#and i was already feeling so sad about the shooting that happened recently and now i am back to square one of

[lomltrentarnold]

someone — jude bellingham  ₊˚ෆ

contents: 1.6k words, fem!reader (she/her), fwb!bellingham is down bad, lil angsty but happy ending, they like each other so much SIGH

🍓 hana’s note: hi my loves!! hope u enjoy <33 i actually had fun writing this, please tell me what u think 🫶 sorry if nothing makes sense LOL

📞 main masterlist!

Jude was sure that the muscle on his wrist had gotten stronger in the span of three days. He moved to check his phone again for the hundredth time that day. The whole situation feels like a thirteen year old boy waiting for his girlfriend to reply to his text. 

The only difference is that he’s twenty one years old, and his ‘girlfriend’ is not actually his girlfriend. 

His gloomy mood attracted his assistant who was off clicking the keyboard computer.

“Whose text are you waiting for?” they asked, immediately bringing him out of his little pity party.

His heart stuttered, “No one.” he replies, shaking his head, before tucking the phone away into his pocket.

A skeptical look was thrown, “Yeah, sure.” 

Jude took a minute before he relented, “She’s…someone.” he sighed, not really in the mood to throw up his gut to his assistant.

He ran his hands through his hair down to his face, frustrated.

They were sure this ‘someone’ was not just anyone, “The same ‘someone’ who had you giggling and kicking your feet last week?” his assistant smirked, noticing the little smile that Jude always wears every single time he stares at his phone.

But not in the last few days.

Recently, he has been more sad when he stares at his phone.

Heat trailed from the back of his neck to his cheeks, “I was not giggling and kicking my feet.” tummy twisting with nerves.

“Oh, you so were. She has you wrapped around her fingers, Bellingham.” the keyboard clicking stopped, as a teasing smirk was sent his way.

Jude’s heart made a backflip–oh she definitely does– “She’s just.. special. And I really really like her.” his cheeks heating up more as your pretty face fresh flashes in his mind. 

“So? Why don't you ask her out on a date?”

He sighed, “I would, but she’s ghosting me.”

“Someone ghosted THE Jude Bellingham? Damn, your ego must be hurt.” they laughed.

Jude took a deep breath, “It's not about my ego, I just–” he paused, “I thought we were going somewhere, I like her and I thought that she liked me but I guess...” his voice trailing out as sadness coats his words.

His assistant noticed how Jude’s head dropped in disappointment, immediately feeling bad for him, and an idea lightbulb immediately went off, “Go to her place then.”

“What?”

The assistant shrugged their shoulders, “Go to her place. Ask her out.”

He coughed out, “She doesn’t wanna see me.”

“Ask her face to face, get confirmation. If she really doesn’t wanna see you then, fine. But try at least! Fight for her!” their encouragement send Jude into a full dedicated state. Already having a full plan in his head.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Screen lights from the tv illuminated your already dark room with a movie playing in the background. You really should be asleep right now. But your mind was too cloudy with a certain, seriously attractive, very sweet and nice footballer. 

What did you think was gonna happen?

Getting into a friends-with-benefits with someone you harboured a big fat crush on was not the brightest idea. 

Jude is a bigshot footballer, everyones’ starboy, all he needs to do is smile and all girls fall to his feet (including you). The strategy of pushing him away was pretty solid, considering that he might not even notice that you haven’t been replying to his texts. 

He probably has hundreds of girls on his phone anyways.

Not that you care, he can do whatever he wants, he’s not your boyfriend. 

Not your boyfriend. 

Then why does it still bother you?

A sudden knock, broke you out of your spiralling session, shooting your heart rate up. Who knocks at 2 in the morning?

A buzz from your phone alerted you.

—

bellingham :)

I’m outside your apartment

I need to talk to you

—

You contemplated opening the door, what do you even say to him? Another knock. 

Another buzz.

—

bellingham :)

Please.

—

The door swung open and Jude was met with the sight of you, with tired eyes and a scowl on your face. You don't look too happy seeing him, and he doesn't blame you.

“Are you insane?! What do you want, Jude? It’s two in the morning!” you huffed out, taking his wrist and pulling him inside. You do not want to get a complaint from your old cranky neighbours. 

Both of your hands tingle the second it touches, fingers twitching as you hope the other doesn't notice. You move to pause the movie, hands gravitating towards the blanket on your couch before draping it around your shoulders. Trying to cover up your well-loved worn pyjamas.

You look like a mess. 

Jude’s hand sweats in his pockets, his heart was pounding after finally being in your presence. With your messy hair, pretty droopy eyes, paired with your profile being highlighted by the tv. His heart rate shoots up when your eyes meet his. 

You look really pretty.

Focus, Bellingham!

He awkwardly coughs, trying to cut the thick tension in the room, “You still watching that show?” he voiced out, hand gesturing to the tv behind you. 

It was a show recommendation from him. You had made fun of it at first, but then the plot was too good to be ignored, you needed to know how it ends. 

You shrugged your shoulders, “Yeah, I was curious.” voice small as your hands tightened around the blanket, bringing comfort to you.

A beat of awkward silence went on.

And Jude has had enough of it and decided to go for it, head first, no thoughts.

"Why are you ignoring me?" he finally said, saddened brown eyes met yours. You can feel your defence chip away the more you look at him.

You avert your eyes immediately, trying to formulate words, "I'm busy."

"That you ghosted me for three days straight?" he scoffed.

"Jude-"

"I don't think you understand how much you’re in my head." his voice shook, heart trembling in his chest, “I wake up and my first thought is to check if you have texted me back and you know how embarrassing it is to not see anything?"

You scoffed, “So this is about your ego?”

“No! I didn’t say that–“

Another scoff, "Jude don’t lie, you get messages every single day. Your notifications are always flooded! Don’t act like I’m suddenly special!” you rolled your eyes, lungs burning with anger.

His face contorted into confusion before turning into hurt, “Did I give you that impression? That I don't care because you’re not special?” Jude’s voice cracked, maybe it was your head playing tricks but you swore his eyes were glossy with tears. 

Anymore second looking at him than you might just break. 

“Jude-” you started.

“Because I do! I’ll buy you more flowers, pick up your favourite coffee, watch those reality shows that you love so much, we can have a picnic or even a fancy dinner!” he rambled, hands animated as his feet started to move towards you, eyes pleading. “I really want this to work. I want to be in your life, as your boyfriend.” 

The distance between two got so small that you can feel his warm breath hitting your lips, sending a shiver down your spine.

He smells like mint.

Did he chew one before he got here?

The call of your name hits your ears, his voice soft and sweet. You really like how he says your name. You miss it. You like him. You miss him.

“Please say something.” Jude whispered, eyes involuntarily dropping to your lips, cheeks warming under his gaze.

“I really really like you.” you softly said, nothing but a whisper but it sends just into cloud nine.

His eyes shined, mouth already opening to say something before you cut him off.

“But-“

His heart dropped.

“But?”

“Jude, you can literally have anyone you want in the world!” you raised your voice. Tears pricking at the edge of your eyes. Why does he have to be so complicated? Why won’t he understand that you will never be enough for him?

By now, he can have a general sense on why you ghosted him. You have been insecure and worried ever since this little relationship started. Jude partly understands it, his popularity is intense and the media is poking at every nook and cranny of his life. Judging at the littlest things he does.

But he also doesn’t understand because-

“But, I want you! Don’t want anyone else!” he exclaimed, big calloused hands move to the sides of your face, thumb softly running on your cheeks. “I want you.” he added, softly pressing a kiss at the apple of both of your cheeks.

A lovesick smile broke out on your face before you can even control yourself. “I want you too.”

Jude eyes twinkled at the sight. His heart elevates in the process. Was this a dream?

“Pinch me.” he snickered.

Your hands move around his waist to pinch his skin, “Dork.” you giggled, his smile getting wider at the sound.

A comforting silence blankets over you both. Smitten eyes staring at each other with heavy yearning. Hearts fully enamoured with the other.

A soft kiss was planted on your lips, tender and gentle as his hands moved to the back of your neck, pulling you closer. He can’t get enough of you.

Your whole body was on fire. It has been so long since you both got together.

“Jude-“

“Mhm.” he hummed, lips still pressing against yours. His hands wander to wrap around your waist. It feels like he wants to eat you whole.

He definitely does.

You carefully pull away, chuckling at the small whine that leaves him as he chases you again, “It’s late.” you affectionately scolded.

“Let’s go to sleep then.”

“Together?” you teased.

“Yes, please.”

Well, how can you say no to that?

reblog for a kiss <3

[talesofesther]

make it taste like love

Loki x Reader

Summary: You felt him before you even met him. And despite the pain he carried around, his soul was one of the most beautiful you'd ever seen.

A/N: A spur-of-the-moment idea that I simply couldn't ignore. I really hope you guys enjoy it, and yes I'm working on part two of my series with Loki as well. <3

Word count: 6k

Masterlist

The battle had left its mark on everyone, both physically and mentally. All the lives that were lost wouldn't be brought back. But everyone took solace in the fact that Thanos and his army were no longer a threat. And now, it was a time for rebuilding.

Wakanda's grassland was a battlefield. Bodies of both friend and foe lay scattered on the ground. The mourning loomed heavy in the air, you could feel it weighing down on your chest, your throat, and lungs. It was suffocating, prickling into your skin like needles. Yet you still walked, your boots crushing the grass underneath while you avoided stepping on stretched arms and legs, you needed to make sure no one else remained left behind.

A few feet away, the mad titan who once threatened the entire universe lay lifeless on the ground, his head disconnected from his body. For him, you felt no pity.

King T'Challa was both happy and sad to see you and the others leave. Happy, because it meant the end of a war; sad, because of having to say farewell to dear friends. But you, Steve, Natasha, and Banner were needed back in town, back at the Avengers compound; to welcome Tony back on earth, and because Thanos' attack had reverberated in many other places. It seemed like the Avengers were back in the game.

─── ·❆· ───

This morning was a gloomy one. Grey skies peeked behind your curtains in the early hours of the day, maybe it would rain soon. It's been two weeks since the battle, and you were glad to see that most people were recovering; each in their own way, but recovering nonetheless.

You were already up when the clock hit 7:30 AM, holding a warm cup of coffee between your hands, and staring out into the compound's driveway and past the treeline through the big windows of the kitchen. Today would be the day that Thor came back, he'd been helping with the settling of his people in New Asgard until now, but you've heard about him not wanting to be king anymore. You were happy for him, you never did think that a ruler's life suited him anyway—and you missed your friend.

"He gets one chance, Rogers. One chance and that's it." Tony's voice suddenly caught your attention as he stepped into the kitchen, you turned your back to the window so you could watch as your resident Iron Man poured himself a cup of coffee without looking at his mug. Steve was right beside him, his hands on his hips as he sighed quietly, already all too used to Tony's moods.

"Yes, one chance, he proved himself enough by helping us fight against Thanos, I suppose we owe him the benefit of the doubt," Steve agreed, still holding his voice calm.

With a smirk on your lips, you approached your teammates. "What's going on, guys?" You leaned on the kitchen island, taking a sip of your coffee.

Tony ran his tongue over his bottom lip, his expression less than pleased as he took a sip of his own coffee before saying; "point break is bringing his beloved brother to our home." He shrugged, and said in a quieter tone, "Says he changed or something."

"Loki will be staying with us?" You raised an eyebrow. The attack on New York happened before you joined the team, but you were familiar enough with it to be wary of Thor's brother, even if Thor did speak more nicely of him recently. Still, you had never actually met Loki to form your own opinion.

"That's… to be decided," Tony grumbled, shooting a glance toward Steve. "But yes, pretty much. And, by the way, Strange wasn't happy about having reindeer games back in the city either."

"Wow, you guys finally agree on something," you snickered.

Tony mouthed a 'don't' to you, before Steve said; "Strange knows we'll handle it if anything happens, but Thor vouches for him, so…"

You gave Steve a soft smile, and as much as you understood Tony's wariness, you agreed with the Captain. Loki didn't have the best of pasts with the City, but his help in the recent battle was one of many game-changers. He deserved a second chance.

Strangely enough, you found yourself excited to meet the God of Mischief. It was in your nature to analyze people, watch them from afar, and learn about the things they'd rather not say out loud. And someone like Loki, who had both once tried to take over your planet and now helped in saving it, was bound to raise some curiosity.

No more than an hour passed before you heard Thor's strong voice all the way from the living room. A small smile instantly came to your lips as you discarded your book, got up from the couch, and put on your slippers, rushing to the main doors to greet him.

Before you could turn the last corner, however, you came to an abrupt halt. Your breath got caught up in your throat and you had to lean back on the wall for support. Clutching the fabric of your shirt right above your heart, you were glad that this particular hallway was currently empty.

You could hear Thor's voice just around the corner, Tony was there too, but their words were faint and far away. Your vision was suddenly a little blurry, and underneath your palm you could feel your heart beating frantically.

See, this was nothing that hadn't happened before, after all, you are an empath. But a feeling this heavy rarely comes unannounced, unwanted. It briefly reminded you of when you first discovered your power, when you had no control and could pick up on pain, anger, joy, and pleasure that were not your own even if you didn't want to. Yet now, after years of living with it, you had learned to dose your perception of the feelings around you; now, when you weren't willingly focusing, other people's emotions felt more like a gentle whisper, a gush of chilly wind on your skin—something you were able to ignore if you wanted to.

But this overwhelming sadness; this emptiness, and loss, and pain; it came to you with such force that you were not able to block out. Seconds felt like hours, until the surprise of the new feeling passed and you took back control. Whispers of it remained, lurking in your stomach and in the back of your throat, but with a bit of extra focus, you were able to handle it.

And once your mind was finally clear again, it hit you. Who did you catch these feelings from?

You took a step around the corner cautiously, hands buried in your pockets as your eyes roamed your surroundings. There was no one around besides Tony, Thor, and Loki.

You knew it right away. You were familiar with the emotions radiating from Tony and Thor; but him, the raven-haired trickster, he was new, and if you didn't feel empathy for him before, you did now.

Loki held himself immaculately, a straight posture and a serene expression on his face. You had no idea how he did it, how he was able to hold all of those feelings in and still look so well put together; because one glance into his soul and you already felt like crying.

There was a light drizzle falling outside, maybe that's why Loki's black blazer seemed to be shining under the bright lights of the entrance hall. His eyes—bright and ocean-green—were settled on you; the realization got you feeling hyperaware of each movement you made. Even his gaze was heavy.

Thor's booming voice calling your name captured your attention then, he had a big smile on his face and before you knew it he already had your feet off the floor as he held you in a hug.

You laughed against his shoulder, hugging him back just as tight and telling him all about how much you missed him. Still, when you let go, your eyes found Loki's again, he hadn't stopped looking at you once.

─── ·❆· ───

The opinions about Loki's presence in the compound were mixed, but most of your teammates seemed fine with it; truth be told, no one paid much attention to him. As you'd expected, Loki's room was on your floor, because that's where Thor stayed too; as well as Tony, Natasha, and Yelena.

It's been a few days since his arrival, yet you haven't had the opportunity to properly speak with him, alone. But you've been feeling him a lot. Whether it was you subconsciously focusing on him more, or something else, it seemed like your body was more in tune and connected with his than you've ever been with anyone else. You picked up on a few of his emotions even if you weren't actively trying to; you felt his bouts of uneasiness when someone would stare at him for too long, you felt his gentle serenity whenever he'd sit near the windows to read a book, you felt his sparks of joy when people greeted him with a good morning or asked if he'd want coffee; but most of all, you still felt that lingering sadness that followed him everywhere he went, a weight he seemed to be all too used to having around.

In some ways, you felt as if you were invading his privacy, and that bothered you. During the day you tried to keep your mind as busy as you could to keep yourself from feeling him; in the late hours of the night though, when you were trying to sleep, there wasn't much you could do.

You have been tossing and turning in bed for probably about two hours now, drifting in and out of sleep. The crescent moon just outside your window seemed to be taunting you, amused with your misfortune. You scoffed as you glared at the natural satellite—great, now you were arguing with the cosmos.

Loki was having a nightmare. You could tell by the rapid beating of his heart and the cold sweat running down his forehead—your abilities went way beyond simply feeling other people's emotions, but sometimes you wished they wouldn't. It's not the first time that you've felt Loki's restless sleep in the short time he's been here. Your heart ached for him; it got you wanting to alleviate his pain.

But you couldn't do that, so you got up from your bed, put on your fluffy slippers, and made a beeline for the kitchen. The air outside was chilly, biting at your warm skin and making you shiver. At this hour of the night, the compound was completely dark and quiet, a big contrast to how it was when the sun was up. You asked Friday to turn on one of the lights in the kitchen, giving the space a dim-lit look as the single light bled into the adjacent living room.

You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, humming the lyrics of the song stuck in your head as you reached for the upper cabinet to grab a mug so you could make yourself some tea. When you turned around again though, a gasp escaped your mouth and you nearly dropped the mug you were holding. You cursed quietly under your breath, placing a hand over your heart; if you weren't fully awake before, you sure were now. "You scared me," you muttered, trying a small smile.

The reason for your lack of sleep stood before you, with dark green slippers that matched his button-up pajama shirt, and his hair the messier you've ever seen it be. "Sorry, it was not my intention," Loki smirked back at you.

It hit you that this was finally the first time you were alone with him, and you'd been caught off guard. You tapped your mug, opening your lips but no words came out. Loki's eyes remained on you, unwavering, yet his gaze was so… soft, gentle even; his eyebrows weren't creased and he patiently waited for you with his hands in the pockets of his checkered pajama pants. He didn't look like the god you usually saw roaming the halls during the day.

"It's alright. I was just making tea," you said finally, gesturing to your mug, "would you like me to make one for you too?"

Loki's surprise at your offer was so great that you felt it in your bones. What was he expecting you to do?

His lips parted only slightly and he straightened his posture before saying; "I would- yes, I would like that."

You couldn't help the full smile that came to your lips and crinkled the side of your eyes, "great, sit down, it'll be ready in just a moment."

The warm mug between your hands warmed up your skin. It felt nice, sitting like this with Loki; in a quiet kitchen with only you and him, and just the lonely light to your left softly highlighting his features in front of you. It was a peaceful silence, and you couldn't help but check if he felt it too.

The rhythm of his heart was calm, his soul felt light and at ease; not completely, but the most you've ever felt from him.

"Why are you here?" His sultry voice snapped you back to reality.

"Uh- I'm sorry?" You frowned.

"Why are you here, if I may ask?" Loki tilted his head amusedly, his fingers tracing the brim of his mug. "Thor mentioned you had… abilities, but he never specified what they are."

Now it was your turn to be surprised by his curiosity for you. "Well, to put it simply, I'm an empath," you told him.

Loki blinked, once, twice, at your response. He looked at you for a moment before inquiring further; "and to put it completely?"

