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#going to be loads of studying
marsbotz · 1 year
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forgor how to fucking draw
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mysicklove · 8 months
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Wait didn’t you work at a bakery?
i work at a cafe too!! but i got hired as a microbiology lab assistant (at my school) so im going to that on weekdays and work as a barista on weekends!!
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nerdie-faerie · 4 months
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Just when I think the day's going well, I crash a golf cart
#summer camp tag#ace is a mess#i do not have a drivers license and i havent even been behind the wheel in like 4 years since i stopped lessons cus of the pandemic#the day was going fine i got loads done didnt feel like i was irritating my director too bad#doing some paperwork for her and she says when im done well take the golf cart out while its not currently raining#im like ooh fun never been in a golf cart before i see the higher up staff in them im not gonna say no to chilling in a golf cart#i did not realise that meant i would be driving esp when she asked if id been in one before and i said no#she then asked if i could drive and i said not really thought that would be it#cus i was supposed to be studying for my theory before working towards my practical#but no she insists im driving and first off i gotta reverse outta this bay now at least i didnt have to think about gears#but i hate tryna figure out how to turn whilst in reverse in mess with my brain im not great with shape visualisation#we do all our stops its fine for the most part a lil too fast going down some of the hills#and some tight turns but my turns were always like that cus im too busy focusing on the most immediate thing#we get back i park fine and then shes like oh actually there are some more stops we can make so i reverse and turn back out#do our two stops with only minimal confusion about direction then as i go to park into the bay we came from#shes like oh actually park in the bay closest to the health centre and what i should have done was reversed and adjusted my angle#instead i drove directly into the supporting beam separating the two bays 🙃😭#i immediately turn the cart off and expect her to switch with me instead shes like laughing it off oh it was just a little bump it was fine#im like it was not that was a loud ass bang i feel so bad and then she lifts up the light cover i broke off saying its just a scratch#and i feel worse so pf course thats when the camp director comes out to check on the noise and i dont think ive ever worn a guiltier look#but theyre both laughing it off oh just having a little driving lesson :) and i am mortified#she gets back in the cart and shes still insisting that its fine and i should still park after that which i do with great trepidation#but there are no more problems and the lights still work but the cover does need fixing and i just oh my god#ive never crashed before never clipped or scratched a car so of course id crash the golf cart trying to park of all things 😭
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odetojupiter · 4 months
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nathaniel’s birthday being 19th of jan, which is the same birthday as edgar allan poe, the eponym of edgar allan university, the place neil was sold to.
edgar allan’s wife was called virginia, EAU is based in west virginia. poe and virginia lived in baltimore, but often moved between there philadelphia and new york. poe died in baltimore.
like neil, poe’s mother was english. his father was american. he could speak french, and some sources say he had passable knowledge of german too. he was abused by his father.
the night before he died, poe is said to have called out the name ‘reynolds’ repeatedly. he died of alcohol poisoning.
and of course, the obvious - the ravens at EAU, edgar allan poe’s most famous poem being The Raven, and their stadium is called evermore, a play on nevermore
quoth the raven nevermore
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this is probably off topic but like i was rereading sea glass gardens & i was just giggling at the fact that kamo (the good one ofc not the one who took back shots for the greater evil) is just…obsessed with getting this middle school delinquent approval & MEGUMI JUST NOT REMEMBERING HIS NAME???
like imagine dedicating your spare time to impress the adopted child of the strongest who is also the zenin’s heir (if gojo fucking goes crazy or kicks the bucket) who is also the ten shadows user, trying to compliment him, hyping up his skills by saying he has more potential than the current zenin head, only for him to not know your name 😭. & the fact he apologized for it? i’m cacklingggg. you truly embraced megumi’s silent menace tendencies. tbh i was so convinced that kamo had a crush on megumi & was just flirting with him for the whole exchange event 😭.
