#fuck it imma gonna go wild with this one

[cinna-bunnie]

i just finished iron blooded orphans and need to lay down for a bit

[sherewrytes]

Ms. Good Grip

Inspired by this song

If you know you know. If you don't know how you know. Wanted to drop a fic with a more Caribbean inspo.

C.W : smut, Caribbean dialect, overstimulation, Caribbean black reader. Dom ony. Y/N be actin out

Your fav cousin wedding reception was in full swing. Drinks pouring, shots passing, weed smoke in the air all elders already left. You knew your boyfriend Ony wasn't used to Caribbean style parties. The pacing was completely from the usual parties he's used to. He was faded and tipsy, hands gripping your hips catching every whine you threw his way. You were completely bent over, if it wasn`t for your updo your hair would be touching the floor with how far you were bent over. You both took a break from dancing to get some drinks and more food before everyone's greedy ass ate it all up.

The song changed to Alkaline's on Fleek. As soon as you heard,

Whooo gyal yo pum, pum Gyal, yuh pum pum, Gyal, yuh pum pum on fleek.

You joined your other wild ass cousins in the dance circle and began whining. You made sure to position yourself right in front of Ony. You were secretly putting on all this show for him. All the weed and drinks had you wanting him. He looked so good in his semi casual fit You whined slowly at first slowly going lower to match the intro of the song staring him dead in his eyes while he smoked a joint with a bottle of Stag beer in his hand. His shades resting slightly lower on his nose. You watch him beckon you over with a finger, but you ignored him only because you loved riling him up at times, it makes the sex better.

You felt a hand grip your waist; you knew instantly it wasn't Ony's, but you decided to give the guy a lil dance. You cousin Shanice side eyed know mothing " Aye, you always lookin' for problems. You know how Ony's gonna react." You laughed saying "Oh well, small thing."

(Small thing- Trini slang for No big deal)

You heard the Dj scratch and the song changed to Spice's Jim Screechie

You were singing the song loud and clear while throwing it back on the random guy.

"And your gyal a watch you hard, but me no matter that Hold me tight and don't let me go Whine with me and me a whine with you"

You were giving him a wicked whine knowing for a fact that kinda whining is reserved for Ony but you thought "Oh well." The guy had one hand on your hips pulling you back against his hips while almost dry fuckin you on the makeshift dance floor. You felt a hand grab your wrist and pulled you. You looked up and saw it was Ony pulling you off the makeshift dance floor away from everyone.

"You got me fucked up; you know that. Are you goin out of your head or sum." Ony said his voice gruff with annoyance. You on the other hand were turned on by hearin' him this way. You smirked "It's just a dance Ony. I know you're suffering from not accustom. You bein' a black American I know you won't know much about my culture and shit."

You watch Ony's eye widen with annoyance "Oh really, you really wanna go that route with me. Imma give you a last chance to take that shit back." You rolled your eyes and giggled. "Still just a lil dance Ony." You attempted to walk away big mistake.

You knew it was your fault you were now in this situation. Your hands pressed and pinned against the toilet door with your back arched. Ony was feeding deep, hard strokes. You had to way to move, one of his hands pinned your hands against the door while the other was between your spread thighs rubbing your clit.

You felt your wetness run down your thigh, you were making a mess of yourself. You were coming again. You were pleading with him to take it easy on you "Ony 'm sor-sorry...please I can't"

"Nah, you can't, you weren't whining out there on him like you couldn't so nah you gon' take this dick. It's what you wanted right."

You were panting, moaning moaning his name as fucked you harder. You were now pressed against the door, his hand now pressed against the side of your neck. Between the hard slaps of his hips against yours and the song blaring in the background, you were losing your mind. You came twice already and feeling the third one fast approaching. He was rubbing your twitching clit. Rubbing so fast, your squirt was coming out faster than you realized. Your lust filled sobs were shaking your body and his, it only made him want to fuck you harder.

"Ony! Ony! Ouuu fuck I'm sorry 'm sorry please please please slow down." He stopped only to turn you over so you can be face to face as he lifted you up and pinned your back against the door again. You were both face to face. Ony's eyed still red from smoking.

"You always tryna test me and push me Y/N huh. You don't fuckin listen....actin up and showin out for WHO. that dude..playin' too much."

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as your stomach clenched, you saw Ony smirk and slid his hand between both of your bodies and press down on your stomach. Your eyes widen while tears brimmed the corner. "Ouuu fuck! shit Ony..didn't mean to do it. why you fuckin me like this."

Ony tried to reign in his anger but her couldn't he felt it coming back, only pushing him to thrust deeper and harder "Don't play dumb with me Y/N you know I'm actin' like this."

Between Ony tearin your shit up and the music thumping in the background, you were close to another orgasm, tears now running down your face. Ony's hips practically pinning you between him and the door. Ony leaned in and kissed your tears away.

Ony finds your silence a bit annoying. After what felt like minutes, his hand gripped your throat. Through your teary eyes you could see you pushed Ony a bit to far but then again he knew how you were. He loved you for it.

Ony felt your body shivering against his. He kept feeding you deep, hard strokes which you were sure if the music wasn't loud as fuck everyone could hear. He felt his vexation simmering in his veins.

"Ony..please..I love you. I...Ony!" you pleaded. Ony rolled his eyes tired of hearing the same things over and over again come out of your mouth.

"Nah, love me, that's crazy Y/N. Do you really love me Y/N?" "I do Ony! I do. I won't do this shit again I swear...just.."

You were gripping around his dick so tightly he could feel his balls twitching and he fucked you against the door harder. He knew you loved pushing his buttons as much as you loved him. he wrapped your legs tighter around his hips, trying to go deep as he possibly can. You were so overstimulated you were shaking while pressed between the door and him.

"Fuck Y/N you're squeezin' me Gonna nut" you felt him fill you up groaning into your ear. You knew the amount he just came in you would leak out.

Ony sat you on the bathroom counter, helped you clean up then he cleaned up himself. You cleaned your face with make up wipes you had in your bag and reapplied your make up Ony smirked "You gon behave now my love" "Yes Ony I will"

You went back out the wedding party holding hands and smiling.

[thatdeadaquarius]

Topic: Genshin impact.

au: Sagau.

idea: So what if you had the powers of every character you played as in every game you played and then get isekaid into genshin impact with imposter au. I imagine it goes smth like

Zhongli: “I will have order!”

reader, Who played Roblox as someone who lagged the game (explanation: I’m pretty sure ping is also how time works in games. If you can control the flow of ping you can control the flow of time in games.): “ZA WARUDO!”

Heyyy!! Thanks for waiting for the reply/response from my slow ass :0

So they did clarify what they meant/expand so imma just copy paste that here!

“k now I remember. So basically imma write it here since it’s easier: Basically you don’t have to (but you can) transform into the character that has those set of powers but if you do those powers are enhanced.”

Sun: Reader (”you”/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, Light Imposter AU (as in, NOT Yandere/Dark), mild crossover elements bc Shapeshifter Shenanigans™️

Stars: bro idek

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing, genshin typical mild violence, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

so fair warning,, ive never seen jojo bizarre, but i appreciate i come off well-read/watched? LMAO

so im just gonna kinda,, guess? like just cycle thru diff. random media, and im hoping both me and you reading this will have a fun time (as this is a little challenge, but i like it so ill give it a shot, dont kno if its a good one but- 😅)

so to set the scene, of how u got to this point, ykno of running like ur life (maybe?) depends on u running around different teyvat countries,

u thought it was weird everyone knew a little too much about you?? (ofc theyve heard u during gaming, they know u the same way we all know Markiplier, get it?)

then a bunch of NPCs/Vision users/Archons?? were REALLY invested in talking to you, which freaked u out even more

and by the time you saw Zhongli, yknow, just the oldest god in game, making a fast-walk towards you, ykno the retired god who didnt move an inch when an old water god attacked Liyue for a test, is now hurrying to you???

ur logically get so fucking scared sm shits abt to go down, u just start running

it isnt until ur reaching for a ledge and some webbing shoots out of ur arm (from a glitchy little spot on ur arm, where it could be coming out of ur skin, but sometimes its a blue and red bracelet)

it latched onto the nearest building, and thats how u find out u can grapple ur way, literally Spiderman style, out of the harbor

and bro, idk if it would be fun, or confusing and stressful, or maybe both?? to just find out u can use any video game power from any game youve played before as you go running from countries bc for some freaky reason they know too much abt you/are pursuing you-

dUDE- they had small statues of you in like every little section of their cities

u head to Mondstadt and as Venti comes screaming and flying at you (in excitement, but ur freaked), u go to hold a hand up and suddenly ur holding a heavy stone tablet that unleashes some holographic yellow chains that freeze him in place-?? why is this familiar-

oh my god u have the sheikah slate from Breath of the Wild,

and as ur booking it out of there, u manage to get ahold of a sword, and u know exactly how to use it to knock back favonius knights trying to stop you (they are concerned for their god who is just unleashing random powers on ppl, pls let Grandmaster Jean just talk to you Your Majesty-!!)

by the time you teleport ur way to Inazuma, (bc u still have this worlds access to ur player/traveler’s powers), ur trying to find a nice place to stay for a little bit

at least in that sweet spot of the Raiden not noticing/finding you, while things cool down on the main continent, before moving on,

and u get some tools to help fashion just a little shelter, bc u dont have any money/mora rn, and ur able to literally build a house???

a mailbox pops up and thanks you for renting with Tom Nook???? As in Animal Crossing-

and rlly if the BOTW/slate thing didnt clue u into video game powers, then this definitely would tbh lmao

right as u see Yae Miko circling ur house, with an armful of books? ..is she planning to thru them at you??, u get the hell out of dodge before her favorite god can follow along

(she knows ur prefrences in books and got authors/trends to start so youd have plenty to read, and she was making sure it was ur house before politely dropping them off! how was she to know thatd spook their favorite God, Ei?!)

u get to Sumeru and think ur safe, hiding in an abandoned forest watcher outpost (1 person treehouse rlly) when Nahida shows up in ur dreams,

and u just,

walk out of the dream, into reality, and possess a nearby ruin guard so u can sleep in peace, bc she cant access a robot,

that one baffled u as you re-possessed ur own body before realizing-

Five Nights at Freddy’s. 💀

U cant do that forever, so u try Fontaine, hoping Neuvillette/Furina wont rlly give af abt you, plus theyre the latest region, so maybe they have the least exposure to whatever the other archons didnt like abt you??

u get there and are immediately summoned to court, and right as the mekas show up to escort you, jfc they have a mecha army

(meanwhile, theyre thinking, yknow. high profile guest/our god of gods. ofc we need state of the art mekas to escort them, its only polite-)

meanwhile ur cape has now become wings, and a mask covers ur face as you glide and fly ur way over the city in an attempt to get to where u assume Snezhnaya is

it doesnt occur to you the game until ur running out of stamnia and catch ur reflection in the waters of fontaine, Sky: Children of the Light

u hope the Tsaritsa’s dislike for other gods/Celestia doesnt extend to ur otherworldly presence so ur just hoping for the best atp tbh

tbh youd forget what all powers you have, and the absolute chaos ur causing urself as u try to desperately rememeber what games youve played thru ur entire life is NOT helping to reduce confusion when u randomly wake up with elf ears (legend of zelda/botw) or get dragged into another ruin machine when u fall asleep/faint/do smth u guess mimics death lmao- (fnaf) 💀

…

(meanwhile the Tsaritsa does get wind ur coming this way, and just, makes the people have a parade/festival to celebrate you coming,

she did also have to get Pierro/Captaino to physically restrain some of them from going ahead to meet/escort you to the palace, she’d heard how the others scared u off, and was, ironically, hoping the warm welcome would clear things up)

☆

well that was, something. 😃🫠

sorry lil car, that was such a fun idea idk if i did it justice!! i thought itd be too op to include every media youve consumed ever, so i kept it to video games, (which, could u cheat the system if youve played smash bros??)

i hope it was at least a decent read, and sorry im half asleep so i was not v funny this time around, but, again, hope u got smth out of it 😭

</3

on another note, im having my wisdom teeth surgery this friday, send whatever u got my way, prayers, blessings, good vibes, ill take anything im nervous 🙃

have a good week guys!

