#gotta get that serotonin somehow

[ered]

it's crazy it's party

[soaps-mohawk]

So...I may have lied a little bit.

I was doing some reworking of the plot of the fic, more so just the timeline of the upcoming chapters and when everything is going to happen. After a mental breakdown yesterday and some conversations with some friends and fellow writers, I've decided to switch around a few things as far as when they happen in the story just for my sanity, but also because I don't want things to feel like they're dragging too much.

So, I fear I may have lied a bit to anyone who I told the reader's traumatic past will be the next sort of big conflict and the worst angst of Part 4. That's now not true. It's still very much going to be a struggle and will be addressed in Part 4, but it just won't be resolved until later than I had planned originally.

Part 4 is going to be the longest part by far, and a lot is going to happen in it. So buckle your seatbelts and hang on because things are going to start happening fast.

Also, I'm thinking the next chapter won't be coming out until Sunday. After how busy I was earlier this week and then completely rearranging part of the story as well as Chapter 15, I'd like to take a little extra time on it.

[aeb-art]

what's going on with geo that might cause this reaction?

characters belong to @8um8le

[hermanunworthy]

me the second i feel the slightest bit upset

[shadowkira]

I want to join discords to talk to people about ships up until I actually join because then I never know what to say. Or, because of my weird schedule, I end up popping in hours later and feel like the topic has shifted.

I also feel like I never want to bug mutuals, so I stay quiet...

What I'm saying is, I am bad at initiating conversations but I do really want to talk.

My inbox is open if anyone ever wants to discuss ships. 🫣

[sweet-as-kiwis]

Mother dearest is coming down this weekend to pick up as many of my things as possible! Unfortunately as I still have a week before I can go home, that means. All of my decorations are getting packed up on Friday

I should probs take a picture of the living room, it was. So freakin cute I’m gonna miss it

[hakirachan]

Just a little thought bc I’m depressed and have nothing better to do with my life, and this site is my only way to get even a scrap of serotonin atp (*tiiiny spoiler of NB, near the beginning of the game)

So, we know how the Devildom has all sorts of things that are considered common there, but are new to us, right? (Like the hypnotizing plants*)

Okay well what if it was the opposite? Like, we have something really, REALLY common that we think everyone knows about, but our lil demon babies can’t even imagine something like that.

FOR EXAMPLE!!

*mc going shopping*

Lucifer: Ah, MC, you’re here too. MC: Hey! Uh, can you tell me where to find the corn? I can’t find it. Lucifer: …excuse me, what? MC: The…corn? Lucifer: What do you mean by that? MC: Huh?- MC:*(sudden realization)* MC: YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT CORN IS?! Lucifer: Please keep your voice down… MC: Oh, we gotta fix that!

*-one trip to the human world later…-*

Lucifer: What is this stuff? It’s sweet, but somehow savory at the same time.. MC: It’s corn!

(a big lump with knobs~)

[sanddusted-wisteria]

Doodle Dump, 1/2024 - 4/2024 (part 1)

So uh...I haven't posted as much on here ever since like, the beginning of this year. Instead, I've been doodling like mad over on the OTAS server and have completely neglected to post any of that over here alsdkjalk. So here's most of the doodles I've done, oldest to newest :> (with wild variations in quality,.,,, a lot's changed in my art skillz in 6 months)

[VERY long post below]

A staring contest, ft. @florisam 's Onyx and @illusidy 's Aerie...queens of the death stare.

Thank @/florisam for this one lol

After a body swap AU where Wis swaps with Qi...Wis has to do manual labor with Qi's wimpy wet noodle caffeine dependent body and Qi's def not taking proper care of Wis's body either... probably doesn't put her hair up if he works with a burner or corrosive chemicals aldkfjl

from a superhero/villain AU, wis is neither hero nor villain...she's the civilian that somehow ends up at the epicenter of every super battle and takes advantage of that by becoming a hero/villain accountant 😂

started drawing some more outfits for Wis, but I never finished them. Will probably get back to these a bit later.

and ofc she's gotta try on Qi's disaster outfit asd;lfkdjlrk

I made Wis a logo! Combined a sprig of wisteria with a pine cone, for her workshop, Fresh Pines. Also made a possible combo logo for her and Qi. Y'know, in case they ever make that multistage rocket + launchpad they've been dreaming about...

Wis would be stoked to get her new stamps :>

Wis as a butler in a maid cafe AU...that I do not have the space or time to fully outline the extent of the chaos within... (inquire in the OTAS server for more info asdlkjlrkadf) Also the first time I drew Wis's clone sisters (which I am aware that I haven't introduced at all on tumblr...I wouldn't blame you if you forgot that Wis is a clone 😂 but SOON I promise)

Ft. @spookemsdukems 's "Builder", it's the mystery gorls! No one really knows where they came from. Well, they know. But they're sure as hell not gonna tell you... (ehhh well wis might tell you about herself if you're friends lol)

asdlfklj based on a quote from an incorrect quotes generator

Initial concepts for one of Wis's clone sisters, the one that ended up in Duvos! Eugh the attempt at a waist up in the bottom right corner still haunts me asdlkfjlkjd Also note that that's not what a real prosthetic AK peg leg would look like, I did these without any real research 💀

Ft. @sunstream7 's Val...no explanation needed i think alsdkfja;sdlkrj

An idea I had about a romance/post-marriage gift that Qi could give you: a necklace with dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin that he managed to synthesize...the neurotransmitters of love <3

Love is the Solution: A special necklace given to you by Qi. The little vial contains a mix of neurotransmitters--the mixture of love. Even though they're trapped inside the vial, when you put it on, you swear you can feel them surging through your nerves all the same. Stamina +15

And I've hit the image limit so this is the end of part 1 a;sldkrjlkjlakfj

[alphian-hcs]

Idia totally cringes when Yuu busts out his cheap crowly supplied phone. Dude totally decides to give Yuu an upgrade because yeah they really do deserve better.

"You definitely gotta get an upgrade."

Let's be honest. Crowely gave Yuu a crappy flip phone and called it a day lmao. Also yes, musical reference in title because hehe musical make alphian brain go brr. Ngl, I forgot a lot of tech terms while writing this lmao.

