#gay Christmas movies year 2

[eugeniedanglars]

i’m rewatching a christmas prince for the first time since it came out and between this and falling for christmas—yall, i don’t know if it’s just that i’m feeling extra festive this year or if vespers are the secret ingredient to making christmas romcoms good, but goddamn, i am so much more engrossed in this movie than i was the first time around and i think i unironically like cheesy christmas romcoms now??

[vaspider]

Pete Buttigieg is just a faggot.

It's very important to me that younger queers understand this: to the people who you're trying to be more respectable for when you say things like neopronouns set the trans movement back or you're why the cishets don't accept us or including [aces/bi people with the 'wrong kind' of partners/non-binary people/kinksters/non-passing trans ppl/furries/polyam people] just hurts us, can't you wait until we get all our rights before we talk about some of yours? -- to those people? Pete Buttigieg is just a fag.

On Sunday at Pride Northwest, some kids -- late teens, early 20s -- asked what our button I survived Reagan for this? meant. All of the queer adults at the tables making up our ad hoc counter looked at each other and sighed a little. Emet and another adult started to explain the way that the Reagan Administration handled -- or didn't handle -- the beginning of the AIDS crisis. How many people died. How much we were ignored. The Ashes Action. The Time Magazine article which explicitly blamed bisexual men for passing the pandemic to the cishet community, playing on all the worst stereotypical bullshit. The way that even when the CDC started paying attention, they were so focused on gay men that they ignored AIDS in the lesbian community, leading to the "women don't get AIDS, they just die from it" poster. And so on.

I finished counting out change and passed the last Bear Pride raised fist pin over to a bear a little older than me, then turned my head and interjected, "they didn't care until it started infecting more than just the fags." I turned my head back and handed him his change. He laughed bitterly and said, "remember when they called it 'gay cancer?'"

That what I need you to understand. The people for whom you are folding yourself into smaller and smaller boxes will never see you as anything but a freak. A queer. A dyke. A tranny. A fag.

Never.

These are people who will stand by and let you wither away and die alone, gasping for breath in a cinderblock room, and not even claim your ashes, and they will say you deserve it, because of your lifestyle. If they speak of you at all it will be by the wrong name, with the pictures you hate the most. They will curse at your lover, throw him out of the home you shared, and steal the gift you gave last Christmas to throw it in the trash just so he can't have it and they'll say Jesus loves you! while they do it. They'll feel good and righteous and blessed and holy and pure for doing it.

And for them, you spit in the eye of your sister. For them, you disavow your sibling. For their sake, you trim away bits of your heart and lace yourself up tight. Never too loud. Never too queer. Never inconvenient or embarrassing, never asking for too much.

Pete Buttigieg is what happens when your Boomer dad turns out gay. Middle America. Parents still married. Suburban-sprouted. Valedictorian. Harvard-educated. Rhodes Scholarship. Military service. More power to him: I hope he and Chasten are very happy together. Genuinely, I do.

You couldn't create a more respectable gay if you grew one in a lab run by concerned voter focus groups.

But Pete Buttigieg? Is just a fag.

That's the part you don't seem to get: when they abandoned us, they abandoned all of us. Rock Hudson was a beloved movie star and even personally friendly with that horrid pair of ambitious jackals. Nancy Reagan refused to help him get into the only place in the world that could treat him at the time, and he died.

It was 1985, 4 years after the CDC first released papers on what would eventually become known as HIV/AIDS and 7 years after the first known death from an infection from HIV-2. Reagan hadn't even said the word AIDS by the time Hudson died.

Pete Buttigieg is just a fag, and so am I. Unless I'm a dyke, which seems to depend on who's yelling what from which window and what day it is.

Yes, there will be people who genuinely love and accept you. Those people are worth all the frustration of the rest, thankfully, and they're the ones who love you in a pup mask or a leather harness and a neon jock like the ones sold by the men up the row from us last weekend. They're the ones who laugh out loud when you tell them you hid the word "dyke" in your company name, the ones who love you in all your messiness and uncertainty and the way you don't fit into neat boxes all scrubbed up and clean.

Most cishets, though... well, they don't actively mean you specifically any harm, at least not when they have to look at you. Not when you're right there in front of them. Maybe they'll be okay with you, personally, especially if you're the kind of gay who makes a good rhetorical device, and as long as you remain a good rhetorical device.

They need people to know that they don't have a problem with the gays, after all, and there you are, being all convenient. You make a nice token, and as long as you do, well. You're useful.

But they call you by your deadname when you're not around, and they put the wrong pronouns in your medical record even though they met you years after you came out, and they won't put themselves out to save you. Not one little bit.

I didn't want to be here again. The year I graduated from high school was the worst year of the AIDS crisis. The world into which I became an adult was a world in which an advisor and friend to Reagan, William F. Buckley, openly advocated for forcibly tattooing the HIV status of HIV+ gay men on their buttocks (and IV drug users on their forearms), and in which my father not only told me that when I was 14 or so, but when was told me that he'd advocated for that tattoo being "over their assholes."

(Buckley wrote that in '86, but he doubled down on it in 2005.

Fucker.)

But yeah. I didn't want to be here again. I wanted my daughter to inherit a better world. I wanted Obergefell and Lawrence v. Texas and Hope & Change to really mean something. I work for it, today and all days. I haven't given up.

I need you to know that, too. This isn't a white flag. I'm not surrendering. This isn't over. To misquote Henry Rollins, this is what Marsha and Sylvia and Stormé and Leslie and Brenda and Auntie Sugar trained us for. This is punk rock time.

But I need you to understand that if Pete Buttigieg is just a fag, if that human embodiment of a Wonder Bread, mayo and Oscar Meyer bologna sandwich is not respectable enough for them -- and he's not -- then the rest of us have absolutely no hope of measuring up. Not even if we trim away every colorful, beautiful piece of our community, not even if the Sisters Of Perpetual Indulgence vanish into the ether, not even if we sacrifice the five elements of vogue on the altar of white supremacist cishet middle-class conformity: we can't trim ourselves down to something they'll accept.

The only other option is radical acceptance of our queer selves. The only other option is solidarity. The only other option is for fats and femme queens and drags and kinksters and queers and zine writers and sex workers and furries and addicts and kids and the ones who can look us in the eye and see all of us to say we're here, we're queer, get used to it just the way we did 30 years ago. It's revolutionary, complete and total acceptance of our entire community, not just the ones the cishets can pretend to be comfortable with as long as we don't challenge them too much, or it's conceding the shoreline inch by inch to the rising waters of fascism until we've got nowhere left to stand and some of us start drowning.

That's it. Either it's all of us or it's none of us, because if we leave the answer up to the Reagans of the world and all the people who enabled him in the name of lower taxes and Democrats who wring their hands, weeping oh I don't agree with it but we'll lose the election if we fight it right now, the answer is none of us.

The brunch gays can come, too, I guess.

[metalandmagi]

A list of underrated Christmas movies for everyone who is getting tired of watching the same things every year:

This year, I wanted to make a list of a few Christmas movies that I feel are a bit underrated and under-appreciated, because I’m tired of seeing the same things all the time. If anyone has any suggestions for their own lesser known holiday movies, please feel free to include them!

Arthur Christmas: An animated movie that should be a classic, but it was unfortunately lost to time because it had a horrible marketing campaign that made it look like complete shit. Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s not complete shit. It’s actually fucking amazing.

Arthur, the clumsy son of the current Santa Claus is known for being a lovable idiot who tends to ruin everything he touches, but when a little girl’s present is accidentally left behind one Christmas, Arthur, an elf named Bryony, and his grandfather (a previous Santa…so grandsanta) embark on a chaotic mission around the world to deliver the missing present. Every character in this movie is so fucking funny and empathetic at the same time. Arthur embodies the true meaning of Christmas in everything he does. Bryony is just…on another level entirely. Arthur’s brother Steve (a strategic genius who wants to use his new technology to ensure his place as the next Santa) is a perfect antagonist that the audience still feels sympathy for. They all just have such a fun dynamic, and it’s a crime that more people haven’t seen this.

Spirited: A fairly new addition to the Christmas movie ranks, since it came out in 2022 (but it was on AppleTV+ so no one watched it). Spirited is a modern, musical version of A Christmas Carol like you’ve never seen before (starring Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynolds, who are an amazing combination in anything). If you’re tired of seeing endless retellings of Dickens' story, just watch this. It’s hilarious, heartfelt, and it brings a whole new perspective to the story in a way that I’m not going to spoil. And the songs go so hard it’s insane.

Happiest Season: A rom-com in which a woman named Abby desperately wants to propose to her girlfriend Harper over the holidays during Harper’s family Christmas party…only to realize that Harper’s extremely rich and conservative family doesn’t know she’s gay. Fun rom-com shenanigans ensue. Did I mention Abby is played by Kristen Stewart, and Harper is played by Mackenzie Davis? Also Aubrey Plaza, Alison Brie, and that guy from Schitt’s Creek everyone loves are in it.

