#glad I was able to at least get this done
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Online/Offline [C.S] - ninety | it’s a coniferous forest there’s so much pining
San watched y/n as she slept on the couch. Yunho had long ago gone to his room to update his friend on what happened and go to sleep, but y/n had fought sleepiness like a child waiting for Santa Claus until she finally nodded off by accident. He wondered if she was just over excited from everything that had happened or if maybe she was too worried from having to be around her stalker for most of the day to be able to sleep. But she was asleep now, features relaxed and beautifully peaceful.
“Can I ask you something?” Wooyoung asked.
San motioned for him to follow him into his room where he sat on the floor next to his bed and invited Wooyoung to join him.
“I don’t want to wake her up. What is it?”
“I’m really glad that Quack messaged you when she did. Yunho and I were running over, but you were much faster than us.”
“Yeah.”
“Did you run from the café?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s a good thing you’re so athletic.”
San exhaled a laugh and nodded.
“So was it your fast feet or your love for her that carried you?” Wooyoung said and laughed quietly.
San glared at him, unimpressed.
Wooyoung laughed a bit too loud before quieting himself again.
“Please don’t say things like that in front of her.”
“Why not?”
He stared at him again.
Wooyoung shrugged. “Just tell her you like her.”
San shook his head.
“Why not? If you like her, just tell her you do.”
“What? And take the advice you gave Minsoo?”
“Who told you about that?”
“Seonghwa hyung.”
Wooyoung narrowed his eyes at San.
San smiled.
“Well, I guess you could try that way. She might find it funny.”
He exhaled a laugh. “Maybe.”
He folded his arms and leaned back against the bed, thinking. They sat in silence for a few moments while he processed what he was feeling. Wooyoung played with the hem of his sleeve as he waited for San to say something.
“I thought he was really going to hurt her, Woo.”
Wooyoung looked over at him.
“All I could imagine was… him dragging her off somewhere and…”
“Kidnapping her?”
“Yeah.” San put his face in his hands and inhaled, trying to steady his nerves.
Wooyoung inhaled and nodded. “I wouldn’t put it past him.”
When he felt more composed he pulled his hands away. “I know she said he’s already hurt her, and he has, but all I could think of as I ran towards them and he wouldn’t let go of her…”
“Was all the worst possible shit that could happen?”
San nodded.
“Yeah, I understand. But… what does that have to do with asking her out?”
He sighed. “I don’t know… I just needed to tell someone.”
“What about telling her?”
“I almost did on the way over here, but you heard her.”
“She’s surprisingly hard-headed when she puts her mind to something.”
He nodded again.
“She’s got that only child attitude… She understood how dangerous it was, though.”
San turned to him.
“I know that her brushing it off when you asked her why she didn’t tell you made it seem like she didn’t, but she really did.”
He turned away.
“San-a--”
“What would you or Yunho have done if I didn’t show up? She could have been kidnapped.”
“Try to get her away from him. I don’t know if we could have fought him like you did, but we would have stopped him from taking her anywhere. We were in a public place and Yunho is at least as tall as Byungchul is.”
San looked up at the ceiling and sighed.
“So just tell her.”
“That I like her?”
“Yeah.”
He turned to Wooyoung for a moment before looking away again. “I don’t know.”
“Why?”
“...I don’t know.”
Wooyoung watched him quietly.
“There’ll be the court case. And… I don’t know. I don’t even know if she likes me as more than a friend.”
“You can ask.”
San shook his head.
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. Maybe… maybe it’s not good to pine after people for months.”
“Or years, even.”
San turned to him.
“Mountain of Namhae.”
He sighed heavily. “What if… what if I’m no better than Byungchul?”
“We both know you’re not--”
“I’ve also been following her for forever. Probably longer than him. But I’m worse, I had the opportunity to tell her and I didn’t. I’m like a stalker.”
“Okay, it’s not like you found out who she was on purpose, San. You met her in real life by accident.”
“I don’t know.”
“San. She can’t be mad at you when she’s the one who moved here, came into the café, and then applied to work there. You were there first.”
“But I shouldn’t have kept it from her.”
“Maybe.” Wooyoung sighed. “Listen, I can’t make you do anything, but I think you should tell her.”
San nodded but didn't say anything.
