#god fucking bless. amen etc

[macomico]

that set had me in a grip since it was leaked i wont fucking lie

[steddielations]

So, this just hit me. Bear with me, please. We all know that Steve took Nancy's virginity, right? Right. It was kind of a huge thing. Anyways, I'm here to argue some things, starting with that Nancy and Jonathan wouldn't have gotten together if not for Steve, since if Steve hadn't had Nancy and Barb over Jonathan wouldn't have photographed Barb and he and Nancy wouldn't have teamed up and bonded. It also pretty much guaranteed that Nancy took Jonathan's virginity. Because, and I love Jonathan, but he's a loser-loner who definitely wasn't getting any before Nancy. It's also due to Steve that Nancy and Robin met. If we head into headcanon territory, Nancy is definitely also Robin's first - small-town lesbians got it hard 😔. And if we add Steddie to it! Then, depending on your headcanon, Steve could very well be Eddie's first. I know some like to think Eddie has had previous hookups either in or outside of Hawkins, but I'm not among them - in my mind, he's untouched and so pent-up with sexual frustration he's vibrating worse than a chihuahua on washing machine. No, I haven't forgotten the handkerchief, but it's fully possible to figure out what you like without a partner. So, my conclusion is thusly: Steve is, in one way or another, the reason all of these characters lost their v-cards. All hail the king, God bless and amen etc. etc.

(I didn't include Argyle because he absolutely fucked before meeting Jonathan. And that is a FACT.)

Listen, I’m a Virgin!Eddie / Inexperienced!Eddie truther all the way you have found your people. Maybe he’s flagging bc he likes the attention with the right crowd (that’s such an Eddie thing to do) or maybe he doesn’t know what he wants / likes yet. Also in one of the hellfire club pics, he’s wearing the hanky in the opposite pocket so who knows what this boy has going on, if it’s even intentional or not. Also yes about the pent up frustration, all it takes is Steve looking at him to get Eddie going lmao

[majorbaby]

u know, u dont have to answer this but u keep mentioning a sidney post you made that you're not satisfied with bc u wrote it much earlier in ur mash analysis, and i have to wonder what you'd say about him now, as a character, as a narrative device, etc?

Sidney is so much a tool for storytelling that I would liken him to punctuation. He exists to draw out the inner thoughts, fears and desires of our more three-dimensional characters, most notably Hawkeye but also Margaret, Klinger, Charles and the patients he treats on the show. Their psychoses are so often based in their fears, their denial, their disbelief, their unwillingness to take personal responsibility for their circumstances – which is not usually how real mental illnesses work, but still makes for good television. 

I’ve also used to term “Sidney ex machina” to describe his function:

Deus ex machina; plural: dei ex machina; English "god from the machine" is a plot device whereby a seemingly unsolvable problem in a story is suddenly or abruptly resolved by an unexpected and unlikely occurrence.

The 4077th will hit a wall with a patient (sometimes the patient is Hawkeye) that they cannot overcome, because they’re experiencing an illness of the mind and they don’t specialize in that type of illness - although you could make an argument for Hawkeye “therapizing” his friends (Margaret in Images, Radar in Hepatitis, BJ in Period of Adjustment) but he’s still not trained. When this happens, someone will go “get Sidney on the line” and every time without fail, Sidney successfully fixes the problem. This wouldn’t land so well if he was a recurring character on the show. 

Hawkeye is so in touch with the inner workings of his own mind and heart I wouldn’t necessarily put it past him to be able to monologue his way through his problems, coming to the solutions on his own (maybe with the exception of GFA or Bless you Hawkeye) but you still get the sense that he already knows the answer, he just needs someone to help draw it out of him. That’s Sidney’s role. He’s really just there for Hawkeye’s voice to have something to bounce off of so it becomes audible to himself and us, the audience. 

There’s one brief exception to Sidney being used this way and lol, it’s no surprise to me its in the Written-by-Alan-Alda Dear Sigmund. Alda’s episodes do tend to deal more with character drama, and I imagine he couldn’t resist taking a stab at Sidney. We learn that Sidney’s struggling with the loss of a patient – but only after Hawkeye and BJ read his private letters, really his journal, which is rude as fuck btw, but to me unintentionally emphasizes how much of a barrier there is between the audience and Sidney’s thoughts/feelings/fears/desires. But I can’t think of any other occasion where we get to see what’s beneath his calm, cool, professional exterior. 

There’s other times I was curious about that.. In War of Nerves he’s supposed to be at the 4077th as a patient, but he leaves the mess tent because he has a head injury that no one is considerate of, and he ends up treating people when he’s the one who’s supposed to be recovering. 

If you choose to see Hawkeye as getting progressively worse as the war wears on him (and idk if I do personally because the show is so episodic but that’s another post) then I have to wonder what it feels like for Sidney to have to keep treating him, especially in Goodbye Farewell Amen, where we finally see a crack in Sidney’s normally neutral expression, his consummate professionalism, as Hawkeye comes clean about what really happened on the bus. Like… they’re friends, it’s already ethically questionable to have Sidney treat him, and then we see exactly why that shouldn’t happen when Hawkeye is understandably upset that Sidney has decided to send him back to the 4077th. There is a moment of forgiveness and gratitude that passes between them in Sidney’s final scene in the series when Hawkeye thanks him, not insignificantly while he (Hawkeye) is performing surgery (to me it feels like a nice callback to OR), which he’d previously wondered aloud to Sidney whether or not he’d ever be able to return to. 

And here I am again saying that “flat” characters, of which Sidney is MASH’s best example, aren’t poorly written when they’re fulfilling their intended purpose, which Sidney does very well almost every time we see him. He’s so good at his job that it even feels weird for me to talk about his thoughts and feelings in fic, I want to get him in there, have him draw out the interiority of whichever character he’s in conversation with and then be like “glad we had this chat, peace” and actually that is how I see him being used pretty regularly in fic. 

Btw this is the Sidney post that gets on my nerves, not because I disagree now with what I said… actually that post is just this post stated too simply for my liking and it got way more traction than I ever imagined it would, so obviously it appeals to something that people feel, but I didn’t state what it was. It’s so vague it reads like a fandom in-joke. So thank you for giving me the push to show my work. 

[honeyhotteoks]

Hello Chai!!

I need to say this every time, but I appreciate v much how much time and care and energy you put into your writing. It never goes unnoticed. 

I LOVED ch.8. It was most definitely a fantastic smutfest, but I also wanted to say that this chapter felt exciting to me in so many other ways too.

1. This chapter was chock full of moments where we really got to see woosanhwa's individual thought processes – preferences (sexually and otherwise), insights into how they show care, how they all feel about each other and how they feel about mc being amidst the dynamic. Etc etc etc. All those details were expressed so seamlessly and made the characters so fun to read. 

1b. A sub-point re characterisation: the individual differences between woo, san and hwa made the smut SO interesting. The comfort of woo, the playful teasing of Mr. I-want-you-to-beg-for-me hwa… and then san! You see that initially he's caught off guard seeing mc suddenly involved in the unit, and as a result his approach to sex with mc feels much slower – slightly cautious even. He’s lasered in on care rather than pleasure, in a way that feels much more serious than the way woohwa approach looking after mc. Also stark contrast to how he’s just so consumed by NEED for hwa, fucking throwing him around like a paper doll with his big buff Sannie arms lmao. Anyway, the differences in the way they handle mc are really nice. It varies the pace, creates opportunities for you to see all the characters from different, nuanced angles.

Also, a question as a follow-on from the observation of san seeming more reserved with mc: he's obviously so so caring and wanting to make mc feel good and safe, ofc, but he seemed like he didn't want to cross a certain line of intimacy with her? When san used the toy rather than giving his own knot, that sort of confirmed that to me. That's not me reading san as distant towards mc in any way, but instead I think the way you wrote San here reflected (or maybe I'm projecting) my own headcanon of san being a loving and caring guy to everyone equally, but only ever giving himself fully to those he loves loves. Was that your intention with san? Either way, that's how I read him and it rang right for me!

2. The stuff about the reality of being an omega: the looks they get. Not feeling safe with alphas out and about in the big wide world. The reality that these certain alphas only back off if they think an omega is "taken". As a WoC in a MaN's WoRlD, it just felt really real. It's fucking sad, but I'm insanely in love with how you're consistently making parallels with the real world in this fic, and I really appreciate that that conversation was in there.

3. Okay so the line 'even in the easiest relationships, things are hard' was so perfect for summing up the absolute idiotic lovesick mess everyone's in. Because even though this chapter is most definitely fun™, when the theme of "complicated relationships" started emerging - when sanhwa's story started coming into the picture, woo not wanting to get caught between them (what's his deal anyway..? He seems suspiciously easy going about it all👀), and then that last line about mc thinking that when it comes to yungi maybe she just needs to learn to dance around it like san – god, i nearly wept. I really like this subtle shadow you've added to what on the surface essentially is meant to be a light chapter. It makes the chapter really rich and full and I loved it so so much. 

Literally, to the anon who called your fics literature - AMEN.

☁️ anon xx

omg ☁️ bless you for your long reviews i love how thoughtful you are 😭

to answer your observations / questions:

thank you for noticing those differences in woosanhwa's approach and liking it!! you're absolutely spot on about san too, and i really was trying to write that intentionally and i was hoping people picked up on it. he never knots reader himself, and i wanted to make sure i spelled out that he was happy to be involved and help, but he's not going to cross that line. you're right too, that's both for himself because he's not going to give himself over like that, but it's also for the MC. she was deep in heat when he came over and he's not going to just assume consent here for something like that. i wanted to make sure that that contrasted heavily with how he is with seonghwa, someone he's already crossed those lines with and where consent is fully assumed and understood and somewhere where his emotions are already well established. anyways i really appreciate you reading it that way, i meant it that way!!

THANK YOU!!!! I've been reading omegaverse for years and it's literally impossible for me to not see very obvious parallels with how real life is. omegas are marginalized heavily and treated like a commodity, and while there are safe spaces for them, unfortunately very few places are 100% safe for marginalized folks. it's really important for me to have that inform the story here, otherwise i think what makes our boys good alphas is a little lost in the sauce.

what's woo's deal........ honestly i've always read wooyoung as someone who gives his 110% authentic self to everyone, but not everyone wants to receive it. so despite his positivity and chill attitude, he's seen some shit and been treated poorly in the past. that will come up a bit later as i reveal a bit more of his character, but i think ultimately he's protective of both seonghwa AND san but at the same time they're protective over him. it just leaves us in a pool of emotional soup and even though they all talk like they know their shit, they're just as confused and relationship fucked as y/n is.

thank you as ALWAYS for your lovely reviews!!

[conwaytiddy]

adam x ace 🤭

who is the more dominant one? the more submissive? god, ace is more dominant. it shouldn't surprise anyone, but ace is the one constantly in control, and that's the way that she feels the most comfortable, and to be honest, that's the way that adam feels the most relaxed. just tell him what to do, ma'am, and he'll do it. he's the definition of a service top.

who is more vocal? is one a “screamer”? has the other ever had to cover their mouths during? ace talks a lot during. neither are particularly screamers because they're not psychopaths, they both have children and they're not trying to cause a walk-in when they're getting busy, but there have been times where ace has covered adam's mouth during something because she thought she heard a child moving and panicked. otherwise, no. ace talks a lot. adam is a moany moaner. amen.

how do they feel about public intimacy, on all levels? what levels of pda is acceptable? would/have they had sex in public places before? they are very much not PDA lmao. they weren't any displays of affection for the longest time, actually. adam was very patient with her and waited months upon months to actually sleep with her. soft moments of intimacy are incredibly hard for ace to stomach, and doing that in front of people? oof. she talks a big game, but she's one soft bitch and wants no attention on her like that, not for real. adam's just always along for the ride, no matter what.

is one member of the relationship more sexually driven? if so, who?  perhaps oddly, adam despite ace being vocal about being a dominant person in the past. adam's a very controlled sexually driven, like i said, to the point he waited fucking months until she was completely ready to sleep with him. but adam likes sex. adam enjoys sex. ace does, too, esp with adam, but she has such a warped relationship with sex that it gets kinda screwy often enough.

who tends to initiate sex? ace. adam is not an initiator lmao. he tried it once and embarrassed himself. he wasn't even rejected. he just got embarrassed and couldn't do it. he's so incredibly used to ace being the one in control that anything else felt a Little Bit Wrong.

who made the first move? ace. it started off as a joke, honestly, and then he wound up hurting her feelings like a dumbass and she hated him for a minute so he never would've thought about making up for it and getting with her in any regard. he's moved consistently on ace's pace and god bless him, because it's been a bumpy ride.

what’s the kinkiest thing your ship has done as a couple? nothing too crazy, some bondage and things like that. ace has used adam's belt on him before, choked him with it, etc., but nothing too crazy.

what are some mutual kinks that they share? size difference, lmao. light bondage. face sitting.

is there anything they’ve tried as a couple that they didn’t like? not yet. like i said, adam's not really one to push, and ace knows what ace likes. and adam likes what ace likes. which could eventually cause a problem, god knows, because it's bound to happen where they do something she likes and he doesn't, but they haven't reached that level just yet.

does anyone in the relationship have any genital piercings? does anyone want to have some? if so, what? ace has a triangle piercing.

how often do they have sex or perform any sexual acts on one another? several times a week. they're not crazy with it, even though they both admit that they could be, but jesus fucking christ, they're tired and sometimes they just want to lay down and take a nap together or watch something completely ignorant and gory to take their mind off the reality of the world. but they are Active.

how long did they wait to have sex after knowing each other? months. i wanna say more than six after they fell back together, but closer to a year in terms of how long they've actually known and talked to one another.

does one prefer to give oral? receive it? ace loves giving oral, but adam LOVES giving oral. that man is ready to die via face sitting. he's ready to go out doing what he loves and what he does best.

when they’re away from one another, do they still find ways to be intimate? if so, how? is it video chats, sexting, etc.? god, not really. adam is an anxious millennial, he's terrified of his nudes getting leaked and ace understands that fear completely. they'll tease each other and things of that nature verbally, more often than not, but they're not the phone sex/video chat sex kinda couple. what if someone is watching, man.

how do they feel about the idea of bringing another person into it, even just for fun? are they a couple who can share? is there any desire for polyamory? it's a no for them, captain. and it's not because anxiety or insecurities or anything, it's just matters of trust and both of them struggle quite hard with trusting people to that extent, especially when it comes to involving in their relationship that had a rocky foundation to begin with. could they be polyamorous? maybe. would they be? more than likely, no. that's even more stress than a relationship with one person, ok.

how do they feel about toys in the bedroom? do they use them? are there some they’ve expressed an interest in using? they're friendly with toys, ngl. adam is the least insecure person in the world when it comes to that, and he's more than willing to use a vibrator or a dildo or whatever he feels the need to use to make sure ace gets off in the most satisfying way possible. ace feels very much the Same.

are they sexually satisfied with one another? yes. just yes. and i didn't think i could ever say that for ace again, because she's gone through so much shit that it's kinda sullied sex for her in general, but she's thoroughly satisfied and adam is just Thrilled he gets his peepee touched.

