#god that hint of pit drives me insane

[bigassbowlingballhead]

He’s serving face

He’s serving cunt

[farfromharry]

Brightside | CEO!Dad!Tom fic

summary: a sudden and unexpected turn of events with your little boy, leaves him in the hospital with an unknown diagnosis. tom has to fly home and the two of you have to face each other, properly and civilly, for the first time since your breakup. will this negative experience turn into a positive one, in more ways than one?

word count - 10.3k

warnings - warnings - language, hospitals, needles, fainting, mentions of seizures, mentions of blood

a/n - angst for once, but obviously ending in fluff because i can’t hurt myself like that🥰 also i’m super nervous to post this so lets see how this goes :)

A loud, irritating noise filled the kitchen as your phone began to ring. You groaned, annoyed. The once calm silence was now filled with your curses of panic as you tried to wipe off your messy hands as quickly as possible. You found an unused cloth on your kitchen side and decided on just using that, wiping off the remnants of the food you’d been making. You grabbed your phone from off of the counter, pressing the green accept button, lifting the device up to your ear.

“Hello?” you asked. Having not bothered to look at the contact name, you had absolutely no idea who you were even talking to right now.

“Hi, is this Miss Y/L/N?”

You mumbled a quick ‘yes.’ You wedged the phone between your ear and your shoulder, picking up the knife you’d been using a few minutes prior to continue cutting up the vegetable in front of you.

“This is about your son, Theo,” she said, “I work in the reception at the school.” You rolled your eyes, assuming that your angel of a four year old had somehow gotten into some trouble that you were now going to have to deal with.

The lady proceeded to explain to you quite the opposite of what you’d originally thought. She’d told you how Theo had thrown up in class, prompting him to be sent to the nurse where he then fainted, almost escalating to a seizure.

“What?” you asked. Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach, a sick feeling beginning to bubble in your throat. The knife had carelessly slipped from your fingers, making a loud clattering noise as it hit the counter. You gave the woman your undivided attention, listening to every word she spoke to you. She confirmed again what you’d thought you’d heard, your heart starting to beat out of your chest.

“We’re taking him to the hospital just in case,” she said, “Can you meet us there?”

You were panicking, her words barely even registering in your head until she called your name again. You muttered a quick yes in response. Your hands were beginning to shake and it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep hold of your phone.

“I’ll be right there.”

You looked around at the mess, scrolling through the contacts on your phone and calling your mother. She picked up quickly, happily greeting you on the other end of the line. You quickly explained to her the situation and asked nicely if she could clean up what you’d been doing while you’re gone.

She thankfully said yes, promising everything would be fine. You were in such a rush after that, that you didn’t take anything with you except your phone. You slipped your shoes on as quick as you could, grabbing your car keys out of the small wooden bowl on the side and rushing out of the front door.

It was a miracle that you somehow didn’t crash your car on the way to the hospital. There were tears welling up in your eyes and it was impossible to properly see clearly. Your hands were still shaking as they gripped the wheel with so much strength you were scared it could break. Your head was a mess and you could barely process which direction you were going, you knew you shouldn’t have been driving like this.

It was almost a daze when you thought about how you got from your home to the hospital, your brain couldn’t piece together being in the car.

As soon as you’d parker, you were rushing inside, probably looking insane to others as you frantically turned your head in any direction, trying to find where you could ask for help.

You were clearly distressed and people were beginning to notice, one of those people being the lady that had called you earlier.

“Miss Y/L/N.”

Your head whipped around to where the voice came from, spotting her standing a few metres away. You made your way over, seeing her motion to the room where you could see your little boy laying inside.

Your heart broke even more at the sight of him. There were wires connected to him, ones that you didn’t understand, and it scared you to the core.

You frowned, stroking your hand through his messy curls, trying to tame the wild hair as best you could. It was one of the many things he’d inherited from his dad.

“Do you have anyone else you can call?” she asked, politely, “I just don’t want to leave you here alone.”

You smiled at her in thanks, nodding your head and forcing yourself to move away from your baby boy.

“I should probably call his dad,” you stated.

You heard a quiet groan from your side, turning your body to see Theo’s eyes fluttering awake, his body shifting uncomfortably.

“Oh thank god, you’re awake,” you gushed. You kissed his head over and over, wrapping your arms around him tightly. You heard the boy whine about you almost suffocating him and letting out a relieved giggle, you loosened your grip.

You still held him to your chest, just long enough to calm your racing heart.

“I’ll leave you both,” she spoke, reminding you she was still in the room.

You nodded your head, flashing her a genuinely thankful smile.

“Thank you for helping him,” you whispered. You gave her a friendly hug, telling your son to wave goodbye before she left. You sighed deeply, taking a moment to let everything sink in to not overwhelm yourself.

You heard the four year old calling for you, prompting you to turn around to see what he needed.

“What’s wrong, pumpkin?” He jutted his bottom lip out, looked absolutely adorable as he started up at you with those soft, honey, brown eyes.

“I’m bored,” he whined. You pouted for him, eyes scanning around the small room for anything he could possibly amuse himself with.

“Do you want me to go ask for a colouring book or something?” you asked him. He rapidly nodded his head, a smile breaking out on your face for the first time within the hour, since the school had called you.

“Alright, I’ll be back in a second.”

Before you walked out of the door, you turned back to him and pointed your finger at him accusingly. “Don’t get into any trouble, mister,” you warned, a hint of playfulness in your tone. He giggled loudly, making your heart melt at the adorable sound.

“I promise.”

Being on a children's ward meant that the front desk always had things like these at hand. The ladies were more than happy to give you one of the books they had left, not having many options to choose from though.

They handed you some crayons and other colouring items. You thanked them profusely, knowing that you now wouldn’t have to deal with a cranky little Holland boy, because you knew how they could get.

You made your way back to the room quickly, having your doubts about leaving the toddler alone in an unknown place for any longer than necessary.

“Here you go, little man.”

You handed him the book with the wide variety of colouring items. You had to explain to him that the only books they had left were animals and flowers and you thought the animal ones looked much more fun.

“I’m expecting to see a rainbow frog,” you told him. He giggled, shaking his head.

“You can’t have a rainbow frog, mummy.” You gasped, furrowing your eyebrows teasingly.

“Why not, mister?” you asked. You saw him huff, trying to hide your giggle.

“They’re not real,” he said, like it was just so obvious.

This time you couldn’t hide your giggle as you watched his tiny brows furrow in annoyance at you. You leaned forward and placed a kiss to the tiny crease in the middle of his eyebrows. Once again something he got from his dad when he pulled the same face.

“I was just teasing bub.” He rolled his eyes at you, making you gasp and poke his belly teasingly. He giggled loudly, the noise echoing around the room as he tried to get you to stop tickling him.

You had considerably calmed down from when you arrived at the hospital to now, feeling your heart beating at a much slower pace, one that was at least calm.

“Will you colour with me?” he asked.

Originally, you were going to take this time to call Tom, but seeing the boy’s puppy dog eyes, you absolutely couldn’t resist.

You stayed and coloured in the animals with him for a while, just enjoying bonding with your bub.

You’d help him stay in the lines of the drawing, helping him out where he needed helping, while also working on your own animal, surprisingly enjoying yourself.

Noticing the time on the clock, you made the decision that you had to call Tom, it had already been long enough, it couldn’t wait any longer.

“I’m just going to go call daddy, okay?” He nodded his head, content with going back to his colouring book. You sighed, leaving the room and finding a quiet space in the corridor.

You pulled up Tom’s contact on your phone, one you’d contemplated deleting probably a hundred times, hovering over the call button hesitantly.

As soon as it started ringing your heart ached, you weren’t even sure if he’d pick up, possibly too busy with work once again.

You gasped when you heard the phone connect, almost shocked that he’d take the time to answer you.

“Hi, Tom, um-“ He cut you off before you could even finish, something that irritated you beyond belief.

“Look Y/N, now’s really not a good time, can this wait?” he asked, telling someone on the other side of the phone that he’d be two minutes.

“Tom, I had to take Theo to the hospital,” you cried, finally letting out the sob you’d been holding in all day. You didn’t mean to cry or guilt him, it was just bad timing. You’d been trying to be strong for your little boy, knowing he was already scared out of his mind, he didn’t need to know his mum was scared too.

“Woah, hey, calm down, breathe Y/N.” You listened to his smooth voice, taking deep breaths until you were able to talk again.

“What do you mean you had to take him to the hospital,” he said, “What happened?”

A sense of overwhelming panic beginning to overtake his entire body. He was across the ocean, there was nothing he could do.

You explained everything that had happened up until now, Tom listening intently to every word.

“Shit, do they know what’s wrong?” he asked, nervously. You could hear the worry in his voice.

“No, we’re waiting for them to come and do some tests,” you said, glancing back at your boy through the window in his room. Just to check that he was okay.

“Is he okay right now?” he questioned. His brain was a mess, there were so many possibilities of things that could be wrong running through his head and he hoped to God that none of them were true.

“Yeah, I think so, he’s just colouring at the minute.”

Tom sighed. “Okay, well um-“ He tried to organize his thoughts, listening to you telling him to take a minute. “I’ll be there as soon as I can,” he said. You suddenly felt awful, knowing he was halfway across the world. The last thing you wanted was to guilt trip him into dropping everything, especially if he didn’t want to. Your tears had come to a stand still, trying to explain to him that it was okay and you had this under control.

“You don’t have to, I know you’re busy and-“ He cut you off again.

“Nothing’s more important to me than him, I’ll be there, I promise.”

After going through the later years of your relationship, you knew not to trust Tom’s promises, and you also knew how stubborn he was. His promises were often broken and just ended up hurting people in the end, and you didn’t want that to be you all over again.

“Y/N, did you hear me?” he asked, after not receiving a response from you.

“Yeah, I heard you, I’ll see you soon,” you said. You said your goodbyes, hanging up the phone and heading back inside the hospital room to see your boy.

“Change of plans, cancel the meeting,” Tom demanded, taking his coat from behind his chair and throwing it on his body in a haste. The women and men sitting around the table stared at him in shock, gasping at how unprofessional the CEO seemed to be.

“Mr Holland, this meeting is important, we can’t just cancel,” she tried to reason. He waved her off, shaking his head and dialling another number on his phone, the one of his personal assistant.

“Harrison, hi, I need you to book me on the next flight to London, asap.”

She apologised to them on his behalf, but the woman refused to give up, following Tom out of the meeting room and all the way to the set of lifts at the end of the floor. Tom was rapidly pressing the button to call the lift, hoping it could come quicker than it was. He hung up the phone with Harrison after confirming all the details of the flight.

“London?” she gasped, “You can’t go to London, we’re in the middle of one of the biggest deals of your career Tom.”

Tom rolled his eyes, almost up to his limits with everything. He didn’t know what was going to cause him to break down first, the woman or the fact that the lift still wasn’t here. He knew it was silly to get so worked up over something so small, but his concern for his child was above anything else.

“I don’t care about the deal, Y/N just called, Theo’s in the hospital,” he said. She frowned, an apology already on the tip of her tongue. “I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“What do you want me to do?” she asked, referencing the meeting with the big investors that was due to happen any moment.

“Whatever you think is best, but please don’t tell them about Theo, I don’t want this getting out.” She nodded, heading back towards the office to explain what was happening with the meeting, unfortunately having to come up with something on the spot.

While Tom was being driven to the airport, you were trying to convince Theo to get in bed and go to sleep. It was late for him, almost eleven, and he’d had a very long day.

“Please, it’s already past your normal bedtime.” He pouted, making grabby hands at you.

“But this bed isn’t comfy and-“ You rolled your eyes, gently squeezing his cheeks together to get him to stop making excuses.

“Do you want me to sleep with you?” you asked, seeing him nod his head. You smiled softly, climbing under the covers and seeing what he meant when he said it was uncomfortable. You let him curl into you, resting his small head on your chest, his arms clinging to you.

“Mummy?” he whispered. You hummed, running your fingers through his curly hair, something that you usually did when he was scared, because it always calmed him down. He shifted in your arms, pushing himself up on the small bed so that he could lay his head next to yours on the soft pillow.

“Do you still love daddy?” he asked, looking up at you with his big brown eyes that perfectly resembled Toms. Your heart ached. In all honesty, you didn’t know what to say to the boy, because you didn’t know yourself. You thought it over in your head quietly.

On the one hand you hated how obsessed and committed he was to his work, but on the other, he was an amazing dad to Theo, and he always treated you like a princess. Your eyes flickered over your baby’s face, admiring all the parts of his features that he got from his daddy.

You realised in that moment, looking at those tiny features, the ones that resembled the ones you studied for hours on end once upon a time, you truly did hold a soft spot for Tom, even now. You sighed, stroking your boy’s cheek, ready to give him his answer.

“Of course I do.” you admitted. You saw the corner of his lips twitch up as he tried to bite back a smile.

“Then why don’t you live together,” he asked, “Everyone else at school’s parents live together.” You frowned, not having the heart to tell him about your break up properly, even after all this time. You simply pulled him closer to you, wrapping your arms around his tiny body and kissing the top of his head.

“We needed some time apart, to focus on what needed our attention,” you said, “We couldn’t do everything at once.”

You saw him staring up at you with his wide eyes, your heart pounding in your chest even thinking about what happened with Tom. You weren’t quite sure Theo understood what you meant, because he still looked a little confused.

“So, your daddy had to focus on his company, making sure everything was going well and I had to focus on my little rugrat,” you said, poking his belly to tickle him. He giggled, trying to squirm away from your hands.

“Is it like-like in Captain America, when Steve has to leave Peggy to save the world.” You raised your eyebrows, thinking it over. You were a little bit shocked by his surprisingly good analogy.

“And then Peggy has to focus on Shield,” you added, “It’s exactly like that Theo.” He nodded his head, understanding where you were coming from.

You saw his big eyes begin to blink more, but also slower, a tell-tale sign that he was going to knock out any minute.

“Mummy?” he asked again. You smiled.

“Yes Theo?” you said, brushing his overgrown curls out of the way of his eyes.

“Are you more like Steve or Peggy?” he asked. You giggled, amused by the idea of him relating yours and Tom’s relationship to a fictional, superhero one.

“Well you see, I’m more like Steve, because I had to sacrifice everything for my world, just like he did.” You kissed his head when you said ‘my world,’ clearly referring to your boy.

“Wow,” he mumbled, letting his eyes finally flutter shut. “My mummy’s a superhero.”

Your eyes began to water happily, cradling his head to your chest as he finally fell asleep. You took deep breaths, trying to bite back the heart wrenching cry that was threatening to come out.

After a while of laying in the silence of the hospital room, you gave in and closed your eyes, letting your son’s rhythmic breaths ease you to sleep.

You were completely unaware that Tom had gotten the first flight out to London after he ended your phone call. You assumed he would have arrived in a few days time, at least, probably having left over business to finish up first.

[His heart] was racing the entire journey, feeling utterly useless from halfway across the world and he couldn’t stand it.

Harrison had tried to calm him down as he helped him pack for his flight on the private jet, telling him he needed to be positive about this. Tom had snapped at him, asking him how that was even possible while he wasn’t with his own child.

Tom felt bad but Harrison made it clear that he didn’t take it to heart, knowing he was stressed and there was nothing he could really do to help.

He offered to go with his boss, thinking it’d be better if he wasn’t doing this all alone, but Tom refused with minimal explanation. He knew you wouldn’t want a stranger lingering around the hospital room if anything went badly.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Tom?” he asked, standing on the runway at the entrance to the private jet, ready to go with him to England if he just so much as asked.

“I’m okay, really,” he promised, ascending the steps of the plane with his luggage.

The plane ride was gruelling. Tom didn’t know what to expect when he arrived, and he certainly didn’t know how it was going to go between the two of you while he was there. The flight was long and he tried to get as much sleep as he could, barely managing a couple hours with the worry bubbling in the pit of his stomach.

Everything seemed to be going so slowly, right from landing to getting through the airport.

It felt like he was waiting for a taxi for days, tapping his thumb on his arm anxiously, his eyes focused solely on the ground, trying to control the thoughts in his head.

The ride from the airport to the children’s hospital was agony for the young father. Tom’s leg was bouncing nervously, his hands shaking and his eyes glancing down at his watch or his phone every few seconds. He hadn’t gotten any updates from you recently, assuming you’d fallen asleep because of the time.

He knew that with it being this late he’d have to see you and Theo tomorrow morning. Before he left he didn’t really consider the time difference.

When the taxi stopped he was quick to toss the man the right amount of money, practically sprinting out of the car to grab his luggage.

It was as if he ran into the hospital, looking around frantically in search of the reception area, just like you had done hours prior. When he spotted it, it was like his feet were working before his brain. They led him to the woman before he even had time to process that he was moving.

“Hi, I’m here for Theodore Holland,” he announced. The woman at the front desk clearly didn’t notice the sense of urgency in Tom’s voice.

“Sir, I’m sorry, visiting hours are over,” she said, “They start again tomorrow at nine,” she explained calmly. Tom shook his head, running his hands through his hair for the hundredth time today. He was sure that by now it looked a complete mess, a contrast from his normally styled and gelled hair.

“I can’t wait, I have to see him,” he whined pitifully, “Please,” he begged.

She took pity on the young man, nodding her head and waving the rules in his time of need.

“And who are you?” she asked, typing the little boy’s name into the computer to search for his files, so slowly, like they had all the time in the world.

“I’m his dad,” he stated, looking around the hospital ward in a panic. She nodded, looking at the details for Theo on her computer.

“Can you just confirm his birthday?” she asked. Tom recited the little boy’s birthday to her with ease, the six digits being the password to his phone for the last four years and the day also being the best moment of his life.

“Alright, Mr Holland, you want to go right down that hall, turn left and then it’s the first door on your right, room 106,” she instructed. Tom thanked her, taking long, quick strides down the hallway, carrying his bag with his belongings in his hand.

After finding the plaque with the correct door number, he noticed the lights were off. He carefully opened the door and creeped in, closing it quietly behind him, to not disturb either of you. He noticed two figures on the bed instead of one, his heart melting at the sight of your four year old curled up into your chest like an infant again.

He let out a quiet sigh, placing his bag on the floor, taking a seat next to Theo’s side of the bed. He could now clearly see your face as you slept, still as beautiful as he remembered.

Yours and Tom’s breakup was messy. Breakups always are when there’s a child involved.

You simply hated how much Tom was working, barely ever home to see you both, leaving, what felt like, all the responsibility to you. You were both still young, only twenty-two at the time and you were struggling. One more missed dinner and crying baby finally tipped you over the edge, to where you couldn’t take it anymore.

When Tom finally came home that night you confronted him about it all. You didn’t mean to start a fight but that was evidently what happened anyway. You thought it could’ve been a civilised discussion that would be solved within the hour.

Tom left the house that night to go and stay with his brothers, hoping he could give you time to cool off and then everything would be back to normal when he next saw you.

However, what he didn’t expect, was for you to tell him you were really done, just like you’d said in the argument. He seemingly couldn’t choose between his job and his girlfriend and child, so, you chose for him.

He didn’t mean for it to happen. He didn’t realise how much he was focused on work instead of the people that mattered to him, and he pretty much lost everything within a night.

The next week, Tom was off doing more and more business deals to distract himself from his loss, his family claiming he was overworking himself. He never listened to them though, and that’s how he ended up in the states, far away from you and far away from his son.

From next to the bed Tom saw his baby begin to stir, shuffling over closer to his side of the bed and smiling down at the beautiful boy.

“Daddy?” he asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with his tiny fists.

“Hi precious.” Tom stroked his cheek softly. This was the first time he’d been able to see his son in months, and he’d almost forgotten how amazing it was to see him in person. Yes, he’d seen him on facetime frequently, but there was something much more heart-warming about seeing him in the flesh and being able to hold him.

“What are you doing here?” he asked rather loudly, Tom shushing him and pointing to you.

“We don’t want to wake mummy,” he said, seeing Theo nod his head. He extended his arms out for his dad, wanting him to pick him up. Tom carefully scooped him out of bed, trying his hardest not to wake you from your peaceful sleep.

Theo wrapped his arms around his dad’s neck in one of his hugs, giving Tom a chance to look over his shoulder and finally admire your sleeping figure. Just you this time, no toddler cuddled up to you obscuring part of his view.

He admired all the things he used to- well, still does love about you. The way your eyelashes rested just above your cheeks, the way your lips parted just making him want to constantly kiss you. The way the sun shining through the window perfectly illuminated your face, making you look like a perfect angel. He took a few steps closer, just enough to brush some hair out of your face that looked like it was bothering you. Even the simple touch had you nuzzling your cheek, subconsciously, into the warmth of his hand, having missed his touch, even if you’d refuse to admit it when you were awake.

“Daddy?” Theo whispered, taking his note of trying not to wake you up.

“What’s up, bug?” he asked, turning his head to look at him. He always felt it was like looking into a time machine. You were convinced right from the day he was born that he didn’t get any of your features, looking like a clone of Tom when he was a toddler. But Tom was always adamant that Theo got your personality and mannerisms.

“I’m hungry,” he pouted, resting his tired head on his shoulder.

“Let’s go find you something to eat,” he said, following the hospital signs that pointed in the direction of the café.

Tom, stupidly, didn’t think to leave you a note to tell you that he’d arrived, or that he’d just taken Theo for food.

You didn’t really remember falling asleep in the uncomfortable hospital bed, nor did you remember Tom pulling a blanket over you and Theo in the middle of the night, or Tom even arriving for that matter.

You opened your eyes, groaning quietly as you were pulled out of your sleep. You turned your head to see if your son was awake, which you had no doubts he would be, but you frowned when you noticed he was no longer even in the bed, the sheets now cold on his side.

You sat up, looking around the room to find you were completely alone, except there was now an unfamiliar bag sitting next to the door. Your motherly instincts kicked in and you began to panic not knowing the whereabouts of your baby.

You were about to call for a nurse, asking if she’d seen him when Tom walked through the door with your son perched on his hip, laughing loudly as he nibbled on a sandwich.

“Oh thank god,” you said, taking Theo from Tom’s arms into your own. You kissed his head, running your hands over his hair.

“I didn’t know where you were,” you whined, glancing up at Tom. Theo nuzzled closer to you, his silent way of telling you he was here.

“That was my fault, sorry, he was hungry so I-“ This time you were the one to cut Tom off before he could finish his sentence.

“It’s okay, just scared me s’all.” Theo tucked his head into your neck, his small hand still clinging on to his food. After a few minutes, your heart had calmed down, reminding you that he still hadn’t eaten.

“Okay, go and eat buddy.” You let him down, watching him scurry off back to his bed where he had a little table he could eat on. You watched him for a couple seconds, making sure he was okay before turning back around to face Tom.

“Hi.” He said, staring right at you, that oh so familiar face looking as perfect and handsome as he had the first time you met.

“Hi Tom,” you said back. There was a painfully awkward tension between you both, one that could’ve been cut with a knife. Neither of you really knew what to speak about, both of you trying to start a conversation at exactly the same time, something that only made it even more awkward.

“You go first,” he said, trying to be polite.

“When did you get here?” you asked. You noticed the bags under his eyes, feeling yourself start to worry about him, but part of you told you to stop.

“Just after four, they almost didn’t let me in,” he explained. You nodded your head, nervously fiddling with a loose thread on your shirt.

“Well, he seems pretty glad that you’re here Tom,” you said, flashing him a nervous smile.

“H-how do you feel?” he asked, “About me being here?” It was silent for a few minutes. Tom was nervous, immediately regretting even asking as soon as the question came out of his mouth.

“I’m happy you’re here too.” His eyes widened in shock, taken aback by that answer. He smiled, his heart beginning to beat slightly faster.

Neither of you said anything more as you entered Theo's room, choosing to make small conversation with the boy about anything and everything, rather than with each other.

At some point in the afternoon Theo had grown sleepy, crawling under the blanket to take a nap. It was now just you and Tom sitting in yet another awkward silence. You were sitting in the chair next to his bed, making sure you were there if he needed you for anything. Tom was sitting across from you in another chair, watching you interact with your son. He noticed you visibly shiver in your thin, short sleeved shirt, rubbing your arms to try and warm yourself up.

“Are you cold?” Tom asked, almost rhetorically as he pulled off his own jacket and wrapped the material around your shivering frame.

“Thank you, I-I was in such a rush when I left, that I guess I forgot.” He nodded, flashing you a tight lipped, awkward smile. The tension in the air was uncomfortable, neither of you really daring to speak up.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” he said, his eyes filled with regret. You tried to tell him it was fine, but you could feel your emotions rising in your throat, making it harder to keep them down.

He could see you breaking down inside just through your eyes, and he didn’t know how long you’d been holding this in. You took a glance at Theo to make sure he was asleep before looking back to your ex-lover.

“Fuck Tom, I was a mess, I-I had to call my mum and ask her to sort the house for me,” you cried, burying your head in your hands. His heart broke, a mental debate going on in his head about whether he should go over there to comfort you or stay sitting in his chair across from you.

He definitely didn’t want to make you uncomfortable with his presence but he also hated seeing you cry like this.

He eventually decided to help, coming over and wrapping his arms around you timidly. He was shocked when you curled into his chest, tightening his hold on you and running his hand over your hair. To make it easier for you both, you switched places. Tom letting you curl up into his lap on the chair.

“Shh, it’s okay, he’s okay,” he said. He didn’t know if he was convincing you or himself though. His voice was calming to you, somehow bringing your tears to a slow stop as he whispered sweet words to you. Just being like this with him reminded you of all the times you’d spent together dating, normally in more positive circumstances than this.

