#god i want this buy this mag

[kawaii-koimi]

dramatic but so perfect..

this cover art made me chuckle for a bit ww ryuu smiling peacefully meanwhile atsu's frowning & looking at ryuu with some kind of emotion he cant put to words

sums up sskk perfectly. 2 sides of the same coin. the yin and yang.

(the fact that it's ryuu smiling & not atsushi surprised me for a bit, but still not ooc so 👌💯)

[artdcnaldson]

thinking about pre engagement art at his first olympics. you’re doing coverage for a mag back home on some player from your hometown. but art. beautiful fucking art who you run into the morning of your first day and who you convince to come to your hotel so he can get away from the rickety little twin beds at the village. butter him up with a drink. only one, won’t hurt his game. you talk and talk you god you wish your story could be about him instead. and he stays the night in the hotel with you and is gone when you wake up but he’s left an official statement on his wonderful teammate, hometown guy, for your story that will make your boss happy. when you get home after your story star gets knocked in the round of 16 there’s flowers and your hotel has been paid off until the final. he wants to go to dinner after he wins gold and take polaroids of you w nothing but his medal on.

if u have room for 🫐 anon, i will keep homeostasis w my zweiginator emoji anon

Omg hi sorry I sat on this so long <333 RAHHHH pre engagement pretty angel curls art playing tennis at the Olympics makes me feel SO CRAZY

EEEEEP using your press pass to get access to all of his matches, even though you really should get home. Art’s dominating the court— effortless and beautiful. You’re there when he wins the gold medal match against an older, seasoned player, and he’s so gracious to the player’s face, to the press.

“It was a tough match,” he says into a microphone as you stand close by, thankful for the press badge around your neck. “I’m just lucky to get the chance to play with one of the greats.”

He smiles, charming and victorious when they take photos of him with his medal. The American flag in the background and him, the spitting image of homegrown, good old fashioned athletic talent.

The dinner is nice, fancier than you’re used to on a journalist’s budget. He’s just got a new sponsorship with Nike, so they pay for a lot. He buys a nice bottle of wine and bashfully admits he doesn’t know a lot about what makes it nice, other than the price tag. It’s charming, it’s sweet.

Sitting across from him at the table, you know he’s got less than innocent intentions for the night. Just three days ago, he had you sinking down on his cock, riding him hard and fast and crying out his name like it was a form of worship.

“Do you want to see the medal?” He asks once you’ve finished dessert.

You forget the question by the time you’re in his room in the Olympic village, when he’s mouth is on yours and his hands are ripping at your clothes. The bed is soft, plush beneath you as he drops you onto it, laid bare and wanting. You part your legs invitingly, wordlessly begging for him to strip off the rest of his clothes and bury himself inside of you.

You’d even let him do it raw— a present for his gold medal win.

But he disappears, digging in his suitcase until he retrieves the medal from within. Orange and red ribbon and a big gold medal at the center. Before you can say anything, he’s slipped it around your neck, so the gold is nestled between your breasts.

“Pretty,” he muses, fingers circling the cold medal where it rests. “Can I take a picture?”

“Yeah,” you answer quickly. He could’ve suggested anything, really, and you would’ve said yes. He was just so beautiful, so charming. You wanted to please him more than anything.

He pulls out a digital camera and powers it on. It whirrs softly as he zooms in, then snaps a photo of the medal resting between your tits. “Pose for me,” he says, but he has another idea already. His hands move up, sliding from your hip, up your abdomen, until it cups your breast in one large palm. He snaps another photo, smiling behind the camera.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he muses. He nudges your thighs apart and toys with your clit, just on the good side of teasing. Slow, insistent circles that make you grow even wetter, even needier. He zooms out, takes a full body shot (because he’ll die before he forgets this pussy) and tosses the camera to the side.

He hikes your legs over his shoulders and buries his face between your thighs— mouthing hungrily at your cunt. His tongue laves over your center, lapping at the wetness that had been steadily leaking from your cunt since dinner. He moans against you, as he nuzzles his nose against your clit to get closer and closer. “Taste so good—“ his words are mostly muffled against you, as he licks and sucks on your pussy, face shiny with slick and spit.

You cum easily, your body responding to his touches so openly. Like it’s his toy to use. He smiles up at you as you pant and tremble, cunt fluttering with aftershocks. He kisses your thigh gently, reverently.

It’s not long before he’s sinking into you. Your pussy so soft and warm and wet for him, sucking him in, aching for something to fill that empty spot inside. You whine and gasp as he nudges against your cervix, buried deep, finding home there.

“That’s it,” he hums as you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist. “Pull me in deeper. Just like that.”

His pace is slow, his thrusts deep. You feel so close to him as he boxes you in, arms on either side of your head, fucking you like he’s making love. When he leans down and kisses you, it feels like heaven, which seems appropriate for a boy who looks like an angel.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

I can picture handyman!jason helping miss Maggie with her car like…. Thinking of Jason in a tank top with grease covered hands, working in the heat, gently swiping away sweat from his eyebrow, trying not to get grease on his forehead is doing something to me rn 😵‍💫🫠

Jason looked up from where he was working on his bike and blinked.

Living across from the pool had it's hazards. He'd seen more flabby ass and geriatric mating rituals than he ever cared to... But today, laying on a tanning chair in the blazing sun- was you.

And his initial assessment of your chest still stood. And the rest of you... holy god. The man you'd left back in Michigan was blind or stupid.

He jerked his head back down, forcing himself to focus on his bike. You were getting leered at by men old enough to be your grandfather. You didn't need him doing it to. But- damn. He adjusted himself, shifting over and coughed. It had been a while. A long while. And it didn't help that he was already so... aware of you. Your comings and goings.

Out and about with Maggie and her little cohort of cantankerous older ladies. To and from work. Just living your life. But... There was a subtle way the air changed. It seemed to get staticky and crackle. A breeze that always blew through your hair just the right way.

It made him want... things that he'd always been afraid to want. More than a fling or a one night stand.

"Fucking damn it," he muttered, fumbling with his tools. Not noticing until a shadow had fallen over him. And he looked up, blinking in surprise.

"I- hi-" he said, coughing again. Rocking back on his heels to be able to look into your face better, "everything ok?"

"Fine," you tell him, hitching your tote closer on your shoulder, "I just wanted to apologize for the other night I-"

"It's fine," he said getting to his feet and wiping sweat out of his eyes with the back of his hand. "I had a good time-"

"Maggie means well she just-"

"I'm the only single guy under 40 she sees on a regular basis," he said grinning. "At least that she'd want to set you up with-"

"It's true," you tell him ruefully. "She had me drive her and her girls to a male strip club last week-"

"Oh no."

"She tried to buy me a lap dance."

"Do anything for you?" he teased. "I mean-"

"He was sweet, just not my type," you tell him. "Working his way through nursing school. And he has a lovely boyfriend."

"Aww."

"So I guess we're going shopping some time." You shrug and smile a little.

Jason bit his lip for a moment and exhaled slowly, "I uh- dinner was really good."

"Thanks, Mags loves her Tex Mex- remind her of her first husband I think-"

"Maybe I should return the favor and cook for you sometime," he blurted.

You blink for a second. The words not quite sinking in and Jason holds his breath. Waiting.

"I'd like that," you say, looking away. "We just can't tell Maggie-"

"Oh god no," Jason agreed, laughing as he let out the breath he was holding, "She'll have a church booked and a honeymoon planned before we make it to dessert."

[dynamightgod]

Nothing Else Matters

Pairing: Bakugou x Reader

Warnings: soft, fem reader, fluffy, nervous Bakugou, crushes, Bakugou is whipped

Summary: After an interview for Pro Hero Mag, Bakugou reflects in his office on his humble beginnings with his wife.

"I like it, hey baby, I like it, oh sugar, I like it pretty baby give it all to me, I like the way you wear your hair, I like the stylish clothes you wear, the way you kiss me, I feel gone, give me all your loving all night long."

-I like by Guy

"You shouldn't have answered that last question like that!" Mine, Bakugou's assistant ranted in his ear, even through the phone her shrill voice made him roll his eyes. He slams his keys down on his desk, holding the phone between his ear and shoulder as he shucks off his gauntlets and hero gear. 

" 'm not gonna lie Mine. They asked me about my greatest accomplishment and I told them." 

"But your fans want to hear about your accomplishments as a hero, they already aren't very fond of your wife-"

"The fangirls. And for the record, my real fans love my wife. So they'll be happy as hell with my answer. I'm not changing it and if you cut it ill post a video of me fucking her to prove my point." He ends the call just before he can physically hear her blood boiling. 

Katsuki Bakugou, number one hero and heart throb to the world. But as he sits down at his desk and picks up his phone, there's only one person he wants to talk to. 

He's tired and overworked and you're in America doing press with Charge bolt as you're one of his favorite designers(he actually set you up with Katsuki, a debt he never let the explosion hero forget) you were due back in two days but after the interview and the fight with Mine, he needs you. He needs just you.

