#give that chicken some holy power

[galionne-speeding]

Watching the AoStH Chaos Emerald saga is all fun and games until you get to the MobEgypt episode and the Ancient Egypt history fangirl in the chat starts screaming

[stabortega]

NO SURPRISES — CHAPTER 03

Summary: Jenna's need to find out who you really are is prevailing, so is her arousal.

Pairings: Jenna Ortega x G!P!Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW. Implied fem reader, she/her pronouns used. Smut. Mentions of sex and kinks. Sexting, masturbation, voyeurism. Top!Reader x Bottom!Jenna. MDNI.

Author's note: Sorry to keep you guys waiting. I hope it was worth it, huh? Let me know what you think!

MASTERLIST!

(Y/N)xz: hey

(Y/N)xz: i'm so glad you decided to take up my offer

jenna2709: really?

(Y/N)xz: yeah

(Y/N)xz: i honestly thought you wouldn't say yes

jenna2709: i had to.

jenna2709: getting a private livestream from you isn't something you can get everyday.

(Y/N)xz: i can see you're very excited for that

jenna2709: i am.

jenna2709: what about you?

(Y/N)xz: counting the days

(Y/N)xz: wanted to see your face for quite sometime now

jenna2709: you've at least imagined what i look like by now, right?

(Y/N)xz: a little

(Y/N)xz: also the fact that i can only think about my coworker's face when i think of you it's a little bit strange

jenna2709: oh, why is that?

(Y/N)xz: it's because you guys have the same name

(Y/N)xz: which is weird because i see her everyday and we never even really talked

(Y/N)xz: maybe it's because she is the only jenna i know

(Y/N)xz: was*

(Y/N)xz: now i know you :)

jenna2709: i hope she's pretty enough for you.

jenna2709: i want you to imagine me as some pretty girl.

(Y/N)xz: she's gorgeous

(Y/N)xz: bet you're more, though

jenna2709: guess you'll find out soon enough.

"Okay, now you're being straight up mean." Jasmine said while eating a piece of her spring salad, while looking at her friend. "You said you're showing her your face and now you're suddenly giving up?"

"I'm not giving up, Jasmine. It's just, I don't know why I agreed." Jenna sighed, while trying to distract herself reading a couple of lines from her script. "And now she's gonna know who I am and she's gonna be so embarrassed. Fuck, it's gonna be so freaking awkward. I'm working with her every single day."

"How are you so sure they are the same person? Just because of a scar? Millions of people have scars." Jasmine said, which made Jenna wonder for a while: What if she was, in fact, losing her goddamn mind and they weren't the same person?

"No, I just remembered. They have the same voice, as well. I'm 99% sure." The younger actress would never admit it, but she was so afraid of that 1%. "And also, she has a few tattoos. If only I could at least see if she has those tattoos. But she's always wearing long sleeves, fuck. I'm definitely not gonna do that video call and that's final."

"You're being a chicken and you know it. What's the worse that can happen? If anything, you'll end up sucking her dick right on that nasty green couch in the break room." Jasmine felt a slap right on her left arm. "Hey! It's not like you're not gonna enjoy it! You seem like one of those kinky ass chicks who no one thinks that are actually kinky."

"Oh please, you should've seen her kink list from her profile." Jenna immediately regretted saying that. Mental note: Think about everything you're gonna say to Jasmine.

"Wait, what?!"

"Breeding, breath play, knife play- Oh fuck, she's crazy. Run. Run for your life! Run for the hills!" They laughed, while Jenna tried her best to hide her embarrassment. "Holy shit, she's that kinky. How the fuck do they have that?"

"When you sign up, you have to fill out your kink list. I thought you also had an account, dingus."

"I do, dingus, but the kink list is not mandatory." Jasmine stopped for awhile, until she thought for one second. "God, you filled yours?!"

"Give me my phone now." Jenna said, trying to look angry while Jasmine got up from the chair and started to run away with the latina's phone in her hand, trying to search the list on Jenna's profile.

"I have the power in my hands!" Jasmine and Jenna didn't knew how, but they ran until the parking lot, looking like two little sisters having an argument over a toy. "Girl, you're into that?" The black girl said, while laughing, which made Jenna angrier.

Before the younger one could even respond to that, she felt a body crash against hers, making her almost fall over to the floor, but thankfully her body was held in time to prevent that from happening. "Hey, are you alright?"

Fuck, it was you.

"Yeah, I'm sorry... Jasmine- She had- " Jenna tried to speak but ended up mumbling all of the words. The way your strong arms held her, your woody perfume which she swore it was the best scent she has ever smelled in her life, your face looking at her as if you were the only thing that mattered in the world.

"Don't worry about that, just try to be careful next time, okay?" You almost were talking down to her, as if she was a little kid, which was something that would immediately make Jenna hate you. Since she started working as a child, having people treat her as one made her blood boil. But no, not this time. "I was actually looking for you."

"Really?" Jenna said, after recomposing herself, her worries about her phone were long gone. Jasmine could see her nude pics, for all she cared. All she could think about was the fact that you were looking for her.

"Yeah, I kinda needed to adjust some of the camera's settings before we start shooting." Oh, okay. At least she thought about me first, she considered. "You know, saturation, contrast and stuff. Need to do with the whole cast, actually." She knew what it was, she had to do that at least, a hundred times over the course of her career. But god, you looked so cute while explaining it.

"Yeah, yeah, we can do that. I just need to get my phone and I'll be there." Jenna said, trying to seem as casual as possible, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear for god knows whatever reason.

"Alright, I'll be at stage 5. And try to not run like that again, okay? You could really get hurt." You smiled sympathetically to her, it wasn't visible to you but Jenna's heart was fluttering as if she was a teenage girl who just spoke to the most popular boy at school.

"Yeah, sure... I'll be careful, totally." She smiled back, before watching you leave, her legs almost giving up on her before hearing Jasmine's voice behind her, driving her out of her thoughts.

"Oh, (Y/N), I'll be careful, I swear! I'll promise I will never ever fall again, unless you're here to hold me in your arms, oh god!" Jenna rolled her eyes, jokingly, while snatching her phone away from Jasmine's hands. "I mean it, either she's the most oblivious person on the planet or you just straight up told her you want her P in your V with your body language."

"It wasn't that obvious, Jasmine. You're being too much."

"Girl, the tension was almost palpable. Please hope that she's stupid enough to let this pass. What were you guys talking about, anyways?"

"She wants to adjust some of the camera's colour settings and needs me to be there. And also the entire cast, as well. But she asked me first, that must be something right?"

"Literally nothing, Jenna." The latina rolled her eyes, ignoring her friend. "But still, you can use that opportunity to figure out if she's really the chick from the website. Try to find out if she has those tattoos you saw on the livestream."

"Thankfully you had a good idea, for once."

"And if she's really her, you can suck on her balls without feeling guilty."

"You're not helping." Jenna sighed, running her hands through her hair. "I'm gonna kill myself tonight."

"For a girl with a pussy like yours, that would be a waste."

"You'd seen my pictures?!" Jenna looked at her friend furiously, wide-eyed.

"Oh my god I was joking, do you really have pussy pics?!"

"I hate you!" She almost screamed before leaving a laughing Jasmine behind. Jenna was nervous, of course. You guys started filming this week, and throughout the entire period you guys were there, she tried her best to avoid you due to the fact that she was, actually, a chicken. You guys didn't even spoke much, that only one occasion a couple of moments ago being the first real conversation you guys had. Just, being around you made her nervous. And it wasn't even because of the streams she's been watching. It's just, you're you. Your body language, your voice, the way you act around set, you seem so freaking professional and Jenna was a sucker for that. The way you dressed, the way you took care of everyone who worked with you. She has been with her eye on you every day ever since she met you, and she's been watching you very closely. Everything about you drove Jenna insane, and surprisingly, she liked that.

After a couple of minutes walking through set, with her hands sweating and lots of heavy breathing, she finally made it into stage 5. You were there with a couple of people from production; some of them working on their own stuff, and a couple of guys talking about you while you held one of the cameras that would be used through filming. You were laughing a bit, something that made Jenna's heart flutter. Damn it.

"Yeah, and he was the kind of guy who wouldn't - Oh, hey Jenna! Talk to you guys later, okay?" You politely dismissed the guys you were talking to as soon as you saw Jenna enter your field of vision. Fuck, why did you have to be so well mannered? "Are you ready to look at me for a couple of hours?"

"I'm- I-" Jenna stuttered, making you laugh a little bit. She was being kinda cute, you thought.

"Relax, I'm joking. It'll be only a couple of minutes. I promise you don't have to get stuck with me for more than that." But I would definitely like to, Jenna thought to herself. "Can you stand on that mark for me, please?" Oh, she would do anything for you if you asked her like that again. So she stood on that mark, five feet away from you, while you put the camera on the tripod, already connected to the monitors and software responsible for editing. Jenna looked straight at the lenses, but thankfully she got to look at you while you set things up, and oh god you were a sight for sore eyes.

"Okay, can you look at the little red dot for me, please?" She almost hated you for being so polite, and obviously did what you asked. You would never admit that in front of anyone, but Jenna was truly one of the most beautiful women you'd ever seen. Looking at her through the lenses was definitely the best part of this job.

"So, you've been working with this for a while?" Jenna said, wanting to start some small talk in order to find out more about you (and your tattoos, obviously).

"Um, not really. I finished college a couple of months ago, this is my first real job as a videographer. Dave was nice enough to put me under his wing and be my mentor, actually." You said while pressing some buttons on the camera and typing on the keyboard under the monitors. "I've worked in movie sets while in college, but mostly I just held microphones and cleaned camera lenses."

"For someone who already graduated, you seem really young. How old are you?" Jenna couldn't remember if your profile said you were twenty-three or twenty-four.

"Oh, thanks. You don't look so bad yourself, either." Jenna really hoped you were flirting with her (deep down, she kinda knew you weren't). "I'm twenty-four, actually."

"Really? You look really young." Jenna smiled slightly, secretly looking at you while you were pressing more buttons which she wouldn't even bother knowing what they did. "I get that a lot, too. I'm only twenty-one, but people think I'm seventeen most of the times."

"That must be annoying, huh?" You looked at her face through the lenses again, the adjusted lighting making her look more beautiful that she already was, if that's possible.

"Oh, you have no idea. I'm almost getting a tattoo on my forehead that says 'No longer a minor'." You both laughed for a moment. "Do you have any?"

"Tattoos? Yeah, just a couple." Fuck, she was close. She just needed to see one of them.

"Do they hurt a lot? I wanted to get one but I'm kinda scared." She wasn't.

"Yeah, a little. Nothing you can't handle." You stopped doing what you were doing to come a bit closer, which made the latina hold her breath for a second. "This one was the worst, definitely."

You lift up the hem of your shirt just a little, but enough for Jenna to see your slightly muscular v-line. Oh fuck, she felt like passing out. Until you showed her your tattoo, it was a roman number that Jenna couldn't even bother to figure out what it meant, but one thing was for sure: it was the same tattoo she had seen on the streams.

"That's cute..." She tried her best not to sound suspicious. You smiled and started to get back behind the camera.

"That one hurt like a bitch, I swear." You laughed a bit, before pressing the final buttons on the camera. "I think we're done! Can I take a video of you to see if the settings worked out?" Jenna only could nod, the thought of having you abdomen close to her mouth and not being able to lick it was the most traumatic experience of her life. "Okay, can you smile for me?"

And like the whipped bitch she was, she happily did. You shot the video for a couple of seconds and saved it, looking at it for a bit before gazing at the girl again. "Okay, that's pretty much it. Thank you for coming here, yeah?"

"Sure, no problem." She was almost shaking, she hated the fact you were such a sweetheart while at work, and at the website you acted like the lesbian version of Magic Mike. So, she left. Regretting the fact she didn't even made her move because being around you was intimidating enough to keep her from breathing properly, but at least she did what she was there to do: she knew, for sure, that you were the person she thought you were. And now, she had another issue to deal with.

Thankfully, you guys scheduled the video chat for tomorrow. Jenna knew that today she wasn't ready to reveal her face to the person who's been occupying her thoughts for the past few days. So, she did what she's been religiously doing for the past week. Locked her hotel room door, put her headphones on and relaxed while watching your stream. Only god knows how much she missed watching you stroke your cock while moaning softly and talking the filthiest shit ever. Jenna turned on her laptop and went on the website, which by now was marked as her favorite, and as usual, you were already there.

This time around, Jenna just wanted to enjoy watching you. No games or teasing, she genuinely wanted to look at you while you pleased yourself in front of her.

"Hey guys, how are y'all doing? Hope y'all are doing great." Even now, you were the most polite person ever. Fuck, she hated that. And you. She hated you. Definitely despised you.

You interacted with the chat for a couple of minutes, before really starting to put on your show. Obviously you knew "jenna2709" was watching, and now, even though you would never admit it, you liked putting your show to her, and only her. So now, you were dedicated to deliver the best show you could ever do. "I'm gonna try something different today, if you guys don't mind. But I'm sure you guys are gonna love it as much as I am."

Your hardened cock was already starting to pulse in your pants, so you were quick enough to unbutton your jeans and let your member spring free. Jenna's mouth watered at the sight of your throbbing cock, making her wish she could lick all of your pre-cum off of your tip.

For all these days Jenna's been watching you, she has never touched herself while you were streaming. Mainly because she was scared that once she did, she wouldn't be able to look at your face again out of embarrassment. But it seemed that every stream that she's watched, it got harder and harder to maintain her posture.

Jenna looked at you while you slowly stroked your dick, which started to made her anxious. She knew you had to tease in order to keep your viewers watching (which is why Jenna was the one emptying her bank account to you so you could cum faster). That same odd feeling on the pit of her stomach started to become more and more present, and she hated the fact the she couldn't just cave in and thrust two fingers inside of her aching cunt. You drove her out of her thoughts when you grabbed something from behind your camera, which made Jenna curious to what it was, exactly. And then she realized it was a tiny silicone ass toy, with an small opening right at the vagina. Oh, fuck.

"Do you guys ever think about someone while jacking off or is it just me?" You asked your viewers while putting a litte bit of lube on the toy. You would never admit this on camera, but you obviously were talking about Jenna. Not Jenna, your coworker, of course. But there was something about Jenna, your viewer, that made you intrigued: you didn't even knew what she look like, but all of the conversations you had in this past week made you wonder who was she, and what she was doing watch you religiously every night? What was it about you that made her so committed? The was she spoke to you in your chat, the way she tipped you just so you could cum for her, and her only. It's safe to say that, even without knowing what her face looked like (and trying your best not to think about Jenna, your coworker, because they shared the same name, of course), you started to think about her in those extremely intimate moments.

"So you got someone on your mind now, huh?" One of the viewers asked in the chat, which made Jenna anxious for the answer. If you were thinking about someone else, she would definitely want to know who it was.

"Yes and no. Maybe if I knew how she looked like, exactly, then she would 100% be occupying my head." You laughed a bit. Thank god your viewers couldn't see your face, because it was flushed red from embarrassment. You shrugged it off and started to tease the tip of your cock right onto the toy's pussy, wanting to get your viewers more excited. Which, of course, worked every single time.

Wow! "jenna2709" donated $300 with the message: you know i hate it when you tease.