“Why don’t I call my mum or someone, have her come here and watch him, and I’ll take you home for a little bit.” You nodded your head gratefully, tucking your face into his neck as he pulled out his phone.

The phone call between Nikki and her son was rather quick, the woman agreeing to come and watch Theo with no hesitation, especially after Tom had explained the whole hospital situation that only made you tear up again.

“Thank you,” you whimpered quietly. He nodded his head, kissing your temple lightly.

“Of course.”

You were still sitting in his lap with Tom rubbing his hand up and down your back when Nikki walked in, not even half an hour later.

“Hello,” she greeted, trying to hide her grin at the scene in front of her. If you weren’t going to fall back in love like she’d hoped, at least you were on talking terms.

“Thank you for doing this,” you said, getting up to wrap her in a tight hug. She told you that it was no problem, ushering you both out, making a playful comment that you smelled bad. You scoffed, feigning offense, even if you knew she was partially right.

Tom drove you home in your car, back to the home the two of you once shared together. It was silent on the way there, not even the radio turned on for just some form of noise. It was quite emotional for Tom walking back inside the house, looking around and seeing everything was pretty much identical to how it was when he left. His mind replaying all the memories you both shared in different places all over the house.

“Do you want anything?” you asked. He simply asked for a glass of water and you nodded, heading over to the kitchen. It made you frown slightly, remembering what had happened here only the day before. You quickly filled up the glass and then headed back to where Tom was standing, admiring the living room with a tiny grin.

“Why are you smiling?” you asked. He turned his head in your direction, not even realising he had been smiling, shrugging his shoulders slightly.

“I don’t really know, i-it just hasn’t changed,” he said. You could still see traces of a grin as you handed him a glass of water, telling him you were going to take a quick shower.

“Make yourself comfortable,” you said, heading up the stairs to finally have a moment to yourself for the first time in two days.

You didn’t take very long. Taking a quick shower like you said and then drying your hair so you didn’t catch a cold in the winter weather. You got Theo’s stuffed bear that he sleeps with, his blanket and then some new pyjamas for him and you were ready to head back.

“Got everything?” he asked. You nodded, handing him the bear and taking the car keys from him.

“I want to drive,” you stated. You didn’t really know why, but a part of you just wanted to. Tom didn’t argue with you, following you out to the car and climbing into the passenger side.

There was a brief conversation this time around, however still not much, the silence filled with more awkward tension.

“Is this the bear I got him when he was born?” he asked, playing with the small piece of ribbon that was tied around its neck.

“Yeah, he loves it,” you told him. You noticed him wipe away a stray tear that ran down his cheek, making your heart pang in your chest. You reached over the console of the car with your hand, lacing your fingers with his while keeping your eyes on the road. His eyes widened and he stared at you, heart filled with hope, your eyes never glancing over in his direction.

It felt like Deja-vu arriving back at the hospital, except this time you knew where you were going. You entered the room to Nikki sitting quietly beside your still sleeping son, a smile spreading across her face, the woman noting how much better you looked already.

“I should start heading home.” She gave you another tight hug, Tom offering to walk her out because of the now darkened night sky. You bid her a simple goodbye, waiting until they were out of your sight to head over to your boy.

So while Tom went to take his mum to her car, you planned on giving Theo his bear, gently cooing to wake him up.

“Mummy?” he asked groggily. You smiled, handing him his bear and kissing his head.

“You can go back to sleep now, bub.” He hummed, nuzzling his head into the soft fur of the stuffed animal. You also placed the soft blanket over top of him, knowing the thin hospital sheet did little to keep him warm.

“Thank you.” He whispered, adding a quiet goodnight that made your heart swell.

“Goodnight sweetheart.”

                                                       <<<>>>

The next morning, you were informed by his nurse that Theo needed blood tests and some other evaluations to check everything was okay. You knew it was going to be a long day for the four year old so you tried your best to plan out in your head where he could take quick naps in between his check-ups to keep him energized enough.

He didn’t seem fazed by the information when you told him, having no negative experience to relate to having any kind of needle; at least not that he can remember.

Unfortunately for him though, the blood tests were first, meaning he was going to have to deal with a sore arm all day.

The three of you were guided by a nurse to a small office, one with all different kinds of confusing machines that you didn’t know about.

You helped Theo up onto the examination table, still standing close by.

“Mummy?” he asked, his big brown eyes staring up at you nervously.

“Yeah, bub?” you asked, kneeling down so you were just a bit lower than him sitting on the table.

“Can I sit in your lap?” he asked, nervously fidgeting with his hands..

After checking with the nurse, you nodded your head. “Of course you can, come here.” You helped him climb into your lap, sitting with his back against your chest and your arms around his stomach. Tom stayed near the door, ready to leave if it got too much for him; he never was very good with needles, or seeing Theo cry.

The woman explained to Theo that she was just taking blood for them to examine and find out what was wrong. He nodded his head enthusiastically, ready to let her do what she needed.

She prepared what she needed while Tom nervously bit at his nails, seeing the reassuring smile you sent his way.

“This is going to hurt a little bit buddy,” she said, finally pressing the needle to the vein in his skin. Tom winced even before Theo did. The boy clearly hated the feeling, beginning to cry softly from the pain of the syringe in his arm.

You saw Tom struggling in the corner, tears welling up in his own eyes as he watched his son squirm in pain.

“You’re okay, bub,” you whispered reassuringly, kissing his head and his cheek, trying to calm him down enough for the woman to take the blood safely. When she’d gotten what she needed she took the needle out, cleaning up his skin and letting him choose a themed plaster.

“Which one would you like?” she asked, showing him his options. His eyes widened and any trace of sadness was gone, pointing straight to the blue and red masked figure.

“Can I have a Spiderman one, please?” he asked. You giggled, seeing her nod her head. She gently flattened it over his skin, making sure it was properly stuck down.

“You can go back to your room, we’ll run some tests and then we’ll be with you as soon as we can.” She informed you both. You nodded your head, helping him off your lap and letting him take Tom’s still sweaty hand.

“Hey, Theo,” you cooed, bending down to his height. He looked at you with a small smile, letting you wipe the drying tears from his face. “That wasn’t so bad was it?” you asked. He shook his head, showing you his plaster again.

“ ‘Cause I’m a big boy, mummy.” You smiled, nodding your head.

“And, you’re just as strong as Spider-Man,”

you whispered.

“And Hulk?” he asked in a tiny voice.

“Even stronger than Hulk,” you confirmed. He giggled, letting go of his dad’s hand to wrap his arms around your neck, being careful of his sore one. You rubbed his back, continuing to praise him for how good he was. You didn’t notice how Tom was staring at you with complete adoration. His heart was melting seeing you interact with your son like this, having gone without witnessing it in person for a while.

He ran back to Tom, gripping his hand and showing off his Spider-Man band aid to his dad proudly. You smiled, shaking your head, following behind them as they walked back to his room.

He was already used to the routine by now, running to his bed when you all entered the room.

“Okay bud, we’ve got a couple hours until they do some more testing, d ’you wanna take a nap or watch a film with me and daddy?” He sat quietly as he thought about it, his eyebrows furrowing in concentration so he could make the right choice.

“Can we watch Iron man?” he asked. You nodded your head, knowing that was one of Tom’s favourites as well and he’d be more than happy to agree. He jumped down, clinging to you while Tom set up the film on his computer.

You grabbed the fluffy blanket you’d brought the day prior, throwing it over your laps to help you get comfortable enough to watch the two hour film. He cheered quietly when it started, being scooped up into Tom’s lap so the two could quietly talk about it, something that had always annoyed you.

You knew it was going to happen, barely even halfway through the movie Theo had started to fall asleep in Tom’s lap, his head resting on his chest. His head kept falling, making him snap his eyes awake and pretend as if he was still watching the film playing on the laptop.

You giggled, trying to tame his messy hair with your fingers.

Tom eventually placed his large hand on Theo’s head, basically smushing his cheek against his chest, softly stroking his bedhead, helping to keep him in place so he could fall asleep. His other arm was around his back, making sure he didn’t fall backwards off his leg.

“He’s missed you.” you said after a while, catching Tom’s attention, forcing him to move his eyes off his sleeping son to look at you. He smiled, kissing the top of his head.

“I missed him too,” he admitted. You and Tom watched as much as you could of the film, checking the time every so often.

Fifteen minutes before his next set of tests were due to start, Tom gently cooed the boy awake, with soft whispers and kisses to his head. He whined, trying to hide his face and fall back to sleep.

“No, no, you’ve got to wake up bub,” he said. Theo begrudgingly opened his eyes, lifting his hand to rub the sleep from them and look at his surroundings.

“ ‘m tired.” You pouted at him, leaning forward to try and tame his messy curls.

“I know, but you can take another nap later.”

The rest of the day dragged on for the boy. He was practically a zombie by the time he was finally able to go to bed, even with the frequent naps.

You had once again taken the seat beside his bed, running your fingers through his messy hair to try and soothe him to sleep quicker.

He was out like a light in minutes, cuddling even deeper into the pillow.

You let out a sigh, slowly moving away from him to lean back in the chair, realising just how uncomfortable you were. Your constant shifting caught Tom’s attention, his gaze burning holes through you, making your face flush.

You noticed Tom trying to keep his eyes open, looking like a little puppy every time he’d slowly shake his head, trying to shake away the impending sleep.

“Hey.” you whispered, catching his attention, again. “Why don’t you get some sleep?”

He shook his head, assuring you he was fine. You rolled your eyes at his blatant stubbornness, remembering this is how he’d always been.

“Why are you so stubborn?” you asked, not meaning for it to come out of your mouth sounding so vicious.

“I wanna stay and talk to you.” You were convinced your heart had stopped beating. You cocked your head in confusion.

“You do?” you asked. He nodded his head, a small smile on his lips as he watched you get over the initial shock you were in.

“Well, what do you want to talk about?” His smile faded, worry forming in the pit of your stomach.

“C-can we talk about us?” he asked, his voice sounding just as unconvincing as his body language looked. You took pity on him, slipping your hand into his, the one that was resting in his lap.

“I guess, but what is there to talk about?” Tom seemed defeated already by your unenthusiastic answer, it sounded to him like you didn’t want this, but after seeing you again yesterday, he was determined to win you back.

“I never really apologized for everything I did,” he said. “I was a dick, and then I just left you both.” You’d spent months hating Tom for him just leaving you with a toddler, but looking at his face now, you could tell he felt awful.

“I want to do better, be a better dad-“ You cut him off, shaking your head.

“You’re an amazing dad.” You saw the hint of a smile when your words registered in his head.

“I want to be better to you, Y/N.” You froze, staring into those brown eyes, trying to see if he meant it. “I’m so, so, sorry, for everything I did,” he whispered.

Over the course of his apology he had managed to shuffle closer to you. Your knees now touched, preventing him from coming any further forward.

“Do you ever think you could give me another chance?” he asked, almost scared to know the answer. You took a deep breath, squeezing his hand.

“Only if you can promise me one thing.” You explained. Tom’s eyes widened, his heart beginning to race.

“Anything,” he mumbled, fully prepared to dedicate himself to you and your child.

“Please come home.” It wasn’t a difficult decision for time this time around like it was the first time. As soon as he saw your puppy dog eyes, he was sold. He rapidly nodded his head, making a mental note to deal with work later.

He reached his hand up, cupping your cheek, seeing you nuzzle your face closer to his touch. You placed your own hand on top of his, turning your head to place a quick kiss on his palm.

“I know i fucked up, big time,” he reiterated, emphasising the big time and pausing for a minute, rubbing his free hand over his mouth. You watched him intently, the thing that was probably making him most nervous.

“But, do you think we could try again?” Your silence scared him. He didn’t know if he’d ever been this worried to hear an answer from someone.

“Yeah, I think we could give it a go.” Tom grinned, his cheeks flushing a light pink shade. He couldn’t wait a second longer, leaning in to press his lips onto yours. The kiss was perfect. Slow, passionate, everything you’d missed since you’d broken up. “But you’re going to have to prove you’re sorry,” you said.

“I’ll do whatever it takes,” he promised. “I’m really glad to have you back,” he whispered, his forehead leaning on yours and his hand massaging the back of your head. Part of you was screaming that you shouldn’t have taken him back that quickly, but the other part of you had been waiting for him for two years, and you were so happy to have him back.

“Me too.” The moment wasn’t very long lived

after you heard the blankets on the hospital bed rustle, turning your head to see Theo pushing himself into a sitting position. “I think someone else will be too.”

The little boy stared at you both in confusion, not understanding what you were referring to, or why you were suddenly so close again.

“C’mere buddy,” Tom said, motioning for Theo to climb into his arms. The boy climbed down from the bed with minimal struggle, running towards Tom and colliding with him with a loud giggle. Tom made a grunting noise, whining about how strong Theo was and how that hurt.

The boy just laughed at his dad, telling him to stop being silly.

“Do you want to tell him?” Tom asked. You shook your head, flashing him a smile.

“You got this,” you said. Theo looked between you both confused, having no idea what you were talking about, but the nosey part of him really wanted to know. Tom grabbed the boy’s full attention.

“So, daddy’s going to be coming home, is that okay with you?” His eyes widened, his head whipping in your direction, silently asking if it was true. You nodded, your heart melting as tears welled up in his brown eyes.

“Hey, don’t cry,” Tom cooed, rubbing his back as he buried his head in his dad’s chest. He glanced at you, unsure what to do in this situation.

“He’s just happy.” Theo nodded, agreeing with what you said.

“Things are finally going to go back to normal.” You chose not to mention anything about a possible diagnosis with Theo, something that would be far from normal, instead just choosing to soak up the moment, rather than burst your bubble and ruin it.

“Thank you,” you whispered, watching as Tom’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“For what?” You smiled, kissing his cheek and leaning your head on his shoulder.

“For coming home.” He chuckled, kissing his son’s head and then yours.

“You two are my home, no matter where I am.”

                                                         <<<>>>

The morning that the doctors announced they had Theo’s results were nerve wracking to say the least. You were panicking almost all day, knee bouncing, driving Tom insane, your hands shaking out of fear. Tom tried to calm you down to the best of his ability, telling you to take deep breaths, holding you or just your hands and constantly trying to reassure you that you needed to be positive. If not for your own sake, at least for Theo’s.

The boy himself had no idea what was happening, he was just happy to be in his mother’s arms more than he usually was, purely because you refused to let go of him.

“Y/N, you have to put him down,” Tom said, trying to pry the boy from your arms. You pouted, scowling at Tom as he took Theo away from you.

“I’m only taking him to the bathroom, we’ll be right back,” he promised, softly kissing your lips before taking him out of the room. You sat down on the hospital bed with a sigh, picking up his teddy and beginning to fiddle with the ribbon tied into a bow around its neck.

You were too in your own head, thinking, to notice Tom come back. You jumped when his hands slid onto your shoulders, turning your head to see his sympathetic expression.

“I know this is hard, but please, just for him,” you nodded, trying your best to put on a brave face for him.

You spent the next few hours watching one of Theo’s favourite cartoons, one you’d seen a million times before, the time seeming to pass by ridiculously slowly for you. Tom was laughing along to the children’s show, making you roll your eyes and cuddle closer to him. It wasn’t until halfway through, possibly the thousandth episode, that the nurse finally entered the room, saving you the torture of having to watch another episode of the cartoon again.

“We’re ready for you,” she smiled. Tom instructed you to take a few deep breaths.

They led the three of you to an office to discuss, letting you take a seat and having Theo sitting comfortably in his dad’s lap.

It felt like you were in there for hours. You knew you should’ve been listening to what they were saying but you couldn’t concentrate at all.

You were pretty sure the woman had started by explaining the reason Theo had fainted and reacted like he did a few days prior. Everything was falling on deaf ears to you, just sounding like muffled noise coming from another room.

Tom was nodding along with what she was saying, asking the occasional question that let you know that at least he was listening. Your four year old was playing with the loose strings of Tom’s hoodie, wrapping them around his fingers and trying to make them curl. It was unfortunately the only thing he had to amuse him right now. Tom hadn’t noticed you weren’t listening, or that your eyes were focusing on your baby boy.

Theo noticed though, turning to you and flashing you a gappy smile that in return made you smile.

It felt like your heart was pounding but simultaneously wasn’t even beating, in this moment you were too scared to.

They’d obviously brought up something about the test results, Tom suddenly reaching over to take a hold of your hand, kissing the top of Theo’s head for comfort.

Tom’s sweaty hand was gripping yours like a vice, you were glad that he was here and he’d flown in, because if it was bad news, you don’t think you could do it alone.

Your mind went blank, not registering any medical words she said until you recognised the two words that made your heart begin to beat again.

“He’s okay.”

You let out a breath of relief, turning to Tom with a grin. He wrapped his arms around you, giving you a quick hug before showering the little boy in kisses.

You carefully lifted him from Tom’s lap, taking him in your arms to give him the tightest hug you could muster. The doctor explained that you were then free to go, letting you go back to collect your baby's stuff and tell him the good news.

“I hope we never have to do this again,” you mumbled, laying your head on Tom’s chest. His hand came up to run over the back of your head, placing a gentle kiss on your crown. 

“Me too, but look on the Brightside,” he said, a smile tugging at his lips, “We got our family back.”

You smiled softly, nodding your head against his chest. “Yeah, I guess we did.” You and Tom both turned your heads to look at your energetic baby boy, happy to finally be allowed to take him home again.

“Are you ready to go home, bub?” you asked. You saw his eyes light up, his head nodding rapidly as he clutched your hand. He grabbed his teddy bear, leaving you and Tom grabbed the rest of his stuff.

The three of you left the hospital for what was hopefully the last time. Theo practically skipped to the car, telling you both how excited he was to sleep in his own bed again. Your heart was warm as you looked at your little family, completely over the moon to have them back.

The first thing Theo did when he got home was rush upstairs to his room, telling you he was going to take a nap in his own bed. You shook your head with a smile, feeling Tom’s arms wrap around you. He guided you to the couch, throwing his arm around your shoulders. He started to look around again like he had the other day, taking it all in.

“It feels really good to be home.” You grinned at him, practically attacking him with a sweet kiss. He laughed, letting you pin him down on the couch playfully. “I still can’t believe I gave this up, he said, pushing a few strands of loose hair behind your ears.

“Don’t think about it now, okay?” He nodded, straining his neck to kiss you again.

“Mummy, daddy?” Your head perked up at the sound of the little voice, turning your head to see him coming down the stairs. You climbed off of Tom, giving him the opportunity to sit up.

“I thought you were taking a nap bub?” He pouted, clutching his bear to his chest.

“Will you come with me, just until I fall asleep?” You nodded your head, not giving Tom a chance to answer before you were tugging him with you. Tom scooped him up, carrying the tired baby in his arms.

“Why don’t we get in Mummy and Daddy’s bed,” you said. Tom tried to conceal his smile at what you’d called it, happy you were so ready for things to go back to how they were.

Theo climbed in your bed first, laying right in the middle with a sleepy grin. You got in after, watching Tom stop to take in how much the room had changed.

“I pretty much got rid of everything that reminded me of you,” you explained. He frowned, nodding his head and climbing under the covers of the bed. “ ‘m sorry,” you said.

He shook his head, grabbed your hand to press a soft kiss to your knuckles.

“I deserved it,” you giggled, nodding your head. Your eyes were locked on each other.

“You kind of did.” Theo made a sound of disapproval between you both, trying to get you attention to be on him.

“Sorry bub, were we not paying attention to you?” He shook his head, laying it on your chest just under your chin. You smiled, your heart melting at his affection.

“Goodnight angel,” you whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to his head. He curled deeper into your chest, a smile spreading across your face.

“Goodnight, little man.” Tom gently ran his hand over the back of Theo’s head, earning a hum in response from the boy.

“You know,” you started, keeping your voice quiet so the boy could sleep, “I’m pretty tired too.” You yawned. Tom threw his arm over you both, letting you rest your head on his shoulder, keeping Theo tucked securely between you two.

He chuckled at your sudden sleepiness, lifting his hand to run through your hair, gently massaging your scalp.

“If you keep doing that I’m going to fall asleep.” You tried to bite back your smile, feeling him shrug his shoulders playfully.

“S’okay, go to sleep.” He smiled, nuzzling his nose into the top of your head.

“Will you be here when we wake up?” you asked, sounding like a scared child.

“I’ll always be here, now and forever baby.”

tom holland taglist - @seutarose @lmaotshollandd @photoshopart15 @hopelessly-harry @drie-the-derp @bvttercupbby​ @call-me-baby-gir1 @fallinfortom @iwearheadphones @kerrswriting @geminiparkers @blossomparkers @siriuslyslyslytherin​ @musicalkeys​ @itstaskeen​ @icyhollands​ @tpwk-grande​ @zspideyy​ @chrisosterfield​ @starkweasley @givebuckyhisplumsnow​ @lowkey-holland​ @hollandcrush​ @wizkiddx​ @sannie-san-shine​ @sonnydoesrandomshit​

[tipsydipsydo]

Birthday Gift [M] 

Pairing: octopus hybrid! Jimin x human! Reader x octopus hybrid! Seokjin

Gender of the Reader: female

Word Count: 1.2k 

Rating: 18+

Genre: Smut/PwP

Warnings: Dirty Language + Dirty Talk; Sex Toys; Masturbation; Double Penetration; Anal play; Oral (f.); Exhibitionism + Voyeurism; slight Overstimulation; Strength-/Power-Play; Praising; Petnames; Orgasm Denial; Teasing; Edging; Tentacle-Play; Jimin has a tentacle tongue...

A/N: Finally it’s done! That’s my sweet and short Birthday-Gift for my dear friend @breadoffoxy and I hope you like it Baby~ I’m so sorry that it took me so long!! But I’ve finally written it and I really hope that I ruined you at least a little with it!

Status: unedited

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「© tipsydipsydo」

This following story is my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!

I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!

That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.

Thank you.

Within a single second your whole face, your ears and even your neck burns in the color of beet red and you have some struggles to gulp properly. Quickly you turn the package around and put the ripped wrapper over it, looking around in your silent and empty apartment. Even though you alone at home and Jimin is already at work... you’re panicking that someone would see you with such an obscene object, too embarrassed to even look at it. You literally expected everything... just not that. Not such a gift with such a comment in the card he wrote. 

Today is your birthday and you was more than exited to know what your Boyfriend Jimin got you for your first shared birthday, especially after he teased you for weeks with subtle hints. The little comments he dropped here and there made you with every new day more curious but you couldn’t connect the details with another. At the end of the day you didn’t knew anything new except the fact you’d die out of curiosity before your birthday arrive.

Now ‘the day’ of all days finally arrived and you are flustered beyond belief, in fact a little mortified somehow. Despite all of the shame you sense, there is arousal pooling between your legs. You can’t resist the urge to pull the damaged wrapper away and to look at your gift once again. Almost automatically your front teeth are gnawing on your bottom lip and the slowly growing ball of lust makes itself noticeable in the pit of your stomach. Yeah, Jimin makes definitely sure you’ll enjoy yourself and keep your needs satisfied. 

In front of you, on the surface of the table lays a new tentacle dildo which is still wrapped in the hygiene plastic bag. It’s a little bigger than the one you already own and has a slightly different coloring. Your boyfriend knows how much you love that toy, integrated it more than once in a play session and learned quickly how to use it to drive you completely insane. One time you quietly mentioned that you wish you’d have the money to purchase a second dildo of this type... you have a weak spot for double penetration and the unique texture of the toy made you almost addicted to it. 

‘Happy birthday, my Darling! 

I hope you enjoy your day off and that you like the first gift I’ve got you for your birthday~ ;) 

I’d love to see you using the toy and his sibling when I come home from work... would you do that for me? It’s essential for the next presents I’ve organized for you. 

Love, Jimin’ 

Oh god... you don’t even dare to imagine what Jimin have planned for you, it sounds so delicious yet so unholy and sinful. You have no Idea how you’ll survive the night after he gave you those instructions. 

~ 

You’re so lost in your own pleasure that you didn’t even noticed that someone arrived and opened the front door, let alone that two figures are now standing in the door frame of the bedroom and watches you silently. 

The suction base of the smaller dildo is attached to the flat plastic panel you’ve bought some time ago to be able to use this toy without hands in bed as well. The length of the tentacle dildo is completely buried in your cute ass, your stretched out rim gripping the girth firmly and hold the toy in place. It’s so deep in you that your ass cheeks almost reaches the plastic surface, your feet and your back on the wall are supporting your body weight. 

Your birthday gift, the new and bigger tentacle, plunges into your tight pussy in a rapid pace and causes such beautiful and delicious squelching noises... so nasty and filthy. The big toy stretches you so wide open, up to the point that you are sure your pussyhole would gape if you’d take it out. Your arms are aching from the weight of the toy and the strength you have to put into the thrusts to make the friction really pleasurable. But all of this doesn’t stop you to pushes your own limits, this feeling of getting stuffed so fucking full with tentacle turns your brain to mush. You can’t think properly anymore, the only thought in your ruined brain is about cumming on these dildos so often until you pass out. 

“Oh Babygirl... I see, you followed my instructions like I said. Hmm, such a good girl you are for me. I think you’ve earned a reward, don’t you?”

Jimin’s teasing voice and his chuckles let you snap out of your lost thoughts, your eyes widen at the sight of Seokjin besides him. The taller man leans with crossed arms against the opposite of the door frame and smiles devilishly at you. His eyes are dark and full of lust and the thin fabric of his chinos aren’t hiding anything of his hard and aching boner. He’s showing you in a shameless manner what your little unintentional show did to him.

