#god im making myself insane about my own thoughts lol

[rosefires20]

My brainrot today is thinking about just how incredible for a character Eowyn is.

Genuinely. The series might not have many female characters but the ones we do get go so fucking hard.

To me, Eowyn is literally the definition of defining being a woman for oneself. She rejects the roles she is given despite acknlowdging the importance and its mostly because she knows part of the reason is that she is a woman.

The reason why she is obsessed with Aragorn isn't because she loves him but because she wants what he has. She wants the freedom and courage and bravery that Aragorn has at every turn. She literally has multiple conversations during the Two Towers about how what she fears most is a cage. All this girl wants is the freedom to be and not be forced into a role. The best thing is that she literally gets that.

The segment of Return of the King about Eowyn and Faramir is literally about her piecing together what she truly wants. She doesn't want Aragorn. She wants freedom and the ability to choose. Faramir does nothing but encourage that in her. Their love story is literally one of the healthiest love stories I've seen in a long time because at the heart of it, their love is a place to return home to for both parties. Both go off to lead and help their people for a considerable amount of time before returning to each other but that does not diminish their bond. Even Faramir, I believe, falls in love with her bravery and dedication to her loved ones. The reason she went to Pelenor Fields and Gondor with the troops of Rohan was because she had things she wanted to fight for. She wanted to fight for herself, her people, and her loved ones. She is the one who protects Theoden after he is killed so that his body gets the treatment it deserves. She encourages Merry and helps him go to the battle because she sees her struggle in Merry. They feel helpless standing around when there are things to be doing.

Let's also not forget the fact that she was around Grima Wormtounge just as much as the King was. She was exposed to the same poison and awful words that eroded the king. It's even implied that her care for him is part of the reason why Theoden was savable when Gandalf showed up. She had the same power and bravery as everyone else even if she didn't see it in herself.

Then at the end of the day, SHE decides where she wants to go and what path she wants to walk. She walked the path of a warrior. The path of a princess/ruler. The path of a caretaker. But in the end she decides which elements truly mean something to her outside of gender definitions. That is what makes her character so incredible to me. In this she literally kills one of the biggest enemies in that battle with such a badass line.

[ceilidho]

Hi crazy Johnny with a single mam anon back because im insane and have brainrot and am seriously contemplating writing it bcus i feel compelled by the power of Christ (Johnny’s cock) to write something pervy and nasty and creepy but ultimately sweet but im also just braindumping and sharing bcus not enough johnny content floating around I fear so have to pull up my bootstraps and do it myself (this is so long ceil im so very sorry)

anyways so I think this is sooo much hotter if Johnny is either on a prolonged medical discharge or he’s been forced into retirement for one reason or another (because then can keep an eye on you lol) he and like this has been touched on before but he’s just got. nothing to fucking do. And holy hell he’s going crazy. He needs something to do. So his silly, terribly adjusted brain latches onto the poor single mam next door who DEFINITELY needs his help.

Im a sucker for forced codependency. You, who thinks you’re doing great on your own, versus ‘can’t handle this all on yer own, eh little lass?’ Johnny MacTavish. He’s SO fucking subtle about it. Commenting on how hard it must be to have to raise a baby all your own, and gods love you just look knackered here let me take the bairn for a bit. He comes round and makes little comments about your house being messy (disorganised, but not messy) and immediately starts ‘sympathising’ because you just mustn’t have time to clean up but it’s important to keep hazards out the way of the baby, here he’ll *help*.

Never questions your ability as a mother, god no, just slyly drops suggestions that you’re not coping as well as you thought. And it fucking NAGS at you. And eventually, you start going to Johnny more and more for help. I honestly think he would cause problems in your flat (fixable ones, like fucking up the electrics or messing around with the pipes but stuff he knows he can fix) so you either have to A. Move in with him temporarily or B. Have to ask him to fix them. Eventually just says that your landlords a cunt for letting you live in a shithole and insists you just move in with him permanently. You do (it’s not really up for debate).

He doesn’t use condoms. I’m sorry he just doesn’t, but he will TELL you that he does- especially the first time you have sex. You’re all worried because ‘oh god Johnny I’m not on birth control I just put it off after I had the baby and we didn’t use a condom-‘ and he’s immediately tucking you into his chest and stroking your hair and shushing you ‘divvint be daft lass, course i wrapped it up, stupid thing just broke. Did ye not realise? Must’ve been heat o’ the moment, don’t worry yer little heed about it alright? Johnny’s here.” and kisses you on your hair and lulls you into sleep. Adamantly denies whispering about how pretty you’re gonna look pregnant as if he’s trying to subliminal you into pregnancy. lol.

Will legally adopt your baby. Like he’ll suggest it, straight up. And you’re probably a bit taken aback because it’s only been six months but he is insistent. This is probably the catalyst for his ‘im the biological dad’ delusions. Once he’s down as the father he’s actually losing his mind a little. Can imagine Simon or Gaz popping round to check up on Johnny on their next leave and suddenly he has a family and they’re actually a little concerned because when Gaz makes a comment about the baby’s being cute Johnny’s like ‘Yeah we did a good job, didn’we lass?” and between the two of them there’s just silence because johnny this is not your baby but they can see that slightly deranged look in his eyes. Defo asks about all the heavy details of your pregnancy and labour and the first few months so he can pretend like he was actually there for it and will talk about it as if he were actually there (extra bonus points if Gaz actually pulls you aside in the kitchen and asks about Johnny’s behaviour and tells you to be careful LMAO).

So yeah anyways.

PLEASE WRITE THIS IM BEGGING YOU!!!!!! im screaming at that last bit i need this so bad please......i don't ask for much but i swear to god please write this for me. this idea was designed in a lab to inflict the maximum amount of psychic damage on me. please write this and i will happily beta/edit it for you if you need any help omg

[leafybfdia]

ii2 ep 16 act 1 spoilers

um so this act has utterly decimated me. i had work to do yesterday and i found myself completely unable to do any of it. i woke up this morning and my first thought was about this episode. i went out today and all i could think about was this episode. i came home and ate and had to take a nap because my head hurt from thinking about this episode. i slept for 3 hours and dreamt of ii. ive done nothing today except think about ii2 ep 16 act 1. i didnt even act like this when firey revived leafy and i literally go insane over any leafy crumbs. point is i think i need to talk about it to release me. this is just gonna be my speculation for some things. ok? ok

the contestants

ive seen people debating about whether cobs is lying about mephone making the contestants but i think hes genuinely telling the truth considering the fact that 1. they glitch at the end and 2. the foreshadowing and 3. brian and co have been laughing it up over at animationepic hq or wherever LOL. but one thing i do think is worth discussing is whether or not mephone was even like consciously aware of what he was doing. i thought it was heavily heavily implied that he didnt realize (considering that when cobs asks “why did you do it?” hes like huh whuh) but then brian tweeted this

but then again he could be fucking with us. like you never know. and also i mean the question WAS pretty vague.

