#gonna talk about gun violence and stuff fair warning

[familyvideostevie]

living high until that fatal day

a/n: i never do this. literally, never. when i'm not here i'm writing stuff that's not x reader for ao3 and this is a fic i posted over there. it's a time loop story about joel and ellie. @bageldaddy told me i had to post it here. without her this fic would not exist. thank you so much, bea. so, here we go. if you read it, thank you. let me know what you think. joel miller & ellie williams gen fic. 7.5k words warnings: Time Loop, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, kind of???, it resolves, Suicide, only in one of the loops!, Canon-Typical Violence, joel gets stuck and has to figure it out, Father-Daughter Relationship, thoughts about sacrifice and love, POV Joel, mostly, this one is kind of intense folks, major character death tag is cause well the loop ends one way or another, gonna diverge at the end, but it ends well!!! i promise, also this is pretty firmly game but hbo folks should be okay!

summary: joel finds himself stuck in a time loop of that day in salt lake city.

Joel lies to her. 

He's got dried blood under his fingernails and his shoulder aches from the kick of the rifle and he's so, so tired. 

But he lies to her. 

If he was a smarter man he'd have thought of something better. Told her that the hospital got raided or they had a FEDRA mole, how the whole thing was a sham from the start. He doesn't know if she was awake for any of it. If the last thing she remembers is him reaching for her and failing to save her. If she remembers what it feels like to drown. 

It's hard to look at her in the mirror but he manages. Just keep driving, hands tight on the wheel. Don't white knuckle, don't spook her. She's in the car. She's safe. He did it. 

"We found the Fireflies," he says. She doesn't look at him. "Turns out there's a...a whole lot more like you, Ellie. People that're immune. It's dozens, actually." 

There's a strange pull in his gut, a pull that he's felt a few times before in the moments before everything went south. When the soldier pointed his gun by the river, when Tess looked at him on her last day, when he fell off the ledge in Colorado. But he ignores it. 

"Ain't done a damn bit of good, either. They've actually st--" Ellie closes her eyes, takes a deep breath. She doesn't look at him. "They've stopped looking for a cure. I'm takin' us home. I'm sorry."

She turns her back to him and the pull becomes a burn, becomes a black hole under his ribcage taking everything with him. He blinks once, twice, wonders if he got shot and didn't notice, if he cracked a rib and it punctured his lung, if --

The road in front of him disappears. 

He can't see a damn thing -- not like the lights went out, like there is nothing to see. There is nothing in front of him at all.

Then, Joel wakes up yesterday. 

___ 

He jolts awake with a strangled yell. Ellie kneels over him, the rifle he taught her to hold slung over her shoulder. It's just past dawn based on the color of the sky and how he can make out most of her face, her withdrawing hand and her unimpressed but slightly concerned frown. 

"You were talking again," Ellie says. "Nightmares?" 

Joel tears his eyes from her and thunks his head back down on his crumpled up jacket. The trees stretch high above him and he tries to get it together so he doesn't spook her. 

They’re camped within sight of the highway. Salt Lake City has been looming for days now and Joel doesn't want to take any chances. The ring-road is almost clear, dotted here and there with cars and a fair amount of supplies, enough that Joel suspects people haven't been here for some time. If this is another Colorado State situation, he's going to have to put Ellie in a car and take them back to Jackson before she does something stupid.

She's fine. Well, no, not quite. Things aren't the same and they never will be but he can tell she's doing her best and he won't ask more than that. Their pace has slowed this week and he's having a hard time figuring out if she's sliding back into some sort of post-Colorado haze or if she's nervous about actually arriving in Salt Lake. 

God knows he's nervous as hell.

But every day she'll walk as far as he tells her to and won't complain. He knows she wants to get there. They have to get there and it has to work -- because he doesn't know what they're going to do otherwise. 

She asked him a question. Nightmares. Joel sits up and drags his hand down his face.

"Somethin' like that."

Ellie shrugs and starts to clean up their camp now that he's awake. He still hates letting her take watch, but she needs to feel in control of things, so they split it most nights. She hums a little bit as she works and he has hopes that today might be a good day.

But that dream... It comes back in flashes: the giraffes, the tunnel. Ellie hanging from the side of the bus because she jumped to save him, her small frame sinking slowly, just out of reach. The crack of her ribs underneath his hands. The hospital. The Fireflies.

Joel gets up, rolls his shoulder at a phantom pain and looks down at his hands. Crusted with dirt and nothing more. 

Jesus Christ. He's losing it. 

They set off. 

The blue hospital sign seems to shine in the spring sun all too soon.

"This is where we get off. Let's go, kiddo."

Joel talks even though he knows she's not listening. He talks to take his mind off of the echo that sits at the base of his neck with every step. Has he told her he'll teach her guitar before? He's been thinking it for months. 

Ellie trails behind him, kicking rocks and half-heartedly searching cars when he asks her to. She heads for a faded blue sedan but he stops her. 

"Blue one won't open, don't bother." 

The look she gives him makes him think about what he just said. "How do you know that?"

He blinks. How does he know that? Before he can explain it, Ellie shrugs and keeps walking. 

The disinterest is new and it doesn't sit well with him. She's been through a lot, more than any kid deserves, and they're almost there. He figures it's worse today because of that. 

"I dreamt about flying the other night."

Joel's stomach twists. "Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Go on, tell me about it."

She tells him about her dream, about how it felt to fly and then fall, and he is dizzy with deja vu. 

"I've never been on a plane." Ellie looks at him like he can tell her what it means. Like he has any damn answers at all. "Isn't that weird?"

Joel hums and swallows the lump in his throat. The bus terminal. Ellie, drowning. Firefly after Firefly in his path. His hands flex around a gun that isn't there. 

"Well, you know. Dreams are weird." It tastes like a lie in his mouth but he can't figure out why. 

It gets worse when they find the bus station, when she runs off in search of something that's got her smiling. Her small hand reaches for the giraffe, her eyes bright, but Joel feels like he's watching it through a fog. He knows what she's going to say before she says it. 

"So fucking cool."

Joel has seen a lot of weird shit in his life but whatever is happening here is leagues above the rest. It bumps up against something in his brain, like the answer is just out of reach but he can't fucking get there. Always a step behind when it counts. 

Ellie hands him a picture of his dead daughter and something in him comes dangerously close to snapping. Instead of gratitude or sorrow or anything that would make sense, he's terrified. 

He's fucking terrified because this happened. Which means he knows what comes next. 

But there's no time to worry about it. They pick their way through the tunnel, through the runners and the clickers and the fucking bloaters. The pressure on his neck gets heavier, gets almost unbearable. He's strung tighter than he's been in years, like the walls are closing in on him and there's a timer he can't see. 

When they get to the rapids, he waits for Ellie to get to the other side of the bus until he jumps on it but it dislodges. The dam in his head breaks and he yells, screams at her to run, to leave him, but she jumps on the bus anyway. 

She drowns.

Joel doesn't doubt that the Fireflies are coming -- he hears them --  but he doesn't take his eyes off of her, doesn't stop the chest compressions until he's knocked out.

The rest of it is a blur, his sense of reality already warped by his need to get to the operating room. To save her. 

Joel picks them off one by one, floor by floor, hardly taking note of how familiar it all feels. He doesn't even give the surgeon a chance to speak before he's dead, a bullet between the eyes. He knows they'll make it to the elevator. He kills Marlene. He drives them away.

He lies. 

He wakes up yesterday again.

___

It takes a few days before Joel purposely deviates from what he's thinking of as the script. His head feels like it weighs a thousand pounds when he wakes in the clearing, Ellie's eyes on him.

He thinks about it as they pack up camp. Can he get them out of here? Would that be allowed? The rules of this aren't clear to him but he figures it can't hurt to try. They could turn around right now and make it back to Jackson in a week or so. 

He watches Ellie carefully arrange her things in her bag, watches her stop to admire a butterfly in the branches above. He watches her and tries to see her alive and not pale on an operating table. 

"Ellie," he says. "I got a bad feelin' about this."

She loves to tell him he's overreacting but today she crosses her arms and sits back on her heels. "What do you mean?"

Her scream as she falls into the water. Her ribs cracking beneath his hands. The piercing alarm in the hospital, her body warm but limp in his arms.

"What if we waited?" She frowns but he keeps going. "Went back to Jackson, rested up. Took a break. Come back in a few months with a bit of a crew. Tommy'll give us some guys, hell, I bet he'll come with if you want --"

"No," Ellie says sharply. There's an edge to her voice he hasn't heard in a long time. "Joel, shut up."

"Ellie --"

She stands abruptly, takes a few steps back. "I said no."  The look on her face tells Joel he's already lost. "Are you -- are you fucking kidding me? You want to go back? Now?"

He sighs. "Just to rest up. We don't know what we're walking into --"

Ellie throws her hands around in disbelief. Her eyes look wet. Christ, he's made her cry again. He promised himself he wouldn't do that. 

"We don't know if they'll still be there."

"We don't know if they are there."

"And we won't find out if we fucking run away like cowards!"

Joel stands. "I don't want another Colorado State situation, Ellie --" Her face shutters. Mistake. 

"Don't bring up Colorado," she growls. "You don't know what that was like." 

Damn right he doesn't. He knows by now what happened but he'll never know how hard it was for her to survive when he was busy dying on that mattress. But he has to try something or they'll just end up here again tomorrow. Yesterday. Whatever. 

The idea of her suffering makes his hackles rise, makes his blood run cold

. 

"Can I finish a god damned sentence?" he snaps. Ellie is undeterred and snaps back.

"Not if it's going to be about leaving. We-- I -- we're not fucking leaving. Not after everything. We can't."

Joel sighs and drags a hand down his face. This girl. He's trying to save her and she can't see it. There's no way to make her see it and it's his fault. She should know by now that he'd do anything, anything, for her. He lost that battle a long time ago, probably longer ago than he'd like to admit. 

"I know," he tells her. "Just...if you want to give it all up, to go back, we can. We don't have to go through with this."

Ellie's eyes are blazing and her tone is disappointed. It cuts deep. "Yes we do. I thought you'd understand that, Joel."

He follows her this time as she stalks down the highway towards the hospital. No mention of six strings, no dreams about planes. They catch the giraffes but she doesn't stick around to watch them for as long. It's a different kind of loss to be without her smile, her laughter. Joel wishes he'd never opened his god damned mouth. 

"I'm sorry," he says. "For earlier." Ellie pauses on the stairs and half turns to look up at him. "I know it's important to you."

She sighs. "I know you mean well." Joel closes his eyes. He knows what comes next. "But there's no halfway with this. Once we're done, we'll go wherever you want, okay?"

He plays his part for the rest of the day, just to get it over with. 

___

Next time, Joel waits until they're watching the giraffes to try something different. 

"So," he says. "This everything you were hoping for?"

Ellie gives him her half-smile. "It's got its ups and downs, but...you can't deny that view, though."

He seizes his chance. "Wanna go down there?" 

She perks up. "Really? Do you think they'll let us get close?"

"They might. Let's try." 

They manage to backtrack a little bit and end up on the field. It smells like a zoo but Ellie is thrilled to be so close so they post up on the roof of a rusty FEDRA Jeep. Two of the giraffes end up eating out of the tree right above them. Ellie holds her breath. 

"They just...don't care, do they?" she whispers. "How long do you think they've been here?"

She leans into his side and cranes her neck to watch one of them use its tongue. 

"Don't know," he says. "Big ones could've been from before. But the tiny one s'probably younger than you."

"So cool," she says again. "They're from a zoo, right? I wonder if anything else lives in the city."

They've been sitting here long enough that the sun has started to set. Joel allows himself to hope. 

"Might be. What do you say we spend the night here and look on the way to the hospital tomorrow? Daylight'll do us better."

Ellie chews on his suggestion. "I guess," she says. "Are we safe here?"

"Should be." Joel has no idea, frankly. He sure as hell wants them to wake up here in the morning. He wants to make good on this idea, wants to show her something else that'll make her smile. He wants this to be a bizarre, unexplainable day that he'll forget about with time.

"I'll keep watch."

They set up camp crowded against the fence so Joel can see the whole field. The giraffes leave them alone and Ellie falls asleep quickly after they eat.

In the quiet open air the dread in his gut returns full-force and he knows he's wrong. Again.

A branch cracks and he whirls around, rifle in hand to find three men pointing their guns at him through the wire. They might be wearing Firefly jackets but he can't tell. He doesn't care. Joel dares to look at Ellie for a second and sees she's still asleep. 

It's a mistake.

One of them follows his gaze and his eyes widen.

"Holy shit," he whispers. "She looks like who Marlene said --"

"Shut up," the second one hisses. "On the ground, old man."

"How are you gonna get around that fence, hotshot?" he says. "Ellie. Ellie, wake up."

She blinks a few times and sees his stance. scrambling to her feet with her knife in hand.

"Holy shit. What the fuck?"

"Get behind me."

One of the soldiers points his gun at her. 

"Don't move."

It's chaos after that. The guys shout at each other. 

"Don't point it at her! Don't you remember the fucking briefing?"

"You hadn't even joined when we got here, you don't know. We've been looking for her for months --"

"If you shoot her we're all dead --"

Joel locks eyes with Ellie.

"When I say run, you run. Okay?" 

The fear in her eyes turns to determination. Brave girl, he thinks. I'm sorry. He waits for the idiot pointing at her to look away and takes a deep breath. What's one more day?

"Run!"

Joel doesn't check to see if she obeys before firing through the fence. The rifle is incredibly powerful at such a short range and where there was once a head there's only mist. Joel clears the chamber as fast as he can and gets the second one in the shoulder but he's not fast enough for a third and before he realizes it he's on his back in the grass. 

The Firefly's assault rifle litters Joel's chest with bullets but he doesn't feel it until he tries to take a breath and nothing comes. It's like he's underwater.

At least he didn't make her cry this time.

__

Joel isn't much of a believer in anything but he decides fairly quickly that he's in Hell or something close. God knows he deserves it. 

His sins are countless, his ledger dripping with red just like his hands. They will never be clean. What he can't figure out is how he got here. Did he die somewhere in St. Mary's? Is the real world somewhere else beyond his reach, now? If he died then what happened to Ellie?

He tries to make tallies in the bark of a tree on the edge of camp but they disappear every time he wakes up. He makes do with his own slowly unspooling brain. Two, five, ten.

Ellie is much the same every time but somewhere around day twenty she asks him about it. "How do you know where everything is?"

They're in the bus depot before the tunnel. He's taking them quickly around the tents, putting off Ellie handing him a photo of his dead daughter. It's muscle memory at this point. A pair of pliers here, some rags there. A half-empty but uncracked bottle of hooch behind that blood-stained bed, some bullets under that overturned partition. 

"Just payin' attention."

"I pay attention!"

Joel uses the excuse to grin at her. It's hard sometimes to remember that she has no idea what's coming, that he can and should be good to her every chance he gets. The violence has already started to blur together in his mind. Killing everyone in the hospital is by far the easiest part of this fucking loop. These parts are harder. 

"Didn't say you don't."

"I feel like that was a double negative."

She's still energized from the giraffes and he knows she's working up the courage to talk about Sarah, but right now he wants to spend time with her. He spots the Firefly medal tangled in the shattered floodlight and points it out. 

"Ellie," he says. She's at his side in seconds, looking up at him with eyes brighter than he's seen in weeks. "Wanna get that down?"

She gives him her classic why are you like this look. "Are you going to be weird and pick it up?"

Joel shrugs and leans on the rotting tank nearby. "Just want to check your aim."

"My aim is really fucking good and you know it!" Even so, she picks up a brick from her feet and palms it, eyeing the silver circle before winding her arm back and hurling the brick towards it. 

She misses. Maybe three hundred miles and a trail of dead bodies ago she'd have stormed off, embarrassed and pissed. But she just makes a face at the still-swinging medal and then looks at him. "How did I miss that?"

He pushes off the tank and scoops up a glass bottle. "Sun s'probably in your eyes." Joel stands next to her and eyes the target, trying to compensate in his mind for her height. "Stand here." Ellie moves over in front of him and he hovers his arm over her. "Can I?"

She nods. Joel presses the bottle into her hand and she takes it as he maneuvers her with a hand on her elbow until she's got the trajectory he thinks will work. 

"Now?" she asks. "Feels pretty fucking similar to what I was doing."

"Just trust me. Throw a little lighter than last time. And higher."

Ellie sighs, but once he steps back she does as he says and nails the medal hard enough that it drops to the ground. She whoops and turns around, hands high in the air and a wide smile on her face. Joel tries to breathe through how easily she puts her faith in him. 

"Fuck yeah! Did you see that?" She holds both hands out for a high five and he obliges. 

"Sure did. Nice job, kiddo."

When Ellie hands him the picture of Sarah, he pulls her in for a hug. He half expects her to shove him off but instead she allows it, twisting her hands in his shirt as he cups the back of her head. 

"Thank you," Joel says quietly, thickly. 

Later, when he finds her on the operating table, he presses his lips to her forehead for an extra moment before picking her up and heading for the elevator. 

__

He messes with the order of things a little bit. Tries to make their morning last longer, tries to stay watching the giraffes for an hour or so. 

Sometimes it works. 

Sometimes it doesn't. 

Watching Ellie drown over and over fucks with his head more than the hospital does because he can't stop it. At least while he's leaving behind corpse after corpse he knows that she's asleep upstairs, waiting for him. In the tunnel, he knows that the only way out is through, but she has to fucking drown first. 

He gets sloppy. 

He forgets about the runners in the side rooms when he ducks in to avoid a clicker and takes a step too close. Ellie is behind him as always and he shoves her back blindly as three runners slam him against the metal railing of the stairs before he can reach for his gun. He's too surprised to feel anything, but their breath smells like rotting meat and something worse, something that makes his eyes water. 

Joel searches the room for her and finds her -- pale-faced and terrified, already reaching for her knife. He tries to say her name but it comes out as a scream when one of the runners goes for his shoulder, jagged teeth ripping through his shirt in an instant. 

"Ellie -- run, Ellie -- GO --" He begs her to leave him but his voice stops working as his throat is ripped out. The last thing he sees is her horrified face as she raises her pistol.

And then he wakes up yesterday. 

___

It occurs to him on day 30 -- if he's keeping track accurately -- that he's got one of the smartest people he knows at his disposal. Kid's got an encyclopedic knowledge of space as well as science fiction stories. He asks her while they're still on the highway, stalling though he can see the blue H sign from here.

"Y'ever read stuff about time?" No reply. "Ellie?" She's staring at that deer again. "Ellie."

"What?" 

"You read any stories about time back in school?"

"Uh, sure," she says. She tugs her sleeves over her hands and catches up to him, eyes on the ground. "Why?"

"Saw a weird movie 'bout it once. Somethin' reminded me of it this mornin'. Guy gets stuck in a...shit, what did they call it?" Joel peeks inside an RV and smells rot so he leaves it be. "He lives the same day over and over."

"A time loop!" Ellie sounds more excited about this than anything they've talked about for days. "Those are so fucking cool. Scary, though. I feel like I'd go crazy."

Joel drags a hand down his face. "Yeah," he says. "How do you think you get outta one?"

"Well, how did the guy in the movie do it?"

"He stopped bein' an asshole," he says. Ellie laughs. 

"Well, we know that's not possible for you. Guess you're fucked."

"Guess so," he mutters. 

The H sign is close enough that she'll see it any minute. He wishes for the hundredth time that they could just stay out here all day, just talking. If he had a guitar he'd play for her. If he had a fucking car he'd put her in it and turn around, even though it wouldn't do any good. They'd just end up right back here because he can't fucking figure out how to get out of this. 

"I think you just have to change, right?" Ellie says. She's looking at the photo of an airplane on the bus. This time she doesn't tell him about her dream. Is he losing pieces of her, already? "I guess it doesn't have to be about yourself. Maybe something you do, or something you say. It's the universe telling you to make a different choice, right?"

That's the fucking thing. The choice isn't an option. It's not even a choice. 

The one thing he hasn't tried and will not try is leaving the hospital when Marlene tells him to. He'd rather die a thousand times, rather live this shit show over and over for the rest of eternity than let them cut her brain out. They will not touch her while there is still breath in his body. 

He'd do it all over again. He will.

__

Joel tries a hundred things and they don't work. 

After his conversation with Ellie he decides to really fuck with the day. Doesn't matter, right? So long as she's not put in any extra danger he considers it. He begs her to walk away, get on his knees and pleads with her throughout the day. Doesn't work. She just gets pissed at him like that first time and he doesn't push it because he can't bear to see her cry. He lengthens their morning in the clearing, fakes sick or says the rifle is jammed and needs cleaning. That goes south, too, when a pack of runners wanders through the woods and straight into them. They make it to the highway and have to miss the giraffes because they're running. 

One time Joel spends all day zig-zagging them around the city to avoid the tunnel. The Fireflies find them much the same way except they shoot him on sight and grab Ellie right out of his arms as he bleeds out on the cracked asphalt, her screams echoing in his ears. 

Another time, he ties them together in the tunnel with some fraying rope and they both drown. 

Killing Marlene early gets him a bullet in the head and not killing her at all gets him back where he started, no change. 

Joel even begs the doctor to run more tests first, to try blood, to try anything, but it takes too long and the alarm sounds and he's cornered in the operating room before he can grab Ellie and go. 

Nothing fucking works. 

But what is there left to change?

__

His mind starts to fray. He loses count of the loops and it becomes hard to detach himself from the slaughter. Not even the good moments -- Ellie's laughter, the awe in her face when she sees the giraffes, her jokes and her muted but still sharp sarcasm -- keep him afloat. He's lost, adrift in a sea of blood and bullets and it starts to eat away any humanity that was left in him. 

The blood of hundreds, thousands maybe, is on his hands and he feels nothing.

Once and only once does he get there too late. Everything else goes like it always does but maybe he took too long on the first floor, maybe he took too long picking the guys one by one instead of using the assault rifle, maybe maybe maybe. 

When Joel gets to the pediatric ward he knows something is different -- he can hear a buzzing sound, something loud and unnatural. The stale air is thick with something metallic, tinged with death. The buzzing stops and he finds his feet glued to the floor outside the operating room. Voices on the other side of it, murmuring and the clink of metal on a tray. Joel's hand shakes when he reaches for the knob because he knows whatever he finds on the other side is going to kill him. 

But he opens it because he has to. The doctor is at the sink this time, the nurses nowhere to be found. Ellie's body is covered in a sheet, blood seeping through the fabric. Joel looks away. He just stands there, his heartbeat loud in his ears as the world ends. 

The first time his daughter died, Joel thought he could will it not to be so. He held her as long as he could, whispered her name with her blood drying on his hands until Tommy begged him to get moving. 

This time, he knows it's true and he knows there's only one ending. 

He raises his gun at the doctor who is now leaning on the edge of the sink. The door swings open and the nurses return, eyes wide and vibrating with the energy of a job well done. He swings over to them and kills them both with quick headshots. The doctor has barely turned around when he's dead, too.

Joel breathes, ears ringing. He manages one step closer to the operating table but his knees buckle and he goes down hard on the cool tile. His vision is blurry. Is he crying?

"I'm sorry," he says. "I'm so fucking sorry, baby." He angles himself so he won't get any blood on her and then presses the barrel of his gun to his temple and pulls the trigger. 

__

If Joel was on the edge of losing his mind before, now he's laser focused. He doesn't pull any more shit. He settles back into the loop, savoring Ellie's laughter with the giraffe and gunning down every sorry motherfucker in his way at the hospital. He will not get there late ever again. 

So when Marlene says something different the next time around and he almost misses it.

Ellie is dead weight in his arms but she's warm and he can see the rise and fall of her chest. The hospital was messier than usual because he rushed this time, cutting down the Fireflies like it was his last stand. There's blood in his hair and crusted under his fingernails and his shirt is beyond ruined. 

"Are you going to tell her what happened here?" Marlene presses her hand into her side, blood leaking from around her crimson palm. "Are you going to tell her what you did?"

He lies to her.

Every time.

It's never occurred to him to try something else. Even though he's changed almost everything about this damn day except that. 

Because Joel knows what happens if he tells the truth. He knows what that will cost him.

And he doesn't know if he'll survive it.

He's afraid. Joel doesn't want to lose her and if that makes him selfish then so be it. He wants to take her back to Jackson and give her a bedroom of her own and as many stupid comics as she wants and three meals a day for the rest of her long, peaceful life. He wants her to grow up and grow old. 

He'd kill a thousand more Fireflies to make it happen.

He'd damn the whole world. 

Because he loves her and it fucking hurts. 

This girl and her puns and her comics and her god damned bravery and her bleeding heart. He doesn't want to lose her. 

But is this, whatever this endless hell is, is it fair to her? 

If it's breakable, if he has the ability to get them to tomorrow, to get them to Jackson, to get them home, shouldn't he? If he loves her shouldn't he give her a life even if he's not in it?

Joel gently arranges Ellie in the backseat and shoots Marlene in the head. 

__

For a few seconds Ellie thinks she's in the car on the way into Pittsburgh. The hum of the old engine, the rocking motion of the truck. But -- wait. She's lying down. The car smells...musty. And she's cold like she's wearing a dress and --

"What the hell am I wearing?"

She flutters her eyes open. Different truck. Backseat. Is she in a...hospital gown? What the fuck? Where is she?

"Just take it easy," Joel says. Okay, so she's with Joel. Something in her chest settles. She must be safe. "Drugs are still wearin' off."

Drugs? Ellie pushes back into her memory and tries to find something, anything that'll give her a clue as to what's going on here. They were in the bus tunnel. The water was rushing, Joel jumped on the bus and it started moving and she...fell into the water? 

It's a blur after that. More of a blank, really. Did they get to the hospital? Did they find the Fireflies? Based on her weird fucking outfit it sure seems like it.

"What happened?"

Joel's eyes flick up in the rearview mirror to look at her. "Let's get you into some clothes, first. Then we'll take a break and I'll tell you everythin'."

He sounds tired. More tired than he's ever sounded, frankly, but she can't imagine why. And he can't seem to stop looking at her like she's going to disappear. Like he hasn't seen her in ages. 

"Okay," she says slowly. "Where the hell are we going to get those?" 

"Your bag is on the floor by your feet." Joel veers off the highway down an exit ramp and Ellie sits up. Her head feels light for a second and then really heavy so she braces her hands on the seat in front of her and takes a few deep breaths. "You okay, kiddo?"

"Yeah. Fucking...drugs, I guess. What'd they do that for?"

"They ran some tests. We'll talk about it."

Normally she'd push him but something feels off. Ellie tries to get a good look at his face but she can't, not from this angle, and not with her head fucking pounding like it is. She's missing so much time. It makes her skin crawl, makes her heart race. Joel is here, she tells herself. He wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. 

He parks them at the edge of a cemetery and gets out of the car to stand guard while she changes out of the gown. Her last pair of jeans, apparently, and a grey t-shirt with a few holes in the collar. She wishes she had a sweatshirt or something to wrap around herself, to pull over her hands and feel covered. But beggars can't be choosers. At least someone put her shoes in her backpack. 

Joel doesn't turn around when she opens the door but she sees him stiffen. 

"I'm done." He looks back at her and she finally sees his face. "Jesus Christ, Joel, what happened to you?"

