#god i can never remember my moodboard tags i think it's

[clumsyclifford]

“We’re not gonna die today, though.” “No, we’re not.”

a demigods!malum moodboard inspired by Win or lose I’m screwed by my sweet betrothed and recipient of my holiday edit exchange edit @cringeycal

[bidisasterevankinard]

Inspirational Saturday

hi everyone, I was barely active cause mental health is a bitch and I wasn't writing for days, but today i finally broke this block and started a new wip I named "please, stop twisting knife(never wanted to cause your pain)" where Eddie is going to be engaged to a wrong guy for a moment and date this guy for longer moment, not seeing how he destroys his and Buck's friendship (Buck's insecurities and Eddie the king of denial Diaz are gonna be in the fic for long time) I was tagged today by @monsterrae1 <33 meet the moodboard and 966 words of angst I wrote cause I wasn't posted for a moment

“I still don't know how I can help choose the ring for the guy I met like …,” Buck tries to remember all the situations he was with Alec at least in one room,  “3 times? And let's not forget he is not my biggest fan,” Buck says, trying to sound casual. But everyone in the shop, except Eddie, looks strange at him. “Don’t you think Chris, Pepa, Hen, Karen, Chim or Maddie, Bobby or Athena, hell even Ravi, could be a better choice? They at least know him.” 

“And he would not be angry with you for spending time with them. Them not me,” is left unspoken, but Buck has to bite his lip hard not to let it slip from him.

Buck turns away from Eddie, who looks so beautiful and joyful admiring rings. His face has this pure happiness and smile, Buck would be drinking like crazy, like the most thirsty man alive, seeing the purest water, if it wasn’t the face Eddie has because he wants to marry someone else. The guy who made them strangers. Even if Eddie keeps trying to deny it. 

They are not family. They do not have movie nights or dinners, or even fucking calls and texts between them. Buck, thank god to Chris’ stubbornness, has it only with a boy. Mostly calls or texts, of course, because dinners or movies are barely even possible in between Buck’s shifts, Chris' school and social life. Plus to it Eddie and Alec’s attempt to create a family by constantly having family activities, and Buck left behind so easily. 

He is just a memory now. And he always would remember who he was all those years. Temporarily replacement of a missing part for the third member of Diaz household, while Eddie was getting ready to find someone to be permanent. While he was getting ready to let someone take this place to never leave again. 

Really, Buck is not even surprised he was so easily replaced. Just some words from Alec about him wanting Eddie to spend less time with Buck, Buck saying yes man, no problem, and now they are here. Him being not even a friend for Eddie. But just a guy who he still works with. 

Eddie can deny it how he wants, but they are not friends anymore. They are closer to being strangers than friends. 

Isn’t it the most painful of all of this situation?

Buck thought he had Eddie on his side forever, but he lost him too fast. He couldn’t even say a word because Eddie is happy. And why shouldn't he be? 

He has an amazing partner and the best teenager in the world as a family. They are adopting the cat soon. Eddie and Alec want to buy a house together because they started to talk about a new kid in the future, and they just want more space for their family. Family where Buck would not have any place because he is not wanting here by big part. And he wouldn’t even try to make Alec angry trying to be here. 

Just the thought that he knows all about Eddie’s plans for the future from someone, not from him, makes Buck sick, like someone twisting the knife into his guts, so he tries to concentrate on the rings the seller shows them. 

At least about the engagement he found out from Eddie. 

But Buck wishes to hear it from anyone else. Seeing Eddie’s face today, when the knocks on his door was too long and too exciting, almost screaming in Buck’s face how he needed to find the perfect ring right now and Buck should help him, destroyed part of his heart he considered dead for weeks, maybe even months, to never be recovered ever again.

He felt and still feels the sharp blade opening his back, cutting out his lungs to get to his heart, sticking and leaving the knife in his almost non-beating organ.

Buck can’t stop thinking, if he would be staying alive a little longer after lighting, would it feel the same, or would a heartbreak by the man who had your heart in his hands for years be way worse? Should Buck buy the suit for his funeral and not Eddie’s wedding?

“Yeah, I could ask them, but it would make no sense to buy the ring with them as they are not my best friend and not gonna be my best man,” Eddie grins at him sheepishly and Buck just forces the smile he perfected for years, making people believe he is fine. 

He never used it with Eddie.

“Best friends, huh? What I was doing for the last nine months, Eddie? What books have I read? What movies have watched? Who is my celebrity crush of the week? A year ago you would answer easily. Now you don’t even know I’m moving to the house I bought some weeks ago.”

It rushes through his brain, making Buck hate himself for being petty and not staying truthful to his words to always have Eddie’s back, even though he knows for Eddie it means nothing now, but not for him. 

For him it was a vow he takes with him to grave. So he presses his little overgrown nails so deep into the skin of his palm that he almost feels like cutting through the skin, and says, “I’m proud to be your best man. Let’s try to choose the perfect ring.”

Buck swallows blood in his mouth from all the organs being crushed and chopped into bloody soup inside him when Eddie just smiles like he can’t see - and Buck hates that he actually can’t, that Eddie never saw him - how he breaks him and shows Buck two rings he likes the most.

tagging @wikiangela @tizniz @wildlife4life @watchyourbuck @exhuastedpigeon @elvensorceress @eddiebabygirldiaz @rainbow-nerdss @rogerzsteven @the-likesofus @thewolvesof1998 @theotherbuckley @transboybuckley @underwater-ninja-13 @puppyboybuckley @paranoidbean @pirrusstuff @anakinfallen @spaceprincessem @spotsandsocks @spagheddiediaz @devirnis @daffi-990 @diazsdimples @fortheloveofbuddie @gaydiaz @giddyupbuck @heartshapedvows @hippolotamus @honestlyeddie @honestlydarkprincess @hoodie-buck @housewifebuck @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @ladydorian05 @loserdiaz @caroandcats @bigfootsmom @bekkachaos @buddierights @mandzuking17 @malewifediaz @steadfastsaturnsrings @ghost-cowboy @911onabc and anyone who wants

[khruschevshoe]

OFMD Critique: Bad Faith, Fandom, and Respect

All right. You know what? Screw it. I saw one post I just cannot ignore anymore that encapsulated all of my problems with the fandom right now. Personal rant incoming.

I understand that there's a nuance to the discussion of season 2 of Our Flag Means Death, and that there are people going a little too far with both their critiques and their support of the show. But oh my God, I'm tired of being straw-manned and made fun of for legitimate critiques of the show.

I just used the block button on someone in this fandom for the first time. Some of you might think I'm overreacting for this, but I saw a post that I could not on any level stand. This person, who I will not name names of, because I'd rather just block them and never deal with their level of bad faith again, took their one legitimate criticism of those of us who critique the show, the back and forth on whether or not Izzy's death was homophobic or not, and used it as the first in a literal list of straw man critiques that no one I've read in the OFMD Critical tag has made (and I check it like once a day bc I like reading meta, sorry), proceeding to absolutely make fun of the legitimate critiques that people have of the show, parodying them in the worst possible ways. They took our legitimate critiques about everything from the sexist handling Zheng Yi Sao's character, the absolute ableism of the finale, the questionable optics of the handling of trauma, etc. and stretched them into things that they very much were not (two examples were that we were crying ableism bc of something to do with seagulls and that we thought the problem in the Stede&Zheng dynamic was the "emotional labor" involved).

Now I'm pretty sure this post was a joke. I *think* it was a joke. But how in the world am I supposed to feel comfortable in the main section of a fandom like this when the comments and replies to this post were full of people agreeing sincerely that this is what the critical section of the fandom is like? How am I supposed to feel when I just see people making fun of me for my analysis of the show? I love this show. I adore season 1 and I'm clearly still making fan related content (moodboards) for season 2 along with my critiques.

Sure, I vibe way more with fanfiction than the actual canon at this point, but I still genuinely engage with the show. And to have the critiques that I made in good faith, regarding issues that I sincerely care about such as ableism, sexism, homophobia, and the handling of trauma, made fun of and taken out of context and straw-manned to their extreme, makes me feel so absolutely unwelcome in this fandom.

Other than keeping up with the couple of fan series that I'm currently still reading, I don't know if I can stay in this fandom any longer. I can't say that I'm excited for the new season if this is the kind of response that any good faith critique of the show is going to get. I can't say that I feel safe or comfortable when there are this many people ready to dog pile on me for a critique I made with ACTUAL TEXTUAL EVIDENCE to back it up.

I would like to thank all the people who have been making excellent critiques of the show. Their meta-analysis is what got me into making my own critiques, which I was nervous about making in any other fandom. I don't think I've in any way tagged them all, but just a few I can remember off the top of my head. Go read their critiques/meta- it's really good!

@sky-fire-forever @carrymelikeimcute @blue-b-bro @bougiebutchbinch @treesofgreen @sixstepsaway @alex51324

And from the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who has engaged with my mood boards or my critiques or anything else that I've made, as well as the amazing writers and artists in this fandom (such as @ruecrown, @aletterinthenameofsanity, @fool-for-luv, and @possumsmushroom). You guys have kept me going with my love for the show and engaging with it for a while now. Despite the stuff that is making me take a step back now, I really did love this while it lasted! I'm still planning on making a few more mood boards, but other than that, I'm going to take a step back from engaging.

Hope this post can spread enough support/joy your way to counteract the ache I'm currently feeling!

Sincerely,

Ashley (aka @khruschevshoe)

[renaiswriting]

Shadows of Desire (part 10)

Pairing: Yoon Jeonghan/Reader

Summary:

You always thought the only romance you would experiment with in your life was the one between pages under the flames at midnight. That was until you found him, because the feel of his fangs digging into your neck was more than addictive.

Word count: +5.4k words

Warnings: Mentions of death, mentions of blood.

If you want to be tagged, please fill out the tag list form.

Author's note: shout-out to my Shadows of Desire playlist because it really helped me find inspiration to write this part lol

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"Are we running out of garlic again— Hey! Wow, why are you so jumpy?"

 

You looked in and shook at Luke as he lifted the mess you had made without missing the swearing coming from his mouth.

 

You apologized, but your shoulders were still tense.

 

"I don't know," you replied, noticing that Luke was still expecting an answer. "I just had a bad dream, I guess."

 

The memories and the well-lived sensations came back to your mind once again, and the ghost of a person you thought you knew made an appearance in your mind.

 

"You've been locked in your room way too much lately," Luke clicked his tongue, and I don't think it's doing you any favors. Maybe you should go outside for a while. Why don't you go and pick some blueberries? Mark told me there are barely any left. God knows when we will have some jam if we don't use it now."

 

"I don't know..." Luke frowned, sitting down on your bed and looking at your current state.

 

"Why not? It was never an issue before. Want me to go with you?"

 

"You hate going there." You shook your head. "I'll think about it, alright?" You offered, but your poor attempt to fool Luke was in vain.

 

"I'll go and get Mark if you want to go with someone; maybe that friend of yours could tag alone as well?"

You froze on your spot.

 

Your heartbeat quickly started picking up, and your hands suddenly felt way too cold.

 

"No."

 

Luke looked at you weirdly.

 

"I don't want to see him."

 

"What happened?" Luke asked. "Did he do something?"

 

You stared at Luke.

 

What could you answer to that question?

 

You were still pretty confused yourself.

 

Technically, it was a bad dream.

 

Like the one you had years ago where you stole Susan's sheep and made a meal with them.

 

It wasn't real.

 

But the feeling was so real that it did make you feel like you were the most horrible monster ever.

 

And even though you could still tell it was a dream, you weren't so sure this time.

 

It had felt so real.

 

You could remember every single thing that had happened in front of your eyes.

 

Every single thing

 

And that made your head feel dizzy.

 

The lines that differentiated between what was real and what was a product of your mind were blurry.

 

"No." You finally spoke. "I just think it would be for the best for me to stay away from him. At least just for some time."

 

"Keep him from taking you the wrong way." Luke nodded. "Why don't you go and have tea with Susan? A woman can only be truly understood by another woman."

 

"Yeah, maybe." You nodded, and Luke thankfully took it. That was the best he would get anyway.

"Mark is going tonight." Luke informed me, cleaning his throat, not knowing where to look. You wanted to laugh; he was usually really awkward whenever he tried to comfort you.

 

"I'll bake a pie then." You promised. Your words had the effect you were expecting, taking some of the worry off Luke's face.

 

"If you want to." He shrugged, but there was a pleasing smile on his face. You could tell he was already looking forward to the dessert. "We're running out of fruits, though." He mentioned it on his way out of your room. "You might want to go and buy some before it's too late."

You wanted to slap yourself.

 

Of fucking course you were running out of fruits; you have been eating them every day as if it were your last meal.

 

And not just fruits.

 

You have been doing everything as if it were your last.

You weren't sure if it was because you have always loved fruits and the eating part helped you calm down from all your nervousness and anxiety or if your body was genuinely making you devour everything that was in front of you because there was a thin chance of it being your last.

"Luke I don't want to go alone." You cried, jumping from your bed to rush towards the front door where Luke was standing, putting his biggest jacket over his shoulders.

 

"I'm sorry, but I cannot go with you. I still own them some money; if I go there, they will not let me live." Luke replied, taking his favorite hat from the chair.

 

"Are you going to Mark's?" You asked hopefully.

 

"Yeah, but only to bring back my beer. I bought a lot in the bar last night, and I was so drunk that he fooled me into giving it to him. He's not going to be back until it's dinner time."

"Can't you really not go on your own?" Luke sighed frustratedly, trying to free himself from your hold on his arm.

"I will try." You mumbled, the pout in your face not really doing anything to make Luke change his mind.

 

"It will only take ten minutes." He reassured you, "Are you sure you want to go in your pajamas?"

It was dark.

Not peach-dark.

But dark nonetheless.

The sky was slowly turning from pink to purple, dark blue, and finally black.

And the birds making sudden noises were making your heart beat as if you were in a race.

You hated the way you had the urge to turn your head with every step you took.

 

You saw a girl walking in front of you, and that somewhat made you feel safer.

 

At least you weren't completely alone.

 

You forced yourself to take a deep breath and stop walking.

Breathe, you reminded yourself.

And for the next ten minutes, as you wandered deeper into the darkness of the tall trees that covered what was left of the light, you kicked at a rock you had found on the ground.

Somehow, it helped.

It was not a person.

Or an animal.

But you felt somewhat accompanied.

Less lonely.

Oh, Jiji, you lamented that the poor thing was probably still in a lot of pain from the snakebite she had come up with earlier that morning.

That's what she gets for wandering around at night, you thought, shaking your head.

Luke had made you swear that you would let Jiji sleep outside one night because every morning he woke up with the living room full of the remains of Jiji's needs.

The poor dog had almost no outlet to do any of her business at night.

But you couldn't help it; you were afraid something bad would happen to her.

This time it was a snake bite, but next time it might be a bite from a...

No.

Nothing like that

Stop it.

But obviously, it was easier said than done.

