#fuck knows i haven't seen 'em but i'm not god. they could be out there

[a-dragons-journal]

Hi, I'm kinda paranoid about this because I know kff are Bad, but I'm pretty sure my kintypes (Velociraptor and alien) are involuntary, but I'm terrified that they secretly aren't and I'm a kff without knowing and I'm harming the otherkin community without knowing. Is this possible, or have I misunderstood the issue?

Short answer: no. The literal meaning of KFF, "kin-for-fun," is calling something "kinning" when you explicitly do not identify as the thing and are just "doing it for fun" (whether "it" be roleplay or faceclaiming or whatever - as long as it's not identification). It's in the literal name of the thing - "kinning for (the purpose of having) fun." If you identify as the thing in question, it by definition cannot be KFF, no matter what else is going on.

Long answer: I want it to be clear that I mean all of this frustration in an "I am so sorry this is happening to you" way, not a "you are in any way at fault for this" way, but: this is perhaps the single worst side effect of the whole KFF debacle, and I hate it, because I genuinely don't know how to fix it when I and most people I see arguing about this are already making every effort to be as clear as possible that this is not what we're talking about and we are still chronically misunderstood, and I cannot figure out how to make it any clearer because it's literally in the name of the thing. It's why we stopped using the word "kinnie" and started using "kin-for-fun," and it's STILL misunderstood.

Being unclear on whether something is really an identity or not is not KFF (otherwise literally everyone who's questioning would be).

Not being sure how voluntary or involuntary a given identity is does not make it KFF.

Identifying as something voluntarily and calling it 'kin does not make you KFF (even if you want to argue that it's not proper to call it 'kin and it should only ever be called 'linking instead, which at this point I disagree with, it's still not KFF).

Having fun with being 'kin and not taking it super seriously a lot of the time does not make you KFF.

Identifying as something "weird" or in a "weird" way - whatever that means - does not make you KFF.

If you understand the meaning of the word, and you find that it fits you, it is none of my business to tell you not to use it. The only time it becomes remotely my business is when someone clearly is working off of misinformation to begin with - ie, "oh, it just means relating to something, I don't ACTUALLY think I'm a wolf lol," which is traceably misinformation stemming from misunderstandings.

[jaidens]

I Could See You In Your Suit And Your Necktie – Pass Me A Note Saying, "Meet me tonight"

pairing [s] : aaron hotchner x fem!reader

warning [s] : smutttyyyy | he's my daddy idec | just absolutely disgusting and unholy | younger reader with salt and pepper hotchy | I don't even know.. all I know is it's big | wrap it before you tap it irl! | some of this stuff Hotch does is illegal on the road, don't do it in real life queens. | i didn't know how to finish it tbh 😭

a/n [s] : for all my hotch girlies.. me too girls. (requests are open)

It was extremely and completely unprofessional for the current actions that were happening. That was all that was running through Aaron's mind whenever he watches the way you tug off the tight button up t-shirt. If anyone found out about the relationship with his team member and the unit-chief he would surely have been fired. However the way you slowly unbuttoned his pants and bit your lip, he would have been gladly fired for you.

It's down right awful the way he lets you pull him apart with your manicured nails and messy hair. It all started with a singular look and a “Yes sir, I'm coming” when he called you into his office. He only needed to ask you a couple questions about a recent incident on the field whenever you grabbed his thigh by accident. However when you walked in, all was left out the door as you flapped your eyelashes.

The professionalism of the situation was wrong, and he could be easily kicked out for taking advantage of his power. The way your lips taste and feel against his makes everything fall apart. He knows nothing further can happen in the office, but he knows that his bedroom and a glass of wine can finish everything.

“Didn’t you have a question for me, sir?” Is all you say when you pull away from his lips. His tie is pulled loose and his lips are a dark pink. “When you—god, touched my thigh on the Craner case. What did that mean? I've been thinking about you since that day. It's like, fuck, I'm an addict for you, baby.” The way the curse and pet name slides out of his mouth like he's always called you that is addicting for you.

“I’ve been thinking about you too sir. Every night before bed.” You whisper in his ear, rilling him up further. Your hips grind against his as you connect his lips to yours again. His hands fall to your ass, massaging gently. “Well. I still have paperwork sir. I'll see you tomorrow.” You push off of him and he writes something on a piece of paper, rips it off, and hands it to you. “Goodbye agent.”

You can't help but smile at him and wave your fingers at him. The strong and broody man grips his own once further and slams his fist against the wooden desk. His tie is loose and you can see the soft mark of your lipstick that rubbed against the white collar. Aaron's normally slicked hair is messy and fluffed against his face.

The paper sits in your hand and you can feel it burning in your back pocket of your black slacks. Whenever you get to your desk, you sit down and you can feel Emily's eyes staring a hole in your head. You turn to look at her and she leans in, “Your lipstick is all over your mouth, and you just went into Hotch’s office. What happened? Are you guys.. y'know...” She makes a motion with her hands that makes you laugh. “Oh my gosh, Em, I just ran my hand down my face. Me and Hotch are not doing anything.” You wink at her and see her mouth drop open. “I totally knew y'all were doing something. Don't think I haven't seen you guys under the tables.”

You shake her off and continue your work as Aaron emerges from his office. He fixed himself up and somehow covered his pink marked collar. “Agents,” He addresses all of you, “You are being allowed to go home early.” You hear a couple cheers and you smile at him and grab your stuff. “I need to get to the station earlier. Recently, the subways have been coming so much earlier.”

You give a hug to Jennifer and Emily before walking away with Spencer. “How has your mom been, Spence?” You ask, holding small talk with him. “Thank you for asking. I called yesterday and the nurses said she's been improving.” He tells you as he presses the elevator button, suddenly Aaron appears behind you, hand slightly touching your lower back.

“That’s great Spencer. I'm glad she's doing better.” Aaron is standing in front of your Spencer as he presses the floor to the parking garage. “Me and Spencer are going to the main entrance. Level one please.” He presses the ‘1’ button and he turns around and stares at you and Spencer. Aaron leans into your ear and tells you dangerously: “Agent Reid is going to the entrance. I'm taking you home tonight.”

It makes you swallow the anxious feeling in your throat and you nod. Aaron straightens back up, fixing his tie. Spencer has subconsciously pushed away into the wall whenever you and Aaron walk out of the elevator and leave him alone. “Bye Spencer! I'll see you tomorrow.” You wave at him and he waves back and gives you a ‘good luck’ look. Spencer had been the only one to find out about your relationship.

He found out after he accidentally walked in the wrong hallway at the wrong time. Spencer was sworn to secrecy by him after you threatened to tell people about his Star Trek boxers. You and Spencer were considered the best friends of the team, other than him and Derek. You had been around the same age and both grew up in California.

“Why the hell would you do that in front of Spencer?” You push away from Aaron’s hands. His eyebrows furrow and he raises an eyebrow. “Excuse me? Get in the car.” His arms cross over his chest and you see the way his suit tightens around his thick arms and the way he can't be bothered with you. It's enthralling and you almost jump into the car.

Aaron's car is sleek with black leather seats and a clean brown etching throughout. He has some soccer stuff in the back seats for Jack, but if anything it's extremely clean for a single father and a five-year old son. Your hand caresses the slick marble look of the Cadillac. Aaron opens the door to the car and turns it on. He puts his case in the back of the car. His head throws back to the seat and he adjusts his hips. Aaron's thick hands pull at his tie and loosen it. You're admiring the older man and the way he looks heavenly in the lights of the car.

Your hands fall to your thighs and you slowly squeeze them to let out your feelings from your face. His hand goes to your thigh and slides into your inner thigh and his thumb rubs gently. He can't dare to turn the radio on to take away the thick silence that wraps around your heads. You're desperately trying not to look at where his hand is as you feel his pinky finger slowly inch to just where you want him.

His name falls from your lips like poison, and Aaron wants all of it.

“Stop teasing Aaron— please touch me..” You stare up at him when his fingers caress the seam on your tight slacks. You open your legs further, and you look over and he doesn't even dare to rip his eyes from the road. His hand pushes away to the waistband of your pants. You unbutton and tug down your pants. He looks over for a second and sees the soft pink underwear you decided to wear that day.

Aaron plays with the small bow on the panties, his hand running across the waistband once more. Eventually, his hand slides in, and he falls to the most sensitive part. Small figure eights he draws on your clit as you mewl out to him. Your hips slide to the feeling and you grab onto his other hand. You can't understand how he has no reaction, and continues stares with a straight face at the empty road in front of him.

Aaron begins to finger you, only one finger inside before he adds another. Your hips grind against his hand and the pleasure almost becomes overwhelming, with the movement in your clit and him fingering you. The thick coil in your stomach is on the edge of snapping as your hips start to push instead of grinding against his hand. “I—I’m gonna cum!” You mumble out and before you know it, you cum with a snap of your hits and a cry.

“Good girl.” Hotch tells you, that voice that can make you cum just from the sound coming out. It's gravely and makes you feel warm everywhere, if you weren't already. Eventually, he pulls into his first class neighborhood, something he had worked for. The neighborhoods where houses have fountains and decorative trees surrounding.

The sleek black car pulls into his house, the garage door opening and letting him in. He shuts the car off and opens your door. Aaron lifts you in his arms, wedding bride style, and takes you inside his house. It's extravagant with huge chandeliers and tall walls and ceilings. He sets you down in the large kitchen island, your ass hitting the cold marble.

His hands reach up your white button and slowly massage your breasts through the lacy draw you decided to wear that day. Your head drops against his shoulder and you kiss gently against his neck. “I want you to fuck me, Aaron.” You tell him staring into his eyes through your eyelashes, pulling on his tie. Aaron lets out a groan and he picks you up on your thighs.

Aaron takes you to his bedroom and you swear it's bigger than your apartment. The bed is king-sized, and only takes up a small part of the room. He practically throws you against the bed, and you bounce on it, before he throws your thighs open. God, you may be strong, but he's making your muscles soft and your thighs shake.

You sit up and unbuckle the belt on his pants and unbuttone his pants and shrug them down. He's big, the tent in his pants is bigger than anything else you've seen. Maybe the 20 year olds you've hooked up before are just not the right ones, but Aaron was girthy. You pull his underwear down and his cock flings out, and you can't help but let your mouth open up.

You let your hand run up and down on his dick, rubbing his tip with your thumb. You spit in your hand, and jerk him off more, sucking softly on his top once more and licking off the precum. Aaron's hand goes to the back of your head, holding you against his dick. You mumble out once more whenever you fly up to kiss his lips and say: “I need you to fuck me now, I've already said it.”

He pushes you down against the pillows and jerks himself off a little more before opening your thighs. Aaron puts his dick in the right place and slides into you, and you cry out as he bottoms out against you. Your arms go around his neck and grab on before he slowly moves in and out. You cry out his name once he starts moving quicker, finding the pace that made you cry out the most and scratch your nails against his back.

“So good! Please Aaron, harder!” You and Aaron are clashing hips, the sound of your body hitting against each other is all you hear. He pulls your legs up on your shoulders, readjusting you until it's comfortable, and he fucks you harder than he already was. You're crying out his name as you cum and the stickiness falls throughout your body and hits the bed, but rubs against your hips and ass.

Aaron cums a few minutes later, with a groan into your neck. You're holding onto each other while your chests fall up and down in an attempt to catch your breath. “Fuck— that was amazing.” Is all you can say, and Aaron agrees. He clasps his lips against yours and you clash lips dangerously. He falls against you and you hold onto each other. Your eyes become heavy with sleep after the wild night and you fall asleep against his shoulder.

[howlingday]

Lib(er)el Media

Lisa: There you are, Rose! Where have you been?!

