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#gassy hunks
stinkfacestories · 3 months
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The day you found out you had won Jason Kelces Beard Challenge was the best day of your life. The challenge was simple: put together a snap or tiktok video of how to get a beard as good as Jason and the top winner would win a day with Jason. Your video was a long shot: you made a tiktok showing how if you mixed essence of dwarf, with a bit of neanderthal, and just a splash of viking inside Abraham Lincoln's hat and applied it to your face, you'd look as good as Jason. It did t get very many views but Jason loved it. The next thing you knew you were in Philadelphia meeting the man himself at the airport.
The tour of Philadelphia through Jason Kelces eyes was a lot of stops at places he loved to eat. Steak sandwich, sausage, pizza, ice cream. The man just loved to eat. As the day dragged on just as Afternoon turned to evening he took you to Lincoln Field, his home turf. There was no game and the place was locked down, but that was nothing a few signed balls couldn't handle.
He took you to the locker room, the place where he told you he feels most free to be himself. You both sat down on the bench in front of his locker. He took out a case of bud light and cracked one open. The man drank so much bud lite you swore he was sponsored by them.
He told you to be quiet. To just listen to the sound of the room. To drink it in and become one with the soul of real American football.
The only thing you heard was the bench breaking as Kelce leaned forward and let out a fart with a satisfied grunt.
"Oh, sorry," he said, not sounding very sorry.
"Really? " you said. You looked at him, almost appalled that he would do that with you right next to him.
Jason turned and gave you a wink. "Dont tell me you don't find farts funny. Your a guy. All guys love farts." 
You rolled your eyes. "Not really."
"What about this one," he said and let loose a loud bassy fart.
"God stop it, it's so gross," you said as you slid away, but suddenly found yourself pressed against the wall of the locker room. "Seriously dude. What the fuck?"
"C'mon," Jason said as he moved over towards you. “I warned you. Remember when I ate that large sausage with pickled garlic ave said ‘were in trouble later’? What do you think I meant.” and placed a hand on your chest, giving you a bit of a push. "Don't be a prude."
You were caught between a wall, and a wall of beef holding you in place. "Seriously, stop it".
"Can't stop. Won't stop," he said still pressing you in the wall. His eyes were the kind of dull that only cheap low quality beer can make the."You know I bet you never had an older brother. Between me, my dad and Travis we learned to appreciate farts. My dad told me that the best cure is exposure. So to get you up to speed I think I need to gas you more"
He  pressed into you and lifted up his keg and let loose with a fart so powerful it echied through the empty locker room.. You struggled to get away from the horrible stench, but couldn't escape.
"No, don't do this," you said as it overwhelmed you.
He turned around and pressed his huge soft center lineman ass in your face, the soft fabric of his shorts spreading across your face like warm dough. It was too much, and you were powerless to stop it. His asshole flexed and relaxed as it sent out a long drawn out series of wet sounding farts. You gagged as the air around you filled with the horrid odor.
"Fuck that was a good one," he said, not budging an inch. “Three point stance just rips these farts out of me.”
"I think I'm going to puke," you said, trying not to vomit.
"If your gonna puke, aim that way, I like these shorts." he said pointing. "Do you think it's funny yet?"
"No!" You coughed.
"Alright you asked for it" he presses his ass harder, wedging your nose on his cheeks. He let loose with a rapid fire volley of farts that left you breathless and coughing. He backed away, chuckling at you.
"God, fuck, that's rank!" You coughed. You tried to breathe fresh air but the locker room had been total polluted by Kelces ass.
"Come on. You don't have to love them, but you gotta at least admit they are funny and manly now. How can you like football and not think farts are funny." he let you stew and come up with an answer.
"Fuck...no," you say.
He shrugged. "Ok. Your loss," he said and pressed his ass in your face again.
"No! Please. God. No. Fuck!"
"What's it going to take? Do I need to pull my shorts down and give you a bare ass stinkface?" He said, pressing even harder.
"No! No more. Fine. They're fucking funny," you cried.
"What?" He said. "I couldn't hear you"
"They're funny!"
"Now are you just saying that to make me stop?"
"No, I mean it. They are funny and they are manly."
"Well, if it's funny you won't have a problem asking me to do it a few more times so you can properly laugh. Right?"
"Uh...fine. Sure. Just, please, no more, I can't take it."
He turned and farted once. "Laugh. Laugh hard and long and deep." He was getting frustrated that you weren't laughing. "Seriously come on guy. This is just as bad for me as it is for you. It's hard to hold this position and if I keep farting I'm going to have to take a dump soon"
"Oh god no!"
"Laugh dammit!" He yelled.
"No, no, I can't."
"Fine then," he said. He pulled you down and set you face up on the bench. He loomed over you. "Ok big fucking guns time" he pulled down his shorts and hovered his raw hairy bear ass over your face.
"Oh shit, dude please don't!" His as was a beast. This close you could make out the rough skin. His ass had taken a pounding over the years and looked like a hefty bag overfilled with cottage cheese. The hair on his crack was dense and black. 
"Do you think this is funny?"
"Yes, yes, fuck, yes!" You were sobbing, your body convulsing.
“Good. Then you'll find this hilarious.” he sat down. He sat down hard. He rocked back and forth, the wiry hair of his ass crack scouring your face. He dug deep like he has an itch he was trying to scratch.
