#get his ass bungie!!

[zalia]

See here's the thing with the Bungie layoffs. Either Pete Parsons' work as CEO is valuable enough to warrant his paycheque, in which case he has catastrophically failed at his job with this and should be laid off, or it isn't valuable enough to warrant his paycheque and he should not be employed. And that goes for executives of the same level for basically all the big game studios!

Layoffs should be seen as a massive failure of their leadership and they should be first on the chopping block. No bonuses, no golden handshakes to leave. They FAILED AT THEIR JOBS.

But no, their already rich asses get to keep their 'jobs' while the people who actually do the work (including fucking Robert Brookes what the *hell* Bungie?!?!) get laid off. After their most successful expansion. I'm fucking disgusted.

[destiny-aesthetics]

For now I'm done with the Campaign, the rest of the steps seems to be related to the exotic quest and assuming raid.

Final thoughts, really enjoyed it. Love the story, glad to have Cayde-6 back. It was good to hear Sundance.

Can't get over Cayde calling her His Sundance. God he loved his Ghost, that was his number one lady right there.

One of the mission the architects were really kicking my ass. Bouncing me right off the edge 😑

NOT OKAY WITH THIS! WTF BUNGIE

By the end of this he better be okay, BETTER than okay. The greatest he had ever been. I'm not Osiris or Zavala.

He dies, the the universe will burn! Light or Dark

[rubbarband]

Unlikely pair-Android and Hero

closed rp with @angelfate

It's just a routine day for the bungi hero.

BAM!

Here he was with several other heroes fighting one of the biggest villains in his world, Monstrous Tengu he was called, or M.T just to piss him off- a 12 foot tall bag of unstable anger and super powers. Everyone had one power that could evolve to stronger forms as they grew- this man was an anomaly, he had several vastly different powers.

"Rubba band, I should of known, you'd be a thorn in my side yet again!" The masked villain hissed.

"What can I say, I love being a pain in the ass, you came to my city, and I'm gonna protect it- BET ON THAT!" Desmond would charge enlarging his fist to attack the giant, sending him back a bit.

"This is going on too long....and more heroes are coming- if I get outnumba'd ; Well I've been practicing this!" A grin would spread on the Tengu's face, as his hands crackled with energy, a portal forming in the palm of his hands. he'd turn to Desmond.

"Care to take a trip with me RUBBA BAND!?" He'd beat his mighty wings and fly towards Desmond, opening up a portal right infront of him. He was close enough Desmond couldn't escape and far enough no other heroes could interfere.

Before Desmond knew it, everything went white a moment, then he saw, himself hurling towards the city streets of...someplace he didn't know, but there were people below. "Heads up people!" He'd use his powers to parachute himself so he wouldn't hit anyone. Landing normally, then he'd see M.T swoop past them all, scaring the civilians as des watched him get further and further.

"Damn it! Kal-li can you track him?"

'I can try but it will take time.' His visor lit up a feminine voice picked up.

Des just stood there, looking, not paying attention to the people around him ogling his tail.

[prismabird]

*Collapses* I did it. They’re home.

For those of you who are on Reddit, a Mythical Beast in the Austin area put out a message that the Mythicon Rhett and Link cowboy wooden cutouts were in the back of their warehouse, about to be cut up and thrown out, and would anyone like to rescue them? I live 45 minutes away, so I posted ‘sure, of course! How much fun would it be to get them, decorate them for Christmas, prop them up in my lawn, and confuse all my neighbors? I could shoot a Wheel of Mythicality video! I’ll put them in front of the mall, by the world’s biggest cowboy boots! I’ll leave them on top of the HEB!’

I was half kidding, half serious, 100% high. I don’t even own a truck.

The next day, they message me the address and let me know that the guy working in the warehouse knows to expect me on Monday. Uh oh. I think I’m locked in. What am I going to do? Rent a truck?

Rent a truck, apparently.

Monday morning, I call my friend Liz and ask if she wants to come with me. I’m not so sure about this because you see, I had never DRIVEN a truck before. I’m a bit of a nervous type, and… to say I’m prone to distractions would be an understatement. I’m walking ADHD with a face. I can barely focus on typing up this story because my cat is sitting two feet from me, licking his ass. If I’m going to do something new, especially something physical, I’m usually better alone because even WALKING and talking will cause me to trip over my own feet. This could end in disaster.

But she wants to come, and we head to the Home Depot. I pay, we get the keys, buy a bungie cord, and head out. First obstacle: it is raining, and foggy as hell. Second obstacle: I can’t figure out how to get the door to the truck open. It’s just – I’m turning the key, the little door lock nub pops down, but the door wont open. By this point, Liz is laughing her ass off at me, but takes pity on me and opens the door. Turns out, it was already unlocked. This is going great.

I’m in the driver’s seat. This thing feels HUGE, and I’ve never driven anything bigger than my Mazda CX5. When I back up, it beeps. It FUCKING BEEPS. I am out of my depth. It takes me 5 minutes to get out of the parking lot. I was shaking, refusing to get on the highway for the first 10 minutes. But sure enough, I get a little more confident and finally get the monstrosity out on I-35.

Eventually we make it to the warehouse, and I find a very nice man welding back there. Sure enough, he knew I was coming. “Just back the truck up the loading ramp,” he says.

JUST. BACK. THE. TRUCK. UP. THE. LOADING. RAMP.

I am barely comfortable driving this thing forward on a road. Immediately, thoughts of us tipping over the side of the concrete ramp fill my mind. But we’re too far in. It has to be done.

All the while, Liz is trying to direct me, not from outside the truck like I want, but from the passenger seat. She’s not even looking backward, like she has the fucking Force or something. I’m trying to do it my own way. She keeps yelling directions at me. I start to lose it. “STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP YELLING AT ME! I’M TRYING TO DO THIS BLIND!”

“You’re not blind, I’m guiding you.”

