#gotta build up a conversation long enough first... i have no emotional intimacy in my life atm bc i just dont spend enough time w anyone

[toastsnaffler]

me and my insatiable desire to Hang Out..

[pfreadsandwrites]

Kakashi NSFW Alphabet

18+ CONTENT AHEAD - NO MINORS - ANY MINORS CAUGHT INTERACTING WITH THIS POST WILL BE BLOCKED

Okay, attempt 2 - That’ll teach me to try ever posting from the mobile app. This is a rewrite from scratch and I’m way too tired to reread and see if it makes sense or if there are typos, it’s probably not a good thing this is longer than the original though.

No one asked for this, no one at all, and I know everyone’s done these but hey, it’s Kinktober, and you can never have too many Kakashi headcanons, right? Right? Right. I hope you enjoy these!! Goes without saying that these’ll be smutty. It’s also about 6.4k words. There is some real filth ahead, very nsfw, seriously, the thirst is so real. (I hate myself), so, this is 18+ only!

Also, I'm tagging @allthingskakashi​ because she asked me to (i really hope these aren’t disappointing)

Side note: This is all written from the view of an established relationship. I can kinda remember most of what I said, so these will be still be very long despite being a rewrite from scratch. Apologies for any rambles and tangents I might go on, since I was rewriting this, my brain got weird and tired, but I wanna take you through my thoughts. I’m also very concerned about keeping things in character and not self-indulgent/self-projecting of what the writer’s personally into so I won’t be doing that here... You’ll see what I mean as I go on. But I still wanna make it hot so i’ll try lol. I’m new to writing but I’m even newer to writing dirty stuff so i’ll try my best. And with this post goes my dignity

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Straight after sex is one of the rare times where Kakashi feels completely at ease and relaxed. He’s pensive, often quietly mulling over what you two have just been doing and trying to come to grips with it, his hands gently running through your hair or along your back. He’s probably at his most affectionate here too. Expect gentle, lazy caresses, little kisses here and there, soft, easy conversation. He might not always be the most talkative, but post-coitus is where you’ll most likely hear him say something earnest and romantic compared to other times. You’ve gotta understand, you’re a miracle, and you being in his arms is like heaven, but he can’t really believe it? But he’s also overwhelmed and tired to let it bother him too much, so he’s able to let his doubt and restraints go a little easier and just breathe. He feels safe, he feels at home and that’s a rare thing, so he’s really just happy to bask in the afterglow and the quietude of it all. It’s the safest, easiest thing in the world for the both of you.

If he’s been on the rougher side, he’ll definitely make sure you’re alright and be more gentle in comparison. and he’s generally more attentive than usual. He’s usually nice about cleaning you up, too, a gentleman lmao.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Kakashi quite likes his upper body, or his torso more generally. He’s lean and broad, but not in an overbearing or obvious way, and he really likes the reaction he gets when you actually do get to see him shirtless. He’s also a little sensitive on his back (and he doesn’t mind if you end up scratching it). But if you rub his shoulders or massage his back or chest, he’s putty in your hands.

When it comes to a partner? So the fandom seems to be consistent in thinking of Kakashi as an ass man, and I’m inclined to agree. He just loves to grab it, slap it, just look at it tbh or whatever, but even if you don’t think your ass is that great, there’s very high probability that he does anyway. But honestly I think he’d have a hard time picking a favourite part of your body.

Some other body parts he definitely loves that don’t get mentioned though: he just loves your waist and how it curves in and out into your hips. He’s mesmerised by it.

plz imagine Kakashi’s nice big hands running gently running along your waist while he thrusts into you deep and slow, your back arching and then they settle on your hips?

Also, he loooooves legs, how they feel wrapped around him, the soft thighs omg. When you wear stockings or heels or other things that accentuate them, ahajhfkaj have mercy on him. Also, wrists and ankles? They’re so pretty and delicate he’ll just grab them where he can. If you both are in some kinda position where he can, he’ll definitely give you lil ankle kisses. also wear an anklet to see him blush

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

So uh, I’m really doing this, huh?

Soooo hear me out. Kakashi’s diet is impeccable. I don’t take criticism here lmao, it’s been mentioned multiple times how much he hates deep fried stuff and sweets (yeah yeah he’s one of those weirdoes that enjoys healthy food most, Kakashi we get it) and he’s always feeding Naruto veggies (or trying to). My point? His cum would taste good, okay? Or at least, not strong or bad at all, very neutral if not good. (You have zero problems swallowing)

Also, he cums a pretty good amount. He tends to try and hold back his orgasm so when he does come it does build up. Coming inside you is his favourite, just the intimacy of it, of filling you like that.

But…. he’s pretty ashamed of it at first, but he does love coming on his partner. Whether it’s on your face (ughhhh when you lick up some of his cum around your mouth after a blowjob), or your breasts, or your back, or wherever tbh. He doesn’t know whether it’s the visuals, the eroticism of it or even a territorial aspect? He doesn’t wanna ponder it too much it’s just hot okay.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

So this one was hard… because, unpopular opinion, I don't see him as into anything too crazy or depraved?

But here’s what I came up with: he’s totally fucked in the Hokage’s office. It’s only a dirty secret because of how improper that is, how inappropriate it is that the man in charge of the whole village is having sex in the very epicentre of where he’s supposed to be doing that, when other Hokage have been in that room before him… but it’s also why he’s into it.

Also, he’ll die before he ever admits to you exactly how many times he’s jerked off to the thought of you. And after you got together into a pair of your panties when you were away and he missed you too much

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Short version: Kakashi’s not as experienced as you might think, but this doesn’t translate into lack of skill in any way.

The long version: Ahhh so I go back on forth on this but I’ma attempt to think this through here. Okay, so, fandom has generally two sides when it comes to Kakashi and this topic. He’s either the completely suave, smooth ladies’ man who has all the one night stands or on account of his issues he’s a passive, stuttering virgin who’s constantly flustered.

Neither of these are that accurate. So I do get ladies man Kakashi to a point. It comes from the fact that he is quite smooth? And women do seem to like him quite easily in the series. And Kakashi definitely has the capacity to be a charmer, and is quite good at flirting when his job requires it or it’s a stranger etc. He’s good at reading people and winning them over. This is more complicated when he’s faced with someone he’s attracted to, or that has the potential to mean something to him. He still might be charming, but he’s very good at using this to keep you further from him, so you can’t really get to know him or get close to him so it’s not quite the same. It’s his way of controlling the distance between you.

Now, when it comes to experience, I don’t think Kakashi’s incapable of using casual sex as some kind of a coping mechanism (it’s not the healthiest), but if he was going to do this, it’d be during the latter part of his ANBU years. I can see him having sex as just a means to forget and remember he’s alive, and quell an urge, with basically faceless partners, or maybe complete strangers on missions. This does make him feel even lonelier after a while though, and it’s not really what he wants. Eventually having sex with women he’ll never see again serves to make him more miserable, and I think by the time we see him at the beginning of the series he doesn’t really do this anymore. So I wouldn’t say he’s completely inexperienced sexually at least, though he definitely is romantically.

Generally after that, Kakashi’s gonna reserve sex for someone who he has a deep emotional and physical connection with, but God forbid he ever calls it what it is - a relationship. Basically, if he’s sleeping with you, he pretty much loves you whether he knows it or not. And if he’s comparing that to his past experiences, he really feels the difference and cherishes it all the more (but it still scares him and he won’t admit it to himself.

So here’s how I see it. There’s always been a sexual chemistry between him and you, and a physical and romantic attraction. But of course Kakashi is Kakashi so he does absolutely nothing about it and doesn’t want to let you do anything about it. Still, you’re surprisingly persistent, and you do become close to each other in a friendly capacity, in whatever way Kakashi’s able to participate in that. Eventually, ( I haven’t thought this through quite yet) you do end up fucking and Kakashi tries to convince himself that he can just do that, that he can keep up having great sex with a great friend and that you don’t mean the world to him. You try to do the same, for his benefit, but you’re in deep and neither of you can’t deny there’s a bond and your connection is so strong that you’re basically in a relationship - and you kinda are by the time you start having sex - but he doesn’t really have the balls to actually call it that till after the 4th shinobi war. (I have some thoughts about how the war impacted Kakashi’s psychology but it’s generally then when he’ll genuinely feel comfortable enough to fully commit himself to you and see a future for himself, which he’s never really had before, and a future with you to boot).

To bring it back to this (I’m sorry what a fucking tangent), Kakashi’s maybe not had sex with a large amount of women, but he’s a quick learner and has natural skill. He also learns your body and what you like quickly. So whilst he’s not as experienced as he seems, he’s definitely more skilled than he has any right to be.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

When it comes to positions there’s very little he wouldn’t enjoy tbh. He does have an affinity for positions like doggy style, just the visuals and the power it gives him. It’s easy for him to get a bit carried away though, but that’s his go to when he’s feeling rougher.

When it’s more romantic and slow and sensual, he also loves variations of missionary, because he loves the intimacy of the eye contact, and how your body is so close he can hear your heartbeat but his absolute favourite positions are missionary variations where your legs are on his shoulders, or where he’s spreading your thighs as perpendicular as possible and really testing your flexibility are probably his favourite cuz legs, and he can go even deeper and get an amazing angle.

But he definitely likes it when you ride him too, whether you’re facing him or away, it just feels too good when you’re bouncing on him like that. Also it’s nice to relax a bit and not have to do more of the work… plz take care of him from time to time…

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He definitely has the capacity to be a fucking dork, as we know, and this has the potential to translate to his sex life. It’s a sign of complete ease if he can laugh and joke with you during, and he loves to have fun and play around with you, but at the same time, he does prefer to be serious most of the time. This means a lot to him and he’ll make sure you know that. He’s also gonna get a bit exasperated if you don’t seem to be taking it as seriously as him, or if you’re too into jokes and giggles for his liking that day. Probably will try and shut you up one way or another.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

(Ughh okay so the idea of Kakashi with a silver happy trail leading to a messy shockwave of hair down there really does things to me okay, I’m sorry, I’ll see myself out)

Okay so… Have you seen how Kakashi manages his hair? Spoiler alert: he doesn’t. I don’t even know if this man owns a hairbrush. So I can definitely see him not being assed about shaving his bush. It’s probably kind of wild, or at the very least more on the unkempt side.

But then again he’s assed enough to keep his face clean shaven so he can wear his mask, so maybe he does, like I do head canon that he’s a very clean person and he probably feels like it is a *bit* cleaner that way but I’m leaning towards nah he just leaves it alone, but will trim it from time to time when it gets too wild or if it bothers you. I do think he probably has slightly more body hair than you’d expect tbh, but his hair is so light especially against his complexion so it’s not really noticeable. Oh and obviously, the carpet matches the drapes. (Idk why this made me imagine Kakashi with a ginger bush..  LMAO there’s a thought)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

It does depend on the mood between you, what kinda day he’s had, what position you’re in etc but he places a lot of value on sex in your relationship, for the intimacy and emotional bonding, not just the physical pleasure. So there are a lot of times where he’d be super intimate. Kakashi’s a man who chooses his words and actions very carefully in normal life and during sex he allows himself to let all that go. His actions really convey the depth of what you mean to him, what being with you like this means to him. He’ll hold you close to him, running his hands all over your body just to feel you everywhere, kiss you everywhere you can whilst he moves, bury his face into your neck, breathe you in - he just is very overwhelmed by this and there are times during your most intimate moments where he’s so in awe and so happy that he could die right there.

That being said, if he’s fucking you over his desk in the hokage’s office and it’s rough and fast, it’s a little harder to feel the intimacy and the romantic connection. Still, it is underlying every moment between you too. You’re the only ones that see these sides of each other, and make each other feel that way, and he really values that. He’ll still make it feel tender somehow and not just mindless fucking (no matter how blank he makes your head feel)

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I don’t see him as being a particularly frequent masturbator tbh. He strikes me as disciplined and he can probably go a while without it, especially if he’s busy, but more than just that, he kinda sees it as an inconvenience he just has to do sometimes? To blow off some steam, or when he’s not had sex in a while or something got his mind racing and it’s a distraction because he literally can’t think about anything else. He’ll probably use his books, but he prefers to use his imagination tbh, though the books can start as a seed for that.

He also doesn’t like having to put too much effort into jerking himself off? He doesn’t like to overcomplicate things when it comes to his sex life, and especially when it’s just jacking off.

He just kinda wants to get it done so he can move on to something more productive or fall asleep or something. So he’s just happy to pump himself off until he gets there.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Okay here’s where I’m gonna lose some of you.

