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javiscigarette · 8 months

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Teacher's Pet

Joel Miller x virgin f!reader

Summary: 25 years old, anxiety-ridden, and still a virgin, you ask your friend Joel for advice on your upcoming date. But you're more of a...hands-on learner. And he's more than happy to help.

Warnings: PWP, unbalanced power dynamics, virgin!reader, neighbor/bff/more experienced! Joel, age gap, first kiss, virginity loss, fingering, oral (f receiving), frequent check-ins, soo much banter and Joel is a menace also so soft and sweet :')....(ends on a cliffhanger but there will be a part two I swear).

w/c: 7.7k idk what happened

a/n: I am resurfacing for your monthly reminder that I do in fact still write!! Inspiration for this came out of literally nowhere but I took it and RAN with it and I think I like it?? As always, thank you to my baby love @undrthelights for helping me with this and always listening to my rambling and for being my biggest enabler Ilysm

Part Two

my masterlist

"Fine! What if, hypothetically speaking of course, you were to, hypothetically, give me a, um, hypothetical, lesson or whatever." Your heart is pounding so hard you can feel your pulse throb in your neck pound in your ears. You slowly drag your hands away from your face and look at him. He stares right back at you, brows furrowed. "A what?" "Forget it. forget I said anything,” you mutter, shaking your head. "No no wait, hang on, what do you mean? A lesson? Like a…a sex lesson?”

"Seriously, Joel. Fuck off" you snap but with no bite or heat behind it. You bring the sweating bottle of beer to your lips and finish the rest of the now lukewarm liquid off in one gulp.

"What? I just find it hard to believe that you've never even had a kiss. Didn't you go to high school? Didn't you ever get invited to a party? Didn't you go to college? College kids do the do like all the time”

"Clearly not all the time" you mutter, a tad bitterly.

Joel raises his hands defensively and takes a sip of his own beer. "Just seems crazy is all. There's gotta be some chick or dude out there willing to take pity on you and pop your cherry."

You audibly gag at his choice of words. "I don't need a pity fuck, thanks." You stand from the couch and head over to the fridge. The bottles of cold alcohol inside are calling your name and you want something that will help soothe your nerves. You're not a big drinker, but when Joel is prying into your love life like he is now, you wish you were.

"Okay,” he starts from the living room. “Maybe I worded that wrong. What I meant to say was, there's gotta be someone out there who would be more than willing to show you a good time."

You groan and let your forehead fall against the fridge door. "That's the whole point! I came here to get advice for my date, someone who might actually be interested in me, and all you've done is make fun of me for not having fucked anyone yet. So thanks, Joel. You're a real pal."

You push away from the fridge and slam the door shut, a second beer in hand.

"Alright, alright, calm down." He says, hands in the air as if you were holding him at gunpoint as you head back to the couch. "Look, if this guy really likes you then he's not gonna care. Probably won't even be able to tell if you are or aren't."

"You think so?" You ask hopefully.

"Well, I mean, unless you're like... super bad."

Your heart drops into your stomach and you glare at him, "Joel."

"Oh come on, I'm kidding. You're not gonna be bad, okay? Just, go into it with an open mind and just relax. If he tries something you're not comfortable with or makes you feel weird, tell him. And if he gets pissy, dump his ass."

"That simple, huh?" You scoff.

"Well, yeah. You're the one who made it complicated by thinking it was a big deal."

"It is a big deal, Joel! I know nothing!

"Nothing? You ain’t ever watched porn? Jesus, I had no idea you were such a prude."

You can't stop yourself from rolling your eyes and slapping the back of your hand against his arm. He yelps and laughs, rubbing his arm.

"I've watched porn before" you retort.

"What kind?" he asks with a wiggle of his brows.

"None of your fucking business" you respond, feeling your face heat up.

Joel's lips quirk into a shit-eating grin and you're quick to smack him again.

"Okay okay, sorry!" he says through his laughter. "So what exactly are you afraid of?"

You're not really sure how to answer. It's a combination of so many things, most of which are irrational fears and insecurities. Sure you've seen it all done before, but you're well aware that none of it is realistic. At least, not completely. And just the fact that you're freshly 25 years old without a single notch in your bedpost makes you dizzy with anxiety. It's not like you're saving yourself or anything, it's just that hook up culture has never agreed with you and there's never been an opportunity that made you feel like it was the right one. That is until now, with your cute coworker who you thought was miles out of your league asking you out on a third date. And now, the prospect of being in bed with him is looming over you like a dark cloud and the last thing you want to do is mess it up.

"I guess, I'm just afraid that he's gonna be disappointed, or I'm gonna weird him out, or I'm gonna do something wrong and embarrass myself.” Joel nods along and listens. "And if it is bad then we still have to work with each other and then what if it's awkward and everyone knows about it and then he hates me and--"

"Okay, whoa slow down there, buddy" Joel says, putting a hand on your shoulder. "One, you're overthinking this. You're literally thinking like, five steps ahead of what's actually going on. It's a date. And even if it does end up in the bedroom, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. No one's forcing you, okay? He can't. No one can."

"I know, but I want to," you reply quietly.

"Alright. Then do."

"I don't know howwww!! " you whine, flopping backwards into the couch.

Joel groans and sits up a little straighter, scrubbing a hand down his face.

"Well, there's no magic trick, I don't have a secret sex manual I'm holding out on ya."

You sigh, shoulders sagging as you look over at him. The idea comes out of nowhere, well, not exactly from nowhere, but it pops in your head so fast that you then have to bite your tongue before the words bubbling up from your throat come tumbling out.

It's not a bad idea, not necessarily.

You've been good friends with Joel ever since you moved in next door last year. An unlikely pairing, a 40 year old contractor and an almost 25 year old office worker. But after offering him a six pack as part of introducing yourself to the neighbors, you'd gotten along fabulously. He fixes things around your house and you send him home with hot dinners and warm, gooey cookies and you watch movies together almost every Friday night.

It's an easy friendship, open and honest and supportive, and Joel has never given you reason not to trust him. He's a good guy, if not a little brash, but you know deep down he means well. And it doesn't hurt that he's objectively attractive, with his tall and sturdy frame, strong, calloused hands, dark messy curls....It's not a bad idea.

It's an absolutely insane idea.

You continue to stare at him, clenching your teeth together to hold back the question sitting on the tip of your tongue.

"What?" he says, looking back at you.

"Nothing" you mutter, eyes flicking away.

"You've got that face you make when you're about to say something really stupid, so just get it out."

You glare at him again, not enjoying the way he can read you so well.

"I wasn't gonna say anything."

"Well now you're lying."

"I'm not."

"You're doing it again!"

"Doing what?!"

"That face!"

"I'm not making a face!"

"Yes you are! Just spit it out!"

You groan and hide your face in your hands. You blame it on the one beer even though you know you’re not anywhere close to being drunk because how else would you justify what you’re about to say? You wait a moment, thinking about the weight of it but your mouth opens before you can stop yourself.

"Fine! What if, hypothetically speaking of course, you were to, hypothetically, give me a, um, hypothetical, lesson or whatever."

Your heart is pounding so hard you can feel your pulse throb in your neck and hear it in your ears. You slowly drag your hands away from your face and look at him. He stares right back at you, brows furrowed.

"A what?"

"Forget it. forget I said anything,” you mutter, shaking your head.

"No no wait, hang on, what do you mean? A lesson? Like a…a sex lesson?”

His eyes are wide, and he looks incredulous. You can't blame him, because the more time that passes between your suggestion and now, the more ridiculous the idea seems.

"I’m sorry, that was…It was stupid. Pretend I didn't say anything. Let's just watch a movie." You move to grab the remote, but Joel's hand covers yours, stopping you.

"Is that what you want?"

You look at him, searching his expression for any sign of disgust or apprehension. But all you can see is the same Joel you've known for months, patient, warm, and understanding.

"I know. I know it's stupid. But I can't get this date out of my head, Joel. It's all I can think about and the more I do, the more worried I get and I just don't want to fuck it up. And I know we're friends and this is weird and gross, but I just thought that... maybe, I could have some practice, so to speak."

He doesn't say anything. Just keeps looking at you, the panic rising in your chest the longer the silence stretches. You start to fidget, wringing your hands together in your lap.

"I'm sorry, that was way out of line" you say, moving to stand up, your skin sweaty and hot with embarrassment and your feet ready to run out the door and never come back.

But Joel catches your wrist, gently pulling you back down to sit next to him.

"Joel" you whine, not wanting him to humiliate you any further.

"It's okay, come here."

His voice is softer than before, and his eyes are kind. You let him pull you closer, the two of you sitting knee to knee. You can't bring yourself to look him in the eyes, not with your cheeks and the tips of your ears burning like they are, but Joel doesn't push. He simply moves his hand from your wrist, sliding it into yours. His palms are rough and warm, and the simple touch alone is comforting.

"You really wanna do this?” he asks softly. You can feel his eyes boring into you. “I mean, I'm not exactly a prize winning catch. And it's not like there's a shortage of willing men out there."

You shrug and chew the inside of your lip.

"Yeah, but you're my friend and I...I trust you."

There's another pause, and you wish that you could just disappear into the couch and erase this moment from your memory.

"How drunk are you?" he asks, glancing at the beer bottle on the coffee table.

"You saw me finish one bottle. And half of another. I’m barely tipsy."

"Not drunk?”

"Nope."

"You're gonna remember this tomorrow."

"Uh huh."

"And you still want to?"

You groan for the millionth time and squeeze his hand.

"Yes I want to! Look, if you don't want to then that's fine. It was just a dumb suggestion and we can just forget this ever happened."

He hums, considering your words. His hand slips out of yours, and you think that's it, you've scared him off and washed the friendship down the drain. That you'll have to hide from him from now on, that you'll have to pack your things up and move because the mortification would be too much, and that he'll hate you, and—

His two fingers sliding under chin surprise you, and he tilts your head up. He's looking down at you with that same even expression, eyes big, soft, and warm as he slides his hand over to cup your jaw in his palm.

"If you want to stop at any point, just say so, okay? I won't be upset and we can go back to the way things were before. Got it?"

You nod, your throat suddenly too tight to speak. His thumb sweeps over your cheekbone, the tender touch is enough to make your heart skip a beat. There’s no way this is actually happening. That your first kiss is going to be with your 40 year old menace of a neighbor. That you’re going to, how did you put it, get a sex lesson from him. His gaze flicks down to your lips and back up to your eyes and you’re positive you’re no longer able to breathe.

"Can I kiss you?" he asks softly. You nod.

You're sure he can hear the thumping of your heart in his own ears as he leans down. His other hand comes to rest on your hip and when his lips touch yours, a soft, tentative pressure, you're not prepared for the electricity that shoots through you.

He's barely done anything and already you feel like you're floating. Your own hands reach out to clutch his shirt, keeping him close, afraid he'll pull away and leave you cold and wanting if you don't. But he stays put, pressing himself against you, his lips working gently against yours. You follow his lead, kissing him back while trying not to overthink it.

It's nothing like the kisses in the movies or the books, where fireworks explode behind your eyelids or where your foot pops up in the air. It's far more subdued, more quiet and subtle. But the warmth that pools low in your belly and the goosebumps that erupt on your skin when his tongue slides against the seam of your lips, light and quick, makes you absolutely melt.

He pulls back before you can really react, and you're left with a dizzying rush of both blistering desire and excruciating anxiety. You want to pull him back in and never let him go. But your heart is beating so fast you can hardly breathe, your nerves are buzzing, and the urge to run and hide is nearly paralyzing.

"Was it bad?" you ask tentatively, cheeks heated.

"No" he replies, giving your hip a squeeze as a smirk plays on his lips. "It was fucking awful. Worst kiss of my life"

"Shut up!" you hiss, pushing him away with a hand on his chest. He laughs, the sound easing some of the tension in your body.

"I'm just teasing" he says, voice dropping lower. "C'mere, we can work on it."

His lips find yours again, and you try not to smile into the kiss but it's hard when you can feel the way his lips are quirked up as well. It doesn’t take much else to get you to relax and let yourself fall into the moment, into the gentle press of his mouth and the warm hands on your hip and your cheek. He swipes his tongue against your lips again, his fingers pressing lightly into the hinge of your jaw to tilt your head back and coax your lips apart.

You let him, sighing as his tongue glides across yours, hot and smooth and sweet. Your hands slide up his chest, finding purchase around his shoulders, and when you move forward, pushing yourself against him, he grunts softly but lets you. He kisses you until the both of you are gasping for air, and when he pulls back, his lips are wet and red and you're certain yours must be as well.

"Better?" you ask, a bit breathless.

"Getting there" he answers with, his breath warm where it fans across your cheek.

"You're such a liar" you say with a goofy smile.

"Yeah, I know. Now try again, practice makes perfect.”

You roll your eyes but lean back in nonetheless. It's a bit more heated this time, the feeling of his teeth nibbling on your bottom lip making you squirm. His hand rounds over your hip, palm smoothing to the small of your back to pull you closer, the heat of his body radiating through your clothes and warming your skin. Your hands move on their own accord, no thought behind the action as they slide up to his shoulders and then his neck, your fingers finding home in the curls at the base of his skull. When you give them a slight tug, you're rewarded with a muffled grunt from Joel. Emboldened, you pull back, lips swollen and tingling.

"You’re a good kisser,” you pant. "Is that something people usually say?"

"When it’s true" he says, grinning at you. "And since I know you're gonna ask, I'd say that was a C+, maybe a B-."

You scoff but blush furiously at the smile he flashes, his eyes crinkling in the corners.

"Well then, tell me what to do next. What do I need to know?"

Joel hums as he thinks for a moment.

"What do you want to do?"

You stare at him for a second, blinking.

"I don't know, that's why I'm asking you" you say, shaking your head a bit.

"Well, how far do you want to take this?"

You swallow hard, suddenly feeling very shy. You can’t deny that when the idea popped in your head it was accompanied by the mental image of you naked, spread out on his bed, but the actual act of asking him, or better yet, actually doing it is... intimidating to say the least. Are you really about to let him go all the way, to see you bare and vulnerable, let him pop your cherry as he would disgustingly put it? All just to “prepare” for a date with a guy who might not even like you that way?

Yeah, probably.

"All the way" you answer. “I want to go all the way”

He doesn’t pounce on you like you expected, doesn’t press his lips against yours in a frenzied kiss that you had half hoped for. Instead, he simply looks at you, his brown eyes boring into yours, searching.

"Are you sure? You can always say no and you're not gonna lose me as a friend if this isn’t what you actually want. I don’t want you thinking that."

You can't help the laugh that bubbles up and slips out, because of course Joel, your kind, thoughtful Joel, would say that. He's a good man. A great one, even.

"Yes, I'm sure. But if you don't want to, I get it, I can just leave and-"

Joel laughs, the sound traveling up from deep in his chest, the rumble vibrating against you.

"Sweetheart, I wouldn't be doin’ this if I didn't want to. Just makin’ sure this is what you really want."

"I want it.”

He squeezes your hip and swipes a thumb over your cheekbone once again.

“Alright then.” He nods, firm and resolute, and then looks around the room. “ We’re not doing it here, though. If you're getting the full Joel Miller experience, we're gonna do it right.”

Your eyes roll reflexively, but your heart picks up its pace regardless.

"I’m not gonna do anything if you call it that ever again."

"Fine, fine,” he relents. “Let me show you what a good, thorough fucking feels like. Better?"

Your jaw drops, and he's laughing at you, his body shaking with amusement.

"Fuck you" you grumble, shoving him away while trying to hide your coy smile.

"Yeah, that's what I'm hoping for," he says with a wide, self-assured grin.

"I'm leaving" you declare with a false sense of offense as you rise to your feet. Joel is quick to do the same and before you can take a single step away, he slips a finger through the belt loop of your jeans and tugs you back into him, wrapping an arm around your waist.

"I’ll stop, I’ll stop. I'm sorry" he says, not sounding it one bit.

You huff, but let him pull you closer until you’re pressed against his chest and you have to tilt your head back to look at him.

"I’ll be good. I promise."

"Liar"

"Well, yeah. But I can promise that I'll make you feel good."

You can't help the giggle that spills out and he kisses it away, his lips warm and plush and sweet against yours. The hand not resting on your lower back comes up, curling around the nape of your neck and keeping you close. You sink into him, and the fog creeps in again, dulling the rest of the world, making it seem fuzzy and distant, like the memory of a dream. All you can focus on is him, the warm solid weight of him against you, the strong arms holding you, the way his mouth moves against yours. And then he’s pulling back all too soon and you have to stifle a whine.

"Come on" he says, tugging at your hand.

His bedroom is dim, the little lamp on his nightstand and the faint glow of the moon through the curtains providing the only light. You swallow and take a deep breath as you step inside, your bare toes digging into the plush carpet, his hand warm and large where it grips yours.

He holds onto you as he sits on the edge of the bed. You step forward, letting him pull you between his knees. His hands settle on your hips, and you can feel their heat through the fabric of your shirt.

He doesn’t ask if you're sure again and you’re grateful because you’re not sure if you could form any kind of response right now. Instead, he slides his hands up and under your shirt, fingers dancing across your skin and leaving a trail of goosebumps. Your breath hitches as his hands smooth over your ribs and around to your back, the tips of his fingers mapping out the curve of your spine, skimming over each notch and bump. They climb higher, the fabric of your shirt bunching around his wrists.

“Can I take this off, baby?”

Your heart jumps to your throat but you nod anyway. He grabs the hem and tugs your shirt up and and you lift your arms so he can slip it off over your head. He tosses it aside, the fabric falling to the floor beside the bed. You’re left exposed, vulnerable and bare, save for the worn out bra you wear, a few too many washes and a few years past its prime.

Your hands itch where they hang by your side with the instinct to cover yourself, hide the imperfections that you know so well, the stretch marks, the softness of your stomach, the way the cups of your bra are just a bit too small and spill over the tops.

But then he’s pressing his lips to the space just above your navel, his scruff tickling your skin and making the muscles in your abdomen jump and twitch. His hands find your waist again, and when his lips continue their path upwards, his palms follow, skimming up your sides, thumbs tracing the outline of your ribs before stopping at the band of your bra.

"This too?" he asks, voice quiet and husky.

"Yeah" you answer with a squeak, and he grins like a kid in a candy store.

His fingers undo the clasp deftness that makes your knees go weak, the straps slipping from your shoulders and the whole thing sliding down your arms, landing somewhere near your shirt.

"God, baby, look at you" he murmurs, his hands cupping the underside of your breasts, his thumbs sweeping over the tops and then down the slope and around your nipple. Your breath hitches, the gentle touch sending a shiver up your spine. "You're fucking perfect."

The praise is unexpected and it sends a jolt of heat through your core. You whimper quietly and his hands are on you again, the calloused palms rough on the soft skin of your breasts. He kneads the flesh, squeezing gently before rolling your nipples between his fingers, pulling and pinching and teasing.

He pulls you closer and ducks his head, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. He looks up at you through his lashes, eyes dark and hooded, and his pupils blown wide with desire.

"Can I?" he asks.

"Please."

He leans in and wraps his lips around a peaked nipple, his tongue swirling around the sensitive nub, the gentle heat of his mouth on your skin making your knees weak.

His mouth works on one breast, tongue flicking and teasing while his free hand continues its work on the other. Pleasure builds and coils deep inside, the sensation unfamiliar but certainly not unwelcome. You whimper and he pulls away, releasing your nipple with a wet pop before giving it a sweet parting kiss.

He turns his attention to the other, his teeth grazing over the stiff peak and drawing a whine from your lips. He sighs when your fingers tighten in his hair, pulling at the strands until he groans softly against you. He sucks your other nipple into his mouth, the flat of his tongue pressing against it and dragging up and around, swirling and flicking. You’re already breathless, panting, a thin sheen of sweat glistening on your forehead.

"Feels good, Joel," you whisper shyly.

"I know, honey" he says, a soft smile pulling at his lips when he pulls away. "Feel good anywhere else?"

He doesn't wait for a response, simply slips a hand between your thighs, cupping you through the denim, the simple action making you squeak.

"Here, huh?" he says, the heel of his palm pressing against you.

You gasp softly and nod, biting your lip, too shy to say anything.

"Get on the bed, baby."

You comply, crawling onto the mattress and scooting backwards towards the pillows, sitting at the head of the bed as you watch him. His eyes never leave you as he pulls his shirt over his head, tossing it onto the floor. Your heart thumps as you stare at his bare chest, his tanned skin dotted with a light dusting of salt and pepper hair. He's broad, his shoulders thick and chest solid. Your fingers burn with the urge to reach out and touch him, so you do, extending a tentative, slightly shaky hand.

He watches you closely, eyes flitting down to the palm pressed against his chest before meeting yours again, his mouth curling into a smile.

"You can touch" he says, reaching down to curl a hand around your wrist and bringing it up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the center of your palm before guiding your hand back down to his chest. "I think most people would enjoy that."

"You're having entirely too much fun with this,” you mumble while your fingers spread out across his pec.

"It is fun" he counters, his own hand sliding up the inside of your thigh, thumb pressing against the seam of your jeans and rubbing up and down. "But it'll be more fun once these come off"

Your lips part, a puff of air rushing out.

"You gonna take them off?" you ask, the words slipping out, bold and unbidden.

He grins, his brow quirking up.

"Look at you, being all bossy"

"You like it" you say, finally feeling some of the anxiety slipping away, the familiar and comfortable banter between the two of you slipping into place in a new, unfamiliar situation.

His smile takes up nearly his whole face as moves closer.

“I sure do.”

He looms over you, bracing himself on an elbow next to your head before ducking down to kiss you, his tongue easily slipping into your mouth, warm and insistent. You sigh into it, your hands finding the warm, bare skin of his back, muscles gliding beneath your palms as you slide them up and around, fingertips digging into his shoulders. He's so warm and solid and you can't help the little noise that slips out, a soft, needy moan. You're about to break the kiss and beg him to touch you, give you something, anything, but he pulls back before you can.

"Impatient. I like that too" he says, voice barely above a whisper.

He kisses the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, then down your neck, his beard scraping against your skin. He continues his path, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses across your collarbones and down the valley between your breasts, his beard tickling your sternum.

His palm presses into the top of your thigh, and you instinctively open your legs for him, his hand immediately moving to cup you through the denim, thick fingers pressing against the seam and the bundle of nerves just below. Your hips rock up, seeking more pressure and he grins, entirely too pleased with himself right now.

You huff, and he laughs, the sound rumbling in his chest, but he relents, undoing the button and zipper of your jeans and tugging the fabric down, revealing the pair of pink panties underneath.

Joel sits up, pulling your jeans down your legs and letting them drop off the side of the bed, the sound of the denim hitting the floor indicating that you've officially crossed a line that neither of you can come back from. But if the hungry, desperate look on his face and the way you're practically vibrating underneath him are any indication, neither of you want to.

"I'll start with just my fingers, yeah?" he says, his hands running up the insides of your thighs, touch light and teasing, the tips of his fingers brushing the edge of your panties. You nod dumbly, at a complete loss for words right now.

He ducks his head, his lips landing on the smooth skin stretched over your hip bone. You squirm, ticklish, and he grins. His mouth is a great distraction from his hand, which has found its way back in between your legs, his fingers now pressing against damp fabric.

"Shit" he curses, his touch firm. "Fuckin' soaked already. Am I just that good?" he quips with a smirk.

"Jesus do you ever shut up" you gripe, but the effect is ruined by the whimper that escapes you when his thumb sweeps up, pressing hard against your clit.

"Oh, that's a pretty sound" he murmurs, repeating the motion to pull out another one, your hips bucking against his hand.

"Now," he starts, his tone shifting to the same one he uses when he's about to impart some life lesson. "This guy you're gonna see, or any man for that matter, should always take care of you before himself. That's just common fuckin' sense. And if he doesn't, you send him on his way" he continues. "Because a man that don't wanna see a woman get off is no fuckin' man at all"

You're about to interrupt, tell him he's an idiot and ask him to please, please, get on with it, but his fingers sliding under the elastic of your panties, swiftly pulling them down your legs steals the breath from your lungs. Your pulse sky rockets and you shift underneath him, crossing your thighs in instinctual effort to hide yourself from him.

"M'sorry I didn't shave or anything" you blurt out, your throat tight with anxiety and embarrassment once again

Joel just shakes his head as he pries your legs apart.

"Baby, I could not give less of a shit about that."

"But-"

"No" he says, the word firm, an edge of command to his tone. "You’re not apologizin’ for that. And if a man gives a shit, he's a fuckin' child who doesn't deserve the honor of bein' between these thighs" he says, pushing your knees further apart.

You nod and bite your lip, the words that are just so very Joel, settling in your chest and easing the tension in your body. You let out a long, slow breath and relax, trying to ease the nervousness.

"There ya go" he says, his fingers dancing along your slit, gathering the slick pooling there. You shudder at the gentle touch, your hips rolling up just a bit before you force them back down into the mattress, trying to keep yourself still.

"Nuh-uh. None of that" he says, immediately noticing the movement. He slides his free hand under you, his palm pushing into the small of your back and encouraging you to move again, to lean into your pleasure. "You take what you want, baby. Show me how good it feels. That's all I wanna see."

You squirm and whimper, the simple, almost lazy touch driving you insane. You've touched yourself before, brought yourself over the edge while imagining what it would be like to have the things you read about and watch in videos happen to you. But you've never managed to make yourself feel this good, never felt pleasure so intense, never felt a burning pressure in your abdomen so demanding that it radiates all the way to the tips of your fingers and toes.

And he's barely touched you.

"How's that feel?"

You can't even form the words, so you just nod and hum, the sound a mix of a whimper and a moan, your hips rolling up against his palm. He chuckles, and then the pressure increases, the friction building, his fingers slipping down, collecting more of your wetness to ease the drag against your skin.

He moves his fingers down, down, down, the tip of one circling your entrance, gathering the wetness pooling there. You whine loudly, any shame and modesty you once had replaced entirely with desperate need and pure desire.

"Please, Joel" you whisper, voice shaky.

"I gotcha" he says, dipping his fingertip in, just barely, and pulling a moan from deep in your chest. "Gonna give you what you need"

You groan, a long, low sound as he slowly sinks his finger into you. It's nothing like your own, so perfectly thick and long/ And you found the spot before, the spot that he curls his finger up into, but never at this angle, never with the perfect amount of pressure that he's applying right now.

"Mmm, look at that" he coos as you clench tightly around his finger.

"Joel, god, feels so good" you whimper pathetically.

"I know, honey, I know."

You clench again, the cockiness and self-assured attitude that usually gets under your skin now ignites your whole body in an entirely different way. He keeps his eyes on your face, watching as your eyes squeeze shut and your mouth drops open, your head tipping back as the pleasure builds.

"Another" you beg, the fullness not nearly enough.

"Greedy girl" he chides, but he pulls his finger out, and slides two back in. You swear that you could come from this alone, but he doesn't let you, the hand that was supporting your lower back disappearing, only to reappear between your thighs, his thumb circling your clit with firm, steady strokes.

White hot pleasure wraps around the base of your spine, the dual sensations of his fingers and his thumb sending you spiraling. The sounds falling from your lips are unrecognizable, high and desperate as your mind goes blissfully blank, your entire focus on the heat coiling in your abdomen. Your eyebrows pinch together and you bury your face in the pillow next to your head, trying to hide the ridiculous expression you're surely making, but you inhale the traces of his shampoo and cologne that cling to the fabric, the scent pushing you even closer to the edge.

You try to hold back. Surely you're not supposed to come this quickly, not just from two fingers and a thumb. Surely that's a sign that you're an easy lay, or too inexperienced, or-

"Just let it happen, baby. I can feel it, Just let go" Joel says, his voice cutting through the thoughts racing through your mind, his fingers crooking inside you and dragging across the spot that makes your hips stutter and a cry fall from your lips.

You can't hold back any longer, the pleasure cresting and crashing down around you. You squeeze his fingers, your back arching, the heels of your feet digging into the mattress as you roll your hips up into his touch, seeking more and more and more. And he gives and gives and gives, working you through it and drawing it out for as long as he can before you melt into the mattress, bones and muscles liquid and warm and satisfied.

He pulls his fingers out, and the sudden emptiness draws a disappointed whine from you, his answering chuckle making you smile.

"That was- fuck" you sigh, not quite capable of coherent thought.

"Absolutely mind-blowing? Yeah I know" he teases. You roll your eyes but don't say anything because it's true, and his cocky grin fades into a soft smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he watches you return to Earth.

"Can I- can I return the favor?" you ask, your gaze flicking down to the noticeable bulge in his jeans.

He grunts and shakes his head.

"Not yet. Got somethin' else in mind."

You frown and push yourself up onto your elbows, watching as he shifts from his position. You're about to ask what he's going to do until he's settling himself on his stomach between your thighs. You suck in a sharp breath as you realize exactly what he's got planned and your heart jumps, anxiety clouding your mind once again.

He rests his cheek on your thigh, his eyes meeting yours.

"Alright?"

You swallow and nod, licking your lips.

"Yeah. Just... no one's ever-"

"Yeah, I got that much, that's why we're here" he says, smiling smugly when you glare at him.

"But what if it's not good? Or I don't taste good? Or-"

"Stop" he says, the single word halting your runaway train of thought. "You need lessons in relaxing, not sex. You're so fucking tense all the time"

"Sorry" you say, immediately cringing.

He sighs, his breath ghosting over the skin of your inner thigh, making you shiver. "What did I say about apologizin'?" he says, his tone slightly sharp.

"I know. Sorry- shit, sorry! Fuck!"

He barks out a laugh and you huff, bringing up both hands to scrub over your face.

"See what I mean?"

"Yes, yes, you're very smart and know everything"

He hums and nips at your thigh.

"Damn right I do."

You want to snark back, but his mouth is moving, his lips trailing down the inside of your thigh and towards where you're aching for him, slick and wet and throbbing. He takes his time, laying kisses on your thighs, hips, and stomach, his scruff scraping the sensitive skin, huffing out a laugh when you start to squirm, your patience wearing thin.

His hands smooth over the soft flesh of your inner thighs, urging you to spread them wider before spreading you open with his thumbs, exposing you completely. You feel exposed, vulnerable, and the urge to close your legs and hide yourself from his gaze is overwhelming, the embarrassment making your skin burn. But before you can even think about closing them, his tongue is on you, sliding up the length of you and circling your clit. The moan that escapes you is embarrassingly loud and high pitched, but the mortification is easily swallowed up by the pleasure.

He hums against you, the sound and the feeling sending a shudder through your body. Your hands grip the pillow behind your head and you try not to buck up into his mouth, but your attempts are futile. He doesn't seem to mind though, in fact you think it spurs him on, his tongue flattening against you and lapping at you messily, the wetness he's coaxed from you smearing across his mouth and chin.

The sound is lewd and obscene, the sloppy, slick noises and the soft grunts and groans that rumble in his chest as he works you up. He pulls back, his breath coming out in pants, his chest heaving as he looks up at you, his eyes dark and hooded.

"Don't know what you were worried about" he says, his voice low and raspy. "You taste fuckin' divine"

His beard is shiny and damp, his lips glistening, hair messy from where your fingers were tangled in it. The sight of him looking so completely disheveled and filthy has you clenching around nothing, the ache almost too much to bear.

He doesn't say anything else, just ducks his head and gets back to work, his mouth moving with a renewed urgency, his hands gripping your thighs and pushing them further apart, allowing him better access.

Your eyes roll back and your mouth falls open, a constant stream of moans and whines and babbling pleas and praises falling from your lips, but you're not really sure what you're saying, not really sure of anything except the intoxicating pleasure coursing through your veins.

You hear him moan, can feel the vibration against your skin, and you glance down at him, and that's a mistake. The sight of him, his eyes closed and brows drawn together in concentration, his cheeks hollowed out as he sucks and nips and laps at you and– is he fucking grinding his hips into the mattress?

You're fucked.

A throaty moan tumbles past your lips as your hips start to rock, a rhythm forming as you chase your orgasm. His hands leave your thighs and he slides one arm up, the weight of it resting against your abdomen to keep you still while his other hand snakes down, fingers dipping inside again, finding the spot that makes you see stars.

"Fuck, Joel, please, oh my god, I'm so- please"

He groans in response, the hand on your stomach pressing down harder to meet the two fingers curling and stroking inside of you. You cry out at the increased pressure right as he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking and swirling his tongue around the bud, his fingers moving faster and faster. Flames lick up your spine and spread throughout your body, threatening to burn you alive.

Your orgasm hits you like a freight train, knocking the wind out of you and turning your limbs to jello. Wave after wave of blinding euphoria crashes over you and all you can do is cling to the pillow and arch your back, your toes curling as he continues to work his fingers and tongue, happily letting you ride his face and grind into his mouth.

He doesn't let up, not until you're a whimpering, trembling mess, physically pushing his head away when it becomes too much. He pulls back reluctantly, a wicked grin plastered to his face, his chin and mouth absolutely soaked. You're panting, struggling to catch your breath as the aftershocks make you shiver despite the content warmth spreading throughout your entire body.You feel sated and sleepy, a bone deep satisfaction making you feel boneless.

But as you come down from your high, rational thoughts start to filter in and you suddenly remember the reason this all started in the first place.

You're here to learn, he should be teaching you how to please a man.

How to please him.

You watch as he gets off the bed and wipes his chin with the back of his hand. Your eyes shamelessly rake over him, the dusty pink flush that decorates his neck and chest, the curve of his belly down to the impressive bulge in his jeans.

You push yourself up, ignoring the way your arms tremble with the effort. He looks at you, his eyes scanning your face no doubt looking for signs of distress.

"You ok?" he asks, eyebrows pinched together in his typical concerned Joel fashion.

"Yeah" you say, a little breathlessly. "But I still want to..."

Your voice trails off and you glance down at his crotch, hoping he gets the message.

"That's alright, baby. It's a lot, we don't-"

"No" you interrupt, a hint of desperation in your voice. "You said you would teach me. Please, Joel. I-I wanna learn" You hope it's a good enough cover to the fact that you really just want him, your original goal forgotten. "I just don't want to embarrass myself" you add, pouting slightly for good measure, praying to god that he can’t detect the underlying want for him and him only.

He watches you for a moment, seemingly contemplating his decision. And then his eyes narrow, because of course he knows. There's never been an instance where you succeeded in lying to this man. He always, always knows when something is off.

"Alright" he says, a slow smile spreading across his face, something mischievous sparkling in his eyes. "Dick sucking class is now in session"

You groan, your face twisting with visible disgust.

"Oh my god, that was terrible."

"What? It's true" he says with a shrug.

"That is- no, no way. Never say those words ever again. Ever." you say, pointing a finger at him accusingly.

"Or what?" he challenges, taking a step towards the bed.

You gulp and lick your lips.

"Or..."

He waits expectantly for a response. You have none, so you just shake your head and look away.

"Yeah, that's what I thought"

You glare at him and then sigh.

