#getting 'fluids' on your clothes then having the other person wear them? thats not it btw but it was funny

[cyeayt]

Enough about kolob, enough about cain/Bigfoot, enough about secret languages and creepy occult shit that sure, might be believed in flds cults down in the south of the state but that aren’t that relevant to wider church culture. The only similar thing that should be talked about is polygamy, and not in a "oh those crazy mormons i bet they all still do it hardehar har" but in a way that reminds everyone that the founders of this religion were horrible men and the whole thing has been sexist from the very beginning,

lets talk about soaking, about repression, about feeling trapped and making what seems like the biggest decision of your life at eight years old, even when you all know its not really your choice. lets talk about how impossible it is to be rude, when rudeness is considered saying no to anyone or not talking to people who make you uncomfortable. lets talk about the racist and colonialist foundations of the church, how no one will say it but technically yes our children are taught that native americans are the descendants of the evil race who killed all of our heroes. lets talk about missions as a tool of colonization and power and how they're not only a way to beat down the young people who go on them to solidify the idea that the world hates them and only the church is safe, but also to assimilate and collect money from people all over the world. lets talk about all the shit that makes this religion a horrible oppressive environment to grow up in, the way that afab people are taught from like three years old that one day they will grow up to be mothers, and everything else that i cant type all of because its really just a whole horrible culture of fear and shame packed into beige carpeted walls and squeaky gym floors.

tldr, the stuff that makes Mormonism bad isnt that different than any other religion, its mostly sexism racism homophobia and transphobia, and of course the terror of polite manners and the implications thereof.

this post is actually supposed to be funny because me and my cousin couldn't stop cracking up about soaking, like, a couple on a dating app looking for a third but its not for a threesome its for soaking, cmon its hysterical. anyway,,,,

[lifmera]

HIHIHI, I was wondering if you could match me up with a Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, and a Sally face character? IF THAT'S TOO MANY YOU CAN JUST DO ONE OR THE OTHER

OOKAY so, basic info, yappa yappa, I'm not good at thiisiss

My name is Sophie, I am Hispanic though I know NOTHING about Spanish UHUSHSU🤺🤺 I and gender fluid (They/She/He), I'm a January Aquarius (if that matters), and a INTP/INFP

Personality wise : I guess I'm an ambivert? MOST OF THE TIIMMMEE I'll mirror one's personality, but in general, it depends how close I am with said person 💪😼 Once you get to REALLY know me, I have little to no filter (in the right situations), I can be really sarcastic, really sexual (in a joking manner/as long as the other party is okay with it), affectionately insult, and I curse like a witch being trialed. I get irritated easily though, but I (try) to keep that to myself, being a people pleaser. Oh, I tell a joke? It's a dad joke. My love languages are gift giving, and depending on the person, a bit of physical touch (Side hugs, hand holding, ECT.)

FOR MY STYLEE... I REALLY think it's a huge mix of dark clothes: Goth, Adam Sandler, skateboard, Grunge, ECT., though I'm REALLY open minded!

I saw some people talk about their physical appearance.. SO LETS DO IITT : Brown, wavey hair that goes all the way to my lower back (I WANNA CUT IT AHHH), bangs that I absolutely DO NOT know how to style, somewhere between tan-white skin, roundish-almond, brown eyes, upper lip beauty mark, rectangular body shape with MEAT IN THE THIGHS RAHH 🥓🍖 My nose is straighter than I am, y'all

I LOOVVE Wine, literally heaven on earth. I also love drawing, animating, singing, writing, doing random voice overs, doing voice impressions, music (Mostly metal, rock, Goth, alt/indie, electronic), anything horror, insects, space, reptiles, basically any animal, anatomy, origami, and some other stuff I forgot about.

Some extra stuff about mee, I am usually very closed off and try to be polite until I have a deep friendship with a person, I am THE total fucking opposite. I love the internet, it literally raised me, therefore, I will cherish it (most of the time at least). I am literally a perfectionist, like AHHHH. I am very naive, like help me, I've caused so many problems with my naiveness 😭😭🤺

I LOVE daydreaming, why be in the real world when you can star off into space and pretend you're in another? Despite being the youngest in my family, I am surprisingly the one who acts like an older sister. I LOVE BABIES!!! Like, my step-aunt had a baby ALSO named Sofie, and I got to hold her AHSHAHHZH. I can be a bit hypersexual (FUCK YOU TRAUMA), But I know how to control it because I'm just like that 💪😼👹

———

I'm SOO sorry if this is too lengthy

I hope you're having a wonderful day/night! Thank you in advance if you DO match me with a character

HI LOVE!!!!! OFC!!2!1!1!

IVE DECIDED TO PAIR YOU WITH!!!!!!!!! …… HUSK, LARRY JOHNSON &….. BLITZØ!!!

~~~~~~~~

Although you don’t realize it at first, it’s really easy to get along with husk. Even if you aren’t drinking!!

I think your personality drew this kitty in!! Although he doesn’t mind the sexual jokes, he would prefer to keep them to a minimum. He loved when you are sarcastic with him- or make jokes. Thats his humor as well, and loves to indulge in someone who has similar humor!!

Although you get irritated quickly- he can tell immediately. HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. He will being you somewhere quiet/alone and away from people and talk to you about it.

He would try to help you NOT be a people pleaser, def the guy to stick up for you and tell that person to do it themselves.

Although his love language seems to be quality time- he doesn’t mind any!! He’ll feel bad to take gifts from you tho :(

He’d enjoy watching your outfits!! One day he’ll ask you to be goth- another adam!! He thinks anything you wear is cute on you.

If you love wine, he’ll MAKE sure he always has it in stock for you- let alone let anyone else order it. Probably hides it too.

He’d love to hear about your interests, or new animations, or even hearing you sing!!

Even if you’re naive!! He will be your bodyguard. Literally might be so annoying but he’s up your ass.

Even if you think you have imperfections- to him you don’t. And he will make sure you know that!!

L-L-L-LARRRY!!!

Come on. I think you and Larry would bond over your culture!! He also does NOT know any Spanish. LOSER ALERT. (Hc: he probably only understands it but fucks up pronunciation)

Your personality suits him sm. Cursing like a sailor? Him too. If you mirror his personality? Loves you. If you get close to him? Love you more. If you are sexual? He’ll play back don’t worry!!

Style, style, style. HE LOVES IT SO MUCH OH MY GOD. Everyday he looks forward to what you’re gonna wear, and probably goes all googly eyes. Cause he’s a loser like that!!!

He’ll definitely be a gift giver too, he’ll share his drugs (if you are into that. If not thats cool too!!) He’ll paint you all the time!!

Would drink with you 24/7. He probably wouldn’t drink wine though. He’d say it’s too “elegant”.

He loves your hair sm. You both have similar hair AHHH!!! he probably braided ur hair and his together once, or it got stuck head banging!!

Begs you to sing sanity falls while he paints. He absolutely LIVES to hear you sing.

Indulges in anything you like- will try it out ONCE. If he likes it, he’ll join you for more! Or just to spend time with you :)

Would probably love the internet too if he was raised off it.

Also sooooo naive. Two peas in a pod.

He would daydream with you. (As in he gets high and pretends he’s in lala land.)

LAST BUT NOT LEAST…. BLITZIE!!

Literally definition of “have to be close to get each others personalities”

Understands that it’ll take time for you to show your true personality- but him too.

He will also make sarcastic remarks to you, and engage in playful banter!!! If you make a sexual joke- don’t think he wont flirt with you. He will.

More of a physical touch guy!! He wants to make sure you aren’t leaving him. He’s scared to keep losing people.

Not a wine drinker- but probably an alcoholic under the covers. Or maybe he drinks a shit ton when he’s stressed and regrets it.

LOVES your thighs. Would eat them!

At first he thought you were insane, but slowly started to love your style- and he now sometimes dresses in it. Even while sneaking to the human realm!

Definitely not an art driven guy. He’s bland but he gotta work! And on that note, has BEGGED you to join !!! And if you did- he’d get your art and use that to lure victims. Play guitar? Slash them behind a tree. Sing? They die backstage. Photography/Drawings/Animations? Once they leave into an alley they are done for!!

Will probably want to start a family with you- or hope you can at least get through to loona. He cherishes her soooo much!!

~~~

HI HUN. I MADE SURE I GOT TO YOURS CUS YOU WERE ALL THE WAY AT THE BEGINNING!!!! I HOPE THIS WAS OKAY :3

[gatiox3]

kung Fu panda. 4

u guys thought I forgor about my ramble? UR WRONG

so um WTFOK SO KUNG FU PANDA i freaking love kung fu panda HE IS MY FREAKING LIFE if he never existed my sister wouldnt be a furry (will not elaborate she is blocked here FOR A REASON sorry nox) I HAD HIGH HOPES !!! (FIRST MISTAKE.) the music, was breathtaking, felt like i was watching kung fu panda for the first time again (not really but u get wat im saying) the animation was FLUID! there were some stiff parts, but I hardly noticed them, theres only one part where some movement didnt make sense?? like for example po was flung to the left but was then was stopped mid air, and awkwardly moved right to the ground?? i was the only one that noticed it i think thats a me thing FUCK HALF OF MY RAMBLE GOT DELETED ANYWAYS. OK SCREW WHAT EVER I WAS GONNA SAY UMMM THE ART. THE COLORING. THE CONTRASTING COLORS. THE TRADITIONAL CHINESE ART (duh) I WAS JUST AMAZED BY IT ALL IM A FREAKING ART NERD loved it so much AND THE CHARACTER DESIGN for the villain BEAUTIFUL. other character okayish.... picked most obvious animal and made her wear clothes...! im a picky person. OK WHATEVER BUT WHEN THE MOVIE FINISHED, it felt so short?? maybe cause IT WAS SO FAST PACD??? WHY DID THEY DO THAT. the beginnning started out good ! there was that initial action, somewhat revealing the villain their motives, and then showing where po is and what his dilemma is !!! BUT JUMP CUTS EVERYWHERE. IM BEING SO SERIOUS WHEN I SAY THERES PROBABLY ONLY ONE FADE IN SCENE (done perfectly if i may say) BUT WHAT. AND SOME OF THE SCENES FELT A LOT MORE SHORTER than others. almost like they added the scene last minute because they needed it?? or sm like it cuts from one scene, characters bond for 2.2 seconds, JUMP CUT! WHAT! OK SO NOW IMA GET INTO THE STORY, I WONT GIVE MANY LIKE MANY SPECIFICS< BUT ITS UNDER THIS CUT

ok so i noticed this in kfp3, but they donot take the movie that seriously anymore! in the og kfp obv there were some funny scenes, and they fit PERFECTLY. there were serious scenes, heartwrenching ones, and they worked so good. BUT IN THIS ONE. THEY HAD TO MAKE EVERYTHING A GAG. IT PISSED ME OFF???? I COULDNT LIKE FEEL FOR THE CHARACTERS??? EVEN THE VILLAIN CANT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. gags EVERYWHERE. not even to the build up when then villain finally acts on their master plan! not even when PO GETS A VISION. NOT EVEN THE FREAKING. THE HOLY SHIT THE ENDING PISSED ME OFF SO FUCKING ABD YOU HAVE NO FUKCING IDEA. WHEN THE VILLAIN GETS SENT TO THE SPIRIT REALm, GAG. OH MY FUCK. NOT EVEN LIKE WHEN MASTER SHIFU IS MEDITATING AT THE END. GGAG IM GOING TO GAG ON YOU. EVEN WHEN THERE WAS A SERIOUS SCENE BETWEEN TWO CHARACTERS, OR LIKE A STORY ON THEM, i coulnt take it seriously because the story wont take itself seriously! ok ummm where am i OH DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON THAT FOX GIRL WITH PO I HATE HER SO MUCH THAT I DONT EVEN KKNOW HER NAME. this might be more spoilery so BUT SHES BASICALLY JUST SOME SELF INSTERT Y/N WHOS A BRAT?? AND IS EVENLY MATCHED FOR PO AND IT FELT LIKE I JUST WATCHED A WATTPAD GET TURNED INTO A MOBVIE. I SERIOUSLY THINK ITS JUST A ME THING BUT IDK. YOU PROBABLY DONTK KNOW JWAT IM TALKING ABT BUT YEAH. i wish the whoel thing was just a lot more like! kfp u know! i might just be blinded by nostalgia ! im not even gonna lie my fave part was seeing TAI LUNG I FUKCING LOIBVE TAI LUNG HI TAI LUJNG IMM YOUR BIGGEEST FAN DID THEY GET THE OG VOICE ACTORY??? IDK BUT I LOVE U HE WAS THE MOST SERIOUS CHARACTTER IN THE WHOLE MOVIE AND IT JUST SOLIDIFIED MY LOVE HAI TAI LUNG !!! HAI !!!!!!!!!!! they also had the other villains there but werent really like used within the story but i understand, they also kinda did the same with tai lung but I LOVE TAI LUNG UGHSHWBDW. ok yep ALSO GAY DADS!!!!! but there were like 3 story lines going on, gay dads, villain, po and the other thing, it coulda worked out! but it felt rushed! idk but the betrayal was just sooooooooo obvious wdym u trusted a FOX who is a CRIMINAL who says DONT TRUST ANYONE, and I KNOW HOW TO GET YOU TO THE VILLAIN. po is kind hearted so i cant blame him for trusting her anyways i love u po big kiss. BACK TO VILLAIN, ugh she had so much potential, like the true introduction to her was merely perfect! there were gags to the side, but it didnt effect it as much! but PLEASE JUST LET HER BE A BAD PERSON SHE ISNT FUNNY !!!! WE NEED TO START TELLING PEOPLE THEY ARENT FUNNY OR IT RUINS THE WORLD!!!/j but the fight scene at the end was beautiful, it showed her true potential, but how it ended was anti climatic. a single move they couldve done at the beginnning, and a skadosh (i love skadosh btw) and when all the villains were finally leaving, there was no SERIOUS ENDING FOR HER. she just screams on the way in, gettiing one last laugh. idk i just love kfp im very passionate abt movies animation art music wat not sooo yeh i think thats it HAI TAI LUNG I LOVE UUUUU I LOVE UUUUUU AHHHHSHHAHAHAHHSSHSHAA conclusion the movie was beautiful, kinda funny, but beautiful das it the end

[yunhostinyuyu]

marks

pairing: bad boy!san x fem reader

genre: college au, suggestive, almost smut

wc: 3.1k

synopsis: Y/N swore herself to never get involved with people like Choi San: the typical fuckboy. She hated him (or she at least made herself believe she did) but thats the exact reason that drew him towards her...

warnings: teasing, making out, mentions of sex, alcohol and drugs

—

„look at who we have here? Y/N doing her dirty laundry, never thought I’d witness that.“

you were hunched on your floor with baskets of freshly washed clothes all around the floor. Whipping your head to the door of your dorm‘s bathroom, and you immediately regret it. The cheeky comment came from no other than Choi San - Resident fuck boy and unfortunately, your roommates best friend. He is the type of guy your parents would warn you from. The type to play with a girl until he’s satisfied and dips right after.

The type of you you would never want to get involved with in any sort of way.

But, since he hangs around your dorm frequently and you share a few classes and lectures, that was not easy. Crashing on the couch you bought with your roommate bought together when you moved in, more often than you’d like. Throwing certain looks at you when you entered the lecture halls or passed by him when he was chatting and smoking with his friends off campus. Never letting you breathe for a single moment, he enjoyed teasing you. Needless to say you hated his guts for many things, and he just added more reasons to your imaginary list with every passing day you saw him around campus.

