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boylebingo · 3 years

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fic writers tag

@montygreen tagged me in this ages ago but I have been having the nuttiest couple of weeks so it took me a hot sec to get to this, but I do appreciate it and if you somehow don’t already follow leila on here, you should go do that rn

now down to business :)

1) How many works do you have on AO3? only 3 at the moment!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count? 45238 as of today

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? just never have i ever! although i’m sure there are a few unfinished, never-published, years-old stories from assorted fandoms from when I was younger floating around in the void somewhere

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

haha well I’ve only got 3 published, but the number one spot goes to vanilla ice cream, which makes sense since it’s the only one i’ve actually finished so far 🙈

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

none of them? i feel like the reason i often read fic is because there is some unresolved canon-angst that i want someone else to resolve so while i definitely have points of tension, all of my stories tend to end (or are planned to end) happy

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

i think vanilla ice cream will still probably be the fluffiest bc of that epilogue i decided to write last minute, even once i finish all the others. but they’re all pretty happy 🥰

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

not so far, though i try to make it a habit to never say never. I think its one of those things that’s really difficult to write well and I’m just not sure it’s in my skillset to do so. but who knows? maybe one day!

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

see above haha. it’s pretty much the exact same answer :)

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really try to answer all of them, although I know I missed a bunch while I was on a sorta unplanned writing hiatus. It’s only been a year of me posting anything I’ve written and it still genuinely baffles me that people not only read but also enjoy the things I put out there into the world, so every “thank you for reading” is from the heart for me and it’s so worth taking the two seconds to make my appreciation known.

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

no, thankfully! i think part of that is just i haven’t been around that long haha

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t... think so?

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

no but how cool is that? i wasn’t even really aware that was a thing that could happen!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no! but if anyone wants to feel free to hmu 👀 i am super busy rn but i would love to eventually cuz so many of the folks who write for this show are so talented

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

oh gosh. all time is really, really hard. obvi for NHIE i’ve fully boarded the ben/devi train, but some other all time TV faves of mine are ben/leslie from parks&rec, david/patrick from schitts creek, and josh/donna from the west wing. you might be able to tell i love a rivals to lovers moment from some of these lol 💀 but there are so many that i love for different reasons it’s like picking a favorite child lmao

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I do have plans to finish the 2 remaining fics up on ao3, but I will admit, the rosy dot over the i of loving was... ambitious, and not exactly well thought out when I started it. so it may be a while. i haven’t started much else new since those 3 went up, since i’ve been trying to finish what i’ve started. but i have had this ben/devi idea rattling around in my brain ever since i read the book “the unhoneymooners” that I am just not sure i’ll ever quite get around to.

16) What are your writing strengths?

i like to think i’m pretty good at writing dialogue! in college, i took a creative writing class for playwriting, where it was drilled into our head that you want to get as much of the story as humanly possible out through words, rather than actions. basically my professors argument was that any stage direction could be ignored by a director if the action/object/setting/etc. wasn’t directly referred to in lines said by a character. so if it was important to you, we should make someone talk about it! i think because of that my narration tends to be a little sparser (but hopefully that’s to the benefit of the dialogue!!)

oh, and i also took a class in humor writing and got an A, so.... 👀

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

i think i could be a lot better at coming up with themes/symbols/metaphors/etc. Having not really planned out the WIPs on AO3 now, this was hard to do, so I guess that also goes hand in hand with my time management haha. But yeah I find it a little difficult to have those sorts of literary devices in longer works (i used to write a lot more poetry and it was a little easier for me in that format so i have faith that i can get better).

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i only fluently speak english and you do not want to see me butcher french or german, let alone a language I’ve never taken courses in. so it’s a hard no for me personally haha. that said if you know more than another language, first of all i’m jealous, and second of all, go for it!

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

i don’t really know! like i said i used to write things without publishing them anywhere, so it’s hard to remember. maybe harry potter, when I was like 10? i feel like i probably wrote the same self-insert hogwarts moment that literally every 10 year old in the late-aughts was writing haha

i know for sure there was a b99 fic that was almost published on ao3 back in like season 2 or 3? that’s why my username is what it is 😊

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

i’m really proud of finishing vanilla ice cream. buuuut i am also really proud of the poems in the rosy dot over the i of loving and i think if i ever finish that one, it will be my favorite for pushing me out of my writing comfort zone.

Tagging: fellow benvi advocate and @gross-vishwakumar and anyone else who would like to answer that hasn’t already been tagged by someone else cuz i know i got to this a bit late lol 🙈

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hyperfixiationstation · 4 years

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Thoughts on LUCIDS Part four

Once again, I took forever to post this, sorry. Spoilers for LUCIDS Part four under the cut.

1. I love the little chimes when the apple pops up into view as he throws it. I just think the opening scene is really cool.

2.Wait if they met in Elementary school, does that mean in this universe Benjamin could go and talk to a little Isabelle?

3. I definitely have to copy down his speech about everything constantly existing for theorizing purposes.

4. Benjamin writing his proposal speech is the sweetest thing I have ever scene, and I am absolutely in love with their relationship now. I desperately wish that there were more fanfiction writers in this fandom so that I could read so much fanfiction about it! Unfortunately, we have a grand total of like one person, so I guess I will have to suffer.

5.Aghhh I love Isabelle's voice!

6.Oh my god its the scene from the epilogue!

7.I LOVE THEIR INTERACTIONS SO MUCH! Oliver making for of Benjamin for being dramatic is quite possibly my favorite thing ever. I’ve probably mentioned this already, but Characters and relationship dynamics are always my favorite things in any series, and little things like that, and them knowing there is going to be a PowerPoint when Ms. Hills talks to them gives me so much joy.

8. Ms. Hills back at it again with the stellar memes! Also, the roasting of Benjamin’s jokes is so good.

9. Wait, its been at least 3 days, and neither of their parents have gotten at all suspicious that they haven’t seen their child? I’m slightly worried by this information.

10. I know that I’ve been talking about like, every other line so far, but they’ve just been so good that it feels wrong for me not to comment on them. Anyway, the shot of Oliver calling dibs on Benjamin’s bed, Benjamin protesting, then it immediately cutting to Oliver sitting on Benjamin’s bed while joking with him is one of my favorite scenes in this whole series, and this episode has already managed to surpass part 2 as my favorite episode at only like 5 minutes in.

11. Oliver’s facial expressions when Benjamin is going on about the dreamscapes are so incredible, and I just- UGH! I can’t express how much I love this series.

12.Ok, I already addressed how I’ve been talking about every single line and how redundant I am in this post, so I’m just going to say how much I love Benjamin and Oliver’s dynamic one more time, and then I’ll shut up about it for this episode.

13. Ms. Hill’s facial expressions and mannerisms are one of my favorite things about this frickin series. Her little proud shift when she tells them that she made more “Dank memes” and her smirk at Oliver’s terrible joke are so good.

14. Ok, now we’ve caught up to the point where everything in Jasper, the Epilogue, and the Trailer have happened, so there is literally zero knowledge of what is going to happen going forward, and I am so excited for it!

15. Did Quinn not recognize Benjamin from the cult? Or was he just asking about Oliver?

16. I did say I wasn’t going to praise Benjamin and Oliver’s dynamic anymore, but I have to give some appreciation to Jasper and Quinn. Gosh it’s great. Like we only got one scene, but gushing about a show together is one of the best examples of friendship. Also, I’m so glad that Oliver got to hear people gush about his show like that. He deserves it.

17. QUINN IS A LUCID! I lowkey expected that, but I didn’t expect him to be like... practiced at it. Also, my friend mentioned this when I rewatched it with her, but the swear filter is such a great detail.

18. Why was this scene cut into Jasper episode 6? Does time move that much quicker in Jasper’s dreamscape? Does this give an indication of how time works as far as dreamscapes go? Does time move quicker in some dreamscapes than others? Did he not actually see this when he was knocked out at that time, and that was just foreshadowing?

19. Hey, he referenced the discord! Cool!

20. Oliver getting winded after like 5 seconds of running is a mood. Like same dude, same.

21. Time for your regularly scheduled loving the music in this series mention. It is so incredibly good! I’ve actually been paying more attention to it lately, and I am completely blown away. I don’t know if that is because this is like par for the course, and I haven’t really thought about the soundtrack for shows that much in the past, or because this series in particular is really good, but either way I enjoy it immensely.

22.I do not talk enough about the cinematography in this thing. Once again, it might not be more than what most shows do, but this is all done by like one guy! It is amazing!

23. I just realized that Oliver and Benjamin probably just straight up passed out in the Whole Foods in the first episode of TAOBAO.

24. I wonder if Jasper is going to address what Oliver told him with Quinn later, or if he’s just gonna be like, “oh well,” and keep on livin.

25. It is moments like these where I wish the fandom was bigger. Normally, I would have been reading Oliver/Benjamin and Quinn/Jasper fanfiction this entire time, and then after this interaction I would have been able to enjoy the brand new flurry of Jasper/Oliver fanfiction, but once again, all I can do is suffer.

26. Wait, why didn’t Ms. Hills realize that Quinn was a Lucid before? Are there certain criteria you have to meet to technically be a Lucid?

27. Was weird time jumping shenanigans going on? Why did we get a clip of Benjamin waking up? Are we going to learn more about how LUCIDS do time stuff in the future?

28. The Ah! A tree! guy was funny enough on his own, but Nick later explained it on the livestream, and gosh, that was a layered joke.

29. What the actual fuck Ms. Hills. God I have so many thoughts and feelings about this scene. First of all, I almost cried the first time I watched it. Second of all, how are Benjamin and Oliver going to handle this information? Oliver especially? Like that is brutal man. Third of all, who did Quinn meet? Did he find another Lucid who trained him? What happened? Fourth of all, does Arthur know about this? Also, this was an observation from someone in the Discord server who wasn’t me, but does this have any implications for Arthur leaving and then Ms. Hills telling Oliver that “he always comes back”? Holy shit man, this scene is so crazy.

30. Benjamin cheated on Isabelle!? When they had a daughter together!? That scene was like two punches to the face, finding out about what Ms. Hills did, and then what Benjamin did. I can’t believe that he would open with that 2 minute shot making me fall completely in love with their relationship, and then just rip out my heart and completely stomp on it like that.

31.Before I go into my closing thoughts, I just have to mention how much I love that ending music. Its so sweet and calming and comforting, and I want to be able to listen to the full version as soon as possible. This episode took everything I loved about Part 2, and then ramped it up to a ten. The soundtrack felt even more impressive, the characterization was pure gold in every single line, the character dynamics felt so real and natural, the plot twists were so incredibly insane, and the ending music makes me feel even more like I’m going to cry than the one from Part 2 did, but like in a good, comforting way.

32. Every single character in this series has to have an angsty backstory and moral complexity, don’t they? Like I can’t think of a single main character that those things don’t apply to in at least some way.

33. Apparently Isabelle is voiced by a fan called astronautdancer (I think that is right) on TikTok who made a spinoff series about Isabelle, which I’m really excited to watch! (Nick did say it probably wasn’t canonical though)

#thank you so much for reading this post if you actually managed to make it through the whole thing #I can't believe how quickly he manages to put out this episodes #and they are all such incredibly high quality!#sorry about using such and also so much in this post #LUCIDS #nicholas podany #LUCIDS Part four #LUCIDS Part 4 #god I love this series so much

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catxtopia · 4 years

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Lips Of a Stranger} Chp. 10

Author: catxtopia

Ship: Billdip ((fluffy))

Characters: Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines, Bill Cipher, Gideon Gleeful

Summary: The Night Vale AU no one asked for.

Author notes: I am back on my bullshit, lets finish this.

Read: ao3

((HOHO Betcha thought you saw the last of me.

Four years late but hey I fricken finished this shit! I sat down literally yesterday after a kind person commented that they still wait for updates on this story (srsly so sorry and you're so sweet holly heck, never say comments don't totally motivate a writer) and finished this. I already had this chapter written many years ago but I didn't wanna post it until I finished the rest (so sorry for my dumb past self). So this one sounds pretty much the same as the rest of the story, however cannot confirm for the rest of the work.

I haven't written in ages, I don't particularly like writing anymore if I am being honest. I am not great at it but I have a lot of ideas lmao. So I just wanna preface that the ending... probably not great lol. I will have a full report on the last chapter, however, on my old ideas for this story and what I thought it could be. There is probably a lot of plot holes and unanswered things but I tried^^;;;

Anyways, I'll upload either every day or every other day depending. But this shall finally be finished lads! (also no beta, we're animals here)))

“You found it!?”

Lying still, yet menacingly, on the kitchen table was a maroon journal with a black number 1 inked firmly in the center. It was larger than an average book and much worse for wear, the red leather was ripped and mystery blotches were smudged in several different locations on the cover. Mabel and Dipper stood around the object that had been of desire for so long. Neither made a move to touch it, treating it like an old relic—which it very well could have been as far as Dipper knew.

“Yeah, it was in this wired compartment in a tree outside.” Dipper scratched lightly at his chin, eyes roaming over the book. His fingers itched with curiosity for he had yet to open and examine the contents inside. He wasn’t sure if he should, waiting for Cipher seemed like the logical option but that required calling the man, followed by seeing him again, and the thought of meeting gold eyes sent his stomach through all kinds of loops. Thus, his phone stayed promptly in his pocket where it felt like it weighed a thousand pounds.

“Compartment in a tree, huh?” Mabel repeated, a confused look crossing her face. She, too, moved her hand to rub lightly at her chin in thought. “How’d you come across that?”

Dipper stiffened ever so slightly, and then casted a glance at his intrigued sister. He cleared his throat and shifted to stuff his hands in his pockets roughly. “I just, ya know, fell against it.” He shrugged, trying his best to remain cool—which was, to say, impossible when it came to Dipper Pines.

“Fell against it, hm?” Mabel’s eyebrow slowly started rising.

“Yes, I fell against it!” Dipper sputtered, looking away towards the book again. “The details of how I found the book aren’t important. What is important is that I found it !”

Mabel stifled her giggles as much as her lips would allow. “Whatever you say, Bro bro.” She mused and leaned over the dusty object, intentionally ignoring the tomato that was now her brother beside her. He’d been through enough teasing this morning, she’d let him off the hook this once. “What do you thinks inside?”

Dipper leaned back against the kitchen counter, crossing his arms over his chest. “No idea.” He quietly thought back to the times he and Cipher were looking for said book. A distant memory of going to the junkyard and the words black magic and demons , danced in the back of his mind but he elected to ignore those warnings. If the book really was dangerous, there was no way Cipher would be looking for it. At least that’s what Dipper told himself.

“Are you going to open it?” Mabel quirked a brow, eyes not leaving the book.

Dipper shifted against the counter. “I don’t know, Mabes. Maybe we should wait for Cipher to open it first.”

Mabel pursed her lips and squinted at the book.

There was a long pause, the only sound being whispers from the TV playing in the other room. Then Mabel, with a big intake of breath, announced loudly: “I am gonna open it.” And quickly flipped the front cover open.

“Mabel!” Dipper yelped, but his words fell on deaf ears as the young girl turned another page, and then another. “Mabes, seriously, be careful with it! We don’t know what it is, it could be super old and crumble at human touch! Who knows what—”

As Dipper rambled on and on, Mabel’s quick movements tentatively began to slow. She flipped only one more page before stopping and taking in a soft gasp, voice riddled with distraught. “Oh my gosh.” She whispered breathlessly. Dipper paused in his ranting, staring at the back of his sister's head since he couldn’t see the book around her. “I can’t believe this.”

“What?” He inquired, a drop of unease plopping into the pits of his stomach. Mabel’s shoulders were tense; body rigged with what Dipper could only assume was fear. She looked as though she was witnessing a demon rise out from the pits of hell, or at the very least like her sweaters were being set aflame. And throughout it all, all Dipper could hear were McGucket’s warnings ringing loud and clear inside his jumbled head. “That books bad news I tell ya! Black magic, raising devils, kinda bad news! Nothin good ever came out of that thing.” Dipper cringed at the voice. “What is it?”

“It’s terrible…” Mabel whispered, leaning further over the book. Her hair draped over the yellowing pages, eyes hidden behind thick bangs. “Cipher, he’s…”

“What? What about Cipher?” Dipper stepped closer. He could feel his heart thump a little faster with each step he took towards his sister.

“He’s a…” The girl moved back, turning swiftly to face her brother. Her face was red and cheeks puffed out, eyes leaking frustrated tears and— “ He’s a giant nerd just like you!” She exclaimed dramatically, throwing one hand towards the opened journal and another over her stomach as she doubled over laughing.

Dipper stared, dumbfounded as his sister flopped onto the tabled to keep from falling onto the floor. She was wheezing and stomped a foot every so often, trying to regain her breathing. He couldn’t believe this. “Mabel.” Dipper squinted hard at the girl. The only answer he got was more laughing and a few arm flails. “Mabel, you jerk.” Dipper sighed, but a small smile was tugging at his lips.

“Oh! Oh!” Mabel giggled, laughter beginning to die out into soft gasps. “Oh my gosh, yo- your face!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dipper rolled his eyes. “You got me.” Behind his ribs, his heart was still pounding with adrenaline. He willed his limbs to stop their jittery shakes and calm the hell down. There was nothing to worry about, Mabel was just being her usual dork self. He looked towards the open book finally, now being able to get a good view of it. “So what’s in this thing, anyways?”

Having calmed down a bit, Mabel slipped across the kitchen in her fluffy pink socks, clamped onto the fridge handle and yanked it open to retrieve a can of Pit Cola. She juggled it in her hands, closing the door again with her hip. As she snapped the can open she explained lightly, “Looks like a dictionary for supernatural stuff to me. Really wired, it’s all hand written and stuff.” She paused and took a big gulp of her drink.

Dipper nodded and examined the scribbles and notes about different creatures. His eyes widened the further he flipped from page to page, completely entranced with the object sitting before him. It was no wonder Cipher wanted this thing, the stories he could produce with the book would be endless!

“This is amazing.” Dipper breathed. Gnomes, Zombies, Ghosts, this book was like a paranormal junkies Holy Grail.

Mabel hummed and jumped up onto the counter. “It makes sense why Cipher would want this. I am sure he will be happy you found it.” She mused, swinging her legs back and forth to the rhythm of a song stuck in her head. “Now you guys don’t have to go searching anymore! That’ll probably be a big nuisance off his shoulders.”

Dipper hummed absentmindedly as he drew his finger along the edge of the book, a thin layer of dust bunched up and latched onto his finger. He pulled his hand back, pinching the ball of dirt between his thumb and index finger till the grains rolled off his skin. He wondered briefly how long the book had been in that tree for, and for what reason.

“No more long hours trekking through stores and the occasional dumpster. I wonder if this old thing will help him with his work, or if that’s even what he wanted it for.” Mabel muttered against the rim of her soda can.

Dipper’s fingers instantly stilled, entire body freezing like someone had pushed a pause button on the boy’s life. No more long hours trekking through stores and the occasional dumpster . The words bounced around in his head several times and every repeat left a horrible taste in his mouth. He gulped and dropped his hand, brushing it harshly against his faded jeans. “Yeah, don’t know.” He bit out.

A minute ago he’d been excited to see Cipher’s reaction to his discovery, because damn it he was proud! And maybe boasting a little in the ego department. Now dread was filling up his core. No more time with Cipher…

Mabel slurped at her drink loudly, oblivious to the way her brother scooped up the book with a hesitant hand. “So, when are you gonna tell him?” She looked up past her wavy bangs, confused to find Dipper retreating towards the stairs at a quick pace. “Dipper?”

.:.:.

Dipper paced along the length of his bedroom, feet scuffing against the hardwood floor. He could practically feel the wood splintering away with each step he took. It was only a matter of time before he’d run a rut in the floor. He could hardly bring himself to care; however, as he gnawed at his thumbnail in a simple attempt to help distract his brain.