"You're a bully"

"Am I?” He asks, taking a step back to give you more room. “ 'Cause you're the one that asked me to teach ya. On your knees, kid. Let's see whatcha got."

You chew on the inside of your cheek, trying to suppress a grin. You don't know how he does it, but his ability to make a joke or a quip out of anything always has a smile tugging at the corner of your lips, even when the jokes are awful and the puns are terrible. Even when the joke is about you getting ready to suck his dick.

"You're a bully and a pervert" you say, sliding off the bed and sliding to your knees, the plush carpet doing a decent job at protecting your joints.

"And proud of it.”

"Pride is a sin."

"So is premarital sex, so I'll see you in hell, honey"

You snort and look up at him from your place on the floor, grinning widely.

"You're ridiculous"

"You love it"

And that's the thing, isn't it?

Because you do. You love his innate ability to make you laugh, to make you smile even when he's about to take your fucking virginity. He knows how to comfort you, how to put you at ease, when to push you with his teasing and when to pull back and let you take control. You've never met a person who has so effortlessly made their way into your heart.

And here you are, on your knees for him under the false pretense of practicing for a man who's name you can't even remember right now.

You shake your head, the motion clearing the thoughts and the emotions that were swirling in your head, the ones that make you want to stand up and kiss him, kiss him until your lips are numb and you're left gasping for air.

"Joel?" you say his name softly.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Teach me."

Part 2 is already in the works I promise hehehe thank you for reading I hope u all enjoy!!

#joel miller smut #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller one shot #joel miller fic #the last of us #tlou fic #joel miller #pedro pascal characters

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plutolovesyou · 3 months

Text

before you read ▪︎ loose continuation to THIS

ultra loser!ellie x teasing(slightly sadistic tbh)!reader. reads fine as a standalone!! no fr sex, but still nsfw!!! loads of teasing, ellie's shy and flustered (also gave her glasses and piercings muahahah AND HAPPY TRAIL MENTION YAYYY), reader's a little insistent (but it's ok), mentions of masturbation, discussion of sex, REALLY horny making out at the end lol, heavy petting, they almost do it, tiny abby cameo, buildup AS PER USUAL YALL KNOW THE DRILL, kinda cliffhanger ending (its on purpose HAHA), different layout bc i cheated n looked at the poll oops...NGL TS HAD ME SWEATINGGG WRITING IT LMFAO don't think i have ever written something more horny....ok enjoy! (scenario idea graciously donated by the wonderful @fleshunger I LOVE YOUR BRAIN SO MUCH POOKS) + 2.2k wc

apparently both of you missed the professor's class cancellation email on this fateful day… other students showed up too, but they left quickly after seeing it was empty. ellie stayed to catch up on some work, enjoying the silence and typing away on her laptop, which looked like one of those beefy gaming computers.

covered in stickers and the keys changing color, you thought it was interesting she'd lug that thing around campus with her, instead of opting for something light and sleek. and now that leaves you. you had no other plans for the day, and had already mentally prepared yourself for this class, totally unaware it was canceled.

you realized it wasn't a bad idea to copy ellie, and catch up on some of your own work. however you were more intrigued by her, to be totally honest with yourself.

watching her from a distance, she captivated you. she never seemed to notice your stares, too absorbed in her thoughts. you watched her type, efficiently and quickly, pausing only to push her glasses further up her nose with her slim fingers.

the truth is, she's hot. but no one was hearing you out on that, unfortunately. they'd say to you, “what a loser! i don't think i've ever heard her talk.”

you felt overwhelmed by the urge to strike up a real conversation with her—more that simple greetings or coursework questions— and it was the perfect opportunity to do just that. so you got up, sat yourself down in the empty spot right next to her, and put on the most charming grin you could muster up. she abruptly snapped out of her focus, almost flinching at your presence.

“hey! you're ellie, right? whatcha working on?” you got close to her to see, being met with a bunch of hieroglyphic-looking strings of symbols on the screen. woah, smarty-pants. “um, it's just…some project, i dunno. how d’you know my name?”

she finally looked at you, her eyes round, wider than the ufo saucer stickers on the back of her computer. they were so green, the hazel ring reminded you of a polished agate stone. the scattered freckles on her face were so pretty too, you'd never been close enough to her to really take notice. she nervously scanned your features, blotches of pink blush decorating the apples of her plump cheeks.

she was so cute, and noticing her evident shyness flipped a switch inside you, what if you messed with her a little?

you shrugged at her, “just seen you around. you're so mysterious.” you lilt, manipulating your tone to make it smoother on the ears, even containing hints of seduction if you dared.

she blushed a deeper raspberry shade and looked down at her hands, fidgeting with her rings. she was somehow getting more attractive by the second, your heart felt like it was about to burst.

“am i? never thought of it that way, you're funny.” she mumbles, her antsiness obvious. but you didn't wish to let up so soon, you were having a lot more fun flustering her than you'd ever care to admit, even wanting to see just how far you could push her.

“ooh, i love your rings. where did you get em?” “just…places. why are you asking me so many questions?” you sighed and rolled your eyes, “well, ellie. we both don't have anything else to do, gotta pass the time somehow. i wanna talk with you, is that okay?” she took a deep breath and nodded, visibly relaxing. she stretched out her arm to get rid of the tabs on her computer, close it, and put it in her bag, which is when you got a look at her forearm tattoo.

“also i'm obsessed with your tattoo, you have no idea how cool you are, how are girls not all over you?” you question, taking her wrist in your hands and examining the tattoo's intricate line work, tracing your fingertips over the pigment in her skin.

you heard her breathing change in tempo, quickening ever so slightly. but she didn't move her arm away, and let you continue. she took a second to respond. “um. thanks, i guess. i don't really know what you mean.” her voice cracked when she said the last part, igniting a flame inside you, one that you didn't know existed.

your mind wandered, you began wondering what she sounds like when she whimpers. was she really so starved of human contact you could mold her like putty, just with your fingers and tongue? you wanted to find out so badly, wanted to hear how she'd cry your name out if you fucked her into oblivion. was she a squirter or a creamer? you hoped to the heavens above you'd get to find out someday. maybe it was too much to fantasize like this, considering you formally met just now, but you weren't hurting anyone if it all never left the confines of your mind.

you were lucky you hid your own arousal well, nothing out of the ordinary showed on your face whatsoever. ellie wasn't so lucky—to her dismay, but to your delight—everything played out on her delicate features so clearly, it was nothing short of delectable.

your eyes bore into hers, the intensity of the eye contact making her shiver, and attempt to break it. “ellie, ellie, ellie, may i call you els?” you didn't wait for an answer, and continued, “do you have a girlfriend?” you pouted your lips at her, feigning sadness as if her response was something you didn't already infer.

she was stuttering now, stumbling over her words, making less and less sense as the conversation went on. she was anxiously bouncing her leg, you could see her chest rising and falling, and her face had turned a lovely crimson color, it was so strong, the flush had spread down her neck and reached her ears, making her piercings stand out. good lord.

“ahem- no, i don't have a girlfriend. actually never have, shocking i know.” she chuckles at her self-deprecating joke, and while her smile was enough to light up a room, you wanted to slap the doubt out of her. or rather, fuck it out of her.

you exhaled loudly, “hahh, well isn't that a shame. you're so pretty, i'll just have to snatch you up for myself then.” she swallowed audibly, greatly taken aback. “sorry, what?” “oh, don't you know how much people love losers like you? tsk tsk tsk, you're so much hotter than you realize, i mean it, els. look at you! you've got these piercings, this tattoo, you're smarter than this whole class combined, seriously.”

she just gaped at you, unable to process what she was hearing. no one had ever talked to her like this, it was only something she read about. and coming from you? this ethereal person who starred in all of her most intimate fantasies? she rubbed her eyes roughly, convinced she was hallucinating. her mouth opened and closed dumbly, her voice box failing to produce any sound. but you were affecting her so much, especially because she lusted after you to an extent she could only take to the grave.

flashes of her midnight escapades flickered in her mind, of her shoving her hand down her pants like an animal in heat, orgasming so intensely she'd black out, abusing her hole with nothing but images of you playing in her mind, and your name on her tongue. her cheeks burned with the embarrassment of her wild actions, and she shook her head to clear the thoughts away.

you groaned and leaned back in your own seat, exclaiming, “god i'm so bored. and pent up, fuck. it's been so long since i had sex…” that was true. in any other situation you'd never say something like that aloud, but because you were alone with the clueless idiot you wanted so carnally, you let it slip.

“...maybe you should take care of that.” you heard her cough out, her voice coming out strangled. “i could. but that's boring.” you opened your eyes again and smirked devilishly her way, poor girl looked like she was about to go on a trip with the ferryman.

you grabbed her hand, examining it some more, commenting, “you play guitar, don't you? guitarists are very good with their hands, i will say.” you played with her hand, pressing it into a fist, then extending her middle and ring finger. gosh, what's gotten into you? “i bet you're sooo good.”

you've never seen a person look more flustered than she did right now in this moment. her voice was impossibly quiet, barely above a whisper, “cut it out.” “okay, fine.”

some beats of silence passed, but a thought crossed your mind. if she really hated this interaction that much, she could have got up and left eons ago, yet she stayed here and endured it all. hmm. you blurted out, “els, have you kissed anyone before?”

and again she stayed silent, even after you waited patiently for an answer. she kept looking away, her jaw tense.

you decided to quit the teasing just for a moment, and speak to her gently, genuinely. you shifted to sit a little closer to her and asked, “do you want to?” her gaze locked onto your mouth, she licked her lips, then muttered, “if you're really offering and not just fucking with me, sure-”

your patience broke and you didn't wait for her to finish her sentence before swiftly leaning forward and connecting your lips with hers, relishing the tiny gasp she made as soon as you did it. she tasted like a dream.

after a split second she kissed you back, it was inexperienced and clumsy, fueled by adrenaline, but she got into a rhythm soon enough. you took the lead and deepened the kiss, absent-mindedly tugging on her bottom lip with your teeth, coaxing eager whimpers out of her, pure music to your ears.

you succumbed to the sensations and increased the pace, your tongue dancing against hers. you felt her hands fumble by your waist, and she pulled you closer to her. your hands clawed at her chest, the beautiful symphony of panting, the wet smacking of your lips colliding, and her uncontrolled moans filled the empty room.

she gripped your waist so tightly, fingertips surely leaving small marks in their wake, you couldn't wait to find them later, and you shamelessly felt up her chest, your thumbs finding her nipples—perky, hard, and poking out through her thin shirt. you caressed and rubbed and squeezed, feeling her jolt under your magical touch.

she was fully whining now. spilling needy, high-pitched sounds, this was better than you could've ever imagined. neither one of you breaking the kiss for even a second, your hand trailed lower and landed on her stomach, slipping under the bottom of her shirt. you felt her defined abs tensing, and the whisper of a happy trail—now it was your turn to moan.

she got even louder and her kisses got sloppier, and you were about to venture inside her waistband before a sudden sound startled you both.

your phone vibrated aggressively, and with great effort you separated yourself from ellie, long strings of spit connecting you to her still.

she whimpered from the loss of contact, chasing your lips, then huffing and quietly groaning while you took out your phone, her hands not letting go of your waist. when you checked it, it was a message from your friend, abby, just saying: URGENT. COME HERE NOW. ASAP.

fuck her. fuck her and her timing, was all you could think. really, now? you wanted to kill her.

trying to slow your breathing and racing heart, you explained apologetically, “ugh, it's urgent. im so, so sorry ellie, i gotta go.” she stared at you, speechless, but nodded meekly, reluctantly retracting her arms. you didn't want to leave, and stayed gazing at her for a little longer, and brushed a loose strand of soft hair out of her face. what a cutie, she looked all disheveled and dazed. you were about to look for a paper to scribble down your number to keep in touch, until your phone buzzed again, and started ringing with abby's repeated attempts to get ahold of you. couldn't she wait a minute?

you gave ellie one last devastated look, getting up and rushing out of the classroom before abby called you another seventeen times.

ellie was left in the classroom, reeling from the encounter and what it had turned into. she was utterly bewildered at the events that transpired, her blood rushing in her ears, mind spinning, lips still puffy, glasses fogged over, hands trembling, and of course a sticky, uncomfortable damp spot in her boxers. she leaned forward to rest her head on the desk in front of her on top of crossed arms, to take a moment to cool down before escaping back to her place.

“holy shit.”

im horny🧍‍♂️just like ellie after that. as soon as she got home, u best believe she came so hard she saw literal angels and deities LMFAOO (this is my favorite thing ive ever written gawdDAYUM)

yall who wanted more, hope this suffices as a continuation! @stonerzdaze420692 @womenlvrrr

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bueckers · 1 month

Text

UNFINISHED BUSINESS ━━━ paige bueckers ( 2 )

synopsis: putting an end to everything, drea thinks she’s totally and completely done with paige bueckers. that is until the blonde is finally honest with her.

pairing: paige bueckers x fem oc

warnings: angst and smut. they’re so toxic but also like made for each other.. alcohol use, scissoring, fingering, lots of paige’s hands.

notes: another long one so there wasn’t any major cliffhangers, hopefully this makes up for the wait.. :) also a paige & flau’jae feature because i love them sm.

The morning sunlight filters through the hotel curtains, and she’s sitting at the edge of the bed. I can feel the space next to me where she was lying, still warm but empty now. She’s moving around, getting dressed, and I’m fighting the urge to reach out and pull her back into bed. But I know I shouldn’t.

“You don’t have to go yet,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. It’s more of a plea than an offer, and I hate how desperate I sound. I can see her hesitate, her back to me as she fiddles with her shirt. For a second, I think she might stay, but then she turns to face me, and I can see the determination in her eyes. Why was it so difficult for me to just say it?

“Except I do. We never actually talked… if you missed that part,” she says, and I try to ignore the slight raise in her voice.

In attempt to busy myself, I grab my shirt from off the ground and pull it over my head. “The whole point of last night was to avoid that, Drea. We ain’ gotta talk about it.” I respond, and I’m only half joking, but I still wince at how much of a dick I sound.

She’s serious, and instead of agreeing or starting an argument, she ignores it. “Look,” she starts, and I can see her struggling to find the right words, her eyes glued to the bedsheets. Not me. I want to tell her she doesn’t have to say anything, that I get it, she deserved an explanation. But I don’t want to make it easy for her. Not when I know this is probably the last time we’re going to be like this.

“Last night.. it shouldn’t have happened.”

I furrow my eyebrows. "You don’t gotta say that. It’s not like we didn’t both want it,” I huff out.

She looks at me a certain way, and I can tell she hasn’t put much thought into what she’s saying. But she’s saying it anyway. "That’s not what I mean," she says quickly, like she’s trying to fix it. "I’m not saying I didn’t want it. I just… I shouldn’t have let things get so deep between us. How things ended.. it’s my fault.”

Her fault? She shouldn’t have let things get so deep? Theres no way she means these things, right? She stands there, biting her lip, and I know she’s waiting for me to say something. My throat feels tight, and my mind is a mess. I’m caught between wanting to shout at her, to tell her how wrong she is, and just shutting down completely.

This is Drea. The one person who’s always known how to get under my skin, in ways both good and bad. And now, while she’s standing right in front of me, telling me she regrets how deep we got, that basically, she thinks I cut her off because she caught feelings, I can’t help but feel like a fool. I spent so much time convincing myself that she didn’t feel the way I did, that I’d imagined the whole thing. Now it turns out she was in it too. And I don’t know what to do with that.

I wanna tell her to stop, to not say anything more. But I can’t let myself be that vulnerable, not when I’ve spent so long trying to protect whatever pieces of myself I have left. This is, like, the biggest joke of my life, and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

When I finally do speak, my voice comes out quieter than I expect, almost detached. “So, what now? We just pretend none of this ever mattered?”

Drea’s eyes meet mine, and for a moment, I see something flicker in them—regret, maybe, or doubt. It seems like this is the most straightforward conversation we’ve had about the way we actually feel, and everything’s coming to light and an end at the same time. Just as quickly, she pushes it away, her expression hardening, and it makes every dot in my mind connect. “I’m not saying it didn’t matter. It did. That’s why we need to stop.” She’s trying so hard to be the rational one, to be the one who ends this cleanly. But nothing about this is clean.

I nod slowly, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Fine. If that’s what you want.” God, I even sound bitter.

She looks at me like she’s searching for something—maybe a reason to stay, or maybe just confirmation that this is the right choice. But then she sighs, her shoulders sagging with the weight of it all, and I know nothing, at least in this moment, would change her mind about me.

“Please take care of yourself.” She kept me grounded when I couldn’t find my footing, and those words just feel so cruel. It sounded like we’d never be speaking again, and I hated that thought.

I nod, unable to trust my voice, and then she’s gone. And just like that, it’s over. Or at least, it’s supposed to be.

A few days pass in a blur, and my time in Phoenix is slowly coming to an end. It’s safe to say the events of the city had only temporarily kept my mind off of everything, and now I’m sitting in a bar with Flau’jae, trying my best not to let the rain cloud over my head poke out. She’s talking, animated as ever, but I’m only half-listening, my mind drifting back to Drea more often than I’d like to admit.

“You’re not even listening to me, are you?” Her voice cuts through my thoughts, pulling me back to the present.

I blink, forcing out a smile. “Sorry,” I apologize, stretching my arms out in a way to reset. “I’m listening now. Promise.”

Flau’jae narrows her eyes at me, clearly not buying it. “Nah, you’re not,” she says, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair. “What’s got you so deep in thought? You’ve been acting like you’re here, but not really here, y’know?”

I shrug, trying to play it off. “Just tired, I guess. Been a long week.”

She studies me for a moment, her gaze sharp. “Uh-huh. And this long week wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain someone, would it?”

I bite my lip, trying to stay cool. Flau’jae doesn’t know about Drea and me—no one does, really. We made sure of that. But if anyone’s gonna pick up on something, it’s her. I should’ve known better than to think I could just sit here and pretend everything’s fine.

“Maybe,” I say vaguely, hoping that’s enough to satisfy her curiosity. “I just got a lot on my mind, I’m fine,” I reassure, furrowing my eyebrows as if it was nothing to worry about.

She raises an eyebrow, leaning in like she’s about to uncover some big secret. “Stuff, huh? Girl stuff?”

I roll my eyes, trying to play it off. “You’re too nosy for your own good, you know that?”

She grins, laughing a little. “Paige! Come on, spill. Who is she?”

I hesitate, and for a second, I consider telling her everything. But that’s a slippery slope, and I’m not ready to go there. So instead, I won’t reveal too much. “It’s complicated,” I sigh.

Flau’jae crosses her arms, fully intrigued. “Complicated how?” She could be a detective.

I sigh, raking a hand through my hair. “Just... complicated. Things didn’t end the way they were supposed to. And now I’m stuck trying to figure out what to do next.”

She nods slowly, taking that in. “So, you and this girl… y’all were close?”

“Yeah,” I huff out, nodding as I press my lips together. “Real close.”

Flau’jae gives me a knowing look. “Thats who you was texting last night at the game?”

“Maybe,” I drag out, a shit-eating grin gracing my face. Then I slip up. “I was jus’ too scared to say anything to her face.”

Her eyes widen, and she brings a hand up to cusp her lips. It takes me a bit to realize, and as soon as I do, she cuts me off. Damn it. “Thats why you was hugging her a little too long after the final buzzer.”

“Hey! I ain’ even say a name,” I say quickly and louder than intended, trying to backtrack.

She leans forward, eyes wide with amusement. “You didn’t have to! You gave me everything I needed to know. Paige, what the hell? You and Drea, for real? I didn’t know you had game like that.”

I jerk my head back, scrunching my face up at her. There was no doubt that Drea was one of the prettiest faces in the game, and the fact that she can ball too just really adds to it. “I can show you what these rizz hands can do,” I joked momentarily. “It wasn’t even supposed to be a thing, though. We kept it on the low for a reason.”

Flau’jae shakes her head, holding her lips a little tighter now. “You know what Twitter would do with this? You been out here sneaky-linking and didn’t even give me a heads-up?”

Sneaky-linking? Was that really what it was? “Can we stop talking about this?” I say, half-laughing despite myself.

“And y’all met in high school, too. That’s some next-level soulmatism or something.”

I chuckle, licking my lips as I lift up my drink. The clinking of the ice fills the silence, and I’m able to put a close to the conversation. “It’s over now, anyway. Doesn’t matter.” It’s a lie. We’d clearly went over that it did matter.

Flau’jae studies me for a moment, her eyes narrowing as if she can see right through me. But then she lifts her hands up in surrender, a smirk playing on her lips. “Alright, if it’s really over, how about you find someone tonight? You could use it if I’m being honest,” She retorts, referring to the mood I’ve been in the entire night because of my situation.

“Chill!” I laugh, shaking my head as I lean back in my chair myself. “You make it sound so easy.”

She shrugs, and I hesitate, taking a second to let my eyes wander around the bar. A couple of eyes meet mine, lingering longer than what’s considered normal. I’m not sure if they might know who I am, or just think I’m attractive. Or maybe both.

Flau’jae seems to notice too, shooting me a wild and bright smile. “See? you still got it. Just make a good choice.”

The car hums beneath me, the city lights flashing past as I sink into the leather of the backseat, my head leaning against the window. I can still taste the alcohol on my tongue, and my mind is replaying the past few hours like a hazy, disconnected reel. All I can think about is her.

You’d think after a night out I’d at least be able to get the mass of Drea off my mind, but I think it just made everything worse. No matter how hard I try to push her out, physically and emotionally, she’s always there, right on the edge of my thoughts.

I pull my phone out of my pocket, my thumb hovering over her contact. I know I shouldn’t text her. I know it’s a bad idea. But our last conversation on repeat and the emptiness from earlier are making my judgment untrustworthy, and before I can stop myself, I’m typing out a message.

Yo, you up?

I stare at the screen, the words staring back at me. It’s a weak attempt, but I’m past caring. A part of me almost hopes she won’t respond, that she’ll leave me to deal with the consequences of my choices alone. But then I add another text, like I can’t help myself.

Idc if you’re not

It feels like a challenge. Like I’m daring her to ignore me, to stay out of it. But I know that’s not what I want.

I swallow hard and send one last message, my fingers trembling slightly as I type.

You still in Phoenix, right?

The words hang there, waiting for her response. My heart pounds in my chest, and I can’t tell if it’s from the countless amounts of dirty shirley’s or the anticipation of hearing from her. Or both. I really hope I don’t throw up in this car.

I lean back in the seat in attempt to relax, but I can literally hear my heart beating. I wonder if the driver can, really. I don’t know what I’m hoping for, but I know that if she’s still here, if she answers… I’m not sure I’ll be able to resist whatever comes next.

The minutes stretch out in silence, broken only by the occasional sound of the car’s tires hitting a pothole. I keep my eyes glued to the screen, watching the three little dots appear and disappear. I should put my phone away, maybe even go back to the hotel and sleep this off, but I can’t. I’m too far gone for that.

The Uber turns down another quiet street, and I feel the weight of my decisions pressing down on me. It’s not just about tonight. It’s about all the nights that led up to this, every bad choice that brought me to this moment. The thought of facing it alone is unbearable, and I realize that’s why I texted her. Not because I want her to come over, but because I don’t want to be alone. Or that I do, just with her.

My phone buzzes in my hand, and I almost drop it in my rush to check the screen.

Why?

A single word, blunt and to the point. She’s guarded, as usual. But the fact that she responded at all makes me happy enough.

I just… I hesitate, staring at the blinking cursor. I don’t even know what I’m trying to say, but I settle on honesty.

Just wanna see you. Is that so bad?

I hit send before I can second-guess myself. My fingers hover over the screen again, and then I add another message.

I don’t wanna stop seeing you fr

It’s more than I planned to say, more vulnerable than I planned to be, but it’s the truth. And I’m too tired of pretending otherwise.

The reply comes quickly this time, and I can almost hear her voice in the words.

Are you drunk texting me right now?

And no, you mean you don’t wanna stop fucking me

Her words hit me like a punch in the gut, and for a moment, I just stare at the screen, the bright light from my phone casting harsh shadows in the dark car. I can feel the truth in what she’s saying, but it’s only part of it. Yeah, we’ve been physical, and I’m not denying that’s been a big part of this whole thing, but it’s not just that.

No, Drea. It’s more than that. We both know it always was.

You said it three days ago.

I hesitate before hitting send, but I know I have to. I can’t keep hiding behind the bullshit. She deserves better than that even if she won’t appreciate it.

The reply doesn’t come right away, and the silence feels like it’s pressing in on me from all sides. I shift in my seat. This whole thing—this whole night—feels like I’m balancing on a razor’s edge, and I’m terrified of falling off.

When her response finally comes, it’s short.

It’s 2am.

Ok, it’s not ideal. but I can’t stop thinking about everything you said.

And everything I didn’t say.

There’s another long pause, and I can almost picture her on the other end, trying to figure out what to say. We’ve been dancing around each other for so long, caught up in this push and pull, and now it feels like we’re on the verge of something, but neither of us knows how to take the next step.

Then, her next message comes through, and it’s enough to make my chest tighten. It’s hesitant but willing.

Where are you?

Outside your hotel.

Her reply is instant this time.

Come up.

I shove my phone into my pocket and step out of the Uber, my mind on a million as I make my way to her room. Every step feels heavy as if I’m walking through mud, but there’s a part of me that knows this is where I need to be—where I’ve always needed to be.

When I reach her door, it swings open almost as soon as I knock, and there she is, standing in front of me. Her eyes are guarded, just like her text messages, but I can see something softer underneath. Something that tells me she’s just as scared of this as I am.

“Paige,” she says, her voice a little wistful as she fiddles with the door knob. She looks me up and down, almost as if I’m being examined before I’m allowed in.

I don’t know what to say, so I just step forward, closing the distance between us. “I’m not drunk,” I state, shooting down her concerns from a few moments ago. She wouldn’t proceed if there was a chance I wouldn’t remember anything in the morning.

She looks at me for another long moment, like she’s trying to decide if she believes me. Then, with a sigh, she steps aside, letting me in. The door closes behind me with a soft click, and I lean against it. Suddenly we’re alone in her room, the reality of the situation settling around us.

“I know I shouldn’t have texted. But I did, and I’m glad I’m here.” I ramble, although still stern.

She sighs, and the curls that fall perfectly over her shoulders bounce a bit. Shes in a pair of short pajama shorts and a long, grey Nike tee-shirt that could’ve been mine. Correction, it definitely is mine. “You’re making this so much harder than it has to be.”

“It doesn’t have to be hard. We can make it less complicated.” I try to reason.

She stiffens, her breath catching as she looks at me, her eyes searching mine. “I—“

“I’m serious,” I cut her off, my voice low as I step closer to her. I couldn’t tell you what I was thinking. “I don’t know when I’m gonna see you again. And I can’t… I can’t leave tomorrow without letting you know how much I care.”

I don’t say it out loud, but the words are there, hanging in the air between us. I love you. And I’m sorry. But I can’t bring myself to say it. I don’t know why. Instead, I just hope she can feel it, hoping she knows without me having to spell it out.

“You can’t keep doing this,” she says quietly, her back turned to me as she walks further into the room. “Running to me when you’re feeling lost. It’s not fair.”

“I know,” I admit, taking a step closer. “But I’ont know how to stop. I’ve tried, but… since you’ve been apart of my life it’s been hard to let you go. I don’t wanna lose you—“

“You already did,” she cuts me off, turning to face me, and it scares me how serious she sounds. There’s pain in her eyes, but there’s also something else—something that makes me hope, even if just for a second. “We both did.”

I close the gap between us, and I can tell it catches her by surprise because of the look she gives me. My hands gently cup her face. “Then why am I here? Why did you let me in again?”

She glances down at my lips, and despite being angry, she doesn’t respond with words. Physicality has always been our response for everything involving each other. It’s all we know. She leans into my touch, and it feels like a birthday gift. Her eyes flutter shut before she opens them again, and it’s enough to make me lean in, pressing my lips to hers in a kiss that’s more desperate than anything else.

She kisses me back, her hands finding their way to my shoulders as she pulls me closer, and for a moment, it feels like everything else fades away. It’s just us, tangled up in each other, trying to find something solid to hold onto.

But then she pulls back, breathless, her hands still resting on my shoulders. She’s looking down, like she’s fighting some internal battle. “Oh my God,” she whispers, shaking her head. “You are drunk.”

“I told you I’m not,” I murmur, trying to find her eyes and pull her back to me by the waist, but she resists, her fingers gripping my shoulders tighter. Her resistance is strong, her fingers digging into my shoulders as if she’s trying to push away the intensity of the moment. “Please, Drea.”

She shakes her head, eyes still averted. “I can taste the alcohol!” She brings her thumb up to brush over my lips. “I knew it, why the fuck would you lie?” She’s trying to walk away at this point, but my grip is too tough. I won’t let her go.

“No, listen,” I say, more eager and clear. “What I said, what I meant—none of that has to do with being drunk. I’m here because I need you. Because I want you. This isn’t just about tonight.”

Drea’s resolve falters, her eyes flickering back to mine with her perfectly arched eyebrows crinkling up just a bit. “You’re saying all the right things, but I can’t just ignore—”

I cut her off by pulling her closer, my grip firm but gentle on her hips. My thumbs move beneath her shirt, stroking her skin and feeling the muscle. “I know.” My lips are ghosting over her ear. “But please, just for tonight, let’s not think about it.” I press a kiss right below it. “Just be with me. Let’s just be here.”

“Paige..” she starts again, her voice softer this time, and I love it when she says my name. I lean in, silencing her with a kiss that’s both insistent and tender. She melts into it, her resistance breaking as she wraps her arms around my neck. Shes quick to sneak her tongue in, the movement making me wince, furrowing my brows at how good she tastes.

I guide her backward until her knees hit the edge of the bed, and she falls onto it with a soft thud. I follow her down, my body pressing against hers as our kiss grows more fervent. My hands explore her curves, skimming over the fabric of her shirt as it rides up, and I feel her shiver beneath me.

“Is this mine?” I breathe against her lips, the warmth of her hands on my cheeks making my face flush a vibrant red. Drea nods, her breath hitching as she catches the look in my eyes. Without another word, I grab the hem of her shirt and yank it up over her head, tossing it aside. The shirt hits the floor, and she starts giggling like a school girl, her chest now fully exposed and daunting.

The sound of her laughter makes my stomach flip, and I can’t help but grin, leaning down to capture her mouth in another kiss. This time, there’s no hesitation, no holding back. Our bodies press together, her skin warm and soft against mine, like it was made for me.

My hands begin to wander a bit too much, all the way down to her shorts. Slipping my hand in, I can already feel how wet she is. She lets out a soft gasp as I trace slow, deliberate circles against her clit firmly. “Tell me what you want, baby,” I whisper, my breath fanning over her neck.

Her body has always reacted to every touch, every word. She’s trying to stay composed, but I can tell she’s barely holding on. Her hips instinctively push against my hand, silently begging for more, but I keep my movements steady, torturously slow and sloppy. I want to hear her say it.

“You,” she breathes out, her voice wavering. She’s antsy, I can feel it—the way her muscles tense, the way her breath comes in shallow pants.

“C’mon,” I murmur, nipping at her earlobe. “You can do better than that.”

She whimpers, her hands gripping my shoulders, nails digging into my skin as she tries to find the words. “Please… I need—” She breaks off, a soft moan escaping her lips when I press harder, right where she needs it most.

But then she grabs my wrist, stopping me just before she can fall over the edge. Her eyes lock with mine, and they’re low, dark, and daring. Three words that are very Drea. “Stop,” she says, her voice firmer now, even though I can tell it’s taking all her willpower. “I wanna feel you.”

The way she says it—so raw, so desperate—it’s enough to make me slip into a trance. I pull back, my gaze lingering on her as I strip off the rest of my clothes, watching as she does the same. Every inch of her is so perfect to the point where it should be a crime, and I want to touch every part.

I lay back on the bed, and she climbs on top of me, her movements deliberate and careful as she positions herself right over the bottom half of my body. I let my hands slide down her sides, tracing the curve of her waist before coming to rest on her ass. I tilt my head slightly against the pillows, mouth slightly agape. I can’t resist giving her a gentle squeeze, eliciting a soft noise from her. I smile, and my hands linger there, holding her close as she settles into place. We’ve done this countless amounts of times, and every single time it feels different. Better.

“You’re so fuckin’ sexy, you know that?” I pull her hips down, aligning our bodies perfectly, and the feeling of her heat against mine makes my breath catch, but I’m still focused. “Could stay like this all night.”

Drea licks her lips, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment as she adjusts herself, the friction and jolting of our bodies a whole whirlpool of pleasure. “You better,” she whispers back, a teasing smile tugging at her lips as her hands grip my legs so she can find herself.

Slowly, she starts to move, her hips grinding down against mine in a smooth rhythm. Every slide of her body against me is agonizingly perfect, and I can’t help the groan that escapes as she finds a pace that makes my whole body push up against her.

My eyebrows furrow as I take sight of where we meet, her pussy flat against mine. The squelching of our juices together fills the room, and I lose it. Maybe the alcohol is accentuating the feeling for me, or she’s just this good. “Fuck…” I breathe out, my hands roaming up her back, feeling the muscles flex and move beneath her skin. “You feel so good. Always so good.”

Her response is a soft moan, her head falling forward slightly as she loses herself. I let my hands slide back down to her ass, guiding her movements, making sure every grind, every brush of our bodies, hits just right. I can feel her trembling, her thighs shaking as she picks up the pace, chasing that high.

I can’t resist teasing her a little, my hands kneading her ass as she rides me, my fingers brushing just along the edge of her entrance, close enough to make her squirm but not enough to give her what she really wants. She lets out a frustrated moan, hips moving harder, trying to get more.

“Paige!” she groans, voice full of need and just the right amount of anger, her breath coming out in ragged pants. “Stop playing with me. I can’t take it.”

My grip tightens, and I keep her exactly where I want her, reaching up to tuck a loose curl behind her ear, my fingers lingering as I brush my thumb gently along her cheek. “You can take it, baby,” I whisper. “I know you can.”

She looks at me with those pleading eyes, her breath hitching as she adjusts herself, arching her back more. The movement pushes her even closer to me, our bodies pressing together, and the feeling almost sends me over the edge.

Without warning, I dip two fingers into her entrance, the sight too pretty to resist. It makes her gasp, her body collapsing forward against me. Our skin sticks together, warm too from the sweat, and her chest is pressing against mine as she struggles to catch her breath.

Before she can lose herself entirely, I slide my hand to her lower stomach, pushing her back up, guiding her into place. “Nah, stay up w’me, ma.” My voice is shaky with the effort of holding it together. Out of breath, mouth wide open. “Hold that shit.”

She whines out, her voice high and so pornographic. “Mm—oh, I can’t…” Her words trail off into a desperate moan, her body shuddering as my fingers move in that come-hither motion, curling inside her just right. The feeling of her slick is almost too much to bear, making my head spin.

I push through, keeping her steady even as I feel myself starting to lose control. “You can,” I pant, my breath coming out in ragged bursts. “So close, I know you can do it.”