"Laugh. C'mon. Laugh, laugh like a big boy." He said, simultaneously belching and farting.
"Ahahaha!" You started crying and laughing.
"Oh fuck. What a fucking cry baby. Laughing at farts is supposed to be funny. Not sad."
"I'm sorry," you sobbed.
"Just...fucking stop," he said, standing and pulling up his shorts as he got off you. "Baby can't handle a grown man's ass. Jesus fuck"
He sat down next to you. You were still shaking a little, tears coming from your eyes. "I'm sorry," you said.
"It's fine, it's not the first time I've gassed someone like that," he said. "your not the only one who cried either "
You sniffed, still wiping tears away. "It was just so...overwhelming. The smell, and the sound, and the pressure..."
"It was a lot. It was," he said.
He drained his bud light and crushed the can. "Ok second chance to get it right." He leaves forward and farted, then looked to you to see your reaction.
You laughed. A genuine laugh. "Fuck, dude."
He smiled and farted again. You kept laughing. "It's funny, isn't it?"
"Yeah. It is," you said, laughing some more.
"Now you" he said 
You panicked. You didn't have to fart. You were to nervous.
"What the hell. Do it"
"I don't know if I can," you said.
"Come on. Do it. Do it" he chanted.
"I can't."
"You trying to make me mad? You're a guy. You should always be ready to let rip"
"But I'm not drunk like you are. And I'm not a fucking monster with an ass like yours."
"Fine, then, let's fix that." He reached down and ripped a huge one. He reached for his phone and placed a call "Trav. Yeah we got an emergency. Yeah get that chili defrosted and get some real cheap beer. Ooooh and some gas station food. Yeah he's a wimp. Didn't laugh. No he did. Fuck no she can't come to.  Alright. Love you. No homo" he hung up the phone.
"Your brother's coming over?"
"Yup. And he's gonna be pissed if you don't laugh when he cuts one. He loves farts. And he's got an ass that could kill a guy."
"Wait..."
"We're going to our man cave. It's a cabin in the woods. Just guys. Strict no pants policy. You better hope Trav remembered his boxers. You are gonna learn to love being a man like us and become the third Kelce brother, or you ain't leaving that shack."
"What's it going to be like," you said, afraid, but also excited.
"Oh, you're gonna hate every minute, and you're gonna love every minute."
"Fuck. I'm going to get wrecked, aren't I?"
"Oh definitely. We will probably fuck up your head so much. You're going to end up with a fetish for this."
You laughed.
All you could do was laugh.
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sortarapunzel · 1 year
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absolutely incorrigible behavior in this house tonight <- watching the voltron german dub and enjoying it
#if me from 10 years ago could see me now she'd be so confused#all she knew of german dubs was that they turned benjamin coddersnatchs voice into a normalman tenor in sherlock#but also... voltron... whew its bringing back memories#the english dub... its Such a kids show oh my god how did we ever think it was going to go where we thought it would#the animation does slay though. when the characters move it slays#the german dub sort of smooths out the kids show vibes#it also smooths out keith which is really funny#og keith is so like. im punk. im gruff. im voiced by steven yeun. meanwhile german keith is just kind of tired?#german keith has been through some shit and you can hear it. hes no longer a weirdly deepvoiced teenager hes now a weirdly worldly teenager#(and a tenor. of course. bc no german dub is complete without a complete swap of vocal range for the men) (I've honestly gotten used to it)#(highpitched sam winchester is the superior sam winchester and you can fight me on this)#already growing so attached to the german voices that the og english sounds weird to me. i am 10 minutes into the first episode#german dubs are superior!! i can't explain it!! even though the acting is so dry in comparison to the og...#idk what it is i just like how they interpret the characters#og hunk is hard to beat tho ill give him that. german hunk is good but og hunk is great#german lance is WAYYY less cocky lmao he sounds way more unsure of himself when he's delivering those bravado-ass lines#pidge is just. a woman though. it's kind of offputting#you literally cant beat bex taylor klaus at voicing pidge like. they were practically Made for the role#but to have just a normalvoice woman voice pidge is so odd#anyway the translation is also great. lance calls hunk a genius giantfart (genialer riesenfurz) instead of a gassy genius#instead of 'well‚ congratulations'‚ keith tells lance 'welp‚ congrats‚ dude' (Tja‚ Glückwunsch‚ man)#at hearing he got his place in the pilot class#which is such a small change but im obsessed with it#anyway. back to the incorrigible behavior#voltron#junos
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featherlight-whispers · 2 months
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the voltron gang as planets
keith: mars
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it’s red. it’s associated with war and space exploration. gustav holt’s piece dedicated to mars rocks. need i say more?
