#fun fact: my very first edition is on the top row... second from the left

[bennetsbonnet]

Pride and Prejudice book covers (1894 - present)

[snarkwrites]

round two of my ✨thot✨ spam

this was inspired by the “i would never let a man spit in my mouth” tiktok and while i whole heartedly agree with said sentiment, i would totally let ryan do that to me without question. if anyone else tried to do that, it would be hands on site. BUT ALSO the fact that he could call me a whore [ or any other variation ] and i’d thank him - ❤️

Ooooh, I love this one. One, I can totally see Ryan doing it. T O T A L L Y. Also, I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment too. I LOVE THIS OMG, YEAH.. Lemme see what I can come up with here.

Just for reasons, I'm gonna go ahead and venture this might well... Get dirty.

Life edit: I kept it mostly clean.. Mostly. Sexual encounter is heavily hinted at.

Warning:

Absolutely no minors here. If you're not 18+ you clearly do not need to be reading this, whether it's full on sexual or not, because sexual themes will be implied. So, if you're one of the kiddos, please take this time to click away from the adult content.

If you continue to read beyond this point, here are a few things you need to be on the look out for: dirty talk / light name calling & heavy af on the teasing / public makeouts....

It didn't get sexual BUT... it's filled with innuendo. Oops?

Tagging:

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@twistnet

[ faq - tag list doc ]

( at me all you want. I'll stop using this gif when he stops being so damn pretty when he's a lil wounded.)

RYAN WOLFE & dirty little girl;

“You’re all depraved, holy shit.” I glanced around the table at my sister and her friends, taking a sip of my margarita. Grimacing because it tasted as if someone doubled up on the tequila and skimmed on the margarita mix.

“All I’m saying is sometimes it’s fun to be dirty. You’ve never just given in to the urge to let a man spit in your mouth?” Natalia asked, more in teasing than anything. Smirking at me when I pretended to gag because I have a strong feeling she can see straight through my bullshit.

“What the fuck? No! I would never let a man spit in my mouth. I don’t know why ya’ll keep saying spit in my mouth, spit in my mouth. It’s not hot, okay? It’s gross.”

“There has to be that one guy you’d let do it. Everybody has that one person.” my sister gave me a teasing grin as she said it. I shook my head firmly. “Nope. No and no. I have never looked at a man and just thought “Oh hey, I’d gladly let that man spit in my mouth and call me his dirty little slut…”

“That’s oddly specific for someone who says she’s never thought about it and thinks it’s gross.” my sister was at it again, teasing me. I tensed a little, because of course, she was right. I’d die a thousand painful deaths before owning up to it, but she was 1000 percent correct. There was a guy.

But it was a non issue. Because the guy in question?

Only had eyes for my sister Natalia.

Ryan Wolfe.

“I think you’re onto something, Nat.” Calleigh mused as she gave me a thoughtful look. I could feel myself tensing. Quick to shake my head no. Quick to laugh and joke, “Oh no, trust me, she’s not. Just face it, ladies. I have my limits. There are no exceptions.”

Calleigh gave a soft laugh and shook her head. Taking a thoughtful sip from her mixed drink. I relaxed, thinking that maybe they’d both drop it.

And then Alexx spoke up.

“It’s Ryan.”

I shook my head, doing what I hoped was my best unaffected and unamused act. Sipping my drink and watching the guys in the back of the bar, gathered around the dartboard. It was Ryan’s turn to throw and naturally, my eyes were glued to him. Laughing to myself when he smirked and launched the dart and it just barely settled beneath the bullseye.

But I was curious enough to ask… “What makes you think that?” I asked Alexx. My intention was to figure out if maybe I wasn’t as good as hiding my feelings as I previously thought.

Alexx gave a soft laugh and shrugged, saying nothing.

My sister was watching me, a brow raised. Thinking long and hard about something as she sipped her drink.

“You’re not denying it.” she finally spoke up.

I shrugged. “Because I know the truth. Doesn’t matter that you guys don’t believe me.” I turned my attention back to the ongoing game of darts, slamming back a shot of tequila. Ryan’s turn came around again and when he landed a bullseye, we locked eyes. He flashed me that smirk and I bit my lip, pounding the bar as I held his gaze, smirking back. Ordering myself another round of tequila shots when the bartender came.

When my shots arrived, I slammed them all down, turning the shot glasses upside down, forming the first and second row of a pyramid. Wiping the back of my hand over my mouth as I found myself doing it again, staring at Ryan just a little too much.

“Maybe we’d believe you if you weren’t staring at him like you were on fire and he has the hose.” my sister teased, making me glance over at her and stick out my tongue. “I still wouldn’t let him spit in my mouth. I mean.. I don’t think I would…” I trailed off, going quiet. Well aware that I was dangerously close to letting everything come pouring out.

“Says the woman who openly admits to having more than a few kinks.” my sister teased, laughing. Pushing me when she heard what I said under my breath. “What was that? Was that doubt? If you’re not sure whether you’d let Ryan Wolfe spit in your mouth or not, that usually means you might be open to it.” my sister teased.

“My kinks are choking and bondage… Spanking on occasion. Not… That.” I scoffed, smiling at the looks on their faces when they all turned to look at me. I shrugged and slipped off the barstool.

“Where are you going?” Calleigh called out, an almost teasing gleam in her eye as she asked the question.

“I’m going to show those dorks how you play darts.” I answered, trying to maintain as much nonchalance as possible as I did so. Truth be told, I wanted to get away from the conversation before it got too deep.. Before they dragged the whole truth out of me.

“You mean you’re going to go get a closer look. It’s okay, go ahead.” my sister and Calleigh teased and I turned to walk backwards, flipping them both off as I went. “Ha freaking ha. I am not going to get a closer view of Ryan Wolfe. And if I were, what’s it to ya anyway? It’s a free country. And I can’t help it my eyes like lookin at him?”

As a parting jab, my sister called out, “Spit in my mouth.” and the three women dissolved into rowdy laughter as I poked out my tongue and rolled my eyes at them, calling out in response, “Okay, fine. Maybe I’d let him spit in my mouth and call me a dirty little slut. Maybe.”

My back smashed into someone just as soon as the words left my mouth. I gritted my teeth, swallowing hard as my ice cold beer spilled all over the front of my favorite white shirt. Soaking through immediately, revealing a fire engine red bra. I turned abruptly, prepared for it to be some drunk person, a stranger. Praying against everything that it was just that.

Naturally, it wasn’t. I wasn’t going to get that lucky.

Ryan stood there, staring at me thoughtfully. Almost a stunned look on his face. The look he was giving me faded and I swallowed hard, raising my free hand to tousle my hair.

“Shit.” I muttered softly. I could feel my stomach churning nervously.

Ryan chuckled, nodding at my shirt as he took off the button up he wore, leaving him in a white tank top. Holding out the shirt to me. “Looks like you need that more than me right now.”

All I could do was nod.

And for some odd reason, the entire “Spit in my mouth” debate I’d just been in with my sister and her friends replayed itself in my mind. And I wanted to disappear into the floor of the bar when I realized that he’d probably just heard every single thing I said… ,, maybe not. Maybe he didn’t.” the thought came, but when I saw the playful teasing gleam in his eyes, my stomach churned nervously because I knew he had to have heard it all. Every single word.

I bit my lip and took a shaky breath. As much as I hated asking the question, it had to be asked.

“How much did you hear?” I asked in as innocent a way as possible. Fidgeting and shuffling my feet under his intent and thoughtful stare.

All Ryan did was smirk and shrug. “I heard enough.”

“How much is enough?” I asked, not sure why I wasn’t just leaving it alone.

Ryan stepped closer, towering over me. His hand settled on my hip and his eyes settled on my lips as he licked his own. Seconds that seemed to drag on like hours passed and he finally leaned down enough to whisper against my ear quietly, “Let’s put it this way… I heard you say you liked looking at me. Among other things...” before standing up straight again, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

I swayed slightly, the beginnings of a healthy buzz taking over. Giggling at the way he kept staring at me, raising a hand to my mouth to stop the giggling. He reached out, lowering my hand. Pulling me against him slightly as a crowd made their way past.

He tilted my face so that I had to look up at him. Biting his lip. That thoughtful look in his eyes that prompted me to ask quietly, “What? Do I have something on my face? Lipstick on my teeth?”

“Just thinking.” Ryan answered quietly.

“About?” I questioned, holding his gaze. Smirking to myself a little when he looked away first.

“ How much I like looking at you too.” Ryan finally replied. I swallowed hard when his eyes locked on me all over again. Hints of a teasing smirk turning the corners of his mouth upward as he closed the distance between us. His hands went straight to my hips settling. His fingers digging in as I melted against him.

“Oh you do, hm?” I purred, raising to tiptoe. Leaning into the buzz I had going for the necessary courage to just let go and roll with whatever was happening.

“Very much, actually.” his voice was this perfect mix of velvet and gravel and I could feel my thighs getting slick under the weight of his gaze. His eyes roamed over me slowly. I gulped and licked my lips, found myself staring at his.

“You didn’t… hear anything else I said..Right?”

Ryan chuckled. His mouth inched towards mine. Almost painfully slow.

“Which part? The part where you said you might let me spit in your mouth and call you my dirty little slut?” he muttered just as his lips barely brushed against mine. He pulled away, smirking. Teasing me and I knew it. The realization had me pouting and dropping my gaze.

Which wouldn’t do for him, apparently, because he gripped my chin, guiding my face so that I had no choice but to look at him.

“Ya know…” he muttered in a daze as his tongue slipped past my lips, dominating the kiss as it deepened, “ typically, I’d prefer to buy you a drink or somethin first.” the kiss breaking so we could breathe.

“Yeah?” I breathed out, pouting at the end of the kiss. He chuckled and nodded, whispering quietly, “But honestly, as bad as I want you right now…” his hand circled my wrist, guiding my hand down to the way he strained against the khaki trousers he was wearing, letting me palm at the bulge. “I don’t wanna waste any time.”

“Get me out of here.”

Ryan scooped me up in his arms, carrying me towards the door. Once we were outside and standing beside his car, he sat me on the hood, moving to step between my legs. Devouring my mouth with his hungrily. His lips strayed, latching onto my neck as my hand slipped down between us, palming at the front of his trousers all over again. Making him buck against the movement of my hand and growl into my mouth, “You gonna show me how dirty you can be tonight, princess? Are you gonna be my dirty little girl?” as the kiss deepened, getting sloppier. I rubbed against him, clinging to him frantically, gasping out “Yes.” as I felt myself getting even wetter. His hand slipped down, settling palm flat against my aching sex, rubbing. The friction building had me rocking against his hand, earning me a smirk from him.

“Good girl.”

[thisbrokenmask]

Tease

Title: Tease

Pairing: Namjoon x reader

Genre: Established relationship, light smut, slight fluff?

Warnings: Mentions of dom/sub themes (literally just a mention of how Joon takes control), semi-public, heavy petting, teasing, possessive boyfriend, light smut.

Word Count: 5.6k

Song inspiration: Burning Up (Fire)

A/N: My fourth submission for ficswithluv’s Bulletproof Bingo Event is finally here! This is my longest one so far, sort of a commission for a friend of mine who isn’t on tumblr. I asked her to pick my next song from my bingo card and then asked her what kind of thing she wanted and which member/s she wanted to feature. All she gave me was ‘something passionate’ and nominated our very own President Joon. I sent her this earlier this evening and let’s just say she was pretty happy with it! It’s the closest to smut I’ve written in a long time, which is why it took me so long to write as I was making more edits than normal to make sure it was to a level I was happy with.

Also, for the purposes of this story, Y/N is the same age as Taehyung and Jimin :)

The heat around you was stifling, and yet you couldn’t imagine wanting to be anywhere else right now. 

You held your necklaces down against your chest as you jumped in time with the beat, the bass line emphasised by the hundreds of other bodies that were doing the same around you.  You hadn’t stopped smiling the whole time you’d been here, but you’d given up on singing along a few songs ago, your throat dry and starting to scratch after an hour or so of belting out your favourite lyrics. You hadn’t wanted to risk losing your spot right at the front just to get a drink, especially when you knew the set was nearly over, so you’d persevered. 

Your eyes drifted shut as you felt the familiar euphoria wash over you, the same feeling you got every time you got lost in one of these underground shows. Even in the dim lighting, your skin was glistening with the sheen of sweat, the small venue meaning that, even at a limited capacity, the audience was forced to be in even closer proximity than they would be at a normal gig. While you would normally be a bit wary of being so close to so many strangers that contact was unavoidable, there was a sense of security in the fact that everyone else was here because they were into the music as much as you were. If this was a normal nightclub, you’d be stood with your back to the bar and a wary eye on anyone who so much as blinked in your direction.

This wasn’t a normal nightclub, though. This was a strict, word-of-mouth-only gig, a rarity now that the band above you was becoming more and more well known, but it meant that the only people who knew about it were from the scene the guys themselves had grown from and, despite the bad press underground music seemed to get, you’d never met a more respectful group of partiers in your life. Sure, you got jostled and nudged and bumped into, but there was nothing untoward in any of the contact you experienced. No wandering hands or unwanted touches, just the consequences of people getting as lost in the music as you were. 

Besides, they all knew who you were, and so they subsequently knew that any bad word from you would lead to Namjoon banning them for life. You’d repeatedly told him it was too extreme a punishment, but he was adamant. No one touched his girlfriend except him, and that was the end of it. 

Your teeth sank into your lower lip as you imagined Namjoon being able to see you from the stage. You knew that the sight of you amongst the sea of writhing bodies must have been driving him crazy, especially when he’d repeatedly told you that you could watch the gig from the wings of the stage so that he didn’t have to suffer for the whole two hours. But making him wait rather than letting him steal kisses during the breaks in the set was all part of your fun, knowing that the pent up frustration would pay off to both of your benefits before the night was over. 

Another part of your fun was pretending to watch everyone but him. You spent most of the gig watching him, always enthralled by the performer he was, but whenever he looked over to you, you would enjoy letting your gaze linger on Hobi’s hips the few times he would dance freestyle or following Jimin’s hand every time he pushed his hair back from his face. If Namjoon didn’t know it was all part of the game you both played, you wouldn’t do it, but there was something about the way his jaw got tighter every time he caught you watching one of his bandmates that caused a heat to rise from within you. Not to mention the thought of how he would insist you needed reminding who you belonged to afterwards. 

Just the thought of what was to come was enough to let your head drop back onto your shoulders, crooking the arm raised above your head at the elbow to push your own hair away from your neck in a vain attempt to get some cool air on your skin. 

When your eyes finally opened, they were magnetically drawn to Namjoon’s sunglasses, the red frames a stark contrast to the silver hair he was currently sporting. You were close enough to see the beads of sweat at his temples and the way his eyes were locked onto you through his dark lenses. You held his gaze just long enough for him to register that you were looking at him before shifting your focus to Taehyung. You smirked at the way Namjoon’s jaw muscles clenched in your peripheral vision and, knowing that the next was their last song, you decided that tonight was as good a time as any to up the ante in your teasing. 

As Namjoon stepped forward to make the announcement to the crowd that confirmed that this was, in fact, going to be their last song of the night, you took your chance while he was distracted. Looking down as you untucked your top from your shorts, you let your hair fall back over your face to hide the cheshire grin you could feel pushing against your cheeks. The loose material billowed up slightly as it was freed, reminding you why you’d tucked it in to begin with, but you gathered it up in your hands to tie it across your chest. The simple knot rested just under the swell of your breasts as a result, which, combined with the low neckline, left little to the imagination. If it wasn’t for your inherent trust in the crowd around you, you’d never dream of showing so much skin at a gig, but you felt safe enough here to do so. 

You stifled a giggle when you caught Jin watching you, sending a cheeky wink his way that made him shake his head with a playful roll of his eyes. You watched him subtly lean in to Yoongi and murmur something in his ear as Namjoon expressed his thanks to everyone who had turned up. You saw the older rapper’s eyes shift to your face, drop down to your exposed midriff and then shoot back up to your eyes again. You shrugged and feigned a pout, fanning yourself with your hands to show you were making the heat your excuse, but Yoongi simply laughed, wiping a hand over his face as he looked away. 

They knew as well as you did that this would be more than enough to distract Namjoon, maybe it was even verging on being too distracting, but you couldn’t find it in you to care all too much. Your opportunities to play with your boyfriend’s patience during performances were now few and far between, and not only because the front row at a stadium concert was much further away than the front row at a 250-person gig; Namjoon didn’t let you in the crowds at their bigger concerts for your own safety, especially since your relationship had become public just over a year ago. No, when they toured and you were lucky enough to make it, you watched from the wings with the tech crew. But here, you had insisted that he let you be part of the crowd again, telling him you wanted to see him in his element just as you had when you’d first met and fallen in love with him. When he’d relented, you’d known you were going to milk it for all it was worth.

By the time Namjoon was wrapping up his speech with a shout of ‘불타오르네!’, the news of your plan had spread through the other members on the stage. Jimin and Taehyung had both shot you grins as wide as your own, grinning at the back of their leader and laughing between themselves, no doubt making bets on how long it would take for two things to happen: first, for Namjoon to notice you, and second, for Namjoon to drag you away from the rest of the band when you went to meet them backstage. Hobi, just like Jin and Yoongi, had shaken his head only to be betrayed by the smirk on his mouth before imperceptibly sending a sharp dig into Jungkook’s ribs with his elbow, the maknae seemingly frozen to the spot with a water bottle halfway to his lips. Startled, Jungkook’s face flushed red as he turned away, much to the delight of his hyungs despite the wary glances he was shooting at Namjoon. You felt a small twinge of guilt, knowing how much Jungkook respected your boyfriend as his leader and you as his noona but, given that he could also be incredibly cheeky towards you when he’d let a few glasses of soju pass his lips, you felt you were well within your rights to still be able to make him blush.

The cheer of the crowd brought your eyes back to Namjoon as he stepped back from the front of the stage. As they got ready to perform, you saw Jimin lean over and speak right into Namjoon’s ear, and for a second you thought he might be ratting you out, spoiling your fun. However, when all Namjoon did was nod and rearrange his shirt on his shoulders as he turned back to the crowd, a small sigh of relief relaxed your shoulders. 

You watched as Namjoon let the rising tempo wash over him, tipping his head back and breathing deeply as he waited for the beat to drop, and you felt a shiver creep up your spine as you waited for him to notice you. Despite how much you’d enjoyed teasing him all night, you now found yourself unable to take your eyes off of him. You couldn’t look away if you tried, desperate to see the exact moment he noticed you and your newly arranged outfit, though, if you had, you would have seen the way Jimin snuck a glance at you with a grin. Even as you let yourself get swept up in the crowd jumping around you, your eyes stayed firmly on Namjoon. 

All throughout the opening chorus, he jumped about with his bandmates like they always did, throwing arcs of water over the crowd and joining in with the rhythmic bouncing on his feet. Even during Hobi and Yoongi’s verse, he seemed to stay over on the other side of the stage from you, and you could feel yourself growing frustrated. As much as you tried to remind yourself that Namjoon was nothing if not a generous performer, wanting to interact with as much of the audience as he could, you couldn’t help but feel that he was purposefully ignoring you. Maybe you had gone too far with your game, even though you were sure you hadn’t been any worse than normal. 

If they were performing the choreography, you’d understand Namjoon’s distance, but considering they’d decided to forgo the routine for their last song, it meant Namjoon was purposefully avoiding coming near you. The image of Jimin whispering in your boyfriend’s ear flashed up in your memory and you began to think maybe, just maybe, Jimin was trying to sabotage you. After all, you knew he’d most likely made a bet with Taehyung and you also knew Jimin was not against trying to sway the odds in his own favour. 

You called it cheating, he called it being strategic. 

His pink hair seemed to glimmer under the stage lights as he sang his part of the hook alongside Jungkook at the front of the stage, holding out his mic to the crowd for the recalls, his grin as wide as it always was when he got to perform so closely to his fans. He caught your gaze as the chorus kicked in but quickly looked away. Given the playful flirtiness you and Jimin had always had as a part of your friendship, both before and after you and Namjoon had started dating, his looking away from you without first sending a cheeky wink your way had you wondering if there wasn’t something more going on. 

You found it hard to keep up with the energy of the crowd as they bounced in time with the music, feeling like your thoughts were coming too quickly for you to hear them properly as you tried to figure out what was going on. As your feet came to a stop on the hard floor below you, you noticed that none of the seven men on the stage would meet your eyes in return. Not even Jungkook, who seemed to be able to sense it if you looked at him for longer than a few seconds.

It’s probably nothing, a small voice in your head made its way to the forefront of your conscious mind. It’s the last song, let them give the crowd what they want. 

“Hey, burn it up-” Namjoon’s voice cut through your thoughts, his verse bringing him to the front of the stage with a rise of cheers to meet him. He was just a few people across from you, leaning out over the first row of the crowd, and even this sudden increase in proximity after watching him on the stage all night was enough to bring your heart rate up. Your eyes darted around his face like you hadn’t seen him in weeks, taking in the sharp line of jaw, the damp hair at his temples, the way his lips formed around his words right up against the mic… 

You could also see his eyes behind his sunglasses from this angle and, with a hitch in your breath, you realised that he was watching you out of the corner of his eye. His dark gaze languidly drifted down your body as his deep voice continued to rumble out of the speakers, lingering at what you guessed must be your exposed waist before snapping back up to look you straight in the eye. You let your smile return as you gazed up at him from under your lashes but, rather than seeing any sort of approval cross his face, Namjoon’s brow seemed to furrow briefly before he turned away just in time for Hobi to join him, the two of them slinging their arms around each other’s shoulders. Being the subject of Namjoon’s attention never failed to spark a tingling sensation in your spine and this game of pushing each other to the limits in public was one you both enjoyed, regularly discussing where the borders of fun and actual frustration laid. The shivers that spread from your spine outwards to the tips of your fingers and all the way down to your toes was a confusing, heady mix of fear that he was actually unimpressed and arousal that he was trying to exert his dominance even from the stage. Even you couldn’t tell, despite how well you knew Namjoon, and it was a situation you hadn’t been in since you’d first started playing this game, back before you were publicly dating and you first tested the waters of trying to tempt him while he was on stage. 

The crowd continued to pulse and swell around you in time with the music like waves crashing up against a cliff and, in the same way a cliff withstands the waters, you were unmoved by the energy around you. All you could do was watch Namjoon, waiting for him to give you another dose of the attention he had just given you a taste of so that you could figure out what he was thinking. Pressing your thighs against each other as you felt the heat in your abdomen spread lower, you tried to repress the shiver that crept up your spine at the conflicting feelings you were experiencing. 

But it seemed as if a taste was all Namjoon was willing to give you as he went back to either dancing around the opposite side of the stage or purposefully looking out over and above you to the rest of the crowd. Arcs of water once again flew out across the crowd, their cheers reaching fever pitch as Jimin, Hobi and Taehyung indulged the crowd, performing small snippets of the dance break.

It wasn’t until the final chorus began to fade out that Namjoon met your eye again, this time simply nodding his head towards the door that led backstage as you saw the telltale twitch in his jawline. 

Fuck. 

As subtly as you could, you stepped back from the very front to make your way through the crowd to the left of the stage, ducking your head as you went. You cast one last cursory glance before turning down the small corridor that led to the backstage door, only to see that no one was watching you leave. Namjoon was back in among his bandmates as they lined the front of the stage, jumping along with the crowd before them.

Your heart was hammering in your chest as you made your way down the side of the stage, hastily pulling the front of your shirt free from the knot you’d thought was such a good idea not five minutes earlier. You weren’t sure if it was fear or just finally being away from the mass of bodies, but a chill ghosted over your arms as you fished your pass out of the small cross-body purse you were wearing (a gift from Hobi, of course) and held it up for the man stationed by the door. Seemingly satisfied after a very brief glance, he pushed the door open for you and let you through, pulling it shut behind you. 

As you passed the small steps that led up to the wings, you could hear the music fading out despite the renewed cheering that echoed down the hall in front of you. You’d never been here before, but you had been to enough venues of various sizes to find your way to the lounge area quite easily. Slipping inside, you smiled at the few members of BigHit staff that were waiting to help out post-performance, a few of the make-up eonnis waving you over to give you brief hugs. Just as they were asking you how the show had been, the echoes of loud footsteps and laughter started to come down the corridor and it became evident the boys had left the stage. Flashing a smile at the women beside you, you made your way over to the sofa on the other side of the room as they readied themselves for the organised chaos that always followed a gig.

Jin and Yoongi were the first ones to come through the door, unsurprisingly, both immediately finding their chairs and handing off their jackets to the waiting pairs of hands from wardrobe. Jin’s gaze locked with yours in his mirror. You didn’t miss how his eyes darted down to take in your smoothed-out shirt but, before you could ask where Namjoon was, he simply smirked and turned his attention back to Yoongi, who was talking beside him. 

Jimin and Jungkook tumbled in next with Taehyung close behind them, Jimin bent over in giggles and Jungkook talking rapidly with Taehyung, every back and forth between them bringing a fresh wave of laughter from their hyung. As he straightened up, Jimin was immediately ushered over to another of the make-up stations while Jungkook wandered over to wardrobe to hand over his jacket and begin taking off his outer shirt. Taehyung, the only one seemingly not bothered with removing his clothes or his make-up, came over to your side of the room with a feigned nonchalance that you could see right through. You knew him well enough by now to know that his barely-concealed grin meant he was dying to tell you something, but he had clearly sworn his secrecy as, instead of talking to you, he simply grabbed a bottle of water from the table beside you and winked as he turned away again, twisting the plastic cap open.

You weren’t sure if you were imagining the growing tension in the room as each of the present members seemed to catch each other’s gazes, none of them putting any effort into hiding their glances at you. Nervous energy was now thrumming through you, your right leg bouncing on the ball of your foot and your hands tightly interlocked on your lap. Before he could move away, you took a shot at trying to weaken Taehyung’s resolve.

“Taehyung-ah?” The man in question simply raised an eyebrow with a hum of acknowledgement. You looked up at him with widened eyes and a hint of pleading in your tone. “Where’s Namjoonie?” 

You’d stopped using ‘oppa’ for your boyfriend not long after you’d started dating, feeling a little bit uncomfortable with using the term for the man you were sleeping with as well as his older bandmates. Besides, he was more than happy with you using his nickname as a substitute for the honorific; at least, he was when you had company.

Taehyung glanced around with an exaggerated look of confusion, as if he’d only just realised Namjoon wasn’t yet in the room, before turning to you with what you could only describe as a mischievous smile, “I’m sure he’ll be here soon, Y/N-ah.”

Low and behold the door opened then for the final time, Hobi and Namjoon seemingly in deep conversation with one of the managers as they came into the room. You shifted in your spot, tucking a leg under yourself to refrain from running over to him and interrupting, and your hands started turning white as they gripped each other even tighter. Everyone else in the room tuned out of your senses as you watched Namjoon in conversation. It seemed the way he could enrapture you without even trying was never going to fade, your body sitting up straighter and your heart beating faster as your eyes drank him in, in all his post-performance glory. His sweat-dampened hair and flushed face made you subtly adjust the foot beneath you to put pressure against your core through your jeans, the sight so remarkably close to how he looked after sex that it almost made you whimper. 

Namjoon’s brow furrowed slightly as he carefully listened to the conversation around him before a smile lit up his features once more, Hobi’s laughter following immediately afterwards. When Hobi wandered over to talk to Jungkook, Namjoon finally looked up at you, his dark eyes immediately finding yours without hesitation. He held your gaze for what felt like an eternity, your heart hammering so fast inside your chest you were sure he could hear it even 10 feet away, until his eyes dropped to your clothes. You noticed the slight tilt of his head as he took in your untied shirt, an eyebrow rising slightly as he looked back up to your face, a question clear in his eyes. Feeling the opportunity to play arising once more, you tipped your head to the side in response as if asking what he was looking for, the small action making him smile with a glint in his eyes as they unabashedly roved over you once more. 

He turned as his name was suddenly called out, your eye contact breaking briefly before he gave you one last glance. The darkness in his eyes that vanished as soon as his attention was elsewhere made you know that look was only for you, and the thought sent a tantalising shiver through your body. He dropped into the make-up chair Jin had just vacated, Taehyung dropping into Yoongi’s just seconds later, and kept his gaze down towards his phone, his fingers already tapping away rapidly. You continued to watch him for a few seconds before realising that you were full-on staring at him and, while he was your boyfriend and you had every right to look at him as much as you wanted, it probably looked a little bit scary to other people in the room. 

You settled back into the sofa once more with a sigh, diverting your attention to the other people in the room. You took these few moments to catch your breath, trying to calm your heart for the inevitable moment you would have to stand up to leave. You knew the boys weren’t stupid, but stumbling out on shaky legs would only add to the teasing they already loved to throw at you. You watched the rest of the band joke around with each other as they went through their normal post-show routines, although you couldn’t ignore that they normally would have come over to talk to you by now. The tension you’d felt building earlier was still there, a discreet undercurrent that made your shoulders tense slightly.

“Ahem.” The sound of Namjoon clearing his throat beside you made you jump, turning to see him standing over you with a hand outstretched, almost close enough to touch your cheek. You looked up to his eyes only to find them almost black as they stared back down at you. “Come with me,” he said, his voice was quiet but firm. “We need to talk.”

The sudden dryness of your mouth made it difficult to swallow as you carefully put your hand on top of his upturned palm, his fingers immediately closing over it to pull you up. As soon as you were on your feet, he turned to lead you out of the room with a determination that almost made you stumble as he pulled you along behind him. 

“Joon?” You struggled to find your voice as you entered the cool corridor, the sudden change in temperature after the warmth of the lounge making you shiver. “Is everything okay?”

Silently, your boyfriend turned right and led you further away from the stage and the rest of the club. Despite his silence, the squeeze he gave to your hand reassured you that he wasn’t angry; you knew that he wouldn’t even be holding your hand right now if he was. You passed another door, your eyes just able to read ‘Maintenance’ written across it before turning around the corner, the door to the parking garage in sight at the end of the corridor. Before you could fully form the thought that Namjoon was going to drive you both home, he suddenly stopped and turned back to you, twisting his hand to link his fingers with yours. 

