#fuck ok i need to try and just sleep before i really breakdown

[coridallasmultipass]

.

[th3secr3th1story]

getou reacting to you having a mental breakdown/crying

geto reacting to a breakdown

of course, thank you for the request! hope you're ok

warnings: hurt/comfort, angst ig, first time writing in present tense wheww yazan dont fuck it up..., soft!geto, reader is stresseddd about life, crying, established relationship, no prns used, if u see any typos IM SORRY. i proofread but it's late and im tired!

words: 1,026

some days are harder than others. ups and downs are normal (and expected), but knowing that doesn't make difficult times any easier to manage.

you're a strong student, there's no doubt in that. you consistently perform well in all your assessments, sparring sessions, and missions, but sometimes it feels like the better you perform the better you're expected to do.

that day, geto is able to tell something is off. you didn't participate as often as you usually do in class, your typically composed expression seemed strained, you ate your lunch slower than usual, and despite beating him in a fight, you seemed less focused.

"are you okay?" he asks as the two of you walk down the hallway, turning your face gently to look at him.

"yeah, just didn't sleep too well last night," you smile, kissing his cheek and squeezing his hand before quickly heading off to the bathroom.

despite being in a relationship with geto for over a year now, vulnerability is still challenging. not to say you've never confided in him, since there's no one you trust more, but putting thoughts into words never comes easy.

-

you don't know how you make it through your last class. just the thought of all your homework, your upcoming mission, the fact that it's only october, if you're really going to be risking your life for a living--you can't wait for the school day to be over.

once the final bell rings, you gather your things and leave the class, not stopping to thank the teacher or say bye to your friends as you normally do.

"what's up with y/n today?" gojo questions.

that confirms geto's suspicions. something is wrong, and he's ready to help.

-

once you reach the dorm, you shut the door and flop down onto the bed with a sigh.

"is it always going to be like this?" you wonder, feeling the stress from the day pressing down on your chest, practically suffocating you.

before you know it, half an hour of staring at the ceiling has gone by before a knock shakes you out of your thoughts.

sliding the door open, you see geto standing there staring right at you with his hands in his pockets.

"hey," he says, breaking the silence.

"what're you doing here? is everything okay?" you question, beckoning him in.

"you've been acting off today. even satoru noticed, which is definitely saying something since he's always in his own bubble," he grumbles the last part, smiling a little.

"what's going on? i need you to talk to me," he continues.

sitting down on the bed, you sigh for what has got to be the thousandth time in the last 12 hours and try to figure out how to formulate your words.

"today was just hard, i guess? i don't really know," you mumble, not even sure of what to say.

"what do you mean?" he asks, encouraging you to open up, sitting down next to you and placing his hand on your leg.

"i just feel like there's a lot of pressure to do well, from my parents and teachers," you respond, not sure if you were talking to him or yourself.

"like, the more missions i come back from successful, or the more projects i do well on, the better i feel like i have to perform. which of course isn't a bad thing--i mean it's probably a good thing, actually," you start, feeling the familiar stinging of your eyes.

"but it's still kind of tiring because i feel like i can't really catch a break. like, once i finish something, there's always something else waiting for me," you stop for a second to sniffle as the tears start to fall, quickly wiping them away.

geto scoots closer and wraps his arm around you, rubbing his hand up and down your arm.

"and i get this is the life of a jujutsu sorcerer and i just have to suck it up and get used to it, but it's hard, you know? i don't know how to get my shit together."

your breaths are coming in quicker now, placing your elbows onto your knees so you can lean into the palms of your hands.

"i'm just tired, suguru. really tired," you choke.

"i feel like i'm going insane. i mean, what if i fuck up my next mission and then that's it?" you ask, letting silence wash over the both of you as you cry into your hands. you shake your head, feeling the embarrassment push through you.

at first, geto doesn't say anything, processing your words, before he pulls you back into his arms, hugging you tightly and letting your tears fall onto his shoulder.

"i get what you mean, y/n. you're not crazy," he whispers into your hair, rubbing your back as you continue to cry hard.

"you keep talking like you're alone," he continues, "but you're not. satoru's here, shoko's here, baby-" he turns your head so that you can look at him, "-i'm here."

"expectations are challenging, and they can definitely feel suffocating. but you're more than a failed mission," he whispers softly, wiping your tears away with his thumb.

"mistakes are inevitable, and yes, failure is always a possibility. it's unrealistic to expect yourself to complete every single mission perfectly, you know. i doubt anyone ever has."

"but what if i disappoint everyone? i don't want to be a failure," you whisper, shaking your head as you look away from geto.

"listen, it still doesn't mean you're weak or incapable. you're the strongest person i know, and your dedication to everything you do just proves that," he smiles, pulling you in so you can rest your head on his shoulder again.

"stronger than you and satoru?" you ask, finally smiling a little as the tears begin to subside.

"way stronger," he responds, kissing your forehead before pulling the two of you down to lay on your bed.

"wait, i have homework, suguru-"

"just for a bit, baby. i know how tired you are, it's okay," he whispered, pulling you in closer and beckoning you to finally close your weary eyes.

[creepy-friday]

Hi!!! I saw your fem! Proxy post and I was wondering if you could write a NSFW scenario/oneshot with a fem! Proxy with Hoodie? It just really got me thinking and the way you write the characters really intrigues me!

If not it's completely ok!!! I don't know if your requests are open or if you write NSFW but if you don't then feel free to ignore this!

The only specific thing I ask is if Y/N was a bit in the sweeter and innocent side when it comes to her personality, since i think the contrast between her human and naive natures contrasts with Hoodie's perveted one is really interesting, that's the only thing really.

I love your writing and hcs and remember that you don't have to write this if you don't want to!!

💗💗💗

Hii!! Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it! 💞 💞💞

NSFW|Hoodie x Female Proxy|

Warnings: heavy NSFW,hair pulling,orgasm denial,violence,blood and abuse mentions

Two years.It took you two years of working under a faceless creature to finally give in the loneliness almost every creep of the mansion drowned into

It was noticed by Brian who waited patiently for you to say the word that would bring the nights he spent jerking himself off to you to reality

On the occasions you were free to wander around, Brian followed you a couple of times. At first it was just his job,to make sure you aren't plotting to escape and to report to Slenderman if you would be on the run

To be honest he wouldn't have rat you out even if you thought you could escape the forest,but he would've blackmail you into various "services" to keep quiet. He isn't the most innocent after years of having blood on his hands

Missions with you along with Masky and Hoodie were going two ways. It was either Maksy smashing someone's brain across the room while you're distracted or having you knock out someone while the white masked man bitches about it.

It was funny to him,really,altough the hood's expression captures sadness he's finding himself smirking to how much you try to leave a scene with the least amount of blood possible

It was a dirty thought,but he was getting hard of the amount of fear or disgust your face portrayed whenever his teammate did something grotesque

He noticed how you reacted to the cruel things he did as well

Sometimes he wonderes if you would have the same expression if he would put a pistol to your head while pounding into you,or if the sweet girl he thinks you are would enjoy it

Of course he never tried to make a move on you or to harass you like Masky did.He was simply waiting for an opportunity to fuck you,one like today

There were feelings he wasn't aware of,but he never gave them much thought because a relationship between the two of you would be candalous

The dynamic among the proxies would be destroyed,but he wouldn't mind to be honest,the word "shame" is out of his vocabulary after all the time spent here

Today was one of the days you had a breakdown and needed to be out for a while,deep in the forest to the usual spot

"You keep on coming here." he approached you with slow steps,leaning on a tree while pulling his hood upwards.There was clear tension between the two of you from the mission last night

"Oh,yeah.. " you simply responded while rubbing your hands together.

