slitheringss

[just-a-mod]

this man will have a permanent place in my heart for all of the help he has given me by simply existing

when old pains come back, he's still here with me, and i appreciate him so damn much

[deanbrainrotwritings]

— colder than my heart, if you can imagine

SUMMARY : you and soldier boy can’t seem to get along, but it may be because of something deeper than hatred or jealousy. 

PAIRING : soldier boy (ben) x fem!reader

CHARACTERS : Payback

WARNINGS/TAGS : explicit(18+), soldier boy cloak-hating, dirty talk

WORD COUNT : 2.3k

A/N : title from a day to remember’s song. this fills the square rivals AU on my @jacklesversebingo card. I know, no smut in the presence of soldier boy?! what?!! xx 

This was it.

This was where he belonged. Soldier Boy. In the field. Well, it was a forest.

But this was home to him. 

The sound of weapons firing, bullets hitting trees and leaves and dirt. Soldiers on both sides and his team were shouting in every direction. 

Thick smoke clouded his vision, coppery blood and gunpowder invaded his nose, and stale sweat filled the air to make it all better. 

He inhaled deeply as a group of poorly-armoured men headed in his direction, their guns were immediately pointed at him. He smirked and counted them in his head as he drew his gun from its holster with impressive speed.

Faster than he could pull the trigger, though, he watched you drop down from the sky like the fucking Devil getting cast out of Heaven. A loud boom shook the ground, the trees shook, dirt rose and shot outwards, and all the smoke ran from you. 

Your cloak snapped at him mockingly and he clenched his jaw, nearly broke his gun in half as you stole the fucking spotlight again.

There you fucking were, a neon sign that begged to be shot at. 

Ice cold sheets travelled in front of you as soon as you hit the ground, your knees bent in what he could only imagine was your graceful pose. 

Arrogant little shit.

The ice searched for warm bodies, freezing everyone in icy cocoons within fifty metres while you stood there in your brightly lit, colour changing suit, and your stupid fucking cape.

He’d heard of you. 

Winter’s Wrath. 

Unstable. Literally. As expected, with a name like that. 

He watched you jump upwards, three times the length of your body before you smashed back down and every pillar of ice that was once a person, shattered into nothing. The ice quickly melted in the summer of South America, as if those glacial shards could do so only with your permission. 

“I had that,” he grunted, stomping forward to get in front of your face. Your dark grey cloak was lit by delicate, fine wires of light that changed colour: red to orange to yellow to green to blue to violet, and finally to pink before going right back. 

“I’m just here to help,” you assured him softly. 

Your eyes met his, but it was like he was only a ghost to you. Your gaze was distant at first, then you blinked once in confusion, and finally focused on him. He realised quickly, you were just watching the lights of your armour change and brighten his face. 

Yup. There was something wrong with you in the head, at least that’s what the other Supes said about you. 

“Stay out of my way,” he warned, his voice nearly a deep growl as he stood in your personal space. You considered his words with a blank face and he huffed out a breath of irritation when you stared at him for a good minute. Then, he stepped away and walked forward to rendezvous with his team. 

He heard the soft press of your feet against mud and the quiet ruffle of your cloak before he heard the gentleness of your unused voice. 

“Can’t,” you said more playfully, “I’m part of your team for this mission.” 

It’s like you knew he wanted anything but that. Someone that would outshine, outperform, and outdo him. He hated it. Everyone was already terrified of you. But he especially hated the colourful lights that followed you and the stupid sound of your cloak whipping your armour as you walked. 

“Got a problem with that, Ben?” You asked when you started to match his pace. He stopped to answer and expected you to do so, too, to listen to him like everyone else always did. Instead, you continued to walk forward while he remained behind you. He growled softly when you passed him and told him, “talk to Stan Edgar.”

He couldn't wait for them to put you back on ice. Preserved. Asleep. Like you always ended up after being awake any longer than a month.

For whatever reason.

“For three years, the CIA and the DEA have been trying to bring down Victor Santiago,” you heard over your ear piece. 

You spaced out as you admired the green of the Ecuadorian forest. A smile tugged at your lips as you breathed in the fresh air of untouched atmosphere, petrichor, wood. Leaves kissed each other, branches bent to touch their companions with quiet creaks, and animals sang their songs of peace and joy. 

Finally away from the city. 

“Santiago got his hands on sensitive Vought information. You’re here to keep Vought’s secrets safe from whatever Santiago has planned. Push into the forest, find his base, and take him out.”

It didn’t take long for you to remember that you weren’t actually alone. 

“It’s so fucking hot,” Tessa complained, mostly to her twin brother. 

“And all this fuckin’ leather doesn’t make it better,” Tommy agreed. You heard him stretch the leather away from his body and snap back at his skin when he got enough fresh air in. 

You rolled your eyes at them and instantly smelt the irritating stench of cigarettes from Soldier Boy. He made his way next to you and took a deep long drag that turned the butt of the cigarette red before releasing the smoke from his lungs in front of him like a damned smoke grenade went off. 

Leave it to the assholes in Payback to ruin what would have otherwise been a great time. 

“All right, fuckheads,” Soldier Boy started, walking a few feet in front of you as he adjusted his shield. “You know what to fuckin’ do and don’t forget…” He turned around and locked eyes with you—even pointed accusingly at you. “…Victor’s mine.” 

You bit your lip to hide your smug smirk, but settled for a fake cough as ideas to ruin his day swarmed through your mind. 

He ventured deep into the forest with Payback spread out to cover more land. 

He could still hear the buzz of Swatto’s wings on his left and caught glimpses of the Crimson Countess a few feet away to his right. 

But most importantly, you were off elsewhere, somewhere he couldn’t see. 

He didn’t want to see you or even feel the coldness of your existence near him. 

He’d had enough of the way everyone seemed to be drawn to you because of your abilities. His team, Stan Edgar, other Supes, and people who wrote articles about you—practically worshipped you. 

He could always control his team and keep them beneath him, within the shadow of the name he built for himself through Vought. But you were impossible to tame, like a blizzard. You froze everyone so they could only stare in awe at you, even himself. And he hated every second that you captivated him, caught up in your powerful presence. 

But it was inevitable. You were inevitable.

No matter how big the forest was, he’d converge with you one way or another as you and his team made it to Victor’s compound around the same time.

But you made sure it was clear that you were there first. 

He felt the ground shake and a gust of cold wind bit his cheeks when he entered to find the enemy forces that you came across completely frozen.

He knew you were doing it on purpose, leaving their fully frozen bodies untouched for him to finish off. He wasn’t going to play that game with you.

He ignored the call for his name and the red sphere from Crimson Countess that shattered the bodies when Ben hurried to catch up with you instead. 

He joined you when you came to an entrance where the guard stood, he could feel you start up again. The coldness of you beat down the heat of him, an ice pack to a swollen joint. He might literally become nothing if you climbed your way up above him.

You left the guard beaten, out of his mind in pain, and focused your attention on freezing the door until it burst open. He shot the guard carelessly between the eyes, his fiery gaze burned into you, but you were unphased.

You turned to face him, your lashes fluttering prettily at him. Smug. Challenging.

If he didn’t hate you, he might’ve liked the way you looked at him. 

But you left him standing at the entrance, looking over your shoulder with a tiny smile on your lips as you came near to a new, massive space with shipping containers and an infantry of what were most-likely henchmen.

There you went again.

Delicate. Elegant. But so irritatingly powerful. 

You took most of them out with the wrathful frost of your abilities. A fresh skiff of snow fell to the ground, on his armour, on his warm skin. He felt the shiver run up his spine but he ignored it to keep up with you. 

That’s when his team finally caught up and it gave you a chance to leave the remaining henchmen to Payback. It was still a race to you, the childish game you were playing annoyed him, but it provoked him into playing along to prove he was the best. He ignored his struggling team and stayed a step behind you as you made it to an old elevator where a small group of goons attempted to escape.

He grunted as he was shot at and punched. He staved off a few attacks with his shield, he punched at whoever got in his way, stabbed at whoever tried to stab him first, and finally was able to reload his gun while he watched you hold the elevator in place.

He joined you once he killed the last few henchmen and helped you drag the elevator all the way down. The thick wires creaked and snapped and blazed at the force of his pull. 

Your laughter distracted him momentarily. Your hood fell back and your soft hair swept over your flushed face when you leaned down towards the three men. You dragged the two of them out by their ankles with a playful grin.

Their attempts to shoot you were futile, the bullets fell from your body like rubber hitting metal. You still kicked away their weapons and pressed your boot into one of the men’s neck. Ben killed the other two as you began questioning the squirming, fearful man.

“Where’s Victor?” You loosened the force of your foot on his neck and the man gripped the bottom of your boot for a proper breath. 

“Come on, fuckface,” Ben urged impatiently, “answer the lady or you’ll end up like these guys.” The man hesitated and considered you and then him. You looked indifferent and cold and Ben looked furious and hotheaded. 

The man conceded with a vehement nod. “T-There's a base underneath.. That's w-where you'll find V-Victor.” 

Ben watched you release him entirely and you went to help the man up, but Ben shot him—casually. The man’s fingers grazed yours and he flopped back down in a pool of his brains and blood. 

You turned to glare at him.

“Yeah?” Ben rolled his eyes at you. 

“Why’d you do that?” 

“He gave us the information,” he shrugged, then made his way to the elevator with you close behind him for the first time since the mission started. 

“It’s not gonna be an easy path leading up to Victor, Ben,” you berated him. He rolled his eyes at you again and pounded the button on the wall with a fist to take you both to the lowest level. “He could’ve made it easier for us.”

“Well, since it bothers you so much, I give less of a fuck than I did before.” You scoffed at him and your jaw clenched. He smirked at your reaction and reloaded his gun to be fully prepared for the next fight. “I don’t think we’ve ever been together in such a small space for this long before,” he pointed out hotly and stepped closer. 

He really didn’t like you, but damn you were hot. Your ass looked so damned tight in your irritatingly light-y suit. He really wanted a piece of you, maybe, especially because you frustrated him. 

Your eyes narrowed at his tone. You looked up at him boredly. “That's because I don’t like you.”

“No?” 

“Yeah, no.” 

“I could make you cum like all your ice went through a fuckin’ heatwave.” He watched your eyes drift away as you pondered his words, your cheeks suddenly frosted with pink. He bit his lip at your reaction.

But the elevator shook as it stopped, landing on the floor where Victor would be. And you were out of there before he could add more to his offer. 

You continued to push through more loyal soldiers, making your way deeper inside. He helped you navigate several hallways and eliminate more enemies. You both split up again, but you always ended up at a nexus point, a hallway that led to a dead end up ahead.

He watched you go into a hallway across from him, but when he emerged from his, you didn’t meet him at the centre. 

He knew you must have found Victor. 

He swore angrily under his breath and stomped into the hallway you’d disappeared into. The lights flickered above him, there was a frozen path you’d created leading into the room he assumed you were in. 

He didn’t expect it, but you kept Victor practically untouched—he just didn’t know why. His feet frozen to the ground, there were no weapons near him. You were sitting on top of a desk, a frozen dagger began melting with warm blood in the head of Victor’s right-hand-man.

He looked away from them, away from Victor with a patch of ice over his mouth to muffle the sounds of his voice. You bit your lip and gazed up at him seductively when he contemplated you with wary eyes.

“Truce?” 

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do not steal, plagiarise, translate, or republish my work on another platform

[fleet-of-fiction]

Jake Kiszka // Female Reader

Summary: It's your job to translate. But when Jake asks for private Spanish lessons, it complicates things. You try to fight it, but one night the fight gets all too real. And you realise you need him more than you ever thought you could.

Trigger Warnings: Mild S/H. Physical Violence. Full penetrative sex. Foreplay including oral. All the usual smut warnings.

"En español, Jake!" You admonished, tapping your finger down onto the page with vitriol.

He looked up at you with a frustrated sigh. As if the words were swimming around in his head but simply refused to spill out of his poised mouth.

"I'm so sorry." He apologised, slamming the book closed. "I just can't imagine why you haven't punched me in the face yet."

You had a little sympathy for him. Learning a new language in adulthood was fastidiously hard. You'd watched him for hours trying to curl his tongue around the way things were spoken in conjunction to how they were written down.

"The thought may have crossed my mind." You replied playfully, stashing the book back in your bag.

He watched you gathering your things together. Leaning back in his chair, arm draped casually down the back as you tried to pretend that you weren't aware.

"Why won't you let me take you out for a drink?" He asked, again, leaning forward onto the table. "It's just one drink, where's the harm?"

You slipped your bag over your shoulder and gave him the same balanced look you had given him all the other times he had tried to convince you to go out with him for a harmless drink.

"Jake, I can't keep doing this with you."

His arms were crossed as he leaned on the table. Long, lithe fingers locked together as he tried to downplay the disappointment. There was a sadness there in his eyes as he tried to smile.

"I know. I'm sorry, I just lose my head around you sometimes." He uttered, cracking his knuckles as he got up to walk you to the door.

You stopped in the hall to slip your shoes back on. Conscious of his eyes burning into the back of you. It would have made you uncomfortable were it not for the fact that every single time you had told him no a small part of you had died inside. These stolen moments where you knew he was studying your body were all you could enjoy.

When you turned around he was holding the door open for you. A thousand things on his mind that he ached to say, but couldn't.

"Maybe we shouldn't do this anymore." You suggested, "I mean, it was a crazy idea to begin with. I'm not a Spanish tutor, I'm your fucking translator. I'm already on the payroll. It'd be like dating my boss. You know that's why I have to say no, right?"

It was a downright lie.

He raised a hopeful eyebrow. "And not because you don't think I'm sexy?"

He was insufferable in the way you couldn't stand the fact he made you laugh. That had been the reason you had agreed to give him Spanish lessons in the first place. Because he had made you laugh with his goofy silliness. His self deprecating manner was endearing. And you hated him for that.

"Comportate, por favor." You told him, slipping out of the door before you changed your mind.

You weren't averse to dating rock stars. There had been times, in the past, where you had been hired to go on tour with artists who didn't speak the language of the countries they were moving through. It had been your job to liaise with concert venues, hotels and media outlets. Sometimes allowing yourself to be courted by these melodic creatures. There was something about musicians that drew you in.

Perhaps it was because they were poets. They valued art over everything else. To you, language was the most powerful art of all. To have the knowledge of words that could be understood the world over was truly a gift. And you could speak eight of them.

When Jake had asked you to teach him one of your gifts, initially you had balked at the idea. There was something about Jake that made you nervous. He made you feel like a song with just a fleeting glance. You weren't sure of yourself around him. It felt as if at any given moment something beautiful might happen. He wasn't a temporary fuck on a job you knew would only last a few weeks before moving on to the next. You knew, intrinsically, that if you allowed him to touch you there was no moving on from it.

He was peering at you from his porch steps as you got into your car. Patiently waiting until your seatbelt was on before waving sweetly. Like a Grandma would. Only stopping when you were out of sight.