"I know you do, baby. That's why it's so fun." You laughed again, holding your cock by the base while still rubbing your tip onto the toy. Little did Jenna knew, but deep down, you were teasing just to get her attention.

jenna2709: what's the fun of being an annoying tease, huh?

"Being able to frustrate you." Jenna sighed. Oh, you were a demon. How could someone that was so polite and well mannered at work, behaved like this when the night came? "Come on, we both know that you enjoy this."

jenna2709: more than i care to admit.

"Alright, I'll stop being mean, okay? Let me give you what you've been waiting for, baby." You slowly penetrated your dick into the toy, which immediately made you drag out a raspy and low moan. The tightness of the toy was beginning to drive you insane, and for a brief second you wished you had Jenna's pussy around your cock, instead of a fake silicone one.

"Fuck." Jenna whispered to herself, feeling her underwear getting ruined for the fifth time this week. She felt her clit throb and pulse, it was incredible that you didn't even had to do anything huge to get Jenna turned on, just by breathing you aroused the shit out of her. "No. Pull yourself together."

jenna2709: i would kill someone to be in this toy's place.

"And I would kill someone to have you right here, right now." You started to slowly thrust your member inside of the tight, yet slightly slippery toy, your moaning now becoming louder and louder. Thankfully the hotel doors weren't thin enough, so you could be considerably loud without worrying about other people in the floor. Unbeknownst to you, "jenna2709" was just down the hallway watching you, in the verge of tears trying her best not to succumb to her primal desires and touch herself. "Fuck, this feels so good..."

jenna2709: you're making it impossible for me to not touch myself.

"Why don't you, baby? Maybe we get to cum together this time around, huh?" That seemed like an irresistible offer that Jenna really, really wanted to accept and decline, at the same time. For some reason, you figured that she was depriving herself of something good and a part of you wanted to just leave it that way, maybe she had her own reasons to just stand still while watching your streams. But another part of you really wanted to have some fun with this. So, like the devil you and Jenna knew you were, you licked your thumb and started to make circular motions over the toy's clit, while thrusting your cock steadily inside of it. "Don't you wish I was doing that to you?"

"Oh my fucking god." Jenna couldn't hold it in anymore. She tried, god, she really tried. But it was too much, even for her. Without thinking about the day after, she pulled down her pants alongside with her underwear and finally decided to give her pussy some attention. She was dripping wet, not ironically wetting her sheets in the process, but she wasn't even paying attention to those details. The only thing she cared enough to do was to thrust one finger inside her throbbing, aching cunt. Which, of course, she did. And the immediate feeling of relief took over her entire body the minute she felt her finger inside of her. Jenna felt dirty, as she was the pastor's daughter in a small town who just met an outlaw that tricked her into all those things. But damn, it felt good to be dirty and tricked. She started to thrust slowly, giving the fact she didn't masturbated often and she was just getting used to the feeling of her own finger inside her tight pussy. But, for some reason and for the first time, it wasn't enough. She needed more, and she wanted more. Fuck, she just wanted you.

"God, this is so fucking tight..." You moaned, more to yourself than to your stream, which drove Jenna out of her thoughts. She looked at you, fucking that toy while sweat was dripping off your body, and your low moaning was captured through your microphone. You were the hottest person she has ever met in her entire life.

jenna2709: you were right, maybe this time around we do get to cum together.

Jenna typed, without feeling anxious or nervous like the previous times. She couldn't give a rat's ass anymore. She already touched herself, she gave you money for every little thing you did on stream, so why even bother? It felt good. Fuck, it felt so good and she didn't even knew why she deprived herself from that for so long. So, without thinking about it, she added a second finger inside of her, hoping it would fulfill her needs just as you would.

"Maybe next time, I get to cum in you." You were bold for saying that. But in your head, after your guys' private stream, you were both gonna fall madly in love and have a relationship that seemed right out of a movie screen. The last thing you would think about is the fact that the girl you've been thinking about for fhe past few days is, in fact, one of the actresses of a movie you're helping to produce. And one of the world's most famous and extraordinary actresses, actually. "And we both know how much you would enjoy that."

At that point, Jenna was the only one there, for all you cared. I mean, you had almost 2k people who watched you every single day, but sometimes it felt like you and her were the only ones existing in the world. I mean, your chat didn't seemed to mind, most of them were just voyeurs who got off by watching random people online, so what's the harm?

Unbeknownst to Jenna, you were already close to your orgasm. The tightness of the toy and all of the dirty talking you both have been sharing, it was getting pretty hard to hold it in any longer. So, without further notice, you decided to violently thrust your throbbing member inside of that silicone pussy, wanting to get to your high as quickly as possible. You slapped the toy's ass a couple of times, but you knew that if that was a real person (Jenna, you wanted it to be Jenna), you would be saying the most filthy things on her ear while slapping her ass until it became bruised. It killed you not being able to do that. And it killed Jenna too.

jenna2709: fuck, you look so beautiful like this.

And she wasn't any different either. Her hand was soaked by now and the two fingers weren't even close to being enough for her, but for now, they would have to do. With her spare hand, Jenna cupped one of her breasts in order to get closer and closer to her high, while her hand just aggressively thrusted inside of her tight hole. "F-Fuck, I'm almost..."

And you were almost there too, but this time, you wanted to make sure to give Jenna the best experience she could ever get. "Tell me, where do want me to cum?" You asked the whole chat, but in a way, you only wanted to hear Jenna's answer. The chat filled itself with loads of messages, some people wanting for you to come inside, other wanting for you to cum on your stomach.

jenna2709: inside of my pussy, please.

"Your wish is my command." And so you did, you came right into that toy's cunt with a loud and dragged moan, closing your eyes and thinking about how it would feel if you actually came inside of Jenna. You felt your hips spasm into the toy, while you rode out your high and tried your best not to moan any louder than you already did. Little did you know that, down the hallway, Jenna was also having her orgasm just by looking at you. She closed her eyes and thursted the hardest she could until she finally came, with a soft whimper of your name, feeling her juices oozing out of her cunt. She felt one or two tears stream down her face from that overwhelming feeling, riding out her high while looking at you, wishing you were there beside her. You pulled your cock out of that toy, your thick cum dripping down to the floor which made Jenna's mouth water again. She would commit crimes just to be able to lick your cum out of that toy.

And now, Jenna felt embarrassed again. Tomorrow at work, she would have to look at your face and act normally all over again, trying to hide the fact that you were the reason she had a mind blowing orgasm and cried while moaning your name. And also, she would have to think of a way to dodge your private stream, or face her fears and reveal her identity, risking to ruin your work environment for all of the next months that you guys would work together. Either way, she didn't wanted to do any of those two things.

Wow! "jenna2709" donated $1000 with the message: consider this as a thank you.

[fumifooms]

Thistle & Falin

Just my narrative of Thistle & Falin, collection of shippy thoughts and dynamic analysis. Creating some imagery and threads, etc. What if we both made devotion to our loved ones our purpose, what if we both hadn’t lived for ourselves in a long, long time. Who are we? Beyond who we love and our powers, what are we?

Background info: a short Falin analysis touching on Faligon and Thistle + an old thistlin post, compiling most of their moments. Here I delve into further thoughts but for base analysis of what they have in canon and in potential those are good starts. If you want I also have a full Falin analysis.

Disclaimer: Beyond the nebulous 1000 years I place Thistle as a young adult, and though I agree Falin mothers him to some degree I don’t think it’s unsimilar to the way that Marcille is a mom friend that sometimes mothers Falin and Izutsumi especially. Their relationship has layers like every other one in Dunmeshi, reducing it to being incestuously motherly or age discoursy to justify it being problematic is so funny to me, hello did you miss the mind control. Ah yes I love the 1090 yo with godlike powers being groomed by his chicken slave. You can have your own interpretation but canon is ambiguous enough, and dare I say intentionally ambiguous, that I have no qualms with not infantilizing Thistle, same with Yaad at the end of canon. I do ship Thistle and Falin, and although it’s in a nebulous qpr-or-other third secret thing situationship instead of conventionally romantic way, like, I puke on anything giving them a parental framing so don’t come shitting on my doorstep, kid-Thistle truthers be warned. Only nuance enjoyers allowed on this post. It’s valid if you’re uncomfortable with the ship!! Don’t make your issue others’ problem.

I thankfully finished my Falin analysis before posting this, but besides that I also have an analysis coming on the whole Thistle age thing which I think is interesting, beyond the well being poisoned there are things to explore there, idk in how long that’ll be done though. That’s all for plans that are relevant to this, now let’s get into it.

Part 1

So my favorite Falin things are Faligon + her sense of being like a pawn/misplaced, going on autopilot to follow the wishes of others, a feeling of identity being a burden and sort of fleeing from that, and her not really caring in the way/with the intensity that she’s "supposed" to (as per the points I go over in my Falin analysis). Meanwhile, Thistle has a lot of shit going on already but then there’s also how being a dungeon lord is highly wearing on his mind. As Faligon and as dungeon lord Thistle, the way they’re both so out of touch with reality in different ways holy shit?? They have power imbalance between them and it very much comes from mind control lol, but it’s also not something Thistle is fully aware of himself, because the powers are driving him unstable and he’s not even aware there’s someone in front of him really. He’s so out of it that he can’t even recognize that the dragon has been fused with a human and she’s so out of it we can’t even tell how conscious of her actions she is.

And then the interesting thing is that they’re kind of in it together… Mostly from Falin’s standpoint. We see that he does rely on the dragon increasingly so, hanging out with it, being saved by it and embraced by her etc. When he lets them both fall after breaking the web they were hanging from, he automatically, fully and wordlessly trusts her to catch him, instead of relying on magic or anything, and she does. Falin devotes herself to him but he’s devoted to The Cause which is just chasing ghosts at this point. But despite it all there’s a weird comfort here too… From the guy who in his last moment of lucidity reached out for someone, anyone’s hand, from the guy who hasn’t felt companionship in hundreds of years probably, hasn’t taken it slow and slept and eaten in who knows how long, from the girl who feels compelled to care after him like she’s always done with others… And the beast-ness allows her to have some freedom to figure herself out in a weird way, to simply enjoy being beside someone and doing anything her own whims tell her to.

It’s very destructive and weird and layered but like…. I can see the sliver where it works out. Where her kindness reaches him and he has a moment of lucidity where he sees her and it’s like, wait, who are you, you’re not the dragon?? Where finding someone else who feels just as messed up and devoted as them, like they’re just trudging along life like it’s a dream following their loved one, heals them a bit. Where caring for the other becomes a way to care for themselves too, a dark mirror of each other that shows you, oh, this is how bad it can get and I want to choose something else for myself actually. To grow to see the person standing in front of you, instead of only searching with your eyes in what way they’ll reflect on you. In helping each other, finding some companionship that’s weirdly vulnerable and self-healing. He gets her in touch with herself and her own needs again through the arc and conflict they have, and she gets him in touch with the world and his surroundings again. They have clashing ways to be selfless, very self-sacrificial from Falin meanwhike self-centered with Thistle (he ‘knows best’, ‘everything needs to be left to him’, etc etc, he needs the control, but he does it all for others, meanwhile Falin leaves that control to others and only grabs it for herself in exceptional cases like sacrificing herself to the dragon for Laios).

Like just let yourself be, damn!!! So then them being like, zombie mentally stunted babies kind of enhances that theme in a way too lol. The way they communicate together is very… Instinctive and basic, and I’d love to see how it could develop into a functional dynamic. They’re in ‘learning to be your own person’ kindergarten together to me. Thistle looking at her coloring wildly outside the lines and being like "you’re doing it wrong" and then you look at his and he colored everything a weird color. The precision is scary but then his crayon goes 1 mm out of the lines and he blows up into tears. Ok the metaphor has run its course

So yeah like the ship/brotp is very, them being isolated and against the world together and like… Slowly regaining their minds together. Getting their sense of identity grounded into them again. In my mind they have a 50k words adventure where they hang out and he slowly realizes there’s more to her than just dragon and she encourages him to dawdle around and eventually just play in water and shit and it’s like, starting to see life again beyond the laser focus you limited yourself to… And she’s allowed to just chill out and do whatever she wants besides the whole searching for Delgal thing. You can’t tie down a dragon! They are a duo they are an unit‼️ He’d have been fucked without her and at this point in time he sort of made her and he’s her world. Traumabonded kittens do not separate but it’s onesided in different ways haha. Honestly it’s sort of reflavored mickuro wait fuck…

If nothing else, they’re a very interesting dynamic to ponder. The depths of it all… I want to use them as a social experiment. I want them to stop to smell at the flowers and learn to work together… They’re master and servant they’re owner and pet they’re mothering and mothered (in a guardian hound way, in a mom friend way) they’re both incredibly (emotionally and physically) vulnerable in different ways…… Master and monster if you will. Mostly I see them as guardian & leader. Like I said I ship them but it’s not really romantic atp I think but it’s not quite qpr either it’s truly a weird secret third thing… What if we were sort of coworkers but also ?!!!>??????! You should hate me but you fiercely protect me I should appreciate you but I only see you as a tool WHAT IS GOING ONNN IN THERE

He wants to be protected even if he can’t really admit it. Here the catalyst was emotional distress moreso than physical threat. Notice how he lays there under her wing for a bit as he (refuses to) processes what Mithrun told him about Delgal dying and betraying him. She’s becoming his safety net, his comfort hound. Somehow, the both of them find they’re soothed in each other’s presence.

It kills me. Them being so toxic at the start of it, then somehow ambiguously just hinting towards how things could have went on to be better, could have been headed somewhere nice and healing and healthier, she dies and he dies everyone fucking dies and they forget each other and it ends there they never speak of each other again. Canon wanted me dead specifically. Like remember too that I was there when the last chapters where being released, my ass really was like "Oh I wonder how Falin will react seeing Thistle after being revived!" 🤡 But yess at least that means there’s a lot of Unsaid, a lot of space for speculation, and I want to see what could have been. I want to see it so so bad. It’s so interesting

Post-canon is also so interesting, where they’re sort of recovered but not fully not really, them actually getting to know each other… And she doesn’t remember him but he doesn’t remember her either, in a way they’ve never met even though they have, even though she was the first one on his side since so long, the first hint of companionship he’s had, companionship that he’s so unused to getting that he can’t even recognize it for what it is. He couldn’t even recognize a human standing in front of him!! He is so disconnected from others and the world!! He spoke to ghosts like they had no worries in the world and everyone was ok!! He’s out of touch, tone-deaf af!! Has always been tone-deaf!! Being tone-deaf when he was younger, a stick in the mud, caused him to be more isolated than he already was… Autism4autism, anyways—

It’s them not knowing why or how to express it but being drawn together, a bond forged together by the fire of circumstances and coincidences— or is it only that? No one can know for certain but there’s a grip they have on each other there somehow. Weird distant caring thing. I dont know who you are but I feel like I should know you

It’s like my headcanon that she doesn’t know why, but on her travels she feels something when she comes across wild thistle flowers… There are just faint remnants, whispers of feelings like ghosts.

They should be remnants in each other’s lives. A deja vu of a person in the way Falin hugs small dolls to her chest, or how Thistle reminisces of something when he sees bird feathers discarded on the ground. < This paragraph courtesy of @cabinette’s huge brain

He canonically writes poems btw… Poems would be such a good way for him to get in touch with himself again post-canon, find desires in again and get creative fulfillment. He should make poems about her. To explore and vent and express all the vague feelings and memories he has, both those of during canon and after canon. He doesn’t remember her but he remembers her, slivers of kind eyes and warm gentle hands and healing magic like a blanket…

Yaad, an unlicensed therapist but the best you're gonna get in fantasy land: Maybe you should try journaling.

