#fuck idk how to tag anymore someone tell me what i'm doing

[mixtapedoh]

vernon as highschool crush pls for lonely boy 🧍‍♀️

vernon my bestie beloved bastard ♡ you really are requesting for the people, lindsay.

;༊ — lonely boy

pairing: hansol vernon chwe x gn!reader genre: fluff, high school au word count: ~3.3k warnings: language, mild threats among friends, a lack of originality (but perhaps ameliorated by an understanding of the conventions of trope?)

olive's notes: firstly, hahaha.......... pretend like this wasn't something you sent me actual months ago.... and pretend like i gave the prompt the justice it deserves....... shhhhhh, i answer things in a timely manner and can still be considered a tumblr writer. secondly, this is quite glaringly based off of and colored by my memories of high school, so expect United States education system nonsense <3.

☄. *. ⋆ hansol vernon chwe x high school crush.

— the hardest thing about crushing on this fucker is that he's everywhere

simultaneously the biggest cryptid in the whole student body (if you had a nickel for every time your journalism teacher asked: "has anyone seen hansol this week?" to absolute crickets you'd be able to pay for at least 2 years of college) and also the most social person to ever grace your high school halls, hansol was everywhere all at once, and contradictorily, nowhere when you sought him out.

you wanted to avoid seeing him because of something embarrassing you were sure he had noticed? bam. right there beside you, sitting on the same row of auditorium seats for the assembly.

you wanted to catch a glimpse of him while the both of you were assigned to photograph the basketball game? viola. gone, nowhere to be seen; and yet your friend will tell you later that he was there the whole time, snapping the best photos of boo seungkwan's legendary 3-pointers (which you certainly hadn't missed, so where had he been??).

— yes, having a crush on hansol vernon chwe was exhausting. there was no way to save face — trust hansol to be there at your worst hours (like that chemistry presentation where the color palette you used for your PowerPoint was too light for the old projector screen to show properly, and so you half of your graphics were unreadable, inspiring your professor to dock 10 points, despite that fact that when you pulled it up on a computer screen - or any other device that wasn't an old ass projector at least 15 years out of date - the graphics were just fine and the detail above required). it didn't matter the specifics of the occasion, it was simple fact you'd always somehow manage, in your darkest moment, to look out and see hansol — always a kind smile, with something encouraging in his eye, despite, but still horribly, embarrassingly, and irrevocably present.

— and then, as it if weren't bad enough, hansol vernon chwe had the absolute gall to be unbothered, unfazed, unable to be rattled or shaken in any way, by comparison.

oh sure, you'd seen him cringe before at him friend's (mostly kwon soonyoung's) antics; you were familiar with the way vernon expressed any and all emotion with the whole of him — his every muscle tensing and twisting in a way so visceral and real, you could feel embarrassed, too, by just looking at him — but the envy was this: it was never at his expense that such feelings would arise. vernon was never embarrassed because of something he did or caused or felt. his life was far too chill and unbothered for that. others could be embarrassing around him, but all of his actions flowed so smoothly — rolled over the shoulders of everyone else.

the closest he'd ever get was doing something explicitly stupid just for the enjoyment of others. but, the catch was this: they enjoyed it !!!! it was funny and not cringe worthy !!!!! the net effect was positive.

it was infuriating. sometimes you weren't sure if you wanted to kiss hansol or strangle him with your bare hands.

— but let's take things back to journalism.

— because of course he took journalism.

not exactly the most exalted of the journalism students or anything, hansol was mostly known for his opinion piece articles and, of course, availability and willingness to go to any school event to take pictures and help fill in the blanks of the article anyone was writing.

he had friends in any and all school functions and events. from sports to musicals, science fairs to choir recitals, you could say, "is anyone going to this very obscure and random FBLA presentation?" or "did you know that the coding club is going to be attending an event at another high school this saturday?" and hansol would immediately perk up, pull out one of his headphones and go, "yeah, i'm gonna check it out. did you need a ride?"

— and it was because of that — his being everywhere, inescapable and offhandedly thoughtful, open and so easily warm — that these pesky feelings even started, in the first place.

— just when it happened is perhaps inconsequential (in all actuality, it likely started before your journalism daily exposure, just slowly, more of an itch at the back of your mind than the brash insistence it was, now) but it was definitely the fault of journalism. maybe that band and orchestra festival in 11th grade where you went with hansol to do a write up on all the high schools attending (placing undue emphasis on your high school's multi-talented band leader, lee jihoon, who could play half the instruments in the room), or maybe that series of debate tournaments you both covered in 11th grade, or when the two of you took over the baseball column that same year and when the heatwave spiked early, vernon would attend each game in sleeveless tops, always with an extra ball cap in tow since you would (conveniently, perhaps?) forget one of your own and the sun made it impossible to see what was happening, beyond.

yes, just when it hit was neither here nor there, because at the end of the day, the problem remained: you were hopelessly down bad for one hansol vernon chwe. fuck.

— and you couldn't escape him if you tried.

and trust me, at one point, try, you had.

— after all, at the beginning of your senior year, you somehow ended up being in the same spanish class as him and his friend joshua, and after a whole year (and subsequent summer break, when your journalism teacher found an opportunity to have a section of the city newspaper be dedicated to "the youth of journalism," and weekly, your journalism club was able to publish in the city newspaper) of crushing on hansol with a vehemence perhaps concerning, you knew you couldn't handle having to have embarrassing debates, conversations, and role play scenarios with him.

in perhaps two weeks you were in the counselor's office, exploring alternate class blocks. in the end, you were stuck in a ceramics course instead of your preferred electives, but at least when the unit on "la familia, el amor y todo lo interpersonal" came up, you were role playing as a couple alongside jeon jungkook, who couldn't stop making you wheeze with laughter from his overextention of the r at every available chance, rather than your crush, hansol.

(all it would have taken was one "te extraño" from hansol through your fake hand phones to absolutely floor you. someone call the school nurse, you're fallen and perhaps can never get back up again.)

— so you avoided him there, and even before that, during your junior year, you had mostly eaten off campus on your second schedule days when you and hansol had the same lunch hour and the risk of running into him at a time potentially embarrassing was at an all time high, seeing as nowhere was safe — the social butterfly he was, hansol managed to have business in every hallway of the school. not a single area was risk free.

yeah, junior year really had just been a mess of emotions you hadn't wanted to name, and so instead, elected to pointedly ignore. you were glad to say that while spending your hard earned money to eat out 2-3 times a week was a bit of a low, you had solidly moved out of that phase of your life by spring that year, and could stomach the risk of Being Seen by someone who had captured your attention so strongly.

and yeah, even though you had a bit of a backslide when changing spanish classes senior year (which could be chalked up to self-preservation, truly), you had solidly moved past that whole Avoidance Stage of your Crippling Crush on One Hansol Vernon Chwe.

— so hansol couldn't be avoided. that much was abundantly clear. and you had to interact with him in journalism and (god willing) be normal while doing so, and luckily, while all that exposure didn't exactly desensitize you to his overwhelming charm, admirable confidence, infectious smile, endearing jokes, comfortable aura, and oh so beautiful eyes, it had forced you to just,,,,,,, accept some things.

— accept that you had a raging crush on hansol, but that it could be managed... so long as none of your mutual friends found out.

— you were pretty sure that wonwoo knew, but at least he was ✨subtle✨ and generally checked out of things like that. genuinely, he could not care less, and so he made it no one's problem. you could probably tell him your most rancid, vulgar thoughts, and he would just file it away in his mind as: "nasty shit i can never unhear" and go about his day. compare that to your other mutual acquaintance, seungkwan, and well...

— but for the most part, it seemed that senior year was inching away, another year with a crush on hansol, and another year where you didn't say a damn thing and refused to leave anything close to a hint for him to pick up on.

— but mercy didn't exactly exist for you, now did it.

— the horrible series of Epic Fumblings and Incriminating Moments began in october, when hansol and joshua decided to make a podcast to convince the school that an AV club could be a fun addition to the roster of School Sanctioned Clubs (an idea they really should have had back in august

— the horrible series of Epic Fumblings and Incriminating Moments began in october, when hansol and joshua decided to make a podcast to convince the school that an AV club could be a fun addition to the roster of School Sanctioned Clubs (an idea they really should have had back in august — you know, when clubs were first getting registered and students were accosted in the hallways with club information slapped on astrobrights with strong ~graphic design is my passion~ presentation)

they had needed someone tech savvy enough to get them the podcast equipment and teach them how to use it (and just,,, do all the technical aspects for them 🥺👉👈 pwetty pwease 🥺👉👈 we're just silly boys who want to talk about random shit but are trying to pass it off as being Constructive in Some Sense so that it looks good on college applications) and so obviously their search had sent them in the way of wonwoo, who only seemed to have free time on the exact day and time you two would joint study for your college level government and politics course.

so of course he asked if the two of you could move your study sessions to a different location (he swore he could multitask? okay overacheiver) so that he could both study with you and help the stupidly handsome hansol and joshua with their brilliant podcast idea.

and of course, you'd forget the first time and wonwoo would conveniently not answer his texts for 20 minutes, allowing for the most embarrassing stage of him finally picking up his phone (on speaker?) to you yelling "jeon wonwoo, i will personally castrate you and throw it in the ocean so you can be eaten alive by the creatures birthed from the subsequent sea foam if you don't come to the library to study right now. i have been waiting for 20. minutes. where are you?" and hansol and joshua would hear you. and have the gall to laugh.

and of course wonwoo wouldn't even give you the grace of not having to show up to his house (your new study location) to study for the day. in fact, hansol gave him the brilliant idea of threatening to train an eagle to peck at your liver daily - not eating it fully, just put in it's beak and twist the flesh. since you can't grow another liver overnight, of course. don't you just love mythological punishment.

(and that wouldn't be the end of the embarrassing podcast adventures, either. the time shua cajoled you into being a special guest????? truly, you dodged a bullet not being in spanish with that fool. he's impossible to refuse and the worst of it was that he knew it.)

— or what about the december gift exchange in journalism?? that was certainly not your finest moment, trying to get chaewon to change names with you so that you could gift something to hansol (something lady luck had never granted you despite all the blood, sweat, and tears you sunk into this journalism group of yours), and he heard you, mid-conversation.

seungkwan had told you hansol had been talking about it later, and you quite literally saw him connect the dots in slow-motion as he recounted the story. "y/n, do you have a crush on hansol????" it would have been bad enough that he practically yelled the accusation in the stands of the football field, but then he had the gall to triumphantly gasp and break into hysterical laughter upon your clear embarrassment at being caught. it was during lunch! you're shared lunch break with hansol! who knew where that fucker was! he probably saw the whole exchange!

(in the end, chaewon didn't change names with you (she traded with some other journalism traitor so she could gift to sakura) and even though hansol didn't have your name, he got you something regardless, saying it was thanks for putting up with he and shua stealing wonwoo during your (once peaceful) study sessions. you had decided against getting him a gift regardless, and so you had to awkwardly seek him out during winter break to shove a poorly wrapped box in his hands, with a mumbled apology for your tardiness in gifting, something he pushed away cooly, as expected (but were those red ears of his from just the cold, alone?).)

— and then, well, once everyone came back from winter break and seungkwan knew of your crush on hansol... school became less a Place of Learning and more a Viscous Time Loop of Shutting Seungkwan Up Before He Spilled The Beans.

kicking him under the table. threatening his livelihood. slapping a hand over his mouth on one occasion because seungkwan couldn't take a joke and his retaliation of choice was calling over hansol right there and then and forcing you both to awkwardly sit in the bitter soup of Revelation.

— and then there was february. oh, february. how easy it is to loathe february.