“IF A PERSON IS GUIDING A BLIND PERSON, THEY’RE STILL DOING IT BLIND!”

“No they’re not, they’re -”

“Shush! This is the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life!”

We do not tip over the edge of the ramp, and the nice man loads the cutouts for us. We pull off the ramp and get out to strap them down. This takes twenty minutes (mostly Liz did it, for which I am extremely grateful), and I make a new discovery – these things are SOLID. Like heavy as hell. I don’t know how that man loaded them himself, but I was impressed.

Something about the truck – its shocks suck. So every bump and dip on I-35, Rhett and Link are bouncing and SLAMMING together. Multiple jokes about Rhett and Link banging in the back of the truck ensue, but rest assured, I am terrified. I’m picturing the headlines: “Giant Wooden YouTube Cowboys Kill Family of Four on I-35.”

Finally, we get them to my house. Link is easy enough for the two of us to unload. Rhett is ... more of a challenge. It’s at this point that it occurs to me that my plan of shooting a Wheel of Mythicality video are going to hinge on whether or not I’ll ever get these guys to stay upright in my lawn. This is yet to be seen.

So thanks to my extremely capable friend, and marijuana, there are now two 10-foot tall, 100-pound wooden cutouts just chilling in my garage. I can’t say I regret it. I have the most unique Mythical merch ever. I have no fucking clue what I’ll ever do if I move, which is great because I’m planning to move in a year. Still…no regrets (mild regrets).

[unpopularly-opinionated]

Bungie got me all hype with the Exotic Class Items but the fact that they can only be used with Prismatic is such a buzzkill considering Hunters by far got the shortest end of the Prismatic stick. I get that it's supposedly for balance purposes or whatever, but it's still ass.

I just want to use my Assassin + Synthoceps with Lethal Current but instead I'm stuck with fucking Ascension which is total ass. Like even if I never use it, I'd sooner take Tempest Strike to Ascension, who the fuck uses Ascension.

And as an added bonus fuck you, I know it breaks precedent but I don't care, I wish Bungie would make an exception and let us equip any ornament to the Exotic Class Item because both the default and the ornament in the shop are kinda trash and it really fucks with me assembling any sense of a fashionable build.

I thought about doing a full review for the expansion but I'm not sure that I want to because I think I'll be really living up to my URL so here's the cliff notes version (spoiler alert: I clearly don't understand the meaning of the term "cliff notes"):

Gameplay-wise I thought it was pretty good. Obviously, as a Hunter main, I think Prismatic was kind of all hype with nothing to show for it, but I acknowledge that this is because I've only played Hunter. I don't think this discounts my take on it much though because it should've been good for all classes, and it just wasn't for us. Boo hoo, I guess. But the missions themselves were good. Overflows, while I'm sick of them now, I think are objectively the best "Public" Events (aside from Escalation Protocol RIP). I love the gun No Hesitation, it definitely aided in my friend and I finishing some of those later missions on Legend by being able to heal him and by extension myself.

Story-wise I thought it was very contrived and bad, aside from the ending. The Cayde stuff was pretty good, I thought, contrivance-aside. The Zavala stuff was very very bad. I had two major gripes with it, one of which I'll grant you is my own personal thing, but the big one which isn't personal is that we've literally already told this story before so why are we suddenly retreading it? Season of the Haunted already dealt with Zavala's dead family and he made his peace with it, but now all of a sudden he's not at peace with it and is tempted by the Witness to get his family back? I'm sorry but that's just contrived and boring.

My lesser, personal gripe was with Keith David voicing him... I'm sorry, but the guy only has one voice and I already associate him with the President from Rick and Morty, so the entire time I'm playing I'm not taking anything seriously because all I hear is the President. I swear, they even wrote Zavala lines that straight up sounded like shit the President in that show would say. This, compounded with the fact that they couldn't actually pull the trigger on killing Zavala off, meaning at some point Keith David's gonna have to come back to voice him, it just bothered me. I actually could've looked past his voice entirely if they killed him off because then I'd at least be able to understand that they were put in an awkward position with Lance Reddick dying.

The ending was pretty good at least. I liked the "We... I..." moment as the Witness is dying, I thought that was pretty good writing. Excision was honestly such a cool mode, I kind of wish they'd do more like that but I understand it's technically-complex.

I'm unsure of how I'd score it exactly. By far it has probably the most content since Forsaken, but arguably the third worst story (above Shadowkeep and Lightfall). I want to rate it highly because of how much fun I had the past few weeks since it came out, but I am hung up on the lackluster addition of Prismatic and the awful story.

Overall, I guess I'll call it a 7/10.

[thefirstknife]

BEL?!???

NIGHTMARES? HAUNTING?? ROOT?!!

HHELLO NEZAREC?!?? HI HELLO HI?!?!

My best friend?? my pal, my homeboy, my rotten soldier, my sweet cheese, my good time boy, my nightmare manipulatior?!?!!

HELLO?!?!

(low key sad hes not a fair weather ally but a raid boss but hey! who knows? maybe he'll have dialogue and this is just him having a grand time and seeing if we're up to snuff? coping so hard please 🥺)

Just now saw that you also sent me this, oops. Actually a good opportunity because I re-read my other reply to an ask and thought I sounded way too convinced about stuff we know nothing about. Things are rarely super clear to the point where we can be confident about new expansion story and raid.

The point about the nightmares not being exclusively his still stands (that we know of!), but as I mentioned back then, we still don't know if the nightmares are inherently tied to Pyramids originally or if the Pyramids are making them by using a resource they acquired from someone or somewhere. That's one of the things I hope we'll find out! Because it is absolutely possible that Nezarec did originate the nightmares and then distributed the source for that power to other Pyramid ships.