And too the thing is their relationship with each other in a way is ONLY about themselves, even when Falin is being self-sacrifical it’s less about him and more about how she generally is, that sort of instinct to latch onto someone and just follow along with whatever they do and ask, meanwhile to Thistle she’s only ever been a factor in his plans. Idk idk them getting to that point where they see and know each other, stumbling into that through canon or actively working towards it post-canon, there’s weird beauty in that Like. Thistle cares about her because he’ll take anyone as long as they fit the job description well enough, he’s desperate to find Delgal and will grasp at straws to find him. In a similar way that he’ll reach for someone, anyone’s hand on the verge of death, she seeks to protect someone, anyone. That’s how she centers herself, makes someone her compass and her world. Falin wants to protect someone and Thistle would use anyone, pushed to the states they were in they would latch onto anyone for comfort (caring for him, grabbing Marcille’s hand).

Mirrors truly truly. And Thistle likes to shatter those, and silence anyone who tries to talk to him about reality, so then the option left is to be by him quietly and subtly gradually, gently (her specialty) nudge him in the right direction … Nooo but actually why did he shatter those mirrors. Very interesting to think about. Would seeing himself in others anger him?

I like to call him a ghost of who he was sometimes, a ghost of the past, he’s so haunted, and I think there’s fun imagery there too. The care she offers Thistle somewhat reminds me of the one she offers ghosts. I wonder if part of it is that she sees herself in ghosts, that she wants to offer them freedom and peace of mind she can’t get for herself.

And of course meanwhile on her end, the thistlin arc is also about growing self-respect. I don’t want to see Thistle as a lost cause in saying that her efforts are wasted on him, but being so permissive and invested in him is obviously not healthy for her. She needs to learn when to put her foot down

Oooh, just realized that choosing to eat in this scene was a big character moment all things considered. By eating she faltered in her task, stood up for herself and her needs, was selfish for once (/positive go get your damn food girl). She chose to eat. Anyways

I bet he’s the one who healed her wounds after the Shuro party fight. And on that note— it’s interesting he could change her form from Falin to Faligon without touching her isn’t it? Healing by everyone else like Marcille and Falin always required touch, physical contact between the healer and healee, which some like Chilchuck say is a negative, but… The dungeon lord not needing to touch to heal makes a nice metaphor for how isolating the powers are I think. Truly clinical instead of warm. Theme of community and freely offering affection in Dungeon Meshi etc etc. Like I said, Thistle is out of touch.

The way that he has the powers to change her form and heal and like soo much magic power but he can’t even realize when he’s hurting himself and she’s the one who has to heal him. He’s so fully devoted to the cause even when he acts selfishly that he neglects himself too, and she has to remind him to take care of himself, to eat, etc. That she feeds him. Eating is an act of love to yourself and to life. The berries, the curry, the soup that Thistle refuses to eat—

Do you see the vision. Do you see all the narrative relevance and themes and parallels of their dynamic. To chase ghosts, to cling onto them so they stay with you no matter how warped and ugly they get, and to soothe souls, purifying them and helping them depart for the afterlife… Both magic prodigies whose lives revolve around protecting and caring after their loved ones more than anything else. A family member who looks elsewhere while they are their whole world. They can flee their emotional issues together 🤝 Who are we? Beyond who we love and our power, what are we? I think about the way she cradled him in her arms just before they fell down into the dungeon all the time idk idk

^ End notes from the one fic I wrote about them so far: Slivers, on AO3. For a moment, they were both slivers of themselves, bound together.

Thistle feverishly holding onto ghosts of the past and his source of power, meanwhile Falin cradles the people she can protect in the now with the powers that reside in her… Him cradling his book, her cradling her master……… Parallels

Interlude

And yess it’s important to remember too, Thistle became a mage only after delgal asked… He had innate talent, but moreso than Falin it’s through studies that he learned to actually harness his magic etc. Idk I think it’s an interesting parallel that could have interesting stuff be done on it. People often characterize him as predominantly bratty but. He’s smart and composed he’s mainly smart and composed… He’s unstable and everything during canon was happening all at once with the winged lion being freed and Laios’ party and the canaries and agh </3 He can have a meltdown as a treat he’s smart and cool-headed if it wasn’t for the dungeon wearing on his mind ok… Obvi I love my chars with anger issues but saying he’s overly childish is having tunnel vision I think

Ok so the elephant in the room… First of all how present is Falin in Falugon exactly…… We have no clue. The end sequence does show her in purgatory with a dragon foot holding her down, which can easily be read as it suppressing her personality- with how it’s shown though it feels like she’d be fully suppressed by that? And we know that’s not the case, since not only does she recognize Laios and calls out to him, she hesitates to hurt Kuro because of the dog association, she’s excessively kind towards Thistle, the latter which her Adventurer’s Bible profile confirm to be "her kind nature remaining as the chimera". Maybe it’s a dream-like state? Maybe the dragon is the driving force with the instincts, and it’s only bits of Falin and her personality that show through? A state of mind very primal and not very think-y, even if Falin has enough brains to think of sharing the berries, gesturing and oh- of course, casting magic. No issues with controlling the human half of her body as well. To some degree, her and the dragon are working in tandem. My own preferred interpretation is the driven by instincts one, a state of mind like an actual dragon’s, which in my Falin analysis I delve into the significance of it for other parts of Dunmeshi too. So yeah, dreamlike mindless autopilot… I think exploring her pov as Faligon would go super hard. Aware of her surroundings but sort of disconnected with it, and disconnected from herself too, entirely living in the present… And like with her talking to Laios— the only time she speaks in her chimera form, a simple observation, "Laios, brother", sometimes her human thoughts peek through more sharply, short moments of lucidity… I think it’d be interesting to see an arc where as the chimera, she learns to share the "brainspace" more with the dragon.

It’s also unclear if Thistle had a say in how much of ‘Falin the human’ is in control? He very well might have suppressed her somehow when he changed her form to be more dragonlike. That might also be due to just getting back the dragon meat though— and the dragon meat itself might be why/how the brainspace is shared. There is a lot less of Falin’s body in the chimera than there is of the dragon, body mass wise. Dungeon Meshi is a lot about physicality so I wouldn’t be surprised with this reasoning. But there’s the whole mind control soul bond situation too…

The mind bond is another thing that’s left mostly to interpretation when it comes to the details. She feels compelled to listen to the dungeon lord’s orders as a monster created and owned by it, like the dragons Thistle summoned during the fight at his house, but again like we see with the dragons, if the monster has a "strong will" it can disobey to some level without being punished by the bind or anything. The eyes of the magician, the small wyverns, level-of-control wise can’t be accurate examples because they’re sort of like familiars, Thistle can see through their eyes in real time no matter where they are but it’s only this species as far as we know. So otherwise the mind bond is more subtle… There’s also the question of how much the control is shared between the dungeon lord and the demon, which again Thistle’s situation is exceptional because he managed to seal his demon in a book, presumably all the power goes through Thistle without the intermediate of the winged lion, though we do see he has some reach since he reaches Laios through his dreams. ANYWAYS all that to say. I do really ponder about how a dungeon lord's monsters get their orders, like... For the fight on the first floor, did Falin just feel Thistle's agony in her bones and came clawing and barging her way in desperately and angrily to protect him because of his distress, or did he more directly demand she come, consciously or not?! Idk, since Falin is actively protective of him unlike the dragons who reluctantly listen to him, her being very fast and intense about it doesn’t have to be forced… It’d be interesting if she can sense his feelings, wants or thoughts, bc I don’t think it’s as conscious as like, telepathically communicating "hey you, do this"…? Pondering, pondering. Mind bond <3 Soulbound <3

They’re both very trapped in the past… I wonder if as Faligon a lot of her mind goes back to memories of Laios and such, if she’s in a dreamlike state and not just sort of absent, where would her mind retreat... I don’t think so like I said I think she’s mostly driven by dragonlike mindlessness, but still… Thistle stuck in the search of Delgal, thinking back to everything they’ve shared and where it all went wrong obsessively, and Falin, sort of larping that she’s still beside Laios, not unlike how Thistle treats having the corpses of the royal family at his house like them being safe. Delusions. Idk I just want more character studies.

The metaphors in this truly… It’s not literal, like def not something that happens during canon at no point are they or could be ever atop a mountain of frames and paintings of the Golden Kingdom’s royal family and fine art lmaoo, so then like the meaning behind it all… She offers him reprieve, an outsider from all the Golden Kingdom expectations and drama, just someone warm to lean on, someone who’ll stay…….. I love Faligon pushing him to rest and nap so much. Man has first nap in a thousand years. Feather duvet like a nice warm pillow. The peace she offers him man……. Live in the present bbygirl Unfortunately it doesn't help. Look at them eyebags… Man needs to sleep!!

Part 2

^ This panels drives me crazy It’s the possessivity. It’s the "my". It’s the "stealing".

What if you have fear of abandonment and think you have to prove your worth for people to stay by your side. What if belonging to someone makes you feel like you belong and you feel loved and soothed by it lowkey, feel like it makes things easy. What if I was bought as a slave and servant but I was adopted into a pretty loving family. What if ownership is what love looks like to me. What if that’s why I have no problem rationalizing keeping people against their will in a glorified kingdom-prison, because that’s just what someone with the power who Knows Better does, and… Did he always call her his dragon hello? Feelings

He is not letting it go damn He hates when people mess with what's his. Or Delgal’s.

But imagine. The dragon is like, the last thing he has. The Golden Kingdom has moved on from him, everything is shit, but his dragon is the last thing he still has some realm of like. Ownership over. But that ownership is kinda just his sense of belonging. His role, his duty.  So it’s like "Don’t steal the last thing I have" especially if post-canon… It’s thinking from his time as a jester bought into a loving family that ownership is natural in love and care. It’s thinking that’s the way you get to belong beside someone, beside earning that through achievements and being useful and capable. Everything is being stolen away from him. Control and things and people and even the importance he has to the Golden Kingdom as he becomes part of the background & past history and the kingdom switches into new hands aka Laios’…

My dragon, not the dragon. I do like to imagine especially after the berries he’s starting to feel differently about her. He keeps being like "you’re acting odd, dragon". His dragon is special. She’s not just another regular monster npc to easily replace, there’s human contact in there. His dragon just for him. <3

I do think Falin has some issues with like, asking to be with the people she loves, feeling safe in asking for that, that she’s worth that. She follows them and is quiet and just takes the crumbs of love that they offer, she doesn’t ask Marcille at the academy to spend lunches with her, doesn’t ask anything of her distant busy father and ill anxious mother… The person she did ask things of, Laios, who she always asked to go travel the world with him and whatnot, left her behind. Like how Delgal left Thistle. Theme of leaving </3 theme of family and abandonment issues </3 So she just follows and cares after them and makes herself useful and is grateful she gets to be beside them at all. So yeah what I’m saying is being owned/belonging to someone might feel yeah like, belonging. Being One Person's. He’s seen her at her worst and most bloody and raw, and still wants her? Very comforting And especially post-canon he doesn’t need her to be witty or useful or such, he just needs her love and that’s what she has lots to give.

Do you think Falin wants to be needed… Do you think she’s a little restless if she doesn’t feel like she is, like she thinks just like Laios people might leave you behind and you never see them again.  It’s also because of what she said, that she put others before herself, that she just followed/imprinted on her parents/Laios/Marcille. She avoided conflict, she wanted to be liked and live in peace. The only times she was selfish, she hurt people (left school for Laios, sacrificed herself for them, teleported them out despite possibly hurting people on the surface), so she chooses to be selfless instead. "One of the most selfish things i've ever done was barely even for the sake of myself" - Falin and Toshiro both hah Falin is often told she doesn’t care the right way or not enough, you’re cutting classes Falin, I’m upset you left me and you don’t even seem to think it’s a big deal Falin, you shouldn’t have sacrificed yourself to save me (her not noticing her ostracization in her village wasn’t told to her but I’m including it also). And with Toshiro when considering her proposal, she was worried to accept because yeah it’s have been convenient but she wouldn’t be reciprocating his feelings in the way he wants and expected her to with what he asked of her… And she’s worried it wouldn’t be right… Bc she doesn’t care about the proposal on the same level he does….. I just think that’s neat I think that Falin caring both too little and too much, with laser focus on Laios & Marcille neglecting even herself, is a big part of her. She focuses on others and their emotional needs so so much always, babygirl be selfish for a while…

Thistle’s interaction with Laios is interesting too, especiaoly when Kaios heals him. How he looks at his shoulder, surprised and confused… Guy who's used to not having his personal needs met because he's so busy doing everything for the people he cares about receives care??? Woah that’s crazy Something something being so unused to human contact and affection that you don’t know how to process it and don’t recognize it when it happens/stares you right in the face. Thistle the Toudens are gonna make you open up ur heart to humans again on god…

What if… He doesn’t want to admit she’s not the dragon. If he admits it’s not the dragon that means giving up some control… This was not in his plan, he doesn’t know how well he can control a chimera rather than a dragon, it’s weakness it’s vulnerability it’s feeling like he’s losing his grip on everything again and thus losing his place and purpose. Hmm…

Finding yourself through someone else… Because defining yourself through others is what you’ve always done… Yeah. Yeah.

I do love it tying into Falin’s arc of finding herself. Like, she doesn’t remember her time as a chimera, she just remembers this guy she has conflicted but fond feelings of for some reason, so say if they travel post-canon, traveling with him would also be a way to figure out more how she’s feeling, and then there’s how when looking at him she gets the feeling that it’s been a long time he hasn’t lived for himself either… And like for him traveling is about seeing the world a bit too. Seeing it not as something to control or always dangerous but something to explore, and just enjoy the little things instead of worrying about the court. And just. Aghhhh. He hasn’t had someone on his side for centuries. Sighs. Of course Yaad also becomes that largely but traveling post-canon with Falin… Would love to see that in fancontent

Them growing to SEE each other, with the film in front of their eyes slowly fading away. Both of them coming out of it more genuine than they’d been even before meeting, before becoming warped, growing more comfortable in their skin and with the thought of connecting with others. It’s the mutual care <33 it’s having been on each other’s side at both your ugliest <3 Unconventional caring...

Toshiro saying "you can’t tie down a dragon" is always so good… Someone should so do stuff with that. "But you can tame it" / "I tried to once" / "but she chose to stay with me anyways"… Musical theme of How to Train your Dragon starts playing in the distance

When/after they get together, I feel like their relationship isn’t something they like to label… If anything it’s like. Partner. Or calling each other by name… Him calling her my dragon, except now it’s warm and personal would be so. Aughh <3 But then that just also makes the first time he calls her by name so huge.

Conclusion

They and their relationship is weird and unusual but that’s just how they are, and how they need to accept themselves (again: as they are) and roll with it! And make a place in the world for them anyways!

Magic forced them to be vulnerable in front of each other but it’s them who have to like… Be pushed out of their passivity and do something with that vulnerability.

BROTHERSSS THEY’RE BOTH ALL ABOUT BROTHERS. LEAVING. OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY. OUT OF TOUCH WITH THEMSELVES AND THEIR OWN IDENTITY. In a twisted way only the other would understand what it’s like.