You pick up on the third ring, yawning softly, he can hear the sheets of the bed you're in rustling as you stretch. He wishes he could join you. 

"Kat? It's late here honey, are you okay?" He can hear the worry in your sleep laced voice. God he hates how his stomach still flips just from your voice again. He let's out a soft whine, in turn making you coo and shush him softly. Something is bugging him, you can tell, but ever patient you wait for his lead. 

"I'm fine…..I just….I wanna hear you tell me again." His voice cracks softly. "Tell me about the night we met." You chuckled, this was his go to for reassurance. He could never hear your side of the story enough and quite frankly you loved your love story as much as he did. 

"Well Denki set us up together. It was a double date with him and Jirou and you and me." Bakugou smiled, relaxing under the lull of your voice. "You looked so nervous," you giggle through the phone causing him to break into an uncharacteristic grin that was reserved for only you. "Your eyes practically bulged when you saw me. I watched you do a double take." Katsuki chuckled, leaning back in his chair and running a hand through his hair. 

"You've always been so incredibly sexy. I couldn't take my eyes off you." He hums, a light blush painting his cheeks as he thinks about the first time he met you. "It was that black dress, spaghetti straps with the open back and the slit up the side. You carried that super small purse and I remember thinking how stupid it was cuz you couldn't fit anything in it." He grinned when he heard you laugh through the phone. "Those heels, the strappy ones that wound around your ankles and tied in the back….you were irresistible. It was over for me right then." He says the last part quietly, something he would admit only to you. He conjured that image of you to his mind, heart racing and blood rising to his cheeks as he thought about your smile, the way you moved, how soft your lips were when he pecked you good night. God he had been so embarrassing. 

"I thought you didn't like me. You were so nervous remember?" He grunts in confirmation. 

"I said 'lunch' hoping you would get that I wanted to buy you lunch the next day because I knew I had to see you again. I needed to-"

"Katsuki do you know when I knew you were the one for me?" You interrupt him. You had never explicitly told him the moment, though he always said it was at first sight for him. He knew it had taken you some time to adjust to him and get to know him, but he had never really asked about this. Not until now. Too content with the fact that you wanted him just as much as he loved you. 

"N….no."

"We had been dating casually for a couple weeks. After the dinner party. I had texted you before my first flight to London for the Pro Hero Fall Fashion Show." He remembers that day well. He went to see you, not content with letting you go and not saying good bye first. "You came to the airport, no security, no press, dressed like normal, people were shocked because you didn't even try to hide who you were, you just kept moving." He smiles remembering the ass chewing he got for the stunt from his team later. "You brought me flowers and kissed my cheek and told me to have a safe flight…..it was so normal. As though we had been doing that for years and would do it for the rest of our lives…..that moment was when I knew I couldn't live without you." 

Bakugou takes a deep breath, his heart clenching in his chest. 

"Baby I just want to hold you. I miss you so much. It's like I'm not living. Not really when you're gone." 

"I know love, but it's only two more days and I'll be home."

"And you're fucking staying. You promised. No out of the country trips for the rest of the year. We got….things….to do." He waits for it to click for you and when it does he laughs at the sound of you thrashing and throwing yourself around with excitement. 

"I can't wait to get started. I'd love to have a little boy that looks just like you. A mini Katsuki!" 

"Baby ill be happy with whatever we have as long as they come from you and they're healthy."

"I love you so much Kat." 

"I love you too baby. Go back to sleep, 'm sorry for waking you….." you yawn again, settling down in bed. "Oh one more thing before you go?" You hum, waiting for him to continue. "Watch the interview tomorrow. I want you to see it."

********

You woke up feeling empty, the call from Katsuki had put you in such a great mood that it almost felt like he was there. But as you stretched out and opened your eyes to your cold bed you're filled with sadness. But only a couple more days and then you'd be with your hero again.

Thinking of him reminds you of the interview. It should have been posted by now so you type in the link to it on your phone and sit on the edge of your hotel bed to watch it. 

It starts normally, you smile as Katsuki grumpily answers the female reporter, roll your eyes when she flirts because can she not see your name tattooed on his chest or the ring on his finger? But then it gets to the last question and a stunned, endearing emotion sweeps through you. 

"So Dynamight. The fans have a final question. What is your greatest accomplishment? What would you say that is?"

"Marrying my wife." He doesn't miss a beat or even wait for her to finish. The reporter flounders, obviously not prepared for that response. 

"Well, we mean professionally and career wise-"

"Nothing else matters." His face is set, tone flat and serious, no room for argument. He meant it and that was that. You feel yourself falling in love all over. The way this man is always about YOU. You've never been loved like he loves you. It makes you just want him all the more.

Just as you're about to turn it off and call him your phone pings, there's a new photo on his official Instagram and you immediately click on it. 

It's a picture of you. From the first night you met, you didn't even know he had this picture. He's holding you close, one hand on your waist, the other in yours as you dance. He leans close as if he's whispering to you and you're blushing and grinning. 

The caption reads: "Nothing else matters."

[rossary-of-the-rose]

So. I just listened to MAG 200, finally finishing the fever dream that is The Magnus Archives, and all I have to say is: Holy shit. Just. Good lord.

Look, I knew it was going to be sad. I've been on Pinterest. But Jesus. I was not prepared. Now I'm shaking and will certainly be curling in the fetal position later, sobbing and screaming into the void. I mean, I'm happy for Basira, Melanie & Georgie of course, as well as our beloved Admiral, but God. Jon and Martin, I love you, you deserved so much better, I see why all your fanfics are fix it. But even just thinking about everyone we have lost, all the characters I got emotionally attached to. Sasha. Tim. Daisy. Michael Shelley. Even thinking about all the avatars (I'm a sucker for a villian, what can I say?) makes my lungs spasm with love and want. I shall miss them all for eternity.

And so ends possibly the greatest experience I've ever had with a fandom, at least until I recover enough to start tmagp. Everything about tma is just pure amazingness. Everything. It's funny how much you can grow to love random people just by hearing them voice act a character and laugh in bloopers. I love them so much, the whole cast. The two blooper episodes brought me more joy than I think I have ever experienced with a piece of media, trumping even the mighty Good Omens, which is saying something (To be fair though, Not with that thong on! and Oh god, I'm knackered, I've been doing all this labelling! would make anyone crack up, although perhaps not continue hysterically giggling for over fifty minutes... They still pop into my head sometimes and I'll just randomly snort in really inappropriate situations because I'm gonna buy some 'ead and shoulders, 'cause I found one on the road this mornin'! and Gertrude's been on the sauce, need I say more? Yes? Alright then,if you insist - Happy little DOORBELLS! FifTy MInUteS eArLY! and Fuck you, Jonny. God, he drags the rest of us down. What a wanker! I could go on, but I feel these brackets have already gotten way longer than they have any business being). I love these strangers more than I love anyone else I've actually met before, except my partner. They are everything to me. And I cannot wait to re-listen to all five seasons yet again, definitely screaming and crying and laughing and screaming while I do so. I have never before listened to and experienced something so perfect. Alex and Jonny, you have legitimately changed my life in all the best and worst ways possible, and I hate you and love you for it. You have my utmost gratitude and admiration, also kindly piss off.

Seriously though, the genuine adoration and idolization I hold for all the voice actors is sort of concerning. VA for Simon Fairchild gets a special mention, as well as Michael The Distortion because how is it possible to fall in love with a person after listening to only their voice for thirty seconds-

[powderblueblood]

Hiya hiya!! I am a massive fucking fan of your writing it is so stimulating for my little distracted brain. On the topic of hai I would LOVE to know more about Lacy's part-time gig at The Bookstore!!!! How often does she work there? Does Lacy get to set up displays and recommend books? Do Eddie or Ronnie ever hang out with Lacy there? (And subsequently does Ivana threaten to perma-ban them from The Bookstore for being so goddamn loud and distracting her best employee???) I am so fucking curious and would love to see it explored a little more 🧡

LEE!!!! thank you so much for your kind kind words and THANK YOU for giving me an excuse to touch upon one of my favorite little elements of the hellfire & ice universe-- THEE BOOKSTORE

i'll be the first to admit that i don't know a goddamn thing about the TARDIS but what i do know is that it's bigger on the inside. same logic applies to the bookstore. place is an intricate network of atriums and ventricles separated by bookcases that are so overstuffed, they seem like they're going to keel over like dominoes any second. it smells like warm and dust and it's always semi-dark in there, with lamps seemingly having sprung from the ground in the most strategic of places. wall sconces sprout from the woodwork, supported by dodgy, illegal wiring. you take your life in your hands any time you walk in there, essentially. but you'd never know it! because it's serene and it's peaceful until--

lacy starts working there. and for some reason, it seems that lacy, eddie, ronnie and chaos are a package deal. eddie and ronnie use the darkened corners of the bookstore to the full extent of their danger, playing endless games of 'who can scare lacy by hiding in the world history section' which has earned more than one heavy biography of ferdinand magellan being aimed at eddie munson's head.

