#get a faithful (mostly) read of the characters without checking the novel. since shows DO change characrers a bit as needed

[mejomonster]

Well. Silent Reading chapter 12, where they talk about Fei Du's moms death and how he doesn't accept the conclusion, how Luo Wenzhou advises he at least try to move on emotionally. The way Fei Du is tapping a song on his cup (perhaps his moms), that he stops tapping when Luo Wenzhou hits a nerve and becomes like a statue--revealing his true emotions in a way he doesn't/can't in therapy. The grief talk he probably has needed to hear for a while, but first a very painful talk where there is no seeing eye to eye and no agreeing because they both have their reasons. And Luo Wenzhou turns off the petty conflict for it because Fei Du deserves to genuinely discuss it with Luo Wenzhou as level headed adults with their analysis if Fei Du wants to. And Fei Du is so emotional, and in the end as he puts his mask back up. (A note on the show version: some portions of this changed, the main dialogue stayed fairly true and the function of the scene. In both cases, this scene absolutely cuts up my heart ;-; ):

"Someone once said to me that ‘everything that happens in this world leaves traces,’ but whether you can find them depends on each side’s luck. Is your luck good this time?”

Luo Wenzhou suddenly froze. The blow-for-blow probing, bantering, and hinting vanished utterly from his face. For an instant the corners of his mouth were even pulled a little tight.

Luo Wenzhou subconsciously got his cigarettes out of his pocket, thought of something, and put them back.

Instantly there was deep silence between the two of them. Neither looked at the other. They only sat side by side with a distance of about one meter between them, like complete strangers.

“The windows and doors were locked. None of the rooms showed signs of forced entry. The most advanced security system of the time was entirely untouched.” Luo Wenzhou abruptly opened his mouth to speak, his voice very low and his speech very fast, as if he had already recited these words many times and could smoothly say them without missing a single punctuation mark.

“She had done her makeup and changed her clothes, even put on music. The scene had a certain feeling of ritual. There was a suicide note arranged on the writing desk next to her. It was analyzed, the handwriting confirmed to belong to the deceased. The person who had written the letter showed clear depressive tendencies, which tallied with her daily use of antidepressant medication. The deceased was an adult, with no illness or injury that may have led her to be unable to act for herself. No drugs sufficient to cause unconsciousness were found in her system. There were also no defensive wounds on her body.—That’s all the evidence we collected at the time. You were the one who reported the case. You reached the scene before we did. Unless you want to tell me that you hid some evidence back then, it was without a doubt a suicide.”

Fei Du didn’t speak. His sitting posture seemed very relaxed—legs crossed, upper body leaning forward slightly, one hand casually lying on his knee and the other holding a paper cup that was no longer steaming. His long and slender fingers were tapping out a beat on the rim of the cup, as if there was a melody no one else could hear filling the air.

“I said to you then, ‘Everything that happens in this world leaves traces, as long as it’s real. Without traces to support your opinion, however much you believe in it, it’s still only a dead end of the imagination.’ Fei Du, you may have had a certain intuition, but we can’t do our job based on intuition. My intuition tells me every day that I can make five million.” Luo Wenzhou’s gaze stopped on Fei Du’s fingers. Then, in an almost callously objective tone, he said, “And you know, there’s a theory abroad that says that if a person wants to kill herself, she may suddenly use some means to confess it to the people close to her—you heard her confession back then.”

Fei Du’s fingers suddenly stiffened.

Luo Wenzhou reached out his arm, pulled the paper cup out of his hand and put it aside. “If you really want to talk over this case with me, I maintain my judgment to this day—but it doesn’t matter whose judgment it is. That isn’t important anymore. She’s been dead for seven years. When the coffin is closed, you can judge a person’s life. The relevant evidence has all disappeared. This isn’t going to sound good, but if she’s reincarnated she’ll already be attending primary school. The living can cling on without letting go; it’s a form of emotional sustenance. But there’s no sense in blindly clinging to the wrong course.”

Maintaining his original posture, Fei Du sat without moving a muscle, as if he had turned into a statue.

Just then, Zhang Ting and the lawyer came out side by side, and Fei Du’s gaze moved slightly, giving off a trace of living energy.

“I don’t accept your conclusion, Officer Luo,” said Fei Du.

Hearing this, Luo Wenzhou wasn’t at all taken aback. He only shrugged.

Fei Du adjusted his jacket and stood to meet Zhang Ting and the lawyer. He looked down at Luo Wenzhou. There was no smile on his face; his expression was even somewhat somber. “But perhaps there’s some merit in your heartfelt advice.”

Luo Wenzhou was surprised, but after saying this, Fei Du once again put on his graceful mask and left with Zhang Ting. They didn’t have any further interaction.

[nightswithkookmin]

GOING ON A HIATUS

Thanks to everyone who's taken the time out to read my posts and has enjoyed it so far. It's really been fun and entertaining exchanging thoughts and having these much deeper ship discussions.

I thought this issue was gonna go away but I woke up this morning to more people messaging me about finding my last video analysis on several other platforms without appropriate credit.

But that's not disturbing. The disturbing part is the people sliding into people's DM'S on other platforms to get them to take down my video because they don't want people sharing my content on other platforms as they believe it would only make my blog popular.

For those worried about this whole credit business, thanks for showing this much concern for me? I really appreciate the love and concern if it's from a genuine place of concern. Thank you...

I think some of you already know this by now or might have figured it out, I am a law student, I am very much well aware what is and what isn't within my rights? Lol

I honestly didn't see this whole credit thingy as a big deal. It's not. Not to me. Lol. I repost people's photos without credit too all the time. Often, it's because I don't know who to credit and most time my lazy ass just forgets to. Lol. I think it's normal? It's inconsequential I mean.

The videos I use are usually often water marked by the appropriate owners so I don't go through the hustle of figuring this whole credit business out. If I should decide to come back here again I will check that habit of mine?

While this whole credit business is not a big deal to me, malicious slander and defamation to my character is and I don't take it lightly.

It has been brought to my attention that some Jikookers from Tumblr have since been sliding into people's DM's on other platforms asking them to take down my video and or remove the credit they give to my post.

They are telling people I am problematic, calling me the Taekook Lives of the Jikook community. That I have been spreading lies about Jikook, that the Jikook Tumblr community hates me or something like that and to further caricaturize me and make me appear more evil in order to get people to turn on me and hate me, they make up the most ridiculous lies about me claiming that I believe a notorious serial killer is innocent.

Now I have since deleted my YT account because I don't want my colleagues to find out I am into shipping too lol- shipping is a guilty pleasure of mine and I know how this fandom works unfortunately. I've been a silent part of it since 2014. I mean it's started already. The Doxing and shit.

The original post under which these replies are from couldn't save sadly as my account has been deleted but you can see from my notifications the general feel of what my interests outside shipping looks like.

I am interested in a myriad of topics, from literature, Aliens, writing, Harry Potter, history, activism, advocacy, philosophy, law, politics, NASA, and mystery and murder among other things.

My quora is mostly filled with notifications from my Book community and True crime community and often I do share my thoughts and answer questions with regards to the psychology of murderers, legal evidence, notorious villains in literature- well I guess now you know the kind of lawyer I want to be if and when I'm able to complete law school.

But what has my interest in these topics got to do with Jikook and shipping please?? How does this prove I hate Jikook and spread lies about them?

This Kookie Min Monsta person slipped into someone's DMS and asked the person who had put up my video analysis to take it down or discredit me because to her I am problematic. She is not the only one.

You want so bad to paint me black- no pun intended just to win an argument? You claim I am the evil malicious person here but I am not the one sliding into people's dms trying to take credit away from people for their hardwork, spreading hate and negative energy, making things up to manipulate people's perception of others and get them to hate and turn on them- and all because of A SHIP? Damn. This is pathetic.

Who died and made you the gatekeeper of the jikook shipping community? Honestly antics like these don't work on me try again.

I made a video commentary on my Booktube YT account- yes I am part of the book YouTube community as well sue me or better still slip into their inboxes and tell them I voted for Trump therefore I hate chipmunks.

The commentary I made on YT months ago was when I was in the highs of finding a new passion and it was on Ann Rule's book, The Stranger Besides Me- a true crime novel on Ted Bundy which I found so poorly written that at the end of the book it left with me wondering whether or not Ted Bundy was guilty at all!

The Author's writing style which deviates from most writing styles of True Crime novels I have read gave me trust issues as I stated in the video. It felt more as if she was writing a made up fictional novel than an actual True Crime novel but because she knew Ted Bundy in person she made it seem as if we just had to believe her account.

Then there was this whole thing about the police not being able to match the DNA samples taken from his rape victims, to his own Semen because his Semen was DNAless- in lay man's terms. I'll spare you the technicalities involved.

As I stated in that video, I do believe Ted Bundy was guilty but I do not have much faith in the Judicial system, or criminal procedures or even the Author of that book- a sentiment most people within the true crime community share as well. We just had differing views on whether the writer's style took away from the narrative and waters down on the extent of Bundy's guilt.

We had a Similar conversation about Chris Watt. If the community I was engaging in didn't have a problem with my commentary why do you? Please don't meddle in things you know nothing about. It's embarrassing.

The conversation about whether or not Ted Bundy is innocent is moot but a philosophical one. It has nothing to do with Ted Bundy's guilt but more so the criminal procedures involved in his case and the different accounts that exists surrounding his case.

He was electrocuted, he confessed to his crimes no damn person with brains would think or assume he is innocent and I never said anything of that nature drew any conclusions to that effect.

Besides, I moved on from Ted Bundy a long time ago. Now I am into the Serial Killer who writes death poems and signs it off with drawings of the size of his dick at his crime scenes- mind your own business please or don't and let's have an intellectual discourse about him? Lmho.

I am also into cat memes if you care to know and have a whole IG dedicated to cat memes. I believe human beings are the most dumbest species in all the galaxies and when the Aliens arrive I am snitching.

When my mind is at rest, I often wonder if Aliens have masculinity complex and if they do whether or not their masculinity is contingent on the size of their dicks or whether they have to engage in a battle to the death with an alien grizzly bear to determine who is the man.

I love BTS memes too- a little too much and often end up debating over the internet with random people over whether BTS memes are funnier than cat memes- I'm weird, true. But how does all of that make me a bad person?

It's crazy how these people can go on these other platforms to ask people to take down the credits to my posts as well as my posts itself but can't ask people who run to these other platforms with misinterpretations of my work to take those down.

Instead they come on here to call me out for people's interpretations of my work?? It doesn't work that way. You are the author of your own opinion and interpretation of other people's work. You don't call out the original author for someone's opinion of their work. If that were so I would be emailing Stephanie Meyer for Anna Todd and her After series. Get some education.

I have since blocked this person and others whose Tumblr I have been able to find thanks to all those that's helped me finding them on here.

My gf also tried reaching out to the persons who shared my post after we realised this was becoming an issue and had asked them to credit her or my blog- but honestly I don't care about that yet she won't give it a rest. Lol. My ride or die this one. Sigh.

However, we realized soon that this is not about 'stealing' credit- can't call someone out for not giving credit when I suck at that myself. Lol.

This is about people's malicious intentions and their attempts to silence me and take away my right to freedom of expression however way that they can. This is wrong and evil.

I honestly don't care for all these ship politics these people are engaged in. I've had enough intelligent conversations to know the distinction between arguments that flows from bruised egos and actual conversations around a subject matter.

This whole I am right, she is wrong politics... y'all get that the point of having an opinion is not to be right, right? We all cant have the same perspective and you can't call someone a liar for holding views that is different from yours. That is a bizarre mentality to have.

As I stated in my post, that content I made was a rebuttal to the Taekook theories running around on the internet alleging JK glared at Tae when he pulled on his shoulder because he was jealous Tae and Jin were having fun behind him. He wasn't. He was worried Tae was gonna expose him and JM holding hands behind Suga.

If you don't think they were holding hands then Taekookers were right and his reaction was because he was Jealous of Taejin I guess...

But thats your truth. That's not my truth. I don't believe Taekook is real. JK isn't jealous of Taejin he is not Twelve- but then again he was sneaking around behind Suga holding his boyfriend's hands so I guess he is twelve? Lol. Jikook!

Do you.

But please stop the evil malicious attacks and seek immediate help. There is such a thing as right and wrong and this is just plain wrong. Your Karma and chakra are in the negative nodes and you need to fix it. It is not funny anymore.

Thank you to everyone who has shown genuine concerns for me in the past few days and thank you so much for trying to stand up for me. There are good people on here and I have met and interacted with a lot of them and thank you so much for such a wonderful experience and insightful discussions.

I don't hate people because of our differences in thoughts, beliefs, opinions. There's always room for dissenting opinions in every sphere. At the very least, we can agree to disagree and shake on it. But You can't make up shit about people just to prove your opinion is right and their opinions and views which differ from yours are 'wrong.

I am not a victim though, and they are not bullies, psst. They are just vile pathetic human beings exposing the greens of their insides. What you do says more about who you are as a person and human being. And this is who they are.

Just be a nice decent human being. That's what this world needs. Fix whatever is broken inside of you and free your mind and spirit. Hate is never the answer.

I'm going to be away for a while because I have studies, work and other interests I want to pursue at the moment- it's just my AADD flaring up so if you see me henceforth raving about Nana at least you'd know why. Lol. She's wrecking my Jimin bias. Lmho.

Spread positivity, do the right thing, stand up for a good cause and keep supporting Jikook. Jikook is real.

Until we meet again.

Signed,

GOLDY

[jedi-order-apologist]

Hello there! Could you maybe put together small SW novels recommendation list? You reference books often and I assume you can suggest a few good ones that shed light/give more insight into the Jedi culture. Thank you for your blog and have a good day 💗

Thank you! I hope you have a good day too.

I actually haven’t read that many Star Wars books, all things considered - there are a lot, and I’ve barely scratched the surface of the prequel era stuff, let alone the rest of the franchise. I only recently started getting into the books, and there’s probably a lot more really good ones out there that I just haven’t had the chance to get to yet.

What I could do is go through what I have read and give my opinions on those. So far, in no particular order, I’ve read:

- The novelizations for the prequels and some of the original novelizations for the OT. More on my thoughts on those here (and specifically for the ROTS novelization here), but in summary: TPM novelization is a bit weak, AOTC novelization is decent and really helped sell the romance to me in a way the film fell flat for me, ROTS novelization is nothing short of phenomenal, ROTJ novelization is also pretty good, I don’t remember the ESB novelization enough to say anything on it, and I never read the ANH (or technically just Star Wars) novelization. I’d say they’re worth checking out at least once.

- Shatterpoint. I really like this one, it deals a lot with Mace struggling with the dark side, and it captures the idea of falling to the dark side as something rooted in defeatism, which really resonates with my interpretation. There’s quite a bit of discussion of Jedi philosophy and why they do and believe the things they do (or at least how Mace Windu sees it) - I’ve cited it before in my meta because I think it lays out pretty well why they resist the dark side. It also deals a lot with the costs of war - especially psychologically. There’s also a decent element of Jedi as family through the father-daughter relationship of Mace and Depa. On top of all of that, it’s very well written (same author as the ROTS novelization). I strongly recommend this one, though be warned that it is a very heavy, brutal book - oh, it’s not completely bleak, and it has it’s moments of humor, but it is not a happy story. It ends in victory, both in the immediate situation, and with Mace coming to terms with some of what he’d been struggling with, but I wouldn’t call it a happy ending, more that…well, as Mace says, he’s the last one standing.