Thistlin is so crazy, in humanizing you it humanizes me, in recognizing you for what you are I get more back in touch with the world again.

Flighted birds have hollow bones. With freedom there are risks and drawbacks. Thistle was Falin’s.

It’s not everyday you can have a ship where both characters are out of touch with reality and others and themselves and have this weird almost innate bond of her being compelled to protect him and care for him and him holding onto that unknowingly… Even if he didn’t need to, keeping her by himself and sitting on her while he plans and has a panic attack….. And also he owns her and robbed her of her freedom & body & full mind but she still wuvs him. Weird intimacy with the guy who horrifically changed you into something else, and yet is not even aware he has done it.

Falin loves nature and Thistle is named after a flower… Her post-canon coming across wild thistles and feeling a rush of fondness and she doesn’t know why… Thistles have thorns, but they taste sweet. Just gotta peel them off and enjoys the sweet taste of it once it’s open <3 Eat it like them honeysuckles

Slice of life 40k words thistlin sitcom I need you. Don’t make me write it myself. Sob

You are so so close sweetie…

wutiwant

I don't know what I want But I know it's not this These words don't mean nothing Once they left my lips More awake inside of my dreams Was that really you, next to me? Give me what I want, who am I supposed to please? Who am I supposed to please? Who am I? Who am I? I? Give me what I want Give me what I want

Some links, since the pair is small enough that finding stuff for them can be hard: Falin & Thistle search on pixiv Falin & Thistle search on danbooru Ao3: Thistle x Falin, Thistle & Falin Ship names: ファリシス / シスファリ. Thistlin

My own spotify playlists: Thistle & Falin, Thistle, Falin

source v

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Random BL Superlatives: 2023

Well @lurkingshan did it, so I must do it. So here are some random, WKA themed superlatives for the 2023 BL selection.

Best Hands: Mhok and Day, Last Twilight

gif by @singularities

Listen. I know. I KNOW. There are so many incredible options, and I have written at length about a number of them. I mean come on, La Pluie is right there, I Feel You Linger in the Air is right there, Sing My Crush, Moonlight Chicken etc. etc. etc. But

But, Last Twilight came in with the steel chair right at the end of the year here with that FUCKING HANDSING SCENE. Can you blame me? The handsing scene is shrimply too powerful.

Best Lighting: Playboyy

You know, it's funny cause I don't usually end up writing about lighting in shows, despite the fact that lighting design is absolutely one of my favorite things in film, stage, and television. Chains of Heart has really interesting lighting too, but Playboyy is an objectively better show, and it is doing some absolutely gorgeous lighting design.

Best Sex Scene: Olive Oil, I Feel You Linger in the Air

gif by @pharawee

THE OLIVE OIL SCENE, WHY ARE THERE NO GIFSETS OF THE OLIVE OIL SCENE? WHY IS TUMBLR SUCH A FUCKING HATER???? They didn't even fuck in that scene, but holy mother of GOD it was the best thing I've seen all year. I Feel You Linger in the Air has some of the most inventive and beautiful intimate moments, and spreading the olive oil as a stand in for arousal and masturbation was absolutely goddamn brilliant.

Best Faen (Non)Fatale: Porjai, Last Twilight

gif from @khaopybara

I know Last Twilight hasn't finished yet and will take us in to 2024, but Porjai and Mohk's relationship is absolutely my favorite lovers to friends dynamic I have seen this year. I was showering praise upon them all for this in the tags of a reblog today, so I have to give it to them. Massive shout out and extremely close call to Nara from La Pluie.

Best Emotional Roller Coaster: What Did You Eat Yesterday? Season 2

Ok there were quite a lot of shows that I think would have applied here, but man oh man this entire season has just run me through the wringer with how much Shiro has grown over the course of the last two seasons. Episode 11 had me laughing my ass off, and then absolutely sobbing by the end. So it's going to Kinou Nani Tabeta?

The Shirt I Want to Steal Most from Wardrobe: Blue and White Button Up, The Sign

gif from @ohshinytrinketsmine

I know this will be contentious when the Fart Proudly shirt is right there, but I really loved the blue and white button up shirt that Phaya wore I do not know what is in the water at IdolFactory, but they have hands down some of the best shirts I have ever seen. When I watched Secret Crush on You I wanted the entirety of Sky's wardrobe, now I am having shirt envy for this sexy little blue-with-white-lines-that-are-vaguely-rabbit-shaped (wka do not write a post about rabbits, do not write a post about rabbits-) button up.

The Character Who Most Changed my Opinion of Them: Phupa, OS2 x BBS x ATOTS

gif by @alexshenry (double PhupaPat whammy for @waitmyturtles)

Okay, so to tell you the truth, I made new superlatives cause if I took the superlatives from @lurkingshan's post it would have been at least half the same if not more (because as always, Shan is right about everything). But, I will put an overlap here because I absolutely could not let this year go by without applauding Aof, Earth, and Phupa for really putting in the work to help me understand this man better.

The Show That Most Surprised Me: Wedding Plan by MAME

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Okay not only was this show that I absolutely was not planning to watch or initially interested in actually one of the best of the year, but it was also a MAME show. And a lot of us have our critiques of MAME's writing, but this was so outside of her typical MO that I am shocked it came from the same writer. Love Sailom, love a Lavender Wedding, love Nuea, love it all.

The Trope This Year That Most Accounted for the Fact These Are Gay MEN: Boxing! Sing My Crush, Wedding Plan, The Sign

Sing My Crush did this the absolute best, but I really genuinely loved that multiple shows this year let men fight in controlled settings to get out some of their frustration and to process their feelings. Han Ba Ram crying in the gym? One of my favorite scenes of the entire year.

And yeah sure, Phaya and Tharn are fighting for the intricate rituals that allow men to touch the skin of men, we get the horny vibes, but fundamentally this fight does occur because Tharn is angsty and ignoring Phaya and that cannot stand. I like seeing Phaya sparring with the punching bag at the end of the most recent episode as well because he's fucking furious about Tharn telling the doctor about his dreams. I love it, I love it so much.

[mochathelion]

hey goopers and gunkers, here is, drumroll please

All of them council quotes from my quotebook (ft markiplier)

"Your blood is worms" -slimecicle

"Eenie meenie miney fuck you" -gillion tidestrider

"This is not the becoming of a prince. This is the becoming of a monster" -shilo bathroy

"I have a lot of opinions, none of them matter" -chip

"You must have confidence in yourself peter. Only then will you slay pussy like you slay gods" -thanatos

"IM GONNA MIGHTY BLOW YOU" -slimecicle

"PRETZEL! JUST A FEW MORE FEET PRETZEL! ITS NOT EVEN A MULTIPLE OF FIVE PRETZELLLL!" -gillion tidestrider

"I've never met God, but when I do I'll break him." -William wisp

"Great rune of the unborn? What is that, like an abortion perk?" -slimecicle

"What if you were like oh let me just check if the floor is real and you kicked it one day and it just disappeared, you'd probably be like of fuck I shouldldnt have done that" -slimecicle

"What do you really want? And just say it so I can fight for it" -gillion tidestrider

"Welp, you know what they say! When life gives you wolves, kill them. Also what? " -slimecicle

"Oh my Lord I smell estrogen" -slimecicles chat

"I'm beans mother fucker" -slmccl

"I'VE MET WAR CRIMINALS MORE DELIGHTFULL THAN YOU" -bizlybebo

"Two Mommy?"-Gillion Tidestrider

"This Jesus guy seems really cool!"-Gillion

"I can't wait to k*ll myself!" -Jay Ferin

"That girl just bit me. and I think I was into it?"-Jay Ferin

"If you zoot one more time im gonna choke you."-Rumi

"…Zoot~"-Peter

"Yippe"-Dakota Cole

"I'm just gonna kms and its gonna be your fault!" -Bizly ooc

"Ahhghduhiejbagci wa"-Kian Stone

"Julian the groomer… has a nice ring to it" -julian

"Its.. sewer ravioli!"-Dakota

"i didn't really think destiny was a thing before i met you, you know everything i had in life was just kinda a shitty hand . i really think it was you that made me feel like we were right where we were supposed to be, you're my friend you know- id drown the world for you" -chip

"CPR THREE LETTERS, WHAT DO THEY MEAN? COMBAT. PATIENT. REPEATEDLY. KICK HIM THREE TIMES GET HIM BACK UP, HE'S GOOD. CURED. Think he had cancer, not anymore" -slimecicle

"That must have been a slant rime because she seemed pretty tilted" -slimecicle

"Be the beans you wish to see in the world" -slimecicle

"A vagina with fangs? Bitchin… What? It sounds stimulating" -grizzlyplays

"Even If it was all inevitable… I'm glad we were written into the same story" -Gillion Tidestrider

"Niklaus is making a deal with russian Goku rn"-Bizly i believe ooc if not Chip

"PRIME DEFENDERS AT THE CONSTITUTIONAL CONVENTION" -William Wisp

"Fuck my fucking gay ass life" -condifiction

"SKIBOMBAY" -gillion tidestrider

"I WAS DRINKING YOU PRICK" -bizly

"He looks like a stop sign and has an ass disorder Its not my fault" -William wisp

"Dude you've GOTTA get advantage on this, dude is built like an among us" -slimecicle

"Beans. Beans. I grow my own beans. They are local and they are green. If you taste them you won't be mean. Come on now and try some beans. If you mean business, then trust my bean business. Have a legume, it won't be your doom. Have a legume, you will enjoom. I see your attitude is kind of mean, but you know what cheers me up? My beans. I grow em in the garden, they don't grow far from my home. Beans. I'm in the BEAN ZONE." -slimecicle

"WHAT THE FUCK??!!! FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S?!??! AEEEEEE AEEEE AE AEEE" -slimecicle

"NO NO NO NO YOUR NOT REAL GO AWAY! AMOUNGUS????!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD" -slimecicle

"I am weaponless but not defenceless" -slimecicle

"Don't play the game, eat the dirt, win." -slimecicle

"FATHER, SON, HOLY TROUT COME ON GET US THE FUCK OUT" -gillion tidestrider

"I WILL ABSORB THIS DEMONNNN. IT IS MY MEALLL!" -dakota cole

"You underestimate the power of SEX" -slimecicle

"aHgiA- FORTNITE" -slimecicle

Demonic rambling -slimecicle

"People will say eating chicken nuggets is bad for you, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS BAD FOR YOU? BEING A LITTLE BITCH. WHAT ARE YOU SPONSORED BY SALAD?" -grizzlyplays

"That's right I got two extra hearts and a wooden sword what the fuck are you going to do about it god" -charlie slimecicle

"I'm grabbing bed knife and I'm grabbing bed spear and I'm duel wielding that shit" -markiplier

[py-dreamer]

Oh! It's Mac(aroni)-learns-the-consequences-for his-actions o'clock!: the AU

To my marshiemallows who saw my other post, no this isn't the part two I was talking about

(it's coming dw! ...I am going to roast those fics over a pit like a rotisserie chicken...)

but this is some more Ma-caca slander so if you're into that...

"get in loser we're going to yell into some all hearing (but terrible at listening) ears"

(DISCLAIMER: I do enjoy Macaque as a character, he is well written in the show imo

This is a call-out to those who think he's just a victim and excuse his crimes in the show, in lore and make him the "uwu soft boi who needs to be protected at all cost who everyone loves including all of Wukong's subjects apparently"

and make Wukong the "selfish narcissist who's a lazy good for nothing, a monster who killed Mac for funsies then cried for centuries afterward without his waifu, doesn't deserve anything good, everyone hates him for good reason, he kills puppies on a daily bas-"

yea you get the point)

I know there're some AUs where there's an artifact that can change time or transport you into a different dimension

Yea so y'know what, let Macaque get his hands on one of them, mid battle with the monkie kids.

They tell him to calm down and give the artifact back but Mac gets pissy about an earlier conversation with Wukong.

About how he made a shrine to honor his pilgrim brothers and Mac gets mad.

He tells Wukong that it's been centuries since they've died so why doesn't he let them go and Wukong of course gets pissed too.

Then Mac-aroni bursts at him why there was nothing for the brotherhood or DBK when he sealed him or when he died

He adds some extra insults for flavor then leaves (as usual) without giving the monkey king to give his perspective and cuss him out

Back to the present, Mac decides to alter the timeline just a wee bit...

"Tang Sanzang was killed by the six eared Macaque during their first encounter"

Then we see this new world...but it's not all happy like Macaque hoped

First off, the journey was to retrieve holy scriptures from India which would help to cleanse the east apparently. But it was also because of the journey a lot of corruption was stopped (eg slow cart kingdom with its policy on Buddhism, kingdom of women and the demon guarding the abortion spring, the demon who overthrew the black river god, kidnappings in general)

So yea if it was cut short, a lot of that corruption would still be in power.

With most of the human population being overtaken by humans or corrupt kings or busy being eaten or courtnapped, yea society could not evolve. It stays mostly stagnant, so a lot of technology hasn't been invented yet and most humans (particularly lower class) are doing worse for wear.

But it wasn't his fault; it was the society and humans for being to weak to upturn itself.

Mac sees them, doesn't really care and goes off to find Wukong because hey, he's curious

However he finds the Camel Ridge trio instead and we know what kinda happened in that town.

The surrounding area is dry and barren because all the life is being sucked out of it. Heck, its probably even more arid cause the trio's reign has lasted for centuries.

They all welcome Macaque with open arms asking him where he's been and they haven't heard of him since the monk's murder.

The trio thank Mac since they heard how the monk had Wukong on a leash and how he was no more than a guard dog and they were worried that he'd make the monkey king reign his wrath on the city if they ever crossed and without him, the journey never continued and there was no encounter

He's disturbed by the friends he once loathed and fought welcoming him with open arms and owed their success to his actions.

But it wasn't his fault for their corruption, it was their city and their choices, someway or another karma will get them probably...maybe...

Since without the journey, the brotherhood never would've ended up in the ink scrolls

"Its a shame Wukong and Brother Bull can't join us"

Mac asks what they mean and where DBK was.

He learns the demon bull family were in mourning.

You see, without the pilgrims and more importantly, Sanzang and Wukong present, the sealing of the samahdi fire probably wouldn't have went the same.

They couldn't find anyone available who'd survive the flames so DBK, PIF and Nezha had to try it themselves...and were sadly unsucessful

The infant's power caused mass destruction, many deaths, injured both his parents greatly...

...and ultimately led the child to an early grave.

Leaving the clan and couple devastated for years to come.

But it still wasn't his fault: it was just due to unfortunate circumstances!

Macaque, disturbed by this leaves without saying goodbye, goes to flower fruit mountain to check on its status. Since without having to continue the journey, surely the monkey king would be basking in the sun with his subjects happily gorging themselves on fruit-

Only he comes back to a total wasteland.

As a consequence of letting the monk be killed and failing his chance at redemption, heaven punished Sun Wukong and he was never seen again (much to Mac's surprise).

But not only that, it seemed the gods took their rage out on Flower fruit mountain as well. This was the 2nd time it was burned but now they made sure to finish the job, every last tree engulfed in flames.

Without the monkey king coming back to save them, all the inhabitants were at risk of the burning and any left who fled to the mainland were captured and sold, starved or hunted and eaten. There were no survivors.