one even made contact, and eddie insisted that lacy stand there holding an ice cream sandwich to his 'poor brutalized' head because he 'couldn't move his arms' due to the 'concussion'.

ivana, the owner, our beloved ivana, hates these kids. even if eddie is convinced that she's trying to take him as her next controversially young husband-- her fifth. ivana hates them, but never actually follows through on her threatened lifetime bans because ivana also occasionally drinks at the hideout.

a moment for ivana: ivana is so, so fucking cool. ivana used to sell fetish mags in brown paper bags back in the 50s. ivana once lived in new york, and according to legend, threw an olive at norman mailer (eddie: "who?" lacy: "don't worry about it") and it bounced off his head and into andy warhol's drink. ivana is approximately four hundred years old with a platinum blonde beehive, a list of lovers longer than mae west's, a voice like a cement truck and she will never die.

lacy wants to be exactly like her when she grows up-- only, not living in indiana, of course.

ivana has lacy on weekends and some evenings; basically, if her spidey sense tingles and she figures that girl could use something to do. lacy, inflicted with the pathological need to be the best at fucking everything, is a good worker and the best kind of salesperson a place like that could have.

which is to say that she's kind of snooty and derisive of people's pedestrian tastes. it oscillates from customers storming out to customers buying whatever she tells them to, in some misguided attempt to impress her.

precocious and pretentious eighteen year olds have this effect on people. many such cases.

one person it does not have any effect on is eddie munson.

he watches lacy put like, painstaking effort into her staff pick of the week! (she always fights for three) or her display of russian literature ranked by themes of romanticism v nihilism! (the brothers karamazov sits on the top of the display like an angel on a christmas tree)... and then he fucks with it. swaps out a room of one's own with are you there god? it's me, margaret, even if that does prompt lacy giving eddie a keynote speech on the importance of judy blume's forever.

"... and yeah, it's about as thrilling as a slice of wonderbread, but that book is probably why i'm on the pill."

this seems to give eddie pause. "... you're on the pill?"

"what's that look?"

"no, uh-- no, just. good. decision. smart, responsible decision-making. good to... know."

[real-total-drama-takes]

Y'all can't handle this

Y'all don't know what's about to happen baby

Team 10

Los Angeles, Cali boy

But I'm from Ohio though, white boy

It's everyday bro, with the Disney Channel flow

5 mill on YouTube in 6 months, never done before

Passed all the competition man, PewDiePie is next

Man I'm poppin' all these checks, got a brand new Rolex

And I met a Lambo too and I'm coming with the crew

This is Team 10, bitch, who the hell are flippin' you?

And you know I kick them out if they ain't with the crew

Yeah, I'm talking about you, you beggin' for attention

Talking shit on Twitter too but you still hit my phone last night

It was 4:52 and I got the text to prove

And all the recordings too, don't make me tell them the truth

And I just dropped some new merch and it's selling like a god, church

Ohio's where I'm from, we chew 'em like it's gum

We shooting with a gun, the tattoo just for fun

I Usain Bolt and run, catch me at game one

I cannot be outdone, Jake Paul is number one

It's everyday bro

It's everyday bro

It's everyday bro

I said it is everyday bro!

You know it's Nick Crompton and my collar stay poppin'

Yes, I can rap and no, I am not from Compton

England is my city

And if it weren't for Team 10, then the US would be shitty

I'll pass it to Chance 'cause you know he stay litty

Two months ago you didn't know my name

And now you want my fame? Bitch I'm blowin' up

I'm only going up, now I'm going off, I'm never fallin' off

Like Mag, who? Digi who? Who are you?

All these beefs I just ran through, hit a milli in a month

Where were you? Hatin' on me back in West Fake

You need to get your shit straight

Jakey brought me to the top, now we're really poppin' off

Number one and number four, that's why these fans all at our door

It's lonely at the top so we all going

We left Ohio, now the trio is all rollin'

It's Team 10, bitch

We back again, always first, never last

We the future, we'll see you in the past

It's everyday bro

It's everyday bro

It's everyday bro

I said it is everyday bro!

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on (espera)

Can we switch the language? (Ha, ya tú sabes)

We 'bout to hit it (dale)

Sí, lo único que quiero es dinero

Trabajando en YouTube todo el día entero

Viviendo en U.S.A, el sueño de cualquiera

Enviando dólares a mi familia entera

Tenemos una persona por encima

Se llama Donald Trump y está en la cima

Desde aquí te cantamos can I get my VISA?

Martinez Twins, representando España

Desde la pobreza a la fama

It's everyday bro

It's everyday bro

It's everyday bro

I said it is everyday bro!

Yo, it's Tessa Brooks

The competition shook

These guys up on me

I got 'em with the hook

Lemme educate ya'

And I ain't talking book

Panera is your home?

So, stop calling my phone

I'm flyin' like a drone

They buying like a loan

Yeah, I smell good

Is that your boy's cologne?

Is that your boy's cologne?

Started balling', quicken Loans

Now I'm in my flippin' zone

Yes, they all copy me

But, that's some shitty clones

Stay in all designer clothes

And they ask me what I make

I said is 10 with six zeros

Always plug, merch link in bio

And I will see you tomorrow 'cause it's everyday bro

Peace

-🍇

Why, grape anon,

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

if you have not seen discowing era dick… you need to. you may rethink the fashion stance lmao 😂 just imagine kate giving him shit for that, which he of course will defend by going after the Infamous Hip Holes

also while he has been a cop (ugh) dick really just picks a career and magically gets it???? like epitome of a nepo baby, bruce just buys him jobs I am CONVINCED. he’s been a social worker, a museum curator, a cop, he owned a crossfit studio (if you see babs on the yoga mat upstairs in GK, it’s a nod to that!), and depending on canon he has a law degree????

and riffing off of that degree… nightwing vs. daredevil rivalry WHEN. they are parkour badasses. they’re street level heroes who are just regular guys. they have fantastic asses. dick you cannot also have a law degree you CANNOT TAKE MATT’S ONE THING— my running joke is that if dick shows up and he’s better than matt at everything, matt might have a Small Existential Crisis

xoxo dickate anon 🩵💜

oh i KNEW about discowing when i called him a fashion boi. I did not specify it was good fashion. nightwing is that one tiktok. "I don't dress for men, I dress for little girls (children?) who have been told at some point in their lives that this is not a fashion show, and for old women drunk on their porch."

also nepo baby dick is hiLArious considering that I have been thinking all day about how in a separate-universes world, everyone in Kate's world thinks he's a golddigger. The tabloids and gossip mags are so confused??? He's a stay at home boyfriend? He literally doesn't have a job. He basically doesn't even exist. Kate's always saying he's home visiting his family, or traveling. Is he a spy? Does he do crime? He didn't know who Captain America was, he's just a himbo. He absolutely could not be a spy. Dick LOVES this, I feel like. It's much funnier when people think that about him than when they think that about Kate (which is what happens when she goes to his universe)

There's a post from forever ago about someone who's supervisor called their partner "Boytoy" at work, like, exclusively. And the guy knew and was fine with it, but anyway he came in one day and the op went "Mr. Toy, I presume?" and he went "The very one." This is very much Dick and Kate. also somehow he meets Anthony Bourdain, and this is a Good Timeline where he's still alive and Dick winds up traveling with him for a few episodes? That would be a fun dichotomy

Kate turns her back for five seconds and Clint and Dick have gone undercover at a circus. Kate expected this from Clint, but Dick knows better. Which prompts Dick explaining that CLINT is the brains of the operation, not Dick, he's the beauty, and Clint getting mad because HE'S the beauty, and Kate just sighs. Clearly neither of you are the brains.

Dick loves that there are no expectations of him in Kate's universe. It's like a vacation. He gets to be a himbo here. There's absolutely a pic of them on insta that he captioned "this barbie is an Avenger. He's just ken" and he will not HEAR Kate's arguments about how technically by Barbie/Ken rules he is also a Barbie. Dick pouts and is like I AM KENOUGH.

All of this leads to a mostly funny conception the Avengers have of Dick. They know he's Nightwing, he doesn't really need a secret identity here, but they don't...get it. He's bouncy and casual because he's still watching Kate's teams, figuring out how best to support, and he doesn't want to step on Kate's toes by accidentally being Too In Charge. So there's this idea that he really IS a himbo until Kate gets injured or captured. If she gets injured on a mission he's on? Look. It clears things up right away. He will absolutely rip apart whatever faction or organization caused that to happen with his bare hands. And God for-fucking-bid he encounters the actual individual responsible for harming her. I'm not saying someone's getting kicked off of a roof but, someone is moving from the roof to the sidewalk in the most expedient way possible.

This is also funny because it makes very clear how different their preferred fighting styles are, because Kate picked A VERY DEFENSIBLE POSITION, please stop worrying, Dick. And she's right! It is! IF YOUR PREFERRED WEAPON IS RANGED.

Now Dick is standing over his mostly unconscious girlfriend who looks like her face got scraped against the ground (because it did), preparing to defend them from all sides. fucking snipers.