- Yoda: Dark Rendezvous. I read this one most recently, and I made a long post on why I absolutely loved it. It’s not perfect but I think it’s the best portrayal of the Jedi in the books that I’ve come across so far - this book really goes hard on the “Jedi as family” idea, which I love, and there are really good conversations on (and inspiring examples of resisting) the dark side, and working through but not giving into grief. Everyone should read this book, it shows the Jedi as an inspiring people with so much tenacity and compassion, doing their best. And it eviscerates every bit of nonsense about the Jedi (and especially Yoda) being “emotionless” or “loveless”- it’s full of amazing passages that are absolutely perfect responses to these notions, direct refutations of them even (as well as refutations about the idea of the dark side having any kind of merit at all) because they get slung around in the story by a lot of the characters. If I could only pick one Star Wars book to suggest someone read, it would be this one, absolutely.

- Kenobi. Do you like Westerns and a sad Obi-Wan with a chronic hero syndrome that doesn’t help him with the whole ‘staying under the radar’ thing? If yes, you will probably like this book. It doesn’t really get much into Jedi culture, since…well, they’re dead, and most of the book is written from an outside perspective, not Obi-Wan’s. I think that was a good choice, because while he’s understandably going to be very sad during this time (it takes place during his very early days on Tatooine), constant exposure to that, in my opinion, would overdo it and wear out the audience. So the outside perspective of how sad and weird he is, where the characters don’t understand the context behind his behavior, but the audience does, works really well. I have some issues with it - for instance, while it’s kind of hilarious how much everyone wants to jump his bones in this book, I do wish that they’d kept the chemistry between Obi-Wan and Annileen strictly platonic (and the language around romance in this book rubs me the wrong way). And how people find out his last name is a bit contrived. But it’s a decent read that I’d recommend.

- Jedi Apprentice (series). I’d recommend this with the caveat that you have to go into it keeping in mind that it’s written for younger readers. Which absolutely does NOT mean it’s all fluff and sunshine and rainbows, very far from it (I call this series “Obi-Wan Kenobi’s Collection of Childhood Trauma” for some very good reasons, and the fact that he tries to sacrifice himself to suicide-bomb a door open with the slave collar wrapped around his neck before he even gets taken on as a padawan is just one of them), but there’s a lot of stuff that…doesn’t feel like it was explored fully to an adult reader’s satisfaction. It has a lot of the usual kind of fridge logic that often comes into play with kids’ media, and while it was written to be favorable towards the Jedi, that fridge stuff gets taken by fandom as reasons to criticize the Jedi quite often. More on that here.

- Cloak of Deception. This one’s…okay? It does spend quite a bit of time with the Jedi, but it feels pretty surface level. Luceno’s strength is in the fantasy space politics; for whatever reason his character interactions always fall flat for me, though I’m not sure if I can articulate why they’re so unsatisfying to me outside of a handful of good moments. But if you’re looking for a look into the politics leading up to TPM (or at least, Legends take on it), this is (one of) the books to look at. I say one of because I actually read Darth Plagueis first, and there is a bit of overlap.

- The Approaching Storm. This is the lead-in book to AOTC. It does a decent job with a look at the Jedi, I think, with a few snags (Barriss straight-up heals brain damage/mental illness to the point of complete personality changes, which seems way outside Jedi abilities to me, and there’s a bit of “maybe we shouldn’t take people from their families” angle instead of the Jedi as family angle). Also for some reason it refers to Barriss and Luminara as humans. And while the book tells us a lot about how important it is that the Jedi negotiate this conflict, most of their actual obstacles are getting places, with the negotiation itself getting glossed over. But it was a decent read, I think.

- Labyrinth of Evil. This is another Luceno book, this time for leading up to ROTS. The character interactions worked a little better here - or at least they had more of their moments - Anakin basically going “Marriage what marriage I don’t see a marriage” in front of Obi-Wan was pretty damn funny…and everyone knows the “infinite sadness” line that follows off of that. I’ll be curious as to what the current continuity gives us for what set off the invasion of Coruscant, because this (as part of Legends) gave us a pretty good reason for it. I’d recommend it, again, for the examination of the political situation, and there’s some decent action in here too. There’s a few insights into the Jedi but it’s hit or miss whether I agree with them, and they’re not the focus.

- Darth Plagueis. This one’s probably the best of Luceno’s books (that I’ve read), but it’s not Jedi-friendly. Most of that’s because, well…it’s from the Sith’s perspective, so they’re not going to be very pro-Jedi. I’m mostly okay with that because a lot of their criticism of the Jedi is very clearly coming from an obviously bad faith position (”the Jedi let the Republic decay” the Sith say as they devour a man’s heart and talk about how the Sith need to make all the problems of the Republic worse), although there’s one scene at the end that I really don’t like because it appears to really claim that the Jedi would’ve told Anakin to never talk about his mother, which doesn’t match up with, well, AOTC, for one thing, or just my impression of them in general. But what this book does do well is a look at how the Sith influenced the political situation, and a lot of midichlorian lore (seriously, this book feels like a middle finger to prequel hate - “oh you thought the fantasy space politics were boring? You thought midichlorians were stupid? Here’s why you’re wrong”). Luceno’s way of doing character interactions actually serves this book really well, because the Sith are able to be written as the focus characters without making them sympathetic in the least. If you’re looking to get invested in characters, probably not the book for you, but if you’re looking for fantasy space politics, it’s pretty good.

- Rogue Planet. This one has a good interpretation of the Jedi, I think, though you do have to contend with the “written before AOTC” issue of authors not realizing that Jedi weren’t supposed to get married and have children. But I liked the look at how they handled discipline - Anakin gets in trouble, and he’s brought before the Council, and the whole process is about questioning him to get him to realize and admit what he did wrong, not punishment. They then make the decision to redirect his energy into something productive by sending him and Obi-Wan on a mission. Also, Anakin sees a Jedi therapist at the end of this book, so it’s a good one to throw back at anyone who claims that the Jedi never helped him or that the Jedi don’t do therapy. But…plot-wise…it’s a little weak, mostly in that not much is resolved because it’s mostly setting up for stuff that won’t pay off until much, much further down the line (as in, whenever the Yuuzhan-Vong show up). The ship-growing thing was cool though.

- Wild Space. If you’re looking for a ridiculously dramatic Obi-Wan whump fic that’s one step away from sticking Anakin, Obi-Wan, Padmé, and Bail in a foursome, this is the book for you. If you’re looking for things like accurate characterization, an interpretation of the Jedi consistent with the films, believable interpersonal communication, or an actual plot…you will be sorely disappointed by this book.

- Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth. This is the sequel to Wild Space. It has a second part, Clone Wars Gambit: Siege, which I have not been able to bring myself to read, which probably tells you all you need to know about my thoughts on the first one, though you can read more about them here. In short, I strongly do not recommend this book at all, and find it to be pretty terrible characterization (even though it’s played for sympathy) of the Jedi and especially Obi-Wan. Wild Space at least has absurdity going for it. Stealth does not.

And that’s it! That’s all I’ve read so far. I’m sure not everyone will agree with my opinions, but in terms of my personal recommendations/non-recommendations, this is what I have.

[juleswolverton-hyde]

Word by Word | 02

Genre: Fluff, Romance, University/College AU

Pairing: Graphic design student!Bangchan x Literature student!/Irish!Reader

Warnings: Swearing (but what can you honestly expect when dealing with an Irish person?)

Summary: An ancient saying dictates that polar opposites attract, which is proven once again once an introverted whiskey-loving aspiring author meets a fairly extroverted boy initially proposing to survive the loneliness brought about by academic administration together.

But soon the meaning of ‘together’ expands as personal creative worlds are explored and understanding stirs up hidden emotions.

Masterlist

Previous part / Next Part

In life, nothing goes according to plan for Fate is cruel and God is dead. There is no other explanation for the amalgamation of desperately ironical chaos which follows in the wake of the checked-in transport card going to the steady place by the window all the way in the back of the bus while blasting music. To be more precise, it comes in the form of bleached locks also lost in songs, cruel enough due to the circumstances to unapologetically settle down on the empty seat that cannot be occupied fast enough by throwing the habitual laptop bag onto it.

Oh, for feck’s sake. Alright, lass, just keep calm and read yer book. Just don’t look and... fuck, he’s looking. Calm down and fake ignorance!

Out of the corner of the eyes, a glint is beheld of jasper eyes staring interestedly at the cover of the current read, clearly trying to make out the title partially obscured by cramped with timid fingers while every thought is overrun by the scent of the widespread ocean lapping at the shore mixed with a light hint of coconut. However, impossible as it might seem, a steady yet vague focus is kept on the letters shaping the memoir of a bookseller and good faith is put in the general universally acknowledged fact that earbuds in is equal to the meaning of “leave me alone”.

Though some, like the fairly unwelcome stranger, never grasp this simple meaning.

‘Good book?’ AirPods are taken out in favour of understanding while patiently awaiting a response, continuing to gaze at a rapidly becoming distracted soul heavily debating whether or not to reply.

‘Sorry, what?’ Despite still sounding annoyed, the level of irritation is considerably lower than when speaking to another person asking the same thing and that is quite a curious occurrence for strangers are kept at bay at all costs and by any necessary means such as music.

Songs which are weirdly put to rest without hesitation. 

At seeing uncomprehending brows knit together, fortunately failing to see a part of the confusion is also turned inward at a fluttering heart and discombobulated thoughts, platinum strands elaborate on the initial inquiry. A long finger rises and points at the cover of the novel in a manner that should not be deemed as cute yet is. ‘The book. Is it any good?’

Neither should speech come as difficult as it does, stuttering normally entirely out of the question as well as the want to expand on the curt reply. ‘Uhm, y- yeah. It is.’

The response evokes a bubbly giggle which miraculously turns up the temperature in the vehicle on its way to the university, surely painting cheeks with a roseate flush. Judging by the mesmerized sparkling irises staring back in unwavering contact, they do. ‘That’s not a whole lot to go on. What’s it about?’

How can I act like this? Get yersel’ together, Y/N, and act as you would during an event. Be a cold professional.

A splendid plan that is always immediately resorted to in similar situations because it offers a sufficient amount of social protection. Moreover, it nullifies any further advances pursuing the conversation as it employs the harshest coldness of politeness.

That is the case under normal circumstances. 

But not now.

Now there is nothing but an oddly enchanted girl stammering while explaining the premise and cause of the diary written by a Scottish bookseller, gradually becoming more and more flustered with every word that flows from lips eager to engage. In the meanwhile, focus is kept steadily on the friendly handsome face intently listening with genuine interest, clearly doing so in delight.

‘So, uhm, tha- that’s the p- pre- premise.’

‘Huh, sounds interesting. Maybe I should read it.’

‘You should!’ The suggestion ignited a giddiness preserved for private moments with Grandfather, particularly on whiskey nights when books are the sole other companions in whose company to rejoice. ‘I- I mean, if y- ye want to. You ob- obvi- obviously don’t have to.’

‘I mean it, I’ll check it out. Wait, I haven’t even properly introduced myself. Hi, I’m Chris. Or Chan or Bangchan. Whatever you prefer.’ The last bit is added shyly, a careful smile ghosting over pale pink lips while a trustworthy veined hand reaches out.

And is taken for a strong handshake that clearly surprises the lad. ‘Y/N.’

‘That��s a firm hand.’ Both barely suppressing a gasp for different reasons, gripping digits swiftly unravel. Personally, it is because of a sense of being attacked on a womanly front while never having been bothered by it, only endeavouring to act entirely ladylike on important occasions. Until someone cannot shut their gob properly. In case of the lad smelling like a beach day, a grimace as if mourning the loss of contact flashes over the composed expression trying to look merely surprised yet fails in doing so. ‘Which is good, because it signifies a strong character.’

Distant remorse laces the elaboration on the original response, jasper eyes averting from a panicked face to the novel put down. Picking up on this, bookish fingertips rapidly retracted to a denim lap graced with the sarcastic memoir creep ever so slightly towards the edge of thighs to feel the warmth of ones still formed as if they were enveloping those that ran away.

But stop and flee once more.

Falsely calm.

Acting.

Though they are not doing so in the desire to get to know the boy showing sincere interest in a cold professionally introverted and, above all, unlovable girl.

‘Whe- Where are y- ye from?’ To keep the exchange going, a natural question follows from what has been quietly observed from speech.

‘Hm?’ Eyes wide, the brooding grim mood fades from chiselled features and morphs into curiosity due to incomprehension with a tilted head.

‘Yer ac- accent. You’re not from a- around here.’

‘No, I’m from Australia. I moved here recently to study.’ A playful grin promises that the same observation pertaining to the manner of speaking has been made as well, counterattacking the question by means of a proposing comment. ‘But you have an accent as well.’

‘I’m actually from around here, but thanks to Charles I got the good ol’ Irish accent.’ Composure has been regained entirely, mostly thanks to the fact the matter comes up frequently whenever accompanying Charlie to foreign publishing events where everyone always seems surprised to hear from the north.

‘Charles?’

‘My grandfather. He’s the one who raised me.’ Nothing is said about the family name out of a conscious disdain to be associated with a great author instead of being seen as an original person and novice writer. Although, mayhaps it is more of an unconscious endeavour since the thought of even mentioning a surname does not comes up.

‘What about your parents?’

‘I’d rather not talk about them, Chris.’ A brief look out the window shows the long line of variously branded cars in front of a steady red light letting solely up to three pass before halting the ever-growing queue, every driver showing impatience in a fashion as diverse as the range of names on the trunks. Next to the bus is a jet black Volkswagen Polo, a father driving while the mother and lone daughter are chattering away.

 That could’ve been me. If only life had been different. If only I wasn’t a bastard.

‘Sorry, I didn’t know it’s a sensitive topic.’ The remorse is more prominent in display than awareness thinks to let filter through to the world, curly platinum strands leaning in apologetically despite not being at fault when reverting attention to Chan.

‘You couldn’t have known, so it’s fine.’ Regardless of sounding as if nothing is wrong, the deeply-rooted pain of being raised in a good yet different life with a father figure rather than an actual parent nevertheless colours the used tone.

Withal, and fortunately fluidly, the subject changes to something casual creating a grander sense of comfort. ‘You said you came here to study?’

To forget what could have been.

Lips part as if to protest but change their mind at the last second, going with the flow and thusly leaving the previous topic behind. ‘Yeah, I did. I’m studying graphic design, but added a literary course to my curriculum this last part of the semester. Unfortunately, all my friends have either chosen a different course or are doing a whole other study.’

‘Then you and I are on the same boat.’ Unintentionally, there is a question of teaming up through the absence of familiar faces placed in other workgroups if present at all. And it is weird it is there at all since loneliness is nothing new and actually bearable, though a little bit more when being in the company of a nice character.

‘Wanna stick together and try to survive?’

Had another person been asked this, no doubt the chance to have a familiar face for support would be taken advantage of. However, it is not so in the case of a bastard who is apparently in the way. Easy to discard, as has been made evidently clear by the monsters that should have raised her instead of the other glorious bastard under a swearing whiskey roof shared with two cats from Inferno.

Trustworthy in action, honest in words, true in sincerity of company.

Just like the aura of the newly met fellow student looking like a puppy anticipating a consenting reply, excitedly wagging an imaginary tail but trying to suppress any signs of enthusiasm under a veil of patience. Still, the gloss over cheerful eyes and pursed lips indicate hoping for the best, despairing when being denied. Henceforth, while the persuasion of attitude comes second in the factors of changing minds, the proposal is accepted gladly with the brightest contained smile that has been given to someone in a long period of time, honest in meaning. ‘I’d like that.’

