#genuine heart attack question i almost exploded and died

[hiemaldesirae]

whichever one of you guys sent that last anon in know id love to answer your question but unfortunately it may be spoilers (or at least close to it, if i look at my current plan) so i cant, but know that it will not be pretty

[farrah-fowler]

my friends and i have problems {sleepy bois inc x reader}{dream smp au}

pairings: found family!sbi x fem!reader (she/her) word count: 2.1k warnings: cursing, violence, injury, mention of blood a/n: reader is tommy’s older sister :) there will be a part two :) GIF ISN’T MINE

“just give this up, y/n,” dream huffed as he adjusted his grip on his sword. he smirked behind his mask as he lifted it and got ready to strike. “it’s not worth it. he’s not worth it.”

he knew his words were making her angrier, his smirk deepening as her eyes slanted and her face flashed red. he got the reaction he wanted. y/n lifted herself off the ground, not bothering to wipe the dirt off of her armor. she hoisted her sword up, ready to attack whenever he was. “i’m not going to give up. i’ll get tommy back here or i’ll die trying.” 

dream felt anger rise in his chest as he took a step forward. somehow the mask he donned morphed into an expression that caused an undeniable feeling of fear in y/n’s gut. she tried to swallow her feelings but she couldn’t rid herself of the suffocating fear she felt. dream took another step forward, holding his sword closer to himself. “then i guess you’ll die trying.”

suddenly, his sword, nightmare as he named it, swung through the air. y/n saw the glint of the setting sun reflect off of it before she felt the blade of the sword hit her arm. she grunted in pain as the blade hit the one part of her arm that she neglected to cover with armor. dream laughed maniacally and used the butt of his sword to push against her chest plate, knocking y/n back to the ground. he flipped the sword in his hand and pressed the tip of it to y/n’s throat. “just. give. up.” with each word, he pressed the sword harder into y/n’s neck. she held her breath as she anticipated the trickle of blood down her neck. but it never came. instead, she heard the voices of her adoptive brother and father from down the pathway. dream took a step back as the voices neared before he enderpearled away, leaving y/n alone in the middle of the field. 

“y/n?” ghostbur’s voice piped up as him and philza turned the corner. he smiled brightly at her, basically skipping over to where she sat in the field. “hi y/n! phil and i were just headed over to techno’s house to visit him! oh- oh my, you have jam all over your face and arms. here, have some blue, calm yourself.”

at the mention of jam, phil turned his attention from the spot dream previously stood in to face his adoptive daughter. his expression twisted into one of worry as he saw all of the cuts and bruises that littered her exposed skin from the duel she just had with dream. “y/n…what did you do?”

“can we not do this right now?” she sighed heavily as she took the blue from ghostbur and stuffed it in her pocket. “i don’t need you to go all ‘dadza’ on me right after i almost got stabbed to death by the masked idiot.”

phil shot her a look that said ‘we’ll talk about this later’ and bent down to help her stand up. “fine. let’s just get you to techno’s. i’m sure he has some materials to get you all cleaned up and healed.”

the three of them began their journey towards techno’s house. there was scattered chatter from philza and ghostbur every couple minutes but there was never any remark from y/n. 

“i know what will help you, y/n!” ghostbur exclaimed as they tied up the small boat they used. “seeing tommy!”

y/n stopped dead in her tracks on the sand, turning to look at ghostbur with a confused stare. “what…what do you mean?”

“do you not know?” ghostbur asked.

“know what?”

“oh you’ll love this!” ghostbur beamed innocently. “tommy is at techno’s house!”

“what?” y/n whispered. she snapped her head towards her father figure and stared blankly. “for how long?”

“only a few days,” phil said. she felt anger boil inside of her at philza’s words. she started walking again, towards techno’s house with purpose in her step, ignoring the pain from her cuts and bruises.

“and you were going to tell me when?” y/n seethed. ghostbur and philza hurried after her, barely falling into step with her hasty movements. 

“soon,” phil said, his voice raising slightly to match her tone. “we were trying to figure out what the situation was with dream and tubbo.”

“and you didn’t think that i should have been involved in that conversation? or were you going to wait until after dream killed me to say something?” y/n bit back. she turned down the path towards techno’s house, the subtle landmarks indicating which way she was supposed to go before her eyes caught sight of the small spruce cabin. she sprinted towards the cabin, ignoring the shooting pain in her legs. y/n banged on techno’s door until he through it open. he looked at the much shorter girl with surprise, his eyes flitting between her and phil and ghostbur standing behind her awkwardly. “where is he?”

“where’s who?” techno coughed. even though he was the infamous technobalde who never died and was notorious for his dueling skills, nothing scared him more than y/n when she was upset. the root of this fear being when she was first introduced to techno, he thought it would be funny to steal her favorite sword from the chest in her room. he ended up with a black eye. ever since then, y/n’s been the one person to strike fear into the heart of the almighty technoblade.

“you know exactly who i’m talking about,” y/n huffed. she glared at techno as he shifted on his heels. techno glanced at phil who just nodded before he let y/n into the house.

“follow me,” he said as he descended the ladder.  “what happened to your face?”

“what happened to yours?” she sneered. 

“ouch,” technoblade mumbled. “tommy! get out here.”

tommy came stumbling out from behind a wall and stopped when he saw y/n. there she stood, his big sister. the only person to stick with him through thick and thin. the only person to actively try to stop dream after tommy was exiled. a big smile spread across his face as he ran towards her. instinctively, she pulled tommy in for a hug. tommy hugged her back briefly before stepping away. “you’re here! you’re really here! i thought dream would’ve exiled you too by now.” 

“he definitely tried to,” y/n muttered, earning confused glances from techno and philza. 

“what happened to your face?” tommy asked once he noticed the cuts from her duel with dream.

“don’t worry about it. it doesn’t matter right now,” y/n said smiling.

“oh so he gets a real answer but i get the response of a two year old. makes sense,” techno said in his signature monotone voice. 

“it’s getting late so why don’t we eat some dinner and then relax for a little bit. like a family,” philza cut in before there could be another childish spat. 

techno maneuvered through the small kitchen, throwing raw beef and pork into their respective furnaces. tommy and ghostbur went outside to put some small additions onto the house tommy was building. 

“so, are you going to tell me what happened to you?” phil asked expectantly. the question caught techno’s attention and he turned to face them while waiting for the steak and pork chops to cook. 

“igothurtwhileduelingwithdreamtogettommybackfromexile,” y/n mumbled quickly under her breath.

“what?”

“i got hurt while dueling with dream to get tommy back from exile,” y/n said louder and slower. 

“what were you thinking? dueling dream alone? not even i’d do that,” techno chastised. very few times would he step into the role of ‘older brother’ and now was one of those times. 

“i was thinking that i needed to get my brother back to his home instead of letting him sit in god knows where all by himself,” y/n all but shouted. “phil, back me up.”

“actually, y/n, i’m siding with techno on this one. it was risky and kind of stupid to go against dream. we don’t know what weapons or resources he has and he could have killed you,” phil scolded. “you know you could have just asked techno or i for help and we could have made a plan.”

“no, i couldn’t have,” y/n said sternly. “this was my battle and i needed to fight it. by myself.”

“why won’t you let us help you?” phil asked, growing frustrated at y/n’s stubbornness. 

y/n took a deep breath and let her resolve melt. “because i don’t want to have to need help or have problems okay?! if i have problems that i can’t solve by myself then that makes me weak. tommy is my brother so it’s my job to get him back to l’manburg.”

“but y/n, we’re all a family. we’re all here for each other and will help each other out. just because we aren’t all biologically related doesn’t make tommy any less my brother than he is yours. just like your as much my sister as you are tommy’s,” ghostbur said, catching y/n, phil, and techno off guard. 

“i..i know that ghostbur,” y/n sighed. “but tommy is my responsibility and i needed to do it alone.”

“tommy is all of our responsibility, y/n,” techno replied as he pulled out the steaks from the furnace. “why do you think i let him stay here? i wouldn’t let just anyone hide here.”

“so what exactly happened?” phil asked, changing the attention back to y/n’s wounds since he could tell she was about to explode and yell at all three of them.

“where’s tommy?” y/n asked, searching the small room. 

“he said he had something for you and he wanted me to distract you,” ghostbur said. he picked up his satchel and took out a little blue bundle. “here have some blue, please calm yourself.”

“thank you ghostbur,” y/n said, flashing him a genuine smile. 

“so, what happened?” phil asked again.

y/n sighed as she put the blue into her satchel, groaning at the pain in her arm from where dream cut her. “i was on my way to go see niki and puffy but i bumped into dream. he kept taunting me about tommy’s exile and saying things about tommy not wanting to see me anymore because i abandoned him.”

“he was just saying that to make you mad, y/n,” phil sighed.

“yeah, i know. and it worked. i don’t know what happened next or who drew their sword first, all i remember is him kicking my ankle and me falling to the ground. then he cut my arm and i thought he was going to kill me but you guys showed up,” y/n explained. “he just kept taunting me. saying things like tommy wasn’t worth all the hassle and that i’d die before i’d get him back to l’manburg.” 

“let me see where he cut you,” phil said. techno was already moving through the house to get one of his healing potions for y/n. y/n took off her chest plate and showed her arm to phil. it was a lot worse than she expected. the blood was starting to cake on her arm and there was a large gash going from just above her elbow to the center of her forearm. “damn, he got you good. techno hand me the potion and a bottle of water.”

techno passed him both of the objects, smiling pitifully at y/n. sensing what was about to happen, ghostbur left the house quickly, muttering something about needing to give tommy some blue. phil unscrewed the glass bottle of water and poured it on y/n’s arm. she hissed as the water came into contact with the nasty injury. 

“holy shit, where’d you get that?” tommy’s voice cut through the room startling y/n. she snapped her head towards where he stood in the doorway. he had worry written all over his face and was staring down at the large gash on y/n’s arm.

“dream,” techno said simply. rage flashed through tommy’s face.

“that asshole did this to you?” tommy asked. he didn’t wait for a response. “when i get my hands on him-”

“tommy,” y/n sighed. “it’s okay don’t worry about it.” 

“it’s not okay, y/n,” tommy said. 

“well what are we going to do about it?” y/n asked.

“well they’re having a festival in l’manburg,” techno cut in. “and we know that dream is for sure going to be there.”

“what’re you saying, techno?” phil asked while handing y/n the healing potion. 

“i’m saying, we do something about this guy and take him out once and for all. we go to the festival and freak havoc. then it’s a win-win.”

“a win-win?” y/n inquired.

“you guys can take down dream,” techno paused. “and i’ll take down l’manburg.”

[numba99]

Tis The Damn Season

Summary: You return to home around the holidays, bringing up some unresolved feelings between you and your best friend Nolan. This was highly inspired by the song Tis the damn season but Taylor Swift. I highly recommend listening to it (its amazing) and it really sets the ~vibe~. Word count: 5.3k

a/n: this is my longest one shot ever I think omg. but I love it so much I think this is my favorite fic I have ever written. let me know what you think and please Enjoy!

Warnings: smut

You walked down the street of your hometown, accompanied only by your breath going up in smoke. You were surprised that you were barely even registering the cold. You had assumed when you left Winnipeg for LA, your body would completely lose all its defenses to these frigid temperatures. However, as you were beginning to learn, the Canadian cold was the kind that seeped into your body and made a home out of you. It never truly left.

You almost forgot how silent Canadian nights were, the blankets of snow soaking up nearly every sound. If it wasn’t for the crunch of snow under your boots, you imagined it would be silent enough to hear your heart thumping in your chest. Especially now, as your heart began to realize where your feet were taking you. Nolan’s house.

You’ve been back at your parents’ house for a few days now as you got ready for the holidays. You hadn’t so much as seen Nolan once since you returned. In normal circumstances that would be absolutely unheard of, but considering you haven’t heard from Nolan in months, circumstances were certainly not normal.

Ever since you returned home, you’d been going on these nightly walks, as if trying to retrace your steps to that night where it all went so wrong. It felt like years ago thinking back to it now. It had been an oddly mild March night - nothing like the weather now - and you were home for spring break. It was your last semester at school and you had made probably what was the biggest decision of your life up until that moment. Instead of moving back home from your school in California after graduation, you were going to stay there. It was bittersweet, you loved your hometown and all the family and friends that inhabited it, but you also felt like you were meant for something more. Something bigger.

You were sitting with Nolan on your porch, enjoying your last night before you would return to school when you told him.

“What do you mean you’re moving there? Like permanently?” Nolan had asked, brows stitched together in confusion. His response had taken you aback; you expected him to be surprised but he seemed genuinely upset.

“I mean I can’t predict where I’ll end up forever, but it would definitely be permanent for the foreseeable future,” you had explained.

“I’m never going to see you,” Nolan had replied, his voice barely above a whisper. There was genuine hurt in his voice that was creating an ache in you that you couldn’t quite place.

“Nols, we barely see each other now. Remember that team you play for? In Philly? That not exactly close to home,” you had tried to sound light, but the joke fizzled and died in the tension between the two of you.

“You shouldn’t do it y/n,” Nolan replied, shocking you with his lack of support. You were rarely ever angry at Nolan, but this sparked annoyance in you. He was your best friend, why wasn’t he happy for you?

“It’s not up to you,” you replied, more defensive than you intended. You couldn’t help it, everyone you told had been questioning you and you had built up frustration. You’d thought about this for a while, and it felt right, you didn’t understand why everyone was acting like you were making some crazy impulsive decision. No one questioned Nolan when he went after his dream of playing in the NHL, so why was this suddenly so crazy to all your friends and family?

“And what are you gonna do there? What friends do you have?” he had fired back.

The anger in his voice made the words sting more than they should have. “I have a job lined up after graduation. And I have plenty of friends, thank you very much.” Anger was bubbling up in you - you were notorious for letting yourself get to a boiling point and just explode at someone. Nolan was getting dangerously close to being the unlucky victim.

“Right, your LA friends how could I forget,” Nolan muttered, rolling his eyes. Nolan had visited you once while you were in college. Let’s just say he didn’t exactly get along with your friends there. He hasn’t visited since. Partially because of his busy schedule, and partially because you knew he thought they were… not his type of people (to put it nicely).

“Just because you don’t like them doesn’t mean they’re bad people,” you snapped. What did he know? “And why are so pissed about this? I didn’t throw a fit when you moved to Philly.”

“That’s completely different.”

“How?”

Nolan stared at his hands, and you knew him long enough to know that what he did when he was something weighing heavy on his mind. He opened his mouth a few times before finally speaking, “I don’t want you to be that far from me.”

You were taken aback again but in a completely different manner. “What do you-”

Before you could even process what was happening, his hand cupped your face and his lips found yours. That was the closest you had ever been to a heart attack. Nolan was your first and best friend. Your parents had met in college, their friendship being the predecessor to yours. You were born pretty close together, so you’ve literally known him your entire life. There was no one you were closer with, no one who knew you better. You’re not exactly sure when your feelings grew beyond friendship. You supposed the seeds had been planted early, blooming over time into something you couldn’t control even if you tried.

Having a crush on your best friend is about as fun as it sounds, especially when you don’t think they feel the same. That’s why it shocked you so much to feel him kiss you. It was something you’d wanted for years, though you had never thought it would ever be a reality. You were speechless.

Nolan must have sensed your shock when he pulled away. He mumbled something that sounded like a goodbye and left in a hurry. You should have said something. You should have gone after him. But you didn’t, you sat there, weighed down by surprise of a dream coming true in a nightmarish way.

And then silence.

Nolan didn’t come to see you off the next day. He’d never missed you leaving for college, even when it was just returning after a break like this. The two of you rarely went more than a day without speaking and now there was nothing. With every day that passed that you didn’t hear from him, the ache that started that night you told him you were moving grew. Now that it had been months since you last spoke to him, it practically consumed you.

You knew how ridiculous it looked. He was your best friend, you should have been able to reach out to him. But that kiss had left you in a vacuum. Nothing made sense after it. Besides, he kissed you, shouldn’t he be the one to break the ice? Maybe that was a silly way to think of it, but with the more time that passed without speaking, the harder it felt to reach out. Now that it had been months, it seemed like an impossible bridge to gap.

Every night since you returned, you had walked the block that your homes share. Deep down, you knew your feet were on a mission to get you to his place, but it wasn’t until today that you were able to get close. You had always pulled yourself away before you could really get a good look at it. Today, however, you were finally standing in front of it, basking in the familiar, warm glow.

Your heart began to pound, realizing at any moment someone from his family could look out and see you standing there. You were about to turn around and hightail it home when the front door opening caused you to freeze. Your breath caught in your throat. It was Nolan.

His head was down, a grey beanie pulled down low over his forehead. He almost didn’t notice you; his eye only catching you when he reached his car. He stopped in his tracks, looking at you as if trying to decide if you were real.

“Y/n? Is that you?” he asked, his voice somewhere between confusion and conservative joy.

“Yeah, uh- hey,” was the only thing you could get out. You suddenly became aware of just how cold it was.

“Hey,” he replied, his voice seeming to be just on the crest of a quiver, “Where you… what are you doing out here?” It was clear he didn’t know what to make of you standing outside his house, and you didn’t blame him. You probably would be equally as shocked if the tables were turned.

You searched your brain for something to say. Nolan was someone you could talk about anything with, so it was killing you now to feel like you couldn’t find the right words to say to him. “I was just going for a walk I guess,” you answered finally. It was partially true.

“Clearing your head?” he guessed.

You nodded, allowing the smallest of smiles. He still could read you after all this time. “Yeah, I guess that’s exactly what I was doing.”

“Me too,” Nolan replied, motioning to his car. There was a quick silence before he asked, “Do you wanna join me?”

You could feel your blood coursing through you, spreading sweet warmth spiked with nerves. You missed him so much, and even though you didn’t know if it was smart to spend time with him when you didn’t even know what you wanted to say to him, you could not resist getting into his truck. You desperately needed something familiar.

You nodded and Nolan gave you one of his infamous half-smiles, punctuated by the click of his truck doors unlocking. You silently slipped into the passenger seat, something you’ve done a million times before, breathing in the scent you knew would be there. Mint and clean leather. Somethings never change.

It was weird going through the motions as nothing had ever changed. You could almost pretend that things hadn’t. However, the thick silence that settled between the two of you prevented you from reveling in that dream. It was so foreign to sit next to Nolan and feel uncomfortable. You never felt awkward around him - well there was that one time when he walked in on you in your bra but that was short-lived. He went out and bought a bra just so you could walk in on him in one so the two of you were even. It was ridiculous but it made you laugh and forget about your embarrassment. That was one of your favorite things about Nolan, he always knew how to make you feel better now. You could use that Nolan.

“Where were you planning on going?” You asked when you couldn’t stand the silence anymore. You tried to sound casual, but you heard the nerves fraying in your own voice.

“Somewhere we both know well,” Nolan replied. Cryptic as always, but you didn’t push. You had a feeling you knew where he was going anyway. The dark road sprawled out before you, illuminated only by his headlights and street lamps that were losing a fighting battle against the darkness of a December night in Canada.

You didn’t expect Nolan to say much as he drove, and you were still at a loss so the silence continued, heavy and suffocating. It felt like the two of you were fighting to breathe in the last bit of oxygen the small space had to offer. That made it all the more of a relief when you recognized the turns Nolan was taking. He was going to a park the two of you spent a ridiculous amount of time in as children. Even as you grew, it continued to be a place the two of you enjoyed, whether it be hiking the trails in the summer or sledding down the giant hill in the winter. It also became the location of many of your heart to hearts when one of you was going through something. A fitting spot for whatever was about to happen.

Nerves fluttered through your stomach as he pulled in. You knew a talk was coming, but you had no idea where the two of you would stand when he drove you out and that terrified you.

Nolan parked by the playground, buried under a thick blanket of snow. It stood like a relic to a lost childhood, a sense of freedom and possibility that was lost under burdens it wasn’t meant to bear.

“I would say we should go to our bench, but I don’t think you’d survive the trek,” Nolan joked lightly. The bench he was referring to was the one you always had your talks at. It was tucked away beyond the playground under a large maple, which you could see peeking out above the climbing walls. Somewhere on that tree “NP + Y/I friends 4 evr” was carved into the trunk. You weren’t sure how many summers ago the two of you did it anymore, but you do know you wished you’d carved a heart instead of just friends. Regardless, it puts a smile on your face every time you see it.

“Me? I didn’t know you were suddenly immune to frostbite,” you replied as playfully as you could manage.

“I’m better off than you. I haven’t been spending the last few months in LA.” You knew it was supposed to be a joke, but it came out with an accusatory edge. Any response you could think of died on your lips. A fight was the last thing you wanted to start right now. Back to silence.

Both of you kept your eyes trained ahead; it was a lot easier than facing each other. That didn’t stop you from stealing glances from your peripheral, trying to get a read on him. Nolan had an infamous poker face, but his energy was palpable. He was buzzing like a fluorescent.

Suddenly you couldn’t take it anymore. “Why?” You broke through the wall of ice between the two of you. “Why did you disappear on me?”

“I’ve been here the whole time. Technically you disappeared on me,” Nolan replied.

“I told you I was going,” you shot back.

“Yeah, the day before. More of a warning would have been nice,” he mumbled.

“Oh, so you could have a few extra days to ignore me?” Your words came out more venomous than you intended. Months of sadness were being compressed into a deep, hurting frustration.

Nolan finally looked at you, hurt etched into the blue of his eyes. A street light shined behind him, giving him an ethereal glow. Even though he was upset with you, he still took your breath away. “Talking is a two-way street you know,” he fired back, “You never picked up the phone either. I thought… I don’t know.”

“What?” you pressed.

“I thought you forgot about me.” His voice was barely audible, his eyes falling away from yours.

You couldn’t help but let out a strained laugh since it was the absolute opposite of the truth. “Nolan I thought about you every single day since I left,” you admitted without thought. You quickly added, “As pathetic and weird as that sounds, it’s the truth.”

“I thought about you every day, too,” he replied, looking at you again. Some of the hurt has dissipated in response to your statement.

“So why didn’t I hear from you?” You were less accusatory and more curious in tone this time. The anger was leaving you, now you were just confused and sad over the time you lost with him.

Nolan, taking off his beanie for a second to run his hand through his hair. “I guess I thought I fucked up,” he replied, pulling the beanie back into place. He added sheepishly, “By kissing you, I mean.”

Your heart ached. “Did you regret it?” you asked, trying not to show how much of a blow it would be to you if he said yes.

“No,” he replied, “I mean I would only regret it if it pushed you away, which I sort of feel like I did. You just looked so shocked and upset after, I thought I crossed a line. Then when I didn’t hear from you, I thought you were mad.” He paused, looking down at his hands, turning words over in his head. “I guess I was kind of embarrassed, too,” he said finally, “I’ve wanted to do that for so long, and then it kinda blew up in my face.”