It also leads to a fun moment where Kate can't lead. Eli isn't there, so normally command of the team would slide into Cap's purview (if cap and whoever his second is are down, Avengers command would slide over to Kate) so Cap is getting ready to start giving the YA some orders and Dick, not even THINKING about it, just kind of assumes command of the young Avengers and NONE OF THEM QUESTION IT???? He doesn't lead like Kate. He doesn't give orders like Kate, he doesn't even sound like Kate, with cadence or whatever. But there's something that is just kate like enough that her team is like yep this is correct. (The same thing will happen in reverse with the titans) After that the Avengers stop roasting him behind Kate's back.

Also, THE HIP HOLES. look. We need to admit that Kate, canonically, does not have great taste in her avengering uniform. Why did she choose this look? why is she so attached to it?

Like if Kate has the audacity to genuinely criticize discowing?? If for some reason she's wearing a different costume or they got tossed into Gotham in their civvies, her team will absolutely throw her under the bus in order to get brownie points with the batkids.

You can't talk about the deep vee when you had YOUR ENTIRE ABDOMEN OUT BABE. Nothing! Not even a tissue! The body confidence is great Kate but seriously how did you not die. (he's into the scarf, though)

And if Kate actually wears the hip holes? Dick is poking at her trying to figure out if they're actually holes? Is there mesh there? Is it flesh toned fabric? No?? It's actually holes? This man is going to stick his hand in one just to see because what the fuck, Kate, and Kate's going to be like. Dick. Dickie. Nightwing. Your hand is under my costume. Do you realize where your hand is.

Is THAT what it's for?!?!? Dick is now seeing how far he can get his hand. The small of her back? Her other hip? Their friends are scREAMing. Guys? Could you do this some other time?? Like maybe when we're NOT ON FUCKING PATROL?????

anyway now Dick is wondering how far he can actually get his hand inside her uniform and he WASN'T thinking about it Like That before but he sure is now

[thislovintime]

David Crosby and Peter Tork at Monterey Pop Festival, June 1967 (photo by Ann Moses); Crosby at Peter's house in 1969, photo by Henry Diltz.

In memoriam: David Crosby

Q: "hey @thedavidcrosby what’s your opinion of the monkees?" David Crosby: "I was good friends with Tork so I will not say" - Twitter, June 26, 2020

"David let me have his — well, not his apartment, he had a house, and David let me stay there for most of a year. It was sort of by way of interest on the loan [of $25,000] I gave him to buy his boat, and I stayed there with my, with my then girlfriend [Reine Stewart], and our daughter [Hallie] was born in that house." - Peter Tork, GOLD 104.5, 1999

Peter Tork: “First, I met Crosby when I was a Village hippie. Nothing had happened for me yet, I was still singing folk songs with my little banjo and passing the basket. I knew McGuinn, who had been in the Village scene with me; we used to play guitar together in the apartments and smoke a little weed and sing and play together, and I knew him pretty well. He went off to L.A. and came back with the Byrds, and they were doing a TV show, and they came back to the Village. McGuinn said, ‘Let me show you my old stomping grounds,’ and they walked into some of the cafes that I used to inhabit, so I had dinner with those guys once and met Crosby there. Interestingly enough, I remember McGuinn and Crosby, and I hardly remember the other guys at all. I met them all there; all five were there, but I hardly remember anybody, except for some reason, Crosby was there. Beard-less, mustache-less, but still with that kind of subtly gleeful look on his face that he always has.” […] Q: “Crosby has fond memories of you, but he remembers you as ‘a little innocent.’ Do you have any sense of what he might have meant by that?” PT: “I guess he was starting to screw around with some pretty serious drugs. In terms of the drugs, I smoked dope and I did my share of acid, but as far as the harder stuff — what we called the harder stuff — I wasn’t averse to a nighttime cocaine run, but amazingly, I never got addicted to it, I never got caught. In the middle of a nighttime run, you want more, but you go to bed and you wake up the next day, and you’re not like, ‘Oh God, I’ve got to have another one; I’ve got to have another one.’ For some reason, I’m a pretty addictive personality, but coke didn’t grab me, and I didn’t ever do enough of anything else to tell the tale. I don’t know that Crosby was talking about drugs when he was talking about my innocence. I am absolutely of the optimistic believer in the better angels of our nature type of guy, and I absolutely was then." - 2007 interview, published by Rolling Stone in 2019 (read more here)

"I borrowed $25,000 from my friend Peter Tork of The Monkees and went to Fort Lauderdale in search of a schooner. I found one that looked just like the John Alden piece I admired years ago and bought it. The 74-foot boat was called Mayan and was built in 1947 from Honduran mahogany." - David Crosby, itBoat dot com, July 28, 2015

"Once [Stephen] Stills and David Crosby and my then girlfriend [Reine Stewart] and I were jamming together [at my house] and I leaning into the drums something ferocious, banging on cymbals and lashing out pretty good, until a city councilman and a cop came over and we were so loud that we drowned out conversation down the hill, apparently." - Review Mag, May 2016

CSNY rehearsing at Peter's house, and more: here; plus, more Crosby mentions here.

[ereardon]

Come Back [Chapter 10][Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x OC]

Summary: Eight years ago, Bradley Bradshaw was just a college boyfriend who broke your heart. Now, he’s back in your life after a coincidental reunion, and he’s adamant about starting up a friendship. Will it be possible to be just friends with Bradley, or is he inevitably going to end up ruining everything you’ve spent the better part of a decade rebuilding?

Pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x OC [Nurse Maggie Brooms]

WC: 1.8K

Warnings: Cursing, angst, mention of death

Series masterlist

The second letter was dropped off at the hospital, along with a to-go salad and a bag of salt and vinegar chips, your favorite. You were embarrassed to admit how quickly you rushed off to the lounge to tear it open. 

Bradley’s previous letter had left you in tears. 

Hey Mags. In the last letter I said I’d start from the beginning. But I missed a few days, so let’s backtrack. 

The night we fought. 

It haunts me. I’ve never felt more awful than I did walking out of your apartment that night. Maybe when you told me about the baby, or the day my mother died. But seeing you hurt like that? It tore me apart. 

I knew the moment I saw you that night on the floor that I had changed the course of our entire lives. 

I knew it the moment that other girl pressed her hand on my thigh at the party. The moment I let everything we had dreamed of slip away. 

It was a mistake, Maggie, and I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am. I didn’t do it to hurt you. I didn’t even do it because I wanted her. How could anyone be better than you, more beautiful than you, smarter than you? I think I did it because somewhere deep down, I was terrified. I was scared that somewhere along the way, I would disappoint you. Even if I was trying to be the man you needed me to be, I would disappoint you. And I was afraid of how much it would hurt to know that I wasn’t enough for you, even when I gave it my all. So maybe I let myself be tempted because I knew that it was an easier way out than living with the unbearable knowledge that no matter how hard I tried, I would never be good enough for you. 

It was a surefire way to confirm that I didn’t deserve you without spending years waiting for the hammer to drop. And that was selfish of me.

I’ve regretted it every day since. You gave me absolutely everything and so much more than I even realized at the time. And I tore it all down in a matter of minutes. 

What would have happened if I had never made that mistake? If you and I had stayed together after graduation? 

Do you ever wonder about the life we would have had together?

I do. All the time. I think we’d live here, in my parent’s house. You’d get really into gardening and making vegetable soup as soon as the temperature dipped below seventy degrees. I’d stop by the farmer’s market in the mornings after our night watch to buy you pastries and coffee, and wake you up on lazy Saturday mornings in bed with breakfast on a tray. I think we would have been happy. It would have been hard, no doubt about that. We were so young and so naive. But God, Mags, the way I loved you. It could have been enough. 

You rebuilt me from the ground up. It wasn’t just that you were the first person to tell me you loved me outside of my parents. You spent the time to see me for who I was, anticipate my needs without me ever having to say them. I’ll never know a love like that again. I was lucky to have had you for a moment let alone three years. 

There’s no amount of ‘I’m sorry’ that will fix the damage I’ve done. No amount of groveling or gifts. All I can do is tell you that I’ll spend forever trying to buy back your faith in me, Maggie. I don’t have my eye on anyone else. I don’t care about anyone else. It is, and always will be, you. 

Love, 

Bradley 

***

You set the letter down and wiped away a tear. 

After your shift, you had driven home and pulled it out of your bag to re-read it. Bradley’s handwriting had improved significantly since college. 

It seems a lot of parts of him had changed since that night. 

He was no longer the fraternity guy who had broken your heart. You had spent eight years thinking he walked out with no regard for how you felt. The fact that you never heard from him again had torn you apart. If it hadn’t been for the pregnancy and the visit to the ER you might never have recovered. Meeting Joan, going to nursing school, those events had given you a purpose. 

Without them, you might never have been able to get over the heartbreak of watching Bradley walk out that door. 

So a part of you welcomed the knowledge that it hadn’t been easy for him to walk away. There was even a whisper of comfort knowing that he had been outside that night. The timing didn’t line up. It never had for the two of you. You were too young and too in love and now you were older, but different people. He was a stranger to you.

