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mari-lair · 7 months

Text

Wip of A Pair Of Rings

Ship: Aoikane

Word count: 5,7K

Rated: M

Warning: Peer pressure. Expectations of an arranged marriage. Making out. Grammar errors. Unfinished scenes. Actually, i'll add 'awkwardness' to it too.

Aoi prides herself on being able to read between the lines. It only takes one conversation to see what a person hides under their smile, pinpoint if they seek riches, power, or ownership of her, but the Prince of Vapor, for as expressive as he can be, is oddly hard to read.

She can easily tell when he is displeased, be it by Aoi or by his own court, but he doesn’t seem like the controlling or quick to anger type, not with maids so eccentric. He stares far more than it would be polite to, something Aoi was used to, but the lack of worship or lust in his gaze makes her just as uncomfortable, unsure of how to protect herself when she doesn’t know what the prince wants in the first place.

She could sense his pride from a mile away, as expected of a prince, and while his lack of visible malice is good, she did not trust his friendly ��Make yourself at home” act.

…With luck he’ll keep this nice act until the wedding, then get bored of her, restraining their interactions to posing at big events and polite requests to help keep his guests entertained. Anything she does behind closed doors none of his business.

Aoi looked at the maid by her side, sensing that she was the only one not acting at the table, her behavior too sloppy for a royal servant, but useful.

“You seem stressed.” She commented when they reached her royal chambers, her gentle voice making it easy to appear like the sweet princess expected of Girasol “Is the prince too hard on you?”

“No, no. Not at all!” She straightened her back, trying hard to look professional as she opened the fancy doors. Is endearing, in a sort of pitiful way. “Your Highness Aoi is very strict, I don’t think he understands how hard it is to clean such an entire castle, but he offers plenty of rest.” Yashiro blushed, holding the door open as Aoi and Teru walked in “The maid’s room is far simpler than yours, but still very beautiful! The Aoi family has always been so kind to everyone! The kingdom flourishes under them.”

‘Nothing flourishes in this block of ice’ Aoi thought as the maid gushed about her boss, disappointed Yashiro seems to mindlessly eat up the ‘perfect royal family’ propaganda she is fed.

“It must be very different from your fairy tale kingdom,” Yashiro said, smile as innocent as her childish words “But I hope you grow to feel at home!”

“Thank you <3”

Yashiro smiled even brighter, turning to Teru “You too Sir. Minamoto! Is wonderful to have you here.”

“Thank you, miss Yashiro.” He smiled, full of sparkles “Would you be so kind as to unpack our clothes?”

“Of course!”

Aoi wasn’t surprised to see the maid stare in awe at Teru’s armor and blush as she folded his clothes, very careful with it.

She wasn’t surprised at the jealousy in her eyes when she found her chest of party dresses, letting her hand linger on the silky frills and gemstone details, no doubts judging her preference for cutesy and expensive clothes, wishing she was the one in possession of all these riches.

Aoi smiled sweetly, exasperated but used to this. If the prince values his maids enough to be buddies with them, Aoi is sure any rumors they start will spread like wildfire.

…How wonderful.

Yashiro was still careful with her dresses, that hint of envy disappearing surprisingly quickly, focusing on Aoi with a smile that didn’t feel fake “Is there anything else you need steemed guests?”

“If it isn’t too much trouble I would love to learn more about our new home <3” Aoi put a hand on her chin, using her most bubbly and innocent persona. Teru gave her a look, noticing she was putting on a show but didn’t mention, wanting to learn more about their forced new home too.

It was laughably easy to make the maid feel comfortable enough to chatter.

Yashiro gives a lot of information about nonconsequential things, from gushing about her favorite food of the castle to how pretty Aoi’s “hair loops” are, but surprisingly, there is no trash-talk, the closest to it being her complaints about Sir.Yugi sabotages her cleaning supplies and teases her when he acts so polite to the other maids.

Most of the info she gets is useless to her, the maid seems to have different tastes than her for food, and her views are too childish, even if it paint a very unprofessional and strange image of how this kingdom work. prince Akane is extremely busy, he can spend hours on his study, and he visits the town a lot, allegedly to check if everything is okay.

Fortunately, Yashiro seem to be a genuinely good person.

Unfortunately, one of the things she learned about Yashiro is that she is a hopeless romantic.

“A royal marriage,” Yashiro sighed dreamily, staring at the gemstones on Aoi’s skirt and visibly resisting the urge to touch it. “I can only imagine how beautiful your wedding dress will be.” She clapped her hands together as if praying, her genuine excitement a bit overwhelming “Only one week until the big day! Are you excited?"

"I can’t stop thinking about it!" She smiled, omitting the dread that comes every time it crosses her mind.

Yashiro squealed, eating it "Even your names match! Is like it was meant to be!”

“It’s so funny!” Aoi’s laugh came out more fake than she would have liked, “I’ve always wanted to be Aoi Aoi <3”

“It’s charming” Nene giggled, cheeks rosy “I hope my soulmate is near”

Yikes.

“Miss Yashiro?” Teru called with his charming smile, making her switch focus right away “Can you bring me more raspberry tea?”