Meanwhile, you’re lifestyle was the complete opposite of his, being the well mannered and friendly classmate, the typical nice girl everyone thought you were - and what your parents wanted you to be. Of course, you were not always like that, especially around your friends. With them you could act the way you truly are, and that was anything but the front you put on most of the time. But San made you drop any sort of friendliness to curse at him every chance you got. And right now was no different:

“Fuck off Choi. Wooyoung isn’t here, so leave.” you spat while not paying anymore attention to him, instead going back to the task at hand.

Taking a few steps towards you, inspecting the room as if he had seen it for the first time, and paying close attention of you putting clothes out of the washing machine. His eyes paying close attention to your hands that move in fluid motions.

“I know, but he’ll be here any second.” Trailing off, and you decided to not even answer him - he isn’t worth your time or nerves right now, after all he just wanted to get under your skin and rile you up. And the less you talk, the better.

He hums to himself, as he bends down to pick up one black, lacy pair of undergarments, inspecting them closely. His thumbs grazing over the neat material, fingertips holding them up in the air. You don’t realize he took something from the basket to your left until he comments on them.

“Are these new? Must be, huh... your little ass would look sooo cute in them. Are you gonna wear them for me one day, Y/N?” his low voice echoed through the tiled room, and you are fast to react: snatching the pair of panties back, out of his grip and throwing it back into the basket. Scoffing, showing your stride at him without any hesitation. “In your dreams. Now, leave me alone. I’m not gonna repeat myself, Choi.” Your features twist as you grow more and more annoyed with him.

“Oh don’t worry,” he backed up a few steps, but the cocky grin stayed on his lips, “with that attitude I’ll most certainly dream of it.”

You heard the door twist, which could only mean that Wooyoung was finally here to save you from any further suggestive comments. Considering you couldn’t stand anything more that was about to leave his mouth.

Admittedly, San has his reputation for a reason: him being one of the most handsome guys you have ever laid your eyes on. And if he wasn’t such an asshole, there would be a possibility you’d be interested in him. And yes, if the stigma that your parents had embroidered into your brain, that ‘sex is bad’ and to stay ‘pure’ until you’re married. If you could push that out of your mind for good, you would be maybe like San. Maybe, you’d even be with him... but god forbid he would ever find out you thought of him like that, especially when you had one of your moments, late at night. If he would know about your honest thoughts, he would use it to his advantage. He wouldn’t give in until he got his way with you - in his very own way.

“San-ah! Come on, we gotta go!” your roommate screams and prompts the visitor to get going quick.

“Too bad, guess I’ll see you around, Y/N. Maybe one day my dreams will become reality nonetheless.” He turns on his heels and dashes towards his friend. The repeating sound of the lock falling into place made you sigh out loudly, pressing your forehead against the cold material of the washing machine you’re still sitting in front of.

Incidents like these are not new and you have already gotten used to San having zero shame when it came to anything even remotely personal or sexual. He knew how he comes across, which only scores him more and more girls to take home and to make his body count grow rapidly. But until now, it hasn’t worked with you, and he’s trying time and time again to wrap you around his finger. Without success.

And you planned to keep it this way.

–

“I hate you for dragging me here.” you groaned after you kept chewing on the rim of your red cup. The girl on your right ignored your comment and kept scanning the crowd.

It was unbelievable, but yes: you were stuck on a frat party... again. Your cousin Mijung needed to meet a guy she was planning on hooking up with, and you lost a bet, so you had to go with her. In secret, she was still scared to go by herself and you wanted to help her - regardless of that you hated parties like this. Obviously, you hoped that she wouldn’t leave your side too soon, but at the same time it only meant you could get home earlier, which was a win in your books.

„Sure you do. But I don’t care right now, because you owe it to me. You could let loose for once and also get some good di-“

„No, I’m not, and you know I can’t!“ you cut Mijung off and she lifts her hands up in defeat.

She just scoffs while scanning the place for faces she might recognize. “Yes, yes I know. God forbid your parents ever find out your at a party like this, or even have sex. But they have nothing to worry about.” Thinking to yourself that they really do not need to worry, but deep inside you wanted to do all these things that you got restricted from. Forcefully restricted yourself from, and the longer you thought about it, you wanted to go against it. Date and sleep with guys as you please, live a little. But still, something unknown was holding you back from it.

“You know it’s not just that but also-“ you started explaining yourself for the nth time in your life, but now she cut you off and hopped off her barstool. The man she was waiting for finally appeared and she left with him after they exchanged a quick peck as a greeting. Being uncomfortable with the scene, you fumbled with your phone in order not to look awkward or out of place - but that’s exactly what you were. And on top of that, you were alone.

You held your phone tightly in your grip, watching over the intense crowd, people on people and the sight made you nauseous, especially when you locked eyes with someone that was kissing or grinding on each other. You wanted to be able to do those sorts of things, but at the same time it scared you, almost disgusted you. But the sting of alcohol in your cup that you barely drank made everything worse. The situation altogether was just too much for you.

“Now look at that, am I high or is the notorious Y/N at our place?”

You cursed to yourself when you recognized his voice.

“Fuck off, Choi.” was the first and only thing that you could think of while still scrolling mindlessly through your apps to appear busy.

He slides into the seat Mijung left empty just a few minutes ago. “Now, you know that doesn’t affect me. I just wanna talk a bit. I’m not feeling getting hammered tonight if I’m being honest.” He started a conversation and you forced yourself to look at him. He looked too good to be true with his messy hair and black shirt and jeans. But you ignored his visuals in order to give him a strict look.

“And what do you wanna talk about? We never talk. And I’m not gonna be here for much longer anyways.” You explained and San rose and eyebrow at your comment. “Oh? So we’re do you plan on going?”

You didn’t know, since Mijung was left so early, you haven’t given it any thought other than going back home, even if it was too early to leave, but yet dark outside.

“Home. To my dorm. I hate places like this.” You looked away, and he noticed your discomfort. The atmosphere was really awkward between the two of you. As a result you turned slightly away from him.

He sighs, “You know, we can go somewhere quiet.” You adamantly shake your head at his suggestion, “no, I’m not going anywhere with you. You’re aware of your reputation and so am I. I’m not doing that.” you spat disheartinly, assuming it was another one of his attempts to get into your pants. But surprisingly, it wasn’t.

“No, you listen now,” he took hold of your arm and twisted you back to face him. “You’re uncomfortable here, I can see that. I’m taking you to my room. And not to get with you, but because I promised Wooyoung to take him home when he’s completely wasted tonight. I can take you home then alongside him.” he says and his brows furred a little.

Wooyoung was someone you trusted, so if he trusted San to take him home when he’s completely shitfaced, then maybe you could also trust him? All alarms went off in your head telling you he was anything but trustworthy. But as you looked into his eyes, there was something genuine about his offer. But after a few moments of thinking, you gave him the benefit of the doubt: you complied and nodded, “okay, but just because Woo trusts you.�� But that was enough for him.

He got up and urged you to come after him, walking up the stairs until the loud noises from the other people steadily died down. After the two of you entered his room, your nervousness und sense of awkwardness disappeared again. Even if it was San, you were used to him, to his presence. And it was better then to be lost and alone downstairs.

“Make yourself feel at home.” He introduces you when he plops down at his bed, while you took a closer look around his personal space. There were plenty of books on his shelf, a flag hung up on the wall, and the desk was messy in books and other stuff he used frequently. To be honest, you imagined his room to be more messy, but it was just a kind of creative chaos.

The silence in his room was thick. He watched your movements closely for a while, but you tried to give him not much attention, even if you felt his stares linger on you. Minutes passed until he started to speak up again:

“Do you mind if I ask you something? I’m kinda curious, y’know.”

You turned around and look into his eyes, that are loosely hidden behind his dark strains of hair over his forehead. Arms pushed behind him on the bed to support his upper body, leaning back. You walk back a little until you sit down in a giant bean bag that was in the center of the small room. While you adjust yourself you look over to him once again, signaling him to continue talking. He sits up a little, leaning forward, elbows resting on his thighs.

“You know, any other girl would beg me to fuck them if they were in your spot. Why are you so determined to do anything but that?”

Taken aback, you knew San was bold, but you didn’t expect him to go there, especially not at this time, when he offered a hide out for you so considerably. Shrugging your shoulders you dip your chip to your chest and try to figure out a way to answer his question.

“I’m, uhm, I’m... it’s just not my thing.” You stutter out, and you are pretty sure you have an aura of uncertainty surrounding you. Of course, San picks up on it:

“Wait, not your thing? What kinda guy did you sleep with that make you think that way about sex? Or girl?” His facial expressions clearly confused, not yet understanding your reasoning.

You stayed silent. Because you couldn’t muster to say the truth: you haven’t. Yes, you were a still a virgin, in college. Nobody knew other than Mijung, not even any of your closest friends. And the fact that San was this close to discovering your secret, or probably already did, made you anxious.

“Mmh, I get it now. You never got laid. Not even once in your life. Am I Right?” He assumed and hit the nail right on the head. You wanted to cuss him out, hit and slap him, but that would only prove him right. The blush that crept on your face was answer enough for him. He stood up from his place on the bed to sit back down next to you on the floor. You couldn’t look at him, because of the pure humiliation he’s putting you through, trying to get swallowed by the fuzzy material of your seat.

“So that’s the reason you’re acting like this most of the time: you have never gotten any action together than with yourself. How am I only just now figuring this out?” He chuckles, having you in a spot were you couldn’t get out as easy as you’d like. Still not opting to speak, gnawing at the inside of your cheek instead, but you don’t need to anyway, because he continues to piece the evidence together.

“Wooyoung once mentioned you had strict parents, you know. Judging by how you act around your friends, I didn’t think you’d care about what they thought, no? You’re well past the age of being ‘daddy’s good girl’. And also by the way you throw shallow insults at me every time we are in the same room, I can tell you that you’re anything but the nice girl your parents want you to be. That’s not the real you. But Y/N, you know it’s your life? You can do whatever you want? If you want to take drugs, take them. If you want to smoke, smoke. If you want to get dicked down, then for fucks sake get some! You’re old enough to make your own decisions.”

Stunned by his rant, you scanned his face for any signs of emotions, but it was really hard to tell what was going on in his head. He sighs and dips his chin to the side, before finding your eyes again, taking your hand into his rough ones. The physical touch had a certain effect on you, and you wanted to be closer to him. Your future self your probably slap yourself in the face for this, but right now you got lost in his dark eyes and deep stare. Feeling vulnerable under the intensity of his gaze, not knowing what to do or say. Taking a quick breath, you uttered under your breath “where is this going, San?” Against all expectations, he smiles.

“Anything that happens here, between you and I, nobody else is gonna know about it. Not a single soul.” His hand slowly start to wander up your arm, touching the skin of your neck and threads his fingers through the strains of hair that rest on your shoulder. You don’t feel anything other than the alarms in the back of your mind slowly subside and be replaced by other thoughts.

“Just tell me no and I’ll stop.” His voice comes out raspy and seductive, and it sends waves of arousal down your core, even if the only physical contact you two had was from his wandering hands. The thought excited you, and he had a point: you could do whatever you wanted, and up until now, the consequences would keep you from giving into him. But there are no worries of the sort holding you back anymore, and if it was only for tonight, so be it. He was to strong, his effect was too strong.

His eyes never leave yours, until you give him an answer.

“Yes, okay. Yes I want it. I want you to show me what I’m missing out on.” You brace yourself for whats coming next, but nothing could prepare you for what he had in mind. He grabs your hips to lift you up, and in shock your arms fly to grab his shoulders. He settles you down in his lap, hands immediately find your ass and grips the flesh through your jeans. You both lean forward, hot breath mixing and hitting your faces. That was until San looses his patience just a few seconds later and presses his lips onto yours. And it wasn’t like anything you have ever felt before.

The two of you move in sync for what feels like ages, his tongue entering your mouth and taking the lead as he continues to grip your waist and butt to draw a few whimpers out of you. Your fingers found their place in his nape and gripped his hair as you busied your mouth with his. He breaks the kiss and moves down towards your neck and starts to suck on your skin, making marks blossom in shades of red and purple.

“If you want this to be a secret, you should make sure to cover up your marks later, because I’m not letting you go without adding my mark to your beautiful, beautiful body.”

Eyes blown out in lust, and you died in anticipation. He sucked more and more hickeys until he was satisfied with the finished product. He lifted his head up again and you wanted to kiss him again.

But then, you heard something hit the door from the outside, followed by a thud and a load groan. “San-ah! Let me in, I need to -“

—

[draganasimpsforjeff]

Hey, how are you? Hope your day/night is going well. Since I saw your post a moment ago do you have any Hcs; it can be sfw or NSFW with any theme like Angst or fluff for the proxies or Masky? Again sorry if this ask isn't the best

No its quite a good ask thank you! (Had to drag my procrastinating ass to do this bc my brain doesn't wanna do work now lmao)

MASKY

• SFW

•this dude would rather dive off a cliff then to admit his feelings are true

• has a hard time seeing the rational side of situations and would rather see the world as black and white as its simple that way

• he is a hunting dog after all to Slender

• one that growls and bites

• so like a dog that was trained to be aggressive and bare his teeth at anything, it would take someone with great care and patience to understand him and make him feel safe around you

• tho this doesn't mean that he won't protect you

• might make snide comments about your naive nature but thats just bc of how he is

• but make him morning coffee and possibly his favorite breakfast and he'll warm up

• he hates being touched on the shoulders but if you give him a massage then good luck getting out of it, itll become a daily thing

•NSFW

• i cannot see him being soft or "vanilla" unless he's in Tim headspace

• so if its Masky, prepare for a lot of sadism

• will definitely take you anywhere even on a mission, middle of a meal, or talking to someone on the phone

• gotta leave his mark. If you don't feel comfortable with showing his marks to anyone and try to wear clothes that hide a lot of them, they're gonna get ripped up

• so its best to just deal with it

• BSDM all the way (like I mentioned before)

• loves to humiliate and will do it in front of anyone

• will not stop until you are a crying, shaking mess, so there's a lot of overstimulation

Hoodie

•SFW

• alright enough with the nice guy shit (tho there may be some fluff...guh)

• just because he's the more level headed out of the other two fuckers, does not mean he will hesitate to fuck someone up (especially those he cares about)

• hes a protector of sorts but he'll choose to whom

• do.not.touch.his.gun

• that's his main source of security and if someone even gets close to it, he will break their fucking arm

• total caffeine addict...really..its bad? See him over there? He's shaking and talking to his coffee

•lmao anyways yeah its bad, if he has no caffeine for the day...he can get worse than Masky and that's saying something

• yes, I'm hc as an addict to sedatives

• tho he doesn't like that his brain takes longer to think about the best options and make it almost impossible get missions done

• but he's calm boi now

NSFW

• not the type to just take his anger out or his other emotions out during sex

• unless you're up for it 👀👀👀

• you're gonna need to see a chiropractor after tho

• hes a smooth flirt and will non stop making jokes until he has you under him

• daddy kink all the way

• financial one too

• he will not care if he only has $1 for himself that week, he'll get money somehow to buy his s/o something they want

• loves to feel his s/o skin against his, so not much into bondage as he wants them close and gripping on him

• definitely into receiving oral (mostly bc hes insecure about his ability to do wonders to his s/o with oral)

• mightusehisgunifyouactlikeabrat

Toby

SFW

• Okay, this boi is emotionally unstable, ik its like a common knowledge that he has ADHD and bipolar but I'm sensing this boi got some borderline personality disorder in the mix too (dw: I have this so I'm not making this up to make him more fucked up)

• so one minute he will go from seeing black and white, to suddenly the whole world in beautiful colors and appreciates everything

• doesn't like to talk about his feelings because he hates his vocal tics getting in the way

• so he picks songs that reflect that

• speaking of music, he really shouldn't but listens to music on missions to ignore Maskys comments and psychs himself up..especially if he got thay heavy bass going on, he's tense and paranoid to where his mind works best for the situation

• some of the music will trigger more of his ADHD side and notices everything

• will go from "I want to eat everything" to "what the fuck is the point of food" (queue E.J coming in)

• boi has deep trauma issues, the voices in his head mostly takes form of his step dad, mom, and his sister. (Mostly step dad tho)

• has difficulty with relationships so one might he can get along with his partners and others in the mansion and then suddenly get pissed off and yeet a chair at someone's head

•do.not.give.him.coffee

• mania mixed with bpd and caffeine...oh god.. you don't know what the fuck is gonna happen so...good luck

NSFW

• like I said, he's emotionally unstable (gawd I hate the way that sounded)

• so, one minute he will be afraid to hurt you and then will not give a single fuck

• why the fuck are you crying? Who gave you the right?

