#ghosts bbc headcanons

[hot-thiggity-thighs]

My headcanons for what the BBC Ghosts would do today

I saw a post about how it is quite silly that Kitty of all people is the most interested in gore-related things but it got me thinking.

Kitty: I think she would be a medical student or perhaps a photographer of crime scenes.

Fanny: Obviously a professor of mathematics since we learned that she really enjoyed it.

The Captain: He seems like he would be a historian at a museum or at a historical site because he seems to be quite interested in history, more than other ghosts. He's a bird-watcher for fun.

Mary: Home-economics teacher.

Humphrey: He gives off the vibe of being a coffee shop barista who is also part of a improv group. "Mr. Cheese" anyone?

Robin: He is either a chess Grandmaster or is one of those forest rangers that live in the middle of some random national park. I couldn't decide; the man contains multitudes.

Thomas: A white rapper. He writes his own stuff, some of the bars he writes are really good, but a lot of it is just pretentious. Often promotes his music online. Had one good song and is riding on that high.

Pat: Other than a scoutmaster, I could envision him being a therapist for both children and adults since he has that helpful and kind nature.

Julian: Car salesman. yeah.

[little-cereal-draws]

If Ghosts had a more mature rating and was able to do more creepy ghost powers/death side effects:

Pat, Humphrey, and Thomas are eternally bleeding. Their clothes are wet, their hand gets wet from touching it, they'll leave trails of blood down the hall, etc. The blood on their hand or the floor disappears pretty quickly as their ghost powers make them reset but their clothes are always soaked

Thomas's whole stomach and the top of his pants are bloodstained. Pat's is all located on his shoulders/necktie and has the most obvious stains due to the color difference of his clothes. There are a few drops here and there down his sleeves and chest. It's pretty heavy because of the major arteries the neck that would've been punctured. Humphrey's is by fair the heaviest and is all over the front of his torso. Like the whole thing. When he died he fell face down into the growing puddle of blood that would've been pooling from his stump

Fanny can turn her head frighteningly far. There's a sick crunching sound that happens when she does this and it always sends shivers down Alison's spine even after years of hearing it. The other ghosts have joked and compared Fanny to an owl because of this and she chews them out every time

Pat coughs a lot because he's got blood stuck in his throat. He'll randomly have a huge coughing fit, cough a bunch of blood into his hand and then go "Oh no. Anyways..." He also has trouble breathing and has to take breaks to sit down during physical activities like dancing or running. It annoying but not too much of a hindrance to his daily life; it's like having asthma or allergies. The blood can make his voice sound a little weird sometimes too, like he's gurgling smth while he talks. He just clears his throat and keeps going

The plague ghosts vomit up bile every once in a while. It's black, steaming, and putrid but disappears almost instantly

Kitty also throws up when she's excited... which is a lot. She also gets chills, lightheadedness, fevers, and uncontrollable shaking. There's not much the other ghosts or Alison can do to help her besides sitting with her/trying to distract her. She'll lay down and try to breathe through it while Alison reads her a story or the Captain infodumps abt smth or Robin holds her hand. Sometimes she falls asleep, sometimes she doesn't. She's always better after a few hours tho

Fanny gets really bad migraines. Alison's theory is that they're caused by her broken vertebra. Fanny doesn't particularly care why they happen. When they happen, she's in an even worse mood than usual so it's best to steer clear of her. She doesn't have the energy to yell at ppl but will remember the slightest fault and wait until she's better to go on a lecture. Again, there's not much Alison or the other ghosts can do to help besides let her lay down and try to be quiet

Mary and Robin's skin peels off. It's white and flaky and leaves raw red spots underneath. The dead skin disappears once it leaves them but the skin underneath is never healthy and flakes off too

Both Robin and Mary smell like burning flesh but only Mary is detectable by living people. Robin only smells when he uses his powers. It really puts a lot of the ghosts off, especially newer ones

Robin's body also gets affected by his powers in other ways. If it's something small like flickering a light, his hair will stand on end. Something bigger like turning a light on/off or flickering a more powerful light will cause him to spasm. It's usually just his arms and wears off after a minute. Smth really big like redirecting that lightning bolt for Mike will be the equivalent of him actually getting hit w the lightning. His body seizes up, falls over unresponsive and twitching for several minutes, but he's always ok in the end. Alison and the other ghosts get very worried but he walks it off

Julian and the Captain both feel remnants of their heart attacks. Shortness of breath, tingling/numbness in the arms, dizziness, heart palpitations, etc. They both choose to keep it a secret from the others and cover it up but if they're particularly stressed abt smth, they'll start getting chest pains which is harder to cover up. The Captain has excused himself from many social situations to go sit on the floor and try to breathe through the pain and calm his heart. Robin's the only one who knows about Julian's because it happened once while they were hanging out. Logically, they both know they can't die again but it's still scary

