#give this man unrealistic expectations about getting beat up back by his husband

[gurggggleburgle]

on the one hand Moshang is considered a incredibly romantic and wholesome love story by demon standards is funny and I love it I also do think the idea that for an ice demon specifically Mobei-jun is a cringe sap and overly expressive and romantic to the point of being a freak to other demons is just much chucklery. I mean, this man out here looking like an emotionally constipated rock is actually on so many laxatives he's been shitting a stream of emotional pebbles for the past decade is just so silly. In general, I just think Mobei-jun is funniest when he is in fact just weird by virtually all metrics but nobody can or will say anything.

[crhinge]

Breaking Down The Classic Rom-Com

I feel like I haven’t written a fun post in a hot sec so lets talk about one of my favorite subjects: Rom Coms

According to wikipedia, a Rom Com, also known as Romantic Comedy, is “a subgenre of comedy and slice-of-life fiction, focusing on lighthearted, humorous plot lines centered on romantic ideas, such as how true love is able to surmount most obstacles.” In the past, Romantic Comedies have also been called “Chick Flicks” but I think this is devaluing of both women and  the romantic comedy genre. 

The other day, I woke up to find that the most wholesome rom-com couple of all time reunited: Matty & Jenna (Aka Mark Ruffalo & Jennifer Garner). This got me thinking about the beauty of the Rom-Com and how unappreciated they can be. It has been years since we have seen a rom-com with the cultural impact of 13 Going on 30, and I would like to petition for more of them after a sad and painful year. 

I can already hear the millions (in my head this blog is extremely popular) of comments “What about To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before?!?” “What about The Kissing Booth?!?” And too that I say, "Good Riddance!” If you’re rating your rom coms on a TATBILB scale, or even WORSE The Kissing booth, I feel sorry for you. Truly I do. So let's dive into the best Rom Coms of all time, but first... 

What makes a Rom-Com good? Well let's start with a relatable as hell main character. I am talking a girl (sometimes guy), who has many flaws, but the audience can see themselves within her/him. Let's use Jenna Rink from 13 Going On 30 as an example. Well, she's literally a 13 year old in a 30 year olds body, but don’t we all still have a preteen hiding inside of all of us? She is 100% willing to be herself at every step, even if that means dancing thriller all alone. She touches on all of our insecurities, while teaching us how to break down our walls. 

Rom-Coms also need characters to make realistic choices. This does not mean that the movie itself is realistic, but rather than you can understand the choices the characters make. Again, 13 going on 30 does a fabulous job of this. Obviously, Jenna traveling in time because of wishing powder is not realistic, but the choices that her and her past self make are. Due to the insecurities of her childhood and a need to feel included, relevant, and powerful Jenna pushes important people out of her life, which happens to so many people in the real world. These decisions force her to miss out on the love of her life, and ultimately, the story ends sadly: the love of her life marries someone else and she is left with tears, wishing powder, and an old doll house. That is until she is able to travel back in time and change the course of her life. 

Lastly, Every classic Rom-Com couple needs to have chemistry. There. I said it. Hollywood loves just casting random famous actors without giving them a proper chemistry read. One great example of this is Julianne Hough and Josh Duhamel in Safe Haven. Both fun, famous, Hollywood actors who have zero chemistry. Mark Ruffalo and Jennifer Garner had more chemistry throwing back Razzles than those two did during an intimate sex scene. 

Alright, now that we have broken down the requirements of a Romantic Comedy, let's jump into the best and worst of all time.

Best: When Harry Met Sally. 9/10. A classic. A tale as old as time. Both Sally & Harry are very flawed, yet relatable characters. Sally is too picky and particular, while Harry is a player. They both suck at relationships, but make rational decisions based on their motivations. We all have friends like these two and their chemistry is on point, both on a friendship and romantic level. They bounce off of one another splendidly. 

Worst: Sleepless in Seattle. 1/10 I know, this is a strong take, but this is a terrible movie about a stalker. Meg Ryan (I don’t even remember her character's name) is the stupidest most unrelatable character I have seen in a long time. She is extremely unlovable, cheats on her SO emotionally, and flies across the country to stalk a man that she has never met before. And then you’re telling me that Tom hanks FALLS FOR HER? Nope. No. I refuse to except this. Plus, their chemistry in this is pretty mediocre (You’ve Got Mail is Way Better) and we only get to see them together once. 

Best: 10 Things I Hate About You. 8/10. I was tempted to leave all high School Rom-Coms off this list, but Heath Ledger is my exception. Talk about likability. Kat is a strong, powerful, independent woman who learns how to be more vulnerable while still being a feminist badass. We all wanted to be Kat growing up. Meanwhile Heath Ledger is the classic bad boy with a soft side, and who wasn’’t into that? Both characters grow into new people throughout the movie making them relatable, complex, and realistic. Not to mention the angel that is Joseph Gordon Levitt, who keeps the audience up beat and smiling throughout the course of this Shakespeare tale

Best: My Big fat Greek Wedding. 10/10.  Have you seen this film recently? Because it is an absolute DELIGHT and so relatable. It dives into the difficulty of family expectation and cultures merging. It also has the cutest proposal of all time with a realistic couple that fights for one another on a daily basis. You laugh. You cry. You get a dynamic cast with wonderful chemistry. You feel invested in the family and the relationship. Just a joyful wonderful film.

Worst: Something Borrowed. 0/10. If you’ve never seen this movie, don’t. Ginnifer Goodwin sleeps with her best friends fiancé and we’re supposed to be okay with it because she liked him first. Hard pass. And she ignores John Krazinski who is right in front of her. She is unlikable, unreliable, and makes dumb decisions that no one else would. 

Best: He’s just not that into you. 9/10  I will go to bat for this movie. It follows several realistic storylines in a Love Actually manor, except they actual seem legit. A woman realizing her boyfriend is never going to marry her. A girl facing the fact that maybe some guys just aren’t that into her, and she isn’t an exception to the rule. A man slowly making the decision to cheat on his wife as they are growing apart. A woman realizing that she is worth way more than her bastard husband. A woman realizing that the person she’s sleeping with will never leave his wife for her. It's compelling, has realistic characters that we can relate to, and still warms your heart in the end. 

Best: The Big Sick. 8/10. Okay to be fair, this is based on a true story so it automatically has realistic characters and decisions. Maybe I should leave this off of the list, but I wish this film got the recognition it deserves. Two lovable main characters who make mistakes that are understandable. Wonderful chemistry between Kumail and his girlfriend as well as her family. 

Best: About Time. 11/10 This is hands down the best Rom-Com of all time and Potentially the best film of all time as well. If you don’t cry in this movie you do not have a heart or soul. The characters are SO insanely likable and adorable.It touches on the importance of family and valuing time and how little of it we have. The chemistry within the whole cast is palpable, and we can all relate to at least one character, whether it is the protagonist Tim, his wife Mary, his sister Kit-Kat, or his father. 

Well it is important to point out the obvious here: this list is lacking diversity in a huge way. All but one of these movies follow a cis, straight, white couple, and that is extremely concerning. People have attempted to make more diverse rom-coms over the past few years, but they all seem to be lacking one of the three core components of what makes a rom-com great: Relatable, realistic, and great chemistry. For example. Crazy Rich Asians was a fantastic film, but the high level of wealth that Nick Young comes from, made his character difficult to relate to, and I’m sorry but the chemistry just wasn’t there for me. Always Be My Maybe’s characters fell flat and it’s not a film I would want to watch more than once. Love Simon made some huge waves for LGBTQ representation in the media, but that ending kiss was unrealistic along with his friends reaction to fining out he was lying, which left the movie anti-climactic by the end. 

Now, the most recent film on this list was made in 2017. And before that 2013. So where have all the Rom Coms gone? Why don’t we see more of them. There are a few Rom Coms that could be contenders on the “Best” list from the last couple of years that include a small amount of diversity: 

Yesterday 7/10. The big question here is does this count as a romantic comedy? The love story isn’t the main plot, but is definitely a large sub-plot. This movie features an interracial couple and is highly re-watchable. The main characters are entertaining, relatable, and have pretty good chemistry. We will see if it stands the test of time. 

The Broken Hearts Gallery 7/10. This movie has gotten NO recognition. The main character, Lucy, is an extremely likable 20 something, not unlike our Ginnifer Goodwin in He’s Just not that Into You. The plot is fun and predictable but keeps you watching. I don’t know if this one will stay on my list long, but it’s definitely up there. 

But here is my challenge to Hollywood: create some new, beautiful Rom Coms that celebrate diversity but that don’t throw away the relatable, realistic, and high chemistry characters that we are just waiting to fall in love with. It’s got like 16 ideas up my sleeve, so just give me a call Hollywood. 

[tomorrowsdrama]

2020 Year in Thirst Pt. 2

Sometimes, I will watch a drama for the plot/premise/substance and be rewarded with a surprise hottie, and it’s the best feeling ever!  It’s like finding money in your pocket that you didn’t know about.  The following list of dramas can be described as:

Came for the plot, was rewarded with a surprising side of thirst

1. Flower of Evil

Brief Summary: Lee Jun Ki plays Baek Hee Sung and Moon Chae Won plays Cha Ji Won, his wife who is also a detective.  What Ji Won doesn’t know is that her husband, Hee Sung, is actually Hyun Soo, a man on the run from a murder that he did not commit and also a suspected accomplice to a series of murders committed by his father in the past.  Oh yeah, his dad secretly tried to groom him into being his protege/murder partner.  Because of how he was raised, HS believes that he has no emotions and is simply putting on an act as the perfect husband and father.  His “parents” are in on the ruse and are actually the ones who forced him into assuming their comatose son’s identity.  Anyway, of course things from the past start to catch up with HS and his wife is somehow assigned to investigating his old murder case.  She of course feels betrayed, but also conflicted as she discovers her husband is not who he said he was and a prime murder suspect.  Things get even more complicated as the real murderer re-appears with fabulous long hair and tries to frame HS for the murders.  In between all of this are delicious make outs between the couple and at least one instance where they banged so hard, HS was wiped out the next morning.

Surprise Thirst Factor: I checked out this drama fully expecting to drop it because the promos were so misleading and unappealing. But boy was I in for a pleasant surprise!  Not only was the drama super addicting, it also had some nice eye candy in the form of Lee Jun Ki being a completely unrealistic house husband who satisfies in the housework (The man cooks and does the laundry!), childcare, and bedroom and Kim Ji Hoon’s glorious mane of beauty making viewers have a moral crisis over lusting after a homicidal maniac (who turned out to be a real loser without murder daddy around to clean up his mess.  It’s ok, we’ll always have his hair).

Yes, work that hair honey.  It’s the only good thing you’ve got going on for you (the character, not Kim Ji Hoon)

The chemistry between Lee Jun Ki and Moon Chae Won was fire and the make out scenes were soo believable.  Like yes, these two beautiful people are really into being married to each other and understandably want to make out all the time. 

He’s the primary caretaker for their daughter and it’s just *swoons.*  Not all thirst traps come in the form of sexy abs (although I would not mind if he wanted to flash some).

2. Six Flying Dragons

Brief Summary: The story of young Yi Bang Won (who later becomes King Taejong) and the founding of the Joseon Dynasty.  As short as it sounds, that really is an accurate summary of the drama haha.

Surprise Thirst Factor: I started watching this drama because I heard it was a great sageuk and I’m a big fan of Yoo Ah In.  Even though I’m a fan of his acting, Yoo Ah In doesn’t necessarily get my hormones raging so I wasn’t expecting to be so thirsty while watching Six Flying Dragons.  But then.  BUT THEN.  Byun Yo Han showed up in all his scruffy tortured deadly killer glory and my hormones woke up and said hi, hello, who are you, what’s your name, what’s your sign, can I get your number?  The deadlier and more tortured his character got, the sexier he became to me.  Sorry Yoo Ah In, you’ll always be my acting boo, but Byun Yo Han’s got my thirst.  Byun Yo Han looks so good when he's sad and/or covered in blood, it makes me feel like a sadist for thinking that I wouldn’t mind if the drama made his character cry some more.

3. Ever Night S1

Brief Summary: As a child, Ning Que witnessed his entire household get massacred because of a prophecy that the child of Hades will be born from the house and bring about the Eternal Night.  Somehow, he managed to escape and was the lone survivor.  He finds a baby buried in a pile of dead bodies as he’s fleeing and names her Sang Sang.  The two orphans grow up inseparable from each other and do whatever it takes to survive in the harsh, cruel world.  Ning Que earns money by becoming a deadly mercenary and Sang Sang takes care of the household affairs.  At one point, Ning Que becomes a disciple of the powerful Fu Zi and somehow gets entangled in the struggles between the Holy Sect and Demon Sect.  A bunch of beautiful women fall for Ning Que, and the drama tries its hardest to convince us that he has chemistry with and reciprocates the feelings of one of them (i.e. Mo Shan Shan), but anybody who was even half paying attention knows that the only one for Ning Que is Sang Sang.  They are the OTP of all OTPs and take “ride or die” to a whole other level. Oh also, their height difference is the stuff manga dreams are made of. Ning Que is a “good guy” but also not a “good guy” in the sense that he is not above doing whatever it takes to seek revenge and is only out for himself and Sang Sang (and later, his older brothers and sisters from the academy).

Surprise Thirst Factor: Chen Feiyu is an attractive person but I could not in good conscience thirst after him because he was literally born in the year 2000.  It did not help that he was only 18 when he filmed Ever Night and looked every bit his age.  My thirst may have no shame, but it does have its own set of principles and one of those principles is thou shalt not lust after those born in the new millennium!  Luckily for me, Second Brother is played by Dylan Kuo who is a beautiful, elegant, tall man

and Brother Chao is exactly the type of rugged and manly that I am into.  

(you don’t have to be)

who looks better when wet

AHEM. Yeah.

Sixth Brother is also not so bad with his scanty pounding work attire,

4. Novoland: Eagle Flag

Brief Summary:  Asule is the prince of a tribe in the grasslands who is held as a royal guest (i.e. hostage) in the Eastland Empire.  There he meets his two future best friends, Yu Ran, a free spirited princess who is descended from a race of bird people, and Ji Ye, an emo neglected/shunned son of a concubine who is probably the best fighter in the empire.  Ji Ye loves Yu Ran who is a ball of sunshine to his Johnny Raincloud dark emo self.  Yu Ran loves Ji Ye back.  Asule loves both his friends and will do anything to protect them.  The world decides to fuck over best friends Asule, Ji Ye, and Yu Ran for no reason as they try their best to just live a peaceful life away from all the political scheming and fighting.

Surprise Thirst-worthiness: I was completely content with enjoying Eagle Flag purely for its story and substance.  It’s seriously a wonderful, yet heartbreaking drama and the scale of the production is amazing.  No cheap $10 costumes here.  Also, the direction is beautiful/artistic and not the run of mill “let’s shoot it and complete it as fast as we can.”  The two main actors were cute, but not really my type.  Then the drama decided to give Ji Ye the “Sexy Bloody Tormented Killer Makeover” and all of a sudden your girl was rushing to MDL to check Chen Ruo Xuan’s birthday and calculating his age.  I am simple, predictable, and consistent when it comes to my thirst and give a character some scruff, long hair, angst, and some bloodlust and I’m all yours.  I am literally:

Is it wrong that when Ji Ye showed up looking like this ready to kill his mother’s torturer

I thought, yes, can we have him kill another? 

5. Run On

Brief Summary: Im Siwan plays Ki Seon Geom, a national track runner from a rich family who is a bit of an oddball and marches to his own beat.  Although his words can sometimes be construed as rude since he has no filter, they are also completely honest and have no hidden meaning.  He also has his own personal code that he lives by and he will stick to it no matter how negatively it may impact himself.  He meets Oh Mi Joo, a translator with her own strange quirks and sparks fly as Mi Joo is assigned to be his interpreter.  

Surprise Thirst-worthiness: I kind of watched this drama by accident.  I had read about Im Siwan starring in a new drama but nothing I saw from the description or promos for Run On appealed to me.  Nor did it give me any information about what the drama would be about.  Then one day, I just happened to be browsing Netflix for something to play in the  background and decided on Run on since I thought I wouldn’t be that invested.  What a happy accident that turned out to be because I’m so in love with this drama right now.  This is a case where the thirst does not stem from the character’s physical appearance, but from the intensity/charisma the actor brings to the character and the character himself.  Ki Seon Geom is so odd, but so appealing at the same time and Im Siwan is so magnetic in the role.  Prior to Run On, Im Siwan wasn’t really my type physically.  In fact, I always scratched my head whenever people called him handsome in dramas (I know, I know, forgive me).  So color me shocked when I found myself swooning all over Im Siwan in the second episode of Run On.  Now, it’s like I have “Im Siwan is attractive” glasses on and he looks attractive in everything to me.  I want to gobble up all the dramas he’s been in.

[introvertguide]

Chinatown (1974); AFI #21

The next movie that we reviewed was a very dark example of neo-noir film directed by Roman Polanski, Chinatown (1974). This film was a throwback to very dark crime thrillers that reflected the outlook of a Great Depression followed by world war. Polanski was experiencing a very dark period since he had just moved to America to get married and immediately lost his wife and unborn son in a horrific murder. The film was well received by critics and audiences, but it could not stand against the award winning juggernaut which was The Godfather Part 2. Polanski’s film was nominated for 11 Academy awards but only took one home for best original screenplay, a category that didn’t include The Godfather Part 2. It is hard to describe how incredibly down beat this film is without spoiling too early, so let me give the breakdown with the standard warning:

SPOILER ALERT!!! THIS IS A MURDER MYSTERY SO THE PLOT IS ABOUT TO BE WELL SPOILED!!! IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE FILM FIRST, NOW IS THE TIME TO STEP AWAY!!! COME BACK AFTER YOU SEE THE FILM!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

In 1937, a woman identifying herself as Evelyn Mulwray hires private investigator J. J. "Jake" Gittes (Jack Nicholson) to follow her husband, Hollis Mulwray, the chief engineer at the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power. Gittes tails him, hears him publicly refuse to create a new reservoir that would be unsafe, and shoots photographs of him with a young woman, which are published on the front page of the following day's paper. Back at his office, Gittes is confronted by a woman who informs him she is the real Evelyn Mulwray (Faye Dunaway) and that he can expect a lawsuit.

Realizing he was set up, Gittes assumes that Hollis Mulwray is the real target. Before he can question him, Lieutenant Lou Escobar fishes Mr. Mulwray, drowned, from a reservoir. Under retainer to Mrs. Mulwray, Gittes investigates with suspicions of murder and notices that although there is a drought, huge quantities of water are being released from the reservoir every night. Gittes is warned off by Water Department Security Chief Claude Mulvihill and a henchman (Roman Polanski) who slashes one of Gittes' nostrils. Back at his office, Gittes receives a call from Ida Sessions, who identifies herself as the imposter Mrs. Mulwray. She is afraid to identify her employer but tells Gittes to check the day's obituaries.

Gittes learns that Mulwray was once the business partner of Evelyn's wealthy father, Noah Cross (John Huston). Over lunch at his personal club, Cross warns Gittes that he does not understand the forces at work, and offers to double Gittes' fee to search for Mulwray's missing mistress. At the hall of records, Gittes discovers that much of the Northwest Valley has recently changed ownership. Investigating the valley, he is attacked by angry landowners who believe he is an agent of the water department attempting to force them out by sabotaging their water supply.

Gittes deduces that the water department is drying up the land so it can be bought at a reduced price and that Mulwray was murdered when he discovered the plan. He discovers that a recently deceased retirement home resident is one of the valley's new landowners and seemingly purchased the property a week after his death. Gittes and Evelyn bluff their way into the home and confirm that the real-estate deals were surreptitiously completed in the names of several of the home's residents. Their visit is interrupted by the suspicious retirement-home director, who has called Mulvihill.

After fleeing Mulvihill and his thugs, Gittes and Evelyn hide at Evelyn's house and sleep together. During the night, Evelyn gets a phone call and must leave suddenly; she warns Gittes that her father is dangerous. Gittes follows Evelyn's car to a house, where he spies her through the windows comforting Mulwray's mistress, Katherine. He accuses Evelyn of holding the woman against her will, but she says Katherine is her sister.

The next day, an anonymous call draws Gittes to Ida Sessions' apartment, where he finds her murdered and Escobar waiting for Gittes' arrival. Escobar tells him the coroner's report found salt water in Mulwray's lungs, indicating that he did not drown in the fresh water of the reservoir. Escobar suspects Evelyn of the murder and tells Gittes to produce her quickly. At Evelyn's mansion, Gittes finds her servants packing her things. He realizes her garden pond is salt water and discovers a pair of bifocals in it. He confronts Evelyn about Katherine, whom Evelyn now claims is her daughter. After Gittes slaps her (a lot), she tells him that Katherine is her sister and her daughter; her father raped her when she was 15. She says that the glasses are not Mulwray's, as he did not wear bifocals.