[whiskey-bumblebee]

the passion

Pairing: Matt Murdock/Reader

Word Count: 2139

Warnings: Matt cosplays Jesus because he’s catholic or something, blasphemy, NSFW, impact play (flogging, draws blood), blood, use of wartenberg wheel (not puncturing skin), PIV sex, female reader, no description of birth control, aftercare, bondage (specifically on a cross with cuffs), slight suspension, sub!matt, religious masochism, sadist!reader, minor consumption of alcohol by matt (not to the point of impairment), this is fucked up and dark thematically but nobody dies or is hurt

A/N: I’ve had this idea for so long and I’m so happy to finally write it down! There are going to be some minor inaccuracies compared to the actual crucifixion (e.g. Matt won’t die or be punctured, he drinks wine instead of posca, etc). I am aware of these deviations and they exist for ~stylistic~ reasons. 

“Confiteor Deo omnipotenti, sum ut peccare, mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. Ideo precor beatam Mariam semper virginem, omnes Angelos et Sanctos, et vos, fratres, orare pro me ad Dominum Deum nostrum.”

(I confess to almighty God, that I am about to sin, through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault; therefore I ask blessed Mary ever-Virgin, all the Angels and Saints, and you, my brothers, to pray for me to the Lord our God.)

Matt clutched the deep red rosary, rolling the beads between his fingers as he recited the Latin. There was no prayer in the Catholic Church for sin about to happen, so he had to modify the Confiteor somewhat. Between him and God, he’d also shortened it. You might chide him if you knew, but thankfully you were unfamiliar enough not to notice. He was too nervous, too excited for what awaited to let the extra verses pass his lips. God would forgive him. Or He wouldn’t. In the face of what was about to happen, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Amen.” You said, noticing that Matt had fallen into silence as he knelt at the foot of the bed. 

“Amen.” Matt echoed.

Behind him was the small velvet footrest. Atop it, a glass of wine filled less than an eighth of the way. A wendenberg wheel, small and with points around the edge, blunt enough that they wouldn’t draw blood. A flogger. Four nails. 

You felt a shiver up your spine as you looked at the nails. Thank god they were just for the ambience, the scent of iron heavy in the air for Matt, the visual aid for you. You couldn’t imagine driving them through Matt’s palms. Even the thought made you want to take his hands in your own and kiss them. The safe word today, Judas, was as much for you as it was for him. You weren’t sure if you could stomach administering the suffering he had asked you to put him through.

“Are you ready?”

Matt nodded.

“Verbally, today. And the safe word.”

“Yes, I’m ready. And the safe word is Judas.”

“I’m going to try not to break scene because you asked me not to, but I’ll touch you gently to check in, okay? And remember that you can move your wrists towards each other to disengage the cuffs.”

“Yes,” Matt said, dragging out the ‘s’ slightly. He was already hard, you noticed as he turned around, walking to the wall where you’d installed the crossbar.

You stripped him unceremoniously, taking these moments to breathe and prepare yourself to bind him, flog him. The clothes fell in a heavy pile, smelling slightly of Matt’s sweat and cologne. He was left in nothing but his cross necklace. It was about to become almost ironic, the symbol reflected in miniature and life size. 

“Kneel.”

His reaction seemed so immediate that it almost preceded your command. He knew the story all too well. Stripped, flogged, the wine, the crucifixion, the death, the burial, the resurrection. He could recount the order in his sleep, although he wasn’t entirely sure when he realized he wanted to go through it himself. Certainly after he met you. He couldn’t imagine feeling safe enough with anyone else.

“It will be eighteen strikes altogether. Six, six, and six.”

Matt was silent. You knew this was part of what he wanted. He was entering a meditative space, reflecting on the sacrifice, wanting to fully experience the pain, the Passion. The two of you had agreed on all of the components ahead of time. You took in the wide expanse of his back, muscles tensing and relaxing as he settled into the position, anticipating the impact.

You drew a deep breath, and saw Matt’s back round as he did the same, and brought the flogger down on his back. Again, again, again. There was a small sound of suction as Matt brought his bottom lip between his teeth. He exhaled as you brought the flogger down twice more. His skin reddened, raising in lines where the braided leather had made contact. 

Wanting to avoid hitting the same area over and over again, you walked to his other side. Small mercies, you told yourself. You loved him and didn’t want him to hurt too badly. Although the strained sound of his withheld groans was having an effect on you...

Pressing the guilt to the back of your mind, you swung the flogger six times in quick succession, striking a higher part of his back, across and between his shoulderblades. The figure-8 pattern you made with your wrist meant less pressure on his skin, but a more continuous sting. 

He let out a soft ‘ah’ sound, his lips falling apart for a moment as he rocked forward as your last blow landed.

“Make the last six hurt,” He whispered. “Break the skin.”

“Okay,” You whispered, lifting your arm up and back. 

Letting considerably more of your strength carry the flogger down, the toy made a loud sound on impact. Matt arched away from it, but stayed silent. He nodded.

You hit him again, again, again. As you raised your hand, you noticed small beads of blood beading along thin abrasions on Matt’s back. Biting your lip, you moved your hand slightly further down again, ensuring you’d miss the area that was starting to bleed slightly. The last two strikes were swift, but no lighter.

Matt sighed loudly and stood, walking to the wall. He felt for the crossbar and raised his hands in line with it, waiting for you to fix the cuffs to his wrists. With his back to the wall, he had to arch slightly, wincing as his freshly-wounded back made contact with the surface. 

While planning this out, you’d opted not to purchase a whole BDSM cross setup, thanks to the relatively small size of your shared apartment, and instead opted to mount a wide plank with two metal loops on either side, each of which could support a single unlined cuff. This had the added bonus that Matt could stand on the ground most of the time, but allow his arms to hold his weight temporarily if he weakened. Additionally, you had custom measured the plank to Matt’s wingspan, meaning it was perfectly designed to accommodate his outstretched arms. The afternoon you’d measured it had been fun, full of tension as your lips were inches from his while you took measurements. 

You finished adjusting the cuffs around both his wrists, and double-checked that he could comfortably stand with his feet flat on the floor. Taking a step back to admire the man stretched out before you, you couldn’t help but smile at his body, at your mercy like this. It was a beautiful body too. Your eyes caught sight of the small cross that lay flat on his chest, hanging perfectly below his collarbones. 

“I thirst.” He breathed.

You reached down for the glass of red wine, and walked silently back to Matt’s side. With his senses being what they were, he could smell the glass, even hear its resonance as the air moved against it, given the silence of the room. 

“Take of your blood.”

His lips parted and his head tipped back as much as his position against the wall could allow. You lifted the glass and slowly tipped it towards his mouth, allowing the mouthful of wine to pass his lips, drop by crimson drop. He swallowed, and something about the movement of his Adam’s apple was so sensual that you couldn’t help but stare. 

You set the glass off to the side and stroked Matt’s cheek with the back of your hand. He heard the soft metallic sounds of the pointed wheel. He licked the last of the wine off his lips and closed his eyes.

Testing a light pressure on the back of your hand first, you rolled the points over your skin. You pressed a little harder, sparking slight pain. That would be the pressure you would use for Matt.

You started over his palms, using one hand to splay his hand open, and the other to roll the wheel down the length of his palm. Repeating the action over his other palm, and then kneeling to roll it over the tops of his feet and ankles, you felt there was something deeply meditative about it. Calm swept over you. It was all symmetrical, Matt’s body reacted in predictable ways, tensing and easing. 

Rising, you rolled the wheel up the length of his leg. His cock twitched. You breathed and picked up the wine glass before you rose to your full height. That marked the end of your work with the tools. You set them aside on the velvet footrest and sat on the end of the bed. Matt had requested a song, Miserere mei, Deus, a choral arrangement of one of the psalms. It was hauntingly beautiful as it echoed through the room. You would let the song loop two more times before untying him. At each high note, you watched goosebumps rise on his skin. He drew deep breaths, his eyes still closed. 

The minutes passed fairly quickly for you, as you let your gaze drift around the room, monitoring Matt’s reactions, stretching your neck from side to side. You knew that for Matt, they would last much longer, the lingering pain on his back as the blood dried, the stress of holding his arms aloft, the heaviness of letting his body echo that of Christ, the darkness. Along with that, all of the senses: the pain, the smell of iron and wine, the taste of tannins, the sound of his heart slowing as he meditated. The feeling of sacrifice, overwhelm, sadness, having been forsaken by the Father...

Matt drew a sudden loud breath, tugging at the restraints, breath becoming faster. Glancing at your phone screen quickly. you saw that the final loop was mere seconds from ending. You rushed to your feet.

“I’m going to let you down,” You whispered. “You’ve finished, Matt.” 

“I’m okay,” He breathed, breath steadying. “But yes, let me down.”

The final part, you thought. Death. You’d borrowed from the French here. His death would be a small one, la petite mort. He’d asked to fuck you afterwards. Nothing brought him closer to God than this.

You pulled at the buckles, letting his arms down one at a time, supporting their weight with your own hands, helping return them to his side, so they wouldn’t drop suddenly, leaden from use. He waited for a few moments while you undressed and lay on the bed, ready.

“Do you want this?” He asked, stepping towards the bed.

“Yes.”

Then he was over you like a sudden dark cloud. His hair, wet with sweat, hung in your face as he moved, lining himself up with your entrance. You were ready enough from all of the foreplay, all of the waiting, taking in his naked, perfect form.

He’d warned you in advance that he wouldn’t last, that he wouldn’t be mentally present enough to help you come. He chased his own pleasure, allowing himself to be selfish for once, letting the pain and pleasure melt together as the wounds on his back opened, letting occasional drops of blood fall atop the sheets. He whined and groaned and writhed, pressing his hips deep into yours. He was single-minded.

As he’d said, he didn’t last long, and it was only a few minutes before he pulled out, painting your chest with his come. His breathing was ragged, and you could tell by everything about the way he breathed, moved, that he was exhausted.

“Matt, lie down on your front, I’ll be back in a moment,” You said softly, stroking his hair.

He hummed and moved to lie down, groaning at the movement. 

You returned, clean, with warm cloths and cream for his back, and tended to it gently. Leaving one of the larger, clean cloths over his back, you insulated it with a blanket to keep the area warm. You reached for an unscented body lotion and spread it gently over his arms and shoulders, gently massaging the muscles until Matt asked you to stop.  

“What do you need?” You whispered, stroking your fingertips over the back of his neck. 

“M’gonna go to sleep,” He mumbled. “I just need you close.”

You rolled him over slightly, just enough to slide your body between his chest and the mattress. He rested his head on your breast, letting his hand come to your hip, and fell asleep. You fluffed the pillows around your head and made sure Matt’s back was covered with one of the cloths and a blanket.

Satisfied, and somewhat exhausted yourself, you drifted off to sleep, and dreamt of walking through fields of clouds.

[tf-2-brainrot]

I'm just gonna make this my tf2-centric blog bc, I've just been hyperfocusing on it a ton and I don't wanna clog my multifandom main acc

Main acc: @spontaneousspirit

About me:

Blog stuff:

-no nsfw, suggestive stuff maybe

-lemme know if you want me to tag stuff (other than basic stuff #tf2 and #tf2 scout, etc)

-I try to tag nudity, gore, and blood, but I'm only human and sometimes can't/don't

-I'm pretty much deathly allergic to EngieSpy, SniperSpy, EngieScout, & SniperScout

-I enjoy HeavyMedic, DemoSolly, and SoldierSpy (Is this what multishipping is?)

-most other ships I'm indifferent towards

(This ain't for propaganda or hate, I'm just letting yall know bc I reblog and create what I like and block what I don't)

Me stuff:

- genderfluid pansexual she/he/they (can ya tell that I'm undecisive?)

-Sniper is my beloved skrunkly and Engie is a beloved blorbo and the closest I have to a "character kin", let me be cringe but free on the cringesite!!1! 😭😫 Jesus died for our sins, let me simp for the Aussie and hyperfixate on the cowboy, God bless, amen. 😔🙏 (/sar /j)

-I make art. Ask me for art. Or pay me for art. Dm or Ask box

-I rb my tf2 art from my main and stuff

-I write stuff. A little bit. It's less fun to me, but I'll still write hcs sometimes. Maybe sometime I'll write one-shots

-ask me abt hcs, why not?