This was stupid, Dipper was stupid. He could hardly believe he was even thinking about the train of thought that he was. Not telling Cipher about the book? What kind of nonsense was that? He had to; it was his moral duty to give up the journal to the radio host. Otherwise, everything they’d done together thus far would be for nothing. The whole reason Dipper was being kept around was for the sole purpose of finding the book.

And once you give the book up, you won’t have a reason to be around Cipher anymore , Dipper thought sullenly. He turned once he paced as far as he could towards the door, changing direction to continue shuffling back the route he came towards the triangle window above his bed. It was a vicious cycle, this back and forth, back and forth. All the while he kept his eyes glued on the ground. He paused when his irises caught sight of a neatly folded pile of clothes at the end of his bed. Black jacket, pants, yellow scarf… A flash of blonde hair and the feel of rough bark against his back blurred past his eyes.

There would probably be no more of that once he gave up the book. Dipper lightly drew a finger against his chapped lips. If he thought hard enough he could still feel the pressure Cipher’s smooth lips had left against his own.

“Oh man.” Dipper mumbled aloud. Here he was worrying over some scraps of paper sewn together, while he should be questioning the fluttering in his chest from earlier interactions.

Cipher had kissed him and he’d be lying if he didn’t say he thoroughly enjoyed it. Both Mabel and Pacifica will be delighted to rub it in his face once they find out.

Dipper dropped onto his bed with a frustrated groan. Everything was happening all so suddenly, so fast he couldn’t make left or right of the images flashing before his eyes. And it was all because of that darn radio host with his perfect golden hair and otherworldly eyes. Not to mention his lean body that fit so right against Dipper’s the night before, warm like a blanket and oh so comfortable… Dipper shook his head quickly, expelling any further thoughts of Cipher’s body.

Really, Cipher was too handsome for his own good. It was practically supernatural.

Dipper snorted at the thought and fell back against the bed. He stared up at the ceiling, a soft sigh fluttering past his lips. What to do, what to do. He slid his hands up to rest on his chest and began tapping his fingers against his worn shirt.

“So you tell him.” Dipper muttered to himself. “You tell him about the book. It’ll make him happy, probably further his show somehow and bring in more listeners, which will make his work life better.” His fingers paused in their tapping, then slowly started picking up a rhythm again as he let another thought enter his mind. “Or you don’t tell him, you continue looking for the book as if you haven’t already found it and grow closer. Eventually he’ll forget about the book and move on, which will make his personal life better.”

“You don’t tell him and possibly ruin his career .” A voice that sounded eerily similar to Mabel’s rumbled in the back on his head. Ah, the voice of reason. It was bound to come poking its ugly face in here eventually.

“I don’t necessarily know if it’s for his show.” Dipper grumbled, sinking a little further against his bed. Great now he was talking to himself.

“What else would he need it so badly for?”

“I don’t know, curiosity? For a collection, maybe? His life revolves around the supernatural; it’s not that farfetched to want a journal filled on the subject.”

“So you’d rather keep the object of his desire away from him, in the hopes you become that object for him instead. That’s quite selfish.”

“Well no one asked you.” Dipper huffed and rolled onto his side. He stared aimlessly out the triangular window nearby. The sun had already begun to drip close to the tree line, casting an array of colors throughout his room. It was beautiful, really, all oranges and reds, and the occasional pink glow scattering across the shack's rustic interior. His eyes followed the colorful trail of light right back to the pile of clothes at the end of his bed. He stared at the yellow scarf for a long while before he worked up the strength to reach for it.

The fabric was so soft, softer than anything he’d felt before. It was probably really expensive. Dipper tugged the material fully into his palms and laid back down. He held onto the scarf like a blanket, running the pads of his fingers over the kind stitching. “Maybe he won’t leave once he has the book.” Dipper thought aloud once again. He was starting to make a habit out of talking to himself apparently.

It wasn’t like he wanted to keep information from Cipher, especially news that’d make him happy. The paranoia engraved deep in his soul that the man would eventually forget about him if they had no reason to be around each other was just too overpowering. Even though there was a good chance Cipher liked hanging around Dipper for Dipper and not just for his searching skills. It was a big chance, honestly. You don’t just kiss someone you plan on ditching. Cipher seemed like a better person than that, anyways.

But doubt was always louder than hope.

With a quick glance at the clock—which already read 5:10PM—Dipper decided he’d allow himself to sleep on it. It was already late so there was no use calling up Cipher now; he wouldn’t be able to come by until tomorrow anyways.

Settling on that, Dipper rolled over and closed his eyes. Super wouldn’t be ready for another hour or so and a nap sounded like a pleasant idea in the meantime.

.:.:.

Three days.

It’d been three days since Dipper found the old journal hidden in a tree. The journal, which a certain radio host had yet to know, was within Dipper’s possession. It had been shamefully tucked away in the brunet’s desk under a pile of scrap papers. It wasn’t the greatest hiding spot by any means, but Dipper didn’t feel comfortable leaving the relic under his bed or somewhere in his closet. At least in his desk, the book didn’t face any chances of getting ruined.

He stuck the poor book in the bottom drawer with the intention of returning to it in a week – because a night to sleep on deciding to give the book to Cipher just wasn’t enough. He simply wanted a little more time with the radio host to assure he wouldn’t ditch him. That was reason enough, right? In one week time, the book would be given to the blonde man. Until then, Dipper proclaimed he’d live with the guilt and enjoy some downtime with the host.

And what a glorious three days it had been so far. Cipher had been spending a large majority of the days hanging around Dipper’s work again. They’d continued their little routine, but the silence was filled with a lot more bashful glances and sly smiles. The kiss hadn’t been officially mentioned, but the implication that both of them equally enjoyed it and wouldn’t mind doing it again was pretty clearly expressed.

When Dipper wasn’t shackled to his job at the bookstore – and Cipher by extension – they usually ended up spending time around town or the radio station. Very rarely were they away from each other’s side. Not that either was complaining. However, every so often when Dipper would glance Cipher’s way, he’d feel a ball of guilt nibbling away at the core of his stomach. He couldn’t help thinking about the things he was hiding from the man. It didn’t feel right, but at the same time he couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it.

“Do you like your job?”

Cipher blinked open his eyes and tilted his head a little towards the brunet lying somberly beside him. They’d been lying outside on a patch of drying grass a short ways from the radio station, simply enjoying the last few drops of autumn. The sun was high above them, basking them in a nice enough warmth that they only needed light jackets. Cipher was currently wearing the sweatshirt he had borrowed from Dipper a few days prior, having yet to give it up. Not that Dipper really cared, he felt slightly prideful seeing the radio host wearing something of his.

Cipher shifted his arms, which lay beneath his head. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.” He looked back towards the calm blue sky. “It’s fun, I like being able to talk about whatever the hell I want for a living. I am not the biggest fan of having to hide behind a curtain all the time, but it comes with the job.”

Dipper hummed, mulling over that information. He flicked his fingers against the zipper on his jacket. “Why do you have to be so secretive? I doubt anyone would like… attack you or something if they knew who you were.”

Cipher chuckled and turned on his side, arm bent and hand holding up his head. Dipper moved in a similar fashion so that they both faced each other. “There are a few reasons. Gideon thinks having me be unnamed makes me more mysterious, that not only the show holds secrets but even the host does.” He shrugged. “Plus, I like being able to live my life without interruptions. I would get annoyed pretty quickly if people were stopping me on the streets or spewing nonsense about me in teen magazines.”

Dipper twirled his fingers around a few blades of grass, tugging them lazily as he listened. “And here I thought you liked attention.”

“Oh don’t get me wrong, I do! I would love people bending at my every need, but I have standards. I wouldn’t be able to sit here with you like this if I was open about my identity, and that’s not something I am quite willing to give up.”

“I guess that… makes sense.” Dipper pondered. “So you’re a man full of secrets then?”

“I am a man with many angles and lots of knowledge of various topics, who happens to also like having a private life, so if that makes me secretive then I guess I am. However, since I like you I’ll tell you my secrets,” Cipher leaned forward, lips curving into a seductive smirk. “for a price~”

Dipper’s cheeks flushed a soft pink, “Oh really? And what’s your price, Cipher?” He mused, putting up his best confident front.

“Hmmm,” Cipher’s eyes flickered from Dipper’s eyes to his lips then quickly back again. “I don’t know, it’d probably have to be something really pricey since I’ve got a lot of secrets.”

Dipper snorted and rolled his eyes, “What like my soul?” He joked and playfully wiggled his eyebrows.

If one were to have blinked in that moment they probably would have missed the way Cipher’s eyes widened and sparked with wonder for a fraction of a second. He continued to smirk at his companion before rolling onto his back to stare up at the sky once again. “Something like that.” He hummed pleasantly. “I am sure your soul would be a beauty.”

Dipper scoffed and flopped over onto his stomach, arms crossing beneath his chin. He closed his eyes and snuggled a little deeper in his jacket. “Don’t all souls look the same? Like a smoking white ball.”

“I think you’ve been playing too many video games.” Cipher flicked at the edge of Dipper’s ear, earning a small yelp and glare from the boy. “Souls come in all colors and shapes, kid. The more corrupted the soul, the worse it looks. What the world considers ‘sinners’ usually look black, less smoky, more goopy. Like a ball of hot, bubbling tar. While good people are bright, wispy, and usually emit a color.”

“You seem to know a lot about this.” Dipper mumbled into the curve of his arm.

Cipher chuckled under his breath. “Call it a passion of mine.”

The two fell into a comfortable silence after that, lying happily beside each other with only the whispers of wind and occasional tweet of a bird filling the silence. They lay close enough that their arms brushed and with a little maneuvering their hands slipped into each other without question.

It was nice, being able to be together like this without any distractions. To simply enjoy each other’s company. Dipper really didn’t want to let this go, and yet as he peeked past his bangs at the still figure beside him, he knew that he would.

“Hey, Cipher.” Dipper said just barely above a whisper. He watched the blonde’s eyebrow twitch but his eyes remained closed.

“Hm?”

“I gotta tell you something, it’s kind of important, it’s about the b—”

Just as the words were about to flutter out of his mouth, a shrill ring of a phone smacked Dipper’s train of thought straight from his head. His lips latched shut and eyes looked down at Cipher’s glowing pocket, which the man was quickly moving to reach.

He flicked the device on and squinted at the screen as if it had personally offended him. Whether that was because it had interrupted Dipper or not, the boy wasn’t sure.

“Sorry, just an email.” Cipher’s expression lightened considerably as he turned the screen to face Dipper. “Look at this cat jumping in and out of boxes! Giffy sent it. Cats are so silly!”

True to his word, there was a cat hopping into different sized boxes with a small message from Giffany at the bottom of the screen. Dipper smiled softly at the ridiculous video. Of course Cipher would find cat videos funny, what doesn’t he find funny? Dipper thought for a moment and came to the conclusion that, nope, Cipher could get a kick out of anything.

As he watched the video play through, Dipper couldn’t help his eyes wandering to the corner of the screen where a list of information sat. At the top of the list was a name, one that had Dipper’s heart stalling. “Uh.” The boy muttered very intelligently.

Cipher tilted his head to the side and furrowed his brows at Dipper’s odd expression. “What? Don’t tell me you don’t find cat videos funny. Cause I don’t think this relationship can work if—”

“Bill?”

#it's done bby #two more chaps #shall update tomorrow #billdip #my writing #lips of a stranger #billdip fic #fanfiction #fic

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goodmythicalshipping · 5 years

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As Much of Me as I Am of You (1/3)

Hi, everyone! In light of GMM taking a little break until the premiere of Season 16, I decided to try my hand at writing my very first fanfiction! I have very little experience writing fics, but I am a writer by trade and hope you will enjoy this three-parter I’ve whipped up! I will post the first chapter today, and the other two tomorrow and Wednesday, respectively.

Summary: Hours before they’re supposed to embark on the first date of their live tour, Link finds himself coming to terms with his newfound adoration toward his lifelong best friend. The next morning, the two simultaneously discover the real meaning of having an “out of body” experience.

Chapter Two >>

After what was almost the 50th time he had reopened and closed his suitcases to double-check if he had everything he needed for the next few weeks, Link had officially finished packing for his next set of live shows across the country. He collapsed onto his bed in relief and lied back onto the mattress, raising his hands to remove his glasses and rub at his tired eyes. While he had completed the arduous task of packing in just under two hours, he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep for at least the next few. He leaned up, putting his glasses back on to check the time on his alarm clock: 10:11PM. It was already getting late, and he knew he had to be up early the next morning to head toward the first stop of the tour in Las Vegas.

Groaning, he flopped back down to his original position. One might say that Link was excited in anticipation of the many nights of performing in front of their thousands of dedicated fans to come, but something else had been eating at him for the last few months. He rolled over on his side, reflecting on recent events related to his internet morning show that he co-hosted with his lifelong best friend, Rhett McLaughlin. Rhett… the slight mention of his name sent Link into an internal frenzy. He pretended not to notice the difference in social atmosphere at first: after all, they had been at this YouTube thing for over a decade now, let alone their 35-year-long friendship. However, he had definitely noticed a shift in their interactions recently, whether he wanted to believe it or not.

At this point, Link had lost count of how many times Rhett had not-so-casually touched his arm, or lightly brushed their thighs together while sat on the couch, or caught him staring at him for a little too long in the many episodes leading up to their last season finale… it had left him in a very perplexed state that made him sick to his stomach. Why the sudden change? And why now, right before they were about to embark on a long, nationwide trip together? It’s not like they wouldn’t be living in tight corners: not only would they be trapped on countless bus and plane rides together, but they were also sharing a hotel room in many different cities.

He felt his insides become uneasy the more he worried about it. The worst part about this whole situation was that, admittedly, through all of these little exchanges, Link had grown to welcome the extra attention he received from his taller friend every day. Heck, he even enjoyed it. He had bottled up these emotions for so long now, questioning whether they were actually valid or he had somehow tricked himself into believing that there was more between them than there really was. If he was wrong about the whole thing, it could potentially ruin their entire working relationship. Despite this, he asked himself how many more days of hiding his true feelings he could bear, especially when they would practically be glued to each other’s side while away on tour.

He decided to shoot Rhett a quick text to make sure he was ready in time for tomorrow.

Link Neal [10:13PM]: Hey bo, you ready for the big day?

He waited only a short amount of time before Rhett answered.

Rhett McLaughlin [10:16PM]: Yep! Just finished getting together the last of my stuff. You?

Link Neal [10:16PM]: Same here. What time are you getting up tomorrow?

Rhett McLaughlin [10:17PM]: Don’t know, probably around 7.

Link Neal [10:17PM]: Sounds good. I’ll probably be up before you, I’ll pick you up at 8?

Rhett McLaughlin [10:17PM]: Perfect. See’ya tomorrow, bo.

Link Neal [10:18PM]: See ya then. 🙂

Once again, Link removed his glasses and placed them on the nightstand beside him, along with his phone. Setting his alarm and shutting off the lights, he attempted to drift off into a peaceful slumber, all the while mentally preparing for the long day of travel that awaited him…

The sound of a phone alarm jolted Link awake, as he was hit with the familiar wave of morning grogginess. He reached one of his long arms over to shut off his alarm clock, only to be greeted by a blank surface. Confused, he sat up slightly and blindly looked over at the table beside him. Realizing the noise of the blaring alarm was instead coming from his phone, he cursed himself as he struggled to quickly shut it off: he could’ve sworn he had set an alarm on his clock, not his phone. Come to think of it… where was his alarm clock? As he pressed the “dismiss” button on the phone, he was faced with a mysterious screen filled with apps he didn’t recognize, as well as a new background wallpaper. It took him only a few seconds before he came to a realization: this was Rhett’s phone.

How did he get a hold of Rhett’s phone? Weren’t they just texting each other last night? Without looking away from the screen, which read 7:00AM and not 6:30 like he had planned to wake up, he reached for his glasses on the table beside him... wait, where are his glasses? Panicking, he looked next to him to see his glasses nowhere to be found. He searched under the sheets and on the floor, having no such luck. That’s when it hit him: he… could see? He could see everything without his glasses? What the… how? What was going on?!

Looking around, he saw as clear as day that he was in Rhett’s bedroom. But… how? Before he had time to process any more information, Rhett’s phone rang. Link looked at the screen and saw his own contact name calling him. He picked up, figuring it was Rhett on the line:

“Hello?” he answered cautiously.

“Oh, thank god you’re awake! It’s me… well, kind of. Where are you right now?” Rhett prompted, sounding distressed.

“Is everything okay?” Link replied, now becoming more and more anxious. Rhett didn’t sound anything like himself over the receiver, despite his claims.

“Not really,” Rhett admitted dejectedly. “Are you at my place?”

“Yeah, how did y’know?”

“Open the front door.”

Without another word, Link shot up out of bed and headed towards the front door as asked, phone still held close to his ear. As he raced down the stairs, he suddenly became aware of how much his body ached. Why did his back hurt so bad? He finally reached Rhett’s front door, swinging it open and coming face to face with…

…

…himself?

In front of him stood what appeared to be his own figure, holding his phone up to his ear. Link yelled loudly, falling back onto the hard floor behind him and dropping Rhett’s phone in the process.

“Hey, careful!” the figure said, hanging up his own phone. “I pay good money for that phone!”

Link’s eyes widened in fear. Did he just… did he just say his phone? Breathlessly, Link managed to choke out a single word at the figure standing above him, in complete disbelief.

“…Rhett?”

The figure nodded slowly, reaching out his hand to help Link up.

“Unfortunately,” Rhett spoke quietly. “I’m guessin’ ya haven’t looked in a mirror lately.”

“What, how… wait… what d’ya mean?” Link trembled, now back on his feet.

Suddenly, Rhett turned Link’s phone on and opened up the camera app, turning it to show Link. It wasn’t Link’s face he was greeted with, but Rhett’s. Blonde hair, bushy beard, green eyes and all. Link’s face dropped and knees buckled, not believing the sight in front of him. He had to be dreaming, right? This must be some sort of sick mind trick. There’s no way any of this could be real. He let out a strangled gasp, finding himself at a total loss for words.

“You’re not dreaming, bo,” Rhett whispered suddenly, snapping Link out of his daydream, like he had just read his mind. “And neither am I, which means this is real life. I don’t know how or why, but it’s all real.”

“Oh, gosh,” Link murmured finally. “I… how did this happen, Rhett? I’m… I’m you and you’re me! What… I mean, what is this? Freaky Friday? How does this even happen in the real world?!”

“Okay, one: calm down. I’ve never even seen Freaky Friday and I’m surprised you have,” Rhett retorted. “Two: I already told you, I don’t know! One minute I’m noddin’ off in my own bed, the next I’m in yours and inhabiting your body. I mean, d’ya have any idea how hard it was to try and look just like you this morning? Y’all talk about my hair routine all the time, but you’re really one to talk!”

“How can you make jokes at a time like this?!” Link shouted.

“Sorry,” Rhett replied. “But either way, we don’t have much time to try and figure this out. We have a bus to get to in an hour and a half, remember?”

“Are you serious? We can’t possibly leave like this!” Link exclaimed.

“Well,” Rhett chuckled, eyeing Link down. “At least not like that. Y’might wanna put some clothes on first.”

Link shot his head down at himself, realizing that he was completely nude. Mortified, he covered his private parts with his hands, his face turning beet red. He had only caught short glimpses of Rhett’s genitals in the past, but he swore that if he wasn’t in utter shock at the moment, he would’ve sprouted an erection right then and there in front of Rhett.

“Dude, why am I naked?!”

“Man, I sleep naked all the time! You should know this by now!” Rhett said. “Gosh, it’s like ya don’t even know me sometimes.”

“Would ya quit foolin’ around and help me figure out a plan?” Link retaliated. “We only have an hour before we have to leave, and we have zero idea of what we’re gonna do!”

“Well, I think the first step is taking a shower,” Rhett said, crossing his arms. “Your nervous sweating is giving ya’an odor. We’ll talk more in the car.”