“You sure do like to push my buttons, don’t you, princess?” If it wasn’t for Namjoon’s left hand pushing your hips back into the wall, you’re certain your knees would have given out when you heard his voice, deep and rasping as he leant to put his face against the crook of your neck. A whimper stopped short in your throat but your body didn’t let you down, flushing with heat as your back already began to arch into him. Namjoon’s body covered yours, your eyes drifting shut as his lips brushed against your neck under your ear. 

“I- I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you whispered back, your free hand fisting the hem of his shirt, your intertwined hands pressed up against the wall where he held them.

“No? Are you sure?” The hand on your hip drifted up slowly, pushing your shirt up along the curve of your waist as Namjoon took your earlobe between his teeth with enough pressure to send a jolt of pleasure through you. The warmth of his skin on yours made you shiver, the firm pressure of his hand making you lean your body into him. ”Do I have to remind you?” His hand left your ribs to grab the hem of your shirt, lifting the material and bunching it together just under your breasts, the cold air of the corridor hitting your skin immediately and contrasting the heat of his hand against your breastbone. “This ring any bells?” Namjoon pressed his mouth to your neck, lips parted slightly to let his warm breath heat your skin even more.

“Maybe,” you breathed out with a slight shake to your voice that you couldn’t conceal, pushing your hips forward to meet his before pulling them away again. “What about it?”

The rumble of Namjoon’s chuckle sent vibrations down your neck, his hips following yours to press against you, your slight height difference allowing him to push his hardened length right against your abdomen.

“Do you not think it’s hard enough for me to concentrate when I can see you in the crowd?” He pulled back to put his forehead against yours, eyes open and dangerously dark as they stared into yours. “Watching you in amongst all those bodies, watching people touch you while having to act like nothing’s wrong? Not able to come down and make sure everyone knows you’re mine?”” His words ghosted over your lips and he nudged your nose with his. You could feel his grip on your shirt tighten as the straps started to pull against your shoulders. “And on top of all that, you think it’s fair to do this to me?” He pushed the material up even further, dangerously close to exposing your chest entirely, your breath stuttering as you bit into your lip as your hips began to slowly roll against each other.

You could feel your blood pump faster as you squeezed his hand in yours, Namjoon answering the action in kind. You had yet to feel his lips on yours and it was driving you crazy, a small whine slipping past your lips as he moved his attention back to your neck. 

“Joon…” Your voice was barely above a whisper but seemed to cut through the silence of the empty corridor, your desperation clear in your tone. You loved that no matter how much power you seemed to be able to wield in the build-up, you always ended up completely at the mercy of Namjoon. He let you play with him, let you have your fun, but he was always the one to take control in the end. He decided when to give you what you wanted from him, and you wouldn’t get it a second sooner. And he was proving that now.

“It’s bad enough that you flirt with the others to make me jealous,” he continued to murmur against your neck. “I even told them to ignore you tonight to give you a taste of your own medicine, but it seems like you can’t cope with not being the center of attention. Isn’t that right, baby?” The hand that was holding yours slipped from your grasp to instead hold you by your wrist, the edge of authority hardening his voice making your knees weak. “Seems like I need to remind you who you belong to,” he mused, teeth grazing the column of your neck before planting a kiss just above your collarbone. A sigh escaped you as you shuddered, your body held between the wall and Namjoon’s chest. 

“Please.”

His eyes bore into yours, that dark playfulness that you craved glinting under the fluorescent lights. Your eyes drifted shut as Namjoon came even closer, your bodies touching in as many places as he could manage without having you wrapped around him. In the same second that you finally felt Namjoon’s lips brush against yours, their softness drawing a whimper from your mouth, a cacophony of voices, laughter and footsteps echoed down the corridor. 

Your eyes shot open, panicked, but Namjoon simply grinned, seemingly in no rush to protect your modesty as the voices slowly came closer. 

“Joon.” Your voice was firm, eyes rapidly going between his as your breath grew rapid from panic rather than arousal. 

“I can’t wait to get you home.” He stated simply and then, with a blink, the glint in his eyes disappeared and he stood back, his hands releasing your wrist and smoothing your shirt down against your tummy once more. He placed a kiss to your forehead just as the band came round the corner, the innocent act giving you mental whiplash. 

“Okay, guys, c’mon, keep it in your pants in public, please,” Hobi laughed as he walked towards you both, your back still up against the wall as Namjoon tucked your hair behind your ear with a chuckle. 

“Am I not allowed to talk to my girlfriend in private without being accused of being a pervert?” he joked, his other hand tucked in his pocket to try and subtly try and adjust himself in his jeans. 

“You two never ‘just talk’ in private,” Yoongi drawled without looking up from his phone as he made his way towards the parking garage, laughter rippling through the rest of the group behind him. You felt your cheeks flush, but not out of embarrassment; you were still catching your breath, the close call with being caught exciting you more than it ever had before. 

You and Namjoon were left behind the band, a few members of staff waiting behind you to make sure you both made it to the car waiting for you safely. Namjoon took your hand gently this time, smiling down at you and tugging you to fall into step beside him before draping his arm across your shoulders, leaning down to whisper in your ear.

“Let’s get you home.”

[strikearose]

It’s all about connections (SasuNaru) (Part 1)

Finally, here’s the very first part of the !YoutubeSasuNaru story - the idea’s quite silly but I had fun writing it so hope you guys enjoy it! (English is not my first language so please don’t be too much of a grammar nazi Summary : Sasuke has had that massive crush on a youtuber for years when Rasengan randomly starts going to his class. You can also read it on ff.net and ao3.  Part 1 (here), Part 2 (clic), Part 3 (clic), Part 4 (clic)

Poc.

The ball of paper missed its trajectory and crashed into the corner of the wall, barely half an inch away from the waste basket that originally intended. The student didn’t mind, though - he was far too busy trying to finish his economics presentation that was due for the next day.

Despite the fact that many of his classmates insisted on seeing him as a relentless hardworking student, Sasuke Uchiha was very much like any other normal twenty-one year old boy : a procrastinator at heart. So it was precisely on the night before the big day that he finally decided to finish it, even though he had had all of his vacation time to do so. Well - it would be a lie to say that it would take a superhuman effort to accomplish that task, but unfortunately the young man had another flaw: he was a perfectionist.

Even if he had to pull an all-nighter or give nothing back at all, Sasuke had always refused to be average -  because before (and in addition of) setting high standards for others, he would always set himself very high standards.

The black-haired man frowned as he read what he had written on the previous line and, impulsively, he ended up tearing up the entire page of his notebook and threw it on the floor.

However, the paper pellet did not make a Poc - as he had, this time, managed to reach the bin, it made a Ting instead : he had just received a notification.

His mind being elsewhere, the student rummaged around on his desk, looking for his phone. It wasn’t a text message, but a Youtube alert. One of his Subscriptions had just uploaded a new video. Sasuke took a quick look at the time (1:03 am) and let a loud sight when he saw how long the video was: fifty-seven minutes.

Of course, it has to be Rasengan.

He was the only one there who could publish a barely edited gaming review at such odd hours. One hour of uncut video was too much, even if it was to discuss the New Zelda. ‘That moron clearly don’t understand how the logistics of youtube work,’ the young man thought while stretching his legs under the table in order to get into a more comfortable position.

Because even though Sasuke might found the Youtuber’s marketing choices quite stupid and questionable - he was still his favorite. The only one he was following so.. assiduously.

And if he was really going to pull an all-nighter in order to finish his presentation on time, he might as well relax a little on the go

**

The coffee machine finally agreed (even though it sure had taken its’ sweet time) to give him his change money, but it still wasn’t not enough to lift Sasuke’s spirit. He really had spent his entire night working on the presentation. Well - he even had to give up his usual fifteen minutes of hot morning shower for just three minutes of shampoo-rinse-toothbrush altogether to make sure that everything was perfect.

But at last - there he was ! His eyelids stung horribly and he could feel the dark circles hollowing out his eyes, but everything was finally ready to make sure he would receive his usual congratulations for the seriousness and thoroughness of his work.

An amused grin escaped his lips when he looked into the face of Kiba Inuzuka, one of his classmates - a gamer and procrastinator emeritus who unfortunately didn’t have enough wits to back it up. With some luck, they would be called in alphabetical order for once and it would save Inuzuka the embarrassment of going Sasuke’s presentation.

Or maybe not.

Sasuke left the cafeteria just as the legendary lack of luck of the dog-loving student seemed to catch up with him:

« FOR FUCK’S SAKE NARUTO DON’T PUT YOUR DR PEPPER ON TOP OF MY COMPUTER ! »

**

« Hey Sasuke, did you also get Ichiraku’s mail about the internship? »

Shikamaru Nara calmly called out the black-haired young man as he sat down.

« Yes, I got it. And my documents have been signed and validated by the office earlier today.

- Cool, mine too, Shikamaru sighed. ‘t'was about time. »

He nodded his head knowingly: all the steps of searching, finding and getting the official documents concerning the internship signed were an unspeakable mess. Luckily, though, his partner this time was not a nutcase of Zaku Abumi’s caliber.

The Nara was placidly calm (Sasuke wouldn’t dream of seeing him threatening the Dean of blowing up the uni if he were to fail the exams) and quite intelligent: in short, he was one of his peers. And their little discussions were not too unpleasant.

« Well, we’ll talk later about carpooling?

- Yeah. And also dividing the task.

- Yeah, no problems, Shikamaru sighed as he turned away - tired in advance of the amount of work ahead. Ah, good luck with your presentation by the way. »

Pfft.

He didn’t even bother to answer.

Wishing him luck ? Sasuke gladly left ‘good luck’ to losers such as Inuzuka or Sarutobi who were very likely to be sending prayers at that very moment to every heavenly spirit existing, Jashin included, to have the course delayed.

Good luck ?

Sasuke definitely didn’t need it.

He was brilliant, meticulous and confident: talking in front of sixty or more people didn’t bother him at all - unlike the younger Hyuuga who getting more and more on the verge of fainting as she practiced her speech. More than that, it was even something he enjoyed. Knowing every aspect of a subject - mastering it ; defending it tooth and nail, tearing apart every remark made by his opponents until they surrender..

Some malicious people would say that Sasuke liked to boast on stage, that he was too arrogant. That he was far too pleased to thwart the traps set by his teachers, to answer the questions of his classmates with a smirk. A smirk just visible enough to make them understand how foolish he thought their interventions were. Or worse, that he had precisely expected for a moron to make that remark, thus allowing him to assert his assistance with a dutifully prepared response.

Saying that Sasuke Uchiha sometimes behaved like a complete asshole would be quite slanderous - indeed.

Because, no he did not.

He was brilliant, meticulous, confident… and humble on top of that.

« Hurry up, Kiba, I think it’s already started!

- You should have eat your lunch quicker ! »

The two latecomers were forced to take the front row seats of the auditorium while Sasuke finished to prepare. The slide show was on, the cable was connected - he was simply waiting for Mr. Hatake’s approval to start.

**

« And to finish with and anticipate some questions you may have, I’d like to add that while the data I used regarding market flows may be from two thousand and four, other studies that I have provided in the appendix tend to show that all exchanges concerning telephony have been profitable thanks to the takeover of the company by its competitor three years ago. »

Click.

He couldn’t have done better.

The teacher scribbled an umpteenth inscription on his rating form with a discreet approving wink and Uchiha smiled smugly.

Perfect - everything had gone on smoothly.

His onyx eyes wandered around the room: not surprisingly, half the auditorium hadn’t listen a word to what he had said, too focused on themselves (and the realization of their own projects).

Pfft.

The other half, however, completed his little moment of glory: some of them shook the head in bitterness, disappointed in what they had done in comparison, others gave him an admiring look. In the distance, Shikamaru nodded his head slowly while the Egyptian fury sited beside him, more belligerent, pretended to stifle a yawn.

But Sasuke quickly looked away, his mouth pinched, as he saw the thumb up that Lee Rock had kindly addressed to his attention. Lee was overall quite a nice fellow - Sasuke himself had to recognize it, - but no.

Just no.

« Well, if no one has any question, because I don’t have one either, let’s move on to the next presentation, Kakashi Hatake thought for a moment as he watched over the assembly. Inuzuka, you, in the front row? Well, that’s great, now’s your turn. »

Sasuke, quite disdainfully elated, was about to come down from the stage when a voice stopped him dead in his tracks:

« Oops, you’re in deep shit, Kiba! »

That particular tone was familiar to him.

Strangely familiar.

« Heyyyyy everybody! I know, I know, sorry! I promised to upload more often… But sometimes I just completely forget to turn the cam on. Or to remove the lens cover ahah! Anyway, today…- »

…

Come to think of it, Sasuke knows that he should have, at least, tried to make it look like it wasn’t that big of a deal. He should have try to tighten his jaw, clench his teeth or even hold his breath until he could return to his seat but of course - he didn’t.

That damn brain of his really had to go on mental-break down as he looked over to the lips from which those sweet, sweet words had just escaped.

He literally froze on the spot.

HOLY FREAKING FUCKING FUCK.

Why the hell did Rasengan have to show up in his class on the very-day he looked like utter shit?!

**

Sasuke let himself fell on a chair of the uni library. The research room, fortunately, was still quite empty - this haven of peace was the only place where, he was ready to stake his life on it, this stupid Inuzuka had not and would never set foot in.

Yes - Sasuke Uchiha had simply run away : with clenched fists, he had spent the forty-two minutes separating him from the end of the class to scrutinize meticulously the auditorium clock’s second hand. He had tried everything: scrolling down his twitter feed, pretending to be interested in what was happening downstairs, humming softly a bit of that stupid Latin-sounding song that his brother Itachi kept playing in the car, but nothing helped. That same frightening moment was played again and again in his mind:

Meeting certain cerulean eyes had literally made him go speechless. If he had for a long time now suspected the blond guy of drowning his instagram pictures with saturated filters, he was now forced to admit that this guy had the bluest eyes he had ever seen.

And by blue, Sasuke wasn’t talking about that pale, bland cyan that Ino Yamanaka, a high school ‘friend’ he often saw in the cafeteria, boasted about - no, Rasengan’s pupils were of a deep, bright, intense blue. It wasn’t a grey that stretched to be too light or green; his eyes were neither grayish nor turquoise: they were blue. Irrevocably blue.

Wonderfully blue.

The more he thought about it, the less Uchiha was willing to accept it: there was no way a guy who spent at least twelve hours a day on screens could have such marvelous eyes. He probably wore contact lenses, yeah, there was no other explanation.

All Sasuke could remember was meeting that seing that blue and then - nothing. His foot had stayed up in the air, his breathing hastened and he had stood there like an idiot - staring at the video maker who hadn’t pay the slightest attention to him, his mouth wide open.

How long had he been frozen there, like a fucking fangirl oozing hormones and sebum?

…

Thank’s God - an unfortunate accident had come to his rescue : Kiba Inuzuka and his legendary clumsiness who, probably not expecting Sasuke to suddenly freeze on the spot, had stumbled over the stairs.

PAF.

He had cracked his forehead open and the fit of hilarity (well - they didn’t need much at eight o'clock in the morning) in the auditorium had instantly brought Sasuke out of his enamored trance. He had quickly taken his attention away from the blond young man hurried back to his place, his heart beating fast.

Shit - what the hell was Rasengan doing in his college?

And why did he have do pull an all-nighter on the day before?

Sasuke looked around him and hesitated for a moment before putting his phone in selfie mode in order to inspect the extent of the damages.

Ouch.

He had rarely looked so bad. His eyes were red because of the entire night spent on a computer screen, his skin was tugging at him and - what the hell was that old scale on the edge of his eyelid ? But despair truly overcame him as he looked at the state of his hair - thank God it was still pretty clean, but there was absolutely no volume left. Nasty, long (too long) strands of hair were stuck to his temples and fell back a little on his forehead.

Shit - it was as if he was unpleasantly reviving his teenage years when - even though he still adamantly claimed to that day he had never turned emo, he had tried numerous dubious kind of hairstyles.

The Uchiha turned pale when it really came down to him : this was indeed the very first impression he ever had make on Rasengan.

**

When Sasuke set foot on campus the next day, curious glances were exchanged. While his complexion was as fresh and glowing as ever (he had gulped down five liters of water the night before), his hair was…-

Well - he rather gave the impression that he had swallowed five litres of gel. That observation made the usually impassive Shikamaru raised an eyebrow - for a moment he thought that he too had returned to his high school years. The Nara genius finally shrugged it off, plunged back into his textbook - well everyone had bad hair day every now and then.

**

Fourth day of the week - Sasuke grumbled as he put his computer back on his bag.

Of course, Rasengan had to disappear completely off the face of the earth as soon as he had decided to rock his best outfits to go to class.

It was as if Rasengan’s divine appearance had to be provoked by Sasuke losing some of his splendor.

…

The next day, Sasuke had the impudence of wearing a T-shirt… with a hole on it (an old accident involving a hook and his brother-in-law, a fisherman), but still - nothing happened.

There was not the slightest sign of the handsome blond with eyes too blue to be true. In a bad mood, Uchiha decided after lunch to put the Ralph Lauren sweater, which he’d slipped into his bag in the morning just in case, in top of his crappy shirt.

The following Monday came quickly but - no, Sasuke wasn’t expecting anything.

His decision to resume his daily abdominal sessions hadn’t been motivated by any hope of meeting a certain blond again.

He was doing it for himself - and for himself alone.

Although it was true that he didn’t even need it.

The coffee machine forgot inadvertently to give him a stirrer - Sasuke sighed. Great, the day was starting out just fine : how the hell was he supposed to retrieve the sugar that had fallen to the bottom of the cup and drink his coffee now?

« Ahah, I can’t believe it, I didn’t even finish my presentation and Hatake gave me the passmark ! »

Sasuke’s ears tensed imperceptibly as he recognized the voice of the injured-Inuzuka who had just entered the cafeteria.

« He felt sorry you had a concussion Kiba, Shikamaru was there too.

- Whatever, man ! I’m definitely going to pass that semester ! We got to go celebrate. »

Celebrate?

Like in a bar or club where Rasengan might also go to ?

Sasuke suddenly found his cup too heavy to carry around and chose to sit down at the table next to the one the two friends had chosen, any worry of lost-stirrer long forgotten.

« Mhhh. Shikamaru sighed and rummaged through his wallet, seeking enough change to buy himself a hot drink. The delicious scent of Sasuke’s coffee was tempting him. You know what I think about your improvised parties.

- Pfff, anyway, you hardly go out anymore now than you got hitched.

- It's not like that, Shikamaru sighed again. Tem and I simply go to different places. »

Sasuke rolled his eyes out, bored. He wasn’t there to hear about other people’s marital relationships: why didn’t they discuss Rasengan’s appearance AND disappearance instead?

The black-haired man had spend the weekend trying to figure something out, but nothing helped. Not a new video on Youtube (well, there was nothing that strange about that, Rasengan’s upload schedule had always been rather dubious), not a single clue on twitter or insta.

Nothing.

« …- never thought you’d actually manage to hook up with her. By the way…-, Kiba’s sentence was left hanging in the air. Oh, here he is. It’s about time! »

Sasuke’s pulse suddenly accelerated. Damn it.

He hadn’t expected Rasengan to pop up out of the blue, though.

Wasn’t his presence so close to his group of friends too suspicious?

Was he going to get busted that easily ?

He needed a pretext - quickly.

« Hey Shino. You’re here just in time, let’s go! »

Eyes glued to the poster for dark-metal band, Uchiha struggled to conceal his disappointment. 

Shino Aburame - of course.

Always where he wasn’t expected.

Jaw clenched, Sasuke pretended to take a closer look at the tour dates on the wall while the three companions got up to go to class. The disappointed student was about to do the same when a voice called out to him:

« I didn’t know you liked this kind of music, Sasuke.

- Uh… yeah.

- We’re performing next month at the bar around the corner, Shino let out a rare smile as he reached into his pocket to hand him something. Here, I’ve got plenty more.

- … Thanks ? »

Uchiha arched an eyebrow as he received a Radioactive Worms sticker.

…

Well.

It took all sorts to make a world.

**

Wednesday, nine o'clock - Sasuke sighed as he realized that his computer was already out of battery. He pulled the charger out of its’ case before giving a nasty glance to a student who was cackling a little too loudly a few rows away.

Inuzuka.

Again.

He was getting on his nerves more and more.

For how long has he been getting along like pigs in a blanket with Rasengan? And was he, as Sasuke strongly suspected, responsible of his mysterious disappearance?

It was all so damn confusing.

« Um, yeah? »

The microphone sizzled and Sasuke turned his attention back ont he lecturer who he had almost forgotten.

When he saw who standing next to him, he almost fainted.

Rasengan.

[ladyhistorypod]

Episode 8: I’m Holding out for a She-ro

Sources:

Ida Lewis

Thought Co

Atlas Obscura

Smithsonian Learning Lab

Archive.org

Traditional Music

Further Listening: “The Memory Palace”,  “The Eyes of Ida Lewis” by Reg Meuross

Selena Quintanilla-Pérez

Smithsonian Insider

National Portrait Gallery

PBS: Latin Museum USA

CNN

Biography(dot)com

20/20

National Museum of American History

Sábado Gigante

Interview

Further Reading: To Selena, With Love

Rose Valland

Rape of Europa (documentary)

Monuments Men Foundation

The Collector

WideWalls

Statue “of” Rose Valland (image)

Attributions: Airplane Seatbelt Beep, Sailor Song, Spanishy Guitar Thing (that’s the actual name of the file), French Horn Sounds, Trio for Piano Violin and Viola

Click below for a transcript of today’s episode!

Alana: We were talking and I was giving Lexi like things that she could cut from episode six and I was like you can cut just like most of me talking and let someone else… give them, give everyone a break from my voice. And then Lexi was like you're our fearless leader though and I was like no. I'm scared of everything and I just love listening to myself talk, that's what the deal is here, that's what's happening.

Lexi: The fear doesn't come across. So.

Alana: Oh that's good. I wasn’t on TikTok because I don't go on TikTok because I don't have a TikTok because I don't get it. But I follow an account on Twitter that just posts all of Hank Green’s TikToks. Apparently there's like some dance challenge, I bet, or something, I’m making an assumption, where you like put on your shoes or something, and I don’t know. I don’t know. But he was like leaning over doing something with his shoes and then he threw his shoe at the phone and yelled “do your homework” which I thought was very funny.

Haley: Are you gonna talk about Hank Green every episode?

Alana: Yes.

(Haley laughing)

Alana: I wish he was my dad!

[INTRO MUSIC]

Alana: Hello and welcome to Lady History: the good, the bad, and the ugly ladies you missed in history class. It's time for my favorite Zoom meeting. Up in the top left corner is Lexi. Lexi, what's your superpower?

Lexi: My superpower is writing essays the night before they're due, not double checking them, submitting them, and then having the professor say wow you're a great writer.

Alana: And down at the bottom is Haley. Haley, what would your superhero name be and why is it Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots?

Haley: Ugh. I really, I had my super power all ready to go and you switched it up on me. Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots was something off of a whim. That was like a gut visceral reaction to my super power name. I guess I'll stick– I don't know why it's that long. I have a really long last name. I love short and sweet names. I hate that it’s Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots.

Alana: I need to– we need to like keep bringing it up so that we can have Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots merch someday.

Lexi: Please if you'd like to contact Haley write to our podcast.

Alana: We cannot stress this enough. Even if you don't have anything to say, send us a DM and just be like this is for Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots

Haley: This is why I can't speak freely and… I don't know. I can't have nice things because then I say crap like that.

Alana: And I'm Alana and I watch blockbuster superhero movies the way they were meant to be seen; on the tiny airplane screen on the back of the seat in front of me. Or at least I used to.

Haley: Alright. I have a question for you all. What is the definition of a she-ro?

Lexi: A hero who uses she/her pronouns?

Alana: I love that. I think I'm gonna second that. Yeah. I'm also gonna say like people who were overlooked. I know that's like our whole podcast is like people who were overlooked but… That's– that's how I feel.

Lexi: I'm holding out for She-ro.

Alana: Holding out for She-ro. Til… how does the song go I don’t even know.

Lexi: Til the end of the night.

Alana: Can I tell you the first time I heard that song?

Lexi: She’s gotta be strong and she’s gotta be tough.

Alana: The first time I heard that song.

Lexi (high-pitched): She’s gotta be fresh from the fight.

Alana: For reals.

Lexi (somehow even higher-pitched): I’m holding out for a she-ro!

Alana: For reals the first time I heard that song? Shrek 2. Dead serious.

Haley: Yeah. I think that’s… I think that’s the same for me too.

Lexi: No the first time you heard “Holding out for a She-ro” was right now when I wrote it. You may have heard a different song.

Alana: The original song. The original song.

Lexi: This is parody, therefore it's protected under parody law.

Haley: She-ro on the oracle that is Urban Dictionary has like two top definitions in their like first thing that comes up. The first one is a woman or man who supports women's rights and respects women's issues. The second is female hero, basically saying he as in hero and it's like Greek and Old English rooted words going into all that, we're not here for,  it's not fun. The fun part is just how someone put in she-ro as an obnoxious word built off the word hero but in the same breath is like a man or woman who fights women's issues and then truly just like a whole mix of how this word’s obnoxious.

Lexi: Thoughts; I hate the term women's issues.

Alana: Me too.

Lexi: That makes me sick to my stomach.

Haley: Yeah I don't like it either.

Lexi: Second, let’s edit Urban Dictionary. My definition was better because I don't like either of those definitions.

Alana: Me neither.

Haley: There are like a whole host of definitions and that was me dwindling it down.

Lexi: Like the fact that it says female hero like that makes me upset because someone can be female and not use she as the pronouns that frustrates me.

Haley: Exactly.

Lexi: And then also I don't like the term women's issues that just doesn't sit well with me. You know, I don't like that.

Haley: Also I didn't think of like hero as like he I always saw it as H. E. R. so like her.

Alana: So that's why you said her-o in the original spreadsheet.

Haley: I also had a few drinks in me but that's neither here nor there.

Lexi: Also the feminine form of hero is heroine but then that sounds like drugs.

Haley: Yeah that's true, that's also true. Honestly I’d rather be a drug than like a woman. If it– women’s rights or like heroin’s rights

Lexi, laughing: In 2020 America, if you were a drug that was being sold by a pharmaceutical company, you would have more rights than a woman.

(Haley laughing)

Alana: Lexi leave that in.

Lexi: Oh hell yeah I will.

Alana, laughing: Oh god.

(Haley and Alana laughing)

Lexi: So our first she-ro today is Idawalley Zoradia Lewis who was born on February 25, 1842, and in 1854 her family moved to a little island called Lime Rock. It was off the coast of Newport, Rhode Island. The family made the move when her father became keeper of the lighthouse there, and living on a rock meant her and her three younger siblings needed to row a boat back and forth to school on the mainland each day, so Ida became a strong rower. She also learned to swim against really rough waves and so she was just all around really good in the water. In 1858, sixteen year old Ida rescued four young men. The group had been sailing when a strong wave capsized their boat near Lime Rock and Ida, by this time a well-practiced rower, rowed out to where the boys were struggling to tread water. She hauled all four of them aboard and brought them to shore. The event received very little publicity even though this sixteen year old girl saved four people. When Ida was in her teens, her father's health began to decline and he became wheelchair-bound, so Ida had to learn the skills needed to keep the lighthouse running so that her family can continue to run the lighthouse and receive an income. In 1869, a pair of soldiers were on a boat near Lime Rock during a snowstorm and the snowstorm turned their ship over. Ida, who was actually ill at the time, didn't even stop to put on her coat and went out to rescue the soldiers with the assistance of her younger brother. In recognition of her service at this time, President Ulysses S. Grant awarded her the Congressional Medal of Honor. Grant and his vice president visited Ida’s lighthouse to congratulate her and the story about the rescue was published in the New York Tribune. In 1872, Ida’s father unfortunately passed away and her mother briefly became the lighthouse keeper. In 1870, Ida became the lighthouse keeper because her mother was beginning to be sick. At one point, she was the highest paid lighthouse keeper in America. Her mother, who was now at this point very ill, eventually passed away in 1887. There is no written record of the exact number of people Ida saved, but accounts from the time estimate she saved at least eighteen people or possibly as many as thirty-six. Many national magazines acknowledged her for her great heroism and she became a household name in New England. In 1911, Ida is believed to have suffered a stroke. She died shortly after. The city of Newport flew their flags at half mast and thousands of fans came to Lime Rock to bid her farewell. After her death, the lighthouse was renamed Ida Lewis Lighthouse and Lime Rock was renamed Lewis Rock in honor of her 54 years of service. Lewis Rock is now home to the Ida Lewis Yacht Club. Though Ida’s actions and career were considered masculine and caused much debate during her lifetime, she was recognized as a heroine by many young women who admired her. She inspired girls, showing them women could be strong, and save men, something young women at the time likely did not see reflected anywhere else in their lives. And that's what makes her a she-ro.

Alana: I was literally today talking about when I was– when I was like 11 or something we did…  my family did like a sort of driving tour of Cape Cod, Connecticut, and Rhode Island and I was literally talking about that trip with my mom on the phone today because it's Sunday, it's call your mother day. So I was like actually talking about Rhode Island today which is really interesting. Like what a weird coincidence. I didn't know anything about her. That's cool.

Lexi: She is a little-named person. She's not frequently mentioned, but she does appear in some historical books, sometimes. Like there's a book in the Smithsonian Libraries that is called like “Women Heroes of our Great Nation” and it's from like 1890-something, like during her lifetime, and it mentions her. And it has a cute little drawing of her rowing a boat.

Alana: Do you have a link to that in the show notes?

Lexi: I do not have that specific link, but I can give it to you and I will put– we’ll put it in the show notes. That link will be in the show notes. It's not yet but I will put it in there.

Alana: I have to see this drawing.