— it was already hard enough getting through the embarrassment of valentine's day themed fundraising — every year, your literature teacher (who oversaw the student body officers — that first exposure to the cruel reality of rigged elections, a popularity win if there ever was one) offered extra credit for students who volunteered time to help the sbo's with their silly little business venture of "roses for $3, sugar cookies with shocking pink frosting for $2, heart suckers for $1, sonnets written by the creative writing and theatre kids for $7.

every year you volunteered for some reason or another - maybe your grade needed it, maybe you were doing sbo president seungcheol a favor because no one signed up, maybe you were following the stupid advice of seokmin and were doing it for the plot (code for: please don't leave me alone at the stand, i will buy you all the sugar cookies you'd like, just don't consign me to spending my lunch break in this particular layer of hell in solitude). this year was no different in you signing up to do time, but seungkwan sure was different, asking you every day if you managed to see if vernon sent anyone something (he had — soonyoung had convinced him to pitch in to send jihoon 16 sonnets, to be read aloud in the middle of class). if he had sent you something (he hadn't).

but when you got an anonymous rose sent to your 2nd class of the day, with a cryptic note attached, your friends wouldn't let you live it down all week. (who had sent it, though? they would have had to be very strategic as to when they placed the order — you had certainly never seen one for yourself in your daily exchange of goods, and seokmin was suspiciously tight lipped about the whole thing (very uncharacteristic of him — who had the ability to buy dk's silence, and better yet, how had they done it???)).

— yes, valentine's day was bad enough. but to add to the mix was always hansol's birthday. last year you'd gotten him a gift since you had worked quite a lot together during that month, and it just felt... normal. comfortable. something kind to do that wasn't weird in anyway. but these days, facing hansol was almost as embarrassing as it had been during junior year when you avoided the mere sight of him like seeing him smile would end in you contracting the plague.

as the day inched ever closer, you were seriously considering missing the day entirely. taking the day off. pretending to be sick. but that wouldn't get you out of seeing him the day after. and the day after that.

perhaps fleeing the country would be a totally normal reaction and solid plan.

— and then joshua invited you to hansol's surprise birthday party.

well. at least that cleared up whether you should get him a gift or not.

— to say that, at that moment and for the subsequent days afterward, were overthinking the whole thing would be to extremely understate reality.

you were about to pop a blood vessel over this shit.

wonwoo was invited, too (how charitable of them. making sure there'd be someone there to scrape you off the floor when you inevitably discovered the power of self combustion) and it was rather comical to see the two of you: cool and calm wonwoo, and you with the internal dialogue of WHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUCKWHA

all holding a cute little gift between you.

— and the surprise birthday party really was a Legitimate, 5-Star, Genuine Quality, Surprise Bona Fide™ - a success by all measures. a shock in more ways than one: a surprise for hansol who had no idea the party was happening in the first place, getting called over for what he expected was a casual videogame night; a surprise for lee chan, somehow, when he saw that shua got you to come 15 minutes before show time to help blow up balloons - a shock so big he started to say something with a wild grin and was immediately dogpiled by mingyu, junhui, and hoshi; a surprise for all the friends amassed when you proved to be quite adept at party games like their incredibly convoluted version of mafia; and a surprise for you, later that night, when hansol offered to take you home

— the two you decided to stop at an empty playground before parting ways and see who could jump farther off of the swings. he won by a wide margin, but you had the skinned knees to prove your effort and the memory of hansol laughing so hard he could barely breathe — his smile so wide it could've filled you completely, banish any longing from your chest for a moment of unique closeness and bliss — and perhaps that was a consolation prize, enough.

but then you and hansol were on the swings again, seeing who could tighten the swing chain the most and spin the longest, and between the motion blur, you heard hansol admit defeat and when the swing stopped, his face was all too close to yours to shrug off as friendly, and his hands were holding the swing chain on either side, and when he spoke soft and low to crown you the victor, you kissed him.

and the biggest surprise of the night was when he kissed you back.

☄. *. ⋆

blog home

[redbullgirly]

The Dancer [FA14 smau]

Fernando Alonoso x dancer!reader

Masterlist

Summary: Few months after, everybody laughs when they remember the rumors about Fernando Alonso and Taylor Swift dating. Would they laugh though if they new it maybe wasn't so far from truth as it may seem? Well, one thing's for sure - Y/N and Fernando will laugh very much while soft launching their relationship... and confusing everyone with swiftie content thanks to her job.

Warnings: Maybe wrong dates and timeline of The Eras Tour, but whatever XD.

messages between Y/N and Fernando

fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram

liked by alex_albon, zhouguanyu24, pierregasly and 562,109 others

fernandoalo_oficial I was taken by the view like we were in Paris... romance is not dead.

view all 4001 comments

user1 i dont think my brain can comprehend so many things all at once😨

user2 right? I'M IN SHOCK

user3 fr fernando wants to give us a heart attack😭

lilymhe I see what you did here...

alex_albon I indeed see what he did here too...😏

user4 guys tell us what he did pls I'm begging youuuu

user5 Alonso soft launching was not on my 2024 bingo card

user6 him soft launching with TAYLOR SWIFT wasn't on MY bingo card 😭

user7 How he's suddenly so hot in the first pic? Like damn sir okay🫢

user8 girlfriend effect is real y'all

georgerussell63 Mate you can't do that to me, I just woke up 😧

user8 lmfao princess georgie is as confused as we are xd

fernandoalo_oficial sorry mate, don't get wrinkles🤞

gerogerussell63 What even is that choice of emoji?

fernandoalo_oficial well, someone is original with an emoji and someone is original with a pose... choice is yours 😃

georgerussell63 Stop it's been almost a year 😭

user9 not them bullying each other💀

user10 Yeah the duo we didn't know we needed

user11 I saw the first picture and almost spat out my drink in shock of such a hot photo of Nando. Then I swiped and literally choked on it because the last think I'd ever expect from his photo dump is a soft lunch of some baddie girl🫣

user12 I am delusional for thinking Taylonso could still have a chance, aren't I?

user13 well i mean you basically answered it yourself so... yeah XD

user14 OMG WHAAAAAAT😱

user15 oh no Fernando is not single anymore💔

user16 I think I accidentally teleported into some alternative universe... what is thiiiis?

user17 REAL

user18 fuck me this man seriously used lyrics from paris by ts💀

user19 Idk why but I kinda like this new side of Fernando😻

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by taylorswift, fernandoalo_oficial, carmenmmundt and 5,234 others

tagged: taylorswift and 9 others

yourusername crazy performance, even crazier night out and the most crazy training the day after... I call that the life of a dancer😻🎉 also my head and heart did go vroom vroom after the second pic

view all 218 comments

taylorswift I call that the eras tour life!💗

yourusername yes ma'am!

user1 damn she got our queen Taylor replying to her posts... how does it feel to live my dream?!😭

yourusername amazing! 🥰

user2 such a shame my mum didn't force me to try dancing when I was little... I could have been at podium next to Taylor Swift right now 😃

liked by the author

user3 You are such a good dancer, the shows wouldn't be the same without you Y/N!

yourusername omg thank u sm I really appreciate that!!🥹

user4 sooo... are we gonna just ignore Fernando in the likes or what???

user5 THAT'S WHAT I CAME HERE TO SAY

user6 fr I need some crazy detective from twitter to figure this out😫

carmenmmundt Hey, could you give me and lilymhe vip tickets...?

yourusername I mean... everything can be done 😏 I'll just need to ask mother Taylor bc I just used my plus one at the last concert🫡

lilymhe OH MY GOD WE LOVE YOU Y/N

yourusername I love you girls as well, we have to finally meet sometimes!!!

carmenmmundt Yeah, I think we'll have chance at the end of February at the latest😉

user7 WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE

user8 Omg are they hinting Y/N at the Bahrain GP?? F1 season starts at the end of February right?!

goergerussell63 Well hello there, nice to meet you Y/N... given the fact my dear girlfriend doesn't care about me, could you give me and alex_albon vip tickets as well?😊

alex_albon Yeah Y/N we are very big fans😊

yourusername everything for the guys that go vroom vroom🫡

alex_albon Like your heart

yourusername exactly!

user9 I AM FREAKING OUT

user9 MY BRAIN HURTS FROM HOW MUCH IS GOING ON

user9 WAIT FUCK I THINK I GOT IT

user9 AAAHHH I FEEL LIKE SHERLOCK MF HOLMES

twitter & messages between Y/N and Fernando

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by selenagomez, fernandoalo_oficial, francisca.cgomes, astonmartinf1 and 8,234 others

yourusername preparing for the next season🤞

view all 1,029 comments

user1 y/n is literally living my dream life rn

georgerussell63 Oh no... he infected you with that emoji, didn't he?

yourusername we'll never know... maybe I infected HIM with it

gourgerussell63 I think higher of you and your taste in emojis

yourusername aww thanks princess georgie how sweet🥰

georgerussell63 I take it back

user2 HELLO?! what is happening💀

dancer1 excuse me little miss y/n... is that a man i'm seeing?🤨

yourusername well... maybe

dancer2 Be fr she's trying to soft launch him for like a month now😭

dancer1 okay i'm calling you rn STAY WHERE YOU ARE

user3 Guys why's nobody talking about the paddock pass in the 5th picture!!!!

user4 omg that's a PADDOCK PASS?😱

user5 yeah it is I noticed it thanks to this comment

user6 Wait... does that mean her and Fernando have been together longer? Because she already went to a race before the winter break??

user5 idk girl we don't even know for sure she's really dating him😓

user6 idgaf about who's dating her bc even without bf y/n's sooo hot like damn... mommy🥵

user7 I'm so confused... is this Alonso's girl or not?

user8 trust me user7 - we'd all like to know that😭

user9 😍

yourusername and fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram stories

yourusername story has been seen by taylorswift, lance_stroll and 13,634 others

fernandoalo_oficial story has been seen by charles_leclerc, astonmartinf1 and 308,003 others

user1 replied to yourusername story: is that an f1 driver there y/n

dancer1 replied to yourusername story: Hope he'll not disappoint me in person when you talked about him sm 😒

yourusername ohhh trust me you'll love him just as I do🥰

dancer1 omg bleeeeh I hope not 🫣

user2 replied to yourusername story: your friends are so pretty😩

taylorswift replied to yourusername story: When you'll take him to get my approval??

yourusername soon taylor, soon... I'm just afraid it'll break the internet lol

taylorswift I think we're used to that already with Travis at this point😂

yourusername true😭

fernandoalo_official replied to yourusername story: 🔥

yourusername it's going to be okay, they'll love you 🫶

fernandoalo_oficial how did you know I was nervous amor?

yourusername I saw you literally shaking when you left to the bathroom love...😹

yourusername oh they're back come quickly!!💞

fernandoalo_oficial onmw

user3 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: IS THIS THE CONFIRMATION WE NEEDED?!

user4 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: I see what you're doing here old man 👀

user5 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: soft launch slowly turning into a hard launch and I'm here for it!!!!

dancer1 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: I guess you aren't that bad in person...

fernandoalo_oficial 😁

user6 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: screaming crying throwing up

taylorswift replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: You better treat my best dancer right Alonso!🤍

fernandoalo_oficial of course ma'am! 🫡

user7 replied to fernandoalo_oficial story: So cute!!😍

messages between Y/N and Fernando

fernandoalo_oficial posted on instagram

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, f1, yourusername and 601,239 others

tagged: yourusername

fernandoalo_oficial All these people think love's for show but I would die for you in secret... #swiftie

view all 6,022 comments

yourusername I'd just like to make it clear to everybody that it's me who made him be swiftie... you're welcome💋

liked by the author

user1 OMG THE LYRICS FROM PEACE BY TAYLOR

carmenmmundt Y/N is so pretty!😍

yourusername ohh carmen ilysm you're even prettier🥹

user2 No way Fernando just really har launched his gf😭

f1 We smell a new wag!

user4 LOL you're kinda late for that admin xd

user5 Congrats and wish you well world champ!💪

user6 can we talk about how gorgeous she is???

lilymhe double date when honey?

yourusername anytime babeee!!!

fernandoalo_oficial why do I have a feeling me and alex_albon will be third-wheeling on you two?🤨

alex_albon you'll eventually get used to third-wheeling your own girlfriend and her friends, trust me fernando...🤠

user7 This girl is like a goddess, I can't even blame him ❤️🔥

user8 mommy & daddy

georgerussell63 Finally! Congratulation on the hard launch mate👍

fernandoalo_oficial and look who's original with emojis now...😂

user9 from now on this is my fav couple

user10 mine to

user11 SHUT UP THE DELULU GIRLIES ON TWITTER WERE RIGHT

lance_stroll 💚💚

user12 nah I don't know what he see in her🙄

user13 Go away we don't want the jealous haters here 🥱

kellypiquet Welcome to the F1 family yourusername!🤍

yourusername thx!💞

user14 i call this couple goals

user15 I'M SO READY FOR BOYFRIEND MATERIAL ALONSO

user16 I can already feel he'll be so hot in his new era 😩

user17 lmao nando in his swiftie and stlutty era as someone on twitter said😹

yourusername swiftie and slutty era? i like the sound of it😏

user16 not y/n reading all the comments sipping over her bf 💀

liked by yourusername

THE END

Author's Note: Hello everyone, hope you liked it! I'm not sure you should get used to me posting so often, but let's say that after Lance's social media au and the great feedback I had so much motivation... plus I'm sick, so I actually have the time to write and create XD. Anyway, I'll be glad for likes, comments, reblog and every other way of showing support! Have a great day and let me know how you liked Nando and swiftie dancer together!