You smirked then, folding your arms over the table. "I can feel people's emotions, if I want to; their anger, happiness, hesitation, fear. But I can also feel their heartbeats, the blood cursing through their bodies. I can tell when they're lying or telling the truth, if they're tired or hurt. And sometimes, I can influence those emotions," you paused, hesitating for a beat, "bring fear, or… take away pain."

Loki grew tense after learning of what you could do. To be fair, most people did at first, you were used to it. Be he felt different, his heartbeat sped up and stayed that way. He'd put his guard up, and it brought a pang of hurt to your chest.

"Are you always feeling everything then?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Gods, no," you breathed, "at first I did, and it was awful. But with time, I learned to control it." You tried smiling at him, but his eyes were downcast, focused on his mug.

You bit your lower lip in nervousness. Looking past Loki and out the window, you could see the first signs of the sunrise peeking over the horizon, dark skies turning a soft lilac and blue; you'd been here longer than you realized.

When Loki glanced up at you again, his bright eyes still held sparks of that same softness from earlier. He pursed his lips in a smile; "thank you for the tea." And with that, he got up and left, leaving you in the company of the first birds who always sang in the mornings.

─── ·❆· ───

You made Loki nervous. It wasn't a bad kind of nervous, it was the kind that sped up his heart and made his cold hands feel clammy.

Out of everyone in the compound, you were the kindest. You'd always shoot him a smile whenever you'd pass by each other in the hallways; you'd always save a seat for him at the table; you always respected his silence whenever you came into the library and caught him reading his book, saying a quiet hello and nothing more, just sitting on one of the armchairs with your own book and allowing him to enjoy his moment, and more recently, your presence too.

When he'd finally learned of your abilities, he got apprehensive, worried even; that you'd pick up on whatever it was that he felt when he was near you, and it would drive you away.

So far, it hasn't happened yet.

The sun was out today, and with it, so was everyone else. In the spacious backyard of the compound, Steve was in charge of the barbecue, and Tony was in charge of the drinks. Natasha had sunglasses covering her eyes while she and Clint bickered over a game of cards; Yelena was sitting beside her sister at the lunch table, however, she seemed to be on Clint's side of the argument. Thor and Banner were laughing together as they made fun of Steve's cooking skills, who tried to defend himself by saying he wasn't actually done yet. Tony looked like he was trying to convince Bucky to drink a dubious-looking beverage, the latter didn't seem too keen on it.

And Loki watched them from afar, from the living room window of his floor. Thor had asked that he join them downstairs, saying something about how he should start trying to fit in and mingle, instead of just existing in the others' presence. Making friends wasn't Loki's forte; as much as he'd fight not to admit it, he was still working up the courage.

With a long sigh, Loki turned around and made his way to the place where he'd been spending most of his free time.

The compound's library was quite huge. One of the few rooms in the whole facility that had warm colors painting the walls and lacked the modern look; tall wooden shelves held thousands of books, a soft beige carpet covered the floor, and there were armchairs and sofas scattered in corners and in-between shelves creating comfortable, isolated nooks for reading. Loki's favorite spot was a worn armchair that stood near one of the big windows, it was surrounded by books that most people didn't read anymore, and the window itself overlooked the treeline in which the sun hid behind at the end of every day; sometimes as he sat there to read, it reminded him of his room back in Asgard.

Loki walked brushing his fingers over the spine of the old books, watching as dust particles danced in the sunlight. But as he rounded the shelf that led to his spot, he abruptly stopped in his tracks, feet glued to the carpet.

You sat cross-legged on the worn armchair, with a thick book lying in your lap that held all of your attention; the sun was shining right behind you, creating a halo above your head and bathing the strands of your hair in golden. You looked like something out of his favorite tale, more enchanting than all of the Midgard poetry books he's ever read.

It seemed like you two were making a habit of bumping into each other unexpectedly.

Loki gulped, squaring his shoulders. A beat passed, and then two, until you finally noticed him from the corner of your eyes. You looked up at him with your eyebrows softly raised in surprise, a gentle smile lifted the sides of your mouth; "Loki, hi."

"Hello," Loki greeted you slowly, his eyes shifting from the book in your lap to your eyes, "shouldn't you be out with the others, enjoying the sun?"

"Should I?" You narrowed your eyes, lazily closing your book and getting up from the armchair. "Shouldn't you?" You asked then, smirking as you raised an eyebrow and took a step towards him.

Loki's heart stumbled inside his chest, he breathed out a laugh. "I'm not big on hangouts."

You hummed, burying your hands in the pockets of your jeans. "Why is that?"

For a moment, Loki dwelled on whether to be honest or come up with an easy lie. But you were looking up at him with such delicacy, such attention, not a trace of hatred or judgment in your warm eyes. It almost looked as if you cared... about him.

Loki breathed in sharply through his nose, the words rolled off his tongue on their own; "I doubt many of your friends would enjoy my presence there."

You blinked up at him, lips parting before you told him quietly; "I would."

There was a distant burning behind Loki's eyes, his mouth felt dry. No one had ever rendered him completely speechless before, yet now, you had done just that. With his silence, you avoided his eyes and ran your tongue over your bottom lip in a motion that he couldn't help but follow.

"And..." You continued, voice sweet as honey, traveling between the bookshelves in the secluded library, "We'll never know if we don't try, right?"

The way you referred to you and him as 'we' got a foreign feeling blossoming inside Loki's chest, all warm and tingly. When you offered him your hand, so you could guide him downstairs to meet the others, he took it.

─── ·❆· ───

After a full week of taking care of the whole city, Saturday nights were a time for having fun and relaxing; aka movie nights with the team. Everyone sat together in the main living room of the compound, Tony had labeled it 'mandatory bonding day'. The room itself was pretty spacious, dimly lit, with two big comfortable couches and a TV that almost covered the whole wall, and a small kitchen right beside it for easy snacks and drinks.

"Right, I'm thinking... Terminator." Tony suggested as he came from the kitchen with an extra large bowl of popcorn in his arms.

"We saw that one already," Steve complained as he fumbled with the remote.

"There are multiple ones," Tony said, smugly, as he plopped himself on the couch and threw popcorn in his mouth.

Thor, who sat beside you, suddenly perked up with a giddy smile on his face; "oh I've always enjoyed that one who has the girl with the long, magic hair." The god gestured to his own hair.

Tony gaped at him, his fingers holding the popcorn were frozen midair. "Tangled?" He exclaimed then, eyebrows raised, "You wanna watch Tangled? in my house?"

You fought to hide a smile. "Technically it's our house," you quipped, after all, you were to blame for Thor's love for the Disney movie.

"Why don't we just watch both? The night is still young," Yelena finally suggested from her spot by the corner of the couch.

As they continued bickering, your eyes finally caught sight of the one you'd been waiting for.

Loki walked into the living room quietly, his socked feet barely making any noise on the expensive flooring. His gaze found yours before he saw anything else in the room, and a gentle, shy smile appeared on his lips.

You'd grown very close, very fast. Loki had started seeking your presence more and more each passing day; during the mornings he'd wait for you with an extra cup of coffee in hand, during the missions it was already routine that you two were a pair, and during the night you never parted ways without him planting a kiss on your forehead first.

Never in your life had you met someone quite like him, who carried such a bruised heart and still managed to be so loving. It made you wonder if anyone had ever bothered to see how beautiful his soul was, for you had fallen in love with it before you even touched his skin.

You gently patted the vacant seat on your left side, lifting the thin blanket covering your legs so Loki could sit down, and once he did you draped part of it over his legs as well.

"What's today's punishment?" Loki smirked, making himself comfortable beside you. His shoulder flush with yours.

"Stop it, movie nights are nice. I know you secretly enjoy them too," you chuckled, bumping his knee with yours. His proximity raised goosebumps all over your skin, and if you weren't so focused on your own feelings, you would've felt how much Loki's heart was racing as well.

"I only come to these because you do too," Loki mumbled, his eyes focused on the TV and a frown appearing on his eyebrows as the first scenes from Tangled played on the screen.

Your breath caught on your throat. He had said it so casually, so easily. You wondered if he had even realized the weight of his own words. "Right," you whispered, a little breathless.

It didn't take long for the only light in the room to be the one coming from the TV. When Tangled hit the 45-minute mark, Tony was already snoring and Thor had finished two bowls of popcorn. You, however, were wide awake and fully aware of Loki's arm resting on the back of the couch. What a cliche move, you thought to yourself, your cheeks burning hot and biting back a smile.

Loki's face as he watched the movie was nothing short of comical, one would think he was watching a period drama; his lips hovering ever so slightly before he'd scoff at a musical scene, his eyes softening as the romance between Rapunzel and Flynn blossomed, the way he mindlessly played with the ends of your hair. You watched him more than you watched the movie, and you didn't miss the way he froze and gulped when you finally rested your head on his shoulder.

─── ·❆· ───

The day had started out fine; a cold yet sunny morning, your fingers brushing Loki's when he handed you your cup of coffee, no eminent trouble in the city, everything was normal and fine; until it took a turn for the worse.

You didn't hear the fight, you didn't know exactly what caused it, but you felt it immediately. Anger, hurt, and pain were suddenly heavy in the air even through the closed door of your bedroom. As soon as a shiver ran up and down your spine you got up and all but ran outside to chase the somber feeling.

The elevator doors of your floor weren't even fully open yet when Loki busted his way through them, Thor hot on his heels.

"I knew it was a mistake coming here," Loki snapped, his steps fast as he put as much distance between himself and Thor as he could, nearly running straight into you in the process.

"You know what, brother," Thor began, he had stopped walking, standing in the middle of the living room, "Maybe it really was a mistake to bring you here, you don't care about anyone but yourself, it's almost as if you enjoy hurting people, you can't help it. It'll always be like this, that's why you're better off on your own." Thor wasn't shouting, but his words rang loudly in the room; his chest heaving when he stopped speaking.

You had held your breath the entire time, gripping the back of a kitchen stool until your knuckles turned white. Thor was angry, you could feel it even without being near him, but he didn't mean what he had said, not entirely. Thor's emotions were a passing wind on your skin though, for who you really felt, stood just a few feet behind you.

Loki had his back turned to his brother when he spoke, and he didn't turn around after. Even without looking at him, you could feel the way he trembled, unsteady hands closed into tight fists to mask his hurt; he gulped back a sob, and kept on walking to his bedroom without a word.

You could choke with the amount of pain radiating off of Loki; heavy, sickening, all-encompassing pain that you felt so vividly in your skin and bones. You only shot Thor an angry glance and muttered; "Damnit Thor," before turning around hastily. You thought you heard Thor calling after you, but you decided to ignore him, your priorities already set.

You ran after Loki, catching up just before his door slammed shut. Taking a deep breath, you walked into his bedroom and softly closed the door behind you with a click.

You'd never actually been in Loki's room before, so you took a single moment to glance around. The room itself was a little bare, with only the necessities such as a double bed, a dresser, a desk, a small bookshelf, and the door that led to his bathroom. You made a mental note to gift him something to liven up his space; maybe a plant.

Loki had his back turned to you still, both his hands resting on his waist as his head hung low. But you knew he knew it was you there with him, by the simple fact that he was allowing you to stay.

The silence was a heavy one, packed with the electricity of two souls tightly holding onto each other. Loki was trying so hard to keep all his pain in control, his shoulders shaking with each breath he took; but you could feel it as if it was your own.

"Loki," you said his name in nothing but breath, testing the waters. You took half a step toward him as you fidgeted with your hands.

He didn't answer. You weren't expecting him to.

You pursed your lips before saying; "he didn't mean it," your voice was choked and took effort to come out, the back of your eyes already burning, "what Thor said. He- he didn't mean it."

A few beats passed, and then; "doesn't matter if he did." Loki's words cracked in the middle, it was the most broken you'd ever heard him sound. "He's right."

"He's not," you told him in the same heartbeat, not a tint of hesitation in your tone.

Loki turned around, his gaze finally finding yours and there were tears pooling at the bottom lid of his bright eyes. "Yes, he is," he took a single big step toward you, nearly closing the distance between you and him. Loki's lips trembled as he struggled to keep talking; "and why is it that you care? What's in it for you?"

He was hurt, and he was frustrated, and he was angry; you knew that. Still, you couldn't help but be taken aback by his question. What could he even mean by that? Did he really believe that all this time that you'd been dancing around each other's feelings, it wasn't real?

"Loki, I-" you stuttered, not knowing how to say it without baring your heart in the process. Your hesitation got Loki avoiding his eyes from yours, and you forced yourself to go on. "There's nothing 'in it for me' I just... care about you."

Still waiting for the other shoe to drop, Loki softly shook his head, scoffing. His tears were a blink away from spilling, he felt as if barbed wire was wrapped around his throat, and his heart threatened to jump from his chest and straight into your hands.

It scared him. How easily you could make his walls crumble like paper in the rain. He flinched slightly when he felt the ghost of your touch on his cheek, blinking multiple times when your thumb brushed away a single tear rolling down his cheek. You touched him as if he were porcelain, and yet it still broke him.

"Is it that hard to believe that you're important to me?" You asked then, voice nothing but a whisper in the short space separating your bodies. With your hand still holding his cheek, you forced his eyes back on yours. "You have a good heart, Loki. I just wish you could see it the way I do. I wish everyone could see it."

The crooked smile he gave you nearly made your own tears fall. "You don't know what you're talking about, you don't know what I've done," he told you quietly, more than anything, he sounded utterly defeated.

"But I do know," your free hand found one of his then, and you tangled your fingers together loosely, "I might not have been with the Avengers when you attacked New York, but I was still in New York. And I still mean it, you could tell me every single bad thing you've ever done and I'd still tell you how good you are, because I see it. Every single day, Loki. I feel you every single day, and I can feel all this-" Your words caught in your throat and you tasted your tears on your lips. "-All this pain that you carry around and you still choose to be good."

Too many emotions swam behind his eyes for you to put a finger in any of them. But tears were running freely down Loki's cheeks now, pooling against your hand resting on his cheek.

"What did you-" he tried, gasping for air as if he was underwater. This was foreign territory. You had a place in his heart no one else could ever have, he realized, and his heart was beating faster than his mind knew what to do with. "You've been prying into my emotions without me knowing?" He sounded more desperate than annoyed.

"I didn't want to," You explained quickly, "I- I never meant to, but for some reason, I can't block you out." Shrugging weakly, you slowly dropped the hand resting on his cheek, missing the way he glanced down in search of your warmth. "I tried. I really tried."

There was a vulnerability in Loki's eyes you'd never seen before. He looked at you as if he'd just realized what love is. You wondered if you mimicked the same gaze—you sure felt it.

Loki shuffled in his stance. His hand, still holding onto yours, tightened its grip. "I'm-" He avoided your eyes, looking somewhere past your shoulder, "I'm sorry you had to feel all that."

You softened at his words, shaking your head and taking another step forward until your sneakers bumped his shoes. "Wasn't your fault," you whispered.

Loki gulped back a sob after you spoke, and that was the last straw for you to let go of his hand and pull his body to yours in an embrace.

He melted into you.

Loki's fingers dug into the fabric of your shirt and he buried his head against your shoulder—you soon felt it becoming damp, yet you only hugged him tighter. With the desperation he was holding you with, you wondered when was the last time someone had held him.

The soft sobs escaping him were muffled against you. And you couldn't help but stroke his back, the tips of your fingers burying into his very soul. "I'm sorry you had to go through all of this alone." You spoke near his ear, feeling the goosebumps that raised on his skin. "You never deserved it," you promised.

You weren't sure how much time passed, you stayed there for as long as Loki needed you to. When he eventually pulled away, he didn't go far, his hands kept holding your body close to him as if he was afraid you'd leave if he let go.

His bright eyes didn't hold a storm anymore, they were more like a calm sea. A soft frown etched itself into his eyebrows, "did you… take away my pain?"

You chuckled quietly, "No, I can't take away people's emotions." You lifted a hand until your fingertips could brush the skin on his forehead, "But I can make them lighter." You traced an invisible line over his eyebrow and until you reached his cheekbone, "Make the weight just a little bit easier to carry."

Loki leaned into your touch, almost closing his eyes. His hands that rested on your back traced your spine and pulled you closer. "Darling, you've been making it easier ever since the first day I met you."

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

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[irisintheafterglow]

the first time you tell opla!zoro that you love him, you're not sober either. (part one here!)

"i just-i just don't know what to do," you sniffle, another wave of emotions leaking through your tired eyes and onto your tear-stained shirt. "i'm so in love with him it makes me physically ill, nami."

"mhmm, i can tell," she replies absentmindedly, taking another sip from her drink in the musty light of the bar.

"nami," you plead, wasted out of your mind with your cheek pressed against the dirty table.

"sweetheart," she replies with the same melodrama, unable to hide the amusement in her voice.

"i'm so sad." your voice breaks on the last word and you make a loud hiccup-like noise that has the other guests of the bar eyeing you warily. you couldn't guess how long it'd been since you dragged nami from her hammock to go drink your sorrows away. to her credit, she stayed with you until her patience was thinner than a paper cut.

"i know you are," she says slowly after you'd gone over the same topic about four times in the last five minutes. "look, i feel like you should just tell him. he already told you his feelings."

"see, but that's the thing." she shoots you a skeptical look and you sigh back at her. "what if he's lying? or if he didn't actually mean it?"

"why would he lie about something so significant as that?"

"i don't know, maybe he thought i was someone else-"

"from what you've very thoroughly informed me, he expressed his feelings for you, and only you," she reminds you, tilting her glass toward you for emphasis. her gaze flicks up behind you and she raises her eyebrows briefly, like whoever was approaching was another tool for her entertainment. "tell him. it's now or never."

"what the hell do you-"

"you're out of your mind if you think it's okay to get them drunk before a mission." his voice immediately sobers you, white-hot shame coursing through your veins as you sit up and try to make yourself look presentable. thankfully, he's glaring daggers into nami, who merely shrugs and offers something about being here for a good time, not a long time. "c'mon, i'm taking you back to the ship," he mutters, lifting you from your seat and letting you grab his unfairly strong bicep for stability.

"why'd you come get me?" your steps wobble slightly on the cobblestone, but zoro's determination to keep you upright is unwavering. "i could have gone home with nami."

"i got worried about where you were. thought something happened."

"nothing happened except alcohol and feelings," you drawl absentmindedly, the airy feeling in your mind becoming fuzzier the longer you're with him.

"ah, two of my favorite things."

"liar, you only talk about your feelings when you're drunk." blinking slowly to recenter yourself, you cut him off before he can counter your accusation. "like, the other night. when you told me you loved me." the words slip out unplanned and his body becomes deathly still next to you, his arm so tense you could mine it with a pickaxe.

"i said...what?"

"that you loved me and that it was a secret," you say plainly, glancing at him to find his face a nearly imperceptible shade of pink. "what's with the blush?"

"it's nothing," he says quietly. sober you would have left the conversation at that, respecting his need for privacy and security about his private feelings.

drunk you, however, has no such manners.

