thinking about scully sitting on the floor of mulder’s apartment just holding him as he wept after his mother’s death and after she told him through tears that it’s time to stop. it’s time to stop looking for his sister.
and how she had already told him that once, seven years earlier, a month into their partnership, when she chased him out of a police station and told him to stop running after his sister because it won’t bring her back.
she called after him to just stop, because she’s the scientist, and that’s the logical conclusion that she had reached.
except later that night, he told her why he does it. that he’s been closing his eyes and walking into that room, thinking maybe, when he opens them, his sister will be there, since he was 12 years old. “every day” of his life.
and she never told him to stop again.
until seven years later, when she rocked him on the floor, and then the next day was asked “why do you want to bring all this back up now?” and answered, “someone owes it to mulder.”
so she started looking. she reopened files, she tracked down records, she went to his mother’s house to dig through the trash. she confronted CSM about what he knew, she flew to california, she held hands and prayed.
she looked at mulder and said “it hurts me to tell you this” and stayed steady in the truth anyway. she listened to him read to her about a 14-year-old girl’s pain, held his hand and told him to get some sleep. she stayed up, kept looking, and found it. “i got it, mulder. i couldn’t believe it when i saw it. it was like it was looking for me.”
the police report from when samantha ran away.
she read the hospital records, went to the home of the nurse who signed the intake report, asked him if he wanted her to go herself.
she left him by the car and walked up and knocked, asked about a patient in 1979. she listened as the nurse described how “you couldn’t forget her or how frightened she was. scared for her sweet life.” and the man who came for her, who wouldn’t put out his cigarette.
earlier the day before, she had been told to just stop. “word of advice, me to you: let it be. you know, there’s some wounds that are just too painful ever to be reopened.”
and she had responded, “this particular wound has never healed. and mulder deserves closure.”
after seven years, she knows now, that you can’t just stop chasing. she knows how heavy grief is, and she‘s seen the effects of carrying it alone. of walking into the worst night of your life every day, eyes closed, hopeful.
you can’t just stop, and you can’t really have closure, but you can help someone carry it.
and ultimately, that’s what made this the end of the road. sometimes the heaviest burden of grief is feeling that pain is all there is left of someone, and that alleviating it would be to abandon them.
scully’s right, this wound has never closed, but there’s freedom in shared remembrance and shared dedication. she doesn’t ask him to stop until he’s ready to know the truth, and she’s willing to find it. she doesn’t ask him to rest until it’s safe for him to, because it’s not forgetting samantha. she knows and she remembers.
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Hey, I was scrolling through your #pepperman posts, (don't ask me why), and I saw a post about how abusive Pizzahead is towards his employees in the tower because he love being in power yada yada yada. And I gotta say, I'm REALLY intrigued by this headcanon and I was wondering if you have any more ideas of this.
Goodness Goodness Goodness thank you!! ❤️❤️❤️
Um, right now I think it’s hard to come up with more ideas I think, but I definitely would like to explain it more!
I think the one you found was when I was explaining why Pepperman might be there right? I think it was that one- I remember saying that PH progressively get more abusive through time which I still think I stick with.
Now I think Pizza Head has more of a god complex seeing as, not only does the fucker have power over almost everything in the tower, but he thinks he can do whatever he pleases. That’s also why he tries to get Peppino to the tower and just use him as entertainment because “HAHA FUNNY”
That being said, I still headcannon he treats Fake Peppino like a son. So he indeed does have a favorite and that is his deformed little baby. Fake Peppino is his child, and he’s the type of parent who doesn’t care if he kills somebody, he’ll just say “Oh that’s just cuz he’s moody!” Or something.
As for his LEAST favorite is John. He treats John literally like a piece of shit (as well as Gerome, but that’s a WHOLE NOTHER’ can of worms to open!)
So in short, he has favorites, he has a god complex, he’s unfair, he can be abusive, AND he practically treats everything like a silly little funny haha game oh so funny haha-
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