"It was a nice thing." he mentioned from last night,when you soothed Toby who was on the verge of exploding into another violent outburst to Masky's constant bullying towards him.

You gave him a nod while playing with the crushed leaves on the ground

"I know how it was at first,in these woods." Brian stated while taking a few more steps towards you."You don't have to hide there.Confess to me." he demanded."Why you do it?"

You looked at him with a puzzled expression,deep bags under your eyes from the lack of sleep due to the stress from all the worked days

"I don't know." and you told him the truth,but to be honest,at this point you were exhausted.You kept on thinking about your life..before you ended up here.

The loneliness combined with the way of how hot his body felt right next to you made you make the first move to finally give Brian the start he longed for.

You looked up to him and he leaned in.You kissed him and he followed by with a deeper passionate approach while his hands traveled from your waist to your ass and finally to your pants

As you tried to get some air as well as some distance you gently pushed him by the chest. "We shouldn't do this."

"Why not?"

"I...I don't.." it felt guilty to be out with your teammate like this.It felt like a betrayal of some sort for some reason.

"You don't what?" he smirked while closing the distance yet again "you're a virgin? That's alright,I won't bite." Brian whispered while giving wet kisses to the crook of your neck "or maybe you aren't into this kind of stuff?"

His right hand traveled to your clothed sex after giving your ass a rough squeeze.He continued to rub your cunt while his left hand went up your shirt,pulling it upwards with your bra

The way your legs opened up,giving room for his hand to toy with your covered heat and the way his tongue circled your nipple made you moan in response

After giving your puffy nipples a final squeeze he grabbed you by the back of your neck and throwed you face down on the log he was previously sitting on making you yelp in surprise

Hoodie moved his hand from your neck to your hair,grabbing a fistful of it while undoing his pants and pushing your legs apart for more room

"You're not saying anything,huh?Use your voice for a bit',I might do it more often" he whispered as he lowered his body onto you

"I..I don't know what to-" you were interrupted by the cold wind biting at your skin as he pulled your pants to your ankles in a rush

"That's okay.I'll fuck the words out of you." he whispered as he plunged two fingers into your wet hole

He kept on hurrying the pace as you were driven closer and closer to the edge then suddenly went slower

"Please don't stop" you begged for him,your mind long gone into a hazy cloud as he gently lifted your head by the hair

He entered in without much effort as you arched your back followed by his grunts

He continued to slowly trace circles on your clit,patiently waiting for you to ask for more

A few squirms and your body was rocking against his hand,the nonverbal response made the intention clear and he followed suit

The sound of flesh on flesh combined with the muffled moans were enough to make your face red,further hurting your cheek in the rough surface of the log he previously sat on

"Are you disgusted with yourself?" he smirked while continuing to pound into you "of being with someone like me?" getting closer to your face he jerked your head upwards and licked your cheek "maybe you're getting off of that"

Making the pace slower again he hissed "respond."

"N-No!I'm not!"

"Atta girl"

The whole situation driven you drunk with lust as you tightened around him

After a minute of heavy breathing you both regained yourselves from the high.As Brian caressed your hair a wet pop was heard before as he stood up straight to adjust his clothes back on. "You alright?"

"Y-yeah.." you breathed out while hurrying to pull your pants back on,still shaken from the whole experience.

"Want some help with that?" you immediately responded with a quiet "no"  while ignoring any sort of eye contact with him.

"Aight'" Brian smiled to himself as he sat down on the same log,still watching you take deep breaths in and out while leaning on the tree next to him.

The faint sound of a click was heard as he lightened up a cigarette. "Take a break." Brian whispered with a different tone now,the teasing and mischievous one being long gone at this point. "You'll need it for tomorrow."

You finally looked in his direction, eyes fixated on yours as a soft smile appeared on his face

"Maybe you'll get lonely again.I'll be there"

[thoraeth]

A/N: 850 words, gn!reader. You're the personal assistant of the weirdest punk band in the Grand Line and today you're having a breakdown. Unfortunately, Buggy has no intentions of leaving you alone.

[One Piece punk band AU/ modern AU]

Cut out for the job

The door slams closed. You kick your sneakers away, enjoying the silence of your hotel room.

You haven't been able to catch your breath all day: Mr. Trafalgar called at 6 am because Ace was held at the police station; third time this month. Then it was Barto's turn. He needed your opinion on a nice gift for his nana, but kept arguing that your ideas were stupid. Franky gave you a migraine, shouting left and right during the band's weekly meeting and Buggy…oh, Buggy. He was insufferable these days: snappy, needy, tense, constantly asking you to fetch him stuff, to take him places.

You’re starting to feel like you’re never enough, drowning in this chaotic routine.

You can almost hear your mother's voice in your head: “Are you really throwing your life away to follow a band of idiots?!” Well, in your defense, being a band’s personal assistant was supposed to be fun. But now? Here you are, tired, sad and underpaid, living in yet another horrible hotel room. Maybe you're not cut out for this job.

Your phone glows up, a text from Buggy. “It's 11 pm for fuck's sake!” you shout, throwing the buzzing device on the sofa.

Buggy has been doing it for weeks: every night he sends you tons of messages for the most trivial stuff. He’s lost his mascara, bought ten pairs of shoes, whines about his paycheck. A bratty, pushy attitude he’s never had before.

In fact, the two of you used to have the most interesting conversations and a special chemistry that made you feel some type of way more than once. Like that night, backstage. The glances, the gentle touching while you helped him get dressed…you can still feel the goosebumps on your skin.

You pick up your phone, puffing at the crowd of notifications.

[Hey, you still up? Listen, face paint is running out, I’m thinking cherry 3.2 this time but I’m not sure if 1 or 2 cans.

Heyyyy are you ignoring me?? 👺😭 You sleeping already?]

[Oi Bug, can we discuss this tomorrow? It's way past my working hours.]

[...ok.]

[Today's been rough, I really need to unwind 🥲]

[ Wanna hang out? A little fun will make you feel better.]

[ Thanks but I’m done with work, see you tomorrow!]

[seen 00:15 AM]

[Buggy? You ok?]

[seen 00:50 AM]

“Shit. He's upset now.” You whisper, your eyes and mouth wide open “What if he gets me fired?”

You feel low-key furious: you shouldn't be punished for setting boundaries. If he’s playing the cocky boss during the day, you can play that game too and clock out at night. Screw him.

The sudden sound of the doorbell makes you jump out of your skin. “Hey it's me.” A familiar voice comes from outside the door, muffled.

Stomping to the peephole, you see Buggy. He’s nervously thinkering with his blue hair, pacing back and forth in the duck hoodie you got him for his birthday.

“Are you serious?” You ask, opening up.

“I know, I’m sorry. Just five minutes and I'll be gone.”

Buggy's not wearing his piercings and face paint; he looks serious, a bit scared. His ice blue eyes stare at you in silence and all your anger seems to melt away as he sits on the sofa.

“I need to talk to you.”

“Am I fired…?”

“What? No!” He shrieks, outraged. “Just sit, please.”

The second you're next to him, Buggy focuses on his boots, hands twitching on his knees.