Mary likes to sit in the lake because even tho she can't feel it like she would if she was alive, the cold water is soothing on her burns

All the ghosts have days where they just lay abt bc the pain is too much to move. From who does it the most to who does it the least it goes Mary, Humphrey, Pat, Fanny, Thomas, Kitty, Robin, the Captain, Julian

[masterofiodine]

bbc ghosts modern au!!

making up their outfits was really fun (especially kitty and thomas, he would look great in skirt)

[spineless-lobster]

“It’s odd to see a father so involved…”

Captain, captain sweetie, my love my darling my heart my pride and my joy, cap… be honest now, you have daddy issues, don’t you? No shame but like we all guessed from the start. He hated you and then sent you off to boarding school didn’t he? He was an army officer and you were pressured to follow in his footsteps weren’t you? It’s alright captain you can talk about it…

[moosedrawss]

Mary, in the style of Leyendecker

Specifically inspired by this painting:

Also partly inspired by that post pointing out that most of the fandom only creates stuff about the captain (sorry I can't remember who made that post and can't find it right now) so I thought I'd try drawing my favourite ghost, Mary

[its-a-hare-pom-pom]

There was once a time, young Ghosts fans, where any one of us could say William or Teddy and know exactly who we meant. That is an experience you young ones may never fully understand

[the-gayest-fungus]

some ghosts headcanons after the hotel/golf course is built:

Cap gets a crush on any vaguely put-together man with a decent golf swing.

Julian likes to make "swinging" jokes that go over the Captain's head.

Robin likes to chase and find stray golf balls that get lost. He and Julian update Alison on the number of golf balls in the lake every time she visits.

Robin also knows all the strategies for golf, having hyperfixated on it since the golfing company started working on the land.

Thomas gave up on paying attention to golf after finding out the aim is to get the least points.

There is a historic tour around the hotel and grounds, which gets a lots of facts slightly wrong. The first few times, the ghosts went on the tour and corrected everything. Since Alison couldn't prove most of their accounts to the tour guides, not much could be changed. The ghosts still insist the tour is bogus.

Fanny and Humphrey's portraits get professionally restored.

The hotel also hosts some art and sports groups. Robin was very excited when they started doing zumba regularly. Pat and the Captain like to watch cricket games in the summer. One time they tried to join in, but stopped as soon as one of them got stepped through.

Thomas and Kitty both like to watch cute couples who stay in the hotel, especially at dinner. One time they both end up watching the same couple for the evening. Thomas tried very hard to stop Kitty following them to their bedroom, but ended up joining her in spying on them. They don't talk about it.

Pat and the Captain go on a "double date" where they follow a pair of golfers on their anniversary. Pat starts by telling the Captain about the tactics being used (club type, angle, etc) but gets outshined by one of the golfers who clearly knows more.

[moonahsrobin]

[nortism]

What the Ghosts have been watching on TV

Everyone

Channel 4 Home renovation shows: They're free with ads and there's an infinite amount of them so Alison puts them on for the whole gang when she and Mike have work to do in same way people put on YouTube videos for their dogs. This has backfired slightly as all the ghosts now have very strong and conflicting opinions on how Button House should be renovated.

The Great British Bake-off: A whole family event, they all get very invested. Kitty thinks Alison Hammond is the funniest person in the world. The Captain feels normal about Noel Fielding. As well as a watching it live, I'm sure they've also watched the whole back catalogue together.

Mama Mia: This where the Captain learnt his ABBA songs from. Pat and Julian enjoy the nostalgic music and I think the others are just bewitched by the story and music

Robin

Anything David Attenborough: For obvious reasons. I think he'd get a kick out of trying to do his voice. The others sometimes join in.

Cunk on Earth/ Britain: I think they've got a similar attitude towards history and I think he'd find serious historians trying to answer silly questions incredibly funny

Horrible Histories: He watches this with Kitty, they both find poop jokes funny.

Humphrey

Antiques Roadshow: I'm not sure why. I honestly think he's just glad to watch anything.

Mary

Gardener's World: I think she misses being able to look after plants and I think she'd be endlessly fascinated by how hosepipes work.

Mio Mao: She loves them fucking plasticine cats. She will not stop singing the theme song

Honestly think she'll watch anything with anyone and would get invested, she seems like the ideal person to watch telly with.

Kitty

Ru Paul's Drag Race: I think they all watch this every so often but Kitty is invested. There's bright colours, fun outfits and drama, it's definitely Alison's go to when she needs Kitty distracted.

