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mieohmy · 3 years

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𝖳𝗐𝗈 𝖯𝖾𝖺𝗌 𝗂𝗇 𝖺 𝖯𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 | 𝖧𝗎𝖺𝗇𝗀 𝖱𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗎𝗇

PAIRING: best friend! huang renjun x reader

GENRE: fluff, angst, humor, best-friends-to-lovers, childhood-friends-to-lovers, university! au, best friends! au, matchmaking! au, coming of age au

WC: 4.9k

NOTES: none ?/

SUMMARY: in which the universe gives you five quite obvious signs that you should be dating your best friend, but who said it was going to be that easy?

⇒ part of the five days a week special.

#ONE. you met as little kids by fate.

(or so that’s what you liked to say.)

It was always a pleasant memory to reflect back on when you met your best friend of more than 10 years, huang renjun. You were two peas in a pod, there was never one without the other. Even now, many, many years later where you’re simply two best friends attending college together, barely getting by each day, you never fail to tell the tale to others with a sparkle in your eyes, a fond look on your face.

Back then, little five-year-old you didn’t have to worry about your studies, your bills, your life. Things were a lot simpler.

The only thing you had to worry about was the other kids at the playground. Your mother was chatting away with the other moms, only checking up on your existence every once in a while when she occasionally remembered.

Then (and to this day, you still remember what happened so vividly) lee haechan -that little son of a gun- made some stupid remark about your hair, and what else would a five-year-old do but cry?

And when none of the other kids did anything, only laughing and giggling with a cocky little haechan in the middle of them, you cried even harder, getting up and running away from this horrible place.

You weren’t really sure where your tiny legs took you, but you continued your escape, tears blurring your vision.

When you finally came to your senses, finally stopped crying, and only left with the sniffles, is when you properly looked at your surroundings.

It was suddenly much darker outside, the sun already disappearing and stars preparing for their entrance. And you found yourself in a dark alley, tall, looming walls trapping you on either side.

It was empty and deserted, and you felt the solidarity closing in around you.

Unsure what to do, you kept going on, walking down the dark and dangerous alleyway, scared and afraid.

You called for your mom and dad.

Once. Twice.

Nothing.

The tears started back up. A sudden noise- until now, you’re still not sure what it was, maybe a rat?- startled you, and then the fear really began to set in again.

You sat down in the middle of the alleyway, shaking and scrunching your face up in despair.

Then a crunch sounded from behind you, and you spun around frantically, eyes glittering with unshed tears.

It’s not what you expected.

You didn’t expect another kid to be looking back at you. And a completely unfamiliar one at that too.

He stared down at you, an unreadable expression on his face. The boy looked around the same age as you, give or take.

But how did he also get here?

You finally spoke up, voice small. “H-how did you find me?”

He sighed, shrugging and kicking the ground with his foot. “I’m not sure. I just moved to this city so I wandered around. and then I forgot where I was and ended up here.”

You wiped away your tears. “So you’re lost too?”

He simply nods.

“I-I don’t know how I ended up here. I was just at the playground.....” New tears formed at the corner of your eyes as a pout began to settle on your lips.

The boy huffed. “Crying isn’t going to do anything.”

There’s a silence. Which was followed by increasing sniffles.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry! Please don’t cry.” He grimaced, looking around.

“Don’t worry, I’ll find us a way out of here.”

“How?” You wailed.

“Well... I actually don’t know....”

You cried out for your mom again, sitting on the cold, hard ground.

The boy panicked, scratching his head. “Here, uhh, what’s your name?”

You managed to say your name between sucks of breath.

“Here, y/n.” His voice was smooth and soft, comforting. He squatted down next to you, hand holding out an unfamiliarly shaped object.

“What is that?”

“Candy. From my old home. And it’s really yummy.”

“But,” he continued, “you can only have it if you promise to stop crying and come with me.”

You immediately sat up straight, wiping away the wetness again for the nth time. “I promise.”

He smiled and unwrapped it for you, placing it in your palm. You quickly placed it in your mouth, enjoying the tangy taste flooding your senses. You giggled, looking back up at the boy.

He got up from his knees, holding a hand out and beaming at you.

“Don’t worry. I’ll protect you.”

“But.....” you trailed off, instead opting to just take his tiny hand.

You never forgot the gleaming look in his eyes as he pulled you along, warm hand wrapped around yours. You never forgot the blanket of safety and security you felt, just by being at his side.

And when your parents found you two soon after with the police, scared and worried to death, you realized you never asked his name before they took you away to the safety of your home.

But there was no need.

Four days later at school, your teacher introduced a new student to your class.

You immediately sat up straight in your chair once you got a good look at who it was.

It was him. The voice, speech, -everything was the same.

“My name is Huang Renjun.”

You echoed his name in your head, wishing to store it safely in the depths of your heart. And when the teacher gestured for him to join the rest of your class, you eagerly got up-the first one might you add-walking over and holding out your hand with a toothy smile.

“Nice to meet you, Huang Renjeon!”

“It’s renjun!” he immediately snapped.

Your face fell.

Renjun sighed, taking your still extended hand.

“Nice to meet you too, I guess....”

And from then on, you would’ve never guessed how much he would mean to you in the years to come.

#TWO. you guys somehow have the same interests and hobbies.

Coincidence, perhaps? Or a sign?

You both found out pretty early on that you shared a lot of common interests- drawing, singing, whatever you did, Renjun did too. Well, maybe all interests and hobbies except for one of your newly developed ones.

Renjun has no clue when it started, perhaps it was right after school started back up again? Or maybe after thanksgiving break?

Either way, your new hobby was getting on his nerves.

If your best friend suddenly started setting you up with random girls, wouldn’t you be a tad annoyed too?

Yes, sometime in the first half of school-Renjun couldn’t help but shudder- you started playing matchmaker.

“Instead of bothering me, you should get a girlfriend or a boyfriend,” you insisted. And he declined.

Renjun couldn’t help but wonder what brought this on. You had never done anything quite like this before, it was utterly confusing.

When he asked, you simply stated something along the lines of-

“In all my years of knowing you, I’ve never seen you have a crush or been romantically interested in anyone.” (He rolled his eyes at that.) “It’s like a fun quest... I’m on a mission to find you a compatible partner!” (He double rolled his eyes at that.)

And today was no different.

Renjun pushes the door out from your shared art class, holding it open for you.

He checks the time with his other free hand. “Do you wanna go to the coffee shop down the street? I know your test isn’t for another two days.”

You grimace, walking along the sidewalk next to him. “I don’t know, I still feel like I don’t understand anything at all....”

Renjun squeezes your hand, which you didn’t even realize had grabbed yours. “Come on, y/n. You need to take a break. I can help you cram tomorrow.”

You scrunch your face in disbelief. “Really?”

Renjun blinks twice, a sure sign that you quickly picked up on when you were younger that he was, to be frank, straight-up lying in your face.

“Of course.”

You scoff, head tilting to the side for a couple of seconds before focusing on him again with a smirk on your face, a lightbulb going off in your brain. Renjun silently gulps.

“I’ll go with you if you go out on a date with my new friend.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, he groans, stomping his foot and running a hand through his hair in frustration. “Again with the dating? You’ve set me up on at least seven- and none of them have worked out!”

“Yeah, and because of who?” you mutter under your breath.

“What?”

Your head snaps up, and you quickly shoot a smile to appease him.

“Nothing, I promise you’ll like her. Even though we just met, she’s super nice- she’s into the whole alien conspiracy too!”

Renjun’s eyes bore into yours, unmoving. He tries his best not to break- no matter how hard it may seem.

“Please?” You pout, bringing your face closer and closer to his.

He fakes a disgusted look, although the reddening of his ears says otherwise. Letting out a sound of protest, he skillfully avoids your intense gaze. “Alright, alright! Geez, if it makes you happy then I’ll do it.....”

You laugh in success, a bright, clear sound that rings through renjun’s body, before taking his hand and dragging him along down the street.

✢

“He can just come home and stay with us!” Your mother’s voice filters through the phone from the other end, insistent and no-nonsense tone making you sigh and your voice come out hesitantly.

“But mom.....” you bite your lip, spinning in your chair in circles, a perfect representation of how you currently felt.

Her indignant voice cuts back in. “What’s wrong with renjun living with us for the break? He’s practically family!!”

There’s a pause.

“Why? Did you two fight? Or do you not like him anymore?”

You sit up rigid in your chair. “What?! No- it’s nothing like that...”

“Well, then tell him he’s free to come and stay at our house.”

You grumble in defeat, saying a half-hearted goodbye before hanging up the phone.

Don’t take this the wrong way, you would love for Renjun to live with you and your parents for spring break- especially after he revealed he couldn’t go back home to his parent's place that was like at least a 4-hour drive- but that meant seeing him every day.

And seeing him every day meant you basically had every chance to tell him- something you’ve been hiding from your best friend for months now.

It definitely wasn’t easy keeping a secret from renjun- your best friend who knows almost everything about you, but you would say it was a pretty big and important decision.

Not to mention the fact that it would completely alter your whole relationship with him.

✢

“Renjun!!!!” Your mom practically squeals, engulfing him in a tight hug. You watch from the side, unamused.

“What about your own child?”

She rolls her eyes, ushering the both of you into the brightly lit house.

Renjun drags his suitcase past the threshold, taking in the view of the familiar house that he hasn’t seen in so long, or that hasn’t changed one bit either.

“You can stay in y/n’s room, right?”

You jolt upward, two heads turning to your mother with wide eyes and dropped opened mouths. “What?”

Your mother crosses her arms. “What? I thought you two slept in the same room all the time?”

“When we were younger....” Renjun mumbles.

“You guys have been best friends for so long and you suddenly can’t share a room?”

You pinch your nose bridge, puffing out a breath of frustration. “Alright, alright, Renjun can stay in my room.”

You lead the way up to your bedroom, pushing open the door slowly. You’re not sure what to expect- nothing’s really changed after all. Renjun smiles at the sudden wave of memories washing over him, all your old photos and things kept in your room still in the exact places.

“It’s the same.”

You nod, laughing softly. “Yeah, you think I underwent a dramatic transformation or something? Not under your watch.”

You walk over to a middle school photo of you two, the cringey phase still not set in yet, laughing and giggling at the youthful versions of you.

You make a quick joke at your awkward hairstyle back then, turning to catch renjun’s reaction.

He stares at you with a soft smile and a hidden, deeper meaning shining through his eyes, and it catches you off guard.

When he finally notices the sudden change in the air, snapping out his daze, your mother’s voice cuts through the silence, a commanding shout calling the both of you down for dinner.

You decide to clear your throat, stiffly gesturing for him towards the door so you two can go down to eat. You don’t mention it, and neither does Renjun.

After dinner, which was just formalities and boring catch-up, you decided to head up back to your room to get ready for bed.

You collapse on your bed with a sigh, feeling content with a full belly after stuffing your face with home-cooked meals as Renjun stands awkwardly to the side.

“If you want... I can sleep on the ground. Your mom gave me blankets and pillows so- uh, yeah.”

Your eyes fly open, staring at the ceiling conflictedly.

“I guess so.”

There’s a painful silence as you get ready for bed.

Renjun sets up a temporary makeshift mattress on the ground, muttering a quiet goodnight as you flick off the light switch.

Then it’s dark. And you can’t sleep.

It’s been perhaps 10 minutes since you turned the lights off? And there’s not a single inch of sleep in your body.

Your body keeps tossing and turning, mind wandering off to unimportant (read: very important) things. Like your best friend sleeping on the cold, hard ground.

And suddenly you can’t take it anymore. You let out a loud huff, sitting up in bed in a ruckus.

You stare at the dark figure on the floor, now alarmed, and turned around at the sound of your outburst, staring back up at you in the dark with a curious look.

You roll your eyes, scooting over to make room in the spacious bed for one person -and just barely enough for two.

“You thought I was really gonna let you sleep on the ground?”

“Huh?”

You don’t say anything, just patting the space next to you.

“Get over here.”

He waits for a second before hesitantly and slowly getting up, like frightened prey in front of their predator.

You open the covers, welcoming Renjun in with a more content sigh, already feeling warmer and suddenly sleepy. It's a tight squeeze for the both of you, but it just feels right.

On the other hand, Renjun wills his body to relax. He marvels at how you seem so calm and nonchalant sharing your bed with him.

To renjun, sharing a bed was a memento of your trust. It was you at your most vulnerable, and still, you were comfortable with letting him in- even if you used to do it all the time when you were younger.

“Goodnight, renjun.”

He swallows. “Goodnight.”

And when he confirms that you’re asleep, the only sign of movement was through the slow rise and fall of your body, renjun finally whispers the one, two, three words before joining you in dreamland - the truth inside him, the truth that’s practically killing him.

✢

Your mom places a plate full of tangerines on the table for you and Renjun, the bright, appetizing fruits gleaming in front of you.

You stare at the plate, not moving, even when Renjun picks up one for himself and starts peeling.

Your mom frowns. “Why aren’t you eating one, y/n?”

You shrug, placing an elbow on the table for your chin to rest on. But before you can say anything, a hand appears in front of your face.

You blink, a neatly peeled tangerine suddenly comes into focus, held out in front of you.

Your head whips to the side. Renjun rolls his eyes, nudging the tangerine closer towards you.

“Just take it. I know you’re too lazy to peel your own anyways.”

You suddenly feel warm under the gaze of your mom, taking the fruit from him with a small thanks.

“You guys are so cute.”

You raise an eyebrow.

Renjun and you share a look, turning back towards your mom. It wasn’t strange for her to say something like that- she always made those kinds of comments about you two, but the way your mom said it this time seemed.... different. like it held much more meaning to it.

“What do you mean?”

She suddenly laughs, shaking her head with a content sigh.

“Nothing. It’s just a shame you have to leave us so soon. You’re really gonna miss them, aren’t you renjun?”

He stops chewing immediately.

“What?”

Your chair moves out from under you with an abrupt, harsh screech as you stand up with wide and panicked eyes, chest heaving.

Renjun gets up as well, boring holes into you with an intense and confused stare. “What is your mom talking about, y/n?”

You’re not sure what to do, your heart thundering and blood rushing in your ears as you glance, conflicted, between your mom and Renjun.

You catch her raising a hand to her mouth, shocked but still bewildered. “You didn’t tell him?”

Renjun’s eyes never left you once. “Tell me what, y/n?”

You wish you could’ve said that you sat back down calmly and explained everything to Renjun- everything you’ve been hiding from him.

Instead, you can only cringe as your legs move on their own accord and take you blasting out from your house in an escape.

In other words, running away from your feelings.

Until somehow, you find yourself at the local library, bursting through the doors without a single regard for the closing time and signs decorating the doors.

All you needed was to escape.

But renjun would never let you do that.

You hear his footsteps echoing yours, attempting to keep up with your furious pace.

“Y/n-stop running from me!”

You don’t say anything, ignoring his words and pushing past the countless bookshelves.

Until you reach a dead-end, the books staring back at you almost tauntingly.

“Y/n.” His voice echoes from behind you.

“Please look at me.”

You clench your fists, attempting to breathe in and out steadily, but your voice still comes out small and strained. “What if I don’t want to?”

“Please... for me?”

You curse your best friend- you could never resist him.

Slowly and reluctantly, you turn around to face Renjun.

He states at you, so concerned and almost hurt, it makes your heart clench. “Y/n...”

You close your eyes, inhaling and exhaling once more. “You’re right. I should explain. But first, I think we should go to a more appropriate place...” you mumble.

Keeping his mouth shut, Renjun tersely nods and attempts to open the door. (Note: attempts)

#THREE. you somehow get locked in a library together. alone.

Renjun groans, falling back on the ground with a thud. His previous attempts to get the door open failed- obviously.

How could you be such an idiot to forget that the library closed at 6pm? Which was around the same time you- in a flurry of emotions- ran past the doors with Renjun hot on your trails.

And that was probably how the automatic doors locked right as the clock struck 12, meaning your fate was completely sealed in.

You slump to the ground, hopeless with no phone or any way to contact help since you ran away in such a rush.

Your voice comes out dead, monotone. “Give up renjun. No one is going to find us until the library opens back up in the morning...”

He gives one last shove, one last fruitless attempt before making his way over and collapsing on the ground next to you.

A tense silence falls over the room.

Renjun waits patiently. He tries, gives it at least a couple of minutes before he can’t take it anymore, and calls your name out again.

You bite your lip, knowing this was inevitable.

Taking a deep breath, you start quietly, already knowing exactly what he wanted, and so rightfully deserved.

An explanation.

“Basically... I applied and got into a program overseas that I really wanted. Which means in the summer, I’ll be leaving for at least a year.”

“Or maybe even longer if it goes well,” you lamely add.

He waits for a beat.

“That’s all. I would’ve told you earlier, but I didn’t know how long I would stay and... I didn’t know how to bring it up to you.” You whisper guiltily, fiddling with your hands and knees brought up to your chest, head bowed.

Renjun feels numb.

Is this normal?

Is it normal to feel this way?

Because the only thought running through his head is- how will he even be able to live without you? Without seeing your cute face at least once a day- or making random jokes to make you burst laughing or that only the two of you understand?

Your smiling and cheerful face brightening up his day? Your jokes and quirky banter that always keeps him on his toes? You, who’s always been by his side since you were little kids playing tag on the playground?

He can’t help but wonder, barely finding the words.

“....then what was all the setting me up with random people all about? Why do that when you’re about to leave me behind without even saying a single word?”

You inhale, voice small.

