#going on leave

[xoxo-bunnydumpling]

"They're going to come after me for tuition reimbursement."

Moses has left work early and cancelled his evening class to look after me while Eli stayed at the branch to finish out the day. He's declared my feet too puffy, and has been working on them for a good 15 minutes. His movements are soft, and slow, and I think I could sit with my feet in his lap all day.

"Fuck it. Rich kids, their parents can afford it." He raises my good leg up to his face and kisses the inside of my ankle. "Gotta keep these little babies elevated."

"Mmhmm."

"If I didn't promise Eli I'd behave myself I'd put your legs over my shoulders and give you what fer. Technically still elevated."

I end up in his lap to kiss him and for all his saucy talk the most he does is sneak his hand under my shirt to hold his palm still in the middle of my back. I'm really trying to convince him, but he promised. Not even a little wiggling will get him to relent but it does cause his eyes to go real wide.

"I...uh...respect your hustle and we should definitely uhhh reconvene when you're not on the verge of a stroke."

"My blood pressure is not that high, now. Maybe earlier but not now." As soon as we got home he planted me on the couch and set to work asking Dr. Google what to do, even going so far as to call an auntie because every one of his aunties in an expert in something. Her best advice was BC powder, cool water, and "be with her, soothe her, honor her." Fantastic advice if you ask me.

He scoots me back, off his crotch and onto his legs, presumably so he can focus because he hasn't done a great job so far.

"We need to talk about that, actually." He holds on to my face, gently, but he still clearly means business. Have I mentioned that his eyes are soooo dark they make me sleepy and he's just so handsome he makes my tummy get all fluttery?

"Mmhmm."

"Are you listening, shitass? Or just staring?"

"Yeah."

He laughs, and pulls me in for a hug and I just sit there while he rubs my back. He and Eli are so easy to just sink into. I could bite him, nibble his shoulder just a little but I don't because apparently this is serious.

"You gotta go on leave, Buns...you're not even halfway through this and you're already all fucked up."

Rude. "And pretty?"

"Soooo pretty, the prettiest I've ever had besides Teddy." He kisses the top of my head, where most of my grey hairs are. "I get it, I really do. But if Teddy was MY husband I'd just let his big ass take care of me for the rest of my life."

"Yeah? Why?"

"He's good at it and he LIKES it. Solid, dependable, and has a total boner for taking care of you? Let him, let US. Just chill and have a baby and let us handle the rest."

Moses and I have talked about this before, a number of times, even before I was pregnant. Obviously he doesn't think women should be required to stay home (even going so far as to say that if Eli was the one tricky hips and bad knees he'd expect me to put forth a similar offer to the one Eli's been trying to give me), but he feels like the home is infinitely more important than anything going on outside of it. I do tend to be the one that takes care of domestic affairs, and they've both taken turns telling me, honestly, that they find my "job" at home to be more important and more inherently valuable than either one of theirs. "If we had to pay you, we couldn't afford you"...which, holy shit, I've never heard a man say that.

I stare at him, waiting for an indication that he's being less than truthful about his desire to be involved to this degree. I keep waiting for "it's not even my kid" to cross his lips but it hasn't yet. I'm starting to think it's never going to.

"Fine."

"REALLY?"

"Yes."

"Mmm...that's my good girl."

I can bite him now. "Don't say that unless you're gonna put out."

"Technically I told him I wouldn't get in if your blood pressure was still too high."

So because I'm old I check my BP before attempting a romp on the couch. This is my life now. Accept it. Move on. Cope. It's low enough, and at the midway point Eli comes home from work. He stands there looking not at all surprised before loosening his tie, rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt, and strolling over like he owns us both.

"Feeling better, malia?" Oh noooo, he's Vlad now.

This is not a thing he hasn't seen us do before, but the way he purrs his Ukrainian always gets me all tongue tied and shy. "Mhmm."

"Hmm...I bet you do. Please, continue. I'll be right here if you need me." He gives Moses's hair a light tug before perching on the arm of the couch, watching.

He was so mild mannered before I got ahold of him. I should feel bad for corrupting him but I just...don't.