PERSONALLY im team subconscious. i think the writers are trying to hurt us and subconscious would hurt more.

another thing to mention is that the settings of inanimate insanity are very likely made up considering that the s2 location has literally prime shimmer planet eggs or whatever as hills in the background, and the island in iii is called “inanimate island” iirc. the same alliteration cobs mentions. and of course it could just be some pre-existing island that he renamed himself for the show but at this point i feel like anything is possible

whos real and who isnt

so that leads to this. who the hell is made up then??

i genuinely wanted to argue that bow could be real considering the fact that she came into the show on her own against mephones own wishes and also cant be revived but if team subconscious is right then it would have been possible for mephone to just have made her up too so like… i dont know. I dont know… it’s scary….

oh and that leads to another thing i kept seeing

the “bow is a prime shimmer” theory or whatever that i keep seeing

… guys im going to be honest i think we’ve reached the point of delirium. on one hand i vaguely understand where these ppl are coming from since bow made a prime shimmer sound and the egg that 3gs gave to cobs was pink (and i saw someone say it had a bow symbol on it but i just couldnt see it????) but i otherwise… dont see it? she doesnt look like a prime shimmer guys. sorry. anyways

mephone x

good goddamn lord. so get a load of this guy.

one thing i havent really seen people talk about is how only the specific targets can see mephone x and no one else. of course this is like WTF! before it’s revealed that everyones “not real” but like. i mean it’s assumed that cobs is the one controlling this thing. idk if this thing has agency and is just following cobs orders or if its just a vessel for cobs to control or what but it really begs the question as to like. how can he make mephone x be invisible to everyone else? are the contestants “made up” in the sense that theyre just code, and hes entering the mainframe or whatever? like. im assuming thats what it is but like Oh My God? and what the fuck is going on with his targets?

everyone keeps saying that like ohhh hes targetting those who were in the middle of talking with others but i dont think thats necessarily the case. i think thats just for the drama. even though it’s been said that it’s up for interpretation if guava and soap were killed too i at the very least think guava is dead dead since his disappearance was mentioned before even pickle died. starfruit says that guava just “ditched” so he wasnt talking to anyone. i genuinely think anyones fucked. speaking of which:

is the death thing permanent

honestly? im scared to answer this. on one hand im like well no these characters have important arcs they need to fulfill but on the other hand i feel like we genuinely may be hit with the madoka magica treatment here where death is sudden, unexpected, permanent, and terrifying.

my biggest fear is the ending being like everyone coming to terms with the fact that theyre not real and just fading away like they got thanos snapped or something. but i think soap and mics interaction is foreshadowing. soap deletes a picture of them together and opens the recently deleted pictures album and goes “oops, missed a spot!”. i think toilet, oj, pickle, nickel, and potentially soap and guava are in some kind of digital trash can right now and can still be saved. chat i have to believe

box

so. rememebr box you guys.

… i dont think hes “the first victim” or whatever. although it is an interesting theory

people seem to be able to communicate with box? which makes sense since theyre all made up and if box is made up too then well theyre like all the same guys. but like… his whole not reacting thing is mentioned too so. i mean. huh?

i dont remember if bot ever interacted with box before he got injured too. and im too tired to rewatch the first parts of season 3. but them interacting with box would have implications since they were like the only confirmed contestant so far that mephone hasnt made himself

toilet

oh yeah hes fucked. he has been fucked for YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!! we just finally got confirmation that like yep no that man is DIED. although it confirms that toilet too isnt real which makes my whole “is bow real” thing kind of a stretch since he didnt like bow or toilet and yet they were still there

of course his carcass wasnt shown so it’s like ohh maybe he just got kidnapped or whatever.

and also adam was being controlled by cobs, and adam DID hire toilet… IS toilet real? if he isnt then did another mephone make toilet for cobs so he could send him out?? im in so much pain

honorable mentions and misc

- test tube and fan making bot is made slightly better because they didnt realize both bow and marshmallow were still. “alive”. bows not really alive though but you know what i mean. STILL DOESNT EXCUSE IT THOUGH

- do you think mephone made santa because of his childish whimsy and joy. like he wanted santa to be real so bad. Guys im sorry im not rewatching that episode i dont remember what even happens

- the season 3 contestants being at the hotel is… it’s not IMPOSSIBLE i guess since oj knows them. still frightening. they like literally spawned in it was the scariest shit ever. i remember when i was at the meetup i noticed that candles asset used in the theater etiquette video was season 2ified and i was like LOL thats a little unnecessary. like the face and limbs sure but the asset itself? Anyways yeah no that was completely necessary.

- according to brian the plot twist was planned since 2015 at the latest, so around the episode “theft and battery” when cobs is first shown. do with that what you will.

- ballpoint pens resemblance to cobs was not a funny coincidence.

- i genuinely got scared that mephone was confirmed to be a babys or something but as im rewatching it like 20 times yeah no i think cobs is just infantilizing him. Can i be honest mephone has always had old man voice to me

- do you think mephone made springy so he could feel like he had a normal childhood. sniffle

- bot, the one contestant he didnt make, was his favorite. Do with that what you will.

- no i dont think suitcases psychosis was her just “seeing reality as how it is”. i feel so bad for suitcase especially btw. im team suitcase i always have been they could never make me hate her.

- walkie talkie. FUCK

my predictions

- lightbulbs a goner im so sorry. lightbulb was literally trending on twitter earlier idk if it still is but shes FUCKED. she has the X on her face in the thumbnail and shes a fan favorite. someones gonna argue with her like ohh you cant make this positive lightbulb and then shes gonna be like Chat whats that sound… (she would say 100% say chat. to me)

- the rest of the season 3 contestants HAVE to be shown. theyre involved in this too man. clover fluttering away on her butterflies to whereever she went after she got eliminated and im like THIS INVOLVES YOU TOO. GET BACK HERE

- mephone will deny that he made everyone up but as he begins to doubt himself everyone will start glitching out

- i think bot will be called in here. cobs cant do shit to them mephone x wise

- no one wins here. even if they do get physical with cobs and suitcase idk beats him to death with hammers. idk if theyd show deatj and dying on screen but it’s like. ok but then what. youre still made up by mephone. take those million dollars if mephone even has the fucking money. what then. literally what then

- i wanted to say maybe mephones realization of his creation skills lets him create something or someone powerful enough to defeat cobs but like. you know. mephone x. then again though like you never know. thats the one thing here. if you know something no you dont

- 40 min fantube makeout scene thats unskippable because the entire time cheesy is in the background with a blank expression stating important plot related facts with no hint of emotion whatsoever

tldr

[risingscorchingsuns]

OHHH MY GOD YOU CANT MAKE ME WAIT A FUCKING WEEK FOR THIS. YOU CANT MAKE ME WAIT A WEEK FOR THE MUZAN KAGAYA CONFRONTATION YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME. FUCKING HELL OH MY GODDDD

hiiiii im feeling so normal right now!!!!!!!!!!!! *barely contained frenzy of biting and screaming*

anyway thoughts on this weeks ep!!! <3

- tanjiro. please. please i love you baby but i will never understand why you decided it was a good idea to go “🥺 are you fighting about ohagi? ill make lots!!” tanjiro honey they are TRAINING

-/pos btw. I love him he’s iconic for this

-shoutout to giyuu for immediately finding out about Sanemi’s favorite food and being like “:) if I bring some to him we’ll be best friends :)” giyuu sweetheart i love you. ive been waiting so long to see this scene animated god I love them. im not even much of a sanegiyuu shipper i just think this whole scene is iconic

- the ECHOES of muzan’s FOOTSTEPS right after Sanemi realizes they’ve been infiltrated????? holy fuck it is CHILLING. ohhhhhh mygoooodddd. oh my god im going INSANE

- holy shit, I feel like it’s massively under-discussed how dark Gyomei’s backstory is. Like… the whole scene really pounds it in how brutal his experiences were. His disgust at having to fight, much beyond what a normal human would tolerate. He likely had to keep caving the demon’s head in over and over because it kept regenerating. Holy shit. The color choice of everything being monochrome except for the blood is particularly chilling. I love when media uses that palette and KNY does it so good

- AUGHHHH his smile when he pats tanjiro 🥺🥺🥺 he thinks about Sayo…. GOD I love the Hashira

- I’d love to read more character analysis on Gyomei. I feel like we didn’t get as much context for his character as we deserved- why he continued to fight, despite how disgusted he is by his own strength, why he trained Genya despite his general distrust, especially towards children? Ultimately, I believe it comes down to Gyomei being a genuinely gentle human, and I’d love to read more analysis on how he maintains that. Maybe his own repetitive action helps him. I wrote a big paragraph about questions about his character, but wound up deleting it because I found myself answering them as I wrote. Regardless, if Gyomei is anybody’s blorbo to the extent that Kyojuro is mine I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts on him- I think he’s a massively underrated character and I’d love to understand him deeper!