“I-I know I've been a bit of an asshole lately.” He stutters. “I drove you crazy asking tons of stuff and…”

“You’re being a pain in the ass. Yes.”

“I’m sorry. I was just trying to spend more time with you but I messed up.” Buggy side-eyes you, his face red and flustered.

“I think I like you. A lot.”

Those words make your heart race so fast you can barely breathe.

He continues: “I tried to write to you, but every time… I couldn't say it the way I wanted.”

“Is that why you kept texting me for hours every night?!” you snap, breaking your silence.

Buggy jumps back in his seat “I didn't realize I was bothering you! I've always enjoyed our silly chats. But I'll stop, I got it now. We're just colleagues.”

You burst out laughing. Buggy leans towards you, shouting things you can't hear over the joy exploding in your chest.

He's about to get up, distraught, when you reach for his neck and pull him towards you, pressing your lips on his. Still a bit surprised, Buggy melts into your kiss, holding you so tight it almost hurts.

“For a second I thought I didn't want this job anymore.” You chuckle in between kisses.

“I’ll ask Trafalgar to give you a raise, then.”

“He's gonna fire us both when he knows about this.”

You dive your back into the sofa, pressed under Buggy’s weight. As he kisses and laughs into your neck, you remember why you decided to follow this band of idiots in the first place: there’s no other place in the world where you’ve felt more alive.

[difeisheng]

Incoherent Post-Watching (like JUST finished watching) TUA S3 Thoughts, Go (Spoilers Ahead):

diego and viktor both looked great this season (i didn't understand you diego people before but yeah ok i get it now)

i miss old ben i really do :(

connected to the first two points: yeah sparrow ben is an asshole but HELLO JUSTIN MIN 👀

rip to over half the sparrows i guess???? i really thought based on the promo they'd all have bigger roles but i guess not

PLEASE LET FIVE REST. LET HIM HAVE A BREAKDOWN. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH

legitimately can the universe stop making five suffer and even give him a day or so to process his trauma i don't know how much longer i can do this

five stans did win this season tho. drunk speech, every shenanigan, outfit changes, suit??? nice

luther and sloane. hm. i- ok. sure. maybe im just aro but that felt VERY rushed

luther and allison???? holy shit allison went dark this season that was messed up

also: damn. therapy won't make a fucking dent in anyone's issues here, it's official

klaus just being immortal. sounds about right

maybe i was just reading into it too much but why were characters having random tension

we're all agreed that lila is bi and she fucked stan's mom right

lila + diego being improvised parents was really cute actually, i liked that

OKAY back to the tension thing. were they trying to suggest that klaus and sparrow ben slept together after the wedding??? was that just robert and justin being themselves coming through??? what??

i mean ok klaus is already a canonical would-be clonefucker and sparrow ben never knew him before so Technically- nah im not going down that road. mostly

the whole 'party at the end of the world' vibe was nice. also the wedding. what a shitshow lmao

FUCK reginald hargreeves. dude is shit in every iteration five im so sorry why won't any of your siblings just listen to you

and alongside reggie's fucked up plans, this season was more gory than i was expecting it to be even though the injuries sustained were temporary

how do i cope with the ending. jesus christ. also why is sparrow ben there but not sloane

fjfjfkdkskd diego and sparrow ben yelling at each other in spanish and korean. i wanna know if that was improvised or not

allison and diego beating up people at a confederate bar <3

ok may add more thoughts later but it's past 6am now, i need sleep

(but just once more for emphasis: GIVE FIVE A FUCKING BREAK)

[i-am-an-arson-enthusiast]

sometimes i think wednesdays are cursed

you guessed it, it’s another post ranting about a shitty day but i’m writing this two days late 🤪

anyway. idk how much of this story i’ve told but someone who i thought was my friend asked my deadname. i know i’ve posted about it but who knows how depth they are. if you want more of a story go ahead and ask. so that’s the first wednesday that fucking sucked.

the next one is. a long one. i’ll try to shorten it. so tech doesn’t really give you any time at all to sit down and think about things bc by the time im done eating dinner it’s time for bed and i need my goddamn sleep. that adds to my stress and tech adds an UNGODLY amount of stress. like to the point of regular crying. so on wednesday the joke of the day was “yeah we have mental breakdowns on the daily back here”. and then we had two. one from my friend and one from me. and being stage manager, it was like fucking timed. i can’t just step away like others. i went over to the other side to talk with my friend and she really did help. then we had to close the red curtains but the person who does that doesn’t have an ear piece so i had to get my shit together and run over to tell him.

fast forward to me going home. i see my friend dmed me. and it says “for now on don’t talk to me” and by this point i was already breaking down all over again to my friend over text. i screenshotted it and sent it and we panic over it and in the span of twenty ish minutes my mental health plummeted the fastest it has ever before. i was at an all time low to the point where it physically hurt me. i was not ok and i would not have been ok.

but theennnnn he texted me apologising and we talked a bit :) and then he refriended me on discord and deleted that one message:) (which i never responded to so there’s a chance he is holding onto the idea that i never saw it) (who knows)

as of yesterday everything is ok and the whole thing was bc of the stress of tech and literally everything. which i get. so now im back to like a normal range in mental health. lower side of it but im surviving. my next goal in mental health is to start living for me and not for the people around me. bc i cant bear the idea of leaving them. and that includes a lot of my mutuals on here that i interact with a lot.

ok last thing: shoutout to the group therapy gc for having these very historical records in real time.

[bhaaliestspawn]

And for the record I would never say no because the last time I did there was a whole 3 day long argument and he was not happy with the end result but hey gotta get the umbrella somehow even if the eggs are overcooked and that's why I stopped volunteering for the peddle run lord knows they have plenty of them but when you hear that voice the pickle juice leaves your body and ngl Tuesday was rough but I'm totally blaming the lack of sleep before all the doors got locked and who else would climb up to the 3rd floor if not the smoll one very versatile in tight spaces and I said as much before everything went dark and the only smell was that of a salted tomato memories that'll last us forever even if you replace all the light bulbs there will still always be time for tea and that's what keeps up in shape.

listen to me now anon please listen really carefully. few weeks ago i tried baking a cheesecake for the very first time ever and for me, personally, it is a feat to be forever memorized because i am simply not a master of the culinary arts, never was and never will be. it was a scary experience but as i was taking out the cake form i felt very self-assured that i was going to rock it because there i saw it i saw the hole. i thought to myself well do you know who else has a hole. the little one is so crunchable punchable bitable fistable chewable , crispy like a fried cheese ball but so very soft on the inside, melted cheese all runny and nasty, running down my chin so slorpy. a grilled cheese girlfriend if i ever saw one, i just know that if id bite into the crispy wrinkly exterior, the runny soft cheese goo would get all over me but also all over his cum gutters . so i thought to myself well since cheese and hole go so well together… with this in mind i went through my first ever cheesecake procedure and as it was sweating and caking in the oven (preheated to 180C btw if u care) , i thought to myself well sometimes what u gotta do is try something u have never tried before and maybe it will work out or maybe it won’t work out idk im just saying shit to be honest i literally will cry if something doesn’t go my way. but at the same time, it is so true, because if the small one tonsured himself willingly for all the world to see then who am i to doubt myself and my ability to bake a cheesed cake, need to believe in myself a little, need a little confidence like little paul landers from berlin, that insane bitch who tonsured himself so hard it stayed with him forever. once he said that sometimes they change haircuts but then he hasn’t changed it for 22 years, do you ever think about that and do you even care . anyway. fast forward to a few days ago my mother was asking me abt the cheesed cake as i was having a manetol illiniosis breakdown so i told her the recipe though i didn’t tell her of the hole allegories and prophecies and visions, but i didn’t need to because she told me “don’t cry ok. 2023 u shall fuck the old man okay? don’t cry ok.” well sometimes all u need to do is believe a little in what ur elders are saying i think. isnt the passage of time insane anyway, literally fuckign mad that that on their first album ever they said “years will seem like minutes“ who says that on a penis music debut album what in the fuck !!!! also you need to bake the cheesecake for twenty-five to thirty minutes but i actually baked it for thirty-five because my oven just isn’t that good. something to keep in mind i suppose.