Kakashi’s just not that kinky. Or maybe not kinky by tumblr/fic standards. Like I said in the previous head canon, he just does not see the appeal of making his sex life more complicated than it needs to be and his kinks aren’t gonna be too crazy. He just wants to feel good with you and he’s not that difficult to get going. With that in mind, here are some things he likes:

Spanking ;)

Teasing

Face-fucking

Dirty Talk (to a point, anything too stupid sounding or too dirty might make him laugh or take him out of it…)

clothed sex (where you are so horny for each other you can’t even wait to get undressed properly)

semi-public sex (he would hate the idea of actually being seen but the idea of *almost* being caught is kinda hot to him, not that he’ll ever let that happen if he can help it),

body worship (is that a kink)

LIGHT dom (I’ll mention it more later but he’s not too extreme into this stuff, but if you call him Hokage-sama or captain he might get a little too into it… not that that’s bad) I heard someone call him general during the war arc and that shit SENT me

he maaaay do a a threesome with shadow clones (either two of his if you want that, but two of you seem kinda hot… that being said, this might delve into that ‘making things too complicated’ so Idk, this might just be hot to me cuz I would like two Kakashis to rail me and I do think he’d enjoy it if two of you focused on him),

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

The bed is fine but that’s really what he associates with either morning sex, or romantic, intimate lovemaking type stuff. When it’s more raunchy and playful, he really likes bending you over stuff tbh, his desk, kitchen counter etc most surfaces work well. He likes the shower too. Also, one time you both were just so hot for each other and didn’t make it to the bed and went at it on the hard floor and it was so wild and rough.

But he really loves fucking you up against walls, doors, mirrors, etc, Wall is his favourite, it’s just so intense and he gets animalistic and yeah it’s so good.

WAIT, how did I forget, sex in front of the mirror?! This is something he enjoys more with a more flustered or shy s/o who’s not used to looking at themselves. I have been thinking about writing something for this

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Kakashi’s more on the traditional side in terms of what he likes but it’s really not that hard to turn him on. He loooooveeees when you wear lingerie for him, anything pretty and lacy but also stockings and all that. But then there’s something about when it’s simplistic too, like when you’re just wearing his shirt and nothing else? That’ll get him going too. But yeah, plz surprise him with a sexy outfit when he comes home from a long day of work and he’ll love you 5ever.

I dunno why I’ve always thought this, but I also think he’s turned on by subtle, understated signs of femininity? It’s just such a contrast to what he’s used to and he really appreciates it and is just mesmerised by you tbh. It’s things that are natural, the way when you sit down your hips get that crease where they meet your thighs, you might sometimes look down when you smile softly, the way you walk, pretty hair. If you have a really classical, elegant/sophisticated kind of style he loves that. Kinda hard to explain what I mean with that but like, say a dress or skirt that shows off your curves but isn’t too revealing? It really gets his mind racing. That make sense? (No worries if that’s not your style either, like I say, it’s not that hard to turn him on) But I also think he kinda likes when you wear jewellery? Like nothing too ostentatious but if you’re naked beneath him and the only thing you’re wearing is a necklace or some fancy earrings he just thinks you look so beautiful.

He also likes the comfortable, gentle teasing and flirting in the conversations you have, the jovial aspect to them, the connotations they carry. You could say one comment and not mean a whole lot by it and it might get his mind racing. He’ll think about you all day.

I mentioned before but offering to massage his back/chest/shoulders is his favourite, and if you kiss his jawline or neck even innocently it might not be innocent for very long ;) just when you’re generally affectionate and gentle with him.

He’d definitely enjoy it if you were confident, but I also feel like he’d like a shyer s/o too? If you were a little easier to fluster than he is, he finds it much easier to be confident and make you feel that much better ;) he likes making you blush.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Okay, here’s where I’m definitely gonna lose some of you. But hang with me.

Short version: He doesn’t really like BDSM, be nice to him and let him be

Long version (I’m sorry guys):

By the time Kakashi’s in a loving relationship with you, he’s shown you his vulnerability and he trusts you, and he’s happy to try things within reason, but he has boundaries. And he expects you to respect them, just like he respects yours. You’re gonna frustrate him and make him close off if you’re wanting to push him to try new stuff or go out of his comfort zone. He can be set in his ways. If he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t want to. So if that’s not cool for you, that’s a turn-off.

He’s not into role-reversal. This is a tricky one to explain (and I’d explained it better in my first version of this that got lost to the void but alas this is where my memory is getting hazy), but though he’s a man with a lot of power and responsibility and control, these things aren’t necessarily things he’s insecure about or that come unnaturally to him. They’re not a persona or things he’s necessarily putting a lot of effort into being. He just is. He’s self-aware of his own abilities and strengths and he’s very a-matter-of-fact about them. I guess what I’m saying is, the more masculine attributes of his personality and demeanour that make some people say he’s DaddyAF and others say he’s probably not like that sexually, are just who he is naturally. He’s not putting effort into being these things and does not see the appeal of working to reverse this in the bedroom, or better yet, doesn’t really understand it. It’s way more effort for him to do that than it is for him to just be who he is. I could go way more into the psychology of this but this thing is long enough already but part of that accepting him for who he is is just letting him be. I’m saying he’s in no way a sub, basically.

But he’s not a huge dom, either. He’s actually really not into anything hardcore when it comes to dom/sub or bdsm stuff like at all. Like he’s not gonna be your daddy or your master or anything like that. He really values ease above all else and is happy to just enjoy the two of you and your body without adding extra layers of extreme power dynamics and kinks on top of it. He’s happy to be more on the authoritative side, which is why I say light dom, and it’s more natural for him to take the lead, but he’s not thinking about it too hard. I also don’t think he’d be averse to some mild power play - in that mean he likes it when you get a little cheeky, tease him, you can make fun of him, there’s a bit of cat and mouse between you, but if you’re too much into control or power that actually might bring out his rougher dominant side a bit more than normal. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not incapable of lying back and letting you do your thing.

…But he is still a bit of a control freak at heart and he doesn’t want to feel like something could go wrong, so if you make him feel like he can’t do anything about the situation or having no control at all is likely gonna be a bad experience for him.The other thing is that Kakashi doesn’t feel like he’s had control over his life where it counts, and he still feels pretty shitty about himself a lot. He’s not gonna wanna relinquish all control during his sex life, no matter how much he trusts you. He’d hate feeling completely passive, and if you humiliate him you’re just gonna make him feel shitty. He doesn’t wanna humiliate you either. So what I’m saying is, he’s just not into femdom or extreme male sub stuff or anything like that, sorry not sorry. He’s felt shitty enough in his life for you to turn it into a kink. He’s a pretty chill guy, but he still has his comfort zone, and he trusts you enough to be vulnerable, don’t take advantage of that. Be kind to Kakashi Hatake 2020.

With everything I’ve said so far, he’s never gonna let you peg him. It’s not something that really appeals to him visually or psychologically, plus any kind of receiving anal stimulation is just not really his thing. Leave Kakashi Hatake’s asshole alone 2020. Also, he doesn’t like the plastic/artificialness of toys in general, he’d much rather genuine skin on skin contact and feeling your body and you his, and just yeah you having to use toys on him will turn him off or seeing you in a way, that’s you know, not you, with an artificial appendage is just, a big no for him. Probably has the exact opposite effect you’d want. 

He’d also never wanna hurt you, or be into you hurting him. If it doesn’t trigger his PTSD or his tendency to self-loathe like all the other things I mentioned, he’s been getting hurt his whole life so he’s likely not gonna enjoy this in the bedroom, it’s either banal to him or a complete turn-off at the least. He’s self-aware enough to know it’s not gonna be the healthiest thing for him to sexualise it. He’s also hurt too many people to do something that could potentially hurt you, so no weapons, ninja techniques, things like that. I don’t think he’d even be into choking you. He just wants to relax, and enjoy himself and being with you in a way where he can feel safe, but not passive, and he loves having a partner that can allow him to do that.

So a partner being too dominant to the point of making him feel shitty and weak would be a turn-off, or just generally one that’s impatient or unkind. You’ll need to be empathetic and warm to get anywhere with him anyway, or at least you’ll struggle otherwise. Also, he wouldn’t ever want a threesome. It’s taken so much out of him to build up trust and intimacy between you, he’s sure that introducing another person, even if it’s only a one time thing, would ruin it. He also doesn’t want anyone other than you to see him in that way, or vice versa.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

So I don’t know why but I feel like Kakashi sees eating you out as such a special, intimate act? It’s a big deal, and this is something he probably wouldn’t do with someone he doesn’t have a strong connection to, or not as much. But when he does love you, your responses and the whole act are just mesmerising to him. Maybe it’s how vulnerable delicate you seem, how your moans are more gentle and delicate compared to when he’s fucking you, how he’s up and close against your most private parts, how he’s the only one that sees you like this… It really gets him going tbh, but it also takes a lot out of him? It just ends up meaning more to him than a blowjob might mean to you. So he might actually end up receiving more than he gives, despite the fact that he enjoys it and is very good at it. I don’t mind I’ll suck his dick 25/8

Like most men, he’ll be putty in your hands if you give him a good blowjob. It’s one of those things that never cease to amaze him or drive him crazy, no matter how many times you’ve done it, the sight of you on your knees, sucking him down. He’ll feel guilty but he face-fucks you sometimes, and it feels amazing, but he honestly might let himself get carried away. So he’ll sometimes grab your hair or clench his fist instead, otherwise he’ll just try to gently guide your ahead along sometimes. His moans during blowjobs are also damn hot as well. Like guttural groans and moans, he’s louder than normal.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends with Kakashi! Whether it’s a quickie, the position, where you’re doing it. He has a penchant for slow and sensual though. He wants to savour you, the sensation, the moment, the sights, everything. He really wants to bask in the intimacy of what’s going on and go as deep as he can and take his time. He likes taking it easy.

But there’s always gonna be moments where he can be pretty damn animalistic and rough and he’s pretty good with that too. Though, where he has the time to do so, he likes to build up to it? Occasionally he’ll be too pent up/frustrated or too short on time to really do it but like if time and space allows he doesn’t wanna start ramming into you like right away, he wants you to adjust, and will slowly fuck you until you’re really want it as crazily as he does.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He likes a good quickie, or rather, they’re his only option sometimes. He’s a busy guy who can’t always plan his schedule, and this goes tenfold when he becomes Hokage. So whilst his favourite will also be something longer where he can take his time and enjoy your body, you’re gonna have to accept that there will be periods where all you’ll get is quickies in his office, or in the morning before he has to leave.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

So despite all that stuff I listed about all the things he won’t do, he’s willing to try a lot of stuff with you. He does enjoy experimenting and he thinks it’s fun and brings you guys closer together, but within reason. He doesn’t wanna do anything too complicated or too strange by his standards, but he’ll be up for new locations, new positions, and he is risky in the sense that he won’t mind doing some stuff in public, or semi-public at least.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

So it’s definitely better when he doesn’t have his sharingan constantly sapping his energy anymore, but not to the point that you really noticed there being a problem before. He just puts a lot of effort and concentration into not cumming before you, and he’s pretty good at that. Depending on how pent up he is, he can last a decent amount of time. But if he has lasted quite a long time, when he finally does cum, he might not be in the mood to go again.

I see him going for like, one short round and one long one. Or if it’s shorter his recovery time’s pretty decent. But if you get ever happen to get three or more rounds of him in one go you should definitely praise him or take care of him cuz that’s pretty difficult and his dick might be broken for the next few days.

The only time his ability to hold back his orgasm goes to shit is when you’re having his way with him by riding him or sucking him off. You’re just too good have mercy on him But he’s better able to control that stuff and slow down and take breaks when he needs to when he’s the one leading things.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Nah, this harkens back to the whole thing about him not wanting to overcomplicate things and just have fun without thinking too much. He can’t be assed with toys and won’t use them on himself. I also mentioned earlier that he doesn’t like the fakeness/artificiality of toys, just the gimmicky-ness of it, the plastics... Nah. He wants to feel something real. Besides it’s canon how crazy this man’s physical skill is, his hands, his fingers… He’s completely satisfied with just his hands. And you are too

If it means a lot to you, he can use toys on you. But let’s be honest I really don’t think you’ll feel the need.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Kakashi is a little shit, we all know this. He loves to tease and edge, and he just loves seeing how frustrated you get, your scolding, knowing that you still can’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to do, your annoyed little whines and huffs… But he always more than makes up for it later.

He is so bad at receiving teasing though, he cannot withstand as much as you can, which is lame, considering how much he can put you through.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not that loud, though there are times he can be. When he’s getting close to cumming, when he finally does are probably his loudest. But generally, his noises are so so nice. He makes soft little grunts and pants mostly, but he’ll growl and groan, whisper your name.. But sometimes you can get a semi-loud moan out of hiim and omg it’s so so hot.

He’s a little louder when he’s tired, or first thing in the morning? He’s more sensitive. When he’s not having to concentrate so much or think too much about what’s going on, he’ll get a little louder. He’s also louder when you’re riding him than in other positions.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

You know what I’ve gone in so deep with this head canons that I can’t think of a random one and I can’t remember what I wrote yesterday.

So Kakashi really appreciates just physical contact with you, wherever it might be. It doesn’t necessarily need to be sexual either but it makes him feel at ease. I said this already too, but Kakashi loves the comfort of just being vanilla. Nothing special, nothing elaborate, no gimmicks, just him on top of you, with your legs around his hips, as he drives into you. It’s literally just you and him in the world and that’s all there needs to be and nothing’s ever felt more right than that.  

