#grabbing myself by the collar of my shirt: write you bastard!!! write!!!

[taniushka12]

me every night at 2 am, every single time: what if i write? what if i kept writing?

[darkmulti]

King of Hell

BTS

Series : part 1

Pairing: demon!Jungkook x human!Female Reader x demon!Taehyung x demon!Jimin

Genre: Angst & Smut

Word Count: 4.3K

CONTAINS DARK THEMES!

PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! READ WARNINGS CAREFULLY!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

A/N: SHAIWJW, IVE BEEN “WRITING” THIS FIC SINCE LAST YEAR, HOLY FUCK. Anyways I hope you enjoy this shitty story:)

These are the warnings for the entire series!! This is a dark fanfic that is not meant for everyone! If these warnings trigger you, please leave!!

Smut Warning(s): multiple smuts, cockwarming, face slapping, saliva kink, thigh riding, humiliation, heavy degradation, dacryphilia kink, threesome, anal, blowjob, somnophilia kink, mirror sex, choking, spanking, hair pulling, rough sex, mix of ddlg, sleep sex, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, squirting, begging, small bits of praising, marking, fear kink, cum shots, cum eating

Other Warning(s): possessive!Jungkook, blood, murder, torture, physical abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, submissive reader

I’m probably missing something...

THIS FIC CONTAINS NON CONSENSUAL SEX! PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew this was wrong. But did she care?

No.

The girl laid supine on her boss's desk, sore legs bound around his torso, caging him in. His hand gently kneads her sensitive breast, earning soft moans from her. She grabbed his tie and tugged on it until he leaned down and passionately kissed her. The man gently pulled her up and swiftly wrapped his shapely arms around her body. She pulled away first, eager to catch her breath.

The excessive tension in the overheated room was unbearable. Her head remained low in embarrassment while her boss burned her with his gaze. To break up the tension, she awkwardly clears her throat and hops off his desk. For some reason, she desperately wanted to apologize but stopped herself. From what she remembers, her boss was undressing her with his eyes, so she let him have it. Deciding she’s not going to apologize, she frantically pulled up her skirt and opened the door to leave.

However, her boss was faster than her and instantly closed it again. He cupped her cheeks and attempted to kiss her again, but she stepped away. “I’m sorry, Dr. Kim. It’s getting late and my apartment is far from here, so I better get going. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Taehyung scowled at her. It was insulting to him. No one has ever rejected his touch. He grabbed the hem of her shirt and flung her onto his desk. She groaned in pain, protecting her injured side. Taehyung clutched her face and attached his lips onto hers, kissing her like it was his last time. She instinctively kicked her legs at him, but that made him more belligerent.

“Stop! Leave me alone!” She yelled, throwing her hands against his chest, trying to get him off. Unfortunately, she was no match for him. Taehyung pinned her down without a struggle and pulled her skirt down again. “I tried being nice, princess. But now you’ve gotten on my nerves.” He growled, forcing his cock in, despite her screaming at him to stop.

A sadistic smirk appears on his face as he picks up his pace. His warm cock fitted inside of her perfectly. It was like they were made for each other. He closed his eyes and threw his head back, enjoying the feeling to the fullest. While Taehyung was on cloud nine, the girl was bawling her eyes out underneath him. “T- Taehyung! Stop! It h- hurts!” She sobbed uncontrollably, breath hitching. Her vision started to blur as she felt her energy drain out of her writhing body. She's never endured this much pain.

Taehyung grunts as he pushes himself forward one last time before cumming in her. “Fuck! You feel so good, baby.” He leaned down and licked her tears away. He then created a trail of hickeys along her jawline, down to her collar bone. “How about another round, babe?”

“No, no! Please, no! It hurts!” She hiccuped, putting her hands together. “Please, Dr. Kim. I’ll do anything except for this! I c- can give you money… if you’d like.” Taehyung couldn’t help himself. Watching her beg for mercy was a turn on. “I don’t need your filthy money, slut. Now stay still or else you're fired.”

He ruthlessly entered in again. She let out a painful whimper but didn’t dare to move because her job was on the line. Taehyung held her hips down and quickened his pace. The helpless girl was fighting off the urge to push him away with all her remaining strength. Soon enough, her legs trembled on their own as ripples of forced pleasure went through her body. More tears gathered in her fearful eyes. A minute passed, she was still sprawled on his desk, catching her breath. “C- can I pl- please leave now?” She faintly whispered, on the verge of passing out.

Taehyung pulled her ragged skirt up then pulled her upright. He moved her hair out of her face and tenderly caressed her cheek, admiring her face. “You won’t tell anyone about this, understand?” She sobbed but nodded her head. “Good… get your stuff, I’ll drive you home.”

“No, sir. It’s okay. I’ll call a taxi. You can go home.” Taehyung’s eyes darkened. He grabbed her neck and squeezed it. “You’re making me repeat myself, Y/N. You out of all people should know how much I hate doing that. Now for the last time, get your shit and I’ll drive you home.” He took a step back and followed her to her office. She quickly grabbed her purse and jacket, then they both headed out.

The car ride home was silent. She didn't dare to speak a word. Not after what he did to her. All she could do is keep her head down and play with the hem of her shirt. Taehyung glanced over at her here and there, but he too didn’t speak a word. He looked in his rear view mirror and spotted his best friend sitting in the back, staring at “his” girl. “Keep your eyes off of her. She’s already taken, Jungkook.”

Y/N flinched when Taehyung started talking. “Huh? Are you talking to me?” She asked, confused. Red flags were popping up but she couldn’t exactly jump onto the highway. She bit down on her lip and waited for a response. “Took you a while to detect my presence, Taehyung. I thought you could do better.” She immediately turned around and saw a man sitting in the middle seat, legs spread apart. His long, jet-black hair almost veiled his eyes, and he was covered in tattoos. “Who the hell are you?!” She slightly yells, clearly startled by the man. “I wouldn’t raise my voice if I were you, sweetheart. Anyone who disrespects me will regret it for the rest of their life and afterlife.” Jungkook mockingly said, confusing the girl even more. She turned to Taehyung for an explanation, but he simply rested his hand on her thigh. “Calm down, angel. I won’t let him hurt you.”

“Bold of you to say that, Taehyung. You really think you can take me on?” Jungkook challenged.

“To keep her by my side, I’d knock you over without hesitation.” Taehyung said with a dull expression on his face.

“Don’t tell me you have feelings for this girl. Man, you keep letting me down. First living in the mortal world and now, falling in love. What’s next? Marriage? Family planning? Pathetic, Kim Taehyung. If Jimin were here, he’d be laughing his ass off.”

“If you have nothing nice to say, leave. I thought you didn’t enjoy the mortal world.”

“I don’t, I just wanted to see what my dearest friend is up to. I’m astonished, however. You managed to keep that unpleasant side of yours a secret.”

Taehyung glanced at his girl. Her face was pale and if you looked closely, she was shaking. Taehyung stroked her thigh in a soothing manner, signinally her to calm down. Out of fear, she clings to Taehyung’s hand tightly. This didn’t go unnoticed by Jungkook. He sensed her fear the moment she sat in the car. He enjoyed watching her crumble apart in the passenger seat. She looked vulnerable and afraid, he wanted to ruin her innocent looking face.

“Stop gawking at my girlfriend, Kook. Don’t you have anything better to do?”

“No, I actually don’t. Next month, I’ll be announced king, but until then, I’ll hang around you and this lovely princess.”

From that point on, Taehyung knew he couldn’t leave her alone. If he did, Jungkook would 100% hurt her or even worse, mark her as his own. Jungkook’s one selfish bastard. He will always put himself before others. Taehyung immediately knew Jungkook was attracted to her; he could tell just by observing the way Jungkook looked at her. But he wasn’t going to let Jungkook have her too. Originally, Taehyung was supposed to be king, but Jungkook was stubborn and wanted to fight for the title. Taehyung didn’t want to fight his best friend, so he willingly surrendered.

30 minutes later, he finally arrived at her apartment. She quietly thanked Taehyung for the ride, then got out. However, Taehyung turned off his engine and got out of his car. “I’m staying with you tonight.” Without question, she nodded her head and grabbed Taehyung’s hand. She was terrified of what was going on. Of course she wanted an explanation, but Taehyung seemed to be protecting her. Therefore, she thought it’d be the best to stay with him until she knows exactly what’s going on.

She opened her apartment door and set her purse and jacket on the table. “I’m gonna go shower… Make yourself at home... I guess.” She mumbled the last part and headed to her bathroom until Taehyung stopped her. “Mind if I join?” Taehyung hinted he needed to talk to her so she said yes. Meanwhile, Jungkook plopped down on the couch with his arm behind his head. “Got any bourbon?” He yelled and she responded, “the cabinet behind you has all the liquor I own.”

Taehyung pulled her into the bathroom and hugged her tightly. “I’m sorry! I fucked everything up for you.”

“Taehyung, what are you talking about?” She worriedly asked. Taehyung looked at the door then quickly turned the shower on. “We have to be quiet. He might hear us.” “Please tell me what’s going on! Who is he? How did he get inside your car?!” She whispers as calmly as she can. “His name is Jeon Jungkook. Next month, he'll be announced king of hell. He’s a very powerful demon and currently, he’s looking for his queen. Someone who can be the mother of his children and someone he can somewhat tolerate. Y/N, he has his eyes on you. You need stay around me, so I can protect you. I know I hurt you not too long ago, but trust me on this one. Jungkook has anger issues and if he gets a hold of you, you will be his punching bag for eternity.”

“Demon? King of hell? Are you hearing yourself right now?” She whispers louder, being unable to control her anger and concern. “I’m not lying, Y/N. How else did he get into my car. Do you remember our conversation in the car? He said he didn't like the human world.”

“What about you? What are you?!”

“I’m a demon too.”

“Prove it because I don’t believe-” Taehyung towers over her and his eyes turn black. His teeth become insanely sharp and black, thick horns start coming out of his head. She stood there, staring at his true form. She reached out and touched his cheek which was freezing cold. “Demons are real?” She faintly whispered. “Take your clothes off. He’s coming.” Taehyung’s out of his clothes in a blink of an eye but she didn’t want to remove her clothes. Taehyung heard Jungkook getting closer, so he ripped her clothes off and pushed her in the shower. He followed behind and pinned her against the wall, kissing her forcefully. “He’s looking through the door, pretend you're enjoying it so we're unsuspicious.” She surprisingly listens and returns the kiss. Taehyung picks her up, and she wraps her legs around his waist, allowing him to enter her. “Moan loud for me, baby.” The girl digs her nails into his shoulder and releases her needy moans.

Jungkook was standing in the door way, watching Taehyung fuck the living out of her. What he would do to be in his position. A part of Jungkook was telling him to kill Taehyung and take his place. However, the other half of him knew that it would create a war between the Kim’s and the Jeon’s. Centuries of feuds have been going on between the two families and it finally ended when Taehyung’s father made a peace offering and Jungkook’s dad happily accepted. From there on, Taehyung and Jungkook grew up together as best friends. Jungkook stopped himself from making a big mistake but continued watching the two fuck.

Taehyung came in her one last time before pulling out and cleaning her up with some water. She clung onto Taehyung because she had no more feeling in her legs. Her clit was burning from the overstimulation, but she wasn’t complaining because it felt so good. He carried her back to her room and wiped her body off with a towel. Jungkook went back to the couch and tried to relax his mind. For some reason, her moans kept playing in his head and before he knew it, he was hard. “Shit!” He angrily muttered.

After tucking Y/N in, Taehyung came to the living room to see what Jungkook was doing. Jungkook was leaning on the balcony railing, staring at the full moon. “If you want, you can crash at my place.” Taehyung said, fiddling with his house keys. “Nah, I think I’ll stay right here… By the way, your girlfriend is hot. If she ever wants to have a threesome, tell her-”

“She doesn’t, Jungkook. One man is good enough for her.”

“That’s too bad. Well, tell her if she gets tired of you she can come to me any time and anywhere.” Jungkook cockishly smiled, raising one eyebrow. “Stop with the jokes, will you?” Taehyung's voice got deeper because he’s had enough of Jungkook’s irritating comments. “I’m going to bed now. Sleep on the couch or wander on the street, I don’t care. Just don’t kill anyone.” Taehyung said before leaving Jungkook alone on the balcony. “I'll try not to.”

Taehyung opened the door and saw Y/N struggling to fall asleep. He quickly got into her bed and pulled her into his comforting embrace. “Shhh, it’s okay. I’m here now.” He carefully laid her face on his chest then ran his fingers through her smooth hair. “I love you so much. You don’t even know how long I’ve been watching you.”

“How long?” She whispers back. “First year of university was when I first saw you. Ever since then, I’ve been looking out for you.” She giggled and wrapped her arms around his body. “Why didn’t you talk to me?” Taehyung smiled, remembering why. “I’m a little shy.” She climbed up his chest and kissed him on the lips. “Is he gone?” She asked, tracing lines on Taehyung’s chest. “He’s gonna crash on your couch. Sorry about him, sweetheart.”

“It’s okay.”

Soon, silence took over the room and the girl fell asleep on Taehyung’s chest. Taehyung continued to play with her hair and trace her back until the door slightly opened. He saw Jungkook in the doorway and sighed. “What do you want now?”

“Her.”

Everything happened rapidly. The door swung open and all Taehyung saw were 2 red eyes staring him down. Before he could react, Jungkook knocked him out and pinned the girl’s body down. He entered into her sore cunt, causing her to wake up. As soon as she saw Jungkook’s face, she started to scream and fight. “Stop! Taehyung, help me!” She shook Taehyung’s body, but he was unresponsive. “What did you do to him?!”