[fluffallamaful]

Aww, Tommy being the one to step in when he has a breakdown is so sweet actually. And it totally makes sense with how he was the only one to see him as a fellow human being in the finale (besides Punz, ofc). Having him there to grease the wheels fits so well! And then at the end, finally finding comfort in his soft bed instead of thinking of it like another cell — oh that’s so warm and fuzzy. Maybe Tommy stays late into the night that time around. He doesn’t sleep and nobody else does either — he’s a rambunctious little shit — but he ropes them into playing little games together. Ones that Dream can play, too — or if he can’t do it on his own, Tommy forces someone else to step up to physically assist him as necessary. (“Move his chess pieces for him, Sam. …I think he wanted that one a little to the left actually —“ “He can’t run on his own, you dumb fuck! Carry him so I can chase you two down the hall!”) Maybe they even play some tickling games, especially at first when they’re trying to get him to smile again. (Tommy’s not really a gentle soul, though, so he basically just announces that whoever makes Dream cry Uncle first wins and goes for it.) (Nobody’s sure who won, because they’re idiots who forgot that they needed to take turns for that to work instead of going for him all at the same time.) (It was Dream. Dream won. :3)

Eventually, though, Tommy has to leave. It’s early in the morning and he’s finally tired and he needs to go back home for some stuff anyway. Dream doesn’t want to look like a baby so he doesn’t beg him to stay — even though he really wants to — instead gritting his teeth and watching sadly as he leaves.

But Sam and Quackity are gentle with him, still — even gentler than Tommy was, because as much as Tommy cares he’s still a rambunctious little shit. Sam goes and prepares a bowl of soup while Quackity cleans him up from head to toe. (Maybe the sponges tickle a bit. Quackity isn’t trying to wreck him, but maybe he can’t resist being just a little mean as he washes his ribs, tummy and feet.) Then Sam comes back as Quackity helps him slip into a fresh hospital gown, where he rests Dream in his lap while he spoonfeeds him his meal. Quackity uses this time to do the laundry.

(While they’re alone with him, they talk. Quackity mainly keeps the tone light and playful, but he acknowledges the torture seriously at one point at least. Sam’s conversation is more serious. He finds out some things about how the prison was planned, about how Dream trusted him with his body and soul. He holds him as he cries a bit — still angry, still scared, but on the road to recovery. They’re both much more aware of things by the end of the day.)

At the end of the day, they don’t leave him alone. Instead they get in bed with him, burying themselves in the bedding they was already there as well as all the shit they may or may not have dragged from their own sleeping spots in preparation for a long-term sleepover. Dream’s in the middle, warm and snug as he’s sandwiched between pillows and blankets and two former enemies who are trying their best to mend their relationship. (They were friends once upon a time. Maybe they can be friends again.)

ok i should’ve feckin answered this one before the tummy tickles one because of the sponge + domestic caring stuff fzgxgsw

(discussion below)

🦙🦙🦙…

i adore the idea of bath time basically equalling ‘tickle time’ for dream :(( that’s so cute. but it also kinda gives the opportunity for tickles to be a kind of regular thing in the AU. like it just becomes a bit of a comfort thing for dream because for once in his life he’s trusting others enough to not be in control. but as well as that, it’s rather nostalgic to him. it reminds him of the simpler times that he craves :((

i love the idea of tommy making sure to include him in games!!! like omg playing hide and seek, but forcing sam to carry dream around to find him. or forcing sam to hide dream and then just leaving him propped up behind a bookshelf while tommy goes on a dramatic search for him.

i also kinda of adore the idea of sam/quackity tickling tommy on behalf of dream?? like tommy being in a fun teasy mood and playfully tickling dream coz dream can’t fight back. but then sam/quackity offering to tickle tommy on dreams behalf. i just had the image of dreams hands finally healing enough to tickle tommy back :(( and like tommy just letting him and trying his hardest to not squirm away. or having quackity help hold him down while dream squeezing prods and skitters to the best of his ability. like getting all excited about the fact that he can finally give back tickles :(((

I LOVE THE SOUP THING like every time you write that cdream gets hot soup i damn near tear up :(( also sam and quackity having a sleepover in his bed of pillows and being all warm and smooshed and safe in the middle :(( i adore imagining quackity and sam taking over the role of caring for dream, while tommy takes on the role of entertainment aHH. and just the whole dynamic of the house taut they’re in gaining such a fun caring atmosphere i will cryyyy

🦙🦙🦙…

[sentimental-apathy]

I need a new psychiatrist. I’m so frustrated. I’ve basically been without medication for my bipolar depression and insomnia for almost 3 months now. Olanzapine was making me gain weight and tbh it had kinda stopped helping me sleep so I was at a loss. So he prescribed me topamax and ziprazidone. Topamax is supposed to help suppress my appetite and the ziprazidone was supposed to treat my bipolar depression. But my main issue is insomnia. I keep getting treated like I have schizophrenia when the only times I’ve experienced symptoms of that is when I go into psychosis due to severe insomnia. I don’t have schizoaffective or schizophrenia. I have severe insomnia and depression and occasional/rare manic episodes that worsen the insomnia. However, it’s been over 2 years since I experienced a “manic” episode and I believe it was partly induced by using too much thc. So anyway. The ziprazidone did not help me sleep whatsoever so I stopped taking it and talked to my psychiatrist again. He prescribed me a medication called Lybalvi which is olanzapine and samidorphan combined to help you sleep, treat bipolar, and also reduce weight gain. Problem was Medicaid wouldn’t cover it. My psychiatrist never called me to explain what was going on or to try and put me on something else, I just ended up waiting over a month trying to get hold of them to see what was happening and if I’d get the medication or not and eventually I was just like ok fuck this and made a new appointment because I wasn’t getting anywhere and I still was struggling to sleep well. So at my last appointment a couple weeks ago he was really discouraging me because he was acting like he didn’t know what else to do and like he couldn’t think of any more meds to try for me and suggested abilify when I’d already tried abilify twice and it doesn’t help me sleep so what’s the point? I asked if he could prescribe me Caplyta because I’d done research on bipolar depression medications that help you sleep and it was suggested. He said he’d never prescribed that before so he didn’t want to prescribe it to me and instead recommended I try Vraylar. I was disappointed but said ok. Later that day I’m notified by text that my prescription isn’t ready because they’re having insurance issues. Again. So at this point I was fuming. Anyway it’s like a week and a half later and it finally got approved by Medicaid so I picked it up yesterday and took it last night with my other meds and guess what. I couldn’t sleep. In fact, even tho I was really tired, I felt utterly restless for some reason and my thoughts kept going to weird places, kinda like I was dreaming but fully awake and tossing and turning, unable to stay still. So I looked it up. Apparently vraylar can cause restlessness and insomnia. Like. Wtf. This psychiatrist is so inept at this point it’s ridiculous. I’m telling him over and over during every appointment, my mood is fine but I can’t sleep, not sleeping, trouble sleeping, my sleep schedule is all over the place, please help me with my insomnia and instead of treating that or listening to me he keeps prescribing me schizophrenia meds that I don’t fucking need, that don’t help me sleep. I’m so frustrated and mad right now. It’s ridiculous. I’m gonna have to find a new psychiatrist. Not looking forward to it. Meanwhile I’ve been trying to find a job, applying to some different positions but haven’t heard anything back. I’m so anxious and nervous that I’m gonna get a call and then start working but still be struggling to sleep and then I’ll have to work while getting no sleep and that usually leads to me having a breakdown so I’m just really anxious in general about everything. I’m really struggling mentally right now. I’m super depressed but my insomnia is the worst. I don’t know what to do. I’m so frustrated.