----------------------------------------------

-Oh boy. oh boy oh boy. That modified third grade calculator will NOT do! If your going to be Idia's player 2 (platonically or romantically) He will never have you going out with that glorified PCB that seemed like it was always smoking

-Idia is already working away as soon as he see's the phone, making ides in his head before writing them down in a notebook or in his phone for when he arrives back to his dorm. He orders a high rated phone brand(rich ass-), and as soon as it arrives he begins his work on it adding his own modifiers on,making it run faster than a cheetah with sonic's powers.

-He would 100% add on some phone case with a favorite show, like the ones that glow and wirelessly charge the phone so that there is little to no need to charge it between classes. ----------------

Idia had just finished up the modification of the phone he had purchased, and wrapped it up in a box with a nice blue and black bow. Idia of course knew it wasn't Yuu's birthday or anything, but after seeing that somehow functioning electrical fire hazard in Yuu's hand he just couldn't stop thinking of it. Now that the gift was finished though, he had a smile on his face, knowing that this would be like getting a 100 exp booster for Yuu. Idia left his room, Ortho coming with for support, both brothers heading to Ramshackle, Idia fidgeting with his fiery hair as he walked, a few paces behind Ortho to be able to take time to compose himself.

When they arrived, Ortho rang the doorbell, a prolonged, broken chime ringing into the rundown house. Soon Yuu walked out, seeing the two Shrouds, smiling as they spoke. "oh? what brings you two? I thought Idia had a event." they said, taking out their Crowley supplied phone, making the tech-wiz cringe at it, before he nervously walked over to the prefect. "well...I saw that phone you had and thought.. I w-would get and make a b-better one for you.. I mean, that glorified Motorola is pretty terrible.. so, I modified this one." He said, handing the box to Yuu, a smile on his face as he watched the prefect open the box.

"Whoa- Idia this is so cool! How should I pay you back?" Yuu asked, looking to the male who held his hand up "no need-" he attempted to say, but Ortho cut him off with a request. "You can pay us back by continuing to be my big brother's friend! Whenever he's around you his serotonin levels increase tenfold!" He said with a smile, making Idia panic and pull his hood up and pull the tassels to close the opening and hide himself from the others, his face red from being exposed for enjoying a 'normie's' company.

[why-the-heck-not]

Hi! I've been a follower for some time now and I always see your posts about trying to be productive and consistent. I'm a student who's studying fully online, and because I'm only doing my thesis, I spend all my time to myself, it gets really lonely, and I feel somehow disconnected with the work and end up not doing it at all. Do you have any tips? Also, I really enjoy your updates!

Hii! I truly get you, I’ve been doing like 95% of my studies at home myself too. Got the same feelings, so I don’t rly have a solid solution, but libraries help a lot. There are other ppl there so it’s not so lonely, and less distractions and something abt going home around the same time other ppl are going home from their jobs makes me feel a lot more like I’m actually in this society/world etc.

Ideal would be to have like a routine of going to do ur studies somewhere and coming back home after u’ve done ur things for the day. (I don’t follow this but would love to and I think it would really help; did do that in january for like a week and it was nice & I felt like a real person (but then the winter got to me lol)).

Also other things that have helped a bit:

Leaving the apartment every day, no matter where or for how long. Just gotta get outside

Routines <3 a sleeping schedule <3 makes things feel a lot less like a mess. (especially a solid morning routine is very important I think)

Going to the gym in the morning (bc gets u out of the house for a decent amount of time first thing so then the threshold of leaving somewhere later on the day is smaller)

Purposely going in places when it’s the 5-6pm rush hours (mainly grocery store bc like where else would I go) even tho it sort of sucks. But I used to avoid those and then realized I’d been seeing like maybe max 10 ppl per week and felt insane, like in an apocalyptic movie sort of way. Just try to get urself to places where there’s other ppl lol (except a warning: friday & saturday evenings? Stay inside lmao, there’s only friendgroups etc. out, and that makes it feel very lonely (at least that’s my experience lol))

Podcasts and music and tvshows and books all the time lol drown out the lonely (not maybe the healthiest but better than a social media doom scroll bc that just makes it feel like u’re the only one living like this, and u’re not)

Walks !!! Walks make everything better always. Feel sad? Frustrated or confused about anything ?Not fully there? Walk it out !! (Also music/podcast during the walk and it’s super chill)

Caffeine bc dopamine & serotonin (nothing a cup of coffee wouldn’t solve)

Putting on actual clothes you could to public places with every morning, even if u aren’t planning on going anywhere rly anytime soon

Live in delusion; u’re not ”studying while feeling lonely”, you’re now the obsessed genius who has no time for anything/anyone else character trope

[coldresolve]

ohh i will make sure to ramble more often then, im glad, do get your serotonin

yes yes i can see the pneumonia coming along and this is great too, i just love seeing conrad trembling, shaking even with shivers and high temperature i dont know why its so appealing.

yeah sure take my liver and kidneys i bet they will be more of use to other people than me ahshshs

okay okay i gotta ask tho when will we be seeing howard? can you hint anything or will it be too much of a spoiler? :oo

hm just one kidney tbh, taking both and the liver is incompatible with life and i do need labor for my future merch sweatshop, you understand. all these cubas and pina coladas aint gonna pay for themselves. dont worry tho basement working conditions are Very Humane, u can trust me

for a vague-but-still-somehow-too-revealing answer, howard will show up at some point. whether it's in moneymakers though, that sure is a good question. 🤐

[midnightcreator12]

I need to say this, cuz smth embarassing happened to me and now I can't stop imagining Chula in that scenario and literally any turtle.

Because yesterday, I was talking to one of my friends and on one word, I started stuttering SO much. Istg it was SO bad😭

I went "Haha, crazy that you said that cud-cu- don't- I-dont...do-don't.. huh???? Cuz you- don't.. what the fuck were we talking about??"

And now I can't stop this moment in my head and I need to get it out somehow. However, knowing my mind (hopefully) it won't stop anyways but yea, i've been imagining Chula as the poor girly-pop who needs to listen to Leo stutter as if he don't know how to fucking talk. Or she'll laugh, who knows?