All those memories, all those sensations... Your heart was still aching against your chest, beating so fast whenever you caught yourself wandering around that nightmare.

It was like your lungs suddenly had trouble holding in air because no matter how much you tried to breathe, the air was never enough.

It was difficult to correctly classify all the emotions you experienced when you couldn't help but think about them.

Were those images simply a figment of your mind, a twisted fantasy that your subconscious was trying to prove?

You had never experienced anything similar; all your dreams, no matter how beautiful or terrifying they had been, were always a blur.

When you woke up, you could remember, on a good day, at least a quarter of what you had actually dreamed.

If anyone asked you, there were only a handful of dreams that you could actually remember, and even these had not been as sharp as those of that night.

Jeonghan... You had come to consider him a friend.

 

He had earned a soft spot in your heart.

 

You felt like a stupid young girl.

 

Had it all been a game to him?

 

What was it?

 

All this time, all the shared moments? All the nights you'd asked him to stay with you while you were falling asleep, so vulnerable, you'd left it up to him to do whatever he wanted.

 

You swallowed the saliva that had accumulated in you dryly; the knot in your stomach didn't seem to go away.

 

Your fists clenched, and you kicked the rock as hard as you could in the direction of the nearest tree.

 

Maybe all those times Luke and Mike teased you, telling you that you weren't ready for the real world, they were right.

Walking in the direction where the poor rock that had accompanied you up to that moment had fallen, you let yourself fall beside it.

 

You drew your legs up to your chest, allowing your elbows to jab against your knees.

 

Your hands covered your face as a frustrated sigh escaped through your fingers.

 

You hated it. The way your heart was still beating fast as, with your free hands, you pulled the dagger out of your back that Jeonghan had plunged into you

 

You had trusted him so much.

 

Maybe his friend sensed it.

 

Maybe he hadn't been the true villain you had believed him to be.

The nausea suddenly became more noticeable as the realization formed in your mind.

 

His friends.

 

Fuck.

 

They were probably part of it.

 

Monsters.

 

All of them.

 

The ones who hated you

 

The ones who didn't want Jeonghan to hang out with you

 

Those who didn't even want to see you a kilometer closer to Jeonghan.

Alarm bells began to ring in your brain, and your body was, once again, at the beginning of a crisis.

 

Even with the big gulps of air you were trying to inhale, the feeling that you were suffocating didn't stop.

The palms of your hands made contact with the ground, with different branches, sharp rocks, and wet grass tearing at your skin on contact.

 

Your eyes were wide open like two saucers, and tears were starting to fall down your cheeks without your permission.

 

Were you about to die?

 

You had never had such a near-death experience, but you were sure you were half a foot away from passing to the other side.

 

The memory of that dream popped into your mind, almost as if mockingly asking you, "Are you sure you were never about to die before?"

 

A cold hand landed on the center of your back; his body invaded the ground, glued to yours, while with his other hand he tried to move his face to the ground.

 

You screamed.

 

Or so you thought, because you felt a heartbreaking burning sensation in your throat.

 

Your hands moved quickly from the floor, where they had been supporting your weight, to try to fight whoever was there.

 

But now that your body was still leaning on the ground without your hands to help distribute the weight, you lost your balance, making you shut your eyes, ready for the impact of your face hitting the ground.

Your heart skipped a beat when the words careful hit your ear.

 

Jeonghan was holding you close to his chest.

 

Your hearing was trying to sharpen as much as possible so you could catch a hint of a heartbeat.

 

But all you could hear was your own heart thudding against your ear.

"Shhh." Jeonghan spoke low, his voice entering your ears like a spell. "Breathe," he instructed. "Take five deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Can you do that? Can you do that for me?"

"You... You came to—you're going to kill me." You replied, your voice almost impossible to understand because of your gasping breath. Your eyes wouldn't stop leaking tears, your eyes were red and puffy, and your nose was running.

"Breathe." Jeonghan replied, trying to bring your altered mind back to his simple instructions. "Copy the way I'm breathing."

His cold hands were holding you as close to him as possible without actually hurting you.

But instead of calming you, his presence was having the opposite effect.

You started kicking and slapping his arms and hands away from you.

The slapping on his hands shocked him enough to let you go, and as soon as you were out of his hold, you moved as far from him as possible without standing up.

 

His eyes were on your face, studying your every move. Both of his hands were raised, facing you, so you could see his movements.

 

"(Y/n). Please breathe; you're going to hyperventilate." He sat down in a much more comfortable position, but that slight change in posture was enough to send you into panic mode once again. "I won't move, alright? Look at me. I'm here. I won't move closer." He stated this, even moving a few centimeters back.

 

"You're going to hurt me; you came here to finish what you attempted to start, god knows when." You shook your head in disbelief. Your words were slowly becoming more understanding as you were starting to accept your fate. "Did you invite them? Are they around?"

 

"Them? Who are you talking about? It's just me. Jeonghan." He replied, looking confused enough. His right hand was where his heart, if he were still a human and alive, should be beating.

"Your friends." You replied. Your eyes were still red, and old tears were still on your cheeks. Your eyes were looking at him, but they were emotionless. All the previous crying had somehow drained you of any other feeling.

 

This was it. You thought. There's no going back now. There's not a single chance to get away with this, not alive at least.

 

I hope I taste awful. The thought came to your mind, and a wave of angriness started to build inside of you. I hope they all get poison from my blood. I hope they remember me for being the worst they have ever tasted.

 

"I'm not with them." Jeonghan replied, looking defeated. His eyes traveled from your face to the ground, and a frown was visibly on his forehead. It felt out of place. His face didn't match those expressions.

"So you came here to have me all to yourself?" you laughed. The lack of grace in your laughter was more than evident.

 

"No." Jeonghan replied, backing away a few steps as if the very question was physically hurting him. As if your words were daggers stabbing him. "I'm not going to hurt you."

 

"But you tried to."

 

"(Y/n)..." Jeonghan stood up, walking five steps closer to you.

 

"You did. Back off. Now. I don't want you near me."

"I'm not here to hurt you; I'm here to protect you. I want to talk with you." Jeonghan replied, his voice sounding like a plea.

 

"And if I say no, then what will happen? Will you play with my mind, with my memories, the way you have been doing all this time?" You replied angrily. "I don't know what games you're playing, but I'm out. I won't take part in it any longer."

"You played with my memories; do you have any idea of how fuck up that is? Do you even know how fucked up it is to wake up not sure of what's real and what's not?" You added. "No, you have no idea." You replied to yourself before Jeonghan even got a chance to reply.

 

"I didn't mean for you to get this scared of me."

 

"Well, it's a little bit too late for that."

"I only ever meant to protect you. I swear. I never tried to hurt you."

"Shut up. I don't want to listen to you. I don't want to see you. Just go and leave me alone. You and all the others that are just like you."

Jeonghan frowned once again. "It just doesn't make sense. I don't understand what could have possibly happened for you to get so—what did you see?"

 

"And now you're going to play dumb?" You were sick of it. I'm sick of the situation and of Jeonghan. You stood up, starting once again on your way to the place where you should already be.

 

You wondered if Luke was already back.

 

Did he realize you were not home yet?

 

"(Y/n)! Wait." Jeonghan ran to walk next to you. "Please, I think there's something wrong."

 

"Besides what you did?" You asked sarcastically.

 

Jeonghan holds you by your wrist, making it impossible for you to escape from his grip.

"Don't touch me." You spoke with a much braver voice than you really felt.

In reality, you wished for nothing else but for Jeonghan to tell you it had been just a bad dream.

A nightmare.

"You were lying down. In the ground. There was blood. Lots of blood. I tried to help you, but you stood up and tried to kill me." Your eyes naturally moved to his half-open mouth, his shinny teeth, and his sharp fangs, which only now were a little bit too sharp for them to be considered... Normal.

His eyebrows drew so close together that they almost seemed to form a unibrow. If there had been any more color in his face at that moment, it would have been gone.

 

The cold night breeze did nothing to stop the shivers and shivering that ran through your body. Your feet and hands were already frozen, and you didn't need to see your reflection to know that both your cheeks and nose were red.

The breeze blowing through the dampness that had left such a cry helped keep you grounded in reality.

 

What Jeonghan had already done, you had no way to change.

 

As much as you wanted to beg and wish it were otherwise, what was done was done.

 

"No, that's not—those are not the memories that I hide from you; that doesn't—listen. That's not what happened that night; it wasn't me that did that. It was someone else." Jeonghan spoke quickly, his words barely making sense as he started a new sentence before finishing the one he started before. You could almost physically feel the way his brain was working overtime in such a short time.

"That night I was hunting near your house. When I heard a scream. Your scream. I don't usually get involved, especially when I know it's another one of ours—another vampire, hunting. But this area is usually my clan's. We try not to hunt humans, so our diet is mostly animal. Sheep, in my preference. So I was alarmed. When I got to where I heard that scream, I saw you with another vampire. A vampire who unfortunately seems to be more involved in your life than you think. The only memories of that night I erased were of myself when I started fighting that vampire."

"Am I supposed to believe you?" you asked incredulously. But the truth was, you didn't know what to believe anymore. "I'm sure about the people in my life. And not one, not one person in that small circle, would be able to hurt me."

"(Y/n), I need you to trust me on this one. Please. I really think you're in danger right now. I don't know what to do—maybe Seungcheol might know; he's the oldest of my clan." Jeonghan started thinking out loud, talking to himself while holding your wrist tightly while he started walking deep into the woods, making you follow him clumsily behind.

Your heels dug into the ground as best you could, trying with all your might to avoid being dragged to wherever Jeonghan was trying to take you.

His hand was gripping your wrist so tightly that his fingers were already beginning to mark your skin.

"I'm not going anywhere with you; let go of me!"

Jeonghan turned, glaring at you. "I regret to inform you that on this occasion you don't have much of a choice. You are in danger."

You began to struggle again to get him to let go, but a wave of peace and tranquility washed over you, making your brain feel funny and a little dizzy.

You didn't quite remember why you had been so upset.

What had happened?

You smiled.

You had no idea.

"Better?" Jeonghan asked you again, this time holding you more gently. You nodded, still a little confused but unable to help the oeaueueueque chuckle that escaped your lips. Jeonghan smiled back, switching hands to hold your wrist with his left hand and your back with his right. "I'm glad. Now we'll go to my place; I need to check that everything is okay before I return you home, okay?"

"Okay."

Slowly that dizzy, tingling feeling in your head began to disappear. It was like you had a cloud in front of your eyes, and with each step, you could see more clearly.

Jeonghan was walking briskly, but he seemed to remember that you needed to move slower, especially with so much darkness.

"Where—?"

"We're almost there." Jeonghan replied gently, but his gaze was on the ground, still too busy with his own thoughts.

You didn't try to fight your way out.

It was in vain.

You couldn't even see the ground; there was no way to escape and run away from there without being discovered.

You walked in silence for about another five minutes. Five minutes that made you think about every single possibility, every possible scenario

Five minutes in which Jeonghan was constantly turning backwards and sideways, sharpening his ears to their maximum capabilities

Five minutes to say goodbye.

Jeonghan had told you he didn't plan to hurt you.

But they were on their way to the house he shared with those who hated you so much.

You closed your eyes, talking to your mother for a few moments.

When your eyes opened again, you found yourself in front of two lanterns and a large black gate, which protected a huge house that looked like something out of those old stories you loved to read.

Both the gate and the house at the back of the road were black. Some lights were on, and you could have sworn you saw two shadows moving behind the white curtains of one of the second-floor windows.

If you weren't so terrified, you would have found it very pretty.

It was like a castle.

Jeonghan opened the gate, letting you walk first before closing it again behind himself.

"They won't hurt you." Jeonghan mentioned noticing your tense shoulders. You didn't bother to reply at all, giving him the cold shoulder instead.

The door opened, and a strong smell of lavender invaded your senses.

It did kind of help to calm your nervousness and anxiety a little bit.

The floor was made of a shiny material that made the colors white and black shine as if they were made of glass.

They felt nice on your now-barefoot feet.

There was some really low music coming from one of the rooms.

And at the end of the hall, there were big, pretty intimidating stairs.

One man, with fair skin and ash blonde hair, walked down from the second floor, his shoulders bouncing up and down with each step he took.

He walked so relaxed that you really wanted him to make you believe he meant no harm.

"Hey." He greeted you as he walked past both of you, entering another room from the first floor.

"Have you seen Seungcheol?" Jeonghan asked him, his hand pushing you softly from your back towards the room the guy had just entered.

He shook his head, pouring himself a red drink in a glass. Your stomach suddenly felt sick once you realized what he was drinking.

Blood.

He took a bug-glup of it, sighing happily once the blood hit the back of his throat.

"I haven't seen him for the whole night." He spoke again, his teeth now looking quite red as well.

"I'm just waking up anyway; maybe ask Wonwoo?"

"Thanks, Vernon." Jeonghan replied, grabbing himself by the wrist and entering a spacious living room.

The place was huge. There were multiple armchairs. They were all white, and their cushions were red.

In the center of the room, there was a black piano and many paintings on the walls.

Your eyes instinctively moved to the large library that took up an entire wall.

Wonwoo, as you guessed, was a tall, slender young man with big shoulders and a small waist.

His hair was black, and his eyes were perusing the words of a book that must be at least a thousand pages long.

His eyes reminded you very much of the eyes of a cat.

"What do you need?" He spoke. His voice was deep and clear.

"Have you seen Seungcheol?" Jeonghan asked again.

"No. He probably went to the village. As far as I know, he had some business to take care of there." His eyes didn't move from his book, but the next question did take you by surprise. "What is she doing here?"

"Please, let me know when Seungcheol's back." Jeonghan replied instead, taking you to one of the rooms upstairs.

The bedroom was small—bigger than yours but way smaller than the two other rooms you have been to in that house. It had a big bed that could easily fit three people comfortably, maybe even four.

There were some plants here and there, but most of them were already too dry to bring back to life, and a big closet

There was nothing really personal there.

Nothing that screamed Jeonghan

So it did make you second-guess if that was actually his room.

"You can take a seat." Jeonghan offered, pointing at the small sofa under the window.

"I'm alright." You replied.

"It might take a while before he comes back; I really suggest you take a seat." He repeated himself. "Are you hungry? I can go downstairs and make you something to eat."

"No, I would rather go back home."

"Look, I know you're mad at me. I know that. I understand that. But I really did all that for your own good. There are things that you can never know happened—things that your brain removed for your own good. And if it were in my power—if it were up to me—I'd be telling you by now. All of them. In great detail. But I can't. Not without knowing how dangerous it is. So please trust me. I'm asking a lot, I know. But please let me do some research. Let me find out what's within my reach before I start talking and put us both in danger."

You remained silent but sat down on the couch, as Jeonghan had indicated.

Jeonghan breathed a sigh of relief, taking off the coat he had been wearing and putting it away in the closet.

"Would you like a sandwich? I'm sorry that's the best I can offer you, but as you must have discovered, our diet isn't the most diverse on the planet." Jeonghan offered with a small smile.