lance: neptune
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big blue planet associated with the sea god. you see its color and you just know it’s neptune. it’s an underrated icon, just like lancey lance <3
hunk: jupiter
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just like lance says, big gassy guy. probably one of the most iconic planets in our system, i have loved both since day one. gustav holt made a banger of a piece dedicated to jupiter
pidge: mercury
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small, shares the name with an element that has made people lose their minds, just like whenever pidge mentions graphs and data. overall a cool ass planet
shiro: saturn
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good old saturn, its rings remind me of his scar and overall appearance. gustav holt dubbed him the bringer of old age, just like young keith when he won at hoverbikes
allura: TOI 1338b
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look at that gorgeous planet. look at those colors. it was discovered by a nasa intern on his third day, just like allura was awakened by a bunch of teenagers (+ a tired 20 year-old). it orbits two stars, just like allura orbits the past and the future
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yuckybusiness2 · 8 months
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Sooo I absolutely love your art, I swear I fall in love with it every time I see you post (especially gas stuff yours is some of the best 👍), and I've never done like an ask so I'll take a shot at it
I really, and I mean REALLY like Barry the Chopper from Fullmetal Alchemist. He's a side character that gets a lot more development in the brotherhood series and I love his design but that's besides the point. He rarely gets fat art, if at all, so if he seems up your alley maybe a fat Barry would be cool 👀
and bonus if he's gassy too, but again, only if you've got the mood for it. Love your art, keep it up, super proud of your work and I'm always excited to see your stuff floating around. Take care!! 🖤🖤
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He’s a hunk and a hottie and now he’s fat and eager to please
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aspenmissing · 10 months
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𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚁𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚅𝚘𝚕𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚗 (𝙿𝚝 𝟸)
"But how your last name is Gane, not Shiro...Gane ohhh, Gane is the shortened version of Shirogane" Lance says, realizing.
"You just figured that out now" Y/N says, face palming.
"Anyway, sorry to interrupt this grand reveal, but back to the aliens" Hunk says, looking to Shiro "Where are they now? Are they coming? Are they coming for all of us? Like where are they at this very moment?"
"I can't really put it together. I-I remember the word Voltron. It's some kind of weapon they're looking for, but I don't know why. Whatever it is, I think we need to find it before they do" Shiro explains. Hunk then goes through two bags.
"Well last night, I was rummaging through Pidge and Y/N's stuff, and I found these pictures. " Hunk shows everyone a picture of Pidge and a girl. And Y/N with Shiro, him giving her a piggy back "Look it's his girlfriend. And I always wondered why Y/N and Shiro were so close, until now"
"Hey, gimme that!" Pidge says, snatching the photo back and her bag. 
"What were you doing in out stuff?" Y/N asks, getting her photo back from Hunk, placing it into her coat pocket and grabbing her own bag.
""I wa—I was looking for a candy bar. But then, I found Pidge's diary and started reading it" Hunk pulls out Pidge's diary. Y/N steals it back, giving it back to Pidge.
"You don't go through people's things, Hunk!"
"And I noticed that the repeating series of numbers the aliens are searching for looks a lot like a Fraunhofer life"
"From...who?" Keith asks.
"It's a number describing the emission spectrum of an element, only this element doesn't exist on Earth . I thought it might be this Voltron , and I think I can build a machine to look for it, kinda like a Voltron Geiger Counter"
"Hunk, you big, gassy genius!" Lance says.
"It's pretty fascinating, really. Th-The wavelength looks like this" Hunk pulls out a graph of the wavelength. Keith grabs it from him.
"Give me that" Keith matches the wavelength's appearance to an array of boulders he has seen and has a photo of him.
==
The group arrives at the location with Hunk's new device, which Pidge holds up.
 "...Okay, I admit it. This is super freaky" Lance said.
"I'm getting a reading" Hunk uses the device to locate a cave with ancient carvings inside
 "Whoa" we all said.
 "What are these?" Shiro asks as they all look around.
 "These are the lion carvings I was telling you about, They're everywhere around here" Keith says. Lance approaches a carving and touches it, causing all of them to light up, surprising everyone.
"Whoa... Whoa!" He jumped back a bit. 
"Heh, they've never done that before" The ground beneath them collapses and the group all fall down, sliding down on water. Y/N laughs as everyone screams. Pidge is sat on Hunk's shoulder, pulling his hair. They all make it to the end, and Y/N was first down. Unfortunately, Lance has landed on the girl, knocking the air out of her. 
"Ow" She groans.
"Oh sorry, Y/N" Lance smiles sheepishly, helping her up. Lance looked up and gasps.
"They are everywhere" They look to see a big robotic blue lion, a force field around it.
 "Is this it? Is this the Voltron?" Pidge said.
 "It...must be" Shiro says.
"This is what's been causing all of this crazy energy out here" Y/N says walking towards the lion. The rest following.
"Looks like there's a force field around it" Keith says.
"Does anyone else get the feeling this is staring at them" Lance says while moving from side to side. 
"Hmm... no" Shiro said making a weird look at lance. 
"Yeah the eyes are totally following me" he still continued to move side to side. Keith runs up to the force field and touches it with no reaction. 
"I wonder how we get through this" He tried to push through the force field but fails. Lance came up to Keith, Y/N besides him. 
"Maybe you just have to knock" Lance says. He knocks on the force field twice and it reacts, dissipating and igniting the area around them in blue. The group sees an Image of Voltron forming from the six Lions in their minds. Lance turns around to face the group "Uh, did everyone just see that?" 
"Voltron is a robot. Voltron is a huge, huge, awesome robot" Y/N says, eyes sparkling. Hunk and Y/N share a look.
"Awesome!" They say in unison.
"And this thing is only one part of it! I wonder where the rest of them are" Pidge says. Shiro looks up at the Lion.
"This is what they're looking for" Keith mouth was open 
"Incredible" He says. The Blue Lion suddenly lowers its head and opens its mouth to allow them inside, terrifying Hunk and Pidge. Lance hesitates, but gleefully enters and takes a seat in the cockpit.