She’s trembling, her thighs shaking as she tries to follow my command, but I can see the strain on her face, her dilated pupils, the way she’s fighting to keep herself together. My fingers work faster, deeper, and she bites down so hard on her lip I swear it might bleed.

Finally, when I feel her body tighten around me, right on the edge of breaking, I tap her ass lightly with my palm and pull my fingers out just enough to catch everything. “Now, baby. Come for me.”

The moment I say it, she lets go, and we come together, our bodies moving in sync, the room filled with strangled noises. The pleasure is blinding, overwhelming, and I cling to her as we ride it out. She’s finally able to fall on top of me comfortably, hand resting on my chest.

We stay like that for a moment, tangled together, both of us shaking with the aftershocks, until we finally start to come down. I press a soft kiss to her temple, my heart still racing (for more than one reason I’ll admit) as I hold her close.

I can feel her hesitance, scared to move or say anything. But I can also feel her tiredness, the way her body sags against mine like she’s too worn out to keep up any walls.

Gently, I shift, moving my body so I’m laid up next to her, our limbs tangling together naturally. My arm stays draped around her, holding her close as she nestles her head into the crook of my neck, her breath warm against my skin. It feels good—too good—like maybe we could stay like this forever if we didn’t know better.

“I want you to mean what you said. All of it.”

Her words hang, and I can feel her hesitation, the fear that I’m just saying things because it’s easier than dropping the bomb or just straight losing her. I swallow, pulling her closer.

“You’ont think I did?”

“Paige.”

“Drea, I do.”

She doesn’t respond right away, just presses herself deeper into me, like she’s trying to believe it, trying to let herself see us being more than what we are right now without it turning into shit. I know how hard that is, how many times we’ve proven we aren’t made for each other.

“Then prove it,” she finally murmurs, her voice a little stronger now, like she’s challenging me, daring me to back it up.

I nod against her, not sure if she can even feel it, but I know what she means. It’s not about words anymore—it’s about what comes next, and whether we can make it work. “I will,” I promise, and for once, I really believe it.

#bueckers’ works 🍒#paige bueckers #paige bueckers fanfiction #paige bueckers fic #uconn wbb #lgbtq #paige bueckers headcannons #paige bueckers smut #paige bueckers x reader #uconn huskies

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ashessonfire · 1 year

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Hi, I just gotta say I really love your stories and how detailed and eloquent your writing is.How about a Kaz Brekker x reader angst where a heist gone wrong results to Kaz (temporarily) losing his memory and reverting back to old Kaz, who is not in a relationship with reader, and he keeps pushing the reader away 'til reader gives up 'cause of something Kaz said or a scenario where they think Kaz is better without them♡♡♡thank you for listening HAHAHAHA

'Forgotten' - Kaz Brekker x Reader

Prompt - Kaz Brekker's plans rarely fail, but what happens when a heist goes incredibly wrong, and the Bastard of the Barrel forgets you completely? - Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader (established relationship) - Warnings: Depictions of violence, gunshots, Kaz's trauma / memories, Kaz being an asshole but not really his fault??? ANGST ANGST ANGST Part two found here! A/N: Thank you all so much for the amount of support and love i am getting for my first few posts! I will definitely write a part two if you want it, its a massive cliffhanger but would be WAY too long to do it in one go. JUST PURE ANGST IM SORRY T-T

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Kaz’s plans often fell victim to unseen circumstances, however, small hinderances to his meticulously planned out schemes rarely affected the outcome. Yet even Kaz himself had to admit, that this plan had gone spectacularly wrong.

From incorrect blueprints for the building, to four times the number of armed guards than initially expected, all the group could do was try and escape relatively unharmed. The crows were splintered into six breathless individuals, winding their way through narrow streets to try and loosen their attackers’ grips. Sprays of bullets and the glints of knives rushed past each one of them, only narrowly missing their targets.

That was until Kaz felt a searing pain in his leg, a sudden slash just under the back of his knee, sending fire trailing throughout his body. He groaned deeply, internally damning the attacker for not only striking his target, but also managing to hit Kaz on his already bad leg. The pain from the wound caused it to buckle, giving him a clear path straight towards the glistening cobblestone of Ketterdam’s streets.

Before he could fully feel the impact, a hand tightly gripped the roots of his hair, pulling his face parallel to the grinning pursuer, evidently pleased with his achievement of apprehending the Bastard of the Barrel.

Before Kaz could use his cane to fight back, it was violently ripped from his grasp, another set of hands clutching his own behind his back, rendering him completely immobile. Suddenly, the knife was yanked out of his leg, earning a surprised growl from Kaz, his leg leaking onto the stone beneath him a deep ruby shade.

“Well, that wasn’t so hard, was it? I’m afraid to say I am more than a little underwhelmed, Dirtyhands,” The leader of the group sneered, earning a howl of laughter from his gang, who seemed to be forming from the shadows of the abandoned street, emerging in staggering numbers.

Despite his predicament, a thought flashed through his mind, calming his increasingly alarmed state. “Perhaps they abandoned the others in favour of catching me,” Kaz silently contemplated, feeling a light sense of relief at the possibility his crew would make it back to the slat alive.

Especially you.

However, the relief was knocked out of him as swiftly as it came, along with all the air in his chest. A brutal kick sent him reeling backwards into the chest of the man behind, followed by a series of punches which Kaz was defenceless against. The assault continued, blood pouring into his eyes from an open wound on his forehead, blinding him to the onslaught of attacks that followed, as he rapidly tried blinking to wash away the crimson from his vision.

The ambush subsided, giving him enough time to throw his head back and remove some of the steadily flowing substance from his sight. Murmurs sounded around him, but Kaz couldn’t decipher what was being stated, the ringing from the punches obscuring the sound around him, leaving him underwater, drowning in his own blood.

Despite Kaz’s senses becoming increasingly obstructed, a flare of panic welled up within him, as he spotted something brassy glinting through the sheet of red, catching the light from the street lanterns surrounding them. The unknown object began its descent towards him, the glint becoming a beam which shone through the curtain of crimson, until it was just close enough for Kaz to make out the flash of a crow’s eye, and the curve of a beak.

“How ironic,” Kaz thought to himself, “Being killed by my own cane.”

The scarlet curtain closed on Kaz, the blow ending the performance the gang was putting on, leaving their victim in a world full of darkness, the feeling of the waves washing over him and pulling him deeper into the abyss.

The last thing he heard was the sound of a voice.

Jordie’s?

The concern that radiated from the sound brought him back to memories of the farm, where Kaz would climb too far up a willow’s branches, and his brother would have to call him down. Or perhaps when they had arrived in Ketterdam and Kaz had thought it comedic to hide in a dimly lit street, blissfully unaware of the dangers that lurked in its gloom.

However, as Kaz slipped deeper into the ocean, the voice getting further away with each of his slowing heartbeats, a tinge of warmth hit his chest, signalling that this wasn’t Jordie.

It was you.

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Your adrenaline had served you well, since shortly after you were separated from the crows, familiar edges of buildings and glints of neighboring signs entered your vision. Using this to your advantage, you utilized your familiarity of the area to hide, slipping into the shadows, melting into the gloom of Ketterdam's alleys. Soon, all five of your pursuers had bullets lodged in their throats unable to pinpoint where they were being shot from. Each fatal blow perfectly central just as Jesper had taught you.

Whilst your mind began to settle at the lack of immediate threat, something burred within your core pulled on your heartstrings, pointing your unsettling fear towards Kaz.

You had taken great care to note which routes the other crows had disappeared down, for insurance if they did not return to the slat within the agreed time. However, as you fled, your heart had plummeted at the sight of at least ten men chasing down your boyfriend.

Before your mind could register your actions, you were sprinting back in the direction you had come, weaving through the bodies littering your path. You quickly reached the alley Kaz had fled down, and you bolted through the streets you estimated Kaz would take.

As he was your boyfriend, you had become accustomed to imagining what he would do, or how he would act in certain situations, helping you decode his behaviour when he barricaded himself from you on troublesome days.

The sound of bone cracking and pained grunts pulled you away from your thoughts, turning a sharp corner just in time to see the head of Kaz’s precious cane colliding with his temple, the light visibly fading from his eyes due to the blow.

Rage swept through you, controlling your actions as your mind failed to synchronise with your body. Rushing forward, you shot wildly, achieving at least three separate screams from the men before you. Before the others were made fully aware of your presence, you had a serrated knife plunging into a further two, leaving fatal wounds which would slowly bring about their demise. Once every one of group were flooding the streets with their blood, your gaze shifted to Kaz.

Lying in a growing pool of blood, your boyfriend’s face was swollen, covered in deep gashes that littered his sharp features. The dim light from the lanterns overhead cast murky shadows over the wounds, highlighting the gruesome fate Kaz had endured. From somewhere far in the distance, you heard your voice screaming his name, begging for him to wake up, at some point you had even rushed over to him and began caressing his fractured face to wake him.

Allowing a deep inhale of Ketterdam’s air, you collected yourself, imagining that Kaz were conscious and scolding you for your slow reactions and the ‘weakness’ you were portraying. Laying your head against his frigid chest, you held your own breath, only releasing the growing tension when a faint heartbeat pounded against your ear.

Silently apologising for your next actions, you hooked both of Kaz’s arms underneath your own and used all your force to haul him back to the Slat.

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For several days following the attack, the group had come to a collective conclusion that their boss was severely concussed, so much so that he was barely conscious for more than a few minutes at a time.

Throughout the harrowing days, you never left his side, constantly aiding his body in a frail attempt to bring him back to the conscious realm, and to you.

The crows stopped by often to assist you, compelled to keep at least one half of the pair in a decent condition, Nina bringing hot food, Inej wiping down your face with a warm cloth, and Jesper or Wylan keeping you company for an hour or so, brightening the mood wit =h jokes or stories.

Time seemed almost to cease its movements, with even the smallest of things, like the rain rolling down the frosted glass in Kaz’s room, or the flickering of the candles illuminating the slat, appearing sluggish to you.

That was, only until Kaz woke up.

A bout of coughs awoke you from a light sleep, sending alarm bells ringing through your head, echoing off the walls and overwhelming you. Upon seeing the straining eyes blinking against the intensity of the candlelight, the roar swiftly subsided.

“Kaz,” you breathed out, barely audible to both you and him.

You gently reached out to feel the heat from his forehead, an action not dissimilar to the gentle brushes of his locks you would often settle on when he was too engrossed in scheming to provide you attention. However, your movements were stopped dead in their tracks when a voice sliced through the air.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Kaz seethed.

Although his voice was hoarse from his absence over the last few days, a clear threat laid deeply within his sentence, piercing your chest with a thousand knives. “Kaz, I’m just checking your temperature, my love,” you offered gently, praying to the Saints that whatever malice behind your partners eyes was due to his condition, and not a genuine fury.

Instead of removing the knives from your heart, he twisted them painfully, glaring directly at you as he warned lowly, “I am not sure how long I have been out for, but I severely doubt it would be enough time for a word like ‘love’ to be directed towards me. Especially by the likes of you. Go and get Nina, you are of no use to me.”

Your breath hitched painfully in your throat, blocking the air trying to travel both in and out, glittering eyes locked directly with his as your mind struggled to process the disgust that laced his voice. Your body battled as it tried to force another ‘Kaz’ out into the world, but he intruded before the sound escaped.

“Leave now, or I will dismiss you for insubordination. Go,” Kaz stated, bitterness being the only discernible emotion portraying through his words, his chest filling with an emotion so strong he couldn’t name it, deciding to settle on disgust. Your eyes welled up, clouding your vision as you cautiously left the room, shock coursing through your body and stiffening your every movement, causing shivers to wrack your body as your blood froze to ice.

Your mind seemed to leave your body, taking little note of going to Nina and sending her up to Kaz, or the other crows fawning over your broken state, clearly panicking further when your only form of response was a stiff silence. It seemed safer to hide behind glossy eyes and blank looks, than to decipher what had caused Kaz’s reaction.

It was only an hour later when Nina came downstairs, shaking you out of your daze with words that did a far more agonizing job than Kaz’s knives would.

She downright shot you point blank in the heart.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry, it seems like the blow has affected his memory. I can’t tell the severity yet, but it seems that he has no recollection of you two as, well you know. ‘You two,’” Nina bit out, voice cracking as her heart shattered for you, who now stood shaking before the group, the slightest breeze threatening to barrel you over.

You dismissed them with a fractured smile, barring yourself within the confines of your room, knives drawing blood within your heart, twisting excruciatingly each time a shuffle or a creak would sound from the room above yours.

════ ∘◦ᵒ 𓅓 ᵒ◦∘ ════

Your perseverance impressed not only the rest of the crows, but yourself too. You didn’t allow yourself to wallow in your self-pity for long, determined to regain Kaz’s memory despite his protests and frustration with you. You had already molded a loving relationship with the deadliest man in Ketterdam, you figured that you would be able to withstand doing it once more.

Enduring the blade-like words was the simplest part, however it was the emotion behind them that faltered you each time you were faced with him. He always his behind a face of insults or harsh syllables, but you had decoded their meanings long ago, the sentiment behind each radiating through in a way in which only you could detect.

As he recovered, you remained vigilant to his every need, bringing him herbal tea infused with medicine or offering fresh bandages to change when the blood seeped through the last.

Each encounter ended with tears streaming drearily down your face, matching the raindrops that hit against the pains of the slat, each impact slamming against your heart. As you persisted, the feeling Kaz felt towards you grew, the emotion intensifying with each glimpse at you.

He couldn't stand it.

Rage bubbled within him at your attempts at kindness, the insults increasing in harshness and malice each time you dared to provoke him.

Yet you bounced back, offering him delicate smiles, compassionate gestures, and kind words. However Kaz couldn't bear it any longer, the weight in his chest obscuring his breathing and brooding for too long, consuming him from the inside out.

Despite his unbroken hatred that radiated towards you, he seemed to gradually be regaining his memories, allowing Jesper's jokes or Nina's teasing to go as far as they would before the accident. It caused you great anguish, and shamefully jealousy, at his return to every one of his crows.

But you.

The door to his office was given a light few taps, before Kaz permitted you entry, knowing from the weight of the knocks it had to be you. Although the others seemed far more wary of him than usual, there was something almost gentle about how you acted towards him, making it easier for Kaz to single you out from the rest.

You entered with a stack of papers, a vast collection of work that had accumulated whilst he regained his health. Biting back his usual snarky insults and remarks dripping in poison, Kaz watched you intently, deadly intentions practically radiating from his gaze.

Setting down the pile, you stepped back silently, too exhausted to bear the weight of another one of his lashings, each word cutting you and leaving you bleed out, not dissimilarly to how you found him that night.

The silence in his office was impenetrable, the air becoming impossible to breath through the tension that radiated between you, with only one of you being able to decipher what it truly was. Your mind was so focused on the intake of air, you almost missed the hand that extended towards you, the closest he had allowed you since his memory had stolen you from him.

Clutched in his grasp was a simple white letter, signatures coating the outside of the envelope, and something folded, protruding from within the packet itself.

The silence became deafening, the pounding of your heart like a bird trapped in a cage infinitely too small for its prisoner, crashing into the walls in an attempt to escape. As your hand made contact with the offering, Kaz spoke in a tone you had never heard before.

He simply stated, "From tomorrow, at four bells, you will be gone. A job in Ravka requires someone of your skillset, so you will go. If you fail to comply then you will no longer be welcomed here. I have tolerated your incessant troubling for long enough, you have no true place here until you finally realize how burdensome you truly are."

Your heart stopped.

The air around you liquified, slowly filling your lungs with fluid and choking you, drowning you silently as Kaz looked on with an indifferent scowl, an eyebrow raised in question at your astonishment.

The tears streamed, your body screaming for air, for comfort, for him. But it couldn't seem to attain any one of them, instead pushing all its strength into forming the the right words to pierce Kaz Brekker's impenetrable façade.

"You still don't remember?" you coughed out, "After the incident who was it who rushed back to you, dragged your half-dead body across the Barrel and into the slat. Who stayed by your side until they were forced to leave each night? Do you not have any recollection, not of the memories, but of how you felt for me? Surely I didn't mean that little to you," your voice wavered heavily whilst you gasped out the final line.

The tears formed rugged streams across your cheeks, glinting in the dim candlelight from Kaz's desk, highlighting the pain you had hidden from him for weeks. It was now his turn to be stunned, the words echoing around his mind but not seeming to form into coherent meanings.

Despite Kaz's astonishment at your outburst, it wasn't enough.

Wasn't enough for him to stop you from walking away, or enough to whisper your name louder in confusion and uncertainty as your form dissolved into the hallway .

Surely this was what he was supposed to do?

Yet deep inside his plagued heart your words resounded, filling Kaz with a sense of dread, the waves that usually consumed him began to swell, drowning him in his seat just as he had done to you earlier.

He was certain on one thing, that the gaping pain in his chest which he had presumed was disgust, or perhaps even hatred, had not disappeared. Had not lightened as he had prayed it would if you just vanished.

No. Instead it had intensified into something that swallowed him whole, dragging him further into the bitter ocean than ever before, waves crashing fiercely above his head.

The emotion consumed him as his breathing deepened, heart both simultaneously stopping and racing into oblivion, as it finally dawned on him. Somewhere within that feeling a small spark remained glowing, something that felt warm and familiar which he had repressed.

Something that resembled care, or affection, or...

Love.

════ ∘◦ᵒ 𓅓 ᵒ◦∘ ════

Tag list: @animalistic00 @whos6claire

Click here for part two <3

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader imagines #shadow and bone season 2 #shadow and bone x reader #six of crows x reader #six of crows imagine #six of crows #grishaverse #shadow and bone imagine #kaz brekker x reader fluff #ashessonfire

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jeonqkooks · 1 year

Text

our beloved summer | jjk (07)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, swearing, mentions of oc's mother because we know girlie is hella traumatized, mentions of drinking, mentions of an almost physical fight, abandonment issues, jk forgets to practice safe driving for 2 seconds, and uhmmm kissing 🤫, anddd that cliffhanger? 👀 rating: 18+ (minors dni) word count: 10.8k note (1): this is the longest it has taken me to update obs and i do feel pretty guilty about that. but it's finally here now and this is one of the chapters that i'm the most nervous about posting. massive thanks to @daechwitatamic and @/wintaerbaer (edited 2024: crossed out but not removed bc even tho she plagiarized obs afterward, she did beta this for me so i guess i still gotta give her that lmfao) for beta-ing this for me or else i would've screamed cried thrown up and scrapped the whole thing, and to @jeonwiixard for being a wonderful cheerleader as i was writing this, and to everyone in my beloved obs discord server for always being so sweet and kind and putting a smile on my smile every day since the server was created. also to my sunshine ☀︎ for introducing me to the song mentioned below bc HELLO is it not just one of the most obs coded songs ever. love you all my babies <3

series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist join our OBS discord server ✨

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Somewhere in the multiverse There's a me and you that works We never fuck it up We're out there still in love Somewhere in the multiverse Maybe that's enough

multiverse - Maya Manuele ft. PEMRBOKE

Sometimes, whenever you look up at the moon at night, you wonder if Jungkook is doing the same thing.

Even when you fall out of love with someone, it still hurts. It hurts because you once loved them so much it felt like the sky would collapse if you couldn’t be with them. It hurts because the love wasn’t taken from you, but rather it started slipping away on its own, more and more each day until you realize you’re holding onto nothing when there once was everything.

You can’t say that you’re too familiar with that kind of hurt though. You’ve never fallen out of love before.

You don’t think Jungkook is too familiar with it either, at least not when he left you.

You wonder if he thinks about you from time to time and gets sad. You think he does, because you know that he loved you. Something ended for him too. The memories that you shared were his memories too.

You hope that it’s painful for him whenever thoughts of you cross his mind, because that would mean that he cares. That a part of him still cares.

And if he still cares, then he might come back.

Despite the front that you try to parade around, there is a part of you that will always leave your heart vacant for him, regardless of whether or not he would return. It’s a scary thought, one that you would rather avoid at all costs, one that says there will be no one that you love more than you loved Jungkook. Maybe there can’t be another person that you will love at all.

You can come back quietly, like the wind slipping through the crack I leave in the window at night; or you can announce your return resoundingly like a sudden downpour quenching the summer heat. I don’t care. I kept your side of the bed empty and warm, waiting for you to come back. Hoping that you would come home.

[08:47] Yoongi: sure you don’t want me to drive you there? [08:48] Yoongi: i can pick you up in 30 [08:52] You: positive 🤧 i told you i already booked the train. it’s only 4 hours away [08:53] You: i’ll survive, yoongs [08:55] Yoongi: did you not watch Train To Busan? [08:56] You: ? [08:57] Yoongi: what if there’s a zombie apocalypse [09:00] You: yoongi if there’s a zombie apocalypse, how is your CONVERTIBLE supposed to keep me safe [09:01] Yoongi: i’ll put the roof up [09:02] You: stop talking [09:02] You: please stop talking. [09:03] Yoongi: 😡😡😡 [09:03] You: 😇 [09:03] You: gotta get dressed now though. i’ll see u when i get back? :) [09:05] Yoongi: fine [09:06] Yoongi: safe travels. text me when you get there :)

You plop onto your bed with a sigh, glancing at the bag that’s already packed and sitting near your wardrobe, lonely. You stay like that for a while, contemplating whether or not you should bail at the very last minute.

It was not on your bingo card that you’d be here, agonizing over your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding. Nope. Absolutely no one saw it coming.

For fuck’s sake, why would they invite you to a wedding? A celebration of love? It feels like you’re being forced onto a prank show, just waiting for someone to jump out and scream in your face.

You learned that the wedding was for close friends and family only, so it would be a relatively small event, which makes it even more confusing why you were also asked to join. Maybe the world is changing too rapidly and you’re just a little old-fashioned for it, but you really don’t understand why your ex-boyfriend’s family would want you there.

Taehyung and Jimin were invited too; they’re Jungkook’s best friends after all. They’re practically an extension of the family, Jungkook’s brothers by choice. But Taehyung doesn’t come back from his work trip until the day of the wedding, and Jimin… Well, he just doesn’t want to go to a Busan wedding in the middle of winter.

So why are you even going?

You could’ve declined. Said you couldn’t attend because the invitation came in so late. Made up a work trip or a family emergency. There’s a plethora of excuses you could’ve used.

Or you could’ve simply said no. That would’ve been perfectly fine too. No one would even need to ask why.

But maybe it was because his mother had customized the invite with her own handwriting in the back. You would’ve missed it if you hadn’t spent hours meticulously studying the card like someone was going to quiz you. It wasn’t anything special - just We hope to see you there - but you think you’d feel really bad to decline after she’d made the extra effort to ask you to come.

When you told Yoongi that you would be attending Jungkook’s brother’s wedding, he didn’t seem upset. Still cool as a cucumber. Although if he was bothered by the announcement, you don’t think he would’ve let it show. It did take him a minute to take it in, but then he just pecked your cheek and asked if you could bring a plus-one. You both knew that you wouldn’t even if that was an option.

Pushing your body off the bed, you drag yourself to the bathroom to splash some water on your face. Then sunscreen. Then change into the clothes you’d already picked out last night. Your train doesn’t leave for another hour and fifteen minutes, but you want to be there at least twenty minutes early just in case. This is one of your only good habits.

You rub your eyes when you finally haul yourself outside, thinking you must still be dreaming because what is Jungkook’s car doing here?

You blink a few times, expecting the vehicle to disappear in a puff of white smoke.

Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.

The car is in front of you, but the man is nowhere to be found.

You stand there dumbfoundedly, contemplating whether you should wait it out for a little bit to see if he’s actually here. He comes running up to you a couple minutes later, holding two paper cups in his hands, one of them a chai latte. A memory you’d buried long ago comes rushing to the surface. It’s too early for you to be feeling.

“Hi,” he says, his warm breath coming out in a huff of smoke in the crisp morning air.

“Hi?” you mutter dumbly when he trades the bag in your hand for the drink. There’s a moment where you’re genuinely baffled, wondering if this is a memory reel playing right before your eyes. This is your Jungkook, wearing that same old smile whenever he used to come bounding up your dorm building so you could walk to the library together, where he would hang out with you during your shift if he didn’t have classes. “What are you doing here?”

You don’t remember telling him what time your train was, so he’d probably badgered it out of Taehyung or Jimin somehow.

“I thought I could drive us there,” he says. “I texted you about it.”

Well, that explains it. You don’t bother with his dozens of messages anymore. “Oh, uhm, I already booked the train.”

This doesn’t seem to faze him at all. “Free cancellation up to 15 minutes before departure.” Jungkook grins, clearly eager despite your obvious reluctance. It’s too early for this, whatever the hell this is.

When you told him that you had RSVP’d yes to the invitation, he was surprised that you even knew about the wedding. He even seemed nervous that day.

“What if I’d already left?” you ask.

He blinks, then stammers like a confused child. It’s cute, and you have to mentally slap yourself over the head for even thinking that.

“Then I’d go after you.”

How? you scoff internally. Unrealistic.

Regardless, not even an hour ago, you were declining Yoongi’s offer to drive you there. Now, you’re standing here, in front of your ex-boyfriend, contemplating whether or not you should go with him.

“Let’s go,” he says after a minute. “We don’t wanna be stuck in traffic.”

“I haven’t said yes.” Yet. “It’s a 4-hour drive.”

You don’t have to clarify what you mean. He understands it.

You both just stare at each other for a moment, the tension suddenly thickening with every passing second. Four hours on the road. Four hours alone in a car with Jungkook. That’s about two hundred minutes more than you think you can handle.

It’s like he can see right through you. “Don’t think about it,” he says, voice dropping lower. “It’s just a weekend. Everything will still be here for you to think about when we get back.”

In your head, it translates to: All of our shit will still be here when we get back. You can keep being mad at me then.

You hope that’s not true. You hope that when you get back, the things that keep you up at night will simply cease to exist. That in the two days you’ll be gone, a genie will materialize and solve all your problems for you.

Either way, it’s probably for the best that you aren’t mean to him this weekend. You’re stuck with him for the next 48 hours or so; it’ll only stress you out even more if you channel all of your energy into tormenting him. Besides, you’re already the ex girlfriend who has no place alongside his family. You don’t want to be the dark cloud raining on everyone’s parade too.

Maybe you’d already made up your mind when you let him take the bag from you.

For the first half of the drive, you were unconscious.

It’s a useless superpower that you have, the ability to fall asleep anywhere - literally anywhere, including in the passenger seat of your ex-boyfriend’s car while he escorts you to his hometown. Melatonin gummies manufacturers hate you.

You could’ve slept the whole drive, but around the second hour mark, you were startled awake when your body jostled forward, straining against your seatbelt uncomfortably. There was an arm trying to hold you back, despite the seatbelt having done its job well.

“Fuck,” Jungkook curses before he turns toward you, worry written all over his face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, are you okay?”

You blink, still half asleep. “I’m okay,” you say. The minivan that Jungkook almost rear-ended continues on its merry way, carrying what seems to be a family of five. “What happened?”

He sighs, his outstretched arm retreating back to his side. “I got a bit distracted, that’s all.”

You take in your surroundings then. There’s barely any other cars in sight, no tacky billboard that sticks out like a sore thumb to catch your attention. There’s just the freeway, stretching on empty for all you can see.

“By what?” you ask.

“Nothing,” he says. “Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when we get there.”

See, you have the superpower of falling asleep anywhere and everywhere, but once you’ve been woken up, it’s not as easy to fall back asleep.

That, and the fact that you’re hungry as shit.

You open your mouth, about to say no, about to offer to drive the rest of the way if Jungkook is tired, but your stomach doesn’t let you get a word out. It growls, filling the space of the car, making you want to chuck yourself out the fucking window and run all the way back to the city. This wouldn’t have happened had you taken the train, because if you had, there would’ve been food services and no one would be subject to hearing your stomach sing like it’s chewing out a small puppy in there. Life is nothing but an endless pit of embarrassment and despair.

Your arms hold themselves tighter around your frame, practically squeezing into your abdomen as you will it to please, please, please be quiet. Jungkook stares at you, and you can tell by the teeny tiny quirk of his lips that he’s trying to bite back a smile. He’s relaxed, but there’s still something hesitant on his face. It takes him a minute before he finally throws the question out.

“Do you want to go to that guksu place that we used-” that we used to go to, “you know the place. The one that’s right off the freeway?”

The sun is out today. The sky unfolds endlessly just outside the window, coloring blue everything your eyes land on. There are strips of clouds scattered here and there, like delicate strokes of white paint on an azure canvas. Even the winter cold has to soften.You bite into your cheek. Don’t think, that’s what he had told you.

Not much about this quaint restaurant has changed. The quirky decorations are still where they used to be, the windows still the same unique stained glass that you never came across anywhere else. You remember the elderly woman who runs the place, even if she doesn’t have a single clue who you are. The golden retriever you used to fawn over every time you stopped by, sits quietly by the door and watches the cars pass by, his fur now graying as weariness begins to settle into those old bones.

You would’ve been displeased if the place had changed, because, well, you don’t like change. But then again, this familiarity is dangerous. It tricks you into thinking that everything is still the same, even you and him. Deludes you into believing that you’re still in love and that he’ll walk out of here holding your hand.

Regardless, the first spoonful has you biting back a smile.

“How is it?” Jungkook asks.

It makes you feel all warm inside, and then a little sad, nostalgic.

“Tastes just the same,” you tell him simply.

“Hmm.”

He lets you satisfy your hunger in peace. It’s the least he can do anyway.

There’s a wall near the back of the restaurant, where people could hang polaroids of themselves and cute handwritten notes. You think if you dig through the hundreds of photos scattered across the space, you might be able to find you and Jungkook there, if you two haven’t already been thrown out long ago to make room for new memories.

He pays for your food after you’re both finished, despite some protesting on your side. As you leave, you’re busy thinking that if you could have a moment to marvel at that far-back wall of memories, if you could find a photo of you and him there, you would probably sneak it into your coat pocket.

It’d be another thing to add to your pile of Jungkook memorabilia - the old clothes in the back of your closet, the stack of dusty polaroids at the bottom of your drawer. You wonder if he keeps anything of yours, maybe an old t-shirt that you forgot to take back. It’s probably unlikely, but a girl can hope.

You miss the way Jungkook glances back, thinking the exact same thing.

You survive the rest of the drive with more ease, probably because of the food. You spend most of the remaining 2 hours leaning against the window, humming to the radio, closing your eyes but not really sleeping. You even forget to be nervous about what is to come.

That is, until the car pulls up to the venue.

It’s absolutely gorgeous, and a lot bigger than you imagined - a modern beach house overlooking the waters. It’s not as extravagant as one would expect to see when they come to a wedding, but considering the small crowd in attendance, this is more than enough. You see people rush in and out of the place even from far away - planners, caterers, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, probably.

You feel a bit comforted just watching this. His family seems to be doing a lot better than before. It’s nice to know.

You barely make it out of the car before someone calls your name, and pulls you into a hug that knocks the wind out of you. Although, when you catch the scent of her hair, you instantly know who it is.

Parents usually have a scent that’s distinct to only their kids, a scent so cozy and homely that no perfume can ever mask. You can only describe your mom’s scent with a feeling, specifically the feeling of your chest tightening, tingling with a bittersweetness that you never found elsewhere.

Strangely enough, Jungkook’s mother has always made you feel the opposite. She makes you feel relieved to be in her embrace, like she accepts you for who you are even if all you are to her, at the end of the day, is a stranger.

You hug her back awkwardly, hesitantly, in front of Jungkook’s dad, his brother Junghyun, and a girl you don’t know. You assume that she’s the bride-to-be, the main character whom this weekend revolves around. Sooji, you remember that was the name on the wedding invitation.

You get choked up suddenly, eyes turning glassy though you quickly blink it away. You’re not sure if you’ve had someone be so happy to see you. Bypassers might even think that you just found the cure for cancer.

For a second there, you wonder if your mere presence has ever made your mother this overjoyed.

You look at Jungkook for help, silently asking him to rescue you. Who else are you supposed to turn to if not him?

He understands that look. “Okay, mom,” he says, entangling her arms from you with ease, “Y/N’s tired from the drive. Let’s let her rest, yeah? I’ll show her the room.”

She ignores her son. “Honey,” she says, brushing your hair away from your face so she could see you better. “Thank you for coming.” She used to insist that you call her “mom”, or at least by her first name because “Mrs. Jeon” was too formal for someone she considered family.

You now have to opt for the latter, because “mom” isn’t an option for you anymore.

“Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Jeon,” you tell her with a smile. You’re not really sure what else to say, but it makes you a little sad just calling her that.

She opens her mouth before closing it again, seemingly about to jokingly scold you for the formality before she recognizes the bittersweet look in your eyes. She just smiles at you then. There’s not much to be done about it.

You don’t know if anyone else sees how the moment is weighed down. Probably not. Maybe it’s just you and her who share this sentiment.

Jungkook doesn’t wait for his mom anymore. Sons, typical. He wedges himself between the two of you like a bulldozer and leads you inside the house.

Even though all you have is an overnight bag, Jungkook carries it for you all the way up to your room, which is only down the hall from his. Then he disappears pretty quickly afterward, saying something about his best man duties and putting out fires. He seems apologetic as he tells you this, but it’s not like you’re expecting him to babysit you all weekend.

You bore yourself to death in your room for a while, before you remember you have to text Yoongi to let him know you got here safely. Though, you stop short of telling him that it was Jungkook who drove you here. It’s trivial enough, right? You don’t want Yoongi to feel bad over nothing. You do, however, inform Taehyung and Jimin when you text them about it, to which Jimin only responds with a preemptively disapproving ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’

When you get too stir-crazy, you wander outside, hoping to explore the beach before it gets dark and colder. You try to stay out of everyone’s way, because a good guest is a quiet guest. You seem to be doing a good job. No one notices you, not even Jungkook’s mom but that’s because she’s the person you actively want to avoid the most. You don’t know what you’d even say to her if she gets you alone.

Everything is hectic, as one can probably imagine when it comes to wedding preparations. You haven’t had anyone close to you get married yet, so it’s safe to say that you’re pretty much clueless about all of this. You wonder what it’ll be like when your big day comes around, if you even ever get married. You haven’t thought about it in a long time. Why would you? You don’t really have a reason to think about this. It’s much easier to picture Taehyung’s or Jimin’s wedding day than your own.

Your opinion on having kids still remains the same, and you were never one of those girls who daydreamed about having a big and extravagant wedding, but it’s not such a bad idea to ponder about. You still think marriage is a scary thing - it’s one of the biggest commitments a person could ever make - but you’re not entirely opposed to getting married.

Why are you even mulling over this? Your time might never even come.

When you round the corner to get the steps that would lead you down to the beach, you run into Sooji and a woman holding a thick binder - must be a wedding planner. You give Jungkook’s future sister-in-law an awkward smile in greeting, which she returns much more gracefully before she tells the woman that she’ll be with her in a minute.