Yashiro blushed, spluttering an agreement and only looking at Aoi when he was on the door “D-do you wish for anything, Your Highness?”

“I’m good.” Aoi smiled, pretty sure Teru was asking it for her. He does that every time he feels like she is stressed but doesn’t know how to help. He has never been very good at words, and he can’t use touch, it is scandalous for a personal guard to ever hug his princess, so tea from his siblings it was.

This habit used to annoy her at first.

Teru gave her sickening sweet drinks instead of teas for a while, overhearing a lie she told her dad when he gave her a lavish birthday cake, and not knowing her well enough to notice her exclamation that it is “so sweet, my favorite!” was as fake as her smile.

She never confronted Teru about it, liking that he cares and scared he would see her as an ‘arrogant bitch’ if she rejected his gift, so it took years for him to suspect something on his own, asking her about it with such genuine confusion, she may have been too harsh when insisting it’s ‘fine’. He changed drinks after.

There was a knock on their door.

Oh my, that was quick of Yashiro.

Aoi really didn’t want to chat about her ‘wonderful wedding’ anymore, going to bed to pretend she is sleeping.

Teru got the message, following his princess's silent orders and opening the door and blinking.

“Is thai one suitable?” Shijima’s voice made her curious.

“Yes,” Teru lit up “Thank you Miss Shijima.”

“You’re welcome~” She sing sang, “Have a good night's sleep Sir.Minamoto.”

“You as well Miss Shijima.” He closed the door, putting on the same type of fluffy hat Yugi was wearing at dinner. It looked a bit goofy.

Nene came back with the raspberry tea, but Aoi didn’t see her again, letting Teru lie she is resting and kicking the maid out.

Aoi only stared at her drink at first, soaking in the way it warmed her fingers, but the fragrance was nice, so he slowly sipped at it, genuinely enjoying the strange taste.

Teru locked their bedroom door and lay on the fancy mattress on the floor.

Aoi isn’t used to sleep in the same room as someone, trusting her guard but still hyperaware of Teru’s presence, every tiny sound, no matter how rare, from Teru’s mattress making her want to hide under the covers.

Somewhere between staring at an unfamiliar ceiling for what felt like hours, and mindlessly rubbing her finger on the soft fur of her blanket, exhaustion won.

Aoi woke up in a warm cocoon, drowning in thick blankets. She stared at her empty nightstand, the lack of flower pots to water and gentle rays of sunlight on her face soured her mood.

(She hopes her bedroom garden is being taken care.)

Aoi curled up in the covers, not wanting to get up and face the day, her bed far more inviting them this kingdom, but forcing herself to sit up anyways, rubbing her heavy eyes and glaring at the big frosted window.

…Six days until her wedding day.

“Good morning, Miss Akane,” Teru said, wearing the fluffy hat he was given, the white fur making his hair even more golden in comparison.

“Good morning.” She said, taking in his calm smile “You seem in good spirits.”

“Of course.” He chirped, his attitude too upbeat. “I plan to enjoy my stay as much as I can, have something to tell home!”

Aoi stared at his closed eyed smile, only seeing him act like this when it came to covering up his exhaustion. She looked at the five letters on his desk, resisting the urge to ask "For how long have you been awake? Did you get any rest at all?"

She knows how restless Teru can get when he’s away from his family, she has no right to ask this after dragging him here.

“There!” Something was put on her head, covering her eyes, she pushed the soft hat Teru put on her, looking up at her smiling friend with a tiny blush “You can’t be gloomy now.”

“...Minamoto.”

“It a good hat isn’t it?” Teru smiled “This could be a new beginning.”

The prince was confused to see her wearing the hat she had made fun of last night, and Aoi had to try very hard to not defend herself.

“Good morning, Your Highness.” The prince thankfully didn’t comment, nodding at the two “Sir Minamoto.”

“Good morning, Your Highness” Aoi replied just as politely.

“Do you wish to eat before the tour?” He asked “I must finish something I couldn’t last night”

“Sure.”

Aoi could not tell if he was giving her space, or if he was genuinely busy, but she appreciated having a quiet breakfast.

The bread was slightly sweet here, she would get fat if she ate too much of it, so she supposed it was good that she wasn’t very hungry, only able to get a few bites.

Aoi paused in front of a family portrait.

Usually, she would spare it a polite smile, maybe a compliment, and move along, tired of the picture-perfect life everyone poses fot, but this one made her pay attention, surprised by how… imperfect… it was. The art quality is not the problem, each line is beautiful and flawless, as it should, but the family in it wasn’t even looking at her, more focused on each other than the audience gazing at them.

A young woman with short brown hair and eyes the same shade as the prince was laughing and lightly elbowing a man with the most lovesick smile Aoi has ever seen. Prince Akane was on the queen's lap, his vest matching with his mother’s vest, he couldn’t be older than five, yelling something and pointing at the painter.

“Queen Isamu and King Yasu.” Akane’s voice startled her.

Aoi looked at him, he seemed exasperated but there was a small smile on his face. It softened his features.

“They seem like lovely parents.” She spoke on automatic, as if reading the script of ‘please admire how close our family is’ they hang on the wall and coming up with her own accordingly “Do you miss them?”