Haley: So this shero might come as a surprise because you might be like why did she save the day? But hopefully the story I tell will kind of steer you on that path. Selena Quintanilla-Pérez, or the queen of Tejano music, was one of the most iconic singers of the late 20th century and a trailblazer in Tejano music. I know I know the theme is “saved the day” and you're probably thinking why Selena? What did she save? Well I basically wrote half a page of this long winded story on why she saved the day in my middle school Spanish class, but honestly just Google the testimonies on how Selena changed the lives of so many people and you be the judge of this whole story. So let’s crack open this history book on Selena. Born on April 16, 1971 in Lake Jackson, Texas, her family wasn't originally from fame, but before fame she was a singer of her family's band Selena y Los Dinos, that worked weddings, fairs, and other venues along the US-Mexican border. And her father was also a musician back in the day, so not only did the kids get the musical talent from him but they also were trained and mentored by him. And you see a lot of the family influence come out and her music later. So funnily enough she grew up speaking English, not speaking Spanish but her father taught her how to sing in Spanish so she could connect better with the Latin American community. And in the HBO 1997 Selena movie with J. Lo you kind of see like how and why Abraham, her father, picked that. And she did learn to speak Spanish fluently because actually rose to fame she had to kind of be in interviews and a lot of these were Mexican broadcasting news organizations, which they were going to be asking and expecting her to answer in Spanish. So her rise to fame, she had to break so many barriers because of Tejano music, which is a style of music that fuses Mexican, U. S. and European elements together, was heavily male dominated. In 1990, her Ven Conmigo album was the first to Tejano album by a female artist to go gold, and in the following years songs like gonna Como La Flor, Bidi Bidi Bom Bom, Si Una Vez and others quickly made it to the top of charts and are still iconic songs. Even on the radio, a few days ago I listened to this. I was listening to some channel and Como La Flor came on and I was like “I'm doing her this is like a sign” because I really struggled to pick a shero. Through all this fame, she is noted as humble, caring, and overall a lovely girl who truly put her family, friends, and fans above her own happiness sometimes, and people would just comment on how great she was in interviews, just meeting her on the street, and even the HBO and other documentaries, movies, show that she was just a lovely lovely human. To pivot slightly she was most definitely a renaissance woman while continuing her musical career, she started a whole fashion experience. Her style overall was considered to be breaking bounds of toting the line between “sexy rebel” and “Mexican American good girl” and for those who do not know, she is most known for her bustiers, tight pants, and jackets. All these fashion icons were inspirations from her stagewear, which she made available to the public because she made those herself which I thought was pretty cool like all her stagewear is coming from her. Especially when they were just like a touring small band along the border, they would have to get creative and Selena would take charge in what everyone would wear on stage. The Smithsonian's National Museum of American History actually has one of the leather outfits she wore and I couldn't figure out if it was on display or not but they do have that and I believe other Selena artifacts and have done a lot of stuff of Selena which will all be on the show notes. She is also sometimes is referred to as “Mexican Madonna'' which I personally think is garbage for so many reasons because both of those females, women, ladies are their own identities and like her music doesn't sound like Madonna. 

Alana: No. The only way that Selena is the Mexican Madonna, is if Madonna is the White Selena.

Haley: Yeah.

Alana: Like I would accept like either of those because I love flipping that script.

Haley: I saw that quote like “Mexican Madonna” too many times to not put it in and just be like this is a dumpster fire

Lexi: But like I think only similarity is the leather.

Haley: It’s like the leather and the bustiers, and the bustiers she would wear would be like bedazzled bras... so I was thinking like Madonna and the cone boobs. And it’s like, what, we're gonna call Katy Perry like...

Lexi: So many female singers dress like that

Haley: Yeah, so like I wish I was born, I was born right after #1997Baby because I would have totally gotten a leather jacket from Selena. Like when she did her whole public appearance, there are so many interviews of her talking about her clothing, and you see how passionate she is. She broke even more barriers when she became the first Tejano artist to win the Grammy for best Mexican-American album in 1994 and this was at the 36th Grammy Awards. Unfortunately, only a year after her Grammy win at the height of her fame she was murdered. At age 23 she was murdered by the president of her fan club, Yolanda Saldivar in Corpus Christi, Texas, and Yolanda was considered like her close friend, part of the family even though Abraham has been on record saying like he didn't trust her, especially when a lot of like paper trails of money going missing and just fans being like this is not right like I ordered this thing and this came instead or nothing came at all, where he was like “okay, why is Yolanda in our life, how did she come about?” and really Yolanda approached Selena and was like “I’m your number one fan, let me do all this stuff for you.” Once the money laundering and all the other like sketchy stuff was coming to light that's when she killed Selena with a gun. So there's a lot of info about like Yolanda and her head space for this and since she survived and Selena didn't obviously they use Yolanda. Like 20/20 did a whole episode interviewing Yolanda and there's a clip even where she is saying her conscience is clear, she didn't mean to kill Selena, and the murder was a complete accident and like she... I got the sense that she felt worse that she didn't commit suicide versus like murding Selena. Yeah, Alana is giving me that face. It was just such a horrible, horrible scenario. I got the sense that Selena went to confront her or told her dad that she’ll confront Yolanda, starting like “Hey, there’s a lot of sketchy, criminal activity coming out, and you are the president of my fan club, what is going on? I’m talking to you as my friend and I want to work this out with you.” Apparently Yolanda had a gun, was willing, and did use it on Selena. I believe she died either on the way to the hospital or at the hospital. I couldn't get a full confirmation from a reputable source of what happened there. Honestly that whole 20/20 I linked in the show notes it's on YouTube and different parts, someone kindly posted that and it just shows you how sketchy Yolanda was and clearly the interviewers were trying to like kind of be like okay you're kind of a kook we don't have Selena's mark, we want to do a tribute of her overall legacy, we're gonna pick you. And Yolanda is actually up for parole in 2025 which I knew when I saw the movie in middle school, hence she saved my day that day going back to that. Now it just feels so much more real being like in 2020 versus like some random mid 2000s because all our whole like middle school class was obsessed with Yolanda. Honestly most people were for like the wrong reason like they start looking at her Wikipedia's seeing that Yolanda has like a fan club now which is like completely inappropriate. But I kept thinking like yo, why is she on parole and she would be on patrol because she would have served at least thirty years of her sentence so it's like thirty years to life sentence. Honestly, I don't think she's going to get paroled. I never read an indication that she was but you never know.

Alana: The Yolanda fan club kind of goes back to what we were saying in our lady criminals episode. 

Haley: Yes.

Alana: Like these friggin serial killers that have fan clubs and that's so messed up.

Haley: I almost actually paved Yolanda Saldivar as my lady criminal because just whole rap sheet on her and there's just so much on like her publicness, she is still alive, and in the interviews she's like wearing makeup, wearing nice clothing, and I’m like you are painting her as an innocent, sweet lady, she is talking about murder! This is… no. I feel like we wouldn't do that for certain people like people still have sympathy for her, hence she's not wearing like the prison jumpsuit they're not doing in a prison yard. They're like creating this space to paint a picture. So to end on a happy note I've kind of compiled the list on her legacy and Boy Howdy even just in the past few years the list goes on and on. I made like a whole list from when she died and after so like 1995 to 2020 and yes it's a lot of years, but just all the stuff. There's a lot of family drama, court drama, stuff with Yolanda Saldivar and to keep it positive and keep it with stuff that we can use as Lady History and just like us as a community, loving her… Mac cosmetics has created two makeup lines in her honor. The lipstick is chef's kiss gorgeous. It's like her iconic red lipstick. I'm still looking for it. I keep thinking I’ll see it when I go to Mac or Sephora and I should probably just order online. She also has a Hollywood Walk of Fame star which you can go visit. Lastly, we have a ton of documentaries and biopics, notably the movie with J. Lo that is and back on HBO and I believe Netflix is also in the works with creating a series within the near future. The trailer’s out it looks fantastic and in my ever so humble opinion, a lot of these biopics are actually pretty decent. They do show the good, the bad, and the ugly and I could be wrong, you could totally fight me but when I watched the movie when I had HBO, made a list of points I wanted to hit or kind of corroborate because I thought it was interesting when I was watching the movie of like oh the J.Lo movie did like a great job because all that like I could find in like interviews or like the Smithsonian had a bunch of PBS, CNN for a PSA for the sources; lots of visuals this time, so if you're a visual, you like the videos you like the audio for it, rather than the text of all the books definitely check those out.

Alana: That was cool. Definitely not someone I think of as fitting this topic, that was awesome.

Haley: We defined sheroes like anyone who makes an impact 

Alana: Yeah. 

Haley: And honestly I had the whole joke of how I really do want to be in my Spanish middle school class and I didn't know of her existence beforehand. I've listened to some of her music growing up I didn't realize like her whole story and that was Seleh-na, Seleena, however you want to say it, I don't know you can you can fight me on how to pronounce the name but like it was the first time I saw Spanish representation in a Spanish class which is saying a lot. 

Alana: Awesome, That's so cool. I guess it helps when you are telling real stories and not being, or at least trying to tell real stories and not making shit up.

Haley: Yeah, also at least for the cast for J. Lo, I'm thinking off the top of my head weren't like white people playing Hispanic, Latino characters. The Spanish was good. Like we'll see West Side Story and Natalie Wood with brown face on that was not the situation will not be the situation for Netflix.

Lexi: sings * MMMAAARRIIIAAAA *

Haley: I will get so mad if that comes around like that again.

Lexi: Ya know I can play Maria on the French Horn.

Alana: So something that Lexi and Haley know about me and now all of our lovely listeners are going to know about me is I have two favorite things: museums and fucking over Nazis. This story has both. Lexi is giving me a round of applause. We love it. So did you two see “Monuments Men?”

Haley: No I have not.

Alana: Lexi is nodding. Well my lady for today is the inspiration for the character Claire Simone played by Cate Blanchett in the movie “Monuments Men.” She's kind of turned into just a love interest but this is not a movie review podcast this is a history podcast. So. Rose Valland. She was born on November 1, 1898 in a small town in France that I'm not even gonna try to pronounce. It occurred to me that this is why we tend to stick with ladies who are American and British is because so many of these sources were in French and I was like I don't speak French. Sometimes I feel bad about that but other times I'm like I can't read these sources.

Lexi: We should get some listeners to send us translations of ladies from their home countries that we can use. So if you have a lady from your home country or speak a language of a country, translate some sources for a rare lady and send them to us.

Alana: We would love to talk about rare ladies who are like– that's the whole point, like overlooked by history.

Haley: Google Translate does not help. I'm ready for someone to be like use Google Translate because I’ve seen that on so many podcasts.

Alana: Yeah. I have a Google Translate story later in this about how bad it was. Rose earned two separate degrees in art history from the École du Louvre and The Sorbonne. I over-pronounce things in French because you can't be corrected if you're wrong on purpose. She also has two previous degrees from École des Beaux-Arts in Lyon and in Paris which I think translates just like to school for fine arts or school of fine arts. And yet, she takes an unpaid volunteer job at the Jeu de Paume in 1932. It says volunteer, I've been thinking of her as an unpaid intern because that just resonates with me personally. I watched the documentary “Rape of Europa” which is all about this project. I did that while I was a little bit drunk and I looked at my notes afterwards and I have this line here in all caps, holy shit she was unpaid. I was very excited about her being an unpaid intern because unpaid interns can do anything.

Lexi: The amazing thing about that is that for most of museums’ history, once women were allowed in, they weren't allowed to be paid to work.

Alana: That's a whole other issue.

Lexi: When you look at the Smithsonian archives, the number of women that were just there because their husband was there but then actually contributed way more than their husbands but then got paid like eighty bucks as a present one time? Like… crazy. I digress.

Alana: And the Jeu de Paume is an art museum a little bit further from Paris, a little bit lesser known from Paris. It's like… for my DC friends, my DC audience it's like the Louvre is the National Gallery of Art and the Jeu de Paume is the Hirschhorn. So like it's a little bit lesser known but like still really cool. I can't find a good timeline for like her level of promotion and how far she came which… how? This was like less than a hundred years ago, but okay. Eventually she gets a job being a paid attaché and then becomes assistant curator when the curator falls ill. She was in charge of modern art exhibits which is very interesting because a very prominent art school reject has just become Chancellor of Germany and hates modern art and thinks it's degenerate. Oh. This will come into play later. It was Hitler. I just want to be like Hitler was an art school reject who thought modern art– I guess 1930s art was degenerate. I just wanna explain the joke. 

Lexi: That’s my second favorite fact about Hitler.

Alana: What's your first favorite fact?

Lexi: That he only had one testicle.

Alana: That he only had one testicle. Okay. So. In October of 1940, the Nazis commandeered the Jeu de Paume for storing looted art. This was the Eisen– I don’t speak German. I’m gonna get it clean. Einsatzstab Reichsleiter Rosenberg Project. It was the name of the operation that Hitler used for all of the basically art looting that he did. That was like the name of the project; name of the operation. And then the director of the French National Museums says to Rose Valland “stay there. Be a spy.” And she's like “okay” and she works the phones which is an amazing way to like listen in to keep track of movements. But guess what? They're like being all loosey-goosey with their info around her because they're like “oh she's French, we're speaking German, it'll be fine.” Plot twist, she knows German! So she managed to keep a diary of which, like, prominent Jewish collectors owned what and what went where and who took it and where it was going and catalogued all this stuff. She was interrogated for being a spy twice and there is a quote from her– like she wrote a memoir about this, this time in her life and she says “he looked at me straight in the eye and told me I could be shot. I calmly replied that no one here is stupid enough to ignore the risk.” And that is movie dialogue level shit. Like, oh my god. Incredible. But like so, she's interviewed a couple times and she was like “no look I'm a woman I can't be a spy, look at my glasses.” (Alana laughing)

Haley, whispering: I’m a spy.

Lexi: Remember, women can't be money, women can't be spy.

Alana: Women don't be money women don't be spies.

Haley: We all have glasses, so we are all spies.

Alana: We are all spies. Can’t be glasses. She has– there are like all these cute little pictures of her and she was wearing Harry Potter glasses but this was way before Harry Potter and also like Harry Potter's kind of cringe now so I think we need to call Harry Potter glasses Rose Valland glasses. That's my new social movement, that's my new fight.

Lexi: Acceptable. We should start a Twitter campaign.

Alana: Yeah. I should. After the war, she kept working with the museum and she kept working with the Monuments Men. That was like their actual name, that's not just the name of the movie. And she was looking for the stolen art and she was part of the French Commission on Art Recovery. At age 54 she was finally made curator. Women… Women don't be museums, women don't be money, women don't be spies, women don't be museums. She's also given so many awards before she's even made curator. She's like the most decorated woman in France and then she's made curator. And like, that's all she ever wanted, was to be a curator but she has like– she's awarded the Legion of Honor, the Medal of the Résistance, the Officer’s Cross of the Order of Merit of the Federal Republic of Germany, she's made Commander of the Order of Arts and Letters. In 1948 she was given the Presidential Medal of Freedom, but all she wants is to be curator of this museum.

Lexi: I have never felt a story on this show so hard.

Alana: And then , wait, how us is this part? She retired from the museum in 1968, but she went back to being a volunteer for ten years. I've never felt closer to a woman.

Lexi: Incredible. Yeah. I think this is my past life.

Alana: Yeah, right? She published a book called– it's basically like “The Front of Art” like “The Art Front.” It's a pun on a different book called “The Art of the Front.” But so she's just talking about like fighting the war but from the perspective of an art museum, essentially. It became the Hollywood movie “The Train” in the sixties but in her book she's not like a hero or glorifying herself. She's very objective and her fictionalized character in “The Train” has like ten minutes of screentime. She just wants to talk about the deeds, not really herself; she's just like “I was doing my job…” Which is the only way you should be using that phrase in the context of World War II. But James Rorimer, who is fictionalized to James Granger and Matt Damon– Matt Damon's character in “Monuments Men”– in an early draft of his book, he literally says “Rose Valland is the hero of this story.” I just think it's so amazing that she was so prominent in this, and all she's like “okay I just want to go work at my museum now, goodbye” but with a French accent… because she was French.

Lexi: I was gonna attempt it but I'm not going to.

Alana: I’m not gonna do it, I can't do it. There is a statue of– it's sort of, there is a statue that's sort of of her in Lille, France L. I. L. L. E. France. Which is like a little town about 225 kilometers or 140 miles north of Paris. It's pretty close to the Belgian border. The way in which I had to go to the Hebrew language Wikipedia page and translate it to English to find out that's where the statue was… So here's my Google Translate story. In Hebrew, I speak very little Hebrew, shout out to my at-home synagogue who gave me a job teaching Hebrew even though I don't speak it. I love that. But there's a prefix V- which means and. And so when I translated the page into English, the computer translated Rose V-alland to Rose and Allan. So that's why we don't trust the Google Translate. That's why we don't trust the computer translate. We only trust the people. The humans. Because there's like no capitals in Hebrew, so you can't tell what's a name and what's not. This statute does not look like her at all. It's more like a monument to her. It's like a woman, wrapped in a sheet, surrounded by empty frames, and it's kind of weird but it's like a memorial to her. There is ongoing work with the recovery project. There are still paintings that the Nazis looted that haven't been found; it is called the E. R. R. project for. Eizen– Eizenstab or whatever. And they're trying to find the stolen works and it is sponsored by the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum– please give me a job United States Holocaust Memorial Museum– and the Jewish Claims Conference. So it's like her life is not– like her life's work is not complete and we have to finish it. I had a really good time researching this story. Shout out to my dad for the four bucks he gave me so that I could rent “Monuments Men” on Amazon. Yeah. I also have documentaries this week. It's fun that we've like done different kinds of sources.

Lexi: We covered such different she-roes like–

Haley: I love it. 

Lexi: Mine’s like the classical like she literally like pulled someone out of water.

Haley: Yeah.

Lexi: And then Haley's is more like look how many people's lives that she touched and therefore like saved people through music and then Alana’s is about saving art. Which is so cool that we all have different types of heroes. There's no wrong way to be a she-ro.

Haley: That's why I wanted to ask the question.

Alana: What is a she-ro.

Haley: Yeah. I love that.

Lexi: Anyone can be a she-ro.

Alana: Anyone who uses she/her pronouns can be a she-ro. Lexi's doing a fist pump and it's very funny that she has a screenshot from one of our previous Zoom meetings as her Zoom background.

Haley: What would be the non-binary version of hero/she-ro? 

Alana: They-ro.

Haley: Okay. 

Lexi: Yeah, I love that.

Haley: Well, I wanted to say that but then I didn't want to be like– that was in my head, but…  

Alana: They-ro.

Haley: Trying to like pronounce it sounded weird.

Alana: Like my favorite joke that nobody likes, like happy Rosh– or like, Shana Tova to all my Hebrews, shebrews, and theybrews. 

Haley: Yes.

Alana: My favorite joke in the whole world and I made it on Twitter nobody liked it. If you see me on Twitter no you don't.

Lexi: You can find this podcast on Twitter and Instagram at LadyHistoryPod. Our show notes and a transcript of this episode will be on lady history pod dot tumblr dot com. If you like the show, leave us a review or tell your friends, and if you don’t like the show, keep it to yourself.

Alana: Our logo is by Alexia Ibarra you can find her on Twitter and Instagram at LexiBDraws. Our theme music is by me, Garageband, and Amelia Earhart. Lexi is doing the editing. You will not see us, and we will not see you, but you will hear us, next time on Lady History.

[OUTRO MUSIC]

Haley: Next week on Lady History; we're heading to the zoo to monkey around. Get ready for some zoologists, zookeepers, primatologists, you name it. It’s going to be such an animal party.

Alana: I have a confession to make. Every time you say the birthdate of one of your ladies I’m like “Oh, so her star sign is…” 

(Lexi laughing)

Alana: Like, Haley was like “she was born on April 16th” and in my head I'm like “so she's an Aries…”

Haley: I think of the same thing. I like–

Alana: It's just like where I am. I always think that like… every time I write down a birthday I'm like “oh maybe this time I'll be like oh that makes her a Scorpio. Like, Rose Valland, Scorpio.

[serendair]

Yagami residence

The other day I found myself needing some information on the arrangements of Taichi’s home for a project I’m working on. Obviously I could have just made up arrangements myself because for my cause it wouldn’t even matter that much but it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t try for canon compliance. I figured maybe someone else was thinking the same before me so I did some research and actually found some takes on this topic.

Taichi’s and Hikari’s bedroom arrangements by @taikaris​

Yagami residence “Adventure” edition by @analyzingadventure

Yagami residence “Our War Game” edition by @analyzingadventure

(I didn’t find much more but if you know of anything please let me know, I’m really curious about this topic.)

Seeing these takes on the living arrangements already reveal a lot inconsitencies within the show and being the obsessed-by-accuracy person that I am I couldn’t help but think “I just make a blue print. How hard can this be?” (Little did I know!) 

I ended up taking 153 screenshots throughout Adventure, Adventure 02, tri., and Our War Game, sorted them by which direction they’re facing, and studied the one plan of the main room we are given thanks to tri. thoroughly. This will be lengthy but if you want to join me on the way to my version of the floor plan keep reading under the cut. If you’re bored already just click and scroll to the very end where you’ll find the result of this exquisite waste of time.

Inconsistencies

First things first I have to stress it again that we’re facing a lot of inconsistencies throughout the show. 

Some are minor and - when constructing a floor plan - not important to take into account such as continuously colour changing furniture, decoration, doors, and walls. Or a fridge that opens in different directions. Let’s file this under “creative freedom” of the producers and artists giving us the chance to obsess over something like this in the first place!

(example - colour changing door that also opens to the left and the right: top left - Adventure episode 21; top right - Adventure episode 32; bottom left Adventure 02 episode 45; bottom right - tri. Reunion)

Others are on a medium level important like the front door that tends to open in different directions, the constant rearrangement of furniture within the apartment (especially Taichi’s and Hikari’s room), or the direction the apartment itself is facing documented by the views we get outside the main entrance or from the balcony. The ferris wheel for example just randomly appears on the other side of the house or not be in sight at all. Keeping in mind this being for a floor plan it doesn’t matter really but the tiny voice in my head is not happy about it. 

(examples alignment of apartment/building: top to bottom - Adventure episode 21, OWG, tri - Confession/Reunion; left side - view out of the main entrance; right side - view out of the living room)

Then there are the ones that are major problematic as they affect the layout of the place heavily. To name only a few there are the randomly appearing and disappearing doors to rooms of which one can not exsist by physical law as it would lead through the wall right into the kitchen cabinets. A balcony that changes length indicating that there either is another room in the apartment or the wall to the next door neighbours. A single shot into the bathroom that collides heavily with the floor plan given to us in the book “Digimon Adventure tri. Design Works”. The scenes where we are shown the apartment is at the end of the corridor but when we enter the place walk straight and take the second door to the right to enter Taichi’s (and Hikari’s) room we are given scenes where their bedroom is at the corner of the building as well (see third and fourth picture below). The list to these is long and I will adress the relevant ones as I lead through the whys and wherefores of my take on the blue print of the Yagami residence. For now let’s see what we know for sure and go from there.

Given facts - outside

The Yagami family lives in this housing complex in Odaiba Tokyo (source OWG)...

...in apartment number 1306 (source OWG)...

...which happens to be on the second to last floor (source Adventure episode 33)...

...and also at the end of the corridor (source Adventure episode 21 and 32)

That we are at the end of the corridor will be particularly important when we get to the layout of the apartment and the location of the individual rooms. 

Given facts - inside

As stated before I took plenty of screenshots that give great insight on the arrangements of the Yagami residence. Also stated before though there is plenty of important inconsistencies. Thanks to the “Digimon Adventure tri. Design Works” we get to see an actual floor plan of the main rooms of the apartment. 

What we see here is what I learned a so called LDK which stands for livingroom dining room kitchen. Usually this abbreviation is preceded by a number indicating how many bedrooms there are in addition. You can find this in the side notes of the plan as well.

In the same book we are given a one-point perspective line drawing of Taichi’s bedroom.

This combined with this screenshot (source: tri. - Confession)...

...makes an excellent base to start a blue print for the entire apartment. Now this is where the fun begins. Time to analyze this plan and compare all the evidence captured in screenshots to it to find consistencies and rule out things by educated guessing. Let’s get to work, shall we?

Analyzing the plan

The next step after researching, screenshoting and sorting things was to analyze the floor plan from the “Design Works” book. I reconstructed the (not so quite accurate) one-point-perspective of this bird’s eye view to a flat plan. By doing so it was clear pretty early that even though we have a constructed plan it still is inconsistent in itself looking from an architectural point.

Walls that should have the same thickness to them are slightly off. (Talking inside walls here that obviously are different from those framing the building. I know this seems like nitpicking but there are norms in architecture that should not be ignored completely!) I ended up following a middle ground path adjusting the slightly off indoor walls but keeping the outdoor frame due to lack of better knowing. (Again, we’re talking about 0,x mm based on the picture above. It’s probably not worth mentioning. I’m sorry.) “But the wall separating the kitchen from the dining area is wider!” you might now say. Well, yes - but keep in mind there is a counter like surface on top of it making it broader to place items on top. (Please see reference pictures.)

The seven doors have different widths with should have the same. (Again, lack of norms and standardization. I’m a sucker for precision! Please bear with me.) I decided to adjust them to one and the same size which so happened to be the one of the doors leading to the mysteriously appearing and disappearing rooms opposite to Taichi’s bedroom. The reason why I chose this one and not another is simple: those two had the same width while all the others were different. The majority won here lol.

The furniture themselves aren’t perfect in proportion either but fiddling around with standardized sizes I found on a website helping (mostly foreigners) to furnish their apartment in Tokyo just turned the idea into one huge mess. For the sake of my sanity I decided to keep things as they’re given in the floor plan matching real furniture proportions or not may care about who want.

This left me with an outcome you would probably say “Yea, well... duh!” (You’re kinda right. I had to go all the way for this though. I can’t help myself lol)

Comparing the plan

Now that the first part of the blue print was done it was time to compare it to what we’re given throughout the show. In other words time to rule out those parts of the inconsistencies that just don’t add up in the overall picture. 

Comparing doors

Besides the change of colours probably the most talked about issue when it comes to this apartment. The amount and placement of them vary greatly throughout movies and series so here’s a side by side comparison and reasoning why I ruled certain things out.

First off the 4 or 2 doors down the hallway. In some episodes, namely 31, 32 and 34, we are confronted with a much longer hallway leading to the main entrance of the apartment containing 4 instead of 2 doors. 

(examples 4 doors: top - Adventure episode 31; bottom left - Adventure episode 32; bottom right - Adventure episode 34)

In any other episode of Adventure, of 02, tri., or OWG these additional doors do not show up. (I was hoping I could say this is because it was always the same director or screen writer but that’s not the case so I don’t have a valid explanation for you.)

(examples 2 doors: top - OWG; second row left - Adventure episode 21; second row right - Adventure 02; third row - tri. Determination; bottom left - tri. Confession; bottom right - tri. Coexistence)

For a while I considered the one glimpse we get into the toilet in Adventure episode 21 that led me to the thought the third door might be leading to a separated bathroom but since you can see the shower/bathtub in the background of it I wasn’t so sure (I’ll come back to this later when discussing the bathroom.)

The reason why I ended up not taking the two doors left and right next to the main entrance into consideration when working out the floor plan was mostly the kitchen window. In many of the screenshots (and many more occassions throughout the show) we see a window facing the same direction as the main entrance. When looking at the entrance from outside (see above) we find the same window design making it obvious (to me) that this is the kitchen window. If we assume now that there’s another room behind the door to the right in the upper example between entrance and kitchen then the window in the kitchen would make no sense at all as it would face directly into that room. In other footage of the show the hallway is also much shorter not giving enough space for another room which aligns with the window theory. This kind of rules out the door across the hallway as it is highly unlikely that an apartment complex has such a weirdly angled floor layout. All this given plus the floor plan we are provided with in the “Design Works” makes it save to say there are just two doors down this hallway instead of four.

Secondly we have the ominous doors on the other side of the living room opposite to Taichi’s bedroom that tend to vanish from time to time.

(examples: top left - Adventure episode 21; top right - Adventure episode 32; bottom left - tri. - Confession; bottom right - tri - Coexistence)

What we know is where the LDK, the bathroom and Taichi’s room are as they are consistent throughout the whole show. According to just Adventure and 02 those are the only rooms the apartment offers which is not just weird because one might wonder where do the parents sleep but also because we see Hikari having a room of her own in 02. Where did this magically come from? This is where OWG and tri. come to the rescue. In these movies the apartment gets two (actually three, one connecting the two “new” rooms) more doors leading to more rooms. While we never get a look behind those doors in tri. it is one of the main stages for OWG providing us with plenty of information.

Here we see that this room is connected not only to the living room but also to the room we never get to look inside - ever. Also this room is attached to the long balcony that goes all the way past the living room to the end of Taichi’s room. Maybe not worth mentioning at first glance but remember what I said about room orientation in relation to the end of the building? If the building ends where we get to see it ending in any of the outside-the-main-door shots then this room is the one at the end of the building.If Taichi’s room is the one at the end of the building according to the outside-the-balcony shots then this room is sharing one wall with the next door neighbours. This will be interesting when we get to Hikari’s room, so keep it in mind.

Also the middle shot supports the small sketch oft these two rooms in the floor plan of “Design Works” where you can see the array of walls being angled so the door to the unseen room is a bit offset.

Putting these things together we’re getting this: 

How wide these rooms are we don’t know. Neither do we know how they’re funished. I’ll get to this at a later point. It is save to say though that for the sake of the parents and Hikari these rooms do exist and provide a privacy space for each of them. Therefore I do add them to my version of the floor plan. Before we get back to the interior of these rooms let’s finish comparing the LDK and set up Taichi’s room as the furniture dimensions of his room contributed immensely to what my final plan looks like.

Comparing the LDK

There’s a lot of rearrangement going on in these rooms when it comes to placement of the furniture. Kitchen equipment and devices switch places and the fridge opens in a different direction. The design of the kitchen table and chairs is switching and sometimes there’s a computer at the wall next to the kitchen table sometimes it’s just a cabinet. The little side table for the phone changes position and so do the cabinets and the TV stand (including TV obviously) in the living room where also the couches change size at random. 

I’ll share some of my screenshots for those who are interested in this but I won’t go into detail about it. If I wanted to adress these issues I’d be sitting here with another overly long post like this particular one going on about furniture colour, dimension and placement of a show that couldn’t be further away from this content lol. (Not that I wouldn’t have fun doing it but let’s be real, there has to be a line somewhere!) The main reason for this post is to share my findings about the floor plan of the apartment and since the main positions of things stay the same regarding the LDK there’s no real need for that either.