• will try anything unless it comes to bodily fluids or feet...no he will die first (no offense to those who do, this is just our boi)

• call him baby boy and he melts

• MOMMY KINK

• definitely a switch

• can get emotional during sex

• its not his fault tho

• but he can be submissive mode at this point (so have fun)

• loves it when his s/o is being a brat and likes to toy with them

• such a tease

• also has a daddy kink

[sickassastrology]

Who’s crushin on ya!? 😏🥰😍 This is a general pick a pile reading for the collective and your person. It may not resonate for all, so just take what sticks. Feel free to pick just one pile or take a look at them all. but please....be honest with your story. remember that timing is fluid and free will is something we all have. This could have already happened, your going through it, or will happen. Follow your heart always. -E 🌻💙

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PILE 1 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

So pile 1 your person is STUCK on you. This is someone from your past crushin on you. They just cant seem to get you out of their head-its literally making them sick. It’s like they have tried everything to distract themselves. But at the end of the day they are just worried sick, and have to speak whats on their mind. I see two 8s here so that number could be important to you or the connection. This person will be reaching out to you. this person lost you. You walked away from them and continued on with your life. And now that you left them, they are in a state of grief that you aren’t with them anymore. Ohhhhh, I see why you did....they were low vibes, huh? Had additions and didn’t want to come out of them either. Just stuck to their ball and chain. You gave A LOT to this connection. so much so that you were getting drained. I’m seeing a heart monitor, so it was like you were pumping love to this person on life support. And they were taking it. And it helped them, but they didn’t give it back because they didn’t have it. So-you had to leave. im getting that you had NOTHING left. Like even if you tried or wanted to give or have more for this person. they sucked you dry. And this hurt you. I am getting a betrayal energy from this person. They are stalking you too. If you moved on, they are looking at the new person around too. i heard the song “what we could have been“ by H.E.R. I see a guy driving around in his car at night listening to music smoking. So this person is dead in their feelings about you. They are reminiscing a lot about you. Don’t move too fast pile 1 because they are coming back. This person has done some work on themselves while they have been away too. They have been listening to spirit more. You were a divine light to them. you were placed in this persons path to help them with their addictions, help them be a better person. But nope they wanted to stay in the low vibes. like I always say, “and empress will never stay where she isn’t wanted. She will leave-BUT she will always be wanted back. She will always be needed. And this person, pile 1 needs you. i just heard I can’t live without you. So look out because they are coming around the mountain. Good luck. 😉

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PILE 2 🧿🧿🧿

Hi pile 2. Right off....this person wants to come back to you. But right now is a bad time. This person had a third party in the past and because of it, you cut them off. I don’t get the sense that this was a super long relationship. More of the beginning stages of developing into one. But this person was playing the field still. And you were having none of it. Youve been through enough. So you told them like it was, and if they try to come back again. You’ll tell them....again!! 😂 because you stood your ground, they view you as somebody different. I get that this person is used to getting over on people. But not with you so when you turned them away and cut them off. It forced them to make decision. and now their other options, I’m getting multiple people involved. They are done with them now. They have chosen you, and they are looking to come back. But boy oh boy they do have a ways to get there. This person could be at distance from you. I’m getting across water or state so they may travel to get there to you. but they have got to come correct because you are not playing! I get the sense of your not coming off of your throne-you just won’t do it. This group is no nonsense I mean honestly. 😩 your ready. You know your worth, and you are worthy of something good. You will not settle, nooooo not this time. Because youve already been through this. your heart can’t be played with anymore. This person is sad without you. They thought the other options would be better than you. Like oh “ill just go in my back pocket and choose from these”. But none were like you, so because of that....they feel STUPID. they feel so dumb, so sad that when they do come back. they won’t be able to even get a word in because you won’t hear them out. The “others“ are still coming for your person. Talk to them, be with them. But your person is just like no, I dont Want to be bothered, I want my bae back. But hey.....you may or may not be there when they decide to come. like they call you and if you answer then okay but if not, oh well. 😂 this person regrets what they've done. So dumb, so silly. To think....the other options were going to fulfill them. But they were sadly mistaken. pity boy, pity gal. 🥲 this person had options out the buttttt. They were playa playa from the Himalayas. this Person tried to play you, get over on you. And you found out. And said no not me, you WILL NOT do this to me. And they never had anyone do that to them. pile 2 I’m seeing you already know what it feels like to be not considered in a high regard. and You won’t do it again! Like if they want the others...go BYE! and now this person is feeling like they sabotaged this with you. They were living their ego. Somebody who has multiple options like that needs their ego to be fed. Like if the main person they want doesn’t work out or something happens they have backups. They can just go to someone else. Now this person feels like they aren’t enough for YOU! They now lack confidence, they are the jealous ones. They self-sabotaged. So yeah this person will come back with time, but your address may have changed by that time. *I just want to say I’m very proud of this group. A lot of lessons and growth!* best of luck! 😁

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PILE 3 🌸🌸🌸

alrighty pile 3, welcome! So this read will be more intuitive. Ironically enough, this group pulled three cards. So let’s get into it!.....*moment of silence because the energy is rather intense here*. I heard the song “baby come back” by player. I’m feeling this group has moved on from their person tbh. Like it’s just too little, too late for this person. This was somebody you walked away from. There was A LOTTT of love here. but also secrets and fears in this connection. With this person, your energy is coming up as “how could you do this to me-ME. Not in an egotistical way, but because you trusted and loved this person. And they loved you too. So when they did whatever they did to hurt or betray you, it was like how could you. 😩 I’m feeling like you weren’t even mad about it, more disappointed than anything. So after, you started just doing your own thing. Not really concerned with anything or anyone else. Just working on yourself. A reinvention. I’m seeing healthy eating or changing the color of your hair. Wearing sexy clothes (just for yourself) everything you started to do was about self love. And just when you started to move on or found someone new.....HERE THEY COME. like oh wait for me! i gotta be honest with y’all. I don’t feel like this person really cheated on you. I’m getting that maybe you thought they were doing you wrong but they weren’t. or a really bad agruement took place and something was said or done that was very distasteful and you felt betrayed by it. But I’m not getting strong cheating energy. You really thought it was something and it wasn’t and this person tried to explain and it went from there. (Downhill that is) there is so much sadness here. You really though this was going to work out and it didn’t. There has been some time that has passed here. This person didn’t know how to come back. no idea on what to say or do about the situation. But they daydream about it 24/7. They think about being intimate again and how it was like with you (if y’all were). this person wants to play something romantic. I’m seeing a dinner with candles a few drinks. Trying to take it back to the good times. But it took too long for this person. and now this person sees you with someone new And they can’t help but wonder...what if I would have gotten back in time. What if things would have worked out? This person does want to come back without a doubt! But will they? I’m not too sure, because it looks like you have someone else now. *PLOT TWIST*!!!! Pile 3 let me ask you this, do you love this new person like your old flame? I think NOT. You like this new person and everything, but your heart is with the person you broke up with. The new person is diggin you and likes you a lot. But there’s something thats just not hittin the same anymore. And your old person didn’t forget about you either. *i pulled extra cards for this group because I’m really feeling like this just may come back together. I’m getting that vibe heavy. For the outcome. I don’t see y’all coming back together ASAP because theres a decision that needs to be made and you don’t want to choose .your just kinda there. This connection right here is a divine pair. With the lovers and emperor here. But there’s still work that needs to be done by both parties and a conclusion by you. So you will be separated until then. I’m telling y’all...if you choose this person. Do not be surprised if this person gives you a ring. This person may right music or be into the arts. They may give you a gift that comes from their heart. a song. I heard melody. they could play an instrument or that was something you two had In common. The thought you of keeps this person sane while you aren’t with them. The thought of being with you again keeps them together. Like when they a bad day or something. Because you aren’t there physically, them daydreaming keeps them motivated. Pile 3, intuitively I gotta say it. I know y’all gotta make a decision and everything but this is going to work out. Idk when because time is fluid but it’s going to come back together. I’m telling y’all

now. its Going to take patience but in time it will. This connection is strong, y’all love each other too much. This person loves you. And they want to restore this! Like I said, this new person...your not fooling me! Yeah you like them, but that heart of yours didnt go anywhere. I’m going to say for this pile, your going to have to make the first moves because they feel like your done with them. They feel like there’s nothing they can do or say to get you back. WOW, you all have to let me know how this plays out because it will work out! I almost want to cry. can I get an invite to the wedding with a +1 please!?

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Ocean Eyes - Part 7

When we finally arrived at Sue's house Chris walked with me to the front door... i nearly tripped at one point but luckily he managed to grab my arm and keep me upright! I had whispered a quiet 'thanks' before knocking lightly on her front door. Sue opened the door ushering us inside and leading the way to the living room where i saw Mason curled up on the sofa. He was asleep but he looked white and sweaty, there was a bowl on the floor beside his head incase he was sick again.

"He hasn't been asleep long, i think he wore himself out crying"

"Chris can you get Mason please? I can't carry him like this...."

"Yeah sure, i got him" he quickly moved forward and scooped Mason up into him arms.

"Mama...." Mason moaned looking around for me.

"Im right here baby, your dads gonna carry you out to the car".

"God you weren't kidding bout that fever" Chris added looking down at Mason in concern.

"Im gonna get him home, thanks for watching him Sue"

"Sure thing hon, hope he feels better soon. Here, take the bowl incase he gets sick on the drive home" she smiled passing me the plastic bowl that had been next to Mason.

The drive home i had Mason cradled against me as he slept, the seat belt going around the both of us being as we had no car seat in Chris's car!!

God i felt like a crappy mom tonight!

When we got home i sat with Mason on the sofa and stripped him down to his underwear to try and cool him down.

"Chris could you get me a cold washcloth please, there should be some in the pile of laundry on the table"

"Sure" he rushed off to grab the cloth, Mason was just laying against my chest, whimpering slightly.

"Here you go" Chris passed me the cloth and sat beside us "i got him some water too, he should be drinking plenty of fluids"

"Thanks" i smiled before folding the cloth and laying it over Mason's forehead. He moaned at the coldness but soon settled again clinging onto me, it didn't take long until he was asleep. I sighed in relief and carefully moved forward in my seat so i could lay him down.... i was desperate for the bathroom!! Mason stirred and held on tighter, for such a little thing he had a grip on him.

"Can you try taking him i really need to pee!" I looked at Chris with desperate eyes. He chuckled and managed to pry Mason off of me and into his arms.

While i was in the bathroom i wiped off my make up and tied my hair up before getting changed into my pyjama's.... it was gonna be a long night. Once i was done i headed to the kitchen and made coffee, hopefully it would help sober me up a bit more.

"Ah fuck!" I cursed as i sloshed the coffee onto the floor while making my way back to the living room "i made coffee, you might still have some left if you're lucky"

"Thanks" Chris looked up and smiled, i didn't miss the way he looked me up and down either.

"Does he still feel hot? If his temperature doesn't start to go down soon we'll have to try a lukewarm bath maybe give him some Tylenol...."

"Yeah his still hot, but it doesn't seem to be getting worse"

"This is so unlike him, Mason never gets sick. I can literally count on one hand the amount of times his been sick" i shook my head "i'm so close to freaking out right now you have no idea...."

"Calm down sweetheart, he'll be fine"

"Thank you for staying with us, i probably would've been calling my mom in hysterics if you hadn't been here"

"There's no where else id rather be" he said looking down at Mason lovingly.

"Right.... i should probably text Scott let him know we're home" i got up to grab my phone from my purse and started a text to Scott. We had dropped him at his place on the way to collect Mason.

There was a message from Derek on my phone too which i quickly skimmed, he was saying how much he enjoyed meeting me and wanted to know if i wanted to get dinner with him sometime!! I decided i'd reply to him in the morning and put my phone on the table, Mason was the only thing i could deal with right now.

I applied a fresh cloth to Masons forehead and checked his temperature, slowly but surely it was going down. I sat beside him and Chris on the sofa and sighed in relief.

"Looks like his fever is easing off finally" i said yawning and letting my head fall back against the sofa, we'd been up for hours now keeping watch on Mason.

"Yeah, thank god" Chris mumbled as he carefully tried to move Mason in his arms.

"You want me to take him?"

"No no, i'm good, my arm has fallen asleep is all" he smiled.

"You sure? i don't mind...."

"We're all good".

We sat in silence with the TV on low for some background noise and i couldn't help but look at Chris and how natural he was at being a dad.

"You should get some sleep, you look exhausted" Chris suddenly said interrupting my internal thoughts!

"You trying to tell me i look like shit Chris?" I asked raising my eyebrows at him.

"What?? No!! I didn't mean that..."

"Im fucking with you relax" i chuckled shaking my head.

"You looked beautiful tonight" i heard him say quietly, maybe i wasn't supposed to hear him but i did.

"Its amazing what you can do with some make up and clothes that aren't sweats and t-shirts"

"You look beautiful without make up even wearing your sweats and a t-shirt, i just meant that you looked good. I personally prefer this version of you"

"Haha, now i know your just trying to make me feel better....i'm a mess!"

"Prettiest girl i know" he said giving me that smirk of his.... my god damn weakness!!

"Are you just saying this because you think i'm drunk and wont remember?? Because i'll have you know i have mostly sobered up by this point"

"Im well aware, i just..... never mind. You should try and get some sleep".

I nodded agreeing with him, the conversation was about to turn awkward and i wasn't ready for that!

"Wake me up if Mason needs me...?"

"Of course".

When i woke up again i had somehow ended up cuddled up against Chris! He had his arm around me, my head resting on his chest, Mason still sleeping on his other side. To anyone who saw us and didn't know better we looked like the perfect little family. I felt myself start to panic..... i shouldn't have let myself get this close to him! It was too easy to fall back into that comfortable routine we always had..... but we didn't have that anymore, at least i didn't think we did. I carefully eased away from him making sure he was still sleeping and made a quick exit to the kitchen, he didn't need to know about this!

As i started making some coffee and toast i heard the soft voice of my baby boy. As i stuck my head round the door i saw he was sitting up talking with Chris, he looked so much better this morning thank god.

"Where's mom?" I heard him ask and i stepped into the living room giving him a smile.

"Im right here bud, how you feeling?" I asked as i sat in front of them on the coffee table, i reached over to hold the back of my hand against his forehead "looks like your fever is almost gone"

"Im hungry"

"I bet! But its dry toast for you buddy. You've gotta go easy for a little while.... are you still feeling sick?"

"No, not anymore"

"Okay thats good!".

"Dad are you staying for breakfast?" Mason asked.

"Um...."

"Pleaseeee" Mason begged looking at him with those eyes that were exactly like his dads, Chris looked at me waiting for my say so.