[joonipertree]

idea for the Boxer!Katsuki and Artist!Reader AU! What if, ON TOP OF a rly bad day w college and being overwhelmed w work, we lost our paints :( n we luv our paints so we cry, but katsuki’s there to make us feel better and get us a new set :3

Thank you so fucking much for this. Idk if you knew but I'm actually making a portfolio for art school and Ive been crying every other night because of how stressed I am and how much I feel like I'm a bad artist. So writing this was cathartic

Part 1, Part 2

Tags: Dom/sub undertones, reader acting out and Bakugo being stern, a peak of what kind of shit I want with older men hsjsjsj, fluff, hurt/comfort, soft katsuki

Katsuki was one of the last people you wanted to see when you're in a bad mood. And that might sound terrible but it's because you never wanted to show such a harsh, negative side of yourself to someone you cared about. You were very much a 'feel and then reappear more regulated' type of person. But Katsuki never let you go home on your own anymore, picking you and dropping you off even on days where he had something to do.

So you trotted towards him with a scowl and no energy to fake anything and he noticed instantly, his own concerned scowl mirroring yours.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." You said and opened the door, closing it a bit too loudly. You cringed at the sound but buckled yourself in and turned away before the man got in the driver's seat.

"You're shit at lying."

"Fuck off."

Instant regret, a deep inhale from your part as you tensed.

Fuck.

His large hand came on your thigh and you stiffened, all he did was give it a warning squeeze before pulling away. The message was clear. 'Watch it'.

"I'm not willing to discipline you until I know nothing horrible happened but you do know I don't like that shit from you right?"

You said nothing.

"Give me an answer, doll."

"I'm an adult."

"Yeah, you are. And you're a smart one that knows that we have rules. That I'd be taking you over my lap if you talked like that."

Tears pricked your eyes but you blinked them away, not willing to turn your head to show him.

He knew anyways and he dropped the subject, starting the car and driving off.

Katsuki pulled to a stop at a place that wasn't anywhere near your apartment. You were confused as he got out of the car. Your eyes followed him just as he entered a boba shop.

Oh.

A couple minutes later, he came out with a drink for each of you. You remembered when he said that there just wasn't any point of it, that it seemed stupid and too sweet. But pretty soon, he had his own usual order, which was just Brown Sugar boba tea with the sweetness to a minimum.

Katsuki gave you the drink without even looking your way, sipping on his own. You stared at it for a total of ten seconds before timidly taking a sip. The sweetness broke you out of your sour mood, eyes blinking as you focused on the flavour of your favourite tea. The boba was chewy and soft and it grounded you a bit.

Only after you took a sip, did Katsuki start the car and drive.

When you reached home, the apartment the two of you had started sharing a month prior, Katsuki only gave you time to take off your shoes and put down your bag before he had you over his shoulder.

You struggled, hitting his back and asking him to let you go but he didn't listen...not even feeling it.

And when your ass plopped itself onto the couch, your attempt at running away failed when he easily manhandled you in place.

"I'm not patient enough to coax it out of you, so tell me why you're upset. I'll make it better."

You wanted to refuse but the tears were already dripping down your face.

"I'm so bad at art. I'm so f-fucking bad at it. I don't-" you sobbed and his arms were instantly around you, pulling you onto his lap as you cried into him.

"There's so many deadlines and so many things I have to do and nothing is working. And I don't even know if I'm cut out to be an artist. I'm not good enough, I was never good enough for it. I'm gonna fail-- Katsuki I'm so tired."

Your boyfriend rocked you back and forth, giving you kisses everywhere he could reach, on the side of your face and your head and your hair. And you let the tears fall, hiccuping violently and sobbing without restraint.

"I even lost my fucking paints and I can't live without them and I saved up for them and I'm just doing everything wrong."

You let Katsuki envelope you, squeeze you and warm your inside as you let it all out.

When your sobs died down, Katsuki didn't stop peppering kisses everywhere. It took him a second to speak.

"I didn't know shit about art. It all seemed like fancy, time consuming pictures to me. Hell, even now I don't know shit. But when I saw your art, I felt stuff I thought I didn't know how to feel. And that was the first time I realised that maybe life didn't have to be as shitty as it was. Maybe things didn't have to be ugly."

"When we went to those art galleries, yeah they were cool and pretty but not gonna lie, nothing ever left me speechless like your art did. And yeah...I'm biased as fuck, especially because I thought that the look in your eyes was the prettiest out of everything. That sounds cheesy as shit but you make me feel cheesy as shit."

You had stopped crying, left drained and nuzzled against Katsuki while you looked for an anchor to hold onto. And he held you.

"I like seeing you paint the most though, I like how you focus...I like how you curse under your breath, I like how you grin when something looks right, I like how you scan art supplies before you buy them. I like your paint stained hands and your paint water mugs even when I've accidently taken a sip from them. I like that how you laugh when I do that shit. I love that look of pride you have when you're done and staring at it.

It makes you happy so even if I don't understand the point of it, it means a lot to me because of that. So, whenever that thing stops being fun for you, and really stops being fun for you, I'll support you if you wanna stop. But I gotta keep seeing your work, baby, cuz it's like the inside of your head and it's really neat."

You let a few more tears drop, sniffling and looking into his eyes. There was no ingenuity, only pure emotion. And you let him kiss your tears away, you let him pat your head and you let him make you drink water and feed you.

Because it was never a burden for him to do those things, but a priveledge.

The very next day, the same set of paints were in your bag. Brand new and untouched. Along with three different watercolour paper books. 100% pure cotton, 350 gcm.

With a note that said 'you're still down for a spanking for that shitty mouth of yours. Don't make it a habit.'

[so-long-soldier-writes]

drabble #15 - attention to detail

kai parker x reader

summary: kai admires the way you watch tv

tags: tv watching, fangirl behavior, neurodivergent behavior (?)

word count: 1k

a/n: neurodivergent and/or fangirl reader; idk, this is something i do, idk if i'm crazy for it, or if people relate to it. lmk if i'm crazy. i just want my weird habits validated by kai, mmkay! 😅

Your finger hovers over the exit button on your screen as someone enters the room. Anxiety grows in your chest, but you try to not let it show. They circle around you, likely to join you on the couch, but hopefully not.

“Hey,” the person greets. You relax at the voice of Kai. Despite his reputation, you quite like the guy. He has his own demons, and is learning his way about the world, and while you have nothing in common otherwise, you kind of relate to him in that way. 

“Hi.”

You don’t see it, but he smiles at your response. Just the acknowledgement of his presence is nice to hear. Especially in the gentle, non-accusatory tone you use with him. “Whatcha watching?” He saw a glimpse when he passed behind the couch, but didn’t want to make you uncomfortable by lingering. 

“Oh, just this show I’ve been into for the last couple weeks,” you say, not wanting to reveal the title and give him an opportunity to poke fun. 

“Ah, the one you were watching yesterday? With the- with that actor you like?”

A small blush rises to your cheeks as you squeak out a “yes”, and Kai finds it absolutely adorable. 

“What season are you on?” He asks, no judgment about the show, nor the actor you like. A wave of confidence splashes over you. 

“Six, technically, but I’m rewatching season four before I watch anymore of six, because I’m not ready to process new information.” You chide yourself immediately. What a strange thing to say. And you were doing so well until then. 

Kai narrows his eyes, but then shrugs. “Okay.”

“Like, something big just happened in season six. They’ve already introduced the Big Bad, but the Big Bad in season five was so detrimental to the team - it killed a bunch of folks, and mentally scarred a whole bunch of others - that I’m not really ready to deal with another, so I’m rewatching a season where I know what happens, so that I already know who gets hurt, so it’s less painful to watch. Plus, rewatching episodes always helps me see things I miss the first time, which gives me a better understanding of the plot and the characters.”

Kai tries to not study you like a bug, but he’s fascinated by your explanation. The empathy you have for fictional characters is something he can’t help but admire, as is your desire to soak up every detail like a sponge. He wonders what it would be like to care so much that watching any further would genuinely hurt him. For the first time, he wishes he could love, so he could love like you do.

“Sorry,” you say after a moment of silence, “I just… infodumped on you. That was probably really confusing and weird.”

“No, not weird. It’s nice.” Kai tries to reassure you, but can’t find the words he needs you to hear. 

“I should probably just watch the season and have one big cry at the end like a normal person.”

“No, I think your way is better.”

“Wait, really? Most people tell me it’s just a tv show and to get over it.”

“Well, yeah, it’s a show, but it’s something you love, so who gives a fuck how you like to watch it? They’re not watching it with you; they’re not even in the room. I like the way you say you take the time to learn the characters and understand the plot. Y’know, someone put a lot of effort into that show you’re watching, and you’re enjoying it the way they’d want it to be enjoyed. Like it’s a piece of art in a museum, and you’re pointing out all the brush strokes and reading the plaque to understand the medium.” When you give him a confused glance, he smiles sheepishly. “I know a little about a lot of things. Went to a couple museums when I was stuck in 1994.” 

“Ah.”

“But my point is, coming from a sociopath, the empathy you have for the characters in your show is really cool. And I can understand the rewatching bit, too. I haven’t rewatched anything with the intensity that you have, but obviously, I could only watch anything made pre-1994, and to hell if I’m watching anything black and white, so I’ve seen some of the same movies once or twice, or more. Sometimes I get tired of rewatching the same stuff, but sometimes, I’ll also pick out a funny line I missed the first time, or a hand gesture that reveals a character knew something all along.”

You smile at him, grateful for his words and engagement in the conversation. You feel a little less childish about your own habits, especially knowing Kai’s not one to lie or hold back his true feelings about anything. For him to go as far to say he recognizes your empathy is a lot, and nothing you’d expect from the newly-reformed serial killer. 

“Thank you,” you blurt out, not wanting to leave him hanging.

“For what?”

“For not making me feel stupid about my interests.”

His eyes narrow. “Who makes you feel stupid?”

“A lot of people. Family… Damon.”

“Well Damon tries to make everyone feel stupid, and family sucks.”

You snort. “True.”

“If he says anything again, he can go through me.” Kai sends you a wink. 

“Okay,” you giggle in response. 

“Good.”

The man watches you for a minute longer. You press your spacebar to make the show play, and he takes note of the smile that spreads across your face as the characters fill the screen once more. He wants to ask to watch it with you, but doesn’t want to push just yet, so he doesn’t. He’s making progress, though, and gaining your trust. Hopefully soon, you’ll be less shy around him. 

And you think the same, feeling his eyes on you. Your trust isn’t something that’s easily given, but this isn’t the first time Kai’s made you feel comfortable, and you have a feeling it won’t be the last. He stays on the other end of the couch, but sticks to himself, and within a couple minutes, laughs quietly at something on his phone. The air between you is pleasant. His words run through your head once more, as the same scene plays for maybe the tenth time, but this time, you aren’t as worried about the people in the room as you watch.

[thatsthewrongwallcraig]

hiii it's the domestic lover kappa hc and the "ive never felt that way about anyone" anon 😭😭 after reading the carousel fic you've made me develop a crush on gabe too LMAAOOO umm anyways 🤭 he's such a sweet boy like always trying to do right by you and i just wanna hold him and just reassure him that i'm not going anywhere EEEEEEEE HAHAHAH sorry especially whiny gabe???? id do anything for him idk idk maybe it's just me but i'd love to see your take on this

Dear nonnie, I'm so so so thankful for all your asks! I love and enjoy writing them so much!! ✊🏻😩🫶🏻

Cake

Summary: Whilst holding Gabriel in a close embrace, you force yourself to face some facts…

Pairing: virgin!Gabriel x nurse!fem!Reader

Word Count: -1.1k

Content Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, A Lot Of Emotional Constipation, Kinda Angsty, A Little Bit Of Making Out 18+!,

A/N: I successfully made myself cry over this…my heart is ACHING for Gabe!