Upset by his discovery, Macaque was filled with rage at the king. How dare he not take care of their home, he failed as a friend but now as a king too. So he snuck into heaven to find out his location to find answers and yell at him.

It wasn't his fault their home was destroyed. That was Wukong's duty as king! He failed his subjects and he must pay

A tear filled Macaque snuffs through heaven's files as even he couldn't find the location of Sun Wukong's prison.

He learns that Nezha after failing to seal the fire, got terribly burned in the process probably crippling him and causing mass destruction to many nearby towns and minor gods had been cast out of heaven.

Some of the guilt started weighing in on him but he put that aside, because of course it wasn't his fault; the god was just too weak and shouldn't have stuck his nose into other's business.

And finally, the main course we've all been waiting for: confronting Wukong.

He's back under 5 phases mountain but this time with many more locks and security cautions. Macaque learns nobody had heard from the king in a 1000 years.

He finds the king and screams at him that it was his fault how FFM was now a desolate dessert devoid of life.

But to his surprise, the king laughs.

The king laughs maniacally, practically howling with laughter but with crazed eyes like a madman.

"I assume you'll blame me for 'abandoning' you too?"

He rips into Macaque about how they always swore to stay by each others side but the moment things get ugly Mac will always save his skin. And asks where was he for him through all this.

Not during the battle vs heaven.

Not during his trials.

Not during his imprisonment.

Not when he asked him to go back and leave the pilgrims alone.

Not when heaven pointed fingers at him that the monk's murder was his fault.

Not when FFM was destroyed and Wukong didn't learn until some heavenly officials told him years later as they fed him metal pellets and molten iron.

Even now, the only reason he came was to complain.

(I imagine a lil conversation to go like this:

Macaque: They abused you! They didn't free you!!

Wukong: WELL NEITHER DID YOU!!!!

Macaque:...

Wukong:...neither did you...)

Then Mac decides to ask what the pilgrims did afterward and bet they all ran off too...how wrong he was

(Macaque: Then where are your 'pilgrim' brothers now? Why aren't they here to help you the-

Wukong: they're gone

Macaque: what..?

Wukong: They're gone...They're gone...gone...DID YOU NOT HEAR ME? ARE YOU DEAF? I SAID THEY'RE GONE!!!

Macaque: but how...

Wukong: after you fled the scene, the heavenly officials came to detain me....hahahah...I was caught in that diamond snare again and Ao Lie jumped in to defend me.

Macaque: but I thought...

Wukong: I was so distraught, I couldn't do anything...They said that it was also their fault master was dead so they'd better stay quiet if they wanted to lessen their sentence....hahahah...I watched them all die one by one Macaque...

Macaque:...

Wukong:...they all defended me...even the goddamn pig... And do you know where that lead them? They all died...Liu'er...they're dead...I WATCHED MY BROTHERS DIE IN FRONT OF ME FOR DEFENDING ME...I DID NOTHING LIU'ER...DO YOU KNOW WHERE AZURE AND THE OTHERS ARE NOW? I'M SURE THEY'RE PARTYING AND LEAVING ME TO ROT. MEANWHILE MY BROTHERS GAVE THEIR LIVES FOR A USELESS MONKEY. I COULDN'T EVEN PROTECT MY SUBJECTS...OR SANZANG...THE GREAT SAGE EQUAL TO HEAVEN CAN'T EVEN PROTECT A SINGLE HUMAN...ALL THAT TIME, TRAINING, USELESS!! SO SURE...BLAME ME ALL YOU WANT BECAUSE I DESERVE IT AT THIS POINT!!!! COME ON!!!!

Macaque: God, you've really gone mad...)

I want this man to meet his inner demons or someone able to slap him around to just really remind him of the consequences to his actions maybe some ink scroll action.

Just basically:

And maybe if I'm feeling nice we get a happy ending, Mac reverses the spell or something and perhaps says something nice to Wukong for once.

If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions on how the timeline would change, do tell I'm curious to hear your thoughts.

@furornocturna might be reminding Mac-adoodledoo of his crimes to the monkie kids in the present but I'm taking him for a roadtrip to the past

(or other present...time travel is complicated y'all)

(Again I recommend 'Fractured pieces make a mosaic' on Ao3.

I shall call them my partner in crime for Mac-caca bullying if they shall so let me have the honors...also @nightmarebunnyking...they also do good slander

No I will not stop advertising their work. Cause it's good outside of the slander, Wukong is very affectionate, we love that for him and MK collects dads like pokemon cards

also kinda want opinions on more ole'Mac-doodle had denial. E I E I O

I propose we gather in a circle and beat him with a stick

...pls interact its 1 am rn)

Also fun fact this is my 2001st post so uhh...yay..?

[calisources]

CW'S   SUPERNATURAL   SENTENCE   QUOTES.   all   sentences   have   been   taken   from   mostly   the   kripke   era   (season   1   to   season   5)   of   erik   kripke's   supernatural,   mainly   season   four   and   five.   change   names/pronouns/locations   as   you   see   fit.

SEASON FOUR .

If you're going to shoot, shoot! Don't talk!

Please. Dean, maybe angels can pull you out of Hell but no one can do that.

So, you guys are like Mulder and Scully or something, and the X-Files are real?

It was beauty that killed the beast.

Anna may have sent the angels to the outfield, but sooner or later, they're gonna be back.

I suppose some dumb bastard stood here, felt a jolt of his holy juice and thought 'I'm going to build me a nun factory.' Well, it was the right idea... wrong angel.

Tell me something. Where's God in all this?

I'm not sure if he's my brother any more. If he ever was.

Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good? Make you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family.

If you walk out that door, don't you ever come back.

You don't know me. You never did, and you never will.

Congrats, Sammy. You just bought yourself a benchwarmer seat to the Apocalypse.

I serve Heaven, I don't serve man. And I certainly don't serve you.

Forever. The demons will never stop. You can never be with your family. So, you either get as far away from them as possible. Or you put a bullet in your head, And that's how you keep your family safe.

You know I finally get why you and dad butted heads so much. You two are practically the same person. 

I mean I worshipped the guy, y'know: I dressed like him, I acted like him, I listened to the same music. But you are more like him than I will ever be. I see that now.

Okay, so basically you're saying that every movie monster, every nightmare that I've ever had, that's all real.

He's a Winchester. He's already cursed.

It was too preposterous. Not to mention arrogant! I mean, writing yourself into the story is one thing, but as a prophet? That's like M. Night level douchiness.

Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison. Ask anyone.

 I'm not a hero, I'm not strong enough.

 I know our fate rests with you.

I couldn't break him, pulled out all the stops, but John, he was made of something unique. The stuff of heroes. 

You need to learn how to manage a damn devil's trap.

Tell me something, geniuses. Even if you do break into the Veil and you find the Reaper. how are you going to save it?

SEASON FIVE.

The only thing you're going to see out there is Michael killing your brother.

I'm gonna rip you apart from the inside out. Do you understand me?

No doubt - endings are hard. But then again... nothing ever really ends, does it?

You try to tie up every loose end, but you never can. 

Dean, even for you, this is a whole new mountain of stupid.

Sorry if it's a bit chilly. Most people think I burn hot. It's actually quite the opposite.

Well, I got to ask. How old are you?

As old as God. Maybe older. Neither of us can remember anymore. Life, death, chicken, egg. Regardless - at the end, I'll reap him, too.

That's the beauty about improv, Sammy. You never know what's gonna come out of your mouth.

You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be.

World's gonna end, seems silly to get all precious over one little soul.

Why? Because Crowley said so? Because we trust him now?

You think you own the planet? What gives you the right?!?

No one gives us the right. We take it.

You're not my father. And you ain't in my shoes. 

I mean, whatever happened to personal loyalty? How long have I worked for these guys. Five millennia? Six?

 It's funnier in Enochian.

 This creature has the power to take a human's form, read minds. 

And you think you know better than my father? The one unimportant little man. What makes you think you get to choose?

 It's a plan that is playing itself out perfectly. Free will's an illusion, Dean. That's why you're going to say yes.

Think of the million random choices that you make--and yet how each and everyone of them brings you closer to your destiny.

As it is in Heaven, so it must be on Earth. One brother has to kill the other.

Well, call it personal experience. Nobody gets that angry unless they're talking about their own family.

You know why God cast me down? Because I loved him. More than anything.

Now, tell me... does the punishment fit the crime? Especially when I was right? 

 Look at what six billion of you have done to this thing, and how many of you blame me for it?

Honestly, people don't need a reason to kill each other. I mean, you seen the Irish? They're all Irish.

[rou-luxe]

did I do well or did I make it worse 💀

different versions and misc thoughts under the cut

cybird REALLY fumbled that card imo... so much that I edited over it...

more defined teeth / mouth shape

that eye should be squinting you mf.

other one looked a bit out of place so I moved it + eyebrow change

I mean that expression is still fine ig but that mouth is monstrous and he is not expressive enough mf

FUCK YOU CYBIRD MAKE HIM GO FERAL

this version is fine too actually I think I like this one better 🤤🤤 (one eye kept from og, the other one from my version. a bit fixed so it isn't as awkward with my line weight)

this one is just cybird's with more weight to the facial lines

IT DOESN'T LOOK HALF BAD. CYBIRD IS JUST TOO CHICKEN TO GIVE ALFONS SOME KILLER EYELASHES ☹ /j

WELL FUCK YOU CYBIRD.

what if I just put eyelashes

nvm I got carried away

HOLY SHIT MOMMY??? sorry MOMMY??? sorry

SHE'S TOO POWERFUL FOR THIS WORLD.

HER MEWING STREAK IS OVER 9000

please I might accidentally pull a quartztwst if no one stops me

[lolotheparagon]

I low key wanna make an entire video gushing over the Diablo 3 companions cos holy shit I’ve forgotten how fun and immersive they are as characters.

Like they seem like the classic RPG archetypes and they are to some extent, but their little eccentricities and their respective voice actors really make them feel like a bunch of fun misfits who really don’t know what to do with their lives so they join up in a never ending war fighting angels and demons cos it sure beats doing nothing.

Kormac the Templar is an honor bound knight with a shit load of religious trauma and has no idea how to be normal, Lyndon the Scoundrel is your typical charming rogue but despite his debaunchery, he gives up all his money to help the people he cares about and is always up for a laugh. And Eirena the Enchantress is an eccentric ditz with a heart of gold who has a power that turns every enemy into a chicken for a few minutes

[cbk1000]

Hey Jenn!

I saw that you were reading about The Anarchy, and I was wondering what you thought what might have happened in English history if Stephen had also died in the shipwreck that took William Adelin.

Would Matilda have been made Queen of England while while still married to the Holy Roman Emperor?

Would the House of Plantagenet have ruled England?

The War of the Roses wouldn't have happened!

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

Oooh, that's an interesting question. (And, yes, The Anarchy is one of my niche nerd interests.)

I'm not sure that Matilda still would have been made Queen of England if her first husband hadn't died. At the very least, Henry I wouldn't have been able to marry her off to Geoffrey of Anjou, and some of the most prominent figures in English history never would have been born. I wonder if Matilda's first husband hadn't died, and he wasn't able to bring her home and marry her off for a political alliance, if he would have applied to divorce Adeliza and tried for another marriage to a woman who would give him a son, since women were blamed for the lack of that. (Also, I've always wondered WHY they were childless; Henry I had bastards strewn all over the place, so he definitely wasn't infertile; but Adeliza, if I'm not misremembering, went on to have children with another husband, so she clearly wasn't either. He was in his 60s when he died, so obviously he was no longer a spring chicken and he probably had a lower sperm count, but men have fathered children well into their 70s, so I'm not sure his age was the issue. Did he have an old injury that made it more difficult for him to sire children? Was it the ol' Fisher King spear through the groin? I dunno; it's interesting to me that he desperately needed a legitimate heir, but despite clearly having no problem knocking up women, the marriage he made based solely on the need for a legitimate heir was unable to produce children, though both members of it certainly seemed to have been able to, separately.)

Henry I did elevate his eldest illegitimate sons to prominent positions (and provided them with extensive education), and the earldom of Gloucester was created specifically for Robert, so he was positioning his illegitimate children in key roles to try and preserve his dynasty. Obviously preserving his dynasty was a top concern for a guy whose only legitimate male heir just drowned. (I always find that sad, too, because William reportedly returned because he heard his sister crying out while she was drowning, and his boat was swamped and everyone aboard drowned, leaving that one, poor little traumatised butcher from Rouen the only survivor.)

Let's say Stephen died, Matilda is still married to the Holy Roman Emperor, and currently broke-dick Henry I doesn't get his alliance with Geoffrey of Anjou, and doesn't recall Matilda to England since she's still doing what women are supposed to do: be useful by being the wife of someone powerful. I think there's a good chance he would have died heirless, which would have left a big power vacuum, and, honestly, probably led to civil war even without Stephen to say, "J/K, your dad changed his mind at the last minute, I pinkie promise that's true, and actually he wants me to rule England." Typically, when the inheritance of a kingdom is in question, a bunch of people step up to yell, "Mine!!!" You've got loads of bastards, relatives, probably powerful barons who might want to have a go. It probably would have been even more of a shitshow. That transference of power is always kind of a shaky period of time, and without a clear-cut line of succession, it would have been nasty, I think, even without Stephen and Matilda bitch slapping one another about it.

And really, there WOULD have been no Plantagenet dynasty, technically, because Henry II was the first Plantagenet to actually take the throne, and he never would have been born if Matilda hadn't married Geoffrey. And the name itself was a nickname for Geoffrey, because, as one theory I usually see bandied about goes, he used to wear sprigs of common broom, called genista. So the Plantagenet dynasty as we think of it wouldn't have existed, though someone from Henry I's bloodline might have taken the throne. We also never would have got King John, or Richard the Lionheart, and then we wouldn't have the Disney movie with King John as a thumb-sucking, tantrum-pitching lion, and that would be a shame.

Also, as you said, no Wars of the Roses, so then would the Tudors have ever rose to the position they did? Would Henry VIII have kept cutting off his wives' heads, and would I have to see every second historical fiction novel be about him when I am begging authors to write about someone else?

[finn-m-corvex]

Lightning in a Cubicle Pt. 2

Guess what? Finn is in a creative mood so I'm posting double (possibly triple) tonight!! On top of the first Chapter of Even the Earth Trembles, have the second part of Lightning in a Cubicle! I know the office Jay has died down by now, but I still wanted to continue it because I'm having fun with it. Hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I loved writing it!

Words: 3.2k

No tws! But I do have a taglist: @/rainofthetwilight, @/giftofjay, @/i-love-jay-walker and @/lightning-chicken (just so you guys don't get tagged when I repost this), this is for all of you! Only the people who explicitly said they wanted to be tagged, so if you want to be on the list for pt3 make sure to specify that!

Jay was ready to throw his boss’s stupid potted plant out the window.

“...and that’s why we’re going to need you to start working longer hours,” Mr. Harding was saying, even though Jay could barely hear him over the blood roaring in his ears. “This new intern needs someone to show her the ropes, and we think you’re the best man for the job.”

Yeah, right, Jay thought to himself, I’m just the only one who isn’t married.

Publicly, anyway.

He forced a smile on his face. “Sounds great, sir. When do I start?”

Mr. Harding barely glanced his way. “You start tomorrow, and you better bring in some good reviews or I will have to demote you.”

“Pardon?” Jay wasn’t sure if he had heard that right.