‘You don’t have to.’ Despite agreeing to the plan, understanding disappointment rings in the taken on tone of speech, Bangchan pulling away barely noticeably yet introducing a familiar abyss that makes the heart sink to the deepest depth it knows.

‘What makes you say that?’ Maintaining the facade of ignorance to hide the unintentional sensitive pain, the face of a summer beach day is carefully analyzed in the hopes of finding an explanation for what has been done wrong.

Why the truth cannot be seen when it has risen from beneath the rose.

‘You seem reluctant.’ The fingers held earlier in a friendly handshake dig their nails in the fabric of the seats to hide the sadness thanks to suspected denial.

But, just this once, there is a wholehearted agreement.

An exception.

For him.

Notwithstanding, the mirage of happiness fades after being built so carefully, flowing down the melancholic stream of the consciousness forever stuck in its grasp with a lowering voice and averted focus. ‘It... it’s a bad habit. A likely wrong thinking pattern.’

‘I don’t understand. What are you thinking?’ Brows knit as the Australian boy stares on in wonder, in need of an explanation to lift the mystery of the cryptic response. In fact, the weird urgency in the inquiry hints towards honestly pondering what makes a mere stranger sympathize with Atlas.

A train of thought which is disregarded by a self-mocking comment of no importance, somberly mumbled with a shake of the head. ‘Nothing. You’ll think me a drama queen.’

Because everyone who knows the truth has judged its teller as such.

An attention seeker.

But why then is she alone?

Dismissed?

But not by Chris, in whose nice to listen to voice has slipped in strong determination underlined with personally deemed misplaced worry. However, perhaps if it is truly so, it would not be evident in the overall distressed attitude sitting on the next seat. ‘No, Y/N, I won’t. I want to know and we’ve still got a ways to go before we’re at the university anyway. Please, tell me about what’s weighing you down.’

We.

Us.

Two.

Of us.

A pleasant notice that is nullified by the knowledge of the inevitable walking away because this lie has been heard one too many times by the grandsons and sons of famed writers who are in contact with Charlie. ‘You’ll discover soon enough, Chan.’

A moment of silence passes, gazes averted and one steadily kept on the memoir of a bookseller with the need to escape and wander alone again. Dwell in familiar solitude and curl up inside it.

Running away is always easier with music. Henceforth, digits already reach towards Airpods and phone.

But are halted by slender fingers wrapping around the forearm, asking for attention with a light squeeze followed by a soft-spoken call. ‘Y/N?’ Kind happiness timidly filters through in the visage of the chatty lad when looking up again, cheerfulness forming a proposal. ‘Shall we first get some coffee after we arrive and walk to the classroom together?’

Curiously, the emphasis on the concept of together remains, thus also continuing to stress the overall paradoxical importance of the word which only enhances the wonder about why contact would want to be had at all.

 Why me? Why “us”? Why “we”?

As if reading the train of thought, Chan voices the answer to the unspoken rampant inquiries. ‘Because everyone deserves to have at least someone for support.’ Teeth bite down on the lower lip, the corners of the mouth wanting to curl up but hesitating to do so. ‘And... I want to see you smile again.’

‘My smile’s fecking horrible.’

Don’t go effing and blinding. So much for that.

They shape themselves into a warm smile regardless, an adoring sentiment that filters through into sincere speech. ‘No, it’s not. Happiness looks good on you.’

The heart flutters at hearing the warmth and unknowing how to deal with the show of affection towards a mere stranger, the book which had been put to rest for a wee bit is picked up again to hide the likely very carmine flush dusting over heated cheeks. Adorable laughter sounds from behind the safe protective walls of pages, the sound enhancing the furious blush following what was surely wrongly heard but which was interpreted as a muttered under the breath “cute”. However, eyes do not shift to check the truth, having no courage to face Bangchan while being an uncharacteristic emotional mess.

The bus starts moving.

And so do we.

In music and literature.

Word by word.

[ornament-of-rhyme]

Hi! I read your Spazkins fanfictions and I think they're really adorable! Can you perhaps give us some headcanons about them?

Hi there! Despite what it may seem,considering how long it’s taken me to reply to you, I am goddamnstoked that you asked about this! (I am so sorry to keep you waiting,though.) Thank you for asking, and thank you very much for reading mystories. I’m happy you liked them.

As the length of this post can attest,I have a lot of feelings about these characters to share with anyonewho will listen, but I must confess that many of my headcanonsdevelop during the writing process. Seeing as I’ve only written acouple of short fics for this pair, I still haven’t developed myversion of them as much as I would like. However, I do have someheadcanons, both for these characters as individuals and as a couple.It’s entirely possible they’re not exactly interesting HCs,but they help me flesh out the characters as I continue working withthem.

Before I go on, I want to take a moment to state that these are only headcanons, interpretations, and observations, not things that I am trying to present as fact or push into fanon. I’m just having too much fun with these characters.

Since you read my stories youalready know, but for anyone else who stumbles upon this, when Iwrite these characters I use the names Gilbert “Gil” Braun akaSpaz, and Edwin "Eddie/Ed” Hopkins. I’m also throwing in a fewheadcanons about another background character in the film, listed inthe credits simply as Stick, though I call him Norman “Norm”James. In my mind, he’s Gil’s best friend, so he’s relevant toSpazkins in that way.

This cutie is Stick, by theway:

Now, on to the headcanons! Hopefully Ican put them in some sort of coherent order. (Note from future Orn:This post oscillates between being a disorganized essay and a list, but hopefully it’s intelligibleanyhow!)

I’ll start with Gil and Norm, seeing asI headcanon them as having known each other the longest out of thesethree. In fact, I like to think Norm was Gil’s first friend atWelton.Norm was given the nickname Stick by his peers becausehe is the smallest kid in their year. Seriously, look at the guy.

Stick indeed.

I began to associate him with Spazbecause the two of them are seen with the Poets multiple times in thefilm—including at meals, where they are the only two non-Poets atthat table. I imagine they have complementary personalities, and werefast friends because of it. Likely they were drawn to each otherbecause of the things people think are odd about them; namely, Gilhaving health problems and Norm being small and thin. I headcanonthat Gil and Norm are able to bond over being avid readers of sci-finovels and pulp fiction, and once they’re out of school they becomeequally eager viewers of The Twilight Zone. (The latter, Edwin findshimself enjoying as well.)

In my mind, Norm is related in some wayto Nolan. Grandfather, uncle—I don’t know how yet, but I amdetermined to work this into one of my future stories. Due to hisrelationship to the dean, he isn’t bullied like Gil, but he is teasedon occasion, as most boys know he isn’t the type to tell Nolan. (It’snot like he’s overly fond of the man, either.) The teasing he gets isnot as rude as that which Gil has received. But after a number ofyears at Welton, someone came along who did much to stomp out theworst of the bullying on Gil’s behalf…

Two years before the events of thefilm, Edwin Hopkins enrolled in Welton Academy and was assigned adorm room with Gilbert. It was tense at first, with Gil unsure how tointeract with someone so aloof and, according to how Edwin presentedhimself to his peers, apathetic. However, they slowly built up acompanionable relationship when Edwin began to take it upon himselfto blandly intimidate or retaliate against those who teased orbullied Gilbert. Edwin wouldn’t react violently, or even loudly, buthe knew how to get people to knock it off, if only temporarily.

At first, Edwin was taken in by Gil’smore awkward, innocent demeanor and became protective of him becauseof it, while Gil’s feelings developed as he floundered in surprisethat he is being defended by someone he would have expected topartake in the bullying. They started speaking more in their room,and their friendship developed from there.

After Edwin madeit known to others that Gilbert was under his wing, so to speak, thebullying generally eased into lighter teasing. Though it remained anissue for Gil, his time at Welton improved significantly with thischange.

And while Edwin is something of aguardian angel to Gil, Gil pulls his weight in the friendship.Gilbert is the voice of reason, the wiser mind, of the two boys. Heknows how to get Edwin to listen, to stop and think before doingsomething reckless or impulsive. He also takes care of Edwin in hisown ways; he makes sure Edwin is awake in the morning and doesn’tmiss breakfast, offers help with homework, puts in an effort to cheerEd up if he is brooding, and so on.

Edwin is surprisinglythoughtful when it comes to Gil’s needs as well. As I wrote in TheSickly and the Meathead, he even thinks to tell Gil where he’sputting aside his glasses, that way he doesn’t have to blindly searchfor them. This is because when it comes to something he cares about,Edwin is quite detail-oriented. This is also the case with hisinterest in carpentry (touched upon in Safe in the Boughs, as well aslater in this post.) He considers the little things, and he thinksahead. Along that same line, Edwin checks in with Gilbert to makesure he doesn’t miss any doses of medication. He does it so casually,one would think he’d been doing it for years. Gil might be puttingaway his clothes as Edwin works at his desk, and without turningaround Ed asks if he remembered to take his medicine. Gil says yes,because of course he remembered, Ed grunts in acknowledgment, andthat’s that. Gil thinks it’s sweet.

Another way Edwin expresses hisaffection is through gifts, and the best example of this is TheBlanket of ‘58. See, Gil has two more blankets on his bed than theother boys, but they don’t hold in heat well enough for him. Knowingthis, in late November of his second year at Welton, Edwin gives Gila heavy crochet blanket as an early Christmas present. His motherbegan working on the blanket the previous winter after Edwin wrylycommented that his roommate was likely to freeze to death during oneof the cold winter nights at Welton. Despite his typical stoicism,she saw his fondness for Gilbert early on and was eager to make ablanket for this friend who mattered enough to Edwin to be mentionedoutside the context of sports and class. Later, Gil’s mother wouldexpress her thanks to Mrs. Hopkins by inviting their family todinner, where the parents hit it off. It is this meeting thatinitiated the friendship between the Hopkins and Braun families.

Above all, Eddie is a man of actionover words, and thus it is through his actions that he mostfrequently expresses his affections. Touches, kisses, favors—whetherrequested or not—he makes it known to Gil how he feels. And hisfeelings can run deep, especially where Gilbert is concerned. Even ashe threw himself into building their tree house (featured in Safe inthe Boughs), Edwin more than once indulged in idea of one day havinga real house to share with Gilbert.

All that said, it isn’t entirelyunheard of for Edwin to verbally express his feelings to Gil. Termsof endearment they’ve come to use are simply “baby” (Edwinaddresses Gil as such, though it is in private and not too frequent)and “Eddie.” Edwin’s pals at Welton often refer to him asEddie, too, but he finds that Gil’s voice can make it ring with sucha level of emotional intimacy that it may as well be an entirelydifferent name.

Kissing was a bit difficult for them atfirst. It took the two of them a while to get used to heavy kissingdue to Gil’s braces, but eventually they learned how to work aroundit. Another problem that occasionally crops up is that Edwin is verygood at taking Gil’s breath away, and as nice as that sounds, Gilneeds as much as he can get because, of course, he suffers from SteveRogers Syndrome. That is to say, his medical records are expansive,but he’s not on the verge of death. He is even able to participate insports at Welton, but is given much leniency. Chess and croquet aremore his deal.

Alright, I feel like this would be agood time to talk about their hobbies and other activities.

I believe Hopkins may canonicallybe captain of the soccer team. Though if this is the case, why did heflub his kick in the poetry/soccer exercise? To joke around? I don’tknow. My jury’s out on this one, but I think it’s interesting. I’mmostly basing this theory on the shirt he wears in these scenes:

I don’t know a dingle damn thing about sport ball, but I’m pretty sure that shirt denotes something important.

(Along a similar vein, though it isn’tnecessarily relevant to this post, I believe Keating may be thecoach. He even has a history with soccer. According to his schoolannual, he was the captain of his soccer team for a bit.)

Along with soccer,I have a headcanon that Edwin has a passion for carpentry! It beganwhen, as a child, he was told that Jesus Christ had been a carpenter.Thinking that was rad as fuck, Ed took a strong interest in it. Eventhough his faith grew weaker over the years, he maintained his lovefor carpentry independently of that.

General aloofnessaside, Edwin also likes to joke around with and show off in front ofhis friends. He’s even willing to do so in front of authority figuresif he thinks he can get away with it. Though he doesn’t strike me as someonewho brazenly defies authority when he knows it will end inpunishment. Keating in particular has proven he is willing to put upwith Ed’s dumb shenanigans—though, as is shown in the movie, hedoesn’t appreciate or reward them. I agree with Keating’s jabs at thestunts he pulls. They’re not just disruptive, they’re lazy. I like toimagine that the laziness of the jokes is more of a bother to Keatingthan the fact that they’re happening in the middle of class.

As for Gil’spreferred activities, he is a pianist. The organ player at Weltonpicked up on his interest in the instrument, and offered to teachhim. Gil agreed, and discovered he enjoyed it. As he pursued theactivity outside of Welton, his family was able to procure a pianofor their home on which he continued to practice. He also enjoysbird-watching. (With this in mind, Edwin gives him a new pair ofbinoculars for his birthday one year. He doesn’t get the appeal ofthe activity, but Gil lights up when he talks about the birds, so Edhas no qualms humoring him.) And as I said before, Gil has fungeeking out with Norm over sci-fi.

Now for some stragglers:

-Gilbert’s fatherreminds me of George McFly. That’s all I have to say about that.

-Gilbert’smedications are kept in Hager’s office, so Gil has to visit him inthe morning and before bed to take his medicine.

-I can’t tell forsure if it’s true to life, but I like to imagine that Gil is tallerthan Ed.

-Edwinloves the silkiness of Gil’s hair, and Gil likes to card his fingersthrough Ed’s shorter 'do. And, though he doesn’t appreciate the cause,Ed thinks Gil’s consistently red nose is adorable.

-Edwin’s friendsat school are not a tight-knight group. Notice that as he smugly readhis Truly Great poem The Cat Sat On The Mat (coming to a poetry slam near you), Hopkins was looking for the reactions of some of the boys around his own desk. None of these boysstood at the end of the film. Not saying this is canon, but it makessense to me.

-Gil’smother embroiders handkerchiefs before gifting them to him. Some aremonogrammed, others are only patterns or simple images. He sometimesfinds it embarrassing, but she puts so much love into herembellishments that he has never spoken a word of dissent.

-And finally, if you manage to catch agood look at Hopkins in the film, he has some birthmarks on hisface–small indentations on the left side near his hairline, and aline coming off the outer edge of his right brow. Wait, I have ascreencap for this one, too!

Sometimeshe’s asked if they’re scars and what caused them, and just for kickshe comes up with a different answer each time. He doesn’t care thatpeople notice, and isn’t particularly self-conscious about them. Moreoften than not he only remembers they exist when Gil gathers theinitiative to press his lips to them.

And that’s my current lot of Spazkins headcanons!

Thankyou again for asking, iamidentical. Your question not only helped me think more complexly about these characters, but it also led to a new idea for a Spazkins fic. It felt good to share thesethoughts with you.

[circular-time]

About "Koschei" and degrees of canon

I thought the name first appeared in Divided Loyalties, but I think it’s actually The Dark Path, a Virgin Missing Adventure published in 1997.

Doctor Who canon is very malleable, because it’s been going for over a half a century, nobody can consume let alone keep track of all of it, and various people in charge of it have given more or less of a damn about it and/or past eras.

As fans, our impression of canon is going to vary by the era we first watched on TV, what other EU stuff we enjoy the most (if we enjoy any), and our personal experience.