“San-a, it’s just…”
Wooyoung wanted to tell San that he knew for a fact that y/n liked him, but as he opened his mouth to say it he had a sudden flash of realization: telling him would mean selling out Yeosang, and that would mean y/n couldn’t trust Yeosang with a secret. And, if Wooyoung told San what he knew, that would mean that San couldn’t trust him with a secret. And then no one would trust him ever again. He didn’t want to screw over his own friendship, definitely, and he knew Yeosang would be pissed at him if he destroyed his oldest friendship. All he could imagine was chubby-cheeked, child Yeosang, crying because he missed his best friend from before he moved… and then maybe adult Yeosang punching him in the face for the first and last time and never speaking to him again.
He sighed.
“What?” San asked.
He shook his head. “This whole situation.” He rubbed his eyes. “I really don’t think she’ll think you’re like Byungchul if you tell her you’ve been following her; it’s not like she’s an unknown streamer, her best friend is in JUPiTER, for fuck’s sake. There are tons of people who watch her streams.”
San shook his head.
“What ‘no’?”
“It’s not just that.”
“Then what else is it?”
San sighed.
previous | main cast | masterlist | next
a/n: Oh San and his many secrets of varying sizes. What do you think the other one is?
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#San#Choi San#Ateez#Ateez smau#Ateez fic#Ateez au#cafe au#streamer au#fake dating#reader fic#ᴏɴʟɪɴᴇ/ᴏғғʟɪɴᴇ
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I’m a pwASPD who used to harm animals as a kid, I don’t feel remorse for it because I just can’t. If I was able to, I would and even without remorse I wish I wouldn’t have done it because logically I shouldn’t have.
I have only mentioned this to very few people that I trust to be understanding and not hold my actions as a child against me now as an adult. I’m good with animals now, I’ve rescued small wild animals quite a few times. But I’m afraid that won’t matter to anyone if they find out how I was with animals as a child and think I shouldn’t be around animals at all.
I don’t like that I used to fit this stereotype but there’s nothing I can do except treat animals the best I can now going forward.
If no one else gets it - and I'm sure they will at least from the community here - I want you to know that I see you and I know it was symptoms and not a reflection on you. While I managed control over these urges as a child, I found myself fighting and sometimes having to entirely avoid certain animals so that I didn't engage in that behavior. It was hard. I'm glad you've learned how to avoid those urges, and I think the animals in question would forgive you if they understood the circumstances. Reminder that there are disorders that can cause animals who wouldn't otherwise act out violently to do so too. And remorse is not required for you to be doing the right thing. It wasn't this fun thing you did and don't feel bad about bc you want to continue doing it or anything - it is a symptom of your disorder and you are already are by choosing to do better. The animals you help now are aware of the good you've done for them, and that's enough, at least in my opinion./gen
Plain text below the cut:
If no one else gets it - and I'm sure they will at least from the community here - I want you to know that I see you and I know it was symptoms and not a reflection on you. While I managed control over these urges as a child, I found myself fighting and sometimes having to entirely avoid certain animals so that I didn't engage in that behavior. It was hard. I'm glad you've learned how to avoid those urges, and I think the animals in question would forgive you if they understood the circumstances. Reminder that there are disorders that can cause animals who wouldn't otherwise act out violently to do so too. And remorse is not required for you to be doing the right thing. It wasn't this fun thing you did and don't feel bad about bc you want to continue doing it or anything - it is a symptom of your disorder and you are already are by choosing to do better. The animals you help now are aware of the good you've done for them, and that's enough, at least in my opinion./gen
#tw animal injury#aspd-culture-is#aspd culture is#aspd culture#actually aspd#aspd#aspd awareness#actually antisocial#antisocial personality disorder#aspd traits#anons welcome
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side by side—
happy 10th anniversary merlin finale, you ruined my life.