“If this intern doesn't start showing some promise in the first week, then you will be stripped of your title and moved to the I.T. department.”

What?!

“But sir,” Jay said quickly, “I can’t afford to live on my floor with an I.T. salary!”

“That’s not my problem, uh, John,” Mr. Harding waved him off, going back to whatever he had been doing before Jay had come in. “You’re dismissed.”

Jay quickly bit back the retort he was about to give, instead snatching up his suit jacket from the back of the crummy chair that he had been forced to sit in. He had half a mind to not move his boss’s trashcan a few inches to the left so that anything he tried to throw in there would miss. Lightning crackled under his skin, and Jay knew that all it would take was a snap of his fingers to blow the fuse for the whole floor. That would definitely put a dent in Mr. Harding’s plans, and it would make Jay’s day.

Shutting the door behind him, he sighed heavily. Today would not be that day.

Instead of causing a major power outage, Jay walked back to the elevators, briefcase swinging in his hand. The thing had been useless anyway, because apparently in his rush to get to the meeting he was already an hour late for he had forgotten every single one of his important papers. He had only grabbed the papers covered in the doodles that he drew when he was supposed to be doing his work, go figure.

Mr. Harding had raised an eyebrow at the papers, with just a quick flash of interest that Jay had only barely caught. And then he was immediately chewed out to the bone.

Pressing the button for the elevator with much less force than he had on the way up, Jay let his mind wander about what he had to do for the rest of the day. No more meetings, thankfully, but he did have a presentation for the week after that he had to get done sometime soon. Oh, and if he was going to be doing that presentation, then that meant he needed to type up some kind of summary sheet to pass out to the other meeting participants, especially if he wanted to go for that promotion…

Someone snapped their fingers in front of his face, and Jay was shaken back into reality. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I was thinking about something, I hope I haven’t kept you waiting for very long.”

The guy just kept…looking at him. Jay frowned, tilting his head and moving cautiously into the elevator. He swiped his keycard just like he had before, but took a quick glance at the overlay to see what floor the other man was going to.

Floor 1.

Holy shit, who was he in the elevator with?!

Jay snuck glances at him, trying to size him up. His shaggy black hair was strangely familiar, as was the hulking frame that Jay could tell was squeezing into the black suit by the slimmest of margins. He didn’t look like any person Jay had ever seen since he had been in the Administration, and while he definitely didn’t know the thousands of employees personally, he prided himself on being able to usually tell what department everybody was from. But this guy was a complete mystery.

Well, it was as good of a time as any to make some conversation. “Hey, are you new around here by any chance?”

“Huh?” the man blurted, and the two stared at each other. Finally, it clicked with the guy that Jay had asked him a question. “Oh. Y-Yeah, you could say that.”

Maybe he was just shy; Jay knew the feeling. He tried for a warm smile, one without all of the fake corporate bullshit he had been forced to live and breathe for the past five years. “Welcome to the company. What department are you in?”

“Uh,” the guy scratched at his temple, “security?”

“Are you asking me or telling me?” Jay had been trying for a joke, but the man only looked more spooked. Way to go, Jay. “I didn’t think security normally wore suits like that.”

“I had my interview today,” the guy said calmly, seeming to have finally found his footing. “So here’s to hoping I get the job. It’s crazy out there, so gotta get anything you can get, right?”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Jay chuckled. He had become an expert in navigating topics that he knew absolutely nothing about; how do you think he managed to worm his way into accounting?

Quiet settled over them, only the low hum of the elevator reaching Jay’s ears. The other man cleared his throat, and Jay pretended to not notice the glances being sent his way. “Where do you work?”

“I’m in accounting,” Jay explained sheepishly. He hoped that the guy hadn’t done the research and found out that he was the only guy in the entire accounting department.

“Accounting?!” he asked, and for some reason he sounded distressed at the idea. Jay was quick to reassure him that he hadn’t cost the company (too) much money in mistakes, something everyone else had found hilarious when he told it at work functions, but the guy kept looking at him with bug eyes, as if the notion of Jay working with numbers terrified him.

Maybe he just didn’t like math. Jay couldn’t say that he liked it very much either.

The elevator dinged; they had reached Jay’s floor. Jay paused when he went to step out, turning back and taking a final look at the man. “Hey, what’s your name?”

He startled, before putting on a small smile that tugged at the corners of Jay’s faintest memories. “It’s Cole.”

“Cole?” Why did that sound so familiar to him? Where had he heard that name before? “Well, I hope you get the job, Cole. You seem like a nice guy.”

Jay waited until the elevator door was closing, watching. Cole shifted his view to keep his eyes locked with Jay for as long as he could, and Jay only barely caught what the man whispered before the doors slid shut with a quiet hiss.

“You too, Jay.”

How did Cole know his name?

Baffled, Jay started making his way back to his office, trying to put the stranger out of his mind. He had work he needed to get done, he didn’t have time for this. Greeting their usual security guard named Luke, Jay swiped his keycard and entered the accounting room, quickly sitting down in his designated cubicle before Shitty Sharon could see that he was back and put him to work. Except he never stopped thinking about the familiar man with the shaggy black hair, something niggling in the back of his brain telling him that the image of Cole in a suit was wrong, that the black ninja should’ve been wearing something else-

A sharp pain shot through his head, making Jay grit his teeth and raise a hand to his temple. He saw an image of Cole in some sort of free-flowing black uniform for only a second before it went away. Pain gone, Jay looked down at his hand as he lowered it, glancing over the scars criss-crossing it like he had a thousand times before.

Cole had similar scars on his own hands, Jay realized as he looked back in his memories.

Sighing, Jay resigned himself to yet another day of getting no work done. Grabbing a fresh sheet of paper and his well-worn pencil, he began to draw.

Never before had he been so glad to make it back to his apartment.

Jay was quick to dump his jacket in its usual spot next to the door, uncaring for the small coat rack that the apartment had come furnished with. Right now, he had placed it strategically over a spot where he had scratched up the hardwood trying to move his new coffee table in, and he knew that if he moved the coat rack now he would not remember to put it back before he had inspection. Usually the briefcase would’ve gone with the jacket on the floor, but instead Jay kept it with him, making an immediate beeline for his desk against the opposite wall.

His apartment really wasn’t much. Just one bedroom and bathroom, a small living room and kitchenette, but Jay hadn’t ever needed a whole lot. Growing up in a junkyard trailer had taught him everything about making a lot out of a little. The desk was by far his most used object, often taking home with him even after he left the office. You never really left that corporate mindset once you settled in, even though Jay had never truly fit the mold.

“Shit!” he exclaimed, running a hand through his curly locks. “I was supposed to go to the grocery store.”

Oh well, he had bigger problems to attend to.

Papers spilled out of his briefcase when he overturned it above his desk, and Jay was quick to toss it aside in favor of organizing the drawings so they weren’t overlapping each other. That presentation was going to be the most rushed thing he had ever done in his life, but it wasn’t important right now.

Right now, he had to figure out who the hell Cole was.

“Who are you?” Jay asked out loud, poring over everything he had spent the past few hours drawing. He quickly flipped the switch on his sidelamp, the sun having gone down long ago, leaving his apartment crawling in familiar shadows that made Jay’s skin crawl for a reason that he couldn’t say. Whenever Jay had to describe his home in the dark, the first words that came to mind were a ship’s brig; he always dreaded thinking about ships in the dark.

There was the one drawing of Cole in the black uniform, something that Jay had learned was called a gi in the multitude of research he had done on his work computer. The gi had triggered something else in Jay’s memory, a flash of bright blue and a harness. Something that he was very familiar with.

Leaving the desk and walking into his bedroom, Jay ignored the unmade bed and the clothes left all over the floor in favor of going to his small wardrobe. On the top sat an innocent looking cardboard box; anybody wouldn’t have thought for more than two seconds about it.

But Jay knew how important the box was.

With shaking hands, he grabbed it and carried it back out to the desk, setting it down with the utmost care. Slowly, almost reverently, Jay opened the top and glanced at the contents within.

A bright blue suit covered in burns and homemade stitches in a pattern he couldn’t recognize. A differently styled gi to the one he had seen Cole in, but Jay was positive that was what it was. It was what he was wearing when he had been rescued by the Administration agents.

“Who are you, Cole?” he repeated, feeling the fabric between his fingers. “Who was I?”

He didn’t know. He didn’t think he would ever know until today.

“Did I know you?” Jay muttered, looking at another one of the drawings. It depicted a raging storm of pitch black clouds that had cost him an entire pen to color, swirling and spiraling. Cole was falling straight into it, and Jay felt pure terror shoot dowm his spine when he saw the finished piece. He had almost felt possessed when he had drawn it.

Jay set the two drawings aside, picking up another one that appeared to be a large arena. Cole was there again, looking agitated as he faced Jay, earth responding to his beck and call and bending to his whim. To Jay’s astonishment, there was electricity sparking from his hands, bolts bigger than anything he had tried to summon since he had been hired by the Administration.

Could he really do that? Summon lightning?

Pain stabbed him in the temple, forcing Jay to clutch the crummy chair to keep himself upright against the intensity of it. He was standing on a ship; it was storming, the rain pelting his skin. Someone was talking to him, giving him an order. A lightning bolt shot out of the sky, and Jay felt like he was looking through someone else’s eyes as the bolt deflected off of his hand and zipped right past the ship.

Jay turned around, suddenly exhausted. “You’re welcome!”

Only to watch in horror as some sort of flying monstrosity soared out of the sky, firing off large missiles straight at the ship. Jay did not think that he could deflect those.

The missiles struck the sails, and Jay could feel both of his hearts plummeting. “There!” Cole yelled, and Jay quickly whipped his head around to get a better look at the man. It was definitely the same guy from the elevator, just younger.

“Can’t see a thing in this storm,” Lloyd said angrily, and Jay was suddenly flung from the memory, landing back in his apartment and falling straight to the floor. He was shaking.

Lloyd?

“Need to draw,” Jay said, and he kept saying it as he forced his chair upright. “Need to draw, need to draw, need to draw…”

Grabbing a pencil and the back of the picture with the arena, Jay got to work. He completely forgot about the trip to the nighttime store on floor 166; he didn’t need breakfast in the morning.

Skipping breakfast was a mistake.

And so was staying up all night.

But Jay had a new mission: stop by the office supply store on floor 140 (he had to check the directory that every new employee was given) and get a corkboard and red yarn. And more paper. Probably some more pencils too, Shitty Sharon was always stingy with how many they could take home.

Not that Jay gave a damn about what she thought, but he did give a damn for his mental health and hygiene.

It finally hit him when he stepped out of the elevator, large mug of coffee in hand, that he had an intern to start training today. An intern that his entire livelihood rested on.

“Fucking hell, Jay,” he muttered, wanting to scrub a hand down his face, except both of them were occupied. “Could you have picked any better time to become a conspiracy theorist?”

Or to walk around carrying incriminating cargo. In an effort to help him remember all of the tasks he had to do today, Jay had written them down on a list carefully hidden in his briefcase, consisting of the following three iteams:

1. Figure out who Cole was, whether or not he had been hired, and where he was last seen in the building

2. Research as much as he could about anyone named Lloyd in the Administration database. Surely they had to have something, right?

3. Stop by the office supply store and pick up the items, and GET CEREAL FROM THE GROCERY STORE!

He had underlined number three four times for emphasis. His boss would be proud of his efforts.

Unfortunately, the universe was not on his side this morning, as the first thing to greet him when he opened the door to the accounting department was a screaming match. Shitty Sharon was red in the face (normal) with her two guarddogs Cutthroat Caren with a C and Bitchy Bethany. Normally, Jay would’ve seen the trio and high-tailed it straight to the men’s room for the next half-hour with the excuse of having bowel problems, but he paused. The three women were picking on some girl he had never seen before; was she the new intern?

“I told you, you have to check the printer before you do anything with it!” the new girl was yelling, and oh my God they were arguing about the printer. Jay had to intervene before this girl lost her head.

“And I told you, girl, that’s not my job! That is the office boy’s job!” Sharon shouted, and her two lackeys nodded behind her back. Typical.

“Ladies!” Jay said loudly before the new girl could interrupt, and all four of them whipped their heads in his direction. The younger girl’s pink hair swished in its ponytail, her face furrowing into one of confusion. “Please, is there any need for this? Sharon, you already know I am your number one printer fixer-upper.”

“Who are you?” she asked bluntly, and Jay chuckled nervously. Her gaze was piercing, her face adorned with markings that Jay vaguely recognized as Imperian.

Imperium?!

Jay was fucked. Royally fucked. He was so fucking hooped.

Sharon looked smug as a bug in a rug. “That is our office boy. Now, run along and go back to whatever kiddie department you came from. I heard they had plenty of room in the daycare on floor 128!”

Gritting her teeth, the pink-haired girl looked furious at the loud cackling of Caren and Bethany, and Jay was quick to snag her sleeve and start dragging her towards his cubicle. “It’s not worth it,” he hissed to her, and to his relief she stopped struggling against his grip and allowed him to lead her away.

His cubicle was not big by any means, and Jay was quick to grab one of the spare rolling chairs on his way and push it with his foot. Setting her down in it, Jay plopped himself down in his actual chair, looking at her with a strange look as she seemed to pick him apart like he was a machine with her gaze.

So he was going to have to break the ice. “I know, they’re pretty bitchy, huh?”

Raising her eyebrow, the girl looked surprised. “Aren’t they your coworkers?”

“Sadly, yes,” Jay said with a roll of his eyes, “but that does not mean I have to be nice. I got over that years ago. Besides, you can't always pick the people you’re surrounded by, right?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” she leaned back in the chair, “Say, you wouldn’t happen to know somebody named Jay Walker around here? I was supposed to meet him here in accounting, but it looks like it’s just girls? Not that there’s any problem with that, of course, it’s just-”

“I’m Jay Walker,” he chuckled at the girl’s relieved expression. “No worries, kiddo. I’m the only guy in the department, so it’d be pretty easy to find me. I’m guessing you’re my new intern?” A nod. “Great, nice to meet you! What’s your name?”

“Sora,” she said with a small smile. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Walker.”

Jay had a feeling he was going to like this kid.

[breakingbadmspaint]

Breaking Bad Season 4 (MS Paint)

I'm watching Breaking Bad and drawing my experience on MS Paint with my mouse.

[Season 2] [Season 3]

These seasons keep getting more intense and packed with stuff that I fear this is going to become more text than drawing soon.

Ep1

You can't just give me my baby boy looking so cute and excited!!

OH GOD NO THEY CAN'T DO THIS TO ME AGAIN. I JUST GOT HERE, I'M ONLY 6 MINUTES IN.

EVEN VICTOR IS UPSET (and I like to believe It's because he likes Gale)

YEAH YOU SHOW THEM VICTOR FUCK YEAH

-- oh my god the rage you can feel off Gus right now. He's terrifying, I love him.

THIS DOWN VIEW IS SO POWERFUL. THE REDS AND THE DARK BLUES OOOOOOO Gus feeling like he's towering over them.

THIS SCENE IS SO GOOD HOLY SHIT.

I'm watching with such intensity

-- WHAT WHY WHAT WHAT WHAT

Ep2

-- money money money money money

-- aw they're actually trying to get clean- damn it Jesse

I hope they go back to rehab group

-- That poor roomba

-- Walt really just going to get himself killed honestly.