It's not just the blood. Sure, he's got dried streaks of it on his neck and in his hair. Ellie glances at his hands and sees it crusted under his fingernails, too. But he looks wrecked. Older, somehow. He looks like something terrible happened, the way she remembers his face when he fell from the balcony in Colorado, when he found her in the burning restaurant. But somehow it's worse. 

He's looking at her like he can't believe she's real. 

"Alright." Joel lowers the rifle and ignores her question, clearly. "Didn't see anythin'. Should be fine to sit here for a bit."

"Are you going to tell me what the fuck happened?"

He moves like he's going to drag a hand down his face but thinks better of it. "Yeah," he says. "I am." 

Ellie swings her legs so they're hanging out the door. Joel leans the rifle against the truck and crosses his arms. "You're making me kind of nervous, man."

"Just...promise me you'll hear me out to the end."

Yeah, something is going on. She doesn't like it. 

"Uh, sure."

"What do you remember?" 

Good fucking question. "The tunnel. The bus and -- water. I fell in, right?"

Joel nods, clears his throat. "Jumpin' on the bus was dumb. Don't do that again." 

She snorts. "Yeah, okay. Point taken. But I was afraid you were going to drown!"

"You did." He delivers the news in a flat tone she doesn't like. She drowned?

"Are you serious?"

"I got us out of the water and tried to get you breathin' again." Ellie realizes her chest is sore. She imagines Joel doing compressions like they showered her in school, imagines his panicked face, his hoarse voice calling her name. Fuck.

"Did it work?"

"No," he says. "Fireflies found us first and knocked me out." 

"That doesn't make sense." She frowns. "They knocked you out?"

Joel shrugs. "Just tellin' you what happened."

This isn't how she imagined it would go. She never told Joel, but for weeks she's been thinking about waltzing up to the hospital and telling them who she is. She pictured Joel telling her jokes while she got her blood drawn, pictured him staring down nurses and doctors while they made the cure. She figured it would take a few days, maybe a week, and then they'd be on their way back to Jackson. She had hoped Marlene might be there, too. She has so many questions about her mom. 

"What did they do with me?"

Joel looks troubled. "I...don't exactly know. It was a while before I saw you again."

It makes her skin crawl. He must be able to tell because he keeps talking. "I'm sure they just ran some tests while you were out. They brought you back, made sure you were breathin' okay."

"Tests?"

"I'm gettin' there." She feels like he's having a hard time looking at her. Something close to but not quiet dread sits heavy in her stomach. What happened?

"Joel..."

"I woke up inside the hospital. Marlene was there. Told me they didn't know it was us, that they'd been waiting." He pauses, drags a hand down his face. "You didn't wake up or nothin'? You sure?"

Ellie shakes her head. She doesn't remember anything after the tunnel. 

"Well, she told me they could do it. They had a doctor who could make the cure."

The air rushes out of Ellie all at once. "Are you fucking serious?"

"And then she said..." Joel chews on his words and looks away from her. He looks angry. 

"What did she say?"

"Makin' a vaccine...would've killed you."

The bottom drops out of Ellie's world. It's like a hundred doors in her brain open at once. 

It would have killed her? Are they sure? Did they do enough tests? Were they going to? Why didn't they wake her up? Were they going to ask her? How did they get out?

She swallows them all and manages just one in a broken whisper. "What did you do?"

Joel looks right at her. "I stopped them."

If Ellie wasn’t already sitting down she thinks her legs would give out. She knows that Joel meant what he said to her in Silver Lake. Knows that he'd do anything for her.

But this?

"What do you mean?" He shakes his head. "Joel. What do you mean, you stopped them?"

His shoulders slump. "They told me to leave and I refused. And I made sure no one can follow us to try again."

Static builds in her ears. She can read between the lines. She speaks Joel now. He killed them all, that much is clear to her. He killed them all, Marlene, too, probably, because she was supposed to die to save the world. Hot tears sting her nose and gather at the corner of her eyes. 

"But I -- but we -- I was supposed to...I'm the cure!"

"You're a person. You're a kid. Don't matter what's in your brain, you ain't dyin' for --"

Ellie pushes out of the truck and to her feet. Joel steps back to give her room but she knows he probably wants to touch her, to reassure her. The anger fills her, makes her face hot and her heart race. 

"Who said you get to make that choice? If they said I had to die maybe I should have? Then it would mean something --"

"Your immunity ain't the thing that matters most. You are. So I picked you," Joel yells.

She's really crying now, huge heaving sobs that make it hard to talk, make it hard to convey how angry she is. "Well, you picked wrong, asshole."

"I ain't gonna apologize for it. I'd do it all over again, the exact same way. Every time." Joel's expression is as serious as it gets. He used to look this way all the time. No nonsense, no room for argument. 

She tries to find the words anyway but they don't come.

"Now, you've got some options here," he says. "I think the best one is for us to go back to Jackson. I know Tommy'll take you in, and --

She laughs, or tries to. 

It sounds like something bitter and awful to her own ears. First he tells her she was supposed to die today and now he wants to leave her?

"Are you fucking serious, Joel? You want to leave me again?" 

Joel's brows pinch together. He looks pained. Good. It feels like her chest is caving in, like her lungs aren't working right anymore. This must be what it felt like to drown in the bus terminal, to sink slowly, to fade away entirely. She read once that drowning was supposed to be peaceful. This hurts. 

"I want you to be safe," he says. "Jackson is the best place for that. I don't have to be there if you don't want me there --"

"I didn't fucking say that!" she yells. "I -- Jesus, give me a fucking second, okay?"

He stands by the door as she paces back and forth, tugging her hands through her hair. 

She was supposed to die. But she didn't. There's no cure. And it sure fucking sounds like Joel didn't leave any option to try again. 

He traded saving the world for her. 

It's too much.

"What do you want, Ellie?" Joel sounds like he's been awake for days. Like he's in pain, like he's being hollowed out. He sounds like how she feels. 

She digs the heels of her hands into her eyes. 

"I want none of this to have happened! I want us to go back to this morning and I want us to not have gone into the bus tunnel and I want you to have asked for tests first, I want them to try something else. I want Marlene to tell me why they didn't wake me up. I want to do it again but differently, I want things to be different, I --"

Her words break off into a sob. "Ellie..." She opens her eyes and finds him reaching for her. His shirt is stained with dried blood but she steps into his hold and his arm wraps around her. 

"I don't know what to do, now," she whispers.

Joel exhales a shaky breath. "I know you wish things were different. I wish things were different. But they ain't."

They stand there, his hand dragging up and down her back. She listens to his heartbeat and remembers those nights in the basement when she thought it would stop any minute. 

"Fuck," she whispers, then pulls away. He lets her go. "Fuck, Joel."

He sighs. "Yeah, kiddo. Fuck."

He told her the truth and that means something. It hurts, it hurts so bad, and it doesn't absolve him of anything, but that matters. 

"I'm so angry with you," she says. "I don't know how to forgive you for...for...saving me." 

It sounds stupid as she says it but Joel nods solemnly. 

"That's alright." 

"But I..." She wants to get this part right. "Let's go back. To Jackson. We'll figure it out there. But you...you have to swear to tell me the truth. Just like this. We have to be honest with each other."

Joel meets her gaze without blinking. "I swear."

Ellie takes a deep breath. The anger, the horror, the disbelief at what he's done settle a little bit. She has no clue what comes next, but this is a start. 

"Okay."

__

Joel wakes up. 

His back hurts and his shoulder aches. It's dark, darker than it should be, darker than it's been for hundreds of days.

Ellie is asleep in the backseat of the truck. 

It's tomorrow. 

thank you for reading. let me know what you thought!

[thesuperiorgenshinaddict]

Hiya could I request Val x reader, where reader and angel become friends and val gets jealous of them spending time together. It can be NSFW if u want it to

AN: trying to think of a title but i can't think of shit LMFAO. gonna put the SFW stuff at the top and the N$FW at the bottom. also i can't really think of when val would be jealous of angel n you normally cuz i dont think he has thaaat much beef w/ angel so it can probably be taken as val having a wittle psychotic crushy wushy on reader and denying it in his head lolz

also halfway through writing this i just realized that you could've wanted a soft thing of valentino and reader talking it out and being like 'erm bro i got jealous...' and shit but like i went more of the canon route :3333 Pairing: Valentino x GN! Reader, (Platonic) Angel Dust x GN! Reader Warnings: Valentino typical shit, weaaaapoons ooo, Violence, Angel Dust slander, Valentino being an asshole, Degradation, SFW-ish HCs:

You and Angel Dust were Valentino's top stars. Made him the most cash and shit so he was slightly nicer to the both of you. Of course, that also meant you had to film more often.

So, imagine how fucking PISSED he was when you were not only late for filming, your ass also went to goof around with Angel. Mind you, he was already pissing and shitting himself after Angel skeddaddled to the Hazbitch Hotel.

The mere thought that he might lose another of his top stars to that shithole made him petulantly stomp his feet like a whiny bitch. He decided to be a nice, kind individual (he's delusional) and try to let you off with a warning. Honestly, said 'warning' was just him making you feel like shit and making himself seem nice and all that.

As much as he likes the amount of cash Angel Dust gets him, he gets irked every time he sees that slutty bitch's face. It was definitely hypocritical of him to say, but he considered Angel a 'bad influence'. He's just waiting for the day he catches you fucking around with those redemption hoes. Valentino's hands are just itching to grab his beloved gun and shoot the fucking hotel up. (lmao will I get flagged for that)

Thank god you weren't late for anything else for a long while. Valentino almost forgot how much he was raging until he spots Angel and you at a mall. A fucking mall. Great, and you're even giggling and kicking your feet with him. Valentino swears he has no actual interest in you, but that shit set him off. He screeches at Vox for like 3 hours until you pull up at the studio and he goes batshit.

He gives Angel the most ominous glare in the history of, idk, me and your mom's relationship and drags you to the dressing room. Seriously, why the fuck is he acting like this? Fucking hell. Why the fuck were you flirting with the horny spider shitbag? (Delusional Valentino real) To be fair, he'd be more pissed if you were trying to hit on some rando in the street, but Angel Dust is still a traitorous lying dick in his book. I forgot if that was a phrase or not. Or idiom, I don't fucking know.

Wow, that's a lot of fucks.

Now for the sussy HC's boom:

He's fucking your brains out. He probably won't stop until he physically sees marks of his hands and teeth everywhere. Doesn't bother to prep you with anything, just rawdogs it.

Has you bent over the makeup desk thing or whatever the fuck it's called and holding your face in one of his hands. Says the most condescending shit, but it just sounds embarrassingly insecure. Well, it would be funny if it wasn't for how he's one movement away from choking your lights out.

His claws dig into your back and he has one of your legs onto the table just to hit the angle that has you crying. All the while, his mouth is yapping away about how if you left him he would track you down and obliterate your asshole until you can't walk for the next week and a half.

Bonus points if he drags Angel in just to watch his expression while he makes you say stupid shit. Probably thinks he's being cool based off Angel Dust's upset face, but that's mainly because Angel's just feeling bad for you. Valentino's still having his headcanon that Angel and you are trying to hit it off.

Valentino's probably pushing the laws of physics with this because that's at least Mach 10 speed. It's a joke, I think. Running his fingers over your spine to watch you shiver, his pride is almost palpable.

Once he busted a nut, he walks off like nothing happens. Literally strutting away like he just invented the flying dildo or something. Oh god, this is making me think that he probably has. Christ.

Angel helps clean you up and the two of you can share a depressing laugh about how you're literally just homies. Valentino acts a lot more possessive afterwards and religiously stares Angel Dust down.

Good luck trying to leave the tower now, he's making sure he's constantly watching you.

Drabble woo (i'll make a ff of this soon i promise)

Valentino's eye twitches as he takes labored breaths. "You fucking slut." He growls out as he clenches and unclenches his fists. His wings are unraveled and he slams the dressing room door shut. Suddenly, his entire personality pulls a 180. His lower set of hands go to cup your face and he visibly relaxes. "Aw, baby," He coos. "Do I not give you enough attention? Is that why you're so desperate to whore around with Angel?" As if he's trying to coax an answer out of you, he runs his hand down your back in a comforting (?) motion. Apparently his attention span is really fucking low because he abruptly stands up and lifts you up by your neck. He fucking squeezes. Hard. "How the fuck am I not treating you well enough? Since you have so much time to fuck around and go burn my well earned cash with that lanky bitch, how about you tell me what you're not happy about?!" His nails dig into your skin and you can vaguely feel the blood slowly trickling down. Your heart is like it's beating out of your chest and holy shit, the adrenaline is going crazy.

AN: okay yeah so sry for sudden stop but ill probably write this as a fanfic thing later cuz rn i procrasinated this req for soo long like 5 whopping days bro oh my gyatt. im gonna work on my masterlist and whatever first and then ill get this done okie? okie thanks 4 understanding i hope this req was what you wanted otherwise feel free to ask for a remake w/ a diff vibe yk :p

[mychemikuromance]

...

[notyetjae]

Yooo hope your having a good day 😎, can I request a headcanon with the arcane gals with an s/o who's a bounty hunter? Thank you! And don't forget to drink water 💧💧

Arcane girls with a bounty hunter s/o

Includes: Jinx, Vi, Sevika x gn!reader

Warnings: Violence, readers a bounty hunter expect some death and torture, suggestive themes for Sevika's part

a/n: Had so much fun writing this, sorry it took a while, had some irl stuff ^-^

Jinx

Silco hired you occasionally for quick jobs, so you'd rarely spent time in office unless you were picking up your payment or getting details on a hit.

But after he permanently brought onto his team, you'd spend a few good hours listening to his boring plans and business rants, you're eyes wandered the room, eventually spotting a girl around your age laying on a support beam, shortly after that you become friends and then more than friends

She was completely captivated with your job, in her mind you were like some god-like ninja that got paid for blowing stuff up and killing people

When you pointed out that you had the same job as Sevika her jaw went slack and she let out a very dramatic gasp,

"No, no! But you're like cool!"

She always begged to go on jobs with you, claiming that her bombs would get it done way faster, you rarely let her come with you and if you did you had to shake her down for any explosives.

Once the two of you became closer and began staying at each other's houses, swapping clothes, sleeping in the same bed, typical couple stuff, Jinx would frequently steal your knife or gun holsters to decorate them, covering the dark stained leather in bright splotches of color and her signature.

If you have a rough day she tries her best to cheer you up, bringing you something new she's working on or stealing a bag of candy so you can snack on it while the two of you chat, she thought she wasn't the best at comforting people but her presence is comforting enough.

Vi

Vi has done her fair share of crimes, she knows what it's like on the streets, how dangerous and relentless people can be, she often worried about your safety, even though you weren't working under anyone she couldn't shake the thought of someone forcing you to kill

Nonetheless she always supported you, once a month she'd run a bath before you got home from work and made your favorite meal, it was something you looked forward to and gave you a reason to keep fighting

You trained together a ton, after you moved into an apartment together you turned the guest bedroom into a home gym.

Vi matched your skill level so training fight either went on for 30 minutes or ended in a bloody nose,

"You keep doin' that and I'm gonna turn into a masochist" "You ARE a masochist."

When it came to safer missions, like retrieving items or kidnapping people, you'd bring Vi along, mostly just so you could let blow off some steam by punching assholes in the face.

Sevika

wifey time

She was the one that suggested you'd join her profession, she knew your skills and how tired you were of staying home reading the same books over and over again

She kept her eye on you for the first few months, coincidentally she always managed to be on the same mission on you, she definitely told silco to hook her up

She knew how emotionally tolling the job could be on you, especially since you were new to it all, she's not the best at comforting people but she'll be by your side with her human arm over your shoulder, her presence more comforting than any words could ever be.

Sevika LOVES teaching you tips and tricks, at first it caught you off guard that she was talking casually about such morbid topics, but then you found yourself arguing about the quickest and cleanest way to kill someone.

"Jesus did you shove your hand in a blender?" "Nope, just punch hard." "You ever considered uh I dunno, a weapon?"

Similarly with Vi, Sevika will train with you all the time, it's never a fair fight with that arm of hers, and she TOTALLY doesn't deliberately pin you to the floor or a wall just to see you squirm and whimper.

Torturing people together <3

Knife collections for Christmas, patching each other up on new years day.

another a/n: finishing this at 8am in my country call that the daily grind 💀💀

[dreamwritesimagines]

Burn The Witch 24 - Post Break Up [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.

Summary: Break ups are never easy.

Series Masterlist

A real spy, a good spy didn’t get scared.

That was one of the most important things they had taught you back at the academy. Being scared got you killed, so you always had to look for weapons or something you could use to save yourself.

Save yourself, take the target down if you can, and if you can’t; get out of there as soon as possible.

For some reason, none of those options felt like they would work against the most feared assassin in the world. Bucky tilted his head, his gaze bored into yours and you stole a look at the counter from the corner of your eye to see what you could use against him.

“Oh come on, do we really have to do that?”

You grabbed the knife on the counter, flipping it in your hand.

“What kind of an assassin would I be if I didn’t fight back?”

He pulled his brows together.

“Fight back?” he asked but before he could say anything else, you had already lunged at him. He dodged the knife way too easily and grabbed to twist your arm, but you went under his arm and jumped to wrap your legs around his neck, using the momentum to make him lose his balance before you both fell to the ground.

“Brings back the memories,” you grunted and he got out of your tight grip quite easily to grab at you, but you had already jumped on your feet. You darted at him and he sent you back, your back hitting the wall hard. You fell on your knees and snatched the knife off the floor but as soon as you got on your feet again, he let out a breath.

“I’m not going to hurt you, okay?”

A hysterical laughter escaped from your lips, “You do realize that it’s not my first day, right?”

“Do you seriously think I’d hurt you?”

“I think if somebody crossed me the way I crossed you, I wouldn’t let them live.”

“Yeah well, good thing I’m not you.”

You frowned slightly, trying to catch your breath as you held the knife tighter.

“Then what the fuck is this?” you asked, “Closure?”

“Oh no I think we’ve had closure,” he said, anger dripping off his voice, “This is a transaction.”

You stared at him and he reached into his pocket to pull out a thumb drive.

Well.

Okay. It was clear that you had misread this situation.

You put the knife on the table and crossed your arms, leaning back, “What is that?”

“This is the information of everyone I hurt on my Winter Soldier days,” he said, “Dates, names, occupations…. Your father’s name isn’t on it.”

Your stomach did a painful flip, “I know,” you rasped out, “I… um- I found out after I left that night.”

“HYDRA doesn’t have anything on your father, as far as I’ve seen.”

You nodded slowly, “And you’re helping me why?”

“I’m not helping you,” he stated, “I just know how it feels to be manipulated into doing something. Everyone deserves answers, no matter how terrible people they are.”

Well, you deserved that and much more.

“I see,” you said, “Well, for what it’s worth, thank you.”

He eyed you up and down silently.

“Why did you try to get me out of the country?” he asked after a beat, “That night? Why did you try to help?”

You bit inside your cheek, commanding yourself to stay strong.

“Does it matter after this point?” you asked back and he let out a breath, shaking his head.

“I guess not,” he mumbled and walked to the window, making you take a step towards him.

“Can I—“ you spoke before he could jump out, making him turn around to look at you, “Can I ask you something?”

He shrugged his shoulders.

“Why would you not want revenge?” you asked, “It’s assassin 101. Why not come after me for all these months?”

Why didn’t you try to find me?

That was what you wanted to ask. As twisted as it was, you would’ve taken him coming after you over him forgetting about you.

Well, as it turned out, no one could say assassins were reasonable people when it came to romance.

“I’m not that person anymore,” he said, “And honestly? You’re not worth it.”

Ah. That.

You could swear your heart was cracking but you pursed your lips together, forcing yourself to look unaffected.

“Fair enough,” you rasped out and took a deep breath. “Goodbye Bucky.”

He swallowed thickly, his gaze fixed on you.

“Goodbye Shrike,” he murmured and jumped out of the window, leaving you all alone, standing there in the middle of your apartment. You blinked back the tears, then ran a hand over your face.

“Get your shit together,” you murmured to yourself, then grabbed the wine glass to down it.

                                             *

The next day you were so busy with the HYDRA files Bucky had given you that you barely noticed Keith pulling a seat to plop down beside you.

“Hi there.”

“Hey,” you said without pulling your gaze off the screen as Keith put a cup of coffee on the table. “Thanks man.”

“No problem. What’re you working on?”

“Oh just some old files.”

“Old files? Where did you get them?”

“Bucky gave them to me last night.”

Keith sputtered out his coffee, causing you to make a face and grab the napkins to wipe the screen.

“Is this your first time they let you out into the real world or something?” you asked him, “Like, what is this? Were you raised in a barn? I don’t want your fucking germs—“

“Screw you. You met Barnes last night?” he lowered his voice, looking around and you shrugged.

“Met is the wrong word.”

“Y/N, what the fuck?”

“It’s not like I texted him to meet!” you whispered, “He just showed up!”

“Okay, we need to give you some protection—“

“No, and you’re not telling anyone.”

“You’re not safe!” he whispered and you shook her head.

“He’s not gonna hurt me.”

“Y/N-“

“He’s not,” you cut him off, “If he wanted me dead, I’d be dead. I talk big talk, but trust me if he came after me, I wouldn’t stand a chance. I actually saw that last night.”

“Why was he there?”

“To give me this thumb drive,” you said, “I’m just going through this HYDRA stuff to see whether they had something on my father, whether— I don’t know, whether I missed something on our files.”

“We checked everything we had on HYDRA.”

“I’m just making sure.”

“What did he say?”

“Hm?”

“What did you talk about last night, when he showed up?”

“You know, typical break up stuff,” you murmured before peeling your eyes off the screen. “He broke into my apartment, gave me a thumb drive with top secret information and oh—before I forget, he said I wasn’t worth going after.”

He blinked a couple of times, staring at you.

“I’m sorry?”

“So much for civil exes huh?”

“More like evil exes,” he commented, “You know he’s being a jerk to you because you tore his heart out, right?”

“I can’t really blame him,” you muttered, “He’s right to be upset.”

“But are you okay?”

You scoffed a laugh, “I betrayed the one person who I could see a future with,” you admitted, “And six months apparently wasn’t enough to get over him. So no, Keith, I’m really not okay.”

He pressed his lips together.

“What if we got you out there? You know, maybe you can’t get over someone without getting under someone.”

“I’ve had sex in the last six months, that’s not working.”

“Barnes hasn’t.”

That was enough to make you turn your head, your whole attention on him.

“What?”

“We’ve um… we’ve kept an eye on Barnes and Wilson, you know, what they have been doing. Barnes isn’t even meeting people.”

“Maybe he is and you don’t know.”

“Nope,” he said, “He and Captain America have been going on their own missions, but since Accords 2.0 didn’t pass, we can’t touch them.”

You tilted your head, “Hold on, what missions?”

A big grin pulled at Keith’s lips.

“Y/N, are you asking me to share classified information with you?”

You arched a brow and eyed you up and down, then steered your office chair a little to the left.

“I’m glad you came back,” he said, dragging his fingers on the touchpad to find the files, “Things were getting a little boring here.”

                                                    *

As a spy, finding targets wasn’t something you were unfamiliar with. In fact, since coming back here you were beginning to feel less like a professional spy and more like a rookie in training. You were growing restless every minute you weren’t working, and maybe that was why you were dying to keep yourself busy with something.

Even if that something was completely forbidden by your agency and you would probably be sent to another country again if they ever found that out.

So searching for where Bucky and Sam were using the agency’s resources was probably a bad idea, yet there you were.

You took a deep breath, then approached their table and plopped down to the seat next to Bucky’s.

“You’re going after HYDRA’s leader?”

Bucky’s head whipped up and Sam gawked at you for a second before pulling his brows together.

“What the…”

“Who’s your source?”

“What are you doing here?” Bucky asked through his teeth and you crossed your arms.

“Paying back the favor.”

“Well don’t. I don’t want you here.”

“How did you even know-“

“I’m a spy, Sam,” you stated, “And the agency has been watching you, do you guys seriously think we've left you alone?”

“I was actually hoping you’d leave me alone, yeah.” Bucky growled through his teeth and your heart dropped to your stomach, but you managed to shake your head.

“I don’t—“

“Your agency has been keeping tracks on us?”

You nibbled on your lip, “Just because Accords 2.0 was a failure…” you trailed off and Bucky scoffed, drumming his metal fingers on the table.

“Why are you here?”

“Listen I get it, you hate me,” you said, “Fine. Not a big deal, I can live with that. But I just- I can help.”

Bucky stared at you as if he was waiting for you to say you were joking, but when you didn’t, he let out a bitter laugh.

“You’re not serious, right?”

“Bucky,” Sam said warningly and he threw his hands up.

“You can’t possibly be entertaining this.”

“I’m just asking what the agency knows, that’s all.”

You heaved a deep sigh, trying your hardest not to show your disappointment on your face. It wasn’t like you expected Bucky to welcome you, but you were at least hoping—

Well.

It didn’t matter what you were hoping, it was very obvious that Bucky would never forgive you.

“They’ve just been keeping tracks on you,” you said, “I don’t think any of them put the clues together, and they can’t touch you even if they did, you’d have to do something first. Especially after the last fail—“

“Oh you mean when they took me in after you lied to me about everything and leashed them on me?” Bucky asked you, “That fail?”

You clicked your tongue, “Yeah. That one.”

“Un-fucking-believable.”

“Bucky.”

“But I’ve been going after different HYDRA officials for the last couple of years, and I’ve spent the last 6 months going over everything we had on them, I know some of their locations. So going after HYDRA leader then? Or his super secret location? Why?”

Bucky narrowed his eyes, “Forgive me if I’m not in a sharing mood after learning about what a liar you are. As far as you’re concerned, we’re not doing anything.”

“But I’m trying to make amends—“

“Not interested.” Bucky cut you off and you swallowed thickly.

“You’ve seen me fight,” you insisted, “You’ve— you’ve seen how good I am at my job, okay? I just— I swear I won’t say anything to the agency, just let me help.”

Sam looked between you two and turned to Bucky.

“That’s not such a—“

“Don’t say it.”

“Even you have to admit, that’s not a terrible idea.”

“You’d have to be crazy to think you can trust her,” Bucky argued back, “I get that you always want to see the best in people, but you can’t, not with her.”

“I’m sitting right here,” you reminded him and Bucky shrugged his shoulders.

“I know, feel free to leave.”

“Don’t,” Sam told you and Bucky frowned.

“You’re joking.”

“Bucky, she could help.”

“And then turn us in.”

“The agency lied to me about my father, I’m not going to turn you in or do anything to have me manipulated by them again. Whatever the mission is, they won’t know about it, you have my word.”

“Because your word holds any value for me?” Bucky asked you, his voice way too calm and you clenched your jaw.

“The mission doesn’t require a honey trap,” he said when you didn’t answer his rhetorical question, “Thanks for the offer though, Y/N. Go to hell.”

With that, he walked out of the café and you just sat there completely frozen. You could swear your heart weighed a ton in your chest, and your eyes were burning but you quickly blinked the tears back, then shrugged your shoulders.

“That went well.”

“Do you really want to help?” Sam asked after a couple of seconds of silence and you nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

You scoffed a bitter laugh, “Other than apparently signing my own death warrant?” you asked, “I owe him. He doesn’t want to go after me for using him, fine. He still deserves justice. HYDRA destroyed his life, the least I can do is help him get back at them, make them pay.”

Sam raised his brows, “You feel that guilty huh?”

