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orthodoxydaily · 3 years

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Saints&Reading: Fri., May, 14, 2021

May 1/May 14

The Holy Prophet Jeremiah (650 BC)

The Holy Prophet Jeremiah, one of the four great Old Testament prophets, was son of the priest Helkiah from the city of Anathoth near Jerusalem, and he lived 600 years before the Birth of Christ, under the Israelite king Josiah and four of his successors. He was called to prophetic service in his 15th year of life, when the Lord revealed to him, that even before his birth the Lord had assigned him to be a prophet. Jeremiah refused, pointing to his own youthfulness and lack of skill at speaking, but the Lord promised to be always with him and to watch over him. He touched the mouth of the chosen one and said: "Lo I do put Mine words into thy mouth, I do entrust unto thee from this day the fate of nations and kingdoms. By thine prophetic word wilt they fall and rise up" (Jer. 1: 9-10). And from that time Jeremiah prophesied for twenty-three years, denouncing the Jews for abandoning the True God and worshipping idols, predicting for them woes and devastating wars. He stood by the gates of the city, and at the entrance to the Temple, everywhere where the people gathered, and he exhorted them with imprecations and often with tears. But the people answered him with mockery and abuse, and they even tried to kill him.

Depicting the slavery to the king of Babylon impending for the Jews, Jeremiah at the command of God put on his own neck at first a wooden, and then an iron yoke, and thus he went about among the people. Enraged at the dire predictions of the prophet, the Jewish elders threw the Prophet Jeremiah into an imprisoning pit, filled with horrid slimy creatures, where he all but died. Through the intercession of the God-fearing royal-official Habdemelek, the prophet was pulled out of the pit but he did not cease with the prophecies, and for this he was carted off to prison. Under the Jewish king Zedekiah his prophesy was fulfilled: Nebuchadnezzar came, made slaughter of the nation, carried off a remnant into captivity, and Jerusalem was pillaged and destroyed. Nebuchadnezzar released the prophet from prison and permitted him to live where he wanted. The prophet remained at the ruins of Jerusalem and bewailed the misfortune of his fatherland. According to tradition, the Prophet Jeremiah took the Ark of the Covenant with the Law‑Tablets and hid it in one of the caves of Mount Nabath (Nebo), such that the Jews were no more able to find it (2 Mac. 2). Afterwards a new Ark of the Covenant was fashioned, but it lacked in the glory of the first. Among the Jews remaining in their fatherland there soon arose internecine clashes: the viceroy of Nebuchadnezzar, Hodoliah, was murdered, and the Jews, fearing the wrath of Babylon, decided to flee into Egypt. The Prophet Jeremiah disagreed with their intention, predicting that the punishment which they feared, would befall them in Egypt. But the Jews would not hearken to the prophet, and taking him by force with them, they went into Egypt and settled in the city of Tathnis. And there the prophet lived for four years and was respected by the Egyptians, since with his prayer he killed crocodiles and other nasty creatures infesting these parts. But when he began to prophesy, that the king of Babylon would invade the land of Egypt and annihilate the Jews settled in it, the Jews then murdered the Prophet Jeremiah. In that very same year the prophesy of the saint was fulfilled. There exists a tradition, that 250 years later Alexander the Great of Macedonia transported the relics of the holy Prophet Jeremiah to Alexandria. The Prophet Jeremiah wrote his Book of "Prophesies" ("Jeremiah"), and also the Book of "Lamentations", – about the Desolation of Jerusalem and the Exile. The times in which he lived and prophesied are spoken of in the 4th (2nd) Book of Kings (Ch. 23-25) and in the 2nd Book of Chronicles (36: 12) and in 2 Maccabbees (Ch. 2). In the Gospel of Matthew it points out, that the betrayal of Judas was foretold by the Prophet Jeremiah: "And they took thirty pieces of silver, the price of Him on Whom the sons of Israel had set a price, and they gave them over for the potter's field, as did say the Lord unto me" (Mt. 27: 9-10).

The PriestMartyr Makarius, Metropolitan of Kiev (1497)

The PriestMartyr Makarii, Metropolitan of Kiev, was earlier the archimandrite of the Vilensk Holy Trinity monastery. In 1495, after the death of the Kiev metropolitan, Jona with the Ankle, Makarii was chosen and ordained in his place by an assembly of hierarchs: Vassian of Vladimir, Luke of Polotsk, Vassian of Turov and Jona of Lutsk. Papers of blessing were sent from Constantinople by the patriarch, Nymphontes, confirming the selection of Saint Makarii to the Kiev metropolitan cathedra-seat. On 1 May 1497 Tatars which invaded the Russian Land killed the Metropolitan of Kiev and All Rus' Makarii in the village of Strigolovo, at the River Vzhischa, where the saint was making Divine-services. Together with him were killed or taken into captivity many of his flock. The holy relics of Saint Makarii, glorified by God both undecayed and by miracles, rest now at Kiev at the Vladimir cathedral church.

John 5:30-6:2

30 I can of Myself do nothing. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is righteous, because I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me. 31 If I bear witness of Myself, My witness is not true. 32 There is another who bears witness of Me, and I know that the witness which He witnesses of Me is true. 33 You have sent to John, and he has borne witness to the truth. 34 Yet I do not receive testimony from man, but I say these things that you may be saved. 35 He was the burning and shining lamp, and you were willing for a time to rejoice in his light. 36 But I have a greater witness than John's; for the works which the Father has given Me to finish-the very works that I do-bear witness of Me, that the Father has sent Me. 37 And the Father Himself, who sent Me, has testified of Me. You have neither heard His voice at any time, nor seen His form. 38 But you do not have His word abiding in you, because whom He sent, Him you do not believe. 39 You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and these are they which testify of Me. 40 But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life. 41 I do not receive honor from men.42 But I know you, that you do not have the love of God in you.43 I have come in My Father's name, and you do not receive Me; if another comes in his own name, him you will receive.44 How can you believe, who receive honor from one another, and do not seek the honor that comes from the only God? 45 Do not think that I shall accuse you to the Father; there is one who accuses you-Moses, in whom you trust. 46 For if you believed Moses, you would believe Me; for he wrote about Me. 47 But if you do not believe his writings, how will you believe My words?

1After these things Jesus went over the Sea of Galilee, which is the Sea of Tiberias. 2 Then a great multitude followed Him, because they saw His signs which He performed on those who were diseased.

Acts 5:1-11

1But a certain man named Ananias, with Sapphira his wife, sold a possession. 2 And he kept back part of the proceeds, his wife also being aware of it, and brought a certain part and laid it at the apostles' feet. 3 But Peter said, "Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and keep back part of the price of the land for yourself? 4 While it remained, was it not your own? And after it was sold, was it not in your own control? Why have you conceived this thing in your heart? You have not lied to men but to God. 5 Then Ananias, hearing these words, fell down and breathed his last. So great fear came upon all those who heard these things. 6 And the young men arose and wrapped him up, carried him out, and buried him. 7 Now it was about three hours later when his wife came in, not knowing what had happened. 8 And Peter answered her, "Tell me whether you sold the land for so much?" She said, "Yes, for so much." 9 Then Peter said to her, "How is it that you have agreed together to test the Spirit of the Lord? Look, the feet of those who have buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out." 10 Then immediately she fell down at his feet and breathed her last. And the young men came in and found her dead, and carrying her out, buried her by her husband. 11 So great fear came upon all the church and upon all who heard these things.

#orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #originofchristianity #spirituality #holy scripture #gospel #wisdom

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pavlikovskaya · 4 years

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the secret history live blogged

forever mad that i got spoilered so much on this book.

anyway hello! and welcome to this … shit fest of the secret history by donna tartt aka the biggest letdown of my life

enjoy! i didn’t

ok whaatttt the fuck. he was walked over?? he was packed and squished under ice?? WHAT DID THIS BUNNY GUY DO TO MAKE Y’ALL SO MAD????? istg what the fuck. cruel cruel fate

four against one, i knew y’all were assholes. you sounded like assholes before i even knew what your names were.

i have to say, i’m not a very big fan on the beginning: hello, my name is richard, i am 28, this is my story. makes it sound like he’s in an AA meeting, but i’ll let this one slide.

years at home dispensable like a plastic cup? fictional history and upbringing tales? [*clears throat in relatable*]

my father was mean, my house ugly, my mum didn’t give me attention, must kill someone to cope and serve the aesthetic™ of rejected, unloved child, brooding and mad at the world. got it.

if richard, plain and poor is the one who kills the rich asshole bc he’s a rich asshole, i might relate to him more than i thought.

[*slams book shut*] okay. okay. am i gonna have to google every other phrase in this godforsaken history book or is donna gonna go easy on my ass?

sounds like a university i would love to go to. oh, pardon me, CoLlEgE.

wait, they’d pay him back for the plane if he GOT IN??? and if he didn’t well then what, soz dude, tough luck , such is life, see ya never? makes a lot of sense. should pay him back regardless imo but hey, i had to pay £50 six times to audition at universities who, all six times, rejected me, so.

three days on a bus and arrival at six in the morning? i cannot fathom a worse scenario.

this prof conducts his selection on a personal level rather than on an academic one, said with a note of sarcasm? is he … you know … ?

ahhhh these saucy saucy tea spilling french people, gotta love em. ‘listen, i know i’ve only met you three minutes ago, but i’m bout to spill some serious tea which i must ask you to keep to yourself and never mention for i have some formidable enemies in the literature division, yes, my very own department, but we all actually love each other. you know, in a very shakespearian ‘i shall murder you at the end of the play but for now, let’s make sweet love under the stars as a witch friend of mine who will later murder you watches’ way. all very platonic. but don’t say a word of it.’

who do you think was with morrow when richard came to see him in the lyceum and what were they talking about? GODDAMN IT, this french bastard put me in a gossipy mood.

bunny — short for edmund…….

god, i love a redhead.

richard and me being whipped by francis and his long, flapping black coats, love to see it.

‘pseudo-intellects and teenage decadents abounded and black clouting was de rigueur’ can I enrol ~now~????

francis talks to cats and bunny yells from his window down at the incest twins to stop snogging in the garden. i can’t wait to see which one am I at the end of the book

henry and julian driving off together? do i smell something…. gay?

THEY WRITE WITH FOUNTAIN PENS????? [*flashbacks from my childhood intensify*].

i do not understand most of these references or sentences and if the whole book is like this, i will throw myself out the window in attempted suicide even though i live on the ground floor.

i have absolutely no idea what they’re on about.

hwhat

francis in black cashmere and cigarette smoke brushed past him and almost touched his arm. how bloody delicious is this??

‘give him some flowers and he’ll enrol you.’ ok, julian is definitely the gay prof everyone falls for.

at this stage, i would rater have voted we kill henry, not bunny, but we’ll see.

‘i was tired of being poor.’ [*buys a tie with pictures of men hunting deer on it*] ‘that’s better.’

‘i believe that it is better to know one book intimately than a hundred superficially.’ donna tartt gave me the book and the reason both.

constantly chuckling at the way richard is so completely mesmerised and intimidated by francis to the point that he’ll duck into a doorway to let him pass even though they’re going to the same lesson.

I don’t know how a ‘bostonian voice’ is supposed to sound like so francis will be slightly british in my mind for the rest of the book.

cubitum eamus? cubitum. eamus? CUBITUM?? EAMUS????? OH! GOD! HELP ME! THE SWEET SWEET HOMOEROTIC FORESHADOWING OF IT ALL!!! throwback to when, in a much too similar vein, boris, upon being asked by theo to say something in russian for him, he said ‘fuck you up the ass’. my heart is racing with yearn. i can’t fucking believe i just read this. it’s time to bust out the annotation tabs again.

oh my gooooddd whAt is henry’s problem????? he reminds me slightly of number one from the umbrella academy, but in a meaner, more show-offy, bastardish way that’s supposed to showcase his superior intelligence over all mortals like fuck you, go read harry potter and chill.