Gittes arranges for the women to flee to Mexico and instructs Evelyn to meet him at her butler's home in Chinatown. He summons Cross to the Mulwray home to settle their deal. Cross admits his intention to annex the Northwest Valley into the City of Los Angeles, then irrigate and develop it. Gittes accuses Cross of murdering Mulwray. Cross has Mulvihill take the bifocals at gunpoint, and they force Gittes to drive them to the women. When they reach the Chinatown address, the police are already there and detain Gittes. When Cross approaches Katherine, Evelyn shoots him in the arm and starts to drive away with Katherine. The police open fire, killing Evelyn. Cross clutches Katherine and leads her away, while Escobar orders Gittes released. Lawrence Walsh, one of Gittes' associates, tells him: "Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I really cannot emphasize how much of a bummer ending this film has. It is right up there (down there) with Sophie’s Choice. A man who pays to dump water so that he can purchase cheap farm land, kills his partner who threatens to tell, and rapes his own 15-year-old daughter is the antagonist. In the end, he is released to take custody of his young granddaughter without punishment after the police shoot the daughter that he raped. The investigator who tried to help and solved the mystery is left with no say and a slit nostril for his troubles. Polanski later said in interviews that he wanted to emphasize the futility of trying to find justice in Los Angeles. Both his life and this movie really proved that as a fact. It is funny that the screenwriter who won the academy award wanted Cross to die and Evelyn to live, but Polanski insisted and the dark tone is what pushed the award in their favor.

There was some discussion about finding an actor that was willing to be the lead with a bandaged face or prosthetic injury for most of the movie. It was still all about face time and dialogue, so most lead actors didn’t want to cover up their face. Nicholson was not actually known for his good looks as much as other actors, so he was more willing to take on the role. Actually, it was Nicholson who wanted to work on a project with Polanski and suggested the script in the first place. Also, Nicholson really connected with Polanski at the time and was not afraid to play dark roles. Jon Huston was not as keen on the heavy pedophile incest role since he had a lovely young daughter of his own (actress Angelica Huston). It turned out to be a good choice for all the actors involved.

Something that came up during the viewing with my housemates was reactions to the scene when Jack Nicholson is slapping Faye Dunaway when she is admitting that the girl she visits is both her sister and her daughter. She keeps alternating between “she’s my sister” and “she’s my daughter” and each statement is punctuated with a slap in the face by Jack Nicholson. It is supposed to be deeply serious and a major reveal in the movie, but we were laughing so hard at the absurdity. It was truly unrealistic and more of a trope of film noir than anything else (slapping a hysterical woman). It truly was a throwback to 40s and 50s style Hollywood and some of the standards of film story telling at that time were a bit silly. 

I have reviewed this move in more ways than I thought because I realized on this viewing that the video game L.A. Noir borrows very heavily from this film. So many aspects, from the locations to the situations to the soundtrack, were all put into the video game. I have spent many hours of my life playing through that game a number of times and I am shocked each time. I am curious if Rockstar Games had to pay any money to Roman Polanski for such a close similarity to the film? I tried to look it up but didn’t find anything, so probably not. 

So should this film by on the AFI to 100? For sure. It is an Old Hollywood story about even older Hollywood. It stands out as one of the darkest endings that I have ever experienced. It has major star power and surrounded by amazing stories of Hollywood. Would I recommend it? I sure would. It is a great trip around old Hollywood with some of America’s greatest actors. I think just as interesting is the story of Roman Polanski (who I did an article on as well) and why his head space was so dark during the production of this film. Definitely worth a watch and a background deep dive.

[sillyteecup]

Protection

Daveed Diggs x Black!reader

Warnings:

A little self doubt but nothing else

A.N: Okay so I lied. I was listening to No takebacks and Protection by Kiana Ledé and I just had to. Anyway, hope you guys like it❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your fingers pressed on the key for what must've been the thousandth time, trying to find the perfect sound. It still wasn't it. You yelled out in frustration as tears prickled through your eyes. You hated when this happened. When your mind was completely blank. It drove you insane.

You wanted to try again but this time before your fingers could touch the keys, the little elastic keeping your feelings in check snapped. You didn't even realize that Daveed had joined you from the kitchen and was sitting next to you in front of the piano.

"Hey, hey, you okay?" he asked softly, rubbing circles on your back because he knew it calmed you down. You lifted your head from you hands to face the bane of your existence. This fucking piano. You glanced down at your trembling hands and back at the instrument before slowly shaking your head no. "I have a deadline and I can't play shit to save my life right now," you croaked. At that moment you were grateful for Daveed's presence. He was the only constant in your life. The only person who stuck around through thick and thin. Your whole ass life force. Till death do you apart.

"You know, sometimes the worst sounds make the best melodies," Daveed said gently with a light shrug. "Well not all of us are artistically gifted like you Diggs," you scoffed. He threw his hands up in mock surrender. "Hey don't take it out on me. The piano's the problem," he protested. You chuckled softly. He smiled. He loved making you smile and laugh. It was all he lived for.

"You hungry?" he asked. Genuine concern pooled in his eyes. "Yeah, I could eat," you said softly. His smile reached both his ears. "Great cause I just finished cooking. I know how exhausted you are and I just want you to relax," he explained. A small smile danced onto your lips. "How about you pick something to watch while I dish up."

You made your way to the couch while Daveed ran back into the kitchen. You went through Netflix and settled on The Witcher. Daveed hated it. He was jealous of your crush on Henry found it unrealistic. Still he'd find himself paying enough attention to criticize everything which pissed you off but kind of made you laugh. You got comfortable and waited for Daveed. You began to hum Protection by Kiana Ledé and once again didn't notice him when he entered the living room.

"You sound phenomenal," he said from the doorway holding two plates with a look of nothing but pure adoration for you in his eyes. He snapped you out of your little daze. "Thanks, just wish I could play and write as well," you sighed defeatedly. Daveed frowned. He put your plates on the coffee table and joined you on the couch facing you. "I can't stand how you keep beating yourself up just because you're having a bad day. God knows I wish I had half as much talent as you. You're not terrible, you're just having an off day. It happens to the best of us, but you'll get through it. I know you will," he said softly. You found yourself lost in his emotionally vulnerable irises. Everyday this man gave you more and more reasons to love him unconditionally.

He pulled you into his ever so comforting embrace, not minding that your tears were staining one of his favourite Oakland sweaters. "I love you Y/N. More than you could ever understand, okay?" he cooed. "I love you too Daveed," you mumbled. Your voice was stiffled by the thick material of his sweater.

You pulled away from him and took a deep breath. Both of you picked up your food and dived right into The Witcher. As you had expected, Daveed was once again criticizing every little thing about the show while all you could do was laugh at your husband's shananigans. Eventually you got tired and laid your head on Daveed's shoulder. He looked down at you and smiled lazily. "Bed?" he whispered. You hummed and nodded your head.

He got up and picked you up bridal style. He carried you up to your shared bedroom and laid you down under the covers where you curled up into the most adorable little thing he had ever seen. You didn't mind because you hair was already ready for bed. He followed suit, wrapping his arm around your torso and pulling you closer so he could nuzzle his head into your neck. You thought about the song you were singing earlier and realized that Daveed gave you everything you needed. "Protection, you give me protection. When I need direction. Protection, protection," you sang softly. Daveed sighed in satisfaction and kissed you on your cheek. "I love you Y/N L/N, and I am willing to give you all that and so much more for the rest of my days," he whispered sleepily. "I love you too Daveed Diggs and I'm going to love you with everything I have for the rest of my days," you returned with a soft smile.

"Goodnight baby." was the last thing you said to each other before drifting off to sleep.

[atarahderek]

Let’s talk about shipping: Moana and Zootopia

Zootopia and Moana are two of the more popular CGI entries to the Disney animated canon. They came out the same year, with Zootopia beating Moana out for best animated feature at the 2017 Academy Awards due to the fact that Zootopia dealt with some sensitive topics of modern day society while Moana more or less played it safe with the plot and subject matter. Both were buddy films depicting an unlikely friendship between a strong female protagonist and a comical but troubled male deuteragonist. And despite the fact that both films ended with each friendship pair remaining just friends, shipping inevitably happened. Nick/Judy (the ship name of which I don’t actually know) and Moana/Maui (called Moaui or Hooked Wayfinder) are both quite popular ships among Disney fans. Like all non-canon ships, they have some controversy surrounding them, mostly regarding whether making either pair an official couple would subvert the storyline, character development or message that were established in canon. For that reason, the issue of shipping in each fandom has created two main camps: Those who do and those who don’t. Those who don’t tend to stand firmly by their assertion that it would be detrimental to make Nick and Judy or Moana and Maui a couple. They prefer to treat each pair as platonic life partners, in part because their being so would avert the standard Disney coupling tropes. Especially in the case of Moana and Maui. Fans will sometimes ship one pair but not the other. In that case, the shipped pair is much more commonly Nick and Judy, as they are ship teased by the film’s writers and directors, and their interspecies relationship would make them stand out somewhat in the context of their story, especially with one being a predator and the other being prey. Moaui is shipped less frequently because fans don’t find as much payoff in that couple in terms of progressivism and virtue signalling. Basically, Moaui is just too plain vanilla for them, and they seem to think that’s a problem.

To those people, I say you just lack imagination. A couple doesn’t have to be a token to be interesting. Héctor and Imelda aren’t a token couple, but they’re quite interesting, and all of you will admit it (more on this later). Also, vanilla is delicious, so there.

As far as chemistry goes, Nick and Judy are identical to Moana and Maui. Both pairs start off as antagonistic to one another and eventually develop a true friendship over the course of their first adventure. Both even endure a plot-mandated friendship failure, a staple of Disney and Pixar films these past several years. Both end their films as good friends and nothing more. And both leave the future of their relationships entirely up to fan interpretation. Which is why I say that if you do or don’t ship either pair, more power to you. I can understand why you do or why you don’t.

For my part, I’m in one of the smallest camps; I ship Moaui, but not Nick/Judy.

I have two primary reasons for not shipping Nick and Judy:

They don’t need to be a couple. Zootopia is a modern metropolis identical in almost every way to American society. It is a melting pot of every mammalian species and culture in the world, with relationships of every type represented, including one that is both interspecies and same sex. So tick off the diversity box, those of you who are keeping score at home. About the only type of relationship we don’t see is between a predator and a prey species, but there’s absolutely no reason Nick and Judy must be that token couple. There is no pressure on either of them to find romance, be it in one another or in someone else entirely. For all we know, both are asexual and aromantic (I very much doubt that, but it could happen). And in the context of their society, there’s no reason they should be in any kind of relationship. Making them a couple wouldn’t really add anything to their characters or impact their society in a way that would be unique from any similar couple impacting it. Nick and Judy are free to remain best friends. And I like them better that way. That’s not to say there aren’t some adorable pieces of shippy fan art out there, as well as ship fics that are quite good. But I just don’t see any need to ship them myself.

Their careers get in the way. Nick and Judy are partners on the police force. And as long as they work in the same precinct, it’s best that they not become romantically involved. This is standard workplace practice for most police departments, because romantic relationships can get in the way of field work. Many other employers discourage couples from working in the exact same area as well. My employers actually go out of their way to assure that siblings, parent/child pairs, and couples never work in the same house. Allowing people who are that close to work just as closely could potentially lead to conflict, divided loyalty, distraction or, worst of all, an enemy exploiting the relationship. All of which could compromise a case or put lives in danger. If Nick and Judy were to start working separately in different precincts, then I could see them safely developing a relationship with little or no risk to their careers. But as things stand now, it’s just better that they don’t become romantically involved. Any story where they did would have to address this issue and find a realistic resolution for it.

I really have one primary reason for shipping Hooked Wayfinder, and it’s basically the opposite of my first point for not shipping Nick and Judy. And it focuses mostly on Moana herself:

Moana will get married someday. And in my opinion, Maui would make the best match for her. I already explained the relationship dynamic that they would have in an earlier head canon meme I wrote. I believe Moana and Maui’s marriage would be one of political and social convenience, and they’d treat it like a friends-with-benefits situation. As heiress to the position of Motonui chieftain, Moana would be expected to strike a good match that would establish her as a strong leader with a lot of influence, especially when dealing with any other people whom the people of Motonui meet on their voyages. And because Moana’s people have been declining in population, Moana will be expected to have kids and keep the line of chieftains going strong. Basically, Moana’s situation is almost polar opposite to Nick and Judy’s situation. There is a lot of pressure on her to marry and have kids, and it’s downright unrealistic of her to not end up married with a family. Her cultural context won’t allow her to pull a Merida (even in Merida’s case, she was granted an extension of time and the right to choose her suitor; she is still obligated to eventually marry). But this is Moana we’re talking about. She wants to prove herself as a leader, and she would not be the type to tolerate an obligatory husband stealing her spotlight. She needs a man who will support her as her people’s leader, who will be there to act as added muscle if someone challenges her (but only if she needs him to), and who will generally let her be herself. Maui is the only man she knows who would be willing to do all of that. Yes, he’s hammy, but he wouldn’t steal Moana’s thunder as a leader. Just as a performer. And Moana can live with that. Moana would definitely take the lead in the relationship, as her position as chief allows her to do that, even over a demigod. Maui’s been absent for the last millennium and was the cause of their recent problems to begin with, so he doesn’t carry a whole lot of authority with Moana’s people. Marrying Moana would actually give some of that authority back to him. But he would still be her second, not the other way around. True, they are no token couple, but they are still an interesting one. It’s unusual in media to show the wife as the one who is front and center in the relationship without making her seem naggy or otherwise unrealistic. 

A good example of such a couple is Héctor and Imelda from Pixar’s Coco. Yes, Imelda has a fiery temper, and can come across as nagging or the type who would treat Héctor like a whipped puppy (Ernesto almost certainly accused Héctor of being such at some point). But in every single one of their interactions as a couple (when they’re not estranged, that is), it is shown that Héctor and Imelda are nothing but the best team a married couple can be. She’s the alpha to his beta, but she doesn’t nag him or treat him as subservient in any way, form or manner. And he fully supports her out of genuine love and not a trace of fear. He is completely dedicated to her, even though she played a not-insignificant role in his nearly being forgotten. They are just as compelling as a couple as they are as individual characters.

But those two are also more traditionally romantic (i.e. sappy). Moana and Maui wouldn’t be that type of couple. Maybe they’d wax romantic every now and again, but their focus would be on their relationship as a leadership team. They’d bicker and joke much the same way siblings would. They would definitely be family, and they would definitely enjoy the more carnal aspects of their married relationship. But they wouldn’t be singing cheesy love ballads to one another or making out in front of the kids (unless it was to very deliberately embarrass them). Their marriage wouldn’t cause them to lose any of the chemistry they had in the film, and would actually add an interesting component to that chemistry. They would have a relationship unlike any seen in Disney so far, and I think it could really add to their characters and their storyline.

In the case of either movie, I would be just as content with a Zootopia sequel that made Nick and Judy an official couple as I would with a Moana sequel that made Moana and Maui an official couple--so long as it’s done right. I don’t think any fan would be happy if either of these power teams became strangled by the red string.

[let-sanji-say-fuck]

Hello again! So, how about that: we know, what Vismoke's brothers, are really mean to all aroun them, but what if they have a marriage of convenience, and in order to piss off their bride, they will mock her in every possible way, but instead of tears they will get a face blow to the wall and "Are you want to die, fucker? You annoying" Like, very strong and confident girl. Like, their reactions and future relationship? (i hope i write it right, because my english not so good).

Oh, this sounds promising! Your English is just fine, my darling, I gotchu~! I’m honestly worried I didn’t get their characters totally right (Niji gave me a damn of a hard time lol), but I’m pretty darn proud of the research I did and the many vids I looked up for reference on these guys haha.

Warnings: mentions of abuse and harassment. These guys were born with no feelings, don’t really expect a happy marriage…

Vinsmoke Ichiji

Actually, he isn’t into mocking his wife that much. He doesn’t have any obligation to care for her, which makes him the kind of distant husband. From the moment they were back from the luxurious banquet of their wedding ceremony, he goes on with his life, and honestly expects her to do the same. They might live under the same roof now and share a bed (sometimes), but their relationship feels like anything but that of a married couple.

Most of their interactions end up being curt greetings or a couple of very meaningless “goodnight’s” before going to sleep. He doesn’t poke his nose into her business, and neither does she seem to care about him. Quite honestly, since they allow each other a fair amount of freedom, neither has complained about this bland lifestyle.

Sometimes, he might just open his mouth outside of these ordinary cases, and I’ll let you know that it’s not going to be to tell her how beautiful and smart his wife is. Oh, no. There are times when they have a silent encounter in the library, or their room, and his s/o starts to hum quietly to herself while she reads, or to tap her foot against the carpet. Well, Ichiji would rather she kept quiet, and is not afraid of voicing exactly that. Sugarcoating is not his style.

He might be the most patient out of the three brothers, but his bullshit tolerance still runs thin very quickly. This is why when his wife continues doing whatever “annoying” noise as if she had never heard him – he might even start considering she’s hard of hearing, because that’s some nerve she got there! – he’ll soon start demanding that she leaves the room immediately, even if it was him who entered after her.

The glare she sends his way, he reluctantly decides to consider it strike two, going back to whatever he was doing just because causing some ruckus so early in their married life would mean discrediting the Vinsmoke family. Now, guess what is strike three and, ultimately, his tipping point? You got it: she started disrupting the peaceful quiet of the room once again.

When Ichiji pins her down by her jaw against the nearest surface without caring about her skin possibly being bruised by the force, and suggests to teach her some discipline, the last thing he expects is the piercing pain delivered on the juncture between his thumb and index finger. It takes him a couple of seconds to completely believe that his annoying little wife is biting him, but like hell he’s going to let her have it her way.

They just, kind of stay in that position, Ichiji’s fingers tightening as best as they could around her jaw, and so did her teeth on his sturdy skin, until she started to taste a few beads of blood. Only then does he jerk his hand away, noticing how she looks at him with big, defiant eyes, despite having reached to rub her sore jaw.

After he briskly left the room, their relationship cools down even more. There’s no verbal exchange between them anymore, his s/o starts to find countless other places to sleep rather than his bed, and several days can go by without neither knowing a thing about the other. Neither care, they both have as much freedom as if they weren’t married in the first place. Now it’s just a matter of time until his s/o can find a way to ditch him and both kingdoms…

Vinsmoke Niji

Niji can sense from the very beginning of their weird relationship that his wife isn’t one to let herself be bent and broken easily, which makes the idea of the marriage, although majorly undesirable, quite exciting for him. He makes it his goal to see that charmingly confident attitude of hers switch to submissive whenever he enters the room.

His first approach is going to feature intimidation. He’ll be perfectly able to sleep the night after he turns his s/o into a mushy puddle by cornering her against a wall and showing her who’s boss. However, things got a little turned against him when she just stared blankly at him, unimpressed, and hummed with an alarming amount of disdain coming from a person who was being squashed against a wall by a beating machine.

For the sake of his reputation and pride he’s not going to stop there. He tries about anything to soften her harsh exterior in his favor: one day he tried to get a satisfying reaction by knocking her dish over when they ate together (occurence which grew to be less frequent the more time they spent as a married couple) only to order her to clean it up, but she didn’t obey, looked at him as if he had lost his mind and left.

One night he tried to force himself on top of her on their bed, pressing his lips against hers and catching her wrists in a painful grip. When he tried to deepen the kiss after she had ceased her struggling, thinking that he had already won this match, she bit his lip with as much force as she could muster, which ended up leaving small dents on his flesh for over a week for his brothers to see.

Once he has run out of patience (which ends up happening sooner than it was expected, provoked by his brothers’ merciless teasing), Niji isn’t above slapping his wife into submission. What infuriates him the most, however, is that she always returns the hit, doesn’t let him submit her to his will. And what angers him even more is that her hits do hurt. He must have been stuffing his face in sweets somewhere when her skills were explained, otherwise he wouldn’t be surprised by the sting of the many bruises that appeared on his face and arms after their quarrels.

Niji hates that he got scolded by Judge for the injuries that his wife had caused on him. He called him weak and useless for the first time in ages, and if that didn’t infuriate Niji. He couldn’t even care about how dangerous it was for the alliance between the two kingdoms to hit his wife!

He hates that this relationship is making him feel like the weak one. He hates that his wife is so terribly unemotional, which was ironic enough, coming from a man like him. He hates that he can’t seem to make his father proud on this one, and that his brothers won’t let him live it down. The situation is so tense that a few punches have been delivered between the siblings, but nothing had the chance to escalate further thanks to Judge’s intervention.