"look at you, all red and shit." his ears become an even deeper shade of pink and you can't help laughing at his poor attempt to hide his embarrassment. "you wouldn't be so flushed if it was actually nothing, so what is it?"

"it's nothing," he restates. "it doesn't matter."

"it matters to me. you matter to me." his face feels like it's been set on fire and every place your body is making contact with his feels like an electric current. did you have any idea what your words were doing to him, he wondered. sure, what you said made his brain go foggy like the island coastline in the morning, but what you made him feel was so much worse. you made him feel so lovesick, it pained him.

"the sentiment is reciprocated," he murmurs low enough that you can barely hear him. even while you're dancing around in the streetlights, you've never looked so beautiful to him.

"can i tell you a secret?" he swallows thickly, unsure of how to continue navigating this situation. he settles for nodding, every movement restrained to keep from kissing you until the only oxygen in his lungs has gone through yours first. "you can't tell anyone, though."

"i'm a great secret keeper."

"no, you're not," you reply instantly and his mouth gapes indignantly. "you told me your biggest secret and you don't even remember it."

"fine. i won't tell anyone what you tell me, then. i don't know about anyone else," he promises. after what seemed like an eternity, he finally helps you into your hammock, taking great care to make sure you don't fall out. "if i do tell someone, you can kick me in the balls."

"enticing offer," you laugh and his mouth quirks in a half-smile that you only saw once in a blue moon.

"so, the secret?"

"oh, right," you whisper sleepily. "the secret is that i love you too. i love you so much that i want to throw up."

"i think that might be the alcohol, doll," he murmurs, his fingers gently brushing your cheek. "sober you and sober me need to have a long talk in the morning."

"we said that last time but didn't do shit about it."

"well, i think it's time i did something about it." your eyebrows furrow, completely forgetting anything you'd just talked about. it's okay, he figures. he'll show you how much you mean to him when you're both ready.

"did something about what?"

"how much i love you, too."

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[w3bgrl]

can you be stealthy, agent seo?

synopsis: chan and juyeon endure a mundane schedule by talking some things out before heading home to meet with the rest of the boys. there, the members grow hungry during the early hours of the morning and changbin steps up to save the day, shockingly accompanied by none other than juyeon to the convenience store.

date: early september 2019

era: pre-levanter

word count: 3.1k

featuring: kang juyeon, bang chan, seo changbin, all other members mentioned

warnings: minimal swearing, descriptions of ot10 and former member woojin, reference to jisung's anxiety/hiatus

a/n: recently the more i write the more i feel like i'm not making any sense so let me know if i really am descending into madness on good ole tumblr.com/w3bgrl :) anyways binchu back on their bullshit

the photoshoot studio is cold when juyeon finally gets a text back, shifting from the comfortable position with her hands tucked under her thighs to pull her phone from her pocket, a gust of cool air sending goosebumps up her wrist as she reads the message. the dolled-up girl smiled down at the screen and her eyes flick up to check on chan's shoot progress again before responding.

'at least they're not playing our music. i think that would be torture.'

juyeon looked back up again, this time in search of whoever may be in charge of the music. surely she could request some more upbeat songs, right? — nothing against IU, obviously — but she was sure everyone could use some more pep today. her phone buzzed again.

bin: 'oh definitely. it's torture here. everyone's so quiet.'

'throw on some twice in between takes. heart shaker always does the trick for me.'

bin: 'you know what my song is?'

there, seated at one of the tables to rest between takes that just so happened to be the one with snacks, juyeon smiled down at her phone again despite IU's 'palette' resonating quietly off the brick walls through the camera's rapid-fire. she could already guess along the lines of what he'd say and yet she gave him the opportunity anyway.

'hm?'

bin: 'what is love <3 i wanna know know know know ~’

juyeon now had to set her phone down as she bit at her lip to conceal the stupid smile threatening her nonchalance, stewing in the confusing mix of cringe and affection combining in her chest — which is when she'd notice the absence of the repetitive click that'd been audible for the last 45 minutes, leaving nothing but the bittersweet song to fill the deathly silence in the building. by the time she noticed chan was already leaving the set and making his way to one of the seats beside her. juyeon discarded her phone back in her pocket.

"have you been awake this whole time?" the leader asked once he was in a comfortable-talking range. juyeon shifted to her right while he sat down with a sigh. "yeah?"

"damn, i thought you'd take a nap once you got a break."

chan spoke mostly monotonously, wholly unlike his typical cheerful disposition, and juyeon took this into consideration as she mulled over her response. "i thought about it...but i didn't feel like going back to makeup after drooling." and just as expected; chan simply nodded, closed off and serious despite her obviously playful remark. the younger girl waited for only a moment with a bated breath before sliding her icy hands back under her thighs.

"how you feeling?"

she could see his jaw clench as he looked back over at her.

"honestly?"

juyeon urges him on with a nod. "always."

"hurt." chan states flatly "and mad. and sad. mostly mad, though."

"understandable. do you wanna talk about it?"

his answer is immediate. "not really." juyeon smiles weakly to herself as she nods. "yeah, that's also understandable. i've had enough talking about it."

chan is now the one to prod as he shifts to loosen the arms crossed tightly over his chest. "how're the rappers doing with studio time?"

"jinnie would be hurt" she giggles at the implication and pulls her phone back out to re-read changbin's messages "good, bin said they've been quiet but productive. he said minho's been helpful for hannie."

chan sighs once more, this time much heavier in relation to the other weight reapplied to his chest, and juyeon can't help the way her gaze flicks up to check up on him. he looks exhausted, of course; the stress of these last few days had been agonizingly heavy — for everyone. woojin's untimely departure pulled the rug out from under their feet and before they could even ask any questions they were rushed to start fixing things: re-recording lines and redoing choreo and — chan suddenly spoke up.

"so, you and bin are good again? totally? i don't have to worry about you guys throwing a fit anytime soon?" finally chan grew a little lighter in his demeanor, slightly playful as he earnestly checked in on the former enemies. juyeon would carefully monitor her response.

"nah we're good. honestly, i think we're closer now. we talked it out and said our apologies, so i can kinda understand him better now, you know?"

finally the outline of a smile imprints on chan's lips, the first she'd seen all day, and he teases her with the nudge of his foot. "you guys are like hyunjin and jisung now."

"that's horrible" she remarks in passing and tucks her phone back in her pocket. there is a short beat in their conversation until chan is suddenly prodding again, this time in a secretive hushed tone; "can i ask you something?"

blood running cold upon the question, juyeon whipped her attention back to the older boy in order to analyze each and every feature in search of suspicion, her long nails clinking against jewelry as she tucked her hair behind her ear. "yeah?"

now chan seems apprehensive as he leans back, his thumbs twiddling in his hands clasped over his lap. he starts slowly. "those rumors...they were just rumors — just targeting you for being a girl, yeah?"

he is only half as calculated as juyeon — at least right now, finding his words merely as they came to him. it seemed as though he didn't know how or where to start until that came out which urged him to backpedal slightly.

"just — there's nothing going on between you and changbin, right?" chan adds almost frantically, his eyes reconnecting with her perpetually understanding ones, helping to soften his approach "you'd tell me if you felt that way for anyone, right?"

"of course, chan."

he feels relieved at the ease in her answer; it's apparent in the way his shoulders fall an inch further from his ears, how he subconsciously moves to face her fully, fidgeting hands now still.

"those rumors will haunt us forever," she says "but you don't need to worry about us. you've got enough on your plate."

chan nodded intently and took a deep breath. "well — thanks…that helps…betrayal feels like shit."

juyeon had to dig her nails into her palm as the minimal heat in her body rushed to her face. she pressed her lips together as she gulped, mirroring his nod before nudging him with her foot.

"wanna talk about it?"

chan would release a final sigh-like-grumble before admitting his defeat. "…yeah...i do."

seated in a circle gathered on the livingroom floor the disgruntled members are venturing further into the night when a particularly long lull in the conversation would reveal the audible grumbles of their bellies. they didn't even mean to entirely miss dinner in favor of their venting session, but as felix's stomach voiced its complaints for the lack of attention, seungmin turned to look at the oven clock.

"shit, it's 1."

hyunjin whipped around with wide eyes to check it out himself, mouth hanging open when he verified that it was indeed one in the morning. "dude...i need food."

"me too." jisung, who'd been especially quiet today, spoke in a small voice. from his place beside the glum boy minho would jump to offer the first meals that came to him. "i can make kimbap? or — we have the noodles for japchae?"

chan was already shaking his head "it'll take too long to make a portion for all of us. we should just go to bed, tomorrow'll be even longer."

finally, amongst all the pessimism filling the room in the form of hungry and tired mumbles, changbin spoke up in a light and playful tone with the ghost of a smile on his face. "what if i ran out to grab snacks? it'll only take 20 — 30 minutes."

juyeon's eyes now shot over to chan to watch the disapproval already creasing his brow. "everyone could pick their favorite" she chirped before he could say no in her best mimic of changbin's delicate demeanor. "little 'pick-me-up' before bed?"

soon all heads turned to the leader who sat contemplating with his own gaze shifting between the outspoken pair. he knew them — all of them — well enough to understand he was in the minority on this one, and though he also knew the risk of punishment for 1) sneaking out past curfew and 2) buying unhealthy snacks, chan would simply sigh.

"okay, but be quick, yeah? and please — whatever you do — just don't get caught, okay?"

changbin is already to his feet with a serviceable nod. "all will be well, hyung. now send me your orders!" he shrieks while stumbling his way through the crowd of boys toward his bedroom "i'm gonna grab a hoodie."

"i'll go with you." says juyeon naturally as she mirrors his actions, pushing herself to her feet and carefully stepping through the members closest to the front door. "grab me one, too!" she calls after him. a hand taps her calf once changbin is out of view.

hyunjin, with a hushed tone, has his neck cranked to look up at the older girl with furrowed brows. "since when were you guys cool again?" he asks, and she can feel heat blooming on her cheeks for the second time today as well as the other boys' growing proximity while they leaned in closer to hear the breaking news.

truth be told; after their huge argument bin and chu made amends and fixed their attitudes without ever clarifying what had happened to the members — not that they even asked, anyway. it seemed too tender of a topic; too fresh and too delicate, so instead they kept to themselves and observed from afar. by this point all they knew for sure was that they didn't bicker anymore and that was enough for them! but some of them swore the formerly close pair had begun warming up to one another again. in fact, just the other day jeongin had sent individual texts to tell the members they were taking selfies, so juyeon joining him on a solo trip to the convenience store seemed like a big moment.

reaching for her hair pulled into a bun juyeon's hand falls short to slyly scratch at her neck as she offers an uncertain-looking shrug, and just as her lips part to spit something out, changbin emerges from his room adorned in a sweatshirt with the hood up and one for juyeon in hand.

"ready?"

she hums and takes the hoodie to pull it on. changbin nods at hyunjin still sitting with his head uncomfortably panned upwards, "send me what you want."

"oh! right!"

the hoodied duo now turn their backs to slide their shoes on and the remaining boys all share a look with one another before whipping back to watch them leave. changbin steps out first, holding the door open for juyeon who pauses to wave before leaving, and then the front door closes behind them and the final 7 are left speechless.

"did you bring your wallet?" is the first thing changbin says once it's just them. juyeon's eyes narrow. "...no?"

"well — then who's paying?"

it only takes her a second longer to register the smirk lingering in the corner of his mouth threatening to destroy the act put forth. she can only smile and shake her head at his resumed antics. "come on." she chuckles, grabbing his wrist to pull him towards their destination despite the way her palm began to burn. "we've got 25 minutes to make it there and back."

changbin is smiling now too, the playful facade replaced by a genuine toothy grin, his tone now entirely too fond for the halls of the company building. "what would i have done without you?"

"is that what this is? you just wanted to hang out?"

changbin simply shrugs indicating that yes; this was just a ruse to enjoy her company (or undivided attention) since they couldn't interact how they wanted to around anyone else. it had become somewhat of a game they played throughout the day — to see what elaborate way they could sneak off without anyone noticing, though changbin was usually better at it. the first week after their amends, changbin faked back pain for her heating pad which was conveniently located in her room.

"i wanted to see you, can you blame me?"

juyeon finally releases his wrist and is positively certain of the burn mark left on her palm while she replicates his sly shrug, exuding charisma with her pompous tone "i mean, i am awesome, so that's understandable." she laughs at herself now and drops the act "but i texted you all day and now you've got me walking half a mile."

"i want to see you, though." changbin hums, his eyes on the blush warming her face "plus you left me on read for an hour! what's wrong with my twice pick?"

"nothing! what is love was a great choice! chan got a break and came to talk, that's all."

"oh...and how was that?"

juyeon sighed and shrugged again, this time far more serious and authentic than the last. "i don't know...i think it's just on his mind, you know? these long days give him more time to think about it — and he says he doesn't want to talk about it but woojin just keeps coming up." changbin now pulls his gaze away to open another set of doors for her leading to the familiar elevators that would bring them down to the first floor.

"what did he say?"

"just...you know —" juyeon presses the call button before crossing her arms, trailing off while she recalls their lengthy conversation at the shoot location and omitting the information that didn’t need repeating "he wishes they could've talked before it got to this point. he feels betrayed and on edge right now — especially with how hannie's been recently — not that it's his fault or anything. but he's mad about being left out of the conversation entirely, just kept in the dark until the decision was made."

the elevator dings as it arrives to their floor. changbin and juyeon step inside silently with the same reminiscent memory in their mind, and as their gaze meets again like the pull of magnets, the older girl leans against the railing to tap his shoe with her own. "he asked about us today, too."

changbin waits for the doors to close before he responds in a half-whisper. "and?? what did he say??" despite juyeon's cool manner in presenting this news changbin is nearly frantic, far more intrigued by her response now than the last time he asked.

"well, he wanted to know if we were good again — if he had to worry about us fighting anymore. so i told him no, we're good, and then he asked about the rumors; if there was actually anything between us."

"and you said...?" changbin's eyebrows furrowed at her, now clearly on edge in wait for her conclusion.

and yet, she remained shockingly optimistic, a faint smile on her lips as she spoke. "the truth; no matter how we interact, what's been said can't be unsaid, those rumors will follow us forever."

"so..." he sighed "we'll have to be like this forever? not to say that i don't enjoy these times with you, but i hate staying so far away all the time."

juyeon would now reach out to make contact once more, her delicate fingers trailing down his arm like she wanted to grab hold while her smile grew into a dazzling grin, eliciting an admittedly confused smirk from him. "actually, i think it's the opposite." she hums "i think if we play our cards right things'll go back to normal in time. i mean — we've always been good friends up until the rumors, right? and then we kinda had a falling out and grew apart, right?”

changbin nodded along to show he was still following as her demeanor became more mischievous the further she spoke. he could almost see the feigned innocence in her doe eyes as she said, “so now we’re just getting back to being friends — little by little every day. at some point we’ll be totally normal again and then any resurfacing rumors can be explained away by our fallout. if we play our cards right no one will even bat an eye — they'll just be glad we're close again."

the crimson-haired boy would merely blink back at her for a moment as he tested her theory in his own head and was shocked to find many of the same ideas pointing him in the same direction. whether her plan would go accordingly or not was still left up to the general public's perception of them — particularly her — which would leave their conclusion in the air until the time came, but this wasn't even the part he was really interested in anymore. instead, changbin's restrained smirk would grow to reveal his teeth before a dry chuckle escaped his throat.

"kang juyeon, you sly devil." he teased in a silky-smooth tone "i think you'd be a great supervillain, you are far more mischievous than you look. how long did you think about this master plan of yours?"

the elevator slows to a stop as they arrive on the lobby floor and she finally pulls away again to tuck a strand of hair behind her red ears with a casual shrug. "i told you i was awesome."

changbin has to bite back a full beaming grin when the elevator doors open and they exit silently towards the front doors of the jyp building. he rummages in his pocket for his id card to press to the reader before pushing the door open for her once again and resuming conversation the moment they were outside.

"and chan's not suspicious at all?" he asks, the cool breeze biting at his cheeks "you really think this'll work?"

juyeon laughs and looks back over at him with her signature beautiful smile (at least in his eyes) "i do. we just need to be stealthy, that's all." she then grabs the neckline of her sweatshirt and brings it to her lips as if talking into a mic, an eyebrow cocked at him. "can you be stealthy, agent seo?"

once again changbin has to fight back the giddy, knee-jerk reaction of a sunny smile at her antics and swallow the urge to remake contact, instead pressing an index to his tragus like he was listening through an earpiece. "actually, i think i can, agent kang."

ju's perpetually flowing giggles indicate utter satisfaction with his response and the so-called agent now nods forward toward the convenience store growing closer with each step. "good answer. now for our first mission; gs25 on yangjae boulevard."

[starry-nights-garden]

Wooyoung ✧ Blank Pages

✧ Ateez Wooyoung x gn!reader ✧ words: ~1.3k ✧ genre: fluff, comfort, some humor, Jung Wooyoung being the perfect human he is ✧ warnings: none, (mentions of him running his hand through reader's hair)

Desc.: Writing is your passion, but sometimes things in life happen that render you unable to do so, leaving you feeling quite depressed as a result. And sometimes you’re lucky that you have someone on your side who manages to distract you from all those bad feelings. 

You’re sitting at the desk in your room, fingertips tracing the paper of your notebook and following the lines filled with words in your handwriting. A bittersweet smile sits on your lips as you reread your own stories and poems, written mostly in black or blue ink. The very first pieces in this book must be well over a year old, while the last one was written probably a month ago. It was the last thing you’ve written, actually. Because ever since then you’ve been facing some heavy writer’s block, probably caused by the stress that some unlucky circumstances have been inflicting on you ever since around that time. You remember the way you felt like you had to squeeze the words out of your hands, in order for them to flow onto the paper, and the exhaustion that overcame you afterwards was new. Sure, writing requires some brain juice and energy, but usually it’s more of a content, rewarding feeling you get after you finish a piece. However, this time it was different, and ever since then you’ve found yourself unable to write more than a few words, and even those come with a disproportionate amount of exhaustion. 

Of course it makes you sad, though you’re trying to accept that you just need to be patient and wait for things to get better, so your mind will be less clouded and your heart won’t feel so heavy all the time. Still, you love writing, and the urge to write is growing stronger each day, even though everytime you sit down to actually do it, you run into the same walls you always do recently, and in the end you have to admit defeat against the empty paper. Caught up in your thoughts, you let out a long breath.

“Why are you sighing so much again?” A voice suddenly resounds behind you, followed by footsteps leading to where you’re sitting. You have been so sunken into your worries that you must not have heard your boyfriend, who has just placed one hand onto the backrest of your chair and is now peeking over your shoulder after entering your room. “You’re writing?” Wooyoung guesses, but he corrects himself as he quickly assesses the situation. “Trying to?”