"Here we go" Lance says. The seat jolts forward, making Lance scream, and the command console activates "Hehehe! All right! Very nice!" Everyone else enters the cockpit.
"Okay, guys, I-I feel the need to point out, just so that we're all, y'know, aware: We are in some kind of futuristic alien cat head right now" Y/N stands behind Pidge, looking around in amazement. Lance senses the Blue Lion communication with him.
Whoa, did you guys just hear that?" Lance asks.
"Hear what?" Keith said. Lance looks up and down.
"I-I think its talking to me. Hmm...Um.." Lance presses a few buttons; the Blue Lion stands up and roars. Hunk and Pidge scream.
"Awesome" Y/N says. Lance grips the handles.
 "Okay. Got it. Now lets try this" 
==
Lance smashes the Blue Lion out of the cavern and takes off flying, doing somersaults and wild turns in the air, terrifying the team. Hunk and Pidge scream, Y/N gripping onto Shiro and Keith. Hunk and Pidge gripping onto Lance.
"YOU ARE. THE WORST. PILOT. EVER" Keith shouts.
"I AGREE!" Y/N shouts back.  The screaming continues as Lance kept doing flips. The Blue Lion then lands and runs along the desert at high speed.
"Isn't this awesome!?" Lance says. 
"Make it stop. Make it stop" Hunk pleads. Looking like he's about to throw up.
 "I'm not making it do anything. It's like its on autopilot" Lance shouts. The Blue Lion takes off into the sky.
"Where are you going?" Y/N shouts.
"I just said it's on autopilot, it says their is an alien ship coming towards earth. I think we are supposed to stop it"
"What did it say, exactly" Pidge asks.
"It wasn't like saying words, more like feeding ideas into my brain, kind of" Y/N gives him a weird look.
 "Well if this thing is the weapon they're coming for, why don't we just, I don't know, give it to them? Maybe they'll leave us alone. Sorry, lion. Nothing personal." Hunk said. 
"You don't understand. These monsters spread like a plague throughout the galaxy, destroying everything in their path. There's no bargaining with them. They won't stop until everything is dead" Shiro says. Everyone stares at Hunk. 
"...Oh never mind then. The Blue Lion leaves the Earth's atmosphere and a warship from the Galra Empire suddenly appears. Everyone gasps.
"Uh... Holy crow! Is that really and alien ship?!" Hunk asks.
 "They found me..." Shiro mutters and Y/N looks at him. The Galra warship opens fire.
"We've got to get out of here" Pidge shots. 
"Hang on" Lance yells. Lance pilots to dodge the onslaught of laser guns. "All right. Okay, I think I know what to do" Pidge leans
"Be careful, man. This isn't a simulator" 
 "Well, that's good. I always wreck the Simulator" Lance uses the Blue Lion's mouth cannon to blast the length of the warship  "Let's try this" Lance uses the Blue Lion's claw to tear into the warship's side.
Nice job, Lance" Shiro praises.
"Okay, I think it's time we get these guys away from our planet" Lance says. The Galra warship peruses the Blue Lion.
"Oh, no!" 
"They're gaining on us" Y/N warns. 
"It's weird. They're not trying to shoot at us, there just chasing" Lance says.
"Okay,  seriously, now we think having aliens follow us is good? I am not on board with this new direction, guys"
"Where are we?" Keith asks.
"Edge of the solar system. There's Kerberos" Shiro says, pointing out Kerberos.
"It takes months for our ships to get out this far." Pidge said. 
"We got out here 5 seconds" Y/N adds. A Wormhole appears before them.
"What is that?!" Hunk said.
"Uh, this may seem crazy, but I think the Lion wants us to go through there"
"Where does it go?" Pidges questions.
I-I don't know. , you're the senior officer here. What should we do?" Everyone looks to him.
"Whatever is happening, the lion knows more than we do. I say we trust it, but we're a team now. We should decide together" The team looks at each other in silence. Pidge puts his hand on Lance's shoulder.
"...All right. Guess we're all ditching class tomorrow" The Blue Lion enters the Wormhole and is disappears before the Galra warship can follow.
==
The team groans from the turbulence of the Wormhole and exit to a different part of the universe.
"Whoa. That was..." Lance starts.
"Amazing!" Y/N eyes sparkled. Hunk grunts and vomits in the Blue Lion, but pauses.
So sorry-" He says, before continuing to vomit. Lance looks away in disgust and Y/N laughs.
"Poor Hunk" 
"I'm just surprised it took this long" Pidge says, readjusting his glasses.
"I don't recognize any of these constellations. We must be a long, long way from Earth." Shiro said. 
"The lion seems to want to go to this planet... I think its going home" As the Blue Lion blasts towards the planet, entering its atmosphere, the team huddles closer together from the intense turbulence.
 "Guys, personal space. Hunk, your breath is killing me. Only Y/N can be in my personal space" Lance smirks. 
"Lance" Y/N says, hitting his head.
Ow!"
"Don't forget she's my sister, Lance" Shiro says with his arms crossed. Lance could feel the stares before Hunk breaks the tension.
"Um, is it just me or is anyone else having second thoughts about flying through a mysterious ? Why are we listening to a robotic lion anyway?" Y/N raised her hand. 
"I don't regret it" She says.
"It got us away from an alien warship, didn't it" Lance says.
"I don't know if you noticed, but we're in an alien warship" Keith said. Lance smirks.