“Shut up and cooperate with me or else I’ll take you to hell.” Jungkook swiftly got into a better position and let his raging boner free. The bed frame began banging against the wall harder and harder each time. Y/N was in a state of shock. She didn’t know what to do. Jungkook viciously thrusted into her and held her down by her neck. “No! Please! Stop!” Jungkook flipped her around and took her from behind. He spanked her ass multiple times, leaving his hand print on her skin. He pulled out and got up from the bed, dragging her along with him. “Look at yourself, you fucking slut.” Jungkook pulled her hair and forced her to look at herself in the mirror. “Watch me fuck you, slut. If I see your eyes aren’t open, I’ll slit your family's throat and send you pictures.”

“No! No! Please don’t! I- I won’t close my eyes, I promise.” Jungkook thrusted in again and had no mercy on her. Tears were rushing down her face but didn't once close her eyes. Jungkook deliberately went faster seeing if she could handle the pain. It took a lot out of her, but she didn’t want to put her family in danger so she listened to every order. Jungkook continued fucking her hard. He could sense the fear that was taking over her body. She was shaking and silently crying, but it merely encouraged him to go faster. At last, he pushed his whole length in and came deep inside her. She squirted around him and collapsed on the floor. “No more, please” “Get on your knees, now!” She whimpered but got on her knees. Jungkook didn’t waste a second to shove his whole cock in her mouth. He grabbed her face and started fucking her throat as fast as he could. After some time, hot cum was running down her throat as he finally pulled out. The poor girl was choking on her own saliva when Jungkook clutched her hair and spat in her mouth.

Jungkook wanted to go for another round, but someone hit his head, knocking him out. Jungkook fell to the floor, revealing a conscious Taehyung. He immediately picked her off the floor and hugged her tightly. She started sobbing on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, baby. We have to leave.” He quietly spoke. Taehyung quickly cleaned her up and gave her some warm clothes to wear. He carried her out of the apartment and into his car. He quickly dialed someone’s number and stepped on the gas.

“Hello?”

“Jimin! Take your fucking brother back to hell. He’s lost his fucking mind. He knocked me unconscious and raped my girlfriend.”

“Holy shit! Where is he?”

Taehyung quickly informs Jimin of Jungkook’s location.

“I’ll pick him up. Just find a safe place, Tae.”

“Yeah, I will.”

—————————————————-

After receiving the call from Taehyung, Jimin rushed to Jungkook. He was still on the floor, passed out. “How hard did you hit him, Taehyung?” Jimin muttered before bringing Jungkook back to hell and chaining him up.

Jungkook woke up with his head pounding. He groaned and looked at his surroundings. “What the hell?” He spoke in a raspy voice. “Wake up, brother. Taehyung informed me you were up to no good.” Right, that bastard Taehyung, he thought. Memories of last night came rushing to his head and he couldn't help but smile. “Where’s Y/N?” Jungkook asked, replaying last night in his head. “Y/N? As in Taehyung’s girlfriend?”

“Don’t call her Taehyung’s girlfriend. Soon, she’ll find her way back to me.”

“Brother, I knew you were absurd, but fucking Taehyung’s girlfriend? Really?”

“You’ve never seen her before, so you won’t understand. But as soon as you get close to her, I ensure you, you won’t be capable of controlling yourself.”

“I’ll see for myself.” Jimin said before getting up and closing the heavy metal door, leaving Jungkook alone.

————————————

1 month later

After the incident with Jungkook, Y/N and Taehyung got into a serious relationship. Every single day, Taehyung worked on becoming stronger to protect his beloved. He felt remorseful for placing her in this kind of situation, so the least he could do is protect her. Y/N was deeply in love with Taehyung. At first, she kept telling herself she only wants him around so he can keep her safe, however she couldn’t help herself. She let go of what he did in the past and focused on the present.

“Taehyung! I’m home!” Taehyung pops his head from the kitchen and she swiftly runs into his embrace. “I missed you.” She pouted her lips and kissed him. “Guess what?”

“What?”

“I missed you more.” She giggles at his response and pecks him all over his face. Taehyung picked her up and sat on the couch with her on his lap. A sweet make out turned into a heated one quickly. She tugged on his shirt then removed it for him and he did the same for her. “How about we try something different?” Taehyung placed her on one of his thighs and placed both of his hands on her ass. “Ride my thigh, angel.” She started moving slowly, unsure of how it might feel. Once her clit started getting some stimulation, she kept going faster and faster, falling apart in Taehyung’s arms. She clenched and came around nothing while Taehyung attacked her tits with his mouth. He left a trail of hickeys all over her upper chest. Taehyung came in his pants just from watching her and feeling her juices leak onto his thigh.

They both eagerly kissed each other until Y/N pulled away. “Can we go out for dinner? I don’t feel like cooking today.” She panted, playing with Taehyung’s hair. “Of course we can.”

——————————————-

The long-awaited day had finally come. The crowd was larger than it ever had been. Everyone came down to watch the ritual and pay their respects to the new king. Torches were pointed downward, symbolizing death. In the middle of the stadium, there was a massive platform. On the platform, there was a throne, a crown, a pentagram and a tied up angel for the sacrifice. Jimin and his father stood side by side, wearing black suits. The crowd went silent when everyone detected a compelling, cold presence. Jungkook revealed himself from the shadows in his true form. He was shirtless with only a thin fabric wrapped around his waist. He walked to the platform and laid down on the pentagram. Everyone knew, this was the beginning of a new chapter.

Moments later Jungkook was screaming in pain. His body became a portal for all the previous kings. They were passing their abilities down to him, resulting in Jungkook's chest and back being burned. Everyone in the audience stood up and started chanting. Jungkook sat upright and headed towards the angel who was pleading for mercy. He manipulated his sharp nail and slit their throat, killing them in a matter of seconds. He attached his mouth onto their neck as the chanting got louder. The warm, thick liquid gliding down his throat was incredibly addictive. Jungkook could feel his power triple in seconds. He tossed the deceased angel away like a rag doll then faced his people. He stretched his wings and grew out his horns.

“I am honoured to be your new king. Thank you to everyone who came to watch the ritual. Please know I’ve acknowledged your presence and respect. I greatly appreciate it.”

Everyone applauded for Jungkook. Surviving the ritual requires an enormous amount of strength. Jungkook has proved to everyone that he is worthy of being king.

——————————-

“Are you ready? I feel like I’ve been waiting forever.” Taehyung said, sitting down on the couch. He was dressed up in his black suit and tie, looking flawless like always. 5 minutes had passed, and he still hadn’t heard a word from her. “Angel? What’s taking so long? Do you need help with your dress?” Taehyung walked back to their shared bedroom only to see Jungkook holding her down with his sharp nail on her neck. “I’m giving you two options, Taehyung. Let me have her, and I won’t hurt her or, she dies, I take her back to hell and torture her for eternity. What will it be, Taehyung?” All Taehyung saw was red. Without realizing, he changed into his demon form and attacked Jungkook. He managed to get him off of her, but strength and power wise, Taehyung was no match. Jungkook punched him over and over, until his nose and jaw was broken.

“Fuck you, Jungkook. I let you have everything! I gave it all up for you because I wanted to be a good friend! One good thing happens in my life and you fucking take it away!” Taehyung yelled, managing to punch him one last time. Y/N sprinted off the bed and rushed to Taehyung’s side. She didn’t care that Jungkook was there, all she cared about was Taehyung. “Taehyung! You’re bleeding! What should I do?! Should I call the ambulance?!” Taehyung looked into her eyes and his heart softened. Tears were streaming down her face. She was actually worried about him. Even after he revealed his true form, she stayed by his side. Does that mean she loves him? Taehyung slightly smiled. “I’ll be alright, love. I’ll heal by tomorrow.”

“No, you won’t.” Jungkook interjected as he got up and kicked Taehyung’s head. “STOP!” She screamed, protecting Taehyung with her body. She wrapped her arms around his head so Jungkook couldn't kick him. “C- can’t you see he’s hurt?! Leave him alone!” She bawled. “I’m not going to leave him alone until he makes a decision. So Taehyung, what will it be?” Taehyung wrapped his arms around her waist, refusing to let her go. “There are billions of other people in the world. Why do you want MY girlfriend?!”

“Don’t question me, Taehyung. Now give me her, or I’ll have to forcefully take her.”

Y/N started sobbing on Taehyung’s shoulder. “Please don’t take him away from me. I love him. Please don’t.” She begged, her tears staining Taehyung’s shirt. Jungkook was slowly starting to lose his temper. He massaged his temples then grabbed her arm, prying her off and away from Taehyung. “If you don’t come back with me to hell, I’ll kill Taehyung right here right now. Or better yet, I’ll make you help me kill him.”

Y/N began to shake. “Please don’t hurt him. I’ll go back with you.”

“No! Y/N he’s going to hurt you! Jungkook you can kill me but leave her alone after I die. You break the promise and will die too.”

“No, Taehyung! I can’t let you die! You can’t leave me alone!” Jungkook pushed the girl back and kicked Taehyung in the stomach. “If you want her so badly, you’re going to have to fight me.” With that, Jungkook turned around, picked her up and disappeared. “NO! Shit! Shit!” Taehyung cursed at himself.

Once again, he failed to protect his love.

——————————————————————————

Uhhh, hi🤠

This is terrible and I’m sorry if it doesn’t live up to your expectations. I completely understand because many people have been waiting for this fic to release and it’s not even good. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed what part 1 has to offer. At first, I didn’t want to make this into a series because I’m very inconsistent. However, I had a sickening plot in mind that I really wanted to do, so the next best option was to make this into a series.

I know, not a lot of Jimin was in this, but the next couple of parts will have him.

xoxo,

naina❣️

[mmvalentine]

hey so i have a prompt request? feyre and rhys hooking up under the mountain, there's like not a lot of good fics for this so i was wondering if you'd write them please. maybe like hate sex and rhys CoN persona? thank you also you're writing is so great :)

I am very amused by how my mood affects my writing. When I was first sent this, I had just finished writing my starfall/ first kiss scene and the thought of my loves UTM was unbearable. Today I am angry at everyone and actually, kinky hate sex seems right up my alley... so cheers to us dear anon. Hold on tight.

Fuck You, Feyre Darling

I landed on the floor of my cell for what seemed like the thousandth time. My grazed palms caught the stone, and the rumble of the bars sliding closed vibrated in my bones. I pulled my knees into my chest, and just lay there, seeing nothing. 

There were nights that I had spent crying, and nights that I had raged. Today, I was just tired.

That is not to say, of course, that the despair was no longer there. It was just that my body was spent, and I was now too exhausted to feel anything at all. In some ways, it was such a relief, that I wouldn't have to drown in those emotions. In other ways, the emptiness stretched out like a desert and it swallowed me more completely than my feelings ever had.

I didn't care.

I couldn't tell you how much time passed, but at some point I became aware of Rhysand sitting against the wall, just watching me silently. Somewhere far away, I wondered why he was here all the time. Why anyone would spend a second of their free time in a vile little cell with me. And then I stopped caring again.

"Well," he said, "it's quieter. But I don't think it's better."

I didn't know what he was talking about, but I didn't ask. Rhys explained anyway. 

"I mean usually with you it's cry, cry, cry. My arm hurts, I miss Tamlin, the tasks are hard, blah, blah blah blah, blah. I have to say the silence is not an unpleasant change."

I glared at him, but couldn't quite muster the energy to say anything. He'd probably get bored and leave anyway.

"Of course, now I have no one to play with," Rhys went on. "I can't very well spar with myself, can I?" He eyed me for a minute, and I turned away again.

Rhys stood then, and wandered over to me. "Come on now, get up off the floor. You're not this pathetic." "I'm not pathetic," I said. "I'm just exhausted. Leave me alone." "No," was all Rhys said, and then he was picking me up under the arms and hauling me up. I had no strength to resist.

I swayed on my feet when Rhys finally had me standing. 

"What are you doing in here?" I asked him, my tired voice tripping over the words. I folded my arms across my chest to keep them from dangling at my sides. "I came to see you, of course." Rhys said. "Why, am I interrupting something? Are you entertaining?" He looked around the cell theatrically. "Are you hiding Tamlin somewhere in here?"

I said nothing.

"Oh, that's right," Rhys continued. "He's not here, he's never here, because all he does is sit back and watch you get tortured." Something hot lit in his eyes. 

"Hey," I said. "That's not fair. You know he's under Aramantha's thumb at the moment. She watches his every movement." "And what am I, a free bird?" Rhys argued, arms gesturing out wide. "And yet here I am. If you want something enough, you find a way. He's a fucking High Lord, what's he doing just sitting there?"

Anger flickered in my chest.

"Aramantha cut off his power," I said through gritted teeth. "Aramantha cut off everyone's power," Rhysand countered. "But I've been here, even Vanserra's been in. And where's your great love? If it were me, if I were the one who loved you, I'd be doing everything I could to help you. I'd spend every second trying to be near you. Aramantha be damned, I wouldn't care if she took my head off, at least I'd be trying to save you. Tamlin's a fool and a coward.”

Rhys started to turn away from me, but suddenly that small flicker blazed into a roaring fire. I slammed him back, far beyond caring that he was a high lord and my human girl arms were completely useless.

I must have caught him off guard, or maybe he just let me. Because he thudded back against the wall of the cell, eyes widening in surprise. Then, infuriatingly, a smile bloomed in the corners of his mouth. 

I hated him. In that moment, I hated him more than I had hated anything or anyone in my short life.