“Just reading my old stuff,” you retort, followed by a bitter laugh. “I feel like even just picking up a pen these days requires way too much effort…” He remains silent for a while. You’ve talked about this with him before, so it’s not like you need to thoroughly explain how you feel or why you feel like that. You know he understands, and that there isn’t really anything he can say to help you with this. Still, he makes you look up at him by pressing a short kiss onto your temple, and you watch as he moves to the right side of the desk, crouching down not far from you. He puts his hands on the wooden surface, and between them his chin, resting his head there as he glances up at your face. 

“Once upon a time… write that!” he suddenly urges you on, shooting your pens a look, and then another one when you don’t immediately follow his instructions, this time with more emphasis. 

“What are you even trying to achieve…?” you ask, and though you can somehow imagine what the answer will be - and also that his plan isn’t going to work - you still can’t help but smile at the way he’s making an effort for your sake. 

“Just do what I say!!” he answers. “Trust me.” 

“Fine…” you mumble, reaching out for a random pen and turning to an empty page. A heavy sigh leaves your lips, but Wooyoung doesn’t let himself be bothered by you already losing faith.

“Once upon a time, there was a handsome- no, a super handsome!!! young man, who…” You cut him off.

“I’m not writing a story about you,” you complain, shooting him a half strict, half amused glance.

“Why would it be about me?!” an enraged Wooyoung throws back, and you raise your eyebrows at him.

“Oh, so you wouldn’t describe yourself as a super handsome young man?”

“No-. I-… fine, maybe it was supposed to be about me,” he eventually admits. “Can’t you write stories about your boyfriend once in a while?” he adds, whining.

“I already wrote a lot about you-”

“A few things!! And never the stuff I suggest!” he keeps complaining, the playful sparkle in his eyes only growing with each exchange of words between you two.

“Well, writing about a spaghetti-hero is ridiculous… what even is that supposed to be? I still don’t get it,” you laugh. “A superhero who cooks really delicious spaghetti? Or-”

“His beams are made of spaghetti! The ones he shoots - like this!” Wooyoung gets up, posing like spiderman when he’s about to shoot his spiderwebs at something, accompanied by sound effects produced by himself. “But also,” he leans against the desk now, “I was half asleep and kinda drunk when I said that. Don’t use the weird things I say!”

“Alright,” you answer. “But what you suggested right now is weird too.”

“Oh, you think it’s weird that you’re dating a super handsome guy?” He already has his next comeback ready, and though he’s trying to look offended, he can’t keep his face from forming a childlike grin any longer, which in turn makes you let out a short laugh too. Before you can respond, he suddenly points at you, exclaiming, “But it cheered you up, didn’t it?”

“I guess…” you say through a smile, before you set down the pen and get up to wrap your arms around his body. Even despite the happiness he sparked deep in your chest, your shoulders feel heavy, and you’re thankful when he returns the embrace and holds you close, so you don’t have to support your entire weight by yourself. “It’s okay,” you mumble with your face hidden in his chest. “I don’t have the capacities to write these days. I’ll just have to wait until things pass…” He brings one of his hands up to your head, combing his fingers through your hair carefully, before his lips meet your forehead. This time he drags the kiss out for a bit, letting his touch linger on your skin. 

“I know…” he says, and you can clearly tell the way he swallows a “but”. Instead of expressing how sorry he feels for you and how much he hates seeing you like this, he goes for words more helpful than that. “Let’s do something together then,” he suggests, taking a step to the side and putting one arm around your waist. “We can make dinner together, or watch something if you’re too tired for that.” To be quite honest with yourself, you’re too tired for either of those, but at the same time you know he has a million ways to cheer you up and to charge your exhausted batteries with some power, so you nod.

“Dinner sounds good,” you say, and he walks you out of your room, giving you a little push on the back in the process. Just from that gesture alone you feel fresh energy running through your veins, and you add, “What do you wanna make?”

“…Spaghetti?” Wooyoung suggests after thinking for a moment, and you laugh. 

“So long as you don’t do anything stupid with them…” As if that was his cue, he lets go of you and jumps a few steps back, pretending to shoot spaghetti-beams against the walls of your apartment. The ridiculous scene unfolding right in front of your eyes causes you to burst out laughing. 

“Like this?” he questions.

“Yes. Please don’t do that,” you plead, and he gives you a serious look, pretending to think for a while. Eventually, he seems to have reached a conclusion as his expression returns to a playful smile and he grabs your hand.

“Alright. But only if I get a kiss!” he demands, and you have to chuckle once again.

“I think that can be arranged,” you mumble in response as you reach out to put your arms around his shoulders, and you draw closer to him. 

[accio-victuuri]

yuguyao sweets part 6 🫶🏼 🍬🍭 and other things..

( a very cute / good boi shuo shuo invites you in. )

this is his most recent one released by tencent video. i just love these because we are free to study it and the seeing how he explains things — no one can confirm that it has nothing to do with some of his life experiences.

what cpfs are mostly pointing out is this part, where he talks about when zhu yan stabs shi ying. and oh, apparently zz improvised the line : “if i die, will you be sad?”

He comforted her, he said don't be sad. I will not blame you. If there’s a kind of comfort, I think,, this is not the state of people who are truly in love for a long time. The state of people who are truly in love should be, I want you to feel sad for me. So when I am dying, I can hear your heartfelt words. I'll be happy if you’re sad because I feel like I've never been a perfect person in the setting of Shi Ying. I don't want him to be the perfect one. The director, writer, screenwriter and producer we all participated in heated discussion. That is, “what would happen if lovers really fell in love with each other?” I believe it will not be like this. Everyone is very twisted. The relationship must not be very smooth.

So let’s just analyze this…

1. People who are truly in love for a long time? Sir. What do you know about that? Maybe it has something to do with your husband. You can say that he got this understanding from somewhere and not necessarily from personal experience, but i feel like, when it comes to love and this kind of explanation, it has to be from XZ himself. When you talk about “love” in this kind of drama setting, it usually does not reflect what happens in real life. I’m glad he fought for that and has that kind of experience so he can give some input.

2. The part where he says, “I want you to feel sad for me.” — brings turtles back to the Japan Trip. When they were both “sad” because they were apart and both were not sure what will happen to them. We know they both gravitate towards “bittersweet love songs” and probably towards stories with that tone, but hearing XZ openly saying that love isn’t just sunshine and rainbows but also sadness is comforting. What matters is you stay together and are with each other in the happy & sad moments. When you think about how long they have been together and all the storms they had to go through — it makes sense that XZ will mention this. I wanna say WYB is attuned with XZ’s emotions, even if you don’t SZD, in the interviews back in 2019, it was so obvious that WYB can sense when XZ was already uncomfortable and will do his best to divert the attention.

3. The way he explains falling in love as twisted & not very smooth which i think means the “reality” of a relationship. Turtles were then quick to point out the “jealousy” examples we’ve seen before.

While I don’t think every evidence we’ve seen was jealousy ( tho happy camp gg was scary ), it makes sense in this context. The two of them didn’t have a very smooth relationship journey and even now, there are challenges but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. add the fact that it’s to be expected because of who they are. No matter what relationship timeline you believe in, theirs is not exactly the conventional story, so it’s telling that XZ describes falling in love this way.

I also read this comment and it’s so true!!!! XZ will not settle for anything less when it comes to love and maybe some people will find it too demanding.

If there is one person who can meet that standard and has a one track mind when it comes to the things he loves, someone who will pursue it no matter what — it’s wang yibo. 💚

I also love the part where he says one his favorite shoot was when the temple was being fixed and they had to be “outside”. they shot it in the studio and the light was very warm, like the sunshine. Oh. Okay. 👀

you mean like WYB’s song…. they really gravitate towards the same things, and to think this interview was way before the song was released.

AND OH this behind the scenes clip reminds us of this xz and wyb interaction. Their brains really connect like no other and they have the same humor! 😂😂😂

This one is not YGY related, but apparently the new trailer for One and Only was posted 10:05 then was deleted and reposted again. I’m sure there must be a reason, but turtles can’t help but clown and think they didn’t want to give candy with the 10:05 😂😂 or they did, but took it back. LOL.

There are figures sold for Chen Shuo & Shi Ying from the same company! I guess this fulfills people’s AU pairing of Shiying x Modern Yibo. of SDC 5 Yibo will work too 🥹🥹🥹

-END.

[livv-watkins]

Mike gets vecna’d and it’s that one concept where vecna shows him what his future with Jane would look like vs Will etc etc. Enjoy!!

All of a sudden he’s in this life that he promised himself he’d never be in, mirroring his parents with a sad and loveless relationship. The dying flower field gone from his vision in a blink, replaced by the buzz of a small tv in front of him.

Mike rubbed his eyes tiredly, he was wide awake a second ago, watching Hawkins fall, but now he was sitting on a familiar la-z-boy with a newspaper article long forgotten in his lap and a knot in the back of his neck from sleeping up right.

The sound of food sizzling came from where he assumed the kitchen was, followed by the distinct sound of breakfast sibling rivalry. It reminded him of when he would dump syrup on Nancy’s eggs.

Nancy…

He sprung up quickly, only to immediately regret it. His back ached and he dizzied slightly, as if he had aged 30 years in the span of a second.

What had happened? Where were the others? Will, El, Nancy, Jonathan, Joyce and Hopper and Will. Where had they gone?

“Sweetie! Get up, breakfast has been ready for almost 10 minutes.”

Sweetie? Was that El?

He moved towards the sound quickly, the house he was in resembled his own, but was not quite the same. Walls were filled with photos of unfamiliar children and cheap plastic trophies obviously won from kids sports.

As he entered the room he immediately froze, El stood by the stove before moving to place more food on the table. She looked much older, with the long curls that she had so recently lost flowing from her head and a tacky apron around her waist.

“You fell asleep in the living room, again.”

She sounded disappointed, a tone he commonly heard his mother use on his father when he did the same as he just had. There wasn’t even a hint of the stiltedness in her voice, gone from years of real world experience.

“El, whats going on?”

She looked at him confused.

“El? You haven’t called me that in years, Mike. Are you alright?”

This was creepy, so so creepy. What would he call her other than El? Why was he here? Who were these kids? What is happening?

“El, don’t mess with me. What’s going on? Where’s Will?”

Her expression saddened, quickly glancing over at the children at the table.

“Our Will or your best friend Will?”

“My best friend Will is our Will! El, what’s going on? We were just on the Hill not even two minutes ago and—“

Somewhere in his small monologue the youngest of the children had already started crying, obviously worried by the man’s behaviour. The eldest was already half out of her seat, and who he assumed was the middle child sat visibly confused by the ordeal.

“Mike, what are you talking about? That was 20 years ago.”

“20 years?!! No way, El, where is Will?”

El sent him an incredibly worried glance, before shooting away to shush the girl that kept crying. 20 years was too long, way too long. This had to be something to do with One, but Will said he was still resting. Will. Where was Will?

With the child in one arm, bouncing her up and down as a way of comfort, El placed a steady hand on the side of the spiraling boy’s shoulder. She asked him over and over if he was okay, if something was wrong and reassuring him that it was over, but he couldn’t believe it. He kept asking where Will and the others were, he asked and asked, but El wasn’t giving him a straight answer and—

“He’s dead, Mike. He died saving us.”

…what?

“what? El, what do you mean—“

He could feel the tears starting to well up in his eyes, but he blinked them away as quick as he could. He couldn’t cry, not here, not like this.

“Damn, I didn’t know dad had emotions until now.” The middle child exclaimed.

“Will!” Both the eldest and El scolded at the same time.

Will? That was not Will. Will would never say something like that, especially not to his family. Will was kind, and selfless and amazing and —

and dead.

Will was dead.

He couldn’t do this anymore, he had to escape. So he just blocked his ears and closes and eyes and prayed. He prayed that this would end, that he could go back and make sure everyone was okay. He prayed that Will was okay.

Then all the muffled noise stops, there’s no more children crying and El wasn’t grabbing his arm and begging him to tell her why he was acting like this. Instead, the family’s panic is replaced by a familiar voice.

“Mike? You okay, babe?”

Immediately he opened his eyes again. Though he was still freaked out and terrified and confused because the boy in front of him was much older than he was 5 minutes ago, Will was there and he was safe. Will was safe and okay and he just called him babe and—

wait what?

“Mike. What’s up?

He was still in a kitchen, just not the same one as before. It was smaller and cozier and over the counter there was a large window that stared down at the surrounding city.

The space was open, just in front of the window sat a yellow sofa with a small stained coffee table. It faced a slim tv, much slimmer and modern than the one he had at home. The tv was perched on a light yellow shelf that matched a decent amount of furniture in the house.

He kept staring off at the apartment, noting things like how there was an accent wall that was almost the same blue as his room and how books and papers were sprawled over the table and how —

“Mike, say something. You’re being extra spacey today and it’s worrying me.”

Mike quickly snapped out of his haze and stared at Will, with an older face and stubble marking his jawline, he looked good.

‘you okay, babe?’

Will opened his arms toward Mike, inviting him in to hug, and who was Mike to say no? This was okay, he and Will were okay. He could live like this a little longer.

So he walked towards Will and slumped his head into his shoulder, before putting his arms around Will and snuggling his face into the crook of his neck. Will’s hands wrapped around his torso, the coldness slightly seeping through his shirt to his bare skin. He paid no mind to the faint sound of music he heard, too immersed in what was Will Byers to care.

“You scared me, y’know. It’s like you teleported into the room.”

Mike only mumbled in response, taking Will’s presence and practically eating it whole. Will pulled him back a bit, before putting an unexpected soft kiss on his lips.

Though Will’s lips were almost freezing, Mike burned up like a flame. Will just kissed him and it was really nice. It was really nice, so he ducked down to return the favour, but Will’s hand wrapped around his face to stop him from going any further.

To your soul

To your soul

“How disappointing.” Will spoke, but it was not his voice. His eyes practically glowed white as he stared Mike in the eyes and gripped onto his face tighter and tighter.

Mike tried to run, but he was stuck in place. His feet glued to the floor and forcing him to watch the man in front of him slowly mold himself into a monster as he shook in fear. The distant music from before was louder, the lyrics slowly starting to blare in his ears.

He could see something out of the corner of his eye, through the large window across the room. A portal floating a foot away from the building. Through his tears he could see his body slowly start to rise as vecna’s claws latched onto his face, and he could see someone’s hand desperately grip onto his ankles as he flew up.

“MIKE!”

“I will take away your suffering, Michael. You won’t have to live the life you never wanted to live longing for the one I just showed you.”

…The love that you need will never be found at home

run away, turn away…

“MIKE PLEASE”

“It is time.”

“MIKE, ITS ME. PLEASE, I-I LOVE YOU, OKAY?? DON’T LEAVE ME, I CANT LOSE YOU.”

…run away, turn away…

“No.” He spoke, before reaching to the side and grabbing a kitchen knife on the counter, cutting a vine clean off of his body.

He didn’t dare look back, running towards the window and unlocking it as quick as he could.

No, you never cried to them, just to your soul

Vecna glared at him as he slid the window open, but he paid the monster no mind. On the other side of that portal there was Will, begging him to come back and telling him he loved him. On the other side of that portal there was the boy he loved telling him that he loved him back.

Run away, turn away, run away, turn away…

No vine could stop him as he leaped towards the opening with no hesitation, only a second away from falling 30 floors down.

Instead, he fell into the arms of the boy on the swings. He fell into the arms of the boy he went crazy with. He fell into the arms of the boy he had loved before he even knew what loving was, and he was okay.

Sitting in the dying flower field, surrounded by the people he loved and cared for the most. He was okay.

[girlbossblackbeard]

s2 brain thoughts: the squeakuel (ep 2)

as a reminder, if u see me posting any of these points as their own posts mind ur business:

-i'm sending my hospital bills to david jenkins for weaponizing thef cuking "you wear fine things well" scene WITHOUT ANY KIND OF WARNING i literally almost choked to death from shock

-hey so what the whole actual fuck is up with transitioning directly from the very painful "you wear fine things well" scene which, as we've already established, has REAL HUMAN CASUALTIES DUE TO THIS USE-CASE, into the "run from me darling" lyric overlayed on top of the god damn shot of ed pAINTING THE BRIDE CAKE TOPPER TO LOOK LIKE HIM AND BASICALLY PLAYING OUT HIS FANTASY OF MARRYING STEDE. david jenkins you have committed crimes

-also!!!!!!!!!! that cake topper has kohl smudged all over it so you KNOW our boy ed has been caressing it against his cheek and sighing longingly

-i know we've all talked about how insane the "ed plays with the wedding cake toppers pretending they're him and stede" scene is but i don't think we've really comprehended how GENUINELY INSANE it is like??? edward teach, blackbeard, the kraken, the scourge of the seven seas, the most fearsome pirate the caribbean has ever known that has recently been on a non-stop slaughtering spree, painted a bride wedding cake topper to look like himself which he then scoots next to a wedding cake topper that looks like stede so he can imagine that he's marrying him. this man carefully rubbed kohl on a cake topper to give it darker skin and darker hair and a BEARD. to make it look more like himself. so he could then. put it next to a cake topper that looked like stede. and pretend. they were getting married. i've written that 3 times now and my brain STILL refuses to fully process those sentences.

-i said it in my first brain thoughts post for ep 1 and i'll say it again: every time im reminded that ed has been crying NON-STOP. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. for MONTHS. over stede. my wall gains another hole

-the way ed is so delirious in his sadness as he pushes the cake toppers out the window. i don't even have any thoughts on that i feel like all i can do is just note it and let y'all deal with the rest

>>actually I lied, he literally watches them sink into the sea after he pushes them out the window that's so fucked up whomever made that decision to make him do that is so fucked up

-"the sea is restorative isn't it" "YYYYEEESSS QUEEN!!!!!!!!!! I'VE ALWAYS SAID SO!!!!!!!!!!!!" "ohh that guy knows" IS THE MOST UNDERRATED EXCHANGE IN THE ENTIRE SERIES IT LITERALLY HAD ME SHAKING WITH LAUGHTER

-would looooooooooooooove to know what went through stede's head as soon as roach mentioned "some place called China??" like did he immediately think of the kiss or getting sent to the naval academy or the kiss or ed's excitement at the prospect of running away together or the kiss or getting kidnapped by chauncey or the kiss or watching chauncey shoot himself in the dome or the kiss or his flop behavior of running back to his family that doesn't even want him or the kiss or

-the crew of the red flag being so immediately kind and welcoming to stede and his crew <3

-i genuinely cannot wait to watch buttons fully immerse himself in the red flag traditions like he was made to be on that crew

-"how should I put this, your energy is..." can't believe they got hatecrimed like that

-RAT BOY

-HE'S HERE

-OUR BOY IS HERE

-fun fact: i recorded my live reaction to episodes 1 - 3 and posted the clip of my friends and i reacting to lucius coming back because we were quite literally jumping for joy and crying over the reunion and THE illustrious Nathan Foad himself told me it was literally the cutest thing he's ever seen (his words, not mine!!) so we're basically best friends forever now and the rest of my life will be spent chasing the high of the happiness i felt during that interaction

-i am also crying once again over his reappearance and i think that's just gonna happen every time i watch this scene :')

-roach's shocked face when lucius appears is something that can actually be so personal

-the way they all dogpile on top of him because they're so happy to see him bitch what the FCUK

-also stede's STUPID LITTLE "huh!" LIKE??????????? THAT WAS YOUR SCRIBE AND RELATIONSHIP GURU YOU HEARTLESS MONSTER WHERE IS THE ENERGY AND EXCITEMENT AT KNOWING HE ISN'T FUCKING DEAD??????????????