#just something about them walking together ya know#:(#I wanted to do something big for the anniversary but I just ran out of time#glad I was able to at least get this done#i can’t believe it’s been an entire decade#anyway i miss them and i love them so much#gonna go cry now bye#merlin#bbc merlin#merlin and arthur#merlin anniversary#merlin 10th anniversary
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Lackadaisy Enrichment
#in our enclosures!!#video linked as source; which i'm glad to see already has a million views and is trending. That's Right#lackadaisy#WHICH i have been reading since at least '07 when i was thirteen my god b/c this animation is based on the ongoing webcomic#like does its influence show up Directly in some Discrete way i can point to in my art? not very easily probably. And Yet.#the inspiration....i wasn't able to be Regularly Only for at least another year / art done Nonprofessionally Online was novel to me#like wow ppl can make & post fanart of w/e they love huh....didn't know webcomics were a thing & i never really read that many since but.#good god the quality of Lackadaisy at its onset is like this is superb?? this person putting in all their talent and effort???#and Then you get years & years more art and i don't even know what superlatives to throw out abt its quality as it evolves. obsessed w/it..#if i see a new lackadaisy comic page i Will be acting out. obviously this animation is a delight & also stunning. and fascinating to also#juxtapose as a Translation / Interpretation of the comic in a different medium & standalone snippet of Story#and that we're not even quite there in the comic timeline; Taking Notes abt character info we get distilledly here....genuinely love like#take it back to '07 i'm like oh boy can't wait for the dream team to assemble. then a decade later when it did? Oh Boy. that is payoff lol#namely hooray for stitches and mudbug at the field office for every passing gangster. killing one marigold associate but not the other#which seems like a promising start to shootouts w/the other dream team triumvirate. i adore that in canon so far mordecai freckle & rocky#have met but only over a nice brunch. re: all intentions anyways. anyways i'm like Gifs Must Be Made while i'm also so riled afresh abt the#comic that i've been sooo hype for for over fifteen yrs now babeyyy Deservedly. i've done a couple of rereads & ought to do another....#For Interest it'd probably take a few sittings to catch up from the start but there is much to be engaged over....this ongoing story that's#historical fiction prohibition bootlegging cats with plenty of focus on characters & several Mysteries. which i'm better at parsing now lol#like one of the more recent rereads like Oh Of Course x (probably) accidentally killed his y & z took the fall & that's a binding secret...#Not [oh of course] abt the circumstances surrounding a's death & how b & c were involved. nor the ''what's marigold's damage'' mystery#which is great. love to not know things. love that we can readily follow all the emergent drama everyone's wading in nowadays. hell yeah#anyways admire my organized approach to gifs here. four shots each Expressions Atmosphere Action Groupshots#sure might've muddled through gifmaking for this anyways but fr being a huge lackadaisy comic enjoyer for now most of my life helps#and its very Overall Inspiration like. just really getting the [you can really just draw stuff out here] going. fr the art's detail & skill#and that enrichment like i'm gonna have a great time following this. And I Have#you don't expect a crowdfunded indie animation in the mix back then but hell yeah fellas#SIGH ok removing a 4th gif that's broken / not displayed despite reuploading then entirely remaking it. if it's a bug i'll try again later
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warning this might be a nothing post i'm just a little emotional & rambling but like... i think a lot about hometown showdown and gay and not proud a lot. and i understand this was in the peak of YouTube's fuckery with Dan and disrupting his plans for DINOK so i understand there's like a tension behind a lot of what was ongoing. i also realize that YouTube-- more obviously with hometown showdown-- but generally had strong business rationale for wanting Phil to feature in these videos, with Dan & Phil being the duo of HS and Phil being there in gay and not proud (sorry the acronym for this looks ugly).
but man... i think a lot about how hometown showdown was just kind of a lot of dates. i've not seen the other ones but i hear a lot that they were way more competitive versus Dan and Phil were just casually exploring their hometowns together, showing pieces of themselves to the other. i think about all the dialogue that was cut (that I think was alluded to in WDAPTEO 2?)
and i think about like. the seismic Importance of Phil being in gay and not proud as like... Dan's safe space. the same way he's remote crisis manager, the same way he was part of WAD's pre & post show, the same way he filmed that haircut video basically to promo YWGTTN and Dan is leaving me to talk about WAD. the same way that Dan got a taxi to his place after his nightmare experience at the laundromat to do laundry because "for the first time since I was a tiny child, I actually felt safe."
and after the latest mukbang it's like... it's really insane to me how their personal relationship has continued despite the pressures they've faced as being a comedic influencer duo. the fact that they work as business partners but still have this relationship. the fact that even in these YouTube originals that Dan was resentful of at the time anyway you can still glowingly see how much they love each other. like Phil being in gay and not proud wasn't a cameo, it was a fucking love confession.
i dunno. this is something that's been talked about a Lot but i do think about it frequently. i don't tend to rewatch these specials a lot because Jesus Christ the editing really gets me, but like... idk. "you're next to me in my life," or whatever. 15 years have passed and Phil's still cheerleading for Dan, from his first YouTube video to his first solo tour. i dunno.