These shots just keep getting better and better. You're small and blue Walt.

-- OH SHUT UP WALT, YOU DID IT ALL FOR YOURSELF

Ep 3

-- Those bastards dare use Gale's coffee machine still.

Okay so I love Huell. I swear to god if he dies.... I can't handle it.

-- It takes one threat to Walts ego for him to finally agree to the car wash🙄

-- oh Marie is going to get herself arrested, 100%.

-- man poor Jesse. The spiral his life has gone down.

-- OH SHIT MARIE

I think she likes the colour purple. Just a feeling.

Ep 4

The things he has to put up with. He looks so fed up.

-- OH GOD HIS EAR

LMAO Walts face when Skyler says "We want them to understand why you'd do something so stupid"

GET HIM SKYLER, GET HIM AND HIS STUPID EGO

omg Gale, my baby. I'm sobbing I love this man. Singing Karaoke in Thailand living his best life.

-- YOU BETTER FEEL GUILTY WALT. YOU BETTER (He doesn't)

-- Man Walt, how can you not realise Jesse is god damn traumatised over that event and you're just trying to make him relive it.

Ep 5

I would love some chicken right now

-- I'M SOBBING GALE IS SO CUTE

-- Jesse & Mike roadtrip montage!

-- HE SAID IT! "YOU! ARE NOT THE GUY! YOU'RE NOT CAPABLE OF BEING THE GUY, I HAD A GUY BUT NOW I DON'T~ YOU! ARE NOT! THE GUY~" I've heard part of the breaking bad remix before I even saw the show.

-- I really struggle to tell if Walt genuinely cares for Jesse or if it's just because he can easily manipulate him.

-- Oh no, Walt is drunk and getting his ego destroyed. This isn't a good combo.

-- OH SNAP HANK IS FIGURING IT OUT

Ep 6

-- I sense a war about to happen. Don't mess with Gus and his stuff.

Big scary baby man with big ego wah wah

-- I don't think insulting Jesse is going to keep him on your side Walt

-- oh my god, Walt if you get those ladies killed because you don't want to clean... YOU'RE NOT EVEN HELPING THEM

This is the father/son duo I want

huuuuh?????

-- Walt you bastard, look what you did!

-- Does Gus actually see potential or is this manipulation???

Ep 7

-- I miss Huell, when do we get more Huell.

-- My god Walt, if you dare ask Jesse to kill for you again

-- I'm fist-fighting Walter White

-- oooh sly Hank, very sneaky. Also I just love Gus in his yellow uniform.

He's just sat there like :T

DAMN HANK!!! Great at his job, holy shit

Ep 8

-- I'm sure Gus will find a way out of this since he has a lot of contacts and he's smart

-- I think Hank is getting a bigger target on his back

-- HUELL!! YIPPEE

This is beautiful

-- OOOH LOOK AT YOUNGER GUS!!! CUTE!!!

-- OH MY GOD

Ep 9

-- Oh Skyler honey, I don't think you realise he can't quit even if he wants to. He screwed up any chance of that, It's either make meth or death

-- UH OH TED OH NO SKYLER I KNEW IT'D COME BITE YOU IN THE ASS

-- HOLY SHIT MOVE JESSE, YOU'RE GOING TO GET SNIPED

OH DAMN OMG GUS HOLY WHAT

-- ooh please say Saul walks in, pleaaase- Oh Skyler, that's unexpected. Oh my god is she playing dumb???? OH MY GOD

-- Jesse you need to stop throwing your DNA covered cigarettes everywhere

-- Walt is making me so mad omg. His ego and paranoia are going to make him end up alone

Ep 10

-- I wonder what Gus's plan is, I'm sure there is more to it than just sending Jesse away

-- HELL YEAH JESSE DAAAAMN Making Gus and Mike proud

-- TED OH MY GOD

-- Oh I'm so nervous

-- Please be poisoned, please be poisoned - wait no GUS no don't be poisoned aaaaah

I'm so scared, how are they getting out of this

-- OMG OMG OMG OMG HOLY SHIT

Ep 11

Is Jesse going to have to do surgery on Mike?!?

He's so happy with his revenge

-- God I thought he was going to hit him with that chair for a moment

-- HUELL WOOOO

-- OMFG TED - okay he's still alive(?)

"Does it have to be dirty?" "No :)"

-- See, you pushed everyone away Walt- OH SNAP

Walter White has been ejected

-- Oh my god Walt, don't test him, he will find a way to hurt you

-- Point proven, he just threatened to kill your baby

-- Walt joker moment

Ep 12

-- Damn he's good at talking his way into a place - OH SNAP DRUG DOG

-- My god, Marie really loves purple, EVEN HER COFFEE PACKAGING IS PURPLE???? Does she buy it because It's purple???

-- Gosh what mystery potion is Walter making - OH A BOMB

Ep 13

-- UH OH Jesse

-- AHJFKHKFHA HOUSE MENTION AHAHAHA

Walter climbing through a door like a gremlin is beautiful

-- That old lady aw, wait she's not going to get hurt right?!?

-- HOLY SHIT

I knew it was coming but I'm still so sad

-- WOAH

-- WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS WALTER THE WHOLE TIME OMFG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I'M FIGHTING HIM, I'M FIST FIGHTING HIM

[claire-starsword]

The Guardiana Magic School Run -Part 18

Certainly it must be obnoxious that I keep bringing up the novel wherever I go, but consider: 1) i waited years to read that thing so i don't care; 2) translating 300+ pages for free is hella work so i get to brag; and 3) we are literally on Rudo lol i can't stop looking at everything differently now. I know this dog now. I love this dog. She's my friend.

Back to the run, we're still on the spirit of treasure hunts!

After a very fun and not at all garbage puzzle involving unclear map boundaries, we get Musashi, who is not valid for this magic user run. Yes, the guy is invisible and making words pop out of thin air, but he's NOT magical. He's just built different. You would understand if you had studied the blade like him.

We then get Lyle, who is also not for this run. Very sad. But at least they'll kindly donate their weapons to support our magic school. It's not much, but it's the thought tha-

MUSASHI WHAT THE HELL

ARE YOU MADE OF MONEY MAN

so uh, wow! that's something i'd never learn in a regular playthrough. Since it's a unique weapon it goes to the deals section for double the price. The deals section is very clogged right now so I guess we'll soon learn if new deals still pop up or if we're done with it. Not like the useless swords there were helping anyway.

On the topic of weapons, we also get a Holy Staff like I promised last time. I could promote Khris right now, giving up on an early Aura, to use this. Her attack is currently pretty ok (28), so a boost would likely put her in the 30+ with attackers like Max and Arthur. That's wild to think about. But am I going to use her like this with her squishy defense? In the chapter where Golems and Dullahans start to appear? I'm not sure. The next battle is also forest and she doesn't have great movement in that. But we'll be surrounded by spawns, so she might make a difference in wiping out some enemy in that chaos.

I'm pretty afraid of the next battle, so that's what I'm going for. At the end of the day she has four levels to go until Aura and I hate this kind of grinding very much lol

Say hello to Vicar Khris! Boy I hate the stat loss so much. And yet, upon equipping the Holy Staff, she now has the greatest attack in the party. Dog that mauls you for your sins. I'm losing it.

And we're not done with upgrades! First of all I forgot to equip the Soulbuster on Max, but don't worry, it still doesn't make him stronger than Khris.

Arthur on the other hand jumps above the Khris bar thanks to the Chrome Lance. The unpromoted Lowe and mages cannot use the Guard Staff for now, which is a bit of a loss for Lowe, but the girls on the other hand should just be blasting things with magic anyway. Tao might be our greatest weapon against the Golems.

Narsha meanwhile gets the Holy Mace, which is not only more powerful but also capable of Heal 3. Unfortunately I did forbid using weapon effects on my rules, didn't I? Uh oh. Still a nice upgrade, and I didn't have any idea on when to promote Narsha, so let's do it.

Establishing herself once more as the deuteragonist of this thing, Saint Narsha is now as strong as Max, but with a few more points in defense, which is great.

I am still afraid however, so I don't think the upgrades will end here.

I do sit atop a sizable collection of stat boosting items. That I always forget to use in casual play. I would like to not mess my challenge run doing that. The only characters were missing by now are Alef and Torasu, neither of which will need Power Wine, for example. I would also hope they won't need five whole defense potion.

But do I know how to distribute this in an smart and efficient way? Hell no. I do hate seeing Max without defense though, so one potion goes for him, taking him over 20. I do chicken out on using the rest of them though, because I don't think they'll make enough of an impact on characters that are still on the 14-17 range, especially when they don't have enough HP to survive two hits even if their defense was raised.

What I do end up with is using a couple Life Loaves on Narsha. Her defense is now on par with Max yet she has way less HP, so I'm hoping the +3 here helps.

I also end up facing this bizarreness here where the game does not update her current HP? Hoping she doesn't enter battle like this. I can't even use Medical Herbs outside of battle to fix it now.

I also decide to use the Power Wines on Max and Narsha, I'm really betting on them as the frontlines here. So congrats Max, now you're on par with dog girl. Only took a lot of effort.

I also give Anri a Quick Chicken in hopes she'll get more chance to hit the enemies before they hit her.

After all these very insecure decisions, I'm now turning my game off and on again because the Narsha thing bothers me.

:/ it does not fix it

Had to enter this screen and retreat, this is honestly some garbage code.

Anyway, let's finally get to the battle. The clear bonus is just money. Thanks to Musashi's patronage I'm not worried about that. Also no way in hell I'm rushing this battle.

I don't know why I haven't mentioned yet, but Domingo should be the star of this battle. The game even knows it, giving him some extra dialogue here. He has the best defense in the team, floating movement to ignore the forests and mountains, and magic damage against the enemies with high defense.

Arthur is currently the other tank of the team, but being a centaur he won't be moving well in this terrain.

He's at least enthusiastic enough to be the first one to move, but not like there's many threats in this start.

Also I'm just learning that Attack 3 uses 40 MP so, uh. Don't expect to ever see this thing used lol

Very unsure of what to do with Narsha as usual. I might try setting positions to catch Max, Arthur, Hanzou and herself in an Attack 2. I could boost the mages' damage instead but I'm unsure if that will be impactful enough on level 2 spells, and Tao's Blaze 2 is not in a deep need of help. Besides, MP eventually ends, while attack boosts are forever.

After a boring turn 2 we are finally ready to beat these things up. They're doing nothing to Arthur.

No point in wasting Domingo's MP with these weak enemies though. Arthur, Max and Hanzou wipe them out in a single hit each.

It takes me several turns because Khris is slow and has little movement, but I include her in the Attack plan.

In the next turn, I could use a Boost 1 on someone to finish Narsha's MP, but I feel like saving it for Aura in case I need healing.

I seem to have attracted the Artilleries' attention, but not triggered the spawns yet, which annoys me. I don't want those things to catch me off guard.

LIKE THIS YOU KNOW

EXACTLY LIKE THIS

Welcome to hell! The Master Mages have Freeze 2, which is pretty dicey to take on when there's many of them and we're gathered like this. The golems and worms should have a lot of attack, and Domingo and Arthur are my only tanks, so I can't exactly surround everyone else. At least I think the golems can't reach anyone yet since I tried to stay on the bottom, and their movement is not great. The worms should have less defense than the golems. Maybe we can defeat them before the golems arrive! Optimism!

You can already feel the centaur pain with Arthur not even being able to cover Tao here.

But he can one hit a guy in forest land effect.

Also, look! He finally fits this playthrough! Baby's first spell! Will we be using it instead of 20+ chrome lance damage? I don't think so.

Domingo also can't cover Tao, so clearly I screwed up bad. Maybe he'll distract the other worms though.

Max one hit kills a worm, but Hanzou fails tragically at this mage. He gets a level up with +4 attack to ensure it won't happen again.

I hit image limit as expected so, to be continued in a reblog, see i told you this one was more exciting than the last

[yayneloveart]

I suddenly feel like I need to record my initial reaction to RvB Restoration. We'll see how this goes

So that isn't Maine in the trailer, it's just a dude in his armor. I guess it makes sense since Tucker just ditched the armor after Epsilon died, anyone could have picked it up. I shouldn't assume someone in a Locus helmet must automatically be Locus.

Holy shit, did Grif start raising chickens like Geoff did in that long minecraft series?

Lol, Caboose could speak Spanish the whole time but he never spent time with Lopez so we never knew.

Caboose is literally R2D2.

WASH HAS A PICTURE OF A CAT IN HIS ROOM.

Okay, I like the direction so far. Doing some backtracking into some loose ends from previous seasons.

I guess the AI survived the EMP inside Maine's armor? I wonder if they got Elijah Wood again.

Okay, so Epsilon isn't alive, it's a smart recording that Church made before he fell apart. A little cheap... they kept killing him only to find that they wanted to bring him back one more time.

Uh... do I have voice blindness now, along with face blindness? That guy in the armor did not sound like Tucker. Unless he borrowed Tex's voice modulator. Or Epsilon is wrong and its not Tucker, it's some other fucker who ended up in the Meta's suit.

But... those were just memories of the AI, not the original ones. Epsilon was one slice of the whole Alpha, he couldn't have split himself further to recreate the AIs like they were before. They would have been a slice of a slice, and much smaller than the original ones. I can't imagine them having enough power to do the same amount of damage Maine took as the Meta. It's like the difference between being hit in the head with 6 rocks, and being hit with one rock split into 6 pebbles.

Hey wait, where's Donut?

Wow, they really shoehorned Felix in there. He never put on the armor as far as we know, and if Charon somehow obtained his intelligence, then they must have Locus' too.

But... they can't recreate the Alpha??? The Alpha was destroyed by the EMP along with the other original AIs? If they rejoin, they just recreate Epsilon. They went back to address old plot lines and erased a huge section of the story.

Interesting design choice, giving the Meta's armor Felix's color scheme. And I just realized that the Meta's helmet is the opposite of Locus', the entire thing is a visor while the Locus helmet doesn't have one at all.

Is Wash hallucinating Doc? That would be a first, instead of Doc being there and no one noticing, he's not there and Wash thinks he is.

Oh yeah, didn't Donut leave or something after season 17? To go soul searching? Maybe he's in Paris.

For 2 seconds I thought Sheila called Locus. My heart skipped a beat and I got so excited. Nope, season 19 breaking my heart- HOLY SHIT THATS 479ER. IT TOOK ME A SECOND BECAUSE I HAVENT THOUGHT ABOUT HER IN YEARS (beyond me selling merch with her face on it). I take it back, she might not be Locus, but she's still cool as fuck.

I guess they left Lopez behind to look after the base?

... if the Meta is still here... then what is Tucker/Meta wearing- oh, he's just hiding in there.

'Its okay Tucker, I forgive you' *weeps hysterically*

Sarge isn't dead... is he? They can't kill off the Red team leader, right? There's no dirt to throw over him. His armor is just going to do that locking thing like with Donut when Wash shot him?

Sarge?

Sarge..?

SAAAAAARGE!

They really killed him. They killed Sarge. Season 1 killed the blue team leader, the final season killed the red team leader.

They actually bothered to give him a headstone? The first time they thought he died they just threw some dirt on him and walked away.

Grif is literally asking Simmons to run away with him.

Press F to pay respects.