For ME, that’s:

The Pertwee to Davison era. Colin Baker and Sylvester McCoy were my “new Who.” I’m not old enough to remember when the addition of the “12 regenerations” limit and the depiction of Gallifrey in The Deadly Assassin, The Invasion of Time, Arc of Infinity and The Five Doctors were controversial. Whereas Saward’s grimdark era and the Cartmel Masterplan still raise my hackles a bit, in the same way that RTD fans side-eye some of Moffat’s stuff. ;) 

Big Finish. Which has made me appreciate Colin Baker far more and accept the Eighth Doctor as adopted into Classic Who instead of Wilderness Years, a significant distinction for those of us crushed by the show’s cancellation in 1990. 

I have MAs in classics and mythology, with training in evaluating the authority, applicability and trustworthiness of certain texts. 

This has caused me to privilege TV Who, especially classic; it causes me to accept/resist EU Who based on how much it seems to fit the spirit and canon I remember; and it causes me to pay attention to behind-the-scenes creation of particular stories. I gauge “degrees of canon” partly according to how much a story was vetted by showrunners or crew working on TV production of Who. (Which is why I tend to regard Big Finish as a bit more canon-ish; the showrunners of classic Who aren’t usually involved, but the cast is, adding another subtle layer of vetting.)

That’s the short version. Here’s the long version. I have a lot of thoughts about degrees of canon and how to look at it. 

As a student of myth, I’m trained to notice when representations of a myth jibe or clash with the more common and popular versions of the myth, in art or ritual or text. 

There’s no “one true version,” but there are versions that get more or less at the heart of certain myths or mythological figures. There are certain versions that get told again and again, or that appear in art again and again, that are the common, default versions of the myth. And then there are versions presented by one particular artist or playwright or writer trying to deconstruct, reinterpret, spoof or embellish elements of the myth: they’re not wrong, and they’re often illuminating or insightful, but they shouldn’t be treated as typical. They’re fanfiction. Also, common perceptions of particular myths and mythological figures change over time, especially when new cultures adopt and adapt older things. Sometimes fanfiction ascends to the “default” version of a myth.

Puck in Midsummer Night’s Dream has come a long way from Dionysos and Bacchus, but traces of his ancestry, even that tendency to disrupt and poke fun at the aristocrats of the city (see The Bacchai from the 5th century BCE), peep through. 

Doctor Who, to me, is not just a fictional character we’re treating as real with real history and backstory. He’s a mythological figure. So I’m more forgiving of details being jiggered around (as long as people don’t take them as The One True Version ™), as long as they don’t betray the basic spirit of the character or show. I try to remember that the myth has changed/evolved over time, but I sometimes react against newer elements that go against the grain of the myth I grew up with.

On the other hand, as a ex classics scholar (studying Greek and Roman history and culture, plus Egyptian because Egypt Is Cool), I can’t help but sweat the details, too.

Scholars of ancient literature try to determine which copies of a text are the most accurate, and which have details interpolated by centuries of scribal error, editorial comment slipped into the body of the text, passages rewritten by somebody who objected to something, or bits added by later writers to make a point or insert what he thought should be there. And that’s just whether one copy of a text is close to how it was originally written down.

The other question is whether the chap who first wrote it down (usually a chap, thanks to sexist literary traditions) knew bugger-all about what he was talking about and/or cared about being historically accurate (faithful to canon). 

Maybe he was an eyewitness or talked to eyewitnesses who may or may not have remembered details correctly. Maybe he lived at a later period, but was a general who knew military tactics, or a career politician who had access to official documents, or a scientist or someone with expert knowledge of the subject. Maybe he was Making Shit Up because it sounded good, or illustrated the point he was trying to make, or was entertaining, or was the sort of thing he thought the historical figures at that event might have said, since in those days people didn’t have cameras. Maybe he wasn’t a very good writer or didn’t care or didn’t know his subject matter but later scribes copied it because it was all they had to go on. And what’s come down to us is often written by later writers trying to pool together information from earlier, now lost sources, whose validity they had to weigh for themselves. EU writers, in other words.

How does that translate to Doctor Who?

I’m aware that early Who was mostly produced by people in a hurry to get the shows out, during a time when there was no easy way to look back at what had already been said (whether you were a writer or a fan) since tapes weren’t available or at least easy to get to. 1960s Who cast members have remarked that episodes in those days were thought to be ephemeral; they never expected fans to watch them again after their initial broadcast.

So they didn’t worry about rigorous consistency, until around the beginning of the color era. Even then, it was far more casual than now. There was no “canon bible,” no Wikis to consult. Producers/writers weren’t going back to check that their version of the Time Lords in The Five Doctors matched what we saw of them in The Three Doctors a decade earlier. But at least, all the way through the classic era, there was a continuous literary tradition, so to speak, of people who had worked on it earlier handing it down to those who came after.

The cancellation of classic Who establishes a huge “canon” and “post-canon” demarcation in my mind. Without a TV studio to advocate for the show or the BBC interested in maintaining it, nobody much was minding the store during the Wilderness Years.

Nowadays, Big Finish scripts, written mostly by fans and passed under the nose of Nicholas Briggs and at least one script editor who knows classic Who REALLY REALLY WELL, are sent to the Cardiff studio at the idea-proposal stage and at the finished-script stage, and they’ll sometimes be rejected or asked for a rewrite. I don’t know how involved Moffat himself is involved in that vetting, but that means every Big Finish story is subject to new Who AND classic Who continuity policing, a more rigorous editorial process than ever before.

That’s pretty canon-ish.

Whereas in the Wilderness Years, when the BBC had cancelled Who and didn’t intend to do anything with it ever again, there was little to no oversight. Some Virgin novels were damn fine fanfiction, written by professional writers who were also fans and knew more about classic Who than some of those who had actually worked on the TV show. But they were enjoying a certain amount of creative license which made for some amazing stories but which sometimes took pretty wide sweeping paths away from typical or primary canon. Besides which, a lot of the Wilderness Years material is now inaccessible to fans because those books are out of print.

Wilderness Years Who isn’t wrong, and many of the best bits have now been incorporated into TV and Big Finish canon, because fans who hung onto their love of Who through the Wilderness Years are now in charge of the show. So some of what started out as ascended fanfiction is now pretty much “canon-ish" (like President Romana). BUT. I am still wary of retroactively forcing details from the Wilderness Years onto classic Who TV episodes. Which is why I tend to chirp when the name “Koschei” shows up in discussions of the Pertwee era, or when people start going on about Looms in relation to Deadly Assassin, or Time Lords’ aversion to plants when discussing Arc of Infinity.

I am also somewhat wary of new Who retroactively rewriting classic Who stories. I don’t care (much) if Cybermen and Sontarans and Daleks and the Master and the Doctor are presented very differently in episodes now than they were then. It would be too cumbersome trying to be faithful to everything that went before! New Who had to start with an almost-clean slate and license to rewrite anything it wanted. And sometimes the new version is better-thought-out. That’s all perfectly fine in my book, although I grit my teeth sometimes when they jettison a bit of canon I loved.

BUT at the same time I object when they show clips of the past, real footage from classic episodes, and Photoshop it, so to speak, so that it looks different or reads differently than it did when it was broadcast. That’s not what happened, I scream internally. I resent “my” Who being misrepresented to modern fans. I want to understand and enjoy and discuss old Who stories as they were for their audience and their writers and their actors when they were first broadcast.

Mind you, newer interpretations/embellishments/fanon/fanfiction can be rewarding, enjoyable, and fascinating. They breathe new life into stories that would otherwise be pretty well fossilized by now. My blog is named for an EU audio that dared to throw an entirely new spin on the Fifth Doctor’s regeneration, which for fans my age is a fairly “sacred” moment of canon. BUT however much I love some of the EU, and however much it’s “headcanon fucking ACCEPTED,” it’s not quite the same as “original, classic Who canon,” so I won’t blur the two when discussing a classic Who story that aired on TV. 

And this is all my own VERY biased opinion.

Also, for the most part? I try not to dwell on what is or isn’t canon(ish), or what I dislike about the eras and parts of Who that don’t work for me. 

I’d much rather put my energy into discussing, sharing, and enthusing about the eras of the show I love most. And, yes, that includes coming up with fan theories and fanfiction of my own. Which isn’t canon. ;) 

[amyacker6741]

A Love Story Though the Whedonverse An Amy Acker & Alexis Denisof Theory By Lauren Claydon

During an interview for Much Ado About Nothing, Joss Whedon was asked if he noticed the connection that Amy Acker and Alexis Denisof, playing Fred and Wesley have to Much Ado About Nothing. Joss’s answer was.“Not until literally screening it. And not even the first time. It was a couple of months ago, screening it, I suddenly went, ‘Oh, my God! Wesley and Fred went to Heaven and they got this! They’re kissing and neither of them is dying! This is delightful.’ There’s a reason why I throw those two actors into each other’s arms every chance I get.” I have a theory and it’s not about bunnies. Amy Acker and Alexis Denisof have worked together many times since 2001. Over the span of about 5 months, I have connected some of the times that they’ve worked together into a multi universe theory. This theory includes the shows Angel, How I Met Your Mother, Dollhouse and lastly the film Much Ado About Nothing. The characters that Acker and Denisof have played are most of the time drawn closer or apart. That’s what I have connected here. There might not be a connection but I’ve found the possibility of one. I also set the plot line of this theory in order of the years these shows and movie aired or were released. This theory is the love story between Winifred ‘Fred’ Burkle and Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. The timeline of this theory is mostly set in the Whedonverse, to explain the title of this theory.

In the spinoff of the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel. We are introduced to Winifred ‘Fred’ Burkle and to a different side of Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. I’m leaving out most of what happens in the graphic novels because Fred and Wesley never ended up together for very long in them. Also it’s not the same without Amy and Alexis. Wesley played by Denisof was first introduced in the third season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, as the new Watcher for the slayers, Buffy Summers and Faith Lehane. Faith killed the deputy mayor of Sunnydale and went rogue, later causing her to befriend the evil mayor of Sunnydale. After Faith ends up in a coma after being stabbed by Buffy during a fight, the mayor becomes a snake-like demon on graduation day ending in Sunnydale High being destroyed. Wesley was a very inexperienced Watcher and because of what unfolded under his watch, he was fired by the Watcher’s Council. After being fired, Wesley became a self-proclaimed ‘rogue demon hunter’ who later joins Angel Investigations in the middle of season one of Angel after Doyle, a member of Angel Investigations died. Then in the end of season two of Angel, we meet Fred played by Acker was a girl from Texas who moved to Los Angeles to study to become physicist at UCLA but was sucked into a portal to another dimension called Pylea. Later to find out that she was sent there by her jealous professor. Fred lived in a cave in Pylea for five years, driving her a little crazy. She spent the five years hiding from the local demons that lived in nearby villages who treated humans like slaves and referring to them as cows. Throughout the five years Fred spent in Pylea she never gave up on trying to get back home, she would write all over the walls of the cave she lived in. the walls were filled with physics and the words she read that she thought caused her to end up in Pylea. After working with Angel and the Angel Investigations to get back to Los Angeles. Fred stays with them back home, but after living in a cave for five years she built herself another cave in her room at the hotel. She spent months in her room just writing on the walls, just like in her cave back in Pylea. Fred spent a lot of that time waiting for Angel to return from visiting the now alive Buffy. Fred then finally came to the conclusion that Angel wasn’t going to save her again, after she almost went home back to San Antonio with her parents. Once Fred started leaving her room more, she would go out with her new friends and be more social. A love triangle began when Wesley and Charles Gunn both fall in love with Fred, and Fred developed a crush on Gunn. Wesley was always just trying to do what he thought was best for everyone and Fred, which always ended badly for him and everyone else. This includes the way he acted around Fred. Even when Wesley was about to tell Fred how he felt about her. When he walked around the corner, Fred was kissing Gunn. Also in season three, after reading some books in his office Wesley thinks that Angel was going to kill his own son, Connor. Wesley thought this because he read that the father will kill the son. To stop what he thought was going to happen, Wesley stole Connor ending in Wesley getting his throat slit by a woman named Justine. She stole Connor from Wesley giving the baby to Holtz, who took Connor to a hell dimension called Quor’toth. After this happened Fred went to the hospital to visit Wesley and to give him his belongings from his office at the hotel. Well there Fred told Wesley to never come back to the hotel, that what he did destroyed everyone and that if he returns that Angel would kill him. Once time went by Wesley found ways to redeem to everyone because he was still always their for his friends at Angel Investigations, even when they weren’t there for him. Fred and Gunn ended up dating for almost two seasons but Wesley was still in love with her even though he was in a complicated relationship with the villainous lawyer Lilah Morgan, one of the shows main antagonists. It got really complicated after he cut off her head, but because she was a lawyer at Wolfram & Hart it was in her contract that she would come back to life for a little bit. Ever when Wesley was abandoned from his friends in season three to four, he would still drop everything he was doing to help them, especially when Fred asked him for help. Wesley read Fred’s theory when it got published and when he found out she was doing a lecture on it he went to listen to her.That lecture was also one of the reasons why Fred and Gunn broke up. After learning that it was her old physics professor who sent her to Pylea, Fred wanted to kill him for all the pain he has caused people. Fred wasn’t the only student that was sent to other dimensions, but Fred was the only one who survived and returned back to Los Angeles. Fred knew he would keep trying to kill her and others. She told Angel and Gunn what she had found out, and that she wanted to kill him. They told her not to and that she would never learn to forgive herself for killing him. Fred lied and said she wasn’t going to kill him and that she was going to that she was going to her room, but she really went to see Wesley. Fred knew that the only person that would help her would be Wesley. With the help of Wesley, Fred had a plan. She was so close to sending her professor to another dimension to show him what she had to live though for five year, if he survived that long. Fred’s plan wasn’t going so well for her though. This ended with Gunn killing the professor so Fred wouldn’t have to live with it for the rest of her life. After this there was a problems in their relationship. Fred always went to Wesley for help and Gunn was jealous. When Fred and Gunn were still dating, Wesley was asked by Fred to help them with Angelus. Angelus was Angel without his soul, he was a murderous vampire. Who didn’t care about what he did or what it took to do something. Angelus said terrible things about Fred to her and Gunn, but Angelus also said them to Wesley. Angelus ended up attacking Fred, Gunn tried to save her but he couldn’t. Wesley was the one to save Fred in the end. After that Fred went to thank Wesley for what he did. This ended with Wesley kissing Fred in the hotel’s office, Gunn walked in right after and knew what had just happened. Gunn and Wesley then begin to fight over Fred, their fight ended when Gunn accidentally hit Fred. Their relationship ended after that, when Gunn broke up with Fred. Fred did have feelings for Wesley but when she found out that he had been sleeping with Lilah, Fred saw him differently. Fred still did have feeling for Wesley though, it was very obvious by the way the two looked at each other. In the fifth season of Angel, Angel Investigations take over the Los Angeles branch of the evil law firm, Wolfram & Hart. Wolfram & Hart were the main antagonist throughout the show. Fred became the head of the Practical Science Division and Wesley became the head of the Supernatural Research and Intelligence Gathering Department. After two seasons of Fred and Wesley not being together. In season five, we see that Wesley stills cares for Fred and that Fred cares about him. After Wesley thinks he killed his father to protect Fred because he loves her, Fred goes into his office to talk about what happens and they have a really cute moment together only for Knox to come in and ruin everything like always. Wesley told Fred that he really thought he killed his father without even hesitating because he was going to hurt Fred. The two finally get together after Fred tells Wesley she wants to be with him and that he had been kind of clueless, but Wesley never stopped loving Fred since he met her and got to know her. Wesley was just surprised that she loved him back. In the next episode they were happy together and I loved seeing the two of them finally happy again, but it is very short lived they only got one day together. After Knox, one of the scientist at the Wolfram & Hart’s Practical Science Division, who worshiped a goddess named Illyria. Knox wanted Fred to be the vessel for Illyria, which he accomplished. With Fred being the head of Wolfram & Hart’s Practical Science Division she went to check an ancient sarcophagus, unknown to her that Knox had sent it to the lab to turn her into Illyria. When Fred placed her hand onto the sarcophagus touching one of the crystals on it, some air came out of the sarcophagus, That is what caused Fred to become infected, later becoming the vessel for Illyria. Everyone loved Fred that’s why when Fred got sick because of Illyria nobody knew what to do. Her organs were shutting down and she was dying slowly and painfully. No one knew what was wrong with her, so they all eventually had to watch her slowly die. Angel and Spike went to try to find a way to save her, and Gunn was even willing to give up his life to save hers because he saw how happy her and Wesley were together. But nothing would have worked. Fred said that she was going to be okay and beat whatever it was that she was sick with. She Always gave a powerful speeches but in my opinion this one was one of her best and most powerful. Fred said, “ I am not the damsel in distress. I am not some case. I lived in a cave for five years. In a world where they killed my kind like cattle. I am not going to be cut down by some monster flu. I am better than that.” Fred was dying and Wesley stayed with her the whole time up until her last words which were “I’m not scared. I’m not scared. I’m not scared. Please, Wesley. Why can’t I stay?” Before Fred died Wesley told her that always loved her and that he had loved her from the moment he got to know her. Lastly Wesley told Fred that he would never stop loving her. After Illyria took over Fred’s body, she didn’t speak like Fred or act like Fred. Also Illyria was blue. Wesley was very bitter and hated the demon goddess, but what hurt him was how Illyria would change into the appearance Fred. She would always try to remind him of how he lost the love of his life. Wesley loved Fred so much, so after Fred died Wesley didn’t have anything left to live without Fred. Illyria was one of the Old Ones, a powerful pure-breed demon. She plagued the world before the time of man and was one of the most feared and worshiped demons of that time. Before Fred became Illyria’s vessel she walked through many worlds. Illyria told them. “ I traveled all of them as I pleased. I walked worlds of smoke and half truths, intangible. Worlds of torment and of unnamable beauty. Opaline towers as high as small moons. Glaciers that rippled with insensate lust. And one world with nothing but shrimp. I tried of that one quickly.” One of them being a world with nothing but shrimp, that was a running joke in the Buffyverse. The joke was started by Anya in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, she was telling her friends that there was a world without shrimp and one of nothing but Shrimp. The joke went on for many season, but now back to the theory. Illyria hated everything about humanity and the world, she just didn’t really care about anything but herself at first. After Illyria found out that her army had been destroyed a long time ago. This broke her a little bit, but she was Illyria nothing could stop her. Over a short period of time Illyria showed her new allies that they could trust her and that she would fight with them. They all trusted Illyria but they also didn’t. No one knew what kind of power she had. She knew that her new allies trusted and cared about Fred, and I think that because Fred was always apart of Illyria subconscious. Fred was in a way telling her to trust her friends and to help them. Even though Wesley hated being around Illyria most of the time, he still saw her as being his responsibility. In the last episode of Angel out of all of the members of what was Angel Investigations, Wesley didn’t survive. Before his death Illyria came to help him, but Wesley was fatally wounded. Him and Illyria both knew he was going to die, so Illyria changed into the appearance Fred to comfort him. Illyria would often ask Wesley if he wanted her to look like Fred for him, but every time he declined her offer, expect for this time. Illyria told him that everything was going to be okay and that he was going to be with Fred again. Before the final battle, Wesley had said to Illyria that there is no perfect day for him, not anymore. Ever since he lost Fred, he lost himself as well. After Wesley died Illyria was never the same because she see what Fred and Wesley’s life together would have looked like if it wasn’t for Knox and her. In the Angel graphic novels the characters that are alive at that point start talking about Fred and Wesley, saying that they are together and are happy. Also Angel names a wing of a public library the Burkle Wyndam-Pryce wing, which I found really sweet. There’s more in the graphic novels with Winifred coming back to life but I’m not going to touch on that now. Also Angel wasn’t the last show to have Amy’s characters be killed off and turned into a god only episodes before a show ends, I’ll talk more about that later on in this theory.