She gon go "Oh don't worry bout my kid. He's okay. Or...mildly on drugs... morphine...maybe. Wouldn't know how THAT happened tho. Or he knows how to un-learn the whole shabbing alphabet. Could be it."

Don't mind me. Just a lil' guy that wants to feed myself and others some serotonin with these little shenigans.

Be sure to drink a lot and treat yourself to your favourite snack. And don't forget those blankets for some nice rest this night.

-Best regards, everyone needs therapy, but I do too, so that makes up for it.-

So, your ask got me think of what Leo could be rambling about to cause him to stumble over his words. Which made me think about when I stutter like I don't know English and how it happens most often when I'm overly excited about shows and movies and my brain moves quicker than my mouth.

And THAT made me think about the fact Chula basically lives in the Rise Lair now so, of course, the boys will be showing her all the Lou Jitsu and Jupiter Jim movies. And THAT made me wonder what Chula's relationship with sci-fi would be like.

Because she's LIVED THOSE THINGS, more or less. The 'fiction' in sci-fi is basically all the stuff she had as everyday items and events. But, since the tmnt shows are kind of silly, the silly shows within the shows are pretty ridiculous so Chula is basically watching a horrible interpretation of a rough idea that was a fully developed thing in her dimension.

In short, Chula Verd doesn't like sci-fi because seeing all the completely incorrect interpretations of how space travel and exploration and space wars work is just painful but she knows the boys like it so she just smiles and tells them that it was a great movie.

And then I wrote a dabble about Leo stuttering while they watch a movie! Enjoy!

“Oh, oh, oh! This part is awesome! This is when Jupiter Jim crash lands on the alien turtle planet and he’s gotta fight his way to the super secret base-”

Chula nodded along as Leo explained the scene playing out of the kid's holoprojector.

Since she was staying long term, they had all taken turns catching her up on ‘every modern culture medium she needed to know about’. And at the very top of that list were their favorite holo-drama franchises.

One of which was a series about this space explorer slash adventurer called Jupiter Jim. An absurdly massive franchise that, in Chula’s opinion, was following the worst interplanetary explorer she’d ever seen. It was a wonder he hadn’t started a galaxy-wide diplomatic incident and all the conflicts were usually contained to the planet he visited per film.

But the boys liked Jupiter Jim and she had nothing but time to kill, so she tried to pay attention when they dragged her to the beanbag chairs for a movie night, either as a group or one at a time. And in both circumstances, she would smile and nod and sit through the horrible inaccurate depiction of how space travel works and what the protocols were for making first contact and getting far more enjoyment from listening to Leo break down every scene and how it was made instead of actually watching the film.

Leo gestured to the screen, hands flapping almost too quickly to track as he chattered away, “Oh, the production details of this are really cool! Did you know this was made a decade ago and the effects still hold up better than a lot of the CGI they use now? Yeah, yeah, it’s ‘cause they were tryin’ new stuff, lots of stuff, the director was really trying to push JJ onto the big dogs franchise map with this! They had a whole studio that- that they made the sets in and- and- and the costumes were reva- rev- re- re-, bah, bah, bah- Revolutionary! They handmade every single cell- sale- sail- Fuck!”

Chula blinked when Leo cut himself off, crossing his arms and blowing an angry little raspberry. She waited a few moments for him to keep going, mild disappointment rising when he just made unhappy little grumbles under his breath. 

She glanced back at the holo-drama, fighting the urge to wrinkle her nose at it. She would never, ever tell the boys but…she had found out after the first Jupiter Jim film that she didn’t enjoy ‘science fiction’. Mostly because of the fact that most of the hypothetical ‘fiction’ was very close to things that were pretty standard on most of the planets she’d been to in two realities. But the movies got so many things so ridiculously wrong it was almost painful for her to watch. The only part she enjoyed about the sci-fi movies was how into them the boys would get, flapping their hands and ranting about their favorite part. 

So Leo not talking anymore was quickly sapping her enjoyment of the one-on-one, impromptu movie night. She leaned over to Leo, lightly bumping their shoulders and asking, “What did they handmake?”

“Huh?” Leo blinked, face smoothing out from the pinched, grumpy expression as he looked up at Chula. 

She tipped her head towards the film, where ‘Jim’ was not doing his job as a ‘simple space explorer’ very well, considering he started shooting the moment an alien poked their head into view, “You were saying that this was the holordrama that made the franchise take off, right? And that they handmade somethin’ that helped it do that?”

“Right, right, uhhh, the alien suits,” Leo, much more calmly this time, pointed to where a turtle alien was running across the screen. “The, um, costume department made every scale on the turtle suits by hand. It helped make them look super realistic.”

Chula nodded, waiting for Leo to keep ranting about the film.

Except he seemed to deflate, tucking his knees up and propping his head on them to stare at the screen.

It made Chula a bit sad, seeing all the excitement just poof away. She loved it when Leo got excited about stuff, waved his hands around, and talked a mile a minute. It was weird when he got too quiet, reminded her of the first few weeks of them traveling together when he was scared and lost and didn’t fully trust her yet.

She carefully poked at his side and jerked her chin towards the holo, “What was the secret behind the little sidekick’s tail? I imagine doing all those stunts was hard to pull off without looking fake.”

Leo’s head perked up a bit, eyes flicking up to see the small, red and white furred alien that followed JJ around, “Red Fox? Oh yeah, she’s a yokai! Me and my bro’s met her once, she helped us save Raphie and JJ from getting melted in acid.”

A part of Chula knew that that statement should have set off more alarm bells for her.

But something she’d learned with these crazy kids was that their lives were nuts and it was better to roll with the punches and weird, wildly out of context statments as they came.

So, instead of freaking out, demanding details, running to Raph to ask if he’d gotten any acid on his person during that event, she nodded and turned back to the holoprojector, “What led up to that little misadventure?”

And, like magic, Leo was rambling away again, sitting up to recount the epic tale of when he and his brothers had gone head to head to claim the coveted place as Jupiter Jim’s fake sidekick.

Chula listened, only interrupting to ask questions if Leo stumbled over his words again in his excitement and basking in the warm atmosphere of the room.

She didn’t like sci-fi, but she loved listening to the boys talk about it so she could put up with a couple hundred terrible movies.