“Sweetheart, you can’t imagine how happy I was the moment I found out about your tentacle dildo... there are a few things I was worried to tell you about. You need to know, Seokjin and I are a little different to... normal humans. We have special abilities and features... we both are octopus! Hybrids. Besides our normal human limbs we own four other octopus arms and if we want to, we can show them off. What about we show them to you and make you feel even better with them? I’ll only accept those silicone tentacles for foreplay and self-pleasure now, is that clear? Now, get off of those toys and let us make you cum until you can’t scream anymore...”

You’re only able to nod, trying to process all of this with your mouth agape but they even let you collect one single logical thought. Pulling the toys out of you and remove the panel completely, Seokjin takes the place behind you instead. Then you can already feel very realistic, slippery tentacles wrapping themself around your thighs, opening your legs even further and holding you with a tight grip in your place. 

Jimin goes on his knees between your legs, eyes sparkling brightly in a color you’ve never seen before and his lips opens in a smirk. His tongue pokes out, only the form of the muscle reminds you of a human body part. The texture is completely different, has now a bumpy structure but looks kinda similar to Seokjin’s tentacles... slowly the certitude sinks in. It’s the fifth limb, one of Jimin’s tentacles. 

“I know how much you love to have my tongue between your legs, you have such an insatiable oral fixation, don’t you? What about we combine these two things with each other, getting tongue-fucked by my tentacle... hm? Spread those swollen pussy lips for me and show me how your greedy, gaping hole clenches around nothing. Expose your pussy for me.” 

These are the last words before Jimin drowned himself between your legs. 

[morgana-ren]

You bite your lip as Astarion approaches, his attempt to be casual somehow just makes him a little more unnatural, seems to make the arrogant swagger a little more pronounced.

“Hello darling,” He licks his lips, eyes running up and down your body slowly. “Don’t you look a tasty treat this evening.”

You try to ignore the blush that brings to your face, your pulse already racing at being alone with him. He sits down on the dry tree stump, giving you a slightly crooked smile as he gestures you forward. Despite the concerns of your group about the amount of time you spent with him, about the amount of influence they believed he had over you, letting Astarion feed from you made you feel good. He was a part of your team, you couldn’t just let him starve.

 

You had thought at first that he was lying to you when he asked if he could drink from you regularly, manipulating you for some unknown reason in order to… you’re not sure exactly. Keep you weak? Vulnerable? You were a team though and you were the main linchpin in your group, the leader. Having you defenceless would be more self-sabotaging than not.

Then as his requests, demands, increased to every day you started to feel more reluctant. Refusing completely until an attack had left you and Gale pretty badly injured, Astarion unable to help as he hadn’t fed in a while, was too weak to help you put up a fight. It had provoked a pretty serious argument after you had all limped back to camp, until he gently reminded you that “you have to eat every day, don’t you darling? So do I.”

You’d felt bad then. Guilt gnawing at you until you agreed to let him drink every other day, despite your companion’s objections. Even then it felt too much, feeling light headed, disoriented more often than not. But his gratefulness, his praise, the admiration that he cooed into your ear after every meal made it feel more than worth it. Even when he drank perhaps a mouthful too much he was incredibly apologetic and remorseful. Looking after you, bringing you food and water, being a constant protective presence over you the next day and keeping your companions at a suitable distance so you could rest. Letting you rely on him until you could hold your sword straight and could fight once more.

“I’m not used to such delicacies as you my love, not after surviving on bugs and vermin.” He shudders, eyes sad and distant, his mouth always in a slight pout until you reach forward and caress his cheek, reassuring him it’s ok.

 

 

“Darling?” His bemused call breaks you from your reverie. Watching you so intently as you approach that it sends a shiver of apprehension down your spine. You walk up to stand in front of him cautiously, and he pats his knee. You miss the annoyed frown that flickers across his face as you hesitate.

“I can go hunting if you don’t want to help me darling,” he grasps your hands, bringing them to his lips to press a gentle kiss to your fingers. You shake your head, and he smiles, tugging your hands until you turn around and sit on his lap, your back to his chest.

“I appreciate this, I appreciate you.” His mouth is suddenly very close to your ear, his nose brushing along your neck as his fangs just barely scrape over the skin.

You flinch at the sensation and make a noise akin to a whimper that has his fingers flexing hard into your hip.

“Not too much alright? Wyll thinks-”

He cuts you off with a small hum, body tensing beneath you. His hands drifting under your shirt and across your ribs, his fingers dancing across the underside of your breasts. “It doesn’t matter what Wyll thinks does it?” His thumb brushes over your nipple and you whine.  “We know what we’re doing don’t we? I know how much you can handle.”

His touch is starting to cloud your mind a little, starting to lose yourself already to the aroused haze he always seems to provoke in you whenever he gets too close, and you nod, a little confused.

“I know don’t I?” he whispers. You can’t remember what he knows. You’re trying hard not to move, to not grind yourself against his thigh, you’re already wet and way more turned on than you want to be.

“Yes.” You’re not sure what else to say, but it seems to be the answer he’s looking for as he relaxes.

“Are you ready?” he asks, and your whole body shivers.

He doesn’t wait for your consent; his mouth closing over your throat in a gentle sucking kiss before his fangs press deep. You immediately arch into his hold, a ragged moan escaping your throat as he loops one arm tight around your waist to hold you flush again him, the other sliding into your hair, his fingers curling painfully as he pulls your head to the side.

He chuckles as he drinks, your intense reaction to his bite still amusing him as much as the first time.

You reach back to grip his hair and he lets you, but as you tug he bites harder, driving his fangs deeper as a warning until you give a cry of genuine pain and release your hold. He doesn’t always let you touch him, and if you do so without his permission he has no qualms about reminding you of your place.

He grunts as you try to grind down against him, the feel of his cock hard against your back making you moan. His hand slips down the front of your pants and you’re as grateful as ever that he insists on feeding away from camp as you thrust clumsily against his hand, two slender fingers slipping inside you easily.

You hiss as he swallows deep and he pulls away, nails scratching across your scalp soothingly as his tongue laps hotly at the wound in your neck. ‘Too much?”

Your attempted nod is uncoordinated and makes your head spin. He sighs, the hint of disappointment in it stings. “Just a little more darling, I thought you could handle this,” he presses his thumb a little harder against your clit, making you jolt. “Just a little more?”

His fingers thrust harder between your legs and you whine, so close to orgasm that you can’t focus on what he’s saying.

“Aren’t I making you feel good? Where’s my thank you, hmmm?” He nuzzles into your neck, breathing deep as his tongue flicks across the still oozing wound. “Don’t you want me to feel good too?”

You do, you want that, but, but? You can’t think, something about Wyll and -- Astarion’s soft murmur of your name draws your attention back to him. A third finger pushes inside you and suddenly nothing else matters, you just want him. The thank you’s slipping from your lips repeatedly as he continues fucking you with his hand. He doesn’t always indulge you, doesn’t always touch you like you want, like you need, but when he does he makes sure you tell him how grateful you are.

“Mine, aren’t you pet?” he presses a flutter of gentle kisses over your bare shoulder. “Such a well trained little pup.”

A brush of his lips over the sensitive skin of your neck has your heart skipping a beat before his fangs sink in and for a moment nothing exists outside the circle of his arms. the overwhelming pleasure as you finally reach your peak draws a strangled cry of his name from your throat, intensified by the black spots that are starting to dot over your vision as he swallows greedily.

 

 I'm usually a 'kitten' person but Astarion calling you a 'cheeky pup' if you convince him to say 'please' before his sex scene just hits different!

Oh! Simply divine! The manipulation, the fine edged cruelty, that subtle but firm hand of ownership- Love it. Absolutely love it.

Falling steadily down that slope until he shoves you off the cliff entire and there's no return from the pit. Sensing the impending danger and doom but just totally powerless against him to stop it. Falling easily into his arms despite it being quite possibly the worst place for you to seek comfort. Literally ridding yourself of one danger only to walk directly behind and follow another.

I do not care what anyone says. This man is capable of insane amounts of possessor/pet potential and I am feral for it. Gods, this man will be the absolute death of me, I just know it.

This was absolutely wonderful! Thank you so so much for allowing me to read and share it!

[kodzumie-archived]

can i please get a nsfw yandere nagito with a fem or gn s/o that involves overstimulation/multiple orgasms? i love ur writing so far 💖💕💗💓 tysm

❝COVETOUSNESS❞

Synopsis; Humans are selfish to their very core; their fundamentals. Yet is he truly selfish if he merely wants to serve you?

Featuring; Nagito Komaeda x Fem! Reader

Warning(s); Yandere themes, nonconsensual, sacrilege, breaking and entering, somnophilia, fingering, cunnilingus, vaginal penetration, unprotected sex, mentions of feeling like vomiting (distress), overstimulation, and hintings of forced pregnancy.

Kodzumie’s Note; Thank you for your support and kind words! Though I sincerely apologize if this isn’t what you had in mind when requesting. This piece turned out very dark and included a lot of triggering topics. If you don’t like how it turned out, please tell me! I’ll rewrite it just for you, love. Take care of yourself, okay? Muah <3

➤ NAGITO KOMAEDA

⤷ Humans—to their very core—are selfish. They yearn for what they can’t attain; for what they shouldn’t possess. Human instinct is derived from bitter selfishness, a desire to take, take, take until they’ve withdrawn everything.

⤷ No matter Nagito’s constant resistance of such instincts, even he succumbs. Selfishness—uncontrollable avarice—is merely the fundamentals of humanity’s existence.

⤷ Despite how pitifully minor Nagito views his worth to be; how little he views his purpose to be; he’s still human.

⤷ And with being human comes an animalistic drive. An uncontainable urge to tear into all that he yearns, to take what it is he lusts after.

⤷ Even as months pass, his livid attempts to suppress the temptations and submit himself under your guide; your hope; your will. He swears to himself that he merely wants to serve you.

⤷ His disillusionment riddled with fixation leads his mind astray, and perhaps that’s why he found himself perched outside your bedroom window, peering in through the crack of your curtain.

⤷ He’s aware that someone as worthless as him shouldn’t dare think of tainting your ethereal, divine figure with his touch. But his delusional ideals muddle his thoughts until he, himself, compromises to string along his yearning as well as his allegiance towards you.

⤷ It’s a complicated urge; a lustful temptation fueled by his innermost greed. Yet isn’t this another way to serve you? To bring forth your pleasure and watch you squirm in ecstasy? Isn’t this what it means to serve?

⤷ Too far gone within his ambitions of pleasing his beloved hope—his god—his fingers trail along the underside of your bedroom window, tracing over the sill with his fingertips.

⤷ Yes, yes. The desire to ensure your pleasure was nothing more than his strive to serve you. Even as he knew someone scum like him have no business laying their grimy touch upon you, his fundamental, humanistic avarice distorted his belief; it’s not about his pleasure, it’s about yours.

⤷ Thus he repeated these words within the feverish, compulsive capsule of his mind as he tugged at the window, gently as to not disturb your rest; he wouldn’t dare want to bother you.

⤷ A click resonated within the nighttime air and Nagito’s lips curled to an eerie smile; just his luck, the window was left unlocked.

⤷ With a singular, fluid motion, Nagito managed to open the window to its fullest; granting himself entrance within your abode.

⤷ He almost didn’t enter, too far flustered at the fact that he was about to enter within the encompass of your heavenly presence; your sacred home. Surely trash like him wasn’t welcome within the personal realms of his beloved hope. But the endeavor of humanistic covetousness is not to be underestimated.

⤷ As he pushes through, entering with a reluctant hop, a thump echoes against the walls of your bedroom. Yet it seems that his luck was abundant that night, you hadn’t even stirred within your rest.

⤷ It was within that moment that Nagito’s breathing grew erratic; unstable. Huffing jagged breaths as he admired your sleeping form with an all-too-prominent blush coating his cheeks.

⤷ You appeared so delicate from within this close—no, intimate—proximity. Having spent months watching you from meters distance, this length felt almost forbidden; sinful.

⤷ It’s evident as though being this close to you was sinful itself. He knew all too well that scum like him shouldn’t dare approach you; shouldn’t dare go near; he wasn’t worthy of your divine presence. He knows, he knows, he knows.

⤷ Yet that doesn’t stop his footsteps as he hovers over you, taking a closer peek at your visage in which was doused with the indications of slumber.

⤷ He was mere feet away from you, and that thought alone sent blood to his already flushed cheeks and straight down to where his pants began to strain; an erotic euphoria bubbling within his gut as he released a giddy giggle.

⤷ There you were, there you were. As he gently brushed the back of his hand against your cheek, his knuckles nuzzling against the plush skin, he stuttered out a breathless moan. You were there, he could feel you.

⤷ And that realization—alone—was what cut the ropes; detaching Nagito from what was left of his morality as he climbed over your dormant body, straddling your hips.

⤷ Picking at the fruit of his desires, fingers clasping over the hem of your blanket, ready to reveal your heavenly figure to his ravishing eyes.

⤷ Nagito lost his external awareness, unable to decipher if the beating of his heart and the rapid, heavy breathing escaping his lips was even his own. Instead, his attention remained glued to you; to your divinity; to your ethereal, unconscious countenance.

⤷ It almost felt unreal, as though that very moment was nothing more than a merciless dream to torture his unattainable wishes and prove to him just how pathetic he was; how greedy scum like him can be.

⤷ But as he rocked his hips—grinding his clothed erection against your blanketed form—all his fears of this moment being nothing more than a dream had dispersed.

⤷ This pleasure was real. And it felt so, so imprudent. He should feel ashamed, and he did. He felt such an unfathomable amount of ignominy; his existence culminated to a mere disgrace.

⤷ Somewhere within his mind—somewhere tucked far within the depths of his disillusioned, fixated mind—he knows what he’s doing is wrong. He knows he doesn’t deserve to touch you like this. He knows putting his grimy hands on you is criminal. But his thoughts are clouded, and he no longer fucking cares.

⤷ The rocking of his hips jolts to a hault as he shakes his head, dismissing his own undeserving pleasure. This wasn’t about him, this was about you; relinquishing in your pleasure, fulfilling his role to serve you.

⤷ And thus, he discards your blanket, soaking in the sight of your body covered in nothing more than your pajamas. His already rosy cheeks flush further, sweat accumulating above his brow at your delicacy; your vulnerability. How cute.

⤷ As though your waist was a magnet, his hands instantly found themselves situated atop the exposed skin that managed to peek out from beneath your top.

⤷ A shudder wracked down Nagito’s spin, a shaky moan falling from between his lips as he gently squeezed the skin; familiarizing himself with your divinity. So soft, so delectable.

⤷ He found himself wanting to savor you; to treasure each moment through the means of time as he spends each mystical second hailing every centimeter of skin you bless his senses with. But it’s that damned ravishing instinct; his disgusting, filthy greed that persuades him to hasten.

⤷ Soon enough, his fingers find themselves curled around the hem of your pants, mentally preparing himself for the glory of tugging them down and witnessing the sacred grail of your panties. Though he hungrily awaited the heavenly domain the aforementioned panties kept hidden.

⤷ It was a swift motion, but he tried to be as careful as he could muster. You—his precious deity, his glorious god—were still asleep, after all.

⤷ At the sight of your panties, Nagito chewed his bottom lip with fervor as he suppressed a groan. This is real, this is real, this is real.

⤷ Caught in a state of delusion and pure, unhindered ecstasy, Nagito attempted to ground himself to reality—this was real, he was truly feeling upon your divinity—brushing the tips of his index and middle finger over your clothed slit. He could feel you; he could feel your slick through the thin fabric of your panties.

⤷ The feeling of your juices coating your panties, faintly dampening his fingers, had unraveled waves of heat to his cock. Your juices; your arousal.

⤷ Nothing could ever compare to the euphoria, the unhinged joy, he felt within that moment.

⤷ He could feel the hope you radiated in multitudes of waves. The intensity of your hope flustering him, dizzying him with adoration as he pants. A borderline maniacal cackle erupting from the back of his throat.

⤷ This was it! This was what a worthless scum such as himself was meant to do; his purpose! He was meant to appease you, his sole meaning in his pitiful, miserable, despair-filled existence was nothing more than that; to appease the beacon of hope that radiates amongst mankind, his beloved savior, his god.

⤷ His mind fogged with the brimmings of dazed insanity, he pounces; jumping the gun. Your panties sheltered your cunt no longer, exposing your most intimate parts to his ghost-green orbs; the same eyes that ravished the sight so hungrily, starved.

⤷ His tongue swiped over his bottom lip, salivating at the sight. Of course, every part of you was faultless; perfection personified. He should’ve known your pussy—drooling with your slick—was no exception.

⤷ The temptations, the urge, the bitter greed that was pitted within his too-far-gone devotions overwhelmed him.

⤷ It was a constant battle between his self-degradation and self-absorption. He wanted to ravage you; milk you of your nectar.

⤷ Yet he was caught in a cobweb of confliction. Scum like him didn’t deserve to taste your delicacy. Trash like him didn’t deserve to touch you so intimately.

⤷ He knew this. He knows, he knows, he knows, and yet he doesn’t stop. He can’t stop. Not as his tongue drags over your slit, lapping over your wet cunt and humming at your flavorful dew.

⤷ It was addictive; your taste. As though he wasn’t already high—face flushed, sweat-coated brows, and bleary mind—he now found himself encapsulated within his ever-growing fixation. His adoration—no, obsession; his addiction—for you transitioned from a chrysalis of desire to an abyss of yearning.

⤷ Unable to cease his infatuation, he plunges his tongue into your forbidden flower; the glory that trash like him should never delve into. But he doesn’t give a damn about that now.

⤷ He’s aware of his status in comparison to yours. He shouldn’t even be within a mile radius of your sacred space; he shouldn’t be anywhere near you.

⤷ But that’s what made you so addictive; so cherished. He couldn’t get enough of your superiority, and that’s because trash like him will never be enough. He could never amount to your greatness—your holiness—so he takes. And he takes, and he takes, and he takes from you until he’s able to fill his worthless existence with a mere fraction of your inalienable hope.

⤷ You’re his hope. You’re his promise of a better tomorrow. You’re the beacon of light that ensures him that life is worth one more day. You’re the embodiment of his desires. You possess all his wants, and yet he only wants you.

⤷ He only wants to indulge in you; serve you; appease you; fulfill all that it is to please you. As he continues to suckle on your clit, lapping his tongue over the sensitive bud, a moan echoed within the bounds of your bedroom; a moan that was not his own.

⤷ You turn, and a groan of slumber escapes your lips. Nagito’s breath hitched as he pauses his ministrations, heart hammering within his chest in anticipation; dread.

⤷ A dread that warped into sickening excitement as you gasp; the result of a lick to your slit.

⤷ In that climactic second, your entire body stilled as your limbs began to tremble with absolute terror. At that very moment, you are painfully aware of the cold air brushing against your thighs; the cold air of another person’s breath against your exposed cunt.

⤷ A wicked, devious smirk resided on Nagito’s lips as he allowed his repressed chuckle to escape and resound within the tense atmosphere. Just his luck, you were awake.

⤷ He’s disturbed his beloved hope; his god. How shameful, how utterly audacious of him. How dare he stir you from your rest? Much less have your divinity awaken to witness his atrocious self; his existence that you should’ve gone about your merry life without realizing he existed.

⤷ But that doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done, and Nagito can only attempt to mend the inevitable errors he’s committed.

⤷ He’ll try to make amends of his wrongdoings by bringing forth your pleasure. He’s disturbed you, so why not make it all right through serving you? Just like he intended to do in the first place.

⤷ His tongue—formerly masquerading in quick frolics—now fervently diving and plunging into your core. Slurping your juices with such intensity as regard for your already disturbed slumber is dismissed.

⤷ Your hands press against his disheveled hair, tugging and attempting to push him away. Yet the sting of your fingers within his strands merely elicits a groan from his lips; the same moan that vibrates against your body, releasing a moan from your pretty lips that he adores.

⤷ The harmonious sound you’d let out motivating Nagito further as he tightens his right hand over your thigh, throwing it over his shoulder. His left-hand massaging your slit—teasingly—before thrusting two fingers at once.

⤷ Your stuttered moans are pitifully muffled by the biting of your bottom lip. You’re afraid; so very afraid. Why was this happening? Why you?

⤷ With his face buried between your thighs, you couldn’t get a clear view of his face to identity him. You wondered which would be worse; someone you knew or a stranger?

⤷ Regretful whimpers tumble from your lips as Nagito added yet another finger, his lips curled around your clit as he drew a harsh suck; one that forced a particularly loud moan from you.

⤷ He smiled against your cunt, giddy that someone as trashy as him could bring out such melodic noises from you. Yet this blossomed a hunger for more; more of your sounds and more of your pleasure. He wanted to watch you unravel over, and over, and over.

⤷ And—while you laid beneath him, squirming and writhing in both pleasure and an instinct to get away due to your terror—he was going to do so. He was going to milk you of your orgasms relentlessly, basking in your cum as he strives to bring you as much pleasure as scum like him can give.

⤷ As he pumped three digits into your sopping cunt, juices squelching upon contact, his pace only grew more rapid; hasty with the desire to feel you clench around his fingers; soaking him in your cum as you reach your climax. Faster and faster, his eyes interlock with yours as your mouth hung open, your heavenly moans filling the room.

⤷ Yet as your eyes meet, a terrifying realization causes your heart to drop to your stomach along with the unwanted bubbling of your oncoming orgasm.

⤷ You knew him. A bitter realization as your breathing both halted and grew more unstable. You knew him, you knew him, you knew him—tears cascading at the fact—you knew him; Nagito Komaeda, the infamous lucky student in the class below you.

⤷ Through the horrific pleasure of his fingers thrusting into you, a stuttered cry escapes your lips as you sob.

⤷ “Stop! Stop, plea—ah! Komaeda, stop!” Your wails overcoming your unintentional yelps of wretched ecstacy. And paying heed to your pleas, he stops.

⤷ You feel relieved; hopeful. There’s a hope blossoming within your chest as you sought the possibility that he’d truly stop; leave you alone and never show his face to you for the remainder of your life, perhaps allowing you to forget this night ever occurred.

⤷ But once your eyes meet with Nagito’s ghostly green ones once again, you could hear the cracking of your spirit; the shattering of your hope. There’s something within his gaze. Something animalistic, something so terrifyingly carnal.

⤷ He didn’t stop. Not as you sobbed and pleaded for him to let go of you; to leave you alone. Not as you promised you wouldn’t tell a soul about this night if he’d just leave. But he didn’t leave. And he didn’t stop. He wouldn’t stop.

⤷ It hurt. Perhaps not physically—violating you pushing you into heaps of orgasmic pleasure—but emotionally; mentally.

⤷ Your sobs falling upon deaf ears as he removed his fingers from within you; unsheathing his digits in which were soaked in your juices. For once throughout the time you’ve laid conscious, he’s removed himself from you. Shifting his weight onto his knees, barely straddling you.

⤷ In that moment, you saw a chance; an opportunity. And as quickly as your hope had been shattered preciously, the fragments seemed to reassemble themselves; the broken aftermath of what was once whole.

⤷ Though as you prepared yourself to dash towards your bedroom door—half-naked and vulnerable—a sickening, gutwrenching sound haunts your ears; the clanking of a belt buckle followed by the daunting friction of leather.

⤷ You needed to run, and you needed to run now. Without a moment to waste, you used your utmost strength to shove the male back, and throwing yourself off of your bed.

⤷ Your body hit the wooden floorboards with a thump as you wheezed in exasperation; the wind knocking out of you. Yet you didn’t allow the minor setback to hold you down as you shoved yourself from the floor, sprinting towards the closed door.

⤷ It was close; so close you could almost wrap your fingers around the brass knob and release yourself from the confines of your bedroom; what you now considered the encompass of Hell itself.

⤷ As your fingers brushed against the doorknob, curling it to the left and successfully opening the door, a weight shoves itself against you; forcing your body to slam against the door—painfully—shutting it.

⤷ Your blood ran cold; turning to ice at the realization of what’s to come. You were too slow.

⤷ His calloused hands clasp over your body; one over your mouth whilst the other remains firmly atop your hip, squeezing at the plush skin. His breath fanning over the shell of your ear as he mutters something you’re unable to comprehend, much too focused on the painfully audible pulsating of your heart.

⤷ You had nowhere to run, and you surely couldn’t hide anywhere within your room. You were stuck. You were too slow and now he’s trapped you within what you had once assumed was the comforting, safe confinement of your bedroom.

⤷ You could feel it; you could feel him. The unmistakable bulge pressing against your thigh serving as a searing reminder of what it is that’ll be taken from you by the arising of dawn.

⤷ Ever-so hopeful, you continue to thrash; fighting against his bludgeoning grip as you sob an onset of pleas for the possibility of persuasion. But the endeavor of humanistic covetousness is not to be underestimated.

⤷ It’s as though he’s unable to hear your begging; selectively falling deaf as he ravishes for what he yearns for. Despite his internal promising of committing such ludicrously was for you—much like all other actions he takes in his pathetic life—Nagito is bound by the foundations of his humane instincts; selfishness.

⤷ Even as he pushes himself into you, choking out an exaggerated, sinful groan as he savors the feeling of your cunt clenching around him, soaking him in your cum from your previous climax as he thrusts you into another.

⤷ He’s relentless; pounding into you as the ropes of his self-restraint are cut. The remnants of humanity long-lost within him as all that’s left is the barren chrysalis of fatal infatuation; narcissistic desire; the epitome of all that he once vowed to never become.

⤷ Over and over, he circles your clit, stimulating your nerves to draw out the cries of bliss that he adores. Your moans a mantra of pleas to his disillusioned ears.

⤷ Even when the buildup of pleasure became too much, reaching your fourth orgasm of the night rapidly, much to your dismay. The bubbles of elation became too much; it became painful.