Oh, are you scared"
"With you at the helm... Terrified" Lance gives him an annoyed look.
"All right, knock it off! No one's happy to be in this situation, but we're here now. If we want to get through this, we've got to do it together" Shiro looks to Y/N and whispers "How'd you put up with them"
"Practice" She whispers back.
"What do we do?" Pidge asks.
"First, we find out where we're heading, Lance" Shiro says, looking at Lance
"I don't know" Lance looks at the group "I'm sorry. The Lion's not talking to me anymore. ... Wait! Wait, wait, wait! Shh! Listen. I think I hear something" A hig-pitches squeal sounds.
"I'm hearing it, too" Y/N said. Lance smirks.
"It's kind of a- high pitched squeal?" The "High-pitches squeal, slowly turns into a farts; the team holds their noses in disgust and Lance continues to smirk.
"Come on. Lance!" Shiro, Keith, Hunk says.
"Good god, Lance, that's disgusting!" Y/N says.
"But seriously, there's a castle up ahead" Everyone's amazed as the Blue Lion approaches the Castle and the latent Castleship reactivates. The Lion lands in the courtyard.
"Wow" Keith says.
"Keep your guard up" Shiro says.
"Something wrong?" 
"My crew was captured by aliens once. I'm not going to let it happen again" After the team exits the Blue Lion, it stands up, startling everyone.
"Oh no! Oh no! I knew it was going to eat us! No" Hunk cries. The Blue Lion roars, opening the Castleship's doors. Hunk cowers behind Shiro and Y/N until the doors finish opening "Oh, the door is open" Hunk looks back at the Lion "Guess I was wrong about you" 
==
The eerie silence bemuses the team as they enter the vestibule.
"Hellooo?" Hunk's voice echoes in the emptiness while everyone stares at him, startled. Hunk shrugs.
"From the size of the lion, I expected these steps to be bigger" Pidge says. A beam of light appears as the vestibule activates. Everyone gasps. 
"Hold for identity scan" The Computer says.
"What?" Y/N says. 
"Why are we here? What do you want with us?" Shiro shouts, looking up.
 "Whoa" Pidge and Lance said. Crystal torches light up a path.
"I guess we're going that way." As the team goes forward, more crystal torches ignite to lead them deeper inside. Hunk's voice echoes as he calls out.
"Hello? ... Hellooo?"
"Where are we?" Lance asks. The team arrives at the sleep chamber of the Castleship.
"Hello?"
"Where are we?" Y/N asks.
"It's some kind of control room" The console Pidge is looking at suddenly activates and two sleep pods rise from the floor. 
"Are these guys... dead?" Hunk asks, hiding behind the control panel. One of the sleep pods opens, revealing a woman as she instantly awakens.
"Father!" She gasps. Lance immediately catches the women in his arms. He blushes at the sight of her and dons a suave persona.
"Hello~" Lance flirts.
"Who are you?" She looks around "Where am I?"
"I'm Lance. And you're right here in my arms" He flirts.
 "Your... ears" Lance looks confused.
"...Yeah?" He questions. The woman gives Lance a disgusted look.
"They're hideous. What's wrong with them?" Y/N muffles her laugh with her hand, as Lance gets slightly angry.
"Nothing's wrong with them! They heard exactly what you said about them" The woman grabs Allura by the ears and puts him in a restraining hold. Y/N bursts out laughing. Tears well up in Lance's eyes. Y/N laughter dies down after seeing the woman's distressed look.
"Who are you? Where is King Alfor? What are you doing in my castle?" She continued to pull his ear. 
"A giant blue lion brought us here. That's all we know" Lance cries out. The woman lets go of Lance's ear, looking at the group.
"How do you have the Blue Lion? What happened to its paladin? What are you all doing here?" Lance stands up, holding his ear "Unless... How long has it been?"
 "We don't know what you're talking about. Why don't you tell us who you are? Maybe we can help." Shiro says, Hunk hiding behind him.
"I am Princess Allura of Planet Altea. I've got to find out where we are and how long we've been asleep" Allura accesses the control by placing her hands on it; a screen appears.
"Okay, that's how that works.". Then second sleep pod opens, revealing a man with orange hair and moustache. He gasps at the sight of Lance. Everyone turns to face him.
"E-Enemy combatants!" The jumps towards Lance but he side-steps him, making the man lose his balance, holding onto the other sleep pod for support "Quiznak! You're lucky I have a case of the old sleep chamber knees." Otherwise, I'd grab your head like this, wrap you up like so - and one, two, three--" The man imitates his fighting moves and snaps his fingers "--"Sleepy time!"
"Well, before you did that, I'd - Hoo! Ha! Hiyah!" Lance imitates rudimentary karate "-Like that"
"Oh, Really? How could you do that when I've already come at you with this?" The orange haired man bends down and pretends to strike repeatedly. Y/N shakes her head "Ha, ha, ha, ha-ey!!" 
"Actual, children" She mutters.
"Man, these guys are good" Hunk says.
 "It can't be..." Allura's says. 
"What is it" Orange man asks. Everyone turns their attention to Allura.