“I wanted to find you someone else like a partner so that you wouldn’t be lonely without me-“

“I wanted to find you someone who could keep you company so you wouldn’t be thinking about me too much. I didn’t want you to be lonely.” you say, voice cracking.

What you truly and honestly meant was-

I don’t want to see you move on from me and forget me while I’m thousands of miles away. So instead, I went ahead and tried to find a good person to take care of you, one that I believe is best for you.

Or in other words, I didn’t want to get my heart broken by huang renjun, so I went ahead and did it on my own.

Your eyes blink back unshed tears, not understanding why it hurts so much to think about your best friend with someone else, why you don’t want to give him up so easily.

Them living the life that you never knew you wanted with renjun.

I want you to find someone who cares for you and needs you the way I wish I could-

who loves you the way I wish I could.

“That’s why I tried to pair you up with a good person- someone who wants you as much as you want them.”

You exhale shakily, trying to avoid eye contact or catch renjun’s reaction.

“But what if they’re never going to be who I want?”

You hesitate, confused and wondering if you misheard him.

“W-what?”

He finally gets the chance, and the sudden confidence to say what he's always wanted to say. What he's been too much of a coward to admit before.

“I love you.”

“And anyone else you try to match me up will never be enough because I only want you,” he continues.

You can barely speak up. “Huh?”

He doesn’t respond, only coming closer with his eyes full of unspoken emotions, forcing you to stare back with your glimmering ones. You swallow, confused at what he’s doing but weirdly entranced, simply watching as he brings a hand to tilt your chin up.

Renjun asks silently with his eyes, a question to confirm that you’re comfortable - that this is okay and what you want.

You nod, barely a perceptible one but it’s enough for him.

#FOUR. he kisses you.

Your eyes widen, body stiffening. And then Renjun quickly pulls back, worried at your lack of a reaction.

You don’t give him a chance to say anything though, as you pull him back in by the shirt, properly expressing your emotions this time through your lips.

And he gets it, reciprocating with every part of his body.

It feels so right.

This must be it.

You like your best friend. No, you’re in love with your best friend, even if you knew it before or not.

✢

Eventually, you were able to talk it out and come to an understanding. (as well as escape by calling out for help and getting an unsuspecting passerby to dial for help.)

The next months spent with him were the best days of your life. It was spent exploring new feelings, new experiences that were different from before, living your life to the fullest with your loved ones, and counting down the days until you had to leave.

You talked about long distance. And the difficulties that came with it.

But in the end, there’s an unspoken understanding between you two.

Until the day finally comes. The day of your flight across the world. The day you leave it all behind.

Your parents already shed their tears the day and night before- including today. You give them one last hug, enjoying the safety of their embrace one last time, before pulling away to face your best friend.

Your best friend, your boyfriend, your lover, the one person in the world that means everything to you. Your renjun.

You smile, tears brimming your eyes as he engulfs you in his warmth.

“I promise I won’t ever forget you.”

“I hope not,” he jokingly whispers back and you hit him softly.

Just slightly pulling back, noses barely touching, he stares at you with adoration evident in his eyes.

“I promise I’ll always love you. One day.”

You echo his words.

“But you know,” you start teasingly, “I could just mess it up and then come back quickly-“

He squeezes you. “If you did that then I would personally go over to where you were and break up with you,” he threatens.

Rolling your red eyes, you add, “ don’t start getting over me and dating others too soon.” He shakes his head playfully, eyes brimming with tears that were just waiting to overflow.

“I love you, huang renjun.”

“I love you and always will, y/n y/l/n.” He whispers back.

One last hug, one last kiss before you’re released.

And with that, you’re in the car on the way to the airport, taking off with his heart.

This is it. You’re going away.

Away from your loved ones, and away from your home.

#FIVE. you find your way back.

You originally planned to keep this a secret, but overexcitement led you to spill the beans to your parents.

But you desperately pleaded with them to keep it a secret from everyone else (meaning- your best friend)

The overseas program was wonderful- a great experience that you never regretted accepting, and you learned a lot.

You learned a lot about what you missed back home, and what you really needed.

It was a good choice. Maybe even the right choice- as it made you discover your true self and priorities.

Still, it was horribly difficult to communicate with others because of the time difference, work, and busy schedules, all of which you already expected. But you finished strong, and now you were finally able to return after 2 years.

The excitement courses through you, you can barely make it out of the car and back to your house.

As much as you want to see renjun, your mother makes you visit your close friends and neighbors to inform them of your return.

And at the same time, you feel anxiousness and nervousness brewing in your stomach. All the worst doubts and possibilities ring through your head-

What if he doesn’t want to see you?

What if he moved on?

What if he isn’t..... your best friend anymore?

Nonetheless, you head out, and after a few stops, you can’t help but drive to your former college, hoping for a chance to see renjun.

You had no idea what his schedule was like- if he still even attended this college, but there was something in you that desperately hoped he was indeed here.

Brushing past unfamiliar people, most probably underclassmen that you had no interest in, you walk around the old campus, all the places still the same to you.

You smile when your eyes fall upon the building where your shared art class with renjun was, the best memories spent together coming back. But what you didn’t expect was to catch onto a pair of very familiar and recognizable eyes.

Ones that locked immediately onto yours.

You can’t resist breaking out into a wide smile from cheek to cheek, hand raising up in a greeting.

Renjun can’t help but break into an elated grin, stopping in his tracks.

Even when he was more than 10 feet away- with what seemed like a hundred other students passing in between, it felt like there was nothing in between you anymore, nothing blocking your path to each other. Sure it’s been two years, but it doesn’t feel like anything’s changed.

He lifts his arm, grip tightening on his bag as he returns a wave with his other hand.

And it truly hits him. You’re here, you’re back, and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

You found your way back home.

a/n- aaa here’s the first installment to the 200 special! thank you to anyone waiting for being patient <3

taglist: @skrtbabe @bluejaem

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 4 years

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I would love for you to talk more indepth about the montage. To me it feels so off and weird. Almost like a parody? So many scenes in it are "funny" moments that just don't make sense in the context of an emotional overview of the road so far... (Like all the scenes where Dean is eating, Donna with donut dust on her face, Sam getting hit during the game show.) I don't know. Isn't the montage supposed to make me nostalgic, teary-eyed? This one definitely doesn't do it for me!

Here I am! Yes, I absolutely agree. The montage is Weird(TM). It’s kind of a tone rollercoaster. It’s very full of funny/silly moments, with some serious moments smacked in. And it definitely looks like... there’s something about it.

For an easier consultation I will reference the gifs I have made of the montage sequence here.

[Gif 1] It starts pretty much like I’d expect a Supernatural goodbye montage to start. The two brothers meeting for the first time in the pilot, a reminder of their childhood with John, their banter still from the pilot, a couple moments of them driving in the car in the first seasons, Dean saving Lucas in 1x03 which is the first Dean-heavy episode and also an extremely symbolic moment for Dean’s entire journey - just think at how Lucas as a mirror was still relevent during the “drowning” Michael possession arc. Everything feels normal so far. We’re starting from the beginning! Now--

[Gif 2] Interesting and weird choices start here. Them pretending to be high school teachers from After School Special 4x13 - actually a very iconic moment for the fandom, remember that post of Dean in shorts from that episode that you had to reblog when it came on your dash? (Actually I’m not sure if I ever reblogged it lol.) Dean celebrating getting young again from The Curious Case of Dean Winchester 5x07 (and Jensen showing off his agility). The two of them showing their FBI badges to Jesse Turner’s biological mother in 5x06. Dean mowing the lawn of Mary’s house in the Djinn dream and immediately after Jess and Sam kissing also in the Djinn dream, from What Is And What Should Never Be 2x20. Then Dean after killing the witch when he was under the memory loss spell, in Regarding Dean 12x11. Sam happy when they celebrate Christmas in A Very Supernatural Christmas 3x08. Them being “lucky” under the effect of the rabbit’s foot in Bad Day At Black Rock 3x03. Sam also happy in Baby 11x04.

Again the present, then the montage starts again with the water-related ghost from Red Sky At Morning 3x06, a Bela episode, and then Bela herself from her first episode, 3x03 again.

What do these moments have in common? Not all of them, but for many of them I’d say reality being manipulated. The Djinn dream, the rabbit foot, Dean’s aging, the Antichrist... and it’s not over yet. Also, them pretending to be teachers, agents etc - not “real”.

[Gif 3] The tone suddenly gets more serious and relevant to current events: Chuck in The Monster at the End of This Book 4x18 (eh). Death in Two Minutes to Midnight 5x21 (the first appearance of Death, while now we’ve had Billie’s last and a very short-lived new one), and then two major moments from Lazarus Rising - Dean emerging from the grave and finding the handprint on his shoulder. Crowley’s first episode, Abandon All Hope 5x10. Zachariah’s death in Point Of No Return 5x18. Anna from The Song Remains The Same 5x13, where she is the antagonist having been brainwashed successfully by heaven. Michael burning and Sam jumping in the cage with Michael in 5x22, then another moment from 4x01 (the brothers hugging after reuniting). A moment from The French Mistake 6x15 (reality fuckery again!). Sam in Frontierland 6x18.

[Gif 4] Reality fuckery continues with Becky marrying Sam in 7x08. Funnily enough, this is the peak of Becky’s obsessive behavior which she went to therapy for and grew away of - it definitely emphasizes how far Becky has come. Donna’s first appeance in 9x13. That iconic shot of Dean in Bloodlust 2x03 because he’s pretty. Charlie’s first appearance in 7x20 while she dances to Walking On Sunshine (relevant?), Kevin’s first appearance in 7x21 when he becomes a prophet (lots of firsts). Abaddon’s first appearance in As Time Goes By 8x12. Then there’s the first appearance of the bunker, in the next episode, a couple shots in fact. Then more 4x01, Ruby pretending to mistake Dean for the pizza man (eh). Then more present...

This section seems to be mostly “first appearances” - including Ruby’s s4 meatsuit, i.e. Genevieve’s first appearance.

[Gif 5] We suddenly jump to more recent events with Kelly and Jack in heaven in Byzanthium 4x08. Jack’s iconic hello from 4x16 Don’t Go In The Woods. Dean teaching Jack how to drive in 14x07 Unhuman Nature. But then we suddenly go from Jack things to something completely different on the surface: two consecutive moments from Changing Channels 5x08, including the iconic Nutcracker scene, and Sully from Just My Imagination. We are actually back to the previous theme: reality fuckery. Gabriel’s episode was about placing them in “television shows”, Sully, while real, is literally a child’s “imaginary friend”. And then... a moment from the cartoon part of Scoobynatural! It doesn’t get more reality fuckery than that. Oh, wait! Charlie and Dorothy going to Oz in 9x04. That’s a pretty strong contender. Dean being hit in the face by a fairy in 6x09 - also about a realm Dean briefly went to. And, in case we felt like we hadn’t gotten enough 4x01 yet, Pamela’s first appearance (her last, albeit a hallucination, was about the whole “How come you only want what you can't have?” thing).

[Gif 6] We continue again with a mixture of firsts and weird things. Ellen’s first appearance in 2x02, Dean and Cas in 4x18 (we saw Chuck from that episode earlier), Jody’s first appearance in 5x15 Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid. Rufus in 6x04 Weekend At Bobby’s (not his first but a good episode...), Garth in 9x12 Sharp Teeth (not his first but the first in which he is a werewolf and is married... relevant to recent lamp events??), Missouri in 1x09 (her first appearance).

Then Gabriel from 13x21 Beat The Devil (an episode where he plays a trick on Lucifer) and Rowena from the same scene (in fact a scene where they’re flirting). Then Eileen coming back to life in 15x06 and smiling at Sam. Jo flirting with Dean in 2x02 - her first appearance, again. Funnily enough, she had been introduced as a love interest, but ended up being repurposed as a sisterly figure. Tempted to say it’s relevant in an ironic way. Mary in 14x11 Damaged Goods, when Dean has a goodbye mother-son moment with her. Amara in 11x09 Oh Brother Where Art Thou when she was looking for her brother. Then Lucifer in two different vessels (12x07 Rock Never Dies and 12x21, when Lucifer regains control over the vessel).

Then Metatron doing the find a wife make babies speech to Cas in 8x23! Relevant??? Dun dun dun. Then Ketch for some reason (the first episode where we see his face, 12x08 LOTUS).

[Gif 7] Then Jo/Anael in 13x13, another first appearance. (I cropped these horribly I should have cut them when the present happens lol.)

Sandwiched between two shots from the present, Dean Sam Mary and John having dinner together in 14x13 Lebanon.

Then we start again with Dean riding Larry in 12x11, Dean and Cas dressed as cowboys in 13x06 (mini pattern here...), Asmodeus with the archangel blade in 13x13 (insert meta about Asmodeus in Christian lore here), and the really intriguing “Intermission” shot from the play in 10x05.

[Gif 8] To continue a certain pattern we might be tempted to see, Dean eating piecake from 14x06 Optimism (an episode about a distorted version of romantic love), then Dean eating noodles from 10x13 Halt & Catch Fire (the ghost is a husband that passes on thanks to his wife). Dean after his dentistry session with Garth in 15x10. Meg from 6x10 Caged Heat (the episode with the pizza man porn). Dean and Sam investigating in 4x12 Criss Angel Is a Douchebag (an episode about growing old poorly). Crowley in 10x16 Paint It Black (that episode). Dean playing that game in 14x17 Game Night (the episode Cas calls for God, and when Mary dies - the one playing the game was God...). Sam and Dean getting out of the car in 13x05 when they visit the traumatized kid (peak mourning Dean episode...). Then we go into reality fuckery territory again with 14x15 Peace of Mind, Sam under the psychic’s control and Cas disgruntled about it.

[Gif 9] Mick Davies from 12x16 Ladies Drink Free, when he learnt a lesson about monsters. Dean geeking out about the Hatchet Man - so heavy with mirror significances - in 14x04 Mint Condition. Belphegor - Jack’s dark mirror - in 15x03 The Rupture, the break-up episode. Donna’s first episode again, this time Dean and she eating donuts. Dean, Sam and Mary hugging in 12x22 after the confrontation in Mary’s head. Kaia in 13x09 The Bad Place, when Jack uses her to find the way to where Mary is (Mary pattern?). Claire&co rescuing Jody and Donna in 13x10 Wayward Sisters. Dean in 1944 dresses as a sailor in 11x14 The Vessel. Baby nyooming in 15x11 The Gamblers...

Aaand more Changing Channels, the genital herpes ad. It’s almost like reality fuckery is a theme. Followed by Sam drinking the anti-cold concoction at Garth’s in 15x10 and the two of them outside the monster fighting pit in the same episode. Then Cas, Dean, Sam and Jack on a video call with Ketch in 14x09 The Spear when they talk about the egg to trap Michael.

[Gif 10] We stay in the same episode with the four of them heading to Michael. Then the four of them celebrating Jack’s return to life (after Cas’ deal with the Empty). More present, and then the iconic “we’ve got work to do” [trunk closes] moment from the pilot.

So: some of these moments seem like genuine moments you’ll want to put in a montage, but there’s a weird predominance of characters smiling and looking happy or goofy. It’s kind of... not exactly representative of the show as a whole, you know? There are moments that fit as, you know, iconic steps in the story, but surprisingly few, and many moments you’d expect to be in a “final” montage are blatantly not there. Several moments with, let’s put it like this, suspicious meta connotations. Moments that, well, we don’t know what happens in the finale yet, but smell like they might be relevant to future developments. (Metatron’s speech to newly human Cas anyone?)

What really strikes me is the amount of moments connected to reality being manipulated or distorted in some way. Lots of Changing Channels, fantasy elements of various kinds (the Djinn dream, Scoobynatural, Oz, the imaginary friend Becky’s wedding to Sam, the fairy, ...), them acquiring luck (s3) or losing it (s15), and so on. It’s almost like the sequence is telling us something...

Thoughts?

#anon #my spn thoughts #spn meta #spn 15x19 #spn

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markftmingi · 5 years

Text

the mc pres : johnny seo

SUMMARY: an au in which two people run into each other after 5 years but they aren't the same people they used to be...

PAIRING: mafia leader!johnny x teacher/single mom! reader

GENRE: angst, suggestive themes, and some smut.

WARNING(S): this isn’t fully written ok this is a unfinished piece i did like almost two years ago so its kinda bad and skips around but i wanted to post it anyways lmao, swearing, slight smut but it’s more of like a flashback of when it happened(?)

WORD COUNT: 2797

"okay everyone, class dismissed," you announced, smiling.

the class, individually, walked out of the classroom. your assistant and best friend, qian kun, stood by the door to say goodbye to the students. some said goodbye to you too, some didn't. you were too tired to notice who said what. you did notice your favorite two students walk in once everyone left.

one of two being mark lee. mark has been one of your students for the past 3 four years. you didn't know many of your students' personal lives but he had a public reputation. he's a member of the biggest motorcycle club in all of south korea. you didn't know much about the gang but you heard the roar of the motorcycles go by your apartment everyday. mark's feared by everyone here... except yourself, kun, and lucas. you all knew he was too much of a goofball to really hurt anyone. then there was lucas. he's the same age as mark so you had him as a student for 3 years too. he was taller than mark and a lot more scarier. the 6'0 young man was a selective mute who glared at everyone who even glanced at him. lucas gained a reputation as fighter in his freshman year after he nearly beat a senior to death when he was being made fun of. the next day, lucas walked in with mark sporting matching leather jackets with NCT stitched across the back. when kun came in two years ago, lucas tried to scare him off. luckily, kun wasn't the kind of person to be easily scared. they were both chinese, shy but had horrible tempers. after a heart to heart with him, he let his guard down around you and kun.