⤷ Your legs trembled with shocks of exhaustion, jolting through your limbs in the form of cramps as you sobbed from the mental strain and the physical drain his tainted violation took on you. It hurts, it hurts so bad.

⤷ You wanted him to stop, pushing against his hips which were practically strapped to the curves of your ass, you attempted to put space between your body and his; granting yourself just the tiniest bit of relief from his unwanted touch.

⤷ But he wouldn’t allow that. He yearned to be closer to his hope—his deity—for he knew that the moments shared were temporary; a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity graced by your divinity. And he wouldn’t waste a second of it.

⤷ “Please,” Your voice hoarse from the endless amounts of crying and screaming for release from his captivity. “No more. I can’t—“ But your continuous begging was interrupted by a voice you prayed to whoever would listen that you don’t hear his wretched voice for the rest of your days; the rest of your days in which you’ll attempt to fix the pieces of yourself he’d scattered.

⤷ “But you can, my beloved hope. I believe in your ability to keep going. You’re surging with the throbs of hope! I can feel it!” He rasped. His voice is cheery and upbeat as he panted breathlessly, pushing himself towards an orgasm of his own whilst you’re forced to endure your fifth.

⤷ “No! I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!” You yelped as the crown of his cock kissed against your cervix; a painful jolt shooting up your spine as you cry out. It hurts, everything hurts. Your abused pussy leaked heaps of your cum as the fluids drizzled onto the floorboards and your inner thighs.

⤷ “Don’t lose sight of hope, my darling deity. You are capable! Conquer the putrid tendrils of despair and provide me with another dose of your glory! I beg of you, please. Allow me this moment to—“ His tangent was cut off; his insanity and dazed glorification of obsession are not allowed another second of exposure as you scream.

⤷ “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” It’s loud; your voice ringing in your ears as you clench your fists.

⤷ This man—no, this-this monster—was anything other than humane. He held not an ounce of sanity as his shaft twitched from within you at your outburst, groans escaping his lips at the sensation of you clenching as you shouted your proclamations.

⤷ This sick fuck found pleasure in the outing of his disturbing infatuation. So much so that he pressed his chest against your back as thick ropes of translucent cum fill within you; his cum.

⤷ The horrifying sensation of his heated seed gushing around his cock which still continued to pump into you—though at a much slower pace—pushed you to tears once more. You want to vomit, you want to empty all that’s inside your limp body; a body that no longer felt like your own.

⤷ He reached his climax through the use of your body as though you were a mere fleshlight; a toy simply for his volatile lust. He came inside you.

⤷ Suddenly the room was spinning, the door blending with the wall as the frame warped into unrecognizable shapes. Your body swayed—mind hazy as you swallowed back the traces of bile—before falling into the arms of the sole being you wished nothing more than despair upon.

⤷ He held you; cradled you within his arms as he whispered about how good you were. His cheeks flushed rosy with an unnatural, insane sense of longing.

⤷ “My darling deity, I can’t believe that scum like me managed to ensure you five peaks of ecstacy. What an honor for someone as trashy as me, to be nuzzled within your sacred blossom of hope. Ah, I truly am so lucky...” He rambled. It’s insane; his words, his gaze, his touch. Everything about Nagito Komaeda was—to its very core—insane.

⤷ “To think that someone as worthless as me, as purposeless as me, could be given the gift of serving you like this.” He releases an airy chuckle as he guides you to your bed, laying you to rest once more. Your exhausted figure falling limp as you hit the mattress.

⤷ He leans over you, his breath fanning over your lips as he pauses, gazing into your eyes with a moment of what you believed to be the eyes of true depravity.

⤷ “I’ll follow you to the depths of Hell if I have to. Not a moment in my life will be spent without serving you; worshipping you.“ He continues to monologue, each sentence that leaves his lips muddled with riddled devotion; a promise you pray that he won’t keep.

⤷ His lips brush against yours as the lids of your eyes weigh more by the second. You can sense the warmth of his breath as his lips press against yours; not close enough for a proper kiss yet able to rub against yours. It’s an intimate proximity, but one you’d rather run through fire than share with him.

⤷ “My goddess, I’ll hail you until my dying breath, if your sincerest hopes will allow me.” Finally, he captures your lips with his own, pulling you in for a fleeting kiss that he hesitates in breaking.

⤷ As he pulls back, eyeing your now sleeping form, he couldn’t help but smile. A smile that surely would’ve stirred fear deep within your gut as swirls of delusion masqueraded within his ghostly green hues; a visage of addiction in its rawest form. “My darling deity, I love you.”

[rebelwrites]

Let’s Get Out Of Here (NSFW)

Clay Spenser x Reader

A/N REBEL SMUT IS BACK 😜

Warnings: I think it’s just unprotected sex

Join The Group Chat Here - If You Want Tagging Manually Let Me Know 🖤

Clay Spenser Masterlist

This Months Writing

He knew what he was doing when he came strolling into the pub, straight from hitting the gym, wearing that tight shirt. He was playing a game and you were falling for it. Just like you did every single time but things never happened because one or both of you got far too drunk and ended up staggering back home. But not tonight, you were determined to get the taste of the golden boy.

So here you were leaning against the bar chatting to Jase, but got completely distracted as Clay walked in, with that god damn smirk on his face that always made you weak at the knees. And the bastard had the audacity to wink at you, sending your brain into a frenzy.

“Earth to Y/N” Jason laughed waving his hand in front of your face bringing you back to reality. “You back with us, we lost you there for a moment kiddo”

“Yeah, yeah I’m back” you nodded as you looked away from Clay and back to Jase.

That was another reason nothing had happened between you and Clay, you were deemed off limits. The first day you hung around with the guys he made it very clear you were off limits. Which sucked but you knew he was just following your dads wishes and protecting you, but it was a bit of a buzzkill with someone who you saw as an Uncle basically cock blocked you from the start.

“What were you staring at anyway?” He asked standing next to you following your gaze to a certain blonde. “Oh should have known, anything I should be worried about?”

“Nah” you laughed knocking the shot back “Well not yet anyway, just close your eyes, don’t watch me tonight or something. I’m done playing games.

“Wondered when you’d grow some balls kiddo” Jase laughed as he kissed the top of your head “Knew something would happen between you two, I’ve seen it bubbling away for the last few months now”

“So you aren’t gonna go into protective dad mode?” You asked, raising your brow at him.

“Like you said, I just won’t look, can’t do anything if I can’t see” he laughed “Go get him tiger”

You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself as you grabbed the tray of shots and your beer before heading over to the pool table where the rest of the guys were.

“Fear not the life of the party has landed” you grinned, placing the shots down on the pool table.

“But I’m already here Princess” Clay smirked, winking at you again as he reached for his shot.

“Fuck you Blondie” you grinned, knocking the shot back.

“I mean you could but I don’t think you could handle me” he laughed making you roll your eyes.

“More like you couldn’t handle me pretty boy” you winked, slapping his chest before wandering over to Sonny.

You had a plan and it was going to work this time, you were going to tease the fuck out of him until he caved. So you purposely position yourself on the pool table as you racked the balls up, your ass in his eyeline. A small smirk appeared on your face as you heard Brock say something about him staring and having a death wish.

Looking up Sonny shook his head at you laughing. He knew what you were doing, he always knew and loved watching things play out as it meant he had more ammo to throw at Clay.

As the night went on, Clay didn’t take the bait anymore and it was starting to annoy you now so you upped your game as you learn forward to take your shot, looking up from the pool cue, you locked eyes with him, slowly running your tongue over your bottoms lip before pulling it between your teeth. You didn’t know if your eyes were playing tricks on you but you swore his eyes darkened with lust and he gulped but you couldn’t say for sure.

But you weren't giving up, all you had to do was keep giving him the look whilst biting your lip and he would be putty in your hands. It also helped the dirty thoughts you were thinking as you ran your eyes over his body.

Just like you thought, it didn’t take long for him to cave as the moment you had finished the game of pool, he grabbed your wrist pulling you into his body, backing you into the wall behind you. The moment your back hit the wall you heard Sonny wolf whistle but you blocked him out only focusing on the feeling of Clay’s body pressed against you making you bite your lip again.

Your whole body was tingling and felt like it was on fire as he pinned your arms above your head, dropping his face so his lips were only inches away from yours, he was so close you could smell the beer on his breath.

“You’ve been giving me bedroom eyes for the past half an hour, time to tell me what exactly, was on your mind.” He said slowly whilst maintaining eye contact.

“Maybe you will never find out” you giggled.

“You and I both know that I will find out” he hummed as he moved his hips, slowly grinding against you, you couldn’t help but moan at the feeling, making him smirk.

Everything happened so fast, his hands moved from your wrists, running down your body until he was cupping your ass, you got the message loud and clear as you jumped up, wrapping your arms around his neck and legs around his waist, allowing him to get closer to you, his lips connected with yours as he pressed you against the wall.

The kiss was hot, heavy and full of lust. You know you were screwed as just one kiss left you feeling like you were floating so you had a feeling anything more would kill you off but it was a price you were willing to play, especially when he depended the kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth as you said the unspoken words you both had, right there in the pub pinned against the wall.

If you could you would have ripped his clothes off him right then and there but unfortunately that wasn’t an option and neither was taking this any further, especially with Sonny around.

“Oooooh shit” he shouted slamming his hands on the pool table making you and Clay pull away from each other, but maintaining eye contact. “Some babies are being made tonight ladies and gentlemen”

Resting your forehead against Clay’s you let out a breathless laugh. You couldn’t help yourself as you got lost in his eyes. There was no going back now, the line had been crossed.

“Let’s get out of here” he whispered against your lips before stealing another kiss. “Before either of us get to drunk to carry this on”

“Your place is closer” you giggled as he gently set you down on the ground, the moment your feet touched the ground you stole his cap, it just had to be done, something you always did, placing the cap backwards on your head you ran your hand down his chest, linking your fingers with his, guiding him through the crowd with everyone whistling behind you.

The walk to his place didn’t take long but the air around you was different, the banter had turned a lot more flirty and you were both itching to get behind closed doors to finish what you had started.

The moment you walked into his apartment and the door was locked you were dragged to the bedroom, and pushed down onto the bed, and a topless Clay pinned you down with his body, you felt so happy to finally be able to roam his sculpted body with yours hands.

No words were spoken as Clay dipped his head down, brushing your hair off your shoulder, placing hot kisses down your neck, instantly making you feel weak especially when he nipped at your skin. You were under his spell and was loving it, soft moans left your lips as you bucked your hips up against him trying to get some friction.

“You don’t know how many times I’ve dreamt of this moment” you breathed as he repositioned so he could get your shirt off.

“I think I can guess” he hummed as his eyes ran down your body. “Tell me something Y/N did you ever think of me whilst you got yourself off”

“All the damn time” you whispered as you fumbled with the button of his jeans. “I just hope you live up to dream Clay”

“Oh baby it’s gonna be so much better” he smirked as he unfastened your bra, throwing it across the room, taking one of your nipples in his mouth, his tongue moving slowly making you moan.

“Please no more teasing Clay” you moaned “I need you, I need to feel you”

“Mmm now that I can do” he hummed against your skin before gently biting your nipple sending shockwaves through your body. “God you know how to drive me insane” he smirked as he undid your jeans, pulling them down your body before doing the same with your thong.

“Fuck why haven’t we done this sooner” he whispered against your skin, placing soft kisses over your body. “You know this won’t just be a one night thing, I know I’m going to get addicted to feeling you around my cock, hearing you moan my name”

“Oh god Clay please” you whimpered as he ran his finger over your core.

Within seconds he was now naked, and hovering over you, the tip of his cock rubbing against your clit making you dig your nails into his shoulders.

“Tell me if I’m too rough okay” he whispered against your lips before softly kissing you as he pushed himself inside.

A gasp left your lips as the feeling of his stretching you out, you knew he was packing but didn’t know it would feel this good, he started off slow letting you get used to him but soon got the hint by your moans and started to move his hips.

“Fuck Princess” he grunted in your ear “so fucking tight”

You knew you weren't going to last long, as your moans got louder with every thrust, every move sent shockwaves through your body making you claw at Clay’s back, no doubt leaving marks but in the heat of the moment neither of you cared.

“Clay fuck” you moaned burying your face in the crook of his neck as his thumb found your clit, finding the same pace as his hips and that familiar feeling was getting stronger in the pit of your stomach, you were close and knew he knew as he thrusted harder making you bite into his shoulder from the pleasure. “Shit, shit, shit” you panted as he pushed you over the edge of climax.

But he didn’t let off, he was chasing his own high, but he was close as his thrusts were getting slower and he pulled you as close to him as physically possible, you had no time to come down from your first high as another was building, his lips connected with yours as he pushed you down into the bed, both moaning into the kiss as you fell over the edge of ecstasy.

The feeling of him laying on top of you whilst you both came down from your high was one of the best feelings in the world.

“I normally last longer than that” he laughed, nuzzling his head in the crook of your neck.

“I have no doubt in that” you giggled as you stared at the ceiling, “I mean if that was just a quickie then you are gonna put me in an early grave”

“Is that right?” He laughed, propping himself up on his elbow “wanna see how many more rounds we can go?”

“Is that a bet Clay Spenser?” You smirked wrapping yours around around his neck “because if so game on baby”

@chibsytelford @mrsmarvelous1995 @supervalcsi

@everyhowlmarksthedead @talicat713

[peterspideyy]

interruptions

written before newt came out <3

summary- newt tries to tell you how he truely feels about you, but keeps on getting stopped

warnings- fluff, maybe some angst, and newt being pissed off with everyone (apart from you hehe)

————

“i can’t believe i’m agreeing to letting you do this, minho.” newt groaned, as said boy had his hand wrapped around the second in command’s arm, dragging him across the glade.

“well, newt, i’m actually shucking helping you if you couldn’t believe it.” he replied.

“yes. i can’t believe that you out of all people want to help me.” newt snapped back.

“i’m actually doing this for your own benefit,” minho shrugged, “as well as mine, i can’t bare to listen to you chat about how much you love y/n all day. it’s starting to drive me insane.”

newt abruptly stopped, causing minho to fly back at the sudden action. “how do you think i’ll be able to do this? i can’t bloody talk to her without going red or stuttering like a complete idiot!”

minho smirked, “well, a- you go up to her, b- say how you feel, c- ask her out, d- and then you’re with the love of your life and you can spend the rest of your day’s togther, saying bloody”

“all british people don’t say bloody all the time, you know?” newt questioned.

“well, you do.”

newt sighed, rolling his eyes.

“stop being a shank, and go up to her.” minho gestured, looking behind him.

newt followed minho’s gaze, before it landed on you, who was laughing with gally and chuck. a slight smile creeped up on his face at the sight. he was completely and utterly in love with you. he doesn’t know exactly when he fell in love with you. it might have been when you first came up in the box. you were so scared, yet adorable, and the british boy instantly found a soft spot for you. it might have been at a bonfire, were the golden light casted a slight glow on your face, causing newt to choke on his drink. or it might have been that night, when you talked for hours about anything and everything. he doesn’t know when, but he can feel that he is in love with his best friend.

“i-i can’t, minho.” newt whined, looking at the runner who was smirking again.

“it’s so funny watching you be in love, newt.”

newt groaned, placing his head in his hands, “you’re not helping.”

“well, if you shucking ask her out already, she’ll say yes and you’ll live a happy life drinking...tea.”

newt rolled his eyes for the second time. “stop. anyway, what if she doesn’t feel the same way?”

minho titled his head to the side, “that could happen...but listen, you can tell she’s in love with you too.”

“how?”

minho froze. “you’re kidding me, right?”

the second in command looked at minho cautiously who shook his head in disbelief. he couldn’t believe newt has never noticed how you look at him for longer than a friend does or how you can’t function properly around him. you’re both completely oblivious to each other’s actions. and it’s driving minho insane.

“right, let’s get this over with. today could be the best day of your life.” minho smiled, putting his hands on newt’s shoulders before leading him towards you.

“or the worst.”

“think positively.”

newt couldn’t. millions of thoughts were circling his brain, as he got closer towards you. he could hear your laugh more clearly now, and he wanted to get out of minho’s grasp and run away. but, he breathed out heavily, trying to gain some confidence as he and the runner stopped infront of you.

“hey newt! minho!” you spoke.

newt stood still, eyes wide making minho roll his eyes. “hey y/n!”

you glanced at newt, furrowing your brows at how weird he was looking at you, making you immediately feel nervous. but, unbeknownst to you, newt was having a mental breakdown- on the inside.

“everything okay?” you questioned, glancing at minho who was starring at newt.

“newt here,” minho started, pushing said boy forward slightly, “has something he would love to tell you.”

you glanced at the second in command, who was looking down at his feet now, not daring to make eye contact.

“okayy.”

minho slapped newt on the back of the head, making him wince as he sent daggers to the runner, before looking at you. “can i-i speak to you please? in private?”

you smiled slightly. “sure.”

and so you and newt walked away from minho, gally and chuck who were sending newt thumbs up making him roll his eyes. newt was literally shaking- he has never dealt with this amount of stress and worry before. he didn’t want this to effect the close friendship you had- it meant so much to him, and he wouldn’t know what to do if he ruined that.

you stopped by the gardens away from people, as you turned around to face the blonde haired boy. “what’s up newt? you’re worrying me.”

he laughed, “tell me about it.”

“what does that mean?” you inquired, titling your head to the side. “you can tell me anything you know, i’m your best friend.”

“well, shit.” newt thought, gulping loudly.

“erm, okay, i don’t know how to word this so i’m just going to say so i’m sorry about that i’m not very good with putting words together sorry-“

“newt.” you spoke, cutting off his rambling.

“right, sorry.”

you giggled. “if you say sorry one more time i’m going to hurl something at you.”

he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck, “right sorry- er i mean okay.”

“tell me what’s going on with you.” you encouraged.

“y/n i-“

“newt!” alby shouted from across the glade cutting him off, making him sigh.

“perfect timing, huh?” newt mumbled, making you chuckle.

“newt! where the shucking hell are you?!” alby continued shouting, causing newt to smile sadly at you.

“i better go and see what’s bloody happening. i’ll tell you later.” he said, before turning around and running towards the leaders frustrated calls.

————

after newt sorted out alby’s problems with gladers not following orders, he went to find you, to finally tell you what he’s been wanting to tell you for a while. he saw minho running towards him, a wide smile on his face.

“have you done it yet?” minho asked.

“no.”

“what? why?!”

“blame alby!” newt huffed, as he carried on looking for you.

“have you seen y/n anywhere?” he asked, not once looking at minho.

“oh yeah, she’s in the med hut.”

newt froze, turning around slowly and dreading the worse. “what?”

“stop panicking, she’s fine. chuck cut his hand so she’s sorting him out.”

newt physically relaxed, a blush creeping on his cheek at the thought of you being so helpful to the gladers. they didn’t deserve you. he didn’t deserve you.

“right, thanks.” newt replied, before running towards where you were. he walked in, seeing you give chuck a reassuring smile who was clutching onto his hand, which had a bandage wrapped around. tears stained chuck’s face, making newt’s heart pang. sure it was only a little cut, but he was a kid. and a kid should not be in the glade. chuck mumbled a thanks, before walking out leaving you and newt alone.

“bless him.” you spoke, tidying up the work space.

“yeah.” newt whispered.

you breathed out, turning to look at the british boy. “are you going to tell me what’s happening then?”

“er, i don’t- i mean yes. yes i am.” he stuttered, walking towards you, and placing his hands in yours looking in your eyes deeply. he searched for any disgust or worry in your orbs, but only found confusion and a hint of something else but he couldn’t put a finger on it. he sighed, mentally encouraging himself to actually say he likes you.

“y/n, i’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while now, and i think i’m in lo-“

“newt!”

“you’ve got to be kidding me.” newt thought closing his eyes, as he mentally attacked whoever is calling him.

“newt! where are you?”

he sighed, as he realised the shouting belonged to gally. soon, the builder walked into the med hut, looking very angry. nothing new there.

“what do you want?” newt asked, wincing at how rude he sounded.

gally looked between the two of you, before glaring at the british boy. “you...” he spoke sternly, pointing at him, “need to go out there and sort it out.”

newt breathed out heavily, taking his hands away from yours before rubbing the back of his neck. “sort what out?”

“the animals.”

you laughed, as newt scoffed. “you seriously inturrupted me for animals?”

“yes! come on!” and before newt could say no, gally left causing the blonde boy to sigh heavily for the millionth time. he turned to look at you, smiling at you slightly.

“seems like everyone wants you today,” you mumbled. “tell me later, ‘kay?”

newt nodded, but never moved as he debated to just blurt out ‘i love you,’ before he went to see what was happening. but, he decided to go against that idea, smiling slightly as he ran out of the hut to gally and the others.

————

“have you done it?” minho asked newt, eagerly waiting for him to say yes and give him details. but, he didn’t expect newt to shake his head, as he sighed closing one of the animal pens.

“what? why?” minho shouted alerting the whole glade, making newt snap his head towards him.

“minho i swear to god shut it-“

“oh fine. sorry.” he laughed, but stopped. “why haven’t you shucking told her?”

“do you not think i’ve tried too?! i keep on getting bloody inturrupted. first alby and now gally. if one more person cuts me off, at the wrong time, i’m going to bloody throw them in the pit!” newt barked, but only so minho could hear.

“oh.”

newt scoffed. “yeah, oh.”

minutes passed before minho spoke again. “i have an idea.”

“this is going to be great.” newt replied, sarcasm evident in his voice.

minho only smirked, before pointing at you, alone, in the kitchen. “go to her now, and i’ll distract the others.”

“how are you supposed to control fifty boys in a couple of minutes, when it’s took me three years to do so?” newt questioned, one hand on his hip.

“trust me. i have my ways.”

newt glared at him. “don’t you dare, threaten them.”

“i won’t, newton.” minho laughed, as newt cringed at the nickname.

“go go go!” minho urged, pushing the boy more towards to kitchen making him sigh, as he walked to the kitchen.

“right, listen hear you shanks!” minho shouted, as newt walked away, making him roll his eyes, before he entered the kitchen. you looked up from cutting vegetables, smiling slightly.

“why is minho shouting at everyone?”

“er, no idea.” newt lied.

“okay,” you placed the knife down carefully, “what do you want to tell me?”

newt’s nerves suddenly came back, nearly making him sick. “erm...”

“it’s okay newt, you can tell me anything.” you spoke softly, placing your hands on his, hoping to calm him down but it did the exact opposite.

“okay...y/n, your my bestfriend. i wouldn’t be who i am today without you helping me through...everything. and i-i don’t know when but, i’ve started to feel something. what i’m basically saying is, that i am in lov-“

“hey, newt?” thomas questioned cutting newt off, as he walked into the kitchen, clearly oblivious to the conversation happening.

“what?!” newt shouted, making thomas jump and look at him.

“oh sorry did i inturrupt something?” he asked looking between you both, guilt flooding him, making newt’s angry expression soften.

“yeah, it’s fine though. what’s up?”

“i was just saying that minho and gally are fighting.”

you giggled, as newts eyes went wide. “what?”

“minho started to teach everyone how to protect themselves, and now they’re fighting.” he said simply, pointing outside. you and newt followed his finger, to see he was right.

in the middle of the glade, minho and gally were wrestling while everyone was cheering loudly. even alby was laughing- slightly.

“you’re shucking kidding me.” newt mumbled, leaving the kitchen insantly to stop whatever was happening.

————

“did you do it?”

newt glared at minho, who was now in the med hut, with bruises all over his body, after his ‘training’ with gally.

“no. thanks to you being a complete and utter shank.”

minho only laughed slightly, angering newt more. if that was possible.

“it’s not funny minho. all day i’ve been bloody trying to tell y/n how i feel, but i can’t with fifty slintheads inturrupting me.”

minho looked at his friend, starting to feel slightly guilty. “sorry.”

newt sighed. “it’s okay, i-i just...it’s so annoying you know? the one time i finally have the guts to tell her that i love her, and the world won’t let me.”

“do it tonight?” minho asked, gesturing to the bonfire starting to be lit by a few boys.

newt nodded slightly, “i could do. unless one of you shanks cut me off.”

“i promise that by tonight you and y/n will be together.” minho cringed, as newt blushed at the idea of finally being with you.

————

the fire in the middle of the glade, was lit, as it soared into the night sky, warming up everything around it. everyone had a glass of gally’s drink, securely in their hands, as they all laughed and talked.

you were stood next to thomas, laughing at something he said while newt was across the glade, watching and building up his confidence. the liquid from gally’s drink, nearly split over at how much he was shaking from nerves. he didn’t want to mess this up.

“newt! have you done it yet?” alby slurred, patting him on the back, as he pointed to your figure. newt only shook his head, scared that his voice will show how scared he was.

“go overrr to her!” he shouted.

newt handed alby his drink, causing the leader to laugh as he gulped the rest of it before walking away to get more alcohol. newt rolled his eyes, as he made his way over to you. his heart was panging so loudly, anyone could hear it. he barely had time to tell himself what he was going to say, before he found himself stood infront of you.

“oh hi newt.” you smiled, causing him to grin back.

“h-hi, can i speak to you please?”

thomas’ eyes went wide, as he realised what was about to happen, “oh my god, your doing it!”

if looks could kill, thomas would be dead right now.

“do what?” you inquired, looking between the pair.

yeah- newt was going to kill thomas.

“n-nothing, come on, let’s go.” newt spoke, before ushering you away, as thomas whispered ‘good luck’ down his ear.

once you and newt were away from everyone, you turned around to face him. “are you finally going to tell me what you’ve been wanting to tell me all day?”