"Okay." You accepted, and your stomach was seconds away from starting to growl hungrily. "But not too big; my brother had promised me to cook dinner tonight."

It was an obvious hint you had thrown at him, and Jeonghan seemed to pick up on it just as quickly.

"I'll try to get everything done quickly so you don't have to miss your dinner." Jeonghan promised. "But I'm not sure how late Seungcheol will be."

You nodded, allowing Jeonghan to go and bring you something from the kitchen.

You could hear some noises here and there, but you purposely ignored them and distracted yourself with the view of the outside you had from Jeonghan's room.

The moon looked very beautiful that night.

"Thank you." You thanked Jeonghan, accepting the plate he was handing you. His cold fingers brushed against your fingers accidentally, and you wanted to think.

"I hope it tastes good."

"It does," you replied, taking a second bite.

Jeonghan watched you eat with a smile on his face. He seemed too happy with the outcome of his sandwich.

"You're not going to eat?"

"I can't." Jeonghan shook his head. "Anything other than...you know, it goes bad for my stomach."

"What if you eat human food, then?" you asked curiously.

"I throw up." Jeonghan replied calmly. "It's involuntary; I like to smell food." He added. "It reminds me of when I could eat it. But no matter how many times I try to eat it, it tastes bad to me."

"And how do you know when you have to...?"

Jeonghan chuckled softly. "I can sense when I need to hunt." He replied. "You can feel it in the back of my throat—the need to drink blood. My body gets cold."

Your eyes widened, remembering how Jeonghan's body temperature felt compared to yours.

"Don't worry, I'm not on the verge of having to go hunting yet or drink blood. My hands are the first to get cold."

"So you can't drink that until you feel it in your throat?" You tried to ask for help to calm your own erratic heart.

"Oh, no. I can drink whenever I want."

"Then why not drinking now? Don't you have blood downstairs?"

"Yes." Jeonghan took a deep breath, his eyes moving to yours. "But I don't want to scare you any more than you already are."

"I'm more terrified to know that you're in the same room as me with the slightest feeling of hunger." You confessed to him.

 

Jeonghan looked at you for a few seconds, contemplating your words and his options.

 

"Would you feel more comfortable with me drinking here or in the kitchen?"

 

"Here." You replied confidently. "I need to know if it's just as scary as in my dream."

 

You needed to start being able to distinguish what was true and what wasn't.

 

For your own sake.

 

Jeonghan nodded. "Very well, then."

 

He came back to the room with a bottle that, fortunately, made it impossible to see what it had in its interior.

 

He took one last look at you. "Are you sure you want to see this?" He asked.

 

"Yeah."

 

He nodded, taking a deep breath before his lips met the bottle. As the liquid started filling his mouth, his shoulders started being so tense, his eyes shut tight, and his forehead frowned as he took more and more of the blood.

His breath became more erratic, sounding as if he were fighting to fill his lungs with air.

 

He opened his eyes; they were full of red. His pupils were so dilated that you couldn't see where they started or where they ended.

 

A shiver ran through your body, not knowing what to make of his gaze on you.

 

It frightened you.

 

But it intrigued you.

 

You were unable to break eye contact.

 

With shaky legs, you stood up, walking closer to where he was.

He followed your every move, and as you got closer, the sound of the blood traveling down his throat became louder.

 

Your hands slowly approached the bottle, holding it on your own.

 

Jeonghan's eyes opened wide, but he freed the bottle from his own hand, letting you do whatever you wanted to do.

 

You held it intact for a few minutes until it was fully empty.

 

You sit down next to him, taking a quick look at the bottle and at his red lips.

 

"What does it taste like?" You asked him, trying to fill the awkward silence that had fallen on you both.

 

"Like chocolate." He joked. His eyes were still fully dilated. He looked drunk with blood. "Less sweet, though. Since it isn't fresh blood."

You nodded, looking away.

"So?" Jeonghan asked after some minutes, and you looked at him confused. "Was it like in your dream?"

"Oh," you replied, "no. I don't know. It wasn't really from a bottle there."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Alright." He added, looking everywhere but you.

"Can you try it?" You asked him at the same time he was saying, "I should better bring that downstairs."

"What?" He asked, alarmed.

"Can you try it?" You repeated yourself, bringing your arm closer to him and uncovering your skin from the fabric that was covering it.

"No." He shook his head. Looking seriously at you. "Why would I ever do that?"

"I need it." You looked at him straight in the eyes. "I don't know what's real and what's not, and this is the only way. You were the one in the dream; I need to see if it is like that."

"You almost had a panic attack today when you saw me; do you think this is really the best idea? What if it is like your dream? How could that be of any help? I need you to trust me and understand that it wasn't me."

"Please."

"No."

"Just for one second." You tried again. "Please."

"Maybe another day. It was definitely a lot for a single day."

[footprintsinthesxnd]

Footprintsinthesxnd 1.5k follower celebration

Firstly, I want to thank you all again for your support, likes and reblog over the years. It really does mean so much to me. Secondly, I’d like to thank everyone who voted on the poll to decide how to celebrate this milestone

So for this celebration I will be doing OC related oneshots and moodboards. You can choose from any of my OCs, they don’t have to be the main OC either so if you like one of my side OCs and would like a little fic or moodboard about them then please feel free to request one for them too. I will be writing oneshots for my OCs with characters from the shows they are written for so please feel free to pick characters that are their friends etc (I won’t be changing who their love interest is) All of my OC can be seen on the link below so feel free to pick anyone from there.

Oc masterlist

Prompts (can be used for oneshots or moodboards) These are just a guide like but if you have specific requests for either please feel free to send me those.

- "God, here- just hold my hand."

- "I won't let anything happen to you, i swear."

- “You were my first kiss.”

- "Never figured you for this much of a cuddler."

- "Some nights you dance with tears in your eyes.”

- "Why am I always your second option?"

- “I never want to let go.”

- "You're not okay, you're shaking. What can i do? please, just let me help you."

- "It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway."

- "I don't want to love her. I don't like what that means for me."

- "How about a kiss?"

- “I need to remember what hugs feel like.”

- “I thought you were dead.”

- “I can think of a few things.”

- "I couldn't kiss you all day! let me make up for it now."

- "I think about it a lot. what our first date would look like.”

- "I swear to you, that as long as I'm alive I won't let a single soul ever harm you."

- "Close your eyes for me love."

- "You are very endearing when you are half-asleep."

- "You look beautiful/handsome in the moonlight."

Tagging a few of my mutuals: @mads-weasley @georgieluz @iceman-kazansky @docroesmorphine @hesbuckcompton-baby @heystovepipeboys @precious-little-scoundrel @b00ks1ut @xxluckystrike @softguarnere @supervalcsi @bucky32557038ww2 @samwinchesterslostshoe @vera-keller @blueberry-ovaries @blurredcolour

[wh0lemilk0vich]

tag game! Tagged by @creepkinginc thx nosho

rules: go to pinterest, search "[your name] core aesthetic" and create a moodboard from the results.

I had to fudge it a bit or else I only got pictures of Misha Collins

Lots of get to know you stuff under the cut

about

you name: Misha (any spelling or variation of Michael except "Mike")

age: 29

starsign: Taurus Sun, Scorpio Moon, Cancer Rising

your first language: English

second language: German/Russian

(third language: Polish)*

(fourth language: Irish)*

favourite lip product: I let God decide what happens to my lips.

the best food dish you can make without a recipe: I can make a pasta sauce out of basically any vegetables and some meat. I also cook pretty decent Korean food.

if you drink tea, what kind?: herbatki "Malwa" z suszu owocowego, either czarna porzeczka or owocowa.

if you drink coffee, what roast do you usually get?: I don't drink coffee, and haven't had caffeine in 2 years.

favourite thing to watch on youtube right now: God, these days Minecraft or other video game let's plays, game streams, comparative mythology, or world building videos?

favourite thing to watch on youtube in 2012: I absolutely could not tell you. What did annoying theatre kids watch in 2012?

favourite item of clothing right now: I have a couple dresses and sweaters I love.

favourite item of clothing in 2012: lololol probably the American Eagle button down shirts I insisted on wearing with a vest and blazer, but then for some reason boot cut jeans.

* I had to rep for USAmericans who are multilingual

fandom

three movies you recommend: Morozko/Ivan Vasilievich Back to the Future, Stardust, The Lord of the Rings.

your favourite concert: i really don't like concerts haha.

have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?: not really.

have you ever left a fandom because of the fans?: not really, I still feel like I'm trying to enter them tbh.

the best tv show you watched last year: honestly probably Shadow and Bone or House of Dragons (it's probably been longer than a year but I mean writers strikes and stuff, I don't remember seeing a good show) or Gilded age! Nothing happens in Gilded Age and I love every minute of it.

do you have a fancasting you just can't let go of?: I don't think I picture actors or types in my head when I watch or read things.

a ship you've abandoned: none they're always bouncing around there and can always be reactivated. Especially if you can give me a juicy crossover, make it supernatural/fantasy, or make one of them chubby.

on a scale of 1-10 how willing are you to share your ao3 history?: oh lol, I was about to say pretty open but then I remember some of the stuff I read so hard 0.

do you have a fandom tattoo? (do you want one?): no and don't think I want one, but I have tattoo ideas

what fandom do you wish was bigger?: I'm honestly not sure maybe Magicians, I get intimidated by big fandoms haha.

has a finale ever ruined a show for you?: the last season of game of thrones was abysmal.

have you …

... swam in an ocean?: yes, as it happens.

... ever been vegan/vegetarian?: nö.

... gone skinny dipping?: no, but I would with the right people.

... gone skiing?: never and no desire.

... been to a convention?: a couple academic conventions.

[windynebula]

I’m honest to fucking god about to start slaughtering if people are going to even think about trying to whitewash the ace discourse. It was widespread harassment and a smear campaign. You do not get to bully and harass a WHOLE MARGINALISED ORIENTATION until some of us went back into the closet, post suicide baiting into all asexual-relevant tags (I vividly remember a post with a photo of a bottle of bleach and the text SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS over it), compare horrible irl people to asexuals (including making moodboards of those people (including Trump and fucking Hitler) and the “[lists bad things about a person]... they are, dare i say, asexual?” meme) in asexual flag colours, dogpile people who had the asexual flag on their icons or who had completely innocent asexual headcanons about fictional characters and then just go “teehee that was a ✨ cringe ✨ phase i had, that was so embarrassing”. You have the privilege to call it cringe and embarrassing and a silly phase, meanwhile us asexuals had to to background checks on every new blog we followed in case they’d slap explicit aphobia out on our dashboard after following. Can you fucking imagine what it feels like when every even remotely popular tumblr funnyman could suddenly post something that shits on an aspect of you that you can’t control or change? Even the ones that almost never posted queer content! This happened on fucking almost daily basis. I’m not even exaggerating here. I tried not to follow any “discourse blogs” and I still had aphobia on my dash almost every day. One time I got harrassed into changing my url because I commented on a popular post while having the asexual flag in my icon.

Ace discourse was so fucking vile that I don’t even have the words for describing it. Watering it down to something equal to the phase where you pretended to be a wolf in middle school is so fucking insulting to every asexual who went to the ace positivity tags to cheer themselves up only to see explicit suicide baiting or had someone who they considered a friend to start reblogging more and more aphobic rhetoric. Confront what you did and address it with the right terms or be a fucking coward by whitewashing it.

I’m so fucking mad.

[cosmic-kaden]

Confession: I really hate this website. I don't understand how to make friends or why some things get interaction and some don't and although it's the only place with self shippers, I am so lonely most of the time I think I should just leave because what's the point? I also don't have any art or writing skills so can't post anything like that and my husband's world is not popular or one where other people self ship so it's not like I can even get into fandom stuff. Just so tired. I miss Livejournal (outing my age, lol). I GOT that. I just want people to know and remember he and I, we were, we loved. Our love existed.

anonymously confess something to you.

Awe, I'm sorry you're feeling so frustrated. You don't have to have the skill to draw or write. I used to be god-awful at both art and drawing but I just...practiced whenever I was able too. Practice makes progress after all, I didn't care if my writing or art was bad in comparison (not that you should compare) but I created it because it makes me happy!

Again, it's ultimately up to you on how you want to do things and in no way am I implying you should do it my way!!

You can always just love post! For a long while and I mean like... two years I hardly produced anything. All I did really was reblog other mutuals art/wrting and occasionally I would make a post just hollering about my f/o. The good thing about that is that it doesn't have to be coherent you can literally type "LSDKJFLKSDJFLDSK MY F/O HHHHHHHH" and people would like it because you're just screaming that you love them!

I remember Livejournal, I never used it myself but I do remember it. I guess in a way you got to put yourself out there. interact with some people either through tags of something they made and you rbd or like participate in sending asks to people. I am in no means "well known" but I found some people who like to put up with my annoying ass /lh

I don't really talk to people privately either, its all mainly through dash communication and asks/asks games.

I understand that it can be hard and frustrating but there are a multitude of different ways of showing your f/o you love them and just a gentle reminder that you're here for you and your ships and if you find some people a long the way who also support your ships, that's a bonus! <3

I know quite a few who have obscure f/o and while yeah content can be hard to come by, like I said there is a lot you can do from if you wanted to try drawing/writing, moodboard making, playlist creation, pintrest board creation, loveposting (Even if it is keysmashes followed by 100 ilus lol)

I'm sorry if I went on a tangent, if you fell asleep partway through I don't blame you! lol I just wanted to kind of reassure you in a sense that there are ways of loving your f/o and showing that love. You don't NEED to make content of them to prove your love or your ships worth and you're here because you want to share some form of love for them right? You're doing that for you and because you want too! Eventually, the right people will find you.

I've never actively looked for friends on the hellsite, people migrated towards me and now I have a lot of lovely mutuals who I can also call friends. It didn't happen overnight (I've been here since like....2017? a least self shipping, been here longer than that tho) but it will happen.

I just be super unapologetic about this insane amount of love I feel and whenever I feel the need I scream via a text post haha

I'M R A M B L I N G (WRAP IT UP KADEN GAWD!) /j /lh

I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated/upset with your experience on the hellsite and I really do with all my heart anon, hope that it turns around for you <3 Please take care!

[shutupdevvie]

Tag Game To Better Know You!

Send this to people you'd like to know better!

thanks for the tags @gretavanfleetposts and @whollyfreeamongststars <3333

What book are you currently reading?

i’m about to start reading gods and monsters by shelby mahurin !! (i have to read the summaries of the first two books before i start because it’s been so long and i forget everything)

What do you usually wear?

usually just jeans and a random shirt or sweater. i usually switch between my vans, my converse, and my boots for shoes. and i almost always wear my weight of dreams necklace just because i have an attachment to it at this point :))

How tall are you?

i’m 5’7” or 5’8” i honestly cannot remember anymore

What's your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

i’m a leo !! i know i share a birthday with one of the twins from teen wolf but that’s all i know about

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

both i think. there’s a good mix of people who call me my full name and people who just call me dev.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be as a child?

well i don’t have a career yet but i can still safely say no because as a kid, i wanted to be a veterinarian and i am certainly not on track to doing that

What is something you’re good as vs. something you’re bad at?

i think i’m good at baking and i’m bad at most sports. and time management honestly.