[nitewrighter]

I Got Thyme

I saw on twitter that it's currently Yeehan Week! And one of the prompts for this year is plants! It made me think back to my whole "Watchpoint Garden" headcanon, and I realized it would be a really fun thing to explore for pre-relationship YeeHan. Did you know contact with dirt can raise serotonin levels?

Oh, also this is part of my fic continuity, so if you're new here, you'll want to check out Family Reunions and First Impressions for context.

----

"Do you attempt to break all new recruits with hard labor?" Hanzo asked as they walked.

"Look," Cassidy was rubbing his eyebrows with his thumb and forefinger, "If you stay here, you gotta help, and you're not exactly in a position to go on missions yet."

"I assure you, I would be more competent against Talon than at least half this Watchpoint."

"No one's sayin' you ain't good at killin'. But part of keeping this whole watchpoint moving means having food, and man does not live on shitty RTE's and shelf-stable dry goods alone."

"I am not a farmhand," said Hanzo.

"And what's wrong with bein' a farmhand?" Cassidy was giving him a raised-eyebrow, half-lidded look that told Hanzo to choose his next words very carefully.

Hanzo narrowed his own eyes at Cassidy. "I simply do not believe this is the best use of my time, or the best use of me as an asset,"

"You know 'probationary period' means we're still figuring out if we want you as an asset," said Cassidy.

"Somehow I doubt your organization can afford such exclusivity."

"Well, we certainly can't be picky when it comes to farmhands, I can tell you that much," Cassidy adjusted his belt as they walked.

A growling 'hmm' rumbled deep in Hanzo's throat as they approached the orange trees bordering the watchpoint garden.

Hanzo soon quickly regretted the ‘hard labor’ and ‘farmhand’ comments as it became immediately clear that whoever was available and not on a mission or working on some other immediately technically demanding task around the Watchpoint was working in the garden. He recognized a few faces from the night of his arrival. Satya was over near one of the few spaces of wall not covered by an orange tree, setting up a lattice. Ana was pruning back some ornamental perennials they were presumably using for pollination and pest control. Orisa was rearing back on her hind legs with some large shears, trimming away dead branches on the orange trees. Hanzo watched as her head swiveled at him and her optical sensors narrowed. A part of him knew he would have to apologize to her, if he was going to start getting any respect and traction from the rest of this group (but did he really want it?) and yet at the same time he was still so frustrated by this ridiculous 'probationary program' that they had clearly cooked up because of his presence and had not had as an established longstanding policy, that he didn't want to dignify the concept of having to earn this Watchpoint's respect.

An almost equally large, blocky robot was tilling up a new patch of soil. Hanzo's brow crinkled at the sight of the bastion unit. He knew it was on the watchpoint from his preliminary recons on the watchpoint--in truth, its presence had only made him more suspicious of Genji's organization. What kind of people would keep something that had caused such horrific devastation? But seeing it now threw him off. It was making chirruping beeping noises as it worked, in some eerie imitation of humming, as a yellow bird dizzily circled its head and tweeted tunelessly along.

"Yeah, Bastion gets that reaction a lot," said Cassidy, and Hanzo snapped out of his focus.

"Why would you keep something like that around?" asked Hanzo on reflex.

"Bastion's Torbjorn's..." Cassidy hesitated.

"Pet?"

"...buddy," It was clear Cassidy had some skepticism himself on the matter, but was far more used to Bastion's presence.

"Does it go on missions as well?"

"Not that often. We've brought it along on some missions outreaching with omnic communities, some non-combat ecology missions. I can think of like, maybe two missions where there was actual combat but that wasn't really planned. Other than that, it's a bit of a homebody."

"Non-combat missions?" Hanzo arched an eyebrow.

"Yup."

"That is a gun with legs," said Hanzo.

"Well, it doesn't want to be a gun with legs. It wants to be a gardener, and we're more than happy to help it with that."

"So happy you could join us, Cole," Ana stepped up to both of them and Hanzo felt himself tense at the words 'Join us.'

"Well, I figured y'all could use a little extra muscle," Cassidy demonstratively put a hand on his own shoulder and circled his arm with a grin.

Ana's gaze shifted Hanzo with a deliberate slowness. A slight smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth. "So you're really going along with Winston and Jack's plan, then?" she said, her eyes flicking back to Cole.

Hanzo hated being referred to as a 'plan.'

"Just helpin' where I can," said Cassidy with an easy shrug. He bumped his shoulder into Hanzo's, "And he's here to help, too."

"You all... seem to have the. matter well in hand--" Hanzo started, glancing around awkwardly.

"Trust me, we're playing catch-up. I'm sure you'll find something," said Ana, before looking over at Cassidy, "In fact, Cole, we were hoping you could take a look at the irrigation Satya and Torbjörn have planned for the new plot, seeing as technically you have more experience with those systems than a lot of people here."

"Ah hell, I was just a teenager," Cassidy itched at the hair poking out under the brim of his hat.

"That experience is still worth something," said Ana.

A prickle of realization went up the back of Hanzo's neck.

What's wrong with bein' a farmhand?

Of course... Hanzo thought grimly, watching as Cassidy pushed up the sleeves of his shirt and followed Ana over to the area that Bastion was digging up. Hanzo moved to follow over, though he wasn't exactly sure what he would do, when he heard a polite, "Excuse me?"

"Hanzo, right?" a voice piped up next to him and Hanzo glanced sharply over and down at a round, pleasant face, with sunlight catching in glasses.

"We haven't met yet. I'm Mei, would you like to help me in the greenhouse?"

Hanzo's brow crinkled.

----

It really wasn't enough of a 'house' to be called a greenhouse. More of a green 'shed,' or a green 'shanty.' Hanzo frowned over the seedlings in the egg carton before glancing up at Mei, who was carefully cutting out her selections from their egg carton with some shears. He glanced over at several seedlings growing out of cut up cardboard tubes. For one of the leading scientists of her time, Mei wasn't picky when it came to seed containers, and apparently neither were the plants.

"Just separate out the bigger sprouts from the littler ones," said Mei, "We want the most viable plants for the new plot. If you see an extra sprout in the cell, you can just clip that one short. We don't want to risk damaging the roots this early. we want about 6 plants each of tomatoes and peppers."