Safe Travels Lil Car,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue

If ur tag doesnt work, pls check ur settings to see if ur a "searchable blog"!! Its not the same as the Ai selling data thing.

[l0sercat]

Chishiya from Alice in Borderland please 🥺

Chishiya NSFW alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Since we are talking about the Netflix adaptation and not manga he would d some aftercare. Just a little like getting you a glass of water.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves his mouth. Not only can he make you squirm with it but when he flashes you a grin it makes you melt. He likes your hair, he just loves to play with it when you rest your head in his lap.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He doesn't like messes a lot so he prefers to cum in you. Doesn't matter if it's your mouth or hole. Sometimes he might cum on your chest or back but it bugs him a bit.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He secretly has fantasies of him and Arisu fucking you. Chishiya hitting from the back while Arisu fucks your mouth. It's a little fanon ikik but hear me out..

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

I'm gonna say he only fucked 1-2 people and it wasn't even passionate. So he has hardly any experience but he knows a lot about the body. Plus he's pretty confident can please you.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Missionary. He can see your face while you moan out his name.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He's more serious. Need I say more.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

So imma go out on a limb here and say he's a bit bushy. He keeps it nice and tame but he doesn't care about shaving. It doesn't bug him and it's a waste of his time. But once every 5 months he shaves it all off.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He's not really romantic but if you want he can try to be. He'll succeed dw

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Only jerked off once or twice. He just comes to you or just ignores his boner.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Anything where your submissive. He's not opposed to tying you.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Anywhere with privacy.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you needing him. Relying on him in diamond games. Practically attached to him and trusting your life with him. Definitely more manga Chishiya sorry..

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Being tied up. He doesn't find it pleasurable or enjoyable.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

I can't decide but honestly imma say receiving. But he is semi-skilled at oral and as much as he loves your cum the mess bugs him.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

I really can't decide. I'm gonna have to say s mix of both most of the time. But sometimes when he gets possessive he gets rough and fast.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He doesn't mind quickies. You guys have them often.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He okay with experimenting as long as it isn't super messy. He doesn't really take risks to often.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He can last 4-5 rounds 7 if he has a lot of stamina.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Nohe doesn't own toys or want to use them on him but hear me out... he'll use some on you...

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He teases you a lot in a condescending kinda way.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He's not loud but sometimes because he knows it turn you on he'll whine in your ear. But most of the time he'll groan and moan but it's quiet

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

I'm gonna say he can be possessive. He see's you taking with Niragi and he's grabbing you by the arm and fucking you in the nearest room.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He's thick that when you wrap your hand around him your hand doesn't fully cover him. He's 5 and a half inches long.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Not that high. It's hardly there lol. Although I do wanna write a fic where he is super horny, maybe he ate something with a aphrodisiac in it...>:))))

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He sometimes falls asleep after 30-45 minutes after fucking you. But sometimes he doesn't fall asleep at all and you have you snuggle/cuddle with him.

[krewekreep]

So the case of Nigga Eren/ Black coded characters in fanfic is getting WILD. Now as someone who was on tumblr when people would lowkey get weird if you asked for a race specific fic NOW it’s like because of that lapse in representation and the new wave of tumblr, there’s this overcompensation online for Black users to feel seen and build community. Sometimes I wonder if the writers know how to even write a fanfic (not because they are bad 🫤 but the fact a lot of them just seem like self insert smut) ((arguably that’s all smut on here but still work with me)

As a tumblr user in my 20s with an account over ten years old, I feel like I can kinda Grandma the situation. Both sides have a point which is why the arguing isn’t going anywhere. I believe Black women can be attracted to negative, toxic masculinity. (I personally don’t read alot of x black reader fics cause it’s just not what I like or how I get down in real life). These characterizations bleed a bit too into the real world where these traits and ways are very unhealthy, toxic, and unsafe.

“ITS FAN FICTION.” Bitch I don’t really care and watch who you talking to…

Both sides tryna have an absolute opinion is really annoying and y’all lowkey making Black centric fanfic an annoying community. 1. Yes, we all can ignore what we don’t like 2. Yes, there’s WAYYYY too much toxic nigga coded material to even get to something someone DOES LIKE 3. Whatever your age it’s okay to say I’m attracted to toxic behavior AND like to express it in writing. 4. If you don’t like it it’s okay to have a critique. But y’all blowing the Fuck outta me now 😂

Now imma lowkey be a little mean. NO no one wants to read a hood/ghetto coded White dude or Asian. It’s lame in real life, it’s lame online. Whatever YOU like (as a black person) IS ON YOU. Im not into Wiggas and Chiggas though. And as someone who identifies as hood or from that upbringing it’s a bit *anti-Black* to see every characterization of a MALE is black coded and unnecessarily controlling, possessive, RUDE, inappropriately horny etc. Like you are using REAL LIFE IDEAS OF PEOPLE to get your rocks off…take accountability for how that OBJECTIVELY looks…

All in all TBH enjoy what you want but nothing in life has EVER said what you like, what you do, and how you do it can’t be criticized. And I personally resent Black women who are not of a certain experience and obsess or fetishize men of their own race who simply come from a different lived experience (+ having an accent yall also fetishize) it’s weird…

You can be black and be a part of the problem, y’all not gonna stop cause you don’t ACTUALLY care but imma add my lil two cents…

[have-kake]

Big Brother [2/3]

Three instances of big brother instincts within the chain. [Ao3 Link]

[Part 1: Wind] [Part 2: Twilight] [Part 3: Warriors]

Twilight pauses when he thinks he hears shouting. He's far from camp, and he can't usually hear the others from this far. He quickly changes directions and starts back. If monsters showed up, he'd rather be a part of the fight than find out he missed the entire thing.

The shouting gets clearer the closer he gets. He's careful to keep quiet as he hurries along. The last thing he needs is for any potential enemies to hear him.

"You don't need to know how to read to work a fucking map!!" Legend practically roars.

Twilight stumbles to a halt in his surprise.

Wild screams his own retort back.

Twilight runs a hand over his face with a long sigh. Of course they're arguing over how to travel. When do they not argue about how to travel?

He doesn't bother rushing for the rest of the walk back. They're screaming at each other, but it doesn't seem all that serious yet either.

He stops at the edge of camp where he can get a good look at them. He's not surprised to see Legend and Wild squaring up, but he is surprised to see Hyrule doing the same. He even seems to be on Wild's side too.

He looks around the camp to see where the others are. Sky and Four are both gone. Wind sits with Wars and they're both snickering at the arguing trio. And Time is doing a wonderful job at ignore everything.

He lets out a weary sigh. How did he end up being the only adult in the group? He's not even part of the oldest three! Yet he always gets stuck breaking up the stupid fights.

Hyrule and Wind play with a chuchu from Wild's era? Time's there to glare at all of them in disappointment.

Everyone places bets on whether Four can win against a like-like in tug-of-war? Time's there to lecture everyone and glare at them in disappointment.

Four and Wild nearly come to blows over what a tomato is? Twilight's there to calm them down.

Legend and Sky start fighting over religion and which Goddesses are real? Twilight's there to separate them.

Wild and Hyrule gang up on Legend about how to travel? Twilight's left to resolve the issue.

"That's soundin' like a pretty serious argument y'all are having," Twilight comments as he steps up to the trio. Instantly all three of them start shouting again as they try to talk over one another to give their side of the story first.

Normally, Twilight doesn't mind. He's used to breaking up arguments and fights between the kids in the his village. But these are grown adults! And none of the other adults bother to do shit!

Without warning, he hits all three of them on the head. "Shut up!" He snaps.

Hyrule falls silent in shock. Legend just crosses his arms with a huff. Wild tries to talk back, but a glare has him backing down.

"Y'all gettin this fight every other day!" He snaps. He doesn't even care about how the others are gonna pick on his accent. "I am sick 'n tired of hearin' it!"

"Then go somewhere else!" Wild yells as Hyrule tries to blame Legend for something.

Twilight reaches out and grabs both of them. He picks them up with ease. He makes sure to hold them extra tight so they don't slip free and so it's uncomfortable.

Legend snorts.

Twilight glares at him and the vet immediately falls silent.

Wild tries to break free so he tightens his grip, and he keeps tightening until Wild starts yelling. "Okay, stop, stop! That hurts!" He shouts finally stopping his struggle.

Twilight stops tightening his grip, but he doesn't loosen it either. "If I gotta hear this stupid dang fight one more time!" He threatens. "Imma rat the three o' y'all to Time!"

That seems to get the Old Man's attention.

Legend narrows his eyes up at Twilight. "You wouldn't," he whispers.

"Watch me," he looks away to find Time watching them carefully. "Hey, Old Man, y'ever wonder how yer fancy shoulder armor got all chewed up?"

Legend's eyes widen comically wide. Twilight would laugh if he wasn't so annoyed. He has to fix his hold on Hyrule as the poor boy also tenses. Two birds with one stone.

Time's single eye narrows. "Yes," he says slowly. "As a matter of fact, I do."

Twilight turns back to Legend with a triumphant smirk. He even focus on the two in his arms for good measure. Can't let Time know for sure who did it.

"Or maybe I'll tell Sky which o' y'all spilled that weird gunk on the Master Sword," Twilight continues feeling Wild and Hyrule flinch. "Or Wars who tore up his scarf." The scarf had actually been Four, but having the Captain's attention increase the tension helps.

"Okay, okay! We'll stop!" Wild says.

Hyrule's quick to nod along. "No more fighting! Got it!"

Twilight lets go abruptly. Hyrule tries to catch himself, but still ends up with a mouthful of dirt. Wild doesn't even bother trying and just flops to the ground with a quiet grunt.

He waits until they've picked themselves up to cross his arms. "Well?"

"Sorry, Twilight," they say with varying degrees of reluctance.

"I ain't the one y'all should be apologizin' to," though he does appreciate it.

Legend and Wild grumble while Hyrule simply shuffles in place.

"I'm waiting."

Hyrule sighs. "Sorry, Legend."

"Yeah, sorry," Wild adds.

Legend huffs. "I'm sorry, too, I guess."

Twilight claps both Legend and Wild on the shoulder. He smiles at the way they both jump. "See, that ain't so hard."

The three of them disperse and wander to different parts of the camp. Twilight sighs and makes his way over to the fire. There goes his plans to transform for a few hours. He's too exhausted to even think of running around. Shame he can't take them out to chop wood. Like Fado liked to say: you got energy to fight, you got energy to work! 

Wind snickers as he walks by. "Looks like even big brother Twilight has his limits," he stage whispers to Wars who snorts.

Twilight stops to raise an eyebrow at both of them. "Y'all two fixin' to join in?"

Wars and Wind both hold up their hands. "Nope, we're all good," Wars says.

"What he said," Wind agrees.

He ignores them and goes to take a seat. He lets out a long breath as he gets settled.

Time leans over to him. "Who was it?"

"Hm?"

"Who messed up my pauldron?"

"Dunno what you're talking 'bout," he replies.

Time frowns. "But you said–?"

"And they stopped," he shrugs, "so s'far as I'm concerned, I dunno what you're talkin' bout."

Wars laughs. "A true brother's honor!"

Some time later, Sky finally wanders into camp. He looks around and raises an eyebrow at Four and Wild as they cook. "Did they finally finish fighting?"

Twilight glares at him.

Wind leans forward from his spot by Time. "You should've seen it!" He says excitedly. "Twi really let 'em have it!"

"He went full farm boy on them, too," Warriors adds. "Thick accent and all!"

Sky looks surprised as he takes a seat next to Warriors. "Really?"

Twilight's still glaring at him. "And where were you?" He asks. "You were supposed to be watchin' the camp with Wars 'n the Old Man."

