#gojou satoru x yn

[saintobio]

sincerely yours. (9)

↳ gojou satoru/reader

when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after. 

genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+ 

tags/warnings. profanity, usage of alcohol, mentions of cheating, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationship, explicit smut

series masterlist -> episode ten

Satoru had a major problem. 

And it was his self-control. His lack of self-control was the reason he had engaged himself in an adulterous relationship back when he was married. His lack of self-control was the reason why you had become the recipient of his unreasonable anger in the early stages of your marriage. His lack of self-control was the reason why, out of all the women in the world, he was now sleeping with a friend of yours. For God’s sake, his lack of self-control was probably the reason why you were also pushed to your limits, choosing to cut your marital ties with him and leaving only the scraps of his role as a parent to Sachiro.

Back when he was attending his weekly therapy sessions, his therapist told him that part of what he needed to learn was to control his impulses, resist temptations, and actively exercise his willpower. They were easier to achieve then than now, since he was the loneliest man at the time with no friends, no wife, no son, and no bustling company to run. His decisions remained untainted, his temptations unchallenged, his emotions uninfluenced—a solitary journey at its finest. He was all by himself. How come? It was because he was sent by his mom to Osaka to temporarily seclude him from his harrowing memories in Tokyo, compelling him to sever ties with the outside world and immerse solely in personal convalescence. Reflecting now, it felt no different than being sent to a psychiatric hospital.

He could say it worked at the time. He learned how to keep his emotions at bay. He learned how to control his thoughts, throwing away the bad and keeping only the good. He was a new man by the time he returned to Tokyo, prepared as ever to take on his role as the Chairman of the Gojou Group, ready to once again try and live a normal life. But the moment news had spread about his ex-wife's marriage to his business rival, all the self-control he had painstakingly cultivated seemed to have evaporated in an instant.

Everything also went downhill after that. 

He wasn’t going to list down all of the things that happened nor the impact it had on him since you yourself were a witness to them. But if he was going to look at the way your return has changed the trajectory of his life 3 years after you first left, he would still at a hundred percent put all the blame on his shoulders. None of this domino effect would end up like this if he had been a faithful and loving husband in the first place. The pressure from his father was not the only root of all this, the branches also extended to his corporate greed which ultimately ruined his chance at a fruitful marriage with you. 

But at least, the chaos should have settled by now. You chose to move forward and he decided to respect your decision by finding his way to another. This should free you both from the emotional torture that had you imprisoned in each other's cage for the longest time. He would still be there for you as the father of your child, but otherwise, he was happy that you had Toji Zen’in by your side to fill in the marital gaps that he had failed to complete. 

A heavy sigh escaped his lips. The warm water fell on his body in rivulets, soaking him completely so early in the morning as he decided to take a long shower. For how long? He couldn’t tell. He could stay there for hours if need be. He had to let his mind wander on its own, with a hand pressed against the wall, and another stroking his white hair back. Despite accepting the fact that Toji now owned your love and affection… well, wasn’t that son of a gun too lucky? Did he even realize that the woman he would marry was once Satoru’s entire universe? 

Ah, but who cares? Satoru scoffed inwardly, leaning his head back to let the water hit his face. He had Akemi, so why did it matter if you had Toji? He wasn’t bitter. He was just trying to reason with himself that you deserved to be with someone you really, truthfully loved. And he deserved that, too. Maybe not now, but at the perfect time, he could relive the life of a married man after learning from his mistakes the hard way. A much better one. A married man who would never in his life betray, hurt, or ruin his partner. A doting husband who would offer his whole life just to make her happy. He promised to himself that Akemi should have that kind of man from him. 

Though, he could ask himself, how far was he from achieving that? He did practice his self-control last night when joined you in the pool—his face, inches away from you. Hand gripping your hip. Eye-to-eye. Skin-to-skin. Your warm breath fanning his cheek. Just another step forward and your lips would touch. But he didn’t let that happen. He mustered all of his power to pull back from the gravity that was drawing him closer to you. Still, he couldn’t deny that you looked absolutely gorgeous last night. As the moonlight illuminated your face, he could swear that the stars also sparkled on your eyes. They must be from the tears you were desperately holding back, but either way, you were still so goddamn beautiful. He almost couldn’t keep his eyes off you last night and had to distract himself from looking at your lips, your collarbone, your chest, your curves…

“Fuck.” 

Talk about self-control. 

Satoru had none of that right now. His body reacted involuntarily to the thought of you last night. The sensual thought of you. The what-ifs.

What if he had wrapped your legs around his waist and enveloped your lips into a passionate kiss? 

He took a deep breath, still holding onto the wall as his other hand traveled to his growing member. 

What if he had carried you all the way into the living room and laid you naked on the couch? 

Closing his eyes, his hand started moving on its own, stroking his hardened cock and feeling every ridge as he pleasured himself. 

What if you had let him devour you? Let him roll his tongue on your entrance and taste your sweet, sweet flesh? 

Gojou let out a moan. A quiet yet desperate moan when he continued to jerk himself off faster and rougher. Damn it. He had to keep it low and he better not be heard committing such a sin in the bathroom. Although, he was confident that you were still sound asleep next to Sachiro in your bedroom, so he didn't think you would hear the noise he was making.

After all, it was shameless to know what was driving his feral thoughts right now. Thoughts of you letting him slide his tip along your entrance. Thoughts of him ramming his cock inside your tight cunt, being squeezed by your soft, velvet walls. Thoughts of your breasts bouncing wildly as he continued to hit your most sensitive spot. Fuck. Faster. He would have taken you on all fours, too. He would have let you ride his hardened shaft. He would have pressed you against the sofa and put your legs above his shoulders, letting you milk his cock with the tightness of your cunt. Satoru would release his warm seed into you in every position. He would shoot every drop of his cum straight to your womb, no doubt impregnating you for the second time around. He would absolutely love that. He would love seeing the residues of his wanton desire for you seeping out of your pussy. He would be at bliss watching your belly grow a few months after that, knowing that he had created yet another beautiful life inside of you. 

“Y/N…” 

Awakened by his senses, Satoru opened his eyes and saw the sticky white mess on his hand and on the wall. What the hell did he just do? More importantly, what the hell was he thinking of? 

No one should know about that. Not you, not even Akemi. He didn’t cheat on her, no. He didn’t do anything with you. That shouldn’t be counted as cheating. He didn’t even touch you. And he wasn't even officially dating Akemi.

No, no… 

Absolutely not.

Drowning into a pool of guilt, the first thing he did after that sinful shower session was to contact his supposed girlfriend not-girlfiend. And to make things even more awkward, you entered the kitchen in silence at the right time, carrying a sleepy Sachiro in your arms, unaware of the dilemma that was sending your ex-lover into a spiral.

“Morning,” he greeted almost inaudibly, clearing his throat and taking a sip of coffee afterwards. He had to think straight. 

“Morning,” was your simple and oblivious reply as you went about your daily morning routine. 

Gojou, on the other hand, was typing on his phone because Akemi wasn’t answering his FaceTime calls. He had completely forgotten to update her all day because he had been a little bit too occupied the moment he landed in America. She must be overthinking why he hadn’t reached out to her until now, and he felt extremely awful and responsible for that, but she couldn’t be fast asleep that early, right? It was 7:00 a.m. in New York, so that meant it was only 9:00 p.m. back home. 

He nervously rang her number once more, mumbling a ‘please answer’ as he watched her caller ID appear on the screen. 

“Dada,” called Sachiro, looking at him as his mother sat him on the high chair to prepare his breakfast. 

Still holding his phone, Satoru walked to his son and placed a gentle kiss on his tiny forehead. “Morning, Sachi. Did you sleep well?” 

The toddler nodded at him, drinking milk from the baby bottle that he was holding with both hands. His eyes were wide and blue—quite the same hues of blue that would remind you of a clear sky. Satoru couldn’t help but pinch his adorable son’s cheeks. 

And while you were busy picking out food from the pantry, Akemi finally answered his call after the fourth attempt and showed her beautiful, soft features on the screen. His eyes immediately lit up at the sight of her. “Hey, how are you?” 

He could tell she was still a bit distant and upset because of what happened two weeks ago, when she claimed to have heard him say your name during his sleep. He already made an excuse for it as he also didn’t know why he even did it in the first place, but Akemi was still understandably hurt. He couldn’t blame her. 

“I’m fine, how are you?” she tiredly asked, seemingly heading towards her bed. “I just got home from work, that's why I wasn’t answering.” 

He could see, in the corner of his eyes, that you were glancing at him but he didn’t return it. All of his focus was on Akemi, feeling bad that he hadn’t exactly been a good partner for her lately. Especially after the shit he just did in the shower this morning, but that was a secret that was meant to be buried. “Alright, did you have dinner already? It’s morning here so I’m having breakfast.”

She offered a small smile albeit the visible exhaustion on her eyes. “I did. How’s Sachiro doing?” 

“You wanna see him?” He walked closer to his son, showing him on the screen as his big blue eyes stared at the woman on the other end of the line. “Sachi, say hi to Auntie ‘Kemi.” 

“Hiii~” Sachiro happily greeted Akemi, while the latter cooed at the sight of his son. She spoke to him with a gentle and motherly tone, weaving warmth and love into her words. It made his heart full knowing that Akemi would wholeheartedly treat his child as her own, because if there was a slight possibility that she wouldn’t, she knew that Satoru would rather let her go. His child was still more important than any other woman. And so if his future partner couldn’t accept the fact that he had a child with his ex-wife, then they shouldn’t be in his life after all. The case was different with Akemi because she was already your friend and she had the chance to see Sachiro grow up before Gojou even knew his son existed at all. It was a bit complicated, but things turned out to be easier on the part of acceptance. 

The only problem was you. 

Because by the time the call ended, Satoru could tell that you weren’t in the best mood as you ate breakfast next to Sachiro in complete silence. Your eyebrows were curled into annoyance, and yet your eyes held sadness in them, an expression that had become difficult for him to fathom. Were you jealous of Akemi? He assumed you would say no, but your expressions showed otherwise. 

“Y/N,” he called for your attention, hoping that you would look into his eyes for a little bit. Yet, not a chance did you do. “What’s our agenda for today?” 

You seemed irritated, if anything. You refused to look at him as you gave a curt reply. “I communicated everything you needed to know via email. You should have checked it instead of letting Miwa do everything for you.”

Jeez. You were definitely angry. “Okay.” He cleared his throat once more. “I just asked in case there was a last minute change.” 

“There isn’t. I would have said so if there is.” 

“Right.”

Satoru didn’t know how to act in front of his ex-wife anymore. Now that he had seemed to ignite your pique, he chose not to say anything else further as you two finished your meals and cleaned up after yourselves. The only time he spoke again was when he offered to bathe Sachiro so that you could focus on yourself. 

You agreed. 

And he did his part. 

It was simple give-and-take. A transactional relationship, if you must. Nothing else would blossom from that except your responsibilities as parents for Sachiro. 

——

The New York trip was already as awkward as it was. And it only just started. 

To be fair, it wouldn’t have been as uncomfortable if only Gojou had not decided to make it so. He was the one that made the atmosphere unpleasant by trying to savor every inch of closeness he could get to your skin, only to pull away as if nothing happened. As if he didn’t care about how it made you feel. He even had the audacity to lecture you on how to go about being good parents and setting a good example to Sachiro. Then suddenly, the next morning, he would act like such a loyal and caring partner to Akemi. 

The thought of his loyalty made you scoff on the inside. He should be the absolute last one to be saying that. He should be the last one to profess how much of a loyal man he was trying to be to his new girl. 

Besides, even before this trip was arranged, you had already made it clear on your mind that the sole purpose of going to New York was for Sachiro's sake. Any interaction outside the need to be there for your son would be unnecessary. He wasn’t someone you still needed in your own personal life nor did he need you in his. Your past relationship no longer mattered in this situation and all that was left was for it to be forgotten. But even with your resistance to be anything more than a parent to your son, Satoru still respected you. He still showed, even in little ways, that he cared about your comfort throughout the trip. 

Five days had gone by, and everything you did in New York had been smooth sailing, all thanks to his grand number of connections across the USA. In a short amount of time, Sachiro’s surname had been legally changed, and everything else concerning his birth certificate had been corrected. The only issue left to address was your son’s nationality since Japan doesn’t permit dual citizenship and Sachiro would have to carry a Japanese citizenship and the Gojou name to be able to inherit his father’s assets and multinational conglomerate. You would leave that one up for Satoru to deal with, but everything else had been settled on your end. 

Although this trip wasn’t exactly a vacation, Gojou insisted that you two still take Sachiro out to explore the city he grew up in. And you did so by going to Central Park, telling your ex-husband stories of how you used to bring Sachiro there in a stroller when he was still a little baby and that plenty of strangers, both locals or tourists, would coo at him the minute they took a peek at his adorable face. You also took him to the Empire State Building to get the best view of the entire New York City, and Satoru being Satoru couldn’t leave without taking a family photo with you and your son, capturing the beautiful urban cityscape behind you. You could see it in his eyes that even though he was happy to be there, he was also melancholic at the same time. Almost three years of his son’s life were spent in this famous city, without him, and it was as though the bitter memories of those three years for him were haunting him back. Sadness was reflecting off of his crystal blue eyes as he took a minute staring at the view of the city, reminding you that you were the reason why he had missed out on his baby’s first memories. 

If guilt could literally eat you alive, you would have been devoured. 

“Ready to go, Sachi?” Satoru asked your son, tucking his phone away after having (seemingly) sent Akemi a text message, probably updating her of where he was and what he was doing. In fact, he had been texting and calling her every now and then, as if he was doing his best to reassure her that he wasn’t doing any funny business with you. Has Akemi always been a possessive partner? Even with your years of friendship with her, she had never acted that way in her past relationship. So, was she only like that to Satoru specifically? You wondered if she would go nuts had she heard Satoru tell you how badly he wanted to make more babies with you on your first night here. 

Sachiro nodded, clinging to your hand while reaching for his father’s. “Dada, hand pwease!” 

Satoru did offer his hand, but mirrored the surprise on your face when your son tried to link your fingers together, urging you to hold each other's hands like a couple. You didn’t want to get too offended by it, but your ex-husband was the first one to pull away. “I, uh, made a reservation for us in Carbone,” he said, unable to exchange eye-contact, “Yuuta will meet us there.” 

“Oh, he’s in New York?” you asked, pretending you didn’t notice how he acted allergic to your touch and redirected your attention to your son. “Did you hear that, Sachi? Uncle Yuuta will come and see you.” 

Your little one was oblivious to the world, too distracted by the throng of people surrounding the place that he didn’t even notice how his parents were uneasy with each other. To say that you didn’t feel bad for your son was a lie, because it actually broke your heart. Even if you and Satoru were working on co-parenting and making sure Sachiro wouldn’t feel the gravity of a broken household, you knew that when he reached the right age, all of this would still have an effect on him. One day, he would still be asking questions about his parents. Questions about why you separated, why your marriage failed, and why you had to move to New York while his father stayed behind. It hurt. Deep inside, it hurt so much to know that your only son wasn’t given the chance to have a complete family and it felt like a failure on your part as his parent. 

You were sure that was what Yuuta thought, too. As you met with him at a fancy restaurant in the city, you could see how his face lightened up seeing his nephew bonding with his parents as if it were a family vacation. He must have known what it was like to have a broken household. In fact, he had lived in a toxic one before, but he still grew up to be a mature and dignified young man who never let the horrors of his family’s actions affect his rational thinking. So if there was anyone in the world who would sympathize the most with Sachiro, it would be Yuuta.

“Sachi,” he spoke to your son fondly, wiping the sauce on the toddler’s chin. Yuuta chuckled as he watched the little boy's grimace after being given a small piece of broccoli. “You don’t like vegetables?” 

You fixed the bib on your son’s neck. “He does, but he’s very picky with it,” you tell Yuuta, glancing at Satoru who was busy speaking on the phone with Nanami about what appeared to be matters concerning the company. “Wonder where he got it from.” 

“Right.” Yuuta’s eyes turned into moon crescents as he smiled. “I remember nii-san being a little picky.” 

“You hear that Sachi?” you teased your son, who looked at you with his cute puppy eyes. You knew that if you had the ability to peak through his toddler mind, it would actually be full of fried chicken. The thought made you laugh. “Don’t be like daddy, okay? Sachi needs to have his veggies so he’ll be strong when he grows up.” 

“But…” Sachiro pointed to his father. “Dada is stwong.” 

Satoru chimed in at the conversation after having finished the call, “That’s right, Dada’s strong. Mommy could barely even handle me.” 

“Do you even know what we’re talking about?” You rolled your eyes, while Yuuta wanted to giggle, but chose to hold it back seeing the awkwardness of the situation.