Link snarled, turning on his heels to head up to the upstairs shower and gather Rhett’s things for the car ride to the bus.

“P.S.: ‘M driving your car!” Rhett taunted after him.

(To be continued)

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poisxnyouth · 6 years

Text

neighbors. chapter two. (d.d)

A/N: whew! Sorry this took so long, I've had such a long week and wrote myself into a corner for a little bit. I hoooooope this is okay. Let me know if anything seems out of character, if you like something, if you don’t, etc etc! All criticism is always appreciated (: Let me knooooow! - hailey

Warnings: drinking & cussing

Word Count: 3.2k on the dot!

Chapter 1

“Wait, like DAVID David? Like, neighbor David?” Francine’s jaw dropped on your phone screen, the rest of the girls mimicking her.

“Yes, Francine. David Dobrik. Oh my god, I don’t even know how it happened, it all went so quick!”

“What happened?” Tessa scrunched her eyebrows together. She was on her way home from work, walking with headphones in as she sipped on her iced coffee, eyes flickering between the sidewalk and her phone.

“Natalie, his assistant, invited me over for drinks and obviously, like, I couldn’t say no, right?” They nodded in sync, “So I went over there, and it was fine for like 45 minutes, David wasn’t around, Natalie and I were just talking, having a few drinks, and I was telling her about my job and you guys and vice versa. I was having a good time! David comes out and things immediately get weird. It’s like he flipped a fucking switch in me! Like, I couldn’t think of anything remotely cool to say.”

“You’re still not spilling how this ended with you coming to New York with him?” Sienna inquires.

“Well, Natalie was listening to me talking about you and she kind of brought it up?”

“Didn’t you meet her, like, today?” Tessa chimes in, confused as she still walks her way through Manhattan.

“I know! That’s what I was thinking! She was hearing me talk about you guys and how much I miss New York. She just asked out of the blue. David had said something about being her boss and she just told him to come with. Did I mention she’s trying to hook us up too? AND HE PAID FOR ALL OF THREE OF US! Ugh!” You’re going back and forth between your closet exasperatedly, folding random items of clothing and tossing it in your suitcase (way too much for a weekend trip, but you know it’s because you want to look good for him). You stop in between the story to make sure outfits match, wanting their approval before you make yourself look foolish in front of the man. He probably won’t even notice, but it’s the little things that count.

“Wait, he paid?” They ask in unison. You nod your head quickly.

“Yeah! I tried to tell him I can afford to pay for my own ticket and he just said, ‘I didn’t ask if you could afford it, I’m paying,’” you roll your eyes, mocking him.

“Y/N, you know what this means….” Francine says, feigning nervousness, “you need to go on a date with him when you get here. Like, it’s an absolute need. You’ll die if you don’t.”

“I don’t know if I even want to date anyone! I just got here in LA, I need to settle down with my job first-“

“Y/N. No. You remember whatshisface from high school? You cheated yourself out of him, too-“

“Sienna, I just met the guy today. I think we’re getting ahead of ourselves!”

“You may have met him today, but he bought you a ticket to come home for the weekend! Like, he’s either a really nice stranger or he’s into you, Y/N,” Sienna offers. She seems to be at home in her pajamas. Respectable.

“Okay, and what if he is into me? Then what?”

They all groan, “You get a boyfriend, Y/N!”

“I don’t need one!”

“Uh, yes, you do. You’re so lonely in LA! Like, all you do is go to work and post pictures of what you’re eating or what you’re watching on Netflix. You work so hard to have a good life and you don’t even get to appreciate it! Just go on one date with him while you’re here. Russian Tea Room? Butter? Go shopping afterwards? Literally anything. It’d be nice! One date and see what happens, Y/N! Plus, it’s kind of chilly here right now…you can borrow his jacket!” Francine is really pushing this whole boyfriend idea. You don’t say anything, sighing halfheartedly before taking your phone in your bathroom to speak to them while you bag up toiletries.

“Fine. I’ll ask, I guess. What about Natalie?” You’re going through your shampoos and conditioners, having difficulty determining what makes your hair the softest. You suddenly realize how much of a try hard you are.

“We’ve got you, bitch. I wanna pick her brain about David,” Francine admits. Of course, she would.

“I can’t believe you guys are making me do this.”

“It’s for your own good,” says Tessa. You can only roll your eyes in response.

“I’ve gotta go. I’ll call when I land.”

“See you soon, Y/N! One of us will be there to pick you up. When do you land?”

“Like, 10:30? He wanted to get there in the morning.” They ooo’ed as you told them you loved them and hung up.

The flight was painstakingly awkward. You were stuck in between David and Natalie (Natalie’s doing), and while you wanted to speak to him, he was editing the entire time. Natalie was passed out, quietly snoring. She remained that way for the rest of the flight. He had opted for a late plane, taking off at 5:00 AM, insisting it was easier for him because he would be up all night anyway. You didn’t mind, you would have been up all night either way, but he does give you a few questioning looks as you order more than a couple rum and cokes.

He takes a brief break, turning and saying to you, “Aren’t you tired?”

“Not really. I stay up often. Hey, while you’re not busy, can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“So, uh, I’m gonna be honest, we’re going to meet my friends, right? Like, they’re one of the reasons we’re here?”

“I guess? Natalie wanted to come, I don’t really know anything about them.” His implication of not wanting to come kind of offends you. If he didn’t want to make the trip, he didn’t have to, and he certainly didn’t have to pay.

“I mean – okay, I’ll just let them introduce themselves, but anyways, you moved in a few months ago and I had also just moved in, I’d been in my house for like, two weeks, right? I noticed you, not gonna lie, because you were really fucking loud and an annoying neighbor, but it’s fine, that’s not the point!”

“Are you drunk?”

Your eyes widen, “Oh my gosh, what? No! I had a few drinks, but I’m pretty much a heavyweight. Yale was a wack party school. Taught me in more ways than one. Anyway, so I noticed you, and I told my friends about you.”

“Is this bad? Like, you told them I’m annoying so now they’re gonna act all weird when I meet them?”

“Oh my god, David, just let me finish. I told them about you, and I was like, ‘Oh, guys, he’s really cute and he must be fucking rich because he’s my neighbor but he’s so young, so I don’t know? Trust fund baby, maybe? I don’t know, but he’s hot.’ Anyway, long story short, they really wanted me to ask you out on a date while we’re here.”

“Okay?”

“What do you mean, ‘Okay?’ Like, do you want to or not?”

“Sure, I guess,” he shrugs.

“I really do not appreciate the nonchalance!” You jokingly shove, but you feel your hand stay on his shoulder for a moment too long when you meet his eyes. He doesn’t laugh as you quickly remove your hand, almost as though you had gotten burnt.

“I’ll pay,” he says, not acknowledging what had happened as he turns back to his computer.

“No, you’re not! You paid for me to come here. Plus, I don’t even know you and I’m the one who asked. You don’t get to pay!”

“I’m paying, it’s fine,” he insists, now absentmindedly editing with one earbud in.

“No, you’re not. You wanna go tonight, or…?” He only nods in response, murmuring a small sure. Even with his adamance about paying, he’s kind of acting like an asshole. You wish you could put your finger on it. You know the body language of someone who’s getting distracted while they’re trying to work, and that is definitely not what he’s doing. The only thing you’re reading from him is unwillingness. You’re not stupid; you know when to end a conversation. You turn away from him and put your earbuds in, quickly typing out a text to you and your friends’ group chat, writing, He said yes. You end up falling asleep, elbow on the arm rest, supporting your head. You wake at the end of the flight, David giving you a soft nudge with the lift of his shoulder. You fucking fell asleep on him.

“Oh, fuck, holy shit. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ He waves you off, not worrying about it as he starts packing up his belongings.

“You were slowly leaning over for like 30 minutes, so I just put your elbow down. It’s fine. Can you wake Nat?” He did what now? You don’t allow yourself to mentally trip over it as you turn to softly shake Natalie’s shoulder. She grumbles softly, stretching her arms out in front of her before sliding her glasses on.

“Y/N asked me out on a date,” David whispers to Natalie, smile playing at his lips while he fidgets with the straps on his backpack. You’re preoccupied at baggage claim, foot tapping impatiently as you scan the bags coming out of the conveyor belt. Theirs had come before yours.

“And you said….?”

“I mean, I said yes, duh. I just don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

“Jesus Christ, David,” her eyes roll, “Don’t be stupid. Why can’t you do anything good for yourself? You know you want to, and you never would have gotten the balls to ask her, let alone any girl. Liza asked you on your first date, too. Just look at it as a good thing. You’re a pussy, anyways.”

“I am not a pussy!” he exclaims before bringing his voice lower, “And don’t compare her to Liza.”

“You are too, and why not? Like, obviously we know Liza better, but if you look at what’s on paper aren’t they almost the same?”

“We don’t know Y/N.”

“And yet here we are. Don’t be an asshole because you’re still waiting on Liza. You forget she was basically your first relationship. You’re only hurting yourself, David.”

“She seems desperate,” he offers in retaliation. He’s getting annoyed and he fucking hates it.

“She literally doesn’t. She thinks you’re cute. That’s not desperate. You know what’s desperate? Waiting on an ex when it’s been a whole year since you’ve broken up-“

“You know our break up wasn’t like that!”

“Yes, I do, Dave,” Natalie has turned to him now, not afraid to look him in the eye, “But I’m serious. You need to fucking move on.”

“I have moved on.”

“If you’ve moved on, why are we having this conversation?” He can only huff in response, aware of how correct Natalie is. She turns away and takes his exasperation as a victory, eyeing you as you spot your luggage and turn around, making your way back to them.

“Francine, you need to fucking cool it,” you warn, no real anger in your voice as you both walk ahead of Natalie and David. “He’s been sending mixed signals ever since I had drinks with Natalie at his house. Like, who the fuck says, ‘I guess,’ to being asked out on a date?”

“Oh, so he’s an asshole?” She whispers, leading you to your Uber. You reassure her he’s not, that he’s not an asshole asshole, but he’s also not trying his best to be friendly. Natalie had asked where Sienna and Tessa were before you had explained they were working, but would be free later that night and the next day. You and David didn’t speak for the rest of the morning, even through the car ride, hotel check in, luggage drop off at their hotel and Francine’s apartment, and breakfast. You don’t know how to take it and Francine doesn’t either. She pulls you aside in the bathroom at the restaurant, whispering to you about how cute he is and how you need to try harder. You reiterate to her that you are trying, very hard actually, but he isn’t being responsive. You even consider cancelling the date altogether, but Francine’s frantic “no, no, no, no” swayed you.

You and Francine are in the bathroom, Francine attempting to hype you up in the mirror while Natalie makes the effort to do the same to David at the table. She’s fixing his hoodie and pushing his hair to where it should be while calling him stupid for not flirting with you. Her reprimands go in one ear and out the other, denying that there’s any chemistry at all. There isn’t, not really; it’s mostly just a spectacle, and you both know it.

Breakfast and lunch go (mostly) smoothly, a few moments of awkward shared words between you two. You eventually David off to yourself behind the two girls while walking to give him Francine’s address and discuss the date details. You maintain eye contact with him during the exchange, deciding on a time he’d pick you up and where you’d go. He insists on Per Se, pointing it out as you pass it, laughing through your protests about it being too expensive and still not wanting him to pay.

“David, I’ve lived in New York my entire life and I think I’ve only been a handful of times. Like, you don’t get how expensive it is-“

“Y/N! It’s fine! I swear. I give people money to let me shoot them with paintball guns. I can take you to dinner.”

“Okay, but it’s not like we’re going to Chili’s! It’s one of the most expensive restaurants in all of Manhattan.”

“It’s fine. I’m taking you. End of!” You sulk as you tell Francine you should split up with David and Natalie, explaining that due to his expensive taste, you now must go shopping and recommend he goes as well.

“Now, explain to me, David, how in the fuck are you going to act like you don’t want to go on a date with her when you’re going to take her to a dinner that’s probably going to cost you over a grand? Plus, what she’s going to wear, what you’re going to wear, and whatever you guys do afterwards? Sounds like you’re in denial.” Natalie is filing through racks at Saks, doing all the work while David stands there.

“Natalie, there’s like, nothing between us,” he promises, “The girl deserves a good first date. If I can afford it, I’ll do it. And I can, so what’s the big deal?”

“The big deal is: you’re jumping through all of these hoops-“

“PLEASE remember that I literally did not know her name 24 hours ago!” She mutters a small whatever, tired of him. She can only hope you two will hit it off, so she won’t have to deal with him for the rest of the weekend. Natalie throws the hangers in her arms into his passive aggressively, telling him to go try the articles on and show her after each one. She might just kill him.

You and Francine’s conversation in the Saks dressing room mirrored David and Natalie’s almost exactly.

The date goes well, to put it bluntly. Almost too well. He did indeed pay a fixed price of three hundred and fifty dollars for the two of you, even insisting on buying an entire bottle of the most expensive Merlot they had, much to your dismay. You explained your job in further detail to him and him, almost tipsy after half a glass of wine, essentially told you his life story about Slovakia, Chicago, Natalie, high school, Vine, and YouTube. You let him and listened very intently as you snuck sips from his glass, knowing he’d be unable to finish it. It hit you how stupid he may be when the waitress ordered him to not touch his plate quite yet, as it was too hot, and he looked you in the eyes and touched the side of his plate with his index finger. He had too much money for his own good.

The check eventually came, his eyes widening as he told you how expensive of a date you were. The joke immediately went over your head, reaching for your wallet to pull out your card. He let you, knowing he was going to let it stay in your hand. You reached across the table to force it into his palm; instead, he dropped it back on the table, taking your hand in his as he flagged down the waitress.

“Ugh, you’re so annoying! Just let me pay.”

“You can get the milkshakes later,” he promises, quickly removing his hand from yours, able to tell you don’t know what quite to say. You kind of thought this would have been the entire date, and now he wants to extend it? A mere 12 hours ago he was giving you the cold shoulder on the plane and now he’s paying for a thousand-dollar dinner and essentially telling you he doesn’t want the date to end? He’s very talented at sending mixed signals. He’s sobered up now, sliding your card back to you as he places his own in his wallet.

After you leave, you somehow find the room in your stomachs to split a milkshake on 9th, two straws and all. You make sure to call him a liar as he pays for it (you knew he would). You wander through the city together, hand in hand, showing him where you went to school, your childhood apartment building, where you ate breakfast with your friends before school, your favorite bookstore, almost too much. You almost felt like you were being excessive, but the thumb rubbing the back of your hand told you otherwise. If it had been any other guy, you think you might be confident of their reciprocated feelings, but his mixed signals from earlier threw you off. You don’t know whether to take him legitimately or not, so you try not to get your hopes up…until you find yourself in the hallway of Francine’s apartment building, pressed up against her door, a soft thud emerging, as his lips land on yours. His hands on your waist, pulling you closer to him as he deepened the slow kisses immediately changed your mind. You pulled away from him, placing a final kiss on his lips and pushing slightly at his chest before anything more occurred (especially with Francine, Natalie, Sienna, and Tessa laughing on the other side of the door).

“Wait, Y/N,” he leaned in again, kissing you once more before leaning out and apologizing softly, murmuring a ‘Sorry, wanted it,’ and knocking on Francine’s door for you. You hear the feet shuffling to the door and give him a kiss on the cheek, as quick and wet as you can, before Natalie opens the door to two attempts at hiding smiles.

#david dobrik fic #david dobrik x y/n #vlog squad fic #vlog squad #vlog squad fanfic #natalie mariduena #david dobrik x reader #david dobrik x you #david dobrik imagine #vlog squad imagine #david dobrik #david dobrik fanfiction #david dobrik fanfic #whew

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cheolttage · 6 years

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Only You.

Title: Only you.

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Soulmate!AU, College!AU

Summary: “It seems like a lifetime ago that i began searching for you. You, who my love seems never ending for; that went far beyond what i thought i could love. When i am with you, i want for nothing.”

Soulmates are linked via feelings and hear can what your soulmate say in his heart (but you cannot hear him when you guys arrange any meet up, you found out from your mom that it has to happen naturally). You feel whatever your soulmate feels and your soulmate feels whatever you feel.

Word Count: 2.03K

p/s: sorry, it’s my first time writing and I'm really not as creative or as good of a writer as other blogs. I wrote this purely out of fun. Nevertheless, I hope anyone reading this will like it. ^____^

Time check: 3:16am in the morning. You flipped on your bed with the comfort of air conditioning against the merciless summer heat even though it was night. You were on your bed since 11pm trying to sleep; even the bedsheet that felt cool to the skin initially warmed up from your body warmth. What is really keeping you up? You felt so vexed and irritated yet slightly emotional. But you have no idea why.

“I really want to give up”

You heard a voice from your head. Your soulmate has spoken and you finally understood your feeling now.

“Looks like i’m not the only one awake now and someone’s keeping me awake..” you muttered as you got off your bed, knowing well that you probably will not be sleeping any time soon. Stretching your limbs and with a yawn, you wobbled to the kitchen for a glass of milk.

“I wonder what’s keeping him up…” you whispered. You couldn’t help but be curious about what is keeping your soulmate up, so vexed and annoyed at 3am in the morning. Opening up the fridge, you took out a carton of milk and poured yourself a glass of milk before returning to your room. Slowly, you closed your room’s door and sat down before your desk.

“Where is the damn switcH” you said as you struggled to switch on the desk lamp. You decided that since you couldn’t sleep, it will be better to do something than to sit around and stare into space. Deciding on completing your bullet journal for 2019, you opened up your notebook and chose rose quartz and serenity coloured brush marker for the theme. As you started scribbling and designed your notebook, you couldn’t help but feel a wave of emotions because of your soulmate.

You flipped to a brand new page and wrote:

“It seems like a lifetime ago that i began searching for you.

You, who my love seems never ending for; that went far beyond what i thought i could love.

When i am with you, i want for nothing.”

You didn’t know where you got the idea to write that or what made you move your arms to write that but from the bottom of your heart, you wanted your soulmate to feel better and know that he is not alone no matter what he is going through.

Within 10 seconds, you got a reply.

“Thank you, i love you.”

You were a little taken back from his reply because you weren’t sure if what you wrote down will be guaranteed conveyed to him. Afterall, you wrote it down and not think about it out loud.

“You heard that?”

“Yes dummy. I heard it because you were reading it out loud in your mind. Also, we have been talking like this for almost half a year but i still have no idea what your name is.”

“Y/N.”

“Ah. Wonwoo here.”

That was cute. You were happy that your heart was conveyed to him and that he even took a step forward to start calling you names. Not to mention you finally know his name! Your heart was truly bubbling with happiness and you felt fuzzy because, It sounds silly, but little things like these are what pulled people closer together. You were 100% sure that he could feel how happy you are.

“What’s up? You seem really happy.”

“Nothing! Just watching a romance movie.” You lied smoothly, you weren’t sure if he will fall for it but you decided to go with it because you didn’t want to let your feelings known so early.. Yet.

“Sure.”

You heard the sarcasm in his words but decided to brush it off because you were simply too happy to care. Funny, because you were feeling happy but mixed with slight frustration. But you can also sense that the feeling of frustration seems to be fading and you felt even happier to know that your soulmate seems to be less vexed now at least.

“Go to sleep early.”

“You too! Stay positive, things will eventually work out.” You beamed at the thought of your soulmate.

“Alright, i will talk to you again tomorrow.”

“Later you mean? It’s already a brand new day.”

“Right. Later. See you!”

You smiled as you closed your notebook shut before you switched off the desk lamp and dive into the comfort of your bed. Within a few minutes, you drifted off to sleep.

You woke up at exactly 7am ready for school, but feeling lethargic as you were you sat on your bed with your eyes closed for another few minutes; mentally cursing yourself for sleeping this late.

“Tired?”

You shot up at your soulmate’s words and rushed to the toilet, preparing for school.