"The fighting was getting annoying, so I went for a walk," he shrugs.

Twilight simply nods.

--

In the morning when they head out on the road again, Twilight lets Legend know Sky's the one who accidentally dumped his pack a few days ago. He leaves to scout ahead just as Legend starts shouting. Maybe one day Sky will act his age. Until then, Twilight will keep treating him like one of the kids from the village too.

[p4nishers]

vimes realizing he's in love with vetinari. now that. hmm. listen. how long it took for him to ACTUALLY fall in love with sybil? oh he liked her, he loved her SO much, but he wasn't IN love with her till jingo. he just thought he was in love. (that doesn't mean he loved her any less or that their love is any less, it means he didn't know her, didn't really have the time for her till he made it so. till he wanted it. really, truly wanted it.) but what would it take for vimes to realizes he's in love with vetinari? well, to be honest with you, not one damn fucking thing. like vetinari's is quite literally the thing he's the MOST stubborn about. he only starts to begrudgingly like him in fucking THUD! that's the SEVENTH book in the watch series. like my man is NOT here to play about his feelings (or, what he'd like to think, the lack thereof) for vetinari. so, what would it TAKE??

another attempt on vetinari's life? this time a SERIOUS one? or vetinari ACTIVELY saving someone sam loves? like young sam? would that. would that ever happen and how would vimes feel about it?? or would it be bc of some kind of jealousy?? or or or OR WHAT

like this is driving me insane i cant fucking figure it out bc there's no universe for me where sam vimes isn't freakishly in love with his boss but how the actual FUCK does that happen and how do i get it thru his thick skull that it's happening??? HOW

what if they like go on ambassador shit together like idk to lancre (bc this is me we're talking abt what did u expect of COURSE imma bring the old women into this) (listen. yes vetinari wouldn't ever go bc why tf would he that's why he has fucking ambassadors and VIMES but. just give me this one thing please and thank you) and sybil outright refuses to go bc sam i have Things to Take Care Of and and you can jolly well run along and do your job and and and. right. yup. go on (she wants them to spent time together for fuck's sake what will it TAKE for them to stop this bloody silly dance already she is so so so tired of toxic yaoi. give her a break) and so they go and sam is perpetually angry bc his Emotional Support Wife basically kicked him out of the house and now he has to endure this bloody fucking trip with his boss who he has Feelings that he would rather not think about and vetinari keeps bloody smiling and being bloody cheerful and bloody handsome in the sunlight and– nope. Not Gonna Go There.

so anyway they arrive whatever it's fine but obviously there was some misunderstanding some (willful) spelling error on vetinari's part and turns out everyone thinks the patriarch and his HUSBAND came to the princess's wedding which is. fine. totally and utterly fine. everyone is suupper normal about it. especially since esme is marrying A Girl. wild, right? so you can imagine how vimes is feeling. how many walls has he punched? who knows we can never know (none bc vetinari Raised His Eyebrows and he had to settle for kicking a few trees and almost rolling down the mountain. Gracefully, of course).

obviously there's the There Was Only One Bed trope. obviously there's victorian woman having gay thoughts for the first time yearning (repressed). of course there's the beast (repressed. for now). of course there's a moonlight conversation which inevitably leads to the Slight Softening of Sam Vimes's Heart and the next day which turns out to be Sam Vimes's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day. it's the evening before the wedding. a party. with nobs. and idiotic clothes and vetinari and stares and nosy witches and vetinari and awkward conversations and vetinari and vetinari asking (ordering) him to dance and oh shit oh fuck oh what the bloody shit is this why is the bastard SO GOOD+??!!??! does he practice has he practiced will he practice and want a partner– no. no. No. NOO not happening vimes is perfectly sane and Will Not Fucking GO THERE!!!

anyway of course shit happens. of course it ends with vimes and vetinari trudging thru the forest, drenched in rain and mud and fuck knows what else and both of them have fuck all idea about mountains and vimes is fucking Pissed bc his lordship shouldn't be here i dont need his lordship here this is bloody fucking daft. sir. and he gets nothing but that infuriating fucking smile in return and a "ah, but your grace, i am simply enjoying a brisk walk. i wasn't aware that was crime" and he's fucking COVERED in mud and his clothes are sticking to him and vimes had never actually seen him WET before and there's mud on his CHEEK and his hair is mussed and. vimes walks into a tree. gets tangled up in a few tree branches, perhaps. trips and falls flat on his ass, even. vetinari laughs at him in that way of his where he's not laughing but you can tell, deep down, he IS. and vimes is still pissed. and suddenly vetinari is helping him up and looking at him from up close with that expression of his that suggests he has inside jokes with himself and he. kisses him.

what the FUCK, right? well. surprise element and all that. vimes' first instinct obviously is to fucking fight him. then he's like. oh wait oh what the fuck. THEN he's like. vetinari is actually a good kisser and im gonna fucking faint. Actually. then vetinari pulls away and goes on business as usual like not a thing happened. if vimes wasn't so fucking dazed and tingling throughout his whole body he'd bash his skull in but well. he just stumbles after him and tries to not have a heart attack.

unfortunately he doesn't have time to think about it bc fucking CENTAURS attack them. yeah. it's not a pretty fight. by the time they get back to the castle vimes is angry and tired and his whole body feels like a bruise and he's STILL fucking thinking about that kiss but he's so tired he actively cannot fucking speak so instead of punching vetinari's perfect fucking face like he planned to he falls headfirst into their bed and goes the fuck to sleep. of course when he wakes up the bed is empty next to him and he remembers last nights events and he just looks and looks and looks at vetinari's side of the bed and has this horrible sick feeling like Uh Oh. i would do anything to see how he looks like asleep. how he looks like minutes after he wakes up. the weight of his body. vimes has the weird thought that he's actually JEALOUS of a fucking bed for feeling vetinari's weight and has to go walk around the castle 5 times. while in his drawers. it's...he could've been more diplomatic about it, is all.

so he spends the whole day in this out of body shock and avoids the fuck out of vetinari and instead goes to do literally anything he can. he talks to shawn. he talks to hodgesargh. he talks to the princess about love and freaks the absolute fuck out. he tears out every root in the entire back garden in a burst of mania. he walks up and down the mountains. he eventually ends up talking to nanny and she implements her bottomless wisdom on him ('fine lad you got there, your graciousness, wanna share 'im? oh, come on i'm just having laugh no need to be like that. you wanna lock it down, if you ask me, that whole fruit basket is RIPE wink wink') which makes him reevaluate his entire life and walk up and down more fucking mountains.

this leads him. nowhere. he hasn't figured out SHIT. he doesn't even know WHAT he's supposed to be figuring out but it sure as shit something and he has this insistent urge to see vetinari but also he WILL punch a wall if he sees him with his entire Unaffected Self so he goes and roams the halls of the castle and he's going room from room searching for something he doesn't even know about until he comes across quiet voices talking and he looks inside and it's bloody fucking vetinari comforting esme's fiancee, nina, and he just. watches. he never knew vetinari could be so gentle. and it's bc he doesn't have to pretend with nina. she doesn't know who he is just that he saw her struggling with some sewing and he helped and they got to talking and she opened up about her fears for being a queen someday and he was just SO kind. and as sam watches this he quietly, quietly realizes that he's in love. and it doesn't hurt him, not like he thought it would. maybe it will, eventually, but this, seeing vetinari like this, doesn't hurt. it can't.

he walks away before he can be seen (though, no doubt, vetinari already sensed him) and just. goes and has a cigarette and tries very hard not to make a big deal out of it. but it is a big deal. and he cant tell anyone.

so its the night of the wedding, ceremony blah blah blah its all a blur until vetinari intertwines their fingers as they walk down the aisle as guests of honor and vimes' whole world narrows down to that one point of contact until vetinari drops it again as they sit down and blah blah blah its the reception the brides are flushed and dancing and happy and happy and vimes is watching them and thinking of his own wedding and also vetinari vetinari vetinari and then of course vetinari stands next to him and he's more scared than he's ever been in his life and vetinari takes his hand again and it is So Over for vimes. they fucking hold hands while saying nothing and it kills vimes but also it's the most alive he's ever felt and maybe there wont ever be more than this but if he has this he'll be fine. and he is. and they are. the end.

so what i'm saying with this is. maybe vimes just needs a few quiet moments where he can see glimpses of vetinari he hadn't let himself see before and also he needs to be hit over the head with feelings otherwise it wont work. vetinari NEEDS to make the first move bc our dear duke will never. ever ever. he doesn't even let himself THINK he wants it he won't do it unless vetinari Plagues him with the Images.

[green-alien-turdz]

started autistically vibrating the second i read your answer lmfao. i was thinking cartman or tweek myself tbh, those bitches are both just PRIMED for it imo. i tend to lean towards a lot of abduction experiences being some kind of extreme reaction to other earthly trauma, but that really doesnt seem to fit every account so idk what the fuck is going on. god though dude *puts on homemade MUFON lanyard* i am SO SO SO CURIOUS to hear about your/your fam's weird experiences if you ever wanna share, i saw some questionable shit when i briefly lived out in Ohio myself. gone back and forth on the legitimacy of it all over the years, one of those things that's like, the more you research the less you Know.

Okay bro, I gotchu. I NEVER get to talk about this shit so imma fuckin go wild

Ight, so legit everybody in my mfin family got some shit to say- I tried to pry my brother's experiences outta him, but he is dogshit about answerin questions. Just know that he got some stories from when he would go campin n shit (even though he has funny ass stories from when he was outta his mind fucked up, there's still a lotta sober experiences he's got too)

1st, my dad: his stories are kinda vague too bcuz we don't talk, but from what he has told me in the past, he has 2 moments in his life he was certain was alien activity. Both of these take place in Texas (but when he was still livin in Ohio, he did say he'd seen some weird shit). The first is when he was movin to Oregon, n he was drivin late at night through Texas. Not a soul on the mfin road n he's in buttfuck nowhere. He said that there was this huge fuckin flash of light from above n his truck completely shut off. Like, the mf was still rollin at the same speed, but nothin it was like the car itself just kinda switched off (no engine, no lights, no music, nothin). He's tryin to start it up over n over, not really sure what the hell was goin on- so he's tryna pop the clutch seein as he was still movin. But this shit would NOT turn the fuck over. Until after he was gonna give up, slowly brake n just pull off to the side, but before he even attempted, the truck starts up again n continues on like nothin even happened.

His second experience I don't remember as well, so sorry about that. If I fuckin recall my dad n his band were just finishin up a show n were just chillin behind the bar smokin. One mf points out that there's this weird fuckin plane over some buildings on the horizon. Like, it just wasn't movin right? He said it seemed to be movin in a really slow zig zag pattern (but it wasn't like a drone, this this was way too big n it was the mid-90s). They kinda brush it off bcuz it's late as hell n they're all pretty shitfaced. But he said that it lasted in that area for about 10 more minutes, just movin back n forth until he looked away for a minute n it was just gone.

He's also told me about how on his late night drives in dead places, he's seen a shit load of random light infront of him shootin into the ground, n this is especially fuckin freaky to me bcuz I got a very similar thing that happened not that long ago. It's explained in my individual experience.

My mom n grandma: My gma might have some more, I feel like she had told me somethin. This one is backed by both my mom n my gma (although my uncle was here too, he just doesn't associate w/ the family so maybe he'd have some input). My gma used to drive from across the whole U.S. ALL the fuckin time when my mom was growin up, like they always had these roadtrips bcuz my gpa was an abusive pos n they'd escape back to my greatgrandparents place. So they're in the more of the desert states (like New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, I just can't remember which). My mom is probably about 10 or so. It's full on daylight, unlike every other story I got, this is the only one where it is broad fuckin daylight out. There's nothin but desert for miles, it's just a long beige stretch. So when my mom saw somethin just hoverin in the sky, it stuck out like a sore thumb. My mom calls it out, which causes everyone in the car to just watch it. My gma doesn't stop drivin, but she slowed down quite a bit, n she says that thing just fuckin sat there. Like, no movement whatsoever. It didn't look all that much like a plane, but they couldn't make out defined details. All they knew is that there is this plane adjacent aircraft just hoverin in the middle of the desert. They'd never seen anythin like it, despite all of them bein raised on military bases n seein a lot of kinds of military aircrafts (which is why this was ruled out). They kept drivin off but my mom said she just watched it through the window as it became smaller n smaller until it got too far away to see- but that shit never moved. It just remained hoverin in that same place.