90s and 2000s romcoms: I believe that every couple of weeks Alison and Kitty have a "girl's night" where they watch all the romcoms that Alison used to watch with her mum, mostly because I love watching romcoms with my mum and Kitty deserves that. Kitty is particularly fond of Twilight.

Thomas:

Any Jane Austen adaptations: He watches them with Fanny as they were both big fans when they were alive (its the only thing they agree on). Kitty also joins sometimes. His favourite is the 1995 Pride and Prejudice tv show.

Fanny:

Grey's Anatomy: I haven't seen it but my mum's a big fan and there's millions of seasons, I think she'd pretend she's not that into it but she definitely is.

Call the Midwife: Same as above.

The Captain:

M*A*S*H: I've seen about half an episode of this but it seems to be about fit young men in a war so it sounds like his thing. Probably Pat's recommendation.

Our Flag Means Death: I think Alison has been trying to sneakily show Cap gay media under the pretence of saying "it's just a fun show about pirates". I think the whole gang watched it together. The Captain definitely didn't cry at the end of season 1 why would think that?

Pat

Taskmaster: I think this is one they all watch together but it's definitely one of Pat's favourites. He probably attempted to set up his own version of the show with the ghost which ended horribly.

Doctor Who: I think he watched the original run when he was alive and was absolutely ecstatic to find out they made more. Julian makes fun of him for it.

Julian

Have I Got News For You: Has been airing since 1990 so he definitely watched it while he was alive. I think he likes to keep up with current politics but not in a very serious way so this is his middle ground.

Succession: I haven't seen this show but it seems to be about horrible men in suits being horrible to each other which seems right up his alley.

The Thick of It: Speaking of horrible men in suits being horrible. I think he watches this with Robin who has absolutely no idea what's going on but just laughs when Julian does and they have the best time. Julian is constantly pausing to add his own anecdotes

What We Do In The Shadows: Alison put this on as a 'let's show the Captain it's ok to be gay' show and the Captain was immediately horrified so Julian adopted it. He identifies with Lazlo.

[happilyhadesbound]

i'm rewatching Ghosts and i just realised. Alison has never seen Jemima, has she?

hc where she somehow never sees her until she's like 83 at the hotel and just gets so confused. like how did this child die of the plague after they moved out.

[little-cereal-draws]

I think it’s interesting how many of the ghosts extend “you stay how you died” to their feelings/default state

Kitty: died excited and giddy abt the pineapple and the party. Spends her afterlife easily excitable, happy, and trying to insert herself into social situations (the more ppl the better)

Pat: died happily/confidently leading a Scouts activity. Spends his afterlife generally being more of a leader in the group, still creating clubs, and usually having a happy/laid back demeanor

Fanny: died after finding her husband having an affair and furiously confronting him abt it. Spends her afterlife finding faults in people, yelling, and is easily angered/offended

Thomas: died in a duel defending the honor of the woman he loved. Spends his afterlife obsessing over women, even in his dreams, and falling in love after minutes of meeting them

The captain: died trying to prove he was remarkable during the war while also keeping his sexuality a secret. Spends his afterlife repeatedly trying to prove his leadership skills and physical prowess while also being very secretive/defensive abt any personal information

Mary: died by being burned at the stake in a witch trial. Spends her afterlife being one of the more anxious/nervous ghosts, especially when it comes to religious topics or authority figures

Annie: died after getting in an argument with her husband and purposely ignoring what he said out of stubbornness/spite. Spends her afterlife picking fights w men and insulting ppl

I know these are just their personalities but I like to think that death heightened/emphasized it; it didn’t make anything new but expanded on what was already there. Idk abt Robin, humphrey, and Julian tho

[half-an-hour-hence]

Another headcanon I have is that Kitty was able to see the ghosts as a kid until she was about seven years old, and Robin was her ‘imaginary’ best friend. They would talk for hours at night, and run around the house playing hide and seek. Her sister would tease her about it, and so a combination of that and her ability to see Robin fading convinced her that it wasn’t real. But the day after she died she found Robin standing outside in the rain. They recognised each other immediately, and started giggling and jumping around, holding each other’s hands. They didn’t stop until the rain ceased that evening.

[glowinggreeneyes-e]

the captain watches so many documentaries and shows on tanks and ww2 because he’s a) autistic and b) hoping to see havers in some footage send tweet

[ghost-of-christmas-present]

Tada

[sparemintss]

Captain headcanon !

Because the Captain is almost always marching, his marches can be heard freaking guests and tourists of the button house hotel. The marching frequents in the hotel’s infamous Captain’s quarters.

[captainpangolin]

Headcanon that whenever Kitty gets upset and hides behind something, the Captain and/or Pat will recreate that scene from "Mamma Mia!" and start singing "Chiquitita" until she cheers up/joins in