You didn’t have any answer to that, and he took a deep breath.

“Can I trust you?”

“You can,” you murmured, “I want you to, but… I wouldn’t.”

“Okay. Let me rephrase the question, will you betray his trust again?”

There was no hesitation in your voice when you spoke, “I’d rather die.”

Sam held your gaze as if trying to see whether you were sincere or not, then cleared his throat.

“Let me think about it,” he said, “I’m not saying no, okay? Let me think about it and talk with him.”

You nodded slowly, “Thank you.”

He shot you a small smile, then walked out of the café, leaving you alone there. You shut your eyes, leaning your head back and letting out a breath.

“Great,” you muttered, “This should be fun.”

Chapter 25

[eroticandawkward]

What Happened In The Desert II Jack x Thomas from Mojave

Rating: 18+

Warnings: mentions of violence, but nothing you wouldn’t see in the movie itself. Blasphemous use of Jesus’s name.

Description: an alternate ending to Mojave, because it’s a short walk from trying to kill each other to knowing each other Carnally.

 They never really talked about it, never made an agreement all official-like. To tell the truth, Jack thought he’d never see Mr. Angsty Hollywood Hunk again, not after he’d bent Jack over that table and fucked him like some feral beast with the gun pressed to his temple. Seven shots into the sand when he was done, and yeah, maybe Jack lied about the whole Russian Roulette thing, but all is fair in love and war isn’t it?

Anyways. No use going after him again, what with all the security guards buzzing around him like flies 24/7. The way Jack sees it, he came out on top, gets to roam around the desert and the Anaheim Walmart and that little gas station where they leave the hot dogs heating for a little too long so it crunches like a fucking corn chip when you bite into it. Thomas, meanwhile, well. A cage is a cage is a cage. Man was suffocating long before he had warm bodies boxing him in and slipping him their headshots and scripts on the kitchen fucking counter.

There was the question of how Thomas got past his little babysitters, then, and the question of how he found Jack in the middle of the whole ass desert. Maybe he followed the red string of fate that was connecting them two. He’d have to ask him sometime. Not that they talked much, or rather, not that Thomas talked much. Jack got it, he did. “Public life’s an afterlife” and all that. All American Boy talked enough in interviews and daytime tv and fan meetups fueled by alcohol. In the Mojave he could let all that go, the carefully crafted persona falling prey to the darker nature hiding inside all men. Besides, Jack could talk enough for the both of them.

So that was the rhythm of things then, this sporadic undoing in the desert, Yeshua balls deep in Satan for a night so he could return all clean and good to his loyal adoring disciples in the morning. It wasn’t a bad deal, all things considered.

7 months had passed before Jack heard the quiet click of a gun’s safety coming off behind his head. He swallowed the rest of his bourbon- good stuff, nicked it off one of those survivalist vegan types- and didn’t turn around.

“Ain’t you gonna ask how I’ve been brother?” he hummed, observing the empty glass.

“No.”

“Well now that’s just bad manners. Man puts a gun to another man’s head, he should at least give a line or two for the peanut gallery.” He let his voice drop to Clint Eastwood's growl. “’Go on then, make my day’ and so on and so forth.”

“It’s go ahead, make my day,” Thomas corrected.

Jack shrugged and leaned back in his chair. The pistol brushed against his neck. “Misunderstandings and misrememberings, brother. The intention’s the same at the end of the day. “You know-“ He paused to pour more bourbon in his glass, took another sip. “-I caught you on the tee-vee the other day, brother, yes siree. Hamlet, brother, the good stuff. What were you, 23, 24? Still enamored with the high life, I imagine, all the eyes on you looking at you like you’re the hottest thing since sliced bread. You make a fine Hamlet, brother, I will admit that, a fine Hamlet indeed. ‘Course we know it’s all pretend; you can’t fathom a world where everything and everyone is turned against you.”

The pressure of the gun on his neck increased. “And you can,” Thomas said. It wasn’t a question, but there was no sympathy in the statement.

“Well, as I told you when we first met, brother, I’m a Shakespeare man,” Jack replied, before throwing the glass at Thomas’s head and going for the gun.

And this was part of the rhythm of things too, pretending to kill each other as a foreplay designed to lessen vulnerability. It’s alright if you put your dick in another man’s ass as long as you’ve tried to send him to the Underworld first.

[andvys]

Longing (part 3)

Warnings: lots of angst, violence, reader having self doubts, a sprinkle of fluff

Pairing: Ellie Williams x reader

You woke up to loud knocking the next day. Pissed off you got out of bed, who was at your door at 7 am in the morning on your day off? You walked over opening the door you were greeted by Jesse standing there, leaning against the door frame. Immediately straightening up at the sight of him, you thought he was gonna flip out on you the way Ellie did last night.

“Finally, I thought I was about to freeze to death out here.” You stepped to the side letting him in.

“Umm you know it’s my day off right?” Annoyed you fell back on your bed again.

“Yeah not anymore, sorry about that. I need a patrolling partner and I chose you, sorry.” He said, looking at you with a guilty expression.

“Ugh are you serious? What’s wrong with your partner?” You sat up on the bed, looking at him.

“Ellie’s not feeling good today.”

“Tell me about it.” You mumbled. So she wasn’t feeling good, funny she gave you a whole hatred speech, made you feel like shit and now you had to fill in for her but she was the one who felt like shit. Of course.

“Alright, you owe me something.”

“Wrong, Ellie owes you something.”

“Umm yeah no, you were the one who chose me to be your patrol partner not Ellie so... not like you have much to offer but yeah.”

“I could offer you an unforgettable night with me.” He joked.

“Ugh shut up man.” Throwing a pillow at him you went into the bathroom to get changed.

Stepping out in the cold you immediately gave Jesse a death glare for making you go out into the cold today even though you were supposed to have a free day. He smiled at you, patting your shoulder.

“Come on, let’s get this over with.”

“Yeah whatever”

“We won’t be going on our usual patrol routes today, we’re gonna head to one of the small towns, check for some supplies.” Jesse said.

“Oh alright, haven’t done that in a while.” You said.

“Then it’s about damn time.”

Once you got to one of the small towns, closest to Jackson, you went into an old police station, knowing it was probably picked clean already but it didn’t hurt to check.

Checking the drawers, Jesse came into the room and sat on of the old office chairs. Looking at you, you avoided his eyes. You knew he was about to ask you something.

“So (y/n)..” there it was he was gonna ask about Dina.

“There’s nothing going in between me and Dina if that’s what you wanna ask.” You said while rummaging through the drawers.

“I- how did you know I was gonna ask anything about Dina?” Looking up at Jesse “I just do”

He noticed you avoided looking into his eyes.

“It’s none of my business if the two of you are together, we’re broken up.” He stated, looking sad about saying this.

“I- why does everyone think I’m with Dina?!” You asked, getting angry now, you still felt like shit about yesterday and now you were gonna get accused of something you didn’t do again.

“Aren’t you? I mean with her?” Jesse looked at you, confused about your reaction.

“No! What even makes you think that?”

“Well you were with her all this time, sleeping over at her house and I kinda saw you two kissing.” He said. Looking at him you got up and sat on the table.

“Okay hold up, I slept over because she was feeling like shit, she’s feeling sick lately and she was throwing up all night so I took care of her, I didn’t want to leave her alone while she looked like she’d die any second.” You said.

“Oh I didn’t know about that, she okay now?”

“Yeah she’s good now and the kiss? She thanked me for taking care of her and she gave me a kiss on the cheek that’s all.” You got up, walking out of the room you weren’t in the mood to talk any longer.

Jesse sat there thinking about it, it looked like you two kissed. To be fair he drank too much that night and he saw you two in front of Dinas house and from the angle you two were standing it did look like an actual kiss. “Shit I’m so stupid.”

Getting up he walked out of the room to follow you out, hearing a crash and your yell it sounded like you were fighting something or someone. He ran towards the noise, worried about you.

“(Y/n) you okay?” Walking around the corner he was met by the side of you standing there with a gun to your head. A man standing behind you with his arm around your neck and a gun to your temple. You lip was bleeding and it looked like you had a cut on your forehead.

“Don’t fucking move or your girl here dies.” Jesse put his hands up in surrender.

“What do you want?” Jesse asked the man.

“What I want? You break into my town and ask me what I want?!” He started waving the gun around. This man was definitely crazy and he was probably gonna shoot the both of you.

“We didn’t know anyone lived here.” You said through gritted teeth, annoyed at this whole situation. You were still pissed since yesterday and now you had to deal with this bullshit.

“Shut up you stupid bitch.” As if you didn’t wanna kill him already, he looked like a disgusting rapist and that’s what he probably was.

“Hey whoa no need for insults man” Jesse said, getting angry at the stranger for calling you a bitch. The man turned his gun on Jesse now.

“Here’s what we’re gonna do, I’ll let you live boy, get your stuff and leave and imma keep this one to myself.” He grinned at Jesse, showing off his disgusting yellow teeth

“Yeah I don’t think so man.” Jesse said. The man grunted at that going to pull the trigger, you didn’t give him a chance. Headbutting him, you heard the loud cracking of his nose. He let the gun fall down, letting you go he clutched his bleeding nose.

He looked up at you. “You fucking bit-“ not letting him finish, Jesse shot him in the head. Coming up beside you he grabbed your face checking your injuries. “Man I’m so sorry (y/n).” He said.

“It’s fine, he’s dead. Let’s get the hell out of here before more come.” You said grabbing the gun from the dead guy, leaving the building.

Jesse watched you go out, worried about you he ran after you.

“Hold up (y/n), let me clean your wounds, you probably need some stitches.” He said grabbing your arms turning you around making you look at him, he noticed tears in your eyes. “Hey what’s going on?” You tried blinking the tears away but it was to late, the first one falling down already.

“I’m sorry Jesse.” He looked worriedly at you. “I’m sorry for making you think that I got in between you and Dina, I would never do something like that.” He knew this wasn’t the only reason you were crying and he felt bad for even assuming that you were with Dina.

“You got nothing to be sorry for (y/n), I should be the one who’s sorry for even thinking that.” He pulled you into a hug. You were one of his best friends and he made you feel like shit.

“Ellie called me a home wrecker.” Pulling away you looked up at him.

“What?”

“Yeah and she said some pretty hurtful stuff too.” You said, feeling more tears building up in your eyes, you looked down not wanting him to see you cry anymore.

“Oh man come here.” He pulled you in for another hug. “That’s my fault (y/n), I felt like shit and I talked to her about Dina and you.” He felt bad, he didn’t know what Ellie told you but it must’ve been really bad if it made you cry like that. He’s never seen you cry before.

“It’s okay, at least I know how she truly feels about me now.” You said pulling away from the hug, you wiped your tears away walking back to your horse.

“She probably didn’t mean it.” He knew Ellie had feelings for you, she must’ve been jealous about thinking about you and Dina. He regretted ever telling her anything about this whole situation, feeling like it was his fault.

“Yeah I beg to differ, whatever I don’t wanna talk about her, can we just go?” You got on your horse waiting for him to get on his.

“We need to stitch up your wound.” He pointed to the gash on your forehead.

“We’ll do that back in Jackson, it’s not that deep, let’s go.” Shaking his head at you he knew it was a lost cause to try and convince you to clean up your wounds.

The rest of the patrol was even more exhausting, running into a small herd of clickers and runners you had to fight your way through them to get to some houses for supplies but you made it and even managed to find some goods.

Finally back in Jackson, Jesse immediately sent you off to the infirmary to get your wounds checked.

Walking over there, you realized how tired you actually were once you got to the house, the door opened. Leaving the infirmary was none other than Ellie. Stepping out of her way, you rolled your eyes at the girl waiting for her to leave you so you could go inside.

She saw you, eyes widening at your state. You had blood running down your face, from the wound on your forehead. A bleeding lip and bruise on the right side of your face.

“I- (y/n)?” Worried about you and the state you were in. You looked tired, you had bags under your eyes and you looked like you hadn’t slept all night. You looked like you were on the verge of passing out.

“Are you okay? What happened?” She asked. You almost thought that she cared but then you remembered her words from yesterday, scoffing at her you went to walk past her but she grabbed your arm, flinching at her touch you stepped back not letting her touch you. She looked hurt at your reaction.

“(Y/n) I’m sorry about yesterday.” She looked embarrassed and she had regret in her eyes but you wouldn’t forgive her this easily, she hurt you bad.

“Yeah sure, can you get out of my way now?!” You really weren’t in the mood to talk to her now, your day was shitty enough already.

“I- can we talk later?” She looked at you with hopeful eyes.

“No.”

“Please (y/n).” She begged desperately, she quite literally looked like a kicked puppy right now, not able to resist her.

“Fine.” You said annoyed at yourself for giving in. You could see she was happy about your answer.

“Alright umm you can come over later tonight, I’ll be waiting.” She said. Nodding at her words, she let you pass.

“See you later.”

“Bye Ellie.” She watched you go inside.

Ellie felt like shit for yesterday. She didn’t even get why she said all these things to you, this was nothing like her at all. On the way back home she saw Jesse walking home as well, catching up to him.

“Hey what happened out there?”

“Hello to you too Ellie.” Jesse said, looking at her he noticed the worried look on her face. “We ran into a some crazy guy and then had to deal with some infected on the way back home, did you see (y/n) go into the infirmary?”

“I- yeah she um yeah wait crazy guy? Did he attack (y/n)?” Ellie asked. Just thinking about some guy laying his hands on you put her into deep rage.

“Yeah I was in another room when I heard something from the other room and when I got there he was holding a gun to her head but don’t worry about it he’s dead.”

Ellie felt even more guilty now, considering she was supposed to be on patrol today and not you. She should have been the one with a gun to her head and wounds on her face and not you. Ellie thought to herself. Jesse saw that look on her face. He put his hand on her shoulder making her look at him.

“Hey look, (y/n) is strong, we’ve been in worse situations before, she’ll be fine.” He assured her.

“Yeah, well. I made her feel like shit yesterday and now she almost died out there because me. It was supposed to me out there not her.”

“Don’t beat yourself up Ellie, we all make mistakes.” He felt bad for her, he could see how much she struggled right now.

“Not like this, I really hurt her Jesse.” She said looking down.

“I know, she told me about yesterday.”

Looking back up at him, surprised that you talked about her with Jesse.

“What did she say?”

“Nothing is going with Dina if that’s what you wanna know.” Jesse said.

“I know, I talked to Dina today, she kinda flipped out on me after I told her about what happened with (y/n).” She said, looking away embarrassed. Jesse chuckled at that, Dina always defended you. She was small but she could be really scary if she wanted to.

“You gotta fix this Ellie, (y/n) cried today, this is the first time she cried in front of me, whatever you said to her, you gotta make things right.” Seeing the guilty look on her face at the mention of you crying because of her “it’s my fault too you know? You thought they were together because of me.” He added.

“Still that gave me no right to say all this shit to her.” Ellie said.

“We all make mistakes.” Jesse repeated.

“She’s coming over tonight.” Ellie said, looking down.

“She is? She said she was really tired and that she just wanted a shower and her bed and not see anyone else for the rest of the day yet she comes over? See you still have a chance to make things right with her.” Jesse said, making Ellie blush.

“Yeah it’s gonna be awkward, she barely looked at me and she looked pretty mad.”

“She had a bad day, just don’t make it worse.” Jesse said.

Looking at him with an annoyed expression “thanks for the motivation.”

“You’re welcome, alright I gotta go, good luck with your girl, Williams.” He said before going the other way.

“Yeah.”

Ellie waited for you, it seemed like time wouldn’t go by, she just wanted to see you and apologize for all the shit she said. Grabbing her journal she opened a random page, coming across one of her drawings of you. It was the day your friends decided to have a bonfire night, you looked so pretty sitting by the fire, Ellie kept this picture of you in her head only to draw it in her journal once she got back home.

A knock on her door pulled her out of her thoughts, she laid the journal down, walking over to the door she took a deep breath and opened it. The first thing she noticed about you was the stitches you’ve gotten. All the blood on your face earlier hid the actual wound, the cut was longer than it looked before. It would definitely leave a permanent scar. Your lip was busted and there was a bruise on your right eye. It made her angry to see you like this, she wished she would’ve been there to kill this guy herself for laying his hands on you.

“Come in.” She stepped aside. You walked in waiting for her to say something.

You really didn’t want to be here but you decided to give her a chance, everyone deserves a second chance and you couldn’t hate Ellie not even after all the hurtful things she said.

“Umm sit down.” Sitting down you looked at her.

Your silence made her nervous, you’ve never been this quiet with her.

“Jesse told me about what happened out there, you okay?” She asked worriedly.

“Yeah nothing I couldn’t handle.” Your tone was stern and cold.

“I’m sorry (y/n).” She looked guilty. “I’m sorry for everything that I said, I don’t know what has gotten into me.”

Looking at her, you studied her face. Was she genuine?

“It’s fine you said what you were thinking. Nothing wrong with saying the truth.” You said.

“But- but that wasn’t the truth (y/n), I was mad and I talked shit.” She exclaimed. She knew it would be hard to convince you that she wasn’t talking the truth, none of what she said was right.

“It’s okay Ellie, you don’t have to try to make me feel better, you apologized. Let’s leave it at that and let’s just stay away from each other.” You said getting up, you wanted go because you knew staying meant that you would cry especially after that last sentence, you didn’t want to stay away from her but you knew how she felt about you and you didn’t want to be around someone who told you that no one wants or needs you.

“No! Please (y/n).” That made you stop. “Stay.” Turning around you looked at her.

She walked towards you, stopping in front of you.

“I don’t want to stay away from you and I don’t want you to stay away from me.” She whispered, looking into your eyes.

“You told me that no one wants me Ellie.”

“It was a lie, I want you (y/n)” she whispered.

Looking at her, you wanted to believe her you really did but you couldn’t, not when her hurtful words repeated themselves in your head.

You got closer to her, your lips almost touching hers, her breath hitched, she looked at you wide eyed, thinking you were going to kiss her.

“You were right Ellie.” Looking into her eyes, she looked at you curiously.

“No one wants me because that’s what you are, you are no one to me Ellie.” You said coldly, looking at her, she was taken aback by your words, shocked, she tried blinking her tears away. You yourself were on the verge of crying but you had to stay strong, you didn’t want her to see you cry.

You turned around, quickly leaving her place. You leaned against the wall outside, putting your hands on your knees you let the tears fall, you hated yourself for saying this to her but you couldn’t just forgive her after yesterday. Ellie wasn’t no one to you, she was somebody to you. You looked at her door, contemplating going back in and apologize, taking back what you just said to her but you couldn’t, so you left.

Ellie stood there in the middle of her room, processing what you just said to her. “You are no one to me Ellie.” Letting the tears fall, she sat down on her bed, she started sobbing.

Ellie brought this upon herself. She hurt you so you hurt her back. Karma is a bitch.

You weren’t in a better state, you walked home wiping your tears away angrily. You felt like you couldn’t breath anymore so you stopped walking, looking up at the night sky. You thought about everything that happened the past two days. It was just two days but you could already feel yourself slipping back into the darkness, the one that you grew up in. The one that filled you with self doubt and sadness. You weren’t strong enough for this. Taking a deep breath you started walking again.

You didn’t know where to go, you didn’t want to go home, you hated walking into an empty house. You didn’t want to see your friends right now either and you weren’t sure if you should go see Joel, especially after hurting Ellie, surely he would hate you if he found out about that. Realizing that not only Ellie would hate you now, Joel would hate you as well. This made you tear up again, the man who became something like a father figure to you would hate you now.

Your house was the only place for you right now so that’s were you went, walking around the corner of your house you looked down, wiping the tears away you ran into someone, looking up you realized it was Joel.

“Hey kid, I want-“ not finishing his sentence he realized you were crying, he looked at you with worried eyes, without asking any questions he pulled you into his chest hugging you “Come here, sweetheart.” You didn’t deserve this but you hugged him back, sobbing you held onto his jacket. Maybe that was the last time he’d hug you.

His warm hug made you feel safe at least this gave you comfort today because that’s what you needed the most right now. Comfort and love.

[pascalpanic]

Caffeine Rush: Prologue / Red Eye

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!Reader

Summary: Javier gets sent back to the US after he messes with Los Pepes. The coffee shop he chooses to visit may change his life.

W/C: 760

Warnings: language, mentions of canon-typical violence for Narcos

A/N: WELCOME TO CAFFEINE RUSH! Javier doesn’t meet the reader in this prologue, but I am so excited for you guys to fall in love with this story like I have! Thank you so much to my trusty beta readers- as always, you know who you are. This story is going to dive into Javier’s life if he didn’t go to Laredo between seasons 2 and 3 of Narcos, and it heavily relies on past events- you may get a little lost if you haven’t watched the show itself, but this prologue is intended to give you most of the information you need. This is a play on a coffee shop AU, as I’m a barista myself and I’ve always loved this idea. Every chapter will be named after a different coffee house drink!

previous chapter || next chapter || masterlist

Redeye: Brewed coffee with added espresso. Meant for quick caffeination and energy; derives its name from a redeye flight, an overnight flight to get quickly from one place to another.

He is really, truly, 110% fucked, Javier thinks to himself. He’s almost certain he’s about to lose his job, and he isn’t sure he can talk his way out of it. He knew it from the second he looked at his ticket, flight 464 from Medellín to D.C., that it was real and it was going to go terribly.

Javi fucked around with Los Pepes, a radical group who did terrible things to scare Escobar into submission. To be fair, he thinks to himself, they approached him first and gave him no options. But what did he have to lose other than himself? It’s just him down there in Colombia, his apartment lonely and cold, a bachelor pad. He’s not like Steve: he doesn’t have a wife or a daughter or practically anything to lose other than his life. He could’ve put the small price of his livelihood at stake if he had to.

But he didn’t, and now he may lose the other most important thing to him: his job. He’s a damn good agent, and he knows it. His partner, Agent Steve Murphy, probably wouldn’t agree to Javier’s face, but he’d acknowledge it anywhere else. He’s dedicated, willing to bend the rules to get what’s necessary. He puts his job before everything else in his life. He sleeps around, avoiding attachments, drinks too much, and smokes an unhealthy amount of cigarettes, but it’s rare that any of those things come before his duties as a DEA agent.

He paces around the hotel room provided for him. He’s here, in Washington, D.C., for a hearing in front of some of the most important people in the DEA. He’s done lots of bad things to get information, but this is the first time he’s facing real consequences. He’s been pulled from the field and sent up here, away from his partner and his work and far from Escobar. They were getting closer and closer by the day, and Javier is 2,257 miles from Medellín.

He’s been up all night, doing anything he can to keep his mind off of the inevitable. Bits and pieces of a night’s sleep found him while he tossed and turned on the lumpy mattress. His meeting is this afternoon, and he groans as the clock on the nightstand reads it to be 10:32 A.M. He can’t keep pacing in his room like this. He needs some coffee, he decides. He’s barely functioning from the maybe three hours of sleep he got last night. The hotel had some shitty, watery stuff brewed in the lobby, but he tried it earlier and found it to be disgusting. He needs something good.

Javier pulls on some of the casual clothes he managed to pack before being rushed back to the states: a khaki green button-up and his normal tight jeans. He pulls on his shoes and jacket and instinctually reaches for his gun and badge on the nightstand, wincing as he finds it to be empty. Right. Forgot about that part.

He leaves his room after he slips his wallet and key card in his pocket, taking the elevator down to the lobby. It’s odd to be in America again after so long, even if he was born and raised here. Everyone speaks English, and he almost asks the question in Spanish, catching himself as he rehearses it in his head. There’s a pretty young thing at the reception desk, and Javier puts on a charming smile even though he feels like a flaming piece of shit on the inside. “Hey. Any good cafés around here? No offense, but this coffee tastes like shit,” he says and gestures to the two large carafes- one decaf, one regular- on a nearby table. “I need a local’s tastes,” he says, leaning on the counter of the desk.

The pretty blonde girl blushes at his attention. “Three blocks down and two to the left, that’s my favorite place. They’ve got some good espresso.”

Javier nods. “Thanks, honey,” he says and pats the desk, standing upright again and heading off to exactly where he said. The smile drops the second she can’t see him. It’s an easy facade for Javier to pull, one he does quite often when he needs to charm his way into a bed.

Hands in his pockets, he follows her directions, finding a coffee shop just where she sent him. He opens the door and is flooded by the smell of coffee, relaxing him slightly. Nothing some caffeine couldn’t fix, he tells himself as he sighs and walks to the counter, grabbing his wallet from his pocket. A woman stands there, and he offers her a smile. “What’s the strongest thing you can give me?” he asks. “I’m gonna need it.”

-

taglist:

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @softly-sad @blo0dangel @binarydanvvers  @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl @notabotiswear @pedro-pastel @sanchosammy @lv7867 @greeneyedblondie44 @hunnambabe @astoryisaloveaffair @emesispo @pedritobalmando @magikfanatic @sara-alonso @yooforia @pedrosmustache @linnie0119

[notyetneedcoffee]

Can’t Run

Steve Rogers is a wanted man. He broke the Accords, broke the law, and is still trying to do what’s right. . . even if it may get him killed.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Cannon level violence in this chapter, NSFW in future

New series. Others can be found on my Steve Masterlist

 Enough of the cold night air seeped into your old house to prompt you to pull on a heavy sweatshirt and wool socks. It’s not that you couldn’t turn the heater up, you just did see the need. If you could live in a cold tent through an Afghanistan winter, an east Cascade Mountain cold snap wouldn’t kill you.

Gary, your Belgium Malinois, curled up in front of the wood stove on his dog bed. You gave him a quick scratch on your way to the kitchen. The lights were low. All the devices were off. You just needed some quiet time. Maybe a beer would be good, too.

Before you could pull open the refrigerator, your dog moved past you to the rear door. He moved silently, hackles up. Unusual. Your training kicked in and you pushed further back into the shadows. Moving closer to the door, you tried to look through the sliver between your blinds out into the darkness of your carport. Something moved, something man height.

You swore internally as you slipped back to you living room and pulled the P320 from the hidden gun case in your console table by the front entry. Slipping your feet into the muck boots by the door, you quietly stepped out into the cold through the front door. You left Gary in the house, knowing that if you yelled for him he would go through the flimsy dog door. Hopefully, it was just a prowler. No need to be sued for a dog bite by someone who was trying to steal your chainsaw.

Peeking around the corner you saw your car door open and the hood up. ‘Good luck, asshole,’ you thought. ‘That thing isn’t going to turn over until the new starter comes by FedEx tomorrow.’

You stayed back far enough that he couldn’t easily turn on you, but close enough to see well. “Don’t want to shoot you…”

He moved so fast, a blur of dark movement rushed toward your face. You fired twice before a hard hit sent your gun flying. Instinct took over. Your foot made contact. You went low and inside, catching a glancing swing on the shoulder. Your elbow smashed into his gut, knocking him back.

His face came into focus. Holy shit, Steve Rogers.

You jumped back, putting your hands up.

He frowned, hard, before a groan of pain escaped his lips and he slipped to ground.

Blood seeped from his torso, from his thigh, and his shoulder. He was already wounded. You stepped a little closer to the man desperately trying to stay sitting up. “What the hell?”

“Dammit.” He muttered just as his eyes rolled back and he collapsed to the ground.