“No!”

“Sure.” He teased.

You grabbed your breakfast left on the dining table and your bag before you rushed out to school. Time check: 8:20am you are 10 minutes away from being late and you are just outside the campus library. You were literally scrambling to the lecture theatre and you really couldn’t be bothered about how much of a mess you look like at all now. As you ran past the library’s door, the door flunk open and a tall boy walked out. Before you could look up, you felt your head hit his chest.

“AH. I’m sorry!!! I gotta go, i’m late for class!” You said as you looked up.

Damn. He looks great.

But you were really in a rush to continue staring, before the boy can even speak you already ran off like a rocket.

“Wow, she ran off already.. And who did my soulmate see that she found handsome?” Wonwoo muttered before he zoned back not knowing that whoever bumped into him was his soulmate. Before he continued walking to the canteen, he found a notebook lying on the floor.

“Huh? Whose is this…?” He picked it up, but uncertain if he should open the notebook to check whose notebook it was.

“I don’t think it’s nice to open someone’s notebook without permission.. But how else can i return it?” Wonwoo muttered as he fiddled with the notebook.

“Whatever, i should return it.”

Deciding on returning the notebook, he opened up the notebook and flipped a few pages before he stopped on one page.

It read:

It seems like a lifetime ago that i began searching for you.

You, who my love seems never ending for; that went far beyond what i thought i could love.

When i am with you, i want for nothing.

Wonwoo’s eyes widen as he pushed his spectacles up. He found you.

The clock struck 12 noon as lecture has ended, you started packing up your lecture materials before you head to the canteen for lunch and then head home. However, you realised your notebook is missing and started panicking.

“Oh my goodness, where is my notebook?” You whispered as you searched your bag. The more you searched, the more you panic. Suddenly, you heard a voice in your head.

“Looks like someone lost her notebook?”

What? How did he know? Oh, right he can feel whatever you feel maybe that’s why he knows that you lost your notebook.

“Gosh, all my schedules are inside.. What am i gonna do with it now?”

No, wait. Hold up, how did he specifically know that it’s your NOTEBOOK?

“How did you know?!”

“Because i have it.”

Your eyes widened as you gasped.

“Where did i drop it?!”

“This morning.”

You traced back your memory before remembering that you bumped into a guy outside the library this morning.

“WHAT. That was you?!” you gasped trying to remember how he looked like. Though he was extremely good looking, you couldn’t remember the face of a guy you met for perhaps, 20 seconds.

“Yes. Since we can’t arrange a meet up, my favourite place is the campus library.”

You seemed to get the hint though you weren’t sure what time to go. But you decided to try your luck every morning anyway. Before you got your notebook back, you can only rely on your memory for the schedules.

The following day, you can to school extra early and by 7.30am you were already in the campus library and even chose a seat that is eye-catching from every corner deliberately so that Wonwoo will be able to see you.

You waited and waited. It was already 8.15am, you really have to head to class but Wonwoo wasn’t there. You knew he wasn’t there even though you weren’t exactly sure how he looked like but you just knew. You stood up and walked to the door, looking down, to exit feeling defeated. Yet again, before you knew it, the door swung open and you bumped into a tall guy.

“Where are you going, Y/N? Don’t you want your notebook back?”

You were shocked to hear your name as you looked up. A tall guy wearing spectacles and holding a pink notebook. It was the guy from yesterday, your soulmate! Your heart bloomed in happiness almost immediately.

“W-Wonwoo?”

“Hi Y/N, thank you for finding me good-looking.”

“W-wha-what?” you stuttered while blushing furiously.

“I heard your heart yesterday when you bumped into me yesterday at roughly the same timing.”

Your face was completely red by now and you were so embarrassed.

“C-can i have my notebook back? I have to go for class! Um, i will see you around i guess.” you muttered before grabbing your notebook and sped off.

Wonwoo turned to the way you sped off as his lips curled into a smile.

Cute.

You settled down once you reached the lecture theatre and you opened your notebook. You were extremely surprised to find a post-it on the page you written your feelings on.

“To. Y/N

Hi Y/N~ I’m Wonwoo! Here is my number.

XXX-XXXXXX-XX

Text me soon!”

Your lips curled into a smile as you closed your notebook, ready for lesson. The entire lecture, your mind kept drifting elsewhere and you couldn’t pay attention at all.

“Hey, listen during lecture.”

You were surprised to hear Wonwoo’s voice, nevertheless you tried your best to pay attention until lecture is over.

“I can’t focus.”

“Just listen! Remember to text me too.”

After hearing his words, you started to get impatient, waiting for lecture to end. Once lecture ended, you took your phone out immediately and keyed in his number before you texted Wonwoo.

“I’m Y/N. I just ended lecture.”

“That’s great, i’m already at the canteen. Come look for me.”

You bit your lip as you strutted towards the canteen, feeling like your heart is about to rupture. As you approach the canteen, you weren’t sure where he was especially when there were so many people. But as you looked around, a boy wearing a grey sweater with spectacles caught your eye.

There he was. You walked towards him and took a seat in front of him as you looked down feeling extremely shy.

“Hi.. I’m Y/N”

“You sound cuter in person. Looks like you are a year 1 student?”

His words caught your attention as you looked up feeling confused,

“Are you not year 1?”

You weren’t sure about his age at all, you just assumed that he was the same age as you. The only thing you knew was that he was in the same college as you. You laughed as at how silly you were, automatically assuming he was the same age as you after knowing he was in the same college as you.

“Y/N, i’m about to graduate.”

You widen your eyes, if you could verbally say “???” you totally would.

“I automatically assumed you were my age… then i thought you might be a year or two older than me. I just didn’t think you’d be a graduating student..”

Wonwoo smiled as he reached for your hands.

“Graduating or not, i will be seeing you for the rest of my life.”

You subconsciously break into a smile as you held his hand back.

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honmakurara · 6 years

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Gr8est full Osaka report

Yeah I know I’m (several months) late in writing this report, but:

1) DVD & Blu-Ray are up so I'd honestly love to read the opinion of more and more eighters about this con;

2) the truth is that the Gr8est concerts I attended in Osaka last August left me a bit shaken, for I think it was impossible not to deal with a eighter's feeling, after all.Anyway, since 2018 has gone, 2019 has started and maybe (maybe) I'm coping slightly better with my "Subaru feels", I feel like I can now write down a more relaxed report. Let's try, at least!

I feel very grateful I am in this fandom. Thanks to awesome Eighters I met back in Rotterdam for Misono Universe preview, I was able to attend Gr8est concert twice in Osaka last August. Since 2018 has been a terrible year for Eito, I deeply wished I could go and cheer for them live, but due to various constraints + the fact that I literally live on the other end of the world, I could not take it for granted, not at all. Still, I hoped. And that's why I deeply appreciate the effort and the exquisite kidness of people who allowed me to be there; more than anything else, even more than the concert itself, I have to say this gentleness touched me very, very deeply. Thanks to this, I met new Eighters and I'm, like... in love with them already. Both Eito & Eighters. I really hope I can go back to Japan and meet them again, one day. As for what the concert itself is concerned, to be honest, rather than a full report, at first I thought I was okay with writing just a quick report about how Eito members are handling this Gr8est Tour (that you will find HERE as "6nin eito, musically speaking").I made also another quick post HERE, right after the con.But as day, weeks and months passed by, I thought it was better to write down my personal memories because... they fade. So, sorry if you're going to read quite a messy, random and biased "report"... that's it! A creepy baby voice belonging to an animated Gr8est Baby (lol) introduces the concert... (I do actually wonder to whom that voice belongs... too creepy XD) BAND SESSION: Just like in Jam, the ouverture of the concert has been given to MUSIC (and I like it, because it ROCKS). Just like the mention written on the Tshirt tour "we'll make you forget it with our rock." Exactly. 1. Otou Seyo: unpopular opinion... I didn't like this song. Yeah, it was band-like even in the PV but, I don't know... I couldn't find anything special about it. Anything worth remembering/singing. Well, this tour definitely made me COMPLETELY change my mind (and I like it very much when the brats that Eito are DO that... it's so much like them, making people fall for their every work sooner or later. We are doomed XD)This song was (is) perfect: sung and played like never before, I'd say, strong and powerful and amazing. Everyone sang very focused-like, and above all I can still remember the strength of Ohkura's drums, its sound dominated (very beautifully, very impressively) every. other. sound. I swear. It was incredible to hear, to the point I can still feel its echo even now. I'm sure the DVD will also give justice to the beauty that is this song.If I have to say, I'd say that Eito started this con with a real blast! In between the two songs, Ryo made his initial speech. Very long, straightforward and even cute. He did refer to Subaru and to Eito's will of going on. Gosh, I wanted to hug him. He looked incredibly cool, tender and sweet at the same time. Yeah I know he's a good actor (thus pretty convincing), so it's not like we know how he truly felt like during that moment, but... I want to believe in what he said, being happy and eager to enjoy Eito+Eighters time together. Also, maybe it was just my impression, but it seemed to me like they took "longer pauses" between one song and another, during the band session (while in JAM it was one right after another). Maybe this was also made "for Yasu's sake" in order to let him recover better (or maybe I'm wrong... I just noticed these pauses were quite longer than last year). 2. Koko ni shikanai keshiki: SO GREAT. I'm very very happy this song was in the setlist because I've always, always loved it. It's also very nice for "opening" a concert after Ryo's speech. Oh, and btw during this song Ryo was amazing. 3. Noroshi: another unpopular opinion, I don't like this song. It never grew on me despite all the times they performed it during concerts since winter Eightertainment, on television and so on. Yeah, the PV is pretty cool, and also the lyrics. But it's not King of Otoko to me, I can't help it. Just like Oto Seyo, though, I changed idea after hearing it at this concert. I don't know exactly what's different from before, maybe it's the way Eito seemed to pour all their will power into this song... it turned out great, anyway. I also thought I would have missed Subaru's vocals here but, luckily, I didn't (which is something. Sasuga Eito). 4. Itta Janai ka: Aww, cuties! don't ask me whether they changed lyrics during their solo parts in this song, because I have no idea, I couldn't catch their words XD (I do remember Eighters laughed and cheered for them, anyway XD) What I can remember is also that the stage started moving forward, "Jukebox-like", and this is so freaking cool. Technically speaking I loved that choice in Jukebox because, I mean, can you imagine having to shift a whole band of people with a whole set of electronic instruments while singing and playing o_O? Exactly. I loved it! 5. Nagurigaki Beat: a song that grew on me slowly but steadily. I had the impression the dome was particularly "on fire" during this song, or maybe it was just me XD 6. Kokoro Sora Moyou: I've liked this song for so long that I was almost "surprised" it could be part of the setlist (when, unfortunately, Tsuyoku Tsuyoku Tsuyoku did not make it...) . It was soooooo lovely to hear. 7. Heavenly Psycho: okay, now, the feels and the confession. As far as I never liked the original song (with Uchi's presence... sorry, he's not my cup of tea) and I never really understood why Eito are so fond of this, I came to fall deeply in love with its "updated version" they sang during Genki con/DVD. I cried a river because it was too beautiful and because Ohkura was not there (being ill in the hospital). Hearing it live, OMG, I think I froze. To the point I didn't manage to enjoy it as I wished (yeah I know it's stupid but this was what happened), on my first day. The following day I felt better and I started crying when they played it, so I think I'm helpless XD 8. BJ: I'm deeply in love with this song, but I was so nervous during Heavenly Psycho that when I first heard the beginning of this song, I didn't even recognize it. Then, half of my mind went "OMG they're playing this one right after HP, they want me dead" and the other half was "mind going blank." Also, Ohkura's voice faltered during his lines (that I AM IN LOVE WITH), so... ç_ç I know it's not Ohkura's fault, but my heart clenched in pain with him during this song. Same as HP, the following day I cried a river. 9. Zukkoke Otokomichi: this song belongs to Yoko fully XD It's all I can remember about it, with Yoko taking the lead and being basically everywhere during the song (it's probably not like this, but my biased mind is... biased XD). Oww I loved it sooo much, the "sped-up" version is so freakin' cool!!! 10. Musekinin Hero: by this time, if I remember well, the moving stage had gone back to its original place, while my poor feelings had not, especially when Ryo decided to go around here and there and everywhere while playing the guitar Anyway I don't think I have mentioned so far how badass Yasu was while playing, during EACH of the band songs XD It was a pleasure to see he was able to move freely and more. Also there was a time during one of the first songs (KNSKeshiki?) when he joined Maru's spot and Ryo did the same and omg they played in circle facing each other and it was just too cool! 11. Life: oh this is so tough. What this song means to both Eito and Eighters, both before Subaru's departure and after that. I really hoped they would include this one in the setlist because it's, like, some kind of identity card of who they are, what they could achieve, what they can aim for, the way they've always struggled to see the light, the way they've never given up. Never ever. This song is precious and carries a deep meaning, but also a sort of "burden", I think, after it was the last one they sang with Subaru (with Ryo finally crying out his pain). Re-starting as Eito had to pass through this (and go on through Koko Ni), so even if they didn't play it flawless (Maru is a bit unsure sometimes, vocally speaking, when playing Subaru's lines, and Ohkura was really struggling to sing properly -I don't think I'll ever forget his bent head while singing-), it was too precious and I cried. I wanted to sing it along with them, but I had to stop midway because my eyes were so teary I wasn't able to see nor the boys nor the big screens anymore. So, well... I'm very happy that this song keeps staying by their side always. 12. Omoidama: other tears, okay. Maybe I remember very badly but for this song, Eito stood up and sang it all lined up on the main stage. This song carries extraordinary beautiful lyrics so maybe it's no wonder that I gave up again and went teary (again!), especially seeing Ohkura conveying his everything into this song. I like Omoidama, it always gave me positive thinking; at least until Eito performed it one last time with Subaru on television, and I don't know even know why, I felt so moved I cried. During this live concert, once again. MC I understand very, very little Japanese, and Eito during MC change topic every half a minute, so I have to confess I didn't get most of their talks. I think they started talking about nicknames? or the way people calls them at work? Something like that? Memorable thing was Maru anyway (bless him) that made a few incredibly resembling monomane about the different firework types... A-WE-SO-ME XD Yasu was sent behind the stage to rest, and I also witnessed cute Ryo making sure Ohkura got his own water bottle before giving back the empty bottles to staff guys :p

Second part of the concert:

13. Ima / 14. Hesomagari / 15. ER2 / 16. Gamushara Koushinkyoku: during this parts Eito went on the little moving stages (dunno how they're called) and despite the fact that I don't like Ima (I like the lyrics and the PV, but not the frilly dance), I was blessed with a Tatsu rapping his everything during ER2 right above me (well he was not exactly near but I was so dumbstruck he is REAL, so please forgive me)... so when I saw the DVD preview with him screencapped exactly during that moment, omg, the feels!!

Solos:

17. Watashi Kagami: I cried. 18. TORN: I was speechless. 19. PanPanda: I died from cuteness. 20. Love&King: I grinned like an idiot XD

Okay, on a more serious note:

17. Watashi Kagami: my fave about Yasu's solos, I was so hyped and dokidoki, and Yasu looked so tiny (well, I was far away) all by himself on stage but at the same time his presence and his soul was HUGE and I was blown away during his performance. I relaxed down completely, and hearing him was like having the sweetest lullaby ever. I cried. I really loved, loved loved it utterly. I'm so grateful I could hear this live. 18. TORN: ahhhh. I'm not coherent. Quite differently from Watashi Kagami, I kept being too hyped/dokidoki/nervous all the time during TORN so I cannot say I enjoyed this as I wished but still, I'm so happy I was there. I went to the cons with no spoilers about the setlist BUT the solos, and back then when I heard about TORN I couldn't believe it and was even scared and panicking bc, what if they only played it in Sapporo? what if they changed the part of the setlist like they did for winter Eightertainment? I know it's incredibly stupid and selfish of me but I went into all kind of idiot thinking bc I wanted to see them SO MUCH çoç Then, well, I really was there ♥♥♥ One day I was in arena () and I witnessed Ryo GRINNING like an idiot (in love) when he came on stage for TORN, before his own part started. He's in love, yeah I know U_U No I'm not coherent about this, sorry! SORRY! Oh but did you see Ryo SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT also during his dance part together with Tatsu çOç??? 19. PanPanda: two cutieeeeees! During this cuteness I manage to collect all the pieces of my heart that had melted during Watashi Kagami and TORN... 20. Love&King: when Takatsuking project first began, long ago, I wasn't that eager, but he slowly grew on me with time and this perf was epic! TORN presence during Love&King was so funny, I might have fangirled more on this rather than TORN itself, maybe because TORN does not give you the time to THINK, actually King on his throne was THE BEST XD

Game corner: Ohkura Tik + another thing whose purpose I didn't exactly understand, but it was funny to see and I saw TORN again dealing with this thing together, so my feels were a mess XD Ohkura Tik corner was terribly stupid and cute and the best thing ever. Seriously.

The Yokohina part here is definitely my fave, and whole dome squealed as much as I did, so I was double happy XD

21. Hibiki / 22. Namida no Kotae: two quite "Ohkura-centered" songs to begin with, I'm not very fond of those but several parts had me moved. As said above, Ohkura's voice was off but he tried his best, I remember him bending forward so much, nearly crouching in order to sing better (?) and he nonetheless smiled all the time. It was kinda painful to see ç__ç

23. King of Otoko / 24. Tsumi to Natsu / 25. Clover / 26. Maemuki Scream: during this part here I have barely memories because they went around on carts and the fangirl that is in me tried desperately to look everywhere at the same time. Sorry. Eito were as energetic as always and I really enjoyed watching them going around, not to mention all Eighters doing the dance moves just like them omg so perfect!!! so skilled!!! I'm a fan of Eighters also XD

27. Osaka Romanesque: I think I have been very very lucky hearing this in Osaka. I remember when they mentioned lyrics of places I had been into just a few hours before, and I burst into tears from feels and I felt I wanted to hug Eito and Eighters and the whole dome at the same time. It gave me shivers and it felt very special. Encore 28. Sweet Parade / 29. Panorama / 30. Aoppana I don't like Sweet Parade/Panorama very much, but they're okay songs for an encore, so I didn't stop from fangirling here x3

31. Koko Ni: ah, this. Even Eighters barely remembered the lyrics bc it was the newest song, and Eito in Osaka didn't play it yet as we saw that in Tokyo or Fukuoka, I mean, hugging each other or being the usual idiots. But still, the overwhelming feeling this song spread on the whole dome when they sang it is... I cannot describe it enough, I guess. They sang it one beside another, like Hibiki, but at the same time they played it from the bottom of their hearts, with all the love and feels they carried. When I walked back to my hotel, my legs were jelly beans, my feels were a mess and I couldn't even realize I had just come back from Kyocera Dome. All I could hear in my mind was Koko ni. Ugh ♥

Random things:

1. I attended the concert of 25th August 2018 in Osaka... yeah, the anniversary of Eito Kansai debut Two years ago, on that very same day, I attended my very first Eito event (Recital in Nagoya), which is still so precious to me *_*

2. It was my very first time attending a concert at Kyocera Dome, my first time in an arena seat (!!!! on Saturday only, close to a spot where Ryochan performed torn), my first time being freaking nervous before/during/after the concert. The following day I relaxed down quite a lot. My memories about the concert come straight from Sunday only, while as for Saturday, I have mostly a black-out.

3. despite the arena seat, our area got zero gintape, but I am very happy anyway because a friend of mine offered me a green gin tape... my treasure çOçEighters are really the best I am sorry that I was so much "blacked-out" during the cons that even of my very very very favourite moment, the final one when Eito join hands and so do Eighters, I only have blurred memories. But the lingering, beautiful feeling is always there, though.