So now you’re stuck here, about to make small talk with a person you have never met before, and will likely never see again. Great.

“Hi,” you say, extending a hand. “I haven’t had the chance to introduce myself. I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Sooji,” she replies warmly as she shakes your hand, and you have to stop yourself from being a little weirdo and thinking about how silky her hair looks up close. “You’re Jungkook’s… friend, right?”

You purse your lips before nodding with a chuckle. The pause tells you that she knows, and you wouldn’t be surprised if she’s uncomfortable having you here.

“I’m sorry if this is weird. You probably don’t want a complete stranger at your wedding.”

Sooji shakes her head instantly, waving her hands around to dismiss your apology. “Please, it’s totally fine. Junghyun’s mom talked to me about it before we sent out the invites. I wouldn’t have agreed if I was really bothered. Don’t worry about it, seriously.”

“Why did you agree?” you ask, trying to sound as polite as possible. “You don’t know who I am.”

“I guess I was curious.” She shrugs, before laughing lightly as she says, “I used to think you weren’t real.”

“Huh?”

“She talks about you constantly. Never in front of Jungkook, of course. But she’s really fond of you, and you probably already know that doesn’t happen very often. She really does see you like a daughter. She made you sound too good to be true.”

You’re not sure how to respond to that. His mom still thinks about you, still talks about you after all this time. You’re just his ex-girlfriend, but she considers you her family. You don’t know what to do with this information nor the way it pinches your heart.

“I-” You purse your lips, fumbling with the responses in your head. You settle on a light laugh, because Sooji can probably tell that you’re struggling with the words too. “I have to be honest. I don’t know what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just thought you should know that you’re still very much loved here.” She gives you a kind smile, and it looks like she wants to tell you something else but decides against it in the end. Sooji’s eyes land somewhere behind you before she points in that general direction. “I have to go take care of an issue with the flowers, but look, Jungkook is here. Why don’t you ask him to show you around?”

And then she’s already off. Overall, what a… strange interaction.

You turn around to see Jungkook standing near one of the entrances to the house. As you watch him talk to someone - a bridesmaid, you assume, or just one of the other guests - you try not to think about the fact that there’s a stirring sensation in your stomach, and that it only intensifies when she throws her head back in a pretty laugh, a perfectly manicured hand landing on his arm like he’s the most charming person she’s ever met.

You don’t give it a name, don’t label it green in color even though you’re blue and he’s golden sunshine. You don’t acknowledge that it’s a feeling, because doing so would make it real and there are certain truths that you’d rather delude yourself into thinking are lies.

When Jungkook’s eyes catch yours and he cuts off the woman mid-sentence with a curt excuse me, you don’t acknowledge that feeling either, but it’s warm and it blooms in your chest as he makes his way to you. It’s something victorious, something that tickles your ribs.

He comes to you like you’re a destination he’s been waiting all his life to reach, and you certainly, adamantly don’t acknowledge the spectacularly dizzying feeling that swallows you whole when he places a gentle hand on your arm, his voice soft as he says, “There you are. I was looking for you.”

The familiarity, it’s catastrophic.

“I was just walking around,” you tell him. “There’s not a lot to do here. I was bored.”

“You have me,” he says. Probably not in that way, but you’d like to think that’s how he means it. “I don’t have any more fires to put out. What do you want to do now?”

You glance over your surroundings, still set on your original plans. You wanted to go alone, but you suppose you can let him accompany you. You check the time on your phone before asking, “Can we go down to the beach? I wanna see if we can catch the sunset.”

You used to do this whenever you came here to visit - walk along the beach, hand in hand, sunlight in your hair and the cool breeze holding you tight in the afterglow.

The keyword here is “used to”. Now, you have to stuff your hands in your pockets just so you don’t reach for him every time you shiver.

It’s late enough in the afternoon for you to see the moon faintly shine against a blue and orange backdrop. Sun and moon, together in the same frame. It feels symbolic somehow. You’re not really sure.

“The moon looks like an egg,” Jungkook observes astutely, taking casual strides next to you. It makes you burst into easy laughter, which makes him laugh with you too. You stop walking when you reach what you think is a good spot to watch the sky.

“Let’s sit here for a bit,” you say. It’s not the greatest idea - sitting idly by would only make you colder - but you just want to stop and look at the sunset. Once you’re seated in the sand, you respond to his moon remark, “That’s true, y’know. NASA said so.”

“Yeah,” he says, settling down beside you, “you made me read that.”

You’d forgotten about it, and you didn’t think that he’d remember. It’s freezing cold and the moon looks like an egg, but you’re not thinking, and you feel safe. Nothing can hurt you here, or at least that’s what you’d like to tell yourself.

You wrap your arms around yourself to keep from shivering, but you still shiver anyways.

“Are you cold?” he asks.

“A little,” you admit. “I should’ve worn a thicker sweater. But it’s o-”

He doesn’t let you finish the sentence, just smoothly takes off his jacket to put it around your shoulders.

You put your hands atop his to stop him. When you touch him, there’s an electric tingle that almost makes you flinch. He feels warm, still resembling a human furnace.

“No, you don’t have t-”

“Take the jacket, Y/N,” he says. “It’s just a jacket.”

The jacket smells like him. It only makes you want to crawl further into the warmth.

He seems more self-assured here, that’s what you notice. More like the version of himself that he used to be. Confident, sometimes borderline cocky. Annoying but oddly endearing, you came to love that about him.

His relaxed demeanor is understandable. You’re merely a visitor here, while this is his homeground.

“I’m curious about something,” he says after a while.

“Okay.”

“What’s the deal with Wednesdays?” he asks.

“You know how they say bad things come in threes?” You purse your lips, thinking it over, feeling something bitter in your mouth as you recall the events that led to this. “My parents got divorced on a Wednesday. I moved out of mom’s house on a Wednesday. And…” You hold your knees close to your chest as you hesitate to utter this last part, “we broke up on a Wednesday.”

You see the exact moment Jungkook mentally slaps himself, paling a couple shades as he tongues his cheek, not expecting his question to inadvertently lead back to this. It wasn’t your intention to guilt trip him. It was true that he dumped you on a Wednesday, but you don’t want the mood to turn sour, to have to mull over this again. Like he said, it will still be there for you to worry about when you get back. You’re not looking forward to returning to a shitshow, but what you’d hate even more is to tarnish the memories of this place just because you can’t keep from being vindictive for not even a weekend.

“I was born on a Wednesday too, so I guess bad things come in fours sometimes,” you continue, chuckling to yourself humorlessly.

A frown appears on his face almost instantaneously. “What is that supposed to mean?”

You shrug. Jungkook turns his body toward you, which makes you spare him a glance before you return your gaze to the horizon. His face is so serious that it’s almost funny. “Y/N,” he presses. “Why would you say that?”

“C’mon, it’s a joke. I was just being self-deprecating. Lighten up.”

“Why are you talking like that?”

“Like what? Contrary to popular belief, I don’t walk around with a thundercloud over my head all the time,” you laugh lightly. “I figured if there was a day to be nice to you, it should be today. And tomorrow, I guess.”

“This is you being nice?”

Funny how just a few weeks ago, you were fighting with him and calling him a hypocrite. Now, you’re sitting together, watching the sun set, trying not to be mean to him.

“I’m not picking a fight with you,” you say. “This is nice enough.”

“It’s not even my wedding.”

“Okay.” You glance at him again, letting words flow without a single thought. “I’ll be even nicer to you on your wedding day then.”

You don’t know where that even came from, but something aches the very second the words leave your mouth. The thought of him getting married one day makes you just nauseous, even though you always knew that it was a possibility. It might even be inevitable.

You clear your throat, waving the sullen feeling away. Your body shivers then, even after the added warmth of his jacket. Maybe you’re not shivering because of the cold anymore.

He doesn’t say anything, but you can feel his eyes linger on the side of your face. The both of you keep tiptoeing around an elephant that follows you wherever you go.

You hug your knees close to your chest, watching the blue sky melt into the golden horizon, splattered with ribbons of cotton candy clouds.

You want to scooch closer to him and have him wrap his arm around your shoulders. This isn’t the spot where you used to draw your names in the sand, enveloped in a giant heart like two lovesick kids, but wouldn’t it be nice to imagine that it is?

“I was always really happy here,” you mumble to yourself.

You were, truly. This city was your pocket of hope, your piece of peace.

Being here brings back so many memories.

It’s the same feeling you get every time you pass by somewhere you used to live. The nostalgia of walking down the same road you used to walk every day until your shoes wore out. The familiarity of your surroundings. The bittersweetness of looking into a past you cannot hold anymore, of remembering the person you were at a certain period in your life, of knowing the things you do now that you didn’t back then.

You long for things you cannot change.

Nostalgia only grows stronger with time, you can always count on that.

He hums in agreement, before admitting quietly, “I miss you.” One pulls, the other pushes. The water wavers, like it’s touched by his words, simple but earnest. You’re touched too, somewhere in your heart, where you know you should be writing someone else’s name now.

Should?

“You’re pushing it,” you say softly.

“I know.”

You look at him. Maybe it’s because you’re back in the city that holds only good memories of you two. Maybe you’re hypnotized by the way the pink and purple hues kiss his side profile, making him feel like a fever dream and not someone you loved. Maybe it’s the cold, making you yearn for any source of warmth. But instead of returning his sentiment, you say, “It’ll pass.”

He meets your eyes. There’s something pleading in his gaze. All things pass eventually. Time moves forward, people move on. Bad things will pass sooner or later. Your worst heartbreak, your most arduous trials, your saddest moments, they will all pass.

And good things… good things will have to pass too, whether you like it or not.

Your fingers twitch from where they’re still holding onto your body. You itch to reach for his hand. You don’t tell him what he wants to hear, even though here’s a part of you that wants to say it back. In a better world, you would be telling him I love you too, instead of having to suppress an I miss you too.

“All things have to pass eventually. This will too.”

[20:05] Taebear 🐻: we could go to that bar near the gallery. Y/N likes the cocktails there [20:06] Mimi 🐥: kay kay [20:06] Mimi 🐥: soooooo next friday? [20:09] Mimi 🐥: why is y/n reading our messages. shouldn’t she be at dinner [20:09] You: i approve of the bar choice [20:11] You: if you didn’t want me reading your messages, you shouldn’t have sent them to the gc [20:11] You: and if you must know, i’m skipping dinner. i’m avoiding Jungkook’s mom [20:12] Mimi 🐥: understandable. i figured you would do that [20:13] Mimi 🐥: how’s it going? are we regretting going yet? i told you to just stay home and we could binge watch the office together [20:15] You: and EYE told you that you could be a good friend and go to this wedding with me but nooooo baby doesn’t like the cold [20:16] You: you could’ve visited your parents while you’re here you know. two birds with one stone [20:18] Mimi 🐥: babes my parents stayed with me for a whole month last month. i reached my quota for family face time [20:19] You: son and friend of the year 👏 [20:20] Mimi 🐥: 😎😎😎😘

[20:22] Taebear 🐻: hey [20:23] You: uh oh. am i in trouble? why is this not in the gc? [20:25] Taebear 🐻: lol shut up [20:26] Taebear 🐻: you okay? [20:28] You: feels like that could’ve been a perfectly good question to ask in the gc [20:29] Taebear 🐻: because it’s a serious question and we both know Jimin can’t be serious for one minute to save his life [20:32] You: why does it have to be a serious question? 🤪 [20:32] Taebear 🐻: 😕 [20:33] You: stop pouting. i’m fine [20:35] Taebear 🐻: are you? [20:36] You: i am! you don’t have to go all mama bear on me [20:39] Taebear 🐻: ha ha ha. you’re so funny [20:40] Taebear 🐻: want me to call you? [20:42] You: i said i’m fiiiiiine 🙄 [20:43] You: but also no because i told everyone i was tired and i’m pretending to be asleep in my room right now [20:43] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:43] Taebear 🐻: did you eat something at least? [20:44] You: i have a cup ramen in my room [20:45] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:46] Taebear 🐻: how was today? did JK make you wanna strangle him? [20:48] You: okay Kim Taehyung at least act like you have some faith in your friend lol [20:50] You: but mmmmmm it was ok. he was mostly behaving himself [20:51] Taebear 🐻: mostly? [20:54] You: we were down at the beach and he just told me he missed me out of the blue [20:55] You: Mimi is asking why no one is replying to him [20:57] Taebear 🐻: i can see that [20:58] Taebear 🐻: what did you tell JK? [21:01] You: i quoted fleabag to him [21:09] Taebear 🐻: i had to google that [21:10] Taebear 🐻: i still don’t know what that means [21:11] You: i know you don’t lol. you’re adorable [21:11] You: i’ll tell you when i get back. [21:13] You: ok bye i have to sleep early or i’ll look like ass in the morning [21:14] Taebear 🐻: oh. okay [21:15] Taebear 🐻: sleep tight. remember not to gorge yourself on booze tomorrow [21:17] You: thanks for the reminder. love you mom 🙄💕 [21:17] Taebear 🐻: :) [21:20] Taebear 🐻: you won’t look like ass btw

You clocked out right after you told Taehyung that you would. It wasn’t a peaceful sleep though. The anxiety simmering in your belly woke you up a few times throughout the night. You don’t even know why you were anxious. It’s not like you were the one who was about to walk down the aisle.

When morning finally came and you managed to untangle yourself from the surprising comfort of your familiar bed, you practically dragged your feet for the subsequent two hours, trying to get ready. As if that would actually slow down the passage of time.

You had to compartmentalize the things you needed to do in a mental checklist. Makeup. Hair. Dress. Stare at yourself in the mirror for half an hour and internally freak out while waiting for Jungkook to come get you from your room.

Now you’re sitting in the wedding hall, watching people filter into the room. It’s not even a lot of people, but you’re still overwhelmed regardless.

You feel so exposed, even though he’s the only one looking at you in this room of strangers. He’s been looking at you like that ever since he first saw you this morning, in a dress that you got just days before the wedding. You still don’t know if it’s entirely appropriate for your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding - maybe a bit revealing - but it was the only one you could find on such short notice.

When you tried on the dress for Taehyung and Jimin a few days ago, Taehyung said you looked beautiful. Jimin said you looked decent, “six point five out of ten,” which translated to “pretty nice” in Jimin-lingo. That would’ve been enough if you were going to any other wedding, not one where Jungkook would also be attending.

You had wanted him to see you and regret ever leaving you.

It was a silly thought, just a tad adolescent.

You had wanted him to see you in your dress and be consumed with thoughts of you until he couldn’t even see straight. To be the only thing on his mind, you didn’t think it was a lot to ask for.

That was before he told you not to think about it and you’d been convinced to just go with the flow just for two days. It was before he actually did see you earlier today in your dress - a simple midnight blue satin cowl neck with a slit in the thigh - but you were the one rendered helpless and speechless. He had stared at you for a minute when he came to walk you down from your room, then he’d said, all breathless even though both of you were just standing there, “You’re beautiful.”

You’re beautiful, not You look beautiful.

You don’t know why, but you appreciated it.

It made your cheeks burn underneath your artificial rosy blush. Stupid, you thought to yourself when you two made your way to the main hall. Stupid for letting yourself get dizzy because of a single compliment from him.

You’re seated with his parents, which makes sense because you don’t know anybody here except for them. Well, maybe you know one of his cousins whose kid you and Jungkook used to babysit whenever their family was in the city, but you doubt that he even remembers you anymore.

When the ceremony begins, your heart instantly feels like it’s about to drop to the pit of your stomach.

You can’t lie to yourself. It stings.

It stings just sitting here next to his parents like a daughter-in-law, like a member of their family, watching his brother solidify his happy ending.

It stings that Jungkook is standing up there, looking as handsome as ever, but his eyes aren’t on the couple. They keep flickering to you no matter how much you try to pretend that they don’t.

It stings that even though you don’t think about marriage often - or maybe you just don’t allow yourself to - you can’t deny that the thought does cross your mind from time to time. Any time that you’d wander the corridors inside your head, you’d pass the doors that you keep unopened on purpose but there’s always that one door marked with a bright red X that you can never sidestep.

You watch Junghyun and Sooji with their teary smiles and shaky hands, shaky but happy. There’s a sudden clarity that this could’ve been you and him in another life. Forever is a lie, but you would’ve perjured yourself a thousand times for him. I do - you would’ve meant it.

You imagine yourself in Sooji’s place, and Jungkook, standing right on the other side, holding both your hands in his. A beautiful and radiant bride terrified of the altar. A dashing groom with a smile that could rival the sun and shoulders weighing heavier than he lets on.

It would’ve looked clumsy, but it could’ve been right.

You wonder if he’s wondering the same thing. Maybe he is. You hope he is.

When the ceremony ends with a kiss shared between the newlyweds, you wipe away the tears that well up in your eyes. The people around you do the same thing, but they’re doing it for the right reason, out of genuine joy for the happy couple. You don’t think you can say the same for yourself.

Some of the bridesmaids fawn over him. It’s reasonable, you suppose. One tends to do that in the presence of Jeon Jungkook.

You watch as they come up to him one by one to ask him to dance, watch as he politely declines until they’re all stalking away with similar pouts on their faces. You watch him until his eyes lock on you, sitting at a table near the back, nursing a glass of champagne.

He weaves himself with ease through the people making their way to the dance floor. When he’s in front of you, he holds out a hand.

“Dance with me?” he asks, his doe eyes working overtime to lure you in with their sparkles, though you’d rather stay here where you can easily go unnoticed until the night ends. “One song?”

“I don’t know how,” you say, even as you’re taking his hand and standing up.

“I showed you how, remember?”

“That was a long time ago.”

He squeezes you reassuringly. “Just follow my lead,” he says, walking the both of you to the floor. “C’mon.”

Once the music starts, your heels stomp on his feet at least three times before you start finding the beat to move along to. Muscle memory, or whatever, is bullshit. You remember absolutely nothing of what he showed you.

You’re grateful that the song is slow, because it makes it easier for you to follow the beat with your two left feet. He takes one of your hands in his, the other settling on the small of your back, guiding you to move in a steady rhythm.

You feel his mother’s eyes on the two of you, because she must be somewhere nearby, watching you like a hawk. You feel his gaze on your face while you keep yours on the knot of his tie, just trying to keep your composure and to not step on his feet with your heels.

The blur of white that you catch from the periphery of your vision makes you turn your head. Sooji and Junghyun are close by, swaying together slowly to the soft music, both of them glowing with happiness. She must sense your eyes on her, because she lifts her gaze up to meet yours. She smiles at the sight of you and Jungkook, and you smile back, because you don’t know how else to respond to that.

You don’t say it, but you do think it. Your fingers tighten around his hand ever so slightly.

Could that have been us?

If the answer is yes, then it would hurt.

If the answer is no, then it would hurt.

The point of your story is that it’s painful however you choose to look at it. There’s no other way to frame it. It’s just painful, because you’re never going to get any of it back.

You bite your lip, then turn away from the happy couple but you still don’t look at Jungkook. You look at your hand in his, and that’s when you see it.

“How’d you get that?” you ask, gently tracing the inch of slightly raised skin on his knuckles. You never noticed the scar until now.

“It was four years ago, I think? After Taehyung and I almost got into a fight, I went outside and… punched a wall,” he says, wincing as he recalls the memory.

His answer takes you aback. “You and Taehyung got into a fight?”

“Almost,” he corrects. “It was a long time ago. Didn’t they tell you?”

“No, they didn’t say anything. What happened?”

“Nothing happened.”

“If it was really nothing, you wouldn’t have punched a wall.” You frown. It makes you miss a few beats, but the song isn’t what’s important now, even if Jungkook is still trying to steer you back into the dance. “Taehyung isn’t violent. You aren’t violent.”

“I’m serious,” he says finally. “It’s nothing. We were just drunk and stupid.”

You know there must be more to it, that something must have happened or been said to trigger such a reaction from both of them. But you also know that you won’t probably get anything out of Jungkook if he doesn’t want to tell you.

You give up, for now. “Fine. If you say so.” You’ll just have to weasel it out of Jimin later.

The song comes to an end, before another one comes on. If Jungkook remembers that he only asked for one song, maybe he’s counting his blessings that you’re still here and dancing with him, because he doesn’t mention it.

For some reason, you pull your hand away from his, only to slide up his shoulder to lock both of your hands behind his neck. He seems surprised, but he does the same around your waist.

Jungkook’s gaze flickers to your lips briefly, then back to your eyes again. You find yourself doing the same and wonder what he tastes like after all the time you’ve been apart. Is he still as sweet as you remember? You used to tease that it was because of the excessive sugar he put in everything, but you knew it was really just him. The few inches between you are so inviting that it’s practically tempting you to close the gap. You could, easily in fact. Blame it on one too many glasses of champagne later if you want.

He looks younger like this, like the boy you loved, starry eyes and dimpled smile. His shoulders are always the most comfortable resting place, the crook of his neck your long lost home. This is nice, you think, to see him again even though it feels like a fever dream. Memories of your first date, your first kiss, come to life before your eyes so realistically that you could almost touch them.

Loved? That sounds funny to you.

The people you used to be, souls wrapped in innocence, when the world was nothing but the arms of the person you loved. You reach out, and the memories quickly fade from view. The only trace they leave behind is a speck of gold on your fingertips, a memento of charming naiveté for you to tuck neatly away in the corner of your mind, but also a reminder that ah, they only exist in the locket of your heart now. Because he has changed, and you think you must have too. Life, as they say, goes on.

“We made it. Kind of. That’s crazy,” you find yourself saying.

“Did we?”

“You don’t think so?” you chuckle. “We’re in a group chat with the Kim Seokjin who spams it with bad jokes on a daily basis. I’d call that a win.”

That makes him laugh. “If you put it like that, yeah, maybe. Sure.”

Other people might be fooled, but it doesn’t sound at all convincing to you. The light doesn’t really reach his eyes. You bite the inside of your cheek, thinking of how to translate the sudden poignant turn of the moment.

“It isn’t everything you hoped it’d be?” you ask.

His shoulders rise then fall quickly in a second-long shrug. “I thought it would make me feel more… fulfilled. But it doesn’t. Not really.”

The way he says it and the way he’s looking at you makes your heart dive. You understand what he means. You’re good at what you do, and you don’t need reassurance from anyone to recognize that. But sometimes, it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. Doesn’t feel like it’s real, like it’s validated.

When you landed your first big project, even before Yoongi, you were so proud of yourself. You were bursting with excitement but you weren’t happy, and you knew what the reason was. Something was missing that couldn’t be filled, not even with all your friends’ hundreds of messages of encouragement.

It’s beyond stupid, this feeling like your wins amount to nothing at all just because of one person. You wanted him there to celebrate every achievement with you and he wasn’t, and the milestones seemed incomplete without the presence of him. It doesn’t feel like you’ve accomplished anything because this always used to be a dream you thought you’d make come true together.

“It’s lonely,” he concludes.

It sounds like he feels the same way, like he wanted you to be there too.

He suddenly holds you tighter than you think he needs to, like he’s afraid to let go of you. You imagine that he doesn’t want to let go of you, and it makes you feel better for a second. But it doesn’t change the fact that he still did in the end. And he will have to when this ends.

What was the point of this? Why did he bring this upon yourselves when he seems to be as hurt as you are? All of this time, all of these years, lost to what? You could’ve been happy together but instead, you were both lost and miserable.

When the music stops - you lost count of how many songs it’s been - you pull away from him. He looks disappointed, maybe even a little hurt for some reason.

“I’m gonna get some air,” you say, already turning away from him.

“Y/N-”

“I need some air.” Then you’re weaving through the dancing couples despite Jungkook calling your name. How did he manage it? How did he not look back when you called out for him?

You hastily grab your coat on the way out. It’s not going to keep you warm, but that’s not something you’re even remotely concerned with.

It’s everywhere, you feel it down to your bones.

The wind wraps itself tightly around you, intertwining in your hair, slipping through the cracks of your fingers, caressing your face in a chilling touch. You greet the cold like a long lost sister, shivering violently with nostalgia. It was there for you more than your own flesh and blood.

Is that why you like the sea at night? Because it reminds you of mom?

It’s dark out here, barely anything is visible except for a lighthouse sending out light in the quiet of the night. You can’t see much, but you can certainly hear it. You’re not sure if the music is coming from inside the venue, or if it’s still ringing in your ears. It’s probably the latter; you’re too far away to be able to catch the music anyway. But regardless, the tune is quickly drowned out by the sea.

The waves crash violently against the shore like it’s out for blood. There’s a magnetic pull, as if it’s calling out for you. You want to go to it, to reach out and feel the cold outside of your body for once, but you stay there despite your legs itching to stand up and run straight ahead. Into the water and down under.

You could lie down and close your eyes for a moment. The sound of the water, as sharp and brutal as it is, nurtures a part of you somehow.

You just want to be alone. You don’t want to talk to Taehyung, or Jimin, or even Yoongi.

Oh.

Yoongi.

It’s a terrible feeling, knowing that you’re going to hurt Yoongi. Knowing that you’re going to kill this even before it has a chance to truly begin.

Truth be told, you can’t envision a future with Yoongi. There isn’t anything wrong with him, because he’s not the problem here. Yoongi is fun, he’s considerate, he keeps things light on purpose for you, until you’re ready to initiate something more serious. He’s good for you, even Taehyung thinks so.

But you can’t love Yoongi, not in the way that he wants you to. Not more than you love Jungkook.

There you go. Ruining things again.

Did you ruin Jungkook? Is that what happened?

The layers on you are no match for the sea at night. The wind hisses relentlessly, biting at any part of your skin that’s exposed.

It takes you back to that night. Almost everything does, actually.

Maybe that’s why you never even stopped to consider starting anything with anyone, because it always ends. If there’s a beginning, then there will be an inevitable ending. Love isn’t made to last and you aren’t meant to carry love with you. You’ve been abandoned twice. If it happens a third time, it’s a pattern, and then your hypothesis will only be proven. That the problem here is you.

You’d be lying if you said you haven’t wondered when it’ll finally be Taehyung’s turn to leave. He eventually will, right? That one’s gonna hurt.

Then, you’re startled when someone calls your name.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks. The wind and the waves masked the sound of his footsteps walking up to you. When you turn around to face him, his eyes grow worried, almost panicked. “Why are you crying?”

You breathe out irritatedly before you hastily wipe at your cheeks. You didn’t even realize that you’d been crying. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine,” you say, though you both know it’s a lie. “I’m just tired. I’m going up to my room.”

He catches your wrist in a firm grip when you try to walk away. You wish he’d just leave you alone, but you knew he wouldn’t drop it just like that.

“I said I’m fine,” you insist.

“You were crying,” he says. “Did I do something wrong?”

He didn’t, at least not tonight.

God, you really don’t want to do this right now.

“Jungkook,” you warn. “Let go of me.”

You try to free yourself from his grip, hoping that he’ll get the hint and back off for now. Instead, he pulls you into his chest, where you struggle to escape from his hold until you realize your efforts are futile. He takes the wind’s place, wound tightly around you, so tightly that it’s nearly impossible for you to move.

You hiss out his name, but he doesn’t budge.

“Jungkook, can you just- Fuck!”

Damn him.

You realize he’s not giving up, which in turn makes you give up struggling, hoping that if you let this be a moment, then it’ll be something that can pass.

You’re just standing there, letting him hold you, letting yourself be held by the person who broke you in the first place. This feels exactly like where you’re supposed to be - in his arms, with your face hidden in the crook of his neck, his gentle fingers stroking your hair. There’s not a lot that you could do but lean into that feeling the same way you lean into him. One foot in the sand, one foot in the past. A hand on the doorknob of time, wondering if you should look back or look forward.

You want to be alone, but that never used to apply with him.

The wind stills, the sea calms. You remain unmoving too, locked in his embrace. You feel the faint rhythm of his heart, beating faster than you think it should. If you could, you would bottle this moment up and live there forever.

I miss you, you think.

I miss you.

Then your arms are around him too. It only makes him hold you tighter, and all you can think about is how much you miss him, how painful it is to miss him, how you feel like you’re being pulled apart at the seams from the weight of missing him.

Fuck.

Can you pretend that the last few years never happened? Is there a higher power that would allow you to go back to the night before that wretched Wednesday, when everything was still perfect? Hundreds of days of your life, can you pretend that it was just one long nightmare? When you wake up, you’ll be back in his humble apartment, tangled up together in his bed. Warm sunlight, your silken youth, and him. It was all you ever needed.

Again with the devastating familiarity. The city, the beach. His mother’s warmth that always made you reminisce about your own mother’s coldness. How Jungkook used to find you in moments like this and just stayed by your side until the dejection passed. He understood that he could never understand it the way you did.

You hear yourself sniffle, then you feel him press a kiss into your hair. Home is comforting.

Oh, you never want to leave.

You don’t want to leave, and that’s terrifying.

You allow yourself to stay there for one more second - one endless second - so you could commit to memory what it’s like to be with him. Back and forth. It’s always so easy to fall into him.

Jungkook releases you when he feels you loosen after a while, and you reluctantly meet his eyes as he tilts your head to face him. His fingers cradling your jaw, how warm and delicate they feel on your skin.

You swallow thickly, your mind going blank. He’s the only person you see, the only one that matters. His eyes flicker south, and even then you don’t make any move to run away, despite his loose grip on your waist telling you that you can if you want to.

You told him that it would pass, and maybe for him, it will. For him, it’s the city and the moment, making him feel like he’s caught up in a page that he’s turned over a long time ago. He was fine with leaving, and he’s been fine without you. It will pass for him, as much as it hurts you to admit it.

But not for you. For you, there’s only him. There’s nobody else but him. It’s always been him, no matter how hard you try to tell yourself that there will be another person you can love as much as you love Jungkook. You might only be a page, perhaps even a chapter, in the story of his life, but he’s your entire book. He’s volume after volume after volume, until he takes up the whole shelf and leaves no room for anything else, not even for yourself.

And now here he is - at the biggest turn in your career.

He’s a bad blood cell you can’t ever get rid of.

You’ll never be able to truly let go of him. How could you? When you truly love someone, those feelings will carry on forever. They’ll always have a piece of your heart despite an ending. When you look back on a certain period in your life, you’ll think to yourself, You’ll always be a part of me. I loved you then.

But Jungkook is a force of nature. He has your whole heart.

Years and years from now, when you look back on your life, you know you’ll see him everywhere. Even when you’re old and gray, and when faces all just blur together in a mosaic of broken memories and long lost youth, you know you’ll still remember him - the person you loved, the one whom you let slip through your fingers. The great love of your life when you were young.

Sometimes, you regret that day. You can’t help feeling like it was your fault too. Maybe you should’ve tried harder to keep him. You should’ve fought harder, should’ve held onto him instead of standing there and watching him leave.

He lit the match, and you let the house burn. It takes two to tango, two to break a heart.

You’re quick to let people leave. Oh, how you wish it could be that easy to let them go too.

It isn’t until your eyes mimic the flicker of his gaze that he leans in. You meet him halfway. For the first time in years, you feel like you could breathe, truly breathe. It’s achingly slow, like neither of you can believe that this is happening.

You sigh against his mouth when his tongue brushes your bottom lip, slips past the seal to devour you. It feels like a perfect dream. You could stay in this bubble with him forever, pretend that you’re the only two people who exist in the world and there’s nothing else, no one else, waiting for you in a city that seems so far away right now. The thought of him never left you, not even for a second. He’s always been with you everywhere you go, no matter what you do, always in the back of your mind.

He tastes like your youth, like remembrance. He kisses you like he’s still yours when deep down you know that you’re still his. The hand on your jaw is gentle but firm, and it makes you repeat a thought, I miss you.

Then a feeling, I love you.

Not then. Now.

I love you now.

I love you even when I shouldn’t. Even when it hurts. Even when you leave me. Even when you don’t love me more than I love you. If there comes a day where you love somebody else, I will still love you then. There will never be another person for me but you. My first and only love.

When he pulls away, you think it’s too quick, even though your lungs are grateful for the breath that you instantly inhale. You stare at his lips like you’re in a daze, mesmerized, wanting to chase them again. You don’t even know how you have it in yourself to utter these next words, but you hear your own voice saying them anyway.

You’re holding onto him now. Doesn’t that count?

“Let’s…” Your fingers tighten on the collar of his dress shirt. “Let’s go up to your room.”

note (2): so... what do we think?? will they?? won't they?? 😵 stay tuned for obs7.5 which will be dropping 29.09.2023! also i'm gonna pause obs muse asks for a little bit! 😬

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kwanisms · 2 years

Text

Truth Comes Out - h.jisung

➥ dom!Han × sub!Reader summary: Since discovering the stranger she hooked up with is her best friend's roommate, Y/N has been actively avoiding Han. wc: 13.1k (I'm so, so sorry lol) warnings: afab reader, adult dialogue, alcohol consumption, sexual content (minors dni!): heavy making out, fingering, handjob, marking, a LOT of dirty talk, pet names (baby, baby girl, babe, sugar, etc), orgasm denial (m receiving), sexting/phone sex, mutual masturbation, mutual pining (they are really desperate and whiny for each other), Han is very vocal, it’s clear Han and Y/N both like each other a lot but Y/N struggles a lot with her feelings. I think that’s all but let me know if I missed anything! a/n: back by popular demand, here is the second part to Kinkuary 17! Tbh, i had this planned when I first started writing part one. I knew I wanted to leave it on a cliffhanger and make it into three parts. I had a lot of fun outlining and writing the party scene. Let me know what you think! I love feedback and hearing your thoughts! As always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. banner made by me. I do not allow reposts or translations of my works. All my works are ©️ kwanisms.

Permanent taglist: @yoonguurt @wonderfulshinee @candidupped @dejavernon @violagoth @kosmoreads @tigermoonbiss @katsukis1wife Stray Kids taglist: @cixrosie @hoeforcheol @beomgyusbabygirl @lovestayskzxx @flowerboykun @smhlino Tagging @songgmingii @j1s-babygirl @chai-papa @klysaibabes @lovethatchanussy @nokacchan @dramaticnobody @youremytearr @replay-by-shinee @myprwttyhan @licklix because they asked for part two on my first part. Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. Send an ask to be tagged in part 3. Part 1 // Part 3

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“Why can’t you come over tonight again?” Felix asked as you flipped the potato pancakes over. “Because,” you said as you glanced down at your phone lying on the counter where you could see your best friend lying on his bed, holding his phone over his head as he watched you cook.

“I have some paperwork due,” you answered simply.

“And you can’t do it another day because…?” Your best friend asked, eyebrow raising. “Because my boss changed the due date again.”

Felix groaned, rolling his eyes. “Your boss sucks.” You snorted in laughter. "Tell me about it."

“I miss you though,” he continued, rolling onto his side. “Aww, is this you confessing your undying love to me?” You cooed, laughing when he scowled in disgust. “Ew, fuck you,” he laughed. “Uh, no thanks,” you retorted, making him roll his eyes again.