"Damn you, Jake..." You whispered to yourself as you turned the corner, wishing you could rescind the past seven days.

~

You slammed the overhead locker shut and slumped into your seat below. Eye mask lingering on your forehead, ready to be pulled down so that the fluorescent lights on the plane didn't give you a migraine. Your skin was moisturised, your hair coiled in loose braids down each shoulder. Ready to sleep for the next eleven hours.

You watched the rest of the crew and management team take their seats. The unspoken rule of long haul flights being that nobody conversed. Nobody disturbed the other. It was a time to rest and reflect before chaos ensued.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" He asked, swinging himself into the seat beside you before you could protest.

Your mouth agape, you watched him get comfortable in the space where you had planned to put your feet.

"Jake?" You sighed. "I thought you were sitting with your brothers up front?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "I wanted to sit here, with you."

You were still waiting for him to embellish as he pushed his shoes off and stretched his feet out. He was wearing those blue jeans with the cut in the knee he had worn every day the previous week, with a ripped hem shirt that was only buttoned half way. His chains hanging against his flesh between the opening.

You wondered how a person could endure eleven hours in clothes like that, but Jake always seemed to put style over comfort. It was one of the first things you'd taken in about him. Every single facet of his being was a token of his personality. He was his own canvas.

You couldn't help but smile.

"Ok, fine." You allowed, "But we're not having an impromptu lesson or anything, I plan to sleep."

You slipped down your eye mask and tried to hide the fact you were terrified of flying as the plane took off. The rumble and strange loss of gravity churning your stomach as you gripped the arm rest. Only settling once you were in the air and the subtle sounds of people sleeping and turning the pages of books was all you could hear.

He kept silent while you slept. And when you awoke to find your legs splayed across his lap, you flinched involuntarily. His head snapped up from the back of his seat. Eyes wide and for a moment neither of you could remember where you were.

You weren't sure how you'd ended up in the position you found yourself in. If he had placed your legs there himself, in some act of kindness you'd not asked for. Or if you had done it yourself in your sleep, and he had simply allowed it.

"Sorry." You grumbled, taking back your feet and slipping the eye mask around your frazzled braids.

"You don't like flying, huh?" He asked, running a hand through his knotted locks.

You were quick to defend yourself. "What makes you say that?"

The most heart breaking memory seemed to come to him. Smiling as if he may never have that time back. You felt the blood rush to your head as he looked at you. His deep brown eyes catching yours for the briefest of moments.

"You reached out for me in your sleep." He replied, almost in sadness.

You blushed. Turning away from him hastily, busying yourself with the book on the small table in front of you. Feeling foolish. As if you had spoiled something already.

"I didn't mean to." You said quietly, fixating on the page without being able to focus on any of the words.

"You worry too much." He commented, straightening up in his seat to reveal that all of his buttons were now undone.

As he stretched, he revealed a smooth chest and small ripples of flesh around his stomach. The muscles above taut and lean from years of grinding into his guitar.

You excused yourself to the bathroom. Brushing past him as you climbed out of your seat. Feeling dizzy as you walked down the aisle towards the illuminated rest room sign.

Splashing your face with cold water did little to dispel your nerves. Staring at yourself in the mirror, telling yourself to hold your reserve. He didn't deserve to hold your attention like this. How had he crawled beneath your skin so easily?

It wasn't exactly love at first sight. But it was something akin. The first time you had spoken. You felt it. The ache. Like a little electric burn. Because of him.

You sucked in your breath and uncoiled your braids. Ran careful fingers through your hair until the waves were smooth. Reminded yourself that it was just another job. And walked back to your seat with irrational confidence that you could endure the rest of the flight by his side.

Confidence which ebbed as you noted the glasses of rum and coke sitting on the tray tables. The froth still fizzing on the surface of the ice. He was chewing on his bottom lip absently until he noticed you. Immediately stiffening as you breezed back into your seat. Looking slightly different than when you had left.

"You've hijacked me, you do realise that, don't you?"

He picked up his glass and raised it as if to make a toast.

"I don't have a clue what you're talking about." He feigned. "I just thought you might be thirsty."

There was a devious glint in his eye. One which made you bend to his will. You picked up your glass and didn't really feel in the mood for rum so soon after waking up, but up in the air it didn't really feel like morning or evening. You were in limbo. The only place where you would ever agree to have a drink with him.

"This isn't a date." You confirmed. "This is not me agreeing to go for a drink with you. This is two colleagues having a drink on the same flight together."

It was precisely what he had wanted, packaged in another name. He knew it and so did you.

"Cheers." He said brazenly, tapping the rim of his glass against yours. "Here's to colleagues having a drink together."

You rolled your eyes. "We'll only ever be friends, Jake."

~

There was something oddly beautiful about silence. Music was the beating heart of the world. There was a song for every emotion ever felt by anyone anywhere. But when the music stopped, it was like the echo was felt universally. Bones and blood coming down from the euphoria. There was something about Jake that made it so hard to come down from.

You were standing behind the stage. The tones of the final note still playing out. Your eyes closed and your hands clutching a crisp white envelope tightly. The silence was deafening.

And then he was there. Peeling off his jacket. The sweat glistening in the stage lights. He handed his guitar to one of the stage technicians and noticed you waiting by the door. Not where you usually could be found.

"Buenas noches." You said, tilting your head as he approached.

"Evening." He replied, in English. "What do I owe the pleasure?"

You hadn't seen him all day. You'd been endlessly scrolling through potential activities for a day away from the stage. So rarely did these days come about, it had felt as if you had to find the most perfect venue. The tour manager had given you only three proviso's. Somewhere beautiful to film social media content. Somewhere all four of the band members could enjoy. Somewhere quintessentially Spanish.

"I think I've found the ideal place for your day off." You said, handing him the Vineyard confirmation.

He unfolded the paper and scanned the document. Looking up at you as if you were the most perfect creature to ever walk the earth. It dawned on you that you didn't have to be stood there in that moment, but you'd been so excited to tell him. Aching for a glimpse of him. Afraid that you wouldn't get one.

"A real Spanish Vineyard?"

You nodded. "And a tour of the distillery where they make brandy, too."

"This is perfect." He replied, eager to hug you but consciously aware that he was dripping in stage sweat. "And you'll be there, won't you?"

"Hardly be doing my job if I wasn't."

He lingered there with you. In the silence. The subtle reminder that you worked for him completely disregarded as he took the liberty of waiting until his brothers had walked past before shakily trailing his fingertips down the side of your cheek.

"Bello..." You heard him say, before he dropped his hand and you felt the absence of it so deeply you weren't certain how you could walk away from him and feel whole ever again.

You barely slept. Questioning yourself as you tossed and turned in the darkness. Irritated by the inner monologue that told you to re-think your outfit choice. It had to be light and airy for the warm sunshine. But not too revealing for the classy Vineyard aesthetic. You wanted Jake to look at you and think you pretty. But it couldn't be too obvious that you'd chosen the outfit just for him. Because you didn't want to choose the outfit just for him. You were consumed by the need for his attention. And hating yourself for it wasn't getting any easier.

The sleep deprivation hit you as you stepped out into the heat. Not yet noon and it was scorching down on your shoulders. The yellow sun dress which had been your fourth and final choice had tiny spaghetti straps that did little to protect your skin. Your white wide rimmed hat provided a little shade, but in the end you knew you'd walk away from the day with pink and red stripes.

You were already at the Vineyard when he arrived. Awaiting his arrival with the tour manager and social media assistant. Spilling out of the mini van, it appeared the sleepless night had been a friend to them all. Four sets of shades hid the dark circles. You couldn't help but smile ironically.

But they were like curious children as soon as the first taste hit. Jake, listening to the tour guide speaking a mixture of English and Spanish, turning to you for confirmation on anything he didn't understand. Swilling the wine in his taster glass, as he'd been instructed, endearingly involving himself even though you could sense that he was so tired.

You found some shade as the tour came to an end. Beneath a eucalyptus tree. Fanning your dress out as you sat on the little wooden bench under the arching branches. Watching Jake filming content with his brothers, happy to just be there. Relieved that your skin was not too sun kissed. The joviality of Jake and his brothers was a joy to behold. Their subtle differences in the way they reacted to each wine was comical and you found yourself drifting into a state of bliss you'd never found whilst on a tour job before.

He was wearing his shirt open at the chest again. Chains glistening in the afternoon sun as he came to sit with you. The entire group dispersing into their own little activities. He handed you a glass of red, noticing that it was the one you'd liked the most whilst on the tour.

"I feel as if I haven't seen you all day." He said, shuffling up the bench so that he was closer to you.

"I've been by your side the whole time." You replied bashfully.

He didn't seem to care, though. "I felt it yesterday too, when I actually didn't see you all day."

You took a languid sip, feeling the wine go down past the lump in your throat. His knee conspicuously close to yours. The fabric of your dress billowing in the breeze, threatening to lift and reveal your flesh. He noticed and pressed his leg against yours, the motion driving you irrevocably insane.

"What are you doing, Jake?" You asked, keeping your voice low.

You could smell the wine on his breath as he leaned in.

"How do you say... I want to rip your clothes off and fuck you until you can't stand up straight...in Spanish?"

The glass felt loose in your hand. As if his words had shaken your core and you couldn't ground yourself.

"Do you enjoy this?" You asked, more curtly than you'd anticipated. "Like it's not hard enough already?"

You'd hurt his feelings. All the happiness of the day seemed to drain from him as he moved his leg away. Another absence of his touch you felt so completely, it was as if you'd fade away entirely if he ever touched you again.

"Why do you constantly deny me?!"

He was livid. You could feel the bench move as he trembled.

"I could understand it if the feelings weren't reciprocated. I'd have asked you out, you'd have said no. Told me that you're not interested and yeah, it would have sucked and I'd have taken it on the chin. But I'm not stupid, I know you want me. And no amount of telling me that we're just friends is going to change that."

He downed his wine. You waited for him to get up and leave, but he remained at your side. A trembling mess as he waited for you to say something that might give him hope.

"You have no right to say that to me...no right!" You almost bellowed, feeling the rage prick at your fingertips. "When all I have done has been to preserve myself. And you. From hurt. And confusion."

"I'm not confused." He was quick to say, gripping the neck of his wine glass so tightly his knuckles turned white. "I know what I want."

"You think this is easy for me?"

You glanced across the courtyard towards the distillery where Jake's brother, Josh, was chatting with some of the staff. His eyes wandering back to you and Jake. His interest piqued as your voices began to rise above the din.

Jake's shoulders slumped. "It doesn't have to be this hard!"

You tried to smile reassuringly as you caught Josh's eye. He smiled back, returning reluctantly to his conversation. Suddenly everything began to turn into a surreal dream. Everything was perfect save for this one moment. You wanted nothing more than to turn back time, just by five minutes, and say or do something differently.

"I'm not about to complicate things for a quick fuck, Jake. I still have a job to do." You whispered, "I don't want to spend the next two weeks feeling like this..."

"Oh, what?" He replied, all the hurt you had caused him spilling out in his tone. "Like you've never fucked somebody on tour before?!"

There it was. All his hurt laid bare and all the hurt you had feared manifesting itself in the instant regret he felt as you turned to face him. All the times you'd rejected him kept in a little bottle in his heart, smashing there on the ground at your feet.

His head began to shake, his mouth open against apologies that wouldn't come out. His arms up in defence as if you were about to strike him. And all you could do was stare at him in disbelief.

"That's real nice, Jake." You managed, "Yeah. Ok, you want to play it that way? You're not wrong. I fucked a few guys on jobs in the past. Sure. They didn't care and neither did I. Why would it be awkward if you know you're never going to see them again? It meant nothing. What do you want me to say? That I'm terrified that this time it's different? That fucking you will never just be casual? That I know I'll fall in love with you the minute you kiss me? Huh? Is that what you want to hear? Stay the fuck away from me!"

~

You were still reeling as you stepped into the cool night air. Cardigan wrapped around you as the wind picked up. It was late but the hotel was situated in a sleepy little town ten minutes outside Barcelona. Lights were still twinkling in the distance. The faint sounds of people sitting outside bars and cafes sounding on the breeze. The gentle waves lapping at the shore in the pitch black.

You couldn't sleep again. Not plagued by irrelevant outfit choices this time, but instead you were horrified by yourself. By the way you had left things at the Vineyard. By how you had made your way back to the hotel without him. Not even looking at him when you'd seen him at dinner. You had felt his eyes burning into you, though. Losing your appetite entirely.

It felt as if a walk would clear your head. Bring you to some conclusion that would give you a reason to carry on. You'd been on the cusp of quitting and taking the next flight back to Nash before slipping on your sandals and cardigan and heading for the empty beach.

The sand was cool to the touch as you slinked down into it. The moon illuminating the curl of each small wave as it encroached onto the flat shoreline. The ever twinkling lights of the buildings which stretched across the coast were like stars upon the land. And you were lost in thought about Jake. About how you were going to make everything right.

So lost were you that you hadn't noticed that you were no longer alone. Catching them in the corner of your eye as they approached, as if they'd walked directly out of the black sea. A man, wearing nothing but a tattered white t-shirt and blue board shorts, waved to you inconsequentially.

You made the mistake of waving back. An impulse. Not an invitation to be disturbed. Your heart sank as they changed their direction, instead of carrying on across the shoreline, they diverted up the beach towards you. An errant smile on a bearded face greeted you as you tried to stand up.

"Oh, no. Please...stay where you are." He insisted, and you smiled because you thought he merely meant to pass you by.

When he didn't you felt yourself rooted to the spot. The darkness somehow darker than it had felt a moment ago.

"I was just leaving." You said as politely as you could.

He smelled like tobacco and body odour. The state of his feet alarmed you, as if he hadn't worn shoes for a very long time. He was sitting opposite you, as if you were friends enjoying an evening under the stars. But the hair on the back of your neck was poised. Your blood began to run cold.

"Oh, come on now." He replied, playfully with a hint of malice. "You're American, yes? I love America."

You had no desire to stay in his company. But something told you not to move. A primal instinct maybe?

"Uh, yeah." You replied, trying to keep your responses civil but brief.

He moved closer. His scent drifting in on the sea breeze. You recoiled. Feeling entirely foolish for stepping out of the hotel thinking you'd be safe.

"What's the matter?" He asked then, his voice low and gruff from years of smoking. "I just want to sit with you, alright?"

You uncrossed your legs. "I really...I was honestly just about to leave..."

He placed a dirty hand on your knee to prevent you from standing. You felt the fear grip you and choke you. Tears forming in your eyes as your lip began to tremble.

"Be a friendly girl and sit with me a while." He insisted. "I just want to talk to you."

He could see that you were afraid. Almost aroused by it. He moved to sit by you. Rubbing a calloused hand up your shin towards your knee. A broken scream was stuck in your throat. Warm tears streaming down your face.

"I have a boyfriend." You choked out, frozen into the sand as you willed it to swallow you.

"No boyfriend that I can see right now."