"Its fine with me, if you have time..."

"I do! Yeah of course!" He said quickly nodding his head with a huge smile.

After we had all eaten Chris took Mason for his bath after Mason insisted he go with his dad. While they were gone i sent a text to Scott with an update and saw a missed call from Hannah, i sat at the kitchen table and quickly called her back.

"Hey! Hows Mace?? My mom said you had to come get him last night"

"Yeah it was eventful, he had a fever and was being sick" i sighed "Chris stayed to help out with Mason... i had had so much to drink Han"

"You let him stay..."

"To help with Mason yeah"

"Hmmm of you say so" she laughed

"Shut up, what happened to you last night, huh?? You disappeared with Troy"

"I know, im sorry but did you see him?? I knew you were okay with Scott. So what about you and Derek?? He seemed very interested"

"He was nice" i nodded "he texted me last night but i haven't had a chance to reply yet"

"But your gonna right??"

"Yeah...."

"Y/N text him back!! That man was gorgeous!!"

"I will"

"Don't make me come round there"

"Oh god Han, your so pushy" i laughed.

"Only because i love you"

"I love you too, i gotta go though i'll speak to you later".

When i walked into the living room Mason was sat on the sofa watching cartoons and Chris was gathering his things.

"Your leaving already?"

"Yeah i've got a meeting at 11:00am..."

"Okay, well thanks for last night"

"Sure, anytime" he smiled "hey, i was wondering if next weekend i could take Mason to meet my mom? She's been asking when she can meet him...."

"Um.... yeah sure"

"You can come too if you want? I know my mom would be happy to see you" he said with a smile.

"Okay" i nodded "it'll just be us though right? I don't want Mason getting overwhelmed with too many new people"

"Yeah of course, maybe Scott too if he finds out you know what his like"

"Thats fine" i nodded with a smile knowing exactly what Scott was like.

"Thank you, i should go.... can i come by later though? Id like to check in on Mason"

"Sure, i'm sure he'd like that"

"I'll see you later then" he smiled before heading over to Mason "bye buddy i gotta go to work for a bit but i'll come see you later"

"Okay, bye dad".

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier

Ocean eyes: @supraveng @michelehansel @melissaglenn5 @denisemarieangelina @mrsjeffwittek @mery-be @marvelfansworld @cmalass @capstopavenger @fallenoutofrose @kelbabyblue @biebsmylife95 @loser-alert @traceyaudette @w3lissax @jennmurawski13 @ford66steal @saiyanprincessswanie @christocrave

[lilteamushroom]

🔥Ignite🔥

Charlie x Genie!Reader  Tag list! @prismaroyal​

This was a request from @ironbar36​ 

|| Reader is a genie trapped in hell and she meets Charlie who helps her not get redeemed but overcome they're addiction to fucking up people's wishes on purpose. Charlie asks for a wish. Which is she knows Alastor is plotting to destroy the hotel for sure and wants to know if they can seal him in a magic bottle for the time being. She loves Al but she can't bear to think that her life's work is gonna burn because of him ||

*warnings: swearing

“Charlie do we have to look through all of this old junk?” Angel Dust complained. Angel, Charlie, and Nifty were in the attic of the hotel. Since Charlie bought the hotel and innovate it there was some left over junk left from the last person who owned the hotel.

Books, trunks full of clothes, maps, crystals, silver wear and many other treasures were laying around lost to time.

“Come on Angel! It’s not that bad! Look at all this cool stuff!” Charlie encourages by picking up a box full of silver items. Angel frowned taking the box from her and sat down on the floor. He dug through the box then something caught his eye. An Egyptian perfume glass bottle. Angel would never admit it but her loves this kind of shit. He picked it up but then a sparkling golden smoke started to come out of it. Angel set it down and took a step back.

“What is that?” Charlie asked. Angel threw his hands up.

“I don’t know! I picked it up and it just started to do that!” He yelled. They took a step back, Charlie had Nifty go behind her. A mass of glitter exploded out of the bottle then a person came out of it. They had (y/hair color), smooth skin, (y/eye color) eyes that could kill, silk clothing, that were golden, red and purples

You stretched your arms above your head.

“Man does it feel good to be out of there!” You say breaking the silence.

“The fuck are you supposed to be?” Angel asked standing up. You smiled at him.

“I am the wonderful (y/n)! Here to grant you any wish you want.” You smirked to them. Charlie intervened before anything bad happened.

“Hi, I’m Charlie, welcome to the Happy Hotel!” Charlie said to you offering a hand to shake. You gladly took it and shook her hand.

“Pleasure to meet you Charlie.” You say to her.

“This is Angel Dust and thats Nifty.” Charlie said introducing her friends standing by her.

“Wowie! I have been in that bottle for 79 years! It’s been so long! So I’m in a hotel?” You ask her. Charlie nods happily.

“Yes! This is a hotel that Rehabilitates sinners!” Charlie answered with confindence.

“Ah I see! You want to save people down here so they can go to heaven?” You ask 

“Exactly!” Charlie replied. You pick up you bottle and slip it onto the twine wrapped around your waist.

“May I have a tour of the hotel?” You ask her. Charlie nods in excitement.

“Of course! I would love to! Follow me!” Charlie said happily. you followed her, interested in this rehabilitation idea she has.

“So you can what? Grant wishes or some shit like that?” Angel Dust asks. You nod your head happily.

“I can grant anyone any wish they want.” You say smirking. Angel grinned. “Might have to take you up on that.” He replied. Your winked at him “Your wish is my command.” you say to the large spider creature.

You follow Charlie as little Nifty kept asking you different questions. You arrived to a large room that had a bar to the side. “This is Husk our bar tender!” Charlie says to you. You wave at him. He grunts then takes a swig from his drink.

“This is my best friend Vaggie and the waiter at this hotel!” Charlie said wrapping her arm around the girl next to her. “Charlie, who is this?” She asked. “Funny story, when we were going through the attac, Angel found a bottle and now they are here” Charlie sumed up their meeting.

“Pleasure to meet you, my name is (y/n)” you say to her. You could hear footsteps from behind you. “Oh just in time! Al, this is (y/n)!” Charlie said happily. You turned around to be face to face with a tall man. You squinted at him. “You look familiar.” You said to him. He squinted back. “Do I?” He questioned. You nodded. “I can’t put my finger on where I’ve seen you before.” You say as you tap your chin trying to think of where you have seen him before. “Ooo do you know each other?” Charlie asked.

You took a step back to take a look at him.

Then it hit you.

“Holy shit.” You took a deep breath. “It’s you.” You say backing away. He tilted his head then approached you getting real close to your face.

“And who am I, my dear?” He asked.

“You were alive when I was. You were there for all those murders and the stock market crash in 1929.” You say to him. He laughed adjusting his skeptical. “You remember me?” He questioned. You nodded.

“You name. It’s fuzzy. Why can’t I remember your name?” You asked.

“You were alive when he was?” Vaggie asked. You nodded. “I don’t know why but I can’t remember much of what happened.” You closed your eyes.

THE RADIO DEMON STRIKES AGAIN. The newspaper read. Each murder is left out in places that easily could be seen by the public, they always had a radio next to them playing “Dancing the Devil Away” by Don Voorhees. The bodies were always found with chunks of their body taken out. Almost like someone cut the chunks out. This Radio Demon has everyone in the town one their toes. Locking doors, armed men watching over their families. It worked for a while. Til he striked again. Though this Radio Demon would eventually meet his fate.

“Back when we were alive they referred him as “The Radio Demon.” Just like they do now.” You explain to them. Alastor only stood their in amusement.

“Yes well that is all back when we were alive right? It doesn’t matter now, darling.” He chuckled. “Yeah. Sure” you said to him, obviously not trusting him. You walk away not wanting to look him in the eye. “So Angel, what do you?” You ask. He smiles.

“For a living?” He asked. You nodded.

“I suck dick.” He answered casually. “Ah.” You say. “No judgement here.” You said as you put your hands up.

Later on you pulled Charlie to the side to talk.

“Listen. I don’t know if I could be redeemed. But I like what you have going on here. So I would like help with an addiction I have.” You confess to Charlie. She was smiling knowing she could help someone.

“Of course! What do you need help with?” Charlie asked. You played with your fingers.

“I can grant anyone any wish they want. But I really like to fuck up their wish. Like fuck it up real bad. For the 10 years I was in Hell before I was put in that bottle, I would be messing up people’s wishes. It was so fun watching them get their hopes up then be completely devastated when something went wrong. That’s when it started. And it just got worse. Nifty and Angel already have their wishes. I don’t want to fuck it up. But knowing me. I will. Will you help me Charlie?” You ask her.

She looked like she was going to cry.

“As princess of hell and you are our first patient, you will get extra help and we will do everything we can to help you.” She said to you.

The next few weeks was you and Charlie granting random people’s wishes and not doing harm. It was hard at first but then you realized you could really help people. Charlie really helped you realize that maybe some people here in Hell are worth saving and redeeming. After a long time of this Charlie had a question.

“What up sugar?” You ask her sitting down on the park bench you were at. She looked around.

“I have a wish.” She said to you. This surprised you. “You do? What is it?” You ask.

“This hotel is my life’s work. Knowing Alastor, he will just ignite it and let all my hard work go up in flames. I can’t have that happening.” Charlie started out. She looked at you with serious eyes.

“I need to have him gone. I need to know if you could seal him away.” Charlie asks. You think about it. “I am powerful, but he is definitely more powerful than I am. But if we time it right and get the right materials, I can do it. My bottle won’t work. We need to either make a demon sealed bottle or find something along those lines. Charlie..” you looked at her.

“You’ve helped me so much. I will grant you this wish.” You say to her. She smiled and brought you into a hug. You of course hugged her back.

“We got one chance at this. We have to do it right. Once I get that bottle, it’s all about timing.” You say to her. She nods. She knows how hard this’ll be. Even though Alastor could destroy her life’s work, he is still her friend.

DEAD BODY FOUND 20 FEET AWAY FROM POLICE DEPARTMENT!

This killer is getting ballsy. 20 feet away from the police department? He’s getting bolder with where he’s dumping bodies. Though some witness say they saw someone. A tall and slender man with a bloody microphone. This victim was beaten to death. They had blows to the head, their skull almost completely crushed in. Whoever he is, he has to be stopped.

After some time looking for the right materials, you found yourself in your room with a bottle made out of a mirror. You soaked the bottle in a cauldron. The water had things the victim didn’t like. Sex. Angel donated some of his blood and... other bodily fluids. Dogs. The hair from a Hell puppy. Tea. Green tea bags. Sweet things. Frosting and chocolate. Post 30s technology. Which you ended up using an old smart phone of yours, which you crushed up. You stirred the cauldron letting all the ingredients melt into a liquid. The last ingredient. A DNA sample from the person. Nifty easily gotten a hair from cleaning. When you put in the hair it blazed then the liquid turned pinks and reds. The bottle was placed in the cauldron. You placed the lid on top and put the fire out under it. Yes you were having a fire in a hotel room but you got permission from Charlie so it’s fine. Now that needs to sit for 30 hours. 30 hours. That’s all we had left. You left your room and locked the door behind you. You saw Alastor at the end of the hallway. You put on a smile as you walked down by him. “Hello Al! How has your day been!” You say happily to him.

“Why it’s been marvelous! Thank you for asking!” He cheered. You nodded and continued to walk. He followed closely behind.

“What are you doing, darling?” He asked.

“I’m hungry as fuck.” You answered. He nodded. “I know a good recipe!” You nodded and continued to walk. You had to keep your cool. Does he know? Could he smell the cauldron? You put a smell protection spell on the door so the smell wouldn’t get out. Could he break through that. Stop worrying he doesn’t know. But does he? Keep it cool (y/n). Stay calm. You can’t show fear around him.

In the dining room to get some food to eat. But he was still following you. You turned around.

“Is there something you want?” You ask him.

“No I’m not hungry.” He replied. You almost laughed. Almost. But you shook your head.

“Not what I meant. I mean, I remember being in the area of when you were alive and killing.” You say to him. He doesn’t let his guard down.

“I killed...” he got closer to you. “Because I enjoyed it.” He bent over just a bit “I loved that thrill of energy when taking someone’s life.” He said and got closer to your face.

“You my dear, know how that feels.” He said intensely. “Alastor take a step back.” Charlie said coming into the kitchen. He backed away.

“No need to worry darling! We were just getting something to eat!” Alastor said happily.

“Riiiiight” Charlie said taking your hand into hers and taking you to a different room.

“30 hours.” You say to her. She nods.

—————————————————

25 hours til showtime.

You were sitting on a stool talking with Husk while sipping brandy. He was very grumpy and sarcastic but could be funny. But unintentionally funny.

“So you knew the radio fuck?” Husk asked. You nodded. “Not personally. But when he was alive and killing, I lived in the area that the murders where happening. The amount of people killed could be 25-100. No one really knows though.” You say to him.

“Great I’ve always fuckin wondered how he got into hell” he said.

“What about you, whiskers? How’d you get here?” You ask him. He grunted.

“Don’t call me fuckin whiskers.” He sighed “I was in the Veitnam war, killed a bunch of people and shit. When I came back, I couldnt get over it so I kept drinking to wash the pain away eventually I pulled the trigger.” He confessed to to you. You had never seen this side of Husk.

“I’m sorry that happened.” You say to him. He grunts. “Whatever I’m here now.” He looked at you. “The fuck did you do?” He asked. You gave a breathy laugh in response.

“I worked at a psychic place where I would tell people’s fortune and shit, hence the genie thing. Except I didn’t give them their fortunes. I just told them suckers to go to a certain place at a certain time to meet their “lover” or “a place with high energy” but in reality I would be there waiting for them. That became a way of life. Til you know, I got caught and got the death sentence.” You confessed to him.

“That’s fucked up.”

“Shut the hell up.”

10 hours til showtime.

You were hanging out with Angel and Cherri, playing with his pig, Fat Nuggets. You guys were talking about the latest gossip, and trends happening in Hell.

“Angie why’d it take you so long to introduce me to (y/n)?!” Cherri asked while taking a drink of her Shirley Temple. Angel was drinking a strawberry cream cocktail, and (y/n) was drinking three fingers of rye.

“I dunno never thought about it.” Angel replied. You dramatically put your hand on your chest, “how dare you not think about me.” You say in a very dramatic English accent.

“I’m fucking sorry Jesus (y/n)!” Angel replied just as dramatically. You three laughed from Angels reaction. You were having Fat Nuggets do some tricks then giving him a treat in return when he did the trick right. “I find it funny that Husk is Fat Nuggets petsitter.” You say to Angel. He laughs. “Yeah he actually really likes Fat Nuggets.” You guys hung out for a couple of hours.

3 hours til showtime.

You wanted some time with Charlie before everything went down.

“I wanted to spend time with you Charlie. I don’t know what’ll happen in the next few hours. You’ve helped me a lot” you say to the fair skinned girl next to you. She smiled. One that would stay with you forever.

“I’m glad you wanted to spend this time with me.” Charlie answered you. You wrapped your arms around her and held her there in your arms for a while.

“Sorry, give me a minute. Just in case things don’t go according to plan, I wanted to take this moment to treasure this time we have together.” You say to her. She wraps her arms around you.

“I’m glad we could have this time. It’ll be okay (y/n).” Charlie says to you.

Showtime.

Everyone was ready. Everyone was in place. The plan was that Charlie was going to go over some hotel plans. While he was distracted, you have to go to him and just touch him.

That’s all I have to do. I just have to touch him.