Looking back at the previous ask and all of this and the insisting on the "nightmare" and "dreams" stuff (which can be seen in the soundtrack names), it might be possible that they're attempting to consolidate certain aspects of the Darkness lore. It's definitely easier to tie a few things together and give us a banger raid than to leave it open. Cleaning up loose ends and all.

NO clue how this could possibly tie into what appears to be a beam of Light and plants overtaking a Pyramid and why the nightmares would be related and why Nezarec would be there and in what form. Like, there's definitely a ton of absolutely WILD shit going down in Lightfall and predicting anything is basically impossible so pretty much any theory might be right.

For all we know, he could even be in the form of an ally due to the Light beam perhaps? What got me re-thinking things is something I've noticed in the video Bungie posted about their process of making the soundtrack no less. So, in the vidoc (0:50-0:55) I saw this bit and noticed the statue with a scythe in the right side of the screen.

It intriguied me immediately because of the scythe, but you can't see much of it so there's no point thinking about it. But in the music video today? Immediately caught my attention because they showed more of it (at 4:50):

That's a whole ass creature. It looks less like a statue also. It looks kinda like a Tormentor? But not really: it has a head. At first I didn't want to bother with it more because there's literally no way to know, but then later all this stuff with the raid was revealed and it got me thinking now. Especially with your ask!

This is also presumably the Pyramid that gets hit by the beam, since we later see the cutscene with the Witness going through plants and there's a long corridor in the background which looks like this one. We have no clue what the beam actually does, but from looking at the raid image, it very clearly is in some way overtaking the Pyramid. Which is also the vibe I'm getting from the scene itself, as the plants are bursting in:

Anyway, I am losing my mind now with overthinking every single piece of footage. I would still love something new and wild in the raid, but honestly with how this stuff is set up, even Nezarec would be new and wild. Because like, how. Is this why the Witness wanted his body parts? But then again, it didn't get them because we stole them. But then again, they're on the HELM and we're heading into battle with it, unless we secured them somewhere before.

This raid image is absolutely wild to me. Nezarec could very well be a boss or a character. At least parts of him. Don't get super excited (I'm trying to keep not too excited), but at this point I simply have no clue. Well done Bungie, you have bamboozled me. For all we know, maybe the Traveler is a raid boss at this point (that's a joke. I hope).

I'll always mention something that I never see Nezarec fans mentioning and I talked about it in this post which is also your ask and also about Nezarec (😂). That he was known to the Hive, or at least to Sylok, as Nastareth, and worshipped through pain. Just for good measure.

Anyway, be prepared to be surprised as I have genuinely no idea what might be going on here or in Lightfall in general. We're truly in the wildest territory now. Forfeiting any predictions and theories and any strong opinions about what the raid will be about. It could genuinely be anything.

[thepragmaticwarlock]

I know some people are staunch Osiris lovers and I keep seeing posts about how stupid ppl are for getting annoyed at Osiris and not seeing that his bad attitude are forms of grief and urgency.

Like yes I understood why Bungie wrote him the way they did- I get that it’s supposed to be a manifestation of his grief and feelings of losing his light.

I also feel like they also used his character to try and add urgency into the campaign which overall imo there was no sense of urgency. Despite what we saw in the opening cutscene the story felt like a meandering romp through a new and fun city. Not exactly the last ditch effort to stop the Witness in his tracks. Osiris definitely tried to make us feel that and it obviously didn’t click with a lot of people.

I also don’t think it’s Osiris yelling and being an ass that specifically annoyed a lot of people. I was legitimately getting angry at Osiris and his treatment of our Guardian. Frankly on a personal level idc what someone is going through I don’t want to be talked to that way - most people don’t. So when a rpg game has a character talking to the player like that is often feels personal because of the nature of rpgs. Hence why his behavior annoyed so many players. There’s also a major lack of resolution between Osiris and our Guardian. Osiris gets resolution with Nimbus where the two understand each other better by the end but our Guardian doesn’t get that. Often in Destiny when NPCs treat each other poorly there is some resolution to it or acknowledgement of it in the story - eg Crow and Saladin, Caitl and Zavala. When characters interact there is usually a resolution to conflicts between them.

As a player character we don’t get that. Which is why is feels extremely off putting to have Osiris kinda being a raging dick for most of the DLC to transitioning to our patient, wise mentor in our training montage. When he wasn’t acting like that just a few missions before. And then he gets some great scenes with Nimbus and him delving deeper into their grief. And of course that gives us as the player context to his behavior BUT it doesn’t resolve his treatment of our Guardian and his behavior towards them on a character to character based interaction. Part of this is of course Bungies dislike of assigning any emotion, consequence, character arc to our Guardian. So things don’t really happen to the Guardian, things more happen around the Guardian and the Guardian is simply there. But that’s an entire other issue that at least in this DLC Bungie put some work towards fleshing the Guardian out besides empty void that you run around killing things as and dress up. (at least we got voice lines)

So ya of course many players are annoyed at Osiris. People irl that act like that can be grating and frustrating to interact with esp in stressful high stake situations. Bringing a character like that into the realm of fiction doesn’t mean people will automatically be able to ignore his flaws and understand he’s just going through extreme grief. Coupled with any form of resolution between him and our guardian. I personally found Osiris annoying af in this DLC. I get why - and I think he did need to be written like that BUT I also would have a very different opinion if we even got a convo between Ghost and Osiris where he not necessarily apologizes but at least directly addresses his grief to the Guardian. (Which I’m sure there were some throw away voicelines where this does happen but nothing memorable). I also am still going to be annoyed at Osiris even though I understand why he was the way he was during this DLC. Like it’s okay to dislike a character.