Something inside you snapped. The thought of Jake. Calling him your boyfriend. You didn't care about anything beyond him. Not your job nor the fears which you'd been running from. None of it made sense anymore. You could feel yourself begin to panic. Your chest moving against deep breaths. Your heart beating erratically.

You dared to push his hand away from you.

"I thought I told you to be friendly..." He hissed.

There wasn't a part of you that had any thoughts running through your mind as you heard the switch in his voice from playful malice to direct evil. You gathered the sand in your fist and threw it into his face, hearing him reel back and grunt in anger as you tried to run away.

Your sandals filled with sand though, preventing you from gaining any real speed. The scream which left you came from somewhere deep within, so blood curdling you weren't even sure it was you making the sound. It felt as if you dared not look back in case he was right behind you.

Three things seemed to happen all at once. The first was your body crushed to the ground. Sand in your mouth. The sensation that you were about to be buried alive. The second was the almost immediate release. Air rushing to your lungs as you swallowed the grit. And the third was Jake.

You stumbled onto your feet. Tears streaming down your face, spitting sand out as you felt yourself on the verge of vomiting. You blinked a few times, using your sleeve to wipe away the blurring tears.

All you could see was Jake. A pair of blue board shorts beneath him. His arm reeling back again and again and again as he rained down blow after blow.

"What the fuck did you do to her?!" He cried, cracking his fist against the bloodied face below him. "I will fucking kill you... I swear to god..."

You hadn't known Jake that long. But long enough to know he was loving and kind. That he chose to sit in corners and watch over being the centre of attention. He was funny and unserious in private with those he trusted best and stoic around people he didn't know. You'd never imagined he could be capable of such violence. When pushed, he was an animal.

"Jake!" You screamed. "Please, stop it!!!"

He didn't hear you at first. Picking up the guy by the scruff of his shirt, rattling his head before shoving it back into the sand. Landing a final, brutal kick to the stomach.

When Jake looked over at you, it was like he was seeing you for the first time. His chest heaving against catching his breath. His knuckles red and covered in blood. Not certain if it was Jake's blood, or the guy who was writhing around on the sand's. You reached for him.

But Jake didn't move. "Did he hurt you?"

You shook your head, feeling vulnerable in a way you'd never felt before.

"He started to but I ran. I'm so sorry, I was so stupid. I should have stayed in my room. I just needed to get some air...I can't believe this is happening...oh god, look at you..."

Jake noticed his hand. He shook off the blood and looked down at what he had done. The nose was broken and the eye sockets already swelling. Blood streaming from the guy's mouth. He spat a few teeth out and groaned in pain, clutching at his stomach as his white t-shirt turned red.

"No. You shouldn't have to stay in your room. You should be able to walk outside if you want to walk outside. It's fuckers like this who need to stay the fuck inside." He shoved his foot into the place where he had kicked, making sure to cause more pain. "Call the police."

"I can't." You sobbed. "They'll take you away, too."

He knew it as well as you did. They'd take him in. Question him. Stick an assault charge on him. You'd need a lawyer. You'd have to tell them what that disgusting guy had tried to do to you. You didn't want any of it. You just wanted to translate Vineyard tours, not police interrogations.

Jake leaned down and pressed his foot into the bloodied cheek.

"You better get the fuck out of here. I've got an entire security team in that hotel and they aren't little guys like me. They'll take you to fucking hell."

The adrenaline was still pumping as Jake stood back. Raking his bloody fist through his hair. Letting the guy stumble away, clutching his stomach as he spat blood onto the white sand. It wasn't until he was half way down the beach that Jake finally breathed. Letting out the most painful groan you'd ever heard. Your instincts telling you to protect him at all costs.

~

"What the fuck were doing out there?" You asked, cracking open the first aid kit in your hotel room. "Were you following me?"

He was sitting on the edge of the bed. Wincing as you knelt at his feet to wipe his hand with antiseptic. You held it within yours gently. Blowing cool air onto his grazed knuckles as you tried not to hurt him. You were still fighting back tears as you looked him in the eye.

"I didn't know you were out there." He said solemnly, tears of his own forming on the rim of his eye lashes. "I guess I had the same idea as you did. And then I heard you scream."

"What if you hadn't been there..."

You fell into his arms. Your entire body shaking as you sobbed. If you'd been afraid of loving him it felt so foolish now. You were consumed by love.

"I knew..." You tried to say, breathing hard against his bare chest.

You felt him cup your chin in his unspoiled hand. Forcing you to look at him.

"I knew from the start." You swallowed. "From the moment I saw you that I'd be fucked up forever. One look and I was gone. Washed away...in a landslide...because of your perfect face."

He fought against a smile.

"I knew you'd ruin me for anyone else." You said, "That's why I said no. All those times...no. How could I say yes to you? When saying yes meant I had to love you without fear."

He returned his fingertips to your cheek and you knew his touch was meant to heal you.

"Are you afraid now?" He asked quietly.

He was the kind of person that you knew you would end up falling in love with. You had perhaps always known it from the moment he was introduced to you. . There was a feeling which sat exactly right in your chest. You didn't want to ever say that you loved him for fear that he would leave. But you knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you didn't want to spend your time with anyone else.

"I was afraid that you'd break my heart." You sighed, the shadow of that fear dissipating. "But not anymore."

"I shouldn't have said what I said earlier at the Vineyard. I was wrong to call you out like that. It's none of my business who you've fucked in the past."

You appreciated his apology, but it had little place in the moment. You would never truly understand what he had sacrificed that night. He'd never lost his cool like that, ever. He was sorry for the things which he had said, but there was no apology needed. Not after what he had done for you.

"It doesn't matter." You shrugged, pressed an ice pack against his hand as you flipped the first aid kit shut. "All that matters now, is us."

He took that as his permission to kiss you. Leaning in to it slowly. Keeping your eyes focused on his. Feeling the heat of his breath before his lips reached you. And when they did, your eyes were closed and his lips were soft against yours. They parted slightly, allowing for his tongue to slip into your mouth.

You knelt up to lock your arms around his neck. Bodies pressed together heatedly against each other. You could taste the shared breath. Feel the thud of your combined hearts. Fumbling to be free of your cardigan.

Heat blossomed in your chest. Sparks igniting as Jake pulled you closer against his open shirt. Tentatively, for the first time, he uttered your name as his mouth momentarily parted from yours before returning to you as if he hadn't whispered it at all.

"Jake..." You responded, breathy and almost too shrouded in whisper to hear.

But he did hear you. Gripping your hips tighter as he deepened the kiss. Pulling you up onto his body as he leaned back onto the bed, your legs parted on either side of his waist. Weeks of tension flowing out of both of you.

But nothing happened that night. The evening had caused an exhaustion which both of you shared as you slipped into the curve of his arm. Kissing him in small increments, stopping only to appreciate his face in the moon light which flooded in from the window. Caressing his bare chest, playing with his chains as he pressed his lips against your forehead. Your leg draped casually over his, tangled in each other for the first time.

There was no need for anything else. Loving him with abandon for all the accompanying things you'd told yourself. All the reasons you'd given yourself not to enter into this with him. Wishing that he had been your first love. So that you could have loved him sooner, instead of looking for malice in his pure intentions. Looking for ways to never have to give yourself to him. With Jake as your first love, you would have only known love to be like velvet.

But he wasn't. He was going to be your last love, you knew you would die to make that happen.

~

Jake kept his busted hand bandaged up the next day. Telling anyone who cared to ask that he had dropped his guitar case and fucked up his knuckles trying to save it. It was an unlikely story, but nobody dared to question it. Least of all the security team that would have been heavily judged for not being there to break up a fight.

You were relieved to move on. Telling yourself that it wasn't your fault, that you'd done nothing wrong. And yet, a voice echoed in the back of your mind screaming blame for what Jake had been forced to do.

Even as you boarded the plane to leave the country, it was still playing on a loop in the back of your mind. That rough, dirty hand moving up your leg. The blood. The sand in your mouth. The way he had kissed you that night afterwards...

"Do you mind if I sit here?" He asked, looking down at you with a wicked grin.

The flight from Spain to England was only a few short hours. Nothing which required sleep or tentative dream induced embraces. You felt yourself blush as he slipped into the seat beside you. Feeling entirely different. Grateful for the distraction from your thoughts.

"Maybe we should have an impromptu lesson this time." You suggested, "I haven't heard you use your words at all this week."

Jake pulled off his shades, slipping them into his breast pocket as he kicked off his shoes and offered you his hand to hold as the plane took off.

"If I tell you that asking for lessons was a ploy to get closer to you and nothing else, would you be mad?" He asked, deadly serious, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb.

Everything he had done before the previous night meant little. You didn't care.

"Crees que eres tan listo." You replied, "But truthfully, I knew you had no intention of ever learning any of it."

He would have pulled you into one of those kisses. The urge was there on his lips as he licked them, eyes focusing in on yours.

"Besides, we're in England for the next three days. You're going to have a lot of free time." He joked, knowing that you'd have to be preparing to liaise with the concert venue and hotel in Germany for the week ahead. "What's the plan to fill it all?"

It felt like the entire time you'd known him had been foreplay. Leading up to this. A game of cat and mouse that you'd secretly wanted to end with all the sex you'd imagined having with him. Because you had imagined having sex with him.

"Maybe you could help me with that." You giggled, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks.

He stared at you for a moment. Trying to comprehend the words he thought he'd heard you say. He wasn't used to it. He expected you to rebuff him again. Even after spending the night wrapped in his arms, listening to his chest rise and fall against your cheek.

"Are you fucking serious?" He asked, gripping your hand more tightly.

You leaned in and placed your lips flush to his ear.

"Quiero arrancarte la ropa y follarte hasta que no puedas pararte derecho..." You whispered.

You felt his body close, his hand travel up your arm. Pulling you in. You let him. His brothers, Josh and Sam were sitting in the seats in front. And behind there was Danny, surrounded by people who would never know the secret you shared. Their eyes busy with anything but what the two of you were doing.

"I beg you, tell me what you just said."

You kissed him. Without shame. Without care if anyone noticed.

"I want to rip your clothes off and fuck you until you can't stand up straight..."

~

Throwing your luggage down, you tumbled into the bathroom. The anticipation was overwhelming. He'd been whispering in your ear the entire flight. All the things he was going to do to you. All the things he had imagined every single time you'd rejected him. The last thing he had said to you as you pulled up outside the hotel, weary and travel worn was a twenty minute warning that once you'd checked in and got to your room he was coming after you.

You grabbed your toiletries and began pulling your brush through your hair. Running the faucet until the water ran warm, rinsing the airport smell off your face. Shedding your clothes until you were down to your underwear, furiously brushing your teeth as you ran an electric razor up your leg.

Pulling open the elastic waist band of your panties, you peered down into the pubic hair you hadn't bothered to tidy up. Sighing at your own lack of foresight. Pushing your panties down to your ankles as you ran the shaver across your mound, wondering if he would care or even notice.

You slipped on your little white night robe over your underwear. Certain he would want you in a state of undress as he arrived. Perhaps expecting it. You regarded yourself in the mirror as you recalled his words.

"I'm going to taste that sweet pussy...You don't know how many times I've imagined what you taste like..."

You tightened the belt of your robe, feeling the length of silk material between your fingers as you pulled on it.

"You've pissed me off so much lately, I'm going to fuck that right out of you..."

Catching yourself breathing heavily, you placed the flat of your hand to the centre of your cleavage. Pressing down to feel your own heart beat.

"You know I would beat any man who tried to hurt you...you know that, don't you? Nobody's ever going to touch you again. Only me..."

Something stirred in that space between your chest and stomach. Something you had no name for. You weren't afraid when you remembered how he had lost his mind over the thought of you getting hurt. You were turned on.

"I'm getting hard right now thinking about getting to the hotel... You've got twenty minutes until I knock on your door..."

When you'd thought of the kind of lover he might be, you'd been inclined to imagine him soft and thoughtful. But there was something in those words that had been savage and downright filthy. He'd taken delight in watching you squirm in your seat, looking around to make sure nobody was listening.

Kissing you until you giggled. His lips making moist trails down your neck. Not leaving you alone for a moment, not even when people walked past your seats and witnessed exactly what he was doing to you. You'd be the talk of the tour, now.

The soft knock broke your reverie. You flinched, realising you'd been standing in front of the mirror lost in thought. Feeling as if your life was going to change the moment you opened the door. You sprayed some perfume into the air and walked through it as you headed out of the bathroom.

You only opened the door a notch before he slipped through the gap. Hands creeping down your back, gripping your ass cheeks tightly as he pulled them apart and pressed you against the hotel room wall. His mouth was on yours before speaking. Lapping his tongue into your mouth, feeling it brush against yours in a kiss that was the most desperate you'd ever felt him be.

"Fuck!" He groaned, "I can't believe I finally get to do this with you."

He put you down on the bed. Releasing you so that you fell onto the sheets and pillows, the sweetest laughter sounding out from the pit of your stomach.

Ripping open his shirt, he slipped it off his shoulders and began fighting to ease his belt. You watched curiously. Opening your robe to reveal the white bra and panties beneath.

All the laughter gone as you eyed his hard cock. Sitting there beneath his boxers, large and imposing. He gripped it in his hand. moving the erection up a little so that the tip peeked out from his waist band.

"How bad do you want it?" He asked, taking one of your ankles in his free hand and pulling you effortlessly down the bed.

You were under some sort of spell. There was no other explanation for how you found the confidence to respond. You would have fallen into embarrassment otherwise. Afraid to be vocal about what you wanted. Jake liked to talk, and talking was your gift. It made sense to you, more than ever, to use your words.

"I want you so bad, Jake. I can't stand it..."

He nodded, casting his gaze down the length of your body.

"Fuck, you're sweet. You're so god damn sweet, I just want to sink my teeth into every inch of you."

You pointed your toes, lifting your leg up to run the length of his torso. When you ran it back down, you lingered at his waist band. Hooking your toe beneath it, pulling it down just a little further so that his cock sprang free.

"Pain..." You gasped under your breath.

His hand curled around the hard base. "I won't fuck you sore, I'll make sure you're wet enough first."

You could feel the pressure building in your centre. You slipped your hand down beneath your panties and felt the wetness increase. You were already enough for him to slip inside of.

You were about to pull your hand out when he shook his head.

"No. Keep it there." He instructed, making shallow breaths as he began to move his hand up and down his own cock. "Slip your panties to the side, just a little bit. I want to see your lips down there..."

Yours were like little pink ribbons. Your clit was swollen and ready at the peak, the tiny head budding out from beneath the hood as you pulled it back with the flat of your fingers. Keeping your eyes on him the entire time. Allowing the sight of him at the foot of the bed to spur you on.

His head was flushed pink. White beads of pre-cum leaking out onto his fingers as he squeezed at the end. A throbbing vein pulsated down the centre of the shaft, his eyes half closed as he watched you plane your fingers down the slit, opening up your entrance for him to see.