Sequel to Carousel!

Tagging the horny horde:

@crypticsewerslut @quicksilversg1rl @cc-luvr @icarus-star @milaeth @roryculkinsgf @spookyorchid @arch1viste @whoareyoi @angelsanarchy @blueberrypancakesworld @rocketqueen-world @r0ttenmess @doddernix @svgarcaine @amayalul @basementgrl222 @kristennero-wallacewellsver @iiheartsai @fan-goddess @shady-the-simp

Your skin is warm like an oven

Your kiss is sugary sweet

Your fingers feel like cotton

When you put your arms around me

I feel like I'm just missing

Something whenever you leave

- Cake By Melanie Martinez

With your fingertips deeply hidden away in Gabriel’s hair, his cheek resting right against your collarbone from where his warm breath breezed over your bare skin, you let your eyes wander through his room. Of course, you’d entered and left it plenty of times in the last 2 years but it slowly dawned on you that you actually never really took close notice of all the little things and trinkets he surrounded himself with.

The wall right next to the door giving way to the corridor was practically plastered with posters of his favorite movies and pictures. Photographs from times long gone, the sun shining brightly into happy faces of an intact family captured on a piece of shiny photography paper. You looked at them, studied them closely one after the other, and with every passing second the reality of your situation settled into your chest. What in the everloving fuck where you doing here? Why was your “patient”, a resident of Ward 4, cozily nestled in between your legs whilst your fingers played with strands of his hair, twirling them around your digits again and again? You’d be royally screwed if someone were to find out about any of it, that much you knew.

“Gabe..?” Your voice was low as you addressed him.

“Hmm?” He hummed back, his fingers tracing the curve of your breast lazily, sending a comfortably warm wash over your skin.

“You gotta promise me that you won’t tell anybody about this…” You felt your voice breaking off as your brain jumped to the necessary cause of you feeling so strongly about it.

There was much more to it than just the fear of losing your job and probably ending up as a juicy headline in the local tabloids for a week or two and by now you had to force yourself to face it.

“Because…”, It left your mouth in a heavy sight, “Because I don’t think I could deal with not seeing you anymore.”

The last thing you’d expected was for Gabe to laugh out at your words. At first, you felt a mean sting of hurt jolting right through your chest but it eased up as soon as Gabriel raised his head from your chest to beam at you with the brightest smile you’d ever seen on his face.

“I promised you already, didn’t I?”, He chuckled softly, slowly pulling himself up to nudge the tip of your nose with his, “Promised you to be a good boy about it, no? Wouldn’t wanna be without you either.”

“Yeah, you did.”, His lips brushed over yours and you smiled against them, feeling how your body rendered hungry for his touch again, “It’s just…I couldn’t…I- I can’t fathom losing you, Gabriel.”

“You won’t, I’ll make sure of that, I promise.” Gabe quipped before pressing his lips to yours, teeth playfully nipping at your bottom lip until you darted your tongue out to push into his mouth.

You allowed his words to settle right in your heart that was thumbing against your ribcage a little faster with every next kiss Gabriel planted to your lips, his tongue now curiously exploring your mouth as well. For a moment, you just pushed everything else to the side and breathed him in, your body craving to soak up as much of him as you possibly could. With Gabriel right above you, it took every last bit of self-control from you to not simply wrap your legs around his hips and pull him into you. One thing after the other, you had to repeat it to yourself in your thoughts over and over again whilst your hands ruffled through his hair, tenderly shaking it out a little for it to fall into his face.

“Can I ask you something?” Gabe reluctantly broke from the kiss to look at you with a slightly watery sparkle in his eyes.

“Sure, of course, angel face.” Right after the words had left your mouth, you felt just how much truth and intention you’d been putting into that seemingly simple pet name of his.

Sweet, sweet Gabriel really had an angel’s face, especially when he smiled at you like this. It made your knees weak and your heart ache for him.

“Do you love me?” He asked carefully and the question itself made time stop for a split second.

You felt your mind short-circuiting for an instant, thoughts crumbling into oblivion as the way his eyes widened in anticipation violently pulled and tugged at your heartstrings. It made an awful lot of sense to you how he asked you first. It was a last-threshold safety measure. That way he could act all indifferent and unfazed in case you were to answer with something he didn’t want to hear. However, you knew that he wouldn’t have to.

“Yeah, I do.” It trickled from your lips in the very same second you could feel your heart breaking apart inside your chest.

You did, you were in love with Gabe but the last shreds of sanity and responsibility revolted as loud and painful as they possibly could.

“You…do?” A tell-tale accumulation of forming tears pooled at his lower lashline, Gabriel wasn’t expecting that for an answer it seemed.

“Uh-huh, I’m afraid I fell head over heels for you, angel face.” On the inside you felt like falling apart, your conscience screaming at you that this ship was bound to sink, that the entire endeavor was doomed from the start with Gabriel being locked up in here and you being his godforsaken nurse.

There wouldn’t be anything good coming out of this, yet you refused to believe that all of it was wrong.

[wormlips]

The way I got into Thramsay, I was frightened at the thought of reading ff about them, even though I shipped the guys from Killing stalking — arguably not as whumpy. But, they were the most toxic pairing I’d shipped, up until that point. I had only ever watched GoT too, till recently. I thought the fanfiction would be darker, I think. But I was still intrigued, cause I did draw them on one occasion. Then like 5 years later, I came to check this tag on a whim, and had such a visceral reaction to some fanart on here. Long story short, I now strangely ship three pairings where one half of the ship kidnapped (“kidnapped”) the other. And two where one character has .. lost some bits. *whispers* how are there two?? 💀

Yeah it's funny how you can tell yourself 'im just going to take a quick look' and then fall head-first into things. like you never saw it coming but suddenly it's a part of your life

or dismissing a thing only to return years later and realize that it was right up your alley all along

Your ask made me write even more because like you I hadn’t shipped anything on thramsay's level before so i didnt have a good frame of reference what it might have been like but i were intrigued too and it's cathartic putting into words what i think makes them so captivating to me

I definitely had interest in toxic relationships with abusive and dark elements in it long before but none where one of them had literally removed body parts from the other. I think Ive always been on the softer side so I need (needed? Idk if i do currently) some sort of mutual feelings even if it is irrational or non genuine like people who cant help but still love someone who hurts them or the reverse - loves someone but cant keep from hurting them. The DA fic kind of pushed that to its limits but it contained some sort of lingering sentimentality amidst graphic descriptions of flaying and i was thinking you can do that??? Though in that fic the torturer had been corrupted by magic so their relationship had been normal at one point which separates it from thramsay. but it had been proven to me that ppl could justify* ”love” in horrible conditions that is interesting to read and i should stop writing but i went into thramsay fics to find out if someone had done so (also whatever else, i was fucking around to find out)

It just hits the spot i ❤️ characters being conflicted about their lover and i want to be unable to tell if the ”love” they feel for their counterpart is actually something else

even though i'm not particularly into show-verse thramsay anymore the best example i can give is the infamous bathing scene where ramsay asks if reek loves him and reek says of course with full conviction and it's like obviously it isn't true though reek might feel like he does because he has conditioned himself to have that response, he brainwashed himself to cope and for safety because he has to believe so ramsay can't find out he's lying but then if he thinks he feels it so much that he does............? how do we define real vs fake love an-... whatever i'm going too far we don't need a philosophical discussion of this rn

you can make it worse by switching between him being self aware of all this to fully believing he's always been ramsay's, the way he slips back into theon's thinking patterns in the book from reek's and anything inbetween until you have toxic sludge on your hands and furthest thing from a normal, healthy relationship

and even more fun if you do the same to ramsay, it doesn't have to be real love but it's such a clingy obsession and dependency, mutual belonging and the idea that he will always return so his closeness, his whispers will be likened to that of a lover because what else is there to compare it to *there's probably a better way i could put it but by justify i mean the author writing something that makes sense from the character's point of view. i don't want to be misconstrued

[peach-bobatea]

**(Trigger warning: SA mention(ed once))**

Idk how to start these kinds of posts, so I'm going to start off with my thoughts about the situation, because I'm at my breaking point.

First off, I'd like to say how fucking pissed I am to see people harassing and sending death threats to others for liking a character from Outlast, where pretty much *everyone is fucking horrible.* I'm assuming the people who do so are not used to fandoms like Outlast, but oh my god it's gone way too far. Why harass someone for liking a fictional character?

On that note, I'd like to discuss Coyle a little bit, concerning the people who have admitted to liking him openly getting harassed. I like him. I have ever since the closed beta came out. Most of us are aware that he's a horrible person, but so many of you think that we like him because of the things he's done, when no, that's not the case. We don't like him because he was a Klan member, we don't like him because he is a domestic abuser. Most of us like him because he's an attractive character, and he has an interesting story. People might just like him because he's their type. it doesn't have to go any deeper than that. Can't we like horrible characters anymore without being harassed?

Also, a lot of these people who seem to think that we like him because of the things he's done, seem to think that because we like him, it means it *must* align with our morals, when no, that's not how that works. I'm not entirely sure if these people are that stupid, or they just refuse to use their brains. I have seen someone call people who like Coyle racist over little to no evidence, it's just because they think that he's a disgusting character, it must mean that anyone who likes him is the same way. That's just stupid. Plain stupid.

Now, my personal thoughts about Coyle because I've been keeping them all bottled up.

As someone who's liked him ever since the closed beta, I can tell you that I fell in love with him *before* his lore was released. At the time, all I knew was that he SA'd people and was sadistic. When his lore *did* finally came out, I legitimately felt heartbroken. So I can tell you with complete certainty, that most people who *do* like him, don't like him because of the terrible things he's done, it's because we were just attracted to his character. And also, I've seen some people say that we should just stop being connected/loving him because of his backstory. I can tell you right now, that that's not how it fucking works. You can't just cut yourself off from a character immediately, especially if you're extremely connected to the said character.

And to the people saying that we "romanticize", "sexualize", and "glorify" Coyle (I'm using Coyle as another example, because that's pretty much all I see mentioned when people complain, besides the few people who complain about Eddie simps/stans), we don't do that by simply ignoring what he's done. We do realize he's bad, and we don't need to hyperfocus on those specific traits of his backstory or character. We also aren't saying anything he has done or does is a good thing that should be followed, we are simply ignoring those parts because they aren't really plot-important, nor do they really need attention.

Now.... Considering that the people have been harassing (indirectly or directly I don't care) others have liked and posted characters such as Nurse Sally and Val, I don't think their opinions are the most valid. I might be wrong, please correct me if I am. People who have attachments to/are attracted to a horrible character aren't immediately horrible themselves. I can promise you, most people who like horrible, disgusting characters aren't like them at all.

Now about the Proshipper bs, I'm not going to talk about that, because I have little knowledge about it. About Dead Dove fics on the other hand, nobody is forcing you to read those fics. It's completely *your* fault for not reading the tags in advance, it's not the writers' or other consumers' fault. Dead Dove literally means that there are going to be dark subjects in the fanfic, don't complain once you read it and see dark subjects like the tag had told you beforehand.

Coyle himself, is a terrible, *terrible* man. But that doesn't mean we have to focus on him being horrible *all* the time. There are plenty of characters who are almost exactly the same, or are worse. You can't control or police who other people can love vs who they can't, especially not in the outlast fandom, where most of the characters are horrible in their own right. You may not be into certain characters, but that doesn't mean you can harass and send death threats to others who do.

(I apologize if this wasn't as coherent as I hoped :'))

[mono-socke]

soft asks to get to know people

what song makes you feel better?

what’s your feel-good movie?

what’s your favorite candle scent?

what flower would you like to be given?

who do you feel most you around?

say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).

what color brings you peace?

tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good. 

what calms you down?

what’s something you’re excited for?

what’s your ideal date?

how are you?

what’s your comfort food?

favorite feel-good show?

for every emoji you get, tag someone and describe them in one word.

compliment the person who sent you this number.

fairy lights or LED lights?

do you still love stuffed animals?

most important thing in your life?

what do you want most in the world right now?

if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

what would you say to your future self?

favorite piece of clothing?

what’s something you do to de-stress?

what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.)

what movie would you want to live in?

which character would you want to be?

hugs or hand-holding?

morning, afternoon or night?

what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

I ddon't really know if you want to know only specific ones or like,, everything?? but I'm bored so uhh, have all answers

'Ain't no man Manhattan' (Anthony Rapp) or 'Party Hat' (Eric William Morris and Lauren Marcus)

Hotzenplotz. Specifically the 2006 version)

I don't really like candles, but my favourite scent overall is probably,, freshly baked things (??)