This is the only show in this theory that’s not in the Whedonverse, but I think that my theory connects it in someway. In Come on, the season one finale of How I Met Your Mother. Ted wants to stop Robin from going on a camping trip with her co anchor Sandy Rivers, played by Denisof. Sandy is a recurring character on the show, was a news anchor who was always hitting on Robin and other women. After asking Robin out many times, Sandy finally got a yes. They were going to spend time together at the networks camping trip. To cancel the trip, Ted wants to change the weather for the weekend by making rain. For help Ted goes to meet Penelope, played by Acker. Penelope was a girl that had history with Barney and had a PH.D in native american studies. Penelope at first is offended and laughs at them about the idea. Then Ted tells her that Sandy is the wrong for Robin. She agreed to help Ted by teaching him a rain dance because she asks him if Sandy is an ass like Barney and he says yes. After hours of dancing on a roof, Ted finally makes it rain canceling the camping trip. I see this as Wesley and Winifred being brought closer by stopping Robin going on the camping trip with Sandy. I found a detail that I think connect to Fred and Wesley. I added How I Met Your Mother to this theory because when I was first putting together this theory the plot line of Amy and Alexis being on the same episode, and in this episode their characters have an important impact on the rest of the show and the outcome of the main characters lives. This is also what made me start looking at more shows showing how Wesley and Fred were torn apart and then brought closer.

In Dollhouse Acker and Denisof both play Dolls in the show, also at some point in the show they learn that they are Dolls. Denisof’s character Daniel Perrin was a third-generation United States senator who was kidnapped by the Rossum Corporation and turned into a Doll. The Rossum Corporation used him to get into the government. As a senator, Daniel’s goal was to uncover that the Dollhouses were real, but only to end by him finding out that he was a Doll. Learning that he was one of the people he was trying to help. Acker’s character is first introduced as the Los Angeles dollhouse’s general physician Dr.Claire Saunders who was scarred both mentally and physically. Later in the show Claire learns that she’s not a doctor she’s a broken Doll. Claire had a chance to learn who she really was but she didn’t want to die. If she wanted to become herself again she would in a way be killing Claire, the person she had become. We don’t learn a lot about her past other than that her name as a Doll was Whiskey and that she was the number one active in the Los Angeles dollhouse. Whiskey became Claire after Alpha another Doll in the Los Angeles dollhouse, wanted Echo to become the number one active. To make Echo the number one active, Alpha grabbed a pair of scissors and began repeatedly slashing Whiskey’s face leaving her with scars across her face. After Alpha was done cutting up her face he was brought to Topher to be put in the Attic, when the chair used to imprint the Dolls with had a problem causing every personality that he had ever been imprinted with be in his brain at once, causing him to go crazy killing almost everyone in the Los Angeles dollhouse including the original Dr.Saunders. Causing them to need a new general physician, they imprinted Whiskey as Dr.Claire Saunders. She was imprinted her with computer skills beyond those of a physician and a wide range of phobias. It suggests that she suffered from Agoraphobia; Anthropophobia; Heliophobia; Ligyrophobia/Phonophobia; Social phobia; Zoophobia. In Dollhouse we learn that two Dolls can fall in love, but when it happens they separate the Dolls by moving them into different dollhouses. Dollhouse had a five-year and plan but it got cancelled after `season two, so all we have is what could have happened and questions about characters past that were never answered. I think that maybe Whiskey used to be an active in the Washington Dollhouse. Then Whiskey and Daniel when not imprinted in their childlike blank states fell in love causing Whiskey to be moved to another dollhouse. Moving her to the Los Angeles dollhouse. We never learn much about what happened in the past while in their blank childlike states. Causing me to think that was Wesley and Winifred to be torn away from each other again.

My theory ends with Joss Whedon’s adaptation of Shakespeare’s play Much Ado About Nothing. Acker and Denisof play Beatrice and Benedick the main characters. Beatrice is the niece of Leonato, who is trying to find the positive side of things but it come across as sad and bitter. Benedick is a lord of Padua, who has just returned from war and is seen as a fool to the people around him but he doesn’t seem to notice. Beatrice and Benedick have a history together which has caused the two to have some hatred towards each other. With the first scene in the kitchen, Beatrice explains to Leonato’s Aide that her and Benedict her not on good terms. Throughout the movie she explains her and Benedick’s relationship to almost everyone, and she was tells them how he’s a joke. It’s also very clear between the pairs interactions that they have hurt the other and that this has caused them to have strong opinions about each other. They don’t want to get hurt again. They often make it clear to each other that they know what the other one is like, because they’ve known each other for a long time and the history they have together. Which causes the other characters to make a plan to have the two of them fall in love with each other. After the other characters tricked Beatrice and Benedick into loving each other, they finally admit that they love the other. Once Beatrice and Benedick say they love each other it causing an argument between the two because Beatrice asks Benedick to kill Claudio if he really loves her. When they end the argument Benedick tells her again that he loves her. Later the two met up again to talk about what they love about the other but then Ursula rans in to tell them news that the wedding between Beatrice’s cousin Hero and Claudio is back on, and that it was Don John who set it all up. After Claudio unknowingly marries the presumed dead Hero, Benedick and Beatrice read the poems that they wrote about each other and somewhere in that time they got married, I think. The movie ends with the two of them standing together in the hallway, the party still going on behind them. This last scene represents Fred and Wesley finally ending up together and being happy together after all being apart for so many lifetimes. A lot of people see this movie as Fred and Wesley being reunited in another life, so I’m not the first person to make that connection. Joss Whedon and the cast of Much Ado About Nothing have said that after watching the movie they saw it as the end of those characters love story ending. This was only after seeing the reactions to the audience at a screening and people pointing it out to them.

The first scene that Amy and Alexis ever did together was a Shakespeare inspired screen written by Joss Whedon for Amy’s audition. Joss was wanting to add someone new to the cast of Angel and was wanting to see if Amy could be that new cast member. Since 1999, Joss and his wife Kai have been hosting Shakespeare readings at their house. The readings began during season four of Buffy the Vampire Slayer after cast members started talking about Shakespeare on set. Over the years more actors and actresses from more of Whedon’s shows, and other people starting to join the weekly readings. Joss has always said that he loves the work of Shakespeare and that’s what drove him to make Much Ado About Nothing in between editing The Avengers. In an interview Amy said that she played Hero once, they all joked around that Much Ado is the only play that Amy does and that she would be performing it again in the next few years. This also wasn’t the first time that Amy and Alexis had played Beatrice and Benedick. At one of Joss’s Shakespeare readings the two also played the characters together.

Over the years the Whedonverse has expanded since the start of the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Joss Whedon has close group of actors and actresses that he has repeatedly worked with since 1997. Different actors and actresses have joined the Whedonverse over the past nineteen years but many of them Joss still works with today. Amy Acker and Alexis Denisof have been apart of the Whedonverse since 1999 and 2001. The two of them being apart of this has given them many roles and possibly more to come. Amy has been in such Whedon projects as Angel, Dollhouse, The Cabin in the Woods, Much Ado About Nothing and Agents of S.H.I.E.l.D. Alexis has also been in many Whedon projects such as Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Dollhouse, The Avengers and Much Ado About Nothing.

After I finished watching these shows, most of them left so many unanswered questions that I wanted that I wanted answers to. I feel like for me this theory has answered some of these questions. That it all connects together here. With the many months that I’ve spent working on these, connecting everything that I could but to still have it make sense. Will make sense to maybe someone who has watched these shows and movie, to anyone else I think this might look a little crazy. The questions I still have can be summed up by one question, What happened to some of these character after the show ended or after they were last seen? Most of these shows didn’t answer that for me and if then did it was in books that I haven’t read. Like in the last episode of Angel we are left with a cliffhanger, did the main characters survive the last battle with what looked like to viewers an endless sea of demons. Another example is what happened to Amy’s character Whiskey. In the season one finale of Dollhouse we see Whiskey as a Doll again and with her scars gone, in season two we learn a little bit about what happened but at that point no one knew. The episode ends with her sitting by the railing of the upper level of the Los Angeles Dollhouse as the building fills with toxic gas and people start to swarm into the dollhouse. I may never get my answers to some of these questions but i have my ideas. I know that everyone survived at the end of Angel and I think that Whiskey probably died after that scene. I seen these works as something that just keeps viewer thinking and caring about the characters that they are being introduced to.

Recently with this theory not being able to leave my mind I’ve seen how anything can relate back to these characters. With music, movies, television shows and even just going through a normal day. I’m reminded of the characters and the plots of these shows, and movie that I’ve written about in this theory. It’s weird that even in my day to day life that these characters still mind a way to pop into my head whenever possible. I think that it really shows what an impact these shows and characters can leave on people.

I don’t know if anyone else has noticed this but with a lot of Amy Acker’s characters libraries are always apart of her character’s introduction, Like Fred, Root and Penelope. It’s kind of weird that a lot of her characters have that thing in common. Fred was first seen in a library in Cordy’s vision and also Fred worked at a public library in Los Angeles, that’s where the portal to Pylea opened. Also Amy’s audition for Angel was set in a library. As I said earlier in the How I Met Your Mother part of this theory, Penelope was first seen in a library when Ted and Barney came to talk to her. In season two of Person of Interest we got to learn the backstory of season one’s villain, Root. Her real name was Samantha Groves and like every night she was at the library in Bishop,Texas with her friend Hanna. That same night she saw Hanna get into a car, she was never seen or heard from again. The young Samantha Groves tried telling the librarian but she was in love with The man who abducted and killed Hanna. She told Samantha that she was a liar and no one would ever believe her about what she saw. Being one of the last people to see her friend Hanna alive caused Samantha became Root. With her very advanced computer skills, she was able to avenge Hanna’s death and have the murder killed. A year after the murder, Root left Texas becoming the reformed killer for hire that everyone loves. Later in the show, during season three. Harold locks up in a library because he thought she was crazy, but she ended up being right about everything. It’s kind of funny how this one detail has been used for her characters, that and her being from Texas. I think by now we get it Amy’s from Texas and has something to do with libraries.

There’s a big debate between fans of the show Angel. Who was better together Fred and Gunn or, Fred and Wesley? I think that Fred and Gunn were really cute together, but that Fred and Wesley were meant to be together. I think I lot of people think this as well. Fred and Gunn dated for from season three to four, they were always being cute together, but they also made me sad a lot. They broke my heart when he broke up with Fred in season three because years earlier Gunn sold his soul. He sold his soul for a truck and if he fell in love with anyone the demon he sold his soul to would kill him. That’s what made this sad is that Gunn planned to give Fred the best day of her life, but it ended with him breaking her heart. She could tell that their was something wrong because of the way he was acting. When Fred confronted him about it at lunch, Gunn got defensive and lied to her. He told her that there was someone else, but apart of Fred knew that this wasn’t true. By the end of the episode they had gotten back together and everything was okay for a little while. Until Fred wanted revenge for being sent to Pylea and almost being by the same person for the same reason twice, and to help her get revenge she asked Wesley for help. Fred always asked Wesley for help and Gunn hated it. He blamed Wesley for everything bad that had ever happened to Angel Investigations. They continued dating until the end of season four, after Wesley kissed Fred and Gunn accidentally hit Fred when she was trying to separate the fight between the two of them. When started living with Angel, after leaving Pylea. Wesley and Gunn did often show Fred that they cared about her. Nothing ever worked out for Wesley and all he wanted was for that to work out for him, for him and Fred to be together. For me all I ever wanted was for Fred to be happy and I hated it when she wasn’t, she deserved an amazing life. Fred and Wesley were meant to be together, if soulmates are real that’s what they were. Wesley loved her so much and eventually she loved him back. They should have had more time together and I wish they did get the time together that they deserved. They both deserved so much better. I’m not saying I didn’t love Fred and Gunn together, it’s just that For me Fred and Wesley will always be the best relationship on that show. This theory gave me a reason to think that maybe Fred and Wesley dying wasn’t the end. Maybe it was just the beginning of something even more beautiful. Personally I’ve always been very divided on these relationships but I think that they were both beautiful in their own ways. People have their own opinions this is just mine, really I think that a lot of this theory is just me stating my opinion.