(examples kitchen: top left - Adventure episode 21; top right - OWG; middle left - Adventure episode 21; middle right -  OWG; bottom left - tri. Reunion; bottom right - OWG)

(examples couch size and furniture arrangement in the living room: top left - Adventure episode 21; top right - tri. Reunion; second row left - Adventure 02; second row right - OWG; third row left - Adventure episode 32; third row right - Adventure episode 34; bottom left - Adventure episode 21; bottom right - tri - Coexistence)

(examples cabinet/computer station behind the kitchen table: top left - Adventure episode 21; top right - tri. Reunion; bottom left - Adventure episode 32; bottom right - tri. Confession)

Alright. Now on to more interesting things.

Analyzing Taichi’s room

Now that we’ve got the easy part out of the way let’s check out the rooms attached to the LDK starting with Taichi’s room as we have the most information about it.

My first step here was to turn the linework we are provided with by the “Design Works” into a flat plan by morphing the perspective following the same path as for the plan analysis. This turned out as an utter failure when I realized I don’t have the tools to do so. I ended up turning to the screenshot from tri. - Confessions and went from there back checking with the linework for proportion and position reference.

(reminder)

To explain how exactly I went about this would would take a riddiculous amount of time. What I did in short was to reengineer the one-point-perspective bird-eye-view we’re getting in this screenshot to a somewhat flat plan. This leaves a lot of lose ends as we don’t see where the wardrobe, the computer desk, the bed, the coffee table, the rug, and the TV stand end. 

We do know a few things though:

The wall with the glass doors leading to the balcony is an extention of the living room.

The wall with the door is a given from the floor plan of “Design Works”.

The door to Taichi’s room and the bathroom are also given in said floor plan which indicate the wall separating them being in the middle of them both.

The width of the room is given in both the screenshot and the lineworks. This is the point where I started using Taichi’s size and shoulder width as measurement unit. (Sorry for the abuse, Taichi! You were very helpful though!) With this knowledge I could now determine the layout of Taichi’s room in relation to the already established floor plan setting up the missing wall.

The desk and chair are obvious. 

Using what we were given in the original plan of “Design Works” I took the size of the TV stand as given and decided the one in Taichi’s room is the same dimension. I double checked this with the aforementioned website of real furniture proportions and found it - even though shorter - pretty accurate.

Taking a closer look at the lineworks of Taichi’s room you can see that the TV stand alings almost with the door to his room. This now gives us great information about the wardrobe. We do know where the wardrobe starts and how deep it is thanks to the screenshot. We also know where the room ends and the glass doors to the balcony start. Seeing in the lineworks that the wardrobe goes all the way to this wall we now know the dimensions of the wardrobe (keep it in mind, it will determine the size of the other two rooms.)

We know where the smaller PC desk starts (attached to the slightly larger desk), how deep it is and we know it extends to the wall with the balcony doors. 

We are also given three sides of the bed and a fixed position in the room as seen in the screenshot. Putting this down into the floor plan gave the missing side to close the bed frame.

From the lineworks I assumed the rug being rather square in shape and having one side given in relation to the coffee table, TV stand and wardrobe width in the screenshot and the lineworks it was easy to place this square down.

The coffee table ended up being a smaller version of the one in the living room adjusting its proportions to the width we’re given in the screenshot.

The balcony doors ended up being half the width of the ones in the living room. I randomly tried this size since there are two panels in Taichi’s room and four in the living room. Positioning this width in the middle of the wall is actually congruent with the lineworks of his room and the “Taichi’s shoulder width” proportion so I settled for that.

Now that all the furnishings were placed down in the blue print I back checked with the website of furniture sizes and calculated side proportions back and forth. After some adjustments and fiddling around I finally ended up with a plan for Taichi’s room in tri. (As I said, the individual steps would take extremely long to lay out to you. If you care, pm me and we go into detail lol) Looking like this:

If you double check this plan with the plan given in the “Design Works” you will find that the position of the doors to Taichi’s bedroom and the bathroom have been adjusted somewhat towards the living room. There’s several reasons for this.

Taichi’s room dimensions are determined by what we just established.

In screenshots throughout the whole show the door leading to Taichi’s (and Hikari’s) room is more in between couch and kitchen table than directly behind the kitchen table.

I’ve not been working on single rooms individually as I guide you through but simultaneously on everything at once making sure everything matches and I don’t end up with a bathroom twice the size of the kitchen...oh wait. I’ll get there, promise! (No that’s not a threat!)

Comparing Taichi’s room

Alright this will be fun. The arrangement of furniture in this room has changed so many times that one could lose count and going by the screenshots I took over the course of 7 movies and 2 seasons I was facing a huge amount of discrepancy. 

Comparing the balcony windows

This difference is probably the most noteworthy of them all as it defines the general size of the room.

(examples: top left - Adventure episode 21; top right - OWG; second row - Adventure episode 35; third row - Adventure 02; bottom - tri. Determination)

Honestly, while trying to figure out the cut of the apartment this was the biggest struggle (which transfers to the office of OWG as it is the same situation really). Eventually I had to make a decision and I decided on the cut that goes with the two window planes instead of four. The main reason for my decision was just common sense really. An apartment in Tokyio affordable for a family of four surely isn’t that  big of a size. If we went with the four panel window we’d end up with a width of the room identical to the living room (as it has a four panel window). Knowing where the door to Taichi’s room is (and therefore the other wall) this would mean Taichi and Hikari had a room the size of the living room and the dining room just to themselves. This is so highly unlikely considering where they live that I’m sure we can agree that this can’t be the case really. I did mess around with the furniture and arranged them in a wider room testing out theories like “What if those four panels are looking out of the building in a 90° angle to the living room?” and similar things but knowing that the balcony is connected to both Taichi’s room and the living room theories like these were ruled out quickly. Plenty of thought went into this only to come to the conclusion that I will move on with what tri gives us which also is supported in any other episode of Adventure besides 21 and Adventure 02 as well as the official lineworks of the “Design Works” book that served as a source for my plan.

Comparing the wall to the right of the door

There is again a very mentionable difference throughout the show also determining the general cut of the room to a certain extend.

(examples: top left - OWG; top right - Adventure episode 31; middle - Adventure 02; bottom - tri - Confession)

As you can see in the screenshots above the distance between the doorframe and the wall separating Taichi’s room from the bathroom differs in wardrobe depth. I played around with this again which means I moved the door up and down the wall seeing how this would adapt to the furniture inside that room and also how it would affect the arrangements outside in the LDK and for the bathroom. In the end I returned to my base argument of the positioning of the doors. Even though I already had to adjust their placement towards the window side of the apartment due to the bathroom giving difficulties if I didn’t. 

There’s more to compare and talk about Taichi’s (and Hikari’s) room but that only regards the interior and as said before that’s a whole different topic one could go on about forever. So let’s move on!

Setting up the bathroom

Honestly there’s very little information about that place. We get one (!) glimpse into this room in Adventure episode 21 where Hikari waits outside the toilet for Koromon finishing his business.

Thanks to the “Design Works” book there is also a sketch of a potential layout which doesn’t even match the plan it belongs to in the slightest when blowing it up to match dimensions. It also has nothing in common with what we see in the screenshot above.

This little sketch which is merely a sidenote of the floor plan in “Design Works” really is so out of proportion that no matter what you do when trying to blow it up and match arrangements of the plan it will not fit at all. Looking at that one screenshot I still decided to go with the sketch rather than what we get from the show since it is obvious that the toilet right behind the door with only enough space for a pair of slippers making people climb over the toilet whenever they want to take a shower is just for pure story telling purposes and not for actual arrangements.

 For this part of the floor plan I just guesstimated using the layout we get from the sketch and adjusted it so it would fit in dimensions. I also used the room width we established planning Taichi’s room by simply extending it. Eventually things added up and worked out proportionwise that I ended up with this:

Now that this side of the place is settled time to finish the other side.

Setting up Hikari’s room and the parents’ bedroom

Alright. We can see the finishing line from here! 

We already established the wall distribution of the office before which implies the wall distribution of the room we never get to look inside. We just need to determine the width of those rooms. Again using some common sense the missing wall can be nothing but a straight line. Where this is we need to figure out though. 

First we need to take a look at what else we know about these rooms or the rooms that should be these - meaning one of them being Hikari’s room we get to know in Adventure 02 and the assumably existing bedroom of the parents. An educated guess would lead us to the assumption that once Hikari was old enough to have her own bedroom (too old to share it with her big brother) the parents gave up on their bedroom and moved into the office. Alternatively they empied the office for her. Let’s see which one it is.

We only get to see Hikari’s room twice throughout Adventure 02 and both times the same shot.

This looks like a lot of information at first glance but when trying to place it down on the plan it doesn’t work out really. What we have is a bed, a desk with a chair and a rug. We also know her desk is under a window (not in front of a balcony door!) and the other two walls are plain. We also don’t know where the door to this room is. The classic movie take on this would indicate that the viewer is looking at these scenes from the doorframe but it might as well be on one of the walls to the side just outside of the viewers sight. We don’t know.

Starting with this window we see it somewhat rules out this room being the office OWG takes place. The office does not have any windows but the balcony doors and two doors leading to other rooms. The rest of the walls are plain.

Taking this information I think it is save to say that the parents gave up on their bedroom and moved into the emptied office. (Makes me wonder where all that stuff went.)

Back to the window of Hikari’s room. I made an assumption here claiming the window we see is facing the same direction as the kitchen window. The reason for this thought is the view we have from outside the apartment on the main entrance.

These two shots as used before point this out best. You can clearly see the kitchen window being close but not right next to the main entrance leaving enough space for a window. The fact that it has the same recessed design as the kitchen window supports this thought.

Obviously I could be totally off with this theory as we’re moving outside of any given content now. The window we see in the two screenshots of Hikari’s room might as well be on the wall facing a 90° angle to what i just talked about. 

Taking the furniture size for the desk, chair and bed we established when figuring out Taichi’s room placing it in an arrangement as in the screenshot leaves only one reasonable placement that again supports the theory of where I will put my window.

Next thing I needed to clarify was the width of the room. After some consideration I decided to use the angled arrangement of the wall separating the two rooms as the perfect placement for a wardrobe. Taking what we worked out in Taichi’s room I used his wardrobe and placed in that position. This at first being nothing of a random thought turned out to work surprisingly well for the whole concept and after a little bit of playing around with the furniture I decided that this is where I will close the room.

Obviously I had to check back with the office now being a bedroom if that newly established wall works out for this room as well. What the room needed was a bed and maybe two night stands and a wardrobe. We know the size of a wardrobe by now and I accepted nightstands being about the same dimension as the phone stand. I also turned to my trusty guide on how to furnish an apartment in Tokyo looking up double beds. Placing this down in proportion to the already known single bed of Taichi and Hikari this worked out better than I would’ve hoped for. 

One last test seeing how a now reduced in depth two panel window would fit into the wall (remember the issue we had with Taichi’s room at this point? It carried on!) left me satisfied enough to keep it as it is.

That’s when I was sitting on a complete blue print of the apartment completely furnished besides Hikari’s room still looking somewhat empty. Doing some more guesstimation here I gave the poor girl the same convenience as her brother adding a TV plus stand, a carpet and a coffee table and for the hell of it a 2 seats couch because that’s what girls have and the room had the space. 

If you made it to here: Thank you so much for reading! You have my highest respect for dealing with me!

The final result

 Again this is the mix and match of what is given by the producers, official books, a good amount of adjusting to divergence with the addition of substantiated guessing. 

If you now think “Dude, that is just... no! What did you conjour up?” I don’t blame you. If you have better ideas that you can support by anything but headcanon then please by all means pm me. I’m dying to hear other people’s take on this subject and would love to exchange about it. Now without further ado here it is:

I hope I didn’t do this just for my own sake of mind but that it can actually be put to good use by fanartists, writers or analysts that might do a better job than my rambling lol. If you actually can use it for your own projects please let me know! I’d be happy if this helped anyone to do their projects! 

[alleiradayne]

SPN MinnCon Day 3

You know what, I’m pulling the I-just-gave-birth-to-a-tiny-helpless-human card. That’s why I didn’t get back to this sooner. Also my mom and aunt were in town helping out a ton but it also kept me away from Tumblr most days.

So. MinnCon Day 3. This day was the day for me. I had been looking forward to the whole weekend for months. But truly, this day was something that I had been freaking out about for about two weeks for two reasons. 1.) Jared Photo Op. 2) Jared 30 Minute Meet and Greet.

I’ll preface this with the fact that I am a dyed-in-the-wool Jared/Sam stan. I cannot get enough of him and his smile and his sense of humor and his hair and his compassion and his empathy and his brain and his eyes. Okay, yeah, I love the 6′4″ mansuit he inhabits, too.

When you read this, you’re going to see a lot of Jared. A decent bit of Jensen, too (I took a lot of pictures of him). But I’ll be writing a lot more about Jared. Except for the meet and greets. Which... ugh, I wish I could tell you guys about his 30 minute meet and greet as well as his 10 minute for VIP. But I can’t. :(

Buckle up bitches, this shits long...

It was the first picture I took.

The day started out with the Gold Panel. If you haven’t seen it yet, my fellow VIP’er, Sue, gave Jared a thing of cupcakes when he called on her for a question and she didn’t have one ready. So she asked him if he wanted a cupcake. There’s rules about giving them food; I guess they’re not supposed to take it, but Jared was like, “Uh shit yeah I want a cupcake.”

He was only supposed to take one for each of them. But I don’t think he could hear her very well. So he took the whole thing. I was supposed to eat one of those fucking cupcakes.

And then:

CUPCAKEPOCALYPSE

It went on for several minutes. Jared dropped the cupcakes (THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO EAT) and made a giant mess. A creation staff person came out to help, a fan offered baby wipes, and Jensen had to help clean Jared’s face.

“Help a brother out, man.”

“You are beyond help.”

Brothers. I swear.

Questions were fun and it was during this panel that I could tell that the day would be distinctly different from previous con’s Sundays. We all know Jared is quite a bit more talkative than Jensen. But today, that would not be the case. Someone put a quarter in Jensen...

He’s so pretty.

Again, I’m not sure what someone said (I know I could go watch the video but, time) but Jensen busted out the imaginary popcorn.

And then there were more wonderful pictures of Jared.

See. Lots of Jared.

If you want to see ALL of the pictures I took (and edited) from the entire weekend:

GO HERE

The flicker album will be available until flickr decides to get rid of free accounts or whatever nonsense Yahoo wants to do with flickr.

After the gold panel I had Jared’s 30 minute meet and greet and his photo op. I was hoping that by waiting to post this, I’d have my .jpg from Chris, but I don’t.  The meet and greet was fantastic. There were 20 people in that session, and we drew numbers for seats. I got number 6 which ended up being right in the middle of the front row. I don’t know how I got so fucking lucky...

I got to ask my very weird question and got a very cogent and incredibly self-aware answer that kind of blew me away. And we even had time to sneak in my follow-up, which also resulted in another ridiculously self-aware response. And he remembered these questions because he later brought the topic up again at the 10 minute VIP.

Now the photo op. I’m pretty sure this interaction tops the entire weekend (just sneaking past his autograph and getting a smooch from Rob Benedict). Remember the fact that I’m 37 weeks pregnant. I had no clue what the hell to do for this photo op. I was wearing my self-made maternity “Love Yourself First” t-shirt, all black, with red/black buffalo plaid. I don’t know if it was entirely obvious that I was pregnant as I walked up to Jared for my op.

The VIP folks with his op got to go first. I opted, out of the four of us with his op, to go last. I walked up as Bang A Gong (Get It On) played, and whenever there is music playing, I cannot help but dance a bit. So my dumbass does my white-girl shimmy up to him and he laughed as he did his own short dance, but then proceeded to damn near do the splits to take the picture. I’m 5′4″. He’s 6′4″. I definitely didn’t want to take a picture with my face at his sternum. He knew that.

But other than that I didn’t know what to do. So I told him that. Here’s the conversation:

“Hey. I really don’t know what to do because she’s in the way,” I said as I pointed at my very-much-in-the-way-pregnant-stomach.

Jared’s eyes popped when he looked and then immediately started rubbing my stomach. Now normally, I would not have been okay with some rando touching my pregnant stomach without asking.

Jared Padalecki is not some rando. And he asked, “How far along are you?”

I laughed as I said, “I’m due in three weeks.”

If I thought his eyes popped before, they damn near fell out of his head at that. He replied, “Holy shit, how the fuck are you on your feet?! That is so badass, I can’t believe you’re here!” He held up his hand for a high-five, which I did, and he grabbed my hand to hold on to it. He then asked me my name. I told him and mentioned I’d been to the con last year with my sister and she was sad she couldn’t make it this year. And he then said, “Jeanna, awesome, I’m so sorry your sister couldn’t be here. But, how are you feeling? Do you need anything?” I told him I was great and that I’d been looking forward to this for months even though I’m huge and was really nervous about this photo op.

He then pulled me into him, wrapped his arms around me (like he does for most of his ops) and we took the picture. With his arms still around me, he looked me in the eye and said, “It was wonderful to meet you again. I am so glad you are here and that you’re doing so well. Is this your first?”

“Yup.”

“I am so happy for you, that’s awesome. I remember Gen had the pregnancy glow, you look absolutely stunning, you’re rockin’ it hard. Thank you again for being here. I’ll see you again later in VIP.”

I thanked him and hugged him once more and he kissed the top of my god damn head.

And then I left the photo op room. As I was walking out of the room, a fellow VIP’er was waiting for me and saw me walking out. I think I had the worst dead-eyes face on because she said, “What happened?! Did something go wrong with your op?!”

And I said, “No. It was amazing I’m fucking speechless and don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m forgetting something. I... don’t know what to do all of a sudden.”

“Breathe, honey. You’re forgetting to breathe.”

You’re god damn right I was forgetting to breathe. I mean, this just happened:

I couldn’t have asked for a better photo.

Moving on...

Next was Mark Pellegrino’s panel which was stellar. I love him.

Rob came out eventually and was giving Mark the Dad stare. I kinda wish Rob would look at me like that... eh, @atc74?

And then there was some funny God and His Children interactions.

Such a stellar cast.

And then there was the Jensen and Jared main panel.

Guys. Gals. There are so many fucking pictures I took. Here’s a random sampling:

It was an amazing panel. Like I said someone put a quarter in Jensen and he was just on point this year. Compared to other cons and videos I’ve watched, he really came out of his shell at this event and put on an amazing show with Jared. I absolutely recommend watching all the videos from this convention because they are so worth it.

After the main panel was Mark’s, Jensen’s, and Jared’s 10 minute VIP meet and greets. Holy shit were they great. Again, can’t really talk about them, but I got to sit next to Jared and he doesn’t understand personal space. I’ll leave it at that.

The night ended with autographs. I hit up Jared’s first, which in hindsight wish I’d done last but oh well. I hopped in line and when he saw me he said, “Remind me how long you’ve got?” as he reached out and touched my stomach again. I told him it was three weeks out and he smiled and shook his head as he said, “Damn, you are a fucking trooper. Congratulations again. Keep kickin’ ass.” He signed the photo, thanked me, and I thanked him. Right as I stepped away, he said, “You tweet that baby’s picture right away! I wanna see her face!”

I did tweet a picture, but I don’t think he saw it. That’s okay, I didn’t really think he would.

Jensen was next, who I had sign my J2 op from the previous year with my sister. While signing, his mala bead bracelet got stuck on the table cloth. My first thought was to say, “What did you do, Ray?” in my best Winston impression. And Jensen didn’t miss a beat. “I couldn’t help it. It just popped in there...”

Thanks for knowing your Ghostbusters references, Jensen.

Last but not least was Misha. Aside from his 10-min meet and greet, I’d never really interacted with him. There was a short wait for him as he finished up his Castiel photo ops. My VIP liaison and I were waiting together because she had an op for his auto too. And then he arrived, got settled and waved us over. I had him sign the first op my sister and I ever got from 2016 with Misha and Mark Sheppard. Mark had signed it last year.

And Misha remembered from VIP on Saturday that I was pregnant and asked me about it. When I told him it was a girl, he said, “Oh yeah, you’re gonna love it, it’s stupidly fun. Picked a name yet?” and I told him we decided on Elizabeth. His response was, “How cool, my sister’s name is Elizabeth. You have fun with that baby and don’t listen to anyone. Follow your gut. Science, too. But trust yourself. You got this.”

And then we were done. I went back to the VIP room, helped clean up a bit, gathered my stuff, and headed for my car. The second I walked out of the room, I started crying because... it was over. Everything was done, all the things I’d been looking forward to for months were... done. Just like that, in the blink of an eye, the weekend was behind me.

I’m still not over it. I’m waiting for the next opportunity to meet them all again. I called my sister in that moment of sudden sadness and told her that we absolutely had to do VIP together at Chicago, or hope they come back to Minneapolis soon. I can’t imagine doing a con without VIP again.

And the weekend wouldn’t have been what it was without all the people I met and new friends I made. You’re all wonderful and amazing and I can’t thank you enough for how welcoming you all were.

I hope you all enjoyed reading these. I think I’ll put a master post together to link to all three parts/days and add a link to the flickr album there as well. Thanks again for reading!

[philosophronia]

Ice Fantasia 2019

My daughter has been tucked into bed and taking a shower has jolted me awake, so I figured I might as well do my Ice Fantasia 2019 write up while the show is still fresh in my mind! I thought long and hard about how I should organize this write-up (long meaning the amount of time it took me to take a bath), and I came to the conclusion that it would be better for me to talk about each skater rather than each program, so that’s what I’ll do. I apologize in advance for the rambling nature of this review -- I’ll skim through it once after I’m done, but I probably won’t end up editing it extensively.

The show was divided into Acts I and II. I have the program to the left of my laptop as I type this, but the orders did change quite a bit from the time they printed these out and the time the show was performed. I’m sure they had their reasons for the changes, though, because overall, I felt that the skaters went with their “easier,” less energy-draining programs in Act I and showed off the power and energy they had in Act II. Good plan, in my opinion; it can’t be easy skating two programs + at least two group numbers!

I believe twenty skaters participated in this show. I say “I believe” because there was a group number with what I remember to be six young Korean skaters, but it might have been eight or nine -- some of them did a solo snippet in the beginning and I’m not sure if those skaters are the same as the ones that did the short group number towards the end of that routine. The young skaters were absolutely darling and just a bundle of talent. There were maybe… three or four girls that came out in the beginning and did a bit of their program. Every single one of them landed their jumps and got a huge round of applause from the audience, which must have been such a special moment for them. Junhwan popped out at the end and did a bit of the group dance with them before disappearing backstage again. That was adorable!

According to the program, it were the junior skaters that were supposed to skate first (right after the opening), but they changed it around so that Seoyeon Ji skated first. She did a program to River by Bishop Briggs and nailed it! She’s a pretty tiny skater, but she skated big and wasn’t afraid to hit the accents. I would’ve been a nervous wreck had I been the one skating after the entire main cast’s group number, but the thirteen year old didn’t make any mistakes and was just a joy to watch.

Ok, now I’m just going to talk about the skaters in no particular order…

Jason Brown

It’s not an exaggeration to say that Jason stole the show. He came out third in Act I and gave such a charming performance to Can’t Stop the Feeling that he had the entire audience clapping and hollering in no time (kudos to everyone there for clapping on the beat). He’s the type of skater that… you know how sometimes, you see a skater that maybe doesn’t have the best technique and maybe doesn’t win the medals but always has your eyes drawn to them? That’s Jason. He’s an incredible performer, and although I knew this through watching his performances through YouTube, it was even more evident when he was skating in front of my eyes. Most of the people around me were people that were invited to the show by LG (aka folks that didn’t know any of the skaters), and the instant they sent him off backstage with a deafening applause, they turned to each other and went “That was so much fun.” Also, the way he does a little hop as he waves to the audience is endearing. You could tell that he was having a blast and appreciated the support he was receiving from the audience. Also, his split jump (I don’t know if that’s what it’s called, but there was this move that he did a ton where he jumped into the air and did a side split) had an incredible height to it. I don’t even know how he got up so high.

Evgenia Medvedeva

Zhenya did two programs: one to Million Roses and another to 7 rings. Neither program had jumps in it, which was a bit surprising, I suppose, but it didn’t take away from her performance at all. The Million Roses program was executed with such beauty that it wasn’t until she picked up her rose and left that I realized that she hadn’t jumped at all. From where I was sitting, I could see her putting in the effort to make her arms elegant but not floppy. It was beautiful! 7 rings was the second one she did, and that program really showed off her sass. The absence of jumps meant that she had more time for dance steps, which I personally enjoyed. I just hope that she didn’t take the jumps out because of an injury! D:

Peng Cheng - Jin Yang

So, I’m not a huge watcher of Pairs figure skating, simply because it makes me so darn nervous, but I really enjoyed their performance. In the first program they did, they skated with a sword, which did make me nervous but was tastefully used. Like the other skaters, their first program was the one that to me seemed like might take up less energy. Their second one was packed, though, and was a delight to watch. I believe it was the third act of Act II (after the junior kids and a group number that didn’t feature Tessa, Scott, and these two. They made every element look effortless. The audience gasped when they skated past them while executing their lifts (as did I). As I said, it seemed like many of them weren’t into figure skating and came because they got an invitation from their company, so they were in awe and shock for sure. Such a beautiful way to be introduced to pairs!

Jin Boyang

First of all, I’m fairly sure that if you look up the word ‘glide’ in the dictionary, a photo of Boyang will be right next to the definition. All of the skaters were fantastic, of course, but when Boyang skated, you couldn’t hear the sound of his blades about 80% of the time. I’m not exaggerating. His act was in the second half of Act I, and all throughout the program, I was thinking, “Wait… was it this quiet when the other skaters skated as well?” He skated with such grace, and his smile lit up the arena. His jumps were executed beautifully as well. I think he popped one, but honestly, I doubt that anyone remembered that mistake, because everything else was done really well.

Rika Kihira

Out of her two performances, I definitely enjoyed the second one (which was a routine to Sia’s The Greatest) more. I’m used to seeing Rika perform more slow and elegant programs (she might have done routines of similar styles in galas and other shows, but I’ve only watched her competing), but this one had a bit of a punch to it and a ton of dancing. I loved it! She had quite a bit of jumps in her programs, all of which she landed with no problem at all. Her costumes, too, were exquisite. I think she was the only one who had a different costume for each number (some of the skaters stayed in the costume they wore for their second solo performance for the finale, while others changed back to the costume they wore for their first solo performance). They were all beautiful, but the one she wore for her first solo act and the one she wore at the finale group number was breathtaking. They were ones she wore in competition, I believe. She was an absolute joy to watch, and I’m so glad she decided to hop over here and perform for the Korean audience!

Vladimir Besedin - Oleksiy Polishchuk

In addition to singles, ice dance, and pairs, Ice Fantasia had two ice acrobatic routines. I wasn’t sure what I expected to see when I read their names on the program, but holy cow. They came out and did some crazy stuff. There were balancing acts (at one point, one man was balancing on top of the other man’s head), spins, and plenty of panic-inducing moments. For example, at one point, the man that was balancing on top suddenly just went limp and dropped to the ice (the other man caught him, of course, but it looked like he didn’t!), and I screeched internally. Their acts were a treat to watch and so very different from anything else I’ve watched. I don’t know if anyone had their camera on while they were performing (I think most folks were too busy gaping at them to film), but I really hope someone did!

Kaetlyn Osmond

Out of all of the ladies, Kaetlyn skated the biggest. She filled up the entire rink and seemed like one of those skaters who performs for the entire audience and not just those that are sitting in the first couple of rows. I bet audience members that were sitting up on the second floor could feel and see her performance as well as people that were sitting in the front row. I feel like I’m just repeating the same thing over and over again, but she just skates that… big. The fact that she’s got those huge, gorgeous eyes didn’t hurt. XD I feel that the height, speed, and ice coverage of the singles skaters’ jumps are better highlighted when captured on camera than when seen in person sometimes, but with Kaetlyn, that was not the case at all. Her high speed and the extraordinary height her jumps reached were visible to the naked eye. Truly a beautiful skater!

Elladj Balde

I can’t speak more highly of Elladj Balde. His two performances were absolutely extraordinary. I didn’t know of him going into this show, but the moment his first program started, I knew he was a skater that had the same star-like quality that Jason Brown has. His musicality is exquisite, and the way he carries his upper body on the ice is breathtaking. His first program was to The Sound of Silence. It got a huge round of applause from the audience. But it was his second program that I’m sure will stick with the audience members for weeks, months, years. It was the Michael Jackson medley, and it was… awesome. Elladj Balde is an amazing dancer and that strength of his shone through with this routine. At the end of the routine, the audience screamed and clapped like they were at a K-Pop concert. I think he got the loudest applause of the entire show, and no one -- literally no one -- there knew who he was. That’s how good he was. I know a lot of you will want to look for videos that people posted of Tessa and Scott (nothing wrong with that -- they were amazing), but I urge you to see if anyone posted one of Elladj Balde as well.

Now, before you start bashing the Korean audience for enjoying a performance to a Michael Jackson medley, please be aware that a lot of what goes on in the US doesn’t reach Korea. Korea’s got their own share of issues and scandals that take up their newspapers and news channels. It’s not because they don’t pay attention to the news or that they tolerate abuse that they were fine with two Michael Jackson routines being in the show. I guarantee that most of them genuinely didn’t know. I bet a lot of them didn’t even know that Tessa and Scott’s second performance was to a MJ song!

Tessa Virtue - Scott Moir

Oh boy, oh boy. Where to start with these two? Most of the people that came to the show were probably there to see Tessa and Scott skate, and I’m sure that every single one of them left satisfied and very glad that they rushed from school, work, home etc. to see them. In the group routines, the two of them just sparkled. I was trying my gosh darn hardest to pay attention to the entire group as a whole, but I always found my eyes being drawn to Tessa at some point. That’s not to say that the other skaters were bad! They were good as well, but there’s just something about Tessa that makes you pay extra attention to her. I’m fairly sure I would’ve been able to pick out Tessa from the sea of skaters even if I’d been sitting up on the third floor. In general, their programs had a lot of dancing and some beautiful lifts. For the audience members that were expecting a competitive-routine-quality routine, it might have been a tad disappointing, but I felt that they came out and gave an entertaining and strong performance. Everyone always talks about Tessa’s dancing (rightfully so -- she’s a fantastic dancer), but Scott stood out quite a bit during this show as well. He is very expressive. He had the Kaetlyn-like quality, where the quality of his performance could be enjoyed by any audience in the arena, regardless of how far back they were sitting.