Dandelions (I'm not a big fan of flowers in general (well, they do look really cool and planting them is awesome, but I don't want to recieve bouquets as a gift), but they're fine)

My best friend(s), for sure

uhhh, let me think. physically: 1 my eyes look pretty cool (the pupils at least), 2 I have like,, kinda talented hands,, I guess?? 3 I have very expressive eyes and eyebrows and it's fun to watch myself act emotions sometimes. non-physically: I can draw pretty well (in my opinion) 2 I can accomplish/finish stuff pretty quickly if I actually want to, 3 I have a very good memory

Green

very nervous about tagging people but like,, everyone who interacts with my blog or me in general regularly

Music. or being aggressive (to no one directly, more to myself about some topic that pisses me off) for a few minutes to let out energy

Summer vacation and watching Dear Evan Hansen in october

Watching some sort of musical/play together and talking about it afterwards

Kinda tired and warm, but pretty okay overall

Idrk. Chocolate, I guess??

The Big Bang Theory (I always watched it when I was younger, so I suppose it has something to do with nostalgia, and because I still like most characters)

?

(oh this is one of those messages usually sent around on what's app, but since the ask is anon I can't do that)

Fairy Lights, but with other themes,, like,, bat ones for halloween (if that makes sense)

Of course I do. I don't really buy any for myself anymore, but I still have a few from when I was younger and I don't think I'll get rid of them anytime soon

My friends and their happiness (as sappy as that sounds)

Getting a proper sleep rhythm /hj (tbh, I'm not sure. being able to stand on stage more probably. it's really fun but there are barely any options for that around here)

Don't just fucking sit there in silence and complain. That's not how it works.

Please tell me you stayed in contact with the other three.

A purple plaid shirt to wear opened over t-shirts (idk why either, it just looks cool and I like purple)

Playing with literally anything my hands can grab

It's not really something physical, and if it were, it'd just be a handwritten card with some sort of inside joke. I think the best thing people can tell me is that I'm inspiring them to do something (or stuff like that)

I don't watch that many movies, but I think 'Fak ju Göthe' would be fun

Good old SQUIP or Lucas Gray (or David. Depends)

With close friends, hugs. With others, both are relatively the same

Night

Having cats running around me (I grew up with cats around me constantly, I'm pretty used to that)

Well uh,, now you know a bit about me?? I guess?? Do with this information as you want

[stackthedeck]

20 questions for fic writers Thank you @babblingflowers for the tag!!

How many works do you have on ao3?

45 minus the podfic which i don't count but maybe I should

what's your total ao3 word count?

308,676

3.What fandoms do you write for?

writing now mostly marvel comics specifically fantastic four and spider-man but before that it was that weird soup of marvel where it's both the comics movies and shows blended into a beautiful mess

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Getting together for the kids, space boys, one little slip, what's mine is ours, let's see how far you've come

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I used to be really good about it, but in the same way I get overwhelmed by responding to online messages comments have been a lot but I still love them so much! I always respond if it's a recent fic and I swear I will reply to the 60 in my inbox soon

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending

either "put me together and take me apart" because it ends with Matt and Peter breaking up because they're still grieving their exes but it feels so much less sad because they get back together in the sequel.. Or "ignorance is bliss" because Jon (tma) forgets Martin exists

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

One little slip, Johnny and Peter get together and go to a premier as the human torch and spider-man

Do you get hate on fics?

Not on any that are currently up...

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah, it's been very gender queer lately idk what that means but smut has just become a vessel to display the beauty of queer bodies recently

Do you write crossovers?

not anymore, but my second most popular fic is one so...

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah I had a good omens fic translated into russian it was good old fashion lover boy

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no but I'm trying to cyberbully one of my friends into co-writing one with me (Ash if you're seeing this, we've gotta do it)

What's your all-time favorite ship?

All time is hard it's gotta be Percabeth but like currently it's parksborn

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I will finish them it'll happen I swear to god it will, don't look at the parksborn divorce fic I promise it'll update one day

What are your writing strengths?

I think what I have up currently on ao3 has really good dialogue but in my current wips I'm really vibing with like I guess internal thoughts, they feel in character but not it's not so much information that it feels like telling instead of showing

What are your writing weaknesses?

schedules, discipline, finishing anything, my pacing is a little weird at times and I'm always worried about "he would not fucking say that"

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't because I don't know any languages other than English, I'd reach out to someone that actually spoke the language but the reader would probably just google translate it and that'd take them out of the story and the translation wouldn't be good but I guess I could do a footnote. Idk I haven't found a story that has use for it yet

First fandom you wrote for?

Why couldn't it have been the first fandom I read for? ...it was Hamilton, I'm not happy about it either

Favorite fic you've written?

either the parksborn divorce fic because of an unpublished scene or it's you, it's always been you because of the spideypool fight. I think I just love reading couples fighting where they go for the throat (metaphorically if not also physically)

guess I've gotta tag people @evilwickedme @waterme-stories @seek--rest and all the other lovely writer mutuals who I'm forgetting

[c0rpseductor]

bitching and moaning post

i know the satanic panic was completely nuts and that nothing that was alleged in it actually happened in any way. i still hate seeing it mentioned so much bc so many people will bring up fucking false memory syndrome foundation talking points in response, like "they implanted false memories in kids to make them say this shit, remember that it's what happens to everyone who says they had a 'repressed memory' and that's always how they 'retrieve' these things in therapy, DID came out of the satanic panic and it's not a real diagnosis and the people who claim to suffer from it...uhhh idk made it up for attention and weren't really abused i guess!"

it's so fucking exhausting. i know i shouldnt have looked in the tags of that post and it's my own fault for upsetting myself. i just wish people wouldn't say shit like this. i hate feeling like nobody would believe me about what abuse i suffered in my family just because i had such difficulty with recall. like yes it is possible to forget parts of a trauma and still have it affect you that's why it's part of the diagnostic criteria for fucking ptsd. not everyone who claims to have forgotten something is making shit up or talking about like. remembering things bc of fucking hypnosis therapy. when i was in therapy most of what happened was me describing fucking actual abuse that was happening in my family right then and having nobody give a shit bc Kids Are Dramatic. nobody was trying to make me think i was abused because nobody listened to me about the abuse i was even able to articulate was happening.

and like. saying DID was fucking invented by the satanic panic isn't even fucking Accurate, but i'm just so exhausted of hearing it anyway. like ok so clearly the reason ive had all these symptoms since i was very young before i even understood DID was not "for television" (bc i legitimately thought it was like, a fictional parody of schizophrenia) is because um. ?????. yeah. no youre right when things happen to me i should definitely accept that i can't tell what they are and listen to the people who tell me that i'm stupid and nobody has ever abused me and that i can't ever trust anything i remember. you guys definitely have my best interests at heart. my dad was innocent! it was all a sexual fantasy just like freud said! nice men would never do those things! like. ugh. i just hate it i hate that i doubted myself all my life and felt so miserable going through abuse alone and being gaslit and people are STILL FUCKING DOING THE GASLIGHTING!!!!! bc they dont like. know what actually happened during the satanic panic and think loftus was right. everyone who was involved in the false memory syndrome foundation should be shot.

like. i dont want to question myself anymore. i dont want my first thought whenever i have flashbacks or get upset to be "i'm making this up. if i remember something bad it was imaginary, because nobody can forget and remember something bad. it must be satanic panic pseudoscience, somehow." why do some people think they're doing a service to survivors when they trot this shit out. idk.

i know it happened. long after i began remembering stuff my mom has alluded to my dad doing the exact same things to her, having the exact same attitudes and patterns and everything, and i think the only reason i remember anything more violent than she reports is because he understood i was forgetting things and could get away with doing stuff to me that he couldn't with somebody who would remember it. like, everything i remember is horrible, but it makes complete sense and is totally possible and doesn't contradict anything about like...my parents or my life before i began remembering or just basic things like "can someone physically do this." like my dad wasnt an evil cult wizard he was just a normal thug and rapist. idk. i just really did not need to expose myself to this stuff and it's my fault i did but. ughhh

[bluewinnerangel]

right back at ya cowboy

Omg ella I'm so sorry I was gonna do this "later" and then it got buried. OK. I clicked. EDIT: I JUST FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS IM DOUBLE SORRY lol imma expose my ramble draft

[So in case someone's reading this thinking ???? we sometimes throw a spinning wheel of songs at each other and then just go rambling yelling analysing whatever it gives back. I've kept track with this tag, feel free to copy any of them wheels links and go off or bug someone with it actually pls do]

Oh you mean that song I for some reason like some total idiot put on first thing in the morning and just bawl my eyes out, you know when its so early you're just so vulnerable and everything feels raw and there's no thoughts just something primal happens and it's me drowning myself in this song and then the day can start I guess am I fine nobody knows. It's now my Saturday morning ritual where before coffee I see some sun and I just bawl there's something therapeutic about it. I'd recommend it. Just some sun some coffee brewin some confused pet wondering if you're OK yeah.

Anyway. The song I can place extremely easily in like "1d ended and it sucked" context, but it works with a lot. whatever I can think of him, or anyone, writing about, whatever it means to me. (general Louis' songwriting ramble incoming:) I'm looking at FITF differently compared to Walls and previous work and he's approached it differently, I feel like what he's been saying about his discography fits that as well. I think (this is a mash of what i think to hear in his lyrics and in interviews, so heavy paraphrasing:) before he had this idea he should be writing where the whole thing makes sense to be about this one situation/idea and it has to be about him too and sure perhaps a context might have been written around it, but i think in the past hes been pretty perfectionist on having every single line fit the thing he was thinking of what that song is, and now thats no longer the case. Now it's whatever works, whatever hits, feels, does it. It doesn't matter one thought/situation flows into another.

I guess that was a long rambley way of saying I wanna do line by line lyric analyses of his stuff but I don't know how to make that work as it did previously, for me at least. But on the other by temporarily running with one interpretation and seeing what you can find in the lines can really help see more angles, bring more depth to the line, and consider other meanings and stuff so.. idk not much wrong with it. I wanna do that too I think. This is I guess A Promise I'll do a Holding On To Heartache lyric breakdown. At Some Point. :D

But I think his choices of words and soundscapes and perhaps all them being little references are just wonderful. I cherish it so much. I'm slightly afraid he did the same in Perfect Now (like after seeing a web of possible perfect now lyrical referencing that song did become one of my favs as I love that idea like it gives so much more body depth meaning whatever to a song to me even if not on purpose lol its not even relevant at that point anymore anyway) and long term didn't value it much so now I'm afraid my new little more poppy fav will be his new neglected child but time will tell. Just... have an itch. Rip. EDIT yeah that itch got worse because of the track by track we got now.. it's got that bit about HOTH being a poppy one and the way he's talking about it sigh i feel him but sigh also hes sigh i dont wannt start that discourse over that shit so no. but itch. I uh... luckily don't let how I interpret his reactions to his own songs affect the way I feel about his own songs haha brainpayne this.

ok ok ok last ramble it sounds so fucking liquid? so wet?? how do I explain this why does it sound w e t EDIT: help me he said the sound is like a guitar under water like he's drowning it's flooding we're in a puddle of tears this song, it's what makes me bawl I think, because the song sounds like bawling, and your cheeks are puffed up and we,t and you find a moment of quiet and stare up at the sky with your wet lashes exhausted defeated but you're still here you're still breathing. Also the bridge with the "space between us just comes FLOODING back" at the end of it, it's not the bit that hits the hardest in an obvious way, instead it kinda gets overlooked a way, theres no moment to sit and waddle in the SHIT FLOODING BACK RIGHT THERE it just goes right into the quiet bit again,there's no time given to recover from getting crushed by the wavesm and it just does something to me... I can't leave that bit as the little end of a big thought it sounds like, but the way its sung... time just keeps ticking and we're at the end. I'm almost sure that wasn't intentional and like @ me why focus on this of all the overwhelm that's in this song, but that just feels like a reflection of the feeling I get from this song, you're just fucking sitting there in the middle of this overwhelming ache these waves of hurt and shit just moves on and youre just there stuck there with but i wasn't done? But I guess I should be? Like there's no room for me drowning in this even more but I feel like I need to still?

ramble out.