This could easily have been a completely different movie if the cast wasn't so funny and didn’t have such good chemistry. It starts out as a standard holiday rom-com, but I was tearing up by the end of this the first time I watched it. If you’ve ever felt like you’ve been hiding your true self from your family or if you’ve felt like you’ve never been good enough for them, I think you’ll see a lot to relate to in this. 

Violent Night: Another new addition to the ever-expanding list of Christmas movies, this aptly named action thriller also came out in 2022, and I feel like no one has spoken about it since, which is a crime because IT WAS SO MUCH FUCKING FUN!

When a grizzled, down on the world Santa (played by David Harbour) gets stuck in a rich family’s house while it’s being overrun by mercenaries, he has to Die Hard his way out and save the hostages (or at least the ones who are worth saving) before it’s too late. This was such a fun surprise, because violent action thrillers are so hit and miss for me personally. David Harbour is great. It’s just under 2 hours of watching shitty people get their comeuppance in unique ways. I’m so offended that it only has a 6.7/10 on IMDB, because this is a great movie to watch with a group of friends and some age appropriate beverages. Yeah, it’s not a masterpiece, and maybe my standards are low, but I had a great time with this.

Tokyo Godfathers: An anime Christmas classic directed by Satoshi Kon in which 3 homeless people (a former drag queen, a runaway teen, and a grumpy alcoholic) find a baby in a dumpster and try to reunite it with its family. This was the movie that tricked me into thinking Satoshi Kon’s other works would be just as comedic and wholesome as this one. It’s got humor. It’s got heart. It’s got twists and turns that will keep you guessing in the classic Satoshi Kon fashion. And the English dub is just as good as the sub, so you can’t go wrong either way.

Neo Yokio- Pink Christmas: Speaking of anime…I’ve talked about this one before, but I have to mention it again because it’s a staple for me every year. Pink Christmas is the Christmas special for the…anime (and I use that word in the loosest way possible) Neo Yokio…aka the one starring (and possibly made by?) Jaden Smith.

For anyone who’s never heard of it, Neo Yokio is a series on Netflix that is the closest thing to a professionally made Abridged Series we’ll ever have. The “plot” of the series revolves around Kaz, a pink haired guy who fights demons and does increasingly absurd rich people things with his robot mecha butler named Charles. The Christmas special involves Charles telling Kaz a Christmas story about the city’s Secret Santa competition for all the ultra rich people.

Look, there’s no good way to describe this one, but trust me when I say you don’t have to watch Neo Yokio to understand it, since even people who do watch Neo Yokio don’t understand it. In fact, I think it will be even funnier if you don’t watch Neo Yokio at all before watching Pink Christmas (but I encourage everyone to watch the series too, just because it’s more of the same insanity.)

Every line in it is pure comedic gold, not because it’s truly funny, but because it’s absurd and ridiculous in a way only Jaden Smith can be. I quote it incessantly while eating a Toblerone every year. 

Cabin Pressure at Christmas: Molokai: Okay, it’s not a movie or even a TV special, but I love Cabin Pressure so much that I had to include this too. Cabin Pressure is a comedy radio show (not a podcast, an actual radio show) that aired on BBC Radio 4 in the early 2000s about an airline crew for the world’s shittiest airplane. 

For anyone who watched season 2 of Good Omens, you might recognize the name John Finnemore as one of the writers. Well, Cabin Pressure is made by (and stars) the same person. The Christmas episode is one of my favorites of the series, and you 100% don’t need to listen to the entire series to enjoy it. It captures the humor and despair of being stuck with your co-workers on Christmas eve, but it keeps up the spirit regardless. This is another one I quote incessantly, and the whole show has become hardwired into my personality. PLEASE FIND A WAY TO LISTEN TO CABIN PRESSURE! I’m pretty sure the whole series is available on iTunes as an audiobook.

As honorable mentions, I want to include Rise of the Guardians and Klaus, because even though they have a fair amount of popularity, I still feel like people could appreciate them more. And sure, Rise of the Guardians might be more of an Easter movie, but it still includes Santa as a character, and he’s amazing. 

That's all for now. Sorry these are all specifically Christmas themed, but if anyone has movie suggestions for other winter holidays, please throw them in!

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Barbara Stanwyck (Ball of Fire, The Lady Eve, Double Indemnity)—I hope someone else has submitted better propaganda than I because I don't want my girl's prospects to rest on me just yelling PLEASE VOTE FOR MY TERRIBLE HOT GIRLFRIEND. She is a delight in everything! She is often a sexy jerk! (It's most of the plot of Baby Face!) Even when she plays a "good girl" (as an example, Christmas in Connecticut, which more people should see) she's still kind of a jerk and I love her for it! She won't take men's shit and she sure wouldn't take mine!

Margaret Lockwood (The Wicked Lady, The Lady Vanishes)— Gorgeous feisty funny talented and the sexiest stubborn face ever committed to film. And if people haven't seen the original Wicked Lady they need to be introduced to a glorious poly highway romp of a film. When a woman outsneers James Mason you know she has sex appeal!

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Margaret Lockwood:

Barbara Stanwyck:

"THE leading lady of the golden age of hollywood. One of the only actresses to work independent of a studio, making short-term contracts that enabled her to make movies wherever she wanted. She had so much range, and could act in basically any genre. She's been rumored to be a lesbian literally since she was active in Hollywood; most notable is the rumor that she had a long time on-and-off relationship with famously bi Joan Crawford, her "best friend" for decades (They lived right next door to one another). She also lived with Helen Ferguson, her "live-in publicist" for many years. She was the quintessential femme fatale in Double Indemnity, and really pushed sexual boundaries in her pre-code films like Baby Face, and the famous screwball The Lady Eve, where she plays basically a downlow domme. Allegedly, when a journalist asked her if she was a lesbian, she straight up threw him out of her house. She even played a lesbian in Walk on the Wild Side"

"THE queen of screwball comedies. I adore her, I'd kill for her, I will cry if she's not gonna win this poll."

"listen ok she had awful politics she was a mccarthyist right wing wacko BUT she's so incredibly hot that i've deluded myself into believing i could fix her. if you see her onscreen she carries herself in a way that's just so effortlessly sexy AND she has just a stunning face. imo she was at her hottest in the 1940s but even as early as the late 1920s she had a rly captivating screen presence and just a beautiful face, and then post-1950 she was just irresistibly milfy so really she was just always incredibly hot. she was also an incredibly talented actress who was equally stellar in melodrama, film noir, and unhinged screwball comedy. the blonde wig they made her wear in double indemnity is notoriously silly looking but she still looks sexy in it so that's gotta count for something. i've watched so many terrible movies just for a chance at seeing her that i think her estate should be paying me damages."

"Not often thought of for her sultriness, Barbara Stanwyck was incredible in that she could actually choose to be hot if the role called for it, and then have a glow-down to look ordinary for another role. She wasn't the most beautiful or effervescent, but damn did she have rizz. Watch her with Gary Cooper in Ball of Fire teaching him about "yum-yum" or with Henry Fonda in The Lady Eve whispering huskily into his ear."

"She is always the smartest woman in the room. Watching her play Henry Fonda like a befuddled fiddle in The Lady Eve was a highlight of my life. Femme fatale in Double Indemnity, comedy queen in Ball of Fire. She can do anything."

"She was part of my gay awakening"

"SHE'S A PRE-CODE QUEEN. She did everything, drama, comedy. The most beautiful woman in the world to watch weep. Beg for to step on you with those legs. Fun Babs story: Ginger Rogers was offered the role in Ball of Fire but said, “Oh, I would never play that part, she’s too common.” So they called Barbara Stanwyck and they said “We offered this to Ginger Rogers but she’s turned it down, would you be interested?” And she read the script and she said; “You bet! I LOVE playing common broads. [link]"

[ladykailitha]

The Magic of Christmas Part 5/8

The paladin theory is something that a good friend of mine came up with, that if a person was playing them unironically they tended to be self-righteous assholes who actually believed they were holier than thou. Now if you were doing it for fun or to riff on how paladins were self-righteous jerks, then it didn't apply.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

***

September was the hardest on Steve. All the kids were away at school, busy being students and living their lives. If it hadn’t been for Eddie, he wasn’t sure what he would have done.

“Who are you going to work on next?” Steve asked around his slice of pizza.

Eddie wiped his hands on his jeans. “The ranger sounded more fun, so Lucas is next.”

“You got a thing against paladins?” Steve asked, throwing him a couple of napkins.

“Every person that I have ever known that played one unironically have been assholes so...”

Steve started laughing and Eddie cocked his head to the side.

“What’s so funny?”

He wiped away a stray tear. “Mike is exactly like that.”

Eddie blinked. “Wait, really?”

Steve nodded, his eyes continuing to water as he fought back bales of laughter.

Eddie started laughing, too. Soon they were falling over each other just laughing their asses off when the girls found them like that ten minutes later.

“We are gone for less than an hour,” Chrissy huffed, “and we come back to find you giggling like children. Did Eddie break out the weed or something?”

The two men shook their heads.

“I was telling about Mike,” Steve insisted, “and he was telling me his theory that people that play paladins are assholes.”