"Take everything off." He ordered, the faded tan lines on his chest from the Vineyard making you smile as he kicked off his boxers.

Jake knelt onto the edge of the bed as you unhooked your bra. Your breasts spilling out of the white lace, round and firm with two hard buds in the centre of rippled goose flesh as you felt a cold shiver down your spine. Everything felt as if it were happening in a dream.

"These eyes stay on me while I'm inside you." He said, a hand suddenly reaching up for your jaw, tilting your face upward as he drank you in. "You understand me?"

You nod pitifully. Knowing his strength. Knowing there was aggression simmering beneath his cool exterior. Knowing you would do anything to placate him. Even though it made your pussy throb to think of how masterful he could be when cornered.

He inched two fingers into his mouth. A trail of saliva hanging down from his lip as he brought them to your needy cunt. You were a trembling mess as he hooked them inside you, watching your face for that blissful relief.

"Tell me how that feels."

You couldn't speak for a moment. Taking in the sensation of him driving into you past his knuckles. His grazed hand came to rest on the bed beside your head, his hair and the chains around his neck reaching down into the space where he hovered above.

"So fucking good." You tried to say, your entire body shaking as he began to pound into you harder.

He grinned that confidence, the one he liked to smirk when he knew that he was doing something right. You'd seen it on his lips before. His pressure was delicious. Using hot force and a curl of his fingers to press down on that sweet spot inside.

You almost felt bereft when he pulled his fingers out completely, returning them to his mouth where he padded them across his tongue. Tasting you. Just the way he had said he would.

"Put your mouth on it." You told him, wondering if you were a part of this dominance play or if you'd stepped out of line.

"You really are a filthy little thing, aren't you?" His head bowed, he slid down your torso and down through the valley of your navel. "Fuck...if this isn't so worth the wait..."

You looked down past the curve of your breasts. To where his wild hair was splayed across your open thighs. His back arched as he opened his mouth. Taking in a full slick lick of your pussy lips that made you moan so loud you couldn't hold back. His lips pursed around your clit, sucking on it and lapping his tongue against the swollen bud.

"Se siente tan jodidamente bien..." You hissed through gritted teeth, trying to keep a grip on the bed sheets.

You felt the vibration of his moan against your clit. Listening to you speak like that, it made him drive his tongue further into your entrance. You felt the softness of it at the opening of your walls. Hearing him swallow your wetness, you tangled your hands into his hair and swept it into your fist.

You took a deep breath and pushed him deeper into your cunt. Hips bucking, pressure mounting in your core. You almost fucked his mouth yourself until he gripped your hips steady and reminded you who was in control.

"Hold still!" He called up, raising his head with your juice dripping from his bottom lip.

You were brought to stillness by his firm grip. His eyes locked on yours as he returned his mouth to you. His nose pressed flush against your clit as he buried his head. You ached to move. Arch your back. Grind your hips. Anything to release the mounting tension.

"I mean it Jake, I'm so fucking close..." You warned him.

You trembled and twitched against his tongue as he slowly brought it to rest at your mound. The sound of his name falling like gentle rain was like music to his ears. Your orgasm belonged to him. He looked up at you and viciously slammed his fingers back inside.

"Well, come on then." He urged. "Give it to me if you want to so badly."

You tossed your head back. He ravaged and ruined you. Pounding his fingers into your cunt violently as he returned to sucking on your clit, harder. The sound was like a wet popping as his fist pressed against your slipper lips. The moans you couldn't hold back shrieking out of you as he deviously refused to stop.

"That's it, baby." You heard him say below the wet pounding and your own vocals, "Show me what that pussy can do."

He watched you. Every breath. Ever shudder. He absorbed it all. Appreciating each and revelling in it all. You were his muse, his morning song. And as you came undone at the tip of his fingers and tongue, he felt your orgasm bloom into his mouth.

"Oh god..." He swallowed hard. "I fucking need it...."

You were still on the fringes of your climax as he pulled you up. Every point in your body a mess of tingles. You met his mouth again and tasted yourself there on his lips.

"Fuck me, Jake."

Positioning you on the pillows, he made you lean back against the head board. Crawling up to meet you, ensuring your eyes never left his.

"Ask me again."

You feel his hard erection pressed against your pussy lips and inner thigh.

"I want you to fuck me so good, Jake."

He lowered his head, coming to rest at your breasts. Scanning them with his tongue, sucking on your nipple as you try to keep yourself from melting into the bed sheets.

"Beg me." He said finally, sinking his teeth into your flesh.

All the words you could think of in any language you had ever known seemed to flee from you. There was only one that remained.

"Please..."

It wasn't enough. "Beg harder."

You sank your fingernails into his back. "Fuck me! Please, I want you to... punish me...for all the times I told you no... make me repent for it... I beg you."

He moved to bring himself into you. Slapping his thick, girthy cock against your still sensitive slit. Before you could scream, he had you pressed against the head board and his cock was buried so deeply inside you it took your breath away.

God, he felt so good. Like your walls had never welcomed such a perfect feeling. He filled you so good, just on the cusp of pain but you were wet enough to handle it. He'd promised you wouldn't be sore afterwards, and you believed him.

"Shit, you feel so..." He faltered, "Fuck, I can't explain it."

His mouth was at your throat. Sticky fingers rested against your wind pipe, not squeezing but simply holding you in place as he rocked into you.

It had all been too much. Too much waiting, too much anticipation.

"Use your words, Jakey, come on..." You closed your legs around his waist and felt him shudder as he thrusted.

He wants as much contact with you as possible. To keep your eyes locked with his. But to also feel your breasts bouncing against his bare chest. He wants to rub your clit as he shoves his cock into you so deep he wants to watch your pussy eat it up until it disappears inside you. He wants all of it whilst listening to you speak.

"Shut up." He managed, sweat dripping off his brow. "Just let me come inside you..."

You might have been offended, but you could tell the hold you had on him had him all speechless. You making him talk was taking him away from all his other senses. Which made you smile because Jake loved nothing more than being vocal.

"Why don't you make me?" You teased. "Fucking me with your big cock like that? You want me to shut up? Fucking come in me..."

As if he could read your mind, he abruptly picked up speed and grunted vividly into the curve of your neck. Slamming into you with his entire body. The sound of his skin slapping against yours is all that echoes in your ears. Muffling out the sound of Jake's tension, his panting as he let's go into your waiting pussy. Convulsing on top of you as you grip him tightly.

His hands come underneath you, kneading your ass cheeks as he slows down. Breathing hard against your chest.

"I had no idea you could fuck like that." You breathed, "You're a dark horse, Jake Kiszka."

He laughed and returned to you for gentle kisses that reminded you he was still the sweet one who had sat with you as you reached out for him in your sleep.

"I protect my woman and I fuck her good." He replied, with a hint of playfulness as he moved apart from you to slump at your side.

You watched his cock soften as he laid there. His seed still sitting at your entrance.

"Oh I'm your woman, am I?" You jested back.

He nodded, but didn't say anything. Before too long he was snoring quietly. Beautifully naked as he was sprawled out on your hotel room bed.

You slowly inched away, heading to the bathroom to clean yourself up while he slept. Feeling a little sore, after all.

.

@caprisunsister @thewritingbeforesunrise @takenbythemadness @katuschka @its-interesting-van-kleep @lvnterninthenight @writingcold @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @edgingthedarkness @velveteencatch @lyndz2names @nina-23-45 @itsafullmoon y @char289 @dancingcarbon @gvfpal @violetstarcatcher @wetkleenex-gvf @jazzyfigz @gvfmarge @ignite-my-fire

[outro-jo]

skz with autistic partners

pairing: stray kids members x reader

type: scenario

summary: how the skz members help their autistic partners

warning: mentions overstimulation, touch in han’s, food, non speaking periods, stimming

a/n: happy autism awareness/acceptance month! i am fully aware of my autism and have come to accept it 🙃 yes, i am autistic and some of these scenarios i have experienced myself. also they’re all probably good at a lot of these but i just stuck to like one (twoish for hannie) per… thing. idk i can’t think. i wrote skz first bc they felt the safest when it came to being autistic/nd but lmk if y’all want any other groups

masterlist | info

———————————

chan- chris makes a big mistake every few months by showing you a new song he’s working on and it triggers your auditory stim. he’ll have to email you the file so you can listen to it on repeat until the next one is finished. all it takes is a look and he sighs knowing he has to send you the file right away. 

lee know- the best at respecting you during your non speaking periods. he finds all kinds of different ways to communicate without you having to speak. it’s usually by text but sometimes he’ll use his hands for opinions and even learn a little sign language. he’s also careful not to talk too much or be too loud bc he knows these times are usually bc you’re overstimulated.

changbin- always keeps a backup pair of headphones in his bag. you’re usually pretty good about charging your headphones before going anywhere but just in case, he’s got a pair on standby.

hyunjin- super careful with his art. one time he drew something that slightly resembled holes and you were so triggered you screamed off and on for like an hour. 

han- great at deep pressure. he always checks before hugging or touching you but if you’re feeling overstimulated and need a tight hug, jisung’s your man. also really great at body doubling so you can get some work done.

felix- truly the best when it comes to safe foods. he knows if it’s not safe, you don’t eat and he wants to make sure you always eat. good at making excuses for other people when you’re out so you can eat your safe foods and not feel judged. always has some kind of safe snack in his bag. 

seungmin- best listener. he’ll ask you one or two questions about your special interests and let’s you talk as much as you want. even if he has absolutely no interest in the topic, he still just likes for you to talk about it as much as you want. also loves when you just start talking about it randomly. 

i.n- BEST PEBBLER!!! not only does he love when you give him little random gifts but he’s really the best at giving gifts. he always finds the coolest rocks it’s truly insane. he keeps his little collection of trinkets you give him lined up on his dresser (it’s lined up perfectly and it’s so satisfying). if you’re into bugs he also sends you pics of the bugs he finds.

[imagininghim]

A very broken Hallelujah

A/N: I've recently been listening to the song Hallelujah and I can't get this imagine out of my head, I hope you enjoy!

There is not enough Lucifer imagines and smut out there so please request away, or write some because your girl is in desperate need!

Blurb: You're on a hunt for a demon with the Winchesters, Castiel and a certain little devil at a lounge. The boys ask you to pose as a lounge singer to attract the attention of the demon but little do you know, that's not the only attention you catch.

Pairing: Lucifer x Female!Reader

Trigger warnings: not a one, just some sweet and fluffy devil loving.

"You want me to do what?" I questioned as I stared blankly at the two boys from the backseat of the impala.

"You know, just sing a song or two while Sam and I hunt for the black eyed bastard." Dean said with a smile. "It won't be that bad, I've heard you sing in the shower before. You're great!" Before I could argue Sam spoke up.

"What Dean is trying to say is, we just need you to distract the crowd while we search for him, as soon as we find him, we'll signal for you and we can leave." Sam said with hope in his voice.

"Why can't we just send Lucifer to find the demon, I'm sure he already knows where he is." I said sending a glance across the seat at the former archangel.

"We can't trust him enough to actually help, which is why Cas is going to sit in the crowd with him and keep an eye on you and him while we hunt." Sam responded simply, I let out a sigh knowing there was no way I was gonna win this argument.

"Fine, but you both owe me." I said with a huff.

"Deal."

We drove the rest of the way to the lounge in silence, every now and then I could feel a set of eyes trailing over me, I looked over at Cas who was sitting next to me, focusing on the road ahead and then at Lucifer who was simply staring out the window. I shrugged it off, thinking it was a coincidence and turned back to the window.

Once we arrived, we all shuffled out of the car. Sam and Dean, came prepared already dressed in suits while Cas and Lucifer wore their normal attire.

"(Y/N), I packed you a bag with a dress and some heels." Sam began, handing me over the duffel bag. "They have a dressing room you can get ready in, you'll be on in fifteen minutes, so you better get going." I nodded before sending a glare at Dean and making my way into the lounge.

After I got dressed and freshened up, the makeup I had already been wearing, I heard the stage manger call my name. Taking in a deep breath, I made my up the stairs and onto the stage.

As I over looked the crowd, I locked eyes with a pair of light blue ones. For a moment, it looked like they flashed red but I just shrugged it off as being nothing.

Walking to the mic, silence fell amongst the crowd as a piano began with a familiar tune. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes, beginning to sing.

"Now I've heard there was a secret chord, that David played, and it pleased the Lord, but you don't really care for music, do you? It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth, the minor falls, the major lifts, the baffled king composing Hallelujah" I reopened my eyes to only find them staring back into Lucifer's. I continued to stare as I sung, feeling as if it was just the two of us in the room.

"Your faith was strong but you needed proof, you saw her bathing on the roof, her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you, she tied you to a kitchen chair, she broke your throne, and she cut your hair, and from your lips she drew the Hallelujah." As the song continued, Lucifer and I never once broke eye contact, he began leaning forward and placing his elbows as I sang. Looking as if he was locked into some sort of trance.

"Maybe I have been here before, I know this room I, I've walked this floor, I used to live alone before I knew you, I've seen your flag on the marble arch, love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah." I closed my eyes as the song went on as an image appeared in my thoughts.

It was all pitch black but the faint sound of the piano played on, I looked around as I heard footsteps approaching.

"Care to dance." I turned around to see Lucifer standing in an all black suit, with his hand held out to me. I glanced his hand and then back at his eyes, which were now illuminating a bright red. I placed my hand in his and nodded. Taking ahold of me, he slid his hand around my waist and pulled me close.

"There was a time you let me know, what's real and going on below, but now you never show it to me, do you? And remember when I moved in you? The holy dark was moving, too, and every breath we drew was Hallelujah"

We continued to dance, holding on to one another while staring deeply into each other's eyes. It wasn't until I heard what sounded like the flapping of wings, that I took notice. Outstretched behind Lucifer was his wings, they were black and battered but they were still breathtaking.

"Can I touch them?" I questioned as I stopped dancing, and continued to stare in awe of his wings.

"You can see them?" Lucifer questioned in slight shock.

"Yes and they're beautiful." I reached out my hand before glancing at him, he nodded in response and ran my fingers through the soft silkiness of his feathers, he let out a soft moan as I continued.

"You know, they say only your soulmate can see your wings. The person you're destined to be with." Lucifer said softly as I turned to look at him.

"Maybe there's a god above, and all I ever learned from love, was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you, and it's not a cry you can hear at night, it's not somebody who's seen the light, it's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah." The song finished up, and I reopened my eyes as the crowd erupted in clapping and cheering. Breaking the eye contact from Lucifer, I noticed Sam signalling me that they had finished the hunt. I took a small bow and made my way off the stage.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in once I reached the dressing room, I glanced up in the mirror to see Lucifer standing behind me.

"You sang beautifully." He said simply. I turned around to only take in notice of his wings in person.

"Yo-your wings." I stuttered dumbfounded that I could actually see them.

"It's you, (Y/N)." He began coming towards me, cupping my cheek in his hand.

"It's always been you."