Their first routine was to Dark Times and the second one was to You Rock My World. Both performances were lovely and such a joy to watch. As I said, there was a lot of dance content in both of their programs, so audience members that weren’t really into figure skating could enjoy it as well. In the program, it was stated that Elladj Balde would do his Michael Jackson routine in Act I and Tessa and Scott would do theirs in Act II, but in the end, they ended up doing theirs one after another (Elladj first, then Tessa and Scott). An odd decision (they switched up the orders quite a bit), but it didn’t take away from the experience at all. Elladj came out and nailed his program, Tessa and Scott came out and nailed theirs, and the audience was more than happy to enjoy both of them.

Junhwan Cha

And last but not least, the star of the show, Junhwan! First of all, the level of support he got from the audience -- figure skating fan or not -- was incredible. He was the front and center for the group numbers and the last solo performer of each act and every time his name was announced, the audience started clapping and cheering loudly for him. Both of his skates were phenomenal. I remember a couple of the older ladies sitting behind me kept going “Is he Korean? Is he really Korean?” because they just could not believe that such a beautiful skater could be from their country! He looked like an anime character, gliding across the ice to his Romeo and Juliet medley. His skates were probably the most jam-packed with content out of all of the performances of the evening. He was also part of all of the group numbers, which must have been incredibly tiring, but he came out and performed every single one of them with a ton of energy. He never once looked floppy or tired. His second solo act was with a singer singing live right behind him. That one was a treat to watch live in person. The singer’s voice and Junhwan’s skating complemented each other so well.

So, uh… I guess that’s about it! I could probably go on and on about the show, but I tried to keep it short and simple. I’m sorry if it sounded like I was rambling 99% of the time! I hope it helped the enthusiasm I had for the show shine through XD Overall, I was just extremely grateful that these skaters took the time to fly out all the way to Korea (especially when many of them have other shows lined up) and perform for us and that I had the financial means to purchase tickets to go watch the show. I don’t know how expensive tickets to skating shows are in general (this is the first one I’ve been to), but all things considered, it wasn’t outrageously expensive, for which I was very, very thankful for :)

Some other highlights from the show included…

Kaetlyn and Junhwan doing a little shimmying at the beginning of the opening of the 2nd act, where they were paired together.

Zhenya shaking Junhwan’s hand so hard because she was bouncing up and down in excitement at the very end of the show when they were all holding hands in a circle.

The audience squealing every time Jason skid up to them and wooed them with his charm.

[noona-clock]

Something’s Brewing❄️☕ - Part 2

Genre: Coffee Shop!AU

Pairing: Jungshin x You

By Admin B

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

It was extremely difficult for you to stay away from The Grind the next day, but you really had no choice. You spent the morning working at your internship at the city’s history museum, the afternoon cleaning your apartment, and the evening hosting your family for dinner (hence the cleaning earlier). 

You didn’t even have time to work on your paper let alone get out to get some coffee and chat with your new crush.

(You were also dying to know if Seungyoon had found out any information about him yet).

You weren’t even able to visit The Grind again until a few days after, on Saturday. While you were pretty bummed about it, you couldn’t help but bounce with excitement as you walked down the sidewalk toward the shop. Saturday was their busiest day, as it was with most businesses, so both Seungyoon and Jungshin were very likely to be there.

Before you entered, you looked down at your outfit one last time. You had taken great care to look cute and chic but still casual in your wine colored peplum sweater with a black Peter Pan collar, black skinny jeans, and black patent Oxford shoes topped off with your mustard toggle pea coat. 

The weather was growing steadily colder as December wore on, and while dropping temperatures usually made you somewhat depressed, you would never pass up a chance to wear a cute coat. Or a cute hat; a black knit beanie sat atop your wavy, tousled hair at the moment. 

It was just one of those days where you were really diggin’ your outfit. Although you wondered if Jungshin would even recognize you since he’d only seen you in 'lazy, homework day’ attire.

Taking a deep breath, you reached for the door handle, pulling it toward you and stepping inside. The place was as busy as it usually got on a Saturday, no more and no less. You were able to catch Seungyoon’s eye immediately after arriving. He was currently taking a customer’s order at the counter, but no one else was in line so you walked right on up.

“Don’t worry, I got some dirt,” he murmured once the previous customer had departed, leaving the two of you relatively alone.

“Oooh, what?” Your heart started pounding.

Seungyoon looked around to make sure his new boss wasn’t within earshot before leaning forward just a tad.

“He has a dog named Simba, he plays the bass in a band called CNBlue, he has an MBA, and...no girlfriend.”

Your spirits rose with each fact Seungyoon spouted. He was a well-educated, dog-loving bassist who was currently unattached. If that didn’t spell out ‘DREAM MAN,’ then you had no idea what did.

“Well,” was all you could say at the moment. “You done good, Yoon.”

Seungyoon smiled proudly, looking extremely satisfied with himself as he punched your chai tea latte into the register.

“What do I owe you?” you asked, handing him a couple dollars and some change.

“...A date with your sister?”

Your eyes widened, and you actively had to stop your jaw from dropping open. “Really?”

“Yeah…” Seungyoon blushed, averting his gaze bashfully.

This was...an interesting turn of events. You never in a million years would have thought he’d had the hots for your sister, but apparently, you’d been wrong.

“I’ll see what I can do,” you replied, nodding slowly, though still in utter shock.

 You turned and headed for one of your favorite armchairs by a huge window, a plush, green velvet wingback. It was rather large, perfect for curling up and staring out the window to people watch. You realized you still had to edit your paper, and now would be the perfect time to do so, but…

Another employee, Lisa, brought your drink, which made you wonder if Jungshin even was there… You hadn’t seen him yet, and looking around the shop currently yielded no better results. So you took the opportunity to whip out your phone and do some research on his band. You typed in ‘CNBlue’ into the search engine app, clicking on the first link which seemed to be their official website. 

Well, well, well. They were legit enough to have an official website. 

The picture at the top of the page showed there were four members, and honestly, all of them were extremely good-looking. 

What the heck?! How had you never heard of them before?!

You immediately clicked on the ‘Members’ section, scrolling down until you found Jungshin’s picture. 

Oh my god, he was so freaking cute.

 You read his bio, though you didn’t really find out anything new. And then…

Oh, praise Jesus. 

There was a link to his Instagram. 

You had to stop yourself from squealing, and you clicked on it so quickly you almost dropped your phone.

His feed was filled with selfies (OK THANK YOU), pictures of him and his dog, and pictures of his bandmates. You wanted to follow him, but you also didn’t want him to know you’d been stalking him. You continued to scroll through his feed, so engrossed in the pictures you didn’t even realize someone was coming toward you until you heard a voice.

“Hey, how’s everything?”

You jumped, almost dropping your phone for the second time in less than five minutes.

“Sorry!” Jungshin chuckled. “I didn’t mean to scare you!”

“Oh, it’s okay,” You replied, blushing. “I was distracted.” You turned your phone screen off and pushed it underneath your leg as quickly as you could without looking suspicious.

“No laptop today?”

“No, not today.” Geez, your heart was still thumping from being startled. (Or was it because Jungshin was now next to and talking to you?)

“Did you get your paper done?” He leaned against the windowsill, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, basically. I just have to proofread and edit it and all that jazz.”

“You really do that?”

“...Yeah?”

“I just turned in my papers as soon as I wrote the last word. It always took me so long to actually get it done, so I never had time to edit. Plus I was just so done with it by the time I finished.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” You chuckled. “I really don’t mind writing papers, though.”

“I wish I was like that,” he replied. “So is there anything I can get you?”

“Ummm… No, I think I’m okay.”

“Alright, just let me know if you need anything.”

“Will do.”

Once he had left, you got your phone back out and continued looking through his Instagram and the band’s website. You found a calendar and noticed they were set to play at a local venue a week from today. You obviously had to go, but you couldn’t just show up randomly and alone. You needed someone to go with you… You took a sip of your drink before getting out of your chair and heading to the front counter.

“Hey,” you said to Seungyoon, your brow furrowed.

“What’s up?”

“So, Jungshin’s band is playing at The Roxy next Saturday. Will you go with me?”

“...I asked for a date with your sister, not with you.”

“I know that,” You replied, rolling your eyes. “But I can’t just show up without a reason. If I come with you, I’ll just say you wanted to support your boss, and you asked me to come since I’m such a frequent customer. And because we’re friends.”

Seungyoon let out a little sigh but nodded. “Okay.”

“Really?! I'll make sure my sister goes on TWO dates with you.”

Seungyoon laughed, shaking his head. “No, it's all good. We are friends. It'll be fun! Besides. I want her to decide for herself if she wants to go on a second date.”

“Okay, deal,” You smiled. “I'll buy the tickets and pick you up and everything. It'll be a friend date! You just have to ask Jungshin if his band is playing soon, so that way he won’t be surprised when you show up.”

“You are kind of a mastermind, did you know that?”

You smiled sheepishly, shrugging one shoulder. You couldn’t argue with him.

Obviously, you spent the following week choosing an outfit for the concert. You wanted to keep it casual but also stylish, and you definitely didn’t want it to look like you were trying too hard. 

Finally, on Saturday afternoon, you decided on an oversized gray sweater with a floral design across the front, navy blue velvet jogger pants, and your plain white Adidas. You figured a lot of the girls there would be wearing heels, so you wanted to stand out, even if that meant you would be a good three inches shorter than most people there.

After throwing your hair up into a bun and grabbing a scarf and your purse, you set off to pick up Seungyoon. You hadn’t seen him since last Saturday, and you had some exciting news for him. Once you pulled up to his apartment complex, you sent him a text letting him know you had arrived.

You saw him hopping down the stairs, and a smile immediately came to your face. He was going to be so excited when you told him.

As soon as he was in your car and buckled up, you pulled away from his building and started off toward the venue.

“So...guess what?” you smirked.

“What?”

“My sister said yes.”

Seungyoon gasped. “Really?!”

“Yep! She wants me to give you her number.”

Seungyoon immediately reached into his pocket for his phone. After navigating to his contacts, he glanced over at You. “Okay, I'm ready.”

You chuckled before telling him your sister’s number. “Are you going to text her?”

Seungyoon was already typing.

“Oh, geez, you'll be talking to her the whole concert, won't you?”

“Probably.”

The concert started at 8, and you and Seungyoon arrived at 7:55. The place was already pretty crowded, but you were able to work your way up to about the third row. Jungshin would definitely be able to see you, but it wouldn't look like you were trying to get his attention. Well, like you, specifically, were trying to get his attention. Which you actually were, of course. But he didn’t need to know that!

When the band came out on stage, your heart leaped into your throat. Damn, he looked so good. You elbowed Seungyoon who looked up from his phone.

“What?”

“I don't stand a chance, do I?” you said, leaning in toward his ear so he could hear you over the cheers and the beginnings of CNBlue’s first song.

“What do you mean?”

“Look at him!” He looked so cool and sexy up there with his bass guitar. 

“I'm a nerd! He’ll never fall for me!”

“He will!”

“Has he ever said anything about me?”

“...No.”

You whined.

“But he hasn't talked about anything personal to me,” he assured you. “Only when I asked him that stuff you wanted to know. He's really professional at work.”

Well...that did make you feel a little better…

Once you actually started paying attention to the music…you found out you really enjoyed their songs. They were super catchy and very poppy, but in an extremely good way. It was the kind of music that just made you feel good.

During the third or fourth song, Jungshin spotted the two of you. You almost looked away out of embarrassment, but he smiled and gave you The Nod. So he must not have thought you were weird for showing up! Knowing this, you were able to relax a little more and really feel the music. You would have to buy a CD if they had one because you already had some of these songs stuck in your head.

They played for about an hour and a half, but you wanted them to play for longer. By the end of the last song, you had not only fallen in love with CNBlue, but you had fallen even harder for Jungshin. You had really never had a thing for musicians before, but now you completely understood the appeal.

“Okay, they were really good,” Seungyoon stated as he and you headed toward the exit.

“How would you know? You were texting my sister basically the whole time,” you laughed, smirking a little.

“I was still listening!!”

“They were really good, though,” you agreed. “We need to stop by the merch booth to see if they have CDs.”

You cut through the crowd of people exiting and headed toward the back where the venue staff was selling t-shirts and CDs. Yes! 

You got out your wallet, handing the employee ten bucks and receiving the CD in return. You turned it over to read the tracklist, getting excited when you saw some songs you recognized from tonight.

“Okay, let’s go,” you said to Seungyoon, who was yet again typing away on his phone and not paying attention to what you were saying.

“Come on, Romeo,” you chuckled, putting a hand on his back and pushing him towards the exit.

Seungyoon finally put his phone away once you were outside, a very satisfied expression overtaking his face.

“What?” you asked, narrowing your eyes at him.

“I’m taking your sister to the art museum tomorrow.”

“Was that your idea?”

“I mean...no. I asked her what she liked to do, and she said she liked to go to museums. I didn’t want to just take her out to dinner or to a movie, y’know?”

“Honestly, I would rather not talk about this.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s my sister!” You stopped walking then, turning to face him. “And I swear to God if you do anything to hurt her, physically or emotionally, I will rip you to shreds.”

Seungyoon’s eyes widened. He had never been afraid of you in the whole time he’d known you. He had never even thought to be afraid of you. But the way you were staring at him...the look in your eyes… 

He was afraid of you right now.

“I understand,” he said with a solemn nod.

You smiled then. “Good.”

Just after you started walking again, you heard someone call out your name first, then Seungyoon’s name. It sounded awfully like… 

Could it be? 

You turned, your heart stopping when you saw Jungshin waving at you with one hand, carrying his bass guitar case in his other hand. There was a crowd of fans behind him, and you could see his three bandmates were still among them taking pictures and signing autographs.

“Oh my god,” you murmured, grabbing Seungyoon’s elbow.

“Be cool,” Seungyoon whispered, waving back at Jungshin. “This is a good sign.”

“I am mentally incapable of being cool,” you reminded him, pursing your lips a little. Jungshin was walking over to you, smiling kind of like a goofball, and it was freaking adorable.

“You’re cooler than you think you are! Look at your outfit. That is totally a cool outfit.”

“Really? You think so?”

“Yes, it is,” Seungyoon assured you before turning toward Jungshin, who was now close enough to hear you. “Don’t you think her outfit is cool?”

Your face turned bright red as Jungshin looked you up and down.

“Oh, yeah, definitely,” he agreed.

“Thanks,” you replied, unable to look either of them in the eye at the moment.

“Y’know,” Jungshin began, talking to Seungyoon. “When you asked about this, I didn’t think you’d actually show up.”

“Hey!” Seungyoon laughed, clutching at his heart to show how hurt he was by his boss’s statement. “I am a man of my word... and a really good employee.”

“And you brought... a date?”

You couldn’t help but hear the tiny note of disappointment in his question. Of course, you fully realized you had completely imagined this, but you chose to believe you hadn’t.

“Oh, no,” Seungyoon said at the same time as you said, “No, no, no, no.”

“He’s dating my sister, actually,” you added, even though it wasn’t technically true. Yet. And you figured you might as well put this out there: “I’m not dating anyone.”

“It’s true,” Seungyoon said. “She’s 100% single. Ow.”

You had just elbowed him in the ribs.

“Really? Hmm,” Jungshin hummed. And before you could analyze what exactly that meant, he spoke again. “So what did you guys think?”

“I had a really good time,” you told him, trying your best not to smile like an idiot. “I even bought a CD.”

Jungshin laughed as you held the CD up to show him proof of your statement. “You didn’t have to do that!”

“I wanted to! I really enjoyed your songs!”

“Oh yeah? Well, thank you. I’m glad you had a good time.” Jungshin smiled at you, though it was a sort of...shy smile? Were you imagining things again?

“You’ll have to let me know when you have another gig, I’d love to come.”

“Really?” he asked, eyes widening a little. “I’d love for you to come, I’ll definitely let you know.”

“Oh my gosh, I’m so rude,” you murmured quickly, realizing you hadn’t praised him for a job well done. “You did a great job!”

“Thanks,” Jungshin chuckled bashfully, stuffing his free hand in his jeans pocket.

Seungyoon was beginning to feel a bit awkward which he knew was a good thing for you. But, still, he cleared his throat, garnering Jungshin’s attention. “We, uh, should probably get going.”

As much as you wanted to stay and talk to Jungshin, you were getting a little sleepy… “Yeah, we need to head out.”

“Me too, actually. Got an early shift at the shop tomorrow.”

“I’ll see you there,” Seungyoon chuckled, though he really wasn’t looking forward to it. The ‘early shift part’ not the ‘see you there’ part.

You wanted to say the same thing (‘I’ll see you there’) but you figured that would be a little...too much. You were definitely coming in tomorrow morning, though. Jungshin just didn’t need to know that until... tomorrow morning.

“Thanks again for coming,” Jungshin said. “I really appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome, boss,” Seungyoon replied with a small salute before heading off toward your car.

Part 3

Tagging @cramelot  @veryhotkpop  @daelicious-jongbulge  @askmalstwin  @elysjin @shinrin-yokeu @lovebuginlove @lost-girl-inc to let them know this has been posted! Readers, if you would like to be added to this list, let me know! Thank you!!

-Admin B

Master list // RULES // Submit a Request! // Read About the Admin

[previously-on-riverdale-imagines]

Focus

Warnings: none!

Summary: The reader and Jughead are asked to help Kevin by recording the making of ‘Carrie: The Musical’. 

Word Count: 2601

A/N: Hey guys! I managed to get my first one-shot out for this blog! WOO! I hope you guys enjoy this idea that I had inspired by Episode 2x18. Bear with me as it is my first time writing with these characters :)

“Carrie the Musical will be the most epic three-night-spectacular of your lives,” Kevin announced to the group, looking way too excited and enthusiastic for a Monday morning. “You all have to be part of it!”

At that moment, you and Jughead let out a simultaneous groan. Kevin, Betty, Veronica and Archie looked over at the pair of you.

“Oh, come on Y/N!” Betty exclaimed, “I understand Jug not wanting to sing and dance, but why not you? I’ve heard you sing to yourself, and you’re great!”

You just shook your head as Betty was speaking. Singing? Sure it was fun to do when the only audience you had to worry about was your shower curtain. But singing on stage with over 100 pairs of eyes on you was too far a stretch for your liking.

“I’m sorry guys, but I just wouldn’t do the story justice,” you sighed. “Plus, I’m afraid you’d get a whole lot of stage fright when I’m in that spotlight. You wouldn’t want that Kevin, now would you?”

“Don’t you think we all feel a bit nervous about performing to half of Riverdale?” Archie added plainly.

“Says you Archie! At least you and V have performed on a stage before, on several occasions might I add,” you exclaimed, frustrated that no-one really seemed to understand what you were feeling. Although you did glance your eyes over to Jughead and he seemed just as uncomfortable at the conversation as you.

“Enough!” Kevin cut in, “As much as I love you Y/N, I need to have the very best and most professional actors that I can to make ‘Carrie’ iconic again!”

“Great!” you breathed, “Problem sorted then.”

You heard Jughead give a small breath of laughter, only just audible enough for you to hear.

“But just hold on one moment, Y/N. You and Jughead can’t just not be involved with my impending masterpiece, even if you aren’t confident enough to share your musical gift… or lack thereof,” Kevin said, looking Jughead’s way, causing Jughead to just roll his eyes.

Kevin continued, “So it’s settled. You will both be assigned to documenting every behind-the-scenes action and music practice session, in order to keep this feeling alive forever!” Kevin looked like he was in a state of total euphoria, before quickly grabbing his books, that laid on the bench you were all seated at, and walking away.

You and the core four all looked around at one another, knowing that the next few weeks were going to be crazy.

It was the afternoon of the same day that Kevin had told you the way in which you would still be involved with ‘Carrie’, and the bell had just gone to alert you that is was time to head home and sleep the rest of the day away. You were packing your biology books into your bag, when you saw the glimpse of a beanie-wearing guy sit into the recently-empty seat next to you.

“So Y/N,” Jughead began with a sigh, “I guess we should try and talk about how we are going to manage this thing out. Otherwise I know Kevin will be giving us grief until we actually start filming.”

“Yeah I suppose we should,” you added. You made it sound so casual and laidback for someone whose heart felt like it was going a million miles an hour. Fortunately, you were the only one who knew your true feelings towards Jughead, because if anyone, especially Veronica, found out, you knew that they would bug you until you made a move. You weren’t ready to tell anyone. Not yet.

“How about we get out of this dingy prison they have so lovingly nicknamed ‘school’, and head to Pop’s to talk more?” you suggested, which got a laugh out of Jughead. He nodded, quickly hopping up from his seat, and gesturing for you to link your arm with his. You knew that he was just being Jughead, but you couldn’t help your cheeks turn a light shade of red. You accepted the offer and wandered out the classroom and onward to Pop’s Diner.

It was a week after you met up with Juggie at Pop’s to discuss how you would negotiate sharing the role of documenting the entire process of creating ‘Carrie’. It was such a special afternoon, just you two alone, eating your go-to burgers and talking until the sun began to slip behind the treeline.

Rehearsals began this afternoon, after school, and you agreed to meet Jughead outside the school auditorium a few minutes before rehearsal was scheduled to start.

You were there way too early, that you waited a good 10 minutes before he turned up.

“Hey Y/N, have you been waiting here long?” he asked, before you shook your head.

The pair of you made your way inside the auditorium, taking a seat in the general audience seats. Jughead began to pull out two cameras from his bag, setting them down on the seat in between the both of you.

“Alright, so like we agreed, I’ll video,” he muttered as he continued to grab other cords and tidbits from his bag, “And you shall photograph what should be a ‘life-changing musical.’” He spoke in imitation of Kevin’s often over-the-top enthusiasm.

You gave a small laugh at the Southside Serpent, and picked up a camera, before quickly taking a photo of Jughead.

“Hey! Aren’t you supposed to be taking photos of anyone but me?” Jughead asked, confusion and laughter in his tone.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Jughead Jones,” you responded, smiling as you brought the camera back up to your eyes and took another candid shot of him. When you viewed the photo you had just taken, you couldn’t help but feel your heart melt.

The next week felt like it went by extremely quickly, with rehearsals every day after school, and both days of the weekend. Even though you weren’t singing or dancing or doing any acting, taking photos of everyone that was performing made you feel exhausted just trying to keep up with them.

But while it was a tiring week, it was always worth it. You wish you could say it was because you were helping out one of your closest friends, Kevin, to document his artistry. But then you would be lying.

Spending every day and so many moments with Jughead was what made everything worth it. You had so many opportunities to chat and laugh, and even if you didn’t want to admit it, enjoy the musical performances together.

Although you were both on documenting protocol, they were often times that you weren’t with one another, as you may have been up on stage getting up-close footage of Cheryl as Carrie White, or the intimate love songs that Archie and Betty would sing to one another. In fact, you even captured a hilarious photograph of Veronica’s face of jealousy and pettiness when the pair were singing. Oh goodness, that girl was such a classic.

You actually hadn’t seen any of the footage that Jughead had taken during the week, as he insisted it was no good, and needed to be edited together in an interesting montage style video before being viewed by anyone.

It was nearing the end of the 9th day of rehearsals, and both you and Jughead were doing your own thing, capturing photos and video of the cast singing the finale song, until Kevin called cut to finish the scene.

“Thank you for all of your hard work everyone, I will see you tomorrow same time, same place!” Kevin yelled out to the cast on stage, and motioned for everyone to move out of the auditorium, before shouting again, “Jughead and Y/N! Can you please meet me over by the stage please?”

Jughead was already side of stage, so he slowly wandered out and sat on the edge of the stage, legs dangling down and lay his camera beside him. You walked quickly from the back of the auditorium to the stage, and stood beside Kevin, who was in front of Jughead.

“Alright guys,” Kevin began, “I thought since we are about half way through rehearsals now, I was wondering if I could see what you guys have documented so far! Then I can know if we need any more snaps of anything else.”

“Sure!” you said excitedly, knowing full well you were actually super proud of the photos you had taken, and knew that Kev would be excited to see them as well. But as you said that, Jughead quickly stood up.

“Actually sorry Kevin,” Jughead started to explain, “I actually would prefer it if you saw the end product of the video. It’s just that I don’t really think that it looks…”

Jughead was quickly interrupted by Kevin snatching away the camera from the stage, from where Jughead had left it, and began to turn it on.

“I’m sorry Jughead, but I will feel much better about the end product if I know what the footage is like,” Kevin explained.

Kevin pressed play on one of the videos taken a few days earlier, and Jughead jumped from the stage trying to stop him, but you quickly pushed him away, trying to see the video for yourself.

The video began showing Veronica starting her solo song, and began to pan to the backup dancers who were clicking to the beat. So far it was looking really great, and you saw Kev smile at the sight of his masterpiece.

The footage continued to go between Veronica and the backup dancers for a little while, before it began to pan around to the rows of seats where the audience would sit. Where you were sitting. The video began to zoom in closer and closer, till it was just you in the frame. You saw yourself snapping a few photos with the flash going off. Each time you took a photo, you saw yourself look down at your camera and smile at the photo you had just taken. It felt like you were being filmed for what felt like over a minute before the video finally ended.

Why would he film you? Was it just part of the documenting process? Maybe it was just that one video.

You looked over at Jughead for a response, and he was just sitting back on the stage, head in his hands. Kev looked slightly confused, but moved across to the next video and hit play.

This time the video started pointing at the ground for a few seconds, before it slowly turned upward towards side stage. It zoomed closer and closer to the person standing in the wings, with her camera flashing towards Archie and Betty who were singing their duet. And that person was you, again. You felt your heart pick up several paces faster and your mouth fall slightly ajar, as you watched the camera continue to focus on you. Even as you moved out of the wings and onto the main stage, the video continued to follow your every move, never once changing focus.

Kevin paused the video, looked at you briefly and then scrunched his forehead at Jughead, who was still looking towards the ground.

“Uh… Jughead…” Kevin stammered, “What’s going on?”

Jughead raised his head, and you saw a pain in his eyes, as he looked earnestly at Kevin to drop the subject. Kevin took a few moments to register the hint, and he walked over to Jughead and placed the camera beside him once again.

“I’m just going to head off,” Kev said awkwardly, before she shuffled quickly out of the auditorium.

You stood in silence, looking at Jughead for answers. He looked towards you and prepared himself to say something, but nothing came out.

You had a million thoughts running through your brain in those moments of silence. Why would he film you? Did he think you were a suspect in the Black Hood case? Was he trying to catch you in a moment of embarrassment? But you still had no clue whatsoever.

“Y/N,” Jughead finally said, interrupting your thoughts, “You were never meant to see them.”

You furrowed your brow, and exclaimed, “Well, why would you film me in the first place? Is this apart of some crazy scheme to humiliate me or something?” You felt a sense of anger in your tone.

“No, god no!” Jughead responded, shaking his head as he hopped off the stage and took a step towards you, “It’s just that…” He trailed off, stuck in his words.

“That what, Jug?” you asked softly.

“You fascinate me, Y/N. You light up any room you walk into, and I just wanted to see you over and over, even when we weren’t together,” he said, and then quickly spat out, “But not like in a creepy way! Sorry if it came out really creepy and stalkerish, because it’s not like that at all.”

You let out a small laugh, and you began to feel your eyes prick with happy tears. “No! It didn’t sound like that at all.”

Taking a step closer to Jughead, you began to feel your heart in your throat, begging to be released. You took a deep breath, before beginning to talk.

“Jug, I haven’t been able to tell you this, because I’ve felt so certain that it would end in rejection. But, you are just always on my mind, and I feel so warm and safe with you, and I just couldn’t imagine my life without you and I…”

Your sentence was interrupted by the feeling of a pair of lips pressing against your own. Jughead slowly pulled his lips away from yours, but still kept his head close.

“You are so beautiful, Y/N,” he whispered, and you couldn’t help but beam from ear to ear, “And for the record, all those things you said about me, I feel the same for you.”

You didn’t hesitate to return the kiss that he had given you a few moments earlier. It lasted many moments longer than before, and you could feel Jughead begin to smile during the kiss. You didn’t want this moment to end. It was everything you could have asked for, and more.

Finally, you began to lift your lips from his, and you stood up straight again, turning your gaze to the camera that still laid on the stage.

“You know,” you began, “We’re going to have to spend a lot more time actually filming the musical, otherwise at the end of all of this, Kevin will be in complete outrage.”

He gave a laugh, and nodded. “Yeah, I kind of dropped the ball on that one there. But since I won’t be seeing you through the lens of the camera as much anymore, maybe we could debrief after each rehearsal, you know, for the sake of the musical.”

You gave a small laugh at Jughead, whose demeanour seem lighter than usual now, and nodded along, “Mhmm, sure. I guess if it’s for the sake of the musical, then we must.”

Jughead walked over to the stage, grabbed his camera and walked to where his bag was laying, before slinging it over his shoulder. He then reached out his hand towards you, with a gleam of joy in his eyes. You gladly grabbed onto it, and slowly made your way out of the auditorium.

You didn’t really know where you were going to end up, but you figured it was likely it would be a booth at Pop’s.You both had a lot to discuss… oh, about the musical of course…

[danfanciesphil]

Give Me A Try (New Chapter)

Gay Instagram Model/Bartender Phan AU Part 3

(Part One)

(Part Two)

(Read on Ao3!)

Dan’s in the middle of his break, scrolling through his phone, when a text notification appears at the top of his screen. He drops his bagel into his lap, cursing.

The text is from Phil. He doesn’t know any other Phil’s, so it has to be AmazingPhil, texting him, inexplicably.

He clicks the notification, eyes wide, simultaneously scooping up the bagel bits that have fallen onto his knees.

From: Phil To: Dan im in makeup for a weird photoshoot for some korean clothing brand and they just put loads of silver goo in my hair to make it chromey

As Dan is reading the message, searching between the lines for a reason Phil might be telling him this information, another text pings through.

