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#government strategy consulting
sequoyastrategies · 2 months
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Expert Public Policy Consulting for Strategic Policy Development
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Discover expert public policy consulting services designed for effective policy development and advocacy. Our team provides thorough research, strategic planning, and innovative solutions to help you achieve your public policy goals.
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aestrategies · 13 days
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Partnering with a federal consulting firm ensures expert guidance through government regulations, boosts compliance, and enhances project success. Gain strategic insights and support to improve your chances of securing and executing federal contracts efficiently.
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charterglobal1994 · 3 months
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IT Management Services | Charter Global
We offer a full range of IT assessment, program & project management, and managed services tailored to your needs.
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votermood · 3 months
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जानिए राजनीतिक सलाहकार कैसे बनें ?
क्या आप राजनीति में रुचि रखते हैं और एक प्रभावी राजनीतिक सलाहकार बनना चाहते हैं? यह जानने के लिए हमारी गाइड पढ़ें कि कैसे सही कदम उठाकर आप एक सफल राजनीतिक सलाहकार बन सकते हैं। जानें कि आवश्यक कौशल, शिक्षा और अनुभव क्या हैं, और किस प्रकार की रणनीतियों का उपयोग करके आप अपने कैरियर में उन्नति कर सकते हैं। आज ही शुरुआत करें और अपनी राजनैतिक यात्रा को एक नया मोड़ दें!
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compliancespecialist · 11 months
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Mastering the Art of FCA Regulatory Business Plans - 1 - The Need
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vikram-blogs · 1 year
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Corporate Governance Consulting and Advisory Services
How MCA Consulting’s Corporate Governance Division Can Help
At MCA Consulting we have a legacy of instilling a strong governance framework into our clients’ businesses. Our Founder Chairman T.N. Manoharan has made governance the cornerstone of his professional outreach.
We help in setting up good governance frameworks, internal controls setup, operational efficiency audits and timely risk assessment studies, thereby helping clients lower the risk of non-compliance with statutory and regulatory obligations.
We assist and guide businesses in setting up a board comprising competent directors, along with pursuit of industry best practices in internal systems, controls and procedures to help them maintain a strong governance framework, creating significant momentum for growth.
Governance Framework
Governance is a work in progress. At MCA Consulting, we work closely with our clients in installing reliable methods of operationalizing governance by helping setting up the board and its functioning along with establishing internal controls. We lay strict emphasis on integrating controls with regulations along with leadership and the ‘people’ aspect of governance.
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global-insights · 1 year
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The Crucial Role of Data Governance in Implementing a Successful Data Strategy
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Understanding Data Governance
Data governance refers to the framework, policies, and processes that ensure the proper management, quality, security, and privacy of data throughout its lifecycle. It involves establishing accountability, defining roles and responsibilities, and implementing controls to ensure data is used and managed effectively.
The Importance of Data Governance
Data Quality and Integrity: Data governance establishes standards and procedures for data quality management. By ensuring data accuracy, completeness, and consistency, organizations can trust their data to make informed decisions, conduct accurate analyses, and generate reliable insights.
Compliance and Risk Management: Data governance helps organizations adhere to regulatory requirements, industry standards, and privacy laws such as the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) or the California Consumer Privacy Act (CCPA). By implementing appropriate controls and procedures, organizations can mitigate risks associated with data breaches, unauthorized access, and data misuse.
Data Security and Privacy: With the increasing threats of cyber-attacks and data breaches, organizations must prioritize data security and privacy. Data governance establishes protocols for data classification, access controls, encryption, and data masking. By safeguarding sensitive information, organizations can build trust with customers, partners, and stakeholders.
Data Integration and Consistency: In today's interconnected world, organizations often deal with data from multiple sources and systems. Data governance ensures consistent data definitions, formats, and standards across different systems and departments. This promotes data integration, eliminates redundancies, and enables effective data sharing and collaboration.