[nerdgasmgate]

The Waxing of a Red Moon: Introduction

Weeks had turned into long months. It seemed like an endless cycle of marching, fighting and failing to sleep. And like the shadow curse before them, rumor of their exploits began to spread throughout all of Faerȗn. A band of adventurers led by a Druid of Tiefling descent. A band that would become known as the Red Moon.  

Those who worshiped at the feet of the Absolute, soon felt a trickle of fear creeping in. How had a once indomitable force been broken by a mere druidic woman? How had a chip been cut into the chaotic resonance of the Absolute? These were the kinds of questions that flitted through the mind of Ketheric Thorm as the undying light within his eyes faded into nothingness. 

…………………………………………

  Though the defeat of the General was a heavy blow to the enemy, no feast or song were had. The shadowlands around Moonrise Towers had been stained red. The loss of life had been great. Any spare rooms within the tower were quickly converted into infirmaries and barracks. An inventory of food and supplies was counted and a map of their next journey was laid before all. 

And it wasn’t until the sun began to rise above the fog, dawning a new day, that the band were able to lay their heads to rest. Camp was quiet, save for the sound of a dying fire. Karlach had fallen asleep within seconds of collapsing in her tent. She slept so deeply that she failed to notice that Scratch had snuck in behind her, nestling himself into a little ball at the end of her feet. 

Shadowheart had finished the quickest of prayers just as the sun rose. The light fading in her tent as she clasped it closed. Lae’zel had drunk herself to sleep, an empty pint still in her hand as she snored away, dreaming of red-backed Dragons. Both Wyll and Gale had resigned to their tents, books and distant gaze in hand. 

It was Astarion and Rhaenyra who sat nearest the fire, eyes fixed on the fading embers. After a moment, Astarion broke the silence between them. 

“Bastard got what he deserved,” he muttered. “Don’t doubt yourself.” a cool hand reached for Rhaenyra’s, giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

“I know.” she finally replied, exhaling. 

Leaning over, Astarion placed a gentle kiss on her temple. “You need rest. Don’t linger long.” The vampire rose to his feet, giving her a final glance before retiring to his own bed. 

Rhaenyra waited until Astarion disappeared before rising and heading towards the woods. Around her, the ash began to fade from the trees. Roots thrummed beneath her, like a still beating heart stirring once again. Stopping among a crowd of Birchwood, the druid removed her boots and knelt down, palms spread across the heating ground. 

Just as she started to take a deep, cleansing breath, a light snapping jolted her to attention. Turning abruptly, ready to face whatever goblin or hellbeast remained, Rhaenyra saw a man. 

Halsin. 

Exhaling with relief, she almost laughed at her own fright. 

“Apologies, I wasn’t aware that you were out here.” although that wasn’t entirely true. Upon the wind, he had picked up her familiar, sweet scent. “They drew you in as well, I see.” he stated, gesturing among the trees. 

“Yes, I could feel them all the way from camp.” she watched as Halsin also removed his boots and knelt down beside her. But she seemed suddenly distracted. Not by the humming around them or by Halsin's appearance, but the memory he triggered.  

Ketheric had landed a near fatal blow to her during their final battle. She remembers hearing Astarion shout after her, anger flaring in his crimson eyes as he turned to face Myrkuls chosen, but she also remembers Halsin. A familiar, feathered frame towering over her, shielding her from further harm. She remembered another shout, one that came just after Astarions. 

“Rhaenyra!” there had been panic in his voice that she hadn’t heard before. A panic that caused her cheeks to flush as she remembered the echoing of her name. 

“Rhaenyra?” Halsin lightly touched her shoulder, concern sprawled across his brow as he pulled her from her thoughts. She blinked a moment before turning to meet his hazel eyes. “Are you alright? You seemed…elsewhere.”

“I never thanked you.” she finally said. “I know it was you who carried me from that pit.” 

Rhaenyra had faded in and out of consciousness. Her eyes flickering over glimpses of the wood elf, his armor smelling of iron and salt, his skin almost hot to the touch. 

Save her. Those were the final words she heard before waking up back at camp. 

Halsin seemed taken aback by her comment. He hadn’t realized she’d remembered any of it. Had she also heard the pounding in his chest as she laid against it? Or sensed the fear he carried as he tended to her. A gentle smile then crossed his lips as he sat back on his heels, his hand falling from her shoulder. 

“No thanks is needed. I would have done so for any of us. I’m just happy the Oak Father brought you back to us.” he stated plainly, turning his eyes from her. 

“Oh,” she cleared her throat. “Of course, I know you would. We’re lucky to have you fighting at our side.”

With a change of subject, Halsin looked to the trees. “I’m assuming you came to ground yourself?” 

She nodded, her attention also turning to the wood around them. “I can only spend so much time in stone towers before I have to get away.” Rhaenyra then sighed. “Just one of the many reasons I’m not looking forward to Baldur’s Gate. Cities and I don’t tend to get along.” 

Halsin chuckled softly, understanding exactly how she felt. “I’m sure a creature such as yourself could thrive in any environment, but I get it. I don’t believe I’ve ever spent more than a night or two locked within a city's walls.”

“Perhaps we can fly beyond the walls on occasion. Stretch our wings.” Rhaenyra smiled at the thought. Already her mind pictured the moonlight reflecting from raven backs as they soared above Baldur Gate’s steel and iron mass. 

“I’d like that.” Halsin smiled. I’d like that and more, he thought. But the scent of Astarion always lingered on her body. And Halsin was not the kind to cross boundaries. No matter how hard they may have been to resist. 

Rhaenyra glanced at the druid, only to find him already gazing upon her. I see the way he looks at you, Astarions voice echoed in her mind. I know what hunger looks like. 

These words had only been spoken about a week prior. The band had been sitting around camp, talking of the day's events. As the night progressed, more ale and wine had been passed. It was their last joyful night before they began taking the tower. 

Astarion had caught the bear druid longing for something other than food and drink on several occasions. And it seemed the more Halsin drank, the more sloppy his attempted secrecy became. It made the vampire laugh.

But Astarion could also hear the race of Rhaenyra’s pulse at the sight of Halsin. It was the same, breath catching race he heard when she whispered his name. And who was he to deny her all the pleasure’s of the world? 

“You could partake, you know.” Astarion had offered. “Be a shame not to really.”    

Rhaenyra had given thought to it, but what if she wanted to do more than just partake? What she felt for Halsin was more than a calling of flesh. What if she laid with him but could not leave? Or what if Astarion was wrong. Perhaps Halsin only saw her as a companion. No different than Wyll or Lae’zel. 

Yet there she sat, eyes caught by the warmth of Halsin’s. The two druids savoring the thrum of the forest beneath them. Each exhausted and stained from the day's battles. Each longing for something that seemed so far from reach.

[an0ma1y-d0ma1y]

this fucking prick won’t let me leave I’ve been stuck for hours in their web if anyone hears me please send he-

SPIDER-ACID HCS‼️ (normal and tk ones)

-Alright let’s start with some angst hcs to get it outta the way

-After Elijah’s best friend (or his drummer) died, he couldn’t stand to hear the sound of drums.

-Because of this, when the band eventually got a replacement drummer he felt a strange hatred towards them and at the end of only the first song he smashed his guitar and left.

-When he was first made a member of the spiderverse, when he heard that Gwen was a drummer from Hobie then he wanted to stay away from her to not trigger the feeling of grief again, but at the same time felt he needed to face his grief.

-Alright enough sad ones let’s go

-Since Elijah knows Spanish, he often has full conversations with Miguel in Spanish

-But at the same time whenever he talks shit about someone in Spanish Miguel’s able to call him out on it

-lost hard candy privileges after Miguel witnessed him chewing a jolly rancher

-The spiderteens will sometimes go into a dark closet and will have a ‘disco’ with Elijah’s glowing suit

-Even if Elijah has control over what color his suit is, his emotions can sometimes trigger a specific color. Strong emotions like happiness, shock, anger, or sadness.

-He claims he completely fried his vocal cords from his band career but at the same time is probably just using it to excuse his teenage voice cracks

-Dropped out of high school in his sophomore year to focus on music

-The MJ in his universe was his bassist, Michelle James. He had a crush on her ever since Fletcher (his drummer) introduced him to her.

-Ight…. tickle hcs

-Elijah was always one for physical affection, and that includes tickling

-HUGE switch. Can easily wreck someone but at the same time can easily be wrecked

-Is a master of disguise and loves to surprise attack people to see their funny reaction

-His favorite move is to crawl his fingers up someone’s back like a spider until he suddenly latches onto the back of their neck and squeezes to hear them squeal, I didn’t make this it’s just common sense

-Learned from Miguel about the amount of power he has with his fangs and how he can dispute nibbles and has been a little bastard about it ever since

-Now don’t think that he’s gonna get away with being a ler so much

-His worst spots are definitely his shoulder blades, tummy, hips, and sides

-Strangely enough, his melt spot are the insides of his arms. Just run your fingers down them and he’ll evaporate into a giggling puddle

-Starts off with a very giggly and wheezy laugh but will turn into high pitched cackles if you manage to get him good enough

-AND DONT EVEN THINK FOR A SECOND HES ABLE TO HANDLE RASPBERRIES, NIBBLES, AND KISSES NO SIR

-He can’t handle the taste of his own medicine and will be squealing and shrieking for a break

-He’s able to hold back his laughter when tickled by most people, but someone like Jessica Drew or Miguel then he’s done for

-Often gets tickled whenever he’s being a little shit or just showing them that teenage attitude

@parker-fluff I DONT WANNA KEEP BOTHERING YOU WITH THIS DUMBASS I SWEAR THISLL BE LIKE THE SECOND TO LAST POST I MAKE ABOUT HIM

[gurokichi]

I could never become bored of you, not that easily, at least! You are my Bon, you can't get rid of me that easily <3

Yeah, I got 2 kitties! Both of them are boys, and their names are Pickle and Bean! Maybe one day you'll get to see pictures of them! I also have a dog, snails, isopod, beetles, chickens, and hermit crabs! Got a bit of a zoo around here!

I'll definitely watch some of your suggestions, and I will be sure to tell you my thoughts! Just another excuse to talk to you!

I will hopefully be posting on my blog again soon, and I am so excited to now that I know you will be watching my blog (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

I mainly read fiction, distopian, and horror/gore. But also, like when books have lgbt+ characters, and have read a few Manga! I just borrowed a book from a friend called "The Corpse Queen" by Heather M. Herrman, I strongly suggest it, I've also just started reading a GL Manga series called "Whisper Me a Love Song" and so far have been really enjoying it!!! I like plants in many ways, I learn about plants, I grow both indoor and outdoor plants, and I have a fascination with all living or once living things,,, and they happen to fit in that category too!!! I don't think I could pick just one flower as my favorite, but I do enjoy Asters a lot! Bleeding hearts? awe, it makes sense that a sweetie like you would love a poisonous flower!

What video games do you like to play? I'd love to hear all about your current favorite game! What part of history do you like so much? Oh and you collect things too! I would love to hear all about your little hoards 💕

-Dolly

I’M YOUR BON?? ASJHFSHBHKHGSGHFHJKSHLJS (＞＜)

Okay. Anyways. Sorry, got a lil excited there... I’m your Bon, and you’re my Doll!! All mine!!! I’m glad to hear that you wouldn’t get bored and leave. I’d do anything to make sure my precious doll stays with me!

AWH, they sound so darling. You have so many… how do you keep up with all of them??That’s really cool, though! You definitely have some uncommon pets.

I’m excited to hear your thoughts (๑>◡<๑)

I will definitely be watching my doll’s blog! How could I not? Anyone would find it hard to take their eyes off you. Besides, I’d love to see more of your posts when you decide to go back to it.

Ah, those are all good genres! Thank you for the recommendation, and I’ll check out the manga you mentioned later. Asters are gorgeous; my doll has great taste in flowers!!

I usually prefer games with long stories. I like RPGs and visual novels the most! I find pixel art really nice to look at, so a lot of my favorite games feature that. I’ve been playing through a farming sim called Fields of Mistria lately; it’s been really enjoyable so far! The best way I could describe it is as a mix of Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing. As for my current favorite games, they’re probably… Minecraft, Danganronpa, Persona 5 Royal, and Identity V. I’m not finished playing through P5R, but I like it so far. I’m currently replaying and trying to get all achievements in every Danganronpa game! I’ve finished Trigger Happy Havoc, and I’m now working on Goodbye Despair. Having a bit of trouble though, because I have a friend I’m sharing my Steam library with who is ALSO playing through the Danganronpa games. I can’t play the games until they get off, bleh. AH, I also started a playthrough of Red Dead Redemption 2. I suck ass at it. I ended up punching my horse when trying to get on it. I also drew my gun on it multiple times. So sorry to my horse, it did not deserve that. It took me like 10 minutes and frantic googling to figure out how to get back on my horse after I accidentally got off (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

Do you play any videogames? If you do, I’d love to hear about what you like to play.

Ah, I just like history in general. I love to learn about things. Some things that caught my interest for awhile in the past though are torture/execution methods, the Chernobyl disaster, the Carrington event, WW2, old medical treatments, and Greek mythology. I haven’t been into history as much lately.. so I probably couldn’t explain anything here well.

I do collect stuff! I have a collection of various plushies, figurines, keychains, and knickknacks stored in my room. I think my favorite things that I own are probably my jar of uranium glass and this stunning piece of bismuth I got just a couple weeks ago. I’d like to start a full on collection of uranium glass, but that’s expensive, and I have no idea where I’d put it. Uranium glass is absolutely gorgeous, though! I hope to at least get a couple more pieces in the future.

[imaginedreamwrite]

Break my heart with Steve + song lyric. Please just shatter me!

Here’s my attempt! Trigger warning for death, loss of life, mourning and grief

“Hi Steve.” He smiled bashfully and smoothed his hair down, aware of his newer size and strength, of his change in appearance. “It’s been a while.”

“I’m on a little leave before I have to go back.” He blushed, studying you and paying special attention to the hair bow you chose.

He would have to bring you back some fancy bows from France or England, something you’d really love.

Gave his order to a girl with a bow in her hair

He's a little shy so she give him a smile

So he said would you mind sittin' down for a while

And talking to me, I'm feeling a little low

“Do you have a minute?” Steve felt nervous, anxious to his core while you poured him a coffee. “I’d like to talk to you.”

“Yeah…I’ve got a minute.” You flashed him a smile, your pretty eyes and beautiful smile making his entire uniform feel tight and rigid, instilling an incessant need to fidget. “Are you okay?”

“I’m shipping out soon, again.” Steve drew his hand over the edge of the napkin, his heart skipping a beat the longer he looked at you, the longer he searched your beautiful face. “And I was thinking when I came back…”

“Steve,” your hand rest upon his, reflecting the same small town and meagre upbringing he experienced, “are you asking me out?”