Ruby: Sorry, Mrs. Lavender! I got here as fast as the wind could take me. I got those pictures of The Red Hero for you.

Lisa: Mm, okay, let's see what you have. It's a good thing you showed up, because we're still trying to figure out the title for today's headline.

Lisa: Ah, perfect! "The Red Hero and Roman Torchwick Rampage City!"

Ruby: What?! I-I mean, hang on just a second, Mrs. Lavender, but I'm pretty sure The Red Hero was trying to stop Roman Torchwick!

Lisa: And look at all the damage she caused! By the Brothers, Rose, how many times do I have to explain that Vale News Network doesn't operate on opinions, but on facts!

Ruby: Oh, come on! You can't blame everything on The Red Hero.

Lisa: Oh no? Watch me, then maybe you'll realize that if you looked just a bit deeper, you'll see that everything wrong with Vale can traced back to that flower petal fleecer! Someone give me a story!

Weiss: Statistics show that car jackings are at an all-time high.

Lisa: "The Red Hero Does Nothing to Stop Car Jackings!"

Ruby: W-Wait, hang on. That's not fair-

Weiss: The Stinger broke out of prison.

Lisa: "The Red Hero Lets Bad Guy Friends Get Away!"

Ruby: Now hold on a second-

Weiss: The headmaster of Beacon Academy was diagnosed with cancer.

Lisa: My god...

Ruby: See, Mrs. Lavender! It's just not possible that-

Lisa: ...The Red Hero gave that poor bastard cancer.

Ruby: ...How?

Lisa: "The Red Hero Giving People Cancer!" That's the best headline I've heard in my life!

Ruby: How would she even do that, though?!

Lisa: Ah, you're not opening your mind to the possibilities, Rose! She can split into tiny rose petals, so you shouldn't put anything past her! C'mon! Keep 'em coming!

Weiss: Uh, people have been throwing trash into the ocean.

Lisa: "The Red Hero Pollutes Remnant Water Supply!"

Ruby: Mrs. Lavender, just hold on-!

Weiss: Dust sales went up 15%.

Lisa: "The Red Hero Raises Dust Prices!"

Ruby: How would she- Actually, you know, it might not be a bad thing. I mean, those miners are being treated so poorly, so maybe she's looking out for them?

Lisa: Damn, I didn't think of that. "The Red Hero Ranked Worst Humanitarian on Remnant!"

Ruby: Are you honestly telling me The Red Hero cares less about people than Jacques fucking Schnee?!

Lisa: Now you see the problem!

Ruby: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!

Weiss: Taxes are up.

Lisa: "The Red Hero Raises Taxes!"

Weiss: There's a lot of gang violence.

Lisa: "The Red Hero Leading Gang War!"

Weiss: Uh, my nana is in the hospital.

Lisa: "The Red Hero Wants to Kill Your Grandma!"

Weiss: Oh! There's been an increase in Grimm activity!

Lisa: BINGO! We have a winner! "The Red Hero Hates-"

Ruby: ENOUGH!

Lisa: Excuse me-

Ruby: NO! You listen to me, Lavender! People rely on our network for the news, for their information! It's people like you in your position that makes the average citizen lose faith in everything in this world. You're a worse person than you make The Red Hero out to be. Dammit, Lisa, how can you stand for this?

Lisa: I can't.

Ruby: O-Oh! So there is reasoning with you!

Lisa: No, Rose, I mean I can't stand. Like, at all. Physically, I cannot stand.

Ruby: You... You can't stand?

Lisa: Honestly, Rose, when was the last time you saw Lisa Lavender standing up and walking around? NOT behind this desk or the camera? I have been sitting for so long that my legs don't work.

Ruby: Oh god...

Lisa: I eat, sleep, and shit here, Rose. You wonder why I'm so pissed off at the world? At The Red Hero? Because I'm sitting here, paralyzed, while she's out there, flying around all fucking carefree.

Ruby: But why-

Lisa: I haven't seen my husband in three years, Rose! But he understands that! He understands the kind of woman I am to make sacrifices like- (Phone rings) Oh, speak of the Grimm! He's probably calling to congratulate me on my pursuit of the truth!

Lisa: (Picks up) Hello, Roman! ...Yes? ...Yes. ...Alright, thank you. (Hangs up)

Lisa: New headline; "The Red Hero Ends Marriage of 22 Years".

Ruby: ...

Lisa: Tagline; "He's taking the kids."

[queerxqueen]

What bothers me the most about all of this is how the fandom really has exposed it's toxic homophobia. Fake allies, people claiming they're LGBT+ but then treating others in the community like garbage by sending hate mail and making fun of us. Why are we called "delusional" and "crazy" for thinking it could happen? I haven't seen people call R*nance or St*ddie shippers crazy. Byler happening is not the biggest impossibility, especially considering how Will is in love with Mike.

(Same anon) Why does the LGBT+ community constantly have to defend themselves for wanting more representation? Robin is amazing rep, very well written and awesome, but just because we have her doesn't mean we should only have one token gay character and her love interest that we've barely seen. Why can't we want a great childhood friends to lovers story in ST? I'm tired of being called delusional or crazy for wanting and liking a more well written relationship than their unhealthy canon one.

you're SO right and i talked about homophobia in the fandom outside of tumblr in this post but i've seen SO much casual homophobia across the fandom spaces i'm in (twitter, reddit, tiktok) in regards to byler so let's just knock 'em out, speed round style

"Mike can't be gay because he likes El" = bi erasure and ignorant of comphet experiences pls read a book

"shipping is for fun and for fanfiction not for the real show" = god forbid we see ourselves in characters and want to see ourselves represented in fiction 

“robin is amazing representation ur being ungrateful and making it about gay white boys” = LITERALLY shut ur mouth im sorry that on a show with a giant cast i could possibly want more than 1 or even 2 queer characters, sorry for wanting various narratives about being queer rather than just 1

"it's the 80s it's not realistic" = gay people existed in the 80s you utter moron

*assumption that will will get rejected without considering any other possibilities* = WHY are you so okay with seeing queer people suffer?? do you think you should unpack that in therapy bestie???

“its a scifi show not romance” = where is that energy for every other straight ship in the show then??? like shut up, yes it’s a monster show but at it’s core it’s about friendship, growing up, etc and if you only see it as a horror scifi show you’re probably missing the fucking point

anyway i’ve been lucky to not have any angry melvins or homophobes in my inbox on tumblr and i like to think it’s because they know i’d tear them a new asshole for trying but this is just stuff i’ve seen peripherally on reddit/twitter :/

[jannwrites]

movie ask meme : JACOB'S LADDER (1990) directed by BRUCE JOEL RUBIN.

a selection of lines from the 1990 film jacob's ladder. modified slightly for rp purposes.

don't leave me.

yeah, you and everyone else.

fuck off! mind your own business!

i didn't want to wake you.

it is tomorrow. four a.m. how come you're so late?

why can't you remember their names?

they're biblical. they were prophets.

i don't let anybody call me that.

you're a real heathen, you know that, [name]?

you sold your soul, remember? that's what you told me.

is that the one who died?

sorry. it just took me by surprise. i didn't expect to see him this morning. god, what i wouldn't ...

he was the cutest little guy. like an angel, you know. he had this smile ...

i don't like things that make you cry.

it's amazing, huh [name]? your whole life, right in front of you.

they're gonna get me. they'll tear me to pieces.

i never hurt anybody when i was alive.

i don't understand you philosophers.

she said you were a son of a bitch and she regrets the day she set eyes on you.

i think she still loves you.

my brain is too small an organ to comprehend this chaos.

you know, you look like an angel, [name], an overgrown cherub. anyone ever tell you that?

this city is filled with creatures. everywhere.

they're like demons, [name].

it's the pressure, honey. that's all it is.

those guys tried to kill me tonight. they were aiming right at me.

says here the world's comin' to an end. the battle of heaven and hell they call it.

listen to me. i'm going out of my fucking mind here.

let me look at your hand.

according to this, you're already dead.

you are out of your mind, man. out of your fuckin' mind.

[name], you little devil. you never told me you could dance like that.

i wanna leave. get me out of here.

go to hell! go to hell, goddamn you!

if you go crazy on me you're goin' crazy by yourself. you understand?

there were all these demons and i was on fire.

i thought you said it was a nightmare?

i'm not going anywhere. i'm right here, [name].

come on, go back to sleep. you can still get a couple of hours.

you must have friends in high places, that's all i can say.

it's not worth it. you'll never win.

how many times can you die, huh?

god i hate this area. makes me nervous.

i'm not sure where i can talk anymore.

something's wrong, [name]. i don't know what it is but i can't talk to anybody about it.

you always used to listen, you know?

they've been followin' me. they're comin' outta the walls.

sometimes i think i'm just gonna jump outta my skin.

i don't know who they are, or what they are. but they're gonna get me and i'm scared, [name].

it's like i was coming apart at the seams.

they keep telling me i'm already dead, that they're gonna tear me apart, piece by piece, and throw me into the fire.

it's like they're crawling out of my brain.

he saw these creatures coming out of the woodwork. they were tryin' to get him, he said.

it's not worth goin' over again and again. whatever happened, happened. it's over.

i'm gettin' a headache just listenin' to you.

so tell me. am i still an angel?

this is your home. you're dead.

i'm not dead. i am not dead.

this is not a dream! this is my life.

i was in hell. i've been there. it's horrible. i don't want to die, [name].

you're a regular basket case, you know that?

you know what eckart said? the only thing that burns in hell is the part of you that won't let go of your life; your memories, your attachments. they burn 'em all away.

they're not punishing you. they're freeing your soul.

i'm not here. you haven't seen me.

the truth can kill, my friend.

hey, i'm not the problem. you've got bigger problems than me.

don't fight it. it's your own mind. it's your own fears.

it's hard to believe that the world could be so hellish on day and like heaven the next.

i love you when you're angry.

hello, [name]. i knew you'd come here in the end.

your capacity for self-delusion is remarkable.

you're a real dreamer, you know that? only it's time to wake up.

if you're frightened of dying you'll see devils tearing you apart. if you've made your peace then they're angels freeing you from the world.

[distant--shadow]

get to know meme

lil thing where I'll give a bit too much detail so it fills its purpose, honoured honestly to be tagged by three of my favourite writers in this space @sharkodactyl, @unicyclehippo , and @astoriacolumnstaircase - anyone reading this should be reading their works instead.

favourite colour: brown(s), like a mid to a dark tone, i like them to have a bit of red involved. like our old-boy chet, I love the wood. my dream home would be all wood-panelled with built in inlayed and set back shelves and nooks a plenty and yeah just full of brik-a-brak. otherwise my favourite colours are navy blue and greens that are more mixed with blue than yellow, teals and emeralds and once again generally around the mid tones. green makes me very happy. moss and outdoors and all that.

currently reading: fic. haha. (suss my recommend reading tag) I did venture out to my (very) local queer bookshop and asked them for something that won't send me on a spiral if I'm already on one/provide some escapism and they reccomended river of teeth by Sarah gailey. anyone I've said about it to seems real enthusiastic about it, I am not well read at all when it comes to published things, tend to just get really into a few fandom authors works and picking them apart (rereading a lot) . still haven't started it but maybe I'll try take it out to the park in the next week or so. I'm dabbling in reading (and unfortunately writing) poetry thanks to @picturesofthegoneworlds and @blorbotomy 's influence, those mini books are fun to keep on you when out and about, poem or two on a tree stump or boulder with a grand vista and a brain that wants eyes on a phone screen.

last song: last song I consciously (not background music) listened to was:

I went on an early lord snow stint the other night because the air smelt crisp and there was a nice chill. they have remained my favourite heavy (as a broad term) band for a decade now.