‘meke (s.p.) you Wear it’? i take it meke is actually make but what on earth is (s.p.)? google gave me 238 possible definitions for that acronym and, needless to say, i didn’t bother.

i love how donna’s main characters are funny essentially bc they’re bitches towards other people they deem inferior to them in their internal monologues.

if you were drunk and ‘slam-dancing’ at a party, i don’t have to be stuck up or elitist to judge you and hate on you. even less so if you throw your beer in my face.

‘love that jacket, silk, isn’t it?’ ‘yep, my grandfather’s. totally not from that annoying girl in my dorm whose mate your mates beat up at a party last term for shoving camilla and throwing a beer in her face and who probably only gave me the jacket because she wants to fuck me, nope.’

‘let me get that door for you.’ that’s it, that’s the tweet.

when bunny said they should round up the ‘officious fags and burn them at the stake’ i yelled the loudest what the fuck i’ve ever yelled at a book. i can see now why they killed him. and i bet that’s only the tip of the iceberg.

okay, his true colours are starting to show. it’s even more unnerving when i think about the fact that like half of this stuff is supposed to be true.

called it, they’re boning.

i can’t wait until francis locks lips with richard. i am simply tingling for it. i hope he and camilla have a threesome with richard at this country house. oh wait no, they’re all here. eh, maybe another time.

oh, we finally get some juicy inside gossip

if francis and richard don’t fuck in that gorgeous immense library, i will riot.

okay, what’s henry’s deal? he’s nice now? and he’s oddly … interested in/caring towards richard? like who the fuck says ‘i hope you slept well’ without at least a little affection towards them.

AHAHAHAAHA, NOW I GET ALL THOSE MOON LANDING QUESTIONS ON THE TSH RELATED UQIZZES I STUPIDLY TOOK. I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS REAL. imagine them lot in present day completely bewildered and confused at the fact that the whole world is in lockdown for some weird fucking reason. this is the funniest shit ever, swear to god.

dogs get heart attacks?

wow they’re being dicks. that shady shit they’re doing’s so fucking rude aajksdhfkfh and to think i had initially thought richard was the ‘leader’ of their group...

okay, they’re either all into bdsm or they’re some odd breed of late vampires who don’t have much of the traits/qualities of ‘classic’ vampires as they have possibly diminished over the centuries as the species was becoming extinct. maybe witches. hm. or occultists. I REALLY DON’T KNOW!!

richard be like ‘what should I tell you?’ well—and this is merely a suggestion—, how about you start with what they’re actually doing when they’re not hanging out with you?????

i can’t wait for bunny to figure/find out richard’s not actually rich and be a dick about it.

two months??? what kind of bonkers winter vacation between terms is that???

is being constantly cold part of the dark academia aestehtic? cos it certainly seems to be.

what the fuck are these (sp)s bunny keeps putting in his letters??

i hope somebody (henry, or maybe francis? as something that would bring them together?) is fake rich too.

ouuuuu here comes the dark, mental stuff.

richard dropped out of drama to study the classics. if we were villains is a group of people studying shakespeare. coincidence? i think not. it is with dread that i think at the possibility that i might like the other more because so far, i can’t say i’m heavily impressed with tsh.

now i’m all for weird, fancy names, but marchbanks is really an odd one. who the fuck looks at their newborn baby and goes ben? nah. tom? no. MARCHBANKS! perfect.

henry winter saves richard from a piping cold winter. ah, don’t bother, i’ll do it myself [*jumps out the window*]

henry dislikes electric lights? smokes cigarettes without filter? reads milton translated into latin ‘just to see if a language with no noun cases could possibly support the structural order he attempts to impose’? can this dude be any more pretentious?

BUNNY! IT’S BUNNY! HE’S FAKE RICH THE BASTARD! ALL THAT ‘oops, forgot my wallet’ BULLSHIT, I THOUGHT IT WAS A TEST FOR RICHARD OR JUST RICH PEOPLE LEECHING OFF OTHERS (why spend yours when you can spend theirs?) BUT NOOOO, HE’S BROOOOKE! AND AN ASSHOLE! WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!! serves him right, the asshole (that gay people being burnt at the stake comment really bothered me despite the fact that i laughed). and not only is he broke and leeching off of henry, he leeches in the most shameless, greedy, extravagant and ignorant way, ordering the most expensive thing on the menu fuck out of here.

ha! he got fat the bastard. found some sugar daddy to sustain you during your last month in italy or what?

this rabbit dude sure has some big balls for a broke ass bitch.

‘let me see your head wound.’ vs ‘your arm.’

‘that sort of tension which i, being rather more disinclined that way than not, am quick to pick up on. i had caught a strong breath of it from francis, a whiff of it at times from julian (…)’ sounds like we got another one boys, a straight dude with the best gaydar in the world. that being said, julian is the fakest bitch in the book so far.

this secrecy is killing the ever-loving shit out of me. argentina one way?? whY

lol if you’re gonna steal his book with the intention of having him come back to the apartment and see all that shit, at least don’t put it in such an obvious place where he couldn’t have possibly missed it. for such a smart guy, you sure are dumb, dude.

francis’ mother be like ‘give that bad boy a kiss from me’ and i’m like HE BETTER.

richard the worst liar. just say your mum called for fuck’s sake! you could get your boyfriend in trouble!

cheesecake cover: ‘please do not steal this, i am on financial aid.’ bunny: [*steals it*] the cheesecake: [*sucks*] me: serves you fucking right, pig.

THINKING ABOUT HIS HANDICAP. I’M YELLING. funniest thing donna tartt ever wrote.

i bet they’re all there sat at the table like nothing happened and weren’t supposed to leave anywhere at all.

called it! motherfuckers.

what the hell is going on. are they a gang of assassins or something?

richard: ‘you killed somebody, didn’t you?’ henry: [*laughs as if it was the most ridiculous idea in the world and how could you possibly suggest such a thing*] yep

bunny: gays are weirdly obsessed with food, don’t you think? also bunny: [*gets excluded from the bacchanal because he couldn’t stop eating*]

okay. i can see now why this book started the whole dark academia aesthetic

aight, that’s all good and great (far from it) but WHERE IS MY FRANCIS CONTENT????

going through the motions of hating and liking henry every other chapter.

everybody: [*burning clothes, cleaning the car, running this way and that to get rid of evidence*] francis: aight y’all imma take a power nap real quick cool? cool

there is hardly anything in the world i hate more than loose-of-tongues. bunny and that bitch ass hely from the little friend. god, i want to sock each and every single one of them in their stupid bloody loud mouths.

i want to know, i really want to know if there are any bunny apologists or … s…. s… [*grits teeth*] stans out there. don’t worry, nothing will happen to you, i just wanna talk.

if it’s henry and richard and not francis and richard,,,,, i will riot.

boy this henry guy smokes a lot…. more than me in my prime.

as if this dude reenacted the murder he wasn’t even present at in the lobby of a hotel just to torture henry. i can’t believe this character is still alive and has been for so long.

FINALLY! one francis moment that indicated there will be no more francis moments…. .

funny that, reading the secret history put something into perspective about the goldfinch for me.

i love how richard just casually throws it in there whenever he happens to mention camilla that he loves her and wants to kiss her and that she’s so beautiful and blah blah blah and then it’s never brought up again ever because he’s constantly going on and on about henry.

wait, don’t tell me it’s happening now, in the middle of the book! that would be most unexpected as there’s a whole entire book following.

henry is such a stone cold bitch, i wonder where they put his heart when they made him, in his ass?

don’t tell me henry went boxer dogs on JULIAN?!?!?! he wouldn’t. … would he?

i don’t know. i get it, obviously, the gravity of the situation, but going as far as killing him to silence him is a bit … extreme in my opinion.

thank you, charles, for being the only voice of reason in this madness.

okay, i understand it’s in richard’s best interest not to be involved, but they called him there to what, make him listen to all this and then send him on his merry way?

charles: well, if you wake up intending to murder someone at two o’clock, you hardly think of what you’re going to feed the copse for dinner. [*crickets*] francis: hey, how about asparagus?

henry: someone’s coming. quick! act normal! richard: [*turns to inspect the trunk of a tree*] [*footsteps approach*] richard: [*inspection of tree intensifies!!*]

you’re a bit late, bunny, just saying.

and now what the fuck is the rest of the book about? what do we do, let’s run, let’s stay, let’s go to the police, what do we do with him?

i love how richard describes himself as part of the process: we dwelt on it, we convinced ourselves, we devised plans when in reality, he was only there as an attaché, he wasn’t included much, almost at all in the actual planning process of it other than to give his insight on the poison route because henry thought it was his area of expertise so to speak when, really, it wasn’t and then was told about the other plan because they simply thought he should know. even then henry tells him ‘you can go now, if you like’ because there wasn’t anything they sort of needed him for anymore since he wasn’t going to be there, he was just a pair of ears. i like to think he was there in hopes to maybe dissuade them, try to stop them, tell them how mad it is, tell them there’s another way, but he didn’t do much of that either (not that I think he would’ve succeeded anyway, had he tried, henry’s one stubborn motherfucker). he didn’t come up with shit, he wasn’t supposed to even be there, i think, much less contribute in any way. had bunny not told him about the bacchanal, richard would have probably found out about it after it was already done, he was only included for the fucks of it and yet, he talks as if he was right there in the room with them, brainstorming ideas how to kill him. and i get how it only comes from a sense of obvious guilt because he knew about it, he was there and didn’t do anything to stop it, but he’s by far not one to have agreed to the whole thing or condoned it in any way from what he’s told us in book one. he himself says in the very same paragraph that he only watched. he’s very much a dark academia nick carraway type of character and i hate it. because i like him. he deserves better.

i’m pretty sure that the reason that serial killer autobiography you picked up in an airport was bereft of details is because no publishing house would allow such lurid specifications that might shock, disgust, enrage or give ideas to the reader in their book, not because the author is shy, richard, but ok, let’s move on. actually no, let’s not. you can’t expect the autobiography of a killer to only tell you about the murders, especially since in this particular instance, he was caught and went to prison. of course he’s going to tell you more about that than the killings, have you any idea what prison life is like? how much it eats away at your soul? how it crushes your spirit if you have one and how hard it is to get over? the time he spent in jail is going to haunt him forever and after such a long time in there, however long it was, you hardly think about your crime as anything but a huge mistake that was not worth the torment if you’re not a downright psychopath which, since he came out and wrote a book about it, doesn’t seem to be the case here but i guess you’ll find out all about it soon enough.

OH! a francis moment???? could this be it? please dear god may this be it.

it wasn’t, but there’s another one!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

‘it’s fun, i promise you.’ [*dies*]

if this is it, if that’s all, i am not forgiving this book.

‘i tried to pull him out but it was no good; his head lolled back uselessly’ YEAH. BECAUSE HE’S DEAD, RICHARD. [*scoffs*] ‘uselessly’

i wish i held any of my teachers and professors in at least half the high regard henry holds julian. i also wish they were half as competent and passionate about teaching as julian.