“Hit a nerve did I, Feyre darling?” he asked. “I’m not your darling,” I snarled. “And you’re wrong.” “Oh I’m wrong am I? Then do bring out your lordly love, show me where indeed you’ve been keeping him this whole time.”

And Cauldron damn him, I couldn’t. Couldn’t prove him wrong. But the idea that Tamlin could be here if he really, truly tried, was so intolerable that I didn’t dare consider it. Rather than have to answer him, I threw my fists into his chest, and I was shocked by how good the impact felt.

Rhys only grinned wider.

“What the fuck are you smiling at?” I demanded. Smug bastard. “You,” Rhys said. The picture of calmness. “Well I hate it,” I spat at him. “You look ugly when you grin.”

Rhys folded his arms. “Well now that’s just not true,” he said, and before I knew what I was doing I slapped him hard across the face. To see if I could wipe that stupid smirk off completely.

Indeed Rhys’ smile dropped, and cold satisfaction curled down my veins. But he didn’t move.

“Damn you, fight back,” I said. He didn’t move. His stillness infuriated me so much I just started pummelling him, my hands and elbows against his motionless torso. It was like fighting a mountain.

“Just... fight... back... you... fucking... prick,” I ground out between lashes. Rhys was a statue. “Fight back, do something,” I screamed, and to my deep frustration my voice cracked on the last word. A sob scraped up the inside of my throat, and finally, Rhys moved. 

In between one strike and the next, Rhys grabbed a hold of my flailing wrists and strode four steps across the cell, pushing me back until I was shoved up against the opposite wall. His hands pinned mine to the bricks.

For a second, Rhys stared down at me with utter fury, and it both scared and thrilled me. And then the next second, I couldn’t quite tell who moved first but his lips were on mine and we were snarling at each other with tongues and teeth. 

Anger now rolled off me like hot smoke, scorching my skin but heating my blood. I raked my nails down Rhys’ arms, as if I could shred his immaculate jacket. I tugged his shirt down, looking for bare skin, and clawed at his exposed collar bones, even as my neck strained to get closer. To kiss him deeper. 

Rhys responded by moving a hand to my throat, pushing me back but not squeezing hard enough to cut off my airway. Just enough that I couldn’t push back. Just enough that I could feel the wall pressing into the back of my head, and when I resisted against him he was unmovable. Rhys stepped forward into me, and now there was cold brick all the way down my spine and the backs of my legs, and Rhysand’s warm body all the way down my front. I lifted a foot against the wall for leverage, but Rhys had me pinned, and slowly he wrested control from me. 

The strangest thing was, the more he took over, the more relief I felt. My anger poured into him, and it didn’t feel like it was going to kill me anymore. So I moved the leg that was trying to push off the wall, and slid it up Rhys’ thigh instead. He didn’t hesitate, grabbed it and hitched it to his hip so he could grind his hips into me, and when I felt the hardness of him pressing into my lower abdomen, I gasped.

The movement broke the kiss, and Rhys pulled his face back only far enough to stare into my eyes. I read the questions that swam there, and couldn’t bear the answers.

So I just tilted my head back defiantly, and said, “Are you gonna fuck me or just stare at me some more?”

The world blurred, everything went dark and then we were in Rhys’ room. 

I wobbled, took a step back to steady myself and my calves hit his bed. Rhys’ arms tightened around my waist, so I didn’t fall. He growled low in his throat, and put his teeth on my neck.

The pressure and slight pain grounded me, and before the awful, intolerable thoughts could form again, I went for his lips and he responded with a hunger than took my breath away. I kissed him back, and sighed my relief against his tongue.

Then the prick laughed. 

I bit down hard on his lip, and was rewarded with a soft yelp. He landed a stinging slap across my backside, and as shudders rippled through me, my hands went for his belt. Whipped it out from its loops, only for Rhys to snatch it from my hands, fold it in half and press the leather to my mouth. I let him slide it between my teeth, and then his hands were gripping my hips and turning me sharply. Dragging me back to him, something hard now shoving against my ass as he palmed my breasts and a moan from somewhere in my stomach made its way past the belt in my bite.

Rhys’ left hand found my throat again. His right hand slid between my legs.

"Is this what you wanted, Feyre darling?” Rhys crooned. He took the belt from my teeth and looped it loosely around my neck. Like a collar. “Still not your darling,” I spat, and then his fingers slipped under the waistband of my pants and my knees buckled. “Want to bet?” Rhys hissed. “Because your soaking wet pussy says otherwise.” 

Rhys moved his fingers all the way down and then back up the seam of me, and I couldn’t argue. Not when he started to circle my clit, and words died in my mouth. His hand tugged the belt a little tighter around my throat, and then he pushed two fingers into me and this time my moan was louder.

“That’s right, moan for me and show me exactly how you aren’t mine,” Rhys mocked. “Fuck you,” I gritted out, even as his fingers pumped inside of me and pleasure curled tight in my belly.  “With pleasure,” Rhys responded, and next thing I knew I was being bent over the bed, my pants yanked down over my backside and my hips tilted up sharply. I braced for the first pressure against my entrance, but instead another slap sang out over my exposed ass. I gasped in shock, and barely had time to register the sensation before I was smacked again.

“You know, I’m starting to think you rather enjoy a little pain,” Rhys said. I could hear the bloody smirk in his voice. “Yes,” I retorted. “You are a little pain.” Another slap, and the pain burst across my eyes. Along with a searing pleasure that had me writhing on the bed seeking friction.

“Oh trust me darling, there’s nothing little about me,” Rhys said, and then suddenly he was pushing inside me and fuck if every cell in my body wasn’t clamouring for more.

“Gods, fuck Rhysand,” I said, my lips moving without thought. “Rhysand?” he asked. Drew out and then thrust slowly in again. “Only my prisoners and enemies call me that.” His voice strained, as he landed deeper this time. “Sounds about right to me, Rhysand,” I managed to shoot back, swallowing my moan. So good. He felt so good. 

“Oh enemies, is it?” Rhys asked. He paused his movements, now seated right to the hilt. “Well, in that case.”

And then he threaded his fingers through the base of my ponytail and made a fist against my scalp, pulling my head back and fucking me hard while he had me by the hair.

The suddenness and roughness of the movement had me aching, and I could feel the bruises between my legs and where his fingertips now dug painfully into my hip. But the way my head emptied and spun was intoxicating, and I found myself arching my back to get him deeper, harder into me.

I didn’t even realise at first that the high pitched keening sounds I could hear were coming from me.

“I’ll fucking show you ‘Rhysand’,” Rhys was muttering as he pounded into me. “You don’t have to be my darling but you sure as hell are mine.”

My hands clenched in the bedsheets, and I wanted to argue but at this point I was too far gone. 

“I’d make you say it,” Rhys told me, “but I kind of like it that I can fuck you speechless.”

And then pulled me back up against him, and sucked my earlobe in between his teeth at the same time as one of his hands snaked down to rub against my clit. His other hand crushed my breast in his fingers, and this increase in sensation all over me had me free falling toward my climax.

“I told you you were mine,” he whispered, and then fucked into me so hard I fell forward again, and then I was coming with my hands planted on the bed and Rhys’ nails running down my spine.

I was only vaguely aware of Rhys pulling out of me and spilling his release over my lower back, as I collapsed onto the black satin sheets. The heat of it dripped over my skin.

And then it was whisked away as Rhys cleaned us up by magic, before falling on to the bed beside me.

We lay there, breathing in the dark for sometime. And then Rhys rolled over, pulled the belt from around my neck, and with an uncharacteristic gentleness, asked, “Would you like to stay here tonight?”

I knew it was a pointless question. Knew there was no way I could be out of my cell for a night without someone noticing. But more importantly, I knew I’d never give Rhys the satisfaction.

“I’d rather rot in jail,” I shot out, and Rhys just chuckled. “As you wish,” he said, and the the world tilted again and we were back in my cell.

I expected cold air to hit me, but instead I just felt warmth as I collapsed onto my hay pallet. My body felt spent, but this time in a good way, and I was surprised to find sleep right behind me.

“Good night, Feyre darling,” Rhys whispered, and then he was gone.

****

Oooooh okay that was WAY too much fun but also now I gotta go write something fluffy as after care 😂 Thanks anon for that delicious prompt! Also gotta do a big ol shout out to the brain trust @asteria-of-mars, @feyrearcherons and @thehaemanthus for once again getting me over the line.

Now who wants to wear Rhys’ belt like a collar?

UPDATE: Part 2 by special request.

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST: @ghostlyrose2 @highladysith @stardelia @feysand-babies @tillyrubes10 @ratabrasileira @live-the-fangirl-life @maybekindasortaace @annejulianneh111 @thebonecarver @rowaelinismyotp @loosingdreams @whythefuckdoiexist @inejsarrow @swankii-art-teacher @sjmships @courtofjurdan @teddytdr @thalia-2-rose

[jordanstrophe]

Hope you don't mind but what if basement whumper’s partner decided to pay another visit to whumpee? While whumper is out? And whumper comes back mid torture session and stops it?

(I don’t mind at all! Sorry if it’s taken me some time, but I really wanted to do this one right. In fact, I’m going to have to cut this into a part 1/2. This one is the hurt, next one is going to be the comfort.) (Update: I need comfort myself after writing this)   Masterlist 

CW: Torture, knife cuts, salt water, restraining, held captive, hair pulling, dragging, escape attempt, protective whumper, hurt. It’s a whole lotta hurt. 

Whumpee heard the front door open from above as they perked up against the pole. They watched stairs, waiting for the familiar socks that would descend, usually with a hint of clumsiness to them.

Instead, it was the stomp of heavy boots, confident with pride. Whumpee's heart dropped to their stomach when they saw Whumper's partner... A heartless, ruthless being who lacked any sense of humanity.

The larger of two evils.

"There you are! How's our little hostage today? Whumper keeps you well I see." They watched as Whumpee recoiling with fear in their eyes, slowly shaking their head with disbelief. 

"Why are y-you here? Where's Whumper?" Whumpee failed to hide the nervous wreck behind their voice. "Not here, little bird. They're far far away doing me a favor. Thought I would drop by and see the goods." They belted a laugh. "Y-you... You shouldn't be h-here. Does Whumper even know?"

They slowly cranking their head back with cold eyes, digging a handful of Whumpee's hair, slamming their head against the pole as they let out a gasp.

"Little birdies been in the basement for so long they think they run the little corner, hmm? Now, when did Whumper let that happen." They hissed. Whumpee tried to pull themselves from the grasp, but every tug pulled at their scalp.

"It's just... Whumper's quite... Possessive." Whumpee whimpered.

"Possessive?" An amused smirk painted their face. "No no, darling. I think the correct word is protective, don't you think? Now I know they  went soft and all, but you're nothing but their property." They spat, throwing their head to the side. They followed the wall, their eyes tracing every shiny tool until they fixated on a knife innocently dangling from a nail.

Whumpee wrangled their wrist against the ropes, desperately trying to pop an arm out, or even a thumb. Each breath became more jagged than the next as panic built in their chest. 

A cold tip of a blade touched underneath their chin as they instantly flinched up, only to come face to face with its wielder. The knife dug into their throat, just enough to break skin as they winced. 

“Wh-why... Why are you doing this? You took me from my own home... What more could you p-possibly take from me?” Their glossy eyes didn't hold back as they stared at their attacker. If they were going to get an answer, it was going to be to their face. 

“Simple. It's to keep you in your place, little bargaining chip.” They rose the knife, slicing a line along their cheekbone. Whumpee’s breath hitched as they jolted away, feeling blood trickle down their cheek. 

They didn’t get a moment before another cut was struck, right above their collarbone as they fell back against the pole. “Aah-! Stop! Please stop!” Whumpee begged, their shirt collar was torn as a long slash was made from their neck to the end of their shoulder. Whumpee gasped as their head fell forwards, thrashing against the pole from their bound wrists. 

“Y-your... You're insane!” Whumpee hissed, gasping for air. 

“Am I?” They whispered, holding the blade up to their arm. They hardly pushed it in, letting Whumpee’s own flinching movements cut themselves against it. After each dreaded minute that passed, Whumpee had dozens of cuts painting their body as they sobbed hysterically. 

“You know, I was really against Whumper keeping you. But now, I think you’re just fun.” They flicked the blade to let the blood drip off. “Why don’t I make this a little more interesting? Be a dear and wait for me a minute, won’t you?” They smiled almost sweetly before spinning on their heel back up stairs. 

Whumpee’s wrists were rubbed raw, but something had loosened. They pulled and pulled with a desperate cry until they ripped their wrist out. They inhaled with unbelievable relief, adrenalin pulsed through their body as they stumbled to their feet. They wiped the blood from their face, as they shakily climbed the steps. 

They could hear haunted humming and running water from the other side of the door. Whumpee glanced down at their bleeding hands, forcing themselves to grab the handle despite the cut down each one. 

The partner was on the far side in the kitchen, their expression instantly turning pale. “HEY!” They hollered, leaving the sink running as they sprinted after them. Whumpee managed to get the front door open, but it slammed shut before they could make it out. Their arm was grabbed as they were thrown back against the floor, shuffling away in panic. 

The partner stood between them and the door almost tauntingly. “Well well! Looks like I was right after all! Little birdie couldn’t sit in their cage like a good little thing.” They spat. Whumpee scrambled back until they were behind the couch.

They advanced closer, but Whumpee would then run behind another piece of furniture further away. “How long are you going to keep this up for?” 

“As long as i-it t-takes!” Whumpee barked, ducking a swipe as they tried to each across. “Takes till what? Till Whumper comes and saves you?” They mocked. 