Satoru shrugged and sat on his chair, eyeing the scrumptious dishes that were served to your table. He was acting like he hadn't been served more expensive meals before. “Have you tried the spicy rigatoni before? I heard it’s famous here.” 

You casually answered. “Yes. Toji used to bring me here every time he visited.” 

Look, you didn’t mean to overshare nor did you mean to make things even more awkward. You also didn’t mean to slap it in his face about how you were spending your years in New York with Toji. But Satoru, with his pride, took it resentfully. 

“Oh, really?” His words were the opposite of his voice. He was mirthless and full of unenthusiasm before changing the topic, redirecting his attention to his step-brother instead. “How’s Harvard?”

Yuuta eased the tension by making small talk, sharing details about his university life, and making sure he didn’t contribute to the growing tension. “I’m really just trying to survive this semester so I can go back home as soon as I graduate.” After taking a sip of his Cabernet Blend, he continued, “Like I promised, I’ll help you with the company.” 

You were happy, at least, to know that Satoru and Yuuta had fixed their relationship as step-brothers even after the whole incident with Nana, Eula, and their father. What used to be a relationship full of envy and competition finally became one that was full of mutual trust and support. Yuuta deserved that since he never once wished for his brother’s downfall, while Satoru also deserved to have a family member that had his back and helped him with the business without constantly fighting about inheritance. Because technically, Satoru was the sole heir of the Gojou family, and his dad only made it seem as though he would give it to Yuuta to make his own son comply with his orders. Satoru’s dad was controlling in that sense, and that was what led to all of this. 

But the present was more important. Things have changed and mistakes have been learned. It was all up to you on how you were going to manage your new life moving forward. 

Only, if only things were a little bit different on his side.

——

You had raised your son all by yourself for the last 3 years, so the presence of his father wasn’t really something you were used to for the longest time. How Sachiro acted around other people was solely a reflection of your teachings, discipline, and guidance as his mother. He didn’t really have a paternal figure up until now, and even if Toji was there to support your journey to motherhood, he never fully meddled with your mother-son relationship nor did he act like a replacement to Sachiro’s biological father. He loved him like his own, but respected the fact that the spot was reserved for Satoru. He knew that. He understood that, because he himself experienced raising a child alone without the presence of a mother. And if you asked him, he, too, would not want Megumi to replace the very love that he was supposed to have for his biological mom. Sure, Megumi could love and respect you, but Toji would still want him to save an unnegotiable spot for his mother in his heart. After all, she had birthed him. And in that same way, you had birthed Sachiro and created him with Satoru during your marriage. If there was anyone Sachiro should look up to, it had to be his father. 

And quite frankly, the father himself was doing an excellent job. 

But then again, remembering how hands-on Satoru was to you during your pregnancy, you never doubted that he would be a good parent. He may not be a perfect husband, but he loved his child with all of his heart and soul, and he would risk it all just to keep him happy. 

It was new to you how, throughout the trip, you didn’t have to take care of Sachiro alone. You and Satoru helped each other harmoniously, attending to your toddler’s needs and making sure he was being prioritized. You were glad. Truly. You were grateful to see that he wasn’t an absent father and that his words weren’t empty when he promised you that he would be a responsible dad to him. 

Though, at the back of your mind, you couldn't help but wonder what would happen if he welcomed another child in this world? A child that didn’t come from you? Deep inside, it hurt you to imagine him neglecting Sachiro on the side the minute he welcomed a new baby with Akemi. The reality was, the father would always prioritize the child of the current wife, not the child of the ex-wife. He would still support him, sure. But would he still pay the same level of attention that he was giving Sachiro now? You would probably break in half if Sachiro was thrown to the agonizing realm of feeling like an outsider in his own family because no child deserved that. If Satoru had that experience first-hand, he should not subject his own son to that same feeling.

You would be selfish to say this, but you wanted to seize the opportunity while Sachiro was still his only son. Hiding him from his father was your fault—you had gone through that a million times and you weren’t shy at holding yourself accountable through that mistake. However, you were already doing your best to make amends and make up for the years Sachiro had missed around his father. He was Satoru’s first and only child, and therefore he should never fight for his father’s affection. You weren’t sure what Satoru’s long term plans with Akemi were, but if they were considering having their own children someday, you would never allow your son to be pushed back at the bottom of the family tree.

Sachiro was the true first-born son of Satoru. He should never have to fight for his position in his father's eyes.

And so on the night of your flight back to Japan, when Satoru asked if he could take Sachiro with him for the rest of the week, you had no problems in saying yes. Your only wish right now was for them to spend as much time together as possible.

“Where are you taking him?” you did ask in spite of your leniency to send your son away, waiting inside the car as the pilot and crew prepared the private jet. “Please send me the full address. I need to know where he’s gonna stay and—”

“You’ll get the details from Miwa,” he casually said, rubbing Sachiro’s back as the little boy slept on his chest. He didn’t bother meeting your eyes as he talked. “I’m just taking him to my vacation home in Osaka.”

Osaka…

That was where his mother isolated him from the rest of the world when he was having terrible episodes. Episodes that worsened after he had found out that you ‘terminated’ his child and abandoned him for good. Shoko once said that they felt like Gojou disappeared from their lives while he was there, because nobody else could reach out to him. They couldn’t visit him nor could they contact him for a year or so until he was mentally ready to come back to Tokyo. 

You didn’t want to pry on matters that were sensitive to him, so you chose not to say anything concerning his decision to take Sachiro to Osaka. He must have wanted to reflect on his past experiences, allowing him to heal from them as it brought him to the incommutable life he had now—life knowing that Sachiro actually existed after everything that he was made to believe. 

“Please take good care of him, okay?” It was only a reminder, nothing else.

Satoru kept a straight face, nodding before he planted a kiss on his son’s forehead. “I got it from here.” 

After a minute of silence, you both got out of the car and you watched him carry the peaceful Sachiro in his arms. You left the sleeping toddler a tender kiss on the cheek before parting ways. “I love you, my baby.” Stroking his hair, you kissed his tiny nose. “Mommy will see you soon.” 

Satoru knew that you were staying behind. You had informed him of your plans before you even came here to the airport with him, explaining that Toji would be in Miami and that you had made arrangements to meet with your fiancé there. Satoru didn’t say anything much about it either, simply nodding his head at your decision and telling you to ‘do whatever’ because he was no longer a husband you should report your plans to. There was no hint of jealousy in his stance, but you couldn't miss the flicker of bitterness that did appear on his eyes for a millisecond. 

You didn’t even say goodbye to each other as you watched them board the plane. And he didn’t even bother looking back at you to tell you to take care of yourself. Not that you expected anything from him, but a quick goodbye would have been nice since you did spend the last couple of days together. Or perhaps, he was upset about the fact that you were staying behind to meet Toji? 

Either way, you were on your own now. 

It took some time for you to reach Toji in Miami. He had insisted on meeting you at the airport, but because he had to meet with a foreign investor, you headed straight to the hotel he was staying at. Funny enough, you couldn’t help but compare how different it was to stay in the same accommodation as your fiancé vs with your ex-husband and son. With Toji, nothing felt uncomfortable and sharing a room as a couple was as normal as it should be, but things did feel too formal and too forced. With Satoru, it felt awkward to share the same space with him, but since your son was there, it felt like home. It felt strangely close to home, like it was only right. That staying together as a family was what your heart wanted. 

Ever since Satoru went back to Japan with Sachiro, you had been feeling a wave of separation anxiety. Your mind was always left wandering towards them; how they were doing, where they were, what they had for dinner. You wondered if Sachiro was giving his father a headache. Smiling at the thought, perhaps he was giving Satoru a hard time changing his diapers. 

“Everything okay?” Toji, noticing your trance, put an arm around you as you two sat at the VIP lounge of the Miami Grand Prix. This was Toji’s scene. If Satoru was a fan of horseback riding and polo, Toji preferred big time F1 races. He even personally knew the racers, the type of cars they were driving, and everything a huge fan had to know. You weren’t all that familiar with these things, so it was a little hard to keep up with his lifestyle. 

“Y-Yeah, sorry,” you stammered, realizing how distracted you had been all this time. “What were you saying?” 

He drank from his glass of 30 year-old Macallan, downing the liquor like it was mere water. A cloud of disappointment settled over his features. “Not interesting to you, huh?” 

“No, I…” You made an effort to place a hand on his nape, giving him an apologetic peck on the lips. “I’m really sorry for zoning out. I was just… I guess I was just a little tired from New York.”

Toji placed a hand on your knee, sighing. “It’s fine. I was just trying to introduce the guys to you,” he said, scooting closer as he pointed to the racers. “You know that guy? Lewis Hamilton. He’s quite popular with the ladies,” then he moved his finger towards the other drivers, “And we got here for Ferrari, Carlos Sainz and Charles Leclerc, also fan favorites.” 

Your eyes suddenly caught sight of Gojou’s favorite car brand. “Um, how about McLaren? Who drives for them?” 

Unsure if Toji caught on or not, he did take a minute before feeding into your curiosity. “Norris and Piastri.” 

You wished you had any idea about F1 so that you could be as enthusiastic as Toji was at this event. He was at his happiest right now and you didn’t want to ruin it by being a boring, uncultured fiancé, because frankly, all these women around would have done a better job at entertaining him. Toji was very eye-candy and you couldn’t blame these models from glancing up at him, especially with how manly and suave he was, dressed like a picture perfect example of an old money businessman. The likes of him were the prey of these desperate influencers, willing to sell their bodies in exchange for a night with him. But truth be told, that was their way of living and you could never find it in yourself to insult them. You didn’t want to shame them for attempting to climb the social ladder because that was how they view money and success, or at least a faster ticket to it. 

As long as they didn’t try to make moves on your fiancé while you were around, you wouldn’t be so bothered by a few stares here and there. 

Neither was Toji. He must have experienced being stared at during these events plenty of times before, and he probably even sent women home crying because of rejection or worse, humiliation. Now that you think of it, how did Megumi feel when his father was being hit on while watching the Grand Prix? Most importantly, why was the teenage son absent at this current event? 

“Love, why didn’t you bring Megumi with you?” you inquired out of a sudden curiosity, knowing that Megumi was always present next to his father during F1 events. 

Toji took a sip of the hard liquor once more. “He didn’t wanna go. He was giving me the silent treatment before I left for the US.” 

Confusion further blanketed your eyes. “Did something happen back home?” 

He let out a deep breath, his face signaling that he was deep in dilemma. “The Zen’in elders want to set him up for an arranged marriage,” he revealed, much to your surprise, “They wanna make sure he’s not gonna end up like me, married to someone who wasn’t ‘qualified’ to be my wife.” 

At first you were confused if he was referring to you, but you realized that he was describing his late wife. Megumi’s own mother, the only woman Toji had ever loved by a mile. He fought everyone for her, even turned his back on his own family for her, but claimed that he also ultimately led her to her demise because the elders of his family harassed her until the day she died. It was a tragic love, perhaps even more tragic than yours, so you somehow understood why Toji was conflicted about Megumi’s personal life.

But you? You were strongly against it. “I don’t support arranged marriages, you know that,” you told him with conviction, sympathizing for the poor boy, “It’s not gonna end well. You know what happened to me…”

“I know.” Toji’s eyes were filled with regret. “I know, but there’s nothing I can do about it unless Megumi himself tells me he has someone he loves.” 

“Did you ask?” 

“He’s tight-lipped about it.” 

You sighed. “Well, he’s a teenager. They get pretty shy about these things.”

Forcing a marriage was never a good thing. You couldn’t understand why the concept even existed because it didn’t benefit anyone aside from the people around the married couple. That was why they called it a marriage of convenience. They were married for everyone’s sake but themselves; family name, status, business… You have had enough of it. If only you realized it from the very beginning, you never would have subjected yourself to a loveless marriage with Satoru. Even if your love did grow eventually, things still didn’t work out for the best, and now your life was a mess. A divorced couple co-parenting their only son? There was obviously no convenience gained in that false marriage.

Megumi would just be wasting years of his life tied to a person he didn’t love and so you were hoping that Toji would fight for his son’s right. Because if he truly understood you, he would not subject his son to the same suffering you went through. 

“I wish my wife was here,” mumbled Toji, forlornly, “She’d know how to handle these things better than I do.” 

Were you not there for him? You swallowed your pride, hiding the pain in your voice. “Right…” A smile was all that you could offer. “I’m sure she would.” 

——

Something was different about Toji and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. 

It wasn’t his appearance, and neither was it the way he spoke to you. He was all the same except for one thing; the look in his eyes. 

He had told you this before. He said that the eyes carry the most truthful and raw emotion that you can see on someone. The presence of love would be visible in someone’s eyes just as you would see stars on a clear, night sky. The lack, however, would mean that the eyes are blank and empty like the dark void in the expanse of the universe. You didn’t have to be poetic to be able to discern the way his eyes communicated his most solemn feelings in spite of trying to show otherwise. 

He must have been tired. Being caught up in your back-and-forths with your ex-husband, having to put up with your pretentious co-parenting situation, and the never ending need to keep an open mind about your situation with the same man who had ruined you. When your heart was in pieces, wasn’t he the one who tried to fix it? Wasn’t he the one who remained by your side during your darkest times? 

Whether that may be true, whether he truly ever loved you, you could recognize the stark difference of the Toji that genuinely cared for you to the Toji that was only actively trying to be there for you. What had changed him all of a sudden? 

“Toji, you drank a little too much.” A weary sigh escaped your lips, pulling all your might to drag your fiancé to lie comfortably in your shared bed later that night. At least, on the way to the hotel room, you had his bodyguards to thank for. They were there to haul him while he was in his drunken stupor, letting you lead the way, and dumping him carefully to his bed because there was no way you would be able to carry such a muscular man all by yourself. Now that you were alone with him, you decided to care for him the same way you used to do when Gojou was coming home drunk at night. Starting with his shoes that you took off, his shirt that you unbuttoned, his pants that you unzipped. “Come on, love. I’ll get you changed.”

The verdant hues of his eyes weren’t present. They were hiding behind his lids, refusing to meet your gaze. But if anything, he did open his mouth to speak, “...You. You wanna know a secret?” 

Drunken words are sober thoughts, you reminded yourself. Of the numerous times Satoru had gotten drunk during the early stages of your marriage, it was how you found out that deep inside him, he did care for you. That in spite of his ill-tempered exterior, he was a man deprived of parental love and support. What would be the case for Toji, then? 

“Yeah?” You waited for his answer, slipping his shirt off and revealing his toned body. 

The scar on his mouth moved when he displayed a mirthless smile. He was as drunk as an alcoholic would be. “I don’t… think… I can love you the same way I loved my first wife.” 

Your heart paused. In fact, every heartbeat became heavy. You knew how he felt, but didn’t expect him to say that out loud. “I-Is that so…?”

“Absolutely,” he mumbled, chuckling inaudibly. He was at a point where he was too far gone to realize the magnitude of the words he was saying to you. “Even if you try your best, she was everything I wanted in life and the only woman I could ever offer my heart to. She’s irreplaceable, and I don’t feel guilty about it... because I know you’re still into Satoru, too.”

“That’s…” You held your breath, holding back the sudden tears that formed in your eyes. “That’s not true.” 

Toji wasn’t done yet, however. He still went on with his drunken speech like he was finally pouring out raw, yet hurtful words out of the bottle. “Who knows? You would’ve had him touch you back in New York if you didn’t have me. You would’ve had him impregnate you, have his second child with you, and guess what? He still won’t be loyal to you.”

The pain in your heart increased tenfold. Everything went still and every minute felt like a stab to your soul. Should you say something? Should you get angry at him? No, no you couldn’t. Your chest was tightening and you knew it was smart not to let such negative emotions overpower you. His words were just a little difficult to grasp because Toji never in his life had been callous with his words to you. The tears that fell from your eyes were from the betrayal that you felt after hearing the cruel words he had uttered. And yet, you tried to hold on to that thin string of hope that Toji’s words didn’t come from a place of truth. 

“That’s enough, Toji. Go to sleep.” You pulled away, swallowing the bitter taste of weakness in your voice. 

He hummed, unaware of the pain he had put you through. “The more I look at you, the more I realize how much I actually don’t want to spend my whole life with you,” he admitted, with little to no regard for your current feelings, “I can’t fill this emptiness by being with another empty soul. And if there’s one thing I’m most grateful for, it’s that I let you run away that day before I fulfilled my vows with you—”

“Enough!” You shot up from bed and wiped the flood of tears on your eyes. “Enough! I’ve heard everything you wanted me to hear, okay?! Enough!” you raised your voice in despair, almost begging for him to stop tearing your heart asunder. “I get it! I fucking get it… so enough. Please, Toji.” 

Drunken words are sober thoughts.