Akane gave her a strange look, as if no one had asked him this before, but that can’t be right… This is one of the most generic things to ask, one of the favorite kinds of empty conversation starters back in Girasol.

“Sometimes,” He admitted “but I got used to talking through letters.”

“And here is the baths, the pride of Vapor.” Akane opened a big double door, hot air escaping into the hallway, revealing a colossal ground tub that she recognized from her studies as a pool. It was no private lake with waterfalls, but she was pleasantly surprised this winter land has a place to comfortably swim “You can control the water temperature as well, so if you have any demands, Yashiro will be here to help you.”

“No need to be shy, your highness,” Yashiro giggled in good nature, with an aura of romance around her. The fool was clearly in lalaland, far away from reality “Go show your wife how the pool works!”

Aoi froze.

Akane visibly tensed up.

“Ha ha, don’t be silly!” Akane closed his eyes, his smile painfully strained as he shook his hand in a ‘casual’ manner. “We aren’t married yet, I hardly think that would be proper.” He pushed Aoi to the maid, oblivious to how stiff she got at the touch, disliking the effortless way he could move her “I have duties to attend to, but I trust you can show her how it works just fine Yashiro!” He practically ran away, adding “And you can let her use the bubbles!”

They watched him walk down the hall at a rushed pace until he disappeared.

“Well, that’s something,” Teru broke the silence, way closer than he had been before, ready to intervene if they had tried to force her to share the bath.

Yashiro blinked slowly, “Hum… I didn’t expect the prince to be so shy. I guess you will have to contend with me!” She smiled, her clueless energy simultaneously annoying and reassuring, like a puppy “Come on I’ll show you how it works!” She turned to Teru, blushing “I’ll show you too, but l-later… Baths are separated in Vapor.”

They are separated for the nobles in Sunflower as well, but Aoi didn’t comment.

“Thank you” Teru sends her a charming smile, making the maid blush.

Aoi resisted the urge to sigh, sending her friend a reprimanding look, well aware he likes to make people swoon when he is bored, delighted to be admired.

Teru just smiled innocently, faking to be oblivious.

After Nene explained everything from which lever to control the temperature to which button to start the bubbles, Aoi ordered her to leave, reassuring Yashiro that she was a fast learner and would no longer require her assistance.

Only after she left Aoi alone, and the door was locked, did she strip.

The warm water did wonders to improve her mood.

“I’m sorry about Yashiro,” Akane said at lunch. “She means no harm, but her behavior can be out of line," he stirred his coffee cup, "She had been scowled and will be replaced if you desire.”

Yugi seemed in a bad mood, but Aoi pretended not to notice the way he sulked, glad the prince had done something about his servant's misconduct.

So there are rules in this kingdom.

"You'll fire her?" Aoi asked.

"I was thinking of relocating her." Akane frowned. "She works hard on cleaning.”

“I will be your wife soon.” Aoi commented, tired of this polite play pretend.

“Indeed.” Akane said a bit awkwardly "And I’ll be your husband"

The implications flew over his head.

Aoi hated it so much, for as observant as Akane can be, he can also be just as infuriatingly dense.

“Yes.” She said, able to play the pretend game too “Hard to believe isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Prince Akane fumbled with his cup, a tiny hint of red on his cheeks “If I were honest,” He set his cup down, admitting easily “It feels like you’re more of a special transfer, a respectable guest, than a wife, Your Highness Akane. A future roommate if you will.” He took note of his advisor's unimpressed look and frowned, adding an awkward “With… certain differences in the contract.”

How adorable

Aoi stabbed her steak with a bit more force than it was proper “Just Your Highness is fine <3”

“Right.” He looked at her weirdly, as if able to see through her, but only in part “...Is that okay with you, Your Highness?”

To be seen as a roommate? A guest…?

What kind of question is that? Is he testing her?

“...If I were honest as well, I must admit it confuses me.” She tilted her head, batting her eyelashes innocently “Does the Aoi family not value lineage?”

The prince seemed painfully genuine in his confusion, taking a solid moment for realization to dawn on him. His eyes widened, nearly choking on his coffee, losing any semblance of regal energy “We are not having kids now!” He squawked, slamming his cup down on the table and breaking it. The abrupt destruction startled her, making Teru’s eyes narrow “That’s not why we sought a marriage!”

“You do need to worry about it, your Highness,” Shijima said, wordlessly replacing his cracked cup and filling it with coffee again, unaffected in the face of such violence. No one in his court seems to care at all, it’s odd.

“Indeed.” Yugi sounded strange, that detached kind of pity nobles use nowhere to be seen, his eyes avoiding the prince, as if he actually cared about his feelings instead of putting on a show. “...If there is ever an accident, ideally, the heir should be old enough to assume responsibilities. The sooner the better.”

“But-”

“Your Majesty had you at 17,” Yugi said firmly.

“Rumors have it she got pregnant on her wedding day.”

Seventeen? That’s even younger than Mom had been when she had Aoi. The princess held on tighter to her cup but did not allow her smile to so much as twitch.

Akane didn’t argue but he didn’t hide his discomfort well either, frowning at his coffee.