-"i love it" *BIG SMOOCH* "i love all of it" *BIGGER SMOOCH* oh so they're trying to kill me by smothering me in the syrupy sweetness of their love. okay

-okay sorry but lucius's absolutely microscopic furrowing of his brow right before black pete kisses him again. for a split second he had a slight look of sadness which lines up with the very real trauma he's endured and how even in extremely happy moments they can be tinged with sadness - maybe a sadness for the past and the way things could've been if he hadn't been pushed off the boat - and all i can say is nathan foad. ur big powerful acting mind

-we gotta talk about lucius choosing not to reveal that ed had pushed him off the ship in front of the whole crew. i'm still trying to figure out if that was him trying to spare stede's feelings (unlikely considering he lets it all out later), spare black pete's feelings (possible, since he knows black pete idolizes blackbeard), prevent himself from having to relive that trauma in front of his friends when he's not prepared to confront those memories, or a combination of all of the above

-"i fell. off the ship." "that doesn't sound like you. you have impeccable balance, babe" i literally love black pete so much i may legally have to change my name to lucius spriggs

-"toouwelss? what is this? are these jobs?" stede i love you so very much to the moon and back but for the love of god you gotta shut it my guy

-I AM LITERALLY SO EXCITED FOR THE BUTTONS SEA WITCH STORY ARC LIKE IT MAY ACTUALLY BE ON PAR WITH MY EXCITEMENT TO SEE ED AND STEDE PROPERLY REUNITE AND OPENLY LOVE EACH OTHER AGAIN

-ed just. washing the door handle. i dont have any other thoughts

-GODDDDDDD HE'S SERVING SOOOOOO MUCH GENDER WITH HIS LIL HAIR BUN AND MOSTLY CLEANED UP WAR PAINT AND DANGLY EARRINGS AKEFJAPWHFA OPERGJAER

-the way frenchie looks genuinely happy for ed when he says he thinks he got all the poison out of his system and it's a new day :((

-idk much about piracy but i really don't think there's a rule about the new first mate traditionally having to kill the old first mate, i think ed just made that up so someone else would have to kill izzy instead of him. despite everything, despite how low he's sunken into the very dark parts of his mind due to the heartbreak, ed still can't bring himself to deal the killing blow

-"i expect great things from you" might be one of the more chilling lines in that interaction because for THE blackbeard to have not just any expectations from you, but GREAT expectations? that's not a compliment, that's a threat. measure up to what blackbeard thinks you should be or else

-can't comment on the amputation scene too yucky sorry

-stede trying to triangulate ed's coordinates based off of his string of crimes on a map HE drew is me trying to triangulate where tf this season is going based off of buckwild theories i've made up and used as the foundation for even more buckwild theories

-yeah idk what the mushy ass lyrics stede wrote on that map mean but i know they're frighteningly homosexual

-"FUCK YOU. that's how i am" I am SO glad lucius gets to be openly bitchy towards stede it feels like a cathartic release for me personally

-ed's fuckin "heyyyy" to frenchie in the kitchen is both hilarious and unbelievably unsettling

-absolutely obsessed with the writers for once again showing just how scarily observant and intelligent ed is when he calls frenchie out for using his right hand to mime killing izzy even though he's actually left handed

-i really admire how david chose to use a low camera angle that looks up at ed as he reveals to frenchie that he's well aware he hasn't killed izzy yet because taika's performance was already unsettling enough but that specific angle adds so much to his overall menacing presence in that scene

-joel fry's performance in the kitchen scene with ed literally makes me want to bite something he's so good at acting quietly terrified

-this is almost certainly an unpopular opinion but i really would've loved to see more buildup to jim and archie kissing. i just feel like we know NOTHING about her let alone her relationship with jim prior to the two days we've seen them interacting and i feel like that kiss would've felt like a much more satisfying payoff if we had seen more interactions between them before they got to that point. i would've taken delaying that kiss by a few episodes if it meant feeling fully invested in it once it did happen, but i also know the show already has so much material to get through (which is why we should've gotten 10 eps but i digress)

-"hey no one told me this room existed" is giving "i didn't even realize there was piracy happening"

-"take the fuckin leg" is such a perfect line delivery

-love the foreshadowing of olu explaining how the little ships on the war table were all over the place and "some of them were over land"

-roach waxing poetic about the noodles is so relatable

-"jesus christ stede keep your pants on" hands down one of the funniest fucking lucius moments of all time

-sorry but we gotta give a shout out to lucius modifying the chinese fleet uniform so it's sleeveless. the edges are cleanly done so either he was put on tailoring duty at some point and picked it up there or someone on the ship wanted to enable the slayage

-there's something to be said about the fact that the only other man who has lasted being on board the red flag ship is another member of the revenge who was picked up and welcomed into the fold well before stede and the rest of the crew wound up there. something about how stede attracts and retains other people who he can tell are gentle at heart, even if they're putting up a tough front. something about how lucius had bounced from ship to ship until he finally wound up on Zheng Yi Sao's ship where he was allowed to be himself

-"ya don't know............if ya picked up....smokin....." nathaniel buttons my beloved

-OOOOF stede's guilty face after lucius talks about how he must've picked up smoking somewhere. after the crushing guilt he already feels about the ed situation this definitely would've weighed extremely heavy on him

-MY SPICY LIL RAT BOY IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME

-"what the hell is going on in towels" wee john my beloved

-look i know izzy is on the brink of death but he genuinely looks kinda beautiful before ed wakes him up from his shock induced coma and i won't apologize for that

-"my leg" izzy is so fred rechid coded

-"it's up in leg heaven now" i need to know if ed said that as a way of metaphorically digging the knife into izzy and getting back at him for trying to force ed to send stede to doggy heaven in season 1

-i dont have the emotional capacity to dive into the ed and izzy shooting scene rn but just know it destroyed me on a metaphysical level

-"too scared to do it yourself" no because unfortunately now im thinking about ed thinking through taking his own life but coming to the realization that he can't do it. whether it's because of childhood christianity trauma and thinking he'll be sent to hell for doing so or because he knows he can't follow through with it himself if there's still a tiny shred of hope that he'll reunite with stede and everything will be okay again, he always has to outsource the big job

-also, very interesting choice to have almost jovial classical music playing in the background of the ed/izzy scene. it definitely undercut a lot of the tension compared to how supremely uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing the scene would've been if it were dead silent behind the dialogue

-"i loved you...best i could"

-"i've got an ex-wife, two messed up kids probably" LMAO stede acknowledging he would have no way of knowing how fucked up his kids are because of him

-"sounds like you're quite the fuck-up pal" "yeah, i am! and im alone! talk to pete. don't be like me" ohhhhh my god stede is in just as much agony as ed is over this breakup he's just been using his polite society social skills of saving face and never showing how truly devastated you are to others to cover up how supremely messed up he is over all of it. he is BEGGING lucius to talk to pete and NOT make the same mistakes he did because maybe if he can prevent lucius from bottling it up and actually deal with this in a healthy way he can make up for a fraction of all the hurt he's caused not only ed but lucius as well. maybe if he can get lucius to talk to pete he can absolve himself of some of the soul-crushing guilt he feels over how his actions have irreparably damaged the people he cares about the most. maybe if lucius and pete are able to work through this trauma and still come out the other side loving each other just as much or even more than they did before, he can believe that there's still hope for him and ed.

-ed choosing to put on the cravat for what he believes is going to be his last action on earth before dying because he's resigned himself to his fate but is still scared shitless by it and wants that modicum of comfort that stede will always be able to provide him no matter how badly he hurt ed is giving me the urge to find the nearest cast iron skillet and loony toons my skull

-"some people are just broken no matter what you do" noooo why do i feel like lucius was talking about himself when he said that to stede about ed ://

-oof i know they were an unnamed character but fang tried to save someone who went overboard during the storm and wasn't able to :(

-GGGOOOODDDDDDD izzy looks so fucking hot and badass all soaking wet and leaning up against the rigging after shooting ed jesus christ

-"finally" ed was so relieved to have his pain finally end. even after his journey of self discovery in the next episode im really curious how he's going to deal with having to confront the pain he thought he escaped in addition to the pain he inflicted on others while failing to cope with that pain and stopping at nothing, including nearly killing the rest of the crew, to end it

[madeliefkrans]

the quiet pulse of shizume on ao3

okay i wasn't planning to let shizume make me melancholic again but here we are. so. let's talk about the corner of ao3 where shizume still lives. it's a small space with only 37 works. and yeah, i remember when people were more into posting their writing on tumblr instead of ao3, which, considering tumblr’s awful search function, means a lot of those works are lost to the void.

which is kind of heartbreaking, honestly.

the shizume tag on ao3 appears to be a ghost town. an archive that’s being lovingly maintained by ao3's servers but isn’t getting any new additions. it’s like visiting an old library where the books are still there, but no one’s writing new ones.

but that’s only part of the story. sure, if you look at the last five fics, they span a good six years, and quite a few authors have left their works under the lonely "orphan_account", but there’s still a pulse. you can feel it in the slow rise of hits, kudos, and the occasional comment that pops up out of nowhere.

for some context: hirunaka no ryuusei / daytime shooting star wrapped up back in 2014.

comments are pretty sparse. the fic with the most comments only has 11, and that’s counting the author’s replies. but there’s this pattern: fics from 2014 with their last comment in 2018, 2015 fics with their most recent comment from 2020. all these years later, people still find their way to shizume on ao3 and feel so moved they leave a comment.

here’s a little timeline of comments that made me ache:

2018: "hnr was such a big part of my life for a portion of time so it was really frustrating the way it ended. the idea that you read my fic in order to soothe the sadness is the greatest honor"

2020: "when i first read hnr, i rooted for mamura, but older me now realizes how their pairing, lovely as it is, doesn’t quite match the theme established in the beginning of the story. the longing and heart break of shizume was well done by the mangaka, and both characters have already moved on from this relationship, but a part of me wished to see them work out in a universe with kinder circumstances."

2020: "listen,,,,,,,,,,, i don't know what happened but on a whim i felt like thinking about hnr and it's weird how much i can pine and ache for a relationship even five years down the line. i suppose it's bc of the nostalgia. i feel it a lot in your words here. the way you describe how they remember things is the same way i feel when i read the manga so long ago. i guess it'll always be bittersweet but fics like yours make me realize that i'm not the only one feeling like that, if that makes sense? it's like soothing even if it hurts, haha. thank you so much for writing."

2022: "this is literally from 8 years ago but i stumbled upon it now"

2022: "i soooo wish you hadn't stopped updating this since 2015. i'm a shizume shipper and i was devastated that shishio-sensei didn't get back together with suzume in the manga. so, for this reason, i look to fanfiction to ease my heart and read the ending i want for the characters i love... i can only hope you somehow see my comment and that it inspires you to continue with this fic. for me, and other shizume shippers like me, stories like these that give hope are like oxygen."

2024 (responding to the comment above): "i still have a few chapters left with this, and hoping to end it with a few more. one day, i will post it. and i hope you will be there when i finally close this work."

some of these comments got a reply from the author, but a lot didn’t. maybe it’s too embarrasing to look back at something you wrote 10 years ago (why did I use those words to describe that feeling?), or maybe they’ve moved on from the characters. or maybe shizume still hits too close to home, and they’d rather not go back there.

anyway, today i got a kudo on an old fic. no one on tumblr is talking about hnr anymore, but i know for sure that shizume still haunts people. suzume and shishio are still out there, touching the hearts of old readers. the ao3 tag is all the proof you need.

[alarrytale]

Hi Marte, maybe you've already been asked this but I recently followed you so I wanted to know your opinion :) How do you feel when Louis attacks larries in his own account like twitter or saying harsh things himself? Because it actually broke my heart a little, you know. Like, thinking he sees us supporting him, seeing him and loving him for who he really is and still going ahead and treating us like that. I love him too much honestly and I understand he's closeted but couldn't he be less hard on us? It's been a while since the last denial but I was thinking about it and it really hit me again :( I also think he and Harry doesn't need to hint their relationship nor our extreme support like they used to while being in 1d but still, it's not fair to us, making us feel like this when we love him this much

Hi, anon!

How do i feel? Furious, enraged and disappointed. But i also feel pity for him, sadness and hopelesness. I hold grudges forever, and i'll never forgive what Sony/Syco did in Louis' name on the 16th of september 2012.

Everytime he lashes out at us, it's a heartbreaking reminder of how harsh Louis' closet really is, how far they're willing to go to closet him and protect Harry's reputation, and how little care and appreciation they show fans and fandom. It's a slap in the face each and every time it happens. It's so disrespectful, harmful and immature. I've experienced it time and time again, and it's become easier, but i still get furious and don't want to deal with Louis at all for a couple of weeks.

If "he" was less hard on us he wouldn't get the effect they want, wouldn't get the reaction, traction and attention they want for it to be enough to not have to repeat it for awhile. If he was less hard he would have to do it more often, and his words would be hollow, he'd look like even more of a homophobe and like a bitter bandmate if he kept bringing it up. So that's a worse option.

Nothing about this is fair. Louis Tomlinson tm doesn’t deserve his fans the way "he" keeps treating us. We don’t deserve this treatment. We have to remember who Louis really is to be able to stay a fan. He's gay, closeted by force, made to stunt with a kid, and in a relationship with Harry. He loves us larries and appreciate our support. He's doing what he can to minimise the damage done to fans and fandom, and to the kids and loved ones involved. Louis knows "his" behaviour is hurting his career, and that he's shooting himself in the foot everytime he has to do a larry denial. So many fans have left and he's so grateful for the one's still around who are able to look past his image and behaviour and see the real him.

I deal with it by not tolerating his behaviour, calling him out on it, taking a couple of weeks to calm my anger and then ultimately forgiving him because i know the circumstances of which it happened. It's a toxic relationship when the one you love keeps hurting you, but you keep loving them despite the treatment. So i never blame anyone for leaving or wanting to leave. I know Louis and Harry both need my support, despite acting like we're not wanted. There are things being done that i just can't support, no matter if H and L are out of choice. So i have found my own way to be able to stay a fan and support them, for now at least. That works for me.

[saintsir4n]

17

thank you for 10k views 

WARNINGS: SMUT, MENTIONS OF WAR AND ABORTION

1914

THE Shelby brothers had enlisted and Eden Dawkins wanted to kill them all.

"Why?" She finally asked after being silent for five unnerving minutes.

"We wanted to do it on our terms," Tommy exclaimed, watching her nervously as she played with her fingers.

He and his brothers brought her to the nearby park where they all used to play. It was vacant but her boiling anger was suffocating them all. John sat next to her on a swing, but Arthur stood next to a cautious Tommy.

"Your terms?" Eden repeated, folding her arms.

He stiffly nodded, "Our terms."

"What's Pol said?"

"Very little."

"Ada?" Eden asked, and that's when John took a good look at her, seeing how she glowed, despite her frustration.

"Wouldn't stop cryin'" John grimaced at the memory.

"John," Arthur hissed, Tommy just sighed.

"What? She did."

"Little Finn? I know Isaiah was bawlin' his eyes at last night when he woke up they were swollen," Eden stated.

"We're tellin' 'im later tonight," Arthur informed, averting his eyes.

She turned to John, "And Martha?"

"She smacked me, then cried," the force of the slap caused his head to whip to the side full force whilst his aunt consoled his crying wife.

"She's your wife, popped out a baby for you and now you're off to war, I don't blame her," Eden muttered, and John sighed.

"Alright Eden," he didn't want to feel guiltier than he already did. He was leaving his girls for however long. But it was his decision and there was no way he or his brothers back out of it now.

Eden stared up at Tommy, with a look he couldn't read, "My dad and uncle told me the same this mornin', that they enlisted as well, my dad vows, promises to my mum, well they don't mean shit anyways."

"Thanks, Eden," John grumbled, then stormed off, leaving Arthur to follow him presumably back to the house.

Tommy appeared in front of her, "Edie, love."

She stood up and softly shook her head, "Don't, give me time to think."

She didn't sound angry anymore, just hurt, there was so much on her mind, the baby was a big factor and how was she gonna raise a child when he was shooting the enemy at war? Is there any point in telling him now? Her mother asked her if she wanted to keep the baby, as did Polly the following Monday and she instantly said yes, but it was all before this madness.

Before all the men in her life were gonna up and leave for... a few months? What a load of shite, it wouldn't be that easy, it never was. Her father would be gone, a part of her world. She wouldn't cope if she ever lost him.

"Fuck, don't shut me out," Tommy ran a hand throw his raven locks, which continued to grow.

He would have to cut it again, fuck Eden stop thinking about it all. But she couldn't. It was real, it was gonna happen whether she wanted it or not. It's men's business. Fuck.

She sent him a sad smile, "I'm not, just thinking about more life-changing decisions."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He cupped her face, trying to read her, her comments hadn't been making much sense to him recently.

"Nothin' Tom, just give me some time alright?" She placed her hands over his, then caught the panic in his eyes, "And before you ask, I'm not leavin' you, I'm just thinkin'."

"Alright," that answer he could deal with.

But the fact he wouldn't be here to protect her made him realise how much he needed her to put on the pendant, to put his mind at ease, fuck her stubbornness.

His eyes couldn't look away from her, fuck she's beautiful, he did notice a glow on her face, the summer added to her beauty, he realised.

"Alright," she nodded.

"I'm sorry," he dropped his hands and tugged her closer, bringing her head to his chest, breathing in her scent, her everything.

"Don't be, I know it's been on your mind for a while, I could tell, I'm just... upset," she mumbled against his jumper.

She was surprised tears were not pouring from her eyes, her emotions have been all over the place recently, it's the baby, her mum kept saying and wasn't wrong. She remembered Martha being the same.

"I know, I don't want you to be," Tommy tugged her away, raising her chin so she could look at him, "I love you."

His tender words made her smile reach her eyes, "I love you too, just give me a minute, okay? I have work tomorrow, come by after that, we can talk."

It's good to talk, Tommy nodded and just pulled her back to his chest as they stood alone in the vacant park, listening to nothing but the cool breeze whistling in the air.

—

Sitting across from the Dawkins was Tommy Shelby. He decided he needed to talk and explain himself to them, properly and in person, and alone while Eden was at work. Luckily he got them as they returned from their shifts and after he got John and Arthur into the betting shop to run the business in his haste absence.