Shit. You looked around. There was nothing but darkness. Where the hell did Captain Frickin’ America come from and why was he bleeding out in your carport? Shit. You couldn’t let that happen. Rushing inside, you went for the medical go-bag you kept in the closet.

“Gary, get back.” The dog had slipped out when you came inside, he was sniffing over Rogers. At your order, he sat. “I wish you could help me with this.” You spoke to the dog as you began to cut the material away from his wounds.

With well-practiced precision, you cleaned the wounds and applied trauma dressings. It took effort, but you rolled him over to look for any through and throughs or rear entry wounds. He had one more on his left shoulder.

After stopping that leak, you pulled out an old green canvas tent. There was no way you could carry him, but you couldn’t leave him where he was either. Folding the single person tent into a quick litter you tucked it under his side before rolling him over onto his back.

“Okay, Cap.” You stood up, panting a little. “What to do with you?”

But you already knew the answer. It took a lot of tugging, a lot of swearing, but you finally got him moved into the spare bedroom. At least, to the floor of the spare room. The hardwood floors made it a little easier, but you were sweating by the time you were done.

Going back to get your bag, you were thankful for the supplies. The Captain looked ashen and extremely hypotensive. Cutting open the right sleeve of his uniform, you opened an IV kit and pulled out a bag of saline. Even bleeding out the man had great veins. You hung the bag off the bedpost over his head. He would do better with plasma, but you could at least help a little to get his volume up while you figured out what to do.

Your dog whined from the door. “What do I do, Gary? I shot Cap. It’s not like I can call 911. He’s a fugitive. I’m not going to be the one to turn him in.”

“N’hospital.” He murmured.

“Captain?” You leaned over him. “Can you hear me?”

“No.” His eye opened but didn’t focus. “N’hospitals.”

“Okay. No hospitals. Got it.”

Suddenly Gary bolted for the front window. Someone was coming down the drive.

Remembering your gun, you shut the guest room door and dashed to the back of the house. Cold rain had started pelting down, practically sideways. At least it began to wash away the blood. You grabbed your Sig from the driveway and the bandage wrappers. Stuffing the paper in the trash, you heard the car pull up.

Tucking the cold weapon in to your jeans, you took a deep breath and looked at yourself. The ratty black sweat shirt hid any blood and you’d wiped your hands clean. A knock came at the door. Gary barked, aggressively. He didn’t like whomever was at the door.

Three men in uniforms stood at the door. They looked military, but had no visible insignia. You only opened the door a few inches, but enough to let them see you holding back the big dog.

“What is it?” You asked, not bothering to be friendly.

“Ma’am,” One tipped his head. “We’re going door to door looking for a suspect. Male, six foot one, blond or possibly brown hair.”

“Haven’t seen anyone, but something set my dog off like crazy about an hour ago. I thought it was elk.” Living in the woods, you saw them all the time. “He took off, barking like mad, but came back a few minutes later.”

“So, you haven’t seen anyone?”

“Nope.” Gary gave a growl and you tugged on his collar. “This guy would let me know if anyone were around. He’s not fond of men, as you can see.”

He stared at you a moment longer, before nodding. “Alright, ma’am. If you see anything, do not approach. Just dial 911.”

“Got it. Goodnight.”

As you shut the door, Gary instantly settled down and trotted off down the hall. You watched the men get in the car and leave down your drive. They didn’t stop even when they turned onto the main road at the end of your long drive.

You went back to check on your patient, opening the door slowly. The Captain had slid himself up against the wall and was half sitting up. Looking panicked, cornered, and dangerous, somehow his strength was coming back frightening fast.

“Hey there, Captain.” You said softly. “You okay? I mean, I know you’re hurt, but you’re not going to try and kill me, are you?”

“Who’s here?” His voice cracked.

“Just me.” You opened the door all the way and your dog laid down in the hall.

“No.” He frowned. “I heard, heard you talking to a man.”

“Some men came to the door. I lied and sent them away. It’s just me here.”

He shook his head. “Earlier.”

“I was just talking to my dog, Gary.”

“What?” He focused on you fully, face incredulous. “Who names a dog Gary?”

“An asshat brother with the intent to torment me for the rest of my life.” You knelt down, to be eye to eye with him. He huffed a half laugh. “Did I add to your wounds?”

“Um, don’t think so.” He swallowed and lifted his right arm. “You patch me up?”

“Yeah. It was either that or have you bleed out on my drive. Shitty job trying to steal my car, by the way.”

“Sorry.” His eye drooped. “Why didn’t you call me in?”

“We’re soldiers. You’re THE soldier. There’s no way in hell I’m going to do that.” You moved a little closer. “Any chance you’ve got enough strength to help me get you on the bed?”

“Soldier, huh?”

“Army medic, was anyway.” You came a little close and rearranged his IV line. “Good thing, too. You were banged up. I can’t believe you’re talking to me, actually.”

“I shake it off pretty quick.” He groaned as he tried to sit up. “What’s your name?”

“Y/N.” You carefully helped him up an onto the bed. “I’m gonna take your boots off and cut these bloody clothes away. That okay?”

He laid back, panting, and gave a little nod. As you worked on his boots, he got the pain back under control and watched you. “You’re not going to ask what happened?”

“Near as I can figure I’m harboring a wanted man.” You grinned. “Best to have plausible deniability.”

“Fair enough.” Steve stiffened as you cut your way up his pant leg, getting close to his hip.

“Captain,” You paused. “I’m going to do my best to respect your modesty, but I’ve got to get these off.”

He frowned again, but nodded. You figured casual conversation would set him at ease.

“So,” you started. “Gary seems to like you. He doesn’t like most strangers. Are you a dog person?”

“I love dogs.” His lip curved up. “Never had one of my own, but yeah.”

He groaned as you pulled the remnants of his pants from beneath him. He wore black boxer briefs and you did your very best not admire his muscular thighs as you tucked a quilt around him. “It’s pretty amazing you’re even conscious. Is healing part of the whole super soldier thing?”

“Most times,” He ground his teeth together as you got the pieces of his uniform top off. “Doesn’t mean it isn’t painful, though.”

“I can only imagine. I don’t have anything very strong, but I might have one or two painkillers left from rehab after my last surgery. You’re welcome to them. Or a stiff drink?”

“Won’t help,” he huffed a pained laugh. “It would take more than you have, and I could down a bottle and not get drunk. More of that super soldier stuff.”

“Well, that sucks. Did they hide that disclaimer in the fine print or something?”

He laughed, and winced. “Oh, stop that. It hurts to laugh.”

“Sorry.” You grinned and bundled up his ruined clothes. “Any friendlies going to be looking for you?”

“Not for a couple days.”  

You could see him fading fast. “Okay then, you rest. I’m going to get rid of this and bring you something to drink, something to eat too.”

By the time you returned with a large bottle of water, a turkey sandwich, and a pair of pajama bottoms your ex-boyfriend left at your house, the Captain was out cold.

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[anika-ann]

No Strings Attached - Pt.2

Y/N vs. Dangerous Cardio

Type: Modern-college-professor AU x CHUCK, part of Attached series More info here and on the Attached masterlist

Pairing: professor!Steve Rogers x reader   Word count: 3400

Summary: It’s all very sweet until it isn’t.

Warnings: swearing, Steve in a gym, mention of a migraine, violence, gun violence

A/N: Enjoy and thank you if you’re giving this crossover a chance. You don’t need any knowledge of Chuck, not realy.

Attached & No Strings Attached masterlist

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

You woke up with a startle; some shuffling and a click of a drawer made your snap eyes open and follow the sound. Steve’s back welcomed you as he was fishing out something hidden to your sight.

What time was it? What day was it? Why had you been you sleeping when Steve looked like he just got home from work? Why didn’t he wake you?

…hold on. It was Tuesday and there were those Ministry people at the uni and the strange test and you got the splitting headache--- what time was it that Steve was already home?

You groaned when you noticed the drawn curtains, last sunrays peeking through and colouring the sky. Jesus. Had you slept through the majority of the day?!

“Babygirl?” Steve’s voice reached your ears and your head whipped back to him automatically, thanking heavens when your temples didn’t throb with the sudden movement.

He placed the socks on top of the drawer, making his way to you, concern drawing his brows together, creating those lovely worried wrinkles on his forehead.

“Uh-huh?” you hummed as you sat up, once again pleasantly surprised that the world wasn’t swimming in front of your eyes, no blurred vision, nothing.

Aside from feeling sleepy, you were… fine. Which was kinda strange, but you weren’t about to complain.

Sitting next to you on the bed, Steve gently sunk his fingers into your hair, dropping a sweet lingering kiss on your forehead. Lips never leaving your skin, beard scratching lightly, they caressed your temples next; and you realized what was happening, your own lips curling up in a smile as pleasant warmth spread in your chest at Steve’s worry.

He was lowkey checking for fever.

“You’re not subtle,” you informed him, both amused and touched.

His words vibrated against your skin as his mouth moved a bit higher again, thumb caressing your cheekbone.

“Not trying to be. How do you feel?”

“How do you even know I wasn’t feeling good?”

He withdrew a little – not before he dropped a cheeky kiss on your nose – raising a challenging eyebrow.

“Ibuprofen on the table and you sleeping at five in the afternoon after only attending one class?” he offered with a smirk, but you weren’t fooled. It worried him. You weren’t a perfect student, but you rarely skipped class; especially Callahan’s class, because you immensely enjoyed it.

“Fair enough. Is it really five already?” you asked rhetorically, running a hand through your hair, catching Steve’s own and brushing the soft skin of his wrist with your lips; a silent thank you for fussing. He gave a brief smile, pulling you to his side, letting your head lull against his shoulder. “When did you come home?”

“Just a few minutes ago, unfortunately. Kept messing stuff up when I wanted to leave the office.”

Because I was worried, was left unspoken and you sighed, wrapping your arm around Steve’s stomach, drawing soothing circles on his side.

Steve was a mother hen; it wasn’t something that was widely known about him, but you had had several opportunities to experience it and you loved it… most of the time. Then again, it brought unnecessary concern to weight his shoulders down.

“I’m sorry, Stevie. How did you know? Did Bucky tell you something?” you wondered, faintly remembering his gaze having following you as you left.

“Linda Parson dropped by to tell me, actually.”

A snort escaped you and you laughed into Steve’s shoulder, fingers clutching his waist. You felt your cheeks warm up with both amusement and embarrassment when you recalled your last encounter with her.

“Was she able to look you in the eye?” you chuckled, causing Steve to retreat and watch you with puzzlement written all over his face.

“Not really-- how did you-?“

“I was kinda out of it. I’m pretty sure I told on you that you don’t usually sleep naked. And that we totally went at it before going to school today. And that your hair looks really good in the morning.”

Steve’s eyebrows gradually rose until they nearly got lost in his hairline. “Uhm… that would explain it. Also… thanks?”

“As if you didn’t know.”

One corner of his lips rose higher in appreciation and then he looked you in the eye, serious again. “How do you feel?”

You didn’t hesitate – and you didn’t have to make up things just to calm his obvious anxiety. You simply spoke the truth.

“…surprisingly good, actually. Headache’s all gone, which is… weird. Frankly, it was terrible, I can’t remember feeling anything like it before.”

Steve’s gaze travelled all over your face, tender fingers tucking loose strands of hair behind your ears before he proceeded to kiss the presumably offending spots on your face. You couldn’t but smile widely, pulling him in for a proper kiss, which he willingly surrendered to.

“I’m sorry, babygirl,” he whispered, brushing his nose with yours.

“Not your fault.”

“Well, you did sleep for a while as if you were catching up on lost hours… maybe I’m keeping you awake too much,” he remarked cheekily and you rolled your eyes at the switch of moods, tickling his side which caused him to chuckle and swiftly retreat.

“Har-har. Do you hear me complaining?”

“Nope, usually you’re just asking for more.”

You gaped at him and chuckled breathlessly, feeling your stomach flutter at the memories of you doing exactly that. “You are incorrigible, Professor Rogers.”

He only smirked and pecked your lips. “Sweetheart, you’re forgetting I know you wrote about having your cunt eaten out and getting railed against the desk in my office and thanking me for it.”

This time you sputtered, almost choking on your spit at such low blow; playful, yes, but brutal. Also – such language!

“Steve!”

“So I don’t think you should be playing this whole ‘you’re incorrigible’ game with me.”

“Jesus, Steve. You’re a menace.”

“Oh babygirl, you know it... just for you,” he assured you with a grin, his eyes now completely cleared of all worry, humour twinkling in them instead. “Anyway, I uh… I was thinking the gym, since it’s Tuesday, but-“

Right. Another thing about Tuesday. Sweaty Steve and workout. Yum and—eh. Okay.

“Of course. I’m coming with.”

You felt better – you felt completely fine, to be honest. And if it got worse by exercising, well… you could always just settle for taking it awfully easy in order to watch Steve’s biceps bulge under weights, his perfect ass growing even rounder while doing squats.

Oh yeah, you were so coming with.

“Are you sure? I mean, we can totally stay in, I don’t want you to-" he fussed again, but you just shut him up with a quick kiss.

“I’m fine, Stevie. Plus, you’re like a damn model. I need to keep up at least a bit.” You couldn’t but grimace at that a bit, drawing an offended sound from him.

“Hey!” he protested, frowning. “Thanks and all that, but what are you even talking about? Sweetheart, you’re gorgeous. My perfect, perfect pretty girl-“

You squinted at him playfully as he turned your lame attempt at a joke – that might have been a bit serious, because had you seen him – into a compliment. “Charmer. But I mean in general, you know. They say it’s healthy to do sports. Plus, we paid for that couple membership, so…”

“Ah, yes, at least once a week together to get a discount. What were we thinking?”

“That sex doesn’t count if it’s the only exercise we do,” you shot back instantly, this time making him snort in amusement.

“I love you, babygirl. And I know I keep saying it, but I love how your mind works,” he added sweetly, kissing your forehead again as if he wanted to make sure you really weren’t running a fever and thus were ready to be cleared to leave the bed by nurse Rogers.

“Love you too, Stevie. Now let’s go before I change my mind.”

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

Exercising was not such a great idea.

Obviously, Steve delivered; watching him lift weights and work out in general was a delight, your mind helpfully supplying the huffs and other noises you knew he was making occasionally, but couldn’t be heard over the music.

And you actually did enjoy going just for yourself; the endorphins worked wonders for your mood, always. Even today, in the first few minutes as you jogged and then even ran on the treadmill, you were having fun.

But then the previous headache echoed dully in your skull; barely there, considerably less intense than in the morning, but you certainly had no plan to push it. You did not want to be where you had been earlier today.

So you eased up your tempo at first, the pulses in your temples slowing down and then you resigned entirely and switched to a different machine. Less cardio, more strength training, while you did not forget to get an enticing view of your fiancé, recalling other times his face got flushed like this.

Except not even sinful thoughts could quite erase the barely-there tingle of pain.

You gave up with a sigh, wiping your hands to your leggings and approached the most handsome man in the gym.

Steve carefully set his weights down, hair sticking to his forehead in a way that should not be as attractive as it was and smiled at you curiously.

“Hey there, handsome,” you humoured him, earning a breathless chuckle.

“Hey beautiful. What do I owe the pleasure of your company?”

Your eyebrows jumped, smile faltering.

“I’m gonna get some air, just wanted to let you know.”

“You okay?” he asked, damp eyebrows furrowing and you couldn’t resist – you smoothened the line out, for some reason actually revelling in how sticky the skin was. “Gross,” Steve mumbled in return.

“How dare you. I’m… fine. Just feeling the head again and don’t want to overdo it. Fresh air might help,” you offered with a shrug.

“Fresh air? In New York City?”

“Fresh-ish.”

Steve dropped a kiss to your forehead, people around be damned and smiled at you, the concern still undeniably present.

“Just don’t run off on me.”

“Run off? On this?” you joked and not joked at all, gesturing to his body vaguely, earning an eye-roll.  Oh but you knew he liked to have his body appreciated alright. The attractive body just happened to hide a soul that would make angels weep, giving him a reason to actually love him. As a refiner of that, you tapped his chest lightly above his heart, grinning up at him. “And from this? I wouldn’t dream of it, Stevie.”

His gaze softened, probably following you even as you made your way to the lockers.

“Don’t forget your coat!” he called out lowly, but loud enough for you and a few people around to hear. You snorted to yourself as the on-lookers probably thought he was being like an overprotective parent – and yet, you smiled at his care.

“Mother-hen…”

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

You were frankly grateful to have your coat – warmed up from the gym, the early March air was still rather cold against your skin. You made a mental note to thank Steve, thoroughly, for looking out you. He had also had a point; fresh air in New York wasn’t exactly an available article, but you supposed this would do.

Trying to ease the headache, you breathed in deeply, deciding against leaning against a similarly cold and dirty wall, walking slowly instead, glad that the street was one of the less frequented ones as the gym was just outside the busiest city centre.

You opted for subtly observing your fellow citizens in order to relax your mind and to resist the usual urge to pull out your phone and check what was new in the world. You played a game with yourself, one Steve asked you to play with him sometimes and which always resulted in him complimenting your unique mind which he claimed to love so much; just watching people, wondering about what their story was.

You were ninety percent sure that the guy in the beige trench coat was an accountant hating his job, but sticking with it for the sake of his loved ones; a ring told you there was definitely a significant other for him if not a whole family.

The woman your eyes fell on next, on the other hand, loved her job. Either she had a very enthusiastic colleague she was discussing a certain problem with – her eyes were shining with excitement, mouth seemingly forming very long words, likely a scientist then – or the said colleague was more than a colleague. You felt one corner of your lips rise; you knew a thing or two about blurred lines.

The next guy was--- well, hunk. Judging by his built, you would think he was heading for the gym you were hovering around, definitely reckoning him as a regular visitor. But in his leather jacket, jeans and cap, an inconspicuous clothing at first glance, there was just something about him that unsettled you.

Your heart skipped a startled beat when your eyes met. Your insides twisted uncomfortably as his irises flashed with an emotion you didn’t dare to try and read.

His shoulders seemed even wider now as his right hand reached to his lower back, probably to adjust his jeans and pull them higher to shield his loins from the cold. You didn’t blame him, his jacket wasn’t exactly long, more of a fashion statement, than a practical choice-

“GET DOWN!”

The world swayed of its place as something collided with you hard, the woman’s cry barely having reached your ears before she slammed into you. You landed on your side with a hiss of pain as you hit the ground, but the quiet sound was drowned in something much louder – something that made your blood run cold.

The bang rattled through the city noise, instantly followed by screams—and to your horror, more shots were fired before your brain even registered that someone--- someone actually fired a gun.

Multiple times.

And few of those shots rang right from above you, forcing you to close your eyes and flinch violently in fear.

“Get up!”

Your side throbbed with pain, your chest constricted as you couldn’t breathe in, the command falling on deaf ears.

An iron solid grip circled your arm and tugged you half-way up. Your eyes snapped open, catching a glimpse of blond ponytail before your vision blurred with sudden tears and another loud bang thundered through your head.

“Go, GO!”

Your feet acted on their own accord, moving swiftly, stumbling as you were forced to stagger whichever direction you were being pulled.

Heart racing as if it was meant to escape your chest, the world seemed too slow and too fast at once. You couldn’t tell how you were running away from the terrible noise, but you were – and you were still being tugged to follow your companion god knew where, hand on your bicep, fingers digging in, people getting out of your way more than willingly.

And for a good reason.

It finally connected in your brain that--- that was definitely gun in the woman’s hand. You instantly came to a halt, desperately yanking away from her grip.

“Hey!” she complained and you managed to get a look at the woman manhandling you at last, even as she kept looking back and forth as if checking whether you were being followed.

You felt your jaw go slack. She was familiar; very vaguely, but unmistakably familiar.

“Are you-“ you choked out, fear mixing with relief, because this was definitely the woman from today’s morning, the one who was with the ministry even if she wasn’t wearing glasses anymore and what the hell, did the Ministry of Foreign Affairs teach people how to shoot or-

You yelped when a black jeep pulled over by the sidewalk, causing you to instinctively jump back; and to forget for a second that there was a stranger right next to you who had just been in a gunfight probably on your side and got you as far away from the weird gunman as possible.

The backseat door flew open.

“Get in, Walker!”

Walker. Right. That was her name – the name Chuck, Carmichael, had introduced her with as his colleague. And now this.

What the hell was going on and what had it to do with you?! Why did the woman grab you of all people?!

“Come on, we’re here to help, I promise,” Walker blurted out, her sharp gaze still scanning the street, her head beckoning towards the vehicle.

For some reason, you believed her.

Because she had had an opportunity to shoot you instead of shooting after the guy who had just pulled out a gun in the middle of a peaceful street and she hadn’t.

Decision was made. She certainly was the lesser evil at the moment, even if going with her included meeting whoever was driving the jeep and he could be worse than the gunman. But there was no time to lose any more time by your useless pondering.

You climbed into the car, swiftly followed by the blond, door shutting close just as a bullet hit the wingmirror, making you nearly jump out of your skin and scream bloody murder in fright.

You were knocked backwards to the seat and to the side as the driver stomped on the gas harshly, darting from the side of the road into the traffic, horns complaining all around you as he had no regards for the regulations.

“You alright?” the deep timbre from the front seat asked, a grunt following when he took a sharp right, causing you to crash into the other woman.

Your head was spinning, the roller-coaster of madness momentarily rendering you speechless – but the question wasn’t aimed at you.

Which was good, because you were not okay in the slightest.

You were hyperventilating, your lungs burning from the improvised run, your muscles ached from the gym visit and the extra work-out which involved running from a fucking shooter. Your head was back to pounding and your heart felt like it might give out any second.

And you were definitely crying, but all that was the least of your concern, because-- what the fuck was happening?!

Who were these people? Who was the guy who--- who just decided to shoot into the crowd, nearly shooting you? Why did Walker snatch you away from the place, to supposed safety? Why not the others and--- oh god, the others.

Steve!

“We’re good. He obviously got away, but I think I took a good look on a tattoo on the side of his neck.”

The driver – tall, wide-shouldered, with dark-ish hair, that much you could see even with your vision swimming in tears – only grumbled in response.

Before you could say a single word (or yell), your phone vibrated in your pocket and you instantly made a grab for it, pulling it out.

“Is that a phone?!”

“Yeah, I’m really sorry about this,” your blond companion blurted out in response to the irritated question from the driver’s seat.

You didn’t even get to accept Steve’s call before the device was yanked from your hand--- and a second later, a knife was sticking out of it, lead straight through the middle.

“What the fuck?!” you yelped, horrified, terrified and--- utterly shocked.

What---what- where did it even-?

“Not safe. Had it been an older model, I’d just pull the battery out, but these damn smartphones are impossible to open quickly,” Walker complained as if her words made any sense and as if she had a reason to complain.

Why would she even need to remove the battery?! How--- she just cut you off from Steve!

You stared at her, unable to form words, too many frantic thoughts bouncing off in your aching skull.

“What-“ you lamely breathed out, bewildered, freaked out and thoroughly exhausted.

“We’re the good guys, I promise. Which is why I’m sorry about this,” the blond spoke again, softer than before.

You barely had the time to process that she was reaching behind her back before a brief pain stung your neck, the world spinning faster and faster, darkness closing off your vision… and then it swallowed you whole, the last thing you felt being the backrest against your temple.

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

Part 3

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

Well, that went off rails quickly. That’s Chuck to you.

I promise things will start making sense... in the meantime:

Excuse my lacking action writing skills, it’s been a while.

Thank you for reading!

[walkerwords]

“The Savior Sessions” Part 14 of 33 - Negan x GN!Reader

IMAGE CREDIT: AMC (ALL OFFICIAL DIALOG FROM SERIES IS PROPERTY OF AMC)

SERIES MASTERLIST

Summary: Negan goes home, Jesus is brought home, and a whisperer is taken captive. What happens when Negan starts to see how the world is emptier without the one he cares for and how does the reader react to coming face to face with the daughter of their new enemy?

Word Count: 7103

Warning: Swearing

Song I Wrote To: "Unhinged” by Nick Jonas

Note: As I mentioned before we will be getting two different POVs for the next couple of parts, but they then will interact again soon. we need a look into their heads again and thus, we enter the war. THIS ONE IS SO LONG. We flip flop a bit, but its all for story tellin purposes. 

-------------

Alexandria was a ghost town at night, but Negan moved through it easily. 

The last time he had been out on the vacant streets, you had been by his side. Now, it was just a dark street with closed doors and a feeling that something different was in the air.

As he wandered through Alexandria, his thoughts were on you. What would you think if you saw him right now? He had promised that he was going to be waiting for you, but when the opportunity presented itself, Negan felt a draw to the world beyond his concrete box.

He wondered where you were or if you even made it to Hilltop safely. There was a part of him that wanted to take a detour to where his mind was telling him to go. He figured he could just skim the perimeter of Hilltop to see if you were there. However, from his many moments of overhearing Aaron and Gabriel talk outside his cell, he knew how much security was around Maggie’s former homestead. 

The thought of you had him heading to the Grimes house. He knew that Michonne was gone and that the kids would be with Gabriel. It was lucky that nobody bothered to lock their doors anymore. The people of Alexandria were safe considering the big bad wolf was locked up...until now. And while Negan felt anger towards his jailers, violence was the last thing on his mind. So, instead of burning down walls or taking revenge, he took the time to wander through the house. 

He could see little things here and there that had once been Carl’s, trinkets that were too old to be Judith’s or RJ’s. There wasn’t anything out that was once Rick’s, but Negan figured that Michonne would keep that in her bedroom for just her. 

Negan had no intention of crossing that line. 

Instead, he found himself in the doorway of another bedroom. Hanging on a small hook by the door was a compass. Gently, he picked it up and turned it over in his hands. Etched into the metal were the initials “JG”. He smiled softly at that and then looped the compass around his neck. 

Not trusting that the community was going to stay silent for long and with the sunrise on the horizon, Negan ducked back outside, grabbing some laundry that hung on a line close by. Shoving a cap on his head to hopefully obscure his face from afar, he searched for a way out. 

The sun was just rising over the trees when Negan grabbed a shovel as he headed to a portion of the wall that was behind an empty house. Staring up at the wall, Negan took one more second to think about what he was about to do, but then he remembered your face as you watched him through those infernal bars. With a huff, Negan threw the shovel over the wall and then began to climb.

“I thought you were smarter than this,” a small voice came from below him. Negan froze and then slowly turned to see a pajama-clad Judith Grimes. In her hands was her daddy’s gun and it was aimed right at Negan. “I guess not.” 

“You’re not gonna shoot me, kid,” Negan said, looking down at her. 

“I will, I’ll do it,” Judith said but Negan could see her arms shaking from trying to hold up the colt python. 

“I'm not going back. So you just pull that trigger if that's what you're gonna do, little lady. How 'bout this? How 'bout I go my way, you go yours, and we never see each other again?”

“How about you come down and I don’t put a bullet in you?” Judith offered and it was quick, but Negan saw so much of Carl in her then.

“You know, when your mom and dad... when they locked me up, they told me I was gonna be good for something, that I would help people see that things could change,” Negan said.

“Haven’t you done that?” Judith asked.

“Sure, but all the good shit happened to everyone else. I’m just rottin’ away in that box and I don’t think I can do it anymore.”

“What about (Y/N)?” Judith asked. Negan sighed, expecting this. 

“What about them?”

“They’re gonna come back and find you gone. Don’t you think they deserve better than that?” she asked with a frown. 