-uhhhh AUs are in the works, but life fucks me like its personal whore, so they're on a hiatus until I'm not fighting to survive

(Queer shit: Making everyone gay is sooo cliché, I've decided to focus on gender instead, and in my au/hc, they are all some type of nonbinary/gnc bc... well tbh, I want to, especially as someone with a ✨️funky gender.✨️) (/sar, /j, /lh, this is a joke, do whatever the fuck you want)

[down-thedrain]

canon hcs for cesar hand them over givme

OKAY I WON'T PUT THAT MANY SO THAY I DON'T GET TIRED BUT

- got some genderfuckery going on there. they're a guy he's a girl sol's a fucking thing AMEN. sol's just not public abt it cuz it's 1992 lmao

- LOVES REPTILES BUT HATES BUGS i stole this hc from foster because it is sooooooo so real they pick up local (non-venemous obviously) snakes with sol's bare hands and mark goes what the FUCK

- they're not a media enjoyer. he watches maybe two new movies per year and that's it. sol simply listnes to the same artists over and over and over god BLESS

- big dragon fan. kinda goes into the reptile lover thing but they definitely drew solarself with dragon wings back in middle school AMEN

- i think he has a very distinctive art style. very shaped. they don't draw a whole lot but their art is definitely very unique (thick, sketchy lines, bright colors, etc)

- okay one more. i'll add more later but they definitely have some body n facial hair n shizz. sideburns n stubble n arm hair n leg hair. sol deserves it AMEN

[elandx]

Struggles Of A Young Man

It's currently 11:53 Friday March 29th as I am typing this. I know this won't be seen or talked about because I have no followers and I'm not using any tags. I just turned 17 a month ago and when I turned I thought I was going to transform into this new person and develop a whole new mindset. But that hasn't happened. I currently struggle with 2 addictions I won't name out of embarrassment from my digital footprint but i will say most boys struggle with both if they've been exposed to it. I've tried to kick both of them with no success and it's crushing my soul. No matter where I run I still find myself falling. Every article, video, life coach, etc I've found touching on the subject helped. I know its a mindset and I've tried my best to stay with it but I fear I'm not strong enough to overcome my demons. I lean on my religion and ask God to remove the want and give me the resistance to the temptation but weather it's a week or a month I always find myself indulging in the toxicity of my addictions. I know I going down the wrong path every time I do, but the feeling is just too strong for me. Now granted my addictions don't affect my day to day and I'm fully functioning, but when I look in the mirror I can't stand what I see. I'm well over 200 pounds (probably in the 215 range), I have no good looking features on me, and my beard doesn't connect. I set a plan for myself this year to fix all that but its just not easy trying to do it alone. I don't feel like I have anyone in my corner to lean on about this and it kills me but I know I'm gonna have to do somethings alone to achieve my goals. But that's where my problem lies, all these life coaches and wellness pages on social give you a list of things to do physically but never mentally. I lack discipline and can't really hold myself accountable for anything. It's a terrible trait I acquired from my dad and he's everything I don't want to be. But I tell myself that and I still sit on my ass all day eat chicken nuggets, make music, and play madden with no real thought of the damage i'm doing to myself. Socially, I'm not pulling the girls I want nor am I pulling the ones everybody can pull. I try to justify it with "I'm not looking for a relationship." or "who needs bitches anyway?" but in the long haul it's definitely an issue because I want a wife and kids. Emotionally it causes me to shit on myself a lot and the obvious answer is to fix the issue by starting to work out but I always feel like I'm embarrassing myself. I'm so fucking caught up with all this worldly shit that it's causing me to kill myself slowly and I'm sick of it. As we roll into a new month I plan on saying fuck it and start doing what i say i'm gonna do. My brain is the only thing that's stopping me and I know when I stop listening to it my body can do some amazing things. So I'm writing this as my first step into recovery from my addictions and my own self. I call on myself to do the right thing and get the outside help I need to achieve my goals. I ask God to guide me through this next chapter of my life and lead me to the ultimate triumph I pray for. I ask that he release me of all my demons and give me the wisdom to make sound decisions and not fall victim to the devil's worldly traps. I ask that he blesses me and leads me to a better place in life. I trust him with all my heart and I know he hears me. I ready for him and I truly believe I am at the cusp of something.

It's in his name I pray these words.

-Amen

[pathologising]

Wishing the queen a speedy fucking death god bless amen etc

[engineer-in-space]

a simple call of the wild review that is totally professional and not way too detailed by me (February)

It's gonna be a bit of comparing to previous powerwolf albums/songs and remember everything is my own opinion. If you disagree/agree we may talk about it in a civilized way, I actually love talking to others about this shit!

But otherwise (hate, insults, etc.) you can keep your opinion somewhere where I can't see it :) Also, the album has barely been out for a day and things change with time and I may grow to like certain things more. (but there's not too much that I don't like tbh) But I hope you enjoy this metalhead-gremlin's ramblings!

Faster than the flame

I had to listen to it quite a few times before I could say anything about it. It's a powerful start into the new album, however, it is (as previously stated) powerful but didn't blow me away like the first songs on the previous albums. (Fire &forgive, Blessed &possessed, amen & attack - wait am I just now noticing a pattern here? oh my god. Anyway.) Maybe I got that personal feeling that I want it to be Fire & Forgive, which is, of course, not possible and would be boring. So i think I'm not even critizing the song but rather the order of the songs.

It feels like a typical powerwolf song; both lyrics and instrumental. Fast, heavy, something about flames and burning - awesome. The two Latin parts (I think it's called the pre-chorus? man, I have no idea and will just throw around these words because my internet connection is too bad to look this up. But if you listen, you'll know which parts I mean.) already give me goosebumps. I also really, really liked the bridge (again?? idk??) aka the "flame, flame, burning wild in heavens name" part. This was the most memorable part for me after the first time listening. Of course, the guitar arrangement throughout the whole song is just... god bless. I must say that using the word "pastor" is dangerous because my stupid brain keeps thinking Attila is singing about "pasta" again... Oh well, moving on!

Beast of Gevaudan

Man, I've been listening almost non-stop since it was released as a single! At first, my head was comparing it somewhat to army of the night but after a few times this feeling was gone and it became an awesome new idea/song. The choir and orchestra part are so well placed and support the rest of the instrumental and Attila's voice perfectly. Again, much fast, very powermetal. I've grown very fond of the guitar solo. The lyrics tell us a little about the story of the beast and I. Love. Storytelling. In. Songs. Glad matthew finally came around to put his idea out there!

This song also has a video, which left me speechless at first. I love Attila's acting so much??? And making this sort of their own story of Jesus was such a cool idea. Production is high quality as well (didn't expect anything less after The Sacrament of Sin MVs) and there were really nice shots in there. I doubt that I will get tired of this song and this video anytime soon!

Dancing with the dead

That choir stuff in the beginning, following by that awesome guitar riff already had me. I couldn't stop listening to this one either. This might be, in my opinion, the most catchy song on the whole album. The intruments are in perfect harmony with Attila's heavenly voice. The transition into the guitar solo is so damn smooth and well done. I'm having a whole crisis about how good this song is.

The lyrics are interesting too! Again, there's a story to be told. As far as I can interpret it, being introduced to some darker powers and growing to enjoy them, despite previously having lots of faith, is what's going on here. It has this slight feeling of... corruption (in a good way of course). This makes me want to go dancing (with the dead)

This one also has a video! Once again, very high quality. Every band member had their "special moments/shots" and just looked stunning. But Attila left them all behind this time. Slow dancing, in a suit, with that smirk on his lips??? Well done, my dude.

Varcolac

This one's dark and heavy. It brings me back to the good ol' times of Lupus Dei and Bible of the Beast. Just with more orchestra, choir and overall harmony. It makes me so happy that Powerwolf is using so many real life legends and figures on this album! And they did such a good job with them as well. If this song was alive, it would be a scary beast.

The typical metal elements and orchestra/choir parts are very well balanced. And the organ throughout the whole song is fitting. It supports the dark and sinister feeling of the whole thing. My favourite part may be the "And as army we bing fire..." parts! Man, I just love werewolves. Also, I think Attila's famous gibberish singing made a return in this one!

Alive or undead

Oh boy,here we go. The piano in this one is incredible. "Here we STAAAAAAND!" Goosebumps and shivers. Everything about this is so emotional andreading the lyrics while listening just makes me want to cry, ok?! T_T Powerwolf has become so flexible, exploring different ways to make music. This could have been some kind of typical powermetal song but it's not and I'm glad about it.

Even if it's a little different, they never stray to far from what makes them special. The few parts, reminding one of typical church music would not have been necessary but are appreciated! They know when to leave out the guitars and go slowly. What bothers me a little, is that it somehow feels like Attila's voice had a tiny bit more potential up to the chorus. It could've been a little bit softer? if i can put it that way. But honestly this song is raw emotion and everything still fits together. If you thought their first ballad was emotional, buckle up, this one kicked me right in the feels.

Blood for blood (Faoladh)

Powerwolf ventures again into the folk metal territory and successfully conquers it! Could be a headline of something. Anyway, this song is a very worthy successor of Incense & Iron! It just makes me happy, its melody is so light - combined with your typical Powerwolf lyrics. Perfect song to start jumping up and down! It radiates motivational energy. Just like Dancing with the dead, this song has a very smooth transition to the guitar parts.

The melody is strong but still easy enough to quickly get into it! I can barely sit still and write this aaaa. Seriously, I am just happy with this song and will go jump and headbang a while to it!

Glaubenskraft

I have returned from jumping and oh no. It's a German song. Bold of them to go all out on that Latin beginning... it works really well though! It might be because I'm German but this song hits hard. Very hard. It's not easy to make this language sound good and ( if you don't happen to know much about German) the lyrics consist of a bunch of old words and grammar you wouldn't normally use anymore. But they made it fucking work!!! The quiet verses only make the pre-chorus and chorus itself heavier and blow me away. And SOMEHOW this super epic song with (made up, at least I'm pretty sure they don't exist like that) Latin words is about.. you know what Powerwolf writes about a lot. And I LOVE that. It's so subtle and only if you read into it, you're like "wait a minute".

This song has a feeling of corruption too. But not in a good way this time. It feels evil and intimidating and - honestly, I can't get enough of it. Everyone of my neighbours will think I'm some kind of weird Christian fanatic because I WILL yell "Glaubenskraft" just as much as I yelled "Stossgebet". Worth it, tho.

Call of the wild

The song with the same title as the album! (or the other way around, whatever.) This song is just catchy from the beginning to the end. Like many other songs its fast and hard. Just how I like it. Don't take that out of context.

The lyrics and instruments go wild (haha get it), with a really neat Latin pre-chorus. It's very fun to listen to. Personally, it makes me feel like I belong to the pack. That we're strong together, that we can say fuck it once in a while and just go crazy. The chanted part near the end of the song reminds me strongly of Sanctified with dynamite (ya know "die, die dynamite" and "call, call, call of the wild") and it's really cool they pick up on old things once again. Be it intentional or not. It's a reminder that they still are who they were back then - and their music is still fucking incredible.

Simply an epic song, strong vocals, strong guitars. I really, really like the intro. Attila has to sing so many words in such little time, does he even need to breathe now and then?

Now I'm wondering what came first; the album title or the track title? Chicken or the egg?

Sermon of swords

First of all: WHAT IS THAT OMINOUS VOICE IN THE BEGINNING. Mark me down as horny and scared. Ahem.

I really like how the verse and the chorus have their own theme and melody going on and yet they're connected. The chorus is super catchy too! And just say it yourself "Sermon of swords", how cool does it sound??? The choir in the beginning is a really neat introduction into the whole song. The lyrics match the whole album, very much a soundtrack to go on a crusade to, like Raise your fist, Evangelist or Christ & Combat. Just... "AAMEEN!" Ok, I'm actually going insane here, calm down, Feb. These might be my favourite lyrics of the whole album I think?? (unless I said that somewhere else already, then i have more than one favourite.)

The whole song has a more "classical" feeling to it, not only in the Powerwolf sense but also in the Heavy Metal sense in general. BUT. Orchestra and choir are prefectly mixed, especially supporting Attila in the chorus. The guitar solo is really cool and sounds very Greywolf-y, if you know what I mean. It's just Matthew's style.

Undress to confess

The name of this song says it all. This is your friendly reminder that no matter how much they preach about Jesus or the Devil, Powerwolf should not be taken too seriously. When I first saw the title I couldn't help but chuckle a little.

The melody is pretty catchy and easy to remember, the organ and general approach reminds me of Demons are a girl's best friend. I absolutely love how the lyrics are on that thin line of somewhat poetic and ridiculous. Let me provide two examples here: "all the world we posess for desire and sin we carress" - man, this sounds pretty.

And there's also "dressed to hide the dark, and obsessed to ride him hard on the.... crucifix." Yeah, I... I don't know what I expected here. Anyway, this is how you describe church sex without actually using explicit words. (why are you booing me, i'm right)

Still really nice to listen to and have a good time!

Reverent of rats

We arrived at the last song of the album! And here we picked up on the speed and power again! The way the organ is played during the verses makes it so... sinister. Again, this piece reminds me of Lupus Dei. The verses keep the sinister feeling while the chorus picks up more... drama? An epic melody mixed with epic words make my soul ascend to heaven.

This guitar solo is also the absolute good shit. It might be my favourite from all the songs of this album?! Additionally, the drums? I don't know why but they really stand out here. Love how fast paced they are.

Aaaaand that's it! If you've read all the way through holy shit, you are actually a badass. Thank you for staying with me, my werewolf friend. Maybe we'll meet where the wild wolves have gone. But always remember: Metal is religion.

[imagines-mha]

When you wear his clothes

Fandom(s): Haikyuu!!