“you look horrible,” lucas said once he fully looked at you.

mark slapped his shoulder, “she doesn’t look horrible... the bags under her eyes do.

"leave her alone guys... they're designer bags." kun joked, making the two boys laugh.

"i'm convinced you all hate me." you said playfully, undoing your hair.

it had been pinned into a tight bun all day, giving you a headache. you also kicked off your heels as well - the daily ritual after school.

"i don't get how you deal with kids all day." mark questioned taking out his homework.

"you're one of those kids i have to deal with all day."

he rolled his eyes, "not me... i don't count. you love me."

"yeah yeah, back to work." you smiled, as you began to plan for the next day.

that's how you spent your afternoons. the four of you would stay after school until your daughter got out of school too. lucas and mark doing homework and projects while kun and yourself planned what you would teach next. if they wanted to talk or vent to you, they would... especially lucas.

the two hours went by and you were now walking out the school.

"you two need a ride?" kun offered them.

lucas shook his head and nodded towards the parking lot. you turned around seeing a small group of bikers staring back at you.

"o-oh." you stuttered.

you couldn't see their faces clearly due to face masks and sunglasses but you were intimidated. three tall, muscular men with motorcycles staring at you was not something you’re used to. they both said goodbye before walking towards the group.

"i couldn't even see their eyes but it still feels like the one in front was staring into my soul,” you mumbled to kun as you walked to his car.

he shrugged casually, "maybe he was."

"kun, this isn't funny."

"relax", kun pulled you closer, "they have a bad reputation but they're not randomly going to jump you or kill you. they go after those who cause problems or mess with them. you're innocent… well some nights you are."

you ignored the smirk on his face and got into his car. kun's apartment was right next to yours. he's heard your moans and screams plenty of times due to your previous relationship. he swore he wasn't that bothered by it but it was still embarrassing.

"kun?" you turned towards him, “what are you doing later?”

he thought for a moment, "well... we still have to finish wednesday's lesson plan. so i will be over to cook my god-daughter dinner and then we're going to work."

you let out a long, dramatic sigh as you got out the car. it was going to be a long night.

•••

the next day was uneventful. classes were boring and you wanted to leave. you loved teaching. it's always been your dream job but some days, you craved a vacation.

you currently didn't have a class right now so you were printing notes of today’s lessons. the door opened slightly, making you sit up. it was only kun.

"so you have a visitor." he said, with an unsure look on his face.

"why the face? who is it?"

"it's one of those bikers from yesterday. apparently he's also legally lucas's guardian." kun admitted.

lucas' guardian? you both knew lucas never mentioned his parents but you didn't assume he was adopted either.

"you can send him in. i'll be okay."

kun nodded before disappearing again. you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. you were nervous. why did he want to meet with you? was it strictly about lucas?

a knock on the door made you sit up again. the door opened and it was the last person you ever expected to see.

johnny smirked slightly, "hey, y/n.”

"oh you have got to be kidding me." you mumbled to yourself.

johnny seo. a man you met back in your hometown of chicago. his mother lived next door to your family. you remembered her telling you that her son was finally coming home. when you saw the then 20 year old man, you knew he was trouble. yet you were still so eager to trust him and give yourself away. but that was five years ago. back when you were in college. back when you were dumb and naive. back when you fell in love for the first time.

back before he left you pregnant without a word.

"i came here yesterday to pick lucas and mark and i was very surprised to see you walk out with them." johnny said as he walked closer to you.

"there is no way this is happening right now." you laughed but there was no humor in your voice.

johnny ignored your remarks and openly checked you out, "you look as beautiful as ever... how've you been?"

you scoffed and looked up at him fully for the first time since he walked in. he looked as beautiful as ever too. his hair was longer and lighter than it used to be. he was more fit and had a few more tattoos. those beautiful brown eyes were what changed the most. they were much colder and didn't hold that same sparkle that they used to.

"i don't know why my well-being should concern you but as lucas' guardian, you should focus on mentioning him." you said, folding your hands gently in your lap.

johnny leaned on your desk, "mark always mentioned a ms. y/n that him and lucas stayed after school with and i just knew it couldn't have been you... i should've known though. y/n isn't a common name here. you always talked about how much you wanted to be a teacher and help kids and how much you wanted to come to seoul."

"if you're not here about lucas, you can leave, mr. seo." you stated before getting up.

this whole situation was insane. you never thought you’d run into johnny again. your life was going great. now all of the sudden, he's in your classroom, making your heart beat out of your chest. you erased the chalkboard and wrote the date in the top right corner. when you turned back around, johnny's arms trapped you against the board.

"why are you ignoring me like this?" johnny mumbled.

"there's nothing i have to say to you anymore. when you have to talk about lucas, then i'll talk to you." you said, pushing him away.

he sighed, "i want to talk about us, sweetheart. lucas is 21. he can handle himself. as far as i know, his grades are good. well, that's what mark tells me. that kid doesn't even talk."

you raised an eyebrow, "he doesn't talk to you?"

"no, he only talks to mark... does he talk to you?"

"yeah," you held back a laugh, "looks like i have more of a connection with your gang than you do and you're the leader."

johnny shrugged, "you might have more of a connection with mark and lucas than i do... but you and i have a better connection than anybody."

"had... had a connection. a one-sided one at that."

"i cared about you. just not how you cared about me. i never loved you. you were just supposed to be a fling. although i will admit i called my mom to see how you and the baby were doing. crying into your pillow for two weeks? that's a little pathetic, don't you think?" he asked, leaning against the board.

"fuck you, johnny. you left me. how was i supposed to feel?"

"i told you. you meant nothing to me."

"obviously if you left me as soon as i said i was pregnant." you whispered but you knew he heard you.

the door opened, making both of your heads look towards it. kun.

"am i interrupting something?" kun asked, setting a pack of papers on his desk.

"no, i was just leaving." johnny announced as he walked towards the door, "see you soon, sweetheart.”

as soon as johnny left, you let out a big sigh.

"what the hell happened?" kun asked as he began to separate the papers.

"that man... was johnny as in the same johnny who left me in chicago... jasmine's father."

kun knew everything. being that you only had three friends, two of them being your students, you told him your life story.

"no way... did you know he was that motorcycle president back there?"

you shook your head, "when i first met him in chicago, people around the city had warned me that he was no good. that he only came back to chicago to avoid getting into trouble in korea. i didn't know he was in a motorcycle club at all. i was too blind to see all that."

"too blind because your face was being pushed into his pillow?" kun slyly asked.

you scoffed, "keep stapling papers, qian."

your mind flashed back to what johnny said before he left...

see you soon, sweetheart.

•••

johnny sighed for the nth time this evening. he couldn't get you out of his head now. the woman he thought he left for good. when he met in you in your shared hometown, he thought you were perfect for his needs- beautiful and naive as fuck. you were a really good person. really nice, caring, the total package. he ruined that... almost every night. you didn't deserve that. you didn't deserve for johnny to ruin your innocence just for you to fall in love and have him leave months later.

one day you told johnny you were pregnant. the next day, he was on a plane back to south korea. johnny wondered how the kid was doing. she or he would be about 5 years old. maybe 6. did they look like him? did they look more like you? were they a perfect combination of you both?

"why the fuck am i thinking about this shit now? i didn't give a fuck before." johnny mumbled to himself.

it was roughly 12:30am. johnny wondered if you were still the night owl he remembered you to be. most of that coming from when he used to keep you up all night. he wondered if you’d been with anyone since him. who was he kidding? you were gorgeous and your body was perfect. you could easily have men crawling at the sight of you. the thought of another man touching you bothered johnny. he knew no one could make you feel like he did though. you always felt so tight and wet around him…mouth always ready to take him whenever he asked… the sinful screams and scratches when he’d fuck you real good. johnny could feel himself getting hard at the thought.

he got up and headed out the door. he knew he would end up regretting this later...

•••

you gasped when you opened the door, "johnny, what the fuck are you doing here?"

"i told you that i was going to see you soon,” johnny said quietly as he took in your appearance.

you crossed your arms, "when you said soon, i didn't think it'd be a day later. i also didn't think it would be at 1:38am... or at my house."

"maybe i missed you,” he smirked slightly.

"bullshit. seriously johnny, why are you here? how'd you even know where i live?"

"let me in and i'll tell you."

you looked up into his eyes before opening the door further. johnny smiled at you as he walked in.

"okay, so answer my questions." you demanded walking into the kitchen area.

"i am here because i was thinking about you." he admitted, staring at the marble counter.

"thinking about me for what?"

"well... i was actually i was thinking about how it felt to be inside of you then i got hard and decided to visit you."

you rolled your eyes, "at least you're being honest now."

"what do you mean 'now'? i was honest before." johnny questioned, slightly offended.

"no, you weren't johnny... not to me."

"i couldn't be honest to you. what did you want me to say? 'hey i'm only here until it’s clear for me to go back home. i killed a few people and had to lay low in chicago. you're a beautiful woman and all. i love hanging out with you but i love fucking you more. don't get attached though because i'm going to leave you.' is that what you wanted me to say?" he asked.

you threw your hands in the air, "yes! i would've loved to hear that. it would have saved me from heartbreak and trust issues. i was 20 and naive but if you told me that you just wanted a fuck buddy, then i wouldn't have gotten attached and i definitely would've kept condoms around!"

johnny looked taken back. he’s never seen you this mad before.

"who the fuck are you yelling at?” his words sounded cold but he was more intrigued than mad.

"i'm not yelling at you. i am talking loud. i'm tired of you already and it's only been two days! when you left, i blamed myself, wondering what i did wrong. i was stressed about having to carry a child for nine months and raise it all while being a full-time college student. it was your fault johnny! you and your shit communication skills!" you ranted, breathing heavily.

"momma." a small voice called out.

johnny’s head quickly turned towards the door. your little girl was standing there in a matching pj set. just one look at her and anyone could tell she was johnny’s daughter. you could see that jasmine had his eyes, nose and lips but had your hair and skin tone. your daughter was beautiful.

"yes, baby?" you replied softly, "did i wake you?"

"a little... who's he?" jasmine asked.

johnny crouched down to her level, "i- i'm johnny. your... mother's friend."

she tilted her head at him, "i'm 5 but i'm not stupid. you're my daddy. you look just like me."

"if anything, you look just like me." johnny corrected her.

"nope! you copied me first!" she shot back,

"wait. momma, you're crying."

johnny turned around to see you quickly wiping your tears away.

"i'm fine, jasmine, go and lay back down okay?”

she nodded and skipped off into her room.

johnny cleared his throat, “i know you don’t want to hear this… but i have to be in her life, y/n. i know that i fucked up but she deserves to have a father in her life.”

you scoffed, “wow. now the mafia leader wants to tell me what MY daughter needs. that’s funny.”

“it’s OUR daughter and you know i’m right.”

he was right. you didn’t want your daughter to grow up without her father, but you’d never admit that to him. you knew all the trouble being in the mafia brought to johnny and you feared the same thing would happen to your little girl.

987 notes · View notes

bakudekuficlibrary · 5 years

Note

Hey, do you have any fics where Deku calms Bakugo down from a panic attack or some sort of anger episode? Or vise versa?

I payed more attention to fics that focused solely on the requested idea or had multiple scenes of it. (and boy was there a decent amount!) If you know of longer fics that include this idea (even if it’s your own XD) feel free to reblog or reply with them so people can find them in the notes c:

-Jay

30 Works.

Dark Side of the Sun by Synnie( T | 51,597 | 20/20 )

Staying up too late playing video games, Kirishima wasn’t expecting to get an urgent call begging for help. Next thing he knew, he was letting his classmate Izuku Midoriya take refuge in his apartment - without consulting his always angry roommate.

SeriesPart 1 of Dark Side of Space

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Past Abuse | Self-Harm]

Can We Not? by vulcanhighblood( T | 32,740+ | 17/? )

Journalist Midoriya Izuku stumbles across Ground Zero brutalizing a vending machine. Unfortunately, he can’t just walk away from a Pro Hero in dire need of caffeine. So when a hero on the brink shakes him down for coffee, only to offer a coffee date in return…? Well, he doesn’t refuse. (He does, however, get said hero’s number, and ends up spending a lot more time with him than could have been predicted based on that first encounter.)

Grief Counseling by Merrywetherweather( E | 48,279 | 19/19 )

Katsuki remembered the first time he had failed to save someone, watched helplessly in horror as an elderly man had been crushed beneath the girth of a thrown car. He had already propelled himself forward to grab a small boy when he noticed, too late, the car fly by overhead. Two other heroes had been on the scene at the time and had assured him.

There was nothing that could have been done.

Most of class 1-A had already gone through a similar experience. The only one left with a clean track record in the rescue department had been Deku.

Well, except for today.

A slowburn fic where Kacchan tries to convince Deku to take advantage of the grief counseling provided for free to heroes experiencing their first failed rescues. Lots of flirting. Healing their relationship comes first. The romantic bit where they fall helplessly and stupidly in love comes after.

[PSTD | Panic Attacks]

Dream Sweet in Sea Major by showtiime ( M | 122,562 | 22/22 )

The day of the Hero Incident ends much more horribly than anyone could’ve imagined, but only Izuku knows that. He thinks as long as he forces himself to push through it that he can get over it, but of course, that’s not how things go. His mom, friends, teachers, and even his childhood friend-turned-rival take note of his odd behavior and try to help, but he refuses to talk about what really happened. How long and how thin will Bakugou’s patience go until Izuku finally confides and accepts the help he needs?

(in this fic, Shigaraki takes more from Izuku than he should’ve, Katsuki comes with the class that day at the mall, and there are still finals to be taken. Plenty can happen in only five to six weeks.)

(playlist)

Paper Moons and Glass Stars by Soundsoftherain( M | 82,948 | 18/18 )

The last time Katsuki had seen that mess of green hair had been during the summer after their first year of middle school, a boy sculpted from the purest sunlight sadly waving goodbye as he moved away.

That had been seven years ago.

Now that mop of wild curls was straddling his lap while scantily clad in black, leaving little to the imagination. The shy boy he once knew was now the star of Paper Moon, a strip club he’d been unwillingly dragged to by his friends. But through the muffled music one thought overwhelmed the raging whirlpool of his mind.

…What the actual fuck?

SeriesPart 1 of Glass Stars

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Panic Attacks | Stalking]

be loved by bonnia( T | 5,403 | 1/1 )

They sit there, in the darkness of the common room, about a few centimeters between them, but miles apart. Somehow, the quiet is companionable. More than it has been in many years. Katsuki knows he’s responsible for the rift between them, and he knows even more that it can’t only be Deku who attempts to mend it.

“Hey,” he says, after a while, and Deku turns to him in question, but Katsuki refuses to look his way. “Touch me again.”

(or: the kidnapping incident leaves bakugou traumatised about being touched on the back of his neck, and midoriya decides to take matters into his own hands)

[Panic Attacks | PTSD]

2,645 Miles by mynameis152( E | 131,839 | 38/38 )

Izuku wants so badly to get to the other side of the country without his parents realizing he’s missing. He just wants to find out who he is.

Katsuki is desperate to make it to Los Angeles without being caught by the police, desperate to fix his mistakes.

Neither know what to expect, but on a roadtrip across the U.S. involving four fugitives, two oblivious runaways, a high risk crime ring, and a police taskforce, the two will discover that there’s more in store for them than what they originally thought.

SeriesPart 1 of Guide Me Home To You

[Graphic Depictions of Violence | Panic Attacks | Attempted Sexual Assault]

As One by semiautomatichearts( G | 2,508 | 1/1 )

Katsuki knows Izuku as he knows himself, as he knows the worn pages of a treasured book, the creases within his own hand.

He sees when something is wrong, and reaches across abyssal expanses, past the maw of his own pride, and he heals.

[Panic Attacks]

What’s up danger by The_Crafty_Cracker( M | 2,220 | 1/1 )

Because apparently,The fic where Deku punches a bigoted entailed asshole Alpha in the face wasn’t an appropriate title.

Poor Katsuki has his handful with his mate nearly getting arrested, again!

P.S there is also a joke about a quiche.

Super Mario Maker by Pop_Rocks (v_love)( E | 3,734 | 1/1 )

Midoriya is smart, and a nerd, meaning that when the entire class decided to take on the aspect of buying Super Mario Maker for the collection of games in the common area that he became sort of a living legend when it came to designing the levels.

Some were just joyous well designed little prank-type levels, others were difficult — but not impossible — and the rest? Well, those were impossible.

For all but one.

His Kacchan.

————

In which Bakugou rages.

SeriesPart 4 of Kacchan and Deku’s Shenanigans

Out Of Darkness by Arrival_Of_Dawn ( M | 78,364+ | 18/? )

Izuku Midoriya is legally dead for forty two minutes at the hands of a new villain, Nightmare. They are the longest forty two minutes as Izuku finds himself trapped in his own personal hell. He may have come back from nightmare induced death, but that does not mean the nightmares are gone. They haunt him at any given moment and neither he nor anyone else knows how to save him.

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Panic Attacks]

Twenty-Four by SharkbaitSekki( T | 15,874 | 1/1 )

Izuku gets himself kidnapped, and Katsuki is dragged into it with him as they face villains with particularly terrifying illusion Quirks.

It ends up being a living nightmare, but Katsuki can’t bring himself to regret following Izuku into it all. Because between the pain and the terror, between the lies and the illusions, between life and death, at least they can always hang onto one another. Even if everything else is fake, they know that they will always be real.