From: Phil To: Dan whoops, i kinda meant to send that to PJ. but hey, if you’re interested, here’s a pic of me with ‘Kpop Idol Silver Hair Paste’ in lol xx

From: Phil To: Dan [image]

The phone slips from Dan’s fingers, clattering through his legs to the floor of the staff room. Phil has sent him a selfie. An un-edited, un-Instagrammed photo of his breathtaking face, up close. Sure, there’s a weird silvery goop in his usually raven hair, but still. Gingerly, Dan retrieves the phone, a small, strangled sound escaping from his throat as he surveys the image in front of him.

It makes a little more sense now that Phil has informed him that he had actually mistakenly texted the original message, but did the guy really have to follow up with a photo? He must, surely, be aware of Dan’s crush. He witnessed the brunt of Dan’s obsessive stalking in person on his phone, after all.

Bagel entirely forgotten, Dan just stares down into the pixelated blue of Phil Lester’s eyes, wondering how to respond, and if he even should. Deciding eventually that it would be rude not to, Dan shakily types out something he hopes is vaguely witty.

From: Dan To: Phil hahaha wow :’) kpop? more like kpoop. (it looks like bird poop, sorry dude.) x

From: Phil To: Dan hahaha it does ur so right. and if you think thats bad you should see the outfits… xx

Settling back into his chair, Dan bites his lip. As he thinks of a potential response, his eyes wander over to the spot, just to the right of him, where he and Phil had stood not long ago, when it had seemed like maybe, possibly, Phil might’ve…

But obviously that’s absurd. 

Dan’s wishful thinking had clearly driven him to the point of hallucination, because the very notion that Phil Lester, AmazingPhil, the famous Instagram model, would ever have looked at Dan as anything more than a random bartender, is laughable.

Dan sighs to himself, then smirks. Well, just because he has no chance, doesn’t mean he can’t utilise his semi-connection to the celebrity to get some behind-the-scenes footage of his fave.

From: Dan To: Phil well now i have to see x

There’s a noticeable pause, and Dan wonders, panicking vaguely, if he may have pushed too far. Is it a little much to ask this of Phil? Maybe he just won’t respond, and Dan will have to quit his job forever, or maybe just spend his shifts on red alert that Phil will wander into the bar, and hide from him if he does-

He texts back.

From: Phil To: Dan [image]

From: Phil To: Dan hot, right? xx

For two long, uninterrupted minutes, Dan is frozen. Then, he lets out a muffled groan of frustration. The photo Phil sent is a full body shot taken by someone else; he’s dressed in an asymmetrical long white t-shirt with several long rips through the chest, some bright pink camouflage trousers, and a shiny silver puffer jacket with a black fur-lined hood. The outfit is a complete disaster, but it doesn’t matter in the slightest. His chest is visible through the slits in the tee; having seen it twice now IRL, Dan is drawn to the slivers he can see. The trousers make his eyes pop, and the jacket matches the silver streaked through his hair.

His pose is casual, feet apart, smirking at the camera, with his hands gesturing to his body as if to say ‘see what i mean?’. If he’d posted this on his Instagram, Dan gets the feeling he’d have saved it to his camera roll anyway, maybe even made it his phone background.

Dan’s done that with a few of his favourite photos of Phil in the past. He won’t even dwell on the time when Phil posted a photo of himself in the bath and Dan, in a semi-sleep-deprived fit of insanity, printed the photo out and stuck it on his wall.

Tyler came over once, weeks later, saw the photo taped above Dan’s bed, and tore the thing down. He’d told Dan, quite rightly, to stop being such a creep and keep his crazed obsessive behaviour to social media like everyone else.

“Who even has physical photos these days?? You’re like a fucking serial killer!”

Dan chuckles at this memory. He’s glad for Tyler, sometimes, even if he’s only good for keeping Dan’s stalkerish behaviour within the realms of normalcy.

Belatedly, he realises it’s been over five minutes and he still hasn’t responded to Phil. Also, his break is close to being over.

From: Dan To: Phil woww. please, phil of the future, tell me what life is like in 2087 x

From: Phil To: Dan stawwp. i keep laughing out loud at what ur saying and now the designer is sending me death glares :’’’D xx

Trying hard to ignore the fact that his dorky jokes are apparently literally making Phil ‘lol’, Dan checks the time, and sighs, typing out another message.

From: Dan To: Phil is the designer a martian? or maybe secretly one of those reptile-people? maybe skin him just to be safe. also my break is over so i gtg. have fun on set of NASA’s moonlanding recreation x

From: Phil To: Dan aww ur at work too? that sux. i forgot that u work at night lol. hope u stay dry this evening ;) xx

From: Dan To: Phil speaking of… why are u at work? isnt it kind of late for a photoshoot? x

From: Phil To: Dan well its 8am here so no haha xx

From: Dan To: Phil where are you? x

From: Phil To: Dan seoul :) hence the… unusual fashion lol xx

Dan’s eyebrows shoot up his forehead. He stands from his chair, throws his half eaten bagel in the trash, and looks around himself. He’s in the staff room - a small, dusty space with a row of falling apart lockers, a couple of chairs and a small table. There’s a hook on the wall which holds a load of unused aprons, and a rusty heater for when it’s especially cold.

He’s about to go back out to serve a load of rowdy customers some overpriced cocktails, then mop a dancefloor sticky with sweat, alcohol, and whatever other liquids might have found their way there. Then, he’s going to go back to his crummy flat way across in Kemptown, unfold his sofabed, and fall asleep to Netflix.

Phil, on the other side of the world in Korea, is having his hair, makeup and wardrobe done by professionals. He’s being treated like a celebrity, no doubt, and pampered excessively. Later, he’ll receive high-definition, professional photographs of himself looking gorgeous, and post them to his Instagram, where millions of people will tell him how stunning he looks.

Dan sighs to himself. How the other half lives.

*

The following day, Dan wakes up to find that Phil has updated his Instagram story, and posted the photo with the silver goo in his hair. The same one he’d sent to Dan. The caption reads:

Not sure silver hair was a good idea! The designer was going for Kpop, but ended up with Kpoop… can’t wait to show you guys the photos from this shoot! xx

Two things cross Dan’s mind.

First, Dan can now officially state that he had a sneak-peek at an official AmazingPhil photo before it was posted.

Second, the bitch totally stole his joke.

He smiles to himself ruefully, then decides to leave a comment. There’s no way that Phil will even see it - he’s never seen any of Dan’s others, or at least Dan sincerely hopes he hasn’t, as they’re mostly things like ‘choke me’ or ‘slap me round the face with your yaoi hands dad’.

Okay, maybe he tends to leave those sorts of comments when he’s less than sober.

This time, Dan just taps out a simple:

danisnotonfire: joke stealing is a low form of theft phil smh ;)

Still smiling to himself, Dan rolls over onto his side, and settles in to watch Phil’s story. The stories are usually long, silly, and full of adorable clips of Phil being clumsy and cute. As expected, this one is no exception. It’s a tour of Phil’s hotel room in Seoul, which is very posh.

Phil exclaims over the origami hand towels on his bed, the robe provided for him in the wardrobe, and the multiple options on the ‘disco shower’ as he calls it. Just as Dan is marvelling at the panoramic shot Phil has filmed of his view from the balcony, a notification pings at the top of his screen.

amazingphil replied to your comment: joke stealing is…

Dan sits bolt upright in bed, the sheets falling off him. He runs a hand through his messy hair, eyes wide. He clicks the notification before it disappears, heart pounding.

Oh no, oh no, oh no. Dan hadn’t intended for him to actually see. What if Phil thinks he’s being rude? He doesn’t actually mind Phil stealing his stupid joke about the hair goo. It’s an honour, if anything, that Phil finds his dumb joke good enough to post as a caption millions of people will read.

Heart thrumming, Dan finds the response Phil left.

danisnotonfire: joke stealing is a low form of theft phil smh ;)

amazingphil: @danisnotonfire aha i was kinda hoping you wouldn’t see ;D

Another notification pings at the top of his screen.

amazingphil started following you

“Holy shit,” Dan says to nobody.

amazingphil liked your photo

“Fuck,” Dan squeaks, clutching his pillow for support. “Stop it Phil, I’m gonna have a heart attack.”

Curious, Dan clicks the last notification, wondering which photo it was that Phil pressed the little heart for. To his surprise, it’s a selfie, one he took at work around a month ago. He took it during a lull between serving, if he remembers correctly. The lighting hadn’t been awful when he was doing his hourly fringe check in his phone camera, so he’d snapped a pic. It’s nothing special, just a moody expression and a wash of pink lighting across one half of his face.

amazingphil commented on your photo

amazingphil: nice pout ;) xx

Dan falls back into the pillows, mind obliterating itself into a thousand, tiny pieces.

*

Over the next few weeks, Dan has several text conversations with Phil. They’re usually started by Phil himself, who will - out of what Dan assumes is boredom - sometimes send him a random meme, a musing about his surroundings, or a selfie. For obvious reasons, Dan prefers the latter.

No matter how many times Phil reaches out via text, the surreality of it never fails to send Dan’s mind freewheeling. It always knocks the wind out of his lungs, it always makes him stop dead in his tracks, and it always leaves him struggling to recover for the next few hours. Whenever this happens at work, Tyler never fails to tease him mercilessly.

“Whoops! Please excuse him, sir, his mind has been blended by a single text from his crush,” Tyler tells a customer the fifth time Dan drops a glass behind the bar.

Dan scowls at his friend, but doesn’t try to defend himself. It’s true, after all. One text from Phil has him behaving like a moron. He becomes physically inept, unable to make the simplest drink.

One night, after the bar has closed, Dan and Tyler are cleaning up.

“So when’s he gonna stop torturing you over text and come sweep you off your beer-drenched tootsies?”

Dan rolls his eyes at this. “He’s not, Ty. He’s a rich and famous superstar, and I’m clearing up puke for the third day in a row.”

Dan wrinkles his nose as he continues mopping up the patch of vomit. He’s suspicious at this point; three days in a row is unusual. Is the same person coming in each night and spewing their guts all over the dance floor out of spite? Perhaps it’s some sort of hate crime.

“It’s like a Cinderella story!” Ty exclaims, pirouetting around his broom. “Except it’s gay, which makes it even better.”

Dan scoffs at him. “I’m pretty sure fairytales don’t involve stalking someone over social media and having them find out. He’s just taking pity on me because he saw that first night that I’m a fan.” Dan dunks the mop back in the bucket, turning to Tyler. “Besides, I’m pretty sure he has a boyfriend.”

Tyler sucks in a scandalised breath. “What! Who?”

Dragging the mop back to the supply closet, Dan laughs. “Remember the drunk guy he came with? The one who gave me a lovely Rainforest shower?”

“Him?”

Dan sighs, locks the cupboard, and nods. He digs into his pocket for his phone, and brings it over to show Tyler the photo of Phil and Charlie kissing. Matt, the security guard wanders over to see as well, letting out a low whistle.

“He’s a nonce if he thinks that guy’s behaviour was attractive,” Matt says. “He puked ‘soon as I got him out the door that night. All over the pavement.”

Dan looks at Matt, tilting his head in interest. “He did?”

Tyler plucks the phone out of Dan’s hand, zooming into the photo to have a better look, a frown on his face.

“Yep, your friend there came out, called him an Uber and sent him off,” Matt says. “Doubt pukey there would’ve made it home without him.”

“Nice guy,” Dan mutters, cheeks warm.

“This is staged,” Tyler announces abruptly.

“What?”

“Look,” he says, bringing the phone back over for Dan to see.

He zooms in on the crux of the kiss, right onto Phil’s face. Dan grimaces.

“Ty, I don’t want to see-”

“Shut up and look at his face,” Tyler interrupts, grabbing Dan’s chin and angling it towards the phone. “See how his lips are puckered? All stiff and pointed, like he’s kissing his grandma. And his eyes are open.”

“He’s looking at the camera!”

“Nah, Tyler’s right mate,” Matt says. The gum he’s chewing is making gross squishy sounds right in Dan’s ear as he leans over to look. “He looks awkward as hell.”

Dan narrows his eyes at the photo, trying to see what the others see.

“Besides, didn’t you say he hated that guy?” Tyler asks, clicking off the photo.

Dan tuts, snatching his phone back. “Well, apparently he was just being nice to compensate for the fact his kissing buddy covered me in sugary cocktail.”

He makes the smart decision to step away from this preposterous conversation before he does something stupid. Like allow either of these morons to give him hope that Phil is actually single.

Not that Phil being single would even matter.

“Or he was making it clear that he’s available!” Tyler calls after him as Dan stalks over to the staff room. “He whipped his shirt off for you twice and gave you his number. Do you think he’d do that if he had a boyfriend?”

“Drop it, Ty!” Dan calls back, shutting the staff room door behind him.

He will not let himself fall into the trap of daring to believe he could get someone as gorgeous, as hilarious, as pure and… amazing, as Phil Lester. 

He won’t.

*

This is a good philosophy, in theory.

In practise, it turns out to be a lot more difficult. Dan finds this out to his cost when Phil strolls into Habenero the following Friday with Charlie Hickory at his side. Dan’s stomach sinks as soon as he sees the pair, the butterflies that appear each time Phil so much as acknowledges exploding into dust the moment he registers who Phil is here with.

Phil makes a beeline for the bar, a big smile on his face as he sees Dan. Warily, Dan smiles back, very aware that he is not exactly Charlie’s biggest fan.

“Dan!” Phil sings, chipper as ever.

Blushing already, Dan waves an awkward hand. He will never, he’s sure, get used to hearing his name on Phil Lester’s lips. “Hi. You’re back.”

“Of course! This is my local hangout now,” Phil says, winking. “Great cocktails, cute bar staff, crazy Bingo nights… this place has got it all.”

“Some people might not agree with you about the cocktails,” Dan can’t help himself saying, glancing at Charlie.

Charlie shuffles awkwardly on the spot. “Right,” he says, casting a look at Phil. They share a look that seems loaded with something Dan is not privy to, and then Charlie sighs, turning to Dan. “I wanted to, uh, apologise. About last time. Totally not cool of me to… tell you off like that. I was wasted.”

For an awkward moment, Dan waits for the actual word ‘sorry’ to leave Charlie’s mouth. It becomes obvious fairly swiftly that the dude feels he’s already said enough, so Dan just gives him a tight smile, and clears his throat.

“Oh, yeah man,” he says. “Let’s just… move on, I guess.”

If Charlie won’t say sorry, then Dan’s sure as hell not going to say he forgives him.

“So, drinks?” Phil asks, seeming to sense the taut atmosphere. “Maybe not cocktails?”

Dan can’t help the splutter of laughter, but Charlie shoots a dagger-like glare Phil’s way. It makes Dan’s lip curl; how could anyone be angry with Phil, of all people?

“Maybe some beers?” Dan suggests, teeth clenched. “We have a load of craft beers, or if you’re more into spirits I could make you guys a-”

“I’ll have a vodka and light tonic, no ice,” Charlie interrupts. “A double. If you use regular tonic, I will know.”

“Charlie,” Phil hisses under his breath.

They exchange another loaded look, and again Charlie sighs, turning to Dan with a fake smile. “Please.”

Swallowing the urge to roll his eyes, Dan nods, then gladly turns his attention to Phil. “And for you?”

“Oh,” Phil says, like it’s only just occurred to him that he needs to order as well. “God, I’m so bad at deciding, err…”

As he’s dithering, Charlie sighs. “Are you cool to get these, Phil? I’m gonna go find us a table.”

“You don’t wanna dance?”

“Not in the mood.”

Phil nods, obviously disappointed. “Okay, yeah, I’ll meet you in the back.”

With that, Charlie is gone, slipping into the crowd. The look of distaste must be more evident on Dan’s face than he thinks, because Phil laughs at it.

“I know,” Phil says. “But he does have a few… marginally amiable qualities.”

‘Why have you chosen to be with someone that’s marginally amiable when you’re so great,’ is what Dan wants to ask. Instead, he simply shrugs, deciding to change the subject.

“Have you decided on a drink yet? I’d better get on with making his low-cal dishwater.”

Phil laughs a little, then leans forwards, his smile deepening as he leans across the bar. “Surprise me.”

Something sparks a roman candle in Dan’s stomach, and his skin prickles with the heat it creates. He drags his eyes free of Phil’s with some difficulty, nodding, and turns to make the drinks.

He prepares Phil a ‘PopQueen’ cocktail, which is one of their most popular. It’s inspired by popcorn, along with the trio of Pop Queens that rule the gay music scene: Gaga, RiRi, and Bey. The moscato vodka base is made from Italian grapes to represent Gaga’s heritage, the spiced rum is a shoutout to Bey’s favourite drink, and Riri comes in in the form of a smoky splash of passion fruit bitter. The rest is topped up with popcorn syrup, lemonade, a sprinkle of caramel popcorn kernels, and as many sparkly cocktail sticks as Dan can fit in.

He explains the whole concoction to Phil as he presents it, a little smug because he knows this is an impressive looking cocktail. It’s probably his favourite one to make; the Viniq shimmery moscato vodka makes the drink swirl and shimmer - always exceptionally pretty.

Sure enough, Phil’s mouth drops open at the sight of it. “Okay wow,” Phil says, chuckling. “I’m gonna get drunk tonight, aren’t I?”

“If that’s your plan, this should definitely help you on your way,” Dan says, laughing too. “I wouldn’t recommend having a second if you want to remember your evening.”

Phil leans forwards to take a sip of the PopQueen, moaning around the straw, much to Dan’s dismay. He plucks one of the popcorn pieces off and eats it, eyes closed. In related news, Dan struggles not to fall to the floor. “Dan, you are an artiste,” Phil says. “Popcorn is my all time favourite food.”

“Oh, wow, that’s... lucky, I guess,” Dan stammers, a swell of pride surging up into his chest. “Glad you like it.”

“So, how much?”

“Oh, on the house.” Dan smiles, sliding the cocktail across the bar along with Charlie’s vodka tonic. “I feel bad for not letting you in on the forfeit for Bingo last time.”

The look on Phil’s face softens into something so sweet Dan can taste sugar on his tongue. 

“You don’t have to do that,” Phil says softly.

“It’s fine, really,” Dan assures him, all but sliding his elbows across the bar towards him. “I insist.”

A twitch in the corner of Phil’s mouth, and then he’s leaning across the bar. It happens slowly, but Dan still manages to be caught off guard. One moment, he’s watching, bemused, as Phil inches towards him, and the next there’s a light press of paper-soft lips to his cheek. A scratch of stubble grazes over Dan’s skin as Phil leans away.

“Thanks,” Phil tells him, smiling. “You’re sweet, Dan.”

And then he’s turning away, drinks in hand, slipping into the mass of people.

*

For the next few hours, Dan hopes for Phil to return to the bar for another round. He waits, eagerly, for this moment to come. Instead, Charlie is the one who brings his and Phil’s glasses back over, and waves to flag down Dan’s attention.

He nods in acknowledgement, finishing up the drinks order he’s in the middle of, and sidling over to Charlie. He forces a strained smile.

“Same again?”

“Yeah,” Charlie says, digging out his phone. “And a couple of vodka shots.”

He says nothing else, eyes glued to his phone screen. Dan waits for a moment before moving off, eyes stuck to Charlie’s face. He’s the kind of gorgeous that shouldn’t exist in real life. Unblemished, tanned skin. Clean, dark stubble, lacing his perfect, razorblade jawline. His hair is a swoop of glossy mahogany; even the cut of it looks expensive.

Charlie’s eyes flick up to Dan’s, obviously questioning why he’s staring, so Dan nods, embarrassed, and hurries to make the drinks. From a superficial standpoint, it’s obvious why Phil is with Charlie. Obviously, in Dan’s eyes, Phil is the most attractive man on the planet, but that’s just because he’s Dan’s type. Even he can tell that Charlie is objectively a beautiful human being.

It’s just a shame about everything below the surface level.

Dan pours the two shots Charlie ordered. “All together it’s twenty pounds, please.”

Charlie snorts, then pockets his phone at last. “Figures you’d give Phil the discount.”

He pulls out a twenty and slaps it on the counter.

“Sorry, I can’t give you guys free drinks all night.”

Charlie just stares back at him, a faint, knowing smile caught on his dusty pink lips. One of this thick eyebrows is slightly quirked, sliding an irritation under Dan’s skin. “Listen, Danny, is it?”

“Dan,” he grits.

“Dan,” Charlie says, leaning across the bar. “A little advice, yeah? Don’t be so transparent. It just comes across as pathetic.”

He downs both the shots in quick succession, baffling Dan, who is frozen, mortified, to the spot. Before his brain can thaw enough to stammer out some witty rebuttal, Charlie has swept the drinks off the counter, and is moving away.

Cheeks burning, Dan turns around, trying to calm his boiling blood. He squeezes his fists together, counting to ten, the way he makes himself after all encounters with dickhead customers.

“Hey, sweetcheeks, can we get some drinks over here, please?”

With a deep sigh, Dan unclenches his fists, and turns to the next customer.

*

At around one in the morning, Dan runs to the bathroom for a minute, and on his way, he sees Charlie. He’s against the wall of the club, near the DJ booth. There’s a muscular, dark-skinned man pressing him there; their faces are close. Dan can’t stop, he’s left Tyler and Dodie to the mercy of the drunks in their worst state - things get rowdy an hour before closing - and he needs to get back there. So, instead, he simply tucks the image away in his mind, to think about later on.

That man, leant against Charlie in a less-than-innocent seeming stance, was certainly not Phil, after all. As he exits the bathroom, he notices that Charlie is gone, as is whoever was with him.

*

At 1:55am, the lights come on. As usual, an enormous groan chants out of the crowd of patrons on the dance floor, followed by a few pairs awkwardly stepping out of the shadows, some squinting and eye-covering, and the slow, jelly-legged walk to the coat-check area.

“I think I just saw some guy getting up off his knees in the corner,” Tyler says despondently. “Shotgun not mopping the floor tonight.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Dan sighs. “On the dance floor? Really? Why can’t they suck each other off in the bathroom like normal people?”

“Oh, there were definitely people doing that in one of the stalls about an hour ago,” someone says to Dan’s right. The voice, for some reason, sends the hairs up on the back of Dan’s neck.

He turns, wondering when Matt’s voice got so low, only to find that Phil has perched himself on one of the bar stools, the dregs of his cocktail still in a glass in front of him. For a moment, Dan is too stunned at the sight of him to reply. Then, he registers that the lights are on, and cringes, knowing he likely looks frightful. Phil, of course, looks radiant as ever even under the harsh fluorescents, apart from a faint tiredness, visible in the dark circles underneath his eyes.

“You’re still here,” Dan comments. “I thought you guys had gone.”

“Charlie left,” Phil says, looking away from Dan. “Or I assume he did.”

Out of sight, Tyler catches Dan’s eye, making an obscene gesture with his hands before snickering and running off in the direction of the supply closet. Dan just glares after him, pink-cheeked, and turns back to Phil.

“Wait, he left without telling you?”

One of Phil’s shoulders moves towards his neck, then falls. “He does that.”

“Wow that’s… kind of shitty.”

As soon as the words are out, Dan regrets them. He can’t help but think of Charlie’s comment from earlier; it rings in his ears as if the guy had screamed it at him.

Don’t be so transparent. It just comes across as pathetic.

He was right, probably, though Dan had hated hearing it. He should stop being such a suck-up. It must be awkward and cringey for Phil to see Dan so obviously smitten.

Still, Phil throws him a faint smile. “It’s cool. He’s just a flaky guy. A bit of a princess. He grew up rich, so he’s always been a bit superficial. I’m trying to wring the bourgeoisie out of his blue blood.”

Dan snorts with laughter. “In my experience, you can’t filter the dickishness out of people very easily.”

There’s a silence, then. Phil regards him with a faintly curious expression.

“Maybe I’m wrong,” Dan says once the silence gets too uncomfortable. He shrugs, grabbing the rag from his back pocket and starting to wipe down the bar. “I don’t know the guy, really. I’ve just had a couple of unfortunate experiences with him.”

“Oh no,” Phil says, face falling. “What did he do this time?”

Dan laughs, bitterly. “Don’t worry about it. He’s just a little mouthy, is all.”

“Ugh, I’m sorry.”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

“So, when do you get to leave this place?” Phil asks, playing with his glass. He still hasn’t drunk the remainder of his cocktail. “Or do you sleep here?”

“On weekdays, the bar closes at two, so I get out of here at around two-thirty.”

“Christ,” Phil mutters. “And I thought my job was long hours.”

A laugh bursts out of Dan’s throat, but he covers it as best he can with a cough, turning away. Busying himself with ‘dusting’ some liquor bottles, Dan tries to compose a straight face. Is Phil honestly going to try and argue that his job is difficult? When was the last time that guy ever grabbed a broom, or handled someone’s sticky change?

In a minute, Dan is going to go into the corner of the dance floor, get down on his knees, and clean up some randomer’s come. A few weeks ago he saw Phil swanning about a five-star hotel in Korea. If AmazingPhil’s worst complaint is that he had to have a few questionable outfit choices put on him, and some silvery goo in his hair, then he needs a reality check.

Nevertheless, Dan knows that he can’t say any of this. Not only would he never dream of insulting Phil Lester, but it’s pointless to try and explain the differences between classes to someone in a privileged position. They’ve usually forgotten how to understand.

“Are you close by, at least?” Phil asks, interrupting Dan’s thoughts.

Dan turns back to him. “Kemptown. It’s half an hour’s walk, more or less.”

“You walk?” Phil asks, eyebrows skyrocketing towards his quiff. “At two in the morning?”

“Five in the morning on weekends,” Dan confirms, hiding a smile at Phil’s surprise. “It’s okay, you get used to it. Besides, it’s mostly just drunk idiots chugging cans of cider and threatening to run into the sea. Not too scary.”

Despite Dan’s reassurance, the look of pity and concern on Phil’s face doesn’t subside. After a while, Dan turns from it, feeling awkward. He busies himself with clearing away the last of the empty glasses, yawning into the crook of his elbow. Tonight was rough.

“You should crash at mine,” Phil blurts.

Sure he must have misheard, Dan faces Phil slowly. “Um, what?”

“If you’re exhausted, I mean.” Phil fidgets, fingers tapping against his glass. “Like, on the nights you can’t face walking all the way home, you can totally just sleep on my sofa.”

Speechless, Dan simply stares.

“The couch is pretty comfy,” Phil continues in a ramble, not meeting Dan’s eye. “And my flat is just up the road, literally like a minute away. I’m not saying, y’know, come over every night, ‘cause obviously… that might be an issue, but you can absolutely stay round on, say, Saturday nights when you finish later. That wouldn’t be a problem.”

He’s just being nice. That’s Dan’s only explanation. Phil Lester is a sweetheart of a person, and he got so worried about the hypothetical danger involved in Dan’s walks home, that he offered something big, even though he didn’t really mean it.

Dan is a stranger to him. He needs to decline the polite offer, and let Phil off the hook he accidentally created to string himself up on.

So, Dan forces out a small chuckle, and says: “Oh, no, it’s really fine. Thanks for the offer, that’s really good of you, but I quite like the walk. It’s a nice come down after a busy night.”

Phil nods, chewing his lip. He looks unconvinced. “I’m not just saying it, though.” His voice has dropped to a lower tone. “Like tonight… you’re so tired, I can see it. Just grab some sleep at mine before you head back across town.”

As soon as Phil mentions it, the quilt of his own exhaustion flops around his shoulders, dragging Dan’s bones towards the floor. He tries to picture the stumble back to his crummy flat in Kemptown, loathing each imaginary step.

“You barely know me,” Dan says - one last attempt at refusal.

Sensing he’s won, Phil smiles very slightly, then downs the rest of his cocktail at last. “I don’t know if it’s just me, Dan, but I have this feeling that we’re going to be good friends.”

(Part 4!)

[theraistlinmajere]

THE “”GOTHIC”” REC LIST

Edited for my own use.

LET’S START WITH THE GATEWAY DRUG BOOK

1. Flowers in the Attic (VC Andrews): Published in 1979 and technically considered contemporary Gothic. The style closely resembles a lot of “original” Gothic fiction I’ve read, but the themes, story arc and style are distinctly contemporary and very psychological. Gets a bad rap because it’s over the top insane and averagely written (which most Gothic is, tbh). Flowers is light reading, and I think it’s a good gateway drug into heavier Gothic. Has several sequels but stands alone as well. I wish I could call this Victorian-inspired Gothic but honestly it’s just knockoff Victorian in a contemporary setting. If you don’t enjoy this book, it probably means you don’t like the over the top insanity and average writing. Skip it if you like!

1.5. But if you do like it, I hear My Sweet Audrina is pretty good. All of VC Andrews and her ghostwriters are like a hellhole people sometimes don’t escape tbh it’s a raging aesthetic disaster down there.

Note: I have a strong suspicion that “contemporary” Gothic published between 1965 and 1989 will eventually have its own movement name; you will see a decent amount of it on this list.

THE VICTORIAN GOTHIC PART OF THE LIST Most of these are available for free online due to copyright law being born late or whatever. 2. Carmilla (Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu): Considered the first English vampire story (Germans invented the European vampire allegedly), and published in 187…9? 1871? Something like that. A novella. Arguably a same-sex romance (VERY arguably), but can also be read as a close friendship. The writing is good, but not the absolute greatest I’ve ever read. The real strong point here is the imagery and the dawn of the English vampire. Great Halloween read; I read it almost every autumn. 3. “The Trifecta,” according to Gothic fans: Dracula (Bram Stoker), Frankenstein (Shelley), and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (Swift & Stevenson): First mainstream vampire, original English monster movie fuel, and the dawn of psychological fiction. Shelley’s the best writer out of all of them but she’s a Romantic and I’m sort of biased against Romantics. She’s a precursor to true Victorian Gothic. Dracula is still one of the creepiest books I’ve ever read and it’s the only one in the trifecta I really really love (and finished).

Note: If, by any chance, you find yourself seriously obsessed with vampires at any point in time, please consult me for an extended list of vampire fiction because I have a shit-ton of it in my reading history and left most of it out so vampires wouldn’t clutter this list lmao.