-OUGHHH THE MUSIC!!!!!!! god I am LOVING the theme they did with the sanegiyuu fight that shit went CRAZYYYY. and the ANIMATION. look im biased because i love the way water breathing looks but godddd its so pretty. also drop ripple thrust mentioned!!!! we haven’t seen that form since Susamaru!!!

-is the next episode gonna be the last in this season?????????? where are they cutting this off?????? god i wish i could reread the manga but i lent the set to a friend so he could read it pain agony MY CROSS REFERENCES

- [MANGA SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT]

-I’m presuming Zenitsu’s letter was about his Master’s suicide, and Kaigaku’s transformation. I think it was really clever of ufotable to put this scene in Gyomei’s episode, and put spotlights on Kaigaku being the kid that first betrayed Gyomei- I think that fact was only actually mentioned in a Taisho Era Secret. That’s gonna blow a lot of minds in the finale arc lol

-I wish we got more development on Zenitsu in this arc. His processing of the letter, his departure from Tanjiro and the others. I think Zenitsu is also a really misunderstood character, and this arc doesn’t exactly do him many favors in that regard. I wish we’d gotten a bit of filler vis-a-vis his development, but I’m hoping we still get that in his fight with Kaigaku.

[beesmygod]

old hunters DLC also highlights some themes of colonial violence and exploitation too, imo. what’s been done to the fishing village and kos ties the beast thing up with this idea that like, the impulse to Conquer and Dominate another leads directly to the Curse. It’s not enough to understand the old ones and the blood and all that, they needed to control it, to take it for themselves, and exploit it however they can. And now there’s wolfmans everywhere.

And this is in the core gameplay loop itself, we extract all the vials and blood echos and blood gems that we can in order to become strong enough to conquer more and more powerful prey. When we’re hit, we hit back harder and take back the life that was taken for us. Sure it’s ostensibly to Break the Curse and seek Paleblood and all that, but we know why we’re really doing it. Because it’s sick as hell, and feels awesome to best these monsters. The old hunters knew that too, and it turns them into giant horse creatures unable to do anything besides violence. That thirst for violence and power makes hunters turn into beasts, now only functioning as a cog in a perpetual violence machine. They lose their humanity not through repeated death like in Dark Souls, but through taking life. It turns the characters into monsters, and the players into wiki editors and lore theorists (aka monsters) bc we also can’t let go of the feeling Bloodborne gives us.

Tl;dr: Bloodborne is like if Spec Ops had any subtlety or desire to leave itself up to interpretation (probably helped by the fact that very little of what I’m talking about is likely intentional and I’m just insane)

OKAY im back from my appointment and finished my little treat. anon ("anon" @chicknparm who should get credit for these good thoughts) i could not agree more. i mentioned this in a previous post but finding a strand of commentary about the evils of colonialism made me worried i was becoming dangerously online, but it's a relief to see someone else mention this idea. i think you are absolutely right that one of the overt messages in bloodborne is that spilling blood for your own benefit leads to ruin. its actually kind of shocking how, in spite of the combat being the draw to these games, the message of most fromsoft games is a message of anti-violence. like, how many times do we end up fighting something that, in hindsight, needed to be put out of its misery. oh. shit. thinking about it, our player character is explicitly an outsider. the role of hunter of hunter is filled by outsiders...

also lol you are so right about the wiki based insanity but i think that's the consequences of insight poisoning. literally every once in a while while trying to edit this stupid bloodborne doc i think to myself "oooeergg too many eyes" and take a break for a few days

anyway, turning this back around to the colonialism theme, hear us out ok: watching/reading the sekiro lore videos/posts by shetani of shetani's lair helped introduce a lot of esoteric buddhist and shinto concepts that were totally novel and unknown to be as a baka gaijin. now these ideas are impossible not to see in all of from's other works.

i did a few days of research on "shinshi" (mostly a lot of stuff that turned out to not be relevant, but interesting) after becoming aware of them and found they shared a lot of qualities with the augurs (or "phantasms", invertebrates that act as intermediaries to the great ones) of bloodborne. realizing this, i thought about the great ones not in the context of a christian god, as the MODERN yharnam does, but as kami. kami are numerous, everywhere, hidden, and are thought of as actively controlling or influencing the terrestrial world. the re-translation reveals that the "great pthumeru chalice" had some nuance lost in translation: "祀る - Means to enshrine or worship, but has connotations of doing it to appease spirits so they may reach nirvana or Buddhahood and avoid becoming evil"; this is simply translated to "deify" which is technically correct but the original feels like it's much more pointed about finally revealing to the player that the "gods" as we've been lead to believe them to be are not what they seem.

the healing church, a product of georgian to victorian era western beliefs, razed pthumeru, loran, isz, and the fishing village (and probably yahar'gul too) in the quest to become like their newly discovered gods. the framework by which they related to pthumerian culture was completely wrong and misunderstood the nature of "gods" as all knowing or all powerful and, thus, something aspirational. the reality was more that they are just another type of creature in the world with different limitations than a human. and they're still mortal.

[forlix]

talking ab fallen star cos that fic consumed me when i first read it and consumed me again when i reread it earlier 🤚

firstly the way he kept his promise to bring mc to the airport it really broke me. it's so melancholic like there have been broken promises before but hyunjin wouldn't dare end their relationship on another one? you can still feel the love he has for t hemin the way he tiredly made his way to drive to their house and to the airport after he came back from his own long flight it honestly makes me insane.

i love how in the car there's this like faint and twisted idea of hope lingering between them. some part of them still longs for the other and it's right there they could just grab the very thing they yearn for but it's incomplete. it's not the same. honestly when mc mutters "idiot" it really made me think like are they calling hyunjin an idiot? or themselves an idiot? and ac i feel like they meant both of them are idiots for allowing themselves to end up in this awkward but necessary situation.

there are some unresolved feelings and unanswered questions while they sit in silence on the way to the airport, but the airport scene™️ gives them both the closure they need. they're not getting back together, no matter how much one might like, but the tension in the car shows a sliver of hope that they would and i feel like it really emanates in your writing and makes me as a reader reader hope for a happier ending as well. also the shaky "fuck" describes my feelings as i read this as well thanks btw 🥲

and this is all from my own mind but i imagine reader saw a photo or maybe got an invitation to hyun's wedding and they realize he's okay and it makes them reflect on themselves and with a heavy heart they realize theyre okay too. the worst part is there's no definitive point where they felt or "became" okay, because like you said, time is the best medicine and gradually mc just healed. but knowing that hyun is okay and has moved on kind of popped a bubble of reserved feelings and its not necessarily sad its just kind of disheartening or numbing?

idk how i started yapping sm lol i read wayyyy into this HAHAHA. i chose to analyze this instead of study for my finals ☝️🤓 but in conclusion, xian i love falling star and its yet another product of ur mindblowing sexy brain i love you so much bby and i js wanna say im so proud of you <3

when i tell u i saw this while studying (also for my finals) and it had my jaw on the floor my head in the clouds i couldn't focus for the LIFE of me afterwards. WDYM YOU WROTE ME AN ESSAY OF UR THOUGHTS ON MY WRITING? IS IT MY BIRTHDAY?? i love you so fucking much omg. thank u for sending this in my lovely star :') putting my VERY ramble-y response under the cut