#astra.txt#dan and phil#phan#i've said this before but that was the part of basically i'm gay that i think helped me the most personally. or at least really affected me#the idea of meeting someone who made you feel safe. and for a while i kind of thought i had that and then i reflect and i'm like...#... no i shouldn't really settle. because it IS so important.#one person accepting you CAN make all the difference. and i'm so glad Dan was able to find that person#and also obviously that Phil has Dan because Dan loves and supports Phil a lot too.#hate when i'm overly emotional about these videos because i don't want to rewatch but i am like mentally compelled to#the fact that Dan has done a lot of genuinely impressive solo work and Phil is like right there being like#guys read this book! guys go see him on tour! 45 minute masterpiece!#it's dan's birthday lets get that to trend! like UGH.
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ShinRan Week 2023: Day 4 | Black Knight and Princess
#detective conan#case closed#ran mori#shinichi kudo#shinran#shinranweek2023#my gifs#episode 190#really wanted to get at least one thing done during the actual shinran week but alas!#could have posted it while it was still shinran week in hawaii but i disliked the coloring so redid it--think i like this more now#i was drawn to this prompt because 'the desperate revival' recently got remastered! it's so nice to edit with!#and there's a lot that gets me about this...#i liked the 'intimate gestures' prompt a lot too because it makes me think a lot about the love language of physical touch#which i think is really important to shinichi! look at how much he treasures being able to embrace ran here#as himself--in his own body#(and funimation dub only but in episode 42 he even says that he wished he could have held ran in his arms...)#also different note but love how the black organization is associated with black birds and how shinichi's entrance here is black feathers#and in that last one ran really should be the one protecting shinichi haha#but yeah! glad to finally have something posted! hope to finish an amv soon!!!
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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me: MY HAIRLINE IS RECEDING OH NO OH FUCK
also me: full time student (worth noting i wrote stupid here at first without realizing), 20-30 hours in customer service every week, teaching myself 3/4 classes, teaching myself advanced algebra with a teacher (basically just a proctor) who shuts down any/all asks for help, juggling college financial woes, navigating dying relationships/people abandoning and/or attacking me bc i don't have time for things i used to anymore, none of my hobbies are making me happy when and if i have time for them,, i have no time for myself, i'm on my second all-nighter this week, i'm perpetually exhausted in a way sleep isn't fixing, my body aches because i'm so tired, and i'm barely able to stay asleep when i do get the chance bc the anxiety wakes me up
my hairline: two hops this time!
#i'm so stressed man#sehtoast rambles#sehtoast vents? fuck if i know#i just feel like i can't get ahead#i used to be able to get all my shit done by friday and have the bulk of the weekend to myself#but that's not doable at all this term#i just had a whole ass mental breakdown over fucking homework#like i'm almost grateful T made it near impossible for me to cry bc like#i was going to have a whole sobbing crying breakdown and at least i only had to feel the mental and physical anguish of it instead#it's 3am and i just made coffee so i can do the rest of my work#luckily the last two are super little in comparison but#i can't keep doing 30 pages of notes with 10 pages of homework and a 40 question 'quiz' for math#on top of making like 7 excel spreadsheets a week#not including the 50 page readings for management plus the 50 questions that follow and the writing assignments#i'm so glad my ids class is easy. dr s is my personal jesus christ for being so gentle with her students#idk i'm just... really not doin well rn#at all#idk if anyone read this far in#if you did ily and appreciate you
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not going to name names bc thats messed up but omfg i was tryna find records of old heta fandom shit to show inu right and i found a hetalia iceberg and I SAW MY 2019 OPP ON THERE. IT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY LIKE MY EYES BULGED OUT OF MY SKULL BECAUSE IM NOT EVEN JOKING I HATED THIS BITCH SO MUCH WHEN I WAS 14 AND NGL I STILL HATE HER. I DIDNT SAY NOTHING AND KEPT CURTIOUS AND NORMAL OBVIOUSLY BUT ON THE INSIDE I WANTED HER ASS DEAD EVERYDAY AND WELL... you all know im never in the loop with things and had no fucking clue that she was just the antichrist for an entire group of people lol. SHE WAS MY ANTICHRIST THO. I HATED HER AND SHE HATED ME OKAY AND IM LIKE RODF SEEING HOW SHES ON THE FUCKING HETALIA ICEBERG I WAS LIKE OMG.... I THOUGHT ONLY I FUCKING DESPISED HER