Cecil Dawkins wasn't forthcoming in the slightest, he never really took to the Shelby man and didn't think he was good for his daughter, and despite trying to convince both Celestine and Eden the same, it was like talking to a brick wall. Celestine claimed it was because she could see Mara in Tommy, the friend they lost not long ago, but Cecil only noticed the same trickster act Arthur Sr wore throughout Small Heath.

He didn't buy it then, he wasn't gonna by it with Tommy sitting in their kitchen.

Or at least that's what he told himself.

"You claim to love my daughter, yet you enlisted," he started, rolling his broad shoulders back and not taking an eye off the younger man.

Tommy immediately couldn't ignore the hypocrisy, "Aren't you doin' the same to Mrs Dawkins?"

Celestine made a face, "He's got you there love."

"Celestine," Cecil cast her an annoyed look.

Tommy leaned closer, "Your daughter sees me. I used to hate it. Now love it. Well, I hate that I love it."

Celestine couldn't help but be touched by his words, "Awww—"

Cecil cut her off, "Celestine, he beat up that poor boy, made our little girl cry more than she smiled and we're supposed to give her off to 'im."

Tommy narrowed his eyes on the carpenter, "She's not property."

Cecil craned his neck to look at him in disgust, "Are you gonna lecture me 'bout property?"

"Boys," Celestine was quick to interrupt, "Cecil, I know what he's done and now I'm seein' what he's tryna do for our girl."

Cecil already recognised the influences Tommy had over his daughter, one day she was adamant that religion wasn't for her and all of a sudden she came back with a black Madonna on her neck, well not so much anymore. He knew Eden had her own mind, but love was clouding it and her dreams, big dreams, he didn't want Tommy dimming them in any way.

"Eden came home cryin' yesterday, those Changretta boys have signed up and all, she found out 'bout through Dorris." Cecil informed, turning back to him with a frustrated look, "You ruined that friendship for her as well."

After suppressing another glare, Tommy averted his gaze as the guilt and the nerves took over him. He was trying, very very hard to make things right with Eden but he knew it was something she would always hate him for, even if she was in love with him. The looks he received from Cecil were only adding to that, piling onto the remorse.

So he nodded, and finally snapped his head up again, "I know, it's somethin' I regret, can't change the past now, need to focus on the future, my future with your daughter."

"Sound so confidant," Cecil muttered bitterly.

"I am."

Celestine blurted, "Thomas, you think you've made the right decision, what if Eden comes to you with some news of her own?"

"Like what?" both men turned to her in curiosity.

"Who knows," Cesltine quickly waved them off, but Tommy didn't glance away from her, "y'know our Edie, she's a mystery half the time."

"I know she is, but she's easier to read than I thought," Tommy said, still trying to decipher her previous question.

Cecil rolled his eyes at his response.

Tommy continued, "I get that I've done wrong by her, but I'll live up to the promises I've made her. I'm not perfect –"

"–got that right –" Cecil murmured, wincing at the pinch he received from his wife.

"– But I'll be my best for her, I'll give you my word, that I will," Tommy stated.

"A man's only as good as his word," Celestine added, half smiling at the younger man.

Now I see where Eden gets her forgiving trait from. Tommy thought.

Cecil bitterly snorted, "Thank you my sweet but I'm not worried about his word, it's his actions that I'm cautious of."

"I understand," Tommy insisted.

"Dont think you do," Cecil argued, waves of conflicting feelings washed over him.

"I understand that in all the years I've spent on this lane, you two are the only ones that had a functioning relationship. No domestics, no lyin' or cheatin' from what I've seen," Tommy remarked, "Just love, understanding and forgiveness. That's what I want with Eden."

Tommy pulled out the ring he wanted to propose to Eden with, making Celestine's face light up, Cecil remained unimpressed. He's been carrying the ring around him for days since he brought it, (more than the horseshoe) looking for the right time and day to ask. It was a simple ring, one he brought before Greta passed away along with one for himself.

Two wedding bands.

Tommy rubbed the back of his neck, "It's not much, I know, Eden deserves a lot better than me. She's your daughter and you'll do anything for her, what parent wouldn't? But give me a chance, another one, I already lost her once, and I can't do it again. She makes me a better man, a smarter man, and with her brains it easy to do that," Cecil couldn't deny what he was saying. "I'll make her happy, happier than she's been, I fucked — I mean messed up already, I'd be a fool to do that again. If I didn't respect you, I wouldn't be here, I would've just asked her to be my wife and she'd say yes because I know her, but I'm here, askin' for ya blessing Mr. and Mrs. Dawkins."

"Celestine," she corrected.

"Celestine," Tommy smiled at her, and she returned the gesture, it's just like my Edie's. Turning back to Cecil, hespoke clearly, "And if it goes to hell, then I'll put the revolver in your hands, with a bullet that has my name scratched across it, Mr Dawkins."

Cecil hummed, "Sounds good to me."

"Cecil," his wife scolded.

"Don't fuck up," he jabbed a finger at Tommy.

"Oi."

"I won't," Tommy nodded along.

Celestine hissed at her husband, "Watch your language."

Tommy did his best to conceal his amusement as he watched the two bicker, is this what me and Eden look like? Christ.

"Sorry my sweet," he cupped her hands, pressing a kiss to them, then turned to the younger man, about to say something he hoped he wouldn't regret. "You've got my blessin'."

Tommy let out a breath he didn't know that he was holding and shook his hand with Cecil's.

"And you, Mrs — Celestine, do I have ya blessin'?" He corrected, much to her excitement.

Celestine chuckled, "You had it before you walked in, Thomas."

Tommy finally smiled.

—

"Anythin' you wanna tell me?"

"Like what?"

Tommy knew Eden inside and out, he'd been observing her since they came to lay on her bed after she got home. How she wiped off her subtle make-up and got undressed, revealing parts of her that he believed to have grown or thickened, had him aroused but overall he knew something was different.

So after she wrapped her hair in a scarf, he sat down at the edge of her bed, ready to ask her some questions.

"Your mum said somethin' weird today, somethin' 'bout you might havin' some news of your own," he pressed, still confused by her cryptic words.

"I don't," Eden rushed out, internally cursing at her mother, despite knowing she meant well.  "Besides you're off to war," she added, knowing the gears were turning in his mind, but she couldn't have him asking any more questions, "you all are, how are we supposed to cope?"

Tommy took her hands in his, "It won't be for long, papers sayin' it'll be a couple of months and we'll be back for Christmas."

"As if you believe that," she muttered,  softly scoffing at the thought. It's a fucking lie, the papers are lying to them all.

"'Ave to believe somethin'."

She pulled her hands out of his grasp, "It'll be hell. We joke 'bout Small Heath bein' hell but this is hell, all the things we learnt in school and church– "

" – You barely went to church," he remarked, smirking slightly.

She rolled her eyes, "Tommy it'll be hell, I just know."

"Aye, then we'll need to return to our havens soon," Tommy spoke with a glint of glee swimming in his eyes. 

"Please don't go," he could hear the pain in her voice, it almost crippled him.

It was too late now...their papers had been turned in, and they would be shipping out to France soon.

Taking off his blazer, he slipped into bed next to her, turning on his side, so he could take all of her in.

"Love listen, I'll come back to you, sooner than you think," he vowed, "you can write to me, and by the time I come back, you'll finish that book you've writing."

She bit down on her bottom lip, "What book?"

He softly chuckled, "The book that's runnin' through your mind right now, you fuel it with whatever you set your sights on so you can put pen to paper."

"It's hard to do that when war is on my mind and has been on yours for quite some time," she whispered.

"I know," he nodded, "what'll make you feel better eh? Visit a medium and they'll tell you what's what."

Tommy was never a believer in fortunes, well sometimes he was but his dad was a trickster for a living, stealing horses and telling fortunes, Tommy didn't want to be tricked but he needed Eden to settle and she hadn't been for a while.

"Don't need to see a fraud like Mrs. Price or whoever to know what's what Tommy, you'll be gone for a while..." and who knows if you'll come back the same.

Eden sniffled at the visions flashing through her mind, she was pregnant and he would be gone. How big was she gonna get, how much would she change? All the dreams and wishes she had about having a big family, she always thought Enzo and Dorris would be there for her, all three of them together, but the former wasn't an option and the latter, wouldn't be much of a help, instead turn it into a big joke and that wasn't what she needed right now. She needed guidance.

Hearing the Changrettas were all aboard with this suicide mission, her old best friend was gonna get himself killed and she couldn't even get within five feet of him for her to tell him to stay at home.

Soldiers at bloody war.

"Does Finn know?" She broke the silence with a quiet question.

Tommy frowned at the memory, "He does. Wants to come along with us."

"Course he does, you're his heroes."

"I'll be yours when we come back," he countered, not wanting to think of his little brother crying and begging to come along.

"How confident," she muttered the same thing his father had done hours before.

He smirked, "Y'know me."

She nodded, "I do know you."

"Can I ask you somethin'?"

"What?"

"To put the pendant back on," he rushed out, narrowing his eyes when she sighed, "We're together now Edie, no point of you carrying on this act. You love me, I love you. What happened ain't in the past, I know that, I messed up, it fucked up your head and all, but listen I'm changin' and I can't leave 'ere with the thought of your beck bare."

Eden deeply sighed.

"I don't wanna rush ya —"

"Give it to me."

His eyes widened.

"What?"

"Give it to me, I'll put it on," it's for the baby, she wanted to be safe and careful with the pregnancy, especially if he wasn't gonna be there.

Tommy quickly pulled it out of his pocket, shocking her that he'd been carrying it around this entire time. He put it around her neck, just like how he did when he first confessed his love for her.

It looked beautiful and he couldn't stop smiling, she thought his face would have to hurt.

In all honesty, she did prefer it on and missed it so dearly, but she was a stubborn woman and wanted to be petty.

"Back where it belongs," he said aloud, trailing a finger over her cheek, "You look so fuckin' beautiful, y'know that?"  he loved her more than life itself, "Can't get enough of you."

She blushed at the look he was giving her, "Tom..."

"You're glowin' I don't get it. But I love it. Come here," he tugged her closer.

"No, I'm mad at ya," she didn't bother fighting.

"Good, the sex is better when you are," he stole a kiss from her.

"My parents are here," she gasped when he tugged at her nightie.

"Like that's stopped us," he started to undress, rushing to get his clothes off.

She gasped when he got into bed again, still in his undergarments, but she could see all of him fuck no wonder I'm pregnant.

"Tom..." she whimpered when he got on top of her.

His lips trailed up and down her neck, "If you're worried 'bout puttin' a baby in you, I won't, I'll wait for some here."

She fought a frown and asked, "So you don't want a baby now?" She asked and he pulled back.

"Not yet, when I come back, maybe when the business improves y'know?" He rushed out, standing up and going to the door.

"Right," she whispered, knowing now wasn't the right time to tell him. Fuck when was it?

"Come here," he grinned after shoving the door stopper under the door, so they wouldn't be interrupted, "I love you alright, now, I need to make it up to you, your parents know I'm stayin' over, so lay back and be quiet."

Her small breathy moans haunted him at night in his room alone. Touching himself, imagining how it would be when he had her all over again. He craved Eden like the very air in his lungs.

"You're not tired?" She asked, putting aside her confession and focusing on his hardened state, palming it, earning a soft groan from him.

"Of you? Never," his head moved all over her body, travelling from the hem of her nightie to the inside of her thighs, "surprised your knife ain't here, can't 'ave you stabbin' me."

He didn't need another incident with the flick knife.

She let out a breathy laugh, "I wouldn't... yet."

Eden dragged his face back to hers, enveloping him in searing kisses as his hands began shifting off her nightie, pulling it over her head, freeing her breasts, whilst her nimble fingers pulled down his undergarments, he groaned against her feverish lips.

"Fuck, you're everythin', ya know that?" He grunted at the feeling of her hands.

Tommy pulled back, trying to suppress his grunts and groans but he couldn't. He moved away her hand, wanting, no, needing to focus on her and only her.

His tongue teased her breasts, "'Ave these got bigger? They fuckin' 'ave."

It was something he couldn't deny.

"Oi, that hurts," she hissed, then panicked at the worried look in his eyes, "Avoid 'em for the night. Just feel a little sensitive, that's all."

"Y'sure?" she never reacted like that before "They look so..." Tommy trailed off, biting down on his lip at how big they were, "alright sorry," he quickly apologised, then was taken back by her roughly pushing him, managing to flip him over, "Fuck."

"Wanted to be to top," she murmured as his hands settled on her waist.

He needed all of her, she squealed when he sat up, still keeping his firm grip on her.

"By all means, darlin'," he groaned, watching her rise on her knees, "be on top."

Sinking down on him, they both groaned and gripped each other.

Eden knew she would have to find a better time to tell him about the baby on the way.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

a/n:

it upsets me that those who went to war only thought they would be away for a few months. i was gonna watch 'all quiet on the western front' but i don't wanna upset myself. never been a fan of war films but been hearing a lot praise from that one.

and yes i finally made eden put the pendant back on, just for the sake of the baby. she's a superstitious person, so it would just bring her comfort to know that she's safe and so is the baby.

also i didn't realise how quickly this book would take for me to write, honestly thought it would be longer but I'm glad it wasn't too heavy, or violent, but I've been enjoying it so much, i love eden and tommy.

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

finished the nevers 1-b!

aughhhhhhh, i wish they hadn’t so confidently ended as if a second season was going to happen! WHYYYYYYYY! WHY COULDN’T IT JUST END WITH AMALIA AND PENANCE BEING SCHMOOPY? frustrationnnnnnnn! (although i get that there’s no way they could’ve predicted the show would get THIS screwed back when they were still in production. you gotta try to swing for a renewal when you’re on hbo!)

i got SO attached to frank and hugo and i am pissed that hugo died. noooooooooooo! let them be happyyyyyy! i hate thissssssssss!!!!!!!!!!! hasn’t this show heard that we don’t bury our gays anymore??????? (I get that maybe james norton wanted out because he works so much, but shhhhhhh.) maybe i just immediately need to start writing a fic about someone rolling up on the scene whose new turn is bringing your recently dead boyfriend back to life. or maybe the galanthi seeds ship frank and hugo too, and one somehow falls on hugo and magics him back to life. yep. that’s where i’m at right now. MUNDI CAN’T HAVE BOTH HIS LOVES DYING TO BOOKEND THE SERIES! I REFUSE! I REFUSE TO HAVE HIS LIFE BE THAT SAD. also, foppish aristocrat + grizzled copper wound up being a really excellent shippy dynamic that i don’t think would have occurred to me! update: it’s possible i wrote my fix-it fic already. I HAD TO! FOR MY OWN PEACE OF MIND, & PEACE OF FEELS!

i really, really liked the twist of auggie going bad. the stammering, hapless, charming englishman trope feels like such a staple of whedon’s work (and just such a staple in stories in general), and i loved seeing it turned on its head. i especially liked the way that the penance/auggie dynamic sort of felt like a fred/wesley remix but through a more critical lens, and i like how it was starting to feel like an amalia/penance/auggie love triangle was starting to happen. but ugh, i reallyyyyyyyy wish we hadn’t ended the series on that hug. D:

kinda relatedly: you KNOW i was like, “horatio gravitating back toward his awesome wife and auggie being evil and amalia being bisexual means the narrative was totally setting up canon amalia/penance!” and now nobody can tell me any different, damn it.

all of the maladie/sarah stuff was riveting and so magnificently acted! loved her journey.

olivia goddess williams remains my favorite, even when she’s shooting an innocent space creature over and over.

amalia and her two past selves hanging out was excellently trippy!

i really liked the direction the show took in these episodes, i would have liked to see more of it. (but it would have required the magic resurrection of hugo swann, so maybe this is all for the best.) weary sigh! i really love all these characters and would have loved to watch them for much longer.

i still say reed diamond should’ve showed up as lavinia’s evil american boyfriend. sorry, denis o’hare!!!!!!

[lyon-amore]

The half of me Chapter 26

Chapter 25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In Colville things were moving much faster. People come and go as if they were late somewhere and there is much more noise. Although also in the noise I manage to find hidden sounds that could perfectly be urban music.    "MC, over here!" Jane calls me to approach the group.     I had distracted for a second, seeing why Daliah liked this place. Here nobody knows you because it is a very big place with so many people that nobody pays attention to you. At least I only have to go out in one scene even if I have to talk. I had to study my lines during the train ride. Why don't they just remove this scene from the script? I try to pay attention to Carter, even though I'm nervous. Knowing that I have to act unprofessional makes my stomach churn. Is it too late to go back?

I'm supposed to act like I'm mad at them, but I have a hard time. Besides, I don't know how to act! I sit on a park bench after missing take after take. I don't do it well. Why have they decided that I should act? Has no sense.    “You're doing great.” Grace sits next to me, smiling up at me.     I roll my eyes. I'm not doing it right. Why are she lying?    "I know you're trying to cheer me up, but this time it's not working" I answer annoyed ". Eliminate Daliah's character in this scene, use another actress or actor, I'm going home.” I get up from the bench to leave, but Grace stops me.    "Just as dramatic as your sister" she makes me sit down and grabs my arm ". What if you think of the moment that made you most angry and use it to act?"     The moment that annoyed me the most? Knowing that Daliah betrayed me and told Elliot everything, but using it on set? I don't want to be mad at her, it's not right. I'll use my anger against Elliot, which at least is more recent.    "That expression says it all." he lets out a giggle "Who made you angry?"    "Elliot..."    "Now hearing that name I understand everything" I see how he sighs exaggeratedly ". I never liked him when he was dating Daliah."    "That's..." I try to calm down, I don't want to sound angry while talking to her "Because maybe you noticed that he wasn't in love with Daliah..."     She stares at me surprised, understanding what I say. Now I feel guilty for what Daliah went through with him. She didn't deserve it. Maybe if I could back in time, I'd warn Daliah and… Maybe… No, I don't think I could… Because she looked so happy.    "Do you know what you need?" She smiles at me mischievously "A crazy night of partying" she gives me a little push, laughing ". My mother has a place, we can go after shooting the scenes, what do you think?"    "I don't know, I don't even have appropriate clothes-"    "I'll lend you clothes!" She exclaims quickly ". At my parents' house I have everything I need for when I come to Colville" I look away, uncomfortable ". Please…"     She starts looking at me like she's a puppy. With a sad face I guess... Maybe just for one night... I could find out how Daliah felt about being in Colville and see what really happened here.    "I guess so" I say resignedly ", besides, I want to know what happened to Daliah here."    "That will be complicated, but…" She starts to think, and then smiles "We always went to my mother's place, so since I'm going to take you there, maybe someone there who has known her knows something, okay then?"     I nod and she hugs me, excited. She laughs a little at me and she stands up, then looks at me.    "You'll see! You are going to have a death time!"     I am already regretting it. I listen to the phone and see that there is a chat between Carter and Mason. The two people I never thought would text each other. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-----Carter has connected-----

Carter How is Seo-ah? Do you know something?