So why did you still ache for him? 

***

Dear Mags,

I never told you much about my parents, and you were too considerate to break that boundary and ask. You still don’t know why I joined the Navy or became an aviator. When you knew me, I was just a stupid kid who was getting a degree but had no real plans for the future. I don’t know what you saw in me, to be honest. 

I know what I saw in you, though. Fire. Ambition. Drive. All of the things I wanted for myself. You shaped me without ever realizing it.  

After graduation I came home. I did the only thing that felt like an option, I went to Officer Candidate School in Pensacola. It’s essentially a few months where they train you, treat you like a pledge, and when you’re done you’re an officer. 

My father was an aviator. He died in service, from an issue ejecting from a jet, when I was three years old. 

Following in his footsteps was the only future I had with you out of the picture. It’s dangerous, I’m not going to lie to you. There have been several times I thought I might not come home from this. But it’s OK because there’s never been someone at home waiting for me to come back. I don’t have a wife or a son who would mourn me. 

You were the first person I could see a future with, Maggie. You were the only person who made me feel the way I know my parents felt about each other. 

With you out of the picture, I wasn’t afraid to put my life at risk. What did I have to live for, really? 

So I joined the Navy. And the very first time I got in the cockpit of a jet I knew it was the right choice. Some people find their passion early in life. I was twenty three. And I still remember how the air felt on my skin as I climbed the ladder into the cockpit. The way the sun hit me through the glass top. It was the most natural thing in the world, sitting there. 

I think if we had stayed together, I wouldn’t have done it. I wouldn’t have been able to stomach the idea of being in the Navy and flying the way we fly knowing you were at home, waiting on me. 

That’s perhaps the only fringe benefit of that night. 

That’s how I ended up here. North Island is home to me. I can’t believe you ended up here, too. Fate, Mags. Or chance. Luck. Coincidence. Whatever it is, I’m thankful. 

Talk to you tomorrow. 

Love, 

Bradley 

***

Dear Bradley,

I haven’t written a letter in I don’t know how long. Years, definitely. 

I hate to say that your first letter made me cry. Even after everything, I didn’t want you to be alone at graduation. I’m glad you had friends around, but it still hurts. You were so easy to love, Bradley. In that sense, you were never alone. 

Would you hate me if you knew that I never once thought you regretted it? I thought you simply walked out of my life with no regard for me or the future we had built up in our minds. Maybe thinking so little of you was the only way I could get through the pain of it all. 

I love vegetable soup by the way, with really crusty bread and a shit ton of butter. But I have a black thumb so I’ll have to forgo the garden. I bought a tomato plant once, put it outside. Waited all damn season and one half ass tomato grew. When I went to pick it, after days of careful watching, I found out a squirrel had beat me to it. It’s been farmer’s markets and Whole Foods for me ever since. 

I'm sorry about your dad. But it all makes sense now. Why you don’t talk about them. Why you went into the Navy. All of that pain that you push down, Brad, it eats you away. You shouldn’t be so afraid to say it outloud. Let them live on in your memories. They’re a part of you. 

We were young. We were stupid and naive and all of the things you have to be to fall in love at nineteen and think that it’ll last forever. 

That doesn’t mean I would have grown out of my love for you, Bradley. If you hadn’t done what you did, if you had never left, who’s to say we wouldn’t have made it? Who’s to say we wouldn’t have been able to work past it all. I think you underestimate how much I fucking loved you. You’re right. I wanted to build you up and make you mine and create a home for you. You deserved that. You deserved to know what it was like to be loved by someone. Wholly. Unconditionally. 

You’re right, Bradley. You have a piece of my heart. You’ve had it for years. I think we’ve both been walking around a little broken all this time. 

Here’s the thing. I think we need to get past it. Because a part of me doesn’t regret what happened. If you hadn’t cheated, you never would have left. I never would have gone to the hospital alone or met Joan or decided to go into nursing. You wouldn’t have joined the Navy. Neither of us would be the people we are today if we hadn’t split apart that night. 

Sometimes people leave, Bradley, but sometimes people stay. 

We made our way together once. 

Who’s to say we can’t make our way back to each other? 

Love, 

Maggie 

Tag list: @abaker74 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @luckyladycreator2 @marantha @tayrae515 @xoxabs88xox @mak-32 @bradshawsbitch @lilianashomaresparza

[redactedwriting]

oh yeah he totally doesn’t jerk off to that fall out boy poster, he totally doesn’t buy any fob mag that comes out, the ones with pete on them, published specifically to make all the girls swoon, showing pete shirtless in the pages of some, he totallyyy doesn’t stare at it, holding the page open in one hand and the other furiously jerking off, humping up into his fist, whining and shooting his load right onto pete and leaving the pages sticky with his cum.. later on when he gets signed eventually pete comes over and ryan doesn’t have time to clean up and pete sees the poster on his wall. he teases him for it lightheartedly but pete really likes having this much power over the kid, knowing he practically worships him. pete being the snoop he is sees something sticking out from under ryan’s mattress and he pulls it out, and it’s the magazine lmaooo, pete was expecting that but not of his band, of him, he was expecting it to be one full of girls with their tits and ass out. there’s a few like that, but you can tell they haven’t uh, been put to as much use as this one. ryan comes out from the bathroom to see pete holding it and he freaks, blushes and stutters apologies. but pete doesn’t care, he’s actually rock hard and pete has been for the boy since he saw ryan’s live journal posts of him posing in fall out boy merch and posting his ass for everyone to see in those tight jeans. pete has the upper hand here as always and he says a line along something like “you want to come on me for real baby boy?” and they wind up making out and when pete sees ryan’s cock he’s shocked at his size, how big he is. pete ends up riding ryan into his bed and ryan is sobbing because he’s so unbelievably overwhelmed and so lucky and holy shit he can’t last, he doesn’t last more than a minute at most, pete is heavier than him and so warm, pete doesn’t stop fucking himself on it once ryan cums inside of him. ry is so overstimmed he swears he’s gonna pee and he whines really high like a girl warning him that he thinks he’s gonna pee and he can’t hold it. pete grins wide and groans, leans down and licks his neck and his tears shushing him and telling his baby boy not to cry, that he can if he needs to, he teases about how hard he is in him even after orgasming. he goes on, how he’s gonna make him famous, that he’ll try every little fucked up fantasy this boy has had. that he’ll fuck him next time, hard. pete notices how ryan is staring at his cock as he bounces on him and he says about how he’s gonna fuck his throat right after this and ryan literally drools and cums again

i’ve always wanted to be a fly on the wall when they first met and anon you just did it for me. genuinely this is so hot and i feel like i’ve been run over by a bus /pos holy fucking shit

pete calling him baby boyyyyyyyy whew. ryan doesn’t know what to do, any sex he’s ever had has immediately left his brain as soon as pete fucking wentz is shirtless on his lap. not even riding him. just sitting on his lap with the fucking bartskull out. ryan wants to touch so bad but he doesn’t know if he’s allowed 🥺

pete grinning down at him and moving ryan’s hands to pete’s hips and telling him “if we’re gonna fuck you’re gonna have to touch me, baby” and ryan goes so fucking reddddd god fuck jesus christ

[barry-j-blupjeans]

omg for the prompts could you do 11 with like. lucretia and magnus i think it has the potential to be rly funny jskfhkd

11. No I promise you’re supposed to pay for it actually. Obviously, I won’t rat you out but like, that was worth money

--

There's a complaint box outside of Lucretia's office that she rarely opened, let alone looked at. Sure, if there were notes starting to break through the sides of the box, she'd go through them. But that had only happened once when Brad was on vacation. Gods, Lucretia was still so grateful that Maureen had reminded her to make a HR. She did not have the energy to deal with complaints.

That being said: Sometimes she did have to deal with them. Notably, whenever someone cornered and talked to her about it. So when Lucretia stepped outside to go eat her lunch and was very abruptly confronted with Garfield the Deals Warlock, she knew it was going to be one of those days.

"DIRECTOR," Garfield said, with the loudness of someone who was trying to talk over the TV on full volume. "THERE IS A THIEF STEALING FROM MY STORE."

"From... the Fantasy Costco," Lucretia said.

"YES," Garfield said. "WHAT OTHER STORES DO I HAVE? DON'T ANSWER THAT. BUT YES, SOMEONE IS STEALING FROM FANTASY COSTCO! AREN'T YOU GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT???"

Literally, what could Lucretia do in this situation? Nothing. She was a frail old woman. She had standards. She wasn't going to camp outside the store and watch.

Later that day, Lucretia's knees were begging for rest as she crouched down behind a checkout counter in the Fantasy Costco. She was bored. She was tired. She was hungry. She had Director Duties to fulfill, like pretending to do paperwork and lying about not being a Red Robe. Why was she wasting her time on time?

Simple answer. She had actual paperwork to do. But it could be done later. If she waited long enough, the Hunger would maybe eat the tax collectors.