#i hated her to an unhealthy amount imma be so real#bc ive never done an internet sin of like shittalking outside of priv accs/dms#or interacting anonymously with people i hate etc etc#but there are things that are like corruptions for your own soul from how sour hatred can get#and she did that to me. and i only hated her enough to do that#i have only ever in my life actively hatestalked her blog when i was 14 bc she made me so fucking mad everyday#ive only ever in my life hatestalked her like shes the only reason i can comprehend why people are compelled to hatestalk#this was all back when i was like 14 tho lol and#ugh... im sorry. as you can tell the hatred i feel towards her is like soul corrupting level#i want to say im sure she has grown up to be a fine person and logically i know this is true#but also part of me is like there is no fucking way this bitch grew up to be a fine person like the lobotomy part of my brain is saying that#i will not tell you who she is btw so dont send me an ask begging for the user#and if for some reason you have a hunch who it is. you never know you could be wrong and even if youre not i dont condone harassment towards#her or like yknow just any association like leave her tf alone#i dont have fans who love me enough or are crazy parasocial to harass someone i personally hate/hated#but still just in case#shes not an actual bad person. i just hate her so much that it makes ME a bad person on the inside#its why im so glad that i turned 15 and went i need to stop looking at her forever or else i will reincarnate as a mosquito#ill only talk to u abt her if we are at least acquatiances with eachother#and i dont think anybody will be able to figure out who she is actually bc i never once was mean to her outside of telling my close friends#i wanted her dead. me when i dont act like a beast online despite the vietnamese devil inside me
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Summary: Caravanners from Tipa are finally coming home with a chalice full of myrrh. With their duty now fulfilled, they can allow themselves to have some rest before their next adventure —except for that one day when a young Lilty confronts them in hope of earning a place as a caravanner.
Word count: 4,486
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Year one is now complete! 🥳 There will be a summer break before Year two comes. The biggest work on it is already done though.
Also slipping the info through here too, but if you follow the story and are very good with english (native speakers more than welcome), I'm really interested in having beta readers for the next part. <3 I'm open to doodle a few things for them in return!
#ffcc#final fantasy#crystal chronicles#my scribbles#aaah i'm glad i was able to get that first step done#year two will also be seven chapters btw but they'll be longer#actually for beta readers i don't really mind if you don't follow the whole thing but you should be at least familiar with the universe? xD#i mostly want to make sure the english is good
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i got almost everything done that i wanted to today!! folded up my laundry that's been drying since thursday (whoops), put away my market stuff, packed up my shop orders, put in my ac, drew up that sticker, went to target for a few things (milk, snacks for work, bread) so i have less to get at the grocery store tomorrow, unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, made a really good quesadilla (steak, peppers n onions w tomato paste & spices, refried beans, salsa verde) called my family, washed my hair. all i have left to do (urgently) that was on my list is put away my laundry and frankly as long as i get it down to one basket that's a win (two baskets of clean laundry, one from a while ago and one from today (my old laundry basket was really fucked so i bought a new one but i accidentally ("accidentally") just started using both)). the only other thing that i wanted to do was change my sheets but that can wait for now
#i put in my ac from the outside with a step ladder so i didn't have to flail around on my bed with it at least#i had SOOO much i wanted to get done today i'm glad i was able to do it all#chatpost#i didn't order the sticker yet bc i'm going to wait to see what the tuesday sale for the week is first. maybe i can catch it
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im rereading asunder and keep having to remind myself that all these characters have french accents fml