[the-acid-pear]

Had a Dream today. Kind of ended waking up after confronting my mom bc how angry I was. Bit of a fucking we need to talk about Kevin fanfiction edge too for some goddamn reason (never watched the movie although I don't like the evil kid narrative at all, and I really don't like it if my dream had to pull it up, BUT i did find this fucking post which i do enjoy. I did kind of just see the scene of her breaking his arm yesterday and it pissed me off that greatly I guess but anyway...).

Dream itself breakdown: we spent a lot of time preparing to go to space, a few people did before me. I remember there was this... Drag queen or simply femme, she looked like lady bear but dark skinned. There was also some dipshit who kept selling us shit we needed and said the name of the item like a little song. I tried to steal his thing as revenge but he won again when we were inside the space ship and he sold us canes (I was trying to sell cream, and I didn't even have enough for us all).

The space trip was ok btw the girl went in first and we followed suit (I think she was fucking piloting? Slay). At first I was dizzy and scared just Sleeping because I was Anxious. But then I opened the eyes after told so and I saw the stars and got scared of getting height fright on the moon but then I saw, a neighborhood? And we got off like it was a car and we started wandering.

And everything was pretty normal? Not a lot of people outside but I saw a few with minor changes like weird ears or scaly legs but otherwise very normal. I walked with my dad and step mom and when they pointed out we didn't see anything odd I was like "I saw [dad, step sister and I] a few houses back" and he was like why didn't you tell us?! and we started backtracking but we got distracted with this blue tiled house in a corner street with cats outside and around. I got stuck in the fence but my step mother opened it from the side. I got worried about House Invasion but brushed it off bc cut weird cats.

Inside the house a guy with missing a few fingers in his left hand lived. He was dilfy. Short, fat, bald, beard, a little tanned. Few scars here and there too. He wasn't anything to write home about appearance wise, peak some guy, but he was a kind ass man. He might've had family but I didn't pay attention to them.

We nearly burnt his fucking house down. Like straight up. I don't know how the details but I remember it was all Minecraft for a second and we were hitting the fire to turn it off but it was spreading and I went inside the basement to continue doing damage control but then was like WOW [name] YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BASEMENT bc he did it was like, the brick was blending w the hole and there were tools to the side IT WAS PRETTY, OK? But then I got stuck bc it was 2 blocks deep so I had to start screaming for help and for some reason when he came to help me out he handed me his Bad hand and I squished it to pull my fat ass up and he winced but didn't say anything.

And then, the star of the show! The fucking Kevin and my mom coming out of nowhere scene. Because someone asked him to talk to the kid (bc my whole gripe w the movie is the arm scene he was in that age range, though he was a different kid entirely, he was even blonde). And of course bc this guy is a hero he managed to talk to the kid and reason with him and IN MY DREAM it all really boiled down to neglect, him even saying "if we went missing mom would only realize when the dog didn't come back too" and idk what the guy said (I'll call him George bc i think that was his name) but he managed to convince the kid to change for the better and, recommended fucking treatment w cannabis? And then we left.

And then we left and I'm walking down the street with my mom. It was sunny, before we were in somewhere like Varela now it was closer to Avellaneda. I don't know if I started talking or if she did but I know I started screaming, because what the kid had said applied to me too. Actually, in fact, that kid might've been me? Or something like that like we were different timeline versions of each other, there was a George that looked like a regular suburban dad and not a monster hunter (George might've had an eyepatch the more I think of it, he might not be bald too?? IDK I digress) so my anger wasn't just projecting but something else. So I started screaming at her about how little she cared about me and then she faced away and I lowered my head and reached up but she intercepted me going "never lower your head when facing me!" but I countered with "I wasn't lowering my head I was trying to make you face ME" and then I grabbed her by the jaw so she'd look at me in the eyes (my mom is half a head taller than me btw) and I couldn't say anything else because I woke up.

So yeah. Gotta love dog symbolism innit?

[bqstqnbruin]

what were your favorite and least favorite books you read each month and why??

SOMETHING TO DO YAY I read 64 books so far (and that's probably the ending number so) here ya go

None of these books are part of the SMP boycott as far as I am aware.

January:

Favorite: The Honeys by Ryan La Sala

When I tell you this was totally unexpected holy shit. It's YA Horror and follows Mars after they wake up to their twin sister, Caroline standing over them with a knife trying to kill them in their sleep. They go to the camp where Caroline last was to try to figure out what happened leading up to her breakdown and ultimate death, where they encounter a clique Caroline was part of called 'the Honeys.' This book, I was very happy I was reading it when my roommate wasn't home/asleep because I was up at 3 am screaming while I was reading I stg

Least Favorite: Good Girl, Bad Blood (A Good Girls Buide to Murder #2) by Holly Jackson

I couldn't even tell you what happened in this book. All I know is that wanted Pip to stop with the god damn antics and just go to bed I stg

February: I actually only read two books in February so uh

Favorite: On the Rooftop by Margaret Wilkerson Sexton

Ngl, I do not remember what happened in this one. It was just ok

Least Favorite: American Royalty by Tracey Livesay

This is supposed to be a take on the Prince Harry/Meghan Markle romance but god this was just so boring to me. The royal family in this was based off real life though with how insufferable they are

March: I only read one book this month whoops

Favorite: Legendborn by Tracy Deonn

I will recommend this book until I die I swear this is my roman empire. This book took me all month to read but is so good and made me cry and I need to read the second book ASAP but it's so long that I keep putting it off

April:

Favorite: Takes from the Cafe (Before the Coffee Gets Cold #2) by Toshikazu Kawaguchi

This series is so beautifully heartbreaking and deals with time travel to see the ones you love knowing that no matter what happens you can't change anything

Least Favorite: A Tale of Two Princes by Eric Geron

I know that the book is YA and that the boys are teenagers in this but all their antics were so overly juvenile and petty that I couldn't deal with it. Like I know that they are kids, but this was so bad. I was hoping someone would just like ground them or something just so they would stop

May: I apparently only read two books again in May

Favorite: Loveless by Alice Oseman

Alice Oseman never misses tbh

Least Favorite: Paper Towns by John Green

I remember loving this in like middle school/early high school and decided to reread it and that was a mistake

June:

Favorite: Caraval by Stephanie Garber

I only picked this one up because it's the first of a trilogy that is connected to another trilogy that I wanted to read but god I love the sisters in this book