Illyria wasn’t the last time that one of Amy Acker’s characters was killed off and turned into a god only a few episodes before a show was about to end. In the show Person of Interest Acker plays Root, a hacker and reformed killer for hire. She started off as the season one big bad. Just like in Angel after seasons of a will they won’t they between Root and Shaw, Root dies and the Machine takes her voice. The Machine is a god like AI that gives the main characters of Person of Interest the numbers that they use to help the people that are viewed as irrelevant by the government. Root’s relationship with the Machine was one that no one else had. Root was the only person that the Machine would talk to, she was the Analog Interface. She would speak for the Machine and She would give her different numbers then the rest of the team. When Root and Shaw first meet it wasn’t in a way that said that they were going to fall in love with each other. Root was posing as a woman named Veronica Sinclair, Shaw was supposed to be meeting the real Veronica but Root tied her up in the bathroom of the hotel room they were in. Shaw realized the woman she was talking to wasn’t the real Veronica, but she was too late. Root had put her taser to Shaw’s neck right when she found out. Root tied her to a chair and was going to torture her with an iron. It was clear that there was something going on with the two of them, but I don’t think anyone expected such a beautiful relationship to start from almost torturing someone with an iron. After two seasons of Root flirting with her coworker Sameen Shaw and things being hinted at, but never showed. Root and Shaw’s relationship consisted of Root flirting with the sociopath causing her to alway get angry with her, but she secretly grew to love it. After some time Shaw started to enjoy Root’s company and cared about her. Later Shaw realized that Root made her feel feeling and was her safe place. Shaw kissed Root only for her to sacrifice herself for Root and the rest of Team Machine seconds later, Shaw was shot and captured by Samaritan who tortured her for a little more than nine months. Root never stopped looking for Sameen over those months, she knew she was alive somewhere. This was just like how Wesley never stopped loving Fred. Once Shaw escaped from Samaritan and got back to New York. She eventually ran into Root one night, but just like Fred and Wesley they didn’t get much time to be together before Root was shot and killed protecting Harold. Every character that deserved to be happy on Person of Interest died protecting Harold in the last season, which left me frustrated with the show and Harold. This always makes me really sad because I wanted both Fred and Wesley, and Root and Shaw to be happy together, but it seems like every time they were happy, one of them is taken away or killed. It’s also makes it a lot more painful to watch these shows when your favourite character dies but their still around as someone or something else. Root might be alive and Fred did end up coming back to life, but it’s still very heartbreaking how similar these two relationships because I loved these characters together. I also find it interesting that Root was always eating apples and the first time we saw Fred in Cordelia’s vision, she’s wearing a necklace with an apple on it. Also Root makes herself a room in the abandoned underground subway station that they work in. I think that is cute because in the episode of Angel, Fredless. In Fredless, while walking through the sewer with Angel. She says how much she likes the sewer and that she wants to build an underground condo. When I first saw Root’s room I said that Fred finally got to build her underground condo. don’t think that was planned but I think it’s still kind of a cute little easter egg hidden in the show referencing Amy’s first show as a main character. Thinking about it now, I think Amy’s characters just can’t make it through a fifth and final season. This doesn’t have anything to do with Person of Interest, but there is also a reference to Fred’s death in the movie, The Cabin in the Woods. Amy’s character, Lin’s death. Her death made me cry because Fred’s death affected me so much. Lin was killed by a giant tentacle that crashed through the roof and grabbed her. She was killed by Illyria once again, the tentacle might have been Illyria’s full form when not in a vessel. There were a lot of references to some Whedonverse shows in that movie it’s kind of funny in a way that Joss has managed to have the same demon goddess kill Amy twice. Also with everything Amy does there’s always something that leads back to Fred.

The Buffyverse includes such shows as Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. The Whedonverse is made up of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, Serenity, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, Dollhouse, The Cabin in the Woods, Much Ado About Nothing and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. How I Met Your Mother is not apart of these universes, but a lot of the actors and actresses that were on How I Met Your Mother are in the Buffyverse and Whedonverse. I think because of a lot of those actors and actresses being in the Whedonverse and HIMYM, it gives a connection that would make it a weird shared universe. With so many television and movie shared universes this could be a possibility, so if it is then this theory could be possible and Fred and Wesley could have gone through all of this just to be together again. There are also so holes in this theory because of How I Met Your Mother having nothing to do with the Whedonverse and Buffyverse, also it could just be crazy but I would like to think that this shared universe exist. I have nothing to confirm or deny this so I can only hope that maybe I’m right.

One of the things I noticed when watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel was how much some characters developed throughout both shows. I especially enjoyed the character development of Fred and Wesley. Fred went from being a crazy girl in another dimension who was living in a cave and wearing a potato sack, to later becoming a blue demon goddess. Right before Fred became Illyria she was a strong member of the team who had became a badass after learning how to stick up for herself. Wesley went from being a spineless watcher on Buffy the Vampire Slayer to also being a strong member of the team on Angel. Wesley changed a lot throughout the shows, but his character changed dramatically at the end of the fifth of season Angel from being happily in love to next caring if he lived or died. Wesley broke my heart after Fred died because he had gone through so much already and nothing would ever go right for him, then the one time his life was getting better. He was happy and in love, but it was all taken away from him. Before his death Wesley would try to drink away the pain of Fred’s death, it made the pain that he felt a million times worse. After Fred he was never the same. Most of characters on these shows did show major character development throughout the shows, but not as much as Fred and Wesley characters in my opinion.

For the next three paragraphs I’m going to explain the three television shows I wrote into this theory. These paragraphs are just going to be quick summaries of the shows. If anyone isn’t familiar with Angel, How I Met Your Mother and Dollhouse, these paragraphs might help understand my theory and what I talked about through the plot line of it.

Angel was the spinoff of the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The show was about Buffy’s vampire ex boyfriend, Angel. It revolved around vampire with a soul Angel, former Sunnydale mean girl Cordelia Chase, a half demon named Doyle,the former Watcher Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, vampire hunter Charles Gunn, Krevlornswath of the Deathwok Clan also known as Lorne and The Host, the insane lovable genius Winifred ‘Fred’ Burkle, Connor the human son of two vampires, and Spike the other vampire with a soul that Buffy also dates. In season one Angel, Cordelia and Doyle start a private investigator business. They clients were either paying customers or people that they saw needed help. Doyle had the visions first but before his death he passed his visions on to Cordy. The visions showed them people in the Los Angeles area that needed their help. Mainly the problems were magic and demon related. They helped the helpless, as it said on their cards. As time went on their had to face more and more problems. Wolfram & Hart causing many for them, but then Angel Investigations ends up running the Los Angeles branch of the evil law firm. The show mainly focused on the ongoing trials of Angel, a vampire whose human soul was restored to him by gypsies as a punishment for the murder of one of their own. After more than a century of murder and the torture of innocents, Angel’s restored soul torments him with guilt and remorse. During the first four seasons Angel Investigations was restoring the faith and saving the souls of those who have lost their way. Typically, this involves doing battle with evil demons or humans allied to them, primarily related to Wolfram & Hart. Angel also had battle his own demonic nature. A lot of the show’s plot line was based around Angel and his quest to redeem himself from his dark murderous past as Angelus. According to an ancient prophecy called the Shanshu Prophecy. This prophecy said that if Angel redeemed himself, he would become human again. In season 7 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, there was now another vampire with a soul that could fulfill the Shanshu Prophecy. Spike had gotten a soul for Buffy. That meant that Spike could also have a chance to become human again. That caused the two vampires to fight about the prophecy.

How I Met Your Mother was about in the year 2030 Ted telling his son and daughter about how he met their mother. The show was about Ted and friends. The show mainly revolves around Ted as he looks for love in New York. Ted’s quest to find true love would often fail and leave him heartbroken, for me that part of the show got old quick. The show tells this story flashbacks while Ted tells this story.

Dollhouse is a very confusing show, so I thought that I should maybe clear up some things. Dollhouse revolved around the Rossum Corporation running numerous underground establishments all around the world. The program involved individuals referred to as Actives or Dolls with temporary personalities and skills. Wealthy clients hire Actives from Dollhouses at great expense for various purposes, including heists, sexual encounters, assassinations, expert counsel, and all manner of unique experiences. The series primarily follows the Active known as Echo, played by Eliza Dushku, on her journey towards self-awareness. The Dolls are imprinted by a chair that wipes their minds making it that they don’t remember anything. The only things that they can remember are their names, the people around them in the Dollhouse, basic things in the Dollhouse and to trust their handlers. Topher who imprints the Dolls, created the personality that the Dolls were imprinted with. He made this by creating whole human personalities and adding in the personalities of dead people. The Actives at the Los Angeles Dollhouse were named after the NATO phonetic alphabet. Other Dollhouses were shown to use other naming systems. Dollhouse was filled with so many plot twists over its short run. This includes the reveal that Claire was a Doll and in season two the reveal that she was a sleeper active. That was known after she walked into Topher’s office after being gone from the Los Angeles Dollhouse for a while, and shooting Bennett in the head. Bennett imprinted the Dolls in the Washington Dollhouse and she wanted Also that she was imprinted as the CEO of the Rossum Corporation. For it’s season finales Dollhouse would jump to a near post-apocalyptic future. This future was caused by the Rossum Corporation and the Dollhouses. All of the shows main characters return in this future, but they aren’t Dolls anymore. They were themselves again, well except for Whiskey. In the season one finale, they wanted to make it look like after all of those years Claire was still in the Dollhouse waiting for Boyd to return for her. In season two, we learned that he was never going to return to her because he was dead. He died after Claire was turned into a Doll again. I think there was some part of Claire that was still in Whiskey’s mind. I think that she was telling her to stay and wait for Boyd to come back for her. I think this because Claire didn’t know what happened to him, she was gone before his death. Also in a way he kind of killed Claire, with him working for the CEO of Rossum and Whiskey was imprinted as the CEO. When describing this show to people. I’ve just said that the easiest way to explain it is that the show is about these people called Dolls, and that they are like secret agent prostitutes. For me this is the easy way explain the show without getting into all the confusing details that made up Dollhouse.

The characters that Joss Whedon writes are ones that people including me care about and that’s why I wrote this theory. The characters in the Whedonverse are ones that are very different from most characters from the other shows and movies, in my opinion. To the way these characters are introduced to the way they’re killed off or if not killed then leave the show. The characters that Acker and Denisof played in Angel are the reason I started this theory. Amy Acker’s performances in anything she’s ever been in have always amazed me and leave me wondering what’s next or what happened to her character. Her roles over the years Whedonverse or not are what drove me to write this. Death in the Whedonverse is very common ask any Joss Whedon fan and they will tell you what deaths are the saddest. This theory wouldn’t be a thing if it wasn’t for two of those saddest death in the Whedonverse, no one wanted Fred or Wesley to die but then the characters that they played later on wouldn’t have had that connection back to them. Will you know other than the fact that the actors playing the characters are same. This whole theory may look really crazy, but I feel like if you look past the craziness of it all. I’ve made a connection though these works that I’ve also supported with facts from the works themselves. I always hear people talking about the shows they like and saying that their favourite characters are dead. This always makes me want to say to them that they don’t know a sad character death before watching a Joss Whedon show, or that they don’t know what it’s like to be an Amy Acker fan because her characters are always killed off or are in pain.

Angel covered more of there being other dimensions in the Buffyverse. They talked about dimensions on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but not as much as they did on Angel. Throughout Angel they were always talking about other dimensions or they went to other dimensions. Two of those dimensions were Pylea and Quor'toth. Pylea was the home dimension of Lorne, also Cordelia was the Queen of Pylea. But most importantly Pylea was where we first met Winifred “Fred” Burkle. Living in a cave hiding from demons wanting to kill her, Fred was driven crazy by this dimension. Quor’toth was a hell dimension that was introduced in season 3 of Angel. When Quor’toth was first introduced, Angel’s son Connor had just been sent there. In this dimension people twice as fast as they do in the real world. They expanded on this dimension more in the graphic novel by explaining the demons of the dimension.

Fred is one of my favourite characters of all time and that’s why her death causes me so much pain. After having to deal with Fred’s death then Wesley’s really made me think that this couldn’t have been the end for those characters. Later I find out that maybe it wasn’t and like the final words said by Amy’s character, The Machine on Person of Interest. “And maybe this isn’t the end at all.” When I heard her say those words it reminded me of this crazy theory that I had made up in my mind months earlier. It reminded me of the painful deaths of Fred and Wesley. How after Wesley wanted to be with Fred from the moment he met her. Only after he finally got to be with Fred, who he had loved for so long. Dies, she died in his arms. After telling her that he loves her, she dies. Why did this happen to them? A lot of people want to know this. But after writing all of this, it makes me think that their deaths weren’t the end. I don’t believe in any kind of afterlife but these are fictional universes, and in a fictional universe anything is possible. With that, maybe they did get to be together after all. That’s all I’ve ever wanted was for Fred to be happy and, throughout Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel I wanted to see Wesley be happy as well. I’ve heard some people say that because of what Wesley did to Faith he deserved to have Fred, the love of his life taken away from him. Faith is also one of my favourite Whedonverse characters, but I think that she is the reason why a lot of the bad things that happened to her. Faith caused many problems on both Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. After time passed she also fixed a lot of the problems for her eventual friends but earlier in those shows she was just causing problems and blaming other people for her problems. Wesley didn’t deserve Fred’s death, no one deserved Fred’s death. My heart is still broken from watching the fifth season of Angel. It doesn’t help that almost every other show or movie that I watch that Amy’s in she dies. It’s taking to the point now that I just think to myself. When will this stop? When will I get to see a character that I’ve grown to love played by Amy not die. Not all of her characters die but most of them do. This just brings me back to what I was saying earlier with the maybe this isn’t the end that at all thing. That was said because the show was pending being canceled, the show ended up being canceled but they wanted to give the chance to not be over. Basically saying maybe this is just the beginning. This brings me back to Fred and Wesley, maybe their story wasn’t over and they just had to figure out how to find each other in other lives. I like that idea, that after their tragic fate they found each other and when it didn’t work out they would find each other again, or try to. Every life they lead had an effect on the outcome of their story and how they finally met again. How these characters fell in love again and maybe even more times. This theory could be their story or it could just be nonsense, but maybe it could be.