"there have been broken promises before but hyunjin wouldn't dare end their relationship on another one" is soooo poignantly put and so so so correct. honestly him remembering the day and time of the flight was supposed to be a show of pettiness at first, like "you called me unreliable so here i am bitch" lmfaooo but let's be real you're right on the money with his real intentions. he was literally counting down the days until he had an excuse to see mc again.. he was also worried about the flight being so early and wanted to ensure their safety... AGGHHH not me hurting myself thinking ab this couple 😭

"when mc mutters "idiot" it really made me think like are they calling hyunjin an idiot? or themselves an idiot?" I LOVEEEE LOVE LOVE THIS? god u are a genius i adore you. i totally see this being the case. if i may add, maybe mc thinks they're an idiot because they reciprocate hyunjin's yearning even after everything that's transpired. like inward frustration that there are still feelings there? yeah. ur a genius.

about the slivers of hope after the car scene, i apologize for the lack of a happy ending love </3 the fic was definitely challenging (and saddening) but also refreshing to write. i really wanted to explore a couple that is well and truly doomed bc some of the relationships in our lives are doomed, yaknow? and you can recognize that and still have a lot of love for the person at the same time bc human beings are fucking complicated like that. but please consider this my official justification for posting something so depressing

"and this is all from my own mind but i imagine reader saw a photo or maybe got an invitation to hyun's wedding and they realize he's okay and it makes them reflect on themselves and with a heavy heart they realize theyre okay too." FUCKKKK NOT THE WEDDING PICTURE. this just made me frown irl. if i may add.....again..... what if they physically run into each other and that's how mc knows? at the start of the convo mc kinda feels the familiar stirrings again but it's more out of habit than anything. they talk for a bit and it's really pleasant and mc notices he has a ring on his finger and they realize they feel ✨ nothing ✨ about it anymore. but there's just an inkling of remorse remaining about the whole situation. like a passing thought of "maybe in a different universe we would've made things work"....haha.....fuck. BUT mc is happy hyunjin's happy, and mc is happy to have recovered, and life goes on

as for ur entire last paragraph i might actually cry, i'm so glad you love the fic and i truly do appreciate u taking the time to look into my fic this closely so so so much :'( you keep me going, I MEAN IT

[aihoshiino]

okay so no idea how i should refer to myself as so: hi!! im the person who had way too much fun writing ai/nino toxic yuri on ao3! i was gonna just lurk (me, tumblr account with privated likes, reblogs and follows) BUT how could i with the promise of people being normal about fictional unhealthy gay women. idk if this is the optimal way to communicate i use tumblr with the sole purpose of following 4 people and digging up ai content

i am honestly so flattered (but also kinda upset at the lack of content on them aside from my own 1k word long oneshot please keep recommending if you find more stuff on them) that you enjoyed and recommended my fics considering i just straight up had no clue where i was going: okay so top priority i want them to kiss —> but also with how things are nino would probably lash out (read: bite) —> ai would be hesitant but also is so desperate that she’d still accept it happily —> this will fuel ninos idea of ai being the perfect, invincible idol —> and then i ran and tried not to trip with the rest

your translations of the side stories and blog was probably what helped me get in to oshi no ko again because even though i am still not over ai being dead i can now listen to someone talk about how great and tragic and sad and miserable she was along with all the other characters so thank you again!

also that ask for ai/nino toxic yuri visions was me lol, thanks for talking about my fic despite how short it was <3, i might de-anon myself at some point but rn im too shy for that

woof, this got a bit long. anyways love wins fr, if there was ever a day where i participate in an onk shipping war it’ll be on the side of them

LMFAO OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY TO HAVE JUMPSCARED YOU WITH YOUR OWN FIC 😭 WHAT A THING TO SEE ON YOUR OWN DASH....

that said it does make me so happy every time I hear people saying my relentless oshi no posting stands out to them to the degree that it does lol. I guess I'm in a similar place as you where, as happy as I am for it, it does make me a little sad that it feels like there's such little fan interest in lengthy meta and discussion on Ai herself outside of some really banal, surface level stuff. To a degree, I get that with other characters having so much more time on the page and having ongoing arcs to speculate about, but Ai is sooooooooo fascinating to me and it really drives me insane how often I see people make zero effort to engage with her arc beyond her utilitarian function in the story. It also really bums me out how often I see her get reduced to just a stepping stone in the arcs of other characters — even though the manga is literally shaking you right now and begging you to understand and empathize with her more than ever, I straight up see people cheering and crowing about Ruby 'surpassing' her or 'becoming the true Ai' as if this is a good thing and they are not completely fucking missing the point lmao.

ANYWAY!!!! That's enough grumping because the actual point of this response was to say: the Ai posting will continue until I am physically forced to stop!!!! I have so many thoughts about my wife constantly and if I do not share them I will explode!!!

(ps anon pspspspsp if you are ever feeling brave enough to unanon pls feel free to just send me your discord or your socmeds off tumblr if that is less intimidating for u.... honestly that goes for all my oshi no moots in general Please Talk With Me In DMs About My Wife)

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Ok cue my memory loss moment part 5 I can’t tell if I sent this reply in or not before so if this is a dupe I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE hsvshshs but anyways

OMG EVERYONE CHEER!!! Guys the moment is finally upon us…another mira banger about to drop….

LMAOO fwtkac was the gateway…once you start you can’t stop its just how the Karasu rabbit hole works! Bro hollyhock is actually so good…I can’t even put it into words properly but just the whole setting giving a new depth to a diff side of otoyas characters ugh so good

True!!! I’m ngl I’m a little surprised that for marketing sake they didn’t try to throw in some like popular character bait…maybe it’s because most of the actually popular bllkers are already out and as opposed to merch I guess book sales would be a bit diff? Like fans would buy to read even if their absolute faves aren’t in but yeah…the stories were fire though LMAO new appreciation for Barou fr

And IM ON IT o7 very happy to serve the miraverse and honestly it’s good for me too because if I wanna reference something quickly I can just go command f it or if I wanna read something fast I can just read my tl LMAO I also just like having my own TL/interpretations written down just for my reference too…which is part of the reason why I also ended up TLing Hioris too even though there was a TL already out! I remember reading the TLd version that got posted and some wording kinda threw me off so I was like let me just look at this myself…LOL Also I’m kinda a lore nerd so I wanna make sure I get to see any intricacies or in between the line messages that can get lost in translation! So yeah TLDR I will most definitely be here for tabieita LNs!!!