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

It’s canon Kakashi is big need I say more. Okay I’ll say more. So it’s pretty long and thick. It’s not like monster huge but he’ll definitely take some adjusting. Probs uncut, and the same girth all the way down. Also kinda veiny, there’s some big ones on the underside. You’ll definitely feel him throb inside you.  But his body is nice too, but we been knowing that. He’s lean, and muscular, but in an understated way. He also has really nice legs? Like his thighs are good. The only time I saw his legs was in ep 101 of og Naruto but I was very pleased tbh. Like they’re well-trained but not crazy muscular like those men who work out a lot get… do you know what I mean? The round calves and stuff? He doesn’t have that. He also has a very nice ass. Gets flustered if you stare at it or slap it. Please do though his reaction is so cute.

Anyways, back to his dick, the colour is slightly darker than the rest of his body and the tip a tad darker than that. I remember seeing a picture on twitter and omg I couldn’t like it cuz I need some semblance of keeping my twitter professional but omg I saved the link, this is it though, the artist gets him perfectly.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It’s high but nothing ridiculous. He’s controlled enough where he can go a while without it, but this is harder once he has a partner.

Once you guys have settled into each other and grown comfortable, he’s probably up for it 3-4 times a week, but depends on you and both of your schedules too. Sometimes it’s more, sometimes less.  But he’s a busy guy and has tons of things going on so as much as he’d like to, he can’t think about having sex extremely frequently. He’s also gonna have periods where he physically can’t see you that much, so the times you do see each other might be spent having sex so it might feel like it’s crazy high, but it’s more that he’s making up for lost time.

As he gets older his sex drive does decrease slightly, but not by much tbh. He’s very adaptable to your needs too. If you wanna fuck a lot that’s all great but if it’s like twice a day every day then calm down dang you might need to satisfy yourself. But if yours is a lot lower than is, he might struggle, but eh, he can manage.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Sex definitely depletes him and makes it easy to sleep, but he’ll normally wait for you to fall asleep. It’s a control thing and a protective thing, but he just feels a lot better about sleeping once you’re already there dozing off in his arms, and after sex is one of the rare times where he feels relaxed enough and his mind is empty enough where he can get a good night’s rest without any issues.  

[spookyhalloweennights]

Wrong Numbers (Arlenix:SFW)

You stared at the number your friends had texted you, claiming that it was the number for a dating hotline. The idea of calling a hotline for a date seemed almost absurd to you, but it kept resurfacing at the most inopportune times. Like now as you were waiting in line at the grocery store, your cart was just full enough to keep you held over till next payday, but the couple in front of you were practically oozing romance. A sigh escaped you as your brain had finalized your decision. After you got home, you’d give the number a call. 

You had unpacked the groceries, and were now sitting on your couch. The number was dialed into the keypad, now all you had to do was actually hit the dial button. You had to psych yourself up for it, taking a few extra moments before hitting the green call button. Pressing the phone to your ear, you held your breath as the line began to ring. It took three rings before someone had finally picked up the phone, a deep voice came through, though it was pleasant like a customer service representative should be and you couldn’t help the quiet giggle that escaped you as they began their usual routine it seemed. 

“Hell’s dating hotline, how can I help you?” They asked you, you could practically picture them sitting at a desk tapping their pencil against it. 

“Y-yeah, I’d like to request a date? Or a matchup…” You further explained, the person on the other line giving a long sigh as they shuffled around. 

“Of course, please explain yourself, looks, what you’re looking for, and most importantly what your species is.” They responded in a monotone voice. 

You froze for a moment before hesitantly beginning to describe what you were like, your hobbies, and what you looked like. You could hear the person chuckle quietly on the other end every time you paused and seemed to think a little more than what someone would. After you finished, you waited for a moment before quickly interjecting one last thing about yourself that you felt was really important. 

“I’m also asexual, I hope that it won’t be too hard to find a matchup because of that, I’m really looking forward to whoever you think would be a good fit.” You rambled while the other listened intently. The fear of not finding someone because of who you are made a sense of dread build up that wasn’t relieved until the person on the other line had spoke again.

“That changes things up, alright sweetcheeks let’s see who we got in store for you.” They hummed, time seemed to stand still as you waited for the response. 

“I see you’d be a perfect fit for our Arlenix, he’s a sweetheart. I’ll share your contact details with him, and will send you his information as well. You will receive a text holding all of the information, please let me know if you receive it.” They explained to you, waiting for your confirmation on whether or not you got the text. 

You pulled the phone away from your ear as a text message from an unknown sender popped up, you clicked it open which revealed all of the necessary contact information for your match. You put the phone back up and confirmed you had indeed received the text. They then had wished you a good day and good luck with your match. 

Arlenix was the one to initiate the conversation with enthusiasm that you were quick to match. The conversation with Arlenix seemed to never falter or get awkward, they were right, he was an absolute sweetheart. The match was almost too good to be true, they couldn’t have paired you with a better person. 

You had suggested meeting up, but there had always seemed to be some kind of excuse that came from him. You figured perhaps he wasn’t confident enough in himself, or he really was just that busy. Either way, it was starting to eat at you not knowing what he looked like. There was only so far your imagination could take you, and you desperately wanted to know who exactly you were talking to. 

“Hey, Arlenix?” You tried catching his attention the one night you were on a call with him. He hummed in response, letting you know that he was paying attention. “Can we meet up? Please? I really like you and…” A sigh from the other end had you pausing in your words. 

“I really don’t think you’d like me but… Since you’ve asked, I don’t see why not… I’ll text you the address to meet me at later, okay? I gotta run.” Arlenix mumbled as the line went dead. You sighed before tucking your phone away into your pocket. 

You had checked, double checked and even triple checked your text messages, the address for the music store glowed brightly on the screen. It was almost fifteen minutes after Arlenix was supposed to meet you and you had yet to catch sight of him. You were just beginning to lose hope when the bell above the door had rung. Glancing up, you noticed a lanky figure glancing around, he was hunched over so he wasn’t as tall as what he should be. Spikes that looked to be made of bones rose up along his back right along the center while bat-like wings were tucked close to his body so they wouldn’t snag on anything. 

His eyes were pupil-less and black, his hands were more claw-like you noticed as he gave you a slight wave. Ah. That must be Arlenix. You glanced down at your phone, pulling up the messages from your friend who had sent you the message in the first place discreetly as you offered him a wave back with a smile. Noting the difference in the two numbers, that's where it had gone wrong. You had called the wrong hotline, and somehow managed to call a demon dating hotline. Not that you minded, if anything you enjoyed Arlenix’s conversation more. 

Arlenix moved towards you, shuffling about carefully as to not destroy anything in the shop until he had reached you. He held out a small bouquet of flowers and you took them gratefully. 

After the first date came the second, then the third and so on until you couldn’t keep track of them. You had yet to figure out what Arlenix actually was, as he wasn’t an ordinary demon, those you had seen and they didn’t look like him. He wouldn’t reveal it to you, not even after he had moved in with you after a few months of dating. The thought was always tucked away in the back of your mind, and it was during one of the routine cuddling sessions you two had when you had brought up the topic again.

“Arlenix, what are you? I know you’re not a regular demon, those I’ve seen and none of them look like you.” You mumbled, feeling his gaze shift down towards you. 

“It’s not important, besides… What if I scare you away when I tell you what I am?” He asked, genuine fear in his voice as his grip on you tightened just a little more. You turned in his lap to face him, huffing quietly. 

“I’m not going anywhere, no matter what you say or do, we can work things out. I’ve been with you long enough, if I didn’t like you I would’ve left after realizing I had dialed the wrong number for a dating hotline.” You responded, gently brushing your fingers across his cheek and he leaned into the touch with a pleased sigh. 

Silence fell between the pair of you until he shifted slightly, running his fingers through your hair before he began to speak. “I’m an incubus.” The words fell from his lips like a ton of bricks, his shoulders tensing as he awaited your reaction. 

“But not a normal one since we’ve never…” You trailed off, not completing the sentence as Arlenix nodded in response. 

“I had tried, repeatedly, I mean that’s what an incubus is supposed to do right? But… I felt gross afterwards, and I had never initiated it. It was always the opposite party starting things. I didn’t know that you could not want sex, for my kind its practically unheard of. I had asked to be taken off the list for incubi when it came to summoning and tried other jobs. When I heard about the hotline, I thought that perhaps it could give me the chance at something I really wanted to, so I had signed up.” He explained, rubbing at his eyes in a way that would make you think he was trying to keep from crying. 

“But then… How do you feed?” You asked, giving him a reassuring squeeze as he seemed to relax just a bit, you hadn’t yelled or left him yet so it must be okay. 

“Like this? I uhm, figured out how to feed off of emotional intimacy and well… Cuddling like this without hurting my partner or making them feel drained. That’s how I knew they had matched me with the right person. You weren’t afraid when you first saw me, you were intrigued.” He mumbled quietly, resting his chin on top of your head. 

“Arlenix?” He glanced down at you when you tried to get his attention. “Thank you for answering that question, I love you for who you are, not what you are. The cuteness I get is just bonus points.” You teased lightly, watching as his face flushed with color. 

“I’m really glad you misdialed that number.” He muttered with a huff, which only made you laugh in response.

[toflyandfall]

YAY :D! OK, I wanted to please ask what your thoughts were on Dick and Shawn's relationship. Did you feel it was in character? Did you feel it made sense? Did you want them to last or did you feel it came out of left field and didn't make any sense? How did you feel about the pregnancy scare and how they broke up ("I know what I said/did was shitty but we can fix this. We can make this work!") - does it sound like Dick? I'm also happy ur still here. I'm so used to asking you & Shelly so thank u!

I'll be honest with you, anon--DC burnt me hard with the Spyral travesty and then putting Tom King on Batman and keeping Seeley on Nightwing, so I don't keep up with current DC comics.  I don’t enjoy them and nearly without exception I don’t find them to be written well or in character. However, you're very sweet and I want to help fill the meta void in your life, so I read through Dick and Shawn's arc together and here's my analysis.

 I’m dividing this into two parts.  The first half will be as objective as possible and analyze your questions on whether Dick seems in character, what he says during the break up, etc.  It’s roughly chronological, starting when we first meet Shawn and continuing through to the break up itself.

The second half I’ll put under a readmore, as it’ll answer your questions about my more subjective opinions about the arc.

 Let’s start by looking at Dick’s previous and most happy relationships to see what good indicators for an in-character relationship would be.

  Getting physically involved with someone -before- having a secure emotional connection with them is not in character for him.  All of Dick's major relationships have been preceded by extended periods of mutual flirtation and bonding before physical overtures.  His most significant and longest lasting romantic connections began by building emotional and romantic attachment before sexual intimacy, frequently paired with a shared history together that precedes even the flirtation.  

There’s significant canon evidence that he’s demi sexual: a comprehensive, though hardly exhaustive, collection of it can be found here and here (the latter half of the second link relates to the Grayson series specifically, but overall it offers a nice long view on his relationship history since character creation and also addresses beyond-canon factors at DC that impacted some relevant canon writings.)  Whether you use the label demi for him or not, it’s canon that he’s not comfortable jumping into bed without a secure emotional connection.

 So let’s look at Shawn’s relationship with Dick through the lens of relationships in which he was the happiest and most comfortable.  Those relationships have these things in common:  

He has a stable, safe emotional connection to the individual.

He is willing and comfortable engaging in banter and flirtation.  

Relationship is based on mutual respect and affection, often paired with shared history together.

Now, let’s look at Shawn’s relationship.

Their ‘history’ together (as Defacer and Robin) is antagonistic, and their interaction in the past leave Dick feeling uneasy. Sure, he seems to think about her situation, but as this panel reads, the kindest that can be said of any emotional connection there seems to be here is one-sided pity.

Nightwing #10 (Nightwing: Back to Bludhaven)

Once they meet again, she’s his boss.  Even or perhaps especially in the world of #MeToo, it’s important to address workplace relationships, particularly boss/employee scenarios, with care and sensitivity.  Seeley sidesteps this by just…having her later quit the non-profit she founded and giving Dick her position for a while.  However, even if she’d just worked in HR at an equal level with him when they met instead of being his boss, let’s look at the amount of participation he shows in their first meeting:

Nightwing #10 (Nightwing: Back to Bludhaven)

There is a lot of her talking and almost none of him.  He’s not engaged in their interaction here.  Where he tries later as Nightwing to engage more personally, he’s immediately shut down.  The most dialogue we hear from him is in his own head—in their first meeting, the ratio of her dialogue to his is literally 22 sentences to 9.  Of those 9 sentences, one is a lie he gives to avoid establishing an emotional connection with her, another she interrupts, and three of which were less than five words long: “Sorry.” “You can call me Dick” and “Thanks, Ms Chang”.  Even taking the workplace environment into account as best we can, this is not meeting any of the three criteria for Dick to be feeling emotionally attachment or attraction.  No one would look at those 9 almost-sentences and that flashback and say, “Ah yes, this man is deeply infatuated with her.”  