“Y-yeah! Yeah I guess I am!” Tears instantly poured down their face. The partner finally grabbed the chair, shoving it on its side with a bang. There was nothing left between them and Whumpee, they gulped as they took a step, their back hitting the wall hopelessly. They cried when their arm was taken and drug to the kitchen, the sink long overflowed as the tiled floor was soaked in water. 

They used their foot to pin Whumpee to the ground as they took a box of salt and poured it into the overfilled pot. “Get off of me! Ple-ase! What are you doing!?” They cried, fighting to get out from underneath their boot. Their eyes went wide when they saw the pot hovering over their head, their expression freezing as they shook their head pleadingly. 

“No... No no no.. Please don’t.” They quietly begged. 

The door slammed open, Whumper about breaking the door from its hinges. Both of them stared guiltily at them wide eyed, their partner still holding the pot,  Whumpee still covered an uncountable amount of cuts. 

“Don’t you dare, you bastard.” Whumper hissed, their face seething red, they clutched their car keys in hand like a weapon. There was silence for a moment, you could almost see the gears turning in their brain as they weighed the consequences.

“... You’ll thank me later.” 

“PARTNER NO- 

There was a splash of water, then a shattering scream filling the room. Whumper dropped the keys in shock, watching Whumpee’s body convulse. Their partner smirked with satisfaction as they stepped over them, shaking their hands dry from the salty water. 

As if they thought they could slip out the door unharmed, Whumper instantly grabbed their collar as their fist hammered their cheek with such force they slammed into the wall. They even flinched when they opened their eyes, expecting another blow to the head, but instead, they found Whumper crouching over Whumpee trying to sooth them. 

“Weak...” They spat out blood before slipping out the door, listening to Whumpee’s screams getting quieter and softer the further they went. 

Masterlist

(we’re coming back with a part 2 if you like comfort) 

o(^∀^*)o Thank you for reading! @grizzlie70  @alien-octopus @lave-whump @amethysts-sideblog  @whump-it-like-its-hot  @thingsthatgowhumpinthenight @yet-another-heathen @princessofonward @whatwhumpcomments  @ill-eat-you-if-you-cross-me @mascmasochist @hamiltonwhumpdump  @as-a-matter-of-whump @whumpasaurus101 @starnight-whump @lonesome--hunter @chartreusephoenix

[sif-the-tsunami]

When I Was His Wife

“Well I was looking forward to/ staying here forever/ ‘cause you asked me to/ Didn’t think I could do better/ So I settled down/ in this ten cent town/ it’s about to break me.” These are the Best Years of my Life- Pistol Annies

This is the follow up to “When You Fall Apart” Which is one of my favorites that I’ve written.

(there is Sy just carrying the weight of all of my own internal chaos)

A/N thank you for everyone who encouraged me to write this, I adore Sy as a character. He seemed like someone who could pull off the impossible. I made some choices in here that not everyone will agree with. Tell me I’m wrong in the comments an we can discuss it there.

Pairing: Sy and Josephine

Warnings: again all of them. discussion of infidelity, Discussion of child loss, discussion of unprotected sexual intercourse, headbutting, day drinking, self medicating, therapy, swearing fealty on ones hunting knife, discussion of knife play, I’m probably missing something

 Everything is going below the cut this time to save anyone who doesn’t like this kind of stuff from unpleasantness.

word count just shy of 7.5K

Thank you to @inlovewithhisblueeyes for letting me bounce ideas off of you, love you sweet girl

tagging: @oddsnendsfanfics @willkatfanfromasia @rocket44 @feralrunaway @littlewrenofrivia​  @summersong69​  @coffeebooksandfandom​ @klaine-92​ @nothingright​ @cavillsim​ @watery-lane​ @above-average-ass-bitch 

unbeta’d

I slept for the next two days, Mama only woke me up long enough to drink some water once she started worrying about me. She managed to wrangle my out of my clothes and into one of Daddy’s shirts we got him that she left in the drawer. My phone was dead, but thankfully Mama and I had the same kind so I could charge it today. What fresh hell was going to be waiting for me on my digital leash? I lay there for a while, the murmur of conversation in the other room was comforting. Mama left a fresh glass of water some time recently, it was still chilly with only a little condensation forming around the sides. The ache in my chest was almost unbearable. The hole in my heart was Syverson sized, being sober made the edges of that abyss feel even more raw and pronounced. I don’t know if my liver could handle me drowning my sorrow much more, but I would give anything to not feel it. I need to make this feeling of worthlessness go away.

When I finally decided to rejoin the land of the living, Mama and my brother Teddy were talking at the kitchen table, discussing about if they should come with me to go get my things or if I should call the sheriff’s office to be monitored. I stayed behind the corner long enough to let them finish what they were going on about.

“If I know Jo well enough, she’s going to need someone to keep her from burning the whole house down with him in it tied to a chair,” my brother chuckled. “She’s been taking care of herself for years. You should have seen how she handled one of these girls who came up to us once on Post.

“Jo was loading up the car when this prissy little thing came walking up, she must have thought she was some kind of hot shit. You would have been so proud of her Mama, the girl said to her that she had been sleeping with James during their deployment. All Jo said back to her was ‘You’ve both been back for something like three months, right, have you seen him since?’ Little Miss Hot Shit stuttered and said ‘Well not yet,’ like she had been really holding out that he was going to. ‘He doesn’t have my new phone number.’ Jo just tiled her head to the side. Smiled at her real sweetly and told her, ‘Baby girl, he’s not going to. He knows how to find you. You were just a rental car to him, sweetie bell. Ford Fiestas are fun as hell to ride but let’s be honest, you aren’t going to pick a Fiesta over the Mercedes Benz you have at home. You aren’t the first and you sure as hell won’t be the last, now go on and get out of here before I ruin the rest of your day like you tried to ruin mine.’ One of the other officer’s wives came up to her and said she was amazed that she handled her so well without breaking Miss Prissy Pant’s face. She just said ‘I’m too pretty to go to prison, Kathy.’ And we hoped in the car. You raised one tough lady, Mama.”

“How many times has that happened, Theodore, I need to know.”

“She has only told me about four women meeting her face to face. The two pregnant girls who got knocked up to get out of their deployments, Prissy Pants, and one who thought that James was in love with her. She evidently broke down in tears on the tarmac when Josie jumped into his arms and he swung her around. But she would get letters tucked into the windshield of her car for months whenever he returned from deployment.”

“You two kept this from me for years, why?”

“Jo said that this was her problem, don’t you remember how you handled it when her first boyfriend ran out on her on prom night? She cried to you and Dad, and you just told her that no one is worth weeping over. She’s just been trying to make you proud, Mama. Daddy might have known because I know they had a really nasty fight about a month before he died.”

I walked out after that. Mama’s eyes were red, “Good morning, baby, do you want pancakes? Bacon and eggs? What do you want, Darlin’?”

“Coffee would be a good start.” I rasped. “Can I use your charger?”

“It’s right here. Cream and sugar?”

“Black as my sense of humor, please Mama.” I said, Teddy chuckled again. I reached over and squeezed my brother’s shoulder. “Hey, I’m glad you’re here.”

“I got to look after my little sissy.” He replied using what he called me growing up. “So what are we doing to get over Jimmy?”

“I was thinking tattoos and day drinking?”

“Atta’ girl, Josie. Fuck that douche canoe.”

As soon as my phone was able to turn on, it sat on the counter vibrating for the next five minutes.  Six missed calls from James. And seventy text messages. A few from stores I shop at, but the majority were from my husband.

“Ugh, I just don’t feel like dealing with this right now.” I said as my mom put my coffee in front of me.

“Just leave him on read. I doubt he’s hurting for company.”  Mama said, in almost a snarl. I looked through a few messages. The last one was from this morning. Sweetheart, I’m worried sick about you, I miss you. Please talk to me?

“Ted, do you want to go with me to Walmart so I can get a couple day’s worth of clothes, I am just not ready to go back and I can’t live in Daddy’s old shirts.”

“Of course, we can get some booze while we are there.”

“Get yourself a bathing suit while you are there, honey, its going to be beautiful today and you can go for a swim.” Mama added.

I texted James back finally as I finished my coffee. I’m sorry I worried you, Sy, I have literally been asleep since I got here. I’m not ready.

I understand. I’m sorry, I should have seen how much I’ve been hurting you. I swear to God, I really do love you. Please, let me know what I can do for you.

Yeah, you should have, James. You should have seen how bad you’ve been treating me. You can drop off the face of the earth, that’s what you can do for me, I think spitefully. Thankfully, Mama washed my yoga pants and tank top. It would have to be alright for now. My brother let me wear one of his extra flannel shirts he kept in the back of his car. An hour later, Ted and I were at the store, picking up chips, dip, and cheap champagne. Mama loved mimosas, so I thought it was the least I could do. I grabbed a couple of sun dresses and a bikini, if I was going to be gone for a few days, I was going to come back home looking refreshed, radiant even, and not like the hot pile of garbage I was feeling like. I made a small detour to the cosmetics department, got myself a couple of face masks, hair dye, and sun screen.

“Really? Dark brown, Josie?”

“That’s as close to my natural color as I can, I’m tired of the blonde highlights. I think after this I might just let it come in. Grays and all. Who ever loves me next is going to have to just deal with me as nature intended.”

“I’m proud of you. Do you think you will leave him for good?” He said, Ted has always been very protective of me.

“Well, I certainly can’t leave him for evil, can I?” Making him laugh. One the way outside there was a truck near the front of the store with a sign that read “Puppies for sale.”

“Teddy, we need to see these puppies.” I gasped. Walking up to the truck bed I saw the sweetest little German Shepard puppies. I reached in and they all started flopping all over the place trying to get pets and love. Maybe a puppy was exactly what my hurting heart needed. We haven’t had a dog since Aika passed away. It was looking like I would never have a baby but maybe this was the kind I needed. Puppy snuggles would definitely make that Syverson shaped hole less painful.

“I’ll buy you a puppy if you divorce James.” Ted said to me, half joking.

“Shit, I can afford the puppy, pay for the divorce.” I jest back. “How much for one of the precious babies?”

“$500 a pup, mom has a pedigree, but daddy was the neighbor’s sneaky bastard.” The woman also petting the puppies said. “Mama is in the front if you want to meet her, daddy is very friendly as well.”

I start laughing uncontrollably. With tears in my eyes, I ask if any of the puppies are girls, and she pulls   out a beautiful little one with floppy ears and the biggest smile I had ever seen on a dog. Oh yeah, she was meant for me.

“I’ll take her, do you take checks?” I think I’m ready to start healing.

*****

“Josephine, that son of a bitch you call your husband is here to see you.” Mama shouts from the house. It’s Sunday afternoon now, Teddy and I have exhausted all the snacks and mimosas hours ago and now we were sobering up by the pool. My new baby girl is laying next to my sun chair, chewing on her bone, wearing a pretty pink collar.

“Well, might as well let him out here.” I shout back.

“Are you sure, I can kick his ass to the curb if you want me to, baby.”

“Its okay Mama, I can handle him myself.” Sy walks out in the back yard a couple minutes later. I’m guessing Mama threatened to stick him in a meat grinder.

“I deserved that.” He said, looking thoroughly admonished. “You changed your hair, it looks really good...

“Oh bless your heart, James. That’s not even half of what you deserve.” Ted spoke up before he could finish, not moving his face towards him. He lay there in his swim trunks and dark sunglasses.

“Oh great, all three of you have been drinking. I can tell this is going to go well...” James sighed. “Who is this cutie pie, did your Ma get a new dog?”

“She’s my dog, her name is Stella Rosa.”

“I don’t think anyone asked you to come, Colonel Sanders, what are you doing here?” Ted snapped.

“Hey, I got this, okay? I’m a big girl, please, go in the house. The fuck are you doing here James?” I lift my sun glasses up.

“She’s a very sweet pup. Yeah, you are a good girl for your mama, aren’t you? I came to see you. I want to bring you home, baby, I miss you.” He’s checking out my fresh tan in my new bikini. Subtly, but he does it.

“I’m not ready. I’m not even ready to talk to you. Why would you think that I even want to come home?”

“I don’t know, I asked myself that the entire drive here. I don’t know what I’m even going to do with myself when I go home alone. Pussycat, I can’t begin to think of life without you. I know I fucked up. And I know I can’t take that back. You asked me the other day what I kept that was special just between us. I should have answered you then. All those nights where you fell asleep with your head on my chest, the evenings laying in the back of the truck looking at the stars after driving around trying to find the best nachos in town. And, baby, no matter where we go, yours are always the best. No one else ever got moments like that. You are the only woman I want to slow dance with in the middle of the night.

“You are the only person in the world that I would wait four hours in the freezing cold to get the best brisket in Austin for because you were craving bbq when we were still, you know...” He paused. I don’t think he ever stopped blaming himself for what happened. His knees were never the same after that accident, and usually whenever he stood up from kneeling, they clicked and popped painfully. He leaned a little closer spreading his legs and reached down to pet Stella. She seemed a little leery of him. It is easy to be cynical given the circumstances, but there is something about the way he is talking to me, I haven’t heard him be this earnest in years.

“When was the last time you were with someone other than me?” I can’t bring myself to look at him. I keep my eyes anywhere but on him. My body aches so badly for him to just wrap his arms around me. I miss him.

“When I got held up in Kuwait for two weeks in December...”

“December? You mean when you missed my fucking birthday. Goddammit James...” And the ache is gone. My heart shattered again. He’s going to make me cry again.

“Hey, it was after your birthday, and it was a hate fuck because I was mad that I broke yet another promise to you.”

“That doesn’t make it better.” I snap. “How many that deployment?”