IM CRYING they’re gonna have to scroll through our manifestations and convos just to get to the chapter like imagine the link gets passed around and the first thing people read is us screaming about mariokart in yuki’s novel or anri getting done dirty (I clicked on the links just to see what they’d have to go through and oh my god chapter 2 LMFAOOO there’s like a whole minute of scrolling worth of convo before you even reach the LN part it’s so funny)

We’re truly just built different sorry this is exclusive content gatekept by the insanely long convos we have

-Karasu anon

HAHAH this time you did in fact send this in already 😭 but it’s okay i will delete the copy!! but no worries 😋

FINISHED ROUND ONE OF PROOFREADING!! heading to monaco for my mother’s birthday dinner soon hehe but once i’m back tn i will get on round two and hopefully i’ll be able to post it by tmrw!! lowkey idk how i feel about it but at least it’ll be out in the world after i’ve been talking abt it sm 😭

you came to my inbox and showed me the ways of karasuism and i’ve never looked back since 🙏🏻 jkjk but fr though i love writing him sm now he’s so good at the one sided pining thing which i loveee in a male lead 🤩 like YESSS be absolutely sick over this girl who doesn’t even know she likes you yet YESSS 🤤💖

hollyhock otoya is so fun i love him and i cannot WAIT to write more of him and y/n…idk if you’ve heard that one tik tok sound that’s like “you belong with me” from taylor swift and then it transitions into “you belong to me” from house of balloons / glass table girls from the weeknd but that’s literally hollyhock y/n + karasu’s dynamic vs her dynamic with otoya 😭😭😭 like with karasu it’s all sweet innocent besties (they are platonic soulmates coded eventually like they end up loving each other SOO MUCH but not romantically??) vs with otoya she’s literally like “i want you to belong to me” (exact quote from chapter 2: “you wanted this ninja to belong to you”) FHDKSJSJ man atp free otoya 😰🙏🏻 but he matches y/n’s freak so well he probably doesn’t even WANT to be freed

i feel like the people who would buy light novels would buy them no matter what + they probably thought barou would be popular enough to carry it?? who knows…agreed though the stories were all rlly good (well aryu’s was a little goofy but wtvr)

LMAOOO THAT’S WHAT I WAS THINKING people will be like “why are they freaking out over mario kart??” FJSJDJS but ykw if you want to read you have to go through the trials and tribulations of our massive convos 🤩 we are elite though…carrying the bllk fandom with our translations + fics 😋

[msookyspooky]

OH MY GOD SPOOKY ‼️‼️‼️‼️ thAT CHAPTER 13?????????? A MASTERPIECE!!!!

The "my girl" partmhjnjjhahhahahhuhuhaha I SWEAR i was brushing my teeth while reading and when my EYES SAW THOSE WORDS I JUST STOPPED??????? i stopped there with toothbrush all over my mouth for a good minutE TRYING TO COMPREGED TAHT!!!!!!!! UHHHHHHHGGGGGG

I have no words to explain how much i loved loved loved that chapter!!!! i have been craving for that reveal since i started reading when you were still posting the part set 1 movie and IT DID!!! NOT!!!!! DISAPOUNT!!!!!! IM SO FUCKING EXITED FOR THE REST OF THE STORY LMAOOO 💞💞💞💞💞💞

SPOILER ALERT FOR CHAPTER 13

Yn, in my opinion at least 👀, def had the chance to play dumb, act as if she didnt knew, act as if they were forcing her to do whatever accusation dewey trew at her. but she didnt‼️‼️‼️‼️ and im just freakibg outtttttt she cares so much that AGAIN she put herswlf in front of Billy. After all the pain that doung that all those years ago brought to her, she did that and didnt even think about it. even after stu literally shot someone in the chest she cares so fucking much that the death of that person donest affect how she feels about him anymore (judy didnt actually dieee but yn doesnt know itt( they didnt need to get try to get jill before she hurt yn, they couldve literally just ran away from the hospital. But the choose to stay‼️‼️‼️ for stu i wont eve.n elaborate because my. Girl. My. Ficking. Girl. Was enough for me lmaooo‼️‼️‼️but billy didnt need to say athing! In fact, it would be better for him if he didnt bc he knew dewey woukd recognize him the second the spotlight was on him. But.he did. He defended yn the second he could. He defended her even if he knew no one would listen to him.

Im 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠 anywaysssss hahaha i love your writing a normal amount............

Alsooo you wrote jill so so well that i wanted to go inside my phone and strangle her myself lmaoo

THANK YOU!!! I LOVE THIS REVIEW OMFG AFGSSG😍💘

Oh YN definitely cares and so do they there's just so much turmoil and difference in morals that it's a rough road but Billy and Stu saving her (To "kill her god knows when" yeah right 😒🙄) And her deciding to follow that moral compass and save Billy before her own ass because it was the 'right thing to do' (mm hmm 🤨😒) is just another layer they didn't know this situation could have!

Fr YN could have played dumb but I ain't gonna lie when I came out of anesthesia I slept SO HARD it was insane I was fucking out of it and barely formed thoughts so I can't imagine some bitch waking me up a few hours after my surgery trying to strangle me THEN trying to make coherent thoughts to justify why Billy is there 😣

And I think as the author writing it (And the girl reading it lol) like...YN is fucking tired.

I mean, her best friend and honestly only true friend died and she found his corpse and has that weighing on her conscience that it's her fault they seperated. Gale was never her friend 100% fake af and YN lowkey knows it. Karla is a friend by being Ray's wife but not on the level her and Randy are.

And other than Dewey; Billy and Stu is all she's got. In one night, she was truly stabbed for the first time not counting her arm or hand. Good and only Friend is dead. She's being framed AGAIN over fame she never wanted to begin with.

Dewey, as much as she loves him platonically, has changed because of that badge and being married to Gale and in Woodsboro (I noticed it from 3 to 4 with Dew to Sid and was shocked tbh) and has done nothing but make YN not trust him with her safety this entire installment.

Stu pointed it out in TT. That he was there no matter what, toxic or not. He knew the worst and best of YN and stayed there for his own selfishness but still for her as well. When Randy and Dewey only knew what YN revealed but she was living a double life that they UNDERSTANDABLY would be hurt and enraged over but Billy and Stu have been known and don't care

ISTG it's why I fuck with enemies to lovers sm bc your enemy sees your worst side, weakest side, you see there's and yet you still fall in love?

I think Billy has never seen these sides of YN and when he did in TT he was in a shit place in his life and still bitter over what she did in Set Up and Sequels Suck.

But Stu? He was in her life from Windsor to Hollywood on and off and got over her betrayal before Billy so it's easier for him.

And I hc Stu as fucking nuts to be blunt. Flys off the handle, impulsive, delusional, arrogant, has little value in peoples lives, doesn't discriminate with killing, sadist, possibly even a bit of a high functioning individual with a form of ASPD or just good old narcissism where he doesn't love like a normal person does so he forced himself into YN's life as a form of control but that doesn't mean he doesn't care for her he just cares for his own self preservation first and always will. While I hc Billy as an introverted guy with fucked up morals and possible hallucinations like his daughter Sam / he's more likely to snap than most people same with his Mom Nancy. But I think he feels love and emotions the same as anyone else he just has trust issues and cynical af.

It's why after so long...I mean, aside from money, Billy got what he wanted. YN is alone, isolated, depressed, anxiety, PTSD, no friends, everyone she cares for is dead or hates her, getting attacked by conspiracy theorists that claim she helped them. And I think he's realizing slowly but surely that maybe her suffering for trying to turn him in while saving him isn't what he wanted after all.