I DON’T BELIEVE ‘HE WAS JUST THERE’. IT’S BORIS AND THEO AT 6 AM IN THAT NEW YORK BAR ALL OVER AGAIN. HE’S ONLY SAYING THAT BECAUSE RICHARD WENT ALL ‘YOU’RE NOT HOT’ ON HIS ASS AND I REFUSE TO BELIEVE OTHERWISE. if they don’t kiss again—

i can’t help but admire the way they communicate sensitive information to each other in ancient greek, they sound like characters from jane austen novels while talking about drugs and saving face from tabloids and gossip, it’s rather amazing.

quite pointless to go through all that trouble to hide the cigarettes and deny having been smoking when the smell will be there no matter what and she’ll know for sure. i swear, all these seemingly smart ass people are actually idiots

my question is why would anyone, drunk or not, for any reason, leave the top down in the rain? why? what possible pleasure could one get from driving in the middle of the rain with rain actually pouring down on them?

isn’t linoleum a bit tacky for a house that looks like it’s been in architectural digest?

why is charles so on edge? why are they all always hiding??? camilla and her late night 3 am phone calls, her secret phone code with henry, charles mysteriously going out for cigarettes so brusquely without a word in the middle of the night and refusing to talk about it, what are they all always hiding?! nobody trusts one another with anything, it’s very annoying, to be honest. aren’t they supposed to be super best friends? you’d think that after a bacchanal and a double homicide, you wouldn’t keep secrets from one another, but i guess not.

ah, shame. was kind of hoping for some sneaky richard/francis basement action, but alas. what’s their ship name anyway, richis?

i just spoilered myself again, twice, by going through the tsh tag on tumblr and then looking for francis/richard fanfics on ao3 and finding out that francis marries? gets with? a girl who’s apparently called fucking priscilla. donna tartt really has a knack for weird fancy names, huh? i’m here for it tbh

richard you fucking snitch! you had one job!!!!!!

why the fuck are they still keeping him in the dark about shit? henry and charles quarrelled and charles is in jail and henry still won’t tell him what’s so bad about it and why he wants richard to handle all this shit instead of him and why bunny’s murder still matters and why why just why are they still using him as their pawn??

seriously, this exchange was about the worst they’ve had so far. he himself knows it: ‘there was a silence during which I felt acutely the hopelessness of ever trying to get to the bottom of anything with henry. he was like a propagandist, routinely withholding information, leaking it only when it served his purposes.’ THEN WALK AWAY. SAY NO. PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN. FUCKING—UGH!!!!!!!

they’re all so shamelessly using him… i can’t read. it’ll kill him, one way or another.

these ungrateful little shits i swear to god. richard bails him out, he’s all thankful and sweet when he wants him to do ‘this one little favour’ of taking him to his francis’ house so he can break in and when richard’s like i don’t have a car, he immediately turns sour and passive aggressive like you know what?! richard hasn’t slept all night and all morning waiting for your ass to go to court cos you were a drunken idiot and decided YET AGAIN that driving in that state is a great idea so he can bail you out and when you are finally out, you start being fussy and then it’s all ‘right. thanks a lot’??? richard doesn’t fucking need this shit! y’all are horrible friends. he’s not your bloody servant. how about you take that stick and privilege out of your asses and start treating him a bit more kindly, huh???

‘henry made me swear not to tell.’ WHAT. WHAT. BITCH, GET THE FUCK OUT.

this is by far the most toxic friendship i’ve ever heard of.

oh wow that kiss was hot. i thought it was just a speculation that they were incestuous with each other, but i-i guess not.

FINALLY it gets interesting. Mr Abernathy spilling some piping hot tea mmm

he literally just said i’d sleep with you if you got drunk enough to let me. oh dear god help me.

oh fuck it got sad. It’s patrick and brad all over again ugh always happens to the best of gays

finally richard my boy starts hating them, as he should. except francis, you’re a dick in that respect. he’s only joking for fuck’s sake, don’t get all butthurt, jesus. sensitive much?

uuuuuu tunts Tunts TUNTS! shit is hitting the fan. henry, henry, henry, our ‘golden boy’. nothing but a crook himself, the motherfucker. i’ve been waiting for this reveal since the beginning of the fucking book. if they gang up on him and kill him, i will never stop laughing.

it’s as if he’s begging to be excluded and hated, i swear. why is he being such a prick? does he love her? is that it? then there are a BILLION other ways to go about it, he doesn’t have to be such a shady bitch!! besides, wasn’t he in cahoots with julian?

‘i was depressed, i thought if i slept here it might make me feel better.’ that’s so precious tho….. funny, but precious. such child-like innocence in this grown ass intoxicated man, i melt.

clever, luring him out of the playground under the false pretext of a drink when he’s had plenty. think like a drunk

the only consistent, recurring and ever-present elements in donna tartt’s books are the hors d’oeuvres.

it’s so cute how charles needs him, i—

girls be like: watching a film, listening to a podcast, talking on the phone, having dinner, figure painting, filing nails, writing an essay and doing their makeup all at the same time

this so called love he feels for camilla is so unfounded and feeble and just … it seems so out of the fucking blue every single time he mentions it, i can’t read this shit. IT’S SO SEE-THROUGH!!

okay WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DID I JUST READ. WHAT. THE ACTUAL. MOTHERFUCKING. FUCK. one second he’s ‘i love her so much’ the next he wants to strangle and rape her?????????????? i have zero goddamn words. i am fucking speechless. i don’t think i have ever been this confused at something since i watched the turning. i don’t think you realise quite how done i am with this fucking book at this point.

i think i do hate henry more than bunny and i’m afraid i’ll like if we were villains better.

richard: [*takes sleeping pills*] also richard: [*surprised he can’t keep up with the film he started watching after taking sleeping pills*]

‘look,’ said francis. ‘let’s just go, if we leave now we can be in montreal by dark. nobody will ever find us.’ vs ‘well, i’m not going,’ said boris serenely. ‘fuck that, i’m running away. do you want to come?’

this henry bitch is the most difficult piece of shit i’ve ever fucking encountered. ‘you mean, it’s something you need to tell me in private?’ oh FUCK OFF AND STEP OUTSIDE, FOR FUCK’S SAKE. IT’S ONE THING I ASK OF YOU, YOU TWAT.

huh, i thought he was doing this shit on purpose, leaving the page face down on the table so that julian could see it, i thought it was some sick twisted plan of his.

lmao called it. everybody saw through julian’s façade except richard and the others and i completely understand. in a fashion much like julian’s, i think he knew that, he saw it, but just chose to ignore it because the image he posed and richard himself constructed of him in his mind was much more favourable to what he really was. i mean, fuck, who the fuck says ‘i hope we are all ready to leave the phenomenal world and enter into the sublime’ with their whole chest and mean it?

if you think he’s not coming, why sit in silence staring out the window, ignoring everyone and wasting everybody’s time instead of telling them from the very start this piece of information you have on hand that could save everybody a lot of trouble, time and overthinking? why be all mysterious and enigmatic about it? just tell them from the start, you’re not in a film for fuck’s sake……..

charles, one of the four of them (henry, camilla, julian and himself) might be the one i despise the least, almost like had he not been so brutal towards camilla,,,, but i don’t know if i can trust her, that whole scene seemed … staged somehow. i don’t know. i don’t know

didn’t expect henry would turn on julian too though. first real thing he’s done all book.

agatha

christie

writes

good

mysteries.

richard does seem like the type of fellow who would grow up in a household where his dad would strike his mum for no fucking reason.

okay so did henry punch him for that comment or not? what was all that father beating mother bit for?

#boysweekendinthecountry! 🤪 #partytime! #ignoringourproblems! #woooo!!!

oh my fucking god chARLES!!!

yes, henry, great, brilliant, fucking splendid idea to antagonise the man pointing a gun at you.

MY PAUL SMITH SHIRT!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHASFSHDGFDK

i love how absolutely nobody noticed fucking richard BLEEDING RIGHT NEXT TO THEM

‘expected everyone to stop and look at me. no one did.’ and they never will. that’s your whole friendship summed up in two lines. you don’t matter to them, you never did, you’re absolutely unimportant. just a tool, a pawn, a nobody. sorry you had to get shot to realise that.

‘’he shot me.’ somehow, this remark did not elicit the dramatic response i expected. before i had the chance to elaborate—’ ELABORATE WHAT? ELABORATE WHAT?! THAT’S ALL YOU NEED TO SAY!! GOD, this hurts to read. this angers me beyond words, but it also fucking hurts so bad…

nothing, not even getting shot can make richard lose his wit

disGUSTING henry and camilla moment. I HATE THEM

oh shit. did not see that coming. well, glad that’s over.

ugh, time to read how francis got hetero married :\

[*chokes*] DUE TO THE VERY EXCELLENT EXCUSE OF HAVING A GUNSHOT WOUND IN THE STOMACH I DIDN’T TAKE MY FRENCH EXAM YAY!!! god, i fucking love Richard.

the thing is, right, i read that line, ‘i managed to get out of taking my french exams the next week’ about three or four times and somehow, the following line or even the words ‘gunshot wound’ never made it to my eyes! i don’t understand how! but i’m completely happy about that given the fact that i spoiler myself on every single book i read by reading ahead like an idiot..

how much do you want to bet that it was the inn keep who called the ambulance and not those fuckers? because of course henry, dead henry’s more important than slowly dying, almost dead but not quite richard.

despite everything, it sounds like he had a nice summer in brooklyn. good for him. god knows he deserved it, the poor guy.

yeah no, fuck henry’s post-mortem hero narrrative.

lol, at least he got a nice car out of it. this book shows me once again that things happen just the way they should happen.

OH MY FUCKING GOD NO. NO. NO. NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I CANNOT READ. I DO NOT SEE. I REFUSE TO COMPREHEND THIS PIECE OF INFORMATION.

i will not say a WORD on this, much less his letter. i am hurt, i am wounded, i am grieving, my head is full of thots and i cannot speak. i died on this bed.

ugh [*rolls eyes*] this fucking guy again with his sudden, out of my ass declarations of love towards camilla. JUST GIVE IT UP ALREADYYYYYYYY!!! TELL IT TO SOMEONE WHO CARES!!! (francis) i wouldn’t be surprised if she was married or engaged and just didn’t bother to mention it ‘because he never asked’ or some bullshit excuse like that.

I HATE HENRY I HATE HENRY I HATE HENRY I HATE HENRY [*deep breath*] I FUCKING HATE HENRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he’s telling me about all these people and where they ended up after graduation but not only do i not give a single solitary fuck, i actually don’t know who the fuck he’s talking about?? like who the fuck is bram guernesnesnica? rooney wayne? what the fuck do i care what jack jud and frank did?

the only people i do remotely care about are the professors (the saucy french teacher and the boring, senile dude who wouldn’t shut up and who kept referring to richard as ‘jerry’ in his grad school recommendations letter ahahah that is the content i signed up for, not dumb and dumber’s bar or whatever) and the cat charles left at francis’ country house who lives in a ten fucking room apartment in boston.

love how ionic the whole marion storyline turned out to be. marred another corcoran who looked just like bunny and had a daughter who, despite having her and his mother’s name ended up being nicknamed also bunny. i’m sorry, i just—i have to laugh.

[*slams fists on the table*] THE AGENTS??? YOU’RE GONNA TELL ME ABOUT THE BLOODY FBI AGENTS???!!!!!! CAN THIS BOOK PLEASE JUST FUCKING END ALREADY??????!!!!!!!!

a dream. a dream. if it’s a dream of henry i will personally shoot you and make sure i aim a little higher than your abdomen this time.

[*shoots the book*]

oh, you died and suddenly you have a sense of humour?

‘that information is classified’ [*shoots a torpedo at the book*]

‘are you happy?’ / ‘not very.’ vs ‘are you happy here?’ / ‘not particularly.’

okay. so. final thoughts: fuck this book.

good night

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teruyo · 4 years

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Tag game

Tagged by @rockmarina to answer 10 questions, come up with 10 more, and tag 10 people. Thank you!! 1. What is something you’ve created that makes you feel proud of yourself?

I think this drawing. I can see all mistakes on this work and I can do even better now, but it still has a good hatching. I spent a month drawing this, so when I finished I was really proud of myself :)

2. Share a childhood memory that includes an animal!

When I was a kid I had an albino rat :D It ate our curtains, so my mom was angry and she quickly gave it to someone. I don’t even remember its name, but I remember that those time was funny to me.

3. Warm or cold colours?

Cold colours! Especially cold pastel shades, I feel blessed when I see them.

4. What is the boomer/gen Xer societal norm that you find the most unnecessary and annoying, if any? (e.g: no elbows on the table)

I think stereotypes about how a woman should live? Like you “should” marry a man, give a birth to children, you shouldn’t have a career, you should think ONLY about your husband and kids. I don’t want to live like this, that’s why adults call me an egoist.

5. Have you ever picked anything from the street and kept it?

Yes! It’s kinda weird story, bc one shop had a campaign: you go shopping for a certain price and then you get a sticker. When you get about 40s stickers, than you have a big sales for some products. And I was so obsessive about this thing, so I just picked up a dirty sticker from the ground :D Also I picked a few times telephones and credit cards, but I’ve returned it to the owners.

6. What is one piece of media that has helped you through some rough times?

Systed of a down and My Chemical Romance helped me a lot when I was a teenager. I’m so in love with their songs, and really thankful to them. I can’t even explain why and how, but they made me a strong person. I started to sing because of them. Last summer me and my capella won silver prizes at two categories in international choral festival.