Vaggie was on guard ready to hold him in place if needed. Husk and Nifty were keeping watch to make sure his shadows didn’t cause trouble for them. Angel and Cherri were sitting on the couch, ready to jump in if you needed back up. Everyone is there for you. Everyone is ready.

You approached the man, no. Demon who killed all those innocent people. Cut them up and ate them for power. I reached out to him about to touch his coat when he turned into a shadow and reappeared a couple feet away from you.

“Would you like something my dear?” Alastor asked you. You nodded your head.

“Yeah, wanted to know what your opinion was on this part of the hotel. What about a pool?!” You asked him. His smile grew.

“That is a wonderful idea!” He replied to you. You sighed in relief that, that worked.

He stood next to Charlie. You had an idea. Let him touch you. He doesn’t like to be touched but he invades peoples personal bubble by him touching them. Patience. That’s all it takes. He’s gotta touch you eventually.

He’s avoiding you. Not directly but he hasn’t touched you once even though Alastor is a very touchy person. He knows something is wrong. But he doesn’t know what is wrong.  “My my, the tension in this room is quite strong.” Alastor said with a smile. You nodded.  “I wonder why that is.” You ask sarcastically. He looped around the table next to you. This was it. This was your chance. You moved your hand. You got him. You had his wrist in your hand. Though he hand his black tentacles wrapped around your body. He was slowly starting to melt away, as he started to slip into the bottle. You didn’t under stand why he wasn’t attacking.  Angel, Charlie, Husk, Vaggie, and Nifty were holding onto Alastor. He couldn’t escape now. “Darling, you have me now, but I will get out. Your power cannot hold me forever.” He said as the last bit of him went into the bottle. You put the cap on and made sure a protection spell on it. Charlie wrapped her arms around you. “We did it. We really did it.” She said to you. You wrapped your arms around her too. The others came into the hug too. You all came out of the hug and sat at the table to discuss what happens now.  “The hotel is safe, for as long he is contained.” Vaggie said to the rest of the group. “My power can hold him. Eventually he will get out. Not now, but eventually.” You say to them. “Until then, we should increase our numbers.” Husk recommended. You nodded. “When that happens we will be ready.”  

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

When I Dated a Trans Man and Pan Guy

Why did you made me think that I had to be a man, dress like a man, talk like a man...just to be loved or even liked by a person like you?

Why did you think it was ok to make me question my gender, my sexuality, my appearance?

Just because you think that I don't look gay enough as a feminine woman, doesn't mean you get to call the shots and tell me who to be to be loved.

Cause truth is, you never loved yourself as a woman, as a they, and probably not as a trans-nonbinary. I hope you do one day.

And that you learn to stop "suggesting" other people to change, so you don't have to feel so dumb and naive about not knowing who you are. Well lets be honest, you changed and you probably were hoping I would want to change to.

To be a trans man. I can't be that. Thats not who I am. And I can't do that for you. And neither can she. You can't make us change, so you don't have to go through it alone. No one is making you, its you who doesn't feel right in your own body, so why attack us too?

Dysphoria doesn't give you the right to hate on other women's bodies just because you want to be a man and you hate the body you were born into.

Im sorry if this makes you upset, but I'm not gonna just let you tear my walls down that protected me for so long. Cause I hear little girls who used to say my legs looked manly, and that I dressed like a tomboy.

I don't believe that God made me a woman with manly legs to influence me to change into a man. My legs are strong and I'd like to keep them that way. My daddy gave them to me for a reason.

But this is where it stops. No more liking people who want me to change any parts of myself so they can just love me or just have sex with me. Im not a customizable toy.

No man, no woman, or whatever gender you identify as....don't criticize your partners for not being manly enough or not being feminine enough. If they came that way, don't try to change us. If you want to be with a stud, don't date a femme and try to change her into dressing up like that for you and she's not comfortable with it. Don't suggest that a person should be gender fluid like its a costume. Let them decide in their own way and change into who they want to be or dress the way they want to.

Telling them how to dress is controlling. Telling them to only be into certain people so you feel more comfortable about their sexuality, is controlling. Telling them that they're only half-gay or maybe you should change your label, is condescending and disrespectful.

If you have insecurities about who you're with and you guys views on values, sex, love, intimacy, and gender do not match. They're not a good match. There's other fish in the sea to be find more capability to your liking.

I'm just so tired of running into the same type of women and then certain bisexual dudes, who won't just admit that they can't have sex with just you as a girl. This is what happens when you date or get involve with the wrong people for you. They're just not meant for me, even though I actually did try to change for them.

Flushing down old ideals, letting in new, more healthy, secure lovers who actually do appreciate me the way I am as a woman who sometimes wears slouchy clothes and mens shirts to work. I mix it up, but I know who I am. I can't be more than 2 people for one person, that's literally impossible. Im not a man and a woman combined. Im just me.

[queer-sky]

i found this on YouTube from Ashton Daniel so im gonna link their original video since its his tag but i thought it would be fun to do it as well

NONBINARY TAG

1. Let's do the basics - what's your gender and what're your pronouns? (tell me all your gender labels!!)

id say nonbinary and genderfluid fits best

and i mainly use they/them pronouns but at times im okay with he/him or she/her pronouns as well depending on how i feel on the gender spectrum i guess

2. Do you consider yourself to be under the trans umbrella, or is being nonbinary separate from that for you?

i personally feel that at least for myself nonbinary doesn't count as trans but im sure for others it does just i dont identify with the trans label

3. How do you feel about the label "enby"? Do you use it for yourself?

yes i do use it and i think it sounds lovely actually

4. What song is your gender?

am i a girl - poppy

5. Do you experience gender euphoria and if so, what causes it?

yea i do when i look/pass as androgynous or masc depending on how i feel that day/time

6. What's a question you're tired of being asked?

im actually not out to many people yet so there arent any yet but something thats annoying is telling someone i identity as nonbinary and they keep calling me girl

7. What outfits, accessories, presentations do you feel most yourself in? Is your style connected to your gender for you?

yes my style is connected to my gender so it fluids all the time really but baggy clothes and more masc jewelry does like chains and safety pin earrings and stuff like that or random objects as earrings like the other day i made small rubics cube earrings which i really like and also definitely wearing a beanie and having my hair in it (making it look short)

8. Have you identified with different genders, nonbinary or otherwise, in the past?

well ive identified with my birth gender before but im not sure if i actually did or if i just didnt really question my gender before cuz i knew im not a boy so i must be cis then idk

9. Are there gendered phrases or words you like/don't like? Dude, gal, man, sis, etc?

i don't really like gendered words in general id rather be refered to as genderneutral terms

10. What compliments best suit your gender? Handsome, beautiful, pretty, hot, stunning, etc?

i actually haven't thought about that yet but i think im fine with either ones? idkk

11. What's your favourite gender-neutral alternative to commonly gendered words? (e.g. sib instead of brother/sister, mx instead of miss/mr, enby instead of boy/girl, etc?)

just refer to me as a person like i dont feel the need to have a certain gender to be addressed as but yea genderneutral ones are good too like mx and enby and goddex or royalty instead of king/queen

12. Do you like the nonbinary pride flag for yourself? Do you prefer the trans flag, or a flag more specific to your gender?

yea i do like the nonbinary one

13. Are physical and/or medical transition important to you? If so or if not and you want to expand, do so!

no well not medical/surgical but i was thinking about getting a binder/sports bra and maybe something to make my hips not look so wide

14. Are there any nonbinary people you look up to? If so, who?

im not sure tbh but i have some nonbinary friends and i told one of them

15. How do you write "nonbinary"? one word, two words, with a dash?

i write it as nonbinary so one word

16. If you are/were to be someone's significant other, how would you want to be referred to? Boyfriend, girlfriend, theyfriend, partner, lover, etc?

probably partner or like their person but maybe if my gender leans more towards one side then id like to be referred as boyfriend or girlfriend but probably not really boyfriend cuz that term sounds toxic to me since most of my relationships with guys were toxic so i guess partner or girlfriend

17. Are you out in your day-to-day life, just online, just to close friends, etc?

just online i wanna figure it out first before i come out in rl and other then being called sky it wouldn't really change much since german doesn't have they/them pronouns

18. Are there any silly nonbinary stereotypes you embrace? e.g. pride flag stuff, coloured hair, liking plants, cats, whatever else?

yea i have piercings and dyed hair even tho its only split dye and a natural red but i wanna dye it purple or blue if im able to and i do have two pride flags hanging up in my home and some pride wallpapers and i kinda like cats plants and rocks

19. Does the word "queer" fit you, do you use it for yourself?

yea i think it really does and i do use it as a umbrella term meaning im part of the lgbtq+ community and bc i havent found a right label that completely fits me yet sexuality wise as well

20. This isn't nonbinary related, I just think it's a cool question. If you could go to any concert of any band, artist, performer, living or dead, what's the lineup?

probably gay/indie music so like

girl in red,hayley kiyoko,cavetown,dodie,jessiepaege

cant think of more artists rn oop

[foegold]

people be wanting to know about a lil blue bastard. this ones long as hell so its under the cut jsdhfg

Your character wasn’t an adventurer, what livelihood would they lead?

farmer! he’d just keep living the way he’d been living. it’s the sort of life he imagines he’ll return to one day, after he’s seen and done enough. ‘enough’ is a really arbitrary end goal though

Who in the party would your character trust the most with their life?

who in the party wouldn’t he trust with his life tbh. in the most literal sense he’d trust Eli with it just because he knows Eli can bring him back from dying in some stupid and ill-advised way

What are your character’s core moral beliefs?

frogs are good, try to be nice to people but if they’re mean to you first then at least a few bets are off, the rich should probably be eaten. killing is sometimes necessary but maybe try some other stuff first

What relationship does your character have with their parents and siblings?

he doesn’t have any siblings, and his relationship with his mom and recently present dad is. a little weird, and not all the way comfortable, and not like really bad, but just confusing? it’s confusing. at least he’s had more transparency from his mom recently than just about any other time. it’s a start

Does your character have any biases for or against certain races?

he trusts other tieflings a little quicker than other races but its not really saying much because he’s not smart and if you’re good at talking and sound like you know what you’re talking about he’ll just believe you. he doesn’t have the good sense to second think it without prompting

What is your character’s opinion on nobility? On authority?

so far just about every interaction with nobility has been messy or bad or scary or all three so right now the opinion is “not great”. also thats just too much money. whaddahell would you do with that much money.  he’s generally uneasy with authority figures at best, and flat out paralyzed by them at worst. he’s easy to bully when he doesn’t have anyone backing him up and he knows and hates it

Describe your character’s current appearance: clothes, armor, scars they’ve picked up along the journey, etc.

he cycles through an assortment of sweaters but the one he wears the most is the heart sweater he got in Wunjo that’s been altered a few times in the last few months. he do keep collecting those scars tho, before starting adventuring he had a handful of minor scars just from working around the farm with the animals and the equipment and from romping around in the country. now he’s got all sorts, but the most prominent ones are: the thin scar on the left side of his face, starting just below the eyebrow and curving gently below his eye (the last time Leo would leave a mark on him); the twisted angry scars across his torso from being mauled by a giant undead horse(?); and the fluid, patterned necromancy scars slowly spreading across his back, creeping along inch by inch

What location encountered in the campaign has your character felt the most “at home” in, or just generally liked the most?

besides his own house, Roman’s house has been the nicest! its warm and theres soup and friends there. there was a run down little ranch house somewhere at some point, but he’s not so sure anymore that he didn’t just dream about fixing the place up with his best friend

What deity, if any, does your character worship? What’s their opinion on other people’s worship?

he doesn’t have a god he actively worships, but he’s peripherally aware of the god in the mountains that’s responsible for some of the most brutal storms in the region. he doesn’t care much about religion but hes got the same amount of concern most people would have about evil deities and what their followers do

If your character had time to pick up any artisan’s tools, game set, instrument, etc., what would it be?

probably woodworking! its handy, it’s useful for living out in the country where you have to either make the tools or furniture or fun items to put on a shelf you want, or go out of your way and also spend money to get them. maybe an actual alchemy set and/or poison kit but 1) playing with poison just a fun hobby for him and Xan to get into when they have the time and the plants for it, and 2) man he wouldnt follow the instruction manual anyway so whats the point

What aspect of your character’s future are they most curious about? (If they could know one thing about the future, what would it be?)

will his friends be okay? will he be okay? is there an FAQ for tieflings learning that they’re much closer to fiend lineage than they originally thought? that would be convenient and helpful. is john gonna figure out more about the little men named ‘adam’ that’re allegedly everywhere?  if he could know one thing about the future, he’d like to know if everything will end out okay. if things will turn out as nice as he’d like them to.

What colors are associated with your character?

looks at the camera like im on the office

blue, white, and black are the big ones but im trying to pepper in a few other colors. reds and yellows are a close second

Who in the party would your character prioritize rescuing, in dire circumstances?

everyone sits squarely in the #1 spot on the rescue list

that aside john and roman are extremely high priority, they’re not the sturdiest and if something looked at them too hard they might keel over. baster and xan come next, he knows baster’s a shit brick house but he keeps seeing bad things happen to her and really hes just had Enough of it. eli’s a little lower priority because they can heal themselves if they’re in a tight spot, and then blu considers himself least concern. he knows he can get thrashed around some and still survive, he’d rather take a beating and know he’ll walk out of it than let someone else take it and wind up dead

Is your character the most swayed by ethos, pathos, or logos?

pathos, it’s easy to make him feel for u. legit any of them work though as long as you talk it up good enough he’ll believe you and if there aren’t any glaring conflicts between what you’re selling him and his base morals then it’s relatively easy to get him on board

If your character was granted a single use of Wish, what would they use it for?

idk probably something really simple that he put all of .5 of a second of thought into. hes not smart and doesnt have good foresight so he’d probably ask for a frog or smth unless there was something very much more pressing and present

What is your character’s favorite spell? If they don’t use spells: what is their favorite personal weapon/combat maneuver/skill/etc.?

favorite(?) spell is life transference. it hurts a bit but it keeps his friends safe so it’s worth it. invisibility is up there too, its fun and easy to steal from stores when ur not visible

How does your character feel about keeping secrets from the rest of the party?

he doesn’t like lying and also lies really poorly. he’s usually just honest from the get-go, its easier and feels better. if he has to lie its through omission, bold faced lies really just dont work

What type of creature in the world is your character the most intrigued by?

all sorts....bro the world is full of animals and lots of them like to be pet

When they were a child, what did your character want to be, or think they were going to be, when they grew up?

he thought he’d grow up and be a farmer like his mom, the adventuring thing was extremely unplanned and impromptu. he hoped he could be a kind and brave person though, the way Canna described his dad.

The player character to your left admits that they’re passionately in love with your character. How would your character respond?

random roll says it’s Roman, he’d probably laugh because the only reason that would happen is because the party is fooling around with potions again. Roman’s very married and very in love with his husband and makes sure everyone knows it all the time

If somebody (an NPC, someone from their backstory, etc.) your character trusts/loves asked your character to do something against the party’s best interest, who would they side with?

that doesn’t seem like a very viable circumstance, the only npc thats important enough that he’d listen to for something like that is his mom and she actively encourages him to take care of himself and his friends, and lets him make his own decisions about what he’s doing with his life, so

What unusual talents does your character possess?

idk if its all that unusual of a talent but he got really good at stealing and pickpocketing and he can do a sick flip. also does some black magic sometimes

What does your character’s name represent to them? (Or: why as a player did you choose your character’s name?)

it’s his name, u kno. bluebell is his middle name, but Canna called him bluebell growing up and he latched onto it a lot more than arden, and he thinks its a nice name, and a nice flower, and it sure would be nice if people would stop laughing when he introduces himself as “Blu”,

(blu was originally a stand-in name until i named him something else but it really grew on me and it fit him so! it didnt change, he just got other names too)

What major arcana tarot card best represents your character?