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

Chapter 26 of an entire month for the broccoli boy and the shouty boy by Kasplode( T | 23,200 | 30/30 )

Acute fear pollutes his body, concentration increasing exponentially with each shallow inhale he breathes.

Deku, standing just in front of him, knocks at the familiar door to Midoriya Inko’s apartment.

They’re having dinner with her tonight. Introducing Katsuki as Deku’s boyfriend.

[Panic Attacks]

Someone to Stay by Maru_Chan( M | 5,462 | 1/1 )

He hears Izuku’s jeering laughter again and even when he can’t see him any longer, his last words ring loud on Katsuki’s ears, heavy and final like a sentence.

“Goodbye Kacchan, maybe you can try again in your next life”

And then everything is dark again.

It’s dark, he’s cold, he’s numb and he’s alone.

And it’s everything he deserves.

[Panic Attacks | PTSD]

saltwater fears & saltwater tears by writedeku( T | 4,540 | 1/1 )

It’s not that Katsuki hasn’t hurt people before, but this is the first time he’s seen something so irrevocable. So tangible. Izuku will look back, ten, twenty years from now, and he’d still see the scar in the mirror, and still be a scared little boy in pain all over again, crying in the hallways.

(The middle is a time that makes Katsuki feel proud and ashamed, all at once.)

SeriesPart 3 of the saltwater saga

[Bullying | Past Abuse | Panic Attacks]

What’s Mine But Only You Can Have? by masteremeraldholder

( T | 9,480 | 1/1 )

“What’s mine… but only you can have?”

Deku’s face softens, his eyes wide, mouth a little ‘o’. Baku’s stomach turns, maybe he shouldn’t have said it, maybe he should’ve listened to the quirk-stealers and kept his fucking mouth shut, but he knows that he couldn’t have even if he tried.

He’ll never get tired of Deku and his annoying antics, his patient nature, his shit ton of freckles, and if that’s what it means to love someone, then he’s gladly in it with Deku.

SeriesPart 2 of Schizophrenic Bakugou

[Panic Attacks | Self-Harm | Ableism]

Words to Never Say by InkspillsNotebook( T | 2,586 | 1/1 )

Regardless of how much time has passed, Izuku is still unable to hear those words without fearing that he’s lost the most important person in his life.

SeriesPart 7 of Drabble Expansion Pack

[Panic Attacks]

[Abandoned] Chapter 4 of Angry Kids by MrJokerBoy( T | 9,251 | 12/? )

Deku has a nervous breakdown and here comes Kacchan to the rescue

[Panic Attacks]

Chapter 1 of Things You Said: Bakugou/Midoriya by AutisticWriter( T | 3,100 | 2/2 )

A collection of one shots written for a prompt list.

[Self-Harm | Ableism | Transphobia]

{Curator’s Note: This chapter depicts Bakugou assisting Midoriya through a meltdown, not an anger episode or panic attack.}

A Classical Storm by oceanswrath( T | 1,400 | 1/1 )

In that moment only the two of them existed, a force to be reckoned with greater than the storm raging outside.

[Panic Attacks]

The Bonds that bind by EloFromMars( E | 2,818 | 1/1 )

Izuku is excited, tonight is their anniversary. He had planned everything. Or so he thought.

[PTSD | Panic Attacks]

Only Us by yoichipines( T | 3,105 | 1/1 )

“What if it’s you, and what if it’s me and what if that’s all that we needed to be and the rest of the world falls away…what do you say?”

A Katsudeku fanfic very much inspired by ‘Only Us’ by Laura Dreyfuss and Ben Platt? Sign me tf up!

[Panic Attacks]

No Matter What by Empress Explosion Murder (LdyFcknNoir)( M | 4,393 | 1/1 )

BNHA Angst Week Day Seven: Roses/Time

-or-

“I-I’ve failed you… He escaped.” Katsuki rasped out.

Any remaining strength in Izuku’s body fled, and he melted to the ground on legs that were no longer able to hold him up. His body began to tremble violently, his teeth cracking together with the force of his shaking. Black edged around his vision as he couldn’t pull any oxygen into his lungs, air rent from his lungs completely with just five words.

SeriesPart 7 of BNHA Angst Week

[Past Rape/Non-con | Panic Attacks]

Yeah I’ve Got Issues by Abitginger( T | 2,782 | 1/1 )

One-shot written for BakuDeku month of wonder, day 2:festival/apology. A little late but such is life ~

Izuku and Katsuki go on an undercover mission at a festival.

[Panic Attacks]

to be made of flesh and steel by bluntforcedrama, gutsdumpster( T | 635 | 1/1 )

Bakugou learns his triggers, his tics. He’s kind of psychic actually since he tends to know when something is about to happen. Or maybe it’s Izuku’s fault for making it so glaringly obvious: he gets nervous, hands twitching more than usual as his eyes follow any sudden movement around him. Sometimes his breathing becomes labored and he swallows down more inhales than exhales and Bakugou will have to thread his fingers with Izuku’s, as if to say calm down, I’m here.

Or: Izuku is an ex-soldier struggling with the mental and physical repercussions of such heavy combat, and although Bakugou doesn’t know exactly what it’s like, he’ll still do everything he can to help.

[Panic Attacks | PTSD | Implied/Referenced Homophobia]

I know you wanna (slip under my armor) by Herbalmint( T | 3,528 | 1/1 )

Life just keeps developing new ways of beating Bakugo down. (Katsuki has a panic attack)

[Panic Attacks | Dissociation]

In Your Arms by EmbretheWorld( T | 3,771 | 2/2 )

Bakugo’s freaking out, and no one really knows what to do, but Yagi and Aizawa are really grateful that Midoriya is there. And Aizawa is really good at comforting people too.

SeriesPart 3 of You Melt My Heart

[Panic Attacks]

Chapter 2 & Chapter 7 of Standing Together (Pride Month) by EmbretheWorld( M | 17,972 | 29/29 )

This book will be filled with multiple ships that I will write and post on a daily for Pride Month. Each chapter will be based on a prompt. Hope you enjoy!

I ended this book early because I couldn’t find any motivation to write in it anymore.

SeriesPart 6 of You Melt My Heart

[Panic Attacks]

Anxiety by MistyBlueJay( T | 3,530 | 1/1 )

Izuku and Katsuki go to the mall, the Bakusquad joins them in a mini shopping trip. It’s a crowded day and Izuku falls behind, panic ensues.

[Panic Attacks]

In Weakness there is Strength by DarcyIncarnate( Not Rated | 3,011 | 1/1 )

Five times Izuku breaks and Katsuki picks up the peices, and one time Katsuki isn’t there to help.

[Panic Attacks]

623 notes · View notes

mbavholidayexchange · 4 years

Text

to @oceanographerschoice from @rowsha

title: holidays are for making you blush

rating: teen and up audiences

summary:

the story of a vampire learning to be loved, and the two idiots who love him.

ao3 link: link

content:

Rory Keaner grew up different from his boyfriends.

Not so much different from Benny, as they both grew up with a single parent, but much more different than Ethan. He sort of (definitely) envies Ethan in a way (in many ways); he envies his nuclear family, his good grades, his smarts, his humor, and-

His flat chest.

He envied Benny's too. Both of them, unlike Rory, grew up and identified as cisgender boys. Nothing changed about their wardrobe when they got to middle school. Neither of them had to deal with a substitute teacher who didn't know the chosen names of everyone in their class. They didn't live with the shame, the tears, the want to be someone other than themselves- they've been with each other since they were both in diapers. And Rory would never have that bond with the two of them. He would never be able to relate to them the way that they related to each other.

The jokes, the references, and the longing, knowing gazes they would shoot in the direction of the other. Rory didn't know what it was like to have someone know you inside and out. He knew the concept of his body was… an enigma all on its own. He knew his own brain betrayed him when it came to understanding a word Ethan and Benny were saying to each other half the time.

So, becoming a vampire made things…

The day he got bit was easily the best and worst day of his life. It was rushed, it was peer pressure, it was the way Rory felt waking up into a body he finally felt was his. But at the same time… he felt dead. No matter how you looked at it- he was a dead person, that was a part of him now. He didn't have a beating heart, just still blood that stayed cold and dead like cement flowing throughout his veins. He had no need to eat, but he still ate (in other ways). He didn't need sleep, not because he was immortal, but because the thought of never being the person he was before… it tore him up inside.

For the way he was born and for the way he transformed, he knew he wouldn't be the same as his boyfriends ever again. After all, they were human- well, minus Ethan because he's some type of prophet for the supernatural. And Benny too, what with him being a "spellmaster" as Grandma Weir put it. So, okay, maybe they weren't fully human. But they would grow old and live life the way it was meant to be lived- with death. And Rory would have to watch them die and be alone for all of eternity. Who else (other than a seer and witch) would be able to love someone so… noticeably undead?

To Rory's surprise, Benny and Ethan didn't really care whether he was alive or "undead." they cared about keeping Rory safe from being found out. They stole bags from the blood drive, they picked up extra sunblock for him at the corner store. Sunglasses, hoodies, rats- the whole nine yards. Just to make Rory happy. Just to keep him from exposure. it made him wonder if all those intrusive thoughts of never being to love again once they were dead were valid at all. He feels like, to a certain degree, the thought of his boyfriends staying with him (even after they were long gone) would be enough for him to make it on his own.

There were still other things about being a vampire trapped in a girl's body that bothered him. On one hand, he could run away from his mom and live his life and live somewhere with Ethan and Benny in the woods. Like they did in Dusk. On the other hand, he could tell someone other than those two what was going on, and that he needed help (a cure, a surgery, something). If he stayed the way he was, trapped inside his room with the curtains drawn and sneaking vermin into his room, he would stay like that until his mom noticed he wasn't aging and find out the awkward way. But if he just told somebody maybe it would be hard and he could find a cure like Sarah did and live and die with Benny and Ethan and-

No. That's not possible.

He can't tell anyone. Not a single soul. that he's a vampire- that he's transgender. That his disgusting, embarrassing name is Tabitha Abigail Keaner and that's the name he has to hear over and over and over at home. At a place that doesn't feel like home because home was wherever Ethan and Benny were.

But he can't keep it in any longer. Surely, it's going to get blurted out eventually. Or written in a note followed by "I've decided to skip town, you'll never see me again, goodbye everyone." He wondered, sometimes, how much a bus ticket would cost.

Not a lot of it makes sense, and not a lot of it should make sense. But he knows that no matter how horrible his home life will get, and no matter how much he wants to correct teachers and substitutes, he'll always have his home. Ethan will always put on a videogame and Benny will always order a pizza for the three of them. And they will always call him Rory, whenever they kiss or hold hands or ask him to pass the remote.

Rory decided that he wouldn't let the daunting gloom of immortality shake him as much as it did when he was just a fledgling. He decided that the future was malleable and the present was cement, because of Ethan throwing his controller and Benny slamming the door on the delivery guy's face. He cherishes what he has, even if it is two dorks in Canada. For now, as the thoughts of them dying swim in his mind's kiddie pool, Rory rests on Ethan's chest while holding Benny's hand.

"Chag ah molad baruch, Ror." Benny says, placing a kiss on Rory's cheek as they sat under Ethan's Christmas tree.

He blushes, both because of Benny's kiss and the embarrassment of not learning Hebrew fast enough. He looks down at the wrapped gift in his lap, sitting shiny and neat underneath a large plastic ribbon. He pulls Benny in for a hug. It only lasts for a second or two, before he pulls back to ask:

"That means 'blessed Yule', right?"

Benny laughs, then nods in agreement. He gives Rory another peck on the cheek and Rory has to try his best not to squeal like a Dusk fangirl.

"Or 'merry Christmas'," Ethan interjects, face stuffed with Grandma Weir's cookies, "but if you wanna look at its root meaning, it translates to-"

"Celebrating the birth of a male. Yes, E, we know." Benny and Rory both roll their eyes, knowing that Ethan was never slow when it came to languages.

Rory feels a bit bitter that Benny taught Ethan hebrew before him- but then again, they did meet before they met Rory, so it makes sense that Ethan would be almost fluent in it by now. Still, it didn't stop Rory from being jealous of their impenetrable bond.

Ethan shrugs, turning back to the cookie platter only to notice the last of the treats had been mysteriously eaten. He gasps dramatically, spinning around to face Benny and Rory, who were gleefully eating the remaining cookies together.

"Stupid vampire speed." he grumbles, sitting down next to the two of them. Rory ruffles his hair playfully, and he smiles.

"You should know you're no match for the vampire ninja, babe." Rory says matter-of-factly, resting on his elbows now. A smug smile was plastered on his face as Ethan scowled and Benny giggled.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." he says with his arms crossed, "open my gift first."

"No way! My gift is cooler!" Benny says, pushing Ethan's gift out of Rory's lap and snapping his fingers. Suddenly, a small, beautifully wrapped box is in the other gift's place. It sparkles with magic air, shining (quite literally) as bright as a star.

"Wh- no fair! Yours didn't glow before! Take it back!" Ethan surges towards Benny, tackling him to the ground. They both struggle for a while, Benny pulling at Ethan's hair and Ethan trying to put Benny in a chokehold while Rory falls to the floor laughing.

After enough laughing, and concern for his boyfriends' well being, Rory decides to speak up.

"Okay, how about I open the gifts with my eyes closed? That way, whichever gift I pick is a surprise."

The two boys look up from their tangled position at Rory, Ethan's fist stopping mid-air above Benny's face. They look at each other, then shrug. They untangle themselves from each other, sitting prim and proper next to the tree. It makes Rory's smile even wider.

"Seems fair to me." Benny says.

"I don't see why not." Ethan agrees.

With that, Rory closes his eyes and begins to reach underneath the tree. He feels around for a bit, hand accidentally bumping the branches of the fake plant, until he feels a gift. He can't tell whose it is, but he knows that it's medium sized and wrapped in a bow. He thinks it might be the present from earlier. He picks it up and settles it on his lap, opening his eyes.

"To Rorster, from Ethan." he reads aloud, "looks like Ethan's is up first."

Benny groans in defeat, and Ethan pumps his fist in triumph. He briefly turns to Benny and kisses him apologetically, ruffling his hair. "Better luck next time, Ben."

"Go on, open it." Ethan encourages, arm around Benny.

Rory rips through the paper excitedly, making sure to keep the bow intact as he tears off the decorative wrapping. When all the paper is gone, he sees a familiar logo across the seal. His eyes widen in realization, mouth agape in wonder. Could Ethan really have pulled this off? No way- no way he could've done this…

"Ethan, you shouldn't have…" Rory says as he peels back the seal on the package, opening it to reveal-

A chest binder.

Not just any chest binder- a GC2B binder. And not just one, but multiple; a nude one that matches his skin tone, a black one, and a navy blue one. Rory clutches his hands over his mouth. He can't believe this… he knows how expensive these were, and he just… can't imagine how Ethan got the money to buy them.

"How- how did you-" Rory picks up the binders one by one, running his hands over the smooth material. Tears began to form in his eyes.

"It was nothing, really. I just used my birthday money from the past year or so and figured it would come in handy one day." Ethan said it like it was really nothing, shrugging nonchalantly as he leaned on Benny's side.

Rory, dumbfounded, couldn't keep his eyes off the binders. They seemed to shine brighter than the magic box, to glimmer in the light of the tree. The fabric felt silky smooth on one side, and perfectly rough on the other. It made Rory's heart want to leap out of his chest and swaddle his boys in the tightest of hugs. The tears from earlier were beginning to fall as Rory couldn't keep his happiness inside of him for much longer. The two boys began to take notice of his tears, wiping their own eyes themself.

"Well, I guess you gotta open mine now." Benny smirks when he says it, a glint in his eye that Rory knew all too well.

This is either going to be a very elegant gift or a very elaborate set up to a prank.

Rory opens the gift with caution, untying the ribbon around the small box. Still glowing, Rory has to squint his eyes to lift the top of the box off. He holds his hand over his eyes as if the sun was beaming directly into them. After a while, the light begins to die down.

"Jeez, Benny," Ethan rubs his irritated eyes, "did you have to make it so… painful to look at?"

"It's for the drama, dude."

Rory chuckles at that, wiping a light-induced tear from his eye as he reaches inside the box. His hand comes in contact with something small and… textured? It feels like a chain of some sort. He picks it up, then gazes in awe at the present in his palm.

"A locket? Ben…" true to his word, it's a real locket. The chain is silver, as is the heart shaped pendant hanging from it. Rory can see his reflection in the heart, and it makes his chest flutter.

"Open it!" Benny smiles from ear to ear, along with Ethan, who is just as in awe as Rory.

Doing as he's told, he opens the pendant. Inside is a picture of the three of them. They're at the place where they got those milkshakes that made Ethan discover he was lactose intolerant. As he blinks, the image changes. The picture of Benny and Ethan dressed as Ghostbusters on Halloween makes him remember the time they got swirlies from those jocks. It changes again to a moving image of Benny tripping and falling at the roller rink.

"I have no idea how you got pictures of these, but I love them. Thank you." Rory wraps his arms around Benny briefly, kissing him on the cheek as he lets go.

"It's a spell." Benny states proudly, "it shows all of your zikheronott semekhim- or 'happy memories', with the ones you love."

Ethan slaps him playfully on the shoulder. "You made my gift look like shit!"

Benny rushes to tackle Ethan, and they return to their shenanigans. They tussle on the floor again, looking like total geeks. Rory goes into another laughing fit as Ethan sits on Benny's back, trying to force him into a grotesque, spit-soaked kiss.

The next day, Rory proudly walks out of his house with a flat chest. His locket tucked safely under his shirt.