Least Favorite: The Golden Spoon by Jess Maxwell

This was just ok. It's like Great British Bake Off mixed with murder

July:

Favorite: Fake Dates and Mooncakes by Sher Lee

This book was so sickeningly sweet I stg I think about Dylan and Theo all the time I need to reread this one

Least Favorite: Belladonna by Adalyn Grace

I might come back to this one next year but like I couldn't get past the "I want to fuck death" aspect of this book

August:

Favorite: She Gets the Girl by Rachael Lippincott and Alyson Derrick

Another one that was just so sweet I was rooting for these girls the entire time

Least favorite: A Taste of Sage by Yaffa S. Santos

This is another one where I couldn't tell you what happened except that she can get sick if people make food when they're mad and they fuck on the prep table in the restaurant

September: I only read two books this month and I loved both of them

Favorite: Yellowface by R.F. Kuang

What happens when a white woman talks over the experiences of POC in the publishing world? I wanted to punch June the entire time

October: I also read only two books and really liked them

Favorite: These Hallowed Halls: A Dark Academia Anthology

I'm not normally one for dark academia but I read this book the day I bought it and didn't want to put it down

November:

Favorite: The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

I had to reread it thanks to tik tok and it holds up unlike other books I read when I was younger this year

Least Favorite: The Girl from the Sea by Molly Knox Ostertag

This book wasn't bad. It was just ok. I read it and kinda just went 'meh'

December:

Favorite: Stars in Your Eyes by Kacen Callender

Check you TW before reading this because it is HEAVY but god this book had my sobbing at 3 am this was the book where I kept asking if I read the library book or do I read the one I really wanted to and I read it in one sitting it broke my heart and put it together in all the right ways

Least favorite: Just Haven't Met You Yet by Sophie Cousens

I love Sophie Cousens but the first love interest in this felt so cartoony it ruined the book for me

[tenrose]

I feel like I'm being two different persons at the same time... Like I'm ok with my alone life at home, it's far from being perfect but I'm being more indulgent to myself than before. Like the crushing guilt of having done nothing of the whole weekend isn't as heavy as before, because I know I am exhausted from work 200% of the time so I won't do anything of my Saturdays unless someone else planned something for me and I'm being more gentle with me cause I know I need to rest, I'm literally always close to have a mental breakdown. Just feeling guilty cause laying in bed doesn't help my back to heal. But I've learnt to live with this constant disturbance in my leg. Lately I've been watching shows, old shows but hey that count as doing something. And actually it keeps me from respecting a good eating schedule so I can have time to watch an episode before going to sleep so it's a win. Haven't had time to finish the deep cleaning, so my apartment still looks like a mess, but however since we have deep cleaned the kitchen I'm able to maintain this part clean and tidy so I have faith in me. I just need help for the big cleaning but then I think I will finally be able to maintain my apartment clean (excluding the fact that I have a cat dudjsjz), and we might do the bathroom next week (both me and my aunt helping just have been too busy to have time). I take care of my health. And also I'm reading. Not as fast as I was, not as regularly as I would like too but I'm reading. And I can feel the positive impact it has on my brain. Also I listen to SFF related podcasts at work and it genuinely give my brain good food. I even wrote some idea in a draft sheet for the first time in a long time. I have the creative part of my brain constantly working in the background. Don't think it would lead me anywhere to write, but I just love so much to have new ideas flooding through my brain.

But then, on the other side, there's like I said, the constant edge of having a mental breakdown. And it's all because of one thing: work. Luckily I'm good with my colleagues (although we're only that and I still have not friends in the neighborhood), and we are all like this close to the breaking point. Some have been absent for a while so I suspect them to have had the mental breakdown in question. But yeah, we work early, with a lot of extra hours, and they always ask for more and although we're in our rights to refuse it's still mentally draining. Not to mention that instead of simply suppressing our productivity bonus and telling it us like that, they just recalculated the whole thing so it's basically unreachable and it makes it looks like it's our fault if we don't get it. Anyway basically everyone is pissed off, not to mention we don't even know if our client is gonna stay anyway... So yeah work basically fuck everything up. I mean I've always been running on low energy so it's not the only excuse for my numbness but honestly working for a capitalist piece of shit company really takes all the fun in life... although our wages are minimum I'm trying not to complain a lot cause my way of living doesn't cost me that much (no cars, no friends to meet in a restaurant, too exhausted to go shopping etc.) so I'm fine with my finances and can go the fuck out somewhere else during my vacations. But... I have to go back... and yes basically I want to live. And even though I do have the finances to survive months without a job, my past broke family trauma does not allow me to think like that. I could never quit without having another secure job after. But the problem is that I'm way too exhausted to look for one. And also tbh I don't even know what to do with my life... truth to be told I don't want to work. Submitting to capitalism fucking suck. I'm thinking more and more about try some civil service exam, because if I get a position it would be secure. I'm not even doing it for money anyway (but like a few more days off maybe lmao). But yeah it's an exam. So it means I'd have to work on it to have a chance to succeed and tell me folk when am I supposed to find the energy to work on anything after a 40+ hours week of work????? So basically I can never talk about that with anyone, cause my colleagues are either on the same page and the other people just think saying "well look elsewhere there's plenty of opportunities" helps someone with severe anxiety and lack of confidence like me. Also speaking with people... basically every workplace is like that anyway... there's literally no escape from capitalism. Anyway still not trying anything else is totally my fault and I know it and I don't know what to do...

So yes I have to slice my brain in two different parts otherwise I would totally break apart. Thank god escapism is back in a more healthy way in my mind (I still spend way too much time mindlessly scrolling but it's better than before I'm telling you).

[editorialsonlife]

Reflections

It's been an interesting start to the year after a really long three years. And the thing I keep coming back to is that I want to feel good. I want to feel proud of myself again. I want to put in effort and feel it pay off. I want to try new things and be ok with failing or sucking at them again. I want to be an active participant in my life again, rather than feeling like I'm sitting on the sidelines watching it all unfold in front of me and I know how stupid that is to say (I've very actively chosen a new job and renovations and holiday and breaks and everything else over the last year) but I also think that with counselling and so much life analysis and trying to stay regulated and figure shit out I've just spent so. much. time. living in my head and very little time living in the world. I think the balance has just gone too far in the analytical direction rather than the active direction.

I want more of the good stuff around. I want more weekends away with girlfriends and more walks and laughter with Dave and more time spent living like holiday Catherine who gives way less of a fuck about practicalities and way more of a fuck about finding joy in dumb shit.

We were at the beach last week and it looked like it was about to rain so we weren't gunna go swimming, but ya know what? It rains, ya gunna get wet so just go swimming.

I want to build the weekly structures and routines so that I do have the freedom to go and do stuff. I want to get the housework done on weekdays so it's not a whole massive effort over the weekends. I want to spend my money on sensible stuff during the week so that I have money left over for all the good stuff I want to do on holiday. I want to exercise better now so that I can do all the great holiday activities later on. I want my workdays set up so they're actually productive, and I want enough sleep so I don't feel like I'm living on the edge of a breakdown all the time. I want less time on my phone and more time reading physical books. I want to be prioritising friends and catch ups over shitty netflix and boring crap.

Basically, I'm going to spend the year building the best routines I can with the discipline that I can muster (150% a skill I need to relearn) so that I am resourced enough to go and do all the cool shit I want to do.