The Moon. 👀

What is your character’s relationship with magic? Are they scared of it, wish to know more about it, indifferent to it?

he’s def scared of magic sometimes, especially his own. he also really wants to understand it better though, and be less scared, or at least control it better. imo it’s a healthy fear, theres been lots of magic mishaps 

How did your character learn the languages that they speak?

he learned common and infernal from mom! and he’s learning draconic from xan. it’s a nice downtime activity, sit down with ur best friend and homie and learn a new language just for fun

[ameftowriter]

5738 A.D. 4,1 (Dr. Stone fanfic)

The first Dr. Stone fanfic I’ve written so far. I gotta say I wrote this so quickly and so fast last night while still giving out candy to kids XD. 

Spoiler warning on the cellphone arc though.

Also this is exactly, 3719 words. Cookies to the one who gets it XD

Anyway, I hope you all like it and enjoy!

Gen was still having a hard time taking everything in. Was it really the year 5739? The mentalist just couldn’t wrap his head around it. On top of it all, those statues. So many statues. They were people, turned to stone.

He had realized that something terrible has happened and it affected every human being on earth. 

He was affected too, considering the position he woke up from. He remembered that he had just finished his act. Hearing the cheers and applause from a delighted audience, that’s when everything went dark.

And the next thing he knew was a bright light, facing an open ocean.

He wondered if this was a prank, he’s seen a lot of celebrity prank shows, to be a victim of that disgusted him. He was a mentalist, being subjected to a prank like this defies his very image. 

That is until he heard a deep commanding voice from the background.

“Welcome to the year 5739 AD”

He felt cold sweat drip off his currently naked body. He turned to recognize the man who broke him out of the dark stone prison. It was Shishio Tsukasa… the strongest primate high schooler.

He was then given some clothes to wear, made by their resident tailor named Yuzuriha. He didn’t know who she was, but was grateful for her.

It was… clothes he supposes. It was a tunic of sorts that reached up to his knees. Made of animal skin. He wanted to ask for a T-Shirt and Jeans. Then again… if it really was year 5739, and everyone was petrified…

He nearly stumbled on a statue lying around. He gained back his footing and turned to see what tripped him. His eyes widened to see that it was his manager. 

Memories of the man flooded his head. When he first started, he would try to use him, booking his shows back to back, expecting him to nearly give up his own education and even family life for his acts.  He tried to milk so much money from his acts, Gen was sure it was borderline illegal. But eventually he found a weakness to the man and he became an easy target for Gen’s manipulation. Sometimes he used him as a guinea pig for any new acts he had thought of. He nearly had him prance around the streets naked once as a form of revenge.

But if it wasn’t for him, he wouldn’t have become this popular and famous…

He wouldn’t have had the money to…

Tsukasa shattered the manager’s head beneath his feet.

Gen nearly jumped back at the sudden destruction in front of him.

“I apologize for startling you.” Tsukasa spoke up, “I remember this man once, he was your manager yes?”

Gen could only nod.

“He tried to charm me to having you and I do more shows together, he treated us as if were freaks in a carnival. I cannot stand adults like that…”

It didn’t take a mentalist, to know how every word he spoke dripped of hatred and loathing. Gen looked at the remains of the destroyed statue, and felt his stomach churn.

He hated his manager yes, but…

For someone to just mercilessly destroy that…

They had arrived at the Empire of Might as Tsukasa had called it. Gen could only look at it with awe as he saw various forms of treehouses and caves made out of gigantic tree trunks. But most of all, he saw that almost every man and even women around him were muscular and looked like they would be able to carry him like he was a feather.

Then Gen met the said tailor, Yuzuriha, and the big oaf that he was pretty sure that he was her boyfriend, Taiju. 

Gen thanked her for the clothes. But wonders if he could ask her for something more… sophisticated. Something that suits his style.

Tsukasa agreed, he saw Gen as a valuable member of the Empire, but he also needed him for a mission. 

Yuzuriha agreed to do it without any questions asked.

Gen missed paper and pencil or any kind of writing instruments. But it seemed that the girl understood his directions. 

While they waited for his new outfit, Tsukasa began explaining to him about a certain “miracle fluid” that had broken him out of the petrified state.

That peaked his interest, not that he would show it.

As Tsukasa brought him to a cave and along a few other muscular men with him, Gen brushed his fingers against a tree without realizing it.

Thats where he felt it.

He knew tree bark was rough and could hurt depending on the tree, but  it felt weird to him. To him it was like… like… Something was engraved into the tree.

He moved his hand away and saw a carving into the tree he held on.

A.D.

5738 

4, 1

“Fifty-seven, thirty-eight… Four, One…” Gen read the engraving. “5738, 4, 1…”

It was like everything he had known right now had changed.

He wondered how… how would Tsukasa be able to determine the current year. Was it even really year 5739?

But this engraving shows it. 5738… It’s been a year since the engraving was written in the tree. April 1st… How did the writer knew of the exact date even…

“5738… April 1st…” Gen repeated himself, “H-How…. How did… How could someone…?”

“No…” Gen gathered his thoughts, “Someone… someone must have carved this after breaking out… They had to. But… How would… would they know the exact date…”

“Is it even possible…?!”

He read again the crude kanji and the numbers written on the tree. It was clearly there. It wasn’t some sort of hallucination… It was actually written there…

“This… this is…” Gen shuddered in excitement at the realization of someone like that existed, and broke out first, “This is too antastic-fay! Whoever did this… Must be…”

Then his thoughts were interrupted by Tsukasa calling him to the cave.

Gen quickly dashed inside. To see Tsukasa standing in front of a pile of… bat guano. Gen’s nose scrunched up at the awful smell and saw yellow liquid dripping down from the cave’s ceiling, to a clay bowl.

He quickly deduced it as a so called “miracle fluid” that Tsukasa had mentioned. But when he read Tsukasa’s expression, he felt there was more… than just that fluid…

That night, he couldn’t stop thinking about that engraving.

5738 A.D. April 1.

He wondered who could even do that. In that darkness. For almost 4000 years, calculated the year, month and date. The exact date?!

He thought of possibilities. He knew you can tell how old a tree is by cutting it and counting the number of rings… But that would have been a gigantic tree. He considered the number of natural disasters that could have destroyed it way before the next millenia… So he scratched out that idea. He thought maybe some sort of machine that could tell the time survived, but he hasn’t seen a sign of any kind of civilization, let alone a machine that could tell the time. His thoughts wandered of any kind of sci-fi theory he’s seen. But just like before, he saw nothing…

Nothing from the year 2019.

Gen curled up onto his sheets. It has hit him again, the realization that there was nothing left from the year he knew. No buildings, no cars… no cola even…

He felt the sudden urge for a bottle.

As he realized he couldn’t sleep he stepped outside of his living quarters and saw the stars in the sky. It was numerous, more than he could ever count.

Count…

That’s when he thought of something… a completely etched-fay possibility…

Yes, there was no machine or anything that could tell the time, but the fact remained that time still moved forward, no matter what…

It was something insane. Something that no human being should be able to do, but it was possible…

He had heard rumours of a kid who counted the exact seconds within a month, and he had counted it exactly.

“To count the passing seconds…” Gen thought to himself, “To do that during all that time in the darkness…”

Many feelings he suddenly felt for this mystery counter. Excitement, pity, delight, fear… In order to do that, he would have had to remain conscious all that time… Gen eventually felt nothing and his mind went completely blank after a while. When Tsukasa revived him, he thought everything before was just a dream… a long 3720 year dream…

He had to find them… he had to find the person who could have done this feat… He had to know. He had to know this person. He had to pick him apart and understand his own way of thinking. He had to analyze everything about him. He had to know how and why would he do such a ridiculous yet logical thing.

He hadn’t felt this eager in knowing a person he hasn’t even met.

The rest of that night spent thinking about this person. He smiled at the thought of someone else being this unique.

It was like… to him it was like getting excited over a book he had heard only good reviews about.

Yes he was skeptical, but the thought of someone like this.

It got him excited.

Yuzuriha finished his new outfit the next day, he was very grateful for her. Especially after hearing the fact that she spent all night with it. Gen felt a bit bad for her, until he heard her voice crack just a little…

Gen did not have supersonic hearing, but as a mentalist, he taught himself to pay attention to people’s subtle noises. He wonders if Yuzuriha is lying to him.

He tried the new outfit on, and it fits him just right. He was definitely impressed with her.

Tsukasa called for him after he had finished his new outfit.

He was given a mission…

“Those dusty old fossils who used to be in power…” Tsukasa began as he led Gen to a path in the forest, “Are even less necessary in this natural world of stone…”

Gen didn’t hear a hint of hesitation from those words. In fact to him Tsukasa spoke of his ideals in such great confidence and conviction, that the mentalist felt a bit swayed by those. Especially when he said…

“But I see a massive amount of potential in you… Gen.”

Gen felt himself snap out of that trance. He knew Tsukasa had a lot of natural charisma, but even he as a master of minds, felt like he was grabbed instantly and quickly, as if he got there by himself. He cursed himself mentally, as he remembered how Tsukasa crushed the statue of his manager. And all of the other pieces of statues he has seen scattered everywhere.

“There’s something I need you for…” Gen’s attention was grabbed again as Tsukasa cleared some branches to reveal a treehouse, made by… concrete? He wondered. “And your skills as a mentalist will be invaluable…”

Gen saw on the side a few empty jars, crude makeshift spears… he was surprised that even the ladder that leads up to the treehouse was still sturdy. To him it looked like it was all abandoned. 

But that wasn’t where they went, rather, Tsukasa led him to a hut near the tree house. It had a worn out sign that said, “Laboratory”.

Tsukasa led him inside and the mentalist saw broken clay pots everywhere. He watched his step, as he moved in closer to see more and more broken pieces scattered everywhere. To him it was an obvious sign that whoever lived here scrambled to take everything and left. To the untrained eye that is.

Gen saw this was too intentional. It was too much of a mess for him. He thought maybe a scuffle, but that would have caused those shelves to fall apart. To him, it is as if the previous occupants just intentionally took those jars and smashed them.

“Follow them for me.” Tsukasa gave him his mission, Gen’s deductions were right, “And get inside of their minds… Perhaps I’m being overly cautious, but I want you to track down this man Senku and tell me if he’s dead or hiding out somewhere…

Senku…

And there it is the name of the person he was looking for.

‘Senku…’ Gen thought to himself. He tried to think of anyone he knew by that name, none came to mind.

So he asked, “Who is Senku?”

“He, was the first of us to revive…” Tsukasa replied.

‘First? Don’t tell me…’

“He used his knowledge of science to create a formula to undo the petrification.” he continued as Gen took in this invaluable information, “That’s how he revived me…”

Gen couldn’t hide his surprise anymore.

‘This Senku person… revived Tsukasa? He created a formula to undo the petrification?’ 

“This man…” Tsukasa continued as Gen felt the man’s voice grew bitter, “His only desire is to revive everyone, no matter who they were…”

‘What? He… what?’

“He’ll bring back the same people who ruined our world…. And they’ll make weapons…” Gen felt every word laced with pure hatred.

“He was the most intelligent man alive, and that’s why I killed him myself…”

He saw Tsukasa’s eyes narrowed as he finished his sentence. Gen held back even his own expressions, but to hear that from Tsukasa’s mouth, he finally understood.

He finally understood what he had to do.

Gen enjoyed it. He enjoyed experimenting and toying with the human mind and the limitless possibilities of the human psyche. He mostly used it for his own benefit and gain, but that’s what the world, the previous world, taught him. To him adults were easy picking, even more so than teenagers and children. He knew as one grows older, the ideals and beliefs, and biases a person has learned will stick longer and thus harder to change or remove. Gen knew of this and exploited it to his heart’s content.

He asked Tsukasa if he could stay a bit more to inspect the area. The man let him, and asked if he knew the way back.

Gen knew the way back.

When he realized that he was finally alone, he quickly observed the area. He looked at the pieces of the broken jars, the stains on the floor and at the walls, he saw the various broken tools nearby. He then rushed into the tree house and saw the same mess as the lab. Gen saw this as a laughable way to make it look like they got scared and escaped. 

He saw Tsukasa’s expressions, the hatred in his words… Tsukasa was scared. Very scared. He only knew of Tsukasa as a fearless man who would stare down other fighters bigger and stronger than he was, and took them down easily. For someone to induce such paranoia and fear in him…

He has to know. He has to know who this Senku person is.

He just has to!

After gathering what he can from the area, he went back to the Empire. He gave Tsukasa what he could deduce in the area, and said that he probably dashed at around southeast to where the Empire was.

Tsukasa in turn gave him more information that was more valuable than even he thought.

Gen was right it was southeast to where they were, Hakone (or it would have used to be considering the lack of any buildings). He was also told of a blond haired, blue eyed girl that seemed to have no knowledge of science and had a very primitive way of thinking,.He was shocked to hear that there is a possibility of a village of primitives in that area, and that Senku might have made contact with them if that was the case. So now he had a destination in mind.

Hakone. Around a two day walk from where they were now. Gen didn’t particularly like the idea of walking so far and so long, but his desire to meet this Senku was what pushed him further.

Before he left, he asked Yuzuriha for some extra materials and a cutting tool.

His journey was long and painful, especially since he didn’t wear any shoes. Along the way he picked up many nightshade flowers and stored them into various hidden sacks underneath his clothes. He even found many berries and even some small animals he could use to make fake blood bags for his own protection, just in case everything went downhill for him. He knew when to expect the worst. After all, he made a living from expecting the worst in people and exploiting it.

His journey took way longer than two days. He was exhausted, yes, but every step further was one step closer to meeting this Senku. He thought it was worth it. 

From what he knew about the positions of his shadows, he had deduced it was around noon. He walked further and further through the forest, and that’s when he heard something, music. He heard music playing nearby, he walked closer to the source, and saw it, clear as day. A village, built on two small peninsulas connected by a bridge, and in front of it was…

Well to his surprise. It was a ramen stand.

Gen approached the stand closer then was quickly given a bowl of said ramen by a child wearing a melon mask over her head. He thought it was kind of cute.

He felt a pang of hunger as he took a whiff of the bowl on his hands. It was a crude version of ramen that he knew, but well, he supposed it was still ramen. So he took a bite.

Gen nearly gagged from the taste.

He remained very quiet despite the complete awfulness the dish had. He couldn’t even call this ramen. He heard this was foxtail millet ramen.

Once again he nearly gagged at the thought of foxtail. Foxtail, was what the noodles were made out of. He could feel the grainy texture and the bitter aftertaste of the ramen. 

It was ositive-pay awful!

But he heard nothing but praises for this dish. Gen peered to see other people wearing similar clothes like the one the melon girl wore. It looked like they were almost inhaling the ramen. It was a complete consensus that it was the best thing they’ve ever had.

That’s one other thing that hits Gen.

He sighs and misses something way more than ramen right now.

One of them quickly asked for seconds and Gen sighed and realized with the stereotypical glutton man. He supposed that in any kind of era there’s always a glutton.

Then his attention quickly changed when he saw the man at the stand itself, putting the ramen together.

His hair stood out the most, literally. Even at the year 2019, he would have easily stood out. He wondered if it’s dyed or if he used any hair products. Almost every bit of his hair stood upwards defying gravity. To Gen he looked like a walking giant leek or bok choy. Then when he turned sideways, that’s when Gen finally saw his face. He looked sweaty and tired, but his face is full of eagerness and pride, that admittingly seemed contagious. The most noticeable features were the two jagged scars that lined and bent up from his forehead down to this eye line and just below the eyelid. The Mentalist instinctively touched his own scar.