You couldn’t believe what you heard. He wanted to kiss you? For a long time? You covertly pinched yourself to make sure this wasn’t some cruel dream. “You have?”

Nolan let out an embarrassed laugh. “Yeah, I have. I was just scared if you didn’t feel the same it would completely fuck up our friendship. Which it looks like I succeeded in doing.” he sighed.

You shook your head. “Nolan, you could not be more wrong,” you replied. He cocked a brow at you and you continued, “I’ve had a crush on you since- well- forever. I’ve wanted to kiss you for the longest time. I was just so shocked that it happened I sorta shut down.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” you confirmed. “God I feel like such an idiot.”

“That makes two of us,” Nolan half laughed. You joined him in the short laughter, fueled mostly by shock. A short silence returned as the two of you digested the weight of the revelations you just had.

“So… where do we go from here?” Nolan asked finally.

You let out a long sigh as you tried to collect your thoughts. “I’m not sure,” you replied honestly. “I mean hearing that you feel the same way as I do as you is the best news I’ve gotten in like, well ever,” you paused laughing at yourself, “But these last few months… they’ve been so hard. It’s hard to digest all this.”

“Was it all bad because of me?” Nolan asked, concernedly.

“No, not entirely,” you replied, not wanting him to feel guilty. In truth, he was only part of the equation. You had a ridiculous stubborn streak so it was hard for you to admit that maybe moving to LA wasn’t a great idea. You quickly learned that going to school and living/working somewhere were two totally different things. In school, you knew your friends were available every weekend; there was always something to do and people to be with. Now, everyone was weighed down by jobs and responsibilities that far outweighed term papers. Not to mention the job you thought was perfect was looking more like a dead end every day. Plus, Nolan may have been right about a few of your friends not being so great.

You continued, “It’s just, well it’s hard for me to admit, but LA isn’t exactly what I thought it was going to be. It was definitely hard without you, like so many times I wanted to reach out to you, but I didn’t because I was scared and confused. I feel pretty stupid about that now.”

You half expected Nolan to tell you he told you so, which you wouldn’t even blame him if he did, but he said, “I wish I was there for you. I’m sorry”

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault, we were both kinda stupid,” you replied as lightly as you could, “But if these last few months have taught me anything, it’s that I need you in my life. If we were together and something went wrong and I lost you, I don’t even know what I’d do.”

Nolan nodded in agreement, “You’re my best friend, I never want anything to come between that.” You both believed the words you spoke, and yet it felt like things were unfinished. You both weren’t satisfied with going back like nothing had ever happened.

“What if,” you began slowly, “I mean I’m here for a few more days, what if we just gave this - us - a shot during that time. We don’t tell anyone, it’s just for us to explore. If it doesn’t work out we can just go back to being best friends and forget this mess. But if it does… well I guess we will go from there.”

“I think that’s perfect,” Nolan agreed, joy creeping into his voice for the first time since you began talking. You couldn’t help but fling your arms around him in a big hug. It’s been so fucking long since you got to do that; it brought you an indescribable level of joy just to feel his arms around you again.

You both pulled back, smiling at each other, the hurt of the last few months melting away. Nolan brought his hand to your face and pulled you in for a soft kiss. Your head was spinning.

“As much as I wanted to do that the first time,” he said with a smile when he pulled away, “I wanted to do it a million times more now.” You giggled, pulling him back to your lips. You were never going to get tired of this.

“Take me home Nols,” you said breathlessly when you were finally able to peel yourself away. Nolan smiled, quickly shifting his truck into gear. You loved that you didn’t have to specify his home. He knew you, better than anyone.

Silence returned, but of a much different variety. It was now charged, alive with the promise of what was to come. You kept your hand firmly laced with Nolan’s, not wanting to give up touching me for a second. You’ve wanted this for so long, you had lost time to make up for. Years of it.

You’ve never been more glad that the basement of Nolan’s house had been turned into a little apartment for him. You absolutely adored his family, but you didn’t want to be seen by any of them sneaking into his room at this hour. That would be hard to explain.

Nolan helped you out of the truck, lifting you over some large piles of snow. After just a few steps over ice and banks of snow, Nolan decided it was easier to just carry you. You didn’t protest, letting out only a muffle shriek-giggle as he hoisted you on to his back. He navigated the tundra that was his yard with you clinging to him like it was nothing.

The warmth of his little place enveloped you the second he opened the door. Your lips found each other with a newfound excitement as the door closed behind you. You breathed in his familiar scent - mint and cedar - and realized why you had bought so many cedar candles when you moved. You’d been trying to replicate Nolan’s scent subconsciously, but nothing compared to the original. You began pulling off each other’s outerwear, trying to keep as much contact as possible. Within minutes coats and snowflakes were surrounding your feet.

You continued to kiss and peel off clothing as you half walked, half stampeded to his bedroom. You’d been in it plenty of times before when you guys hung out, but it felt so much more intimate this time around. You fell backwards onto his bed, his sheets greeting your back like a soft kiss. Nolan climbed on top of you, a heavy, lusty grin painted on his face. You took in each other, both only in your underwear. Rationally you knew it was no different than seeing each other in a bathing suit, something you’ve experienced countless times, but it still felt worlds apart. You couldn’t help but blush under his gaze.

Nolan’s hand came under your chin, tilting your face so he could look at you in the eyes. “No need to be shy, love,” his voice was smooth as honey, “It’s only me.” He punctuated his words with kisses down your neck. He to plant extra slow, sweet kisses around the edge where your bra met your skin, before removing the garment from your body. “So pretty,” he breathed against your skin. You tangled your fingers through his hair as his kissed and sucked lightly at your delicate skin.

“Nols,” you breathed as you felt his length brush against your clothed core. There were two too many layers of fabric between you. “Please.”

“I got you baby,” he cooed. He shed the final bits of clothing from the two of you and you sucked in a breath. He was bigger than you thought (because yes you had thought about it more than you care to admit), but moreso, you couldn’t believe this was happening. For so long, Nolan had felt like a dream to you, beautiful but always just out of reach. But now he was here in the flesh, touching you and kissing you and fuck you don’t know how you got this damn lucky.

“God you’re perfect,” he sighed, reverent.

“Look who’s talking,” you replied, running your hands down his body, truly feeling him. “You’re like a god or an angel or something.” You were tripping over your words, completely flustered by having him like this. So flustered, that you didn’t even notice his hand trailing up your thighs until two fingers slid into. Your head fell back, a moan melting from your lips.

“Now that’s angelic,” Nolan smiled, returning his lips to your neck. You weren’t sure if it was because you were so into him or if he was a master with his hands(probably both), but he had you worked up in minutes. Your body reacted to his every touch, arching into him to get as close as possible.

“Nolan I’m gonna-” the words died on your lips as a wave of bliss flooded your body. You let out breathless gasps, feeling a pleasure you have never previously experienced.

“Fuck that was hot,” Nolan said almost to himself. The way he looked at you made you feel like you could cum all over again.

“I need you Nols,” you said, greedy for more. He didn’t skip a beat, fishing out a condom from his bedside table before returning to you. Your heart was pounding with nervous excitement and you silently told it that you would never forgive it if it gave out before you got to finish this experience.

Nolan seemed to sense your nerves and pressed a soft kiss to your lips before saying, “We’ll go slow. Just enjoy it.” You nodded kissing him back before positioning him against you. You were so slick from your first orgasm that he slid in easy, though it didn’t make the feeling any less intense. Your back arched and Nolan gripped your hips into place, hissing at the feeling of you around him.

It wasn’t until he was all the way in that you both let out a breath. You felt so full and satisfied you’d be fine if he stopped there. Of course, he had other plans in mind. True to his word, he went slow, drawing out every thrust to let you feel each other. “You feel fucking amazing,” the words tumbled out of his mouth. If you weren’t so blissed out you may have been able to muster a reply.

Slowly, his pace quickened and you knew you weren’t going to last much longer. It was crazy what Nolan did to you, the way he was able to make you feel this good. And he knew it too. Sensing you were close again, his thumb found your clit, rubbing circles over the already sensitive spot. “Come on baby, cum for me,” he purred, licking his lips.

It was all  you needed to succumb to his euphoria. His name left your mouth in a moan as you came for the second time. You barely heard his curses through your fog of bliss, but you couldn’t mistake the feeling of him twitching inside you as he came along with you. This blew everything you ever imagine out of the water by a mile.

“That was…” Nolan’s voice trailed off as he collapsed beside you. He pulled you on to his chest, peppering you with kisses.

“Amazing? Mind blowing? Perfect?” you offered.

“Perfect,” he confirmed, kissing you once more.

*** The next few days passed in a blur of pure perfection. There is nothing more that you needed after your disastrous few months in LA than to be surrounded by the people you love at the holidays. And being with Nolan made it all the more better. Truly, it wasn’t much more different than when you were friends, except there was a lot more kissing and touching under dinner tables.

When you weren’t enjoying these magical moments, your mind was going a mile a minute. You were trying to figure out all your options and navigate all the paths you could possibly take in your mind. No matter how many different possibilities you came up with, they always lead you back to Nolan. After these few days you couldn’t imagine your life without Nolan, and not just as a friend, but as a lover. Not just a lover, the lover, the only one you’d ever need. Or want.

Making that revelation both excited and terrified you. If he didn’t feel the same it would crush you. Those feelings came to a head on your last night, sitting out on your porch with Nolan like those many months ago. You could hear Christmas music and laughter of your families floating out from your house.

“So,” Nolan began.

“So,” you echoed, feeling the weight of the moment pressing down on you.

“I’m just gonna cut to the chase,” he began, “I don’t think I’ve ever been  happier than I have been in these past few days. I love you, y/n. I always have and I probably always will even if you don’t feel the same. But I want this. I want us.”

You practically jumped on him, giving him a long kiss and not caring if anyone inside saw. “I love you too, Nolan,” trying to fight back tears. They were happy ones, but they’d probably freeze on your face. Nolan beamed brighter than you’d ever seen him.

“I have a sort of crazy thought though,” you admitted.

“What’s that?”

“I know I want to be in a city and all this time I thought LA was my perfect fit. But it’s certainly not,” you huffed, “But I think I know what would be. Philly.” Nolan looked at you like he was trying to decode if you were joking. You were most certainly not. What if he thought it was crazy? Or too much too soon.

Your insecurities disappeared as quickly as they came as he said, “There is nothing I would love more.” You hugged him tightly, wondering how it was possible for one person to feel so much joy.

“There’s just one more thing we gotta do,” Nolan smirked, “Tell our parents.” His head tilted to the front door.

“No offense, but I think your mom is gonna love this more than the necklace you gave her,” you teased, standing up and dusting some snow off of you.

Nolan chuckled, “You say that as if this hasn’t been on your mom’s list for years.” You giggled because he was absolutely right.

You took his hand as he led you back into your house. The warmth of both your home and all the people in it hit you the second the door opened, embracing you in an overwhelming sense of joy. There was absolutely no feeling in the world like loving Nolan, and you were so glad it was your feeling to keep. Forever.

[ejzah]

A/N: This story comes via request from @mashmaiden. Set early in season 5, when Kensi was still concerned about Deeks’ risky behavior and such. I hope I did it justice.

***

An Anchor To Hold You Through The Storm

“I don’t want to talk about this right now, Kensi.”

Deeks’ words kept playing through her head, despite her best efforts to drown them out with Top Model and junk food.

Today she’d almost lost her partner. There’d been so many close calls before, most recently when she’d found him after Sidorov tortured him. This time though, Kensi was certain he was going to die.

They’d been searching a clothing factory when Deeks uncovered a bomb with amid a pile of knock off designer jeans. With only two minutes left left on the timer, Kensi had run for the exit and alerted Eric that they needed the bomb squad immediately. It was only once she was outside that she realized Deeks hadn’t followed her.

She’d watched in frozen horror, waiting for the building to explode. It never came and a minute later Deeks casually wandered out, actually smiling. He’d seemed surprised when she first hugged him and then immediately punched him in the chest, drawing a yelp from him.

The most terrifying thing wasn’t his reckless behavior, but how little he seemed to care that he nearly died. His jokes and irreverence in dangerous situations was completely normal, his total disregard for his own life was not.

When she’d finally had a chance to approach him at the end of the day, Deeks dismissed her concerns with a laugh. She hadn’t let it go though and continued pressing Deeks to talk to her. He’d snapped back then, accusing her of babying him and firmly told her wanted to be left alone.

Hurt and angry, she’d left him at his desk, intending not to think about him again until Monday morning. Kensi couldn’t though. She couldn’t stop thinking about the look in his eye as she walked away; distant, a little confused. Definitely not alright like he kept insisting.

It was more than the ridiculous stunt he’d pulled today or his response afterward. There was a heaviness that lingered around him, when he thought no one was watching and he was more on edge, like he was prepared for attack at any moment. Worst of all was the deep sadness she saw in his eyes at random moments.

Sighing deeply, Kensi punched the power button to turn off American Idol and started rooting around the floor for her shoes. Maybe Deeks would push her away again, but she at least had to try to help him. It was her responsibility as his partner and friend.

On the way to his apartment, she grabbed a couple shakes and burgers. Food had worked pretty well at getting through to him last time, so maybe it would work again. As she pulled up to his place, she saw that all the curtains were drawn and she pulled in a shaky breath as she rang the doorbell.

She didn’t hear any noise, not even Monty’s paws clicking on the hardwood floor, and her disquiet increased. Hoping that Deeks was just sleeping or couldn’t hear the sound of the bell, she pressed it a couple more time. Eventually she cupped both hands around face and peered in the small gap left between the curtains and window. It was completely dark inside.

Feeling sick to her stomach, she wandered back to her SUV. Deeks could be anywhere right now and it was her fault for letting her emotions get the better of her. She could only hope that he’d simply decided to stay late at work, even if it was with the intent to wear himself out on a punching bag.

She drove back home slowly, feeling a sense of defeat. It felt like she was losing her friend and she had no idea how to stop it. It was horribly familiar to her experience with Jack, yet somehow it was even more devastating.

By the time Kensi made it back to her apartment, it was after 10, but she was considering heading back to the mission. It wasn’t until she was halfway down the walk to her door that she noticed a familiar figure sitting on her front steps. His blond curls were unmistakeable.

“Deeks, what are you doing here?” she asked quietly and Deeks jerked, head springing up like someone had shocked him. He sighed shakily, rubbing his jaw, his hand visibly shaking.

“I, uh, was coming to see you,” he explained, gesturing towards the door. “When you didn’t answer, I figured I might as well wait. It’s not like I have anywhere else to be.”

Kensi approached him slowly, stopping a few feet away. His gaze was downward, shoulders hunched again.

“Why did you come?” He shrugged, sighing, and finally looked up again. Even in the less than ideal lighting, the exhaustion was obvious in his eyes, the lines around his mouth.

“I wanted to say, that I acted like an idiot and a jerk and you didn’t deserve it,” Deeks answered, giving her a weak smile. “I’m sorry.”

“Forgiven,” Kensi murmured. She closed the space between them, dropping next to him on the top step. It was a warm night, but concrete felt cool in comparison through her jeans. Her shoulder brushed his when she breathed.

Inclining her knees towards him, Kensi took one of his hands, knowing she was crossing a line. Deeks looked a little surprised, but didn’t pull which she took as a good sign.

“I’m going to ask you a question,” she began slowly, squeezing his hand more firmly. “and I want you to promise me that you won’t get angry with me again or change the subject.”

“Ok.” He nodded. “I promise I won’t freak out this time.”

Ok. How are you really doing?”

“Honestly? I’m struggling a little bit,” he admitted. Rubbing his eyes with his free hand, he groaned. “I’m still having trouble sleeping sometimes. The nightmares…well, they beat any of your movies. Some days it feels like I’ll never be the same again.”

Kensi’s heart hurt for him, for how much he was still suffering without any support. A part of her wanted to ask about the stunt he’d pulled earlier, but she knew it wasn’t the right time. He didn’t need lectures or judgement.

“I’m sorry, Deeks. I don’t know if it’s much help, but I’m here for whatever you need,” she told him, carefully taking both his hands between hers. There was a wealth of vulnerability in his eyes as he stared at her and he blew out a short breath.

“It does. More than you’ll ever know.” His expression shifted to something more than gratefulness, which Kensi was not ready to examine at the moment. Clearing her throat, she let go of Deeks’ hands, and gestured to the front door.

“Well, why don't we go in? I have sone milkshakes in the car that are probably only halfway melted.”

His smile was more genuine as he accepted her offered hand, heaving himself up with a groan.

“Awesome, warm ice cream is my favorite,” he replied. As she turned to retrieve the food, he touched her shoulder and added, “Thanks, Kens.”

[kingreywrites]

So Pardon The Dust

Fandom: Tangled

Word Count: 2493

Summary: When they arrive in the Dark Kingdom, the king has been dead for years.

Note: this is bittersweet, but the idea couldn’t leave me alone, and i had to write it out! so yeah, edmund’s death is heavily talked about, be careful if that’s not your thing! I just love Destinies Collide, and love what-ifs, so this story was born from there asghdh

Read on ao3

When they arrive in the Dark Kingdom, the king has been dead for years. 

They don't know that. What they do know is that once their travel in a shaky gondola over an immense rift ends, everything seems too easy. The kingdom is dark, cold, smells of dust and rust permeating the air, and it makes it hard to imagine that anyone has ever lived in such a place. But Rapunzel's hair pushes her forward, and they don't spend any more time thinking about it. 

They enter the equally dark and cold castle, searching for the moonstone. 

Desperate for a flicker of warmth, Lance lights a fire in a lifeless living room with no windows. Eugene's gaze is drawn to a painting, throning above the fireplace and depicting a man and a woman he presumes to be the king and queen. 

He cannot explain the deep uneasiness he feels at the sight, or even why he can hardly tear his eyes away from the picture. His heart is racing, and he explains it by blaming it on his concern for Rapunzel. 

The queen's smile remains etched in his mind as he moves forward. 

The king has been dead for years. They don't know it, but Eugene finds a room filled with overhanging statues and, sitting in front of a gigantic door, is a tiny skeleton covered in too big clothes and dust. A dark crown still hangs grotesquely on its head, but the first thing Eugene sees is the purple gem necklace between the fingers of its single hand. The same as the queen's in the painting. 

Eugene has a bitter taste in his mouth. Rapunzel holds his hand, also upset, and he remembers that they are here for her, and for her destiny. He holds her fingers tighter between his, and they move toward the door. 

The ghosts are… certainly a surprise.

Death is not something new to Eugene, yet he can't help but feel nauseous when the king's ghost appears so close to his own skeleton, eyes full of a melancholy and anger that only he understands.

He doesn't seem to be capable of speech. He just groans and attacks, mindlessly guarding the stone that cost him his life. When Adira arrives to help them, she calls him Edmund, a soft grief in her voice, and Eugene keeps the name in a corner of his head. Edmund. Not a ghost, not a skeleton, but Edmund, who protected his kingdom until he died trapped within it.

Finally, Eugene is the one who destroys his statue. He cuts off its head, and tries to forget how a few seconds before, it was his own that could have been lost, if the king's axe had not struck beside it. Luck saved his life this time.

Adira asks Rapunzel to enter the moonstone chamber by herself. She says that it's her destiny, and hers alone. Eugene wants to protest, worry burning in his heart, but he doesn't even have the time - Rapunzel looks at Cassandra, and announces that the three of them will go inside. He should be relieved, but he can't help but take another look at the king's- Edmund's body. Many people have died for this stone, and the more time passes, the more terrified he is of what awaits them on the other side. He knows death, more than any other member of this group probably; he's been around it personally. He promised himself when he came back to life, that he would never let Rapunzel die the way he did, slowly and violently, when she has so much to live for.

He doesn't know where this promise will lead him. 

When they arrive in the Dark Kingdom, the king is dead. They enter easily, and though the ghosts of past rulers stand in their way, the path to the moonstone is far from the most difficult adventure he has ever experienced. Eugene is worried, of course he is - he's afraid of the conclusion of their journey, afraid of what he cannot predict. Rapunzel tells him she loves him, and he almost wants to throw up, because they're in the middle of a kingdom murdered by that exact stone Rapunzel intends to grab. I love you too, he thinks, but can't manage to say, because the words sound like a goodbye, and he's not ready for that. He'd die one thousand times for her, if she asked him to. He'd die for her against her will too, if necessary, but he knows he can't get in the way today. As desperate as he is to protect her, he knows how much she values being able to draw her own path.

He wants to grab the moonstone first because he loves her, and because he loves her, he stays back.

That's not the case for everyone. He notices too late Cass running for it, and Demanitus' warning echoes once again in his ears, mocking now that the only thing he can do is try to pull Rapunzel to safety as the world explodes in colours. The king is dead, and their friendship with Cassandra is too, the shadow of Gothel haunting Rapunzel once again despite how much she deserves to be free from it. Cassandra flees, Eugene hurts his arm when she pushes him away, and Rapunzel runs after her, desperate to salvage what can be.

It doesn't amount to much, in the end.

Things settle down, as much as they can while Rapunzel still sits listlessly near the broken bridge Cassandra left behind, and Eugene goes in the castle again, in search of bandages this time. His left arm hurts.

He doesn't expect to find Adira, standing silently in front of... Edmund. Her back is rigid, her mouth in a straight line, but when he calls her name, he sees a foreign melancholy in her eyes. He doesn't know her that well, but there's a lot Eugene can understand from looking into somebody's eyes.

Adira sighs, shoulders lowering, and he's sure she hears his unsaid question. "I shouldn't be surprised," she says, but it's clear that in a way, she is. "I… knew, that King Edmund was not well, when we left. I often considered that he might very well be…" she trails off, her eyes falling on his body again.

"It's different to be sure," Eugene responds softly, his voice loud in the silence of this immense room. Watching them - Adira, and this skeleton, barely hanging together enough to recognise a human shape - it was difficult to conceive that once upon a time, they had stood here together, alive and happy, perhaps. He can't imagine what it feels like to see an old friend this way, with no warning. "Adira…"

"It's okay, Fishskin," she smiles, and in her voice, he could hear the echoes of all the time Rapunzel told him she was fine, because she didn't know how to act when she was not.

He barely knows Adira. Both because he didn't ask, and because she didn't want him, or anyone, to know her. But he can guess easily that her life had never been one of peace, not even before leaving the Dark Kingdom, and losing contact with the other members of the Brotherhood. He doesn't think she's unhappy, per se, but he- he knows, they all know, especially now after everything that happened, that anger and fear and grief are not emotions that should be let to fester until they explode. Maybe it's his worry for Rapunzel speaking; maybe he's confusing everything, and Adira is simply dealing with the situation the way she wants to, but before he can think better of it, Eugene takes a step forward, and asks her if she wants to bury the king's body.