[mayonnaisetoffees]

Oversharing on the Internet

Tagged by: @mistmarauder 🧡 (I can respond to these in a timely manner! Who knew? Though I always say waaaaay too much hence the readmore)

ONE: Are you named after anyone? My middle name was for my mum's great-nana I think? Maybe great-grandma and I only think great-nana because we only had a great-nana. But not my first name, no. But fun fact: My parents ONLY had one name for a girl. If my younger sibling had been born a girl they'd have been fuuuucked. (Also part of why I keep my name despite it being v much female-coded because like I earnt this. Also, like... it's my name. It fits me, thought I more often than not get confused seeing it written down because like that's my verbal name, Mayo is my written name.)

TWO: When was the last time you cried? Last week? Little sleep + stress of moving = lots of tears at random times.

THREE: Do you have kids? Nope! Don't have pets either. I wanna foster/adopt/support (probably older kids/teenagers) at some point but not for a few years and I absolutely do not want bio kids. Pregnancy freaks me the fuck out.

FOUR: Do you use sarcasm a lot? Fairly often? I can't even tell anymore tbh like I just talk, even I'm barely paying attention to what I'm saying half the time! Less so online I think (this is where people are like nah mate you do that here too) because it's definitely been misunderstood before - sometimes making me look very daft and I'm like I don't know you people well enough to say that that was what is called a joke

FIVE: What sports have you played/do you play? I never found one I liked apart from, like, bench-ball. The fact that there aren't (that I've found at least) casual places to play bench ball as an adult is a fucking travesty.

SIX: What's the first thing you notice about people? Their smile/laugh/sense of humour? I'm really bad with faces, but if someone laughs or makes a joke pretty soon after I meet them, I remember them a lot more easily. Online it's definitely like the quirks of their writing style.

SEVEN: What's your eye colour? Brown! Pretty dark brown too so like none of the "ooh it's got XYZ in it in the light" it has brown with hints of brown

EIGHT: Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings - I am the biggest wimp with scary films. I was part of the "let's go hang in the kitchen with the leftover pizza/snacks" gang if horror films came on at a sleepover!

NINE: Any special talents? I'm not the biggest fan of cake, but by god will I make the best cake you've tasted. I can also do a good mix CD (less good at specific playlists because playlists it's just a big mess of great songs) and I can flick through to the right page in a book for a quote pretty easily - drove some people mad in English because people would be trying to find it for like five minutes and I'd just be like drrrrrrrr (idk how to write the noise for fanning through the pages) There!

TEN: Where were you born? At home, south of England (I'm very much Northern, being there for like two memories max one of which was falling asleep indoors doesn't count 😂). I can't remember if it was me or my older brother this happened for, but my mum went into labour in the middle of the night and woke my dad up and was like "The baby is coming" and my dear father went "If you still think so in half an hour, wake me up again" and rolled back over. Needless to say, he was not, in fact, allowed to go back to sleep. He also hates that story so we tell it as often as possible 😇

ELEVEN: What are your hobbies? Uhh I watch a lot of TV? 😂 I need to get more hobbies that get me outside tbh. But I podfic, I knit sometimes when I'm watching stuff and I play games when I watch stuff, I cook a lot, I bake, I like long walks on the beach actually I like reasonable length walks by rivers/green areas or along the promenade if I'm at the beach because sand (Anakin Skywalker was right and he should say it).

TWELVE: Do you have any pets? Nope! Just moved, but I used to help look after my friends' dog every so often - she's a black cockapoo called Luna and I love her dearly but she also made me realise if I do get a dog, I don't want a puppy. They are a lot of work. Which makes sense because they are literally baby

THIRTEEN: How tall are you? 5'7", please don't ask me for the metric - I haven't had to be measured in a while so I only know it in imperial. I wanna say like 167cm maybe? Does that sound right???

FOURTEEN: Favourite subject in school? English (Language over Lit) or French 100%. I always say that my optional GCSEs were all basically an extension of my skills in English (AKA bullshitting): Religious Studies (taught tbh as Christianity + a few other examples), French, Spanish (both still bullshitting just in another language), and Drama (absolutely bullshitting and also in my case scaring the shit out of an examiner because the plate smashed into lots of pieces that flew everywhere rather than just a few in a controlled space like it had in rehearsal)

FIFTEEN: Dream job? God I miss working in a cafe/events. But they don't pay the bills as well! Also like I would ideally want to do my current job 3 days a week and a manual job 2 but like without having to work lots of extra hours to keep on top of both, yk?

Tagging: @glaftwlet @emryses @snapshotmaestro @idyllic-idioms @alloverthegaf and idk anyone else who wants to do it! Brain empty can't remember usernames

[itstheelvenjedi]

~couple questions~ for when you need an excuse to talk about your characters/ship 😽

8, 10, 16, 19, 22 and 25

Pick your fav pairings with your tav.

These are from the [~Couple Questions~: For When You need An Excuse to Talk About your Characters/Ship] list for anyone who either wants the list or wants to send some more!

Sorry this one took a while @csphire, I too got a little carried away and wrote probably way more than I was supposed to bwahahaha But I hope you enjoy! 😉 Obligatory disclaimer that there's some very horny/suggestive things in some of these answers, and also there WILL be spoilers for the plot of the game so like. Do not read if you're someone who hates spoilers and hasn't played through the whole game yet etc etc.

Also, I'm playing loosey-goosey with the lore in some respects because I'm here to have a good time, not a 100% canon compliant time. If you don't like that then just stay off my posts for the sake of both our sanities, I beg of you 🙏Rai is a polyamorous bisexual disaster and has a closed polycule with Karlach, Wyll and Dammon (tho I'm going on ~vibes~ and Wyll and Dammon aren't romantically/sexually involved bc I just didn't get that vibe from them while writing. It's a "ah yes, my girlfriends and their cool boyfriend : )" situation from both sides for the guys. They're purely platonic but they both love their girls a whole lot.) And before someone says it, no I don't care that it's not canon in-game. I don't need it to be canon in-game to do it anyway and I will die on this hill so don't try me /hj

commence the spoilers/horniness/etc under the cut! last chance to click away if you don't want to see that! XD (oh also trigger warning for mentions of child abuse/mistreatment, and...idk how best to word it other than discussions of being trained as a child soldier and references to past abuse and trauma. I've tried to blanket cover with trigger tags but ask if you'd like me to add any others I've missed!)

What do they find physically sexiest about each other? Going with Rai and Wyll for this one bc I think they have the best answers! ☺️

Rai: The ✨horns✨. Listen. I get why he's upset about them at first. I do. I totally get it. But come ooooonnnnn!! You CANNOT tell me those babies are anything except sexy as FUCK to tieflings. They're fucking beautiful horns, and I like to think Rai's a big factor in Wyll learning to "live with" his horns and maybe eventually like them. Just a little bit. She loves his horns and she'll use any excuse in the book to get her hands all over them. At first she was offering to help him with the horn care because he really had no clue & asked her & Karlach for help (tho Karlach wasn't touchable at the time so Rai had to step up for the physical "here like this" demonstration and that's prolly where it started lol) then it became a little intimacy habit between them, he doesn't need her help anymore but he's not going to say "no" if she asks/offers, ya know? :3 (honourable mention to the time drunk Wyll at the Grove party complained very loudly about having "bumps and stuff where they absolutely should not be" because Rai's only reaction to that was "OOH~ 👀💖" hahaha)

Wyll: This might sound like a weird one, but probably her tail? Rai's very tail-expressive, if she doesn't force it to keep still by wrapping it around her own leg (or someone else *wink wink*) then it's ALWAYS moving around or giving away her emotions in some way! It started out innocent enough in that his eyes were automatically drawn to it because it moves around so much. Even despite growing up in Baldur's Gate for some time and thus being around a fair few tieflings (from my limited understanding of the lore and stuff thus far, don't lynch me hardcore fans, I've never played tabletop 5E or the other baldur's gate games lmao) he'd never met a tiefling that moved their tail so much until he met Rai. But now he can't help but stare when he thinks she isn't looking (she totally knows and does things with it on purpose sometimes just to tease him because she knows Wyll is staring. Rai and Karlach have a running (playfully ofc) bet going about how long it's going to take Wyll to figure out that she knows he stares, he hasn't figured it out just yet 😉 lol) Honourable mention for her eyes bc he thinks they're very pretty uwu and not at all for smutty eye-contact reasons cough I mean what

What was their last big fight? What did they learn from it? You get a two-for-one with this one bc the two fights are interconnected (pov: one half of your polycule gets into a pretty major lovers' tiff and the other half gets dragged into it as collateral damage anyway. Sorry boys lol )

Both these fights are also the focal plot beats for a Hurt/Comfort oneshot, but alas, I can't get away with being too vague with this or the reasons why it was a fight kinda don't match up with the "what they learned from it" in the 2nd part of the question, so just act surprised a while from now when I post the fic, ok? XD(I've got all the dialogues and whatnot plotted out now, just gotta convert it to written prose 🫶 ) This one ran away with me and got REALLY long, sorry (or you're welcome, I guess? lol)

Rai and Karlach: disclaimer: I know in-game it all kinda happens in the same convo but for some ~creative liberty~ (because I love me some good ol' Hurt/Comfort angst) I chopped the convo in half with the first bit happening before the fight (bc something Karlach says in the heat of the moment kicks it all off) and the latter half of Karlach realizing she does still want to live and is upset that she's still dying happening a couple days later, after the spat is resolved.

Karlach technically starts it after she hits out when they've killed Gortash but I wanna be clear when I say both of them are at fault for it. This is not only their biggest fight but also a powder-keg type of situation where things built up over time till they both exploded at eachother for different reasons, see below :

Karlach's very stubborn about not wanting to go back to Avernus at first - even into Act 3. Wyll and Rai ofc offer to go with her, but initially that doesn't help Karlach feel better. The worst thing she could possibly think of is putting two of the people she loves more than anything through the nightmare that is the Blood War. So when Rai keeps bringing it up and keeps pushing her about it, she snaps. Listen, I love Karlach a LOT and I think she means well, genuinely, and would never hurt her partner's feelings on purpose/maliciously. But she's a Yeller when she gets mad - and with Rai that is a BAD kind of mad to be. We see this in-game especially if you have her with you when you run into Gortash, and her heartbreaking meltdown after you kill him.

Logically, Rai knows the autonomy of getting to make that decision - to choose her freedom even if it means that it comes with death as an unwanted consequence - is important to Karlach, and if she was thinking logically at the time she would of course want to respect that. In theory. In practise however, it turned out "just sit there and watch me die" was not a line Rai was willing to draw. She gets pushy about Dammon's suggestion that they should take Karlach back to Avernus to stabilize her Engine, even when Karlach insists she's made her mind up and doesn't want to talk about it anymore. Rai keeps bringing it up over and over again, and insisting that she and Wyll would both go with her if it'd make it less scary for her, and just refuses to take "no" for an answer etc etc

By the time they kill Gortash and Karlach has her little meltdown she's just had enough of Rai throwing the suggestion into what feels like damn-near every conversation they've had since Dammon broke the news to them in Last Light. So she loses her temper and starts shouting before Rai can say it again.

And the thing about Rai is…she's emotionally reactionary. Whatever energy you give her, she'll bounce right back to you, she can't help it and hasn't quite figured out how to stop doing it at that point in time (though she does get better at it in the future!). If you keep your voice calm and level, she might growl and snap her teeth or smack her tail on something a little bit but eventually she'll match your energy and chill out to just talk about things. But if you yell and scream and shout and call her names? She's gonna yell, scream, and call you names back.