She stirred her own cup with a calm smile, feeling a twisted satisfaction at his misery, the first genuine glimpse of delight she had felt by his presence.

The confirmation she is smarter and more prepared for this marriage than the prince is delightful, but she could hardly say her mood improved, still in her husband’s kingdom, finger just waiting for a ring.

Just like firing a maid after learning they shame her behind her back, forcing their cruelty far away from her castle, didn’t change how unlovable she is under her pretty dresses, this petty kind of victory didn’t make her feel any less cold, well aware the prince still has the power here.

“Fuck-” Akane held on his new cup loosened, correcting himself “...Sorry. You bring a valid point, it would be strange to see you as a… roommate.”

Either he is a phenomenal actor, or he is foolishly honest.

“It would.” Aoi agreed, keeping a close eye on his every move and failing to sense anything that would hint at him lying.

Why is he acting like this? This can’t be the first time he heard about it. No matter the kingdom, this is one of the things that are hammered the hardest in every monarchy.

He frowned at his plate. Quiet.

Aoi took a sip of her coffee, staring at him with cold eyes as he sweated. Quiet as well.

The sound of this city of metal could be heard in the distance, so faint the servant's silverware covered most of it.

“May I have seconds?” Teru asked, breaking the tension.

“Yes, feast as you please,” Akane replied, keeping his eyes on Aoi, just as expressive as always, but somehow unreadable in his honesty. “And please follow me after dinner, I think we should talk.”

In private?

Her brain immediately provided the worst alternative, sure he would want to get this uncomfortable duty out of his to-do list quickly.

Aoi felt her stomach drop with fear, but her cute smile did not shake.

“Do we need to wait until we finish?” Teru asked.

Akane blinked, giving him a vaguely judgemental look “I am afraid I wasn’t clear. It’s a private talk between me and the princess.”

“But I want to come too.”

“A shame.” His smile was a little annoyed “Just wait a few minutes it won’t be long, Shijima can show you the-”

“You told me to make myself at home” Teru pouted, which was embarrassing, double as much as usual when Aoi realized he is trying to do good on his word and never leave her alone with the prince. “I want to go.”

Akane narrowed his eyes, more baffled than offended. Straight on his question “...Are you challenging my authority?”

“Sure!” Teru smiled, pointing a fork his way “Do you want to spar? If I lose I won’t bother you again, if I win, I’m coming too.”

Aoi paled. Teru was going into dangerous territory.

Is no good if a princess is disrespectful, but a mere noble? That’s worse.

(but she wants her only friend by her side, she’ll wants it so badly.)

“That’s not how it works.” Yugi said with a tense smile.

Teru dropped his chirpy tone, “It is how it worked in Girasol.”

Aoi's smile felt stitched to her face, far too tense. She can tell he is far too close to crossing a line.

“ Sir Minamoto. This is a different land, you can’t solve it all with duels.” Aoi chided in a light and playful tone tone, not wanting to risk having them send him back home. “I promise to share if anything fun happens <3”

Teru gave her a worried look, but he reluctantly obeyed.

Akane stared at them, his face hard to read, but a bit troubled.

Akane talked about needing time, sweating as if not wanting to have a baby now may offend Aoi.

She agreed with a smile, relieved.

Akane's own relief was much more visible.

The balcony was too cold, she can’t believe she let him drag her here.

The prince gave her his coat as if it was a natural thing to to, not even looking away from the depressing white town.

“When it gets dark, is when my city shines the brightest”

Aoi gave him a strange look, tucking his thick coact tighter around herself. What he says doesn’t make much sense, and her fingers are already numb.

“You like your city” She said instead.

“Very much” He cracked a smile. It wasn’t soft, more of a smirk than a smile, but so filled with pride and fondness. It was hard to look away.

“Look” Akane pointed down, where a house had turned on the lights.

It was a bit brighter than the candle lights in Girasol but not impressive, clearly not enough to freeze here.

Before Aoi could complain another house turned the lights on. And another, and another. Shops lights varied from red to green to yellow and blue, towers blinking like jewels and corridors full of giant lights.

It was beautiful.

“It’s so pretty…” She admitted, even if it wasn’t comforting, or familiar, it wasn’t a bad kind of alien. Like a gate into a dream.

Akane smiled, looking down with her with a softer smile.

They stared at the city light, at the shop with colorful ones and the ones that flickered as if dancing.

“We do have a garden.” Akane said while they walked back “A small one”

Aoi paused at his admission, surprised.

He nodded, no hint of shame in his voice “But I wanted to show the lights.” Akane admitted, proud “This city will be your home, like it or not. I don’t want to you hate it.”

Aoi eyes widened, sensing his honesty and having no idea what to do with it.

The altar made her feel sick, every watchful eye pressuring her to keep walking like daggers leading her to a pirate plank.

Akane only seemed to realize exactly the situation he was in after lifting her veil, staring at her in wonder, no doubt considering her beautiful, but the blush was accompanied by an unsure look.

Aoi resisted the urge to clench her fists, not needing him to get hints of how scared and uncomfortable she is now.

‘Don’t say anything. Don’t embarrass myself.’