“hopefully.”

you smiled, nodding slightly, as you waited for newt to say what has been on his mind. newt breathed in, mentally figuring out what he was going to say. he’s been panicking of actually trying to talk to you, he hasn’t even thought of how to word his feelings.

“iloveyoumorethanafriend.” newt spoke quickly, surpising himself at the sudden outburst.

“what?” you questioned, laughing slightly. you didn’t understand a word he just said.

“okay er, i love yo-“

“newt! your doing it! yes!” chuck shouted cutting him off. you glanced at chuck, furrowing your brows at what he meant causing the british boy’s anger to return.

“i swear to god, if a kid releases my feelings to her before i do.” newt thought, as chuck started dancing happily around the pair.

but, before chuck could even open his mouth, newt placed his hands on your cheeks turning your head to face him, before smashing his lips to yours, making your eyes go wide, but soon relaxing and returning the gesture. chuck’s chanting stopped, as he watched the pair infront of him; he gagged slightly before running away leaving you and the second in command to melt into each other. your hands wrapped around newt’s neck, as you played with the hairs on the back of his neck, while his hands moved from your cheeks to your waist pulling you closer- if that was possible. you pulled away after a couple of seconds, leaning your forehead against his as you both tried to catch your breaths, with your eyes closed.

“i’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.” newt spoke first, laughing slightly.

“i’m glad you’ve done it.” you laughed with him, as you opened his eyes, a faint blush creeping on your cheeks as newt was already looking at you. he brought one of his hands to your cheek, softly placing a peice of hair behind your ear.

“i love you, y/n. so much.” he smiled. your heart melted at the sight of him. he looked so happy- with all the stress of the maze being washed away from him insantly.

“i love you too. so much.”

newt beamed wider this time, glad you feel the same way, before he leaned down again ready to plant his lips on your again, but was cut off by minho patting him on the back.

“knew you had it in you, newton.” minho smirked, winking at you both, causing newt to see red again.

“if one more person inturrupts me today, your going into the pit for a year.” newt warned, glaring at minho, making you giggle. minho held up his hands, before turning around and walking away.

newt rolled his eyes, before turning to face you, all the anger evident in his eyes being washed away insantly. “right, where were we?”

“i think you were about to do this.”

and as you leaned in, placing your lips on his softly, you both drained all the cheers and claps from the gladers away, with only each other as the only thing in the world you truely cared about.

————

a/n- i can just imagine newt getting so pissed off with everyone ahah! hope you enjoyed :)

————

newt taglist-

@parkersbliss @liberty-barnes @sweetiesangster @marilovescevans @the-salty-asian @24kbucky

[finleycannotdraw]

Guess what? I’m re-binge-reading Good Omens. And here are some Obervations that I forgot about and some things I might put in fics. Also things I found funny. Basically my dumb commentary on the book.

Crowley actually flees Sister Mary. He doesn’t saunter vaguely away. He flees.

Ligur is rather more thoughtful than he’s portrayed in the show

Anathema likes to read about herself, and her teachers are confused because she spells words like Agnes Nutter

Crowley apologizes

By page 41, it is mentioned at least twice that Aziraphale and Crowley Do Not choose each other’s company for any reason other than that they are constants, that they have an Arrangement, and that they are Friends because being Enemies got boring.

Aziraphale blushes!!!!!!

The Drunk Scene is fuckin hilarious and it’s actually a lot longer than it is in the show, and really you ought to read it. (Book pages 47-50)

My mom (who has a PhD in human development) would probably like to talk to Crowley about upbringing because they seem to agree on how important it is

War has always looked 25, and had a vulture that died of fatty degeneration

Pollution is very cleverly compared to actual pollution

Warlock has Kermit the frog overalls, and Nanny Ashtoreth is described as someone who “advertises unspecified but strangely explicit services in certain magazines”. The tutors are present for about four paragraphs. Warlock is good at math and likes banana flavored bubblegum.

Crowley has a slice of angel cake. Aziraphale eats it. Aziraphale also eats deviled eggs. Hm.

Crowley calls Aziraphale angel casually enough to suggest he’s been doing it for a long time

Some girl at Warlock’s party calls Aziraphale a f*ggot

Crowley glares suspiciously at a gerbil. It is suggested that Hell has, in the past, sent hell-gerbils in place of hellhounds.

“Oh dear,” muttered Aziraphale, not swearing with the practiced ease of one who has spent six thousand years not swearing, and who wasn’t going to start now.

Adam and his friends play in a place called The Pit, where shopping carts go to die, apparently

Crowley is the first one to mention sides in the book!??!? Also Crowley goes on about how humans are more evil than Hell (but he calls himself evil—is he calling himself human already?)

Aziraphale yells “get off the road, you clown!”

“What’s a velvet underground?” *love confession???* “you wouldn’t like it”

Aziraphale is a bit rude to Crowley in the “flashes of love” scene and Crowley is less panicked about it

Crowley glares at the Bentley and it fixes itself

Anathema’s bike is called Phaeton

COULD THEY ACT ANY MORE MARRIED OH MY GOD

Aziraphale speaks like. Like ugh. “FlOUndeR on tHe rOcKS of inEquiTY”

“Thirty seconds later someone shot both of them. With incredible accuracy.” *cuts to a random pleasant story about Mary Hodges* *cuts back to where Aziraphale has fallen into a rhododendron and Crowley licks the paint before he knows it’s paint* dumbasses

Crowley does not slam Aziraphale into the wall

Crowley is actually pretty impatient and doesn’t argue with Aziraphale when he’s worried

“Nothing but dust and fundamentalists” “that was nasty” “sorry, couldn’t help it”

When the radio sings “Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,” Crowley sings “for me” and then screams

Crowley asks Aziraphale if he’ll keep in touch, and Aziraphale doesn’t say tickety-boo, and then Crowley says “right” and feels very alone

the international express man is small and has glasses, and wears green woolen socks

The sword, which turns out to be Aziraphale’s, is described as having an aura of hatred and menace, which makes me think of how it could’ve gotten that aura from Heaven or from humanity or from War...

In the book Pepper has red hair and freckles, which makes it a cool comparison to War’s appearance and the defeat of War

Adam is excellent at slouching, apparently

Occasionally, as Aziraphale reads the book, he would very nearly swear

“He wouldn’t have said ‘that’s weird’ if a flock of sheep had cycled past playing violins.”

“If you had told him there were children starving in Africa he would’ve been flattered that you’d noticed.”

“...that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide.” (151)

Wensleydale watches David Attenborough programs

Shadwell’s voice is described as “the color of an old raincoat” and seems to fake smoking cigarettes

Aziraphales cocoa is moldy and solidified by the time he calls Arthur Young, and has a thin layer of dust on himself too

Newt says that the walls look like nicotine and the floor looks like cigarette ash, and he suspects both are, actually, coated with these substances

Newt looks a bit like Clark Kent, and people seem to like Shadwell for some reason, much to his annoyance.

Aziraphale calls Shadwell “dear boy” on the phone

Agnes Nutter called God a daft old fool #goals

Adam is wayyyy too good at video games

Smelling Anathema’s perfume makes Newt uncomfortable

Adam suggests that Pepper ought to have Russia cause of her red hair (huh)

Anathema and Newt actually have decent conversations?? Like?? Show??? C’mon, man. The show kinda butchered their relationship.

Trees, apparently, make a ‘vvrooooommm’ sound when they grow very fast

“He suspected that Crowley was from the Mafia, or the underworld, although he would have been surprised how right he nearly was.” Shadwell also thought Aziraphale was a Russian spy. Wow, Shadwell.

Aziraphale calls Crowley and actually says “shut up” to him, and then when the answering machine beeps, he tells Crowley to “stop making noises” and then he swears for the first time ever.

The fuckin’ footnote on page 227

“A sleek computer was the sort of thing Crowley felt that the sort of human he tried to be would have.” I like the word choice here. He’s not pretending to be a human, he’s trying to be one. That’s a really important distinction.

It never actually says what Crowley does to his plants.

Crowley’s flat is very white. Wow, Crowley. It just looks dark because of the lighting. Heaven imagery and symbolism out my ears, goddammit.

Why does Hell say Crowley’s name so much when talking to him?? Honestly, I think that’s an intentional dig at his chosen name, using it in their speech to scare him. Wow, Hell. (And wow, Finn, excellent sentence)

Whenever the book says something is shaped like something, it definitely isn’t that thing. “man-shaped” “dog-shaped” “car-shaped”... makes it pretty obvious they aren’t men, dogs, or cars, huh.

The code to Crowley’s safe is 4004. The year he “slithered onto this stupid, marvelous planet”... and the year he met Aziraphale, of course. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, Crowley, my dude.

Crowley consideres sticking Hastur into his car until he turns into Freddie Mercury but then decides even he isn’t that cruel

Actual text that I feel like nobody really agrees with: “Madame Tracy was by many yardsticks quite stupid”

“Do I look like I run a bookshop?” “...imagine me out of uniform, sir, and what kind of man would you see before you? Honestly?” “A prat.”

I’m crying. The fucking bookshop fire scene made me fucking cry. I’m literally crying.

“...on all fours in the blazing bookshop, Crowley cursed Aziraphale, and the ineffable plan, and Above, and Below.” “The police and firemen looked at him, saw the expression on his face, and stayed exactly where they were.” “...a crack of thunder so loud it hurt....” *the sound of Finley sobbing into their cat*

The shortest biker in the cafe thing is 6′2, what the fuck

War, Famine, Pollution, and Pop Trivia 1962-1979

“Pollution removed his helmet and shook out his long white hair. He had taken over when Pestilence, muttering about penicillin, had retired in 1936. If only the old boy had known what opportunities the future had held.” HMMMMMMMMMMM

“There were no bitches in Hell either.” I know it’s talking about female dogs, but I rather thought Hell was full of bitches.

“Why are you talking like a poofter?” “Ah. Australia.”

“gOsh, aM i on teLEviSiON?” (Basically Aziraphale gets passionate about stuff and likes to talk).

Crowley is actually an optimist and doesn’t dwell too much on how sucky the world is. He doesn’t go get smashed in a bar. He just finds Aziraphale’s notes in the book and heads to Tadfield. And also, his new pair of sunglasses just... materializes out of his eyes. And he likes to whistle.

“Death and Famine and War and Pollution continued biking to Tadfield. And Grievous Bodily Harm, Cruelty to Animals, Things Not Working Properly Even After You’ve Given Them A Good Thumping But Secretly No Alcohol Lager, and Really Cool People traveled with them.”

“on top of the pile a rather large octopus waved a languid tentacle at them. The sergeant resisted the temptation to wave back.” Honestly dude, if an octopus waved at me I’d wave back.

Wait Agnes was apparently talking to Shadwell and not God when she said yowe daft old foole. I dunno

Madame Tracy: You old silly. Shadwell: 

Aziraphale does not know how to get rid of demons. Canonically. “Had never done other to get rid of demons than to hint to them very strongly that he, Aziraphale, had some work to be getting on with, and wasn’t it getting late? And Crowley always got the hint.”

The road to Hell is paved with frozen door to door salesmen, apparently. The question is where it is, because the demons always seem to just stem out of the ground.

“Heigh ho,” said Anthony Crowley, and just drove anyway. I love this sentence during that scene. 

I bet Hastur gets really mad whenever he hears Aziraphale’s voice from now on

Crowley isn’t breathing the entire burning Bentley scene

ADAM. SAID. “But I reckon you can make your own side” AND WE FUCKIN IGNORED IT?

The temperature above the M25 was simultaneously 700ºC and -140ºC which makes me think of something I read about magenta not being real. The M25 is magenta.

I feel like “Agnes” is just going to become an inside joke between Anathema and Newt at this point, and it will drive Crowley insane because he knows who she is but somehow still doesn’t get the joke.

I’m six inches taller than R.P. Tyler, and apparently according to the back sleeve of the book jacket, I’m very similar in height to Neil Gaiman

R.P. Tyler thought Shadwell was a ventriloquist’s dummy, and then sees cows doing somersaults

“That’s terrific. Much obliged,” said Crowley. — “Funny weather we’re having, isn’t it?” “Is it? I hadn’t noticed.” “Probably because your car is on fire.” .... Also the fact that Crowley looks like a young man which I find interesting.

“The Four Button-Pressers of the Apocalypse”

“Where is Armageddon, anyway?” “I’ve always meant to look that up.” “There’s an Armageddon, Pennsylvania”

Famine is the one that says “that’s one big avocado”, and also, I find it interesting that War, more than once, talks about love. (All is fair in love and war much?)

Anathema threatens the guard with a stick, pretending it’s a gun

Aziraphale, of course, asks Crowley to sort it out because he, Aziraphale, is “the nice one” and then proceeds to sort it out himself. Because of course he does. Because what else could he possibly do.

I just ADORE THIS BOOK OKAY

I’M PROBABLY GOING TO READ IT AGAIN IN A MONTH

Aziraphale and Crowley are so fuckin married I can’t

[salenakingston]

Mystery March Day 29 - Character

(It’s time for another gift fic for this prompt. This time it’s for @unbridled-trash’s guardian AU. Tbh, this prompt was a little hard, because I didn’t want to go for the obvious, so I went with the ‘judge of character’ approach, and this au was perfect for this. I hope you like it <3)

He was so sure of this, getting his revenge on the one that so unjustly wronged him. It was perfect. Track him down, recreate the very same cave, then allow that former friend to suffer the same fate he had. He’d made the conscious decision to carry out this plan, to release the blond over the same pit of spikes he had once turned his gaze on. The second to last thing to see before his life was cut short.

But the longer he watched, the more he began to regret his actions. It was as if time slowed, everything around them was in slow motion, his mind racing. Why did Arthur sound so surprised to see him? Had he not recognized him prior to this point? No.. it couldn’t have just been that. He’d seen it at the last second, a glint of metal that clung to his arm before being dropped. He never had that before. Where had it come from? His left arm? Wait.. that’s the one that pushed him.

Speaking of the release, the blonde didn’t even make any attempt to continue clinging to his limb. His fingers could have curled into the fabric of his suit, yet they slipped just as easily. It was almost as if he had done it on purpose. Was the shock too much?

Greater than all those factors was the aftermath. Arthur was falling, but rather than seeing a revenge plot carried out, all he could see was his screaming face, falling again as he had all those months again. There was something missing here, and this was not the way to do it. The locket faded far greater than before, multiple cracks racing along the surface. Anger was vanquished, and the ghost dove for his friend.

Arthur was caught by the arms, inches away from death. The illusion faded, both men planting their feet down on metal rather than stone. The blonde broke out of his spell, somehow finding a smile appearing over his face. Hands found their way to his chest, doubt filling his mind as his friend spoke, “Lewis, it’s you! I-”

Tears were falling down from his face. This just further proved that there was more to this story… but what was he supposed to say? The flames making his hair fell over his eyes as his skull turned down, as if he was now ashamed of everything he had done prior to this point. It didn’t stop the blonde from talking, “I missed you so much!”

A strange feeling washed over him… what was that?

“Arthur…”

His tears wouldn’t cease, “God Lew, I’ve been looking for you for months. I almost thought I wouldn’t-”

He’d been looking for him? Did he not remember what he had done in the first place? If that was the case, then how unjust would it be to bring the blonde his death for a cause he couldn’t understand? He would be no better than the one he believed to be his murderer. He couldn’t do this anymore.

“Arthur.”

“Sorry! What is it?”

Their hands were gripped together. He couldn’t look his friend in the eyes. He didn’t deserve it, not after what he had just attempted. There was another wave of that strange feeling washing over him. His eyes fell on his arm, a terrifying observation made. It was subtle, but he could see the shine of the metal floor on the other side of it. He was disappearing. Oh…

“Arthur, I’m so sorry-”

“About the whole ‘trying to kill me’ thing? Lewis it’s fine-”

Why did he have to make this so hard? He swore he could feel the cracks along his locket deepen, “Arthur, I can’t stay.”

Confusion appeared on his friend’s face, “What?”

Another glance at his arm showed the pace of his fading. It wouldn’t be long until he was gone, and the blonde would not have to worry about the threat on his life anyone… his search all being in vain… He didn’t want to go, but what choice was there? Fade with his anger gone, or continue to linger on trying to kill? Even if he chose the latter, it would all come to an end at one point, or their relationship would be so damaged that there would be nothing to save.

“I’m not angry anymore, there’s nothing keeping me here. I haven’t got much time left-”

As if some higher being heard him, the whole of his form became see through, “I’m not ready Artie. I don’t want to go.” He could feel tears form in his sockets, falling along his skull as his eyes finally fell back down on Arthur.

Fear crossed his friend’s face, his own tears coming back in full force. The smile he once held was quick to fall. His voice rose, terror at knowing what this meant striking his very being, “Then stay!! You can’t just leave, not now!! I’ve only just found you!!!”

His voice fell again, replaced with a plea, “Please!”

He pulled the blonde into a tight embrace, his skull hanging over his shoulder. He felt Arthur’s own arms move around his back, clinging to him as if holding onto him would keep him from disappearing. How much he wished his friend had that kind of power. He could only accept this outcome, holding his friend just as tightly before he would be gone, “Arthur, I’m so sorry.”

Arthur’s cries and begging rang through the truck, “No no no no, Lewis please. Not this. No no no.”

Both were in tears, seconds away from his fate. Arthur was still chanting, growing louder and more desperate, “No no no no! Please! No no!”

He heard one finally attempt before he fully faded, “No no no no! Please god no!”

----

Darkness.

It was the only thing he was aware of. He couldn’t really make too much sense of it. Should there be nothing? He was no longer with his friends, unable to keep the hate grown inside his heart. He faded. All his regret rolled around in his head. Why hadn’t he thought to seek out the truth rather than jump straight into revenge? Why did he fight so hard to end his best friend’s life? Why didn’t he see all the signs? Why did he have to leave? Why couldn’t he still be there for Arthur. His friend needed him, and now he was left without a choice. He could still picture the blonde, suffocating in sorrow.

His best friend had been searching for him for so long, only to lose him forever. Why couldn’t he have found a way to get back to him?

“Young one, what ails you?”

A voice? Had he imagined that? He wasn’t sure what to believe. When he first met death, he wouldn’t ever expect he would return as a ghost, the one thing their group was always hunting down. Why should he be surprised now? Really, it didn’t matter. Was this some kind of punishment? To sit here and wallow in his regrets for his afterlife? So long as he was going to be here, why ignore this voice? It held no malice, and it was a small distraction from his racing thought, if only to be something that could ground him rather than drive him insane.

“I didn’t want to leave him. He needs me.”

“Who does?”

“Arthur.”

“What does this ‘Arthur’ mean to you?”

What did Arthur mean to him? Everything. He didn’t deserve to have this success snatched away from him. He still would have his uncle, Vivi, Mystery, and even Galahad, but his imagination went wild. What would he do now? If he’d spent so much time looking for Lewis, then what would happen to him now that he was gone? He didn’t like what his mind came up with. He only wanted to be back with him, “He’s my best friend. We parted on such terrible terms. I want nothing more than to be with him again.”

“Terrible terms?”

“I…” He lost his voice. Why was it this question that made his curiosity on who he was speaking to return? It didn’t deter him for long, “I was so angry with him. I chased him down, I tried to kill him the same way he killed me. I hated him.”

“But you are here.”

“I was wrong! I didn’t see it before because I was so angry! There was more to it, but no time. He was so sad. I can’t leave him there alone. Not after all that.”

“What would you give to be returned to his side?”

What would he give? There was only one answer to that, “Anything.”

“Then you need only open your eyes, young one.”

----

Lewis opened his eyes, gaze meeting the flesh of his hands. Hands? This was impossible. How? He looked along the rest of himself, the same attire he wore in life. He would have believed he’d somehow come back to life until he caught sight of the wings sprouting from his back. Their colors reminded him of the night sky, hints of sparkling like the stars in the sky. His head turned up to see the edge of the halo.

Oh, so he was still dead, but no longer bound by the vengeful grip of his ghost look.

“Oh god Lewis! No!”

A broken voice wailed behind him. There was Arthur. It was as if no time had passed between his disappearance and his unexplained reappearance. Excitement welled inside of him. He’d gotten his wish. Arthur wouldn’t have to be without him anymore. A large smile moved over his face, “Arthur?!”

The blonde must not have heard him, but that didn’t stop him from advancing towards his friend. One arm was stretched out towards him, sobs filling the air. He had to calm the blonde down, “Artie! It’s ok. I’m right-”

He nearly froze when he saw his hand phase through Arthur’s back, “here…”

“Please come back!”

But he did! He was right here! He pulled his hand back, staring down at it. He’d gotten his wish, but he was invisible to the one person who needed him the most. Had he still had his heart, it probably would have been racing. Instead, sadness gripped at him. He was here for Arthur, but at what cost?

“We grant you your wish young one, but your misdeeds can not go unpunished. You shall be his guardian angel, helping him, watching over him, but never seen. Perhaps in time your debt will be paid. Until then, make every use of this chance you have been given.”

[whats-rambled-rambled]

stuck in stories - Nikki

Neil x Reader

summary: 

//I see you with her, and it crushes me inside Guess I should stop thinkin' about you all the time Maybe this is what I needed Maybe this is a sign//

+ song: Tori Kelly - All in my head

warnings: language, utter heartbreak I guess? 

author’s note: another request! This one-shot is a straight-up prequel to the events happening in Stuck in Reverse series. The tipping point in the history of our favourite chaotic idiots, you may say.

Let me know what you think!

___

The atmosphere in the car was volatile. You were determined not to make a scene in front of Wheeler, but as she pulled over to drop Neil off next to his apartment, he exploded first.

“Enlighten me, since when exactly do you have problems with following simple instructions?”

“For fuck’s sake, this is rich, coming from you-” you snarled at him and reached for the doorknob. “Thanks Wheeler, I’ll walk from here.”

You glared at Neil with a silent plea for keeping his mouth shut until you both leave. He pressed his lips together and nodded.

“You sure? It’s pouring,” your colleague glanced at you in the rear-view mirror. You could say that even though she was concerned about your well-being, she would gladly dump the two of you right there, without having to deal with your bullshit any longer.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, see you tomorrow.”

You jumped out of the car the second it stopped. It was bucketing down. The city’s lights were reflecting in huge puddles. The smell of wet asphalt was lingering in the air. In different circumstances, it would be quite mesmerizing.

You didn’t want to talk to Neil. Not right then. You were so ashamed of losing your edge and endangering the mission. And your squad. The sole thought about what could have happened made you nauseous. It would have been your own goddamn fault. Again. You forced yourself to inhale. All you had to do was to start walking to your apartment located a few blocks away. Easy, right?

Not quite so, not with fuming Neil blocking your way, staring at you angrily.

His blue eyes were searching for yours, but you weren't ready to meet them.

You were too afraid of what he might see.

The truth was, part of you’d hoped that Neil would have been pissed enough to let you go. But he was still him, no matter what you’d kept telling yourself over the last weeks.

“What’s going on? Because what’s happened today...that wasn’t you.”

He wasn’t wrong. But he wasn’t exactly right either.

Nevertheless, it was enough for you to build another wall around yourself.

You shrugged and spat out, “Seems like there are so many sides to me that you don’t know, then.”

“Even that is unusually dramatic,” he scoffed, the corner of his lips twitching in more of a reflex than an honest attempt to smile.

You were just so fed up.

You finally looked him in the eyes. “Go to hell Neil,” you sighed and tried to walk around him.

But he wasn’t gonna let it slide that easily.

Neil took a step to the side and blocked you one more time.

“Wow, are you just gonna walk away?” he sneered as he crossed his arms, faint notes of disappointment ringing in the question.

“Any better ideas?” you huffed as you tried to go around him again.

And as you almost succeeded, Neil grabbed your wrist. You held your breath and squinted your eyes shut, desperate to keep your emotions at bay.

“Look at me.”

The soft undertones in his voice made a crack in your walls. You sighed heavily and glanced at him over your shoulder.

Neil didn’t waste that short moment of your attention. He pulled your wrist, making you turn his way as reached for the other one. When he looked at you, you noticed that all anger in his expression was replaced by concern. “Talk to me, please.”

“Oh, now you want to talk?” a laugh escaping your mouth was almost hysterical. Better late than never, but you were too hurt to care at that point. You tried to break away from his grasp and the rain was working in your favor; you managed to wriggle out your wrists, only for Neil to catch your hands firmly a second later.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

His calmness was driving you crazy and you snapped.

“I haven’t seen you in weeks!”

The accusation hit him hard. For a moment Neil loosened his hold, but then he squeezed your hands again. His brows furrowed as he opened his mouth to protest, you didn’t want to hear it though.

You winced. “Don’t say anything, I get it.”

You kept seeing each other at work, after all. What else did you need? When he wasn’t on assignments, he spent every moment with his girlfriend. That was understandable. It was also the first year you’d spent your holiday alone. But he’d been busy renovating Nikki’s apartment. What was most important though, he was so happy and you didn’t want to bother him or dump your problems on him. You could handle yourself. Most of the time, anyway.

And now he wanted to talk.

You didn’t even know what could you possibly start with. The sleepless nights? The worrying news from home? Or maybe the toll the Canada missions had taken on your body and your mental health? Or simply the fact that you’d been lonely and you were missing your best friend? Even when he was standing right there in front of you?

Neil’s thumbs were gently stroking your knuckles, his worried eyes never left yours.

Your chest was clenched so hard you could barely breathe.

“It’s just too much,” you started, fighting for every word to make it past the lump in your throat. You chuckled bitterly at the sudden thought. It was quite accurate, doubly so with that bloody weather. “It feels like I’m drowning.”