7. Have you ever cried in front of anyone unexpected?

Yes, I’m that person who cries a lot, even in front of unfamiliar and strangers. I cried at the public bus, at the taxi, at the school (especially in childhood), at the street.

8. What would someone have to do to make you hate them?

I hate people who are trying humiliate me. My tastes, my music, my world, my appearance, my mental abilities. I had a classmate who always was like that, and nobody liked her. She made jokes of me, but karma worked, too :) Also I can’t stand when unfamiliar persons don’t respect my physical personal space and just TOuCh me.

9. What is one forbidden smell that you love? (glue, gasoline...)

I love particularly all this scent: glue, markers, petrol, kerosene, paint, isopropyl alcohol, chlorine (omg i hope it’s not weird...)

10. What is something you’re passionate about?

Drarry!!! Drawing and singing. I love to sing so much it’s actually my life. I want to bond my life with singing and drawing. My 10 questions for the people I tagged! 1. Do you learn any language or want to learn? 2. Tell me about your the brightest memory of your boyhood! 3. Do you have any scars on your body/face that you got in a weird way? 4. Did you read Russian writers (like Dostoevsky or Tolstoy)? If you did, what was it? 5. What’s your favourite time of a day? 6. Did you face bullying? Or maybe you were the one who bully? 7. What qualities are important for you in people? 8. Rainy or sunny weather? 9. What’s your favourite character (from all of TV-series, books, games maybe)? and why? 10. What’s your dream job? @tsauergrass @triggerlil @nourixpotter @smolfelton @secretartlair @aceveria @parselstongue @cibeewastaken @upthehillart Hope I didn’t bother you. You can not answer if you don’t want to :)

#tag game #i love to talk about myself thank you for asking #personal #long post

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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 5 years

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Rasputin And His Queen (Steve Harrington x fem!reader)

Description: Everyone loves Halloween. And when you say everyone, you mean everyone - the kids LOVE trick or treating, teenagers love Halloween parties and the adults love both decorating the house and to have a nice, calm night. And since one particular day, Steve Harrington fell in love with that day as well.

A/N: Inspired by Boney M’s song Rasputin bcs why not?

A/N 2: Celebration of Halloween and The King Man’s Rasputin except I am late to both parties. And I ooop.

AU where Nancy and Steve broke up before the summer break and not on the Halloween party of 84’. Just pretend that it was a normal summer party. His friendship with Dustin is still on thin ice, season 2 hasn't started officially in this one-shot.

Warnings: Billy acting like a fucking shithead he is.

The commies, the Russians, red swines - no matter how you decided to name them, they were hated in the USA. But from time to time, you still met a Russian in your country or those who ran away from Ukraine - and most of the time, they were cool.

And since you were small, your mom took care of an old Russian lady named Anna - even if your dad wasn't very fond of your mom friending with someone who was born in Russia, your mom decided that Anna needs her help. She was old, fragile and barely took care of her. You spent every Wednesday and Sunday with that lady, you were at her place and when you were lucky and Anna was able to speak with you, she was telling you about Russian history. Her English wasn't exactly the best, but over time, you learned how to understand Anna.

No, she was not telling you stories of Lenin or Stalin, not about the commies, no. She was talking about the history of the old, great Russia, she spoke about the last czar family of the Romanovs. When you were older, she even told you about the big rumors going about the family’s relationship to a strange man named Rasputin. She was old enough at the time to remember the time when the dynasty was ruined and practically burned down, how they hunted every one of them.

Her mother was very fond of the czar imperial family, so Anna could even show you some photos of the family. It was a fairytale you didn't have in the USA - a big royal family with beautiful women, something like princesses, big balls, a beautiful dress, and the most expansive jewelry. You loved to listen about the tsars even if you had to keep your mouth shut.

And when Anna had died in the March of 84’ at the age of 87, you wanted to show her some respect without the others telling you that you might be a commie - so you decided to do it on the Halloween night. You started the preparations very early - you had a big crown on you had made from old jewelry and some shining stones, you used old shirts she gave you in her will. They were old and from Russia, there was a corset decorated with flowers and shirts that showed way more than they hid.

But when you were done with your costume, it looked pretty lit - the upper part was an imitation of Alexandra Foedorovna's dress from one photo, but you decided to have pants decorated with jewelry and high boots instead of a dress.

You kept the costume as a secret - only your mom and your best friend knew about it. Your mom found it nice - your best friend was a bit worried about it. But is suited you like hell when you had the perfect hairstyle and the right make-up.

You had your gang at school - it was you, your best friend Clara, and two boys - Steve and Lenny. Steve joined you after his break up with Nancy Wheeler, who was a really nice and beautiful girl, and ever since, you hung out really often.

It was basically the last Halloween you were able to be together - after that, Clara was going to NYC, Lenny was moving out to Alaska and you were going on a college in a near town. So that Halloween had to be perfect.

You knew Steve Harrington since you were a small child - that was the curse of growing up in a small town named Hawkins, Indiana. Estimated population? 30.000 people - maybe more, maybe less. There was a shit-ton of weird things going on in the last two years. But yeah, you knew almost everybody from your neighborhood. And since Steve was living in the house next to you, you had some pretty cringy photos and memories together.

But you only saw him as the neighborhood who sometimes greeted you as you grew up, but it became blatantly obvious when he joined your group of friends. Clara could tell right away that he has those puppy eyes for you only and that finds you funny and cute as hell. But you just laughed at that - you were sure that when he gets the first option to leave your group for better, more popular friends, he will just do that without thinking.

But as the time passed by, Clara and Lenny caught Steve stare numerous times, he was laughing at things you've said that weren't even a bit funny and he always ASKED you to help him with studies and homework. Every time you told your gang that you have to watch over your younger, dumb sister, he volunteered to take you both out - to watch a movie, to just hang out at the playground or to grab some food. And you usually accepted his offers - but you never saw the real reason behind that.

When he saw you walking down the hall with a smile on your face, telling Clara something that happened, he liked the way you looked and presented yourself. For the first week, he was telling himself that it is only the shock from breaking up with Nance - that he is only searching for a pretty face to like. But then he started his long-forgotten childhood friendship with you again - he took only small steps at a time. It officially had started when you met up at Burger King to have a study night.

Since then, he was not only a member of your gang; but he felt something. Some nudge in his head telling him that there is something about the girl with two ponytails and shiny swimsuit he had on a photograph in his childhood album.

Steve could just tell you how he felt, serve it on a silver plate or just kiss you already; but you two were seriously too dumb for that.

The final nail in the coffin was when Steve waited for Clara outside the chemistry class just to ask her this:

"Do you know what is Y/N wearing for this Halloween?" - He leaned next to her cabin with his shoulder, chewing on a piece of gum. Steve, the Great Hair™ Harrington was trying to look as cool as he could, not giving too much away. But Clara could tell that he's nervous while he asked that question.

"I do. Why?" - She took out the book she had to read for English and which she decided she will continue with during the lunch break.

"I just want to surprise her by doing... A pair costume? I was just saying that she might find it funny?" - Steve shrugged his shoulders and took his sunglasses off. Idiot. He didn't really know how to wear them, did he? - "So... Will you tell me or you'll leave me hanging? I really don't want to go ask her mum this afternoon."

Clara chuckled and walked the hall down with Steve. Jesus, that boy was willing to sacrifice his dignity just to find out what you're Halloween costume is. And that you'll find it funny? Sure you will. And maybe it will fucking finally release the tension which is at the table in the cafeteria while Steve sits on the other side of the table and watches you like a statue from the antique Rome. There was this electricity which he was sending your way, but you were totally numb to pick up on.

"Under one circumstance, dear Harrington." - Clara rose her eyebrows and walked the hall alongside the big basketball jock. Steve sighed and looked at her.

“I am not going to drive you to school every single morning, Clara. Not happening.” - Steve shook his head with a frown. Clara left out a burst of genuine laughter.

“You will ask her out finally. That's the deal - if you don't, you will be explaining Mrs. Y/L/N why you need to know what is her daughter wearing for Halloween so desperately.” - She turned to the lab, he copied Clara’s moves and almost took down a girl who wasn't watching her way. Steve looked shocked - that was the first time Clara could see him like that.

“Take her out? We’re out like.. All the time.” - He said without a clue. Clara rolled her eyes, caught his upper arm and stopped him pretty aggressively.

“Now listen to me, Harrington, because I am not gonna repeat myself. I am sick of how in love you look when she sits her ass on the opposite side of the table, how you run with her everywhere she goes like a lovesick puppy and how desperately you want to bang her or kiss her, I don't really care, Harrington. All I know is that she is my best friend and that you genuinely want to make her happy because if you didn't and just lost your interest in her, then this whole fucking thing wouldn't be going on for almost four months. Are we clear?” - Clara burst at him so quickly that steve froze down and looked at her in shock.

She was right in every single point. It was only a rumor that Steve the Idiot™ Harrington is still a ladies man or that he is doing it for the fame - all he wanted was just a few good friends and a loving girlfriend.

“I don't want to... Only bang her.” - Steve stuttered out in shock. Clara opened up her mouth and then shut it tight again. Was she too hard on Steve? He was as red as an Italian tomato and he was looking everywhere except her eyes.

“That is not the point, you idiot!” - She dragged him to the side of the corridor. - “The point is that I want you to date already, dipshit!”

“Hey, do not be so harsh, I understood what you mean. You just looked like you want to murder me and I just didn't know what the hell should I say dingus.” - Steve answered aggressively as well, which made Clara shut up for a second as well. Ok. So Steve was able to defend him, which made her smile.

“Will you ask her out if I tell you?” - Clara offered him her hand and Steve looked at it with a frown. - “That is the deal. Take it or leave it, asshole.”

And like that, he just made a deal with the devil called Clara by the locals who happened to be your bestie as well.

“Alexandra Feodorovna. The last big czarina of Russia. You have two options.” - Clara started talking when they slowly moved towards the classroom again. - “Either you can go as her husband, Nicholas Romanov or the mystical ladies man Rasputin.”

“Rasputin? Like that Europian song? Russia’s biggest love machine?” - Steve joked a bit but turned his smile down when he saw her risen eyebrows. - “How did they look like? Where should I look it up?” - He asked desperately. But Clara didn't answer as she walked into the classroom.

There you were again, dressed in your prettiest sweater and the prettiest jeans ever, your hair resembling Joyce Byers’s in a way, but it looked... Hot on you. You smiled at them and started to ramble about yesterday’s chemistry test - which Steve completely fucked up.

That evening Steve the Dingus™ Harrington did something he thought he would never do - he visited the library for the first time ever. The librarian lady looked him up and down like she couldn't actually believe her eyes.

“Can I do something for you?” - She, Mrs. Remsay, looked almost amazed by Steve Harrington visiting the library.

“Yes. Definitely, you can. Where can I find the history of the Romanovs? They're supposed to be a... Russian royal family of cars?” - Steve smiled at her nervously. Great. Now, she will think that he is a commie. Or that he is planning to be one. - “It is... For a Halloween costume, Mrs. Remsay. I swear to God that I am not with the Russians.”

“First of all, no offense, but you don't have the capacity of being a Russian spy. The Romanovs were a czar dynasty, not cars. Second of all, those books are in historic literature and third of all, five books at a time.” - She gave him a library card with a smile. Steve took it from her small palm without anything to say - she just ultimately called him dumb. But yeah, he probably hadn't got the capacity of being a Russian spy - even his essays sucked.

He sat there the whole afternoon, going through three to five books about them. Only one had a picture of that mysterious man Rasputin he knew about only from a disco song - and god, wasn't that man weird?

But what needed to be done, that needed to be done. Steve did his best - he got himself a fake beard, got an old coat which looked like it is going to fall apart any minute and rosemary with some pants and boots. When he looked at himself, he needed to say that it isn't that bad after all - but he wasn't as weird as that man.

You decided to meet up at your place - Clara was dressed up as Cleopatra who was mummified and was brought back to life, so she had loads of toilet paper and gazes around her along with some crazy make-up and a crown in her hair. Lenny was going as his superhero idol, Batman. And he did look funny.