“They deserve better than me,” Negan said. 

“I don’t think that’s up to you,” Judith said. 

“Judith…” Negan began, but she wasn’t done. 

“No! I heard what you said to them. You promised to be here when they got back.”

“People break promises all the time.”

“Not to people they care about,” she argued. Negan knew she was right, but he had made up his mind. 

“I can’t be locked up anymore, kid. Who knows, maybe I’ll see them again someday but it will be on my terms, not your mom’s.” Judith frowned but then dropped the gun, letting it hang by her side. “You're not letting me go. You're just not seeing me leave,” he tried to reason. 

“You know, there's nothing out there for you. For anyone,” Judith said. 

“You know me better than anyone's known me in a very long time. So... I promise... I promise you that I'm not gonna hurt anyone. Even if they try to hurt me, I promise you, I won't hurt them. But... I gotta go, kid. I have to figure some stuff out.” 

“What do I tell (Y/N)?” she asked and Negan’s heart sank. 

“Nothing,” he said. 

“That’s not fair,” Judith whispered.

“I know,” Negan said and they looked at each other for a moment before she took a few steps back and she nodded. “Thanks, kid.” Negan began to climb again when Judith finally noticed the compass. 

“Hey, were you in my room?” she asked.

“You want it back?” Negan asked her, holding out the trinket. Judith shook her head after thinking about it. 

“Keep it. It'll help you find your way,” she said and then raised her gun again. “But if I see you again, I'll shoot.” Negan grinned at her as he continued to climb. 

“Yeah, I would.”

--------

The road beneath your feet felt wrong.

Everything around you felt wrong and every little sound had you jumping. You were all still shaken about what had happened in the graveyard and you could still hear that horrific whispering. It was like someone had dragged ice up your spine and you couldn’t get warm again.

As you made the trek back to the horses, Aaron and Daryl carried Jesus’ body as you helped Michonne with Eugene. Magna and Yumiko were ahead with their weapons drawn keeping an eye out for any more of the freaks with the masks.

The thunderstorm had been hard enough and then hearing Aaron scream after Jesus had been killed was even worse. It still rolled through your head alongside the whispering.

“What are we supposed to do?” you asked Michonne.

“Keep moving, get back to the horses, and get back to Hilltop,” she assured you.

“Who the hell would do this?” you asked.

“Someone who ain’t right,” Daryl said from behind you.

“You think there’s more?” Yumiko asked, her bow held out in front of her as she surveyed the area.

“Yeah, I do,” Daryl said as he readjusted Jesus’ body.

“Just keep movin’,” Michonne reminded everyone and you plowed on ahead, helping Eugene keep off his knee. It was swelling up even more and he needed to get to Siddiq. It took a bit longer to reach the horses, but eventually, Magna and Yumiko were taking the fence down and helping you to get Eugene up on the saddle.

Aaron and Daryl laid Jesus over one of the other horses while Yumiko and Magna rode the other. You, Michonne, Daryl, and Aaron walked alongside the animals, keeping your eyes on the woods as you did. Everyone was nervous and everyone was on edge. Daryl kept a bolt loaded in his bow and you kept noticing Michonne reaching back to touch her katana. Your own weapons had been lost in the fight, but you now had a new one that rested on your hip.

It was Jesus’ sword.

After you managed to get Jesus’ body off the ground, Aaron had picked up his blade as you all began to run from the cemetery. When you were finally clear, Aaron had passed you the sword without a word.

You had been hesitant to take the blade at first. Not because of whose it was, but because you figured Aaron would be the one to keep it. However, there was a look in his eyes that said more than anything he could put into words. And so, you carefully unbuckled the scabbard from Jesus’ belt and slung it on your own, sheathing the blade.

It swung on your hip now, your hand occasionally brushing against the pommel. Thinking back to the conversation you had with Judith about wanting a blade of your own now made your stomach turn. This was not the way you wanted to gain a new weapon. It felt both alien and right to carry Paul’s sword. 

You were now determined to use it to take down as many of the murderers in masks as you possibly could. Whether they knew it or not, they had just declared war.

As Michonne spoke to Aaron behind you, Daryl caught up to you, matching your stride. He reached out and placed his hand on your shoulder. You reached up and held onto it, letting him ground you.

“It’s good we’re bringin’ him back,” Daryl said.

“I know,” you said with a nod.

“I know ya don’t like small talk,” he said.

“You’re right, I don’t,” you agreed, keeping your eyes forward.

“But, I’m worried about ya,” he admitted.

“I’m alright, Daryl,” you said. “Though, I think that may be the shock.”

“He didn’t deserve to go out like that. Not Jesus,” Daryl said and you knew he was hurting. Jesus and Daryl had an unspoken bond. Both were warriors who cared for the people they protected and they had become quite close. Dixon wasn’t one to be open with his emotions, but you could tell that he was in pain.

“I feel too exposed out here,” you admitted.

“Ya wanna go home?” Daryl asked, but you shook your head.

“No, not yet. I mean, yeah, I do want to get home, but this is more important.” Daryl was watching you and he could see something else was bothering you.

“What have I missed back in Alexandria?” he asked suddenly. “Somethin’ is different with ya. What’s goin’ on?”

“Not now, okay, D? Not now,” you pleaded.

“I don’t want us keepin’ secrets,” Daryl said and you nodded.

“It’s not a secret, I just don’t have the energy to explain.”

“Long story?” he asked.

“Somethin’ like that,” you agreed and he turned his eyes back onto the road, accepting your answer. It was only a few minutes later that Daryl spoke up again.

“I’m gonna try to convince Tara to let them stay,” Daryl said and you knew who he was talking about. You glanced up at Yumiko and Magna with gratitude. While you all had lost Jesus, without them and without Michonne, you could have lost everyone. You could have died too and all you could think about was what would happen to Negan.

It felt wrong to be thinking about him at that moment. Your best friend was gone, but all you wanted was Negan’s strong arms and the comforting sound of his voice. You needed your person and it made you feel a bit sick to think about him that way while walking beside someone who loathed him.

Negan’s hazel eyes lit up your mind like beacons of hope and you were willing to drown in them even if it meant losing the people closest to you. It was selfish and a bit insane, but nobody’s touch would offer you more comfort at that moment more than Negan’s.

When Michonne sped up to walk alongside Daryl, you fell back to walk with the horse that Jesus’ body was laid across. Aaron walked on the other side, keeping his eyes forward.

Michonne and Daryl were speaking about Rick and the sound of his name sent a jolt into your chest. You couldn’t help but wonder what he would do in your current situation. You also wondered what he would do about Negan in general. Would he have let him out of the cage more than the others? Or would he just leave him to rot like the others?

While you were all feeling the loss, Eugene was feeling a more complicated emotion.

Guilt.

“I’m sorry that we had to be in that graveyard,” Eugene said from atop his horse. “If I had just crawled out of that damn barn and went to find you—”

“Eugene, don’t,” you said, interrupting him. “This was not your fault. The only people we need to be blaming are those psychopaths in the damn masks. They killed Jesus, not you. Who knows who they are. They could have been watching us for weeks and we wouldn’t have known. Do not put this on yourself,” you said and then reached for his hand. Eugene reached down and held onto it tightly, tears pricking at his eyes.

Squeezing his hand tight, you tried to reassure him that you were there for him and that he was not alone in any of this. If anyone should feel guilty it was you. You had turned your back on Paul, had let him go and fight the Walkers alone. However, you were trying to remind yourself that the situation was one that nobody could have predicted. Still, it felt as if there was ice in your heart.

Suddenly, Dog became alert. His bark echoed around you and Daryl immediately raised his bow as Michonne pulled her sword. Your hand rested on the foreign weapon on your hip as you caught the motion that Dog had picked up.

Walkers were moving through the trees, but you weren’t so sure they were alone this time. “Is that the living kind or original recipe?” Eugene asked and if it was any other time you may have laughed. However, now, you were silent.

“Let’s find out,” Daryl said and then motioned for you and Michonne to move. You followed your leader, drawing your blade. The small herd was moving across a bridge. Yumiko and Magna secured the mounts while Daryl positioned himself at the end of the bridge, his crossbow raised.

You remained on the other side, Michonne adjacent to you as the others remained hidden too. As the Dead stumbled towards Daryl, he aimed and fired a bolt at one of their legs. When they kept walking, he reloaded and tried again. The second bolt found its target and a shout of pain lit up the bridge.

The masked man went down clutching his leg and the Walkers fell upon him, biting into his fresh, and very much alive flesh. While the Walkers converged, two more individuals in masks turned their attention to the other end of the bridge. One pulled a blade, but they didn’t get very far as an arrow cut through the air and embedded itself in the assailant's forehead.

You turned to see Yumiko standing there with her bow raised and a murderous look in her eye. When the last mask went to go for her, you and Michonne moved at the same time. You both raised your swords, crossing them into an “X” to block her escape. When the killer drew their weapon, Daryl moved in.

“Drop it!” He yelled. The other hesitated for a second before throwing the knife down and getting on their knees, raising their hands. Yumiko and Magna moved to take out the rest of the Walkers while you, Daryl, and Michonne approached the shaking figure on the ground.

Daryl didn’t hesitate to reach for the back of their head and pull the disgusting mask from their head. When their face was revealed, you took a step back.

It was just a kid, a teenage girl.

“Please, please don’t kill me,” the girl said as she looked up at Daryl with terrified eyes. She was filthy and looked as if she had been walking the Earth with the Dead for years. It was unnerving. Even more so, she couldn’t have been that much older than Carol’s son, perhaps even the same age. 

“How many?” Daryl spat.

“Please... you killed them all. It's just me now,” she said, her eyes narrowing in on Daryl’s weapon. Michonne surged forward then and placed her sword against the girl’s throat. 

“I don’t believe you!” Michonne shot, but you knocked the sword back. Michonne looked at you in shock. 

“She’s a fucking kid, Michonne,” you said.

“She’s also a killer, (Y/N),” Michonne argued, pointing her sword back at the kid. Behind you, more Walkers began to approach from the East and it would soon be too much to handle and keep the horses safe. Not to mention keeping an eye on the scared teenager at your feet. Daryl then made the call. 

“We ain’t got time for this, we’re takin’ her with us,” Daryl said as he roughly grabbed the kid’s arm and hauled her to her feet. Michonne shot you a look as she followed after. 

“Shit,” you muttered under your breath, knowing you were never going to hear the end of it. 

--------- 

Negan stood in a clearing, the grass at his feet dead from years of heat and the Dead trampling it. 

He knew where he was, he knew the second he turned off the main road. Years before he would have thought about this particular spot with a smug smile. Now, all he wanted to do was be sick.

And so he did. 

The air felt too hot and every image and sound from that bloody night had come back. He knew their names now. Glenn Rhee and Abraham Ford. Gabriel had made sure that he knew who they were when he first visited him in the cell. From faceless corpses to actual people, Glenn and Abraham haunted him and he took every abusive shriek from the other side as he soaked in his guilt.

You had been in the clearing that night. Though you had barely been conscious since Dwight had given you quite the beating when you tried to stop him from hurting Daryl. Not long ago, you admitted that you barely remembered him talking to everyone in the lineup. You remembered Glenn and Abraham dying and the screams of your family, but not much else. He didn’t know if he was grateful for that or not. 

Perhaps if you could remember everything from that night, then you wouldn’t be wasting your time with him now. It was always so odd for you to talk to him as if the first time you had truly noticed each other was when you first visited his cell. The truth was, he had noticed you that night in the very clearing he was kneeling in. 

He didn’t know what it was that made him look at you twice, but there was a resolve in your eyes even as they glassed over. He could tell that somewhere behind the disorientation and fury was someone who would be the last one standing.

He still believed that. Though, he didn’t think you would be much of a survivor with a failed Savior by your side. At least, not until he knew who he had become and the best way he knew how to figure that out was a test and the new world was the biggest one there was.

-------

Returning to Hilltop was not the celebration you had anticipated when you had set out. 

What started as a rescue mission turned into a funeral procession and as the large gates opened, silence filled the air as you walked with Daryl and the others. Tara and Enid were coming out of Barrington when Enid gasped as she finally saw what and who was on the back of the horse Aaron led. 

Stopping right before the Colonial house, Aaron approached Enid who ran to hug him, burying her face into his chest. He was shaking as he held her. Tara stepped towards Jesus’ body and placed her hand on his back, dipping her head in sorrow. 

You took a step back, not wanting to intrude on the moment. You also made sure Paul’s sword was out of sight. It felt wrong to bring it into Hilltop when it was separated from its owner.

Former owner. 

Instead, you focused on the other task at hand. Daryl hauled the girl off the horse, the blindfold he had put on still tightly in place. She stumbled on the ground as he righted her and began dragging her towards the cellar that you knew led to Hilltop’s jail cells. You followed closely by, ignoring the people’s calls for answers. Daryl yelled back a few but kept walking. 

He yanked open the cellar doors and shoved her down the steps. You followed him and Michonne, your hand now resting on your weapon. You could hear Tara speaking to Tammy above ground, but you ignored her. 

“Daryl?” a voice came and you recognized it immediately. When Henry saw you, his eyes were filled with worry. “(Y/N)? What’s going on?” 

“Jesus is dead,” you told him as Daryl tossed the girl into a cage on the other side of the cellar. 

“What?” Henry asked. You didn’t have the energy to respond to the kid as you slipped away towards Daryl and Michonne. You didn’t even want to ask why the kid was down in the cells in the first place. 

Daryl was glaring down at the kid as she stared up at him with those same terrified eyes. 

“No more bullshit,” he sneered. “Yer gonna talk or I’ll finish what she started,” he said pointing to Michonne. The girl met your eyes through the bars, but you just faded back into the shadows and watched. 

---------

Negan didn’t remember the world feeling this empty. 

Then again, anytime he was out in it, he had an army at his back. Now, he only had himself. He could practically hear your voice in his head saying something like, “Come on, now you’re just bein’ dramatic.” 

That thought comforted him as he came across a building that seemed to be Walker-free. With a quick shove, he broke in through the front door and began making his way through the shop. Immediately, he clocked it as too small and that you would hate it. You had only briefly mentioned your fear of small spaces, but it was one of the small details that he had never forgotten. 

When he spotted a leather jacket, a laugh flew from his throat, and with a smile, he slid it across his shoulders. “Damn Teach, would you look at that? Fits like a glove,” He said quietly. Shaking off the thoughts that were threatening to overwhelm him, he moved further into the shop. 

When a gnarled hand grabbed at his ankle, Negan swore in surprise but brought his boot down on the Walker’s head before it could take a bite out of his leg. Then, of course, because his luck was turning for the worse, the storage room door broke open and more Walkers flooded into the small aisles.

Negan ran for the back door and slammed his body into it. Scrambling to get back outside, he wrenched the door open and shoved it behind him just as the Walkers reached for him. “Jesus Christ,” he swore, and then finally, he got it to shut. 

Negan glared at the door as he tried to catch his breath. He hadn’t had to fight Walkers for over six years and he had almost forgotten how it felt to go up against the things. He thought back to the night when the wall had come down and he had seen you fight with your blades. You had been a powerhouse and one that he had no intention of ever going up against. He definitely understood then why you were one of Alexandria’s main protectors. 

Letting that image wash over him, he finally turned his face towards the direction he was always heading.

He was going home.

----------

The girl was still begging, but Daryl wasn’t having it. 

“How many more?” he asked for the third time. 

“They're all dead,” the girl said as tears streamed down her face. “My family's dead. Please just stop.” The begging was starting to get to you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to ask Daryl to stop. You knew that you needed answers. However, no matter how angry you were, you hated seeing a kid in a cage. Just another thing you had in common with Negan.

“Not until ya start answering our questions. Your name. Start with your name.”

“I told you, I don't have one. None of us do. None of us did. That's not how it worked,” she said, trying to make him understand. 

“How did it work? Why do you wear their skins?” you asked, finally stepping out of the shadows. “What’s the point?”

“It's what we did to live. That's... That's all we wanted to do. Live,” she said, but you still couldn’t understand why. Since the start of the Apocalpyse, there was only one constant rule and that was to stay away from the Walkers. How these...people could willingly surround themselves with them is something you couldn’t comprehend.

“You're saying you had to do this?” Michonne shot back. 

“You wouldn't understand,” the girl whimpered. 

“Then make us understand. What the hell were you doing?” Michonne tried again.

“We... We were just trying to see if they were good people, too. But then you attacked us, and now they're dead. They're all dead. And I don't have anything!”

“What did your people know about us? Do they know about this place?” Michonne asked, glaring down at the girl.

“I don't know. I don't know anything. They didn't tell me anything!” she yelled as the sobs continued. “Please stop asking me. Just leave me alone, please. Please just leave me alone,” she begged and Daryl threw his hands up in exasperation. 

As Michonne and Daryl slammed the cage door behind them, he looked at you and you knew what he was asking. You nodded and leaned back against the wall to watch over the girl as Daryl led Michonne outside to speak to her.

After a moment of hearing the soft cries of the girl across from you, you finally stepped forward. She backed away as you approached her. Resting your arms on the bars, you stared down at her calmly. You were well-versed in speaking to someone from the other side of a cell, but this was not Negan and you were not in the mood to play games. 

“I don’t care about your name,” you began. “That not what’s important right now. To be honest with you, I am struggling with not breaking this door open and strangling you.” She gulped at that. “However, I am not someone who kills kids. Though, I can’t say the same for my friends that just left. You see, kid, we are incredibly protective over our people and we don’t let monsters hurt them.” 

“I didn’t—”

“I’m not done,” you stopped her. “I know all about monsters. I know how they think, how they act, and I know how to make them talk.” She was staring up at you with wide eyes and you could feel the fear that was radiating off of her. 

“(Y/N)…” Henry interjected. 

“Shut up, Henry!” you shot back, turning your glare on him as he sunk back into his cell. 

“I never wanted to hurt anyone! You attacked us!”

“We were killing Walkers!” you shouted back. “And in case you damn well forgot, you were the ones hunting us.” 

“This is just how the world works now,” she whispered. 

“I know damn well how the world works. You’re a child, you may be a part of some kind of cult or whatever the hell you wanna call your family, but you are still. A. Child. We’ve all seen the way this world is, we’ve fought for our lives here, won wars, and lost friends. Now, I got someone waitin’ for me and I ain’t about to waste my time on you and your bullshit. I stand by my code that I don’t want to kill you, but make no mistake, if I don’t start gettin’ some damn answers, I will keep your ass down here. Even if that means you never see daylight again.”

--------

“Home, sweet home,” Negan said as he looked up at the factory that was once his kingdom. 

A pipe was resting on his shoulder as he smiled up at the building, feeling a shred of his former self trying to breakthrough. If he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine that there were people on the other side of those walls waiting to welcome him home. 

However, he knew the truth. The Saviors were gone, his kingdom had fallen, and all he was now was a washed-up leader with a rusty pipe. From the corner of his eye, he could see a few Walkers staggering towards him. With a wide smile, he swung the pipe and cracked the first skull. Dark blood sprayed as the creature hit the ground and then, he was fired up. 

As more and more of the Dead converged on him, he got back into the rhythm that he thought he had lost. It was exhilarating to just let go and take out all his frustration on the Dead. He had been feeling quite overwhelmed and angry the past few months, more so than usual and he had been so afraid that he would lash out at you and scare you off. 

By the time he was out of breath and thoroughly proud of himself, Negan strutted towards the front doors. However what he was met with was not a shrine to his empire, but a sunken graveyard of failure. 

The entirety of the factory floor was flooded and if he hadn’t known the building like the back of his hand, he wouldn’t have thought this was the same place he had stood above proudly seven years before. Negan leaned against the railing, hanging his head.

None of it was right. 

He could see bodies of fallen Walkers submerged in the corner, old equipment from before used to barricade doors, and even evidence that multiple fights had broken out. Negan wasn’t fully aware of what became the Sanctuary during the year after the war. Laura had told him once that Daryl was overseeing it but that he was rarely there and when he was, he always wanted to leave. 

Negan didn’t blame him. Daryl had been through hell and back at the Sanctuary. Another thing he wasn’t all that proud of. Truth was, Negan liked Daryl, he even respected him, but back then, he liked power even more. Just thinking about the kneeling and the killing now made Negan ashamed. 

Not all of it, but most of it. He never felt guilty for what he did to the Monroe boy. Even you had agreed that Spencer had deserved it and nobody missed him all that much. He probably didn’t deserve a full evisceration, but he never felt bad about killing him. Then there were the moments that he killed to protect his people, the incidents that happened before he met Rick. 

However, then there were the moments that he had learned about after the war. The killing of the child at Hilltop, the massacre at Oceanside, and of course, the slaughter of Jadis’ people at the dump. Simon had been very busy. Negan thought his Second was simply spreading fear, but he had never known just how blood-soaked his name had become. 

“I am Negan” was now sounding more like a curse than a mantra. 

As Negan walked through the ruins of his former home, he was met with a loud bang as a Walker threw itself at one of the doors. Negan recognized them immediately. "Big Richie, is that you? Look at you. Loyal to the end,” Negan said as he looked at the Dead man. 

He moved on, heading out onto the main floor where he felt the true loss of everything. Most importantly, though, he was missing you. He didn’t know if you were home yet or if Judith had told anyone what happened. 

If he was being honest with himself and he always was, he didn’t care about a cage or a warden in the form of Father Gabriel. He just wanted you. Leaving Alexandria, breaking his promise, all of it was a mistake and he now hated himself for it.

His hand found the compass around his neck and he flipped it over, rubbing his hands over the initials carved into the back. He sighed, closing his eyes as he thought about the last thing he had said to you. 

“I’ll be waiting,” he whispered to himself. That was what he said to you and you had believed him. “Fuck,” he swore as took a last look at the fallen kingdom. He had made up his mind and there was no going back this time. 

He didn’t care about Michonne or Daryl or even if Rosita wanted to skill him alive. He only cared about you and that alone had him walking from the Sanctuary and turning his back on his old life in favor of the new one he wanted to build with you. 

As he spotted a motorcycle, a realization hit him like a truck. He smiled and the rusty pipe in his hand fell from his grip, the sound echoing around the yard like the final ring of a church bell on Sunday.

“I’m comin’ home, (Y/N).”

-------

Michonne was leaving. 

You knew that she had too. It was too dangerous for people back home in Alexandria to not know what was going on. However, you had decided to stay just a bit longer. “Are you sure?” she asked you as you walked through Hilltop.

“I need to be here to get answers and I don’t know, try to get Daryl to keep his head on straight,” you said. 

“What about Negan?” Michonne asked and for the first time, her tone wasn’t that hostile when speaking his name.

“He knew I was coming out here. I’ll see him when I see him.”

“Should I tell him what’s going on?” Michonne asked. You thought about it for a moment before nodding. 

“Probably for the best. He’s gonna hear people talking about it anyway. Hell, maybe he’s heard about these freaks before. I know he traveled for a bit before settling at the Sanctuary.” Michonne nodded. 

“I’ll ask him,” she said. 

“Something isn’t adding up with this girl,” you admitted. 

“What are you thinking?” 

“This kind of pack mentality, the no-names, the vicious nature of these people,” you said, trying to wrap your mind around it all. “I don’t think she’s telling us the truth when she said we killed them all. If my instincts are right, there is a whole herd of masks out there. They may have been out there for a while too.” 

“This is not good,” Michonne said, rubbing at her brow, 

“I’m going to get the answers I need and then I’ll come home and tell you what I think,” you said. 

“Alright, I think that’s the best idea.”

“Go, Michonne, get back to your kids,” you said and she smiled softly, reaching out to give you a hug before going over to Daryl to tell him the same thing. Your eyes scanned the community around you and you were starting to get nervous. 

Tara had told you that Alden and Luke had gone out to look for you and they hadn’t returned.  There were thoughts that were nagging at you that said that they were in trouble and you couldn’t shake them. Alden was a good friend and he was special to Enid. You couldn’t handle losing him so soon after Jesus. And Luke was important to Yumiko and Magna, two people who you now trusted with your life. 

When Jesus was finally buried, you stood at the back, gripping his weapon. Aaron stood next to you, his hand wrapped around your shoulder as you watched the man you both cared for be placed in the ground. It was a silent ceremony and as the grave was filled in, Enid was nowhere to be found. But you knew where she was, she was with Glenn. 

Enid always went to his grave when someone had died and you were probably the only one who knew that besides Alden. You didn’t mention it as Aaron hugged you goodbye and followed the rest of Alexandrians from Hilltop with Michonne leading them home. 

Instead of participating in the moment of silence with the rest of Hilltop, you headed back down to the cell. Daryl found you down there a few moments later and didn’t say anything. The girl had cowered at your presence when you had entered, but now just watched you with open curiosity.

Daryl was pissed when he barged in, heading straight for her. You didn’t try to stop him. 

“Who are you?” Daryl barked. “Answer the question. You wanna die? Is that it?” he bellowed, but Henry wasn’t having it either. 

“Daryl, what's your problem?” Henry said. 

 “Quiet!” you yelled at the kid and he just slammed his hands against the bars. 

“Do you?” Daryl repeated. “People up there just buried a good man. And they are ready to string you up right now. All I got to do is drag your ass up them steps. How many in your group?” 

“I already told you…” she said but Daryl ripped open the door and grabbed her, throwing her against the bars. 

“How many?” he yelled.

“I don’t know, ten maybe? We wore skins to blend in. We didn't have names. I mean... I mean, we did, but we didn't use them!” 

“How long you been out around here?”

“I don't know. We moved around with the... with the Dead. I mean, the skins made them leave us alone. They protected us, so we protected them.”

“You got a camp? Walls?” you asked.

“Walls don't keep you safe. Places like this don't make it. They never make it. That's how it is. My mom and me, we saw it happen over and over. I... I barely remember the world before all this. But my mom, she told me how it was changing, how we had to change with it, how we needed the dead and each other to keep safe. We're never alone.”

“Why'd your people kill our people?” Daryl asked. 

“It's just what we do. Everybody still alive is a threat. It's us or them.”

“How many people in your group and don't lie to me!”

“My mom! It's just my mom,” she said. 

“You said your people were never alone,” you said, narrowing your eyes.  The girl’s eyes widened as she was caught in a lie and then Daryl was grabbing her and trying to drag her from the cell. 

“No! No, I told you the truth!”

“I told you what was gonna happen!” Daryl yelled back

“Daryl!” Henry shouted. 

“Shut up!” Daryl snapped at him.

“Please! Let go of me!” the girl begged.

“Daryl, stop!” Henry begged again and you were ready to ship his ass back to the Kingdom right then. 

“Please, Daryl, please don't kill me, please,” the girl said, and at the sound of his name falling from her lips, he pushed her back into the cell and slammed the door. As Daryl went to yell at Henry, you couldn’t hear anymore. You climbed back to the surface and tried to calm down. 

Daryl wasn’t far behind you. “I don’t believe her,” you said. “What happened with the herd and the graveyard, it was too coordinated.”

“I know,” Daryl said. “Come here.” He led you over to the window that led into the cell where the girl was and he sat down. You joined him and then, you listened. 

“Thank you,” the girl said. 

“What?” Henry responded. 

“For saving me, thank you.” 

“You’re welcome,” he said and then, “I'm Henry.” It was quiet for a moment before she finally responded.

“I'm Lydia.”

-------

Negan had seen a lot of weird shit in his life, but seeing little Judith Grimes in the middle of the road pointing a gun at him took the cake. 