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what's your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year?

i guess one of the only things i’ve created this year have been like cakes and moodboards but one of my favorite cakes i made last year was a vegan cake for my best friends birthday and it was pink with little flowers and it was v cute

Dogs or cats?

both BUT i’ve never lived without a dog so i genuinely don’t know if i could go without one.

What's something you would like to create content for?

i have no clue <3

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

um iced chai lattes, caesar salad (i’m in my hyperfixation again), and the song choking by the velveteers (and josh ofc)

What's something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

for last year, i guess it would be my trip to disney. it was still a good trip !! but things kind of fell apart and i was miserable for like three days which. wasn’t great :))

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

i genuinely do not think i have one :((

What's something you wish to have at this moment?

a caesar salad. specifically one from this restaurant down the shore that i love. and a nap maybe.

literally the only person i will tag is @highdefkiszka if you would like to but anyone else is free to do it also <333

[lavendermunson]

enchanted II | knight!eddie munson x princess!reader

summary Eddie takes you to the ball, you two share a nice moment until the magic ends with the reminder of your marriage. Could Eddie help you get out of this one?

tags +18, afab!reader, perv!eddie, mentions of jason craver sorry, best friends to lovers kind of relationship, mentions of food. no use of y/n. i tried to be as inclusive as possible so i didn’t mention anything about the reader’s, no skin color, no hair color, no body type. this chapter is just pure fluff.

a/n dance scene inspired by little women by greta gerwig, if you know you know. reader’s mom’s name thoughts

wc 3.3k

moodboard | previous chapter | next chapter

—

A lot of times your dreams were centered around Eddie, not in a sexual way because you haven’t seen him in a while. Nearly nine years have passed and you wonder how he looks now, did he keep the buzz cut? did he let a beard grow? a mustache maybe? Your mind always tried to picture a 19-year-old Eddie but you were never satisfied.

Since the moment you saw him through that door, your tummy finally felt those little butterflies your mom loved to talk about.

"Mom? Can I ask you a question?"

You were turning 15, and since that night no one stopped talking about the wedding of their princess and Jason Craver.

"Yes, darling" she looked at you.

"How do you know you like someone… romantically?"

"Well… when your father and i met it was love at first sight" she laughed "My body was filled with these butterflies, right here in my stomach" she placed a hand over her body and looked at the ceiling, trying to re-play the moment in her head.

"So you fell in love the moment you saw him?”

"No" The queen took her crown off and placed it on your lap, your fingers began to play with the small diamonds in it.

"Then?"

"That is when you like someone when you think they are pretty. Falling in love takes time, it is complicated. " she placed one hand on your shoulder "When you are in love the butterflies stop and a wave of love comes at you with this feeling of… security. You start to feel comfortable and loved"

You try to remember her words, she must be right… First of all, she is your mom. Second of all, she is older and has been through things you haven’t. But why did she get to marry the one that she loved? Why can't you have the same thing?

"I-i don't feel butterflies when i'm with Jason and i don't think i feel safe either" The tears in your eyes started to roll down your cheeks, your mom took her crown back in her hands.

"You will! you will!" she was angry, not at you. She had to convince herself that doing this arrangement was for her good, she didn't like it… god, she hated it! but she had to be a good queen, she had to respect the agreement. "That boy… and you. You are going to be the happiest couple" she hated lying to her daughter, she hated the look of sadness on your face.

She left your room that night without glancing back at you, no goodnight hug either. Since then she cried in her husband's arms almost every night.

"How can we do that to her?"

"It's an agreement"

"We have to stop!"

"We can't stop" the king whispered "But… let's do another agreement, between me and you"

"What is that?" the queen looked at him with hope in her eyes.

"If she meets someone, if she falls in love… like us" his finger pointed at her and back at him, he cupped her cheek locking eyes with her "We let her escape"

"But… she is our baby" The queen bounces her head, and tears start falling. The thought of watching her daughter in an unhappy marriage was a bad thing, but losing her forever had to be the most heartbreaking thing.

"I doubt that would happen, that's why we need to keep her in the castle at all times”

"And if it happens?"

"She is smart enough to run away and get what she wants, we would have to respect her decision. Only if she is in love, will she escape. We won't be able to find her and that's the only way the Craven family will forgive us"

From that day on, you spent your days busy at the castle. Piano classes, guitar classes, literature classes, french classes… anything to keep you busy. You loved learning, but your biggest dream was to travel the world with the person you'd fall in love with.

__

Monday, three weeks before your birthday.

Eddie took you to the ball as promised, it was filled with elegantly dressed guests, some of them were strangers and some of them the same ‘refined’ people as always. You immediately feel out of place, no one in this ballroom comprehends your dreams or your ambitions, some girls ask about your wedding, and some of them share secrets to make the ‘perfect wedding’ god, you were sick of that word already.

Taking a few steps back from the group of girls, you find the glasses with wine and the table of little pastries focused on what to choose. The feeling of anxiety boosts as you recognize a voice. 

“Are you having fun or do you want me to show you how to have fun?” Jason and his irritating voice.

“I was until you got here” You turn your back to pick up more pastries and put them on your plate, you take two of each one.

“Why two?” he asks, trying to take one but you take the little plate away.

“I’m hungry” you lie, biting one of the cookies and letting the crumbs fall to your dress “You should go, there are a lot of girls who want to have fun in whatever way you like” 

“You know… i will take your word”

You see him vanish through the swirling couples he will be looking for a girl and be out of the ballroom for a long time. Meanwhile, you look around so no one can see you sneak out to the back to meet Eddie, you knew he stayed there because no one likes to be outside, it was perfect for him to be alone until this party was over. 

“Hi”

“Hey… shouldn’t you be inside?” he looked at your face, then the food in your hands.

“I got you something, i know these things are so long and boring but the only way to get through it is by eating lots of sugar!” 

He glanced at you with a tiny smile on his face, you were the most adorable thing ever. 

“Thank you, it’s nice of you” You nodded, getting closer to him, resting your back against the wall as he did.

Both of you can’t forget what happened in your room, the tingly feeling between your legs and his cock so hard. You would almost rip each other’s clothes if it weren’t for this event. Trying to bring serenity to your mind, you shake your head as the thoughts fly away and you break the silence.

“So… how’s it been? I haven’t seen you in ten years?”

Eddie tried to come up with a smart, interesting, and short answer to your question. Trying to surprise you… but he had nothing. He didn’t want to admit he had only two friends. He didn’t want to tell you about all the times he sneaked out to see you. 

“Fine, just fine,” he says, finishing the cupcake he had in his hand. Almost dropping it after zoning out.

“Fine? Edward please, it’s me” Every time someone calls him by his full name he shivers, recalling all the times someone was mad at him. But with you it was different, it sounds great coming from your beautiful lips, but it builds a strange barrier between you two, making the interaction too formal for his liking. But he had to remember, he works for you, he is not your friend, he has a job to do. 

“Last time we saw each other we talked so much about music, books, the world…” The words coming from your mouth made you realize, at least one person shares your interests, “you told me dragons were most likely real but fun, not evil or violent, just… beautiful creatures looking for love”

“Of course, it’s something a kid would say” he wipes the frosting out of his lips with his fingers, he sucks them clean minutes after and you watch him mesmerized.

“No, no… when we were kids everyone was boring but you” He shakes his head, letting out a chuckle “Everything you said made so much sense, that’s why it got stuck in my head”

“That night… it was great,” he says and you nod, biting your lip. You remember it all too well, and he does too.

“It was, so I'll ask again… how’s it been?” you hit him with your elbow, giggling at the same time as he coughs to hide a smile. The barrier Eddie thought was between you two somehow fell into pieces.

“Good… i learned how to play piano at the local bar, my uncle got me a guitar for my 13th birthday and i’ve been writing songs” he hopes everything he says sounds interesting to you, and it does.

“That is… fascinating”

“Are you lying to me?” he squints his eyes in disbelief.

“It is, i promise” Your nose scrunches up, trying to match his expression. There’s a bittersweet moment of realization that hits you like a wave of fresh air, you listen to Eddie as his life sounds more fun than yours.

“And how’s the princess been doing?”

“Reading, playing piano, and oh! painting” 

He leans his head to the side, eyebrows furrowed. You lean your head back figuring out his expression, but you don’t read it.

“Just that? Hey, I'm not judging you here but i thought princesses had a lot of fun… that sounds fun too but i thought you were out at parties and you know, getting drunk or dancing until midnight”

“Yes, when you have real friends or a great husband. When you can travel the world or play music with someone, not when your parents have you studying all day”

Eddie’s mouth descends to one side in a pout after you look away, you try to focus on the dark of the garden and how some flowers seem to shine thanks to the moonlight, your life was good… average. But you never had fun and that had you heartbroken.

“That’s why you go out to the woods?”

“Yes” You still don’t look at him, a sad frown appears on your face. Don’t cry, don’t cry in front of him “To not feel chained to something… but i know it’s a never-ending type of feeling”

The boy with chocolate eyes notices a change in your voice, he places a hand on your shoulder just like he did in your room. But this time his touch is filled with compassion, he didn’t know you were feeling this way.

“Do you… do you ever think about not going back to your room?” he asks.

“All the time” you nod, and your hand reaches out to his over your shoulder. Eddie doesn’t know there are times you don’t go back at all. He flips his hand over your shoulder to take yours and squeeze it. His warm touch fills up your heart.

There’s a moment when Eddie’s mind is crowded with questions. Can he help you be free? Can he make you have more fun? He wants to take you out of this kingdom, find a small town and be with you forever. He wishes you were happier because you make him happy. 

“And now I have to get married to a boy that acts like a child, a person that I’ll never love and it sucks… I go to the woods and I get farther away each time but something always drags me back here”

He gets the feeling, he couldn’t leave even if he wished to. He can’t leave Uncle Wayne, he can’t leave Jeff and Gareth. Eddie’s mind is empty now, he doesn’t know what to say to help you feel better. He sucks at talking about feelings, he never learned how to cheer someone up with the right words. 

Instead, he concentrates on the music after being in silence for a while, recognizing the melody of the song he takes both of your hands making the plate fall and break, he kicks it with his feet and pushes you into his chest earning a soft smile and a giggle from you.

“Dance with me,” he says, his breath hitching for a second waiting for you to answer. You feel his breath on your lips, your eyes linger on them for a couple of seconds.

“We can’t… they will see us” You peek at all those people in the ballroom, everyone looks so happy dancing… but the music is a little bit more upbeat, they don’t jump and dance they just move their feet from side to side at a slow pace. Boring. 

“Just let your body follow the music and if we get close to a window we pretend to walk”

You nod in excitement, as he laughs and starts twirling you around. Your grip on his hand tightens up as he drags you forward, you do as he told you, and after twirling around you see a window and get back to your postures. You laugh a couple of steps further and away from the windows. Eddie’s movements become electric, he starts to jump and you follow him, grasping his hand as you enjoy the music in your silly dance moves, jumping on your tippy toes. 

You two, in your private world have fun on a night you could’ve sworn it was going to kill you, instead it’s nice and filled with joy. As you dance with Eddie, where no one can see you, it takes you back to the first night you met him. 

You bump into his chest and quickly take a step back. His heart is thumping so fast in his chest, almost making his rib cage break. Yours is pounding hard and loud, afraid that he could hear but at the same time wishing he could.

The music stops, and both of you look at each other when you realize you are in the same spot, noticing you were moving in circles the entire time. 

“Little one?” a soft voice calls your attention, it was your mom “What are you doing here?”

“Nothing, I was just taking some air” You tear your eyes away from Eddie, missing his soft gaze already. He drops your hand, getting his knight posture back in the presence of his queen. 

“Good, we are leaving” She reaches for your arm and you grab it “Jason's mom wants to have lunch on Friday, she wants to tell you something important so it’s time we go home and get some sleep so you look presentable. Got it?”

You drop Eddie’s hand a he misses your touch, you do too. He squeezes his hand softly trying to give his muscles a memory of their own so they can remember your warmth, your little fingers brushing the palm of his hand as it gets away from yours.

“Of course, Mom…” you say, your expression transitioning from happiness to sadness. You follow her as Eddie walks behind you both, his heart aches as he repeats your words in his head.

“And now I have to get married… to a person that I'll never love … I go to the woods and… something always drags me back here”

I need to help you, he says to himself. I’ll get you out of here, I need you to be happy.

__

On Friday morning and after worrying for four torturous days, when you open your eyes, someone keeps knocking at the door and makes you jump out of bed. You let go a groan as your mom comes in and some of the maids help you get ready for lunch, is this necessary? Last Monday you got ready by yourself… Well, with a little help from Eddie. But still, this whole show for lunch, it was going to be a very long day.

__

You sit down on the balcony of Craven's castle. It has a nice view of the town, better than your own. Jason’s mom, Avari, joins you and your mom at the table and looks at you. It’s a judgy look, yes. She is thinking if you are worth it for his “little boy” and you hope she thinks you are not.

“Thank you for joining me, Queen Margery and Princess…” she nods “I have something really important to ask you”

Stop. Everything. For a minute. Did she forget your name? Yes, yes she did.

“Thank you for having us, you selected such a wonderful place,” your mom says, you roll your eyes at how nice she is “Whatever you have to tell us, I’m sure we can make it work”

You take a sip of coffee as Queen Avari parts her lips to speak, she puts down her cup and looks at your mom.

“I want to start getting ready for the big day, the dress, the flowers, the decorations, the guests… it needs to be the most perfect wedding”

The sip of coffee goes up to your nose and you cough to mask the uncomfortable feeling, your shoulders give up as you lean to the front and cover your mouth. Her announcement takes you by surprise and it shocks you, this can’t be happening right now.

“Sorry,” you whisper, reaching for a handkerchief to clean your mouth. Jason’s mom looks at you disgusted, your mom looks at you worried. “Isn’t it a little early for that?”

“Child, it is in my hands to make you and my baby boy’s wedding the best of them all. If we go ahead and plan with time it will be easier, what do you say Margery?”

You look at your mom, begging her with your eyes to disagree. “It is a wonderful idea, I agree” She looks at you with a warm look, noticing how the bright light in your eyes disappears. A feeling of guilt appears in her stomach.

“No!” you get up, hitting the table with your palms.

“You vulgar child” Queen Avari stands up too, looking at you. She is angry and you can feel it, the best part is you don’t care. 

“I- mom…” you look at your mom for a couple of seconds before running out, you wish you could jump out off the balcony but it’s impossible. You keep running through the castle until you find a way out through the kitchen door. Eddie watches you leave and runs after you. Moments after, and now that you are away from that castle you stop. Eddie watches you as you fall to your knees, tears start dripping down your cheeks.