“Just the one. And she’s someone who I knew was more discreet because we had that arrangement before.”

“I swear on my Daddy’s grave that if you are lying to me right now, I will end you Syverson. You couldn’t have waited a few more days?”

“I had no idea when I was going home. We boarded that fucking plane three times and had to turn back because there was a problem with it. I was two seconds away from tearing apart the first Private that so much as looked at me sideways. It felt like, at the time, the less terrible choice.”

“They sound both pretty shitty to me. You are a fucking adult James, you have to be able to control yourself or at least be responsible for your actions. If this is what you think love is, I would rather you hate me.” I stand up. Stella wags her tail excited to get away.

“Josephine, please...” He grasps my wrist, not hard, but there wasn’t anyway I was going to be able to get out of his big hand.

“Please what? Please stay so you can keep treating me like this. There are some people in this world who have no problem playing second or third fiddle, they are just thankful they are in the band. But I deserve to be your first chair, or I don’t want to play at all.”

“Mama wants to know if the jackass is staying for dinner.” Ted shouts at us.

“He going!” “I’m staying!” we yell over each other. He’s not looking at me, he’s not even looking at the pup. His eyes are somewhere else, mentally for a second he is somewhere else also.

“Baby…  I… You have always been my first chair. There is no one else on earth like you. I have never done anything with these women as an act of love. It was always been, and I mean always, just a way to scratch an itch. Every time I was gone, every time things got bad, getting to come home to you was the thing that keep me going, Jo. You have been my safe harbor for the worst parts of my life.”

“James… That doesn’t excuse what you’ve done. You aren’t the man I fell for anymore. This isn’t healthy.” He let go of my wrist, and rubs his face. Those beautiful eyes of his have seen so much. For the first time I think he actually looks… broken. Is this the remorse I have been wanting to see? I try not to keep scores, especially when it comes to my loved ones. But for the first time since things went sour, he looks like I hurt him as much as he has hurt me.

Maybe there was love between us once. However there are just two broken hearts for now.

“Come on in the house, I can at least feed you before I send you back.”

“I think I will just go,” he says it quietly. “I don’t want to be a burden on you.”

“Don’t be like that, I am still cooking like I’m making dinner for you, so its way too much for the three of us. Come on in, I made carnitas.”

“I’ll be in, I just need a minute.” He refuses to let me see him cry if he’s not waking up screaming, even after all this time. Whenever we could have a healing moment, he pushes me out. I went inside, and started setting the table.

“Are we poisoning his tacos?” Teddy asked me.

“That’s not the worst idea I’ve heard today.” Mama interjected.

“No, and don’t start anything. He’s eating dinner with us, don’t either of you make him feel bad. I already did that.” Sy walked in at that moment, those blue eyes of his rimmed with red. He looked defeated. The four of us ate our dinner in silence. There was a time where he would have made some kind of comment about eating me out when we had tacos. He looked at me once during the meal, I think he remembered it too. He offered to clear the plates when were all done and sat in uncomfortable silence. The cockiness I had grown accustomed to over the years was gone.

He carried himself like this when we lost our baby, he can’t take that kind of humility. At least not with me.

“Sy...” I waited until the others were out of the room. “Do you still want me to come home with you?”

“Not if it means all we are going to do is get a divorce. I can’t see you every day knowing that I will never get to be yours again. I let them do a lot of terrible things to me over the years, but that… that I can’t handle.” His voice cracked. “If you want out, I will give you everything you ask for. I won’t fight you. But please, give me a chance to fight for you.”

“I don’t think you are exactly in a position to make that that request.” I lean against the counter across the room from him.

“No, I’m not.” he half smirked, “I don’t deserve you.”

“Look, I’m not saying that this can’t still all explode in our faces. But I miss my best friend and that has always been the best part of us. It will never be the same as it was before, it can’t be. However, if you are willing to work with me, I am willing to see if we there is any salvageable. If nothing else, we both need therapy very badly. We can’t just shrug this off. The second that it goes back to where we were, I’m gone.”

“Okay. I’ll do it.” He sniffs hard, and his breath is broken up, tucking his arms against himself. Usually its in authority, this time hes just trying to hug himself. I gesture him to come over and I hug him. He wraps his arms around then envelopes me. Leaning his head on mine, he whispers “I’ll do whatever you want, my darlin.”

I told my mom that I would be going home, she sighed at me. “Do you think this is the best idea?”

“I don’t know, Mama. I think I just want some closure. I told him if he so much as sneezes out of line that I’m gone. Forever. There will be no more chances.”

“Well, baby, I trust you. You are always welcome back here if you need to get away.”

While I’m packing my stuff into the shopping bags I had, I hear a sudden crack and Sy groans then swears. “yeah, I deserved that too.”

“What the fuck did you just do, Theodore?” I yell coming out. Ted was still holding my husband’s hand, and Sy was holding his face. “Did you… just headbutt him?”

“Yes, I did. My sister my might be willing to move past your mistakes, but I’m not. However, I’ve always been the petty one in the family. Hurt her again, they will have to dig your nuts out of your chest cavity, do we understand each other?”

“Yep, perfectly.” Sy grimaced. There were very few men that he would not retaliate against. Teddy, at 6’5, and years of horse wrangling, was one of them. Sy was build like a brick shit house, but so was my big brother. I thought we were old enough to not resort to violence, I have been wrong before.

My probably, potentially, soon to be ex-husband put mine and Stella’s things in the back bench of his truck. I held her in the crook of my arm as I climbed up in the cab. He gently shut the door for me, I noticed his shiner was going to be pretty gnarly in the morning.

He climbed into the other side as I set little Stella down on the floor. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it was a cheap shot, I’ll be fine. At this point, I don’t want to rock the boat with your brother and Ma. She tore me a new asshole before I got outside today.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t changed your mind, say to hell with me and that I’m not worth the hassle.”

“Josephine, I might not have made the appropriate effort to show you how much you mean to me, but you are worth it.” The Syverson shaped hole in my heart roared. Why couldn’t he have been this way all along?

We talked about the girl at the movies, and how she was one of his new officers. She might have come on to him, but he never engaged with her outside of work related things. He told her several times that he wasn’t interested but she was persistent. I halfway apologized for trying to decapitate him with a tequila bottle. He acknowledged that this was a long time coming.  This was the most we had talked about anything deep for months. I don’t know if it was too little and too late though.

The rest of the drive home we made a plan of action. He would move into the office and would stay in there until I invited him back into my bed. We would start couple’s therapy as soon as we could. He would also start seeing a therapist individually. Before we got into town I also told him my final request for our reconciliation. I wanted to see other people. I had been with him since I was nineteen, I have never faltered in my devotion to him. I wanted to see if he was really the one for me.

When I got home, I poured out the rest of my alcohol, save for a bottle of champagne I was saving for our anniversary. He took Stella outside to go potty and came back singing her name “Stella bella, who is a good girl? Your Mama picks good puppies, yes she does. Good girl, Stella bella.”

Stella came prancing back to me with her tail wagging happily. He walked up behind me, and grazes the backs of my arms gently with his knuckles, leaning down to kiss my neck. “Not yet, Sy. I don’t want us to complicate things more than they already are.”

“Josie, what do you mean?”

“I don’t want to have sex with you until we start therapy.”

“So you want us to stop having sex, sleep in separate rooms and at some point you want to start seeing other men.” He starts nodding. He lets out a deep sigh and closes his eyes. “Okay, it that’s what you want to do. I was thinking about getting my stuff out of the bedroom so I can try to get some sleep. I love you, Pussycat. I’ll see you in the morning.” And with that, James went to bed. He was snoring on the couch in the office by the time I went to go lay down.      

****

It took us three weeks to get into see a couples therapist. It felt a little validating about my decision that we shouldn’t sleep together until we have really decided to try or not. She had me stay behind and talk with her for another half an hour the first time we met.  She asked me why I wanted to save my marriage with Sy if he’s hurt me for years.

“I don’t rightly know,” I told her. “Maybe its because when we are good we are so damn good. Before we were married, I was warned, I knew that things happened overseas and I shouldn’t take it personally, he’s just a man and not a saint. I never have had a doubt in my mind about if he’s been faithful when he’s been here until recently when a woman he knows started acting weird around me. The love we had was so passionate, like sometimes he thought that if he couldn’t put his hands on me I would disappear. I don’t think I will ever find someone who can love me like that again.”

The therapist suggested that he starts getting treated for PTSD and anger management while we all were working together. I would also have my own separate sessions to work on my own issues. It took a few months but I started seeing small differences in how he was handling things at work that pissed him off. He was able to defuse himself more easily. He became more open with his feelings. I think it helped that we both stopped drinking. We could be a little volatile when we had a pitcher (or three) of margaritas.

There were days with our sessions where we leave emotionally exhausted and not speak to each other the rest of the day, some of them ended in peals of laughter, others where I would cry for most of it. We discussed the infidelity at great lengths. I don’t want to rehash the details but it was definitely one of the bad days. But it seems that the root cause was him using the only the other women for comfort after fairly traumatic events. It’s why it only happened on deployments. He needed to feel something other than pain.

The lack sexual intimacy between the two of us made James start to get creative to initiate closeness between the two of us. He started helping me make dinner on the weekends, or he would bring me my coffee in the morning the way I like it. Mama and Teddy started coming over occasionally for suppers. It was nice to have the house filled with laughter. We started talking again like when we first started dating. He would take the time to go with me grocery shopping.

He started asking me out on dates again. Myself, him and Stella would drive out to the country, with a picnic basket that he would even prepare himself and we would go star gazing like we used to. I loved seeing the effort, but that hole still ached in my chest the whole time. The pieces should have all fit together, but here I was still not sure I could commit to him for the rest of my life.

On one of these dates, he asked me what I thought about him retiring. He had been in for almost nineteen years at this point and had far exceeded is expectations for being in the Army as an officer.

“I kind of just want to sell off all our extra shit and buy a really nice Air-stream. We can pull it with my truck. Just travel up and down the continent, I know you always have wanted to see the Northern Lights, we can just go anywhere. Me, you and Stella would visit where ever we could find a parking spot.”

“That sounds nice, Sy.” It came out a little half hearted.

“You don’t sound convinced, sweetheart.” He said, started sounding concerned.

“Hun, I don’t want to have a fight right now, so please just let me get this off my chest.” I sigh. And then I told him about the pain in my chest that I’ve had since my night in jail. That sometimes, like tonight, it was only a dull ache. That other times the edges are still so sharp that it feels like the pain was going to swallow me whole. He sits up, jaw dropped.

“Why haven’t you told me this before? I… Jo… son of a bitch.” He groans. He lays back down, the same defeated tone came back that I hadn’t heard since Mama’s house. “I’m trying my best, Josephine, but I feel like I have one hand tied behind my back… you will never love me again, will you?  I can grovel, and beg. I don’t know what else I need to do. I know what I want to do, but it will just hurt you more.”

“What do you want to do, Sy?”

“I want to kiss every part of your skin, remind your body that I worship it. I want to pin you to the wall of our hallway and make love to you. I want to go to sleep with my nose buried in in your hair, and wake up sliding inside of you. I have since you came home. Hell, I always want to do that with you. But that can’t be the only thing that keeps us together.” He looked over at Stella sprawl out.

“I didn’t say this to hurt you, hun. I just wanted to be honest with you.”

“I know, I… just don’t want to cause you more misery. I really thought we were, you know, heading back in the right direction.”

“We have been, and honestly, I think if we threw in the towel now, it would cause more harm than good.” I say as the tears well up in my eyes. For the first time since I was taken away, I straddle his hips. He sits up and I place my hands on either side of his face, then lean in to kiss him. He kisses me back with the same hunger. I missed him. The ache dulled a little until he pulled away.

“Let’s get going, Jo, I want you so fucking bad. I want to take you here and now, I want to make you scream my name and damn anyone who catches us. We need to stop this, the agreement was that we wouldn’t. Fuck I’ve missed how you taste.” He said before stealing one more kiss.

*****

The next week was awkward to say the least, the therapist was pleased about the kissing and that I opened up. She said that it was possible that the pain would go away, but that he and I needed to remember that it was like I was grieving. In the mean time, we should continue to take it slowly because we both needed to be sure. The following few days he was distant, and the ache returned in full force.

With his PTSD treatments, he was having less nightmares. It was the best thing I could ask for. There were still times where he would yell in his sleep but they had become farther and farther apart. It was a night after he had his individual treatment, he had come home talking about how he felt the night of my breakdown. He came home and told me a little bit, how he had never seen me so angry before, thrashing about like a caged animal. He hated himself for pushing me there. That night, in the darkness of the small hours, I woke up from being dead asleep hearing him say my name in a panic. He then repeated sounding more and more scared. “Josie, oh my god, Josie, no. I’m sorry Jo, I didn’t mean to. JoJo!”

I rushed into the office, he was jerking violently in his sleep about on the couch. I turned on the light near his head. When these dreams happen, his eyes were usually opened, it creeps my out every time. I start to gently wake him up, saying his name and touching him as gently as possible. It took a few moments but he came back to me.

“Jo, Jesus fuck, you’re alright?”

“Of course I am, sweetheart, what happened? I’m right here, I’m okay, you are okay, everything is okay.”

“I dreamed we were back in the kitchen, you were under me. Screaming and whipping about. I had to restrain you more then I accidentally broke your neck and you died in my arms. It felt real, baby, I was holding your body and then the sheriff came and that’s when you woke me up. Oh my god. I fucking can’t. I can’t anymore. I need you, Josie. If something happens to you, oh fuck.” I have never seen James sob like this. He pawed at me until I was wrapped in his arms. I slipped my arms around his neck and held his head to mine. His sobs were hard. We sat there until he let it all out.