"We've been asleep for 10,000 years"
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luknnnnn · 2 years
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YOUR NEW BOSS:
You got a new job working at a clothing factory in the area that makes and receives calls from customers. Honestly, you weren’t very good at your job and your boss knew that. One morning the boss called you into his office, he was a tall, hot, hunk of a man. His big brown eyes sparkles as they looked at you. But that isn’t what you noticed most, what you noticed was his giant, suited ass. The boss, or Chuck, walked over to his windows and closed the blinds. You already knew something was off. “Justin, I hate to say that you have been failing in your department of work,” Chuck said. “However, there is a way you could make it up to me to keep your job,” your body filled with terror. He started walking toward you, he stood right in front of you and turned around. In that very moment, he took his big hand and shoved your face in his ass. You could feel your nose being pressed up against his hole, but his tight pant suit prevented you from being pushed all the way in. “How does it feel down there, Justin?” Chuck asked you. You couldn’t answer and he knew you couldn’t, he just enjoyed the humiliation. He stopped for a moment, but he wasn’t done with you yet. He told you to lay down, but you just sat there, shocked from what had just happened. “I said lay down!” he said with a loud stern voice. You lay down like he commands and he steps over your face. There you are looking straight up into his crotch and ass. He slowly starts to squat over your face, and then he starts to wiggle his ass right over your face. He got onto his knees and rested his big butt right on your face, he started to rub his ass against your face. He rubbed his ass forward and backward, right to left, and even started bouncing a few times. Then it finally happened, the one thing you thought he would never do was now a reality, he farted so many times your nose burned with fire. “Sorry,” he said, “I just ate some egg salad for lunch, could you do me a favor, though, could you sniff up all that gas so I ain’t gotta smell it, thanks,” you started sniffing up his awful gas. Your boss was now more than just a coworker, you will have to endure his massive ass if you want to keep your job. “Now you go back to work and do a better job or this will be worse next time!” He said to me as I walked out the door. “Oh, one more thing, I have some friends going camping with me this Saturday and I want you to come,. Just a warning, there pretty gassy, but we’ll have lots of fun. See you then!” I was dreading the thought of him and his gassy friends sitting on my face, but that was for another time.
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Thoughts on Mexican men farts?
20 / 10 / 2023
ASK ANSWERED
My opinion on Mexican men's farts
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I honestly thinks they are the worst, because i ate mexican yesterday with some friends, and i felt gassier than in my everyday life (it is rare for me to farts, and when i do it's small and silents farts). And it was really stinky. ..
I think it's linked to their food, which is really tasty of course , but burritos and tacos and quesadillas seems to give gas to people 🌯🌮. I took a burrito, and it's been a while since i ate that. My friends all took quesadillas. Then we went to cinema (i'll soon publish my review of the movie i saw).
After the film, one of my friends - a tall guy - said to one of our friends (a girl) that he wanted to farts during all the movie (which was really long) and that he felt gassy 🤣 !
Here are links about handsome Mexican men
youtube
@gassybud @fartsandfacesitting @gassyguys @gassymexican @farts-forever @fartsmellafiction @fartsandotherstink
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Tanuki girl getting a nice pot filled with curry. That makes her really gassy.
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"Yay! Uuff.... Curry!"
Taking the big pot with both of her hammy hands, she takes the pot to her lips and leaned back, tilting it so she can eat/drink it down steadily. The rich taste of cream blend of spices and coconut are welcome, hunks of meat and some veggies being gulped down alongside the sauce of the curry.
It doesn't take too long for it to be drained down into her, the tanuki exhaling with a smile on her face. There's some residue dribbling down her chins but Michiru is too content to care.
And so her stomach gurgles loudly~
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gassybots · 2 years
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Now I'm curious what all of your btd6 ships are, and maybe how each one would react to being gassy around one another?
OOOH okay I have a few ideas
Quincy/Etienne: This relationship is basically just powerbottom central, Etienne has all the control in the bedroom and Quincy does what he's told. Reg Quincy's got a big gas fetish himself (that he hasn't told him about), so Etienne's casual gaseousness makes him pop a boner nearly every time. It's really only a matter of time before he asks E to sit on his face.
With Wolfpack it's a complete switch, as I've mentioned before, Etienne is little more than a glorified sex toy to him in the bedroom (not in a creepy way, Etienne wants this) If E is gassy around him Wolfy just doesn't care and tends to blast his own gas to show solidarity
Obyn/Churchill: Much of a similar dynamic to Quincienne, but Churchill is like this nearly all the time and with EVERY Obyn. He see's a big, burly hunk of a monkey, with nothing but utmost care for the life around him and you can just call him Old Dog Sanctuary. He just wants to get dicked down again.
Since Churchill is self-conscious about being viewed as weak, he tries everything in his power to try and hide his feelings and gas from everyone, which can lead to disastrous consequences. Only ever REALLY fully relaxes when he's alone, waiting until he can get home so he can release all the gas that was building up during the day.
The first time he ever farted in front of Obyn he felt like he was going to die, but luckily for him. Obyn doesn't give a shit. This man quite literally shits in the woods, so he's very encouraging of Churchill, telling him it's not healthy to keep it all in, and that he shouldn't be embarrassed of perfectly normal bodily functions.
Gwen/Ezili: Ok, so these two ladies are the classic example of a couple that is SUPER into each other's gas. They like to fart around each other, both publicly and privately and have little to no shame about it.
They sometimes like to have friendly contests after meals, Gwen has more powerful farts, but they're airy. Ezili doesn't have as much gas but it brews for longer, leaving her with deep, bubbly farts that tend to sputter out.