“Are you okay? Do you need something? What happened?” A worried Eddie kneels in front of you and shakes your shoulders, softly. He gets desperate from not getting an answer, you tilt your head up to look at him.

“I can’t do this, I can’t marry him,” you say, your voice muffled as you sob “I don’t want to” 

Eddie notices the heartbreak look in your eyes, he immediately gets closer to you and hugs you. As you cry in his arms he tries to get up, helping you do the same. His arms tighten around your body, you try to imitate his actions but you stay with your arms on your sides, frozen.

“I need to go… I- I don’t want to go home” he notices your body fighting to be free from his arms, sadly. He lets you go supposing he would have to run after you again, but you stay in your place “Would you come with me?” you say.

He thinks about it for a moment, his gaze is soft on yours, and it calms you down.

“Where?” he asks.

“I know a place… in the woods” You take his hand.

A million scenarios travel through his mind, but his priority right now it’s you. Only you.

“Show me… I will go with you” he intertwined his fingers with yours squeezing your hand, and a delicate smile appeared on your lips.

“Let’s go,” you say and start to walk at a fast pace, Eddie walks with you.

He will follow you everywhere, as he is right now. His head gets cloudy as he remembers he is holding your hand, as he understands you trust him more than anyone else. Not thinking of the consequences that will come later.

hey! i hope you like part two. i decided i’m going to post a chapter every friday, i’ll try to do my best and i know a deadline helps me to get things straight. sorry this one took sooooooo long ); also it’s just fluff because i’ve been stressed lately and im tired hehe.

if you have some ideas for part three let me know! any comment, suggestion or question is more than welcome ✨ feedback is appreciated! don't forget to REBLOG TO SUPPORT THE AUTHOR! . ♡

tags @stephanie-nicks76 @mylovelycrazyworld @thebrookemunson and special tag for @allthingsjoeq they have a knight!eddie fic too if you’d like to read it ♥️ thank you for your love and patience

[youbloodymadgenius]

Ivarello (Modern!Ivar x reader) Chapter 4

Moodboard by @quantumlocked310

Ivarello’s masterpost here

A/N: This is my entry for @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie 500 Followers Fairy Tale Challenge. It's a retelling of Cinderella. Congrats again, darling 💖

A huge thank you to @mrsalwayswrite , who's a great beta reader and an even greater cheerleader 😂

A massive thank you to @quantumlocked310 , @vikingstrash and @serasvictoria . Thank you for agreeing to collaborate and for sharing your talent with me. Your moodboards are beyond amazing 🤩

In this story, Sigurd is alive. Ragnar and Aslaug are dead, but Lagertha didn't kill her. I took a lot of liberties with the show, I hope you won't mind.

Unlike the tale, there will be no magic involved. Not everything will be realistic, however. It's a fayritale, after all!

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Summary: Orphaned five years ago, Ivar and his brothers have been living with Lagertha ever since. Now 16 years old, he wants to attend Harald's traditional Midsummer party, but obstacles stand in his way.

Warnings: description of car crash; orphaned kids; Sigurd being Sigurd; OOC characters.

Words: 2877

Additional note: This is the final chapter. There'll be an epilogue, but you'll have to wait a bit because there are a lot of challenges I've signed up for and I'm way behind schedule.

Enjoy 🙂

🛡⚔️🛡

Devastated and angry at the world. That's how Ivar is feeling.

Holed up in his room since the night before, and despite Lagertha incessant requests, he doesn’t plan to come out, not now at least. Come to think of it, he might as well decide never to leave his room again.

He can't stand the idea of facing his brothers. He doesn't want to have to tell them about his failure. He doesn't want to endure Ubbe's pity and condescendence. He doesn't want to see the look of triumph on Sigurd's face. The thought makes his stomach lurch while at the same time a murderous urge creeps into his mind. No, he definitely can't see his brothers.

Surprisingly, and unlike Lagertha, his brothers have left him alone, as if sensing that entering his room would be as moving into a minefield. Only Hvitserk had taken a chance earlier, cautiously poking his head through the door. His disapproving look obvious when his eyes had taken in the scene before him, Ivar's belongings scattered on the floor, some of them smashed into pieces.

"I got you a chocolate muffin from the kitchen, baby bro," he had explained, putting it on a nearby shelf, and it had almost brought a smile to Ivar's face. To Hvitserk, there's no predicament that can't be improved with comfort food.

"Look, Ivar," scratching his neck, Hvitserk had then said, "I don't know what happened and I don't want to pressure you. You tell me when you're ready, if you are. But I'm here, okay? Whatever the time of day or night, you don't have to be alone if you don't want to. If I'm upstairs, just call me, okay?" With these words, he was gone, the door closed.

Ivar can't get the events of the previous evening out of his mind. Like a waking nightmare, they are playing over and over in his head: how he had freaked out when he heard the beeps; the confused and then so disappointed look you had given him when he sputtered his need to leave; finally, his shameful escape into the night.

What could he have done? What should he have done?

He does know the answer. He should have been more cautious. He should have checked the time, asked for your number and just walked away.

On the other hand, what difference would it have made? He would still have no future with you, right? He would still be a cripple, and you would still be... you... perfect... too good for him.

So yeah, he had run away like a coward. He lets out a bitter chuckle to himself. Run away? Who is he kidding? He hadn't run away, that would have been too easy. Cripples don't run away. Without his cane – why the fuck did he leave it behind?? – he had pathetically limped away, stumbling, his feet sinking into the sand. He had still been on the beach when the battery had died. He had had no other choice but to crawl like a worm the rest of the way, silently praying to the gods that the darkness of the night would prevent you from seeing him like this.

Tears of despair run down his cheeks for the umpteenth time. He's used to feeling humiliated, but feeling humiliated and heartbroken simultaneously is really too much to take. He feels like he's dying from the inside over and over again, cursing himself for wanting to attend the party, for wanting to see you again. He should never have let his walls down, he should never have dared to hope. What was he thinking? He may have walked, and even danced with you, but at the end of the day, he still is a pitiable cripple with stupid, crooked legs, in love with a girl way out of his league.

If he's being honest, that's what hurts the most. He now realizes how delusional he had been. Holding on to a dead dream for years, he had not forseen the painful yet unavoidable reality check. And now, it's like he's been hit by a train. Because there's no denying it, dreaming of a life with you is no longer an option, not after last night. And even though it's almost unbearable, he knows now he has to let go of you, of the idea of you and him being together. As much as this mere thought is devastating, he has no other choice. He has to stop fooling himself, for his own sanity, if nothing else.

Giving a guttural cry, much like that of a wounded animal, Ivar doesn't hear when the front doorbell rings. Not that he would have reacted even if he had heard it, too busy wallowing in self-pity.

***

"Thank you for having us here on such short notice, my dear." Your uncle states joyfully, his eyes sparkling, as Lagertha greets him with a handshake and a tight-lipped smile. Even though you don't know why, it's obvious that she's not his biggest fan.

Your uncle, who doesn't seem to notice – or doesn't care, you're not sure – keeps giving her a beaming smile. "My niece here," he turns his head toward you for a short moment, "has a weird request. She met a boy yesterday, during the party. He lost something and my sweet Y/N has been adamant since this morning that she wants to find him and personally return it to him. We were wondering," he turns his gaze in the direction of the couch, "if it could be one of your wards."

There are indeed three young men, half sprawled on the couch, who get up as one when Lagertha gives them a stern look. If you vaguely remember having seen them before, a single glance is enough for you to know that the one you're looking for is not among them.

You're on the verge of saying so but your uncle doesn't give you a chance to. "See boys," he unceremoniously grabs the cane you're holding behind your back, "here is the lost item. A cane! Fairly uncommon, if you ask me. Anyway... Does this... thing belong to any of you?"

Since you know it doesn't, you're surprised when two of the guys both take a step forward. "Actually, it's mine," they say in unison, each of them only then becoming aware that the other is speaking.

Dumbstruck, you look at one then the other successively. They've got a lot of nerve! You know they're lying, and you would have known it even if these two idiots hadn't spoken at the same time. They just look nothing like your handsome stranger – if he's a stranger.

"Sigurd, you know it's mine!"

"Don't play dumb, you never use a cane, Ubbe! Whereas me, I do sometimes. Everyone knows artists tend to be eccentric, right?"

The blondest one – Sigurd if you heard right – points his finger at a guitar leaning against the wall and then winks at you, "I'm a musician, you know?" You don't even have time to roll your eyes as the other one – Ubbe? – yells, his nostrils flaring.

"Shut up Sig, you're so full of shit! You know I've got a sprained ankle!"

"A sprained ankle, no kidding? Who did a ten-kilometer run today, huh? It's not me! So, you are the one going to shut up, you fucking douchebag!"

It's almost funny to watch them arguing back and forth. If you weren't so pissed off, you'd laugh. But right now, you're mostly mad at them. Their blatant lies make your blood boil with anger.

Are they really thinking you're a complete idiot? That you can be fooled so easily? Who do they think they are? Who do they think you are? Some stupid chick ready to fall for their good looks? If they think that, they're kidding themselves.

"You're the fucking douchebag, Sig!! Don’t forget I'm the oldest!"

"And what's the difference, huh? You can't have all the girls, Ubbe! Keep fucking Margrethe and just let me be! Stop being a controlling asshole!"

"STOP!!!! BOTH OF YOU!!!"

Lagertha's shout is deafening and if looks could kill, these two morons would be lying dead on the floor right here, right now.

"Y/N, my dear," Lagertha gives you an apologetic smile, "I'm so sorry for that. I swear they usually know how to behave, better than that at least. Guess they don't know how to handle your striking beauty. Now sweetheart, tell me, is one of these two knuckleheads the one you were with last night?"

The silence that falls on the room after her question is so complete that you could hear a pin drop. Acutely aware that all eyes are on you, you shyly lower your gaze, shaking your head slightly, as you clasp your hands over your belly. You eventually speak, your eyes meeting Lagertha's, and you can see she knows what you're going to say. "No, the guy I was with last night is not one of them."

"How can you be so sure?" Sigurd's voice is soft and tentative now, and Ubbe adds, seemingly for once in agreement with his younger brother, "yeah, how can you? It was pretty dark after all."

You give them a smile. "How can I be so sure? You mean beside the fact that you obviously don't need a cane? Neither of you?" The third brother, who still hasn't opened his mouth, chuckles, giving you a thumbs up. "Look, I appreciate your interest, I really do, but neither of you are the one I am looking for. Therefore," you look at your uncle, "we should leave, don't you think?" Checking the time on your watch, you shrug. "What about the Eyvindsson family? Didn't you tell me about three brothers? We may have time to go and see them tonight if we hurry."

Your uncle nods, handing you back the cane. "You're right, Y/N, we should leave." Taking two steps forward, he grabs Lagertha's hand. "Sorry dear, we will waste no more of your time."

You're about to thank her when one of the boys clears his throat. "Ahem..."

Turning your head, you're surprised to see the third brother, the silent one, raising his hand. "I think I might know who this cane belongs to." Frowning, he glances at his brothers. "And you both know it too."

"Shut up, Hvitserk!" Sigurd spits, clenching his hands into fists. "Don't bring the fucking cripple into the conversation."

"Sigurd! Keep your mouth shut!" Lagertha glares at him for several long seconds then her face softens as she looks at Hvitserk, placing a hand on his shoulder. "What are you trying to say, Hvitserk? Do you think this cane belongs to your baby brother?"

Hvitserk nods. "I know it does, actually."

"Come on, Hvit, you're talking nonsense. It cannot be, it just cannot. That guy was standing. It wasn't our brother. Our brother wasn't there last night." Ubbe stubbornly insists, but Hvitserk just shakes his head.

"Of course, he was. I saw him. And don't bullshit me, Ubbe, you saw him too. With Y/N." Hvitserk states. That's when you realize that your palms are sweating and your pulse is racing.

Hvitserk keeps going, now speaking to his guardian. "I know what I saw, Lagertha. It was him. I don't know how, but he was standing, Ubbe is right. He was even walking. It may sound weird but I swear, it was him."

Lagertha nods. "I believe you, Hvitserk." A beaming smile spreads across her lips and she tilts her head. "I wouldn't be surprised if Floki had something to do with such a miracle. Go get your brother, Hvitserk, please."

Your heart leaps at these words, you're barely able to contain your excitement and as you let out a nervous chuckle, you cannot help but jump for joy. Needless to say, Ubbe and Sigurd seem much less enthusiastic than you.

***

Reluctantly following his brother, Ivar mutters under his breath, "you're pissing me off, Hvit. I'm fucking not in the mood for whatever you have in mind."

Hvitserk pays him no mind though, a small smile dancing on his lips. "Trust me, baby bro, you'll be in the mood."

Ivar wants to protest, or maybe just turn around and wheel back to his room but all at once the sound of your voice reaches his ears and he stops, frozen in place, his eyes wide open. He may have stopped breathing.

Patting his shoulder reassuringly, Hvitserk whispers, "It's Y/N, baby bro, but I have a feeling you already know. She's here for you, she was looking for you, Ivar. Go..." before giving a single push to his brother's wheelchair, his right hand on the backrest.

Ivar honestly doesn't know how he manages to wheel himself into the living room. What he does know, however, is that you're suddenly standing right in front of him. The heart stopping smile you flash him blows all the air out of his lungs, his heart pounding wildly in his chest, and the outside world – Lagertha, his brothers, Harald – ceases to exist.

A little voice tells him he should be feeling self-conscious with his hair all messy and wearing worn sweatpants, but he can't bring himself to care, not when you kneel in front of him with stars in your eyes.

"Here you are, finally," you breathe, gently placing a hand on his knee. Ivar didn't know until now that one could die of happiness, but that's exactly what he's feeling and he wouldn't trade it for anything.

Swallowing, he blinks several times. When he speaks, his voice trembles, his bottom lip quivering. "Hello Y/N, you were... looking for... for me?" He has trouble getting the words out, his nervous fingers fidgeting on his lap.

Grabbing both his hands in yours, you nod, your thumbs stroking his knuckles tenderly. "I was, yes, and for a very long time."

Shyly lowering his head, Ivar, almost feeling dizzy, can't wrap his head around your words. They're just too good to be true. "But... why?"

"Why?" You giggle, your laughing eyes lighting up your face, and he's positive, you're even more beautiful like this. "Isn't it obvious? I want to know more about you, what's your favorite color, what you eat for breakfast, where you see yourself in ten years. I just want to spend time with you, Ivar."

'Ivar' You've just said his name and it's like the sweetest music to his ears. He can't believe it. Wow. "You... You recognized me?" There's so much hope and joy in his voice, he cringes.

You shrug, your smile never leaving your lips. "I wasn't sure at first. You've changed a lot." Your hand cups his cheek. The sensation on his skin is so overwhelming he has to hold back the tears threatening to gush. Yet, he can't help but think you're speaking about his legs.

He grits his teeth. "Yeah... Standing tall can change a man."