But you definitely took the longest to prepare - Anna always told you that czarina Alexandra was a breathtaking young woman who was beautiful and you wanted to do her justice. Only braiding your big czarina crown and the veil going with that, falling on your back, took you more than half an hour. Then the make-up, small details... You took three hours to get done, but you were perfect. Your little bratty sister almost yelled that she wants you to take it all off so she could be the queen, but your mother didn't let her.

When you slowly walked the stairs in your house down, you were breathtaking, at least to Steve. He gulped when he saw your neck drowned under all the jewelry and shiny diamonds, your crowned head and the boots with a slight wedge, so you weren't exactly walking high heels, but it made your legs optically longer and your ass more standing out.

You chuckled when you saw Steve. Was he who you thought he was?

But before you could ask, there was the Polaroid taking time™ your mother loved and you hated completely. Your mom made all of you make several pictures - you and your sister dressed like a ladybug, you and the Cleo, you and Bat-Man and finally, you and Steve. And didn't you two look like a photo of Alexandra and her devoted healer?

Steve really tried his best to copy that man’s posture and expression as he held the rosemary in front of his chest, his eyes wide open, only so you would have the best picture you could. You posed on a chair with a blank stare into the oblivion - you two really did the best you could.

It was a beautiful photo which you knew that you'll have on your wall with memories. You left the house around six with your mom screaming "be back by ten and not a minute late, young lady" at your back. You walked to Steve’s car so he could drive all four of you to Tammy's house.

She had a crush on Steve since ever and pinned after him since he and Nancy broke up. You hoped the best - Tammy wasn't exactly the nicest, but she wasn't a both either. You two never really got along, but you hoped for the best for Steve.

"So... Uh... Nice costume? - You chuckled while Steve drove the car like a maniac and you needed to hold the crown on the top of your head. - "Who you are?" - You asked again and Clara shifted forward on her seat to listen closely to your conversation.

Steve way really enjoying himself, he was excited about that evening a lot since you were there with him, but at the same time, Billy Hargrove's appearance at the party was making him a bit uneasy. He didn't like that guy - to be honest, he was almost shitting himself around Billy. That boy was a fucking maniac. Steve had a feeling that something is going to fuck up at that party.

"Can't you tell? I am the man from that song. That love machine, that's all me." - He chuckled unsurely and tried to do have a calm expression at the moment. You will see through his lies in a moment and he KNEW THAT.

"So you heard Bonney M's song playing and just told yourself that you'll be Rasputin? That's what you want me to think?" - You laughed. - "Such a coincidence while I'm dressing up as the queen he was rumored to be the lover of, Harrington. Who told you?"

"The wind, I guess?" - Steve looked from the window because you gave him those shiny eyes and a big, bright smile.

"I think it's nice of you. To do a pair costume, I mean, nobody ever done that with me." - You smoothed his shoulder lightly and then looked away. Clara just nudged his chin with her fingers, motioning that NOW'S the chance, but he shook his head and showed her his middle finger up so she would shut. Ok. She and Lenny have a plan on how to get you together anyways, so Steve being a dumb shy bitch wasn't a problem really.

The truth was that there was something magical about Halloween nights. Everyone got dressed up and pretty, they were the costumes they wore and not the people in them. Halloween nights were the best in your life since you were a kid. Your dad always took you trick or treating along with Steve and Deborah, a girl down your street who now was a total bitch. You always wore the same costumes - Steve was a great basketball player, you were a Daisy and Deb was a witch.

The best days of your life - you were just a bunch of friends who ADORED each other. Now, you were just thrown back to those days with Steve walking by your side as Rasputin while you were the queen, your hand always close to each other. But you were too dumb to hold them.

"Can I get you something, your majesty?" - He bowed a bit, making you chuckle a bit.

"A cup of cola would do the trick, my dear." - You patted his shoulder. Steve turned away before you could see that he has that dumb smile on. If there weren't so many people, he would perform the dumb victory dance he did only when he was alone. Steve the biggest ladies man Hawkins ever saw™ Harrington actually did a happy dance around a lot.

A lot of girls actually crossed by and told you that your costume is on point. Yeah. You didn't like when someone was telling you that he's the best... But your costume was DEFINITELY the best out there. The most thought through and the nicest in visage. Plus Steve had done what he had done.

But then you heard someone arguing in the back as you waited next to a living room turned into a dance floor for Steve and your Cola. You looked at Clara with a frown before stepping there.

"And you and your costume? You're just pathetic. Little. Child. Harrington!" - You heard a known voice. It was Billy Hargrove's voice - he was the current tyrant of the Hawkins high school, with his racist, irrational mind.

"Who asked you about your opinion, Hargrove? Keep it to yourself and go home. You're fucking drunk." - And at that moment, you saw as Billy pushed Steve down on a small table, prepared to give him a punch. Everyone froze down for a moment, looking at the two of them before the first gasps of "Billy!" could be heard.

"Stop!" - Nancy Wheeler suddenly jumped between them and tried to tear them apart, but another girl and Johnathan Byers, her current boyfriend, local weirdo and the best photographer you've seen had to help her. - "What the fuck is your problem?!" - Nancy yelled at him, stepping in front of Steve to protect him as she didn't let Hargrove from her stare.

There was something about Nancy Wheeler and you needed to admit that whether she was your best friend's ex who totally broke his heart of the girl you sometimes smiled at in the corridor. There was something about her.

"Steve fucking Harrington is my fucking problem!" - Billy yelled back at her. The situation was getting boiling hot. - "And if you don't get out of the way, your pretty face gets hit as well!"

"If you don't stop treating her, I'll punch your perfect teeth out!" - Jonathan screamed at him which made everyone shut up again. You could barely hear Byers speaking. He was never yelling or raising his voice. - "If you don't back off, Hargrove, I swear that I'll kick you like a little bitch and I that I'll fucking enjoy... Every... Single... Second." - Steve pointed at him and took the same defending position in front of Nance, just a foot away from Billy's face.

You watched Steve with amazement. He was so brave at that moment. He appeared to be so strong and big... To be the protector. And he was protecting the person he hated the most at the moment, even if it wasn't her fault.

"I think you should leave, Billy." - Tammy stepped out of the corner from where she watched the whole situation with fear in her eyes. - "Come around later, man."

And with that, Billy screamed like if he went completely mad at the moment. He was like a little child walking away at a fast pace, shutting the door so quickly that the window next to it shook. Before Nancy had even a chance to speak with Steve, you walked up to him, catching his face in your palms like you were about to kiss him.

But you didn't, you only checked for bruises or blood. You checked that he's alright. And Steve was, he really was, only his back hurt like a bitch since Billy pushed him on a wooden table.

"Steve Harrington." - You sighed dramatically. - "I know that you are a dingus and a friend who always makes me laugh... But this was fucking brave." - You nodded. He turned his face away with a cocky smile and a smile yes on his lips. As your hands slide on the coat which was practically falling apart, you caught his shoulders.

And he felt it. The first bolt of electricity that came from you. Steve could know it because of your eyes - they jumped from his eyes to his lips and you were leaning in like you asked him for permission. But Nancy came next to you and she made you jump away from Steve.

He watched you walk away, your cheeks were reddening as you nervously smiled, shook your head and then you just disappearing in the crowd. His heart sank. Was this the only bolt he was going to get from you? And did Nancy just fuck it up too?

"Thank you, Steve." - She smiled at him in a typical Wheeler manner and smoothed his elbow. - "Thank you for doing this to me. It was nice, I really appreciate it. And about Y/N..." - She looked behind her shoulder and nudged his. - "You guys are incredibly cute together. Go get her and make sure you're doing it properly. Show how great you are." - She leaned in to kiss his cheek and rose her thumbs up before leaning into Jonathan's hug.

Steve looked at Nancy and she only smiled wider, nodding to tell him that he should go. That was when Clara's while came as she leaned to the big stereo.

"Cover me! Lenny! Cover me!" - She yelled, balancing on her right foot, putting the cassette inside. She almost sold her soul to the real devil before she got it, but she managed to get it out of one boy that was pinning after her like hell. So Lenny stood in front of her leaned ass and tried to cover her with his cloak.

When Clara was done, a burst of victory laughter could be heard out of her posh lips. She stood up and pressed play while she leaned her shoulder into the cabinet beside her and Lenny. - "Now, just fucking watch."

You looked around the room when an uptown disco started to play. It was something from the last decade - and all you could was just to laugh when you realized that it's Bonney M's Rasputin. You covered up your mouth. Steve sneaked up beside you so stealthy you almost gave him a slap.

"It looks like someone..." - With that, he looked at Clara with a dead stare. - "Is playing my song. So... Do you wanna?" - Steve smiled at you and he walked to the dancefloor backward. For a moment, you watched him with your eyes partially closed and with a strange smile, but then you walked up to him. Even if the disco rhythm was unbelievably rhythmic and fast and made a lot of people immediately dance, your steps remained slow as you put your hand on Steve's chest, walking around him in a circle, not leaving a single centimeter out of your touch. Jesus, he was burning at that moment.

Then, instead of jumping around, your left palm rose his right and you left it up as you started to walk in circles. He saw that. In a romantic movie, his mom was watching on the TV - some noble princess lady or who danced like that century ago. But when you smiled at him from below the crown in that low light with your reddened cheek, he didn't find it cheesy. It was just... Hot. Hot and sensual.

Then you changed your hand and walked in the other direction.

"I am the czarina, remember?" - You giggled. - "And you're apparently my lover as the lyrics say."

Steve giggled as well, looking around. Clara and Lenny were intensely watching both of you with a big smile, just as a few other people around. They weren't laughing at you, they found you cute as hell. You changed the direction again.

"I sure as hell am, my lady." - Steve answered with a dumb smile, but before he could continue, you took his hand with a laugh and started to spin around, moving your body in the rhythm.

You were everything Nancy couldn't be to Steve. Just a young girl enjoying life, laughing, being happy. And that fool was just in love with you. He danced as well, completing your improvised choreography. Everyone yelled the refrain as loudly as they could, slowly progressing to the last verse of the song. You took his palms into yours and started to slowly leaned in, still singing and getting so close that you caught his shoulders into your palm.

"Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine, and so they shot him 'til he was dead ." - Everyone yelled and just before the Jamaican singer could say "Ah, those Russians", your lips were on his and your eyes were closed as you hung on his shoulders, making him catch your waist, so he could lean in as well. You, girl, you were the most desperate and the best kisser he has ever kissed until that night.

When you leaned away with your eyes shining and a big, beautiful smile on your lips, he knew that it's his time to get over with his part of the deal before Clara cuts his balls off.

"Well, when we finally made it all clear." - He stood up and looked around. Nobody was staring at you and Clara was changing the cassette again. - "Do you want to hang out? Like a date hang out? Just... I mean, you, me, movie and dinner or something like that?" - He stuttered out as he put you down on the ground. You made a shocked face and caught his face to your hand again, playing with the fake beard.

"Wouldn't you want to know, lover boy?" - You giggled and pressed another quick kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"After all of this? I want you to take me out as soon as you can."

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #halloween imagine #stranger sthings #stranger things au #nancy wheeler #jonathan byers #billy hargrove #rasputin #by boney m #inspired by

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obaewankenope · 5 years

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on the ranking of angels

the whole ranking of angels kinda comes from one guy: pseudo-dionysius the areopagite from 5th century ad, this dude gave us the basis for ranking angels in groups, levels, grades, choirs etc

we don’t really know who tf he was since he literally just made himself out to be some psuedo version of dionysius (because we obviously needed another dionysius in human history) and i’d love to time travel and kick him in the nads if i could.

anyway. so yeah. ranking angels.

my upbringing is catholic and i went to communion and read that godsawful bible and blah-blah and so on so like, a lot of my own understanding stems from that and then the deranged Research Frenzies i’m known for. this means i’ve done learning about this topic and generally, i feel like there’s a bit of a... misunderstanding in the good omens fandom as to where aziraphale, crowley (as raphael or not), gabriel and co seem to land in terms of ranks and power levels.

cherubim, seraphim, archangels... fancy words we sort of know but don’t really Get. time to get em.