A drunk mind speaks a sober heart.

Alcohol is a truth serum. 

The revelation of Toji’s true feelings that night was a reminder to you that he was just like any other man. That you should have never put him in such a high regard, thinking that he would be the prince charming that would save the poor damsel in distress. Why? What would he benefit from someone like you? You only deluded yourself into thinking that a man like him would take a single mother so seriously. You were only meant to be a placeholder for his dead wife after all. 

A placeholder, certainly. Not even deserving to have the title of a wife.

——

There was a huge contrast between being with you and Sachiro in New York vs being with Akemi and Sachiro in Osaka. The difference? There was no awkward air between Akemi and him. They were free to do things as they will—no restrictions, no certain do’s and don’ts. They were happy to have each other’s company, minus the guilt nor the unease of being by each other’s side. If anything, Satoru bitterly assumed that you were having the time of your life in Miami with Toji. You were so keen to see the man back there before parting ways with your ex-husband and son like you were simply discarding them to the side. 

If so be it, then fine. Satoru had all the right to have his son all to himself while you were gone. Besides, Akemi was just one call away and she was everything he could ever ask for. She cared for Sachiro as if she was his own mother and Satoru couldn’t be more grateful that he didn’t need to work on building a bond between her and his son. 

In fact, Akemi very much knew how to win Sachiro’s heart. As they took his adorable son to Universal Studios that day, she was nothing short of a caring mother. She had acted as a guardian to his son throughout the rides, letting the toddler enjoy his time at all the wonderful attractions that the theme park had to offer. Not once did his son cry too, so that only meant that they were doing a great job at taking care of him. 

Of course, it was a different story in the afternoon. After having spent all of his energy during the day, Sachiro had become tired and hungry by dinner time. But he wasn’t such a difficult kid to tend to, so Satoru was proud that his son still wasn’t throwing a tantrum even after a whole day of not having you around. 

“We’re gonna get Sachi fried chicken,” he enticed the pouting toddler, kissing his forehead while Akemi carried him in her arms. “Is that what you want?” 

Sachiro nodded and wrapped his little arms around his auntie’s neck. “Chicken, dada.”

Akemi smiled at the child’s gesture, tempting her to also place a kiss on his cheek. “You’re so cute and well-behaved, Sachi.” 

“—Satoru?” 

At the familiar voice, all three of them turned to the woman standing behind like a deer caught in the headlines. She was tall for a woman, slender, and had long, auburn hair, rosy cheeks, and ivory skin. Next to her was a tattooed man with salmon pink hair, a piercing on his ear, and a very defensive stance. Ah… How timely. 

Sera and Sukuna. 

Satoru wasn’t sure if he should openly greet them, after all, they weren’t acquaintances. And it was only recent that he got his memories back, triggered by Sera's presence at the expo. Other than that, he had no business with the two of them. Sukuna wasn’t a business partner of his, so him and Satoru had no formal connection towards each other. As for Sera, she might be his ex-girlfriend, but they didn’t exactly have the healthiest relationship to begin with, so…

“Of all the places,” she mumbled, almost gaping at the sight of him. Her eyes then trailed off to Akemi and Sachiro, with which her expressions shifted to guilt. Did she recognize his son? Did she remember the horrible attempt she did to harm his child during his ex-wife’s pregnancy? The memory was flooding Satoru’s brain like a tsunami. Yeah, in that case, Sera should definitely be filled with guilt. She tried to kill this harmless child. 

He cleared his throat, now becoming protective over his son at the presence of his ex. “We gotta go—”

“I guess it’s true,” Sera spoke again, this time redirecting her attention to Akemi. “The rumors, I mean. It’s all just surprising to me considering how obsessive Satoru was to Y/N.” She paused, seemingly wanting to comment at her ex-boyfriend’s current relationship in a mocking way. She kept her eyes on Akemi only, while Satoru was left wondering why Sera was acting hostile towards her. What was her deal now? She wasn't in the position to be acting all entitled to Gojou anymore, but here she was, talking to Akemi like she had met her before. “Did you know? He sacrificed everything for her. No one else made him beg on his knees the same way Y/N did.”

He couldn’t even tell how Akemi felt while Sera was clearly taunting her with her words, but she still managed to smile and excuse herself, keeping Sachiro away from an environment that should only be between adults. It was ridiculous, surely. What was Sera thinking trying to subject his son around that kind of hostility? Balling his fists, Satoru turned to Sukuna and spoke to him man-to-man. “You’d better keep your woman entertained so she’ll stop meddling into other people’s business.” 

Sukuna, however, found the situation equally humorous. “Don’t worry. We both are entertained.” 

Making a spectacle of Satoru’s personal life? No wonder they ended up together. They were both pieces of shit. 

Before Satoru turned on his heels to follow Akemi, Sera still had one last thing to say to him. This time, she was more calm and less malicious—her eyes following Akemi’s trail before looking back at him, “Satoru, if you have truly grown as a man, you won’t do this to Y/N.”

——

Sachiro was fast asleep when they returned to the Gojou clan's vacation home. 

Meanwhile, since the night was young for the two adults in that house, Akemi and Satoru shared a passionate session in the living room downstairs, letting her ride him as he placed soft kisses on her collarbone. They tried to keep quiet, obviously, and all the lights were turned off, leaving only the moonlight illuminating their view. After a few more minutes into their lovemaking, they eventually met their climax and tried to catch each other’s breath, embracing her in his arms as she fell limp against him. 

“Satoru, I missed you a lot while you were gone.” 

“...Same.” 

Silence engulfed them for some time until she let out an exasperated sigh. It was clear in her facial expressions alone that she was pondering about the whole scene with Sera earlier. “That girl earlier, Sera, she—”

“Don’t mind her.” Gojou closed his eyes and leaned his head against the backrest. He knew he had to clear things up straightforwardly, leaving no room for any misunderstandings. “She just loves riling people up. It’s ironic she’s coming at Y/N’s defense now like she didn’t torment her back then. She’s not worth paying attention to.” 

“Okay.” Akemi pulled away, cupping his face and stroking his cheek. She also offered him an angelic smile while doing so. “But you don’t feel that way anymore, right? For Y/N?”

Satoru took a deep breath, but steadied the movements of his chest. He felt defensive all of a sudden. “No.” 

Her smile grew more relaxed as she pressed a light peck on his lips. “Right.” And for a while, they both stayed silent. His thoughts ran straight to you, while hers was quite on a different route. “Earlier when I put Sachiro to bed, he called me his mama.” 

His eyes widened. “Oh… he did?”

She answered with a nod. “I don’t know if he’s just half asleep calling for his real mommy, but… At that moment, it made me realize how much I want to have my own,” she hinted at him, wistfully staring at his blue eyes with her shining ones, “with you.”

——

You didn’t take the flight back to Tokyo. 

What you took was an immediate flight straight to Osaka where you knew your son and your ex-husband would be. You weren’t sure if it was due to the height of your emotions, but you surely let your impulse win the best of you this time. 

You just wanted to escape. It was for the first time in your life where you were dying to set yourself free from Toji’s presence, the very same person who you once likened to a buoy in an open sea. Now he was no longer that. He was far from that. He was an anchor pulling you down at the deepest part of the ocean. Needless to say, the pain was still fresh from your heart when you took the earliest flight back home after his drunken confession to you. 

Despite the many missed calls and texts and emails he had sent you, none of them were returned. None of them were seen, or read, or had been replied to. 

All you wanted to do was get to your son. Your son. Your only comfort from all the painful things that the world has thrown at you. If not for Sachiro, you would have long ended yourself. But because he was born in this world, because he relied on his mother for love and guidance, you had to be strong and you had to seek the comfort in your heart from him. 

They could all turn their backs on you, but never will your son do. 

And so, after a few back-and-forth emails with Miwa to confirm the address of Satoru’s residence in Osaka, you ignored the jetlag that was hitting your body and traveled straight to his place without a wink of decent sleep. Sachiro. Sachiro was all you ever thought of when you asked your driver to drop you off the park nearby the Gojou clan's residence as soon as you spotted your son's mop of white hair, him running across the small bridge and pointing towards a fish in the pond. Your son was happily calling all the fishes, gushing about them to Satoru who stood next to him. 

You didn’t even care at how you looked during that moment. You just wanted to get to your son and embrace him in your arms. He had been away from you for way too long and you had already grown pale and sick from the separation anxiety that engulfed your heart and mind. 

You had to have your son. You had to hold him.

“Sachi!” you called out, a smile present on your face as you made your desperate way towards the bridge. Your son looked at you the moment he had heard your voice, and was already skipping towards you with a bright smile on his face. “My baby!” 

Satoru’s face, on the other hand, turned pallid. His eyes were full of surprise, unable to believe that you were actually right in front of him. It was like he had seen a ghost. No, worse than a ghost. Why? Did he not expect you to come when he had let Miwa send the address to you? Were you not welcome to visit your own son? 

“Mamaaa!” Sachiro hugged you tightly, allowing you to attack his cute face with kisses all over.  

“Mommy missed you so much, my baby.” You could almost cry. As young as he was, he had no idea how much comfort he was bringing into your heart. Just to be able to see him, hold him, kiss him was enough for you to feel complete again. It was at your brokenness did you realize how much Sachiro could fix you whole.

“Y/N, I thought you…” Satoru paused, confusion seemed to be settling on his features as you looked up at him. “You’re supposed to be back by Monday.” 

For a moment, you were reminded of the reason you came home earlier than intended and it stung your heart to think about. “Change of plans.” 

A small scoff left his lips. “Don’t tell me you left Toji back there.”

I did, you wanted to say. Satoru had no single idea how true his words were, but that was none of his business and you had no plans of confiding in him about what had happened. You may be angry with Toji now, but you still respected him enough not to do terrible things behind his back. 

“I had to see my son,” you lied, although it wasn’t exactly one, and got up while holding your toddler’s hand. “Are you ready to go home with mommy, Sachi?” 

Reluctance clouded your son’s face, and he became more resolute at shaking his head the moment a woman’s voice called for him from afar. A woman, a very, painfully familiar woman came into view a few meters away from you. Standing there was your best friend, Akemi Hirai, looking at you with wide, mortified eyes as soon as she saw your presence. 

And in a snap, Sachiro ran to her. Your son ran straight to her, joyfully and excitedly as if she was his real mother. 

How many more heartbreaks do you have to go through? 

How many more tears do you have to hold back? 

“I…” Your hands were shaking. Your entire body was on the verge of breaking down. All this time, your son had been in this vacation home living like a happy little family with your ex-husband and best friend. 

Now, he even refused to go home with you. 

Gojou scanned through the look on your eyes as though he was reading your emotions, but you showed none of it. Not a single emotion could be seen on your face. Not an ounce of pain shown, despite seeing how your son immediately forgot about you and headed straight to another woman. How excited he was to spend more time with his dad and his new girlfriend. How, much to your discomfort, he refused to go back to Tokyo with you. You saw the future family Sachiro was about to have without you in the picture, and damn did it hit you like a truck. 

Why, why did everyone in your life choose others before you? 

“I’m sorry. I’ll bring him to your house Monday morning,” said your ex-husband in a soft, delicate voice, almost as if he was being careful with you. “We’ll take care of him.” 

You could simply nod, avoiding eye-contact with anyone in the vicinity except for Satoru. “Okay...” you struggled with words. Your entire body was shaking. The last thing you wanted was to sound like a selfish mother, but frankly, you were about to self-destruct. “Just keep him happy… that's all I ask.” 

Behind your mask of indifference, Satoru knew what right words had to be said. You needed reassurance, and that was exactly what he gave you. “I won’t ever take him away from you, Y/N. I promise.” 

You watched them walk away, leaving you alone with a look of sympathy that you didn’t need. Sympathy that you despised having received. This should serve as a wake up call to you that no one in this world would ever love you. That even your own child would, one day, abandon you. 

As tears fell from your eyes, you felt a certain pang on your chest that hurt worse than every other pain combined. “You know you’re not so good with promises, Satoru.” 

[grartsss]

Being Gojo's assistant means....

[nejiverse]

SNOW

Gojo Satoru

In which it’s your daughter’s first time seeing snow and Gojo is more excited than she is. Fem! Reader

an: merry christmassss!!

wc: 667 words

It was your baby's first snow day and Gojo was so excited that it could almost make anyone believe that it was actually his first snow day.

"Satoru...she'll freeze in that. And will you at least let me get my scarf first?! I promise you the snow isn't going anywhere", you sighed and took the little girl from his arms to change her into something warmer.

Gojo pouted and followed behind you, his shoulders slumped.

"I mean honestly! You're acting like it's your first time seeing snow", you chuckled as you slipped your daughter into a fuzzy pramsuit, placing little mittens on her hands and a hat which you hoped she would keep on and not attempt to rip off her head.

"It's my daughter's first snow day of course I'd be excited!", he said in as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He picked up the girl and lifted her up in the air while you went to fetch your scarf. "Isn't that right princess?", he cooed as his daughter babbled as if to respond to his comment.

Upon getting outside, Gojo placed the little girl slowly onto the bed of snow as to not startle her.

He crouched down to her height and pointed at the flakes on the ground. "This is s-n-o-w", he sounded out carefully.

She cocked her head to the side, looking at the snow with her eyebrows scrunched up cutely and when she tried to repeat her father's words, it sounded like she said 'no' more than 'snow' but Gojo clapped for her regardless.

You quickly came in front of your daughter to get a video as you saw her start to take small steps further into the snow, enjoying the crunchy sound.

Gojo took the opportunity to turn away and gather up a bit of snow in his hands, rolling it into a ball all the while laughing silently to himself.

“Toru! Look at this pic—”, before you could even finish your sentence, a lump of snow came in contact with your arm.

Gojo burst out in hysterics and hugged his stomach tightly as you narrowed your eyes at him.

“You asked for it..”, you made your own snowball and launched it at your husband, hitting him square in the face.

Gojo wiped the snow from his face and looked at you in betrayal.

“Hey! What ever happened to the ‘below the shoulder’ rule?!”.

“This isn’t dodgeball Toru”, you rolled your eyes playfully.

The little girl let out giggles at her parents’ antics and attempted to make her own snowball, packing as much snow as her hands could hold and waddling up to her father.

With all her might, she threw the snow which barely grazed the man’s leg.

Gojo dramatically fell back on his butt. “Oh my goodness d/n! You’re too strong for me!”.

She had a pout on her lips and patted the fallen man’s shoulder as an attempt at consoling her father.

Gojo opened his arms. “I only accept apologies in hugs!”.

Your daughter leaped into his arms cheerfully and let her head rest against her father’s chest. Gojo looked your way, signalling you over with a nod of his head.

“You too wifey, I could’ve broken my nose cause of you!”.

“Oh I’m sure you would”, you voiced sarcastically yet you couldn’t hold back the smile creeping onto your lips as you embraced him against the snow along with your daughter.

Gojo could’ve simply used his infinity to block the snow from reaching him but the idea never even crossed his mind once. He would much rather embrace the joyous moment with his two most precious girls.

masterlist :)

[shininjjongg]

Ex!Husband Gojo who physically gags whenever he sees another man approaching you

Ex!Husband Gojo who has become an intolerable stalker ever since your divorce

Ex!Husband Gojo who firmly believes there is no one out there who could ever make you feel as good as he did, as happy as he did

Ex!Husband Gojo who still sends gifts to your doorstep even tho they always find their way to the trash bin

Ex!Husband Gojo who is keen on the idea that if there is love things must always work out, but love sometimes just is not enough

Ex!Husband Gojo who always tries his advances on you

Ex!Husband Gojo who successfully dragged you into his bed after a particular non-alcohol free party with your and his fellow coworkers

Ex!Husband Gojo who promised to use protection but never did so

Ex!Husband Gojo who hoped and begged any and every god that would listen to him that you'd bear his child

Ex!Husband Gojo who wants to babytrap you

Ex!Husband Gojo who knows there's no one who could protect you better than him after all he's the strongest

Ex!Husband Gojo who childishly believes that you two are soulmates, created for one another

Ex!Husband Gojo took his oath seriously, til death do us apart.

[kyumiscafe]

|| tw slightly Pervy neighbour Satoru + he has a big fat crush on his cute neighbour, panty stealing, taking a picture? It's faintly mentioned. Attempt at dirty talking (first post!!)

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Neighbour Gojo that ran into his new next door neighbour one day and was instantly fascinated by how adorable they looked in that oversized house shirt and skimpy shorts. So cute:((

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Neighbour Gojo that started to forget buying stuff like sugar and salt so he could ask his pretty next-door neighbour for some♡

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Neighbour Gojo getting more clingy and friendly with each day that passes

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Neighbour Gojo going out of his way to help his sweet girl next door, you need help fixing something? He got you pretty girl, carrying stuff around have you seen his muscles? Yup, just please smile at him and praise him again it makes his heart flutter♡

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Neighbour Gojo that's over the moon when he finally gets her phone number <3 it means they like him too right?