Thank you for the review and listening to me rant I just love these in detailed ones because sometimes you guys see things about the characters I don't even!!♡♡♡

[setsunatekiblast]

sorry this is like fully just insane babble and a look into truly how fucking weird i am in the head im really considering making a blog JUST for venting but im too lazy to do that rn

so like general rundown for context

i did some really downright shitty things as a teenager as a result of unresolved trauma in basically every corner of my life at the time (obviously this doesnt absolve me from what happened). when i was told about the extent of it i apologised and distanced myself & never talked to anyone involved ever again.

months later when i expressed that a former friend who had (in my opinion, rightfully) stepped in to stop the situation from worsening had caused me harm prior to all this and that it was still impacting me on my private account, it was leaked to her. i was threatened with a callout post and she was acting like i wasnt truly sorry for the things i'd done/trying to change even though i had done my level best to be accountable for my behaviour and do what was asked of me.

because of everything that'd already happened + this i was living in this constant state of severe anxiety. as in, i could hardly eat due to feeling nauseous every moment i was conscious, would randomly start shaking and crying & my physical health was deteriorating at many points. i was like this from about july all the way through to november-early december, i think?

like all of this happened five years ago but ive absolutely refused to let myself move on because i thought i would be dodging accountability for my behaviour but i've kind of just had a mental shift recently (maybe from my kansai trip i think it did something to me). looking back while talking to my friend i internalised everything about that series of incidents so hard that i considered myself a horrible and irredeemable person, so ive been keeping myself at arms length from others because i didnt want it to happen all over again and didnt trust myself to actually change. i thought that if i was pursuing relationships with others, i wasnt being accountable enough and dodging my past behaviour.

idk im just tired of living like this. im tired of all the self-sabotage and the fear and anxiety i have over the most minor of things. i'm tired of jumping up and running at the first signs of closer friendships forming. i had a panic attack over someone calling me a friend for gods sake, that's not normal. its not! the fact i even struggle to call people friends because of all this fear about relationships with others after all that isn't good and i need to change from that lol

even just thinking that i deserve better makes me feel like im swallowing needles and glass though, and it sucks so fucking much LMFAOOOOOOO. i dont even know what to do because i feel so shitty about even trying to pursue support from those closest to me. i feel like i'm asking so, so much of people when i cant give much of anything in return. not to mention that right now even the idea of being misunderstood makes me feel absolutely terrible and like i need to be on the defensive. in general i feel like i offer so little that trying to lean on people is selfish and that i'm just going to end up hurting them like i did that friend who simply just wanted to help me. i don't want to feel this way anymore but it's a cycle and i don't know how to stop feeling so horrid about everything and actually. well. allow myself to feel supported AND be normal in the head about it

like i need to move on not just for my sake but because. really. it's been such a long time and i don't even recognise the person i was in those messages. but i can hear just how much pain my past self was in and that just sucks, man. my friend didn't want me to suffer, but he was rightfully hurt and angered by the way i behaved. the best way to show my remorse has always been to do better by those who come into my life, but i never wholly succeeded in that because 90% of the time i would sabotage my own relationships with others and not get too close out of fear that i was going to ruin it all and just be as shitty as i was before. i thought closing myself off would be doing right by him, and to a degree it was. but it wasn't productive for me because i wasn't doing anything but closing myself off

anyway i handled something pretty good tonight that i know my past self wouldve probably flipped out about so that's probably a good sign i guess. its actually kind of surprising to see that even though my spoons are maybe a 1 at best rn i can still handle things with some grace and tact and Not be terrible. idk. maybe things are gonna be okay, especially since i have so many people in my corner nowadays who want nothing more than to see me overcome everything

[rosefires20]

Im-

I just finished the final book of the Earthsea Cycle and oh my god. There are no words to describe that ending or how well it fit. It settled so perfectly and so neatly. It went exactly where it meant to go and no I do not have the words to describe what exactly that intent or path was just that it existed.

Genuinely, the Earthsea Cycle is one of my all time favorite series. It's just so curious and so deep but also not at the same time. The lessons of the series are so fantastic and ones that I believe are impactful no matter your age. The exploration of being a woman in a world dominated by men is incredible in this series as well as the process of finding your place in the world and sometimes acknowledging that it isn't what you thought it'd be.

Each book I love more than the last. The Other Wind is so damn good. I love Alder as a character. I love Irian. I love Azver. I love the Kargish princess and her own character development. Lebannenn's character growth as well. Like just. It's so incredible. It also makes me appreciate Tales from Earthsea more because it's shocking how much each of those short stories truly contribute to the world building and conclusion of the series.

The way the story just slowly built up to the events of The Other Wind is also just incredible considering the time between the books being published especially in the second half of the series. The consistency is incredible and you really don't actually know where it is all going until the end yet everything pays off still.

Just god. I love it so much.

[kimmkitsuragi]

the fame monster (2009) - my commentary edition

this is so fun, we started doing album commentary with a mutual!! anyone who wants in can join and add their thoughts too <3

BAD ROMANCE - THEEEE SONG OF ALL TIME TBH. excuse me i will literally write an essay on this. first of all: this changed the trajectory of pop music at that time. it really did. i dont want any further comments on this.

second of all, i knowww this is probably the most popular gaga song and everyone has heard it so many times in their lives (especially on the radio in early 2010s lol) BUT! i want everyone to hear it again and again and again. because they just dont make songs like this anymore!!! the production valueeeee are u hearing this????? the vocals??? the lyrics??? the POWER absolute power of this song. oh my god.

also, rah rah bitch. gaga ooh lala even.

last of all, when she said i dont wanna be friends french and THEN started speaking french??? 😭☝ i FEEL that lady gaga

ALEJANDRO - okay this CHANGED ME as a person. im not even kidding. i watched the music video, i was like 10, and it awakened something in me.

this song was also such a hit, and to be honest, it is simply insane to me that we were listening to this on the radio. like?? are u hearing this BEAT??? with that intro?? the hook???? that buildup??? please. this is pop perfection right here.

DONT CALL MY NAME ROBERTO 😔

MONSTER - i love this one so much. that boy is a monster mo mo monster, so fucking true! one thing i really like about a lot of her music is that the songs are jams and sound really fun, but then when u listen to the lyrics, it gets really really sad. this is a good example of this. she does that a lot starting from this album especially

also that little just dance reference hehe queen of intertextuality and self referentiality (i will say this every time she references her own songs and she does that A LOT i realized lol)

SPEECHLESS - the best gaga ballad!!! TO ME!! it's soooo good. her voice is so captivating (vocal queen always foreverrrr). the lyrics are so 😭😭 the production and instrumentals!! pleaseeee

side note: interesting how her trash father inspired so many of her best works 🤔 when i listen to this song i lose myself in it every time and then i think: QUEEN how could u possibly write this about your dad and how it can be soooo good???

DANCE IN THE DARK - one of her most underrated songs!!! definitely!!! THAT BRIDGE!!!!! marilyn, judy, sylvia tell em how you feel girls 🗣🗣🗣

i love this one so much. sooo much. how do the kids say nowadays, she is really mothering in this one, okay?

ooh and did u know that there is a rina sawayama cover of this song?? i love that as well.

TELEPHONE - oh my godddd the way i would try to do the dance of this but never could 😭 it was too much for little me...

okay this one is absolutely ICONIQUE as one would say. the music video??? that's poetic cinema. they left us with "to be continued" for over a decade now lmao 😭 i wish we could see them together again pleaseeee

what can i say, it's a hit!! another song that no one could escape from in early 2010s lol she's quite the hit-maker isnt she :)

SO HAPPY I COULD DIE - what a layered song. first of all, the lyricism of this song (this album in general tbh) really transcends. the way this can be sexual, or it can be about addiction at the same time. i really dont have the brain power to write abt it in depth but i just love the lyrics of this one sooo much

"i am as vain as i allow" this is so gaga.

TEETH - 😳😳😳 okay... this one is one of her hottest songs imo what does it say abt me lmao

i LOVE this like that beat... and it has such a musical theater vibe to it, it's so so good. has some really fun vocal moments too <3 really what a closer to this incredible album!!