"To- To give him a better resting place," he explains awkwardly, her eyes piercing right through him. He's ready to say sorry and hope she doesn't kill him for overstepping her boundaries, but, to his surprise, she softens, a genuine if sad smile on her lips.

"Actually Fishskin, that's… a great idea."

And so they do it. Adira finds a bear hood that the King used to wear - Dabney, she says reverently - and they place his bones in it, carefully moving everything in tandem. They don't really talk while doing it. There's not much to be said. Eugene thinks of this king, who was so desperate to save his kingdom that he doomed it, and he thinks about death, too. About how lonely it is.

Adira leads them down a few corridors, and they emerge in a small, grey looking garden. They walk until they find an unmarked tombstone.

"The queen," Adira announces shortly, and Eugene wonders if she helped bury her too.

It's not the first time Eugene digs a grave for someone. He remembers starkly getting out of the tower with Rapunzel, both of them entirely different people than who they were before, and finding a cloak and ashes at the bottom of it. He remembers how quietly distraught Rapunzel had been, and how he had proposed to bury what was left of Gothel.

Shaking his head, he tries to think about something else, but it's hard given the situation. His arm aches at each of his movements. Surprisingly, Adira breaks the silence, and that's enough to distract him.

"I often disagreed with King Edmund," she says, without looking at him. "He was a good king, but his duty to the moonstone blinded him to the bigger picture, and I was afraid that it would lead him, and us, to lose everything. I was right, as I often am," she chuckles, but there's no mirth behind it. Simply grief. Something that can't be quite put into words.

"How did he lose his arm?" Eugene asks, voice low as they finally lower the bones into the ground. His eyes catch the sight of the necklace falling aside, and when they're done, he picks it up, thumb running over the smooth surface of the gem.

"The queen died," Adira whispers. She's looking at the necklace too, when he raises his head. "Edmund's grief led him to act on the anger he had been repressing for too long, but the moonstone was much more powerful than he imagined. Its retaliation costs him everything he held dear."

Gently, Adira takes the necklace from him, and Eugene can't explain the impulse that makes him want to hold onto it for a little while longer.

He's sentimental, he reasons. There's something deeply touching about this man dying while looking at the last thing connecting him to his late wife. These are good explanations, but neither of them addresses the unease and bitterness rising in Eugene's throat. He doesn't understand it himself.

Adira looks at the necklace for a long time, emotions he can't name in her expression. Memories she will not share make her frown, and Eugene feels more and more like he doesn't belong in this moment.

"Should we… bury that with him?" he asks awkwardly. Adira bites her lips, and finally shakes her head.

"This necklace was special for the queen. I know she intended to pass it down to her children."

A terrible voice in Eugene's mind reminds him that it's too late - they both died, and that necklace, that tradition, died with them too. He's hit by the tragedy of it all again, relentlessly reminded that the king passed away long before anyone could try to save him. And they would have, Rapunzel would have convinced him to let her through, she would have given him faith, Eugene is sure of that. He thinks that's why he's angry, too. The king has been dead for years, maybe, alone and desperate until his very last moments. And Eugene, Eugene wishes to go back in time, and give him another chance, get him the help he needed before it was too late.

He has never been good at accepting unhappy endings.

"When… When King Edmund banished us from the Dark Kingdom," Adira continues, "he also made another sacrifice. He sent his son away, when he was barely a baby, to be raised far from the moonstone and its dangers."

Son. A baby, sole survivor of the royal family, who probably doesn't know he is. A baby, who isn't one anymore now, but who is probably alive, and the thought is enough for Eugene to feel something new - he'd call this hope, but he's not sure that it fits. Closure, perhaps.

"You want to give their son the necklace," he smiles shakily.

"That's what needs to be done," Adira agrees, before putting away the necklace in her pocket. The gem catches the moonlight one last time, shining brighter than before, and it's easier for Eugene to let go, this time. "However, I did not keep track of the prince. I don't know what became of him, after we left, but I will keep searching until I find him."

"Hey," Eugene grins, wanting to lighten the atmosphere a little, "you searched for the mystical and maybe non-existent sundrop, and you found it, so I'm sure a prince will be no trouble. And if you need anything, we'll be happy to help," he adds, more earnest this time.

There's a newfound warmth in her eyes, and she inclines her head, acknowledging his words. The situation feels easier, somewhat. They finish replacing the dirt on top of the king's body, and Adira places a little stone to mark the emplacement.

The king is dead, and Cassandra is gone, but Eugene wants to believe that they all can find their own healing in time.

One wrong move reawakens the pain in his arm, and Adira gauges him when he flinches. She tells him that if there are any medical supplies around there, they're probably in the King's personal quarters.

With her instructions, it's not too hard to find them. The bedroom he finds is enormous, which only heightens how empty and dark it feels. Blindly, Eugene makes his way to a window, and pushes the heavy curtains away, letting the moonlight flood the room, and reveal the ambient dust like as many little stars in the night sky.

One side of the bed is unmade. Next to the other, there is an empty crib.

His heart is racing, and he can't explain it. He turns to the bedside table, and does find what appear to be bandages, next to a pile of papers, so close to the bed that it is easy to guess that the king often looked at them. 

Eugene approaches. He tells himself, without much conviction, that he should not look. That even in death the king deserves to keep his privacy. Whatever these papers are, they must have meant a lot to him, keeping him company in his darkest hours, and Eugene doesn't belong in this story.

It only takes him a step, and a second, to recognize his old wanted posters.

[the-silentium]

5²

Masterlist

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader

Words: 2770 words

Warnings: Swearing.

Requested by: @justalittleb1tcrazy​ & Anon

Hi! I love your work, and I have an idea/request if it’s not too much to ask :) i’ve been thinking about a continuation of the 11 Five fic (because I adored it) where the Hargreeves go back to 2019 like s2 and the reader is a part of Sparrow Academy and she’s slightly more edgy personality wise, or something like that lol

Hi! Just finished reading 11 and I sobbed so hard ngl,, would it be alright to ask for a part two?? Maybe it could be about how five goes on after wards, honestly I just need closure :(( it was so good,,,

A/N: Here’s 11 Part 2! Hope you guys like it! @justalittleb1tcrazy​, I already had the part 2 planned in my head, but you weren’t wrong with the Sparrow Academy! (almost) Also, the Sparrow Academy is totally OC, I didn’t go with the comics.

The days following your death were the most exhausting days Five ever lived. Between running around to gather his siblings and trying desperately to find a way back to 2019, losing precious time to sleep wasn’t even an option. He was running on the last bits of adrenaline his body could give him, the determination to find you back in 2019 and apologize profusely while holding onto you for dear life was enough to keep his body functioning for so long. 

When Klaus broke the circle to go fetch the cowboy hat, Five genuinely wondered if the homicidal rage was finally getting to him because the thought of murdering his brother with his bare hands seemed pretty enjoyable at the moment. His patience was running thinner by the seconds and the lack of caffeine in his bloodstream was doing nothing to appease his pulsion. 

As soon as the circle was complete again, the time-traveler visualised the right equations in his mind, warmth radiated through his hands and soon he jumped to the old mansion along with his siblings. 

For a second, Five let himself live the joy of the moment. He finally did it. His dream for the past 45 years was now fulfilled, by his actions the people he loved the most could live in a world where the apocalypse never occurred and will never happen, where they had a real future and where he could live the life he wanted back when he was just a kid in the skin of his now-adult body. 

He dodged Klaus’ open arms and closed his fists to jump to his bedroom, where he knew you were waiting for him to come back from the Icarus Theatre, but the familiar laugh bouncing around in the living room stopped his movement. His heart fluttered in his chest, his desire finally so near. He didn’t lose a second and jumped to the living room, his eyes searching for you excitedly. 

You were seated on the second floor, your legs between the railings slowly swang in the air, your eyes fixated on a book opened in your hands, its words bringing a beautiful smile to your lips. 

He didn’t recon jumping behind you, but next thing he knew, your back was facing him and you perked up at the soft old floor’s whine. 

“Five, you’re back!” The joy in your voice got him to his knees, the relief of finally being able to hold you alive and well in his arms was too much for him to handle. 

On an impulse, Five’s hands reached for your cheeks as you were turning your head to welcome him home, his desperation of the last couple of days showing through the not so delicate kiss he pressed on your lips. 

Stars flashed behind his closed eyelids, not because of the power of the moment like he expected but because of the powerful right hook you managed to land on his temple. Five fell on his ass, stunned, hurt and utterly confused. 

He opened his eyes to see you hurriedly get up from your spot and back away from him. He almost didn’t register the fear in your eyes before you tripped on a nearby bench and fell over. Always quick, Five jumped to your side and caught you before you touched the hard floor. 

“What’s wrong? It’s me, Five!” He asked, his voice laced with worry while his eyes searched your face for any clue of why you attacked him after clearly being happy that he was back. 

“You’re not Five.” You spat with anger. “Let go of me, asshole!” You jiggled in his grip, successfully freeing yourself without much of a fight, your words paralyzing him. It couldn’t be. 

His sibling’s footsteps along with their worried voices echoed around Five but none of their words reached him, his thoughts were way too loud for any sound to break through his mind. 

The answer was obvious. His siblings always managed to fuck up his plans, creating the biggest catastrophes everywhere they went and destroyed everything they touched. They had fucked with the timeline. They had fucked his dream. They had fucked his future. 

Just as Five thought he couldn’t be angrier, a new bunch of people joined your side, one particular brown-haired man wrapping you in his arms from behind and holding you tightly to his chest. The sight of another man holding you made his blood boil in his vein, the feeling reminded him of the deadly phase seven; homicidal rage. If you hadn’t gripped tightly the man’s forearm, Five would have definitely jumped into a fight he was sure to lose but needed beyond reason. 

“Who the hell are these guys?” Klaus’ voice broke the heavy silence of the room. 

The biggest one of the new group turned his head toward his brother and Five already knew what he was going to say. 

“We are the Sparrow Academy. I am Number One.“ 

Five’s eyes were still locked with yours, wishing for this nightmare to end or for you to break out of your act and confess that this was a very elaborate prank like you used to pull on him in your younger years. His salvation never came. 

"Shit.”

Five was surprised his family caught up with the events instead of being clueless as usual. 

Turns out their dad was disappointed enough of them during their meeting in the 60s that he adopted a completely different set of children instead. Five was sure that it wouldn’t hurt that much, knowing his dad replaced him, but it did hurt. A lot. After all he did to save the world, he was replaced like an insignificant object. Oh and to top it all? You fell in love with the current Number Five who can manipulate time as he willed. Out of spite, Five decided to call him Square from now on. 

The lack of sleep mixed with his jealousy was making him very snappy and on edge. When he was trying to stop the apocalypse the first time, you were the only one able to calm him down from his cumulated frustration and anger. You’d take his hand, lay your head on his shoulder and talk to him about anything and everything. 

Maybe it was delusional of him to think that even in another timeline you would remember him if he shared enough time with you. He couldn’t stop thinking that he was the original, the very first Number Five and that you belonged with him and not a pale copy, so he jumped to the kitchen where he knew you were making yourself a drink.

“Hot chocolate.” The sweet scent reached his nostrils and the memory of you showing him how to make it just like you liked played in his mind, stretching his lips into a fond smile. “You never changed.”

“I don’t like what’s bitter.” You shot him a wary look, clearly remembering that he jumped on you earlier. “I thought my Five made it clear, you altered the timeline. Even if another me was with you, I am not yours.” You mixed the hot water with the cocoa mix and turned to get what else you needed to make it perfect. 

You stopped in your tracks when Five showed you the vanilla essence and chocolate chips in his hands.

“Thank you.” You whispered as you took the items from his hands. 

“Happy to know some things never change.” Five stated, following you near the mugs. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw you shoot him a glance when he reached on the shelves for a cup. 

“Do you remember your past and future lives yet?” He questioned as he prepared himself a pot of strong black coffee. 

“H-how do you know?” He was proud that finally your attention was completely on him. “My Five doesn’t even know.” Five tried to ignore the pinch of his heart when you stated that he wasn’t yours. 

“I know a lot about you.” He watched the black liquid fall from the coffee maker into the pot, hoping it would work faster. “Do you remember the 60s?" 

"I remember the French Renaissance, the US colonization and a bunch of other lives but no, I never lived in the 60s.” You frowned, your eyes moving away, surely trying to remember if you really lived in that period. 

“You did, you simply don’t remember it yet. If my theory is right, you won’t remember the 2019 life we had because everything changed in the 60s and erased it. This means that you’ll most likely remember the 60s some time soon and only then you’ll remember our 2019 because it happened back then.” His heartbeat accelerated at the perspective that you’d remember your affection for him and everything would go back to normal. Almost. 

“So you think because I’ll remember my past life I’ll leave my Five for you?” You scoffed. “You’re so frickin’ arrogant.” You grabbed your cup and turned around, preparing yourself to walk away from him. 

“I’m not arrogant!” His frustration exploded. 

“Oh yes you are!" 

"I’m scared!” His voice broke, but he didn’t care. Your furrowed brows relaxed and the insults on your tongue died along with your anger. 

“Why?" 

"I’m scared that I’ve lost forever the person who’s the most important to me. I survived 45 years in the apocalypse for you. I stopped an apocalypse for you. And you don’t even remember me.” At some point tears fell from his eyes, splashing into the cup tightly encased in his hands. “I’m scared I’ll never get to tell you that I love you.” His voice was merely a harsh whisper but you heard it nonetheless. He knew. 

Your footsteps walking away made him close his eyes in agony. Just like the day he found your tortured body lying in a pool of your blood. 

“Stop being an asswad.” You muttered before leaving the room. Five’s cup exploded between his hands, causing shards to cut into his flesh and blood to pool onto the counter. A small smile adorned his lips, a new flame of hope burning into his heart. 

You avoided him like the plague for the next following days, exiting every room he entered and eating outside the manor whenever you could. He found it quite irritating but he knew you needed the time to think. You were starting to remember, he was sure of it by the small glances he received from you everytime you fled to another room. 

He finally got some sleep, his dreams full of the comforting warmth of your arms, sweet words were whispered in his ears while one of your hands lightly combed his hair with your fingers. He desperately wanted to stay asleep, to never leave you again, but life was cruel and he always woke up, the reality hitting him like a brick. You would avoid him, again. He would die inside, again. 

After changing into his newly bought day clothes, Five jumped into the kitchen, his too great need of coffee controlling his actions. He found you seated on the counter next to the freshly brewed coffee pot, a book in hand, a hot chocolate cup in the other. 

“Good morning asswad.” You said without lifting your gaze from your line. 

Five noticed your grip tighten around your book as he made his way toward you. He stopped centimeters away from your knees, his gaze transfixed onto your evading eyes. He patiently waited for you to meet his gaze before bidding you good morning. 

Your breath caught in your throat when he leaned forward, his arm outstretched to grab a cup on the shelve behind you. Maybe today wouldn’t be as bad as the others. 

He poured himself a cup full to the brim and carefully took a first gulp of his liquid addiction. He sighed at the taste, strong and bitter, just as he liked. 

“So I do remember it right.” You closed your book and put it at your side on the counter. Your eyes lifted to meet his, causing Five to almost drop his cup at your tired expression. “What am I supposed to do now?” You sighed and rubbed your face with your free hand. 

Five’s stress level skyrocketed. He knew what you were referring to. You were torn apart between living your present or allowing your past feelings to guide who you are now. He had wished the choice would have been obvious, that you would choose him without an ounce of doubt, but you were struggling. 

“My feelings for you were so strong that I feel them now a-and they confuse me so much. I never felt that for-” You stopped yourself but Five knew what you meant. You never loved Square that hard and he was glad. “But what we had was in the past and what I have with him is real.” Tears gattered in your eyes just as panic flowed through Five’s mind. 

“What we had was real! It’s still real now! You feel it and I sure as hell still feel it!” He put down his cup and softly placed his hands on your knees, desperation to prove his point showing in his eyes. 

“I’m just being overwhelmed by my past.” You shook your head as tears fell down your cheeks. 

“No you’re not. You’re panicking because you remembered me and fell in love with me through your memories. I’m the same man and you are the same woman and you know it!" 

A sob passed your lips and Five reached for your waist to pull you into a comforting hug. Before his fingers even touched your form, you disappeared. Stunned, he turned around to find you into Square’s arms, his angry eyes shooting daggers at Five. 

"Stay away from her.” He growled before disappearing with you. 

Five kicked the nearest chair, pissed off by the time manipulator. He could not fight with someone capable of slowing, quickening or even stopping time. He had to put his last hope in you.

Square stayed at your sides for the next two days. Five saw how his constant presence was getting on your nerves, you needed time alone and he was denying you that out of jealousy. 

Five was scribbling into his notebook when you walked up to him, definitely pissed off. Your hands were closed into tight fists and you huffed as you let yourself fall onto the couch next to him. You lifted your feet onto the cushion and hugged your knees. 

He wanted to reach out for you so much, although it was clear that you needed your space. He waited for you to start the conversation, apprehension eating at him. 

“They say ‘You can’t just give up on someone because the situation is not ideal. Great relationships aren’t great because they have no problems. They’re great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work.’” You took a deep breath before turning your head to meet his eyes. “I want to make us work. Like we always did." 

Five’s heart stopped. Not in agony this time, but in relief. Happiness overwhelmed his senses and quickly, he reached for you to pull you against his chest and keep you close while tears fell from his eyes as the stress lifted from his shoulder. Your arms snaked their way around his waist and for a moment, he let himself melt under your touch that he needed for so long now. 

"I love you.” He whispered the words he so desperately wanted to tell you in the 60s. 

“I love you too.” You snuggled deeper into his neck, your hot breath on his skin giving him goosebumps. “Thank you." 

"For what?” He frowned, genuinely wondering why you were thanking him. 

“You stopped the apocalypse, Five. You gave so much to save the world.” You pulled away, smiling at him brightly. “Thank you." 

Five realised that he was never thanked before for anything he had done for anyone. His composure melted and more tears ran down his face, the very first acknowledgement of his actions and sacrifices hitting him right in the feels. 

"I’d do it all again for you.” He replied with a broken voice, his throat constricted and tears drowning him. 

You pulled him into your chest after letting your feet fall on the floor, where he cried out of relief that you were still with him and out of exhaustion of everything he went through so that he could ensure that you and his family were safe.

[anna-justice]

Lost or Found - 24

Summary: As Jay, Hailey, Kim, Adam and Kevin start their junior year in the wake of a tragic summer, the past year of their lives comes back to haunt them. If you enjoyed Pretty Little Liars, this is for you! *UPSTEAD/BURZEK High School AU

...

24 - Evermore  ...

“Your dad should have killed you when he had the chance…”

Hailey whimpered, her eyes clenched shut and beads of sweat appearing on her forehead.

“So you want to play hero one more time?” 

She flinched in her sleep, her heart beating out of her chest, so fast that she thought it was going to explode. 

“That works for me.” 

Hailey shot up, screaming. The last thing she saw was the barrel of a gun. She clawed at her chest, trying to get a good breath. “Hailey?” Someone yelled, and then right after, her Aunt appeared in front of her. “Hailey, it’s okay.” Trudy reached out to grab her hand, but Hailey pulled it back, looking at her with scared eyes. 

It had been a month since she had heard those words muttered aloud, but they plagued her dreams frequently. 

The two weeks following that day, all five of them took turns rotating through the police station. Everyday there were new questions, more people to explain things to, more statements to clarify, it was never ending. Then, it just stopped. There was nothing else they could do, they had to wait for trial. And in the meantime, Erin was placed in a psychiatric hold facility, and her lawyers were defending her actions as a symptom as psychosis.

It bothered them all, that technically she was free, all because they could blame her attempted murder on a psychotic break. Especially when Kelly Severide was looking at time. A few days after, two detectives showed up at Hailey’s house, wanting a full recount of the last five months, and that included the night that she was attacked. When Severide was questioned, he had no alibi and he confessed to strangling Hailey. His excuse was that he was threatened the same way that the rest of them were, only in person. He claimed that he knew Erin was alive the whole time, but she threatened to kill his mom and sister if he didn’t cooperate. 

Unfortunately, the only way to corroborate the story for a jury is to prove Erin mentally competent, meaning she was capable of carrying out her threats. To all involved, even Kelly, it was clear that she knew what she was doing, she was a mastermind, but to everyone on the outside, they were just a bunch of teenagers wrapped up in a murder. 

The girl that everyone thought was Erin still hadn’t been identified, they had to dig up the casket for the second time. The only way they were able to ID it the first time was by the previous fracture and bracelet, but there are a lot of people in the Chicago area that have broken their left wrist. 

So, with no new information and the date for the trial to begin still months away, they all lived life normally. Well, as normal as it could be after everything they went through. And normal for Hailey meant waking up every night screaming. 

Trudy looked at her husband, who was standing in the doorway. They shared a look, a very familiar one. They repeated the same steps every night, like some cruel rehearsed dance. Trudy waited patiently for Hailey to calm down, just seated on the floor next to her. “Hailey, sweetie, you’re safe.” She repeated. 

Every night it was the same, Hailey would snap out of whatever daze she was in and apologize profusely. “I’m sorry, I got scared…” She started.

“Shhh,” Trudy said, placing a hand on her leg, “It’s okay.” 

Hailey nodded, swallowing hard. “I’m good, you all can go back to sleep.” She said, glancing at her uncle. 

Trudy just nodded, she learned many nights ago not to fight her on it, “Alright. Goodnight Hailey, we love you.” She said, squeezing her shoulder. 

“Love you too.” Hailey said, watching them retreat back to their room. They left the door open like they always did, Hailey sighed rolling over and grabbing her phone. She sent a quick text to her boyfriend. 

Hailey:      :(

It was a system that they started a few weeks ago. The first few nights Jay would stay up with her on the phone, or she would call him after Trudy and Randy finally left, but the lack of sleep began to play a part in their relationship. So, they decided that every time Hailey had a nightmare (or Jay, he wasn’t clean of them) they would text the other a frowny face, so that in the morning they would know what the other had gone through the night before without having to talk about it. It has proved to be useful.

Hailey laid down again, willing herself to close her eyes, but she couldn’t. Sleep was too vulnerable, so she laid there awake, just waiting for the sun to rise on (hopefully) a better day. 

…

“What do you mean you haven’t picked out a costume?” Kim asked, as Jay slammed his door shut. Like every morning, they were all crowded around his truck, waiting until the last minute to head to class. The gossip still hadn’t died down, they were still the topic of every conversation, so they avoided it as much as they could. 