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Neighbour Gojo that slipped a photo of his sweet neighbour bending over to get him some rice, surely they won't mind?

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Neighbour Gojo getting increasingly more frustrated with his one night stands because they're just not his favourite girl next door :(

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Neighbour Gojo that swears he's not a pervert! And yet stole a pair of panties from their basket the last time he was over

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Neighbour Gojo that fists his cock every using the now ruined panties groaning his neighbours name as he spills all over his hand... they'd look so cute with his cum all over their face... ah shit he's hard again

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Neighbour Gojo that finally gets his chance, they're both a little tipsy and watching a movie, the mood is just right— before he gets the courage to do anything she's all over him and Satoru feels like he must be in heaven as those soft lips touched him

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Neighbour Gojo that gets too exited when they finally kiss so it's messy, sloppy, a make-out session filled with sheer desperation and lust, the movie long forgotten as his cute next door neighbour sat on his lap grinding against his aching boner. It's a struggle for him not to cum in his pants like a fucking teenager.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Neighbour Gojo that finally has his wish, face buried between her soft thighs, groaning and slurping, the sounds are .obscene, it's a mess, he loves it— Satoru knows what he wishes his last meal would be. "Messy fuckin' girl with a sloppy fuckin' cunt" he chuckled at the wet sounds her poor pussy makes under his relentless assault on her flesh "Hear that? She's speakin' to me so prettily, princess..." heaven indeed.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Boyfriend Gojo that simply refused to sleep elsewhere starting that night, he wants to sleep with his head laying on his pretty baby's chest, it feels warm, it feels like home— like he belongs there.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─

[nanamikentoseyebags]

I know i'm home

for everyone the scars on his body showed that for all his immense power, he was still human. for him they were an agonizing reminder that he would never let it happen again.

pairing: satoru gojo x gn!reader

content: just his little inner satoru finally finds peace, warmth and home, hurt/comfort, fluff

a/n: i've been thinking a whole lot about little satoru lately, here's the result of my reflections lol, hope you enjoy <3

The quiet, velvety night slowly descended to the earth, spreading out an endless blanket of dark sky, sprinkled with a myriad of shimmering stars, inviting the full pale moon to slumber upon it until daybreak. A light summer breeze penetrated into your shared bedroom through the slightly open window, filling every corner of it with a pleasant freshness while gently, as if by the hand of a lover, brushing the loose strands away from your face. The barely audible murmur of the leaves, intertwined with the lulling buzzing of night insects and the occasional trill of birds, produced melodies that any composer would have envied. You stood there barefoot, in his oversized T-shirt that reached your knees, leaning your arms on the windowsill and curiously observing the nature, engulfed in a captivity of a tranquil slumber. It was miraculous how, in this hectic and violent world, there were still such peaceful nights, reserved for the two of you.

You pulled away from the window, gently adjusting the thin floral curtain he'd hung so eagerly, almost on the verge of falling, a few days ago. Listening to the tinkling sound of running water, you tiptoed toward the bathroom, the door of which was slightly ajar. The moments of simple domestic intimacy were so rare yet so precious that his five-minute absence felt like hours of unbearable torture, while the desire to peek through that little gap and catch a glimpse of the dearest silhouette grew with each passing second. You reached the door gingerly, and, squinting slightly in hopes that you wouldn't make a loud noise, you pulled it toward you, widening the viewing angle and quietly peeking in.

Your face met the pleasant warm humidity. The lamps glimmered brightly, illuminating the white tiled walls, little pearl-like droplets still dripping down as if chasing one another in an unspoken game. Satoru was standing with his back turned to you, exposing his broad shoulders and strong back with his birthmarks scattered all across it as if he was a canvas and they were the drops of paint, placed there by the hand of a great master. His snow-white hair, sparkling in the light, shimmered in an array of colors, creating a subtle glow all around him. The misted surface of the mirror revealed the imprints of his large palm, which had rid of the unwanted shroud a few minutes ago, giving him a glimpse of his reflection. His left hand rested on the edge of the basin while the other firmly gripped the razor, moving expertly across his porcelain, now covered in a layer of shaving foam, skin.

Satoru remained concentrated, turning his head deftly and delicately wielding his razor blade. His celestial blue eyes were fixed on his own reflection, while his thoughts were elsewhere. Surrounded by an unusual silence, punctuated only by the gentle whisper of flowing water, he still heard far more than any human ear could. For Satoru, the quietest night, so silent and soundless to everyone, turned into a cacophony of noisy daytime sounds.

He diligently tried to keep the annoying thoughts and noises away from him, striving to mentally return to the pleasant moments of complete tranquility with you. He put all the unnecessary shaving items into the cabinet and bent down, rinsing off the rest of the foam and sending it down the drain along with his dark thoughts. Then he straightened, taking a quick glance at his face reflected in the smooth surface of the mirror and reached for the towel, as his gaze, surprisingly even for him, lingered a little longer on the scar, hidden behind the damp snowy strands that fell on his forehead, and then slowly moved to his neck, eyes flickering worryingly under the blinding light of the bright lamps. He cautiously, as if he were afraid of himself, brought his hand to his neck, tracing the damaged skin with his fingertips and swallowing heavily. He reluctantly lowered his gaze to his chest, staring with revulsion at the vertical scar that so distinctly marked his pale skin.

He shook his head a few times, as if driving away the ghosts of his past, and nestled his head into the soft cloth of the terry towel, gently removing the residue of water from his face. Finally, he lifted his head and flinched slightly, meeting your gaze in the reflection.

"Spying on me?" he immediately turned around, in a moment replacing his startled grimace with his usual wide grin.

"Me? Never," you smiled sheepishly, not expecting to be caught red-handed, and opened the door wider, taking a couple of timid steps in his direction.

"I thought you were already in bed, you little liar," Satoru smirked boyishly, holding out his arms and inviting you into his warm embrace.

"I couldn't sleep without you, so I thought I'd see what you were doing here without me," you teased, wrapping your arms around his strong body and gently stroking his back.

"Don't worry, sweetheart, nothing to make you feel neglected," he joked, sounding as confident as possible, but his eyes brimmed with all the colors of unrestrained sadness.

You slapped his back playfully, bursting into hearty laughter and burying your nose into his naked chest. His strong arms encircled your waist, pulling you even tighter against him as his lips left a light kiss on your head. Your palm slowly caressed his silky skin, tracing intricate patterns with your fingertips, feeling the hundreds of goosebumps running all over his body. You smiled, your index finger now drawing a small heart just where his heart was beating beneath it. Satoru shook his head, laughing softly and rolling his eyes, "You're so cheesy," but you could still feel his slender, long fingers leaving little hearts on every millimeter of your skin for several minutes now. You smiled blissfully, allowing yourself to melt into his tender embrace, forgetting time and plans, feeling only the comfort of his warmth enveloping you from head to toe and his heart beating right under your cheek.

You gently touched his deep scar, like a scorched mark resting on his flawless, soft-white skin. Satoru's breath hitched as he shuddered at the sudden sensation.

"Does it hurt?" a soft whisper, coming from your lips and fanning his chest with your hot breath, reached his ears.

"Of course not, silly, it has long since healed," he looked at you perplexedly, his eyebrows drawn into a thin line.

"No, does it hurt?" you stressed the last word, lifting your head and gazing into his wide-open hypnotic orbits, hoping that he would understand what you implied in that question.

His lips quivered, and his eyes flickered frantically over your face, trying to figure out if he should voice what had been languishing inside for so long. Small but obvious wrinkles appeared on his forehead, giving his face an even more baffled expression.

"Yeah...' he forcefully uttered the answer that was stuck in his throat, 'sometimes I feel his knife going through me all over again…,' his hand slowly covered yours, stroking your knuckles.

"Right...," you whispered, intertwining your fingers with his and squeezing his hand lightly, in hopes of showing that you could understand him.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm a kid again and I relive all this stuff over and over again, isn't that silly?" he chuckled sadly, hiding his eyes, in which you could notice snippets of the suffering he had seen throughout his life. It seemed as if, as he uttered these words, he indeed turned into a little boy, only the mischievous smile that everyone around him was so used to seeing had now faded, and his eyes no longer burned with such a vibrant light.

"It's not stupid at all," you lovingly brushed his hair away from his forehead, gently stroking his cheekbone, "I wish I was there to protect you from everything," you admitted sincerely.

"You know I would have done anything to prevent that," Satoru gently took your hand, leaving an appreciative kiss on your palm.

You nodded, knowing it was useless to argue with him, just hugged him a little tighter, while gently caressing his tense back muscles. You knew how hard he was trying not to reveal his true emotions to you, to keep cool, but it was his hands that were nervously rubbing the fabric of yours, or rather his T-shirt, and the ragged breathing that caused his chest heave so anxiously that made it all abundantly clear.

"I often wonder what that little boy I once used to be would have said to me after knowing how much pain and death those eyes had seen, what he would have thought when he saw that with every step I took there were bloody footprints on the ground, stretching endlessly behind me, how he would have felt when he noticed those scars, evidence that I had let it happen to him" he continued after a pause, burying his nose in your hair.

"He would have been proud of you," you uttered quietly, "after finding out what you had learned and what else those magic eyes could do, he would have admired seeing what your body, now adorned with a pair of battle marks, was capable of, he would have thanked you when he realized how many people you had saved. And he thanks you now for the way you protect him, because he still lives in you."

Satoru fell silent, holding his breath, heeding every single word that he felt was healing his wounds, kissing all the pain away. He closed his eyes, trying to hold back the tears that welled up in his eyes, and exhaled softly.

You caressed his side reassuringly, leaving a kiss on his shoulder, "I just know little Satoru feels safe now."

"Yeah, with you, little Satoru feels at home.”

***

The silent, dark night was replaced by a bright morning, filled with the peals of the birds, causing the sleeping moon to give way to the brilliant sun, illuminating the soft features of Satoru, who had fell asleep on your chest, with its gentle golden rays. The warm blanket he had so carefully wrapped you in before you went to sleep almost slid to the floor, his arm lazily wrapped around your waist while your legs were entwined, preventing you from moving. You smiled earnestly, fingertips stroking his soft skin and once again covering his body with little hearts, while your lips were leaving little kisses here and there. Your heart was full, realizing with its every beat that your whole world was encased in this one person. You lay there quietly, staring at his slightly fluttering white lashes and hoping that in one of the parallel universes you had somehow met sooner, and both little Satoru and little you knew no worries, faithfully carrying your love through life, holding tightly to each other with your intertwined pinkies.

thank you for reading, reblogs and comments are very much appreciated! &lt;3

art and dividers are not mine &lt;3

tags: @shamelessperfectionhideout @afortoru @keiskyutie @vagabond-umlaut @4sat0ruu @softsatoru @mitsuyeaah @playgrl0 @moonsinfonia @a-nuisance-called-sam @gojoshooter

[fgojo]

us, maybe? ( satoru g. ) chapter eight

tags. smau, romance, fluff, angst, college au, friends to lovers au, profanities, eighteen plus only—minors not allowed! thanks.

reblogs are always appreciated! <3

[riswippiesx]

Fallen God! Gojo Satoru X Fem! Reader part: one

| Part two

Thinking about fallen god Gojo, who had been living at a small village for a hundred years. People, who once worshiped him, now didn't even go near to his little hut. He lived by himself. When he went out, everyone used to go back inside their respective huts. The sheer loneliness made him distant and arrogant. His grumpy face scared people ever more. It was continuing untill oneday he met you. Your family had to change village because of some allegations about thievery. Your family was poor and helpless. To at least save your life, your parents had to change villages and thus you ended up reaching to the very village Gojo lived.

You didn't know much about the village stuff. You were twenty and full of energy. You had to explore and then you found gojo. His gorgeous blue eyes took a scrutiny of you from head to toe before approaching you with a grumpy expression. Unlike the locals, you didn't flinch a bit and stood stright infront of him and greeted him with a smile. This surprised Gojo, a lot.

From once or twice, it turned into daily meet ups between you two. Your bubbly personality brought peace and glory in his damp life. He smiled and talked with you. Everything was going well. You found yourself drowning in those blue eyes and he saw his soul intertwining with yours. It didn't took very long untill the friendship turned into something more. From friendly gestures to little blushes, you turned twenty five. Your parents wanted you to get married but knowing your past allegations, local men never accepted you. It wasn't like you want to be accepted either. You had already offered your soul to your fallen god.

It could have gone this way but life is a curse. Some unknown illness started to spread across the world, infecting almost everyone. Your village wasn't an exception. Your parents died. Soon the curse of this illness fell upon your life, blowing out all the candles you lit along with Gojo, all these years. The illness being dangerously contagious, no was was there to held the funeral for the dead ones. Bodies were thrown here and there, some, who were living alone, stayed inside, waiting to be rotten.

When Gojo found your body at a street side, laying lifelessly, his existence shattered infront of his eyes. He ran to you, picked you up. He was so powerless to rescue you. He couldn't. His blessing was often said to be turned into curses. Even for you, it turned into a curse, snatching you away from him, forever or so he thought.

Then the civilization progressed, people strated to use better technologies and started to live modern lives. Gojo had to change himself according to the era. He moved to a country side, lived in a cheap apartment, wore modern cloths, worked as a janitor for small offices, enough to handle his own little expenses. Everything changed but you stayed still in his heart. Never for once, he could forget you.

The god of fate was probably feeling a bit amusing, so he made Gojo meet a girl, who looked exactly like the girl he once adored and loved. When his eyes fell on the girl, buying some candies with a smile, he couldn't even trust his reliable eyes. You? It was you? It was really you?

He was quick to run to your direction. "Y/n...?" was all he could mutter which made you turn as you heard your name. "Yes?" you gestured him with a smile which was very known to him. It was enough to make his knees went weak. He kneeled infront of you. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he hold your hands with his. Your hands were as warm as he could remember. Your hands always warmed up his cold hands. "It is really you..." he mumbled.

Confusion was consuming you. You couldn't recognise the mysteriously gorgeous man infront of you. He hugged you, cried on your shoulder, your heart ached for some unknown reason. You let him untill he tried to kiss you. You felt uncomfortable and slapped him. Then pushed him away.

"Go away creep!" You started to walk away in annoyance. He would have followed you if the people of the street didn't stop him, suspecting him as a creep, trying to harrass girl. Did you come back for him?

No. You came back to live a better life. You were reincarnated. By fate, you had the same name. Gojo could clearly remember how the previous conclusion was. He couldn't let the history repeat itself. He would walk away. His blessing, rather his curse won't affect you for the second time. He missed your voice, he missed your sweet smile. But for his happiness, he couldn't push you further to your misfortune.

He started as you walked away with a disgusted face. Your hairs swayed with the air. His eyes softened, he was adoring you. He couldn't look away untill your silhouette blended with the further scenary.

"I love you...my love"

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated ♡

(By the way, requests are open, you can send me requests, just check the pinned post on my profile to know which fandoms I will write for <3)

[shinyac0re]

━━ 𝑺𝑯𝑨𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑬𝑫 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑹𝑻 ¡! 𝐠𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ━━━

( note: pls remember englisch is not my first language and there may be some grammar mistakes !)

★ angst, fighting, bad language, based on my smau „ Them still being in love w their ex !¡ “

Your heart was beating fast, too fast. You thought it was going to leap out of your chest and fall to the floor just right before your feet. Your body didn't move at all, as if it was no longer under your control. As if someone had pressed the pause button.

Your eyes starting slowly to burn and form crystal clear tears. One or two tears even made their way down your cheeks. Leaving a trace of smudged mascara with them.

Your heart broke into probably a million pieces. And you knew no glue in the whole world could stick them back together. Not even Satoru, who would always make sure to take care of your heart and put a bandage around it if it was hurt, could put the pieces together this time. Because he is the reason your heart broke in first place.

Your hand trembled. But not just your hand. Most likley your whole body. Still holding the thin piece of paper which caused your world to breake.

You never knew why everybody around you would glaze at you with that guilty eyes. But now you know. Because everybody knew and no one told you about it.

They knew the way Satoru would look at her. As if she’s the brightest star in the dark blue night sky. Just as if they were meant to be.

You would rather put the letter there where it was hidden, instead of talking with Satoru about it. You wanted to pretend not knowing about it.

But now it’s too late. Your tears already dropped onto the thin paper sheet. Causing the ink to smudge or completely disappear. You couldn’t turn back, no matter how much you wanted to.

Your carefully let your eyes wander all over the letter again. Only being able to see half of it since your view was blurred thanks to the tears. But maybe it was better this way, otherwise it would’ve just hurt to much.