#well. most not all. but yknow#personal#da#im only skimming tbf im working on something that has me going through Everything#hopefully i can get through it all in one go. hopefully before the stream in less than 5 hrs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#im not that excited for it actually. im keen for the dav announcement and that's it. it had better be near the start#anyway. i rewatched redemption yesterday and idk why i had in my mind that it sucked#like it's not *good* but it wasnt as bad as id made it out to be since first watching it. it's just kinda *ok*#but it was a relief after spending the last week reading through talktables. god almighty im glad im done with that#i think when i get up to dai im gonna go through it in frosty#it's gonna take probably 2-3x as long as if i read the talktable. maybe even longer. but i wont lose my mind quite so much#weirdly the dao and dai talktables are about the same length (all dlc included for both) which always really surprises me#but i didnt read the full dao talktable. only for the dlc (and awakening was a CHORE). i read everything in the toolset#and i was able to do most of da2 using those spreadsheets i made of plots and conversations a few months ago. i knew those'd come in handy#the only time ive ever been glad da2 doesnt have item descriptions#ANYWAY. back to asunder. the start is interesting but rhys goes through like. anti-character development and i hate him by the end#obv that's still character development. i just really prefer when a character becomes better or at least doesnt become frustrating to read
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There's a man vomiting loudly outside (potentially in our parking lot, but I'm deeply in an overstimulated autism thing rn and i simply cannot be arsed to get up and check)
I would normally, but there's already a man out there interrogating him and like. I'm sure he's well-intentioned, but I lost my shit at his opener of 'Hey buddy, you having a good day?'
He's being violently sick in public; i think you can assume he's not enjoying this day.
#text post#im hitting the shower in a few minutes then after letting myself have an edible (held off all day for various reasons)#then i wanna get as close to wizard high as possible and disappear into Minecraft with Housemate for the night lmao#don't get me wrong today was actually very productive for me#resumes sent out decent amt of prolific done a new fic started and some drafts worked on#plus dishes done#but like. idk. my brain is very fast and angry and tired and i don't wanna be in this headspace#and i think i just overwhelmed myself with stuff a tiny bit today bc like. i know when im at the edge of it sometimes#but it's too easy to force myself past it in the name of productivity then deal with the fallout after#as i type this i realise i also need to clean the downstairs bathroom fan and forgor#but!! i forgot to mention i was able to get a belated bday gift out to my mum! got it ordered to b shipped to her at least lol#v glad I got that done#tw emetophobia#anyway i feel terrible for this guy and hope by the time i leave the shower he's doing better
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slept for almost 12 hours so I'm gonna be real peeved if I still can't focus enough to write today 😤
#went to bed early w a headache thinking I might at least wake up early#instead slept the 4 extra hours until the time I usually get up :/#honestly tho I'm just glad I've finally been able to sleep again bc the insomnia was killing me#but yeah. hoping?? to get some stuff done today??? 🤞#tysm @ all of u for putting up with me lmao#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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I am still not over the level cap thing what do you mean level fucking 10
#rat rambles#like do they not realize how fucking pathetically low that is?#like it is So easy to get a follower to level 10 especially late game#like in every playthrough of this game Ive done I always have at least one follower whos past level 40 usually several#Im glad they didnt retroactively lower existing followers levels but it still sucks#it just makes leveling them feel kind of pointless when theyre likely going to passively max out after a certain point anyways#like genuinely I dont even understand what the point of this change is#because its not like getting broke. high level followers is much of a concern early game#and mid game is usually only a potential issue balance wise if youve been putting in a stupid amount of effort since the start#and by the time you get to the late game I. genuinely dont think it matters.#like in early late game again youll only have genuinely broken high levels if youve been going hard at leveling followers#and by the end of the late game its like ok and. let ppl be powerful cmon man.#like theres So many things they could have done to adjust the balancing that wasnt this#like if theyre concerned abt faith generation then make a cap on that or make it not a one to one level thing#if theyre concerned about demons then they could again adjust the scaling slightly or simply make it harder to level followers#they could have even used the deciple thing to help with that by having it be a prerequisite to higher levels#like maybe you could have a couple rings of inner circles with each tier unlocking another ten levels#and they could even add a lower cap at like 50 or smth just dont make it fucking 10#that might genuinely be the worst part of this update and Im not even joking when I say this just killed my motivation to play more#its one of the few things that you were able to keep working on and expanding after unlocking everything else#I genuinely really hope they change this because if not then I think Ill have to drop the game thats how bad it is to me
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