Comes a point where Niji just kind of wants to call it quits, not that he actually has the option, but he doesn’t want to remain in a marriage that will put him through one failure after another. He might like strong-willed women, but he isn’t eager to spend his life with one that will just humilliate him. It’s so frustrating, but until he learns to live with it, he just starts to give her the cold shoulder and bitterly hope that something happens to make the alliance stop working, hopefully before he did actually go crazy.

Vinsmoke Yonji

While he does love a healthy amount of teasing, what he loves the most is appreciating the body of a fine lady such as his wife. Yonji is barely capable of keeping his hands to himself during meetings, during the wedding, during their first nights together.

He’s going to be infuriatingly touchy whenever his s/o walks past him. The caress on her forearm and the finger twirling a strand of hair, those small gestures she can mostly stand. They feel almost chaste coming from him, which catches her off guard since he was the one who had been whispering all kind of lecherous promises into her ear since they were paired together.

The actual problem arises when his hands become a little too treacherous and start to aim for her butt or chest, even in public spaces, although he tries to refrain himself a little – he has a reputation to keep clean. He doesn’t ask for permission though, always goes for what he believes that belongs to him.

The first time he found himself harshly pressed against the nearest wall after pinching his wife’s ass, he was utterly bewildered but, as he processed the situation and felt her fingers gripping tighter and tighter around his biceps… Boy, did it actually turn him on. He always liked the feisty type, after all.

He’s the kind of stubborn little shit who keeps messing with his s/o only to see the defiance in her reaction. Unfortunately for her, he learns to read her awfully right after the first mistake, and she often finds herself pressed up against the wall, looking up at him with those raging eyes that he likes so much.

Sometimes Yonji will let her have it her way, being just satisfied with how utterly angry she appears to be, but there are other times when he just enjoys seeing her lose her challenging composure, and will tease her mercilessly until she’s a scowling, disheveled mess.

He enjoys hearing her beg him to stop (or to keep going, but that might be unrealistic, given their tense relationship), so if she swallows her pride and does just that for him, he might let her go easily. There’s something about her disappointed frown and angry tears that he finds pleasant to the eye.

He sometimes wakes up with deep bite marks all over the fingers he had used to molest her the day before, but it’s really nothing that can’t be fixed. Even though it might get annoying after the first few times it happens, Yonji just happens to think that it’s a funny attempt to punish him for his moves. His wife quickly learns, though, that he enjoys returning the favor, preferably all over her neck.

[the1rei]

Little Moments: Reboot Chapter Six: Family Matters By  Ericobard and shadows59 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Fandom: Ben 10 Series Relationship: Ben Tennyson/Gwen Tennyson Some Additional Tags: Bullying, No proofreading, Family is Drama, Long burn

It became known as 'Bloody Christmas.'  Which was sad as Ben and Gwen had been getting along so well.  Still, it gave Ben the chance to be Gwen's hero.

Read my review below:

It is unrealistic that the parents are so nervous about spending this time together. Ben and Gwen have spent the last three months studying together without much problem, and three months in close quarters before that. Their fathers seem to like spending time together 'watching the game at the pub', so it seems like Lili and Sandra can't spend a few hours together and manage to act like adults. If this was only Gwen and Ben's fear, this wouldn't be such a problem, but the parents recognize the potential conflict and can't take steps to avoid it? This paints them as just overgrown children.

Again here we have Ben's parents doting over Gwen, whereas Ben gets no reciprocal affection from Gwen's. This could be interesting if it fed into a complex on Ben's part, but there's no evidence of that in the story. So it continues only to serve to show that Gwen is the central character of the story.

Ben's parents insisting that Gwen call them by their first names only is very uncomfortable, to the degree that you would expect any normal person to reconsider insisting on it. However, this was and likely still is a fad among some parents. While I preferred it to be just vaguely talked about, I can't fault the way Shadows59 communicates just how uncomfortable it is.

Why are the 'Tradition is' sentences being cut off, there's no indication the women are cutting each other off so why aren't the sentences complete?

I love how fraternal Carl and Frank are in this story.

Why does Gwen beat Ben at the video game that he has been playing all morning and spends far more time in general playing video games?  Shadows59 is making it difficult for me not to call Gwen a Mary-Sue.

Gwen's mom got up to four, nearly to eight, what?  Where in the text is what they are talking about explained?

Shadows59 writes as if Ben picked up his present twice without putting it down. A proofreader is needed.

I'm not sure what is more unlikely. That Gwen would suggest a book on science at all for Ben instead of something he might read like a graphic novel or even just an adventure appropriate for his age range. That someone as meticulous as Gwen wouldn't have checked the book or wrapped it herself. Or that Natalie would think it was a good idea to go against her daughter's explicit advice and wishes to get her nephew 'A Brief History of Time' a book Gwen herself admitted she didn't fully comprehend. All this seems to occur for a bit of melodrama.  

I do like the idea that Ben would be interested in the guitar; he did seem to have some talent with them.

Adding Xylene into this earlier part of Max's life creates an unneeded conflict with the source material. Why put her into this story at all?

Again Gwen asserts that Ben is Max's favorite which makes the normally mature character seem unnecessarily immature and then she goes on to claim its a gendered thing and laments about her grandma being gone, the only reason for this is that she assumes that her grandmother with favor her for a gendered reason. All this even though she has never met Verdona and has no emotional attachment to her whatsoever as she says herself, no one talks about Verdona. Why is Gwen so sexist? It doesn't add an enduring flaw to the character and again just seems to be here for unneeded drama.

I do like that Shadows59 expanded on the book on magic that grandpa gave her. Writing out whole passages from it is probably a little much, but it's a good element to expand on.

The exchange about the King Arthur stories is needlessly complicated. First, Gwen has read them; then she hasn't, then she just skimmed the character names and remembered it, even though the Lady of the Lake has about ten names spelled in a variety of ways. Again this is just padding and fluff that adds nothing of substance to the story.

The fight, known as Bloody Christmas, is the key reason for this chapter being written. It starts out well; the parents are drinking wine, which can be very alcoholic, leading to speaking without entirely thinking. However, the need for it as a catalyst for the fight is undermined Sandra and Lili nearly getting into fights already and their anxiety about spending time together, showing that they are already childish enough to have this fight without any help. From there, a lot of the problems stem from people being childish. Frank has a childish temper-tantrum about Max never being there for them. In the original, the fallout of Max's absence from their lives growing up manifests in a friendly, bt cold distance between them. Shadows59 expertly compared their interactions with the interaction one has when meeting a former classmate. Here, Frank expresses jealousy over the time and attention his daughter gets from her grandfather. I do expect more maturity from this adult man, who has had a child of his own for a decade and a successful, high stress, high demand career, and being sober enough to drive home, Frank is not drunk enough to completely take leave of his facilities. Then Carl defends Max by attacking Frank's parenting. All that was said about maturity and sobriety apply here as well. Also, even within the reboot, there is no indication that there is animosity between Carl and Frank about parenting, they get along well by everything we've been shown. It's highly implied in both versions that Sandra and Lili are making the parenting decisions, and their husbands are going along with them; that's why the parenting fight was one between Sandra and Lili. I expect Frank and Carl to side with their wives, but generally to stay out of the fight because they are softer on the parenting question then their wives, as has been shown even in the reboot. That is why it feels too aggressive for Carl to take shots at Lili for her parenting; it's not his fight.  After the attack on Max, the fight again feels like it fits well, though it should be just Sandra and Lili fighting, right until the end, when Ben's parents attack Lili's motivation for her parenting method, but I'll address that next chapter.

I like the way Lili stands up for Ben's intelligence, it makes sense for her character given her problem is more with Sandra's parenting then Ben himself. It also gives back a little of the praise that Ben's parents have been showing on Gwen up to this point.

I like that in the middle of the fight Ben goes for the Omnitrix illustrating that he knows what's happening is wrong and the people he loves are being hurt, and his young mind only understands one way to stop something wrong and protect the people he cares about is a good piece of characterization for him.

Gwen's emotions causing magic to surge like that don't make sense within the context of how magic worked within the show. This shows how Shadows59 has changed how magic worked from both the original and the show. I will deal with this more in a later chapter.

"Gwen heard their parents scream and felt hers jump off the couch as they all went running around so they could unplug things and flip switches and find stuff to clean up with even as glass rained down on the floor." It is physically impossible for them to react this fast.

I like that Ben's first instinct is to protect Gwen even though this isn't a time that he needs to 'go hero.' However, it makes less sense that he would have this reaction to Lili, who was the least aggressive of the parents, and he just acknowledged that she defended his intelligence. Either of his parents would have been a better choice for this scene.

Shadows59 does a great job of expressing, in just a couple of lines, that Gwen feels responsible for causing the fight, by calling Ben a doofus. It makes sense for a character so young not to understand the difference between starting the fight and being the cause of the fight.

-Ericobard While I found things I liked in this chapter, it didn't add anything as a whole to the story and continues to add more to the problems that plague the reboot. Ben and Gwen's family is not your family; you shouldn't bring personal matters into a review or allow them to color your reading of the text. Sandra and Lili are the ones trying not to snap at each other, and their husbands are working to keep the peace. A characterization that is violated with the only excuse of 'they had a little too much wine.' Ben's parents aren't locked into a parenting style, that is the problem Lili has with them. Lili may think her method is the best, but Sandra has no method, just an ever-changing series of books. Lili isn't a perfect parent, but she is objectively the better parent.

(As always, please go leave Shadows59 a nice positive review he won’t delete.)

[adhoption]

Lord Haw-Haw

Today’s engrossing wikipedia rabbit hole was William Joyce, a Nazi propagandist who broadcast pro-German messages to Britain during WWII, known for his efforts as the infamous Lord Haw-Haw.

Highlights below:

Joyce has the distinction of being the last person in the UK to be hanged for treason. 

This fact is made slightly less impressive by the fact another man was hanged the following day... for treachery, which is apparently a completely different crime.

Why is treachery different from treason? Well, according to its article treachery was a new law introduced just for the war because treason was too hard to prove and prosecute. So they basically introduced an easier version of the same offence and just stuck a slightly different name on it.

The article for high treason is a treat. Alongside the obvious king-slaying, siding with the king’s enemies, and trying to disrupt the line of succession, a full half of the examples given are sexual: ‘sleeping with the king’s wife’, ‘sleeping with the heir to the throne’s wife’, and ‘sleeping with the king’s eldest daughter’ (any younger daughters are apparently fair game).

That sleeping around is apparently worthy of being listed with a death sentence, equivalent to killing the king, as part of a category of crimes that threaten the safety of the state. Monarchs were super jealous.

High treason is also separated from ‘petty treason’, which is the act of murdering a legal superior e.g. a servant killing their master, a wife killing her husband (!), or anyone killing a bishop, because apparently the UK used to be run on some wild set of chess-style rules.

You may be asking ‘hang on, isn’t that just murder anyway?’, which is the same question law-makers eventually figured out and then merged petty treason into the existing murder laws. It turns out that a pawn killing a bishop is not a different crime from a bishop killing a pawn, but a pawn or bishop killing a king or queen still is. 

Back to Lord Haw-Haw. People don’t even know where the nickname came from, or whether it was even intended to refer to Joyce. Supposedly it was hard to tell the difference between voices on the radio, and the article contains an actual list of people who “could have been Lord Haw-Haw”.

Other equally ridiculous nicknames were occasionally used to distinguish between obviously different speakers, such as the infamous Nazi “Sinister Sam”.

This confusion peaked with this absolute shambles - “In reference to the nickname, American pro-Nazi broadcaster Fred W. Kaltenbach was given the moniker Lord Hee-Haw by the British media. The Lord Hee-Haw name, however, was used for a time by The Daily Telegraph to refer to Lord Haw-Haw, generating some confusion between nicknames and broadcasters.” 

Joyce’s description isn’t flattering. He had been attacked by Communists and had a permanent scar from his mouth to his earlobe, just to give him that cliché look you might expect from your Hollywood Nazi villain. 

A face made for radio, then - but his voice wasn’t much better, only described as follows: “His distinctive nasal pronunciation of "Germany calling, Germany calling" may have been the result of a fight as a schoolboy that left him with a broken nose.” 

But not only did the Nazis look past that in appointing him as a radio broadcaster, he actually turned up to the interview with "a heavy cold and almost losing his voice” and they still hired him immediately. 

Who got him the interview? Dorothy Eckersley, who has her own wild story: she was the wife of the BBC’s programme planner Edward Clark, then left him for the BBC’s chief engineer Peter Eckersley (who was married, and had to resign because his boss was super religious and got the Archbishop of Canterbury involved), then fled to Germany and raised her son to be a Nazi broadcaster like Joyce.

Joyce was eventually captured in Flensburg, a town in northern Germany which was the capital of the Third Reich for its last few weeks of existence. There’s something satisfying in the idea of a random town (not even city) being the extent of the Third Reich, a national government of Nazis crammed into a town council hall still making proud noises like they’re going to take over the world.

Flensburg’s article is another unexpected treat. It begins by listing seven things the town is famous for in Germany. Surprisingly, being briefly chosen as the final world capital of the Nazi empire doesn’t make the list. Instead, Flensburg is known for its “large erotic mail-order companies” and “the greeting Moin Moin”. What a place to live.

Joyce was arrested by British forces including a returning German named Geoffrey Perry (born Horst Pinschewer), who had left Germany for England before the war and presumably changed to an English name to avoid anti-German sentiment. I’m on the guy’s side, but you have to appreciate the irony of a German-turned-Brit arresting a Brit-turned-German for treason.

Joyce’s arrest is summarised with the following incredible sentence: “After they asked whether he was Joyce, he reached into his pocket (actually reaching for a false passport); believing he was armed, they shot him through the buttocks, resulting in four wounds.” 

Can you imagine someone pitching a new cartoon Nazi villain? “I’m going to call him Lord Haw-Haw and give him a prominent scar down the side of his face” - sounds too unrealistic, how do the heroes beat him? - “oh, he accidentally gets shot in the ass”

But the trial was somehow an even bigger shambles. Effectively the prosecutors had no evidence that Joyce had actually been the Nazi broadcaster, apart from ONE person who said they had recognised his voice on ONE broadcast SIX YEARS prior to the trial. That was apparently enough to convict him for a capital offence.

Then the real plot twist: 

He wasn’t even British

“During the processing of the charges Joyce's American nationality came to light, and it seemed that he would have to be acquitted, based upon a lack of jurisdiction; he could not be convicted of betraying a country that was not his own.”

It turned out he wasn’t British after all, but had been born in New York to an Irish-American family and then raised and educated in Ireland (who were neutral in the war). Apparently nobody had thought to check this prior to charging him with treason. He was immediately acquitted on two of the three charges.

But the prosecutor argued that because Joyce had a British passport (even though he wasn’t British and had lied about his nationality to get it) he had the benefit of British diplomatic protection from it and therefore owed allegiance to the king, and should be sentenced to death for treason for working for the Germans.

Which is nonsense because a) he only went to Germany when they were at war with Britain, in which case having a British passport hardly protected him, b) if anything he was only safe in Germany because he wasn’t loyal to Britain, c) he was then brought back to Britain and now sentenced to death because he had a British passport, so it hardly brought him diplomatic protection, and d) it is entirely consistent for a non-British person working against Britain to lie to the British authorities to get a passport, so where exactly is the treason?

The article drops this incredible quote from historian AJP Taylor to sum it up: "Technically, Joyce was hanged for making a false statement when applying for a passport, the usual penalty for which is a small fine."

Finally, the article leaves us with the disgusting fact that “the scar on Joyce's face split wide open because of the pressure applied to his head upon his drop from the gallows.” Just in case anyone was wondering.

Thank you, wikipedia.

[typewriterwitch]

When the Forced Marriage Trope is Given Depth

The forced marriage plot is a venerated tradition in romance novels. So much so that today’s romance writers are twisting plots around like pretzels to try to make this trope plausible—and palatable—for the modern age. Usually, this involves business arrangments and marriages of convenience. The old school romance novels of my adolescence were more about king’s edicts and unbreakable betrothals to the last man on earth the heroine ever wants to marry—but with a sly wink toward lust to undercut her early hate.

The appeal of the forced marriage plot is the belligerent sexual tension for a start. Then it’s the softening. The something there that wasn’t there before. The hero becomes less of an ass. The heroine admits her initial impression was harsh. It’s classic Pride & Prejudiceor Beauty & the Beast. Gold standard stuff. From a practical point of the view, the forced marriage plot is a way for historical romance writers to have their Pride & Prejudice or Beauty & the Beast plot, give a nod toward social norms, and still include sex scenes.

But the forced marriage trope has a crucial difference—in both Pride & Prejudice and Beauty & the Beast examples, the narrative question is, “Will the heroine consent to marry the hero?” Her choice is centered. Elizabeth throwing Darcy’s proposal back in his face is one of the best examples of agency in all of romance (my personal favorite comes from North & South). We want to see the heroine stand up for herself because then it’s crystal clear that, by the end, she’s marrying for love. In the case of the forced marriage trope, the choice has been made for her, so her agency is compromised.

What does that do to the appeal of the trope? It messes it right up, that’s what it does.

For fans of messy romance—romance with stakes and grit and depth—this is can be a very interesting thing. If the author treads carefully. Treading carefully means hitting a few major beats:

Acknowledging the messed up nature of the situation. The hero especially needs to understand how getting a wife against her will is, you know, bad. Even if he starts out conceited or oblivious, it’s crucial that he learns to value consent above all else.

Giving the heroine a free and clear means of escape. Readers seem to swoon over the whole, ‘You’re too good for me! But I’m a selfish bastard so I’ll never let you go’ angle. In this trope, the alpha possessiveness vibe is more uncomfortable than usual. Tone it way down. Even Disney gets it right: When the Beast asks Belle if she can be happy with him in the 2017 version, she responds, “Can anyone be happy if they aren’t free?” The only answer is no and the Beast promptly lets her go.

Making the character change crystal clear. The reason the heroine decides to stay with the hero is make-or-break for this trope. Quivering thighs aren’t enough. Genuine, authentic change in the hero’s actions and the heroine’s understanding is a must. This cannot be lip service. It has to feel authentic and earned.

Why are these three beats so crucial? Because the very last thing we need is forced marriage itself romanticized as an institution. Forced marriage is and has been a source of pervasive evil in the lives of women. Google ‘forced marriage’ without the ‘romance’ at the end and you get a lifeline number to stop human trafficking. This trope emerged from a dark and dangerous place, as a lot of storytelling tropes do. No number of happy fictional endings will change that.

Most premises for this trope I’ve seen skirt the trope’s heart of darkness, ignoring the uncomfortable implications in favor of a few thrills. Which begs the question—does the popularity of the trope mean its readers are regressing or resisting progress? Are readers thinking that choice is too hard and wouldn’t it be nicer if someone chose a husband for them and it all worked out in the happily-ever-after? Maybe. Romance is escapism, after all. This trope and the soulmates trope are like the benevolent dictator theories of romance novels. Easy and unrealistic are what some readers are looking for when they pick up a romance novel.

As a champion for romance with stakes and grit and depth, that’s so not me. I want a happy ending, I do. But I also what to use the forced marriage trope to, like, explore my anxieties about the long line of forced marriages from which I’m likely descended. That’s why I need the heroine to continuously stand up for herself and the hero to completely understand her situation by the end. Those three beats I laid out above allow that arc to happen. They’re a formula for catharsis and that’s damn good drama. But the right to choose one’s life partner is a cornerstone of feminism for a damn good reason. For me, the story isn’t satisfying unless it actively tackles that issue.

One of the best examples of the forced marriage trope given depth comes from a movie almost no one saw called Child 44. Tom Hardy and Noomi Rapace star as Leo and Raisa Demidov a married couple in 1950s Russia. Leo is a WWII hero turned Captain in the Ministry of State Security. The plot focuses on Leo searching for a serial killer who targets young boys. His investigation is complicated because he’s going against the will of the government. Leo’s colleagues actively want to silence any evidence that their society—a paradise—could produce a murderer. But, as the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes will tell you, the thriller aspect is a bit of a letdown. The real meaty storyline is the evolving relationship between Leo and Raisa.