F I R S T S P H E R E

saraph/seraph-im:

according to tradition, these boys are top dog in christian theology but fifth in jewish. my memory serves to remind me that archangels are also seraphim and that the three main types of angels are cherubs, saraph, and thrones with the other spheres being more titles for them to have on top of that. i’ve read online where the archangels michael, gabriel, and samael/lucifer are either saraph or cherubs but this is... well, thanks to pseudo-dionysius, not exactly easy to frickin’ parse. the book of isaiah describes saraphs as having six wings (two on the back, two hiding the face, two at the feet/genitals).

this means that gabriel, lucifer, michael, uriel and even sandalphon (dude why no ‘iel’ on the end, it’s sad) are higher ranks than aziraphale in terms of sheer power even if they may be outranked by aziraphale regarding humans proper. make sense? nope? not surprising.

cherub-im:

cherubs attend to god and are also kinda shoved into the joyous role of guarding eden. in jewish theology, cherubs are either second or third lowest ranked (eighth or ninth) compared to the saraphs who are middle of the way. it’s from cherubs -- described in the book of ezekiel -- that we have that many faced, multi-winged conception of angels btw. usually a lion, ox, human, and eagle to represent all types of animals (where’s the snake you say? crowley nicked it... probably). thanks to some later western christian traditions we kinda see cherubs as plump, little, babies with those bows with love-heart arrows (probably crowley’s doing to piss aziraphale off). cherubs do have two pairs of wings (four in total) compared to the six that saraphs have, making them different at least there.

so aziraphale being a cherub makes sense. but he’s gonna be second-tier to saraphs like gab’ and co thus he does still obey gabriel as and when required--only in regards to humans can aziraphale kinda disobey because principality trumps archangel with humans but again, gabriel has more pull in heaven and can still punish him (plus gabriel is an asshole in the show and is Just Like That)

thrones aka ophanim:

these fellas are kinda just guards of gods throne. they’re called thrones or galgalim (refers to ezekiel’s wheels during his vision of the chariot). a dead sea scroll calls them angels and puts them below saraphs and cherubs while the book of enoch says they never sleep (like saraphs and cherubs) and guard god’s throne. i can’t really find any names ascribed to this group but are associated with meting out divine justice and maintain cosmic harmony.

i can only imagine how Done they are with crowley over him stopping time...

i’m just gonna straight up skip the second sphere because, well; dominions organise lower angels and keep things ticking over; virtues are the sign post makers of divine shit; and powers/authorities just watch a lot and keep things running along on a cosmic scale. so, administrators. literally. poor civil servants of heaven. they probably don’t even get a decent pay.

the third sphere is what we’re interested in anyway, because of the whole “principalities outrank archangels tho” stuff. so here we are

T H I R D S P H E R E

principalities:

principalities/rulers are guides and protectors of nations and institutions. so you’d have a principality guarding the catholic church, one covering the orthodox church, another who deals with maybe protecting italy and so on. aziraphale is the principality of the eastern gate of eden, that- that’s a pretty big thing. principalities wear crowns and carry sceptres, and carry out the orders given to them by upper sphere angels.

in canon, aziraphale is a principality, but i can’t recall him being called anything. i’m not sure if it’s fandom deciding here’s a cherub or not, ignoring the spheres or not, or whatever, but he doesn’t Really rank above gabriel. gaiman himself made a note of the difference between Archangels and archangels - the capital A makes the difference. so see seraphs as Archangels and third sphere archangels as the generic boys.

in my mind, gabriel and michael -- as pretty much the only really named archangels in christian theology -- are the Archangels whilst sandalphon and uriel are archangels. so aziraphale can ignore two of the four but not michael or gabriel outright (we’re not discussing the disobedience by avoidance tactic he employs a lot). expanding the Archangel category to include maybe Raphael (angel of healing) and Azrael (angel of death) works too, but generally, aziraphale can’t disobey direct orders from them because they are his bosses. unless -- and this is the thing -- it comes to something involving His Specific Principality. but being the principality of eden is... well, eden doesn’t exist anymore. some major mental gymnastics would be required for aziraphale to decide Earth Is Eden Thus Earth Is My Principality SUCK IT GABRIEL and ignore heaven... actually... this might well explain a fair amount of his behaviour lmao. someone else can play with That tho.

archangels:

funnily enough, archangels aren’t mentioned in the bible more than two or three times. in christianity, gabriel is called an archangel but there’s actually nothing in the bible to support that. michael is called an archangel in the new testament tho. the word means “chief angel” coming from greek archein for first in rank or power -- hence why it’s a bit odd for archangels to be ranked below others. archangel is only ever a singular term and used Only for michael btw.

but in the book of tobit/tobias, we get an archangel raphael, an archangel uriel is also brought up in anglican and russian orthodox religions. raphael isn’t really considered a Canon angel outside of roman catholicism (my lot btw), eastern orthodox and anglicans, whilst uriel isn’t mentioned in the western christian bible at all.

raphael gives us the idea of seven archangels btw - from the book of tobit where he says he’s “one of the seven who stand before the Lord”.

in the books of enoch and revelations, we’re told that there are seven spirits of god that stand before the throne and some interpretations have the seven archangels as those seven spirits.

depending on the theological tradition, the names of the archangels vary. the ones i know of as roman catholic are gabriel, michael, and raphael (lucifer doesn’t count bc he’s fallen obvs), whereas eastern orthodox has seven and even an extra one depending: michael, gabriel, raphael, uriel, selaphiel/salathiel, jegudiel/jehudiel, barachiel, and jerahmeel/jeremiel.

the names vary depending on what faith you are but, generally, the three most common are gabriel, michael, and raphael - who are described as seraphim or cherubim and archangels as like their job title.

angels:

regular dudes. i cba even going Into This One Okay?

so all of this means that aziraphale is second to gabriel no matter what unless he does some awesome mental gymnastics and claims earth as eden and argues it’s his job to oversee it as fit (just imagine the vein in gabriel’s head popping from That Conversation).

aziraphale is definitely powerful, he’d have to be as a principality of eden - it’s kind of a Big Deal to be in charge of eden, even if you might share the job with three others - but he’s not quite as powerful as an archangel who is basically the second in command of heaven after god.

unless, as i’ve said, aziraphale draws on his position as a principality and uses That over gabriel who seems very set on his “i’m the fucking archangel gabriel” spiel lmao.

so yeah. this is just A Thing for me. idk if any one else feels this way about it all or not, but you can ignore me about all of this. i’m not an Authority on it and honestly, this is more to make sense of it all For Myself than to Tell Ya’ll How It Ought To Be.

#Good Omens #Ineffable husbands #Crowley #Aziraphale #archangels #cherubim #saraphim #saraphs #seraphim #cherub #angel rankings #angelic choirs #gabriel #michael #meta #kat writes #i got distracted from fic by this lmao

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necropsittacus · 5 years

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for the ask thing, all the ones you have an interesting answer for

this is extremely long because I Love Oversharing so under a cut. thanks britta!!!