„…please contact me again…“

„… sometimes late at night I still sit at our fav spot…“

„… I hope we meet again. But this time, the right time…“

„… I never wanted to lose you…“

„… I still think about you when I smell your perfume in public places because someone is wearing the same one as you…“

„ …In love, your Satoru…“

It was clearly his handwriting. You just knew it to well. The way he‘d put a little wing at the end of his name has betrayed him.

How could you be this blind?

Not being able to see that the person you love, loving someone else. You now knew Satoru would never love you as much as he loves her.

You suddenly hear the door shut. Which must’ve caused your body to be under your control again. » Baby? You home?« You hear his voice. Not answering you stand still at the place you found the letter. Y’alls bedroom.

» Hello? darling?« you hear his footsteps coming closer. With every step closer, you’re getting more nervous and anxious about what is to happen. You would love to run out of this situation. But your legs won’t move.

The door opens and it feels like it’s happening in milliseconds.

You see his white hair, the light pink lips, his sharp jawline and the cheeky grin he‘d always wear on his face in the corner of your eye.

» Hey why didn’t you answer?« he asks. He straight goes to his closet. He hasn’t seen yet that your standing there silently crying. Gripping that letter to find some hold, even tho it feels like the paper is burning into your skin. Just like the words Satoru wrote on it are burnt into your brain.

» Love is everything alright?« he comes near to you, trying to look at your face. But you can’t stop looking at the wall. His eyes slowly move to your Hand. The letter almost completely crumbled because of how thight your grip is.

» May I ask what your holding onto like your life depends on it.« he laugh’s. Not knowing he got caught.

Not knowing that Y/n is crying, because he can’t see her face. Her hair also hiding it like its a curtain and Y/n tries to hide behind it.

But suddenly your curtains moves. Revealing your red eyes and crying face. You can’t overhear how Satoru suddenly sucks in air as if it were his last breath.

» Hey love, what’s wrong?« he looks at you all worried. But the fact that this is all fake won’t leave your head. How should that even be possible.

You still stay quiet. Swallowing down all the words laying on your tongue. You can’t find the perfect words. Maybe because they don’t exist.

» Hey, you know you can talk with me right? I‘m not a stranger, we‘ve been together for over a year know.«

…“we‘ve been together for over a year know.“ those words replay in your head for a continuous loop. For over a year he‘s pretending to love you, when he was still in love with her. Telling you everyday, he loves you more than anything, knowing it was a lie.

Finally your able to move. You just show him the letter. Holding it directly into his face.

He needs some time to realize what your‘re holding in you’re Hand. And when he does, his ice blue eyes widen in disbelief. His mouth open without saying anything.

And now the anger takes over Y/n. » We‘re done.« is all you say before going to the closet they both share to get some of your stuff. Satoru just watching you unable to do anything because of the shook.

» Y/n wait! Please let me explain!« you stay quite. Shaking your head as an answer. » Please Y/n I‘ll explain it to you! You know- the letter is really old!«

You close your eyes. Trying to hold back tears. You won’t allow them to stream down your face. This is ridiculous. Is all you could think about. » Satoru, it’s over. Should I spell it for you?« you ask him with a tone of anger and disbelief.

His eyes are filled with tear’s. You laugh a bit because of that. He never really loved you, at least not as much es he loves her. But he still as tear’s in his eyes. » I can’t believe you did this.« you mumble to yourself while packing some of your clothes into a bag.

As you’re finished, you’re about to leave. » Satoru move.« you say and watch him not moving. He’s staying in the doorframe. » Y/n please, we can talk about. You know, like always when something bad happens.«

Your heart cracks a little more. Your sure you could hear it loud and clear in your ear. And if Satoru listened closely he could’ve heard it to. His words brought memories back to your mind.

How the two of you sat at a park bank together. The night sky filled with stars. He handed you his jacket as soon as he saw you were freezing. You talked about how scared you are because of his job. Because what if he wouldn’t come back one day.

This was your biggest fear. Getting a call from nanami. Telling you Gojo didn’t made it. He would never entered your house again or come to your bedroom to cuddle you. You were scared he wouldn’t comeback just for you to leave him now.

You take a deep breath. » No, there is nothing to talk about. You love her. Why would you want me to be in a one-sided relationship?—« you arch your eyebrow. »— You have two days to pack all of your shit, then I never want to see you again.«

This were your last words to him. Letting him stand there in silence while leaving him forever.

━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━━

| likes n reblogs r appreciated ! request always open !

[rayahayumi]

"why do you have to be so cruel...?"

"c-cmon y/n I was just a little busy! You know I'd never forget it intentionally! It was a mistake!"

Despite what satoru said, it seemed your heart didn't change. Your eyes stained with hurt as your brows furrowed and your lips trembled lightly. He looks at you with an expression spelling worry, one which wishes to coax you and finally hug you into his body—

Yet it seems this desire of him will stay as such as you're hell bent on keeping distance from him and staying mad at him. Your fists bunch up your shirt as you look at him with a wronged expression.

"you PROMISED me that you'd get me your sweater today! It's 3rd December! How could you barge into my house expecting cuddles without your sweater as offering?!"

"babe c'mon! You'll literally have ME as a gift instead! Heather could never!"

Satoru says as he strikes his little sassy man pose. His face expressing righteousness with a pout as he leans his weight on one leg, his hand simultaneously resting on the jutted out hip. Tilting his head down, he eyes you with a narrowed gaze. His black sunglasses sitting atop his straight nose bridge with his bright blue eyes peering over them, looking at you as if you're being a bigger brat than him.

"...b-but still! It's the PRINCIPLE toru!! The principle of sweater sharing!!"

"FUCK THE PRINCIPLE COME HERE ILL WARM YA RIGHT UP"

he exclaims as he launches his body towards you, a sharp grin on his lips as he tackles you into your couch. Both of you, now just a flurry of entangled limbs on the sofa as he looks up at you with puppy eyes as his chin rests on your chest.

"now c'mon my pretty little babe, you better start smiling cause your one and only beautiful boyfriend is cuddling you and warming you up."

He says with a haughty voice, snuggling into your chest before letting out a sigh. You can't help but huff, his adorable display already replacing your urgency for the sweater as you giggle and happily wrap your legs around his hips and let your hands rest on his hair and back, softly rubbing and caressing him as you support a giddy smile.

You're weak to him, to his words, his pouts, his smiles and to be honest anything he does. But oh well, you're loved the same way so I suppose being a little stupid in love doesn't hurt anyone ♡

We'll also ignore his roaming hands, at least they're big and warm hehe.

[grartsss]

You can also find on Twitter: grartss ❤️‍🔥

[tojikai]

Permanent Mark IX: Mistakes

Pairing: Gojo x Reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings:  pregnancy, mentions of abortion, insecurities, mentions of cheating

Series Masterlist

“Sometimes, our mistakes come back to haunt us...”

“You don’t plan on working for your parent’s company?” Satoru asked you as you played with his hair. He’s laying on his stomach with his head on your chest, and his fingers caressing your thighs. It was raining outside and the sky looked so dark yet the brightness in his eyes as they bore into yours lit up every corner of your bedroom. It’s been 6 months since you started dating officially and the other day, your parents came over, accidentally meeting him for the first time.

They got a bit upset that you didn’t even tell them that you were in a serious relationship, especially your Mom who almost did an in-depth, complete background check on Satoru. You remember how she once told you that if you were going to get into a relationship, especially if it’s a serious one, make sure that your partner will not cause any shame or taint your name and the company. She can’t have you marrying ‘just anyone.’

You hated how they always tell you what they want you to do yet never took the time to actually educate and look after you. You understand that they have been letting you off the hook for a long time now, allowing you to sit and look pretty even after you graduated college but you see it as them putting everything first before you. Your plan was to at least start a family of your own, and take care of your kid before you dedicate yourself to building the company because you know that once your mom gets her grip on you, it won’t be easy to get away from her.

“No. Not now.” You traced the bridge of his nose, making his eyes flutter shut. You admired him; even with the turmoil inside your mind, you always made space to marvel at his beauty. “I thought she was going to ask me to draw my family tree.” Satoru laughed, kissing the valley of your breasts, coaxing you to join him. It’s still fun now because it hasn’t happened yet but knowing how far your mom can go, it’s not a laughing matter at all. Your mother is not a bad person, just a…bad parent. She thinks of you as a pawn for her company, making sure that you’re suited for it when the time comes.

That’s quite contrary to how your Dad treats you. He’s responsible for the freedom that you’re having, and even if he’s not always with you, he never forgets to call you or check on you. You understand that what your mom is doing is because of all the things she wants to reach and prove to everyone. You just happened to be included in the materials that she needed to accomplish them, unfortunately. And you didn’t realize that it will comprise your personal and private life even as you grow older and become your own person.

“There’s nothing you can do. Abort it. Or you won’t get a single penny from us. I’ll throw you down with the regulars.” Your mother’s threats are not empty ones and you are sure of it. Even your dad turned to look at her, eyebrows furrowed at her harshness. Not once has this been mentioned, no matter how badly you acted and no matter what you did.

“That’s too much. Your daughter’s already here and working. What more will you ask of her?” Your father finally spoke, obviously not agreeing with your Mom’s decision. Despite your mother’s attitude, they never fought much even when you were little. You used to think that maybe they’re just too busy with this company to even argue, but looking at it now, you can’t help but think that maybe it’s because your father always chose not to reason with her. Not getting anything from your Mom is not a problem, you have your dad. And it’s not like you couldn’t do anything either. Now that you have a real responsibility, you know you’d do your best to adjust. You can’t forever be like this, anyway.

“It’s alright. I’ll take care of them. Y/N and the baby.” Satoru swallowed thickly, thinking of a way to get you out of the situation without being disrespectful, even as your mom threw him a sharp look. “You literally dumped my daughter and now you’re telling me that you could take care of her? Boy, I don’t trust you one bit.” Your mother snarled, looking Satoru down. You felt him slightly flinch, floored by your mother’s brutal honesty. You remembered how you told them that Satoru broke up with you, but never mentioned that he cheated on you. You could only imagine how harsher your mother would be if she knew.

Satoru took a deep breath, obviously taken aback by your mother’s words. He could see how different you are from her. You can be stubborn at times but you never look at people in such a way that could make them question their worth. He glanced down for a second before standing straighter, squeezing your hand but before he could answer your mom, you decided that it wouldn’t lead the argument to a better path. The only way to settle this down is to let your mother know that you’re firm with your decision.

“I won’t do it, Mom. I’ll work with the regular employees if you want me to. But this is my kid, I decide what I will do with it.” Your voice was shaking but even so, you did your best to stand up to your mother who could only look at you with annoyance. For some reason, you cannot let go of the growing life inside you. Shoko already told you that you’d have to be smart with your decisions, especially when it involves the baby. She reminded you of the situation and you understand how heavy it is but it’s not enough to shut down the warmth of happiness that fills your chest every time you think about how it could change your life.

Maybe after all the wrong things that you’ve done, you could finally do something right.

“Do you even know what you’re getting yourself into, Y/N?” Your mom sounded desperate as she sighed, shoulder slouching as her brows pulled up and bumped together. She looked more worried now than mad, like how she always gets when you get yourself into trouble. But this time, this is not mere trouble; it’s connected to you and your whole being. You know that you have another option and you're not overlooking that but right now, your choice is to keep it.

"I'm sorry, Mom." You took a deep breath as you blinked three times in a row, preparing yourself for whatever consequence it is that you’d have to face for being insolent after all the years of freedom that they have given you. You can see your mother shake her head as you look down at your feet. Satoru's body relaxed for a short while before he changed his stance, ready to leave.

"Are you two together again?" Your father asked, glancing at Satoru for a second before looking back at you. Your father’s not showing any signs of hostility towards Satoru and you know that it’s only because he has no idea why you broke up. You shook your head before your ex could answer and you could almost hear him sigh. You know that he's still hoping even if he wasn't telling you. But you're done with all of this. You cannot have yourself overthinking about the sturdiness of the relationship when it's built up on its own ashes after it burnt down to the ground.

"No. But he wants to be present—" Before you could finish, your mother's already cutting you off, her anger skyrocketing once again as she hears you make excuses for the man who carelessly stomped on your heart. "Then where will it lead you? You'd only end up falling back in the palm of his hand even if you don't want it. You know better than to settle for someone who'd throw you away so easily." Satoru winced, remembering how your mother refused to talk to him properly at the hospital if not for the sake of her image.

"You don’t understand, Mom." You exhaled, not caring if your voice broke. This situation is too much for you. The only preparation you made was about the baby. You didn't think they’d interrogate you about your relationship with Satoru too and you blame yourself for it. You should’ve known that they’d ask about the father if you tell them that you’re keeping it. You wouldn’t admit it to yourself that you purposely avoided thinking about what’s going to be the agreement between you and Satoru. You don’t want that kind of topic because it only reminds you that your child might never have a whole family and it’s breaking you.

“Just know that I’m not taking any of my words back.” Your mother held her head high despite the prominent frustration on her face. You can see your father reaching over to rub her back but she quickly turned to make an exit. You didn’t expect your mother to back down quickly, but you thought that maybe she was thinking about your state too. Your father shook his head, deep in thought as you felt Satoru’s hold on your hand loosen up a bit as he turned to you to scan your face.

“Are you alright?” He asked you, not letting go of your hand before he looked over to your father when he heard you hum. He was probably thinking of how to excuse the two of you to leave. It was eerily quiet and you could only watch your shadows on the tiled floor as you replayed the previous scene in your head. You unconsciously reached to pat your stomach, wondering if it could also feel the quick beats of your heart.

“If you need anything you can call, Y/N. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you’d have to beg—” Your father was interrupted by Satoru as he stepped forward, “It’s okay. I…I won’t make her do something like that. I’m just…just owning up to my mistakes.” Your father probably thought that you had to ask Satoru to stay with you for the sake of your child. You understand if he thought that it was the case. After all, what they know is that Satoru was the one who left. Knowing how they view you, your parents most likely assumed that it was you who made a problem.

“Why did you leave my daughter?” Your eyes widened when you heard how your father asked Satoru so directly. In an instant you were holding his arm, pulling him back as you tried to put your thoughts together to make an excuse for what happened. “We fell out of love.” You quickly answered, making Satoru look at you with a puzzled look. You cannot let your parents know. Not when you’re having a kid with him. You know that the baby is just as important to you as it is to Satoru and you could only think of how your parents would probably try to keep it away from him if they found out.

No matter how you think of it. You don’t think it will be fair to him if they step over his rights of being a father to his own child.

“I…I feel sick. C-can we go now?” You added quickly, squeezing Satoru’s arm tightly but not letting your father notice it. You hate to lie to him but this is for the better. It’d only cause more chaos if they found out. Your biggest fear is not raising your child with separated parents but it is raising your child without even knowing who his or her father is. “Do we need to go to the doctor?” Satoru held you by your arms, letting you lean on him, unaware of what you were trying to do. You simply shook your head and looked at your father who was already on his feet, pulling out his phone from his pocket.

“Sit here, I’ll call a doctor.” You almost cursed when he spoke the idea but instead, you shook your head, insistent on just leaving before everything gets worse, “No. Maybe I just need to rest. Can we just go home?” Your eyes flicked between your father and Satoru. You felt bad that you were worrying them but what else could you do?

”Alright, uhm…I’m sorry for what happened.” Satoru spoke to your father, not really knowing what to say after the situation with your mom. You could see your father shaking his head at him, “Just make sure she’s safe. Y/N, call me. You know your mother’s just like that but she loves you.” He reminded you, walking closer to give you a hug. You only nodded your head, feeling your father rub your back to comfort you. “I’ll talk to her. Don’t worry.” You pulled away with a hum, stepping away to let Satoru once again support your body.

It felt like all the tension escaped your body the moment you heard Satoru bid goodbye to your father. You could feel your muscles loosening as you quietly sighed in relief, letting your ex walk you out of your Mom’s office. You heard your fingers crack as you clenched your fists when you stepped into the elevator. It was the same elevator you and Rie talked in and you couldn’t help but flinch at the memory.

“How are you feeling? Your father was right, we should see a doctor.” Satoru tucked a strand of hair behind your ear as you pressed your lips together. You suddenly thought of what it’d be like if you were to run into Rie here. If you get stuck in the same room as them, you'd claw your way out of the walls just to run. It’s almost as if your heart was reminding you that he’d never choose you over her.

He’d only choose you if she wasn’t one of the choices. Your lips twitched downwards as you looked away, trying to ignore the pang in your chest.

