#girl help how do i get people interested in gideon the ninth

[kate-apologist]

recommending tlt to people is like....it's the most sapphic piece of fiction i've ever read. it's full of memes. it'll punch you in the gut with sincerity. you won't understand the second book. the main couple haven't seen each other in two books. it's about grief. it's about love. it's about lesbian necromancers. it's disgusting. there's an erotic scene about regrowing an arm and it's amazing. god exists - he's just a guy. cows exhibit mourning behaviors for other cows.

[liesmyth]

locked tomb characters ranked by how cringe they are

because this post by @wifegideonnav reminded me that they’re all losers, but some are even more losers than the others

Hot Sauce: 1/10. This girl is cool in all possible ways and definitely future lead researcher material. No cringe, zero notes.

Pyrrha: 2/10. By far the least cringe of The Olds. Yes her nicknames for Nona have dad joke energy but she’s very earnest about it and it’s cute.

Juno Zeta: 2/10. Total MILF. Very smart and should know better than to get flirty with We Suffer, but I get it.

Marta Dyas: 3/10. A complete badass with a very sensible outlook on avoiding unnecessary forms. Call me Judith because I would also make a pass at her at the first possible chance.

Commander Wake: 3/10. She made Pyrrha fall in love with her, seduced ever-loyal G1deon into hatefucking and galvanized a dying resistance movement. She was genuinely nice to Gideon those 3 seconds they interacted in passing! Then she had to go and hide under the bed of a mentally ill teenager.

Dulcinea: 4/10. Her horniness for revenge is epic. Let down Pal as nicely as she could and managed to outwit Cytherea when it mattered. Not cringe at all.

Camilla: 4/10. Yes, she could kill you in seconds but she did once sell cigarettes, her most liquid asset, for about a third of their market value.

Alecto: 4/10. Scary eldritch woman-shaped creature with a sword, comes highly recommended by Pyrrha Dve. Loses points for confusing Middle English and thinking John was the best possible Sailor Earth when he was clearly the worst.

G1deon: 5/10. Utterly willing to burn for what he believes in. Yes, he probably needs some perspective but he made sure the baby had enough air before kicking Wake out of the airlock and Matthias Nonius thinks he’s an okay dude.

Pash: 5/10. She has that freedom fighter swag and the cool hair but she is a terrible bodyguard coasting on nepotism, sorry to say.

Palamedes: 6/10. He didn’t clock the serial killer pretending to be his ex because he was too busy going to painfully extreme lengths to avoid interacting with her.

Naberius: 6/10. My controversial opinion is that Babs is the least cringe of the Third House throuple. Yes he looks and acts like a peacock but he puts up with Corona snacking on him for no reason and is still nice to her, and gives Ianthe solid romantic advice.  

Nona: 6/10. Cringe in the unselfconscious way of a young teenager, and put this ability to use making Pal fess up to his nurse kink. She will never be cool but it’s part of her appeal.

Mercymorn: 7/10. Speaks in onomatopoeias. She knows she is insufferable so she’s gonna do her best to make sure to be the most insufferable person in every room. Once called John Gaius “the best man I who ever lived” to his smug face and not even blowing him up later makes up for that.

Ianthe: 7/10. Looks like a wet rat. Hopelessly dramatic but she pulls it off. Declares her love for Harrow at every turn in the most transparent possible way then pretends she’s just being snarky. Some cool points for actually getting shit done

Coronabeth: 7/10. Terrible taste in love interests. Her freedom fighter era was hot but she thinks pompadour hair is a good look? Also, the way she spent her whole life lying about necromancy speaks of extreme conflict avoidance. Cringe move.

Judith: 7/10. She deserved to suffer and has suffered more than she deserves. It’s cringe how she clings to her imperialist brainwashing but she gets a point for rightfully understanding she should be wary of Corona, something Ianthe still can’t even grasp.

Ortus: 7/10. Yes he quotes his own epic poetry WIP at people but he also had to grow up on the Ninth with nothing better to do. Genuinely a very nice guy.

Cytherea: 8/10. Her unhinged vibes are very hot but she killed a couple of nerds and two teenagers instead of anyone who was actually dangerous. Cringe of her!

Silas: 8/10. Smarmy cloud-looking motherfucker. He is a child Pope and I guess he can’t help the inherent cringe of the Eight. But that’s still no excuse for bringing a portrait of John all the way to Canaan House just to hang it in your bedroom, dude.

Gideon: 8/10. Babygirl is a horny virgin with the vocabulary of a nerd. Harrow is bones over tit in love with her and she fails to notice after living in Harrow’s brain for eight months. Gets points for managing to maintain impressive biceps on a diet with no protein.

Augustine: 9/10. Extremely cringe because of how hard he tries to pretend he’s not cringe. Cigarettes on a space station and effectively performing swag don’t make up for how much he clearly wants to suck John’s dick. Which he did at least twice.

Harrow: 10/10. Spent most of her life being mean to Gideon because she was too hot to deal with and lobotomized a coffee shop AU into existence. Thinks Ianthe Tridentarius is beautiful. Once built a bone cocoon to sleep in after not drinking water for two days. Should’ve told God months ago that she just didn’t want to eat his fucking biscuits and stop offering.

John: 10/10. Unfortunately, this scale only goes up to 10 but we all know it’s not enough. Deeply cringe in a myriad of ways, chiefly among them the way he inflicts his barely veiled incest kink on all his friends. That one dad joke was gold, though.

This was getting too long but for the record: Aiglamene is cool and so is Abigail Pent. Magnus is not cool but he’s a fun time. The Terrible Teens are exempt from judgement on account of being 14.

[sendme-2hell]

Rating the Books I read after Gideon the Ninth (in order) by how well they made me forget my Gideon the Ninth angst

I starred the ones that I actually recommend if you want something similar to gtn.

I was bored so I made this. Mostly just so I can look back at this and laugh at myself in a few months and remember what I’ve read. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -

**Harrow the Ninth -Tamsyn Muir 

Summary: A depressed girl has to navigate murder attempts by both the mom and the dad of her dead ex-girlfriend who she can’t remember. She tries to make soup and writes fanfic to cope. 

How well it helped me forget: -100/10 but also 10/10 

Rating explanation: This one gets a 10/10 because it did make me feel better about a *particular* GTN plotpoint which I was very angsty about, but tragically it did make me more feral. After reading it I reread both books so I don’t think it helped me forget my angst. 

Similar themes to GTN: all of it, plus more memes 

I Want to Be Where The Normal People Are - Rachel Bloom 

Summary: Rachel Bloom who wrote the world’s most relatable song: “You Stupid Bitch,” and starred/created in Crazy Ex Girlfriend, writes about having anxiety, feeling like she’s not normal, and Harry Potter fanfic.

How well it helped me forget: 8/10

Rating explanation: For a few minutes I actually did forget about my griddlehark angst while I learned more about Bloom’s life and laughed at the painful relatability of it all. 

Similar themes to TLT: ummm depression, feeling very out of place, memes

Fingersmith - Sarah Waters

Summary: The book The Handmaiden was based on. A girl is sent to become a Lady’s handmaiden to con her out of some money. She falls in love. Many plot twists. 

How well it helped me forget: 5/10

Rating explanation: I was sadly still thinking about TLT the whole time I read this. I liked it but I actually like the Handmaiden better because the women spend more time together. Like in this book, I wish that Harrow and Gideon could spend more time together. 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, at some point you realize the main character’s love interest understands what’s going on way more than the main character

Kindred - Octavia Butler 

Summary: Very dark book about slave narratives. I cannot make a joke here, but this book is excellent. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10 

Rating explanation: Again, I can’t make a joke. But Octavia Butler is amazing. 

Ash - Malinda Lo 

Summary: A wlw retelling of Cinderella with fairies and an emphasis on stories 

How well it helped me forget:7/10

Rating explanation: This was really quick and fun and I definitely was rooting for the lesbians. Also it was nice it had a happy ending! If you liked Crier’s War (which I did), this was clearly an influence for Nina Varela. 

Similar themes: wlw, the magic one + the fighting one dynamic

Station Eleven - Emily St. John Mandel

Summary: A deadly pandemic wipes out so many people that the world spins into chaos and no one can figure out how to use electricity apparently? But the book is really about fame and wanting to be remembered. Go figure.

How well it helped me forget: -10/10 

Rating explanation: Ok that’s not fair. It helped me forget about Gideon and Harrow but it did NOT help me forget about Corona. It was technically good and a lot of people I respect love it, but either because I was still thinking about TLT or because it was about a pandemic, I couldn’t really enjoy it. 

Similar themes: post-apocalyptic 

Red, White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston 

Summary: The Prince of England and The son of the president of the US are enemies. They are definitely enemies.

How well it helped me forget: 6/10

Rating explanation: This was such a fun read that it almost distracted me! Tragically I was in such TLT headspace that I kept pausing to read fanfics where Gideon and Harrow switch eyes. 

Similar themes: Enemies to lovers, queer

Troubling Love - Elena Ferrante 

Summary: In true Elena Ferrante fashion, an event spurs an Italian woman to do a lot of internal processing and have some flashbacks. 

How well it helped me forget: 7/10

Rating explanation: This book was a bit disturbing so it distracted me in that way. Plus I love Elena Ferrante’s writing so much that it felt like coming home to an old friend. Unfortunately for me, this is Elena Ferrante’s least queer book. I know because I have now read them all. Her most queer book, The Lying Life of Adults, would have distracted me better. Also just using this space to tell anyone who’s still reading this (probably no one) to go read My Brilliant Friend (and the corresponding Neopolitan Novels). They are not similar to TLT except they are vaguely queer and about competitive friendships where the girls are obsessed with each other in maybe an unhealthy way. Ok so a bit similar. Genuinely my favorite books ever. 

Similar themes: mommy issues, daddy issues, childhood trauma

On This Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous -Ocean Vuong

Summary: A Vietnamese immigrant reflects on his mother, grandmother, and his own life experience in the US. It is poetic and beautiful and will make you cry. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: This book is beautiful. It really changes how you think about the US. Plus really interesting stuff about the western way of telling stories. Cannot recommend it enough, though very little to do with TLT. 

Similar themes: queer, stuff about language, childhood trauma, you will cry

**The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon 

Summary: OK sorry none of those were good suggestions for what to read after GTN. THIS is what you should read after GTN. It is an incredibly slow burn wlw enemies to lovers. There are dragons, there is magic, there are very cool female characters who I am in love with. This is like Game of Thrones but if it was good, queer, and only one 800 page book. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: Enemies to lovers!!!! What more do I have to say? Also very cool world-building, interesting religious themes. 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, religious themes, magic, very old wizard milfs, also mlm

*The Traitor Baru Cormorant 

Summary: Baru is a very smart girl in a colonized island. She decides she will play the game of the colonizers, rise up in their society, and destroy them from within. How is that going, Baru? 