This is made even more jarring by the fact that the internal narration frequently doesn’t match the actual scenes we’ve witnessed.   

Nightwing #11 (Nightwing: Back to Bludhaven)

Nothing about the few sentences Dick has managed to finish around Shawn when this narration comes up has said ‘attraction’, physical or otherwise, but the dialogue here reads like Dick was laying the flirtations on thick every time he saw her.  Same with when they talk about the flashback scene later.  There’s a lot of cognitive disconnect between what Seeley wants to tell us happened and what we actually see and hear and have evidence of between the characters.

If you’re wondering why I’m examining these initial interactions with particular depth, it is because frankly, these are the most interactions the two have together for roughly the first five issues of their ‘getting to know each other’ phase...and when they reunite at the end of those issues, we are supposed to believe they are already heavily, life-changingly in love.  So, for all intents and purposes, this scattered handful of conversations is all we have to analyze to examine whether this fits the qualifications for whether Dick would feel comfortable and emotionally attached enough to approach a physical relationship.

We have three chances in their various guises for Dick and Shawn to meet and start developing that all-important rapport.  This is our first initiation to their relationship and it certainly doesn’t read as a positive one.  The next one, she yells at him and kicks him out—again, a whole page of her dialogue to a fragmented sentence of his.  The third one, the flashback panel posted above, they don’t even speak to each other. Two of them are actively red-flags of being unable to establish a closer connection with that person; the third is a neutral connection.  This is not the kind of two-way interaction we see where he’s comfortable and interested in someone, and this is not an emotionally secure connection.  

Shawn disappears for three issues or so, during which they have, obviously, no interactions.

The very next after that, by the end of it, she lunges into him to kiss him.  

The next issue after that, they’re evidently in honeymoon heaven and already shacking up.  

Trust me, we’ll be going over that under the readmore later.

Back in the area of the objective, if you ever need to know the number of days Tim Seeley thinks is needed for two people with self-admitted enormous trust issues to form the ideal Hollywood manic pixie dream girl relationship, we were given a careful timeline.  

68 days—first date

Nightwing #15 (Nightwing: Back to Bludhaven)

62 days—first intercourse.

Nightwing #15 (Nightwing: Back to Bludhaven)

Six days.  Not even a week.

They’ve met each other, then met each other’s parents and are living together and are one baby scare away from the suburbs in less time than it takes for someone to finish a semester at college.  It took literally longer for the issues of Nightwing where Shawn was an absent character in her own arc to get published in our real lives than it did for their on-panel romance to go from not even knowing each other to Nightwing (not Dick, but Nightwing) kissing Shawn (not Defacer, but Shawn) upside down in the middle of the city.

Trust issues, amirite?

Nightwing #15 (Nightwing: Back to Bludhaven)

Meanwhile during that mostly off-panel ‘dating’ period we have these wildly out of character moments. In particular, there are two noteworthy things.

Shawn says she never would have pinned Dick for being a traditionalist.  

That directly contradicts…well…most of the statements people close to him have made of his dating views, and also his own self-stated views of them, whose top tracks include things like “…this might sound unhip, but I feel strange about living with someone I’m not married to”, “I gotta be honest, Roy—I couldn’t make love to someone I didn’t really love”, and “Love should be between two people”.  

We have a direct parallel of an in-character Dick moment walking someone home after an early date to use for comparison.  

Nightwing #31  

Things Dick does in this panel: reassures his date there is no pressure for sex and the night will not be ending that way, plan out just about the most traditional date experience, and engage in light-hearted mutual bantering.  

Additional relevant context around this panel: Dick and Clancy have known each other for months and have a friendly, mutually respectful connection.  Dick’s turned down a sizable number of invitations from her because despite living in the same building, the vigilante life made it difficult for him to make and keep plans.  This is their second date because Dick had to bail in the middle of their first.  It took months both in comics-time and in real-time of developing a mutual interest to lead up to that first real date.  And by then, the reader is invested in the status of that relationship, too.

To contrast the then vs now, we also have in that same moment with Shawn Dick, of all people, ignores a phone call without a second thought in favor of trying for a booty call. On the first date.  Let’s take a look at Dick and Clancy’s first date, 9 issues earlier than the one we just saw.

Nightwing #22  

Dick is a chronic workaholic, with all the associated inability to disconnect from his work while in relationships even during date night or intimate moments. It’s perfectly reasonable, considering that with his lifestyle choice, that phone call could be life or death for someone he loves, a stranger, or many, many someones, and it’s put significant strain on his past relationships when dating those not actively in the superhero lifestyle.  Clancy is, again, a great example of this--despite genuine interest on both sides, he blew her off at least half a dozen times because of vigilante emergencies before they even got to their first date.  And then despite their great rapport and a genuine interest in being there, he still ditched her in the middle of it when his phone rang.

What we see in Seeley’s Nightwing #15 not only runs directly contrary to significant chunks of his history and personality, it also tells a deeply upsetting story of a world where exists a horndog Dick Grayson who would risk other people’s lives to get laid with a chick he’s known less than a week.

They handle vigilante interruptions more in character in later issues once the relationship is established, but...yikes. 

Not in character.

We’re going to take a little jump here to move from discussing whether their relationship is in character for Dick to whether their breakup was in character.  

In general, it actually is pretty in character for Dick to panic himself into commitment in a romantic relationship even if he’s not really sure about it.  Dick is very interesting that way: he runs away from platonic relationships under tension, either by throwing himself into casework or by literally setting up in a new location.  If his romantic relationship is undergoing trauma, however, he's very capable of reacting the opposite, like in this example with Kory.

Team Titans #2

There’s even an awkward Devin Grayson incident where he thinks a woman is serial-murdering her husbands, fake-marries her to solve the case, uncovers the real killer who wasn’t her, and feels bad enough afterward that he offers to date her for real. (An interesting side-note: this makes Devin Grayson responsible for not one but two of Dick’s emotionally compromised almost-marriages. This one, at least, came before she jumped the shark with the dreaded Catalina Flores arc.)

Nightwing Annual #1

So let’s take a look at where Shawn’s exact circumstance falls in against those.

  To me, the lines that sound the most like Dick are actually the lines he says that cause their break-up.  

Nightwing #23 (Nightwing: Back to Bludhaven)

Dick has a lot of darkness and anger in him. He’s a lot like Bruce and he’s a lot scared of how much he’s like Bruce.  We’ve seen several timelines where Dick’s had biological children and we’ve also seen how he tempered Damian’s darkness when Bruce was lost in the timestream.  Though this arc and timeline does not show it well (and that’s a whole different meta), we have the advantage of having known how Dick behaves as a father in a way this particular Dick has never had to experience.  And we know that when kids are in the picture he does work hard at repressing or concealing his anger and darkness to be a good role model, often in a way he isn’t sure he has the capacity to do when there are no children involved.  Despite some of the specific phrasings being iffy, the general sentiments here do feel like legitimate concerns Dick would have.

With this knowledge, that moment felt significantly more honest to Dick Grayson’s character than most of the rest of their relationship.  

Nightwing #25 (Nightwing: Back to Bludhaven)

The actual break-up dialogue itself is…well, it’s not out of character, exactly, because as shown, Dick has been known to clutch onto potential romances hardest when he feels they’re about to slip away. But the delivery of it isn’t in character.  Yes, in general, Dick has a temper and he lashes out. However, he’s clearly aggressive and angry in this panel, where previous experience has showed us he should be at his most emotionally vulnerable and pleading.  Dick, who is a generally emotionally closed-off person despite his extroverted demeanor, reacts to these kind of romance scares by showing emotional vulnerability in ways he frequently is unable to do during the relationship itself.  And the panel that he’s apologizing for as being a crappy thing to have said, is…as mentioned, the panel that comes closest to a consistent Dick Grayson.

And the thing they’re fighting about is that Dick missed a job interview because he was doing Nightwing things.  Shawn fell in love with Dick knowing he was Nightwing (somehow), he’s been Nightwing the whole time they dated, constant interruptions and all, but she breaks up with him because somehow 'the thing I always loved most…you.’ apparently wasn’t one that included the Nightwing schedule.  She also seems to be both blaming him for wanting the baby and also accusing him of not wanting it.  At the risk of getting off-topic and subjective, I’ll be honest and say Shawn’s dialogue here makes no sense to me at all.

Dick’s tried not being Nightwing, in both pre-52 and new-52.  Dick spends a fair amount of pre-52 time either bouncing from job to job or lacking a day job entirely.  In both pre-52 and new-52, the Dick she’s claiming is the one she’s always loved the most…doesn’t exist anywhere I can think of. Certainly not anywhere during their on-panel relationship.

Now that we’ve looked at what we see of Dick and Shawn on-panel, it’s time to talk about the impact this has off-panel.

I happen to have been re-reading a lot of Chuck Dixon’s original Nightwing’s run lately.  And here’s the thing.  Clancy’s been showing up consistently in that run as someone Dick could be attracted to for for oh, about...two full graphic novels now (that’s 17 single-issues) and they haven’t so much as gone on a date, let alone shared a smooch. It takes 20 issues before they make it to the first date we saw from Nightwing #22.  I don’t remember if she’s in every single issue of that period, so I’m going to round down by probably a lot and say that’s a minimum of a year when this was getting published for us as readers to get to know her and how she interacts with Dick, to get interested and invested in a potential relationship.  In comics-time, it’s weeks before Dick actually sees her face, not just hears her voice.  Even if you’re reading post-publication like me, that’s hours and hours where we watch she and Dick bond and banter and develop a mutual interest.

That’s build up.  That’s emotional investment developed over time.

I’m not saying every single relationship has to take more than a year’s worth of issues on-panel to develop.  However, she does summarize one of the single biggest struggles for DC’s cadre of writers over the last few years.  Basically, the problem I have with this beyond just the characterizations is the same that made me stop reading from New 52 onward: DC constantly trying to skip out on the process of creating meaningful emotional build-up or connections but still expecting to cash in on an emotional payoff.  

You can’t go from ‘kissed once’ to ‘been together for years like an old married couple couple vibes’ off-pages like Nightwing #15 tries to do.  Even if you expect the readers to believe the protagonist now feels that connection (which, frankly, I don’t), we don’t have that connection to the relationship.  It’s a cheap paper cutout with no actual emotional content behind it--why should we care if it tears under pressure?  We have no stake in it; we don’t know why the protagonist has a stake in it.  It’s meaningless.  

As a reader, my experience with Shawn and Dick’s relationship is as follows: a) they meet in a scenario where she is his boss (strong do not date vibes) b) they meet as vigilante and paroled ex-villain and she doesn’t even let him finish a sentence (would not date) c) they show a flashback where they don’t even speak to each other (Robin pities her; no ‘date/no date’ vibe data gathered), d) they share a confusingly out of nowhere ‘emotional’ moment that didn’t match up with my prior understanding of either what I extrapolated from the flashback or what I saw in their on-panel interactions (vibe check, please??) then she disappears for several issues into police custody (no ‘date/no date’ vibe data gathered)  The very next time she sees him, she betrays him  (STRONG do not/would not date).  Then all of a sudden at the end of that issue she kisses him.  

My context for their relationship is based on two ‘emotional’ conversations of dubious quality and consistency, one ‘look’ where their dialogue contradicts my own understanding of the on-panel events, a shouting match or two, and a very major betrayal that just happened to work out alright for everybody but is never actually addressed.  Most of her introductory arc where we’d be piecing out how she fits in with Dick and how they interact together, she isn’t even there for.  They’ve known each other for less than a week.  I the reader have known them for, in my case, maybe an hour of read-time. 

And the very next time I see them, I’m supposed to believe, and more importantly, feel emotionally attached to the fact that They Are The Most In Love Couple To Ever Be In Love.  

Trying to put a timeline on intimacy as a gimmick instead of establishing genuine emotional connection never works.  Yes, maybe we knew that one person in high school or know someone in college who falls hard and often and met and married someone within two months, but Dick Grayson has never been that person.  Maybe this style of flashback manic pixie romance would be more believable if they’d tried it on a different character with a different history and personality, but it especially never works on a character like Dick Grayson with a strong history of being slow to decide his feelings and even slower to jump into bed. 

In order to work, the entire arc that follows with the kidnapping by Pyg is predicated on the fact that I, the reader, am supposed to already care about Shawn’s relationship with Dick, and that I, the reader, believe in the validity of Shawn’s relationship with Dick and in Dick’s commitment to it.  But I haven’t been given time or reason to do either of those things by the time that arc starts.  

You cannot shortcut relationships and expect them to be meaningful to the reader.

So they threw in a baby.  Because even if you don’t care about a relationship, everyone cares about babies.

Throwing in a baby to up the emotional stakes is just a further step up that same problematic cheap-shortcuts ladder I was talking about: like in a stereotyped failing marriage, if you feel like you have to add a kid just to put meaning into your relationship again, maybe what you actually need to do is take time and consider what that relationship is built on.