I used to have music on all of the time, whether that be cd's at home or in my mp3 player (that I still take out with me) but these days I find listening more of an intentional activity and I prefer to have people just nattering when I'm at home and want background noise. think it's where my heads at and I've just got more sensitive to being overstimulated I guess. I was also pretty good at going to a live gig at least once a week before I did my back in, looking forward to getting into that habit again.

last series: I don't watch much stuff outside of critical role, least other than YouTube videos I'll put on whislt I'm drawing. oh wait yeah I ordered 3 seasons of xena on ebay because it's like a couple of quid a season and it is a real good comfort show and fucking amazing. I hadn't seen it since I was pre teen and it was on day time TV and I'd catch it on sick days. the amount of people I've brought it up to these past few months who've been so stoked to be reminded of it/eager to watch it with me is actually hilarious.

last movie: uhhhh God movies I watch even less. I haven't been to a cinema in over 12 years now, just not my thing, and it's funny caus my mum used to work in the film and TV industry and we had shelves and shelves full of VHS growing up (mostly bootlegged) and she can just ramble about pretty much any early era film up to the stuff from the 80s (when she was working on em) for days. never could sit through em, never felt satisfied with how the story went. guess that's why actual play appeals to me. but saying all this I did rewatch Bound for the first time since I was like 15 last month or so, enjoyed it a lot more than I did back then.

sweet/savory/spicy: savory all day. I am a salt fiend. I used to think I'd be fortunate enough to die from my salt intake. I'll put it on anything. cereal, toast, fruit. I think the other day I noted the one thing I wouldn't put it on, but I can't recall that right now honestly. it's gotta be decent salt too, sea salt or rock salt that has some texture and delicious flavour, I'm not fucking with that table salt shit. I carry salt with me in a mini mason jar everywhere I go, saves when you only have access to bland cold supermarket food. one of my earliest memories is when I was like 6 I had had my daily 1 glass allowance of squash/fruit cordial in my white Tom and Jerry printed beaker with the accordion bendy straw and so when I was pouring myself a glass of water from the tap I put salt in it caus I wanted flavour that would not show through the white translucent container. it's all been downhill from there, although I also, luckily I guess caus otherwise I would be really fucked, do drink a lot of water.

currently working on: myself and healing. hah. I never realised how much paperwork and phone calls came with this maintenance shit. I'm still out of work, and my mental health has taken a huge hit from not being able to do the things I usually would. so right now I'm just trying to keep everything together. I can draw again though, so sorry about that.

I never know who to tag in these things caus I don't think everyone wants to do them. so I'll go with this being open invite as always. hope anyone who read this far is having a good week, and sentiment is still there even if you didn't read this (unless you don't deserve my well wishes, then fuck you.)

[iantimony]

tuesdaypost evening

if i have to do any more homework i'm for real going to super mario throw myself into the sun

listening: more borodin...some breaking benjamin...FINALLY FINISHED FRIENDS AT THE TABLE PARTIZAN HOLIDAY EPISODES......what a fucking episode dude. i was doing dishes while i listened to that and fully stopped and stood there for like 10 minutes while The Scene with clem and gur sevraq played...the music in that scene.....just wow. incredible. i did not know that jack and keith played different characters for the rest of the season so i'm looking forward to meeting them, first arc after the holiday special is thisbe valence and si so i haven't seen either of them yet...very excited for that though.

reading: Why Don't We Just Kill the Kid In the Omelas Hole" by Isabel J. Kim - very neat short story. commentary on the way we live these days. ough.

watching: managed to tune into some of the fatt stream tonight haha...very fun...more dunmesh and kill la kill...

playing: i keep forgetting to put ttrpg stuff here. unfortunately it is all dnd at the moment. every other week i do dnd 3 days in a row which might kill me actually! two of them are online, one of which i run, and the one i do in person i'm just a player, so it's like ... not THAT bad ..... this past weekend one of the three got moved so it was just the one i run and the one in-person. the one i run is. well. first of all i'm stealing at least my initial story stuff from mdzs. second of all wow these are some guys of all time. tl;dr, we are talking some romance subplots that are frankly none of my business, god bless 'em, they can go do their love triangle (quadrangle??) in the out-of-game rp channel on the discord, and also there is the biggest tittied bird lady you could possibly imagine.

making: english paper piecing!!! gonna do a border in a solid teal fabric and then do the lining! this is going to be a dice bag probably? :)

oh! and pottery from last week! technically these came out of the kiln before the new year but i didn't get back to the studio til last wednesday.

first: what i'm affectionately calling my Mold Bowl because it looks like. this.

then eye bowl number one, which needs to go back in the kiln actually because a little bit of ? kiln medium ??? got flung into it and it's not smooth so i need to dremel it down and re-glaze the little spot

and finally, eye bowl number two, more of a cup really! i really really love how the inside glaze came out. i'm gonna make a little set of teacups like this but with all that glaze.

eating: roommate made a braised eggplant, pork, and mushroom thing that i've been eating for like three days. sooo good. i also got some chocolates from a local candy shop, including hot pepper dark chocolate stars (they are quite spicy!) and 'chocolate covered honeycomb candy' which i never had before but am now obsessed with. the texture...

misc: the amount of busy work i have to do this semester to finish the masters degree requirements? terrible. agony. i miss free time.

[lover-girl-estxx]

Reader x one of the Diaz brothers.

Smut 🙏🏻🔥

Work

(N40 R24)

Nick, Nate and some others walked into my office building, for a meeting with my boss about their gym. Me and Nick have been dating / hooking up for a few months now with no one knowing and I haven't seen him in two weeks so to say I'm horny is an understatement.

I watched at that table and through the glass walls of the meeting room. My seat at my desk has a perfect view of him

Y: you look hot

He looked down at his phone

Nicky🔥: don't

Y: think you may need a helping hand

Nicky🔥: y/n don't

I saw him move in his seat, as my desk phone started to ring

"this is y/n!"

Y: I want you

"could you come sit in this meeting for a bit?" My boss asked

Nicky🔥: I'm being serious

Y: I'm coming

Nicky🔥: ???

"yeah I'll be right there!"

I opened the meeting room glass door "you can sit by Mr. Diaz" my boss said I smiled and sat next to Nick. My boss started to talk again and I ran my hand over Nicks lap, he moved my hand. I moved my hand back and rubbed him up and down this time he let me gripping the table.

He was close by the way his fist balled , my hand went in his waistband band really touching him "Nick what do you think?" Nate asked "um W-what?" "The back drop?" "Oh what y-yeah" he ran a hand over his face as he came "you good?" His brother asked "just tired" he mumbled they threw a folder over to me "fill that out your good to go" I nodded and grabbed it with my clean hand.

Nick watched me as I walked out I turned walking backwards sucking his off my fingers.

Y:sorry guess you did need that hand🤷‍♀️

He came in shutting my office door locking it "hi" I smirked "don't act all innocent now," he picked me up on the desk kissing me, he flipped me over. He pushed my skirt up to see I had no panties on "god your a whore" I smile as he kicked between my heeled feet spreading my legs.

"fuck!" He was going hard and fast not caring about the loud sound of skin slapping "Nick it's so fucking good" I put a hand over my mouth "no let everyone know how much of a slut you are" I moaned as he moved my hand. "Please don't stop" "I won't mamas your to fucking tight" he wrapped his arm my waist.

"I'm gonna cum! You're so deep!!!" I moan loudly cumming as my legs shake he came too, he laid on me "you okay? Was that too much?" "Baby it's great" I smiled and stood up kissing him "you should go before someone knows your in here" "no no I want em to know You're my girl now" I smiled "really?" He nodded "okay my old man I kissed him.

[1800duckhotline]

I'm sorry in advance to everyone tired of me talking about salice constantly but I was thinking really hard yesterday also that if she was a bg3 companion when you get into the thorm family mausoleum, she's very reactive to rhe myrkulite offerings and straight up says something like.

"Sloppy work. Only Myrkulite fanatics could do something this indecorous. Not at all surprised." "Ugh, this is such a waste of blood and bones. An offering to Myrkul? Don't make me laugh."

She really fucking hates people who worship him because she thinks he's a false god, a flat out charlatan. her dialogue when encountering the likes of balthazar is equally spiteful because she thinks his necromancy is sloppy and imperfect as well as laughable.

With investigation checks succeeding she can also give more insight, but even if she fails one she can still comment on it.

"Even Red Wizards could do something better than this... Hm. Well, maybe not. I'm being excessively generous."

This is because salices belief of necromancy is so cemented in how her grandmother taught her of it, with it being a mix of mad science and magic. If you talk to her in the mausoleum, but also after meeting balthazar you'd be able to talk to her about it. I think you would only get this if you've at least a medium approval rating tho.

Don't make fun of my writing as I'm going off of stream of consciousness. But something like:

Tav: "You looked like you knew quite a bit of those bone sculptures in the mausoleum./You looked miffed when we spoke to Balthazar."

Salice: "Yeah? And so I did. What, you wanna know why?"

Tav: "If you want to share."

Salice: "Hmph. (pause and a sigh) Sure, why not. I'll let you in on it, only if you're going to promise me not to overreact about it."

"I'm not exactly thrilled to let everybody know my business."

Tav: "I promise. Just tell me, it might be useful to know."

Salice: "Oh, I wouldn't go that far. It's all petty business. But I'll tell you anyway."

"Truth is, I've always been very... studious when it comes to necromancy. I've studied a great deal of it when since when I was young."

"My grandmother is a necromancer. Runs in the family, skips a generation, that sort of thing. She's the one who taught me everything I would need to know when I was a little squirt."

"She wouldn't call herself a necromancer, if asked. She calls herself a researcher, a scientist. But if you ask me, she is a necromancer. I always assumed she wants to avoid the prejudice around that title."

"Long story short: she never found reliability in following the doctrine of Myrkul, warning me against it. Same goes for the necromancy practiced by the Red Wizards of Thay."

"She hates 'em both. And I do too."

Tav: "Do you really believe it? Your grandmother could've been biased for her own beenfit."

Salice: "Now, I get what you're hinting at. You say: But Salice! How would you know? She's hungry for power like every other one of them, blah blah blah. All'a that."

"She is not. You haven't seen her work. Or read her scientific reports. I did."

"So, trust me when I say that necromancy can be practiced well, with fair intentions. And that these people are complete charlatans."

"Or don't, I suppose, I don't particularly care. Like I said, petty business. Believe what you want."

"Now, you got other, perhaps serious business you want to talk about, or can we move on?"

I could go on writing fake dialogues like this forever they spin in my head perpetually. If i was in possess of such power i would make a companion mod just to put her in the fucking game but alas

[xxsp3llb0undxx]

Your Life Has Only Just Begun - Cullen Clan x GN!Reader ,, Embry Call x GN!Reader (Part 10)

TW: Blood ,, Curse words ,, heartbreak ,, mentions of suicide,,

Summary: Reader finds out Embry imprinted on them, overjoyed with the feeling of finally being loved, they confess their feelings for him. But neither of them knew, things were going to go so very wrong for them.

--------------------------------------------------

It has been a few days since y/n had been released from the hospital, everything was going well for them and the pack. It was raining outside today, the weather brought a sense of calmness to the reservation. The pack were messing around with each other, they were supposed to be on patrol but Sam gave in and let the them have some fun for once. Jacob and y/n were sat on the stairs leading to the house, his arm around them to keep them warm. "Is Bella your imprint? I've seen the way you look at her, there's just pure love in your eyes when she's around." How was he supposed to tell them he hadn't imprinted yet. Would they think it's embarrassing and feel sympathetic for him? Y/n looked at Jacob, waiting for an answer, their eyes lighting up when he looked back at them. "I haven't imprinted yet, I thought Bella was the one but maybe I'm just in love with the idea of her being mine." Jacob didn't want any sympathy from them, he just wanted someone he could love for the rest of his life. "Don't worry, Jake. You'll find your imprint soon, I bet she's looking for you right now!" The sincerity in their voice made warmth spread throughout his heart, he was truly grateful to have y/n in his life.