[ahamkara-apologist]

I just want Sagira to come back 😭😭

GOD ME TOO...if they don't have her in final shape im personally going to go to bungie's headquarters to bap them all with a broom (which tbf should be done anyways but still. you get what i mean). no hate to Cayde but I have zero interest in seeing his ass in FS after his story got a neat grief processing and wrap-up bundle in-game already, while Sagira sacrificed herself in a lore tab and got only a few snippets by comparison. I just want to see her snarky ass again

(though if you're talking about Sagira coming back from the dead, that DOES have way more narrative potential than anything with the blue unicorn would, so...I've got no hopes but I'm just sayin'...the phoenix's ember wouldn't exactly fuck the whole story over if she rekindled)

[juicypassionfruit]

Behind The Scenes

Summary: Meeting Raab for the first time

Warnings: Raab and his shitty underwear, swearing

Working for Jackass the show was great. It was probably the easiest job Y/n’s ever had. Of course they did their work and made sure everything was perfect, but it had less pressure than any other show they’ve worked.

When the producers informed them there was going to be a movie, this sparked their interest immediately. The show wasn’t popular but enough to be able to make a movie. When Y/n got offered the job, they were ecstatic. A chance to work with their favorite co workers again.

The Jackass crew had taken a particular liking to Y/n. Maybe it was how laid back they were or maybe the way they laughed at everything they did. Whatever it was they loved to be around them. And of course Johnny would shamelessly flirt and make comments, which would get Bam riled up for Y/n’s attention. Jeff loved having Y/n on set for this reason. They never fed into any of it though. They were co workers.

Filming for the movie was similar to the show except in Y/n’s opinion cooler. They had to make sure everything was perfect. Sound, angle, weather. If there was anything slightly wrong it made the shot look half assed.

Ryan, Bam, and Johnny had to beg them to go to West Chester to film. Y/n looked at them like they were crazy, but Jeff made the call and they all flew out to film. Just to film.

On the way there Jeff and Rick wouldn’t shut up about this guy. They wanted to have him in the movie so bad and were so happy that he agreed. Apparently he was hilarious and always did stupid shit. Y/n recognized his name from Jackass the show but never really paid attention to anything other than work.

After going to a hotel and unpacking they all got together to film. Y/n brought a few cameras and other equipment just incase they’d need more. Rick brought his belongings too so they were definitely prepared.

When Y/n looked around where they were going to set up, they were confused. It was a small open area with a big tree. No one had given them a heads up on what the stunt was so it was definitely a shock to see little to nothing to work with.

Bam immediately started laughing loudly and being even more dramatic than usual when Y/n came around. Ryan rolled his eyes and shook his head at his idiotic friend.

“So what am I gonna be filming exactly?” They asked Bam and Ryan, which Bam happily cut off Ryan to explain.

Once they got the gist of it, Y/n nodded and asked who was gonna be doing the Bungie Wedgie. Bam immediately grabbed Raab Himself and put his arm around him, “Raab is!”

Y/n didn’t realize how attractive this guy was. They were surrounded by the Jackass crew and never once thought any of them were even remotely attractive, but for some reason Raab was. They’ve met before. A few times actually. It was just now that they realized their attraction for him.

“Oh, I didnt realize you were the guy they were talking about” Instantly regretting their words.

Raab just laughed, “Yep thats me. Now if you’ll excuse me i have to go get a wedgie or two” He said it in this weird voice and his words slightly slurred.

They set him up on-top of the tree with the underwear on, connecting the cords to it.

“I’m Raab Himself and I’m a fuckin idiot”

He instantly hit the ground. Bam Ryan and Johnny all laughed but Y/n was worried that he was actually hurt. It was unlike them to not laugh at these idiots getting hurt.

Raab stood up the underwear ripped apart, causing his whole ass to be out. Y/n looked away instantly not wanting to see him in such an indecent state.

They set him up again and he jumped again. This time he didn’t fall. He hung upside down laughing. Raab slipped out of the underwear and covered himself before changing back into his clothes.

Johnny immediately ran over to the underwear to laugh at the shitty bloody underwear hanging. Y/n’s nose crinkled and they slightly cringed. Of course this was the guy they’d be attracted to.

After that they were going ti be filming anything until tomorrow or maybe even later tonight if any of the guys were drunk and stupid enough to do something, which was likely.

Y/n was invited to the bar by Bam. Normally in LA, they’d go with their friends outside of work but since it was along way from home Y/n shrugged and agreed.

At the hotel, they quickly changed, putting on something nicer and more bar appropriate. It didn’t take long before Jeff was knocking on their door to hurry up if they were gonna go.

“Well at least you look nice” He said once they opened the door. Y/n rolled their eyes playfully and they both went to the bar.

For a Wednesday night it was pretty crowded. It must be because of the attention Bam was drawing on himself. He was standing on one of the tables with his skateboard in his hand. There was a bet that he couldn’t jump from the table and onto the counter on his board. From the looks of it, it seemed possible and compared to the shit Bam’s done it was nothing.

“Y/n, what are you betting?” Ryan came up and led them to where everyone was sitting.

“Bam can do that. Easy”

“100 bucks says he cant!” Raab chimed in holding his hand out to confirm the bet.

“You’re on” They shook hands and watched Bam.

They watched as Bam was trying to figure out the best way to attempt it. It was clear he was playing out different scenarios in his head. He clearly had something to prove. Without thinking anymore he jumped off the table and ran to the other side of the bar. He got on his board and rode as fast as he needed to before jumping onto the table and onto the bar.

“HE CHEATED!”

“No he didn’t! The bet was that he couldn’t make it from the table to the counter. No one said he couldn’t skate it” Y/n had never defended Bam like this in their entire life but one hundred bucks was on the line and Y/n didn’t want to lose. Raab rolled his eyes and slide a hundred across the table.

“Awe c’mon it was just a friendly wager” They smiled at him and he couldn’t help but smile back.

“Lets bet on something else then” Intrigued they nodded for him to continue, “I bet you cant get someone to buy you a drink and kiss you before I do”

“Too easy”

“Then do it” He sure knew how to push their buttons because now Y/n felt like they had something to prove to Raab, of all people.