"What are you thinking about?" He spoke in a soft voice beside you, watching your face in an attempt to read whatever is bugging you. "Nothing important." You took a deep breath, blinking fast as you shook your head. Out of all the times that you've been in this elevator, this is the slowest ride so far. Satoru took a step closer to you and you can tell that he just wants to get out of the building as well by the way he keeps shifting his weight on his two feet. Halfway down, someone got in and you had to force a smile and a greeting as countless thoughts run inside your mind.

The moment the elevator door opened to the lobby, Satoru was already guiding you out. His hand was resting on the small of your back as you tried to look calm even with the quick big strides that you were making. It felt like the building was slowly closing in on you. Like it's starting to get smaller and narrower the longer you stay inside it. You don't know if anyone heard what happened inside your mother's office but you thought that it's best if you avoided everyone's eyes.

You didn't know that among those eyes that are watching you walk down that building with the father of your child are the eyes of a woman whose heart you also ruined. Rie watched from afar as you and Satoru strode past the glass doors before making a turn to where his car was parked, wondering how you are walking so casually with him as if the guy didn't betray your trust and crush your soul.

"That's the boss's daughter. You know her?" The woman dropped the stack of paper in front of her as she shook her head, not wanting to associate herself with Y/N anymore. But Satoru, he still got her heart thumping. Even after he spilled everything to Rie about why he wanted to leave her, she still couldn’t help but hope that maybe he’d come back. Maybe he’s just guilty, maybe he just felt bad for what he did to you.

“Are those the papers I signed earlier? Why are you doing this in the lobby?” Your mother’s voice suddenly boomed behind Rie. Stepping back a bit to the side, she made way for her as she checked the papers. “I was just helping her sort it out, ma’am since I don’t have much work in my hands.” The employee answered, watching the way your mom’s eyes scanned the documents for a bit before they turned to Rie. The woman’s features are strong yet beautiful, they’re nothing similar to yours. It only led Rie to the conclusion that you must look like your father. You look a lot less fierce than your mother. Rie bowed her head a bit when her eyes swept her up and down.

“Oh, it’s you again.” Rie smiled politely, greeting your mother as she turned to face her fully. To be honest, Rie was a bit nervous when talking to her because of how serious she always seemed. She could already tell why you can’t stand living in the same house as her but what Rie couldn’t understand was how you weren’t scared enough to follow every word she says. But then again, parents—no matter how strict they are, have the tendency to spoil their children. And you’re an only child. It’d only make sense if you grew up getting everything you want even just by throwing a bit of a tantrum.

“Do you…” Rie isn’t dumb. She’s aware of the possibility that you might’ve told your mother about her already. The question is: which version did you tell about her? The woman who your boyfriend cheated on you with? Or the woman your ex-boyfriend cheated on with you? Either way, Rie knows that she’s not winning because this is your mom. There’s no way she’d take into consideration that Rie got betrayed too.

“Do you happen to know my daughter?” Your mother continued, almost confirming Rie’s initial thoughts about you telling her your story. “A friend? A former classmate?” She inquired further, doing her best to plaster a friendly smile on her face. She notices how Rie looks so tense just by talking to her. It was a harmless question really, but after talking to so many people all her life, negotiating and sealing deals, your mother could easily read someone’s expressions and actions.

“Not really, ma’am. Just…through an acquaintance. I knew her through an old high school classmate.” Rie smiled, enveloping her right hand with her left just to check the temperature, something she does out of habit when in such situations. She can see your mother nod before her eyebrows scrunched up as if she’s deep in thought, “The doctor?” Your mother tried to guess, referring to Shoko and Rie only nodded, not wanting to drag the conversation long. She’s already uncomfortable around your mother, and she made it worse by asking about you.

“I figured. She helped Y/N a lot when she was at the hospital.” I know that. I was one of the reasons why that happened to your daughter. Rie’s eyebrows furrowed for a second at the thought. She remembered seeing Shoko with your parents in the waiting room when they got there, it felt like everything happened only yesterday. She realized that her romance with Satoru was cut too fast and too short. It still stings but she knows that she’d take him back in an instant if he ever changes his mind.

“So, you know Satoru too? And the tattoo artist.” Rie almost wondered if your mother was a mind-reader. An annoying one. “Y/N said they’re classmates.” She tapped her long nails at the top of the marble table. It sounded like the ticking of the clock and it all felt like a time-gated interview that would cost her something if she didn’t answer on time. She nodded again, avoiding your mother’s eyes as she pursed her lips. She can see her nod from the corners of her eyes.

“Oh well, you guys do what you should be doing. I’ll get going now.” Rie almost let out a sigh of relief as she heard the clacking of her heels fade away into the distance. She can hear her friend giggling as she closedsher eyes, taking a deep breath. She really thought that she was going to confront her about you. Even if she knew that you and your mother were not that close, she’s also aware that your mother would do anything to make sure that you’re not being stepped on.

“You know Miss Y/N?” Her friend asked, placing the papers in front of Rie. “Not personally. The guy with her is an old friend.” Rie followed the direction where your mother went, both curious and scared as to why she’s intrigued by her. “Ah, I see. Miss Y/N’s nice. She only started training and working here a couple of weeks ago.” Shaina smiled at Rie which she returned with a forced one.

“That man’s her ex. But I heard he’s trying to win her back even though he dumped her for someone else not long ago. At least that’s what the rumors here say. Don’t mention it to anyone.” Shaina hushed, eyes darting around to check their surroundings. Rie could only block out all the compliments her friend was saying about you. She doesn’t want to hear it. She doesn’t want to know about your life. She’s still not over everything and to see you looking so okay with Satoru following you around didn’t help at all.

It wasn’t the kindest thought but how else is she going to feel when you’re the reason why she’s hurting? She still regrets letting Satoru go with you that day.

_______________________________________

“Thank you, I’ll just call you when I need something.” You murmured as you reached for your seatbelt before Satoru beat you to it. His brows furrowed at your words, “I can’t leave you, you’re not feeling well. What if something happens to you and the baby?” He slouched in his seat, eyeing you through the rearview mirror. As much as possible, you still try to keep your distance from Satoru, constantly reminding yourself that whatever you’re doing right now is just for the sake of the life that you two made. Nothing more.

You know that what your mother said is not impossible. Being with him can only make you fall back into him.

“I lied. I just wanted to leave.” You told him directly, watching as his mouth slightly opened at your confession. You fidgeted with your fingers before clicking your tongue and reaching for the door. “Are you sure? I can stay with you, my work can wait—” Satoru was cut off when you let out an annoyed sigh as you turned your head to the window. “We don’t live together, Satoru. You stay with me for the baby but that doesn’t mean that you can just go in and out of my flat as you please. You’re not my boyfriend.” You opened the door to step out, ignoring the pained expression on his face.

Satoru had to stare at your back as you walked inside your building, throbbing pain in his chest and a tight feeling in his throat. This wasn’t new to him ever since he tried to win you back but it still hurt. It’s been something that he’s kept in him for so long because he knows that he doesn’t have the right to complain but these days, Suguru has more access to you and your everything than him. It hurts to see that everything that he’s lost is now seemingly making its way to somebody else.

Satoru doesn’t know the depth of what you two share but he’s aware of how deep Suguru’s feelings go for you are. He doesn’t know what happened on all those nights that you were needing him but Suguru was the one beside you. He doesn’t know anything about the two of you anymore and it scared him. It’s like karma biting him back in the ass twice as hard after what he pulled on his best friend five years ago.

“Suguru, you free?” He spoke on the phone, looking again at the number that he unknowingly dialed as he looked at the doors of your apartment building. He hoped that you’d step out of it and take back everything you said and instead ask him if he wanted to stay. He knows that you’re still upset about what happened earlier and Satoru wants nothing but to erase all those thoughts from your mind. But how is he gonna do that when you locked him out?

“I’m about to close the shop, why?” He can hear Suguru doing something in the background. Satoru needs to talk about it all or he’ll end up losing his mind. If he finds out anything that would destroy him then he’d let it destroy him. It’d be unfair if he were to counter it when he’s the one who caused it. He’s left with no other option but to stay quiet and understand.

“Let’s go out for a drink. Y/N’s mad at me.” Satoru chuckled at the ache in his chest. It’s not the ‘You annoy me’ type of mad but the ‘I can’t stand being in the same place as you.’ type of mad that you’re feeling for him. It’s agonizing to think that the person who used to love him with all her heart and more is now closing herself away from him.

He can’t blame you for wanting to protect yourself from him.

“She always is.” The sound of the door slamming shut can be heard from Suguru’s line and Satoru took it as a cue to start his car again. “Alright, let’s just meet there, send me the place.” Suguru continued and Satoru could only hum, and thank him for agreeing. He quickly sent him a message before proceeding to drive. It was a cold and silent war the two of you are going through. Satoru has his white flag raised high but still, he continues to charge toward you, wanting nothing but to be on the same side as you again.

Reaching the pub, Satoru was thinking of how to ask the question in his head without aggravating the other. It’s been there for weeks now, and now that he’s seeing that his situation with you is not improving at all, he knew he had to talk to his friend. There are times when you’d call Suguru when he’s around and he feels like a third wheel; like he’s listening in on a conversation spoken in a language that the two of you understand.

He asked Shoko about it already but the only answer that he got was “We stayed with her when you were gone.” but it was never about Suguru alone. She’s the on who suggested Satoru talk to the two of you but he doesn’t want to stress you with that. If there’s something that you aren’t telling him, then it’s fine. He won’t force you to tell him, like you said, you’re only letting him in because of the baby.

“Hey,” He tapped Suguru’s shoulder as he walked by him to sit on the other side. He looked around, licking his lips as he nodded, thankful that it wasn’t as crowded as he expected it to be. He still doesn’t know how to talk to Suguru about this. Hell, he doesn’t even know why he was so insistent on knowing about it. It’s not like it would change anything. A positive and negative response is just equal at this point.

“How’s Y/N?” Suguru pulled up his sleeve, leaning on his elbow as he pushed the drink he ordered for his friend. He’s got a feeling that this hang-out isn’t just for catching up. Eyeing his best friend and his stance, he could tell that he was about to ask him something. Spending more time with you brought you, him, and Shoko closer together; him especially. You were close before but now, it feels as if he’s seen everything already. In a span of two months, you made him feel as if he’s been missing you his whole life.

It was like you were making up for the lost time that he was supposed to be with you.

“She’s doing good. I just dropped her home.” Satoru scratched his head as he chuckled mirthlessly before proceeding, “She locked me out again.” He shook his head, before looking up to meet Suguru’s eyes. He can tell that he feels sorry for him. He’s looking at him with sympathy, probably thinking if he should tell him words of comfort or just say ‘you had it coming.’ But instead, he just sighed and took a gulp of his drink.

“You know it’s not going to be easy.” Suguru shook his head, leaning back as he traced the body of his glass, there was a short moment of silence before Satoru’s deep intake of breath cut through it, “I don’t even know if it’s gonna work.” Suguru felt bad for his friend. He knows that what he did was wrong and the damage he had caused to you may be beyond repair but the way he’s dedicating his everything just to be with you again when there is no certainty is undeniably admirable.

“You’re gonna ask me something,” Suguru stated rather than ask. It only made Satoru smile, chuckling as he nodded his head signaling that Suguru’s assumption was right. Suguru doesn’t plan on lying about anything. You two already talked about what happened, you didn’t try to deny it or even ignore it. If anything, the day after that, you both opened it up to each other.

“It wasn’t a mistake, I know what I was doing.”  You plopped down on your couch in front of him as he tried to predict what you were thinking. Suguru was aware too but the thing about intoxication is you don’t really have enough control over your body. Especially when you’re hurting. And also when he’s pining. Your desire to forget and his suppressed feelings for you were intensified by the alcohol and that’s why it happened.

“Look, I know what I did was wrong-” He started, leaning his elbow on his knees as he heard you sigh, clicking your tongue as you put down your cup. “Stop blaming yourself, I let it happen too.” You closed your eyes, thinking of how it would affect Satoru when he finds out. Sure, he cheated on you. And yes, you’re not together anymore but Suguru is still his best friend. Betrayal is betrayal and no matter how fast you try to run away from it, you know that its consequences are bound to catch up to you— even if you weren’t intentionally trying to hurt him when something happened between you and Suguru—if you don’t fail to make things right..

“If he asks you about it, don’t lie.” You swallowed, rubbing the back of your neck with your hand. “I’d tell him about it, I just have to figure out how.” You added and it only made Suguru wonder if you’d take it all the way with him if he asked you to. He wondered if you’d agree to be with him if he told you how he feels for you. But he won’t. He already feels like he took advantage of you because of what happened. Acting on his selfish feelings will only prove how bad of a friend he is to Satoru and to you.

“Look, I’m sorry. I was less drunk, I should’ve—” Another click of your tongue made Suguru stop yet again. You sighed as you stared at him, shaking your head, “I told you not to blame yourself. I initiated it.” You reminded him, but it only made him feel more guilty, thinking that he should’ve never given in. No matter how much control he lost over himself. As if that was an easy thing.

“I was thinking of telling him about it already, you know?” You sighed, fiddling with your fingers as you recalled your thoughts earlier before you and Suguru decided to talk. “But I realized, it’s not like we started dating. And it’s not like he’s still my boyfriend either.” You explained, glancing up at him just to see his reaction because you’re not really sure if you’re making sense. “But then again, he’s still your friend. It’d be even more disrespectful if we tried to hide it from him. We’re gonna have to tell him about it soon.”

Suguru nodded as he looked at you, your eyes glued on the carpeted floors as worry and disappointment became more prominent in your features with each passing second. Suguru knows that Satoru is more than curious about what happened while he was gone. His ex-girlfriend spent time with his best friend almost every day. If Suguru was in his place, he’d probably worry about it too. It’s not like there was no trust in their friendship. But knowing that your best friend used to harbor feelings for your ex-girlfriend, and probably still does, is something that could create such thoughts.

The plan to confess everything to Satoru didn’t change, but your pregnancy happened and all of a sudden it’s the least important thing. So many things were changing and taking place that your initial plan to talk to Satoru got buried under them all. Suguru can almost see the consequences of that negligence right now.

“You still have feelings for Y/N?” He asked casually as if he wasn’t bouncing his leg up and down under the table due to anxiousness. He took a big gulp of his drink, preparing himself for whatever answer he may get. Satoru promised himself that he wouldn’t start a fight. That’s why he chose this space, thinking that maybe it could help him keep his emotions in check. But obviously, Suguru knows him better than that.

“I’m going out for a smoke. We should talk outside.” He stood up from his seat, not waiting for Satoru as he pulled out a packet of cigarettes. Satoru stared at the back of his head as he followed like he was trying to read his thoughts, desperate for answers as the long walk to the parking lot burned his patience. Suguru went to the farthest end, near the fence where no one could hear them. Had Satoru known that he’d be like this about it, he would’ve met him somewhere else instead.

“Why won’t you just say it to me? Something happened, right?” Satoru clenched his teeth as he watched Suguru pause his movements before putting the cigarette packet back in his pants. He couldn’t even bother to smoke now that he can feel his best friend’s rising temper. He wanted to protect Satoru’s feelings and you from whatever he might say or do if Suguru admits the truth. But it was like he can almost hear your voice, reminding him to just say the truth instead of stacking up the lies.

“Yeah.” Satoru’s hand clenched as he looked away, swallowing away his wrath as the images of you and Suguru doing it in the bed you once shared played before his eyes. Did you think like this when he was away with Rie too? It’s driving him insane. The thought of it, the idea of it was squeezing his heart, shattering his very core as strings of whispered curses rushed past his lips. Satoru can almost hear your voice calling out Suguru’s name and he can already taste the blood in his mouth.

“When?” Satoru tried to keep his voice calm but failed. There was a big difference in the lighthearted tone of his voice from when he was talking inside the bar to now. “How and why did it happen?” Every word that comes out of his mouth keeps getting louder but Satoru cannot control it. Not when the thoughts of someone else making you feel the same way he did was racing inside his head. “I know I’m not her boyfriend anymore, but what the fuck, Suguru?”

Satoru was panting as he spoke the last part. He can hear his teeth grinding against each other as he clenches them. He waited for his friend to answer, patiently and then, impatiently. He doesn’t know when he grabbed his shoulders to turn him around, quickly grabbing his collar to pull him harshly. Satoru’s eyes were blown wide as he breathed heavily, eyes full of anger, hurt, betrayal, disappointment, and frustration.

“It happened sometime after you tried to get back with Y/N. She was drunk and I was too.” Suguru started, eyebrows furrowed as he remained unmoving even as Satoru’s grip on his shirt got tighter. He’d seen this coming. Of course, he’d get angry. Finding out that your ex did something like that with your best friend is revolting. Some may even consider it unforgivable. Suguru is in the wrong this time and he’s got no plans but to own up to them. No matter how shitty Satoru treated Y/N, he still doesn’t deserve this betrayal.