"I'm glad Embry has you, it must be nice knowing your imprint lives in the same house." Jacob fucked up. He wasn't supposed to tell them Embry imprinted on them. Panic settled in the pit of his stomach, he was so dead. "Embry imprinted on me?" The happiness in their voice and the soft smile on their face eased the anxiety Jacob was feeling. He could only nod, fearing his voice would give out on him. Y/n patted Jacob's shoulder as they got up off the stairs, on a mission to find the grey furred wolf. They spotted him with Paul in the middle of the rest of the pack, they were fooling around with each other. Y/n made their way over to the two boys telling Embry they needed to talk to him, the young wolf ran behind the house and changed back into his human form, fully dressed. "What's up? Are you-" He was interrupted by their lips against his, he started to blush as he kissed them back. Was he imagining this happening? God he hoped not. They pulled away from each other, breathing a little heavier than before. "What was that for?" A smile started to grown on his face, he hoped y/n liked him back. "I know I'm your imprint, Em. Why didn't you tell me?" Embry looked behind him, Jacob still sat on the stairs. He huffed as he looked back at the love of his life in front of him "I'm sorry, I was just scared you wouldn't love me back, I mean Edward loves you and I just thought you would chose him over me."

Y/n brought Embry into a hug, holding him close to their body "I will always choose you, Em. You're my life, no vampire could ever get me to love them more than you." The two lovers didn't notice the pack watching them, smiles adorned their faces as they watched the interaction; happy for Embry to have his best friend as his imprint. But the happiness was short lived, Sam told everyone to meet at the treaty line as the Cullens wanted to discuss something. Once everyone was together, Carlisle told the pack that a new born army was coming and they going to war with them over Bella. They needed the wolves help, they always do. Jasper offered to train them to fight the new born army, the Cullens needed as much help as they could possibly get; Sam spoke to the pack about it and they agreed they would only help for the sake of the humans. "We might need the help of you, y/n. If that's okay with you and the pack." Embry got defensive at that comment, he would not let the love of his life get hurt for the benefit of the Cullens. "They will not be apart of this fight, they are only human." Edward scoffed at what he said, y/n was his imprint yet he didn't know about their gift, he thought it was funny to say the least.

"What's so funny? Do you want to get them killed?" The pack were now on high alert, y/n might not be a shifter like them but they still accepted them into their hearts and home. The pack needed to protect y/n at all costs. "I'm guessing they never told you?" A bitter laugh rumbled through Edwards chest, y/n couldn't understand why he was being like this. They kept their gift a secret because they didn't want the pack looking at them differently. All eyes were now on y/n, they couldn't describe how uncomfortable it made them. Jasper sensing how they were feeling, he used his powers to make them feel more calm. Y/n sent a small smile to him as a way of saying thank you, how were they going to tell the pack? "I, I don't really know what to say. I have this gift where I can share my emotions with those around, it sounds stupid I know but hear me out. When I first stayed at the Cullens house, I was feeling so overwhelmed my emotions started seeping out of me in a cloud of smoke. It soon made them feel everything I was feeling, if I could just harness it in some way I could possibly make the new borns feel an immense amount of pain, just enough to distract them so you guys can do what you will."

Embry brought y/n into his side, holding them close to him. "If you want to help, you can but you have to stay by my side at all times, is that okay?" They nodded their head, at least they would be safe during the fight. Edward glared at the pair, their love for each other making him sick. Jasper told the pack to meet in the field past the forest in four days, that's when they were apparently going to be here. They all started training for the next few days, under the supervision of Jasper of course, it was tiring but they had to do it to protect Bella and everyone else in Forks. They couldn't let an army of blood thirsty vampires destroy their homes and loved ones, Sam wouldn't allow that to happen. Y/n had extra training with Jasper, Carlisle and Sam, to be able to control their emotions and harness it into something bigger to use against the new borns. After every training session, y/n would go back to the reservation and tell the pack everything they had learnt. Embry was terrified something could happen to them during the fight but after hearing about their gifts improving more and more as the days went on, he was slowly becoming a little less scared and instead, more confident they would win.

The day finally came, the pack in their wolf forms along side the Cullens. Bella's blood was spread around the field to confuse the new borns, she was with Edward up in the mountain; it was the only way to keep her safe and out of harms way. "They're coming." Everyone got ready, but they were met with silence. No scent in the air to know if they were there. Moments later, a herd of vicious new borns came running into the field, led by Riley Biers; the boy who went missing not too long ago. The fight begun. The wolves had an upper hand, until one of the new borns cornered Leah, he was about to get a hold of her until Jacob came and knocked him down. They fought each other for what seemed like hours, that was until he took a hold of Jacob from behind, the sound of breaking bones filled the air. The sight made y/n sick to their stomach, there was destruction all around. Their friends and family all losing to the army. Searing hot hatred ran through y/n's veins, their eyes going pitch black. Without a second thought, a blood curdling scream erupted out of their throat, clouds of thick smoke surrounding the new borns; one by one they all cry out for help, the pain too much for them to handle. The smell of fire and blood mixed together filled the air, the new borns were engulfed in black flames, their cries drowned out by the birds squawking in the sky as they flew by. Y/n collapsed to the ground, the new born army no longer a threat to them or mankind. Distorted voices could be heard all around, unable to decipher what was being said.

The Cullens all went home after the battle, Carlisle went with the pack to the reservation to help Jacob before the healing process started kicking in, his broken ribs causing him to cry out of pain as Carlisle had to rebreak a few for them to heal properly. The morphine didn't help, the pain was still evidently there. Bella came to visit him once Jacob had the all clear from Carlisle, she felt guilty for letting him join in with the battle; she begged him to stay with her but he knew he had to protect his pack. A few days later, Jacob's ribs were fully mended, he was still dealing with the small amounts of agony but it was bearable. After the fight when y/n collapsed, they fell into a coma, their powers being too strong to withhold. Embry would sit by their side all day and night, waiting for the moment their eyes would open and they would smile up at him. But his wish was unfulfilled, weeks passed and they were still in the same state; he knew it was a bad idea for them to be involved in all of this but he also didn't want to be apart from them. With a tear stained face, he left the room. He left behind the love of his life, he couldn't bare with the loss of them, he knew their body was still here but their mind and soul were elsewhere and he couldn't deal with it. He changed into his wolf form and ran, ran until he was at the clearing, the place they first met. All the memories he had with y/n, slowly started to gnaw away at his brain; how would he be able to continue on with his life if they weren't with him?

Tears escaped his eyes, his heart shattering into a million pieces. With one last breath, he howled to the world. His brothers and sister would hear him, they would feel the despair, the heartbreak, the feeling of loss. It all pained them to see him this way, they never expected it to end like this. Soon the Cullens caught wind of Y/n's health rapidly decreasing during their coma state, Edward didn't want to believe it, he couldn't lose his true mate. Guilt swarmed his heart, if he were to lose them; he might as well just go to the Volturi and ask them to kill him. He couldn't bare a life without them either. Carlisle could only think of one thing that could help speed up the process of y/n waking up, it wasn't the best solution but it was all he could do. He asked for permission from Sam to change them, He didn't want y/n to turn into a cold one but he also didn't want Embry to kill himself if they died either. So he gave Carlisle permission to do it, he just hoped he wouldn't regret it.

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Taglist: @caityrayeraye @idttcf @unicornicopia1 @saltydreamerdreamland @skyhold1992-fr @crazyhearttragedy @iloveslasher @lazuli-leenabride @its-la-push @twihard08

Chapter 10 finished !! I hope you're enjoying the series so far, please let me know if this chapter was good or not. Have a lovely day/night !

MASTERLIST CULLENS

[skylarstark4826]

It is not the day of the Battle of the Tree of Souls, nor the next day, but some night not too long after. It is a night where Hell's Gate is mostly empty and as silent as it ever gets; the generators and systems hum, the few humans left have tucked themselves away in lab, room, or bed.

Trudy and Norm are in the latter group. Behind the locked door of the small apartment they share, they are sprawled out over their bed, tangled up in sheets and bathed in the bars of blue light from Polyphemus. He has one knee propped up; she is curled up facing him, head resting against that knee. They had been talking, but now there is silence. A silence that isn't quite silent, not with the faint whirrings of the machines that are keeping them alive, but it's the only silence they've really known. It is also their own kind of silence; or rather, the comfort she carries around with her that doesn't mind the silence he often falls into.

It's silent until Norm breaks it, until he says, "I killed people. At the battle."

Trudy frowns, slightly, but doesn't move. "Okay."

He's studying the ceiling, aware of her but not looking– maybe unable to look – at her. He can feel the warmth of her, the movement of her chest as she breathes in and out. She's alive, which is why he says, "I thought you were dead."

It's all he's ever really said about the battle in these past few, crazy days, so she says, "I know, baby." And then she says, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I mean, uh, I mean you're not, which…I'm glad about. Really glad. But-"

Silence again, this time heavy with the strain of him trying to sort out the words, find which ones to say.

Softly, Trudy says, "Is that why you killed? Because you thought I was dead?"

"Yes. No. I'd…I'd shot some before that. Three, maybe four I know. But it was different, after. I don't, um."

"Tell me."

Now he looks at her. "What if I can't?"

"Then you can't. But you know, of the two us, I got no room not listenin', if that's what you're worried about."

"I killed them."

"I've been a professional soldier since I was eighteen, Norm. I've seen a lot of bad shit. I've done a lot of bad shit. I'm…" She stops, rubs her mouth. "I'm not gonna pack my things and go, no matter what you say. Not gonna judge."

"You've killed." It's not really a question. Her smile is fleeting, but very wry.

"Hell yeah," she says softly.

"How…how do you deal with it?" In those words is a depth of guilt, of confusion and pain that is very familiar to her. That soft, wry smile comes back, and she leans forward slightly to curl her fingers around his hand.

"I rationalize. That's all you can ever do. I just…I accept that I did what I did, that I did what I had to do under the circumstances."

"You just accept?"

"No. Yes. I'm getting better at it. When I was a kid…fuck, when I was kid, first time, I was really bad at it. Then I got better, then I got sent on mid-deployment break, and…God, I was tempted to run down to Peru and live with my Da rather than go back."

He's heard about her father, her book-bound father who lives in the past; he's heard fondness in her voice when she's talked about him, but also a kind of resigned contempt.

"Why didn't you?"

Trudy snorts slightly. "Hell. Couldn't let my mates down, now, could I? Couldn't just leave 'em. So I stopped cryin', went back."

"Just like that?"

"Once I made the decision, I made it." She takes a deep breath and then adds, "But I've been very well trained in killing. You haven't. Surprised you managed to, actually. Most folk wouldn't."

She doesn't say it as a good thing, she doesn't say it as a bad, she just says it as is. It's enough to get his curiosity.

"Don't tell me they've done studies."

"Oh, you bet they've done studies. Up to and including the Second World War, fifteen to twenty percent only will fire, under….the old way of trainin'. I'm guessin' that's just who naturally can pull the trigger, because sure as hell the old ways of trainin' weren't much good at actually getting folk to kill. Old Marshall worked that one out. His methods weren't all ship-shape and scientific, but other studies have backed it up since." She shifts slightly, rubbing her cheek against his knee almost like a cat. "So, various armies changed the way they trained their grunts. By Korean War in the nineteen-fifties, they got a firin' rate of fifty percent. By the time of the clusterfuck of Vietnam, it was over ninety percent. Now days…it's pretty much close to a hundred."