(also maki’s little story of her interaction with megumi in their childhood? i cried a little. like the fact megumi being a menace to naoya & the clan & taking mai away was like mai’s happiest memory? i really can’t wait to see mai’s appearance here)
also i can’t believe megumi is half dead & blind & he’s already known as “yuuta’s boy”. this is giving when you’re a high school senior & you just forcibly take a underclassmen under your wing & everyone just calls that underclassmen your school kid.
like imagine in a happier universe where shibuya didn’t happen & yuuta pops tf out & introduces himself to the first years. imagine the hilarity of nobara & yuuji trying to figure out how tf yuuta is able to cling onto megs, tease him, & knows little details about him without getting his head chewed off 😭.
honestly..yuuta’s unhealthy platonic feelings about megs makes me wonder gojo’s reaction bc i imagine him being so insufferable like he just assumes that “omg my distant relative have a crush on my emotional support child”
ANYWAYS I LOVE YOUR STORY !! i can’t wait for the next update, your writing is literally so beautiful that i have to re read it multiple times to take everything in (i’m kinda slow). it’s gotten to the point where i accepted your fic as canon 😭. i promise you in a few months your fic is gonna be known as THE JJK FIC. i’m manifesting it. <3
So I’m never gonna get there in the fic because sea glass gardens cuts off pre season 1, but I like to headcanon that Yuuta desperately wants yuuji to like him (he’s megumis friend and also Yuuta feels an obligation to look out for him because they were both sentenced to death) but yuuji is just NOT having it because he’s the one person in the world that yuuji feels almost seething jealousy for. He is not a jealous person. He has never been a jealous person. But Yuuta is living his perfect life, which is a fact that Yuuta would be surprised to learn, because he is not living anyone’s perfect life. From yuujis perspective, Yuuta is:
Inexplicably close to Megumi. Megumi is somehow his boy. Yuuji didn’t think Megumi would tolerate being anyone’s boy.
(He doesn’t tolerate it it’s somehow the best and worst kept secret in the school. Everyone knows Megumi is Yuuta’s boy except for Megumi himself. Megumi insists Yuuta’s like this with everyone while panda silently shakes his head where Megumi can’t see him.)
He’s got some kind of secret history with Megumi that no one will talk about (since I imagine that the second years would legitimately keep their word and not talk about what the Zenin did to him behind his back) but whatever it is it makes Megumi trust and rely on him more than anyone else??? How is the son of a bitch doing it???
He was also sentenced to death but got it suspended and like. Yeah. Yuuji would like to live that dream existence.
The fucking legally adopted child of Nanamin??? How?????
It’s a lot of
Yuuji, glaring at him angrily from across the room: he’s the perfect man
Nobara: why do you say that like you’re mad
Yuuji: why am I not him!!!
Yuuta’s just. Despondent. He wanted yuuji to like him so so bad.
Considering canon Megumi didn’t tell them he had an entire sister until they were at his old school and people were asking after her, I doubt that even waterboarding could get out of him “yeah so I met the second years when my bio family violated the no contact protocol that started because of how dangerously abusive they were and basically tortured me for a week, up to the point of my Actual Death. I was blind for a while. I guess okkotsu senpais protective of me because when we first met he Literally Had To Restart My Heart and Lungs. Also we held hands multiple times in the immediate aftermath.” So I think Yuuji and Nobara would be aware that there’s something weird about how Yuuta and Megumi met but have absolutely no idea what that weird thing is.
(Panda: look it’s really not weird how protective Yuuta is of Megumi considering all that Megumi was going through when they first met
Nobara: What was Megumi going through when they first met
Panda:
Nobara:
Panda: I’ve said too much.)
I have a serious reading of Kamo and a self indulgent reading of Kamo and a Kamo that’s somewhere in the middle.
The serious reading of Kamo is that Kamo was a kid who grew up in a bad situation with very little control over his own life and saw Megumi as the one who could possibly understand him. They both were born outside of their clans but their inherited technique had the ability to elevate them to clan heir. He persisted in trying to compliment him and form common grounds with him out of isolation and a desire for someone to understand his lot in life. Megumi, meanwhile, would see Kamo as exactly who he doesn’t want to become. Kamo has accepted his place in his clan; megumi is violently rejecting it. He doesn’t want to be the same as Kamo because he doesn’t want to be anywhere near the Zenin clan.
The thing is that out of all the characters, Kamo’s really the best one we have to kind of represent the more common views of the jujutsu world. like, he very consistently is shown to be able to make his own assessments about what judgment call the higher ups and the wider jujutsu elite are going to make or expect, and part of it is his desire to fulfill his role as kamo clan heir. And Kamo? Accepts out of hand that Megumi is going to be formally brought into the Zenin clan once he graduates.
Like, he's in the fight during the goodwill event, and he's just like "yeah so when we both graduate we'll both be working to support a major clan in the jujutsu world" and megumi's like "the hell are you talking about. i'm going to kill you with this elephant."