“Now that we’re settled into the apartment, I was hoping you’d come over and meet Jisung,” Felix murmured, making your shoulders stiffen. Thankfully, Felix didn’t notice or he didn’t comment on it.

“And I will,” you answered. “I just need to power through this bullshit my boss dumped on me.” Felix nodded understandingly. “You should quit that job and come work with me,” he said suddenly, making you laugh loudly.

“Hard pass.” Felix scowled at your response.

“I’ll have you know my company is a lot better than yours,” he said sternly. You rolled your eyes. “If we worked together, nothing would ever, ever get done,” you retorted, watching as your best friend considered your response.

“Yeah,” he answered finally, nodding. “You’re right.”

The timer above your oven went off and you rushed to turn it off. “That’s time,” Felix said jokingly as you returned to him. “Dinner’s ready, that means I gotta go.” Felix pouted but sighed. “Okay, just promise that you’ll clear a day for our housewarming party,” he said as you picked up your phone. “Yeah, yeah,” you replied, waving your hand. “We’ll see.”

It hurt you to lie to your best friend but it wasn’t like you could just come out and tell him why you’ve been avoiding visiting his apartment.

Ever since you’d learned that the man you’d invited into your home, the one you met on a BDSM discord server, was his roommate, you’d been vehemently avoiding going over to Felix’s new apartment.

It was bad enough that Han was his roommate and you’d slept with him not knowing he was friends with Felix, but your best friend was trying desperately to get you and Han to meet for whatever reason.

You’d been pretty good at making up excuses not to go over but you were running out of them and you knew sooner or later you’d have to go over but you opted for later rather than sooner.

Of course, he hadn't given up inviting you over to his apartment and was adamant on introducing you to his roommate. You'd done your best to turn him down, coming up with excuse after excuse, inviting him over to your place instead.

"Come on Y/N!" Felix whined over the phone. You could almost picture him, throwing his arms around lazily and dramatically. You let out a deep sigh. "I don't know Lix," you answered, chewing on your bottom lip. "I don't really want to stay in."

"Perfect!" Felix said excitedly and you imagined him with puppy ears, eyes shining with excitement. "Cause we're going out! That new club opened up down the road from my building and the hype has died down so we shouldn't have a problem getting in!"

Suddenly you wished you said you wanted to stay home.

"Oh? Who else is going?" you asked, feigning interest. "Just us," Felix answered. "I promise!"

Hearing this made your mind up for you. "Okay, that sounds fun," you replied. "Do you want to meet there?"

"Nah. Just come here. Then we can go together. I'm the only one here. Han went out with some of his friends to another club. He has a very specific vibe," Felix explained.

Your eyebrow arched suspiciously. "Aren't your friends his?" you asked, suddenly wondering if he was lying to you.

"Not all of them," Felix explained. "He went with some of his friends from work." You felt your shoulders relax. 'Then it should be safe.'

"Okay," you finally said. "I'm in."

“Yes!” Felix said excitedly. “I promise, it’ll just be the two of us.”

Felix went on to thank you profusely, telling you to be at his place around seven-ish and you'd do a small pregame before heading down the street. You hung up and started getting ready immediately, hopping in the shower first.

After getting dressed and applying some makeup, you checked yourself over in your mirror that hung by your door. It was a simple look. A black skirt that flared out and reached halfway down your thighs paired with a white long sleeved crop top.

You'd styled your hair and paired your outfit with a black clutch wristlet and black pumps. Felix hated when you wore heels around him but this wasn't about him you decided. It was about you getting out of the house and spending time with your best friend.

The trip to Felix's building was as it usually was, a bus ride and short walk and you found yourself in the lobby, greeted by a security guard who checked your name off a list. He directed you to the guest elevator and said he would send you up.

This building was much newer than yours and much more state of the art. You couldn't even imagine how much it cost to live here. Felix had a pretty great job so you suspected Han must have a pretty damn good one as well.

Inside the elevator was unlike anything you'd seen. There were no buttons save for an emergency stop and call button. No buttons labeled for the floors. When the doors shut, the elevator started to move and you suddenly understood what the guard meant by he'd "send you up."

The ride to the 10th floor was quick and uneventful as you arrived. You checked your reflection once more before stepping off the elevator and were greeted by loud bass. One of Felix's neighbors must be having a party.

As you walked down towards the end of the hall, the bass grew louder and louder. You found the correct door and knocked softly. Felix didn't answer so you tried again, albeit a little louder this time. 'Might not be able to hear me over the neighbor's party.'

The door was thrown open and you were greeted by the loud bass and a face you hadn't seen in a long time.

"Y/N!" Hyunjin said, smiling and wrapping you in a tight one armed hug, pulling you inside the very loud, very crowded, apartment. It took your brain a moment to register what was happening. Felix said you were going to a club.

He said it would just be you and yet here was almost every person in his life and some you didn't even recognize. Hyunjin led you further into the apartment and to the kitchen island where there was a spread unlike anything you'd ever seen at any of the parties you'd been to before.

You were going to kill Felix.

Bottles on bottles of liquor, some half empty but full ones set up behind, ready to take their place. Red cups and plastic shot glasses were stacked and ready to be used. On the dining room table was an impressive amount of food.

"What are you drinking?" Hyunjin asked over the bass as he leaned in to hear you. "Uh, I'm okay for now," you answered, shaking your head. Hyunjin shook his head. "Nonsense, I'll make you something."

Despite your protests, Hyunjin grabbed a clean cup and started mixing something while you looked around the crowded apartment.

You recognized a group of Felix's closest friends and sitting among them was your best friend, laughing at something one of his friends said. You narrowed your eyes as Hyunjin finished making your drink and handed it to you. "That's the best one I know how to make. Sorry if it's a little strong," Hyunjin said, giving you a wink.

You raised the glass to your face, sniffing to discern the ingredients but all you could smell was fruit and alcohol. You took a sip and winced slightly. "You're gonna kill me," you coughed, making Hyunjin laugh, his eyes closing. "Not kill. Just get you drunk!"

You felt his hand on your back, leading you through the party goers and over to where Felix was sitting on a black sofa next to Ryujin with Changbin on the other side, an arm draped across the back of the sofa behind Lia. As you approached, Hyunjin yelled over the music. "Look who I found standing outside!"

Everyone turned to look at the two of you, several faces lighting up as Felix's friends greeted you. Felix looked up and his smile fell at the look you threw him as you hugged Chris. "Wow, you look amazing!" Chris said, looking you over.

"Doesn't she look incredible?" He asked, turning to Seungmin who was sitting next to Ryujin. "She always looks amazing," he said as he stood up, moving past Chris to greet you with a hug. "Good to see you, Y/N," he said in your ear.

When he sat back down, your attention zeroed in on Felix as he got up quickly. "Hey," he said, pulling you into a hug. "You lied to me," you hissed, digging your knuckles into his side discreetly.

Felix winced, playing it off to anyone who noticed. "I know, I'm sorry," he replied as the group went back to their conversation, Hyunjin blending in smoothly as he took Felix's empty spot on the sofa.

"But you kept coming up with excuses to not come over!" Felix explained as you took a sip of your drink. "I've been putting off this house warming party for a week, trying to pick a day when you'd be free. I can't break in my new home without my best friend."

You glanced around nervously. "It's not like I'd be missed," you murmured. "How many people did you invite?" You looked up as Felix did the mental calculation. "I can't remember but a lot of these people were invited by Jisung," Felix explained, his face lighting up.

"Speaking of!" he said suddenly, grabbing your free hand and pulling you through the crowd. "Wait, Felix," you hissed as he dragged you away from the group and towards a room just off the main living area.

In what you assumed was the den, a table was set up for pong and the people surrounding were eagerly cheering on the players.

Your eyes darted around, landing on the one person you'd been avoiding this whole time.

He was standing at the end with the person you could only assume was his teammate. He looked just as good as the last time you saw him. He'd dressed for the occasion, donning a plain black loose fitted tee, tucked into black leather pants. He'd put on a simple silver chain necklace.

Felix dragged you over as Han picked up his drink watching his teammate and taking a sip.

Han looked up from his cup as Minho picked up one of the small white plastic balls and aimed. "You got this, Min," Han shouted over the music, clapping his friend on the shoulder. "Yah, don't do that!" Minho shouted as he narrowed his eyes.

Han caught sight of Felix moving through the crowd towards him and smiled. He was accompanied by a girl but Han couldn't see her face. Perhaps this was the infamous best friend? Had she finally agreed to show up? Han turned back as Minho took the shot.

His aim was true as managed to bounce the ball in one of the three cups remaining on the opposing side. The entire crowd erupted into applause and cheers as Han laughed at the look on his opponents' faces. Yunho was shocked as Mingi begrudgingly picked up the cup and chugged the contents.

"This ain't over yet!" Yunho shouted, pointing at Han who laughed.

"Han!" He turned as he heard his name came from behind him, feeling a hand on his shoulder. He turned to find Felix standing behind him with the same girl attempting to hide out of sight. He smiled at his roommate before Felix spoke.

"I wanted to introduce you to my best friend!"

Han's smile widened. 'She finally made it!'

"Oh?" Han asked, trying and failing to conceal his excitement. "She's finally here?" Felix nodded, turning towards the girl behind him.

"What are you-? Stop hiding," Felix laughed as he put his arm around the girl and pulled her forward. "Y/N, this is my roommate, Han Jisung."

"Han, this is Y/N."

Han had heard so much about his roommate's best friend from the man himself and was beyond excited to finally meet her so he was expecting anyone but… you.

His eyes widened, lips parting as he felt his stomach nearly fall out of his ass. He never expected to see you, the girl he'd hooked up with and then been ghosted by, again. He was so engrossed in his own thoughts that when you looked up at him with a pained expression, it made his heart sting.

It was almost as if you were sorry. Or maybe it was shame? Or perhaps even embarrassment? Han couldn't be entirely sure but one thing was certain.

He was fucked.

When your eyes met Han's you could see his thoughts moving at the speed of light. He was running through every possible scenario. Felix looked expectantly at his roommate, waiting for a response.

"Dude, you okay?" Felix asked, drawing both yours and Han's attention. Han finally snapped out of it and tore his gaze from your face. "Yeah, sorry," he said sheepishly. "Oh, isn't she a cute one," Han's pong partner said suddenly, smirking at you.

"I'd be speechless too," he added, nudging Han. "She's gorgeous." You felt your cheeks burn at the stranger's compliment. He leaned forward, holding his hand out which you took hesitantly. "I'm Minho," he announced over the music. "Y/N," you answered, shaking his hand firmly. "Y/N? God, even your name is cute."

Your cheeks burned even more at the attention Minho was giving you. You glanced at Han who was side-eyeing his friend with… 'wait is that jealousy? Is he jealous?' Felix wrapped an arm protectively around your shoulders. "Back off, Min," he warned jokingly.

"Oh?" Minho asked, grabbing his cup and downing the rest of his drink. "Is she spoken for?" he asked, smirking at Felix who shook his head. "What? No! She's my best friend. We're like siblings," Felix added. Minho's smirk softened into a smile.

"I'm just teasing. We all know you only have eyes for Momo," Minho said, making those around you snicker as Felix tried to defend himself. Minho turned his attention on you once more, leaning in. "Could you be a doll and get me a refill? Pretty please?" he asked, tucking a stray of hair behind your ear.

"Yah, Minho!" Han suddenly shouted. "She's not a server," he continued as several pairs of eyes fell on him. "Yeah, get your own drink," Felix added. Minho sighed, turning to take his cup from you. "Pause the game," he called but you snatched the cup from him.

Anything to escape Han's gaze.

"I'll get it," you said quickly, ignoring the way both Felix and Han eyed you. Minho merely smiled, reaching up to stroke your cheek. "Good girl," he said before turning back to the game.

You turned away and darted through the crowd, missing the way Felix looked impressed by both Minho's and your boldness but Han looked downright furious.

You made your way through the crowd to the kitchen and started to fix a drink for Minho, shaking off your apprehension and nerves. You felt a body lightly bump into you and looked up to see Jeongin smiling sheepishly at you.

"Innie! How are you?" you asked, smiling at him.

"I'm good," he answered as he watched you mix the drink. "Who is that for?" he asked, nodding at the cup. "Minho? I think he’s Han- Jisung's friend," you answered as you picked up the now full cup.

Jeongin's eyebrow raised as he watched you. "Oh? Didn't know you were making drinks for Minho," he teased, prompting you to pinch his arm.

"It's stuffy in there and he asked me to," you explained as you wove through the crowd, Jeongin on your heels.

Inside the den, the previous game had finished with Han and Minho winning and now facing new opponents: Felix and Changbin.

You returned to Minho who turned and smiled as you handed him his cup. "It might be a little strong," you said as he took a sip. "Jeongin distracted me," you added, throwing a playfully dirty look at the culprit who merely smiled at you.

Minho shook his head. "No, it's perfect, thank you," he answered, setting it down and sending a wink your way. Han looked from his friend to you, meeting your gaze. His expression was hard to decipher but he soon turned away to start the game.

You turned to Jeongin, talking with him as the new round started. "So, how's college?" you asked. He shrugged before answering. "Expensive, stressful, and probably going to put me in debt for the rest of my life." You laughed loudly at his reply.

"Sounds about right."

Han couldn't stop himself from glancing in your direction every time you laughed at something Jeongin said. It was clear you knew the younger man and that was probably thanks to Felix.

"Who's your friend, Innie?" A voice asked. When Han looked over, he noticed one of Jeongin's tall friends- Beomgyu was it?- had slid up to the two of you and currently had one arm resting on Jeongin's shoulder, smiling at you. "This is Y/N," Jeongin introduced.

"Nice to meet you Y/N. I'm Beomgyu," he said, wincing as one of his friends bounced up next to him and behind you. "I'm Kai!" he said excitedly, making you laugh.

God, your laugh. Han loved it. He hadn't heard it since that day and hearing it now was like music to his ears. He wasn't lying when he had told Felix how much he missed you. Of course, Felix didn't know it was you he missed. To Felix it was Baby.

His eyes trailed over your body, remembering how it felt to have his hands on it. He remembered how you reacted to him, almost as if your body was made to fit with his. He'd thought of nothing but you since then. Whenever he needed to get off, he imagined the way you looked bent over, restrained, and at his mercy.

He'd looked at the pictures he'd taken that day over and over again. True to his promise, none of them had your face in them, something he missed greatly. He missed your eyes and the way they looked at him as he ate you out. The way your lips looked and felt.

And your tongue? God did he miss your tongue.

He'd tried to reach out, messaging you on both instagram and discord but his messages went unanswered. He didn't really question it when you disappeared from the server a few days after hooking up. You'd been interested in anonymous sex and you'd gotten that from him so your membership in the server wasn't needed. He understood that.

But when you didn't answer his direct messages, he started to wonder if maybe he'd done something wrong. Offended or hurt you in some way that you didn't speak up about. Maybe you weren't serious when you said you'd have to invite him back over.

Worse case scenario, it wasn't as good for you as it was for him.

Han was snapped out of his thoughts as the crowd on the other side of the table cheered. He looked down and saw one of the cups in front of him had a little white ball that previously wasn't there.

Looking up, he saw Felix celebrating. Han glanced at Minho who regarded him with a confused expression. Han shook his head and picked up the cup, downing the liquid inside.

As he did, his eyes shifted to the side where you were engrossed in a deep conversation with Beomgyu, Kai, Jeongin and a couple other people he vaguely knew. The coil in the pit of his stomach tightened, a sour feeling bubbling up. He recognized this feeling.

It was jealousy.

"You're so cute!" Beomgyu cooed, cupping your cheeks gently, laughing as you pushed him off playfully. "Don't tease her!" Jeongin whined, trying to shield you from his friend.

"Ooh, this is a good song!" one of Beomgyu's friends, whose name you learned was Soobin, said perking up. Another of Beomgyu's friends, Yeonjun, who had squeezed into the circle between you and Beomgyu, smiled as he looked at you.

"Do you wanna dance?" he asked, catching you off guard.

"Aww I was gonna ask her that!" Kai pouted, making Yeonjun chuckle. "I'll only keep her for a bit, Kai," he offered before turning back to you. "So how about it?" he asked, tilting his head.

Jeongin took your glass. "I'll hold this," he said with a smirk as you glanced around. "O-okay," you answered. Another one of Beomgyu's friends, Taehyun, held his hand up. "If you don't want to, it's okay. Yeonjun can be kind of…" he trailed off.

"Kind of what?" Yeonjun asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

You shook your head. "It's okay, Tae," you answered. "I'll dance with you," you added, looking at Yeonjun who lit up. He took your hand and led you out of the room. You were so focused on following him that you didn't notice the look on Han's face.

One dance turned into two and then three before you finally had to stop and get something to drink. You promised Kai you would dance with him after getting a new drink since Jeongin finished yours.

You were looking through the bottles, trying to find the same stuff Hyunjin had thrown together, half tempted to ask him to make it again when you felt a hand on your lower back.

You looked up from the counter to find Han standing next to you. You suddenly felt nervous in his presence as sparks erupted under your skin where the warmth of his hand was bleeding through your top.

"Hey," he said as he smiled at you. You glanced around nervously before looking back down at the counter. "Hey."

Han watched as you mixed something together, avoiding his gaze. He'd come for a fresh bottle of beer but found himself leaning against the counter while watching you work.

"Look," he finally said, breaking the awkward tension between you. "I'm sorry," you blurted out, making him freeze. You looked up at him finally, finding him already looking at you.

"For not responding to your messages," you clarified. "I've just been… off," you continued. Han shook his head, giving you a smile.

"You don't have to explain," he said, moving to stand closer. "If you wanted it to be a one time thing, that's fine. That was the deal, right?" He asked, one hand moving to rest on the small of your back. 'Is… is that what he thinks?'

"Han, I-" he cut you off before you could finish. "It's okay. We can just let it go. If you'd rather pretend it didn't happen-"

It was your turn to cut him off. "I don't want that." Han's eyes widened. "Y-you don't?" he asked softly, voice barely audible over the music. "I don't want to pretend it didn't happen," you repeated.

Your eyes met, staring at each other in the middle of a party like no one else was even there. It was like you had tunnel vision and all you could see was him. Like he was the only thing that mattered.

Han's eyes dipped down to your lips and back up to meet your gaze. Your eyes did the same. It was clear what you both wanted and you would have given in if it weren't for the arm that suddenly went around your shoulders.

"There you two are!" Felix said loudly as he draped an arm over both yours and Han's shoulders. "I was wondering where my favorite girl and the best roommate I've ever had went," he added, smiling at you. It was clear he'd had a little too much to drink and was more than tipsy.

You smiled sheepishly. "Yeah," you said, holding up your cup. "I just needed a drink." Han forced a smile, clearly annoyed that Felix had interrupted the moment between the two of you. "Well, now that you've got it, come join us," Felix said, giving you a slight shake.

Han wanted so desperately to ask Felix to give the two of you a second but he didn't want to draw attention or arouse suspicion so he begrudgingly followed along as Felix led you away from the drink station and into a circle around the sofa.

He watched as Felix pulled you down to sit between him and Jeongin, leaving Han to sit across from you in an empty space on the ottoman next to Chris who had Sana perched on his lap. "What's this about?" Changbin asked from his spot between Lia and Seungmin. "You summoned us here."

Felix shook his head. "I’m just the messenger," he answered. "You can ask them why," he added, nodding at Chris and Sana. "Well, mainly me," Sana said, holding up her hand. "I thought we could throw it back and play a classic party game," she explained.

"I swear to god," Yeonjun groaned as he leaned on the couch behind you. "If this is Truth or Dare, I'm leaving right now." Momo, who was sitting next to Chris and Sana chimed in. "It is Truth or Dare," she started.

"But with a twist."

Han tried to listen to Momo as she spoke but his eyes were focused on you and the way Yeonjun loomed over your figure. You didn't seem to mind, even when he briefly massaged your shoulders while Momo explained the rules.

"It's simple. On your turn, you chose either truth or dare," Momo explained, Sana chiming in halfway through. "And if you don't want to do the one you pick, you have to drink," she added. "So everyone playing needs drinks." There was a mild scramble as those without drinks got up to get refills. "What if you aren't playing?" Jeongin asked, raising his hand.

"Then get out of the circle," Sana said with a shrug. Jeongin apologized and got up, leaving the space beside you empty. Han was tempted to take it but he wasn't fast enough and someone else dropped onto the sofa beside you.

"I don't think we've met," the man who had just dropped into the seat next to you said, drawing your attention. Han didn't know him personally, only that he was friends with both Yeonjun and Changbin. "I'm Wooyoung." The man, Wooyoung, held his hand out.

A polite smile crossed your face as you took his hand. "Y/N," you replied shortly. Yeonjun behind you flicked Wooyoung's forehead. "Leave her alone, Woo. She's not going home with you," he saw in an annoyed tone. Wooyoung held his hand over his forehead and whined. "Well, she might have if you hadn't interjected!"

You smiled politely again at Wooyoung. "No," you replied, shaking your head. "I wouldn't have." Everyone around you burst into laughter and Wooyoung grumbled, whining under his breath until Yeonjun kicked him out of the spot and took it from him as the rest of the players settled down with their drinks.

Han recognized San as Wooyoung moved to sit beside him, Yeosang watching from outside the circle with Jongho. Yeosang was one of his department leads, Jongho working with them as well.

His attention was drawn back to the circle as the coffee table was cleared and used as the pedestal for the bottle and Momo started the game. She spun the bottle, waiting until it stopped landing on…

“Lee Chan!” She said, pointing to the man sitting to the left of Yunho. “Uh, present,” he said, a slight question in his tone. “Truth or dare?” Momo asked, waiting patiently for him to respond.

“Uh, sorry, I’m pretty a boring guy. Truth.”

Han zoned out as Momo asked her question, his eyes landing on you sitting wedged between Felix and Yeonjun, the latter who was leaning in, whispering in your ear. You giggled as he spoke before looking mildly scandalized and slapping his arm while he laughed.

It made the ugly beast in his chest surface, growling angrily.

The game quickly progressed into a game of daring people to kiss each other before the bottle landed on Felix, having been spun by Yeonjun. "Dare," Felix said, sitting forward to look around you at Yeonjun. "Dare you say?"

"Yeah, and make it a good one," Felix answered. "None of this kissing shit. That's so cliché." Several people shouted in protest, quieted only by Yeonjun holding his hand up. "Okay," he said, scooting forward to sit on the edge of his seat.

"Your dare comes with a choice. You have to give a lap dance," Yeonjun began, smirking devilishly as the circle laughed and whooped. Yeonjun held his hand up. "I haven't finished!"

The group fell silent waiting for the rest of the dare.

"You have to give a lap dance to either your roommate," he continued, all eyes turning to Han who chuckled nervously. "Or," Yeonjun said, turning to look at Felix. "Your best friend."

Han felt his throat go dry as all eyes fell on you sitting beside Felix who was contemplating his choices.

"I guess I'll pick Y/N," Felix said, wincing when you slapped his arm. "I wouldn't be able to look Han in the face afterwards if I picked him," he explained as you glared at him angrily.

One of their dining chairs appeared and was placed in the circle as the coffee table was pushed aside. Felix got to his feet and held out his hand for you to take. Your face flushed as you reluctantly took his hand, letting him pull you up and lead you over to the chair.

You took the seat, looking around nervously as Yeonjun held onto your drink, the latter smirking as the show started. Han found himself looking away as the others laughed, some covering their eyes and a few of the girls screaming.

Luckily Felix didn't draw it out too long, laughing as he pulled you up from the chair and pulled you into a hug while you hid your face in your hands.

Felix whispered in your ear as he hugged you, no doubt apologizing for what he just put you through. As the two of you sat back down, the bottle was spun by Ryujin on the other side of Yeonjun.

Han watched as it spun around, slowing before it stopped completely, the opening of the bottle facing away from Han. He looked up to see it had landed on you instead. You were unable to hide your surprise.

“Y/N! Finally,” Ryujin said excitedly as she waited for you to choose. Your response was swift, picking Truth after that last Dare had clearly traumatized you.

Ryujin looked deep in thought as she chose her question carefully.

"Hmmm, okay!” She clapped her hands together before pointing at you with both of her hands. “Have you ever slept with anyone in the circle?"

The question caught the attention of everyone in the group, especially Han. He wondered at that moment if you'd slept with any of Felix's friends before and if you had, did Felix know?

Han half expected you to take a drink from your cup but was surprised when you answered instead with a nod. The uproar was almost instantaneous, several people demanding to know who.

Ryujin nodded, a mischievous look on her face. "Of course, of course,” she said while nodding. “We should have expected you and Felix to have hooked up at some point," she said nonchalantly with a shrug.

At her accusation, you and Felix shook your heads quickly, both protesting in unison. "Absolutely not!" You said, sounding mortified. Felix was just as adamant.

"No really, we've never had sex. The only sleeping we do together is taking naps," he explained. You nodded profusely in agreement. Ryujin turned to look at you. “If it wasn’t Felix, then who was it?” She asked. Han noticed how you froze at the question.

You chuckled nervously and passed your drink to Yeonjun. "Uhh… I need to use the bathroom," you said, getting to your feet, ignoring the question entirely.

Once you disappeared, Han heard Sana speak.

"You're for real? You've really never slept with Y/N?" She asked. Han turned to look at Felix who shook his head again. "Really. She's my best friend. I don't see her that way," he answered. Yeonjun suddenly spoke up, turning to look at Felix.

"I certainly see her that way," he said, ignoring the whistles around him. "Do you care if I-" Han had heard enough.

"Wait, where are you going?" Momo asked as he got to his feet. "Bathroom," he grumbled. "Y/N's in there," Sana reminded him.

"I have an en-suite," he simply said as he set his beer on the end table and walked away from the group. He wound through the crowd, making his way through the apartment. It was true, he did have an en-suite bathroom but that's not where he was going.

The bass was muffled surprisingly well with the bathroom door shut as you washed your hands under the sink. Glancing up at your reflection, you sighed, taking in your tired eyes.

'Maybe I should go home… I think I've been here long enough. Surely Felix doesn't need me here now.'

Your internal monologue was interrupted by a knocking on the door.

Jumping slightly, you sighed and called out. "Hang on!" You finished rinsing the soap off your hands and shut the water off, drying your hands with the towel as another series of knocks sounded, this time much louder than before. 'Fucking impatient, drunk people.'

You unlocked the door and were in the process of opening it when the door was forced open and shut quickly, leaving you face to face with…

"Han?" you asked as he locked the door.

He only looked at you for a second before he closed the distance between you, hands grabbing your hips as his lips crashed against yours, guiding you back to the sink counter. Your hands grabbed his shirt, holding on as he pushed you against the counter.

"Fuck, I missed you," he growled, grinding against you as his lips trailed down your neck. "H-Han," you whispered in a shaky breath.

"We can't. Not here," you mumbled as his lips moved back up, stopping by your ear. Han didn't seem to hear you. Or he didn't care.

"You're all I've been able to think about," he continued, kissing along your jaw as his hands wandered, one moving to the small of your back, the other sliding down to your thighs, nails digging into your skin.

"Han," you warned, your voice wavering as his lips brushed over your pulse point.

"I just want to turn you around and bury myself inside you."

You let out a soft moan as Han's hand moved up your thigh, sneaking under your skirt and finding your lace covered clit easily. His fingers pushed the fabric of your panties against you and you knew he could feel the wetness that seeped through the material.

"Shit," he groaned, moving both hands to push you up to sit on the counter, fingers tracing over your slit. "You're so wet."

Your hands moved, one tangling in his hair as you pulled him to meet your lips in a searing kiss, his thumb pulling your panties aside and fingers seeking your wet heat, sinking two fingers inside your warm cunt with a sigh. You, on the other hand, were already a writhing mess as he began to pump his fingers in and out of you.

It was slow at first, but soon he was moving at a steady pace, curling his fingers up against the soft spongy spot inside you. "H-Han," you moaned, your free hand moving to undo his pants, slipping your fingers under the waistband of his underwear.

Your fingers wrapped around his hardened length, making him gasp out a moan, eyes fluttering shut as you started to pump your hand along his cock in time with the thrust of his fingers. "Oh fuck, baby," he moaned. "You're gonna kill me."

Your lips found his again in a sloppy kiss as you both tried to get the other off desperately. "Shit. You're so wet and tight. Just like last time," Han whispered, brow furrowing as your hand squeezed him firmly. "Bet you'd take my cock just as well, too."

Your cheeks burned, face flushing as he spoke. "Would you like that, baby?" Han asked softly. "You want me to bend you over the sink and fuck you where everyone could overhear?"

You moaned a little louder, walls clenching around his fingers as you spread your legs a little wider. You felt his thumb drag over your clit, rubbing circles in time with his thrusts. "Hannie," you mewled as his fingers pushed you closer and closer to the edge. "So close."

Han moaned, hips bucking into your hand as you lazily stroked him. "You gonna cum for me, baby girl?" he cooed. "Gonna be my good little girl and cum for me?"

You whined in response, knees and thighs squeezing his waist as your orgasm came rolling over you. "That's it," Han whispered, fucking you through your high with his fingers as you continued to jerk him off.

"Keep going, baby. You're doing so good," Han whispered, his voice taking on a much more breathless and whiny tone.

A loud knock at the door pulled you both out of your bubble and you suddenly remembered you were in the middle of a housewarming party at your best friend's apartment.

And here you were, hooking up with his roommate again.

Had you not learned your lesson?

"Sorry," you called out trying to keep your voice stead even though Han's fingers were still stuffed inside your pussy. "I might be a minute. Not feeling well." A shuffling outside the door indicated whoever it was had left. "We're gonna get caught," you hissed at Han, pulling your hand from his underwear and pushing his hand away from your sex before you hopped off the counter.

Han's hands turned you to face the mirror, grabbing your hips and grinding against your ass. "We shouldn't be doing this," you moaned as his hands moved, sliding up to grope your chest over your shirt as he continued to grind his erection into your ass, his lips ghosting over your neck. "Please baby," he whispered.

His hands moved back down to your hips, holding you still as he rutted against you, lips continuing to kiss your neck, teeth grazing your skin. You braced yourself against the sink, fully ready to let Han take you from behind when there was a loud thump against the bathroom door. "Fuck," you hissed. "We can't do this."

You turned around, Han catching you and taking your lips in a breathtaking kiss, one hand holding your hip, the other cupping your cheek tenderly. "My room is just down the hall," he mumbled but you shook your head. "I'm sorry," you answered. "S'too risky."

Han's lips pressed against yours repeatedly, small pleas slipping out between as he begged you.

"Please" kiss. "Baby. I'll be quick" kiss. "I promise" kiss. "Please baby" kiss. "Please?"

You shook your head again. "I'm so sorry," you whispered, pushing him back. Han pulled you closer, kissing you again. "Please stay, Y/N," he murmured. "Don't go." You kept shaking your head.

"I can't... We can't… I-I have to go."

Deciding to act before he could stop you, you darted for the door, unlocking and exiting, leaving Han in the bathroom. You held back tears as you rushed through the apartment, heading for the door but nearly fell back when you ran straight into someone.

Looking up, you were greeted by the smile of your best friend, a smile that dropped almost instantly as he noticed your state. "Whoa, what happened?" he asked, looking you over. You gave him a weak smile. "I'm just not feeling well," you answered.

Felix immediately launched into concerned mode, feeling your forehead and cheeks. "You want me to get you some medicine?" he asked as he guided you to the kitchen to get some water. You shook your head. "It's okay. I think I just want to go home."

Felix shook his head. "Nonsense," he scoffed. "You can just sleep in my bed with me-," he began but you cut him off. "No offense, Lix, but I really just want to go home." His face fell a little but he seemed to understand. He loved his bed very much and knew how much you loved yours.

"Then let me walk you," he offered but you shook your head again. "You're too drunk," you countered. "I'll be fine. I'll text you the moment I get home."

You saw, over his shoulder, Han emerge from the hallway and you hastily added an "I promise."

Felix didn't have the opportunity to respond as you kissed his cheek and darted for the front door, yanking it open and stepping out into the hallway. Once the door shut behind you, it was much easier to breathe. You were grateful the elevator was already on the same floor as you stepped onto the lift and rode it down to the lobby.

You were able to make it from the lobby to your bus stop and from the bus station to your apartment in what seemed like record time.

Once in the comfort of your apartment, you sent Felix a text that you got home safely as you started to undress. After getting into your pajamas, you noticed you had some messages from discord. They were all from Han, apologizing and pleading with you to come back.

It was too late now. You were at home and in bed.

Turning your phone on Do Not Disturb, you flipped it screen down and rolled over on your bed, pulling the covers up to your chin. You'd given in to your stupid temptation and really screwed up but one question remained: how much did you screw up?

It had been a couple days since the party and the incident between you and Han in the bathroom and suffice it to say, you could not get him out of your mind.

The way his fingers felt as they moved in and out of you, his lips against yours and how he nipped and sucked on your skin, leaving behind the smallest of marks you had to cover with makeup.

You could vividly remember how he sounded as he begged you, how his hips moved, bucking into your touch to chase his own high. You felt absolutely awful for leaving him so close to orgasm but you panicked. You were in the bathroom in the middle of a party.

You were terrified that someone was bound to notice that you left the bathroom and then Han left shortly after and word would get back to Felix but he never said anything. Maybe you were okay.

Han had texted you a handful of times that night, alternating between apologizing and begging you to let him come see you.

You left them unanswered because you knew it would be a mistake. You had both been drinking and you chalked your encounter up to that reason. You were drinking and alcohol makes you horny.

That's all there was to it. It had to be.

You heard your phone buzz in your desk drawer and chose to ignore it. You had approximately half an hour left at work before you could clock out and return home for the weekend and hide in your apartment.

You didn't often go into the office as your job was more remote work than anything but occasionally you were required to come in for meetings with potential clients and for quarterly meetings.

You glanced at the clock on your desk, sitting next to the framed photo you had of you and Felix during your last trip to Australia. His smiling face reminded you of why you couldn't own up and tell him that you'd slept with his roommate.

It wasn't like this was the first time you'd done something like this.

[flashback to a few years back]

You woke up, blinking away the sleep as you peered around your surroundings and took in where you were. It was a bedroom you didn't recognize so you weren't sure whose it was.

As you attempted to roll over, you were stopped by a firm chest and realized an arm was draped over your waist. A rather muscular arm.

You glanced back and saw you were in bed with… Changbin.

Your heart raced as you tried to remember the events of the party from last night. It was mostly a haze but you suddenly remembered Felix joining a game of pong with some of his friends and you were left to your own devices and someone came up and asked why you weren't dancing.

That wasn't the first time you'd met Changbin but it was the first time you danced with him. As the night went on and you downed more drinks than you could keep track of, you could vaguely remember how simple conversation turned into more.

Changbin started whispering dirty things in your ear in an attempt to make you blush and fluster you but he didn't imagine you to say yes and agree to go back up to his room with him. And to be quite frank, neither did you.