"No! no, no, no," you retort without missing a beat, "That's not what I meant. In my memory you still looked like you did when we were ten, but look at you now, all grown up! Your hair was so short back then." Reaching out, you brush a strand of hair back and tuck it behind his ear before letting your fingers run slowly down and up his bulging biceps, your hand finally lingering on his forearm, "Plus, you clearly work out a lot. So, yeah, I thought it was you, but I wasn't sure. When we were dancing last night, I thought I'd ask you right after, but then you left and... well... I didn't have a chance..."

Ivar wraps his fingers around yours, a frown creasing his forehead. "About that, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left like–"

You shush him, holding a finger to his lips. "It doesn't matter, Ivar. You don't have to explain. All that matters is that I found you." Standing up, you lean forward and gently kiss his cheek and he feels like he's floating. Intertwining his fingers with yours, you whisper in his ear, "I reckon we got some lost time to make up, you and me. Can we go stargazing now?"

Hearing this makes Ivar's insides turn to jelly. Barely able to think, he is on cloud nine and wishes with all his heart never to come back down to earth again. But despite the daze, despite the fog in his head, despite the blinding happiness, he knows one thing: no matter how many stars he sees, you'll be the brightest one.

"Yes, Y/N, you're right," bringing your hand to his mouth, he gives it a kiss, "let's go stargazing."

And as he leaves the room, you walking alongside him with your hand on his shoulder, his heart filled with joy and wonder, he doesn't miss the thumbs up Hvitserk gives him, nor the scowl on Ubbe's and Sigurd's faces.

For a fleeting second, he thinks he should – he could – taunt them. They deserve to be laughed at, don't they? But then, he realizes he doesn't have time for that. The time for happiness has come, and it's far more important.

Giving you a beaming smile, Ivar inhales deeply before releasing a sigh of satisfaction. Yeah. Happiness. Happiness sounds good.

🛡⚔️🛡

Ivar’s taglist: @waiting4inspiration @honestsycrets @lisinfleur @saldelys @gearhead66 @inforapound @readsalot73 @milkkygirls @xbellaxcarolinax @shannygoatgruff @zuxiezendler @hecohansen31 @lonewolf471 @fuckindiva @tgrrose @didiintheblog @peachyboneless @pieces-by-me @funmadnessandbadassvikings @ethereallysimple @destynelseclipsa @cocovikings23 @xceafh @mrsalwayswrite @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pomegranates-and-blood @jadelynlace @grimeundglow @quantumlocked310 @alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom @adrille88

Ivarello's taglist: @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @hashimily @prepare4trouble @supernaturalvikingwhore @funmadnessandbadassvikings @heavenly1927 @dini73

[rowaelinismyotp]

The Eight Wonders of Erilea

12 Days of Rowaelin Day Seven: Holiday Traditions

a/n: this was actually gonna be this full blown 10k+ fic about the first time Rowan and Aelin travel the continent and how it becomes tradition but.... i unfortunately lost motivation about 1k in soooo here’s a moodboard/excerpt for if i ever come back to it (i probably will, just when i have more time)

xo anna

{cw: language}

~ ~ ~

This had to be a dream. There was no fucking way that she, Aelin Galathynius, was traveling the world (her dream since birth) with the love of her life, Rowan Whitethorn. She was 100% sure that when she woke up, she would be back in her dorm room, asleep at her desk and still studying.

The day had started out as expected. Her boyfriend was visiting his family in Wendlyn, Rowan wanting to stay with her but only placated by the fact that Aelin was going home herself. It wasn’t her fault plans had changed. And now she was trying to focus on the essay her English teacher had assigned before break, rueing the fact that the only family she had to go home to was her newly married cousin, Aedion. And it wasn’t that she disliked spending the holidays with him, per se, it was more of having to spend the week with her cousin and his wife procreating when they thought she wasn’t looking. Remembering last Yulemas, Aelin shudders. There was no way in hell she was going home to that.

Busy missing Rowan and lamenting not going with Rowan when he had offered, she doesn’t hear her door open and her boyfriend peek his head in.

“Ace? Thank the gods you’re still here, I wanted to catch you before you left. Sellene sent me home early after hearing you were spending Yulemas without me, that hopeless romantic.” Rowan rolls his eyes affectionately thinking of his cousin. “And you’ll never guess what she gave me, us, as our gift!”

Aelin frowns, confused. “What is it, buzzard? I don’t think I’ve seen you this happy since- I can’t remember?”

“You know how you’ve wanted to visit the eight wonders of Erilea? And you know how Sellene’s loaded now, with Aunt Maeve gone? She’s sending us to each of the eight wonders.”

She gasps in shock, the generosity and thoughtfulness of the gift taking her by surprise. What had she sent Sellene? Think about it now, it must have been something weird like cartoon socks. Oh Mala burn her.

“That’s right, baby! We’re going to the Western Wastes, Adarlan, Melisande, the Oakwald Forest, Banjali, the Red Deserts, Briarcliff, and visiting Sellene in Wendlyn when we’re done!”

Sensing her silence, Rowan hesitates. “If that’s alright with you, of course. If you don’t like it, that’s fine. I think she can still get a monetary refund if that’s what you want.”

“No way in hell am I going to turn that down, Ro. We’re going to see the eight wonders! Oh my gods, we’re going to see the eight wonders?!!?! When’s our first flight out?”

Rowan pauses. “That’s the only thing. Our first flight’s in two hours.”

~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~

tags: (i’m not sure if you guys want to be tagged in this one but?)

@backtobl4ck​

@perseusannabeth​

[peterrparrkerr]

Moodboard for the series (don't judge me I usually do gifs, this was something new. Also, I could not get the collar to look right)

So I meant to upload this yesterday but I lost control of it and then got busy, so here's a little over 3k for you!

Also, tagging @snowstark because this is our baby. Ao3 version here!

Idk what to tag this. Dark themes, spanking, forced to choose a punishment, uuuh, not sure what else. Enjoy!

*-*

Bucky knows when Peter is going to have a hard time adjusting to Tony being gone. It had been close to a year since Bucky started working for Tony, and he's gotten familiar with all of Peter's little quirks.

And he knows the slight pout Peter sports as he waits beside Bucky for Tony to come to the door, means Peter's going to be a slight handful.

But Bucky can handle the teenager. He's been in charge of Peter's safety for long enough. Aside from Tony, Bucky knows how to get Peter to do as he's told.

Tony comes down the stairs, suit tailored and travel bag in hand. "What a sight," he grins. "My pets waiting for me."

Bucky clenches his jaw at that, but he doesnt say anything. Peter though, steps up to the Superior nuzzling into Tony's chest.

"Don't go," Peter whined. Bucky watched with a familiar jealous rock in his gut, but he stays still.

"I'll be back in five days," Tony sighed, kissing the top of Peter's curly hair.

Peter's in a pair of soft blue jean shorts and a faded Yankees sweater, the bottom cut off to show off his midriff.

Tony pushes Peter back a little and smiles fondly down at him, fingers fixing the collar around his puppy's neck, little bell tinkling.

"You be good," Tony orders, leaning down to kiss Peter's pouty lips.

Peter sulks as Tony steps away, towards the door and closer to Bucky.

"I'll be back late," Tony hums, patting Bucky on the cheek. "I'll see you both when I get back."

And with that, Tony's gone. Bucky rubs at his cheek with a slight scowl. Its a new thing, Tony touching him. And Bucky doesn't like it.

Peter spins on his heels the moment the door is shut and storms off, making Bucky sigh explosively before making his way after him.

Alpine slows him down by weaving between his legs, meowing needily.

"Damn cat, go away," he snaps, nearly kicking the thing before remembering she's Peter's.

The door to Peter and Tony's bedroom slams and Bucky sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

So it's going to be like this then. Bucky decides to let Peter wallow on his own. Sooner or later his emotions would get the best of him and he'd come out for comfort. Bucky wouldn't force him to before then.

Its the same song and dance. Peter cries when Tony's gone, he doesn't eat much, and just kind of sulks around the house.

If he were a real puppy, Bucky could just imagine him crying at the door with his tail tucked between his legs, looking extra pathetic.

It was during these days when Tony wasn't around that Peter got a little less obedient.

Most incidents Bucky kept to himself. Little scenes of Peter acting out of his emotions. Tony didn't need to be informed of everything.

The bigger incidences though was definitely taken to Tony. They hadn't had an incident in a while -not since Peter ran out and Bucky got shot.

Peter had been terrified after that, refused to leave the tower even with Buck and Tony there with him.

Tony had punished him good and hard for that -it still makes Bucky's stomach roll at the thought of Tony hitting Peter. Bucky still remembers how small he looked when Tony had guided him back into the penthouse.

His eyes all red, tear tracks down blushed cheeks. He had been trembling slightly. It had made Bucky sick to his stomach.

But Peter hadnt done it again. When Tony left, Peter stayed put.

"Peter, time to eat," Bucky called after knocking on the bedroom door. Peter had been locked in there for most of the two days so far Tony's been gone.

He sulks under his covers, and when he does come out, its with a pout. Something Bucky is used to.

"M'not hungry," comes Peter's petulant response through the door.

"Yes you are, pup," Bucky sighed. "Come on, out with you before I come in there."

"Said I wasn't hungry," Peter spoke, voice raising a little. Bucky cocks an eyebrow, then tries the handle of the door. Its locked.

"Peter, open this door."

"No," Peter said.

"You open this door or I'll kick it down," Bucky threatened. Peter's never locked his door before.

"Do it!" Peter snapped. "Then Tony'll be mad at you and send you to the basement!"

"Oh for fuck's sake," Bucky muttered under his breath.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, override the lock for Peter's door," he says, looking up at the ceiling.

"I am sorry, but the lock is manual, it will have to be unlocked by Peter, Mr. Barnes."

Bucky growls, clenching his teeth.

"Open the door, Peter," he tries again.

"No."

"C'mon, pup, open up," Bucky sighed. He really didn't want to break down the door. What has gotten into Peter? He's never like this.

"Nuh-uh," Peter said. "Leave me alone."

"You know I can't do that, Pete," Bucky huffed.

"I don't need a babysitter," Peter called out. "I can take care of myself. Tony doesn't need you anymore."

"You've got five seconds and then I'm breaking the door down," Bucky said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Peter says nothing. Bucky begins to count. He thinks Peter will crack when he reaches two, but the boy doesn't make a sound.

"Alright, last chance."

Nothing.

Bucky tries the handle once more before stepping back. He lowers his shoulder, ready to drive it into the wood before slamming into the door.

The frame splinters and the door slams into the wall with a deafening crack.

Peter jumps from his spot on the bed, eyes wide and mouth gaping in shock.

"What is going on with you, Peter?" Bucky demands, a little fed up with his behavior. "You've never acted like this before."

Peter's shock falls away to anger, eyebrows furrowing and arms crossing.

"Get out."

"No, you need to tell me why you're acting like a brat," Bucky demanded, crossing his own arms.

"M'not a brat," Peter snipped, little bell sounding as Peter turned his head away from Bucky, glaring at the wall.

"No? 'Cause you seem pretty bratty to me," Bucky challenged.

That gets Peter standing from the bed. "I'm not!"

"I'm not going to fight with a fucking child," Bucky muttered to himself. "Go into the dining room and eat your lunch."

Peter sets his jaw. Its cute. Little thing trying to be tough.

"I said I'm not hungry."

"Well, Tony wants you to eat," Bucky tries. Usually talking about what Tony wants would get Peter to do as he's told. But it doesn't work today.

So Bucky grabs Peter by the upper arm and pulls him out of the room. Peter grunts, digging his heels in, but he's small and doesn't have much muscle.

"Eat," Bucky demands, gesturing to the food he sits Peter down in front of.

Peter glares up at him, though its not as effective as he thinks with his pastel blue tshirt and matching collar.

"I hate you," Peter bites out.

"Good for you, now eat your God damn lunch before I force feed you."

To say the next three days is difficult is an understatement. Bucky has no idea why Peter's acting out the way he is, but he's had enough.

On the fourth day, Bucky actually swatted him! Peter looked up at him with wide eyes, mouth clicking shut. Bucky instantly felt sick, but he forced himself to stand his ground even as hurt and anger filtered through Peter's features.

"You hit me," Peter said. It made Bucky feel even worse, but he didnt back down.

"You're being bad," Bucky said. More anger filtered in, and Peter reached forward to try and shove him.

Bucky caught him by the wrists and Peter yelled loudly, beginning to flail.

"Peter, stop it!" Bucky snapped, pulling the pup in close and pinning him against his chest. He doesn't have room to thrash now.

"I hate you! I hate you!" Peter yelled. Bucky can hear the beginnings of tears in his voice. "I don't want you here! I want- I want Tony!"

Bucky holds Peter as he chokes on his tears, forcing Bucky to carry his weight when Peter stops holding himself up.

Bucky let's him cry it out, walking him to his bedroom. The door still wasn't fixed -Bucky didn't have time, what with Peter acting out.

He deposited Peter onto the bed. "You can come out when you're done being a brat," Bucky said shortly. Peter just fell to his side, wrapping his arms around a pillow and drawing up his legs.

Bucky walked out and flopped onto the couch, leaning his head back and staring up at the ceiling.

Maybe Tony would know what Peter's problem was. Just because he's never acted like this since Bucky moved in doesn't mean its never happened before.

Bucky's never been more glad when Tony arrives the next morning. He's exhausted. Tony -the perceptive bastard- notices right away when Bucky greets him at the elevator.

"What happened," Tony demanded. Bucky let out a sigh, shoulders slumping just a bit. He didnt like feeling like a whiner, and explaining to Tony what the past five days have been like definitely makes him feel it.

"I don't know whats gotten into him," he finishes with. He just wants to sleep for a couple days. He's never felt more like a babysitter than he does now.

"Oh, I do," Tony huffed. Bucky raised an eyebrow inquisitively. "He's jealous."

That throws Bucky for a loop. "Jealous? Of what?" He can't help but demand incredulously.

Tony smiles knowingly and lifts his hand, brushing his fingers over Bucky's jaw, pinching his chin and giving a little shake.

"Of you, pet," Tony hums, looking amused. "He's used to getting my full attention. I think he's feeling a bit misplaced."

Bucky lifts his head, pulling his chin free from Tony's grasp and taking a small step back.

"He's got no reason to be jealous of me," Bucky grunted.

"No?" Tony asked. "Lets go see our puppy then, hmm?"

Bucky frowns as Tony walks past him into the penthouse. Our puppy?

He quickly spins on his heels and follows after Tony. Theres a disapproved hum when Tony notices the door leaning against the door.

"Tony!"

Peter scrambles from the bed, rushing over to Tony and crashing into his chest. Bucky keeps his distance, hands clasped behind his back.

"I missed you."

"I'm sure," Tony hummed. "Bucky told me about your behavior while I was gone."

Bucky winces in sympathy at the tone Tony uses with Peter. The pup steps back from him, brows furrowing.