As a fun aside, I usually do a year in review around new years (didn't happen this year) and set some goals and do a vision board but I keep dreaming about writing a manifesto. So I guess that might be what I end up doing this year.

I'm exceptionally grateful to myself for giving me permission to ease into this year and see how its going before making any big declarations or changes. Yay for self compassion and permission slips and concious effort directed well. Just need to keep that going!!!

[thelittlepalmtree]

I literally just had one of the most traumatic medical experiences of my life. Definitely not the most traumatic experience of my life but it's getting out there with medical experiences. And part of it is because I'm not actually that sick but there wasn't other avenues for me. So I've been having really heavy menstrual relieving for 8 days I'm talking like gushing blood, like losing several cups of blood each day. And I've been trying to work with my gynecologist I can't afford to take off work and they keep saying OK we'll call you and then asking you to call back and then when I call back they're not there and out there and like at 1 point someone says maybe you should just go to the emergency room so you can get blood work done and ultrasound and so I decided that I decided that if I was still bleeding I would go to the emergency room.

So I got there and they took my vitals within Half an hour. They took my blood within 3 hours. I got there at 6. When they took my vitals I told them that I needed blood drawn and an ultrasound and that was why I was there and that I'd come there on the recommendation of my gynecologist. After I got blood drawn at 9 PM I waited until 3 AM to get a room. It was over another hour and a 1/2 before I saw a doctor. She finally ordered the ultrasound. And I got the ultrasound done 40 minutes later. By this time I think it was 5 AM. I fell asleep I was kind of in-and-out of sleep and and a nurse came and asked me to give me to do a urine sample. I did that. I kind of fell asleep again another doctor came and told me literally exactly the same thing as the other doctor except she told me that the ultrasound was completely normal and there was nothing on the ultrasound like at all not even the other things that we had been monitoring. Like previously I had a really thick uterine lining that was gone. Which makes sense because I have shed more Uterine lining than I have uterus. He left and then and then finally an hour later someone came and took the IV out that they had given me when they took blood and and gave me my instructions so I could go home. All in all I spent 14 hours there.

Everyone that works there was lovely and very nice. But I low key had a mental breakdown. Keep in mind I wake up at 4:30 in the morning and I had already had an entire day including including teaching and therapy. And I'm just waiting this entire time and no one is talking to me I have given you information about every single person who talked to me. I was exhausted I was so tired and I was so overwhelmed with the fact that like none of this seemed necessary to me. Like if I had a broken leg or a physical injury or something like that it would have made sense. But ultimately what I needed was basically routine it's just that none of the offices were willing to be like at all accommodating to the fact that I'm a human being who works a full time job and can't just drop everything to get a fucking ultrasound. And I kept asking people like they told me to come here and they were like yeah this is where you come. And there was like no appreciation for the fact that I literally felt like I was going to lose it they're just from the waiting and being told nothing and feeling that there's no solution. I went through this huge ordeal for literally nothing. They did not give me any immediate help.

And not for lack of trying but they're not gynecologists. And I had therapy I decided to go to therapy instead of heading to the emergency room right after work because I knew I was gonna need to cycle myself up and I literally told my therapist my biggest fear was that I was gonna go and spend all night there and come back and still be bleeding everywhere and have no solutions. And that's exactly what happened. And there's other issues like the fact that the hospital seem to only have one doctor on staff for Friday night which makes no sense to me. Or the fact that like when I got there their beds were totally full. Or the fact that like I literally came in and said I needed my blood drawn and an ultrasound and no one decided to like just do those things to order those things. I mean they all agreed with me OK you probably aren't gonna need a blood drawn And an ultrasound. But the ultrasound wasn't ordered until I had already been there for like 10 hours.

And I know that there are people who have worse experiences in the ER. But what upsets me the most of that I felt like I really shouldn't have had to be there at all. I don't understand why something as easy as an ultrasound and getting blood drawn there was no way for me to do it outside going to the ER everyone told me that it was the right choice to go to the ER. And I can tell you this I asked them if I should come back if the bleeding doesn't stop and they said yes but I can guarantee you I am not going back unless I am literally dying. And I did all of this alone. I didn't have anyone there with me I didn't have any support I didn't have anyone to advocate for me. My medication is totally worn off. I went in like the worst possible mental state and I just I really felt like I was being tortured.

And it's not really any one specific person's fault. My gynecologist's office is definitely to blame For being so unwilling to work with me. I think the hospital is definitely to blame for being so understaffed on a Friday night. But other than that like everyone was just doing their best And doing their job.

[whiskehorange]

Hi, I’m so sorry to bother you but I’ve been feeling down lately and I really enjoy reading ur blog. Is it ok if you do Jason, micheal, bubba Thomas, Brahms ,pyramid head, asa and Harry warden if possible with an S/O who’s usually happy and willing and all of a sudden she breaks down one day bawling on the couch or something and she didn’t know they were there, not wanting to make them upset or sad? Sorry if it’s really sad, I just need a lil love, I love u and ur blog! Thank you! Take your time and drinks lots of water!

Jason

Uhm, excuse me bitch what in the fuck is going on? You gave you the right to scare the shit out of Jason like that?

When he first came home the weeping made him freeze. He was positive it wasn’t you, he had never even seen you frown before so this absolutely cannot be your crying. Yet, as he walked in to see you whip around, tears streaming down your face as you look at him in pure shock you almost send him falling backwards

He doesn’t even care what made you cry of feel this way he’s going to be up your ass the entire day. Coddling, kissing, rubbing, and doing any and all for of comforting that he knows how to do

Jason absolutely hates seeing you cry, especially as hard as you did. You’re more than welcome to talk to him about it for as long as you want whenever you want and all he will do is listen and comfort you

Jason is a very physically affectionate man, even though he is a bit hesitant at first, so when you feel yourself in a time like this, you bess’ believe that he’s going to be around you 24/7. Even a few days after that, he needs to be your therapist (which he’s real good at)

Michael

You won’t be able to see it, but Michael is panicking and sweating bullets underneath that mask. It’s an immediate fight or fight response

Michael, overall, isn’t too good with handling other peoples emotions, so don’t be surprised when he doesn’t come to you right away for any sort of comfort in those "typically ways"

Hugging, coddling, cuddling, and any typeof caressing is going to come later in the day when things have begun to quiet down. Not only is he completely unused to having to comfort you in anyway like this, but he's pretty pissed at whatever made you come to this point

The main thing Michael wants you to do is to talk to him, tell him what's wrong so that he knows just how to handle the situation: either to kill or to... not know what to do

It's very safe to say that he will get better with knowing how to comfort you if this does ever happen again, which he really hopes it won't.

Bubba

There is a lot that can make Bubba cry, at this is one of the times he wasn't expecting to. Everyday, no matter how hard it was for him, he knew he could count on your cheery face to great him when he comes running back inside

His first reaction is to panic; he's never been put in this sort of situation before with you and he really doesn't know how to approach you. He sort of just sits awkwardly next to you and whines

Comfort does eventually find your way with pets and hugs, there aren't really any verbal affirmations he can give you, but for what he lacks in communication he can make up with physical affection one way or another

A downside to Bubba, however, is that he almost has an out-of-sight-out-of-mind personality realistically. So don't get too upset if when you have some space from him that same day that he'll sort of forget you've been upset

In that case, be prepared for the exact same meltdown when he figures out how upset you've been for the second time

Thomas

Thomas' defense mode in immediately activated. Never would he have thought that he would have to be on the comforting side so you'll have to give him a minute, but it really isn't even that long

He's gentle and patient, he knows what its like to feel such extreme motions and most of all that they are pretty hard to get out, so take your time and he'll be here with you until you're back up on your feet. Literally

To say you scared him would be an understatement, but he pushes that aside to genuinely make sure that you are not physically hurt, because if that was the case whoever did it should be the one scared

Instead, Thomas has somewhere quiet for you to go with him, the least he would want is for Hoyt to complain about such "loud" crying in the house. It's better for him to give out physically comforting, too!