"I... see..." said Hanzo, who was still helplessly watching her hands as she worked and feeling even more foolish to be afraid of using gardening shears after decades of skillfully handling deadly weapons.

"We've been wanting to expand the growing area for a while," Mei was talking, "It's just, we knew that would mean re-doing the irrigation, which isn't that hard, and honestly it really is now or never with these seedlings looking the way they are. It's just one of those things people easily forget about with all the missions and with their own things..."

She had, as she had explained for most of their time in the greenhouse, been back in China researching aquifers in Shanxi when he first arrived on the Watchpoint. Hanzo wasn't sure if she had been briefed on all of the events of his arrival, and was stuck in the annoying limbo of, 'Does she not know or is she actively choosing to ignore all of that?' as Mei spoke. There was a pause and Hanzo realized Mei was waiting for him to respond.

"And... Shanxi was... your business?" Hanzo said slowly, feeling like an idiot. The more time he spent here, the more he heard people talk to each other, the more he realized how few and far between his interactions with people over the years since leaving the Shimada clan had been.

"Honestly, I think water tables are everyone's business already, or at least they should be," there was a giggle in Mei's voice, "But, some work you do with Overwatch, and other stuff... well, you can't."

"Because Overwatch is operating illegally," Hanzo said flatly, cutting away at a cell which seemed to have a strong seedling.

"Er... yes," said Mei, tucking some hair back, sheepishly, "But, even when I'm on my own, I like to think I'm doing the same work I was doing with them 9 years ago, even if a lot of things are different now."

"And... you are not a soldier, but a scientist."

"The amount of times I've heard that!" said Mei with an eye roll.

"So... you are a non-combatant as well? Like... the Bastion unit?" Hanzo clipped a stray sprout in its cell, and felt oddly guilty in doing so.

"It's not 'the bastion unit' it's just 'Bastion,'" said Mei, easily clipping away at her own seedlings, "But... no, I fight."

"You fight?" Hanzo repeated incredulously.

"Well it's not usually that direct, it's more like the cryo-gun has a lot of applications that can help my team. Raising barriers, creating platforms to get us to higher levels, sometimes creating temporary fixes to unstable structures... it's not all guns blazing all the time!"

"...clearly," said Hanzo, looking at his own seedlings.

"Well, I think we're all set for the tomatoes and peppers!" said Mei, with their selected seedlings all lined up.

"What about this one?" Hanzo held up one of his own seedlings, not wanting to admit that he was a little hurt that she seemed to favor her own selections over his.

"Well, we only have limited space in the garden and these guys are going to get a lot bigger--but you can just keep that one for yourself, if you like? I'm sure we have a spare pot lying around..."

Hanzo glanced at the seedling, and then looked at Mei. "...why?"

"Plants are good for you! I honestly think the Watchpoint could use more green outside the garden. Think of it like... a welcome gift!"

"I am only here on probation," Hanzo said flatly.

"Oh..." Mei said quietly.

"But... I do not know when I will be leaving so... I will see that it is taken care of until then."

"Oh--um, good," said Mei.

A long pause passed between them. Mei was awkwardly sweeping spare bits of dirt off of their worktable.

"Hey, so... you weren't trying to hurt anyone when you came onto the Watchpoint, right?"

So she does know, Hanzo thought sourly.

"No," said Hanzo, "But... I apologize for damaging your security drone."

"What security drone?" Mei tilted her head and a half-sphere-shaped robot suddenly hovered to her side, making a quizzical whirring sound. Okay, so she hadn't heard everything, apparently.

"Eh--" Hanzo stammered at the robot. How many pet robots do they have? he thought, bewilderedly.

"Oh, sorry! This is Snowball! Snowball, Hanzo." Mei gestured at Hanzo to her robot, "But sorry, you were saying about a security drone?"

Hanzo remembered, at this point, how he had managed to make everyone who had confronted him that night hate him by referring to Orisa as a security drone, and he had simply referred to her as a security drone in that moment because he was too frustrated with the concept of apologizing to someone whom he was just meeting now for something she hadn't even been here for to remember Orisa had a name.

"There was--" Hanzo started, but then there was a creak of the greenhouse door opening and Ana leaned in.

"Mei, do you mind if I borrow him for a bit? We're shelling the last of the broad bean harvest."

"Do you mind?" Mei looked at Hanzo.

Hanzo minded a lot of things about the current situation, but now was in a position where he wasn't sure if he was more annoyed at Ana talking as if he didn't have a choice in the matter, and Mei talking to him as if he did. Where was the damned discipline in this place? But instead, all that came out of his mouth was, "...beans?"

---

Both Hanzo and Ana sat at a temporary hard-light table with hard-light chairs in the shade of one of the orange trees. Each of them had a small bowl in their lap to catch the beans as they shelled them. A large bowl, slowly being filled with shelled beans was between them, and a slowly growing pile of empty bean pods was at their feet. Hanzo hated to admit that he liked this work far more than working with the seedlings. In a way it reminded him of crafting his own arrows, in a more menial, mindless way.

"I think we got off on the wrong foot," said Ana, tossing down a

"You shot me with a sleeping dart."

"You broke onto the watchpoint and attacked both Orisa and Cole."

"They attacked me--"

"Did they attack you, or did they talk to you first?"

"...they... told me to lower my weapon."

"The weapon you had at the ready while breaking onto our Watchpoint."

"...yes."

Ana was giving him a steady, tired-but-patient look. "You're very used to doing things on your own terms, aren't you?"

Hanzo returned her gaze with a mild glower.

Hanzo wasn't exactly sure how long he would keep up the glare, but the moment of tension was abruptly ended when Bastion clunked up to them and gestured at the bean pods at their feet with a questioning chirrup.

"Yes, dear, thank you," said Ana as Bastion scooped up the bean pods and clunked off again towards the compost pile.

"...you fought in the crisis, didn't you?" Hanzo asked.

"I did," said Ana.

"And you have no issue living with a Bastion unit?"

"You seem a bit hung up on that."

"I have no issues with omnics, I've worked with many in my travels, but that is clearly not a typical laborer unit, and I am trying to understand why it is here."

"Why 'it' is here..." Ana repeated musingly and Hanzo felt the back of his neck burning.