And like nobody cared. 

As if he could hear the last thought, Neil pulled your hands to his chest and smiled sadly.

“I’m right here.”

...but was he really? You bit your lower lip to stop it from trembling and let out a shaky breath.

A hint of pain clouded Neil’s expression as he urged you softly, “Let’s talk it over, okay? Come inside, and-” a sudden frown on your face sparked a slight panic in his mind. “...or not, we can go anywhere, we’ll get some tea or we’ll order drinks and get shitfaced, whatever you need, just please-”

“Babe, what are you doing here? ...Oh, hi Y/N.”

You didn’t know what hurt more. How quickly Neil let go of your hands and took a step back when his girlfriend approached the both of you. Or watching Nikki placing a long kiss on his lips.

Or the way she looked at you after that.

And to think that you used to be friends.

It was hard not to like her though. She was pretty as a doll and insanely charismatic – and she knew how to use both of those to her advantage. She strolled through life as it was one big party, with everyone around her being there to cater to her every need.

But hey, maybe you were just jealous.

Nikki’s eyes were darting between Neil and you from under the umbrella. Finally, she pouted and shot him a disapproving look. “We need to leave in 10 minutes and you look like a disaster.”

Neil smacked his tongue as he flashed his teeth in frustration.

“Jesus, it’s Wednesday already...”

“Yes babe, and we are supposed to be at my parents’ in an hour, so chop chop! Sorry, Y/N.” she grimaced and gestured towards the building’s door.

Neil’s shoulders slumped as he weighed all the choices in his head. You could see how torn he was.

It was more than you could take.

“It’s fine. You shouldn’t be late,” you forced a weak smile on your face, trying to cover the hollowness of your voice. “See you at work.”

You waved your hand and started walking. Soaked to the skin. Shivering, but you weren’t sure if it was from the cold or the exhaustion. Or from the broken heart.

Suddenly, you heard footsteps behind you.

“Wait!”

You stopped, blinking rapidly, so Neil wouldn’t see your tears.

You turned around.

Neil was clearly battling with himself for a moment, but then he placed both hands on your arms.

“Are we okay?” he asked, locking his gaze with yours.

You sighed.

“Neil...”

He shook his head and squeezed your arms slightly.

“I need to know.”

The determination in his blue eyes was tainted with sadness, and it made the pit in your chest grew an inch.

You nodded and gave him a weak smile. “We’re okay.”

Neil exhaled shakily as he brushed a wet strand of hair from your face.

“How about you?” he asked softly, cupping your cheek with his palm.

That gesture brought you on the verge of breaking down. You wanted nothing more but to embrace him, to feel his arms wrapped around you tightly, to hide your face in the crook of his neck, and to forget about the whole world even for just a second.

You caught the sight of Nikki standing in front of their apartment’s door and looking in your direction.

It took all your strength not to choke on the lump in your throat.

You put your hand on his chest. His heart was pounding heavily under your fingers.

“I will be,” you whispered. “Go back to her.”

_____

“Thank you, I didn’t know where else to go.”

“Of course,” said TP as he closed the door. A quick look at your puffy eyes, the pale face, and your trembling hands was enough for him to assess the situation. He took your coat and motioned for you to follow him further into his hotel room. “Towel? G&T? Pizza?”

You chuckled lightly.

“Yes to all, thanks.”

After a few minutes, you were no longer dripping all over the floor. As you rested on an armchair, your boss handed you a drink.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you anyway,” he said, sitting down on a sofa.

Your heart sank in your chest.

“Am I in trouble?”

“You tell me,” his eyebrow raised at the sight of a puzzled look on your face. “What’s up with you two?”

Oh, that.

You shook your head and tightened your grip on the drink.

“Nothing.”

He scoffed. “This nothing almost cost us a mission today.”

“I’m sorry. It’s not gonna happen again,” you sighed. God, you were so embarrassed.

TP hummed, taking a sip of his drink. “I sure as hell hope so.”

He was still waiting for the answer though.

You fixed your eyes on your glass. You couldn’t bullshit your way out of this one. You trusted him and you knew whatever you were going to say, it would never leave this room. And that thought was enough. “It’s just… I don’t know how much longer I can endure this.”

His dark eyes were scanning your face.

“Is Neil really just a friend?”

Bullseye.

You sighed and closed your eyes.

“I see,” he said, a corner of his lips curling into a knowing smile.

The void in your chest was eating you alive. You knew what you needed to do.

You just had to say it.

“Reassign me.”

TP leaned on his seat. He wasn’t surprised. Just concerned. “Are you sure?”

“No,” you mumbled. You were lightheaded. You hoped that making this decision would lift some weight out of your chest. Quite the opposite, though. “But it hurts… every god awful day it hurts. More and more,” you said quietly as you looked in the dark eyes with determination. “And I can’t risk today’s disaster happening ever again.”

Your boss nodded.

“You gonna tell him?”

Oh god. Even thinking about that was more than you could handle. You shook your head and downed your drink.

“And if he asks?”

“I don’t know,” - you shrugged - “tell him you couldn’t find anybody better for that position?”

TP smirked. “Ah, standard operating procedure, then.”

“Hey now!” you snorted, but a shade of smile appeared on your lips.

And that was enough for him. “I’ll see to it. If that’s really what you want.”

You had no other choice.

“Thank you.”

You just hoped that one day you would be able to forgive yourself.

...And that one day Neil would forgive you, too.

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

What a Time to be Alive - Diego Hargreeves x reader Season I

Chapter 4- Man on the Moon

*Smut ahead, wink wink

Summary: So you got your ass handed to you last night, but it wasn’t a complete loss of an evening. Now here you are with Diego and Luther, searching in a library for Five.

Tagged: @sambucky8 @white-wolf-buckaroo @2cuteforyourlies @la-vie-en-amour1 @fandomoverlord221 @thatfandombitcch @alonewolfsblog @starrrybarnes

You wake up tangled next to Diego, the sun is shooting a warm ray on his back, as you feel a heavy limb pressed against your face and realize it’s just his arm. Gosh what a bed hog. You nudge him in the stomach with your fingers, when he doesn’t appear to react you tickle his arm that’s currently trapping you. He squirms away, bringing his arm with him, trailing it across your face and evidently messing up your hair.

“Thank you for that.” You mutter as he wakes up, sucking in a large breath. “Good morning to you too, grumpy.” He smiles, turning himself to the side as he props his head up by his right elbow to better look at you. You fake scowl, doing the same. “We’re gonna have to make a pit stop at subway or something cause I could eat a whole village right now.” You whine, dramatically laying back down on your pillow. Diego laughs at your early morning theatrics, you suddenly throw the blanket away from you and launch yourself over Diego. “I gotta piss, be back.” You yelp, racing to the bathroom to relieve yourself. Diego watches you take off with a giant smile plastered onto his handsome face.

While drying your hands, your mind subconsciously wanders to the pleasant shower you and Diego had last night. You could honestly have gone for a round two when you made it to your bedroom, but Diego looked exhausted so you let him sleep. But it just so happens that he’s awake and not tired at the moment, hmm interesting. You open the door and make your way back into the room, where Diego is laying on his back while staring up at the ceiling. “Hey Diego, real question? Would you be up for a continuation of last nights shower?” You ask him, standing a couple feet from the bed, his eyes grow wider. His princely face breaking out into a smug grin. “If you think you’re up for it.” He shoots back, throwing the covers away from him, sitting himself up on the edge of the mattress.

You grin back at that little comment, holding all the information you need to know that your man’s down to party. Taking him by surprise you launch yourself into the bed, rugby tackling Diego into the mattress. He lets out a huff, about to protest his annoyance when you start to kiss his exposed neck. Making a sweet trail of butterfly kisses up to his jawline, up to both of his cheeks, and finally a deep one on his lips.

He moans in delight as his hands snake around your sides, feeling you up and down, “Y/N you’re wild...but hmm... you do...things to me babe.” He purrs in between kisses. You love taking him off guard at any given opportunity, ranging from random jump scares to tackling him with your own means of loving affection. Although right now you really want some friction, so to satisfy this new craving of yours, you lay completely body to body on Diego. You’re both still clothed but now you can tease him a bit by lightly grinding into his growing bulge. Another sweet and guttural moan is pulled from his needy lips as you press your clothed lady bits over him once again, and again, and again. It’s getting you hot and driving Diego insane. He suddenly flips you onto your back in one fluid motion, you let out a surprised yelp and begin laughing when your head hits the pillow.

“A simple, take your pants off would have done it.” You tell him as he hovers over top of you, breathing heavily and noticeably shirtless. He leans down to kiss you, “Yeah well it was nice to hear you scream.” You snort at that as you roll your eyes, “You’re an idiot.” You whisper playfully in his ear, while you start to palm him through his boxers. His snarky comeback abruptly catches in his throat as he’s taken off guard by your fondling. You’re thoroughly enjoying how you’re making Diego squirm underneath your skilled touch. But you know too well he’ll take the reins in no time, and a few moments later he breaks from your heated kiss to lean back away from you. You’re about to protest at the sudden loss of contact, when he begins to pull your sweatpants down your legs. So that’s where we’re going, you think with a smirk. You lift your butt up to better help him get them off of you, and when they’re finally off he flings them across the room. “I’m gonna need to find those later.” You sass, he just smirks as he leans back into you to shut you up with a chaste kiss.

He ever so casually pulls your legs up to straddle you, tugging at your underwear while your lips are locked. You smile into the kiss, knowing exactly what he wants. “You’re in a compromising position..I can’t get them off from here.” You mumble into his lips, Diego reaches an arm out to grab something on the nightstand. You don’t care enough to pay any attention, that is, until a blade is lightly pressed against your hip, Diego cutting off your underwear. You laugh as he quickly rips them off of you, now forgotten somewhere on the floor. “That’s one way to do it.” You muse, while he sets the knife down, getting back to business which consists of taking off your shirt. You’re glad he doesn’t go to cut this one off considering Klaus bought it for you and it’s a favorite of yours.

He tugs it off the rest of the way, throwing it about the room elsewhere, his nimble finger immediately begin massaging your exposed breasts. You let out a pleased moan, that’s pure music to his hears. You grind your naked womanhood into Diego’s thin boxers turning him on even more, by now you’re soaked and about to lose it if Diego doesn’t start discarding his own clothes. To give him a not-so-subtle hint, you buck your bare hips up into his boxers, that are currently doing nothing helpful by trapping his obvious erection. He breaks from your heated embrace to lean his forehead against yours, “Alright, alright...I’m on it.” He chuckles at your neediness, as he finally pulls off his tight boxers. You bite your lip and hold in an excited moan when you see his cock springing out from its previous constraints. Diego then leans himself further down your body, starting to kiss up from your abdomen onto your stomach, between your heaving breasts and up to your neck. God he’s such a tease, always taking his good old time, revving you up with every second he’s not inside you. It’s almost torture.

At long last he makes it to your wanting lips, while you spread your legs apart even wider, granting him open access to what you’re absolutely craving. He holds himself up by his forearms as you reach out one hand to help guide his manhood into you. Once he reaches your slick entrance Diego knows exactly what to do next. You hold onto the sheets as he pushes himself fully into your core, filling you up to the brim. You let out a shaky breath as he begins to slowly thrust into you, his face hovers above yours, eyes closed in deep concentration at how he wants to move. He continues to pull in and out of you over and over again. Leaving you almost breathless each time, suddenly he begins to amp up the pace, much to your delight. Diego pounds into you with deep powerful thrusts that rock your whole body, you let out a moan as you dig your nails into his muscular back for better support. He kisses your shoulder while he pins you down to the mattress with his muscular body that’s rocking into you with gusto. The bed is shaking and the sweet sounds of sex are dissipating throughout the entire apartment. Diego’s heartbeat is thudding against his chest with each stroke, it’s a beautiful symphony in your ears that’s truly sending you places.

“Ah, fuck Y/N I’m getting close.” He grunts while continuing to pound into you. You can’t even fathom a coherent sentence with how he’s making you feel right now. Your pussy throbs with each thrust, the sensations pulling you towards your high. Without warning Diego hits your sweet spot sending you into a wave of pure pleasure, you don’t remember screaming out his name but the words leave your mouth anyways. Your walls tighten against his hard cock in reaction to your orgasm, further wetting the already messy bed sheets, he lets out a loud moan as he cums a few moments after you. Releasing his load into your hot sex all at once, he then gives in a couple more sloppy thrusts for good measure. Before slowly pulling out of you and falling onto the mattress to your left, your entrance is left dripping with some of his warm cum that runs off of you and onto the bed sheets. You ignore the fact that you’re gonna have to change the sheets before you leave later, while you turn to face a sweaty Diego. Who’s already looking at you with a dumbass smile on his stupid cute face. “I thoroughly enjoyed that, if I may add.” He tells you as he reaches out a hand to remove a strand of hair in your face that’s blocking you from properly seeing him. “I don’t remember but I might have screamed once or twice...my brain shuts off when you’re working your wonders.” He chuckles at your truthful comment, it’s not your fault he fucks up your thinking when he’s that deep inside you. Your mind no longer wants to function anymore. Diego’s dick game is that strong, but hell no would you ever fully admit that, his ego does not need anymore boosting.

For the next forty minutes the two of you just cuddle and talk about the most random and insignificant of things that come to mind. Until you look over at the time and decide you should probably get up, it’s still morning but you’ve got important Hargreeves family business to deal with at the Academy. Begrudgingly you pull away from Diego, kissing him before you stand up, walking naked over to your clothes. He props himself up on his elbow, watching you move in adoration. You force yourself to concentrate on putting on your clothes, ignoring Diego’s prying eyes with all your willpower. Once you’re done changing you turn around to face him, “Enjoying the view? Here put some clothes on we got shit to do today.” You quip while throwing him his boxers and some pants. He gets off of the bed, putting on his boxers while you go and find your boots.

“I can’t believe how much red was coming off of you in the shower last night.” Says Diego who’s now putting on a clean dark shirt. You purse your lips together, sitting on the edge of a chair, intently concentrating on tying up your boots. “It happens when you’re practically a human battering ram.” You deadpan, finishing the knot as you fold your arms looking up at Diego. He smirks at that, “Hey, so. What do you think about those crazy masked psychopaths last night? They really gave us a run for our money, huh?” He wonders, as he sits back down on the bed, sliding on his own boots, you get up and walk over to sit next to him. You hug your sides with a frown, “I have a strong suspicion that they have to do with Five. I’d just like to know where the hell he’s been off gallivanting to?”

“Good question. Guess we better head out, and figure out what the fuck is going on.” He stands up, reaching his hand out for you to take. In one swift motion he pulls you up, unintentionally slamming yourself right into his chest. “Jesus, Diego.” You huff, he just laughs holding your face gently, leaning down to kiss you. You give in, wrapping your hands around his muscular waist, pulling him in closer. He smiles into the kiss, reaching down to lightly squeeze your bum. You gasp at the sudden contact, he takes the opportunity to stick his tongue into your mouth, cheeky bastard. But you’d be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t enjoying this. It’s the small sweet moments with him amongst the chaos that makes you fall for him deeper and deeper every day.

You pull back, his face following yours, he pouts as you smirk at him, “I’m truly debating if we should continue this...again, but we have a mystery to solve, Detective Diego-black-is-my-favorite-color-Hargreeves.” He chuckles at your teasing comment, pecking you on the lips once again. “Okay. Fine. Let’s go see what my idiot family has got in store for us today.” He whines, breaking away from your touch to find his knife belt slash vest type thing. You walk over towards the door, putting on your jacket as you wait for him to get ready.

——

The both of you walk into the Academy, you stopping dead in your tracks to listen closely for movement. Diego walks right into you, “What the...” you shush him, “I’m trying to find Luther, shut up.” He keeps his mouth shut long enough for you to hear the sounds of Luther rummaging around upstairs in Five’s room. “Gotcha.” You smirk, grabbing Diego’s hand as you pull him up the wooden stairs.

The two of you start walking down the hallway, you in the lead, “He’s in Five’s room. With Pogo.” You add, continuing down the dimly lit hallway that you were getting shot in just yesterday. You let Diego take the lead, as he walks into Five’s room first, you right next to him. “What are you doing here?” Demands Diego, Pogo and Luther turning in surprise by your random appearance. Luther looks like a kid caught doing something he shouldn’t be, he slowly rises from looking into Five’s drawers, “Uh. Do you guys know about Mom?” He questions, fixating the conversation away from his current situation.

Diego glances down for a moment, “Well, it looks like you got what you wanted, one way or another, right?” He sasses, fed up with Luther always seeming to get what he wants.

“Wanna tell me what you’re both doing here?” Luther asks, redirecting the subject once again. “Looking for Five.” You answer, while leaning your back against the wardrobe. He shifts his gaze to you, “Let me guess, Diego’s gonna save the day.” He grumbles. “It’s what we do. Asshole.” Diego snaps, before you have a chance to clap back at Luther.

“Really? Last I checked, you mopped floors. And Y/N teaches people how to box. At least she’s got that going for her.” He remarks, you scowl in annoyance. Diego snapping around to challenge him, “And what do you do? Sit on the moon....for four years, waiting for orders?” Pogo suddenly speaks up, trying his best to stop something bad from happening, “Boys. This won’t help us find Five.”

Diego ignores him, stepping closer to Luther, “Keep on being a loyal soldier after everything our father did to you.”

“What? You mean save my life?” Luther says, matter-of-factly, a flash of aggravation creeping into his eyes. God here we go.

Diego leans against the side of the wardrobe, a foot or two away from your right shoulder. “No, I mean.....turn you into a monster.” He says honestly, pushing Luther’s buttons, as he looks up defiantly at his larger brother. “Diego.” You hiss at him, a second later Luther punches a hole through the wood, inches from both of your faces. You don’t even flinch, “Nice one.” You mutter, walking around the two of them, as they continue their little matcho stare down.

“Can’t hide it anymore, champ.” Diego tells him, unflinching from Luther’s brief act of aggression. “He had a difficult decision to make, and he made it.” Luther argues back while pulling his fist out of the broken wardrobe door.

Diego shakes his head, “Grow up, Luther. We’re not 13 anymore.” You stand by Pogo rolling your eyes, they’re like actual children.

“That’s what leaders do, by the way.”

“He sent you on that mission all alone. Almost got you killed.” Diego persists, egging on a frustrated Luther further. “Yeah, well at least he was there. Where were you? You and everyone else in this family? Y/N included. You walked out.”

“And thank Christ that we did, or I would have ended up just, like, you.” Jabs Diego, pointing his glove covered finger at Luther, “Let me ask you a question. When you watch one of those nature shows..” You make a disgusted face, knowing exactly where he’s going with this.

“Please don’t.” You groan.

“Does it turn you on?” Diego finishes, trying to get a real reaction from Luther. “So what? Is he just an animal to you, too now, Diego, huh?” Luther accuses, pointing to Pogo, the tension in the room at an all time high.

“Enough!” Shouts Pogo, offended and defeated with how these two have been acting. You decide now’s a good time as ever to lay into them about it.

“Seriously? The Academy was attacked, I was shot multiple times and the rest of you are lucky to still be alive. Grace sadly wasn’t. Not to mention, Five is still MIA, and this is the shit I gotta deal with right now.” You cross your arms in irritation, “You’re both acting like angry little 6 year olds. Take it elsewhere.....Now.” You growl, sick of how both of them have been so moody towards each other. Pogo gives you a slight nod of approval, grateful that at least someone here as any sense.

Luther and Diego go silent, the two of them looking anywhere but your harsh gaze. The both of them embarrassed and annoyed at one another for taking it too far. “Sorry Y/N n’ Pogo.” They both mumble, avoiding eye contact with the two of you. They promptly exit Five’s room, Diego knowing you’re too pissed to have a conversation with right now.

You listen as they disperse down the hallway, “What is wrong with those two? Honestly.” You wonder shaking your head at Pogo. He shrugs, equally as befuddled. “Well, thank you anyways, they needed a stern talking to.” He smiles at you. “Problem is, I need them if I want to find Five. Well....technically I could do it on my own but...uh....that would not sit well with Diego.” You add, saying goodbye to Pogo as you walk out the door in search of those two idiots.

All you have to do is follow their scent down the hallway and then down the stairs to the front room. “So, are you two ready to play nice.” You retort while walking down the wooden staircase. Diego following your every move, “I guess, we can manage.” He mutters, pursing his lips together. You grin at the two of them, “Good. Let’s go find Five.”

——

The three of you walk down the street, towards the last place Luther had seen the stolen van Five was hiding out in. And there it is, parked nonchalantly in front of some hospital. “This is it. He’s still here. This is Five’s Van. Go. Go.” Rambles Luther, ushering you both towards the vehicle, as he makes a sad attempt at opening the locked door. Diego stepping up, by taking out a dagger and lock picking the door with ease. You stand behind them and watch in amusement as Diego opens the door, only for them to both move to get in at the same time. Luther announcing that he’s Number One so therefore he gets a free pass to get in first, Diego turns around to give you a look. You just shrug.

Diego and you jump into the back, scouring the small area for any clues as to Five’s whereabouts. Diego finding Vanya’s book with a ton of notes written in it, including where the book actually came from. The Argyle Public Library. “I know where to find Five.” Diego announces to the two of you.

“When was the last time you were in a public library? Oh right, since never.” You tell Diego bluntly, bursting out with a loud laugh at the end. Luther giving a small snort from his spot in the front seat, Diego just glares at you, mouthing a silent, “I’ll get you for this.” With the least menacing face you’ve ever seen.

——

Making your way into the giant public city library, you stand in front of Diego and Luther, as you take in your surroundings. “Let’s split up.” States Luther. “Wow. Good thinking.” Retorts Diego sarcastically. You chuckle lightly at their brotherly banter. “Yell if you get lost. Or don’t, I don’t care either way.” You mumble sarcastically, turning left to walk up the stairs, Diego following you. Luther taking the right staircase, helping to cover more ground.

You and Diego search the first floor, then the second, and finally you make it to the top. Meeting back up with Luther, who looks as puzzled at you two. “Anything?” He wonders, lost as to where Five could be. “No.” You and Diego reply bluntly. “Y/N, can’t you just hear him....or sniff him out.....like a bloodhound.” He carefully asks you. Sighing you go to answer, “To many people in one area. It’s already loud in here, as it is. Not to mention full of many, less then wonderful scents floating around.” You tell him, while leaning against a nearby cement wall. Diego holds onto the balcony railing, watching people go about their business. You turn to Luther with a shrug as you turn around to carry on your search for Five. Luther nods to you, turning around in the opposite direction in search of Five as well. You stroll down a new isle of bookshelves, deciding to try and concentrate on hyper focusing your hearing and sense of smell. Maybe that will help you find him quicker.

“You wanna know why I left?” Diego starts, choosing now as a good time to explain things to his brother, while you’re off wandering around for his other one.

Luther stops walking, turning himself around to face Diego, “What? What are you talking about?” He scrunches his face up clearly befuddled, Diego continues, “Why I left the Academy.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you couldn’t handle me being Number One.” Luther says, walking closer to Diego, who’s now leaning his back against the balcony.

“No. Because that’s what you do when you’re 17....and in love. And she’s way more appealing then anyone else.....So you move out, become your own person, grow up.” Diego explains, finally revealing his true motives for abandoning the hero lifestyle with the Umbrella Academy.

“Yeah, you’re a real grown-up.” Replies Luther dryly.

“At least I make my own decisions. You’ve never had to hold down a job. Pay bills.” Diego pauses for a moment thinking of something that would make Luther tick, “You ever even been with a girl?” He questions smiling, Luther snapping his head up at Diego at that alarming personal question. “I...I don’t know what you’re talking about..”

“Look, you wanna blame me, blame us for leaving first...and then the others...that’s okay. But maybe you’re asking yourself the wrong question. Maybe it’s not about why we left.” Diego pauses for a second letting the words sink into Luther, “Maybe it’s about why you stayed.” Luther’s brows furrow in frustration as he walks closer to Diego, “I stayed because the world needed me.” Diego shakes his head, “You stayed because you couldn’t let go of the way things used to be. The Academy. Dad. With Allison......Dad’s dead. Mom too, now. We’re orphans again, dude.” He walks away from the balcony, turning around to face Luther, “And things are never gonna go back to the way they used to....be.”

“Do you ever stop talking.” Luther cuts in, done with this brotherly therapy session. But before Diego has time to reply you burst into the open area, out from the hallway. They turn to you quickly, “I found him.” You give them a knowing smile, they follow you down the hall in collective confusion.

“Is he, um..?” Ponders Luther, not completely believing you just found Five drunk in a public library holding half a mannequin, an empty beer bottle, and laying among books and writings scribbled on the cement wall behind him.

“Drunk as a skunk.” Replies Diego smiling in amusement at Five’s current state of being.

“Yeah.” You whisper, walking over to pick him up.

——

You’re not certain what the actual time is, but by now it’s dark out, your favorite time of the day. The night air is cool and misty, and the city lights illuminate off of the dark blacktop of the alleyway. The one you’re currently walking down, along with Diego who’s to your upper left. And Luther who’s in between you and Diego, begrudgingly trailing along as he carries a conscious but drunk Five in his muscular arms.

“Well, we can’t go back to the house. It’s not secure. Those psychopaths could be back at any moment.” Worries Luther, still holding Five.

“Our place is closer. No one will look for him there” You add, referring to yours and Diego’s apartment.

Five burps loudly, Luther giving him a warning look, “If you vomit on me..”