How well it helped me forget: 100/10

Rating explanation: This DID make me forget TLT. The only book to truly make me. It made me forget so badly that I wanted my Griddlehark angst BACK. GIVE ME IT BACK I don’t wanna feel sad about Baru anymore. I cannot recommend it more, it is so good, but it did make me ugly cry. It also made me majorly depressed about colonization and the state of the world. 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, ending will make you cry

*The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson 

Summary: Baru is depressed, has brain damage, throws up a lot, is sad about (redacted), does some things without remembering them because there’s something going on in her brain. Sound familiar? It’s kinda like Harrow the Ninth but more depressing. Oh also a lot of new characters are introduced, old characters come back, a lot of setup for the next book. Euler’s identity shows up out of nowhere?! 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: Again, it made me forget but only because I was so engrossed in this story. Also kinda depressed. This book is kinda depressing. But Baru is very fun to be around, and there are some other great characters. Marry me, Yawa. 

Similar themes: again, this is just harrow the ninth on steroids, I am in love with every single woman in this series

*The Tyrant Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson 

Summary: Baru makes a new bestie, reunites with an old bestie, and discovers a dead bestie in her brain!

How well it helped me forget: 1000/10

Rating explanation: I loved this book. There were a few scenes I reread >four times. This book makes the other books in the series worth it. 

Similar themes: please see my venn diagram comparing tlt, baru, and A memory called empire for more information

*The Ninth House - Leigh Bardugo 

Summary: A girl has seen ghosts her whole life and because of that, gets accepted at Yale even though she didn’t finish high school. Yale is like a hotspot for ghosts I guess. It’s dark academia, the girl has a secret, the narrator is pretty funny.

How well it helped me forget: 6/10

Rating explanation: I was trying to get distracted from TLT (and Baru at this point), but it’s hard to forget about Harrow and Gideon in a book called The Ninth House (hello?). It was enjoyable and there was some good humor. I’m curious about the next book in the series when it comes out. It is not wlw unless you squint (which I do). 

Similar themes: debatably wlw body posession, nine houses, the ninth one being important, nerd boy who reminds me of pal, woman is revealed to be MUCH older than I originally thought, soul eating, revenants, tombs, necromancy, character named Mercy

The Bone Season - Samantha Shannon 

Summary: It’s the future and London is a hotspot for clairvoyants. Paige is a woman who has a special gift and can jump into people’s bodies and possess them briefly (among other things, this is a terrible explanation). Because of this, she is sent to a secret part of the city where clairvoyants are trained to be monster fighters (but also like, kept there in captivity against their will). Unlike every other book on this list I honestly wouldn’t recommend. I know there are other books in the series. If you’ve read on and it gets better let me know. (I know no one has gotten this far reading this but still)

How well it helped me forget: 4/10

Rating explanation: This one was disappointing because I loved Priory of the Orange Tree so much. This book did not distract me from my griddlehark or barhu feels. There’s also a character named Warden so I thought about SexPal a lot. 

Similar themes: enemies to lovers, ghosts, possession, queer but only background characters 

****The Unspoken Name - A.K. Larkwood 

Summary: A girl is in an isolated cult that wants her to die as a sacrifice (sound familiar?). A definitely not evil wizard helps her escape. She meets a cute necromancer who’s also kinda from a cult. She goes on some gay adventures, gets the help of a morally grey older necromancer (who I’m in love with), and fights with her frenemy. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: This is the most similar to TLT on this list. Gideon and Csorwe would be friends. Seriously I recommend this! And the second book comes out soon! And it’s not sad like TLT or Baru! 

Similar themes: sword lesbian + necromancer dynamic, wlw enemies to lovers, cults, tombs, necromancy, character named “the sleeper”, also mlm

The Invisible Life of Addie Larue - V. E. Schwab 

Summary: Adeline Larue made a deal with a demon in 1714 France, because she wanted to see the world and stuff. It backfires of course. She is immortal but no one remembers her. This causes all sorts of problems and makes her very angsty. The narrative flashes between her going through the years, and her falling in love with the only person who will remember her. 

How well it helped me forget: 2/10

Rating explanation: I know people loved this book but I did not. I liked the last 50 pages, I’ll give it that. I wish it was more queer (it was a little queer). 

Similar themes: as I said, a little wlw, immortality, demons, I guess falling in love with someone and them not remembering you now that I think about it 

Sula - Toni Morrison 

Summary: A story about two black women in the 1920’s-1960’s in an Ohio town. It is really great and interesting. It is a book about complicated female friendships (among so many other things that better writers not writing a list no one will read about their TLT feels have outlined) which I love. I was told I should read this after the Neapolitan Novels by Elena Ferrante and it did not disappoint. Same vibes. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: This was just a great book. Has really nothing to do with TLT

Similar themes: debatably queer 

*Murderbot Diaries: All Systems Red, Artificial Condition, Rogue Protocol, Exit Strategy, Network Effect,  - Martha Wells

Summary: Muderbot is an artificial construct who just wants to be left alone to watch tv, damnit! It doesn’t want to interact with humans, and it definitely does not want to talk about feelings. Too bad some humans want to become friends with it.

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: These books were so good. They did help me forget! The books are really about having anxiety, making friends, and letting yourself have feelings. Also they are SO FUNNY. Highly recommend. In the way that I love Gideon’s POV, I love Murderbot’s POV

Similar themes: funny narrator, queer characters, space, people who don’t want to deal with their feelings being forced to deal with their feelings

*A Memory Called Empire - Arkady Martine 

Summary: Mahit is sent a dangerous, evil empire to be an ambassador. Lots of beautiful writing about colonialism, assimilation, language, and culture.There is gay angst and funny characters. I am once again in love with a morally grey older woman character. 

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: Yes this book is great and did distract me from gtn (mostly. I did end up reading a great fanfic about wake, g1deon, and pyrrah in the middle but otherwise...). It is part of my holy trilogy of wlw books (this, baru, tlt) that I just read recently. The next book comes out on March 2nd so it will be a good distraction from waiting for Alecto. Like Baru, it made me feel like shit about colonialism but unlike the other two books in my trilogy (redacted but if you’ve read those books you know) didn’t happen. It had a not too sad ending. 

Similar themes: see my venn diagram, but seriously what is going on with brain surgery in these books...

*The Luminous Dead - Cailtin Starling 9/10

Summary: A woman needs money and to get the money she goes on a risky cave dive. It turns out the only contact she has with the rest of the world is a woman who’s kinda a dick. It’s 400 pages of creepy cave diving and these two women talking to each other. It’s creepy and uncomfortable and I loved it. I did spend the whole book thinking it would be such a good story podcast.

How well it helped me forget: 10/10

Rating explanation: It did make me forget about tlt! There are some kinda boring parts but it pays off. The relationship between the two main characters is very interesting (though a bit fucked up). 

Similar themes: wlw enemies to lovers, traumatised characters, shitty moms

[alexsfictionaddiction]

12 Lesbian Books Everyone Should Read This Pride Month

I need to point out how wonderful the updated version of the lesbian flag is. It’s inclusive of lesbians of all skin colours and that’s exactly what I’ve tried to do in this post. Pride is a time for acceptance, love and inclusivity and it feels especially poignant with everything that is happening in the world right now. So here are my favourite sapphic books that definitely need picking up, if your life is lacking a little girl power. -Love, Alex x

1. Something To Talk About by Meryl Wilsner.

Rumours flood the media that Hollywood starlet Jo and her assistant Emma’s relationship is something more than it is but could that actually be true? This brand new release is a sweet slow-burning romance set in a believable contemporary Hollywood that will help you escape.

2. Under The Udala Trees by Chinelo Okparanta.

When war breaks out in Nigeria, 11-year-old Ijeoma is sent away to safety where she falls for another girl -an experience that will forever change her. With elements of both Nigerian folklore and Christianity, this is a life story set against an eye-opening backdrop of African history, cultural attitudes towards sexuality and the effects of war.  

3. In At The Deep End by Kate Davies.

Twenty-something Julia hasn’t had sex for three years, when she gets her sexual awakening at a warehouse party and so transpires her new life as a lesbian. It’s a filthy, hilarious British rom-com with a Bridget Jones level of heartwarmth to it that reminds us that you don’t have to have it all figured out before you’re an adult. 

4. Juliet Takes A Breath by Gabby Rivera.

Juliet’s coming out didn’t go down well with her Puerto Rican family but now she’s interning with Harlowe Brisbane, a leading voice on feminism and being a lesbian, so surely she’ll get her life figured out, right? Funny and charming, this is a fierce educational novel that you will eat right up.

5. XX by Angela Chadwick.

When Rosie and Jules become the first lesbian couple to fall pregnant through innovative ovum-to-ovum technology, someone leaks the news and the whole world becomes incredibly interested in their lives. XX is a feminist, speculative critique of misogyny, inequality, homophobia and multiple other ills of the world that will pull you straight in.

6. The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth.

In 1989, Cam meets and falls for beautiful cowgirl Coley in their small conservative Montana town but her religious aunt has other, much darker, plans for her niece. Cameron Post is a heady daze of a novel full of angst and heartache that deals with very real issues for many LGBT teens, making it easy to see why its largely considered a seminal work in YA lesbian literature. 

7. Of Fire and Stars by Audrey Coulthurst.

Princess Denna is about to become queen of a land where magic is forbidden, while harboring a secret power of her own, but things get even more complicated when she meets her betrothed’s sister Mare. Intense friendship, conflicting loyalties and saving the world makes this fantasy novel a gorgeous read.

8. The Deep by Rivers Solomon.

Descended from pregnant African slavewomen thrown overboard, Yetu’s people have formed their own underwater society, free from sexual or gender labels, and Yetu remembers everything for them. This beautifully written novella is a very original, captivating and moving experience that is of paramount importance right now.

9. It’s Not Like It’s A Secret by Misa Sugiura.

When Sana moves to California with her family, she meets gorgeous and unique Jamie but both home and friendship dramas rear their ugly heads. As well as being a cute awkward romance, it also tackles racism, damaging stereotypes and celebrates interracial love.

10. Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir.