[atalana]

the curse of adhd:

i will remember with absolute clarity, when the thought strikes me that i have a text to send someone, that this is the fourth time in three days i've attempted to send this specific text

i will forget, in the time it takes me to pick up my phone, that i picked it up intending to send a text

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

guy who's stuck in a timeloop for so long he stops wanting to leave it. guy who started out trying to escape but slowly grew used to and became comforted by the familiarity of the repeating day. guy who is no longer who he was before the timeloop. guy who is offered a way out and violently refuses it because he can't leave, doesn't want to leave. guy who escapes the timeloop by chance or force or accident and doesn't know how to live anymore. guy who keeps going through motions that don't match the situation and keeps having conversations that aren't actually occurring. guy who panics every time he realizes he can't predict the next instant. guy who left the timeloop but still lives with it.

[habken]

I had a vision

[lonepower]

yes i Am paying real money to make you all look at our new dog. we've had her for 3 hours and if anything happened to her I'd kill everyone in this room and then myself. her name is Tater Tot

[moethh]

praying for your mutuals is honestly so freaking funny

[wuntrum]

what if a femme robot liked it when her butch creator performed routine maintenance tasks on her (in a sexual way) (and they were both girls)? i guess you'll have to read my new (free) comic to find out!!

[franeridart]

more dragon

[flowercrowngods]

when ao3 is back up i want all of you to leave comments on the fics you were interrupted from reading, the fics you were looking to find, the fics you were thinking about re-reading, and the fics left open in your tabs for months now.

when ao3 is back up, i want you all to show some love to your favourite writers, favourite fics, or even just the 600 word one-shot that brought a smile to your face that tuesday three weeks ago.

when ao3 is back up i want you all to remember that comments and explicitly voiced appreciation are what keep writers going.

[tmmyhug]

personally this is how i'll be tracking 2023

[bisexualpercyjacksons]

pjo tv show episode 5 alignment:

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Like the majority of society I’m obsessed with Nimona

And I rewatched it a million times and one thing always sticks out to me 

There are moments when Ambrosius is surrounded by light like a little protective bubble 

That keeps him away from the man he loves more than anything 

[wanologic]

fortunately, or unfortunately, they only see each other like 3 times a year…

[bet-on-me-13]

The cult of...Danny Fenton?

So! Way back when Danny first moved into his new neighborhood in Gotham, he had some trouble controlling his Powers. The different Types and Levels of Ectoplasm in the air when compared to Amity had thrown off his control.

He was used to being in places where his Ectoplasm meshed well with the Atmosphere, like a Water Balloon in a Pool, but in Gotham that analogy would be closer to a Water Balloon in the sewers. It was too different from what he was used to to fully control his Powers.

So it's understandable that he messed up a few times and his neighbors found out about his Abilities.

They took it well at first, Danny wasn't going to go Rogues or anything, and he never used them maliciously, but eventually they got curious.

They asked what his limits were, how he got them in the first place, and what the hell the Ghost Zone was. The answers "None Really", "I died and was reborn", and "A Collective of every Afterlife at once" did spark some interesting reactions from them.

Most importantly, a few of them joked about him being an Eldritch God that they needed to worship. He was good enough friends with them that at that point they felt comfortable pranking eachother, so they did just that.

Danny woke up one day on his birthday, and saw all of his friends and neighbors surrounding the makeshift Throne they had made and put him on while he was asleep. The entire day they chanted stuff like "The Great One requires Ms. Smiths Apple Pie for his day of birth!" And "The Great One Wishes for us to sing the Ritual Song! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birth-"

After his birthday, they kept up the joke.

It didn't help that his powers had evolved Again! And now he could bestow abilities onto his friends. The jokes they made about their God granting them Supernatural Powers to rule the world with were insufferable.

Then, one day while he was just resting at home, watching a movie on his TV, he felt a Pull at his Core. The same kind of Pull whenever he was being summoned. But why would they summon hi- Oh Shit! It's Mr Jenkins Party today! He was supposed to meet them at the Warehouse they used for special events an Hour Ago!

He quickly accepted the Summoning, but was met with a suprising sight. His Neighbors all tied up in a pile to his right, a spilled table of party food to his left, and right in front of him, Batman and his Family watching him with wary eyes.

Slowly, he opened his mouth. "...so, did you come for the party or..."

[imlostinmy20s]

🐾✨🌻

An art piece I started almost a year ago!

been working on rendering for the last three days

[lumpsbumpsandwhumps]

I made this callout meme for me and me specifically