They like to switch it up in the bedroom, but mostly just the power dynamics, Gwen usually tops since she's got a dick, but Ezili does also like to peg her every now and again. Gwen is a VERY big fan of the romantic candle trope, but like. We're talking about a lot of candles, enough to cause a fire hazard because. Yanno. Gwen.
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edging-mutt · 6 months
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Help! - Cursed Swap
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Please, you've gotta help me! When @possessionsofhunks offered to swap my body for this stud, I didn't imagine that this is what would happen!
bbbratRAPBRAPrappt Uggggh... Sorry, that one squeezed out... Felt good though...
Obviously I accepted the swap without hesitation. I had seen this beautiful gassy hunk at the gym, and had been thirsting after his gorgeous muscles and adorable belly for months. burrRBRUUUPBUUUurrtprtprrr I always knew this stud was a bit gassy. I thought it was pretty hot how he would casually drop his guts from time to time. PRABRABAPAPApapprprprubbubbub But this is different. My guts just keep bloating up with gas.
It's part of the curse! For some reason bbrAT- I can't -PRABRAAPR- stop -RAPPPARARARUBUBRBRUBTubtubbb farting. It's like my intestines keep pumping out more gas to keep my belly inflated, no matter how much BRUBWURBRUBUUuubrubPRAPUUUBRrrrpt ...escapes.
But that's nothing compared to the real curse. The real curse is this cock. I'm more horny than I've ever been before, and far more sensitive. I can feel every... single... drop of precum as it rolls out of my cock and floods my foreskin... Christ, just gently brushing my nipple makes my hard-on shudder...
My clothes rub against something sensitive no matter what I do. It feels like I'm constantly being groped, and I've spent every available moment stroking my new attention-seeking 10 incher. Despite constantly being edged, I haven't been able to cum.
It's been three weeks now, and I must have spent a few hundred hours desperately gooning my cock... I can tell that this body is producing more cum than normal, and I can't empty my balls. Seriously, each of my balls is like a water balloon. They ache from how swollen and stretched they are, and I can feel all that pent up cum sloshing and churning. I don't know why I can't cum, but I haven't heard from the guy who did the swap at all in all this time. I think he muttered something about hypnosis...
I don't know what to do. I can't stop blasting ass - BRANNTPRABRUNTRUMBUBUBUuuuuubbbbbrrupruprup - fuuuuuccck that one was hot...
And my massive, swollen, water balloon nuts are still brewing up more hot spunk.
Someone please help me! Please I'm so horny... I just gotta cum... Please... Balls... So full... Gotta... bbubpubppulurBURBLURWURBPTABRATRATPRatappappprrrBURBRUMRUUMMBBBRRRUUURP ... Ooooonggggh so fucking hot... So gassy... WURBRUBBRUBURPLURBrap So horny... Gotta cum... So full.... Please...
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Please dm me if you think you can help... My balls are so full, and I can't stop farting!
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stinkfacestories · 3 months
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Anyone want another Jason Kelce stinkface story? Like this to vote!
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gayfartsworld · 3 years
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The fart sofa -
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As they all sat on the new provided sofa, Jason the left side let a huge wet one rip. He shuffled around afterwards to get comfortable.
Alex in the middle, smelt the air as he looked at Mike on the right, he then leant over, Mike spotting this and PPPPPPPPHHhHHrryytttt! Mike sniffed it up as he as well let one rip.
‘This feels so good!’
He let another rip this time, timing it right as Jason on the other side let one rip simultaneously at the same time. The air around them started to stink as the three men sat stirring in their gases. A mix of beef stroganoff and rotten onion permeated through the room and even the house.
As they watched the clips on Alex’s phone, he remembered what the new sofa had. He almost forgot. He flicked a switch on his phone from an app named ‘Fart filtration 2.0 Human edition’ As he switched it holes appeared through the material as your face and body was now more at the mercy of the three gentleman than before.
All of them looking into the holes as you looked back at the three men who would give you their asses for one reason. FARTS. As they looked, the pattern shirted man sat down on the whole right near your face, you heard unbuttoning and his trousers slay were pulled down revealing two globes of ass. The two others grew shocked as....
SSSSSS -SSpPpPhHhhHRrrRtTtT!!!
A wet sounding ripple burst out of Jason’s cheeks.
‘Damn that felt good!’ His face changed for a minute. ‘Not finished yet!!’ He pushed and his ass exploded with tow to three farts, it feeing for you like an almighty fart of just one.
‘You should really try this’ said Jason as his ass and dick flopped as he moved out the way. Alex, the one on the right undid his trousers too and pulled down his Calvin Klein boxers. He hesitated looked down at you.
‘Just to warn ya, I had a curry last night!’ He then spun round as you were greeted to a hairy ass, much bigger than his buddies before. His buddy sat next to him, let one rip too. They both stared over at each other as they both concentrated letting a shovel baritone sound serenade the sofa as-well as your face.
‘How did you not tell us bout’ this earlier!’ The two friends looked at their buddy. He shrugged. And sat down on one of the three holes and let a tiny one rip which stank up the chamber you were in straight away. The other buddy sat on the remaining hole and you were now trapped into the storage unit of sorts your body was in.
The three buddies looked at each other and strained.
Ppppphhhrrttttt! The first fart!
Ssssgggghrt! The second and the last...
PPpPpPpPppPpPpPppPpPptrRRrRtTtTtTtTt!!!!!