Tired of a life and afterlife of drudgery, Gideon plans to escape but her lifelong nemesis, necromancer Harrowhark has one last task for her. Gideon the Ninth is a very unique intricate fantasy with extensive world-building and a snarky, complex relationship at its heart.

11. The Color Purple by Alice Walker.

In the deep American South, Celie is separated from her sister Nettie, when she meets vivacious Shug Avery, who teaches her how to be her true self. The Color Purple is a classic within the black literature canon and explores race, abuse and feminism with wonderfully intriguing sapphic undertones. 

12. Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me by Mariko Tamaki and Rosemary Valero-O’Connell.

Laura Dean is Frederica’s dream girl but their on/off relationship is starting to ooze toxicity and Freddy realises that she needs to decide what -and who- is really best for her. This stunning graphic novel is a lesson to us all to go after the love we deserve as opposed to settling for the love we can get.

[xserpx]

Book Recs Ask Game: 4, 9, 10, 13, 15, 16, 19, 24, 28, 32, 51, 54, 59, 71, 75, 77, 83, 87, 88, 89, 91, 92, 95, 119, 120, 121, 124, 126, 131, 132, 133, 134 (of course, you don't have to answer them all, just the ones that particularly interest you!)

4 a poetry book that reads like a story - Sir Gawaine and the Green Knight. I read the poem bc the gifs of Dev Patel were so pretty, but now that I have I so vastly prefer the story of the poem that I don't have any interest in seeing the movie.

9 your favourite book of 2020 - The Trouble With Peace by Joe Abercrombie. One of the best books by one of the best authors, it'll be a while before I read something that tops this.

10 a book that got you through something - Gosh... I would say it's mostly fanfic that gets me through the tough times. There's no book in particular that I remember helping me through a rough patch, but writing and reading and the sense of community and generosity in fanfic has helped me a hell of a lot over the years.

13 your favorite romance novel - North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell. It's Pride & Prejudice with gritty social commentary. The BBC mini-series is incredible but the book is better.

15 a book rec you really enjoyed - Middlemarch by George Eliot, which was recommended by you! It was a fairly daunting prospect to read it, but I love the feeling of it, I especially adore the characters. It's like walking round a museum, a beautiful, baffling, sometimes unsettling but ultimately fulfilling experience. ❤

16 a book you'd recommend to your younger self - Alex Rider. I really wish I'd gotten into this series sooner!

19 a book that put you in a reading slump - I don't blame books for putting me in reading slumps. Because I listen to audiobooks, I'm sometimes more interested in listening to podcasts or music between books. Sometimes when I find a good podcast, it can take weeks to listen to the back catalogue.

24 a book on your nightstand - The Wisdom of Crowds by Joe Abercrombie. I don't currently have an electronic version, so if I want to look up quotes I have to do it the old fashioned way!

28 a book you wish you could read as a beginner again - Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett. Although I do still enjoy reading the book knowing all the revelations, going in cold is an amazing experience that I would love to relive.

32 your favourite nonfiction novel - I haven't read many... Empire of Pain by Patrick Radden Keefe was a solid read, though.

51 a book that you found underwhelming - Gideon the Ninth. After all the hype I'd seen I went in expecting wonders and got... a confusing mess. I wish I liked it more, but I don't.

54 a book with the best opening line - Blood Rites by Jim Butcher. "The building was on fire and it wasn't my fault." Flawless. Only to be outdone by the book's last line: "Why did you buy large breed puppy chow?"

59 a book about city life - Rivers of London by Ben Aaronovitch. I adore his depiction of London and how multi-racial the cast is.

71 your favourite LGBTQ+ fiction - Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston warms my heart and is the queer utopia in which I would like to live please and thank you.

75 a book featuring the I'm not like other girls trope - Thud! by Terry Pratchett features a pretty great subversion of this trope.

77 a book so useless that you could use it as a coaster - Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.

83 a book featuring the fake dating trope - I don't think I've ever read one tbh.

87 a book with a predictable ending - A Frozen Heart by Elizabeth Rudnick. It's a retelling of the Frozen movie, so unless you're one of the 0.1% of people who read it without having seen the movie, the ending is very predictable!

88 a book that made you angry - Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo. I just felt like she threw the cathartic heist magic trick ending away for shock value.

89 a book that disappointed you - Peace Talks by Jim Butcher. Stretching the Ethniu storyline into two books was a mistake, IMO. After waiting 5 years for the book I have to say I was definitely disappointed.

91 the shortest book you've read - I mean... the Very Hungry Caterpillar?

92 a book about a redeemable villain - Artemis Fowl. Forget Zuko, this is my favourite redemption story ever. I love how Artemis is the unequivocal villain of the first book, I love how much stock it puts in him earning Holly and the fairies' trust.

95 your favourite coming of age novel - Oof, by and large I hate coming of age stories, I find them extremely hard to relate to, but A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess is a phenomenal book.

119 your favourite summer read - The Heroes by Joe Abercrombie is my go-to beach read. I think Gorst's grim, bitter inner monologues are best enjoyed when the sun is shining, with Mr Whippy in hand.

120 a book about childhood friends - The Song of Achilles by Madeleine Millar. Does that count? I feel like it counts.

121 a book that makes you nostalgic - Peter Rabbit by Enid Blyton. Loved it as a child, my favourite stuffed toy was a bunny called Peter. 🥲

124 the book you're currently reading - I finished it but I haven't yet jumped to a new book, so The Fowl Twins: Get What They Deserve by Eoin Colfer. Absolutely mad, I'm left with a big sense of 'wtf did I just read?!' I love this series!

126 your favourite spring read - Hmm... Spring calls for something light and lively... Carry On, Jeeves by P. G. Wodehouse, perhaps?

131 tag somebody with whom you would want to buddy read a book - @sapokanikan, I wanna buddy read some George Eliot with you 🧡

132 who is your favorite person to go to for book recs? - My twin sister knows me best. She recommended me both Dresden and The First Law, so her taste is immaculate.

133 a book that you came across randomly and fell in love with - The Complete Works of W. B. Yeats. My copy is old and battered and belonged to one of my eldest sister's originally. One day it ended up in the bathroom, and suffice it to say Yeats is now one of my favourite poets. 😆

134 unreccomend any book you like! - Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Emphasis on cursed.

[meikuree]

list 10 different female faves from 10 different fandoms

I was tagged by @chocochipbiscuit for this ages ago but I’m only getting around to this now because I wanted to find a time when I could just sit down and GUSH about my faves with abandon... hence the lateness... thank you for the tag though, i love doing these things!! this got LONG because i am horrifically verbose, so i’m putting this under a cut:

1. aerith gainsborough (final fantasy vii): probably my earliest fictional crush/fave ever... one of my siblings used to let me watch her play ff7 when i was eight or nine-ish and i've loved aerith since then. i adore her because she's so selflessly compassionate and nurturing -- she's been through an incredible amount of loss and metaphysical loneliness (as the last remaining person of her race) but she still channels her energies towards Greater Causes and uplifting others! and she's still wonderfully modest and down-to-earth about it all and just a Thoroughly Good person in general... one of my comfort characters :,)

2. bethany hawke (dragon age 2): honestly i love all the women in the DA series & can wax poetic about them all in equal degree, such that sticking to one fave per game is in fact even harder than the time i had to sit for the final exams for my degree, but... bethany is probably one of my first picks. i've always found it interesting how she's in immediate senses the more pleasant of the two DA2 siblings to get along with and at the same time someone who is Good but willing to fudge her morals just this side of ambiguity a little. that sort of goodness that coexists with moral flexibility and understanding of practical realities is what draws me to her... basically Goodness With An Edge. also the fact that she is in fact very wise beneath her innocent/youthful exterior and Quietly Competent and is someone who gravitates towards mentoring others while in abject structural/personal circumstances in some storyline choices!! i have a type!!

3. furiosa (mad max fury road): i really love furiosa's story and the way her background and heritage drives the plot. the fact that she's tried to keep her heritage alive all these years... the way she derives her strength and identity from the community where she was raised by women... and then the moment she realises that her old community is gone always get me GODDDD. and then the fact that that moment catalyses one of the most profound realisations in the film afterwards, and leads to the protagonists turning around to revolutionise a violent regime afterwards!! it's all about the loss, and resilience, and quiet, stalwart persistence in spite of it all.

4. franziska von karma (ace attorney): i like hypercompetent characters. franziska is, in the narrative, a woman who was a hypercompetent child prodigy. but i don't love her for that; i love her for the development she undergoes afterwards when she learns to accept failure and become more emotionally measured in general (i think... it's been a while since i've played these games). i also find it very funny that she's mean and abrasive to everyone but has a soft spot for women and young girls like pearl and alternately CARES deeply about how they perceive her or goes out of her way to help them. #franziskaisalesbian anyone?

5. janai (the dragon prince): um, she is incredibly beautiful. honourable warrior who is deeply loyal to her sister and homeland and then learns to look beyond received narratives about racial enmity and hatred? i'm sold. i also love the development of her relationship with amaya.

6. ianthe tridentarius (the locked tomb): honourable mention to this horrible, gremlin girl for being the reason I picked up these books!! she’s a walking bag of moral transgressions and I Enjoy It So Much, IT IS SO REFRESHING. I also appreciate the fact that her particular brand of abhorrence is presented in the narrative free of moralitis, or sententious attempts to link it to gendered failings (e.g. the failure to embody ideal precepts of gender)... which is the treatment Evil Women are often subjected to in stories. Ianthe is Rotten, full stop, and there aren’t any notable attempts to graft an exonerative backstory over it, but also no attempts (yet) to unfairly penalise her for Garbage Moralistic Commentary. at the same time she’s not blandly, beigely villainous either; she is capable of a certain degree of care, however warped or fucked up its actualisation might be. she is complex! in all, a very delicious character. 10/10.

7. harrowhark nonagesimus (the locked tomb): breaking the one-fave-per-fandom rule for TLT because it is that special. I don’t regard harrow as a fave in the sense that I “love her with all my heart” like with aerith or bethany (gideon would take that place, actually -- she's the moral compass of the series!) — it’s more that I love the trajectory she undergoes in harrow the ninth. but I also really enjoy how thorny, difficult, and (morally, but not only) complex she is. I find the meditations on her grief, loneliness, and devotion in Harrow the Ninth comforting and beautiful, as do I the framing of her insanity/madness.