Many of Joss Whedon’s work has been turned into graphic novels in the past few years, this is good for fans like me who wanted more from these shows. Firefly, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Dollhouse, Dr.Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog and spin offs of these works were made into graphic novels. These have been able to show more to some of these show because some did get cancelled after a short time on air and they’ve also been able to show other sides sides to some characters. With bringing these series back into graphic novels we’ve seen many beloved characters be killed off and also some brought back to life, Fred was one of those characters that was brought back. After Illyria sacrificed herself for Buffy and the Scooby gang as well as to to bring back magic, Illyria thought about Fred and Wesley as she died. Fred was brought back to life after Illyria died, but Illyria didn’t really die. When Fred comes back she says to Angel that Illyria is still apart of her and that she remembers some of the things that Illyria did when using Fred’s body as her vessel. The part of this that’s the saddest is how Fred saw and remembers watching Wesley’s death. Fred is one of my favourite characters in the Whedonverse and Buffyverse, so seeing her return meant a lot to me. I think that the shows will always be better than the graphic novels but there are some moments like Fred’s return that make these worth reading. Also Fred and Faith become best friends like Buffy and Willow, so that fact alone makes me want to read more because they are my favourite characters. Fred’s still Illyria but it’s better than not having Fred come back at all. But I will still never get over Fred’s death for as long as I live. One of the saddest things I’ve ever seen has to be when Fred says that everything reminds her of Wesley. The graphic novels also answer a lot of questions that were left unanswered by the shows. I’m still reading these series and can’t wait to finish them but from what I’ve read so far a lot has been answered for me. I have to say, the only downside of Fred coming back to life is that it puts a hole in this theory.

Theories have always been apart of the Buffyverse, either as jokes or just character saying that they have one. Throughout Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel the characters were always talking about how they have a theory about what going on in that episode or episodes. Fred was always saying that she had a theory about how to fixed something or she would talk about theories. I think that the best thing about Fred and theories was that in the Angel season four episode, Spin the Bottle. We learned that Fred is a conspiracy theorist. In the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Once More With Feeling. There is even a song where the cast sings about their theories on why they think everyone’s singing. There are also many theories on the Whedonverse and Buffyverse, so I know this is one of many. I find that very interesting that theories just play such an important role in these shows and can sometimes show the outcome of it. There are many fan theories in the Whedonverse, Joss has said before that he agrees with some of these theories and has confirmed some. It’s weird but theories have an important part in this theory.

In conclusion, I think this theory has a strong possibility of being real in these fictional universes. I really would like to think that Fred and Wesley got to be together after being torn away from each other. It would have been a really cute to have them end up together in other lives, because of the way they were tragically taken away from each other in Angel. Ever since I started really thinking about these shows and characters, putting these connections together, it wouldn’t leave my mind. Now almost everything I do I can find a connection back to these characters. It took two months with some sleepless nights of just me thinking about the plot of these shows and the characters and how it could all connect. This theory has also made me really relate to Amy’s character Fred. Fred was always talking about theories and even in one episode she gave a lecture on her physics theory, it didn’t end very well for her but still. I guess that’s one of the reasons I wrote this. Seeing Fred so proud of herself because of her theory, feeling like she had the world. I wanted to feel like I was like Fred. As someone who is inspired by Amy Acker everyday, this means a lot to me to be like Fred. I hope to one day be like Amy, an actress. My dream in life is to work with her. Thank you to anyone who made it through reading all of this crazy mess. That’s amazing if you did and that means a lot to me. I would also like to thank my friends and family who had to hear me talk about this theory for so long. Lastly I would like to thank Amy, Alexis and Joss for being the reasons why I wrote this to begin with, their work is amazingly brilliant and some of the best I’ve ever seen. It also has changed the way I see and listen to everything now. I hope that this theory changed the way you see these show, like the way it changed the way I see them. If you are reading this now, this is the fifth version of this theory that I’ve written. When I first posted this on my Tumblr I got so many nice comments and messages. Thank you to everyone who enjoyed this, it means the world to me.p>

[fluffybunnybadass]

The three TGP sisters, plus Melody (Pokeverse) and Alt-Melody. Maybe Douchebagel, too.

the prompt

Full Name:Gender and Sexuality:Pronouns:Ethnicity/Species:Birthplace and Birthdate:Guilty Pleasures:Phobias:What They Would Be Famous For:What They Would Get Arrested For:OC You Ship Them With:OC Most Likely To Murder Them:Favorite Movie/Book Genre:Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche:Talents and/or Powers:Why Someone Might Love Them:Why Someone Might Hate Them:How They Change:Why You Love Them:

Sarai Chiaki

Full Name: Sarai Lin ChiakiGender and Sexuality: Female and Demiro Pansexual. Or maybe bi, but I’m honestly not sure for her in particular.Pronouns: She/herEthnicity/Species: Human/technically half-celestial, JapaneseBirthplace and Birthdate: [sputtering noises for birthplace], I forget if I kept her berdei the same as mine considering how quickly she ran from being a self-insert like right away from point of creation. :TGuilty Pleasures: [HURR HURR] reading fluffy stuff on the occasion, thinking about dat romancePhobias: being hurt/betrayed, some heights??? I forget. I don’t think her fears came up much when I was using her. :T;What They Would Be Famous For: Last I checked, it’s underground poprock star [currently a Paramore cover band]What They Would Get Arrested For: Trespassing, tbh.OC You Ship Them With: no one atm?? i mean i’d probably ship her with her bandmates if I had to pick a ship, since her and Shroud are kind of not a thing anymore [actual reason: don’t talk to that mun anymore]OC Most Likely To Murder Them: idk Raven probably [of mine, uh. QB I guess, she’s the only one to actually commit murder out of like everyone]Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Action/comedyLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: dramas/period dramasTalents and/or Powers: uhhh does being chronically depressed count uhhh she’s kinda good at her cover band gig. She’s the only one in her family that seems to be powerless, even though her parents are a celestial/angel and a powerful mage, she has 0 abilities. She secretly blames her older sisters for taking all of them, even if that isn’t the case anymore.Why Someone Might Love Them: She was the quirky LULZ RANDOM1!! teen, also is treated poorly by her narrative tbqh...Why Someone Might Hate Them: She’s chronically depressed as of late/has become hardened as a result, like even to the point of another OC known for being a bitch coming in and being like “dude. stop being a bitch. you’re a human it’s literally against your biological inclinations to isolate yourself and be vitriolic.”How They Change: already answered above, but they go from being the low-key depressed but presenting RANDUMS LULZ!!! teen and eventually become full-blown depression because wow she has nothing to offer the world and continues to lack reasons to believe opposite.Why You Love Them: I... made... her??? like I don’t even know. Also maybe because we vibe a lot on the whole “I’m nothing special, everyone else [in my family] has something special about them” aspects of bad brain thinking.

Hamano Chiaki

Full Name: Hamano [nee Chiaki]. I forget her husband’s last name lolwoops. [alternatively, wonder if the girls all just. keep their last name and it’s only a technicality. They’re all still referred to as the Chiaki sisters, after all]Gender and Sexuality: female and I don’t know!! hetero/guy-loving?Pronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: Human/half-celestial, JapaneseBirthplace and Birthdate: [whirrrling noises] I forget her birthday i’m sure it’s on her lj/gaia.... apparently it’s 9/30? huh. I always thought she was a summer muse. ok then.Guilty Pleasures: TRASHY ROMANCE MOVIES/NOVELS, like they’re so bad but she loves all the cheesy romance stuff. and some of the trashy stuff too. Phobias: Not being able to help someone/her sisters, losing her sisters.What They Would Be Famous For: Clothes/designing/teaching design!What They Would Get Arrested For: nothing she is too good. [maybe if mind-reading is illegal]OC You Ship Them With: @whenocsareooc / @curseyoupikachu ’s  Mikhail. ..Kurogawa? or was that someone else’s last name lol.OC Most Likely To Murder Them: who would want to murder her. qb doesn’t count, she’s always dtmFavorite Movie/Book Genre: Romance/”chick flicks”Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: hypermasculine action festsTalents and/or Powers: Psychic. Telekinesis, telepathy, spirit sensing, etc etc.Why Someone Might Love Them: She’s super sweet and her love of romance stuff is p. admirable.Why Someone Might Hate Them: she’s “too girly” and “cheats by mindreading”How They Change: She was a romance tryhard and flirty with all the boys, she eventually calms down when she finally meets Mikhail [she’s always been faithful to whomever she was dating, but she rarely found someone she was attracted to like. all the time. or something.]. She also goes from being the quiet middle sheep between her older and younger sister, and more actively mediates and takes part in their lives, instead of doing whatever she felt would create the least amount of strife. She goes from being a little timid about getting in the middle of things, to stepping in when she sees/senses the need for it. Why You Love Them:  SHE’S LIKE MY BLACK SHEEP I ACCIDENTALLY NEVER DO ANYTHING WITH HER, BUT I STILL LOVE HER BECAUSE EVEN IF SHE’S LIKE ALL MY GIRLY TROPES ROLLED INTO A CHARACTER, I LOVE HOW UNABASHEDLY HAPPY SHE IS ABOUT BEING A GIRL??? LIKE. YOU GO GIRL. #INSPIRATION.

Sakamoto Chiaki

Full Name: Sakamoto Chiaki-HertzmorderGender and Sexuality: Female, greysexual? //SHRUGSPronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: human/half-celestial, JapaneseBirthplace and Birthdate: we just don’t know but it’s probably in Japan, and I thought it was later in may but maybe I was thinking of ALL THE PEOPLE I KNOW WITH MARCH/MAY BDAYS anyways it’s 5/18 apparently Guilty Pleasures: don’t tell anyone but her husband but she rly likes the soft quiet moments where she actually gets to be vulnerable/not strong, SHE WILL NOT HESITATE TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE IF YOU FIND OUT., also i’m sure there’s something else but that was the only thing to come to mind lolPhobias: Losing, getting killed, being the reason for any harm/death to come to her sisters/familyWhat They Would Be Famous For: The Potion Seller who sells you their strongest potion. am i memeing this right. also for kicking your ass with magic without breaking a sweat What They Would Get Arrested For: setting people/places on fire.OC You Ship Them With: Viktor!! :DOC Most Likely To Murder Them: lol... I’m pretty sure my friend’s OC Raven still has dibs despite them pretty much being extended family/distant relate-mates [both tough, closed off women with happier little sisters and known for being powerful as well, getting worned down by a pair of dashingly handsome vampire brothers.], but it’s more like a case of “You don’t get to die until I say you do. Only *I* am allowed to take your life.” [also a bit of pun, seeing as Raven is her realm’s goddess of death. XD]Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Nonfiction books, mostly spell/information/learning booksLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: any movies but mostly romance and action. and terribly written/”unrealistic” fantasy movies [no one is able to watch their random fantasy series around her because “THAT’S NOT HOW MAGIC WORKS WHAT THE FUCK”]Talents and/or Powers: magical AF. like. literally. High MP pool to cast those big powerful spells down a few times and blast your ass into the next 5 dimensions. Also can read tarot despite it not being a very magical thing. Why Someone Might Love Them: She’s a strong woman who don’t need no man, sarcastic af, she takes no shit.Why Someone Might Hate Them: OP af, closed off/distant even to her own siblings; kinda fucks up raising her kids/connecting with her daughter because of this.How They Change: She learns to open up more and become less imposing/threatening to her own children, especially when it shows much strain in her relationship with her own daughter. While the gap can never truly become completely filled, they have worked together on making a bridge, and as a result, she’s opened up to helping people more, whereas before it was a sort of “obligation” to the greater good. She was also mostly concerned with kicking her dad’s ass for his manipulation of his children and neglect, but while she’s nowhere near saying that she has familial love (or any kind of love for that matter) for her father, she no longer hates and despises him/just barely tolerates him.* Why You Love Them: see “reasons why someone might love them”

*bonus fact: he tries to give the Chiaki-Hertzmorder family branch gifts of goodwill, such as incredibly expensive pottery and vases and shit, and Sakamoto just lets her kids use them as target practice..... LOL. someone broke a vase? As long as it was from your grandfather it’s all good.

Melody (Pokeverse)

Full Name: Melody Ann Anson [nee Hikari]Gender and Sexuality: female, demiro (gr)ace. I think.Pronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: Human, Kanto nativeBirthplace and Birthdate: Saffron City, 11/30/90Guilty Pleasures: buhhhhhhhhh [whirrling noise] going on adventures now that she’s a responsible adulting mom. how do u go on an adventure with two toddlers and a husband that’s a Champion and y’all are pseudo-celebs/recognizeable that is hard ok.Phobias: death, somehow doing something unforgivable, losing everything.What They Would Be Famous For: being the most accomplished trainer ever woops. [okay like. being a Champion and being married to an elite four member slash Champion? and winning a few cups/tournaments here and there? like how much MORE famous/footnote in history can you get]What They Would Get Arrested For: buhbuhbuh breaking and entering in order to free some pokemon that were being illegally kept/treated improperly lolOC You Ship Them With: no one :T [i feel like there ALMOST was one at some point. but I don’t think they were within this realm/history/limitation]OC Most Likely To Murder Them: no one within realm.Favorite Movie/Book Genre: adventure/fantasy books, action/comedies moviesLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: poorly done Kiss of LifeTalents and/or Powers: she’s a really strong/awesome trainer? and she could have been a really Masterful Coordinator in her late teens/early twenties/current age if she had kept interest in them. [Unfortunately, becoming a Pokemon Master > Pokemon Coordinator]. Why Someone Might Love Them: idk she’s just p. neatWhy Someone Might Hate Them: [insert people screaming MARY SUE here despite that getting worked on]How They Change: She starts out as this kind of. Openly willful kid, with a very expressive way about what was right and well (so I guess.. that’s like. 8th grade syndrome or whatever?), but she eventually matures, and in her early twenties she’s just this. Much more calm/reserved/wise-seeming adult who seems to have their life together, though in reality she’s still just trying to figure it out, especially when the itch to adventure isn’t something you can’t just up and do anymore when you’ve got a husband, a home, children, essentially “Settled”. Why You Love Them: she my bae/first gal  

Alt-Melody

Full Name: [redacted]Gender and Sexuality: female-presenting [maybe agender] and i’m not sure if she’s just lesbian or pan.Pronouns: she/her/they/themEthnicity/Species: humanBirthplace and Birthdate: [redacted]Guilty Pleasures: watching her girlfriend/wife?? idk tbh it’s very hard when I never really got into their character much.Phobias: becoming weak, not being able to defend/protect her gf.What They Would Be Famous For: hacking i guess.What They Would Get Arrested For: hacking, lol. and illegal time/realm travelOC You Ship Them With: alt!kiraOC Most Likely To Murder Them: QB, maybe a handful of friend’s OCs.Favorite Movie/Book Genre: tech/instruciton manuals, information booksLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: literally any of them.Talents and/or Powers: I... don’t remember terribly well? I’m not sure if she also has time/realm travel abilities or if she had a device for it. She is more warrior-trained than her alt/original.Why Someone Might Love Them: idk tough quiet person made of stone who loves her frilly gf and that dynamic between the two?Why Someone Might Hate Them: she’s p. plain for an alt.How They Change: idk she marries her gf //THROWS HANDS UP IN THE AIRWhy You Love Them: i don’t have the same affection for her like I did a lot of the other characters, but she did slap some sense into her alt [literally], so bonus points for that. *thumbs up*

Douchebagel

Full Name: idk but he’s referred to in-universe as Mafia Purge and in the past as an Alpha Purge.Gender and Sexuality: he i guess, aropan? i forget. either aropan or aroace.Pronouns: he/him/it/shitballEthnicity/Species: futuristic human thing being now made of timespace ether???Birthplace and Birthdate: one of the many alternate sc5 realms/timelines that was all mafia themed, and he was one of the few to be successful/killed his timeline’s UlalaGuilty Pleasures: everything he does is a guilty pleasure.Phobias: uh. i forget if spiders was a universal alt/purge phobia or not.What They Would Be Famous For: he is literally famous within that rpverse as being the Fallen, the ex-Alpha, for being a piece of shit, and when he and QB meet in timeline, for actually being one of the few people to give QB a run for her money.What They Would Get Arrested For: [LAUGH TRACK]OC You Ship Them With: crackships alpha and qb. separately. tho man now i wonder how the fuck a poly would work with them that would be interesting/hilarious AF.OC Most Likely To Murder Them: QB, Alpha, any of the other alt Purges... they all also HAVE killed him he’s just. beyond normal lifeline/timeline cycles when he originally ascended to Alpha status.Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Crime lol. Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Where the crimelords don’t win like where’s the realism in that.Talents and/or Powers: where do i begin? Spacetime manipulation for one, manipulation of people for another, being insanely uber powerful that only other beings who have ascended to a statehood of Alpha can even come close to harming him, making even QB hesitate. I forget what else but man he’s. he’s... someone you don’t wanna mess with, like actual demigod level here.Why Someone Might Love Them: he literally is scum the only thing he has going for him is being a source of drama and being someone QB would hatefully run from/avoid conflict with.Why Someone Might Hate Them: he is a piece of shit and tortures all his alts without remorse and is essentially the one who ruined alpha’s life, PLEASE GIVE ALPHA HIS HAPPINESS AND CHEERFUL NATURE BACK KTHXHow They Change: he gets more powerful, merges with a demon, comes back as an uber demon. is still unsuccessful.Why You Love Them: LOVE HATE MAN LOVE HATE CAN YOU SEE WHY DO I REALLY NEED TO SPELL IT OUT.