Norm nods, slowly. He's back to studying the ceiling, but instead of mentally withdrawing, his thoughts are here and now and on her words. And on what her words mean.

"But not a complete hundred percent."

"No."

"Okay."

Her eyes narrow slightly – even in the blue light, he can see that much. "Y'know the seven stages of grief?"

"Useful as a base for understanding, but not as a list to hand people, ye-es?"

"There's one for killing."

He goes still, and then he sits up, moving slightly away from her in the process. Unsure if that was deliberate or not, Trudy also sits up properly, her hands resting on her thighs.

"Only, the killing response table's got five main sections, from beforehand right through t'after," she continues. "Concern about being able to kill, the killing circumstance, the exhilaration from killing, remorse and nausea from killing, then the rationalization and acceptance process." She takes a breath, tries to gage his reaction. But he just has that faint frown, and she can't tell. "If…if y'get fixated in any of those, and the acceptance fails, then…you get post-traumatic stress disorder, basically. But-"

"Exhilaration?"

"…yeah. That…rush y'get. That satisfaction." Trudy is bilingual, with other bits and pieces of other languages floating around her skull, but she can't find the right word. Rush, satisfaction; killing could be a high that could also, on occasion, be damn near orgasmic.

Sometimes.

(those were the times where, afterwards, she would stumble to the nearest spare toilet or patch of ground, and start to heave)

"You've felt it."

"Yeah. I have. I do. Not always, but I do."

"And that's normal?"

"Yes."

"I felt that," Norm says, slowly. "It was like a computer game at first, ride in and fire and they fell. I was the only one firing a gun, so I know it-it was me. But it didn't seem quite real. Bang, bang, the pixels fall down." He's not looking at her; he's studying his hands. She remembers him looking at her hands after he watched her butcher a hexapede, running his fingers over hers. She remembers watching his expression: yes, these are the same hands that guide her Samson with such subtlety and joy; yes, these are the same hands with which she draws and creates; yes, these are the same hands that she uses to make him gasp and moan; yes, these are also a killer's hands.

He has a similar expression now, but one tinged with far more uncertainty. His large hands could be so graceful, and normally were so precise and careful; now, these were hands that had held a rifle and killed.

Carefully, Trudy edges closer on the bed, and reaches out to cup his hands in hers. She has an artist's long fingers, but even so, her hands are noticeably smaller. This doesn't change the protective way her hands cradle his. "And then?" Trudy asks, softly.

"And then…I heard you, on the radio." (Norm, I love you) "And then, you were gone, and I got- my Avatar - got shot. I came to in the link, and…they were dead. I'd decided, in my head, that the Marines were all…dead. You were gone, and they'd killed you, and they'd killed Grace and so many others, and, they had to go as well."

Her fingers tighten around his. "Honey, I'm sorry." She brings his hands up to her mouth and kisses his knuckles. "I'm so sorry."

"You didn't kill them."

"…not the ones you did, no. But I killed others."

"Then…why…"

"Because…because I think that when you kill someone, you kill a part of yourself. And that's not somethin' I wish on anyone, let alone you."

"Why me in particular?"

"Because I love you. And I never wanted you to have to deal with all this shit."

"It felt…good, killing them. I was so angry." Angry wasn't a very good word to describe it; he could barely think, it had all hurt so damn much. So much grief and rage, that nonetheless couldn't stop him from remembering what he did and felt all so clearly.

"I know." Her voice is a whisper. "Trust me, I know."

"There were two. I shot one, in the back, the other turned, and…I shot her, too. There was a third, but then…" He laughs, the sound soft and leeched of all amusement. "Then Eywa stepped in, and the third ran, and was killed by a hammerhead." Now Norm looks at her again. "I'm a scientist, Trudy. Not…not a soldier. Worst I ever got was some fist-fights, and then…not many. And that's normal. But this…I. Like you said, most people don't shoot."

"It just means that you're part of the fifth percent of the population who can. Doesn't mean anythin' else. One in five people aren't…bad because of that."

"I feel bad." The sheer understatement of the word is made clear by his voice.

"Oh, Norm, no." She moves until she's on his lap, framing his face in her hands. "No, you're a good man. I know this."

He reaches up and curls his hands around her wrists. "How? How do you know, Trudy? You've known me for three. Months."

"Why were you fighting?" she retorts. "Tell me, Doctor Spellman, why were you fighting in the first place?"

"Because…" He falters, both under the sudden intensity of her expression and the confusion of his normally organised mind. "Because the Na'vi needed our help. Because…because it was the right thing to do." He sounds a little uncertain.

"And wouldn't a bad man just…take the money, turn a blind eye, not do anything. You're not trained, you're not a soldier, and, hell, I've known soldiers to baulk and refuse to go out into a gunfight. But you…defended the Na'vi, in a battle we thought we were gonna lose. It was the right-" Norm kisses her, which is not an answer. He kisses her first awkwardly, and then with an uncharacteristic hardness. He lets go of her wrists to pull her close, one hand on her neck and the other digging into her back. And Trudy responds, only to be left gasping a moment later as he stops. He presses his face against the join of her shoulder and neck, his breathing coming fast and uneven. Carefully, Trudy wraps her arms around him, turns her head to kiss his hair. She can feel the wetness of his tears, and part of her is glad. He needs to speak of what he did, he needs to lance the emotional boil of pain and guilt so he can move on, rationalize, accept and not let it eat him up.

And she wishes, oh how she wishes he did not have to deal with this at all. But Trudy is above all things pragmatic, and it does no good to wish for what was, and what it would have been nice if. The plots of vegetable gardens around the Avatar compound have been neglected, she knows, and he'll need something steady to occupy him tomorrow. Later, they'll talk again, and maybe she'll mention there are still some deaths that haunt her, that sometimes when she shuts her eyes it's a damn slideshow of things she can't get out of her head. She'll mention that because he should know, and he should know that it's okay to still have things like that. And, yeah, she'll also mention it because she really isn't always as okay as she acts. Later, after the gardens have been seen to. Gardens and plants always helped her, back on Earth, but along with that… Well, their relationship started due to a love of this land. In the end, there isn't a lot Trudy wouldn't do to keep death and battle from devouring the foundations of what they have.

But right here and right now, Trudy kisses Norm's hair, and whispers that it's alright, that she's not leavin', and she holds him close as he cries.

[sharksa-shivers]

Stuff with Nucleo and OH dump cuz i said i would the other day

So...These involve the 2 derpos in the title, just a grab bag of stuff with them (and perhaps...Both of them doing shit together as well hmmm) But i should post some seperate too especially OH cuz i haven't spoken about her as much as i should be you could say that about alot of characters tho tbfh... ---------

(Sharky having to ask OH for cash on the phone, all 3 of em are broke)

Orange Hair:(answering her phone, we see the screen split so we can see both Sharky and Orange talking, Orange working with some chemicals and Sharky leaning up against a building, him just walking around as they talk)Hello?

Sharky:(obviously having to work up a bit of nerve, we can see he's obviously kind of anxious about this)Heyyyyyy, uh…So…I'm just gonna cut to it and not waste your time and blah blah blah, uh…Look, can i have like…500 bucks? Please?

Orange:(raises an eyebrow)500? What for?

Sharky:(anxious, trying to keep it cool and together)Uh, gas money, food money, hotel money, supplies like bullets and stuff…Uhhh, very not cheap stuff that we need andddd collectively all 3 of us together have…(pulls money out of jacket pocket)…12 dollars and 67 cents…and yknowwwww, kinda got like another day of travel ahead andddddd-

Orange:(we see her think for a moment before she just…turns this shit on its head)Hmmm……….Yeah- uhhhhhh…No.

Sharky:(he sits a moment)…..What? No?

Orange:(repeats)No. Nope. Non. Nien. Nada. Natu. No. What? You didn't hear me?

Sharky:(we just see him kind of snap a small bit)I…….Orange, i…We really need money!!!!

Orange:(working with her chemicals, writing down info)Ok…….The answer is still no.

Sharky:(nerves snapping mentally continues, getting kind of pissed and frustrated)Literally why?????? You're a multi-millionaire!!!! $500 is pennies for you!!!!!!

Orange:(unphased by his frustration)Pretty simple, gotta learn to deal with problems like this sooner or later, especially when it comes to demon fighting. You have any idea how many times i've had demons steal my cash and leave me fucked? It's gonna happen sooner or later and you 3 are gonna have to know how to deal with it. Life's fucking rough, it's how it is.

Sharky:(breaking)We literally do not have money for a place to sleep or food!!!! We have 12 fuckin dollars!!!!!

Orange:(unphased still)You got a car and i'm sure you 3 can figure out some resource for food…You're all very smart, you can do this very easily, i've seen the shit Max alone can do.

Sharky:(freaking out)Do you have any idea the amount of danger this puts us in???? Like…Any idea at all????

Orange:(stares blankly)Uhhh, yes? Very much so. Yes. Mmhmmm…If it gets too deadly or whatever, i'll bail you guys out butttttt since it's not there yet, seems like perfect survival experience time here to me…

Sharky:(he just kinda sits there in disbelief)………

Orange:(annoyed)You done yet? Can i get back to my work now?

Sharky:(he just kind of falters and accepts the answer, knowing he can't fight her)…….Yeah, guess i'm done…

Orange:(picking up her phone)Excellent, excellent…You 3 stay safe out there, don't come home dead please.

Sharky:(annoyed as fuck, freaking out)Yeah, sure, i'll try…

Orange:(finger on the button)Alrighty then, goodbye…

(We see her cut the line and Sharky's just there staring at his phone…We see him mutter "Shit!" Under his breath and then we cut back to Max and Kristy chilling in the car…)

Kristy:(boredly messing with her hair)…You think maybe like…I dunno, i could go for a different style by now or?

Max:(on his phone, rapidly typing)Uhhhh, maybe!!! That's kinda up to you, i don't really know much about human hairstyles and whatnot…

Kristy:(looking at herself in the visor mirror)Like…I like this being shoulder length and sometimes i wanna cut it but if i don't like it, then i have to wait like…a few months for it to grow out again so like… (Sharky opens his door and flops into the drivers seat, frustrated)

Sharky:(stressed as fuck)God…FUCKIN damnit…Fuck…

Kristy:(concerned)Wait, what happened?

Max:(looking up, texting)Is OH gonna be making this a pain in the ass again?

Sharky:(nods)YEP, SHE SURE IS!!!! She said she isn't gonna give us anything, she wants US to survive on our own, fucking…Fuck!!!!

Kristy:(eyes widen)What???

Max:(just kinda stares, he seems kind of unphased but he wasn't expecting this exactly)…Welp…

Kristy:(confused)Literally how and why???? Wait, what???? She has so much cash, she literally wouldn't even miss it!!!!!

Sharky:(Leans back, mentally tired)She pushed it basically as "this is part of the job!" Kinda shit, i tried going at it from that angle, didn't do shit.

Max:(annoyed, texting, looks up)Gonna just ask, does uhhhh, does Orange know that when people say "eat the rich" that DOES INCLUDE her or? Cuz uhhhh, i'm just saying, she's making that sound quite tempting and uhhhhh…I wouldn't hesitate…

Kristy:(just looks back at Max, gives him a weird look)……What?

Max:(smirks)You heard me.

Sharky:(frustrated)Look, doesn't matter, she's not gonna fucking help, we have to figure out something else to do…

Kristy:(thinking, she perks up)Wait, we could ask Nucleo!!!

Max:(typing on his phone)I got him on speed dial, hold up…

Sharky:(just gazes over)No, God, don't be bothering Nucleo okay???