Ight, Imma get into my experiences now, I got two with people n one that's on my own (that one is long as SHIT).

The first one is with me n my sisters (home in Oregon): This is around 2015-2016. It's the middle of the night in late April. We were chillin bcuz it was one of my sisters bdays n we were just talkin n watchin the stars. Now we live right next to an airport, so there are a shit ton of planes that go over, even late at night- but you can always tell those bcuz of the red lights n they're usually not that high up yet. We were just talkin tryin to find constellations bcuz it was a clear ass night. At some point we see these two lights. They're contained in these circular shadows WELL into the sky, but we could still make out a vessel that the light were on. 4 light on each circle. They're goin up n down the night sky back n forth completely parallel, so it seems like they're together. At first we were losin our shit, not able to explain what we were watchin. After some rational thought, we were like 'mfer we see satellites in the sky all the time, that's probably what these are' bcuz they were fuckin zoomin through the sky. We even see satellites pass over, but we kinda notice that they move n look a LOT different than the lights we were watchin. But every satellite's different yknow? That is until these mfs, the completely parallel movin in tandem lights all of a sudden both separate n go fuckin zoomin away from one another in the opposite direction. No longer up n down, but left n right. And then they're just fuckin GONE. Like, they sped off n never returned to the place they'd been for like 20 or so minutes. (Now I am willin to admit, that very well could be satellites, but it's still weird as fuck).

Here's one with me n my dad: This is around 2019. We were out in Utah, middle of the desert. This time it's probably closer to like 10-11pm. We were kinda just doin our own thing, sittin, thinkin about shit. When outta the fuckin blue, we notice this weird ass aircraft. Like, it low flying, large enough to be a fuckin cargo plane (doesn't look like one though), n movin super slow with a BRIGHT fuckin light slowly phasin in n out, illuminatin the craft. We're both losin our shit watchin this bcuz neither of us know what the fuck we're lookin at. Now this this was low enough that, if it were a plane, we would've heard it. But it was movin at the same speed which planes always appear to be when they're thousands of feet into the sky. But this was maybe 200 or less feet up. It was a really thick, aircraft that was slightly triangular in shape, but still pretty bulky. We couldn't see any engine or shit like that. We are legit fuckin shoutin like mad men, chasin this thing. At some point we try to call over the rest of the family, but we're slowly losin our visual on this thing. Everyone else is tryna look in the sky as my dad n I make a mad dash tryna keep an eye on it as it went behind some structure. But the second we got to a place where it should've been seen on the other side, based on its flight path, this thing was fuckin gone. Like, nowhere in the sky. It was like it was never there. To this day not sure what the fuck we were watchin bcuz we followed it for a good while, just for it to vanish.

Okay, now onto my final encounter (warning, this is a LONG mf bcuz it just happened in January, so it's fresh on my mind): I had decided to drive out to Sauvi island at like 1 am because I really wanted to go out and watch the water. But it was like the foggiest night in existence. It was during that period in January where every night was covered in this thick, heavy fog. I wasn't gonna let that stop me though. Even if I could barely see the road and almost crashed like 5 different times, I was determined. The drive itself was kinda ominous, but shit didn't start gettin weird until I actually reached Sauvi's. The second I reach the island, something just feels off instantly. I mean, no one's on the road of course, it's late, it's foggy. But I mean, it was DEAD. There was an alarming amount of roadkill everywhere (like fresh roadkill), and the entire island reeked of fuckin death, skunk, and mold. So I keep fuckin driving and just get the sense that someone was following me, like on my ass tailing me, but there wasn't any other cars or nothing. But I had the window down and swear I could hear some shit close to me. I'm driving and manage to miss my turn off to the beach. Here's where shit genuinely starts getting weird. Lights. Unexplainable lights ALL over. Now if this was a more populated area, I would assume some of this was street lamps, but the island doesn't really have that many (they have them in front of some buildings, but the roads are lightless). I kept seein "headlights" coming around turns that didn't exist. And when I should've been passing them, there was nothing there and the lights were gone. Okay, weird, but maybe it was my headlights reflection on the fog. Then I see fuckin taillights. I get confused because it looks like a car going up a hill, and I brushed it off before realizing that it was a wide open, flat road, and there was no hill or car in sight. I watched the lights turn into nothing and they were gone. At this point, I'm freaked out, but I'm still finding my way back to the beach. I manage to loop back around to the entrance of Sauvi's so I can take the right turn this time. When I tell you that the smell is worse and I even notice more roadkill. I would've seen any other cars on the road, but there was fuckin no one. And I know damn well that I wasn't the one who hit them. But I brush that off because I'm every white person in a horror movie. Not too long after, I saw the final unexplainable light I'd see that night. There was this small-ish, but abnormally bright light just kinda bobbing up and down infront of this post. I assumed it was some weird reflective thing, but as I approached it, it went up and then shot into the ground- the light completely disappearin into the ground. After I saw this, the feelin of bein chased was at a 100%, like I was stressin. I finally took the right turn, and there's this one fuckin shadow in the fog that I'm TELLING you looked like this tall fucking figure walking about. I legit stopped dead in my tracks to watch it, but this feeling of dread came over me, and I sped off. I finally make it to the beach, but I think I stayed for maybe 5 minutes or less? There was an extremely menacing feeling. Like it was THICK. I couldn't see the water it was so fogged out. I mean, it was beautiful. But it truly felt like I was being watched. There was little to no sound until I heard coyotes fucking EVERYWHERE. Like an insane amount. I head back to the car and they seem to shut up. I absolutely dipped the fuck outta there.

Now it is important to note with Sauvi's that there is maybe a supernatural element into that. Seein as Sauvi's, like most of Oregon n the U.S. was home to Native Americans (Chinook Indians specifically) n as we know, mfs just weren't allowed catch a break (to put things lightly). So there is more than likely some unrest in the energies n life of the island.

But yeah, there's a small collection of experiences in my family. I'd LOVE to hear your shit from Ohio. That place has some strange shit goin on there, like genuinely. Everytime I went to vist my dad's mom, that place just feels like somethins goin on there

[angry-trashcan]

Why Are You Here?!

I came up with this idea of the chain just kinda... showing up in my living room. How I, and them, would react to this and the strange amount of Zelda merch in my room. I'm challenging others to write something similar! How would you react if they showed up in your living room? Tag me if you do!

2.2K WC

I looked up from my laptop at the loud thud. My eyes rolled, probably just my dog getting into something. I started to call her name when I noticed her laying at the end of the bed. Her own attention pointed to the closed bedroom door. What the fuck.

I pushed my laptop to the side and slowly got off the bed. I heard a voice come from the other side of the door, a deep man’s voice. Who the fuck is in my house?! I reached for my bag and scrambled through it until I found my pepper spray and opened my pocket knife with the other hand. My breathing was heavy as I went towards the door. Putting my ear against it, I listened for a minute.

“What kind of place is this?!” Was that another man?! How many are there?!

“Maybe some kind of weird dungeon? Could be some kind of trick.” Another one. I shuffled back to my bed and dug around for my phone. Fuck that, I’m calling 911.

“Imma look around, see if there’s somethin’ else to this place.” Another deep voice that had a too familiar accent too my own. Good to know at least that one’s a local. The bedroom doorknob turned and I turned back towards it, my dog standing to her feet. The pepper spray stayed in my shaky right hand and knife in my left, blade back just like I’ve always been told.

“Ivy, stay.” I whispered to the dog, hoping that for once in her fucking life she would listen. The door opened and a man stepped through, scraggily hair, face tattoos and a bit taller than myself. I screamed, pressing down on the pepper spray aimed at his face. He screamed next.

I paced the living room, looking at the men who were sitting amongst the couches and kitchen chairs. “No, I just don’t understand any of this.”

“And you think we do?” Legend hissed. He really does have an attitude problem.

“Did I fuckin’ say ya did?!”

“Okay, let’s just try to take a deep breath. Where exactly are we?” Warriors asked, and damn if his jawline wasn’t great in person.

“Texas.” I answer bluntly, my pacing not stopping.

“Okay, where is ‘Texas’?” Four, (bless his short little heart, only comes up to my stomach) put air quotes around the word.

“The United States, North America, South of Canada and North of Mexico.” They looked between each other.

“It seems like we have landed far, far from Hyrule.” Time spoke for the first time, his hand resting on his chin. “This is gonna be a fun one, boys.”

I looked to him, then Twilight next to him on the couch, still pouring milk into his eyes. I grimaced again at the thought of the pepper spray. I guess it’s better than if I had stabbed him. Ivy, my dog, was laying across his feet and licking Wild’s face who sat on the ground.

“We are terribly sorry for the intrusion; we will be leaving here shortly.” Time explained, standing to his feet.

I shook my head, laughing lightly. “Where do you plan to go?”

He seemed confused by that, “What do you mean? To an inn until we find the meaning for us being dropped here.”

“There’s no inns here. The closest hotel would be over thirty miles away.” Not to mention it being over 105 degrees and straight highway to get there. If they would even accept rupees as payment.

Time looked to Warriors, “What do you propose we do?”

“We can find somewhere to camp I would guess. That is all we can do.”

“You can stay here.” Everyone, even Twilight with his bloodshot eyes, looked at me. I suddenly felt the weight of those words. “I- I know there’s not much room but y’all can’t really go anywhere else. And it’s far too hot to camp.”

“We wouldn’t want to be a burden.” Hyrule says from next to me, oh gods his voice sounds like angels.

I shook my head again, “It’s no burden. I was going to start cooking soon for myself so I’ll just…” I looked around the room to the… ten? Men and boys and then to the fridge, “make more.”

“I’ll help!” Wild pipped up. I thanked him before turning to my room.

“Just give me like, five minutes, and I’ll be back out.” Nods came around as I closed the door behind me. My fake smile instantly fell the second my eyes reached the wall above my bed. Three Zelda posters, a Master Sword hung on display, a TOTK figure, art and so much more. What the fuck am I supposed to do with all of this?! Climbing up on my bed I started trying to take down the sword first, that would be the hardest to explain arguably.

“Hey, whatcha doin’?” A younger voice came from behind me. I blew the hair out of my face before looking back, Wind staring at me. My hands were on the sword, trying to take the screws out of the base holding it up.

“Uh…” I froze.

“Is- how do you-“ I jumped off the bed and ran to him, sword falling to the bed in the process.

“Shhh! Don’t say anything! It’s fake! It’s not even sharp!” I reached for the sword with one hand and pulled it up between us, letting him run his hand over it.

“Yeah, but. How do you have this?” His eyes fell behind me to the wall before they widened. “Is that-“ I looked back to where he was looking. To my Wind Waker poster. FUCK. HOW THE FUCK- “That’s so cool!” He screeched, dropping the sword into my hands and rushing to the wall, hands framing his own picture between them. “Damn! I look so cool here!”

“What’s going on in here?” Sky poked his head in, looking between you and Wind.

“Not-“

“Come look at this, Sky! They have a fake Master Sword and a picture of me on the wall! And, is that- is that Sage?!” Sky came into the room, eyes getting wide at the sword in my hands before going to Wind.

“That does look like Sage, huh? Strange.”

“Hey, Bailey? Can you come here for a second?” A voice called from the living room. I groaned internally before putting the sword on the bed, covering it with a blanket. Getting back in the living room and Sage and Wild were taking particular interest in a picture on the wall.

“So, uh, not gonna ask how you have this. But you got the hots for me or something?” Sage’s flat voice threw me off, getting me to shake my head.