-----Mason has connected-----

Mason No, he I mean, she Sorry, I didn't mean to offend her...

Carter Hey, calm down, you found out When she wakes up, you can talk to her about it

Mason Yes, I hope… Well, I can't be in the room right now The cops are watching her in case the killer comes back to kill her

Carter It's understandable

Mason I guess now I understand a lot of things...

Carter What do you mean?

Mason MC has told me that her father hates her So, I thought that the weekend that she didn't connect…

Carter She has to do with problems at home, right?

Mason Yeah…

Carter Well, not all parents are the same And now she needs us

Mason I wonder who could have left her in that state Who in our group has been

Carter I would love to know as much as you

Mason I don't think we know Ralph's or Grace's alibi

Carter Ralph with how high he goes is not capable of murdering anyone and Grace I'm not saying it was her just because I don't like her

Mason Aren't you friends?

Carter No, we never have been I was just faking it for Daliah She was the one who pushed us away when we went to high school

Mason I didn’t know it

Carter Yes, she changed her favorite friend because Grace lived a luxurious life, just the way she liked it

Mason Well, goes perfect with Daliah😕 Even though I expected it

Carter She wasn't always like you know her

Mason Oh The doctor comes to check her I'll leave you, I'll wait for him to come out

Carter Isn't it better that we talk? I say it because of the nerves

Mason No, I prefer it that way

Carter OK Will you tell us what the doctor says?

Mason I will Thanks carter

Carter You're welcome Mason For this we are the classmates 🙂

Mason 🙂

-----Mason has disconnected----- -----Carter has disconnected----- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I look at Ralph who has a bandage on his face. According to Grace, he got it by shaving because he had been smoking weed. Which makes me trust less now. Both Grace and Ralph have marks on their faces and the one who tried to kill Seo-ah must have a wound because it has been shown that she had broken nails from defending herself against them. The question is who should I trust now? Knowing that Ralph is involved in drugs, maybe he could be the killer. And we still haven't found any leads against Grace, I'm scared to suspect her, what if I end up making a mistake like I did with Richy? Like I not realize it was him? To think that Grace… It would be terrible. She was my sister's best friend. It would be a second betrayal.

We return to film the scene and I wait for my turn to say my line. I do what Grace has told me, remember an angry moment. I think of Elliot and what he did, but my mind goes to Daliah and all the secrets she kept. How she always told me to stay away from Jake. When she got in the way of Elliot and me. What Grace told me, that she didn't want me to come to Colville. These are things I didn't see until now, but now I see that Daliah liked to handle me the way she wanted. I clench my hands tightly, feeling all the rage inside me. I'd never been mad at her, but now…So much stuff has accumulated, just like with Elliot, that I want to get it out of her.    "Do you really think I'll listen to you?! This was all your idea! It's your fault that a crazy killer is following us! YOU BROUGHT US INTO THIS WHEN YOU DECIDED TO SUMMON HIM! “I push the guy who also performs with us, but I really want to push someone else. And is not even in the script "I'm leaving! I'm not going to be next!"     I walk away as I listen to him call me by my character's name.    "Cut!" Carter yells and stops walking, shaking for the moment. Exciting "Great, MC! That's what we needed!" I smile shyly and he approaches me "Do you think you can maintain this attitude for the following scenes?"    "Yeah, I think so." I reply, taking a deep breath.    "Perfect! Well, get ready." he look at the rest of the group and clap your hands "Let's go with the next take!     Grace gives me a thumbs up, giving me approval that I've done well. Well, it seems that in the end, acting doesn't seem as difficult as I thought.

When we finished filming, we started packing everything up. Jane approaches me with a smile.    "Carter and I are going" she tells me with a smile "are you coming with us?"    "I promised Grace that I would go with her to the place where her mother works." I replied as I went to collect the scripts.    "Are you going to that club at night?" I watch as she arches an eyebrow in surprise. I nod and makes a sound of surprise "I don't know if it's a good idea..."    "Why?"    "I don't know, I don't see you going to a place like that, MC."     Since I'm still feeling angry, I put the scripts in the backpacks with a zipper and look at her with a frown.    "And how do you see me then?" I cross my arms, annoyed "Come on, what am I like?"    "I'm sorry, I didn't say it in a bad way" she also answers me annoyed ", what's wrong with you?"     I bite the inside of my cheek until it hurts. Yes, the anger doesn’t go away.    "Sorry, it's just…" I sigh and push my hair back, trying to relax "It's sister business."    “I see…"     Carter walks over to us and kisses Jane on her hair, then he looks at the two of us.    "Are you two ready?"    "Yes" answers Jane ", but MC stays with Grace." I notice annoyance in her voice. Does she also dislike Grace?     Carter looks at me surprised and I ignore his look.    “Okay then” he says simply ". See you tomorrow then."    "Yes." I say sharply.     I see how they take some materials and leave with the rest of the group. I feel a push, a hug from behind.    "Girls night out!" Yells Grace "It's going to be great!"    "Okay, but I don't drink alcohol" I say, feeling uncomfortable. I don't think I like anyone else treating me this way except Jake, is that weird?    “Oh, don't worry” she tells me as we start walking “, you can ask for non-alcoholic drinks."     I adjust my bag better, following her.

Grace's parents live in the center of the city, where everything is even noisier and there are many more tourists. She opens the door to the apartment, revealing a pretty doorway with flowers and a mirror with a countertop full of photos. I take one and see that she comes out with her parents. A brown-haired man and a blonde woman, while a teenage Grace stands out in the center. I see that even the photo has a cut next to the man.    "And this?"    "This?" Grace takes the photo making a face "My good brother" she leaves the photo on the counter ", he cut it as soon as he left home, well" she lets out a laugh ", he cut all the photos he was in! But hey, I don't blame him."     I follow her as she continues walking, she even greets an employee and I do the same, a little more shy. She walks into the room and when I see it, I am amazed. It looked like a room of those movie girls who are rich.    "And now" she approaches some opaque glass doors and opens them ", my closet!” She says, posing.     I stare at how big it is. The clothes are separated by styles and colors, just like the shoes. I go in looking at everything, it could even function as another room.    "How is it that having this you decided to go to Rosenschwarz?"    "I asked my mother to go study at the Rosenschwarz institute because it was more welcoming to me" she answers, starting to look for clothes in the big closet ", and when I was able to move, I chose to live there because life is much calmer" she takes out a black strapless dress and looks at me ". Mmm… No, black doesn't suit you." she puts it back and she keeps looking.     She continued looking at the closet and I see that she has a section just for jewelry at the end. I recognize one of her bracelets. Daliah had one as a friendship bracelet with Grace. I run my finger over the 'BFF' on the bracelet.    “Wait” Grace walks over to me and places it on me ". There you go, we're friends now.” she says with a smile.    “Daliah had one too.” I comment, looking at the bracelet on my hand.    "Yes, I gave it to her" she hands me a dark blue dress with thinner straps ". These hit more with your eyes."     I pick it up and look at it. It's styled like it's wrinkled and it's shorter than I thought. More than Daliah's garments were.    "I don't know if this is for me." I reply, handing it back.    "Not at all, she tells me rejecting it ", at least try it on."     I take a deep breath and nod. She shows me the way to the bathroom and I go to change.

Seeing myself in the mirror makes me feel strange. The fabric is silk and very fine. Is this what Grace wears to go out? She knocks on the door and I get scared. I was too focused on the dress.    "How does it look on you?" She asks me.    "Well, I think…" I answer, a little unsure.     I open the door and Grace examines me.    "Shoes" she runs away and brings high-heeled ones the same color as the dress ". Take this one."     I feel like a Barbie right now. Like a human doll. I put them on and take a few slow steps. Ok, it doesn't seem very complicated. I stumble a bit and Grace laughs.    "Let's put them on with a little less heel." she leaves again and I take them off.     This is the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me. Not even with Daliah did I do these things. She was very careful with all the makeup and clothes when we were trying on something. When Grace returns, she hands me slightly lower heels.    "Now, the finishing touches."     She sits me down in her vanity chair and she starts doing my makeup. As I was saying, I am a human doll.    “Daliah and I used to do this on the weekends” she tells me, a hint of happiness in her voice ". I missed it..."    "Are you substituting me for her?" I ask awkwardly.    “No, how can you think of that?" She laughs "For me it was like having a sister, since it's very different from having a brother who doesn't care about makeup."    "Well... Not all boys like to be the model for her sister." I let out a laugh, I don't know what her brother must be like, but it doesn't seem like she has a grudge against him.    "Right" she turns me around and she shows me the mirror ". Ready, like a movie star.” She reaches out her hand and picks up a necklace hanging from the mirror, putting it on me. In it, a small pendant of a horse with diamond hooves ". The final touch. Well?"     I look at myself in the mirror, surprised. Grace is talented, no doubt about it. I look at the pendant. This Daliah would have hated, although I find it beautiful.    “You're amazing, Grace.” I tell her with a smile.    "I'm just doing my job." she strokes my hair, thinking "What do we do with this? Do you want something special?"    "No, it's fine like that-"    "I know! Let's curl it up a bit!"     She's not going to care what I tell her, isn't she? She is almost the same as Daliah. Both are the same. She warms up the curling iron a bit and starts using it on my hair. I look at her in the reflection, somewhat confused.    "Why do you do it?" I ask looking at her.    "Because I think that because of Daliah you missed a lot of things" I swallow as I heard her speak ". You didn't deserve take you away from all this, you know?" She places a lock of curly hair falling in front of me "I don't want to say this because she was my best friend, but she was wrong to do it, I would have liked you to come."     Her gaze seems far away when she says it. Almost expressionless. Then she smiles and continues to curl my hair as if everything is fine. As if what she had said hadn't hurt me. Daliah didn't want me to come because I guess she knew this wasn't about me, it was about her. Her and her show business. Then I feel the curling iron brush the back of my neck and I scream in fright.    "Sorry!" Grace exclaims "Let me see" she lifts my hair and lets out a laugh ". It's okay, you'll be fine."    << Has she done it on purpose? Is she supposed to have done this multiple times? Is she actually mad at me because I look like Daliah and it bothers her that she's dead and I'm not? Or maybe I think too much?>>     I try to calm down. This is getting more and more terrifying, like in a psychological horror movie. Are we still recording and are there cameras in the room?

Once ready, she calls for a man to take us. Her driver, she told me. I'm surprised again, Grace has a lot of fancy things, who would turn them down to go to Rosenschwarz? I look out the window, the night lights illuminate more than in the town and people begin to be calmer, as if they were relaxed. I seem strange observing everything as if I were a newborn beginning to see the world. I rest my hand on the glass and watch my hand. She has even painted my nails in a very delicate way, placing small stones on some of my nails. Tonight I look like a different person.

The car stops and I look outside. It's a lot more crowded than it was at Evergreed when Jake and I went to see Mike.    "MC, let's go" Grace warns me, tapping her on the shoulder ", or are we going to stay in the car all night? Not my plan, but if you want."     I blush with embarrassment and open the door. I had been observing everything in detail. Once out of the car, some people look at me as if they recognized me.    "Relax, they must be people who knew Daliah." Grace grabs my arm and greets the doorman, entering the premises.     It's an environment with bright lights and people dancing on the floor. It's quite hot, like it's in an oven. I could say that even more than Two Candles and from that place you could feel the warmth of the people, but here it is different.    "Come on, I'll introduce you to my mother!" Grace yells at me, dragging me to the bar.     I try to walk as best I can because of my heels, I can walk in them, but I can't run at her pace. There are people at the bar drinking and laughing, and I catch a glimpse of the woman in the photo. I'm surprised that's her mother. She looks too young.    "Mom!" She pulls me, approaching the bar "This is MC, she's Daliah's sister."     The woman looks at me like she's seen a ghost, but then she smiles. A feline smile. One as if she had seen something new.    "Let me see her" She grabs my face, digging her long nails into me. Her expression is serious, as if she doesn't like seeing me there ". Yes, the resemblance is incredible" she turn my face a little to see me from all possible angles ". She's just like a pretty doll, just like her sister." she smiles at me and let go of my face, to which I rub my hand, feeling a little sore "A drink girls?" She pulls out a couple of glasses and starts pouring a little whiskey into one of them.    "Oh, not me-"    "You're not going to get drunk just for one, sweetie." she tells me laughing.    "My mom makes the best drinks she ever has." Grace makes me look at her, turning me around as she holds me by her arms "You're going to freak out!"    "But I said that-"     I get a tap on her shoulder and I turn to see her mom drag the glass over to me.    "Don't worry, I didn't put too much alcohol, we don't want you to get drunk at your first party." she winks at me, amused.     I look at the glass doubtfully. I see that it has Coca-Cola. I takes it and smell, exactly, Coca-Cola as I thought. But I can slightly appreciate the hint of liquor. Grace looks at me waiting for me to drink and I take a small sip. Well, at least the whiskey isn't strong.    "I'm here if you need more." her mother tells us.    “Thank you mom.” Grace walks over to her and places a kiss on her cheek, after she pulls me away ". Let's have fun."     I take another sip following her steps. We stayed at a table, watching people dance. I dare not leave the glass alone. I fan out a bit, starting to get hot. I have the body on fire.    “Let's dance.” Grace begs me.    "Can it be when I finish the drink?" I ask, not wanting to sound like a killjoy.    "I'll take care of them now." Ralph approaches our table and leans on "How's it going?" he asks Grace, nodding at me.    "We're doing well" she answers, grabbing his arm ", and you?"    "What are you doing here?" I ask surprised to see him. I thought that these things were not going for him, that he was a loner.    "Grace told me you would be here." he tells me with a smile.     I don't know why, but I get nervous seeing him smile like that. I had never seen him like this.    “Well, no problem then.” Grace grabs my hand, dragging me onto the floor.     She encourages me to dance by moving my arms first and then I try to imitate her. Her movements are like an expert and she laughs when she sees that I look at her to imitate her. We then call the attention of some boys who approach us and with a look, she tells me to do it. I don't know why, but I accept, I mean, I'm not going out again more than this day. I let the boy dance with me, placing his hands on my hips. I smile at the tickle of his breath and let him kiss me. I kiss back fast, almost as if it were a necessity, and then pull away, feeling my throat dry. I need to drink.    "Do you need a new partner for the dance?" Ralph asks me, looking me up and down.     I get a little dizzy when I finish my drink, it must be that I'm not used to drinking.    "No, why?" I look in the same direction and see him dancing with Grace and the other boy "Oooooh…. I think I'm left over." I say with a laugh.    "I've brought another drink" he tells me, dragging the glass to the table ". Courtesy of the owner of the place."    "Thanks." I said that I only wanted one, but hey...     I take a sip and hear Ralph laugh.    "You say what am I doing here" he tells me, getting closer to me ", but what about you? This site is more for girls like Grace and Daliah."     I shake my head, starting to find myself a little strange.    "I only came because Grace asked me to" I reply, looking into his eyes "Don't you like this song? You want to dance? I need someone to dance with!" I laugh, taking his hand to drag him onto the floor with me.     My whole body feels nervous, agitated. It's like I want to let it all go, but in my head, there are little hammering sounds that make me dizzy. But I don't want to stop dancing. That's what I feel. And all the people start to blur around me, except for Ralph, who is in front of me, looking at me. Stand still. While I dance, feeling strangely happy. That's when he stops me, bringing his hand to my waist. We walk back and I can't stop laughing, until he raises his hand to my face, squeezing me hard. Maybe it's because of the drink that I end up letting him kiss me. The boy who always kept his distance from everything, dares to kiss me. And I forget for a complete moment what I was doing, kissing back, like it was the most important thing at the moment. I run my hands through his hair, pressing his body against mine, noting how he separates my legs with his knee. I feel too hot right now.

One moment…

Wasn't he Grace's boyfriend?

Boyfriend… Boyfriend… Me… Someone special to me…

I react by remembering what is happening and noticing a hand up my dress. I push Ralph away and look at him, not knowing what to say, bringing my hand to my mouth, wiping it clean. My head is hammering me, everything is spinning. I see his eyes, which instead of a light blue tone, seem almost dark, like the night, and I am terrified. I start by breathing hard, starting to get away from there. What did I just do? What have I done all this time? My attitude... Wait, I've kissed another guy before! Why have I done it? What's happening to me? The alcohol? Is that? Is it the whiskey? The more questions I ask myself, the more nervous I get, leaving the room gasping for breath.

There is no one to ask me if I'm okay or if I need help. Nobody cares about me. I put a hand to my throat, having trouble breathing. I look around and start to walk, but where? I don't know where I am or in what part of the city this station is. I look at my clothes. It chokes me that it's so attached, but I can't get it off. The feeling of wanting to vomit when remembering what I just did in the local returns. I feel awful, that wasn't me, was it? No, no, no, no, no…    "What do I do?!" I ask myself, unable to breathe "What do I do, what do I do?! What am I supposed to do?! I've left Grace alone! I don't know where I have to go!" my heart begins to beat fast "Call! Yeah! I have to call!"     I know that people on the street look at me like I'm crazy. Maybe I just look like a poor drunk. I grab my phone from the bag Grace lent me and use the call command on Nymos, but I fail writing it several times. So many that in the end it's Jake who calls me.    "MC?" Hearing his voice I get nervous, remembering what happened "What is wrong?" I can tell from his voice that he is worried. He knows something is up.    "I don't know where I am!" I reply quickly, wanting to tug at my shirt sleeve. But I remember I'm not wearing any, so I just pinch myself " Everything is spinning! Everything is wrong! It's like it's fast! And I can't breathe! And-"    "Okay, calm down." his voice sounds a bit calm, but I can tell he's nervous. Because of me " Where are you?"    “In Colville!" I shout back.    "Why are you in Colville?"    "I was in a nightclub with Grace and suddenly I don't know what happened! I... I don't understand anything! I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! But everything is bad!"    "What street are you on now?" I can hear his heavy footsteps behind the phone.    "I don't know! I can't read it! I don’t know what's happening! I can't read the letters! They move! Everything is going fast!"    "Sit somewhere you can, alright?"    "I'm very scared, I'm having a hard time breathing-"    "I will try to locate you, stay on the phone to keep talking."    “Okay."     I sit on the floor in the corner, positioning my legs comfortably. I want to vomit right now everything I've drunk. It's like I've been on a carousel that doesn't stop.    “Good, located, I am going.” he finally says.     I nod and notice a shadow blocking the light from a streetlight. I look up and see a man standing there looking at me.    "Are you alone?" he asks me, with a strange smile.    "MC?" I hear Jake on the other end of the line "Get away now!"     The guy grabs my arm and I scream scared.

*Jake POV*

   "MC! MC, ANSWER!" I yell before the call hangs up.     I hurried down to the street, starting the bike. I look at my phone and try to memorize the route, even though I know I will have to stop to see the other half. I hope to arrive on time!