They all look at each and laugh. He pulls out his phone and goes back to watching videos. They all just sat there, letting rip as they watched and they’d be there for a long time to come.
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yuckybusiness2 · 8 months
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how do you feel about glamrock freddy... as a big hairy beerbellied gassy hunk?
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Big Bear Belching
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Can I be transformed into a toilet or dirty tighty whities for a sadistic, beefy man who transformed me and gleefully torments me with his farts, skids, and shit?
You were at the local club,enjoying the music and your drink,when a big,beefy man walked up and sat beside you,smiling at you.He put his hand on your shoulder,saying “You’re perfect” as you felt a tingling sensation.You couldn't respond,feeling very disoriented.”You don't look too good,let me take ya somewhere safe hehe” grabbing you and bringing you out.You passed out as the both of you walked out of the building...
“Wake up!” you snap into consciousness,quickly realising you are unable to move,but feel very cold.You see that man from the club towering above you,looming like a giant,with a sadistic grin on his face
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.You wondered where you were,was it a toilet? you thought to yourself.Why did the hunk seem so big?
The man smirked down to you,as he unbuckled his belt and pulled down his pants.You saw his jockstrap was filthy,brown and grimey.He then took off the jockstap and took a deep sniff and saying “Damn,this guy stinks good!” before throwing it to the floor.There seemed to be a face on it.You could do noting but watch as he scratched his balls before he suddenly sat on you.You struggled,to no avail.You could only sit and feel his warm asscheeks press down on you.”Never turned a boy into a toilet before hehe,this is gonna be fun...” ‘What! a toilet,i cant be a toilet’ you thought to yourself,but before you could make another thought,your new owner let out a gassy fart.You could smell and taste the putrid gas,and as much as you struggled,there was no release.You heard your master let out a hearty laugh,before saying “Heres a welcome gift,bitch!” as he sent a stinking log right into your mouth,followed by soiled toilet paper.Your vision was obscured by the shit on you,but you could make out the mans grin as he pulled your handle,forcing you to swallow.You could feel a skid dragged onto you as your water swirled down your pipe throat.This went on for weeks,you were just a bitch toilet boy now,much to your masters delight and glee.He loved using you and torturing you,even jerking off into you every once in a while.Seeing you slowly become dirty and grimy filled his mind with joy.
After a few weeks your mind gave in completely,you were just his nasty toilet waiting in the cold,dark bathroom for your master to use you again...
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glittercornmovies · 3 years
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Good afternoon (at least, it’s afternoon in the Central Time Zone)! I just found not one, but 2 device chargersI’ve been looking for for-fucking-EVER, so it’s shaping up to be a GREAT day for me today! How are y’all? Good? Bad? Indifferent? Misanthropic? Gassy? I really wanna know. Tell me all about it! I’m here, and I’m a SUPER good listener. I’ll also dispense all the shitty life advice you could ever ask for, advice I don’t even take for myself! But, this isn’t about me, it’s all about YOU! Drop a comment down below, or drop me a DM, if that makes you feel more comfortable. NOTICE: I am in a happy, committed relationship with a VERY sexy hunk of a man, so despite the fact that I am pan, please, NO JUNK OR TIT PICS. I have absolutely NO interest in seeing your cock, cunt (my favorite word, FYI), or tits, please and thank. Maybe your ass, though...especially if you’re in a jock strap. Jocks are unisex, by the way. Fight me. I wear them sometimes and they make me feel sexier than the frilliest, daintiest little slip of “female” lingerie (which is ALSO unisex, dig? Cool. 👍🏻). By the way, I’ve also just gotten myself a brand spankin’ new Talkatone number (it’s an app. I know it’s on the Apple App Store because I use an iPhone. Not as sure if they have it for Android, too, but I think they do. With this number we can even talk over the phone, and if too many of you try and prank me, I can “burn” the phone number and create a new one. Pretty spiffy, eh? So, yeah, if you’re going through it, or just bored, gimme a ring-a-ding-ding! Note: This is *NOT* my actual mobile phone number, so no funny business! The number is +1 (903) 341-9480! Just so we’re all on the same page, I can ONLY speak English, If you can’t speak English, we will have a difficult time trying to communicate. I’ve spent so much of my life devoted to learning the ins and outs of the English language that my stoopid American brain has no room for any other language. :-/ In closing, let me know how your day is going and if it’s not going well, I’m sending lots of love, good vibes, and virtual Glittercorn hugs your way! #MuchLove 💜🏳️‍🌈💜🏳️‍⚧️💜 (at East Texas) https://www.instagram.com/p/CP8pHRwlPPa/?utm_medium=tumblr
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submissivegayfrenchboy · 10 months
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Would love to see a story where the twink bottom has farts so noxious he ends up being in charge
17 / 07 / 2023
ASK ANSWERED
REQUEST ABOUT A GASSY DOM BOTTOM
Interesting idea, since it's realistic, but i am not too much into twinks being dominant. However, maybe someone strong and tall but shy and submissive could be dominated by someone short and skinny but dominant. That could be surprising to see him fart on his submissive hunk boyfriend.
These incredible cartoons give you an idea of what i am thinking about a dom bottom.
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I think it's funny to see someone cute and small being the dominant one in a gay relationship where the tall muscled one is a submissive guy who obey his twink boyfriend
So i keep in mind your story and I'll try to do it. The dom man could also be an celeb alpha
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