“Come on, big man, let’s get you into bed. Come with me. I’ll stay with you all night.” He nodded at me and followed me to the bed we used to share. I wrapped him up in our fluffy blankets. He snuggled into me and was asleep in moments. I stayed there in his arms until he woke up. The Syverson shaped hole hurt less that night.

When he woke up he started crying again. He held me and started kissing my face. “Thank god. I thought you coming to me last night was another dream.”

“No baby, I’m here.” He sniffed hard and squeezed me closer to him. We went back to sleep for a few more hours and when we got up for the day he moved his things back into our bedroom. We might not have started other marital acts but we both started sleeping better having the other person in bed. It had been almost six months we started trying to reconcile.

*****

It had been an interesting couple of months while we started the transition for him to retire. Soon it was only a matter of days. The dates had continued, the kissing had continued, but something was keeping me back from being able to say that the next step was what I wanted. Therapy continued, and we would be seeing her for the next few months. Before I left my private session she asked me if I had given myself a deadline. She was concerned that I might keep dragging it out and that would just make both of us miserable. I told her I had an idea and that I planned on pulling the trigger soon.

Sy’s superiors were setting up a retirement ceremony for him, followed by a dinner with the upper chain of command. He wasn’t looking forward to it, Sy just wanted to be out and done. He came home one day while I was watching a show based on a book series I had read when we first were married. The redheaded Scot swore fealty to his wife, offering to pierce his own heart with a dagger if he should ever rebel against her again.  

“What’s this you’re watching?” He asked.

“Outlander, it just picked back up again from a season break. It’s pretty damn close to the book.”

“So is this what the ladies like these days, men in kilts offering to off themselves if they fuck up?”

“Women have liked men in kilts since I can remember. Why do you think we go to the Renn Faire every year.” I wink at him. “But yeah, I’m sure that does it for some people.”

“Well shit, Pussycat, it’s the only thing I haven’t done.” Sy walked out of the room and came back with his favorite hunting knife. It had been his dad’s once upon a time. The handle was made out of buck horn. In his warn and dusty uniform, he knelt in front of me on the living room floor. His beautiful blue eyes looking into mine, “Well, this isn’t iron, and it definitely isn’t holy. However, I will swear on it either way. Josephine, you are the only woman I have ever loved, you are my best friend, and I adore you. I will never do anything to make you doubt that love or loyalty again. If I ever do anything that makes you feel like you are less than the beautiful, smart, incredible, sexy creature that you are, you can sink this right in my heart. I will even hold it there for you so all you have to do is press it right in.” He finishes with a tongue click as an exclamation.      

“James, you didn’t need to do this. You know I am weird about grand gestures.”

“No, I think I do. I said my vows to you on our wedding rings and I wasn’t able to keep it. But, I will never break this one. If I can earn your love back, I will never do anything to make you regret giving me this chance to be your man.” He still held the knife against his chest with one hand, and placed my hand over his with the other. “So what do you think, baby girl? We still have a long way to go, but I can’t think of anyone else I would rather struggle with.”

“I think you just put yourself in a position that I could just end you now if I wanted to.” I say with my usual sass.

“Yes, you could. I don’t think you will though.” He said smiling, his voice was husky and deep as usual. I love that easy smile of his.

“Is it wrong that I want to get on your lap and make out with you while I hold this against you.” His eyebrow raised. “Maybe more than just make out with you.”

“Oh, don’t you tease me now, sweet thing. I don’t want to start anything you won’t finish.”

“Who said I won’t finish it, Colonel Syverson?” His eyes grew as big as dinner plates.  

“Wait, do you mean it?” He choked.

“Yeah, I do mean it.” I laughed. Before I could get up, he had hiked the skirt of the dress I was wearing up to my hips, pulling me to the edge of the sofa, revealing that I had skipped a certain garment that day. “I had an idea for after supper, but if you want we can do this now…. Oh fuck I’ve missed this.”

Before I can even finish my sentence, he was going to town with his tongue on his favorite part of my body. He remembered everything that made me squeal in delight. From the lack of sex on both of our ends, he was able to get me off easily. My body was desperate for his touch. He stopped once my body was trembling, kissing one of my thighs from my apex to my knee. He suddenly grunted and bit down on a tender part. He started panting and kissed the spot he bit.

“I’m sorry, sugar, I didn’t want to only last for two or three thrusts. Fuck, I have missed this pretty pussy. You taste so good.” He had a handful of his own cum and looked around for a tissue. Without a word, I grabbed his hand and licked it clean, keeping eye contact with him the entire time. He moaned out and then stood up. He took his shirt off, and lifted me up off the couch. I knew this hurt his back and knees but I wasn’t about to chastise him for wanting to be romantic. He carried me like we were on our honeymoon back to the bedroom. He lay me down as gently as possible then finished stripping himself. I took my dress off leaving myself exposed to him in a way that I haven’t in almost a year. Sy joined me on the bed, open and vulnerable to me. I loved those thick thighs and torso of his, he always eclipsed me.

“Hello ladies, nice to finally see you again.” He purred as he licked and sucked on my nipples. He leaned to one side and massaged my breasts with one of his hands. “Glad to see you that you missed me too.”

Before long, I could feel his erection pressing against my thigh. He spread my legs and rubbed himself against my opening. He leaned down and kissed my neck before sliding himself inside of me. I moan his name as he gently started making love to me. Bearing his weight on his elbows, he kissed and nipped at my neck.

Breathlessly, he told me how much he missed my body, how much he loved me, how lucky he was to have me. As his tempo increased, he started to whisper in me ear.

“Josephine, tell me what you are.” I looked at him confused. “You are my wife, I want you to tell me that you are my wife.”

“I’m your wife, James.” I tell him as lovingly as possible.

“Louder, baby.”

“I’m your wife.” I said loud and clearly. The Syverson shaped hole in my chest is gone, finally. Replaced with the warmth of knowing we were going to be able to survive this.

“Even louder, Jo.” I yell it out and he thrusts harder and deeper. “Keep going, beautiful, I want the whole neighborhood to know.”

I screamed it as he started pounding me harder, building his orgasm. As my own starts its crescendo, I screamed his name and arched my back as he pulls my hips down on himself and spilled into me. He lay down beside me, twitching and jerking a little. He kisses all the parts of my skin that is available to his reach.

“I think we should order a pizza for dinner tonight,” He says after a few minutes of catching his breath. “So we can stay in bed and make love again.”

“Or, and hear me out. I put my dress back on, you get dressed and we go out for sushi with your cum dripping down my thighs. What do you think about that?”

“Shit, I missed you being a damn freak like that. Do I we get to have more fun tonight if I say yes?” He chuckles, then kisses my hand, “I still want you to ride me with my knife pointed at me some time tonight.”  

“Aren’t you scared I’m going to cut off a nipple or something.”

“You, with a knife? To be honest, cutting off my nipple is the least of my concerns. How do I know if this just isn’t a whole plan to lure me into complacency with sex and sushi, then you just murder me in my sleep.” He rolled onto his back and whined for a second, but got up. He put on a pair of khaki shorts and a black Metallica t-shirt as I got into my dress again.

“God damn woman, you are so fucking sexy.” He tells me as he opens the door on my side of the truck and leans down to kiss me again. As I climb up he give my butt a little tap just like he used to and closes the door for me. The ache I’ve been feeling these long months has subsided. Sitting across the cab from me, holding my hand, he asks if we want to go look at travel trailers this weekend. For the first time in a while, I feel like everything is going to be alright.

[blueluneacy]

Bathed in Sunlight

oh boy. OH BOY! so i wrote that other kars fic and immediately wanted to write a sequel. so i did. i am going to drop dead this is all my writing energy for the week put into kars fucking

Word Count: 4.4k, holy fuck

Warnings: not sfw, marking, biting, kidnapping, yandere, stockholms syndrome, general nasties, slight breeding, dub con, threats, serious dead dove do not eat

Man, life really was kinda fucked up right now, wasn’t it? You sighed as you sat, trying to ignore the ugly feeling in your stomach. You knew that Kars was going to show up soon. He showed up every evening, bathed in the lowlight of the setting sun and just relishing in it, and god, you wondered if he just chose the time because he found it amusing that he could reach you in the light. Either way, it disgusted you. And yet, you couldn’t fight the way the sun slowly reached the western horizon, just as you couldn’t escape here. Not that you didn’t think about it, but the threat that Kars frequently reminded you of stuck in your mind, even if he didn’t have to say it. The blood that was on his shoes when he entered your room, or that you found tangled in his arm when he pulled you into a shared bath was enough. But that didn’t mean you had become the perfect little… pet? Partner? Spouse? You weren’t actually sure what Kars considered you, though you certainly considered yourself simply a trophy, a prize for his efforts, degraded and forced to be obedient, bent to his will. 

Well, sort of. You found that Kars was just the slightest bit less stubborn than you, leaving you just the least bit of wiggle room. The two of you knew when to pick your battles, when to relent and when to put your foot down. Kars seemed to be worn, tired from his days of carnage and reforming the world, allowing you to bicker and squabble over things that didn’t really matter, such as what you had to wear for the day or what the two of you would eat. On the other hand though, Kars never let you make a peep over larger decisions, like what the two of you would do, or where your place was. You were expected to come to heel when he gave you that look, and you did, but not because you wanted to, but because you were terrified, terrified of what he would do, both to you and to the rest of the world. It was a terrible burden to bear, this feeling that every action you took had the fate of the world in the balance, but you couldn’t help your nature. You were stubborn, you were angry you had to be here, and you hated Kars for what he had done to you. 

You told yourself that, at least. It was easiest to tell yourself that all you felt in your chest was hatred, that it was all that pang you occasionally felt was just disgust. If you continued to tell yourself that over and over and over again, it would become true. It had to be. But alas, there wasn’t time to think about everything like that, it only brought down your mood. Not that you could ever have a good mood in a place like this. While the cage was gilded, it was still a cage nonetheless, and although you were certain that whatever you asked for would be given to you, all of it was not without its price. You grit your teeth as you heard those footsteps echo down the hall, leaning against the windowsill as you looked out to the forestry that surrounded this new home. Kars loved to be surrounded by nature, but the forestry and mountainous range was also a good natural defense. Smart bastard.

You didn’t turn when you finally heard the door open, hoping Kars didn’t notice the way you stiffened up, continuing to stare out into the distance. You heard him sigh at the way you avoided looking at him, the way you tried to deny him of the prize he felt as though he had rightfully earned.

“You aren’t even going to greet your lover when he enters the room?” Kars’ voice was harsh, and you could tell he was not in the best of moods. Well, that just isn’t fair, you hadn’t even done anything to piss him off yet. But still, you sighed and turned, looking over at the man and sighing. 

“Sorry. I had seen a deer, I was focused on it.” You lied easily these days. It seemed like you had become a lot better at it, your voice no longer quivering when you did, but Kars only adapted, taking in your lies and deciphering them all. It wasn’t that hard, really, you didn’t work hard to hide your vitriol, but today, it seemed that Kars pretended to buy it. 

“I see. Well then, come here. It’s been a long day, I wish to relax with my darling beside me.” Kars told you, already moving to lounge on a loveseat in the room, beckoning you forward with a curl of his finger. You just sighed, pulling yourself up from your chair and moving on over to your so-called lover. You sat down next to him, only for Kars to simply roll his eyes and reach over to pull you into his lap, smiling when the only resistance you put up was a huff of annoyance. 

“How was your day, my dear? I know you must be so lonely, being left alone without me…” He cooed into your ear. You just rolled your eyes. 

“My day was quite pleasant, actually. I had just a fine time by myself, reading and trying to figure out how to duplicate myself so I can escape this hell.” You replied with a sneer, leaving Kars just to dig his nails into your hips, obviously annoyed.

“Oh, how wonderful. Well, that time has ended, so I suppose you’ll have to continue tomorrow.” Kars spat, and you knew that you should probably bite your tongue at this point, but you didn’t care. You didn’t want to be here, as much as a piece of you relished in how you were so close to Kars, clinging to him and safe from all outside danger in his arms. But you ignored that piece, reviled it, hoped that it would die out in your time here as you let poison drip from your tongue. 

“Yes, I suppose I’ll have to remember how you murdered all my friends another time.” You replied, leaving Kars just to growl, turning you around and grabbing you by the chin so tight you wondered if you would have finger shaped bruises.

“Do you think you’re the only one who mourns, dearest? You forget that your friends struck the first blow, that… That your little friends killed the companions I had before your civilization was even an idea.” He let you go, and for a moment, you could actually see hurt in Kars’ eyes, a pang of guilt hitting your heart as you desperately tried to lock away, to keep yourself from giving into this obvious appeal to your emotions. Because he was right, you knew that. But still, everyone did what they had to do.

“You wanted to destroy everything. We had to do what we had to do.” You replied, shrugging as you looked away from the way his eyes bore into you.

“Yes. And so did I. The fact that you hold me to account for that when everything now comes into equality is truly hypocritical on your part.” Kars told you. You wanted to bite back, that he’s, you know, literally caused the death of millions, but before you could, he pulled you just a bit closer, pressing your chest against his. “It’s ironic, in a way. We are truly the last of our peoples. It’s only fate that we would end up together like this.” He told you, his lips moving closer to yours as he attempted to pull you into a kiss, but you just gulped, pushing him away in your panic, in your realization that no, Kars really did love you, and it was so much more sickening that you knew that in a way, he was right, your hatred of him was a little unjustified at the beginning. I mean, at this point in time, even if you threw out everything else he did, the kidnapping, threats of violence, and the fact that he was murdering all people who dared to challenge him was enough cause for hatred, but hey. You weren’t exactly concerned with semantics right now.