Hailey shrugged. “I thought we weren’t dressing up.” She said, looking up at her boyfriend, who nodded in agreement. Halloween was tomorrow, and of course Kim had plans for all of them.

“No, I said we weren’t dressing up as the characters from scooby doo…” Kim said, giving Adam a pointed look. 

Adam held up his hands in surrender, “Like I said, I’m sorry, it’s too soon.” He said, stifling a laugh. 

Kevin rolled his eyes, “Yeah, you all know I’d have to be scooby. And I’m not dressing up like a dog.” He snapped. 

“But Kev,” Adam said, faking a frown. “I thought you were my dawg.” Kevin glared at him, faking a punch as Adam jumped back. 

“Anyway,” Kim started, looking back at Hailey and Jay, and ignoring the antics behind her. “I promised Stella we would all be at her party tomorrow night, you guys will be the only people without a costume.” 

Hailey sighed, “Kim, we will get costumes, I promise.” Kim opened her mouth, but the warning bell cut her off. Hailey smiled, grabbing Jay’s hand. “We’ll see you guys later.” She said, before pulling him away. 

“Please tell me you have costume ideas,” Jay said quietly. 

“Nope.” They rounded the corner, Jay leaning down and stealing a kiss before they entered their classroom. Criminal justice was a little harder to sit through than it was before, but somehow Jay had managed to get his grade up. 

They took their normal seats in the back of the class, waiting for the teacher to begin. “I have an idea,” Jay said, leaning on his hand. 

“Okay?” Hailey said cautiously. 

“I’ll be a firefighter, and you be a Dalmatian.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows. 

Hailey scoffed, “No.” 

“Okay. You be the firefighter and I’ll be the Dalmatian.” He said, smirking.

Hailey shook her head, “Try again.” Jay fake pouted, retreating back to his half of the shared desk. 

Finally, their teacher decided to start class, cutting their conversation off for the time being. After about 30 minutes of notes, he passed out an assignment, leaving them to work on their own. Jay turned to face her, smiling. “I’ve got another idea.” He said, Hailey gave him a pointed look. “Squints and the lifeguard from the sandlot.” 

“Why? So every time someone asks us who we are you get to lay on the ground and make me kiss you?” She questioned. 

“Exactly.” He deadpanned. 

“Jay-”

“Okay, okay.” He said, laughing. He loved it when she got all riled up. “Peter Pan and Tinkerbell, cause you’re so short-”

“Jay!” She said, smacking his bicep. 

He laughed harder, “Okay, in all seriousness...we can be Jack and Rose from the titanic…” He watched Hailey’s face slowly morph into slight agreeance, “And Kev could be the iceberg.” 

“I’m done with you.” Hailey said shortly, stifling her own laugh. 

Jay laughed at his own joke, watching his girlfriend pretend to be aggravated with him. “You love me, you know it.” 

“Unfortunately…” Hailey said under her breath. She took a deep breath, “What about Danny and Sandy from Grease?” 

Jay smirked, “You in leather pants? Perfect.” 

“You’re hopeless.” 

…

The next day, Hailey sat in Kim’s bedroom getting ready. They had about an hour before the boys were supposed to come pick them up. Kim and Adam were going as Romeo and Juliet, while Hailey and Jay had finally settled on Rapunzel and Flynn Rider. Kevin had grouped up with some of the boys from his team, they were going as zombie football players, very original…

“Kim, you’re going to have to do this.” Hailey said, laughing in defeat. 

Kim smiled, taking over for her. She was waiting for her to ask for help, she’d been struggling to french braid her hair for almost twenty minutes. “I got it.” They sat there for a while in silence, Kim carefully laying pieces of blonde hair over the others, she glanced at Hailey in the mirror, noticing the blank look on her face. “How are you doing?”

Hailey’s head snapped up to meet her eyes, she caught her off guard. “Uh,” She shrugged, “I’m okay, I guess…” 

Kim scoffed, shaking her head. “I’ve said that word so many times recently that I’m not even sure it’s a word anymore.” 

“Yeah…” Hailey said, letting her thoughts wander. “I get that.” And she did, it was like she used the word as a shield. It was her response to everything, and she wasn’t okay, not that it was really a secret. None of them were okay, but saying it made it feel like they were. And deception was something worth clinging onto. 

“You know, we never talked about-” 

“We don’t need to.” Hailey said, cutting her off. 

Kim eyed her cautiously, “Okay.” She wanted to talk, but she didn’t feel like she had any right to push Hailey to. Not after what happened. “Done.” She said, a few minutes later, taking a step back to admire her work.

“Thanks,” Hailey said with a genuine smile, picking up the jar of flower clips they had bought that morning. “You think I should just put these everywhere?” 

Kim nodded, “Yeah, I think so.” She reached down, clicking shuffle on a playlist, a random Taylor Swift song playing. They were both done talking. 

An hour later, the two of them were sitting in Kim’s kitchen talking to her mom when Jay and Adam arrived. Adam just let himself in the front door, Jay choked on a laugh as he waltzed in like he owned the place. 

The boys appeared in the kitchen, “Honey, I’m home.” He said, passing Kim and hugging her mom. Kim rolled her eyes as they all laughed, Jay’s hand finding Hailey’s back like it always did. He was so happy, even though life was still crazy, he was ridiculously happy. Watching Hailey smile and Adam joke around like he used to (before they used it as a distraction) was so nice, and familiar and just so damn good. 

Hailey peered up at him, grinning as he pecked her lips. “Alright, let’s get a picture so you all can get out of here.” Claire said, ushering them together. Jay stood next to Adam, both of them holding their girlfriends securely against their waists. They all smiled brightly, relaxing after the click. 

They quickly bid their goodbyes, making their way out to Jay’s truck. Hailey slid easily into the passenger seat, despite her nude heels (that she was already regretting), while Adam and Kim got in the back. They pulled out of the driveway, and somehow Adam ended up with aux cord. Somewhere in between an old Maroon 5 song and the Weekend, Jay’s hand found hers on the center console. 

Hailey looked down at it and smiled. It was a simple thing that they did every single time they rode together, but it really symbolized how much things had changed. Hailey thought back to the day that he kept his eyes trained on the road, back when she cut him off when he tried to apologize. It was only two months ago, but they were different, everything was different, everything was better. 

 Jay followed her gaze to their conjoined hands, mimicking her smile. She didn’t have to say anything, he knew exactly what she was thinking. Part of him wishes he could go back and stay with her then, he felt like they had wasted so much time, but the other part of him knew that they were better for it. Neither of them were ready for what they have now, then. And what they have was worth the wait. 

Finally they reached their destination, Jay having the park pretty far away due to how many people were already there. They got out, Jay rounding the truck to help Hailey down, even though she hadn’t needed it in a long time. The four of them headed towards the decent sized house, they could hear the music thumping from outside. Hailey slipped her hand in Jay’s, gripping his forearm. 

Jay noticed the look of discomfort on her face, leaning down. “Hey, you okay?” He asked, eying her. 

Hailey nodded, holding on a little tighter. “Yeah, just don’t want to get lost in the crowd.” Jay nodded, believing her lie. She couldn’t really explain it, but she had a terrible feeling in her stomach and the thought of being lost in a sea of people made her want to throw up. Even though it was over, Hailey still found herself looking over her shoulder and watching out for her. And even though all of that meant she was nowhere near being in a party mood, she wasn’t going to bring everyone else down, they all needed a fun night. 

They made their way through the crowded makeshift dance floor, and found Kevin in a living area near the back of the house where he was sitting with Stella, Conner, Matt and Sylvie. “Hey guys,” He called, jumping up and clapping Adam’s back. 

Stella stood, hugging Kim tightly, “I’m glad you guys could make it.” 

Kim squeezed her, “Me too.”

Stella backed away, touching Hailey’s arm affectionately and giving her a kind smile that she returned. “I know it’s kind of crazy,” Stella laughed, “If you need something or just a break, the keys to the upstairs doors are hidden right under the doors, just inside the rooms.” She glanced at the obvious couples, winking. “I trust you guys.” 

They all nodded, Kim blushing, a chorus of “great” and “thanks” sounding. The group dispersed, the five of them huddling up. “Obviously Hailey and I are gonna stick together, if we get lost, meet back here at midnight and we’ll head out?” Jay suggested.

“Sounds good,” Kev said, nodding.

Adam agreed too. “That works for me.” 

That works for me…

Hailey flinched at those words, instinctively squeezing her eyes shut. Her breath caught in her throat. The image of a pulled gun flashing through her brain. She grimaced, trying to push the thoughts away. “Hailes…” She took another deep breath, doing everything in her power to keep her fear at bay. “Hailes.” Someone said, harsher, snapping her out of her daze. 

“Yeah?” She asked quickly. 

Kim eyed her cautiously, “I asked if you wanted a water…”

“Oh,” Hailey shook her head, “No, I’m good, thanks though.” She watched as Kim and Adam slowly disappeared into the crowd, her eyebrowed cinched together. 

Jay stepped in front of her, blocking her view of the rest of the room, “Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, concern clear in his bright green eyes. 

Hailey nodded vigorously, “I’m good, I promise.” She said, his face didn’t change. He didn’t believe her. Hailey reached up, pulling him to her level and attaching their lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she deepened it, pulling him even closer. Jay did his best not to get lost in the kiss, but with her it was so hard. She pulled away slowly, peering up at him. “Jay, I’m okay.” Kim was right, it didn’t sound like a word anymore. 

Jay sighed, admitting defeat. “Okay.” He laced their hands together, leaning down and kissing her slowly before guiding her to the dance floor. They stood near the edge, Jay’s hand sitting on her hips as they swayed in sync to the fast music. They danced for a while before some of Jay’s teammates interrupted them. 

Hailey stood securely at his side as they spoke, absently listening to the trashy rap music that was playing loudly throughout the room. “Fuck, shit, bitch…” The sound of a gun being cocked rang through the speakers and Hailey screamed. Suddenly the eyes of everyone around her staring at her. She was frozen in place, forcing the terrible memories away, but she couldn’t. 

“Hailey.” Jay said, but her feet had a mind of their own and she was running towards the staircase, her lungs burning, she couldn’t get in a good breath. “Hailey!” Jay called after her, not even bothering to say goodbye to his team before taking off. 

Hailey booked it up the stairs, dropping to the ground in front of the first door she saw, grasping aimlessly for the key. She slumped against the door, tears streaming down her face as she fought to breathe. Jay booked it towards her, crouching down and finding the key easily. He unlocked the door, then swept his hysterical girlfriend off the floor, carrying her into the room and setting her on the bed. She was still heaving in front of him, and Jay placed two hands on either side of her face. “Hailey, Hailey look at me.” He said, but her eyes stayed trained on his chest. “Baby, you’re safe, look at me, please.” She clenched her eyes shut, more tears falling down her face. When she opened them again, they met his and she launched herself into his arms. 

Jay held her to him, rocking them gently as she cried into his neck. “I-I thought-” She stuttered, sobs wracking her body. 

“I know, I know.” He said, trying to calm her. 

“I thought it was over…” She said, and Jay felt his heart clench in his chest. 

He ran his hand through her braided hair, no doubt destroying it. “It is, it’s all over, you’re safe. We’re safe.” For some reason that made her cry harder, maybe because she hadn’t for the past month, she had been bottling up her feelings to protect herself and everyone else. Because even though she was, she hadn’t felt safe in a long time. 

Hailey pulled away after a long time, utterly exhausted. Jay couldn’t take the look of defeat on her safe, she looked so tired, so broken, that it scared him. How could he not have known how much pain she was in? 

She couldn’t bear to look at him, so she kept her gaze fixed on her lap. He placed his hand on her thigh, and Hailey laid one on top of it. She sniffled, using her free hand to wipe the never ending tears from her eyes. “I’m okay.”

…

The following Monday, Hailey sat in the passenger seat of Jay’s truck. After the events of Saturday night, Jay had no choice but to loop in Trudy and Randall, he had to after he had failed to do so before. They spent the rest of the weekend convincing Hailey to see someone, to talk about everything they had been through. 

It was probably the trauma left over from her parents, but the stigma that therapy made you weak was ingrained in Hailey’s mind, and convincing her to make an appointment was no easy task. 

That’s how they ended up sitting in the parking lot of a private practice right after school, Hailey’s leg bouncing nervously up and down. Jay lifted their intertwined hands off the center console, kissing the back of hers. “I’m going to be here waiting, all I ask is that you go in there and try.” He said, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. 

Hailey smiled softly, nodding. She leaned across the console and kissed him slowly, hoping that she was able to portray just how much love she had for him and trust she had in him through it. Jay pulled away, taking her in. “I love you, Hailey Upton.” 

“I love you, Jay Halstead.” She said. 

“Now, go kick some ass.” He said and she laughed, opening the truck door. She shut it, giving him one last look before walking inside the doors. 

She sat down in one of the waiting room chairs after signing in, a few minutes later an older man with big glasses popped his head out of the back. “Hailey?” 

She stood, “Yes sir.”

The man smiled, “Come with me.” He led her back to an office, gesturing for her to sit on the couch while he sat in the chair across from her. “I’m Dr. Charles, but you can call me Daniel or Dan, or really whatever makes you comfortable.” He explained. 

Hailey nodded, shifting nervously. “So, how does this work?” She asked.

“However you want it to, we can talk or not talk about anything you want.” He said, leaning back in his chair. 

“Okay,” Hailey glanced at the ground, “The-There’s a lot…” 

“That’s okay.” 

Hailey grimaced, finally looking at him. “Where do I start?” She asked.

Dr. Charles smiled. “How about the beginning?”

Hailey sighed, taking a few deep breaths, ready to start confronting all the demons that she had been fighting for so long. 

“Tell me everything.”

...

A/N: This is long but please, please, please read it!!

First, this is the end of this story, but it is not THE end! There will be a sequel and if you want to see a sneak peak, you can find it HERE. I am so so excited to continue exploring this version of these characters, and don’t worry, the next installment will be just as exciting as this one! 

Second, thank you so so so so much to everyone who has shown love to and supported this story. It really means the world to me, you have no idea. This has been such an amazing experience and I have learned so much from writing this, so thank you so much for reading. You guys are truly incredible, and writing has helped me through a tough time in my life. I’m going to say thank you a million time, but thank you, thank you, thank you <3

This story evolved so much lol: in the beginning I had no plan, and then it changed like five times, and we ended up here, so here’s a few things that didn’t make it in.

Nadia was supposed to die in chapter 19, but I decided against it…

I debated Kevin and Stella getting together, don’t hate me for this ahaha

I almost made Kim lose her hearing, but I wasn’t sure I could do the storyline justice with everything else going on

I debated killing Adam (I’M SORRY, i’m sorry…)

And finally (cause you don’t need to know all of my secrets) I ALMOST broke up Upstead at the end

Anyway, there’s some behind the scenes action if you’re interested. 

Back to the point: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUPPORTING ME AND THIS STORY, I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, and i cannot wait to embark on this next journey together!!

So much love,

Anna

@lissethsrojas @puckluck28 @fuckyeahkillianemma @chilly7188 @thebigapocalypsewolf @karihighman @ruzek-halstead @anotheronechicagobog @snowwhite013 @tracysupton @angelsjedi @carissalizz​

[rint4rous]

hogwarts au! oikawa

a/n: wrote this with a bad headache LMAO so if you see mistakes no you didnt <3

yeah help

anyway

oikawa toru

sixth year slytherin

captain of slytherin quidditch team

this one. very popular with the girls.

always gets gifts and confessed to, he turns them all down nicely tho

he flirts with them a little but never goes out with anyone

thanks but no thanks, hes focusing on quidditch

mostly hangs out with hanamaki, matsukawa, and iwaizumi

you, sixth year gryffindor

a chaser for the quidditch team

actually you and oikawa had a bit of a rivalry thing going on

because oikawa was getting good grades AND is good at quidditch

and it doesnt even look like hes trying.

and he lowkey comes off as arrogant sometimes

and youre like i hate geniuses

the two of you met during first year when he tried playfully hitting iwa in the hallway but iwa dodged

and you happen to be speedwalking past and then next thing you know you get slapped???

you stop walking and turn to oikawa

hes like HOLY CRAPDFHJSHJR

“I AM SO SORRY-”

“it’s alright!”

“are you sure??”

“yeah, it was an accident, right? …. unless it wasnt?”

“NO I SWEAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT”

“i thought so! see you ‘round!”

then you skip away

yeah. yall dont really start competing and shit until you found out your mom and his mom had BEEF??? WHEN THEY WERE IN SCHOOL????

you found that out at the end of first year

“i heard tachibana’s son is in your year. or i guess she’s oikawa now.”

youre like yeah what about it

“my dearest y/n, you’re a smart little girl, okay?”

“so make sure you’re better than that oikawa kid, alright?”

and little innocent you is like “ok”

so start of second year, you study and work extra hard

but here’s perfect little oikawa who always knocks you down to second place

at first youre like. i’ll just work harder!

and he joins quidditch and so do you

so you try hard at that too

you’re not like a sore loser or anything so when slytherin wins you shake his hand with a smile

but by the end of the year you’re just kinda :/ now because you never see him studying or practicing spells so how the fuck is he BETTER THAN YOU AT EVERYTHING!!! ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!

third year you come into school with like not very good feelings abt oikawa

and your mom was on your ass about your grades and you’re like omfggg im TRYING OKAY IM TRYING SO HARD

too bad tho thats when he starts liking you …

middle of third year is when you start expressing those feelings for oikawa out loud

“i hate self-centered geniuses. come back down to earth, will you.”

he heard you say when test results came back

and hes like is she talking abt me? lol nah shes probably talking about stupid ushijima over there

and then he finds out you were in fact talking abt him

hes kinda hurt lol

then when the new term rolls in

and the two of you just start talking shit about each other and start arguing all the time

“what’s the answer, l/n?”

“fairy wings.”

“oh my bad, i didn’t realize she said oikawa, and not l/n.”

“oh sorry, i thought you wouldn’t know the answer so i answered for you! i saved you from embarrassing yourself. you’re welcome~”

your seatmate yaku was holding you down with all his might and HOW IS LITTLE MAN ABLE TO HOLD YOU BACK HIS GRIP IS STRONG BRO

the whole class s ighs here we go AGAIN

the teacher doesnt even bother sending you guys out to hall anymore because this happens so much

you always try to sabotage each other in potions

one time his eyebrows almost burned off after his potion exploded in his face

makki and mattsun like LMFAOWFEHERGUYER

then when the year ends you’re like ranting to your mom like “i hate geniuses. who does he think he is? just because he can beat me at everything?? i’ll show him. i’ll make him eat dirt in the field. i’ll wipe that dumb smirk off his face. i’ll-”

your mom: omg my little baby so full of hate just like her momma

fourth year you’re so determined to beat oikawa at something

he sees you in the library, unprovoked, once and he comes up from behind you like

“aw, is l/n gonna try beating me again this year? you know there’s no point in trying.”

you: hold it in hold it in hold it in YOU’RE MATURE NOW Y/N L/N. YOU SHOULD BE MORE MATURE THAN THIS DIMWIT IN FRONT OF YOU. inhale exhale inhale exhale

“aw, is oikawa gonna try beating ushiwaka in quidditch again this year? you know there’s no point in trying.”

way to be mature

poor oikawa tho you pressed a wrong button so he just leaves silently

you kinda regret it after

so this year goes like the last and so does the next

“arent you tired?? of competing with oikawa all the time??” your friend semi asked you

“kind of”

“then stop?? you dont have to fulfill your mom’s high school revenge lmao”

“ughh eita i know but im too far in”

one time you were out breaking curfew #savage

no but seriously you couldn’t sleep so you thought some fresh air will help, the dorms were super suffocating right now

you were stressed after your mom’s monthly letter

beat oikawa this beat oikawa that

you turn at a corner and you see the man himself, ALSO BREAKING CURFEW

now the both of you are looking at each other like 👁👄👁

“GOD L/N I THOUGHT YOU WERE A TEACHER I NEARLY DIED FROM A HEART ATTACK”

“shush before we both get caught”

“right sorry sorry”

“so what the hell are you doing breaking curfew.”

“what are you doing breaking curfew.”

“i asked you first”

“so?”

“just answer the question, oikawa.”

he looks around, making sure the coast was clear before he motions you over to him and as you walk towards him

you see the door hes standing in front of

he drags you in there and what you see is

a bunch of practice dummies

“yeah i,, practice my spells here at night. contrary to popular belief i’m not a genius like ushiwaka or tobio. i’m flattered you think so, though.”

and youre like he... actually practices?? he is actually human?

“what’s with that look? you wanna join me practice at night?”

“as if-” and then you see the book of spells and you guys aren’t even learning any of this YET. and you are determined not to fall behind oikawa “sure.”

oikawas like pardon?

you: i SAID SURE.

and so now at night you practice spells together

only because you want to beat him as if

the arguing goes down a little because you get caught up in beating each other at who gets to do the spell right first that practice runs super late sometimes and you dont have energy to fight with each other that early

everybodys like ??? huh????

but then you’re back to the usual bs in the afternoon and everybodys like oh okay so the world isnt ending yet

so anyway !! yall are practicing again

you’re pointing your wand at a practice dummy and trying to focus so you dont accidentally do something dumb

"hey why do you hate me so much?”

LITERALLY CATCHES YOU OFF GUARD AND BREAKS YOUR FOCUS

“it’s not because i hit you when we were first years right? it really was an accident i swear-”

“you still remember that?”

“well yeah… because i cant think of any other reason why you don’t like me.”

“um… trying too hard to please my mom, i guess. what about you? why did you try so hard to beat me at everything?” you ask, regaining your focus for the charm

“idk, you never paid attention to me unless i did.”

you scoff, “why? you don’t like me or anything, do you?”

“i do tho??”

he literally said that just before you chanted the spell and you got caught off guard and

“stupefy!”

it almost hits oikawa

oikawa: WHAT DID I DO

you: SHITHEAD DONT SAY THAT WHEN IM ABOUT TO DO SOMETHFIBEFH

“HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN???”