"I-"

"I don't want any excuses," Tony interrupted. Bucky watched as Peter's demeanor shifted. He knew he was in trouble, he could see it in the way Peter's shoulders slumped.

"Go wait for me in your room," Tony continued. "And when we're gone, we're going to have a talk."

"But, Tony‐" Peter began. Tony grabs him by the arm and yanks him towards the elevator that leads to the basement.

"Go," he snaps, features twisting into a look of anger. Bucky holds his ground, but he wants to rush back out of Tony's line of fire.

Peter shrinks at the tone. He doesn't try again, just makes his way to the elevator, like a dog scurrying out of trouble with his tail between his legs.

"Are you really going to punish him?" Bucky asked, following Tony towards the elevator Peter had just disappeared through. "If he's just acting out of jealousy-"

"His acting out got me a broken door and a puppy with an attitude problem," Tony said. "I brought you here to take care of him while I'm away. His behavior hindered that and that won't do."

Bucky follows Tony into the elevator. He doesn't say anything, just stands beside Tony, watching the floors pass in glowing numbers above the doors.

When they reach the basement floor, the doors open and Tony steps out, already heading for the door that leads to Peter's room.

"Come on, pet," Tony calls over his shoulder. Bucky's legs work without him, taking him out of the elevator and into the main room.

"I'm not a pet," Bucky grunted. Tony glances over his shoulder, smirking. His blue eyes shining with amusement.

"I beg to differ," Tony hummed, before reaching a hand out and clasping Bucky by the back of the neck.

Bucky allows the Superior to pull him closer as they make their way to the door.

Buck decides not to argue the issue. Better to keep on Tony's good side.

Tony opens the door, and Bucky's eyes widen at the sight of Peter on the bed, naked. Hes on his elbows and knees, pert little ass up in the air.

He's hidden his face in his arms, and doesn't realize Bucky is here with Tony.

"He does paint a pretty picture, doesn't he?" Tony murmurs lowly, arm still wrapped around Bucky's shoulders, nosing at Bucky's jaw.

"I can leave," Bucky says lowly, glancing from Peter to Tony.

"No, I want you here," Tony decides, shutting the door. Bucky chews on his inner cheek, staying close to the door as Tony walks over to the wall of -Bucky feels his stomach drop. He doesn't know if he can watch this.

"M'sorry," Peter whines, turning his head to see Tony at the wall.

"I know you are," Tony said, looking over the items hanging on the wall. Bucky's never seen so many switches and floggers before.

"But that doesn't change the fact that you were a bad puppy."

Peter's breath hitches and he hides his face again. Bucky watches Tony pick out a flat leather paddle from the wall. One of the less intimidating items hanging on the wall.

"How many hits do you think he deserves?" Tony says, catching both Peter and Bucky off guard. Peter's head turns, wide eyes locking onto him before he seems to shrink, hiding his face away again, but not leaving the position Tony most likely trained him to be in.

It takes Bucky a moment to realize Tony was talking to him, and he blinks, looking over at the Superior. "What?"

"You had to deal with his poor behavior for five days, so you decide his punishment," Tony said.

Bucky looks wide eyed at Peter, pale and naked except for the baby blue collar around his neck. He shakes his head.

"Come on, pet," Tony goads. "What does he deserve?"

Bucky hears Peter whimper at that and he feels his skin crawl. He shakes his head again, feeling sick. "I can't."

Tony's mouth drops in a frown, looking disappointed. Bucky doesn't care. He can't.

"Fine," he hums. "Then fifty hits."

Peter lifts his head, breath hitching and tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Ten for each day."

Bucky feels his throat closing up.

"N-no," Peter sobbed. "No, please, Tony!"

Tony looks at Bucky, challenging glint in his Extremis blue eyes. "Bucky doesn't want to choose, so I'm chosing for him, puppy."

Peter turns to look at Bucky, pleasing with a trembling breath.

Bucky digs his nails into his palms. He looks from Peter to Tony, then back to Peter.

If Bucky chooses a lower number, Tony may not agree to it. But Bucky doesn't want Peter being hit -especially in front of him.

"Twenty," he manages to say, unsticking his throat. His voice is tense, body rigid and hands clasped behind him. Outwardly, he looks calm and collected, but inside he wants to do nothing but run out of the basement.

Tony doesn't say anything for a moment, and Bucky's sure its just as long for Peter as it is for him.

"Alright, twenty it is," Tony agrees. Bucky feels the muscles in his shoulders unwind a little at that.

"Count them out, pup."

Its the worst few minutes of Bucky's life. He served tours over seas. He's killed people with his bear hands and lost an arm, and he'd go through all of that ten times if it meant he didn't have to be in the same room as Tony and Peter right now.

Each smack has Bucky's pulse spiking, each sobbed out count down like agony. Its a punishment all its own to be forced to stand by while Peter cries, the loud smack of leather on skin filling the room.

The worst thing is Bucky is the reason he's got twenty spanks in the first place. Sure, its less than fifty, but he's still the one who offered a number.

Bucky doesn't even care anymore about Peter's behavior. He just wants Tony to stop.

Peter's ass is just as red as his face, and his breath hitches on cries, but the boy doesn't move. Bucky has no doubt if he had, the punishment would be far worse.

"Twen-twen'y," Peter finally gasps out wetly, dropping onto the bed.

Bucky restrains himself from rushing over there and scooping the boy up. His nails dig painfully into his palms.

He watches Tony do it instead. Watches as Tony's hand turns soft, scooping Peter up and settling him onto his lap, careful of his poor bottom.

Tony smooths Peter's curls from his forehead, muttering lowly against Peter's cheek as the boy cries, arms lifting to wrap around Tony's shoulders.

Tony glances up at Bucky and nods. "Come here, pet."

Bucky's too concerned with Peter to argue the pet name. He makes his way over to the bed in three long strides and sits down beside Tony and Peter.

Peter peeks out from Tony's neck, eye red rimmed. His breath hitches.

"M'sorry, Bucky," he cries, voice reedy and wobbling with tears.

"Thats alright, Pete," Bucky said softly.

Peter tucks himself back into Tony's neck, allowing the Superior to smooth his hands up and down Peter's bare back.

"Go with with Bucky, pup," Tony says a moment later, once Peter's tears have tapered off a little. Bucky's eyes widen at that, but he can't do much else, because Peter's crawling out of Tony's lap and settling into his own.

Bucky doesn't know what to do. He's wearing cargo pants, and he can't help but worry they're too rough for Peter.

And then he's stuck on the fact that he's got a very naked Peter in his lap. The boy leans into Bucky's chest, head resting on his shoulder.

Bucky settles a hand on Peter's lower back -as low as he dares- and rubs circles into his skin.

"I think its time we had a little talk," Tony said, looking first at Peter, then at Bucky.

[jasperwhitcock]

hello, ive noticed that my feed has been super dry lately even though I follow lots of people and i think it’s because a lot of fans have left tumblr :( and i follow people from different timezones so when I’m asleep my feed is full but when I’m awake it’s just *crickets* so can you please recommend me active twilight blogs, preferably who go by PST, please? im on tumblr 24/7 cause i need distractions lol also throwback to pre-midnight sun release when twilight tumblr was hella active and there was so much content :( i miss that

only the strong remain 💔 alright here is my twilight blog starter kit follow list. some of my fave blogs, the blogs i see most often on my dash, my bffs even if they’re on hiatus, etc. i’ll try to note their time zones if i’m sure of them bc if i’m wrong that’d be so embarrassing fhjshfjsf if u want to dm or reply w ur time zone i’ll update this post!

PST/MST: @paulxlahotee (wolfpack content, a cutie, will make u earrings that make u feel like a bad bitch) @the-golden-onion (a literal angel from heaven above i truly adore mads w my entire heart she got u on mike newton & mr. molina content) @cullen-collective (esme if smeyer wrote her to have a sense of humor and witty tongue. will take u under her wing and sing to u) @phil-dwyer-stan-account (hiatus but pls ask her astrology questions she will explain to u why u are the way that u are), @lemonadebottlecap (idek remember what it was but one of her tags made me LAUGH so much the other day), @edytheelizabethcullen (alex is the sweetest, u must follow),

CST: @howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen (JACOB/WOLFPACK CONTENT, truly EVERYBODY’S friend, the sweetest person, pls send her pics of cute dogs)

EST: @kaquiche (funny, friendly, twilight video editing QUEEN, will be ur bff in 2 seconds), @bellaskhakis (cursed content, a demon, my greatest enemy, ok i’m kidding she will be so sweet to u but once u get close she will roast tf out of u we are like sisters), @teamjacobthot (wolfpack content, dij is probably the coolest person u will meet on this site), @bellasredchevy (kae is the god of the renaissance idk what else to say besides that bc this is a proven fact i adore her & her witty humor), @inthemiddleofmymidnight (that’s my best friend she’s a real bad bitch i love kim not a single post fucking misses), @swanresidence (CUTIE, she got JOKES she been making me laugh so much in my dms), @leahclearwaterdefensesquad (LEAH CONTENT/wolfpack content, kate has my heart), @volturialice i will forever be in love w g she is the mother i never had, she is the sister everybody would want she is the friend that everybody deserves i don’t know a better person, alice/fanfic content), @bellas-dumptruck-ass (i will never not giggle at this url but elaine is sososo funny but also so smart, always making POINTS), @renegadepack (wolfpack content, aaron is a tru must follow)

GMT: i think they’re GMT if i’m wrong i am deleting this whole post and my own blog in embarrassment: @carllisle @notquitetwilight / @stillnotquitetwilight (literally the chaos twins that people headcanon emmett & bella to be, they are putting out the best & also maybe the most cursed content rn), @carlislesscarf (they keep my dash alive), @witchyangela / @incorrectwolfpack (a tru angel, wolfpack/angela content)

IDK THE TIME ZONE: @stregoni-benefici (also responsible for keeping my dash alive, a cutie w lots of esme/carlisle content), @iknowyouloveme-thanks (literally the funniest memes), @su-angelvicioso (if u want maria content look no further), @rosaalee alex & bri are a package deal so u must follow bri too, moodboard content), @ohyoudosmellgood (omg i just realized i think i need to dm u back we have literally been having the same conversation for like three months we suck, an angel, carlesme content), @influenzabella (if ur looking for active, i always see influenzabella on my dash!!!) as well as @rose-lily-hale (CST) @redeyedsaint @twilightofficial @khakiskirtslut @edwardssnail (EST) they give me something to look at daily i adore u all thank u for ur service, twilight veterans that were here before my time and ain’t going nowhere post midnight sun craze, post the end of the world: @panlight @edwardsvirginity

[sfb123]

Sapere Aude - Part 8A

Book: The Royal Heir

Pairing: King Liam Rys x Queen Riley Brooks

All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Catch Up Here

Series Description: I developed a theory of what I think will happen in TRH Book 4, and I was encouraged by some very lovely people to turn my theory into a fic, so here it is. Basically, Riley is recruited to join the Via Imperii, this series will follow her as she joins them to try and bring them down from the inside, and all of the drama and bombshells she learns along the way. Sapere Aude is Latin for “dare to know” it seemed like an appropriate title.

Rating: M -MATURE 

Warning: Adult language, smut (🍋🍋🍋) and other adult themes.

Word Count: 4,049

Notes: I know I’ve sucked at updating and posting. I hit kind of a personal slump in my writing, there was a lot of self-loathing involved. I really struggled with writing chapter 9, and I eventually had a revelation that it was likely because I wasn’t done exploring everything that happened in chapter 8, so I’ve made a sub chapter. We follow Liam when after he leaves their quarters and get into his thought process in dealing with the bombshell that was dropped on him.

And yes, you read that rating right, my lemon tree has had its first bloom. I really stressed myself out over this, so I hope it’s worth the time I spent trying to convince myself that I was doing a good job, not to mention the time my friends had to spend (see below) to boost my ego.

Thank you so so much to @txemrn for reading a couple of snippets for me and being the cheerleader I needed when I was feeling really down on myself and my work...even though I was supposed to be the one giving YOU a peptalk!

And a super special thank you to my fairy smutmother @jessiembruno. You listened to me complain, and doubt myself, and a million other things multiple times a day while I was trying to find my way, and you never once came off as annoyed or frustrated. I am so lucky to be able to call you a friend.

Finally, thank you so much @twinkleallnight​ for my UPDATED moodboard! She took it upon herself to update it to better reflect the feel of the story, and she did a kick ass job!

Tags: I’m officially rocking my new tag list. Everyone is listed below as well as in the comments for safety. If you’d like to be added or removed, let me know! 

“Liam, where are you going?”

“I need to take a walk. Gather my thoughts.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, I need to be alone right now. You stay here, I’ll be back shortly.”

Before she could stop him, Liam was out the door. He knew she just wanted to be there for him, but he needed to be alone. The royal quarters, his home, his sanctuary, suddenly felt so small. He was suffocating there, he needed to get away, to breathe.

“Your majesty?” Bastien stopped him. 

“I’m fine, Bastien, just going for a walk. Please stand down.” Liam tried to keep his tone and expression neutral, but it was obvious to Bastien that something was wrong. He bowed to the King, following orders and remaining at his post. 

Liam continued walking through the palace, unsure where he was going, he just needed to get out. He found himself walking through the gardens, approaching the maze. One of his mother’s last projects before her passing...or rather, before she abandoned him. It was always a special place for Liam. Growing up, he would often go there to hide out when he was feeling lonely, or missing his mother more than usual. It was one of his favorite spots on the grounds, possibly in the world. How would he ever be able to look at this space the same again? It would serve as a constant reminder of the insurmountable betrayal he had faced at the hands of the woman that gave him life. 

As he walked the familiar path through the maze, he considered his options. Perhaps he would burn it to the ground, and salt the earth to prevent any attempts at regrowth. Would that make him feel better? Would it take away the pain? 

Likely not, but it would feel good to know that I took something away from her that she cherished so dearly. A metaphor for what she has done to me. My memories of her, her kindness, her generosity, they mean nothing anymore. Because, to her, I meant nothing. I couldn’t have. If I did, she wouldn’t have left. 

He continued his journey, getting lost in his thoughts. He would look back at his childhood memories, trying to remember something, anything, that could ease this moment for him. Nothing came. His mind then wandered to the relationship he could have had with Thomas, his brother. He had another brother this whole time. All those times when Leo had run off to god knows where, he wouldn’t have had to be quite as alone as he was. Sure, he had Drake to keep him company, but Drake wasn’t a prince. He didn’t have the same expectations, the same limitations, that Liam faced. He could have had someone else by his side that understood all of it. 

How was he supposed to feel about Thomas now that he knew the truth? His first instinct was anger, but he quickly rejected that. It wasn’t his fault that they were kept apart their whole lives. He was suddenly very curious about Thomas’s life.

What was his childhood like? How did he feel when he learned that he was also royalty? Has he ever wanted to say anything to me, to come forward? Would I have believed him if he had?