So with that they went over to the pool table and started hitting some balls around, purposely playing bad. In no time a guy was coming up to Y/n and watching them. 

“It’s actually easier if you do it this way” He said and came up from behind them showing them how to shoot better. “Oh wow it is!” The fake enthusiasm made him smile confidently. 

“What are you drinking?” He asked and Y/n gave him a smile, “A Martini” They picked up their glass and waved it a little bit to show him. The guy nodded his head and walked away to the bar. 

As Y/n waited, they continued to play pool. After a while it was odd that the stranger hadn’t came back. They looked around the bar and noticed him talking to someone else. When their eyes met Raab’s he was laughing. He of course knew he was going to lose and did all he could to avoid that. 

Defeated, Y/n sat back down at the table with Dico and Raab. “Don’t look too upset you coulda easily won” He slid a beer to the other side of the table where Y/n sat, “At least you got a drink” 

“Yeah, that’s better than a kiss anyway.” They joked

Raab laughed, “Not if you’re kissing me.”

“Are you trying to make another bet?”

[ahungeringknife]

365: April 2

Bro I have... SO Many fucking opinions about Season of Defiance and what dog water it is :)

Bungie really said 'hey lets take a beloved character and make her the biggest bitch in the world!'. Amanda really did say this in game, while I was using Strand at the time. Girl what are you even ON!?

For the record I don't hate Amanda. I think she's a nothing character but she was fine. Then Bungie just dragged her through the mud for what? For that shit ass death scene? Gtfo

----

Wolf landed a shot through a Taken vandal as over comms the 'Queensguard' bantered as they followed in her fireteam's wake. She wasn't really paying attention. She just knew she needed to kill these Taken to push forward into the enemy territory and destabilize the Taken around. So she was taken completely off guard when Amanda said; "I just don't trust anyone who uses the Darkness. No offense, Queen Mara-

"Mara?" Shin asked and he wasn't the only one who came to a dead stop. Wolf and Fox had stopped their push forward and just kinda looked at each other. Did they really hear that? "Why the fuck are you apologizing to Mara?"

"Because she uses the Light and Dark?"

"So you don't trust the Young Wolf, or Fox?" Shin asked her sharply.

"What? That isn't what I meant-

"Then what did you fucking mean?" Wolf knew he was being extra aggressive because of how she'd been talking to Crow. "Every person in this fucking fireteam uses a Darkness power so what exactly do you mean, Holliday?" he demanded when Amanda didn't answer right away.

"I meant it as like... non Guardians," Amanda said and even to Wolf's ears it sounded weak.

"Cute. Stay the fuck off comms. I don't want to hear your shitty Lightless chatter in my fucking head," he ground out and started moving again. "Fucking sorry Mara. Kill me," he grumbled over comms.

"Little aggressive much?" Fox asked.

"He's in a mood," Wolf said and followed after Shin.

"I see that."

"Just fucking hate Lightless getting into my shit," Shin grumbled.

"Amanda's been a bit rough with his rookie," Wolf said.

"Didn't know Shin was the protective mentor type," Fox teased.

"I'm full of surprises," Shin said but was growly about it. "Also fuck this I'm sick of crawling all over shit," and Wolf giggled when he just went over to the edge of a platform and constructed a walkway out of the Ascendant Realm. It meandered a bit but cut through the Ascendant Realm much more directly than what they'd been doing.

"You still have to teach us that trick," Fox said.

"If I do I'd have to Eat ya' and foxes and wolves are stringy eating," he said and they both laughed. "Let's get this shit over with," and Wolf gladly followed him to avoid the rest of the enemies on the way to the portal.

[ruthlesslistener]

honestly cayde was interesting but... really one dimensional. like, people joke about zavala being a cardboard cutout, but really, cayde is just the archetypal dnd rogue. zavala has at least gotten some development since everything

tbh i had no problem with cayde being the comic relief character, even if it was comic relief that i personally found to be a little irritating in an otherwise-serious shooter game. that's just how media in the early 2010s was. what ended up making me hate cayde-6 with a passion are his annoying-ass crybaby fans who seem to believe his death was because bungie cut funds on the voice actor and begs for him to be brought back every fucking season even though it is extremely clear at this point that he's dead for good, and that said death has really tasty consequences that bring us to new conflicts and fun characters to explore. like the nonstop childish whining and obsession about this one character to the point of ignoring all the others is the most obnoxious thing about dealing with the destiny fandom today

also, the tone of destiny has shifted quite a bit since his death, which means that its probably for the better that he was killed off. not only did said death have a lot of narrative consequences that are still being dealt with in the story today, but his tone and humour just wouldn't have fit with the plotlines going on rn. if he was around during season of the splicer you'd KNOW there'd be jokes in there that would grate on nerves, even if cayde himself wasn't trying to be offensive. he just wouldn't fit in the story as it was today, which is exactly why characters get killed off in media to begin with. cayde isn't special.

[kovacs-on-ice]

Why Halo: Reach (campaign) is a trainwreck.

A lovable trainwreck, don't get me wrong, but a trainwreck nonetheless.

So Halo Reach is one of those games that leaves a community divisive, it was the first halo game to not have a universally loved reception among the community at large. I think it's a fun game, a really fun game, I adore it's multiplayer and the hours my friends I spent dicking around in forge world. It also has the best armor system Halo's ever had to date, infinite can suck my ass--I'm not paying 15 dollars for a shader. You ain't D2, you can't pump and dump my wallet.

ANYWAY

Reach is such an interesting case, out of universe, as it feels like such an out of character move by bungie. Let's consider for a moment, that the same company that tried to stop the release of fall of reach WEEKS before it's release, was notoriously uncooperative with ensemble studios(people who made Halo Wars), who had a game director undercut the books of the series he was making(And it was Staten, if you could believe it. It's on an old 2000s podcast.) decided--"YES, LETS GO DEEP INTO THE LORE, OUR FAVORITE PART OF THIS FRANCHISE. WHILE WE'RE AT IT, LETS USE THE SPARTAN-IIIs" ?????? Does this not feel weird to anyone else?