“And you never told me? I asked you multiple times if there’s something going on between the two of you.” Satoru’s teeth started to tingle from how hard he was clenching his jaw and grinding his molars together. It was starting to get painful and he could feel his hands get colder as his knuckles started to feel numb from the friction with the fabric of his friend's shirt.

“I’m sorry—” Suguru was cut off by a punch from Satoru as he briefly let go of his shirt before pulling him back again, slamming his body against his as he let out all his frustrations through his words, shaking his friend as he glowered at him with bloodshot eyes, red with anger and the strain from fighting back his tears. Suguru couldn’t bring himself to punch back but instead just let his friend shake an answer out of him.

“Did you plan this?”, “Is this Y/N’s way of getting back to me?”, “Will you ever tell me if I didn’t ask?” The questions kept pushing their way out of Satoru’s lungs, taking his breath away with them, and leaving him panting. “What did you do? Tell me everything.” Satoru glared directly at Suguru who was now wiping the blood off his chin. His eyebrows furrowed as he hung his head down in shame.

“I…I touched her.” Suguru started but was quickly cut off by Satoru’s growl, “How?” He tried to steady his breaths as he took a step away from his best friend as if controlling himself not to throw another hit on him for the sake of the answers that he was trying to get out of him. It was hard. Especially when the images of the woman you love being pleasured by someone else keep flickering before your eyes.

“We didn’t do it, Satoru. I touched her but she didn’t touch me. I left before something worse could happen—” Curses flew out of Satoru’s mouth as if Suguru just gave him the dumbest explanation ever. “You think that changes anything?” He chuckled bitterly, his eyes are now more sad than angry. Satoru shook his head, mouth twitching as he backed away, letting go of Suguru’s shirt.

“Were you just waiting for me to fuck up before you pull some shit like this?” Satoru chuckled, looking at Suguru like he just caught up on his plans but Suguru knew that it was nonexistent. What happened between the two of you just happened. He’d never plot something like this against his friend. He’d never thought of it. No matter how much he wanted you, he never wished ill about your and Satoru’s relationship.

“I wouldn’t do that to you—” Suguru was once again interrupted when Satoru grabbed his shirt again, with both hands this time. “But you did! You know how vulnerable she was!” Suguru flinched, his brows pulling together as he let his friend let all his anger out. He cannot blame Satoru for thinking that way. Suguru knows damn well that anyone who’d hear the story would think that he took advantage of you and the situation you were going through.

“Did you think it would make her love you? Did you think that after all these years, that’s all it would take to make her love you?” It was painful to hear those words because Suguru knows the answer to them. Not once has he and Satoru talked about their feelings for you even if it was not a secret to them and Shoko. “Don’t think that just because I fucked up, you can love her more than I do. You cannot take my place, Suguru. You weren’t even able to get her back then when we weren’t together, what makes you think you’d get her now?”

It was now Suguru’s turn to throw a strong punch at his friend, sending him staggering backward. To get angry at him for the betrayal that he did was one thing but to bring up the past that he was struggling to forget every day was another. Thoughts of what ifs and what could’ve been haunted him from the moment he gave you away. And to hear about it now is just another bullet in his heart. The first sentences were hurtful enough even though he knows that he deserved it.

“You know why she never fell for me!” Suguru spat back, panting as he stopped himself from throwing another punch. He should be the one being beaten because of what he did but he just can’t let it go. He’s been keeping it all to himself for the sake of his friendship with Satoru and you. Suguru decided that if he was going to remind him of it then, he might as well repeat to him why he got you too.

“I loved her first!” Suguru shouted, finally letting go of all the words that he’s been dying to say. In all those moments that you were with him, in every tear that he wipes away from your eyes part of him regrets just giving up on you. He couldn’t count how many times he wondered if surrendering was the right choice he made.

“I really like Y/N, you know?” Satoru threw the small pebble across the road, letting it tumble on the hot pavement before coming to a stop under the streetlight as it hit its pole. To be honest, Suguru doesn’t know how to respond to him and that’s why he kept quiet, waiting for Satoru to say more about his feelings for you. Suguru can already feel how complicated it would be if he told him his.

“And you do, too. Right?” Satoru chuckled, elbowing his side. Suguru looked at him, there was nothing but seriousness on his face. He can’t find it in himself to laugh when he’s aware of how profound his emotions toward you are. And knowing his friend, Satoru might downplay a lot of things but Suguru knows him too much to not understand the underlying meaning of his statements.

“I…” Suguru heard the air passing through his teeth as he inhaled sharply, Suguru didn’t like how he hesitated to tell him the story as if it was something so big of a deal. Satoru is a man who speaks his mind, so for him to pause before saying something to Suguru made him feel like he was about to open up about a serious topic.

“We…something happened between Y/N and I.” Satoru sounded very steady as he let the sentence flow out of his mouth. Like it’s something he’s been rehearsing just to tell Suguru. “Look, I’m not trying to one-up you or anything. It just happened, we were hanging out and you were busy.” Satoru turned his body to him. All of a sudden everything was just quiet. The distant sound of cars speeding down the empty street in the middle of the night was loud even if it was out of sight.

“You know I was trying to pursue her,” Suguru replied, sighing heavily as he untied his shoes just to do something with his hands. He felt helpless after what Satoru said and he was already subconsciously admitting his defeat. Satoru shifted beside him, running a hand through his hair as he shook his head slowly, making Suguru chuckle.

“I…You never told me. You didn’t tell her either. It was never confirmed, how am I supposed to know?” Satoru doesn’t want to ruin his friendship with Suguru. He had a feeling that he liked Y/N more than others but he didn’t think that he was that serious about it. He cannot find it in himself to let you slip away too.

“Look, It wasn’t intentional. Had I known that you feel like that for her I would’ve—” Satoru turned his body to Suguru, stopping himself when he saw his best friend looking down. With his lips pursed, Suguru turned to Satoru. He was expecting him to have an angry look on his face, a look of betrayal. Satoru wanted him to be mad at him for being so careless with his feelings but Suguru just smiled at him. A light chuckle escaped his lips as he stood up, tapping Satoru’s shoulder in the process.

“It’s cool. I’ll get over it.” His hand instinctively reached out for the lighter in his pocket, pulling it out to play with it as silence took over everything. “Just…make her happy. Don’t play with her, Satoru.” Suguru glanced at him briefly over his shoulders. Satoru could only sigh as he watched Suguru’s back. He knows that Suguru is a nice guy, but he can’t help but feel like he should’ve been more observant of how he treated you.

“I know you’re thinking about giving way, Satoru. You can’t do that. It’ll only get awkward for the three of us; especially for Y/N, you know?” It took everything in him to make the conversation sound as light as it can be; in contrast with the heavy feeling in his chest—almost as if he was being dragged down by the ground. Almost as if it’s wanting to swallow him whole.

Happy crushes shouldn’t feel like this.

Just like back then, Satoru couldn’t answer. He doesn’t know what to say when his best friend just slapped him with the truth that’s been lurking in his shadows all this time. He knows that he’s got no business talking about how Suguru wouldn’t get you when the only reason that kept him away from you was Satoru. Had his best friend not held back from you before, would you be stuck with him now? It’s almost as if it was a butterfly effect. Things wouldn’t be like this now if you were with the better man.

Satoru wouldn’t want to hear that from you, though. He doesn’t want to hear you regret not noticing his best friend first when he could’ve been the better option for you. Satoru would only get this selfish with you. Even when he doesn’t have the right to. It’s just too painful to think about how he’d probably never be enough for all the love that you are ready to give. He’s not worthy of it but that doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t work for years just to be deserving of it.

“Don’t tell me that you love her more, you’ve done too much to convince me of that,” Suguru added, wiping the corner of his mouth as he panted, calming himself down. To be perfectly honest, he was already over it all. He wasn’t praying for his best friend to fuck up just to get a chance with you. He loves you but he’s way past the stage of being jealous of Satoru. But it’d be a lie if he said he never wished it was him to sleep next to you during the first months of your relationship.

He just slowly got over it. Realizing that seeing you every day, smiling and fine is enough for him. Realizing that he’d be able to be close to you, to look after you, even as a friend is enough for him. But they were right. It’s easy to fall back in love with someone you already loved before—very easy.

Because if it’s not, he wouldn’t be putting his heart on the line, the moment Satoru messed with you. He wouldn’t be holding your hand as you fall asleep beside him at night, with tears streaming down your face as you whimper your heartbreaker’s name. He wouldn’t be breaking his barriers just to make sure you’re getting all the attention you need even if it means crushing his own heart again. Suguru isn’t dumb. He knows that you don’t plan on getting into anything serious with him but that became fine for him too. A sad reality that he woke up to every day but is only accepting today.

You only wanted the comfort and kindness that he gave you. But you never wanted his everything as you did with Satoru. Like he did with you.

You just didn’t want to be lonely, and he just happened to be there with you.

“I know I’m wrong, Satoru. It was a moment of weakness, what else can I do?” Suguru muttered, jaw clenching as his nails dug into his palm. “Bringing up the past wouldn’t fix it. I don’t even know how to make this shit up to you.” His voice almost broke at the last part.

Satoru just stood there, looking at him as a single tear rolled down to his chin. He quickly ran a hand through his face, sighing violently as he looked away from Suguru. It’s like a crash from the wrath that he was feeling earlier. It still hurts. Knowing about what happened that night is a thorn in his heart. Something that he wouldn’t bother to pull out even if it killed him—even if he was stepped on too.

Because if one looks closely and traces all the events that had happened and are happening now, he would always be the main cause.

It was his actions that led everything and all of you to this mess. Suguru watches as Satoru straightens his posture, running a hand through his hair as his lips quiver ever so slightly. “Was Y/N planning to tell me the truth?” Satoru spoke, turning to his right as his eyes looked straight ahead. There was nothing but sorrow in his light blue eyes as he bit his inner lip.

“Yes. It’s been bothering her but she cannot find the right time.” Satoru sighed loudly, nodding slowly as he slightly turned his head to look at the ground between him and Suguru. “Don’t stress her out because of this, if you’re mad just take it out on me,” Suguru added, worried that Satoru might confront you about it. “And don’t suspect her of anything else, Satoru. You know she wouldn’t do something like that.”

“She’s pregnant with my child, what makes you think I’d do that to her?” Satoru emphasizes the term of possession. As if trying to prove something with it, when in reality, that’s just him reassuring himself. He’s agitated by the fact that Suguru could tell where his accusations are going. He pushed them all aside, not wanting to think like that about you.

“I know what’s good and bad for her,” Satoru added quietly, too drained to start anything again anymore. Suguru could only watch as Satoru walked away from him, quick to find his car and eager to go back to you.

—---------------------------

Three knocks at the door made Y/N’s eyes widen in shock as she looked back at it. Turning off the stove, she trudged towards the door but not before peeking through the hole. Seeing the father of the growing child in her womb, she opened the door. Her blank face faltered at the obvious redness of Satoru’s eyes.

“Why?” Y/N questioned but still stepped aside to let the man in. Satoru sighed at the warm air inside the room. It’s always warm near Y/N. He thought letting the comforting atmosphere that he was feeling despite the cold welcome that you gave him. It’s like he’s already contented to know that you are still letting him around you, to be near you even after all that he’s done. Maybe you’re only doing it for the sake of your baby but it still made Satoru hopeful.

“Nothing. I had a few drinks. Are you cooking?” Satoru gave a small smile as he stepped inside, peering at the kitchen as he changed the topic. He knows that you noticed but he can’t have you stressing about anything now. It’s not easy to hide the evidence of how much he poured his feelings out while he drove. Stopping at the dimly lit parts of the street just because he can’t see anything in front of him.

“Yeah.” You closed the door, not taking your eyes off of him as he walked to your kitchen, removing his jacket on his way to place it on the couch. Your eyes followed the clothing, staring at it blankly for a few seconds, before shaking your head, blinking as you snapped the thoughts out of your head.

“Why are you here?” You walked to the kitchen, seeing him turn the stove on again. He glanced at you briefly before focusing on the dish again. “I figured you’d probably want something to eat.” He took a deep breath, trying to think of a way to sound collected. “I was thinking about calling you to ask if you want something but you don’t like fast food nowadays, right?” He smiled at you, tapping the spatula on the lip of the pan.

“M-hm.” You hummed pulling a chair out to sit, “Where were you?” You reached over to grab the apple sitting inside the basket in the middle of your kitchen table. You heard the stove turn off before Satoru laughed lightly, “I went drinking with Suguru after he closed his shop. Just a light drink.” His hand brushed your shoulder in a soothing manner as he walked behind you, grabbing a plate.

“Why? Did you miss me?” He teased as he tried to carefully put the food on the plate before putting it in front of you. You scoffed, “You wish.” You grabbed the spoon and fork that he was handing out to you, hearing him chuckle. He continued to move around your kitchen, placing a tall glass on the table as he poured you some orange juice. You chewed your food as you watched the vibrant color fill the transparent glass.

“Did he miss me?” He asked you, making you look up at him. He was staring at you with eyes softer than before. There was a hint of tiredness behind it but the glimmer of affection is what made you sigh. “He?” You raised your eyebrow after swallowing, giving him a small smirk as you stood up to grab the glass in front of him. “What makes you so sure that it’s a he?” You sat back down, rubbing your stomach as you gave a small smile. Thinking about it now, you’re excited to find out if the baby is a boy or a girl.

“I just feel it.” He shook his head, holding back his smile. “What if we get twins?” You looked down, voicing out your thoughts as you got lost in your head, thinking about how you’ll buy little clothes and shoes for your little one and how you’ll paint a room and decorate it. In the corner of your eye, you could see Satoru pulling out the chair beside you. You looked at him to see him leaning his head on his hand, watching you in awe.

“That sounds nice.” He breathed out, feeling lightheaded because of the growing intensity of his feelings for you. Just when he thought that it couldn’t get any stronger, you showed him that there’s always more of you to love. Satoru prayed in his mind, talking to the heavens above that one day he could call you his again.

“We should think of a nickname, you know?” His hand slowly reached out, caressing your stomach as you put down your utensils. His hand is warm and it almost made you forget all the events and thoughts that you experienced earlier. There was comfort in his touch as you turned to your side to give him more access.

Satoru knelt down in front of you, placing both of his large hands on your tummy. He looked up at you, watching your eyes for a moment before scooting closer until he was in between your thighs. He let out a long sigh before pressing his forehead on your stomach.

“Mama and Dada will be fine.” He whispered quietly and you almost didn’t catch it. He sounds so vulnerable, so miserable. He’s always sounded like that but this time there was more pain lacing his voice. He kissed your stomach, letting his lips rest there for a couple of seconds before completely wrapping his arms around your waist, pressing the side of his face against you. He was like a child, looking for solace.

And so you reached your hand to his hair, running your fingers through it as you feel him pull you closer. You let your hand run down the back of his neck to his shoulders and back. He looked up at you with glassy eyes. You almost got worried when he suddenly gave you a small smile. Was he so happy that he started to tear up? You thought, feeling the warmth spread on your chest.

Without noticing, your hands gently moved from his shoulder blades to his face, cupping his cheeks as your traced his jaw. His eyes closed, leaning into your touch, holding your hand in place as he savored the feeling. When was the last time that you were this affectionate with him? He missed it so much that he almost felt like crying again.

All his questions and sentiments from earlier are now gone and replaced by the longing feeling in his chest. It has been so long that he almost forgot how good it felt to be held in your arms. This is what he’s been craving all this time. Before he ruined everything, this was how you touched him. He settled for someone else’s touch, having forgotten how loved he feels with you.

If you give up on getting what feels right for you, you’ll end up having to make do with what is available to you.

Realizing all of this now made Satoru think that he has had that “It’s not really what I want but it works.” moment in his life with Rie. “Can I sleep here tonight?” He asked you, enveloping your hand in his. They were cold and you wouldn’t miss the slight tremble in his flesh. You don’t exactly know what happened but you got an idea of what he talked about with Suguru while drinking. You let your teeth dig in the skin of your lips as you bit it. Guilt and shame crawling up your throat. You feel bad about it, even more now that you can almost feel Satoru’s body begging to stay near you.

“I’ll just sleep on the couch. Please.” Satoru needs it. He needs to know that you’re with him. Even if not with your whole heart, Satoru needs to know that he’s not as helpless as he really feels when it comes to you. He needs to know that there’s still a little bit of hope that he could cling to.

“It’s fine.” You murmured, letting him kiss your knuckles as he whispered ‘thank you’s’ on them. “Are you hungry? I’m sorry, I’ll let Mama eat now. ” He spoke to your stomach again, making you laugh a little. You wanted to snap at him when he showed up at your door unannounced but all of that is gone now.