It is probably a common expectation that gojo keeping Megumi from the Zenin clan is not going to stretch into perpetuity. Like. Right now, megumi is a minor. Gojo very easily can control who has access to him. When he’s an adult working in the society, the same trick of preventing all contact isn’t gonna work. Those are his coworkers now. They’re going to get more and more opportunities to bring him back into the fold. The Zenin are just playing a waiting game to get Megumi back and everyone sort of has just accepted that fact.
Kamo is what the Zenin clan expect Megumi to one day be for them, and I think it puts Megumi a bit at odds with him. Megumi has no interest in living the way Kamo does, and a little internalized fear about it happening anyway. Refusing the Zenin clan is the only control he’s ever really exerted over his life and future. He never got to pick being a jujutsu sorcerer, but he chose not to go with them. All of kamos priorities and mindset remind Megumi of all the things he’s messed up about, and it sets them at odds.
The self indulgent reading is that Kamo had a huge crush on Megumi and spent the entire goodwill event trying to execute his four year long plan towards holding his hand only to be thwarted by the fact that Megumi was completely dazzled by a himbo he knew for less than two weeks three months ago.
And the reading above is just the serious reading with the added fact that Kamo also had a huge crush on Megumi.
The thing with Mai partially came from something that Gege apparently released as background lore. In the goodwill event, Mai says that she never told maki when she had her first love, and i was like "that's weirdly specific, I wonder who that is" and then I googled it, and the answer was apparently either Megumi or Maki herself, and I said, "Huh, I Don't Like That" and decided we weren't doing that.
Now, to be clear, I do get making that decision on a level as a writer. Like, the Zenin clan is enormously fucked up and explicitly practices intermarriage. That is the kind of thing where you may include it because it's so fucked up and perfectly exemplifies how fucked up it is. a clan that explicitly is practicing incest is going to heavily skew how relationships amongst family members develop and form and it's going to be a fucked up dynamic amongst closely related people.
But also I Don't Like It And We're Not Doing That.
I did like the idea of Megumi and Maki occupying a somewhat similar place in Mai's mind. Like, Maki is in a league of her own, there's too much history there for anyone to come close to her in a relationship, but Mai's fondest memories of Maki were specifically with Maki occupying a sort of companion and protector role. Maki was in the same "level" as mai. They were both vulnerable kids in a bad situation who were looked down on by their family. They were both fast tracked to be servants. But Maki was the brave one, the capable one, the one who guided her when she was afraid and promised to always be there, and that's where a lot of mai's complex emotions around maki come from: mai was afraid and maki was strong and maki was there to hold her hand, and then suddenly she wasn't anymore.
Once I put Megumi in the Zenin compound as a little kid (since it's unclear what contact Megumi had with his bio family pre-season 1 and how extensive it was), I knew that 1) the zenin would not be putting him anywhere near Mai and Maki, and 2) that I wanted them to have met anyway.
So I liked the idea of Maki and Megumi occupying similar spaces in mai's mind because they both had briefly been viewed by Mai as companions and protectors. Megumi's contact with Mai was way more limited than Maki's was, but Megumi sort of swept into her life at a time where Mai really did need it most.
Mai would have been right at the age where most kids get their technique, if they get any at all, and we can sort of assume that mai may have figured out what hers was late if Maki didn't know about it. She just failed to get the ten shadows technique, and was a freshly confirmed failure in terms of power. She was just feeling the sting of her family's rejection, and Megumi, meanwhile, was the one who was supposed to be the most special and blessed of them all.
And he was the only one who didn't reject her out of hand, other than her sister. He stuck his own neck out to protect her. They all played together. There's not a lot of good memories than any of the three of them have on the Zenin compound, but I think that all of them secretly thought of that day as one of the best they can remember from childhood.
And it sort of was a huge deal for Mai. Everyone was treating her like she was dirt under their heel, but there was Megumi, the presumptive heir to the clan, the Ten Shadows himself, and he played with her. He was her friend. I think that would have been kind of a landmark moment for little mai. not only is that the acceptance and kindness she desperately needed, but I think it was also sort of source of hope for her that she could have a place in the Zenin compound one day without it being utter garbage. Megumi was assumed to take over the entire clan one day, and he was kind to her. He was her friend. He didn't let Naoya treat her badly, when Naoya was the one who was likely going to be heir if Megumi hadn't inherited the ten shadows. Naoya was at the top of the food chain, but Megumi still stood up for her, even though her own parents wouldn't have. So maybe when he grew up and became clan head, he wouldn't let people mistreat her and maki anymore. They could all be happy together, and Mai couldn't imagine a future where she and maki got to be happy before. Even though the clan leadership cracked down pretty hard on them for that stunt, it didn't make a dent in how overwhelmingly happy it made her.