"If it does not fight..." Hanzo trailed off.

"Not everything is about combat," said Ana.

Hanzo gave Ana a skeptical look.

"Overwatch was initially formed to combat the omnic crisis, this is true, but many believe that our greater contributions were in our relief efforts, in our scientific research and advancements," Ana looked over at Bastion, turning over the compost pile with a rake, "It's taken some getting used to, but I think I like what Bastion's presence represents to me."

"And that is...?"

"That we are more than the battles we fought. That we can shape ourselves beyond the circumstances we were made in."

"To be... gardeners," said Hanzo, watching as Bastion took up a shovel-ful of more broken down compost and clunked over to where Cassidy was hoeing up an extra square foot onto the end of their new intended plot. Hanzo's eyes lingered over Cassidy and the way the plaid of his shirt stretched taut over his back muscles, the way his belt stood stubborn over the movement of his hips. Cassidy pushed himself up to his full height, tilted his hat back with his thumb, and wiped the sweat from his brow, his gardening gloves leaving a smudge of dirt amidst the salt and shine, the topmost buttons of his shirt straining with his breath.

"Among other things," said Ana. Hanzo instantly gauged that she could tell where he was looking and shoved his eyes down to the bean pods in his lap.

"It would be more efficient to just attach a hard-light plow to the OR-15 unit," Hanzo muttered, shelling beans faster than usual.

"There's not really enough space for that. Although, you're welcome to try and put a plow on Orisa," Ana said with amusement.

Hanzo's lips just thinned and he shelled in silence. Eventually, though, his eyes did trail back to Cassidy.

"...I should have asked you, how are you two getting along?"

"He... worked on farms prior to this?" said Hanzo, watching as Cassidy guzzled from a water bottle to the point where it was running down his neck. Not realizing he wasn't really answering Ana's question.

"We were able to find some temporary working documentation with a few agro-corps in his records when we first recruited him. He doesn't like talking about it much, but he does have some skills in that area," said Ana. She paused. "He's not a thug, by the way."

"What?" said Hanzo.

"That's what you called him your first night here. A 'thug serving the word of whomever's most convenient to him.'"

Hanzo's shoulders shrank a little.

"He didn't have a lot of say in the matter when he first joined us either," Ana went on, "But he's been one of our most loyal agents over the years, even knowing us at our worst. He knew when we were doing wrong, he knew when things were going rotten, but we were all he had so..." she trailed off, "I don't think he's ever done anything out of 'convenience.'"

Hanzo watched as Cassidy struck down with the hoe once more, jamming a booted foot on top of it, apparently working with a particularly rooty, hard chunk of earth.

"I... spoke more out of emotion than recognition of my environment that night," said Hanzo, "It will not happen again."

"It always happens again," said Ana, "To everyone."

Hanzo gave her a sidelong glance and turned his attention down to his beans. "I can't afford that sort of misstep. And I can't see how you all can sit around gardening and shelling beans when, if Genji is to be believed, you stand on the brink of annihilation from Null Sector and Talon."

"What do you think Genji and the others are doing right now?" said Ana, dumping her own bowl of shelled beans into the larger bowl between them, "There is always the fight, but there's also the garrison. There's making sure there's a place to regroup, to recover, to strategize, to assess the threats present to us" she demonstratively shook a bean pod at him, "To eat."

Hanzo snorted softly.

"You have been alone for a long time," Ana said quietly, casting an empty bean pod to the ground.

"I have," Hanzo admitted, "And... I am not sure if I am capable of helping build what you are describing."

"According to your dossier, you're, in theory, a highly proficient strategist and organizer."

"That was for criminals. This is..." Hanzo trailed off.

Ana just shrugged and continued shelling. "You know," she said, "In the military, there's two kinds of people--well, it's more of two ends of a spectrum, really. You have the people who joined because they like the concept of order, both having discipline put in their lives, and being able to have order over others--the ability to say something, and then see others put your words into action. Then there are others--they join for their own reasons, they don't take to the authority as well, but they prove themselves highly adaptable in combat. No one is 100% of either, and you need people who have a well-balanced mix of all those attributes, or a good mix of people who lean more towards one or the other, to have a successful team. A team that's too dependent on falling in line can't adapt when things change, and things will change, and a team that's full of self-declared mavericks can't pull together as a unit."

"Why are you telling me this?" said Hanzo.

"I don't think I've ever met someone who is such a thorough mix of both those aspects in a way that completely bites them in the ass before you," she paused, "Well, except maybe Jack."

"And you can make this judgment when I've only been on the Watchpoint several days?" Hanzo didn't look up from his own bean pods.

"I've been doing this a long time," Ana said easily.

Hanzo glanced back at Cassidy. "And which type was he?"

"I'll give you one guess," said Ana, and Hanzo gave an amused huff.

----

The shadows were long on the watchpoint by the time they had the irrigation completely set up and all the little seedlings planted at their respective plots. Bastion tweeted as it spread out mulch and raked up stray dirt and clippings. Most of the gardeners dispersed to put away equipment or prep for dinner in the mess hall.

"Whatcha got there?" Cassidy asked as they both walked away from the garden.

"It's...nothing," said Hanzo, holding the small seedling at his side away from Cassidy.

"Doesn't look like nothing," said Cassidy, craning over Hanzo's shoulder to get a better look. He smelled like sweat and crushed leaves and orange rinds and sweet earth.

"It's a plant," Hanzo said flatly, "It was a gift."

"Look at you, makin' friends already," said Cassidy, pocketing his hands, "So what do you think? Now that we all ain't in pajamas and pointing guns and bows at each other?"

Hanzo kept his eyes fixed forward. "I am still trying to understand how you organize yourselves. I came here under the impression that this was a mercenary group, but actually observing you..." he trailed off.

"It's not all gardening, obviously," said Cassidy, "There's maintenance, inventorying, surveying watchpoint security 'n where we need equipment, whether we can whip something up on-site, other means of acquisitions and what-have-you, Winston keep sending out these 'team morale evaluations,'" Cassidy used finger quotes at this, "Yup. I think this was a pretty lucky day to see the Watchpoint like this, t'be honest. And you can bet the old Overwatch wasn't exactly keeping itself fed with a victory garden either—I mean aside from what they'd have for Ecowatch photo-ops. We do what we can to teach each other different jobs. 'Course everyone has different areas of expertise, but you figure out ways to carry each others' loads. Somehow shit pulls together. The wheels haven't fallen off yet." 