“Shit!” Negan swore as Judith fired at the bike he rode. He skidded on the road, the bike going into a ditch as he flew off it, landing on his back. Judith ran after him.

“I told you I was gonna shoot you,” Judith said, aiming her weapon on him again. 

“Yeah, you did,” Negan sighed, getting to his feet as he brushed off the dirt from his pants. 

“Why’d you come back?” Judith asked. 

“Because I should have listened to you,” Negan admitted. “There wasn’t anythin’ out there for me.” Judith narrowed her eyes but then shook her head.

“That’s not the full reason,” Judith argued and Negan sighed, crossing his arms. “Tell why you really came back.”

“Judith…” Negan said. 

“Negan,” she shot back and he knew that she wasn’t going to let him move without an answer. Instead of brushing off the girl’s question, Negan knelt down to her level, keeping his eyes on hers. Whatever she saw in his eyes had her dropping the colt and moving closer to him. 

“I don’t care about being locked in a cell if it means that I’m near them,” Negan admitted. “If I can spend only an hour a day with them, it’s worth it because dammit kid, you were always right.” 

“About what?” she asked

Negan reached out and adjusted the brim on her hat as he smiled gently at her. He took a deep breath and then with an open heart said, “I’m in love with (Y/N).”

-------

As tensions rose, somewhere not too far from Hilltop, Alden and Luke were met with the barrel of a shotgun. 

TAGS:  : amaroho  @thanossexual @yes-sir-hotchner @boom-bunny @delusionalteenagewhispers @scootankle @ritajammer21​ @writteriguess @tea-atfive @jennydehavilland​ @halszka-potter​ @yespleasejayhalstead​ @fmunegan @hoemadegrace  @pulplorrd​ @writingdead0829​ @lucillethings

[fuckallthegood0nesweretaken]

New World CH. Twenty One

Title: Thirty Days

Words: 4155

Warnings: Character death, canon-typical violence

A/N: It’s the beginning of the end of an era. Hope y’all enjoy!