Megumi going no contact probably would have been a huge blow, especially considering her age. She lost her hope and her only friend who wasn't her sister in one fell swoop, and she really was too young to have the tools to understand just how much Megumi needed to be kept away from her family for his own safety.
Mai, back then, was living in such a warped life that she didn't really realize how bad her family was, especially to Megumi. and that's not so much a comment as to how bad it was for her there versus him, but more that she had very little context as to what his life there was like. she was never supposed to meet him. She mostly heard about him secondhand, and that's all being filtered through the zenin's unique. All she ever heard was about how the ten shadows had finally been reborn, and how the clan was blessed for it, and how upset they all were that they had to give him back to gojo. No one even wanted her. Megumi seemed like he was living a much better life than anyone at the zenin compound could expect, so what cause would gojo have to take him away?
She was just a little girl who didn't really have friends other than her sister and him. She wanted to play with him again. She didn't understand much outside of that.
Of course, she's had time to grow up and kind of put her memories of the past in a more reasoned context. Maki came to the conclusion that Megumi probably didn't have the best time there a while ago, and this incident has really put it into perspective for her that he must have cut off the zenin because they were dangerously abusive towards him. Like, she mostly never saw him, but she has a lot of memories of him 1) being hauled out of a training room unconscious 2) being on sixteen hour days at the age of six, and 3) being violently unhappy whenever he was in the compound. Mai, to a lesser extent, likely has a similar awareness that he didn't go no contact for shits and giggles, it was because her family's fucking bonkers and abused him badly enough for gojo to pull the plug. of course, how that's shaped mai's mindset towards megumi now is still yet to be seen.
I know what it is, of course. it is seen for me. you all have yet to see it.
Gojo can and will make his own existence everyone else's problem and yuuta is sooo right to not want him to know. like. he wouldn't kick yuuta's ass. but that doesn't mean he'd be good about it.
I'm so glad you like the story! thank you for your kind words!!!
#sea glass gardens#I have this entire self indulgent continuation that's just yuuta breathing into a paperbag in africa about what the fuck is going on#he keeps trying to confiscate the first years to africa with him#like mostly megumi#megumi is his boy#but he LOVES that megumi has friends like he WANTED megumi to find what he had in his class he adores nobara and yuuji#whoever the fuck they are#he doesn't want to take megumi from his friends so he will simply take all of them#look obviously the others tried their best but they failed and lost the privilege okay the first years just need to come to africa where he#can take care of them properly#yuuta was locked and fucking loaded to be the world's greatest senpai only to get kneecapped with a study abroad trip#the other second years have to play rock paper scissors to decide who has to tell yuuta that megumi fought fucking sukuna twice within two#weeks of the first day of school. /sukuna/. sukuna hasn't been a problem for a thousand years and megumi has fought him TWICE.#he was shirtless both times. literally no one wants to be the one to tell yuuta they are all so afraid.#all yuuji and nobara know about him is that everyone talks about him wistfully and he keeps trying to confiscate them to africa#Maki: look you have to understand that yuuta loves his boy#Panda: he fucking loves his boy#nobara: and we may have to... go to africa about that#maki: you very well may#yuuji tries to ask megumi why they call him yuuta's boy and inumaki jumps out a 3rd floor window to tackle him because he still doesn't kno#i have this crack au in my head where Yuuta figures out teleportation during the goodwill event bc he can't take waiting to find out#if everyone's alive. the first thing he does is save his friends the second he does is hug them the third he does is hit them very hard#yuuta: you promised me you would take care of him!#Panda: we did!#Yuuta: why are there ROOTS in him#Panda sweating: look the thing is--TODO was the one who punted him through a wall for not being an ass man#maki had to sit on inumaki to stop his homosexuality from telling yuuta about that one and she did it not out of love for todo but out of#her conviction that yuuta would murder todo and then feel guilty and then she'd have to /hear/ about it and that's too much effort#all that work gone to shit because panda needed someone to throw under the bus
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ultra-phthalo · 4 months
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2 months, break it or make it
I'm going to take a hiatus with my art and will probably not be rebloging much during this time. My studies are looking messed up. Lots of reassessments from not turning in my work on time. I'll probably actually get a lot of essay work completed and learn how to better use satellite images over the next two months [self teaching]. But then immediately get barred from passing into next year because earlier this May a teacher sent me a reassessment without my consent. And just sent a deadline to me without notification whilst I was working on other stuff to do with uni. I'll probably have to beg for some leniency after missing that. Right now, I just don't see why I can make something out of these two months? I can't just sit here waiting to be kicked out of uni. And it would be irrational for the lectures to say there's no bouncing back from my mistakes in the time I have.