THERE WAS A SPARE THE ENTIRE TIME???? THERE WAS A WHOLE PLOT WHERE BLUE TEAM NEGOTIATED WITH RED TEAM TO BUILD NEW BODIES FOR CHURCH AND TEX.

So they killed Sarge and now they're resurrecting Church. I guess there can only be one team leader at a time between the Reds and Blues.

Doc couldn't save a life to save his life- Did Wash just jump off a cliff?

Oh hey, did Meta/Tucker just damage Simmon's cyborg arm? This is the first time they've ever shown him having one.

I know a lot of people were hoping Grif and Simmons on top of each other... but I don't think like this...

... what launched Caboose like that?

Oh wow, they brought back Tex AGAIN? Well, she was the best fighter in Project Freelancer, and doesn't have an organic body like Tucker.

Maybe they will use this opportunity to fix her story?

Oooooh, there's Carolina! I forgot about her.

Wait, is she and Tex going to team up to take down Meta/Tucker? FUCK YEAH BEST TEAM UP EVER.

You know, I had a hard time believing Tucker could be this good, but the AIs must be piloting the suit. Charon must have collected data on Felix's fighting skills and the AI downloaded it. Combine that with the enhancements and you have a pretty good killer.

ARE THEY GOING TO EXPLAIN HOW TUCKER GOT INTO THE ARMOR???

Oh, I guess Doc is real.

Okay, they are GONE. NO MORE RESURRECTIONS, NO MORE RETCONS.

HOLY SHIT WAIT DOC DIDNT SURVIVE CHORUS?????

IS HE FOR REAL DEAD???

Oh, hi North! And Wyoming! Hey, it's the whole gang!

I'm not crying, YOURE CRYING!

I don't believe Doc is dead, he's probably hidden out somewhere on Chorus tending to a garden with Donut.

Oh, this must be someone from the season I didnt watch.

I guess they didnt need Donut because he already had a good sendoff in season 17... oh wait didnt Doc show up post Chorus? He fought Donut in season 16 for that hammer thing.

Ah, they didnt get Elijah Wood back, they had Miles do Sigma. But they had Burnie's youngest do Theta, like how his older brother did it before! That's cool.

My final thoughts on season 19?

0/10, there was no Locus. Unwatchable.

[bakedbakermom]

Stained

Chapter 5: Sacrifice // start at the beginning

tagging @today-in-fic @ao3feed-msr

sacrifice verb 1. to give up for a greater cause 2. to kill in order to propitiate a deity -- So that something dead may be reborn into life.

They performed the ritual, fittingly, in an abandoned graveyard chapel, a crumbling holy place among the dead where weather-worn angels watched the proceedings with their eternally weeping eyes. Willow and Tara placed braziers at the compass points and filled them with herbs of cleansing and banishment; their smoke wafted out through the holes where the ceiling had fallen in, vanishing quickly in the moonless sky. Scully winced when they drew a chalk pentacle on the floor around the altar; she felt an involuntary twinge of sympathy for the nuns of her childhood, for how deeply scandalized they would have been to see this casual blasphemy, to witness her being a part of it.

They chanted as they worked, a lilting song in many languages, somewhere between summoning, a plea, and a lullaby. Scully recognized enough from church hymns in Latin and Greek to understand the refrains, “Mothers have mercy,” and “grant us your peace,” but the rest swirled around her in a blur. The air thickened with the weight of their words, growing hazy and shimmering like a heat mirage.

“The idea,” Giles had explained the night before, “is to summon the spirits of three holy women. The spell calls them saints, and invokes some early Christian iconography, but it’s more likely that these are some of the more ancient female spirits of great power that appeared in pre-Roman pagan rites of the area.”

“Christmas trees, birthdays, female empowerment spirits—is there anything those guys didn’t steal?” Anya grumbled, rummaging through the drawers in the magic shop for herbs. She had built a pile of dried and fresh greenery on the table, and the air smelled like a mix of hospital and florist: sweet and earthy, but with the tingling, medicinal promise of healing. She passed each bundle to Xander, who bound them with braids of white ribbons.

“The spell sometimes refers to them as one, sometimes as three,” Giles continued, undeterred by the interruption. “If I’m right, and I usually am, we’re to invoke the aspects of the Morrígna, a triple goddess of the Tuatha Dé representing birth, life, and death.”

Mulder nodded. “So that something dead may be reborn into life.” He sat next to Scully, looking over the pages that Giles had translated into English while she had been cajoling a rather austere nun named Mary Clarence into surrendering nearly a gallon of holy water—and also conspiring with the slayer. He bumped her knee with his and gave her a reassuring smile. “Presto, change-o, I’ll be a real boy again.”

“Precisely. We sanctify the air with herbs and summon the spirit in her three forms with an appropriate sacrifice: Buffy’s blood for the birth aspect, as she is the protector of the innocent; a heart burning with flame, for the life aspect—”

“Almost done with that, by the way,” said Tara, who was mixing a foul-smelling and brilliantly green potion in a cauldron the size of a sugar bowl. She handled it with the reverence usually afforded to grenades and precious relics; in a way, it was both. “Just need some gold flakes and ground rat-snake scales.”

“Top shelf, third drawer over, and then the scales should be in the teeny jar next to the chicken feet,” Willow said as she breezed through the door, carrying a small bundle wrapped in butcher paper. Her pale skin had a slight greenish cast, and there was a speck of blood on her sleeve, but she looked otherwise fine as she stopped to kiss Tara on the cheek before stepping into the back room, to place a stolen human heart in the fridge as casually as if she had just picked up milk at the corner store. Scully made a mental note to never, ever get on the witch’s bad side.

“Right, yes, and then of course, for the death aspect, the dust of the vampire who sired you.”

“You’re welcome for that, you know,” said Spike, who watched the preparations from the corner with a carefully manicured disinterest. “Hate going down to that part of the underground. Even the creepers get the creeps down there.”

“Yes, Spike, thank you again for enduring the terrifying ordeal of taking a walk and wielding a dustpan.” Buffy rolled her eyes and picked up the jar he had returned with, turning it this way and that in the light. The matte gray dust inside shifted sluggishly, almost grudgingly, as if it was too dead to even bother obeying the laws of gravity. “Perhaps you’d like to be next in line for canning? I’m sure there’s a dingy shelf somewhere where we could forget about you until you started growing mold.”

Spike shoved away from the wall and stalked toward the door. “Oh do piss off. Forgive a guy for doing you a favor.” He stopped to put a hand on Scully’s shoulder. “Best of luck, Red.”

He leaned down to whisper something in Mulder’s ear, then vanished into the night. Scully lifted an eyebrow at him, but Mulder only smiled and shook his head.

Now Scully turned to him, studying his profile as he watched the two witches painting a great looping symbol in the center of the pentagram. With no moon in the sky, the only light in the space came from the circle of candles on the floor; it flickered over his cheekbones, the bridge of his nose, the edges of his brow and chin. He saw her staring and cocked his head in silent question.

“Just wondering what Spike said to you last night.”

He reached down and took her hand, twining their fingers together and then pressing a soft kiss against her skin. He gave a gentle pull and she moved into him, smooth as a dance, and he tucked a loose strand of crimson hair behind her ear; his fingers lingered on the smooth curve of her jaw. “He told me… He told me to be worthy of you.” He huffed a small laugh and glanced away; if he’d been alive, he would have been blushing. “Underneath all that leather and sneering, he’s kind of a sentimental guy.”

Scully smiled at him through the tears stinging her eyes. After going over the plan a half dozen times at the Magic Box, they had returned to the motel and abandoned all pretense of separate rooms; neither of them spoke as she curled up beside him in the small, rumpled bed. She had watched him for hours as he slept—with no pulse and no breath, he might have been carved from stone, and she studied him like a piece of fine art, committing each detail to memory.

She spent the day in his arms. She spent the day saying goodbye.

She arched up onto her toes and he met her halfway, touching their foreheads together. “You are worthy,” she told him, the words twisting like a knife in her heart. “You always were.”

“Scully, I—”

“Guys?” Buffy called, gently, from inside the circle. “It’s time.”

“After,” she whispered, and pressed a kiss to his cheek. She had to swallow past the lump in her throat to get the word out. “Tell me after.” Because if you tell me now, I’ll never be able to go through with it.

Hand in hand, they stepped into the circle.

Willow closed it behind them, touching her fingertip with the blade of a knife and letting a single drop fall onto the chalk line; immediately it began to glow with a gentle, pulsing light, white and cold and pure as the stars. A chime rang through the air. The flames in the candles dropped low, as if the air had been pulled from the space, and then began to pulse in time to the rhythm of the summoning song.

Only Mulder, Scully, and Buffy stood inside the ring of candles and starlight. The others paced outside, continuing the lyrical chant. Their voices came through muffled and distorted, the words blurring into a hum; the rippling in the air took on the same cadence as the chant, and Scully realized with a start that she could feel it in her chest. It beat alongside her heart.

Mulder pulled off his shirt and stood before the altar; he had already been anointed with holy water, leaving looping symbols burned into the flesh of his torso like he had done a poor job applying sunscreen. Scully had painted them on herself, carefully following the illustrations from the journal, as Mulder had ground his teeth and bitten back his moans of pain. His back arched off the table, tendons bulging in his neck, the wood beneath his hands screeching like a living thing as he gripped the table’s edges. She apologized with her eyes and her hands with each stroke, smoothing his hair and squeezing his hand when the pain became overwhelming. “Keep going,” he would hiss between clenched teeth, over and over, until his stomach and chest and the tops of his arms were red and raw with whorls and loops and symbols in a language all but lost to time.

He dipped his finger in the jar of his sire’s ashes and traced them over the symbols on his stomach, hands steady despite the revulsion twisting his face. “Badb, crow and crone,” Mulder intoned, using the words Willow and Giles had taught him. “Red-mouthed, white-eyed, accept my offering: dust beyond death, end of the endless.”

The thrum in the circle quickened, and she felt it in the soles of her feet like the footsteps of some great beast—distant, unseen, but approaching steadily. It rumbled through her ribs, her heart speeding to match its tempo. She glanced around; no one else seemed affected by it, and she swallowed hard to center herself. She felt the magic brushing against her skin, circling her like a curious cat. She willed herself to relax, to open up to it. I’m here, she told it. I’m ready.

Mulder picked up the ritual knife from the altar; it gleamed in the strange light like an oil slick. Buffy held out her arm and he cut her just where Scully had told him to, the thickest part of her forearm, where it would bleed well but heal quickly. “But in the movies they always cut their palms,” Buffy had protested, but Scully told her that was half dramatic effect and half for the easy concealment of a packet of fake blood.

“Macha, maiden of the flood,” he chanted, “daughter of the waters clear and new, accept my offering: the blood of the protector, she who keeps the innocent from harm.”

He traced Buffy’s blood over the marks on his shoulders and upper arms, as if drawing armor over himself. The pulse beneath Scully’s feet and in her chest ramped up again, and she couldn’t tell if it was her frantic heart driving the beat or the spell pushing her heart into overdrive. She could hardly hear over the rush of it, hardly breathe past its thundering beneath her sternum. Light from the circle began to bleed into her skin, pulsing in time, as if the moon had left the sky to throb beneath her skin.

She reached for the heart Willow had harvested, lying in a bowl of green potion flickering with emerald flame. She half expected it to lurch to life in her hands, to be caught in the same roaring storm of magic rattling her own heart inside her body like a caged animal desperate to escape. But it just lay there, because it was not this heart the magic required.

Buffy was already binding the wound on her arm, and gave Scully the barest of nods. She moved closer in slow and deliberate steps, smooth and silent as a jungle cat.

Scully tried to still her trembling as she held the heart before Mulder’s blade.

“And to Danu, mother of mothers, the great and phantom queen.” He lifted the knife with both hands, casting rainbows of throbbing light through the circle. The chanting outside reached a fever pitch. “I offer you a heart burning with flame. May the life inside it pass into me, may its flame banish the darkness inside my heart, may I be restored and reborn to myself.”

His blade flashed toward the heart, and time slowed to a crawl; Scully saw everything unfolding in slow motion, helpless to stop it, unwilling to even try.

Buffy stepped fluidly between them, her hands wrapping around Mulder’s with an inescapable strength. The confusion in his eyes morphed into horrified understanding as she twisted, redirecting the arc of the knife.

This was the part of the ritual none of them had understood, the meaning behind the burning heart—drawn on yellowed pages by the hand of a man long dead, the tear mark smudging its edge speaking volumes untold by the texts itself. Had it been his wife, husband, lover? Whose heart had he inked there, wreathed in the flames that had transformed him back into a living man, only to find that he had no one left to share that life with? She hoped, whoever it was, they had gone willingly to the knife, as she did; she hoped the flame in their heart had burned brightly enough to outshine the fear.

The light in her skin leapt toward the blade like a strand of lightning, pulsing down the length of it, up his arms, and then spiraling through the symbols toward the center of his chest. For just a few panicked beats of her galloping heart she felt his pulsing alongside hers, beating in both bodies and in the light that bound them.

Mulder tried to wrench the blade away, but Buffy had both Slayer strength and the cruel, implacable mistress of momentum on her side. He caught Scully’s eye at the last moment, pleading and terrified. She tried to tell him I’m sorry . She tried to say Forgive me . She tried to beg him to live, to carry on, to take this sacrifice she was giving him and make something true and beautiful out of it. She tried to say those last three words they had never spoken. The tears that fell from her eyes glowed like pearls.

And then the Slayer slammed the knife into her chest.

A/N: Not me cackling as I write this, torturing characters and readers alike. Don't get discouraged; we're only halfway there!

[conjuremanj]

Chicken Foot & How There Really Used.

Chickens are often seen scraping, kicking, scratching at the ground which appear to be that their sweeping or cleaning. In the traditional magic a chicken is a powerful symbol of purification. In Vodou it is use to cleanse a person, and can be used to heal.

For centuries, dried chicken feet have been used as a charm for protection against evil. When hung in a doorway, to protect your home, or hung on the car mirror. Just seeing the foot hanging from a mirror of your car would stop someone from steeling it.

But the truth it's does not protect you from evil may that be malicious spirits or even demonic. It doesn't bring good luck either I mean was it good luck for the rabbit when we take it's foot. NO.. so why would it be good for the chicken. Chickens are gentle creature in nurture. They protect, they defend against those who try to hurt it, and that's what it would do for you protect.. it's a symbol of spirit work. It will help you fight back.

So what it does this mean, protection for you from negative energy, negative influences that a spirit my leave behind or send towards you.

It can also protect you from a hotfoot spell sent to you because hot foot is just bad energy right similar to the evil eye. Now I'm mentioning hexing also because the foot can be used with a doll to scratch back at your enemies. The chicken foot I use is this one.

It is purple and black with same colored feathers with the evil eye on it. Now you don't need to have a colored one or even a decorated one if you don't want to but there still cool to look at.

Start: once you have your foot you need to activate it. I use cigar smoke and sage to cleanse the negative energies from it a little Holy water and a prayer to St Michael. Then some holy oil or protection oil on it.

Use: To spiritually cleanse your body, take your chicken foot and make a scratching motion about one inch from your skin, starting at the top of your head, working your way down to your feet. Give your feet extra attention by working the chicken foot back and forth from heel to toe.

If you prefer to do or add you can also try the egg cleansing useing the same motion from top to bottom.. that's a old tradition that works.

When working with anything in nature like animals you must understand what it can do.

Contact me for any questions you may have..