If you look at vidocs for reach, and other behind the scenes content, it's said that they wanted to do their own thing, and ignore the books. which if that's what they want to do, sure, fuck it.

Then why did they include First Strike references (radio logs you can hear on certain levels/maps) or HAVE NOBLE TEAM BE ALL IIIS

This is the thing that gets me the most. Halo Reach, legit, feels like Bungie's last middle finger to microsoft at certain points. Reach is the home of the Spartans, well the IIs really. It's what gives the planet, and it's destruction, such significance to characters like Chief, or Fred, or any II. That was their home, that's the closest they have to a childhood burning at the stake.

So why, do tell, DID YOU MAKE NOBLE TEAM IIIs

THEY HAVE ZERO CONNECTION TO REACH

THEY GREW UP ON ONYX

What also confuses me here, is that it's not like they gave a shit about how many IIs were in Red Flag. THEY MADE THE GAMES, THATS THEIR LORE. THEY COULDVE JUST MADE UP IIs. The reason that First Strike can be such a gut punch at certain points, is because the IIs are watching their homes burning all around them, and they can do n o t h i n g about it. It's tragic, and it makes their survival in the remnants of the glassed planet even more perilous.

I love First Strike, if you couldn't tell. If Ghosts of Onyx didn't exist, it'd be the best halo book. I'm not gonna defend this opinion because it's right.

And Bungie wrote entire CVs and A FUCKING MESSAGE BETWEEN KURT AND MENDEZ in the leadup to Reach. They did all this legwork for the pay off of having characters unrelated to the conflict they were fighting.

also, I know Jorge is a II, I WILL GET TO JORGE.

Reach was planned, in development, as this giant military campaign first . Check the vidocs/behind the scenes videos, I think Marty O'Donnell is the one who says it. (also marty was the dude who had miranda and johnson die in 3, he edited that in, check the making of Halo 3. Who kept letting the audio director fuck with the script?)

There is a big, big problem with making the battle of Reach a military campaign, however.

In FOR, the kicker about the battle of reach is that it wasn't even a battle. The Covenant overwhelmed the UNSC's fleet and flooded the planet groundside, the battle was incredibly shortlived. I think only a day. Chief went from having near 30 of his siblings living and in the field, to being the only spartan in active combat.

First Strike keeps this narrative too. The Spartans never get to fight their valiant last stand. The loss of the fleet makes the different splinters of Red Team retreat to their various fallback points. Fred, Kelly and Joshua kill an invading army of covenant, sure, but the rest of the Spartans prevent were handling a variety of what-the-fucks

I do think that a theme that carries from book to game is fighting in the face of hopeless odds, which I like.

In the game, Reach is invaded by a smaller covenant fleet and ONI just....never tells the rest of the planet? It's the long night of solace, a big cloaked super carrier, and a few destroyers. (Unironically, the lore for this is that the Shipmaster of Solace came to reach on the search for forerunner artifacts, realized he was in way over his head, and just tried to get his fleet to 1-man all of reach before the prophets got too mad.

which is funny, in retrospect, because right after he eats shit--Thel shows up in the big boy fleet. I wonder how that conversation went down with the surviving officers.)

In FoR, they bring the IIs back to Reach to prep for Red-Flag and to get them the Mark V upgrade. Same thing with the pillar of autumn.

This happens by August 27th. Chief was already on the planet beforehand for a few days to debrief highcom about Sigma Octanus IV, that's beside the point. It's to be assumed that there were a sizable amount of IIs on Reach in the weeks before, since they were being pulled from a variety of fronts, and slipspace travel means everyone would've gotten there at different times. Chief was also leading a force of 12 Spartans at Sigma Octanus IV, the battle right before reach, so I assume they came with him.

August 30th---OOPS, ALL COVENANT

The battle starts as FoR-First Strike say it does on the 30th, AND THAT SAME FUCKING DAY THE PLANET IS LOST.

---------

In Reach, the game, the covenant were found on reach JULY 24TH. THAT IS WHEN THEY PRESS THE "OH FUCK, WINTER CONTIGENCY" BUTTON. If you go by the game, it seems like there's just all out warfare across the planet after that point. The mission after is Noble Team defending Castle Base from a Covenant Corvette (also, like, it's goofy as fuck to think that no one outside the select military participating in these engagements did not, or hear about, the giant space marine animal firing death from above. I doubt the covenant gave a shit about which humans they turned to ash knew about them, after their presence was found out.)

So most of Reach's Campaign happens, including the huge fucking battle at Szurdok Ridge. You know the battle that had scarabs and scorpion tanks casually duking it out in the background, same battle that they used a MAC round in atmosphere in?

By August 13th, 60 percent of the UNSC fleet is recalled to defend reach. Not too long after that, Noble Team kills the super carrier. Then what I assume is Thel's fleet shows up as in the cutscene it shows a massive fleet entering the system immediately after the solace's destruction. After that is the battle of new alexandria, which ends august 23rd.

The game and the book link up on August 30th, as Noble team delivers the other half of cortana. (Halsey split her into two so she could continue her forerunner research, also, halsey never talks about meeting Noble Team in First Strike. Jun literally escorted her to Castle Base. In her journals that came with Reach's deluxe edition, I think there is a few pages of her freaking the fuck out about them. Not-so-concidentally Eric Nylund also wrote that Journal.)

343 tried to link the game and book stories together, and the result was--

Oni predicted there was a 67% of reach being found, just let it happen, no I am not joking.

The battle of reach up until where FoR picks up is just on one side of the planet, somehow they contain it so the planet doesn't freak out. I do not know how, the covenant were fucking EVERYWHERE.