(Say it. Ruin this wedding)

“May this union last,” The king finished “For Vapor and Sunflower prosperity!”

Akane lost his blush and his uncertain look, holding her hand and dragging her closer, making her panic. He tilted her a bit, making her turn her back to the crowd, and got close quickly.

Aoi closed her eyes in fear, surprised to feel his breath near but not actually touch.

Aoi looked at him with wide eyes.

The crowd went wild, unaware their lips didn’t connect from this position.

Akane looked at the crowd.

Ah…

Aoi felt strange, realizing just because he valued his people more than her, does not mean he sees no value in her feelings.

(Akane)

“I am just lamenting my name” Aoi half-joked “I’m Aoi Aoi now, is so silly <3”

Her smile was fake, he is pretty sure, it didn’t make her eyes soften like her real smiles did.

(like when she saw the city light up at night, or when she visited the garden at midnight)

He wasn’t very excited about this union either, for as beautiful as Aoi is, it feels like being thrown to a stranger he may want to know better, but still a stranger.

Akane wasn’t sure if she would like if he touched her shoulder for comfort, he noticed how she tenses up when they touch.

He decided not to risk it

(Aoi)

They are officially married.

Aoi looked at her shiny new ring as they headed to their bedroom. Teru tried to invite himself but was denied. Even the prince, who was way too bad at this pretend game, his discomfort plain to see, had denied him, but he did whisper something that made Teru calm down.

They looked at the fancy bedroom, it pink and white decorations barely visible on the faint candlelights and living flowers, brought from home. The sleepwear laid on the bed was too thin and transparent to truly be called anything other than a bait for undressing.

The sensual mood of the room felt suffocating, filled with expectations she doesn’t want to face.

“Is pretty big.” Akane said, staring with unease at the bed “We can make a pillow divide… or something.”

That's ridiculous, he is acting like a kid, not a ruler, but she couldn’t find it in herself to look down on him.

“Yes” She agreed, wanting to make a pillow ford and hide under the covers just as bad.

They fell into silence. Just standing there.

They didn’t do anything for a moment, but before the silence got too thick, Akane coughed, walking past everything and searching up the room. He grabbed one of the candles and started opening drawers. Aoi just stared at him, not sure what to do.

She awkwardly approached him, wanting to see what he was looking for, maybe even help him? It would beat staring at this awful room, resisting the urge to kick one of the candles in the sheets and burn the entire place down.

Akane threw something at her, startling the princess.

“You can have this one.”

Aoi blinked, looking at the bundle of thick and soft fabric with puffy sleeves in her hands, recognizing It as proper sleepwear. “I can’t stand this vest so I’ll get changed,” Akane said, heading to the attached bathroom with his own clothes. “You can change as soon as I’m done.”

“Right,” Aoi said, feeling lighter. “Don’t take long.”

He smiled, awkward “I won’t.”

Aoi threw the garments laid on her their bed out the window, and watched them drift away... Some lucky peasant might find it and sell its silk, as long as it was out of her sight forever, she doesn’t care.

With reluctance, she proceeded to check the bed next.

She know her maids are the ones that prepared the room, it's Girasol's tradition to do this nonsense every wedding, so she wouldn’t be surprised if she found a thorn hidden in the sheats, wanting her to be prickled.

…She checked every corner but couldn’t find any thorns on the bed.

She collected the roses and it petals from the bed, and did the pillow divide, finding some comfort in the monotonous task.

“Your turn,” Akane said, coming back from the bathroom with a simple long sleeved shirt and pants. There were still more roses to collect, but she nodded.

“Good morning Your Highness!” Prince Akane chirped, smiling as if his day truly got better once he saw her.

It made her feel weird, cheeks hot and heart heavy.

‘This isn’t an act.’ The realization wasn’t surprising but it still shook her soul ‘Nothing is.’

Akane is proud and genuine and kind, so lovable, anyone would be lucky to have him as a husband. She felt a tiny spark of awe, having not believed such a fairy tale like ruler existed in this corrupt world, but that warmth was drowned by something bittersweet, sure anyone with half a brain could tell he was the one stuck with her.

After you see through her pretty face, she has nothing to offer. She never went above and beyond for her people, she never even tried to fight her situation.

She is cold and empty like a marble doll. She’ll only weigh him down.

Aoi woke up a bit grumpy, looking up and widening her eyes at the fond look on the prince’s face, realizing he was looking at her with such deep fondness.

The prince blushed hard at being caught “Good morning Your Highenss.” He awkwardly got out of the bed, a bit nervous “I’m sorry it wasn’t my intention to stare, I was surprised by how cute you look-” He winced at his own words, mistaking her wide eyes for discomfort and smiling awkward “I’ll just sleep on the study today. Sorry, I'll see you later, your highness.”

He did sleep in the study the next night.

Aoi clenched her fists on the sheets, conflicted.

There was relief at being alone, having a room that’s only hers again. But also guilt, aware he wasn’t sleeping in a bed because of something as stupid as sparing her a hint of embarrassment.

(and she liked the feeling of waking up to Akane smiling so gently, happy someone as lovable as the prince also found her worth something.)