“I don’t care! I hate you, I really do hate you! You’re terrible! You can keep me here, you can torture me, but you can never force me to love you!” You spat, backing away from Kars as he grit his teeth, rising from his seat and looking down at you with an anger you rarely had seen.

“Oh, can’t I? You already are succumbing to me, I know you are, darling. You just need a little more convincing.” Kars replied, easily reaching over and grabbing you by the wrist and beginning to drag you onto the bed, ignoring as you squirmed and attempted to break free of his grasp. He just growled, throwing you onto the bed and easily maneuvering on top of you, pinning you down easily.

“You’re brave, but your stubbornness is simply pigheaded. Your insistence to try and fight every little gesture I give to you is infuriating, and I intend to put an end to that behavior.” Kars told you, his voice low in his throat. Before you could even bite back, his lips smashed into yours, all teeth and tongue. You weren’t quick enough to press your lips together, forced to submit to your lover’s kiss as he played with the collar of your loose fitting shirt. You whimpered, attempting to pull away only for Kars to lean in more, not breaking the kiss until he was satisfied. He smirked down at you as he saw the way you were breathless, panting and confused, swallowing as you looked up at the Pillarman, begging with your eyes for some sort of forgiveness. But still, it wouldn’t come. Kars just chuckled, easily tearing off your top with his claw like nails, leaving you to gasp, attempting to free yourself from his grasp once again. 

“Oh, darling, don’t make me have to tie you up. You will let me do as I please during this, and you will enjoy all of it.” Kars growled, before moving his mouth to your shoulder and biting down, hard. You squeaked at the pain, taking deep breaths as you felt the vampire drink from you as he pleased. You could tell that he planned on making sure that the wound stayed and scarred, the idea of being marked by the man making you clench your legs together. God, get your head in the game! There was no way you could actually like any of this, and you were going to make that clear. To Kars at least, if you couldn’t make it clear to yourself.

“T-There’s no way I’m going to enjoy this… You can’t make me enjoy anything, you sick bastard…” You tried to sound at least the slightest bit threatening, but your attempt was pretty weak at best. Kars just hummed, pulling away from your neck and licking his lips. You saw the way your blood clung to his teeth and just shuddered, looking away as your face flushed. 

“Is that so, darling? Well, we’ll just have to see about that…” He told you, releasing your arms in favor of reaching down and pulling off your underwear, carelessly tossing it to the side once off. You gasped at how he easily spread your legs apart, seeing how your body was producing just a bit of lubricant, a fact you quite wanted to ignore. Kars just hummed, running a finger along your folds to gather some up on his finger before licking it off. You just huffed, looking away as Kars chuckled at your dismay.

“Don’t look away. I want your eyes on me at all times while I do this.” His voice was smooth, sultry as he slotted his head between your thighs, your eyes widening.

“W-Wait, what are you-” Your own moan cut you off as Kars licked a long stripe against your folds, relishing in the way your thighs clenched around his head to bring him closer. You whimpered a bit, biting the inside of your cheek to keep yourself quiet as Kars easily lapped at your pussy, his tongue pushing inside of you before pulling out and moving to press chaste kisses against your inner thighs.

“How cute, you’re already clenching around nothing, pet. Have I been neglecting you? Oh, don’t worry, I won’t be making that mistake again.” He chuckled, before moving back in, pressing a finger inside of you. He was careful about it, fearing his claws would tear you open. You just grit your teeth, trying to stay strong, but god was it hard! Kars was obviously much more experienced than you, knowing exactly what to say to make you weak kneed.

“S-Shut up, you f-fucking- Ngh!” You threw your head back as Kars added another finger, the pad scraping against you g-spot. You panted as Kars took note, experimentally prodding at the spot and leaving you to moan. “Oh, pleasepleasepleaseplease-!” You moaned out, instinctually running a hand through Kars’ long hair. You were surprised to find that it was a lot softer than you imagined. Kars just chuckled, letting his tongue run over your clit before scissoring his fingers, stretching you open. When you realized that he was opening you up for his cock, you just clenched around his fingers again.

“There we go, perfect. This is what you should be doing, begging while I stretch you open for me. Such a pretty little pet, panting and mewling just for me.” He crooned, leaving you to whine. You wanted to argue so bad, that it wasn’t your fault that his fingers just so happened to feel amazing inside of you, but you weren’t sure that you could exactly make a convincing argument for that, especially while said fingers were still inside of you. So you chose only to respond with a soft moan, bucking your hips gently, unsure if you were trying to get him to stop or get more out of the experience. 

Either way, Kars took it as an act of submission, moving back down to lap at the juices now freely flowing from you before adding a third finger. It actually stung a little, but the slight pain was greatly outweighed by the desire to be filled that was threatening to overwhelm you. You gripped Kars’ hair just a bit tighter, trying to pull him in closer as he worked you open, groaning softly at the way you just gave into him. But he was too slow, too teasing for you. You needed more, and now, but you didn't want to actually be the one to ask for it. No, that was a point of pride for you at this point, trying to calm yourself down as your body got hotter and more worked up, aching to be filled by this man who had ruined your life. 

“K-Kars, I, oh god, p-please, I, oh right there, w-wait, n-no more, I, oh fuck!” Well, that attempt to try and get him to stop was great. You could barely get the words out, hips rolling against Kars’ face as he chuckled, the nails of one of his hands digging into the meat of your thighs.

“What is it pet? Do you need more? Do you need me to fuck you, to make you scream so everyone in this building knows who you belong to?” 

No! “Yes!” God damn it! It was like your rational mind had been thrown out the window, consumed by the desire for Kars to fuck you, mark you, keep as his, safe and warm with him. “Please, I need it, please fuck me, please?” Your voice got softer, batting your eyes in the way you know Kars liked. When you felt like Kars was going to put his foot down on something, you tended to pull out those puppy dog eyes, knowing that Kars had a hard time resisting them. But, well, apparently those eyes didn’t translate to everything. Kars just hummed, pulling his mouth away from you but keeping his fingers inside of you, leaving you to just whimper as you saw your own juices on Kars’ chin.

“But, I thought you hated me, darling. Wouldn’t you rather I leave you alone, let you be here all by yourself?” Kars asked, his voice mocking in a way that made you just the slightest bit angry. God damn this man, he was really just going to make you say it, wasn’t he? Bastard.

“I-I… Please Kars. I need you, please. Y… You’re the one who made me like this, you have to take responsibility.” You told him, trying to make it sound reasonable, as if the two of you were actually arguing again, but this time you sounded so much more meek, your voice quiet and embarrassed. Kars just hummed, pulling his fingers out of you slowly, leaving you to whine in protest. He let his tongue lave along them before pulling you into a bruising kiss, watching as you just melted into it, wrapping your arms around the man and whimpering as you tasted your own juices on your tongue. When he finally pulled away, you were breathless, squirming and attempting to spread your legs wider. Kars relished in your submission, in the power he held over you, using your own body against you in his fight to gain your affections. And the worst part was, it worked. Really fucking well. You watched as Kars quickly disrobed, swallowing as he finally pulled himself out of his loincloth, before looking away. God, he was massive, what the fuck! You were ill prepared for that, this may be a mistake. But Kars just smirked at your staring, slotting himself in between your thighs and rubbing his cock against your slickened folds.

“Didn’t you ever learn it was rude to stare? Or is it that you’re so entranced by me that you can’t help it?” Kars asked, leaning in closer as he positioned his body to hover over yours, his mouth leaning into your neck and shoulders to nip and suck deep bruises onto them, basking in the idea of marking you for everyone to see. Of course, there aren’t many people left to see it, but the sentiment was there. You whimpered as Kars rubbed against you, teasing you as the head never actually caught at your entrance. You pursed your lips and dug your nails into Kars’ shoulders just a bit, trying to express your frustration, but the Pillarman just seemed to laugh.

“What is it, darling? If you want something, you’ll need to tell me clearly.” Kars told you. You just looked away, clearly embarrassed as you started to wriggle a bit, hoping to see if you could take what you wanted yourself.

“B-But I already said it once! Don’t make me beg you again, it’s embarrassing Kars…” You tried to play up your whole innocent act. You weren’t lying, it was extremely embarrassing, but you were certainly trying to appeal to Kars as you stared at the sheets. He just smiled, not cruelly but in a way that actually made your heart flutter in a way you wished you could suppress, leaning into your ear and cooing sweetly.

“Tell me what you want again, sweetness. I love to hear you tell me, I could listen to it over and over again. I want to make you feel good, I’ll need to know exactly what it is you need from me.” His voice was so gentle, enough to make you completely relax against the bed as you finally seemed to fully fall under whatever spell Kars seemed to have cast over you, blinking up a few times before finally responding.

“I… I want you to fuck me Kars. Please, make me yours.” You replied, a glaze coming over your eyes as Kars smiled, pulling you into a tender kiss before slowly pushing into you. Your eyes widened at the stretch, easily clawing at Kars’ back in reaction to just how massive he was. No matter how much you felt like you wanted this, poor prep was poor prep after all. But Kars moved slowly, pulling away and whispering into your ear how well you were doing, how greedily your sweet cunt was swallowing up his cock, how you were almost there, just a few more inches. When Kars’ finally bottomed out inside of you, you felt almost sickeningly full, holding onto your lover tightly and trying to take deep breaths as you adjusted to the side inside of you. 

“So good for me, there we go. Such a sweet, tight thing, pulling me in. I knew you loved me the same way I loved you, you just were too stubborn to admit it…” Kars whispered into your ear as he started to pull out, before slamming back inside of you. You let out a gaspy moan, your head rolling back as Kars began a slow but brutal pace, making sure you felt the drag of his cock in every thrust. You moaned, resting your head on Kars’ shoulder before the bold idea of mouthing your own hickies onto him occurred. He growled a bit at the feeling, his pace speeding up just the slightest bit as you sucked on his skin, frustrated to see your marks disappear as quickly as you left them. You grumbled a bit, biting down a little harder and smiling as you heard Kars gasp, before leaning in and giving you a nip of his own. He was clearly amused by the whole debacle, but there was also a clear message that he intended to remain in charge here, and that anything you do should remain playful at most. But all you wanted to do was mark your lover in the same way that he had marked you, and when it seemed like that wasn’t going to work, you resigned yourself to laying your head against his shoulder, crying out your praises and pleads to the man.

“K-Kars, please, so good, more, you feel s-so good, so big, fuck, need you, please, mooooore…” You whined, on the verge of drooling onto his shoulder as the Pillarman adjusted his hips to thrust into you a bit more deeply, the head of his cock nudging up against your womb and leaving you to shudder.

“Heavens, you’re mine. All mine, I love you, mine, mine to keep and fuck and fill full of my children. Don’t you ever forget that.” He growled into your ear, clearly starting to lose some of his senses as his pace sped up, his hips slamming against yours as he grew more feral, his hands finding their way to your hips and digging his claws into them to leave pinpricks of blood to spill from your soft flesh. In return, you just cried out and wrapped your legs around Kars’ waist, trying to pull him closer as you began to near your end.

“Y-Yes, Kars, god! Feels so good, please!” You were practically mewling at this point, your voice heady and broken as Kars took what he wanted from you, and god, you couldn’t be any happier over it.

“Say it. Say that you’re mine, that you love me.” Kars’ voice was low, husky, more akin to an animal than to a human at this point, but you couldn’t help but stumble over yourself to comply, to try and please him in hopes of reaching your own peak.

“All yours, I’m yours Kars! I love you, love you so much, I’ve always loved you, god, please, I’m so close, please let me cum, I need you!” You whimpered, your declaration of love enough for Kars to wrestle your head off his shoulder so he could look you in the eye, and you vague were able to take note of the wild look he had in his own, something that should scare you but only made pleasure curl more tightly in your belly. 

“Good, cum for me, cum all over my cock and milk me, make me cum inside of you, plant my child in your belly, cum for me, (Y/n)!” His voice steadily grew louder until he was practically commanding you, and your body more than happily agreed, immediately clamping down on the man as you tumbled over the edge. You cried out Kars’ name as you found yourself in bliss, whimpering as you heard Kars let out a throaty, inhuman sound before sinking his teeth into your shoulder, holding onto you as he came. You moaned, quickly finding yourself rushing to overstimulation as Kars filled you up, easily pumping you full of copious amounts of cum, to the point where your belly started to look just a tad bigger. You blushed as you felt some of his cum push past the seal of his cock, dripping onto the sheets and leaving a mess to mix with your own slick. 

When Kars finally pulled out and pressed his lips against yours, you nearly collapsed into the sheets, tired and sweaty from your vigorous lovemaking. You knew that you should feel upset. Embarrassed, angry even, but all you felt was calm, serene and fulfilled as Kars laid down next to you and pulled you into his arms. You didn’t fight them, only closing your eyes and laying your head against his chest.

“The poor sheets are going to stain…” You mumbled, trying to find the slightest bit of reason you could still grapple at to get out of this, to fight the now dominant side of your brain that told you that Kars loved you, he protected you, and you loved him back. Of course you did, didn’t you always?

“I’ll have someone clean them tomorrow, don’t worry. Just get some sleep, my dear. I’ll be here when you wake.” He cooed, and you just relaxed in his arms, snuggling up. The words slipped out, really, without any control over them. No one could blame you for saying them, for whispering something that only the two of you would hear.

“I love you.” And Kars just sighed, leaning in to press a kiss on your forehead as you finally began to drift off to sleep, knowing that the two of you would awake bathed in sunlight, reborn as the new rulers of this world. As the lover Kars always envisioned the two of you would be.