And that's exactly what happens. It's a huge miscommunication/misunderstanding between both of them. Karlach makes assumptions about Rai's past despite the fact that unlike Wyll and Dammon, she'd never really asked Rai about her childhood in Elturel or anything like that (again, I'll stress that I don't think this was done with deliberate malice, but I feel like being a little bit selfish is a realistic character flaw for Karlach to have. She's been through a lot and she gets tunnel-visioned on solving her own problems and when you pair that with Rai's brand of "too busy trying to fix everybody else to fix myself" trauma response and it's just an unfortunate combination. Rai never brought her own trauma up, and Karlach never thought to ask) So as a result, she thinks Rai "got lucky" not being in Elturel when it fell and that as a result, Rai is naïve and doesn't know "how bad" Avernus really was. Meanwhile, while she's certainly not as well-acquainted with it as Karlach and Dammon, Rai's not as ignorant as Karlach thinks. Her Mother Superior was a necromancy wizard, and one of Zariel's goons. The temple where Rai was "taken in" and raised was really just a front for training up either spellcasters or sword-fighters (depending on an individual's aptitude and uhh, the way they figured out where to funnel them was to use them as magical target practise until they either threw a spell back at their "tutors" or the staff agreed that it had been long enough and "they're too slow/useless at magic so idk just give them a sword I guess", basically - most of Rai's scars come from the early years where she was used as every other "student"'s magical punching bag, the rest are from Avarice's rituals, except for the one on the end of her tail which she got when Elturel came back and Rai didn't know the tieflings had been exiled so went back to try and look for Dammon, Rolan, Cal and Lia and ended up being attacked and driven off instead) to be ultimately sent to Avernus for Zariel to toss into the Blood War. She's been the unwilling participant in far too many necromancy rituals and while I haven't quite hammered out the full details of this yet, they were definitely not nice and she's definitely ended up looking some brand of devil or other in the eye before, during said rituals. I'm very much going for the angle of if Rai hadn't been assumed dead and left where she'd run off into the woods and she HAD been in Elturel when it went down? She'd have been just as fucked as Karlach was with Gortash. Straight to the Blood War with her, she would've been Infernal Engine prototype 2.0 and she and Karlach would've met fighting in the Blood War. Karlach doesn't know any of this, and thus makes a flippant off-hand comment that rubs the salt right into the open wound that is Rai's survivor's guilt without fully realising she's done it. Instead of staying to talk it out, Rai gets even angrier and storms off despite poor Wyll's best attempts to try and get between them and calm them down.

Dammon and Karlach: After Rai storms off, she finds herself going straight to Forge of the Nine. It's not a surprise really. She's known Dammon the longest and because Rai already felt bad that Wyll was in-between her and Karlach during their fight (they were having a screaming match in the middle of camp, it wasn't exactly quiet, or pretty D: ) she didn't want to make it worse for him by forcing him to pick a side, so Rai made the choice for Wyll and went to Dammon. Rai's so upset at first that Dammon's terrified Karlach's engine has exploded and Rai's here to tell him she's dead. When he finally calms her down enough for Rai to tell him what actually happened, he…doesn't feel that much better. He's too worried about Rai to go marching back to camp and confront Karlach himself, especially when she asks him "can I stay here tonight? I don't want to go back just yet". But he does stew (I like to think Dammon isn't one to get angry often. And even when he does he's not loud and shouty about it. It's more a broody, quiet, "give you the silent treatment" type of thing)

Karlach's the one, after she's calmed down, who ends up checking Dammon's place when the rest of the party split up the next morning to go looking for Rai after they realize she's still gone. Rai sleeps through Karlach's knocking (she had a hard night, did a lot of yelling/screaming and crying, ya girl passed tf out once Dammon wrangled her into a bath & then bed to sleep it off ;-; ) but Dammon doesn't. He tries to be patient with Karlach but when she starts posturing and growling and snapping at him, Dammon loses his temper right back. Again, he's not a Scream And Shout kind of angry but he is a "Do not raise your fucking voice at me!" kind of angry. It's a side of him that Karlach hasn't seen before and it stuns her so much that it shuts her right up, but Dammon keeps going. He ends up reading Karlach a bit of a riot act about how much, exactly, she'd hurt Rai's feelings because Rai was probably never going to admit it to Karlach herself and it gives Karlach some serious cause for self-reflection. Dammon and Karlach's fight only gets broken up when their back-and-forth finally gets through Rai's Sleepiness and she wakes up and stumbles down the stairs to find them mid-argument. Karlach feels so guilty when she locks eyes with Rai over Dammon's shoulder that she apologises on the spot, which leads to Rai apologising too and they work it out with a little bit of mutual encouragement from Dammon <3

As for what they learned from it: Rai defo gets the longest list but I'll do all 3 of them again bc why the hell not lol

Rai definitely learns to not let her emotions make her careless/less aware of her partners' feelings. As an orphan who was treated more like a tool/weapon by the main parental figure in her life (part of the reason, like Astarion and Karlach, that Astarion and Rai are besties. Cazador treated Astarion like a possession, Avarice raised Rai as a weapon and they're kindred spirits of sorts as a result despite Astarion complaining about Rai being "too nice" XD) for most of her formative years, Rai's emotional maturity very much comes from her stumbling face-first into the lessons/epiphanies herself lol

So she learns to be a bit less "keep my shit to myself but expect everyone to let me deal with their shit" and take up a bit more space/be a bit more communicative about her own trauma. "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you" and "Avernus fucking sucks and they're all haunted by it in some way or another" are the two overarching themes for Rai and her polycule 💖

She also learns to be a bit less impulsive. She ran off because she didn't want to force Wyll to "pick a side", but ended up doing exactly that to BOTH the boys, because she ran off first without thinking it through logically.

Karlach has a little "oh, shit" moment when Dammon sets her straight and she realizes that she never actually asked Rai anything about her time in Elturel or what it was like for her/why she danced around the subject. She just…made assumptions and didn't fact check or think that maybe her assumptions could've been wrong.

For my "version" of the story the snowball effect from this fight culminates in Karlach ultimately deciding that she doesn't want to die. She wants to LIVE. So when they get to the dock at the very end and Rai and Wyll tell her "we won't make the decision for you, but whatever you choose, we're with you". And she chooses Avernus in the end, because even though she's fucking terrified, the fact that after everything they've all been through with something from Avernus dogging their every effort to get away from it, both Rai and Wyll are still willing to go back too. For her. And if they can do it for her, then she can do it for them, and maybe buy Dammon enough time to figure out how to fix her heart for good. (I'm not crying you're crying /lh)

And she also learns that while she has a right to make her own decisions, she cannot presume to make those same decisions for anyone else in the polycule just because she thinks she's protecting them by doing it. She can make those decisions for herself, but she has to let them make theirs sometimes too, even if they're not the decision Karlach wanted them to make.

(honourable/slightly joke-y mention: "Don't piss off Dammon. He's scarier than any Raging barbarian when he's angry" lol)

Bonus Dammon, bc I love him and he's kinda a package deal with Rai /jk. Who gets to wrestle a little bit with guilt (it was his suggestion that snowballed into making his girls fight, after all ;-; ), the guilt from this fight is the straw that broke the camel's back in a biiiiiig pile of guilt he's been carrying around since Rai "disappeared" and he just believed Avarice when she said she was dead and never thought to try looking for her etc. He has to learn to make peace with it, before it starts eating him alive, sort of deal. ;3; Also feel like he gets a bit more comfortable with making his voice heard despite his general introverted nature. If he hadn't been a bit firmer with Karlach she might not have stayed quiet long enough to listen and the spat might've been a lot more drawn out than it ended up being so he gets a gold star for that hahaha

How do they react when the other is upset? How do they try to help?

Sorta-kinda talked about this one in question 10 with Rai and Dammon and Rai and Wyll so I'll do Rai and Karlach for this one! :3

I'd say it depends? Unlike Dammon who just gets angry but not necessarily violent, Rai and Karlach both have a tendency to get aggresisve/violent when the other one is hurt/upset. If its a specific person whose made them upset (and you know. it's not someone they already know/just a misunderstanding between friends) they will start threatening and even actually hurt the person responsible if they can get their hands on them. Be careful with upsetting the other one because you will have a homicidal tiefling on your ass and when she catches you she will rip you in half. Trust me on that one. If Wyll and/or Dammon can't talk her down.

When Raphael starts bothering Rai during the course of the game plot, Karlach has absolutely threatened to rip his face off if he dares lay a finger on Rai. This may or may not become foreshadowing, haven't written/planned anything that far ahead just yet so we'll see when/if I get there hahaha. If its just a general "someTHING happened and I am upset" the default is definitely cuddles. They're both absolute cuddle fiends, esp after Karlach's touchable again. If they're not busy adventuring or helping with camp chores they are huddled on a bedroll snuggling, but this is doubly true when one of them is upset because cuddle piles fix everything. "No you may not bother her until she decides she's done, unless you want IN the cuddle pile too then go ahead". You get the idea lolol

What values do they not share? How do they reconcile those differences?

Going with Rai and Dammon for this one bc they're the first ones that came to mind when I looked at this question!

Rai's definitely a warrior/soldier at heart. Fighting comes naturally to her, whether Dammon likes it or not (and assuming that she'd had a "normal" childhood and not been scooped up by Avarice, this would still be true. Just instead she would've probably ended up a Hellrider instead of an Acolyte). It doesn't mean that he's not going to worry, or freak out, when she charges into something dangerous. Especially because Dammon is the opposite. As I said earlier, I think he can fight, he just chooses not to because he doesn't like it.

From Rai's end, it works perfectly fine. She's never expecting Dammon to come with her into battle, she knows he hates it. But Dammon does worry. He's terrified that one day she'll leave for a battle and never come back. And he won't be there, it'll be Wyll and Karlach by themselves coming back to give him the bad news. Dammon doesn't think his heart can take it. He's definitely had panic attacks before because of worrying about Rai charging off into a fight, but he's had to make peace with the fact that it's in her blood and he can't stop her. A frequent exchange between them before Rai runs right into something dangerous is usually Dammon telling her "I don't need you to be a hero, I just need you to be alive and safe" ( D: ). But he has to learn to trust her when she responds with "I promise you, I am coming back. I'm coming home to you when it's over". The more times she does come back, the more he starts to believe it even if the worry doesn't ever completely go away </3.

Rai always makes sure to "check in" with him before and after a fight as a result. Because even if it seems silly to her, she knows Dammon needs to hear her say it. (Also I think once they end up in the closed polycule with Karlach and Wyll, and knowing that they're there to watch eachothers' backs helps Dammon's anxiety be a bit less bad!)

What's different about their backgrounds? Do those differences affect the relationship?

And again bc they were the first pair I thought of after looking at the question, Rai/Wyll ✨

Rai's an orphan, with the Acolyte background because she was raised in a temple in Elturel and the closest thing to a "parent" she ever had was her Mother Superior, Avarice (who is also a Bhaalspawn a.k.a canon-divergent Durge). Even then, Avarice was not at all nurturing past the absolute bare minimum and by that I mean "don't kill the child soldier before she's been put to use in the Blood War" kind of deal. She has no memory of her biological parents whatsoever and doesn't really even know what having parents feels like.

Wyll on the other hand at least has his dad. But as a result of her childhood, Rai doesn't really…understand, the father-son dynamic that Wyll and Ulder have because she never had anything even close to that in her formative years. She's never deliberately confrontational with Ulder but it definitely takes her a LONG time to warm up to him after Wyll tells her about how he ended up pacted with Mizora as a result of what went on between him and his dad. She doesn't want to make things difficult for Wyll (on purpose) or tell him he can't have a relationship with his father. But she definitely doesn't GET it for a good long while and I think that would definitely bleed over into her relationship with Wyll until she can work through it.

(also something to be said for the Nobility/essentially a street urchin class-gap possibly? But no immediate anecdotes come to mind as of typing this. Just that I think that def creates some differences of experience for them that I'll prolly expand upon/explore more as I write more for them! :D)

Who said "I love you" first?