(BONUS SONG) RETRO, DANCE, FREAK -

okay this one is a bonus song (technically for "The Fame" album, but released with the international deluxe edition of "The Fame Monster". so im putting it here as a bonus song lol)

this one is soooo fun for me. i wish this was in the original tracklist of The Fame instead of Disco Heaven tbh. it's fun, it fits the energy and vibe of the album so well. it would be a better closer imo :<

general comments - this album is POP PERFECTION in the literal sense im not even kidding. it's her shortest, but probably the most impactful work.

in terms of production, it has such a CLARITY that is really hard to see in many albums. the art direction and music meets the production perfectly. The Fame is an iconic album, sure. but The Fame Monster really takes a huge step ahead from that if you ask me. which says a LOT about the quality of this album

i want to say, the lyrics in this album is probably my favorite from her works. it just!!!! so good, so powerful!!! the dark side of fame may seem like an overdone concept, but she does it so well here

i would say this is her best album if i didnt know what will come later in her career lmao. it's just so good, so clean, so inspirational, i would just think "okay how will she top this cmon now"... but she does she really does that's really impressive on its own

ranking for now: the fame monster >> the fame

(the ranking may get Messy in the next album commentaries lmao but im just trying 🤷‍♂️)

[a-kaash-me-outside]

okay Tori, im giving you a LONG feedback for this B2B update coz y'know, you deserve it ♡

NOT FAIR LAST CHAP IS INSANE

and UGH idk how to put it in words just to describe it. the first part (the walk back to Kei's house) has kept me so conflicted like I can feel the uneasiness like how it was depicted. 👏 the confidence on the last chap was eased perfectly in this chap as Kei turned the tables, it was amazing. he was idk more forceful, more condescending, just to let reader feel that he was in control again and it has to be that way, and she was comfortable in that. "God you could barely handle a few hours of what I have to do for you every single day." YES KEI, YES!! DOMINATE ME! "I want you to watch me fuck you." IM ROLLING ON THE BED OMG and more, omg in the line as Kei continued. the whole scene was fantastic Tori. i mean, where'd you get these hot ideas and scenes?? And Kei reading reader like a book, knowing she likes it like that OMG THE SMIRK OF THAT HOT FCK okay im gonna stop okay wait no Kei pressing reader's back to his chest while fcking was so HOT i had to read it again to satisfy myself of that scene until okay i've read enough. aaahhh, the way the aftercare and confession about how she feels took place, HEARTS EVERYWHERE. and the FUCK the gentle sex after the very rough sex was amazing it melted me!! "you know I'll do anything for you right?" uhhhh my hearttttt. it took me back to the first chap where the reader begged for Kei to fuck her and make her cum. she was in control the whole time, we we're so lost in Kei dominating butー HANDS DOWN TORI!! and i wanna add..... HOW ABOUT TADASHI? i mean, no epilogue? like he got back on his own feet and took Kei's lessons into practice with any other girls. HAHAHA it'll be hilarious, it's already hilarious to imagine. "Thanks, Kei. I owe this to you and to my ex." LMAO.

TWRT Maki backstory is comforting and disturbing for some reason

can i include myself with those Maki bitches? because honestly, I AM. Sorry 'Tsumu, but my heart's 60% Maki.

so, I was expecting it will be a Maki POV kind of thing but this also works pretty well too. Hanamaki, my love, is so over-the-top loverboy that every girl deserves. Oh praises everywhere and out I'm inlove with him, he'll never fail to make you feel comfortable. maybe because the relationship foundation has enough stability that it did work out to evolve into a gf-bf relationship. i really love platonic love because you can never be wrong with it, even if it evolves to something like that so casually. and it was amazing Tori, it broke me maybe too much more if I didn't know they'll break up eventually. Reader handled it perfectly HANDS DOWN that scene when Maki asked her to put a label on her: girlfriend. LMAO the rebound thing with Iwa was hilarious!!! The read was too relaxing AND NGL, i was expecting a hard break up but like the casual evolution of their relationship, it broke up cleanly too like: WTF WHY YOU TEACHING ME THAT THERE IS SOMETHING LIKE THIS THAT COULD HAPPEN IM NOT ACCUSTOMED BY THIS, IS LOVE LIKE THIS, THERE'S REALLY A LOVE LIKE THIS!? like that. TBH, i really feel uncomfortable because I really wanted him to end up with reader and I can't think of how pain will reside in him when Atsumu gets the one thing that is very precious to him. Maybe it'll break me if I'll read the Maki alternate ending. omg, I'm shaking 🥺 I wish mine broke cleanly like this. and I know, after this, Maki will never move on from herーor not, what do you think Tori? Is he gonna move on from her? but dont spoil LOL I wanna excite myself!! Oh the heartbreak my God.

THANK YOU TORI, THANKS FOR THIS. IM WAITING FOR THE NEXT WAKING DAY TO HAVE THE B2B ENDINGS. I LOVE YOU! ♡

this is me right now contemplating what to feel.

PAH OMG OMG. thank you so much for these in-depth thoughts i love them omg omgogmogmgmo. hehehehe. i love love love the last chapter of not fair! i think it refocused on reader and tsukishima rather than tadashi which was the VIBE and just focuses on the love between them and how their relationship has evolved. <3 (also, i come up with these scenes because i am a horny bitch that's it)

AND AH YEA. the whole point of posting the maki chapter was in PREP for tonight where i hope everyone loves the last chapter and ALSO the maki chapter hahahahaha.

[tetsutits]

hi jay!! i've been so busy but i finally managed to read the first 7k words of violet rays and didn't want to make you wait who knows how long until i have time to read more.

you are insane for that 1st paragraph! what an insanely good opening. "They call it sonder - the realization that every passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own." incredible start. incredible.

the packing scene is such an adorable way to characterize reader. what a relatable reader character but very charming too.

somehow i missed that this wasn't a best friend ran fic but a best friend's older brother ran fic, which is infinitely more up my alley. i was so hype when i realized. because yeah, big brother ran would have me in chokehold too.

i really love the way you are structuring your scenes. the quick transitions, the balance of dialogue and interiority. i especially love how you're establishing settings. i somehow get a little lost when reading fic because of the lack of setting (which is understandable, i get authors wanting to get to the hot stuff!) but i love that you are giving us the full sensory details. my favorites so far:

"the inside of your cotton tank top sticks uncomfortably to your skin, the same way that the soft hairs at the back of your neck are sticking to each other." and "the world around you is blue and green." it's all of it tbh

i can already tell this is going to be my favorite thing you've ever written!!!

aaa omg sorry for not responding sooner!! your ask has me so giddy :> my thoughts under the cut!

the first paragraph was actually written last in the fic 👀 im not very good at intro’s, honestly i tend to struggle w them a lot; so i slapped that word in there and called it a day ahahakaksn

i actually LOVE the mc so much in this fic! i pat myself on the back because she’s so cute, and i wanted the readers to be able to relate with her on some level. i also put some of myself in her too hehe i really am writing my fantasies huh

it’s actually a theyre-both-my-best friends-but-i’m-in-love-with-the-older-one LMAO she is closer to Rin tho (and oh my god, i was trying so hard not to make him the main guy i’m so down bad he makes me SO weak) but i won’t say anymore about their dynamic in fear of spoiling it, because you’ll understand once you’ve read the whole thing!

i love that trope too!! i will admit i was falling for ran each day i was NOT immune to this pouty mess of a man! sorry ran, but rin will always remain number one in my heart!

i think it adds more spice tbh, it’s more interesting than the regular friends2lovers ✨✨

i can proudly say tho, that establishing a setting and describing surroundings is my strong point in writing, i really focus on that + characterization a lot. i worked hard on those, fun fact, i had to re write Ran’s first kitchen scene with the reader like THREE TIMES!!! bc i was like …. no .. he would not say that or act like that.. re write it. lmaoo my beta readers hate me HAHA

you are too nice to me!! thank you SO much for leaving your thoughts!!!! i was so happy when i received your ask :> you amaze me as a writer and so when i got this and realized you liked my fic i had to sit on the floor for 5 minutes to collect my self LMAO

i’m excited to hear your thoughts on the other half! it definitely gets better as you read and Ran gets sexier of course take your time, and sorry it took me a while to respond i’m actually meant to be on a social media break rn lol, have a good day!!!💕