[the-coldest-goodbye]

TWDG Nick - NSFW Alphabet

TWDG Nick x reader

A/N: I know that this is a few years too late for this to be relevant, but Nick will always be my boy. Under a cut because NSFW.

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Nick usually feels pretty emotional after sex and he’s overwhelmed by how vulnerable he let himself be with you. In these moments, he’s not much of a talker (not that he really ever is), but he tends to snuggle into you, resting his head on your chest or in the crook of your neck. Because of how he was raised, he has a tendency to bottle his emotions inside, but after growing more and more comfortable with you, he might actually open up about how he’s feeling in those quiet, intimate moments.

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Nick has pretty low self-esteem and doesn’t like much about himself or his body, but he starts liking his eyes since you often tell him how much you love them and their icy blue color. Nick’s favorite part of your body would be your hands. Any time you touch him, from running your fingers through his hair to resting your hand on his knee, shivers run down his spine. Your touch is so gentle and loving, things he’s never been used to before he met you.

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Nick is turned on by the idea of cumming inside of you, but if there’s a chance that you could get pregnant, he generally doesn’t given it’s the apocalypse, birth control is scarce, and the thought of you getting pregnant is terrifying to him. Instead, he’ll usually release his load onto whatever your nearest body part is to him depending on the position you were just in, so usually your thighs or stomach or ass. He likes seeing his cum on you, but he’s quick to offer to clean you off because he doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Something that Nick would be super reluctant to ever admit is that he’s fantasized many times since his youth about being with Luke. Before you came into his life, Luke had been the person he had been the closest to for so many years, so there have been quite a few times when Nick’s mind has wandered and thought about what it would be like to be with Luke, both physically and romantically.

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

When you and Nick first get together, he is incredibly inexperienced. He had only ever fooled around with one other person before you, but he never actually got that far before stopping because it didn’t feel right with the person and he just kind of panicked during the experience. He’s pretty embarrassed when you two first start getting intimate because he’s afraid that his inexperience will show and that you’ll be disappointed by his performance, but he’s actually not that bad his first few times. The biggest barrier he needs to overcome is his lack of confidence because it holds him back. He improves quickly, though, because he’s eager to please you and to figure out what makes you feel good.

f = favorite position (this goes without saying)

In the early stages of your physical relationship, Nick prefers you to be on top and to take control because he’s very shy and not confident in his skills. However, as he gets more experienced with you, he begins to experiment more with being on top of you and he loves that too. He particularly loves any position where you two are face-to-face or when he gets to feel your bodies completely pressed up against each other. He’s not much of a kisser normally, but his mouth is constantly on yours and your neck, shoulders, and chest during sex. He’s not super confident or dominant in his daily life, so he gets very turned on thinking about you writhing in pleasure beneath him.

On occasions where he’s spent the day feeling particularly jealous, he’ll love to fuck you doggy style, fast and hard, fingers digging into your hips and waist as he pounds himself into you. This isn’t something he likes to do normally, though, because it feels pretty impersonal to him. It’s more just a way of him getting his frustrations out. Whenever you guys have any sex that’s rougher than usual for you two, he’ll definitely check in afterwards for sure to make sure you’re okay. He’ll also be looking for cues from you during the act that it’s okay and that you’re enjoying it. If he thinks that you might not be into it, he’ll definitely stop. Actually, this is something he’d be aware of any time you two have sex, but he’ll be particularly hyper-aware of it if things were getting rough because he just doesn’t want to hurt you.

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

When it comes to sex, he’s pretty serious about it all.

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I mean, it’s the apocalypse, so he’s not super concerned about personal grooming down there. Plus, even before the apocalypse, he wasn’t very concerned with grooming either because he wasn’t sexually active so never really had a reason to be concerned about it at all. If you’d prefer him to be a little neater downstairs, he’ll make an effort to trim it up for you. If you don’t mind, though, he’d probably prefer just not worrying about it at all and just leaving it natural. He doesn’t expect you to shave or anything either. It’s just not a big deal to him.

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Nick is surprisingly more intimate than he lets on, though he’s still not Mr. Romance. He has a hard time expressing intimacy in regular conversations throughout the day, so all of his intimacy comes out whenever you two are alone, be it when you are just cuddling up in bed or having sex. He’s gentle and sweet and gives you lots of little kisses all over. He’s not the most romantic guy, so don’t expect champagne and rose petals from him, but you can tell just how much he loves you by how soft and gentle he becomes around you.

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Nick doesn’t have the highest sex drive, so he doesn’t masturbate all too often, especially ever since you two have started a physical relationship. Before he was with you, he would jerk off every once in a while, but it wasn’t something he required all the time. His appreciation for sex isn’t really due to the orgasm, but instead his favorite part of it all is just the time he spends with you and the intimacy you share.

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

Nick probably (definitely) has a praise kink. Tell him he’s a good boy and he will melt. He will do everything in his power to get you to praise him and tell him you’re enjoying what he’s doing. He spends so much of his life being treated like he can’t do anything right by the group that you praising him for doing a good job and him seeing the pleasure he causes in you turns him on more than anything else.

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

In the apocalypse, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, but if he had it his way, you two would mainly just have sex in a bedroom. He prefers the security and comfort of having sex in a bedroom so he can let his guard down a little bit and focus on the two of you instead of being on high alert for any danger.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He gets turned on when he knows that you’re turned on because of him. Similar to what I said under “kink,” the group often treats him like he’s incapable of doing anything right, and it’s something he’s very aware of and it hurts him badly. You can turn him on by whispering in his ear how much you need him and how he’s the only one who could make you feel that good. He’s also had a rough go at life and was deprived of a lot of gentleness and care growing up, so you being soft with him (both physically and emotionally) makes him yearn for you.

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He doesn’t want to hurt you in any way. He just can’t do it. Even when he gets a bit more rough with you during sex, it’s still not super rough. He might cause some small bruises from his fingers grabbing you tight, but he’d feel a little guilty seeing them afterwards and would apologize, even if you tell him it’s okay. He would never want to make you cry out in pain. During the times when he takes on more of a submissive role, he’ll usually be more receptive to receiving pain if you ever wanted to get a little rough with him, but he just doesn’t want to cause any pain for you.

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He prefers giving over receiving. He’s a little shy and embarrassed the first few times he goes down on you because he’s never done it before and doesn’t want to disappoint you, but he’s a fast learner if you gently guide him. He gets pretty skillful at it fairly quickly. Sometimes he really likes it when you go down on him, but other times when he’s feeling particularly bad about himself, he feels too embarrassed and uncomfortable to have you suck him off because he doesn’t really want all of the attention to be focused on him on those occasions.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Nick is definitely slow and sensual, though he can get faster and rougher the closer he is to cumming. He also tends to be rougher when emotions are high, such as when he’s jealous or if he’s had a bad day and is frustrated.

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He’s not super into quickies. He’ll do them very rarely. He prefers a long build up into sex with a lot of intimacy. So he generally doesn’t like having quickies at the drop of a hat. Generally if you suggest a quickie in the middle of the day, he’ll scoff and tell you not now, especially if he doesn’t feel secure or safe wherever you are. You want to screw him in the middle of the woods while you’re supposed to be looking for food? More than likely not gonna happen. Too unsafe. However, he’ll be a little turned on by how you desire him enough to want to have sex with him right then and there. Sometimes he’ll oblige, but even if he turns you down, he’ll be thinking about it all day and getting more and more turned on, excitedly awaiting you two to be alone for the night when you can thoroughly take care of each other’s desires.

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’s not super risky or experimental. He’ll concede to your requests if they’re not too crazy since he is eager to please you, though he wouldn’t really have many crazy ideas of his own that he would want to explore.

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Because Nick was so inexperienced at the beginning of your relationship, he couldn’t last long at all, but he would recover after a short break and would be willing to go for another round or two (if you encouraged him because honestly at first he would’ve been embarrassed by finishing so quickly, so if you reassure him that it’s fine and that you still want him and are turned on by him, he’ll be willing to go again for another round or two). Over time, he builds his stamina and can last for longer. He loves taking his time with foreplay, though, so he loves it when you two take the time to pleasure each other in a lot of different ways beyond just penetration. He always makes sure you get your release.

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Nick himself never owned any toys, but he would be willing to use them if you had or found some and wanted to experiment with them. In fact, I think he would find that he would really enjoy them being used on you and him.

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

Nick is all about the teasing, both teasing you and being teased by you. He wants to extend the pleasure as long as he can, so he loves it when you two build the anticipation and edge each other so you’re both begging for release.

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Because you two are rarely ever someplace where people aren’t nearby and Nick is embarrassed by the idea of being overheard by someone else in the group, he tends to keep the volume low. He’s still pretty vocal though. Lots of heavy breathing, gasping, moaning, and him whimpering things to you.

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

One day when he’s drunk, he admits to you that he’d be down for a threesome with you and Luke. Nick himself definitely wouldn’t go out of his way to make it happen because he’s afraid that Luke would think it’s weird and Nick doesn’t want to jeopardize their friendship, so you would have to be the one to secretly propose the idea to Luke so the two of you could surprise Nick with it.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

I think Nick would be fairly average in both length and girth.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Nick’s sex drive honestly isn’t very high. He wouldn’t particularly want sex every day.

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It takes Nick forever to fall asleep after the act. He has so many thoughts swirling around in his head that he lies awake for a really long time. Once he feels your breathing even out as you fall asleep, he’ll eventually begin to relax and drift into sleep too.

[caveatauditor]

My favorite albums, days 1-10

Friends have requested that I share my favorite albums on social media, preferably with vaguely autobiographical blurbs accompanying them, so to avoid polluting the wholesomeness of my Facebook timeline with music geekery, these are they until I change my mind. I excluded albums from this decade because the decade isn’t over, so the ten gems that follow represent an attempt to make history conform to me.

1. Lil Wayne, Da Drought 3

Two discs of Wayne freestyling, bloviating, and holding a conversation over a bunch of sampled and/or stolen and/or obscure music, arranged randomly because in theory the mixtape goes on forever in both directions, a gorgeous tapestry whose details happen to consist of delectable beats and wild free-associative blather. Wayne raps like a child in a candy store, eschewing parsable semantic content in favor of puns and stray impulses and improvised phonetic twaddle and whatever he feels like saying in the moment; likewise, the beats don’t cohere, sonically or in sequence, instead sticking as many hooks as possible wherever possible as often as possible; the overall result comes off like a transmission from the filthiest corner of the id. The ultimate triumph of mid-‘00s mixtape culture, Da Drought 3 is fabulous aural wallpaper and hardly an album at all, so of course it’s my favorite album.

2. Joni Mitchell, Hejira

Given how beloved this album is among a surprisingly large number of my friends, I almost went with the equally astonishing Hissing of Summer Lawns, but let’s be real now--Hejira is flawlessly, magnificently beautiful like nothing else I’ve ever heard. The guitar lines lap and peal over breathtakingly wide, sweeping expanses of empty space--space like the open road, like the southwestern desert in the winter, like the urge to travel and stay on the move, like the empty human heart. The lyrics use the familiar musicianly trope of going on tour as a springboard for a set of travelogue meditations on solitude and perpetual motion, a condition imposed partially by circumstance and partially by internal existential need; she’s moving before the ringing opening chords of “Coyote” and she’s moving after “Refuge of the Roads” pensively winds down. The latter song in particular contains several moments that always, always make me cry, especially during the first verse (“We laughed at how our perfection would always be denied”) and the third (“A thunderhead of judgment was gathering in my gaze”). I’ll never use “relate” as a verb, but I’ve often taken refuge in the road. I always take this album with me, though.

3. Jandek, Blue Corpse

I’m cheating here: Jandek is a relatively new discovery for me, and I’m still working through his ridiculously massive catalog, but I’ve listened to him with sufficient fascination enough over the past year and a half that he deserves a spot. Fans say that Blue Corpse is a good starting point because it’s his most accessible album, but accessibility is a relative concept when we’re talking about experimental atonal lo-fi acoustic quasi-blues fuckery, so let’s just call it his most carefully sequenced--side two builds the way a second side should, starting with an extended harmonica solo before leading into his cover of “House of the Rising Sun” and the album’s ten-minute centerpiece, the lonely, furious “Only Lover”. I love this album so much I could easily imagine a better one lurking in some dank, unexplored discographical corner.

4. Janet Jackson, The Velvet Rope

As a sophomore in high school I heard The Velvet Rope and immediately decided this was the sexiest and most sophisticated music I had ever heard. I was right! To this day I hold a special place in my heart for R&B that confounds the traditional banger/ballad distinction--there are no ballads on this album! With its swirly synthesizer and xylophonesque keyboard chords, “Empty” sounds like a conventional slow song until you notice the second layer of hyperactive drums clicking maniacally atop the core rhythm track: nervous energy disrupting and complementing preternatural spiritual calm. “Tonight’s the Night” is a great cover because the act of covering an established hit mirrors the act of initial erotic exploration, of navigating your way through a series of gestures you knew about before trying yourself; the way she sings “Cause I love you girl ain’t nobody gonna stop us now” is defiantly blunt, unshowy, matter-of-fact. Those are the lyrics! She’ll sing them. Breezy, mechanical, exquisite, The Velvet Rope captures the fragility of intimacy.