Max:(confused)Why not? He helped us last time.

Kristy:(remembering)He did but…Wait, Orange also got onto him for that, uhhh…I…Don't wanna get him in trouble again…

Max:(amused)Nucleo legit daydreams about Orange punching and kicking him in the face, it'd be fine. It's his like…Kink or whatever…

Sharky:(getting more annoyed)No!!! It's not fine!!! Just!!!! (Trying to calm down, let's out a big breath)Let's just…Try and figure out a way to deal with this that doesn't involve dragging other people into this okay????

Max:(on his shit)Capitalism literally cannot exist without you dragging othe-

Sharky:(snapping again)I KNOW ABOUT CAPITALISM BEING SHIT MAX, HOLY FUCK, CAN YOU BOTH JUST STOP FOR 5 SECONDS???? LOVE OF POSEIDON!!!!!!! ------------------------ The Captain: I don't understand how the fuck you can put up with her…

Nucleo: ………………Yknow you're right actually, FUCK Orange Hair, she can fuckin deal with shit herself, fuck her…

The Captain: ………..Wait, you're serious? (just stares at a stonefaced Nucleo)………Oh fuck, you…You are serious, holy shit…Goddamn, ok then… ------------------------

(We see Nucleo walking into the lab only to see OH has fallen asleep at her desk, papers strewn about everywhere while she snores…Nucleo decides to try and help, knowing that's probably not the best place for her to sleep…)

Nucleo:(trying to be cheerful, shakes her shoulders a bit, amused)Hey sleepy, wanna maybe sleep in your bed instead of the table?

OH:(Orange jolts up, her eyes purple from not sleeping for a while, shaking her head to wake up before quickly shoving Nucleo off)Thanks for waking me up, need to get back to work now though, i have to figure out this-

Nucleo:(he's very quick and as she reaches out for some of her papers, he quickly makes a radiation shield around them, making them unaccessible to her, hand on her shoulder)I kinda think it'd be better if you took a break…When was the last time you slept?

OH:(annoyed, tries to think)…….Last week? I don't know, lost track of the days…

Nucleo:(questioning)You even eat recently? Shower? You do anything not work related for even an hour lately or?

OH:(her eyes shifting more and more as Nucleo goes down the list, annoyed, getting up)Ok, ok, ok, fuck, fine…I'll go waste time and…"self care" i guess…

Nucleo:(crossing his arms, following her to make sure she goes)Not really a waste if you're gonna fall into needing these things at some point anyway. All this work crap will be waiting after you take a break, you need it. You can't save the world from demons if you're falling asleep at the wheel…

OH:(annoyed as she goes downstairs to her basement bedroom)You sound like those damn kids bickering at each other…

Nucleo:(smirking)Good, they got good points and they look out for each other. Good qualities to have.

OH:(annoyed, closing her bedroom door)Yeah yeah, welp. Night i guess… ------------------------ (OH getting out and giving Max a full ass flamethrower)

OH:(glaring him in the eyes before giving it to him)You be fucking careful and responsible with this or it'll be my fire you'll be worrying about, understand me?

Max:(nods)Yes ma'am, got it.

OH:(nods back, handing it over)Good.

Max:(holding it as Orange gets other weapons down, looking at the flamethrower in sheer awe and admiration)…….I don't think i have ever felt more allo then i do holding this gun, oh my god, i think i'm actually in love…

OH:(just responding as she's busy)Yes, it is quite a beautiful gun isn't it? Will certainly be useful for the upcoming mission i have planned out for you 3… -------------------------- (We see Nucleo waiting at the bottom of the stairs in the main cabin with a coffee he bought, him talking with Amber as he waits on Max and Kristy to come down. Nucleo is in charge atm of taking the 2 Trio derps somewhere (probs for a mission or whatever) )

Nucleo:(talking with Amber, trying to understand a bit)So what's up again exactly? Like…Why do i have to do this on my day off? Like, i guess i don't understand why Sharky can't do this…

Amber:(explaining a bit as she's busy on the couch, folding laundry)I told Orange Sharky wasn't really in the best state to be driving in, he told me earlier he went to Pink Fin and got some meds, he woke up very sick and was throwing up so…Yeah, doing a mission is the last thing he needs to be doing right now…So he's probably asleep right now, resting up.

Nucleo:(understanding but still questioning)Ok, got that. So…Why can't this all just be pushed back altogether? Like why does this all need to be done TODAY then?

Amber:(busily folding)You're probably gonna have to take that one up with Orange…(hears a timer go off in the kitchen, quickly gets up) Oh! There's my bread timer, hold that thought!! (Runs into the kitchen to deal with that)

Nucleo:(sighs, annoyed before calling out to the derps)……HEY, YOU KIDS ALMOST READY OR WHAT?????

Max:(from the upstairs bathroom)YEAH, JUST NEEDA FINISH SHAVING, HOLD UP!!!!! I NEED THE TIME TO LOOK GOOD!!!!

Kristy:(quickly, heading downstairs in a rush)Yep!!!! I'm fully ready-!!!!!

(As Kristy goes downstairs she ends up tripping and hitting Nucleo, his coffee flying out of his hands however Nucleo is very quick and is able to catch the cup, lid and liquid in levitation magic, stopping it all from hitting the ground)

Kristy:(standing up again, in awe that Nucleo was able to do that, watching him guide the liquid back into the cup and then put the lid back on)…….Wowwwww, holy shit… Nucleo:(smirking)Yeah, you're lucky i have the skills to do that, paid like 6 bucks, for this…(calling out again)MAX, CMON!!!!

Max:(yelling back)I'M TRYING TO HURRY, GODDAMNIT!!!!!! ---------------------- (OH and Kristy are driving somewhere. OH is smoking and she has the windows up so Kristy's just coughing on the fumes)

Kristy:(glares over)Do you have to be smoking in the car like this???

OH:(looks over)I mean, you can leave…

Kristy:(stares in confusion)Leave? Orange, we're on a highway!!! In a damn thunderstorm!!!!! Where am i supposed to go?????

OH:(smoking, lets smoke out of her mouth, shrugs)I dunno but you can leave. Not like i'm holding you hostage or anything…

Kristy:(pissed)YOU LITERALLY KIDNAPPED ME, YOU DID THAT, WHAT THE FUCK?????? ------------------------- (We see a very tired as fuck Orange Hair come downstairs, her apparently just waking up. We see Amber cleaning up things after breakfast as OH comes down and opens the fridge to get a drink. Orange's hair was obviously down beforehand and now is in a big ass tangled ratsnest knot…)

Amber:(as OH closes the fridge door, pulling out a sports drink(like a gatorade or something)a bit startled by the state of her hair, questioning)Uhhhh, Orange, your hair…Ummmm…

OH:(she tiredly blows a bang out of her face before her hair ignites in a firey orange glow, OH whipping it back out straight and back into its usual form, that hurricane esc style. Stares at Amber)That better?

Amber:(nods, trying to be very nice)Yeah! That looks great!

OH:(opening up her drink, tired)Good. I never worry about that shit, i'm a living hair straighter with my magic…And hair curler if i wanted to i guess…Point is, i've got heat built in, easy fixes. I don't care. ------------------------ (OH and Kristy in a fight over some shit)

Orange:(pissed)That is an ORDER Kristy, i expect you to FOLLOW IT!!!!!

Kristy:(at her snapping point, pissed as fuck and enraged)Maybe you should follow THIS!!!!!!!!!! (Within a quick snap, Kristy makes a very big and powerful green colored ray ball of energy and shoots it directly at OH, hitting her dead on without any warning and nailing THE FUCK out of her, actually sending Orange back into a wall and crashing cracks into it with the force of Orange hitting it………and the entire room goes silent as Kristy's eyes narrow at what she just did along with Orange seeming like that did do some sort of pain/damage to her as she peels herself off the wall, leaving an imprint…)

Max:(just leaning towards Kristy, his eyes narrowed and locked on OH)……Pretty sure she's gonna kill you for that…

Kristy:(scrambling for words, scared)I, Orange, i'm sooooooo sorry, you're right, i should just be following orders from you, you're right, you-

Orange:(recovering, brushing walldust off her jacket, her gaze steady but calmer)……Actually, yknow what? ……..I'm proud of you for that one, you put some force into that, took me off guard and actually did some damage…Good work Kristy, i expect more of that from you…

Kristy:(just staring)…….I'm sorry, what?

Orange:(annoyed)Just take the damn compliment kid, sheesh… --------------------------

(thinkin bout that ep where Max is a depressive wreck and Nucleo's taking him to a Sunrises concert to try and help him feel better which uhhhh yeahhhhh, not…Not gonna be as easy as that…)

Max:(coming downstairs to see Nucleo in his punk get-up while Max is in his Sunrises hoodie, Max stares at Nucleo very confused and his depression is still veryyyyy much there in his tone)…What are you wearing?

Nucleo:(cheerful and excited for the concert)This is my punk get-up!! I dunno bout you but i'm ready to rock!!

Max:(staring very confused, tired)……..Nucleo, this isn't a rock show we're going to…

Nucleo:(stops, staring at Max, confused)…Wait, what? I thought it was? Sunrises isn't a punk band?

Max:(staring still, shakes his head)No…Sunrises is one enby peep that makes dubstep music from their basement…This is more like…a rave concert i guess you'd call it or…Something…

Nucleo:(taking that in)………Oh…….Welp uhhhh, hold on a second, i guess i'll take some of this off then so i'll fit in better with ya…I'm leaving the make up though hehe… ---------------------------- (Nucleo's fighting this rando cult shadowdemon and is thoroughly pissed the fuck off after all the shit that's been going on…)

Shadowcult member:(smirking with a murderous intent, says the thing that pushes Nucleo over the edge)That's alot of talk for a pretty little plant mer like yourself…

Nucleo:(he's had e-fucking-nough so he proceeds to do some dark shit, he grabs the shadowdemons face and blasts pure radiation magic in their face, enough to cause major major damage, skin and hair falling off as the shadowdemon screams in agony…Nucleo lets go and the shadowdemon falls, screaming and flailing around as their skin melts, Nucleo just glares, tired and pissed off, his veins glowing green)…Maybe that'll help you remember i'm a radiation mer actually…Tell your friends i got more for em if they try that stupidass shit again… --------------------------- (We see Nucleo mad dash running into the garage area, stopping whenever he sees Sharketa who's busy looking for something in the clutter…)

Nucleo:(upset, seeing Sharky's car is gone)Shit!!!! Fuck!!!! I'm too late, fuck!!!! (notices Sharketa)Sharketa!!! Quick, did Sharky or Kristy or Max say where they were going or?????

Sharketa:(worried by his discomposure)Uhhhh, no? I…Or…I thought i heard Kristy say something about downtown? I think? Why?

Nucleo:(frantic)Ughhh!!!! Long story but OH doing shit again!!! I think there's a chance she might have slipped some explosives in some of their supplies!!!!

Sharketa:(immediately alarmed)WAIT, WHAT????? DID SHE DO THAT ON PURPOSE???????? WHAT THE FUCK?????

Nucleo:(frantic, scared, anxious)Fuck, again, long story!!!! I can explain later, i just need to fucking get to them and fast, fuck!!!!!(eyes light up at one of the motorcycles in the garage, rushing over to it, pulling it out of clutter, grabbing some keys with his magic and a helmet, putting the helmet on, ripping off his labcoat, speaking quickly)If anybody asks, i'm going after them, i don't have alot of time, i need to get to them ASAP!!!

Sharketa:(anxious, worried as fuck now)Do you even know how to ride a motorcycle????