But every time they crossed paths and she tried to say “You can sleep in the bed, is okay, is your room too.” she would face those big gentle eyes and freeze, unable to do it.

(she is such a coward, she should be able to talk to her husband.)

“You said you like roses,” Akane said shyly, giving her a pot of roses.

Aoi stared, surprised he put it on a pot instead of a bouquet.

‘Thank you?’

‘Why are you doing this? We already have matching rings, there is no need to court me.’

She ended up just smiling politely. Unable to tell him she had been lying, not that big of a rose fan after getting so many suitors shower her in them.

Usually, she throws the roses away, but for some reason, she kept the flowers in a vase.

Perhaps she misses having something to water.

(Perhaps she likes it when Akane is the one to give her roses)

Aoi felt hot and light-headed, overwhelmed by the way Akane kissed her neck, lips lingering as if he never wanted to let go. Every touch, every move, was firm, but gentle, his eyes so full of love she couldn’t directly look at them.

“I love you” The warm breath on her skin gave her shivers. “I’m so lucky.”

His praises made her flinch, finding it hard to agree with them, but wanting more.

More more more more.

He slipped her frilly shirt off, carefully, almost shyly, despite the way he held her lower back, keeping contact with her corset.

(This is happening.)

Is like a dream come true, she wants this. She want him.

(She is scared.)

‘You need an heir anyway, at least it will be with someone you love. You’re lucky’

This did not make her feel better. It only reminded her this is an obligation. That’s the one duty she was given as a token wife. She can’t say no. It would be selfish to stop.

And she likes him, she likes him so much. Is okay. His touch is nice, this is fine. Great even-

he kissed her collarbone, far too close to her chest, and she pushed him away, too weak to do anything.

“Am I going too fast?” Akane asked, tucking her fringe behind her ear, watching her with those gentle eyes that made her feel all fuzzy.

“Is okay” She leaned into his touch, unable to keep eye contact but holding on to his shirt, thorn between wanting to push him far away, out of their bed, and hug him tight. Keep him by her side without offering anything. “We need an heir.”

Akane froze, climbing her and putting one hand on each side of her head, forcing her to look at him “Nonsense, I wasn’t thinking of it.” Of course he wasn’t, he never thinks. “If you don’t want, we won’t.

“But the kingdom.” She protested like an audience to her own actions. She does not care about the kingdom, be it her homeland, or this icy land “We need to-”

“The kingdom will mind its own business.” Akane cut her off, kissing her forehead “Nothing is worth your happiness.”

Aoi flushed bright red, as touched as she was frustrated.

How can he make it sound so easy? You can’t go against the king, against decades of tradition, and just decide to not continue a lineage. Is dishonorable, and everyone will hate you it’s-

“It’s okay,” Akane said, laying by her side and hugging her, his body warm and solid, like a heavy blanket “I’ll convince them. If they get too stubborn we can adopt, I am sure you’ll be an amazing mother.”

“That’s not how lineage work.” Aoi said softly, hating how hot her cheeks feel. Would she really be a good mother? She doubts it.

“It will now, If we say they’re a part of the family, they will be.” Akane insisted hugging her tighter, making her too warm, but not hurting her.

Aoi couldn’t open her mouth feeling selfish for not wanting any kids.

(And even if a part of her did, she wanted it to be theirs, she wanted to see traces of herself and her husband on their child, not someone else.

…She is so selfish, thinking of her wants even now. Truly a terrible woman.)

#Here it is str0yberries! hope you enjoy #aoikane #god i love this fic #shame it was so slowburn to write #(shout out to elise for screaming about this au with me at the time)

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the73rdpostscript · 4 months

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Tell me again about No Sleep Till JoeNicky - 7 - nice version and also tell me about aaaaahhhhhhh

(I know you know the background of this fic, but since most people don't I'm just gonna explain it.)

I'm writing a modern au where Joe develops really bad insomnia and discovers that the only way he can get some sleep is if he's sleeping...next to Nicky. He doesn't like Nicky but he REALLY needs to sleep before his big art show so they have to make it work and oh my GOSH wouldn't you know it they fall in love.

The first draft of this fic had Joe acting too rude for too long without adequate reason. I was essentially half-assing an enemies to lovers when the vibe of the story was just cutesy romcom stuff and it didn't work at all - even though I had some really fucking good scenes in there if I do say so myself.

So right now the story is being reformatted so that Joe is less of an asshole and the climax of the fic is no longer the two of them being vulnerable and apologizing to each other at a sleep clinic.

So since the sleep clinic climax isn't happening I'm gonna just share it here. It's a very long section but I really like what I had.

So....enjoy a massive amount of writing that is now totally irrelevant!

“I need to sleep! I want to sleep! And ideally I would be able to do that away from you!” Joe shouts.

As soon as the words leave his mouth, he wishes he could take them back. Across from him, Nicky has gone completely still - mouth pinched shut and eyes shifting from hurt to distant so quickly Joe would miss it if he hadn’t spent the last week looking into those same eyes every morning and every night.

“Then it seems we have no more need to keep up the charade, as you called it.” Nicky says quietly. He might as well be sitting in an office meeting with strangers.