8. billie lurk (dishonored): oh boy, I love how jaded and embittered she is, and the way she's very flawed and human as well... the broad thematic flavours in her backstory of regret over committing ~irredeemable crimes~ and being haunted by your past, and dwelling within the grittier side of life are all very compelling to me! her perspective as someone who is Not A Chosen One and an anti-heroine is refreshing too

9. leliana (dragon age: inquisition): cheating for this one by counting this as a separate game from DA2, hah. she is immensely Intimidating and Cool, i love that she specialises in the domain of spymastery and subterfuge! she is also complex, but some of the things she stands out to me for are that particular brand of realistic, Rugged Faith she has, and the way she's clear-eyed about the sacrifices it takes and ruthlessness she has to wield in service of it

10. pieck (shingeki no kyojin): yes, the character i have written every single one of my 16 fics about in one form or another was bound to make it into this list somehow. honestly i DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY... it's all there in said fics! and there's too much to encompass in one brief answer. but: it's things like her quiet unassuming competence, the way she Takes Responsibility even when she could do the easier thing of resting on her laurels and/or succumbing to despair, her gritty resigned optimism, and the way she takes her obligations to others seriously & twines both ruthlessness and generosity within herself... she's a lot more complex than initially observed by many people, in my humble opinion, and there are still threads to her i’m teasing out to this date!

i’ll tag: @lightdescending @todustagain @kallistoi @leksaa90 @rose-gardens @acerinky @frumpkinspocketdimension @whiteasy no pressure!

[rsadelle]

The best books I read in 2020

I read 167 books in 2020, which is a little more than one and a half times as many as I read in 2019. (I had a crisis of counting at one point when I read a string of novellas, but ultimately came down on the side of if I can check out the ebook from the library as a single volume, then it counts as a book for the purposes of my list.) Only ten of those are books I reread, which is a fairly low reread number/percentage for me. The large number of books I read this year made it extra difficult to narrow down a small number of the best ones, which is why this list is longer than in previous years. It is, in fact, long enough that I have put it behind a cut to spare your dash.

Top 11 fiction books/series I read for the first time in 2020

Bread Alone trilogy (Bread Alone, The Baker's Apprentice, and Baker's Blues) by Judith Ryan Hendricks - I so enjoyed this trilogy about bread baking and figuring out your life and building a home/community and love. I read it at the beginning of the pandemic, when everyone was baking bread, and it was one of those things I was sad to finish because I didn't want to leave the characters.

Never Have I Ever by Joshilyn Jackson - I have read a lot of suburban housewife with a secret books over the last couple of years. This was an excellent example of the genre with the good use of a thematic motif and a second secret reveal after you learn what you think is the biggest secret. Content notes: I had to skim a few chapters because of the large amount of weight and disordered eating content (which is relevant to the character), and there is sexual abuse of a young teenager by an adult as part of the story.

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin - This was such an interesting concept and done so well. It was one of the most popular books my sci fi book club read this year, and the New Yorker in our group said it was her favorite New York book ever. The most disappointing part of this book is that it's the first book in a trilogy and the other books haven't been published yet. Content notes: eldritch horror and realistic racism.

The Sci-Regency Series (My Fair Captain, The Englor Affair, My Regelence Rake, Diplomatic Relations, and My Highland Laird) by J.L. Langley - The delightfully ludicrous premise of this series is that there is a gay Regency society in space, which makes for some really fun romances. I've loved this series for over a decade, and I was thrilled to reread the first three books before reading the two new books that came out this summer. I recommend reading the novels in order, as there is an overarching plot involving the Intergalactic Navy that is interesting and ongoing without overshadowing the romances. Content note: these are on the erotica end of the romance spectrum, which means they have very explicit sex scenes. I wrote a lot more about this series in a Yuletide promo post comment.

The Most Fun We Ever Had by Claire Lombardo - I was so sad to finish this book! I have read a lot of commercial/literary fiction about families in the past few years, and this might be my favorite. I found the characters really compelling and enjoyed seeing their differing perspectives. I didn't want to leave this family.

Throne of Glass series (Throne of Glass, Crown of Midnight, Heir of Fire, Queen of Shadows, Empire of Storms, Tower of Dawn, and Kingdom of Ash) by Sarah J. Maas - This YA fantasy series shouldn't work given its constant escalation, and yet, somehow it does. I greatly enjoyed it, and I cried more than once at the last book. This is a series where I recommend not reading anything about future books until you've read all the books before them so you can enjoy the continual reveals. These are very much genre novels, and if you don't like the genre, these books will not be for you. Content note: there is a lot of genre-typical violence.

The Great Believers by Rebecca Makkai - I admit that I was mildly skeptical about this book given that what I knew about it was that it was a story about the AIDS epidemic where one of the two timelines is about a woman trying to reconnect with her daughter, but I ended up loving it. The two alternating timelines fit together beautifully, and I thought it did a good job of not eliding the horror of the AIDS epidemic experienced by the gay community in favor of the straight woman's experience. I do remain skeptical of how many awards it won; while it was a genuinely excellent book, I also know that awards bodies love dead queer people.

We Set the Dark on Fire and We Unleash the Merciless Storm by Tehlor Kay Mejia - I loved this YA dystopianish (more cultural class divide than apocalypse or singular villain in control) duology about queer women falling in love while working toward revolution. The world building was good, the plot was good, and the romance was good.

Sisters of the Vast Black by Lina Rather - This novella about an order of nuns who travel through space in an organic slug-like spaceship was absolutely wonderful. It deals with issues of faith, purpose, central control, and doing what you can to make the world a better place.

Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson - I loved this YA novel in a sort of Regency-ish setting about a girl who grew up in a library full of magic books and her dealings with some sorcerers, complete with a romance. Content note: attempted mental coercion and institutionalization.

The Wren Hunt and The Wickerlight by Mary Watson - This is a YA duology about rival druid groups in modern day Ireland. I found both books totally compelling with interesting druid politics and magic. It was also really interesting how well we get to see the worst of both sides of the rival druid groups in the two different books.

Top 5 books/series I read and then thought about a lot in 2020

The Twisted Ones by T. Kingfisher - A friend recommended the author to me. This particularly book is a supernatural horror novel I don't necessarily recommend. However, I have continued to think about elements of it since I read it. (Before you @ me about the author's other work, this was the third of her books I read and the other two were in the more beloved fantasy novel genre.)

The Calculating Stars by Mary Robinette Kowal - I actually didn't like this book that much. We read it for a book club, and it had an interesting concept that wasn't super well executed. However, I have thought about elements of it a lot since then, particularly in comparison to some of the other sci fi I encountered this year.

Gideon the Ninth and Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir - I don't know how much "I actively thought about these a lot" describes my actual experience of having read these, but given their popularity and the number of conversations I had about them, I can't omit them from this post entirely. I liked the first one once I figured out what kind of story it actually was, had absolutely no idea what was happening at any point in the second one, and discovered with both of them that I have a much more limited vocabulary than I thought, at least when it comes to death-related words. I am invested enough that I will read the third book when it comes out, but probably won't read any more of the author's work beyond that. If you want to know more about what I thought, I wrote a very spoilery post about them.

The Sixth World (Trail of Lightning and Storm of Locusts) by Rebecca Roanhorse - This is a pair of novels set in a post-apocalyptic world where there's a magically/divinely-erected wall around Dinétah (the Navajo lands). The worldbuilding and characters are so interesting, and it's a series where some of the details stuck with me and I would randomly think of them. I'm looking forward to reading one of her other books in a few months for my sci fi book club.

Wild Mercy: Living the Fierce and Tender Wisdom of the Women Mystics by Mirabai Starr - This was one of two books about women mystics I read and disliked this year, and the more disappointing of the two as I'd heard an interview with the author that I found interesting. I continued to think about this one a lot in an angry, "and another thing!" way, which did help me articulate more of the things I dislike about new age-ish framing of "feminine" wisdom/divinity/knowledge.

Top 3 non-fiction books I read in 2020

The Vagina Bible: The vulva and the vagina - separating the myth from the medicine by Dr. Jen Gunter - This is probably better as a reference work than as a straight read-through, but it was interesting enough to read straight through. The book is deeply rooted in science and facts, and she has a whole chapter on "Vaginas and Vulvas in Transition" specifically about anatomy for trans people.

Here All Along: Finding Meaning, Spirituality, and a Deeper Connection to Life - in Judaism (After Finally Choosing to Look There) by Sarah Hurwitz - This is a useful, contemporary introduction to Judaism from someone who shares a lot of my values. The first half is an introduction to Jewish thought, while the second half focuses more on spirituality and practice. The book is part general introduction and part spiritual memoir. I found it deeply inspirational and I added it to a wish list of books I want to own copies of (I read it as a library ebook) because I would like to both reread it in hardcopy where I can easily flip back and forth and use it as a resource for further study and reading.

You Can Draw in 30 Days by Mark Kistler - You may remember that I wrote more about this when I originally finished reading the book. I found it a gentle, funny, helpful book to teach you the basics of drawing.

The 2 authors I read the most in 2020

Jennifer Lynne Barnes - I read fifteen of her books in three weeks in January, when I was still working full time, and a sixteenth after it was published later in the year. Her books are fast-read YA novels that are deeply engaging and generally have some sort of mystery element to them which may or may not involve family secrets. She has a tendency to write variations of the same characters, which meant that I enjoyed mentally mapping the characters from various books onto characters from other books. Also, her werewolf trilogy does one of my favorite werewolf story things that you almost never see (but it doesn't happen until the end of the first book, so I won't spoil it by telling you what it is). Many of her books involve violence, so heed the summaries or email/message me if you want some content notes.

Laura Lippman - I read nineteen of her books this year, eighteen novels and a non-fiction essay collection. She's an excellent mystery writer with a distinctive voice. The time I read four of her books in four days, I found myself thinking in her style. Even if I hadn't otherwise enjoyed My Life As A Villainess, her essay collection, it would have been worth reading just for the kicker on "The Thirty-First Stocking." Content note: her novels frequently involve violence or its aftermath.