#my babysitter's a vampire #mbav #ronnethan #rory keaner #benny weir #ethan morgan

3 notes · View notes

atc74 · 5 years

Text

Watching You - The Epilogue

Square(s) Filled: Michael for @heavenandhellbingo, Character Death for @spngenrebingo

Warnings: Fluff, drinking, a wedding, angst, more angst and some more angst. Major character death

Summary: Almost a year has passed since Y/N learned that her boyfriend’s brother was her stalker. With time comes healing and Y/N and Sam are ready to take the next step. But is anything ever really over?

Pairing: Coach/Teacher!Sam x Coach!Reader

Characters: Y/N Y/L/N, Sam Winchester, Michael Shurley, Dean Winchester (mentioned), Bobby Singer, Jody Mills, Alex Jones, Rufus Turner, Ellen Harvelle, Jo Harvelle (mentioned), Donna Hanscum

Word Count: 6025 (I apologize for nothing)

Written for: @heavenandhellbingo and @spngenrebingo

Beta’d by: @amanda-teaches with whom I have realized I have an abusive and co-dependent relationship with. As my beta, she makes me a better writer and in turn, I punch her right in the feels but she still loves me, and for this I am forever grateful and love her back. (No, I am not making light of abusive relationships, having been in one, it’s an analogy people). And to @alleiradayne, for her unwavering support.

A/N: This is the third and FINAL (yes, final) installment of Watching You (CATCH UP NOW). I wasn’t completely satisfied with the original ending. Although I am very proud of it, I just felt it was lacking some finality and @amanda-teaches convinced me to finish it to my liking, because every once in a great while, I crave giving you guys something that is very much ‘not me’ and drawing a new emotion from you is my oxygen! I hope you like it, too!

Looking for the next level fan experience? Check out Sam’s or Dean’s scent now! Buy it here from @scentsfromthebunker!

Y/N sat in her office. It was a quiet Friday at the school, for once, and she was taking advantage of the peace. Sam was at a Cross Country meet and wouldn’t be home for a couple more hours, so she had time to prepare for their next volleyball game.

The first month or two of her relationship with Sam had its ups and downs, especially when it turned out his brother was her stalker and intended to kill her because he believed he would lose Sam to her. Things between her and Sam had been a little touch and go immediately following Dean’s confession. But since the trial, it had been smooth sailing and she had never been happier.

She decided to call it an early day to get home before Sam and needed to make a few stops on her way home.

Her phone rang as she was loading groceries into her car. “Hello, Handsome.”

“Hey, gorgeous,” Sam drawled on the other end. “Whatchya up to?”

“Just leaving the market and heading home. How was the meet?” She smiled, hearing the mischief in his voice.

“Great! Katie and Josh both finished first!” He exclaimed. “I’m on my way home and I want to celebrate!”

“I can get on board with that!” she agreed. “See you there.”

“Bye, beautiful.”

~*~

“So, what’s the occasion?” Y/N asked over a simple dinner of steak and potatoes later that night.

“Well, my kids won today. Your girls are going to win on Monday,” he explained, pausing. “And, it has been exactly one year since our first date.”

“Sam,” she gasped. “You remembered?”

“How could I forget? The most incredible, stunning creature asked out this awkward giant after he admitted he was horrible with the ladies,” Sam smiled, leaning down to press a kiss to her lips.

“Stop,” she giggled, allowing him to pull her up and into his arms.

“I know our first few months were a little tumultuous, to say the least, but we’re healing, and I have never been happier. Coming home to you each night is the greatest thing in the world,” Sam proclaimed. “If only you could make my next dream come true...”

Y/N was a sap for Sam and she fell right into his trap. “Baby, I always want to make your dreams come true.”

“Then marry me,” Sam stated. He held up an impressive antique style solitaire diamond ring.

Y/N could see he was nervous as the ring shook in his hand, sending prisms sparkling along their dining room walls. She understood how he felt, her own stomach had erupted in a swarm of butterflies. She held out her hand to him. “Yes.”

Sam slipped the gemstone on her finger.

“Sam, it’s gorgeous,” she whispered.

“Nothing will ever be as beautiful as you are. I promise to always protect you,” he vowed, pulling her in, brushing his lips over hers. The kiss started much like their first, sweet and a little shy, both of them thinking about their future together. But, much like the last year, it quickly morphed into something solid and heated.

Sam lifted her, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, as he carried her to the living room, laying her gently on the sofa. Clothing was stripped and tossed away to be worried about later. Promises of what was to come mingled with their moans and heavy breath. Promises of a family and a future.

“We should call Bobby and Jody,” she remarked later that evening, Sam wrapped around her from behind, her favorite blanket concealing their nudity.

“There’s plenty of time for that,” Sam said. “Do you want to set a date first?”

“As soon as we can,” she chirped, turning her head to look at him over her shoulder.

“A wedding takes planning, Y/N.”

“No, an event takes planning, Sam. Bobby, Jody and Alex are basically the only family we have. We have a few friends from work, but that’s about it. We could set this up inside a month,” she insisted.

“Are you pregnant?” Sam blurted out.

“What? No!” She laughed. “But I don’t want to wait, Sam. Besides, the sooner you make an honest woman out of me, the sooner I can be.”

“Well, I do think I’ll like that,” Sam moaned in her ear.

“Later, Romeo. Let’s start making a list and maybe we can knock out a few tasks tomorrow,” she insisted. “But we’re telling Bobby and Jody in the morning.”

“Fine, but we’re going for a run first thing, then you’re making breakfast,” Sam teased.

“How about loser makes breakfast?” she taunted.

“I’ll take that bet,” Sam grabbed her, crashing his lips to hers to seal the deal.

~*~

“A Winchester shows up at my door with a pretty girl and a bag of pastries…” Bobby grumbled. “It sounds like the start of a really bad joke.”

“How about a pretty girl shows up at your door with a bag of pastries and a Winchester?” Y/N laughed as she hugged Bobby.

“I like that a lot better,” he replied. “So what do I owe the pleasure so early on a Saturday?”

“Bobby, it’s almost noon,” Sam chastised.

“And some of us ain’t getting any younger. Plus, I had a job last night,” Bobby yawned, pouring another coffee for himself, plus two for Y/N and Sam.

“We wanted to ask you something. Well, two somethings,” Y/N started. “Where’s Jody?”

“Right here, honey,” Jody turned the corner, a smile on her face seeing the two of them in her kitchen. “What’s up?”

“Sam and I are getting married!” Y/N squealed, holding her hand out to show them her ring.

Jody hugged Y/N tightly, so happy for her young friend. Bobby smacked Sam in the back of the head. “Don’t screw it up, ya idjit.”

“I won’t, Bobby,” Sam promised, gazing over at his soon to be wife, a smile splitting his face.

“I wanted to ask if we could hold the wedding in your yard? Jody, your gardens are so beautiful and I couldn’t imagine starting the rest of my life with Sam anywhere else,” Y/N explained, her smile hopeful.

“Of course you can,” Jody agreed. “I’d be honored.”

“And, Bobby?” Y/N turned to face the man she had come to admire and love over the last several months. “Would you give me away?”

“It would be my pleasure, girl,” Bobby smiled for once. “Now come ‘ere.” He stood and wrapped his arms tightly around the girl he had come to love as if she were his own.

“So, did you set a date yet?” Jody asked.

“September 28,” Y/N replied quietly, turning to Sam.

“We’ve got a whole year to get the planning done,” Jody started rambling. “Bobby, we can finally add that gazebo and koi pond I’ve wanted…” Jody pondered aloud, taking a sip of coffee.

“September 28 this year, Jody.”

Jody nearly choked, coffee sputtering from her mouth as she coughed. “What?!”

“I’m so sorry!” Y/N stood to grab a towel.

“That’s in three weeks!” Bobby hollered.

“Yes, it is. But we talked a lot about this last night. It’s going to be a small affair, less than twenty people. We can easily throw together everything quickly, and we already met with a caterer that can make it work,” Y/N reasoned.

“”Well, then, let’s go take a look and see what y’all wanna do,” Bobby suggested.

After walking around the house and yard, Y/N had decided where to set up the altar and, with Jody’s help, the tables and chairs for the reception.

“Uh, what are you doing?” Alex’s voice carried through the backyard.

“We’re getting married!” Y/N shouted. Alex ran towards her, hugging her tightly as the women jumped up and down together in the yard.

“Fools,” Bobby gumbled.

“I think it’s adorable,” Sam smiled, looking at his fiancee and friend.

“Yeah, but you’re in love with one of ‘em. I gotta live with the other one,” Bobby clucked.

The girls left to go dress shopping leaving Sam and Bobby to their own devices.

“What’s on your mind, boy?” Bobby asked.

“You could always read me like a book, Bobby.” Sam laughed. “I got this idea, but I might need your help.”

“Well, let’s take a look at this idea of yours then,” Bobby stood and walked toward his pole barn. He stopped by an ancient fridge and pulled out two beers, handing one to Sam. “Something tells me I’m gonna need this.”

~*~

Tables had been set up and a dance floor had been constructed in Bobby and Jody’s backyard. From the bedroom window, it looked like a fairy party. Y/N had decided to stay with Bobby and Jody the night before the wedding and Sam would remain at home. She couldn’t wait to marry him. Turning down the bed, she crawled in before calling him to say goodnight, even though they had only parted less than an hour before. She had barely said goodbye before she fell asleep, dreaming of her future with Sam.

~*~

The smell of coffee and bacon woke her the next morning. Stretching long in her bed, Y/N threw the covers aside and shuffled to the bathroom. She exited a few minutes later, hair in a mess atop her head, and followed her nose to the kitchen.

“Happy wedding day!” Jody greeted her excitedly with a steaming mug. “Have a seat, breakfast is almost ready.”

“Thanks Jody,” she smiled back at the woman she had grown so fond of over the last year. “Flowers should be here by eleven and the food and cakes about four.”

“Girl, don’t you worry. I got this handled. Your only job is to get all pretty and show up on time,” Bobby grinned ear to ear at her over his coffee.

“I really can’t thank you guys enough. For, well, everything.” Y/N gave them both knowing looks as Jody set pancakes and bacon on the table.

“Eat up!” Jody announced. “Big breakfast and we’ll have a light lunch in your room about two while you’re getting ready.”

“I’m so stoked for today! It’s like that nervous feeling I always get before a big game, but I know everything is going to go my way, ya know?” Y/N laughed, piling food on her plate.

“Today is going to be a great day!” Alex declared, taking a seat at the table. Breakfast was a jovial affair as they chatted about the day’s events.

The morning passed quickly as Y/N bathed and pampered herself before Alex returned to do her hair. She sat at the dressing table, rubbing her favorite lotion into her smoothed skin, when a knock sounded at the door. “Come in.”

“Hey,” Alex greeted her as she rushed across the room, pulling the curtains closed.

“What are you doing?” Y/N asked suspiciously.

“Um, Pops made me do it. Just promise you won’t look out the windows. Sam’ll kill me if you do,” Alex pleaded.

“Is he here? Can I see him?” Y/N stood, rushing to the door.

“No, he isn’t here. Yet. But just promise, okay? They have a surprise for you, but they’re all hush hush about it. I don’t even know what it is,” Alex revealed, turning to her friend. The doorbell sounded through the house. Alex pulled out her phone to check the security camera. “Oh it’s the florist! I gotta go! Stay here!”

Y/N laughed and waved Alex off as she ran out of the room and bounded down the stairs. She returned to the dressing table and looked over her supplies, making sure she had everything they needed. Satisfied, she turned her thoughts to Sam. She couldn’t wait to marry him and the next few hours couldn’t pass fast enough for her.

The sound of heavy footfalls roused her from her thoughts as Alex returned to the room with a curling wand in one hand, two beers in the other and a mile wide smile on her face. “Ready?”

~*~

The soft rap of knuckles broke through the laughter. “Y/N? Honey, it’s time.”

Alex opened the door to reveal Bobby on the other side. His hair was combed and he looked rather dashing in his smart, dark gray suit. She turned to Y/N. “I’ll see you guys downstairs.”

“You clean up nice, Bobby,” Y/N giggled as she walked toward the man that was about to give her away. She laid one hand on his chest, smoothing the invisible wrinkles on the lapel.

“I dressed down so I don’t steal your thunder, pretty girl,” Bobby jested. “You, you look beautiful, Y/N.”

“Thank you, Bobby.” She smiled. “Shall we?”

“Let’s get you married, girl. That idjit is driving me crazy, pacing around in my lawn like he is. He’s gonna kill my damn grass!” he grumbled, but Y/N could hear the pride in his voice.

~*~

Y/N and Sam exchanged their vows under an arbor that Sam and Bobby had built as a surprise for Y/N. It was made from branches and draped with fairy lights hanging from it. Over the top branch, Sam had secured boughs of baby’s breath, adding a feminine touch to the rustic arbor.

After signing their marriage certificate and celebrating with their guests, Sam and Y/N had headed to Bobby and Jody’s secluded lake cabin for their honeymoon. Jody insisted they would do the cleanup, only Bobby grumped the entire time. “It’s my damn house! Why am I the one picking up all this mess?”

“Robert Steven Singer!” His wife's voice bellowed out across their yard. “Those kids have had one hell of a year. You will stop your complaining right now. We will clean up while they enjoy their honeymoon in peace!”

“Yes, dear.” Bobby returned to the task of breaking down the few tables and storing them back in the outbuilding. Truth be told, Bobby was happy as a pig in slop for Sam and Y/N. After what Dean did to them, hosting their wedding was the least he could to help them maintain some normalcy. He glanced over at his wife, beautiful as ever in the morning sun, as she gathered the leftover floral arrangements. What he didn’t expect was to see her face twist into one of worry, bordering on fear.

“Bobby!”

For an old man, he ran faster than he had in some years, reaching her side in seconds. “What’s wrong?”

She didn’t say anything, only handed him the small card she had plucked from one of the arrangements. He read it a few times, the look on his face matching hers. “Where did this come from?”

“It was in the flowers that were delivered yesterday. I was just going to bring them to the hospital, and save the cards for them to read when they got back, but,” Jody explained.

“I’m calling Sam. We don’t want to scare them, but Sam needs to know,” Bobby commanded.

The conversation was frantic on Bobby’s end as he spoke to Sam. Sam was trying to maintain his composure with his new wife in the same space. He listened carefully as Bobby read him the note and went through his instructions. He knew where the weapons locker was. He knew there was a trap door leading to a cellar in the closet of the master bedroom. A reinforced cellar that locked from the inside. He had never understood before but, after the last year, he silently welcomed Bobby’s paranoid behavior.

“Rose are red, violets are blue. I’ll come soon after you say I do.”

“My next call is to the warden. Dean should have had all his mail privileges revoked, but I ain’t takin’ any chances here,” Bobby explained. “Alex just left to follow up with the florist to find out where the note originated from.”

“Thanks, Bobby.”

“We’ll get this son of a bitch, Sam.”

“I know you will.” Sam ended the call and ran his hand down his face.

“Maybe Dean wasn’t working alone. Maybe Shurley was in on it the whole time?” Jody proposed as Bobby dialed the number for the prison.

“Get Alex on him as soon as she is done with the florist,” Bobby told her.

Jody shot off a text to Alex as Bobby was on the phone. The agitated look on his face told her what they already knew. It wasn’t Dean.

“Ain’t him,” Bobby confirmed. “Warden said he started a fight, tried to kill a guy over pudding in the mess hall and he has been in solitary for the last month.”

“Pudding?” Jody raised an eyebrow.

“Apparently they don’t get pie in prison,” Bobby chuckled despite the situation. “Alex get anything?”

“Not really. The order was placed online with a credit card over a week ago. They’re tracing it now,” Jody informed him. “But, the email is probably a dead end and the card a prepaid debit. She’s headed over to Shurley’s to question him now.”

“Well, let’s get the rest of this crap stowed so we can come up with a plan,” Bobby suggested, throwing his arm around her waist as they headed back into the yard.

~*~

Sam thanked the drama classes in high school for helping him conceal the news of the recent threat from Y/N. Three days into their honeymoon and they had barely left the bedroom except to eat and shower. He couldn’t wait to see her glowing with their child and hoped the sheer amount of his ejaculate had done the trick. However, their food supply was low and they would have to head into town if they wanted to eat for the next four days. He would go, but didn’t want to leave her alone. If they went together, at least he would be by her side and could keep her safe if something happened.

Thankfully, the trip to town was uneventful. Sam whistled while they unpacked groceries, stealing a kiss here and there from Y/N. She was all smiles for him and he didn’t want to ruin it. That however, clearly wasn’t up to him when he heard her scream moments later. Sam ran toward the master bedroom.

Y/N had pushed herself up against the wall in the far corner of the room, tears streaming down her face when Sam entered the room. She pointed toward the bed where a plan white envelope lay in the middle.

“Rose are red, violets are blue. I can’t wait to take another life from you.”

Sam moved to the closet quick as lightning, pulling up on the trap door. “Go. Lock the door and wait for me. I love you.” He kissed her and gently shoved her toward the hidden staircase. Once he confirmed she was inside and he heard the lock catch, he moved to the weapons stash. With deft fingers, he spun the dial until the lock gave. He removed the HK45 and an extra magazine from the shelf.

Although he was sure no one was still in the cabin besides Y/N and him, he cleared it room by room, just as Bobby and Dean had taught him. He even did a quick perimeter sweep on the property, but found nothing that shouldn’t have been there. There wasn’t even so much as an animal print in the dirt. Frustrated, he pulled out his phone and told Bobby what had transpired.