I'm panicking a little. But luckily I've managed to reconnect with my older sister and we've started making a plan of action and timetable. She'll be calling me regularly. And I'm quite happy with that. Next I have to call a friend who's probably worried about me. And might be upset I had disappeared for a few weeks with no word. No holiday for me, oof. But an empty building to work in is nice :3
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freckleslikestars · 2 years
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Trust me, sweetheart, running away isn't gonna make things better for you. Workin' tables here, it may not feel right, but at least you got a roof over your head, and some friends who care about you. May not feel like your life right now. Just give it some time, okay?
Stargate SG-1 | 10.08 Memento Mori
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malacandrax · 2 years
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Forever a simp for Jo Calderone
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double-gs · 8 months
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Technology these days is literally just rage bait
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la-galaxie-langblr · 7 months
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Me? Having a 5 day Anki streak and starting to build a habit of adding new vocab to my decks? It's more likely than you think.
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Guess who has been officially diagnosed with 'treatment resistant depression' 😎
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supercantaloupe · 11 months
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apparently i'm already halfway done my musicology degree??
#i wanna talk about me#between the course i did in undergrad and the frankly ridiculous number of courses i'm taking this semester#apparently i'm over halfway done already#i know the musicology portion is a smaller load than the library science portion but like#man it was weird walking into my advisor's office and him looking me in the eye and saying like 'oh you're almost done'#three courses is all i have left for a master's. Man#well i'm gonna spread those out over the next year and a half...and probably pick up an extra elective here or there while i can#cause idk man i like studying music history...even if i don't Have to i like taking the classes and learning#(esp if it's gonna be paid for by my fellowship as long as i'm still here)#well i need to figure out. how the hell to get in touch with a library science advisor now.#i emailed yesterday and haven't heard back#but i don't know what i'm doing for that degree going forward rn#other than. i guess taking 552. but i KNOW there's other specialty and elective courses i'll need to take too#and i want to take stock of what shit i'll have to take in summers too cause i know some of the courses are only offered in summer#(need to find out if any of my fellowship scholarship can go towards summer courses. i'm guessing not...)#weird. it's weird. i don't know what i'm doing here#anyway#meeting with my advisor went okay i at least know what i'm doing now re: the music stuff#didn't cry which is good but man i hate how my voice started to break more and more the longer i was in there#and when i talked about how i put too much on my plate this semester and am struggling to keep up with all the work#and he asked me if i've been reaching out to anyone for support. or if i had people to reach out to#and i just had to sit there like. uh#define. support?#i have a couple friends at least that i chat with about stuff like that sometimes but not always cause i don't want to bother them too much#but like. it's not like i can ask someone else to write a research paper For me#or it's not like i can control when my coworkers get sick and i have to cover their time in the office#and this didn't come up at all (and i'm glad for it) but jeez it's not like i can control global political conflicts!!#it's hard for me to focus on getting enough work done in small chunks of time in the best of times#let alone when my fucking hamster brain is on high alert for getting hate crimed in public if my necklace is too visible or something#idk. it's a lot man. i bit off more than i could chew this semester even before the world fell apart
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livsspecialinterests · 5 months
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idk what specific pathology is responsible for this but whenever I feel bad I literally cannot comprehend ever not feeling bad again
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upperranktwo · 6 months
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Good morning everyone ♡♡♡ feeling a little better today! My ear still hurts but I've managed with worse before! Hope all of you have a great week ♡♡♡
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kohakhearts · 7 months
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by the way i am going to get to asks and such soon, i just am super busy at the moment (yay for 6 day work-week in a field where your days off are dedicated to doing even more work) but i have blorbo thoughts and i will absolutely make them everyone else’s problem as soon as i have more than one (1) hour of brain power a day to do something that isnt Work or School related
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tchaikovskym · 1 year
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decided to celebrate a bit for kind of not-officially yet getting into a phd, getting into new jobs (2 of them actually), and having car problems on top of it all, so, naturally, i deserve to overspend on food delivery
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