[explosionshark]

Thanks for recommending Gideon the Ninth! It was so good! Do you have a book rec tag I could check out? :)

honestly i should, huh? i’ve read more books than probably ever before this year and i’ve talked about ‘em intermittently, but not with a consistent tag. i’ll recommend some right now, though, with a healthy dose of recency bias!

sf/f

the priory of the orange tree by samantha shannon - a truly epic fantasy novel with one of the most beautiful, satisfying f/f romances i’ve ever read. the novel takes account nearly everything i hate about fantasy as a genre (overwhelmingly straight, white, and male centric, bland medieval European settings, tired tropes) and subverts them. incredible world-building, diverse fantasy cultures, really cool arthrurian legend influence. one of my favorite books i’ve ever read tbh.

gideon the ninth by tamsyn muir - which you’ve read, obviously, but for posterity’s sake i’m keeping it here! sci-fi + murder mystery + gothic horror. genuinely funny while still having a super strong emotional core and more than enough gnarly necromantic to satisfy the horror nerd in me. makes use of some of my favorite tropes in fiction, namely the slowburn childhood enemies to reluctant allies to friends to ??? progression between gideon and harrow. absolutely frothing at the mouth for a sequel.

the broken earth trilogy by nk jemisin - really the first book that helped me realize i don’t hate fantasy, i just hate the mainstream ‘medieval europe but with magic’ version of fantasy that dominates the genre. EXTREMELY cool worldbuilding. i’ve definitely described it as like, a GOOD version of what the mage-vs-templar conflict in dragon age could have been, with a storyline particularly reminiscent of “what if someone got Anders right?”

this is how you lose the time war by amal el-mohtar and max gladstone - i’m not usually big on epistolary novels, but this one really worked for me. spy vs spy but it’s gay and takes place between time traveling agents of two opposing sides of a war. the letter writing format really plays to el-mohtar’s strengths as a poet, the unfolding love story is weird and beautiful. it’s a really quick read, too, if you’re short on time or attention.

empress of forever  by max gladstone - i just finished this one this week! if you’re in the mood for a space opera, look no further. imagine if steve jobs was an asian lesbian and also like not a shitty person. this is where you start with vivian liao. you get the classic putting-the-band-together arc with beings from all across the universe, your romances and enemies-turned-friends and uneasy alliances all over the place. really satisfying character development and some extremely cool twists along the way. it’s just a fun good time.

the luminous dead by caitlin starling - this one rides the line of horror so it’s closest to that part of the list. it reminds me of the most inventive low budget horror/sci-fi films i’ve loved in the best way possible because it makes use of the barest narrative resources. it’s a book that takes place in one primary setting, featuring interactions between two characters that only meet each other face-to-face for the briefest period. the tension between the two characters is the most compelling part of the story, with competing and increasingly unreliable narratives and an eerie backdrop to ratchet things up even higher. the author described it as “queer trust kink” at one point which is, uh, super apt actually and totally my jam. the relationship at the center of the book is complicated to say the least, outright combative at points, but super compelling. plus there’s lost of gnarly sci-fi spelunking if you like stories about people wandering around in caves.

horror

the ballad of black tom by victor lavalle - we all agree that while lovecraft introduced/popularized some cool elements into horror and kind of defined what cosmic horror would come to mean, he was a racist sack of shit. which is why my favorite type of ‘lovecraftian horror’ is the type that openly challenges his abhorrent views. the ballad of black tom is a retelling of the horror at redhook that flips the narrative by centering the action around a black protagonist. 

lovecraft country by matt ruff - more of what i just described. again, lovecraftian themes centered around black protagonists. this one’s especially cool because it’s a series of interconnected short stories following related characters. it’s getting a tv adaptation i believe, but the book is definitely not to be missed

rolling in the deep / into the drowning deep by mira grant - mermaids are real and they’re the ultimate deep sea predators! that’s really the whole premise. if for some reason that’s not enough for you, let me add this: diverse cast, a romance between a bi woman who’s not afraid to use the word and an autistic lesbian, really cool speculative science tangents about mermaid biology and myth. 

the haunting of hill house by shirley jackson - it’s halloween month so i’m thinking about hill house again. one of the greatest american ghost stories ever written. especially worth the read if you follow it up w the 1964 film adaptation (the haunting) and then the 2018 netflix series.

the hunger by alma katsu - i’ve always been fascinated by the donner party even though we now know the popular narrative is largely falsehoods. still, this highly fictionalized version of events scratched an itch for me and ended up surprising me with its resistance from the most expected and toxic racist tropes associated with donner party myth.

wounds / north american lake monsters by nathan ballingrud - nathan ballingrud is my favorite horror writer of all time. one of my favorite writers period regardless of genre. in ballingrud’s work the horror is right in front of you. you can look directly at it, it’s right there. but what permeates it, what draws your attention instead, what makes it hurt is the brutally honest emotional core of everything surrounding the horror. the human tragedy that’s’ reflected by the more fantastic horror elements is the heart of his work. it’s always deeply, profoundly moving for me. both of these collections are technically short stories, but they’re in the horror section of the recs because delineations are totally arbitrary and made solely at my discretion. 

short stories

her body and other parties by carmen maria machado - tbh i almost put this in w horror but there’s enough weird fiction here for me to be willing to straddle the line. it was really refreshing to read horror that centered queer women’s perspectives. the stories in this collection are really diverse and super powerful. there’s an incredible weird fiction piece that’s like prompt-based law and order svu micro fiction (go with me here) that ends up going to some incredible places. there’s the husband stitch, a story that devastated me in ways i’m still unraveling. the final story reminded me of a more contemporary haunting of hill house in the best way possible. machado is a writer i’m really excited about.

vampires in the lemon grove by karen russell - my friend zach recommended this to me when we were swapping book recs earlier this year and i went wild for it! mostly weird fiction, but i’m not really interested in getting hung up on genres. i don’t know what to say about this really other than i really loved it and it got me excited about reading in a way i haven’t been in a while. 

the tenth of december by george saunders - i really like saunders’ work and i feel like the tenth of december is a great place to start reading him. quirky without being cloying, weird without being unrelatable.

misc

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid - there’s something really compelling to me about the glamour of old hollywood. this story is framed as a young journalist interviewing a famously reclusive former starlet at the end of her life. the story of how evelyn hugo goes from being the dirt-poor daughter of cuban immigrants to one of the biggest names in hollywood to an old woman facing the end of her life alone is by turns beautiful, inspiring, infuriating and desperately sad. by far the heart of the book is in evelyn finally coming out as bisexual, detailing her decades-long on/off relationship with celia st. james, another actress. evelyn’s life was turbulent, fraught with abuse and the kind of exploitation you can expect from the hollywood machine, but the story is compelling and engaging and i loved reading it.

smoke gets in your eyes by caitlin doughty - a memoir by caitlin doughty, the woman behind the popular ‘ask a mortician’ youtube series. it was a super insightful look into the american death industry and its many flaws as well as an interesting, often moving look at the human relationship with death through the eyes of someone touched by it early and deeply.

love and rockets by los bros hernandez (jaime and gilbert and mario) - this was a big alt comic in the 80s with some series within running on and off through the present. i’m not current, but this book was so important for me as a kid. in particular the locas series, which centered around two queer latina girls coming up in the punk scene in a fictional california town. the beginning starts of a little sci-fi-ish but over time becomes more concerned with slice-of-life personal dramas. 

[notjanine]

2020 in books!

the only kind of new year’s resolution i made as a naive baby last january was to try to read 40 books for the year. (i read 37 in 2019, for context.) well, with all of my commuting time eliminated and an increased need for immersive escapism, i ended up surpassing that goal three times over lmao (thanks library ebooks!)

idk how to summarize my year in books in a way that makes sense but

(f) = fiction, (nf) = nonfiction, (p) = poetry.

books that rewired my fucking brain:

braiding sweetgrass by robin wall kimmerer (nf)- GOD?!?!?! good. dr. k is right. ostensibly a book about plants, but actually a book about shut up and go outside. consumerism and capitalism are doing their damnedest to fuck you up, but you can just choose to value different things. take care of yourself by taking care of your environment. etc etc.

wasp by richard jones (nf)- lissen. when i got this book, my wasp-phobia was so severe that i had to put it away face down on a high shelf because there are wasps on the cover and i couldn’t bear to RISK even GLIMPSING them. now i am like... a wasp evangelist. (also due to the bugs 101 course on coursera it’s so good.)

wag by zazie todd (nf)- i have a dog, but i am NOT a Dog Person (i.e. i love my dog, but please keep yours away from me, thanks.) this book helped me understand my little guy better, plus it gives actionable tasks and activities to do with and for your pup! plus, y’know, learning about things you’re scared of helps to lessen that fear. i’d recommend this to anyone who has, wants, or regularly interacts with a dog.

a closed and common orbit by becky chambers (f)- is this series complete fluff? absolutely. am i fundamentally different after reading this one? maybe.

the best we could do by thi bui (nf)- this is so far outside of my personal experience but somehow still made me come to peace with my relationship with my mom?? and it’s barely even about that?? idk. this is probably objectively the best book i’ve read this year.

books that were just fun as hell:

mexican gothic by silvia moreno-garcia (f)- this book made me YELL out loud

death on the nile by agatha christie (f)- i grew up on agatha christie shows, but never actually read her before this year! she really was That Bitch. read this before the movie comes out

cosmoknights by hannah templer (f)- i read this in one sitting through the worst headache i’ve had in years. it is a goddamn DELIGHT. this book has everything: spaceships. mech suits. fighting the patriarchy. a perfect otp. fun art in bright colors with clean lines. onomatopoetic WAPs from before the song gave that hilarious context. 800 lesbians. this is an antidepressant in graphic novel form.

stiff by mary roach (nf)- ms. roach is like the 4th most represented author on my bookshelf because she 1. stays writing about shit i’m interested in and 2. manages to talk about gross and ridiculous things without resorting to sensationalism. it takes skill to write a hilarious book about corpses.

black sun by rebecca roanhorse (f)- excellent sexual tension between a horny siren pirate and a hot doomed... monk, kinda? set in the pre-columbian gulf of mexico with magic and shit.

cuisine chinoise by zao dao (? n/f)- this graphic novel about chinese food history/mythology is BEAUTIFUL.

the color of magic by terry pratchett (f)- you’d think a hardcore douglas adams stan would have gotten to this sooner, but no, i had to date a nerdy white boy to get here. it’s fun though! i’m not gonna read them all, but this one was good. bonus: contains one (1) great himbo.

gideon the ninth by tamsyn muir (f)- like 500 pages of action and mystery and jokes and space necromancy. harrow the ninth gets a special mention bc it has a meme reference that took me out so hard i had to close the book, lie down, and groan for an entire minute before continuing.

other minds by peter godfrey-smith (nf)- i love octopuses. on one tma bonus ep, jonny sims says that if a creature can choose to do evil, then it’s a Person. octopuses are People. but anyway frfr this has an explanation of the evolution of consciousness that is cool af. (this one is much better than the other recent popsci octo book which i will not name out of politeness.)

the perfect predator by steffanie strathdee and thomas patterson (nf)- i read this bc my microbiology prof recommended it and it’s cool as heck! it’s got adventure, drama, mystery, Science-with-a-capital-S. i’m biased bc i’m a bit of a microbes nerd, but i had a blast with this. (but only bc we know going in that everything works out okay; if i hadn’t known that, i would have been TOO stressed!)