“I’m sorry, what?”

He pointed at the picture he and Wild were staring at and, oh. It was a fairly large portrait of the art Lucifer, redone to be Sage. My only response was an awkward laugh before I felt a tap on my back. Legend spoke, “Hey, why do you have a snake and lizard in glass cages? Are you some kind of witch or something?”

That somehow caught me even more off guard, “Uh, well yes. But no, not like that-“

“Where does it come from?!” Hyrule was poking the water button on the fridge, water spilling everywhere. “Is it some kind of enchantment?”

“How is the light coming from here without flames? Is the flame inside the glass?” Warriors tapped the light bulb on the fixture over the small table.

“What kind of food is this?” Twilight looked rolled the cosmic brownie over in his hand.

“OKAY!” I yelled out. It caught everyone’s attention. “Imma start cookin’. There’s a small creek just down the hill behind the house, can’t miss it. Why don’t y’all go down there and I’ll cook? Be back in about forty-five minutes.” A few murmurs as they filed out the door. “Thank you!” I called out, closing the door behind it and leaning against it. “Fuck.”

“It’s a lot.” Wild’s voice made me snap my head up.

“I thought you would have gone with them.”

“I told you I would help cook.”

I smiled, “Thank you, Wild.” I looked out the window over the kitchen sink and saw that they had successfully made it to the creek before I stepped outside myself. “I just need a few things from the garden.” I left the door open for him to follow. I quickly picked some peppers and basil and shoved it into my shirt. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that he picked one of the peppers and ate it. Those bitches are spicy just like that. How did he not even react? Is he that numb to spice from that damn goron spice?!

I tried to ignore it, putting all of the ingredients on the counter. He closed the door, tying his hair up higher as he came up next to me. Gods he looked so cute like that. They should have given him more hair up options in the game-

“So, what are we making?” He smiled, looking to the collection of food laid out.

“I’m thinking just pasta and some garlic bread. I wasn’t really expecting guests so that’s all I have enough of to make.”

He nodded, “I don’t know how to make either of those things but I bet I can figure it out!”

I laughed, turning on the stove top and letting the fire start boiling a pot of water. “It’s not too hard. When this water starts boiling, pour this box in there.”

He took the box of dried pasta from my hand, nodding. “I think I can do that.”

 “I believe in you.”

Dinner cooked quick and Wild ate a few too many of the peppers. So, I had to send him back out to get more as I made the sauce. I noticed the rest of the group coming back up the hill through the window as I started getting plates out. The chain settled around the too-small table and couches as Wild and I handed them their food. They were still laughing about something that had happened on their little outing as they ate. I stood quietly, starting to eat my own when Twilight patted his own chair at the table.

“It’s only fair ya get a seat at ya own table. You did cook the food.” He laughed.

I shook my head, “Nah, it’s alright, really. Y’all are guests.”

He rolled his eyes, coming and taking my plate from my hands and putting it on the table. “Sit down. You ain’t sat down since we got here.”

I rolled my own eyes back, but sat down. “You’re more persistent than a bobcat, I swear.”

“Well, I wouldn’t hafta be if you weren’t as stubborn as a goat in the summer.”

Four looked to Legend next to him, mouth full of bread, “Do you have any idea what they’re saying?” He whispered.

“Not a damn clue.”

With dishes in the sink for a future me problem and sleeping arrangements situated I went to my room, calling Ivy in with me. I explained how to the toilet works before closing the door, taking a deep breath. A cough behind me pulled me from thoughts. Can I get a moment of peace? I turned to see Sage, standing next to the air mattress in the room. How could I forget one of them had to sleep in here?

“I know, I’m ‘bout to turn out the light and we can get to sleep.” I walked towards my own bed, pushing the still hidden sword further into the blankets.

“It’s not that. I’m just wondering why you have writing about us on that screen thing there.”

What.

“What are you talking about?”

“That thing right there on the bed.” He pointed to my still very open laptop, which had been plugged in. And open on Linked Universe fanfic I had been writing. How can he even read that?!

“I-“ I looked to him, then to the laptop, then back to him. “How can you read that?” Let’s just ask.

“Don’t worry. It seems like I’m the only one who can read your language for some reason. It’s kinda comical. I’m still very confused. But it’s somewhat endearing.” He sat on the air mattress, looking down at it under him when it moved more than he expected.

“Well, I’m glad you think so. Please don’t tell the others.” I sat on my own bed, hands folding in my lap.

He laughed, shaking his head. “Don’t worry, they’d probably freak and ask more questions. I’m okay with leaving it be.”

“Thank you, Sage. I appreciate that.” I smiled lightly. “I am, however, going to sleep. My ten favorite video game characters coming to life and showing up in my house was a lot for one day.” I laid back against my pillows, turning off the lamp in the process. Darkness fell over the room. I heard him shuffling into his air mattress before silence fell. I almost thought he was asleep when he spoke.

“So, you do have the hots for me?”

“GOODNIGHT.”

(NEXT)

[campwillowpeak]

N- NSFW Alphabet?

Woooooo that took a hot minute

But here we go! Harper's NSFW Alphabet~

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Expect lots of cuddling / fawning over you and him telling you how much he adores you and how perfect he thinks you are, softly kissing you all over. He'll get you anything you need, water, snack, change of PJs.. but if he has his way you'll be stuck sleeping in his arms all night with him waking up here and there and kissing the top of your head as you sleep, cause he ain't letting you go

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Boi is a thigh/hips/tummy man. Just that whole general area, expect him to grip and bite them any chance he gets, wearing skirts/shorts around this man is dangerous

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) His cum is pretty thick ngl with kinda a mellow salty taste. Volume wise it's pretty heavy, don't let him see it dripping down your thighs or you're gonna end up back on the bed getting another load

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He would LOVE to be caught fucking in public, and chances are he probably wouldn't stop if you two were caught

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) He's a virgin, but he's watched a good bit of porn, so he at least knows where it goes And yes, he does know where the clit is

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Doggy, Plank, Standing missionary while holding you up against the wall

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) He's usually more serious during, but afterwards he can get on the more humorous side, especially if you're flustered.. He will tease you

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) He's well groomed and trimmed, he has black happy trail starting about half way down between his belly button and groin but if you ask him he doesn't mind shaving it completely

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Depends on the mood and build up! He can either be romantic, telling you how much he loves you and needs you, how you're everything to him and he wants nothing more than to make you happy as he kisses along your neck and pumps himself into you.

Ooooooor he can be hot and heavy, gripping and pulling at you as he growls in your ear how he can't wait to pump his little cum slut full, and how he wants to hear you scream his name as he claims you :)

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) Yes At least once a day, usually more tho… What? The boy is horny on main 乁( ⏒ ͜ʖ ⏒ )ㄏ

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) I already answerd this so Imma just copy/paste

"Bondage, Breeding, Biting, Over Stimulation, Edging, Light Latex, Teasing, Dirty Talk, Choking, Agoraphilia, Begging, Hair Pulling, Ice Play, Role Play, Photography/Video Taping, Light Sadomasochism (Though he'll go as far as you want as long as you have a safe word), Size diff, Barebacking, Blindfolds, Face fucking, aaand Spanking I'm probably missing a few but yeah He also has both a Degradation and a Praise kink which makes him… very confused"

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) Either in one of your guy's beds or somewhere hidden in public… He likes the risk

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) Just thinking about you is enough to get you going… But the way you smell really riles him up.. Whatever perfume/cologne or body wash you use, it'll drive him wild

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) Age play, gross out stuff, noncon, stuff like that

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) He likes giving as much as receiving, as for skill… well the boy has the tongue for it… and its pierced

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) He prefers fast and rough, he wants to hear you cock drunk as he ravages you~

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) He's down for quickies but they aren't his favorite, he'd much prefer to really get into it

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) The boy loves making it risky, it makes it way more exciting and watching you squirm as you try and keep quite makes him go mad, he'll pick up the pace, bite, and grab, anything he has to do just to make it harder to keep your moans in As for experimenting, he's down for most kinds

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) He has to tap out at about 2-3 rounds, but those 2-3 can last a good while if you let them

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) He owns a pocket pussy tho he rarely uses it, he gets annoyed having to clean it every time, so he usually just sticks with his hand. If you wanted to get toys to use in the bedroom though he'd totally be down, especially if one of you is tied up while using them~

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) If you let him he'll bring you to the point of orgasming again and again, teasing you with that release until you can't take it anymore and you're begging for it

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) He vocal. Groans and grunts and either words of love and endearment.. or how you're his slut and he can't wait to fuck you senseless

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) If he knew you were good humored enough and he felt like being a little shit he would totally try and fuck you to the pace of "Hudson Mohawke - Cbat" just to see if you'd catch it And if you did he'd be laughing too hard to even continue for a good few hours

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) 8'' and girthy! He also has a fenrim piercing. His body also has a good few scars as well

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) ….. Yes

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Boy will pass out in a minute flat once everything is calmed down

[gimmethatagustd]

sksjshsj sorry i’m in a silly goofy mood so instead of destroying you with a pic, imma make you giggle. (or roll your eyes. either one) i have nothing in mind in regards of pairing so honestly go wild boo. 🤘🏽😌

Jungkook doesn't appreciate Taehyung's Men in Black costume, and that's very rude of him.

↳ pairing: taehyung x jungkook

↳ rating/genre: BTS | 18+ | established relationship | halloween | smut | fluff | humor

↳ wc/date: 1.3k | October 2023

↳ warnings: jokes that you'll only understand if you have knowledge about men in black and the jada pinkett smith x will smith x other men "entanglements" lmfaoo, slander against the Heterosexuals, an attempt at roleplay lol (work relationship, infidelity, tae forces jk to call him 'sir' lol), tae is weird as hell (what do you expect?), a very unserious blowjob

↳ notes: this is probably the dumbest thing i've ever written in my entire life, and i love it so much

↳ masterlist / taglist

↳ what was jai listening to? men in black - will smith

Halloween 2023 Masterlist

“See that?” 

“Taehyung, I don’t feel like doing this right now.” 

“See. That?” 

Jungkook heaves a loud sigh and leans away, the back of his head gently knocking against the bedroom door. He tilts his chin slightly to look directly into Taehyung’s eyes. Since Jungkook isn’t wearing his signature chunky boots, Taehyung is taller than him. 

Typically, Jungkook knows he looks at Taehyung like he put the stars in the skies (and in Jungkook’s eyes), but today…

“Fine,” Jungkook concedes with a roll of his eyes. “Yes, hyung, I see it.” 

Taehyung’s eyes aren’t visible through the dark, alien-esque sunglasses he’s wearing, but Jungkook is sure he’s squinting in a way that Taehyung probably thinks is menacing. 

Taehyung holds up a small silver object connected to a thin chain around his neck. 

“NYPD!” Taehyung shakes the police badge in Jungkook’s face. Jungkook releases another heavy sigh. “Means I’ll Knock Your Punkass Down!” 

“Knock is spelled with a ‘K’ in English, babe.” 

“Jungkook-ah, you’re ruining the moment.” 

“I’m ruining the moment?! You already killed my boner! I’m not gonna do this weird fucking Men in Black roleplay with you!” 

Taehyung rips off his glasses and lets out that little whiny sound he makes when he isn’t getting what he wants. Normally, Jungkook finds it cute. Today, his boyfriend isn’t cute in the slightest. 

(Okay, maybe a little bit. He does look nice in his fitted suit and fluffy bangs. A little.) 

“Why do you hate fun?” 

Pushing Taehyung’s chest, Jungkook forces him out of his way. “This is not fun.” 

Taehyung scrambles after Jungkook as he walks over to their dresser to look for a fresh change of pajamas. Namjoon’s Halloween party lasted longer than Jungkook expected, and he has work in the morning. He’d love to get out of the ugly New Balances, khakis, and blue and white checkered button-up he’s wearing. 

(Dressing Jungkook up as a Straight Person was Taehyung’s idea, and Jungkook hates to admit that it was a great fucking idea. Straight People are very spooky, right?) 