Robin blinked for a moment and then started laughing too. Which set Steve and Eddie off again.

Chrissy just shook her head and put away the dessert Robin and she got, bringing out the beer to the sofa.

By the time she had finished all three of them had calmed down enough to explain.

“I’m going to have to tell the guys about this on Sunday,” Eddie said, holding his ribs.

“What happens on Sunday?” Robin asked, flopping on the sofa next to him.

Chrissy sat down on Eddie’s other side. “D&D with the Hellfire Club. Eddie DMs, while Jeff, Gareth, Brian and I play. It’s fun. Gareth has been fiercely battling Eddie over that nugget for years.”

Eddie grinned, all teeth. “He’s only bitter because he plays a paladin.”

That got them all laughing hysterically.

“That’s hilarious,” Robin said after they managed to calm down.

“So what’s on the docket tonight for my reeducation or whatever it is we call these things,” Steve asked.

“A double feature,” Eddie said excitedly. “Muppet fantasy. It’s fantastic.”

Steve turned to Robin, “I didn’t know Tammy Thompson made movies.”

Robin gasped. “You take that back!”

Chrissy and Eddie just looked at each in confusion.

“She sang like a Muppet!” Steve insisted.

“She did not!” Robin hissed. “She absolutely did not!”

Steve leaned over to get in her face. “Like a Muppet giving birth!”

“You’re horrible!” Robin groused.

Steve turned to the other two with a smile. “Tammy was Robin’s first baby gay crush in high school. She thought she could sing but she was the only one who thought so. Well, not counting the music teacher and her mother.”

Then he proceeded to sing horribly and high pitched so that everyone was laughing. Yes, even Robin.

“All right she was that bad,” Robin finally conceded.

Steve waved his hand at her. “Thank you!”

“I didn’t know you two met in high school,” Chrissy said. “That’s cute.”

Steve and Robin looked at each other and then burst out laughing.

“Everyone knew who Steve was,” Robin said, “captain of two of the three sports he played in. Rich, good looking, popular with the ladies. It was annoying.”

“I was also a bit of a mean girl,” Steve said with a half shrug. “We didn’t meet until after I graduated when my dad forced me to take the most humiliating job at the mall.”

Robin shuddered. “It was horrible. It was a nautical themed ice cream shop in the food court and we had wear these tiny sailor outfits.”

“Like the shorts on the boys’ costume was shorter than the girls’,” Steve said. “We measured.”

“At least the girls’ costume had shorts instead of skirt,” Chrissy said.

“Thank you!” Steve said throwing his arms in the air. “Tell that to this one!” He pointed at Robin.

“I would have gotten more dates if it had been a skirt is all I’m saying,” she replied haughtily.

“You were getting dates while I was getting made fun of,” Steve groused. “It was the stupid hat. It wouldn’t sit right for a start. My hair is too thick. I even tried not styling it. Nope still refused to stay on straight. Plus, I was famous for my hair in high school, so I thought it was hiding my best feature.”

Robin giggled. “I had a whiteboard and everything. ‘YOU SUCK’ on one side and ‘YOU RULE’ on the other. He never did get a single mark in that one.”

Eddie licked his lips slowly. “There–there wouldn’t be pictures of this is... outfit, would there?”

Robin threw her head back and laughed. “There’s a commercial.”

“No!” Chrissy gasped. “This I have to see!”

Robin grabbed the remote and found the YouTube channel for their smart TV. She logged into Eddie’s account with a grin.

When Steve realized what she was going to do, he made a dive for the remote. But Eddie tackled him to the floor.

“Quick!” Chrissy said. “What’s the name of the shop?”

Robin cackled. “Scoops Ahoy!”

Chrissy typed it in on her phone and grabbed the video that clearly had teenaged versions of their friends.

Steve immediately stopped struggling when the opening jingle started, allowing Eddie to get up and watch this absolute disaster of less than a minute’s worth of hell.

“Those are some criminally short shorts, Stevie,” Eddie murmured. He leaned forward and started cackling. “Does the register really say boobies?”

Chrissy leaned forward. “Oh my god! How did you get away with that?”

“Apparently film executives pop out of Hell as fully formed adults who wouldn’t know a joke if it bit them on the ass,” Steve said on the floor. He leaned his head back far enough to see the screen. He sighed. His hair looked like shit.

Eddie poked Steve in the ribs. “You looked cute.”

He held out his hand to Steve, who took it to get up. He plopped on the floor and leaned back against the sofa. “Yeah, you think so now, but I have no doubt you would have teased me for it back then.”

Robin looked at the remote in her hand and then back at Steve. “Sorry. I thought it would be funny. But you didn’t have a good time and that wasn’t fair to you.”

Steve shrugged.

Eddie put his arm around his shoulders. “I might have teased you, but only in the most unhinged flirting kind of way imaginable.”

Chrissy rolled her eyes. “He would have been insufferable about it, too. He would have made me come with every time even though I’m lactose intolerant so that he could make goo-goo eyes at the pretty boy.”

Steve looked up at him. “You think I was pretty?”

“Sweetheart, not was, is.”

Robin smiled at them and then shared a glance with Chrissy. Absolute idiots, the pair of them.

She pressed the remote and got them back their double feature. They started with Dark Crystal and throughout the whole movie, Steve didn’t budge from Eddie’s side as they sat together on the floor, Eddie’s arm still slung over Steve’s shoulders.

It was only when it was over and they took a brief break before starting Labyrinth that Eddie let go at all.

Steve moved to the large sofa, but when Eddie came back, instead of sitting on the floor like he had been before, he squished himself between Chrissy and Steve, forcing Steve to plaster himself against Eddie’s side.

Robin shook her head. It was going to be an eternity before they got to Christmas.

*

“You going to admit you like him now?” Robin asked a couple of days later as they sat on their sofa eating mac and cheese.

Steve sighed. “I can really see myself with him for the long term.”

“So why don’t you make a move then?” she asked, poking him with her toes.

Steve picked at his food with his fork, stabbing the noodles without any real effort to get them to stay. “I don’t know. We’ve talked about it before. You think he’s head over heels and I think he’s just being polite because I’m paying his bills right now.”

“Oh.”

Steve looked up at her and echoed. “Yeah, oh.”

“Shit, Steve,” Robin muttered. “I could ask Chrissy. I bet he tells her everything.”

“Would you tell her if she asked for Eddie if I liked him like that?” he asked, going back and picking at his food.

She deflated. “No. I would tell her he has to talk to you.”

“And I’m not ready for that,” he murmured finally setting his food aside. “There’s too much time between now and Christmas, I don’t want to make things awkward if he doesn’t like me like that.”

Robin winced. Especially for New Year’s eve.

“Yeah, okay,” she conceded. “Just make sure you tell him as soon as you can. You don’t want to wait too long and find out he’s moved on with someone else because he thought you weren’t interested.”

Steve nodded. “I know. I’ve just got to keep up the flirting and teasing so he knows I’m interested and hopefully he’ll make the first move.”

“I really hope this doesn’t blow up in your face.”

“You and me both, Robs. You and me both.”

***

Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

@spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @emly03 @bookworm0690 @itsall-taken @vecnuthy @bookbinderbitch @redfreckledwolf @littlewildflowerkitten @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @scheodingers-muppet @mira-jadeamethyst @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @genderless-spoon @anne-bennett-cosplayer @irregular-child @carlprocastinator1000 @mogami13 @samsoble

[mrghostrat]

some of my favourite good omens fics for @lostscript!

this got so long oh my god. i have to stop, but this is only like 2 pages of my bookmarks, in no particular order. i'll have to make another post eventually, or at least start organising my bookmarks on ao3 to rec things more easily. for now, please enjoy this tasty mix of human aus + angel/demon pining.

First Class (Hons) Christmas, University of Tadfield by heloluv

M • 41k • human AU (professors) this fic is like stepping into a beautiful, cosy, classic, high quality christmas movie. crowley and aziraphale are professors at Tadfield University, and they meet for the first time when aziraphale starts organising the yearly christmas fundraiser. "A Christmas and New Years fic, in which Aziraphale teaches Crowley how to enjoy the most wonderful time of the year."

What We Make Of It (Shotgun Wedding) by charlottemadison

E • 213k • human AU (teacher/guardian) the flow of their growing relationship in this fic is so unique and incredibly written, it seizes my heart on every reread. aziraphale is a high school english teacher, adam is his narcoleptic student, and crowley is adam's uncle/legal guardian. due to crowley's work, he cannot date a teacher, for risk of losing his job and the health insurance that covers adam's condition. but he can, technically, marry one.

Something We Were Withholding Made Us Weak by triedunture

M • 14k • angel/demon (south downs) where pre-relationship aziraphale and crowley retire and move to the south downs cottage before ever talking about their feelings, and come together as they learn to live in tandem.

the bucket list by darcylindbergh

E • 44k • angel/demon (south downs) technically still a wip, but it's been left at a satisfying, conclusive point. after armageddon, pre-relationship crowley and aziraphale decide to work through a list of human activities they haven't done before. they go travelling and dining together, try out hobbies, and end up in a south downs cottage. communication angst as they try to work out what they want from life, and each other.