It was still all a blur but you did remember kissing, stumbling, and pulling at each other's clothes. You remembered his head between your thighs, giving you some of the best head you'd ever had in your life and then the way he held you in place as he fucked you against the mattress. It was some of the best sex you'd had in college but the next morning you were horrified by what you'd done.

You'd slept with one of Felix's friends. You'd gotten stupid drunk and slept with Changbin. The gravity of the situation hit you the morning after as you tried to shimmy out from under Changbin's strong hold on you and slide out of his bed.

He grumbled sleepily as you managed to pull yourself free and started looking for your clothes from the night before. You found your panties and pulled them on before grabbing your jeans and pulling them on and started searching for your shirt, finding it clear over by the door.

You had just pulled it on when you heard Changbin mumble.

"Where you going?"

You looked up at him, he was propped up on his elbow, looking at you from under a mop of fluffy, wavy dark hair with sleepy eyes. His face was slightly puffy from sleeping and a small pout was on his lips. "Oh, I was just…" you trailed off as he sat up fully.

"Trying to sneak out?" He asked with a smirk. "Sorry," you murmured. Changbin shook his head, falling back onto the bed, the covers bunched at his waist. "I was hoping we could go for round two this morning," he said softly as he stretched his arms over his head. You grimaced at the soft tone in his voice.

He was a right contrast from last night, whispering dirty things in your ear as his hand wandered between your thighs and over your ass. "I don't know," you replied, drawing your bottom lip between your teeth. Changbin rolled onto his side, resting his head in his hand. "You weren't this shy last night," he noted.

He was right. As the events of the night prior came back, you could remember flirting back and even whispering some of the dirty thoughts you had as well. You were already screwed, having slept with Changbin once. What was one more round?

[present time]

Felix hadn't been entirely upset with you sleeping with Changbin in college. He'd just ask that you not do it again as he laughed and waved off your concern. And yet, here you were. Doing it again.

Granted, it wasn't like you knew Han was his friend and roommate before sleeping together. You'd never met the guy before. So Felix couldn't fault you entirely for the way things happened.

Could he?

You sighed again, eyes still on the photo. It was one of your favorite memories, spending most of the day at one of the many beaches in Sydney after meeting up with Felix’s sisters.

The buzzing of your phone pulled your attention back to your work and you shook your head as if trying to shake the thoughts from your head. You had work in front of you to finish. You couldn’t afford to daydream about the past.

Han sighed, staring at his phone screen, the most recent messages he sent you staring back at him pathetically. ‘Man, you really fucked this up, didn’t you?’

He hadn’t planned on coming to the bathroom during the party. He didn’t know what came over him but the moment you opened the door, he acted before his brain could catch up.

His body acted on instinct alone, pushing all rational thought from his mind. He wanted you so bad and the alcohol wasn’t helping either. Neither did the short skirt you wore that was so easy to slip his hand under.

He’d been fully ready to bend you over the sink and take you right there, fueled by his lust for you and the drinks he’d had. That had to be it, right?

And as quickly as it started, it ended. He never did find out who was banging on the door. If he had, he was sure he would have given them a piece of his mind.

When he’d managed to compose himself and exit the bathroom, he didn’t see anyone waiting to use the bathroom and he cursed whoever interrupted. By the time he managed to squeeze through the crowd back into the living area, he saw you heading for the door but wasn’t fast enough to catch you.

Even weaving through the crowd and slipping out into the hall proved to be fruitless, the elevator doors shut before he managed to reach them and just like that, you were gone.

He returned to the party, having half a mind to head to your place but he didn’t want to push any boundaries. He resorted to texting you, begging you to come back or offering to go to you to finish what you both started.

His texts went unanswered and he wondered if he’d crossed a line with you but he remembered that your hand was in his pants. You had to have wanted it as much as he did. If that was true, then why were you avoiding him?

Han groaned, flipping his phone face down as Felix entered the apartment through the front door. His roommate eyed him curiously, noticing the phone on the kitchen island that Han currently sat at.

“Everything alright?” Felix asked as he slipped his shoes off and headed into the kitchen, setting the black plastic bag he carried on the counter. Han lifted his head from his arms and gave his roommate a guarded look.

“You remember that girl I hooked up with a while ago?” He asked. ‘Your best friend.’

Felix nodded. “The one who let you restrain her?” Felix asked, opening the plastic bag and pulling out the items he’d picked up from the store on his way home. Han nodded as he watched Felix. “Yeah,” he answered.

“Is she still ignoring your messages?” Felix asked, turning to look at him. Han nodded again, silently as he picked at the peeling black polish on his nails. “I’m sorry man,” Felix said with a sigh as he put the beef he’d purchased away.

“I know you said you really liked her.”

Han nodded again. “I do really like her,” he murmured as Felix put the plastic bag away to recycle. “Even when she doesn’t answer your messages?” He asked, leaning on the counter.

Han nodded yet again. “Even then, I still really like her.”

Felix let out another deep sigh, letting his head drop before he gathered his thoughts and stood up straight. “Then call her.”

Han’s gaze snapped up to meet his roommates. “Or better yet,” Felix said with a smirk. “You know where she lives. Go see her.” Han shook his head furiously. “No. I think that would cross a line. Especially if she doesn’t want to see me.”

Felix frowned as Han continued picking at his nails. “Then just call her. The worst she can do is not pick up.” Han sighed, still looking dejected. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Felix stared at his roommate, unsure of how to help him.

They had gotten pretty close before moving in together so Felix clearly cared about him. He’d hoped that meeting you would make Han forget about the ghost girl and focus instead on you. That was his entire reason for introducing the two of you in the first place.

Felix turned and moved to the pantry, opening the door and stepping inside to find the one thing he knew might cheer his friend up. He found the box on a shelf in the back, hiding behind the cans of soup and grabbed it.

He returned to the kitchen, setting the box down on the counter with a loud thud and smiled at Han as he looked up. Han’s eyes widened comically as he looked at the box and back up at Felix a small smile on his face.

Brownies.

Felix did most of the work. Normally he’d make brownies from scratch but he didn’t have all the ingredients he needed and this was an emergency. Han mostly watched as Felix mixed the batter together and only helped when it was time to pour and put the pan in the oven. He also helped clean up by licking the cake spatula while Felix washed the bowl.

“Can I ask you something?” Felix asked as he dried the bowl while Han sat on the kitchen island reading the tub of icing. Han looked up at him. “Hmm?” He hummed in response as Felix put the now dry mixing bowl away and turned to face him.

“What do you think of Y/N?” Felix watched as Han’s cheeks turned pink and he suspected his hunch was right. “Why do you ask?” Han asked, turning his focus back to the tub of chocolate icing.

Felix shrugged, moving to take the tub from him. “I mean, you two seemed to get along at the party and I’ve been trying to introduce the two of you for a while now,” he answered, setting the icing on the counter and looking up at Han.

Despite the pink in his cheeks, Han shrugged. “She seems cool. To be honest, we didn’t get to talk much,” he answered. “Minho was all over her for getting him that drink and then she was with Jeongin and his friends after that.”

There was something in Han’s voice. Something Felix had a hard time deciphering but it sounded an awful lot like jealousy. “Y/N and Jeongin are just friends,” Felix said as he shifted his weight to his other foot, leaning against the counter next to Han. “Oh? Well, she was also pretty cozy with Yeonjun.” Han pouted.

Felix nodded, fighting the urge to smile. ‘Yep. That’s jealousy.’

“Yeah. Yeonjun was kind of all over her but I don’t think there’s much there,” Felix replied. “Yeonjun isn’t exactly Y/N’s type.” Han glanced at Felix, quiet for a moment before asking. “What’s her type?”

Felix let the smile spread this time as he looked at his friend. “Why? Are you interested?” He asked.

The way Han sputtered and vehemently denied it told Felix everything he needed to know. Han liked you and he was more determined than ever to hook the two of you up. Whatever it took.

The clock read half past five when you finally left the office, purse in hand as you exited the elevator into the lobby. You were extremely grateful you wouldn’t have to return to the office again for a while and would be able to do the rest of your work from the comfort of your own home.

The trip home was uneventful, taking the bus to the train station and riding that to your stop. You often wished you could afford an apartment in one of those nice high rises near your job but it was just too expensive.

Upon arriving home, you removed your shoes, cursing as you put them away, glad to not have to wear those again for a while. You decided on the way home to stop and grab something to eat rather than make something.

Going into the office was much more taxing than you remembered.

Once changing out of your uncomfortable office attire, you settled on your couch with your food, a glass of wine, and turned on your tv to watch the latest episode of the show you were currently obsessed with.

You wondered if Felix was caught up and looked around for your phone before remembering you left it in your purse. Grumbling, you got up and set your food on the coffee table, walking over to where you left your purse on the counter to reach inside and grab your phone before returning to your seat.

As you unlocked the screen, your eyes fell on the latest notification from Han.

Hanji: if you want me to stop messaging you, i will.

You quickly pulled up his messages and scrolled up to read the ones he’d send since the party.

Hanji: please don’t shut me out again Y/N Hanji: i had no idea you were Felix’s best friend Hanji: did you know? Hanji: i mean, you must have Hanji: that’s why youve been avoiding me? Hanji: right? That has to be why Hanji: unless i did something wrong? Hanji: if i did i’m really sorry Hanji: please answer me baby Hanji: i’m so sorry. My head is all fucked up rn Hanji: all i can think about is you Hanji: all i’ve been able to think about is you Hanji: y/n please can we just talk about this? Hanji: about what happened last night? Hanji: if i crossed a line, i’m really sorry but unless i’m an idiot, it seemed like we both were into what happened Hanji: i’m not mad. I just don’t understand why you keep pushing me away Hanji: god this really sucks. I really liked talking to you and then we had some of the most mind blowing sex and you just disappeared Hanji: then you showed up again and then the thing in the bathroom happened and now you’re not talking to me again Hanji: not that you were talking before. Fuck now i’m rambling. Hanji: look. I’m really sorry. I’m sorry if i crossed any lines. I’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable and i’m sorry for anything i might have done to offend or hurt or upset you. Hanji: if you want me to stop messaging you, i will.

You let out a sigh, your food and television forgotten as you typed a reply.

You: you have nothing to apologize for Han. It’s my fault. When I invited you over, I had no idea you were Felix’s roommate. If I had known, I never would have invited you over. You: i promise you didn’t make me uncomfortable. I’m more mad at myself for slipping up. I told myself after i found out you were Lix’s roommate that we couldn’t continue. We can’t continue. regardless of how i feel, we can’t keep going You: i had no intention of seeing you again after learning who you were but Felix lied to get me to come to the apartment and force us to meet. I’m sorry for coming into your home and if i made you uncomfortable in anyway it was not my intention You: i’m sorry for the way i left but i panicked. I was afraid we were going to get caught.

Your eyes widened as you saw the familiar three dots appear as Han typed a response. It was then you noticed the read receipts on your messages. Before you could close the app, his reply popped up.

Hanji: why didn’t you just tell me? I’ve been beating myself up over this when all i really wanted to do was talk to you Hanji: I know it hasn’t been long since we met, but i really like you y/n Hanji: why are you so afraid of getting caught? We’re adults y/n. we can sleep together if we want to. It’s not about Felix You: you didn’t know Lix in college, did you? Hanji: no but why does that matter? You: because this isn’t the first time ive hooked up with one of his friends… Hanji: …your answer to the game at the party. You: yes. There were two people in that circle i’ve slept with Hanji: so me… who else? You: god this is so embarrassing. talking about my sexual history Hanji: i’m not going to judge you y/n You: …it was changbin. Hanji: yoooo really? You: stop! 😫 Hanji: sorry 😶 but really? You: yeah. It was back in college. We were both drunk at a frat party. He asked me to dance and one thing led to another and yeah… You: i felt so awful and guilty when i finally told felix. He says he wasn’t upset but i still felt awful. Hanji: did you know changbin and felix were friends when you and changbin slept together? You: yes. Which is why i felt so bad Hanji: then its different with us. You: how? Hanji: you didn’t know felix and i were roommates. You hadn’t met me yet. You: …i mean. I guess thats true Hanji: you only found out afterwards. How did that happen by the way? You: i was doing my laundry and felix brought up the subject of my… kink. He mentioned he had a friend who recently hooked up with someone and did the same thing i mentioned i liked Hanji: you and felix talk about your sexual kinks? You: i mentioned it when i was drunk. Hanji: ahh. Checks out. I did that too. But wait. He mentioned his friend? You: yeah. So he asked if i was interested in meeting his friend and i said i wasn’t sure so he pulled up their instagram… Hanji: no. Fucking. Way You: yes. He said you had hooked up with a girl recently and tried the whole anon sex and restraint thing and well.. i guess he was talking about us. Hanji: i’m sorry but i’m laughing right now You: why are you laughing??? This is mortifying! Hanji: what are the odds??? I mention to my roommate one time that i hooked up with a strange woman i met online, had some of the best sex ever and this whole time, it was his best friend. You: …it’s not funny 😩 Hanji: it’s a little funny You: 😠 is not Hanji: 🤏 just a bit You: wait a second… Hanji: ??? You: did you say you liked me? Earlier? Hanji: scroll up babe. I did You: … Hanji: and i’ve been dying to know You: …if i like you too? Hanji: yes. It’s been eating at me. You: why? Hanji: uh because i like you, you dork

When you didn’t respond, he continued.

Hanji: so do you? Hanji: like me? You: …yes Hanji: oh thank god. I was holding my breath and about to die You: but it doesn’t change anything Hanji: what? Why the hell not? You: because you’re Lix’s roommate and i’m his best friend. Hanji: look, forget felix for a second. Pretend like he’s not there. Hanji: what do you want? Do you like me? You: yes Hanji: do you want me? You: Han… Hanji: felix has been snapped from existence, okay? Thanos style snap Hanji: he doesn’t exist. Never did. Hanji: do you want me? You: …yes. Hanji: how bad do you want me? You: so fucking bad Han Hanji: yeah? You want me to touch you? You: yes. Fuck i want you to touch me so bad Hanji: want my hands all over you You: i want your hands all over me, Han Hanji: fuck, you’re making me want to come over You: you can’t Hanji: why not? You: because it’s late Hanji: hasn’t stopped me before Hanji: Felix won’t notice. He’s too engrossed in his phone to ask. Hanji: let me come over and make you feel good baby Hanji: please after last time, i can’t get you out of my head.

You were about to respond when your phone buzzed, a text from Felix flashing across the top of the screen.

Lixie: are you busy? You: uh. Not really Lixie: 👀 oh? Am I interrupting something? You: it’s nothing. What are you up to? Lixie: well i was gonna invite you to come over and watch this movie with Jisung and i but he just said he was going to bed so maybe another time >: You: lol it’s also pretty late Lixie: yeah. I didn’t think this through but while i have you here can i ask you something?

Your eyes caught sight notifications from Han at the top of your screen as you tried to focus on the texts from Felix.

You: i was actually about to head to bed Lixie: awww ): another time then. Don’t wanna keep your bed waiting You: lmao shut up. I’ll text you tomorrow Lixie: sweet dreams y/n~ You: u too Lixie

You pulled Han’s messages back up.

Hanji: please? 🥺 Hanji: baby? Where did you go? Hanji: i’m in bed now. I’d rather be in yours though 😫 You: sorry. Lix texted me lol Hanji: i figured that’s what happened. What did he want? You: to invite me over for a movie but you went to bed so he changed his mind. Hanji: if i go back out there will you come over? 👀 You: no??? Hanji: ): but babyyyyy You: if i came over now i’d have to spend the night Hanji: 👀 im not entirely against the idea You: in Felix’s room Hanji: aww booooo why? You: why would i sleep in your room? Hanji: well, we wouldn’t be sleeping baby (; You: …and just like that, felix would know everything Hanji: boooo 😑 fine. Then let me come over. You: but you said you were going to bed. Felix might think you’re up to something if you leave now Hanji: goddamn it… Hanji: guess i’ll have to settle for this then You: for what? Hanji: [image]

You tapped on the image and nearly dropped your phone.

You weren’t expecting anything but the sight of Han’s hand curved over the outline of his obvious erection sent a wave of heat and blood rushing to your core.

You quickly got up from the couch, cleaning up your food, downing the rest of your wine before heading to your room and climbing into bed. As you settled against the cushions on your bed, Han sent another message.

Hanji: you wanna see more? Hanji: all you have to do is ask baby You: jfc Han. Warn me next time 😫 Hanji: haha no can do baby You: i was sitting on my couch all unassuming Hanji: are you still on your couch? You: no. I’m in bed now Hanji: let me see

You turned your camera on, snapping a picture of your thighs, tiny sleep shorts and all to send to him.

Hanji: fuck. Send me another You: no u first Hanji: be careful what you wish for baby

You giggled as you waited for Han to send another picture. This time it was his hand disappearing into his pants.

Hanji: more? You: hmmm. whatcha reaching for? 🤔 Hanji: oh when i get my hands on you next…

You bit your lip in anticipation as he no doubt snapped another picture which appeared quickly. You opened it and your mouth watered at the sight of his hard cock in his hand. You pressed your thighs together and quickly typed a response.

You were in the middle of typing when your phone buzzed with the notification of a call from discord. Han was calling you.

You scrambled to answer it.

“H-hello?” Your voice was shaking but on the other end, Han was just as breathless. “You like those pictures?” He asked, half amused.

“Mhmm. I did,” you answered, settling back into your pillows. “It’s been a bit since I’ve seen you,” you added. Han chuckled, a soft sigh leaving his lips. “Are you… touching yourself right now?” You asked.

Han fell silent before answering. “Are you not?”

You shook your head. “No, actually. Not yet,” you answered, moving your hand to rest on your thigh. “Jumped the gun, sorry about that, baby,” Han replied, making you smile, biting your bottom lip to hold in a giggle.

“Do you need an incentive?”

“Hmm what will you give me?” You were teasing him now but Han couldn’t be bothered to care. “Whatever you want, baby,” he answered, his hand moving slowly as he stroked himself, listening to the sound of your breathing.

“Whatever I want?” You repeated him. “Yes. Whatever you want, baby.”

“Hmm, send me a video?”

Fuck, you were going to be the death of him.

“Why don’t I just video call you?” He asked, moving his hand a little faster. “What if that’s not what I want?” You asked, making him pout. “Why ask for a video when you can watch me live, baby?” He asked.

You fell silent this time. He hesitated, thinking he might have gone too far before his phone buzzed. You had started a video call. Han flipped his camera feed around before turning it on. He was greeted by your face in the neon pink lights of your room. “Hey gorgeous,” he said with a smirk.

A shy smile crossed your face. “Hey,” you replied. “You really aren’t touching yourself?” Han asked, clicking his tongue when you shook your head. “You said you’d give me an incentive,” you reminded him. Han drew his bottom lip between his teeth before answering.

“I did, but I don’t think you’ve earned it.” Your laugh made his heart beat erratically. “That’s not how incentives work, Han,” you answered. He smiled sheepishly. “How about you show me what you’re doing?”

Han glanced down at his hand wrapped around his cock and then back up to the screen. “Is that incentive enough?” He asked. You tilted your head playfully. “We’ll see.” He rolled his eyes, letting out a groan before he complied, tilting the screen down so you could see his hand moving up and down his shaft.

He only gave you a small preview before tilting the screen back up.

“Good enough?” He asked. You smiled and moved, the screen a blur for a moment as you set your phone down. Han slowed his hand and watched as you reappeared. You had propped your phone up and were now sitting in front of it.

He watched as you sat back on your heels, hands moving to the bottom of your sweatshirt, playing with the hem. “You gonna strip for me?” He asked softly, keeping his eyes on his phone screen.

You slowly lifted the sweatshirt, exposing your stomach first and then pulled it off over your head swiftly, leaving you in your shorts and a lacy bralette that glowed in the neon pink lights. Han let out a groan as you leaned in a bit closer.

“Keep going, baby,” he rasped. “Give me a show.”

You smiled at him through the screen. “Only if you give me one.”

Han moved at the speed of light, setting his phone up on his bed to the side of him. “Better?” He asked softly as his fingers wrapped around his cock and resumed stroking. You nodded wordlessly and sat back up.

Han watched as your thumbs tucked under the waistband of your shorts and slowly pushed them down, sitting up on your knees to remove them. Your panties matched the bralette and Han nearly moaned at the sight of you kneeling on your bed, knees spread in the pink glow of your room.

“Don’t tease me, baby girl,” he groaned. He watched as your hands moved, sliding slowly up your thighs from your knees. One hand moved up to your chest, grabbing your tit over the lace as the other drifted slowly between your thighs.

“Fuck I wish I was there,” Han groaned, his head falling back against his pillows for a moment before he looked back at the screen. In the time between, you’d removed your panties and were now sitting with your thighs spread, giving him a front row seat to your glistening sex.

“Go on,” he said. “Touch yourself for me.”

Your hand traveled down between your thighs, fingers slowly playing with your clit before dipping down to your slit. Instead of sinking your fingers into your entrance, you pulled them back up, spreading your labia for him to see just how wet you were.

“Fuck,” he groaned, hand squeezing himself and imagining it was your cunt.

“Finger yourself for me baby, go on,” he instructed, almost growling when two of your fingers disappeared inside your wet heat. The moan that came out of you as your fingers curled inside you was almost enough to tempt him into leaving his room and going to your apartment.

He wanted to be there so badly. He wanted his fingers moving slowly in and out of your tight hole. He wanted to finger you slowly, torturously until you begged him to fuck you. “Keep going,” he urged. “Faster,” he added. “I know you can take it.”

Han watched as your hand moved faster, fingers disappearing inside your cunt with a loud, wet squelching sound not unlike when he fingered you at the party.

“Fuck, I really wish I was there now,” he groaned. “If I was there, I’d have you spread out on that pretty comforter as I fucked you.” You moaned loudly, spurring him on. “And I’d mark that pretty neck. Cover it so everyone knows you’re mine.”

His possessiveness was coming out but he couldn’t be bothered to care and judging by the way your hand moved faster, you didn’t seem to mind.

“Han,” you gasped out his name, fingers curling as you no doubt tried to reach the spongy spot he’d reached before, the spot that had your thighs shaking around his hand as he coaxed your orgasm out of you.

“That’s it sugar,” he grunted, fucking his fist faster. “Just like that. Keep going.”

You let out a breathy moan, the heel of your hand rubbing against your clit as your fingers curled more, attempting to reach that sweet spot. “Hannie, I’m close,” you whimpered. “You gonna cum for me baby?” He asked, his own high approaching rapidly. You nodded, teeth sinking into your bottom lip.

“I’m gonna cum,” you moaned. “Do it,” Han encouraged. “Be a good girl and cum all over those fingers. Pretend they’re mine. Cum for me baby girl.”

Your thighs shook, body shuddering as you moaned, fingers still moving as you rubbed your clit with the heel of your hand. “Hng Hannie~” you whined as your orgasm washed over you in waves.

Watching you come undone pushed Han over the edge, cursing and groaning as he came, painting his stomach with his release. His hand continued to stroke himself, making sure to get every last drop.

Han glanced over to his phone, breathing heavily. You had fallen back against your pillows, chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath. Taking the moment to grab a few tissues, Han cleaned himself off, stuffing his cock back in his pants before he wiped his hands and grabbed his phone. “Babe?” He called softly.

“You alright?”

You stirred slowly, rolling onto your side before sitting up and leaning forward. “‘M okay,” you murmured, smiling tiredly at him. Han returned the smile before letting out a sigh. “That was amazing,” he finally said, making you hide your face in your sheets before you looked back up. “Yeah. Would have been better if you were here though.”

Han tilted his head playfully. “Next time?” He asked, hopeful. You smiled at him again. “We’ll see,” you answered softly. “It’s getting late,” you commented, squinting at the screen, no doubt looking at the clock in the corner.

Han checked his. You were right. It was well past midnight. “I don’t want to hang up,” he murmured, watching you through the screen. “Me neither,” you admitted just as softly. “We could just stay on the phone?” He asked. You nodded before sitting up quickly. “Let me put some clothes back on.”

Han whined as you disappeared. “You could always just stay naked!” He reminded you, making you laugh off screen. A moment later, you reappeared in a long tee, shifting to lay on your side with your phone propped up against the pillows.

“I wish I was next to you,” Han whispered, watching you through the screen. “Me too.” You nodded as you spoke. “Ugh, I just wanna hold you,” Han whined. “And kiss you.” Your smile widened as he spoke. “Yeah?” You asked.

Han nodded. “Yes. I just want to hold you so tight and kiss you. All over that cute face,” he answered, making you giggle. “Next time,” you murmured, making him smile. “Next time?” He asked again excitedly, heart hammering when you nodded.

“Yeah, next time.”

#stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids angst #stray kids smut #stray kids x reader #han jisung scenarios #han jisung imagines #han jisung angst #han jisung smut #han jisung x reader #kwanisms

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despairots · 1 year

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could you do a story where miles from earth-42 and our miles are twins and we cant decide which one we like better as we like both of them? you can write the story however you want to!

━━━━━━━━ if i were you, i’d do me.

earth1610! miles morales x gn! hacker! reader x earth42! miles morales. fluff and if you like squint really really hard you’ll find angst. 18 and above please dni, unless your my moot or something… i forgot to change my requests to open but u can send me requests (only abt atsv) just like be patient cuz im daydreaming and shit 🙏

pls ignore the title its nothing suggestive i was braindead and was listening to my saved audios on tiktok this was thw first one on my saved so el oh el 🤕 i gotta keep my writing grind up. keep in mind that earth 1610 miles will keep beinf spiderman and earth 42 will keep being prowler. if y dont know sliver wolf from hsr, switch her up cuz reader is heavily based off of her

this’ll be left on a cliffhanger cuz like idk i just dont wanna make another part and sometimes things are better off with cliffhangers since you guys have creative minds you can come up with your own scenarios

where in a dimension, earth42 and earth1610 miles morales are twins, may look the same but have completely different hairstyles and different personalities also another weird, interesting fact, you’re a sucker for twins, especially them.

interesting fact about you, specifically you, is that you almost got caught by the government when hacking into their system to steal some information.

and of course, them having connections to spiderman, told him to go after this hacker who causes a lot of trouble for the government.

miles morales obviously being under that mask and friends with this hacker who knew that you hated authority (yes, you’re an anarchist), didn’t bother doing anything, probably just telling you to stop messing with them.

on the other hand, his twin bother, myles morales, encourages this behaviour. polar opposites but two cuties, and you, who got roped into romance with them.

“[name], what’d i say about hacking the government?” miles scolded you as you chewed on bubblegum with your feet propped onto your desk, holographic screens in front of you.

“i don’t know, me forgot.” you nonchalantly shrugged, spinning your chair to go back to your screens and swiping left to play the weeknd.

miles spinning you back and placing his arms on your arm rests, too close to your liking.

you smirked with a light scoff, “your brother likes it.” miles rolls his eyes at the mention of him, “i don’t care what he likes.” he snapped back, obviously lying.

miles leaned back with a sigh, “god, what am i gonna do with you?” “maybe get off my ass.” you muttered, not knowing if miles heard that, to which he did.

“i’m sorry, what?”

you jumped at that, quickly shooting your arms up and trying to find excuses, opening your mouth like a fish.

your voice’s overlapped eachother, unable to hear his twin brother opening the door to your room, mask off and everything.

he looked at you who kept stumbling on words.

miles spider sense went off and looked at the entrance, seeing the one guy who encourages your behaviour, “what - what did you tell them?” myles smirked and shrugged.

“i didn’t say anything, bro.” he placed his claws on your bed and sat down on it, “i am not your bro.” miles chuckled and sat down on your bean bag.

“um actually-“

“shut up.”

“cope.” you playfully stuck your tongue out at miles who smiled and rolled his eyes, god you loved his smile. i mean, what?

you don’t love them, boo, you hate them.

“dude, tell [name] that if i don’t catch the ‘hacker’ i’m gonna get my ass kicked.” miles and his brother made eye contact, “i hope you do.” myles replied with a playful tone.

miles threw his hands up, “you guys are actually evil.” you laughed at his comment, “we’re actually vigilantes.” myles pointed out, patting his brother’s shoulder (the bean bag literally beside your bed).

you smiled at the two with light pigment on your cheeks, “i really wanna kiss you guys—“ you paused your sentence with embarrassment, realizing you were saying your thoughts out loud.

the two paused and looked at you, blinking, “eso es adorable, amor—“ “get out.”

“¿qué dijiste, amor?”

“i hate you guys. kill yourselves. espero que te resbales y te caigas en tu próxima misión.” you rolled your eyes and buried your face into your hands as the two twins looked at eachother.

“you don’t mean that, amor.” you groaned at the nickname the two labelled you. it made you want to giggle, twirl your hair and kick your feet like a schoolgirl.

you blushed when you felt an arm sneak around your neck, hugging you against your chair with their head beside your ear, “te gustamos los dos, ¿verdad, amor?”

god, you couldn’t choose between the two.

[name] when they keep getting teased and literally cannot deal with it.

#kaz. 💫#earth 1610 miles morales #earth 42 miles morales x reader #earth 1610 miles morales x reader #earth 42 miles morales #earth 42 #earth 1610 #earth 1610 miles #earth 42 miles #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman into the spiderverse #miles morales x reader #42 miles #42 miles morales #1610 miles #1610 miles morales

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dronebiscuitbat · 1 month

Text

Aight I watched it; got things to say

Spoiler Warning; Obvi-

First; gotta get my main ship outta the way.

WHOO AWKWARD RELATIONSHIP CONFIRMATION!

Nuzi be cannon, and done in the most 'them' way possible. Talking over each other and being soooo dorky, love them, they're great.

No kiss tho, which yeah, didn't figure there would be. Still slightly dissapointing.

V's ALIVE! Which I think we all figured, but I am glad!

Vizzy is also cannon and I wasn't expecting that. Not that I don't ship it, just didn't expect it, but that cute little lean at the end confirmed it.

But enough ship talk. Let's get into my initial thoughts.

My main one being.... that it's totally not the end?

We get left on a CLIFFHANGER!?

is Uzi's body a hologram? It certainly glitched out like one. And also CYN is in her tail? Like alive? And just... being passive aggressive?

Cool but... how? Why? Is Uzi like... the absolute solver program now? She literally dies and comes back so uh... ???

I've only watched it once, so maybe my opinion will change over time but;

It doesn't feel like a cohesive end.

It's not BAD, don't get me wrong. I just feel like it left me more questions then it answered. So I feel like a second season or a movie or... SOMETHING is in order.

Those are my very first; initial thoughts. Give me time to let 'em stew and maybe I'll have more later.

#murder drones #serial designation n #uzi doorman #series finale #murder drones lizzy #serial designation v

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jo-harrington · 6 months

Text

Stranger Than (Fan)Fiction - Chapter 2: Out of Character

Previous Chapter: Alternate Universe

Summary: Things are starting to get weird in Hawkins. Weird for Eddie, especially. (AKA Eddie Munson and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week)

Word Count: 9k

Pairing: Eddie Munson/Fem!Reader

Warnings/Themes: No-Upside-Down AU, Fluff, Angst, mention of virginity, Smut (male masturbation), sexual fantasies, brief Breeding Kink mention (I SWEAR IT WILL MAKE SENSE bear with me), Isekai, Mentions of FOI-compliant events and characters, Lovesick Eddie, jealousy, satire, a Monkey’s Paw type situation, Cliffhanger, Meta Fiction, Eddie acts a little OOC—it’s in the title

Note: Hey everyone, we're back with hopefully some more regularly posted chapters now that my baby SMVerse is complete. Very sorry for how long this chapter is, the next one is admittedly planned to be shorter. There was just a lot of dough to knead here. Thank you to @dr-aculaaa @powderblueblood and @rosewaterandivy for their contribution to some details of the chapter. IYKYK. And they know. Especially how much it means to me.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

It goes without saying that your newfound independence had led to the most fun you’d ever had.

You weren’t afraid to be by yourself; on the contrary, it was almost like you were by yourself for the first time in your life.

That was the thing about living in a small town, everyone knew everyone else and your friends and neighbors always popped in unannounced, usually to a lot of fanfare and excitement.

There was never a dull moment with your friends.

But every aspect of your life in Port Geneva hinged around them, and now you could really focus on you. Realize that you were worth more than what you did to enrich someone else's life. Now you could enrich your own.

You listened to music you'd never heard before. What music had you even listened to before?

You ate foods you'd never eaten before. If you really thought about it, what had you ever eaten but short stacks with strawberries and sandwiches from the deli and cafeteria pizza?

You saw the world; sketched buildings and landscapes that were so different from the ones you were used to. Had you ever seen a house that didn't look like the ones in your cookie-cutter suburb? Or seen grass that wasn't perfectly manicured?

Who knew that wildflowers existed outside of storybooks?

Sometimes you stayed for a while; got a little room at a motel in a town that reminded you a lot of home and nothing like home at all. Too homesick to keep jumping around but not homesick enough to go back. You'd get a job for a few weeks--always lucking out on an opening for a waitressing or babysitting gig or something--pad your pockets, fall in love with the town and sometimes with the people there.

Then the need to leave simmered in your bones once again and you were forced back onto the road.

There was one town you were almost loath to leave. A midwest town and a goofy guy named Ed who made you laugh and called you sweetheart and kissed you shyly; he really understood you, understood the need to march to the beat of your own drum, because his big dream was to get out of his hometown too and make a name of himself.

Which is why he wasn't mad when it was time for you to go.

You'd always remember Stuckeyville.

But it was no matter; the world was yours for the taking. You'd keep going, on and on to the next destination, until you couldn't anymore.

Then one day, a year-or-so into your trip, it happened.

You'd been driving, thinking of the postcards that were burning a hole in your backpack to be sent back home. It was late, and you were tired and ready to make it to your next destination.

That's when you crashed.

December 1985

"Ed..."

"Hmmm?"

"I've gotta get up."

"Five more minutes."

"You're lying on my arm." He could feel the slight movement of something beneath him. "God, you and your big fat head, my hand is numb!"

Eddie groaned as you pushed at him and before long, your finger--cold and wet with spit--slid into his ear, rendering him fully awake and squirming to get away from you.

"Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed as he hopped off his bed and tried to rid himself of the phantom feeling of your invasion. "Gah, ugh, gross!"

"A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do," you grinned and got up from the bed to stretch. You put your hands on your hips and glared at him playfully. "Especially when she's gonna be late. You should know how Bev is better than anybody."

Violation quickly forgotten, Eddie watched you run back and forth around his room; a satisfied feeling settled in his chest as you picked bits of clothing up to layer back on, fixed your hair, swept the fingers over the corners of your eyes to wipe the sleep from them as you got ready for your shift at the Hideout.

It was a feeling that he was quickly becoming addicted to.

How many weeks had you been dating now?

Not enough to satisfy his rapidly increasing dependence on you.

Dating.

You even called him your boyfriend. God it still seemed like such a dream to him. One he never wanted to wake up from. But it was real. You had dates and you took naps together and talked on the phone; sure it was just easier to cross Forest Hills and sit on one of your porches to chat until it was past midnight and you were dozing off, but as the cold weather rolled in, the phone was the easier bet.