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?tea, black; i've tried putting extra spices in it but i think i'm not doing it right bc it gets grainy and weird? i don't drink coffee anymore for "hey maybe we should stop consuming this thing that makes us feel like we're actually about to die" reasons but when i did it was with a fuckton of cream5. are you self-conscious of your smile?yeah; less so since i actually brush my teeth semi routinely now, so they're less awful, but i still have a slight overbite and a residual habit of covering my mouth with my hand if i open it very much 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?either weird vent fanfiction that i never end up finishing, drawing in my notebooks, or i try to make the overly dramatic/pretentious thoughts that pop into my head into poetry (which i never end up finishing, go figure).9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?used to, but it's like. even besides insecurity about my voice and the fear that i'll be Too Loud and bother someone. the same internal barrier that makes it hard to speak out loud, especially if i'm not directly prompted to, applies to singing10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?usually side, and in the fetal position. occasionally back though13: what’s something that made you smile today?saw a chickadee!14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?god i don't know that's like. that's the fucking dream, for the future, but i hadn't gotten as far as daydreaming about *decoration* or anything of that sort. at the moment i tend towards covering things in movie posters and little trinkets i accumulate and toys and that sort of thing. i know i couldn't do sharing a room with someone else long term, it'd get stressy, so at least two bedrooms (or a bedroom and a pull out couch in the living room, that'd work), a little kitchen. no minimalism, but i might like having primary responsibility for Housecleaning sorts of things for my loved ones, or keeping things reasonably neat. just. something that feels like a proper home. safe. 16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?i am extremely boring and usually just do fettuccine alfredo. that said, cheese ravioli and pesto products are also very good. i just don't like super complicated foods with ingredients i don't recognize, or red sauce. red sauce is Sensory Bad. 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?i mean i've been dyeing mine black since i was like 17 to the point that people think that's the natural color and i just let them, and honestly i'm very happy with thatred looked good on me, and i definitely like the way a lot of those super bright unnatural purples, blues, etc look on other people but it doesn't feel like "yes this is Correct this is what i'm Supposed to Look Like, this is the color it was *supposed* to be all along" in the same way, it just feels like i'm dyeing it a weird color for fun18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up."mola mola isn't a slur, right?"20: what’s your favorite eye color?idk about "favorite" but dark brown eyes are really pretty22: are you a morning person?i tend to be more productive and (assuming at least like five or six hours of sleep) more cheerful in the morning, but getting out of bed is a horrible struggle bc executive dysfunction and anxiety23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?tbh i HATE having those days, i don't like being super busy Either but i get really like bored/restless/I Am Going to Rip My Skin Off to Have Something to Do Please Let Me Out of the House if i genuinely don't have anything scheduled for a day? so i usually *make* obligations for myself, writing projects or something like that, if i don't have anything externally enforced. and go to the library or a cafe or something bc i feel more alive if i don't stay in my room all day24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?yeah26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?i mean i've only had them for like a year bc it turns out that wearing the same pair of shoes almost every day wears through them pretty fast, who would have thought? but black combat boots28: sunrise or sunset?sunset31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.they hurt but i p much only wear boots so i have to wear them all the time. also my feet are weird and fucked up and i don’t especially like looking at them. and then i forget to take them off to sleep so i just. wear them all the time except to shower. i like weird socks with like animal pictures or whatever but then i feel bad abt wearing them bc i wear out socks really fast for unclear reasons34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?ooh i had a lot!! most of them were sea mammals, a couple sharks i think? i had a couple rabbits when i was Really small but i don't remember them as clearlyi can't remember most of their names but they had whole like imagined stories and relationships to each other and shit, i definitely remember there was one stuffed orca that was almost as big as kindergartener me35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?oh absolutely!! i write mostly in pencil for ease of corrections and so it doesn't bleed through the paper, but i accumulate pens/weird ink colors/etc37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?see i *prefer* having my room be clean but it literally never is 39: what color do you wear the most?black. combination of "trying to be low effort goth" and that idk how to coordinate colors so all my outfits are either all black or like. black + one other color + possibly grey, bc i figure there's no way that could end up clashing horribly. also i only HAVE black pants anyway so like. 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?mm i know accident by christa wolf hit me pretty hard in some emotions, and that was recent44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?i'm not sure that's an emotion i have tbhwhen i'm happy there's this kind of anxious edge to it, not necessarily in a bad way, but "at peace" is. an odd concept for me. the closest i get is this sort of quiet not-exactly-negative melancholy if i'm not behind on anything and it's raining and everything's just sort of soft yknow? 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?marinara sauce. i hate that shit. i'll eat it on pizza or if i literally have to in order to get a meal and i can't physically handle not having one, but that's about it. also tomatoes more generally! i like ketchup but that's it. why do yall insist on putting tomatoes on everything all the time i Don't Like Them50: what’s an odd thing you collect?i keep all the toys i get out of kinder eggs and stuff like that. also i just have hyperempathy about inanimate objects and animals (and basically no empathy for humans most of the time, weirdly enough) and it's frequently difficult for me to throw things away because "well i'll be hurting it!" so uh. i just accumulate objects. i still have my old toothbrush somewhere55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?i straight up tried to kill myself to win an argument with mom once in high school. and i'm not talking like a mini fakeout attempt that wasn't supposed/expected to work, either, i did regret it but i was straight up prepared to die to get her to believe me 56: what are some things you find endearing in people?rambling/talking about your interests, emotional openness. if you like. send me things that reminded you of me/you thought i'd like, or initiate physical contact so i don't have to feel so weird/guilty about it, that's a very fast path to my affections. just being weird as shit. lots of little things, really. depends on the person a lot, though; either "person is Soft and Good and i feel like it's my responsibility to protect them" or "person is Kind of Scary/Edgy and i will attach myself to them and remain loyal no matter what and they appreciate it" are pretty consistent things, but those are a long way from the Only paths to my affection58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?awfully bold of you to assume i have a friend group and not just a disparate group of friends who mostly don't talk to each other. i AM semi consistently the weird vodka uncle though. 59: what’s your favorite myth?LOTS. that's not quite a fair question i can't pick one favoritethe volsunga saga does come to mind, though60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?i do!!! i thought i didn't because turns out the things they make you read in high school english are often Not Terribly Emotionally Resonant for me, funnily enough, but when i started reading russian poetry in college, and more mental illness focused stuff tbh, it was like Oh Shit This Is Really Cool. i really like vladimir mayakovsky!61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?when i was really small i gave my dad a care bears coloring book for his birthday because for some reason i didn't process that other people didn't have exactly the same interests as me??62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?i drink either unsweetened green tea or monster energy drinks in the morning. depends how much of a disaster i'm being on that particular day. 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?all my music is online or haphazardly downloaded to my phone so there's. not really any way to organize that if i wanted to tbh. i make a lot of character or ship playlists that i'd put more effort into organizing if i ever got around to showing them to other people, but Also anything that isn't too embarrassing to risk anyone else seeing just gets put in one folder. i DO organize my books, though. i usually *forget* to put them back where they're supposed to go, but there is a proper order (everything from one author or franchise together, stuff like star wars or tolkien is together and in in-universe chronological order, stuff like that), and i get upset if people fuck with it67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?nice. it's very calming, and also bright sunlight hurts my eyes fjgshtf68: what’s winter like where you live?not very different from fall most of the time. climate change is making it more midwest-y, which i'm not sure if i'm happy about or not (snow nice, but summer is also progressing in that direction, which is unfortunate). somewhere between the 30's and 50's (fahrenheit), mostly pretty grey, it rains sometimes. it's not cold enough that i need to have a real coat, usually sweater+leather jacket is enough. my hands always hurt, though70: have you ever used a ouija board?yeah i used to do it with my brother sometimes. nothing ever happened tho76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?i need to write my paper proposal for nuclear lit and also draw some stuff for people that i've been putting off because my brain hates me and Catching Up On Everything I Should Have Been Doing a While Ago Is Scary77: pink or yellow lemonade?both? both is good78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?i have no real feelings on minions one way or the other but i have no interest in them and don't like seeing them all the time79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?someone i used to know was going to move away from their abusers and get a job and such, partly or mostly For Me, so we could run away and start things over together after i graduated. and then things blew up but. it was very sweet and sometimes i get emotional about the concept of that still 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?three white, one blue. i didn't choose it, it came with the dorm room. my bedroom in my parents house has really dark blue walls, which i DID choose bc i wanted a dark color and my brother already had red ones and i wanted to distinguish myself from him. 82: are/were you good in school?mmm more or less, yes i'm terrible at certain kinds of projects and at getting stuff done without pretty much devastating my physical ability to function pushing myself at the last minute. that said, i'm very good at tests, good at papers, good at language learning and bullshit analysis. it's just like. PLEASE don't give me "fun creative projects!!!" or start with the "oh well tests aren't a good way of measuring learning, here's some other stuff that will be easier for you!" thing. i *like* tests. tests make sense and it's just sit down for an hour and you're done. it's the other stuff that's hard also i'm so used to my mother's ridiculous standards that it's like. yes i am good at school, in that my professors keep telling me i am Very Smart and things of that nature. but also i am terrible at taking care of myself while i have school because me being good at school is to some extent reliant on my brain's false insistence that Everybody Else Has Perfect Grades and Is Killing Themselves Slowly To Be The Best, so clearly we need to do that too! and any sacrifice is worth it! so eventually i just collapse84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?yeah definitely, at some point. there's other things that are more pressing to spend my limited amount of non-parent-controlled money on right now, but i know i want like. some manner of thing referencing my chronic turin turambar (self dx) status, probably his grave inscription or a sword (or both eventually!). probably also a bird of some sort85: do you read comics? what are your faves?see i'll happily read comics if there's a franchise i'm already interested in that has comics as part of it, but i'm not like a Comics Fan per se. i tend to find them kind of overwhelming because there's just So Much content and i don't know where to start and i usually get distracted before i finish. i did really enjoy mtmte and the tdc creation myths comics89: are you close to your parents?nope! i send my dad animal pictures, and vice versa, and that's about the extent of it when i'm not staying with them for breaks. mom's...Difficult(TM) and dad i get along with fine but i don't really know how to text him 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?drowns. i want to be able to actually taste it.93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?my hair is too short to really have Different Styles. i just keep it combed pretty neatly bc that's the only thing i know how to do afngjdsgf94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?my friend emma @autisticsansamaybe people i care less about had them more recently but tbh if we aren't friends i don't know when your birthday is without being told96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?i have literally never updated this laptop because it does not have space for an update. this isn't even my fault. i have deleted *every single thing on it that is not important to make it actually run* in order to have enough space to update, and it STILL doesn't. 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?a few months ago i would have said 5 years into the past, because i Desperately missed aspects of how my life was at that part of high school--mostly having people i loved and who loved me, who wanted a future with me, and the certainty of that, that i wouldn't just be On My Own Forever post educational system--but now? future. high school fucking *sucked* in a lot of ways, and also i was a terrible person and i don't especially want to go back to that version of me. future is like...scary because yeah there is a decent possibility i'll just be pretty much totally alone and having to work a job i hate to keep up, but like. there is also a possibility that i'll have the things i wanted all along in a more stable context, yknow?

#suicide ment /#alcohol ment /#ask memes #long post #very long post ajhnfgsf im so sorry

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chemicalbrew · 7 years

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tagged

by @imnotacyborg. thank you pal keep it coming lol

(tagging @kpoppingllama @clint-bartcn and @luastris)

1. Name/Nickname: Veronica / Zelda (from the Zelda Moore alias i’ve been using for years in a whole lot of places) / Lyn i guess?? tho no one calls me that anymore.... i still like it however, it’s like i’m kin with her but also really not lmao (Lyndis’s the best lord cmon!! i Love Her Very Much)

2. Gender: F

3. Star sign: Scorpio

4. Height: is fake

5. Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw

6. Favourite animal: cats/owls

(the rest is under the cut)

7. Hours of sleep: uh like 7 when im studying maybe because i love wrecking myself. rn it feels like 9-10 and it’s Good

8. Dogs or cats: see above

9. Number of blankets: pretty sure it’s two atm

10. Dream trip: england please i’m Begging

11. Dream job: being rich idk smth to do with coding/translating maybe. my options are limited af anyway and I Really Do Not Want To Think About This Thanks

12. Time: 18:52 when i’d seen this question / 19:58 at the time of posting. these things take a while but it’s okay, i don’t mind

13. Birthday: october 28th (we’re exactly a month apart, cool)

14. Favourite bands: uh

does Meine Meinung count because their chrono covers are godlike and my music taste is Tresh? no?? okay then go check ODESZA out there’s more than one of them lol

15. Favourite solo artist: ...and this is where i realise that 90% of songs i’ve been listening to during the past month are related to CT and i can’t name an artist coherently really...

i still love Porter though so there’s That. and also Paul Kalkbrenner has lots of nice chill music!

16. Song stuck in my head:

CORRIDORS OF TIME!!

youtube

BECAUSE OF COURSE !!!!!!!!!!!

17. Last movie I watched: fuck, i actually can’t remember if i’ve watched anything since wonder woman... no, i don’t think i have

18. Last show I watched: star vs the forces of evil. blame my dad. but also it’s not bad so i don’t mind, really

19. When did I create my blog: pretty sure it hit its third anniversary a couple months ago

20. What do I post/reblog: literally everything i like?? i think my about page would give you a glimpse of an idea

21. Last thing I googled: ....a walkthru for secret of mana bc i have no idea where we ended up and what should i do.

oh, whatever, i gave the protag a shitty name (FFFF. i just wanted to see what the game was about, so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) and was planning to start from scratch anyway

22. Other blogs: this is the only one active

23. Do I get asks: once in a blood moon lmao. i try my best to be polite and answer quickly though

24. Why did I choose my URL: come ON!? it’s a canon Daft Punk URL ft. one of top 3 best songs on Homework (imo)!! and also the music vid is amazing and every day when i look back at my URL and remember all of this is a blessed day. and thanks to this question, today has been blessed as well!

it’s not like i would mind changing to something related to CT though... (like guardia-castle, i love that one)

25. Following: 826

26. Followers: 260 (hi, pls know that if you are human, you are appreciated!!)

27. Lucky number: 7

28. Favourite instruments: “...and I zed: ‘wait a zecond, I know de zyntezyzzer, why don't I use de zyntezyzzer?’“

i don’t have any favorite instruments really, because i can’t play any, but i couldn’t let this reference pass, sorry. and also, you know, synthesizers are extremely cool on their own and i remember wanting to be capable of playing one as a kid, so

29. What am I wearing: soft soft pajamas!! hell yes

and also my boots bc i have to wear my boots but i’m gonna take them off soon

30. Favourite food: pasta. I even used that when I started EarthBound a few days ago!

31. Nationality: Russian

32. Favorite song: see #16 - CT’s music is literally my lifeblood ATM

33. Last book I read: Replay: The History of Video Games by Tristan Donovan. Myst just came out and the Sega vs Nintendo rivalry is at its peak, if you want to know where i’m at. and if this kind of stuff interests u as well, pls find a way to read this book, it’s been doing its job wonderfully so far!

34. Top three fictional universes I’d like to join:

admit it, when Hyrule’s just been saved from evil and there’s no monsters and stuff, it looks like the perfect place to live in

Ylisse doesn’t sound half bad either (if only bc of the prospect of marrying Chrom. yes, i said that, come the fuck at me, i’ve been shipping chrobin for years.)

but most importantly....

(honestly, if someone offered me to live at the millennial fair, i’d go there in a heartbeat)

#zero.txt #i'm being tagged a lot and it's #good

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roachfurby · 7 years

Text

Soft Asks

I was tagged by @i-nq! Thank you for tagging me!

1. what’s your favourite song(s) to sing/hum?

Right now its tied between Loreley by Blackmore’s Night, and Dear Dictator by Saint Motel. But honestly it changes day-to-day

2. what’s your favourite flower/tree/plant?

I really love Skeleton Flowers. They’re white normally, but they turn clear if they get wet. Also Lamb’s Ear! those little soft fuzzy plants.

3. favourite colours?

Any of the primaries

4. what do you always doodle?

Eyes. There are eyes on every one of my papers from high school. I was approached by my counselor once, bc a teacher reported my doodles to her as “worrying” and “unsettling”

5. how do you take your coffee/tea?

Step One: put coffee in cup

Step Two: set it down

Step Three: forget about it until its cold and then sadly pour it down the sink

6. favourite candle scent?

Right now I’ve got a candle that smells like cedarwood and spice. it smells like a lumberjack giving me a nice warm hug.

7. sunrise or sunset?

Sunrise, though I’m never awake to see it lmao

8. what perfume do you wear?

I don’t know if it has a different name but it’s from Hugo Boss. My brother gave it to me (read as: he never used it so I stole it from him)

9. what’s your go-to dance move when you’re alone?

I don’t. I can’t dance to save my life

10. favourite quote?

I don’t know that I have a favorite quote. Tbh though pretty much anything the McElroy’s say is my favorite quote.

11. favourite self care routine(s)?

Shower, take a nap with my heated blanket. Then get up, order a pizza, and play Dragon Age or Skyrim, take a few breaks to read some fics. My self-care mostly revolves around distracting myself from an issue or sensory overload. Otherwise I’ll stew over it, hyper-focus on it, and have rolling panic attacks.