Of burnt books and courting Crowley by robynvite

E • 11k • angel/demon (post s1) "a year after Armageddon't, Aziraphale finds out two pieces of very startling news: One, Newt and Anathema burned the sequel to Agnes Nutter's Nice and Accurate Prophecies. Two, Crowley was in love with him, and had been since the Beginning." aziraphale attempts to court crowley when he finds out crowley loves him.

Slow Show by mia_ugly

E • 95k • human AU (actors) "two ineffable co-stars only take four seasons of an award-winning television program to realize they’re on their own side." crowley is a washed up PR nightmare and aziraphale is in the closet, married to a beard. crowley is in love with him, and aziraphale falls over the course of the show.

South Downs by summerofspock

E • 76k • human AU (actors) this time, aziraphale is out and proud, whilst crowley needs some help figuring it out. "Blackballed from the industry ten years ago, Anthony Crowley jumps at the chance to star in a new Regency romance miniseries with well-known gay actor Aziraphale Fell in the hopes that it will help him restart his career. The trouble is, Crowley has played all sorts of characters and for the life of him, he can't figure out why he's struggling to play the romantic lead opposite a man."

Not a Mounted Dildo but a Fuck Machine by NaroMoreau, summerofspock

E • 35k • human AU (roommates) "When Aziraphale meets a nice girl on Tinder who he thinks is his perfect match, he's delighted. There's just one hurdle: that pesky virginity thing. Lucky for him, Crowley has always been there for him. He's helped Aziraphale with every other problem through the years, why not this one?"

Intermezzo by FeralTuxedo

E • 47k • human AU (musician/journalist) Music critic Aziraphale Fell is trying to break into the world of television, when he is signed to make a documentary about former-rockstar-turned-composer Anthony Crowley. It’s been eleven years since Aziraphale’s disastrous review of Crowley’s debut opera nipped his classical music career in the bud. He can only hope that Crowley will get over his admittedly justified grudge to make the TV show a success.

side note: i officially love everything feraltuxedo has ever written. their library is a slew of human AUs in all kinds of settings with varying wordcounts. they are a GIFT

Joint Honours by FeralTuxedo

E • 43k • human AU (university students) aziraphale (phd) and crowley (undergrad) live in the same student share house. they get involved before they realise crowley is a student in aziraphale's seminars. spicy drama of them trying to keep their relationship hidden + aziraphale getting his work plagarised

it's a new craze by attheborder

T • 5k • angel/demon (post armageddon) aziraphale and crowley start an advice podcast. dialogue only, with comments from listeners speculating about their relationship and potential immortality

Petrichor & Parchment by MrsNoggin

E • 33k • human AU (gardener crowley) aziraphale, a restorer of antique books, moves to a cottage in tadfield. the garden is a mess. he hires a local landscaper to sort it out. aziraphale takes his work outside and ogles.

The 21st Century, In Which They Finally Work It Out by chaya

E • 22k • angel/demon (post armageddon) crowley tries furthering their relationship after armageddon. he has to go extremely slowly so as not to spook aziraphale, but eventually they find themselves on romantic weekend getaway, in a lodge under the northern lights.

Waking Up Slow by the_moonmoth

E • 88k • human AU (lockdown roommates) aziraphale and crowley are strangers who have to quarantine together in aziraphale's cottage. exquisitely romantic mutual pining over the course of two weeks, with cosy fireplace cuddling, walking around in towel, and strip poker.

Have you told him by cyankelpie

G • 7k • angel/demon (through the ages) aziraphale can sense love, and can tell crowley is deep in it. he can only assume he's fallen for a human. again, and again, and again, and again.

The Bizarre Demons of AZ Fell & Co Antique Booksellers by WorseOmens

T • 8k • angel/demon (buzzfeed unsolved crossover) a fuckin hilarious crossover fic presented as an episode of buzzfeed unsolved, where the ghoul boys visit the bookshop and commune with crowley through a spirit box

[bengiyo]

Comfort Films Tag

Rules: List 7 of your comfort movies, then tag 7 people.

Tagged by @callipigio

1 - Shelter (2007)

I often joke around here about how I’ve been watching queer cinema for over half of my life at this point, and it’s easy to recommend this film. This is a coming of age film about a guy who gave up art school to become the primary breadwinner and caregiver for his family. However, when the older brother of his best friend returns to their town to collect himself, our artist and he reconnect and find something special between them. Great use of a young actor in this shores up the caregiving aspects.

I’m probably going to rewatch it now. Because it was produced by Here! TV, you can only legally watch it via a subscription to their platform. I own it on DVD because I fell in love with it and knew I needed to keep it forever.

2 - Big Eden (2000)

Big Eden. Oh, Big Eden. This is the film equivalent of a warm blanket and a tight hug. It’s about an artist named Henry Hart, who is preparing for a big exhibition in New York when he’s called back home to Montana because his uncle has had a stroke. We are greatest with the most queer-friendly town to ever exist as Henry manages his old angst about his straight best friend as the local general store owner also secretly pursues him. It’s absolutely lovely.

3 - The Blues Brothers (1980)

Luna has great taste, because this is one of the best films ever made. What was originally just an SNL bit turns into a fun road film about getting the band back together so that two brothers can raise enough money to pay the back taxes owed by the orphanage they grew up in. We also run over Illinois nazis in this movie and demolish dozens of cop cars. Cab Calloway, James Brown, Carrie Fisher, Chaka Khan, Paul Reubens, and Aretha Franklin are in it. John Candy orders orange whips. This is the kind of film I would watch with my dad any time it was on.

4 - Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)

This is one of the most man movies ever made. I don’t know any woman who wants to sit down and watch this film, but me and boys will spend an entire afternoon on this film in a heartbeat. The sexual tension between Russell Crowe’s and Paul Bettany’s characters goes unremarked on this website in a way that lets you know for sure this hellsite is dominated by femmes, because those two have definitely fucked. At least twice. It’s 1805 and oceans have become battlefields!

5 - Clue (1985)

A movie based on the board game of the same name should not have been this good, but it instead goes on to become a camp masterpiece. Many people will end up remembering Tim Curry for Rocky Horror or even Muppet Treasure Island, but this is still one of his favorite performances for me. This film is batshit and I love it. 

6 - Camp (2003)

Speaking of camp films, let’s talk about one of the best of all time. I know we often talk about the bad singing in Thai BL, but I unironically love all of the musical theater in this film. I regularly listen to this soundtrack, and have been for over 15 years. It’s a film about a bunch of weird theater kids who get to escape the bullying and hellishness of their lives for a few weeks during the summer, where they get to put on a bunch of classic plays. It’s so camp. I love this film because it was difficult for me to find queer films that had happy components with them, and this little movie has a wide array of queer kids in it.

7 - Make The Yuletide Gay (2009)

This was the first queer film I ever watched that had a happy ending that was also a comedy. Prior to this, I think I had watched Beautiful Thing (1996), Edge of Seventeen (1998), Get Real (1998), and Bent (1997). Most of those films ended resolved or sad. Yuletide is a silly little gay film of almost nonstop innuendo about a guy who goes back into the closet when he returns home for Christmas, but hijinks ensue when his boyfriend shows up unexpectedly. It’s an annual watch for me around the holidays, and I usually host people for it. 

Also, Adamo Ruggiero is in it! He played Marco on Degrassi: The Next Generation.

This was fun! I think most folks have been tagged that I know, but I’ll tag @warningtothecurious​. If anyone else does this, please tag me back if you do this! I want to know what films you all return to.

[imlivinginyourtrashcan]

Hi hey hello halloween was 2 days ago so here are my southpark halloween headcanons cuz im a spooky gremlin all year (Possible part 1 cuz i write alot and idk if tumblr has a word limit)👍

Cartman:

His costume is either really extra or really basic because he forgot until last minute.

Its usually inflateable like a dinosaur, pizza or...other things.

Usually the one to pick the route they go on when trick or treating so he can get the most candy, but it backfires because of all the walking.

The type of mf to eat his candy while hes out trick or treating (me too, i get it)

He steals the entire take 1 bowl you cant change my mind. Also the type to grab aggressive fistfuls when someone says to just take one or two pieces of candy

Thinks haybales and haunted houses are gay

Will throw fake decorations at you as a joke, but the realistic ones that make you yell (severed hands, bugs, etc)

His house isnt that decorated since i KNOW Liane is the cool mom who gives out full sized candy bars but its the inside that counts

Takes pumpkin carving VERY seriously. But doesnt do that much, or he tries and gives up.

A dumbass when it comes to candy trading. Always falls for the tricks Kyles got

Kyle:

I love kyle, but you know hes dressing up as the most basic things every year...hes TRYING THO HES TRYING

Takes Ike with the boys when hes old enough

Tries to match costumes with Stan but stan always forgets

The BEST at carving pumpkins. Gut feeling Kyle is an art kid.