It wouldn't be fair of me to even try making a comparison between GR8EST and JAM, that I both attended, because if last year everything seemed perfect, now we now that it wasn't exactly like so (after Yasu's surgery and Subaru's idea of leaving already in the way) and this latest tour proved how Eito tried their hardest to start again from scratch and from -literally- body and soul deep injuries. They didn't come out unscathed but they really, really opened their own heart up to eighters in order to share a good time together. I've said this before, Ryo was impressive and amazing all the time. A cutie, a cool guitarist, a still a bit awkward "leader" but always very humble in his attitude, even during the 'least important' of moments of the show. It really impressed me how he made sure that every Eito member took their drink during MC, how he brought back the empty bottles... maybe a very ordinary gesture, but so caring, and he wasn't even supposed to do that himself. While Ohkura's attitude broke my heart because he was obviously unwell with his voice off and his desperate attempts to sing 'well' anyway. He drummed with all his might and soul, and he waved energetically (with that SOFT arms of his) even to the most far away upper seats. He later said he felt like he received tons of love in Osaka and by reading that I melted, even though the day of the concert I didn't melt, I just squealed like an idiot despite being very far, so I feel really the biggest idiot ever XD Anyway. Teeny tiny Yasu isn't teeny tiny anymore. He might have been recovering, but he was very sassy when playing the guitar and never showed any mercy to his fragile body, I'd say O-o He was impressive and so is his voice, growing very fast and very beautifully. Maru is a softie. What would we do without Maru's gags XD? We know he's hurt the most by Subaru's absence but, again, he never let those feelings overshadow the show, the music, the other members. Yoko and Hina, papa and mama, mama and papa. Yoko, to me, was like watching Maru: not letting himself go, giving his very best both on trumpet and on cheering Eighters when he had to. I wanted to hug him so tight!!! And Hina is a steady rock and among all the other qualities of this man, I am really, really thankful he is there to watch over the whole group (and that's how KING+TORN was born 8D - sorry just kidding ^^''). Maybe the Eito we saw during GR8EST weren't the most sparkling Eito ever, but they sure are the guys that risked it all by choosing to go on even this time, despite many hardships, and they won the deal, because Eighters are there with them. On a closing note, I remember Tacchon doing the gay monomane a few times during the con and one last time before saying 'bye, and this time he was with Yasu who tried to imitate him, obviously failing due to his injured waist. This made the whole dome laugh and I found the whole thing honestly so sweet, rather than gross (it'd normally be gross, I guess), because this is just so much like Eito, "find and share the laughter even when normally only some sad/pity thoughts would be there." That's one of the reason why I fell for them, and probably the biggest and deepest one that keeps me tied to them. So despite my tears and my messy feels of those days, I can say it aloud: I'm very proud to be an Eighter PS: god bless Ohkura always for being such a fanboy of his own group and singing the lines of the songs even when he's not supposed to. You damn cutie, I love you!

#gr8est #report #my poor feels #osaka #SO PROUD OF MY BABIES #SO PROUD OF MY ICHIBAN #kanjani8 #eito #THE IDIOTS I LOVE #torn is the right word to describe my OTP

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thiscelestialglow · 7 years

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I’m a strong, independent woman who don’t need no horse

Admittedly, this post is late. I was gonna write a post about hiking Pacaya then waited too long so I wasn’t going to but then I thought of this title and I can’t not put it out into the world. This title is too good to be wasted, so here we go. (Sorry if it’s awful and I don’t remember much; it’s been over a week and I’ve done some things since then.)

I climbed an actual, active volcano and it was the freaking coolest thing ever.

I felt like I was going to die multiple times, but I kept walking and I did it. Michaela did this hike during January so I was briefed on how hard of a hike it was. When she originally told me, I kind of didn’t even want to try to do it myself. I was content with walking to the entrance and immediately handing over 100Q (a little over $10) to the closest horse handler. As plans fell into place and the trip got closer, I decided I wasn’t going to buy a horse. I was going to put my big girl pants on and hike up this massive volcano with my own two legs, gosh dangit. I was so committed to doing it myself I didn’t bring any money so even if I decided I wanted a horse on the way up I still couldn’t get one.

At the time I absolutely hated myself for being so stubborn because oh my God I wanted-no, NEEDED-a horse so bad. Sure it was hard on the lungs going up a constant incline while also increasing in altitude, but I could live with that. What I couldn’t live with was that I wasn’t even halfway up the freaking volcano and my legs were TIRED. It took every ounce of my being to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I thought that working out (#getfitgetfluent) for the three weeks leading up to it would make it less miserable and it simply did not. I still felt like death was upon me. A few from the group naturally fell into the back while others surged ahead like freaking machines. The few of us in the back were constantly encouraging each other and trying to distract ourselves from the pain. I’m glad for that sisterhood. We were also flanked by at least three natives with a horse in tow, constantly bombarded with, “Taxi! Only 100!” Then closer to the end, “Special for you, now only 75!!” Like sir, I personally would love to take a horse up this God forsaken steep mountain, but can’t you see I’m trying to prove something to myself here? Our guides also kept bringing up taxis and how they were only 100Q. The man at the front (the few times he actually saw us) REALLY wanted us to buy a horse. Like, brought-it-up-every-time-he-saw-us kind of want. Sorry to make your job more difficult, sir. The woman who stayed at the back with us kept saying, “Es mas dificil,” while gesturing upwards with her arm. Yes, ma’am, I know; this entire volcano is difficult. I was glad it was her at the back, though, because she was incredibly patient with our 30 seconds of walking with 3 minute breaks in between.

Right at the end I was really struggling. Then the guide said that literally right there was the top and never in my life have I ran/scrambled somewhere so fast. I reached the top where the rest of our group was and held my arms up in victory because oh my God I DID IT! Then my friends laughed at my sweat marks as if I didn’t just walk uphill for almost two hours. These are the sweat marks of a warrior, people!! There is no shame!!

That there is the crater of Volcan Pacaya, AKA the actual top that contains all the cool stuff like lava.

Casa de Cindy chicas *insert heart-eye emoji here*

If you thought the fun ended here, you thought wrong! Now that we climbed the monster, we have to climb down to the rock beds for more fun. And it was fun except I literally thought I might die trying to walk down those rocks. I took a video of this perilous journey but my phone won’t upload it so instead here’s a picture of me being dumb while sliding down (thanks Natalie!):

Super cute, I know.

When we reached the beds, we were able to “roast” some marshmallows. I say “roast” with quotation marks because I enjoy my smores literally on fire and the heat from the rocks wasn’t that hot.

The rock is all solidified lava from previous eruptions.

I just super love Cleo in this picture and need to share it.

Once we ate our smores, we ran back up towards our first stop at the top to see an AMAZING sunset.

While we were up there waiting to descend Pacaya, we got to see it literally erupt. Lava was running down the side of the crater and spewing out of the top (see video on either Facebook or Instagram, because again, my phone is not uploading videos here properly). It was an amazing sight to see, especially from so close. Finally darkness completely fell and that’s when our guides decided we should probably head back to the bus. So we walked down in pitch black darkness. Praise the Lord for phones with flashlights.

I will never forget this experience of pushing myself to do what I never would have thought was possible for my body to do. There is nothing quite like proving yourself wrong in such a rewarding way, and now I am convinced that I can do anything (besides making a phone call).

#semester abroad #guatemala #volcan pacaya #blog

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goodvibesatpeace · 7 years

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The Mandela Effect

I have got a question coming in... Can I talk about the Mandela Effect? What is the Mandela Effect? Well a lot of people are experiencing remembering certain events that they could have sworn took place and then they find out they actually didn’t.

So Fiona Broome, a Paranormal Consultant, came up with this theory in 2010 and I get loads of questions asking me

“Can you do a post about what you think of the Mandela effect and what do I think about it?”... and I am going to share with you what I think about it :)

Let me give you some examples of the Mandela effect... a popular one is the berenstain bears.. berenstein bears, berensteen bears, berenstein.. no its not apparently it is Baranstain... how did that get changed so quickly.. Nobody knows :)

Hello Clarice... I always thought it was Hello Clarice, Silence of the Lambs... I come to find out is is Good Evening Clarice, who changed that.

But the biggest one and this one even got me because I always thought it was Sex in the City... I come to find out in was Sex and the City, the title was changed to Sex and the City.

Now here is where it gets really trippy because there is proof from people in awards shows saying

“Actually, Sex in the City”

Now the Mandela Effect is... because a lot of people actually thought Nelson Mandela passed away back in the late 90′s and, in actuality, there was a book published which actually said

“Nelson Mandela passed away in 1991″... and this book was published

and a lot of people are like

“Gosh, I thought Nelson Mandela passed away in 2013”

So a lot of people are reporting these past experiences, memories are coming back to them.

And another Mandela Effect example is

“Life is like a box of chocolates”

Do you remember Forrest Gump... hoe many times have you said that exact phrase? Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get next.... no, you did it totally wrong, It’s

“Life was like a box of chocolates”

Now, it is very strange when you think

“Mirror Mirror on the Wall”... no,no,no, where the hell did you get that phrase from?

It’s more like

“Magic Mirror on the Wall”

And another... it’s not even

“Luke, I am your father”

It’s is

“No, I am your father”

So, the Mandela Effect is huge and it’s kind of trippy and, for me, I find this fascinating, amazing.

Now I am going to share with you some insight to why this may actually be happening because we can talk about Parallel Universes and other Dimensions.

Now what has helped me along my journey to become my greatest version is to realize that.... anything we see is not actually what is. The Ancient Hindu’s talked of the Maya, the whole world being an illusion... kind of like a computer simulation... The Matrix anyone :)

When I was thinking about the Mandela Effect, I am like

“It could actually be possible”

because we are living in a kind of computer simulation... you have got to check out books like ‘The Holographic Universe’, goodness gracious I hope that name hasn’t changed already :)

People are like

“Will, what has happened to you”

I am a whole different person, I am clone.... Shhhhh, don’t tell anyone about it :)

Now here is where it gets really exciting because I sometimes realize, yes, we could be living in a computer simulation.... you see, computers are built on Binary, 0′s and 1′s and that is what the whole film The Matrix was about.... that you are like in a computer simulation.... computer generated dreamworld..... so what is real? and reality can always be changed.

So you have got the Gnostic's that are talking about a group of beings called The Archon’s... (Mass Effect Andromeda anyone :)) living in the 4th Dimension who are actually controlling the 3rd Dimension... so it made me think that they are like levels to this shit and there are even beings we can’t even perceive, who are out of our range of frequency, that could actually manipulate this reality.

So, it got me thinking that....let’s just say you are typing a beautiful love letter as you do on the computer... why don’t people write anymore? don,t worry about it :) Let’s just say you typed that that letter like 10 years ago... you could actually go back to the letter right now and change it, if it is still there... and edit it because you missed out something, 3 words... I Love You.. you forgot about that right.... and change it and then resend it to that person so they don’t slap you across the face again :) Say actually don’t worry about it.. I said I Love you, you are seeing things differently.

So if this is like a computer simulation you could actually go back in time and change certain variables ..... and its amazing because Philip K Dick, really people say that he wrote The Matrix or The Matrix was inspired by him. He talked about how reality is like an illusion because... and you only notice this because it is like the glitch in The Matrix.... you notice that certain variables get changed, you see you have got to look out for the variables... and some of his books were like crazy brilliant.... Ok, he is like super huge on science fiction which is actually science now.

So, how I use this because I am always about my greatest version and practicality..... it makes me question everything even more to say

“Actually, all of these people who are having these memories of certain events... which they found out maybe did or did not take place and that maybe we slipped into another reality”

And the whole nature of reality is up for the question... I am even real? Are you even real? ..... People always say

“Will”

and I am like

“What”

“They are like 7 billion people on the planet”

and... I even have seen

“How do you even know there are 7 billion people on the planet?”

What if I told you there were 12 billion people on the planet or 3 billion people... You will be like

“No Will, there are 7 billion people on the planet”

because somebody had told you!

I don’t know if they are 7 billion people on the planet, you don’t know if there are 7 billion people on the planet and the people that did a count don’t even know there are 7 billion people on the planet.

Its not like anyone has counted each one...1, 2 ,3, 4, 5.... you probably can’t even count 50 thousand people let alone 7 billion.

So reality is handed down to us... so that is why you have got to question everything and the Mandela Effect, for me, is just exciting because it goes to show how we don’t even know what really happened, we don’t even know what really happened last summer... let alone like last 10 years ago.

And also that you have got to look out for the glitches... because I was always saying Sex in the City but I later found out that it is Sex and the City, and there is proof that it was Sex in the City.... so it is almost like a little game, these glitches in The Matrix, you just have to laugh at them and realize that

“Hey, I want to know have you noticed the Mandela Effect”

because we have got a lot of people diving deep.. we have got millions of people diving deep all around the world... like have you experienced it for yourself?

Sometimes I experience the Mandela Effect, I am like

“Wait a minute, I could of sworn it was like that... Woah it just changed a minute ago”

and then all that happens is you just say

“Feels so good to be alive Baby!”

You are Worthy…You are Enough… You are Beautiful… You are Powerful….just the way you are!

Have a wonderful day!

Much Love to all… There are many deep waters out there!!.. go in peace my friends :)

#greatest version #mandela effect #snapchat questions #paranormal #parallel universe #other dimensions #Multi-dimensions #maya #gnostic's #archons #4th dimension #question everything

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chanzicoup · 8 years

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“Little Things” (SVT Dino x Reader Imagine)

A/N: Not requested but I feel guilty for never posting recently so I'm going to try and be more productive on this blog.

Count: 2.1k

Genre: Fluff

Request Regulations

~Blake

Your boyfriend Dino had just graduated from high school and he was going to have a get together with the other members before spending time with you at your place. You were just a grade below him, meaning your graduation isn't for another year. He had texted you a few minutes ago to tell you that he should be heading to your house at around six, which was only two hours from now.

"I have to let mom know." Your mother approved of Dino, mainly because she was close friends with his mother and knew he was a good person but your father wouldn't admit it, it was just because he saw you as his little girl and thought no one was good enough for you. It took a lot for him to get used to Dino being around and his only condition was that you and Dino couldn't be in your bedroom with the door shut. He trusted you and even trusted Dino thanks to your mother convincing him. You went downstairs to find your mother cooking dinner and your father flipping through the channels on the couch.

"Hi Mom! Hi Daddy!" You gave your father a kiss on the cheek and your mother a side hug. Your father cleared his throat and muted the TV.

"What do you want?" He joked. You rolled your eyes and chuckled before answering.

"Nothing! I just came down here to let you guys know Dino is coming over in a couple hours."

"Ah, that's right. Good thing I made an extra serving. It's his graduation today isn't it?" Your mom asked from the stove.

"Yes, but I don't think you need to make more food. He is having a get together with his band members before coming over so he's probably going to be full." You explained. Your father scoffed from the couch.

"A man needs to eat to be strong! How can he take care of you if he's weak?" There goes your father, he was only poking fun with very little seriousness.

"Dad, I can take care of myself with out a man doing it for me!" HECK YEA TO FEMINISM.

"And that's exactly ho we raised you, isn't that right honey?"

"Ugh I hate it when you guys make a point," laughed your father. You understood that he was lucky to have a good boy be with his daughter, teenagers are usually too irresponsible and inexperienced to hold a happy relationship. That was clearly not Dino, which is why your father hasn't forbidden you two.

"Oh stop, we are just going to watch a movie anyway. I have to grab a quick shower before he comes over, see you guys at dinner!" You went back upstairs and did what you said you were going to do and changed out of your uniform into a pair of leggings and a gray t-shirt. When you came back downstairs to wait for Dino you found dinner in containers and a pink sticky note on the counter.

'Your father had to go back to work and won't be back until midnight. I went to your aunt's house to give Dino and you privacy. Don't do anything you'd regret and if you do something BE SAFE! We trust you! Love, Mom."

"Oh my gosh, Mom!" You exclaimed, you never were interested in... such activities.... and your parents knew that. Maybe they just liked to mess with you? Let's just say it worked because your cheeks were red and goosebumps covered your skin.

Your phone beeped from the counter and you saw it was a message from Dino.

‘I'll be there in 10 ;)’

You used that time to set up the couch and blankets and pillows from the closet. The you took three movies out from your selection, all of which you thought Dino would like to watch. You had set them on your coffee table along with a couple glasses of fruit punch and the dinner your mom had made. Just moments later your door bell rang.

"Perfect timing." You said as you stood to open the door. When you did you felt arms wrap around you and a head burrow into your neck.

"Babe!" You squealed, Dino knew your neck was very sensitive and his hair tickled you when he did this. He loved your laugh, especially when he's the cause of it.

"I missed you!" He pecked your cheek before panicking a bit and stepping off.

"Did your parents see that?" He knew your parents liked him but he still was too shy to do PDA in front of others.

"They went out. My father had work to do and my mother is at my aunts house." He nodded in understanding and looked at the couch.

"Woah, did you do this?"

"Yeah, my mother made us dinner before leaving and I thought it would be nice if we watched a movie before you had to head back to the dorm." You grabbed his hand and sat him down on the couch.

"You didn't have to do all of this, babe." He was shocked at the effort you put into making everything perfect, in fact, it made him feel bad that he wasn't here to do it with you.

"It wasn't much trouble. Now pick a movie so we can start." You handed him the three CD's and he scrolled through them like they were his hand of cards.

"This one." He held up 'A Werewolf Boy' and set the other two back down.

"Ok, I'll put it in." You gotten up to begin the movie when Dino was about to stop you. He wanted to do something for you since you did all of this for him but he had no idea how to work your TV and didn't want to look stupid or possibly mess up your TV completely so he sat back and settled into the couch.

"There." You pressed play and the title screen popped up. Dino opened up his arms for you to rest in and when you made yourself comfortable in his embrace he pulled a blanket over you both to trap the heat your bodies radiated.

You smiled into the hug and placed your hand on his leg, something that was normal of you two. He kissed your forehead and set his chin on the tip of your head. You two stayed like this for almost half of the movie.

Dino couldn't focus. It wasn't because he was nervous or uncomfortable or anything like that. No, it was something more that bothered him. He felt like an awful boyfriend, he rarely made time for you and when you both were together you had always done more than he had. For at least the last couple of months he had been too busy with school and Seventeen to really do something for you.

He even had to postpone your birthday celebrations because they fell during finals week. You didn't mind it at all, after all he was a celebrity. You knew what you were walking into when your started dating him. You knew he meant no harm and would do anything to be with you instead of answering math equations or translating from Korean to English for at least two weeks out of the final semester of high school. He just felt like he wasn't showing you how much you meant to him, he needed to do something.

As you laid in his chest you accidentally fell asleep, giving him a chance to do something he wanted to do for a while. He removed the blanket from your bodies and began rearranging you so your arms wrapped around his neck and he could carry you bridal style, but unfortunately the movement woke you up and you asked him what he was doing.

"I'm bringing you to bed, go back to sleep, babe." He pulled your head into his nape and lucky for him you closed your eyes again and your soft breathing told him you fell asleep again. Then he proceeded to bring you to your bed and closed your door behind him.

Dino took his phone out of his pocket and texted Jun to ask if he could do him a favor.

'Sure, what is it?' Jun responded.

'In my room there is a shoe box under my bed and an empty sketch book on my desk. Can you bring them to Y/N's house for me?'

'Okay, what's in the box?'

'Secret! Please don't look at it, hyung...'

Dino knew Jun would look into it but it wouldn't hurt to ask. He went back into the living room and successfully shut off the TV before cleaning up. He only had a few minutes before Jun would be here since the dorm was only a couple blocks away.

All he needed now was tape, which he thinks he saw in the kitchen on the counter. He gathered different supplies like markers and stickers. When Jun arrived he punched Dino in the arm.

"You sly dog!" Obviously Jun looked into the box and completely ignored Dino's wish. He had pictures from the dates you guys had been on, and not only that there were little mementoes from each one. Movie tickets, dried flowers from your walks in the park, and even some receipts from dinners you guys went on. It was like a time capsule of some sort.