5. Fall Out Boy, From Under the Cork Tree

I first became aware of Fall Out Boy in middle school, when the girl whose locker neighbored mine put up a bunch of Pete Wentz posters on the inside of her locker door. I envied her brilliance and poise, since she was obviously way smarter and cooler than me, and I’m pleased to say she was right: this daft, idiotic, magnificent album captures a world of teenage crushes, fixations, stupid feelings poorly rationalized, awkward proclamations blurted out and immediately retracted, aftershave clumsily sprayed on to impress a special someone, the scent of cheap perfume, lipstick stains on your pillowcase and friction in your jeans. It’s so flushed and clumsy it automatically enters the realm of hormonal teenpop utopia, with the crunchy guitars mirroring the anguish in eternal adolescent Patrick Stump’s heart. Pete Wentz writes solecistic, self-aggrandizing lyrics because teenagers in love are supposed to utter howlers like “The only thing worse than not knowing is you thinking that I don’t know” and (sigh) “Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness”. It’s an ode to the enduring power of romantic absurdity, in all its most entertaining guises.

6. Duran Duran, Rio

Like From Under the Cork Tree, only glitzier. Occasionally I play a game with select friends of mine where we try to guess whether a random snippet of doggerel is a Fall Out Boy or a Duran Duran lyric. “It’s just like a scene out of Voltaire twisting out of sight”? Obviously Duran, for citing French philosophy is such a New Romantic move. “We’re well-read and poised/we’re the best boys”? Self-defeating self-objectification is Pete Wentz’s favorite rhetorical device. “The sun drips down bedding heavy behind/the front of your dress all shadowy lined/and the droning engine throbs in time with your beating heart”? Too florid; gotta be Duran. “Couldn’t cut me deeper with a knife if you tried/just take a look before you run off and hide”? No clue--blood and betrayal could go either way. “Let’s fade away together one dream at a time”? “Some people call it a one-night stand but we can call it paradise”? Well!

7. PJ Harvey, To Bring You My Love

As a senior in high school I heard To Bring You My Love and immediately decided this was the sexiest and rawest music I had ever heard. I was right! To this day I know no harsher or more beautiful approximation of what it means to yearn for the sublime. The tiny guitar figure in “Working for the Man”, half-concealed beneath the drums and muffled, thumping bass, devastates because it’s creepy and horrible; the maximalist guitar roar in “Long Snake Moan”, almost as loud and thundering as her distorted vocals, devastates because so would getting run over by a tank. On the rest of the album, she hits every mood between those two extremes, including rapture and delight in addition to all the abrasive ones.

8. Fleetwood Mac, Tusk

I almost went with Tango in the Night, given how my generation seems to have discovered and reclaimed it, with “Seven Wonders” popping up in Balearic dance mixes and American Horror Story. Tusk, however, is a giant compendium of whirring gears and rotating spokes and plinky keys and strummed acoustic guitars and tinkly music boxes and billions of other moving parts, and the totality of the sound correlates with a draining, overwhelming emotional extremity. Lindsey Buckingham fills the space with a bunch of tightly crafted miniatures, distilling his imagined ideal of the Fleetwood Mac sound into the searing anger of “What Makes You Think I’m the One” and “I Know I’m Not Wrong” (Lindsey Buckingham in a song title), but Stevie Nicks gets all the big statements: the thundering “Sisters of the Moon”, the incomparable breakup ballad “Storms” (“Never have I been a blue calm sea/I have always been a storrrrrrm” always makes me cry), “Sara”. Meanwhile, Christine McVie’s “Brown Eyes”/“Never Make Me Cry” couplet is the axis on which the album’s sequence turns. Tusk resonates because it conflates the singer-songwriter confessional urge with the band’s collaborative dynamic, creating a communal space for them all to bask in their shared hate for and exhaustion with each other.

9. Crunk Hits

I needed a compilation, and this magnificent one brings to life my favorite radio format: mainstream hip-hop in the mid-‘00s. Crunk and R&B were everywhere back then; to me this album sounds like New York in the hot, lazy summers of ’05 and ’06, when these songs confounded with their unprecedented hedonism and aggression and delight. Definitively singles-oriented, this music saturated a subsequent generation of hip-hop fans, so that album artistes in this decade like Young Thug and Playboi Carti have internalized crunk’s valuable lessons about shamelessly exposing the id. I couldn’t omit an album whose first five songs are Usher’s “Yeah”, Lil Jon & the Eastside Boyz’s “Get Low”, T.I.’s “Rubber Band Man”, Chingy’s “Right Thurr”, and Ciara’s “Goodies”--damn! It’s practically a greatest-hits album for the entire decade.

10. Steely Dan, Gaucho

When I bought this album in seventh grade, I wasn’t aware I was buying the fleetest, shallowest, most efficient howl of anguish ever set to music. Donald Fagen and Walter Becker are only ironists insofar as they’re romantics who mask their feelings in inscrutable form. The question with any of their albums, which are basically all flawless, is to what degree they’ll reveal their bleeding hearts, and on Gaucho there’s such a gash in the fabric the blood spurts out everywhere, staining the shag carpet, dripping through the singer’s sleeve onto his fancy leather shoes. The modest functionalism of their slick California studio-rock, the tasty licks and glossy keyboards and sparingly deployed saxophone and sudden sharp bursts of guitar, hardly enters into a dialectic with the desperation and horror of the songwriting--it’s the perfect musical expression for these feelings, as perfection that’s slightly disfigured is so much more devastating than total abrasion (when critics use “Bret Easton Ellis” as shorthand for the demented luxury porn we’ve enjoyed and suffered through this decade, what they really mean is “Steely Dan”). No matter how many glass tables you smash, how many ashtrays you inhale, you’ll never feel as shitty as this record.

[tobedeletedwayward]

Roommates || Suga || Part 11

Summary:   A kiss can change everything. Why haven’t you and Yoongi let it?

Word Count: 1,912

A/N: God I love and hate writing this series; I’m going to be so torn when its all over... Whenever that’ll be.

<< Part 10 || 

Soon after the holiday season passed, your life returned to some vague sense of rhyme and reason.

And yet in the midst of that, in the brief moments where your thoughts would escape you, all you could think about was Min Yoongi under a night sky filled with a rainbow of colours fanning behind him like some form of halo, his lips so close to your own and the rhythmic thumping of your heart.

And you wanted to punch yourself in the face because of it.

The middle of January hit you hard and fast, and the once deathly winter winds had begun fading into the cool breeze of spring. But, unlike the changing of seasons, your relationship with Yoongi remained stagnant.

So stagnant, and yet its lack of motion made you sick.

Well, you and a select group of other people.

“So you’ve kissed?!”

You pushed her forehead with your finger. It was times like this that you regretted hanging out with her and, in the current circumstance, agreeing to go shopping for snacks for movie night with her.

“Wanna yell it any louder for me?” You fired back, glancing around at the convenience store to make sure no one had been too disturbed by the outburst. “And yes, we kissed... Well more like he kissed me; and it was on the cheek – which really isn’t a big deal-”

“You’re kidding! A kiss is a kiss, [Y/N]! Do you know what this means?!”

“He picked up some western customs?”

“He likes you back!”

You dropped another pot of instant ramen into your basket before moving away from her, cheeks reddening from her statement.

“Stop assuming things,” you mumbled, “two friends can give each other pecks on the cheek and they mean nothing – you do it all the time to what’s-his-face.”

Your companion rolled her eyes. “Yah, look at me.”

You obliged, pausing mid-step in order to turn and face her. The moment your eyes met, you felt chills run up and down your spine. [Y/F/N] wore a stern look, one you only very rarely saw in moments you spent together. If fire could be cold, then that’s what her look emanated.

“You need to pull your head out of your ass and actually think about what’s going on for once, yeah? Min Yoongi kissed you – initiated intimacy with you of all people – at one of the most romantic parts of the year. Everyone dreams of being kissed on New Years in any form by the person they love and now you’re gonna stand there and act like it was nothing? I don’t know whether you’re stupid or dense.”

Your mouth dropped open ever so slightly before you sighed and turned on your heel, walking towards the counter to purchase your snacks.

“I’m not stupid or dense, thank you very much.” You muttered, glaring at her from the corner of your eye as the cashier scanned your items.

“Oh?” She challenged, looking at you with a raised brow. “Then why haven’t you and Yoongi talked about it?”

It felt as though a bucket of cold water had been dropped onto your body, forcing you to shiver a little more than you thought you could.

The cashier had interrupted your discussion, making you pay and take your plastic bag of goods before exiting the store in a hurry. [Y/F/N] was on your tail, arms folded as she waited in anticipation for your response. You knew she wouldn’t let up and you sighed, shoving your hands into your jacket pockets as you thought about your answer.

“We haven’t talked because we’ve both been busy – and because there isn’t anything to talk about.” You answered after another few moments of thought. Your companion scoffed. “What? It’s true!”

“You can lie to yourself all you want but you can’t lie to me, [Y/N].” She tutted, leading you back to her apartment building up the road. “That’s the oldest excuse in the book and I’m not taking it as an answer.”

You huffed, causing the stray baby hairs that framed your face to be blown away by the sudden breath of air underneath them.

She wasn’t going to let you out of this as easily as you hoped.

Why hadn’t you and Yoongi talked about it?

It was a complex situation – to you at least.

You liked Yoongi, had liked him for years. As of late, different feelings were coming into fruition and you couldn’t help but notice the differences in the way Yoongi looked at you from back in your university days to know. It was strange; the type of strange that made your stomach flip and heart beat as if you were running a marathon.

If in the off chance he liked you back then that was great.

If he didn’t then-

Then what?

What would happen to the friendship you were already rekindling? What would happen to the current routine you had come to know with your roommate? Would things get awkward? Would you get over him, forget him as if your feelings never existed, never mattered in the first place?

Your throat tightened.

“I’m scared, [Y/F/N]...” You answered, words leaving as a faint whisper that dissipated into the air. She looked at you to continue. “There’s too much on the line if we talk about it and I-”

I don’t want things to change.

I don’t want stop being with Yoongi if things go wrong.

Your throat closed up around the words, trapping them deep in your throat. You clutched the handles of the plastic bag tighter, feeling [Y/F/N] nudge your shoulder comfortingly.

“I don’t want to lose him.”

Hearing the words out loud was a cathartic experience, one that lifted the heavy weight of unrequited affection from your shoulders.

But it also heightened your fear, your uncertainty that surrounded the enigma of Min Yoongi.

[Y/F/N] pulled you into a side hug, an arm slung tightly around your shoulder. “People come and go from our lives all the time... But if Yoongi is an actual friend then he’ll stick around even if he doesn’t feel the same way. But he does, because why else would you kiss someone on New Years?”

You fell silent.

“You should try talking to him... You gotta get that closure.” She continued. The stern expression had melted away and was immediately replaced by a kind and supportive smile.

You nodded, but your throat was still clamped shut and the dark thoughts continued to swim around and around in your head

You had to talk to him.

You needed the closure.

You needed something...

Anything.

“So you finally made your move, huh?”

Yoongi rolled his eyes and adjusted the wire of his in-ears. “How about you focus on our gig tonight instead of investing yourself in my life?”

Namjoon laughed at him, locking eyes with the older male through the mirror of their dresser. The former knew that it was unconventional of him to ask about his friend’s love life less than half an hour before they had to go out and perform at one of the most popular clubs in Seoul, but if he did it after then the latter would probably run and avoid answering it entirely.

At least now he was cornered, and with enough prodding an answer would be given.

“I’m just curious,” Namjoon answered, ignoring the very obvious glare that Yoongi wore, “that text you sent was pretty out of nowhere.”

Yoongi shrugged and looked away from Namjoon’s reflection, continuing to adjust his clothes.

It had been out of character of him to send him that message. Less than six hours after he had kissed you he had texted Namjoon, as if he was some giddy middle schooler telling his friends about the fact he held hands with a pretty girl. That one text had been the end of the discussion, had been the only thing he had said about the matter and from that point on he had refused to answer any queries on the topic.

“And I mean I’m happy for you Yoongs, really.” Namjoon continued, turning so he could lean against the dresser. Yoongi quirked an eyebrow at him and proceeded to face him as well. “You’ve been pining like a love sick puppy for [Y/N] for years and you’ve finally made a move; I’m stoked.”

Yoongi felt his lips form a frown. “I’m not pining over her,” he retorted, “don’t make it sound like I’m obsessed with her-”

“Then why did you make me tell you every little thing that happened to her while you were gone?” He challenged.

“Am I not allowed to care about my friends?”

“Not when ‘the friend’ you speak of was the reason you wanted to return to Seoul in the first place.”