books that were a little less fun but still very readable:

my sister, the serial killer by oyinkan braithwaite (f)- i couldn’t find this as funny as other people bc i, too, have a beautiful sister who’s an insufferable narcissist, so it hits a little too close to home, but. it is a wild ride.

piranesi by susanna clarke (f)- idek what to say! i went into this one blind just bc it had a cool cover and title, so i guess i’d recommend that for other people too.

the sixth world series by rebecca roanhorse (f)- monster hunting! a post-apocalyptic take that doesn’t feel tired.

the shades of magic trilogy by v.e. schwab (f)- easy escapism. some ideas feel a little first draft-y, but idk, it’s also a pretty simple premise (which isn’t a bad thing). it’s a decent urban fantasy set in ~georgian?-era london. very actiony. suffers from a bit of i’m-not-like-other-girls disease, but i didn’t even notice until book two or three, so.

the only good indians by stephen graham jones (f)- starts off a little ??? (and reeks of being Written By A Man) but picks up. the pacing’s great and there’s just a super fucking cool monster.

robopocalypse by daniel h. wilson (f)- this reads like a tv miniseries so much that i can’t believe it isn’t one yet.

confessions of the fox by jordy rosenberg (f)- not my usual cup of tea, fiction-wise, but still compelling. a fresh take on the white-male-english-professor-self-insert? but not insufferable. gets weird!

spinning silver by naomi novik (f)- rumplestilstkin, but make it interesting! a great, richly-told fairy tale, but like, large scale. good to read on a cold day while you’re wrapped up in a blanket with some hot tea.

interior chinatown by charles yu (f)- compulsively readable. a couple things bugged me, but not enough to make me dislike it. a fun companion piece to how to live safely in a science fictional universe. i like this guy’s style.

cannibalism by bill schutt (nf)- COOL. mostly covers the animal kingdom (fun), spends too much time on the donner party (less fun), ends with a SPICY take on prions that i cannot get out of my head!!!

buzz, sting, bite by anne sverdrup-thygeson (nf)- BUGS! broad but not overwhelming, neither dumbed down nor overly scientific, short enough to finish in a day or two. recommend this to literally everyone.

books that made me want to read everything else in the author’s ouevre:

the time invariance of snow by e. lily yu (f)- this FUCKS but it’s too short!!!

an unkindness of ghosts by rivers solomon (f)- okay this book is SO good and so well-written and interesting and blah blah blah all the good things, but... the whole time, i was just like?? why???? why is this what you’re choosing to write about??? (i did also read the deep and blood is another word for hunger after this one, and i did like them both, especially the latter, but i think they can do better! like i think they could write a perfect book and i am gonna be *eyes emoji* until then.)

the space between worlds by micaiah johnson (f)- a fine debut novel, but i want to see her do something a little more... idk, refined? i think she overreaches here, like it’s a little... idk looper? this is how you lose the time war? there’s a better comparison, but i can’t think of it, but you get the idea. and then halfway through it shifts gears to mad max. there’s something weird about one of the central relationships, like it’s not complex enough to take as long to resolve as it does. idk idk. there are just a lot of little nitpicky things. it’s not bad! but i think she can do better and i look forward to finding out.

postcolonial love poem by natalie diaz (p)- thinky! like i tried to read this before bed, but it’s not the sort of thing to parse out while you’re falling asleep, it requires more attention than that.

books that Learned Me Somethin:

smoke gets in your eyes by caitlin doughty (nf)- i am a self-professed death obsessed weirdo, fascinated by death and mourning, but i didn’t know all that much about what happens to a body between the dying and the funeral! this book isn’t big, but it covers a lot and doughty’s writing style is engaging and honest. it’s very memorable.

queer by meg-john barker and julia scheele (nf)- i’m gonna be totally honest and say Queer Theory is above my intellectual pay grade, but this book takes you by the hand and explains the basics.

vitamania by catherine price (nf)- LMAO my fellow americans, never take a supplement. this book is great and well-researched, but normal folks don’t need to read it, just listen to season two of the dream podcast, which definitely cribbed from this.

vegetable kingdom by bryant terry (nf)- this is a fine cookbook, my favorite of his that i’ve read so far. gets a special mention bc i had a religious experience just reading one of his kohlrabi recipes. absolutely gutted that i didn’t have an opportunity to try it this year, since the pandemic put the kibosh on all family bbqs.

the best american food writing 2020 edited by j. kenji lopez-alt (nf)- this really is just a great collection.

are prisons obsolete? by angela y. davis (nf)- yes.

i moved to los angeles to work in animation by natalie nourigat (nf)- before reading this, i had basically zero knowledge of how the animation industry works. now i know like three things.

the secret lives of bats by merlin tuttle (nf)- BATS! okay this book is more about the adventures of being a bat scientist than it actually is about bats, but there are bats in there. insectivorous bats basically shit glitter, you should know this.

books from valuable perspectives:

hood feminism by mikki kendall (nf)- a breakdown of who’s getting left out of feminist spaces, why that’s happening, and why it shouldn’t be happening.

all you can ever know by nicole chung (nf)- a (transracial) adoptee’s take on adoption and learning more about her birth family. the personal storytelling of this one really stuck with me.

motherhood so white by nefertiti austin (nf)- a single-mom-by-choice’s take on the foster system/adoption process. walks you through some things i always wondered about and some things i wouldn’t even have thought about.

this place by kateri akiwenzie-damm et al (? n/f)- i, like a lot of non- native americans, only know that history in broad strokes. getting this many highly specific stories in one dense and beautiful book felt like a lucky find. and taking that perspective into the future in the context of that history is v good.

empty by susan burton (nf)- eating disorder stories are important to me bc i care about food so much. this one is so relatable- not in its specificity, but rather its generality. it’s easy to empathize with her perspective because it’s like, Oh, i don’t have that exact problem, but i struggle with different problems in a very similar way. (feels like the opposite of roxane gay’s hunger, in a way.)

obit by victoria chang (p)- this exploration of grief is... woof.

short story collections are hard to evaluate bc you’ll never read one where every single story hits but i generally enjoyed these:

a thousand beginnings and endings edited by ellen oh and elsie chapman (f)

how long til black future month? by n.k. jemisin (f)

her body and other parties by carmen maria machado (f)

books i revisited:

the broken earth trilogy by n.k. jemisin (f)- i read the series backwards this time and like... i can’t really find any faults in these books, man. they’re just the best.

everyone’s a aliebn when ur a aliebn too by jomny sun (f... but is it really?)- half of this book’s sales are from me buying it for other people bc it’s the only way i know how to say i love you. i reread it every time just to make sure it still feels right and it always does.

other honorable mentions:

white is for witching by helen oyeyemi (f)- not to pit two bad bitches against each other, but this book does what akwaeke emezi’s freshwater was trying to do. it’s a little weird, a little haunted, a little of a lot of things. read this only in the dead of winter. (and with stephen rennicks’ score for the little stranger playing in the background.)

homie by danez smith (p)- there’s a lot going on here, but this just made me crack a smile a couple times in a way that no other book of poetry has ever done.

the murder of roger ackroyd and murder in mesopotamia by agatha christie (f)- That Bitch!

blues by nikki giovanni (p)- she sure has some Things To Say

the three-body problem by cixin liu (f)- interesting concepts, but... idk something’s missing? felt weirdly soulless to me. i’m probably not gonna read the sequels. but it did make some points!

the sisters of the winter wood by rena rossner (f)- i’m a slut for shapeshifting, okay. but this is a good fairy tale, it works!

parable of the sower by octavia butler (f)- i read this in march, when the pandemic was just kicking off and boy that was not the right time. def my least favorite of hers so far, but an octavia butler i don’t love is still better than a hell of a lot of other books. no idea when or if i’ll get to a good enough headspace for the sequel.

faves:

saturnino herrán by adriana zapett tapia (nf)- i got to learn new things about my mans and see some of his paintings i’ve never even seen online! GOSH.

on food and cooking by harold mcgee (nf)- yeah yeah, i’ve already mentioned this book half a dozen times on here this year, but i don’t care. this book lives off the shelf in my home bc i reference it like every other fucking day. this book is a part of me now.

[distant-rose]

1, 10, 16, 22 FOR SALTY ASKS, BITCH! xo

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

I’m going to say it and people are going to possibly fight me but Rumbelle. As someone who specializes in family and human rights law, it’s hard for me to watch because I feel like I’m watching one of my cases, particularly cases regarding Battered Women’s Syndrome where women are put through a cycle of abuse and affection that eventually leads to them snapping and killing their partners due to the constant fear that they feel. Granted, that didn’t happen on the show and I don’t think Adam & Eddy even have a clue what BWS is but it was the cycle that got me - the manipulation, the gaslighting and sometimes even trespass against the person via false imprisonment. (And yes, false imprisonment is categorized as trespass against the person in tort.) I constantly cringed while watching them mainly because it became clear many times that Rumple just doesn’t respect Belle’s autonomy and views her more as a coveted object than a partner.

Another is honestly…Kataang. I don’t find it abusive for the record or anything. And just a PSA out there for you, you CAN dislike a ship and not find it abusive, just saying. It’s more that I felt there wasn’t much chemistry for Aang and Katara. There was a serious maturity gap between them. I felt to me that Aang was always trying to hold on to his childhood and really not face issues unless they were pressing and he felt compelled too while Katara honestly acted more like an adult, which isn’t surprising considering the fact her mother died when she was young and she and Sokka were often left on their own because of the war. Katara really faced things head on and I feel like her actions towards Aang were more maternal than anything. @justanotherwannabeclassic and I have discussed this before but it feels like Katara was just a prize for Aang for saving the world and kinda lost her autonomy as person. She just became his girlfriend when she was a master fucking waterbender and I don’t think she would have been satisfied with just being a wife and mother, not that there is anything wrong with that but she’s very much into helping people and being a revolutionary - she was the fucking Painted Lady, c’mon now.

I could write an entire essay on these two and other ships but honestly this answer is long enough as is.