“But I imitate Will Smith so well.” 

Jungkook twists around to stare at Taehyung, a pair of boxers and a white tank top clutched in his hands. “If you don’t cut this shit out, I’m gonna go Jada fucking Pinkett Smith on your ass and act like I don’t know who the fuck you are.” 

Taehyung gasps, clasping a hand against his chest. “And to think I was going to suck you off before we went to bed. You asshole.” 

Jungkook swallows and tries to keep his voice steady as he asks, “You what?” 

“Nope,” Taehyung tuts with a waggle of his finger. “You rejected me.” 

“No, I didn’t.” 

“Yes, you did!” 

“Babe,” Jungkook tosses his clothes back into the drawer and grabs Taehyung by his skinny black tie. “All I said was that I wasn’t having fun. But, the other thing, sounds fun…” 

Taehyung snorts. “I shouldn’t have let you wear that outfit. You’re acting like such a horny dudebro right now.” 

“Me?! You started this!” 

Narrowing his eyes, Taehyung slowly puts the weird sunglasses back on and pries Jungkook’s fingers from his tie. 

“Fine, I’ll give you what you want. But only because I like the fantasy that you’re some pathetic straight man trapped in a loveless marriage, and I’m your sexy CEO boss who gets to turn you out.” 

Jungkook watches with a raised eyebrow as Taehyung slowly sinks to the floor. Seeing Taehyung on his knees in a full suit does something to him. “So now you’re a CEO? Not an alien hunter?”

With a razor-sharp grin that makes Jungkook’s stomach flip, Taehyung reaches up to swiftly undo Jungkook’s pants. 

“Perhaps I’m the CEO of an alien-hunting corporation,” Taehyung suggests as he pulls Jungkook’s pants and briefs down until they pool at his ankles. Jungkook doesn’t even bother stepping out of them. 

“Sure, babe,” Jungkook sighs when Taehyung’s pretty fingers wrap around the base of his soft cock.

He wasn’t lying before; Taehyung’s annoying behavior had killed his boner. However, the nice thing about being in love is that deep down, Jungkook thinks everything Taehyung does is cute. Even when he’s being annoying as fuck. 

“Say it with more conviction,” Taehyung commands before angling his head to lick a stripe up Jungkook’s cock. 

Reaching backward, Jungkook grabs onto the dresser to steady himself as Taehyung softly sucks the head of his cock. He knows Taehyung won’t give him what he wants unless he follows the rules of the game. 

“You are the CEO,” Jungkook grits out, “Of an alien, fuck,” Taehyung swirls his tongue around the tip, poking at Jungkook’s slit to lap up the precum that collects there, “Hunting c-corporation.” 

“Very good. Now, I want you to call me ‘sir’ since this is a professional relationship first and foremost. I don’t care if you’re cheating on your wife with me; I’m still your superior.” 

Reaching down to brush Taehyung’s bangs away from his face, Jungkook lightly tugs the fluffy strands. “Please shut up.” 

Somehow Taehyung manages to spit on Jungkook’s cock indignantly, with furrowed eyebrows and a deep frown. He runs his hand up the shaft while scowling at him. 

“Is that the proper way to speak to your boss, Jungkook-ssi?” 

With the tip of his tongue, Taehyung leans forward and flicks at the underside of the head, rubbing his tongue flat against it whenever Jungkook twitches. 

“I hate you,” Jungkook whispers, the softness of his voice turning into a whimper. 

“You love me.” 

“Yes, and also, I hate you. Sir.”

Humming in amusement, Taehyung sinks further down until his nose presses against Jungkook’s abdomen. Jungkook can feel him regulating his breathing and his throat contracting and relaxing as he swallows. It’s enough to make Jungkook weak in the knees, and he tightens his grip on the dresser. 

“Fuck, Tae,” Jungkook moans as Taehyung begins to bob his head. “Just like that, just, ahh shit, I’m not gonna–” 

“Oh!” Taehyung unexpectedly releases Jungkook’s cock. A thin string of spit connects his mouth with the tip, and he breaks it by swiping his tongue over his bottom lip. “Maybe you’re an alien in disguise.” 

Jungkook throws his head back with a groan. “Taehyung, please.” 

“Sorry, sorry,” Taehyung giggles before he takes Jungkook’s cock into his mouth once again.

It doesn’t take much effort to finish Jungkook off. Taehyung has always been Jungkook's weakness. No matter how goofy he looks with the stupid alien glasses or how weird his idea of fun is, Jungkook can’t help but feel warm all over whenever he looks at Taehyung. Happiness radiates from him, an innocent soul– even in situations like this when Taehyung looks anything but innocent with Jungkook’s cock down his throat. 

“Tae,” Jungkook moans, a warning that he knows Taehyung will understand. As he feels the burning pressure build up inside him, he lets go of Taehyung’s hair and takes off the glasses, tossing them to the side. “Wanna see your pretty eyes.”

They watch each other as he cums, Jungkook cradling the side of Taehyung’s face and Taehyung squeezing Jungkook’s thighs. 

Taehyung pulls away with a gasp. “You handled that really well for an alien disguised as a Straight Man,” Taehyung chokes out, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

“Hyung, oh my god.” Jungkook tries to move, but he feels like the bones in his legs have turned to liquid, and his ankles are still wrapped up in his pants. “Stop it right now.” 

Licking his lips, Taehyung gives Jungkook a wicked grin. “Or else what?”

Jungkook covers his face with his hands as he mumbles, “Or else I’ll knock your punkass down.” 

Only Taehyung can giggle so sweetly while on his knees in a fitted suit after sucking his boyfriend off. God, Jungkook really loves him, weird and all. 

Halloween 2023 Masterlist

all rights reserved © gimmethatagustd on tumblr & AO3

do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my work

[borathae]

Question, do the sanguis boys wax down there? I don't know why but because kook is a masochist I can see him waxing even his hole 🫣

Oooh good question 👀 HCs under the cut

Yoongi

never thought pubes to be a problem

on himself or his partner(s)

"We're all adults, aren’t we? Adults tend to have pubes. Where's the fucking problem with them?"

he does like taking care of his bush however

he likes trimming the misbehaving spots

and shampoos it daily

once a week, he even puts moisturising oils in them to keep them soft

they'll always have a faint clean scent to them

and sometimes hint from under the hem of his pants nfnfnf

Taehyung

go bush or go home

he fucking loves it wild and natural

the thicker and hairier the better

loves the look of it when there is so much of it, it comes out of the underwear

he loves painting it omfg

there is so many close up paintings of just his lovers' genitals and bush

you find him burying his face in a good bush and smelling it aggressively

he's a little unhinged like that

same with armpit hair

takes care of his own bush religiously

it may appear wild and unkempt, but trust that he spends minimum five minutes daily taking care of it after his showers

Jungkook

he is either natural, trimmed or clean

it depends on how he feels

when he’s natural, he washes them and moisturises them religiously

when he’s trimmed, he likes keeping his balls and hole clean because trimmed hair is too itchy for him around those areas

when he’s clean, Imma take your HC and say that he waxes himself

well, I think he lets someone else do it

it was an aesthetician at first, but then he got awkward about it

now he asks someone of the polycule to do it

OC would be careful about it and always warn before the rip + ask if he's okay afterwards

they would listen to chill R&B as they’re doing it and she would go all "super duper king spa" mode HSJSJS

Yoongi would be nonchalant and quick about it

he'd be all like "spread your ass more", "arch your back more", "kook stop wiggling, I know the wax is warm but I ain't gonna get your balls if you keep wiggling" and he'll ask if he's okay just once after everything is done

I can see him and Kook drinking whiskey as they’re doing it and either sharing silence except for Yoongi’s orders+Kook's complaints OR they talk about their shared interests

Tae would be either in grieving over the lost hair or make it sexual

listen. Kook really isn’t out to make it sexual but it gets really hard (pun intended) to stay soft when Tae touches him in such sensual ways.

he'll hold his cock at his tip and give it slow, "innocent" jerking movements as he applies the wax on his balls for example

or he'll be all like "there as well? There? Right there? I can’t seem to see any hair however. There you said?" as he pokes around the first few inches of Jungkook’s hole with his pinky

like. LIKE. Waxing with Tae will end in sex 98% of the time

sometimes he also asks Hoseok and I think he'll be a mixture of OC and Yoongi

he tries to be quick to make the pain as short as possible but he'll keep being apologetic and worried he hurts him too much

one time he accidentally apologised to Kook by giving his hole a "booboo bye" kiss instinctively JSJSJSJ

that moment was really awkward at first but then both men laughed about it

(Kook ended up pulling him in for a makeout session afterwards cause pretty best friends make out sometimes ayee)

Jimin

has the biggest body image issues ever

please don’t ask him about his genitals or pubes

when he’s natural, he thinks he is the dirtiest, most unattractive rodent ever

which ends in him rapidly shaving himself, close to tears and in a pitch black room

(his vampire vision makes it possible)

and then once he's clean, he'll hate the look of it

cause now the focus is all on his dick and he hates it

please don’t ask this man about his pubes situation because he will break into tears on a bad day

Hoseok

I see him keeping it really neat and tidy

not too long, but not too short

he'll be so meticulous and shape them to perfect symmetry

I can see sharpe edges with him

he'll shave the parts visible from his briefs

and keep his balls & hole clean

like so, so clean and soft and pretty

he comes from porn, so he always makes it a priority to be presentable down there

Seokjin

how dare you ask about something so private

no on a serious note, I think he likes to keep his pubes short and his balls free

he shaves them

and his "bikini zone"

and his hole

which results in the most contortionist poses ever in the shower jsjsjs

one time, Emma offered to wax him

which they did and that was the first and last time Seokjin cursed at her Sjsjsjs

they never tried again HAHAHAHA

Namjoon

he currently lives in a hidden cabin in the woods with no connection to the outer world

so he has other stuff to worry about than his pubes Jsjsjsj

when he was free and in his glory, he kept it neat and tidy however

I can see him ordering his subs (slaves) to lick his pubes as humiliation because he'd keep calling them disgusting for it

or he'd shove their faces into them and order them to take a good wiff

like he saw pubes as a patch of power and a tool for humiliation

send tweet.