“You what’s funny? Aah! I’m going through puberty.” He scoffs, “Huh. Twice. And I...I drank that whole bottle, didn’t I ? That’s what you do when the world you love goes bye-bye. Poof, it’s gone.....What are you guys talkin’ about?” Five wonders.

“Two masked intruders attacked the Academy last night.” Answers Luther.

“They came looking for you. So I need you to focus. What do they want?” Demands Diego, fed up with all the crap you and him had to deal with last night.

“Hazel and Cha-Cha.” States Five tiredly. Diego turning quickly to look at him. “Who?”

“You know, I hate code names.” Whines Luther.

“Ah, the best of the best. Except for me of course.” Chuckles Five, letting out a single hiccup.

“Let me guess, assassins?” You ask him, pretty darn certain you’re right. “Wow, Y/N. Someone pays attention to details.” Applauds Five, starting to ramble on about how Dolores doesn’t like it when he drinks. Diego having enough of his shenanigans whips around to face him, “Hey! I need you to focus. What do this Hazel and Cha-Cha want?”

Five gives Diego the goofiest grin you’ve ever seen as Diego continues to try and reason with him, “We just wanna protect you.”

“Protect me. I don’t need your protection, Diego. Do you have any idea how many people I’ve killed?” States Five, Diego answering with a quiet no, glancing to you for a second. “I’m the Four frickin’ Horsemen. The apocalypse is coming.” He blurts out, right before turning his head over Luther’s muscular arm, and vomiting on the wet pavement.

“Lovely.” You groan in disgust, Diego and Luther looking away from the scene, equally as grossed out.

——

Finally inside your boiler room apartment, you set Dolores down by the coatrack. Diego standing next to you, as Luther gently lays a mumbling Five onto the bed. “Uh...hmm...they probably had sex here.....gross.” Mutters Five as he falls asleep almost instantly, Luther holds in a laugh the best he can, as not to wake him. You stand up snickering at Five’s subconscious comment about your place. Diego gives you an odd look, blissfully clueless as to what Five just whispered a second ago. Right, Diego can’t hear nearly as well as you can.

“Five just said it was gross that he’s sleeping on our bed, cause we probably fucked there.” You explain, holding in laughter the whole time. Diego’s eyes go wide for a moment, before something else flashes inside them. “And we most definitely did, this morning in fact.” He says lowly in your ear, sending chills down your spine. You look up at him, staring deeply into his chocolate eyes. “That makes it even worse.” You deadpan, “But we’re not telling him that.” You finish, giving him a quick peck on the lips, before turning towards Luther, who’s watching Five.

“Funny. If I didn’t know he was such a prick, I’d say he looks almost adorable in his sleep.” Whispers Diego, gazing down at Five’s oddly peaceful form.

“Well, don’t worry. He’ll sober up eventually. Be back to his normal, unpleasant self.” Says Luther, dreading when that moment may be.

“We can’t wait that long.” You mutter, thinking about how he’s involved with these crazy assassins.

“Exactly, I need to find out what his connection is with these lunatics before someone else dies.” Adds Diego, in sync with what’s on your mind.

“All that stuff he was saying before...What do you think he meant by that?” Wonders Luther, you suddenly hear footsteps approaching.

“Someone’s coming.” You quietly blurt out, Diego turns to you before moving into action. He takes out a knife as he swiftly walks up to the door, giving the two of you a nod, he turns the handle, holding up his knife. “You throw another one of those goddamn knives at me, I’m pressin’ charges.......Or even betta’ I’ll have Y/N take that knife and put it where the sun don’t shine on ya.” Grumbles Al, the boxing gym’s owner.

“What do you want, Al?” Asks Diego, less then enthusiastically, letting the old grump into the apartment. “I ain’t your guys’ secretary. Some lady called for you two, said she needs your help.”

“What lady?” Probes Diego, lost as to who Al could be referring to.

“I dunno. Some, uh, detective. I think she said her name was, uh, Blotch or somethin’.” Rambles Al.

“Patch?”

“Uh, Yeah. She needs you to meet her at that motel, a dump on Calhoun. About a half hour ago.” He says, reading it off a piece of paper.

You share a startled look with Diego, “Oh shit, Patch.” You whisper.

“Uh, oh and something else. She said she found your brother.” Al tells you, turning around and promptly exiting your apartment.

You share another worried look with Diego, “Well, that didn’t make sense.” He says, thinking for a moment.

Suddenly the three of you get a look of realization, “Klaus.” You and Diego then book it out the door.

——

You smell the metallic scent of blood, radiating from a nearby open motel door. A few rooms down from where you and Diego are standing. You push forward, not sensing any signs of life, as you walk up to the open door. You look inside to find, your friend Eudora laying dead on the carpeted floor. A bullet wound in the center of her chest, you race over to her, kneeling down next to her body as Diego does the same.

“Shit. Why didn’t she wait for us.” You whisper yell, angry and in shock that this happened. Diego gently lifts her face up, stunned that his longtime friend is laying lifeless before him. “It had to have been those masked fuckers.” He hisses, upset that neither of you could have been here to prevent this.

“Goddammit, those fucking bastards.” You scream pounding on the floor in frustration. A moment later you hear the call of police sirens in the distance. Never a moment of peace. Taking in a shaky breath you reach out to touch Diego’s arm, “Police. We gotta go.” He looks up at you sadly, giving a gloomy nod, the both of you stand up and make a swift escape out the door and out of sight.

[flowerbinniee]

partition - ceo!tom holland ft. harrison osterfield

title: partition

summary: while harrison drives you and tom back to your hotel after a late night, the big, bad ceo decides to be a little shit and not keep his hands (or mouth) to himself.

pairing: ceo!tom holland x pa!reader (mentioned haz x reader)

word count: 1111

warning(s): smut, car sex (riding tom in the backseat), hints of dom!tom, allusions/mentions to threesome or polyamory [let me know if i missed anything!]

a/n: this is a long time overdue, and i did not at all follow the teaser i posted ages ago. i have not written smut in a long time, and it’s very obvious here. i’m so sorry. the ending was really rushed, too.

“Tommy,” you giggle against his mouth, red lipstick smearing because of the friction. “Tommy, if we keep this up, we won’t make it back to the room.” Through the rearview mirror, you catch Haz’s lusty gaze. “Plus, I think we’ve teased poor Hazzy enough.”

His grip tightens on your ass, and the indent of his rings dig into the flesh. “Fuck that.” He grins evilly at his best friend and chauffeur. “This can serve as payback for that stunt you both pulled in Dubai last month.”

It’s time for Harrison to smirk. “Oh, come on, mate. I couldn’t just leave our little babydoll all whiny like that. She was practically begging me to fuck her over that armchair.”

Tom muttered something akin to “piss off” before yanking you into another kiss. This one, like many others you’ve shared, was all teeth and tongue. Hot, heady, and passionate. “Fuck, Tommy,” you whine while you press the fabric of your dripping panties against his crotch. “Need you so bad.”

“Yeah, love? Need me to stretch out that pretty little pussy?” He grunted. “Make you feel nice and full?” Eyes fluttering closed, you nod and blindly reach for his belt. Tom, meanwhile, busies himself with hooking a finger into the waistband of your panties and drags them down your legs. “Don’t need these anymore,” he absently mutters.

Once you get his belt undone enough to get those fucking pants off now, holy shit, Tom chuckles lowly and lifts his hips up to help you remove the intruding material. You drag his pants and those black Calvin Klein boxers he knows drive you insane down just enough for that hard, pretty cock to spring to life. Much like he did with your panties.

“God, Tommy, I’ll never get tired of your cock. ‘s fucking gorgeous,” you tell him as you take it gently into your hand. It’s searing to the touch and throbbing with the beat of his heart.

“I certainly hope not,” he grins, and the two of you hear Harrison groan from the driver’s seat. “The faster you get us to the hotel, mate, the faster you can join us.” He swirls his fingertip against your clit as he’s taunting Haz, rubbing it into little circles.

“Shit!” You cry out. “Darling, has anyone ever told you that you’re an asshole?”

“It’s been brought a few times, yes.”

“Cheeky bastard,” you grit as you shuffle your body to hover your sex over Tom’s. Spitting into your hand, you lather Tom’s cock with it, and he screws his eyes shut tight.

“Fuck, you tease,” he growls. You pump your hand languidly up and down the full eight-and-a-half inches. “If I’m going to cum, kitten, it’s not going to be in your hand.”

“Impatient,” you tease. “I’m just getting you ready for the main event.”

He growls low in his throat, and he slides a large hand into your hair, gripping the base. He leans up to kiss you again, but he strangely takes his time with this one. There’s no rush, it tells you, We’ve got time. It’s definitely softer than the earlier ones of the night. Then, that devious mouth of his trails down your jaw, your throat, to press kisses where he knows will get even more wet for him. If that was possible. You stop your motion on him, and you slowly press your pussy onto his cock. The feeling of him slipping inside you, the overwhelming heat between your bodies, is unimaginable and unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. Sure, you and Tom had slept together multiple times before, but this time felt different. You couldn’t quite place it. The burn of his girth stretching your tight walls is a very welcome, very familiar feeling. Zaps of pleasure make their way up your spine as he continues to push inside you.

“How does that feel, baby?” Tom asks once you’re fully seated on his cock, his voice strained.

“So, ahh, good, Tommy. Fuck, baby, you’re so big,” you gasp, both hands moving to grip his shoulder. “Oh, shit!” You lift your hips up as his hands roam your back. He helps you press yourself back down, and you both let out moans of pleasure. “Feel so full, Tommy, fuck.”

“Yeah?” He grunts as his hands finally settle on your hips. He drags you up and pushes you back down until you find a rhythm comfortable for the two of you. “Feel me all the way inside your pussy? Hitting that we know drives you wild?” He bucks his hips up hard into and drives into that exact spot, causing you to whimper and grip him tighter. “Huh, baby? You gonna answer me properly?”

“Y-Yes, Tommy, feel you inside. Feels so good,” you moan to him as your hips start to meet in tandem with his. That coil that sits in the pit of your stomach whenever you and Tommy tightens, and desire pools in your cunt.

Heavy pants and hard grunts are the only sounds occupying Tom’s car as you bounce on his cock. Muttered curses and moaned names spill from your lips. “I’m close,” the brunette groans. “Fuck, darling, squeezin’ me so tight.”

“Shit, Tommy, me too. Wanna cum for you so bad,” you pant to your lover as your legs trembled against the seats. “Please, let me cum!”

“Cum for me,” he growls, slamming your hips down and biting his lip when you clench around his cock. “Fuck, Y/N, do that again. Clench that cute little pussy ‘round my dick again.” He slams inside you with a particularly hard thrust.

“Oh, fuck, Tommy!” The coil in the pit of your stomach felt so tight; you could combust any second now. “Please, just a little more. ‘m so close!” You whine to him. He nods, and you feel his hips ramming yours one, two, three times before long moans escape the both of you. As the hazy bliss of your orgasms wash over you and Tom, you press soft little kisses onto whatever skin you could reach (his face, his throat, the top of his chest.

“You two seem to have impeccable timing,” Harrison grunts. “We’re here.” The three of you take a moment to make yourselves decent, you and Tom exiting the car with a mildly flustered Harrison behind you. You can’t contain your laughter when you catch Harrison muttering “horny fucking jack rabbits.”

Taking your husband’s hand, wedding band glinting in the moonlight, you tease your lover. “Don’t worry, Haz. Once we get back to the room, I’m sure Tommy will let you have a turn if you behave like the good boy we both know you are.”

[tipsydipsydo]

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Gender of the Reader: female

Word Count: 1.6k 

Rating: 16+

Genre: Fluff; Smut

AU: non-idol! AU; established relationship AU!

Warnings: soft (!) Dirty Talk; sweetest Taehyung alive; virgin! Reader; Petnames; both of them getting turned on by a sex-scene in a movie; talk about sexual fantasies; mentions of oral (female receiving); mentions of vaginal intercourse; slight talk about boundaries 

Summary: It’s Sunday afternoon and Taehyung and you are watching a romantic historical movie for your quality cuddle time. This movie also includes a sensual & erotic scene which has some kind of effect on both of you. It leads to a talk where Taehyung tells you his dreams and fantasies, what he wants to do with you, whenever you feel ready for this step...

A/N: I think all of you already know that it can take me months until I finish somebody’s birthday present... here you go, my lovely @hantaev​! It turned a little different out than I thought it would but I hope that you like it!! Love you 💕 Status: unedited

Movie Source:

A little Chaos - Trailer 

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「© tipsydipsydo」

This following story is my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!

I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!

That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.

Thank you.

It is a lazy Sunday afternoon, where Taehyung and you decided to watch a movie and cuddle under the mountains of pillows and blankets you hoard in your room, preferably on your bed. Your boyfriend knows that you have a weak spot for everything that takes place in a historical era and includes a more or less dramatic and cheesy lovestory. He doesn’t mind, he loves to see your beautiful face lighten up when he mentions that he found a new movie of Netflix which might raise your interest and you get all exited about it, to watch it here and now.  

For today you both choose the movie “A little chaos” for your weekly couple cuddle time and you enjoy it a lot. The love story, the historical background, the beautiful ball gowns and all of that in the warm arms of Taehyung. It’s simply a perfect afternoon and you couldn’t be happier in this moment. 

The sweet and innocent kisses and touches you shared with each other beforehand, pauses in the moment where the two main protagonists, André and Sabine, gets closer to each other... very close, uhm, up to the point where they begin to undress their lover. Your breath quicken when you feel how Taehyung’s arms pull you tighter against his broad chest. You’re so close to his heart now, you can listen to the rapid beats, faster than usually and you can sense that he got a little nervous by the scenery on the screen as well. His hands still rest well-mannered and behaved on your covered stomach, even though you can almost feel his hesistance to tell you something. 

You get pulled out of your stream of thoughts when soft moans finds their way out of the television speakers and fills the silent room with arousing noises. You gulp harshly and without noticing it by yourself, you rub your thighs together to ease the almost painful ache between your legs. This sweet, nowadays pretty simple lovemaking scene is doing something to your untouched body. You’re still a virgin and didn’t even touched yourself ‘properly enough’ to call it masturbation. You don’t know why it happens to be like that... it just happens? It’s not like you didn’t want to touch yourself because of other reasons, you simply never ‘desired’ to do it. Maybe just until now... now you feel an urge you’ve never felt before and you don’t know to handle it.

Taehyung knows all of that and actually encourage you to take your time until you are ready, he doesn’t want to push you in any way. Actually, he always tell you that you make the rules about your body, your sexuality and your individual experiences and make sure that you don’t feel insecure or pressed by society why you don’t have certain experiences yet, especially according to your age. That’s the reason he makes you feel so comfortable and safe, he always makes sure that you’re fine with every step you both make together in your relationship, your shared adventure. He always asks for your consent, even when it’s just a simple kiss. You love that about him, how gentle and attentive he is, sensing discomfort before you realize you weren’t 100% sure about his suggested step. Endless patience, never getting mad at you when you need more time for the next step than most other peoples. God, you love him so, so much! 

Taehyung reaches out for the Remote Control of the TV to lower the volume a little bit. The rest of the movie and what’s happening after the lovemaking scene blurries into each other, your thoughts can’t focus on the movie anymore, so it doesn’t bothers you.

“Baby... I hope it’s not intruding your personal space if I tell you... if I tell you that I’d cherish your body, when the time has come that you’d be ready for that step... just like André did to Sabine’s. Are you... are you comfortable if I tell you some of my fantasies I have... how I plan to make your first time beautiful and comfortable for you?”, Taehyung rasps mit your ear. His voice dropped significantly a few octaves, giving you the hint that he got the same feeling by watching this erotic and sensual scene just like you. 

A small hum leaves you throat, followed by a soft spoken “Yes”. You bite your lower lip, you’re terribly curious and exited to hear what he has planned for that special moment. 

With your verbal consent, Taehyung continues: “I thought often about how I could make this moment as enjoyable as possible for you... I dreamed about how I’d scatter countless kisses all over your gorgeous body, whispering praises into your ear, telling you how flawless and stunning you look... like my personal incarnate goddess. I know, I’ve never seen you naked before but I can guess that your body will be as beautiful as your wonderful soul. I want to explore you with all my senses. I want to kiss you... I want to taste you. I would love to feel your soft skin underneath my lips and my tongue, pleasing your sensitive spots with kisses, licks and sucks... To make your nipples oversensitive with my mouth before I leave a trail of kisses down your soft belly and go down on you... I hope you don’t mind if I tell you how often I thought about to eat you out, to settle between your soft thighs and please you with my tongue.” 

He pauses for a moment, waiting for your consent to carry on with his monologue. You nod slightly, a quiet “Please tell me more...” leaves your lips. 

“... I want to feel your body. Against my body and underneath my fingertips, admiring your beauty and pleasing you with my digits. I want to see your face twisting in pleasure... I want to treat you so good until you fall apart, so I can catch you when you come down from your high. I want to smell your body. You always smell so good and want to bury my nose in the crook of your neck, into your hair and moan into your ear when we connected our bodies, when I am inside of you... feeling you so snug and tightly wrapped around my length. I hope the fantasies of my daydreams meet your own expectations...”

Taehyung sighs deeply after he drew this images on both of your mind. You think, that his voice just dropped even lower while talking and he can’t deny it, it’s drenched in arousal. But there is no longing, no pressure, no intrusive thought to push you indirectly through this talk to let it finally happen. He is just talking about his fantasies but it’s ‘timeless’, he don’t care if you want to take the next step today or next week or in six months. You realize, you both took a new step, at least somehow. You’re talking about your sexual fantasies but without any expectations that it has to happen anytime soon. 

“...Taehyung?”, you ask with a slightly trembling voice, gnawing on your lower lip. Yes, his spoken words did definitely something to you. Something that you didn’t felt until now and it urges you to take care of. Your body feels so, so hot and the feeling in the pit of your stomach drives you almost insane. Well, you may never have experienced it by yourself yet but you can guess that it’s sexual desire. Also, you know that Taehyung would never take advantage of your inexperience, that’s the reason why you feel so safe in his arms even when your body reactions confuses you a lot. 

“Yes, Honey?”

“...would you... would you mind if we take a new step today... now?”, you ask softly, a little nevousness makes your voice slightly tremble. 

“What kind of new step, Baby?”, Taehyung asks you gently and turn you around, so you can face him. You smile shyly, wetting you’re lips more often as usual and make them look so terribly kissable. 

“Maybe... maybe exploring each other’s body? Only if you want to of course! Maybe undressing each other and feeling the soft skin of the other one underneath our palms... Kissing other body parts than just the lips... making each other feel really good. I- uhm.. right now my body feels like it’s burning inside out and I think only you can take care of it properly... and maybe teach me how I can take care of it in the future as well...”, you mumble, almost wispering it into his ear. 

“...that sounds amazing... are you sure you want this? It wasn’t my intention to cause this to happen when I told you that... you don’t owe me anything, Baby. You know that right?”, he wispers in his hoarse voice back, cupping your face in his hands and looking into your eyes with pure honesty. 

“I know that, Taehyung. I know that you wouldn’t take any advantage of me. I am very thankful for that, really. But I am more than sure that I am ready to go a step further... together with you and your help.” 

“Oh Baby... anything for you. Tell me what you want me to do for you.”

[deobienthusiast]

the first time

• pairing: lee jaehyun (the boyz) x reader

• word count: 1,675 words

• genre: fluff

• warnings: none

• notes: i hope this was good for you anon💜

• requested: yes | no by anon

Serious relationships were not your strong suit, so when you first met Hyunjae you weren’t expecting anything more than a little fling. Each day that you two were together further pulled your heart into a pit of despair that you were for sure would set you up for heartbreak. One day, turned to two, turned to a month, then three months, then seven months. Before you knew it, you were meeting Hyunjae’s family and he yours.

His company became contagious for you, as you always wanted to have him around. Luckily for you, Hyunjae felt the same way. The two of you had fallen head over heels for each other. Soon seven months turned into a year, and you always looked back on your past relationships wanting to thank the others who hurt you for helping you find someone as wholesome and loving as Hyunjae.

Hyunjae had managed to get the whole day off for your anniversary as he had been hinting at a fully planned day.

“Happy Anniversary.” Hyunjae whispered in your ear, wrapping his arms around your waist.

You smiled to yourself, turning in his arms. “Happy Anniversary to you, too.”

He smiled, looking as if there was something else he wanted to say before kissing you.

“Are you ready for today?” He asked you.

“You’ve only been talking about for a month!” You teased making Hyunjae throw his head back and laugh.

“I can’t help it. I literally made sure everything is perfect. Now, you have a spa day today. So you need to get ready, and a car will be here to get you in thirty minutes.” Hyunjae told you.

You nodded as he kissed your forehead, pulling away from you and heading for the door. “Where am I going after that?”

Hyunjae turned to you as he smiled. “That, my dear, is a surprise. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

You whispered out an okay as he got to the door. Once again, he paused as he kept a firm grasp on the door knob. Awaiting him to say something, he gave you another smile before leaving. You watched the door for a moment before going to get ready for your spa day.

Your spa day that Hyunjae had arranged allowed you to take the time to think back on your relationship. There were many things that the two of you shared with each other throughout the course of your time together. He was insanely caring and respectful. Hyunjae was more of a shower than a teller. He enjoyed showing you how he felt through actions rather than words. That was mainly because Hyunjae became too shy to say sweet things. No that you minded. You would be willing to wait a century just to hear him tell you how he feels.

When the car that Hyunjae ordered to take you to the spa dropped you back at your place, you spotted a familiar figure on your porch making you laugh.

“Sunwoo,” you said as you reached for your keys. “Hyunjae isn’t here.”

He nodded. “I know. I’m supposed to take you to him.”

You looked at the pout on his face and snickered. “How much is he paying you?”

Sunwoo snorted. “Not enough.”

A giggle escaped your lips as you opened the door, making your way in and allowing the younger male to follow you. You set down your things before hearing Sunwoo clear his throat.

“Hyunjae wanted me to give this to you.” Sunwoo said as you turned to him.

He handed you a box that was slightly heavy as you took it from him. Opening it, you felt a smile grow on your face as you looked at the outfit in the box. It was an outfit you had noticed when out with Hyunjae. You had gone on and on about how much you liked it but couldn’t get it at the time. You couldn’t believe he managed to remember it.

You thanked the boy in front of you as you went to change. You slipped on the outfit, looking over yourself in the mirror as you grinned. Grabbing your phone and wallet, you made your way down the stairs as Sunwoo looked up from his phone.

“Oh thank god you’re finished getting ready. I thought I’d have to drag you out of here. Hyunjae has been blowing up my phone for the past ten minutes.” Sunwoo said as he grasped your wrist, pulling you out of your house.

He called an Uber and made small talk with you as the two of you waited.

“Do you love Hyunjae?” Sunwoo asked.

You froze at the question as you kicked at the gravel on the ground with the toe of your shoe.

“Of course I do. I think that’s pretty obvious.” You said softly.

Sunwoo smiled. “Good. He loves you, too.”

Your head shot up. “He does?”

“Yeah. He hasn’t told you that yet?”

Shaking your head, Sunwoo paled. “Oh, my bad. I think I may have ruined the surprise.”

You looked at him confused as he flagged down the Uber. He opened the door for you, pushing you into the car as he ignored your multitude of questions that you threw at him about what he just said. Sunwoo gave an address to the driver before waving at you.

“Wait, I thought you said you were coming with me?” You asked him.

He shook his head. “I’ve said too much already. Have fun! Happy Anniversary.”

The car pulled forward as you watched Sunwoo’s figure get smaller and smaller. When he finally disappeared from your view, you turned back around in your seat as you watched the driver.

“Excuse me. Can I ask where you’re taking me?” You asked him.

The driver smiled. “The boy requested that it be a surprise.”

You frowned, wanting to choke Sunwoo out for putting you in a car to an undisclosed location. You watched the buildings and trees blow past you before the driver stopped. Knowing exactly where you were, you went to get out before being stopped.

“Just follow the path. Happy Anniversary!” The driver said.

You nodded at the driver as you stepped out of the car. He gave you one last smile and way before driving off. You watched the car before walking along the path. You knew where you were. Han River. Hyunjae was very good at listening and remembering important points of your relationship, so it didn’t surprise you to know that he was celebrating your relationship at the place you two first met.

You watched your feet carry you along the path before hearing a voice speak.

“If you’re not more careful, you’ll trip.” Hyunjae said.

You lifted your head as he smiled. “Not quite what you said to me when we first met.”

Hyunjae laughed. “Close enough.”

He handed you a bouquet of white lilies, making you smile. You pecked his cheek as he reached for your hand.

“Come on,” He said softly.

The late afternoon air nipped at your skin as you and Hyunjae walked along the river, hand in hand. There was no talking, just comforting silence as you both just enjoyed each other’s company. Every now and then, Hyunjae would look at you and give you the most beautiful, genuine smile you would ever lay your hands on. You both had never been happier than when you were with each other, and you needed to make sure Hyunjae knew that.

You stopped walking, catching Hyunjae’s attention as he looked at you.

“Is everything okay?” Hyunjae asked.

You nodded, looking up at him. “Yeah. I’ve just got a question.”

He nodded, urging you to continue. “You seem like you’ve been wanting to say something to me all day. What is it?”

You watched Hyunjae think about his words as he slowly started speaking. “Yeah, that. I’ve been, uh, this is,”

He stopped himself, sighing as you spoke.

“Is it bad?” You whispered to him.

Hyunjae immediately shook his head. “No! God no! It’s not bad. I just have been trying to find the way to tell you how much you mean to me. I know I’m not insanely vocal about my feelings towards you, and some people can get upset about that. You, however, don’t really seem to get upset about the fact that I don’t tell you how I feel.”