"Whatever, now that you know will you help me?" Dino asked.

"I got your back, what are you planning on doing?" Dino explained his surprise for you and Jun nearly "fanboyed".

"That's so cute! Now I know why you didn't ask Jeonghan to do this, he would've gotten all ooey gooey."

"Exactly, now we have to hurry. I don't know how much longer Y/N will still be asleep."

The two boys began cutting and pasting in the decorations and using their vary limited calligraphy skills to write in messages and draw doodles. Eventually everything came together nicely and the scrapbook was complete just as the clock struck 10:00. There was even a bunch of extra pages to fill up with even more date you and Dino would have.

"Well, that's all the pictures. I have to get back to the dorms now, don't be back too late!" Jun warned as he closed the door behind him. Dino nodded and brought the book upstairs and stood at your door. He got a little nervous to show you what he made, he's never done anything like this before.

"I have to do this. For her." He gained up his courage and quietly opened your bedroom door to find you sleeping still. He went in and sat next to you, pushing the strand of hair out of your eyes. You fidgeted a bit and opened your eyes a little.

"Hey, baby, time to wake up." He cooed, you sat up and looked at him in a daze and leaned you head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry." You murmured.

"For what, babe?" He questioned.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep, we were hanging out." You pouted. He chuckled and rubbed your back.

"No worries, I am actually kind of glad you fell asleep. It gave me time to make this for you." He put the book in your lap and you traced your fingers over the creased in the leather.

"What's this?" You asked.

"It's a scrapbook I made for you. Look inside." He gestured. You opened the book to read 'Our Memories' in back marker with a pink heart drawn with LC + Y/N in the center along with random drawings in the blanks on the title page.

You flipped through the pages and smiled when you realized they were of everything you two had done together.

The pictures from photo booths you two had used, the flowers from parks, the movie tickets from the films you two just had to see, love notes you left in each others book bags to find when you opened a notebook or your pencil cases. It was all there. Every little thing Dino remembered that was in relation to you. It brought happy tears to your eyes.

"Thank you so much." You set the book to the side and hugged Dino tightly, kissing his cheek.

"I wanted to give you something to let you know I love you." He whispered. Neither of you two had said those words before, it seemed like an adult thing.

You smiled and felt the butterflies in your stomach go crazy.

"I love you too."

#kpop #svt #seventeen #lee chan #dino #seventeen imagine #kpop imagine #seventeen scenario #seventeen dino

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geekalogian · 8 years

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The Perfect Sting, Chapter 10

Multi-Chapter Mystery Diners AU :D

On AO3 Here :D

Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9

A/N: Oh my gosh you guys. Two updates inside of a week. I know, I’m surprised too. I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS CHAPTER. I hope you love it as much as I do <3 SO MUCH STORY LEFT!!!!

Emma inhaled deeply, letting the salt air and the sound of crashing waves and chattering pedestrians wash over her once again. That welcoming sensation almost made her forget the reason she had arrived that afternoon. At least Walsh had picked a place that put her at ease.

He was supposed to arrive any minute. She leaned against a worn wooden post, part of the makeshift barrier that separated the parking lot from the beachfront, and scanned the cars for any sign of his beat-up green Buick. Her vision drifted just past the parking lot, to the winding path that led to the Pier where she had been just a couple short weeks ago with Killian, but Emma shook her head and redirected her attention back to the cars in front of her.

This was about getting closure with Walsh, one way or the other. That was it. No need to bring work into this.

But was Killian really just a part of work anymore?

A buzz from Emma’s phone kept her from wandering down that trail of thought. She glanced down to see a text from Walsh.

So Sorry. Customer would not shut up about our Chaise Lounge options, got out of the store a bit late. Will be there ASAP, meet me by the beachfront entrance. Love you xx

“Great,” she muttered. Late again. He’d probably only be five more minutes or so—his furniture store wasn’t that far from the beach—but Emma was still tempted to jog down to the Lemon Ice stand and get something to munch before he got there, just to drive the point home. He had been the one who wanted to sort things out like this, couldn’t he at least be—

“Emma? Emma Swan? Why, isn’t this the loveliest of surprises!”

The familiar voice made Emma’s blood run cold.

No. Not here. Not now. Not today.

Emma slipped into an easy grin and turned around. “Zelena?” Sure enough, the baker was standing right beside her, adorned in a green sundress and floppy hat.

Zelena let out a little squeal and flung her arms around Emma in an enthusiastic hug. “Oh, how lovely to see you again! You know, we’ve been hard at work designing your cake and I really think you’re going to love it!” Emma gasped and wriggled free of the woman’s embrace, and did her best to quell the rising panic in her gut.

“Oh, wow, that’s. . . that’s amazing! I can’t wait until we get to come and see it. What, uh. . . what are you doing here?”

“Well, you know what they say about all work and no play, Emma,” Zelena winked. “My dear old friend wanted to meet up for a picnic lunch and introduce me to someone special.” She leaned in conspiratorially. “About time, if you ask me! What about you? Where’s Killian?”

“OH! Well, you know. . . .” Emma laughed. “I was starting to wonder the same thing! Would you mind? I should probably give him a call.” She scanned the parking lot one last time. Good. No sign of the green buick yet. She frantically dialed Killian up with one hand, shoving her left hand into her purse to grasp around for the ring.

“Swan?” Killian’s voice was groggy.

“Hey, sweetheart!” Emma tried her best to sound bright and upbeat, even though she had moved several paces away from Zelena. “You’ll never guess who I ran into at the beach!”

“Bloody hell,” There were rustling sounds as Killian seemed to wake up very abruptly. “Zelena? Today? At the—hang on. I can be there in two minutes.”

“Glad to hear it! Love youuuuu,” Emma hung up just as she finally found the ring box in her purse. Glancing back over her shoulder, she slid the ring on her finger while Zelena was still looking out across the cars. Emma allowed herself a moment of pure, unadulterated panic. What if Walsh got here while Zelena was waiting for her friend? What if he tried to kiss Emma? What if he got there and Killian was kissing Emma? Why did she think that reconciling with Walsh in the middle of this stupid fake engagement situation would be anything even close to simple? Her mind raced as she tried to come up with a way to keep Walsh away from the sting, and the sting away from him—but nothing was coming to her. What was she going to tell Isaac?

Zelena was chattering incessantly about the friend she was supposed to meet with—an old pal from high school, apparently, though Emma picked up little else in her haze of anxiety—when Emma saw Walsh’s green Buick pull into the lot. Her chest tightened, and for a moment Emma thought she was going to avoid this entire situation by passing out right there on the asphalt, inches away from the sand.

That was when two arms swept up underneath her, and she felt a scruffy chin resting against her forehead.

“There you are, love,” Killian announced his presence a touch louder than necessary, and Zelena swirled to look at them—instantly, a beaming smile spread across her face. “Sorry, I thought you were meeting me at the Pier—I was busy getting everything ready.”

“Oh, no trouble,” Emma turned around in his arms to face him, mouthing a “thank you” right before kissing him on the cheek. She pulled away and looked over at Zelena again, and tried to ignore the messy head of brown hair that was rising out of the Buick, headed quickly towards them. “I was just talking to Zelena about our cake—she says it’s coming along.”

“That’s wonderful news,” Killian broke into a grin. “I trust our unorthodox requests haven’t been too much trouble?” “Oh, don’t worry your little heads about that,” Zelena waved her hand. “You two lovebirds just focus on the rest of the planning for your special day! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m actually looking for someone . . .”

Emma squeezed Killian’s shoulder, just about ready to dismiss him to wherever he had materialized from so that she could figure out a way to explain this to Walsh, when she heard Zelena’s voice again.

“Oh look, there he is! Walsh, darling, you simply must meet my favorite customers!”

Emma froze. She glanced back up at Killian, whose brow was furrowed. She then heard Walsh’s voice, halted and unsteady, reply, “Zelena! Hey. . . I thought I told you to meet us farther down, by the restaurant?”

From that point, it took Emma roughly half a second to figure out what was happening. It took her less than that to figure out how to respond.

Guiding Killian’s hand around her waist, Emma sauntered over to where Walsh and Zelena were standing. “Wow, Walsh,” Emma piped up. “When you said you wanted to meet my fiancé, I didn’t realize you were bringing a plus one! And the baker for our wedding cake, too—what a coincidence.”

Zelena looked to Emma, then to Walsh—whose face was turning an appropriate shade of seafoam green—back to Emma. “I’m sorry. . . Walsh said he was going to introduce me to a ‘very special someone,’ and I thought—“

“Oh, Walsh is always like that, so secretive and dramatic.” Emma cut her off, but kept her gaze fixed unwaveringly on Walsh. “He loves surprises. But he was right, in a way—Killian is a very special someone, and I’m so happy I finally get to introduce him to someone like Walsh.”

Killian took the lead here, stepping forward and extending his hand. “Walsh, I presume. Killian Jones, at your service—or, more appropriately, at her service.” His smile was just a touch icy as Walsh took his hand. “Always. At her service.”

There was a faint series of pops as Walsh and Killian shook hands. Walsh winced.

“Firm handshake you got there, pal.”

“I save it for special occasions, friend.”

“Now, now, boys, there will be plenty of time for male bonding over lunch.” Emma smiled, looping her arm into Killian’s. “Shall we? It’s still a bit of a walk, and we’ll need to pick up the pace if we’re going to get a beachside table!”

“Um. . . of course,” Zelena nodded, scanning Walsh’s visibly shaken form one last time. “I hate to be the one to mention the elephant in the room, but I’m feeling like I’m missing out on some subtext here. Is everything alright? It just feels rather awkward.”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Emma looked back, regarding Walsh with another hard stare. “I guess this might be a little awkward, though. See, a while ago, Walsh and I used to date.”

With that, Zelena seemed satisfied, and the four of them walked towards their lunch destination. Walsh trailed several paces behind the others.

“I’m gonna kill him.”

“Swan—“ “No I might actually do it. Like physically murder him. Do you know any cops? Bail bondspeople? Lawyers? You might want to give them a call because I am going to kill him.”

The lunch had passed awkwardly but uneventfully, and now Emma was below deck in the Jolly Roger, nursing a drink of rum, glancing out the window and occasionally punching the bean bag chair in which she sat. Killian stood calmly beside the wet bar, his own drink in hand.

“Make no mistake, you’ll have no argument from me,” Killian shrugged. “I would just like to understand what the devil just happened. Walsh was. . . the leak? He told Zelena about us?”

“Sort of,” Emma grumbled, downing the rest of her drink all at once. “He’s smart enough to know that I’d see that coming a mile away. There’s all kinds of legal crap I could have Isaac sic on him if he straight-up told anyone about a sting.”

“So then. . .” Killian raised his eyebrows, gesturing with his hand for Emma to go on.

“I guess it’s just dumb, stupid, awful luck that he knew Zelena in high school,” Emma shrugged. “But once he figured that part out, which must not have taken very long, he thought he’d be able to end this whole thing by getting her to accidentally stumble on the sting.” She crossed over to where Killian was standing to refill her glass. “He told her about Ogre Mountain because it’s where I go to blow off steam. Hoped I wouldn’t make the connection until after she got to know me. Then I’d have to request someone else take the job with you.”

“And this little charade? What on earth could he hope to gain?”

“Expose me as his girlfriend while seeming like an innocent coincidence,” Emma took another gulp from her glass. “Did you hear him? He wanted her to wait by the restaurant. By that point, we’d have been walking together. . . he probably would have tried to have things smoothed over by then so we’d be holding hands or some crap.” She shook her head. “Then she’d see us together, he’d explain that he knew her and wanted us to meet and he had been trying really hard not to interfere but whoops, looky there, she ambushed him.”

“Until she saw you, decided to strike up a conversation, and his careful ruse was exposed,” Killian nodded. “Even so, it requires that this Walsh character consider you incredibly dull. Would he really assume that you couldn’t put two and two together? Or that you wouldn’t find a way to talk around that scenario with Zelena?”

“When Walsh is jealous,” Emma began, taking another swig and near-collapsing back in the chair, “that’s all that matters to him. Plus, after all, I’m a glorified waitress anyway, right? It’s not like the work I do matters, not like selling a freaking loveseat to a middle-aged couple for their summer home. . .”

Killian approached the chair, reaching out to gingerly lift the glass out of Emma’s hand, but her grip was iron. “Well, I suppose your encounter with Walsh was somewhat of a success after all, then?”

Emma laughed. “Yeah, I mean, can’t ask for better closure than finding out he’s a lying, traitorous ape. Plus it sold our cover even better to Zelena. Time to celebrate!” Her voice took a dark, angry edge. “My love life is crap, but our fake engagement is stronger than ever!” She finished her glass again, and this time bumped against Killian, blocking her way back to the rum.

“Perhaps we ought to get you something to eat before the next round,” He murmured, brows knit together in concern.

“I’m fine,” she grumbled, losing her balance slightly and steadying herself with hands against Killian’s shoulders. He raised an eyebrow, and she leaned closer to inspect his face. That genuine worry. That sincerity. It was so. . . different.

“Let me stay,” she whispered.

Killian blinked, blue eyes widening in shock. “Pardon?"

“Look, we don’t know if Zelena’s gone, she and Walsh were gonna catch up. I’m clearly not driving any time soon, so we might as well. . . make it convincing. I can text Elsa, tell her not to wait up, and leave in the morning. You could probably sneak off later if you and Will have plans or something. . .”

“I’ll stay with you,” Killian cut her off. “You’re in no condition to be aboard a vessel alone. Besides, I could be just as easily identified as you. And I was planning on spending the weekend here anyway.”

“Well then. . .I guess we have the night to ourselves,” Emma smiled.

Killian smiled back, nervously—Emma hazily wondered if she had ever really seen him nervous before. He hovered, lips inches from hers, for just a second. Then he gripped her shoulders and guided her back to her seat.

“You should call Elsa,” He scratched behind his ear. “I’ll. . . I’ll prepare us some sustenance. No Granny’s, certainly, but still a perfectly serviceable meal.”

Emma fumbled with her phone, cursing herself silently. She was an idiot—angry, tipsy, maybe even a little bit heartbroken—but an idiot all the same. How was she going to be able to get back to “friends” after this?

She was too dazed to notice the way Killian’s fingers reverently traced his own lips as he slid out of sight.

#the perfect sting #the perfect sting chapter 10 #cs ff #captain swan #cs fanfic #mine #BWAHAHAHAHAHA

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jamieloveharris · 5 years

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four words.

“there’s no heartbeat today. i’m so sorry.”

those four words. the weight they hold and the heartbreak they bring. you just don’t think it will happen to you, especially not two times in a row. that’s not how our God works right? he won’t put us through this again. what did we do to deserve this? why us? why can teenagers get pregnant on accident who don’t even want the baby and people who couldn’t want it more have to suffer like this? it just seems so unfair. i understand how unhealthy it is to think this way, but it’s also just the reality of the situation and the real thoughts you have. it’s hard to find a starting point to talk about this because emotionally, you’re all over the place. sadness, anger, confusion, unfairness, bitterness, selfish, devastated. it’s hard to compartmentalize how you feel when you feel so many different things all at once. you’re never taught how to deal with grief and honestly, i think we all deal with it very differently. and there’s not a right or wrong way.

let me back up and start from the beginning. writing has always been an outlet for me (not that I do it much, but in my head I’ve written a ton ;) ) . I don’t know that it’s the right time to share our story, but is there ever? i feel like miscarriage is a topic that’s not talked about enough because it’s just hard. what do you say to someone dealing with it? how do you deal with it if you’re the one going through it? why does it happen? why can’t they give me an answer? a lot of times i think as humans, we avoid hard discussions because it’s just easier. and i know i’m guilty of that a hundred times over but now that i’m in this position, it’s become more important to be open about it even if it’s hard and even if it’s very raw emotion. chris & i knew we wanted kids quickly after we got married. we weren’t trying super hard, but we weren’t not trying either. when we found on february 7th, i was in complete shock and even more excitement. waiting for him to get home that day truly felt like the longest day of my life because i had to keep it to myself alllll day long (like literally from about 9am until 8pm when he got home from a work event). we had plans to go to the Biltmore Estate the next day and all weekend we couldn’t stop talking about it. planning out our future, and how the rest of 2019 would look. there’s just no words to explain it. fast forward a week and all of our plans were shattered just that quick. Sorry for TMI, but I started bleeding and hurting, and didn’t stop. I knew what was happening right away. I went to the dr as soon as I could and it was true. we weren’t going to have a baby anymore. you truly feel like your heart is ripped right out of you. we only knew a WEEK, but the love you develop that quickly for a child you’ve never met cannot be explained. you just instinctively make every decision from the moment you find out to do what’s best for your child. then it’s gone. it was confirmed on valentines day and the next 5-7 days were just pure hell in all honesty. physically and emotionally. you don’t know what to say or do or think. you also realize how common it is, and for all the stories you’ve heard of those people you know, and those you don’t who have gone through this, you realize you are now one of them. i TRULY believe that unless you have actually gone through it you cannot understand. you can empathize, hurt for someone, be unbelievably sad and sorry for them, but you cant fully understand. and i say that from experience of having so many friends and/or family go through it. you say all the right things but it doesn’t help. yes, you know “it’ll be okay one day,” and “i’m so sorry, we’re thinking of you”, and you do appreciate all of the love and support you get but you’re also just so sad.

fast forward again to march 22. we were close to closing on a new house and moving. i had not had a cycle yet, but that wasn’t abnormal since it can take your body 4-6 weeks to get back to “normal.” I had a pregnancy test in the closet from last time and just randomly took it. I really don’t know why and had exactly zero reasons to think i was pregnant. i put it down and started packing and kind of forgotten i had taken it. i walked back in and almost fell out on the floor. there was NO WAY. I mean, not a chance right? pregnant?!? I hadn’t even had a cycle and it had just been a few weeks. google, google, google. okay it can happen. what the WHAT? gosh we are so blessed, God knew i needed something to keep me going. these are the thoughts you have. again, i had to wait for chris to get home. i laid it on the table and when he looked at it, i actually got kind of upset because he thought i was lying and playing a joke on him (for reference: this would never be a funny joke to anyone, EVER. please dont try and do aprils fools jokes about pregnancy.) he’s like, we have to go to the store right now and buy 10 more tests, this can’t be right, it’s probably “leftover” from last time (lol, good try but no). so we went and it was true. i immediately called the dr and scheduled an appointment because I needed extra confirmation. and it was true, we were having a baby! due the week of thanksgiving. how THANKFUL are we? the holidays are amazing enough, but with a new baby? what a blessing.

you go through a lot of anxiety after you come down from the high. every day you’re nervous. every day you think you’re going to lose it again. every time you go to the bathroom you pray you’re not bleeding. you want to enjoy it and soak it all up, but you also want to protect yourself from heartbreak again. i didn’t tell many people. i wouldn’t even let chris tell his mom or sister because I didn’t want to “jinx” it. sounds crazy and I get that, but you truly try and do anything you can to make sure it doesn’t happen again. you know that doesnt really prevent it but you just can’t help it. then it happens, and all of your worst fears come true again. it was last thursday afternoon and again, i started bleeding but just a little. and no pain. i was terrified and called the dr immediately and said I need to come in today. i don’t care what has to happen but i just need to know everything is okay. it wasn’t okay. i rushed there as quickly as I could. they tried to find the heartbeat on the doppler from the outside of my stomach but i was early still, almost 11 weeks, so she wasn’t concerned at all since you normally can’t hear it externally yet anyway. i saw a dr (not my normal one) - she checked me and said my cervix was completely closed and i was most likely completely fine, “sometimes pregnant women just bleed.” WHEW, WE’RE OKAY. then i went to ultrasound feeling pretty optimistic. i felt so silly rushing down there because i was totally fine right. they tried to find the baby from the outside but my uterus is tilted so it was blocking it. they did a vaginal ultrasound and then i heard the four words. i was in shock. I didn’t say anything for probably 30 seconds and even then, i just cried. she took me back to the drs office and we just cried together for a long time. i just couldn’t believe it was real. but we had to talk about next steps and I had to have a D&C. it was late in the afternoon and scheduling was gone for the day so i would have to wait until monday. i couldn’t imagine waiting 4 days knowing what was going on inside of me but i didn’t have a choice. i dont even remember driving the hour home. i just cried. first thing friday i called scheduling and thankfully they were able to get me in that afternoon. it sounds very harsh, but i couldn’t help but feeling like i just wanted it out of me. i couldnt deal with the pain i had last time all weekend. i couldnt deal with the mental side of it for 4 days. and in just a few hours, i’m getting wheeled back into surgery and 11 minutes later, there is no longer a baby inside of me. and then in another hour, we’re on the way home and it’s just back to normal life but no more holiday baby, and no more telling everyone the good news. mother’s day is this weekend, and we had planned to tell chris’ mom. we COULDNT WAIT. just the night before I miscarried, i got on etsy and ordered cute little “big cousin” shirts for my nieces and nephew.they came in today. i can’t bring myself to open them, so i just put them in the closet. i was starting to feel a little less anxious last week, because i was so close to being out of the first trimester. i just knew it was going to be okay this time and all that we had hoped for was going to happen.