He stood up and sat on the chair letting you eat in comfortable silence as he softly spoke of his plans for your baby. It’s like he’s had it all thought out and listed. Even when you were still dating, you didn’t think that he’d be this excited. It made you wonder if everything could’ve been prevented had your pregnancy happened earlier in your relationship.

On the other hand, it made you scared; not for yourself but for your child. If you had your baby earlier and those events still happened, you wouldn’t know what to do. Would Satoru do that if he already had a kid with you? It made your guts churn as the stinging throb in your chest made it harder for you to swallow.

Time flew by, faster than it usually does. Maybe it’s because of Satoru’s head on your chest as his hand caressed your lower stomach, whispering gently to the growing life inside you. You didn’t have it in you to deny him or push him off. Not when you can hear all his pain in his voice. You know that your mother’s statements about your relationship with Satoru isn’t entirely impossible but you’re giving it your all not to spiral down again for the sake of your child.

When the morning came, you woke up to the smell coming from your kitchen. The sky looks kind as the rising sun shone a gentle light on your windows. You rubbed your eyes, wondering why Satoru’s up so early. You can’t even remember how you fell asleep last night. The last thing you remember was the warm touch of lips against your forehead, paired with the light touch of his hand on your tummy.

You were about to get up and wash your face when the door to your bedroom opened slowly. The creaking sound halted your movements as Satoru peeked in, smiling before letting himself in when he saw you awake. “I was going to ask you if you feel like having your breakfast here. I know you were not a fan of breakfasts in bed.” He chuckled, closing the door carefully before walking to you.

“Still not a fan of it.” You laughed as you stood up, stretching. Satoru pushed your hair back, away from your face. You sighed as you closed your eyes, your eyelids still heavy from your slumber. You heard Satoru chuckle, pulling you to him and letting you rest your head on his chest. It felt like all tthe tension from the other was just leaving your body today. You mentally thanked yourself for letting Satoru sleep over. The way his palm rubbed up and down your back soothed you. “Let’s go eat. This little bean is hungry.” You ushered, pulling him out of the room.

You spent your breakfast taking small glances at Satoru, occasionally catching him staring lovingly at you, something he never bothered to hide or deny whenever you ask him why. There was more than enough food for two people but you didn’t mind, given the increase in your appetite.

“Just leave the plates on the table. I’ll be washing them.” He spoke to you as he poured more milk in your glass. You hummed, thanking him as he passed it to you. Satoru changed a lot ever since he found out about your pregnancy. When he’s working, he texts you ever hour just to ask if you need anything. You remember how annoyed you were during the first few weeks. You still get annoyed sometimes but not right now when he’s literally serving you like a queen.

“You’ve been doing so much already. This is my house.” You spoke to him, setting down the half empty glass of milk in front of you. Satoru’s back is facing you as he washed the plates. His arms was on full display in his tank tops and you can’t help but notice how his muscles flexed everytime he moved. You took a deep breath, reminded yourself that it’s just because of pregnancy hormones and picked up your phone to distract yourself before he could he even glance back at you to answer.

“And that is my child. I’m not letting you do anything if I could do it for you.” His answer made you laugh. He wiped his hand as he completely turned to you, watching you throw your head back. Satoru wished that it would always be like this. He doesn’t care if you won’t give him answers to his questions, he just want you to be this happy even when he’s around.

“You got a point.” You drank the rest of the milk in your glass as he pulled the chair in front of you. “Let me get you a new place.” He spoke suddenly, making you look up from your phone. “It has to be more spacious than this one so the child can run around or play.” Satoru wanted to offer to buy a home for the three of you, but he doesn’t know how you’d react to that, considering that you only want him around for the baby.

“I can get one. I have savings.” You heard him sigh softly, pursing his lips as he shook his head. “I can’t let you do that.” Satoru got used to picking the words when talking to you. He understands that you’re very sensitive nowadays and he knows that he can’t afford to have you lashing out and locking him out of your apartment again.

“Why not? It’s fine by me. I’ll be living there too.” You tried to reason, surprisingly calmer than how Satoru thought you’d be. “You won’t let me sleep over?” Satoru tried lifting the mood a bit, the small smile in his lips caused you to smile too. “No. What if you bring your girlfriend? I don’t want her near my child.” You narrowed your eyes playfully at him and now, it’s his turn to laugh at your little drama.

“Who said I’m getting a girlfriend?” He threw his head back like you just said the funniest joke on Earth. “It’s not impossible!” You defended yourself, letting a small frown take over your features as he leaned forward to watch your face before speaking again, “I’m determined about trying to make it work with you. I won’t get a girlfriend, Y/N.” There was a tone of assurance in his voice and for some reason it calmed you down.

“There’s no guarantee to that. What if someone comes along? There’s no way to stop yourself from falling for someone.” You talked more seriously to him, leaning back on your chair and thinking about how it would be if Satoru were to have someone in his life. You don’t like it. You don’t like how the thoughts are making you feel. Maybe it’s because you don’t want your child having to fight for his attention or maybe it’s because you don’t like the idea of your child spending time with Satoru’s new girlfriend instead of you.

What if your child becomes closer to them than you? There was an image of them walking away from you in your head and it felt like someone was squeezing your heart. You thought about how his new girlfriend could make your child feel like they were his whole, real and happy family. Then your child would probably feel like it’s better to be with them than alone with you and you don’t know if you could take that.

“Hey. I know what you’re thinking, it’s not going to happen.” Satoru’s hand felt warm against yours but you couldn’t help but snatch it away, furrowing your brows at him, truly annoyed this time. “I don’t care if it does, but my baby is mine.” You clenched your teeth before leaving the kitchen and slamming your bedroom door.

Satoru just sighed, finally used to how fast your mood can change. You’d probably come out later when you’re hungry and if you don’t Satoru’s already ready to prepare whatever your cravings to lure you out. A couple of minutes later, his phone started to ring and he was grateful that it was only Shoko. He doesn’t know how he’d talk to Suguru again after what happened.

“How’s Y/N?” Shoko immediately spoke when he answered, “I know about what happened yesterday. It’s not the best season to ask Y/N.” She quickly added and Satoru nodded like she could see him before answering, “I didn’t tell her, I won’t. Don’t worry about that. And she’s fine. She just walked out on me while we were having a conversation, probably thought herself into a bad mood again.”

“Thought herself into a bad mood? You just said that you were having a conversation. It must be something you said.” There was a hint of protectiveness in Shoko’s tone and Satoru bit his lip and closed his eyes. “We were talking about the possibility of me getting a girlfriend and I tried to assure her that I wouldn’t because I’m still hoping to work things out with her. Then, she probably thought about all the ways that it could affect the child and got angry.” He explained with a heavy sigh and a scratch on his head.

“That’s valid, though.” Shoko spoke from the other end and Satoru hummed, “Yeah, I understand. I just gotta think about how to put her mind at rest about those kinds of things.” He  stood up to put away and wash the glass that you left on the table. After that, Satoru could only hum and agree to all the things that Shoko was advising him, knowing that it’s all for your good.

“I’ll drop by her apartment some time. My schedule’s kinda getting better. Tell her I said hi.” Shoko said before saying goodbye. Satoru could almost see her with a cigarette hanging between her lips from the way she sounded.

Satoru bit his upper lip as he leaned on the kitchen counter. He’s been thinking about going back to your mother’s office to apologize for all that has happened until now. He wants to let them know that he’s sure and resolute about getting you back again. He knows that your parents don’t trust him, but he’s determined to change that; not only through his words but also his actions. He wants to do all that he can just to prove it to you and to them.

_______________________________________

Two Weeks Later

“How many meetings do I have left for today?” Your mother asked her assistant as she struts out of the business partner’s building, completely ignoring all the greetings and bows that she was getting as she fixed her earring. “Three meetings, ma’am. I already moved the two from tomorrow afternoon to today, and the overseas meeting is the only one left for tomorrow.” The girl beside her spoke, making her nod as they walked past the glass doors to the car waiting for them.

“Good. It’s because I doubt we’d get back in time if the first one’s an overseas flight. The traffic sucks.” Your mother uttered as her secretary closed the car door. She has been worried about you ever since that day in her office. Her husband’s words only made her think about it more. She knows that she was harsh to you, but she’d never forgive herself if something happened to you or your child.

Your mother doesn’t like showing you how she really feels whenever you get yourself in trouble. She’d rather have you thinking that you have to pull your own tail if you mess up than thinking that you got someone to cover up for the mistakes that you make. You’re already independent, now she can see that you’re also trying to be responsible for your actions.

She was about to get her phone and send you a text just as the car started to move, but only a few shops away from the building that they just came out of, a familiar white hair caught her attention. “Slow down for a bit.” She commanded the driver who instantly obeyed, watching from the rearview mirror as your mother tried to get a clear view of the outside.

It’s Satoru, in front of an establishment, appearing to be waiting for someone as he typed away on his phone. Is he meeting with you? Friends? Maybe business matters. Your mother thought, leaning back, contemplating if she should tell her driver to keep moving or step out for a bit just to greet him. And of course, to ask about her daughter too. Your mother has already decided about greeting him when a girl rushed to Satoru, grabbing his arm as she stood close to him. Too close for comfort. Yet, he doesn’t seem fazed.

Your mother’s eyes narrowed at the sight. It was the girl that you went after in her office, the errand girl. She knew that she’s not just an interesting woman to you. And she’s definitely not just an acquaintance of Satoru. Not by the way he pulled her away from plain sight to a more hidden spot in between the buildings.

“Move the car forward a bit. Don’t let those two spot us.” Your mother spoke sternly to the driver, not taking his eyes away from Satoru who  is now facing the woman again. It made your mother’s blood boil. Even with his back turned to your mother, she could see how the tip of the woman’s shoe is almost touching his and her hands still gripping his arm. Now, that is not how close you stand to your acquaintances.

She tried to search for her phone in her bag but she couldn’t afford to take her eyes away from the enraging scene in front of her. “Hey, you.” She hurriedly tapped her assistant’s shoulder multiple times, “Film it.” She ordered as she gave a bit of space for her. The girl quickly pulled out her phone and did her best to get a clear shot of the two.

There’s no way in hell that I’d let you fool my daughter again.

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[loveforsatoru]

Our Blue Spring- Satoru Gojo x Fem Reader (Chapter 8: Familiarity)

sorry I haven’t updated this fic in a while!

-

The train comes to a stop, everyone else making their way out while Satoru gently wakes you from your slumber. He feels bad. He could tell from the moment he saw your face that you were tired and probably didn't get much sleep. You always have a certain look whenever you’re tired. He remembers.

“Y/n,” He whispers, poking your cheek.

You swat his hand away, “five more minutes,” you mumble, stirring around on his lap.

“But we’re already here. Lets go, you can sleep when we get to my place,”

You pull yourself off him against your will, shivering at the loss of warmth. Your clothes are still wet from the rain.

He helps you off the train and you begin walking side by side in the dark. There’s barely anybody else out at this hour besides the few people who were on the train with you. It’s so cold out that you can see your own breath fog the air.

You flick your gaze up to Satoru who has his attention on the path ahead of him, but he can feel you staring at him. A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips.

“What? Is there something on my face?” He chuckles, now looking down at you.

You turn your head away, dragging your hands up and down your arms in an attempt to warm yourself up, “No, it’s nothing. You just look different is all.” And you’re right. He’s somehow taller, an undercut, and his arms look like they’re about to rip the fabric of his clothes.

He nods his head in amusement, “Good or bad different?”

You pause for a moment before answering, “Good… really good.”

He didn’t expect you to say it outright, he thought he’d have to tease you a little more to coax the answer out of you, “You too.”

You continue walking the last mile in silence, air a little thick with the need to ask more questions, and find out everything about each other that you’ve missed over the last 7 years, but nevertheless, it’s comforting. You doubt you could feel uncomfortable with Satoru.

As he turns a corner, you follow closely behind him, recognizing the familiar path.

“Wait, I thought we were going to your place?” You ask.

“We are.”

“So why are we walking towards-”

Oh.

You cut yourself off when it clicks in your head and barely a second after, you’re face to face with the apartment you once both lived it. You naturally assumed he would’ve moved out of this place not long after you broke up.

You stop to just take it all in and reminisce over your old home.

Satoru is already unlocking the door, but halts his movement. He’ll let you take your time.

But it isn’t until you feel tears pooling in your eyes that you scurry over to him, “Sorry, we can go inside,” you sniffle through the tightness in your chest. You feel that if you stand there any longer, you’ll cry for a second time tonight.

He pulls the door open and you both walk up the stairs as they creak beneath your feet.

He walks ahead and unlocks the door with the number 21 on it. The same exact one from all those years ago. Part of you was hoping he would’ve at least switched so you wouldn’t have to relive the memories of the life you regret leaving behind, but the other is filled with a sense of love knowing he cherished everything about you and the relationship you once shared.

He leads you inside and it seems you just teleported into the past. Absolutely nothing has changed. The pictures on the wall, the pillows on the couch, even the old coffee maker which more than likely doesn’t work anymore is still in its designated spot in the corner of the kitchen counter just how you used to like it.

Satoru takes your jacket off and hangs it with his on the coat rack, “You can take a shower if you’d like. Towels are in our-“ He stops himself before continuing, but you both know what he was going to, wanted to say, “My bedroom. I’ll make us something to eat in the meantime.”

You nod, afraid of what you’ll see when you walk into the room where you spent hours holding each other, making love, or just talking about your days. You wish you knew how his days have been. At times, you found yourself wanting to send him a text to check up on him, but you figured it was best to stay silent. Not everyone would be excited to hear from their ex who left them heartbroken without explanation. But if only you knew it was the one thing he’d kill for.

Your steps seem to have grown slower until you reach the entrance leading to the bedroom. Again, nothing changed, but when your eyes fall onto the bed, seeing the one side that’s messed up from sleeping in it while the other has remained seemingly untouched for years (because it has), you can’t help but cry.

You turn around to the mirror that’s propped against the wall, never drilled in because it’s Satoru’s way of keeping yet another memory alive.

Flashback:

You guys had just gotten your first apartment together. It was small, but cozy and that’s what mattered. You’re currently at the store debating on which mirror to get for your shared bedroom. Everything else was already set and ready to go, but for some reason, a mirror had to break that streak.

“Satoru, we are not getting that one! It makes me look distorted!” You whine. You’ve been at this for 20 minutes.

He, on the other hand, finds your whining cute, “But it’s like one of those optical illusion mirrors at carnivals! It’s funny!”

He’s acting like a little kid in the middle of the store, making funny faces and watching his messed up reflection in the mirror. Of course, he would ultimately pick the one you want which was a pricey, but nice full body one. He just wanted to tease you a while longer.

But that would have to wait until another day because you’re already pushing the cart one aisle down, fed up with his behavior.

He chases after you, enveloping you in a tight hug, “I’m sorryyy! You know I would always get you whatever you want. But you should also know that I find enjoyment in teasing my pretty girlfriend.”

…

Despite settling your first dilemma on which mirror to get, a new problem arose. Where would it even go? You have a problem with overbuying, and Satoru has a problem with being unable to say no to you. Which is exactly why you’re standing like idiots in the middle of your bedroom that’s filled with furniture and decor, leaving barely any space for your mirror.

You probably spent two hours rearranging stuff, and moving things into the living room before ultimately settling on just leaning it up against the wall. Satoru had suggested drilling it to the ceiling so you guys can watch while you have sex, but all it got him was a smack on the back of the head.

End Flashback:

You rub your nose and tear filled eyes feeling the diamond of your wedding ring against your face, bringing you back to the reality that you can’t have this again. No matter how bad you want it, it’ll always be out of your reach and you have nobody to blame but yourself.

[brickd-up]

Men who dirty talk>>>>>>>>> I just love a man who’s talkative in bed. “That’s it pretty”😫😫them moaning and groaning while they manhandle you and talk you through it. They grab your chin just to smile while letting out a little groan your lips puckering from his squeeze of his fingers on either side of your cheeks. Them being so mean, gripping your ass then giving it a harsh spank to smooth over the flesh. Their big hands leaving handprints from them slapping your ass so many times. They couldn’t help themselves. Place their hands right on your throat to press a light squeeze. 😫😫😫😫ughhhhhh

[daisydoesfanfics]

Y/N: Is it your mission to make my life miserable?

Gojo: ..........

Gojo: Yes :D

[callmebuttfatt]

Have you no idea that you're in deep? I dreamt about you nearly every night this week..

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

My visualization of what happened in  @tojikai ‘s Permanent Mark (Chapter 4)

(Prt. I . II . III . IV)

That’s it for chapter 4. Thank you so much to every one who appreciated my shit. They weren’t perfect but I tried. Special thanks to Tojikai bc they are amazing!

Now, was the song describing Suguru’s feelings or Satoru’s? Guess we’ll have to find out.