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New World Masterlist

Daryl Dixon Masterlist

The Walking Dead Masterlist

Masterlist

~~~~~~~

Six months had passed since the Governor and you were thriving at the prison. The gates had all been fixed, and the walkers were out of the yard. Crops were growing food, some livestock had been found, and no one had died in almost a month. You had given birth to a beautiful little girl named Charlotte and you were the happiest you’ve been in a while.

 You had also remodeled your cell. You took the bottom bunk out, leaving the top one for storage, and Daryl had found a better mattress on a run a few months before Charlotte was born. You did feel bad that you had a nice thing to sleep on, but everyone assured you it was alright. Maggie and Glenn had found one a week after you got yours and you felt a little less guilty. Daryl also found a thick comforter blanket and some more pillows for you along with a kids bed for Adeline. Charlotte slept in her little playpen right next to Adeline in the cell next to yours. It was a little weird not having your kids in the same space as you, but the privacy was welcomed with open arms.

 Waking up with Daryl next to you felt amazing every day. His arms would be around you and his face tucked into the crook of your neck. His hands gravitated towards your belly, even after you had Charlotte, in his sleep and it made you smile every time.

 “Mornin’,” he mumbled into his pillow.

 “Good morning yourself.” Shifting, you kissed him and pulled yourself up.

 “Where ya goin’?”

 “It’s the Big Spot run today so we need to eat. Come on and get up, sleepyhead.” Daryl groaned and Adeline decided to join you in your cell and jump on him.

 “Get up, daddy, get up!” Her knee caught his junk and he let out a low groan before laughing.

 “I’m up, princess. I’m up. Ya hungry?”

 “Yes!”

 “Then get dressed so we can go get breakfast.”

 “Okay!”  

 The three of you got dressed and you met Beth in the common area.

 “Good morning. Excited for the run, I see,” Beth teased as she took Charlotte from you and put her in a double stroller with Judith.

 “I am. You got any requests?”

 “Um, a new notebook and some pens?” Beth asked. “But only if you see them! Don’t go out of the way.”

 “Will do, sweetheart.” Waving goodbye and kissing Lottie goodbye, you walked outside with Daryl and Adeline. Stepping out into the fresh air, you took a deep breath and made your way over to where Carol was handing out breakfast, Sophia coloring on the ground next to her. Adeline joined her best friend and you smiled at the sight.

 “Hey, Carol. Hey, sweetie. Good morning,” you said. “Smells good, what’s for breakfast?”

 “Some left over venison from last night.” Carol handed you a bowl and Daryl a bowl.

 “Thanks.” Leaning up against the counter, you looked out past the fences.

 “You two going on the run today?” Carol asked you.

 “Yeah.” You stuffed some meat in your mouth. “Dean too.”

 “Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Carol chided lightly. You gave her a sheepish grin, Daryl barely hiding a laugh.

 “Sorry. Dean’s coming too. We want to see if there’s anything we can use for, uh, hunting.”

 Carol nodded in understanding before leaning in slightly.

 “We ever going to tell everyone else?” She asked you.

 “I don’t know. The Council knows and everyone from our group does as well as Dr. S.,” you said with a shrug. “I think that’s all who has to know. Do you think we should tell everyone?”

 “No. People are still in a panic over the walkers happening. If they knew about everything else then it would cause mass hysteria.”

 “Fair point.” You turned back to your food and saw that Carol had put more in your bowl.

 “Don’t tell anyone,” she said with a wink. You laughed lightly and turned to face the tables.

 “Well, I’m going to sit down and eat. I’ll see you at the cars in a few,” you said to Daryl, giving him a kiss. To Carol you said, “Thanks for breakfast. It’s delicious.”

 “Of course. I’ll also make sure Adeline gets to school on time,” Carol said.

 “Thank you.” You gave your daughter and Sophia a hug and kiss before going to sit down next to Dr. S. and Sam, the two of them munching on their own food.

 “Who’s focusing on medical today?” Dr. S. asked you.

 “Sasha. Did you need anything specific?”

 “Just the usual but I’ll take anything really.”

 “I’ll pass the message on.” You shoved the last of your food in your mouth as Dr. S. gave you a nod of thanks. Standing up, you went to put your bowl away when Sam came up to you.

 “You and Dean are getting things for hunting right?” He asked you.

 “Yeah,” you said with a nod. “Anything we can find that could be useful.”

 “I know you always are, but be safe. Please.”

 “I will be.” You stood on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek before walking away.

 ---

 When you got to the cars, Zach and Daryl were already there. Beth was walking away and you heard Daryl mutter something about a romance novel.

 “What’s this I hear about romance novels?” You said, a teasing lilt to your voice.

 “Them kids,” Daryl said. “They’re so cheesy sometimes.”

 “Cheesy can be a good thing, Daryl,” you said, a smirk on your face. Daryl just rolled his eyes.

 “Sometimes it’s just bad,” he muttered.

 You snorted out a laugh and Daryl cracked a small smile at the sound. No one saw it but you since it disappeared when the others started coming to pack up the cars. You started helping and when you went to get in the passenger seat of the truck, you saw Bob walk up.

 “Hey,” Bob said. “I’d like to start pulling my weight around here.”

 “Bob, it’s only been a week since you got here,” Sasha said.

 “That’s a week of meals and a roof over my head that you’ve helped provide. Let me earn my keep.”

 “You were out on your own when Daryl found you, right?” You asked him. He nodded.

 “Yeah. I was.”

 “We just need to make sure that you can play on a team. That you know how,” Sasha said.

 “You know, he was a medic in the army,” Glenn said. Sasha looked at him then looked at you.

 “Your call,” you said with a shrug.

 “The two of you are tough sells, you know that?” Bob said.

 “You’re telling me,” Dean said with a snort. Giving him a glare and the bird, Dean just laughed.

 “Alright. You can come with,” Sasha said. “But you do as we say without any hesitation. That sound reasonable?”

 “Yes, ma’am.”

 “Let’s get going then.”

 She climbed into the driver’s seat of the car and you heard Daryl start his motorcycle. Dean got in the driver’s seat of the truck, Zach getting in the back seat. The mini caravan was almost at the gate when you saw Michonne standing next to Rick.

 “She’s back!” You said excitedly. Rolling down the window, you stuck the top half of your body out of it and waved at her. After she had waved back and her conversation was done with Rick and Daryl, she got in next to Zach.

 “Glad to see you’re okay,” Dean said once the door was shut.

 “Same to you.” She put her hand on your shoulder, giving it a squeeze, and you turned to give her a smile.

 “Did you find anything?” You asked her.

 “No.” Michonne shook her head. “You have any problems with some newcomers?”

 “Nothing of that sort. We’ve been lucky when it comes to that department,” Dean said.

 “What are you talking about?” Zach asked. You looked at him and shook your head.

 “Don’t worry about it.”

 “Alright.” Zach gave you a look, but dropped it. Turning to face the road, you leaned back with a smile on your face. Today was gonna be a good day, you could feel it.

 ---

 When you got to the Big Spot, you hopped out of the truck and lifted one of your empty bags onto your shoulders. Making sure your pistol was secured in its holster and your knife was strapped to your side, you made your way over to the fence where Daryl and Bob were.

 “The army came in and put these fences up, made it a place for people ta go ta,” Daryl said to Bob.

 “When we spotted this place last week, there were a bunch of geeks in here,” you said.

 “They was keepin’ people out like a bunch’a guard dogs.”

 “So they all just left?”

 “No. Listen.” Everyone went quiet and the faint sound of music could be heard.

 “You drew ‘em out,” Michonne said, impressed.

 “A boom box hooked up to some car batteries will do wonders,” you said.

 “Yeah. Now let’s make sure none of them bastards are left,” Daryl said. “Grab whatcha can, but be safe.”

 He walked through the hole in the fence and you followed close behind. You readied your rifle and walked through the maze of tents. Your eyes were peeled for anything you could use and they lit up when you saw a few guns. Slinging your rifle onto your shoulder, you checked all of the guns, happy to see that the magazines were still full and the weapons themselves in working order.

 “Find something?” Dean asked as he came into the tent.

 “Some automatics. They’re in good condition and still have ammo,” you said. Standing up, you held out one of the guns and Dean took it, automatically checking it.

 “Good find, sweetheart. I’ll go put these in the truck.” Dean took the guns and put them in a bag before heading back to the cars, Tyreese going along with him. You walked to the front of the store where Daryl was.

 You sat on the small wall outside and Daryl sat down a few feet away before banging his elbow on the glass.

 “Give it a sec,” he said. You put your chin in your head, eyes closing as the small breeze washed over you.

 “I think I got it,” Zach said after a minute.

 “Me or Daryl?” You said, cracking an eye open.

 “Both.”

 “Got what?” Michonne asked.

 “I’ve been trying to guess what Daryl did before the turn. [Y/n] and her brothers too,” Zach said.

 “He’s tried for, like, six weeks,” Daryl grunted.

 “Been wrong every time,” you teased.

 “I’m right this time, I just know it.”

 “Alright then. Let’s hear it.”

 “I think [y/n] was a teacher of some kind,” Zach said.

 “Of some kind?” You echoed, a little confused.

 “Well, you don’t seem like a traditional teacher. Like, English or history, stuff like that. But you’ve definitely taught something.”

 “You’re not wrong, but you’re not right,” you said. “I’ve taught people skills that I have, but that’s not what my main profession was before.”

 “Damn.”

 “Now let’s hear Daryl’s,” Michonne said.

 “Well, with the way you are at the prison and you being on the council and knowing how to track. You’re helping people but you’re still a bit, uh, surly.” Zach paused for effect. “Homicide cop.”

 Michonne started laughing and you couldn’t help but let out a giggle.

 “What’s so funny?” Daryl said, looking at the two of you.

 “Nothing. It makes perfect sense.”

 “Actually, the man’s right. Undercover.” Daryl looked at you and sent you a small wink before looking at Zach.

 “Really?” Zach said, surprised that Daryl was confirming he was right. You were doing your best to hold in your laughter but what Daryl said next made you lose it.

 “Yep. I don’t like ta talk ‘bout it ‘cause it was a lotta heavy shit, ya know?” Daryl’s voice was all serious and you laughed, causing Zach to look at Daryl.

 “Alright. I’ll have to keep guessing then.”

 “Ya keep doin’ that.”

 A few seconds later and a small group of walkers ran into the glass behind you.

 “You ready, detective?” Michonne teased.

 “Let’s do it.”

 You stood up and took your knife out of its sheath. Daryl took the crowbar Glenn handed him, Dean and the others coming closer. Glenn stood next to the door, you and Dean standing right in front.

 “Zach, you go stand with Tyreese and Bob,” you said.

 “But I want to help.”

 “This is only the second run you’ve gone on. Do as I say.”

 “Alright,” Zach muttered. He walked over to the two other men and stood next to them, gun at the ready just in case.

 It didn’t take long to clear the walkers, you and Dean making quick work of them. Once they were all dead and out of the way, you walked into the store to sweep it. You and Dean were a team and you quickly made sure there were no more walkers in the store.

 “Alright. What do we need the most?” You asked Dean.

 “Rock salt and silver. We’re almost out of rings and if we keep taking people in, we’re gonna need more.”

 “Okay. You look for those and I’ll look for anything we can use to make more bullets,” you said. “I know we have a fair amount, but it never hurts to have more.”

 “Let’s get going then. No time to waste.”

 The two of you went your separate ways and you immediately went for the dish section. You tossed anything made out of brass, iron, or silver into your cart and after everything was cleared out, you made your way to the weapons. There wasn’t any ammo left due to the army making camp outside, but all of the knives were still there along with crossbow bolts. Stuffing as much as you could in your bag then putting the rest in the cart, you made your way back to the front of the store.

 Taking the stuff and putting it in the back of the truck, you walked back inside. You had gotten all of the things you could so now you were just wandering the store, looking for anything that your group could use. Finding yourself in the kids clothing area, you pulled your duffel around to your front and started shoving clothes that looked like they might fit the kids, taking some bigger sizes too. When the bag was halfway full, a crash reverberated around the store.

 You zipped up the bag and went running towards the source of the noise. Daryl had beat you there and you saw him crouched down next to two fallen shelves.

 “Ya alright? Got any cuts or somethin’?” You heard Daryl say.

 “No, but my foot is caught, man,” Bob said back. You let out a small sigh of relief to hear that it wasn’t Dean caught under there.

 “[Y/n]!” Dean yelled, skidding to a stop. He saw you and wrapped his arms around you. “Thank god you’re okay.”

 “I’m fine, Dean,” you said, hugging your brother back.

 “What happened?” Glenn asked, coming around the corner.

 “Bob’s stuck,” Daryl said.

 “Everyone’s fine. We’re over in wine and beer,” Zach called out.

 With a grunt, Dean and Daryl lifted the first shelf and you helped Zach steady it.

 “I was moving too fast, man,” Bob said. “Ran right into the drinks.”

 “You lucked out, dude,” Dean said.

 “If this thing had come down the wrong way I don’t want to know what could have happened,” Tyreese said.

 “Let’s get you out and finish the run.” You went to grab the other shelf, but a loud crash sounded. Looking up, you saw a walker had fallen through the roof.

 “We should probably go now,” Glenn said.

 “Bob’s still stuck! We gotta get him outta there,” Daryl said. He rushed towards Bob, Zach right next to him.

 “You two get him and we’ll take care of them,” you said.

 More and more walkers were falling from the ceiling, your eyes widening at the sight. Some died on impact with the floor, their heads being bashed in when they fell. But most managed to fall without any damage. You spun the duffel around so it was on your back and grabbed both your pistol and knife, having both at the ready.

 “[Y/n]! Go!” Dean yelled.

 You backed away, Tyreese at your side. He grabbed your wrist and the two of you went running towards the entrance before being cornered by four walkers. Tyreese shot one in the head and you ganked two. The third one managed to duck Tyreese’s next shot and you surged forward to stab it in the head. Blood sprayed on your face and you wiped it away before continuing on.

 Metal began to creak and you looked up to see a helicopter starting to fall through the roof. When you saw that it was almost directly where Bob was trapped, you started running that way. You and Tyreese managed to get there right as Bob got free and Zach was bit.

 “No!” You cried as Zach was pulled down by the walker. His screams were loud and you surged forward to grab him but Daryl pulled you away.

 “We gotta go!” Daryl yelled.

 The creaking of metal was getting louder and with a look up, you saw the helicopter fall. Running as fast as you could, you got outside the building and to the cars. Most of the supplies people had gotten belonged to the walkers now, but some of the group had managed to shove things in bags before shit hit the fan.

 When you were safely inside the truck, you leaned back and let out a sigh. It had been thirty days since someone had died on a run and you wished it had been longer.

 You were wrong about it being a good day.

 ---

 When you got back, it was dark. You were silent as you helped bring the hunting gear to your little shed. Dumping the metal, you got to work sorting them out and putting them in their own little piles. You were so submerged in your work, you didn’t notice someone had come inside the shed until the door closed. Turning around, you saw Beth standing there.

 “Beth,” you said quietly.

 She said nothing but ran into your arms. Her body was shaking and you could tell that she was holding back tears. Shushing her softly, you held her tight, rubbing your hand up and down her back.

 “He’s gone and I never even said goodbye,” Beth whispered after a few moments.

 “Who told you?” You asked her.

 “Daryl.”

 “Did you want to go back? Or did you want to stay here for a while?”

 “Can I stay with you?”

 “Of course you can, sweetheart. If you’re up to it, I could use some help sorting these.” Holding up a cast iron skillet, you waved it slightly.

 “I think I can help. What do you need me to do?”

 You smiled brightly before explaining what you were doing to Beth. It took little over an hour for you to sort everything and prepare it to be melted down in the morning. You could have done more, but you saw Beth yawning and trying to stay awake.

 “I think it’s time for bed,” you said. Beth nodded sleepily and you wrapped an arm around her to keep her from falling.

 When you got to her cell, she was asleep on her feet. Taking her boots off and putting a blanket on top of her, you kissed her forehead before leaving the cell. Quietly walking up the stairs, you got to your own cell to find Daryl waiting for you. He opened his arms and you fell into them.

 “I saw that Beth went ta ya after I told her what happened,” Daryl said after a moment.

 “She did. She seemed pretty shaken up about it but I took her mind off of things with menial tasks.” You sighed and shoved your face in Daryl’s chest. “He didn’t deserve a death like that.”

 “He didn’t. But it happened and we can’t do nothin’ ta change it.” Daryl kissed the top of your head and held you tighter.

 “I know.”

 ---

 When Rick’s alarm went off, you woke with a start. Daryl had already left for his watch shift and you groaned quietly, you covered your head with your blanket before throwing it away completely to get dressed. Putting on a stained tank-top and an old flannel, you pulled on a tattered pair of jeans and your boots. Walking out of your cell, you grabbed a protein bar before making your way down to the shed with Dean. Shoving the rest of the bar in your mouth and rolling up your sleeves, you started working.

 About ten minutes after you got the fire going and when you were about to put the metal in, you heard gunshots. Head whipping around, you made eye contact with Dean before rushing to the main buildings. Dean put out the fire and ran after you.

 “Help!” You heard Lizzie yell. “Come quick!”

 “Carol, what the hell is going on?” You said, panting slightly from running.

 “I have no idea!”

 “There’s walkers in D!” Glenn yelled, running up to you.

 “What about C?” Rick asked.

 “Where are the kids?” You said, eyes widening in fear.

 “It’s clear!” Sasha said. “We locked the gates to the tombs.”

 “It ain’t a breach!” Daryl said.

 “Hershel’s on guard and watching the kids.” Sam came up to you and Dean before everyone went running to D-Block.

 When you got there, everything was in chaos. A man was shooting a shotgun and Daryl quickly took it from him, handing it to Rick. You were quick to save a child from getting bit, stabbing the walker in the head before picking her up and handing her to Sam. He got her inside a cell and closed it before going back over to you and saving you from another walker.

 “Thanks,” you said.

 Turning around, you saw a walker get behind Rick. Flipping your knife, you threw it at the walker, hitting it in the back of the head. Bounding up the stairs, after all the walkers downstairs were dead you checked the cells with Glenn. Daryl was close behind you and when Glenn was attacked by a walker, he shot it. Carefully making your way over, you looked down and saw that it was Patrick.

 “It’s Patrick,” Daryl said quietly.

 “That’s all of them,” Sam said.

 Your stomach was twisting at the sight of all the dead people you knew and you took a deep breath before going back to look in the cells. When you saw someone without a head wound, you stabbed them before moving on to the next cell. When you got to the downstairs and saw the people who remained, your heart broke at the terrified expressions on their faces.

 Suddenly, Daryl was next to you and you found yourself holding onto him tightly. It was short and you were moving up the stairs, Sam and Dr. S. leading you to a cell.

 “There’s no bites or wounds,” Rick said, motioning to the walker in front of you. “I think he just died.”

 “Awfully, too. Pleurisy aspiration,” Dr. S. said.

 “Choked on his own blood.”

 “Patrick looked like that,” you said. “He had the same lines on his face as Charlie here.”

 “And I’ve seen them on a walker outside the fence,” Rick chimed.

 “The lines on his face are from the internal lung pressure. It builds up, like if you shake a can of soda and pop the top. But imagine your eyes, ears, nose, and throat being the top.”

 “Is it a sickness from the walkers?” Bob asked.

 “No. These things happened before they were around,” Dr. S. said.

 “Could it be pneumococcal?” Sam said, crossing his arms.

 “It could be. Most likely an aggressive flu strain.”

 “Someone had good timing when they locked him in,” Hershel said.

 “Nah. Charlie sleepwalked. He locked himself in,” Daryl said. “How can someone die in just a day from a cold? He was normal yesterday.”

 “There was a sick pig. She died quick. I also saw a sick boar in the woods,” Rick said.

 “Birds and pigs are how these things spread in the past.” Hershel looked at Rick. “We gotta do something about those hogs.”

 “Maybe we got lucky and these two cases were it,” Dr. S. said.

 “No one’s that lucky,” you muttered.

 “[Y/n]’s right,” Bob said. “Bugs like to run through close quarters. Doesn’t get any closer than this.”

 “All of us here, we’ve been exposed to it.”

 You looked around at the people next to you and bit your lip in worry.

Taglist:

@jazzy1118

[sleepdeprivedheretic]

Bonds (FatGum x Reader)

Notes: self indulgent trash with a kinda angsty Fatgum mafia au with abo elements and smut. There is heavy violence with kinda dark (but not really) Fatgum who cusses too much and who’s the leader of the mafia. The story gets fluffier and Reader be like: oh well he’s hot, though

Warnings: Triggering elements such as abducting, black markets, dark thoughts, heavy violence, strong language, and mentions of non-con. All characters are over the age of twenty, and the nsfw is fluffy and consensual. Read at your own risk.  

…………

  You remembered vaguely how you got there. You had a bag over your head, then. Kicking and screaming out your lungs, and to no avail. Your abductors had enough, it seemed, and next thing you knew, you had a cloth shoved into your mouth, and then your world faded to black.

You woke up not too long ago. You were wearing a thin tunic that barely covered your thighs as you sat in a cage within a dark room. Your hands were cuffed together, for whatever reason, you couldn’t tell. The faint smell of omegas in distress such as yourself lingered in the cold and empty room. It was a while before a door had opened, letting light from the other room hit yours. You could tell now that it was a basement, with the stairs and a tiny window.  

“So, you’re awake?” A rough voice asked you. You turned your head towards the voice. A beta, you thought as his scent was hardly there. He walked down the stairs, towards you with a nasty smirk.

“Yes.” You answered. It was best to play it safe.

“Good. Let’s get one thing clear, Sweetheart, you’re nobody, now. Your birth certificate, I.D, and anything that ties you to society? Gone.” The beta said all too bluntly moved towards the cage, sitting on a stool in front of it. He looked like your average CEO, dressed in a suit and tie. He stared at you with a cocky expression as fear and agony washed over you.

Everything? You couldn’t help but feel your chest clench with tightness. He grinned at your discomfort, seeming to feed on your distressed pheromones.  

“You know what the real kicker is? Your own fuckin’ parents sold you out. Said that you weren’t the alpha they wanted to continue their company’s legacy. Blech. Now that I know that you’re awake, I’ll make sure the boss knows.”

He finally exclaimed as he patted the bars with mock sympathy, and then got up. He walked up the stairs and opened the door, slamming it as he left.

 Your own parents? Sure you weren’t on good terms with them, and hell, you had your own life. You had your own job, your own apartment, your pets…the thoughts dropped as sadness washed over you.

You couldn’t help but sniffle as fat tears dropped onto your tunic and hands. Everything was gone. You had nobody, now. You were devastated, hurt, and fully alone. You were still in bit of a shock, so the effects of what was happening didn’t fully hit you, yet, but you knew that you were going to mentally break. You felt robbed because of your biology, and you hated the feeling. Darkness crept up on you.

You’re going to be sold. You were going to be sold, fucked, and bred full of unwanted cubs in a dangerous organization with nobody to turn to.  

Light returned to the room as the beta walked down the stairs, holding a tray of food. The smell was delicious, despite it’s origins.

“Now, here’s what’s going to happen. We have had too many vigilantes throwing food, refusing to eat, and being just a stupid mess. I’m going to unlock your handcuffs, but you gotta play nice. Fuck up, and I’ll make you eat this on the floor, got it?” The beta growled. You found yourself nodding. Truthfully, you didn’t care.

Your appetite wasn’t great, but you didn’t want to starve to death. He unlocked the cage, and then your cuffs as he eyed you with the scrutiny of a hawk. Handing you your meal, you took it gingerly as he locked the cage back up.

The chicken and vegetables did look delicious, and despite lacking an appetite, it crawled back to you with the mere smell of the food. You took the fork and ate it with no fuss. You weren’t happy with the world right now, but that didn’t mean that you couldn’t enjoy what little pleasures were offered to you. This might be the nicest meal that you’ll have in a while, after all.

The beta looked relieved as he watched you.

“That’s it, Sweetheart. It’s a shame, really.” He admitted. Between bites you asked him what happened to your apartment and pets. He gave you a dirty look, but relented.  

“All your stuff was burned, for we don’t need any evidence that you had existed. Your pets went to the pound, and all that your landlady and few friends know is that you’re across seas.”

“How?” You asked, finishing your meal rather quickly. The beta chuckled.

“We’re the dark underbelly. The black market. We have ways.”

He unlocked the cage, put the handcuffs on you again, took your finished tray, and then locked the cage again. It was bleak, cold, and a dark future. You didn’t know how or what to feel. It was like a numbness washing over you. Of course you wanted to fight, and be stubborn, and tell the beta to shove off, but you didn’t.  

“I can’t waste my breath on you too long. You’re being auctioned off, tomorrow, and when you wake up, more than likely you’ll be getting fucked.” He shrugged as he left. You tried your best to ignore his words. It made you close to hyperventilating, and you knew that wasn’t good. There wasn’t much you could do, really. So you held onto some sort of hope that you’ll be fine within the dark.

Although it wasn’t your nest, your head was feeling dizzy and sleepy. You wondered if they spiked the food. You weren’t surprised. On the bright side, at least it’ll help you sleep.

………..

Gunshots and screams made you jump awake. At first, you were confused by your surroundings, but then it all came flooding back. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. As well, right now, you hoped that you weren’t going to get murdered. It might have been more merciful, you thought darkly. The screams had gotten louder, and you pressed yourself against the cage in fear.

The sounds of gunshots were muffled from where you were sitting, but you could tell that they were getting closer. Your tail was twitching like crazy as your ears were pinned back. Your eyes dilated with fear and you felt your heartbeat quickened. Was this it? Were you about to die? With nobody knowing or caring about your whereabouts? You could smell the faint scent of blood from the other room, wondering vaguely on how many people were murdered. It didn’t suit well with you, but all you could do was wait.

The door slowly clicked open, letting light flood the room. A moment passed before a dark southern accent filled the room.

“So that’s where they’ve been hidin’ you.” A man’s voice. You shuddered, not looking up. You wanted to, though. You wanted to know who had that sandalwood scent mixed in with vanilla and of course, the fresh smell of blood.

The footsteps gotten louder as they neared your cage. Honestly, you could feel as if your heartbeat was going to jump out of your throat. Shiny black shoes were right in front of you through the bars. You could see blood splattered across them as well as the pants.          

      “You gonna look up, Princess?” The voice joked. Fearing for your life, you did that.

The handsome tiger alpha was smirking at you with cockiness and mirth shown within his amber eyes, hair disheveled and blood was splattered onto his face, as well.

“So, we’ve gotten to ya before they could sell you, huh?” He squatted down, making sure that you could see him better.

“I guess.” Was all you could say. It sucked on how fearful you were. Of course your pheromones were screaming that you were in distress at this point. He frowned, as he calculated you.

“So more than likely they got rid of your social identity, huh? Let me guess, somebody close to you sold you off?” He pondered. You didn’t know how to respond to that, but you nodded. He sighed aloud, as if contemplating something. He looked at you thoroughly and you tried to keep your shame to yourself. You didn’t like it.

“So, what are your plans when you get outta here?” He questioned, and you did a double-take. You? Leave? Where would you go? You had no clothes, no job, no identity, and no family to support you.

“I don’t know.” You admitted. It was strange. Here you were, talking to a blood-soaked stranger who was eyeing you with a little bit of sympathy and annoyance, not at you, but probably with the situation.

“Did you kill all of them?” You then asked suddenly. His eyes were trained on yours with a serious expression when he answered.

“Yeah. Do you have a problem with it? A stranger blowin’ off heads, covering their own floors with blood and guts? Hearing their screams as they watch their Family get torn to bits by bullets?” He leered. If he was trying to scare you, it only half worked. To be honest, you’re still in shock from everything, and now you were cold and hungry and were at loss on what you were suppose to do.

“No. I don’t know what to really feel, to be honest.” You answered truthfully. For a moment he seemed to lack expression as if thinking about something when he looked at you. Then sighed for the umpteenth time, rather loudly.

“Fuck. Fine.” He reached into his pocket and for a second, you thought that it was his gun. No, it was the keys to your cage and handcuffs.

“You’re in too deep, you know that? Not only being a witness to several murders, but getting involved with the mafia and black market. No identity, no background, nothing. Getting back to society is gonna be a pain in the ass for you. So, I’ll offer you this once, and only once,” He gave you a stern look full of importance, causing your eyes to lock onto his.

 He unlocked your cage, and then your handcuffs. You rubbed your wrists as he eyed the redness to them with a look of disdain.

“unlike today, we rarely kill. The organization that we’ve busted has been targeting young women and omegas, and sellin’ them to whoever. This is my city, and I don’t like that. What I also don’t like, is innocent bystanders or witnesses, and you fit the bills. Now, I’m not going to threaten you, but it’s obvious that you have nothing and nobody. So you should just join me and my family.”  He said all too bluntly.

You knew that he had a point, but to just join the mafia? It wasn’t a rational decision, or your first choice, but the both of you knew that you couldn’t really afford to be rational.    

“Alright.” You found yourself saying, because honestly, what else could you do? He smiled and patted your cheek.

“Your duties might be bland, but we need extra hands in dealing with paperwork and things like that. It wouldn’t hurt for you to work for your clothes and food. As for your living arrangements, we’ll figure it out. I won’t force ya to do anything you wouldn’t like, but just so you know,” His voice darkened a little, and you blanched a little at it.

“I know that this is way off topic, and probably improper, but I’ll say it anyway. You’re going to be on suppressants. We can’t have some of my boys losing their shit in order to pop a knot.” He finished. You felt blood rush to your cheeks with his forward statement, but hastily agreed. You didn’t want to go into heat, soon. Not after the trauma you were still going through.

He lead you out of the basement, and suddenly the smell of blood hit you fully, this time. You didn’t want to look, but you knew that there were bodies laying across the floor with bullet wounds through their heads. Everything instantly made you feel sick to your stomach. Was this the life you’ll be joining? Granted he said that killing didn’t happen, often, but could you believe that?

“Don’t look so sullen. This will no longer concern you, Omega.” He said, noticing your scent and body language of distress.

“It’s a lot to take in.” You admitted. It was as if it was too much, but you were somehow in the twilight zone of shock. You wanted to come to your senses and feel everything at once. You wanted to cry and scream with anguish at how life was rough and unfair. However, you knew that it was futile. Your new life is in the mafia now.  

“I know.” For once, his voice was almost soft, and it caught you off guard. The two of you walked past the bodies, overstepping the blood and other parts that were probably guts, as another scent had hit you.

It was another alpha. You kept looking at your savior, but he didn’t seem too bothered. It was probably his men. Sure enough, there was a red-haired man with dog appendages in his early twenties standing at the door. He grinned when he seen the two of you. Standing beside him must have been a beta, sullenly looking around with slight disgust as his sharp canine ears twitched.

“Eijirou, Tamaki. This is your newest co-worker. Omega, these are my top two men. Now, let’s get out of here.” Your newest boss acknowledged the two guarding the door.

“She looks cold.” Tamaki, the shorter man with jet black hair observed quietly.  

“Taishiro, you’re so mean! You can’t leave a lady like that, it’s unmanly!” Eijirou, the younger man with wild red hair explained. Taishiro, huh? He huffed as his tail twitched with annoyance.  

“Mind your businesses, brats. We’ll get her suited up and comfortable in no time.” He griped. As the four of you were walking outside towards getaway car, you jumped when you felt his jacket being draped over you.

“Shoulda said somethin’ if you were cold.” He grunted.  

“My mind was occupied.” You shrugged, replaying the awful events that lead you here. He didn’t say anything, but you could tell that he probably understood.

The car ride wasn’t really silent. Eijirou was a hyper alpha, and he kept asking you weird questions, such as your name, date of birth, and what your favorite color was. Taishiro and Tamaki mainly stayed silent as Tamaki drove, but they were listening in to your voice.

“How did you know that somebody close to me sold me out?” You bravely asked your new boss. He sniffed a little uncomfortably, but indulged you.

“It’s always been like that. Families who didn’t want an omega, fake friends who are jealous, stuff like that. I use to work for the police force, and you see the same stuff. If we’re askin’ personal questions, Princess, I gotta few.” He then looked at you. You nodded, giving him permission.

“Who in their right fuckin’ minds sold you? I can see that your dynamic is rare. Snow leopard?” He asked bluntly.

“You’re correct. My family didn’t want an omega. They already have my brother, an alpha, and so they saw me as a burden. I had my own job and place, so it wasn’t like they could marry me off.” You admitted. It felt good to get this off of your chest, and you were a little surprised on how much the weight had lifted.

“Bastards. So, you had a job and shit? You, minding your own business, got fuckin’ kidnapped and almost sold because they had issues?” His tone lowered with anger, and to be honest, you couldn’t help but find it nice that somebody seemed to care about you once.

“I started working a job behind their backs at the age of sixteen, moved out legally by seventeen, and at the age of eighteen, I was finally free. They wanted to marry me off at an early age, but couldn’t dig their claws into me. For the next seven years, I’ve been almost no contact with them and just worked hard. I went through college and got a high paying job. I just graduated, recently, unlike my brother.” You rambled on, but he was listening.

“They must’ve heard about your graduation, and then snapped.” He said, putting the pieces together. His tail was swishing with anger, now, and you felt bad that you made him upset for you.

“Don’t worry about it, Boss. They can’t touch me anymore, right?” You asked, and he nodded.

“I’ll skin them alive, Omega, if they try to touch a hair on your head.” He growled out, and you felt inner warmth for the first time in a while envelop you. Although kind of scary, your boss had been nothing but nice and protective over you. The early horrors of you being scared and alone in the cage, as well as the blood still laid there, but they dwindled a little.

“Taishiro, where is she gonna live? She needs clothes, you know?” Eijirou piped up.

“As well as food. She must be starving, knowing how they treat their omegas.” Tamaki added silently.    

   Taishiro seemed to realize his error, and turned towards you again.  “Omega, do you wanna stay with me? I have extra rooms and security gates from strangers, also that way I can keep a closer eye on ya so your parents can’t touch you. If that makes you uncomfortable, our headquarters has a lobby with a couch. It won’t be as much privacy, but if you don’t wanna share a house with an alpha, that’s understandable.” He finished.

You noticed that Eijirou and Tamaki looked a little shocked, but as well as relieved.

“Boss’s house is the safest. No doubt he’ll be looking in on information about your parents, and so you’ll be able to breathe freely in no time.” Tamaki added in shyly. Eijirou nodded.

“It’s so manly!” He choked up and to your small amusement, Taishiro rolled his eyes a bit playfully.

“Alright. I’ll move in with you.” You admitted. Truthfully, you didn’t find yourself minding. If he wanted to take advantage of you, he would have already, and plus, this was the first light at the end of the tunnel you’ve seen in a while. Taishiro smiled.  

“Hey, Tamaki, do you mind dropping us off at my residence? She can take a shower there and wear my clothes. Later today we’ll go shopping for new ones, eh?” He grinned at you, and Tamaki sighed.

“Already you’re treating her like your omega.” He murmured so lowly, but you heard it.  

“Eh? I couldn’t hear you.” Taishiro’s ear twitched at the mostly silent man.

“Nothing. We’ll be there soon, Boss.” He declared.  

On the way, you couldn’t help but think that he was treating you as such. It was scary on how much you didn’t mind. You wanted to tell yourself that this was the leader of the mafia, for crying out loud. You wanted to argue with yourself, but you knew that you had nothing really to argue against, except of course that he was your gunslinger boss, but that’s about it. The car pulled up to a very nice looking place before it stopped. It was a decent sized house with security gates and cameras, and already you could tell that it was safe.

“We’re here. Thanks, boys. We’ll regroup later today. Eijirou, could you bring Midoriya with us later when we shop for clothes? You know I don’t know much about omega shit.” Taishiro grumbled out. Eijirou’s tail wagged.

“Sure! I’m sure my babe will be thrilled to have another omega friend! Just call us when you need us, Tai-chan!” He waved. Taishiro laughed a little.

“Cheeky brat. Anyways, let’s get you cleaned up and into some clothes. Don’t want the neighborhood starin’ at a blood-soaked man and a half-naked woman.” He was grinning, but there was a dark glint in his eyes. You didn’t hesitate to agree, although you couldn’t help but feel shame and a little embarrassed by your lack of dress. He unlocked the gates with a password, unlocked his front door, and the both of you were now inside his house.

It was decently large, furnished, clean, and smelled strongly like his scent. You already liked being here, it was very comforting.

“Here, follow me. I’ll get you some of my clothes, and then you can take a shower.” He offered, and you did. Of course the only spare clothes he had was his, but you didn’t mind. They were better than the tunic. He left you to your own devices as you locked the door, shedding off your tunic and stepping into the tub.

Tears of relief had hit you when you felt the warm spray hit your cold skin. You weren’t being sold or used against your will. You had a caring boss and your future co-workers were friendly and welcoming. True, it was the mafia, but those men deserved it, didn’t they? A life was precious, yes, but they were willing to throw yours under the bus. Then your boss saved you. He didn’t even hesitate to take care of you. You continued on with your shower, trying not to take too long.

The only shampoo and body wash was of course his, but you really wanted to wash away the smell of blood and the icky surroundings that surrounded the supposedly abandoned house that you were caged in. You didn’t mind smelling like your savior, truth be told. Blood rushed to your cheeks as you remembered what Tamaki had said.

Was he treating you like his omega? Sure you were going to get new clothes, but right now, you were going to smell like him and wear his clothes, that he was more than willing to provide. You just got out of emotional trauma, and already you were feeling this way? No. You decided that you must have been going crazy from all the stress.  

He left you an over-sized shirt with socks and loose jeans with a belt, and you slipped them on after drying yourself and brushing your hair. You hoped that it wouldn’t be too awkward. The house, although large, wasn’t too hard to navigate. Especially when the smell of bacon and eggs hit you from the kitchen. He was standing there, in a white tank top, a towel over his wet hair, and shorts, attending to the skillet.

It took a lot of willpower to not admire him too much. Without the suit, you could see his body more clearly; he had a bulky build, his muscles could have been mistaken for fat, and you approved. Sensing your presence, he turned around and the two of you stared at each other.

“Oh, so the pretty lil’ thing’s outta the shower? Here, you must be starvin’.” He broke the silence as he handed you a plate. The smiley face made with bacon and eggs did it. You couldn’t help but snort at the silly gesture as you felt a warm, joyous feeling, and his attention immediately snapped to your smiling face.

“You look good smilin’, Sweetheart.” As soon as he admitted it, he changed the subject with a cough.

“Anyways, after breakfast, I’ll show you to your room and you can get some proper rest. Eijirou and his mate, Izuku will be here, later and we’ll get you some new clothes, alright?” You agreed.

After finishing your meal, he led you to an almost empty bedroom that only had a twin bed and a spare dresser. You didn’t care, you liked it and didn’t hesitate to let the softness of the bed envelop you. Your muscles were still a little sore from sleeping on the cold hard ground, and sleep just came to you easily.

Your eyes fluttered as something poked your nose. Another poke. When you finally opened your eyes, you were greeted by a green haired stranger. His dwarf rabbit ears flicked with amusement.

“Hello, my name is Izuku! About time you awoke! You and I are going shopping!” He piped up. Eijirou’s mate, you recalled.

“It’s nice to meet you.” You answered truthfully, and he beamed.

“Thank you! I know you don’t have much clothes, less any shoes, so Eiji and I piled up clothes that I think you’d like, so shopping wouldn’t take too long and Tai-chan can rest easy.” Izuku giggled. He was an adorable little omega who like Eijirou, was a chatterbox, you decided. You thanked him sincerely, and it was so cute that his little tail wagged with joy.

In your old life, you didn’t have any omega friends, since they were so rare and you were so occupied with work, so it was nice, for once. As you told him this, he squealed and hugged you.  

……………..

To be honest, you were use to working as a secretary, so you had knowledge of blazers, skirts, stockings, and even dress suits. After sorting out the clothes Izuku had brought, you neatly folded them in the dresser. It didn’t take that long for everybody to get into the car and drive to the nearest mall.

You told Taishiro that you wanted the clothes to come out of your future paychecks, in to which he looked a little surprised, but agreed to your conditions. In your mind, he had done so much already, and although you couldn’t pay it back right now, you were going to at least try to earn your things.    

Izuku would giggle and point at such cute clothing, and you’d let him be distracted as you focused on office wear. Taishiro and Eijirou were following from behind, calculating on each omega’s interest. Your eyes lingered on a comfortable looking dark orange hoodie for a little too, long, and then berated yourself mentally for getting distracted.

Although you were aiming for work clothes, Izuku would try to get you to look at the dresses and cute omega wear, and you couldn’t hep but blush in embarrassment, stating that you had home clothes, already thanks to him and he rolled his eyes. “You’d look soooo cute with that, though!” He huffed, but let you do your thing.