Characters: Daichi, Oikawa, Kuroo, Bokuto, Terushima, Kita, Futakuchi, Ushijima

🔸 Daaamn if this man ain’t smug as hell

🔸 He wouldn’t seem it, and it’d take a genius to tell- but beneath his cool facade, he’s overflowing with utter pride

🔸 You show up one day to practice to drop off his lunch, clad in one of his comfy t-shirts

🔸 Let's be real, Tanaka and Noya see you way before he does

🔸 And bc ur the captains s/o™️, you get a free pass to becoming the unofficial mom of karasuno

🔸 So yes, they all adore you. And yes, they tease you and Daichi like hell

🔸 “WOAH Y/N!! IS THAT DAICHI’S?!” Noya calls, and all eyes magnetise to your figure

🔸 That’s when a smirk creeps onto your boyfriend’s face and your face starts to heat up bc he is HOT

🔸 “You gotta wear my stuff more often babe,“ he’ll grin after the team finish with their compliments, “seems like everyone here thinks you’re cute as hell too. Pity you’re all mine though-“

🔸 *cue cheesy couple shit that makes half of the team wanna throw up*

🔹 If you wear ANY of his stuff, you can bet he’s gonna put the evidence all over the internet. Yall KNOW he would upload it onto a public billboard if he could

🔹 Because everyone needs to see how cute his little y/n is

🔹 And also- boy likes to boast about his relationship cus he thinks ur a gift from god lol

🔹 He’ll probably still tease you about it tho U CANNOT WIN W THIS MAN

🔹 “Aw y/n are you trying to get even closer to me by wearing my shirt? Did you really miss me THAT much? Gosh you’re so cute when-“

🔹 Just slap him

🔹 Fr tho either tell him to knock it off or feed his ego even more. We all know what choice is gonna take less time lmao

🔹 He’s the boyfriend who encourages you to wear his stuff, but super subtly.

🔹 Leaving hoodies on radiators when it’s cold, t-shirts in convenient places just in case you wanna throw them on…

🔹 He just loves having an s/o who wears his clothes it makes him feel like a cool boyfriend okay

🔹 He’ll post pics with the caption “isn’t my sweet little y/n just adorable in MY hoodie?! 🥰🥰🥰” and u can’t lie it kinda does make you melt

♦️ Go grab the dictionary and look up “teasing little bitch”

♦️ There u go that's how he is. He’ll torture you abt it but we all know he’s so into seeing u wear his stuff.

♦️ Sexually.

♦️ “Wow dontcha have your own jacket to wear? Or are you just trying to show me off again?”

♦️ “And who gave you the free pass to steal all my shirts?”

♦️ He’s just teasing though, y’all know he prays every night for you to wear them cus he thinks you’re fucking precious

♦️ You remind him of a little kitty when his giant hoodies are draped around your shoulders

♦️ It drives him CRAZY

♦️ He’s got hard like 83 times more than he’d like to admit just from the sight of you in his clothes not his finest moments

♦️ With that in mind, wear his clothes for a free pass to the best sex of your life amen

⚫️ Lmao. Simp king.

⚫️ He comes home early from practice to find you rummaging around in the kitchen, one of his hoodies hanging around you

⚫️ And istg he almost has to call an ambulance

⚫️ “Y/N WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WORE MY STUFF WHEN I WASNT HOME ANDJWJDJWDJSH”

⚫️ Openly campaigns for you to wear his clothes

⚫️ Like if advertising his clothes to you was an olympic sport, he’d have won gold at least 6 years in a row by now

⚫️ Ur like “oh i'm coming to practice today” and he’s like “ok wear my hoodie”

⚫️ And BOI when you do. WHEN YOU DO.

⚫️ You’re gonna feel like A BEAUTY QUEEN.

⚫️ “EVERYONE LOOK AT HOW FUCKING ADORABLE Y/N LOOKS IN MY HOODIE. HEAR THAT? MY HOODIE. THE HOODIE THAT IS MINE AND BELONGS TO ME. M-E. NO ONE ELSE.”

⚫️ Bokuto you’re making another scene

⚫️ Its fucking cute though

🟣 Confused.com

🟣 “Y/n… where are all your clothes?”

🟣 God bless him he’s such a sweetie pie. He just doesn’t get the memo you’re doing it bc he has comfy ass clothes and you wanna wear them also he smells nice n u like to boast that ur ushijima’s s/o what about it

🟣 When you tell him this, he just nods for a moment, still clueless as ever

🟣 “I can buy you new clothes if you need them?” USHIJIMA NO

🟣 Somehow he works out that you just wear them cus you wanna, and he is more than okay with that

🟣 Lowkey fills him with pride

🟣 You’ll find he’s more clingy when you’re in his hoodies etc. He’s a big cuddlebug on the worst of days so this just sends him OFF

🟣 Perfect for when u need that extra affection

🟣 Just throw on his hoodie and BAM there you are. Cuddly wakatoshi. Ur welcome

▪️He finds it endearing above anything

▪️ He isn’t one to openly show how blushy something makes him, so his reaction is a narrow display of how his heart is really feeling

▪️ You can still read him like an open book tho and u just KNOW by the sparkle in his eyes that he’s melting at the sight of you

▪️ He’s a busy guy, but meticulous at that. He’ll walk into your home and notice you wearing it immediately

▪️ It makes his chest heat up at the sight of you, and he just has to indulge himself in the situation

▪️ You feel his arms around your waist before anything else, giving you a warm squeeze and a peck to your head

▪️ “You look beautiful y/n”

▪️ You guys always cuddle before bed, and you find he’s holding you just a little closer and tighter when you’re in his hoodie/shirt

▪️ He likes to nuzzle you to his chest and play with your hair- it comforts him

▪️ But if you’re in his t-shirt while he does it?? It’s like the feeling is hyped x100

🔸He’s gonna get turned on by it no cap

🔸Seriously, what else did you expect from him?

🔸 He’s boastful as hell when his sees you in his outfits, and even the idea of it just makes him heat up

🔸 You show up to his house one day in a shirt he left at yours

🔸 You’re met with a sharp whistle, catching you off guard and clearly to compliment how hot you look

🔸 “Didn’t know you were comin’ all dressed up for me baby,”

🔸 You swear every time he calls you baby it makes you swoon

🔸 Like Oikawa, he’s boastful as hell

🔸 Expect 104827 selfies before you leave he treats u like his model its so fuckin cute

🔸This man just likes to show you OFF

🟢 Boy gets a little flustered

🟢 But does he mask it with cockiness? Yes. Yes he does

🟢 “Wow, this for me?” He’ll smirk a bit, dropping his bags on the floor and making his way into the bedroom where you lay

🟢 And then it could go one of two ways my friend.

🟢 Either you act all sub and cute- pouting back, letting him take control of you

🟢 Or you call him out on his faux-smugness, and watch him fall weak to you

🟢 If you chose option 1, he’ll probably take it as an opportunity to further things and fuck you- cus that boy is ALWAYS ready to go if u know what i mean ;))

🟢 If you chose option 2, you get to watch his soft side come out and it's CUTE as hell

🟢 He’ll be like “y/n stoppp let me be cool…”

🟢 Either way he fuckin loves when you wear his clothes. Surprise him in a t shirt and nothing else and he’ll SLAM you into a wall and kiss you til you can’t feel your lips istg

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

bhah ch7 can’t stop won’t stop

lmao Dani being like ‘we should wait to discuss kids til after we’re married’ yes doesn’t seem like a giant thing u should make sure u agree on before u make a major commitment at all

Dani is so in love with Jamie sdjkhdfkjg driving to her house on instinct and just like...gazing at her in her old t-shirt and sweats like you’ve finally seen the light girl just kiss her already

god I can’t believe I have 2 more chapters of them as adults just being the absolute perfect match for each other to get through before they finally kiss in ch 11 (i’m maninfesting it no one say anything) I am literally going to scream. Dani will like... feel a little off and it’s all “i need to go to Jamie’s house and also tell Jamie everything and she will make me tea and let me be myself without all the expectations and I will feel better” I AM VERY HAPPY SHE CAN BE THAT FOR YOU BUT ALSO CAN YOU SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE MS CLAYTON (actually I think she kind of does but she must extract herself from her real life first I guess)

oh no the new chapter is almost here I still have so much to read

forget ‘there was only one bed’ this is now a ‘there was only one tent’ stan blog only

thirsty Dani truly is the funniest I am so sorry ur suffering is so entertaining. Dani: literally whacks her finger with a mallet bc horny for Jamie. Me: uncontrollable chortling

the idea of Dani wrangling 8 year olds that are probably just about as tall as her is too funny. tiny legend

aww the lil background Hannah and Owen moments. cute

Dani in a big ol’ straw hat pls that’s so cute

this Jackie and Jamie situation..... GIVE US THE DEETS

hmmmmnnnnnngggg Jamie just straight down on her knees in front of Dani to tie her shoe lace I will absolutely let u have this gay panic Dani u don’t deserve to be made fun of right now

Jamie “I have a story” absolutely NOT

Viola, emerging from the lake in this no ghosts childhood friends story: surprise bitch

these two drunk idiots are literally teenagers dsjkhdfkgjh just get in ur tent

Dani, drunk in a tiny tent w the love of her life: hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me

when we finally get a Jamie on her knees redemption moment-

Dani, drunk in a tiny tent w the love of her life currently taking her clothing off: oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck (y’all really wanted to torture her this chapt huh?)

“dawn was a saffron colored suggestion peeking through a pinhole gap in the tent’s zipper” god that’s a pretty sentence can i pls borrow some talent

Jamie and Dani w kids is sooooo cute they have such a nice balance between them

just thinking about if teenage Jamie desperately in love w her bestie could see things now Dani being all into her w all her lingering looks etc how the fuckin turn tables

“Dani kept a firm grip on her sanity” lol

oh my god they’re both drenched in the tent w the soft lamplight and only their own bodyheat to keep warm whatever will they do

oh wait they also have the heat of their burning attraction to each other they’ll be toasty as anything

hhhhngggg abs

that’s like 4 mentions of Jamie on her knees aklhfdkjgkdjh enough

lads is it gay to imagine running ur fingertips over the scar on your friends back before pressing ur lips to it or...?

Jamie taking the time to teach Dani car things aww

lol not the smutty book

eddie honking at her gets so under my skin like my dude... my guy... stop

Dani thinking so hard about rain damp Jamie and how much she wanted to jump her while she’s in the car w her boyf and MIL. girl

imagine if we had to sit through a dani and eddie wedding before she finally managed to call this off how cursed

ayoooo Carson’s show I cannot wait. omg we get it this chapter too gbless this really is the Dani suffering hours

Jamie just so casually like.... not even flirting w Dani it’s all just kinda observations but every other thing she says makes Dani stop breathing skdhfdkfjh this is so good

Dani has like... a lack of object permanence but with Jamie feelings ok

pleeease the Dani Carson road trip that’s so cute I can just imagine what fun they would have had

uuughhh i wanna go to a sweaty bar n listen to loud music again

also would like a Jamie to press their hand to my lower back n make me lose my mind in a sweaty bar to loud music

this lil jamie dani carson trio is my faaaave

“Girls must be all over you.” and Jamie choking on her drink dsfkjsdhkf oh Dani u beautiful naive angel. god that’s so funny

Robin instantly going for Jamie... same bro

Carson’s lil found family band pls my heart is so full

Carson calling them his sisters n Jamie freezing up bby when are u going to accept these people care abt u and love u like family

Robin is so brazenly just like ‘ur hot’. a voice of the people i love her

Dani being lowkey jealous as IF Ms Taylor has eyes for anyone else babe

Carson knoooowwwwws. When do we get the Carson O’Mara biopic please I want his takes on everything I know they’re excellent

oh my god Jamie knowing Dani’s fave kind of pizza pls I love that so much (I can’t remember if it’s been mentioned in the past few chapters but I remember her being mad that Eddie didn’t in CH1? i love this lil detail) (also I literally just ate vegge pizza I feel so immersed in this experience)

dfkgjhdfkjgh Jamie licking her finger and Dani completely combusting this is so entertaining

fuck n then it gets all soft and about how they’ve been in love their whole lives this is emotional whiplash

Jamie constantly in protector mode but in this really quiet comforting way is so sweet I love her so much

god I just feel so bad for Dani that this kind of insane electricity she has with Jamie has probably never been a thing in her relationship w Ed bby u deserve someone that makes u feel like this

awww Carsons bf

Dani’s soul leaving her body when she sees them kissing oh no

Jamie giving Dani her jacket pleeease I am dying here... the romance of it all

and shariing cigarettes and intense looks these two really are somethin else

lmao even Robin is picking up on their vibes you two could level a building with the amount of tension between u

Dani’s moment of Realisation abt Carson n Jamie just being like... well yeah

lmao Dani subtly trying to figure out if Jamie is gettin’ it sdkgdfhkjgh

when these do two finally get together both of them are gonna be like... taken out by all of this. Dani has only ever known Eddie who just does not get her (and the fact that she is a lesbian so she’s never had real feelings for him in that way) and it seems like Jamie has only ever had surface level relationships with people who never really got her either (while also being in love w her best friend who she never thought would love her back). there’s no way this is wont eventually make at least one person cry a bunch (probably me) with how right all of it is

god Dani is so horny for Jamie sdflkdfjgkfdj preemptive RIP for Ms Taylor when Dani finally does get to live out all these daydreams on her I just know someones gonna end up pulling somethin