Nucleo:(getting on and turning it on, anxious as fuck)Nope!!! I guess i'm learning today!!!! I've ridden a bike before though so uhhhh, i assume they're at least similar enough!!!! Can't think about that now, i gotta go!!!! The fucking things i do for you damn kids!!!!!

(Before Sharketa can respond again to that, we see Nucleo rev up the engine and speed off, him skidding some as he's obviously not fucking used to it, oof…) ------------------------ (Ok...I like this one but i am...Trying to decide if it's physically possible for Nucleo TO get drunk...Cuz like...Posion immunities, disease immunitys, idk, what do you think? Can he get drunk or no? lmaoooo)

(Late at night, idfk what context is butttt i imagine Nucleo brought some alcohol over and got a little tipsy (i can see him doing that whenever stress gets to be too much or he just wants to relax a bit but i can't see Nucleo really getting flatout shitfaced often, probs more just tipsy/light drunk sometimes.))

Nucleo:(amused, slightly drunk so he's kinda out of it)So what you're saying is that short men DO have rights? So what you're saying in general is that there's a chance?

OH:(Just staring, trying to work still)………You have been talking to yourself for like an hour and half straight, please just go home…

Nucleo:(smirking, drunk)Probably not a good idea cuz immmmmmm kinda drunk hehehehehe…

OH:(working)Which is why i'd get Sharky to take you home or something, just…Please, i'm trying to work…

Nucleo:(annoyed, snarky)You're always fuckin working…You never do fuckin anything else… --------------------- Nucleo:(questioning)……..Are you actually jealous of me or…?

Orange Hair:(She sits a moment before she actually says something pretty out there for herself)……….You know……Yeah………Maybe i am a bit……….

Nucleo:(taken aback but he tries to hold it together for her sake)……..How? You're so much higher up on the society ladder then i am, you're literally a living legend at this point, a multi millionaire, what could i have that you don't???

Orange Hair:(sits a moment, looks him dead in the eyes)……..Happiness……..You actually see a point in life, you can see the beauty in it, the value of your own life……..And……….I can't do that…………I don't ever say it but…….There's not a day that goes by that i don't think i'd be better off dead……..So…………

Nucleo:(sits there, taking that in…And they both sit in silence, him not knowing what to say to that…) ------------------- ...One last one for the road maybe lol --- (We see The Captain looking around the hotel room for Nucleo and being unable to find him until a thought crosses his mind. We cut shots to him sliding open their hotel door. We can see that they actually have a bit of a backyard with this hotel room and as such of having a bit of room, we see a pool and a jacuzzi. The jacuzzi is one of the ones you have to cover and uncover and we see it uncovered, we also see it's a decently deep jacuzzi and that the bubbles going and the water glowing…But we don't see anyone above water…Until Nucleo rises to the surface, leaning back and relaxing…shirtless and in his merform, his tailfin tips sticking out of the water, obviously having a nice time by himself…Which is when The Captain approaches and Nucleo notices him there.)

Nucleo:(his face falling, annoyed)Oh Neptune damnit, what did Orange do now???

The Captain:(stares)Uh, nothing i was aware of, wasn't here to talk about her…

Nucleo:(a bit annoyed but his face softens a bit, relieved)Well guess there's that then…Did you need something then? Do i have to get out? Cuz i haven't been in my merform in a really long while and i just wanna relax, enjoy my lemonade here and the water…

The Captain:(shrugs as he stands there)Eh, just kinda bored. Wanted some company i guess…

Nucleo:(thinks for a moment, just accepting The Captain being here now)That's fine then i suppose as long as you don't expect me to move or get out…Kind of a long process so…(drinks some of his lemonade before putting it down again and sinking some into the water) The Captain:(we see him staring at Nucleo's tail)Y'know…I could see mertails every day i don't think i'd ever get used to it. It just always feels like my minds playing tricks on me or something…

Nucleo:(flicking his tail in the water, obviously happy to be using it)Can't relate since i was born with it. If anything, legs are more of a mindfuck to me. Took me a while to get good at using mine. Like, i'm used to it now but like ehhhh… ------------------------ Wowie!! Angst and stuff with The Captain too tho...(Who i am in the process of redesigning again cuz fuckin yeah, old design is...Not as good as it could be, don't worry, he's still gon be like 57 cuz yeah ofc.) Also the face-melting thing... 1. Radiation is not a good thing to mess with and 2. Nucleo can be an absolute beast if he wanted to be. Just cuz he's weak powered strength-wise does not mean he cannot do damage cuz he absolutely can and does in the series. We're going up against a murder cult of demons, they kinda have it coming tbh lmao... In closing:

[thegeminisage]

i really hate to be critical of zelda at all - i don't consume it in the way i would for example s*pernatural - where i am mad half the time and constantly throwing shit at the writers. zelda is like, My Happy Place. and i especially don't want to feel at all critical of a new game prior to playing it or before i finish it for the first time. i wanna do the first time in complete & total bliss as god intended. THAT BEING SAID...

it actually is kind of making me miss botw!! sorry!!!

firstly, the next time i hear someone say "totk is just botw but better" i am going to bite their face off. botw and totk do take place in the same hyrule, but they are completely separate games. i'm actually shocked at how many mechanics from botw don't exist in totk - the champion abilities have been changed, bombs work differently, there's no stasis or cryonis, etc etc

and ALL of the sheikah stuff has been straight up wiped out of the game as well, which changes a lot of the vibe. i know people really didn't like the divine beasts overall, but the totk dungeons are just the same thing with a different aesthetic, and it's really missing the like...they're BEASTS, you know? they move around. they're haunted. they got ghosts in em. for all the claims that totk is darker, it actually feels way more optimistic, because everyone always comes together to solve problems (which i LOVE i am not criticizing that choice!! but it is wildly different than in botw)

i complained a little at the time about botw's memories all taking place in the past, and there being no real story set in the present-day, but actually, after playing totk...it almost worked better that way! don't get me wrong, i love that this game is fuller and there's more going on, i'm absolutely going nuts over the story so far, but it felt like there was really not any "wrong" order to see the botw memories in, whereas the totk memories feel much more like there IS a right order, even if that order is nonlinear.

and like my absolute number one complaint re botw was the map. it's a perfect map, and it was a blast to explore, but now that i've seen it i feel like i've seen it. you know?? like when i replayed botw some of the joy was lost, because they designed it specifically so that the joy IS in exploration, and i explored it all already. i didn't 100% my first file, on the wii u, but after i 100%ed it on the switch, i had 100%ed it. and yeah like parts of this map are different (so far the biggest difference is in death mountain imo), and yes they've added caves and sky islands and the depths, but the caves and sky islands are tiny compared to the rest of the world, and the depths are the depths.

idk, like i know part of this is because i got about 70% of the way through the story and ground myself to a halt so i could do deep exploration re: shrines, seeds, etc to get stronger (the game gets harder every time you beat a dungeon and i am having my ass kicked constantly). and like what i'm exploring is the surface, which has remained the same in many places, especially the remote places one finds korok seeds. korok seeds are definitely the least fun you can have playing zelda, even if it still is a zelda game and a good time. but it is suuuch a bummer to for example like climb to the top of gutcheck rock and find it uninhabited or see kass's house standing empty. (his ass better be in some DLC.) the map wasn't made for totk, it was made for botw, and they did do a great job but in just a few places it's still an ill fit.

AND FINALLY, it is really annoying how people don't know link - the scrubbed sheikah stuff - like all these changes made specifically not to alienate people who haven't played botw are alienating people who HAVE. or me and mc at least lol. if the joy is seeing how hyrule's changed since you've been away, and the answer is "actually it forgot you, but not in a deliberate cool way that would fuck you up, just in a frustrating way," that's a let-down. NOT TO MENTION the lore-breaking going on...veteran players and youtube guys will be scratching their heads all the way up until the next one comes out.

idk!! most of the time this game blows my mind, because it's an expansion of botw, which was so good and so special - truly the same kind of lightning-in-a-bottle stuff oot was made of, and i don't hand that sort of praise out lightly. but sometimes i feel as though i'm playing botw2 and not totk and i'm like "man after 4 years is this really It?" and like yeah this is It. it's a great game and i'm still having fun - i fucking love my hoverbike - but it's just not QUITE as special or as elegant/tied together as botw was - its story was simple but i'm starting to appreciate that simplicity as being essential to a story with absolutely no fat on it whatsoever. and a simple story does help in not, you know, BREAKING YOUR OWN LORE.

you never know though! maybe after i see more cutscenes and hunt less koroks i will change my mind! i definitely hope so

[idle-compy]

alright!! I am done for tonight

here's my defintely super comprehensible live thoughts while playing

** SPOILERS BELOW **

DARIUS I MISSED U

SHIT

oh nvm thought I killed him already

ben why u running off

TO GO EAT BUGS OF COURSE

DARIUS NO

MY BOY

I KILLED HIM

DO NOT CHOOSE RUN NOW

ooh they mentioned owen

who's the old guy

probably good time to mention I haven't seen any of the jw movies so if he's relevant I have no idea

heck yeah I'm bringing bumpy

WHY DOES MY AUDIO KEEP CUTTING OUT EVERY TIME I MAKE A DECISION STOP

nothing good ever happens in the tunnel so we're going to main street !!

I DIDNT LIKE THAT LOOK

SHIT BLUE

BEN WHY DID U SPLIT UP MAN

HA BUMPY SAVED HIM I CHOSE RIGHT BRINGING HER

MAIN STREET

oh no it's rexy

OH NO SHE FOUND THE KIDS

wow they're bad a hiding

DARIUS DO NOT GO AFTER THE PAGE SIR

darius THIS SEEMS LIKE A REALLY BAD IDEA

ben actually excited to drive the gyrosphere

wow ok he rear ended yaz and sammy license revoked sir

DAMN YAZ IS TEARING INTO HIS SOUL

a fine example of my road rage tho

YAZ SAMMY NO THEY'RE GONNA BE CRUSHED

sorry ben not trusting u ramming that gyrosphere sounds fun

WAIT NO

I SHOULDVE TRUSTED U BEN IM SORRY

now he's dead 😔

my current kill count is 3 I am doing very bad

THE CONSTANT NABS AT DARIUS AND HIS SMELL

that sounds like a clue for later can't wait to forget it

TNE TARBOS BACK

heck yeah coaster time

KENJIS FACE

they've been steady making fun of the parks safety protocols and ykw as they should

darius u are NOT jumping in that water

I guess he IS jumping in that water bc if he doesn't they all die

TARBOS BACK AGAIN ???

oh nvm she left

kenji was so confident 1234 would work

AND THE TARBOS BACK AGAIN GEEZ

THE ANSWERS 2005 I GUESS RIGHT

the way I'd immediately move into that bunker

this brimford man already has more outfit changes than the kids

he straight talking truth tho

theyre so happy :')

----

GONNA RESTART but choose everything different

so either choice darius just fucking falls

OH BUT DIFFERENT CAMPERS FOUND HIM

sorry bumps ir staying behind this time

dang they found the paper so much sooner without her

aw darius gave her hope her pack was still alive

SPOOKY TUNNELS

oh everyone's fighting

"I could tell a joke or hit em with a super cool dino fact" DARIUS UR SO PURE

yes sammy use that corn maze sense

KENJIS GETTING SAVAGED BY THOSE THINGS GEEZ

"raptor rats"

I saw sneaking past in a clip I'm retacing their steps

OH GOD I KILLED DARIUS AGAIN

guess they're NOT retracing their steps

"did u know ankylosauruses like mangoes 👍😀👍" "I did not 👍😀👍"

NOT THE CAR BEING A RIDE

everyone else on the ride: 😒

sammy and yaz: 😀

WHY DO CARS ALWAYS FLIP WHEN YAZ IS BEHIND THE WHEEL

TORO BABY ITS U AGAIN

"I'll be fine! ... probably"

DARIUS BUD I KNOW I CHOSE THIS OPTION BUT WHY

WHY WOULD THEY LOCK TORO IN THERE WITH THE TARBO SYOP TORTURING HIM

THE DRUMROLL I DIDNT GET THAT FIRST TIME

ben said forget eating bumpy gets mangoes

going back again just to see what escaping before going in the bunker does

oh they still survive ??

but they didn't get any food :(

"what one food would u want in it"

"coffee"

"I could go for a carob juice"

"teriyaki beef jerky"

"can you freeze dry pizza"

"canned lobster in butter sauce"

"I'd go for my mom's famous..."

crying

[deadmandairyland]

Damn, it's really been a while since I've done this, huh? But I never forgot about it. How could I? It's such a brilliant idea for an alignment chart! So without further ado, here's the glorious return of

THE PRO WRESTLING FAN ALIGNMENT CHART: DANGANRONPA V3 EDITION!!!