"Fewer resources and personnel means a more fluid hierarchy," Hanzo murmured to himself.

"I guess," Cassidy shrugged, "You think about what you want out of all this?"

"What do you mean?" said Hanzo, managing to suppress the question of 'What is there to get out of all this?'

"I mean like... You talk about wanting to fight alongside us---"

"I want to fight because I won't have the only family I have left dying for you."

"And that's great! It is! I mean, I want to think it's great. Again--you're still on probation--"

"You don't have to keep telling me."

"But I'm asking about you. Your plans. We all make it through this, what are you going to do? Are you just going to keep following Genji around? Go back to Japan and try and take that big ol' palace back? Ride off into the sunset?"

Hanzo's jaw set grimly and he didn't answer. Cassidy watched him for a few seconds in silence. Hanzo's eyes met his only briefly, expecting contempt but not finding it. Instead, Cassidy's face had softened. Pity?

"...You don't have to answer that," said Cassidy, a bit too late.

"What about you?" asked Hanzo.

Cassidy just pocketed his hands and fixed his eyes forward. "Ride off into the sunset?" he said again, shrugging, then after a beat he said, "...maybe turn myself in. Get a lawyer. Say my piece. Do my time if I have to. Hell, maybe the system'll be working then."

"...You don't know if you're going to make it out of this alive," Hanzo said quietly.

"I'm just more worried about getting everyone else through this alive," said Cassidy, "You included, believe it or not."

Another long silence passed between them as they walked.

"Don't tell the Captain that, though," said Cassidy, "She fusses over me enough as it is."

"I can tell," said Hanzo. For once the corners of his mouth were pulled in something that was not a frown.

[pancake-breakfast]

Time to start Maximum for Trigun Book Club!

Archive

Trigun Volume 1: Covers + 1-3, 3 Detailed Thoughts, 4, 4 DT, 5-6, 5-6 + DT, 6 DT, 7-8, 9-10

Trigun Volume 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 1 Supplemental Research, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 1, Chapters 1-2 below. (More detailed thoughts will be their own posts.)

TriMax Volume 1 Covers

Kuroneko on the chapter index gives me serotonin.

Vash finally finds a lamp with a genie in it and all he gets is punched. He seriously has the worst luck.

Wolfwook looks VERY possessive over that cross of his....

LOL, switched to the sex doll. Of course.

Chapter 1: Hero Reborn

First Knives is reborn, now Vash will be reborn?

Yeah... kinda hard to forget someone literally shot the moon when there's a giant crater on it now....

Vash with dark hair has made his premiere.

Hmm. Needs more floaty cloth bits.

Well, someone's having a bad day. I know I wouldn't want to end up tied up and tossed in a fountain....

LOL, they shout for the sheriff and the next character we see is Wolfwood. He's not a sherriff!

You gotta know a place is welcoming when you walk into a saloon and everyone immediately pulls a gun on you. I mean, that's just a normal day in Texas or Arizona, right?

Oof. RIP bus.

I mean, I realize Fifth Moon was traumatic and all, but somehow I doubt Vash would be filling someone with "twice his weight in lead."

I guess the person dumped in the fountain was actually the sheriff. Nightow could have shown the guy's badge or something to give us an indication of that....

Poor Vash. He doesn't deserve NEARLY that many knives in his picture.

Everyone has to ask about the cross. Wolfwood rarely actually answers. Deflection and misdirection is better.

LOL, Lina's face here...

Oh, man. WW's face in literally the next panel after Ericks's entrance. He knows exactly who he's looking at.

Vash Ericks, I know you try to look for non-combative solutions, but female-bodied folk really don't have a lot of options when people get handsy if we want them to decide not to push their luck beyond just being handsy.

Ah, see, this is why he thinks she overreacted. Because now a lot more people are in danger.

Heheheheheheh, WW, Lina, and Vash are all in such a close clump here.

Aaaand now "Ericks" has fully noticed Wolfwood.

Who the heck is this evil hamster of a human being?

All I'm saying, buddy, is that her footpring miiiiiight just be an improvement.

Gods, WW is so intent in this situation. Just looking at everything and listening to everything.

Dude, who STOLE VASH'S JACKET?!?! Also, those sunglasses jut feel wrong.

Oh, Ericks. So gentle....

Yeah, pretty sure actual Vash the Stampede wouldn't stoop to humiliating people as part of a power play.

Ericks, though. He's like, "Cool, a bargain where people live at the end!"

I wonder how much of Ericks telling Lina to cover her eyes is because he doesn't want her to see his scars.

WW wasn't really with the group long enough to see Vash's scars before, but this really clears things up for the audience. And you can practically hear the gears grinding in WW's head as he observes this scene.

Dude. This imposter even copied his gay little earing. Now that's commitment.

Opening fire on a naked man? Rude.

*sigh* All of that for nothing 'cause Lina's still caught.

AGAIN?! How often does this guy get shot!?

WW barely knows Vash and he's already like, "I WILL CLOCK ANYONE WHO SPEAKS SLANDER AGAINST HIS NAME."

What? He has super-healing? I mean, I guess that makes sense.

People really need to stop barreling their way into the infirmary....

Sheryl has a point. Things gotta get done. If the young folk won't help, then this old lame woman's gonna have to do it.

LOL, Wolfwood waking up Ericks will never not be one of my favorite scenes.

Awwwww, Wolfwood! Don't remind him about Fifth Moon! He thinks about it every time he sees that moon, I'm sure. It's NOT a pleasant memory in any way, shape or form, and he hates the legends around him!

Ugh, someone give this man a hug....

Cruel, indeed. The way he looks when he picks up that gun. There are so many emotions going on here. Loss, resignation, familiarity, sadness. Seriously. Where are the hugs for this man??

Wolfwood, always the pragmatist. He knows this isn't a great path, and how unfair it is for him to drag Vash back to it. But he also knows it's the path forward.