“Nicky, I’m sorry. I didn’t-”

“I’d like you to leave now.” Joe thought he had heard the worst of Nicky’s coldness during the first fight they ever had. The ice in Nicky’s voice now would have shredded him that first day. It’s all he can do to look at Nicky long enough to nod and turn away.

He walks home, even though his hands are shaking and his legs feel weak. The cold air is an unpleasant sensation and he thinks he might be in trouble if it’s still better than the feeling he has after that fight.

When he gets home he walks past Nicky's shortbread and eats leftover takeout that smells questionable at best.

Maybe there was something to his false bravado about not needing Nicky, because after an hour of crying to himself he falls asleep on his couch, alone.

The next day he can barely get any work done, and the Nicky painting sits in the corner, staring at him as he struggles with the other canvas – the one he was so close to finishing yesterday.

Around dinnertime, Quynh sends him an email with the options for an appointment at the sleep clinic – detailing the merits of the place, and asking for a response when he’s able. When they’re able actually. Nicky is the other recipient of the email, and though he hasn’t responded with his availability yet, Joe knows he’s seen it.

Nicky is always checking his phone – Joe’s seen him do it so many times he could paint the gesture from every angle. He would want to do one from just behind, and capture the privacy of the moment from over Nicky’s shoulder, highlighting the angle of his nose as the screen lights it up, and the clench of his jaw that he never seems to notice. Maybe Nicky would sleep better if he looked at his phone less.

The email stares up at him from his phone, and Quynh’s impatience is clear in every perfectly chosen word. There are implications there: Quynh and Nicky have spoken since last night, or Andy and Nicky. Maybe Nicky didn’t say anything and Quynh saw his mood at lunch. She’s been suspiciously quiet towards Joe since this whole thing started and it hasn’t escaped Joe’s notice that Andy introduced her to Joe after she was already friends with Nicky.

Joe’s pulse spikes at the idea of losing Quynh or Andy over this. But then he remembers the time that Booker almost hit Joe outside the nightclub, and the time that Andy disappeared for a week in the middle of her own wedding preparations. Joe doesn’t make friends with people who would turns him away over a single fight. Even if he feels like he might deserve it right now.

None of this matters in the moment, however. Joe had asked for a solution to his sleep problem that doesn’t include Nicky, and that’s what’s being offered.

With a sigh, he sends back his availability, and he only barely resists throwing his phone when Nicky responds less than a minute later with his own confirmation of a date that will work.

Before he can stop himself, Joe opens a text message to Nicky, and he gets halfway through his first sentence before he realizes that he doesn’t know what he could say that would even start to address everything that’s happened so far.

Instead he shuts his phone and pulls out an old canvas he once left half finished out of sheer annoyance. He paints until the sun comes up, and then he paints some more.

The sleep clinic is small. Joe only sees two assistants and one clinician. The assistants have Joe fill out forms when he arrives, perched awkwardly on a plastic chair next to Nicky.

Between the staff’s polite and distant demeanor, and Nicky’s stoic compliance, Joe feels like he’s alone in the room. It isn’t until they’re asked to detail what’s been going on that he feels a semblance of normalcy.

“So that’s why we’re here to see you,” Joe finishes, having taken point on explaining the situation.

The clinician behind the desk looks at Nicky. “Anything to add?”

Nicky shrugs, “Joe covered it all more or less accurately. I have been struggling with sleep for longer than him, but sleeping beside him has let me sleep regularly and more easily.”

“How much longer have you had trouble sleeping?” The clinician asks, looking down at Nicky’s chart.

Joe watches the lines of Nicky’s shoulder lift – tension clear in his jaw, “I don’t think that’s relevant.”

The clinician responds coolly, “I can’t help you without the proper background information.”

Glancing at Joe, Nicky lets out a sigh, “I stopped sleeping well in my late teenage years.”

Joe tries not to visibly respond, but he can feel his mouth drop open. Beside him, Nicky seems to tense more - as if he can sense Joe’s reaction.

“Any idea what caused the change?”

“I don’t think Nicky needs to share that,” Joe says, speaking before he thinks about it. The idea of Nicky being asked to tell a strangers details that he hasn’t even been able to tell Joe after a week of sleeping in the same bed feels inappropriate at best. This was not a part of his plans to get some sleep.

If Nicky has anything to say about the interruption, he doesn’t get the chance as the clinician addresses Joe, “We are not mind readers Mr. Al-Kaysani. We can’t tell you what is going on with you if we don’t have context for the things you’re experiencing.”

“That may be true, but Nicky didn’t want to share any of this with me before, and I don’t-“

“Nothing changed,” Nicky interrupts Joe with all the calm that Joe can’t feel, “I could not even guess why I stopped sleeping. I’m sorry if that hinders any part of this study.” Something in his voice sounds off, but the clinician doesn’t seem to notice as she nods.

“Okay. Well thank you for telling us what you could. I can’t promise any results tonight, but we will do our best with what we get.”

As the woman rises from her chair, Joe turns to look at Nicky. The other man is gathering his coat and his bag – avoiding Joe’s eyes.

It’s all Joe can do not to grab him and ask him if he still wants to do this at all.

When they’re led into a room with two twin beds, Nicky still isn’t looking at Joe.