4. Edgar Allan Poe, Completed Works. The Cask of Amontillado, The Masque of the Red Death, The Pit and the Pendulum, and The Tell-Tale Heart are all notable. His poetry is lovely–Annabelle Lee and The Raven are most culturally significant. Just solid and wonderful work that I like a lot but haven’t explored in a lot of detail. Will appeal to your interest in darkness imagery.

5. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Other Stories (Washington Irving): QUINTESSENTIAL HALLOWEEN READING. SPOOPY. WONDERFUL. I truly love this anthology. Will also appeal to your interest in darkness as a concept and a physical thing. 6. Nightmare Abbey (Thomas Love Peacock): an 1818 novel that makes fun of the Victorian Gothic movement. Hilarious, contains all the typical Victorian Gothic tropes and has the added benefit of actually falling into the Victorian Gothic movement ironically. Usually comes packaged with another novel called Crotchet Castle which is similar. 7. If, somehow, you haven’t had it with Victorian Gothic yet (and I got to this point, it happens, Victorian Gothic is a slippery slope)… Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell (Susanna Clarke): A really bizarre story behind how this was published, at least it is to me. Published in 2004, Over 10 years in the making and is written in the Victorian Gothic style but with a quirky and modern twist. The writer takes a page out of contemporary social commentary and includes pages-long footnotes, heads up (they’re funny and entertaining though). HUGE. You could kill a man with this volume. Excellent writing; I’m halfway through. I hear there’s time travel (?) and there are about ten thousand characters. Neil Gaiman is a fan. 8. The Phantom of the Opera (Gaston Leroux) is not technically Victorian (Technically Edwardian? Also French; I’m not familiar with French literary eras) but of course it has a huge following. I’ve read a little so far; I like the style and I think it’s culturally significant. You might want to read this because it’s heavily inspired by a French opera house, the Palais Garnier in Paris. Amber tells me she read literature in French to help sharpen her skills in the language; you may consider picking up an un-translated version of this? A BRIEF INTERLUDE FOR MORE CONTEMPORARY 9. Interview with the Vampire (Anne Rice): One of my favorite books of all time! Possibly the dawn of the romanticized vampire. Falls into that 70s contemporary Gothic bracket and is pretty amazingly written, but markedly more angst-ridden than anything else on the list (save for maybe Flowers). Lots of “what is evil?” and “what does immortality imply?” type speculation. Also gets a bad rap because Anne Rice made it big and haters are rife tbh it’s a very solidly built book in my opinion (BUT SUPER EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES). If you like this, continue with The Vampire Chronicles (The Vampire Lestat, Queen of the Damned, Prince Lestat, and about 8 others in between that concern minor characters). Lestat is one of my favorite fictional characters of all time. 10. Coraline (Neil Gaiman): Quick, cute, I found myself actually afraid for a little while despite the audience being middle grade readers?? I enjoyed it. The only Neil Gaiman on the list because his other work doesn’t impress me very much. 11. The Spiderwick Chronicles (Holly Black and Tony Diterlizzi): More middle-grade creepy aesthetic stuff. Cute modern fantasy stories, five volumes. I can read these books at twenty years old and still enjoy them (like Coraline)! The only good thing Holly Black has ever produced, in my opinion, though many people like her and her ~aesthetic.

11.5. Should you find yourself in the mood for more quick middle-grade aesthetic-y stuff, Pure Dead Magic (Debi Gliori) is really an adorable book with two sequels. Victorian Gothic tropes such as the creepy mansion, creatures in the dungeon, family drama, and Weird Newcomers are all present, but it’s set in modern times. One of the main characters is a hacker. Addams family-esque.

THE SURREAL-ISH FICTION PART OF THE LIST

Not true surreal fiction; these are contemporary surreal-inspired works. 12. The Bloody Chamber (Angela Carter): An anthology of short stories which retell fairy tales. Falls into the contemporary surrealism movement and is not traditionally considered Gothic, but this is definitely your aesthetic. Very quick read, very vivid imagery, lots of second-wave feminism and some brief eating disorder symbolism. Carter was a phenomenal writer! My favorite story is “The Lady of the House of Love"

12.5 (Just as a reminder since I’ve mentioned these) See also: Nights at the Circus (Carter) and Mechanique: A tale of the Circus Tresaulti (Valentine) for your interest in circus books!

13. The Palace of Curiosities (Rosie Garland), which I also rec’d before. Similar style to Chamber, similar themes. Both beautiful books. 14. Deathless (Catherynne Valente): Oh, Deathless. Technically contemporary lit, but hails to Russian Gothic (one of the earlier Gothic movements which I haven’t read much of). Retelling of about a million Russian folk tales. I could go on about this book for a thousand years. Stylistically similar to The Bloody Chamber as well, but far more poetic. (Very) structurally inferior to every other book on this list, but so heart-wrenchingly romantic you won’t notice or care on the first read. Visually breathtaking, absolutely the closest thing to death and the maiden imagery I’ve found in fiction. I’m fairly confident you’ll appreciate this one! Might as well read it to test my theory!! There’s controversy surrounding the fact that the writer is not Russian–something to be aware of. 15. The Enchanted (Rene Denfeld): TREAD WITH CAUTION. This is contemporary literary fiction (not Gothic) written from the pov of a death row inmate. Nominated for approximately a billion awards in 2014 (and won a few); high caliber of writing. Incredibly visceral, horrific, psychological imagery that was too much for me, though I still liked it. Short but dense–I had to take a two-day break to ward off the anxiety it caused. But you are darker~ than I so you might like it more!

THE SOUTHERN GOTHIC PART OF THE LIST 16. Beloved (Toni Morrison): Contemporary Southern Gothic. Incredibly creepy imagery, explores the connection between women’s issues and racial issues. Uses abortion and slavery as metaphors for each other. Gracefully written, but Southern Gothic (even contemporary) tends to be textually dense so it’s something to really think about as you read. 17. As I Lay Dying (Faulkner): “True” Southern Gothic. DENSE AS HELL but I think Beloved is a good precursor to Faulkner. A lot of almost comedic family drama, similar to Flowers in that sense, but very srs bsns nonetheless.

17.5. Basically all of Faulkner is considered Southern Gothic. He’s the father of Southern Gothic. If you enjoy this, you might also like Absalom! Absalom! and other such works. I loved As I Lay Dying but it’s possibly his easiest read, and while I love a good challenge I haven’t stepped up to this one yet.

Note: I use reading guides for all my classical works and Shakespeare, and I think there are good ones for Faulkner too, so that might be something to look into if you wanna vanish into this hell lol.

AN ADDENDUM: OTHER WRITERS

HP Lovecraft: Father of horror or whatever. Awful writer–anyone will agree. The guy had no command of language, but he’s known for over-the-top horror imagery that people really enjoy. Honestly I hate his writing so I haven’t bothered with much of it.

Oscar Wilde: If, by this point, you still want more Victorian-era writing, Wilde is here for you. Lots of social commentary, wrote basically one piece in the Gothic style (Chapter 16 of The Picture of Dorian Gray, my favorite novel), snarky as hell, incredibly gifted writer.

Neil Gaiman: Modern surreal in my opinion, sometimes called modern Gothic, well-loved and writes creepy things. I think he’s average because I’ve read too much Murakami (who does “modern surreal” way, way better) but many people really love him.

THE BLACKLIST Knockoff Gothic/Gothic themed things to avoid. I apologize if you like any of these okay ._.

The Grisha Trilogy (Leigh Bardugo): Contemporary YA, tries to be Russian Gothic and fails. Stick to Deathless. This book makes a mockery of Russian culture whereas at least Valente exhaustively researched her novel. Also doesn’t do romance very well.

The Night Circus (Morgenstern): What the hell is this book, tbh. 400 pages of obtuse and cliched imagery which you don’t have time for in your life. No plot. Two-dimensional characters, bad writing.

Those Across The River (Christopher Buehlman): Terrible. Just terrible.

[thehallofgame]

Review (Revisited): Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep

Release: 2010

My Rating: 8/10 (up from 7/10 in my original review)

Kingdom Hearts Review Series: 1/8

Review under the cut,

Author’s Note: Typically I try never to repeat games on my blog. However, when I posted my Birth By Sleep review it was actually an archived copy from back when I started reviewing games as an exercise in 2014 and I hadn’t actually played it since then. When 2018 began and I was choosing my review series for the year I thought long and hard about making Kingdom Hearts 2018′s series and ultimately decided against it. And then, between the fact the old computer I play Tomb Raider on (the series I chose instead) dying and needing new parts, Kingdom Hearts III -still- projected to come out this year, and my need to play the series beginning to end before Kingdom Hearts III comes out I caved. The good new here is I can go over this review, give it desperately needed edits and an updated opinion. I’ll also be reaping my just deserts via having to play all the Tomb Raiders along side the Kingdom Hearts games this year, on top of everything else I want to play. Playing this again has also allowed my to develop a route list of my favorite path through the game (how to juggle all three characters and make the timeline make to most possible sense). I’ll upload that the second I’ve got it digitized and formatted.

             When Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep was announced many of us didn’t stop to ask for details before rushing out to buy a PSP. It was a game that’s very existence promised so much: answers to lingering questions in the Kingdom Hearts series, a convenient starting point to newcomers and perhaps a fresh perspective on the series. Some of those expectations were delivered, some less so.

             Birth By Sleep rewinds the clock to about ten years before the events of the first game, putting the player in the shoes of three different Keyblade bearers, each with their own individual story. These three routes can be played separately or all at once.

              I purchased this game a week after release but it took me four years to finish for the first time. The game is structured in such a way that it encourages playing the three stories in sequence, but I didn’t enjoy the interweaving nature of the three character arcs until committing to playing through all three plotlines simultaneously. I preferred the game this way, but unfortunately there’s not an easy method of switching between save files. You can neither choose to load another character’s file in game nor easily return to main menu to do so. In fact the player must quit the game entirely and reboot it to do so.

             The three stories occur during the same time period, with each character experiencing different angles of the story. Playing all three at once generally establishes a better feel of a complicated story, but also highlighted continuity errors where character show up in the same place at once or take inconsistent amount of time to travel from one place to another.

             Additionally, rather than clarify the Kingdom hearts universe, the addition of Birth By Sleep serves mostly to complicate it by adding more layers to the mystery of what kingdom hearts is, who the keyblade wielders are (and just how MANY of them there even are/were) and who, precisely, has been masterminding all these evil plots that cause young heroes to set out. This said, the story is heartfelt and emotional, with emphasis on the power of friendship. If you’re a returning fan of Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy the game provides some fan service in the form of cameos by a good portion of Organization 13 and one Final Fantasy character. As always, the game also visits several Disney worlds, some Kingdom Hearts staples and others new. Their inhabitants make appearances, and occasionally your character will from a relationship with them that will allow them to D-link with the character, allowing new unique abilities.

             As the three stories are complete the game gives you an overall completion score. The more completion you amass, the more of the post end-game story you unlock, including an extra level that ties off the game’s story and leads into the rest of the series. Unfortunately, the ability to unlock all the post game content is tied directly to the difficulty setting of each completed path, as well as the completion of some truly arbitrary goals.

At first the game does a good job of keeping the worlds interesting and juggling the different characters so that you never feel like you’re repeating the same steps three times in a row. However in late game the levels begin to drag and there’s less variation between the story each character experiences in the same world. For some the game may begin to feel grindingly repetitive.

             It is not helped by the fact that unless one invests time in exploring the combat and crafting system the enemies can sometimes suddenly level hike, leaving the player frustrated. Basic combat and exploration mimics other kingdom hearts games with the player obtaining simple abilities like jump, dodge and attack that get expanded on as the game progresses. What is new, however, is that in addition to magic, there are combat abilities that can be activated at will. You scroll through a wheel on the left side of your screen and trigger commands with the triangle button. These abilities will level up and will then can be used in a crafting system to produce new commands. This is a large part of character growth and customization that does need to be managed.There is a in-game store that can supply new moves, but its prices quickly grow steep and the best moves are only revealed after crafting them or finding them in treasure chests on the games’s levels.

Some of the other features the game pushes are less helpful. The D-link system mentioned above takes the place of traditional summons. This is most useful early-game before the player’s list of commands is very long. D-linking fully restores HP and gives characters access to new abilities from the character they’re ‘linked’ with. Another feature, the command board, is a board game themed mini-game in which characters are used as game pieces and the points earned on the board become experience. This can be useful for leveling commands, but can become somewhat tedious and is luckily completely ignorable. Meanwhile, the Mirage Arena takes the place of the Coliseum in other Kingdom Hearts games. There, online or off, you can battle through tournament style events to earn experience or participate in some of the mini-games present throughout the game’s levels.

Combat makes up a large part of the core gameplay, and it’s fast paced and usually quite varied. Bosses present decent challenges without becoming too bad, unless the player has fallen under level (or under-crafted, as the case may be.) Shotlock commands allow the player to charge a special, crowd-clearing attack. Finally, the limit break system is generally fun and satisfyingly powerful. In later game it is even possible to limit break the limit breaks, which is even more fun. However, limit breaks also include special abilities and finishers that can become minor hindrances. This is usually related to being stuck in a limit break enemies that just spawned in are strong towards, or having to watch lengthy animations play out after all the enemies have already been destroyed.

It’s worth a quick note to mention Birth By Sleep is a game that encourages the player to install disc data to a memory card to reduce load time. An investment in a larger memory card for this purpose is highly recommended because the load times in Birth By Sleep are ubiquitous, and even with maximum amount of data installed, the game bogs down in acts as simple as opening the menu.

Graphically Birth By Sleep heavily recalls the other Kingdom Hearts games with its anime styling and bright, solid colors. This also helps cover up the PSP’s graphical limitations which only very rarely become apparent. The worlds perhaps tend toward small, especially as most areas are reused three times. Some worlds and stories are significantly more expanded than others, which can be a little awkward.

Birth By Sleep was an experience plagued with highs and lows. It answered some questions but smugly left players with many more, as is the series’ wont. Furthermore, the game has a decent story with power that’s hampered by confusion and redundancy, generally good pacing that sometimes ground to a sudden halt, and a feeling that the game wasn’t quite everything one was expecting. Like most other Kingdom Hearts games what this needed more than anything else was a thorough edit. Taken as a whole Birth By Sleep is a game you either forgive and love anyway or remain exasperated with forever. It is probably not the best entry point for new players which is a little disappointing in a prequel, but if you’re a longtime fan it’s definitely in need of a play. 

My opinions have softened somewhat on a second pass through the game, probably because now that I’m fore-armed with knowledge of plot twists the story makes more sense. That said, there is something rather stubbornly smug about how confusing the game’s story is, and it could have done more to welcome new players. Especially as it’s now been re-released onto more mass market systems. That said I still believe it’s a solid outing and on-par with Chain of Memories and 358/2 Days as must-play Kingdom Hearts Spin-Offs.

[thebattlesquare-blog]

Aldershot regional tournament report by Jamie Faulkner

Hey guys, this is my write up for the Aldershot regional I won on Sunday the 15thof April. I originally didn’t even intend to go because I only just got back from a holiday and I was still a little messed up from it in terms of my body clock but, I woke up really early Sunday so it gave me enough time to throw a bunch of jank cards together and attend.

I was on holiday with Josh Ge and Tobi Henriet which was amazing and fun. We didn’t get a huge amount of time to test because we were too busy enjoying Istanbul but we did manage to build a few decks. Mono earth was one of the first decks we built (because we just heard that mono earth came 1st and 2nd at some tournament in Japan) and I think we played like 3 games with the deck before playing more fun stuff. In fact, we only really built the deck to test the power of Kam’lanaut in the mirror. Tobi’s version was more aggressive with loads of 2 drop brave dudes and no board wipes whereas my version had Kam, Zodiark, Shantotto, and Cecil. Naturally, the bigger version of a deck usually wins in a mirror but we did find out that the Psycom wardens in my deck were actually really solid and we also found out that Kam’lanaut simply crushes games. Every time I played that card in the games we tested he just took over the game and I won fairly shortly after. After that discovery our holiday basically became a have fun, enjoy Istanbul, Play 1v1s in LoL and find broken decks abusing Kam. Very fun!

So, I go to bed on Saturday with the intention of just laying in and playing League of Legends all day, didn’t feel like I would have the energy to go to Aldershot so I didn’t bother preparing anything. I did send a message to my friend, Likey asking him if he was going and wanted a lift but he wasn’t so in my mind it was settled that I wouldn’t go. However, I wake up at like 5am for some reason and see a message from another friend, Pedro, asking me for a deck idea. I ask him if he’s going and he needed a lift so I decided since I woke up early I’ll have some fun and throw a deck together. All my cards were still in my suitcase that I hadn’t bothered to unpack yet so I kind of just picked a deckbox at random and it had the half built mono earth deck I had play tested about a week earlier. It seemed like a good idea. Super easy to play, didn’t really matter what cards I put in it as long as Kam was there and the deck was already half built. Here is the link to the deck that I ended up playing:https://ffdecks.com/deck/5788262270500864

There were only a few cards in there I knew I needed. The rest were pretty much just what I found before I Left.

Kam: Best card in the deck? Not sure, Maybe. He takes over games on his own with his amazing body and ability and gives you the option of searching a backup (which is always nice) or searching a massive tempo card. Super cool. People don’t know how to deal with him yet. Abuse him while you can.

Wol: Also a really really good card. Gets advantage straight away. All his effects are useful and I’m happy to say I used all of them consistently today. He’s better played as the second body on the field rather than the first thing you play because then you get instant value.

Psicom Warden: Flan 2.0. I liked flan. I like Psicom Warden. Earth typically has a lot of trouble drawing cards or thinning the deck which is a really cool bonus of playing these 1 drop 11k’s. They also just completely take over a game on their own. In the finals I curved to 4, top decked one and did 7 points of damage with these cards alone. It’s literally the best top deck in the game in the mid game. The only time it’s a bad top deck is if you see multiples early but, in that scenario, it’s not super sad to discard them. And mid game you either top deck them and win cause it’s incredible to top deck or you don’t top deck them because you’ve already taken them out of your deck. No one expected to get killed by my little 3 drop dudes but everyone did.

Prishe: Star sibyl target and dedicated koboldroid yin blocker. In the quarter finals I managed to use the ability 3 times because I kept hitting ex bursts that killed my prishe. Odin, Famfrit, Famfrit. Still won that game, somehow :S

Ingus: Now I’m definitely sure that Ingus is the best of the new Warrior of Light cards. Not only does his effect kind of synergise with earth better than the other cards synergise with their elements. But, He also gets to use the effect WAY more because earth has so many ways to give brave so there are always forwards available to tap down to use the effect after attacking. When this dude is on board your board feels a lot stronger. Also, he synergises really nicely with Raubahn to make him live if you have him and Ennna Kros on field.

Zodiark: It’s really amusing when my opponent goes for turn 3 Setzer Locke from two backups and I just play Kam Zodiark and they lose on the spot.

Momodi: This card is really great to have on the field and realistically it could probably be put up to two but it’s also kind of a dead draw late game and isn’t a turn one backup so I’m honestly not sure. It’s 100% a 1 of in any mono earth deck and possibly a two of If you can find the space.

EDIT: Thought I’d mention Cecil briefly. He’s fine but was never fantastic. Sometimes killed a forward and that was cool and there is definitely synergy with Zodiark and Cecil. It did feel that either my opponents over extended into a board wipe and I just cleaned up or I was the aggressor (most of the time) so there were very few times I needed to play him. I would be happy to cut him to 1 so he is still there and searchable with miner and mog but I don’t draw him too early. Not a super important card to the strategy I think but nice when you can do it.

I will now go over the rounds that I can remember

Round 1: Alex Wu – mono fire

Alex is a good friend and a player I respect. Not great to go against a good player in round 1 of a tournament I’m hardly awake for to be honest.

I curve to 3 while he plays a turn 2 Xande. I answer it with a Kam and then Zodiark the next turn for 7 so his Xande doesn’t kill the Kam. He plays another Xande the turn after that which gets answered by a Raubahn. Finally, he plays a Sabin which got answered by a Cecil and the game was over. We played a few more games so I could get some more reps in with my deck because I didn’t really know what was in it or how to play it yet and the games went pretty much the same. I played a forward and it stuck, he played a forward and I killed it. Funnily enough we swapped decks after a few games and I crushed him with a series of like 4 ex bursts in a row and incredibly lucky draws. Was very funny.  

Round 2: Rob Philips – jank

Rob is one of the best players in the country (and all of Europe) and a teammate who I test versus regularly. Both of us are already qualified for Nationals at this point anyway and neither of us were massively invested in the tournament. I was there to get a bye at nationals and he was there to test his Jank. Weirdly though, in the last 3-5 tournaments we’ve played against each other (since Cardiff) we have played against each other pretty early on in swiss and it’s starting to become a bit of a meme. He knew my deck better than I did because he took a look through it before the tournament (and Rob is actually very good at understanding a deck just by looking at it) but, I knew what his deck did and how to beat it as well because he sent me his list while I was away in turkey so I could test it and see if I could improve it ( I couldn’t). His deck was sort of like an 0tk style combo deck that needed to get a lot of cards in hand to combo off. I knew how fast I needed to play in order to delay that as long as possible and I did. He didn’t draw very well but I also think I played quite well. It got to the point where he was decking out and I was threatening lethal every turn and it was just really obvious he couldn’t win anymore so he scooped.

Round 3:  Cant remember

I do not remember this round at all. All I know is I won in less than 5 minutes and then left to go troll my friend Ryan Stolarski.

Round 4: Callum Hackett – mono water monsters

Callum is another Dark sphere local and a good player. He’s playing a list that makes me want to quit fftcg and move to a farm with no internet. Was my only loss of the tournament. I threw away a hand that had no backups to draw a hand with 4 dark cards. Not great. It would have been fine if I had ever seen a third backup but unfortunately, I was stuck on 2 until about turn 10 so I could never play Kam or Zodiark efficiently. I still almost win though because I took him to 5 or 6 by playing Dadaluma, Wol and the Warden Squad. Eventually, however I just draw nothing but backups for like 3 turns in a row (which is what happens when you don’t see any for the top 25 cards) and I swiftly lost.

Round 5 Dan Meech – Mono lightning

Dan is another friend from Dark sphere (do you see a trend here?). He was x-2 and out of contention for top 8 so I kind of expected him to go easy on me. He didn’t. At all. I misplay really badly turn 2 by playing a Psicom Warden alone when he had two backups and he plays Al-cid + hildibrand + nashu which sucked. Then he plays illua and I’m really feeling the pain. I play Kam searching Zodiark on 5 backups because I knew the only way I would win was if I drew my 1 of Gabranth to scum out the game. He flooded the board and I draw it on 6 damage. Game was over from that point because he had no hand and I had a decent board. Killed 5 things with Zodiark, very flashy!

Quarter Finals: Mitch lander – Water lightning fusoya

Mitch qualified last regional so we both kind of knew it was a chill game for fun.

Game 1:

Hardest game of the tournament for me. I open fairly poorly and he opens well with fusoya and al-cid patrol. I also hit Odin, Famfrit, Cucu (put on top of deck from ephereal summoner) and then another famfrit into damage zone (only the cucu was done from fusoya). Which put me so far behind I felt like I couldn’t even see the cards anymore. I feel like I played exceptionally well from that point forward though because I managed to keep making Mitch use resources while just about clinging to life and still pressuring his life total. Eventually, I had a board of cecil, Kam and Wol vs his board of weak forwards with us both on 6 damage. Easy game from there.

Game 2:

Pretty standard game of fusoya.dek here. Similar things happen to game 1 where fusoya puts in work except this time al-cid also puts in work. It was too much when he played like 4 forwards turn 3-4 and I had no board wipe.

Game 3:

I think Mitch decided he didn’t want to win anymore because I played a Kam searching Zodiark from 3 backups with 3 in hand and he decided to discard his whole hand to dump 3 forwards on the board to try to kill Kam. He only had 1 backup and 0 in hand so it was the swiftest Zodiark of my life. Game was set and done from that point forward, no way to come back for him.

Semi Finals Sam wigmore – mono earth

Sam is a really nice guy and he’s turning into a bit of my kryptonite because every time I go to calamity games he beats me horribly and it’s never fun. He beat me two weeks earlier with mono earth and it was degenerate and seemed like it required no skill which was one of the reasons I wanted to test it :D

The TL;DR of this match should have been I have Kam and Sam doesn’t so I win. However, I didn’t play Kam once so it was kind of irrelevant.

Game 1

He plays Warrior of light turn 1 telegraphing he has a bad hand. I play a backup and pass. He plays Ingus turn 2. I Shantotto. Game over. Situations like this can easily be replicated if you play a normal game of fftcg except one player draws 4 a turn and the other draws normally. That’s what it feels like.

Game 2: We both curve out to 4 backups and play some forwards, But I play Psicom Wardens and position myself to be more aggressive. I think I played around his summons better than He plays around mine and it put us in a position where he was just defensive the whole game. Not even attacking with brave guys. I keep playing 1 forward a turn and hold Kam in hand for when he Shantotto’s me. He plays miner getting back his Shantotto so he can board wipe next turn but I had enough to lethal him from there. This game is a good example of experience I think. Realistically we both had decent draws and the same sort of power level of forwards but I just played more aggressively which put Sam into a defensive mindset which allowed me to just have my way with him. Don’t let players bully you into submission, always be thinking about how to attack back rather than simply not lose!

Finals: Pete Sherratt – mono Ice

Pete is another lovely guy and he seemed really ecstatic that he was in the finals. I could tell he wouldn’t play his best before we even sat down because he asked who was in the finals against him and when told it was me he seemed really unconfident about it. It also seemed like he didn’t really care too much about winning since he was already happy with the nationals place, which is fine. One thing I will say about it is never go into a game thinking you will lose because you are against someone who you perceive as better than you. Similarly, Never go into a game thinking you can just smash it without thinking because you think you are better than your opponent. Give everyone respect and try hard like you are playing in a final of a tournament (especially if you are!) I promise you will surprise yourself occasionally: D

I knew my deck wasn’t tuned for mono ice as much as Sam’s was and I would have to not just play defensively and win of Guy and Yang. I wasn’t entirely sure what the best way to get around Mateus was but I figured if I Hecatoncheir in response to Mateus then it’ll be a good trade of resources. What happened in the games was very different though.

Game 1:

We both curve to 4 and he plays Setzer Locke. I play Psicom wardens and it turns out they are way bigger than Setzer Locke. A quick Kam into Zodiark left me in a position where I just attacked him and he died. Didn’t seem to be anything he could do about it really other than delay it with freeze effects.

From there I decided to just aggro him out because I don’t think he was in the mindset to be able to deal with that. Most people would look at Ice vs Earth and say Ice needs to be the aggressor so I figured that if I took him out of his comfort zone he wouldn’t know what to do.

Game 2: Much of the same happened here. I played Psicom Wardens and Kam. He had no answer at all for them. I switched kam’s element a LOT this game though. Made it dark to zodiark one turn, then switched it to earth just so I could attack into an Orphan. Then back to ice, then earth. I killed his vayne and he just didn’t really have a way to get aggressive. As long as I was in the driver’s seat there was no way Pete would ever be able to win. I solve a really cool lethal puzzle though which involved me using Pellinore and sacrificing my Ingus then using My Monk to buff my Warden to be big enough to kill Orphan and swing in for the last point of damage.

Normally I would give shout outs for help with the deck e.t.c but realistically this deck was just a bunch of cards thrown together that happened to do well. Shout out to all the dark sphere guys (and Ryan and Alex) who were there yesterday and made the day fun and a massive shoutout to Josh Ge (and his beautiful girlfriend Sybil) for hosting me in turkey last week and for generally being a bit of a pimpishmotherf. I’d like to think that the trip made me a better player, but realistically the trip probably just made me a better wine drinker and fancy food sharer, lol.

[scottgalina]

Every Kellyoke So Far, Ranked

My morning routine at work has become thus: First, I enjoy the greatest iced coffee with skim milk and sugar that New York City has to offer, courtesy of Bashir on the northwest corner of 43rd and Broadway. Second, I do whatever work things I have to do that are none of your business (unless you’re someone I work with in which case I prioritize your things). Third--and at this point it’s around 10:45a/11:00a--I open YouTube and click my first recommended video and laugh. You see, every weekday morning, without fail, in the top left corner of my YouTube homepage is the day’s Kellyoke. If for some reason you’re reading this and don’t know what Kellyoke is, allow me to educate you. Kellyoke is the way Kelly Clarkson opens every episode of The Kelly Clarkson Show. But more than that, it is, quite simply, a way of life.

Born from Kelly’s extensive history of #KCRequests on tour (fans request songs on Twitter, she covers them) Kellyokes are approximately two minute covers of popular songs--usually a verse, chorus, bridge, culminating with Kelly simply vocalizing at the end. This is where I laugh. I laugh because not since Jessie J was on that Chinese reality show has there been such a consistent stream of covers sung so exquisitely and captured with such perfect audio.

And I laugh because Kelly Clarkson’s voice is not to be believed. I know everyone “knows” what a good singer she is, but I’m not sure that people have fully come around to the cold, hard fact that she’s one of the greatest vocalists of all time. Certainly that she’s the greatest singer of her generation. 

Each Kellyoke begins with a “Woo!” or “How y’all doing?” or some other burst of excitement from our fearless leader. Then she launches into the cover of the day. Sometimes (mostly upbeat songs) she’ll travel through the audience, traversing down and up stairs and dancing through the rows. Other times she stays stationary at a mic stand either by her band, or somewhere else in the studio surrounded by fans. (This super informative, though nowhere near long enough (nothing could be, really), Vulture piece sheds a little more light onto what goes into these decisions.) Most end with Kelly at “home base” in front of the couches she interviews guests on, which is captured by a weird camera that seems like it’s a GoPro and is stationary so never has her perfectly framed, and always seems lower quality than the other cameras. Kelly concludes each song with another “Woo!” or “Hey!” and always gestures to her band, usually accompanied by her saying “Give it up for my band, y’all!” She’s a class act! (If you’re used to watching Kellyokes on YouTube, then you’re used to them immediately being followed by the official Kelly Clarkson Show bumper which begins with Kelly saying “I will not stop talking.” I learned how to use GarageBand so I could edit that out from the mp3s I make of each Kellyoke. It’s a sad life, what can I say!)