It was nearly closing time and barely anyone had been in here all day. She had seen Angus, who politely pretended like she hadn't been staring at him and wished her a good day when she left. Avi hadn't seemed to notice her when he went to buy a bulk pack of energy drinks. One of the guards from the Voidfish's chamber took a break in here to walk around and try samples.

Right now, she was watching Magnus peruse the shelves carefully. He was looking along the weapons wall, nodding to himself quite a lot. Lucretia could be reading or taking a bath. Maybe even looking for further ways to get away with committing tax fraud. Instead, she observed as Magnus made a loud "hmmm" and nodded again.

And she almost missed it- she was getting tired enough that her eyelids were beginning to feel heavy, but she caught it at the last second. Magnus slipped a pocket knife down from the wall and slipped it into his pocket. He looked around and Lucretia ducked back down under the counter for a second. After a moment, she heard Magnus's footsteps going towards the door. When she peeked up again, he was leaving the Fantasy Costco, one pocket knife richer.

Lucretia followed. Quickly, because Magnus's legs were a bit longer than hers and she really didn't want to go down to their dorm this late at night.

"Magnus!" Lucretia said once they were a reasonable distance from the Fantasy Costco. Magnus turned and brightened upon seeing her, waving.

"Director!" he said.

"Magnus," she said, slowing to a stop. She was kind of out of breath. "Mag- just, oooh boy, just give me a second-"

"Take your time," Magnus said. She paused, leaning against her staff. Oof. She needed to be more physically active. Geez.

"Okay," Lucretia said. "Okay. So. You stole a knife."

"...no I didn't," Magnus said. Awful deception roll. Even more awful considering Lucretia knew all his tells.

"I saw you steal it, Magnus," Lucretia said.

"I am lawful good-"

"Neutral good at best," Lucretia said.

"It was a free knife," Magnus said. "No, uh, no price tag. That means it's free."

"No, I promise you're supposed to pay for it, actually," Lucretia said, having endured Garfield's whole rant earlier in the day. "I'm not gonna- obviously, I'm not gonna rat you out, because the Fantasy Costco is quite literally the only place to get groceries or- or anything, but like, that was worth money."

"I mean," Mangus said, floundering for a second. "Like, okay, it cost money. But does Garfield think I'm made of money? Like, fifty gold for a knife? C'mon!"

"That- that is a lot of gold," Lucretia said. "I could- I mean, I don't usually do that, but I could like, lend you some money? Not work-related money. Just as your, uhm, friend. And also because if you don't go back and pay for it, I'm going to have to sit through another three hours of Garfield explaining the economy to me and Magnus? Mangus, listen. I can't do that again."

"Yikes," Magnus said.

"Please, please go return the knife," Lucretia said. "Please."

"Can I have like... thirty minutes with it?" Magnus asked.

"To do what?"

"I'm learning rogue stuff!" Magnus said. "Like I said, lawful good. I wouldn't steal stuff unless someone asked me to.

"Carey," Lucretia said exhaustedly.

"Carey," Magnus confirmed. "So once I show her that I, y'know, got the knife, I'll take it back. Cross my heart."

"And you'll return the other stuff you've stolen?" Lucretia said.

"The- what? Oh!" Magnus laughed, shaking his head. "I didn't steal anything else. This is it. You gotta ask Taako for the other things."

"Of course I do," Lucretia said.

She could go back to her office. But then she'd be confronted with paperwork and her broken radio and the floor she told herself she'd sweep last week and ughhghghg. She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose with her fingers for a second.

"And would you happen to know where Taako is?" Lucretia asked.

[bettsfic]

2022 in writing

whoops, i wrote this at the end of december, put it in my drafts, and forgot about it. this is my seventh year writing a recap and i just read through all of them again. part of me thinks, "it's been 7 years and i haven't accomplished a fraction of what other writers have in that same time." but then the other part of me remembers 1) other writers are on their own path and working at their own speed, and 2) it's unfathomable to me how utterly mentally fucked i used to be. and i mean, i'm still mentally fucked but at least i'm working on getting better. the point is, i had a different starting line than others.

anyway, it's a new year and that means it's time to think to myself for the 7th year running, "dear god when am i going to publish a book." every year i think, this is going to be my year! every year it isn't.

overcame the worst writers' block i've ever had

"overcame" is making it sound more dramatic than it was. i went on a medication that fucked with my brain and then went back off it. but i worry that when i think back on 2022, i'm not going to remember all this cool stuff i did, i'm going to remember how utterly miserable i was for six months. how terrifying it was to feel like someone else was living in my body. i wrote a little bit about it in october's newsletter.

some of this post i've copied over from my newsletter.

but also i have to acknowledge that when i came back to writing, it felt like my brain had been totally rewired and i feel capable, creatively, of about 10x more than i used to be capable of. i'm still trying to articulate what changed and why.

published some things

“shut up and kill me” -- featured in issue 41 of Barren Magazine. the editor who chose it said it was his favorite of the 700+ submissions they received. very happy this weird story has found its home. please heed the warnings!

“coping skills” -- featured in issue 1 of Flossy Lit Mag, a magazine my friends started and which has some great work in it already.

("not if, when" was published january of this year, so it'll go in next year's update)

published other people's things

in 2022, ofic magazine published 33 prose pieces and 3 art pieces! over half of what we accepted came from not yet published authors and you have no idea how happy that makes me.

won a grant

i’m very very excited to say i won the Barbara Deming Memorial Fund grant to help offset the travel expenses of the residency i attended! i’ve been applying to this for years and it’s amazing to have been awarded it. the judges had a lot of lovely things to say about my work and it was a big confidence boost.

did a residency

i spent a month in beautiful Wyoming at the Jentel Arts residency. i met some wonderful artists, got a lot of work done, and had an amazing time. definitely the highlight of my year.

made the top 10 of a big contest

i submitted "Not If, When" to a screenwriting website hosting a prose contest, and out of what seemed to be a lot of submissions, i was a top 10 finalist, and now my story is being pitched to production studios to see if they want to buy the film/tv rights. i've also had a few phone calls with hollywood people wanting to talk to me about my work (i'm still confused about that) and i think they've gone well. no idea what the endgame is here though.

ran other workshop

i intended to run two fanauthor workshops but i only managed one, because of the whole "just gritting my teeth trying to stay alive" thing. but the one i ran i think went really well!

coaching/editing is my job now

i didn't think too much of that until i met with my thesis advisor to get caught up and she was like, wow that's the dream. and she invited me to be a panelist for the annual publishing symposium at my alma mater.

i'm not getting rich or anything, but i've picked up enough commercial copywriting work to make ends meet.

applied/submitted to a few places

totals:

11 residencies (8 rejections, 2 rejections with encouraging feedback, 1 acceptance)

4 publications (1 encouraging rejection, 3 acceptances)

1 award (1 acceptance)

2 screenwriting-ish contests (1 rejection, 1 finalist placement)

this has been far and away my most successful submission year. 6 major wins!

wrote 421k words

what's extra wild about this word count is that ~400k of it was across 6 months. from january 1 to june 16, i wrote only 22k words. and then from june 17 to december 31, i wrote the rest. and for the finished works, this doesn't include their respective trash docs (where i put everything i cut from a story). if i add in those, it's an additional ~90k.

year over year word count comparison:

2022: 421k

2021: 183k

2020: 375k

2019: 430k

2018: 450k

2017: 150k

2016: 343k

2015: 250k

2014: 311k

nine year total: 2,913,000

& other stuff

i really advocated for my mental health this year and i'm super proud of that. i mean dealing with my brain was basically a full-time job and i've come to accept i'll be spending my entire life micromanaging my own head, but for now things are okay

unfortunately i got a diagnosis that wasn't what i expected, that seems mostly correct, and which i'm having trouble accepting

i moved into an apartment with my best friend and it's going really well so far

the only travel i did was to missouri to visit family, and to wyoming for my residency

2022 goal recap (from 2021)

sell a book any book dear god -- got close, but nope

finish a draft of a new novel -- big nope

get an apartment -- yep! and it's great

publish 3 issues of OFIC -- yes and i'm very proud of them

publish 12 newsletters -- no, published 5 newsletters

register OFIC Press as a nonprofit -- not yet, working on it (this is far more difficult than i thought it would be)

run a successful Fanauthor Workshop -- yep! 2 sessions out of my goal of 4

write a proposal for a fanfiction craft book -- no, but i talked to my agent about it and now we're working on it together

write a script (pilot or feature) and submit to contests -- yes but it was Bad and i've gotta, you know, make it not bad

2023 goals

these are going to be remarkably similar to last year's, considering it's all just stuff that's been set in motion.

SELL A BOOK

finish a new novel (it's february and i've already kind of done this, but still putting it on here)

publish 4 issues of ofic mag

publish at least 6 newsletters

build the 2024 ofic press catalogue

apply for nonprofit status

run 4 workshop sessions

submit nonfiction proposal

build a script portfolio (feature, pilot, spec)

find a healthy balance between writing and living

annual thank you!

despite how badly i derailed for the first half of the year, i'm really grateful to fandom, readers, and all the friends i've made here for your support and encouragement, without which i wouldn't have been able to do any of this.

prior year recaps: 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021

[lycanlovingvampyre]

MAG 153 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: apple cutting.