Decision-Making and Accountability: Data governance establishes clear roles and responsibilities for data management. It ensures that data owners, stewards, and custodians are identified and held accountable for data quality, privacy, and compliance. This accountability fosters a culture of data-driven decision-making and ensures the organization's data assets are used responsibly and ethically.
Implementing a Successful Data Strategy with Data Governance
To implement a successful data strategy, organizations must align their data governance practices with their strategic objectives. 
Here are some key steps to consider:
Define Data Governance Framework: Establish a formal data governance framework that outlines the structure, roles, and responsibilities for data management. Identify data governance champions and create a cross-functional team to drive the implementation and enforcement of data governance policies.
Data Inventory and Classification: Conduct a comprehensive inventory of your data assets to understand what data you have, where it is located, and who owns it. Classify data based on its sensitivity, criticality, and regulatory requirements. This will help prioritize data governance efforts and ensure appropriate controls are implemented for different data types.
Data Quality Management: Develop processes and tools to measure, monitor, and improve data quality. Implement data profiling, validation, and cleansing techniques to identify and rectify data issues. Establish data quality metrics and regularly assess data accuracy, completeness, and consistency.
Privacy and Security Measures: Define data privacy policies and procedures in compliance with applicable regulations. Implement measures such as access controls, encryption, and anonymization to protect sensitive data. Conduct regular security audits and assessments to identify vulnerabilities and address them promptly.
Data Stewardship and Accountability: Assign data stewards who are responsible for data governance activities within their respective areas. Empower them with the authority to enforce data governance policies and resolve data-related issues. Establish clear guidelines for data access, usage, and retention.
Conclusion
Data governance plays a pivotal role in implementing a successful data strategy. It ensures data quality, integrity, security, and privacy, while also promoting compliance, risk management, and accountability. By establishing a robust data governance framework and aligning it with strategic objectives, organizations can unlock the full potential of their data assets and gain a competitive edge in today's data-driven landscape.
Data governance serves as the bedrock for implementing a successful data strategy. It ensures data quality, compliance, security, and privacy, thereby enabling organizations to derive meaningful insights and make informed decisions. By implementing robust data governance practices, organizations can establish a solid foundation for their data strategy, maximizing the value of their data assets and gaining a competitive edge in the data-driven landscape.
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alyveconsulting · 1 year
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Technology strategy and digital transformation consulting with a human focus. We call it Human Kind Technology. Smart technology leaders put people first, so everything we do at Alyve connects powerful technology to human needs, delivering effective transformation for your business. Technology strategy and digital transformation consulting with a human focus. We call it Human Kind Technology. We align business strategy and technology at the most powerful center point – people. We’ll help you grab the opportunities, drive value and decode the complexity on your key technology decisions. We start from a genuine desire to do the right thing – for our clients, their people and their businesses. That means being open minded, curious, sharp and straight up. We’ll tease out the real issues, taking time to understand your business goals and pain points. And then we’ll make things happen. Clear strategy, actionable plans, solid alignment and reliable delivery.
You’ll deal with senior specialists who understand the strategic as well as human side of business challenges. Yes, we’re business technology experts, but we know it’s nothing without personal connection with our clients and human responses to tricky business issues.
So we bridge the gap between business, people, and technology. Employing a carefully considered approach for addressing your business problems, we give you clarity and confidence to make technology decisions, even if technology isn’t your “happy place”. And we’ll bring everyone in your business along for the journey with you.
It’s about using technology to achieve business aspirations - with people at the heart of it.
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Address: Level 10, 440 Collins St, Melbourne VIC 3000, Australia
Phone: 03 8060 4700
Website: https://www.alyve.com.au
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corpseedgroup · 1 year
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ESG stands for Environmental, Social, and Governance, and it refers to a set of criteria used to assess the sustainability and ethical impact of an investment or a company's operations. ESG environmental factors are used to evaluate a company's performance in three main areas:
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psdglobal · 2 years
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International Technology Sales Leads — PSD Global
Throughout the world, there are nations, cities, and regions that look forward to attracting new businesses and with them, new opportunities. Every year businesses seek to find new markets, international technology sales, and new customers to help grow their business. Once your company reaches a certain point, there is no other option for continued growth other than expansion. PSD Global is the lead generation economic development firm focused on helping growing firms accelerate theirs in international technology global sales and business development objectives.