Does Dani like.... get that she will never love Edmund that way like is she fully aware of the fact she loves him but she’s not in love with him and all these feelings for Jamie aren’t just because it’s Jamie but because she’s not straight??? have we gone on that journey yet

aw Ed waited up for her

the book the book the book

dsfkdhfgkj oh Dani

“Jamie on her knees, looking up at her” listen-

girl u are so fucked

SIX. SIX MENTIONS OF JAMIE ON HER KNEES pls

THE DREAM

who could this possibly be about hmmmm Dani

christ

THE MEASURES SHE TAKES TO DEAL WITH THE DREAM lordt

“baffled but excited” i think is how I almost always picture eddie lol

dang get it girl take control

aw dani u poor confused little duck. i just wanna give her a hug

Dani dressed as Dorothy is awfuly cute

heh Jamie as a wolf i love her fursona

lmao toto

of course Jamie is well aquainted with the bleachers. cheeky. oh no not the art room. Dani dying inside and then imagining herself there with Jamie girl has got it baaaad u poor lil repressed gayby

Dani is... so thirsty... goddamn

lmao Jamie blatantly checking her out are u trying to kill her she already wants to rip ur clothes off

“To the third floor art room?” dfksdhfgkjdfhgjdhf imagine if this was it they just banged it out in the art room right now n got things sorted

god they go from horny to soft so quick i love the ways they care about each other

Jamie saying the scarecrow costume is fitting for Eddie PLEASE

ooh the infamous hickey

What Dani deseves: snuggles. What Dani recieves: struggles

the MEMES. god bless the memes

this was an excellent companion for my Wednesday hopefully I can churn through the rest of em before we are blessed w ch11 amen

[gas-station-trackphone]

Fic Recs/Mandatory Reading for Reddie fans

Here is an incomplete list of some of my favorite Reddie fics on ao3, because i cannot get over the sheer talent of this fandom’s wonderful writers! A lot of these are the Greatest Hits that you’ll find on almost every fic list, but that’s why I consider them mandatory reading. like if you haven’t read some of these, what are you doing?

the years go by like days by georgiestauffenberg, rated M

the 27 years in between, but better because richie and eddie stay together. every time i think of this fic, i think of that lady gaga meme where she’s like “brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, etc” and maybe it’s bc this is one of the first reddie fics i ever read, but this one is always gonna be my favorite

broken record by spunknbite, rated E

the mother of all time loop fics. every reddie veteran gets chills at the phrase “the house on Neibolt was still standing”

literally everything by stitchy

like seriously just clear a few days bc you’re not gonna want to stop reading this author once you start. no other author has made me literally fucking cackle in one paragraph and sob in the next like this one, pls do yourself a favor and devour all their works like i did 

the night we met (take me back) by camerasparring, rated E

ch2 fix-it where eddie shows up at richie’s door alive and with no memory. great slow burn with a wonderfully conflicted richie, 10/10

let’s hear it for my baby! series by cloudings, rated E

OOOOOOOHHH boy! a modern teen!reddie grindr AU that’s both steamy AND sweet?? more like a fucking blessing amen hallelujah

a heart that laughter has made sweet by marjaani, rated E

another lovely teen!reddie fic that’s got it all! sweet, stupid boys, humor, a teeny bit of angst, and some 5-alarm fire smut with some top eddie, as a treat

keep talking. i’ll keep walking toward the sound of your voice. by theappleppielifestyle, rated T

angst with a happy ending is my favorite, and this one is just fantastic. so sweet, so sad! and stan is featured as eddie’s afterlife buddy and idk about y’all but i cannot get enough of stanley uris in my reddie fics. read this, then read all this author’s reddie fics, they’re all amazing

collateral by loosecannon, sheepknitssweater, rated E

a post-ch2 fic that i guess could be classified as fix-it, BUT with some very interesting twists. they beat the clown, everyone lives, but no one really gets the tropey happy ending. the WIP sequel is also incredible and i live for the updates.

the greater fool  series by mischiefmanager, mostly rated T with some E

this is a series i’ll reread a lot bc it’s so fucking good. follows young reddie into early adulthood, mostly a bunch of cute shit where they figure out themselves and their relationship. also contains the single best teen reddie fic in existence, he came in through the window, but reading the whole series is a must

brokeback derry and everything else by Amuly, rated E

27 years in between, richie and eddie reconnect in their 20s and meet back up in derry twice a year to remember and love each other before going back to their lives and forgetting. so much pain. there’s a lot of sweet stuff in there, but you can see shit’s gonna get complicated from miles away and the anticipation almost gave me stomach ulcers (in a good way). ultimate angst with a happy ending.

let me name the stars for you by playedwright, rated M

speaking of angst with a happy ending...Martian AU!!!!! this one fucked me up in the best way, i literally called my roommate at 2am to vent to her about my emotions after reading it. i go back and reread chapter 8 just to be overwhelmed by it, and it makes me cry every time. plus, there are awesome sequels/companion pieces in the series! read this, i beg you!

walk through fire for you by hyruling, rated T

unwind after all that angst with some cute, drunk, confused eddie being very upset when he finds out richie is engaged. richie only teases him a little before pointing out the matching ring on eddie’s finger. 

in the heat of the summer (you're so different from the rest) by kaboomslang, rated E

post-ch2 slow burn with tags that really say it all, including but not limited to: eddie moves to california and richie is a mess, Eddie Kaspbrak’s Hot Girl Summer, and cute middle aged man dates

pivotal moments by danfanciesphil, polypocket, rated E

high school reddie has a sort of fwb thing goin on, but emotions get in the way. featuring wonderful bevchie friendship, hella miscommunication, cute double dates, high eddie, and a happy ending

like a bullet in the back by jerry_duty, rated M

adult idiots in love! a personal favorite trope of mine! slow burn with a fair helping of angst but a really great ending. richie stays with eddie in new york while he’s there on business, and it takes these losers SO LONG to figure it out but the way they dance around it is very cute

no sense of living without aim [WIP] by liesmyth, rated E

richie and eddie meet on grindr in the 27 years between and hey, whadda ya know, they fall in love! i really love this fic but i’m pretty sure it’s been abandoned. i’ve had it open on my phone browser for like 3 months with no update but i still check it regularly bc i’m pathetic and this fic is just so good i’m DYING to know what happens next so read at ur own risk

a strange sense of familiarity [WIP] by Katranga, rated E

another “they meet and fall in love without remembering” fic, and even though it’s not complete yet, it gets regular updates. oh, also, i’m obsessed with it. they’re long distance fuck buddies who can’t admit they’re in love, and then they get hit with the childhood memories! and everyone lives! what’s not to love!  also PLEASE read kisses take like mint and every other reddie work by this author, they are all fantastic

adult friends by sudowoodo, rated T

AU where adult reddie meet at a first aid seminar for work (immediately fall in love), become friends, become best friends, and finally get to be happy. has some super repressed eddie and intensely pining richie, which is always fun, and genuinely made me laugh out loud. also please check out this author’s other reddie fics, there’s some super sweet kid reddie in there that really warms the heart

the mind's a funny fruit by joldiego, rated T

eddie wakes up barely alive in derry, has 0 memory, calls himself richie, and moves in with some lesbians. an absolute must read that ought to be on every reddie fic rec compilation. i read this a long time ago and just thinking about it makes me want to read it again.

now what i'm gonna say may sound indelicate [WIP] by IfItHollers, rated E

it took me entirely too long to find this fic since i joined the fandom, and it’s truly a fucking masterpiece. it’s almost at 200k now and still unfinished, and the slow burn is excruciating, but this is a legendary fic for a reason. eddie spends the first chunk of this fic in the hospital recovering from the massive chest wound, and then he and richie move the recovery to ben’s cabin in the woods. the author’s notes for each chapter are a story in themselves

signs of a new lifetime by swordfishtrombones, rated T

one of the sweetest, most romantic reddie fics i’ve ever read. a fresh take on a classic concept: post-ch2, they’re in love, they haven’t said/done anything about it yet, BUT!!! it’s not angsty! they are all cute and giggly like “you say it first!” “no, you say it first!” and it makes me fucking MELT

broadcasting tower by swordfishtrombones, rated E

back-to-back recs from the same author! bc i love these fics so much! sort of similar to the last one in that they both know what’s up and just haven’t said it, but this one’s got the angst! i didn’t know when i read it that it was the same author as the other fic, and i thought how funny, i found another reddie author that perfectly captures this pair in such a wonderfully romantic way! i also just noticed there’s a follow up to this so now i have to go read that immediately

eurydice; the original comeback kid by Vulcanodon, rated M

for the love of god please read this and the other work in this series. it’s a ch-2 fix-it with some intense action sequences and major pining, and it has haunted me since i first read it

love on the telephone by tempestbreak, rated E

okay this one is really just 30k of pure smut but it’s also so sweet and features a mini sexual awakening for eddie and some insecure richie with an emphasis on how much they love and trust each other. also it doesn’t hurt that the smut is fire, like does anyone else want that twink obliterated, or is it just me?

the boy who loves you by candlejill, rated E

eddie lives, richie confesses, things are chill and then they’re not. richie’s career flourishes, which is always nice to read and is what ultimately catalyzes eddie’s gay awakening and realization of his love for richie. it’s got some sad angsty parts and a very sweet ending, and it up there as one of my favorite reddie fics of all time

richie and eddie break up [WIP] by skeilig, rated M

a refreshing and realistic take on life ch-2 for the losers, because being in love at thirteen doesn’t mean you can fall into a perfect relationship at 40. i’ll admit, i’m hoping this will ultimately be a “richie and eddie get back together” fic, but it’s still a very good read (and often very funny in the second chapter) at the moment in the midst of their break up

september 1989 and everything else by pineapplecrushface, rated T

cute kid reddie figuring it out and making me smile. the follow up to this and the after derry series by this author are also personal favorites

go west by ssstrychnine, rated T

road trip fic! an absolute work of art slow burn with teen reddie in the 90s. it’s so beautifully written i just wish i could go back and read it for the first time again

the edification of eddie kaspbrak by tozier, rated M

character study with some incredible fucking prose, my lord it gorgeous. explores how eddie learns about love as he grows up, and it’s super fucking sad sometimes bc the poor boy doesn’t know how to have the things he wants and i just want to give him a hug, but it’s really a spectacular fic

circular motion by sinchronicity, rated M

soulmate!AU that follows book canon and even though it’s been a long time since i’ve read it and the details are fuzzy, i remember absolutely loving it and thinking it was incredible

tell me you know by RichiesToesHurt, rated E

college losers with some severely pining and jealous richie with a lovely ending 

predicament bondage [WIP] by dgalerab, rated E

i resisted reading this fic for so long, recently broke and binged all of it, and now i’m like frothing at the mouth for updates. richie’s a closeted actor/comedian who meets eddie, a professional Dom, when he needs help researching a role. they become friends, they develop crushes, richie realizes he’s a sub, and it’s just so much fun to read

there’s a lot more fics to rec so i might add on to this in the future, but in the meantime my biggest tip for for reading fanfiction that took me embarrassingly long to figure out: focus on the authors! if you read something you like, check out the rest of the work by that author bc odds are you’ll like that too. i mentioned it in a few specific works above, but check out the authors catalogues for these fics. if i included every work by these authors that i loved, this list would be miles long

feel free to add on any great stuff i missed, there’s sure to be tons of it!

[tarajenkins]

Please no more Square, I am at my (character) limit lmao

"The Light will not be denied!" 

I really do still wonder how anyone who played through ShB could reach the conclusion that a child with no Blessing Of Light ever stood a chance against the will of a Lightwarden. And not just any child--a child the Ascians intended to use as a doorstop to prevent the First from being destroyed before the Rejoining could happen, a child whose own trusted parental figure was willing to gaslight and manipulate them for the sake of their own power. A child whose behavior would absolutely need to fit a certain mold to achieve their ends. 

The Light corruption of a Sin Eater is confirmed by Halric's arc to be a lot like Tempering. Repeatedly Tempering someone, like Loonh Gah's mother in the Amalj'aa questchain, destroys their sanity. Emet-Selch's own dialogue up there confirms that the Warden essences in the WoL would not only drive them to madness, but violence. Vauthry had the essence of a Lightwarden forced into him before he was even born, and he had no higher power to protect him. 

Selch puts it plainly: the corruption of a Lightwarden is absolute in time, even for the WoL. I have yet to hear a good reason why Vauthry’s corruption would have been the sole exception to this rule. The “half Sin Eater” bit is brought up sometimes, but that is just buying into the lies his father told. Vauthry was already an entirely Hume infant. He was never “half” anything. He was already complete. He was corrupted. Tempered, according to Halric’s arc--blaming him for not fighting it is like blaming Thancred for the Waking Sands. It’s not a thing anyone can fight.

There’s also Yoshi-P asking players to ask themselves if Vauthry was really a friend of the Sin Eaters, or was he being controlled by someone.

(On a side note, I could have sworn it was stated the Ascians can't handle Light well, or at all? How did Emet-Selch even do that in the first place? Bad Writing(tm) \o/)

Silence Is Golden:

In a world where everyone rightfully fears Sin Eaters, a world where Eulmorans had fought them and died to them for decades, where those corrupted by fallen Sin Eaters have to be put to death before turning themselves--how would the mayor of Eulmore even explain his son's "gift"? Explain his son having a second, Sin Eater face in his chest? Explain that he allowed his child to be corrupted by a rando in a cloak, with no input from his wife? How did he keep her silent? Besides Square not bothering to give her dialogue, of course.

(Also, there was at least one other Minifilia in Vauthry's lifetime. The Minis all fought for Eulmore, as per Moren's book. How did they miss the Lightwarden now residing in Mr. Mayor's child? Did Hydaelyn know?)

It's such poor writing on Square's part to have left the disturbing Echo of how Emet-Selch “made” Vauthry as a footnote, and even moreso to have Wrenden claim in the hilariously contradictory patch 5.1 that Vauthry's father was the "good old days" of Eulmore. A man that would agree to let that be done to his own wife and child, a man who vocalized such disregard for his own peoples' lives, that was the good old days, really? The mayor who had "unrest" and detractors "stirring up the citizenry"? THAT mayor?