I’m gonna put my other answers under the cut because I have a lot of salt

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

Alana. Seriously. If I could, I would rewrite the entire Once Upon a Time show post-season three. There’s so many things I have an issue with in regard to OUAT but if I had to chose one and this is hard, but the entire Killian killed David’s Dad/Killian’s Realm Tour 2017. That story arc was bullshit, in fact most of season six was bullshit. Season five was also bullshit but I digress. Anyway, I think the whole issue of Killian killing Robert was fucking dumb and was just drama for drama’s sake because Adam and Eddy got lazy and apparently wrote the majority of their plots high, and not the good kind of high. Like the kinda high you get when you buy cheap ass marijuana from a sketchy street vender in Switzerland kinda high. That’s the minor beef I have with this arc, the main bit is the Emma moping and thinking Killian abandoned her nonsense. Girl, we just went through THREE SEASONS of crazy ass insanity where it was confirmed MANY times that Killian wasn’t ever going to leave her, loved her and would die like five hundred times for her. The fact that she immediately thought that he left instead of, maybe I don’t know, being kidnapped or hurt is just absurd to me. It’s fucking absurd. 

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

Oh god, where to do I fucking begin. Number one, I would have had a fucking real overarching plot for OUAT and I would have totally reworked seasons four through seven with more original spins. One of the things that attracted me to the show in the first place was how they took characters like Snow White and Little Red Riding Hood and they turned them on their heads and made them bad ass and unique. That didn’t seem to happen much post-season three. I would have changed Elsa and Anna up a bit instead of making them carbon copies of their movie selves. It would be something making Elsa morally grey and a boss ass political bitch who gives Regina a run for her money and make Anna an absolute tomboy who have no interest in being a princess but would rather be a flower child and walk around in the woods all day bare foot and incredibly strong because all she does is climb trees. I love the idea of playing Elsa off as winter and Anna as a spring. Work with that. That would have been an interesting thing. 

Also, I actually did not enjoy the author arc at all. I get the idea of playing around with the characters as inverse/opposites of their true natures but I just rolled my eyes a lot. I would have done an entirely different arc, maybe looked more at realm traveling or you know actually address whether people want to return to the Enchanted Forrest. Hell, I would have maybe even done something about the town line and whether the citizens of Storybrooke wanted to explore the outside world. 

Dark Swan was a wasted opportunity in my opinion and they really missed a chance to make Emma actually do some really crazy shit and you know confront some of the issues that had been buried under the rug in the past few seasons but that’s not biggest issue actually. I had more issues with the Underworld as a Greek mythology buff than I did with Dark Swan but how they did the Dark Ones thing could have been so much better. But Underworld deserves more of my beef. *sigh* That, personally to me, was a wasted arc creatively. Don’t get me wrong, I cried like a bit at the elevator scene but I feel like they should have gone more Greek myth than Disney Hades. I think I’ve said before to @katie-dub that it would have been more interesting if Hades wasn’t so much of an antagonist but more of someone who misleads them into thinking that Killian is in the worst part of the Underworld while he really isn’t, he’s either on the Asphodel Meadows and doesn’t remember her or in Elysium where he’s completely at peace and taking him back would pose more of a moral question for Emma on whether or not she should. 

We can all agree that seasons six is a train wreck right? I was a little annoyed at the timelines and the issues brought up in regard to Captain Swan. It seemed like they were issues that had been addressed or should have been addressed in previous seasons. I found the whole wedding thing super rushed. I would have been content if Captain Swan had more of background role drama-wise and maybe they actually used the wedding to really build on Emma and Snow’s relationship more because it had been strongly ignored. The Black Fairy was a wasted villain and Gideon wasn’t really necessary. Let’s be real, that final battle was a massive letdown and the last time I checked a TLK doesn’t save you from normal mortal wounding. I kinda wished they played around with the Untold Stories Thing a bit more in S6. I would have totally nixed the Wish Realm and the Musical Episode even though I liked the music. I just found a lot of their plots confusing, unnecessary and tired.

Okay, I didn’t watch a lot of season seven but I do have an issue with the recycling of plots and characters. I don’t mind Jacinda or Tilly/Alice but I found the whole recycle of Alice in Wonderland and Cinderella a sign that the creative well had run dry. I wish they had work with new material and stories such as the Labyrinth, Black Cauldron, Treasure Island, Atlantis or even fucking Enchanted. They could have also worked in on some of the legends from 1,001 Arabian Nights, worked more with Greek mythology particularly the Odyssey or the Argonauts. There’s a lot of creative things they could have done and just didn’t do. You’re welcome to like season seven and the characters it introduced but it just felt more like a money grab with incredibly lazy writing.

22. Popular character you hate?

I have a feeling a lot of people might unfollow me for this one but David Tennant’s Tenth Doctor. Like I’m sure not a lot of people have noticed this but I do not reblog anything with Ten in it. I know he’s everyone’s favorite and people love him and think he’s attractive but I actually hate his treatment of Rose, Martha and Donna as well as his weird space casanova act. I actually don’t really like Ten/Rose that much mainly because Ten doesn’t seem to have the same love and denotation for her that Nine did and was totally cool with leaving her and Mickey alone in a murder robot infested space in the 51st century to chase after Madame Pompadour. I don’t think the Ninth “I could save the world but lose you” Doctor would have done the whole “does it need saying?” and would have left Rose in Pete’s World with his clone without giving her a say. I was really irked by that. He whined about how much he missed Rose for TWO. WHOLE. FUCKING. SEASONS and when she came back, he’s like “here, have my clone and fuck off.” It bothered me so much and I think a lot of Rose hate is honestly based off Ten’s melodramatic ass and how he whined about missing Rose and made Martha feel inferior. Martha Jones was a fucking boss and didn’t deserve the shit he gave her. And then, we have Donna, poor Donna who didn’t get a choice at all in her fate. He chose it for her and that will never not bother me. Rose, Martha and Donna deserved more. End of story.

[stunudo]

Just Because

I wanted to make something funny and @reidbyers posted this fun Sentence Starters list. So blame Jen for this... J/K I tried to get them all. This is the most shit post ever... Now I am paranoid I have read something like this before. Oh well.

Penelope had gathered everyone together for an impromptu “Team Building Seminar” at a local bar & grille. The establishment had a western theme, so she had somehow bamboozled an assortment of child-sized cowboy and cowgirl hats for the team to wear. The BAU team: Hotch, Rossi, Reid, JJ, Prentiss and her one and only Boo-thang Derek Morgan were all there seated around a banquet sized table in a private room next to the kitchen.

“Attention. I need attention.” Garcia began, her bright pink hat, nestled at an intentional angle on her curly head. The team was not getting the point, so she held up her toy pistol and shot the cap gun off. *snap* *snap*

Six sets of eyes slowly made their way to their hostess and tech analyst.

“Baby Girl, is 'no' an emotion? Because I'm feeling it." Derek teased from his lazy perch next to Rossi. He had kindly wore his black and silver cowboy hat at an angle like hers, but what he was really excited to wear was the Bolo tie.

Garcia rolled her eyes and tried to get the group back in line. “Guys, we are starting with a round of questions. Just quick responses, don’t think too hard. Almost like word association.” She looked around the table, ensuring everyone was playing along. “ Which layer of hell do you think you're going to?”

“Seven.” Derek shouted out, rather robustly. Reid looked at him, impressed that he knew the circles and had chosen a decently appropriate one. Spencer had to readjust his purple cowboy hat again, it kept on slipping. But actually it was JJ and Emily lightly tapping it from either side of him.

“Ninth,” mumbled Prentiss.

“Definitely sixth for me, too much sway with the press,” JJ admitted, taking a long pull off her pint.

“I don’t believe in hell, but if I did I think I would be banished to the second circle.” Reid pondered.

“Reid? Isn’t that the sexy one?” Garcia’s mouth was hanging open. “Nevermind, moving on: I am going with circle 8, hacking is kind of a multifaceted dominion.”

Everyone turned to look at Rossi for his answer, but he was looking at his phone screen. Derek nudged the older man.

“Oh, sorry. If a conversation goes on too long without being about me, I'm out.” He explained. Garcia nodded, but kept the exercises coming.

“I am going to start with a question and I want you guys to build a conversation around it. Only one sentence and then it’s the next person’s turn.”

Garcia flipped through her index cards, they were electric green. She grinned when she found the question she was looking for, she turned to Hotch at the head of the table.

“Sir, you start then we will finish going clockwise.” Everyone nodded. "Are we just friends or is this flirting serious?"

Without missing a beat or loosening his gold sequenced cowboy hat, Hotch replied, “Contrary to popular belief I'm actually soft and have feelings.”

It was now JJ’s turn, “Why fall in love when you can fall on the floor and never get up?"

Reid was not quite getting the game, he looked around the room at his team mates’ faces and thought for a minute, maybe longer. "I don't wanna get involved in drama I just wanna know 103% of the information on what happened."

Emily slapped the table in a muted fit of laughter, "Fill your heart with bees. If someone breaks your heart then they have to deal with the bees."

Derek shook his head at her inappropriate outburst, “I panic a lot of other places besides the disco."

Rossi was looking at the room full of the Bureau’s finest and he couldn’t take it anymore, "All this sadness is bad for my skin."

Garcia hustled over to the senior agent and patted him on the back, the crocodile tears were shaking his frame. "Bro, you look so cute right now. Dude, you are so fucking adorable." She was so proud of the progress the question had brought about the team, she kept the game going. "I think I'm subconsciously trying to ruin my own life."

Hotch stood up and flipped his chair backwards, so he could straddle it. As he tossed his hat aside, he tossed his very short locks, "I don't want to look 'pretty', I want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening."

JJ held her heart at Hotch’s honesty, "I may act like I'm sassy but if you're mean to me there's a 900% chance I'll cry."

Reid patted JJ’s back, slyly making a knot in her hair with her cowgirl hat’s drawstring. “Drugs? No thanks, the only 'high' I need is the natural rush you get from committing a murder."

Emily slid her chair closer to Derek and looked him right in his knowing eyes, "Why can't I be mentally chill instead of mentally ill?" Derek grabbed her hands in comfort.

“I may be ugly but at least I have an ugly personality too. Consistency is key." The dark agent took a generous sip from his beer.

Rossi was now pacing the room, his hat trailing behind him like a cape. "I could win an Olympic gold medal in being ignored." Garcia had sat down in Rossi’s abandoned chair, putting her feet onto Derek’s lap. "What about netflix and kill?"

Hotch had been doing the chair routine from Flash dance as the team continued the training exercise. After he didn’t have a bucket of water to drop on himself, Reid grabbed the pitcher of beer to complete the choreography. “ Sorry for being awesome, loser." He spat at Reid, who didn’t know if he should clap or bow at their boss’s performance.