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astrocafecoffee · 4 months
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💫Your future spouse's career based on your Juno persona chart 💫
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✨ For entertainment purposes only. Enjoy.✨
🌜what to check?
- just check your Industria (389) asteroid in your Juno persona chart.Find out in which house it falls in!!
Why this asteroid?
- Juno persona chart tells about your future spouse and Industria(389) asteroid is a long term career related asteroid. So this asteroid in your juno persona chart can give a insight about your future spouse's career.
🌜SOME SHORT TERMS I USED HERE :
- FS = FUTURE SPOUSE
-JPC = JUNO PERSONA CHART
Leshh go!
🌆 Industria in 1st house of JPC : 1st house represent one's identity, personality and how they present themselves to the world.This asteroid in 1st house suggests that their career may be tied to their personal identity and innovative spirit. Now some possible career of your fs-
*Entrepreneurial scientist - they may excel in entrepreneurial pursuits within the scientific community. They may innovate new technologies, products that have a significant impact in their field.
* Industry leader - they maybe known for their innovative idea and proactive attitude to their work. They can easily be a leader of their respective industry.
* visionary consultant - they may excel in their field as a respectful advisor, who offers solutions to businesses or individuals seeking guidance.
* Creative director- career in creative leadership such as creative director in advising, film, fashion, or design.
* makeup artist
* Model
* engeneering
* design/ work in media.
🌆 Industria in 2nd house of JPC : Their career may be closely related to their values resources, managing or utilising assets and their sense of stability. Some possible career of your fs -
* wealth management specialist - they helps individuals or organizations maximize their financial resources and investments through innovative and strategic approach.
* Creative Financial analyst - specialised in creative or innovative analysis methods.
* Financial innovator- innovates new financial products, services or strategies.
* asset manager
* Entrepreneurial investor
* can sing well
* accountant
🌆 Industria in 3rd house of JPC : 3rd house represents one's communication style, mental persuits, and interaction within immediate environment. When this asteroid in your 3rd house this can indicate that your fs may excel in the career of innovative communication methods or technologies. Some possible career of your fs -
* They may into journalism, media, broadcasting, or public relations where someone uses their creative ideas.
* technology writer/ blogger: their career path may involve writing / blogging about technologies or industry trends or sharing their ideas with wide audience.
* Workshop/ educational outreach programs.
* small business owner
* excel in troubleshooting skills, problem solving abilities, explaining complex concepts in simple terms.
🌆 Industria in 4th house of JPC : their career tied to their home , family roots, and emotional well-being.some possible career of your fs -
* career in real estate - specialize in designing sustainable, eco friendly, or technologically advanced buildings.
* e- commerce, consulting, freelance work.
* Family councillor or therapist - they may help individuals and families navigate challenges, fostering harmony and growth within te hone environment.
* interior designer
* Home renovation specialist
* Family owned business owner.
* childcare provider
🌆 Industria in 5th house of JPC : 5th house is associated with creativity,joy, children and hobbies. It governs one's individual approach to work, self expression and personal fulfillment. So your fs career strongly related to this area of life. Possible careers -
* creative artist/ entertainer - Excels in creative profession like music , theater , film, writing etc.
* event planer- organizing wedding, festivals or social gathering.
* teacher/ coach - inspiring or guiding others in academic subject/ sports.
* youth councillor - natural affinity to work with young people and helping them to discover their talents.
* atrs nd crafts business owner.
* fitness instructor
* dance teacher
* entertainment industry professional.
🌆 Industria in 6th house of JPC : 6th house is associated with employment, daily task, health and service to others. So possible career of your fs -
* health care professionals - career related to healthcare, nursing, doctor, medicine, and pharmacy.