The first scene to introduce Leo and Raisa as a couple is a phenomenal piece of character work. Leo is telling the story of how he fell in love and married Raisa at a dinner party. The story is a common one: love at first sight. Leo saw Raisa, waxed poetic, and asked for her name. When he tracks her down again, she admits that she gave him a false one. The two tell the story in tandem, but the audience is clued into the fact that Raisa is telling her parts dutifully. It’s Leo who finds this story romantic as he confesses his devotion to his wife. The women of the group are touched. Raisa is cool and contained. She remains cool and contained when the couple has sex in their apartment. It’s a classic framing of marital discord. Leo is kissing her neck, clearly overcome by passion. And Raisa is turned away from him, frowning into middle-distance. In a few short scenes, the audience comes to understand that Raisa does not share her husband’s blind obedience to the Soviet Union. We wonder if she might be a spy or a traitor in some way. When Leo comes home after a hard day where a subordinate murdered a mother and father in front of their two young children, he seeks comfort from Raisa. She accepts that she should do this for him, but she does not actively comfort him.

The turn comes when Leo is handed a folder and told to investigate his own wife for treason. He knows that no matter what he finds over the course of his investigation there will be no mercy. The implication alone is damning. Leo follows Raisa, seeing her lose a fellow school teacher to soldiers. She seems too close to her principal, but nothing implicates her except that he loses her in the crowd. Leo talks to his adopted father, who cautions him that it’s better to give up his wife than to go down with her. Raisa shows up for dinner then and announces where she’d gone—to the doctor. She’s pregnant. Leo tears apart their apartment but finds nothing damning. Neither do his colleagues. The scene where Leo confronts Raisa about the investigation is heartbreaking. You can see on her face that she expects to be given up. You can see on his face how much this is tearing him up inside. In the end, he submits her innocence knowing that he is dooming them both. Sure enough, they are dragged from their beds. The character work here is that Raisa lets her husband hold her, she screams for him in terror. She clings to him when she thinks they will be killed.

But they are spared somewhat. They are able to leave Moscow with their lives and sent to a village in the middle of nowhere. Gone are the luxuries that her husband’s career afforded them. In exchange for her life, he has to give up everything. Raisa is cooler than ever. It’s fascinating. She tells him that it was all a test of loyalty—he should have denounced because “that’s what wives are for.” His show of love hardens rather than softens her toward him. But she does not betray him, even when his most evil coworker offers for her to return to Moscow as his mistress. She tries to leave him, but Leo stops her and brings her back home. He forbids her from leaving again.

It’s then that we learn that Raisa resents him for how much he loves her because, as we find out, she never had a say in it. That charming story he likes to tell? She remembers it very differently. She “cried for one week” when he proposed and then accepted out fear for what would happen to her if she declined a man of his stature. She was forced into this marriage, and now she’s bound to him even tighter because of his sacrifice. Hearing this breaks Leo’s heart into a million pieces. Honestly, the angst of this scene is everything I want in this trope. Her confession rocks Leo’s world. He has tears in his eyes because he’s realizing how much of a monster he has been in the eyes of the woman he loves but has never known. We also find out that Raisa lied about being pregnant to save her own life. She’s a survivor. She’s a complex thinker and feeler. It’s heartwrenching, deep stuff, people. Sign me the fuck up twice.

That’s the first of the major beats. Acknowledging the messed up nature of the situation.

Then the murder investigation starts in earnest. Leo has to go to Moscow and he’s afraid if he leaves Raisa he won’t be able to protect her. She doesn’t want to go anywhere with him. He tells her that if she comes to Moscow with him, she can stay there. He won’t make her return, and she never has to see him again.

There’s beat number two. Giving the heroine a free and clear means of escape.

But in Moscow, things change for Raisa. She is drawn into the investigation and sees how honorable it is. She comes to realize that the man she assumed to be the honest Russian sticking up for his countrywomen against the brutal government was an ideologue all along. The monsters of her world are becoming much less black and white. By the time we get to the moment when Raisa chooses to come back with Leo, we understand why she’s making that choice.

And then boy are we ever rewarded. We get to see Raisa stand up for her husband, soothe and comfort him. We see her protect him from would-be murdererstwice and Leo turn around and do the same thing for her. She is an equal partner in his investigation and his life. The events of the movie bring them together in a way that their sham marriage never could—and it’s a messy, complicated, harrowing thing to watch. In the end, this is a true romance because the couple gets a happy ending. So happy. I won’t spoil the last bit, but there is definitely a romance novel-worthy moment when Leo turns those puppy dog eyes on Raisa to ask her if she thinks he is a monster. And of course she no longer thinks that. Her understanding of him has changed. And his actions have changed—no longer does he presume her love and ignore her true feelings. No longer does he go along with the state mindlessly and play up the war hero bit. He’s a better man and she loves him for it. That’s a transformational love story.

Final beat nailed. Making the character change crystal clear.

Again, not going to say Child 44 is a perfect movie. But the love story? Is a perfect example of a thoughtful use of the forced marriage trope. More romance novels could stand to use it as a template.

[thosewhoruleegypt]

What Followed the High Priest Home (Chapter 2)

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh!   Characters/Ships: Puzzleshipping/Blindshipping (Atem/Yugi); Gemshipping (Thief King Bakura/Ryou Bakura); Puppyshipping/Revertshipping (Priest Seto Kaiba/Jounochi); Atem, Yugi, Thief King Bakura, Ryou Bakura, Priest Seto Kaiba, Jounochi Katsuya Rating: M (WARNINGS for steamy fade-to-black moments, banter of a sexual nature, and some abuse of lotus wine) Length: Chapter 2 / 7; 3300 words

Summary:

Upon his homecoming, Priest Seto Kaiba certainly didn’t expect to find a statue of the Thief King in the middle of the palace courtyard, right where the Pharaoh’s statue ought to be. He also didn’t expect the stray puppy he picked up on his travels to follow him all the way home.

In the meantime, the Great Royal Husband, Yugi Mutou, makes a new friend, one Jounochi Katsuya, and Pharaoh Atem wonders when the power dynamics around his palace got so difficult to navigate.

Sequel to “For Love of Pharaoh and King;” “The Pharaoh’s Lotus Garden—Part I” accounts for the time between the two works. Can be read separately, but will make more sense with context.

Full Story Begins Here! Read on AO3 Previous Chapter – Next Chapter 

Chapter Two: Priest vs King 

Jounochi ate, noisily and enthusiastically, the food that Yugi had ordered brought up to the room. Yugi rustled around in his wardrobe for something suitably inconspicuous for the newcomer to borrow. 

"If that bastard eats like this every day, no wonder he's such a spoiled jerk!" Jounochi exclaimed, leaning back once he'd cleaned the plates. Yugi held out some fresh white linens, and Jounochi changed obediently into them. 

"I think Priest Seto was meeting with the Pharaoh, earlier. I can ask Pharaoh to set up a meeting for you, if you'd like. Or we can work out something a little more discrete, if you'd prefer." 

"Oh man, I can't wait to see the look on that jerk's face!" Jounochi said, snickering. "This is gonna be great!" 

"So you... and Priest Seto are...?" Yugi prompted gently, sitting down across from the visitor. Jounochi shook his head. 

"Not quite sure, y'know? I mean, I'm the one who does the chasing, I guess, obviously, but it's not like he's ever kicked me out of his bed. Well, not at night, anyhow. In the morning he's always back to being a stuck-up jerk." 

Jounochi had gone about his work as usual and, as the morning wore on, he tried to convince himself that the stranger from the night before wasn't worth his effort. He tried to convince himself that the pledge he'd made—that the stranger hadn't seen the last of him—was both unrealistic and pointless. It wasn't in his nature to give up, but he also couldn't afford to disrupt his family's peaceful life. A sudden flurry of activity at the temple's entrance made Jounochi look up from his cleaning, though, and he was surprised to see a series of white-clad royal priests file in. 

"They're back!" one of the local priests gasped. 

Jounochi glanced over. "Back? Who are they?" 

"They were here yesterday—the Pharaoh's priests," the man said, and Jounochi remembered the unusual business of the day before. 

Jounochi leaned up, peering toward the activity. He was hoping for some distraction from his thoughts about the night before, but what he saw was a very familiar form near the center of the crowd, standing with head bent and hands jammed into the pockets of his expensive blue and golden clothes. Jounochi pushed forward, startling several of the lesser priests as he more or less changed into their cluster. 

"Great Set! It's you!" 

The man glanced up; looked away, pointedly. "Me? I don't know you. Guards?" 

"Hey!" Jounochi shouted, even as several guards appeared on either side of him. He kicked out as he was picked up; struggled against them, as they began to haul him backwards. "Hey! Jerk! Deal with me yourself, you stupid, high-class bastard! Don't think you can just tell your goons to make me disappear!" 

"Get him out of my sight!" the Royal High Priest spat, and the guards obeyed. Though Jounochi fought for all he was worth, even managing to struggle free and strike back several times, numbers overwhelmed him. 

"Not only did he kick me out of my own damn temple," Jounochi told Yugi, hand forming a fist on the table, "but I lost my job. I found out from one of the local priests that Seto wasn’t supposed to come back, that second day. When he told me he was leaving town, he really thought he was. But something about his mission for the Pharaoh took him back to my temple, so..." 

"You lost your job?" Yugi asked softly. "What about your family?" 

"That's just the thing," Jounochi said, shaking his head. "When I went home, Mom told me that some priest had come by and given her a whole bunch of gold. They said it was because of a favor I'd done for their High Priest." 

Yugi thought for a moment, then said, "Were you insulted, by that?" 

"Of course!" Jounochi snapped. "I'm not some cheap whore! ...Or an expensive whore, I guess, because it was one hell of a lot of gold." He cleared his throat. "But anyway, it gave me the freedom to follow him. To leave Mom and my sister, because they were gonna be fine, with all that gold. So I followed him—High Priest Seto." 

"You followed him?" 

Jounochi nodded. "He was visiting all these different temples, for some reason. And I followed him. I even caught up with him that same night." 

"You..." 

Jounochi nodded—out of breath, dusty from travel, and triumphant. "I told you you hadn't seen the last of Jounochi Katsuya." 

The High Priest was sitting outside a temple in the next city over, sipping wine. Jounochi leaned in; relieved him of the glass, and took a long drink. 

"How in Set did you find me?" 

"I followed you," Jounochi said, wiping his mouth. "I needed to tell you to your face that I wasn't a damn whore. So I appreciate the gold, for my mom and my sister, but make sure you don't think I'm some whore that you can just pay and be done with." 

"I didn't think that..." the High Priest murmured, then stood. Jounochi took an uncertain step backwards, when the man caught his wrist. "I don't pay whores so generously, fool. And I did lose you your job, at the temple." 

"Yeah, that was sorta your fault." 

Then the High Priest leaned in; kissed Jounochi, as passionately as he had the night previous. Jounochi let the wineglass fall, wrapping his arms around the other's broad shoulders. 

"What is it about you, pup...?" the priest breathed, and Jounochi bit the other's lip lightly. 

"At least call me by name, you jerk..." 

"Very well. Then you will call me Seto. Seto Kaiba." 

"I'll call you 'jerk' if you're being a damn jerk, Seto." 

The High Priest laughed softly. "This is the last time, pup... Joey..." 

"Yeah, whatever. You can say that all you want. Won't make it true." 

"So I followed him," Jounochi told Yugi, once again. "All over Egypt, for almost a year. Every morning he'd leave, and every night I'd find him. And now his mission is finally over, so I followed him all the way back to the palace. I know it's the end this time, really, but he owes me one more night, for all the trouble—one last kiss, and a proper goodbye, you know?"

"Why are you so determined, to follow him?" Yugi asked gently.

Jounochi gave that considerable thought; scratched the back of his head. "Because the sex is great?" he asked, with a chuckle. Then he sobered; said, "Because being with him is way more exciting than the day-to-day back at the temple. And it's more meaningful, too. I think... I mean, it's meaningful for me, but I think Seto, too..." He trailed off; smiled tenderly.

Yugi nodded. "I see." He was preparing to say more when a tremendous explosion rocked the palace. Yugi stood; Jounochi bounded to his feet. Moments later, the door flew open.

"Lord Yugi!" Ryou's face was flushed and his hair disheveled. He spared the stranger a glance—Jounochi waved slightly, in response—but then turned back to Yugi. "There's a duel—you need to come see this!"

"A duel? What's happening?" Yugi asked, trotting to meet his friend.

"It's Obelisk, isn't it?" Jounochi asked. Ryou looked up sharply. "Obelisk the Tormentor?"

Ryou nodded, then turned back to Yugi. "I don't know what got it started, but Pharaoh is supposed to duel the winner!"

"The Pharaoh will duel the winner?!" Jounochi demanded, grabbing Ryou's arm. Ryou flinched, and Yugi got gently between the two of them.

"Come on. Let's go down to the duel ring. All three of us."

... ... ...

Thief King Bakura hit the ground hard, blown backwards by the force of the summon. The walls of the castle shook, and even Atem brought his arms up to shield his face.

"So you see your folly now, thief?!" Priest Seto called. "You cannot stand before the force of a god!"

Bakura laughed; grunted in pain, struggling to see the massive monster through the cloud of dust. A crack burst across the ceiling as Obelisk the Tormentor came to raging life on the duel field.

"The power of gods, ay?" the Thief King called out, shielding his eyes with one forearm as a stinging wave of sand buffeted him.

"Seto, you... succeeded..." Atem breathed, and his High Priest grinned over at him.

"You see, Pharaoh?" Seto called. "I've done it! And when we duel, after I finish this vermin, you too will bow before the power of the gods! I will reclaim my pride!"

"Don't think you've won yet!" Bakura called, struggling back to his feet. "You have to beat me to face the Pharaoh, don't forget!"

"It's over, cur!" Seto shouted. "Obelisk! Destroy his Diabound!" 

"I activate my set cards, Spirit Shield and Soul Absorption!" Bakura yelled, struggling to make himself heard over the roar of the god Obelisk. "I banish Souls of the Forgotten to activate Spirit Shield—your battle phase ends, and I gain 500 Life thanks to Soul Absorption!" 

Obelisk's roar petered out to a low rumble, and Seto folded his arms. "Tch. All you've done is buy yourself a turn or two, cur. As soon as you're out of fiend monsters to banish, Spirit Shield will vanish." 

"Oh, and I suppose you've kept count of how many fiend-types are in my graveyard, hmm?" Bakura sneered. "They'll hold your god at bay long enough for me to figure out a way to defeat it properly, and in the meantime I'll just keep gaining life points." 

"It's only a matter of time, thief," the High Priest said again, with a self-assured smirk. 

Bakura drew a card—not the card he wanted. "I end my turn," he said, and glanced briefly at Atem. The Pharaoh was watching the whole affair with keen eyes. 

Footsteps on the stairs made all three men look up; Yugi appeared first, then Ryou, and finally a strange young man with blonde hair. Priest Seto nearly dropped his hand, and Bakura began to laugh. 

"Now that my Ryou is here, watching, I won't lose!" the Thief King declared, as the three newcomers halted beside the duel field. "Gods have never frightened me—I've beaten my share of them, over the years, and I'll do it again now!"

Seto grit his teeth, unused to people responding to Obelisk in such a way. Then another voice sounded, and he looked up sharply.

"You can do it, Kaiba! Obelisk's on the field! You've got 'im runnin' scared! And then you'll get to fight the Pharaoh! Then you'll get your revenge, for sure!"

Seto's eyes flashed over to the young man who'd spoken, and he straightened his shoulders. "Prepare yourself, filthy cur!" he called to Bakura, and drew a card; grimaced slightly.

"Nothing that'll stop my Spirit Shield?" Bakura purred. "Pity."

"You're only delaying your fate!" Seto shouted. "Obelisk! Attack!"

"I banish Abaki, from my graveyard! Spirit Shield, activate!"

"Pharaoh, what's happening?" Yugi asked silently, his mind pressing close to Atem's. Atem shuddered with the touch.

"I can't believe I'm rooting for the thief..."

"?"

"If Bakura wins this, I swear to Ra, I'll throw him a feast so splendid that his greedy head will spin."

"You don't want to fight Priest Seto?"

"I've been denying Priest Seto a rematch for years," Atem admitted, reluctantly. "A Pharaoh and his High Priest shouldn't fight. He's an ambitious and ruthless man, too, which makes matters worse. But he's only grown stronger, and now he has at least one of the god cards in his deck... I fear what should happen, if he's able to best me."

Bakura drew a card; smiled. "Sorry, Necrofear..." he breathed, to the monster in his hand. "Gotta bet on Diabound, this time." He held up the card he'd drawn. "My card is the spell Card Destruction!"

"Fine by me," Seto muttered, discarding his hand. He drew three new cards, his face impassive.

Bakura, too, discarded his hand, Dark Necrofear included, and drew five cards. He examined them, searching for a strategy: Portrait's Secret, Souls of the Forgotten, Snake of White Shadow, Dark Artist, and Dark Necklace. Plus my face-down on the field... and Diabound, Spirit Shield, and Soul Absorption face-up... Thoth must be smiling on me, today...

"First, I activate the magic card Dark Necklace and equip it to Diabound, raising his attack to 2300! Then I summon Snake of White Shadow, to attack!" Bakura grinned, pointing. "When Diabound is on the field, it can attack your Life directly! Prepare yourself! Snake of White Shadow, attack the priest!"

Seto cringed as the pale little serpent struck out at him; cursed under his breath. The 500 point injury knocked his life points down to 2900. With his banishment of Abaki, Bakura's Life had risen to 2200. Jounochi, beside Yugi, shouted encouragement.

"Fight and flail as much as you want, thief!" the High Priest spat. "As long as you can't get Obelisk off the field, it's only a matter of time!"

"You keep saying that," Bakura said, crossing his arms. "So finish me, already, if you can!"

"I've never seen someone stand up to Obelisk like this..." Jounochi breathed, and Yugi glanced up. "Usually, they just..."

"The Thief King isn't afraid of some bulky, clumsy god!" Ryou snapped, startling Jounochi. 

Yugi glanced up at Atem; saw the Pharaoh's teeth worrying lightly at his bottom lip. "Pharaoh? Do you not think that Bakura can win...?"

"If anyone has a chance, it's him," was Atem's evasive reply. "But even now, he's managed to hold off Seto's seemingly unstoppable offense. That's something—and it proves that it can be done, at the very least."

Despite Atem's apparent anxiety, Yugi could feel the vibrations of excitement thrumming through him. Pharaoh... it's been a long time since we've faced a worthy opponent, hasn't it...? Despite what you say, I can tell... you want to fight High Priest Seto.

Priest Seto drew a card; declared, "I end my turn!"

"He's not letting Bakura banish to activate Spirit Shield..." Yugi murmured, for Atem only to hear. "He can't regain any more life points, then...!"

"It's a true standoff..." Atem agreed. "Soul Absorption makes things unpleasant for Seto, certainly... but if he doesn't burn through the fiends in Bakura's graveyard, it'll stretch on forever... or at least until one of them draws a card that can change things..."

"I'll just take mine, then," Bakura said, drawing a card and revealing it a beat later. "The Moon is smiling on me today, priest! My card is The Cheerful Coffin, and with it I send the three fiends in my hand to the graveyard!"

Seto's irritation permitted the air like a heavy, cloying incense. Atem had to hide a snigger behind his hand as Bakura dropped the cards with a dramatic flutter; they dissolved, vanishing into his graveyard.

"You're very unpleasant," Seto stated, and Bakura grinned wickedly.

"My specialty, honorable priest, is being unpleasant. Snake of White Shadow attacks, and then I end my turn." Bakura's Life Points remained at 2200; Seto's, as the little snake withdrew, dropped to 2400.

"Bakura's safe for at least four more turns, unless Seto can get rid of Spirit Shield..." Yugi said, amazed. "And with Snake of White Shadow, he can knock 2000 points off Seto's Life, in four turns. In five turns, he'll actually win!"

"He also has no cards in his hand," Atem pointed out, unsettled. "Five turns is a long time. He has no strategy right now, beyond surviving."

"I'm not so sure..." Yugi gave a mental nod toward the set card behind Diabound. "I think he's got something planned."

Bakura sneered. "Make your next move, priesty."

Seto didn't respond, drawing a card. From his expression, it clearly wasn't the card he was looking for.

"Pity!" Bakura called over, and Seto glared at him. The Thief King stuck his tongue out.

"Obelisk! Attack!" Priest Seto snapped, and Bakura waved one hand.

"I banish Dark Necrofear! Spirit Shield activates, and your battle phase is over!"

Seto folded his arms; inclined his head. "Your turn, thief."

Bakura drew a card; held it, and shouted, "Go, White Snake of Shadow! Attack him directly!"

Seto yelped as the snake sunk it's fangs into his ankle; cursed as shook it off, his Life Points dropping to 1900. Bakura's stood at 2700, after the banishment of Dark Necrofear.

"If your pretty little god can't attack before I chip your Life down to zero, I don't even need to fight it," Bakura jeered.

"That's the most ludicrous strategy I've ever heard!" Priest Seto snapped back.