“Come home, boy. You’re too far from civilization and, if something does happen, I can’t get to you fast enough,” Bobby stated the obvious.

“Yeah. Yeah, I get it. We’ll pack up and be on the road in an hour,” Sam agreed. He retreated into the cabin and knocked on the hidden door. “Babe? It’s me. It’s all clear. Please open the door.” He was only met with silence. Not even a sniffle or whimper coming from below. His heart started racing. “Y/N! Open the door. It’s safe to come out. Please?” Sam turned, pacing the room. He stopped dead. There was another note on the bed. He opened it, his fingers trembling as he read the words.

Roses are red, violets are blue. You’ll scream for her, just like Jessica did for you.

His blood ran cold as he dialed Bobby frantically. “Is there an exit?”

“What are you talking about Sam?”

“The cellar room, Bobby! Is there a fucking way out besides the closet?”

“Yes! There is a tunnel that runs out fifty yards, exits in the boat house,” Bobby sighed.

Sam took off at a full sprint the minute he hit the back door, his long legs carrying him across the lawn to the lake.

“Sam!” Bobby’s voice came through the phone.

“The boat’s gone and the door is open. He left another note in the house. How the fuck did he get in?” Sam screamed. “And, why the fuck didn’t we know my brother had a fucking partner?”

“Sam, Rufus is on his way. Jody is on the phone with the locals. Go back to the house and stay put,” Bobby ordered.

“I need her, Bobby,” Sam cried into the phone. His perfect life vanishing right before him.

“I know boy. I know. We’ll get her back.”

Bobby turned to his wife as she hung up with the sheriff's office. “They’re on their way.”

“Why didn’t we see something like this coming?”

“Because Dean confessed. There was no need to investigate further. Let’s go back and take another look at Shurley. Alex said he isn’t home. She talked to his neighbors, they said he left yesterday morning,” Jody relayed.

“Fuck,” Bobby groaned. “Better make some coffee.”

For hours, they combed over the original case files from Sam’s college girlfriend, Jessica Moore. There wasn’t much to the case prior to the fire and her death. Michael Shurley had been seen in the vicinity, but he lived in the building. “Sam said he got weird, but there is nothing in his history to suggest he is capable of something like this, Bobby. His background is clean.” Jody stood to pour more coffee and her bones creaked as she stretched.

Rufus had checked in with them earlier. The locals had combed the tunnel and the boat house, but the only sign something was awry was the stolen boat. The cellar door locked from the inside only, same with the exit door. It didn’t make sense to the sheriff as she shared her professional opinion with Bobby’s seasoned investigator.

“Bobby, I am telling you, this was an inside job!” Rufus struggled to keep his voice down, not wanting to alert Sam.

“Rufus, I have known this boy damn near his entire life!” Bobby argued.

“Singer, you’ve known me longer than that boy’s been alive. How many times have you known me to be wrong?” Rufus challenged him.

“Never,” Bobby conceded. “Balls!”

“I’m staying here with him for a few days. I called in some backup to keep eyes on him, too.”

“Who?” Bobby demanded, not wanting to involve anyone else in this mess.

“Ellen.”

“Ellen Harvelle? Your ex-wife Ellen?” Bobby gasped.

“Yes, my ex-wife,” Rufus replied. “She’s still in the area and Sam doesn’t know her. She’ll be able to keep tabs on him if he leaves and follow him. I can’t. But she and her daughter can.”

“Best option we got, I guess,” Bobby sighed. “Just keep me posted, huh?”

“Copy that.”

Rufus didn’t have to wait long for Sam to become restless.

“Rufus, we need to go looking for her!” Sam shouted, breaking the silence in the cabin.

“Sam, we need to stay here in case she comes back. You need to be here in case he calls you. I can’t trace the call if I don’t know it’s coming in,” Rufus reasoned with him.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Sam resigned. “I’m going to make something to eat. You hungry?”

“I could eat. But you’ve got enough going on right now. I’ll take care of it,” Rufus told him.

Grilled cheese and tomato soup wasn’t exactly what Sam had in mind for dinner, but, with his wife having been kidnapped by a psychopath, it didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered was finding her.

Sam excused himself for the night and retreated to the master bedroom where he tried to sleep, but hopes and dreams of their future morphed into nightmares.

Rufus drifted off on the sofa, the fireplace and the television lighting the room. But, life as a former military man had made him a very light sleeper and he opened one eye at the sound of an engine starting in the distance.

He grabbed his phone off the table next to him and dialed Ellen’s number. “I think he’s on the move.”

“Jo’s at the end of the road on an all terrain. She’ll see him if he leaves,” Ellen informed him. “I’m on the other side of town. Lady called in suspicious activity at the old Novak place.”

“Keep me posted,” Rufus told her as another call rang through to his phone. He answered the incoming call. “Turner.”

“Lady out on Route 33 called in some suspicious activity and appears there is someone staking out the house.” Sheriff Hanscum filled him in on what he already knew. “Wouldn’t happen to be one of yours, would it?”

“I told you earlier, Sheriff. We take care of our own and we’re all licensed professionals. If that son of a bitch is in there, she’ll see him. But you better hope your men to get to him first, because she ain’t gentle. Trust me, I know. She’s my ex-wife,” Rufus laughed. His long legs carried him through the house and sure enough, Sam’s room was empty, the bed untouched.

Rufus placed another call. “Jody, I need a property records search.” He relayed the address and waited while she accessed the data.

“Huh. Get a load of this. The property is registered to a Chuck and Amara Shurley. So, I did a little digging. Used to be owned by Lucille Novak, who died about twenty years ago. She left the house and surrounding land to her children Chuck and Amara. Chuck has four children, the youngest? One Michael Shurley,” Jody revealed.

“Son of a bitch,” Rufus marveled at the revelation. “I think Sam is on the move. Jo’s on Sam, Ellen’s watching the house. How soon can you get here?”

“We’re only about thirty minutes out,” Jody replied.

“Good, ‘cause this might get ugly,” Rufus admitted and disconnected the call. He put on a fresh pot of coffee and waited.

~*~

“What do you want with me, Michael?” Y/N screamed for the hundredth time since he had taken her from the cabin. From her husband. Her ears were ringing and her head still throbbed where Michael had struck her on the boat because she wouldn’t stop screaming.

“It’s what we want with you. Now shut up!” Michael Shurley growled. He had been pacing the dirt floor basement of some old farmhouse for hours.

“Lucky me, I get two stalkers,” she sassed. She had moved from frightened to annoyed some time ago, after her assailant revealed himself to her. She was also royally pissed as the ropes bit into her wrists behind her back.

The sound of a door shutting above them snapped Michael’s attention from the floor. “Finally!” He rocketed up the old staircase and slammed the door shut behind him.

Y/N tested the ropes again without Michael in the room. Damn! They were too tight as she tried to wriggle her wrists, but the rickety chair she was tied to wobbled sideways under weight. She kept moving, her eyes glued to the staircase. She could hear voices upstairs, angry voices as they argued.

“This wasn’t the plan, fuck nut!” The new voice bellowed. It was definitely male, but old houses were built solidly and she couldn’t recognize the voice with her ears still buzzing.

“Yeah, well maybe I’m not a fan of the plan, douchebag!” Michael retorted.

There was a scuffle, dirt rained down on her as they moved across the floor. She shook the debris from her hair and continued rocking. On the fourth round, the chair gave way, falling apart beneath her. She muffled her grunt as she hit the hard floor. Y/N managed to disassemble the chair to free her arms. As the voices above her got louder, she quickly scanned the space, looking for an escape route.

“You and Dean had your fun! Now, it’s my turn! Where is she?” The second man demanded.

“Downstairs,” Michael disclosed. “But, I’m not done. I didn’t get my turn because he’s a control freak. I want the same time I got with Jessica! She was supposed to mine!”

“You’ll get what I give you, loser.”

Heavy footfalls crossed the floor and Y/N knew she was running out of time. Overwrought, she ran toward the dark corner of the basement behind the stairs, a glint of light garnering her attention. It was a window! She dragged a nearby crate to the wall, using it to reach the ledge. Much to her surprise and good fortune, the window opened with ease. “What a dumb fuck.” Y/N muttered to herself as she lifted herself out the window.

She took off running as fast as her legs would carry her. They were cramping from being tied to a chair for so long, but she only needed to make it to the road. She could see it in the distance. Just a little farther. She missed the fallen tree hiding in the tall grass and went down, landing hard in the overgrown field. Groaning, she turned her head towards the road when she heard the rumble of an engine. She didn’t dare call out for help if Michael and his partner discovered she was missing. Y/N crawled back to the tree and tried to hide against it as well as she could.

She looked ahead and saw the grass moving and a flashlight low to the ground. Maybe it was her ears, now ringing louder with the recent fall, but she swore she heard her name.

“Y/N?” A female voice called out again.

“I’m here,” she whispered. “Please help me.”

“Hi, honey. My name is Ellen. I’m friends with Bobby. He sent me to find you,” Ellen held out her hand to help Y/N up. “Now stay low so we can get out of here.”

Y/N didn’t respond, only nodding her agreement. She couldn’t wait to get back home to Sam and get back to living their new life together.

They reached Ellen’s car and she helped Y/N inside, shutting the door softly behind her. The car was still running and the heat was on. Y/N wrapped her arms around her in an attempt to get warm. She could see Ellen at the drivers door, she was on her phone but she couldn’t hear the conversation. Ellen nodded sharply and put her phone away before she opened the door.

Noticing Y/N shivering, Ellen turned up the heater and grabbed a blanket from the backseat, handing it to her. “You okay, honey?”

“No, not really. This is so fucked up,” she murmured.

“Bobby and Jody’ll be here in a minute and we’ll get you taken care of, okay?” Ellen told her sweetly. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Ellen seemingly typing out messages on her phone, while Y/N just stared wide eyed into the night. Her trance was broken as a police cruiser passed them like a bat out of hell, lights flashing.

“That’s our cue,” Ellen replied, pulling back out on the road, following the squad into a long driveway.

Y/N started crying when she realized where they were. “No, no, no! I’m not going back. You might as well kill me now!”

“Oh, honey. It’s okay. The police are gonna get him. You’re safe right here with me,” Ellen assured Y/N as she continued to shake and cry. Ellen turned her attention back towards the house when she saw the sheriff motion her inside. Perfect timing as Bobby’s pick-up rolled in next to her. “They’re here.”

Y/N looked up and the first thing she saw was Jody’s face. She opened the door and rushed around the car to embrace her. Ellen followed suit, meeting Bobby at the front of his truck.

“Sheriff wants her inside,” Ellen explained, looking over at Y/N wrapped in Jody’s arms. “Needs her to identify the man that took her.”

“I don’t like it. Can’t it wait till tomorrow?” Bobby protested, but Ellen just shook her head. “Fine. Y/N, sweetheart? We need to go inside and talk to the sheriff. We’ll stay with you the whole time, okay?”

“Okay,” she sniffled. “Where’s Sam?”

“We’ll get him for you, okay?” Ellen told her as they headed to the door.

Ellen stepped inside first, followed by Bobby, Jody and Y/N bringing up the rear as she clung to Jody for dear life. The sheriff greeted each of them before addressing Y/N.

“Mrs. Winchester, I need you to tell me if you recognize this man,” Sheriff Hanscum said softly, cognizant of the recent trauma she had endured.

“Yeah, o-okay,” Y/N stammered. Jody helped her into a chair as one of the deputies led a handcuffed man into the room. “That’s Michael Shurley.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Winchester,” Sheriff Hanscum acknowledged, crouching next to her. “My name’s Donna, Y/N. I need a favor, I need you to look at one more. You think you can do that for me?”

She nodded as Donna stood. Her eyes stayed glued to the floor until a man’s shoes came into view. Y/N followed the line of his legs up, her brow furrowing as she reached his face. Her hand flew up, barely concealing the yelp that fell from her mouth. “Sam?”

~*~

Two weeks later, Y/N was sitting at the kitchen table having coffee with Jody. Her days were far from normal now. She resigned from her job at the school and moved in with Bobby and Jody.

“I want to see it,” Y/N raised her head and looked Jody in the eye.

“Y/N…” Jody paused, realizing she was referring to Sam’s recorded confession.

“He wouldn’t talk to me when I went to see him. I deserve an explanation,” Y/N objected. “He owes me that much.”

“Donna already turned it over. They’re being prosecuted for Jessica’s death. Dean’s still serving his life sentence, but Sam and Michael will get theirs now, too,” Jody empathized. She couldn’t imagine what the poor girl was going through. All she knew was that she needed to take care of her, just like her own daughter. That meant protecting her from the truth. She didn’t need to hear the ugly truth.

The house phone rang, startling them both. “Hello?...Yes, just a moment please. Bobby? Phone call!”

“Got it!” Bobby answered from his office, Jody hanging up the receiver.

“Ladies,” Bobby greeted Y/N and his wife as he entered the kitchen a few minutes later, giving them each a kiss on the cheek.

“Who was on the phone?” Jody inquired, refilling his coffee.

“That was the warden,” he announced.

“Oh?” Jody remarked.

“Um, yeah. He called with some news,” Bobby gulped. “Y/N, I don’t even know how to start…”

“He’s dead, isn’t he?” Y/N looked up, tears in her eyes.

“How-how did you know?” Bobby faltered.

“Michael said Dean was a control freak. It didn’t go according to plan and I’m still alive. Dean’s gotta be pissed. It just makes sense that he would go after Sam, since he couldn’t finish the job,” Y/N shrugged nonchalantly.

“Dean’s dead, too. They killed each other,” Bobby elaborated. “And Michael hung himself in his cell.”

Jody knelt next to Y/N’s chair, a comforting hand on her arm. “It’s over, baby girl.”

“No, it’s not, Jody. It’ll never be over,” Y/N surmised, looking into Jody’s eyes. “I’m late.”

~*~*~*~*~

Thank you for reading. Please tell me how you liked it. Did it invoke emotion? Are you mad at me? TELL ME!

~*~*~*~*~

Did you like it? The nicest thing you can do for a writer is reblog their work and tell them, and others, how much you like it!

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toothedsmile · 5 years

Text

The puppeteer: Chapter seven

Masterlist

Chapter seven: A hero’s guilt

Warnings: mentions of suicide, mental breakdowns, lots of sad fluffier stuff will appear soon enough…I hope

Your lifeless eyes were looking straight at the wall, your sight getting interrupted every once in a while by blinking away the tears that were building up and trying to break free every time you thought of the night before.

While hiding partially underneath your covers you heard the doorbell ring downstairs. Faint footsteps could be heard walking towards the front door. After it was opened you could hear some voices, a small pause, and the door closed again but the other person or people were still inside the house.

The familiar sound of your mother coming up the stairs was heard, she walked straight towards your door and knocked.

“Y/N? The police is here to talk to you. Please do come out and finally tell us what is going on.”

Keeping quiet you walked to your door and opened it, your mother getting a relieved smile when she saw your face but it fainted quickly when she saw that you looked terrible.

Tears tracks were visibly running down your face, your eyes were bloodshot and the red veins in them were very visible.

Your mother took your face in her hands and slowly brought your head towards herself and give a small kiss on your forehead.

“Please don’t do this to yourself.”

Those words, those cursed words. The very ones you uttered in panic while another took their life right in front of your eyes.

Don’t, please don’t do this. This isn’t the right thing.

But they didn’t listen and they fell from their personal hell into heaven.

Your breathing became harsher, breath coming faster and heartbeat speeding up.

Snot filled your nose and the tears came flowing again.

Everything was getting blurry, your head felt faint but your heart was painfully beating even faster in tandem with your breaths.

“Y/N? Y/N! It’s okay, please calm down. Breath with me darling, come on. You can do this.”

The tender warmth from a mothers love was wrapped around you as your mother hugged you, hand stroking over your head as she let out some soothing noises as one would with a baby.

While you were sitting there getting some sort of attack two people had come up the stairs after hearing some commotion coming from upstairs.

They looked at the sight and felt horrible for the news they had to give to both your mother and yourself.

A few minutes passed and you had successfully calmed yourself down enough to look up at the two unfamiliar presences.

Right there in front of you stood two police officers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All four of you had gone downstairs to sit on the two couches in the living room, the officers sat in front of your mother and you.

“Hello Y/N. We are officers Ackles and Padalecki. We would like to ask some questions about the phone call you made yesterday around 11PM.”

For a moment you mother looked confused and mouthed the words ‘phone call’ before turning her head in your direction.

“Y/N, what phone call are they talking about?”

The officers shared a glance and nodded at each other. The tallest one sighed softly and looked your mother right in the yes.

“Miss L/N. Yesterday a person has committed suicide and your daughter has seen everything happen. She was one of the first who called the police. Some witnesses have mentioned seeing some sort of golden light when the person jumped and we’d like to ask some questions about what she has seen.”

With every word that officer Padalecki said the already pale face of your mother turned several shades whiter.

“S-suicide? She called in a suicide?”

Both officers nodded seriously. They looked back at you and saw that you weren’t really feeling good at the moment. Your face was pale, your eyes were red and there were black bags beneath them from crying and the lack of sleep. Even you hair wasn’t spared from the horrible experience you had as it was completely dishevelled and a big mess of tangled strands of hair.

Officer Padalecki stood up and squatted down in front of you, with a soft smile that screamed “don’t worry” he began to talk to you while officer Ackles took your mother to the kitchen to talk.

“Hello Y/N. As I’ve already said I’m officer Padalecki. You’re not in any trouble. You did the right things, calling us, it was very brave of you to pick up your phone and call the police. The only thing we need now is some explanation about why you were there and what you know about the golden light. Nothing more, nothing less. Then we’ll go away, we might inform you later when the case is handled with some advice about traumatic experiences.”