* nutritionist/ dietician - helping others to improve their dietary habits , manage health condition.
* fitness trainer/ coach - motivates others to adopt healthy lifestyle.
* administrative professional - may indicate talent for efficiency, attention to detail, making career in administrative or office management appealing.
* environmental scientist
* social worker
* reasearch assistant
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🌆 Industria in 7th house of JPC : 7th house is related to marriage, buisness partnership, legal matters, and one-on-one interactions. Possible career domains of your fs-
*legal professional - career related as mediators, legal consultant, specialization in areas such as contrat law , family law or dispute resolution.
* business consultant - expertise in the area of strategy, negotiation, and partnership development.
* marriage and family therapist - helping couples navigate challenges, improve communication and strengthen their bonds through therapy or councilling sessions.
* international business manager
* foreign affair specialist
* event coordinator
*public relation specialist
* human resources manager
🌆 Industria in 8th house of JPC : 8th house is associated with themes such as mysteries, psychology, healing, emotional connection. So possible careers of your fs -
* psychologist/ psychotherapist - your fs may excel in trauma therapy, helping others to navigate profound emotional experiences , uncover hidden truth.
* forensic investigator/ crime analyst- they may be focused on uncovering hidden truths and solving mysteries.
*massage therapist - specialize in modalities such as deep tissue massage, craniosacral therapy or helping clients release emotional/ physical tension through healing.
* reasearch scientist - may excel in fields such as psychology, quantum physics, or consciousness studies.
* occultist - astrologer, tarot reader, or spiritual councillors.
* healer/ energy worker
* heal others through their respective fields. Can be. Singer too .
🌆 Industria in 9th house of JPC: 9th house is associated with themes such as higher learning, expansion of horizons , seeking truth, broadening one's perspective through travel/ exploration. Possible careers of your fs -
* international relations specialist - involve promoting international cooperation, resolving conflicts, forming mutual understanding between nations and cultures.
* spiritual teacher/ guru- your fs may pursue careers as spiritual teachers, gurus, mentors, guiding others on their spiritual journey.
* tour guide
* philosopher
* religious leader - may pursue careers as priests, ministers, guiding and supporting communities in matters of faith and spiritual growth.
* global NGO worker
* foreign language teacher
🌆 Industria in 10th house of JPC: 10th house is associated with themes such as career aspirations, social status, reputation, and professional achievements. This asteroid influences the individual's approach to career, public image, authority, ambition. So possible careers of your fs -
* media personality/ influencer - television hosts , journalist, bloggers, social media influencer , reaching a wide audience.
* creative director/ artist - artist, designer, performers.
* CEO
* startup founder, business owner, or self employed professionals.
* legal professional/ lawyer
* educational administrator
🌆 Industria in 11th house of JPC: when your industria asteroid in this house your fs may excel in the career of social network, group affiliation, humanitarian causes, collaboration etc. So possible careers of your fs -
* social entrepreneur - creates innovative solutions to adress social challenges.
* Tech entrepreneur, start-up founder.
* content creator - social media influencers, bloggers, using their platforms to inspire/ educate peoples.
* environment activist
* advocate
* community organizer
* designing educational platforms , or promoting digital literacy.
🌆 Industria in 12th house of JPC: 12th house is often associated with hidden strengths, spirituality, and working behind the scenes. So possible careers of your fs -
* they might work in reserch and development, data analysis or logistical planning behind the scenes.
* astro- spiritual researcher
* music industry
* astrologer
*song writer.
* mystical or spiritual advisor.
* environmental conservationist.
⚡ Note : these are only some possibilities of careers of your fs. And guys check the degrees to , it's like cheery on top 💌
🌜Don't forget to check my other observations too 👀
That's it guys , see you soon 💝
- piko 💖
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sequoyastrategies · 3 months
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Expert Government Consulting Firm
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Discover an expert government consulting firm providing strategic advisory services to federal and state agencies. Our services include policy analysis, regulatory compliance, and program management. Visit Sequoya Strategies to learn more about our comprehensive solutions for government entities.