This is how far the writers were willing to go to dehumanize a fat man who had absolutely no consent or control in his “destiny”. And, speaking of dehumanizing--

--Square couldn't be arsed to treat Vauthry's mother like a character and not a convenient and silent womb, so we have no idea what happened to her. (My money is still on the Obscenity theory.) But since Vauthry only mentioned "Father", it sounds like the mayor raised him alone. 

What did Former Mayor do when his son had challenging questions about his father’s plans for him, or when the child balked at the answers given? How did he explain whatever happened to his wife? Just how much did "Father" have to manipulate that child's world to maintain the lies?

It’s strongly implied Former Mayor kept his son in a state of isolation where neither his word nor the Ascians' will could be questioned until the child was thoroughly brainwashed to believe, and there would be no questions then. Whether intended by Square or not, Vauthry does display many signs of an adult who suffered extreme isolation as a child. 

An entire childhood, with his likely only trusted source of knowledge and solace being someone who was grooming him for a power grab--and all the while, he can’t escape the presence of a creature inside him that drives mortals mad.

One of “Father’s” directives stands out in particular between the lines during ShB, though we don’t know how it came about originally:

Don’t tell anyone what you really are.

Even though Vauthry was given a good reason “why he was born as man and sin eater both", it still leaves the impression he was born because Sin Eaters are bad, and Vauthry needed to stop them from doing bad things--plus hush, don’t tell, people would find his existence bad if they knew the truth of it. Kids ask questions. Kids wonder. Feeling like an outsider hurts, let alone an outsider made of the same stuff that everyone fears. If Sin Eaters are monsters, then what was he? 

The fact Vauthry asked his father why was he born that way in the first place indicates the child instinctively felt there was something wrong.

The in-game dialogues appear to back this up. Although Vauthry's "heritage" was supposed to be this amazing thing, the true nature of it was instead lied about and kept hidden his entire life. Seems unusual for a guy supposedly convinced that he is “perfection”, doesn’t it? The fact that Eulmorans never once referred to Vauthry as "half Sin Eater" or a "God" during twenty years of his rule, the fact he only mentioned it himself before the Warden was about to claim him entirely; all well and good his father obviously invented some lie to placate the masses (“born with miraculous and convenient power” was all it took), but how did maintaining that lie, hiding who he really was, read to Vauthry all those years? 

During ShB, he still seemed to keep to the isolation he likely always knew. He never left that room. The citizens came to him when they wanted something, but it was never implied or shown he sought social contact on his own. Nothing was scaled to him, utensils, glasses, plates, etc.--as though he refused to single himself out as different from everyone else.

He called the Lightwarden’s awakening a “trial” to be embraced during Crown Of The Immaculate. Odd that someone supposedly convinced of his godhood would ever think he needed testing--but it makes perfect sense in the context of someone who always felt they needed to prove that they were worthwhile.  

He was proud of his power to protect his people, and proud of the paradise he built for them, but he didn’t want Alphinaud to paint a picture of him, he wanted a painting of the city. There were zero paintings or other monuments to himself in Eulmore. Lot of people in the fanbase speak of him being vain, yet he seemed to not want to be seen unless he had to be--almost as though, even toward the end, even through all the bluster, he still read being “half Sin Eater” as wrong.

With that in mind, there didn’t seem to be much evidence to even tell Vauthry he was born because he was wanted. He was born because his ability was needed. If not for his father’s ambition, however sweetly that may have been disguised, then to defend Eulmore against the monsters he was a part of. His ability was needed, not even him specifically--and the Eulmorans, with all their wishes and dreams to be fulfilled, could easily enforce the belief on the child that who he was didn’t matter, what he may want did not matter, only what he could do for others mattered. And what he did for them wouldn’t matter if they knew the truth of him. What a terrible, conditional ”love”. It could explain why he was so cynical about human nature. (Even though his predictions about human nature in the face of a dying world 110% came to pass in the Black Rose timeline. 6_9 gg G’raha) 

Yet despite all this, Vauthry needed to be convinced he was doing good for the shattered world. He needed to be convinced what he was doing was right, despite having power enough to not care. If Amaurot was Utopia, then Eulmore reminded me very much of Ursula K. LeGuin’s Omelas--a paradise, at the cost of one child’s eternal suffering. 

Food For Thought (and Bad Writing(tm)):

A lot of people have a boner for the cannibalism implications of meol despite the bad math behind it, but fucking meol, how does it work? 

Sin eating historically was to cleanse one who has passed on of their earthly sins that they may find peace in the afterlife--this was done in different ways by different people, but one of the best known methods was ritualistically baking the sins of the dead into bread or cakes and consuming it. Yoshi-P has even said he thought of meol as a sweet bread. Quest text from the Unfulfilled Forager in Gate Town further backs up that meol is not meat-based:

(By the way, nothing was keeping this man from hunting a shit-ton of meat that was literally within walking distance.)

It suggests Vauthry could have been taught that by eating the sins of the world, a.k.a. Sin Eaters, a.k.a. meol (which in the Japanese version, was something he was apparently afraid of doing?) --he was saving someone’s soul. 

“And for thy peace I pawn my own soul. Amen.”

In reality, there would be a point Mr. Mayor would not know how to feed the Warden forced on his child. Humes don't have a natural method of feeding on "living aether", yet the Warden would not reach its full potency without it. Making meol could either involve an instinctive act on the Warden’s part, or it was taught--and that seems very much beyond his father’s area of expertise, OR Vauthry himself, so I’d almost wonder if the Ascians had a part in it.  But like mixing medicine in a favorite food, theoretically, the aether provided by meol would slowly build up. And as the Warden grew in power, it would need more, and more. It would explain that final “powerup” before Mt. Gulg.

Provided Sin Eaters have any living aether left. They never explained that bit. Sin Eaters have no bones, no blood, no meat, nothing but Light. We saw enough of them dissipate into the air, including in cutscenes. Even Tesleen, very recently turned, faded. There is nothing else to them but Light...and there should be nothing left but that “blank perfection”, the Eater would have ate the rest? So where is the “living aether” they require to survive?

Fresh-sliced sneater wing, empty as the plotholes of this arc.

I could buy him turning people into Eaters directly, but then what was the point of the bread?

That’s right folks, meol still doesn't make sense, surprise! Also: so many people in one city allegedly being "disappeared" over twenty years, from a stagnant population, to “feed” everyone every day--yet no panic, not so much as a hushed whisper about it? Eulmore is supposed to be the safest place anywhere -- no idea how it could gain that reputation with that theory. Square wrote Eulmore like it existed in a vacuum, no one knowing no one. The lack of depth is still jarring, three playthroughs later. Only one unreliable narrator of an NPC (Thoarich) even hinted this theory, to boot. 

Side note I thought was strange: you never see any of the normal food in Vauthry’s chamber actually eaten, it’s all untouched. I wonder if the Warden somehow eventually affected his ability to tolerate the food a Hume would normally eat.

That said, his “mind control” of the populace was laughably ineffective, so I wonder what even was the point of feeding them meol. Perhaps it was again the Lightwarden instinct to create more of its own kind. Nothing else seems to fit. “Oh no, this Eulmoran is staggering randomly around, muttering about Vauthry! How can we survive this onslaught?” Yyyyeah no, lol. Alphinaud confirmed the Eulmorans were acting of their own free will until that final showdown, so the mind control seemed to be a panic move--I wonder if it was even took conscious effort at that point, or just another instinctive SOS from the Warden. Given his father’s trouble with the smallfolk, I have to wonder if it was Former Mayor’s idea, if there was a real reason behind it. Not a reason that would make good sense, but nothing in this arc does make good sense, so.

The thing is, meol was an optional dish. No one was forced to eat it. So Vauthry must not have been relying on controlling or turning anyone.

But despite the fact meol defies their own game logic, Square really did seem to relish hinting at the dehumanizing, Austin Powers “haha fat guy eats people” trope anyway, and seriously. They could do better than that--I hoped they’d BE better than that. But here we are, the company that is supposed to go so hard against harassment takes an easy target and encourages a very specific negative response to it. This is the reason I believe Eulmore was such an inconsistent arc--they almost entirely depended on Vauthry’s appearance to carry the weak narrative, explaining very lttle of his actual motivations because that would ruin their weak-ass “gotcha” that he was the Lightwarden of Kholusia. Of course he’d be evil, just look at him! Right guys? Look! He’s fat! 

Just as they used nothing but thicc’qotes in the trailer to try establishing the evils in Eulmore. Thicc’qotes eating fresh fruit whilst having pleasant conversation is the root of it all in Square’s eye; not a noblewoman who tried to have her maidservant murdered, not the nobleman who pushed his bodyguard over the rails, or even that asshole on the balcony laughing about splitting someone’s head like a melon. No, fatness is the real wickedness. Square was full of shit for this one and it shows when looked at with even a little critical thought. I don’t know what I expected of someone who requested a human “Jabba The Hutt” to be the last-minute midboss, someone who looked at a heavier Lakshmi and said “that’s not cute”, or a jackass who told a cosplayer they needed to lose weight onstage at FanFest 2014.

Even more disappointing? All these questions here, all these inconsistencies? For the majority of the playerbase, “he’s fat” was good enough. The Ascians get a million thoughtful theories. One of their victims? The playerbase thinks he manifested from the womb as you see him in game. They don’t stop to think of what it implied, to be born corrupted and groomed as a tool not only for Ascians, but his own father. They avoid the fact the fandom darling directly violated a woman and child’s bodily autonomy even as they insist on Vauthry taking absolute 100% responsibility for everything he was made specifically to do. And there’s just one difference between him and literally every other villain in this game, aside from the fact he had no choice. Yeah. As much as some players hate to hear it, if Vauthry had swapped models with the fandom darling, we wouldn’t be hearing justifications for mass murder/dictatorships/skeevy noncon. We would definitely be hearing how Vauthry was used, though--and how tragic his story is.

Some players bring up Dulia-Chai as though she somehow counters all the bodyshaming bullshit elsewhere. It doesn’t. She was still in place along with all the other thicc’qotes as Square’s fucked-up shorthand for excess and indolence. I had to learn she kept books for the Stoneworks in optional dialogue. Maybe if she didn’t talk about cakes and such so much, but I mean, that’s what fat people do, right? 

So if you’re laughing at fat men, we fat women know you’re actually laughing at us, too. Git gud or stop embarrassing yourselves.

“Tyranny”, aka you keep using that word, I don’t think it means what you think it means:

Whatever the Ascians did to make sure Vauthry’s "Ascension" was a time-release event, the "madness and fury" clearly had taken him when we met him in Shadowbringers. Punishments for those having broken the laws of the city changed from exile into vicious death sentences. Suddenly the God talk, where not even Alphinaud had heard that. It really makes a case that Vauthry was slowly declining into madness the longer he was exposed to the Warden--in fact, Thancred sort of confirms it, during the trailer: “This town certainly has changed, but not at all for the better.” He was only on The First for five years. 

Vauthry likely had no introspective dialogues because much of who he actually had been was already gone, and the player is left with his remaining drive to do “good” and “justify your existence” wrapped around the instincts of a Lightwarden.

Yet a lot of things remain that really contradict the "bones of the poor" narrative the writers were trying to push about the city, and many times I felt a real disconnect between what our party was saying and what Eulmore was actually doing. A lot of it implies that, despite the Warden utterly subverting Vauthry as per the hard rules of Tempering, there was benevolence at work, once. The Minstreling Wanderer said that he could not say whether Vauthry was wicked in his youth, and I take this as a sign he was not. 

First off, let’s just get this out of the way: The Crystarium also expected you to work for the city in some form if you were expecting to stay there.

”Layabouts”: a people who were the main line of defense against the Sin Eaters for all The First for eighty years, until the futility of it, and all the loss, broke their spirits entirely. Just another sample of how Square intended Eulmore be shown as fat=lazy, despite their own lore--until Square was lazy themselves and didn’t finish the thicc’qote models so Eulmore would be exclusively fat bodies as shown in the trailer. 

The narrative often fudged with writer omnipotence regarding the protagonists, pressing to cast Eulmore in a negative light because they’d given up hope, even though loss is so important in excusing the Ascians’ actions. Our party had the WoL, whom they knew not only had a good chance of defeating Lightwardens, but G’raha seemed to know the WoL could contain them. Your average native inhabitant of the First would not be far off the mark feeling hopeless about the world, though, because they didn’t know about these extraordinary circumstances. Most of their oceans were lost in the Flood, and that in itself, realistically, is a death sentence. It’s all well and good G’raha was so perky and hopeful, and all well and good the game contrived a convenient deus ex machina to fix the issue (they never really addressed the issue anyway), but none of the locals could know any of this. I can see why Eulmore would think the Scions were full of shit, because for 80 years after the Flood, Eulmore tried to stop the Sin Eaters and could not. Honestly, I expected more sympathy for the Eulmorans, because they had been the front line for so long and lost so much. But lol fatties amirite?

Now, Square tried to dabble in many other Enlightened Social Commentaries with Eulmore, but immediately contradicted themselves so many times I was constantly asking myself why Alphinaud was being so goddamn extra dramatic. Gate Town/The Derelicts:

Not at Eulmore’s hand, Alphinaud honey, you can’t solo farms or communities. The people who remained behind were borked over by the ones who left. What are you even trying to say here, Square, help me out. Generosity--”largesse”-- is bad? Abandoning what you have, all others  be damned, for something you were never given a promise of receiving....good? Sympathetic? Seriously, what is your point here, Square? How does this equal Eulmore being malicious? How does this not make the bulk of Gate Town hopefuls a bunch of dipshits? Wright is in sight from Gate Town, but no one ever thought going there might be better?