“I end my turn," Bakura purred, folding his arms. "Go on—let me banish another monster. Just try to attack me and my Diabound."

The huge white serpent shrieked to echo him; the smaller Snake of White Shadow added it's own hiss to the taunting.

Priest Seto scowled; drew a card. His expression eased, then split into a manic grin.

"It's over, Thief King!" he yelled, raising the card high. "You've mocked me one turn too many—my card is Cosmic Cyclone! I pay 1000 Life Points to banish your Spirit Shield!"

"Pharaoh!" Yugi exclaimed, and felt Atem flinch as Spirit Shield was shattered amidst Cosmic Cyclone's whirlwind. Bakura threw up his arms to protect himself from the gust, and Ryou cried out in alarm.

"Yeah, Kaiba!" Jounochi cheered. "'Bout time!"

"Are you ready, Thief King?" Seto demanded. "Prepare to taste true defeat! First, I summon Luster Dragon, to attack! It destroys your Snake of White Shadow!"

The draconian monster surged forward; slashed through the little snake effortlessly. Bakura muttered a coarse apology to his monster as 1400 points of battle damage buffeted him.

"And now, face the wrath of the god you dared to mock!" Priest Seto called. "On your knees, Thief King! Bow, as Obelisk the Tormentor obliterates your Diabound and your pride! Obelisk, attack!"

The god-monster gave an earth-shaking roar that made the palace, above the duel field, groan traitorously. There was a tremendous explosion as Diabound and Obelisk clashed, and Bakura was completely obscured in the resulting cloud of sand and debris. Ryou cried out in alarm, and Priest Seto's laughter rose above the sounds of the battle.

The dust began to settle, though, and Bakura still stood on his feet. Ryou gave a relieved exclamation.

Priest Seto's eyes narrowed sharply. "What in Set...?!"

"Partner...!" Atem exclaimed.

Yugi, almost simultaneously, gasped, "Pharaoh, Bakura's set card...!"

"My set card is Prideful Roar!" the Thief King declared, extending one hand. "I pay the difference in our monsters' attacks points out of my Life, and Diabound gains the balance plus 300 attack! I gained 500 Life when you banished my Spirit Shield, thanks to Soul Absorption, then lost 1400 when Snake of White Shadow was destroyed—Diabound's attack, plus what he gains from Dark Pendant, is 2300—1700 less than Obelisk, so I now pay 1700 of my own Life so that he can stand against your god! Go, Diabound! Counterattack!"

The snake gave a fearsome hiss; charged Obelisk, and tore through the great god-monster. Seto's jaws stretched wide in a soundless scream, and Bakura staggered as his own Life was all but drained. Priest Seto could only stare as the mighty Obelisk the Tormentor dissolved, then vanished entirely.

"That makes 300 battle damage for you..." Bakura breathed, with a faint chuckle, and pointed at Seto. "600 Life left for you, High Priest. Think you can take away my mere hundred before I finish you off?"

"Bakura!" Ryou cheered, and the Pharaoh gave an approving nod; Yugi felt the relief and pride that Atem would never admit to, and shared it. Priest Seto, mouth agape, stood speechless.

"Well, I'm not going to let you," the Thief King continued, and then sat down heavily on the ground. "I've defeated your god, Priest Seto—I've won my pride, and wounded yours. So I won't play spoiler to your duel with Horus any longer. I forfeit."

[queensofrap]

Wonder Woman: How Remy Ma Changed The Game For Female Rappers in 2017

"Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a bully. I actually bully the bullies"

Remy Ma strolls into MASS APPEAL HQ with a relatively small entourage for a multiplatinum artist who just inked a multimillion-dollar recording contract with Columbia Records. After conferring with her team, she agrees to bless us with a preview of tracks from her forthcoming album, Seven Winters, Six Summers. The album’s title refers to the amount time she spent at the Bedford Hills Correctional Facility for Women following a well-publicized shooting incident that interrupted one of the most promising come-ups in hip hop.

The Bronx native—born Reminisce Smith and raised in the Castle Hill projects of the BX before being discovered by the late Big Pun—picked up right where she left off, recording a track with DJ Khaled on her first day home. This past February she dropped Plato o Plomo with her Terror Squad comrade Fat Joe, which included the double-platinum single, “All The Way Up.” But her most talked-about release of the year was “SHEther”.  That song and its aftermath would alter the course of both artists’ careers, proving that Minaj was not untouchable, winning Remy a BET Award for Best Female Rapper, and helping to clear a space in modern hip hop for women like Remy, Cardi B, and many others to shine.

 I remind Remy that I haven’t seen her since September 2014, when she and her husband Papoose invited a small group of family, friends and select media to dine on sirloin and shrimp at Don Pancho’s steakhouse in the Bronx. Remy had just come home from her incarceration and had to skip dessert that night so she could check in with her P.O. She still has a curfew today, although the terms of her parole have been somewhat relaxed. Before cueing up the tracks, Remy heads straight toward the Ms. Pac Man machine and proceeds to catch wreck, clearing the first level and earning bonus lives without getting got by a single ghost. Her new manager, Vincent Herbert (who’s worked with the likes of Aaliyah, Lady Gaga, and, as reality show viewers know well, his ex-wife Tamar Braxton) grabs the joystick, and let’s just say doesn’t fare quite as well. Or, as Remy puts it, he’s on “the struggle bus.”

Remy takes the opportunity to play a few tracks, skipping “Wake Me Up” the first single from the project featuring Lil Kim (She does, however, take a moment to recognize Kim’s tremendous impact on the rap game, and to wonder aloud why, unlike other genres, “in hip hop we throw our legends away.”) Instead, she searches her iPhone and cues up “Melanin (Pretty Brown),” an ode to every shade of skin complexion, featuring an especially gorgeous vocal by Chris Brown. Next up is “Company,” featuring fellow Bronx bomber A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie. There’s time for one more track, this one featuring French Montana, before we make our way into the video studio for a wide-ranging interview. Remy spoke about how she’s never backed down from a fight in her life (this weekend’s brief dustup with Azealia Banks went down after our talk), how she got through those seven winters, and why she decided to spend her time on the Summer Jam stage promoting unity among female rappers—with one notable exclusion, of course. Today MASS APPEAL kicks off our year-end coverage with Big Year, Big Talk, a salute to the people who shifted the culture this year.

___

Welcome, Remy. And thanks for bringing the boots!

Thank you for addressing my boots. They’re kinda cute.

Who made those?

Off-White makes these. I like their brand. I’m kinda like a tomboy at heart, so any chance I get to get any type of tomboy swag going on, I’m definitely down for it.

That’s a surprise because my first Remy Ma memory was at the Mix Show Power Summit in the Bahamas. You were performing “I’m Conceited” on stage and you were not giving tomboy at all.

[Laughs] Really?

No, you were definitely giving femme fatale.

“Conceited” was definitely one of my more fun records that I got to be super girly on. That is definitely one of those records that was inspired by certain things that happened to me, certain things that I see, or certain things that people say to me. Ya know, around the time when I made “Conceited,” it was just so much going on in the industry as far as women were concerned and everyone felt like you had to be sexy and ‘you gotta wear your hair like this’ and ‘you have to talk like that’ and you have to walk like…. And I’m like, “First of all, do y’all hear how deep my voice is?” It’s just a lot. I gotta go through a lot. Ya know? It’s a lot going on here!

This is when labels still had artist development and they told you how to answer questions and what to say and what not to say. And I was just like, ‘This is fucking stupid. Why can’t I just be me? Like, I don’t always wanna have on makeup.” I literally did my own makeup today.

Facts.

I would take off my glasses and show y’all my work, but I’m not really sure how it looks in these type of lights, so I’ll wait. But, I don’t wanna ever have to be that girl that I have to turn into Remy Ma. Like, “Oh I gotta go sit with MASS APPEAL. Let me put on my Remy Ma outfit and turn into Remy Ma.” Like [switching to, shall we call it, a “Valley Girl” voice?] “Oh my God! I’m so glad to be here guys! Thank you so much for having me. Yes, I’m so excited.” I don’t ever wanna have to do that shit. Like, that shit wack to me.

Anybody who knows me, they be like, “Rem, you don’t do fake well.” This guy, he works on my team and he says to me, “Rem, your fake is fucking horrible.” And it’s because,I just can’t. Anybody who’s ever seen me or ever met me, whether it was at an interview, at a concert, in a studio, in the fucking supermarket, in the parking lot, they’re always gonna get the same Rem. And you know, back then when they had this artist development, they wanted you to be a certain way, and I’m just like, “Everybody is different!” Everybody has their own thing that’s cool about them. That’s how God made us. You may not be the prettiest person in the world, but maybe you have a nice voice or maybe you have nice handwriting, or maybe you have cute toes or—I don’t know! Everybody has something about them that would be considered desirable to someone else, and I just wished and I wanted people to see that. To realize, “Look, don’t nobody want the same everything all the time.”

I like certain things for certain reasons. I don’t want to see you recreate that. I want it from over there. And that was the inspiration behind “Conceited.” So that was like, “OK, y’all want me to be sexy? I’ma be sexy in my own way.” Like, I don’t give a fuck about anything. “I look too good for this. I look too good for that.” I look at myself like this and I feel like that’s OK. I got a little fat, but OK, my man likes it. I feel like even more so now—shit, we need a record like that now because with this social media thing, it has people trying to live up to the most unreasonable, unrealistic expectations. Especially with women! They’re competing. They’ll see a photo and you’re competing with somebody who literally is doctored. Like they went, sat on a table, got whatever done and then they took a picture, and then they doctored the picture, so it’s double doctored! And you’re in your house, starving yourself—you know, waist training, running a mile a day—and you’re trying to understand why you’re not getting these results and you’re beating yourself up. It’s just unreal.

Like I said, that was the wave I was on there. I don’t really remember what I had on at that summit that you saw me at. I know it was the Bahamas because I remember around that time, that was the Mix Show Power Summit. I remember that time period for a lot of psycho reasons. I was a very different Remy Ma back then. but… That was the coolest shit ever. Do they still have those things?

I don’t think so, but that was just a memory sparked by your boots. I was planning to start the interview a whole different way. I was actually gonna start in the Bronx. What does it mean to you as an artist to represent the Bronx?

The Bronx, to me it’s just pretty much where I grew up. What’s crazy, before I went to prison, it was cool to have a gazillion AKAs. It was like Remy Ma, the BX Savior, the Queen of NY, Shezus Christ. I had all these different names and The Queen of NY thing, it came… People say like I have the strongest New York accent ever. I never really realized that until—still never. But people just tell me, so I guess it’s true to some extent. Too many people say it. But also I literally have lived in every single borough. I was born and raised in the Bronx, but I went to high school and some of junior high school in Queens. I went to elementary school in Harlem. I even lived in, believe it or not, Staten Island. I lived on Governor’s Island when I stayed with my aunt. Her and my uncle were in the Coast Guard, so at the time the station was Governor’s Island.

I literally could go to any borough and find cool places to eat or little things that you really wouldn’t know unless you lived there. And people are like, ‘How do you know about this?’ I’m like, “Oh, I used to live here.” My mom was like a black gypsy, shelter-hopping, so I ended up living in a lot of different places in New York. But the Bronx was always my home base. Because that’s where I was born. Most of my friends growing up were from the Bronx. My grandmother always lived in the Bronx and that was the one person that never moved, so it was like we’d live over here, but then I’d go visit my grandmother in the Bronx. Then we’d move here, and I’d go visit my grandmother in the Bronx.

Even now, when I came home, I moved to the Bronx because of my parole stipulations. If I lived in Jersey, I would literally need permission to come into New York every time I came to New York. So I was like, “Alright, I have to find one of the boroughs.” And it just made sense for me to live in the Bronx. Of course, much to the chagrin of my husband, who’s from Brooklyn, moving to the Bronx from Brooklyn is like light years away. He’s like, “This is crazy! I’d rather live in Manhattan.” I’m like, “Nah, I just don’t feel safe there. It’s a bit crazy there.” But the Bronx, that’s just home to me. It’s always gonna be home, no matter where I move, no matter where I go.

Like I said, I lived in all these other places, especially in Queens where I grew up and went to school. They were like, ‘She saying she’s from the Bronx, but she’s really from Queens!’ I’m like, “So, we’re gonna act like y’all didn’t call me The Bitch from the Bronx when I lived out here? Fine. Cool. We’ll act like that never happened. We’ll act like y’all knew me my whole life. Y’all act like I wasn’t a whole teenager when y’all first met me.”

But a lot of my friends are from Queens. My first high school that I went to, before I started getting kicked out and high school hopping, was in Queens. I pretty much go out there a lot. My in-laws live in Queens, so I literally am a native of every borough in some shape, form or fashion.

Why’d you get kicked out of high school?

I didn’t get kicked out of high school. I got kicked out of high schools, with an “s.” I literally went to like seven, eight high schools. I started out at MLK in Manhattan. That was the school that I got accepted to. Then I switched my school to Bryant High School in Queens, because this guy that I liked went to the school and then I got into the school and I realized he wasn’t even the cutest guy in the school, and I started liking some other guy. I was like, “I might as well switch back to the school that I was in.” But then I couldn’t switch back to there because I had already got into like a gazillion fights and my record. I stayed in fights in high school, so then I went to the Bronx. And I went to the Roosevelts and Stevenson and Lehman. I literally almost went to every high school in the Bronx because I would get into fights and get kicked out of school—like literally expelled. The years that I was in high school there was no suspensions. It was like, “No, you got to go, get out of here.”

One time on my first day of school—I swear it was the first day of school—I got jumped on the school bus. My mother would not believe me for shit. I’m like, “I swear to everything I didn’t do anything.” We sat down with the principal. They was like, “You know you probably shouldn’t wear all that jewelry to school.” I was like, “OK, whatever.” And that was the meeting before school. First day of school I go back without my mom and I had a perfect day that day. I’m on the bus and I’m sitting in the back seat of the bus and these rowdy-ass kids on the bus—neighborhood kids! And I just see them violating mad people that’s on the bus and I’m just watching like, ‘Yo, they are crazy. I’m glad nobody saying nothing to me. Let them do what they do. I’m just waiting for my stop.”

I’m watching them just do mad foul shit to people and then the bus takes off from whatever stop we were at. Somebody’s like, ‘Yo somebody hold that door down. Nobody’s getting off the next stop.” I’m like, ‘Wow, they’re stopping people from getting off the bus!” So now I look out the window like, ‘Wait, next stop is my stop!’ So I said, “I’m getting off of this bus! I’m telling you right now!” So they’re like, ‘Who said that? Who said that?’ I’m like, “Me! Next stop is my stop and I’m getting off this bus.”

“Yo! Who Shorty think she is? Let’s get off the bus and fuck her up!” So I’m saying in my head, “Let’s—that’s a contraction for let us—get off the bus and fuck her up.” Oh, so y’all think y’all gonna jump me? Cool.

Bus stops. They all get off the bus. I guess it was raining earlier that day or whatever because, for some reason, I had an umbrella. And I probably ended up getting jumped by more people than was absolutely necessary because I just got off the bus and started cracking anybody in my vicinity with the umbrella. Ended up getting jumped. It was a whole big thing. It kept going. It escalated to when I went back to school and I got kicked out of the school too. But I really had it in my mind that I was going to be good in that school. And then eventually I got kicked out of the school and went to another school, and then I met Pun somewhere in those next couple of weeks or months while I was in school and I was like, “Ha ha fuck school! That’s my best friend right now! Fuck you mean, nigga?’

Hold on, were those guys on the bus who jumped you?

It was guys and girls on the bus. It was just really crazy. And I swear until this day, when I tell my mom she’s just like, “I don’t believe it.” And I’m like, “I’m telling you, I swear! I really didn’t do anything.” So I was just supposed to sit there on the bus and just miss my stop because they said they were not letting anybody off the bus? I mean, looking back now, the new and improved me would’ve just been like, “Yo, let me just walk to the front of the bus and maybe I’ll get off in the front”‘ But what the fuck do you mean nobody’s getting off? Like, who the fuck do you think y’all are?

Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a bully. I actually bully the bullies. Like, I would get in trouble in school and I’ll call my mom and they’ll be like, “You know I understand that was her cousin, so she had to protect her cousin.” My mother would be like, “She doesn’t have any cousins. What are you talking about?” But that was like my lie every time. If I seen somebody doing something to somebody I would be like, “No, that’s my cousin. Like, you’re not doing that to my cousin.” Literally just interject myself and make the person my friend. Like, all my friends were just like random people in school that I met and I seen somebody doing something and in my mind like, “I would never let them do that to me.” I was like the bully to the bullies.

You’re like Wonder Woman!

Not Wonder Woman! [Laugs] I just keep the same energy with everybody! Everybody gets the same treatment with me. Unfortunately, I actually get some slack for it. They’re like, “There’s no gray areas with you.” I’m like, “Yeah, I’m either going to treat everybody nice or I’m going to treat everybody like shit.” There is no in between.

Let’s get to Pun. Did you know that you could rap when you met him? Were you already rapping?

Yes, I knew I could rap when I met Pun. It wasn’t something that I did for a living. Kids today are like, “I’m going to be a rapper and I’m going to get this money” and literally don’t get a whole other job because they plan on being a rapper one day. No, I had a regular job and I just knew I could rap. I used to hang out with all the guys in my neighborhood and they will literally take me on different hood tours to battle rap other guys from other projects and get money. So I knew I could rap.

And you were winning?

I didn’t lose. Nah, I was winning.

Beating guys, and were they in their feelings?

Absolutely. Like, “Oh who wrote that for her?” I didn’t even understand that. I don’t think I ever knew that there was such a thing as a ghostwriter until I met Pun. The actual rap that I first said for Pun is the verse that is on “Ms. Martin” on the Yeeeah Baby album.

When I spit it to him he was like, “Oh that’s dope!” Then he was like, “Let me hear something else because that may be the only hot rhyme you got.” No. I said some other shit. And he was like, “That’s dope! Who be writing for you? Like your brother?” I’m like, “What? What do you mean who’s writing for me? Me!” I was so confused. When I found out that people were actually not writing their own lyrics, I was like, “This is fucking cheating!” Singing is a little bit different, I get it. If a singer doesn’t write their own lyrics they still showcase their talent through their vocal abilities. Like, I could write it all day, but I can’t sing it and make it sound like Whitney Houston would make it sound. But rapping? I was like, “This is super cheating!” Because this is based on your lyrics and what you’re saying, so I was so confused as to why he was asking me who was writing my rhymes. But when he told me he was giving me my own song on his Yeeeah Baby album I was like, “Oh, alright, I know what I want to rap about. Let me hear the beat again.”

He’s like, “Nah, nah, nah, I already know what I want you to say.” I’m like, “Oh, you’re not writing my rhyme!” He’s like, “First of all, if I wrote your rhyme it will be the best rap you’ve ever had in your life. But no, I want you to rap the same rap that you spit for me when I met you. I want people to hear what I heard the first time I heard you.” I’m like, “What? Why?” I was devastated. It was like the end of the world to me. I was still in high school. I had raps for days, like books on top of books and a thousand rhymes stored in my head—stuff that I wanna say. This is the first time everyone’s gonna hear me. I wanna say this, I wanna say that. He was like, “Nope, you’re gonna say the rhyme you said when I first met you!”

What did you say?

[rapping] I inhale the deepest, cock back and bust rhymes at ya speakers/ I’m trouble/ Shoot out the air bubbles in ya sneakers…

Ooooh!

That shit, that flow. I wasn’t mad after the fact, but at the time I wanted to kill him. I was like, “Noooo! Why? I wanna say something else.” We’re not even gonna talk about how Pun literally tried to change my name. One day I came into the studio and he was like, “I was thinking of rap names for you.” And I’m like, “What do you mean rap names?” And he was like, “You know how I’m the Punisher? I’m thinking how you’ll be Punish-HER.” I was actually going to name my first album that. But then I was like, “No. I’m not Punish-HER”‘

He’s like, “Alright, what about Colors?” I’m like, “Why can’t I just be Remy? Everyone has called me Remy my entire life. I don’t understand why I have to have some name that no one has ever called me that you just made up.”

It’s crazy because he did that before to Tony Sunshine. Before Tony Sunshine was Tony Sunshine, he was R&B. We all called him R&B, period. It’s so bad that I even call him Tony Sunshine now. But for the first few months that I met him, everybody would call him R&B. And one day he told me his name was going to be Tony Sunshine. I think Pun waited until he had an interview with a big magazine or something, like, “Yeah, and I have my new artist Remy Martin and Tony Sunshine.” And that was his fucking name and he just stuck with Tony Sunshine. Even though Tony Sunshine now is kind of dope, but it’s like, “How do you just change somebody’s name? What’s wrong with you?” Pun was really crazy.