“I DONT KNOW IT WAS FUN COMPETING WITH YOU WHEN WE WERE SECOND YEARS AND IT JUST DID?? I TRIED SO HARD SO I CAN IMPRESS YOU AND I GUESS MY PLAN BACKFIRED BECAUSE I DONT THINK YOU LIKE ME VERY MUCH”

now youre staring at each other and you’re both red

he kinda quiets down “and you’re a better rival than ushijima anyway. i don’t mean any of the stuff i said, i swear. i know you don’t like me but i just needed to let that out or i will go insane.”

and hes just looking down all shy

at this point you actually dont know if you like oikawa or not

i mean??? you spent like 3 years butting heads with this dude

and he liked you the whole time?? hes crazy this man is crazy.

maybe you were just in denial the whole time

because?? you could’ve stopped competing with him at everything

maybe you did enjoy it somehow

he did make your life at school interesting

“let’s go out on a few dates and we’ll see.”

his head just whips up and his eyes like light up and hes so EXCITED

in the time before you officially started dating

you find out from iwaizumi that even tho he smiles at a lot of girls its actually rarely genuine the only girl hes ever seen oikawa smile about genuinely was you

and that his mom actually didnt approve of him playing quidditch at first because he had a bad knee but he pushed for it because he really wanted to

he has like a smug and a flippant demeanor but hes very attentive and super caring !!

hes super passionate and hard working at what he does and

i guess now you finally realize you are falling

it takes five dates until the two of you officially start going out

if you tell third year you that you were dating oikawa she would never believe it but here you are, walking to class with him

when the two of you walked in the classroom talking

like TALKING NORMALLY AND NOT THE USUAL “i will choke you in your sleep” “ooh, kinda k-” “don’t”

it was already sus when the arguing toned down a bit but now that its like. REALLY GONE?? everybody is so confused

LMFAO matsukawa asks like “what happened?? are you guys broken?”

“no???”

“how rude! dearest y/n and i are dating now!”

everybody in this class: see now thats crazy. that is crazy.

makki: maybe we didnt hear him right. say that again oikawa

oikawa: me and y/n are dating.

everybody: oh okay bc we thought you said you and l/n were dat- WAIT SO YOU AND L/N REALLY ARE TOGETHER??? 

you: unfortunately

oikawa: h-hey :((((

everybody: SO WE DONT GOTTA LISTEN TO YALL ARGUE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING??? YOU HAVE TO TREAT THE WHOLE CLASS TO BUTTERBEER I THINK WE DESERVE IT AFTER THESE THREE YEARS OF CONSTANT YELLING

nobody was as SHOCKED as your moms

“y/n, baby, i know i did not just hear you say you’re dating the oikawa kid. repeat that for momma again.”

“i’m dating the oikawa kid.”

like?? MOM THIS WAS TECHNICALLY UR FAULT

“so toru, what did you wanna tell me?”

“i have a girlfriend now! her name is y/n l/n.”

“l/n? surely not THAT l/n’s daughter, right?”

“oh it is that l/n.”

when your families have dinner together for the first time

THE TENSION LMFAO

but they do try hard to get along. they try super hard.

they start getting along because MAN YOU AND OIKAWA WERE SOO CUTE AND THEY WANT YOU TO GET MARRIED AND THEY HAVE TO GET ALONG IF THEY WANT IT TO HAPPEN. THEIR GRANDKIDS ARE GONNA BE SO CUTE!!!

“ma, we haven’t graduated yet-”

your mom, ignoring you: THEYRE GOING TO HAVE THE CUTEST HAIR

oikawa’s mom: AND THEY’RE GOING TO BE SUPER SMART LIKE THEIR PARENTS!

your mom: AND WE’LL BE THE BEST GRANDMAS.

momma oiks: PERIOD!

steals your books from you in the halls so he can carry it for you

you tease each other with pet names and shit???

he’ll try to kiss your cheek in the hall but iwa grabs the back of his robe and pulls him away “you’re gross”

“you’re just jealous iwa!!”

when your houses arent playing each other, he goes to your games and vice versa!

tries to distract you in the field

“hey beautiful”

“toru don’t or i will make iwa knock you off your broom.”

“you're so mean”

so anyways yall r couple goals

"listen well, kindaichi, kunimi, your senior is showing you how to get girls.”

kunimi, without looking up from his book: what are you gonna teach us? accidentally slap the girl and get her to hate you for three years while you secretly pine over her during that time before confessing that you liked her the whole time and you go out on five dates and officially start dating? too much work

oikawa: LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT

[evermorehaikyuu]

Day 27

Title: Accident

Note: I realized I’ve done accidents in this month more than once and usually they’ve all died, but not in this case. This is deathless, and perhaps if I was a good writer, it’d hurt more. N e ways, enjoy the angst. (Lowkey wanna make a part 2 and make it fluffy, hmmm maybe, after a whole month of angst, fluff is well deserved)

˜”*°•.˜”*°•.•°*”˜.•°*”˜

Konoha Akinori was a man of many talents. He was also someone that did not let his heart be broken easily. Heartbreak, though, was something that almost no one could stop, unless they had no emotions whatsoever. But the love in his eyes when he looked at Y/N was unmistakable. He’d do anything for her, he was absolutely whipped for her. Every single day he’d make sure that she was okay and if she needed space, he gave her space.

He was basically everything anyone could ever ask for. Now the question is where did everything go wrong?

Maybe both of them were bound to blow up. Or actually one of them and Konoha was in the way. It hurt him, it did, it hurt him to see Y/N in this way, but what hurt him more was seeing Y/N explode on him. She had tried all day not to say anything, but it seemed as if the sight of him was the trigger. 

“Hey, Y/N--” Konoha started, startled when Y/N whipped around to face him, a dark shadow looming on her face. She shook her head and turned back around, not saying anything to him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she grunted, trying not to get mad at him for no reason. He hadn’t done anything and she’d be ungrateful if she said something rude to him. How long could she keep the mask on though? 

“Don’t tell me it’s nothing when you’re not even looking at me in the eye.” Konoha said gently, striding over to her to take her hands. “Talk to me.”

Ripping her hands out of his, she glared up at him. “There’s nothing for me to say, I’m fine.”

“Y/N--”

“No! I don’t want to say anything more so just respect my wishes! Don’t stay any closer to me, I just want to be alone.” Y/N exclaimed before biting her lip. Konoha was there to help her out and she was pushing him away, even though he was trying his hardest to be a good boyfriend. It failed because she wouldn’t let him.

“Y/N, why do we always end up like this?” Konoha asked impatiently. He was done, he tried his best to help but was sick of being pushed away every single time. “I keep trying to help you, but you never let me. Even if I do something, you’ll still look at me like I’m not your main character, like I’m someone that you don’t even know?”

“Konoha. Just. Go.”

“So that’s it? You basically don’t care for me even though I’ve told you hundreds of times how much I love you.” Konoha hugged himself, staring at the floor before looking at the back of her head. “And every time...every time, you’ve never said it. Not once. And you don’t feel anything?” Konoha sighed, shaking his head. “Fine. I’m not saying anything more, but I really do love you. I hope you finally realize that someday.”

At hearing the door shut, Y/N bit her lip, regretting everything. He had tried everything in his power to stay with her, even though she was hard to get through. Maybe she would go after him, maybe not. Instead, she stayed alone in the room, hugging herself. However, she would regret pushing him away for the next three years.

She looked at her phone and saw at least 65 calls and over 100 messages from the Fukurodani team. The one she noticed was from Sarukui and she clapped her hand over her mouth at the sight.

Konoha was run over by a car. He’s at the hospital and unconscious.

Racing to put on something presentable and giving up and just grabbing his hoodie, she grabbed her keys and sprinted out of her house. Public transportation was awful, she was practically bouncing up and down in place, desperate to get to him for any sign that he was going to make it out alive. 

The moments she had alone with herself on the train were the ones that attacked her like bullets. What if he had lived? What if she didn’t push him away? What if both of them were at her house and doing something? Now she wouldn’t know because she had done something despicable and because of her, he may not come back alive. 

The hospital was full of white walls, yet the atmosphere was filled with trepid anticipation. The antiseptic made her dizzy, she knew that the smell of it would linger in her nostrils long after she was gone. What she didn’t know was that the aroma would also haunt her in her nightmares for the next few years. 

Once getting the room where Konoha was in, she started shaking as she got on the elevator. Thirteenth floor. The superstition made her feel worse about his fate. The guilt that came along with it was agonizing. The doctors did not let her inside, even though she pleaded multiple times to be able to go inside. Nothing. 

So that’s what it felt like when she pushed Konoha away.

“Please just let me go inside and see him, I need to see him!” She screamed, her nails raking down a guard’s chest. “LET ME SEE KONOHA!”

The nurse said gently, “Please, miss, wait and you will be the first one to know of his results. Let us do what we have to do and if necessary for him to go into surgery, we will let you know.”

Oh, how much pain would she have to suffer next? It felt like everything was laughing at her. He did not have to go into surgery but the doctors were murmuring to each other and some of them even stole glances at her through the window. 

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. 

And then it was over. The doctors came out of the room and she tried to look at Konoha. One of the doctors allowed her to see through the window and she pressed her hands against the glass, peering at him through the thick glass. 

Konoha was there, his eyes closed and his mouth also shut. She wished to push back the stray bangs on his face, knowing that he would always wake up whenever she did it then go back to sleep. He didn’t move, nothing. Not even a little twitch. But somehow, there was the tiniest smile on his face. It was very small and it gave her hope that he would make it out alive, make a silly pick up line and hop out of bed. There was a catch to all of this, however, and she knew it. 

“Konoha….” Y/N said, gulping. “How is he?”

“He’s in a coma.”

There it was.

~

For the next three years, Y/N came back to Konoha’s side in his room, taking his hand. No sign of him moving at all. She always pushed his hair back, stroking it slowly while whispering small things to him. Sometimes she’d talk about stuff that she had done that day and other times, she’d walk in and stare at him for hours at a time.

The second year, on a Saturday, she came back and started singing something to him that only both of them knew. It was a song Konoha had made up on a whim and she had added to it, it was their song. Only they knew it and they used to sing it to each other when the other couldn’t sleep. 

It went like that for the next year and a half and there was no end in sight. Y/N held his hand close to her heart and sucked in a breath. “Hey….today was our--” She swallowed. “My graduation. I wish you were there. Komi, Bokuto, Sarukui and Washio were there and so was Akaashi. Konoha...Akinori….” A sob rose out of her and she placed her forehead on his chest, barely hearing his heart. 

The doctors always made sure he was still alive but the fact that he never woke up, that his hand never made its way to her hair hurt more than anything. 

Then suddenly, she was called by the hospital. Four words. The four words that brought her hopes up, drop everything and make her way to the hospital, a giddy smile on her face. 

Konoha is waking up.

She raced from her job, her heart racing. Three long years without him, three years just sitting at his bedside and singing softly to him, three years going everywhere and worrying about Konoha. 

Three years of being alone.

Konoha is waking up.

He’s going to be okay.

Once she got to the hospital, she sprinted past the receptionist’s desk and went up to his room, already memorizing the map of the hospital and his room. Pushing the door open, there was only one doctor there and he looked up at her with a grimace, wincing. “Miss--”

“Akinori?” Y/N ran to Konoha’s side, pushing his hair back as his eyelids slowly opened and his hand started twitching. At a snail’s pace, his eyelids opened fully and his head lolled, looking at her with blank eyes. Her heart sped up as she reached down for his limp hand and staring into his eyes. “Hey...look at me...you’re awake, Akinori, you’re finally--”

“Who are you?” He asked, genuine confusion on his face. 

Y/N stared at him for a moment before looking at the doctor with concern. “Doctor? What--?”

“I’m sorry. He’s lost all of his memories except for his name.”

Y/N let go of Konoha’s hand, breathing heavily before she started hyperventilating. She only looked back at Konoha, who was gazing at her curiously, before going into his bathroom and screaming, loud sobs coming out of her as she gripped her hair. The words kept bouncing around her mind, driving her insane.

All those years together. All the love she had for him. The last words she had ever told him. Everything.

Everything was gone.

Because of her.

~

Taglist: @skyguy-peach @jovialnoise @versatilewindow @tsukiibaka @jaegersblogh @kodzuken-pie @kara-grayson04 @attixca @volleybloop  @seiijixcia @sunareii @osterfield-hollandwriter @selca11 @his0kasbungeegum @holaaaf @tired-penguinn​

[evilelitest2]

I'm worried about 2024, I genuinely don't know if Biden will make it and I also don't like the idea of our president being his 80's but I'm also worried what scumbag degenerate fascist the gop will spit out.

So I don’t know if Biden is actually going to run in 2024, I think Biden is holding it close to his chest.  But I am honestly more confident about our chances in 2024 than I was about 2020 or I am about 2022.  Like if Trump runs again, I am almost certain he can’t win, UNLESS there is a massive covid outbreak or the economy crashes, because Trump lost by 7.5 million votes even when his administration was actively repressing the vote using the Federal Government.  BIden looks like he is going to see an exploding economy and the eventual control of Covid (knock on wood).  And the reasons why Trump lost haven’t gone away.  

He is extremely unlikable, openly bigoted  got half a million Americans killed, was horrifically incompetent, flagrantly corrupt, authoritarian, and incapable of staying on message.   I don’t think in four years people will have forgotten how much they fucking hated the Trump administration nor will they want to go back to that.  So unless the dems put up somebody as dislikable as Hillary Clinton in 2024, I think the presidental election is likely to go our way, because Trump in 2024 is going to be very similar to Trump in 2020 (the man never changes).  The only things that will be different is that the demographics will be even more in our favor and Covid will probably have died down by then.  The only chance I see for Trump beating Biden in 2024 are if 

1) The economy totally crashes in the next four years, like majorly

2) Biden does not get a handle on covid and we have a massive spike

3) Biden has a heart attack or some other serious health complication.   

Otherwise...Biden beat Trump pretty handily and I don’t see the factors leading to that defeat changing in four years that will likely be good for the dems.  

Now could Biden beat anybody other than Trump is a different question in my mind, he is going to be in his 80s and is a very boring man, so I don’t know how that will play against a more charmatic republican candidate.  But of course, I don’t know if any Republican is going to be able to get a chance in this primary, since Trump has stolen oxygen from basically every other Republican so even if Trump doesn’t win, the only person who could win would be somebody equally part of Trump world.  

[itzagothamcitysiren]

Welcome to the Family

Here it is!!!!  There’s a Web That You Have Wove is complete! My next installment will possibly have it’s first chapter out tomorrow, since I’m almost done writing it but I like to have a couple of chapter already written out before posting so we shall see!

let me know what you guys think of this chapter and if there’s anything you guys like to see me do with this in the future :) 

There’s a Web That You Have Wove pt. 7

Jason was never good at following orders. He always disregarded them and instead doing what he thought was the better solution. He knew it was something he had to work on but it was like a compulsion he couldn’t get rid of. He knew deep down that he would be better off if he just shut up and listened, but he was Jason Todd and shutting up and listening weren’t things he was good at; and he wouldn’t start being good at them now, that’s for damn sure.

           They got into the old factory building with ease; it wasn’t like it was the Joker’s or even Mr. Freeze’s hideouts where they be met with nameless goons galore. Batman wanted to be stealthy, unsure of the condition the other hostages that hung in the room were in. Jason tried to bite back his panic at the grizzly scene, still trying to push back the images from their first encounter with Zsasz. It was pretty clear that the women were all dead, the only questionable ones being the few with bags covering their faces but unlike Batman, he wasn’t optimistic about the reasoning behind why the bags covered their heads.

           He knew there was no saving them and the moment he saw Zsasz moving away from his current prey, Jason felt his blood run cold; it was Halley. She wasn’t awake, which made Jason jerk forward, only to be stopped by Bruce’s outreached arm. He was still assessing the situation, Jason huffed. He looked back at Halley, feeling a lump in his throat as he eyed the slits running up and down her arms and stomach and chest. He knew she was a meta; she could handle a couple of cuts and bounce back the next day but would she bounce back before she bleed out first?

           He refused to find out the answer to that question, taking out a batarang from his utility belt and pushing Batman’s arm away. He threw the batarang at the killer, watching as it exploded right in his face and creating a cloud of smoke around him. Robin darted out, slamming a fist in Zsasz’s cheek once he reached him, hearing a crunch. That one crunch was satisfying, but not satisfying enough, and Robin landed punch after punch, watching as Zsasz’s blood began to stain his gloved fists.

           It wasn’t until Batman pulled him away did he realize he blacked out. He’d been straddling Zsasz when he came to and the man looked pretty rough just from the short amount of time Robin had with him in his grasp. When Batman ripped him off, he looked down at his hands before fulling comprehending what he almost did. He just felt so much rage after seeing-, Halley, he cursed to him, turning around to see her still where he’d first seen her. He let Batman deal with Zsasz as he walked over to her, feeling as if he could move fast enough.

           He grabbed another batarang and used it to start cutting her down, stretching up to reach. As he felt the rope start to give, he placed a hand behind her back scooping her up as the rope was finally in two. He brought her to the ground before working on totally freeing her feet and legs. As he did, he took note of her wounds, wincing at seeing them up close. They looked pretty deep and the amount of blood she’d been covered in by this point was alarming.

           “Get her to the cave.” Batman’s harsh voice broke his gaze.

           “You’re going to let me drive the batmobile?” Jason couldn’t help but question despite the situation. He looked up at Batman questioning, why couldn’t he just drive?

           “Her blood is here. I need to clean it before I alert the GCPD that Zsasz is here. If we call them here with her like this it’ll raise to many questions once she starts healing.” Batman spoke calmly. He had handcuffed Victor to a beam before addressing Jason and now began to observe the area.

           “But they know he took her,” Jason question as he gathered her in his arms.

           “I’ll handle it.” Bruce said with a nod before ordering him to leave again, this time firmer, if possible.

           For once, Robin decided to start following orders without any more questions. He carried the girl out of the building, trying hard not to jostle her around as he quickened his pace. He wasn’t doing that great of a job at it as he heard her let out a moan and start to shiver as she started to stir. Her eyes were barely opened but once she noticed it was him she relaxed a little, her body still numb from the drugs causing her to not be completely aware of her injuries, all she knew was that she was cold.

           Jason noticed her shivers increase once the batmobile came into view. Activating the automatic doors, he placed her in the front seat. Before getting in himself, he unclipped his cape, draping it over her to try and give her some sort of warmth. With a pained look, he moved to the driver’s side, sliding over the hood to get there quicker.

           He’d never driven the batmobile before but had always dreamed of it. He didn’t feel excitement like he should of though, instead feeling his heart thumbing up into his throat as he raced through the streets of Gotham to try and get home as quickly as he could. He wished the adrenaline pumping through his veins were from the thrill of the joy ride but there was nothing joyous about this ride.

           “Alfred!” He cried out as he pulled into the Batcave, slamming the car door shut before rushing to Halley’s.

           “Alfred!” His voice cracked as he repeatedly call for the butler to come relieve some of the pressure he felt in his chest as he hosted Halley up again. He heard her whine as he didn’t realize how rough he handled her until he saw her face contort in pain. “I’m sorry,” His eyes widened, unsure how to deal with the thoughts racing in his head.

           This was his fault. All his fault, he repeated over in his head. If he hadn’t been an ass to her, she wouldn’t have started hanging out with Dylan; wouldn’t have gone out with him and his friend’s. Or if he hadn’t kept shutting her out when she tried talking to him at the very least she would’ve invited him along with her, and he would’ve been there to stop this.

            She always included him in everything, she was always looking out for him; and for no reason at that. He’d been absolutely terrible to her when they first met but she still gave him a chance and actually wanted to be friends with him. And he wasn’t stupid, he knew she must’ve mentioned something to Bruce to get him un-benched; Bruce didn’t just apologize on his own accord. No one went out of their way for Jason like she did and he royally screwed up, like he did with everything in his life.

           He was in autopilot once Alfred reached them, the old man nearly having a heart attack at the sight of the two bloodied teens. Alfred, always level headed, took control leading Jason to their infirmary in the cave and having him place the girl on a one of the cots. He began to evaluate what had to be done before telling Jason to go on a cot himself, seeing that he was covered in blood as well.

           “It’s not my blood,” Jason whispered, staring at his hands before rubbing them on his pants to try and get the red liquid off of him.  

           He was of no use and as Alfred set to work on stitching up Halley, he ordered him to go clean himself up. Jason was a wreck and only making matters worse despite how he was genuinely trying to help. He didn’t argue with Alfred as he was swatted away even in his haze and found himself peeling his costume off in his private bathroom. Staring at himself in the mirror, trying to blink away the images flashing through his head again. Fuck, he swore to himself looking down at his hands.

           He took the longest shower of his life, afraid to look down even though the only blood on him had been on his suit and not his actual person. He was just afraid, as if the water would be running red. The steam eventually pulled him out of his state of being and he just let the water hit him on the back of the head until the water ran cold and his head was clear.

           Once Bruce had gotten back hours later, concocting some bullshit story, as the police had called the Manor eventually to tell Bruce that they suspected his daughter had been abducted. Bruce explained how they had a family emergency and Alfred had picked Halley up at the bowling alley; Halley just forgot to say goodbye to her friends. It was bullshit, Jason seethed as he questioned him about the woman Halley saved. Bruce said the cops were playing it off as her misidentifying the girl who Zsasz actually had grabbed.

           “And where is he now? Arkham?” Jason shouted, as they walked up from the Batcave.

           “Yes, that’s where he belongs, Jason,” Bruce narrowed his eyes at the boy, tired from the night.

           “How many girl’s did we find dead there? He’s only going to do it again!” Jason continued his tirade, not relenting. This time it was too close to home and was sick of Bruce thinking that just throwing someone into Arkham was going to always solve their problems.

           “We don’t kill,” Bruce warned, halting his steps to look at his son, not liking what he was hinting at. “He needs professional help, Arkham-,”

           “Arkham does absolutely shit, and you know it.” Jason stopped too, almost squaring his mentor up. “That could’ve been Halley they had to put in a body bag tonight. And then what Bruce? She’s your responsibility.” Jason scowled with gritted teeth.  

           Jason didn’t wait for a reply, marching away and towards his room. He was steaming; Bruce was going to let the wrong guy go one day and he’d regret it. Gotham wasn’t a place for mercy and certainly never got any better with a hero who showed nothing but it. Jason knew that from experience, having grown up practically on the streets after his mother died and his loser father got locked up. Bruce didn’t really know Gotham like he thought he did. How could he? He grew up in this place for fucksake, Jason raved.

           He reached his room but just stared at his door without entering. He looked across the hall, heaving his shoulders down before heading towards the opposing door. Knocking gently, he heard some shuffling before the door eventually opened. He frowned, she should be in bed.

           “Ja-Jason,” Halley stumbled, looking flustered, as she kept the door halfway shut. She was trying to hide her face from him by let her hair fall in front of her. Jason could see it though; he could see her red puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks even in the dimly lit room. Her hand held onto the doorframe as she looked away from him. “What’s up?”

           She was trying to play everything off but he wouldn’t let her; not this time. He was afraid that she was going to run, like she did after the whole Deathstroke thing. She looked far more upset this time than he remembered from that. He wouldn’t let her leave again; he’d be there for her like she’d been for him.