If Square meant for Eulmore to seem a prison for the “poor”, they did a shitty job of that, considering: 1) A big point about Gate Town was that the people staying there left viable homes, farms, and communities for a chance at getting in, a chance that was never guaranteed by anyone, and they refused any alternatives Alphinaud offered them, plus

2) No one was keeping anyone from leaving if they wanted to. No guards, no masked vigilantes, no rando singing Hotel California in your ear.

So ruthless a prison, there were not only invisible guards holding you against your will, there was an Amarokeep waiting in the Derelicts to whisk you away for 70 gil so you can pretend to make a daring escape, straight to the freebie Amaro that will take you to The Crystarium. Tell your friends! Tell Alphinaud! He will literally buy anything this expac.

- “Young Kai-Shirr” getting into Eulmore was never a “matter of life or death”, and I can’t tell if that was Alphinaud being pretentious again or the writing was just that bad. Kai-Shirr was offered work at the Crystarium and he refused it, “it has to be Eulmore”. How is that on anyone but him? (Plus why does no one ever question Kai-Shirr’s complete lack of caring for why Alphinaud wanted in, if that was true? Was Kai-Shirr then not dooming Alph to “death” instead when he robbed him? That’s not very cash money of him.)  

This isn’t “life or death” either.

Neither is this.

Nnnno. 

Considering Stilltide reported they have fish for all, and Wright’s trouble was not enough people, this is not only not “life or death”, but fucking creepy. Hopefully this better illustrates my confusion of what we were being told vs. what we were being shown in Gate Town/The Derelicts.  d( ᐖ )

- The citizens In Gate Town/The Derelicts were not at the mercy of a "contest" to be let in. It was shown to be literally a help wanted board with jesters, and the “contest” was “do you have this certain skill someone is looking to hire”. I guess the Crystarium will hire a fishmonger to do the work of a chirurgeon or something? 

The jongleurs were otherwise just "rule of cool", I guess--although the significant look the Red gave us, followed soon after by Emet-Selch’s lurking outside the Offer, made me wonder if they were not acting as monitors on Vauthry for the Ascians. 

- There was at least one person in the Derelicts from the Crystarium, looking to make a quick gil on the extravagant “refuse” of the city, and several locals were doing the same. I guess those “layabouts” inside the city had their uses after all, Katliss.

- Meol was not the only food given to those outside the city. Produce and such that was not “pretty” enough for the fussy free citizenry was distributed to those camping the outskirts. 

I’d have expected a “tyrant” to let that produce rot. Catty in Stilltide confirmed there was enough fish for everyone living there, and Zia-Bostt above seems to back that up. Game in the field was also aplenty even in terms of map mechanics--this was not some form of forced famine to hold the smallfolk in a state of dependence. Eulmore was still paying the villages for produce. 

So much for the exploitation of big, bad Eulmore! 

Again, Alphinaud himself bemoaned how the people were there of their own choice, and how they refused any and all alternatives he presented them with. The people in Gate Town wanted to wait for Eulmore, they left their own homes and farms freely for Eulmore, screwing over their neighbors in the process--and that is not Vauthry’s fault, that is on them? 

Hurricane Florence left my husband and I homeless a while. You do not fucking pass up sure shelter and work and food to wait instead for a nebulous chance at Hollywood or Las Vegas--and if you do, that’s all your own tomfoolery, that’s not “injustice”, no BONES OF THE POOR required. It’s common sense, Square, goddamn lol 

The Free Citizenry:

- The rich would not be permitted into the city if they did not give up their wealth  for the benefit of all living there. This was a condition for the rich only. There is zero indication those funds were being put into Vauthry's pocket; it ran the city, and both free and bonded enjoyed the results (there seemed far more bonded residents in Eulmore than free, to boot.). There's a policy that would never fly in at least two allied citystates, lol.

It raises the question, if Wrenden and Former Mayor were so damn equitable, how were there even rich to begin with? There’s an old noble in Vauthry’s Eulmore who apparently does not know how to tie his shoes without a servant--a.k.a., the idle rich existed before Vauthry even came into power. The dialogue of Vauthry’s father also made it seem that these were systems in place long before he his son was even born -- except Vauthry’s system did not allow their hoarding of wealth, and distributed it instead to the benefit of everyone in the city. It was also a system that was so satisfactory, both free and bonded citizens became loudly dissatisfied after he was gone. 

- The rich were the only ones guaranteed “Ascension”, and if you want to call that a perk I’m going to assume it’s because the entire system relied on their dosh--technically, they already did their “work” for the city. (”Buying a stairway to Heaven”, as it were.) So much for those "bones of the poor", Alph. Statistically, if bones built Eulmore, it was the bones of the rich.

Until Gaia, Ascension was only mentioned twice, but again, no real context was given. (jfc Square, we shouldn't have to buy an overpriced lorebook for this.) First time was the Weeping Warbler chain. Going by the quest dialogue, it sounded very much like something offered as mercy to terminal illness or otherwise impending death, as the Warbler's creepy patron lamented how he almost wished he could hasten his own to join her (btw, the right answer to that poor girl's fear that she'd be a burden more than a treasure was "YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR VOICE”,  asshole. >:| ). Players at the time were legit “oh that poor old man, she’s like his daughter :CCCCC” Ahahaha oh my sweet summer children

Either way, "Ascension” was definitely implied to be entirely voluntary. It was implied there were even rules and conditions to be granted it. And Vauthry did not seem to push anyone towards the idea, it was just there. (If it was for terminal illness, though, consider the following: Thoarich seemed confident the Warbler would live, but may lose her voice. If you have to be terminal to be Ascended, ironically Vauthry may have refused her patron's request.) The second mention was from Vauthry himself, for his “trial” when the Lightwarden awakened--so he certainly, tragically, believed what he claimed it was.  The Bonded Residents:

- Even at his worst, there is no indication that the free citizens were encouraged by Vauthry to abuse their workers; in fact, the Amiable Maiden and her Ardent Attendant implied heavily that appreciation and respect for one's bonded was the ideal that was pushed by Eulmore, that "love for one's fellow man". 

At no time were the bonded residents “slaves” (a new accusation from Twitter). They were “bonded” to the patrons who hired them by a work contract, and they sought those jobs willingly. No one kept them from leaving Gate Town, only kept them from getting in without a work arrangement--again, a prerequisite the Crystarium also had according to Katliss. The bonded residents were paid, and apparently paid well. 

As the WoL, we were also bonded to the Chais, and were able to come and go later. It was like the writers knew they needed to sit the fence so the free citizens would be redeemable enough to help with the immersion-breaking giant Talos plot later, and so never pushed Eulmore to the evils they talked about but never showed--leaving behind the most disconnected, self-sabotaging arc I’ve ever seen from this MMO.

An evil slaveowner at work.

Alphinaud rewarded for being an agreeable yet melodramatic young boy.

- The bonded we met who fled Eulmore had fled their patrons, not Vauthry himself--even the Warbler thought Vauthry a “great man”. No one in Eulmore feared him.

- Tristol’s “grave sin” to be patronless and penniless was contradicted by Fathana, whose patron had died some time ago, and yet she remained in the city without one to help new workers--because her patron had been so kind to her. The clerk whom you first speak to upon entering Eulmore even says that if you are “fired” or otherwise lose your patronage, you can try to find another patron to remain in the city or work as a general laborer like Fathana until, presumably, you do find another patron. Or maybe you don’t even need a patron, and you are allowed to stay as your own boss at that point, she certainly was.

Since the Chais helped us leave the city, I’m not at all sure why they didn’t do the same for Tristol, especially if Vauthry’s violence was a well-known thing. It’s almost like violence from Vauthry wasn’t expected, and they’d never think that would happen. I mean, some recent time ago, Vauthry only exiled thieves from Eulmore.

(Hell, Square may have even fudged Tristol’s punishment, implying Vauthry had ordered him tossed off the balustrade of The Offer. Vauthry’s balcony appears to be the one directly above The Path To Glory, right above the gates into Eulmore. There doesn’t seem to be ocean nearby at any realistic distance or angle from that balcony. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

- Laws that we saw in effect were for the benefit of patrons and bonded citizens alike. There was nothing to suggest those laws were unreasonable, either. The punishment became fuck no unreasonable (though as I pointed out earlier, the punishments seemed to ramp up in violence the longer the warden was part of him, from exile to a literal pound of flesh, much like Titania went from a benevolent ruler to Jumpscare Prime). But fraud being a crime is sort of expected anywhere, and creeps at the Beehive should not touch dancers unless dancers consent, lest they get the bouncer. ( another strangely thoughtful law for a “tyrant”. )

- The bonded residents inside seemed much happier with their lot than Alphinaud’s dramatic assessment, which was also confusing as hell. 

-  Entire families were allowed to enter if one member was hired. Alphinaud was able to drag us along with a minimum of fuss as his “assistant”. Vauthry’s definition of how one “gives” to Eulmore was not based solely on traditional work.

- Bonded residents were not afraid at all to speak of bending rules for perfect strangers when offering drinks to us, so Vauthry wasn't out prowling for blood 24/7 like an Inquisitor trying to fill their heretic quota. Not only was Dulia-Chai not afraid to go calm him down at the height of his rage, Chai-Nuzz didn't freak out at the idea she'd do it. Nuzz. Wasn’t nervous. Yeah, let that one sink in 9_6

The only time Vauthry acted seemed to be when an issue was brought forward directly to him. Otherwise, it seemed like standard Lightwarden behavior: stasis, until presented with a real and immediate threat to itself, which in Vauthry’s case was a threat to the order of his city, or the ones killing Lightwardens.

For allegedly being aggressive against Kholusia's neighbors, Vauthry seemed to have taken the Crystarium's refusal of his offer to lead them back in the day really well, as in, he did jack shit in retaliation and accepted it. In fact, he was so warlike, Emet-Selch was surprised Vauthry would move that army, even for a very clear threat against fulfilling the false destiny Emet-Selch forced on him. 

While on the subject of aggression, the people in Amity have dialogue indicating they feared Vauthry would send the army after them--which he obviously never did, in all 20 years of his reign.  

- “No one leaves” except hey whoa there hi, Lue-Reeq, who comes and goes as he pleases. Plus that bonded resident who came to Wright looking for ale. Plus us, also bonded residents, because Dulia-Chai once again had nothing to fear from Vauthry.

Also anyone who was exiled previously. For supposedly wanting to keep people inside Eulmore, Vauthry sure was terrible at doing it lmao

GCBTW: I'd really love to see Square and Alphinaud be similarly vocal and insistent with the actual horrors our own Allied city-states commit without the corruption of a Lightwarden in play. The selective outrage/pearl-clutching is really immersion-breaking.

Ishgard: “Highborn” genuinely exploiting the “lowborn” every other sidequest to this day. Genocide of the Au Ra. At least two FATEs, one job quest, one lorebook entry, and one dungeon indicate Ishgard has fucking disgusting levels of rape carried out by figures of authority. Rent is being charged for people from the Brume--the homeless, destitute people in the Brume--to live in the Firmament, but they can arrange payment plans! And this was all talked about while one of them was shivering in the cold nearby. What, can't the highborn be arsed to share what they have? Eulmore is the height of wickedness because they couldn't cram an island full of people into one tower, but Ishgard's our pal even though they can't manage to make space in their mansions for one small area of one city. My God, Vauthry had FOOD in his chamber, shame!--but that's okay, Aymeric, you rock that extravagant dinner spread in the dating sim cutscene. Maybe the Brume can fight over the Ishgardian Muffin crumbs.

(Yes, I know, Vauthry had more food than that in his chamber. He’s also approaching fifteen-plus feet tall. Proportionally, the food in his chamber would be the equivalent of you or me living on cocktail peanuts and thimbles of water. Once more, Square was so fixated on fatphobia they didn’t do the fucking math.)

Doma: “Hey yeah look guys I know child trafficking is bad but let’s just smile and nod at this guy who did it to Yotsuyu and give him a different post, okay? Okay. Remember to be polite. We will never speak of this again.”

“Let me laugh about your beliefs and call them bullshit while I angle you into a war that isn’t even yours, Xaela tribes.” Gridania: Lets people straight up die if the “elements” tell them it’s okay. Exiling a child for stealing a bag of flower seeds is normal and totally not at all fucked up. Open and accepted racism against the Duskwights with no sign of Kan-E-Senna saying fucking stop that shit.

Ul’dah: Human trafficking. Child trafficking. Human lab rats. Using prisoners for blood sports. The Syndicate living it up in finery, giving exactly nothing to people living in the streets. Notoriously corrupt Brass Blades. More implications of fucking disgusting levels of rape. Turning away the Doman refugees when they literally had nowhere else to go and nothing left. We smiled and nodded when Godbert said people mustn’t be given charity, they must work for their own good.

Limsa Lominsa: Fucks over the “beast tribes” at every opportunity, then complains they summon Primals.

But remember, folks, it was Vauthry’s Eulmore that was the real evil we had to desperately move against. Not the newer, capitalist Eulmore that didn’t feed two guys from Wright because they couldn’t afford it, shoosh those “bones of the poor” don’t count. The writers tried to retcon a lot in 5.1, it seemed--suddenly, it was implied people were forced to leave villages, conscripted, etc. Except the people were still there to tell us otherwise in 5.0, and there was still no sign of any Eulmoran forces keeping them in Gate Town. We went from Alphinaud demanding the free citizens take responsibility for what they’d done in Eulmore to posthumously blaming Vauthry’s “bad influence” for everything up to and including a noblewoman’s attempted murder of her maidservant, because the noblewoman’s husband was creeping on the girl. 

Which leads us to another of my biggest peeves--all the while, despite “the truth” being so important when it came to Emet-Selch, the sins of Vauthry’s father and the suffering his wife and child endured because of Emet-Selch’s direct hand are left unspoken. We smile and nod silently to Eulmorans and then offer them up Vauthry and his “bad influence” as an excuse for their own misdeeds. I’ve never felt less a “hero” in this game as I did then. Yet Emet-Selch, who committed this atrocity on a child, was called a HERO because fandom darling, while the child is vilified and thoroughly dehumanized.