So they went down and they sat on the pier

He said I bet you got a boyfriend but I don't care

I got no one to send a letter to

Would you mind if I sent one back here to you

“You’re not…you don’t have a soldier…?” Steve felt foolish, he felt like he was crossing a line and making some kind of mistake.

“No,” you squeezed his hand and brushed your thumb back and forth against him, “I don’t have a soldier. Its just me.”

“Me too,” Steve spoke with forlorn, dropping his gaze to your ring finger wondering what it would look like in the future, “but maybe when I get back we could see a film?”

“A film.” Your lips formed a small smile, nodding excitedly. “I’d really like that. To see a film with you.”

“I can write you too, if you want.” He could see it now, the life before him in a tiny place in Brooklyn. “I’d like to have someone to talk to.”

“Of course, Steve. You can write me anytime.”

I cried

Never gonna hold the hand of another guy

Too young for him they told her

STEVE ROGERS, HERO OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE CRASHED INTO THE OCEAN—

Your hand shook and your eyes screwed closed. Nausea befell you, a cry or scream ripping from your throat as you clutched his last letter and broke down on the floor of your small apartment. You couldn’t deal with the immense loss and the papers that printed the news of his death had caused a great deal of mourning among people around you.

You were alone when you found out, you had little to remember him by. His letters and his Saint Christopher necklace he gave you was safely tucked in your drawers. Your heart felt like it was turning to ash in your chest, your mind thinking of nothing but him.

You finally cried, you finally broke down and managed to verbally mourn him. Your tears were rolling down your cheeks hot and heavy, your back pressed against the cracking plaster wall.

You’d been visited by one of the soldiers he had fought with, one of the men who returned home alive had given you something from Steve. The box that you hadn’t even touched yet had sat on your kitchen table with his handwriting scrawled across the tag.

“I know it hasn’t been long, but I wanna marry you. I’m gonna come home and we’re gonna get married.”

Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier

Our love will never end

Waitin' for the soldier to come back again

You kneeled in front of the grave they had for him, your fingers clutching the stone as you cried. You could barely breathe, barely speak and hardly get out the goodbye he deserved. Your heart shattered when you read the epitaph and you felt as if part of you died with him.

“I miss you.” Your voice shook, your fingers trailing across his name etched in stone. “I miss you so much.”

Never more to be alone when the letter says

A soldier's coming home

[progamersoleil]

Kingdom Death: Year 5 [Showdown]

And so our group of survivors, who I am severely lacking icons to use to do much of anything interesting with (oops), arrive at the end of the hunt to defeat the level 2 version of the Smog Singers.

... but first!

... It's time for Goyo to run over that corpse and give herself brain damage.

@meltylxve

THERE'S A GOOD REASON, I SWEAR.

See?

I needed her to suffer brain traumas so that she could get stronger, and suffer, uh. More brain traumas.

Just five more brain traumas, I swear.

Goyo then proceeds to run up to the first Smog Singer and whip it so fucking hard that the entire group now has performance anxiety and can't sing their weird smoggy songs anymore.

And Loki, with her newly obtained and fancy bow, gets yet another crit thanks to its Deadly effect, getting the group yet another free resource as well as making everyone's attacks more accurate.

"My turn then."

"Aw nuts. We just started."

"I have nothing to feel guilty about. I haven't even landed a hit yet."

Trapped failed successfully.

"Let me at em!"

"... I got knocked into a pillar and hurt my head."

"Don't worry Illya, I'll get him!"

"... He punched me."

... There seems to be a running theme with this showdown.

And then thanks to their performance anxiety from earlier, all of the Smog Singers, uh...

... also fell over and hurt themselves.

Yeah this is just a comedy of errors at this point.

Somehow Goyo, despite having suffered numerous brain traumas already, is the only one here capable of doing anything competent. And continues to just savagely maul this one particular Smog Singer.

To the point where it just tries to run away entirely, terrified of the enraged little blue alien girl, but Goyo has no mercy.

And, uh.

I forgot to take a picture of it apparently, but the next Hit Location I drew caused the smog singer to just like.

Fucking pop.

Like I just straight up fucking killed it and removed one of them from the board prematurely.

Damn Goyo. I think all these brain traumas might have triggered something.

[kiryoutann]

HIII RYOU💞 how are you my dear?

i just read chapter 22 and WOW lumine is so adorable, she deserves a super happy ending🥺

You’re not even half, as pretty, and it’s killing you.

You're a dream, and she's not even half as pretty.

THE PARALLELS!!!!! they are both so beautiful and amazing i want to punch childe for making both of them feel this way :( im really feeling so sorry for lumine, i think under different circumstances she and yn would be good friends🥺

"Childe was the one who once drew stars around your scars, however, now he is also the one who carved a new one on you—the deepest one." THE REFERENCE!!! we are having taylor swift and pain for the breakfast (and i love it)

ryou i have a question, after the end of between kisses you intend to write extra chapters, right? is there any chance that one of these extras is a different version of what happened from chapter 17 onwards? like, lumine actually getting pregnant🤠 i confess that, even though this chapter made my heart bleed, i was curious to know the course of things where childe and yn would really have to divorce (and see him noticing his feelings too late because 🤩ANGST🤩)

im really praying for the ending to be happy, but im not going to lie, i would love a little more angst hehe you got me addicted to suffering ryou!!!

anywayyyy, THANK YOU FOR ANOTHER AMAZING CHAPTER💞 hope u have an amazing weekend🥰

— 🦄

ps: im anxious and scared for the next chapter with ZHONGLI AAAAANGST!!!! my tissues are already ready but my heart is not😨

HELLO!

i've been bad :( i got triggered over smth and ended up spending my week depressed TT_TT but now i'm feeling a bit better and still trying. hope you're doing well, 🦄!!

AHHHHH YOU NOTICED IT AGAIN! they're literally complimenting each other. i might make y/n and lumine as the endgame-

OKAY WELL, i wrote the chapter while listening to 'cardigan' (tiktok ver) so i GOTTA put that there. i'm obsessed with that song and THAT line. UGHHHHH so magical so bittersweet.

the extra chapters will be things that'll happen after the epilogue. so it won't be a different versions of (a) chapter or anything! I PROMISED NOT TO WRITE MORE ANGST AFTER THE EPILOGUE IM SORRY BB (╥﹏╥)(WELL, AT LEAST IN THIS FIC)

i can't blame u tho, angst is also one of my favorite thing in a fic lol

HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT WEEK<3 take care and stay healthy!!

[the-kindle-pile]

[Short Romance Story] The Moon

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, real people are used as reference but not in anyway representative of anyone or my relations with them.

The song of romance has been well written across time and culture. Lyrical and enchanting, full of melody and melancholia. I've never been able to well experience it. One of the joys and sorrows I've been unceremoniously excluded from. But I will try to explain it from my meager experience. It wasn't much of anything but it wasn't nothing.

If you would know anything of romance, you would know it is not grounded in reality. It is a fleeting charm and beauty, that comes and go. She wasn't as beautiful as you thought she was. He wasn't as handsome and amazing as you thought he was. It is just an illusion but it is the illusion we cling onto. Well-maintained physique will help you keep the illusion, reminding you of the roaring years of your youth. Which is also why love grounded in the physical will erode away. Yet we cannot deny it is the physical that will trigger our neurons. We can call it spiritual, we can call it fate but we cannot deny ourselves that the partial core truth of love is physical.

Yet if love was only purely physical, it would not have permeated through all of media and persisted through time and culture, poems, lyrics and prose. It would not have meaning in art and roses, in gems and stones. It would not exist in other symbols if it was just carnal.

And so, I shall attempt to write it, a story. A story that is just a little bit off the tone of reason. A nostalagia for the disaster that is my unrequited love.

My experience with the opposite sex during my youthful days were limited. I came from a boy school and did not interact with girls until I was in my late teens in Polytechnic. When I first spoke to her it was for a project, yet I did not feel the nervousness that a young boy teen would when he speaks with an attractive counterpart. But rather, I was above all, confused.

You see, even at a young age, I was full of self-doubt and low self-esteem. A clearly attractive girl talking to me with respect and without disgust, surprised me. I didn't have my hair done, I did not dress well, my skin complexion was awful (and still is). To watch and sit right next to her partaking complete, deep conversations with her, felt so satisfying. She was a natural academic. We both studied sociology as our elective but she was in a different field, food science. I wonder how far she got with that.

We had many conversations but she was mainly the one doing the talking, which I loved. She can go on and on about sociology and random little things. About how cute the way hair buns sat upon our classmates heads, about how qauntities of our daily energy was burnt by our brains during studies. And I would just sit there and listen, throwing in a joke or two and she would laugh. Those were simpler days.

Unfortunately for me, she was already with someone else. She never talked about him but not for the lack of love. But simply because they had spent so much time together that they were comfortable with each other. She had something precious and it was something she cherished dearly.

I knew I couldn't give her a better life. I knew I couldn't promise to make her happier. I knew myself too well, to believe that I could treat her better. I knew it wasn't possible.

But I did love her.

I knew the words that would cheer her up when she was sad. I knew the gifts to buy when she was feeling down. I knew the songs she would love when we were just relaxing. Every gift I bought, I took considerations. I care to be thoughtful but not romantic. What she treasured most, I treasured too. I do not dare to say we shared something. But there was something that was drawing us together, our love of the same intangible little things and value of what we considered good in ourselves that were not superficial. She drew me in, like tides to the Moon.

There was a day we were out on an assignment that required us to be out in the field, filling surveys with the public. We were paired up as a team and had to go door to door to have our surveys filled. Me being an extreme introvert, hated the acitivity. I was extremely nervous because I had to interact with strangers and moreover, she was dressed in a basic formal work attire with make up on. And that somehow, was extremely attractive to me. By the end of the day I was wrecked, distracted, tired and barely got anything done.

By the last hour, I was ready to give up. And she said, why not do one last block? But this time as a game between us both. To see which one of us could finish knocking all the doors whether answered or not. And as if the universe was responding to the call, there was unexpectedly another pair of surveyors from another team in the same block. Knowing this, we both sprinted, to race each other and the other team to knock as many doors as we could. We could hear each other talking to the residents as we went down the blocks, gauging each other's progress. Her sweet chiming voice gave me more motivation to move along through doors faster. With a simple suggestion she changed my tone towards the assigment. We had more surveys filled in that apartment block, than any other blocks that day. At the end of the night, we were exhausted but we were happy. We had so much fun and I wonder if it could stay that way. But I knew it couldn't.

At the end, the course didn't worked out for me. She excelled in her's while I struggled in mine. The studies were about people and I do not work well with them. No matter how hard I worked, changed or adapted. I could not achieve what I needed to achieve to follow where she went. Besides, having your significant other work in the same field as you is a terrible idea ( at least that was what I told myself ).

She eventually caught on and had a inkling about my feelings for her. Things became awkward and I withdrew. But we did not drift apart in bad faith. And she did not cut me out of her circle. I could still see her holiday photos of her and her partner and their families on social media. Which is all fine with me, I feel no sorrow, I am happy that she is happy. I feel no regret because I had given what I could give.

She was like the Moon to me and I am the man in the valley. Gazing up at her in the field of many stars. She was the one I felt closest to, despite being so far. She was not my first love and probably not my last. But she might have been the one that is the most enchanting and more radiant than a star.

[song-of-yohan]

‘Now, talk.’

“What am I supposed to talk about?”

Stacks of paper suddenly being thrown on the table, captured bloody scenes are on the surface, along with a familiar face bathed in crimson red.

‘Those.’

Trigger Warnings: Murder , Blood , Violence , Death , Gore , etc.

2022.12.12 | 11:57 AM

Jeju, South Korea.

“Please come back again later!”

“Thank you for coming!”

“Apples? Oh, those are on the back! Let me help you finding those!”

“Do you need any assist?”

Today has been a busy day for Song Yohan, since there is an undeniably significant increase on the number of customers. Even though the exhaustion is getting a little bit unbearable, seeing how the owners of the shop smiling, joyous face helped him on building his almost evaporated energies.

At least, he managed to communicate with people.

At least, he got people smiling contently.

“Yohan, it’s lunch time already, have some break first, Harabeoji will take care of the rest.”

“Oh, yes—thank you so much!”

Twinkling eyes, turning his head before bowing to the last customer he was serving and averting his attention to the senior couple. Dashed to the staff room and took of his apron immediately, anticipating the nice meal indulging his tastebuds. Smiling, he closed his eyes and intertwine his fingers, ready to enjoy the meal until,

BANG!

“SOMEONE PLEASE CALL AMBULANCE!”

2023.12.07 | 07:31 PM

New York, USA.

That event happened almost a year ago yet the memory plagued in his back of mind persistenly. It was so vivid until Yohan can describe every single thing on the scene with precise details, truly exceptional—and the fact he needed to testify for great amount of time because of that, being suspected as one of the strategists instead of a mere witness even though the security cameras and other people who were at the scene already told otherwise.

The world is rigged, and he surely knew it better than anyone else. If an easy catch is provided in front of them, why should ones get through the difficult way?

It wasn’t surprising that he remained calm—if not being simply uninterested, clearly unbothered with the atmosphere even though those investigators kept pushing on him with those tricky questions, some of them even lost their cool in front of the twenty three years old lad after throwing some questions. From challenging gaze to provoking choice of words and tone, he naturally drew the suspicion from those people. However, his peak remark was,

“You only believe what you want, don’t you?”

which got him sent back home not too long after.

Lucky to anyone targeted on Yohan—none of them chased him that night since he more likely will turn them into minced meat if there was any. Instead, he handed himself handful tasks on continue, not giving his body any proper rest for the next week since got nothing else to do—the shop was temporarily being closed since Harabeoji needs to be hospitalized.

Scattered papers and massive amount of opened tabs on his devices were his inevitable view, until his work worth of hours finally showing the result. A smile grew on his lips and he clapped his hands in such a content, proud heart. In no time, he already pocketed some extracted deadly nightshade he taught himself to made.

He’s ready to deliver the package that person asked.

Yohan acknowledged this mission would be far from easy even though he knew plenty informations about his target already. Nurturing his short-lived patience well, he tried to merge himself into his target’s neighborhood by blending there, as if he’s a new tenant leaving nearby who needs to get guided by the people around.

Years of teaching himself on doing this kind of thing surely able to display its result. It only took days for him to be able to pinpoint the person’s daily activities—he even managed to strike some conversations with him until the exchanged words on one of those tea at the evenings caught him off guard.

His heart raced and he no longer able to contain his feeling, to the point where he needed to excuse himself and ran outside only to stare at a particular building at end corner of the street. His ears rang loud as the rythm of his heart began to double than it should be yet he tried to remain calm outside even though his fingers already turning white inside his coat pockets, containing his excessive anger.

Memories of some imagery flashed inside his mind, led himself to a solid conclusion he was trying to figure out since days ago—by the end of the day it was all because of him, the unfortunate events tailing him ever since he escaped his own death.

“I’ll send you to Hell with my own hands.”

2023.12.08 | 00:35 AM

New York, USA.