Yoongi felt his frown deepen, with new wrinkles forming at the top of his forehead and the corners of his mouth. “She wasn’t the reason-”

“You can lie to [Y/N] but you can’t lie to me, hyung.” Namjoon interjected, his own face being pulled into an expression of displeasure. “You’ve had feelings for her since university, there isn’t anything wrong about that... The problem is that you kissed her and then did nothing to follow it up.”

“It’s not like I made it my New Years’ resolution to confess to her, Joon.” Yoongi argued, folding his arms across his chest indignantly.

“S’not the point, Yoongs.” Namjoon sighed. “You like her, she probably likes you too; why haven’t you addressed the giant elephant in the room?”

The look on Namjoon’s face showed he was anticipating an answer, and a good one at that. Yoongi gave in; he knew they weren’t going to go on stage until this conversation was over, until his friend was satisfied with the answer he formulated.

Why hadn’t the two of you talked about this?

He should have talked about it with you the next day; he was an adult and it was his responsibility since he did initiate the exchange.

But every time he tried his throat closed up, his tongue tied itself into knots while his heart dropped and crushed his liver into itty, bitty pieces. It was a terrifying thought to him, to confront years and years of emotions and tension and to invest in a confession that had the power to ruin everything in the fraction of a second.

What if you didn’t like him back? What if, deep down, you wanted to be with that Seokjin guy over him? How much would things change between the two of you if you rejected him? Could he handle being rejected after so long?

No. No he couldn’t. And he didn’t want to even consider that possibility since it meant that he’d be losign you of all people in this world. And there, in a flash of light he felt the answer reach his lips.

He was scared.

“We’ve got to go on.” He responded, finally, shoving his in-ears into his ear drums and walking out of their backstage dressing room.

As quickly as it came, he swallowed it back down. He didn’t want to think about the uncertain future his mind had formed. Instead he decided that he would talk to you, one day. Yoongi needed to man up, to lay everything on the table to you just as he should have on the second day of the year.

He had to. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day. He owed you that much.

[artificialqueens]

Masked (Shalaska) Ch.2 - Anna

A/N hi guys! im sorry it took me so long to post another chapter, i figured you liked it since i received a lot of feedback on the first one! thank you all so much and i hope you enjoy this one too! i basically wanted to write something different, in most of shalaska fics ive read alaska is the vulnerable one, but what if the things were the other way around? i have an entire concept for this fic, so if you want me to ill keep writing! (anxious thoughts and panic attacks are written from personal experience so i hope its accurately described haha also i apologize in advance if the language offends anyone, i myself am a member of LGBTQIA+ community and that is certainly not my intention.) -xx Anna

trigger warnings: strong language, panic attack, violence

„Yeah, yeah, I’m late, whatever, you can be happy I even showed up.“ Sharon said entering the room, cutting off the teacher. She looked around the room, searching for her mystery girl. She was sitting in the first row, right in front of the teacher, listening and taking notes. Sharon noticed how her nose scrunched up when she was focused and how her tongue stuck out when she wrote. Cute, she thought as she walked to her seat in the back of the room. No one was sitting next to her, no one was sitting in the entire last row for that matter. From here she couldn’t see the blonde, only her messy bun, but she was still mesmerized by the presence of this girl.

Sharon was trying to think of an apology, but she had no idea how to do these things. She was never good with feelings, emotions or compassion. That’s why she didn’t do relationships. She would just distance herself from the other person in the fear of fucking it up, leading to her ending up hurt and heart-broken. She wouldn’t say she was scared of vulnerability and intimacy, but she didn’t want people to see her emotional side. So she just gave up on that idea, besides she never really saw the point in relationships. One night stands were something she enjoyed much more. Just lust and sex, no emotions, no feelings, no talking. The walls she built around herself, this mask she was wearing was working, she was confident, beautiful, dangerous, something she couldn’t say about herself a few years ago. She learnt from her mistakes, and she will not repeat them. „Hi! Um, I…I just wanted to apologize again…“ that soft voice. Sharon looked up and saw those warm deep brown eyes again. She realized the class was over and the beautiful girl was standing in front of her. Apologizing. To Sharon. Brown eyes were looking at her icy blue ones, nervous and scared. „Oh. No, um, I’m sorry, I was mean…“ I was mean? Are you stupid?! You’re just embarrassing yourself, shut up and leave, this girl is too good for you anyways, don’t even try. Look at her, she’s an angel, so innocent and pure, you’ll just hurt her. You’re not good enough. Leave before you embarrass yourself again. A familiar voice in Sharon’s head spoke, a voice she was hearing her whole life, the one she was trying so hard to fight. „It’s fine, I’m surprised I didn’t get a punch in the face“ the girl giggled and extended her arm „Alaska.“ Sharon was looking at her dumbfounded. She knows who I am, why does she want to talk to me? „Sharon.“ she said as they shook hands. „I know.“ Alaska said. She was even more beautiful now that she was smiling. „That’s a weird name. It doesn’t suit you.“ Did you really say that out loud? God, you’re more stupid than I thought you were. She’s gonna walk away and never talk to you again, she doesn’t need someone like you. Just leave, you’re hurting her. Alaska’s smile didnt drop. Instead it widdened „Alaska is a weird name, but at least my parents didn’t think I was going to become a drug addict.“ Sharon smiled. Why are you smiling? That wasn’t funny, she’ll think you’re stupid. „What does suit me then?“ Alaska added, oblivious to the fight in Sharon’s head. „I don’t know, something pretty like you.“ Sharon replied. So you’re saying Alaska isn’t a pretty name? You’re insulting her! Alaska blushed a light pink. God, she was gorgeous. She’s probably straight, don’t get your hopes up. And even if she wasn’t, she definitely would want you. „Um, I have to go to the next class. What do you have?“ she asked Sharon. „Maths, I think. I dont know, I dont have my schedule.“ Sharon replied as they exited the classroom. „I have Maths too! We can walk together!“ No, no, no, no, you can’t, you’ll embarrass yourself more. You’re not good enough, leave her alone. „I’d love to, but I think I’m gonna skip this one. I hate the subject and the teacher.“ Why did you say that? Now she’ll think you’re avoiding her. You’re stupid, this is why you shouldn’t talk to anyone. No one likes you.   „Yeah sure, no problem. Gotta keep that reputation up!“ Alaska winked and walked away. Sharon ran outside. The voice in her head was only getting louder. She doesn’t like you, why would she? She’s smart and pretty and you’re not. Not good enough. Never was, never will be. Look at you, skipping class because you can’t talk to her. You don’t deserve to be happy. This is why no one likes you, you’re stupid, a piece of shit. Not good enough. Not good enough. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, calm down. Exhale, not good enough. Her breaths were short, the pressure in her lungs was unbearable. Her throat started tightening. Not good enough. She wanted to escape but she couldn’t. You can’t do this here, someone will see you you’ll embarrass yourself. Inhale, exhale. The voice was filling her head, she felt like throwing up. Inhale, exhale. She was cold but her skin was burning. She slid down the wall to the ground, tears now falling down her cheeks. She tried to calm herself down but she couldn’t. Inhale, exhale. The knot in her stomach only became tighter and the voice didn’t go away. You’re pathetic, maybe you’ll finally die. She was shaking as she rocked back and forth, mumbling calm down and breathe to herself. After a few painful minutes, her breathing started to normalize again. She lit up a cigarette, but she remained sitting on the grass. You can’t go through this again. You have to control yourself, she thought. Panic attacks weren’t a new thing for Sharon. In fact, they happened very often, her social anxiety always triggering them. But she never said anyone what was going on in her head, she didn’t want to seem vulnerable. She couldn’t allow people to see this side of her. She didn’t want people to know that she was struggling and fighting her inner demons every day. She was Sharon Needles, she wasn’t scared of anything or anyone, that’s what people thought and that’s what she wanted the to think. Her thoughts quickly disappeared when she saw a familiar figure exit the school building. Alaska. She was gingerly walking around the yard, her previous confidence gone. Why is she alone? Does she not know anyone here? How could people not want to be around her? Sharon thought. „Hey, dyke!“ Sharon heard a voice echoing around the yard. Everyone fell silent. She quickly stood up. She was used to homophobia by now, but if this person thought they were going to get away with it, they were terribly mistaken. She saw a tall, raven haired girl move to the middle of the yard. Violet. Sharon scoffed. Violet thought she was something, wanted to look tough and untouchable, and she did that by bullying other, weaker people. She once picked on Sharon, and when she got beaten up, she never even came near Sharon again. Then who was she talking to? Sharon then saw Alaska, frozen in spot, clearly shaking and firmly grasping her bag. „What’s the matter, lesbo? Kitty got your tongue?“ Violet approached Alaska with a smug grin on her face. Sharon was having none of it. „Oh Sharon! So nice to see-“ Violet didn’t finish her sentence. She was now laying on the ground, swearing and squeezing her nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding. „I would beat you up again but you’re not even worth it.“ Sharon said and added „If I ever hear you talking shit like this about anyone again, I will make sure that you visit your plastic surgeon again, we all know those lips are fake doll!“ Sharon now turned to Alaska. She was still shaking and her pupils were dilated with fear.  „Are you ok?“ Sharon asked her in a soft voice. „Y-yeah, I’m fine, y-you didn’t have to punch her though…“ Alaska was trying to compose herself as the commotion in the yard was settling down and people were walking away. „Violet is a stupid whore and she deserves much worse than just a punch in the face, trust me.“ A small smile appeared on Alaska’s face, but she was still visibly upset. „Come with me.“ Sharon said and thought about taking Alaska’s hand, but figured the girl probably wouldn’t want that, not after what just happened. They started walking towards the dorms in silence. „Thank you.“ Alaska said quietly „You really didn’t have to do that.“ Sharon didn’t know what to respond so she just nodded and kept walking. „You’re probably going to get in trouble for punching another student.“ Alaska continued, trying to start a conversation. „Not the first or the last time I end up in detention.“ Sharon said „Besides, Violet should be the one who gets in trouble, she started it. But the teachers don’t care, all she has to do is bat her long lashes at them and they forgive her every time. They think she’s an angel or something, its annoying.“ „She’s done stuff like this before?“ Alaska asked reluctantly. „Yeah, all the time. Nowadays, not that much, because I may or may have not beat her up…“ Sharon replied with a small victorious grin on her face. Alaska couldn’t help but chuckle. „Has she…has she ever insulted you?“ she then asked sheepishly, almost as if afraid Sharon would do the same to her if she asked too much. „Only once.“ Sharon said. „Come here, I want to show you something“ She took Alaska’s hand and felt an unfamiliar flutter in her chest when the girl squeezed her hand back. They walked behind the dorm building, where Sharon pulled down ladders that were leading to the roof of the building. „Are you scared of heights?“ Sharon asked Alaska, completely forgetting to ask about that earlier. Alaska shook her head and started to climb the ladders. Sharon was right behind her, wondering why did this girl trust her so much. She could kill her up there and no one would find the body. She was pulled out of her morbid thoughts by the sway of Alaska’s hips in front of her, and suddenly she had to focus on not falling down. When they reached the top, Alaska looked around with a big grin on her face. From here you could see the entire property of the boarding school, or prison as Sharon liked to call it. Sharon focused her gaze on Alaska instead of the surrounding nature, she’s seen it thousands of times, the beautiful girl in front of her was much more captivating. „What?“ Alaska pulled Sharon out of her trance, smiling and looking expectantly at her. „Hm? Oh, nothing, just, um, nothing“ Sharon replied offering a small smile. You’re fucking this up, she hates you. The voice she dreaded hearing was back, consuming her thoughts. „It’s so beautiful up here.“ Alaska continued to look around and admire the sight. „Not as beautiful as you.“ It took Sharon a few moments before she realized what she said. A deep crimson blush covered her cheeks as she stared down at the ground, not wanting to see Alaska’s reaction. You’re such an idiot, who says stuff like that? She’ll think you’re creepy and run away, you’re scaring her. Oh, so you’re blushing now? What are you, in middle school? She heard Alaska giggle and couldn’t help but to look up, only to see that Alaska’s cheeks were painted a rose color too. „You’re too sweet“ she said trough her giggles „You’re not that bad yourself, you know that?“ Alaska batted her long lashes at her and walked to the edge of the roof to sit down. She patted the space next to her, motioning Sharon to come sit next to her. Did she, did she just…compliment me? No she didn’t don’t be ridiculous, look at you, she’s way out of your league. Don’t get your hopes up. Sharon thought as she plastered a smile on her face to mask the confusion in her head and went over to sit next to Alaska.

[tori10rambles]

Jumin’s route is done! That was a freaking roller coaster. aka the route in which i probably broke my own heart a little before I even finished Day 4, and it only got worse from there. And DAY 10 DESTROYED ME.

Being the rabid Seven fangirl I am, getting this route was hard. The only thing that kind of soothes my heart is that I didn't get any heart breaks from Seven. (You know, besides his actual heart by Day 10. That kind of negated... almost all my good feelings).

i just want to help like, every single one of these losers with their problems jfc.

Also, per usual, these comments were written as the game was being played, and so are probably kind of incoherent, and switch from first and 3rd person POV sometimes in the middle of the same point. All of that is under the cut.