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aestrategies · 26 days
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#Medical Consultation &Treatment in India for International Patientsthrough Buddha Healthcare#Indians have access to some of the top hospitals and physicians in the world. They can also receive therapies that are unavailable elsewher#homoeopathy#naturopathy#and traditional Chinese medicine are among India's most prevalent forms of medical care. People frequently utilise these alternative medici#influenza#and headaches.#Additionally#they are utilised to treat cancer and heart disease#which are significantly more severe illnesses. Indians have access to some of the most advanced medical procedures and technologies. India#for instance#has some of the greatest cancer facilities in the world and is developing numerous innovative cancer treatments.#Medical Consultation in India: Medical care in India has advanced significantly during the past several years. Patients today have numerous#whether they prefer conventional or alternative treatments. Ayurveda is one of India's most prominent traditional medical practices.#Ayurveda is a medical system founded on the principle that the body should be in equilibrium. It employs numerous strategies to restore bal#Treatment in India for International Patients:#International patients are increasingly interested in receiving medical treatment in India. This is because the quality of care is comparab#The country has many highly skilled physicians and nurses#and the facilities are modern and well-stocked. In addition#the Indian government is investing heavily in the health care system#which makes treatments more affordable.#Numerous types of medical care are available in Buddha Health care#from cosmetic surgery to heart surgery. International patients can receive the care they require since expenses are minimal and the quality#Get More Details:Online Consultation for Treatment and Medicines in India#Youtube
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BOYCOTTING FOR PALESTINE
The Official BDS Boycott Targets
Campaigns
Block the boat: End maritime arms transfer to Israel
Ban Apartheid Israel from Sports (FIFA, Olympics)
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Consumer Boycotts - a complete boycott of these brands
Disney (SPECIFICALLY MARVEL)
Intel
Axa
Puma
Carrefour
HP
Cevron
Caltex
Israeli produce
Re/max
Ahava
Texaco
Siemens
Sodastream
Intel
Organic Boycott Targets - boycotts not initiated by BDS but still complete boycott of these brands
Macdonald's
Dominos
Papa Johns
Burger King
Pizza Hut
Wix
Divestments and exclusion - pressure governments, institutions, investment funds, city councils, etc. to exclude from procurement contracts and investments and to divest from these
Elbit Systems
CAF
Volvo
CAT
Barclays
JCB
HD Hyundai
TKH Security
HikVision
Pressure - boycotts when reasonable alternatives exist, as well as lobbying, peaceful disruptions, and social media pressure.
Google
Amazon
AirBnb
Booking.Com
Expedia
Teva
Here are some companies that strongly support Israel (but are not Boycott targets). There is no ethical consumption under capitalism and boycotting is a political strategy - not a moral one. If you did try to boycott every supporter of Israel you would struggle to survive because every major company supports Israel (as a result of attempting to keep the US economy afloat), that being said, the ones that are being boycotted by masses and not already on the organic boycott list are coloured red.
5 Star Chocolate
7Days
7Up
Apple
Arsenal FC
ALDO
Arket
Axe
Accenture
Ariel
Adidas
ActionIQ
Aquafina
Amika
AccuWeather
Activia
Adobe
Aesop
Azrieli Group
American Eagle
Amway Corp
Axel Springer
American Airlines
American Express
Atlassian
AdeS
Aquarius
Ayataka
Audi
Barqs
Bain & Company
Bayer
Bank Leumi
Bank Hapoalim
BCG (Boston Consulting Group)
Biotherm
Bershka
Bloomberg
BMW
Boeing
Booz Allen Hamilton
Burberry
Bath & Body Works
Bosch
Bristol Myers Squibb
Capri Holdings
Costa
Carita Paris
CareTrust REIT
Caterpillar
Coach
Cappy
Caudalie
CeraVe
Check Point Software Technologies
Cerelac
Chanel
Chapman and Cutler
Channel
Cheerios
Cheetos
Chevron
Chips Ahoy!