Swallowing hard you dared to let your eyes look at his, he still had the calming smile on and his whole demeanour just told you that he meant no harm.

“Ok- Okay. Um so, I wanted to -to go out you know, without my parents knowing. B-but I saw th-thi-this shadow on the top of a bui-building and-and he-he,” Taking a deep breath you tried to take control of your sobbing and continued with your story. “He uh, he seemed like he-he was talking to someone and for a moment it looked like he didn’t want to jump bu-but then he just turned around and stepped of the-the roof and this golden light came after him li-like it wa-was trying to stop him or something I don’t know bu-but he went so-so fast and he just fell on the ground and the blood ju-just flew everywhere. Oh god the blood, there was just so much red and-and-and I just ran. I just went ho-home and c-called the police.”

Padalecki nodded, during your explanation he went to sit next to you and rubbed a hand over your shoulder to soothe you. Just thinking about it all made you cry even more, it was like your sadness wanted to be know as it came out as soft screams of horrible pain and torture from your throat. The anguish that was trapped inside your voice was heard and you felt the warmth of a hug around you, a big hand rubbed up and down your back as your curled into yourself and cried out to the world.

The guilt you felt for not having stopped that man in time, the guilt for his family, his parents that had probably loved him so much. The guilt that you had to let them feel the pain of losing a loved one, someone who should’ve gone after them and not before.

Your mother who had just finished talking with officer Jensen came running to your side and took the place of the kind officer in soothing and calming you down as she rocked you within her arms like a baby, holding you so close to her in the hopes of lessening your pain.

The officers slightly looked away of the sight and offered a silent apology for the fact that you had to go trough such great pain, and so with a quiet nod and goodbye from your mother they left your home silently, wishing for you to get better soon.

It took a good hour for you to calm down again and to keep the images of that death out of your mind. Your mother now finally understood why you were so unwilling to go to school that day, officer Jensen had explained everything that had happened the night before and the reason why you most likely looked so horrible in the morning.

She notified the school and they understood the issues and said that they would ask permission to your teachers to film the lessons so that when you went back you would be able to follow the lessons better after most likely missing a few days. They would provide some counselling on the school if you would wish so but they said that the best course of action would be to go to a professional. If it was needed anyway.

For the rest of the day you stayed inside your room with the occasional support of your mother, every once in a while your friend would send a message or call you on your phone in the hopes of knowing what happened to you and how you were feeling as they were concerned about you because you hadn’t come to school and simply thought that you managed to get sick while out yesterday.

While you laid there in your bed you couldn’t help but think about what happened, about all the things you could’ve done, the things you shouldn’t have done.

The guilt came back, everything you had thought about previously came back with so much force, the guilt seemed to grip you tightly. It was forceful and seemed to surround you, it felt like you were drowning in the guilt, like you choked on it every time you breathed in and out, pressing harshly on your chest.

And yet you couldn’t stop thinking about how you could’ve helped him, how you could’ve done something, said something that could have stopped him from jumping to his end.

It made you think.

What is a hero?

Is It someone who saves people from villains?

Someone who fights against evil for money of just for the fact that they wanted to help?

Who knows.

But you, you wanted to let people see that there was more to it than just beating up villains.

More than good vs evil.

Heroism was not just fighting the evil on the streets, no, it too was fighting the evil that hid in ones mind, that tortured innocent people. The evil that was inflicted to some by those around them.

Yes. A hero that saves people from dangers other than villains.

A hero that you would become.

You will turn that guilt into your beginning drive force to help others.

It might take a while before you would be able to turn that guilt into the fire you needed, but you would the very best you could and hoped that the person who killed himself looked down to you from heaven and would look over you, wishing that he would be proud that you would be able to help others like him, how you could’ve helped him.

You might not become the symbol of peace. But you wanted to become a helping hand to those who needed it the most, even if they were villains.

Yes, even they had stories. And you knew, you knew that you wouldn’t be able to help everyone but you would damn well do your very best to do so anyway.

You may not have had a good beginning but you might be able to make a beautiful end.

(Chapter is not yet edited. i hope you enjoyed!)

#bnha x reader #bnha #reader insert #bnha various x reader #bnha midoriya izuku x reader #bnha bakugou katsuki x reader #bnha todoroki shouto x reader #bnha various #The puppeteer

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far-too-aro-for-this · 6 years

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Why the Aro Community is Important

Alright followers, it’s time for some real talk. I haven’t been very active on here because I’ve been trying to make this post for quite some time, but it’s been hard for me to write. This is extremely personal for me, but I need to put this out here though because a post like this could have helped me a lot several years ago. Before you go on reading I’d like to go ahead and add a content warning for depression and attempted suicide.

I’ve always been very aro. I remember using crushes as sort of a social move in elementary school. When a rumor went around in second grade that my friend Hunter and I had crushes on each other, I could tell he was embarrassed, so naturally I told the worst secret keeper in the class that I had a crush on someone else and then stirred up fake drama when she told him. It took the heat off Hunter. I thought it was all political maneuvering. Kids playing at being adults. We pretended to get crushes the same way I pretended I was discovering a new continent at recess.

By the time middle school rolled around I started to believe people were telling the truth. Kids actually started dating and I got asked out myself a couple times. I’ll save those stories though, because they actually have some good comedic value and I don’t really want that to be swallowed by the depressing mess this is about to become. By mid high school I was the odd one out, and I was running out of reasons. I still pretended to have crushes, but it wasn’t a game anymore. I was afraid people would find out I didn’t. I was afraid to admit to myself that I didn’t. Most importantly, I was afraid that not being able to feel such an important emotion meant that I was somehow a bad person, or that I lacked the skills necessary for basic human connection. That’s why my junior year of high school, I hit the panic button.

More specifically, I asked out a guy in my class. He was nice enough and we had similar hobbies, so I figured that if there was anyone I could make myself fall in love with it would be him. He’d had a crush on me since freshman year, but I didn’t know that at the time. My oblivious self was halfway confident he might have liked me at the time (but my aro obliviousness is another subject reserved for later). He of course said yes, and soon we were dating. Let me tell you folks, what ensued was hell.

First off, the second we started dating I could feel a shift. Somewhere inside myself, I already knew it was all wrong. I dated this boy for about three months, and my mental health went from somewhere in the normal/healthy range to somewhere in the when did I develop severe claustrophobia range. I had my first panic attack in my marine biology class, the day after we finished dissecting squids. The smell of formaldehyde made the air feel stagnant, and the next thing I knew I was running out of the classroom because I couldn’t breathe. The teacher was also one of my science olympiad coaches, bless his soul, and he knew me and handled the situation with more grace than I could have possibly hoped for. For those three months and several months after I would skip lunch in favor of driving to my church and sitting in the greenspace. I felt so trapped in that school that those 45 minutes of fresh air were the only time of day that I could really feel air in my lungs.

This is probably making the relationship sound toxic. You’re probably sitting there thinking “what did this boy do to you and where do I sign up to hit him.” He did nothing wrong. He never pushed me into anything. Not once. In fact, this story isn’t even about my breakdown, it’s about his.

I avoided this boy for three months. I was so scared of my inability to interact with him organically. The thought of our relationship made me sick and I didn’t know where to even start that discussion with him without making it sound like I hated him. I didn’t hate him. Avoiding him like that though. Not communicating with him. That was wrong. Because I left this poor boy—who had apparently been in love with me for years—thinking I hated him. I left him in this strange limbo of why won’t my girlfriend talk to me and what did I do wrong. By the time I managed to string two thoughts together long enough to figure out I had to break up with him, I’d already done far too much damage. You see, he already had mental health problems. Not the pretty romanticized kind—if that even exists. His parents didn’t believe in mental illness either, and he was a minor so he couldn’t get help without their approval.

This is where the story gets really difficult for me. I just remember sitting in the living room with my parents. I had been bugging my mom about dinner and we were finally about to eat when I got a call from one of my now ex-boyfriends best friends. She was distraught and afraid to leave her phone. She’d gotten a message from him, and I honestly don’t remember exactly what it said, but it was a goodbye. It was a suicide note. I put on my shoes and told my parents I had to go, which raised some questions that I answered honestly but barely, “I think —— might be committing suicide. I have to go to his house” and I was out the door. Miraculously, I didn’t get pulled over. I had a smooth jazz cd playing, which felt wrong but which I also wasn’t going to change because I was too busy trying to figure out how fast I could drive without getting arrested or dead, and wondering what exactly I was going to do when I got to his house. The answer to that was to ring the doorbell and awkwardly tell him mom that I didn’t have time for the usual formalities (she was a very formal woman and there was always a huge song and dance of formalities when I came over) and that I needed to get into her son’s room right now because I thought he might have killed himself. His door was locked. His mom found an extra key. The details of everything kind of go out the window for me here. I think I may have checked out a little bit. In the end, he ended up living. He didn’t try again that I know of. He’s 21 now, like me, and he can legally make his own medical decisions. Luckily that includes getting help.

For a while after that incident, we were both raw. I don’t think I need to tell you that I still blame myself. I know that mental illness is a horrible monster, but I also know that I treated him unfairly and that his attempt being the night after I broke up with him wasn’t a coincidence. I can take responsibility for my actions and feel shame without believing that I’m 100% responsible.

All I can think of now though is how easily this could have been avoided. A million things could have stopped this. If I’d found the aro community a couple years earlier. If I’d seen even one example of someone who couldn’t feel romantic love not treated as a villain or as somebody who was broken. If the response to my worries of being evil or wrong or irredeemable had been met with anything other than “You’ll find the right person” or any other variation of love fixing me and being the answer. This isn’t a joke. This played with people’s lives.

So if anyone really wanted to know why I made this blog, it’s because of this story. You never know what consequences someone’s struggle can have, and somebody finding the aro community just a little bit earlier because of my blog could be life or death as far as I’m concerned. Not everyone’s lucky enough to come out of situations like this one alive and it’s our job as the community to protect each other until that protection isn’t needed anymore.

#aro #actually aro #actually aromantic #aromantic #text post #my personal life

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cosien · 6 years

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Sanders Sides Ghost AU HC

What is this, the thousandth ghost au? Probably. Did that stop me from writing this? Nope!

Warnings: Death but with ghosty bits, crying, wittle bit of anxiety, dat sweet sweet platonic LAMPT

Thomas is a spiritualist and works to help spirits fulfill their unfinished deeds so they can pass on

Thomas usually has one or two spirits around his house because of how often he finds them and how long helping them can take

He doesn’t mind the company though and gets a little sad when no one else is around. The company is comforting to him

Ghosts are tied to whatever location they had a strong connection with, which is usually the place they died but can move from that spot if a connection with a living person is made and then they’re tied to that person/ their house. Thomas has had a lot of spirits attached to him

As much as he enjoys helping spirits pass, once they leave it always hurts a little.

He keeps a journal of all the spirits he’s met with little pictures of them (he’ll get the pictures off the internet or draw them if he can’t find a good one/ one the spirit likes)

He got into spiritualism after a friend of his died and he started catching glimpses of them around his home

Roman died the day before a big theater performance where talent scouts were coming to watch him perform

Died the night before the show because his friends saw how he was stressing out and decided to take him out to take his mind off things

He had the main part in the play and once he died they canceled the production out of respect

Roman is upset that he didn’t get to perform but even more upset that the play got canceled

Logan died when he was out with friends who where taking him out to dinner and drinks before opening his college acceptance letter

He got the letter from his dream college and was nervously staring at it for an hour before his friends decided to take him out of the house

If he got in it was a celebration outing, if he didn’t it was a screw college outing

He slips away halfway through the night to open it and sits down with the letter balancing on his knees as he tries to psych himself up

The wind catches the letter and Logan chases after it, cursing himself for not hanging on to it tighter

He’s so focused on chasing it that he doesn’t even notice when it blows out over a large drop off and Logan plummets off it, dying on impact

It takes three days for his body to be found and the letter is nowhere in sight

Logan tries to pretend that it doesn’t bother him but he wouldn’t still be around if that were true

The others sometimes hear him cry in a distant part of the house

Patton died in front of his boyfriend and feels horribly guilty for scarring him like that

In the beginning he said that he died crossing the street to the dog park before he could pet the cute little doggies

He genuinely believes that’s why he’s stayed around (he’s in deep denial)

He was on a date with his boyfriend (going to a movie, getting ice cream, the works) when he spotted a dog park across the street

He got excited and started jumping up and down and pulling his boyfriend towards the park asking to go and when he said yes Patton sprinted across the street

He was hit by a truck that he didn’t see coming and got launched across the street

His boyfriend held him while he lay bleeding out and a small crowd started to form around them while the truck driver was on the phone with the police

Someone in the crowd even had a dog with them from the park but Patton died before he noticed

He’s always felt horrible about the event and what he put his boyfriend through but since he was told that spirits stay around because of something left unfinished/ unfulfilled he thought it was the dog thing

Virgil ended up in the hospital a week before a Panic! at the Disco concert and ended up missing it only to die the next day

He finally got his social anxiety under enough control to go to a concert for one of his favorite bands

He always wanted to go but his anxiety basically trapped him in his house

He also isolated himself from people because of this so he never had any outside motivators to go but he was excited about the people he’d meet there

After years of therapy and different medications he finally feels like he can go

Panic at the Disco concerts always looked like so much fun from the videos he’d seen on YouTube

Meeting

Thomas met Roman at his local theater and agreed to help him

Roman could often be spotted sitting in the empty seating during rehearsals or on the stage only briefly. No one has really gotten a good look at the theater ghost but most believe that he’s really there and will say goodbye to him as they leave for the night (the theater does have a ghost light and even though it just started as tradition, it’s now left on specifically for him)

Roman and Thomas go out to explore the town and get something to eat to get to know each other better

This is where the two run into Logan at the outskirts of town and he joins up with them

They spend the rest of the night getting to know each other and they finally go back to Thomas’ place

On one of Thomas weekly trips to the hospital (he goes there to seek out more spirits to help. It’s where he finds most of them) he spots Virgil and spends almost an hour trying to follow him and convince him that he only wants to help him. Virgil eventually gives in (half of it was just to get Thomas to stop acting like a fool in front of the staff (they’re used to it)) and they head home

On the way back Thomas sees Patton run in front of his car and slams on the breaks. He freaks out once he see that Patton is literally inside the hood of his car but calms down once he remembers ghost are a thing. Patton comes along excitedly

Thomas is quietly happy to have such a full house again

Ending

Thomas sets up Roman’s canceled play again, and even manages to get most of the original cast back. Thomas promotes the crap out of the show, drawing in a rather large audience with the added benefit of donating the funds to theater programs that put on plays for kids in hospitals. He even gets the talent scout to come back (Thomas has a lot of connections) as a guest. Thomas plays the main role and dedicates the performance to Roman. It’s the best play he’s seen and even though he’s not apart of it, to see what could’ve been gives him an warm tingling feeling in his heart. Some people might report seeing a crying man sitting in one of the empty reserved seats before disappearing but that would just be ridiculous

Logan’s letter is long gone but Thomas still is determined to find it. He gets in contact with the school and pulls a few strings to get a new letter sent out again. Once it arrives Logan is once again scared to open it so Thomas suggests going for a drive. They drive for a few hours, not saying much as Logan clutches the envelope and stares out the window. The car eventually stops and Thomas and Logan get out, simply walking around the large green laws of wherever they’ve stopped. It’s only after a half an hour that they stop at what appears to be front doors and Logan realizes where they are. A tear falls down his face as he reads the campus sign before ripping open the letter and quickly reading it. “I got in.” He all but whispers but them shouts it a second time, jumping up and down as he bawls uncontrollably, giving Thomas a tight hug before shouting his accomplishments over and over again

Thomas takes Pat out to the same dog park he wanted to go to all those years ago and they just walk around and laugh, reaching down to pet some dogs that zoom by or jump up to greet them. After almost an hour of playing with the pooches dose Patton realize he’s now alone. He looks around frantically and spots Thomas next to a large tree, talking to someone out of view. He runs over with a “why’d you’d run off kiddo-“ but cuts himself as he sees the other person Thomas is talking to. It’s been so long but Patton still remembers every aspect of his face like it was engraved into his eyelids. He’d missed him so much. Patton cries silently, just looking at who used to be the love of his life. He eventually starts to listen in on their conversation and lets out a choked laugh at the topic. They’re talking about him, specifically the time he tried to sneak a cat out from a pet shelter but his constant sneezing gave him away. His boyfriends laugh melted his heart and he just fonds over the other as the two talk about him. The conversation takes a turn though as Thomas asks how he’d dealing with it all and Patton just holds his breath, scared to hear about how he’s ruined his loves life. But his boyfriend instead tells Thomas a story about the people in his life. How he grew up in a dysfunctional household but the old lady next door always let him stay at her house and bake cookies, until she passed away in his teenage years. How the nice English teacher would always help him out with his school homework and was part of the reason he even graduated. How a nice family had bought him a pizza when he was short on change and had been struggling to make ends meet for a while. He explained that although these people where in his life for only a short amount of time, they changed him into the person he was today and he wouldn’t trade those moments for the world. “It’s the same with Pat. He... he made me into a better person. The world was so much brighter with him. I loved, I laughed, I was more myself then I’d even been in my whole life and it was all because of him. Him dying killed me inside. I felt hopeless and empty but… I can’t change what happened. I have to live my best and fullest life; if for no one else then for him. To show him how much better I’ve become. Our time was short, too short, but damn it, he helped me to be so much better and I refuse to let that go to waste.” He was crying now but a smile still shone proudly on his face as the sun started to set. Patton lost it, weeping from sadness and happiness and all he could do was go up and pull his boyfriend into a hug. His boyfriend shuttered slightly at what seemed to be a familiar touch but relaxed with the passing of a warm breeze.