Thinks haybales are gay but is "ironically" scared of haunted houses

His mom is extra with decorations. You just know it

Secretly takes 3 pieces of candy from a take 1 bowl

Gives what he cant have to Stan since he cant eat pork n gelatin has pork in it 👍

Cartman tried nabbing his candy once and he whacked him with the candy filled pillow case he had

Expert candy tracker. That man knows which house has what and he is ON IT

Nightmare before christmas enjoyer, will i explain? No

Stan:

Hes like Kyle with the basic costume thing, just worse. Way worse

He is a ghost...almost every single year cuz he forgets to go costume shopping and he just says "fuck it" and uses a white bedsheet

Takes what he can get; he knows Shelleys gonna steal his shit anyway

That doesnt stop him from trying to hide it

Likes haybales but TERRIFIED of haunted houses he will NOT get in one

Mediocre pumpkin carver at best

His house aint decorated nor does it have candy cuz of randys ass. Forgetful ahh

Kenny:

Cant really afford costumes so stan, kyle and cartman help him DIY costumes

Also the kind of mf to grab the entire take 1 bowl

Makes it his MISSION to get all the candy he can get

Kinda eh on Haybsles, LOVES haunted houses

His house is never decorated, his family cant afford that

Good at candy trading cuz he can do puppy eyes

Really good at pumpkin carving, he just cant be the one getting the pumpkins.

Horror movie FANATIC!!! HE LOVES HORROR MOVIES!!!

He dies a lot that day very sad for him

Butters:

Rarely aloud to go out trick or treating, mans is ALWAYS grounded

When he CAN go out he cant ever stay out late which sucks so much

His costume is always something cute/creative, bro would probably go as like, an oc of his one year (projecting so hard i did this in the 4th or 5th grade)

Gets people to check his candy for him, hes scared of getting hurt or poisoned

Wants to go to the houses that have fruit or toothbrushes. It always goes like:

"Can we go to Ms Firkles house?" "The one that gives out apples?" "Yeah!" "Fuck is wrong with you?"

Loves Haybales, thinks theyre so fun

TERRIFIED of haunted houses, will not even STAND in a 100 ft radius of a haunted house

Flinches/Cries/Screams whenever a halloween decoration jumpscares him or is too loud

Horrified of horror moves

Not allowed to carve pumpkins, too dangerous. But he likes painting them!

Obeys the "take 1/2/3" rule like a good boy

His house is decently decorated, nothing extravagant

Craig:

Oh you know he is a "this is my costume" mf

Either that or something space related

Always the first in front in his group (Tweek, Tolkien, Clyde, Jimmy and Himself) cuz hes pretty unphased by everything

Loves carving pumpkins, him and tweek do the cute pumpkin carving stuff couples do

Cant eat most of the candy since he has braces, but he gives it to Tweek so its not a waste

Will hold Tweeks hand during horror movies, haunted houses and haybales.

A six flags fright fest enjoyer

This mf will look you dead in the eye and pour an entire bowl of candy into his bag if there arent any cameras or signs

The kind of mf to joke inside a ghost tour and purposefully try to piss off the ghost by flipping it off

The most undecorated house ever. Its like halloween doesnt exist to the Tuckers

Tweek:

He buys cool costumes but his makeup is so shaky and rushed since his ass cant sit still

Chugging pumpkin spice like a maniac

Terrified of any and all halloween activities. Jumpscare him and he will scream

Doesnt take candy from people or bowls, he stands awkwardly behind everyone and investigates his candy thoroughly before putting it in the bag

Either that or he'll have craig triple check it

His house is always decorated since Tweek Bros always has halloween specials and stuff

Does not sleep for the entire month of halloween, he survives on pumpkin spice and pure anxiety

Helps around the coffee shop by refilling candy bowls and doing halloween chalkboards (they look like scribbled messes but whatever)

The middle man in the group, he doesnt feel safe in the front or back

Carries Pepper spray with him when trick or treating, always very cautious to the point his friends grill him for it a little. Better safe than sorry

Clinging onto Craig half the night, the insomnias getting to him

Legally not aloud to carve pumpkins. He will accidentally knick his fingers

Loves halloween baking though, he does burn at least something and panics.

Clyde:

Oh you know hes the kind of mf to dress up like the glow in the dark stickman

Grabs aggressive handfuls of candy regardless of if its from a bowl or person

An absolute crybaby. Will cry when he sees the decorations

They cant decorate his house since hes a baby

Likes the pumpkin carving tho!

Always runs to thr house with full sized candy bars

Jimmy:

He is def going as an inflateable t rex/banana

Tells more jokes to people in hopes of getting more candy

Carves a wee wee into his pumpkin. He thinks its funny

Pretends to be scared on haybales to make Clyde feel better

His house is the one with custom decorations its so great

Scary movie enthusiast, joking and calling the characters dumb the whole time

He. Fucking. Loves. Frightfest

Hc that when hes older hes a scare actor part time

Admires the decorations

Tolkien

Bro probably got like, a ren faire costume yk? Like a count or something

Tolkien just seems likke the guy to go to ren faire every year

Expert pumpkin carver

Takess his friends to halloween fairs every year

The most overdecorated house (rich kid core)

Always saying the thank yous and happy halloweens when noone else will

Bro printed out a map of their trick or treat route

He takes some of his friends to ren faire too. Craig thinks its gay as shit

Likes the haybales, and the shit rides at the halloween fairs

Creeped out by haunted houses tho

[worstqueerbaittournament]

Submission messagefor Merlin and Arthur: merthur (merlin and Arthur from the BBC show merlin

Submission message for Steve and Bucky: Does Stucky count? Steve and Bucky from Captain America

Additional propaganda: I refuse to shut up about this. Merlin is not queerbait!! At no point during the show is there a genuine possibility of Arthur and Merlin to be in a romantic relationship. They are queer coded but they do not create a false impression of their relationship. See Sherlock for good example: they constantly bring it up in the show itself and dangle it in front of the viewers, only to not follow through. The show Merlin does not set them up. There are no offhanded remarks, comments, or jokes that they’re more than friends. There is simply no chance in the show that they will get together. They are queer coded, which is not the same. Coding says: this character displays some traits and characteristics that ___ people may relate to. Baiting says: oh you want these two together? hmm, you wanna see that? wouldn’t that be nifty? what if they talk about it and act like it? aren’t you gonna keep watching to find out if they really do? Then follows up with: SIKE! Wow we got you, of course they’re not together! All of that was meaningless! Let’s please stop confusing these two entirely separate concepts!

Merthur is just gay I don’t have to explain merthur on the merthur site. They’re talking to each other at night and giving each other flowers and shit— things Arthur NEVER does with his canon romantic love interest and if I’m not mistaken I think Arthur like goes to sleep for a hundred years and Merlin is like. Still waiting for him? Let them kiss, damn!

Stucky: "Of course, this is still a rollicking adventure tale and no adventure is complete without a love story.....the longest, most tortured one in Marvel history" - Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely (writers of Captain America movies + Avengers Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame)

"from the meet cute to the tragic separation, their bond has all the elements of a classic romance." - Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely

"Just as Jeph and Tim’’s earlier Daredevil: Yellow, Spider-Man: Blue, and Hulk: Gray all dealt with the major love interests in, the heroes’ lives, so too does Captain America: White. Steve and Bucky are each other’s soulmate." - Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely

“So you have a character in Captain America who is searching for the only thing that he has left from his past that has any meaning to him, and that’s Bucky; and people have interpreted that relationship all kinds of ways and it’s great...we will never define it, as filmmakers, explicitly." - The Russos (Captain America: Civil War press)

"You mean, aside from Cap and Bucky?" - Anthony Russo (co-director of Cap 2 and 3 and Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame) when asked about romance in Captain Amierca: Civil War

"Moderator: But you already had a romantic B story with Cap and Bucky, right?

Anthony: We sure do

Joe: We still do

Moderator: Did you ever had to dial down the sexual tension on set?

Joe: Why would we?" - Anthony and Joe Russo (directors of Cap 2 and 3 and Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame) at a screening of Captain America: Civil War

Just a few examples directly from Marvel and the writers and directors.

merthur totally should win for so many reasons but mostly. most because the show writer, when advertising the last episode, said it was “a love story between two men” and then arthur just died in merlin’s arms for 42 minutes. on the day before christmas.

I put the first episode of Merlin, because I heard it was such a great show. I knew nothing about the ship at that point. I only put it on because i love shows like that. Before the first episode was over I was like OMG those two are gayer than later seasons Destiel. There is no way it was not intentional. NONE. Big time homoerotic vibes. It was great

I get the coding critique, but I think I disagree with the person who said they never teased a relationship with Merthur. If we’re talking “offhanded jokes that they’re more than friends” (or that other characters thought they were together a la Sherlock), I think the poetry and pants scenes fit that.

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Christmas surprise (Christen Press x Reader)

Merry Christmas! I've been really tired recently so I'm a little behind on requests, I hope to get some more finished in the next couple of days. Christmas is tomorrow and I'm working so I wrote this really quickly. Hope you enjoy.

Words: 2.3K

Y/m/n- Your mums name, Y/d/n- Your dads name. 