[kennedydevin-blog]

OOC WEEK: DAY THREE

RAPID FIRE:

Tea or coffee? Tea. I get this really great tea from this place in the farmer’s market here. I currently have an iced lemon cake & a Hawaiian Sunset tea. They’re amazing. 

Stars or planets? Planets. I’m a planets person! 

Sun or moon? Moon. I love the moon with all my being. 

Black or white? Black. I look much better in black than white. Plus my cat is black, so that cat furr totally 

The zoo or the aquarium? Animals living free away from human interference. Neither, to be honest. I love animals too much to put them in captivity like that. 

Drama or comedy? A difficult decision, but drama wins by just a hair. Mostly because a lot of what I watch has drama in the title. I watch more crime drama than anything else. 

Thriller or adventure? Adventure. 

Short walks to the fridge or long walks on the beach? I love to walk, but like... not really on the beach. 

Indoors or outdoors? Although it depends on the day, to be honest. I love being outside. 

Animals or plants? I cannot keep plants alive to save my life, but it’s always been a dream to have an apartment with white walls, & plants hanging on every nook and cranny in the place. 

Time alone or time with others? I love being alone. I mean... as long as my cat is with me.

Introvert or extrovert? I think the above question answers why I’m an introvert.

Silence or music? Both, really. There are times when I just like to listen to the sounds of the house. But there are also times where I love listening to music. 

Darkness or light? Except when I’m trying to write or read. 

Cats or dogs? I know I have a dog, buttttttt.... my cat is the love of my life. If she were an actual person, I’d marry her. 

Dancing or being the wallflower? Although it depends on the people I’m with, because I will dance if I’m with certain people. 

Right or left? I write with my left hand, so I guess left. 

Werewolves or vampires? Both are good. I have started to have an appreciation for vampires because of the Lore podcast. The first episode was about vampires, but there have been several on people that transform which are ALWAYS fascinating. Literally this podcast is my life. Check this podcast out, you won’t be sorry. My favorite is this episode about lighthouses.

Dressing stylishly or dressing comfortably? I say as I’m sitting here... in my Grace Potter shirt, my Hamilton sweatshirt, sweatpants, & neon socks.

Sunrise or sunset? I think the sunset colors are prettier.

Lead or follow? Yikes, depends on the situation, but most of the time, leader. 

Optimist or pessimist? There’s no doubt about that.

Staying up late or waking up early? I say... as I go to bed before midnight every night except Thursday.

Speaking up or staying silent? I’ll often get into fights for just saying what I feel in a situation, especially if something is disgusting. 

White lies or brutal honesty? I mean... I’m a compulsive liar, but... I normally tell the truth to people... most of the time. Depends on the human.

Ask for permission before doing the stupid thing or ask for forgiveness after doing the stupid thing? Kind of neither. I don’t really do anything that others would consider stupid. 

LONG FORM:

Pet peeves: human existence. I mean, I don’t get annoyed by people often, unless they are just being assholes. Like for instance the people that ask “how can you be vegan & pro-choice” LISTEN ASSHOLE, you’re asking for a fight. Other than people asking questions that are obviously just looking to pick my thoughts and opinions on stuff apart, I am super not annoyed by people. 

Bad habits: I pick at my cuticles, so a lot of the time my fingers start to bleed.

Favourite scents (your amortentia!): Burning wood, Sunkist ( like oranges are good, but sunkist smells amazing ), my cat, lemons. A few of my favorite  scents. I also like lavender, mint, & rosemary. 

Favourite animal: Cats, but don’t tell my dog. I have a lot of favorite animals, but cats are so adorable. 

Favourite colour: Green is my favorite color. 

Favourite place to go (local or otherwise) (photos get bonus points): Honestly, I don’t have any local places that I go because the area I live in is sort of... boring. In New York, there’s this comic book shop I always go to. So probably that’s one of my favorite places. I’ll post some pictures at the bottom.

Favourite meme: ??? I’m not up to date on all the memes, so I don’t really have a favorite. 

Do you have any creative or artistic abilities? Yes, I do! Besides writing, I do watercolors. I can’t draw as well, but I love watercolors. Also, sometimes I knit & I’m learning to make my own soaps because a lot of homemade soaps aren’t vegan??? 

Talk about something that made you happy today, yesterday, this week: It snowed over the weekend! We were supposed to get 7 inches, though it turned out to only be about 4 or 5, but it snowed. I live in North Carolina, so snow doesn’t always happen every year, or not a big snow at least. I just love winter weather so much. 

Talk about an experience that made you feel proud or confident: To be honest, I don’t really know what to put here. I’m not a very prideful person or confident for that matter. 

Talk about something/someone that makes you feel relaxed: Dungeons & Dragons is the only thing that really relaxes me. I have two characters. One of them, Nico Thornbrush, is a halfling ( basically they’re hobbits, but they’re only 3 feet. ) fighter, that recently started to become a paladin -- or holy warrior. He’s only 20 years old, barely old enough to leave home, but he’s just so good... just such a cinnamon roll. But he’s dumb & doesn’t reallly believe in death. My other character though... is a whisper gnome named Ludovic Silvermist -- he goes by Ludo -- ( because I wasn’t allowed to name him Ronald without getting judged ). He’s a trickery cleric, that isn’t very devout to his goddess -- he kind of hates her. He’s all about them lies & deception to get him ahead. He used to be an orphan until a priest took him in. He has a rat named Scabbers that he occasionally talks to because it’s his best friend.

Talk about something you’re yet to try for the first time but want to: Skydiving. 

Who are your role models & why: Okay, so I have a lot of role models. But I’m just going to put a few here, since I don’t want to write novels. 

Matthew Mercer - Matthew is such a great person. I could probably go on & on about the things he’s done that have really inspired me & made me think he’s such a great person, but it would be a novel. If you have played more than one video game, chances are that Matt was a voice in it. He’s got over 300 IMDB credits. Seriously... & his fiance Marisha Ray is very involved with getting better working conditions for voice actors. Matt is that over achieving person that you just want to deck in the face, but he’s so sweet you just can’t bring yourself to do so, but he’s also an evil genius, so there’s that. He always reminds everyone to have faith that everything will work out. Even if it’s about his game, it still translates into real life. He’s created so much & done such a good job at inspiring others to create that I just look up to him for that reason alone.

Practically the entire cast of Critical Role is a role model to me in some way, so I won’t talk about all of them in detail. 

Obama - I think just saying that is enough. His farewell speech was just so amazing & really says everything about why I look up to him. 

Kieron Gillen & Jamie McKelvie - If you don’t read the series The Wicked + The Divine, I highly recommend it because it’s really good. I’ve met Gillen, McKelvie & their colourist Matt Wilson. They’re all really cool people. They’re doing what the love to do, but not only that, they have brought forward political and social issues into a comic series like I’ve never seen anyone do before. I love how these three are doing what they love, while being very aware of what they are creating & how important diversity representation is in media. I mean seriously, read WicDiv. There are themes of sexism and racism. And cultural appropriation v. appreciation is a huge deal as a whole in the comic. Seriously it’s such a diverse comic, I can’t even begin to describe. Not just with sexuality, but gender as well. I look up to them as a reminder that people are capable of change & even our generation can be pressured into thinking things that aren’t true because of media. 

Basically WicDiv is about these pop stars that are actually gods, but instead of living forever, they only have 2 years to live. Then in 90 years, it happens again. Basically, we’ve been told everyone is going to die by the end of the series. Which means my trash son is going  to die :/

Mara Wilson - seriously, just scroll through her twitter. She tells it like it is. I’m so glad Matilda grew up to be such a wonderful adult.

Talk about something you want to do this year: die. Hmm, I’m not sure. One of the biggest things on my list is to try and go to a live Critical Role show, if they have one. I think it would be really awesome to be able to see this show live. I mean... it’s live every week, but they stream from California. Maybe also one of the Night Vale shows. 

Would not recommend going on a Wednesday if you’re ever in NYC. It’s pretty scary with all the people getting all the new comics. 

[totalkpoptrash]

Get To Know Me Tag

    I was tagged a while ago by @awkwardlyjin !!! Thank you for the tag sorry it took me so long I’ve been so busy!

Name: Melissa

Nicknames: Hoboy let’s start this I have a million. My husband calls me Cabbage (I’m married, it’s a thing haha) and he calls me sauerkraut when I’m grumpy XD (Get it, because sauerkraut is pickled cabbage... okay lol it’s stupid :3)He also calls me Bug. My main nickname that my friends call me is Missa, because I always hated being called Missy growing up and liked Missa instead. My mom calls me Boo Boo or Sissy most of the time, or Melsiemae, which is a mash up of my first and middle names. My dad calls me Scooter Bird or Scooter. One of my brothers occasionally calls me Cheese Head, Walrus Head, or Stinkerbell when he’s using childhood nicknames that he used to use to pick on me. My foster brother ALWAYS calls me Little One. My aunt only refers to me as Miss Melissa. She never says my name without the Miss before it haha. In high school a lot of people called me Panda. I go by Axiss on a lot of forums and stuff like Steam and Skype and in games with friends etc. I have two very close friends that started calling me Melrose about 5 years ago and they still call me that lol. Some people also call me Mel. But for the most part, Missa is the easiest way to get me to respond to you hahaha.

Gender: Female

Star Sign: Pisces

Height: 5'2

Sexual Orientation: Basically pansexual. I’m not as worried about gender or identity as long as there is attraction. 

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor!

Favorite Color: Green, black, silver (All slytherin colors ahaha) purples and bright purples, really saturated blues.

Favorite Animal: Dogs, wolves, snakes and horses oh and rats!

Time Right Now: 11:21 PM

Average Hours of Sleep: Uhhh.... maximum of like...5 on a night that I sleep a lot >.>

Cat or Dog Person: Dog

Favorite Fictional Character: Oh how do I even begin to answer this?!?!?! So many! But for the sake of being lazy I’ll say... Probably Darth Vader. He’s so cool XD

Dream Trip: I would love to go to somewhere overseas like Germany or Japan, any kind of new culture and experiences are always great. I have a lot of heritage in Germany so that would be cool. But I’d be super happy also to go back to Disneyland. Yes I’m in my late 20s and Disneyland is still my favorite place. Deal with it >.<

When Was This Blog Created: Uhhh.... a few months ago. I think like... September? October? I can’t remember lol.

When did your blog reach its peak: I don’t think it has yet. I only have like 60 followers but that’s okay :3

What Made You Decide to Make a Tumblr: I didn’t want to flood my other blog with kpop when I mostly posted stuff about bone collecting and art and whatever music I was into at the time and just random stuff, so I made this blog instead and kind of abandoned my old one... @miss-wicked if anyone wanted to check that one out lol. (Warning, some NSFW stuff there on occasion)

How Old Are You: 27

What Are You Talented At: Music! I have always had good rhythm and I was in choir all my life and I can read music and time signatures and stuff. I used to play guitar a little (not very well) but I had to pawn my guitar for gas money to move across the country in 2015 and never got a new one. I also think I’m really good at my job but circumstances are a little garbage at the place I’m working right now with my management team so it’s been really frustrating.

What Is A Big Goal You Are Working Towards: Getting myself back into a supervisor position at work and shoving my foot in stupid manager’s faces. Getting back into art, because it makes me happy. Losing some weight/being more active and eating a little better in general because that also makes me feel better about myself.

What’s your aesthetic: Roaring bonfires, the energy of a crowd at a concert, the Olympic national rain forest. Laying on a trampoline in the middle of the night in the summer with friends. Stacks of novels that have been read over and over and show wear on the bindings. Socks with little holes in the toes. Fingerless gloves and to go cups. Standing at a bus stop early in the morning and dancing alone on the side of the highway. Walking the dog at 3AM when the world can’t see me dancing to the songs that mend the holes in my heart. Cigarette smoke trailing up into the air over a group of people who share a common bond. (I’m gonna try to quit that this year, universe save me from myself) Angry tears that come with lyrics that speak to my soul. Late night chats with global friends. Tumblr. (I’m pretty sure I just summed myself up haha)

Do you collect anything: bones from animals who have died of natural causes, Warhammer 40k models (nerd alert), stuffed animals! Star wars stuff, comic books stuff.

What is a topic you always talk about: Kpop haha, and kdramas, but really just music in general. I will never shut up about music. I talk about my job a lot too, and lately it’s complaining more than talking haha. Scientific advances that I think are really cool. Robotics. Legends and folklore.

What is a pet peeve of yours: Leaving jelly/jam on the counter instead of wiping it up if someone spills it! Being called Missy.

Good Advice: Life moves forward one day at a time, try to move with it instead of clinging to the problems of the past. Things have a way of working out, maybe not always for the best. the thing that seems like an impossible crisis today will find a way to resolution, even if it isn’t exactly what you hope for. Try to make the most of whatever may be, and do what you can to help things work out for the best.

Recommend three songs: 

Dreams by Rogue. This song is something beautiful to me. I really enjoy a lot of techno/industrial/dubstep stuff and this is one of my favorites. The lyrics are simple but meaningful. I really enjoy the vocals. One of my faves for sure.

The Evil in Me by Combichrist. This song is really slow and sort of dark feeling? I love this band so much and I even got to meet them and hang out with them a few years ago. The vocalist, Andy, has a really pleasant voice and accent, and the lyrics of this one are also interesting to me.  

“Nothing really matters here We're dying by default, You're searching for serenity, You're to late.

Cause there is nothing left In the nether world, Another world is rising, And we're doomed to face our faith.”  I always just thought it was an interesting song and I love the way it sounds.

Honeybee by Steam Powered Giraffe. These guys are pretty awesome (Okay guys and girl, The main vocalist, Rabbit with the goggles on his hat is trans and she goes by Bunny now) and I have a fondness for this song because it was the first song I heard from them, and also because my name means Honey Bee in Greek XD I wanted to give some non kpop suggestions and all of these songs are also not pop or mainstream stuff! I hope people will give them a listen to get a taste for some new music! I figured if I posted kpop songs everyone would already know them hahahaha.  Thanks again for the tag! I’ll just tag anyone who wants to do it since I’m not sure who has already lol.