Virgil seemed easy enough but ever since he died his anxiety had been through the roof. Thomas had already purchased the tickets but now came the hard part; getting Virgil psyched to go. It took some time but eventually Virgil’s excitement overtook his anxiety and he was soon bouncing off the walls with unbridled energy. That is, until the concert day showed up and his anxiety hit him again full force. Thomas didn’t know what to do and they had to leave in about an hour (not that he’d tell Virgil that) so he sat down and just talked with him, trying to get to the bottom of all this. Nothing seemed to be working until Virgil had muttered that he shouldn’t be so scared to go to a concert where he’d be accepted as he was, then it clicked. Every time Virgil talked about going to this thing, he talked about making new friends, being in an understanding environment, or having a place of his own, as he put it. It was never about the concert, it was about being accepted. Thomas pulled Virgil up suddenly and started pulling him towards the door despite his protests. “Stop, what’re you doing!” Virgil shouted and Thomas spun around and looked Virgil dead in the eyes. “We’re going out.” Thomas let out a sly smile, “as a family.” Virgil looked behind him to see the others standing there, waiting to go. Virgil let out a slight sniffle but covered it with the clearing of his throat. “Well, let’s go then.” And they all went out to the concert together. Afterwards they went out to eat and ended up at the restaurant until closing where they then changed locations to a grassy park where they laid out under the stars. The conversations were light and teasing and maybe it was now Thomas’ turn to let out a few tears as he realized how close he’d gotten with these spirits and how he was happy to call them his family.

They all go home and Thomas sits on the couch with them all and watches a movie together. He knows that they’ll all have to leave soon, pass on now that they have no ties to this world anymore but he pushes the thoughts away. Maybe avoidance will make their departure hurt less. He drifts off not too much later, trying to stay awake for their conversations but inevitable failing. Once he wakes up he sees the the living room is empty and just stares at the walls for a while, frustrated with himself for not staying awake to see them off and eventually letting the sadness fill his heart as the reality of the situation slowly sinks in. He’s alone again. Just these four walls, his thoughts, and the smell of pancakes in the air. Thomas freezes. Pancakes? Why pancakes? He slowly gets up and follows the smell to the kitchen, spotting Patton working at the stove, quietly humming with Virgil working on cleaning dishes next to him. Before Thomas can open his mouth he hears the heavy footfalls of Roman coming down the stairs and what sounds like harsh whispers between him and Logan (something about the best flavor of some type of jelly). Roman stops upon seeing Thomas up “Oh, you’re up. Sorry, we were trying to be quite.” Patton spins around at that and gives Thomas a huge smile, “good morning! We didn’t wake you did we?” Thomas just stands there, looking at them all as his brain tried to process it. They’re still here. They stayed. They’re with him and he’s not alone. “You ok kiddo?” But the only response Patton gets are tears rolling down Thomas face. “Oh no, what’s wrong?” Patton rushes over to him, giving him a big hug. Thomas buries his face into Patton’s shoulder and cries. He feels Roman come up behind him, his strong arms holding him securely. Logan and Virgil join a second later, hugging his sides (ha) and enveloping him completely in their embrace. “You stayed...” Thomas mutters out. “Of course we did,” Patton responds, “we’re FAMily!”

By the way, I have no intention of writing this so if any of you people want to take this idea and run with it feel free

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #LAMPT #ghost au #my writing #long post #I feel like roman really got the shaft for development in this but damn I can not write for that boy #I love him but I'm not equipped for his Extra (tm) personality #maybe one day my sweet prince

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thethirdrose · 7 years

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A Chronicle of Anne Shirley’s Girlfriends

So listen. I know the Anne of Green Gables books really very well. But the more I reread them the more frequently I have moments where my queer lady self really can’t do anything except howl “HOW COULD THIS EVER BE CONSIDERED HETEROSEXUAL??????”*

And so I have taken it upon myself to chronicle the progression of Anne’s intimate relationships with various women throughout the first five books, mostly just citing the actual text as actually published because it kind of speaks for itself. This is meant to serve as textual support for my contention that Anne is hella, hella gay and would probably have be happiest taking a couple months off every year to go live in a lesbian writer’s commune.

*Yes, I am aware that the answer to that is “by the power of ever-changing but no more or less restrictive standards of heterosexuality.” That doesn’t change the underlying point.

SO. LET’S BEGIN.

EXHIBIT A: DIANA BARRY (THE FIRST LOVE)

This is the one that everyone loves to cite. I mean, to be fair, it kind of cites itself. It starts off with an oath of friendship clearly cribbed from some sort of romance novel, but that’s easy enough to put down to Anne’s canonical desperation for companionship. But then –

Yes. This is definitely, 100% a normal friendship reaction. Totally! NBD! I also get intensely jealous of the hypothetical romantic partners of all my totally platonic friend relationships. It gets better though. Diana’s mother is introduced for the sole purpose of separating the two friends and forbids them from playing together. They’re given ten minutes (!) to say goodbye.

(As a side note, check out how “I didn’t think anybody could love me” is a real thing that Anne Shirley says that just gets slipped in there.) Anne then asks for a lock of her hair (!!!!), which Diana happily gives her. Of course, they’re soon reconciled, and Anne immediately goes back to spending every possible moment with her and talking about her nonstop whenever they have to attend to silly things like school and chores and families.

On the other hand, the thing about Diana is that while Diana is happy to follow Anne’s lead and is clearly Anne’s first love, Diana is also…actually pretty straight. Unpopular opinion, I know, but for her, her relationship with Anne is clearly a platonic-best-friends kind of deal. Anne is important to her, Anne is her best friend, but her relationship with Anne isn’t central to her life. It’s not all-consuming and life-changing in the way that the way Anne feels clearly is for her. Diana quickly and contentedly gets married to a dude, while Anne has a wistful moment (or three) (or ten) over the slow changes in their friendship.

BUT the stage is set for Anne’s long catalogue of intense and intimate relationships with women.

EXHIBIT B: PHILIPPA GORDON (THE MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL)

I have an outsize love for Philippa (aka Phil), who seems to waltz onto the page with careless abandon and proceed to charm the pants off everyone, including the reader, and definitely including Anne. At this point Anne is a grown-up damsel of twenty, past the loves of childhood and ready to expand her horizons in her college years. Two of her “chums” from books past, Stella and Priscilla, appear frequently as well, but Phil has a particularly intimate relationship with Anne, which makes Anne (for once) the one pursued rather than the one pursuing:

Phil also flirts shamelessly with everyone in sight, regardless of gender:

I love that Phil clearly started out as a morality play City Girl intended to showcase the Corruption of Wealth and High Society in contrast to Anne’s Wholesome Country Girl, and then managed to undermine the moral entirely by dint of her total appreciation of and lack of resentment for Anne. Just look at this moment where Phil tries to convince Anne to come home with her for the holidays:

It’s a bit of a one-sided relationship in some ways – Phil doesn’t have as much to teach Anne as Anne has to teach her – but it’s nice to see Anne be fully appreciated and loved by someone very different from her.

EXHIBIT C: KATHERINE BROOKE (THE ENEMY-TO-FRIEND)

Katherine Brooke is the other principal at the school Anne ends up working at while Gilbert is in medical school, who spends at least a year and a half making a point of being mean to Anne at every opportunity in the pettiest ways possible. It is later revealed that this is because she’s jealous of Anne’s happiness, although she puts it in slightly more poetic terms:

Anne, of course, is able to win her over, although not before delivering the iconic line “Katherine Brooke, whether you know it or not, what you want is a good spanking!” They share dark secrets with each other – Katherine is the first person that we see Anne share her horrible childhood with as an adult and Katherine tells Anne about her experience being brought up by her abusive uncle and aunt, her feeling of being trapped as a teacher, and her longing to travel. (Just as a side note, it is probably an under-acknowledged fact that these books do not pull punches when it comes to childhood neglect and abuse. Anne spends her entire childhood up to age eleven (after she’s orphaned as an infant) as an unpaid maid/nanny before being sent to an orphanage; Katherine’s fate is similar minus Anne’s deus ex machina adoption.) Anne also makes her over, in very classic (gay) ugly duckling fashion, convincing her to enter a reading competition and then helping her dress for it. She even, by the end of that semester, has convinced her to change careers and take a job that will actually let her do the traveling she wants, although she leaves a forlorn Anne behind, saying wistfully in a letter to Gilbert “There was so much to discover in Katherine, when you once got past her guard.”

EXHIBIT D: LESLIE MOORE (THE ANGSTY THREESOME)

Leslie Moore is sort of a special case, in that her relationship with Anne is the only one of these intense and intimate friendships that Gilbert Blythe (Anne’s ongoing love interest/husband) also participates in. She’s Anne’s neighbor in her and Gilbert’s first home, a beautiful woman with a tragic past. Anne sees her without knowing who she is as they approach their new home and christens her “the girl with the splendid, resentful eyes.” Then they meet again on a stormy night, when Leslie accidentally sees Anne dancing and laughing on the shore (the original meet-cute!!!) resulting in this wonderful introduction:

Anne doesn’t quite know what to make of her, but finds her deeply interesting, saying to her husband later:

Yeah, ok.

It emerges that Leslie was bullied into a marriage with an abusive man who had an accident soon after they were married and now is severely intellectually disabled, leaving Leslie as his caregiver. This just sets the scene for a friendship that rivals Anne’s friendship with Diana for intensity:

And she does!

And yet, something remains between the happy pair and Leslie, clearly a product of the tragedy of Leslie’s situation:

(My kingdom for a really good, angst-ridden fic where Leslie ends up having a threesome with them, honestly.)

But Anne soon faces her own tragedy, in the sudden death of her first-born daughter after she herself almost dies in childbirth. And soon after, Leslie makes her declaration of love, in a chapter very aptly titled “Barriers Swept Away,” which honestly deserves to be quoted more or less verbatim:

They spend some time processing, but finally it seems that nothing remains as a barrier between them:

I MEAN. THAT’S FINE. LET’S JUST LEAVE OUR TWO HEROINES LITERALLY CRYING ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY LOVE EACH OTHER.

They have a beautiful summer together before further shenanigans ensue, and Leslie eventually gets free of her terrible husband (through a truly glorious plot twist); the book starts to wrap up with this lovely little gem:

That seems – well, like a good place to end this, honestly. QED, Anne’s friendships with women are the most beautiful collection of interesting and varied loves anyone could ask for. It’s a good reminder of what fiction looks like that runs rings around the Bechdel test and then tosses it out a window, which honestly we could all use a little more of.

#anne of green gables #l. m. montgomery #contains spoilers for pretty much all the first five books #anne shirley #diana barry #philippa gordon #katherine brooke #leslie moore #this is the story you asked for / I leave it in your mouth #listen anne is my FAVE #there are very few other characters I would expend this much effort on #so here you all go #feelings about stories #and Ruth said: entreat me not to leave thee

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hivyn · 7 years

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all of them!

oh jeez, why omg

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

i was sitting in the theater and was so amazed by everything. I hyped myself up for it by reading the book and it was so worth it. I still love httyd.

2: Talk about your first kiss.

OOOH boi. It was bad. We just finished watching zootopia, the dude kept staring at me, but I was so into the animation and the end credits and wanted to see who did what because I am a nerd like that. Dude had to tap me on the shoulder and just went for it. I felt nothing. Just that i was kissed and mentally just went “okay that happened, but I wanted to finish watching the credits…”

3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.

yeeeeee,not really sure anymore, romantically because of a relationship would be my ex, romantically as in a crush, well, I am a pining dork who never follows through with things so, that would be a long list…

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.

Not following through on said feelings towards people. Probably would be a lot better off in that department.

5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.

It was a snow storm on my b-day again and we were trapped in my friend’s house for a week and we made the catch from scratch with the old oven they had. It was pretty neat.

6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.

the superbowl and painting the house took priority.

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.

I am really insecure about my body, and if whoever likes me is okay with it. I don’t have flawless skin. It is scarred and it is ever changing with certain things and I have been trying really hard to care for it, but I don’t think that will be much help. I want to be as pretty and I think I could be, but there are just some days where I don’t think that is possible.

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.

My family and friends (cheesy I know). They have done so many cool things and are still changing the world and growing and it makes me so happy to see them progress.

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.

I have a lot of dimples when I smile. My eye lashes are really long. I have a bunch of teeny moles. I got a scar on my thumb that I like to rub.

10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.

Me and my mom I think over my grades back in high school. I can’t even remember the details of it other than being upset.

11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.

Pink vader pollypocket shows up as me and my friends and parading this mall/airport/smoothieshop/homedepot hybrid which led to a telekinetic fighting ring where my bestie at the time macked out with the dude who was winning for info as we escaped pollypocket-vader

12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.

A tornado took everything away that I loved while I was chained down. Then i was scared and alone on a glacier in a circus, but it was water instead of sand, as an orca bumped it a bunch to get me to fall in the waters.

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.

awkward af I imagine. I know a lot of stuff for it, but that isn’t going to help. My hair will probably be colorful or long though.

14: Talk about a vacation.

I went with my family to Puerto Rico. We saw the entire island and even some smaller outcropping ones. We went to the rainforest again. We saw all the varying shades of the ocean. Ate/drank coconuts. Enjoyed family time too.

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.

I was just sitting in the living room with my family. I was on break, my siblings and I were just playing fantasy life, eating home made chex mix, watching horrible christmas romcom’s with our mom. Our dad was going to be home later. My cat was cuddled up into me. I really felt at home and safe.

16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.

So I don’t go out much so I can’t recall.

17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.

They are really cute and sweet. I am so curious about them too. I want to talk to them, but when I get the courage they leave early or I get interrupted. I just want to know them better.

18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.

We always went to the country fair as a class to see the firetrucks, some class activities. Holding chicks. Milking a cow. Pulling up potatoes. Go to the petting zoo. Etc.

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.

I was friends with the science teacher’s granddaughter and was frequently bullied. So when one of my bullies went to the bathroom, while we were all sort of distracted, he put a fake piece of poop in her seat. She came back and flipped out. He said “You left us a gift in the toilets and on the seat? How generous”

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.

My computer tech teacher got out a blow torch and a screw driver and roasted some s’mores for us.

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.

I was not feeling this one guy. He was sweet, but was not my type. He asked me out on a date and I said no. Then I saw him at a class reunion and thankfully my classmate sat next to me because dude would not stop staring and trying to change my mind.

22: Talk about your worst fear.

... I am scared of dying (? on the list really) I want to do so many things and love and cherish people and to just have that suddenly stop, I don’t know how I feel about it.

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.

I don’t go out much, or date so it was pretty much, “want to get a coffee together” “not really, no” “okay see you”

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

My sister told me she was proud of my progress in my art.

25: Talk about an ex-best friend.

We just don’t talk anymore. I moved away and we stopped talking. I think about them a lot. I wonder if they are okay.

26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick.

Cuddle my cat. Drink tea or soda. crackers and soup are my diet for the day. sleep for ages. stay in bed.

27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body.

I love when people smile. Their whole face lights up or crinkles and it is really amazing to see people happy.

28: Talk about your fetishes.

I wouldn’t know? Probably something vanilla??

29: Talk about what turns you on.

I am still figuring this out about myself tbh, and is super rare for me. Sometimes I just see a person and the rest of me is like “yes, that is good.”

30: Talk about what turns you off.

easy, noncon stuff.

31: Talk about what you think death is like.

Absence. Just a sudden hum in your ears. Everything is both light and dark. You feel weightless, as if you don’t remember what the rest of your existence was like. You are just there.

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

My yard from Oklahoma. We had an acre of land. Lots of exploring. We had several trees close to the house and a hill in the back that had a fence with horses. (May have shocked myself feeding said horses) We had a pretty little garden box surrounding the front door that lead to the driveway with clovers and various other flowers.

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.

I hide away. I close myself off, I get quiet. I put on layers of clothes or at least conceal my face. I listen to sad music or something with a lull to it. I make sure no one is around so I can cry in peace.

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.

I bruised my hip or tailbone. Black bruising to the bone. I couldn’t walk. It hurt to sit down. I had to waddle everywhere, and even then I had pain shooting up my spine with each step. I couldn’t lean down or shift my hips to get comfy. Sleeping was impossible to do. I was shaking a bunch the first day with just moving.

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.

Picking my face and scratching my neck. Nervous/bored habits die hard.

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.

I love ghost adventures and spooky things, but I get so scared afterwards. I also love horribly cliche romcom’s. I also love to watch syfy cheesy movies or medical shows.

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.

We were doing great too. We talked about the future. I had felt comfortable with them at the time. And then it changed, I didn’t feel comfortable anymore. It felt off, like a lie. I was hoping to feel something, but nothing happened. And I felt horrible about it.

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.

Cheap Thrills reminds me of my friend Sparrow. Girl of Fire is my friend Tim. My sister is Here Comes a Thought.

39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.

That I was going to be in school longer because of my major, or that my credits were worthless at this new university.

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.

My dog Highfive died back when I was in highschool. We had him for ten years and loved him so much, then he was gone. He got sick and it was just a matter of time, but it still hurt. I was the only one out of my siblings to go see him while he was not doing so hot. It was scary, but I am glad I got to say goodbye.

#coffeekina #asks #sorry this took long I have been busy

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