"Please just stay with me tonight, I promise I'll tell everyone after Christmas."

Christen sighed, taking a step back, "You don't have to tell everyone Y/n, I just want our families to know."

"We can tell them after tomorrow okay? I promise. All I want is to wake up next to you tomorrow."

"Can you at least tell me why you want to wait until after Christmas?"

We had been keeping our relationship a secret for the past 2 years, there were only a select few people that knew. It started out with wanting to establish our relationship in private then moved to liking the privateness of it. Christen had been wanting to tell people for a while now, but I had been putting it off. It wasn't that I necessarily wanted to keep it a secret or wasn't ready for people to know, I was just a very private person and struggled with people knowing my business. Christen had been understanding up until recently, she was at the point where she didn't want to hide it anymore. We had been together for 2 years, it was my turn to be understanding now. 

The truth was that our families already knew about us, but Christen didn't know that. In the past she had talked about having a joined family Christmas so this year I had decided to surprise her. That meant telling both our families to get them to agree. 

I had told Christen that my family was coming over tomorrow afternoon so she wouldn't get suspicious when I started preparing lunch. The only issue so far was trying to convince her to stay. She was a bit upset that my family was coming, but she wasn't going to be able to meet them. 

"It's just, my parents don't know I'm gay, I'm sure they'll be okay with it, but just incase they're not, I want one last Christmas where things are normal." It was partly true, I had never explicitly told my parents I was gay or introduced them to any of my past partners, but it was obvious they always had a feeling. My family had barely reacted when I told them about Christen. They were just happy that I was happy. 

Christen smiled softly before kissing me, "Okay, we can wait until after Christmas. From what you've told me, your parents will be okay with it."

It wasn't a complete lie, while my reluctance was mostly my privateness. I had been slightly scared to tell them. Either way, I hated lying to her and it wasn't easy. Christen and I were always honest with each other no matter what, "They probably will, but it scares me anyway. Will you stay?"

"Of course I will. Can we watch Christmas movies?"

We spent the night watching Christmas movies and drinking hot chocolate. I loved nights like this. Nights where it was just us, in sweatpants and cuddled up on the couch. Or nights where we would cook dinner and just talk about anything and everything. With her I was relaxed, I was able to be completely myself without fear of judgment. I had flaws, I was stubborn, had a hard time opening up, but Christen loved me regardless. I couldn't wait to come home to her everyday, cook dinner, to fall asleep and wake up next to her. Hopefully that would become a reality after tomorrow. 

---

Normally, Christen always woke up before me, but I was excited which meant sleep didn't come easy. I killed time by watching her sleep, she looked so peaceful and incredibly beautiful even with messy hair and no make up on. I think it was one of my favourite versions of her. Christen stirred slightly before burying her face further into the crook of my neck. It was the sign that she was waking up. I traced patterns on her bare back, placing a kiss on her temple. 

"Merry Christmas my love."

Christen shifted to leave a lingering kiss on my lips, "Merry Christmas baby. I could get used to this."

"You wake up next to me all the time."

"Not nearly enough. You're awake early today, is everything okay?"

I kissed her again quickly, "I'm excited, it's Christmas."

Christen rolled on top of me, smile stretched across her face, "You're cute, I can't wait to spend Christmas with you next year."

"Neither can I Chris. I'm sorry it can't happen this year."

We were cuddled on the couch, coffee in hand as we just enjoyed the peacefulness. I reached down feeling for the little box that I had hidden next to the couch, "I have something for you."

"Don't be, it sucks, but I understand it." Instead of saying anything, I connected our lips, enjoying the way our lips felt together. Shivering slightly when her tongue ran across my bottom lip then connected with mine. Quiet moans slipped from us both, tangling together as our bodies followed suit. It was soft and slow. There was no rush, just the two of us, showing the love we held for each other. 

Christen slowly opened the box to reveal a key. She looked at me confused, taking out the key to look at it, "I already have a key to your apartment."

"It's the key to my heart," I replied as seriously as possible, but the little giggle Christen let out made me burst out laughing. "You had that a long time ago. This is the new key, remember I had to get my locks changed? This one comes with a question though."

"I'm still not sure I understand."

I rolled my eyes playfully, "Look in the box again."

Christen pulled out the piece of paper, reading it quickly.

Christen,

You know how they say home isn't a place it's a person? Well, it's true. You feel like home, with you is the place that I feel the safest and warmest. My apartment feels empty when you're not here, I find myself counting down the minutes until you are back here with me. I want to fall asleep and wake up with you next to me every day. I want to do mundane tasks with you like grocery shopping, chores, cooking or lazy days pottering around the house. These things can be done anywhere, I don't care where we live because no matter where it is, it will be home as long as you're with me. Will you move in with me?

 Arms wrapped around me tightly, "Yes, of course I will."

"I need to start the rest of the food." The turkey was already in the oven, but there was still a lot to do. 

---

"I should probably head off, go help my dad set up."

"You don't have to leave yet, your family is doing dinner and my parents aren't coming for another couple of hours."

"Is this your way of asking for my help?"

"Maybe."

Christen rolled her eyes playfully, but started helping me sort out the vegetables. Quiet Christmas music played in the background as we laughed and joked around while we prepared. I could get used to this. I was starting on dessert when flour hit the side of my head. I turned slowly to find Christen standing next to me, an innocent smile present, "You're going to pay for that."

I scooped up some flour of my own, tossing it at her. It went back and forth for a little while until I wrapped my arms around her, making her squeal as I trapped her against the counter. Finger dipping into the batter and smearing it over her face and mouth before connecting our lips, "Delicious."

There was a knock on the door and Christen looked at me panicked, flour sticking to her hair and face. I kissed her forehead, wiping some of the flour off both of us. She went to say something, but I quickly jumped in, "Don't worry, come on."

"Bu-"

"Merry Christmas Chris," I said as I opened the door to reveal my parents and Christens dad standing there. The siblings were coming later. Christen looked shocked, looking between us.

"W-what?"

"Surprise."

"They know?"

"They've known for a little while."

"What?"

"I wanted to surprise you, that meant I had to tell them."

Christen hugged me, kissing my cheek, "God I love you. Thank you Y/n"

Christens dad, Cody motioned to us, "What happened here?"

Arms wrapped around my waist as I was finishing off the last dish. Soft lips pressed against the exposed skin on my shoulder. I let out a sigh, relaxing back into her, "Do you need any help?"

"Chris decided to throw flour at me so of course I retaliated. Cody, these are my parents, Y/m/n and Y/d/n. This is Cody, Christens dad and of course this is my girlfriend Christen."

They fell into easy conversation as I went back into the kitchen to clean up the flour and finish the food. My parents were talking to Christen and Cody as if they had known each other for years. It made my heart flutter to see them all getting along. I knew Christen was it for me, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her so having them get along with the other most important people in my life was like a weight off my shoulders. Another hour went by, my brother, and Christens sisters had arrived. The house was full of laughter and conversation. Everything Christmas should be. 

"I'm okay love, this is the last thing to do. You could set the table?"

Christen kissed my shoulder, then neck, cheek and lastly my lips before pulling away to set the table. Channing and Tyler stood on either side of me as I watched Christen. It took me a second to register they were there, too preoccupied with watching the small smile on Christens face or the way she couldn't go more then 5 seconds without looking up at me, her face filling with concern when she saw me with her sisters, but quickly changed back when I sent her a small smile. Even after 2 years together, she still made butterflies erupt in my stomach with a single look, I felt giddy and like a teenager again when I was around her. 

"I don't think I've ever seen her this happy," Tyler stated quietly, Channing nodded in agreement, "Keep her that way and we won't have a problem."

"Trust me, I have every intention of it. There's nothing more important to me then her happiness."

"Good, can we help you take these to the table?"

Once everything was set up, we all sat around the table, conversation still flowing. I squeezed Christens hand under the table. She looked at me with a small smile before turning back to my mum who had started asking her a question. 

"So Christen, how did you meet my daughter?"

"Um we play for the same team."

My brother snorted, making me glare at him, something stupid was about to come out of his mouth, "I'd hope so since you're dating."

I reached across to whack the side of his head, almost instantly being scolded by my mum, "You are so annoying."

"Anyway, I hear Y/n managed to convince you to move in with her. Are you guys going to be staying here?"

I shrugged, glancing at Christen before responding, "Um, I'm not sure. We haven't really talked about it yet."

"I think we will, I spend most of my time here already, at least half of my clothes are here so it's easiest."

We stared at each other until the clearing of a throat made us snap out of it. She said it so easily, like it wasn't a big decision, like it was the easiest thing in the world. To me it was, I didn't care where we lived as long as I was with her. I loved her more then I ever thought possible. My brother joked some more about how gross we were, of course being scolded by my mum. It was one of the best Christmases I've had in a long time.

---

Everyone had left a little while ago, we had done a quick tidy up, but decided to just leave the rest and go to bed. I was already in bed, while Christen sat on the edge, removing her rings and earrings.  

"Thank you for today Y/n, it was amazing. I can't believe you did that for me."