Heh. Yeah, just the two of them. For Vash to exhibit this amount of trust in WW suggests he's at least suspected WW's true nature for a while.

PUNISHER REVEAL!!!

Annnnnd Vash's first thought on seeing the giant machine gun is, of course, "Please, no death."

This panel of them heading into the fight together just fills me with so much joy.

Fake Vash is in a bit of a pickle, isn't he? Looks like he knows it, too.

Wolfwood reacting to Fake Vash demanding actual Vash say his name is beautiful. He looks like he's gonna die of laughter there in the dirt.

Heh. And with that last gunshot, Vash reclaims who he is.

And even after that reclaiming, he gets a heartfelt, genuine, and warm hug from a young girl who has only really known him as her friend and adopted family member, Ericks. <3

Chapter 2: Lina

"Something freaky is going on here." Yes. You're dealing with Vash the Stampede and Nicholas D. Wolfwood. Even one of those should be enough to cause serious alarm.

SHOES OFF THE BED. Geez. Barbarian....

Ugh, I love his expression here.

I'm sorry, I can't get over Wolfwood's weird duck face in this panel.

This is a very interesting take on the Lady and the Tramp spaghetti dinner scene. That poor sausage....

Aww, you can see where his hair's gone all dark underneath now that he has it tied back.

Well, that's one way to get Vash's attention. He doesn't have as much chill when it comes to his brother. And understandably so.

Uhhhhhh, what's up with that spiky weird shadow guy?

TBH, Vash has good reason to be suspicious of anyone who knows too much about Knives. Knives's games aren't about humans. They're about Knives and Vash. Humans are just pawns and casualties.

I love how this 12-year-old girl is able to cow a bunch of whiny, scared men with just her presence. I love how angry she gets on Vash's behalf.

"If he and his followers sniff me out..." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no comment. Vash just got really freaking lucky with exactly who's sniffing him out.

The comedy of this panel is great. Granny's all like, "Oh, no.... You're gonna end up beaten up in a ditch somewhere...." Meanwhile, her granddaughter has already begun just wailing on Vash. Without even dropping the groceries.

Ugh, just... having someone take care of him for a bit. It's a small and much-needed kindness. But that's how it often is with small kindnesses.

Wolfwood: "That brat (affectionate)"

LOL, Vash gets head-pats. GOOD.

Wait, Evil Hamster Man is back??

What the heck is even happening in this panel? Is this a second guy? Is this a growth on Evil Hamster Man's back? I don't know. We already had a guy with a LITERAL GUN for legs, so either wouldn't exactly surprise me. Wolfwood's face sums up my feelings perfectly.

Ohhh, Vash isn't having any of this guy's shit.

WTF, he just KICKED the round out of the sky?!

Vash isn't really prone to showing off just to show off. I'm guessing he's doing this to make Lina and Granny feel a bit better about how competent he is.

Even Wolfwood, who's seen Vash's weird before, seems a bit shocked.

Also, LOL, Wolfwood frog face.

Literally still can't tell if the second gunman is an actual dude or just some weird Evil Hamster Man growth.

Oh, there we go. He seems to be a separate entity, after all.

LOL, Wolfwood, calling them like he sees them. (Thank you, @trigun-manga-overhaul, for keeping the swearing. It makes it that much more funny.)

And now Evil Hamster Man is given a choice: a chance at redemption, or having to deal with an angry Stampede. Let's hope he chooses wisely.

Well, Granny's feeling better about the situation. Lina seems more... resigned.

There's something so lovely about the hair-trimming scene. It's one last bit of domestic comfort with his little found family before he heads off to war.

I genuinely believe Wolfwood here. He has a good heart, even when he tries to hide it.

*sigh* And as Lina cuts away at his hair, we just drown in their shared memories. The vast majority of it is simple things. Family things. Quiet moments. But they meant the world to Lina. And they probably meant the world to Vash, too.

I have thoughts about Lina burying herself in the cloth from Vash's haircut.

This chapter ends beautifully and makes me want to cry.

[kirchefuchs]

In my defense @anon-unofficial, I first got into lmk back before season 3 came out, so I've been in it for a while. The thing about me is that I'm like a shark for fandoms. Gotta keep moving, or I die. Of course, I'm still into lmk (and a ton of other things). I just put those on the back burner while I sniff out new things to get into.

See, I find myself running out of ideas of things to draw a lot, I think this happens more when I don't have people actively fueling my hyperfixations by talking with me about them, and so my reflex is to just find a new fandom to get into. That way, I will have more things to draw.

So that's kinda why I get into lots of fandoms and try to drag people along with me. So that they can hopefully fuel me into drawing more. I gotta get that serotonin and dopamine somehow.

Tldr: Adhd is a b#@%$ /j. While I've gotten into a lot of things since I got you into lmk, you can bet 100% that I'll be back in as soon as season 5 comes out. (Also, if you wanted to talk to me about lmk things, I would gladly do so. I have so many thoughts about Tang and his ancestors/past lives)

[replicasoul]

vent? i guess

was in bed for i think 11 hrs earlier and maybe 3-5 hrs of that was sleep, which i think is the most ive gotten in a few days now. love that the protrusion pressing into my spinal cord means that laying down On A Pillow is like, what ends up being one of the most painful things for me like straight up feels like my arms + wrists + face + jaw are being like, hooked up to a car battery hhhhhhhhhow the fuck am i supposed to sleep cravings for alcohol or sleep meds to just conk myself the fuck out rly arent helping either, much less that i dont have much money to spend on things like that i rly shouldnt even be Typing this much bc repetitive motion makes my arms hurt worse but like, gotta get this shit out somehow or my brain will just Melt cant followup w/ that doctor re: the MRI til early december so just gotta Suck It Up (and then hes apparently going on an 'extended leave/vacation so if we dont get smth figured out then then who knows how long ill have to wait) anyway i hate to vent but i figure its better to put it on here under a cut where most ppl will probably scroll past rather than going to bother friends abt shit i cant do shit about for like the billionth time idk. just rambling at this point. could try to pass out again but if i take pain meds and it Doesnt work then i have to wait a while to take more or risk serotonin syndrome so wheeeeeeeeee but yea, gonna try and go get my shit together, or go pass out, one of the two. feel free to disregard this