ONI also let the long night of solace pally about, they were mad when Noble Team blew it to high hell because they wanted to use it for Red Flag.

THEY BROUGHT ALL THE IIs BACK TO REACH, MID INVASION, AND JUST DIDN'T TELL THEM UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE???? ALSO, IF THE PLANET WAS BEING INVADED BY THE COVENANT, WHY DID YOU NOT USE ONE OF THE MANY ORBITAL MAC CANNONS.

This is a GOOFY retcon, I swear to god.

It takes them like, an entire fucking month, to get the fleet to Reach. I'd also like to mention, KEYES LEAVES THE BATTLE AND LANDS ON REACH SO HE CAN PICK UP CORTANA FOR THE LAST MISSION. CHIEF WAS LITERALLY NAPPING DURING THIS. I'M SURE HE WOULD'VE LOVED TO HELP NOBLE SIX AND EMILE OUT IF THEY WOKE HIM THE FUCK UP.

@zitasaurusrex

I apologize if this was hard to read, and tbh I probably also missed stuff li-WAIT I FORGOT

IN HALO REACH THEY HAVE A SEVEN PART RADIO MESSAGE STORY ABOUT BETA RED, SPLIT ACROSS FIREFIGHT AND MULTIPLAYER MAPS. THE SPARTANS WHO WERE LEFT TO DEFEND THE GENERATORS. THEY'RE CHATTING ABOUT THEM AS THEY'RE PUNCHING UP TO THESE TANK SQUADRONS BAREHANDED. BUNGIE, BUNGIE, THIS IS ALREADY A MESS, WHY ARE YOU INCLUDING THIS. Edit: I realize I never got to Jorge. I think it's stupid to have Jorge be in noble team because it SHOWS they thought about the concept of what reach being invaded would mean to a II. They just didn't care enough to expand on it in any substantial way.

[the25thviolence]

I Don’t Know Why I Wrote This

“Why?” said the Groom sweating profusely. 

“Because” said the Best Man. 

“How is that even a little bit of reason.” demanded the Groom.

“I feel like the action alone should be reason enough, don’t you?” replied the Best Man trying to calm down the anxiety filled Groom.

“I never asked to do this.” cried out the Groom.

“Yeah yeah, the rain never asks to fall but it must.”  calmly stated the Best Man

“Please stop speaking in drama club.” said the Groom with his knees shaking.

“Just fucking jump.  Cooooommee onnnnn you won’t regret it.” said the Best Man while trying to shove the Groom off the side of a bridge. 

“When I said I wanted to do something extreme I thought we would rent like racecars or something.” said the Groom with an ever more worried look on his face.

“This is way faster.” said an excited Best Man

“....I would settle for the traditional strip club at this point.” said the Groom while shutting his eyes in repent. 

“Hey, you only get married once but you live forever so no regrets.”  confidently said the Best Man.

“Almost none of what you said makes sense.” replied the Groom more confidently.

“Almost this almost that why don’t you almost yourself off this bridge and ENJOY LIFE.” said the Best Man trying to push the Groom off the bridge.

“Give me a second.....” said the Groom trying to calm the beating of his heart.

“Its been 10 minutes.  There about to double charge me because your taking so long.” said the Best Man eyeing the Bungie Rental Man that has just been watching with amusement. 

“GIVE ME A SECOND.” yelled the Groom.

“Tick.” drying spoke the Best Man

“Don’t you say it.” said the Groom with ill intent. 

“Tock motherfucker.” said the Best Man with murderous intent.

“Fuck yo---”  replied the Groom in annoyance before being cut off by a sudden kick in the ass. 

KICK

“----AHHHH I HATE YOU!!!!” screamed the Groom as he fell. 

“Love you too buddy!” waved the Best Man.

“You know, I wasn’t really going to double charge you I was just joking.” said the Bungie Rental Man. 

“Oh I know, just taking a little bit of an artistic lease on the situation.” replied the Best Man. 

“Oh.” simply relied the Bungie Rental Man as he watched the Groom dangle around below them. 

[twothirdsgenius]

@the guy who issued the fake Bungie copyright takedowns: the call is LITERALLY coming from inside the house!!! girl!!!

Also please enjoy the way the official lawsuit filing by Bungie Inc. describes how the Google/YouTube copyright+monetization shit works because they’re not wrong 😭

[mazuwii]

Dates The Aot Characters Would Take You on

Characters: Levi, Eren, Bertholdt, Reiner, Jean, Armin, Erwin, Zeke, Hange, Porco, Pieck, Miche, Mikasa

Levi: He enjoys going to small tea shops or coffee places While it is aesthetic he mostly likes it because it's secluded and silent, you know, he doesn't have to worry about loud ass Emily and her girls comin' in for their unicorn shit drinks. Though one time you set up a spa date and he showed genuine discomfort. Just the thought of someone else touching him and trying to relax him put him off. But you being the magical S/O, you'd somehow get him to agree💀. Though, he ends up being bossy about who touches him and when to leave him alone.

Eren:

Having a knack for thrill and fear, Eren is addicted to anything violent and will make your makeup go bye-bye. So I suggest paintballing- which is his favourite fucking place, it's his comfort area. Anytime he's sad, he'll get his friends to go with him and will come back with pains around his body. That doesn't stop him from going again though. On a less aggressive note, he loves haunted houses in which you escape actors who pretend to be killers/ghosts. He has most likely pulled tricks against the rules and frustrates workers beyond imagination.

Bertholdt: You must have predicted this but he loves parks, flower gardens to be specific. I'm talking about places like Regent park in England, it's a whole map of paradise. You pass through bridges built upon ponds and have fun feeding ducks, there's a small coffee shop with benches outside everytime you want a break. He also finds a lot of joy in explaining the type of flowers and what they need to grow, their meaning and origins. At home, he probably has his own plants and talks to them. Also, you guys witnessed a pigeon stealing a crisp packet from the mini shop nearby. I just felt the need to mention that.