"I would do anything for you Chris. I'm sorry I had to lie to you though."

Christen kissed me, a small smile present. Anyone would think the smile was genuine, but I knew Christen like the back of my hand. It was obviously fake, "Normally, I would be upset about it, but this time I'll give you a pass."

She looked down, playing with my fingers as a quiet sigh left her lips. That's when I knew for sure that something was wrong, "Are you okay love?"

"It's nothing, I'm just tired."

My hand squeezed hers, pulling her into my side, lips landing on her temple, "Don't do that, you don't have to pretend to be okay with me Chris."

"It's days like this where I really miss my mum. I just wish she was here, I wish she could have met you, I think she would have loved you."

"I'm sorry Chris. I know you miss her, but she's always with you in everything you do, well most things anyway," I winked, causing a small, but genuine laugh from her, "Seriously though, I would have loved to meet your mum, from what you've told me she was amazing and if you're anything to go by then I believe it."

"You don't need to flatter me Y/n, I've already agreed to move in with your messy ass."

"Just because we're together doesn't mean I'll ever stop making you feel special, because you are Chris. You are the most amazing person in my life, you light up my life in a way no one ever has, in a way no one else ever will."

"I love you Y/n, today meant a lot."

My hand slipped under her shirt as I pulled her further on top of me. Our lips connected in one of many soft yet oh so sweet kisses we had shared today. If there was only one thing I could do for the rest of my life and never get tired of, it would be kissing Christen. 

"I love you more."

[kernyen-xo]

Look at those colors! I love fall, my favorite time of the year with winter on its heels.

I’ll be prepping my patio for the upcoming winter soon. I’ve already removed the cushions. The least fun part will be the ceremony of the leaves aka raking the leaves. I know that this piece of information is something you will cherish - you’re welcome.

Another fun fact. There’s a dim sum place within walking distance from my daughter’s place. I’m not sure if this is a good thing. I came home with pork dumplings, shrimp shumai, baked char sui bao, baked egg custard bao, and lo mai gai, which is lotus wrapped sticky rice =:p

The baked char sui bao:

Yeah, I think so too - I may be in trouble. First, See’s Candies and now Dim Sum 😭

I asked my daughter if she was good with having roast pork instead of a ham or turkey for Thanksgiving. Her answer: “Hell yeah!”

I don’t know what I was thinking when I scheduled my annual holiday party the weekend after Thanksgiving. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I have 12 people showing up. I must admit, though, I’m a little bit excited about the party. Last year we decorated Christmas cookies. This year, we’re going to paint rocks. I did this a few years back and it was a hit. At last years holiday party, Cuzzy requested that I do a rock painting party for my next holiday party, so here we are :)

I went with my kid to her oncologist appointment. I really like her oncologist. She’s young, motivated, driven, and super smart. Add her kind and compassionate spirit to the mix, and she’s quite amazing. The kid admires her and is grateful that she’s her doctor. The kid’s treatment will consist of regular check-ups and digital monitoring for 2-3 years. She’s healing well and has been released to return to work.

The kid was strong man for Halloween. I love this.

I have a plan for Red Cup Day. Getting up at the butt crack of dawn. They run out fast.

I just watched a cheesy movie on Netflix. Blade of the 47 Ronin. Thank goodness my tolerance for cheesy movies is relatively high today.

I’ll leave you with this:

The upcoming work week is only 4 days! We get Friday off, yeah!

Ta-toodles!

[aramisphased]

things i thought were normal that were, in fact, sapphic coded

dreaming of hermione granger for months on end after seeing a 10-minute clip of harry potter

to only watch the women during affectionate / inappropriate scenes in television (and not understanding why i was getting aroused imagining i was him)

when people began dating in online games (webkinz, movie star planet, fantage) and when i tried to find a boyfriend, i felt like i was doing something “wrong” and leading him on.. so i ended it in 10 minutes and never tried again

being “boy crazy” about the jonas brothers and chOOSING KEVIN?

AGE 6.. AND CHOSE KEVIN? IF YOU DONT GET THIS, LOOK UP “KEVIN JONAS LESBIAN”.

becoming extremely moved by any tv show episodes about accepting someone for who they truly are or loving them regardless

chopped my hair to a bob at age 4 when my mom refused to let me & keeping it short for 14 years

was overly obsessed with mulan to a point of concern. watched mulan multiple times a day for a year and a half straight. started an ifunny fan account dedicated to mulan. where i posted. hourly.

my childhood boy “crush” was troy bolton from HSM, so naturally my parents bought me the barbie version of the couple for christmas— my parents found my troy doll outside in a bush while my gabriella was “going to bed” with a supermodel barbie for the night 2 weeks later

hating physical touch yet always waking up to me cuddling so intimately with a friend (who ALSO went on to be sapphic— shocking!)

feeling EXTREMELY moved & defensive of freddie mercury & elton john ??? at age 8 ??? literally wrote essays for no reason about their impact socially??? (tHE CLOSET IS GLASS)

my sisters telling me i’m the sibling that’s “more likely to marry someone.. different than tradition” and my reaction was to argue with them for 4 YEARS following on what they meant by that.

LITERALLY HAVING DREAMS ABOUT KISSING WOMEN STARTING AT AGE 5, EVEN THOUGH I HAD NO IDEA WHAT BEING GAY OR LESBIAN WAS

my favorite tropes in books being ‘forbidden love’ or ‘secret’ … then refusing to read if it wasn’t one of the two..

never dated in elementary or middle school because the feeling of “butterflies in my stomach” made me physically ill until i threw up, but feeling my blood rush to my face any time my best friend hugged me or we got alone time

i only made this after talking to a friend about our signs as a child LOL

now, i am the walking personification of bisexual woman who still questions their sexuality annually (yes, it is that time of year rn.)

[ihatethis1234]

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ 𝐺𝑒𝑡 𝑇𝑜 𝐾𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑀𝑒♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

You can call me kai, vex or vexian, Kurt my pronouns are he/him, I'm a trans gay guy, my favorite song is in-a-gadda-da-vida by Iron Butterfly my favorite animal is a raccoons I'm a fan of ghost, rammenstien, queen, pink Floyd, the beatles, rob Zombie, alice cooper, misfits, bon jovi, mindless self indulgence, insane clown posse, and system of a down.

My favorite movies include, black christmas, Halloween, friday the 13th, house of a thousand corpses, scream, the boy, and Texas chainsaw massacre 1 and 2.

I am local to the Ohio area so my time zone is est/ eastern Standard time.

My favorite characters are choptop Sawyer, Bubba Sawyer, nubbins sawyer, micheal myers, Jason Voorhees, Billy lenz, Billy Loomis, and brahms heelshire.

My Spotify is 𝓥𝓮𝔁𝓲𝓪𝓷 you can copy it and search it in Spotify

I'm a Satanist

I am learning to speak german

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ 𝑀𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝐿𝑖𝑠𝑡♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

~{Charaters}~

Alejandro -Cod

Argyle - Stranger Things

Billy Hargrove -Stranger Things

Billy Lenz -Black Christmas

Billy Loomis -Scream

Bo Sinclair - house of wax

Brahms Heelshire -The Boy

Bubba sawyer-Texas chainsaw massacre

Captain Spaulding-House Of A Thousand Corpses

ChopTop Sawyer-Texas chainsaw massacre 2

Corey Cunningham-Halloween Ends

Drayton Sawyer -Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Eddie Munson - Stranger Things

Gaz -Cod

Geralt - The Witcher

Ghost - Cod

Harry Warden - My Bloody Valentine

Jack in the box mascot - it obvious where he's from.

Jareth The Goblin King - Labyrinth

Jason Voorhees -Friday The 13Th

Jhon Price -Cod

könig -Cod

Lester -house of wax

Micheal Myers -Halloween

Nubbins Sawyer -Texas Chainsaw

Massacre

Otis Driftwood -House Of A Thousand Corpses

Secoundo - Ghost

Steve Harrington - Stranger Things

Thomas Hewitt -Texas Chainsaw

Massacre The Beginning

Vincent Sinclair - house of wax

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ 𝑅𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝐺𝑢𝑖𝑑𝑒♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

. Smut

. Fluff

. Angst

. Comfort

. Horror

{Smut dos}

. The characters on the list above

. Slow build

. Porn with plot

. Sub reader

. Survice Sub reader

. Male reader

. Cis male reader

. Trans male reader (ftm)

{Kinks i absolutely write for}

. Blood kinks

. BDSM

. Bondage

. Choking

. Overstim

. Edging

. Anything rough (minus rape)

. Body worship

. Sex to music (idk what it's called)

. Foreplay

. Knife play (non traumatic)

. Gun play (non traumatic)

. Size kink

. Masochic

. Sadistic

. Crying (non forced way)

. Mutual masturbation

. Soft sex

. Soft Dom characters allowed

. After care

. No after cares allowed to

. NSFW ABCs

. Headcanons

{Smut mabeys}

. Forced (as long as content I'd giving at some point)

. Stalking

(unless it's a slasher that does that)

{Smut donts}

. Piss kinks

. Fences kinks

. Feet kinks

. Pedophila

. pro ships

. Charater x character

. Necrophilia

. Death kinks

. Gun play (traumatic)

. Knife play (traumatic)

. Female reader

. Dom reader

. Asking me to write with a character that isn't on the list (goes for all) unless I reply say I will once I watch the series.