Christina Aguilera
Citi Bank
Carrefour
Codral
Cosco
Canada Dry
Citi
Clal Insurance Enterprises
Clean & Clear
Clearblue
Clinique
Champion
Club Social
Coca Cola
Coffee Mate
Colgate
Comcast
Compass
Caesars
Conde Nast
Cooley LLP
Costco
Côte d’Or
Crest
CV Starr
CyberArk Software
Cytokinetics
Crayola
Cra Z Art
Daimler
Dr Pepper
Del Valle
Daim
Doctor Pepper
Dasani
Doritos
Daz
Dior
Dell
Deloitte
Delta Air Lines
Deutsche Bank
Deutsche Telekom
DHL Group
David Off
Disney
DLA Piper
Domestos
Domino’s
Douglas Elliman
Downy
Duane Morris LLP
Dreft Baby Detergent & Laundry Products
Dreyer’s Grand Ice Cream
eBay
Edelman
Eli Lilly
Evian
Empyrean
Ericsson
Endeavor
EPAM Systems
Estee Lauder
Elbit Systems
EY
Forbes
Facebook
Fairlife
Fanta
First International Bank of Israel
Fiverr
Funyuns
Fuze
Fox News
Fritos
Fox Corp
Gatorade
Gamida Cell
GE
Glamglow
General Catalyst
General Motors
Georgia
Gold Peak
Genesys
Goldman Sachs
Grandma’s Cookies
Garnier
Guess
Greenberg Traurig
Guerlain
Givenchy
H&M
Hadiklaim
Huggies
Hanes
HSBC
Head & Shoulders
Hersheys
Herbert Smith Freehills
Hewlett Packard
Hasbro
Hyundai
Henkel
Harel Insurance Investment & Financial Services
Hewlett Packard Enterprise
HubSpot
Huntsman Corp
IBM
Innocent
Insight Partners
Inditex Group
IT Cosmetics
Instacart
Intermedia
Interpublic Group
Instagram
ICL Group
Intuit
Jazwares
Jefferies
John Lewis
JP Morgan Chase
Jaguar
Johnson & Johnson
JPMorgan
Kenon Holdings
Kate Spade
Kirks’
Kinley Water
KKR
KFC
KKW Cosmetics
Kurkure
Keebler
Kolynos
Kaufland
Kevita
Knorr
KPMG
Lemonade
Lidl
Loblaws
Levi Strauss
Louis Vuitton
Life Water
Levi’s
Levi’s Strauss
LinkedIn
Land Rover
L’Oréal
Lego
Levissima
Live Nation Entertainment
Lufthansa
La Roche-Posay
Lipton
Major League Baseball
Manpower Group
Marriott
Marsh McLennan
Maison Francis Kurkdjian
Mastercard
Mattel
Minute Maid
Monster
Monki
Mainz FC
Mellow Yellow
Mountain Dew
Migdal Insurance
Marks & Spencer
Mirinda
McDermott Will & Emery
Motorola
McKinsey
Merck
Michael Kors
Mizrahi Tefahot Bank
Merck KGaA
Micheal Kors
Milkybar
Maybelline
Mount Franklin
Meta
MeUndies
Mattle
Microsoft
Munchies
Miranda
Morgan Lewis
Moroccanoil
Morgan Stanley
MRC
Nasdaq
Naughty Dog
Nivea
Next
NOS
Nabisco
Nutter Butter
No Frills
National Basketball Association
National Geographic
Nintendo
New Balance
Nutella
Newtons
NVIDIA
Netflix
Nescafe
Nestle
Nesquick
Nike
Nussbeisser
Oreo
Oral B
Old spice
Oysho
Omeprazole
Oceanspray
Opodo
P&G (Procter and Gamble)
Pampers
Pull & Bear
Pepsi
Pfizer
Popeyes
Parker Pens
Philadelphia Cream Cheese
Pizza Hut
Powerade
Purina
Phoenix Holdings
Propel
Ponds
Pure Leaf Green Tea
Power Action Wipes
PwC
Prada
Perry Ellis
Prada Eyewear
Pringles
Payoneer
Procter & Gamble
Purelife
Pureology
Quaker Oats
Reddit
Royal Bank of Canada
Ruffles
Revlon
Ralph Lauren
Ritz
Rolls Royce
Royal
S.Pellegrino
Sabra Hummus
Sabre
Sony
SAP
Simply
Smart Water
Sprite
Schwabe
Shell
Soda Stream
Siemens
StreamElements
Schweppes
Sunsilk
Signal
Skittles
Smart Food
Sobe
Smarties
Sephora
Sam’s Club
Superbus
Samsung
Sodastream
Sunkist
Scotiabank
Sour Patch Kids
Starbucks
Sadaf
Stride
Subway
Tang
Tate’s Bake Shop
The Body Shop
Tesco
Twitch
The Ordinary
Tim Hortons
Tostitos
Timberland
Topo Chico
Tapestry
Tropicana
Tommy Hilfiger
Tommy Hilfiger Toiletries
Turbos