"Intelligence doesn’t make you less prone to taking on bad ideas, it just makes you better at defending them to other people and to yourself. Smart people can believe some truly ridiculous things, and then deploy all the reason and logic at their disposal to justify them, because a belief doesn’t begin in your mind. It begins in your feelings. Cults are very good at finding you when you’re at your lowest point, when you’re your most emotionally vulnerable. And when you’re at that point it’s astounding what can crawl into your heart and start to fester there." Generally I'd say "intelligent people" are a lot less prone to joining stupid ideas. Especially since we now had a global event, that put this to the test. The Covid pandemic. All those people, of whom I'd have expected to believe stupid shit, did. I personally know no one, who surprised me to suddenly chime in to a conspiracy theory. But a few friends told me they had someone like this in their circle of friends and acquaintances - someone they always deemed smart and stable and suddenly they fell down this hole because they lost something important to them that put them at an emotional low. And then they’ll want to believe that shit that would them get their thing back.

"But that was when I started to properly look at my life, and I really didn’t like what was looking back." Ah yes, getting back to that DMN talk from yesterday's episode. The ability of self-awareness buys us the ticket to depression.

"And I’d always assumed that that was enough to eventually have real success, and for the first 10 years it seemed like I was right. I worked my way up, performed for basically nothing basically every night and got to be pretty successful." Yeah, I know that feeling... I get pretty decent fairly quickly when I latch onto a new interest. Problem is, I stay there. After my initial climb to "better than average" I stagnate and no matter what I do I just won't climb any higher. But I’m surrounded by people who do get farther and I stay just behind. It's frustrating. Doomed to be mediocre forever.

"do you know how much a “pretty successful” comedian makes?" Another line that's featured in the "Jonathan asks you things" video!^^

"Let’s just say I had a full-time office job and was still barely making rent. But between working full-time and gigging full-time I just kept putting off everything else in my life, always so sure the big time was just around the corner. This is the TV spot that gets me noticed, this is the sell-out fringe show that makes me mainstream, this is the deal that actually goes somewhere." Is that still part of the statement or is this just Jonny venting? xD

So Agape apparently means "love", and in Christianity it's meant as the love for god or god's love for humankind. Fits the toxic love theme.

“We formed into a long line, a chain holding hands with Joyce at the very end of it. It stretched from one end of the building to the other. “ When I hear about cult settlements, my mind wanders pretty quickly to Jonestown. And while there's nothing even remotely in common aside from just being a cult, there is one thing, that actually did remind me a bit of Jonestown. The thing about the cult members having to line up for the horrible thing. (If you're not familiar with Jonestown and are planning to look it up, be warned for suicide. Mass murder-suicide. It’s extremely gruesome...)

"Did you ever do that experiment in science class, where you held hands in a line and the teacher passed a very gentle electric shock down through the students" Okay first, what the fuck, no? Second, this is also in the "Jonathan asks you things" video!

JON: "He asked me to." JULIA: "Oh really? You always do what evil books tell you to, do you?" Oh wow... That was a low blow...

JON: "Christ, he was right, I didn’t – didn’t – when did you get so thin?" DAISY: "I’m not, it’s fine." JON: "It’s the Hunt, isn’t it? Without it –" Not submitting to their purpose does eat away at them. And to think that Jon never really as one of the physically fittest people out there..

JON: "Don’t listen to the blood." DAISY: "Listen to the quiet." One of my favorite quotes of TMA <3

@a-mag-a-day

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls-Season 2, Episode 1 ("Sadie Sadie")

Full steam ahead! We have now arrived at Season 2, the Jess Season. It's gonna be an absolute fucking nightmare that I am not looking forward to. Enjoy! Please visit the Denise Rewatches Gilmore Girls tag for all of my past reviews!

Thanks to MaxMedina, SH is absolutely infested with daisies. People are stepping on daisies. They're shaking daisies out of their pants. There's daisies in the food. I am praying Dean Forrester is allergic to daisies and becomes absolutely debilitated with hay fever. Michel is most likely still complaining about how daisies are weeds and is even more insufferable to work with than usual.

I'm pretty sure some kind of daisy-cult has sprouted up in the aftermath of MaxMedina's pre-proposal manipulation tactic.

Peep this guy with a TJ Maxx bag, lol. Someone escaped The Hollow/Daisy Cult and visited the outside world! Good for you, guy.

You gotta respect the hustle of this dude in the background, living in a town where yellow daisies are so free and plentiful they're growing freely out of people's buttcracks, to set up a cart to try and SELL them. Some Stars Hollowans are not so bright. You can see it looks like someone is actually buying them. "A Stars Hollowan and their money are soon parted". -Famous Quote.

God I fucking love shows from the early 2000's. Lane referring to her "parents" sending her to Korea, instead of just her mother.

Just want to take a moment to check out all these vintage magazine covers. Lorelai pays Bootsy for her magazine (he doesn't look up from his paper to see how much she gave him, but still) but she can't pay Luke for her food.

That's a lot of bridal magazines for a town where Lorelai is probably the only person who is currently semi-engaged. Rory buys a bridal mag for Lorelai for $6. That seems like a pretty outrageous price for a magazine in 2001. Bootsy must be in cahoots with the guy selling daisies. We learn that Lorelai has not yet accepted Max's proposal.

The DaisyCult members are gathering.

Not to sound like a broken record but but doesn't anyone in Stars Hollow have a job? How does their economy not collapse? Does the town survive on tourism, outsiders buying snowglobes and keychains? Because clearly the people who actually live here are bored and desperate for stimulation. Rory Gilmore needs to get a job. Okay, where was I... Lorelai: Everything about me turns Luke off. My coffee, my eating habits. I called him Ranger Bob last week! Kinky.

These people crushed up against the door blocking the exit are a real fire hazard.

LORELAI HE'S USING A CAN OF SUPERMARKET COFFEE RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN. HE HAS NO FUCKING SHAME! YOU'RE LOOKING AT IT! THIS IS LUKE'S SUPER SPECIAL SECRET BLEND THAT YOU GO INTO WITHDRAWLS OVER! Your whole life is a lie! Do you have nothing to say?!

A can of Hills Brothers coffee is currently $8.48 at Walmart. Eventually he upgrades to Folgers. Luke: "Fresh" (lol) coffee will be ready in a minute unless you want to roll up a dollar bill and go nuts. Cocaine joke! Whee! Luke:This whole town should be medicated and put in a rec room with ping pong tables and hand puppets. Lorelai tells Luke that Max proposed and he responds with his maximum level of Luke Enthusiasm: "Eh, I figured."

Tomatos Sign: spotted. Luke absolutely fries Lorelai's brain by getting her to admit she's about to accept this bozo MaxMedina's proposal without them having discussed very important pre-marriage things...like where they're going to live. Honestly, Lorelai. Luke seems like the sensible one now, but in A Year In The Life, it seems as if Luke & Lorelai are discussing having children together for the first time after they've known each other for over 20 years. But we don't count A Year In The Life. It never happened. Never heard of it. Lorelai retruns to her seat and asks Rory what happened. Kirk has passed out. Everyone outside is just staring at Kirk laying on the the ground and no one is helping him or calling for help.

This shot puzzles me, because (unless someone wants to fill me in on something I missed?) I don't understand the context of this ring and why we're seeing an extended closeup of it and her fidgeting with it until she took it off. Nothing was mentioned about Max buying her a ring yet (besides a Ring Pop), but with the level of discomfort she's exhibiting by looking at her hand and then pulling it off her finger, I will assume it came from him? Is it just her own personal ring but she's imagining there's an engagement ring on her hand instead? Maybe that's it. Okay. Look. I fucking loved butterflies growing up. For a good 10 year span, I needed everything I owned to have butterflies on them. I dreamed one of one day having a butterfly themed wedding and yes even a butterfly ring. But that ring looks like it came out of a gumball machine at Walmart (next to the aisle with the Hills Brothers coffee). Probably the same gumball machine where Dean found Rory's "medallion". Surely he can afford something a little better on his fat Private School English Teacher paycheck.

You can afford all those books, now go to a real jewelry store. After Luke fries her brain, Lorelai ends up calling MaxMedina in a panic in the middle of a Friday Night Dinner to ask him these reasonable and important pre-marriage questions. His response only serves to manipulate/ confuse her further by saying "You'd only be asking me these things if you were going to say yes to my proposal." And by her giddy reaction mere moments later, we know she apparenly accepted...a proposal over the phone. And by the brief period of time between the conversation taking place and her freaking out, we are to assume the questions she called him to ask were either never answered or discussed for about 1 minute. Good luck you two. Later, Max calls the GillyGirls household and Rory picks up while Lorelai is standing next to her. Max confides in Rory that he's ring shopping and he asks for her advice on Lorelai's tastes in jewelry. He's shopping for a real ring. Oh thank god.