Reiner: Being less of a thrill junkie than Eren is, Reiner prefers something like an amusement park. Or maybe even something as simple as going to the mall. He finds it fun to listen to you screaming and clench onto his hand during sudden dips on roller coasters, it always gives him a sense of pride for some reason. Though, if he wanted to take a more gentle date with someone he'd go for something extremely simple like stargazing on the roof of his car. (Idk he still has the gremlin urge to take you fucking bungy jumping but he doesn't want to scare you that bad

Jean: Old fashioned picnic dates that you guys make yourselves will never get old to him. The smell of grass even when it's freshly after a rainstorm, the ladybugs you always gasp and show off anytime they land on you- he can't get enough of the simple nature of picnics The best part is cooking with him because he can start the best conversations and has a good sense of humour, especially when cooking, he seems more focused on making you laugh than he does cutting up hard vegetables.

Armin: Cinema dates, which I want to say, what a nerd but I can't talk, I quite enjoy the theatres myself. Armin despises trailers before the movie starts, he accidentily goes on a rampage about it and only realises when you're cocking a brow at him. He sheepishly laughs and suggests you two do something while trailers are still playing. The cinema is in the mall so you two go around trying foods, maybe even going to a small bookstore to discuss some nerdy franchise. During the actual film, he holds your hand when it gets emotional, you can even hear him whimper💀💀

Erwin: He doesn't have much time with you so he tries his hardest to make sure you have fun too during your relationship with him. I like to think he's just a classic man, but I hate the expensive restaurant trope so bad that I'd make a new suggestion that Erwin takes you on vacations more than actual dates. Like, Hong Kong, Tokyo, fricking Venice- Sometimes the gang will come along, Levi, Hange, Miche and Nanaba- but they only make the trip funnier. Though for a simple date, I'd say you both go to a cooking class (It's more fun than it sounds)

Zeke: He likes going stargazing or just going on small picnic dates that end in you both laying down on the mat and pointing at clouds with each other. Usually, Zeke is explaining some worldly theory to you while you're on your back, eyes lighting up at the sight of the clear blue sky, scanning every puffy white cloud that floats by. You even came up with your own theory about how when people die, their souls float like a cloud in the shape of their favourite thing. "So when you die, would I see my boobs in the air?" He'd bluntly respond.

Porco: What a show-off. Porco loves taking you on a ride on his motorbike, thinking he's hot shit every time he leans on it while waiting for you. He's always wearing leather attire for it and it's something straight out of 'bad boy' Wattpad LMAO. Speaking of being a show-off, he loves going to arcades with you and just winning against every single game that you try with each other. He does give you the prizes he wins though, just to see you smile. -

Hange:

I would say Museums but she'd find it boring. Instead, I propose to keep her interested by going on a 20-hour road trip. All of that seems fun to her. You don't really have a destination, wherever you end up, you end up and that's the thrill of it. It's just an adventure for you both. Also, you take turns in sleeping and who drives next and Hange always manages to be the person who drives more hours and sleeps less, she's just more excited. Though, you can't count the number of times you told her to not stick her whole body out of the window💀💀💀

Pieck: She seems like a cat cafe kinda person, or staying in and trying to cook something difficult together and although it can get messy it's very fun and the both of you videotape it for memories later on in your life. Which, is just a habit in your relationship with her. Filming everything and everywhere you go, even filming the part where you buy ingredients at the store, the mic being taken up by your giggles and Pieck's small but funny remarks.

Mikasa: Skating, she loves helping you back because the first time you two went you could not skate at all, always falling on your bum. You eventually get the hang of it and got to do some moves with her.

Mike: Hiking dates and camping is his favourite thing- though maybe a bit scary for you. Believe me, it isn't so bad when Mike is with you, that man knows so much about the wilderness it kinda shocks you Also, you bring a lighter only to realise he can make a campfire by himself, it's like he's secretly a bear. This needs to be said but, he makes sleeping in a tent in the middle of the woods feel safe, somehow.

[thefirstknife]

Y'know, one reason I see people hating on Shaw for is how he's acting all know-it-all to the veteran Young Wolf when you do the new light quest and I'm always like, it's a new light quest, it's not really meant for D1 Vets at all?

Like, people always get way hostile whenever someone don't suck up the Guardian (like Saladin catching flack for promising to whoop yo ass if you step out of line with Stasis) but like, in the context of the New Light quest he isn't even dealing with the "Young Wolf" so much as some rando Guardian that literally just woke up

I just find it stupid

Yeah, it's really strange. The quest is for new players to introduce them into the game. The only reason existing players (veterans) can even play through it is because people would've been bitching about Bungie locking content. So we can pick up the quest from the quest kiosk. Ofc, you can also do it if you make a new character which makes sense.

If you do the quest on your D1 alpha character, I don't know what you expected. A fully separate beginner quest where Shaw treats you like he knows who you are? That wasn't the point of making the New Light quest so obviously Bungie didn't make two versions.

It's annoying if your character gets stuck with new light dialogue, but that's not a problem with Shaw as a character or his writing. I'm pretty sure that was also fixed?

Anyway, sometimes things aren't about veteran players and it would be nice if some people in our community didn't take that as a personal slight. We should be happy if new people come to the game and have something that's about them.

I personally remember loading into D2 vanilla and the game treating me like I'm the YW who's been playing since D1 and never explaining anything. It sucks. It's not good for storytelling and for drawing new people into the game. I also remember several of my friends who started with Shadowkeep when the beginner quest was a weird mish-mash of vanilla and some attempts to make it beginner friendly and it was extremely confusing, both story wise and mechanic wise.

New Light quest can still be improved, but what we have now is already a gigantic improvement over what existed before. And Shaw really isn't at fault for any issues with the quest.