[ninjagrace]

what’s ur favorite scenario to dream about with mtsk and death (kou dying, specifically)

YOU. YOU GET ME.

i’m gonna start this off with saying that kou minamoto is literally my favorite character ever so don’t think i’m doing this because i hate him i just think about him way too much and this is where i end up after thinking for too long

i have SO MUCH to say about this but i’m gonna throw it under the cut bc i don’t wanna catch ppl off guard with my insane bullshit

if ur reading this and u get upset it’s ur own fault /hj

alright SO

first off kou definitely should’ve died during the pp arc just for shits and giggles. it would’ve been like a “what the fuck just happened” for every character and the whole fandom and the chaos that would’ve ensued from the death of a major character would’ve been absolutely WILD- like bitch just killed himself. he straight up committed suicide. there’s no way of rephrasing that bc that’s what he did. it would’ve been a plot-shattering moment and really just heartbreaking and awful and aidairo could’ve done so much with it.

for one, mitsuba would’ve been very Not Ok because he would’ve blamed himself for kou dying and he’d definitely try to gaslight himself into believing kou was still alive- that would not work btw he’d just be in insane denial

anyway imma move on from that arc even though i could go into it so much deeper and focus on things that i could see happening just to make the story hella interesting (i’ve been very tempted to write a fic about this so beware)

i think the most likely ways kou would die would either be suicide or being killed by tsukasa. we’ve already seen him attempt to kill himself, thwarted by mitsuba then brushed aside for some reason, and i’m about to do a full ass analysis on why tsukasa should murder our boy :3

reiterating that I LOVE KOU MINAMOTO WITH MY WHOLE HEART HES PERFECT

okay so tsukasa. hes a silly guy. one of his main traits is he loves to fuck with people, right? right yeah whatever get to the point IM WORKING ON IT ok sorry anyway he’s silly right. he thrives off fucking people up as much as possible. since he knows fucking everything i’m gonna assume he knows how important kou is to mitsuba and, given the fact that it’s so easy to fuck with mitsuba, he’d know that messing with kou in some way would make the biggest impact. every way he messes up mitsuba’s (after)life doesn’t emotionally impact him for too long, given the fact that he and kou with it out every time. but what happens when we take out the support system? that’s what we wanna know.

so ofc tsukasa feels all silly goofy and takes out kou just for funzies. mitsuba is absolutely fucking destroyed in every way. he blames himself, duh. this splits off into 2 possible scenarios that i’ve created lol.

possibility one: mitsuba stays in his boundary for god knows how long, refusing to talk to anyone. eventually he goes to shijima, begging for a replacement kou. even if hes fake, it’s better than nothing, right? shijima understood his grief, in a way. so, she gave in. boom. kou copy. the rest was none of her business.

kou copy only knows what shijima knows about him, so let’s go with everything up until the end of the picture perfect arc. he has no idea about anything after, including the aquarium date, the far shore incident, and the supernaturals being banished from the near shore in the first place, and it’s fine that way. …right? well, that means he also doesn’t know that he’s supposed to be dead.

he keeps asking mitsuba when he can leave the boundary and go home, when he can go see senpai, when he can see his brother, and he’s very upset. mitsuba has no idea what to do. he was overjoyed to have his crush best friend back that he didn’t even think of what would happen after… he couldn’t let kou out of the boundary. that was out of the question. keeping kou here would make him miserable and make him hate mitsuba. so at this point they’re stuck in a cycle of shouting matches of wether or not kou is allowed to leave, periods of silence, and occasional truces because they both need someone to keep them sane, and who else can do it but each other?

possibly 2: supernaturals are a thing in this world, so why can’t kou be one too? even though tsukasa is the one who killed kou in the first place, mitsuba begs him to bring kou back, to make kou a supernatural just like mitsuba. mitsuba knows what being a supernatural feels like. he knows that just letting kou go would be so much better for the dumb blonde boy. he knows that kou deserves better than to be forced to live in a world that doesn’t want him anymore. but mitsuba is selfish. so tsukasa makes kou into a supernatural. for funzies, you know? he’d never worked with a human corpse before, so why not try out making one into a supernatural?

the process of making a supernatural is… messy. mitsuba now knows this, as he couldn’t look away from his boyfriend being made into one. it was horrific. i’m not gonna delve into it because i really don’t wanna think about that i’m so sorry my poor baby

just like with mitsuba, tsukasa didn’t have kou’s actual soul to work with, just supernatural parts and kou’s body. it was simply an animated puppet that looked like kou minamoto. “it’s fine,” mitsuba said, “it’s okay, he’s back, that what matters, right?” “it’ll be fine, right minamoto?” and as he looks to kou for support, all he gets in response is a blank look. he realizes, after staring in horror at the jagged scar on kou’s neck, that his vocal chords are absolutely fucked up beyond repair. he’d never hear kou’s voice again.

thanks for reading and i’m so sorry <3

[midnight-omega]

Anatomy hc

Okiii ur girl spent most of last night trying to figure some things out and draw some diagrams fr

This post focuses on the reproductive anatomy of my omegaverse. I'm gonna go through each of the 6 gender/dynamic combinations and give a little info about how I think it all works :> like everything else this varies from person to person so if this isn't ur thing no worries! If this is ur thing feel free to use it! But if you use my diagrams I'd appreciate it if you credited me be i spent a long time on them 😔

I also want to link this very in depth explanation because I did take a lot of inspiration from it for my male omegas! I adore this concept for them and I'll be using it going forward. The author talks about a lot more tho some of which imma steal some of which Im not :))

Okay lets get into it fr, be warned there are my messy diagrams of all kinds of private bits under the cut. Also if tumblr kills the quality im so sorry fr :((

Male Alpha

🌕 Let's start with our boys here.

🌕 Honestly they're pretty straightforward! There's not too many crazy anatomy changes here. They function pretty much the same as irl amab anatomy does.

🌕 They have a penis and external testes

🌕 They have a prostrate that can be stimulated via anal penetration

🌕 Male alphas tend to be on the bigger side concerning length/girth but this varies from person to person

🌕 Now, the defining characteristic of a male alpha is their knot. Only alphas have a knot!

🌕 The knot is soft tissue that expands during orgasm. This "locks" the penis into the vagina in order to facilitate conception. In simple terms, sperm stuck inside better change pregananant

🌕 The knot typically stays expanded for about 20min after orgasm, but this can vary. Any longer than an hour though, can be cause for concern

🌕 The male alpha usually has a larger knot than a female alpha and experiences higher chances of successfully "tying" (tying here meaning the knot actually gets stuck in the receiver)

🌕 An alpha can knot outside of rut, but these knots may be smaller or not fully expanded since they're lacking the overproduction of hormones that rut creates

🌕 A deflated knot is still visible as a ring of much softer tissue than the rest of the shaft

Female Alpha

🌕 oh boy, oh god, mother mary save us all

🌕 This one was so HARD to figure out fr... let me get into this

🌕 I've always liked the idea of a female alpha having a hidden penis best. One that's concealed where the clit ought to be but expands and pops out during rut or when aroused. I like this one best bc I'm not a super big fan of the anatomy set up of having a vulva and dick and balls all at once, and anatomically I never understood like... the concept of the clit swells a lil and thats the knot bc... penetrate how?? I also just don't like pregnant female alphas much! To me alphas impregnate only not carry

🌕 So hidden penis was my favorite option !

🌕 But once I started drawing out the diagram I immediately had problems placing the sheathed penis inside the body

🌕 My biggest issues were the bladder and pubic bone. The bladder I can move around easy enough, especially since female and male anatomy have it in slightly different positions anyway

🌕 But what was fucking me up was that damn bone

🌕 If we want to replace the clit with a penis the penis is going to need to run straight through that bone. The pubic bone in female anatomy sits right above the clit basically. In male anatomy its a tad higher up but even moving it up it would still be in the way of the penis

🌕 I could continue to move the bone or do away with it but then we compromise the human shape of the female alpha. The rest of the dynamics would look human in the hips and pelvis but female alpha she'd be.. little fucked up. Not to mention I'm sure there's some other wild medical consequence of removing or moving the pubic bone that I'm not aware of

🌕 So... we can't put the sheathed penis exactly where the clit is

🌕 I could put it where the vagina is, but then that eliminates the vagina entirely and makes female alphas unable to have penetrative sex and tbh I'm not into that give her a gspot yk?

🌕 I could move the urethra around, like push it forward towards the clit even more and push the vaginal opening backwards, or even combine the vagina and anus like the male omega but I wasn't a fan of that either. It makes her feel to male omega-y and less unique to me

🌕 Furthermore like... vaginas are low. Like lower than u think, clits are a little lower too. And penises are so high! So.. having a penis come out so low between your legs wouldn't that make penetrating kinda hard unless you had a crazy long horse cock or smth.

🌕 So I ended up keeping the penis sheathed like I wanted, but I moved it up

🌕 The penis head is a little above where a clit would sit but I still removed the clit from her anatomy

🌕 To avoid the bone I had to put the penis above it. This isn't super crazy since the vans deferens also comes down over the bone, but it is a little awkward because this isn't a little tube this is a PENIS. This is a whole long cord of tissue and blood vessels here and I'm not giving her a small flat cock to compensate she doesn't deserve that

🌕 So, her muscle, fat, skin, and what have you is gonna have to push out to make room for the penis sitting above the bone.

🌕 Insert female alpha sheath bulge >:))

🌕 tbh I think giving her a bit of a bump is pretty hot so I'm satisfied!

🌕 However bc its sitting right over a bone any pressure applied to it is going to be uncomfortable or even painful for her

🌕 So... ig if you wanna kick a female alpha in the nuts aim for her sheath fr

🌕 So then I was good for awhile, I had placed the penis in the body in a way that satisfied me and kept the vagina intact

🌕 But okay now the penis has to come out

🌕 The female alpha cock still sits lower than the male one, so we have to do a little more bending to get it to flip up in proper penis formation

🌕 No problem, I'll just give the female a longer base after the knot and said base will be way more bendy than a real penis np np

🌕 Okay but... if we have a noodle base how is the erection staying erect and not just becoming a top heavy string of stuck blood that flops tf over

🌕 Insert what I did with the labia

🌕 I want female alphas to enjoy vaginal sex if they want to mostly for kinky reasons yk but its my world so!

🌕 But this means that I don't really wanna touch the labia around the vagina, they should still get looser during arousal they should still be fun to play with yada yada yada

🌕 But the penis needs something to lock it upright. So I split the labia into even more parts.

🌕 On irl afab anatomy theres the inner and outer labia and that's that. On the female alpha tho I had to get creative. I gave her her inner and outer labia that would function normally

🌕 Then I gave her another set around the exit of her sheath. I called them! The penile labia for lack of creativity and anatomical knowledge! Unlike the outer and inner labia around the vagina, these ones stiffen and lock up during arousal after the penis has been unleashed. This keeps it out and helps it stand!

🌕 I also gave her a middle labia. This is an extremely tough piece of muscle that separates her upper and lower sets of lips. The middle labia supports our bendy base even more and tends to get engorged and may even expand a little to support the weight of the cock and knot

🌕 This isn't fool proof by ANY means and I'm sure ppl who know anatomy better than me have a million issues rn but yk what? This makes sense to me and took me awhile to figure it out fr so I'm content

🌕 Now... I gave her a uterus-like structure and still called it "uterus" for lack of better term. this is not a functioning uterus so female alphas cannot conceive

🌕 But in this model I have this uterus act more like a muscle that helps push the penis out of the sheath. Believable? Idk but its chill with me

🌕 The female knot is generally a littler smaller than the male knot because it's gotta fit in the body

🌕 The knot here doesn't even begin to expand until the penis is unsheathed, whereas in males it may puff up slightly on initial arousal

🌕 Since I did not give her balls, her testes are inside the body where the ovaries would typically be

🌕 insert the part where I tell you alpha sperm does not need to be cool. It can survive higher temperatures which also makes sense considering omegas practically have heat strokes during heat, the sperm would need to be a little tougher.

🌕 But then why do males have balls? I got u fam ! Bc while they can survive in warmer temperatures that does not mean they thrive there. The healthiest swimmers are still kept a little cooler. Female alphas may be less fertile even because of this which could be some fun plot points bc i love female alphas pls write them more

🌕 That was so LONG but I think that's it for her

Male Beta

🌙 The male beta doesn't really have anything super atypical from irl amab bodies.

🌙 The penis of a beta tends to be a lil smaller than an alpha's but bigger than an omegas, but again this isn't always the case!

🌙 We do have a prostate for fun anal times if desired

🌙 Beta sperm is not as heat resistant as alpha sperm. They can impregnate other betas just fine but may struggle with an omega in heat. It's suggested that b/o couples try conceiving outside of heat with the help of fertility experts :>

🌙 Male betas cannot conceive, they have no uterus or vagina

🌙 Betas do not knot!

Female Beta

🌙 Again, not a lot of differences to talk about here, typical afab anatomy

🌙 It is worth noting that in my verse I am not giving female betas periods bc thats mean

🌙 For this reason their endometrium is thinner than ours so the body can reabsorb it without a true heat easier

🌙 I'll also say that beta eggs are just built different for this thinner endometrium

🌙 usually you need a certain thickness for the egg to embed properly to the uterine wall, but imma say that for whatever reason beta eggs are totally chill with a thin lining. They have a better grip or smth ig!

🌙 This allows my girls to get pregnant without an extra added issue due to my silly anatomy choices

🌙 It also makes her different from the female omega which I'll talk about later :))

Male Omega

🌑 Okay ya'll get ready for shitshow number two

🌑 actually the male omega wasn't as bad to figure out mostly bc I stole the idea of the epivagina from the author I linked above the cut!!