They were directed to put on their own sleepwear before they came in, and Joe notices that the shirt Nicky picked is different than the worn out ones he usually wears to bed. Joe himself is wearing sweatpants that he normally works out in, and he isn’t even close to feeling relaxed as they get into their respective beds.

The woman speaks over the intercom to them, instructing them to try and sleep but not to feel pressure. They have time, according to her.

For a few minutes, Joe and Nicky lay in silence.

“Quynh didn’t come,” Joe observes at last, “I thought she might.”

“Her meeting ran late,” Nicky responds, voice stiff.

And with that, they return to silence.

Another few minutes pass by, and Joe knows they can’t have been there long, but he’s distinctly aware of how slow time is moving based on how loud Nicky’s breathing feels – uneven and overwhelming over the distance between them.

“I’m sorry,” Joe says, suddenly.

In the silence, Nicky’s breathing has changed, “Scusi?”

“I’m sorry that they asked you about your past, and that you have to be here at all. This wasn’t where I thought we’d end up.”

For a long time they lay in silence.

“Where did you think we’d end up?” Nicky asks.

Joe opens and closes his mouth several times before Nicky shifts in his bed and says, “We should try counting down again.” The lights of the room are dim but not completely dark and Joe can see Nicky laying stiffly under the sheets – looking as uncomfortable as Joe feels.

“Alright. 10, 9, 8,”

Nicky joins him on 7, and this time Joe is still awake when he gets to 1, so he hears Nicky’s voice slow down and drop off during the countdown. For a moment the only sound in the room is the unnatural hum of a different air system, and the steady inhaling and exhaling of Nicky’s sleep.

The clinician wakes Joe up, and after a moment of feeling disoriented, he looks over at where Nicky is already sitting up – waiting for one of the assistants to finish pulling the sensors off his face.

“Did you find anything?” Joe asks the clinician, not bothering to let her say anything before he sits up and reaches to help her pull the sensors off.

She catches his hands and tells him to be patient and to relax a moment, but he only lowers his hands and asks, “Did you get what you needed?”

“We got what we needed, but I’m afraid you’re going to be disappointed with what we discovered.”

Joe can’t see Nicky’s face but he can feel the tension radiating off of him.

The clinician steps back to more clearly address them both as she says, “We’ve confirmed that there’s nothing unusual about your physical readings when you sleep beside each other. There’s nothing specific going on biologically that we can point to right now.”

Joe wants to scream. “What does that mean?”

For the first time all night, the woman looks a little soft as she addresses him, “It means I don’t have any answers for you, Mr. Al-Kaysani.”

"So why cant I sleep without him?" He can’t stop himself from asking.

The woman gives him a patient look as she responds, "It could be any number of things. External or internal. Rhythms of your apartment, lack of sound, a pet, nightmares, anxiety-"

Joe doesn’t know why, but the very word makes him choke. “Are you saying that being without Nicky gives me anxiety?" Before he finishes the question he’s looking over at Nicky, and Nicky turns to look back. His face is intense and his gaze unwavering. It’s the expression he made the night that they talked about his nightmares – scared and determined and so unbelievably vulnerable that it makes Joe choke on the last word. Something in Nicky’s jaw ticks, and Joe wonders about it for a moment before Nicky speaks and the moment dissipates.

"Impossible. Anyone who feels anxiety when I'm gone has never lost an argument about something as stupid as whether or not [team] will make it to [tournament]."

Joe crushes the urge to argue and takes the offering for what it is, turning to the doctor and asking, "Do you see what I have to put up with?"

The doctor hums and looks down at her chart, "if you don't have any more questions, I'll let you both go. We have all we need for now and you'll get results in your email within a few days."

They leave the lab in relative silence, and as they step out of the doors, Joe asks, “Will you come back to my place?”

Nicky looks startled at the question, and Joe remembers just as suddenly what day it is.

“Oh. Right, you have that thing.”

After a brief look of confusion, Nicky’s expression turns to something that might be either frustrated or fond, “That’s not tonight. I’d be happy to come back to your place.”

The radio keeps them company on the drive back to Joe’s apartment, and it isn’t until they get inside that Joe thinks to ask, “Did you cancel your mystery guests?”

“I did,” Nicky says, sounding tired. For a moment, they stand in the hallway together – Joe leaning against the wall and Nicky with his hands on his hips. They must paint a rather sad picture – half in and half out, of both the apartment and this peace that could be something deeper if they let it. If Joe let it, maybe.

“I’m sorry.”

“So you said,” Nicky replies, one corner of his mouth lifting, “Show me where your kitchen is. I think we both could use something to eat.”

Once Joe’s gotten Nicky acquainted with the space and convinced him to keep the cooking simple, he settles himself the counter he thinks will be least in the way.

“You know don’t have to cook for me. I wouldn’t exactly want to feed me right now after everything.”

“That is why it’s good that you don’t make decisions for me,” Nicky says, digging around in the fridge, “You could do something for me though.”

“What?”

Standing up straight, Nicky turns to meet Joe’s eyes. “Tell me what this has all been about.”

#god i love this fic #mine #raedear #ask

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