“Surprise!”

The young male voice might sound energetic yet there’s more than just a joy bubbling inside his blood—it’s the deadly nightshade in his palm, waiting to be transferred into the new body, no longer being trapped in the small, jammed tube. His small giggle escaped noticing the horror glinting on those eyes of his target and how prominent it turned noticing the body was immobile.

“Why? Are you afraid?”

His question rolled as if it was nothing, accompanying his light steps toward the person, approaching him with nothing but flat, emotionless face.

“I’m Yohan, that Song Yohan. Shouldn’t you missed me? How long is it already? Ten years? I’ve lived that long even though you guys kept telling me to die. Shouldn’t you be proud of me?”

Yohan chuckled a bit, the syringe in his hand is being checked. “I taught myself until I’m able to track you guys, trying to pluck every single infected grass so there won’t be another Song Yohan in the future.”

Silent scream being aired loud yet he couldn’t care any less and just wearing his most beautiful smile on his lips once their gaze met. “I won’t miss you. Thank you for playing with Song Yohan!”

A jab, right to the nerve surely sent his target to eternity. Injecting the poison as he pressed it deeper, leaving nothing but a winning smile on his facade along with the low giggling escaping his lips. Watching how those eyes slowly lost its spark, leaving a soulless, empty gaze.

“I think I’m being too kind to you,” muttered him after analyzing the whole body—he’s no longer breathing. Gaze was quick to be averted and he found himself diving on those stack of files, being more and more anxious reading every single information written on there. His tears melt on the cheek without him knowing—raging inside, he glanced at the lifeless body, chest rised up and down rapidly and the next thing he knew, the fabrics wore by him got additional color in it.

He screamed, he cried, he groaned on each stab he made, on every tear he created—turning the body into nothing but minced meat, impossible to be recognized unless it goes under further examinations.

“Stop! Drop that and raise your hands!”

“NEVER! HE DESERVES IT!”

Laughter aired in the room and his movements gradually became more ruthless, he even went as far as breaking the bones using the notebook he managed to grab earlier, clearly enjoying the masterpiece he just carve. He was deeply immersed into the moment until his senses become numb and,

THUD

“Take him.”

2023.12.08 | CURRENT TIME

Investigation Room, Unknown.

“Do you need more stimulation? Then there, we found these too, maybe it can help you.”

His eyes widen seeing his belongings scattered on the table, legs are quick to react until the clinking noises stopped him to. At that moment, he realized he was chained to the chair with arms behind his back. Sighed in defeat, he decided to respond the previous quote-unquote questions instead.

“I just tried to make sure I won’t hurt the wrong person,” answered him with both eyes closed and head being tilted backward only to find out he got nothing to lean on and he feels heavily bummed knowing that. “He deserves that. I only defended myself and prevent further chase on me. That’s it.”

Silence was the only thing existing in the room until the male sitting across him finally began his possibly long, nonsense speech. “Good. So you admit you were planning these. That way, it’s impossible to call this as a defending act—it’s a planned murder. You’ll be more likely being sent to jail and rot in there instead of just staying for several years. Not to mention since you’ve done this several times, so maybe death penalty?”

The continuation resulting in Yohan fingers turned into fists, anger started to fill him. “But here’s the thing, I’m intrigued by the fact that you’re not working alone yet you managed to gather these much information. And on top of it, your analysis were on point. You also used nightshade instead of artificial chemical. I believe you know more than these. You have a strong potential.”

Still, no interest invested on him—Yohan’s eyes were both closed, trying to send him to the dreamland instead of giving any attention toward him. “Also, the person you just murdered—butchered to be exact, was actually our next target since he was charged with malpractice, child abduction, drug smuggling, what else?”

“Unethical experiment.”

He snapped his fingers. “Correct, unethical experiment. There are at least sixteen people being his victim and I believe you’re included in the list. Right, Song Yohan?”

Hearing his name being mentioned by person, he finally lifted his head although the disinterest on those eyes were hard to ignore. “Sadly, unlike you, there’s no report of any survivor, whether they’re being killed or simply didn’t manage to survive so we simply have no further clues of the case.”

“…stop this boring conversation and just get to the point. I’m bored already.”

Something in Yohan’s reaction tickled his interest, shook his head and soon approaching the male, forcing their eyes to meet as he delivered the main intention.

“I can help you slip out from this case and provide aid and information regarding those scientists. That, if you want to work for us.”

He furrowed his brows. “What work?”

“The detail will be given later. You simply need to spy on someone. Are you in?”

“…clear my criminal records too.”

“Pardon?”

“Clear my criminal records.” Yohan stared at the man, stoic face with piercing gaze.

“You began to amuse me more, young man. You sure you don’t want to take more time to think it thoroughly?”

“I have nothing more to lose—the only thing I might lose is my life, if not my dignity. If I’m getting help on things I’ve been itching to accomplish soon, why would I need more time to think?”

“Impressive, really impressive!” He applaud, a big smile arched on the lips. “Let’s see if you really meant it, young man. Because apparently, I would never appreciate a hypocrite bluffer being around.”

“Neither do I.” Yohan sneered. “Also, please return my things too or just say goodbye to me. I can say I was just defending myself too for those cases of mine.”

For a moment, silence was all that can be found in the room along with some crinkling noises coming from Yohan’s movements until a swung door ignited his rolling eyes. “Oh, I’m so bored…” muttered him, now slouching on his chair. Gaze at the ceiling, lips jutted.

“You are? I thought you’ll still be a cheerful, enthusiastic one, just like what those people around you said.”

The newcomer’s presence made him realized the person he was talking to surely has a high position and suddenly, it piqued his interest. The gesture, the style, the gaze, he can’t help but paying more attention toward the guy. “But that doesn’t matter to me. Your participation in our team does.”

Yohan snorted as his boredom along with the anger began to float more on the surface. Trying to free himself by shaking the cuffed wrists, loud groans rolled out as he kept his gaze on both men. “Work this, team that—you keep offering me things but WHY YOU KEEP ME ON THIS STATE, DON’T YOU THINK IF YOU REALLY NEED ME TO FILL THAT I’LL NEED TO BE PROVIDED WITH MORE COMFORTABLE POSITION INSTEAD OF—AAAAAHHHHH FUCK YOU!”

The sudden change on Yohan’s temper surely caught the other male off guard. “Should I—“

An arm raised, stopping him from doing anything meanwhile his eyes were latched on the fuming male.

“Hey, calm down. You can get charged because of that—unwilling to cooperate with us. Should I remind your current position as well?”

Clenching his jaw hard, teeth gritted. He finally managed to restrain some of his madness, ready to listen everything might be told to him. However, the flushed cheeks and ragged breathing were still there.

“Leave.” A simple order from the person resulting them being the last two in the room. Unmoving from the last position, his gaze never once lifted from the other. “It’s called Desolated Hollow, the team.”

“Sounds depressing much.”

He somehow, doesn’t look bothered by the sudden remark coming from the younger. Not even a single flinch was able to be noticed by Yohan—who’s now being more tensed on his own seat. “You’ll fill this one position and all you need to do is keeping your eyes on him.”

The image of someone is shown to him. Eyes squinting, trying to recall the moments where he might ever met him only to end up shaking his head since he’s failed to recognize the person. “I don’t know him. Who’s that?”

“Gabriel Black. Basically, a valuable informant with a special condition,” explained him. “Aside of keeping us informed about his activities, you’ll be assigned on him each time he pays a visit and that’s all.”

Hearing those, his brow raised high as he struggled in connecting the dots—why it needs to be him? It’s not a dangerous task, if he may say. An ordinary staff will be sufficient to execute the work, but why…

“You’re allowed to do anything preventing him on doing things affecting the team negatively but remember, make sure he’s alive and willing to provide more for us. Take note of this, he’s a sociopath.”

…click. Oh, that’s why.

“I’ll add these to help you decide—remembering you also have some information regarding the scientists, not to mention you’re the only survivor we knew and well, how many people have you murdered?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t count.”

A smile drawn on his facade as the response came out faster than expected. “Together with the last victim, it’s seven. At least that what recorded in these,” said him while waving the papers from before. “It’s easy for us to put a death sentence on you. But wouldn’t it be a waste for both of us? You can never accomplish your goal too if you refuse my offer.” Erasing the distance between them with his unfaltered smile, once again forcing their gaze to meet. “So, what’s your answer, Song Yohan?”

“I’ll join if you’re able to grant my requests. Clear my criminal records, give me all the information you know about those damned scientists and return my things.” Nudging his things using his chin, not even blinked when he stared at him. “Can you?”

“Sure.”

“And let me do things the way I want to. I believe you won’t need to know the process, you just need the results, no?”

A nod with contented smile on facade delivered the answer better than any word can do. “Very well. When can we sign the terms and conditions?”

“It will never happen,” Yohan was quick to respond. “At least until you release me.”

—xxx—

[plungermusic]

“I’m goin’ where the climate suits my clothes …”

In my minds eye Maverick Festival is always bathed in scorching sunshine, and sadly I’d dressed accordingly… as it turned out, this year epitomised the classic “Best pack a brolly and a jumper… and your sun screen too” British summer. Thankfully Maverick #16 had as wide a range of stormy, breezy, sunny and hot music on offer too.

Opening The Barn stage, and definitely on the bright and breezy side, was Jon Langford’s acoustic-led barroom Americana-with-a-splash-of-Irish (yes, we know he’s Welsh!) like the boisterous fiddle-and-piano-propelled Walking On Hell’s Roof Looking At The Flowers. He certainly brought plenty of vigour to get the show rolling, but for our tastes there was maybe too much of that particularly British undercurrent of tongue in cheek, knowing ironic delivery as exemplified by a very Squeeze-like Slightly South Of The Border.

Down at The Moonshine though, Chris Murphy [below] was in deadly earnest! With an appropriately Mephistophelean look, a somewhat gravelly vocal and solo fiddle (played in a variety of ways) enhanced with loops and pedals, he mixed traditional celtic and Appalachian music with ambient and heaver elements to great effect: from Early Grave’s backwoods hoedown stomp to the highlands-threnody-meets-badlands-trainride-soundtrack of Into The Past. A particular favourite was Halfway Around The World: epic in scope, ranging from sweeping ambient soundscape to full-on ceilidh fiddle lines, harmonised and doubled-up that raised the hairs on the backs of our Scots-expat necks!

Heading back toward The Barn we caught a brief snatch of A Different Thread’s Peacock stage set: some gentle Greenwich Village coffee shop folky Americana with delicate harmonies sung into a single mic (Old Time stylee), with splashes of Dylany harmonica, upright bass (and an upright drummer!) and even a hint of N’awlins-y Dr Johnishness in a whimsical whistling song.

Michael James Wheeler was just finishing up as we got to The Barn, looking and sounding the epitome of the clean-cut all-American country star, his Don Mcleanesque super-clear delivery with a hint of quavering vulnerability backed by big, chiming guitar chords.

One of the big draws this year for Plunger were Lonehollow [below], whose first ever appearance (of three over the weekend) was at The Barn. Rylie Bourne and Damon Atkins style themselves “a little bit country, a little bit rock’n’roll” respectively, and there was plenty of the latter in Damon’s gutsy vocal lead on Angel Wings and and a boogieing I Thought It’d Be Me, and of the former in Rylie’s aching Mary Ann with heartbreaking harmonies and the wistful Simple Town. Some lovely touches too of dark Nicksian menace in Lover and Stones, plus a slinky, funky road song Hard Slowin’ Down. Top notch stuff!

A Plunger favourite from previous Mavericks, Evangeline Gentle [below] brought her stunning hypnotic voice to The Moonshine. Right from the first blissful notes of You And I, a short a cappella with a traditional highland flavour, she had the crowd captivated. The enchantment continued through the  aching nostalgia of So It Goes, the hymn-like Good And Guided, and a languid cover of Simply The Best dedicated to her childhood heroine Tina Turner. Bad Girls a new song, drew on those times growing up in a small provincial town with a group of fellow ‘outcast others’. The closing ecstatic love song Sundays was as warm and abandoned as Sunday morning loving, and a formidable earworm for the rest of the weekend.

Back at The Barn, Tom Russell (storied country royalty with a pedigree including working with Johnny Cash and being the writer of the fantastic Gallo Del Cielo) [below] delivered a solo troubadoury set that drew a large devoted crowd to the barn, often singing along to his numbers like Hair Trigger Heart: it was accomplished enough but for us a little pedestrian and samey so I’m afraid to admit we wandered off…

We whiled away the remainder of the time before The Barn headliners down at The Peacock for much of Pepe Belmonte (another previous Maverick attendee we’ve always enjoyed) and his band’s set, including the louche Band-meets-McGuinness Flint lope of The Waterline with harmonica, mandolin and lovely piano accents; the Grateful Deadish boogie of (what we think was  called) The Bailiff Song, and more Dylany/Band vibes in the excellent Open Water.

By this time night (and a rather chill rain) had fallen, but the storming performance of Norfolk’s The Vagaband [above] raised the temperature and the roof with a spicy gumbo of southern roots, cowboy country, blues and more. Moody Western vibes came in Something Wicked This Way Comes with twangsome bottom-end guitar lines, great Hammond organ and some devilish fiddle, and in the rattling two-step of Not My Day To Die with its saloon piano and mandolin. Beautiful World was an easy-going, strummy country amble, while the drawled Black-Eyed Sally built slowly to a rumbustious country rocker. A high level of musicianship was evident throughout, but particularly in the slightly more out of leftfield tracks: White Noise, written in (and about) lockdown, had a sophisticated reggaeish slink to it, featuring classy electric piano, and a soully middle eight; while Wheels was a Madchester shuffle with more meaty Hammond and a storming fuzzy wah solo from Mark Howes; even the final crowd-pleasing stomp of Gabrielle was leavened by stylish fiddle and cymbal rich drums, peaking in a neat switch into Miss You-style discotastic funk. 

A very classy and steamy end to what had been a chilly evening, warming the cockles and raising the spirits ready for round two on Saturday.

[anonymousfoz]

Doomsday Rising Part 1: Slaughtered Blood

Trigger Warnings: A little gorey and murder Next Part

Some context, this was lore writing for an event happening in a discord server. We had things called clans, which acted like little nations with a different talent. This wasn't meant to be a writing but things don't always go planned and it was better off as a written story. With that said, enjoy and give feedback!

Note: some names are weird, they are based off actual people who took part in clans.