"Girls are so soft and amazing and nice and beautiful and mysterious and complex and loving and caring. I don't remember what I was going to say but I'm just gay." JJ had started talking as she kicked the chair that Reid had left towards Emily. Emily was ignoring her while she continued to comfort Morgan. Reid quickly returned with his abused chair, sitting beside Hotch, trying to mimic his stance.

“My kink is being right." He offered to his boss.

Emily barely controlled her laugh, cradling Derek’s bald head in her lap. "I am bysexual as in I'm not interested, goodbye." Derek was crying too hard to take his turn.

Rossi shouted his answer from the corner where he was now trying to get the waitress’s number. "My kink is being home alone."

Hotch had to put Reid in his place, the kid just didn’t have the skills to master the seminal 80s dance routine. "You're really sensitive for a selfish asshole." as Reid was starting to pout.

"No offense but why does everyone hate me?" Gideon said over speakerphone. JJ was angrily shredding straw wrappers and also trying to talk Reid down from actually groveling at Hotch’s wing-tips."I'm small, queer and something to fear."

Reid stormed off, crossing his arms over his chest in defiance. He tapped his toe, waiting for Hotch’s apology.  "I'm a strong independent introvert who don't need no social life."

Emily looked over the puddles of spilled drinks and empty beer bottles, as if seeing JJ for the first time. "She's beauty, she's grace, she's me."

Derek sat up, realizing Emily wasn’t in the comforting kink anymore. "I'm cute and perfect but also unstable, violent and self-destructive"

Garcia decided she should begin to wrap up the activity, too many people had left the table. Besides the next booking, a Bat Mitzvah, the family had begun bringing in decorations. "I'm beautiful and underappreciated."

Rossi was kissing the neck of the waitress in the corner, slipping the young Jewish kid a twenty to take pictures.  "To be honest I just need a hug."

Hotch was refusing to apologize to Reid, but he did know what would cheer him up. "Wanna watch this murder documentary with me?" He proudly held up his phone, teasing Reid’s curiosity.

JJ was sending spit wads across the table at Morgan while Emily kept score."I may act  like I'm clueless but actually know what's going on at all times."

Reid gave in and mumbled, "I try not to sound like an asshole but it's really hard because I am an asshole," to Hotch, who let him sit on his lap to finish the You Tube video together.

Emily looked between Derek and JJ’s turf war and shrugged her shoulders. “This could be less hetero.”

Derek clapped as JJ spiked another mushy ball into his glass. "I can tell myself to be heartless but in all reality, I have a big heart and can't treat people badly, that's just not me."

Penelope was in the corner, prying hand-sy Rossi off of the help. The waitress whined at the blonde, “Please! I'm so tired of not being a multimillionaire." She held out her hands in longing as the surprising strong tech angel pushed her back into the hallway.

Garcia stomped her feet in frustration. The team was a mess, they hadn’t even kept their hats on. Well except for JJ and Reid, but she was pretty sure she would have to cut JJ’s hat out of her hair later. “Guys? I'd love to relax but that's just not realistic."

Everyone stopped where they were. Hotch and Reid were watching the gag reel at the end of the documentary. JJ had won Emily in the battle of the spitballs, so she held her over her shoulder like a caveman and a fresh meal. Derek was trying to catch Rossi’s attention, because the Jewish kid was still recording with the famous author’s phone. Rossi was preening, trying to straighten his cowboy ensemble after his make out session.

Reid trembled at being chastised, again. "I don't have a nervous system. I'm a nervous system."

Hotch patted the thin man’s back, trying to console him. "I have this problem where I isolate myself from civilization and then get upset because I'm lonely."

Derek walked over to comfort Hotch now, "I'm the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person I know."

Emily was really annoyed at being carried around the room by now. "Why do I get struggles instead of snuggles?"

Rossi nodded at Garcia, she was done with this HR mandated crap fest. He graciously footed the bill and left.

Garcia stormed off closely behind the BAU veteran. Calling behind her back, "This is it, this is how I die: Lack of attention."

[daniellethamasa]

Hey all, Dani here.

I’ve seen a lot of blog posts and YouTube videos of people talking about their favorite books of the past decade (2010-2019), and it seemed like a fun idea, so why not do a post about so of my favorite books from the last decade. The problem was figuring out how to structure this post. I started using Goodreads in Fall 2010 because of library school, but I didn’t appreciate Goodreads or use it in an accurate fashion until something like 2013, so trying to use it to pick my favorite book of each year would be quite a bit inaccurate for a few years.

I saw Regan (PeruseProject on YouTube) set her Best Books of the Decade up by the year the book was published, and that seemed a bit more doable for me, even if it meant a bit more combing through my books.

So I started looking through my shelves, and for a couple years I only found one book that really stood out, but for other years I found 5 or 6 books. Basically I have narrowed each year down to one book, BUT I will have a few honorable mentions to add in as well, because well, I guess I just want to talk about a lot of books.

Okay, I’m going to start off with my honorable mentions.

2010: The Black Prism by Brent Weeks, The Magicians by Lev Grossman, Blood Bound by Rachel Vincent

2011: Bloodlines by Richelle Mead, The Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson, Ready Player One by Ernest Cline, Hounded by Kevin Hearne

2012: No Dominion by C.E. Murphy, Grave Mercy by Robin LaFevers, Kiss of Steel by Bec McMaster, Touch of Power by Maria V Snyder

2014: Dirty Magic by Jaye Wells

2015: Truthwitch by Susan Dennard, Every Last Word by Tamara Ireland Stone, A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab, The Monster of Selkirk Book I: The Duality of Nature by C.E. Clayton, Ink and Bone by Rachel Caine

2016: The Alchemists of Loom by Elise Kova, And I Darken by Kiersten White, Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo, Borderline by Mishell Baker

2017: The Bone Witch by Rin Chupeco, The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden, Victor Boone Will Save Us by David Joel Stevenston, Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde

2019: The Merciful Crow by Margaret Owen, Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir, Again, But Better by Christine Riccio, Seven Blades in Black by Sam Sykes

Whew, okay well there are all the honorable mentions. And with a list like that I bet you’re wondering which books made the final cut. Well, let’s get into them.

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Okay, so starting with 2010, I have to choose The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson. I just had to include a Sanderson book on this list. Of course the book that sticks in my mind the most is Mistborn, but it was published before the decade covered in this post. I think Brandon Sanderson creates amazingly complex and varied worlds and characters. Reading his books transports me far away from reality and really makes me think about so many different topics, which is always a delight.

The book published in 2011 I have chosen is The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern. I own this book in Hardcover, E-Book, and Audiobook, and I have enjoyed consuming it in each format. This story just feels so magical to me. The writing is beautiful and whimsical, and it sparks so much of my creativity and imagination that I can’t help but love it. Reading about this cast of characters and the circus they build is something I love to do every year or two.

My 2012 pick is Libriomancer by Jim C. Hines. Books about books or libraries are some of my favorites, and this one features a person with an ability to reach into a book and pull out an item from inside it. Now obviously there are limitations based on size and such, but for pretty much all of us bookworms would love to have the ability to either go into a book, or to bring something out from inside a book. This book, or rather this series, is wonderful for book lovers everywhere.

For 2013, the decision was easy, and that’s because I absolutely had to choose Colorworld by Rachel E Kelly. It was published at the end of 2013, and I discovered it at a convention in 2014, and since then this series has become one of my biggest obsessions and passions. And it all started by seeing that stunning Colorworld bubble cover and being drawn over to the table. Now we’re 8 books into the series, I’ve become a copy-editor for the series, Damian and I are going and working at conventions with Team Colorworld. It has been a whirlwind adventure, and I’m excited to see what this next decade brings to the story.

Okay, so we’ve made it to 2014, which means we’re basically at the halfway point for the decade. This was one of my absolute favorite books of the year, and coincidentally my favorite of the series. I’m talking about Secret by Brigid Kemmerer, which is the fourth book in the Elemental series (or the Merrick brothers series, which is how my brain usually thinks of it). I admit to loving all of the Merrick brothers, and these are stories that I was so absorbed into. There were so many great moments in these books, and I probably need to give the whole series a re-read sometime soon.

You’re Never Weird on the Internet (almost) by Felicia Day is my pick for 2015. This is the only non-fiction book on this list, though I could have considered Day’s 2019 release (Embrace Your Weird: Face Your Fears and Unleash Creativity) for the list as well. I think Felicia’s story is so wonderful and inspiring, and I have been a fan of “The Guild” and Geek & Sundry for a long time, so getting to read about Felicia’s nerdy creativity as well as her hard-working determination have truly helped to inspire me and help me start to figure out the path I want to take with my life, so I’m glad to have these books to help me along.

In 2016, I’m going to have to say that the book that has stuck with me most is Scythe by Neal Shusterman. I still honestly need to read The Toll, which is the final book in this trilogy. This was such a fascinating concept that was executed so brilliantly. I might actually have put off finishing the trilogy just a little bit because I’m not exactly ready for it to end. But I know I want to read them.

Welcome to 2017, where I’m not choosing a fantasy/sci-fi/dystopian book, but instead a contemporary book, because I have to choose Kat and Meg Conquer the World by Anna Priemaza. This was a wonderful geeky fandom story with a strong focus on female friendship, which is glorious and complex and complicated. This book will remain one of my favorites for a very long time.

Unlike the other years, I had such a difficult time finding books published in 2018 that stuck with me. That’s why there’s no honorable mentions above. I only found one book for this year, and that is Foundryside by Robert Jackson Bennett. The faction politics and the magic technology set-up was so utterly fascinating. I’m very excited to read the sequel to this book in a few months. I’m guessing that it’ll be just as amazing.

Okay, finally, it’s time to talk 2019, which was obviously the most difficult year to pick, but though I have so many favorite books from the year, there is one that I have been pretty much obsessive over since I heard about it in early 2018. And honestly here we are in early 2020 and I’m still obsessively talking about it. Of course I’m talking about Wicked Saints by Emily A Duncan. Considering my passion for Dungeons & Dragons, especially with my absolute adoration of the cleric class, this book definitely captured my interest. And now after reading the first two books in the trilogy, I can say that I’m still completely hooked on these characters and this story and world. I can’t wait to have a completed copy of book two in my hands in April, and then read the final book in 2021.

All right. Wow, this was a longer post than I originally thought. Oh well. That is all from me today, but I’ll be back soon with more bookish content. In the meantime, let me know some of your Best Books of the Decade, because I would love to see what books have stuck with you.

Best Books of the Decade Hey all, Dani here. I've seen a lot of blog posts and YouTube videos of people talking about their favorite books of the past decade (2010-2019), and it seemed like a fun idea, so why not do a post about so of my favorite books from the last decade.