i wish this was a happy ending, inspiring post on why to not give up. i wish i could say the things like, “we now understand why we had to go through all of this pain,” or “all the heartbreak was worth it for our miracle”, and the list goes on. i’m not there. I don’t understand why. It doesn’t make sense to me right now. what I can say is that ONE DAY, i do think it will, and i do think we’ll be able to say those words but that day is not today. i think so often when people share their stories, it’s after they’re healed (as much as you can heal after something like this), and they have a happy story to report. i think it’s so important to understand there is an in between period as well and that it’s okay to not be okay in that time. i truly don’t know what’s next. i can’t say that we will ever be able to tell that happy story with certainty. i do hope & pray every day we can but the truth is that i don’t know. i’ve found myself almost feeling guilty for sharing this, because so many couples go through so much more and still may not have their miracle. so many have 10 miscarriages, and spend thousands and thousands on IVF, and their bodies are basically a needle cushion from all of the shots, and their life revolves around trying to create a life that they so badly want and here we are, having suffered through 2 miscarriages and i am writing like we’ve had it so bad.on the flip side, the truth is that a loss is a loss. whether it’s one baby when you were 6 weeks pregnant, or 8 babies when you were 12 weeks pregnant, the heartache is the same. i am so so sorry for all of those women who have gone through this, for those who are currently going through it, and for those who will go through it in the future. you are not alone.

i was so nervous to reach out and share with people, even those i know had gone through it. i can’t explain how much it helps to just talk about it and allow someone to listen to you, even if they don’t have the words to comfort you or make it better. truthfully, nothing will make it better except maybe time. maybe this time next month i’ll be a little less sad, maybe i won’t cry when i think about it. but maybe i will - and that’s okay too.

for whatever reason i also feel like it’s important for me to say that i’m choosing to share this because i hope that maybe just one person will read it, and feel encouraged to talk about what they’re going through or know that people do love you, and are always there for you even when you feel like you couldn’t be more alone. if there is someone experiencing what I have, I hope they’ll reach out and I hope that I can pay it forward to someone what so many have done for me during these last few months. i can say with 100% fact that you are truly not going through this by yourself and no one should ever have to. i could never put into words how thankful i am for my support system and those who have known about this journey and who have checked in on me everyday, and prayed for us, and cried with us. it does not go unnoticed. so if you have been a part of that this far - thank you :)

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joneswilliam72 · 6 years

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The 405 meets The National Lights: on the process of returning to songs a decade old & finding new, brighter life within them (Part One)

It's not every day you interview one of your favorite bands from your late teens. Add to that the fact that The National Lights called it quits more than a decade ago, and the notion seems nearly fantastical. Yet, get back together they did, to offer the gorgeous new EP that is Whom the Sea Will Keep. Culled from old sketches of songs to form something new, the brief record is a special moment that nearly never happened. I could go on as to their history, and the origins of these new songs, but the band does so far better in their own words.

For such an exciting chat, things began in a low key manner, with Sonya Cotton, responsible for the band's memorable harmonies, dialing in first. We chatted about having linked up via email years ago after a CDBaby purchase while we waited for Jacob Berns, the band's lyricist, and Chris Kiehne, their primary musician, to join in. Once we were all on the line, we dived right in. Read on below.

Editor's Note: Due to the particularly lengthy nature of this extended dialogue, this piece has been divided into two parts. Tune back in soon for Part Two!

*****

So. For fans that have followed since your original album, this project returning will feel quite special. How did it feel for you all, resuming something once thought long ended?

Jacob: I don't think I saw it as over. It'd been put on hold, I'll let Chris, you know, give his take, but I think within the last year or so, we put our differences aside, and it had just been lingering, and it felt like ti needed to just get wrapped up. We were both ready to kind of move on, you know?

Chris: I think you can go back even further than that. It's not on the EP, but I remember the first song that Jacob wrote for what would become this project was written [pauses] you know, 10 years ago. Before Dead Will Walk, Dear had even come out. I remember you [Jacob] walking around the apartment playing it. So it's definitely, there was sort of like 5 years where, you know, Jacob was working...I guess it was part of the time where Jacob was working alone, before it became a collective project again.

Ok, so, jumping around, but you guys kind of led into this for me. I remember way back when, I would actually be checking The National Lights website for updates on this project. The album, or EP, name is the same, if memory serves.

Jacob: Yep, yeah, same title.

I was alway checking, hoping, 'Oh man, are they gonna do album #2. So, considering that you've held on the project for so long, has any of the material written when it was first conceived survived, or are they songs we're hearing things that spring from the ashes?

Jacob: No, actually, all 5 of the tracks that made this EP were originally part of that. They were all part of it. Originally it was going to be a full-length, I think, in my mind anyway. I'd written probably 10 to 12 songs for it. I don't even know if Chris has heard all of those, I had demos.

Chris: Yeah, I remember some of them. That's pretty fucked up, man, I haven't even heard all of the songs! [Laughs] We might have to get on that post-interview. There are just some character motivation issues, gaps that could have been filled in for me.

Jacob: Well, I think you leave that, submerged under the water. [Both laugh] So, yeah, those 5, I think that originally, at least I'd thought, even as it started getting pared back a little bit, and some of the songs fell off, and realized that it was actually gonna be shorter than a full length album, I really want to share some of the other songs, that were earmarked to be on this, but as it came down to the end, with Chris wrapping up the recording, it really seemed like these 5 came into focus. The others just didn't seem like...they didn't quite fit anymore. We need an opportunity to get those at there at some point, if there's interest in that. But I think the result is...I'm happy with these 5 songs.

So you've somewhat already answered this, but how exactly did you decide to pare it down from an LP to an EP? Was it purely the stronger songs?

Jacob: Yeah...and please, guys, jump in here. But partly I think it was the songs that were stronger, the ones that kind of fit well with one another. Then there was also just the basic logistics issue as well, where we were on opposite coasts now, and Sonya is in Utah, and we're all kind of dispersed. Getting together to record would have been very difficult, re-recording tracks, and doing this all by email, would have been a bit of a challenge. So there was that to consider. I think, if you give it enough distance, you can start looking at it a little bit more objectively. And some of the songs that I thought were really strong, or were really amused with some sort of cleverness, then I could see that maybe they weren't truly so strong or so clever, or exactly what I was really going for. Yeah. Time really provides that perspective, and 10 years certainly allows you a lot of that.

So were you guys at all in the studio together, or was this entirely a Postal Service type affair?

Chris: No studio time, no shared time. I mean Jacob and I haven't seen each other in person...[trails off], what would that be? 2008? Maybe over 10 years actually.

Jacob: 12 years?

Chris: Crazy. *Jesus.* So, yeah, no shared studio time. All correspondence.

Is it kind of a bizarre feeling? To come back together as a group without, well, coming back together?

Chris: Well, I think it's great. Hi, Sonya, how are you doing?

Sonya: Hi guys! How are you doing? I'm...I'm a little bit sick. So I might be quiet, my voice is lower than normal.

Same here, team sick.

Sonya: Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah! No fun.

So have you seen either of them more recently than they've seen each other?

Sonya: Yeah, I think I saw...the last two times I hung out with Chris, I was six month pregnant, both times. [Laughs] This past year, and two years before that. I have not seen Jacob for, I guess, gosh, a really long time. I long secretly for a reunion release show, but I haven't put that out there yet. I have no idea if there's any chance that will possibly happen, but I think that'd be super fun!

You guys gotta tour.

Chris: We should do it in Greenland or something.

Jacob: Switzerland?

Sonya: I think either of those locations.

Chris: I was thinking about this when I was working on Sonya's last record. We were making music together from like 18 to 22. And although Jacob and I have definitely been in bands apart before that, so much of, for me at least, so much of everything that I learned about being in band, about writing songs, those were really formative years, where the language was developed. To get back into that language with the two people that I functionally developed into record making vocabulary, vernacular, whatever, ti was pretty easy for me.

Sonya: Yeah, I relate to that. It's interesting to think 'why was that?' Why was that quite so easy? And yeah it probably has to do with what a formative time it was for all of us, yeah.

Chris: It was also, I will say, you know, Jacob, not to air your dirty laundry or whatever, but when we made Dead Will Walk, Dear, Jacob and I in particular at the time were real...perfectionists. We wanted to get everything perfect, and we didn't have the technology at the time to splice stuff together, so it's one thing to do this remotely. But when we were recording Dead Will Walk, and someone would be recording in the other room, like Jacob would be recording a guitar part, and you'd suddenly hear an agonizing scream, because you'd make it 2 minutes and 22 seconds into a 2 minute and 30 second take...and, you know, at 21, that was a real emotional struggle for us together. This time we could suffer in solitude.

youtube

So you led into this for me, not to go too far into it, but how did things originally kind of come apart?

Chris: So who wants to take this one? [Sonya laughs]

Jacob: I'll start, I guess. In college, it seemed, I don't know, it felt like there was a lot of pressure that we placed upon ourselves to get things just right. I think part of that was releasing a "first album". I think we'd all recorded songs before, and released songs before, but for me anyway, I was in a band in high school, and Chris was, too, we'd burn CDs and give them out to people, but this felt like the first one. We had put a lot of pressure to get it right. And Chris is being very generous. I think I am probably the most anal, and I certainly was then, about getting things just so. I really did believe in what we were doing together, and the collaboration, and all that, and I wanted to put the best foot forward. All that said, we were in college, and it still felt very...coming together felt really effortless in a lot of ways. It made a lot of sense. In my mind, college confused that in a lot of ways. Post-college you start figuring things out, so I think that, this is only one piece of it, but we all had different plans, right? I had always intended on going to grad school, and did that, I never intended to move all the way to the West Coast, that was a total surprise. Certainly did not intend to stay here for almost 10 years, but, but that was part of it. I'll say one more thing, I don't wanna monopolize the time here, but we did spend al oto f time together, and I think spending a lot time together, there's a lot of good that comes with that, and a lot of kind of, well, bad that can come from that. Frustrations become amplified, we were spending a *lot* of time together through that recording process, and then lived together, briefly, in Philadelphia as we were preparing for this tour that we were going on. Sonya, Chris, feel free to jump in, but I...think that spending all that time together it took a bit of a toll. I certainly wasn't the easiest person to work with through that, those things add up. I think it was, we were in St. Petersburg, and we played a show, and it just didn't click. It didn't go well. I think that was kind of the point at which the past fractured...I can't imagine that we would have...there's something nice in thinking about if we'd stay together all these intervening years, but we were able to move in our directions. I certainly think living together in that little apartment wasn't going to be a tenable situation anyway.

Chris: Yeah, we were in college. We were very significant parts of each other's lives already. Sonia and I had a relationship, friends with Jacob, we were all playing instruments together, we were all already very intensively involved in each other's lives. That was in college, and fast forward, and we're 22, and none of us really had any idea what we wanted to do with our lives, and there were 3 months we were pretty much the only 3 people each other saw. Like Jacob said, it could have gone a different way...but it didn't. It was just an intense window of time. I personally felt like I had no idea what I was going to be doing, I don't know if Sonya or Jacob had any more clarity at the moment. Whatever it had been, it was a tumultuous, tempestuous time.

Sonya: Yeah, I'd always say...I really agree with the point that, in a time from college to post-college, it's difficult in a lot of ways. I remember feeling really disoriented, and that time of life was really challenging. Like my entire life from the time that I have memories you're put in school, and then suddenly you're not, you're in the world. I think we were all navigating that moment together, in this sort of pressure cooker situation, all living together, trying to go on a tour. So, yeah, the cards were kind of stacked. Then, another thing I've reflected on over the years, interpersonal communication, interpersonal conflict, is not something that we're taught. Or, at least, in my culture growing up. It's something you have to learn trial by fire, and I think we're surely all better dealers with conflict and communicators now in our 30s than we were in our early 20s. If all of those things were to play out exactly the same way now, being who we are now, with the life experiences we've had, it would go differently, but that's maturity level we had at the time, that's how it all went.

Chris: I think maybe the root of...I know this is a not helpful way to explain why a band broke up, but I think we were incompatible problem solvers. We couldn't handle conflict at the time.

[I relate a story of the album bridging cultures while traveling on Jeju Island, Korea]

Sonya: Awwww.

Chris: That is the most wholesome story regarding that record I possibly imagine. I can't... That record was conceived with cheap, cheap, cheap gin and cheap orange juice and watching unnamable 80's slasher movies. So if something like that came out of that record I feel...great.

Jacob: Thank you for sharing that. That's a pretty incredible story.

Chris: Look we're all like 36, 34, 35, none of us are...rolling in musically financed...funds. The three of us have just reached the point where we feel a lot of gratitude that someone could have a relationship with a record we were involved with [Sonya: *Yeah.*] like the relationships we had with records in the time we were fell in love with each other, with music, that serious personal relationship with a record. So that's an incredible thing. I forget which track is this, but I saw in some bar I think, and there was a movie on the television, called Angus, and the third scene, I remember this so vividly, the love song they played, that's one of my earliest memories of Jacob.

Sonya: *What?*

Chris: It's just this scene with powerful emotional connections to the song, and it's one of the first things I remember about from my friendship with Jacob is talking about those things.

Dead Will Walk is certainly one of those records for me.

Chris: What's your favorite song?

That's a brutal question.

Jacob: Putting you on the spot, man.

Chris: [jokingly] 'Name one song.' [Laughs]

It might be a standard answer, but 'Swimming in the Swamp', and the way it leads into 'Killing Swallows', they're just the perfect one, two punch as a closing salvo.

Chris: 'Swimming in the Swamp' came together really...if I remember correctly it was the last one to come together.

Jacob: It was, that and 'Killing Swallows', that's really telling. I think it wasn't too long after that where we started getting focused on ocean narratives, and these people living in a boat, alone, going around the world. These romantic type notions about the ocean. It wasn't too long after that I was fixated on that, so those songs, are much more closely related to the songs on the EP than maybe even the others songs from Dead Will Walk, Dear.

I can see that, but I always felt the line on the last track, 'You'll hate me when this is over,' I believe, played into the rest of the LP. So, on that, I feel like your songs tend to tap into this almost fantastical...perhaps not so much fantastical, but certainly deeply romantic notion. Take the EP, as you said, the ocean, and this whole 'I'm in a whaleship' concept and Dead Will Walk dealing with young love and murder, these grand romantic ideas, but you use them to tap into something deeply personal and "real". I suppose there's not really a question in there. [Laughs]

Chris: Well, I appreciate it.

Jacob: I tend to get fixated on these things, and learning about them, even when I'll have a drink of choice, that will be *my* drink for an extended period of time. I'll focus on something and kind of see it through. It's really hard to...even as you're so focused on that thing, it's hard to divorce from the rest of what's going on from it. It's kind of weird to think about the songwriting process in this kind of retrospective way, but starting from these points of fixation and working into things that you know more about, using that as the entry point into exploring something a little bit more familiar. I can see that, for sure.

youtube

So when did you guys first start recording again?

Chris: Jacob recorded the basic tracks in Virginia, right?

Jacob: Yep, yep, that was a while ago. 2008 or 09.

Chris: And that would have been just the vocals, guitar, and banjo, and I guess you had done some stuff on ukulele, as well. If I remember it loosely, Jacob recorded these basic tracks, and he and I had less conversations about what he was doing. At the time The National Lights was just going to become the name that Jacob recorded under, and there was no idea that Sonya and I would be involved. And I'm not sure quite what happened, Sonya might have been moving schools, but it became more clear that there was no immediate plan for the future, and I was moving back to Baltimore, so I was like, 'whatev, ya know, I'll take a swing.' And then Sonya, I guess, owed us both favors or something. [laughs]

Sonya: Wait, what?

Chris: I don't know. (laughs) But at first it was just Jacob.

I didn't realize that these songs themselves were from so long ago - I had assumed you were simply revisiting the concept. So, how did it feel to kind of reclaim these ideas from a time gone by?

Jacob: Well, I think...these are the same songs in the sense that the lyrics haven't changed, the chord progressions haven't changed, but I went back and I listened to some of the iterations of this EP from the last five years, and I'm not sure when the last time that you Chris, or you Sonya, have heard these, but they feel completely different in many ways, totally different songs. (Sonya: yeah.) I'm really grateful that there was this amount of time. It's too bad that it took this long for us all to get on the phone together and be talking about this, because this too feels very effortless, but I think that 10 years was totally essential to getting the songs to this point, so, while they were written and much of it was, some of it anyway, was recorded a decade ago, almost, they still feel really kind of new, and very present for me. It doesn't feel like what we ended up with is wrapping up these loose ends from so long ago. A lot of it feels very current, a lot of the ideas that Chris and I were exchanging via email, those are new ideas, that happened, in some cases, just in the final month or so before we finally put a bow on this EP. I'm curious how Chris and Sonya feel about it, coming in after hearing some of these tracks so long ago, but that's kinda my take on it.

Sonya: Can I go next? Because I actually will have to go, sadly. I have a little baby. I remember that...I'd seen Chris conssitently over the years, I remmeber being in your apartment and you playing some of Jacob's songs for me, and even that was maybe 7 years ago, and I remember thinking, "Wow, I'm really glad Jake is making music and that you guys are colloaborating", but I wasn't overly blown over the way I was when you played these current mixes. I don't know the specific process of how the songs changed from then until when I jumped in late in the game, but they had just evolved into feeling like, um, so transporting and gorgeous, and I just couldn't wait to be a part of it, I was so excited. I am really, really happy with how it's turned out. So, yeah. I hear what Jacob's saying, it seems like this time was needed to get the album to the place where it is.

Chris: Yeah, I mean, we didn't have Sonya's harmonies on it, and what's a National Lights or Chris Kiehne record without those? We didn't have those until this past summer, I think. But, yeah, those add so much to it, and Jacob and I hadn't thought about that ina while, but we had these versions, where it was an almost finished EP, as early as 4 or 5 years ago, and almost all those parts were scrapped and redone or rearranged.

Sonya: Oh. It's been a pleasure talking to you guys, sorry to bow out early! Bye Jacob, bye Chris, bye Chase!

Chris: See ya, buddy.

And then there were two. So, where did the inspiration for these songs come from. Are any of you into sailing at all?

Jacob: Well, obviously some of these characters were real people. Joshua Slocum was the first person to sail alone around the world. And he wrote this really beautiful log of his journey and published it as Sailing Alone Around the World, and it's defintiely worth picking up. That was one of the main things that I was reading at the time. Listening to shanties, reading a lot of good, and some really bad, poetry about the ocean. And really just kind of reading whatever I could get my hands down. I've pared down my nautiful library at this point, but it had ballooned at the time to being ridiculous, so a lot of my writing was inspired by what I was reading at the time. The Whaleship Essex - I really like that song, it's probably my favorite on the EP, and it almost got cut.