As God decided was my duty (I was bored and, again, sad life!), I recently rewatched all of the Kellyokes that have aired to this date (I mean, you can imagine, it wasn't a hardship.) and below have “ranked” them. But I use the term very loosely. Because how can you rank perfection? Even the “worst” (and I use it even looser this time) Kellyoke is still at least a minute and a half of KELLY CLARKSON SINGING. Which is better than anything else on the planet. It’s better than mango even. So please take the “ranking” aspect lightly.

A brief housekeeping note: I have omitted both the first Kellyoke, “9 to 5”, because it was the first and there was a pre-taped component to it, and the medley of her own songs she performed on November 1st, because I wanted the list to only be covers. “Can’t Stop the Feeling” was performed on November 6th but seems to have been scrubbed from the internet. I remember it being perfectly fine, but didn’t include it because I can’t prove it. I’ve also not counted the November 21st “Neon Moon” cover because it was performed with Gwen Stefani, Blake Shelton, and John Legend, and November 25th’s “Ain’t Going Down (Til the Sun Comes Up)” because it was a duet with Garth Brooks. This is about KELLY and KELLY ONLY.

With all that out of the way, please find every Kellyoke so far ranked.

53. Express Yourself - 9/20/19 Okay, this one is really scary. On paper all the pieces are there: Kelly Clarkson, looking amazing, singing one of Madonna’s most famous songs, working her way through her audience. The catch is that the audience in this instance has been replaced by soulless facsimiles of human beings that seem to have been directed to tune out the music they can hear and instead focus on a song in their head (keeping what it is to themselves) and engage with Kelly as though that’s what she’s singing. It’s horrifying to watch as no one sings along with her and everyone claps to a different beat. Even when she gets to two seemingly gay men, they don’t sing along! Were they told not to? It’s almost like when you watch a party scene in a movie or TV show and you know they either played elevator music or were dancing in complete silence because they didn’t know what song they were going to dub it in later. This is a good excuse to make something the worst and not have it be Kelly’s fault, because she’s perfect.

A quick note on the audiences of The Kelly Clarkson Show before we go any further. It’s unclear what they’re told before each taping. A lot of times it seems as though they’re instructed to clap any which way but on the beat. Almost like the warm-up person says to everyone “Forget anything you’ve heard or instinctively felt about clapping!” It’s very strange. It’s also very strange to watch the way they interact with Kelly Clarkson who is singing sometimes inches from their faces. I know you can’t judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes, but I am VERY confident in saying that if Kelly Clarkson was singing anywhere CLOSE to my body, I would be neither calm nor collected. I might be shocked. I might be stunned. I might faint. But in no way would I be able to carry on normally. More of all this throughout the list!

52. Believer - 9/19/19 This is a totally solid entry that suffers only because it aired back-to-back with the “Express Yourself” episode and I resent how into this song the audience here is; the total opposite of the other one. Everyone should know “Express Yourself”! I don’t think that’s too much to ask! 

51. Come and Get It - 11/8/19 This is ranked low mostly because I’ve always had an issue with a song that’s opening lyric is a young woman singing to a man “You ain’t gotta worry, it’s an open invitation,” so this choice bummed me out. Kelly sounds great, but we’ll keep moving! 

50. Cake By the Ocean - 11/13/19 A pretty straightforward rendition of a song that doesn’t allow many vocal pyrotechnics. That’s okay. It’s still early.

49. Blow Your Mind 10/8/19 The least-known song Kelly’s covered so far (I think? Right?) leads to some pretty low energy from the audience. Kelly sounds really good, but the whole thing just kind of...happens.

48. Happy - 11/22/19 This is about exactly what you’d expect, which is not a bad thing. Kelly Clarkson singing can never be a bad thing! 

47. Wrecking Ball - 10/15/19 An understated opening with a bit of a funereal vibe, if we’re being honest. This one finds Kelly starting planted in the middle of the audience with a few terribly uncomfortable looking people right in her shot. She plays with the melody which we love, and things get better once she starts walking, but all in all this isn’t one that moves the needle.

46. Delicate - 11/5/19 Some confusing excitement at the top as we try to figure out where Kelly is and what’s going on and then it’s like...Oh! She’s there and that’s what’s going on! We almost do really well with a song that feels like it’s fool-proof in terms of clapping on the beat, but our friend in white and our other friend in yellow prove that’s not quite the case! It really takes all kinds!

45. Sucker - 9/10/19 The second Kellyoke, and first proper one, is perfectly solid. The faster parts trip her up on the words a little, but her voice sounds impeccable on the chorus.

44. You Look Good - 11/11/19 My biggest takeaway from this perfectly lovely Kellyoke is that Kelly’s pocket is literally...every note ever written. It’s a common theme that will come up over and over on this list, but it never ceases to amaze me how flawlessly she sings. Even watching all of these videos back to back, it doesn’t get old! She is the greatest singer in the world! 

43. Juice - 9/30/19 She’s looking great and having fun here! If I could complain, it would be about Kelly not singing enough, which reminds me of a story MIA told after she worked on Christina Aguilera’s album Bionic. MIA was excited to write songs to show off Christina’s insane range and Christina was excited to make mellow, less-showy songs in MIA’s style that didn’t require her to belt the way she usually does. It seems their time together was...fraught. 

42. Jealous - 10/16/19 Kelly’s at home, both in leopard print and staying in one place at a mic stand in the band area. It seems pretty obvious that it’s because she really does not know the words to this one, and to make her navigate the stair-business along with the cue-card-business would be totally unfair. We have many more exciting entries on this list, but then she does....that at the end and you wonder why anyone else bothers singing ever!

41. What Makes You Beautiful - 10/10/19 This is fun for everyone, and the arm swaying alleviates all the clapping mishegoss so the audience looks good too. Nothing of it is too consequential, but her alternatives to the melody at the end are great!

40. Independence Day - 10/23/19 If this entry is a tad underwhelming, it’s only because it’s so in Kelly’s wheelhouse. But what a wheelhouse to be in! 

39. Ain't No Other Man - 9/16/19 A lot of YouTube comments on this video (Yes, I read the comments. Have I not been completely transparent about how miserable I am??) suggest that Kelly was holding back vocally on this one which feels true. Is it because she’s not fully confident on the choppy arrangement? Is it because Christina was a guest that day? Is it because she wasn’t feeling well? Who could ever know. Regardless, she still sounds better than literally every other singer on their very best day so who cares?  My only true “note”: It would’ve been nice to hear the “D-do your thang, honey,” right?

38. Any Man of Mine - 10/18/19 Another song that Kelly seems to love singing. I know I’m wrong, but the violin player doesn’t necessarily feel like he’s not chasing her throughout this whole thing. This is also, by my calculations, the first ever Kellyoke to feature a key change. We love to see it! (Am I using that right?)

37. Let Me Blow Ya Mind (10/9/19) The strangest thing about this Kellyoke entry is that every which way its listed on YouTube only credits Eve, leaving out Gwen Stefani, which I can’t figure out. The title is “Let Me Blow Ya Mind (Eve Cover) By Kelly Clarkson | Kellyoke” and the description is “Kelly Clarkson covers Eve's 2001 single, "Let Me Blow Ya Mind" for a live audience.” What gives? This one really makes the case for Kelly making every single song sound, not necessarily better, but like a song that was written for her. Maybe there are songs she wouldn’t sound good singing. If there are, she’s smart enough to not try!

36. Roar - 10/11/19 Kelly’s “Woo” at the beginning is maybe the most excited one in the Kellyoke canon. She looks great in purple (even if the sleeves are a little funky) and the vocal run on the final “roar” is breathtaking. A real motley crew of audience members here!

35. What About Us - 11/4/19 A slightly wonky arrangement that Kelly can’t seem to get in the groove of, but it’s Her singing P!nk, so it’s hard to complain. Kelly and P!nk should co-headline a stadium tour together. I think everyone would love that. Thank you in advance!

34. Shut Up and Dance - 9/23/19 This is all good and fun, but I’m most fascinated by the two women at the 26 second mark, one of whom seems to be hugging herself in order to reach her hands back to her wife, girlfriend, friend, or stranger behind her. It’s a really sweet moment that’s only marred when Kelly gets closer and the woman releases her hands to reveal that she, like the vast majority of The Kelly Clarkson Show audience members, hasn’t yet mastered the basic human function that is clapping.

33. Wild One - 10/17/19 Kelly enters through a new side door for this one, bypassing using the stairs at all. This one is great because Kelly seems to really genuinely love the song. 

32. Straight Up - 11/18/19 This one is fun both because it’s unlike most of the other songs on this list and because Paula Abdul was the guest that day (along with Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, and Justin Guarini.) The lyric flub during the first chorus is a little vexing, but for the most part it’s all just a joy, with everyone firing on all cylinders. 

31. Love Me Like You Do - 10/7/19 This song feels a tiny bit like you can hear her say “Oh, I know that one. Let’s just do that.” right before she goes on. The high pony seems like it was styled by God and the option-up at 1:01 garners a rare reaction (from the girl on the aisle and her, seemingly, sister) that acknowledges that the people in the audience are MERE FEET from Kelly Clarkson while she sings like THAT. Kelly’s vocals at the end are gorgeous.

30. Sugar - 10/29/19 This is the perfect example of a song that Kelly sings and instantly makes feel like her latest single. Her voice just elevates everything! There is nothing she can’t sing! I hope I’ve made that clear at this point! The audience loves this one and how cute is Jessi with her beret and tambourine? Give it up for Jessi, y’all! 

29. Mine - 10/28/19 Kelly looks and sounds amazing here and the audience crowded around her are all doing their best impressions of human beings having a good time and enjoying live music.

28. Can't Feel My Face - 10/14/19 A fabulous horn-centric arrangement lets Kelly’s voice really soar. One of the best audiences, clapping-wise, that we’ve seen.

27. Ride - 11/14/19 Obviously the stars of this entry are Kelly’s dress and hair and the queen in the audience who knows all the words. We get the octave jump earlier than usual which is exciting.

26. Feel It Still - 11/20/19 I’m wondering how many of the artists whose work is represented on this list have heard these covers. Do you think they lose their minds? Are they so honored? Does it make them crazy to know that they will ever be able to sing as well as her? Do they reach out to her privately? Or can they not stand the thought of speaking to someone so talented?

25. Til the World Ends - 9/26/19 When I first saw that she was singing this, I was thrilled because, along with “I Will Wait”, “Crazy For You”, “Go Rest High on That Mountain”, and “My Man”, her 2012 cover of the full version is one of my favorite #KCRequests of all time. (If she ever does “I Will Wait” for Kellyoke I will cease to exist. Know that.) This arrangement is a little different and a little slow to my ear, but still...what a song! 

24. Miss Me More - 9/17/19 Kelly’s having a great time with this one in spite of an audience full of people who are dressed like they didn’t know they’d be on national TV, not only that day but in this lifetime, nor are capable of acknowledging that Kelly Clarkson is singing like that a few feet from their stupid faces. Bonus points for the logo colors. Pink goes good with green.

23. Lips Are Movin' - 10/30/19 We still don’t know why this had one of the most dramatic entrances in Kellyoke history (I can only assume it’s because they taped it the same day as the Halloween episode and wanted to take advantage of Bridget being at the studio? Can anyone reading this even begin to imagine how terrible it is in my head?) but it turns into a perfectly lovely rendition.

22. Never Be Like You - 11/7/19 What could it possibly feel like to sing like this? Do us mere mortals have a point of reference? Is it similar to the way we walk or sleep because it’s so easy for her? Or is it something she has to work towards and feels accomplished after completing like me jogging for one city block or completing a customer service phone call?

21. If It Makes You Happy - 9/25/19 A little low energy and doesn’t lend itself totally to the walking around (she almost doesn’t it make it to where she needs to be at the end!), but again, her voice is so unreal that it doesn’t really matter. I wonder why she chose to do the second verse (“I still get stoned” isn’t totally her brand) and it’s nuts to me that the verse is literally low for her but...whatever! HPA (high pony alert) as well! 

20. Uptown Funk - 11/18/19 First of all, how great is this entire look? This made me smile because when it started I thought, “Oh sure, we know how this will go.” And then I thought a little ahead through the rest of the song and was like “Oh shit, she’s really going to tear into all the ‘Don’t believe me just watch’ business isn’t she?” And, reader, she does! And the vocalizing at the end is just gravy. 

19. Better Now - 11/12/19 I know everyone has different tastes and it takes all kinds, but this is just factually better than the original, right?

18. Chandelier - 9/13/19 A more somber mood to close out Kelly’s first full week of shows, and the audience doesn’t quite know how to be. But GOD, does that dress move well! The words get botched a bit but the voice makes up for it. I know it goes without saying (and yet I still keep saying it!) but, Kelly Clarkson’s voice is ABSOLUTELY INSANE. If you listen to nothing else on this list (WHY???) at least listen to this one. 

17. I Love Rock ‘N Roll - 10/4/19 Kelly’s right at home here rocking out in her signature leopard. The audience is eating it up--they know this one and it seems like they’re actually listening to it in the room! Kelly screams and growls and sounds amazing. The high pony really solidifies this entry’s status.

16. Before He Cheats - 10/2/19 This doesn’t even sound like a cover. It literally just sounds like her song. 

15. Stay With Me - 11/27/19 Choirs make me cry so I’m a big fan of this. It’s another one that makes you laugh when you remember there’s a literal daytime talk show that unfolds over the 58 minutes that follow it. But then makes you emotional from the beauty of God’s voice. Lots of emotions in one minute and 40 seconds!

14. The Story - 11/19/19 This is absolutely beautiful. Doesn’t feel like there’s much more to say, right? 

13. If I Could Turn Back Time - 10/22/19 Four days after the first Kellyoke key change comes this one that almost doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen! By the time she gets to the mainstage it seems like she’s getting ready to wrap things up, but it’s just a fake out. The key changes and it’s insanity. As much fun as the audience seems to be having here, it does make me think that once a week there should be a taping that is solely attended by gay men. I think it would be just an insane Kellyoke to start, then a Q and A with Kelly and the audience for the rest. I’m not positive what it would mean for the ratings, but that’s not my job! 

12. Bitter Sweet Symphony - 11/26/19 My first thought during this one is that I couldn’t believe that there was more to the show after this. This IS a show! This should have played on a loop for the rest of the hour and everyone else should have gone home. I mean, is this the most gorgeous or WHAT?? An unexpected song, a beautiful arrangement, the voice of an angel. Instantly legendary. Few Kellyokes have begged for an expanded, complete version the way this one does.

11. Why Haven't I Heard From You - 9/27/19 Reminder that Kelly Clarkson is as famous as she is in spite of never releasing a country album. Would she be more famous if she’d only released country music? Or even just one country album? Listen to how at home she is on this song! And look at how much loves Reba! You can just tell! I don’t want to be too presumptuous, but I do feel like the pants here aren’t a coincidence. Feels to me like there might have been a discussion about mobility and how into the song she’d get at the end. And she does! That last line! A true legend! 

10. I Put a Spell on You - 10/31/19 We love a production and this is one, honey! I’ll pay this Kellyoke the highest compliment I can which is that it’s the closest we’re going to come to recreating The Rosie O’Donnell Show in this year of our lord 2019. (That would be assuming, of course, Rosie O’Donnell was the greatest singer in the history of the world.) There’s some questionable back-up dancer business around the one-minute-mark (Was she supposed to be alone? Was she actually supposed to touch Kelly??), but that’s the only thing that’s not absolutely perfect about this. 

9. I Like It, I Love It - 10/25/19 It probably won’t surprise anyone reading this to find out that I wasn’t particularly familiar with this song before hearing Kelly’s version (unless there’s an emergency, I try to make sure the only male singers in my iTunes library are Harry Styles and Steven Pasquale), but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened to Kelly’s version. What really struck me is that she didn’t change the pronouns which...well, it made me cry at my desk. It was a long week, okay?

8. Walking on Broken Glass - 10/1/19 Animal print? Check! Iconic song? Check! And buy me that skirt! The real killer here is Kelly’s bridge, which she chooses to FULL THROAT BELT (she knows no other way, really) instead of following Annie Lennox’s falsetto-ed lead. We still get a glimpse of Kelly’s head voice (if not whistle tone) at the end. Kelly’s happy, the audience is into it, this is a good one!

7. Think - 9/12/19 This was only the third episode of the show, so it was easy to think that it might never get better than this. And the truth is, it rarely does! What makes this even more unbelievable than the sheer power of her voice, is that she does this all while going up and down two sets of stairs! Who can do that?! I’ve been known to stop conversations getting on the escalators going up from the Q train just to be able to really focus on what I’m doing, and she’s singing and wearing heels and doing it all at once like it’s no big deal??

6. If I Can't Have You - 10/3/19 This one starts out as a little bit of a bummer because on paper it looks like it may be track seven of her album All I Ever Wanted. (Two quick things here. First, if you ever want me to get light-headed from talking too much and too quickly, ask me about my theory that the best song on any album is track seven. Second, if you don’t know “If I Can’t Have You” get the fuck on it! And then listen to the Smoakstack Sessions acoustic version. And then listen to the live version mashed up with “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” that she only performed a few times in Australia. And then you may marry me.) Anyway, once you get over that initial disappointment, this is a near perfect Kellyoke. If there’s anything else wrong with it (and I know she can’t control the title of the song), it’s only that her whole look is reminiscent of a middle schooler who is playing Smitty in How to Succeed and had to provide her own costume. BUT! Don’t let that take away from everything else to feast on during this one minute and 55 second masterpiece.

5. Alone - 10/21/19 “Anyone here like Heart?” is a clunky opening to what will go down as one of the all-time great Kellyokes, but by the time we get to the “Y’all ready?” we’re off to the races. Because we’re NOT ready! We think we are, but how could we be? I mean, it’s Kelly Clarkson singing “Alone” and somehow it’s even better than you could ever possibly imagine?? Even the audience engagement here doesn’t bother me as much as it usually does. Maybe because I would watch a documentary mini-series about that group of friends, especially the woman in the denim jacket who plays the air drums after Kelly walks away. I feel like she has a gay son. She better work. 

4. Bad Romance - 9/11/19 This one ranks high on both personal and technical levels. Personally, this is certainly something I feel responsible for conjuring through sheer force of will and witchcraft. I don’t want to be buried (“Jesus, I thought this was a silly list of Kelly Clarkson covers!” -you) but if I did, I’d feel comfortable putting here in writing that I’d like “Kelly Clarkson sings a powerful rendition of Lady Gaga's 2009 single ‘Bad Romance’ #KellyClarksonShow #LadyGaga” engraved on my gravestone or the door to my mausoleum or whatever. Technically, again, not much to say beyond “Well, listen to it.” Taking the second verse up an octave is inspired and the ad libs are divine. The flubbed lyrics are a plant to make us think she’s human.

3. Only Girl in the World - 11/15/19 I said “Oh shit” out loud at my desk when I saw the song title, leopard print, and high ponytail all in one Kellyoke. What a trifecta. And what a performance! Let’s be real, this one boils down to the 55 second mark when you and Kelly start a will she/won’t she dance as the bridge crescendos. And like, OF COURSE SHE WILL. SHE’S KELLY MOTHERFUCKING BRIANNA CLARKSON. YOU THINK SHE’S NOT GONNA BELT THAT NOTE YOU WORTHLESS SWINE? I’m no Mister Golightly so I don’t know how to read music that well, but this seems to be the highest belted note in a Kellyoke up to this point. (And PLEASE correct me if I’m wrong. Feels like it’s important for me to know.) Her kids at the end are sweet, but this one became top ten long before they ran out onstage.

2. Let's Go Crazy - 9/24/19 The “Dearly Beloved” probably sounded better in theory, but what otherwise sinks this totally perfect vocal performance is an audience full of goons who deserve to be incarcerated or, at the very least, fined. Did I take for granted that everyone knows how to clap on the beat? Even if EVERYONE doesn’t, the odds don’t seem to lend themselves to how many people in this audience have no idea how to clap. Was there an a support group meeting for the rhythmically impaired that morning somewhere near the Universal lot? Do you think they were laughing in the control room? Also, doesn’t it feel strange that the below people could be in the same room and making those faces at the same time? Surely someone’s should be different. And I know which one I think!

1. I Wanna Dance With Somebody- 10/24/19 This is the Kellyoke motherlode. It may never get better than this. Every choice Kelly makes is the one you want her to. This one has it all: full-throated belting, whistle tone, iconic song, iconic outfit, option-ups left and right. The brief moment of audience participation lets us know that Kelly wants you to think this is for everyone, but it’s really just her taking the opportunity to go fucking wild. It’s what we and, more importantly, she deserve.

[junker-town]

A conversation with Nick Eh 30, the Fortnite streamer who signed with Twitch

Nick Eh 30 is one of the most recognizable Fortnite players on the planet, and he’s making the move to Twitch September 1.

Nick Eh 30, YouTube’s top Fortnite streamer, announced Thursday that he partnered with Twitch and will begin streaming on the Amazon platform. Creative Artists Agency (CAA) orchestrated the deal for Nick Eh 30 and Twitch.

The announcement comes almost a month after Ninja left for Mixer, which is run by Microsoft. Nick Eh 30, repped by CAA, will still post gameplay videos and vlogs on his channel, which has over 4.6 million subscribers. But the move is a significant pick-up for Twitch after losing esports’ biggest name in Ninja.

If you aren’t familiar with Nick Eh 30, he’s known for more than just his Fortnite skills. His manners and family-friendly content are what he’s built his foundation on, along with funny moments, and unbelievable tricks on the world’s most popular video game.

He took time to talk to SB Nation about his move to Twitch, his perfect manners, and why he microwaves his ice cream, among other interesting food habits.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

For some people who are reading this and might not know who you are, tell us how you got started in gaming.

Nick Eh 30: It started with trying to prioritize school. From junior high to high school, I was getting straight As. On top of this, I was doing Taekwondo, guitar lessons and many other extracurricular activities. When I do something, I want to do something to the best of my ability, so the main thing I wanted to do was become a doctor. Eventually, I stopped doing all those extracurricular activities. I wouldn’t really do much outside, I didn’t have too much of a social life or anything, I didn’t really go with friends.

So naturally, I had to take breaks from studying. Video games were my quick break, my quick little getaway from school, and then I could get right back into it and really, really grind. Eventually, this kind of turned into a love and a passion that I wanted to share.

When I was in university and high school, I would be uploading videos just for fun. People would say, “Nick, you make my day, thank you for making this, thank you for making me laugh.” It made me really happy, and I loved editing and recording, and it basically kept going on from there.

My parents gave me a year to take a break from university. They would support me, and if I became successful [at something], I could keep on doing it. If not, I’d have to go back to school and become a doctor.

Live streaming took off around the time of Fortnite, and I had a little bit of talent on Fortnite when most people were very new to the game and didn’t catch on as quickly. People really liked tuning into my streams because I share tips and tricks and because I was walking through my thought process. It just kept spiraling up from there and growing, growing, growing, and here I am today.

View this post on Instagram

Nothing better than Fortnite with friends! @sanchowest

A post shared by Nick Eh 30 (@nickeh30) on Aug 7, 2019 at 12:21pm PDT

Obviously, there’s no sure thing in this world, so what was it like taking time away from school since that’s not a traditional move? Were there any nerves there?

NE30: Oh yeah, and before then, school was my bread and butter. That was my happiness, that was what I relied on. When I started to do a little bad in school — like I wasn’t performing like I used to because I was just burnt out on it — it got me feeling a little down and nervous. That was my future up until I thought, “OK, maybe I could do YouTube.” When I started doing YouTube, I was a lot happier. It was scary, but I would say because of the hard work I was a little more confident.

Was there one thing that really helped your channel take off, or was it just about consistently putting out good content that people knew was going to be there?

NE30: One big thing was streaming early in the morning when every other big streamer on YouTube was offline. I would be a streamer with like 200 viewers, but I was the top streamer because everyone was offline. Everyone who was getting 10,000 viewers, 15,000 viewers, they were all gone. I was making sure to get up early — 5 a.m. — every single day, which transitions into another point: consistency. Literally took no breaks — seven days a week, five hours in the morning at the time, five hours at night at the time. It was just an early-morning stream every single day, and an afternoon stream every single day. So I think those were the two big things.

Your move to Twitch is obviously a big deal, and the timing shouldn’t be lost on anybody with Ninja’s recent move to Mixer. I’m curious for you, as somebody who’s built up a huge following on YouTube — were there any nerves in making that switch? You’ll still do videos and vlogs on YouTube, so those followers won’t go to waste. But you still have to hope those people move over to Twitch.

NE30: Twitch has been so accommodating, and they’re making sure that all of the loyalty badges and tenures of my members will be getting transferred over, and it’s the first time they’ve done this for anyone. So my entire community — if they’ve been supporting me — that recognition will still be there on Twitch. That’s one thing that makes me really confident. Another thing is that — you know, I’ve worked really, really hard to build up a community and have a family-friendly community. And you could almost say I’ve become friends with my audience and with my community. A lot of them really really support me, and I’m just focused on the fact that I get some incredible support. I’m going to try to entertain and do the best that I can to entertain people that want to follow me, and I absolutely know that a lot of people will. Because at the end of the day, it’s still going to be the same me. Nothing has changed — it’s just the platform that changed.

You mentioned having a family-friendly stream — one of the things you are known for is your manners. Please and thank you. How did that become such a staple for you?

NE30: This was just one of those things when I’d be interacting with my chat. As with any chat, [fans] try to help you. They’ll try to say, “Nick, you missed that!” or “Nick, go back there!” And the way I interpret it — because with text online, it’s hard to interpret tone and how people are saying things. I was interpreting it as rude, and I explained to them how I interpreted their messages, and I’m like, “Guys, maybe add a please and thank you on the end, and I’d be more than willing to do what you guys are asking me to do.” I would reinforce that behavior in the chat, only responding to people who would say please and thank you, and then eventually it just kind of became a thing that people recognize me for and think that it’s all I say.

Is it hard to keep that same energy all the time? In the streams that I’ve watched, you’ve always been chill and happy even when things might not go your way. Your “tired” is a lot of people’s peak energy. How do you maintain that?

NE30: I think it’s a combination of things. No. 1 is just being grateful for what you have. Every day before I start my stream, I’m like, “Oh my God. Wow. I get to live a dream job, I get to play video games for a living.” That definitely helps keep you motivated.

Another thing is I know that so many kids are watching that I want to try to set as good of an example as I can. I get so many emails where people say, “Nick, I’m so glad that I can turn on your stream with my five-year-old in the room and not have to worry about you swearing or getting angry.” I always think of those moments, and I’m like, “OK, keep it cool. You get to live an amazing life, an amazing job.” And I just want to try to set the best example that I can and influence people in a positive way.

I know many people just want to watch the best Fortnite players possible, and obviously you’re one of them —

NE30: Thank you very much!

But I think part of the entertainment value of your stream is when your parents get involved. What’s that like?

NE30: With my parents, my mom, she’ll help even behind the scenes. She just does so much, and I think it’s kind of nice to get them involved. I really enjoy that, and it gives people another way to relate.

Do you ever show up to these events with people screaming “please and thank you” and just stand there and tell yourself, “I can’t believe this is my life”?

NE30: [laughs] The last fan meet-up I did at the Fortnite Pro-Am, there were so many people. Not everybody was able to get a picture because the line was so big, and people were waiting around the fence and screaming, “Please and thank you!” I got everyone to do push-ups outside in 35-degree weather [95 degrees Fahrenheit]. The fact that I can do that and inspire people in a positive way through fitness doing push-ups — I mean, it will never get old, and I’m just always so grateful that I can do that, and I want to continue to be the best example of a person that I can.

Most consecutive push-ups you’ve ever done?

NE30: I don’t know if you’d believe this, but when I was younger I would do push-ups every single day. When I was lighter and younger, I’m talking 14, I would do 200 push-ups in a row. The most I’ve done recently is about 80.

Whenever we cross paths, I’m challenging you to a push-up competition.

NE30: Bring it! You better come prepared!

I’m going to get into the hard-hitting questions here because I am a big important journalist. Can you please explain why you microwave your ice cream?

NE30: OK, let me do some clearing up here: people think I microwave my ice cream to the point where it’s melted, like completely melted and it’s a liquid —

Can I stop you right there for a second? Because in your Twitch announcement video, that looked like SOUP!

The Big Announcement! https://t.co/osyFjCi6Ve pic.twitter.com/SYfPVUbuet

— Nick Eh 30 (@NickEh30) August 29, 2019

NE30: [laughing] That was definitely overdone! I want you to think of McDonald’s or Dairy Queen soft-serve ice cream. It’s a soft type of ice cream versus the tub that you get, and it’s rock-hard frozen. It’s like taking a piece off the side of the top versus in the center — the side is usually a little more melted and a little more soft.

That’s fair because I don’t microwave mine, but I do need a more solid consistency, where it’s almost chewy? It’s weird, I don’t know, but that video took me out, man. I was like, “There’s no way that was appetizing, even for him.”

NE30: I had to do that take like 20 times to get it right, and it was only in there for like 0.5 seconds. But I took like 20 bites of that melted, disgusting ice cream.

Were you actually throwing that down, or were you spitting it out for each take?

NE30: I was actually eating it because I didn’t want to make a mess. We didn’t have another bowl, but yeah, I was eating it all. I probably gained a solid pound by the time I left.

Do you have any other weird food habits? Not that that one’s really weird, but just others where it’s like “what are you doing?”

NE30: I pour the milk before the cereal.

That’s a problem.

NE30: That’s a problem, I know. I’ve heard that from a lot of people. When I have tea in the morning — when I was younger anyway, not anymore — but I’d have tea as well as some toast, with peanut butter on the toast. I would dip the peanut butter and toast into the tea, so it would almost get soft and mushy, and then you take it out, and you bite it, and it’s consumed in the tea, so it’s moist. It’s pretty gross now that I think about it, but that’s what I used to do.

Would you do that today?

NE30: I mean, honestly I wouldn’t mind doing it. It definitely tastes good. I think it sounds gross, but it tastes good. But I don’t do that anymore.

You should do that on stream one of these days, just for old time’s sake. A throwback Thursday, if you will.

NE30: It would definitely trigger a lot of people, so only when I’m feeling extra positive. [laughs]