There is a scratch mark on the floor of the Council chambers that Mace has never noticed before. Not a deep one, mind, quite shallow. This matters because it’s making the white-hot pulse of agony stabbing through his eyeballs ebb momentarily. Then, he chances a glance upwards at the fidgeting Knight in front of them, and it returns in full force.
Huh, he’s never seen Oppo Rancisis’ face turn that colour before.
“Hmm”, Master Yoda hums, deep and scratchy. His expression is unreadable even to Mace beyond a baseline gremlinness, and the force with which he grips the edges of his seat is making his bones creak. Master of the Order you should become, they said. Follow the calling of the Force, you should. A fulfilling purpose, it will be. Mace is going to hunt the little goblin for sport when this is all over, and he’s going to laugh the whole time.
“Show us the livestream again, could you, Knight Parvo?” Yoda asks. Mace bursts a capillary, he’s pretty sure, and so does poor Knight Parvo, whose orange Mon Cala skin tips all the way into blood red with stress. “Most unusual, this is.”
“Absolutely not!”, Ki Adi intervenes before Mace has to, thank the Force for little mercies. Plo Koon’s tusks tremble slightly with either suppressed laughter or abject horror, maybe both, and Stass Allie has her head in her hands. “The holo stills should be enough”, Ki Adi proceeds to add, and Mace has to reconsider all feelings of grace he just felt towards his fellow Councillor.
He never wants to watch Yoda zoom in on someone’s abs again. Or Depa raise her eyebrows at the curve of thighs bent over the dripping front of a speeder.
“Speeder Wash For Our Troops”, his former padawan reads out loud from a still of what has to be hundreds of the things gathered in the public senate parking lot. “Fund Our Boys And Get A Wet Seeing-To!” The series of images features dozens of Coruscant Guard troopers in various stages of unkitted, gleaming and shining with soap suds and water. The fact that the whole thing is also massive shatterpoint after massive shatterpoint is, quite frankly, insulting.
“Well hello- oh dear”, Obi-Wan’s blue form crackles to life in his chair, followed by several sounds of choking that are definitely not him. Good, Mace thinks acidly. If he has to deal with this, then so does kriffing Skywalker. “I’m sorry, why am I looking at Commander Thorn using a washrag like a lasso on top of a speeder?”
“Oh, the Guard’s little fundraising project”, Bail Organa says, as he steps into the Council chambers. Normally, Mace likes the man well enough. Now, he just smiles and adds on, “I’ve already donated, in mine and Breha’s name. Remotely, of course.”
“The Guard’s fundraising speeder wash?”, Obi-Wan repeats, edges of his holo form flickering with what Mace suspects is Skywalker very unsubtly trying to edge in. Force, but the man really is horrible at any and all stealth, like kissing his secret wife in an open arena in front of his Master. “And they are fundraising for…?”
“GAR budget allocations have to come from somewhere”, Organa shrugs. “And with the tide of public opinion turning, they’ve been tending towards cuts. The Guard feels them more keenly than any other sector - they’ve been reduced from half to quarter rations, and medical supplies have not made more than a token appearance in the last draft. The Chancellor has cancelled three consecutive meetings on the matter, and thus it was agreed that a more hands-on approach was needed. Any surplus will go into the Army fund.”
“Surely it can’t be that dire”, Oppo protests, a slightly less concerning shade of purple now. Senator Organa shrugs again, jostling the smattering of cracks slowly building around his person in a way that makes Mace wince quietly. “It’s all publicly available data, Masters.”
It really can be that dire, as it turns out. And quarter rations is only scratching the surface of how dire, considering the Guard has apparently never had access to bacta in all their posting, and also includes requisitioning forms available to the Senate for reconditionings and decommissionings, two words Mace has only heard Ponds whispers amidst shuddering in the early days of the war before Shaak Ti went off and just about tore some throats out over it.
“Alright”, he concedes, rubbing at his temples. “Fair enough, we have failed to tackle a massive blind spot in the Guard’s well being. There is no Jedi assigned to Coruscant, and that’s an oversight on our behalf. But how in the everloving kriff did this get past the Chancellor and Commander Fox?!”
Who have both signed, black on white. Bail Organa smiles cryptically. “Well, if you scroll a bit past that one image, up to the industrial speeder in the back - Commander Fox is currently having credits stuffed into his codpiece in the back, I believe.”
“HE’S WHAT IN THE WHAT NOW”, Commander Cody screeches through the speaker of Obi-Wan’s holo image, and Mace has to summon every bit of Jedi-serenity he possesses in his body to keep from dropkicking a cackling Yoda through the chamber windows.
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thinking about how quill used music as his only reminder of his mother, to the point that he would risk his own life to save it and keep part of her alive, and how we're introduced to him as the one who dances while everyone around him rolls their eyes, and how he raises baby groot to be the first of the team to dance as openly and joyfully as him, and how this groot is the first one to dance during the last scene, and how rocket – who hums tunelessly while he works until he's building stereos to play tunes while fighting until his favorite song is "come and get your love" – joins him without any self-consciousness, and how quill left rocket his zune and team leadership but the first gift he ever gave him was a name for what he was: raccoon, and how drax overcomes his stubborn adherence to never dancing because what matters more to him than being a stoic destroyer is being a father, who makes the hundreds of children that look up to him laugh with delight, and who gets to watch mantis (whose innocence reminded him of his daughter) set off into the world with her own purpose the way his own child never got to, and how nebula dances along with them, no longer holding herself to the second-best status that thanos forced on her, instead at home as a leader who can fight with her family without having to compete with them, and how she stills talks to gamora, who is able to accept that she once meant the world to the guardians, once spoke their language and joined in their hugs and was part of their fun, but that she doesn't owe it to them to join in the dance and be that same person, and returns to the adoptive family that she feels at home with, and the lyric "leave all your love and your longing behind / you can't carry it with you if you want to survive," and how in order to go forward the guardians can't all stay together, but how that doesn't mean they aren't still a team and a family because how do you truly leave the people who have dragged you, doubting and kicking and screaming, toward comfort and security and happiness? for the hottest, slowest, laziest days to end, the ones where you lost best friends and spouses and children and siblings and years of your life and memories with someone, the ones where you run from your past and pretend you were never in pain, never loved anyone, you have to let that hope catch up with you (“happiness hit her / like a bullet in the back”). anyway i think this was a pretty good series like this post if you also had a laugh or two over cosmo the space dog's telekinetic hijinks!!
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Happy 10th anniversary to Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 1!!!
This series and these characters mean the world to me, and I can't believe that through all the insanity of the last decade, they managed to get 3 amazing films, 3 crossover appearances, and 1 holiday special!
I'm also happy that the critical and commercial success of this series had a butterfly effect of getting James Gunn his current spot of head of DC! Hopefully the next 10 years of DC movies and shows will bring us even more amazing stories and characters!
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