Also, for some reason, the After end CG didn’t save to my album. Hm....

  Jumin

So much of his personality is explained by his dad honestly. Also, I have a very bad feeling about his dad and the Choi lady.

When you grow up in the public eye, it seems like the choices are to either try to become as bland/invisble as possible to avoid having the paparazzi on your ass (as seen with Jumin), or you do a Tony Stark and make a party/attention whore mask and basically try to own it.

Considering how Jumin describes his dad (skirt chaser? easily seduced by a pretty face?), I'm not completely surprised that he doesn't like women.

Also, should I be concerned that I find his utter failure at photography kind of adorable and odd, considering his best friend is a professional photographer?

...What the fuck did your dad do? A fiancee, seriously? The creepiest part is that apparently she's related/connected to his new skirt?

"I won't sell out my father over my cat." Does that mean your dad's actually tried that/is trying that? jfc

it's kind of cute watching him be concerned over MC, because you can kind of tell that he's warming up to her/starting to like her, but doesn't really get (want to acknowledge?) why.

Your dad is an asshole for using you as a bargaining chip. Also, please note that Jumin apparently cares about the company and how his father's personal life affects it more than his father does. And that Jumin is still more considerate of people's feelings, despite being a "robot."

...Considering the women from your dream sound like gold diggers and possibly at least one cougar/pedophile, I cannot blame you for disliking women.

Also, his dad is really bad at getting him. I feel bad because this seems like the first time this happened? Someone save Jumin from his well meaning, but obviously ignorant-about-his-son's-personality father.

Putting your cat in a cage because you think it’s the safest option does not include the emotional problems of being stuck in a cage

You’re projecting, Jumin... Rika onto Elizabeth? Wtf? I gotta say you apparently dodged a bullet considering what she did to V’s eyes

Jumin talking about controlling his cat is .... really creepy. because he talks about Elizabeth 3rd like she's a person/personified to him, so what would he do with an actual person he cares for?

he thinks intimacy is a luxury. jfc

So I'm at your place, but I'd really like an explanation for the cage.

y'all know things are bad when Jaehee knows he's unstable. ...why am i at his place at night again?

So while I'm enjoying you riling up Zen, some of your comments creep me out ("I don't want anyone else to look at her"). That's creepy (and also not a response I would choose), even if it is kind of cute.

are you offering to cook, or are you offering your chefs? Because strawberry pancakes sound delicious.

...wtf, put me to bed? I am not a child or a pet. 

Yoyoyo, does this imply you had feelings for Rika? omf not another person who wants me to be her replacement jfc yoosung was bad enough

Who is surprised that Elizabeth 3rd ran away? Not me.

i cannot believe you went and used lines from a soap opera to play Sarah. ...And that it worked

...Is this REALLY the time to be kissing me!? And what is it with these men and kissing me when I'm not ready for it!? Seriously, these guys have some awful timing.

Um... no. You are not giving Elizabeth 3rd back to V. You obivously love her, and you need more than just MC to care about, Jumin.

...I cannot believe you just said "the use is fairly similar" when I asked if I was a replacement for your pet. If I could, I'd run. I'd run SO FAR.

I'm pretty sure Elizabeth ran away because you legit went and caged her for hours when she's used to roaming around your penthouse freely.

...forever? HELL NO. I am my own person and deserve to be treated as such.

this complete 180 in personality is disturbing as hell.

Possessive Jumin scares me. A lot. At least he knows a relationship needs time.

...Half the shit coming out of your mouth sounds so creepy.

Trapping me somewhere and telling me it's for my own good is not protecting me... it's making me desperate to leave.

omfg, the Jumin phone call with the hilarious response!

Jumin's building is like a gilded cage. it terrifies me on a level i can't comprehend. like, I may be a bit of a shut in, but even I leave the goddamn building when I feel like it. It's the fact that I have the choice to leave, i think.

He feels... surprisingly less menacing/creepy on Day 9. Thank god.

Oh thank god they found Elly. hopefully this means Jumin will CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

I'm with Jumin on this one, his dad is really blinded if he thinks hiding your credit report from a businessman you're trying to marry is a good idea. That just screams goldigger

The fact that Jumin actually expressed his emotions and concerns to his dad, jfc that's progress. Also, he's managed to find a middle ground, SCORE!

...dude, how often do you say thank you and that you appreciate Jaehee;s work if she's that shocked?

that phone call immediately after the meeting with father is actually pretty sweet? omg. but the one where I call him after that VN was kind of... eh. not as nice

...When was the last time jaehee got a holiday? When was th elast time you LET her!?

...Okay, the VN after the 21:46 chat on Day 10 wasn't bad until the very end. Then it got weird. I am NOT a thing to be devoured jfc.

THANK YOU for seeing what's wrong with Rika's vision of a perfect world.

"We like each other. How can we be dangerous to each other." - THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS TO RESPOND TO THIS I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO START.

YOU ARE NOT PUTTING ME IN A GODDAMNED CAGE. I AM NOT A PET OR AN ANIMAL JFC THAT'S NOT SOMETHING TO JOKE ABOUT.

I feel like you're planning some sick burns, and it involves public humiliation. I'm so down for this.

At least you're letting me out of the penthouse?

Your idea of marriage is weird, but understandable. Also, I hope to HELL that wasn't a proposal after you only met me 10 Days ago, and LOCKED ME IN YOUR APARTMENT FOR MOST OF THOSE DAYS.

...what's with the rings on you status icon?

YES YOU'RE BEING TOO POSSESSIVE.

You sound kind of adorable as a kid.

Now that he's let me go home, he's actually kind of cute? I liked his Christmas DLC ending better tho.

Oh my god, that's savage.Public humiliation ftw.

YOU ACTUALLY PROPOSED. WTF. the dress is awesome though. i'd wear that but with less boob window

Seven

I'm so sorry. T_T I'm leaving your route for last, which means I need to be mean/indifferent to you and this sucks like hell. Especially since I get to talk to you more than once in a while. Almost none of the responses I want to make in Days 1-4 are the ones I chose to get this route. this is pain. none of this is okay. i am not okay. i will probably not be okay whenever i think about seven during Jumin's route.

The space station phone call makes me want to cry, because shit, he obviously is crushing at this point? And I'm going to end up crushing his heart into itty bitty pieces and I can't stand it. It's like... like waiting for the inevitable, and the suspense only builds because you know it's gonna happen, but you don't know how bad the resulting reaction will be.

The cat dream phone call makes me really fucking sad. because taken into consideration with the conversation Unknown and Seven had in Yoosung's route, and Unknown's rant in Yoosung's Bad End 3, I'm getting very concerned about Seven's childhood.

Everytime you break the fourth wall, I squee. And goddamn, you're right about games and Yoosung.

Zen and Seven are so freaking mean to Jumin, omf. but seriously this is the kind of drag I'd do to my friends, so long as they knew I was open for retaliation and didn't mean half of it

Your love for your cars is kind of adorable.

Seven’s friendships w yoosung and zen are hilarious and adorable. Like, give me more of it.

Why do i think that half the things you claim come from a book you read are actually things you think up yourself?

Every time you meet Unknown, my feels hurt. And I really, really want that explanation for who he is.  I mean, I read spoilers obviously, if you've seen my tags, but I wanna see how the game reveals it.

This man, seeing him sound so broken after his encounter with Unknown continues to upset me. That phone call about relationships hurts to, because there is CLEARLY some projecting going on there.

THIS FUCKING PHONE CALL.

Jfc, Seven is not okay. I'm so glad i can ask if he is or not and not end up on a bad end. But damn is it not fun to see him break. And the aftermath.

You're not okay (the 15:29 chatroom sounds like you're talking about Unknown btw, which I mean, MC doesn't know, but is obvious to anyone who is watching you), but I hope you can be okay soon.

Also, this just makes things even worse to me? Because not only has the person he cared about NOT chosen him, but the person from his past who was supposed to be safe and happy apparently hates him. And he's not getting any answers. Like, this just might the worst route for Seven?

Wait, what did V promise you? What does it have to do with unknown? Good lord, I want answers. Mostly so you finally have them.

Zen

Stop flirting with everything in a skirt that breathes. Especially me. That can only end badly.

Also, please know I agree with you SO HARD about Jumin's treatment of his workers, but again, I'm going for Jumin's route this time, which means agreeing with him.

But please, quit picking on jumin about being an "ice king" or "robot," because he literally does not know how to express emotions.

You and Seven are so freaking mean to Jumin, omf.

Zen’s dream is creepy. Adding meowing to the creepy music box music is not cool

your misconceptions about Jumin's life is amusing and concerning

lololol Big Brother Zen does not like MC being alone with Jumin.

Thank you Zen, for saying everything I've been saying about this situation.

religious nuts? Zen!? What if that's Mint Eye

Zen continues to be the best dude for coming to MC's defense.

Yoosung

I'm so afraid for this boy because he's so gullible. You'd think he'd know by now that Seven likes to troll people. No, I'm not counting the resets in that statement. Seven made it clear basically in the first couple of chats/calls/texts he participated in that he's a humongous troll when it suits him.

OMFG the infamous M call. I was not prepared for that holy shit.

omf Yoosung. STUDY. PLEASE. ...And now you have summer classes.

your misconceptions about Jumin's life is amusing and concerning (the bodyguard thing at least)

your insight into Jumin and his view of relationships is... really close to what i thought. good job yoosung!

I pity Yoosung for taking care of Elizabeth.

Jaehee

I'm so sorry I have to condone Jumin's work practices for a good end. And that I just gave Jumin a new cat project. You don't deserve this bullshit. No one deserves this bullshit.

Are you playing wingwoman? because it might actually be working.

I don't blame you for this really creepy situation.

you're so kind of try and assuage Zen's worries.

I understand your frustration with Jumin and wholeheartedly support it

I'm so glad you get a holiday omfg. Also, it’s hella cute and kinda depressing that you’re so happy about getting the vacation.

V

Your friendship with Jumin is so cute wtf.

is it your guilt complex and your need to keep the memebrs "safe" that would make you upset that Yoosung is going along with Seven? Because if so, that's kind of hypocritical considering Seven's a member, and you wanted him to go alone.

Goddamn it V. Thanks to your secrecy, I can't go back to the apartment.

ANSWER SEVEN. PLEASE. SEEING HIM SO DOWN IS NOT FUN.

Oh my god you're sassy. I wasn't expecting that. It's awesome though. Legit, half the fandom seems to forget that V is a sassy mofo. We need more of it.

Rika

...Wow, you are crazy. "A device that can take everything, that can delete everything"... What the hell kind of shit is in that apartment, Rika? Because there is no way there's only information about your party guests... Or is that the entire point? Is there blackmail there?

...You just sounded so nice there, talking to Jumin. Wtf happened to you?

A world without pain or mistakes... that's so idealistic... and impossible. Progress is important! We'll stagnate otherwise, and while being comfortable is important, so is making progress so that EVRYONE is happy. You can't tell me that those who are poor and starving and sick are happy where they are. Feeling sad is HEALTHY, especially after making a mistake or being affected by one. It's what keeps us empathetic and compassionate towards others!

...Are you REALLY asking your BOYFRIEND'S BEST FRIEND if he'd date you? REALLY!? I CANNOT BELIEVE... That's so cruel to V! Even if it WAS a joke!

And honestly, that last statement sounds like you want everyone to like... commit assisted group suicide or something.

Unknown & Mint Eye

Why does it seems like Unknown is talking to you in the VN from Day 2? It's so creepy, especially when you're reading that chat in the dark, after having woken up in the middle of the night for the game.

Goddamn it you gave me a heart attack. I can't tell if it's the music that scared me more or the messages.

...How have I gone three routes and not realized your HQ is a fucking castle?

Sarah & Glam Choi

Fucking gold diggers and attention whores, man. I cannot believe y'all are trying to use Jumin and his dad for money. Like, wtf?

Also, what the hell gave you the idea that Jumin is the type to mix work and pleasure? Also, Jaehee could totally do better than Jumin.

You are never getting rid of Elizabeth 3rd. It's stupid to think you can try, let alone succeed.

Goddamn it, using the paparazzi to your advantage is a dick move.

Knew you were after their money. You company is weak af Sarah, and apparently you have no idea how to make money.

...how stupid are you to think that Jumin couldn't recognize his own goddamn cat.

...Y'all just got PLAYED by the Ice King.

Public humiliation ftw! now leave and don't come back.

Uh... I couldn’t really enjoy this route very much because of the very possessive and creepy undertones halfway through the 11 days. I mean, I know he gets better, but honestly, that shouldn’t be behavior an s/o should have to stick around and try to “fix.” It also sounds a lot like coercive behavior abusers would use? Basically, I think Jumin needs a therapist who will probably need their own therapist instead of a girlfriend, because that kind of emotional burden is heavy and not something I think I personally could handle.

I was talking to someone else about this route, and we agreed that his route really isn’t good for anyone who isn’t personally emotionally or mentally healthy/alright.