           “Can I come in?” He asked, placing a hand on the door.

           She thought about it for a moment, knowing she couldn’t really say no to him but didn’t want to appear weak in front of him either. She’d already started healing but the cuts had been deep and even with Alfred’s stitching and handwork she knew she’d need a little more time to heal than usual. She felt sore all over on her upper torso, multiple slashes scattering her body now; she really hoped none of them scarred but with her luck they would.

           She opened the door fully, moving out of the way to let him in and made her way to her bed. She picked up her phone that she left on the bed before placing it on her nightstand. She cleared her throat, “I already texted Dylan apologizing for worrying him. You know, about leaving without telling them.” She frowned, knowing that Bruce properly just sent Jason to check if she did it yet; she knew Jason was still mad at her or whatever.

           “I didn’t come here for that.” He said with an eye roll, closing her door slowly. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking at her face when she turned to face him. She looked shocked at his answer, sitting down on her bed. He saw the wince she made as her body hit the bed. “I came to make sure you were okay.”

           “Oh,” was all she said, her voice quiet and soft.

           “And apologize.” He continued, feeling himself grow nervous.

           “What did I do wrong?” She asked, not wanting to push him but she wanted to know if Kori was right or if it was something else.

           “You didn’t do anything,” he sighed, letting his hand fall down from his neck. “I-I was just going through something and took it out on you, and that was wrong of me.” He said gradually, not sure how open he wanted to be but also wanted her to know that he was the jackass and not her. “So, sorry,”

           “Oh,” she nodded, sounding somewhat disappointed but quickly caught herself. “I forgive you, thank you for apologizing.” She smiled at him but it hurt. She didn’t feel like smiling, she just wanted to curl up and cry.

           She let herself be too vulnerable tonight and she was disappointed in herself. She let herself be so consumed with stupid teenager stuff that her head wasn’t in the game and she could’ve gotten herself killed tonight. She also couldn’t stop thinking about the woman Victor Zsasz killed right in front of her. She was completely helpless and just let it happen. Someone was dead tonight and it was all because of her. She wasn’t good enough-,

           “Hey,” Jason’s voice reached her, causing her to look up. She brought a hand to her cheek and noticed the tears falling down. She looked up at Jason as he stood in front of her. Her cheeks were red in embarrassment as he sat next to her. “It’s going to be okay, you’re safe now.”

           “I could’ve died- someone died, because of me.” She now found herself letting out a sob, the shock finally wearing off. She clenched her fists as they rested on her thighs. “He killed her, right in front of me and I couldn’t do anything to stop it,” She choked, before running a shaky hand through her hair. She’d seen people die before, she’d seen lots of people in fact, but nothing like this; this was so heartless. “Her face- he just-,”

           Jason hushed her, pulling her gently into his chest. She was startled at the contact but accepted the gesture, wrapping her arms around his torso and held on tightly as she cried into his shirt. She felt his hand slowly rub circles on her back as he just let her cry. She didn’t even cry like this in front of Dick and she thought he’d seen her at her worst but this- this was just embarrassing. She didn’t seem to find it in herself to care about that though too much and either did Jason apparently because he made no indication of moving anytime soon.

           Eventually they fell back onto her bed, exhaustion setting in. Jason scooched them up to her pillow, their heads hitting them as he pulled her to his chest again, letting her curl up onto him. Her tight hold on his shirt didn’t bug him as he simply moved his hand to cover hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze. His hand reached up from her back to entangle his fingers in her hair, giving a weak smirk as she sighed in contentment; he was pretty sure she felt his heart nearly beat out of his chest after she made the sound and nuzzled her head into his shoulder. Jason didn’t know he had it in him to be this soft with someone.

           Halley didn’t want him to leave. She was afraid to be alone during the nightmares she knew she would end up having tonight. He felt good next to her and she felt safe. She felt her voice coming back to her as she nuzzled her head against him. “Can you stay here tonight?”

           She had said it so softly that he almost couldn’t make out what the words were but he knew what she was asking. With a nod, he responded, settling into bed to get more comfortable than he already was,

           “Yeah.”

[lovedsammy]

if your world falls apart; commission for @awesomesusiebstuff

This was a commission request from @awesomesusiebstuff, who requested some Sam and trauma + Jack and Sam’s feelings on Jack developing from the Devil’s son, to someone similar to himself, to finally his own person that Sam cares for and views as a son. :)

- 

“Father?” 

Sam doesn’t quite know what to make of it. 

He’d been expecting -- they’d all been expecting -- a newborn baby. Instead, he’s staring at a naked almost fully-grown young man huddled in the corner of the nursery. The boy’s - Jack’s - eyes are alight in a golden hue, alerting Sam to the depth of his power. And the scope of it reminds him of just whose offspring he is. This was Lucifer’s son. Sam’s mouth goes dry with fear. A part of him almost wishes he were in Dean’s place instead outside, huddled in the dirt seated beside the form of their fallen friend. But he’d come in first, he’d taken it upon himself to find the child, and he couldn’t back out now. Not when was face to face with him. He forces himself to remember that this is also Kelly Kline’s son, and that she died believing that he would be good, that he’d be more human than angel. And Cas…. Cas had just died sharing that same belief. He owed it to Cas, and to Kelly, to give Jack a chance. He owed it to the universe. 

And most importantly, he owed it to the kid. 

Sam knew full well what it was like to be told that your destiny had already been decided for you, that you were born to be evil. Just because Lucifer and Jack shared the same genetics - or as close to genetics as angels could possibly have - didn’t mean that Jack was going to go dark. If Cas and Kelly had taken that leap of faith, then Sam would, too. But telling himself that and feeling it were two different things. Right now, the echoes of Lucifer were all over this room, even when Sam realistically knows that he’s trapped with Mary on the other side. 

When the boy speaks again, it takes Sam a moment to register that Jack is asking him if he’s his father, not just asking for him. 

“N-No, I’m not your father, Jack,” Sam says slowly, placatingly, as if speaking to a wild animal. He doesn’t really know how to approach him, doesn’t know how Jack will react to hearing that. “It is Jack, right?”

Jack just stares at him, either because he’s not pleased with Sam’s answer or because he’s confused by it. Sam isn’t sure. “Father,” The boy repeats. It’s not a question anymore, but a declarative statement. 

It hits Sam then that this boy, while being physically grown to adulthood, was mentally and emotionally a child in every single way. For whatever reason, Jack had just associated Sam with the status of being his father, had basically imprinted on him. Or at least, that was what Sam was understanding. Before he can even try and really process or attempt to explain the situation, Sam hears Dean calling out for him. 

“In here,” He returns. His brother was good with kids, better than he was; maybe Dean could help Jack out. 

Instead, when Dean comes into the room and stands at Sam’s side, he looks upon the Nephilim boy for the first time, and immediately fires a shot at him.

“No!”

Sam reacts a second too late, lifting his arm uselessly to try and stop Dean The bullet barely misses the kid, and Jack unleashes a harsh yell in the form of a terrified tantrum. 

Sam catches Dean’s eye as they’re both suspended into the air. He’d tried so hard to be careful with Jack, and now thanks to Dean, they had only succeeded in pissing him off.

The force of Jack’s power slams them backwards, and Sam hits the wall with a hard thud. The last thing he sees before he slips into blackness is Jack’s golden eyes, and how as his vision fades, they become an eerie ruby red.   

-

The cell door closes with a bang and Sam jumps. 

Here he was, imprisoned once more with a celestial being. Even if this time had been slightly by his own choice. The sheriff had decided to lock him in here after he’d tasered Jack, but between himself and Dean, Sam was probably the better of the two of them to be alone with the kid right now. He genuinely wanted to try and reach through to him again, to explain, to try and help him if possible. Jack had seemed a bit out of his head, erratic when they’d found him. The exploding lights and pained reaction from the boy made it clear that he was spiraling, and fast. He had already attacked the sheriff. But Sam didn’t think it was done with malice or bad intention. Right now, sitting here looking at him, Sam sees an unstable being that doesn’t know who to trust, or how to navigate this new world he was just born into.

Sam is still cautious, though, and admittedly unnerved. Being near the kid was hard. The fact that he was the Devil’s son kept running through his head, constantly at the front of his mind. It didn’t even matter that Dean was in the next room over. Sam felt worlds away from him. He presses a little on the scar on his palm, just to try and ease the dissociation. It’d become a lot easier lately, to distinguish what was real and what wasn’t. He hadn’t even had to do this in a long while. 

But sometimes, he just needed to be sure. 

He misses it when Jack begins to stir. Automatically, the boy rolls over and springs backward on all fours, turning his golden eyes distrustingly towards him. Sam’s heart almost leaps into his throat. He lifts his hands up in surrender.

 “Whoa, whoa, easy, easy. It’s okay, you’re okay,” Sam says breathlessly. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

The boy is shaking.

“You already hurt me,” He growls, reminding Sam of a wounded animal. The kid felt threatened, hence his current stance. Jack was only trying to protect himself. 

Sam knows he only has one chance left to convince Jack that he means him no harm, that he’s on his side.  

“Yes, I did,” Sam amends. “I’m sorry. I was just trying to slow you down. You were, you were, um….” He trails off. How did you explain to a newborn Nephilim that he was losing control, losing his mind? Reminding people -- namely Sam -- of his lunatic Devil father? “Are you… are you all right?” He asks instead. 

“I don’t…. I was scared,” Jack explains slowly. “And when I get scared, things happen. I can’t stop them.” 

Sam’s brows crease. “Why were you scared?” 

“Because of the voices. They were so loud, so angry…” Jack is still shuddering, his entire body vibrating. The lights in the hall begin to flicker distantly. Sam looks back to Jack. 

“Do you hear them right now?” Sam needs to get the kid to let go of the fear, to calm down before something else happens. 

Jack focuses intently. “No,” He realizes, and some of the tension leaves his body. At last, he stops trembling, and straightens up. Unlike his father, Jack’s posture is unsure and wary.

“Good,” Sam assures him, offering a tight smile, a weak laugh. “That’s good.” A sharp relieved exhale escapes his lips and he takes a second to gather himself. As nerve wracking as this entire situation was, maybe there was a chance of reaching through to Jack after all. Sam starts a little when Jack moves closer, but the boy only goes to sit down, folding his legs cross-legged and appraising the hunter with child-like eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” He states. 

It takes Sam aback. “What?” 

“Will you tell them that I’m sorry?” Jack requests.

Sam sits there in stunned silence for a long moment before he can get his lips to move. “Y-yeah. Sure. Of course.” 

In the two minutes he’d spent with the kid, Sam was already beginning to think that Cas and Kelly got it right. There was no possible way that this boy was born evil. And when Jack talks about his mother with a fond smile, the reassurance is there. It makes Sam’s heart clench, especially when he announces that he considers Cas his father. It’s only that much harder when Sam has to give the news to him, that Castiel was dead.

The tearful eyes and sorrowful features reach something inside of Sam, making him want to offer the kid comfort. Here was this new being born into the world and already having lost everything. Jack needed guidance and help, not judgment or isolation. 

Sam makes the decision then that no matter what Dean says, he wants to try and help him. 

Because Jack wasn’t evil. 

-

After Dean agrees to take Jack home with them, the overall apprehension of being near the kid lessens. At some point, he stops associating Jack with being Lucifer’s son, and more as Kelly’s, and more of Cas’s. And in some weird way, kind of his, too. More and more, Jack was reminding Sam somewhat of himself. 

He hadn’t missed the similarities: both born to be evil, dead mothers, an unexplained power that seemed impossible to get a handle on. Sam had decided that day in the jail cell that he was going to protect Jack, to help him, to be for him what no one had for him.

Dean didn’t understand. He still saw Jack as evil, incapable of goodness or the possibility of being saved.

The first time Dean voices this is directly to Jack’s face, and it causes Jack to inadvertently use his powers, redirecting the kid outside. Sam comes to find him curled up in a cold alley, sniffling and blotchy-faced.

It hurts Sam that Jack feels so lost, so abandoned and unwanted. 

“Maybe I’m not worth all of this,” The kid says. 

Sam looks at him, nodding, because he understands. How many times had he had that same mentality? That Dean would be better off without him, had his brother just followed Dad’s orders and shot Sam dead like he was supposed to? Sam hadn’t thought he was worth anyone’s efforts, either. But Dean, Cas, his Mom, Bobby -- none of them had given up on him. 

“Your mom thought you were,” Sam tells him. “So did Cas.” Saying the angel’s name was still hard, still painful. After a beat he adds, “So do I.” And he means it. 

Jack lowers his eyes, still a bit disbelieving, but obviously touched. 

“Come on.” Sam says, extending his hand out to the boy. “Let’s go back in. Don’t let Dean get to you, okay? He’ll come around. He did for me.” 

The kid gives him an inquisitive look. “What do you mean?” 

Sam sighs, shaking his head. “I can’t yet. Not tonight. But some other time, okay?” One day he was going to tell Jack everything. 

Jack nods, and doesn’t press it. 

-

Hearing from Jack that Dean told the kid he wanted to kill him…. Sam’s seeing red. He tries to play it cool when his brother comes in, but once Dean mentions Jack and how messed up he is, it only infuriates Sam more. 

“No, Dean, he’s messed up because of you.” 

To his credit, Dean doesn’t look the least bit guilty about it. Sam tries to ignore the hurt that makes him feel. 

“Dean… you said you’d kill him.”

“It wasn’t exactly like that,” Dean says. 

“Then how exactly was it?”  

“I told him the truth,” Dean retorts. “See, you think you can use this freak. But I know how this ends. And it ends bad.” 

Sam can hardly believe what he’s hearing. He hadn’t heard the word ‘freak’ in years, and despite himself, it’s making him feel some type of way. “I didn’t,” He says harshly. 

“What?”

“I didn’t end bad,” Sam reiterates. “When I was the ‘freak.’ When I was drinking demon blood.” 

Dean shakes his head. “Come on, man, that’s totally different.” 

Sam raises his brows. “Was it? Because you could’ve put a bullet in me. Dad told you to put a bullet in me, but you didn’t! You saved me! So help me save him!” 

Dean glares at him. “You deserved to be saved. He doesn’t!” 

“Yes, he does, Dean. Of course he does!” 

“I know you think you can use him as some sort of interdimensional can opener, and that’s fine, but don’t act like you care about him! You only care about what he can do for you!” Dean shouts, and Sam reels back from the force of it.  

Of course he cared about Jack. Jack was his own person, not a reflection of himself. And Jack sure as hell wasn’t just some tool that they could use and then throw away when he was no longer useful. That wasn’t Sam. It was true that he needed Jack’s help, that he was hopeful to utilize some of Jack’s power to find Mary. 

But that didn’t mean that he didn’t care about him. 

So when he comes to find Jack later, he apologizes. First for not telling him the whole truth, that they needed help finding Mary. But most of all, he apologizes for Dean’s behavior, and for what Jack had overheard.

“You want to save her,” Jack realizes. 

Sam nods. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. But if this doesn’t work, if that can’t happen ... that's okay. Because I do care about you.” He tells the boy earnestly, and he can feel the truth of it, the weight of it, in his heart. He cared about Jack more than he liked to admit. 

He wouldn’t let anything happen to Jack. Not because of Dean, or Lucifer, or anyone else. Sam was going to protect this kid - his kid - with everything he had. 

[vivypotter]

Vivy’s Harry Potter Fic Recs

I’ve had a load of people ask me for my favourite tomarry fics, so I thought I’d compile a fic rec! This will probably be updated as I think of things. However, I have a lot of favourite fics which aren’t Tomarry, so I thought I’d add a few other pairings as well. I think I’ll put up a few recs of other fandoms as well when I get ‘round to it, like Hannibal or the Hobbit (I have weird reading habits okay?) It’ll help me find them too xD.

Tom Riddle or Voldemort/Harry Potter

Consuming Shadows by Child_OTKW (WIP)

On the night of the attack, Lily managed to escape with her infant son, but at the cost of her husband’s life. Distraught and distrusting of her friends, she fled to France with Harry, to raise him away from the corruption in Britain and the rising influence of the Dark Lord. She trains him to the best of her abilities, shaping him into a dangerous, intelligent and powerful wizard.

But when Britain re-establishes the Triwizard Tournament, and Harry is forced to return to his once-home, he finds himself questioning whether he really wants to kill the Dark Lord. Voldemort finds an unexpected challenge in the child, and as his intrigue and amusement grows, so too does the desire to possess the spark in those defiant green eyes.

I feel this is genuinely one of the best Tomarry fanfics maybe ever written, and I’m sure you’ve probably read it since it’s so popular - but I thought I’d recommend it anyway! It’s not finished, but there’s enough of it to really sink your teeth into and action is properly going down right now. Harry is such an interesting character and his cat and mouse dynamic with Voldemort is so entertaining. I anxiously wait for every update!

Set the Sails (and don’t look back) by Terrific Lunacy (Complete)

1724. All Harry wanted to do was to cross the Atlantic and start his apprenticeship under one of the most renowned physicians. Tom Riddle is convinced everything floating in the seven seas belongs to him. That includes ship-wrecked, green-eyed youths. Especially if they tell him to fuck off.

This is a fic that’s really stuck with me. It’s complete (a miracle in the tomarry fandom) and there’s a fun back-and-forth between Voldemort and Harry. Our goodhearted Harry is a doctor! And for some reason, I’ve been really into Pirate AUs recently.

A Thousand Paths Among The Stars by haplesshippo (Complete)

Harry Potter, newly appointed Captain of the Marauder and son of the famous Captain James Potter, was falling apart at the seams. His crew didn’t respect him, he was lost in the empty expanse of space, nightmares plagued his sleep, and his Commander deserved the Captain position more than he did. Good thing multiple attempts on his life and a vicious warlord after his head was all it took to turn it all around.

Alternatively, that space fic in which Harry Potter almost dies too many times, Tom Riddle slowly becomes the most smitten fool on the ship, and the rest of the crew are all just a bunch of assholes with popcorn watching the show. And exploding ships, don't forget the exploding ships.

Another pirate AU, kind of! But this one is in space! And it’s actually more of a Star Trek AU. Okay, it’s not really a pirate AU but I wanted to keep the theme going. This is such a freaking good fic- the relationship between Tom and Harry is very unusual (not as combative as the last two fics) and there are some nice twists, as well as combination of HP lore and what I assume is Star Trek (I’ve never seen it okay). And the extended cast is excellent. I fully recommend!

The Dragon's Mate by Strange_Soulmates (Complete fics but WIP series)

Harry Potter has recently escaped from his dragon-guarded tower. So has his fellow prisoner - the dragon who was enchanted to guard him. Harry's friend is missing, however, and so he sets off to assure himself of his well-being before he finds the person responsible for imprisoning them both. Accompanied by a stranger with a familiar name, Harry finds himself with more questions than answers as he slowly learns about the customs of dragons and the history of the dragon he befriended, the fearsome Voldemort.

I really love pretty much all of Strange_Soulmates’ fics, but this is definitely my favourite (and maybe the only complete one? Don’t quote me on that.) The characters are so well done, and although I love the first fic a little more than the second, they are both excellent reads! Dragons and wizards? Yes, please!

Everything's Fine in the Beast Division by Merrinpippy (Complete)

Harry's lifelong ambition is to become an auror, but as his knowledge of Dangerous Beasts is somewhat lacking, Newt Scamander agrees to take him on as an apprentice. Contrary to the Weasley twins' predictions that Harry would die of boredom, Harry finds his time at the Ministry very interesting, and befriending the very attractive Tom Riddle doesn't hurt at all- in fact, quite the opposite.

This is such a fantastic fanfiction, and a crossover with Fantastic Beasts (a franchise I can’t stand but that’s a conversation for another time). It manages to be fluffy without going OOC which is difficult for tomarry fics, and the supporting cast are adorable!

To Be Set Free by Merrinpippy

Harry Potter, raised and abused by the Dursleys ever since his parents died, lives in the cupboard under the stairs. He has no friends or family who love him and his life is dull until one day a letter arrives arrives for him, written in green ink, that promises freedom. Sounds familiar, right?

King Thomas Riddle's illness combined with his political paranoia pushes him to arrange three royal balls, after which his son, Prince Tom Riddle, must choose a guest to marry, thereby securing the kingdom's future and solidifying their strength in the eyes of their allies/enemies. Tom is convinced that he will be able to defy his father and choose no-one, or at least he is until at the first ball he meets an attractive stranger with dark hair and glasses who won't tell anyone his name...

This is also excellent, and I love a good Fairytale AU. Merrinpippy has some really good stuff. I love all of it!

As Clichéd as Clichés Go by thecrimsonmonarch (One-shot)

Harry Potter wasn't known for his social skills, mainly because they were practically non-existent.

This is a bit random but very fun. Harry is a fucking dork. That’s all there is to say. A thoroughly amusing Lawyer AU.

Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus by The Carnivorous Muffin (WIP)

As the unwitting personification of Death, reality exists to Lily through the veil of a backstage curtain, a transient stage show performed by actors who take their roles only too seriously. But as the Girl-Who-Lived, Lily's role to play is the most important of all, and come hell or high water play it she will, regardless of how awful Wizard Lenin seems to think she is at her job.

This is a still-uploading fanfic and one of my faves. It’s not for everyone- it’s a fem!Harry and she’s so different that she’s really an OC to be honest, and the story is slightly complicated. This is certainly not a fic to go for if you want IC characters. But I really love the writing and the ideas and it’s basically a new, fascinating universe. And even if they’re not IC, I love the characters all dearly. The Carnivorous Muffin is certainly an extremely talented writer- all of her stuff is excellent.

Little Bits by lordmarvoloriddle

Inspired by Cinderella. Only there's no prince and surely no one is singing about their feelings and Harry's life could be a lot worse than having three step-brothers and a father who didn't liked him. He's going to be proven right.

This is such a bloody creepy fic and so so good. The ending is a complete twist and you should definitely read it!

Drarry

Draw a Line from Your Heart to Mine by CreateImagineWrite (Complete)

Being Harry Potter's best friend isn't always fame and beating off raving fans. It's also the anxiety of hearing your best mate's been cursed by another Dark Lord, or love potioned by some crazy woman. Or having his boyfriend you knew nothing about turn up on the Burrow's doorstep.

This is a bit of a random inclusion, but I was just reading this and it is SO GOOD. Perhaps a bit cliched in places, but Ron Weasley’s inner monologue makes up for it.

Turn by Saras_Girl

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

This is an also an excellent fic that I read bloody ages ago and has apparently stuck with me. There’s this whole Harry going into an alternate dimension where he’s married to Draco Malfoy plot, but the really beautiful thing is Harry exploring his dissatisfaction with his life- through carpentry! I know it sounds like a crack fic, but it’s not- it’s a gorgeously written fic.