He remembered the explanation Tsukasa gave him. That these scars are just a side effect of the depetrification process.

Gen remembered the day when he saw his reflection at the river and saw the scar running underneath his left eyelid, where it turned to shape his mouth then went straight down his chain and his neck. To him this was a reminder that he was petrified and awakened. Which meant, this man was…

“Are you the man who made this incredible food?” He heard a young girl approach the man with such eagerness and obvious intent of flirting, “the one called, Senku?”

Senku…

This green haired, prideful, obviously exhausted guy…

Is Senku?

Gen tried hard to cover his laughter. This was the man that Tsukasa, the strongest primate high school, was scared about? He looked physically weak. Everything about him was so lanky and skinny. It completed the giant walking vegetable set. Big green leaves and a nimble easily breakable stem.

He was….

‘This was the man who wrote that date on the tree isn’t it?’

He saw a familiar equation written on Senku’s outfit.

E=mc2

'Yeah… definitely the science nerd around here.’ Gen chuckled internally, 'Who the hell writes that on their own clothes?!’

When the girl asked Senku what kind of girls he liked Senku simply answered this:

“A kind that would pump a ton of oxygen into my furnace”

Gen groaned internally at that answer

'And he’s uninterested at romance. Like he’s some sort of a Shonen protagonist…’

The blond villager girl whom Gen deduced as quite strong, and possibly the girl that Tsukasa ran into before, even expressed her displeasure at that answer. He wonders if she had some feelings for this Senku person.

The Mentalist admits that Senku is quite handsome. It was a shame to him that he isn’t interested in romance. He would have loved to have gotten closer to him. But he supposed that he still has a job to do. 

Well to everyone in the Empire of Might it was his job.

To Gen….

It was some assurance.

If this Senku is what he thought he was, that this Senku is the man that striked fear into Tsukasa’s heart.

This handsome, nerdy, passionate man…

Might be the counter he was looking for.

Better strike while the iron’s hot….

“Ah… this ramen is making me wickedly thirsty…” Gen admitted to himself, out loud for everyone else to hear. “A cola, would be great…”

And with that, Gen had Senku’s undivided attention. 

The Mentalist then went to work, fully analyzing this Senku to his heart’s content. 

Little that he knew what would happen later that within the past 3700+ years of his life, would change for the better.

'This is worth it…’

[zoidham]

F!!RE - Devoted to Black Fashion & Lifestyle

ARTicle One:

Introduction. 

On Black Masculinity in Fashion

“Masculinity is not measured by your bicep size or sexual prowess but is a quality that is characterized by being affectionate, sincere, and responsible.” - Juwanza Kunjufu 

Hey Now kinfolk, I am Zoid Hæm, and in these personal letters I will be reflecting on the Black Lifestyle as it pertains to #Fashion, #Soul, and #Art. I have chosen the name F!!RE for this experience to pay homage to the young black artists of the Harlem Renaissance who shocked the world with a scathing peek into the mind of young and free black folks with their one issue magazine simply called Fire!!.(Source): https://bit.ly/2GwIIY0

Blackness, in its constant evolution is of my greatest interest, for as Arthur Jafa (@anamibia) said in his interview for I-D magazine with Virgil Abloh “…blackness isn’t just relevant to black people. It’s an ontological formation thats seeking to understand the world. It’s about the possibility for a different way to occupy earth, to exist in it. (Source): https://bit.ly/2m3ygzn

So here I sit at this cross section of fashion and soul, asking myself what does my external experience tell me about my inner world? And since the former spews out of the latter I see a fluid evolution spiraling up, beckoning at the fringe of our reality like an avant-garde symbol, hated and misunderstood like all mysteries shrouded in blackness. Excitement billows out of me, as my existence becomes a thorough definition of the contradictions in my black consciousness; like vines, unconfined by the square bricks of this society, I sprawl out, creating branches, bridges, and underground railroads, breaking out of learned labels and ushering a new wave. A wave filled with bubbles that when they touch, combine and crash on this countries shores of Thought, making us all the more unique and free.

“Cultivate your Uniqueness.” 

Free Hugs and Painted Nails:

Today's letter focuses in on black masculinity through the lens of fashion. It must have been the summer of 2011 when I sported boastful yet crude painted nails, and a small white button that said “Free Hugs". My body type was bulky, aggressive, and shouted, “Angry black man!" I had just finished my career in football, thankfully, and found myself hustling in the streets of New York City, as green as a rose stem among the grey concrete jungle, who's edifices and faces made me feel small, innocent, and utterly naive. 

Yet in this place I began to shift my image, first my thoughts, by asking any and all types why they are who they are. Mind you as the son of two preachers who never went to a house party or drank till college, even with my years at university there was still so much I didn’t know; but what I found is that when I approached folk they were always very guarded and unsure. I always blamed racist propaganda for their hesitancy but then I began to think more about what my image was saying to them. To them and this society my look gave off certain triggers in them, and by them I mean all types from old, young, white, black, brown, men, women, LGBTQ, CEO, or homeless. Few if any paid me any mind, or quickly gave glance and turned the other way. 

Haha a hilarious anecdote that actually made me change my entire “costume” was that one day, walking out by Central Park I saw the actor Michael Cera! Yep, Mr. Superbad himself, I was such a big fan I blurted out as we came close to each other “Holy crap! It’s Michael Cera!” Haha and true to form, with a hilarious face and mannerisms he looked up, eyes widened, and immediately turned around, and scampered the opposite direction down the street. I was a little hurt and shocked, but still laughed. It was at this point I was like YO! What do they see?

I went home, a 6 floor walk up in Chinatown, and looked in the mirror and began to take some notes. Broad chest, big beard, long locs, rather run-of-the-mill black man, how boring! I knew inside me was something that defied all definition, that I was a spirit teeming with affection and love for my fellow humans and wanted to be able to sit and express with them. But what I typically was receiving was the energy of dismissal and guardedness. I had known this well from black women at university who used me as a whipping boy to take their frustrations out on all black men, while I received, in screaming opposition from white women, so much attention it felt disingenuous, for them any n!gga would do; but now this was pervasive… I realized that my presence scared people, and that they weren’t actually seeing the REAL me.

I paced in my small apartment unit, thumbing a small button in the jacket I just bought, mentally drawing up how I wanted to present myself. “Alright first we need to lose this weight, so we can fit into all these cool clothes, but also fit better in these rooms of artists and intellects, and then lets keep the beard and hair nappy, edge is important, but lets dress in chic cheap fashion, cuz we are super broke and are only going to be able to afford the thrift store…” As I was thinking I pulled out the button from my pocket and read what it said “Free Hugs” almost unconsciously I pinned it to my jacket and didn’t think much of it.

The next day was Friday and I typically made my way to the museums since they were free. I bought a bottle of FireFly ice tea vodka and headed to my friends pad down by wall street so we all could get faded and go see some art. As I was walking down the street, I saw faces smiling at me, and so I smiled back, not used to New Yorkers showing any emotion besides anger I was a little surprised but kept pushing. After hopping off the train, I turned the corner and a short portly jewish women threw  her arms up and said “Yes I need one today!” And gave me a big long hug. I just stood there shocked by this stranger squeezing me, like I was her grandson, but before the hug was over I retuned the energy. She smiled and walked on by. As she left I looked at my reflection in one of the wall street buildings and saw that I still had the “Free Hugs” button on my jacket, and smiled thinking, how bout that! A free hug trumps propaganda, age, fear, race, etc.  all they needed was the permission to show affection. 

Fast foward to half the bottle gone, and a small loft full of young, gifted and black artist, all dancing and singing to a Stevie Wonder record. I had painted a haggard green sweat shirt with the word Free Hugs in big red letters and donned it as I joined the harmonious voices that filled the room with the joy of a Friday afternoon. I went over to the kitchen to fill my glass, when I realized I had gotten some paint on my nails, and began to peel it off when my crush at that time, a stunning orange afro having queen said, "Naw leave it! In fact here!” She came over with some nail polish and painted quick little designs on my nails in green, red, and yellow. My first reaction was wait I can’t wear nail polish, but when I looked at my hands I became enamored, my how strange and unique, these dainty hands on a Rasta brute! This was just the right amount of contradiction and juxtaposition of strength and vulnerability I was looking for. Leave it to black women to bring a dream to reality.

And thats exactly what happened, when we hit the streets in that Friday sunset, New York finally saw me, and opened like the flowers in sunlight on the corner of Strawberry Fields. Over the next few months, my body slimmed, my smile grew, my nails where chipped and covered with color haphazardly, and hugs clung to my body like the tight fitting cheap fashion I found. But most importantly my thoughts began to change, because I was engaging with more people from all walks of life. I ask myself to this day, did the fashion open them up or me up? 

Fashion is metaphor touted as a mask, there to conceal or reveal our inner truth, and for me I found a unique edge to walk, one where I hold space with masculinity that only knows mixtape lyrics and football, as well as a space that spoke of Basquiat’s and Warhol’s, the fickleness of love in any gender or sexuality and the need for soul and romance. I am still the minority in most rooms I walk into, typically they don't know what to think of me, I hear little conversations in the corner, ”He must be gay, or bi, no no look he’s with ball players and gangsters, naw naw he has lots of girlfriends, yes yes hunny he can get it, but he curbed all of us and I’m fine so wats the deal, oh he’s different.”

Different… little do they know I’m just like them, expressing all that I am. Removing the labels and images and thoughts that society has forced upon me, left me blank a slate to be creative. Still I have much more to remove and redefine in this ocean of blackness that is my being. One can be masculine in a dress, one can be feminine in baggy jeans, lessen we forget #STONEWALL and what those activists fought for, the freedom of image. Culturally and generational things shift, the meaning we put behind garments and fabric is all made up, just like us; and no one need be ridiculed or shamed for making their fit…fit. So what are you wearing today? In any way, you look good on you.

Posivibes,

hæm

Credits:

Image one by @johnyu.co 

for Westword Artopia 2019  

[boojersey]

VIC DO ALL THE ASKS BC I LOVE U AND WANT U TO HAVE FUN

*SWEATS* AYE AYE CAPN

cw for like some common lgbt+ topics such as dysphoria violence discrimination etc just. tread carefully if u get triggered easily by bad lgbt experiences

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? -im a gay trans man and my pronouns are he/him but they/them is also acceptable!

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?-oh wow i originally thought i was a lesbian because i didnt even know what transgender was i just thought wishing i was a man meant i was butch and then i met my friend donnie in eighth grade who told me he was trans and it was kinda a huge slap in the face but with a sack of gay bricks? and i found out i dont like women through actually having sex with cis women and finally realizing it. really wasnt for me so now im just a gay man as opposed to queer as an umbrella term but i periodically refer to myself as such

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?-oh yea i literally was misgendered today i just kinda brush it off but it can be hard sometimes especially when people know im trans and do it

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?-i first told donnie about my gender, it was a thing where i went to bed the night i met him and was like  .. wait holy fuck and then the next day i was like BRO HOLY FUCK but sexuality? i dont really know???? it was so long ago it was honestly probably my group of friends on kik that i had in 2013 (u were included in that mister!!!!)

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?-im not actually fully out but the first time someone who was an adult knew about my trans-ness was what really set in for me the fact that i could come out one day; my friends mom referred to me as seance (and like. obviously she respected my gender she has a trans kid) but it was just super jarring bc no adult had known yet abt my identity in any way and as a result i was rlly glad it was nighttime in that car bc i cried almost immediately; the first time i came out on my Own was to my cousin and he laughed in my face so that was pretty damn awful and its kinda funny cuz the bastard is bi so u would think hed have been accepting but n0pe!

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?-im out to my friends now ! and the reception was generally positive bc i think i do an ok job at picking ppl to be around in terms of morals so there was little bad reception

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?-i hate when ppl ask if im gay as in for men or gay as in for women because im trans, i am a man so when i say im gay i feel like that should be easy enough to put 2 and 2 together but when they ask that i feel as if they still view me as a woman

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.-emo of the gods themselves it is absolute scene and emo vomit and i love it; its seriously hard for me to wear dresses and skirts without dysphoria and just general discomfort but i own a couple anyway bc theyre cute i just. never wear them

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?-my main thing at the moment is gerard/frank/grant morrison bc i love poly fics very dearly and gerard/bert because bert mccracken deserved better than gerawrds internalized homophobia lol

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?-makeup to me is an androgynous thing so i wear eyeshadow a lot and lipstick sometimes, eyeshadow is easier on my eyes than eyeliner bc im allergic to a lot of makeup thats on the heavier side so if i put on eyeliner my eyes will water and burn throughout the day but with eyeshadow im mostly ok; other opinion is that makeup on Anyone can be sexy as hell if they do it for fun and wear literally what they truly want and not just what they think is accepted or what they Should wear

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?-oh yeah my dysphoria is pretty debilitating if im gonna be honest; i used to have very little problems with it because my hold on reality was loose at best (before i was medicated to clarify) but now that i am almost completely Here my dysphoria is pretty bad and even just like. the knowledge that i have breasts is pretty awful; a few weeks ago i put on an outfit that i have to wear a victorias secret bra to fit properly in and just one look in the mirror had me sobbing and i had to change my clothes before i could leave the house and i havent worn a bra since because just the thought of showing off my chest makes this stark fuckin dread shoot through my veins but i also have dysphoria in regards to my voice that i discussed at my last trans therapy group meeting actually ; my voice has a tendency to bounce around my octave range so sometimes ill be like. excited then hear what i sound like. and ruin it for myself immediately u kno? im not even gonna talk about my dicksphoria bc thats just. awful. 