Chris: I think, again, that's one of those that came together at the last minute. I'm eager to admit now it's one of my favorites as well, but it was one of those just wasn't making sense for, well, years. Then, all of sudden, it just locked in, over a weekend.

Jacob: Yeah, that came together real quickly, for sure. Or, not quickly. [both laugh] But I remember the last few emails we exchanged about that song, it just lasted an afternoon, and a few hours later you'd sent over the first 30 seconds of the song with a whole new piano track over it, and it just...as soon as I heard that swell at the beginning, and ebfore it came in, I realized that that had been better than what I'd been waiting to hear and trying to describe. I don't know, it was exactly hoping for without knowing what I was wanting.

Chris: That was a song that started out very different. I remember some of the langauge in the emails I was using, I was literally saying, "I will give it *one* last try and then we gotta drop it." And then with the piano thinking, 'Ok, this was the try that needed to happen.'

So how much, if anything, is autobiographical?

Jacob: Well, I think that it's impossible to divorce yourself entirely from the writing, and I think it'd be unwise to do that. You need to bring actual experiences and emotions to what you're working on. And I haven't written - or, I haven't *finished* a song, in a long time, but I'm constantly writing. So I think that while I love boats, and I've been on boats a couple of times, but I'm terrified of the ocean. The expanse of it is terrifying, right? And the solitude, I was trying to write about this a little bit, as I was writing about a couple of these songs for their premeries, buti t doesn't matter how many epopel you're with when you're on a boat looking out over the ocean. You could be surroudned by all your family and friends, a ton of people behind you, but you're still looking out over the railing towards the ocean and the horizon, and there's a soltitude you feel, that I feel, anyway, the vastness of it makes you feel so small, and so alone in those moments. Those are the moments that are ripe for introspection, gaining perspective, looking at yourself or at experiences in different ways, so I'm kind of talking around a little bit, but I think there are common themes that emerge that weren't written into it with them in mind, but albums and stories are all stronger for having themes naturally as opposed to writing them onto the song or story, like wedging them in there, those themes, regret, uncertainty, these things that are connected to that perspective that the ocean kind of affords. Certainly I have my fair share of regrets, we've talked about a few of them today, you really can't divorce yourself from it. In a sense there's autobiography in each of these songs, even if I'm writing looking at Joshua Slocum's life, the writer is still in the writing. There's still truth I guess with a capital T, or however you wanna put it, that's there, but yeah, I'm not killing whales. I'm a vegetarian. [chuckles]

Do you see the EP as kind of an open-ended narrative, or do you think the characters reach a conclusion?

Jacob: What do you think, Chris?

Chris: That's interesting. I actually don't really see this EP as being a single narrator, in the sense that I do still hear Dead Will Walk, Dear when I hear it. I do still the impression of a narrator, but I get different narratives. Still, exactly as Jacob was talking about, they have this sort of shared emotional landscape that surges through them. That's not surprising as Jacob has been working primarily in fiction for the past decade. But, yes, interconnected landscapes, but not so much a shared narrative. There's this sense of resolution in so far as you're looking at an emotional narrative, but not so much, for me, thinking of a narrator going on a particular close-circuited venture, ya know?

Jacob: Yeah, I agree. These songs feel much more distinct from one another than Dead Will Walk, Dear. There's much more thematic...it's almost just thematic, vs. Dead which is interconnected and feels like specific characters and narrative. Each of these songs have their own worlds and stories. They're certainly not all resolved.

As a listener I'm surprised to hear you say, Chris, that you find this record to be connected to Dead Will Walk, they feel so distinct, with that record having a particular emotional journey.

Chris: Purely out of genuine curiosity, what do you get from Dead Will Walk?

Loss. There's plenty going on, but an overall sense of young love leading to aching loss.

Chris: I don't want to speak for Jacob, but at the time we were so lost in our songwriting, our methods were so locked in and in sync at that time, Jacob was writing Dead Will Walk, I was working on my own zombie record, even Sonya was working on a slightly less conceptual thing, um, certainly, as Jacob was saying earlier, the end goal at the time was to use inherited or stolen horror movie archetpyal narratives to try and find some core emotional threads that run through them. So, yeah, that certainly would mean that the record was successful if it what's taken away from it is the ideological or emotional response...some of the reviews at the time that kind of missed what we'd hoped for were really, really exclusively locked in on the serial murder narrative, which isn't even prominently there, it's only hinted at. We were talking earlier about being 21 and 22, and how things could have gone differently, and just starting out as kids, the reviews could really destabilize you.

I remember - I wasn't a writer at the time, just a reader - but I remember some reviews feeling like they didn't bother peering beneath the very surface, and it really bothered me. Again, for what it's worth, those of us who found the album and spent time with it truly found something.

Jacob: And that's worth a lot. Again, at the time, we were living together, and you could just walk across the hall and knock on someone's door and start working through lyrics and ideas, that was the big idea, thinking about people listening and somehow finding something, whether it was grace or hope or some sort of connection.

I remember, Chris, Pray for Daylight, is that your record you were referring to?

Chris: Yep, that's the one I pretty much wrote concurrently with Dead Will Walk, and we were recording a Sonya record, and my record, and Jacob's record, pretty much all together, and when we did that your, we were kind of touring - it was a different era, with the band name - but we were touring pretty much as a variety show, insofar as we were playing all our songs. A National Lights set, a Chris Kiehne set, and then kind of it all mixed together as a big jumble. Backtracking a bit, but actually, with Dead Will Walk we dodged a bullet - almost right after we'd finished putting it together, everything from my project and that project were stored on my external, and 3 or 4 months after we finished Dead Will Walk, it just kind of tanked. If it had happened prior to us putting it out, we would have just lost it, as I did with about 1/2 of Pray for Daylight. Dead Will Walk, Dear narrowly missed a catastrophic expulsion from the universe.

Well, I'm sure we're all glad that didn't happen! Back to the current EP: with 'Whaleship Essex', there's the line, I believe, that he's going out for "ocean lore" and glory and the like. He's leaving love behind, which is arguably the crux of the song, so do you find what he's doing to be worthwhile, or just his ego?

Jacob: This could be a really long one. [Dry laugh] 'Whaleship Essex' is, too, a true story, this incident of this whale capsizing the boat as in the song, that actually did happen, and that was prior to Herman Melville writing Moby Dick, and there's been evidence that he's read some of the survivor's accounts of the event. Then there's the novel, and the Ron Howard film that tells the story. I've lost the title, but it's by Nathaniel Philbrick.

Chris: That's gonna bother me, I'm gonna look it up real quick. In the Heart of the Sea!

Jacob: That's it! Well, this song has a lot less of the CGI, ya know. So, for that, I think, the line you're talking about, the lore, in my mind anyway, has two totally different meanings depending on which chorus you're listening to. That initial chorus is much more hopeful, it is an adventure, going out there, with young men, some on their 1st voyage, part of this economy and community that existed, I believe, in the Nantucket area, and there's this adventure and lore they're pursuing, then, of course, between that first chorus and the second, they are attacked by the whale, they're 200, 250, or maybe even more out from any sight of land, and they're left stranded there, and forced to do these things, where you think, 'What would you do to survive?' And you find the answer to that question, and this is a rather extreme circumstance, and this lore is completely different from the romantic pursuit of glory and comraderie, and all of those things that come with going out on this whaling voyage. So, those two meanings, I think, totally change.

*****

Check back soon for the rest of the conversation!

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survivor-themyscira-blog · 7 years

Text

My tribe SEEMS nice so far, but it's weird how there are so many meninists here instead of women fighters. When I win, it's gonna be funny because I'll literally ruin Wonder Woman's legacy

I AM SO PUMPED TO BE PLAYING! I really like a lot of the people I'm playing with and I really want to get to know people I don't know already and if merge DOES happen I really want to work closely with Emily and make her my number one! I'm so excited, I can't wait for this to be another great season, woohoo! <3

okay, my number one on my tribe as of right now is going to be JACK! we played in another game together and I didn't speak to him until like right before I got booted, and I tried to flirt with him to keep me so this time we're going to work with one another FROM THE BEGINNING! But believe me, when it's time to merge or tribe swap?? EMILY is gonna be my number one! Also... talking to JG is like talking to a wall look- [10/11/17, 10:55:41 PM] JG Carse (SirDragon) 🐉: Heyyyy [10/11/17, 10:56:00 PM] Ruthie: hey! how are you? [10/11/17, 10:56:18 PM] JG Carse (SirDragon) 🐉: Great [10/11/17, 10:56:41 PM] Ruthie: that’s good! i’m so excited for this season! I HATE ONE WORD ANSWERS MORE THAN ANYTHING UGH. also I doubt I'll ever write this many confessionals so...... i'm also looking forward to working with logan he is one of my FAVES! but i don't want to rely on people I've known before so I really hope I get to know everyone better.

Oh GROSS did I really flirt with a SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD in that other game, why did I think Jack was like 22 or something, EW. anyway he's still going to be my number one this season! why am I still making confessionals

There Charlotte. Now you have something to read. How could you put me on the same tribe as Kai and Andreas?

It's been an hour and I still don't know what the fuck is going on.

Holy shit, I was hoping this would be a nice return to TS and it did not disappoint! I mean, sure, I was only gone for a short while, but still. So far, my tribe looks amazing, and I really wanna get to talk with some of them more. I'm excited to meet with Billy and Jack once we merge or swap, and it'd be nice to play a game with Madison for once! There's one weird thing, though. Jordan Pines volunteered to be my goat. Yes, you read that right.

My name is Jaiden Hantz and I have something to say...! So I found the Ares Helmet, a super hidden immunity idol. The catch is, it can only be played at the first tribal!!! Damn! As shitty as it is, I don't really want to go to the first tribal. I want Jordan Pines to go home first more than anything, so I'll pray for the best possible outcome. This kind of power falling into my hands is SUCH a fun twist because I'm the only player that would actually use it at the first tribal council if given the opportunity. While not quite at Bahamas level of record time to find an advantage, I'll take what I can get here. I TRULY want to win this game because I need some redemption from Bahamas, so let's do what I can to get there. I don't need to play Athena eleven times to win (my main seasons are SHAKING). Let's get it done.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2epIBobywQ&feature=youtu.be

Welcome to Themyscira! We have NO FREAKING IDOLS

I swear to god I'm going to rip my hair out I did that gosh darn puzzle it took me half an hour (probably why I didn't find it) and I discover that it is... not there. On 10/11/17, at 11:43 PM, charlotte (themyscira host) wrote: > Unfortunately there is nothing left to find. Sorry! Nothing hurts my heart more. Anyways, other than knowing that the idol is already in play and that I don't have it, things are going well. I know Rhone, Jordan, and Toph (three men... ew) so I already have connections with them. They have all come to me separately talking about working together and I'm like nut sure but if they ask me to vote out a girl then I'm cutting them lol This season like I'm only looking out for me and my girls ya know what I'm saying I love women I like Madeline she seems fun and I want to be her friend and I also like Nicholas. Kai has yet to respond to me but I love inactives because they're an easy vote jfdkfaslka I'm just hoping we win this first immunity so we don't have to go to tribal and... risk being the first boot. I'd cry. Also this is ICONIC I was playing in a game with Jordan at like 10:30, got voted out (5 [me] to 2 [Madison, who I believe is on the other tribe fjlskdfklas]), and now I'm on another tribe with him at like 10:35. He voted me out like five minutes ago and then HAHAHAHA I'M BACK I HOPE YOU MISSED ME! I love selfie scavenger hunts because like omg I love selfies and I love scavenger hunts so like it's a major nut. I also see that the hosts want us to lip sync to a song... they're most definitely going to put all our videos together so like I'm going all out I gotta look cute and I gotta get er done well. Oh just a reminder that Lily, Madeline, and I are making merge 100% and if people try to vote us out I'm literally gonna be like remember when this was supposed to be an all female season yeah let us have it and um they gotta! It's just the tea! I'm a little grossed out at how many boys there are but I am just letting it be known that merge will be all girls and that's that on that. Okay I'm ending this with a quote from Toph: Me: I'm going to be PG in this confession. I'm going to replace my curse words with more appropriate words Toph: Like moist? This game is so freaking moist!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHgjh-NrLSU&feature=youtu.be

Okay but like Lily is already speaking my language: On 10/12/17, at 12:33 AM, Emily wrote: > are we like 2/3 girls on this tribe On 10/12/17, at 12:33 AM, Lily M-seq (Sunda Islands Host) wrote: > i think we are On 10/12/17, at 12:33 AM, Emily wrote: > wow gross On 10/12/17, at 12:33 AM, Lily M-seq (Sunda Islands Host) wrote: > gross indeed On 10/12/17, at 12:34 AM, Emily wrote: > hopefully one day there’ll be all girls On 10/12/17, at 12:34 AM, Lily M-seq (Sunda Islands Host) wrote: > tru! > how would u feel about an all girls alliance > or at least a Hippolyta girls alliance On 10/12/17, at 12:36 AM, Emily wrote: > I would nut Lily can like... get it! And SO CAN MADELINE I LOV HER TOO SHE'S SO NICE WTF i just want to be her best friend like wow I love the 2 other girls on this tribe and no doubt about it I'm making an all girls alliance with them at some point. I love women this whole confession is dedicated to how much I love Lily and Madeline ALREADY

Ughhhh i just got the worst advantage ever. The lasso of truth. It reveals who voted who in a tribal of my choice. I guess if i use it efficiently it would work well but Kai is not a strategic bunny so. Everyone on my tribe seems great so far but theyre asleep so im gonna assume theyre great arent i. I know a few people too so hopefully.those relationships carry me.

Logan

aaaaaa ill make a real confessional soon but aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I hate jordan pines

MADELINO AND KAILET FOR THE WIN.

For me the challenge is going alright, I'm about to upload a few more picture and a couple videos. I'm not much concerned with how everyone else has been handling it, it seems pretty straight forward. I hope we win cause I don't want to risk being first boot and that becoming my worst placement ever after going 1st then 5th in my two other games. As far as tribe interactions go, Nicholas and I seem to have similar academic pursuits, that could be a bonding thing or turn each other against ourselves in a late game scenario(not even close to that so I won't worry to much, just keep it in the back of my mind for now.) Toph has talked a little to me, but I'm hesitant to try to push for more at this stage, Emily is a sweetheart, Madeline seems chill, JORDAN PINES I've heard a lot about him and would rather him be with me than against me. Lily has said much to me, and it looks like there will be no chance of a Kuang Si Alliance as Andreas and Kai have given me the cold shoulder.

Alright!!! Hello everyone and welcome to The Mascara. That wasn't funny and so won't be anything you'll be reading from here on out, but that is okay because I say so. Soooo, I wasn't here at the first day but I am here now and I am happy to see that I am teamed with Ian! I love the guy, even if he's a powerhouse and will be a threat later on. But why care about that now... right? Besides Ian, I've only been able to chat with Emily and Jordan Pines so far and I think I've given them a glance into the abyss of my personality. I'm also excited to eventually meet up with JG again. Please mind that I am still very new to ORG's, so I still need to learn a lot. :-* ---- The first challenge sounds amazing but I don't think I can get a lot done, but I'll do as many as I can do today. I want to carry my own burden, so nobody can say I am not trying. That'll be all for now, thanks for watching the Andreas Show! Cheers!

I am the only one that has turned any of my selfie things in and it is SO frustrating, COME ON TRIBE, get your shit together!

Andreas is a lil weird but I like it he’s like teaching me how to cook pasta like #thankyou and he also told me I’m doing well on the challenge and I’m happy! He said the people that aren’t doing the challenge will like first boot so that’s reassuring that ya know won’t go home first woooo. Also like I just love Madeline so much and I want to be her best friend she’s so nice and wow. Like she already is like telling me she loves me and I’m like https://tmblrsurvivorextra.tumblr.com/post/166363315731 (credits to duncan for making this gif of me)

I hope Jordan Pines gets 2nd place again!

Let's do a little cast assessment jush. Idgaf about the other tribe but I love this tribe so thank you so much for not fucking me over like Tumblr Survivor loves doing ok: Jordan Pines - I actually want to sincerely work with Jordan this season because I will absolutely stomp him at FTC if I can get him there, and he'll always be targeted before me. So I'm treating him like my ride or die and so far we're making all decisions together. He's a really sweet person but he is so annoying at times it borders on disturbing. Madeline - Ok what a fucking queen, I love that we're the same age and just have similar senses of humor and stuff, plus she's new to the community so she'll want allies and Jordan and I are happy to be that for her. I love ha. Emily - Love ha too, queen of sincerity, queen of me knowing her game inside and out bc I just hosted her for 27 days and she does like SO many confessionals so I know all of her tea lmao. She could be a liability down the line but premerge she's good to have in my camp. Lily - So great and it's been forever since I've last seen her so I'm really happy she's here. Me her and Jordan all worked together in a game once upon a time and that didn't end too great so this can be our REDEMPTION. Nicholas - Nicholas is such a bae and my friend but literally where is he lmfao.

Kai - Really really sweet but we haven't talked a ton yet, probably gonna work with him. Toph - He's nice but we just haven't connected. I can't be promising everyone that I'll work w them if we end up going to TC you know? Which leaves... Andreas - Yeah he hasn't added me back yet yet has done like a ton of the selfies for the challenge so Idk what the deal is there. Survivor is a really difficult game and all I want is to go as far as I can while staying true to myself. My Achilles heel has always been my self-doubt and second-guessing tendencies so I'm trying to nip that in the bud right now and take advantage of a very advantageous premerge situation for me. I'm dreading a swap bc I barely even know who's on the other tribe but we'll just have to wait and see!

Honestly I’m pretty happy with the tribe so far even tho I’ve made no connections and my flop ass will probably be first boot

Not to be rude or anything but we have two hours where the fuck are Lily, Nicholas, and Rhone

RIP JG. Sucks to have to quit the game early, and it doubly sucks what he's going through. Obviously I'm a bit relieved to be safe after contributing a lot to the team's score and watching us get demolished, but it's certainly not a good omen for things to come.

Jordan is really nice I’m just reluctant to work with him. But like ya know I think I’m gonna anyway because I hate myself. But also um I need to talk to Madeline and Lily about that all girls thing lol I can’t not make an all girls alliance this game u know like. I just can’t not

I also told Jordan about the idol being missing when I completed the idol puzzle and he seemed surprised but ... he also could be lying. He said he didn’t even know we could search yet. And I don’t know if I believe it but hmm I’ll consider it

It’s just kinda annoying that Jack is being rude to me about us losing. Like I could’ve either done nothing or get us another 20 points - tops. Sorry that we lost but we don’t actually have to go to tribal council, SO check your attitude mister! I take full responsibility for not submitting. I don’t know what I was thinking, I KNEW it was due today but it just didn’t occur to me that it was actually due I guess. I’m shaken up. I feel terrible that JG had to leave but I hope he’s doing okay :( I kinda want to see what would happen if we DID lose a challenge though. Tribal council is an interesting place to be, I wouldn’t mind going there myself..

Imagine being spared as first boot by a med-evac? Truly a miracle! But I feel like even if JG hadn't left, Raymond/Jaiden would've been bigger targets to leave since they didn't do the challenge. Right now I'm hoping that the relationships i have with Logan and Dan from before this game can keep me afloat. Tbh I would rather be with the other tribe. They seem cuter to me.

OH ALSO WE WON SJSBSJSNS I FORGOT TO CONFESS ABOUT THAT AND I GOT THE MOST POINTS OUT OF EVERYONE AND J GET A SPECIAL THING but there was nothing in my matches #rig

I'm really digging this game so far. My tribe is super active and nice. I feel bad that I'm not around much, but I'm hoping once things calm down I'll be able to hang out more.

#whatidoisnotuptoyou #athena11 #episodes

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