Aaand for this one, I'mma do all the Tav(Rai) ships again, because I think they're all equally cute and I can't just do one sorry! :D So here we goooo, in no particular order ~

Rai and Dammon: Both, pretty much. As discussed in question 10, Rai and Dammon have known eachother pretty much their entire lives. Their "I love you" was a "both of them blurted it out at exactly the same time" deal. When Zevlor recognised Rai and thus let them into the grove, and she started milling around and reconnecting with old friends/acquaintances/found family from Elturel, it takes her a little while to come across Dammon because his makeshift forge is tucked so far into the back of where the tieflings are staying. And while he's close with the other tieflings, Dammon does prefer to keep to himself so when there's a commotion at the gate he doesn't think it's his place to go sticking his nose in. It's probably something to do with a fight, and ever since Avernus he doesn't want much to do with fighting anymore (I'm also a "Dammon is an introvert" truther. And while I think he can wield a sword I feel like he very much chooses not to. Avernus fucking sucked my dudes, and I don't think he enjoys being on or around a battlefield AT ALL after getting back, though he will craft/fix weapons, armour, shields etc for his friends and family and if it called for it (like helping protect the tiefling kiddos during the grove raid, or defending Moonrise with the Tadpole squad and the Harpers) he will pick up a sword and fight if he HAS to. But he'd very much rather not if he has the choice between fighting or not.)

Eventually, she wanders to the back where his forge is and suddenly Rai is hit with a wave of recognition when she catches sight of Dammon and realizes it's him. She ends up getting his attention by calling out to her and at that point he almost burns himself dropping the weapon he'd been putting through the coals because as far as Dammon thought, Rai had died during the fuss with Elturel and he couldn't believe she was here - cue them both almost strangling eachother with hugs, a lot of tears and a very rushed out "I love you" because with the way Rai was carting around looking for a way to get un-tadpoled, they had no idea if there would be a "next time" that they saw eachother alive again and "I need you to know". ;3;

Rai and Wyll: Wyll went first here, but only just. Rai and Wyll's "I love you" was very much both of them were waiting for the other one to say it first because they were worried it was Too Soon(tm) otherwise. Wyll was the one that cracked first and Rai said it back ahem I may also have a fic for this hence why this one is so short, I don't want to spoiler y'all before I'm done w/ the oneshot and that was that.

Rai and Karlach: Rai went first, she'd known she loved Karlach for a while (I'd even make a cheesy "love at first sight" argument for these two tbh lol). Post-Engine upgrade 2, Karlach had a good cry when she realized it had worked, and as she cuddled and comforted her a little "I love you" slipped out into Karlach's hair. Karlach wasn't too far behind, it pretty much went down how it does in-game after they finally get to go to bed on that same night because I just think her getting so excited and yelling "ILOVEYOUTOO!" back at Rai is so goddamn cute that I have to keep it in there ;3; ❤️

[hunter-sylvester]

Fic Writing Questions Tag

Thank you so much to @if-not-now-tell-me-when for tagging me 🤘

1. How many fics do you have on AO3? If we're excluding notfic/character analysis: 7 (otherwise 13)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 49,925 (52,689 if we're including notfic/character analysis)

3. What fandoms do you write for? -Metal Lords (primarily) -Stranger Things

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? (1) Infinitesimally small and unforgivably burdensome (Metal Lords) T (2) Does it get better? (Metal Lords/Stranger Things) M (3) Metal Things (Metal Lords/Stranger Things) M (4) Freak Doesn't Cut It (Stranger Things) M (5) Left Behind (Metal Lords) T

5. Do you respond to comments? I try to! I'm just really fucking bad at responding to compliments/kind words. I just freeze up & don't know what to say a lot of the time so it can take a lot of energy to write out a very mid response to a lovely comment 😔 but I do try.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Err...that's between Left Behind and Candy Apples & Razor Blades. The former is a ficlet/minific and it's just sorta sad. The latter has an angstier ending depending on how you interpret it, it's a little ambiguous in my mind but I don't think everybody even reads it as ambiguous so idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (unless we're counting the unpublished alternate ending I have written for Freak Doesn't Cut It because THEN IT'S THAT- but I'd only maybe publish that after the actual ending & I'm really fucking stuck with that fic so that's ages away if it ever gets posted)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Infinitesimally small and unforgivably burdensome. It's just pretty light overall. Altho I want to at least mention that I think Does it get better? ultimately ending on hope and healing is also a very happy ending in my book 🖤

8. Do you get hate on fics? Haven't so far, but maybe someday lol (hopefully not soon tho)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? No, not really. Vaguely heated make-out is as far as I tend to go.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I do, I've only really written Metal Lords/Stranger Things so I guess the "craziest" one would be Metal Things purely because of the crossover pairing nobody asked for (Hunter Sylvester x Steve Harrington.) But none of it's very crazy.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of and I kinda doubt anyone would want to lol (If someone ever did it's on sight tho 🔪)

12. Have you ever cowritten a fic before? No, and I honestly don't think that would work for me.

13. What’s your all time favourite ship? I'm not 100% sure, it's either Steddie or Spuffy. (I don't think I would ever write about the latter tho)

14. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I'm far too stubborn to accept defeat like that. I have a lot of WIPs that feel like behemoths to me but I'm going to finish them.

15. What are your writing strengths? UHM...I'm really not good at being positive about myself but I guesss I think in my opinion I'm decent at capturing the character's voices????????? maybe

16. What are your writing weaknesses? I think I sometimes over-assume that people will understand my intention behind a scene. Also if there's too many characters I can't keep track of them anymore. And the fact that I dropped out of school at 14/15 occasionally becomes an issue. Having learned English almost entirely on feeling/by osmosis and thus not always knowing the actual rules. Of...yaknow...grammar.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I'd shy away from it if I didn't speak the language fluently and I can't think of a reason I would ever want to involve my native language in a fic. Besides that I only speak English so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

18. First fandom you wrote for? Publicly it's Metal Lords/Stranger Things. Privately it's actually the infamous [REDACTED]

19. Favourite fic you’ve written? It HAS to be Does it get better? DIGB was my baby for the better part of this past year and it contains a lot of my favorite headcanons about the featured characters. Some examples: - FtM Hunter Sylvester - Eddie Munson gives the BEST hugs - Hunter is a walking ball of anxiety (altho that is practically canon)

As well as a lot of moments/scenes that I hold very very dear. Some examples: - Kev & Hunter laying on Hunter's bed and just talking in ch5 - Eddie helping Drunk!Hunter take his jewelry & shoes off and just talking to him in ch8 (altho I could just list ch8 as a whole tbh) - The entirety of ch3 basically lmao

There's stuff I can and do criticize about DIGB in retrospect but ultimately it's still very precious to me.

No pressure tag: @itsfreakingbats, @anything-thats-rock-and-roll, @ghostcaterwaul, @allmoshnobrain, @nemobeatrice + anyone who wants to. Just do it. Be free.

[cheemken]

Knight I know you’ve already given us lots of Unova Kids headcanons but do you have any more to share? Or headcanons about anyone?

Also just a small stupid headcanon I came up with last night; Iris most definitely got canceled on Twitter (Chatot? Chatotter??) at least once. It was because a video of her making fun of gay people surfaced, she was making fun of Hilbert and Cheren

Mostly Hilbert

She would tho😭😭🤣 she won't make an apology video too, she'd even tag Cheren and Hilbert and go "I'm not wrong, that is my truth" and goes offline for like two years before posting "I'm still not wrong, these two are annoying"

Idk I imagine her posting stuff like "man I wish lesbians are real😔" while adding a picture of Bianca doing field work hahaha then Hilda reposts it with "world cruel, no lesbians near us, only these stupid gay men" with a picture of Hilbert and Cheren. Hilda also got cancelled

These mfers would be so insufferable online tho, Hilbert and Iris especially

Iris posts a pic of her Haxorus and Hilbert reposts w Emboar and Iris just goes "bitch get off my post"

"let me appreciate my pokemon too"

"mfer make your own post💀"

N doesn't know how all this works he posts blurry pics of himself and his pokemon he's like Unova's local cryptid at this point. He posts a blurry ass pic of Zorua and he has a caption of "hckdndk"

Everyone's all "????" Then Hilda reposts with "sorry, Zoru got his phone✌️"

Bianca would have like, an official account tho, verified or smth idk how twitter works, and she's like, posting stuff about pokemon, writing about their origins to live up Juniper's legacy but also adding her own research. Mostly it's just pictures of her pokemon tho hahah I do wanna say she has a private account where she posts pics of her friends and her mons, even the three dragons being all soft and sweet

Cheren also posts random pkmn facts too let's be real, Hilbert would always be the first one to like those posts but he doesn't reposts them telling Cheren "sorry babe, doesn't fit my blog theme"

Look, I believe the twins and Iris are so so so updated with every drama on the pkmn equivalent of twitter, I just know they are, didn't help that Iris was close with Diantha and Diantha has a ton of gossip in regards with famous people too, they would update their lil friend group about all the tea they got and N is so fucking confused please this boy is not made for the internet

Also for real tho, I know at one point Iris posts a group pic of them for the clout and bc she loves her friends and wanted to show em off. One girl reposts it with "who's that guy with the green hair, is he single🤭"

Hilda jokingly responds with "back off, he's my boyfriend"

"aren't you gay?"

"are you assuming his gender?"

N gets a lot of fans tho real, a lot of peeps were messaging Iris who N was and she just responds with "Hilda's cryptid boyfriend" N doesn't even know what's going on anymore please someone tell him why he's a cryptid and he's suddenly Hilda's boyfriend he thought Hilda likes women not men he's so confused man Zorua knows more about socmed than him everyone's so fucking sure it's actually Zorua that's handling N's twt account hahahah

[inkdemon-whore]

yo

al/alex/alta | adult | he/him it/its (trying these out) | aspec multi fandom/fandom hopper | proship | atheistic satanist (the 7 tenets)

tw tag list: mostly for the batim/batdr au, but also includes most tw tags i use

archived blogs: @the-core-archive | @alta-2016-2018 | @alta-2018-2020 | @saved-as-jpeg (&lt;<< for REALLY old art, saved because i like looking at how much i've grown as an artist, maybe it'll inspire someone to start/keep drawin, idk. warning, cringe child art from 2005-ish)

active-ish blogs/sites: @inkdemonslament (ask/story telling blog) | @altadud (reblogs, nothing gets tagged. asked santa if i could have an "e" for x-mas, so url might change soon) | ao3 (not super active and don't really know how it works)

tumblr bday: may 15th, 2015

as an scp, i'm classed as safe. the foundation has locked me here for years. my art on the other hand, is keter and breaches containment constantly.

getting more blue checkmarks any time i see a post bitching about them naturally on my dash. i will not buy more just cuz you send an ask ragging on them. i'm stupid, but i ain't that stupid.

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fandoms i'm in, or more accurately, stuff i like. red is what i'm makin art for at the moment/my current hyper fixation.

pokemon (drawn stuff for)

sonic (old art, can't be found anymore)

a monster in paris (old art, can't be found anymore)

undertale/deltarune (drawn stuff for)

BATIM/BATDR (drawn stuff for) [currently doin an au for this, tag is "daddy ink demon au". post to catch you up/tell ya what it is -1- -2-. or just bioshock big daddy but it's ink bendy and an early version of audrey] {making a master list}

steven universe (drawn stuff for)

dream smp (drawn stuff for)

hermitcraft

fnaf (drawn stuff for)

fnf (drawn stuff for)

ddlc

OFF by mortil ghost

yume niki

centaurworld (drawn stuff for)

encanto (drawn stuff for)

mystery skulls animated (drawn stuff for)

the girl from the other side (drawn stuff for)

spooky month (drawn stuff for)

the stanley parable/tspud

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tiny faq:

can i make fanart/fanfics based on your stuff?

yes yes yes yes yes -grabby hands- please do, i love seein that stuff. you can @ me, send it as a gift on ao3, or put it in my sub box. also just be sure to link back to me in some way (such as an @ or linking my blog)

can i dub your comics?

oh FUCK YES!! go for it n send it to me, i wanna see!!

can i use your art as an icon?

yee sure, just link back to me.

you're proship?

yea, if i'm shipping the character's i'll tag it with "tw ship" or "proship". if ya don't see that tag, it's not a ship. i don't do discourse/fandom wank, i'm just the art guy. if ya wanna know more, read the carrd linked above, or go to @/sl-ug's blog as a starting point (they're workin on a paper, i think it's neat)

nsfw?

here? other than suggestive stuff and jokes, no, not really. i have things tagged for blacklist though, being #nsfw and #nude/#nudity. old post won't be put under the new filter thing unless it gets flagged (mostly cuz i'm lazy), but newer post will. if you're askin about an alt.... -coughs-

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might update this every now and then.