His go to's are hugs and petting/caressing, it's what he would want. It's comforting to say the least, but the fact that you can't even breath right doesn't go down well when he's crushing your spinal cord in a bear hug

Braham

However oblivious, he's oddly able to tell that you're acting different before you even get the chance to melt down. From all of the time spent watching you from within the walls, you can say that he knows you like the back of his hand

Brahms has absolutely no clue how to address you. Of course he's fended for himself for a long time but any sort of emotional help is foreign to him

He'll come around, of course, the moment that you do breakdown he's by your side and he's ready to do just about anything you tell him to do but he's on edge

However, the sort of comfort you will get from him will be physical, it's the best way he can quickly show any form of care for you that he thinks will work. Brahms absolutely hates seeing you this way because he want to be able to fix the problem and he just doesn't know how

He insists that you tell him whats wrong as he holds you, curled up, in his lap. Gently caressing your head and face as he listens to your soft cries and explanation. It's the best he can do for you and he knows that that he'll have to pay close attention to when you baby him next, that way he's prepared for whenever this might happen next

Pyramid Head

What the fuck even? Pyramid Head isn't going to catch on too soon, but the moment he hears your cries from anywhere he is by your side immediately

He hates it the most out everyone on this list, and I mean that heavily. Not only does he go on rampages because he doesn't know what's wrong, but it pisses him off to no end that he doesn't know how to handle it

Pyramid Head wants so bad to be able to comfort you and understand what's made you this upset that he can come across as a little overbearing, but mainly clingy. He doesn't leave your side well after you've stopped crying and makes sure to keep an eye on you from now on so that he can possibly be there before this happens again

While he isn't able to properly communicate to you, a lot of his body language displays signs of uncomforted alongside you. Just about any emotion you feel he absorbs and feels it right with you, mainly because its his way of showing you that you're not alone and he's here to spend this time with you

Just please don't ever do that again it's so stressful he likes seeing you bubbly not sad omfg-

Asa

Asa is the most unreadable, really. He's able to keep his composure the entire time as you bawl your eyes out before him, but inside he's shaking up a little. He doesn't like seeing you upset whens it's not for play of course, so it comes as a bit of a surprise for even him

He's a little hesitant to comfort you because he is surprised, but is also just one of the most distant when it comes to comfort in this way, While being used to your much brighter personality, eventually he'll get better at it for for the time being, you don't have to deal with much of him

There is some physical reassurance, so you're not completely neglected, but Asa does have other things to do. He gently takes you in his arms and leads you up to the bedroom where he lays you down, caressing your head and covering you up

He'll leave to get you water or a drink and some other small things like your phone or a small snack if you haven't eaten, but mostly your phone so that you can call or text him if you need him. From there he'll shut the lights iff and let you get a bit of sleep

Asa stays in the house and cancels any outside plans for the day and makes sure that his phone's ringer is on at all times. By the time you call him for something he'll be up to your room before the ringtone even ends

Harry

Harry is most definitely clueless and will feel like he's going to cry right alongside you. Harry is not good at handling his own emotions let alone yours

He adored being around your bright and shining face everyday, it was something that could regulate his own and he clung to you like a moth to a lamp. So, you can only image the confusion and terror Harry experiences when he comes home to you the complete opposite

It's a very frantic sort of comfort that he gives you, moving from one thing to another to try to figure out what's wrong and what do to. It's really almost as if Harry feels your emotions stronger than you do, but he wants to do everything in his power to fix you

He comes home extra aware in the future, always prepared to be there by your side in hopes to deal with your feelings better, but he still doesn't like it at all. He goes out of his way to do more things around the house of for you in general to lessen up any stress, even if there was none in the first place

[waifu-13]

wish you were sober

kakashi angst.

an- lolz didnt mean to be depressed then dip anygays here more angst btw Kakashi is based off a real person in this situation not how I perceive Kakashi, I know yall like my writing for how I do a good job at doing things based off the character , anyways for every relog I may get a minute of their time :)

tw- mentions of alcohol.  fighting, 

This again, a constant loop of lovely days now mixed with the smell of alcohol on his breath. The words he manages to say in full sentences is just lies at this point, you nod simply knowing the out come of it all. not remembering an sober days of him or if anything he says is alcohol endured lies

"all yours this weekend okay?" Kakashi says mid slur

"ok" you coldly respond, please as If he meant it this time. he said it before what will change. 

“nowww nigh my dear” he leans in to kiss your forehead to which you move out of the way leaving him confused 

“goodnight Kakashi”  you respond shutting down the conversation for the night

and as the days come and go, Sunday night  arrives you were right, he forgot or simply didn't care. As he walks in you look at him and walk into a different room locking the door. After a few minutes you hear a faint knocking on the door 

“babe please I'm sorry, here next weekend I swear this time ill be all yours now please open the door” his voice faint through the door 

“sure you mean it, now goodnight. you could of let me know you got busy” you didn't open the door, to hurt to face him. you just wanted alittle bit of his time which he didn't seem to understand or care enough about your feelings. Going to bed upset and in a different space then him. 

Once again the days pass with some slightly regular conversation happening between you two but just like last time you watch Saturday come and go then Sunday nigh hits and you get a text

“sorry babe, I know you wanted to do something today, Tuesday we’ll do something” you doubt this, you doubted all of it from the start but for once you wished you wrong, you hoped he actually meant what he said but all the doubt you have you still wait for Tuesday. 

Monday finishes then Tuesday morning arrives and you wait...and wait, then send text and your left on seen.. he didn't care enough to tell you anything. As midnight hits you hear a knock on the door. you get up to open it only to see the gray haired man standing in the doorway. 

‘no, go away” not even wanting to hear a pitiful excuse for him 

“hey no, listen please? “ 

“yk what? sure tell me how you kept fucking up please fucking tell me what's more important to you then following through. or even fucking caring to tell me what's keeping you away? “ slightly raising your voice trying to breakdown, he lost the right to see you so vulnerable 

“ dear you know I'm busy, I'm sorry. I know you've been lonely, c'mon one more chance?’‘ he leans against the doorframe. does this man really think he’s in the place to keep asking for favors? 

“why do you think your in the place to ask me for anything? yeah I've been fucking lonely and hurt. just fucking go. ill pack your shit. it will be by door in the morning . don text me, call me, anything. now step back please” Kakashi steps back trying to process what just happened, you close the door and turn off your phone. He wasn't worth the pain he kept putting your heart through the countless nights you cried yourself to sleep. the countless “ you did this to your ex tho” comments after mentioning the problem,. All the times you put your feelings second to be there for him or the time he put your pain second to ask to borrow money. You did what you needed... from now on its you first. 

.

     . 

      Honestly you always let me down

And I know we're not just hanging out