Pun wrote great raps but horrible rap names!

Nah, he went for like a whole day on that Punish-HER shit! “I’m telling you this shit crazy. I’m the Punisher, Big Pun, and you’re Punish-HER.” I’m like, “No Pun. It’s not gonna work.”

Before Pun, somebody must’ve inspired you to put these rhymes together. Did you have like a rap hero who inspired you to do this?

I’m probably gonna regret this down the line, but I’m gonna say my older brother. Definitely. He was into rap. I was the nerdy kid in school—always in the top class, teacher’s pet. I was the one cleaning the board at the end of the day and collecting the homework. That was me. And I used to do poetry. I entered all the spelling bee contests. I used to be in this thing called a storytelling contest where you have to take a book and literally learn it word for word verbatim and the judges would be sitting there with the book while you’re reading it to them from memory.

I was just like a nerd and I used to write poems and my brother would come in and he’d be rapping “Know the Ledge” and all this different Rakim stuff, and he was on his Pac wave. And I used to be like, “Yo, this is dope.” So that was like the first spark I got. And then one day I was in the Bronx—I was on the stoop because that was the rules, you couldn’t leave the stoop—and they were having a block party on my block. And I heard this music [starts humming “The Show” opening melody] and Slick Rick and Doug E. Fresh are performing at the block party on my block!

And I’m just like what the fuck is this? And everyone’s going crazy. Literally to this day, that’s one of my top ten favorite rap songs of all time.

After that I would sneak and take my poems and try to rap them to the beat. I don’t know when the full transition happened, but I kinda stopped writing poems and my poetry book turned into a rhyme book and I just had books of rhymes.

That makes sense! Alright, let’s talk about the making of “Lean Back.” Khaled told me y’all did it in a garage?

Yeah. At the time, DJ Khaled was not the Khaled that you guys know today. We at Khaled’s house, and Joe is in the corner doing his Fat Joe thing, and Khaled was “Beat Novacane.” He’s still saved in my phone as Beat Novacane—like, there’s no DJ Khaled in my phone, just Beat Novacane. And we were working on the Terror Squad album and we all had our solo songs. My song was “Yeah Yeah Yeah,” which originally had just me on it, but Joe got on it. And I’m in the studio and I’m just like “Play the album through and let me hear what it’s sounding like so I can see what I can add to it.” So he just gets to this one song that I didn’t even hear before [starts singing the “Lean Back” beat]. I’m like, “What was that? Play that again!”

I’m listening and it’s Joe and he has three verses on it. So I listen to all three of them and I’m like, “The second one. That’s the weakest one. Take that one out, please! Not just mute it, I want it gone! Never to be seen or heard from ever again. Cue the mic…” And I went and kinda bullied my way onto the record. Like, if he thinks for one fucking second that he’s gonna have this record all by himself, he’s fucking bugging. I don’t even know when they snuck and recorded it. I don’t know when Scott Storch weaseled himself in there and laid down the track. All I know is that I had to be on that record. And not to be cocky or whatever, but I know I’m not wack. They’re not gonna take my verse off once it’s on there.

Everyone came the next day and we’re all listening to it and we get to it and it’s like, “Lean Back, Lean Back.” And then when Joe thought his second verse was gonna come in… “R to the eazy/ M to the wizzi/ My arm stay breezy!” I was in the corner like, “Yup! I’m on there and it’s staying!”

So you know that definitely was a hijack situation. But it was dope. We literally recorded that whole Terror Squad album in Khaled’s crib in about two weeks. We all went down to Miami, the whole Squad, and we just knocked it out. It was a lot of fun and a lot of good music on there.

That verse is in the all time, that and the “Ante Up” remix.

“Ante Up” remix was another hijack situation. I spent the beginning years of my rap career hijacking my way onto songs. First of all, I was super young. I don’t think I had officially signed to Loud Records yet. I used to be hanging out at the office, getting to know everybody, waiting to see M.O.P. or to see anybody from Wu-Tang come through, or dying to run into Mobb Deep. Like the roster on Loud Records was crazy back then. They had Big Pun, Wu-Tang, Mobb Deep, and M.O.P. It was just bananas.

So when “Ante Up” came out I was like, “Yo, if they ever do a remix to this, I wish I could be on it.’ Like, I was literally in my house just wishing to be on it. So when the original came out, I wrote a verse as if I was on it. And when I heard that they were actually doing a remix, their A&R of their project, was kind of like my A&R too, eventually…

This was Matty C?

No, this was Sean C was working with them. And I was like, “Yo, if you could get them to hear this verse and they like it, I will love you forever.” And I did the verse and I think they sent it to Premier because the remix ended up being on Funkmaster Flex’s album. And they kept me on it. Like they had a meeting one day—I think they all thought I was a little boy at first—and they had a meeting and I was super pissed because when Premier mixed it, I don’t know what he did when he mixed my voice, but he made it sound squeakier. I was like, “What did he fucking do to my voice?” And they were like, “That’s Premier! You don’t question Premier.” And I’m like, “Fine. Whatever.” But we had this whole big meeting and M.O.P. was there, Busta Rhymes was there, and Prodigy. Prodigy was originally on the “Ante Up” remix too.

Really?

Yup. Prodigy was on the original “Ante Up” remix and he didn’t make the final cut. His verse was dope as fuck, but at the time he was beefing with JAY-Z and he said some line in there that was like a shot. Like, it wasn’t a direct shot, but if you knew what was going on, you knew. And they was like, “Not on this record.” And Prodigy was Prodigy then. Mobb Deep was at their peak. But they were like, “Nah, not on this record. We not doing that,” and I was like, “Welp, as long as my spot is solidified, I’m OK!” And then I had to come after Busta at that! And then we shot the video and Busta broke my Gucci glasses acting all crazy. Like he’s definitely my Gemini brother now, but that whole “Ante Up” video, I had just had my son and was super fat. I felt horribly ugly. I didn’t know anything about hair, makeup, nothing. I spent the whole video getting beat up by Busta Rhymes, cause he was really Busta Rhymes—like he wasn’t the chill, smooth Busta Rhymes that he is now. He was that knock you out by mistake and didn’t even realize it Busta Rhymes. But, one of my most memorable times of my whole career, the “Ante Up” remix.

So let’s get to those Seven Winters and Six Summers. We just heard a song where you were speaking about some real things that happened during that time.

I just played a song called “Company” off of my album, Seven Winters and Six Summers, with A Boogie. And in the record I say I was getting “one visit, two phone calls and three showers a week” and that’s true. That was my life for a long period of time. One visit, two phone calls, and three showers every week—and not necessarily guaranteed. Like, it’s not a guarantee you’re gonna get that one visit, not guaranteed you’re gonna get those two phone calls, and three showers. Like, I stayed in trouble—not as much as some of my friends. And you would literally get three showers a week, three ten-minute showers every seven days. And as a woman, that is horrible. It is very degrading. And you cherish when they give you those ten minutes. Like, you want to get to all of the very important parts and pray that all the soap is out when they cut the water off on you. And for seven winters and six summers that was my reality.

Was this a women’s correctional facility?

Yes this was a women’s facility.

And you were in there with hardcore offenders?

There’s only one maximum-security facility in New York State for women and I stayed there my entire time. Like, it’s crazy because people don’t realize why seven winters and six summers is the name. I could not fathom counting my time in years—definitely wasn’t counting it in months. And where my window was you could only see trees out the window. Let’s say if it was 2012 and the trees were green. I knew I had about four more summers to go—four, maybe five depending on if they gave me good time or not. If it was 2009 and the trees were just branches, I knew I had about six or seven more winters to go.

When it was all said and done, I ended up getting my college degree, and that took a couple of minutes of my time. I did a total of seven winters and six summers. And when I was recording my album, I’d be trying to figure out ways to sneak in tidbits of information, because nobody wants you preaching to them. I can’t even really take myself there. Like certain verses that you guys are going to hear in certain songs, those are lyrics that I actually wrote when I was in prison.

The way it works is when you’re in prison, people are like, “Oh, I know you got mad rhymes, I know you wrote this that and the third.” Like, you are so fucked up in the head and you are so depressed and your life just feels like total shit, your creative juices are stagnant. You get little spurts here and there because I was there for so long, obviously, but you’re not just in there cranking it out. You’re fucking stressed. It’s not a happy time. So it’s hard to put yourself in a different scene, like, “I’m in the club” or “I’m driving this car” or “I’m chilling with my friends just living life and thinking positive thoughts.” It’s hard.

I can’t even front, my life is great right now. Thank God. I have a really good life and I have my health and I have my husband and I have my children and I have money and fame and success—a lot of the things that I thought might not even be possible again. It’s hard to put myself back in that mindstate when everything was so dark and I couldn’t see the light. I don’t even think my brain wants to go back there. My brain is like, “Uh-uh, I don’t want to go there. Nah, we not doing that.” There was a song called “Dreamin'” on the Plato O Plomo album where I said, “I used to be in the cell dreaming that I was home/ And I now I’m home and I’ll be dreaming I’m back in the cell.”

And that shit is so crazy because I would literally be in prison having the most vivid realistic dreams, like I could dream that I have on these boots and I’m doing interviews and the shit would seem real as fuck. And then you wake up and you’re in this fucking little-ass 6′ x 8′ cell with this toilet next to you and a locker. And it’s just fucking horrible and it’s nothing you can do about it.

Now I’ll be home to my big-ass California king bed in my house where it is warm and toasty and my husband is next to me and my son is in the next room sleeping, and I be having nightmares that I’m in prison. Like, I will have on my state greens, my hair is braided. The shit seems just as real as the dreams felt with me being home when I was locked up. The shit is super traumatizing, like it’s crazy. It’s fucking retarded. I can’t even explain it. But seven winters and six summers, it’s like enough time for you to think about a lot of shit.

I spent most of my adult life in prison. When I caught my case, I was 25 going on 26. And when I came home I was starting my thirties. When you’re young and you’re 25, you’re like you’re going to retire at 30 and you’re going to buy this, start a business—and all that shit was thrown out the window. So I’m like, “Where do I start from? What do I have to do?” I’m definitely not going to go get a regular-ass job, like, that’s not happening. I had to figure out what I was going to do.

I spent a lot of my time during those seven winters and six summers researching. I got a subscription to Billboard. I was looking up touring and I was looking at charts. I was looking up who was doing what and who was doing this and what the labels were doing and I came home and literally got straight to work. I came home at 4:30, 8 o’clock that night, I was in the studio with Khaled doing that “They Don’t Love You No More” remix. And I knew that’s what I had to do in order for me to even have a chance of being successful at this music thing again, I had to literally come out and get straight to work. I didn’t have time to chill. I didn’t have time to go get a license or health insurance or go see my mom for all the things I thought I was going to do if I wanted to succeed or have a chance at succeeding. I knew I had to go straight to work.

And you did that and the work is there now for everyone to hear. And we see you went double platinum and you signed a new deal. Congratulations on that BET award, by the way. But I want to ask about that Summer Jam moment you created. What was that about? Why did you want to bring all those women together?

OK, the Summer Jam moment. I love when people ask me about it because that means that my intentions and my goals are being met. At this time, the whole beef thing was still lingering around and everybody was like, “Yo, you gotta go up there and kill shorty! You gotta put her on the screen!” And I’m just like, ‘Everybody did that.’ You could do that, but what I wanna do is something that’s going to be remembered past that—something that, years from now, people are gonna be like, “Yo, remember when Rem did Summer Jam?”

Like, it’s easy for me to break something. It’s easy for me to take a glass and pick it up and shatter it—break it into a million pieces. It’s easy to tear something down. Not everybody can make a glass. Not everybody can take the sand and melt it down and turn it into glass and then form it and make a cup—and now you can drink out of it. It’s harder to build something, and that’s what I wanted to do.

I’m like, “Yo, this is the most that female rap has been talked about in years. What can I do so that it resonates? And not just for right now, but after Summer Jam. Everybody told me that I couldn’t do it. “Oh, you know how women are. They’re catty. This one don’t like this one and this one I don’t like that one, and they need their hair done and they need makeup and they need wardrobe.” So you know what? I took my whole budget and I started making phone calls. “Where you need me to fly you from? Where is your make up artist? What hotel you want to stay? What airlines you want to fly with?”

A lot of people I got to reconnect with. I hadn’t spoken to people in so many years. Everybody that I called was like, “Rem, I got you. It’s no problem. Yes, this is dope! Oh this is gonna be crazy.” If I would’ve thought of the idea two months ahead as opposed to two weeks ahead, it would’ve been so crazy because there were people like Dej Loaf like, “Yo, I want to be there but I got this concert I got to do.'”Or Trina who was like, “Oh, I’m doing a show in Atlanta”‘ Or Eve, who was stuck overseas in London somewhere. But Monie Love came. Rah Digga came. Young M.A came. Lil Kim came. Cardi B was there, MC Lyte, Lady of Rage. Queen Latifah flew in from Switzerland. Dopest moment hands down. Like top 3 dopest moments in my hip hop career and it was all love. I tell people all the time, “If you could see how we were…” I wish there was footage of our interactions backstage, like everybody just fanning out over each other. Like, ‘Yo, let me get a picture of you. Oh, I love you!’ Nothing but love. Amazing moment. Loved it.

Is there a queen of hip hop?

One? Just one person? Is there a king of hip hop?

That’s a fair question.

People ask if there’s a queen of hip hop. Is there one person that’s the king of hip hop, that he’s over hip hop? People going to debate it all day. Some people are gonna say B.I.G., some are gonna say JAY-Z, some people gonna say Eminem, somebody gonna say Pac. I feel like everybody has their thing. And what I did, I don’t care who tried to take credit for it, who tries to erase it, because you know people try to change history once things start happening. I feel like since I came home in 2014, that end of the summer to right now, female hip hop is in a totally different space. Total different space.

I feel like what I do, I encourage people. I encourage women to feel like, “Yo, she came from nothing and she was able—with no record deal, no big management, just her husband and her brothers—to get gold records and double platinum records and Grammy nominations and win the BET Best Female Rapper of the year. That hasn’t been won by anybody else in the last seven winters and six summers that I’ve been gone.

She’s been able to do it and she’s been able to do it being herself, not trying to be like anybody else, not trying to rap like anybody else, not trying to sound like anybody else. And that’s not to discredit anybody else, but that’s just what I did. That’s just the facts. I feel like I encourage women.

Do you feel like you might’ve cleared a space for Cardi B to go through?

I feel like not just Cardi, but for so many women. I don’t want anybody to ever feel like I made anybody. I didn’t make anybody. It’s nothing for you to help somebody. I could’ve been like, ‘Hey, I’m doing a Summer Jam. I got 22 minutes. I’m gonna do “Feels So Good.” I’ma do “Whatever.” I’ma see if Swizz will come out with me. I’ma do “Conceited.” Then I’ma do ‘All the way Up.’ Then I’ma do ‘Money Showers.'”

Nah. I’ma take my 22 minutes and share it with everybody. Cardi, come out, do ya “Foreva” shit. I wish “Bodak Yellow” was out at that time! Young M.A, come out, do ya “OOOUUU” shit. Kim, come do ya shit. Queen, come in here on that “U.N.I.T.Y.” shit. People could say whatever they wanna say. Nobody else was doing that.

I could’ve been like, “I got two Grammy nominations. I got the female rapper of the year award. I’m sitting on daytime TV hosting with them. I’m on one of the most popular reality shows that people actually go on now. Now people are like, ‘Hey you can actually be a relevant artist that’s still doing something and doing TV shows.’ I’m in! Close the door! That’s it! Everybody else stay out.” That’s corny to me.

I always said if I ever get in the position, I’ma open the door and I’m going to put a door stopper in it. Anybody want to come in, they can come in. I don’t feel like anybody’s taking my spot. I don’t feel like anybody’s taking anything from me. Now everybody could say what they wanna say about how they always felt, but nobody was acting on it. People weren’t even taking pictures together, much less doing records together. We [female rappers] don’t work together. It’s going to always seem like we got beef with each other, because every time I say something, you or somebody else is gonna feel like it’s directed towards this person. They ain’t gonna ever say I’m saying something about Cardi, “Why would she say that? She brought Cardi out with her at Summer Jam. She ain’t talking about Kim, regardless of how much it may fit. Nah, she just did a record with Kim. She not talking about La, she not talking about Young M.A.” That’s cool and I think it’s dope, because we can do it! It’s some dope-ass females out here and we all contributed. Every last one of us, even the ones that I don’t like, everybody contributed their own shit. Everybody’s a queen in their own right.

Why is it so often that female rappers are presented in the industry as warring with each other?

I don’t know. I don’t know why. But I think it’s females in general, in any field. You go to a police department, I’m pretty sure the female officers are gonna tell you the same thing. You go to a hospital, the female doctors will tell you the same thing. The fact that our genders are always put before our occupation might be the beginning of the problem. Female doctor. Female cop. Female lawyer. Female rapper. What the fuck is that? So how does it feel being a female rapper? Do you ever sit and here and be like, “Yo, how’s it feel being a male rapper?” No one asks anybody that. So I think it begins with the fact that our gender is being placed before our occupation.

When we had Joe in here, he said you were the most positive role model that he could imagine coming home from where you were coming from, having a solid marriage, making big hit records and doing all of the things you did. Then he said, “zshe got into that beef, so I guess that’s hip hop.” Was “SHEther” just hip hop, or was it a personal situation?

“SHEther” was just what it was. I don’t care. I don’t care. I really don’t. You ask anybody, for the next couple of interviews ask them, “Where were you when you first heard ‘SHEther’?” Whenever I say that to somebody, they tell me exactly where they were and what they were doing, so it was definitely a moment. But I feel like everything plays a part.

It’s the same thing with “Ether.” You know, “Ether” was what it was. Does that change who Nas is? Does that change who JAY-Z is? But did it change hip hop? Absolutely.

So I feel like that may have been just another piece of the puzzle that has people talking about women in hip hop again, and has women feeling inspired. When I go across my timeline, or I just type in female rappers on Google, I see all these different women from different places and they’re really rapping though. They’re really rapping! I love it! [x]

[fictionalarsonist]

「17_junhui | Hell-O Ween Chronicles Series #4 ; Part II」

Requested by @hungline​

pairing: jun ⨯ male reader; (feat some ocs) rating: PG-13 (character death, ghost!au) word count: 4.4K

premise: Jun is a musician who only wishes for some peace and inspiration, but stumbles on a more than a century old promise from one of his ancestors.

a/n: not properly edited.

[ part 1 | part 2 ]

「 masterlist | request | Hell-O Ween Chronicles Series 」

The farther he went from the village, the more Junhui couldn’t help but noticed the villagers pointed looks and most occasional whispers whenever they’re with someone, the closer he went from the woods, then the more silent everything became. The houses started to become farther away from each other until all he saw was abandoned property, then it was just a field widely spaced trees that slowly became more and more aligned until he was before something that resembled a wall of trees.

Those trees were almost carefully placed afar from each other equally as if to form a straight line and on every one of these Junhui could see a scar marked on their trunk, those “scars” looked like letters, but he had never seen any letter like those in his life. He couldn’t hear the village anymore, the cars, the people, he didn’t turn to see, but felt as if he were several miles from them, where he was, almost at the edge of the woods, he could hear the wind howling just in his room, a beautiful sound, he noted, stepping into the woods however, everything seemed to dim, the sounds, they seemed to be toned down and he felt them more than heard them per se.

The woods was for Junhui another word and he felt so the moment his feet crunched the dry leaves as he stepped the boundaries beyond the lined trees, curiously enough, those dry leaves didn’t seem to fall anywhere beyond that border, he faintly noticed as he walked in. His steps echoed loud and clear, but not loud enough and the dimmed sounds that surrounded him, from birds to the howling wind, all disappeared, the sounds of his steps where the only thing he could hear and nothing else, he could feel the cold from the wind and the way it brushed his hair and against the small pieces of exposed skin here and there, his neck, hands and forearms since he pulled his sleeves up as he always use to do when he’s intending to play the violin. Junhui allows himself to be taken by his feet and only stops when he feels the silent and quiet woods are surrounding him in peacefulness, he sighs and looks around, seeing the beautiful patterns of the morning sunlight delving through the trees and reaching its fingertips on the ground, still not warm enough, somewhere, in the back of this mind, he thinks to himself that he should stop and think about this oddly silent quietness, he can hear his breathing loud and clear and his heart beating is just as noticeable, but he doesn’t feel in danger nor alarmed, so he doesn’t mind.

Junhui places the violin case down and kneels down, takes the instrument before standing up again and positions himself to start testing on it. How long has it been since he felt so at peace, so happy and relaxed when playing? Not worrying about the right way to do it, not caring about the right technique, all the pointers, all his weakness, all the learning, all the pressure-- How long has it been?