Away Childish Things by lettered

Harry gets de-aged. Malfoy has to help him.

This does the ‘Harry was abused’ revelation so well and really interestingly explores both Harry and Draco’s childhood. The overarching plot is also excellently done, which can’t always be said for character-focused fics!

Jily

#Jily by Chie (Chierafied) (One-shot)

Twitter seemed awash with the hashtag Jily. Lily blinked at in confusion, until she realised it was one of those silly couple monikers people had bestowed on her and Potter. …Though there was a small dissenting crowd following a tweet from Potter’s bandmate Sirius Black: Jily? Hah! More like LAMES.

This is such a fucking cute one-shot. I love social media AUs (if you find any, send them my way), so I loved this!

The Rise and Fall of the Extraordinary Jilysanschilly: Including Excerpts of their Best Collected Works by elanev91 (One-shot)

James Potter and Lily Evans are both wildly successful YouTubers and Sirius cannot believe that people ship them enough to write erotic fanfiction about them. 

You might be picking up on my love of modern Jily AUs. This is so cute, Sirius is weirdly IC as he gets caught up in a smut addiction and James and Lily don’t hate each other from the beginning so that’s fun. A very sweet YouTuber AU.

Hit the Like Button by elixirsoflife (One-shot)

YouTube star James Potter is living it up at uni: filming videos, getting drunk and professing his love for aspiring singer Lily Evans to anyone who'll listen.

It’s another modern AU, but this time, Lily is a famous singer! This was fucking adorable, enough said.

The White Album by cgner (Complete)

James poses as an advice charm in Lily's diary. He's really got to start thinking through his shenanigans.

This is the strangest mix of angst and fluff that I’ve ever read, but it really, really works. It’s also kind of a crossover, as it’s written by the co-author of:

Haggis from Algernon by Rude Gus (Complete)

The fic about nothing.

Everything written by both Rude Gus and cgner is brilliant (not a surprise as they’re almost the same person), but Haggis really is a classic. And check out their Bachelor AU fic! It’s surprisingly brilliant.

Gen and Misc

Kid by Anonymous (Completed)

A Potion's "accident" turns Harry into an eight year old. Draco Malfoy begins planning his kidnapping/conversion to the Dark Side. But Harry's a passive-aggressive, revenge-obsessed little bastard. Maybe Draco will wait on that whole Dark Lord thing… 

Such a cute fic! A really nice character study of Draco and cute kid Harry is always a bonus. I’m not usually a Draco Malfoy fan, but this is a great fic.

Harveste by kyaru-chan (Complete fics but WIP series - probs abandoned)

He's done it. He's just five years old, but he's finally done it. The Dursleys are gone. And now he's with a new family who seems just as twisted as he is. How strange.

This is a really weird fic series. It’s actually an Addams family AU? Harry kills the Dursleys and gets adopted by the Addams family, and then there’s a separate fic for each HP book up to Half-Blood Prince, where I think they stopped. It definitely still worth a read though. Harry is certainly not IC but it’s a fascinating combination of the two universes with all the quirky Addams family humour. It’s certainly a bit of a crack fic to read when you’re down.

Sarcasm and Slytherin by sunmoonandstars (Complete stories but WIP series)

After ten years of misery with the Dursleys, Harry Potter learns that he has magic. Except, in this story, it's not a surprise-the only surprise is that there are others like him. Including his twin brother, Julian Potter, the savior of the Wizarding world.

This isn't the Harry you think you know.

This is WBWL kind of story (although we don’t know if Harry actually is the BWL yet. Harry is a really interesting character and his relationship with his family- especially Jules - is very well developed and nuanced. Harry’s friendships and the authors interpretation of Slytherin house is also a new twist on old tropes- it feels very fresh! I’m eagerly waiting for updates!

So there it is. Just some of my HP faves. I’m considering doing one for Hannibal, Yuri on Ice, The Hobbit, Labyrinth (my tastes are so weird) etc, so let me know if you’re interested!

[storytimewithcort]

SKYRIM DRABBLES (Farkas) (Part 2)

Fandom: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim 

Basic Summary: Short blurbs from various points in my Dragonborn's life in Whiterun.

Warning: violence a bit

Part 2 of 2

--------

Téli slammed her warhammer against the gate that locked her in one corner if the room. Her hope of the gate breaking open enough for her slip out died as she felt the sturdiness of the gate's steel rods not nudging beneath her hammer. She cried out for Farkas but he barely spare a glance as he fought off two fighters who came running into the room after them. She turned her attention to the walls around her, looking to find a switch or lever to lift the gate she was so foolish to trigger.

Farkas fell the two rogues and ran to her, “Now look what you've gotten yourself into.” he teased, snickering as she blew out an exasperated sigh. Just as he began to search for a release switch, a door opens behind them allowing a slew of new assassins to run into the room. Téli sighed again, more exaggerated.

Taking quick account of the nearly a dozen men plus the four draugrs staggering out of broken coffins. No doubt awoken by the noise they were making in the chamber. Farkas decided the fastest way to take them all out was the beast. Turning back to Téli. He smiled; which surprised her to no end.

“No worries. Just sit tight. I'll find the release after I deal with all this." Farkas remarked as he hesitated a brief second while looking directly at Téli through the bars. He looked at her with the softest expression she'd ever received from him for only a moment before his smile turned wicked and he turned back to the crowd.

He stood there for a moment eyeing each and every one of the assassins and draugrs as they advanced on him. The wicked smile upon his face grew wider and wider until it became unnaturally wide. A dark howl roared through the cavern as Farkas convulsed, his head going almost to his knees before retching back upward. Téli also swore she could hear the popping and cracking of bones or something else hard echoing through the the large room they were in. A darkness took hold over Farkas and before she could even comprehend what she was seeing, he no longer stood before her. What stood before her now was larger than a man and covered in dark black hair. It, he, looked like the largest wolf she had ever seen.

The wolf lunged at the nearest Silver Hand assassin easily tearing into the side of his neck. Large clawed hands threw the man through the air directly into an approaching draugr. The beast ran easily throughout the room ferociously slaying everyone. In moments the anguished cries and painful screams died out, leaving the wolf standing alone surrounded by the blood and gore he caused.

Téli worked to keep her breathing in check. Her heart racing. She was a alarmed but surprisingly intrigued, all the whispers of ‘beast blood’ around Jorrvaskr made sense finally. She watched silently as the wolf decompressed in size until Farkas stood again in the middle of the room. He shook his shoulders and then limbs out in a way a dog would after getting wet. He adjusted his armor and wiped his mouth before turning towards her.

Luckily without the stress of impending attack, Farkas was able to find a small stone switch embedded into the wall by the gate, The bars lifted allowing Téli to join him in the chamber again.

For the first time since they got to know each other an awkward silence fell between them. Téli had many questions but didn't actually know how to ask them. She shuffled her feet as she thought. Farkas read her silence as fear. He winced, cursing himself internally for showing her the beast too soon.

“Did I scare you?” he asked. His soft tone causing her to smile softly.  

She took another moment to decide which question was most important to ask first, but ultimately couldn't decide. “Are all - Do you?” she shook her head, intrigue in her mind exploding, “Are all the Companions wolves? Is that the big secret? Is that way initiation is so throughout? Is it painful to change? Is it magic? A magic disease like vampires? Or are you an entirely different species? Are your clothes and armor magic? How do they change with you?  Is there a blacksmith somewhere that can make me shapeshifting armor? Does-?”

“Enough questions, lassy. How can I answer you if you don't even breathe between asking more questions?” Farkas interjected with a chuckle, cutting off her excitement. “Are you sure you're not scared?”

“Scared? Of you?” Téli stepped up close to Farkas, examining his face with a gentle gaze. She tucked some of his messy hair behind his ear. “Never, I trust you.” she placed a quick kiss on his temple before leaning back.

As she stepped away from him to look around the room again, Farkas smiled wide. He had just revealed the most imposing traits about himself to her and she wasn't afraid. In fact, she seemed amused and intrigued. When asked if he believed her a good fit for the Companions or even the Circle, he knew his answer would be an astounding, ‘yes’.

“So,” she started, “which way to the axe? This place is gross.” she nudged a draugr corpse with her foot before nodding to a door in the way corner of the room.

The rest of the trip was notably simpler. They retrieved the axe without anymore trouble and made it to Whiterun quickly. Along their trip Farkas answered all of Téli’s questions, no matter how silly he thought some of them were.

---

Farkas believed he would see more of Téli after she officially joined the Companions. However between her trips to Riften and her business with the College of Winterhold, she would disappear for weeks at a time. He tried to act like it didn't bother him. He tried, and failed. As he slumped into a seat at the main dining table in Jorrvaskr with a audible sigh for the fourth morning in a row, Vilkas laughed loudly from across the table.

“What?” He growled not looking up from his meal.

“Just enjoying how pathetic you are in love, brother.” Vilkas said leaning back in his chair.

Farkas ignored the smug smile he could feel directed at him from across the table and continued to eat. It wasn't his fault, he reminded himself. He wasn't used to having someone cozy themselves into his life and make such a impact on him. He was happily content with his life. He had his brother and the Circle, that was enough. He was a functional blacksmith and a strong warrior, that was enough. He had a beast howling inside him, that was enough.

Until it wasn't enough.

Téli waltzed into battle against a troll with ease, then she waltzed into his life even easier. She accepted his secrets with understanding and compassion in ways he could barely believe. Better yet, she seemed to genuinely enjoy his company. She liked his cooking and laughed at his bad jokes. She was bright and silly one moment and then fierce and unyielding the next.

Having her around him was enough, but at the same time it wasn't. He wanted more.

Most importantly he just wanted her to come home.

----

When she finally arrived three days later, she burst into Jorrvaskr, smiling wide as she pranced through the main hall. Flopping down into a chair next to Aela and Farkas by the fire she beamed, “I did something reckless!”

“And that's a good thing?” Aela chuckled, eyebrow raised.

Farkas smiled at the sight of her, relieved she returned. Téli was pretty already, but seeing her excitement added to her allure. He sat up in his seat ready for her explanation.

Téli bit her bottom lip in contemplation a moment, before finding the right way to describe her new life. “Well simply put, I...I fell in love!”

The smile on her face should have been contagious but at her words Farkas slumped back into his chair with a scowl. It was as if he couldn't breathe anymore. She fell in love with some else? That quickly? She was only gone two weeks this time. Some more amazing warrior than he swept her off her feet no doubt, and they did something reckless. Oh Gods, did she get married?  His thoughts swirled around his mind in a hazy swirl as he felt a dark mix of sadness and fury.

Unable to take the disappointment, Farkas knew he needed to remove himself from the situation as soon as possible or he'd lash out and tarnish her happiness. He stood up rigidly and marched toward the staircase leading down without a word. He made it one step down before a hand on his shoulder made home stop.

He turned to see Téli, as expected, but he simply shrugged her off and continued down the stairs. She followed and once they were both at the bottom she reached out again and he growled at the contact.  

“Hey” she said softly, her excited tone now faded. “I was hoping-”

“To shove your new found happiness in my face?” He snarled at her, baring teeth.

Téli backed away, apprehension now across her face. She pushed onward however, determined to make him understand. “I know it was quick, but if you knew the whole story you'd understand. If you come meet her, you’ll love her too.”

“You want me to meet her?! Are you that cruel? Or that blind?” he responded, snarl still in place.

Her apprehension of his anger blossomed into a sad confusion as she watched him before her. His face was curved into an angry expression, but his eyes looked sad. She would have expected him to be happy about this. Maybe a bit nervous, but happy. Then a thought, realization, popped into her head.

“Did you hear me speak as you stood up just now? While you were huffing away from Aela and I.” she asked.

He cocked his head to the side slightly, “Ah, no.” he admitted.

“Then you have to come with me, it'll be better to show you anyway.” she said, now beaming again. At Farkas’ hesitation to follow she took his hand in hers and looked at him with a small smile, “Please.”

He couldn't deny her. Even as she dragged him out of Jorrvaskr and through the town. The love of his life was taking him to meet her lover and he couldn't say ‘no’. He was pathetic.

As she opened the door to her little house she called out, “Runa, I'm back!” Farkas thought it was a horrible name until he saw the small girl run out from the back room to greet Téli with an armful of clothes draped over her petite arms. Her hair frizzy as if just recently washed and her cheeks flush with excitement.

“Welcome home!” she said, “Are all these for me?” She hugged the clothes close.

“Of course sweetie.”

He stared at the child blankly for what felt like ages. His mind taking far too long to connect the dots. “You….” he started still shocked. “You adopted a child.”

“I sure did. I was running errands for the orphanage when I got to know Runa. She's clever and resourceful, respectful and very silly.” Runa swayed her hips in a little dance at the compliments. The tinder of kindness softened Téli's voice,“Before I knew it I was in love. I always wanted kids eventually. So I figured...why not adopt her.”

Téli ruffled Runa's hair and continued, “I was thinking of asking the poor homeless girl who wanders around Whiterun to live with us too. Lucia. She's a darling.”

“I'd get a sister?!” Runa all but screamed out in glee. Some of her clothes dropped from her arms as she danced in place more excitedly.

Téli nodded and then asked Runa to put her clothes away and go wash up for lunch. As the girl ran off Farkas watched her run, still shocked. She disappeared into the back room again.

“What do you think?” Téli asked, nudging him with her elbow.

Still staring blankly at a spot on the wall Runa just ran past, he whispered, “You adopted a child.” The statement full of as much surprise as before. Suddenly he chuckled to himself, “You adopted a child, and here I thought you meant…”

“Thought I meant what?” Téli teased, while her cheeks burned a dark pink blush.

Extremely interested in a spot of dirt on his hand, he refused to look at her. He muttered so quietly and quickly, his words made no sense, “Ithoughtyougotmarried”

“Hmm?” Téli pressed, stepping closer to him. When he dared a glance up at her, she was smirking with an all-knowing look in her eyes.

He cleared his throat, “I...I  thought you ran off and got married...or something.”

Shrugging, “I couldn't go and marry just anyone.” Still simpering, “Maybe I've already got my eye on someone in particular...” Téli poked his armored chest before her blush got the best of her and she moved around Farkas to the kitchen area behind him. As she offered for him to stay for lunch he couldn't wipe the goofy grin off his face.

----

Farkas found himself spending the majority of his free time at Téli’s house. Téli herself hadn't left Whiterun much now that the girls were around. She spent her working time doing odd jobs with the Companions and leading supply runs for The Bannered Mare to local breweries. He was generally pleased with all the time he spent with her, but there were moments that the urge to kiss her was unbearable. She acted completely oblivious to those moments. She was fond of him, he trusted that. However, maybe that was it. They hadn't spoken again about their miscommunication the day she brought Runa home or the idea of marriage at all. Farkas couldn't be sure any longer if Téli had hinted at having deeper feelings for him or not.

One especially bright and warm day, while on his way to Téli's house for lunch and to listen to what was sure to be another one of Runa's tales of make-believe, he noticed a vendor in the market that wasn't typically there.

The dunmer woman was selling flowers, most of which were exotic rarities for Whiterun. A particular white lily with vibrant orange streaks down its long petals caught his attention. He must have been staring awkwardly because the woman came out from behind her stand to wave a hand in front of his face.

“Good afternoon sir,” She greeted with a warm and smooth voice, “These are beautiful aren't they?”

As she motioned to the lillies, all Farkas thought was how the bright colored flowers might bring an equally bright smile to Téli's face. After a moment he managed a rough, “Mhm.”

The woman picked up an individual flower and caressed it carefully before holding it up close to his face. “It would be a great color for your home, it looks stunning against your skin tone.” She let the back of her knuckles graze his cheek momentarily.

“Ah,” Frakas mumbled, unsure of how to reply.

She continued to smile at him as she picked up a bouquet of other bright flowers. “The lily is a symbol of remembrance, best for funerals or a love lost. Maybe I could instead interest you in some multicolored primroses. They symbolize a never ending love. A strong, handsome fellow like yourself surely has a wife who would love a few primroses.”

“Uh No.” he said quietly, “No wife.” he lamented to himself.

As soon as he spoke, giving the response she was hoping for, the vendor stepped closer to him and placed her free hand on his upper arm. She hummed to herself in appreciation at the muscle there, but Farkas didn't really hear her. He stared blankly at her hand, not understanding why her touch felt so unnatural.

“Well, you could win over any woman with a bouquet like this. They're my favorite also.” She purred, not removing her hand.

“They are nice, but-” Farkas started before the woman continued.

“I could even give you some flowers in exchange for you having dinner with me this evening. Travel gets awfully lonely, I'd love the company.” The vendor squeezed his arm gently as she spoke.

He stood mystified, unbelieving that this woman was suggesting what she was. Yet, there was something refreshing about  someone expressing a clear interest in him. He opened his mouth to speak, but words didn't come. Luckily, a moment later the silence was broken by another voice.

“Farkas! Farkas!” Runa called out as she ran up to him. Lucia followed close behind carrying a small basket. “We bought sweets to eat after lunch!”

“Cinnamon sweet rolls!” Lucia chirped in agreement swing the basket in front of her.

His heart warmed at the sight of the two girls. It took barely any time for the girls to weasel their way into his life like Téli had. Before meeting them, he never gave much thought to having kids. However, getting to see how clever and full of zest they were was inspiring. He could see himself taking care of these girls for as long as they needed.

He turned to face Runa and the flower woman released him only to turn in their direction as well.

“Hello sweeties, do you like flowers?”

Lucia looked delighted, while Runa’s expression turned guarded. She looked up at the woman and then to Farkas as if waiting for his approval before she interacted with the woman. Lucia however, used to kindness from the local vendors smiled wide and spoke, “Our mamma loves flowers! She asks us to pick mountain flowers with her!”

It was then he noticed her, standing about thirty feet back, looking like an ethereal vision in her blue dress as always. Except something was...off. She was watching them all with her eyebrows knitted together and her bottom lip slightly pouted. Her sad expression didn't falter when their eyes locked, but she did look away almost immediately.

“Come on girls, we better get home for lunch.” She called out and then turned around and started walking away without looking back.

Both girls began to follow, Runa grabbing Farkas’ hand to drag him along too. The flower vendor called out something to him as he went, but he didn't acknowledge her words.

Lunch was awkward, Farkas found himself bumbling over his words trying to break Téli out of her despondency. For someone who was normally bubbly and talkative, it was hard to see her extremely quiet. Runa told an exaggerated story about dancing trolls and water serpents, but even that only earned a few nods and forced smiles from Téli. A couple times Farkas caught her looking at him. Each time she blushed despite her sad eyes and changed her gaze downcast.

After lunch the girls went outside to play tag. They asked Farkas to join them, however he couldn't pull himself away from figuring out what bothered Téli. He thanked her for the meal and offered to help her clean up, but she declined, busying herself with scrubbing a seemingly clean spot on the table.

“Téli?” He asked for the third time when she finally looked up at him.

“Hmm?” She mumbled.

“What's bothering you?” His voice sounded more desperate than he expected.

She shook her head, “I'm fine.” Before he could respond she added, “Shouldn't you get going? You probably have plans tonight…” she trailed off and looked away from him again. Moving to make a quick exit from the room, she pushed past Farkas and dashed up the staircase to the second story.

Plans tonight. She'd heard that. She’d heard that vendor ask for his company. Farkas’ eyes grew wide at the realization that she was upset because of that woman.

He had never run up stairs so quickly in his life.

She turned around from where she stood in the doorway to her room at the sound of him barreling up to her.  “I don't have any plans tonight.” He spoke in one breath.

“You could. That florist seemed rather taken with you. I'm sure she's riveting company.” Téli's words sounded hollow. She was shuffling her feet like she's done in the past when nervous.

Farkas shook his head, “Nah, not interested...Is that why you're upset?”

“I am not upset.” she mumbled to the ground.

“Yes you are.”

She sighed and took a long, slow breath before looking up at him. “Alright, Alright. I just.” She bit her bottom lip for a moment, then took one more deep breath.  “I didn't like the way she looked at you! I didn't like the way she propositioned you! Like she had some claim on you.” She sighed again, defeated. “Then I realized I didn't have a claim on you either. If you want to see her again, you should. She's very very pretty and I bet she's more open with her feelings than I am. Ugh-” She shook her head slightly. Her voice a whisper as she said, “I'm no good at this.”

“You don't need to be.” he said softly before chuckling, “Lassy, you should have realized by now I-.”

In a burst of courage he grabbed her shoulders and walked towards her smoothly and quickly, causing her to step back until she hit the side wall of her bedroom. She let out a squeaky gasp and looked at him with big gorgeous eyes, flustered by his actions. He took one hand and moved it up to her cheek. His thumb traced her bottom lip. Her lips parted slightly at his touch. Her breath against his thumb was intoxicating. ‘Now or never’, he thought.  

“I'm yours. Yours and yours alone. Not interested in anyone else.” He leaned in enough to rest his forehead against hers. “I thought that was obvious by now.”

Téli felt as if her heart was about to burst. It was beating so quickly she felt almost lightheaded. She held onto each of Farkas’ arms to keep from toppling over. He hummed gently for a moment, delighted at how Téli’s touch wasn't uncomfortable like that other woman’s. It didn't however steady Téli's nerves as much as she needed in that moment. She did the only thing she could think of to ground herself. Tilting her head upwards, she surged forward to kiss him.

---

[kiribaku-trash]

Chapter Five of An Explosive Tale of Love and Ships

Ao3

Chapter Masterlist

Chapter Four, Chapter Six

   “SOY SAUCE, KEEP THE SHIP STEADY. RACOON EYES, YOU CALL THAT MOPPING? YO, DROOLY, DON’T YOU DARE FALL ASLEEP!” Katsuki barked orders at his crew, storming around the deck.

          The witch was downstairs in a spare cabin. They had been sailing for a while; the royal ship had left a while ago, but whether they thought they were still chasing the Dragon or if there was some other objective, Katsuki was unsure.

         “Hey!” Kirishima chirped from behind Katsuki, startling him. The dragon grabbed his hand, dragging him to the starboard. “Look! Dolphins!”

         Sure enough, a pod of dolphins were swimming next to their ship. Katsuki was more interested in Kirishima than the dolphins, however, though he would never admit it. “So? It’s a fucking pod of dolphins. I see them all the time.”

        “Oh.” Kirishima seemed to wilt, and Katsuki wanted more than anything to take back his snarky comment. “I just haven’t seen them in a long time.”

        “... I guess they’re okay,” Katsuki mumbled, turning away to hide his blush.

        Kirishima beamed, and he leaned over the railing to stare at the dolphins.