While Izuku wasn’t with you while you were looking at prices, he’d give Taishiro and Eijirou a small piece of his mind.

“You know she needs underwear.” Or “You know that she’d look so cute in that.”. He knew that he was being a little over-bearing, but you barely had anything, for Kami’s sake.

When the time to shop was over, you realized that the alphas had already bought their stuff, and Taishiro paid your stuff with his card, and handed you the receipt so that you can pay him back later. You were forever grateful, and you weren’t short on words telling your boss and new friends that. You did feel a little inferior, letting your boss pay for your stuff, and so it made you strengthen your resolve to pay him back and work extra hard.

When you got home, he dumped some bags into your bedroom, and your heart had leapt with such warmth as you spotted the hoodie that you had wanted, earlier. Maybe you didn’t mind if he someday became your alpha, a voice inside you admitted, and you tried to brush it off.

………………………………………..

A year has passed, since then. True to his word, you were on suppressants, and true to your words and resolve, you worked very hard. Your relationship had strengthened with everybody, especially “Tai-chan”, your beloved boss. You began to learn more things about him, how he actually hated killing, and how he saw the injustice of the prison and jail systems, so he decided to fix things, himself. He wanted to quit, however, but he didn’t know what the right time to do so.    

He did so much for you, you couldn’t believe it. Although you weren’t really into society, anymore, he did help you recover your hard-earned degree, and after a long talk, you wanted to work someplace else, but you still wanted to live with him. He was like a safety net to you and your omega instincts were tickled with delight.  

Nothing helped your growing feelings for him, that was for sure. You also took scent blockers, so he couldn’t smell your scent of approval, or at late nights when he was at work, your arousal. You wanted him, and you swore that to your chagrin, everybody but him knew it. Izuku would wink, Eijirou would give you finger guns, and Tamaki would softly say that you should admit your feelings, or somebody else would snatch him up when he was out of earshot.

You didn’t really have your heats, anymore, but you found yourself wanting to spend one with him, and that thought made you decide that you were done waiting. You were a little shy, but you weren’t getting any younger, and you knew that suppressants weren’t really that good for you. When he was just sitting on the couch, you sat beside him. It was your chance.

“I want to talk to you.” You said with such seriousness, he turned off the television, and looked at you, giving you his full attention.

“What is it, Sweetheart?” He asked. You bit your lip, glancing at his piercing attentive gaze as you tried to find the right words.

“If you wanna move out, you can.” His blunt voice echoed through the air. The hurt tone in his voice made your attention snap to him fully. Although he looked tough, you could see that his eyebrows were furrowed, and it looked as if he was trying to keep the look of hurt under control.

“That’s not it, at all, Taishiro.” You answered truthfully, calling out his name. It seemed to work, for his tail relaxed as he then looked at you with a concerned, and dare you say it, hopeful look.

“I love you.” You felt it spill out so naturally, that you didn’t even blanch with confusion or regret. A weight that you haven’t seemed to notice, was lifted off of your shoulders as he then gave you a look of pure shock.

“What?”

“I love you.” You repeated unabashed. Taking in his silence, you let yourself continue.

“Love is a very powerful emotion, but I had never felt it, before. When you took me in, and took care of me, and helped me take care of myself without wanting anything in return, my feelings were already in too deep. I understand if this makes you uncomfortable, or if you never want to reciprocate them-”

You were cut off with surprise as strong arms enveloped you, pushing your back onto the couch, and his hot mouth was onto yours in an instant. He was holding and kissing you, you realized. Your heart melted into a fiery warmth, and joy spread all over you. Words weren’t really spoken, as he licked your bottom lip, and you opened your mouth, granting him entrance as he delved his tongue in.

New. It was your first kiss, but you couldn’t have felt more hotter or eager as he licked the roof of your mouth, your molars, sucked on your tongue, and you tried your best as you moaned into it, threading your fingers through his hair as he bit your bottom lip in retaliation. He pulled away, the both of you panting as he gazed into your glossy eyes.

“Oh, you didn’t know how long I wanted to do that, Sweetheart.” He growled out as he pecked you on the nose. You couldn’t help but giggle a little.

“How long?” You asked.

“When I seen your fine ass half-naked. It wasn’t the best situation, but you’re a very beautiful omega, and I’m a selfish man. I did those things to genuinely help you, though. Yet, I couldn’t help my instincts screaming at me to take care of ya. I was forever battling myself, Darlin’, because I didn’t want your feelings to be akin Stockholme syndrome, although you have free reign to do what you want. Since you’ve decided to live with me willingly, and confessed your feelings,” His eyes glistened dangerously.

“now that I know your feelings for me are genuine, and not some Stockholme syndrome bullshit, I’m going to mark you up prettily. If you don’t want to bear my mark, say something, now, or else I’m going to make you mine.” He growled out, and you couldn’t help but feel a little bit of slick leak out.

“I love you, genuinely. I didn’t know where I stood, seeing that you were my boss and the leader of the mafia. If you’ll have me as your mate, I’ll gladly bear your mark.” You answered truthfully, breaking the dominant atmosphere as his eyes softened and he relaxed a little.

“I love you, too. So damned much, that it hurts. You don’t make it easy on me, bein’ sweet enough to eat, and sticking by me despite who I am and what I go through. There’s nobody else for me but you, Darlin.” He admitted, kissing you a lot more softly, this time as your heart thundered within you chest and you caressed his cheek as you returned it.

The two of you broke away as the glint returned in his eyes again.

“You wanna christian our bedroom?”

……………...(Smut!)

 Your back was against the massive pillows, stark naked with your legs opened and waiting as he eyed you with such a hunger, you were already leaking slick from your entrance. He made you so comfortable, your inner omega crooned as he, naked as you, decided that he had enough waiting.

You kept from yelping as his hot mouth was on you in an instant. Your fingers turned white as they gripped the bed-sheets in a death grip as he suckled on your clit. It was new, and you would have been writhing, if it weren’t for his grip holding you down. You whined as you felt his chuckle reverberate your entrance.

“We’ll take this slow, alright, Sweetheart? I just wanna eat you up~” He purred, ears flicking at your thighs and you jumped a little. He fat tongue licked a strip upwards at your sopping entrance, and decided that he really liked the taste, because he kept tasting it, licking up your juices as he sometimes swirled his tongue around your sensitive bud, giving it a harsh suck as you whimpered and kept writhing. The sheer noises of the act itself wasn’t helping, either, nor was his loud slurping sounds. It made you feel things that you didn’t know that you were capable of feeling.  

“I want to taste you, -ah! Too!” You admitted aloud. He groaned as he pulled away. Your juices were on his chin, and he was looking at you with such a feral look, you wondered if he was close to a rut.

“As you wish.” Was all he said before he maneuvered your bodies to which you were on top of him, facing his dick and you were all but sitting on his face. His hands gripped your legs as he began licking you again, and you wanted to do the same.

It was big and thick, swollen with red and it looked as if it hurt and you felt a little sorry for it. Your mouth watered at the possibility of tasting it, and you wasted no time in your exploration. He groaned when you touched it, wrapping your hands around it gently as you leaned down and tentatively gave an experiential lick. It tasted salty and a little bitter, but at the same time, there was a flavor of sweetness to it. You liked this taste, you decided. It twitched a little, but that didn’t deter you.

All your life you have been ignoring this, and now you wanted it. He was going to be your mate, and you couldn’t wait to be properly fucked. But first. You kept giving it experiential licks, eventually wrapping your mouth around the tip, and sucked. He jumped a little and cursed, and your own entrance was aching, but you wanted to taste more of him.

You felt one of his hands release the grip on one of your thighs, and felt him entering a thick digit into you as you tried to take more of him within your mouth. You couldn’t help but moan around him as he was pushing his fingers within you, stretching you slowly as the lewd sounds echoed within your shared bedroom. You had never been more turned on more than your entire life, and all of this experience was going to be burnt into your brain. You almost choked on him when he was four fingers deep in you, still licking at your slick and clit and your brain was getting fuzzy. Your jaw started to hurt, and he seemed to understand.

“It’s okay, Sweetheart. Just enjoy yourself, alright? We’ll get to the main event, soon.” He said softly as he kissed the back of your thigh tenderly, and your heart melted a little at the warmth. Soon was sooner than you expected, for the next thing you knew, you were straddling his lap, feeling the heat of his dick against the folds of your labia, and you just wanted to sit on it.

He was kissing you again, more slowly and gently, and you felt yourself purring as you gripped onto him. He broke away, grinning but with more softness than his usual cockiness.

“Look at you. So fucking pretty. All mine. I’m going to fuck you on my lap, yeah? When you come, there better be a mark on me, okay, Sweetheart? I’ll do the same.” You agreed as he grinned, gripping your hips, and leading your aching core to his dick. He stopped dead when you stilled a little. You couldn’t help it, though.

“Somethin’ the matter, Dearest?” He asked softly. You shook your head, but then sighed and relented.

“I’ve...never…” You let the sentence drop and his eyes widened a little with surprise, and then a heated look overcame his features.

“So, that was your first time tastin’ a dick, huh?” He pondered as he rubbed himself against your clit. You whimpered and nodded.

“That...this is a little irrelevant, but that was my first kiss, as well.” You stammered and he stilled. He held you close as he then nuzzled your neck, scenting you.

“You need to speak up about these things, alright? I could have just rammed my dick into you and wouldn’t know better.” He murmured, and then pulled away.

“You still want this?” He asked. You nodded. He kissed you, and then gripped your waist with one hand, and his member with the other. He watched your expression closely as he guided himself within you. You felt a pinch, but the way he began to fill you, began to feel like a delicious friction that you had been wanting for a long time. Your walls squeezed around him, and you could feel his hot member pulsing inside you as it stretched you.

He stilled when he finally bottomed out, you sitting on his dick and balls and you opened your eyes to see him watching you intently. You offered a sweet smile and kissed him in reassurance.

“It doesn’t hurt. The stretch is new, but you’re so good to me.” You admitted, and he groaned as he returned your affections.

“I’m going to take really good care of you, Sweetheart. You might not walk for a week, though.” He grinned, and you smiled as you rolled your hips, experiencing the new friction. It was delicious, and you wanted the feeling to last.

 He pulled you tight against him as he slowly began to roll his hips gently, kissing your face and squeezing your breasts as he looked at you with a such a soft look, it made you keen with approval. He was your gentle alpha. You knew that he was fighting his dominant side, and he was holding himself back. You wanted him to go a little faster, and tried to move your hips to increase the pace, but he held you still, making you whine as he chuckled.

“Sorry, Baby, but I wanna savor you like Takoyaki.” He purred and you keened with approval and arousal. You were panting and sighing as your climax was nearing, and he was just eating it up.

“You want pups?” He asked randomly, hand gripping your ass. You couldn’t say much, but you let out a whine of approval. His breathing was getting labored as he rutted a little faster into you.

“’Cause I’ll give up everything to see you swollen and fat with my pups. Fuck the mafia and fuck getting-ah! Shot. I’ve made up my mind. We’re gonna settle down, and we’re gonna look after our kids. Sound good?” He panted out and you nodded.

“Yes!” You hiccuped and he groaned as he felt your walls tighten as you were getting nearer.

“You’re gonna keep your job, of course, and I’ll find somethin’. White picket fence and everything for us, Baby.” He couldn’t help but speed up, his dick was hitting your cervix and balls against your ass with fervor. He tilted his head, pulling you towards his scent gland, waiting to be bit. Your walls tightened around him as your teeth sank into him as your orgasm hit you like a freight train. You pulsed around him and he faltered and cursed as he returned your favor, biting you.

It was official, the both of you belonged to one another, now, and you couldn’t have been happier. Yet, you were so dizzy and tired, your world faded to black.

When you came to, he was looking at you with such a gentle expression as he wiped you down with a clean washcloth.

“I love you, Sweetheart. You did so well for me. You doin’ alright?” You nodded.

“I love you too, Taishiro.” You admitted softly, and he kissed you slowly for the umpteenth time.  

“I meant it, you know. We can go somewhere else, have a bunch of kids, a white picket fence, and hell, maybe a dog. Only if you want it.” He offered rather shyly. Your hand caressed his cheek, making him look at you as you smiled.

“Of course.”

………………….

End. Geezus. Will I stop with the kinks and smut? Probably not. This fic took longer bc of my new job, but I loved writing it. Purely for self indulgence, but everybody is free to like or reblog it <3      

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Good Business: Part 16

Fandom: Marvel (Mob AU)

Pairing: Chubby!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Bucky Barnes is a ruthless mobster. He’s also referred to as Big Buck due to his towering strong frame as well as his round stomach. You’re the owner of a small diner, a place that Big Buck decides to visit. Based off this drabble.

A/N: uuuummmmm....do people still care about this story?

warning: violence

You’re sitting in the back of the cop car, leg bouncing while you wait for Steve to respond. 

You: SOS

You let out a breath of relief when Steve texts back:

Steve: what’s going on?

You: with the cops, not getting a good vibe. supposedly going to the station, but i don’t think we are.

Steve: what’s your location?

You immediately send him your location and you’re hoping to whatever almighty above that you’re not dying today.

__________________

Bucky’s phone is buzzing on his desk and he’s looking over some papers when he mindlessly answers it, “Hello?”

“We have a situation,” he hears Steve say in a very serious tone. 

Bucky immediately sits up straight on high alert, “Rumlow?”

“Maybe? Y/N texted me and told me she was being brought in by some officers, but she has a bad feeling. What do you want me to do?”

Bucky clenches his jaw and runs a hand over his beard, “Do you know where she is?”

“She sent me her location.”

“Good. Find her. Get her and bring her to one of the houses upstate. I’m gonna pack some stuff and head back,” he immediately grabs the papers he was looking over and stuffing them into files. He then took the files and tossed them into his desk drawer. 

“Buck, is this really a good idea?”

He pauses, thinking over his options, “At this point, I think I’m done playing nice with Rumlow, Steve. He’s messed with me, my business, my family, everyone I’ve ever cared about for too long. It’s time to show him who the real boss is.”

_______________

You’re not really surprised when you’re getting further and further away from the busy streets and population. Your palms are starting to get really sweaty and your heart is pounding in your ears. 

“We’re...not going to the station are we?” you manage to ask, but met with silence. 

Like a typical mob movie, you approach what looks like an abandoned building. When the car stops and the door flies open, you fight as much as you can to get away from these men, the uncertainty of your fate weighing down on you.

“What the fuck is going on?! Who are you guys?!”

“It’s in your best interest you stop fighting, sweetheart.” you look up to see a man in what looks like a knock off Dior suit. He’s tall, his hair slicked back and looks like bad news. 

“Who the fuck are you?” you spit out and the man smirks.

“Barnes never mentioned me, huh?” the man walks closer to you, one hand in his pocket, the other twirling a switchblade, “I’m Brock Rumlow, sweetheart, and I just wanna talk.”

“I don’t know where Bucky is! He broke up with me and I haven’t had contact with him since! So whatever macho bullshit is going on between the two of you has nothing to do with me!”

Rumlow chuckles with a shake of his head, “Oh, honey, as soon as you got involved with Barnes, it had everything to do with you. And since him and his family decided to run for the hills, you’re my next best bargaining chip.”

Using the handcuffs the officers carry, they handcuff your wrists behind your back and push you to follow Rumlow into the warehouse. 

The place was just as you expected. Dimly lit, a gross musty smell lingering in the air, and, of course, a single chair waiting in the middle.

“Jeez, dude, how many mob movies and shows have you watched? Really trying to be all big and tough and soprano-esque aren’t ya?” that comment earned you a slap to the face and you chuckle, looking up at the supposed cop that was to protect and serve citizens like you.

“My grandma hits better than you, my dude.”

SMACK!

“Damn, I can see why Barnes like you, sweetheart,” Rumlow states as he sharpens his switchblade, “You’ve got a fire to you, huh?”

“I’m also amazing with my hands. I can show you if you uncuff me,” you say with a sweet smile despite your cheek starting to swell from the blows you’ve taken. The cops snort and start to tie you to the chair with some rope. 

“So, sweetheart,” Brock runs his blade along your cheek and you wince when you feel the ridges slightly scrape along your skin, “let’s have a little fun, shall we?”

You have a mischievous look in your eyes when you smile and say, “Yes, let’s.” with that, you kick one of the cops that was tying your legs to the chair. The action causing Rumlow to stumble back and fall on his ass.

You took the opportunity to stomp onto his hand that reached for his blade, breaking the bones. He cried out in pain and the two dirty cops raced to you. Your hands were still cuffed behind your back, but that didn’t stop you from fighting. 

After Bucky had left you, you decided to take up self-defense classes, afraid something like this would happen. Looks like you were right. 

You give a roundhouse kick to one cop, knocking him out in an instant. The other cop grabbed for his gun, pulling it out, but only to have it kicked out of his hand. You then kick him in the gut making him fall back. That’s when you gave a blow to his face, hearing a crack. He didn’t move after this. 

You looked at Rumlow who clutched his hand in pain, anger in your eyes, “You messed with the wrong girl.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself, sweet cheeks.” your ears perk at the familiar voice, your heart pounding. 

You turn to see Bucky, Steve, and the rest of the gang filing into the warehouse armed and dangerous. 

Rumlow chuckled, standing up, “You’re not gonna kill us, Barnes. It’s not fair, you guys against us three? That’s bad form.”

Bucky scoffed, “Bad form? You wanna talk bad form, Rumlow? Bad form is coming onto my territory and shooting my businesses up. Bad form is threatening to kill my family. Bad form is kidnapping the woman I love in order to get to me. I’m done with your shit, Rumlow. There’s only one king of Brooklyn and that’s me.”

With a single shot ringing through the warehouse, Brock Rumlow fell dead with a bullet right between his eyes.

Handing his gun off to Steve, Bucky rushed over to you, cupping your face and examining the damage that’s been done, “Oh, sweet cheeks,” he said somberly.

You shook his head, “It’s not that bad. I mean, check out the other guys,” you nodded to the unconcious dirty cops on the ground. 

“Yeah, about that, what the fuck?? Since when did you learn how to do that shit?”

You shrugged, “I had to be prepared. I’m not some damsel in distress, Barnes.”

Bucky snorted and kissed your head, “No you’re not, sweetheart.”

Steve approached you, jingling the keys to the handcuffs. He unlocked them and you rubbed your wrists, “Don’t know why you called me, Y/N. Looks like you handled yourself just fine.”

“You can never be too sure, Steve.”

He gave you a hug and kiss on the cheek, “Glad to see you’re okay.” then he looks at Bucky, “Now what?”

Bucky scratches at his beard and looks at the three bodies around him, “Get rid of the bodies and any evidence we were here. I’m gonna take Y/N to the hospital-”

“No,” you say with a shake of your head.

He gives you a stern, “Baby, you-”

“I’m fine, Bucky. They’ll heal,” you wrap your arms around his thick bicep, “I just wanna go home with you.”

He sees the desperation in your eyes and he agrees. He sees that you missed him and he missed you too. So how could he deny the chance to be with you again?

“Alright, sweet cheeks. I’ll take you home.” he removes his arm from your embrace, instead protectively wrapping it around your shoulders, “You’re gonna be okay now, baby.” he presses a soft kiss to your head and you both walk back to his car.

Good Business Taglist (CLOSED): @cametobuyplums @sergeantrosabellaswan @asadmarveltrashbag​ @youcanhaveyourspacecowboy​ @reniescarlett​ @j-the-smol-otter @buckysknifecollection @lowkeysebby @rinthehufflepuff @134340-cm @snoot-snoot-toot @seabassali1328 @bluebellhairpin @emzy106 @viarogers @feelmyroarrrr @vxidnik @jasura @jade-cheshire3303 @yknott81 @baliebay19 @jessieray98 @fandommemporiumm @iluvsumbucky @bucksandroses @lecoindenox @ylva-stark @booktease21 @nerdy-bookworm-1998 @cheyenne222222 @momobaby227

[sheerfreesia007]

The Woman Next Door Pt. 9

Title: The Woman Next Door Pt. 9

Fandom: American Assassin

Pairing: Mitch Rapp x Reader

Author: @sheerfreesia007​​

Words: 2,186

Warnings: Attempted Rape, Fighting, Violence, Injuries to male and female, cursing, choking (a woman is held down at the back of her neck I don’t know if that would be considered choking but I’m putting it here anyway just in case!)

Permanent Tag List: @paintballkid711​, @fioccodineveautunnale​, @phoenixhalliwell​, @synystersilenceinblacknwhite​, @linkpk88​

Author Notes: Chapter 9 of the mitch fic for Mitchtober hosted by @writingsbychlo​. This one is has a fair bit of violence in it so be warned. Hurley makes another appearance and Mitch is the protector. Feedback is always welcomed.

Gif Credit: Pinterest

The rhythmic pounding of his fists against the punching bag created a quiet lull in his apartment. Mitch stood shirtless in front of the punching bag throwing jabs and punches. It was late in the night and he still didn’t feel as if he could sleep so he continued to the punch at the bag. Sweat slid down the side of his face and he swiped at it quickly. The apartment floor was quiet, no one else seemed to be awake at this time. 

It had only been two hours ago that Mitch had left her apartment saying that he couldn’t stay over because he had a briefing meeting early the next morning. And since he left her company something was keeping him up. He sighed softly as he jabbed at the bag again and watched it move slightly with the force he put behind his jab. As the bag came to a stand still he heard soft footsteps outside his door. He frowned and moved to the door peering through the peephole. He didn’t see anything and when he turned his head to the door he couldn’t hear any more movement outside. 

Rolling his shoulders he turned back to the punching bag with the intent to continue punching at it when he heard a muffled thud outside his apartment door. Frowning again he slid the chain lock off his apartment door and unlocked the master lock on the door and slid the door open quietly. He waited a moment before he heard a loud crash come from somewhere closer to the elevator. Slipping silently out of his apartment he stalked silently down the hallway looking for the source of the noise. 

Suddenly screaming sounded out in the empty hallway and Mitch ran towards the elevator still trying to find the source of the commotion. When he got closer to her apartment door his blood ran cold in his veins. Her front door was broken off its hinges, it hung haphazardly in the doorframe and Mitch quickly pushed it open to find her. 

As he quickly made his way down the hallway that ran the length of the apartment he heard loud grunting and struggling coming from her bedroom. He rushed towards the door and stood in the doorway feeling as if his body was autopilot. All he knew was to help her and get her to safety. Everything else was erased from his mind and his sole purpose and goal was to find her and get her to safety.

When his eyes focused on the scene in front of him he felt the air leave his lungs. She was laying on top of her bed on her stomach a larger man was hovering over her holding her down onto the bed by the back of her neck as his other hand tried to undo his jeans. SHe was bucking and struggling trying to get him off of her back but the man was using all of his weight against her. Mitch could see that the man had a split lip, large scratches around his eyes and there were some bruises blossoming on his jaw most likely all from her fighting back.

“I’m gonna make you pay for what you did bitch.” spat the man and it pulled Mitch from his silent surveillance of the situation.

“Hey!” he shouted loudly and the man jerked away from her quickly and she whipped her head over to look at him. Mitch watched as she scrambled over her bed quickly and over the side grabbing her cell phone. The man stood to his full height which was a few inches taller than Mitch and advanced with an ugly sneer on his face.

“Who the fuck are you?” asked the man darkly as he swung and Mitch dodged the punch easily before connecting his own fist with the man’s ribs. The two of them fought each other and exited her bedroom. As he was shoved out the room by the man Mitch could hear her speaking with the police on her cell phone telling them what was going on.

Mitch grunted as he was shoved to the floor by the man who continued to step up to him and kicked his leg out catching Mitch in the stomach. Standing quickly from the floor Mitch lunged forward and tackled the man to the floor. He quickly straddled the man and his fists flew at the man as he imagined what he would’ve done to her if he hadn’t come in time. The image of him holding her down onto the bed by her neck replayed in his head and rage boiled and burned inside of him. He was grunting loudly as his fists swung.

“Mitch.” came an awed voice but Mitch ignored it as he continued to punch the man below him. “Oh my god! Mitch stop!” came the voice again but this time it sounded worried and horrified. “Stop Mitch! Enough!”

The voice finally filtered into his head as slender hands wrapped around the wrist that he rose to slam down into the man’s face again. He whipped his head to see her staring at him with wide eyes. He immediately stopped trying to land another punch to the man and stood quickly wrapping her in his arms tightly. She wailed softly and wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his shoulder.

Mitch held her tightly against him and turned her so that her back was to the unconscious man on her floor. His eyes darted down to the man and saw that his face was a bloody mess and he knew instantly that he had gone overboard but he didn’t regret one bit. Not if it saved her from his evil doing. Pulling a little bit away from her his bloodied hands cupped the sides of her face and stared into her tearful eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly before his eyes darted around her face. She had a gash running through one of her eyebrows, a dark bruise forming on her cheekbone and her opposite eye was swelling slightly. “Fuck look at you.” he gasped out softly.

“I’ll be alright. He didn’t-” she began but then started to cry and Mitch gently pulled her back into his arms. Her hands came up around his shoulders and clutched him there as she sobbed into his chest. “You stopped him.” she cried loudly into his chest and Mitch nuzzled his face into her neck.

“I’ll alway protect you. Always.” he promised solemnly in the quiet room. Mitch could hear the loud wailing sirens of the police cars as they sped through the city streets. Mitch heard loud footsteps and his eyes darted up to see Hurley in the doorway.

“You okay?” Hurley asked as his eyes took in the scene around him.

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure he’s the rapist they’ve been looking for.” Mitch said firmly and Hurley nodded his head as he walked into the apartment not touching anything. Mitch held her tighter against him when he heard the hurried footsteps of the police as they burst into the apartment with their guns drawn. With a quick look around the room they lowered their guns and holstered them in their cases.

“We’re going to need to ask some questions.” one of the officers said looking at Mitch as he hugged her tighter.

“Of course. She’s injured, we need an EMT.” Mitch said easily as he slowly released her and she turned to look over at the officers. The grimace on their faces showed that her injuries had only gotten worse since Mitch had last seen them.

The EMT’s came into the apartment soon after the officers cleared the apartment and they took away the man who Mitch had beaten. He was still alive thankfully so Mitch wouldn’t have to answer why he had killed a man in her apartment. And luckily the man was in fact the serial rapist that the police had been looking for. He was identified by a custom tattoo on his lower calf and was quickly taken into custody on his way to the hospital. 

The officers stayed with Mitch as the EMT’s looked over her injuries talking to her about what happened. She refused to go to the hospital against the EMT’s advice and while Mitch didn’t agree with her he wasn’t going to push her to go to the hospital. Detectives and the crime scene investigators were the next to arrive and they collected her clothes she was wearing when he attacked her and any other evidence that they could off her body.

It was a long few hours of questioning and finally as the sun was slowly creeping up over the horizon and filling her apartment the detectives were satisfied with everything. Mitch stayed by her side and Hurley didn’t stray very far wanting to keep an eye on her. She was shivering as she stood next to him leaning back against the counter behind them. Mitch wrapped a loose arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side silently. She turned into his body and rested the side of her head against his naked chest.

“Alright we’ve got everything that we need to put him away. We might need you to testify against him once court starts getting going but that’s a ways away right now. He’s going away for a very long time so try to ease your mind as much as you can. If you need any help and guidance here’s a number for our victim’s advocate department they will be able to help you.” said the detective as he handed Mitch a card with a number on it. Mitch nodded his head in thanks and the detective left her apartment with a nod of his head.

“C’mon sweetheart, let’s go pack you a bag of your stuff.” Mitch said softly as he turned his head to her. She looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows and he saw the raw stitches that the EMT’s had given her for the gash through her eyebrow. “You’re not staying here. Your door is broken and we don’t know how long it’ll take to get it fixed. Plus you went through something horrible tonight. You shouldn’t be alone.” Mitch said as he slid his hands onto her shoulders and gazed down at her. “You’re going to stay with me until everything is fixed.”

“Good idea Rapp. I’ll let Irene know that you’re taking a few personal days.” Hurley said confidently as he nodded his head. Mitch nodded his head in thanks as Hurley left the apartment. Leaving her to her bedroom he left her standing in the hallway not knowing if she would want to enter her bedroom right now after what had happened. He opened her closet and pulled out her luggage that she kept stored in there before opening the two bags and quickly pulled clothes from her drawers and closet and piled them into the bags. When he was done he grabbed the two bags and met her in the hallway, she held a smaller bag in her hands and he could see that it held toiletries that she would need while she stayed with him. He nodded his head and let her walk ahead of him out of her apartment. Mitch managed to shut her door as much as he could without breaking it further. He knew he would have to talk to the landlord and find out how he could help protect her things as the door was fixed. But right now he wanted to get her into his own apartment and let her sleep, she had to be tired after everything that happened.

When they walked into his apartment he walked to his bedroom and set her bags down next to the bed. When he turned around he saw her standing in his doorway hugging her arms around her body looking around quietly. She looked so lost that Mitch felt the unwavering urge to protect her. He stepped over to her and wrapped his arms completely around her and pulled her in close. She buried her face in his chest once again and he could feel her body trembling. 

“C’mon you need to sleep.” he said softly against her hair.

“Can you lay with me? I don’t think I could sleep alone.” she whispered quietly. Mitch felt his heart clench in his chest, amazed that she still wanted to be around him after he almost killed a man for her. “Please.” she pleaded and he could hear the quiet fear in her tone.

“Of course,” he said quietly. Moving her to the bed he laid her down and then crawled in next to her pulling the blanket up around the two of them. She snuggled in close to his body and Mitch once again wrapped her up in his arms pulling her close. She pressed a soft kiss to his chest and the two of them fell quiet letting the stillness of his apartment lull them into a shallow sleep.

[kyber-kisses]

Hymn (Part 5)

Winchester Brothers x Sister!reader (Platonic)

Warnings: descriptions of violence and blood

Summary: Y/N Winchester has wrestled with demons ever since her mother died, but when her younger brothers lives are in danger it’s their souls she fights to save, because isn’t that what a big sister should do?  

A/n: Heyyy, I'm sorry this took so long to get out. Writers block is a bitch, anyways I hope you enjoy this chapter and please tell me what you thought!( Gif made by Gaywitchtwins)

It was a week later when you felt the first pull. A familiar feeling that started in the cradles of your boots and traveled up your legs, nudging you in a direction.

She wants me to keep moving, You thought. Even though Manah controlled you like a puppet there were instances she loosened her hold on you. You were still a person after all, and is she wanted you to work properly that meant giving you time to eat and sleep.She was mainly in control when you fought, but other than that you mostly had control over yourself.

Looking up from the already cooling cup of coffee wrapped in your hands, you let your pupils scan over the diner. It hadn’t taken long to find a place to stop when you had hit the outskirts of Kansas City. Outside the old sign of the diner swung slightly in the breeze, it’s paint mostly chipped away as rain ran off in sheets. The inside was as weathered as the sign too— torn vinyl on the seats, the air greasy in your lungs. You didn’t care though, it was these types of places that reminded you of a feeling of home. Playing tic tac toe on the paper place mats with Sam and Dean, dipping fries into milkshakes. Innocent things like that.

Everything you no longer were.

“You been on the road awhile?”

The voice seemly came out of nowhere to you, instantly snapping you out of your gaze as you looked up.

“I’m sorry, what?”

The waitress smiled. The kind of smile that was sincere and not sinister. “I said, have you been on the road awhile?”

“Just a week. But it’s flown by.” You shrugged lightly, fiddling with the handle of the mug in front of you.

“What’s got you travelin?” She asked. She had a deep voice, rich as a cup of melted butter, dark skin, topaz eyes.

“Family. Haven’t seen them in awhile.”

You watched as she attempted to read your facial expression before letting out a light laugh. “Have fun with that. Family can be complicated. Doesn’t look like your looking forward to it.”

“You could say that again.”

The waitress let out a light sigh, spinning the pen in her hand. “Well, can I get you anything else before you head out? Maybe some actual food and not just coffee?”

“I’m good, but thank you.” You smiled, fishing out a few bills and handing them to her before grabbing your backpack that had been sitting between your feet. The longer you stayed in one place the tighter the hold on you became. Better to leave now.

As you stepped out onto the gravel of the parking lot, rain soaking you instantly, you felt your hand move towards the charm hanging around your neck, wanting nothing more than to tug on it, but you stopped half way. Each attempt at trying to pull the damn thing off only left you with blistering skin on your palm.

Your feet were moving before your mind was and as you made your way down the side of the two lane road your mind went back to the last conversation you had with the demon who had power over you.

“Tell me, Do you enjoy games, Y/N?”

Game? Manah didnt do games. She was organized chaos. She had a specific order to things. Games weren’t her type.

“Games? What the hell are you talking about?” You questioned, hands clenching around the straps of your backpack as you stood on the deck of the old railroad yard the demon called her home. Any second now she would take her hold on you and like so many times before you would become an obedient attack dog.

“Just to spice things up, let’s say you and I have a little game.”

“What type of game?”

“Well, seeing as they are your family-“ the demon began, dragging a manicured nail across your cheek. “I’ thought I would have some fun with you.”

“Why?”

“I’m getting to that darling.” She sighed. “I’ll give you two weeks. Two weeks to find your brothers and end them. . .or ill send someone else to do it.”

Find them? When it came to stuff like this she always gave you somewhere to go. Now she was giving you nothing. Fear rippled through you as your hands white knuckled the straps. “Why?”

And then, like so many times before- Manahs hand came up to grip your face harshly. “Because they are your family and I know you. You are going to try and fight this. You’re defiant by nature.”

Everything inside you wanted to head butt the bitch right off the deck but you stood stoic, glaring her down. “Alright, you gonna tell me where I can find my dear brothers?”

“Not this time. I’ll give you. . . Let’s call it a homing device. Like a bird, you’ll know your direction. It’ll be up to you to find your way.”

“Like a map?”

“No, like instinct. No way to know how far. You just have to go.”

“That’s not fair! Two weeks? They could be anywhere in the US—“

A soft breeze shifted through her red hair, her gloved hands going back into the pockets of her black coat. “Then you best start moving. The clocks ticking.”

The weight of the weapons in your pack shifted as you forcefully tightened your straps, heading towards the road with a growl. It was only when you reached the steps of the deck did you pause and turn around. “Why are you playing this morbid game with me?”

Manah only smiled, red lips twisting wickedly. “Your a hunter aren’t you? This is what your good at.” She paused. “I’m going to break you Y/N, whether that be by you killing your brothers or watching someone else do it. It will happen.”

A shudder ran up your spine at the memory, the only thing to pull you out of it being the sound of a Bus tires hitting one of the deep puddles in the road before coming to halt at the bus-stop you found yourself at. The greyhound was driven by an older man singing a blues song in a gravelly voice as he opened the door. He stopped mid chorus to ask where you were headed.

“Lawrence.” You handed a over fistful of bills. He took a long look at you, and then at the backpack. “Now that’s a whole lot more than you need to give, young lady. Tell you what.” He sorted through the bills and change. “This much’ll take you as far as you need to go, and if you settle in back, I’ll turn the heat up for you.”

It was at times like these that you were reminded that there were still good people in the world. It wasn’t all demons and monsters. Manah may have raised you in chaos but you still knew good from bad. Once you had given him a sincere thank you bumped your way down the empty bus towards the back, collapsing tiredly into the back row of empty seats.

Your feet were pulling you towards home. . . And you had no idea what you would find.

*. *. *. *. *. *.

Dean let out a deep sigh as he flexed his hands against the steering wheel, peering out of the front window of the impala at the parking lot.

“Dean?”

“Why did I drive us here? Seriously, this has to be more stupid than going back to Lawrence to see Y/Ns grave.” Dean snapped. He wished he had never brought up that reoccurring nightmare, had never thought twice about you. It was like he liked drowning in grief.

“You okay?”

The older Winchester huffed, flexing his fingers again. Sometimes he hated you more than anyone else he knew. Hated you for being selfish, for running out that damn motel door, for not thinking about what it would be like for him and Sam if something happened to you, leaving them behind. Or worse, for thinking about it and not caring.

Instead of giving his brother an actual answer, Dean kicked open his door and stepped out into the mostly empty parking lot before taking a few steps and coming to a stop besides the other person with them.

“You okay, Mom?”

There was a pause before Mary slowly nodded, bringing her hand down from her mouth. “This is- this is where she-“

“Disappeared? Yeah.”

The place was practically the same. The neon sign of the motel flickered every few seconds, and the hum of several air conditioning units filled the night air along with crickets. Though his mothers eyes were fixed on the trees just beyond the asphalt, Dean turned his head to look back over his shoulder at the motel. The red paint on the door of room 16 was beginning to flake off with age, the lights off and quiet.

“It’s messed up.” Dean began. “Messed up that I’ve stopped here more than I have in Lawrence.”

“Why?”

Shoving his hands into his pockets, he looked down at his boots. “I think a small part of me always held out hope. That maybe I would show up here and she would come walking back out of those woods. . . God, I’m such a child.”

Mary let out a sigh, ignoring the sting of tears in the corners of her eyes. “Dean, she had you and Sam, she’d raised you traveling with the idea that she would always be there, and suddenly she wasn’t. You can’t blame yourself for having a little bit of hope.”

The hunter nodded solemnly, eyes still on his shoes. He felt like he was twelve years old again, standing on the stoop of the motel room with your gun in his hands, listening to you scream.

He quickly shook it off though. He had had decades to mourn your death, to mom it was still fresh- and she was holding herself together better than him.

“You and Sam never gave me a full explanation of what happened though-“ Mary started. She didn’t want to poke but it was her daughter who was gone and she wanted the story.

“Mom, I’m not sure Dean wants to-“

“It’s fine, Sam.” Dean sighed, shoving his hands back into his pockets. “What do you want to know?”

And that’s how Dean found himself launching into the fucking nightmare of a memory for what felt like the millionth time. It hurt more this time though because he could see that his mom was trying hard not to cry, and he had to remind himself that he hadn’t just lost a sister, she had lost a daughter. . . And now she was outliving her.

“The only thing dad came back with was her flannel. It was practically in ribbons and soaked with blood.” Dean breathed, his voice cracking at the next words. “I was twelve years old when I watched my sister run out that door to her death.” He jabbed a finger at the door behind them like it was the one to blame for you leaving.

There were still so many things running through his head as he suddenly spun and headed back towards the car, anger beginning to rise once more like earlier. What had killed you? Why didn't Dad put more effort into avenging you like he had with mom? Why didn't the Darkness bring you back along with her? Why did you have to die? 

Mary made a move to go after him but Sam clamped a hand down on her shoulder. “I wouldn’t try. Each time we've stopped here he only leaves angry and in a wreck. It’s like talking to a brick wall.”

She paused before nodding. “I think this place has taken its toll on all of us right now. How bout we go home?”

“Sounds good.”

As the remaining Winchesters made their way back to the car, Dean paused at his door, his hand tightly gripping the handle as he cast his gaze towards the woods just beyond reach, as if answers might lie in the shadows. But there was nothing.

Sliding into the drivers seat, Dean stuck the key into the ignition. Home. He just wanted to go home. No more trips into the past.

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