[spushii]

LITERALLY SO GLAD THAT THE FEELING INSANE OVER THIS SERIES IS MUTUAL FR ITS BEEN ABSOLUTELY TEARING ME APART id love to hear your thoughts!!!! *_* I have been itching to read more posts about it but also trying to avoid spoilers rbdbdbjf

I just started nona yesterday, I finished harrow few days ago but god that one fucked with me good I needed a bit to just let everything that happened sink in. like ITS SO GOOD it’s so much darker than the first book and I still don’t have the words to express how much I genuinely enjoyed the second one it’s literally so fucking great. I was almost tempted to reread harrow after I finished it but I wanted to read all three before any rereads lol but the attachment I have to these characters is insane I just fucking cling to them so badly I am so unwell. love gideon, my best friend gideon I miss her sm…

SQUEEEEEEEEEE IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKED HARROW!!! its such a phenomenal book its so. um. Harrowing. lol. im going to have a really hard time articulating just all of the Shit That I Think About with this book series because there really really is so much.

getting right into the meat of my thoughts i guess. i really love how Gideon's bit with Ianthe at the end of HtN recontextualizes the bit of the pool scene where Harrow talks about the first time she saw The Body. where it really does feel like in that moment Gideon simultaneously realized that she was in love with Harrowhark and that Harrow would never feel the same. And i think it allows you to glean some of the genuinely a little bit selfish motivation behind Gideon's suicide. There were a lot of things that motivated Gideon to kill herself so Harrow and Camilla could live, but i think a significant portion of it was her not wanting to live a life indebted to Harrow in a way she would never be content with (Connecting mostly to Harrow asking her to return to the ninth house and care for it ((and by extension, The Body)) in her stead, in the event of her death), which is to say in the grand scheme of things, the choice between Living for Harrow and Dying for Harrow was a very easy one to make for Gideon Nav.

I dont have as much analysis for this but god i think all the fucking time. About Gideon the First attacking Harrow in the bathroom. and the subsequent Everything. It's just so fucking. Bleak. Reading it is physically exhausting. It's so. oh my god. I don't even know what to say. Fucking "Harrow, do something normal." I'm Going To Kill Myself. Im Going To Kill John Gaius. The fact that she KILLS him and it doesnt even KEEP. THE FUCKING. THIS. HARROWWWWW

HARROWHARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL IN MY LIFE AFTER IVE READ THIS

I do love John. as much as i hate him i love him as well. He's such a fucking coward. such a worthless piece of shit. such a suffocatingly interesting character. I love when Harrow tries to ask him about Alecto and he goes on about fucking "You'd make a hell of a daughter, Harrowhark. I sometimes indulge in the wish that you'd been mine." LITERALLY FUCKING WHAT. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOTU WHERE AM I.what if you had a crush on a girl but you had an even bigger crush on her dad's dead ex-girlfriend and then her dad told you that he wished you were his daughter. i feel so fucking abnormal

EDITING THIS POST BECAUSE I FORGOT I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT WAKE. WHAT THE FUCK RIGHT???????????????? god i think forever about how much Gideon Nav loved her mother. how much she clung to the belief that she was loved. Has Gideon Nav ever been knowingly loved by anyone, in her life? Maybe Aiglemene loved her, in a way. But Gideon wouldn't have known that until it was far too late to treasure it. Harrow certainly loves her, but Gideon can't believe that. Not with The Body in the way. Not with Harrow, to Gideon, seeming so disgusted with her final act of devotion that she destroyed her own mind to be rid of the knowledge of it. Magnus treated her kindly, but kind is a far cry from love. But she loved her mother. Held the belief so desperately-yet-gently close to her chest, that her mother loved her too. Loved her enough to come crashing and burning through the Ninth planet's atmosphere and dying herself on the way down. Loved her enough to protect her life at the expense of her own. Imagine, then, for Gideon to learn that she was a tool. A key. Her destiny in life was to die within the first days of her birth; a blood sacrifice, as her mother willed it. Her mother hadn't brought her to the Ninth House in an attempt to save her, she'd brought her there on her way to kill her. Its So. God. Fuck this fucking book. Has Gideon ever been loved? Every truly been loved by anyone in this world? If she has, she doesn't know it.

[safesthaveninexistence]

So grateful I'm spiritually powerful to rid of absolutely all fears. Wow. I made it. I'm my own Deus Ex Machina. Geez. It's deadass a whole Universe Within. Wow. I deadass did it. I clinged onto faith and hope that being insane and unhinged would bring me to the other side and bitch it did. Astronomically. Geez. That's why I shouldn't fear being "unhinged and insane" because it only generates more mindblowing Magic and I'll only come across as even more and more saner. I'm grateful I have the option to be able to come across as the most sanest person alive. Like thank God there are realities that validates me and my sanity. Thank God I'm in reality that makes me feel sane. lol. Like this is a whole new New Earth reality. Can't believe I went through such horror to get to the Kingdom Of Peace. Wow. Higher Alternate Realities are Peace. They are Love. Wow. All because I get to choose. Incredulous how I have so much power just from internally. Wow. That's why people are able to control their reality just from within. Thank God this moment is the moment I momentously cracked the code. Wow. A new layer of profundity. Wow. New layer of profundity brings me far more blessings. So grateful the unknown only gets safer and safer. So grateful I have 100% control over the unknown. Wow just like I'm effectively my own Deus Ex Machina im my own Hero I can effectively manifest Laika without guilt or shame or without even feeling I'm abandoning myself or hurting myself. I'm valid to be excited about someone without losing myself in anyway!!!!! That's a new loving way to exists!!!! Thank God for this much needed craved change!!!!! I'm powerful enough now to believe and be assured I am absolutely doing everything right. I reached to the place where I am certain everyone only has love for me behind my back and the front of the scenes. Damn mom gave me her bank account wow so trustworthy. My universe is so exceedingly trustworthy it's unbearable! Even the energy and intention in the world unbearable is TRUSTWORTHY. Whether I believe it or not I'll meet people who are my level of genius and it'll greatly relieve me. Like I won't feel alone with my thoughts and astronomical brilliance. My energy naturally overpowers energy. My energy naturally overpowers others. My energy naturally overpowers reality. My energy naturally overpowers the 3D. My energy is global fame. My energy is global phenomenon. I only get more and more infinitely bolder and bolder with my manifesting skills. I only get more and more infinitely assured with my manifesting skills. I only get more and more infinitely confident with my manifesting skills. I only get more and more infinitely encouraged by my manifesting skills. I only get more and more infinitely satisfied by my manifesting skills. I only get more and more infinitely pleased with my own manifesting skills. I only get more and more infinitely impressed with my manifesting skills. I only get more and more infinitely satisfied with my manifesting skills. I only get more and more infinitely content with my manifesting skills. I only get more and more infinitely gleeful with my manifesting skills. I only get more and more infinitely hopeful with my manifesting skills. I only get more and more infinitely trusting with my manifesting skills. I infinitely only get more and more unerringly powerful and consistent at exceeding absolutely all of my expectations with my manifesting skills. I only get more and more expeditious with my manifesting skills. I only get more and more infinitely trustworthy to myself. I only get more and more infinitely in control of my manifesting skills. I only get more and more infinitely happier with my manifesting skills. I only get more and more infinitely grateful for my manifesting skills. I only get more and more infinitely empowered by my manifesting. My manifesting skills only get more and more infinitely astronomically brilliant. My manifesting skills only grows more and more infinitely alive. My manifesting skills only gets more and more infinitely sexy.