I arrive and find her surrounded by a group of people, while she is hugging herself. I get off the bike and walk over, looking at her. She has dilated pupils and I can see that she is sweating quite a bit.    "Are you alright?!" I ask nervously.    "We've been keeping her company" says a boy from the group ", she gave a guy who was harassing her a good heel on the head, so we stayed to take care of her."     MC nods, resting her head on my chest. I try to calm down, hugging her.    “Thank you.” I tell them, feeling relieved that they took care of her.     In the rush, I do not wear a mask, I was too worried about her that I did not care if I put it on or not.    “Your girlfriend isn't very good at taking substances” the girl next to her says ". Whatever she's taken is going to last her a couple of days."    “Jake” MC calls out to me, then laughs “, I made someone bleed."     I frown upon seeing her change of attitude. On the phone she was nervous. I make her look at me and I can see that she smiles looking at me.    “Come on, I will take you home."    “No, not home.” she answers, hugging me tighter.    "Anyway, we're going now" the group says goodbye, leaving us alone.     I try to move MC a bit to move her away, examining her better. I see that she is different. It doesn't look like her. She looks more like her sister.    "Can you walk?" I ask still worried.    "The question is can I breathe?" She says between laughs, and then ends up crying, hugging me "I'm sorry… I don't know what's wrong with me! I'm so sorry, Jake!"    "Calm down" I whisper, stroking her hair ", you are going to sleep as soon as we get home."    "No, I don't want to" she places her hands on my face, smiling ". Let's do it in that alley, I'm hot."     I sigh looking at her fearfully. I do not know what she is taken, but I do not like this MC at all.    "Alright" I reply so that she would listen to me and thus move her towards the sidecar ". we will go to the alley, but first we will go home."     When I get her into her seat, she put her hands to my pants, wanting to unbutton them. I stop her and she laughs. I squat down next to her, caressing her face.    "Come on, a quickie" she says between laughs ", don't you like it that way? Am I not attractive? Don't you want to fuck me hard?"    “You are high."    "Yes, a little, but I don't know how if I've only had a Coca-cola with a little bit of whiskey" she leans back, looking at the sky "And if you come in and we'll have it here? It's small, but I'm sure you'll fit" I see how she starts rise up her dress and I stop her "Come on Jake! Fuck me!"     I put a hand to her face, not wanting to hear her say those things. It is not her. How did she manage to get high like this?    "Yes, yes" I answer without further ado, getting back on the motorcycle ". Right now I am going in and we will have it in there."     She lets out a laugh and, more out of her concern than mine about getting a ticket, I put the helmet on her.    "Hey, I can't see you like this." she replies annoyed.    "You will thank me if we have an accident."    "And can I go with Daliah?" She ask with a touch of joy in her voice "So I can discuss with her everything she has done!"     I shake my head, hoping this will pass soon. Tomorrow she will have to explain many things to me.

We reach the flats and I remove her helmet, carefully lifting her up afterward.    “Pull your foot out slowly.” I say quietly.    “Jake, the ground is spinning” she says awkwardly “. I think he's drunk."    "Yes, the ground is drunk-"     She cuts me off by kissing me, placing her hands on my face. I take her hands and lower them, placing them on the sides of her body.    "MC, no." I say seriously.    "For once I take the initiative..."    "Believe me when I say that I do not want it this way." I sigh, taking her hand, making her walk slowly ". Come on, go to sleep-"     She raises her hand as if to stop me and vomits. I gather up her hair, not bothering me if I got splashed. I care more about her than my clothes.    "Jake, what's going on?" She asks me scared "I don't feel well."    "Look at me" I make her look at me, she still has dilated pupils and her skin is on fire ". Do not worry, as soon as you get some sleep you will feel better."    "I'm sorry…"    "It is okay, love" I kiss her on the forehead and she laugh ". I am going to watch you so that nothing bad happens to you, okay?"     She nods and leans into me. We walk slowly to the door and trying to open it, Rudy comes out with garbage bags, looking at us.    "What's wrong with her?" She points to MC "Was it you? You bring a drunk girl home?" She asks me starting to get angry.    "No, I do not-"    "He's my boyfriend, Mrs. Ogre" says MC and I look at her between surprised and scared for her life "and you'd better speak to him well, he's a very dangerous guy."     Rudy raises an eyebrow, like I am to blame for what ahe said.    “I will take her to bed right now.” I say as quickly as possible, stepping into the portal.    "Yeah, it'll be for the best before she says something she'll later regret." Rudy warns me.     MC turns and walks towards her, and I go after her.    "Can you believe that he didn't want to fuck with me?" She asks him, tongue tied "He's an idiot!"    "Or too smart." Rudy looks at her and shakes her head.    "Come on, MC." I push her away and we go straight to my apartment.    "To fuck!" She yells happily.     We walk into the apartment and I reach down to take her heels off of her.    “Hey, this is so daring.” she says between laughs ". I'm going to take off my panties."    "No!" I stop her and she pouts.    "Why?" She caressed my hair carefully "Don't you love me anymore?"    "Of course I love you." I carefully take her to the bathroom and sit her on her toilet.     I grab a towel and start wiping the vomit off her face. It pains me to see her in this state.    "Wait a minute." she raises his hand again, turning to face the toilet.     She opens the lid and vomits. I gather up her hair, stroking her back. She begins to cry, sitting down on the floor. I crouch down next to her, stroking her hair.    "It is over" I whisper, as kiss her head lovingly ". Tomorrow you will be fine."    "Do you promise me?" She asks me, looking into my eyes, although it doesn't seem like she does.     I inhale and nod. MC smiles and rests her head on my chest, falling asleep. I took her in my arms carrying her to the bed. I put one of my sweatshirts on her and gently lay her down, then bring a bucket from the kitchen in case she vomits again. Whatever she is taken, I feel like she's going to be like this all night. I see her tremble and I bring her closer to me, so that she stops feeling cold.    "You are safe now" I whisper, stroking her hair ". Do not worry, I am with you."

Chapter 27

[diary-of-a-recovering-party-girl]

Never has a political event affected me that much and I don't even know why [17.10.2023]

Today was the second day of uni. I was tired all day because of last night's insomnia and maybe also because of the Melatonin I took. Yesterday evening I took an (warm so expensive) bath and started watching "A Quiet Place". I love having the flat for myself once in a while.

Today at uni there were none of the people in my courses that I really like. I think people there think I'm rude because I don't really interact with them. I'm only really friends with M who is in Belgium right now and luckily I'm not so lonely anymore that I spent a lot of my time with people I don't really like anymore. But I kind of have the feeling that it makes me appear cold.

I liked the math lesson and I was happily surprised at how much I still remembered and understood. Originally, I was going to meet with Y in the evening to have a big wine-fuelled debrief about my Portugal debouchery but she canceled. Usually, I would feel sad and disappointed but I was honestly fine because I a) feel like I might need some space from them like I said the other day and b) felt kind of excited to go home, organize my study material and then go on reddit and watch porn.

Just before though, I picked up a new bike I bought from ebay. I finally have a bike again, my new baby! I felt so happy driving home in the cool Berlin autumn, finally on a bike sattle again!

After sorting my university papers, I went on social media and of course ended up watching something about the recent news about Gaza there. As much as I try to withstand it, political events, especially of this scope, seem to have an irresistible pull.

Then, I read numbers again. Saw pictures. Got sad. Got angry. Saw pictures again and started crying.

Never ever has any political event affected me this much, not the 2016 election in the USA, not any other shooting or terrorist attack, nothing that ever happened in Germany shook me to my core like these recent events in Gaza. I don't know if it's because of the sheer number of people or because it involves a music festival or because my friends hold such a different opinion than me or because I haven't watched any news in years and am not desensitized to terrible news anymore, but I feel like each time I read about it, my heart breaks again.

I started downloading pictures, because I want to print them and put them up in the city. First maybe in my university, because I'm scared of confrontation and conflict from it. But this dull powerlessness is unbearable, I feel horrible sitting at home and doing nothing, I feel like I will explode. I want to do something, do my part, represent the people that think and feel and grieve like me.

I'm already scared of it.

[matan4il]

hello alice! it’s miya here & yes it’s been a hot minute since i’ve been in your ask box! i recently just had 3 surgeries that were basically two in my nose & then i had to get my tonsils out again so i’ve essentially been recovering from that & not in the mood to talk mostly. I do however hope all has been well with you.

since the finale is right around the corner, I wanted to talk to you about buck’s growth this season. we know in the beginning that buck was upset about not getting picked as interim captain despite the fact that he was not clearly ready, the couch theory & how actually death experiences can reset all the progress you’ve made.

i’ve see a lot of folks saying buck has regressed back into old habits & i’d say that’s not true. Buck agreeing to be a donor in the beginning was something he did because he’s buck but the influence around him saying yes was mainly what connor said to him about him being such a good person & what not. now after he dies buck realized he can’t live based off of how others see him & make decisions solely off of that which is why things quickly ended with natalia. i thought it was funny how she said she needed a minute to think & not 10 seconds later she left 😭. Buck didn’t necessarily chase after her for the sake of getting her back but i think he wanted her so badly to understand & it’s like there is already someone in his life who understands & sees him for who he really is and that’s eddie. it’s hard to see someone who buck may feel like kinda has to accept him for all he is cause that’s his best friend as a potential partner but i think there is a possibility we might see that in the finale.

we know the entire 118 is in danger, now granted we have no idea what that means & since we logically only have 45 minutes to tell this story, there is a possibility of things not being completely wrapped up. i wanted to also point out that the only two people (technically 3 if you count chris) who know that buck does not have a couch is Bobby & Eddie. two important people in his life who buck would quite literally lay his life down for. Buck told eddie that “maybe he does not want to pick the wrong couch again” & then he later on told bobby that “im afraid im gonna keep on making the same mistakes” it’s clear buck wants to go about things differently but it’s a matter of how?

i think he was on his way there but then he died and suddenly life got confusing for him. sometimes i think people downplay the fact that buck’s heart stopped & how he genuinely felt like he got away with something when he woke up in the hospital. of course he is going to go around making the most of life. now the way he goes about it may not be the way we want it to happen but it does make sense for bucks character. he wants to treat every waking moment as a gift & that’s things are a sign cause he feels like he’ll never get that lucky again & that’s ultimately very sad.

i think we’ll definitely see buck in s more bigger leadership position next monday however the biggest difference is that his team will be a witness. his team doesn’t know how buck took charge when the tsunami happened or how he saved eddie’s life during the shooting & i’m still on the fence of if eddie knows that. i hope they see what he’s capable of but I hope buck see’s that he’s already had these skills in him it was just a matter of tapping into them.

the couch theory idk.. they have been making it a point to show buck, chris on the couch & then chris and eddie with a space open for one more as if we wouldn’t notice but idk we will see. maybe buck takes eddie home after everything & he falls asleep on the couch after putting chris to bed & everything kinds of falls into place

anyways sorry for my rambling. i have had all of this on my mind for a while lol but again I hope all is well with yous and that life has been treating you good. ❤️

Hi darling! OMG, 3 surgeries? That's so much, especially over such a short period of time. I hope you're doing better now? And thank you for the kind words and for caring. I'm not doing so hot at the moment, but hoping it'll get better. *HUGS*

TBH, I'm not sure what I think. I do expect the finale not to wrap everything up, because they have so many balls they've been juggling up in the air, the bridge collapse will take up a huge part of the ep, so I really don't know how much they can condense into this and address all of the threads that they opened this season. I do absolutely expect that there will be circles that they'll be closing, like Buck moving from feeling dejected over not being considered for the position of interim captain in 601, to acting as captain in the field when the 118 (with Bobby) goes down. And since 601 linked Buck figuring his own life out enough to be able to take this position by linking to the metaphor of the couch, I very much expect to see some return to that, although all may not be resolved in 618. Kind of like how 414 gave us the talk between Buddie to resolve Buck's immediate sense of guilt over seeing Eddie getting shot in front of his very eyes, but it didn't resolve the "make sure you follow your heart" thread that was opened in 413. Eddie still needed to go through it at the beginning of s5 in order to choose himself and be able to break up with Ana in 503. Similarly, Buck was just starting things out with Taylor in 414, and he needed all of s5 to break up with her, even though it was clear they were wrong for each other from the start, and especially as their first kiss was born from Buck's distress over Eddie getting shot in front of his own eyes.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me! I'm looking forward to screaming over 618 with you once it airs! Sending tons of love and good healing vibes to you, lovely. (as always, here's my ask tag) xoxox

[creativecuteness]

One of a Kind Vamp Chapter 1: Multi-fandom Madness

Summary: A Rainy day at White Chapel is perfect for a lazy day of watching TV and indulging in hobbies with a good friend. Or Dakota wants to know what other interests Rory has other than Sci-fi.

(I know nothing about Star Wars and Star Trek so that's why this chapter doesn't follow the full prompt.)

“Hey, Rory, what are you into?”

Rory’s focus on the TV was shattered as he turned his attention to his best friend, Dakota Natalie. It was a mundane afternoon, a calming rainy day where Rory didn’t feel like leaving the house; not even Benny or Ethan felt like leaving the comfort of their warm beds. deciding today was a perfect lazy Saturday, and for once, Rory agreed peace and quiet was a rarity in Whitechapel. It was insane that the supernatural was living under their noses this entire time, and now that they got a taste of it, it seems it’s became unable to leave them alone—not that he minded. Becoming a vampire was one of the best things that has ever happened to him; however, that doesn’t mean he’s forgotten what it’s like to be normal like today.

Watching TV mindlessly: Check.

Popcorn and other snacks nearby: Check.

A best friend by his side who loves him more than anything: Check.

Dakota recently moved into town a few weeks ago and has become glued to Rory’s side since day one. He was very well aware of the younger girl’s crush on him, and if he was being honest with himself, he was thrilled to finally capture a girl’s heart with his irresistible personality, even if there was a ton the two didn’t know about each other yet.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you. What did you say?”

Dakota, who was lying upside down, righted herself and looked at him. “I asked, What are you into?”

“Oh, that’s easy. I’m a huge Star Trek fan, though Star Wars is pretty cool too.”

“Well, that I know, you and Benny debate about it all the time; I rarely hear you talk about anything else. Surely you have other things you’re into.”

Rory smiled; he knew Dakota wasn’t a sci-fi fan or a Marvel or DC Comics fan. (To be fair, she always gave the blond Magical Girl vibes. He had to ask if she’s a fan of that genre.) But the fact she was interested in knowing what he was into made him grin ear to ear. It felt amazing having a friend who generally cared about his interests, even if she didn’t hold the same opinion.

Sure, Ethan and Benny did care; they’re best friends for a reason; however, they’ve known each other for so long that they know the ins and outs about their hobbies, favorite games, favorite shows, and even music tastes. So, it was nice to indulge in his latest obsessions with someone new, plus he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t interested in the things that caught Dakota’s eye.

“Well, you already know some of my top picks. I love sci-fi, superheroes, comic books, and video games. What else do you want to know?”

“What type of video games are you into? Shoot ‘em ups, RPG’s, racing games?”

“All of the above, really.” Rory replied, “Depends on the theme and controls, and I guess an engaging story helps too. But I’m normally cool with anything that catches my eye. What about you?”

“Well, as you know, I am a huge Kingdom Hearts fan, but I also love the classics like Mario, Kirby, and Pokémon. I never really got into Zelda and don’t like shoot-em-ups. However, I guess I’m like you; I like whatever catches my eye, regardless of genre.”

“What about TV shows? Have you ever engaged in any fandoms?” Rory wondered,

Dakota shook her head. “I lurk around at times and have dabbled in the fanfiction side of things, but I’ve never actively engaged in conversation over it. In fact, I tend to stay away from shows that have toxic fanbases. It ruins the show to the point where I can’t even touch it. As for the types of shows I like, it depends, but I prefer comedies. I hate crying in front of people, so I tend to stay away from anything that might be sad. The same goes for movies.”

“I feel you on the toxic fanbase thing; I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten into arguments online over the stupidest things. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t chat on those sites anymore.”

“What about fanfiction?”

Rory tilted his head side to side, “Sort of, I wrote a few self-insert fic’s when I was younger, but I’ve never posted anything. You should see my old stuff; it’s pretty cringe I don’t think I have the skills to write anything better. Plus, all my energy is focused on school right now.” The teenage vampire looked around to make sure his mother wasn’t in earshot and leaned close to whisper, “Not to mention keeping my vampire ninja identity a secret.”

Dakota burst out laughing. She knew how much Rory loved his new quote on quote superpowers; it was fun seeing all the creative ways he could take advantage of them. Not to mention, extremely adorable.

“Hey, do you know what cosplay is?” Rory questioned, forcing Dakota to calm her laughing fit.

“Yeah, I think I’ve heard of it; it’s like dress up but more detailed and expensive; do you do it?”

“No,” he stated simply, “I wish, but money for the material is way too expensive. Plus, with the DIY aspect of it, I could never I can’t even sew.”

“Emily or Cindy could help you with that. Emily’s really good at making clothes, and Cindy’s been known to dabble with it too; she’s great at the finer details, like smaller stitches.”

“Doesn’t Emily hate me?”

“She doesn’t hate you; she just hates the fact I have a crush on you."

“That doesn’t really help, but good to know.”

“Sorry.” She smiled sheepishly.

“Don’t worry about it; hey want to head up to my room and rock out to some music?”

“Sure! Whatchu got?” Dakota sang with a wink,

“Have you heard of the band Single Tear? They’re a heavy metal band I’m super into.”

Dakota grimaced, “Oh, I know them. Emily accidentally blasted one of their songs at three a.m. She was editing her vlog when the headphone wire fell out of the jack. Scared the living daylight out of us. Can’t say I’m a fan.”

And Rory couldn’t blame her in the slightest. “Yeah, their stuff isn’t for everyone. Do you have an artist in mind? I mean, aside from Alvin and the Chipmunks, which I’ll totally listen to if it means I can see more of your dance routines.”

Dakota blushed, feeling touched that Rory was becoming their biggest fan, but there was a different band she had in mind. “There is one band I wouldn’t mind listening to. You ever heard of the band Gorillaz? Emily and I stumbled upon them a while ago, and I’m obsessed. I cannot stop listening to them; they’re so good, man!”

Rory’s eyes lit up. How could he not know them? they were a favorite of his too. “Yeah, I know them; I didn’t think you’d be into that style of music.”

“Honestly, I didn’t either. But they’re so addictive, I can’t stop drumming on my knees whenever I listen to them.”

“Well, what are we doing sitting around here for? Ready to rock?” Rory asked, holding his hand out,

“Am I?! I’m ready to rock roll and lose control, my beloved.” She grinned, taking Rory’s hand, and he led her upstairs.

Sure, the two had different interests and may not have had the most in common, but Dakota never judged him for his geeky hobbies or brushed them off as weird or a waste of time. And for that, Rory was grateful to have such a chill and easy-going bestie.

Not to mention, knowing him better gives Dakota more reasons to add to her ever-growing list as to why she loves him.