🌑 I'll sum up if you don't want to read through the link (you should tho it's really interesting stuff you might wanna use in ur own verse!)

🌑 So like the female alpha there are depictions I don't like when it comes to the male omega. I don't like them not having a uterus and just being... a guy? Like having nothing about them that makes them different than a male beta. Also, like how I said I don't like pregnant alphas, I don't like omegas that can impregnate.

🌑 I'm also not a fan of not giving them a penis and having them only have a vagina and uterus. What makes the two omega genders different then? Breasts? Not a fan tbh considering I like my male omegas to breastfeed with their lil pregnancy boobies (cancer in venus I like boobies and lactation not sorry)

🌑 Basically I want my mpreg and I want my penis too

🌑 So, like the female alpha, we have to give them both parts.

🌑 Since there's not a ton of room between the balls and the anus (the taint is only so big yall) I'm not a fan of just giving them a vulva here

🌑 I'm also not a big fan of the birth canal that develops from the taint when pregnant just bc it doesn't make sense to me that the body just forms and unforms a hole that they have to push out a baby the size of a small melon through. Like in that case pregnancy must be excruciatingly painful on top of pregnancy already being painful and hard

🌑 So... butt babies. Except not quite

🌑 The popular option is the cloaca but... I have issues with that too

🌑 If you read the chapter on male omegas on the ao3 link you can see why. A short cloaca definitely results in poop in the vagina. I don't think I need to explain why poop in the vagina is like the worst thing. As the author points out it also makes it difficult for fun oral time just bc the amount of infections you can get from... constant ass licking/fucking especially bc I haven't seen any male omegas telling their alphas omg wait i need to shower, shit, and have an enema first

🌑 The long cloaca can work ig but then the penis never enters the vagina and thats just not fun. The male omega would never be able to have vaginal sex fr :((

🌑 So I'm going with what the author made up! The epivagina!

🌑 The epivagina is a strong valve-like muscle kinda like the middle labia in alpha females.

🌑 During non horny times the epivagina remains positioned in a way that closes off the vaginal opening. No penetration without literal tearing can take place with it closed. The anus is open and free for poop!

🌑 During heat and arousal the epivagina switches the other way opening the vagina and closing the anus so the opposite is true

🌑 You do not have to be in heat for the vagina to open btw! Just turned on

🌑 During birth we can just assume the sphincters and muscles around this anus and vagina were built for stretching, though it might be recommend for male omegas to anal train a bit to get all our muscles ready for it (there are literally butt plugs the size of a child's head so we can train out asses a lil)

🌑 Now the drawback to this would be that... you cannot have anal with a male omega if he's turned on. Tbh that's okay with me since i'm not really into anal anyway! If it's not okay with u then.. idk change it to fit ur kink babe im not stopping u

🌑 It also kinda acts as a rape defense too in a way.... like a duck if we're not turned on good luck entering the vagina. ofc... the exception to this is heat in heat it's p much always open unless we need to shit rn so ig vaginal rape protection in heat isn't a thing but it's neat outside of heat

🌑 Male omegas do produce very small amounts of sperm but they're such sad little boys it's basically impossible to get pregnant from them. Most of them have clear orgasms if they come from their cocks at all.

🌑 I did raise their balls a bit back into the body. We're still descended but not... exactly the whole way if that makes sense. Our sperm just isn't as cool this way and it's not heat resistant fr!

🌑 Bc omegas get so hot during their heats this can also decrease or fully kill off any remaining sperm production.

🌑 Technically this way you can still get pregnant by a male omega if you're a female beta/omega but.... bc its my verse and I don't really want that I'm gonna say it happens like once in a century it is not really a thing

🌑 The penis here is smaller than anyone else's, but not as small as you'd think. I'm not going the whole micropenis route with them you can still be satisfied through penetration with my male omegas!

🌑 Like the author, I also like the concept of giving them a prostate and an internal clit >:))

🌑 no real reason other than 3 ways for my boys to orgasm and I like it

Female Omega

🌑 Pretty similar to the female beta, not too much difference from irl afab anatomy

🌑 The biggest difference between a female beta and female omega are:

🌑 Slick production (beta's do not produce slick)

🌑 The endometrium

🌑 I gave my beta's a thinner one so their bodies can absorb it and we can avoid menstruation!

🌑 Well in female omegas the endometrium is thicker, about the same as the average one irl or maybe even a little thicker than that.

🌑 Her eggs just aren't as good as gripping just like irl fr, so we need a lot of cushion for them

🌑 especially since female omegas tend to release more than one egg a cycle (2-4 is normal) so if we're all embedding we need more room to do it

🌑 A female omega also can reabsorb her endometrium no worries I am not giving her a period either

🌑 Instead I'm going to say that heat has 3 phases. Pre heat where we get ready for ovulation that lasts about 3-4 days, heat heat which lasts about 1-2 days or less. This is when we are fertile we need to get pregnant NOW, and then post heat which lasts about 3 days where our body temperature is still extremely high and we're still horny and feverous but the egg has passed alas. Its during post heat that we reabsorb and break down the endometrium. Sometimes we might see a little blood a lil spotting yk, but for the most part our heat stroke helps us absorb it idc if that's unreasonable its what imma say

🌑 The term heat usually includes heat and post heat but not pre heat (I mean you get off work for heat and post heat and we use the term heat as a collective to include that 5 or so days but this doesn't include the pre heat) but i'll do a different post for heats later !

I think thats everything if you survived all that thank you for indulging me fr! Feel free to pop in my askbox if you wanna talk about smth and like I said in the beginning feel free to steal but pls credit my diagrams if u use them :))

[lover-of-mine]

Your last post is funny bc just TODAY I watched that season finally. I’m literally 2 episodes into season 5 right now. As someone who just watched that for the first time (and hadn’t noticed it WAS the season finally when I started watching it) I was losing my goddamn MIND watching those episodes. Just constantly 😯😯😯. I began watching 911 when I started seeing posts circulating about Buck being bi. At the time I had no idea who he was other than the occasional gif set but it made me intrigued and I have been HOOKED. Literally trying to get through as many episodes as possible so I can watch the episodes live. Questions for you (since I have no one else to talk to about the show); when did you start watching? Have you had any predictions while watching the show that didn’t/ did come true? Like for me when I watched season 1 and Abby went to the fire department for the first time I SWORE up and down that her and Bobby were meant to be endgame (was clearly wrong lol). But also after Chris got stuck in the Tsunami I called it that something would happy to Harry later on (just a feeling that no one was safe lol, not even the kids). I’m just so curious to see what the fandom theories have been over time lol since I missed out on it!

Yeah, no, watching suspicion/survivors for the first time is WILD. Like, imma be honest and bit oversharing, I watched the show for the first time in a depressive episode, so I watched everything up to 5x10 in like, 6 days according to the posts I made on Tumblr about it, so I didn't realize theorize about anything, I was just hitting next episode like my life depended on it. But I didn't know anything about the show, like, at all, I had just watched 911 lone star in a weekend because it was on the tv and there were only like, 20 episodes of it out it at the time and a network in my country was just showing all of them on a loop, and I opened the Disney app fully intending to rewatch grey's anatomy, and 911 was the first show on my recommended to you list, and I had liked lone star enough, and was like sure why not. And I legit couldn't stop watching. All of this happened the week before 5x11 aired on the us, so 5x11 was the first episode I watched like "live" (the first episode I actually watched live was 5x16) but I watched it in the same week, I think I finished on a Tuesday? And the episode aired on Monday. I can't really give you any theories I have witnessed so far because they would be spoilers tho, but if you wanna come back once you catch up we can talk about some of the madness that goes around here. But I had the same thing happen to me, I didn't realize it was the season finale, and I didn't know anything about the show, so I had no idea what was happening, and I thought I had learned my lesson with the tsunami arc, because I watched 3x01 at like 3 am fully saying this is the last episode I will watch and then I'm gonna go to bed, and then the tsunami hit, and I was like well fuck and then Chris fell in the water and next thing I know is 5 am and Eddie is making me cry at the end there. But I saw the 13 and didn't realize the season only had 14 episodes and then everything kept happening. I seriously cannot imagine what it was like to be forced to wait a week between those 2 episodes it was SO CRAZY. When Eddie got shot I legit froze. Watching that for the first time not knowing it's coming is SOMETHING. I do remember thinking that they were gonna kill Shannon but I didn't expect to be right, I also remember clocking that Jason was Doug pretty fast. Something funny tho, I remember posting that meme that's like "I've had blank for 1 day and a half but if anything happened to him I'd kill everyone in this room and myself" with Buck and I waited until I had been watching for a day and a half, that means I posted it while watching the season 2 finale. I hit post and the truck blew up and I legit went like ????????? and that is still the most ironic thing that ever happened to me while posting about 911 kspskspkspakapkapa (here's the post, I actually came back to edit the tags because I was in shock lol) and I laugh every time I remember that lol but I'm glad you're enjoying the show, you can come back to talk to me about it any time!;

[sp00kies]

Tell me, in full detail, what ur hyper fixated on RIGHT NOW.

im talkin, THE LORE. THE CHARACTERS, THE FAVORITE CHARACTER. EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!! 1! 1! 1! 1! 1! 1! 1! 1! 1!!!!!! 1! 1! 💖

Long post incoming. You have been warned.

I HAVE SO MANY FIXATIONS RIGHT NOW AHHHHHHHH. But y’know? Imma do all of them because I’m built like that 💪

TF2

The fucking LORE AND CHARACTERS MAN. They all have so much character and traits to them…… also the fucking lore is so wild bro.

Abraham Lincoln was the original pyro. Yes, 16TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES ABRAHAM LINCOLN WAS THE ORIGINAL PYRO IN TEAM FORTRESS 2. And he invented rocket jumping!

It amazes me how the community has kept it alive for so long. Not to mention that the game released on the 10th of October, a DAY before I was born! I’m the same age as this game and it’s like one of my all time favorites. It’s destiny y’all.

As for favorite character? MEDIC ALL THE WAY

Adventure Time / Fionna and Cake

THIS FUCKING SHOW MAN AAAAAAAAAAA

The story is beautiful, the relationships are realistic and beautiful, the L O R E. A simple mistake made the Lich inevitable in ALL UNIVERSES, MEANING NO ONE IS SAFE FROM HIM. Not to mention that he has his own universe where he successfully wiped out all existence, except for BMO. BUT EVEN THEN BMO ENDED UP DYING ANYWAY.

Simon and Betty’s relationship is devastating but beautiful and the endless love they still share for each other gets me in the feels EVERY TIME.

I’m so excited for season 2 coming out next year. The ability to be normal is OVER.

Favorites are Simon, Betty, Fionna, and Jake. I love them to bits.

HLVRAI

First hyperfixation of 2020 and it came back. This whole series is comedy gold. The characters rub off each other and the memes that came from this. “HELLO GORDON!!!” is permanently infused into my brain.

Plus this and TF2 made me meet one of my long time online friends/online brother so I owe it a great deal. Wayne is a comedic genius, you guys. This series had me pausing the videos because I kept laughing too hard.

No joke, y’all like need to watch it. All acts and parts are on YouTube, watch it now. Do it, no balls. You won’t.

Legit all of the characters are my favorite but Benrey has a special place in my heart.

Five Nights at Freddy’s

I want you to ask my friends about which movie this year I was most hyped for and they will tell you because I literally did not shut up about the FNAF movie.

FNAF has been my longest hyperfixation, ever since it came out. My family will tell you which game I love because I do NOT shut up about this franchise. Hell when the first trailer for the movie dropped, my whole family asked me when I was gonna watch the movie because they knew DAMN WELL that it didn’t matter how it was gonna happen, I was going to watch that movie. And I did on opening day!

FNAF is so important to me, you guys have like no idea….. this franchise has helped me so much, and I fucking LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU GUYS OMG!!!!!!

Favorite character of all time is my boy Lefty. I love that bear.