The night was peaceful. The sound of the tiniest raindrops dropping into the vast fields of grass and the slow sounds of crickets chirping away. It seemed every creature was in perfect harmony and rhythm. Playing away to the song of the forest. It was a perfect night. But it was a shame it would be ruined. A dark figure from the edge of the forest slowly began to come upon a settlement and climbed over the shitty fence which the settlers had made. These settlers were the exiles of the clans that existed in the solar system. Each Clan was different and some of them disgusted the dark figure, but he had plans to take them down later on. He came upon the sleeping exiles. They were named Lone Wolves despite not deserving such a name. They were the scum of the universe, but here, they slept like an innocent child in bed on Kristmas day. The dark figure took an explosive out of their pocket and lit the fuse before throwing it down into the house of the sleeping exiles. Listening to the sounds of panic as the Wolves woke up trying to escape or wake up others, but the attempt was effortless. The bomb went off with a loud explosion. Guts and intestines flew everywhere. Those out of range started to scatter in fear. The dark figure smiled as he grabbed some throwing knives and headed after the wolves. A few had run to the nearby outpost, which belonged to other clans. The Crusaders, Bear Vikings, Rebel Union, and the Troll Army had won a war on this planet against the Wolves’ previous tyrannical leader. So they set up outposts to watch them and send over their own exiles. The dark figure had to act fast before other clans got involved, but not too fast for now. He went out and killed them one by one at a steady pace. They tried to cross a river like the stupid morons they were. One even drown-

“HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP! THERE IS A MURDERER! ALL THE OTHERS ARE DEAD! PLEASE HELP ME!” He ran towards the edge of the forest and saw a young female yelling at the other clan’s outposts. He drew one of his knives and threw it, aiming for the girl’s neck. The last thing he needed were those brutes, called Crusaders, getting involved. The knife had gone through the girl’s head, seemingly cutting it in half. Almost instantly, she was dead and the right side of her brain fell out when her body made an impact with the ground. It was horrible to look at, but she was a traitor to some other clan. She had to deserve her fate. No, she deserved it.

“Contact the main planet NOW! Someone go check out the status of the wolves! LETS GO SOLIDERS! BEFORE THEY GET AWAY!” He heard the yelling and bickering of the clan members at the outpost. The panic heard in the voices he heard almost made him smile. But he had to go back and make sure all of them were truly dead. He took time looking over their bodies, checking for any signs of pulses, and then burning the corpses. The figure questioned what was taking the clans so long to check in. He was nearly done, and no one had seemed to come into the forest to check on the Wolves’ settlement.

“What are you doing here, you dumb Potato?” A ‘wolf,’ finally spoke. “I thought Potatoes were meant to be peaceful.” The dark figure picked up the ‘wolf,’ by its shirt.

“Why would I be peaceful to some traitor like you?” He finally spoke, with a deep monotonous voice.

“You will not get away with this Galaxy, you will fuck up eventually!” It laughed and spat some blood onto Galaxy’s cheek. However, Galaxy remained unfazed. He pinned the ‘wolf’ to a wall with multiple throwing knives before leaving the settlement, leaving it set ablaze. For good measure, he did a fire spell on the forest to get it to burn down. It was to throw anyone off his trail since Firey was the magical clan. Those dumbasses would be looking for someone in the wrong clan. And just like that, all the wolves were either dead or ash and no clan would know it was him.

He got into his ship and began to fly towards his home planet while getting rid of the evidence he had on him. Galaxy’s ship flew for days before it reached his home planet, which drove him insane due to the smell of bleach he had used to get rid of evidence. He had then gone to help his clan members harvest food in the fields like nothing had happened. It was not long before he got a notification that the other leaders were having a meeting. He left his home planet again to fly off to the meeting place, which was on the outskirts of their solar system. Galaxy wouldn’t be the last one there since the Firey Revolution had just lost their last leader, and no one wanted to be in charge. Galaxy had sighed, as he knew he had to pretend to like the rest of the clan leaders. He had parked on the dwarf planet and hopped out for a long hike up to the headquarters. While he partook of the lengthy walk, he was thinking about the other clans. Especially those Crusaders. They made all the weapons for war, but half the time spoke of peace. They fought brutally and seemingly without honor. Their leader, Demi, was the most feared person in the solar system because she clearly was stronger than she appeared. Some questioned if she was a god. She had done feats of strength and speed like it was nothing, and no one questioned it. And then Demi’s husband Tyn, who would crack your skull if you pronounced his name as “tine” instead of “ten”. He was a fighter, and a pretty damn good one. He was clever as a diplomat and commander of the armed forces. They were a power couple and would pose a great threat in the future. They would be the last one Galaxy would take down. Galaxy and his Potato army wouldn’t be strong enough to take them down first. The other clans weren’t as big of an issue, but the Crusaders thrived no matter what. While other clans depended on the Powered Potatoes for food, the Crusaders did not. They would be the biggest threat to Galaxy and the Powdered Potatoes if war was declared, so it would be best to get on their good side. The Bear Vikings were small, but they were the only clan that may have a shot at Galaxy’s mercy. The other clans were pretty much just dead weight to the Potato leader. Galaxy finally made it up to the hill and into the meeting house. It was somewhat chaotic. But Demi nor Tyn were in sight.

“Galaxy, have you heard what was going on?” It was Kacpix, the small Troll emperor. His voice constantly cracked, and it was annoying.

“No, I am afraid I have not.” Galaxy responded while sitting down in his designated spot. It had only been a few months since he took control of the Potatoes since the old leader abandoned the clan. Oh, how Galaxy wished he had that pathetic leader’s head on a pike.

“Someone attempted to overthrow the bear leader!” Kacpix sounded more and more like a high pitched little child.

“His name is Kenichi! There are two bear chiefs, Panda and Kenichi. Get their names right and respect your fellow leaders, you little bitch!” Galaxy paused to calm down. While he didn’t really care for any clan or their leader. The least they could do was respect others. Especially that greedy ass Troll who showed respect for no one unless Demi was in the room. What a little suck up. “That is unfortunate. I say we send troops after the traitor and to protect Kenichi and his clan.”

“Great idea Galaxy, but we already got the traitor. However, that is not why I called you all here.” All the leaders had turned their heads to see Demi, that damn Crusader leader. She walked in and sat down. Her metal boots clunking every step. She had an iron chest plate on while having a tunic underneath and recently polished iron leggings. “The traitor was executed, like all the other wolves a few days ago on the planet Nephamia. It seems to have been a genocide with some magic involved. We are not sure who yet, but we will keep investigating it and taking leads.” The room fell silent.

“D-did any make it out alive?” Alexy asked. Galaxy looked over and saw tears come out of his eyes. Alexy differed from the other leaders. His clan was fascist however, Alexy was a good person and cared about his people; Even the Wolves, which Galaxy had just killed.

“One made it out Alexander. They did not see anyone due to being blind and sleeping in the bathtub for whatever reason, but they claimed to have heard a name that night from one of the Wolves, before the murderer left. So we are going to investigate them and protect the child for as long as possible.” Demi assured the fascist leader. Galaxy sat as calm as he possibly could, however, he was internally panicking. The rest of the meeting happened like usual, some trading and yelling at each other. Then the other leaders left. First was Kacpix, the Troll emperor; then Alexy, the Rebel Union, fascist leader; and lastly Kenichi, who came in late. Everyone was gone but Demi and Galaxy.

“I think I should go.” Galaxy attempted to get up and get away as quickly as possible, but he was flung back into his chair by Demi’s magic. Demi slowly walked over to him. The clank of her metal boots made him grow more nervous. The leader who had never feared anything was now scared, like the child in the bathtub.

“I know you killed them, Galaxy.” The crusader paused and then put her mouth near his ear. “I was there on Nephamia that night.” She whispered as Galaxy began to sweat. With the speed of lightning, she grabbed him by his shirt almost in the same way he had grabbed that ‘wolf’ back on Nephamia. “I made a promise with one of your fathers that I would not let you get in trouble and this is how you repay him! He didn’t die protecting you for you to go commit genocide on men, women and children!” She dropped him onto the floor and turned to leave. Meanwhile, Galaxy’s heart was racing and his breathing was heavy.

“What are you going to do with me?” He quickly blurted. Demi stopped and turned around. He couldn’t see the light in her eyes because they were pitch black before bright golden pupils had appeared in them.

“Nothing for now, since I owe your father a lot. However,” she paused as knives appeared in the wall around Galaxy. “Next time, you won’t get off scot free. And no one will save you from execution. Whatever has gotten into you needs to stop now. I won’t hesitate to kill you myself!” She warned, and just like that, she was gone. Galaxy took some time to calm down since, at that point, he was hyperventilating. Eventually, the leader fell asleep. He was hugging his knees and had his head on them. One could describe the position as uncomfortable, but it did not stop him from sleeping, for he got a good 4 hours of sleep.

Galaxy picked his head up, and his eyes opened a little. He was still somewhat asleep but could move around. He heard voices, telling him all sorts of things. To kill everyone who stood in his way. Was it his subconscious or something else? Galaxy rubbed his eyes and let out an enormous yawn before standing up. It was not long before the voices were gone, but the message was clear. Do whatever it took. Galaxy went into his ship and started the trip back to his own planet. For he had a lot of time to plan the downfall of all the clans and the Crusader Queen.

[zillyart32]

Found in my drafts: a NYE QnA from 2018 going into 2019! A lot has changed about me since then, but a lot of this is important to me!

Q: First things first, did you have a good year? A:It was alright. Better than the last two, aside from those couple months I was in a DEEP depression hole.

Q: How old did you turn this year? A: Hhhhhhhhhh 19.

Q: Do you feel your age? A: Absolutely not, lemme be 15 again please, just don't send me back to highschool.

Q: Did your appearance change in anyway? A: Gained some weight, lost a good amount of it again, cut my hair.

Q: Post your favorite selfie. A: No.

Q: If you traveled, where did you go? A: Hahaha. HAHAHA! HAA HAA HAAAAAA!

Q: Which fashion trends did you love? A: Idgaf about trends

Q: Which fashion trends did you hate? A: Idgaf about trends

Q: What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible? A: My fancy black coat!

Q: What song sums up this year for you? A: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Clay Pedrini (If you look it up, there's a spesific version. It starts out with an evil laugh, an organ, and a scream, and Hyde's misspelled in the video but not the title)

Q: What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then? A: Lol no.

Q: What was your favorite movie of the year? A: Not a movie person.

Q: Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year? A: Can't remember.

Q: Favorite new TV show? A: Craig of The Creek, I guess. It's not a hyperfixation, but it came out this year and I enjoyed it.

Q: Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears? A:Eh.

Q: What food did you try for the first time? A: A salmon poke bowl. (Bought packaged from Aldi but it was delicious.)

Q: Did you make any big permanent changes this year? A: Everything in this universe is temporary.

Q: What was one nice thing you did for someone else? A: Drew a picture of a friend when he was having a bad day to bring a smile to his face.

Q: What was one nice thing you did for yourself? A: Haircut.

Q: Did you develop a new obsession? A: JEKYLL AND HYDE.

Did you vote? Unfortunately, I didn't register in time, BUT I'M ALL SET UP FOR 2020, BRING IT ON. (2023 note: I did end up voting! Yay!)

Q: Did you move? A: Still in this wet cardboard box of a house with literal mold n shit and sunlight coming in through holes in the roof, send help. (2023 note: I got the help O needed!)

Q: Did you get a job? A: No.

Q: Did you get a pet? A: Kitties had kittens! (2023 note: I miss my cats, Tails. I miss them so much.)

Q: Do you regret not doing anything? A: Too many things.

Q: Do you regret doing something? A: Leaving my tech where it could get broken.

Q: Have you done anything that scared you? A: Possible trigger warning for bugs/worms! So one time me and my irl bestie (not to be confused with my discord/tumblr bestie) were exloring a creek. Catching and releasing crayfish, finding neat things in the water, taking cool photos, all sorts of stuff. I manage to fish this black orb-like thing out of the water. It looked like it came off a tree or something, it was definitely plant based in origin. I open it up out of curiosity, and what do I find? It's FULL of little white wiggling things!! I couldn't tell if they were maggots or what, but I was TERRIFIED! I fucking DROPPED that thing IMMEDIATELY, and we both got out of there ASAP!

Q: Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days? A: If you had asked me that two years ago, boy would I have had a story for ya, but this year nah. I usually pretty much let a lot of things go quickly.

Q: Did you lose anyone close to you? A: TRIGGER WARNING FOR ANIMAL DEATH. There was a kitten. A poor little newborn kitten. They were only in this world for a few days, but I had grown to love them so much. They were having trouble for day 1, but I was rooting for 'em. Caring for 'em. Trying my best to help 'em grow up strong and healthy. They refused to drink their mama's milk, so me and my mum took turns feeding 'em with a bottle. Then, one day, they started choking on the milk. I was freaking out and blaming myself for possibly squeezing the bottle too hard. We tried our best to help the poor little one, but to no avail. The life left their body as I cradled 'em in my arms. Rest in peace, little Me-Mow. Please know that you were so very loved, and are still missed.

Q: Did you fall in love? A: Ha.

Q: Did you fall out of love? AHa!!

Q: Did you start a new relationship? A: Lotsa new friendships! Shoutout to the madsquad! (2023 note: I still love ya guys!!!)

Q: Did you go through a break up? A: I was still kinda dealing with breakup emotions in January and some of February but s'all good now.

Q: Did you have to cut ties to someone? A: Yep... kinda feel bad about it though... I'm worried about her... she was just a kid, but I just couldn't play therapist anymore. My advice was terrible and almost got her in big trouble. I'm so sorry.......

Q: Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year? A: New friendo Hatch. Sorry I don't really talk in the server as often but you are cool important friendo who deserves good things in life and may 2019 bring good things for you. (2023 note: We’re dating and our third anniversary is this month ((June))!!! I love it so much!)

Q: Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year? A: Can't say...

Q: If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it? A: Yeah. (2023 note: I forgor what I meant by this.)

Q: What was the best moment of the year for you? A: The BEST? I can't really say! But going to that haunted house this year was awesome! Also the early days of the Shivering Isles discord server had a lot of good moments!

Q: What was the worst? A: A lot of these types of moments involve my dad and I don't wanna go into detail. (2023 note: HIS ASS GOT KICKED OUTTA THE HOUSE LAST YEAR, VICTORYYYYY!!!!)

Q: Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t? A: Not that I can think of.

Q: Did anything happen to you that you were sure wouldn’t change you as a person but it did? A: Going swimming with my irl bestie brought me out of my depressive episode and started me towards finding myself again.

Q: What are you most proud of accomplishing? A: Learning a lot about how to just enjoy myself without fear of negative opinions.

Q: What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior? A: I finally get why I haven't exactly been comfortable calling myself a female. Identifying that way has felt like a piece of clothing that doesn't exactly fit ya right but ya can/gotta deal with it. It's time to wear something that fits me better. I'm nonbinary.

Q: Did your opinion of anyone change for the better? A: Yes.

Q: Did your opinion of anyone change for worse? A: Oh, absolutely.

Q: If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year? A: Hahaha, not exactly.

Q: If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year? A: Make more art and be a better friend.

Q: If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do? Who and what would you like to see? A: I would visit Australia, meet my online bestie finally, and kick off the new year with him right now if I could.

Q: What do you wish for others for the coming year? A: HAPPINESS AND COMFORT!!!!!!!

Q: What do you wish for yourself? A: Growth. (2023 note: You got your wish <3)