As the notes flow beautifully out of him, like they’re a part of himself he’s sharing, Junhui feels himself smile and closes his eyes, enjoying himself, happiness and joyfulness bubbles out of him and he can’t explain why his eyes sting with tears behind his eyelids as the music seems to be play him, his strings are the ones being pulled, not the violin’s, Junhui doesn’t mind calling this by a name. When he opens his eyes, he doesn’t cry, his eyes still sting, but he doesn’t cry. Junhui witnesses something out of this world and he doesn’t mind if it’s just an illusion because the way his music takes the woods, giving life to everything around him as if he’s painting a white canvas is breathtaking, his heart beatings drums along with the notes floating around him and Junhui can almost see them, he’s in ecstasy.

More, the song goes on, follows its own course, Junhui has no idea where to go next, he doesn’t know and doesn’t care if he’ll remember this later on, he simply lets himself be possessed by it and the woods takes it, absorbs it only to roughly cut him. Everything stops when Junhui hears the sound of dry leaves being crushed, a lonely, broken note echoes and distances itself away from him, Junhui feels his pupils constrict and grow two sizes again, in alert, as he looks around and the woods are just as he saw it at first, rather colorless and less alive, but much brighter and warmer now that the sunlight has its paws a little more extended. With the corner of his eyes, Junhui sees a shadow move behind a tree, away from him, he hears steps on dry leaves again, but doesn’t see anyone when he turns to look and brings the violin down from his shoulder, turning to look around, but, then he hears nothing. It’s a dead silent place, he’s the only one there as far as he can tell, so obviously he could hear things, he just didn’t expect while he was so immersed in playing.

It happens again when he takes his previous position and motions the violin to place on his shoulder again, a shudder runs down his spine and he turns towards the sound so fast his ears buzz with the wind passing by them, his eyes shot to an empty spot with no trees where another sound comes from, but there’s no one there, he looks at the dry leaves on the ground, but they don’t move, of course, why’d they move, there’s no one there except for him. Again, it’s accidental this time, Junhui turns and with the corner of his eyes he see a silhouette against the sun rays passing through the trees, he turns and there’s no one there.

His heart lose the rhythm, opting for a crazy race and Junhui thinks about leaving, but his feet refuse to leave, he hears steps again, someone shuffling, it sounds like, then a breathing other than his and that attracts his eyes to the right place and he sees you there. His breath is caught in his throat and he hesitantly tries breathing out in relief, he finds it easy when his eyes scan you hurriedly and they are kept on you, and you don’t vanish like those silhouettes he saw.

‘My mind’s playing tricks on me again’ - he tells himself and blinks, breathing more

“I apologize”, you start with a very calm and polite tone in your voice, “I didn’t mean to scare you”

Junhui notices how your accent is much heavier than those around the village, much like that man who helped him the night before, when he manages to relax little by little.

“No, it’s okay”, he licks his lips, a little disappointed for not being alone anymore, “I just--”, he tilts his head a little, dismissively, Junhui pulls out his usual facade pulled into a common smile  that looks beautiful on him and it’s hard not to notice, “you surprised, that’s all”

“In this case, I apologize for disturbing you”, Junhui frowns a little at your mannerism, much more outdated than the others at the village, “I heard you playing and could not stop myself from coming by...”, you smiled rather apologetic and Junhui couldn’t stop himself from admiring you.

You’re there, talking to him, you are there indeed, but what is this halo that surrounds you? Something that is blurry around the edges but not quite because he can’t see, it’s much similar to when he walked in the woods and the sounds from birds and insects and everything else became distant the more deep his legs took him, until he could feel them (the sounds) rather than hear them, then, at some point, he couldn’t hear at all, just like that is whatever that surrounds you, this myst (?) that evolves you. Something isn’t quite right and Junhui doesn’t understand why he feels that way, he squints for a moment, getting this unrealistic impression that you’re two dimensional, something that resembles the element of a dream tainting the reality as an illusion, but that’s stupid because he can see you as clear and as real as everything that is around him.

“...it has been a long time since I heard something so beautiful--”, as you place your hand on the tree nearby, something else gets Junhui’s attention and that is your pale complexion he, somehow, missed or, perhaps, ignored, at first, “I’m sorry, I did not mean to be a bother--”, when you lean on the tree more noticeably, Junhui is confused if that’s really your natural appearance, you seem to be fading before him.

“Are you-- feeling alright?”, he finds himself asking hesitantly, not minding your last apology and your weak smile is too weak to assure him anything, so he slowly places the instrument down in its case and walks over to you, not missing the way your eyes looks static, but dismissing this as a comprobation that you might not be feeling well.

One year passed by and not my father nor my brother came back, the news I got from the battle were, at the very least, unsettling, I grew anxious everyday, waiting for more news, but hoping that, instead of news I’d see my father and my brother again, but I was lucky to have the man I love there with me, Marquess Wen Jerry, put his life aside to be with me, he didn’t return to China as he supposed to and transferred his business here as much as he could, I knew I was being selfish, as a Chinese Marquess it was nearly impossible for him to accomplish his duties when he was so far away from his designed country, but I just found it hard to tell him that I would be alright with him away, I could not send him away and so he stayed.

Another year was added to the first, time seemed to drag before me and there came the time when I saw people coming back to their homes, not my father nor my brother came back and I waited as patiently as I could, spending most of my daily hours locked in my father’s office, taking care of my family’s affairs, I could see how worried my husband became as I excused myself from his presence everyday more often and spent more and more time locked in that office. He saw it how my internal suffering turned into reclusion and prior to any harsh change, he tried to pull me away from what, he confessed, he feared to be inevitable if he closed his eyes to, so, he acted upon his fears and forced me into spending more days alongside him and he did made me happy, for the first time in a long time I heard him play violin for the first time in those two years and after that long, I followed after him, playing the piano, but that his attempts failed with time, soon he could no longer reach out to me, I did not allow him and I was numb from any sort of feelings to understand his suffering as well. Now I can only lament my actions towards someone who loved me so dearly.

I locked most of the rooms except for those we needed and sent away the servants that were no longer relevant, My whole world became my father’s office where I went through papers of his duties and when that was over, I went over them again.

Until the unavoidable happened when the Marquess had to return to his country to attend an urgent matter, my chinese is poor, but I could understand the conversation I heard that morning at the room made into office that was granted to him.

“Come with me”, he begged that night, holding me in his arms as hid myself in his warmth.

I hugged him tightly, trying to feel something, anything, but, at that point, I doubted my love for him, all because I was so shallow, my heart went numb for any sort of feeling, in fact, he was the one to assure me I loved him for many times before.

“I promise we will return once my business are taken care of”, he spoke solemnly and my heart believed him with its all might, but my fears of leaving refused to accept this one feeling I was granted.

I closed my eyes and tried to battle against all that was haunting me, I just wished to be who I once I was for him, to believe him and accept him with eyes closed, just follow him, but then I realized that leaving would mean accepting the possibility that I no longer had a family to wait for and the more I thought about it, the more unbearable my tears stung until I had no control over them and his arms accepted my cries and he apologized despite me being the selfish and wrong.

…

When the Marquess left, then I had nothing else to look forward, but I only noticed after his coach disappeared in the fog and I returned to the office, haunted by my thoughts and fears like never before, the deafening sound was desperating, my breathing, my heart beating, as the days passed I hated it all, I hated myself. No longer after I received a letter from the Marquess and it soothed my loneliness and my desperation as I read.

“...I’ will come back by the time of the first know. It’s a promise, my love.”

“Hey?!”, Junhui called again when he was close to you and reached to catch you the moment your legs failed, your body bumped into him and he caught you, the weight of your body against his could not be confused with something other than real, but Junhui put his thoughts aside, worried by how cold your skin felt against his, he gulped down, “I better take you to the village--”, he said when touched your forehead to confirm, your ice-cold skin almost burned him.

“No!”, you grasped on his jacket and the urgency in your voice took him by surprise and he held you still, “I--I mean I do not-- live there”

“You don’t?”, he frowned

“Take me home”, you pleaded

Your eyes seemed to darken and Junhui noticed how you tried to keep them open, he slowly nodded at you, unable to tear his eyes from yours, despite never meeting you before,having your eyes staring at his felt familiar.

“Alright”, he looked at you again, “can you walk?”, you nodded weakly and tried pushing yourself to stand again, failing at keeping your balance, Junhui is quick to get you again, “okay, okay..”, he helps you seat near the tree carefully, “just wait here--”

Your hand grip on his hand the moment he turns away, he stops and crouches down near you again with encouraging smile.

“W-Where--”, Junhui began to worry even more when your teeth collided, you seemed to get colder by the second.

“Maybe we really should go to the village, you need--”

“No, no!!”, you grasp tightens on him and Junhui can feel your nails making his palm, he touches your arm, trying to soothe you as you keep talking, “I just-- I need to go home. Please, take me home!”, your eyes search for his, pleading with desperation and he finds himself agreeing.

“Let me just get my violin”, he points at the abandoned instrument behind him and sees you breathing out in relief.

His fingers, from the hand you’ve been holding, presses against your cold skin, the contrast of his warm skin on yours almost makes him feel like shuddering and Junhui bites his tongue to avoid.

“I’ll be right back”, he mutters as a promise.

Junhui doesn’t miss the way you hesitate before letting go of his hands, it intrigues him further and his eyes follow yours, oddly familiar, helping helps you seat with your back against the tree.

“Just wait here”, your hands let go of his very slowly and he walks backwards the first three steps before turning his back to you and walking towards his violin.

Only when he reaches down to his violin Junhui realizes how the deadly silent woods isn’t as silent, he can faintly hear birds chirping and the wind rustling against the leaves, little by little, the more he pays attention, the more he can listen, but not as a person inside the woods would listen. To him, is like he’s trapped behind a glass, the sounds are faint and distant, they don’t reach him easily, Junhui stands up with the closed case in hand and look up, there’s a tree right before him and there’s a small bird cleaning its feathers on one of the branches. Well, at least that what it looks like it, Junhui can’t really tell because his vision of the bird seems to be foggy, he looks down, towards the village, but the trees he saw when stepped in the woods seem larger and he can’t see through the gaps between them, the sun is reaching up higher in the sky and the woods is immersed in sunlight, but darkness takes over beyond the lines trees where the woods begins.

‘It’s probably clouded there’, Junhui dismiss the problem with this thought and turns his back at the village to look at you and hurries his steps, seeing the way your body bends sideways and you hide your face in your hands.

“Can you walk?”

Junhui crouches down before you and shakes your shoulder, afraid the low temperature of your body might cause you to faint, would walk help? Somewhere in the back of his mind he remembers something about blood circulations and whatnot, he’s never really minded classes others than arts back in school. You nod weakly at him and he clicks his tongue, he doesn’t notices he can’t hear the birds not anything else around him as he a moment earlier, too worried about you to give it a thought about anything else.

“It’s silent again”, Junhui mutters to himself while helping you stand on your feet by through one of your arms around his shoulders.

“W-What?”, your voice trembles and Junhui does the best to resist the cold your body emanates, holding close to him in hopes that, his body might warm yours.

“Nothing”, he replies shortly after, “Where do you live? Are you sure it’s not in the village?”, he insist, afraid the cold might be taking your rationality.

You weakly point the way opposite the village, a path that takes him downhill. The further he walks in the woods, down the mountain, Junhui notices how time seem to drag itself, the sun barely moves from where it was at first, even if he feels like it should be the middle of the afternoon by then.

“Don’t sleep!”, he warns you, shrugging to make sure you wake up when he feels like your breathing is becoming shallow.

At some point he had to carry you on his back, you couldn’t walk.

Time dragged itself so slow and painful and all I could do was wait.

Wait for my father, for my brother…

… ...Wait for him.

I did not wish to see the first snow without the Marquess.

How could Junhui possibly believe what he’s seeing?

The sun slowly disappears, it has been sometime now that Junhui could start to hear things around him other than himself or you, your skin’s still cold, your breathing still shallow and he had to do something to keep you awake every now and then, but he feels your heart beating stronger against his back, but he knows he has to hurry and take you home as you plead, at some point his feet know where to go when a hidden path appears on his way. However, his feet stuck the moment he sees the imposing construction before him, a castle.

It’s hard for him to believe this castle stands there by itself and moreover, that you live there.

“Take me in-- please”, you whisper to him and there’s something familiar about the way your voice is carried by the wind.

Junhui turns his head to look at you and you whisper another “please” at him just when the wind blows strong towards the castle, your dark eyes stare at his with blown pupils and Junhui steps in past the line where the gates usually close. Knowing how this part of the country is famous for keeping old traditions, he doesn’t question the dated surroundings kept as they should be, instead, he takes you towards the castle, following the large path for coaches around the font, but before he can reach the entrance, servants come to take you from him.

“My goodness, y/n! We were looking for you everywhere!”, the who approaches him is an unexpected presence, he sonds concerned.

For a moment or two, Junhui simply stares at him, it’s the same man who lives in the hostel, the same who helped him last night, he can’t be mistaken, there couldn’t possibly exist two people who are exactly the same. Secretly, Junhui admitted there’s something different, but he can’t tell what and decided to stay silent. When the man’s eyes find him, awkwardly standing there, ready to excuse himself and leave.

A smile that plays something akin to disbelief, wavers on the man’s lips as he walks towards Junhui as you’re taken into the castle.

“You-- Came?!”, Junhui frowns at his surprised tone, “I apologize--”, the man starts again, “sometimes I stay in the village, the people there are really interesting”, there a small pause, “I’m Sir Daniel Pole, y/n older brother”

There’s a small pause, Junhui only nods and the man reaches out his hand, they shook hands.

“I’m Wen Junhui”

“Wen?”

“I’m sorry. Wen is my last name, in English it’d be Junhui Wen”, they draw their hands back and your brother walks Junhui in the castle.

Both draw their hands back and Daniel mentions his hand politely towards the castle.

“it’s getting late, why don’t you stay tonight?”, he suggest and speaks again before Junhui would refuse, “We can head back tomorrow”

Junhui nods, feeling out of place and follows the other into the castle.

“In the past our family was friends with a certain Wen from a noble family from China”, there’s a small pause as they step into the castle and Junhui tries to discreetly look around the magnificent place, the servants light up the lanterns, “do you happen to have any Jerry Wen as a family ancestor?”

“Daniel!”, a male elder’s voice is heard and the two men turn to your father, “do not upset him, your brother would probably dislike”

“You’re right, father”, he turns to look at you with an apologetic smile

“I apologize, Mr. Wen”, Junhui shakes his head, unsure of how to behave exactly

“No, it’s-- fine”, he makes a pause as the elder man stop close to him, “Honestly, I don’t know if I have an ancestor called Jerry Wen”

“Well, Mr. Wen”, the elder starts with a deep, resonating voice, “let us not mind this detail now. I hope you find your stay in our home comfortable”

“Thank you for letting me stay for the night, Sir--”

“Father is Duke de Pole”, a proud smile forms on the elder’s face

“Of course, I’m sorry. I didn’t know--”

“We understand, do not worry, Mr. Wen.”, the man chuckles deeply, “our butler will show you your room”

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The sounds brought Junhui completely from half-dreamy state and he’d said a ‘come in’, but the door was opened and the next thing he saw one of the male servants he saw the day before walked in his room.

“Excuse me, Sir”, the man spoke with reverence, followed by another male servant, “I’m here to assist you to dress”, Junhui frowns

“Wh--What?”, he stutters

Pushing himself to sit up, Junhui brushes his bed hair back with his fingers and looks around confused, feeling lost. He takes a while to gather his thoughts and frowning in confusion he looks around the room.

“To dress up, Sir”, the man repeated, “For breakfast”

“Ah! S--Sure”, Junhui sighed and tried looking for his watch on the nightstand, but it stopped working on the evening before, “It’s okay, I can dress on my own--”, more knocks on the door interrupts him.

“Uhm-- Excuse me?”, it’s you who walks in, “Mr. Wen?! Good Morning!”

“Good Morning!---”, Junhui hesitated, “How should I call you?”, you chuckled

“As you like, Mr. Wen”, you shurg

“Are you sure? Your brother and your father--”

“Do not worry about them, you can simply call me y/n”

“If that’s the case, then just call me Jun instead of Mr. Wen. It makes you sound like one of my professors from from junior high when I got in trouble”

Junhui doesn’t know why seeing you smile made him smile as well and for a brief moment it was just that, until Junhui cought on his foolishness and shook his head and saw the clothing that was bough to him on the second and silent servant by the other’s side.

“I guess I’ll leave after the breakfast. I can’t be here for long”, Junhui misses the way your smile fell.

“Mr. Wen! You cannot possibly leave in a day like this!”, Junhui frowns

“A day like this? Why?”, the way the servant looks at the window makes him jump out of bed and push the curtains open just enough to see the trees,the land, the castle and the mountain covered in a white blanket of snow, “It’s-- snowing?”

“It’s the first snow”, he hears you from somewhere behind him and he looks at you with a frown.

“But--”, his eyes shuffle from your to the servants, then to you again, “I heard it never snows around here”, you smile, beautifully, Junhui surprises himself noticing.

“Feels like a miracle”, Junhui looks back at the snow floating down from the clouded sky and almost whispers a ‘yeah’, but the words feel distant and he forgets, “--it hasn’t snowed in our country for many years”

He frowns, confused, trying to gather his messed up thoughts, not sure why they’re in such a way, but when he looks back at you, he lets his hand reach out for yours and your step closer to him, in a moment, his mind is clouded, the other, he relaxes.

“This is really the first snow?”, his eyes are fixed on yours, staring at you in disbelief as you nod assortatively at him.

“I came just in time”, seeing you smile brightly he can’t do anything but smile back at you, cupping your face in his hands and pulling you close for a kiss, “thank you for waiting for me”, his breath fans over your lips and his pecks yours, looking up from them to your eyes.

[tipsycad147]

How to Stop Dating the Wrong Person

Women get into bad relationships over and over because they don’t learn from their mistakes. The wonderful thing about dating is that we attract what we need to work on in ourselves. A woman who needs to learn to love herself is a magnet for men who for a variety of reasons are unable or unwilling to give. When a woman recognises what the wrong man is highlighting for her – perhaps that she needs to take better care of herself, set better limits, be more assertive, or become better able to entertain herself – she can end the relationship and get to work on growing and developing in ways that will make her happier with herself and thus less susceptible to repeating her dating mistakes.

You Think You Can “Make Him a Better Man”

However you picture yourself in this partnership–romantic heroine, artistic muse, a saviour of lost souls–you’re entering into such a relationship based on the belief that there’s something wrong or lacking in your lover. Your plan is to fix him, reform him, or shape him into the man he’s truly meant to be. (In this “reverse-Pygmalion” scenario, you’ve cast yourself as Professor Higgins, and your lover as Eliza Doolittle.) But unless your man is on board from the get-go with your makeover scheme, you’re setting yourself and the relationship up for failure.

It’s true, some men do turn to a lover with hopes of self-improvement, but for the most part, guys don’t want to be thought of merely as malleable lumps of clay for a woman to mould to her whims. And it’s hard to blame them. Having the need to make a better man of him implies the belief that you’re better than him to begin with. If the shoe were on the other foot, wouldn’t you resent someone who thought you “needed fixing?”

What Can You Do?

Helping someone realise his or her true potential may be an admirable aspiration, but if you really want to guide someone along this path, you might want to take it out of the context of your personal relationships and apply those talents and instincts elsewhere. Volunteer your time at an adult education centre. Become a tutor. Find a way to channel your instinct to do good where it will be truly needed. Start looking for a man you can think of as a partner, rather than a project, and you’re much more likely to find long-term happiness.

You’re Repeating History With An Aim to Change It

Did you grow up in an atmosphere of abuse or neglect? Was your father cold or overly critical? Did your parents divorce, only you were certain they could have and should have worked things out? Was your mother constantly trying to please, but always falling short, not through lack of effort on her part, but because the man she was married to had unrealistic expectations?

Growing up with these kinds of role models often instills in women a need to recreate the disappointing environments in which they grew up in order to make things right.

But unfortunately, by attempting to heal a hurt that happened in the past, these women only recreate it in the present. Re-living a set of circumstances is no guarantee that you will be any better equipped to achieve success than your parents, especially in what is often a no-win situation. Cold, neglectful, abusive men are not going to become warm, forthcoming, and kind. It’s not in their nature.

What Can You Do?

Acknowledge your past. Understand where you came from and how you came to be the person you are. Then forgive and let it go. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but rather than trying to fix something broken that you had absolutely no control over, try to focus instead on building something strong and healthy, in which both partners have an equal say.