It’s really telling how much blind condemnation the fanbase dealt to Vauthry for reasons that were completely inaccurate, while the fandom darling of this expansion was 100% the founder of not one, but two civilizations based on domination, the most recent being a nation whose canon creed is  "No lands must remain beyond our grasp. Go forth. Conquer. Rule.", a nation whose people have a habit of calling all the “lesser races” they conscript “savages”. Fandom Darling was also hype af for Black Rose and called it worthy of his bloodline! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

It’s really telling that the fanbase will randomly accuse Vauthry of being a sexual predator with Sin Eaters based on exactly zero evidence (but a lot of projection on their part), while the fandom darling 100% canonly used the actual Solus zos Galvus’ enthralled body to sire a child with Galvus’ unwitting wife, and going by the dialogue--

--he’s done that before. No wonder consent was no big deal when he made that offer to Former Mayor. But this was played for sympathy because fandom darling and what do you know, the fandom bought it.

Square “both sided” actual authoritarian characters--actual colonizers, actual mass murderers of entire worlds, actual skeevy-ass characters who don’t care about consent because “not really alive”--called it “heroic”, even (the latter was called “moral relativism”, and it’s genuinely unnerving how many players pushed that as absolution or relatable)--but throughout the course of the main expansion and two subsequent patches,Square went all-in that the fat guy who had his agency and sanity stolen from him in utero to be used as a tool of destruction was the real tyrant. We the player were encouraged to buddy up with E-S while we were never once given the option to wonder if something was terribly amiss with Vauthry, if he may need help. They didn’t even spare us a “jfc that poor man, the Eaters got to him” when he blindly twisted his neck 180 to neither see nor hear us. He was still “evil” because reasons, a.k.a., he was fat.

TL;DR, the playerbase: 

I remain unconvinced the Ancients were not clever enough to suspect summoning the “Will Of The Star” may have an effect on their own wills, as their wishes for Zodiark carried an unspoken need for the Elder Primal to be granted control to achieve its end. Emet-Selch stated that Tempering was to be “expected”, even “natural”, though his appearance towards the end of 5.3 seems to contradict Tempering: has there ever been another instance that a Tempered being was able to act directly against the best interests of the primal that holds them in thrall? Elidibus sure couldn’t. 

Disclaimer: I actually have no issue with liking the Ascians, be it shipping, writing, art, porn mods, whatever. But if you come into my yard with nothing but shit talk for Vauthry on reblogs of my art, yet have all the praise for the one who made him, you’re going to hear in my personal space about why you’re a hypocrite. Often. With receipts.

The End.

First off, it’s popular in the fandom to say the Lightwarden was Vauthry’s real body because it’s just so damn inconvenient to the dating sim mentality that the fat guy was the default. Thing is:

That is Innocence’s head and its wings inside Vauthry’s split-open back during the pre-phase two “transformation”. Between that and the second face that appeared to cave in most of Vauthry’s chest (on the heart side, interestingly enough), the face whose eyes opened and glowed upon the Warden’s “awakening”:

It doesn’t look at all like it was a “transformation”.  It looks like the Lightwarden emerged and absorbed what was left of its host’s physical form while still retaining Vauthry’s broken mind.  (Notice the nose, much longer than Vauthry’s actual nose, eye spacing, the bit of smile. That second face was the Warden.)

Before his death, Vauthry did not say "well dang, the Ascians promised I would be all-powerful so I could be evil! Curse them for cheating me!"

He said "Father told me...that I am hope. That I am righteousness. That I am...a god... That is why I was born...as man and sin eater both...I kept the people safe!"

Those lines make no sense if Vauthry interpreted Father’s manipulations as "haha I'm a spoiled evil brat I can do what I want". A spoiled evil brat wouldn't need to be convinced what they were doing was GOOD, would they? Why would that even have been a thing, wouldn't they just not care? He had the power to not give a shit. Instead, he would see his peoples’ “dreams fulfilled, their wishes granted.” EDIT - Canon as of 5.3 appears to support this analysis! \o/ 

Spoken at the end by G’raha Tia on the subject of enduring hope, and additionally supported by the Minstreling Wander, who told us in the Immaculate EX unlock he could not say if Vauthry was wicked in his youth. ”Vindicate his existence”. Vauthry was never in this for the evil selfish lulz. He believed he needed to prove the “half Sin Eater” heritage forced on him did not make him a monster, that it was good, that he was good, and he did it by doing everything he was gaslighted to believe was good by his father--until the Warden finally broke him entirely. To the people who debated so strongly he was just evil because reasons, or refused to hold other characters to the same standards of damnation they set for him because reasons, hope your shoe tastes good. Your reasons were always really clear, btw.

This remains the story of a child who needed a hero that never came, and players choose to discard it, like the free citizens snub produce, because Vauthry isn’t pretty enough for them. A fat character’s stolen life simply isn’t worth the effort of contemplation because the one who made him makes players horny on main.

What happened to this character, with just the little information the game gave us, was straight-up abuse. Yet too many in the fanbase thought no further than juvenile fat jokes (so cool) or unquestioning contempt for a character who was clearly in a state of mental breakdown (unless it was the fandom darling, he’s allowed, even if it destroys worlds) --while Square readily had their characters ace detective enough to detect his weight, but not his unnatural height, his pointed ears, his fogged over eyes, his bendy-straw neck, his second freaking face. Oh, and he can control Sin Eaters. Wait, you mean the Lightwarden was in him the whole time!? Seems legit gais, what an unexpected turn of events! 

ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ

[ravenforce]

Take Care of You

Requested by: @zhellas

Prompt: The Lena Luthor that could come first is that Lena meets the Reader during... something, and starts acting like the Reader's sugar mama (like a sugar daddy, but female): Hiring them on as a personal "assistant", buying them nice things, etc. Can be NSFW if you want.

Pairing/s: Lena Luthor x Reader

Word Count: 1804

Warning/s: None as I’m a really shitty smut writer, so I avoid it. LMAO.

A/N: I’m sorry this took a while, my brain went to sleep for. I’m also not sure what I did here, I’m sorry if it sucks.

***

A couple of months after starting work at L-Corp you've officially moved into your new apartment and is settling down in NC nicely. With you on Lena's team, her work in the lab has been dramatically reduced for which she's thankful for; she can actually go home at a decent hour. Like today, she finished her paperwork and emails earlier than she expected. So she decided to come down the lab and was pleasantly surprised to see you sitting on your chair and staring at the ceiling.

"Burning the midnight oil, Y/N?" she asked as a way to announce her presence. For your part, she was impressed you didn't startle and fall off.

"Yes. I'm just thinking," you said before looking at her while she's leaning a foot away from you on your table.

The moment your eyes met, Lena couldn’t help but reach out and touch your face. You shivered as she runs a finger against your cheeks, down to your jaw but held her eye all the way.

"You look tired," you whispered, mouth suddenly dry. She smiled at you. Even though you work for her, Lena considers you her friend first and she cares about you.

"Let's go home?" She asked.

You nodded and reached for the hand she still has on your cheeks and walked out of the lab together. You've been skirting around your feelings for each other ever since you met. Between being new in the city, and becoming her employee there just doesn't seem to be a good time to tell her but you're exhausted, so when she didn't drove you to your apartment and asked you to just stay over you didn't question her.

You didn't question her when she helped you undress, and pushed you towards her bed. You didn't question her when she wrapped her body next to you, wrapping you in her warmth. You didn't question her when she planted a soft, quick kiss good night in the corner of your mouth. You didn't question her when it became a regular occurrence - her picking you up at the lab and staying over her penthouse. You didn't question her about intentions, feelings, and endgames; you simply just relish on the attention Lena's giving.

***

It worked for well for a while, Lena bathing you with her attention and care. She doesn't care about labels, she wants you and she knows you feel the same way. She likes you, and she's not shy about expressing that the best way she knows how.  She doesn't care if it's way too extra to fly you to Cuba in her private jet after you spent a week coup up in the lab finishing a certain project of hers. She doesn't mind buying you that designer dress that probably the cost of your whole year rent for the L-Corp gala where she asked you to be her date.

Of course, sometimes it bothers you how much money Lena is spending on you. You tried to complain about it a lot and every time she makes a purchase without consulting you.

"Lee, seriously?" You asked as you hand back the key to a new car she just gave you.

"You don't like it? We can get you a different one," she answered, brows furrowed.

"No, it's not that. I just don't want people to think I'm with you because of your money," you explained with a small frown.

She traced the pad of her thumb across your lips. "I don't care what everyone thinks. I know our truth."

She pulled you in for a brief kiss that didn't fail to still take your breath away. "Just let me take care of you," she said leaning her forehead against yours.

***

The only downside of not being officially together are the people who think they can flirt with you. As to why she still hasn't made it official is beyond her. Maybe it's the notion at the back of her head that you're too good for her? That someone as good as you deserve someone better than a Luthor? Or the idea that something as good as what you have together can be ripped away from her? Whatever it is, she realized she ought to have made it official between the two of you so people can back the fuck away.

But she hasn't, so she's left gritting her teeth as she watches someone flirt with you again at the alien bar. You were both there with the Super Friends when a gorgeous brunette with legs for days sidled next to you while waiting for your drinks. Lena seethed in her seat as she watches the girl slipped a paper (with her number no doubt) on the front pocket of your shirt before you walked back to the table. Lena frowned when you didn't discard the paper and ignored you all night after that; you were oblivious and baffled when she ignored your messages for days after.

You thought that working with Lena means she couldn't avoid you but you couldn't be more wrong. Lena, it seems, has been doing everything in her power to stir clear of you. You wouldn't even know Lena left for Switzerland if it wasn't for Alex casually and accidentally mentioning it over lunch at Noonan's, which promptly earned her an elbow from Kara. You thought of asking them for advice but you don't know the extent of their knowledge about your relationship with Lena.

When you got back to the lab that afternoon, you wondered if it's over between the two of you. By the third week, you just stopped trying. You love her, you do but damn it if you would allow her to drag you along any further. You deserve an explanation, you deserve to know what you did wrong and a chance to fix it instead of the silent treatment.

By the fourth week, Lena has already processed her feelings and is ready to talk. She summoned you in her office the moment she landed back from Switzerland.

"Ms. Luthor, you asked for me?" You greeted formally. She bristled at your very professional tone, and you never called her by her last name before. But she's a bigger idiot if she didn't anticipate your anger. So she came prepared with your favorite flowers (peonies), chocolates and a new watch from Geneva.

"Hi," she said as she rounded her desk and leaned in front of it.

You didn't respond, you just continued staring at her. When she met your eye, she fought the urge to frown. You look worn down and hasn't seen a bed in weeks.

"What happened? You look exhausted," she asked clearly concerned.

"I got busy," you cut yourself from explaining what you've been up to.

You wanted to tell her you've been helping other R&D projects at L-Corp to keep yourself from coming home early and having to deal with your murky thoughts. You wanted to tell her you couldn't sleep in your own bed because she misses you there, so you come to Alex's and share a bed with her and Kelly. God bless those two for looking after you this past month or you would have died of forgetting when you need to eat or sleep.

"Do you actually need something from me? I have actual work to do," you sighed out.

"I..uhm...I just wanted to give you these," she said, mentioning towards the package on her table.

You gave her a small smile, "I'm sorry Ms. Luthor, I can't accept that." You stood up and promptly walked towards her door. She frowned, she messed up really bad with you and she doesn't know what to do.

***

Turn out she does know what to do. After your disastrous encounter at her office today, Lena went directly to your apartment bearing your favorite Chinese takeout, a bottle of wine, and a sheepish smile. When you opened the door, Lena was the last person you expected there.

"Can I come in? I have Chinese," she said in lieu of a greeting and pulling her hand up to show the food bags.

You opened the door wider to let her in, and she went directly to the counter to set down the food. Her familiarity with where everything is in your kitchen makes your heart ache. You're mad and still a little hurt but you miss her. When she finished plating, she found you staring at her.

"Come here," she beckoned softly while sitting on the dining table.

You squinted at her. God knows you tried to resist but the urge to be near her again is overwhelming. You took slow steps towards her, and you didn't stop until you're standing between her parted legs. She looked up at you, eyes soft and genuine.

"I'm sorry love," she whispered, arms coming to wrap around your waist.

"What happened?" You asked as you unconsciously ran your hand through her dark tresses.

She sighed heavily and explained to you how she got jealous when someone flirts with you but couldn't do anything because no one knows you're together. She explained how she felt undeserving of you, of how she felt you might be better off without a Luthor, how you deserve more than a Luthor. She explained how she decided to stay away but clearly couldn't because she misses you. She explained how there was not a day where she didn't think of you.

"I love you," Lena admitted. You were shocked she said it first.

"I want to take care of you for as long as you'll have me," she continued.

Your heart rate picking up. Is she? You thought. "Lee, are you?"

"No, no baby. At least not yet," she answered, smiling hopefully at you. "But I'd like you to move in with me," she continued and you gasped in surprise.

"Why?" It's not that you didn't want to live with her, you do. She gave you an exasperated look.

"Look, I love your place but the penthouse has a better security feature and amenities. If you move in with me, you can save by carpooling," she explained in her best CEO voice. She's selling it hard, and you can't help but laugh.

"Fine, but I'm paying the bills and the groceries."

Lena knitted her brows together. "Just the groceries, and then we have a deal." You rolled your eyes at her. There's no winning with her when she sets her mind into something.

"Deal," you said, extending your hand. She laughed before she took your hand and tug you against her.

"Seal it with a kiss love," she said turning her head upwards so you could have full access on her mouth. You chuckled at her silliness before leaning down and kissing her soft lips.