Tom Ford
Taco Bell
Triscuit
TUC
Twix
Tottenham Hotspurs
Twisties
Tripadvisor
Uber
Uber Eats
Urban Decay
Upfield
Unilever
Vicks
Victoria’s Secret
V8
Vaseline
Vitaminwater
Volkswagen
Volvo
Walmart
Wegmans
WhatsApp
Waitrose
Woolworths
Wheat Thins
Walkers
Warner Brothers
Warner Chilcot
Warner Music
Wells Fargo
Winston & Strawn
WingStreet
Wissotzky Tea
WWE
Wheel Washing Powder
Wrigley Company
YouTube
Yvel
Yum Brands
Ziyad
Zara
Zim Shipping
Ziff Davis
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seat-safety-switch · 10 months
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Orbital mechanics: not my cup of tea. Don't get me wrong, I like it when things go around and around in a circle. The faster the better. Key word there is "circle." Orbits involve that oh-so-complicated third dimension, and that's one dimension more than a tire has. Or, at least, a new tire, not that I know what those are like.
Out there in space is another one of those tragedy of the commons deals. Folks park their garbage in low- to medium-orbit, it sails around, sometimes it clonks into other stuff. Scientists are afraid that if too much stuff clonks together, then there will be an impenetrable cloud of rocket-shredding dust surrounding the planet and we'll never be able to leave Earth ever again. Parking. I know a lot about parking, I told myself, so I drove over to NASA to help them out with the whole thing.
"Space Junk Removal" is what it said on the side of my battered 1993 Econoline E250 as I pulled onto the sidewalk outside the JPL and left it running. You really don't want to shut off a van like this, not when it's been on the highway for this long, because the battery is more than a little flat and the chances of the engine ever restarting are just slightly smaller than that of discovering extraterrestrial life. In the back of my van are several 1980s Shop-Vacs, American civilization's sole contribution to humanity. These babies are great: they will suck up a puddle, or a mouse nest, or a bunch of spilled gasoline, or empty a bee hive if you get the little narrow cone attachment for it.
Of course, the modern Shop-Vac sucks ass. It was sold to a foreign investment firm, at which point they started to lose every feature that made it good except for the name. A new one will last you about twenty minutes, which means it's definitely not appropriate to chuck onto the top of a departing heavy-lift rocket, hence the classics pulled from my hoard. This kind of knowledge, and this sort of procurement, is what they pay high-powered government consultants like myself to take care of.
As I show the assembled scientists, who assuredly do understand orbital mechanics, I see that I am winning over the crowd, little by little. Even the most skeptical math-haver is realizing that my strategy of "put a rubber band around the power switch" is totally plausible. By this time tomorrow, we'll have just one last piece of space junk up there in orbit, and it's bright yellow so it'll be a lot harder to hit. If we can find a long enough extension cord, we should be able to tug real hard on it and reuse the Shop-Vac for the next mission, too, as long as someone's willing to catch it.
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