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?-ohhhhhhhh my god u know what? ive heard..so much .. that im gonna instead take this opportunity to mention my mother genuinely thinks dnd is satanic

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-the fact that were so strong. we are so fucking strong we deal with violence and opposition constantly and at staggering rates yet we stay strong and we continue loving through all of it, whether its in dark corners in secret or loudly in the streets we continue loving and do so with all of our beings because we know its our own truth and well gladly go to hell if it means we got to love on earth (not that everyone believes in hell or the idea that us gays go to hell but my point stands)

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-we have this audacity to create divide (to the fault of mostly cis white gay men thank u very much) when what we need to do is love each other because we are different but at the end of the day we all need to remain in tandem and as a family or we will never get to where we need to in terms of acceptance and that means being uplifting and protecting our trans sisters of color, our disabled lgbt members, our autistic lgbt members, our anything past cis white gay man because we all need recognition, we all need love, and to exclude any letters of lgbt is to tear ourselves down and set ourselves on fire

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?-no :((( no one would drive me in the past and i dont think ill have a way to get there this year either

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?-brian molko! my bisexual, androgynistically-inclined father who birthed me at the tender age of 16 when i found placebo

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?-ya theres been a few and i dont rlly like to talk abt my relationships with anyone unless theyre online relationships so im just gonna leave it at that

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?-pantomime by laura lam! its one of if not my favorite book to this day

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?-y a every damn day bitch ! example is when i was deadnamed by my psychiatrist while she knows full well what my name is the other day; another is the countless times i get called a lesbian ???? and when strict lesbians ask me out i get a very bad taste in my mouth (i understand full well that sexuality is fluid, these are lesbians that spit the ‘penis is gross blegh’ rhetoric)

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?-uh im just gonna say preacher bc its my favorite show altogether n cass is bi/pan/something similar

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?-@ble3dmagic is my boyfriend in crime (not rlly thats a joke) and @musicalsense​ is my sunburnt Brother

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?-queer! i also use f*ggot a lot when talking about myself and my friends that are ok with it

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?-i went to a drag show and it was so amazing and one of the first times i felt accepted in my own community that i cried

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?-well i identify as a man with no leaning towards womanhood or nonbinaryhood in any way, its just . man . but in terms of Expression i am quite androgynous bc i can rlly appreciate femininity (NOT the same as womanhood) and being a man to me means just that ive always wanted to grow up with that “gender role” like i always wish i was raised as a stereotypical parent would raise a son and ive always been more interested in stereotypically masculine things and people since i can even remember and i feel like puberty was just this unpreventable spiral into something i didnt want. i didnt want it at all . this is tmi but when i got my first period i cried my eyes out bc the idea of being called a Woman repulsed me so much and since i didnt even know that being trans was a concept i was just this scared puppy full of confusion and fear aimed at myself because all the stuff i heard i was supposed to be proud of the change but i wasnt i was so ashamed of it and the idea of being called a woman made me sick to my stomach and i just wish i could go back in time and hold myself and tell me itll be alright 

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?-absoLutely not i hate kids (and by that i mean i hate being around them and the culture that surrounds having children; i do not treat kids like shit and i do not act like hating children is a personality trait; i get migraines and usually the second a child starts screaming or crying i am on the floor of my brain writhing in dire pain and i have absolutely no desire to support another human life when frankly i cant even support myself; its also just not a lifestyle i want to live)

What identity advice would you give your younger self?-god so fucking much. so fucking much. so many things i wish i could say to myself

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?-i think if someone wants to adhere to them then hell yea go ahead just dont expect others to do it or try to tell other people its a Norm or something; theyre for the most part christian in nature so i dont have any desire to follow them myself, i want a relationship (if any) thats more of a coexistence if that makes sense, like. roommates plus dick

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?-i always used to anxiously chew on the idea that my chest dysphoria is just me holding disdain for the shape and size of my breasts but let me tell you. the second i put on my binder for the first time i immediately started crying because i was so overwhelmed by the fact that i was looking at something one step closer to myself and i know full well i am never going to have that doubt again. this week has been exponentially cathartic and therapeutic for me

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?-i want the cisheteros to know that nothing they learn about us is new. everything about us has been around for so so long but has been silenced and erased to the point where a lot of us dont even know many things about our rich and beautiful history

Why are proud to be lgbt+?-honestly? its hard for me to not just straight up say im not proud of my identity. its taken me years to stamp down the plain grieving toward my identity and wishing i could have the easier path but frankly? the fact that i am choosing this path of hardship and hell on earth just to be who i truly am i think speaks volumes of my pride in my identity at this point; further back in my archive by a few years my posts are littered with sentiments of bitterness wherein i stated that i hate being trans and not just cis but i like to think ive finished hating myself for my identity. i like to think im proud now. to ask me why is to ask too much of me, all i know now is that i am proud and thats enough for me right now.

[candyclan]

Coming out letter to my mom. (FTM) At the start of my transition, I wanted to go by a name that started with an “A”because my birthname did. All the rest of it is basically the same.

THE TRUTH:

I didn’t scream “I am a boy” at my parents. Honestly, my mother (specifically) controlled a lot of what I did, who I hung out with, and what I wore as a child. I believe she has/had an idea about what she wanted out of a daughter since I was born, and really just lived through me. I think she eventually had to give me room to make my own decisions, later in life. I didn’t come out until I was 16, although I had spent 6 months prior to even coming out thinking about my gender identity. I was extremely sheltered. I want you guys to know that I didn’t know what being transgender was until I was a freshman in high school and met my best friend (who is STILL MY BEST FRIEND TODAY) who identified as Non-binary gender fluid. I had never really met someone AFAB that lived to be anything other than female. With that came the knowledge that sometimes, men don’t necessarily have to have penises and I can wear whatever I’m comfortable with. I used to be religious in middle school (raised Christian) but I never found god. It never made sense to me how so many people can put their faith in other people’s ideas of what god is (the Bible) but not listen when their real CHILD comes to them and tells them that they feel uncomfortable in their gender identity. I also came out as bisexual in middle school, after meeting a girl I had a fancy for. To which my mother sobbed and cried and asked how she had failed as a parent. I remember loving pink, it was my favorite color. Pink, purple, blue. My top 3. Now it’s blue, pink, purple but basically the same. I had a pink room, loved hello kitty, let my mom curl my hair with little curlers at night so I could wake up and be somebody different the next day. My brother played with carebears and my Barbie dolls more than I did as a child. I remember a toy gun and handcuffs. I was fairly experimental as a child, I did: Girl Scouts, swimming, piano, soccer, ballet, cheerleading, and more honestly. I always got “boy” toys at McDonald’s (I mean cmon they’re cooler) I just was kinda everywhere. I feel like that’s easier for someone AFAB to be. My brother was harassed by my family for liking girly things but I was never shown that I couldn’t like stereotypical “boy things” by extended family. My mother however in the line at McDonalds I could never forget, turned and looked at me (baseball cap backwards tank top and shorts)and said “So, what?” “Are you batting for the other team” implying that because of the clothes I liked to wear I would be a lesbian. My mother (like I said, kinda controlling and extremely narcissistic) when I was allowed to cut my hair super short for the first time I was 16. Afterwards she has said things like: “but you’re so pretty how could you have cut your hair” “you looked so nice with long hair” I never felt akin to femininity. I was actually VERY uncomfortable with it. I hated being the “weaker” gender. I never wanted my nails painted. It was torture. I acted like makeup and and nail polish was torture, the hairbrush was my enemy. I used to just put my hair up in a low ponytail every day as I got older. I knew she’d never let me cut it all off. Basically, other than wanting to grow up strong and tough and not liking to be treated like a female, I was female. There were parts of being female I didn’t really have a problem with, and honestly that’s why I didn’t come out for so long. I wasn’t in a house or raised by people I knew would accept anything other than me being their “little girl” I was a daddies girl. So between my lack of understanding of where my feelings towards my gender roles were coming from, being encouraged by my family to be girly, not being exposed to gender diversity (or anything queer), and my controlling mother, I remained in the dark about who I was.

TRIGGER WARNING:::(abuse)::::: I was never close with my mother, and actually hated her growing up. To this day she is the most judge mental, self-centered woman I know. My father was funny, charismatic, and lost his shit sometimes. I like to say, 90% of the time he was amazing. We made jokes and could literally finish each other’s sentences. But honestly my father, 10% of the time was abusive. Most of my abuse in my life was covert (narcissistic abuse from my mother) and verbal/emotional/barely physical abuse from my father. He’s 6”3’ 350 lbs and very loud and scary, especially to a young child. He punched a hole in my wall, he threw a remote at a wall and shattered it to pieces, he threatened to kill my dog with a baseball bat in front of me. Which I swear to god he would have done if I wasn’t holding my dog, protecting him. These moments were few and far between, but they were riddled with insults and almost always left me with less than I started with. My father did spank my brother and I, and one time he clapped my brother so well that he left a purple hand mark on his butt. My mother told my father she’d take us away if that happened again. My father never left marks. He never had to, he was so big and would just get up in my face and scream at me. He made me feel helpless. Because he was invading my space I felt physically threatened, and he never actually had to touch me and leave bruises because that threat was already implied by invading my space. I was so young, but I always knew my family wasn’t right. Finally at 16, I stood up to my father for the first time. I didn’t care if he was bigger than me, I didn’t care if I would lose, I was willing to fight for me. Anyway, long story short the police were called because we were screaming at each other in front of his apartment building. I’m not going to say I didn’t fuck up as a teenager, but I never deserved the pressure and the abuse he was dishing out and had dished out my whole life. I knew that. I cut him out of my life just after turning 16, by then I had been questioning my identity. It became easier after leaving my father to fall into who I was. My father is FAIRLY religious and my mother claims to be but she never talks about god, she never prays, and now that my father and her are divorced I don’t think she’s been inside a church since. Losing my father was a lot, despite his abuse he and I were really close and had really similar personalities. The reality of abuse isn’t “well, now I see them as an abuser so now none of that good stuff is left it’s all tainted” I had to struggle with losing someone very important in my life at a young age, for myself.

Arguments against me being trans:

My family has been a bit divided in responding to me coming out. By now, it’s been about 4 years.

My mother and her side of the family are in denial. They don’t understand how I can’t be a “lesbian that just likes boy things”. They don’t use my name or pronouns.

My father, what little communication I have with him now, is bewildered. He and I had a discussion this past Christmas where I brought up what his abuse did to me mentally and he apologized but then tried to say “well what about your part in all of this” and said that I was hanging out with crazy depressed people, cutting myself, doing drugs, (I was smoking weed and I’ve tried acid like once piss off) and was sneaking out. Yeah. I did do all of that BUT GUESS WHAT. IM 20. I go where I wanna go. I fuck who I wanna fuck. I smoke what I want and guess what? It’s not any different from when I was 16 except now I don’t have parents up my ass telling me what to do. His argument basically was that I need to own up to what I did too and that fucking angered me. You don’t apologize and then go “well what about you” that’s not an apology. That’s deflection and honestly I don’t think I need to apologize because my parents were super controlling. I was just trying to do what I wanted and they didn’t like it. He and I have talked about me being trans and he pretty much thinks I’m certifiable. Doesn’t use my name or pronouns.

My brother: Ethan, my brother and I have always been close. He’s 17 now, and he had a different reaction to me being trans. Of all of my family he was the most receptive to my pleas of gender dysphoria and he suffers with anxiety so he gets stuff. But alas, after asking him if he’d call me by my name and pronouns (after 4 years of being out) he thinks that I am the one that has an issue with society. I told him I was starting T soon and he said: “Hrt won’t lessen all the things that come with being transgender. If you feel like doing hormones is the best for you then do it, but from a logical standpoint I think there just needs to be more thickening of skin” he claimes that if I try hard enough I could be fine living as female. Doesn’t use my name or pronouns.

None of my family supports me. None of my family understands. And none of them ever will. I have been out for four fucking years. I can’t tell you how frustrating family rejection can be. I have cried so much at the idea of not having a supportive family. I feel like I was ripped away from a beautiful life somewhere and thrust into this mess.

Honestly though, it doesn’t matter, the world keeps spinning and I keep finding people who love and accept me for who I truly am. I have made peace with my family’s lack of acceptance. It’s made me stronger and more compassionate towards others. Made me want to be better than them. I am actually going to start hormones soon, and on top of other fears I have, will be cutting my family out of my life. I can’t be 25 with a full beard and getting misgendered by my family. I can’t do it. They may feel like I’m going too far, that I don’t have to do this, but I do. I’m not doing this because I didn’t get too much attention as a kid or my mom favored my brother over me, I’m not doing this because it’s cool, I’m not doing this because I’m bored, I’m not doing this because I hate myself or anyone else. This is AFFIRMATION. Sometimes, cutting people who can’t see you for who your really are out of your life is affirming too.

Guys, girls, people, keep your head up. Things get better, I know. I thought life was never going to get better so I know that’s what it can feel like. But it does. Never ever let someone control your life or who you are. You’re beautiful/handsome/amazing! You deserve to be comfortable in your own skin and to love who you are. I am getting there, we all are.

Love,

Tanner M.

[butchdaydreams]

I'm going to ask you all the numbers questions again :)

Femme or butch?- I’m a butch who usually has a thing for femmes 

Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it- I’m not sure if I have a type or not, but I do know that I definitely have a thing for girls who wear glasses

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?- Plaid button ups because I dont like the way leather smells

Describe your style- In the winter I wear corduroy pants and sweaters and in the summer its almost exclusively cargo shorts and t-shirts

Describe your aesthetic- House plants and aquarium dates and rainbow sherbert made into a soda float using sprite and milk

Favorite article of clothing?- Either my glasses because they both make me super attractive and they are functional, or by gay stompin’ boots because I love how gay they make me feel

Favorite pair of shoes?- My stompin’ boots for sure

Current haircut?- Short but needs to be cut again because I’m starting to border on an early Justin Bieber style

Any haircut goals for the future? I just need to shave it off again and I’ll be good

Describe the best date you’ve been on- For our 6 month anniversary I took my ex to the art museum near where we lived, and then we went to dinner afterwards and I could tell that I made her feel very loved with what I did

Describe the worst date you’ve been on- I don’t think I’ve had a truly bad date

Single? Taken?- I think I’m single but its complicated 

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!- N/A I think

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?- I want her to care about me and to look at me like I mean something to her, I want her to let me do dumb things like make her blueberry pancakes on the weekends and cuddle me when we sleep, and I want her to let me love her with my whole heart

Describe your dream wedding- I want to get married in the traditional sense but in like a casual traditional sense if that makes sense

Do you want kids?- I do, I love kids but I would want to adopt or foster instead of having them myself

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?- I like it where I am, I love being near a city without being in one

Favorite lesbian movie?- But I’m A Cheerleader because every one of those girls were so attractive to me back in high school 

Favorite lesbian novel/story?- I haven’t found any good day books, if you have a recommendation then I’m all ears

Favorite lesbian song?- Stop Desire by Tegan and Sara

Favorite lesbian musician?- Hayley Kiyoko because I am predicable

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?- I’m a raging man hating dyke if you haven’t been able to tell

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?- No, I have the opposite problem where people think I am dating all of my friends just because we are both gay

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that?- I like the traditional and cheesy things, like I want to go on a date before I kiss someone or become their girlfriend and I like flowers and being taken on a date and I like being told nice things about myself and basically I am just a self absorbed cheese ball

Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?- Getting to date girls and ignore men is a definite perk

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?- I like both but dogs

Turn ons?- Praise, teasing, being told how to touch someone, being told that they want me to touch them, turning a girl into a mess, begging, edging and denial, overstimulation, and turning her on 

Turn offs?- Most bodily fluids like spit or blood or pee, and anything that is extremely violent 

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?- I used to wait but then I waited 20 years and nothing happened so I ask people out now

What is your dream career?- I am going to be a high school science teacher

Talk about your interests or hobbies!- My main interests revolve around video games and pokemon mostly

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?- Honesty and kindness

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?- It takes me a while to warm up but after I trust them then the flood gates are down and I am in love almost instantly 

Ever fallen for your best-friend?- Yes, I was in love with her for three years before she found out I was gay and now she wont speak to me 

Ever fallen for a straight girl?- Yes, too many to count

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)- I never got into it

Favorite comfort food?- I love chicken nuggets and mac and cheese and anything that brings back those feelings of being an innocent child

Coffee or tea?- Tea, I drink one (1) metric ton of tea each day

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?- None of the above

Do you have any pets?- Not at the moment, but at times I keep fish in my room

Early-riser or night-owl?- I used to be an early riser but have turned into a night owl and I’m trying to get back to how I was

What is your sign?- Aquarius

Can you drive?- I can, and not to be too much of a dyke but I also drive a stick shift

Who was your first lesbian crush?- The above straight best friend

At what age did you know you were a lesbian?- I think I knew in 7th grade but shoved it down until 10th grade when I decided that I was a bi person who was asexual, and then in 12th grade after going through about 12 other labels I now call myslef a lesbian

At what age did you come out (if you have)?- I came out to friends in my freshman year of college but my parents still dont know

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?- I am, and I know she likes me too so thats good I guess

Talk about how your day went- I woke up at 1:00 in the afternoon, which was 10 minutes before my 4 hour lab, I transplanted some genetically modified plants and separated some chloroplasts from their cells and finished an essay. Nothing too fun

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future- I dont know why, but I’m craving domestic things and blueberry pancakes at the moment

Least favorite gay celebrity?- Ellen DeGeneres