       “Hey, Ei! Can I talk to you for a few minutes?” Ashido called from the other side of the ship.

       “Coming!” Kirishima let go of Bakugou’s hand and gave him a final smile before walking over to Ashido.

        The salty sea air had never felt so good against Katsuki’s burning cheeks. Kirishima had let go of his hand, which was a relief, but the fact that he almost missed the warm sensation of the dragon’s palms was a problem. He was glad they were moving. Kirishima’s voice carried from the other side of the boat, causing Katsuki’s heart to skip a beat. The captain decided it was best to leave before he someone noticed how flustered he was.

   His quarters weren’t the nicest, but they weren’t the worst either. He sprinted past the old dresser, which was covered in old papers and vials of ink. He pushed aside the tattered curtains and flopped face first onto the small pile of pillows laying at the head of the bed. He buried his head into the fabric with a frustrated scream.

   How dare that stupid dragon with his shitty hair and even shittier smile make him feel like his heart’s about to explode every time they spoke. He shifted onto his back so he could stare at the ceiling. He had just met Kirishima three days ago and somehow the stupid redhead managed to worm his way into Katsuki’s heart. He had never felt this way about anyone before in his life, he had no idea what to do. Should he tell Kirishima? He would probably be better off keeping it to himself until the feelings passed.

   But what if they didn’t?

   The thought brought a whole new wave of panic to Katsuki’s mind. He wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. What if they got married? What if Kirishima wanted kids? What if-

   His thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock on his door.

   “What fucking is it!” Katsuki shouted, not bothering to get up.

   “We’re anchoring the ship,” Sero called from the other side of the thin wood. “Gonna call it a night.”

   “Whatever,” Katsuki replied. He waited until the sound of footsteps faded before unlacing his boots and crawling out of bed.

   His bare feet hit the floor with a soft thud, each step almost silent except for the occasional creak of the floor beneath him. He didn’t feel like sleeping, so instead, he tiptoed through the hallways. Katsuki chose each step carefully, checking his surroundings every few minutes to make sure he didn’t wake anyone up. Each creak of the steps leading up to the main deck was pure agony to his ears, he gripped the railing so hard he nearly lost feeling in his knuckles trying to take most of the weight off of his feet. When he pushed open the trap door he was overwhelmed by the magnitude of stars that crowded the dark night sky.

   Katsuki pulled himself out of the hatch and let the trap door fall shut behind him. The deck of the ship was peaceful at night. There was no else to bother him as he gazed up at the moon. It was full, casting its pale light over the wood. The planks were cool against his feet, helping to soothe his burning thoughts. He padded over to the front of the ship, losing himself in his thoughts until he stopped. Sitting at the bow was a familiar redheaded dragon.

   Every part of Katsuki screamed at him to abort, to run away. So he did. He took a step backwards, but moment his toes hit the deck an awful whining noise came from the plank below. Kirishima whipped around, his eyes narrowed as he searched for the source of the sound. When he saw Katsuki a grin spread across his face, his cheeks were pink from the cold and a thin fog escaped his mouth with every breath. The dragon’s eyes shone so bright that they could’ve held all the stars in the sky above them.

   “Bakugou!” Kirishima sounded more surprised than enthusiastic to see Katsuki at that ungodly hour. He motioned for Katsuki to join him.

   The blond knew he couldn’t turn back. For the sake of his pride, he approached the dragon. As he came closer, he noticed that Kirishima’s smile was more forced than genuine and his reptilian eyes had turned bloodshot. Kirishima leaned backwards, using his hands for support. He took a deep breath.

   “What brings you out here so late?” Kirishima asked.

   Katsuki huffed and dropped to his knees next to the redhead. “I could ask you the same fucking question.”

   The chilly air seeped into his bones. It was almost enough to make his teeth chatter.

   “You aren’t exactly the most loved person, are you?” Kirishima stated. “I saw the way the people in the Inn looked at you.”

   Katsuki scoffed. “I don’t fucking care what they fucking think.”

   “Yeah,” Kirishima’s lower lip began to quiver. His eyes narrowed and he pulled his knees up to his chest. “I think a lot of people are scared of me too.”

   Katsuki didn’t think he had ever seen anyone look that sad in his entire life. No one had ever opened up to him in the slightest and the fact that Kirishima felt that comfortable around him was unnerving, to say the least.

   “You don’t seem that scary,” Katsuki muttered his breath. Sure, the razor claws and a row of pointed teeth had been strange at first but Katsuki couldn’t get the image of the way Kirishima crinkled his nose every time he got excited about even the smallest things. It was adorable. Wait. Since when was Kirishima adorable?

   Kirishima laughed. It was hollow and empty, more depressing than humorous. He squeezed his eyes shut. The crackle of bones shifting erupted through the silent air. Katsuki watched in horror as a large bulge took place underneath the skin of Kirishima’s shoulder blades. His claws grew longer, sharper and an inhuman screech escaped his lips as a pair of ruby-red wings exploded from his back. The thin membrane rippled in the wind and Katsuki guessed that they must have had a wingspan as long as the dinghy. The whites of Kirishima’s eyes turned yellow and patches of crimson scales blossomed on his skin.

   With a deep sigh, Kirishima folded his wings behind his back and hunched even further in on himself. “I told you I'm scary.”

   Katsuki was taken aback. He had no idea how anyone could call such a magnificent creature as a dragon ‘scary’. He reached a hand towards Kirishima’s shoulder, giving the redhead an awkward pat. Kirishima turned his head, his hair beginning to stand up in spikes and it was distracting as fuck.

   Katsuki didn’t have anything comforting to say. He was at a loss for what to do. He had spent so long suppressing his own emotions that he quickly realized he had forgotten how to deal with others’ as well. He opened his mouth but choked on his words; if it were anyone else in his place they probably would know exactly what to say. Eventually, Katsuki gave up and removed his hand, shuffling away from Kirishima.

   “Sorry,” Kirishima muttered after a while of gazing at the stars, “I didn’t mean to freak you out.”

   “The fuck?” Katsuki protested. “You didn’t fucking-”

   “I just wanted to see your reaction to this form.” He continued. “I’m not sure how you’d react if I went full dragon-”

   “What?” Katsuki blinked. “This isn’t ‘full dragon’?”

   Kirishima shook his head. “This is only about halfway. If I fully transformed I’d probably be too big for your ship.”

   Katsuki had never thought about how Kirishima had been labelled as a dangerous weapon until that moment. As a child he was told many stories of dragons attacking their kingdom, scorching their land and killing hundreds of people at a time. He had never really applied those stories to the person who had almost died in his arms as he carried him out of that tower. It was only then that Katsuki realized what Kirishima was capable of.

   “You know,” Kirishima started again, “You’re the first human I’ve met who hasn’t tried to kill me.”

   Katsuki scowled.

   “Or lock me away in some random tower and forget about me for twenty years.” He added. A mirthless smile spread wide across his face.

   “That place seemed like nobody even knew about it,” Katsuki said. He thought that since they were already talking he might as well ask the question that had been on his mind since rescuing Kirishima. “It was run down as shit. How the fuck did you survive that long?”

   “Um,” Kirishima said. He paused, his face set in a calculative expression. “From my understanding, most dragons age slower than humans. We also die from things like starvation or thirst a lot slower as well.” He fiddled with his thumbs nervously. “Although, our ageing process usually starts speeding up once we find a mate.”

   “Huh,” Katsuki had never been allowed to learn about the details of most magical creatures. After Endeavor had driven them out of the kingdom he had quickly erased most of their existence from the history books. Only stories about the death and destruction they had caused remained, although Katsuki had never really believed that it was the whole truth.

   “It’s kinda nerve racking, y’know.” Kirishima finally said. “You finally find someone you love and then that’s it, your life starts moving so fast that you don’t even have time to breathe before you die.”

   The cold finally got to Katsuki and a violent shiver forced its way up his spine. Kirishima took notice, he pursed his lips and in a second his wing shot out and wrapped around Katsuki’s shoulders. The blonde was pulled right up to the dragon’s body, he protested at first but quieted down after it became apparent how warm Kirishima was. The dragon’s core was overflowing with heat and it took all of Katsuki’s willpower to not snuggle up to the redhead and fall asleep right there. His cheeks were hot and he hoped that Kirishima would associate their pinkness with the biting cold around them.

   Kirishima’s face was also dusted with pink as he angled his head towards Katsuki. Their faces were close, too close.

   “What about you?”

   “...Hm?”

   Kirishima leaned away. “How’d this-” He waved his arms, motioning to his surroundings- “even happen?”

   Katsuki bit the inside of his cheek. Since Kirishima had shared so much it was only fair that Katsuki did the same. It was terrifying. He wasn’t really sure if he had actually told anyone about his life before he got his ship. He had left his past behind for a good reason and bringing it up then wasn’t something he was entirely ready to do.

   “I got tired of everyone’s bullshit,” Katsuki decided that a short, simple answer was the best way to go, “so I left.”

   “That’s it?” Kirishima asked. “I expected more.”

   “Well there isn’t,” Katsuki grumbled.

   Kirishima nodded. He yawned, blinking his eyes with tiredness. Katsuki stifled his own yawn and prepared himself to leave Kirishima’s warmth and head back to his cabin. He was too late. Kirishima’s head lolled to the side and fell against Katsuki’s shoulders, a soft snore escaping his lips. Katsuki tried to push the redhead off, but every time he so much as nudged the dragon away, Kirishima would mumble something intelligible under his breath and pull Katsuki closer. Eventually, Katsuki resigned himself to his fate as the redhead’s pillow and made a mental note to never underestimate the dragon’s strength again.

   He found himself nodding off as well. The gentle rocking of the boat and comfortable heat of Kirishima’s body caused his brain to fill with a tired fog. Soon enough, he had drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep.

   When Katsuki opened his eyes, they were flooded with sunlight. He dragged his hand through his hair, waiting for the cobwebs to clear from his mind. Something shifted next to him and Katsuki quickly recalled the events of the night before. He quickly pushed the dragon away, not wanting to spend any more time that close to Kirishima. The redhead woke with an indignant yell and put his hands out in front of him, just barely able to catch himself before falling off the edge.

   With burning cheeks and a deep scowl, Katsuki rose to his feet and dusted a spec of dirt from his sleeve. What was he doing? Falling asleep next to a stranger was dangerous enough… especially if that stranger was a dragon! It was becoming hard for Katsuki to keep reminding himself that he hadn’t even known Kirishima for a week. A soft snicker from behind him caused him to whip around. There stood Uraraka, giggling into her hand.

   “The fuck do you want?!?” Katsuki yelled.

   Uraraka snickered one last time. “You look adorable when you’re asleep.”

   “SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID PANCAKE-FACE I’M NOT ADORABLE FUCK YOU!!” Katsuki could feel his palms tingling. He looked down, only to see his gloves smoking.

   “What’s going on?” Kaminari emerged from his cabin. He had an even messier bedhead than usual, he blearily rubbed at his eyes as he took in the scene in front of him.

   Kirishima waved. Kaminari screamed.

   “WHAT THE H-”

   “Will you shut the fuck up?” Katsuki interrupted the other blond. “He can switch between dragon and human forms it’s not that hard to fucking understand.”

   Kirishima frowned. He rose to his feet and stepped over to Katsuki. “Didn’t I just explain it to you last night?”

   This time Ashido emerged, followed by Sero.

   The faerie gasped when she saw Kirishima. Her face lit up as she sprinted over to him.

   “You transformed!” she squealed.

   Kirishima nodded. “Yeah.”

   “It’s about time,” she said, “I was starting to think that you had gotten stuck.”

   “Kirishima can shapeshift?” Kaminari said. “Why doesn’t anyone tell me these things?”

   “Because you’re a dumbass,” Katsuki growled.

   Sero put a comforting hand on Kaminari’s back. “If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t know either.”

   “Not really,” Kaminari frowned. He continued to sulk as Uraraka piped up.

   “This is incredible!” She exclaimed, grabbing one of Kirishima’s wings in her hand. “I’ve never seen a dragon up close before,”

   “I would be more surprised if you had,” Kirishima shook his wing from Uraraka’s curious grasp. “So, how much longer until we reach your base?”

   Sero motioned towards the mass of land that had been previously hidden behind a dense fog. “We’re already here,”

[quartusbellum-blog]

BELLA for the role of  MARY MACDONALD, using the faceclaim KAT MCNAMARA.

I love what you’ve done with Mary! I got a very clear sense of her personality in your application. I really enjoyed your description of her role in the Ashen Phoenix, as well as her unwavering belief that people can’t change. It’s going to be very interesting to see that in play, so thank you so much for applying and welcome to Quartus Bellum! 

ooc details

Name: Isabella! You can call me Bella, though. Hi there.

Age: 22.

Pronouns: She/hers/her.

Activity Level: This month is less busy for me and I should be able to get on at least every other day for a couple hours at a time.

Other: The only trigger I have is incest, but it’s not a huge deal for me! Also, this group looks amazing and I’m so excited.

Acknowledgement: I acknowledge that the themes of this game may include triggering elements. I also acknowledge that my character may be harmed, coerced, or even killed (with player’s consent) during paras/events or may cause harm to or kill others during paras/events. - I acknowledge this note.

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general ic details

Name: Mary Gavina MacDonald

Gavina means “hawk woman” in Scottish.

Age: March 28, 1959 (Aires).

Ships: Literally, I’m open to everything and anything. Mary is pansexual, even if she doesn’t exactly know how to identify herself at this time. However, she’s genuinely skeptical of others and it takes a lot for her to actually become romantically involved with someone.

Gender/Pronouns: cis-female, she/hers/her.

Face Claim: Katherine McNamara, Zendaya Coleman (when writing this, pictured her as Kat!)

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biography:

TW: abuse.

Mary was born between wildflowers. Maybe it was fate when Patricia MacDonald lay on a cot just outside the small cottage of her best friend, unable to make it to the hospital. The wildflowers blew in the wind like wind chimes and when Mary was born, she did not scream. Instead, she giggled, as if the flowers were tickling her toes and she was alright with their saying hello.

Her mother was a wild woman; shunned by their small, and very strictly conservative, Scottish town for having a child out of an affair. To Mary, though, her mother’s wildness made her unique and she strived to be just as curious and observational as Patricia was. Mary would follow her mother with starry eyes, taking their lack of housing as an adventure. But there were days where Mary would be the one, alone, on her adventures. Although her mother was born of magical parents, she was a squib, and by association Mary was an outcast. They left the town only to find the grass isn’t greener and sometimes, when her mother was out trying to make them enough to get food for the next day, Mary would be the one bartering at markets, fixing old blankets, spotting the highest ground and the cheapest apple. Eventually, Mary’s sly fingers would get them abandoned houses, free snacks, and even new clothes.

Mary was known as the little girl who saved Patricia MacDonald. However, when she was old enough, her Hogwarts letter found them at an abandoned shack in Northern Scotland. Patricia would never say no to such an opportunity but her lack of surprise was not shared by her daughter. Mary had always thought her skills had been just good enough to be considered lucky, but as she realized she was a witch, it was obvious that magic played a large role in her upbringing. Her heart was not just set on Hogwarts but as soon as she stepped through the doors, she was home. There was food on the table, delicious food, every single night. She could hide in the library any time she’d like. The title of Gryffindor came as as surprise to her, as she always assumed she’d be Ravenclaw, but the Slytherin’s in the halls were even more shocking. She was so far removed from the world of magic that prejudices other than towards the poor had not occurred to her. Not silent about her feelings on this manner, Mary was often found sticking up for the younger Gryffindors, bravely confronting the Slytherin’s and often involving McGonagall (her hero and role model).  

The day Mulciber had enough was the day Mary decided that she would do whatever it took to stop these people. She was cornered in a bathroom stall and Mulciber used unspeakable curses and horrible whispers to tell her just what the people in Slytherin thought of her, and other half-bloods and muggleborns who’s blood did not run bright crimson. Mary reported the assault to McGonagall and the both of them stormed to Dumbledore; unstoppable. However, Dumbledore’s hands were tied. Mulciber could not, and would not, be touched. The rest of her sixth year was spent trying to pick up her pieces. She pushed away anything that might be considered friendship in order to focus on taking them down. The rage inside her was like a caged animal and it was not until summertime, back in their shack, that she finally let it out to her mother.

The following August, Dumbledore approached Mary about the Order and she did not hesitate before agreeing. Although she did not agree with Dumbledore’s decision, Mary would give him a chance to prove that he would, and could, save them all. She was one of the original members, devoting most of her final year to helping build the organization from the ground up. Mary was relentless in the Order, eager to learn more spells so that she could teach, dying to study wizarding history so she could learn from the past, and hoping that maybe, just maybe, they could change the world.

Mary would never regret this hopefulness, but it came back to bite her when, during a battle, her mother’s town was ransacked. Her mother was killed in the crossfire, a civilian casualty, that caused Mary’s life to flip upside down. The rage returned but this time she had no one to speak to. The hope flickered off, dying with the setting sun on the day of her mother’s funeral. That very rage boiled throughout the rest of the war and when they lost, she was not surprised. Unfortunately, giving up was not in her vocabulary.

When she did not have her mother to care for, Mary began taking care of the people around her. She would steal, find them shelter, and get through the doors that many of her muggleborn friends could not. The Ashen Phoenix rose from the, well, ashes and Mary was going to make sure that it soared. She was  sure if she could survive her mother having died for nothing. Mary will do anything it takes to make sure they win; no matter the cost.

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my character is:

Please Describe a Belief your character has that is wrong.

Mary does not believe people can change. After so much time spent trying to get others to be better and do better and understand that the world is not black and white, she has become tired. Her lips are chapped and her tongue is dry and she does not know how, or really want to, keep pressing people’s buttons to get them to see her point of view. Mary has a nasty habit of believing that she’s almost always right, although in matters of equality she knows that she is right. Maybe that’s a nasty thought, but Mary has had too much spent too much time in her life playing nice to all the wrong people. If you were a Death Eater, in her mind, you will always be one.

Address the differences between what your character is currently doing and what they would prefer to do?

Currently, Mary is the runner for the Ashen Phoenix. If she had to describe the position, she would call it a mix between a healer, a thief, and a tinker. Sirius may be the mother, but Mary heard just as many complains and concerns that she was going to fix. She had always been good with machinery, luckily enough for them, and she was able to hijack cars, fix old radios, and even combine some magic with muggle technology without the loss of function. If she were able to pick and choose her profession, though, Mary would love to continue that thread. She’d always been interested in how technology did not seem to operate around magic and Mary thinks that she could find the solution. A position in the Department of Muggle artifacts, or even an engineer in the muggle world, would be a perfect position. However, Mary knows that those thoughts are only dreams.

ooc questions

Writing Sample:

A single light flickered in the barn, casting a yellow glow that didn’t quite light the entire space. Mary slouched over a wooden desk, eyes fixated carefully on a tiny piece of machinery, one that might not have been visible to others without a microscope. Ever so carefully, she used her wand to slowly left a small section of the radio’s wiring. Closing her eyes, Mary allowed the spell to slip from her lips and the glow of the magic entered the radio. Bracing herself for impact, the radio sputtered once, twice, and then… it turned blue. A smile crept across her face, the first one that she’d managed since the shovels and the dirt and the goodbyes.

The day was for nightmares, Mary decided, but the night was for dreams.

Quickly now, she turned the dial on the radio and listened, softly to the breeze. The tracking spell had worked although Mary was not sure for how long. Her last couple attempts to blend technology and magic had backfired, although not quite catastrophically. A small explosion in the barn was a small price to pay for a potential piece of spy equipment. For a second more, Mary waited. She hoped. The radio did not sputter out, or explode for that matter, but the sound died just as someone was starting to speak. The hope faded from her eyes and she set her head down on the table, silent.

Maybe it wouldn’t have been the right person, but it could have been close. The attack on her town had left them all with little answers but Mary’s biggest question was just who had done it. She’d found scraps of black cloaks, one she would recognize no matter how scarred or ashen the material had become. Whoever had worn this burned her town to ash. Whoever had worn this might have burned her mother, too.

Her mind slipped back to the burial; to her mom sitting in that casket like a mannequin. Mary swore it couldn’t be her there, lacking the rose in her cheeks, and the daisies in her smile. The yellow and pink had disappeared as if they had been sucked out of her by a wand. Mary hated that magic had this sort of power. There were wondrous moments that magic could create but many forgot about the dangers. Mary had not forgotten, and she did not think she ever would.

Her breath was warm against her arm. Sticky. Wet. Mary pulled away and wiped away the tears that she hadn’t let fall at the actual funeral itself. Maybe a couple of hours was what she needed to finally let the tears out. Her shoulders began heaving, the storm coming, tears falling faster now, hitting the wood and changing the color, almost like a mood ring. She couldn’t stop, but she didn’t want to stop, because for the first time since she’d received her tragedy, for the first time since her mother had left the Earth, Mary recognized that she was gone.

The pain was there but, for once, the anger wasn’t.

Exploration:

one. I would love to see Mary confront Mulciber one day. I don’t know if they’re going to be a character in play, or if we would ever receive one, but I want that moment to happen. I picture her having steered clear of him the rest of 6th year and I would like for her to have her revenge, because, honestly, Mary is angry. Mary is angry and she needs an outlet, or at least a moment, to prove to herself that she can put that anger into the world and not have it bite her.

two. I’m so sorry these are all gonna be like Mary’s angry!! But she is! And she wants to break Dumbledore out of his jail cell. She knows he doesn’t deserve to be there and I always imagined him almost having a grandfather presence in her life. If she cannot break him free, she believes that she will never be able to win the war. Mary has been planning, scheming, working on a way to get him out. Whether or not that’s with other characters or with herself is something I could definitely talk to other players about, but I want her to be having this grand scheme to bring Dumbledore back. As if that would suddenly fix everything.

three. Maybe this is a basic one, but I would really love to see Mary open up to someone. She has walls up as high as the tallest tower at Hogwarts, and she usually tries to flirt and hide behind her true feelings in order to keep them pushed down. If she doesn’t listen to that little voice in her brain, she doesn’t have to face herself. However, I want her to find someone who forces her to think about herself and her own feelings. I want someone to bring out the good in her, even if for small minutes. Whether this is a best friend, or a potential romantic interest, it’s of no matter to me! I just would like to see Mary be able to have these moments and she needs someone to press her to do so.

four.  Last but certainly not least, I would like Mary to find out who her dad is. In my mind, I pictured him as a wizard who is now a priest, as he was a pureblood who fell in love with a Squib. I don’t know exactly how Mary would deal with this knowledge, as she never had to think about her father (her mother was all she needed). I would still like to see what happens. I also think that she would not appreciate the fact that he was in hiding all of this time when he could have been helping her.