You Secretly Believe You Don’t Deserve to Be Happy

Everywhere you look you see other women who are living productive lives. They’re married to wonderful men, they have the kids they always wanted, and they’re living their dreams. You, on the other hand, are either stuck in a dead-end relationship, or are alone…again.

But your lack of a fulfilling love life isn’t something that surprises you, because you believe that any man who would really make a decent husband or boyfriend can do better than you. When you do date, it’s usually men that others might consider losers, but that’s because you either think it’s the best you can do, or that you’ve done something in your past that you think makes you undesirable or unworthy of true love.

What Can You Do?

The short answer is to get some counselings to discover the source of your lack of self-esteem, and begin to heal it. Loving and being loved isn’t an automatic given in anyone’s life, but thinking of yourself as undeserving is something that, with help, you can likely overcome, and loving yourself is the first step in being able to love and be loved by someone wonderful.

You’re “Getting Even” With Someone

Dating on the rebound can land you in all kinds of complications, and your romantic radar can take a major hit, especially if you’re the one that’s been dumped. All too often, in an effort to show an ex what they’re missing out on, women plunge into unhealthy relationships that are much easier to get into than get out of. However, “I’ll show him!” is not a healthy rationale for starting any subsequent relationship.

What Can You Do?

When a relationship ends, in many ways, it’s like a death. Give yourself time to mourn the loss. Give yourself space. If someone dumped you, you can either waste your time plotting to either get revenge or get him back, or you can try to learn from your experience. By forgiving your ex, forgiving yourself, and letting go, you’re actually making yourself a better candidate for the next love that comes along.

You’re In Denial

What do you mean my husband/boyfriend/lover isn’t good enough for me? Okay, so he’s cheated on me a few times, and he can’t hold down a job. Maybe he drinks a little too much, and he’s hit me once or twice, but he’s under so much stress, he really couldn’t help it… Really, he’s such a good man!

Are your friends, family and co-workers constantly concerned over your well-being, and either hint that something in your relationship is not as it should be, or just come straight out and tell you that your partner is bad news? You might rationalize that they’re just jealous of you, or that they simply don’t understand your situation, but if you find yourself repeatedly having to explain his bad behavior, it’s likely that there’s at least some truth to what they’re saying. Men who cheat, beat, or otherwise abuse a woman are not good men at all, and no amount of wishful thinking on your part is going to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.

What Can You Do?

In all honesty, this is a tough one. If one person tells you your man isn’t up to par, you should certainly reserve judgement, but if there’s a resounding chorus of concern from everyone who loves and cares for you, it’s time to wake up and smell the coffee. Perhaps in addition to denial, you’re stuck in one of the other scenarios above: You’re trying to heal an old hurt, or just don’t think you’re worthy of a wonderful man. Whatever the case, you must learn to put your emotional and physical health and safety first. Once you admit the truth, if you’re not able to get clear of an abusive relationship, you will in a much better frame of mind to ask for the help you need to extricate yourself.

If any of these situations sound like your current relationship, it’s probably time to get out. Don’t settle for a bad relationship with the wrong person–know that you’re worth more, and that only by getting yourself out of your current situation can you open yourself up to all of life’s possibilities.

https://i-lovespell.com/how-to-stop-dating-the-wrong-person/

[mayarosa47]

Why Are Divorce Rates So High?

Divorce rates are very high nowadays. There are so many couples seeking for divorce in this current world. A bigger percentage of couples are not happy in their marriages, and this is really not good. To add salt to injury, new couples are also divorcing more than ever before. People can get married just for a month or even two weeks and then divorce.

O the other hand, you can find couples who have been married for over thirty years wanting to divorce. It is very unfortunate that most marriages are failing. As much as all this is happening, I am very sure no one gets into marriage expecting it to fail.

Everyone who marries believes that he or she has found their soulmate and hopes that they will stay together after being bound by the marriage vow. Actually newly married couples usually have a lot of good expectations but unfortunately life is full of uncertainties.

You can never predict what would happen since anyone can turn their back on you, and then you are left all alone not knowing what to do. With this thought in mind, I would like to talk about the major causes of divorce.

Infidelity

What is infidelity? This is having an affair outside marriage. Most people call it cheating or better still adultery. Cases of cheating are rampant nowadays. There are so many cases of spouses killing each other simply because he or she found the other one cheating. Instead of killing each other, some spouses just decide to divorce. Actually, extra-marital affairs are responsible for the breakdown of very many families. The major question we are supposed to ask here is, what causes infidelity? I will discuss two major reasons of infidelity,

Revenge for past infidelity

Believe it or not some partners find it hard to forgive their partners who cheated on them. They therefore decide to revenge by cheating also, which brings more harm than good. I think when it gets to this point, the couple should see a marriage counselor.

Feeling like the relationship is one sided

If one partner feels like he or she has less attention, underappreciated or all the financial burden is on him or her then the relationship is one sided. This might tempt him or her to find some other companion outside which is really dangerous.

Money

This is actually the big dog here. It is a fact that the money question has broken majority of marriages. Problems may arise due to careless spending habits or one partner having more money than the other. I tend to believe that most men feel threatened if their wives earn more than them. This may lead to unnecessary chaos. Another challenge is that if the woman earns more, she may feel superior leading to power struggle. The law of nature states that the man is the head of the house. This will never change no matter how learned a woman is. I think this is the reason why some men do not allow their wives to work after marrying them. Such factors should be taken into keen consideration if at all partners want to have a stable marriage. Proper planning on finances needs to be done in each family.

Constant Arguing

Couples can argue about finances, kids or their responsibilities. I have seen most couples arguing about kids. Such arguments include: who should pick the kids from school, blaming each other for the rebelliousness of one child, arguing on who should pay school fees, buy clothes for children and even blaming each other on childlessness. Both partners may be working, and so when they reach home in the evening after work, they start arguing on who should do the house chores.

The main reason as to why a couple may be constantly arguing is that one may be feeling like her opinions are being ignored and therefore he or she always comes up with the same issue. This is really dangerous to any relationship, may it be dating or marriage since one partner will get tired and give up, leading to divorce.

Lack of communication

Good communication is the foundation of quality marriage. Yelling and speaking harshly or giving each other negative comments is not right. Shouting or yelling is not good since the other partner will get offended. A soft answer turns away wrath. It is unfortunate that some couples are used to yelling at each other on very minor issues. Unhealthy methods of communication should be ditched in any relationship since this is a major cause of divorce.

Having unrealistic expectations

Life is full of disappointments. Getting into a marriage expecting your spouse to live up to the image of who they are in your mind is not advisable. Some partners expect too much from their partners in which they cannot offer.

This makes them view their partners as failures since they have not met their standards. Wrong expectations can therefore lead to divorce. You should love the person that you are seeing and not the idea of who they should be or they are going to be after marriage.

Abuse

Abuse can be physical or emotional. Physical abuse is rampant in our current world. If you talk to many young people, they usually have a story to tell about their parents who have lived fighting and beating each other. Physical abuse does not just come as the first step, it actually begins with emotional abuse where one partner, say the man, criticizes the woman on her dressing style, walking style, how she talks, her physical appearance and worse still control her every movement.

As it is known, women thrive on what they hear. This might really affect a lady. As for women, they may try to blame the men for their unhappiness, constantly check their phones for their text messages and phone calls or even accuse their husbands of cheating. All these are forms of emotional abuse.

If emotional abuse leads to physical abuse whereby the husband and wife beat each other, then that is a no go zone. This is a big cause of divorce. It is advisable that one should flee an abusive relationship or marriage so as to save yourself and your kids all the suffering which is really traumatizing.

Lack of preparation for marriage

It is usually said that marriage should not be entered into unadvisedly and without reverence. Some youths just enter marriage without any consultation thinking that it would be easy. They may actually be thinking that they are fleeing their current problems since they have found the person they love, only to realize that they are adding onto their troubles.

One should be psychologically prepared and well advised on how to stay with his or her spouse and children. Since many young people especially those in their 20’s enter into matrimony unadvisedly, they find it hard to cope with the challenges and afterwards divorce.

Lack of intimacy

Can you imagine couples living like a brother and sister? Think of a couple who neither have physical intimacy nor emotional intimacy. If you are not connected to your partner, it actually feels like you are living with a total stranger.

Intimacy is not all about sexual needs – emotional intimacy is also important whereby you connect, talk nicely to each other, surprise each other and also help each other. You should also not ignore your partners sexual needs. You need to be there to cater for their sexual needs otherwise they will start having the thoughts of infidelity which may lead to divorce.

Change In Physical Appearance

It is really surprising how the body of women changes after giving birth to children. Some men marry slim ladies who after delivering children become plump due to baby fat. Since God made people with a lot of diversities, some men marry plump ladies who reduce after delivering their babies. If love and understanding is not what governs a relationship, then the husband might start finding his wife less sexually attractive. Once he withdraws his attention from her, the problem arises there.

Some couples therefore divorce due to that, and this is really bad. As long as a girl tries to maintain her hygiene after delivery, I don’t think physical appearance should matter.

Hiding The Real Personality During Courtship

It is certainly true that a woman can hide the real her in order to catch the attention of a man. The same can also happen to a woman whereby a man hides the real him so as to marry her. This is not correct at all.

It is usually said that you should not pretend but you should be yourself and someone will love you for who you are. It is really bad that some people realize later in marriage that they married a totally different person. In worst case scenarios, a man may marry a very innocent and humble woman, educate her until she gets where she wanted to be, but unfortunately the woman may change and turn wild to a point where the husband cannot tell her anything.

Many people are just perseverant in marriage instead of enjoying their marriages – such a sad state. In such cases where partners find out that they are strangers to each other, they mostly opt to divorce.

Alcohol and Drug Abuse

Alcohol is a commonly abused drug. A combination of alcohol and other drugs is more dangerous. The problem usually comes up if the breadwinner of the house drinks irresponsibly and forgets about his responsibilities. Some men use all their salary on drinking and neglect their families, leaving the family with a lot of financial constraints. In addition to this, the level of drug abuse may get to a point where the partner no longer reports to work on time or even does not go to work because he or she spends most of his time satisfying the addictions. In other cases drug abuse may cause violence in the homes. This is another big cause of divorce.

Infertility

Apart from companionship, people get married for procreation. It is the desire of every woman to bear children. A couple may be unable to have children due to reproductive issues from either the husband or the wife. The problem with our society is that people are always fast to blame the women which is wrong. A man can also be infertile. In such situations people are told to seek medical guidance. If the partners are not patient with each other hoping that things might change, then this is another major cause of divorce.

Loneliness

This mostly occurs in long distance relationships or marriages. After marriage, it is not advisable to take your spouse for granted. If your partner lives in another country or works far, you really need to communicate a lot to cover the fact that you are in a long distance marriage. If this does not happen, partners might lose interest in each other leading to loneliness. Loneliness might trigger one’s mind into infidelity which may eventually lead to divorce.

Losing Focus Due To Roles

It is so unfortunate that most couples after getting children they put all their focus on children and forget the reason as to why they got married in the first place. They major on their children so much, forgetting that they have a spouse. As children grow up to the point where they are working, the couple is left alone and realize that they have nothing in common and have grown to be apart. This can easily lead to divorce, since there is no connection.

Disagreements And Inability To Solve Conflicts

Every couple has disagreements The only difference is how couples resolves conflicts. Decisions should not be one-sided. In some cases, a third party such as a parent, elder or pastor has to be involved so as to help the couple resolve the conflict. In this case both partners should be willing to listen, otherwise they may end up in divorce.

Divorce Attorney Free Consultation

When you need help with a divorce in Utah, please call Ascent Law at (801) 676-5506. We will help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Corporate Lawyer Herriman Utah

Wrongful Death Cases

What a Car Accident Lawyer Says

Child Support for the Unwed

Salt Lake City Contract Attorney

At What Value Should You Get a Trust For Estate Tax Purposes?

from https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/why-are-divorce-rates-so-high/

from Criminal Defense Lawyer West Jordan Utah - Blog http://criminaldefenselawyerwestjordanutah.weebly.com/blog/why-are-divorce-rates-so-high

[aretia]

Why Are Divorce Rates So High?

Divorce rates are very high nowadays. There are so many couples seeking for divorce in this current world. A bigger percentage of couples are not happy in their marriages, and this is really not good. To add salt to injury, new couples are also divorcing more than ever before. People can get married just for a month or even two weeks and then divorce.

O the other hand, you can find couples who have been married for over thirty years wanting to divorce. It is very unfortunate that most marriages are failing. As much as all this is happening, I am very sure no one gets into marriage expecting it to fail.

Everyone who marries believes that he or she has found their soulmate and hopes that they will stay together after being bound by the marriage vow. Actually newly married couples usually have a lot of good expectations but unfortunately life is full of uncertainties.

You can never predict what would happen since anyone can turn their back on you, and then you are left all alone not knowing what to do. With this thought in mind, I would like to talk about the major causes of divorce.

Infidelity

What is infidelity? This is having an affair outside marriage. Most people call it cheating or better still adultery. Cases of cheating are rampant nowadays. There are so many cases of spouses killing each other simply because he or she found the other one cheating. Instead of killing each other, some spouses just decide to divorce. Actually, extra-marital affairs are responsible for the breakdown of very many families. The major question we are supposed to ask here is, what causes infidelity? I will discuss two major reasons of infidelity,

Revenge for past infidelity

Believe it or not some partners find it hard to forgive their partners who cheated on them. They therefore decide to revenge by cheating also, which brings more harm than good. I think when it gets to this point, the couple should see a marriage counselor.

Feeling like the relationship is one sided

If one partner feels like he or she has less attention, underappreciated or all the financial burden is on him or her then the relationship is one sided. This might tempt him or her to find some other companion outside which is really dangerous.

Money

This is actually the big dog here. It is a fact that the money question has broken majority of marriages. Problems may arise due to careless spending habits or one partner having more money than the other. I tend to believe that most men feel threatened if their wives earn more than them. This may lead to unnecessary chaos. Another challenge is that if the woman earns more, she may feel superior leading to power struggle. The law of nature states that the man is the head of the house. This will never change no matter how learned a woman is. I think this is the reason why some men do not allow their wives to work after marrying them. Such factors should be taken into keen consideration if at all partners want to have a stable marriage. Proper planning on finances needs to be done in each family.

Constant Arguing

Couples can argue about finances, kids or their responsibilities. I have seen most couples arguing about kids. Such arguments include: who should pick the kids from school, blaming each other for the rebelliousness of one child, arguing on who should pay school fees, buy clothes for children and even blaming each other on childlessness. Both partners may be working, and so when they reach home in the evening after work, they start arguing on who should do the house chores.

The main reason as to why a couple may be constantly arguing is that one may be feeling like her opinions are being ignored and therefore he or she always comes up with the same issue. This is really dangerous to any relationship, may it be dating or marriage since one partner will get tired and give up, leading to divorce.

Lack of communication

Good communication is the foundation of quality marriage. Yelling and speaking harshly or giving each other negative comments is not right. Shouting or yelling is not good since the other partner will get offended. A soft answer turns away wrath. It is unfortunate that some couples are used to yelling at each other on very minor issues. Unhealthy methods of communication should be ditched in any relationship since this is a major cause of divorce.

Having unrealistic expectations

Life is full of disappointments. Getting into a marriage expecting your spouse to live up to the image of who they are in your mind is not advisable. Some partners expect too much from their partners in which they cannot offer.

This makes them view their partners as failures since they have not met their standards. Wrong expectations can therefore lead to divorce. You should love the person that you are seeing and not the idea of who they should be or they are going to be after marriage.

Abuse

Abuse can be physical or emotional. Physical abuse is rampant in our current world. If you talk to many young people, they usually have a story to tell about their parents who have lived fighting and beating each other. Physical abuse does not just come as the first step, it actually begins with emotional abuse where one partner, say the man, criticizes the woman on her dressing style, walking style, how she talks, her physical appearance and worse still control her every movement.

As it is known, women thrive on what they hear. This might really affect a lady. As for women, they may try to blame the men for their unhappiness, constantly check their phones for their text messages and phone calls or even accuse their husbands of cheating. All these are forms of emotional abuse.

If emotional abuse leads to physical abuse whereby the husband and wife beat each other, then that is a no go zone. This is a big cause of divorce. It is advisable that one should flee an abusive relationship or marriage so as to save yourself and your kids all the suffering which is really traumatizing.

Lack of preparation for marriage

It is usually said that marriage should not be entered into unadvisedly and without reverence. Some youths just enter marriage without any consultation thinking that it would be easy. They may actually be thinking that they are fleeing their current problems since they have found the person they love, only to realize that they are adding onto their troubles.

One should be psychologically prepared and well advised on how to stay with his or her spouse and children. Since many young people especially those in their 20’s enter into matrimony unadvisedly, they find it hard to cope with the challenges and afterwards divorce.

Lack of intimacy

Can you imagine couples living like a brother and sister? Think of a couple who neither have physical intimacy nor emotional intimacy. If you are not connected to your partner, it actually feels like you are living with a total stranger.

Intimacy is not all about sexual needs – emotional intimacy is also important whereby you connect, talk nicely to each other, surprise each other and also help each other. You should also not ignore your partners sexual needs. You need to be there to cater for their sexual needs otherwise they will start having the thoughts of infidelity which may lead to divorce.

Change In Physical Appearance

It is really surprising how the body of women changes after giving birth to children. Some men marry slim ladies who after delivering children become plump due to baby fat. Since God made people with a lot of diversities, some men marry plump ladies who reduce after delivering their babies. If love and understanding is not what governs a relationship, then the husband might start finding his wife less sexually attractive. Once he withdraws his attention from her, the problem arises there.

Some couples therefore divorce due to that, and this is really bad. As long as a girl tries to maintain her hygiene after delivery, I don’t think physical appearance should matter.

Hiding The Real Personality During Courtship

It is certainly true that a woman can hide the real her in order to catch the attention of a man. The same can also happen to a woman whereby a man hides the real him so as to marry her. This is not correct at all.

It is usually said that you should not pretend but you should be yourself and someone will love you for who you are. It is really bad that some people realize later in marriage that they married a totally different person. In worst case scenarios, a man may marry a very innocent and humble woman, educate her until she gets where she wanted to be, but unfortunately the woman may change and turn wild to a point where the husband cannot tell her anything.

Many people are just perseverant in marriage instead of enjoying their marriages – such a sad state. In such cases where partners find out that they are strangers to each other, they mostly opt to divorce.

Alcohol and Drug Abuse

Alcohol is a commonly abused drug. A combination of alcohol and other drugs is more dangerous. The problem usually comes up if the breadwinner of the house drinks irresponsibly and forgets about his responsibilities. Some men use all their salary on drinking and neglect their families, leaving the family with a lot of financial constraints. In addition to this, the level of drug abuse may get to a point where the partner no longer reports to work on time or even does not go to work because he or she spends most of his time satisfying the addictions. In other cases drug abuse may cause violence in the homes. This is another big cause of divorce.

Infertility

Apart from companionship, people get married for procreation. It is the desire of every woman to bear children. A couple may be unable to have children due to reproductive issues from either the husband or the wife. The problem with our society is that people are always fast to blame the women which is wrong. A man can also be infertile. In such situations people are told to seek medical guidance. If the partners are not patient with each other hoping that things might change, then this is another major cause of divorce.

Loneliness

This mostly occurs in long distance relationships or marriages. After marriage, it is not advisable to take your spouse for granted. If your partner lives in another country or works far, you really need to communicate a lot to cover the fact that you are in a long distance marriage. If this does not happen, partners might lose interest in each other leading to loneliness. Loneliness might trigger one’s mind into infidelity which may eventually lead to divorce.

Losing Focus Due To Roles

It is so unfortunate that most couples after getting children they put all their focus on children and forget the reason as to why they got married in the first place. They major on their children so much, forgetting that they have a spouse. As children grow up to the point where they are working, the couple is left alone and realize that they have nothing in common and have grown to be apart. This can easily lead to divorce, since there is no connection.

Disagreements And Inability To Solve Conflicts

Every couple has disagreements The only difference is how couples resolves conflicts. Decisions should not be one-sided. In some cases, a third party such as a parent, elder or pastor has to be involved so as to help the couple resolve the conflict. In this case both partners should be willing to listen, otherwise they may end up in divorce.

Divorce Attorney Free Consultation

When you need help with a divorce in Utah, please call Ascent Law at (801) 676-5506. We will help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Corporate Lawyer Herriman Utah

Wrongful Death Cases

What a Car Accident Lawyer Says

Child Support for the Unwed

Salt Lake City Contract Attorney

At What Value Should You Get a Trust For Estate Tax Purposes?

Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/why-are-divorce-rates-so-high/