Look Rory, you know Max has a history of taking suggestions way too literally, as the Yellow Daisy Lung epidemic sweeps through Stars Hollow. You need to make it clear that you're kidding. This is 2001, so instead of texting pictures of the rings, he has to literally describe them. "The first one has a gold band and sort of a square diamond." How quaint. Email with pictures did exist in 2001, Max, but I suppose he realizes that The Hollow is severely behind the times technology wise and that an email would take at least another 5 years to reach them.

SHUDDER. He's back and with an even stupider haircut. Are we recovered from that last horrible kiss? Because whatever time off Jared Padalecki had between filming the last episode of the 1st season and the 1st episode of the second, he did not spend practicing kissing on his pillow/ blowup doll. Get that eye bleach out again, if you have any left. Of course Dean asks "where's your Mom?" The real love of his life.

You got this JarPad...you can do it...just kiss her without making a face like you're licking a block of salt...

Swingandamiss. Dean Garbageface: I missed that. Rory: Yeah me too. I doubt it.

I honestly don't know how so many people who watch this show are oblivious to the DALA (Dean and Lorelai affair) Dean: Long pause to process his girlfriend's mother coming onto him. "Uh. You need me to change your water bottle don't you?" She needs you to "change her water bottle" just like Luke was "fixing her porch rail." Rory steps outside to find Dean cranking on Lorelai's water bottle. He's probably dreaming of that special time in every teenage boy's life when their girlfriend's mother gives them a handjob. Lord knows Rory never gave him one while they were dating (also the reason Jess was constantly cranky).

Rory asks Dean to come to Friday Night dinner, and Dean hesitates. What's the ultimatium going to be this time? Say whaaaat? He agrees to go (after Rory assures him her grandmother is no longer mad at him for falling asleep with her at the dance)? No complaints? No ultimatium? No pouting? I'm stunned. Lorelai calls Dean back into the house to help her reach a can on a high shelf presumably so she can look at his butt while he's doing it.

Look at this doof in his doofy necklace. Dean: I'm just gonna sit here and stare at my hands. Good boy. Glad you know your place. If anyone needs me, I'm going to be over here delighting in how much Richard dislikes Dean. Flat out ignores the doofus when he tries to shake his hand LOL

I thought you were just going to sit there and silently stare at your hands. Sit back down. Lorelai: I can't believe you found a recipe for Beef-A-Roni. Emily: Let's just say it's not beef. Ah, humans. The Gilmores are serving human meat. Probably one of their former maids. Got it.

Me glaring at Dean every time he moves or talks or blinks or breathes or exists. Lorelai: Uh, I bet there's a fabulous dessert waiting in the kitchen. Emily: Yes, Twinkies. I know how much Rory loves Twinkies. Twinkies filled with...human meat? Richard: So, Dean, where are you going to college? Dean: It's called Sleep with Your Daughter University. If ya'll hate me right now I understand. I do. Emlly: Please, Richard, don't grill the boy. If only someone would literally put him on a grill. Sigh....I am pulling one of my infrequent Dean Cards here. Dean was....not bad in this episode. Sure, his mere existence makes my blood curdle, but he didn't DO anything. He didn't complain or give Rory an ultimatium to attend the dinner, he went willingly, was visibly uncomfortable but tried his best and got rewarded with Rory's grandfather death-staring and grilling him the entire night for no reason whatsoever, and when it was over he didn't even transfer his frustration onto poor Rory like he usually does and make her feel like it was her fault.

She's making it sound like he's Prince Charming making an appearance at the ball (ooof, I almost forgot about the fucking Debutante Ball that's on the horizon) when in reality he is a 17 year old dork in a puka-shell necklace who gets C's in math and whose only marketable skills are bagging groceries and making necklaces out of old quarters. The DALA affair chugs along. Lorelai assures Rory that the only reason she thinks Richard was hostile to Dean is because RIchard thinks Dean will get her pregnant and she'll drop out of school like Lorelai. And somehow he managed to be half right on both accounts. Rory:"I'm not going to get pregnant." Lorelai (When It's Dean): I know that. (how exactly does she know that though?) Lorelai: (When it's Jess): He's not allowed to drive up to the house while I'm not here because he'll get you pregnant if he so much as steps into the living room (this was the actual basis of the episode "Swan Song") Sookie calls Emily to tell her she's planning Lorelai's weddng and of course Emily had no idea. Emily demands Richard apologize to Rory because Lorelai just excluded them from her wedding, and in the future Emily doesn't want Rory to hate them and exclude them from her wedding (a wedding which of course she never has, at least not while Richard was still alive). In a very rare display, mysterious salty drops (tears) almost begin to form at the corner of Emily's eyes. Lorelai and Max are sitting on the porch talking and he pulls a ring out of frigging nowhere. It's not in a box or anything. it's not even in his pocket. He just opens his hand, and it's there. It's too big for Lorelai's finger because the gumball machine just spit out the little plastic egg and he had to take whatever he got for his quarter (just kidding, he actually just wasted a buttload of money on a real ring when Lorelai is going to get cold feet in a few weeks and call off the entire engagement) but anyway he wants to take it off to get it resized. "Just let me get it sized and you'll never have to take it off again." Maxmillian, you sweet naive summer child.

Let's end this mild trainwreck of an episode on a funny note.

[mzannthropy]

I never even thought of the point about Prim and Katniss's mother being left alone if she dies in her second games.>> Me too. I only realized it more recently when I rewatched the first and then the second film. I had only seen the first one once, so I decided to see what her situation was like, and she loved her sister and didn't get along with her mother. I also read that if Katiniss died, her family would have to leave the victors' village, and they would have to return the money. So which makes the whole saving Peeta thing pointless and a forced, cheap romance. At the beginning of Catching Fire, she doesn't give Peeta shit, so when the games are announced, her first thought is to save him and not her sister? And is she the one who inspires the rebellion? She doesn't do anything in the second film that shows she's a hero like she did in the first. All she does is treat Finnick badly even after he saved Peeta; not caring about Mags; and she still planned to run away with Peeta, while the others killed themselves. Detail, from the moment she asks Haymitch to save Peeta, it shows that not even she believed in his potential, which makes him weaker than he is. She can't even save him. If it wasn't for Finnick, he would have died at the beginning of the arena.

Nine years of pent up thoughts, feelings and frustrations about this series--and yet I suddenly struggle with what to say!

If any fans should stumble upon this post--please ignore, thanks.

Let me address your last point first: Finnick saves Peeta's life in the arena. Only for him to die himself. Peeta got to live and have kids with Katniss (that she never wanted), two whole people that would not exist had it not been for Finnick. I hope those brats at least learned his name. (In the book, nothing about any of the other characters is acknowledged, what the film did at the end, with Katniss looking at Annie's photo of her with her son, that doesn't happen in the book--clearly even the screenwriters realised some sort of conclusion was needed!). Look, I don't give a fuck about the k/p pairing, let them live their little life in their little meadow or wherever the fuck they are, I just hate how unfairly the series treats everyone else and how many people lost their lives bc of these two.

K/P are presented simultaneously as star-crossed lovers and fake dating to lovers, so both popular tropes and I wonder if that's why they are such a beloved pairing. Personally, I don't buy either. Like I said in your previous ask, the way they both get to win their first games is way too contrived for me. (Are you telling me that, in the previous 73 games, no other district tried to pull a similar "we are in love" stunt? The very fact that a boy and a girl are reaped from each district, pretty much begs for such a stunt, especially as they're teenagers. Or how about pretending to fall in love with someone from a different district, in the arena? That would make for a juicy viewing!)

Then, I don't understand why Katniss became the Mockingjay, other than that she was the main character and the author wanted it so. She doesn't care about the revolution. She's not some Alexei Navalny figure, gods rest his soul. She's a wind up toy that goes "Peeta Peeta Peeta waah waah waah". Am I supposed to be convinced that someone as powerful as President Snow is threatened by one teenage girl??? He could have her killed and make it look an accident or suicide without a blink of an eye. He could have Prim killed and make it look an accident without a blink of an eye. Jesus.

I don't think any particular character should have been the Mockingjay, btw. I think all of them should have been it. At least those that were at the forefront of the revolution. Go full I Am Spartacus, except literally, after all, this is clearly influenced by the gladiator games.

I wonder if fans of this series are all also k/p shippers, bc there isn't in reality anything else. But bc it deals with Serious Issues, it allows people to make deep posts on tumblr about how oppressive governments are wrong and war is bad. And still they get to have their OTP to write fluffy fanfics about.

I was looking through one-star reviews of Mockingjay on Goodreads again and found a recent one, which articulates the problems really well. Also there is a post I reblogged a while ago. I think the "terminal incuriosity of Katniss's POV" hits the nail on the head for me. Curiosity is a trait value highly, so her narration would never work for me.

I know Katniss has trauma. But the thing is, every-fucking-body in Panem has trauma, bc you can't live under an oppressive regime and not have trauma.

Mockingjay is the most disappointing book I've ever read.