Racked up a bit of a phone bill but who was he to complain?

He always paid Wayne back.

It was worth it.

More often than not he started the call with the obligatory “what are you wearing” despite having most likely seen you earlier in the night. But you, not one to leave a man hanging, would always come up with a comical response: astronaut suit, Princess Leia’s bikini and a clown nose, pajamas made out of the hide of Big Bird himself.

It was ridiculous and nothing less than Eddie expected from his favorite tv character and the one true love of his life.

Thankfully, the two of you decided that sickeningly sweet was not your style. Not like some couples. There was no you hang up first or schmoopsie pet names. More often than not he just called you sweetheart; it rolled off the tongue. And you? Called him your idiot.

Yours.

He'd worried with Paige once upon a time that he didn't know how to be someone's boyfriend. Turned out, he just had to find someone to be a friend first, then the rest just...fell into place.

And aside from some of the nerves he'd had when you first showed up in town, and the ever-present question of just how you came to be in Hawkins--

There was a knock on the door to his bedroom.

"'Right Ed, I'm heading off to work," Wayne said through the door.

"Wait up," you called out to him as you hopped to pull your boots on. "I'm about to leave too."

You stopped briefly to give Eddie a tender kiss, and he chased after you when you tried to pull away. His lips refused to part from yours, his hands found your waist to tug you closer, and his heart soared when you sighed and gave into him a little longer.

--Everything was perfect.

You gave him a dreamy smile when you pulled away, one that quickly turned into a feral grin.

"I'm gonna be late," you whispered conspiratorially. "And the old man is gonna question whether your innocence is still intact or not if we take any more time."

Eddie froze.

Well. Almost perfect.

You took the opportunity to stick your tongue out at him and reached up to honk the tip of his nose, before you bolted from the room to leave.

Once the door to the trailer slammed shut and Eddie was alone, he fell back onto the bed with his hands over his face; his head spun as he wondered how the fuck he'd gotten here. To this point. This moment in time.

Because somehow...some way...you thought he was still a virgin.

"Somehow," he grumbled to himself after a second. "You're the one who told her you were, you idiot!"

And he had.

It was a funny story; it always was with Eddie.

Except this was anything but funny.

It has been the third date and there was just…a natural progression of things on your sofa after a day out at StarCourt. Music was playing, hands were wandering; he’d gotten a bit excited and rocked his hips against you creating a delicious crescendo of moans from both of you.

Then for some reason, Eddie thought back to Port Geneva.

Besides a few sweet kisses you shared with douchebag Mark Fisher, you never engaged in any…physical show of affection. No one did, actually. There had never been anything heavier than hand holding and kissing—maybe the occasional make out—shown on screen. Which, in hindsight he should have rationalized as being obvious; it was a family show on television, after all.

Instead he’d opened his big mouth and asked “hang on, are you a virgin?”

Rather than answer, you got bashful all of a sudden; you turned the question back on him, stuttering all the while.

“Eddie…a-are you a-a virgin?”

What could he say looking into your big wide eyes and kiss-bruised lips, thinking you were nervous and wanting to fix his gaff—especially considering all the blood had rushed from his brain to his cock—but yes?

Next thing he knew you were cuddling him, coddling him, and telling him that you could proceed with whatever next step he wanted, whenever he was ready.

In that moment how could he admit that it was all a lie? That he was an idiot and a liar trying to make you feel better? That he was no bumbling, blushing virgin; he was only saying it because he thought you were.

He knew if he tried to backtrack, you’d either believe he was a jerk or that he tried to lie again to feel less embarrassed.

So he let it slide.

Whatever. Virginity was a bullshit concept anyway.

The truth would come out eventually. It just made everything a little more complicated in the mean time.

“As if everything isn’t complicated enough anyway,” Eddie huffed.

Speaking of complicated, between napping in your comfortable embrace, your kiss, and thinking of the events that led up to the unfortunate virginity confession, he was in a bit of a situation.

Stiff and aching in his jeans, he did what he always did: Eddie took care of himself.

He unbuckled his belt and quickly rid himself of the barriers of denim and flannel, then scrambled to find the bottle of lotion that he unceremoniously shoved into the drawer of the bedside table. Just like all of the other things he tried to hide whenever you came over.

Other things...including the poster of you that he'd cut out of the TV Guide.

There was a spark of desire in him—of need—at the sight of it. Of you.

"I shouldn't," he muttered as his fingers hovered at the edge of the drawer, ready to close it. He'd already found what he needed. Best just close the drawer and crank one out and be a happy camper til the next time the need arose.

"It's just...not right...right?" he tried to convince himself as you stared up at him from inside the drawer.

He weighed the pros and cons, tried to convince himself that it was a normal thing. How many other times had he jacked off to pictures in magazines, or crushes from school. Shit, he'd even done it to the fantasy of you.

But now you were real and his girlfriend. Wasn’t that some kind of moral dilemma?

On the other hand, he would just be using a picture of his girlfriend to get off. That was normal, right?

Except...well...it was you, but not you you. Rosemary Glass you. The real you just left for work. The you in real life and the you in the TV Guide were not the same. You were full of life and energy and affection and not an ultra posed picture on a page.

There was another beat of debate before Eddie made a decision.

"Fuck it," he groaned and grabbed the flimsy magazine page and then slammed the back of his hand against the drawer to shut it. If he spent any more time weighing the moral implications here, he'd lose out on the opportunity.

So, poster in one hand, lotion well-coating the other, Eddie immediately sought out his hard cock and groaned with the brief sense of relief.

"Yeah," he sighed. His tongue traced the seam of his lips and he locked eyes with yours in the poster. "That's it."

Internal debate forgotten, he lost himself to his imagination with every stroke and squeeze and twist.

You kissed on him and your hand replaced his. No, your mouth instead of your hand. His mouth on you? He knew what your mouth tasted like; what about the rest of you? It was a delicious fantasy to explore.

His eyes roamed over the dips and curves of your body; he focused on the way your legs looked in that skirt as he squeezed the base of his cock and moaned.

What he wouldn't give to rip that skirt off of you. No, wait. You deserved better than that. He would undress you carefully, show how much you meant to him, then skink into your warmth. How would you feel? Like Heaven, he was sure.

His hand moved faster now, his toes curled, as he imagined this scenario and that one. What if he fucked you in the backseat of your car? Or shit, what about if he bent you over it? Take a drive out to the quarry and have his way with you.

"Fuck, fuck," he groaned and stilled for a second, savoring the intense build of feelings, before he bucked up into his fist repeatedly. "Yeah sweetheart just like that."

He focused on that sly smile, that tilt of your head.

Would you smile up at him like that when he was buried deep inside you, finding all the ways he could make you whine and keen for him. Shit, finding all the ways he would whine for you, just like he was now. Would you ask him for more?

"I'll give it to you baby," he muttered and bit his lip as the wave of his pleasure began to crest. He closed his eyes again to savor it. Savor the fantasy of you there with him, rocking and riding the wave with him. He couldn't wait for the day. "All of it. Whatever you want. Whatever you need."

Would you let him cum inside? You'd beg for it. Beg for his cum.

"Yeah? You'd let me?" he asked breathlessly.

"Please, please," you'd whine.

"Uh-huh? Yeah?"

"Please." You'd scrunch your eyes tightly, pull him in as deep as he could go. "Put a baby inside of me Eddie."

Eddie's eyes shot open and he choked on air. He let go of the now-crumpled magazine and his throbbing cock with a shout.

Panic gripped him.

"W-what the fuck?" he panted, rapidly coming down from his high like a man plummeting to the earth with a parachute that simply wouldn't open. "What the fuck? Why?"

His mind raced.

How had he thought of that? Where did it come from? He wasn't...he didn't...he'd never fantasized about something like that before. With anyone. Ever. Not alone either. Shit, he'd even accidentally checked out a porno from Family Video once that had a pregnant...

"Blagh," he gagged at the memory and fully lost the edge of his erection. The need to come was now gone; in fact, he suddenly never wanted to come again. Not if it meant that he was going to think thoughts like that?

With intense clarity, he tried to retrace his metaphorical steps. Tried to remember what exactly got him to those thoughts, to that...well, he could hardly call it a fantasy now could he? Nightmare. But he simply couldn't fathom how it had cropped up.

"Fuck," he groaned and looked down at himself. At his softening cock slick with lotion, at the crumpled picture of you with the sparkling eyes and smile. And he was reminded of the moral dilemma that he'd encountered a short while ago.

"No," he shook his head. "Not her. Rosemary Glass. That's all it is. I just...fucked myself up fantasizing about Rosemary Glass and my mind punished me. Haha Eddie, jokes on you, got the girl of your dreams and you'd prefer a picture. That's it."

Yeah, that's all it was.

All it had to be.

Otherwise...what the fuck was wrong with him?

What the fuck was wrong with Eddie Munson?

That seemed to be the question of the day, every day, for the rest of the week.

Well, that was what everyone seemed to ask Eddie; friends, teachers, bullies. To Eddie, though, it seemed like everything else was wrong.

It all started in O'Donnell's history class the following day after the, uh...fantasy incident.

He was excited to show up to class.

No, that wasn't why things were wrong. He'd been passing History, working hard ever since that first study date, excited to show up and succeed and actually graduate. And that day they were due to get a test back, one that he actually studied and prepared for.

So yes, he was excited.

Imagine his surprise when Mrs. O'Donnell placed the packet face-down on his desk and shook her head at him.

"I don't know what went wrong here Edward," she tutted. "You were making some real improvements. Such a disappointment."

Eddie frowned as she walked away, and he quickly flipped his packet over to the oh-so-familiar sea of red pen scribbles and a big fat F at the top of the page.

Not just an F. A zero.

"What the fuck?" he whispered.

He might not have been a star student but he’s never outright tanked a test before. Especially not one he’s studied for.

He went over every question again and every answer, wracked his brain for the responses he knew to be true—he had several B’s and C’s on quizzes to prove it—and then read the wrong answers on the test for all of them. Written in his obvious chicken scratch with doodles in the margins just like he remembered drawing when he took the test. So it's not like someone just wrote his name on their test.

O’Donnell took pity on him at the end of class and said he could sit for the test again during his study hall, especially since he’d been making some improvement. He’d practically kissed her.

Only for him to fail again.

He burned with self-hatred at first, and then simply turned his rage on O'Donnell, because he knew all of the answers. She must have just been a picky grader.

That was it, right? She just had it in for him.

But then other things just got worse.

Jason Carver might have been a tool bag and an antagonistic bully but he’d never been outright hostile before. Not like some of his predecessors.

Not like Tommy…Tommy H.

On an unrelated note, that bothered Eddie too. He couldn’t remember Tommy’s last name. Tommy who bullied him and his friends viciously. Tommy H…Tommy Hayes? Tommy Hagan? Both existed in his mind. And yeah normally he wouldn't give a shit but what the hell? First the History test and now Tommy H?

Regardless, Jason had been especially brutal lately.

Overly antagonistic, even calling Edde a freak in the middle of class. He and the rest of the basketball team had even begun their physical assault on him and his friends openly. The jocks pushed them into lockers, spit on them, and threw things. Gareth even got a black eye when they "ran into" the jocks after gym on Thursday.

Eddie knew he wasn't well-liked, but it burned him deep inside that no one spoke up, students and teachers alike. It was all out in the open, where everyone could see or report to the faculty. Even his friends kept their mouths shut and endured the abuse.

No one seemed to be bothered though; they kept to the status quo. And Eddie wasn’t gonna try his luck with Higgins on his own.

Cowards.

Friday morning, Eddie thought he had the answer; Chrissy Cunningham—Queen of Hawkins High and Jason’s girlfriend—spoke to him in homeroom. Not only spoke to him, but made moon eyes at him in every class they shared and in the hall between the classes that they didn't.

And it was getting annoying.

“Dude, Chrissy keeps looking over here,” Jeff whispered at lunch.

“I know!” Eddie slammed his hands on the table, startling the others. He took a calming breath and repeated himself, softer, to Jeff.

“What’s her deal? Does she wanna join Hellfire or something?”

“I dunno man, something strange is happening,” he shook his head and picked at his food. “I don’t know if she’s in some…argument with Jason and is trying to make him jealous. Or if she’s just bored and is enjoying his torment of the village idiots or something.”

“Maybe she wants to buy some weed,” Gareth piped up. “Slumber party with the rest of the cheer squad. She is the Captain. It’s her job to score.”

“Nah man,” Dave chortled. “I think it’s more likely that she’s trying to score in a different way. Get Eddie to fall in love with her or something and make a fool out of him.”

The guys all started laughing and making kissy noises, much to Eddie’s growing annoyance. Every puckering noise grated something deep within him. And it only pissed him offs more when the freshman started to get in on the fun, with Mike and Lucas singing about Eddie and Chrissy sitting in a tree—

“K-I-S-S-I-N—”

“Shut up!” Eddie slammed his hands on the table and shouted, voice echoing across the cafeteria, practically silencing everyone at the intrusion.

His shoulders heaved as he glared over at the jock’s table, where a certain someone with a bouncing strawberry ponytail waved hello, even as she sat with her boyfriend’s arm comfortably around her. And said boyfriend was glaring knives at him; if looks could kill, Eddie would be done for.

His thoughts spiraled and his ears started to ring.

What the fuck was going on? Why was everyone trying to fuck with him now? Why was everything suddenly out of control in such a short period of time? Was this karma? He got one thing he desperately needed so everything else was going to shit?

Suddenly he had an out of body experience, or at least…that’s what it felt like. He watched it all happen, felt all the movements and the words fly out of his mouth but he wasn’t in control.

One moment he was sitting at the head of his table, hands tented in front of his face as he contemplated life, and the next he was standing. Standing on top of the table, actually, and while that wasn’t an unusual occurrence, it’s what he did up there that was.

“Hey Carver, you have a fucking problem with me?” He shouted, hands cupped around his mouth. “Why don’t you step into my office and file a complaint!”

His arms swept outwards of their own volition and he bowed over to gesture to the table and to his friends.

“Pretty sure my associates have a few choice words for you too.”

What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck…

Jason was on his feet immediately, with Patrick and Andy quick to follow.

“What’s your damage freak?” He chuckled sardonically through gritted teeth. “Trying to have your own little David and Goliath moment? Prepare to get toppled.”

“Wait, do you think you’re David right now? You think you’re a hero?”Jeff scoffed and got to his feet, spurning the rest of Corroded Coffin to do the same, sending jeers and taunts across the room. The jocks did much of the same, name calling and shouting vicious threats.

“I’m gonna kick your ass Emerson!”

“Kick? How about kiss! Just like your mom likes to do!”

It kept going until Eddie took a few steps down the table, leant down, and scooped his fingers through Mike’s gloopy mashed potatoes, ready to fling a handful towards the enemies.

He was prepared for the worst as he witnessed it all from inside his own body, as he felt the gravy slip down his hand and into the sleeve of his jacket. An all out war, the need to protect his friends again—worse this time with the Freshman—the dread of listening to Gareth’s fingers breaking once more…it would all start once the first shot was fired.

If there was a God—or some fate writing this in the books of the universe who was just really bad at writing a fight sequence—now would be the time for them to make themselves known.

“Munson!”

Eddie inhaled the air greedily as he regained control of himself, and he marveled at Higgins' sudden appearance: standing in the doorway to the cafeteria with Coach Palmer and Nancy Wheeler standing behind him.

He’d never been so happy to see them in his life.

“Munson,” Higgins shouted at him. “Get down from there!”

Jeff, knowing what was good for them all, pulled Eddie down from the table and he stumbled on legs made weak from the rapid loss of adrenaline. Lucas passed a handful of paper napkins for him to clean off his hands as Higgins and Coach crossed the cafeteria, Coach to take care of his little minions, and Higgins to take care of him.

Despite their tenuous truce, Higgins grabbed Eddie by the arm and tugged him towards the cafeteria doors.

“Detention,” he hissed in Eddie’s face.

“My fucking pleasure,” Eddie replied desperately, suddenly a devout believer in whatever deity he had evoked.

Man, this was getting to be a habit.

As he was escorted out of the cafeteria, Eddie vaguely heard Dustin over the din of classmate whispers.

“Guys, that was weird. What’s wrong with Eddie?”

“What do you mean?” Gareth answered blithely. “He’s always like that.”

"I can't believe you got detention."

"I mean, Higgins could have expelled me. Or tried to get me to drop out again."

"I really fucking hate that guy," you muttered and reached out to grab a box from the shelf. "How about this one?"

"Seen it, fake blood is obviously fake."

"You're such a horror snob."

"Don't deny it," he whispered in your ear and pressed a kiss to your cheek. "That's your favorite thing about me."

You put the movie back on the shelf in a huff and then the two of you shuffled forward down the aisle.

Saturdays were made to be spent together; Saturday mornings specifically. Eddie would take as much time with you as he could, but Hawkins was Hawkins and there was only so much to do. So you designated Saturdays as mornings out before you went to work and Eddie made the rounds to whatever parties he could safely show his face at and make some quick cash.

You traded off on whoever made plans, and today he had pathetically suggested a movie, snacks, and cuddling on the couch, needing to find a respite in your arms after the abject chaos of his week.

He already felt worlds better, more like himself, because you listened and understood.

He ranted and cursed during the drive and you hung onto every word, only interjecting to offer gentle encouragement. You didn't pity him or blame him--well, you blamed him for almost starting a food fight and since he couldn't explain what overcame him in that moment, he accepted it--but you made sure he knew that you had been in his shoes and understood exactly how he felt.

His dependence on you made itself known when you got into the store. As much as you protested his arms latching around you immediately, he knew you secretly enjoyed the proximity and the sweetness that he lavished you with.

Hobbling down the aisles with him practically attached to you; whispered stories, jokes, and terms of endearment; and an occasional raspberry on your neck if and when you had differing opinions about a movie.

Eddie thought The Outsiders was a good movie. You preferred the book. Which was fine. You tried to tell him Rob Lowe was cute, though; that earned you some punishment.

"Oh come on, don't tell me you never had a crush on a celebrity," you snorted and squealed and tried to free yourself from his grasp. Which you did successfully as your words made him freeze. "Or like...a character from a tv show or something."

You didn't know how close to the truth you were.

He felt his world tilt on its axis as you kept browsing and spouting off names and laughing, and with each celebrity or character you named, the more he thought of Port Geneva with intense clarity.

He could hear the theme song, see the neon text of the closing card, and feel his heart skip a beat when you'd show up on screen and greet your friends "Hey guys!"

"Hey guys!" your same voice rang from the other side of the partition of tapes, same emphasis and volume and cheer as you would on tv, as you greeted Robin Buckley and Steve Harrington. "Are those new?"

"Mmhmm," Robin affirmed. "Technically they were supposed to go out yesterday for the weekend, but someone was too busy flirting with Melanie Hartford."

Steve's embarrassed trip-up over a response was overshadowed as you called out.

"Hey Eddie, come here, I think they're putting out some new movies."

Eddie took a breath to compose himself, carefully placed the mask of cool and adoring boyfriend back on, and then rounded the corner to join you.

"If it's Death Wish 3 on tape, it wasn't that goo--" Eddie trailed off as he stopped in his tracks.

He understood why Steve sounded so embarrassed.

Eddie mainly steered clear of Steve Harrington over the years; yeah he was a shithead and a bit of a bully, but especially since the Freshman insisted that Steve was a nice guy, he'd tried to put it all in the past. Best not think of King Steve and all of the opportunities and advantages that he'd gotten, no matter how good of a guy they claimed he was.

Knowing Harrington's reputation and then fall from grace over the past few months though, he wondered if Steve had ever had some unreciprocated crush before.

Because he was certainly acting like he had a crush in front of you.

A crush on you.

Eddie knew what it looked like when someone had a crush; shit, he'd felt that way plenty of times over the years. The shifting eyes, the nervous stuttering. He'd gotten pretty good at hiding it, being able to put on the cool guy front. But Steve was doing it all out in the open.

Steve watched as you and Robin passed tapes back and forth--watched you more than Robin, actually--threw a comment in every now and again. When he cracked a joke, his eyes slid directly to you, and when you laughed, he beamed brightly.

And Eddie didn't know what he was more grateful for: the fact that you seemed oblivious to it all, or that he was there to witness it and put an end to it.

He tamped down the fire that built up inside of him and closed the distance; he threw an arm over your shoulder with a cool greeting to Robin and Steve.

"I've never even heard of some of these movies, have you?" Robin asked with some bewilderment.

"I don't know, this one sounds familiar," you hummed thoughtfully.

"See that's what I told Rob," Steve interjected and Eddie grit his teeth.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Robin scoffed.

"Isn't this the girl from Legend?" You held up a video box to Eddie to show him. He couldn't be bothered to really notice the titles of the movies on display--Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Lost Boys, Lethal Weapon--and instead he chose to press a kiss to the side of your head and continue glaring at Steve.

You turned back to Robin.

"Do you guys have Legend? I saw it when it came out but it'd be nice to see it again."

"I can show you!" Steve jumped at the chance, but Robin rolled her eyes and pushed him away.

"I've got this dingus," she waved at the tapes on the counter. "If you could finish processing these like you should've done yesterday?"

Steve huffed as you and Robin walked away, but Eddie stayed behind. He leaned over the counter, elbows resting against the edge.

"How've things been Harrington?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Uhh," Steve shrugged but pointedly ignored Eddie's eyes. "Good, fine."

"Did I overhear Buckley right? Going on dates? You finally over Nancy Wheeler," Eddie's voice got progressively louder.

"What the--listen keep your voice down, Jesus," Steve laughed nervously, gaze shifting in the direction that you and Robin had disappeared. "A guy's gotta move on. Can't be lovesick over Nance forever."

Eddie plastered a fake smile on his face and laughed heartily.

"Yeah? Gotta find someone else to obsess over?" The smile dropped almost immediately and he became dead-eyed. "Stop making goo-goo eyes at my girlfriend."

"Hey, Munson, I'm sorry--" Steve held his hands out innocently. "She just came in one day and I thought she was cute; I didn't know that you were--"

"I'm sorry," Eddie mimicked Steve, standing stiff and straight with shaking hands. "I didn't know the freak could have a girlfriend."

He reached across the counter and grabbed Steve by the vest and pulled him forward, close enough so he could get in his face.

"Don't look at her again, don't talk to her again," he hissed. "You can have literally any other girl in Hawkins, King Steve. So you better get over your crush fast."

Yeah, it was harsh, and in hindsight he should have been a little nicer about it. But after everything had compounded on him all week, it was nice to just be a raging asshole like everyone expected him to be.

Unfortunately, you had never experienced Eddie The Villain Munson.

"Eddie, what the hell!" you exclaimed as you appeared in his peripheral vision.

Until right that second.

"Let him go, what are you doing?" you rushed forward and slapped at his hands to get him to release Steve. He did, but continued to glare as he backed away and took several calming breaths.

"Hey, in all honesty," Robin laughed nervously as she returned to the counter. "Dudley Do-Right here probably said something dumb and deserved it."

"What's going on?" you ignored her and whispered to Eddie. "I thought we were just gonna have a relaxing day. You were fine two seconds ago. What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," he deflected. "Don't worry about it."

"We can just go home and hang out like you wanted; you said Wayne has some Bonanza reruns on tape. We can laugh at Hoss and Little Joe and--"

His eyes went wide; the Bonanza tapes were by the TV, mixed up with the Port Geneva tapes.

"No!" he shouted aggressively...defensively; it startled you. "No Bonanza!"

"Oh...kay."

Then your whole demeanor changed.

You crossed your arms in front of you and your eyes went cold and distant; you frowned, deep enough to create lines on your forehead and around your mouth. You suddenly looked a lot older than you were, aged by disappointment and...guilt maybe? He didn't know. He'd never seen you like that before, and he suddenly felt bad.

"Let's uhh...let's just go," you offered quickly, then apologized to Steve and Robin for taking their time.

"Hey wait, I'm sorry," he tried to apologize. "We can still get a movie and hang out. I just...I don't know...I fucked up. I'm sorry."

"No, I...I forgot Bev said she might need some extra help today. Making some changes, I don't know. I need to go in. It's my fault. I'm sorry."

"Sweetheart wait!" he called out as you walked out of the store and towards your car. He looked back at Robin and Steve, who pointedly avoided looking at him, and then huffed a sigh and followed you.

The ride back to Forest Hills was tense and silent.

Eddie knew he fucked up, knew he hurt you, but didn't know what to say or how to fix it.

"What the fuck is wrong with Eddie Munson?"

That was the question of the week, and now even Eddie was asking it of himself. Especially since he couldn't even control himself.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to you when you parked in front of his place. "I don't know...I'm just sorry."

"It's ok," you shook your head. "Seriously Eddie, don't worry about it. You just had a bad week. I need to go to work. We'll hang out another time."

"I'll call you tonight," he promised. "After work."

"Sure," you offered a tight-lipped smile. "Just rest today ok? And feel better."

"Yeah."

"Everything's gonna be ok."

"I know."

He leaned over and gave you a kiss and there was something about the way that you kissed him...that made his heart ache, and he didn't know why.

Eddie watched as you drove away, off to the Hideout to help Bev, or whatever else you could do if it ended up being a lie so you could just get away from him.

He'd fix it; he had to. He just got his wish, got you; he couldn't lose you. It would be the last straw.

He climbed up the porch steps, lost in his own thoughts, but when he opened the door--

"What the fuck?"

--all of his worries were forgotten, because the trailer was trashed.

Wayne was blissfully asleep on the fold-out bed, but there were piles of laundry on the couch, dirty dishes piled in the sink in the kitchen. Empty, crushed beer and soda cans littered the floor; honestly, there was just trash everywhere.

Eddie had only left an hour or two ago, and the trailer...well it might have had some clutter but at least it was tidy. It looked like an atomic bomb of trash had exploded in here.

If he had just been wondering what was wrong with him, he was suddenly wondering what was wrong with the universe again.

"What the fuck?"

The rest of the weekend had been spent cleaning.

Not tidying, literally cleaning.

He'd tried to ask Wayne about it all--maybe some weird trash bandit had come or kids trying to pull a prank, it wasn't like they really locked their doors--but what was even more suspicious was that Wayne didn't blink an eye at the mess.

"I work, you have school," he shook his head and tried to go back to sleep. "Chores pile up kid. That's the way it's always been. We'll get ahead of it again eventually."

And that just made Eddie feel bad; had it actually been this bad all along and he never realized it? Had Wayne done all this cleaning and housework on his own and now the weariness and the years just started to catch up? It must've only gotten worse now that Eddie lived with him.

So Eddie kept his head down and his mouth shut and tried to make it all better.

He cleaned and cleaned, and it seemed that no matter how much he cleaned, everything only got worse. The laundry on the sofa had been put away--more laundry than Eddie or Wayne really even had clothes to be honest. The fridge was somehow both empty--even though he'd just remembered to do a little grocery shopping...or had that been the other day--and full of rotten food at the same time. There was plenty of beer though. The dishes were all cleaned and spotless, only for him to come home from school on Monday afternoon to find them all to be right back again. Has they even used real dishes? Not that he could recall.

Fuck.

He complained to you on the phone late Saturday night--

"I don't know how it happened. It's like suddenly out of the blue it all just...appeared."

"Wayne didn't hold a secret party while we were out?" you asked, although your voice seemed stiff...distant.

"He just rolled right over and went back to sleep."

--but aside from some sympathy, you didn't seem to think anything was weird.

Hell, even his friends didn't seem suspicious.

"The trailer is always dirty," Gareth scoffed at practice on Monday night. "Like...no offense man, it's a trailer park, what do you expect."

It took everything in Eddie not to knock his buddy out right then and there; how many times had he told them how awful and stereotypical that kind of idea was. How hurtful people were when they found out he'd moved in with Wayne. Only for Gare to come back and spit it back at him again?

Instead he put that hateful energy into coming up with some kind of way to make you...forgive him...or love him again or something. He'd floated the idea of a ballad or some kind of love song to the guys at practice, ready to wow you on Tuesday night at the Hideout.

They hemmed and hawed but after he promised they'd all roll with advantage during the following Friday's session, they agreed and even suggested songs to get him back in your good graces.

Now it was Tuesday night. Time had passed by in a flash and he was standing at the door to the Hideout, ready to knock your socks off.

The guys were inside already, setting up, but he'd needed a moment to think of what to say to you.

He paced in the gravel, thought about his apology, thought about the song that he'd picked. The last song of the set, one he'd dedicate to you.

It would be perfect.

He mustered up the courage and walked inside, only to be hit by shock once again.

How many times could someone utter the words "what the fuck" in one week? Eddie had to be going for a world record.

When Eddie had suggested the Hideout when you mentioned looking for jobs, he'd warned you that Bev was a curmudgeon but the nicest curmudgeon you'd meet, and that the bar itself was, affectionately, a shithole. A house turned into a bar on the side of the highway, with a bunch of plywood in the corner that doubled as a stage, a makeshift bartop that was probably older than his uncle, and chipped glasses.

Now, it was almost...nice?

With an actual small, raised stage and a few spotlights hanging from the ceiling, neon signs boasting brands like Old Style and Coors--something Bev had always said was just the glitter and not the gold--and a sleek black bar with a marble top and comfortable-looking barstools. And it all had Eddie wondering if he'd stepped into the Twilight Zone.

That was it right? That had to be it. He'd stepped into the Twilight Zone the minute you'd showed up outside of his trailer and he hadn't returned to the real world since.

"Hey, there you are," you approached him from behind the bar with a tense smile. "The guys were wondering when you'd come in. I got them all cherry cokes to shut them up."

"You didn't have to buy them drinks," Eddie shook his head. "They don't deserve it."

"On the house," you reassured him.

"I'm sorry," he choked on air. "On the...on the house? On the house meaning...Bev's treating? Bev who must've secretly won the lottery or something? Look at all of this." He gestured around the bar and then lifted his feet. "The floors aren't even sticky."

"I told you that she was making changes," you shrugged, but refused to meet his eyes.

"Changes, not...a full renovation, wow." He looked around in awe, then squinted when he saw something on one of the tables. "She even sprung for printed napkins too."

"Yeah," you laughed nervously. "Guess she did. It's as much of a shock to me as it is to you. You, uh, better get the guys before they cause too much trouble."

"Yeah I should," he nodded slowly, but grabbed your wrist when you tried to walk away. "I know I've said it a million times sweetheart but I'm sorry I scared you."

"You didn't Ed, I promise," you tried to smile but it didn't quite reach your eyes.

"Can we talk maybe? After the set? Like really talk? I'll even wipe the tables off for you." You hesitated but nodded, and he gave you the briefest peck on the cheek before running down the back hallway to the little smokers exit to find the guys.

Only to find them in a legitimate green room in what he was sure used to be the storage room where Bev kept the kegs. His friends were all laid out along leather couches that sat along the perimeter of the room, sipping their cherry cokes and chatting. There was a coffee table right in the center laden with snacks and magazines.

"Man," he commented with a whistle, alerting the guys to his presence. "Can you guys believe this?"

"I know," Jeff giggled maniacally and then reached out to grab a bag of peanut M&M's. "Brand name snacks, and not the generic kind we usually get."

"Makes me feel like we're about to hit it big," Dave agreed.

Eddie tripped over his words for a second, not entirely sure that they were as astounded by the Hideout's transformation as he was, but he shook off the bewilderment to tell them it was time to go perform.

They raced back down the hall to the stage, and although the bar had just been empty when he walked in--save for you and some of the regulars slumped in their seats--there was definitely a crowd. Or the beginnings of one. A couple canoodling at a table, a few college-aged people ordering beers, and a group for a bachelorette party or something at the large booth that had been installed in the corner by the door.

"Wow," Eddie breathed out, nerves suddenly overtaking him. They'd never played a crowd like this before. "Hope they like metal."

And they did. They were head banging and once they were familiar enough with the lyrics a few people were singing along.

It was invigorating. Refreshing. Aside from the handful of people who'd been involved in the whole...record label fiasco, he'd really never experienced this many people who were excited for his sound. Their sound.

He wasn't gonna betray his friends, his band, like that again.

There were a few songs that Jeff and Gareth suggested that weren't originally on their setlist, and they really weren't metal technically, but they all knew the songs and the crowd was excited for them, so he couldn't complain.

Towards the end of the set, he felt his stomach churn with nerves again. Worse now, because it was time.

"Uh," he stepped up to the microphone, a little too close as it squeaked with feedback. "Hey guys, thanks for uh...thanks for coming out. Make sure you...tip your bartender...and her lovely assistant." He gestured over to you and a grumpy-looking Bev at the bar.

The audience clapped, even the handful of drunk regulars.

"Now uh, speaking of the lovely assistant, I...um..." he cleared his throat and looked down at his guitar. "I might have messed some stuff up with her the other day, and I know she's still a little mad at me. So sweetheart, without further ado, this one's for you. Corroded Coffin's rendition of..."

He paused. Froze.

The words were right on the tip of his tongue: All Through The Night.

They'd practiced it for hours, really making the cover theirs. They added all sorts of guitar riffs and a sick solo that ended with him sending a kiss across the bar to you. It was supposed to be perfect.

He cleared his throat and tried again.

"Corroded Coffin's All..." He shook, struggled to get the words out. "All...All My Only Dreams. Enjoy."

What the fuck? What the fuck?

He felt that out of body experience again, just like he had in the cafeteria, as his fingers plucked at the strings of his guitar and Gareth and Dave set a slow beat.

It felt like some bad knockoff song from the 60's. Maybe something he heard on one of his mom's records. But he couldn't place it.

What was this song? How did the guys know it? Why had he said that? What was All My Only Dreams?

It was certainly not metal. Certainly not music.

"Every night I pray, I'll have you here someday," he felt himself sing. "I'll count the stars tonight, and hope with all my might..."

He stared at you across the bar as the song continued, out of his control; the couple stood from their table and began swaying back and forth and you stood there behind the bar, wide-eyed with a hand covering your mouth. In shock or disbelief or pain he couldn't quite tell.

"Every waking hour it seems, I only have you in my dreams."

All he knew was, this song kept going and going and he couldn't stop it even if he wanted to. Couldn't stop himself from playing or singing, couldn't stop Jeff from harmonizing with him on certain verses.

Until the song was over.

"If I could have just one request, stay with me girl I'll confess, all my only dreams."

He strummed the last few notes, and as soon as the audience started clapping, he felt whatever puppet strings get cut, felt himself in control again.

Eddie panicked. He didn't even wait for the applause to be over, didn't thank the crowd like he usually would. He just swung the guitar over his shoulder and jumped off the stage with the guys hot on his heels.

"What's going on?" Gareth hollered after him.

"Yeah Ed, where are you going?" Jeff caught up to him and tried to put a hand out to stop him, but Eddie just shrugged him away.

"That was our best performance ever," Dave insisted. "And applause on an original song to boot."

Eddie froze as he reached the green room, and then turned on his friends, hackles raised.

"Original song." He parroted. "Original song? That wasn't an original song!"