12. fuzzy socks or house slippers?

Why not both?

13. what colour are your eyes?

Blue!

14. what’s your favourite eye colour on others?

doesn’t really matter? All eyes are pretty.

15. favourite season?

Autumn

16. cheek, neck, or nose kisses?

HHhhh neck kisses are a weakness for my little gay heart

17. what does your happy place look like?

A little cottage in the woods, filled with all sorts of herbs, plants, crystals, and various interesting witchy stuff. Lots of really old, tattered, hardcover books. It’s not a real place yet. One day.

18. favourite breed of dog?

Caucasian Shepard/Russian Bear Dog! Massive, fluffy, great for hugs.

19. do you ever want to be married? if so, what colours would you pick for your wedding?

Maybe one day? Navy blue and black. I know white is traditional for “purity” but navy and black are traditional for “cool as shit”

20. cursive or print?

Print, usually. My cursive is awful.

21. favourite weather?

Overcast, rainy.

I’d tag people but I’m having an Anxiety Day so i’m gonna raincheck on that. If you want to do this and say that I tagged you, go ahead. I love these things tbh!!

#tag #trashe.txt #thanks for tagging me!!!

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janiedean · 7 years

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(part 1) ur gonna roast me for this but im legit curious why mafia AUs are so bad? im asking in a non confrontational way, i get it romanticizing mafia is wrong, but i also believe that 1)most mafia AUs are a really toned down type of mafia;2)they do make for some interesting kinds of dynamics with fanart and with fics; 3)in a fic specifically u can create your own world and call something mafia and still make it so they don't kill innocent people but only idk members of other gangs or sth

(part 2) plus theyre a way to put ur charas in a completely diff context and see what theyll do. i mean i dont believe that writing ships in a certain context (like mafia) equals romanticizing that context. mafia AUs arent even my fav things to read (in fact i almost never do), im sure many ppl romanticize it and i obvs dont agree with that but im just trying to udnerstand bc i believe fandoms are a way to explore things that we normally wouldnt.

I’m not gonna roast you don’t worry xD okay wait let me check if I replied to this already if yes I’m gonna c/p because it’s half past midnight otherwise I’ll just go at it again wait *checks tags* fff obviously I don’t have a general post but anyway pls read this after you’ve done with my post and then this which is also choke-full of links. plus for a (not nice) laugh: here. AH WAIT I FOUND THE POST.

okay, so, let’s have it out of the way: I have nothing against mob aus or crime aus. I have a problem against calling them mafia AUs because in the US mafia = organized crime at large, in Italy mafia = ACTUAL EXISTING ORGANIZATIONS THAT ARE ACTIVELY HARMFUL. now that I introduced the topic I’ll c/p you the reply I gave to another anon who while discussing the issue pointed out that most writers don’t even know Italian mafia is a thing, which is pretty much on the same discourse so...

*The thing is - in the US it might not be enough of a deal anymore and I honestly do get why people make the mafia = regular mobsters, since the mafia was the first foreign organized crime being exported to the US via italian immigrants (sorry if this sounds horrible in English but I just woke up and I still didn’t have coffee) so I understand that mafia became the umbrella term.But the thing is that - as you said, these people don’t even know that there’s a mafia in Italy anymore or where the word comes from.

I’m going to link to italiansreclaimingitaly’s tag about the mafia and its perception outside Italy because they posted about this extensively and it’s an excellent resource, but meanwhile I’m gonna do a very short bullet point list and about the topic:

Mafia might not be a big deal in the US, but it still is here. We have the beauty of four different mafias (Cosa Nostra - the Sicilian one, camorra which is the one in Campania but has tendrils spread everywhere, the 'ndrangheta which is in Calabria and the Sacra Corona Unita in Puglia) which are all active [especially camorra and 'ndrangheta] and whose actions have direct impact (negative) on our economy and on our society. Actually mafias are one of the main reasons we’re currently economically fucked up, and if I start talking about how mafia culture keeps some areas literally backwards I could talk about it for three months.

There are still people who are killed for standing up against them. These days the most prominent personality is Roberto Saviano who is a writer who dared to put together a book documenting minutely the way camorra works and he’s been living under protection for years by this point. Like, they want him dead because he wrote a book. And I’m sorta sure that he was talking about leaving Italy and going to the US after years of sticking with it here because he can’t take it anymore but I don’t know if it was a taken decision or if it’s still debating it.

It wasn’t even thirty years ago that we had the stragi di mafia - in english it’d be something like the mafia slaughters, basically around the beginning of the nineties there were a number of bombs planted by the mafia targeting people who were trying to oppose it including judges Falcone and Borsellino, actually the anniversary of Falcone’s death is like... tomorrow. And they’ve killed people for way longer than that. Here is a list of only Cosa Nostra victims including the ones from the eighties/nineties. And people are still dying because of it. The slaughters I’m referring to are just the ones in the nineties which are enough of a number.

They also perpetuate a culture where if you testify against your mafia-employed relatives you’ll be shunned forever. There are women who testified against their families and couldn’t see their children anymore never mind that they weren’t automatically considered a relative anymore the moment they sided against the mafia. Some people have committed suicide after becoming witnesses also because our police force/justice system can be terribly non-supportive in this kind of situation so they got left on their own. Never mind that back in the day - it was the beginning of the nineties? - I recall at least a particular story of - I think, correct me if I remember wrong but I can’t remember the names for the life of me - where this guy testified against the local mafia when he either used to work for them or was forced to pay them the pizzo and in retaliation his six-year old (or five? Anyway he had a son younger than ten for sure) got kidnapped, killed and thrown into acid to dispose of the body. That happened in what, 1993? 1994? It’s pretty much yesterday. And now the camorra is doing the same - there’s a list here of camorra victims among which accidental passerbys that got killed because they were in the way which I can tell just by glancing is not complete. And I’m not even going into the 'ndrangheta. That is to say, here mafia still kills people and cripples our country.

Now, I get that it’s a word, but the point was: let’s say that instead of the Italians the Japanese came to the US first and the umbrella word for organized crime was yakuza rather than mafia and let’s say yakuza was still what it was originally in Japan while in the US it stopped being a big deal and people write yakuza!AU instead of mafia AU. Let’s say someone Japanese gets angry at that and goes like 'listen the yakuza is a real deal it does this this this and that and it’s a plague in our country so can you please at least look it up before writing your fanfic’, which is what had happened way back then when this whole mafia and fanfic thing blew up. A bunch of people told us to get over it because it’s just a word and if it’s a problem in Italy it’s not in the US so why should they care? Now, if we had been Japanese (or Chinese or Russian or Mexican) would they have said the same thing? Considering the general tumblr attitude I’m pretty sure they would have received either an apology or 'this is an important deal let’s keep that in mind’ with signal boost reblogs and stuff.

It’s the fact that we should get over people not knowing that it’s still a real problem for us and that they can’t take five seconds to google it that is the problem imo. Especially when instead of mafia au you can just say mobsters au or tag it as organized crime and everyone is a lot happier, mostly because as the tag above explains romanticising the mafia is a good thing for them because it means they can act outside Italy with less stigma because everyone thinks that the mafia is dead or not relevant anymore, if I’m explaining myself. (And it’s active outside Italy - like, there was a mafia kill in Germany in 2007 where six people died (sorry the link is in Italian but there isn’t an English wiki page, if you look the city up you’ll find something probably) and it was because of the 'ndrangheta.

I’d really like to not get worked over it because it meant it was a thing of the past y'know, but the problem is that it isn’t and I’d rather spread some awareness in hope some of these writers look it up (because it’s a good thing that people know what mafia is since as stated they have tendrils everywhere - if you read Saviano’s book the entire first chapter is about how camorra regularly deals with Chinese import/export in Italy for one) than shrug and figure that since they’ll think everything is good for fanfic then it’s not even worth my time.*

Now, ^^^ that was the c/p-ed reply that should answer most of your doubts. What I didn’t address was:

im sure many ppl romanticize it and i obvs dont agree with that but im just trying to udnerstand bc i believe fandoms are a way to explore things that we normally wouldnt.

aaaand as we say here in Italy, this is where the donkey falls (sorry we have weird sayings), because in theory there’s nothing wrong with that... except that in 99% of the mafia aus I’ve seen around the thing is that they’re supposed to be cute.

like, I see a lot of shit with TINY MAFIA BOSS STEVE ROGERS with RUSSIAN ENFORCER BUCKY (????? bucky isn’t even russian???) and the yoi thing I saw before had the japanese character being the leader of a russian mafia gang which is... like... guys it doesn’t happen it really doesn’t, and a lot of them re-use wrongly terminology taken from the godfather without context or knowing what the hell it means, and it’s always from the criminals’ pov and they’re somehow seen as criminals doing justice where the police can’t (???) and like... no. mafia bosses/enforcers/employees are bad people period, and at least here if you try to leave or repent they kill your family in retribution. like, not even ten years ago there’s been a woman who used to belong to a mafia family (or one colluded with the mafia) who testified and her entire town/family shunned her and she couldn’t take it anymore and... killed herself drinking acid if I don’t recall wrong. it’s not even special cases. this shit is not funny, it’s not cute, it’s not adorable and it’s not good fodder for your imagine your otp scenario (srsly I saw one like.. let me find it,

LIKE. just look at this shit. in a regular context, the enforcer goes to the show owner to force them to pay a monthly sum to their boss lest they destroy their shop and their lives and their family’s life never mind that mafia culture is deeply homophobic so the mafia enforcer flirting with the shopkeeper is like completely fucking out of the question. I mean, people here like to shit on the sopranos but that show was actually excellent representation of Horrid Criminals Who Were Never Supposed To Be Good People and the small arc that happened when one of tony’s friends turned out to be gay (closeted) was REALLY well done. btw, it ended that when they found out he was gay most of the crowd rejected him and thought badly of him until I think they killed him also for other reasons, but that spiraled from finding out he liked dick. and that’s american mafia that they actually based on well-done research of the culture in Italy it came from, I assure you that here it doesn’t work that differently. like. the shit above is so inaccurate and frankly offensive, it’s like... I get people romanticizing problematic stuff but the thing is that when you tell them that it’s actually offensive you get brushed off as ‘ah well you’re being too sensitive it’s just a word u__u’. now, I’m all for exploring shit we wouldn’t be into, but not like THAT, because that’s like mafia romantic comedy and that’s not how it works. now, you wanna do a fic where the mafia characters are deeply flawed and bad people and the police tries to catch them? fine, great, go ahead. you wanna do a fic where the enforcer above deals with dunno an entire life of internalized homophobia when he finds the shopkeeper attractive and feels conflicted over having to con money out of him and doing horrible shit for a living and maybe understanding that crime isn’t worth it and then he actually collaborates with the police and gets shit from about everyone he knows and loves for that? okay, awesome, go ahead. nothing bad in that.

but the shit above is not exploring things we wouldn’t/writing darkfic, it’s THINKING THAT A CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION WHICH IS STILL A THING IN OUR PART OF THE WORLD IS CUTE AND ADORABLE. and that only plays in their favor because it takes the bad aura out of the word and we really should not let that happen. like. that is what is bad about mafia aus and mafia discourse, that people don’t realize the mafia is alive and well and thriving and not a thing that doesn’t exist or a generic word for organized crime.

you wanna write the shit above? okay, CALL IT CRIME AU or mob au, not mafia au.

btw, add-on: idk if I mentioned it in the above post or not, but in case I didn’t, I said that people would balk at the idea of a mexican cartel au. sadly since then I’ve found out a fandom where not only there is one but it’s also extra cutesy and people apparently love it and it has a bunch of kudos/comments and idek I’m not even touching that with a ten foot pole but like... I’ve avoided it and everything that author wrote because to me it’s just... nope. like, nope. if you do mafia aus don’t make them fucking cute. (also: in the same fandom I had to mute a v. famous fanartist whose art I actually liked but did cutesy mafia aus and.. like... haahahhaahahahahaha nah sorry. can’t go there. nope.)

#mafia #mafia for ts #Anonymous #ask post

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