You smiled. “You show me. You don’t have to tell me. You’re a man of actions, Hyunjae, not words.”

“I know. That’s why I worked so hard on this day. I wanted it to be absolutely perfect. I needed it to be, or else what I’m saying would’ve just been useless,” Hyunjae continued. “I love you.”

Your eyes widened as you quietly replied. “You do?”

He nodded. “Yes. I knew I loved you the moment I asked you to be with me. The members always said I acted like a lovesick puppy around you. Half of them were surprised you hadn’t noticed.”

“Well, I mean. I kind of did. I’ve known I loved you for a while. I just didn’t want to say it and end up overwhelming you.” You told him.

Hyunjae put his hands on your waist, pulling you into him as he spoke. “There is no way you could overwhelm me. I love you so much it’s unreal.”

You looked up at him and grinned at the red flush his face was showing. “Are you getting shy?”

Hyunjae’s face turned an even deeper shade of red as he hid his face in your neck. You could feel the heat coming off of his cheeks as he mumbled something you couldn’t quite make out. You gently ruggedly at his hair to signal him to lift his head.

“I said, I’m not used to being so open with my feelings and how I feel, so yeah I am shy.” Hyunjae said without looking at you.

You giggled, kissing his red cheek. “You don’t have to be nervous Hyunjae. I love you, too. Now, you better have planned a dinner, because I’m starving!”

[cockasinthebird]

Stuck? Stuck.

This year for the senior weekend trip, Hawkins High students gets to enjoy a lovely stay at a hotel so cheap it's a risky gamble to even set foot there, and a Saturday trip to the Indianapolis Museum of Art, to which absolutely everyone is equally excited about.

Which is not at all.

Steve groans and sits up in the hard bed he has to sleep in for two whole nights, sharing his room with three other guys from his year that he swears he has never ever seen before, despite them all knowing his name and history quite well.

The drive here hadn't been that long, although it felt like hours, nerve ridden and anxious to not sleep in the safety of his own haunted mansion. Sure it's nice to be surrounded by people on all sides if he were to tell the truth, but...

Billy fucking Hargrove had been staring at him all day, sat two rows behind on the bus, and whenever Steve turned to look, he was met with an icy stare and suspicious grin. Billy had even actively gone out of his way to bump into Steve, push him around and kick his bags away, to which Tommy had laughed and patted Billy on the back, that fucking traitor. Sure they hadn't talked since after the fight with Jonathan, but Steve didn't know their friendship had been so fragile.

With an exhausted sigh and jittery hands, Steve carefully closes the door to his room, then heads down the hallway to find the elevator. He can never sleep when he's away from home, yet Dustin had convinced him that this is a great idea! Get out and have some fun! People always hook up on those senior trips! And then he did that Chewbacca wanna purr of a sound, prompting Steve to push his cap down his face.

The elevator climbs slowly up to his floor as he thumbs his lighter, on and off, on and off. Who here would he even hook up with that he hasn't already before he got together with Nancy? And now that they're over and Billy is running the school instead, Steve's odds had fallen even farther into the pits of hell.

He just needs to get out for a smoke, and maybe flirt his way to a drink or two at the sleazy bar; this place doesn't look like it cares about serving minors alcohol, what with the water stained ceiling and floor, the peeling tape, and the creaky as shit elevator, as it barely can manage a ding once it reaches the 4th level.

It whines just the same as he steps inside and feels it bounce dangerously underneath his weight. It requires several attempts and hard jabs from Steve before the ground floor button registers his attempts, and starts closing.

When just in the last second, strong fingers curl around the rusty metal and pries open the doors again.

That grin, those curls, the sun-kissed skin.

Billy fucking Hargrove.

“Where you off to, Harrington?” he asks with a flash of predatory teeth and steps into the limited space.

Suddenly Steve is feeling hot and claustrophobic, heart racing both from the presence of his enemy, and from the fear that the elevator might not be able to support both their weights.

“Why the fuck should I tell you?” he snaps and does his best not to meet those blue skies that just won't give him the same courtesy of pretending the other doesn't exist.

“Could be you wanted some company,” Billy says with a low tone that hints at something secret and suggestive.

“And why are you up?” Steve doesn't really care to know, but thoughts of why Billy might be up and about this late flows freely. There would only be one reason, and maybe it's the second floor where all the girls are located.

But he doesn't press the 2nd floor button. Simply puts his hands in his denim jacket and leans with his back against the wall.

“Oh you know exactly why I'm awake this late, princess,” Billy drawls out and licks his lips.

Which Steve doesn't notice, if anyone were to ask. He pulls up a cigarette from the back he has stashed in his back pocket, and slips it between his lips to save time once they're able to get away from each other again.

Yet it's gone just as quick, as Billy reaches out and snags it away, just to place it beneath his mustache. And Steve stares daggers at him, all too quickly he's angry, but really it takes no time with Hargrove around, as his mere presence in Steve's life in a constant source of pain and fury.

“What the fuck you asshole, give it back!” Steve frowns and clenches his fist with a strong urge to punch. It's been too long since he's felt the bliss of nicotine, and he can feel it in his blood. “Get your own shitty cigarettes.”

“Why don't you come over here and take it, then?” Billy muses with a cocky grin that goes from ear to ear.

“Yeah yeah, very mature, give me my fucking cigarette back, Hargrove. I'm almost out of smokes and patience with you.” Steve turns to stare at him now, a few feet apart filled with air so tense you could cut it with a fucking butter knife.

“Well that was quick,” comes the response as a mean spirited chuckle.

“Oh don't be like that; you've been harassing me all fucking day you shit!” And Steve steps closer, up to where he can feel Hargrove's breathing. “What is your deal with me?”

Billy lifts up his chin, looking all brash and smug. “Do I have to one?”

“Why else would you be making my life a living hell?” Steve's fists clench tighter. “Isn't it bad enough you stole my best friend and 'knocked me off my throne'?” he says with possibly the most infuriated air-quotes anyone could ever manage.

“Nope.” Short and crude, the p popping loudly despite the cigarette caught between teeth.

“Then what the fuck do you want?!”

And as Billy's grin somehow grows more sinister, he doesn't get to answer before there's an abrupt jump of the elevator and a nerve wrecking screech.

The loud whir of cogs and mechanics silent. The elevator has stopped.

“Are... are we...” Steve dares not say, as if that would make it real and not just his imagination.

Billy shoves Steve away and steps over to press a button, any button, and when there's no response, tries a second button, then a third, then every other option there. Punches the keys over and over and over-

“Fucking stop that! You're just making it all worse!” Steve shouts and grabs on to Billy's sleeve to tear him away.

“Oh like you know how a fucking elevator works!” Billy snarls back and pushes Steve hard for having even dared to touch him. “I know your grades, I've heard the questions you ask in class, I bet even Max could answer half the shit you can't!”

Steve doesn't even have time to think before he flings his fist after Billy, who catches it perfectly on the nose. Cigarette flies from his mouth, blood drips onto the sticky floor, onto Billy's dirty boots and his clean, white tee. And he continues being unable to think, as Billy fucking laughs.

“God damn Harrington, I can't believe you had the guts to do that,” he sounds near insane as he talks, swipes his tongue up to lick his upper lip clean of dark red. “You know you're gonna regret that now, right?”

“According to you I don't know shit.” Steve stands with his feet too far apart, shoulders raised and fists aching for more. As much as he would prefer not to fight, since he always gets his ass kicked, the rush of seeing blood flow from Billy's nose is invigorating.

No matter how prepared he thinks he is, Billy's fist still feels like a goddamn boulder against his eye, and barely has Steve staggered backwards at the brute force, before Billy grabs him by the collar of his striped polo and shoves him into a corner; caging him there with his own broad, muscular shape.

“You punch like a girl, Stevie,” his voice low and... oddly sensuous?

He reeks of cologne, teeth sharp and perfect like a wolf, body sturdy and thick, pressed into Steve with such intent that he can feel every inch of power.

“What are you gonna do now, Harrington?” Billy's chuckles like thunder in his chest as they stay flush together.

Steve feels his heart beat in his swelling eye, lumping in his throat, beating against his ribs like xylophones, and somewhere between his legs. Red really is a great color on Billy's lips.

“What are my options?” he groans out and wants to move away from the insufferable heat that's gathering too far down.

Eyes jump around every one of Billy's strong features, looking like a damn model from afar and up close like this. Jaw square and stubbly, an ocean's view in his eyes, a thousand eyelashes that he doesn't deserve to have, freckles like a starry night that he didn't even know existed on Billy's perfect skin, lips so hopelessly inviting despite the wicked grin.

And maybe Billy catches how he's being admired right now, because his smile falters to a slightly slack jaw. “Doesn't seem like you have any,” he mumbles out, tone uncertain of something.

“I fucking hate you, Billy.” Steve can't move his head away, can't tear his gaze from where that tongue peeks out to lick his lips clean once more.

With a timid whisper, barely more than a breath, Billy utters out, “I hate me, too.”

Lips meet with obscene force, Billy pushing against Steve's mouth as if it's his only source of life, and immediately Steve opens up; tastes the metallic blood that still drips slowly down from Billy's wounded nose, and feels that captivating tongue intrude deep as it urgently memorizes every inch of wet heat.

It's as if they've both been starving for years, and now they're all too worried it'll end in the blink of an eye.

Billy bites and pulls at Steve's lower lip with a guttural groan.

“Fuck, Billy-” Steve nearly moans out and tries to buck out his hips.

“Shut the fuck up, Harrington, or I'll punch you again,” Billy growls and dives back in to lick where his teeth had just tortured sensitive skin.

“Mmh- ah-” and Steve pulls away to say, “Do it.”

“What?” Billy has never looked more dumbfounded.

“Fucking hit me again.” Steve licks his lips clean of Billy's blood and stares intensely down at him. “Slap me in the face.”

And Billy grins like the devil, bites down on his tongue, breathing staggered as he contemplates on whether or not Steve is serious. Then brings a flat hand across a pale cheek.

It stings and burns throughout his entire body, anger and lust confusingly mixing and making his blood pump faster, his cock growing harder. He pokes at the inside of that cheek where he can practically feel the red hand print form.

“God you're a freak, pretty boy.” Billy wags his tongue and stares with a confident brow. “This why Nancy Wheeler left you, huh? She couldn't keep up with your perverted desires.”

Steve doesn't speak, simply digs a hand in between them, and oh what an exciting bulge he finds there, one that forces out an “Arrh,” from stained lips and feels the hips below urge closer.

“Like you're one to talk.” Now Steve is the one to smirk, crooked and looking like the cat that got the cream.

Which Billy fucking hates. All he can do is press their lips together again and grind his full dick against Steve's hand caught between them. His movement irrepressible as he rolls his hips and swallows every single moan that spills from Steve's puffy lips, pleased and turned on by every syllable, irritated that Harrington can't just shut the fuck up.

It would be all too easy to get caught like this. But isn't that just exciting?

That thought strikes both of them at the same time it seems, because just as Steve moves his hand out of the way, Billy's flies down tear away at their belts, all the while maintaining the rhythmic dance of their ever so insatiable tongues.

Neither dares to utter a single word, because the wrong one could stop it all too soon, so they settle on hushed grunts and groans, barely a cursed word till Billy's hand shoves into Steve's trunks once his fly is down.

“A-ah- shit, Billy-” Steve moans out and closes both his hands in the denim jacket.

“Be fucking quiet, Harrington, I swear to God,” Billy hisses out with his gaze low.

Attention caught on how fucking long and hairy Steve is, the head of his flushed cock wet with pre. He doesn't waste any time with getting himself out as well, his own leaking erection girthy with clear veins snaking around. Not as long as King Steve's magnificent dick, but definitely wider.

“Fuck,” Steve breathes out hard at the sight of them both out in the open like that, shiny and standing at full size.

A moan cuts through him as Billy brings his free hand up to muffle every sound, with such force that it knocks Steve's head into the wall. The pure display of dominance that that move is, makes Steve leak even worse and struggles to keep his eyes open.

“I said shut the fuck up,” Billy's voice deep and threatening.

Steve feels as if he's staring death in the eyes, and all he can do is whine and thrust his hips into the iron grip around both their throbbing cocks. It's dry and uncomfortable, but fuck if it doesn't get him to where he needs to go.

And once again their minds must be in perfect sync, because Billy brings up his hand, and Steve watches intently as Billy spits into his palm, clear blue eyes never looking up to catch how burning amber stares.

Finally he gives in, when that slick hand twists around the two of them, and Steve's eyes roll back between fluttering lids as his mind goes blank with searing pleasure. A calloused hand, thick veins, hoarse groans, all of it the only things to matter in his world now, as every practiced jerk of his all too hard prick tears away at his self control and shoves him into the deep end of urges he never realized he had.

Urges he doesn't care to ignore.

Never before has he heard Billy go this long without insulting him, and he kinda misses it. He fights to open his eyes again, and catches how Billy's brows are raised high up and pinched together, his mouth wide as he barely manages to choke his own moans before they grow too loud, stare locked down where he's fisting them together with such fervor he could light a fire with it.

Steve is aching to hear Billy call him names, throw around abuse like it's nothing and shame him for something, anything. Perhaps tonight will give him new material finally, call him a queer or gay, just to then overpower him as he always does when they fight, now maybe followed by... a handjob? A blowjob? As long as his hands are on him, Steve won't complain anymore.

Can't complain when he's so close. He hadn't realized how badly he needed release at all till Billy had started pushing into him just minutes ago. Had their constant struggle just been pent up sexual tensions? Was this what it was all leading up to? An inevitability? Billy pumping his closed hand around them in a gross as all hell elevator, feeling every single inch of Steve's painfully intense erection?

“Fuck, ah shit, lift up your shirt,” Billy's quick to groan out with labored breathing that stutters as he speeds up his hand as fast as he can go.

And Steve doesn't hesitate to do as told, brings both hands from Billy's jean jacket to his own striped polo and lifts it up as high as he can, what with the way they're crammed together in a corner.

Feels the heat gather, the coil in his gut tightening till it's seconds away from springing, the vice grip around him doing wonders in pulling him to the edge, then shoves him off as he cums, hips shoving into Billy's rough hand with short bursts as he moans against the one stealing away his air, feels how he ejects wet heat all over his abs in a toe-curling feat.

Shortly followed by Billy as he empties all he's worth onto Steve's stomach, forehead pressed on top of the hand covering Steve's mouth, eyes still unblinking as he watches what a gorgeous mess they're making. He squeezes their spent dicks till the last drop drips down his broad fingers, and then lifts up his hand.

Ensures that Steve is watching, as Billy sticks out his whole tongue and licks his hand clean, sucking on the digits till there's not a trace left.

Steve moans into his hand at that, and despite the fact that he's been depleted of all his energy, still feels it jolt through him and burn into his memory for forever.

Finally Billy pulls his hand from Steve's mouth, and wipes the spit off in his jeans as he steps away.

And Steve nearly collapses without the support of thick muscles to keep him up, boneless in the afterglow of the best orgasm he's had in months. But... what's he going to do with the way they've painted his abdomen? There's no fucking towels or paper here, and he can't just take off his expensive polo shit and use that! He stares down in slight panic and gestures with his hands as if he's just going to, what, wipe it off?

When his sight gets blinded by something soft that reeks of musky sweat, and he catches Billy's shirt before it would fall to the floor. He looks up to see Billy put his jacket on again.

“Use that to uh...” He points to the cum that slowly runs down Steve's exposed skin.

Although hesitant for very good reasons, Steve does eventually wipe himself dry with Billy's tee, and awkwardly hands it back, as if he can really use it for anything now.

And a prolonged silence fills the air between them, as Steve remains in the corner and Billy struggles a bit with the doors; no clue what floor they're on anymore, and the counter above probably hasn't worked in years.

“What happens now?” Steve asks cautiously from where he's sitting in the same corner, a spot that he dares not leave.

Billy groans out a complaint and shakes his head at the immovable steel doors. Then goes to sit next to Steve with only slight space between their bodies.

“You mean if we make it out of here alive?” he laughs, and hears Steve give a tired chuckle as well. “That depends...” his tone grows wary and serious. “Harrington... if you tell anyone about this, I will fucking kill you, you understand?”

Their eyes meet, and in Billy's there's a storm of mixed feelings. Fear of getting hurt, premature anger of being found out about, and maybe hope? But that could just be Steve projecting his own thoughts and feelings onto the other.

“And what if I don't?” Steve swallows hard around the anxiety that clumps together in his throat. “What if I don't tell anyone about... us?”

One corner of Billy's rather stern grimace quirks up. “Then I'll see you tomorrow night.”

[superfanficnatural]

The Cold Of Heart

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Summary: (I really do not want to spoil) You decide to tell Dean how you really feel.

A/N: Ok so I found this and completely forgot about it so I’m just going to post it lol. As always, I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: I’m not spoiling but angst, negative thoughts. Don’t worry, no triggers or anything like that. 

Gif is not mine

Six years. You had been hunting with the Winchesters for the past six years, falling in love with one of them almost instantly. At first, you wanted to make sure that it was real, not just infatuation, so you waited. Expecting it to go away, you were surprised to find out that your love kept running deeper and deeper, finding new reasons every single day to love that goofy green eyed hunter. Once you knew you were in love with him, you waited, praying that he would feel the same. Everyday, you dropped subtle hints, hoping that he would pick up on them or at least show some kind of attraction to you. After all this time, he didn’t say or do anything, so you decided enough was enough, you were going to confess your feelings for him. 

Walking into the library, you saw Dean sitting down on one of the chairs, propping his feet up on the table. You smiled and walked up to him, “Hey, Dean. Where’s Sam?” you asked.

“He’s out, said he had to go shopping for something,” he grunted, looking up at you.

You went over and sat down at a chair across the table from him, taking a deep breath, “Hey, I uh, have something to tell you,” you warily admitted.

“What’s up Y/N?”

“I- at first when I- um... I think-” you were a stuttering mess, already having a blush on your face.

“Y/N, take a deep breath for me,” he chuckled, putting his feet down and resting his elbows on his legs, giving you his attention.

You took in another deep breath and exhaled slowly, “For the longest time, I waited,” you started, “I waited for you to give me a sign, anything that showed that you felt the same way,” you started.

“Y/N...”

“Don’t, please, let me say this,” you shakily cut him off.

“Ever since I first met you, I had this undeniable attraction to you. At first I thought to myself, he’s just attractive, it’s all just physical attraction,” you began, “But after a while, getting to know you, I found myself falling deeper and deeper. The way your eyes shine when you have a genuine smile on your face, the caring and protective side of you for those you love. I couldn’t help but fall for you,” you breathed, a smile threatening to grow on your face.

“You never gave me any kind of indication that you felt the same way even after all of the hints that I dropped, I don’t know if you ever even really saw them but I decided that enough was enough and that I should just flat out tell you,” you took a deep breath, “I’m in love with you, Dean Winchester,” you picked up your gaze and looked at him. He seemed like he was having an internal struggle and his face had lost all color. 

The silence was deafening and you didn’t know if you could take it any longer. After a few moments, he steeled his face and responded.

“Y/N, I’m sorry but...”

No

No no no no please, don’t

“I don’t feel the same way.”

You couldn’t breathe, a lump in your throat closing off your air, your eyes wide and mouth agape. You felt like you were being sucked into a bottomless pit of despair, becoming disoriented you couldn’t feel your arms or legs. You thought that he was just hiding it because he was scared, that he didn’t want to ruin what you guys had. Your heart was broken, and there was nothing that you could do to fix it. 

There’s nothing else he can say that could break me further than this

“You’re like a little sister to me.”

A tear fell down your eye, followed by another, and another. There was this pain in your chest that hurt more than any stab wound, any gunshot. It felt like it was piercing your heart, bleeding it of its life. You couldn’t be here anymore, seeing Dean’s steeled face with no emotion, you couldn’t handle it. You got up and ran, ran as fast as you could to your room, your legs feeling like ghost limbs. You shut the door and sat down on your bed, bawling your eyes out. 

He didn’t take the hints because he never liked you. Why would you ever think that he would like someone like you? You aren’t even his type, eat too much greasy food, love handles for miles, you’re disgusting.

The voice in your head was driving you insane, it voiced everything that you were afraid to admit, all of your insecurities. 

You never deserved someone like Dean, you don’t deserve happiness, only suffering.

“Shut up,” you growled. “That’s not true,” you muttered, not believing it but hoping if you said it, it would become believable. 

Even you don’t think that, you’re pathetic, they only asked you to join them so they wouldn’t feel bad if you died on a hunt by yourself. God knows you can’t hunt to save your own ass.

You couldn’t stop the voices, they were overbearing, bringing all of your deepest darkest thoughts up to the surface. You couldn’t sit still, pacing around your room with tears streaming down your face. Bringing your hands up to your head, you tried to get rid of the voices but they weren’t letting up.

You can’t get rid of us, for we are your inner thoughts, the ones you tried to push down. If only you had understood that you were worthless, this wouldn’t have been happening.

I can’t do this anymore, you started packing all of your stuff up with haste, throwing your clothes into your duffel. You grabbed the keys to your car and snuck out of your room, Dean wasn’t anywhere in sight so you took your opportunity and ran to the garage, getting in your car and hightailing it out of there. You were on the road for about ten minutes before you started crying again, flashes from your conversation coming back to you.

You’re like a little sister to me

I don’t feel the same way

You felt like you were suffocating, unable to draw breath. Your heart still had that piercing pain, as clear as ever. The tears were coming at full force, blinding you so you couldn’t see the bright lights rapidly approaching your car.

Dean’s POV

Shit, I knew that conversation was going to come sooner or later. I had noticed every single hint that Y/N had dropped, but I made sure that I didn’t give her an inch. She could never find out.

After our conversation, she ran back to her room, tears falling down her face. I felt terrible, I had to force myself to stay in my seat so I wouldn’t go and comfort her, knowing she wouldn’t want anything from me. I went back to my room and could hear her crying through the wall separating us. There was a huge pain inside of my chest that no matter how hard I tried to push down it just wouldn’t go away. I felt like a complete asshat but this was for the best, I can’t do that.

After about half an hour, I decided to go talk to her, wanting to see if I could make her feel better. Walking into her room, my heart dropped. It was clean, she had packed up all of her stuff.

Fuck, no no no

I ran to the garage and saw that she had taken her car. I rushed back into my room and took out the tracker that could trace her car. 

Why isn’t she moving?

I didn’t have time to dwell on that, I got my jacket and keys and ran to baby, getting in and pulling out of the garage, baby’s wheels skidding on the floor from my speed. Checking the tracker, she was about three miles ahead of me. After a few minutes, I saw bright blue and red lights lighting up the forest and my vision.

No

I drove until I saw it, her car totaled, smashed into some other person's car. I got out of baby and overheard the officer say, “The witness in the other car said that she seemed to have tears in her eyes so she couldn’t see the road.”

I rushed up to the car and saw her. Body limp, flown out of the car from the windshield, cuts all over her face and body. The officer tried to stop me but I pushed him off of me and rushed to her.

“Y/N? Y/N can you hear me? No no no no, don’t leave me, I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave me,” I choked out, tears streaming down my eyes. I couldn’t breath, her normally bright and beautiful face now colorless, her eyes that once had fire in them, lifeless. 

It’s all my fault. 

She’s gone and it’s my fault

I let out an ear piercing scream, the pain in my chest too much to handle. My soul felt like it was being ripped out of my body, punishment for not telling the truth. 

If only I hadn’t pushed her away, we would be safe and back at the bunker

I succumbed to the thoughts in my head, it really was my fault. She’s dead because of me, just like everyone else.

Two Weeks Later

“Dean, can I come in?” Sam asked, knocking on Y/N’s old bedroom door. There was no answer so he walked in, recoiling and holding his nose with his hand. The stench of alcohol everywhere.

“Dean, what the fuck? What are you doing?”

“Fuck off Sammy, leave me alone,” he muttered, drunk off of his ass.

“Look, Y/N’s death hurt both of us, but she’s gone Dean! She’s gone, and drinking yourself into a stupor isn’t going to bring her back!”

“Get the fuck out, before I kill you,” he snarled.

Sam took a step back, the venom in his voice scaring even him. He left the room and slammed the door, angry that Dean wasn't letting him help.

Dean took another sip of the bottle, emptying it. He was disgusted with himself, not caring if he died or not, knowing that it was his fault Y/N died, he felt like he deserved it. Hell, he wanted it. He had no purpose left in life, without Y/N, everything was dark. She was the light in his world, the light that woke him up in the morning, the light that made him want to fight to become a better person, and he was the one who snuffed it out. He threw the bottle against the wall, roaring out in anger, the tears steady streaming down his face. He picked up a shirt next to him, the only one that Y/N didn’t pack and brought it to his face, deeply inhaling her scent, bringing another wave of tears to the surface. 

If only I was strong enough to tell her, to tell her that I loved her.

Y/N POV

You woke up in a bright room, completely alone, in what seemed like a white box.

“Hello? Is this the new and improved version of hell?” you yelled out.

After a few moments, a door appeared and a man walked in. Fairly short, blue eyes and a beard, he seemed harmless.

“You don’t look like a demon,” you remarked.

He chuckled, “No, I’m not a demon, but who I am doesn’t matter, what does matter, is that it isn’t your time yet.”

“What do you mean ‘not my time yet’?”

He walked over to you, standing a few feet away from you, he smiled softly, his eyes glowing white, then everything went blank.

Forevers Tag List: @magssteenkamp​ @shadowsinger11​ @donnaintx​ 

Dean/Jensen Forever Tags: @akshi8278​

Female Reader Tags: @punof-agun​ @emoryhemsworth​