. Rape

. Pet play (it makes me uncomfy)

(You can ask me if I will write for a character tho if it's not on the list)

{Fluff/ comfort dos}

. Mental break down comfort

. Cuddling

. Dysphoria comfort

. Motivational

. Nightmare comfort

. After care fic

. Soft head cannons

{Angst dos}

. Readers death (reaction)

. Character death

. Injured

. Fainted

. Arguments

(That's all I can think of rn)

{Horror fics dos}

. Slasher character

. Yandere

. Murder

. Gore

. Kidnapping

. Death

. Killer reader

. Taunting

. Stalking

. 16-30 year old reader (if the reader is 16 there will probably not be smut unless it's like stu or somthing)

. Killer couple

. Ghost reader

I will writer for NonBinary reader 𝑏𝑢𝑡 it may take longer if requested.

Under no circumstances will a write for a female reader I will write ftm but not female

Also all female allied that have a fetish for gay relationships or reader yaoi may NOT  interact with my posts you will be blocked.

Also

DO NOT ASK ME TO WRITE SMUT FOR MINORS!!

-Vexian❤️‍🔥

(Will add new characters as I watch more movies and shows)

[bobawitch]

Nightmare Before Christmas | N.S.

a/n: late for halloween but yeah. happy halloween.

cw: just a lot of fluff

summary: nick's boyfriend finds out that the triplets haven't seen Nightmare Before Christmas and makes Nick watch.

wc: 876

“I’m sorry you mean you’ve actually never seen Nightmare Before Christmas. Not once in your 20 years of life?” Nick shook his head, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “It’s not just me! Chris and Matt haven’t either!” You shook her head putting a hand up. You could not accept that your boyfriend had not seen this movie and yet loved other Tim Burton movies. “Well good thing they’re straight and not dating me because they’re off the hook. You on the other hand are not mister.” Nick couldn’t help but smile, he just loved when you got in these passionate fits and he wouldn’t conceal that fact. Nick shrugged, crossing his legs on the bed as he stared at you. You on the other hand were sitting criss-cross with your phone open to a paused tik tok from the triplet’s halloween podcast. Your jaw was just about on the floor as you stared blankly at your boyfriend. 

You had met Nick at a Melanie Martinez concert, you didn’t actually know anything about his famous status until you got his insta that night. Though that never really bothered you, which Nick consistently told you he appreciated. After a few months of light flirting and hanging out all the time the two of you started dating. It was a long conversation for both of you since you weren’t out to some of your family which meant you didn’t want to show up on the triplet’s social media as anything but a friend. Nick was incredibly supportive of your boundaries which made you immediately feel safer in the relationship. After about 2 months of dating you finally came out to your family in full. Though some relatives weren’t pleased that their precious son was gay they all slowly learned to accept you. Those who were really against it got blocked but Nick made sure to make you feel loved and accepted whenever you were with him. Now the two of you had been together for nearly 6 months. The fans knew something was up between the two of you but neither of you had confirmed anything. But you did start making more frequent appearances on the channel. 

But on that night you had been scrolling through tik tok and found a clip of Nick saying he had never seen Nightmare Before Christmas which shook you to your core. I mean, it’s only one of the best Halloween movies to watch with a partner. With this in mind you stopped the soft cuddling the two of you had engaged in and interrogated your unsuspecting boyfriend. You had gone on a rant about how he needed to see the movie immediately so that then the two of you could show it to Chris and Matt. You had never managed to grab his TV remote that quickly before. You sped to pull the movie up onto the screen before hopping off the bed and turning off the lights. You grabbed one of your million Let’s Trip hoodies and dragged it over your head and onto your torso before settling next to Nick. You put your arm around him and he smiled at you, leaning his head onto your shoulder. You smiled back, pressing play on the iconic movie and relaxing. Nick slowly let himself lay on your chest, his arms wrapped tight around your waist. You reciprocate the gesture by wrapping your arms around his shoulders. His blue eyes looked up to you as the beginning of the movie played. You smiled down before leaning and pressing your lips to his. Nick greeted your lips with a gentle smile, kissing back in a soft and loving way. As the music faded into the first song of the movie you broke the kiss. You smiled at Nick and kissed the top of his head as you felt him shift to watch the movie.  As the movie continued you noticed Nick getting excited at any small thing. You giggled as he nodded his head to the musical numbers. Somehow though you both sat completely silent for the entirety of the film. Once the credits rolled Nick sat up, rubbing his eyes from the build up of sleepiness you get from movies. “So what did you think of it baby?” Nick smiled at your words, looking at you with those soft skyline eyes of his. “I liked it a lot. I’m kind of embarrassed it took me this long to watch it. We need to show Matt and Chris this the next time we get a chance for suuure.” 

And to your word you showed the movie to Matt and Chris, Nick sang along to the majority of it and you enjoyed watching all 3 of the brother’s reactions to one of your all time favorites. Once the movie was done Matt and Chris walked back to their respective rooms to do their respective things before you turned to Nick who was smiling at you widely. You moved over to him, enveloping him in a big hug. He moved to make eye contact with you before kissing your cheek. “Awe what was that for?” You questioned. “Just cause.” “Awe well in that case.” Then you pressed your lips to his.

[walkingcontradiction42]

Got tagged by the wonderful @kenobismullet. Thank you so much <3

1. Are you named after anyone?

Legal name no. Otherwise that gay scientist from pacific rim lol.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Um shortly before Christmas I think. Gender dysphoria is a bitch.

3. Do you have kids?

No

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

Oh a lot. I used to do swimming, football, then equestrian vaulting when I was older for quite some time. Then badminton for several years. Now I just do jogging.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Hair (need to judge if someone is queer)

7. What's your eye color?

Blue

8. Scary Movies or Happy Endings?

Happy endings, because I am a mentally instable person

9. Any talents?

Um I can write decently?

10. Where were you born?

Arguably the ugliest city in Germany

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing, listening to music, playing music, concerts/festivals and quite a lot of watching movies and stuff in between

12. Do you have any pets?

Yes. I have two budgies. Prettiest guys alive.

13. How tall are you?

Not tall enough

14. Favourite subject in school?

Physics and Math

15. Dream job?

It would be great now if I said the thing I study right? Hahaha…. But yeah, um, something creative I think? Writing or filmmaking or theatre or something.

No pressure tags: @crave-mp3 @swallow-wind @faggotwalkwithme @x-ladydisdain-x

[turtletoria]

not to clog up your askbox with south park bs but as someone with an sp friend the show itself is kinda insane like there's episodes with antisemitism and all kinds of shit ass takes but at the same time there's disabled characters which are treated well and gay couples who are really good rep and generally sensible takes about racism? mixed in with fatphobia and plenty of other bullshit no less, ig the few good bits is what makes ppl keep watching it

no worries i love complaining ^_^ also apologies for the length, but this is a very fascinating phenomenon because of how notorious sp is ?? yet it is being fandomized like literally any other blorbo show... it's like if people started legitimately blorbo posting about family guy or american dad or something of the same vein

anyways i got super interested in this topic and read a couple articles, but i like this one the most:

essentially, yeah, i can see what youre saying about the "good bits" but the biggest problem, as referenced in the above article, with this show is that 1) it's a super long-running old and influential show, and 2) satirizing or making fun of "all sides" or equating opposing political stances as if they're on the same playing field is disingenuous and dangerous to marginalized communities.

despite positive portrayals, this show is so blatantly an "equal-opportunity offender" that i honestly dont see that as a saving grace for this show, but more so why it's so problematic - this show is not focused on creating faithful or just representations of disabled people, LGBT+ people, or people of color. it feels more like these representations are there as a way to maintain the centrist ethos of the show, a no-sides taken approach. But this inclusion of marginalized people can only be shallow and disingenuous at best if the same show normalizes bigotry against those same groups.

I especially wanted to highlight this bit in the article:

"The truth is that no one seems to have really made much effort to censor South Park in quite some time. They are no longer the outsiders fighting back against the establishment: They are the establishment, two of the world's richest comedians whose signature show cost Comedy Central $192 million to renew back in 2015. But so long as they position themselves as underdogs, they risk empowering those who seek to use their invented victimhood as a smokescreen for bigotry. This is Fox News' gambit when they talk about the war on Christmas, Trump's angle when he attacks the "fake news" for criticizing him—bullies acting like victims to spark that particular, put-upon sort of outrage that ignites their base. When South Park acts like it's still the rebel throwing rocks at the establishment, rather than a platform for the grievances of two insanely rich straight white men, it's playing the same game."

and before someone goes "blah blah its just jokes why so serious (haha joker reference)" have you considered that sometimes jokes are unfunny? sometimes satire doesn't land, and for good reason. i just hope that people (especially younger people) eventually realize that.