"Yeah it was," Jeff nodded. "All My Only Dreams. You made us practice it all night last night so it was perfect."

"We practiced All Through the Night," he laughed dryly. "Are you high right now Jeff? Fuck, am I high right now?"

"Are you?" Gareth exclaimed. "Because I didn't just learn that song so you could make it up to your girlfriend just so you could act crazy like this man."

Jeff walked over to the pile of their stuff in the corner of the room, and fished a folded piece of paper out of the pocket of his backpack.

"Here I'll prove it to you," he grumbled and unfolded it. "All My Only Dreams. By Eddie Munson."

He shoved the paper into Eddie's hands and Eddie stared at it in disbelief. His handwriting, again, with words that he didn't remember writing. A little heart in the corner with your name scribbled inside of it, just like he did in his school notebook sometimes.

"What the fuck..." he muttered to himself, and then looked up at his friends, suddenly lightheaded and sick.

He felt angry, he felt like crying, he felt like...like everything in the world was turning upside down on him and it was some kind of cruel joke that everyone was in on but him.

He opened his mouth to start yelling, when your head appeared behind the guys.

"Hey, 'scuse me guys," you announced your presence and Dave, Jeff, and Gareth all parted so Eddie had a full view of you.

You looked just as sick as he felt. Your face was crumpled in a terrible pensive frown, hands wrung together in front of you.

"Can you give me and Eddie a few minutes alone? While you all break down your stuff?" you asked softly, and Eddie felt his heart drop into his stomach as the others left.

You closed the door to the green room behind you and then took a few deep breaths.

This was it.

You were gonna break up with him.

The universe was cruel to let Eddie have you, only to play these games and lose you in such a short amount of time.

He was so caught up in the panic of possibly losing you that he didn't notice you talking until you were right in front of him. Your hands cradled his face and you stared into his eyes, your own full of worry.

"Eddie, Eddie are you ok?" you asked, voice edged with panic.

"Yeah," he cleared his throat. "Yeah, sorry...I was..."

"It's ok, don't worry," you reassured him. "It's...fuck...it's ok."

"Did you like the song?" he questioned, dumbly.

You let out a snort of laughter and then squished his face between your hands for a second.

"We need to talk," you whispered. "It's gonna be a lot. And it's not gonna be easy to hear, and I know you're gonna have a lot of questions, and I don't...I...fuck Ed...I'm so sorry."

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"I..." You looked lost for a second. "Eddie, I don't know how to answer that question. No...not really."

"Not really isn't no."

"Alright smartass," you scoffed. "No, I'm not breaking up with you. But that doesn't mean...doesn't mean that this thing we've got going on now isn't over. It's...what I'm gonna tell you right now is gonna change everything."

You helped him to sit down on one of the leather couches and then you paced back and forth, nervously chewing your thumbnail and looking for a way to start.

"This..." you began tentatively. "This isn't...real."

"So I am dreaming," he looked around for a moment. "Makes sense."

"No...you're not dreaming. It's just...well, ok, Ed. It's gonna be really hard to understand. But I'm gonna need you to tap into that big imagination of yours. Ok? Because God damn, if there was anyone I could get to understand, it's honestly you. Making up all sorts of stories and fantasies for Dungeons and Dragons.

“I’m sure you’ve started noticing things happening? Weird things, uncanny things, impossible things. And it’s making you go a little cross-eyed, a little crazy, makes you feel like you’re losing your mind because the only person who notices the changes…well it’s you. But it isn’t only you.

"This..." you waved around. "It's all real. It's a real world and we live in it. I'm real, you're real. I can touch you, kiss you. But it isn't. Not really."

He suddenly felt like you were talking down to him, and felt that irrational anger start to build again. You’d made sense up to a point. This was real, but it wasn't real, but it was real enough so he could kiss you? But somehow not real enough because you were bringing up stories he created for DnD, like it was all part of his imagination. But somehow he was also crazy?

"What the fuck is going on?" he demanded.

"Eddie," you took a breath and closed your eyes for a second. "This right now? Everything you see? This room, that song, me, and you?"

"Yeah."

"We're all fictional. We're all...in a fan fiction."

Next Chapter: Lore Dump

There is no taglist for this series, please follow the STFF Updates tag or check the series out on AO3.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #Eddie Munson smut #eddie munson fanfic #stranger than (fan)fiction #stff #stff updates #stranger things fic

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enchantedlov3r · 6 months

Text

My heart is saying let's go! John B Routledge and JJ Maybank

🎶I'm a genie in a bottle, you gotta rub me the right way! If you wanna be with me, baby there's a price to pay🎶

Summary: There has been tension between you and the two boys but no one's ever acted on them, plus there the boys! They gotta rub you the right way...

Pairing: John B x Fem!hispanic!Pogue!reader x JJ Maybank

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: pet names, oral (f), flirting, angst, arguing, jealous kiara, angry reader, mention of death, smut, cliffhanger, kiara being a party pooper (i have nothing against her this was just a random idea), pinning and yearning, many emotions, overall good vibes, FLUFF LIKE TOOTH ROTTING, ENJOY!

A/N: I looooooovvvve me some of that John D and Papa J (divider creds to @cafekitsune

you were walking down the street from your house. you had just recently gotten into an argument with your dad and you really didn't feel like dealing with that right now.

you were walking down the street towards the chateau where you practically lived whenever you and your dad fought.

It was the only safe place you could go to, besides your childhood best friends were over there!

john b and jj maybank, the two boys who grew up to be the hottest men around. you had the biggest crush on them both and they noticed ever since you guys started 9th grade together.

since then you've flirted with each other, tested each others limits to see who would snap first, you even kissed them both at a stupid spin the bottle game.

though kiara has always been a little jealous considering she kissed jj and john b at the same party. And granted they never said they were dating because no pogue on pogue macking but hey, you and them? broke that rule long time ago.

you finally arrived and ran your hand along the Twinkie. you looked inside wondering if anyone was inside but nope, nobody. you went up to the door and knocked. you pace around the front porch before knocking again.

after about a minute you hear someone say, "hold your horses man, i'm comin." You instantly knew it was jj's voice, how could it not be.

when he opens the door he's got this boyish grin on his face as his eyes rake up and down your body. "hi jj, how's my surfer boy?" you greet with a warm smile on your face and open arms.

he gladly accepts your warm embrace along with the feeling of your warm skin on his as you were just in a bikini with these cute little short shorts on.

"i'm doing a lot better now cupcake," he says biting his bottom lip as he checks you out. "gimme a lil' twirl huh cupcake?" he asks smirking. he grabs your hand holding it up as you twirl around with giggles escaping your mouth.

"hey jayj, my eye's are up here." you say snapping your fingers in his face. you roll your eyes when he pouts and push past him to get inside.

"johnny boy, where are you bubba? I missed you," you call out hoping that john b is in here somewhere. suddenly you hear footsteps behind you and as you turn around you squeal out of fear and excitement.

john b has you wrapped up in his arms as he spins you around. john b was always your favorite but at the end of the day, you liked them both and your love for them evens out to the point where there both your favorites.

"there you are, been thinking about you all day baby." he says as he puts you down with his head snugged into your neck and his arms wrapped around your waist.

"Oh really, well then I guess my appearance was good in your favor." you say giggling. You see jj behind him staring at your exposed legs and his bottom lip between his teeth.

"ugh, hey, john b c'mere. Take a look at our girl." he says as he makes eye contact with you. john b let's you go and his eyes rake over your body as he walks to stand next to jj.

"what? do you want a twirl too?" you asks with your hands on your hips. They both smile and look at each other. "no, no. y-you look nice" john b says.

"I mean yea but without the clothes would be reeeaaal nice." jj says.

"JJ MAYBANK! How dare- ugh how could- ugh never mind." you stutter, face flushed. they've never been this forward with you but I guess since you guys kissed, there getting bolder and bolder.

"aww is our girl getting all shy now?" jj said making a fake pouty face with only mockery behind it, no sympathy at all.

you flip them both off before muttering some slight curses in spanish.

"Ustedes, hijos de puta, pueden ser verdaderos idiotas." you say while walking outside. (Translation: you motherfuckers can be real idiots.)

they hate when you curse at them in spanish, only knowing a few words because you use them a lot. "Hey! I know what puta and idiotas means you jerk!" jj yells at you.

you giggle and stick your tongue out at them both. john b is standing there in pure shock like 'what did i do' and jj is just angry. you make your way to pope, sarah and kiara.

"hey guys! what's up?" you asks excited to see sarah and pope. you and kiara aren't exactly on the best terms right now. she was your number one and now she's been replaced with sarah all because of a boy.

it was stupid really but whatever, if your guy's friendship was put in jeopardy over a boy and jj at that, then you guys were never really best friends to begin with.

sarah rushes over to you instantly embracing you in a warm hug pope following and doing the same. You opened your eyes and watched as kiara sat there and gave you a small smile. You simply smiled back before drawing your attention back to sarah and pope.

"hey girl! what's wrong? you look like you've been crying." typical sarah. Such an observer. "Yea i'm fine, just got into another argument with my dad, noting too serious." you say with a weak smile.

She tuts and shakes her head, "I told you just come and live with me for a month at most." she says.

"Yea and risk my father tearing up tannyhill, and risk putting you in danger? yea no chance. Eres demasiado importante para mi" you say to her. (Translation: you are too important to me)

She smiles understanding the words that came out of your mouth as you say them to her and everyone else everyday. You nod at her and walk over to pope.

"Hey. pope pope! Hows papi Heyward doing?" you say laughing as soon as you see pope's face.

"One that nickname is dead. Two, never call my dad papi again. And three, he's alright thanks for asking." he says rolling his eyes with a smile on his face.

"Noted on number one. Never on number two, he's papi forever, and three, that's good, glad he's ok!" You say making sarah laugh.

You see the boys coming outside with beer cans in their hands and they're walking towards the boat. sarah managed to highjack one of her dad's famous boats and now you all have it.

Today was a day where you all go out on the boat, listen to music and swim around and get slightly drunk. That was a weekend for the pogues. And even though it is stupid considering you guys have school in two days, who cares!? your living life like stupid teenagers should.

your making your way towards the boat with john b and sarah when you see kiara rush up to jj. there both talking and jj looks your way but, you quickly look next to them to make it look like your looking at pope.

waving your hand over to invite pope to the conversation sarah was having with you and john b. you three get on the boat and you turn to grab some cans from john b so you can put them in the cooler.

Once everyone is on it's smooth sailing from here until of course kiara has something to say. This has been going on for many weekends now when you all want to have fun, kiara some how ruins it with her jealousy.

"why are you doing it anyway?" she asks. you were scrolling on your phone while jamming to the music in the background and laying your head in jj's lap while he was talking to john b when she said it.

sarah looked at her confused like 'what is she talking about' and then noticed she was talking to you. sarah then tapped you to get your attention.

"¿qué pasa sarah?" you asks her. She nods her head to kiara and kiara rolls her eyes.

"yo kie, is there a problem?"jj asks, it seems her question got everyones attention now. pope looks confused and so does john b.

"I wanna know why you do it. why you lead them on? why you flirt with them sooo much!" she says glaring at you.

"kiara are you serious right now? we're all just trying enjoy ourselves and you feel the need to have this conversation now?" you say trying to keep your composure.

you have your dads temper and when you got angry it wasn't exactly the best. your whole mood would be ruined the rest of the day and you didn't need that.

"i'm talking to you about it right? so obviously i wanna have the conversation now." she says with an atitutude in her tone and you snap.

"look kiara. i'm done with your bullshit ok? whatever the hell you need to get off your chest just fucking say it." you say rising your voice slightly.

she scoffs and then begins her rant, "i'm tired of seeing you flirt with them. it's so annoying and you know how I feel about it. and john b, jj? what happened to no pogue on pogue macking huh? it seems that rule just went out the window!" she yells back.

"Ok hermana, lemme stop you there. no pogue on pogue macking? that rule ended when you kissed them first at that stupid party kiara. then you just ditched them both completely like nothing happened and they did the same thing. When you had your stupid kook phase where you just up and left and fucking forgot all of us, that was cold." you yell.

"So yea maybe i did take the opportunity to try and explore my newfound feelings for the two boys I LITERALLY GREW UP WITH!? you love making this situation seem all about you and your fucking feelings kiara but that's bullshit. i had them first, there my boys! who were with me through everything! When my mom died, were you there? no! wanna know why? because you were too busy acting like a fucking stuck up, prissy kook to even notice!" you yell at her finally getting what you needed to get off your chest.

"No offense sarah..." you add quietly. she shakes her head as a 'none taken' gesture before looking back over to kiara.

"oh ¿por qué haces las cosas que haces? Oh, no lo sé, ¿probablemente porque puedo?" you say mocking her out of anger.

Translation: (oh why do you do the things you do? oh i don't know probably cause i can?!)

She sits there silently. "I bet 20 bucks you didn't even know my mother was dead." you say coldly before turning around to go sit at the bottom part of the boat.

20 minutes later john b and jj come down to comfort you.

"Hey bubs. you ok?" john b asks walking up to your laying figure and lays in front of you. jj gets on the bed behind you and grips your stomach while john b grips your waist.

your still in your shorts and bathing suit. jj's hands are warm on your bare stomach and john b's hands are toying with the back pocket of your shorts.

"really sorry about her. she just, she-" jj is cut off by you.

"she needs to chill the hell out. She needs to stop acting like i'm some girl that's obsessed with you guys when she's clearly the obsessed one!" you say cuddling into jonh b's chest a little more.

jj scoots closer to you, his crotch on your ass, you wiggle against him supposedly "trying to get comfortable" knowing damn well your just teasing.

john b notices what your doing and pulls your hips flush with his. "I'd stop moving if I were you sweetheart." john b says.

"yea, wouldn't want anything naughty to happen right?" jj whispers in your ear.

" 'm sorry, just wanna shut my brain off for a second. i'm so angry, can you help me?" you ask the both of them twisting onto your back to stare at both of them.

They both give each other this look before looking back at you and giving in. "ok cupcake what do ya want us to do?" jj asks, you look at him and smile tiredly.

"I want you to finger me, eat me out, you choose." you say pulling down your shorts and your bikini bottoms to reveal your already wet pussy.

"Damn bubs, that was kinda our job but hey i'll get to work." john b says kissing all down your body from your lips to your neck, down to your breasts until he reaches your thighs.

He parts your legs with his big, warm hands rubbing your thighs in just the right way to make you twitch. You grab onto his hair when his kisses start leading to your now soaking cunt.

"Are you a virgin cupcake? what? you saved your pretty pussy for us? how cute." jj says right next to you. He's kissing and sucking, leaving marks on your neck as he plays with your nipples to stimulate you.

you whine and nod your head lazily at how good it feels. jj chuckles beside you as he whispers dirty things in your ear to get you off.

John b's tongue is now on you eliciting a moan straight out of you. Your hands running through his curls. Your hips moving on their own to chase your orgasm that's building up (he was that good).

Your crying now, the feeling of john b's tongue and jj's fingers were a feeling of bliss and ecstasy. You wanted nothing more than to cream and cum all over john b's face.

jj's hands reach your clit at the perfect time, you clearly must have mumbled something about cumming but you were too drunk off the both of them to even notice.

your mush now, the feeling of your orgasm washing over you and hitting you like a wave. your slowly sinking in to a lulling slumber as your fingers get tired of gripping john b's hair.

You whine out one last time before your out like a light. 'damn they really rubbed you the right way.' you thought once more before your asleep.

Taglist: (?)

#jj maybank prompt #obx smut #john b routledge #john b prompt #john b x reader #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank

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morgana-larkin · 5 months

Text

Got a prompt messaged to me by someone who wants to remain anonymous. The prompt is: Melissa likes reader or OC that looks like Jodie. And the woman in the picture with Jodie is the reader/OCs best friend. Melissa thinks the brunette is dating reader/oc but they aren’t dating.

I had a lot of fun writing this, I’ll be honest. Also I would have had this up yesterday but audition season is here and I’ve been really busy going to those. I left this on a steamy cliffhanger, I might make a part 2. I’ll post the picture it’s referencing at the end of the fic in case you want to see it for reference. Anyways, as always not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

On another note: After I’m finished with all the prompts I currently have, I’m thinking of writing Marilyn and reader (redheads are my biggest weakness… I regret nothing)

Part 2

Blood As Green As Her Eyes

Warnings: Jealous Mel, references to smut, small not very detailed unfinished smut scene, good luck! 😉 😈

Words: 4.4k

Melissa walks into the break room and looks over to try and find you and sees you near the couch but you’re talking to someone she’s never met before. She walks a little further in and gets the tail end of the conversation.

“Alright see ya later beautiful.” You tell her.

“Right back at ya sweets.” The woman says and then leaves.

You see Melissa is there now and you go to her and sit at the table with her and Barb.

“Hello ladies.” You tell them and Barb smiles at you and Melissa glares at you.

“Who was that woman you were talking to?” She asks.

“Nicole? Oh she’s my best friend!” You say as you straighten your posture. “We’ve known each other for years. We met in high school and it was like instant connection.” You tell them excitedly.

Melissa doesn’t buy it though. With the way you talked to her and about her, it was obvious to Melissa that you’re dating her. Melissa ignores the sick feeling in her stomach.

The next morning you walk in the break room and your blonde hair is wet from the rain.

“Did you forget an umbrella hun?” Melissa asks you and you nod with a pout.

You go to sit down but then Nicole rushes in and you turn around.

“Hey you forgot your lunch on the way out. I gotta get to work but just wanted to drop it off quickly for you.” She tells you and hands you your lunch.

“Oh thanks love.” You tell her and Melissa scrunches her eyebrows. She knows you’re British, you have the accent and you told her, but the nickname threw her off.

“No problem sweets.” Nicole says and gives a quick kiss to your cheek then leaves. Melissa glares at Nicole the entire time. She clenches and unclenches her fists a few times to calm down. You put your lunch in the fridge then sit down at the table.

“Maybe I should go to the bathroom quickly and use the blow dryer to dry my hair.” You say with a chuckle and Barb laughs with you. Melissa just gives you a forced smile and you give her a confused look.

Melissa is bringing her kids to gym class that you teach. You see her and her class and you put your phone away instantly and give them a smile.

“Hey kiddos! Go on and get changed!” You tell them with a smile and they all run to the change room. You see Melissa still hanging around. “Hey, aren’t you gonna use the break to relax or whatever you do during this period?” You tell her curiously.

“No, I think I’m gonna hang around this time. Watch why they’re always so excited about gym class.” She tells you with a smile and you blush a bit.

“Alright! That’s not a problem at all! I would love for you to stay actually.” You tell her and the smallest blush makes its way to her cheeks.

“What were you doing on your phone btw? You put it away rather quickly. Are you sexting or something?” She jokes with you and you giggle.

“No! I was just texting Nicole something but it’s not as important as gym class.” You tell her and her blood boils a bit at the mention of her name. The kids start coming in with their gym clothes on and you turn to face them. “Alright guys! Today we’re playing dodgeball!” You tell them with a one clap of your hands and they all cheer. “And before we split up into teams, remember, no aiming at anyone’s face. And I’m looking at you Niyah.” You say and the girl just shrugs. Melissa goes to sit on the edge of the stage with her legs dangling off.

She watched as you picked 2 team leaders who then chooses their team. You then blow the whistle when they’re all ready with the balls in the middle of the gym. And then they all run to the middle to get a ball. You walk onto the stage and sit beside her and watch everyone. At some point, a ball comes directly at Melissa and you catch it then hand it to whoever is near you guys. You two end up talking while you still keep an eye on the kids.

And then Niyah throws a ball and hits a kid in the face and they fall. You immediately jump down and blow your whistle. “FREEZE!!!” You tell them and they all immediately stop and you run to the kid that was hit. “Niyah, we talked about this.” You tell her and she just shrugs again. You help the kid that fell to get up and make sure they’re alright. “Are you ok sweetie?” You ask very soothingly to him. He nods but looks upset. “Do you want to come sit with me and Ms Schemmenti on the stage for a bit?” You ask him and he nods again. You guide him to the stage and once he climbs up, you blow your whistle, signalling for the kids to continue the game. The boy ends up sitting in between you and Melissa and you look at his face again. “You have a small bruise forming but other than that, I don’t think there’s anything else.” You tell him and he seems upset that he got hit. “You know you’re very strong.” You tell him and he looks up at you. “You got hit in the face, fell down and you still got up.” You tell him with a smile. “That’s the mark of a strong person.” You continue and he smiles at you when you tell him that.

Melissa looks at you and sees how you are with the kids and can’t help but think of how beautiful you are, inside and out. 5 minutes later the boy asks if he can rejoin the game again and you nod at him. “Of course, you can rejoin whenever you want.” You tell him and he jumps off and runs back to the game.

You and Melissa continue talking and you notice how her hand is subtly touching your hip and you blush. The power this woman holds on you with just a touch.

In the morning the next day Melissa is on her phone scrolling through instagram. She’s mindlessly doing it until she comes across one of you and Nicole sitting together on a couch and you both have big smiles. Melissa freezes and stares at it and unconsciously grips the phone tightly.

“Melissa, are you ok?” Barb says and gently puts a hand on her upper arm for comfort.

“What? Oh, fine.” Melissa says and you walk into the room then and she smiles, then that smile immediately drops when she sees Nicole following you. “Actually I gotta go.” Melissa then says and grabs her stuff then stands up.

“Morning Melissa! Oh are you going somewhere? We were gonna join you.” You say innocently and with a big smile.

Barb sees how Melissa grips her pen so tight that her knuckles are turning white, while you are none the wiser.

“I’ve just got some stuff to do before school starts. I’ll see you later Barb.” She says with a frown and then walks out of there.

“Is she ok?” You ask Barb and she just looks at you confused as well. Then she replays in her head what happened. Melissa was scrolling on her phone through instagram and obviously saw something she didn’t like, then you came in and she smiled, and then it dropped. Why?

“Did you post something on instagram lately?” Barb asks and you nod. You showed her the picture you posted an hour ago that you took yesterday afternoon, then suddenly the pieces fall into place for Barb. Melissa likes you and she’s jealous of Nicole. Barb has to do some digging, cause while she doesn’t think you and Nicole are dating, Melissa might, and Barb has to be certain before she talks to Melissa. “Just out of curiosity dear, are you and Nicole going out? I mean like are you dating?” She asks and you shake your head.

“Me and Nicole?” You say while pointing towards you both, even Nicole is confused by the question.

“Why would you think that me and y/n are dating? I mean not that there’s anything wrong with y/n, it’s just, she’s not my type. Gender wise.” Nicole says.

“I mean ya I guess we can come across as a bit flirty but we’re just comfortable with each other.” You say with a smile. “Besides she’s not my type either, personality and looks wise.” You say and Nicole nods.

“Ya y/n is a great friend but would be a terrible partner for me.” Nicole says and all 3 of you laugh.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what is your type dear.” Barb asks you and you have to think about that. You know your type, and it’s Melissa, you have a crush on her and the only person who knows about your crush is Nicole and she’s been pushing you to get closer to her and ask her out. You want to tell Barb but she’s Melissa’s best friend, and while you know Barb won’t tell her if you tell her not too, it’d still be awkward if she knew. So you have to say your type without letting on that it describes Melissa.

“Well I guess women that have like a lot of spice to their personality, like they’re not plain.” You say with a big smile. “And I guess I do have a soft spot for fiery redheads.” You say a bit cautiously and you see that Barb’s expression hasn’t changed so I guess she hasn’t figured it out yet, so you continue. “And older women, I think they’re hot.” You say and Nicole playfully smacks your shoulder.

“Ya you and those milfs, I swear.” She tells you and you giggle. Barb looks at you two confused.

“What’s a Milf?” She says and you both look at her.

“It stands for Mom I’d Like to Fuck. But it’s also meant to describe older women that you think are hot.” You explain to her and her eyes widen a bit but you think it’s because of the description of Milfs and not of the woman you like.

“Is there anyone that you like right now dear?” She asks you and you nod timidly.

“Ya she does!” Nicole says and you glare at her. “I’m gonna leave now, gotta get to work, see ya sweets.” She tells you and waves at you and Barb goodbye.

“Is it Melissa?” She asks you and you snap your head at her and eyes wide a bit. That was all the answer Barb needed but of course you try to defend yourself.

“What?!? N-no…of course not! Why would you think I like Melissa?” You say, stuttering and stumbling through the entire sentence.

“I’m just wondering dear that’s all. I have something to do before school as well. I’ll see you at lunch dear.” She tells you and you say goodbye to each other.

Barb gets to Melissa’s room in time to see Melissa throw a pen across the room, and she sees no others on the redhead’s desk.

“How many pens have you thrown across the room?” Barb asks her and Melissa whips her head to her.

“I lost count.” She says to her, then goes to collect all of them. She picks up what looks to be about 10 pens and a couple markers and highlighters.

Barb wants to tell Melissa what she knows but thinks that Melissa might brush her off, so she decides to tell her tomorrow after she has time to blow off some steam. Which in retrospect, turns out to be a mistake.

Melissa goes to a gay club after to blow off some steam, and she ends up chatting it up with a girl there and then makes out with her at the club. You end up seeing that, as you also went to the club to try and move on from her since you think Melissa will never have an interest in you. Melissa ends up taking the girl home and you were watching her the entire night, she never saw you though. You really have to move on now. You end up telling Nicole what you saw and she said she can be around with you more in the mornings and after school so when you see the redhead, she can provide comfort for you.

So on the Friday morning, Melissa comes in with a small pep to her step as she had sex with the girl last night and you notice it. Nicole is with you though on the couch, you decided to stop sitting at the table with Melissa and Barb to avoid the redhead. As soon as Melissa walks in, she sees you and Nicole on the couch, and Nicole has an arm wrapped around your shoulders. Melissa gets angry at that and ends up taking it out on Jacob and throws his android at the wall with a “GO BACK TO THE BLUE BUBBLE!” She yells at him and Jacob tries to act like that didn’t faze or scare him.

You look over at Melissa when that happens and she catches your gaze. You two lock eyes for a second then you turn back to Nicole and Melissa stomps out of there. Melissa ends up telling Barb that she went to the gay club last night and hooked up with a girl, and later you end telling Barb that you went to the club as well when she asked what was wrong.

“I went to the gay club last night and being there just didn’t help anything.” You told her and even if you don’t say it, Barb knows you saw Melissa there, and she knows Melissa didn’t see you.

Over the next couple of weeks, Nicole has been coming with you into the break room in the morning or you go to your classroom with her to avoid the redhead, and she meets you after school to avoid Melissa as well.

“Hiya sweets!” She greets you one Friday afternoon and then you end up catching Melissa giving a glare in your direction. You see that it wasn’t directed at you though, it was directed at Nicole and you got confused.

You and Melissa both end up at the club again only it was reversed this time. She sees you there and you don’t see her. She sees you there alone looking upset and Nicole nowhere to be seen. And then she decides to go and talk to you. Before she gets to you however, a girl comes up and starts talking to you before she does. She freezes and sees that the girl is flirting with you and you seem to be liking it. That makes her confused because as far as she knows, you’re dating Nicole and you’re monogamous. She starts to get jealous again and stomps out of there before she starts a fight with either that girl who’s flirting with you or some random person.

On Monday morning she decides to talk to you at lunch. She knows that for some reason you seem to avoid the break room now so she’ll have to go down to your classroom. You at the moment are having a discussion with Nicole before school starts.

“What are you going to do y/n? Cause you can’t avoid Melissa forever and I can’t always come down to support you.” She says and you sigh.

“I know, it’s just hard right now. I mean ever since I saw her take that girl home a few weeks ago. I just keep thinking about it.” You tell Nicole and she nods.

“I keep telling you to talk to her.” Nicole tells you and you sigh.

“You know I won’t. You don’t have to come with me in the mornings anymore you know. I can just hide out in my classroom. I mean there’s what? 16 weeks left until summer break. And then I can spend the summer just getting over her. And then she’ll never even know how I felt cause then it’ll go back to normal next school year.” You say confidently. Melissa sees your door mostly closed and decides to keep walking, knowing that Nicole’s in there too. You hear her heels and you go and look out your door and see her walking to her classroom. You think it’s good that she didn’t stop by your classroom or else she might have heard your confession and you let out a sigh of relief.

“If you just tell her then you’ll know if she likes you or not. I mean what if she likes you back?” Nicole says and you shake your head at her. “Honestly you lesbians are so dramatic.” Nicole teases you and you flip her off. “I love ya too y/n.” She says and then leaves for work.

At lunch Melissa comes to see you after grabbing her lunch from the fridge. She runs into Barb and tells her she’s going to see you and Barb smirks and tells her good luck.

She arrives at your door then Melissa takes a deep breath and knocks on your door. You open it and almost slam the door back in her face but instead you just freeze.

“Hi.” She tells you and leans on the doorframe. She’s so cute you think and then remove those thoughts, not the time to check her out.

“Something you want Melissa?” You ask her as neutral as possible and she’s slightly taken back by this. You usually have a big and bright smile when you greet her.

“I just wanted to know if you were ok? I haven’t seen you as much lately.” She says and you look at her eyes then look away from her eyes as fast as possible.

“I’m fine, just don’t feel like being in the break room.” You tell her.

“Why?”

“That’s personal.” You tell her with a bit of a snap to it.

“Can I come in?” She asks you and you shake your head.

“No.” You tell her flatly.

“Why not?” She asks you confused. “You always were happy to have people around in your classroom to visit you.” She tells you.

“Well I decided that I’m going to avoid people from now on.” You say and go to close your door, but Melissa with quick hands, stops it and pushes it back open and you stumble back from the force a bit. Melissa takes the opportunity and walks in and closes and locks the door. She then turns to look at you with an unimpressed look. “What?” You ask her and she walks towards you, you however began to walk backwards to avoid her and she keeps walking towards you. You then get stopped by your desk and Melissa traps you there and looks at you closely.

“What’s going on with you hun?” She asks and you begin to breathe deeply. You don’t reply and she continues to try and get you to talk. “I saw you at the club on Friday night, flirting with that girl.” She tells you and your eyes go wide then you narrow your eyebrows at her.

“So?” You question her.

“You seem to be enjoying it and playing along. I thought you were dating Nicole.” She tells you and the built up anger that was starting inside you immediately disappears and all that’s left is confusion.

“You think Nicole and I are together?” You tell her and press your lips together to try and suppress a laugh.

Melissa looks confused. “Um ya, I mean it’s kinda obvious. She’s always with you, you guys constantly are talking, she comes in with you to school and picks you up after. You’re constantly flirting and posting pictures of the both of you together.” She says those last 2 with some anger and you quirk an eyebrow at her.

“Melissa, her and I are just friends. We may sometimes seem flirty but it’s innocent. She’s straight and she’s not my type.” You say and Melissa leans back, immediately releasing you and you get out from her entrapment. “Melissa what is all this about? You’re acting distant lately.” You say and she looks at your desk and has her fingers on it.

“I don’t like seeing you two together.” Is all she says.

“Why?”

“Because I thought you were together.” She says plainly and then it all hits you at once. The way she leaves when she sees Nicole with you, the glares she sends at Nicole, the way she ignores you both when you go to talk to her, the way her personality changes as soon as Nicole is in the room. Melissa is jealous.

“Is it because you don’t have a partner? Because it can be so easy for you to find one. I mean you found someone to hook up with a few weeks ago.” You tell her and her eyes widen.

“You were at the bar that night?” She asks and you nod.

“I saw you make out with her and then take her home with you.” You say disappointedly.

Melissa pieces it all together right then and there and smirks. She stalks towards you and traps you against the wall on the side where your doors are.

“Did you get jealous by that?” She asks you and you shake your head.

“What?!? Me? Jealous of you with another girl? Why would I get jealous of that?” You say and your voice gets high in pitch and she grins. You gulp as she gives you a look that she doesn’t believe you.

“I think you are jealous by that.” She tells you and lowers the pitch of her voice. “Tell me, did you want it to be you that I took home that night?” She asks and you look at her with a huge blush and you can’t find it in you to lie to her, so you nod. “Well do you want to know what I was thinking when that girl flirted with you?” She asks and you nod again. “I thought that I wish it was me flirting with you instead of that girl. She is just a girl who probably doesn’t know how to properly satisfy another girl yet.” She tells you and then leans in to your ear. “I’m much more experienced and know how to satisfy a girl all night.” She whispers in your ear and you shiver. “Ugh I was so jealous when I thought you and Nicole were together, I was mad. And then you started avoiding me and she was over every day and I wasn’t able to keep taking it. I went to that club every night and kept sleeping with girls to get my mind off of you and blow off some steam.” She tells you and you look at her surprised.

“You’ve been sleeping with a bunch of girls?” You ask her shyly and she nods.

“And either they weren’t experienced or maybe it’s because they weren’t you, I don’t know which one but it wasn’t any good.” She says and you look at how close she is.

“Can you let me go?” You ask her and she shakes her head.

“Do you know how much time I’ve spent picturing you in my bed, underneath me or up against my wall at my house. How many times I’ve spend fantasising about you when I’m touching myself?” She asks and you shake your head. “I mean fuck y/n, you drive me crazy.” She tells you and you’re a blushing mess right now but find enough strength in you to speak.

“I… I fantasise about you too.” You tell her and she smirks at you.

“Really?” She asks and you nod. “What do you fantasise about?” She whispers near your ear and you gulp.

“I-I picture you on top of me, domi…dominating m-me.” You start and you’re very nervous, but her smirk makes you continue. “And I imagine what it would be like to feel you inside of me and making me beg to let me come.” And while you speak, she drives her knee closer and closer to your core. Until she hits it and you squeak and buck your hips.

“Keep going.” She tells you while grabbing your hips and you gulp again before continuing.

“I thought about…about what your breasts would look like and-” you get cut off by you gasping as she moves your hips forward, making you grind against her thigh. “I thought- I thought about what your lips would feel like on mine and all over me.” You continue with difficulty and eventually you don’t need her hands guiding you as you’re turned on enough and you continue grinding her thigh on your own. She removes her hands from you and places them beside your head and then places her lips on your neck and starts kissing and sucking. She then tells you to continue. “Omg, Mel-Melissa.” You say a bit loud and she has to cover your mouth with her hand.

“I guess you can’t continue, since you’re loud.” She says against your neck. You’re close to coming about a minute later and she pulls away and you whip your head at her in shock.

“What? Why’d you stop? I was so close.” You say and she smirks.

“Oh I know. But I want to see your whole body and be inside you while you come underneath me.” She says seductively. “I want to take out all my jealousy on this pretty body of yours.” She says and bites your ear then pulls back again. “Why don’t you come to my house after school?” She asks and you immediately nod. “Good, now don’t touch yourself during the rest of lunch, I want you begging me for release tonight.” She tells you and you nod her head.

Melissa then grabs her lunchbox and then goes back to the break room. She enters with a grin on her face and the trio looks at her confused, Barb sees the grin but doesn’t comment on it. She just smiles and shakes her head.

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