(Skipping DR3 mostly because it's been way too long since I've seen it and I already had a hard enough time doing this with characters I am more familiar with)

Some quick explanations for those of you who need them... which is probably everyone:

Mark: Pro wrestling target audience

Smark: Pro wrestling fandom (into behind-the-scenes stuff, "know-it-all" fans, etc.)

Wrestling is srs bsns: Wants wrestling to be taken super seriously; no comedy wrestling allowed so help me god

Watches DDT: Can watch Kota Ibushi wrestle a blow-up doll on loop for hours on end

With that out of the way, some rationalizations:

Let's start with Himiko. It's no surprise that she's neither a mark nor a smark, because she is the goddamn promotion, baby. She is the only one in this entire chart that is taking kayfabe fucking seriously. You want to go out there and destroy the business? Spill all the fucking beans? Not on her watch. She could be on trial for murder and she would still hold kayfabe because that is just what you gotta do to keep the business alive. Kayfabe is in her blood, her fucking veins. Don't fuck with kayfabe or Himiko will fuck you back. ...Bad choice of words, there.

Keebo and Kirumi don't understand the appeal of watching Kota Ibushi wrestle a blow-up doll. Maki wants to murder the next person that tries to send her a link to that video... which would probably be Kokichi, who I guarantee would have sent that link to over half of the people in this chart.

Kokichi is a smark with a little bit of a mark streak. Miu thinks she's a smark, and certainly acts like one, but she also thinks that every move is called a Dupree Bomb thanks to a certain YouTube channel. Both of them absolutely would watch Kota Ibushi wrestle a blow-up doll for hours on end and send the link to everyone they know afterwards.

Tenko thinks you'd have to be a degenerate male to watch something as depraved as... well... Kota Ibushi blah blah blow-up doll blah blah blah. Thank female Christ that The Amazing Himiko is here to remind us all that professional wrestling is a legitimate sport and not at all athletic theater.

Rantaro is one smarky motherfucker but he don't give two shits about how serious the product is. Plus you know Ibushi is kinda hot, he can do whatever he wants with that blow-up doll as far as Rantaro is concerned. Kokichi agrees with that sentiment.

Korekiyo is an anthropologist. He would absolutely be interested in whatever cultural phenomenons led to... again, the blow-up doll thing. I'm referencing that a lot today, but for good reason. Imagine, if you will, thousands of years from now, archeologists and anthropologists stumble upon a video of a man wrestling a blow-up doll, and it is all they have to go on for knowing of our time as everything else is lost. How will they understand us? How will they come to know us? Therefore, such studies are of absolute importance. Kiyo knows this, and now, so do you. Embrace your knowledge. Embrace your wisdom. Embrace the blow-up doll. I have no idea what the fuck I'm saying anymore.

Shuichi would definitely be more of a mark than Kaede and would definitely take wrestling more seriously. Angie, ever the artist, transcends the title of mark and smark much like Sakura before her, but views pro wrestling as an art form where anything is possible, even five star matches with blow-up dolls. Tsumugi wants you to believe that she's just some plain old mark when in reality she's the smarkiest of them all. Ryoma just doesn't really care all that much. Kaito and Gonta still haven't figured out yet that wrestling is fake.

I have no explanations for the bears because I don't really care. Fuck 'em. Except Monokuma. And the red one, he's alright I guess.

[payeehay]

Jack's Fucking Dead, Pt. 3

---

Part 1 / Part 2 / The Dissection

---

It turned out that Jack wasn't an easy man to find.

He wasn't in his lair, none of the ghosts Danny had asked had seen him, and he hadn't come back to the house. They had waited, hoped, but eventually they were forced to accept defeat and just...try to move on.

So here Danny was, in Vlad's lab, investigating something Tucker had found in their most recent sweep of his computer systems.

Danny's feet touched down silently, and he started through the lab. It only took a minute of searching the sprawling wing to find a room with a large glass box, filled with green smoke, a hulking figure obscured inside. He knocked on the glass, and the figure got up and floated over.

He wasn't expecting his father's face to emerge though the mist.

"Oh my God, Dad," he muttered, before he could think.

Jack's brows rose. "Phantom!" And then they furrowed. "What was that?"

Shit. "I said, uh, where's Vlad?"

"Oh!" Jack relaxed. "He stepped out to take a phone call. V-man has some very important investors!"

Good. That should give them some time. Danny started feeling along the edge of the doorless box. "Alright. Don't worry, I'll get you out of there."

Jack hesitated. "No, I- I'm staying."

Danny paused. "What?"

"We're learning a lot of interesting things!" Jack said. "We developed a weapon that can sense the exact amount of energy needed to knock a ghost out, and send it right to 'em in one big shot!"

"Wow, that sounds...terrifyingly efficient."

Jack chuckled. "Oh, it is," he said knowingly. "Those mischievous ghosties won't know what hit 'em!" he exclaimed.

"Right. So..." Danny searched for his words. "You...want to be experimented on?"

He didn't miss the way Jack hesitated. "Yes," he said, though. And then more quietly, "It's safer this way."

Ah. "Is this about what happened with Jazz?" Danny prodded.

Jack narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "How do you know about that, Phantom?"

Phantom stared back. "She told me." His gaze softened. "But you need to know, that only happened because you haven't practiced with your powers enough yet. Once you get some more experience, they'll stop going off when you don't mean for them to."

"And when I succumb to my ghostly rage and I do mean for them to?"

Danny sighed. "I promise you, that's not a thing. Some ghosts have obsessions that make them violent, but I really don't think you're one of them."

"And if I am?"

"Then your family has plenty of thermoses to suck you up into."

Jack hummed. There was a pause.

"Your family wants you home, you know," Danny said, a little more softly.

Jack's brows pulled together. "They...do?"

"Yeah. It's not the same without you. They're really worried."

Jack shook his head. "I can't go back. It's too dangerous. Vlad agrees, but everyone will be safe if i just stay here."

Danny bit his lip. He'd been meaning to tell his parents about Phantom for a little while now, he'd just never found the right time, the right way... But maybe this was the right time. He took a deep breath.

"Okay look, I was gonna do this once we were home, but there's something you need to see. You think ghosts are untrustworthy and dangerous, right?"

For once, Jack seemed to be choosing his words carefully. "They can be."

Danny spread his hands. "Well, you've been living with one for almost 3 years." A ring of light flashed around his middle, traveled across his body, and Danny Fenton was left standing in its wake.

"Phantom! Why do you look like my son?" Jack accused.

"What- no, I am Danny. And Phantom. I'm both."

"That's impossible."

Danny shrugged. "You'd think so, but apparently not."

Jack narrowed his eyes. "Why should I believe you?"

"Okay, how about this," Danny offered. Another flash of light, and he was Phantom again. "Ask me anything about my life. Like, anything. Something Phantom wouldn't know."

"Hmm... Why did we have to take you home that year we took you to the planetarium for your birthday?"

Danny grimaced. "Because I rode the centrifugal force ride and threw up?"

"And?"

Danny rubbed the back of his neck. "And then I begged you guys to let me ride it again. And then threw up again. But in my defense," He raised a finger. "That was early astronaut training."

Jack narrowed his eyes again. "What about the slip'n'slide incident?"

Danny laughed at that one. "Oh God, yeah, I stole like a dozen of Jazz's bath bombs and put them in the little pool at the end, and the entire yard foamed up and smelled like gummy bears for like a week." He was grinning. "I still think that was a good idea."

Jack looked stricken. "Danny?" he asked incredulously. He put his hands on the glass.

"Yeah, Dad?" Danny stepped a little closer.

"How did this happen?"

"Well, you know how-"

"Phantom," Vlad's voice echoed across the room. He sounded exasperated. "What are you doing here?"

"What do you think I'm doing?" Danny demanded. He jabbed a finger toward his father. "I'm setting him free!"

Vlad strolled closer, passing tables full of weapons. "Oh please," he drawled, "Jack is free to go at any time, assuming he feels like putting innocent people in danger." He shot a pointed look at Jack, picked up a cannon, aimed it at Danny. "You, however, are not welcome here."

The shots lit up the lab. Danny dodged the first, the second, the third slamming into Danny's chest and throwing him back against the wall with a sickening crack. He heard his father yell, the shattering of glass, and then everything went painful and white.

His consciousness returned slowly.

"-my son!" he heard.

Vlad sounded like he was smirking. "I take it Daniel has told you his little secret?"

"Wait, you knew? And you still shot him?!"

"I can assure you, he's had far worse. Sometimes by your own weapons, correct?"

There was a shout, a series of thuds, and Danny could faintly make out Vlad on the floor, Jack on top of him, punching him in the face.

"You were my best friend! I trusted you!" Jack shouted. "You knew who he was and you shot him!"

Danny shakily floated up and over to join them, and Vlad waved a hand at him. "And look at that, he's fine. It was a warning shot, Jack."

Jack scowled. "Bullshit, you know I know how much that thing hurts." He got his face close to Vlad's. "You don't touch my children, ever again."

Danny smiled. "Looks like you can get angry without seriously hurting anyone, huh?"

"He knocked out my tooth, Daniel."

Danny looked, and there was indeed a tooth on the floor. He crossed his arms. "So? You deserved it."

Vlad looked like he was going to retort, but Jack muttered, "Where do I go now?" He looked far away.

"Well, your recent conduct aside, you're welcome to stay here and continue our work," Vlad drawled.

Jack looked at him like he'd lost his mind.

Danny floated closer, put his hand on Jack's shoulder. "Come home with me," he offered.

Jack looked pained. "I can't," he said quietly.

"You can. It'll be okay, I've been with you guys for years and we're all still fine," Danny assured him.

Jack looked down. "It's too dangerous, I can't control myself."

Shit. Danny thought for a moment. "Okay, how about this: you come back to the Far Frozen with me. You can stay there for a while, do some sparring with them to practice with your powers - maybe unlearn a couple things about ghosts - and come back home when you trust yourself enough. How does that sound?"

Jack looked pensive. "How do I know I'll be safe there?"

"They know you're my father, and I'm, uh, important to them." He didn't want to tell Jack everything just yet.

"How do I know they'll be safe with me?" Jack asked quietly.

"They're all pretty strong, I don't think you'll be able to hurt them."

Jack didn't speak for a long moment, but finally, he said, "Okay."

"Yeah?" Danny asked.

"Yeah," Jack confirmed.

Danny smiled. "Okay." He crossed the room, motioned for Jack to follow him.

"Where do you think you're going?" Vlad demanded.

"To your portal," Danny replied casually.

"You could at least ask!" he shouted after them.

"Go fix your tooth, Vlad," Danny shouted over his shoulder, and then they were gone.