Even though he wasn’t supposed to know any of this, he hoped that things would get to a point where he could talk to Thomas, and ask those questions. Ideally in a casual setting over drinks, and not an interrogation cell. 

Liam soon found himself in the center of the maze. As he took in his surroundings, his mind kept racing back to his childhood. The picnics with his mother, the games of maze tag with Drake. 

I wonder if Thomas would have liked to play maze tag with us, had he been around. 

He felt a sudden calming come over him at one point. When he took a look around, he realized that he was standing in the exact spot where he and Riley had landed when he inadvertently tackled her the night of the masquerade ball. The night he learned she had traveled halfway around the world just for a chance to be with him, because she felt what he was feeling after just a few hours together one night in New York. Even now, all these years later, he still felt the same butterflies in his stomach thinking of that moment. 

Wistfully, he walked a bit further, to the spot where they stood the night of his coronation, where he had finally managed to say those three words he had been feeling since the moment his eyes met hers. He smiled as he replayed the memory of her saying it back to him. He was fairly certain at the time that she felt the same way, but to hear those words fall from her beautiful lips, he had never felt a high quite like that in his life. His mind then wandered to the events that those words led to, another moment he had long dreamed of. Physically expressing the love they had just declared. He felt his heart start to race thinking of their first time together. All of the sudden, anger quickly replaced all other emotions, as he remembered that there was a tape of that moment. A tape that was recorded, and held, by her group. He quickly searched the area, digging his arms through the hedges, looking for anywhere a camera might be hidden. He came up empty. Given how long it had been since the recording, it made sense that they had likely removed their surveillance from the area. 

Another reason to be rid of this maze once and for all. Another reminder of the deceit. Only this time it’s worse, they brought Riley into it. 

Liam needed to move on from the center of the maze, so he continued walking, finally coming across the wishing well. The wishing well his mother had told him about when he was a child. 

Can you take back wishes? I wished so many times that my mother would come back to me, for her death to have been a misunderstanding. Well Liam, you got your wish, now look at you. How many other wishes have I made that will come back around to bite me in the ass? 

His mind began to wander again. This time, to the night of the Homecoming Ball. The night Riley was officially presented as the Duchess of Valtora, and more importantly, his fiance. They both made wishes that night, he remembered his wish: to never let fear dictate his choices, the way his father did. 

He let fear dictate his choices because of the loss of his wife. Had he known what truly happened, things would have been different. Perhaps he wouldn’t have interfered with my choice during the social season. I could have been with Riley all along. The way things were always supposed to be. I know we ended up together, and the struggles made our bond that much stronger, but there was a very real chance that I could have lost her forever, I almost did, over his choice.

Thinking of Riley reminded him of her reassurances that night, she was so confident in his ability to be a good King. She believed in him from day one, and never faltered in that. Even when he didn’t believe in himself, thinking of Riley, and her faith in him gave him the strength to continue on. To be the best man, and King he could be. To make his Queen proud. 

In that moment, Liam had an epiphany. This maze was so much more than his childhood and memories of a mother that betrayed him. This maze was about the love he and Riley shared. It had played a paramount role in their story. When he looked around, he saw memories of them, their stolen moments, their heartfelt confessions. He couldn’t get rid of this maze, if he did, he would be destroying a piece of his heart. 

From this moment forward, this maze is not about her, not about the lies that she raised me on. It is about the love and support I have shared with my soulmate. This is where our love, much like the flowers that adorn these hedges, blossomed. 

Riley...my heart, my world, my Queen. She gave up her life, her freedom, to be with me. She left her family and friends, her job, everything, for me. She has dedicated her life to my country, she has taken on my responsibilities. What have I done in return? I’ve put her in this impossible position. I’ve put her in harm's way, yet again, for the good of Cordonia. A country had never even heard of before I came in and turned her life upside down. 

He needed to get back to her. Walking back toward the palace, he started considering how she might be feeling in that moment. He had been so caught up in his own mind, that he didn’t stop to think what all of this was doing to her. She had to deliver devastating news to the man she loved, and his reaction was to abandon her. His heart sank as he approached their quarters, he felt so small. He entered their bedroom, overwhelmed with shame for the way he had left her. 

Of course she’s still awake. She probably stayed up worrying about me. I was so selfish to just leave her like that.

He kept his head down, too ashamed to look her in the eye, and walked straight into his closet to get ready for bed. His mind working overtime, trying to find the right words, but nothing came. He exited the closet and walked toward the bed, hoping something would come to him. 

Finally, Riley broke the silence in the room. 

“Liam…” She said barely above a whisper, he turned his head and looked at her for the first time since arriving home. “I’m sorry.” She placed her hand gently over his. 

She thinks I’m mad at her. She’s blaming herself. How does she not understand that she is the only thing keeping me from going off the edge? I’m the one that dragged her through all of this, and she’s apologizing to me. I don’t deserve her love. 

He was overwhelmed with anger at himself, and heartbreak for his wife. “Riley, you have nothing to apologize for. I am the one that wanted you to do this. You did nothing wrong. None of this is on you.” He tried to smile, but he knew it was unconvincing. He could feel the sting of tears beginning to well up in his eyes. 

“Fine, but you’re not allowed to blame yourself either.” 

Even to this day, after all of these years, it astonishes me how she can see right through me like that. I’ve had years of training to hide my thoughts and emotions, that training proved useless when it comes to Riley.  

“What you just said, telling me you were the one that wanted me to do this. I know you Liam Rys, better than anyone. You’re thinking about how you brought all of this on yourself.” 

It’s the truth. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t talked you into joining. 

For the second time that night, Liam couldn’t bear to look his wife in the eyes. She was right, but so was he. Liam felt the firm, yet loving touch of Riley’s hand holding his chin and lifting his gaze to meet hers. There was a fire in her eyes, unlike any he had seen from her before. 

“This is all on them, it’s the Via Imperii’s fault. That’s why we’re going to take them down. Together. Just like Anton, just like Auvernal, just like Barthelemy, just like any other enemy that has ever, or will ever come our way. We are the King and Queen of Cordonia, Liam and Riley Rys. We are a force to be reckoned with.” 

Liam was taken aback by the determination in her statement. He knew she was strong, she had been his rock since the day they met, but this was so much more than that. He didn’t know it was possible, but he felt his love for her grow. 

Awestruck, he took the hand she had planted on his chin in his, and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly. “You always know just what to say, love.”

“Years of diplomatic training. I need to be prepared for every possible scenario.” She winked at him.

He couldn’t help but chuckle at the comment. She made it seem so easy to turn his mood around. It was something he would never understand, but always be grateful for. 

God, I love this woman. 

Riley smiled and leaned into him. “C’mon, let’s try to get some sleep. We can circle back to this nightmare in the morning, start working on a plan.” They both laid back onto the bed, and into each others arms. 

In the middle of the night, Liam’s eyes shot open, his heart pounding in his chest, worry overcoming him. He needed a moment to get his bearings, turning to his left to make sure she was still there. She was.

He had been dreaming, a nightmare, technically. Riley was gone, he wasn’t sure where she had gone or why. All he knew was he felt empty, broken, more so than he ever had before. He watched Riley as she slept, a single tear rolling down his cheek. He thought back to his family, the people that were supposed to be there and care for him above all else. 

His mother, who had lied to him from the second he was brought into this world. She was his benchmark for love and support, but it was all fake. Because of her, he lived his life based on false ideals. Then he met Riley, she showed him what love and support truly was. 

Leo, he was a great brother growing up. He made sure Liam got to have fun, and took the heat when it would get out of hand. However as he got older, his priorities changed, and he was around less and less. When he finally abdicated the throne, he placed the weight of the world on Liam’s shoulders. The bright side to that, was that becoming the Crown Prince, and having a social season, brought Riley into his life. She helped him believe that he truly could carry the weight that was thrust upon him. 

His father, a King above all else. As hard as Liam tried to break through that wall, it was duty and his country above all else. That never mattered to Liam though, he still looked up to his father and held him to such a high standard. Until it was uncovered that he attempted to destroy his son’s one chance at true happiness. Despite his attempts at ruining her name, and putting her in harm’s way, Riley stayed and fought. She fought for herself, and she fought for their love. She forgave him for his actions, something Liam was never fully able to do. And when Liam mourned his loss, she was there by his side, holding his hand. 

Riley, his bright spot in all of the darkness. His constant source of goodness and joy. In all of that pain, Riley was there. Who would be there if she left him? He would have nothing, he would be nothing. He felt a tightness in his chest at the thought of losing her. He reached his hand out and gently stroked her arm, needing to touch her. 

He saw her eyes slowly start to flutter open. 

She’s cute when she’s tired. 

He watched as she lifted her hand and ran her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. 

“Hey, are you ok?”

He unsuccessfully tried to swallow away the lump in his throat before answering. “Please don’t leave me, Riley.”

Liam watched as she sat up in bed, a confused look on her face. “Liam, never. I love you, you’re stuck with me for life.

He knew she meant it, but he also knew these things weren’t always under their control. “I just…there have been so many people that said they cared about me, and then left. Losing them was so hard. But if I lost you Riley, I don’t know how I would be able to continue on. You are the most important part of me, my everything. I don’t exist without you.”

A sadness overtook Riley’s face, Liam felt horrible for making her feel that way. He looked down before feeling her hands on either side of his face, her thumbs softly stroking his cheeks. “Liam, I promise you with all my heart, and everything I am, that there is nothing on this earth that could take me away from you. My husband and my daughter are the greatest joys of my life. A world without the two of you is not a world I would ever even want to think about.”

In that moment, all Liam could think about was being as close to her as he possibly could. He desperately needed to feel her body tangled with his. He surged forward and kissed her with everything he had. It was a kiss loaded with love, longing, and need. He lowered Riley from her seated position and rolled on top of her. 

“Show me.” He whispered. 

“Yes, my king.”

He shuddered at her words. Pinning her hands above her head, he slowly rolled his hips into her so that she could feel just how desperate he was for his wife. Riley closed her eyes and moaned at the sensation. 

Liam’s mouth moved to her ear, nipping at the lobe before saying in a commanding, yet tender tone, “Open your eyes Riley, I want you to see everything I am going to do to you.”

Riley’s eyes opened as she met Liam’s hungry gaze. “Yes, my king.”

“Good girl.” He kissed her deeply, removing one hand from hers and slowly moving it down her body, traveling the familiar curves that drove him crazy time and time again. 

Liam’s lips moved away from hers, treading across her jawline and down her neck. Riley hissed at the feeling of his teeth running along her tender skin. “Liam, calm down. You’re going to leave marks.”

“Good, they will serve as a reminder that you belong here, with me.”

Riley freed her wrists from Liam’s grasp and brought his face to hers. “Liam, I don’t need a reminder, I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.” 

He silenced her with a searing kiss. One hand traced the curve of her breast as the other traveled downward, rubbing her center through her panties. “You’re so wet for me already, love.”

All Riley could do was groan in response. She felt his lips return to her neck, as his hands traveled to the hem of her tank top, he gently lifted the shirt over her head and deposited it on the floor. His mouth continued its descent, kissing her shoulder and quickly moving to her breast, taking the nipple into his mouth, slowly circling it with his tongue. He kissed across her chest, paying the same attention to the other breast. 

The quiet moans and whimpers coming from his wife were the encouragement Liam needed to continue moving south, kissing down her torso until he was met with the waistband of her panties. He paused and looked up at her. 

“Liam, please.” She whispered, desperate for him to remove the lacy barrier. 

He gave her a wolfish grin before taking them between his teeth and quickly dragging them down her legs. Once they were removed, he lifted her foot and softly kissed the inside of her ankle, his lips moved at a painfully slow speed, resting her leg over his shoulder as he moved closer to her wanting center. 

As soon as Riley felt Liam’s breath on her glistening core, her own breath hitched. Liam heard it, and it satisfied him to know that in that moment she needed him just as much as he needed her. He tantalizingly licked up the length of her slit until he reached her sensitive nub. 

She gasped as he began sucking and licking, his tongue moving in calculated circles. He knew her body inside and out, he knew just what to do to her to get the reaction he wanted. 

Riley’s hands quickly found their way to Liam, running her fingers through his hair and gripping tightly guiding him exactly where she needed him. The pressure caused Liam to moan into her, Riley felt the vibration against her body and trembled. 

Sensing that she was close to her release, he slowly slid one finger inside of her, and curled it slightly. She bucked her hips and moaned Liam’s name, that was all the invitation he needed to add a second finger. 

“Yes Liam, don’t stop.”

He looked up at her with an unmistakable mix of lust and adoration. “Never, Riley.” Before continuing his efforts, causing Riley to plummet over the edge, loudly moaning his name. He worked through her release, savoring every second of her ecstasy. 

As she started to come down from her release, Liam kissed a path up her stomach, positioning himself on top of her. Once they were face to face he kissed her deeply. 

Their tongues intertwined, and Riley’s hands drifted to the front of Liam’s pajama pants, palming his hardness through the fabric eliciting a deep groan from him. Riley smiled into the kiss, moving her hand into his pants, wrapping it around his length and pumping slowly. 

“Mmm...are you ready to take all of me, love?” He asked as he thrust into her hand. 

Riley nipped at his bottom lip before responding. “Yes Liam, I need you.”

He quickly removed his pants, lining himself up with her entrance. Pressing his forehead to hers, and looking deep into her eyes, he eased himself into her carefully, desperate to feel every inch of her. He paused for a moment, allowing her to adjust before slowly rocking his hips against her. 

As they moved together, Liam began sucking and nibbling on Riley’s earlobe. Riley whimpered in response, her hands running up and down his muscular back. She wrapped her legs around him and dug her heels into him, urging him to move faster. He complied, and almost immediately, he felt her walls starting to clench around him. 

“That’s it Riley. Cum for me, love.” He locked eyes with her again, bringing one hand to her cheek to ensure she held his gaze through her release. 

Riley’s back arched as she lost control, the muscles in her body tensed, and she screamed out in pleasure. “Oh god Liam, yes!”

Watching and feeling Riley come undone was all Liam needed to push him over the edge. He thrust into her one last time with a guttural groan as he filled her with his seed. 

They laid still for several moments, Liam resting his face in the crook of Riley’s neck, breathing in her scent as his breathing slowly began to return to normal. He then removed himself from her and laid on his back, pulling Riley to his side. She rested her head on his chest, and he responded by planting a gentle kiss on the crown of her head. 

“Are you feeling better?” She tilted her head up to look at him. 

He stroked her cheek and smiled softly at her. “Much. Thank you Riley.” Their lips met in a brief kiss. 

“Good. Now please try to get some sleep, we’re going to have a lot to figure out in the morning.”

“Of course. Riley?”

She looked up at him, eyelids heavy. “Hmm?”

“I love you, so much.” He kissed her on her forehead. 

She smiled and leaned into him, placing several light kisses on his chest. “I love you too, Liam. Always.”

He let out a content sigh and tightened his arms around his wife as they both drifted off to sleep.

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