“I love you too, sweetling. I always have.”

[ratonnhhaketon]

If you're uncomfortable with it: maybe a plus size female reader x Arthur Morgan, where she comes from a good family but has never been appreciated and seen as a difficult daughter to marry off. She and Arthur help each other with their own insecurities and he's a sweet gentleman to her. (Totally okay if you don't want to write it though! Have a lovely day! 💛💛)

Read on Ao3

Warnings: Mentions of Micah Bell, Fatphobia, Fluff, Comfort, Mild angst

A/N: Thank you for the request! I apologize that this took so long, I’ve been loaded with school work this past week and haven’t had much time to write. But nevertheless I hope you enjoy reading!

Y/N came from a nice family. Good money, good land, good reputation. Never wanted for really anything, expect one: for her parents to approve of and appreciate her and not just focus on her weight. Growing up there were always girls her parents felt the need to compare her to.

“Why aren’t you as skinny as her? Don’t you think you should try to look like her to get a man? She’s so pretty, I bet she’ll get a husband soon.” These were just some of the words etched into her brain, the stinging phrases every adult would say to her to make her feel worse about herself. Any attempt to marry her to a promising young man was in vain, as something always ended up making them say no. And thus, resulted in more of her parents blaming her “unfavorable” appearance on the failed engagement.

No matter how hard she tried to be more pretty, or more skinny, or just more acceptable in her parents’ eyes, the less she was happy with herself.

That was, until she joined the gang.

The last time her old life had crossed her mind was when everyone was huddled into a tiny hut in Colter, trying to figure out what they would do to stay alive. Davey was freshly dead, his body barely clinging to the last few tendrils of warmth it still had. She missed the warmth and security of her parents’ estate. The soft blankets and fireplaces in almost every room. She missed the atmosphere, but certainly not the people dwelling within.

But the gang was her home now, her new family. If it wasn’t for the gang, she never would have met Arthur.

Arthur.

He was her rock. The one she loved more than anything, the one who would be there for her through any emotion regardless of how intense. And now was one of those times.

Recently Micah had been constantly poking fun at her for absolutely any reason, big or small. She had learned to brush off his comments, but lately some of them had been getting to her. Specifically the ones about her weight.

So now she Y/N sat on a rock by the edge of camp, overlooking the edge of Flat Iron Lake. Micah’s words echoed in her mind as she sat deep in thought, not even paying attention to the setting sun like she did every other night. She had not even realized she started crying until tears had landed on her hands nervously picking at each other in her lap. Soon the tears fell freely and she didn’t care who noticed.

Before long she was sobbing, a hand clasped over her mouth and her cries shaking her body. She felt hopeless, scared, even alone.

That is, until Arthur had approached her form and immediately sat beside her. His strong arms wrapped around her shoulders, to which she jumped in surprise before realizing who it was and relaxing, and he pulled her onto his lap. He rested his chin atop her head and spoke in a low voice, “Darlin’, you alright? D’ya wanna talk about it?”

She buried her face into his chest and breathed deeply in an attempt to try and stop the tears. “Mi-Micah..” was all she could choke out between sobs. Although learning that the bastard of a man mistreated his sweetheart was enough to make his vision run red, he rubbed his hand in comforting circles circles across her back to calm both of them down. He could make Micah pay for his actions later- right now his only priority was making sure his girl was taken care of.

The two sat like that for a few minutes as Y/N calmed down until the only noise between them was quiet sniffles and hiccups.

“Y/N,” Arthur said in a low voice, a hand coming up to cup her cheek lovingly. “Are you alright?”

She nodded slowly. “Yeah,” she said with a hiccup, wiping her running nose on the back of her sleeve. “I know you always tell me to ignore those comments and that he’s only trying to get a rise out of me, but today I just.. couldn’t. I..I just-“ she felt tears well up behind her eyes and she hastily blinked them back before they could fall. “It’s hard sometimes. He just reminds me of how I could never live up to my family’s expectations about my appearance.”

Her eyes drifted down to her hands and she bit her quivering lip out of nervousness, but both of Arthur’s hands had cupped her cheeks. He gently tilted her head up so he could look into her eyes. He ran his thumb over her cheekbone, wiping away a stray tear, before speaking, “Y/F/N Y/L/N, I love you so much. And I know you know that, but you also need to know that the only expectations that matter are your own. I will always be with you no matter what happens, and you can forget about your god-forsaken family and their horrible opinions on you. I love every single inch of you. And I’ll admit I still don’t know why you chose a big dumb oaf like myself, but I wake up every day grateful that you did and that I can call you mine.” His lips upturned into a smile before he spoke up again, "There's just more of you for me to love than the average woman, and I wouldn't change that for the world."

She looked at him for a moment, taking in how sincere his words were, before reaching up to grab his shirt collar and pulling him into a passionate kiss. Their lips moved in sync, their bodies in perfect harmony as if they were one entity.

When they both pulled back for air, Y/N was the first to speak. “Arthur Morgan.. I know you don’t see yourself the same way I do, but you are not some ‘big dumb oaf,’ you’re the man I fell in love with. You do so much for me and everyone in camp and we definitely would not be where we are right now without you.” As she spoke, his hands dropped from her face to her hips, with his thumbs rubbing tiny circles into the soft material of her skirt. Her head slightly tilted to the side with a sad smile on her lips. “It makes me sad that you don’t see how important you are to everyone in the gang, especially me. You’re handsome, and strong, and the kindest soul I’ve ever met.” He opened his mouth to retaliate, to which she immediately raised a finger to his lips and shushed him. “I know, I know- ‘I ain’t a good man’. I’m not saying you have to be. I know you’ve killed and robbed people, but all of us have. You don’t hurt those that haven’t hurt others, and you help those that have been hurt.” She paused for a moment to grab one of his hands and intertwine their fingers. “Especially me.”

He felt his own tears prick at the corners of his eyes at her heartfelt words. Arthur stared at her features, admiring how they glowed from the moonlight slowly creeping into the night sky above them. She looked ethereal, like a goddess, and he was thankful to whatever higher being decided he was lucky enough to have met her. “I love you, Y/N.”

She smiled at him sweetly. “I love you too, Arthur. So much.” She glanced at the sky above them before looking back at him, not even noticing until now that night had fallen around them. “It’s getting late. Could we go to bed?”

Arthur didn't answer, he just simply slid an arm behind her knees and stood in one fluid motion, earning a surprised squeal from the woman in his arms. He walked back into camp, not paying any attention to the sly looks and low whistles from John and Javier by the campfire. He brought Y/N into their shared tent and set her down on the cot before planting a sweet kiss on her lips.

“Getcha ‘self ready for bed. I’ll be back in a minute, darlin’.” She watched as he pushed his sleeves up above his elbows and walked confidently out of the tent before hearing “MICHA BELL, where the fuck are you hidin’!” being roared across camp.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Ava + haunted?

(Technically still a reader insert, but the reader is really only there for observation. Had an idea in my head already and thought this prompt worked for it. Helped me get out of my writing slump, which I blame on the cold I had last week. Anyway, enjoy? Hopefully?)

You’ve never been afraid of Ava. Sure, everyone at the castle knows that xe has the respect of the Dimitrescu family, but you know xer. No servant is kinder, more dedicated to xer job, or more willing to step up to do what is right. In your mind, xe is akin to a saint among devils. There was little, if anything, that xe could theoretically do to change your mind. Alas, the world is not the kindest nor the safest place, and there would eventually come a time where your opinion was challenged. It all started very simply, very horribly, on an otherwise normal day.

“Hmm? Do you need something, Ava?” Natalia asks, barely audible from where you stand, on the other side of the library. Clothing rustles, further enticing your attention. “Uh, don’t mind that! It’s nothing, I assure you, I just slipped and scraped my arm earlier.” Curiosity overwhelms, and you cannot help but poke your head around the corner to see what is happening. A very flustered looking Natalia is standing with her sleeves rolled up, exposing a partially healed wound, gaze locked with an irritated Ava. The tension is palpable, with both parties stiff in every muscle. For once, the selectively mute butler speaks up, voice low and rough.

“I recognize that pattern. You broke the vase, didn’t you?” Xe accuses, snarling a little. Before Natalia can respond to defend herself, xe continues, glaring up at her with all the intimidation possible for someone of xer height. This is already the most you’ve ever heard xer speak, though the situation certainly calls for it. “Someone else took the blame for that. Someone else got punished!” Pursing her lips, Natalia gives a weak shrug, expressing the non-verbal equivalent of a dry ‘so?’. Evidently that wasn’t the response Ava had been looking for. Xe grabs her by the shirt collar, lifting her up as if she were a measly bag of groceries, pressing her against the nearest bookshelf. “Fuckin’ bastard. She might never sing again, or even talk! You know that, right? You understand what Lady Daniela put her through, yeah? How can you be so goddamn nonchalant about this?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t understand,” Natalia spits out, as quickly as she can, trying hard not to show the trembling of her lips, or the way her eyes want to widen in fear. “Everybody here looks out for themselves, first and foremost. We both know you wouldn’t have ever come here if you weren’t sick. I’m not a monster for taking care of myself, just like you aren’t one for kissing ass with those freaks we work-” she’s interrupted with a grunt, as Ava slams their foreheads together. A sickening sort of ‘crack’ fills the air, but xe doesn’t seem phased at all, despite the way Natalia cries out in pain. Instead, xe just drops her to the floor like a discarded toy.

“I’m going to haunt you,” Ava growls, squatting down in front of Natalia, who watches with narrowed eyes and pure hatred in her expression. “She’s my friend. You’re the reason she got hurt. I’ll be the reason you spend every day working yourself to the bone, every muscle aching, every single goddamn day for the rest of your miserable fucking life. A long life. I’m going to follow your every move, the shadow under your steps, the breath on the back of your neck, covering every fuck up, mistake, or accident with the potential to get you killed. You will never escape, and you will not die unless I give you permission. You will beg for death, and when I finally give it to you, I will draw it out, a crooked memorial to your cruelty, ending with pure poetry: A piece of a broken vase, jabbed squarely into your fucking throat.”

With that said, Ava turns away, finally spotting you, as you stand frozen in fear. There’s no hesitation at all in xer response. As if the past two minutes had all been a hallucination on your part, xe simply smiles and waves, before walking right past you to one of the room’s exits. For a single moment you consider calling after xer, if only to ask if xe is alright. But your jaw is unrelenting in its position. You say nothing, nor do you spare Natalia any more than a judgeful glance. In the end, she had almost been right about the servants only looking out for themselves. You certainly weren’t intending to help her at any point. On the other hand?... You’d never treat Ava the same (or see xer in the same light) again.

[jurijurijurious]

Writerly ephemera meme

I was tagged by @thisbluespirit in this rather intriguing meme!

Find five bits of yourself that you gave to your fiction (memories and places and phrases and things into our stories), post and tag five or more writers to share as well.

Now I know I do write bits of myself and my experiences into my stories, one way or another, I think everyone does, but it doesn’t half put you on the spot when you have to try to remember where you’ve done it!

1) I know that recently I wrote Walsingham passing out at the end of a scene in “Mea Culpa”. The entire description is based on personal experience. I went through a scary few years as a young teen where I would pass out for little to no reason, usually at school where there were lots of people watching to cause me huge embarrassment, which then almost gave me a form of PTSD. I was constantly anxious about fainting, it was not good, and we never found out why it happened. But that’s another story... I still occasionally pass out but it’s usually for a reason, after having a vaccine or blood taken or something, but the whole process of fainting, though horrible, is like an old nemesis to me, uncomfortably familiar. I generally feel intense sickness in my stomach, my vision is puckered increasingly with white dots, my entire body comes out in a sweat, and I hear a high pitched whistle-type noise as I lose consciousness. And so since that is my experience, it became Wals’s too:

His palms sweated, his pulse raced...  He shuddered and emitted another strangled breath, fingers white where he clutched the window sill, body trembling.  He needed rest.  Ursula's voice was becoming distant, the room was swaying like the deck of a ship caught in a storm.  He felt a sudden nausea in his stomach, could hear a high pitched sound in his ears, a siren's wail beckoning him into the abyss.

“I am sorry.  So very sorry,” he whispered, though he knew not exactly who he was addressing.  His own voice now sounded as if it was coming from underwater, far away; he was drowning and could resist no more, slipped where he stood and descended into the open arms of oblivion.

2) This is another Walsibeth example I’m afraid because I haven’t written anything else for about a decade! So... Though the pandemic and my lack of funds has put a temporary hold to my hobby of horse riding, I am a half-capable rider and love tearing across country if opportunity allows on horseback. I can thus write people riding horses (English style, anyway) with a degree of accuracy. So in my smutty one-shot fic “In perpetuum et unum diem” (the one which is mostly a pastiche of the raunchy finale of “The Tudors” season 1, and also an excuse for me to write shameless sex), I began the ficlet with a bit of a horse-race between Bess and Wals to get the blood up (a scene that in itself mirrors Elizabeth’s racing with Raleigh in TGA, I later realised). Though I personally haven’t raced a person on horseback per se, I have done beach rides and also ridden on a horseback safari in Africa where you gallop as a group, and “giving your horse its head” is the order of the day! So a lot of this passage is me:

She turned her head back over her shoulder and caught Francis’ eyes.  His lip quirked slightly at the corner but otherwise there was no change to his countenance.  But that was enough.  Her smile deepend as if to invite him to race her and she turned her head back around, gave her dappled grey mare its head and pressed her calves to its flanks.  And the beast responded, driving its legs harder, faster, into a gallop and flew like a falcon through the trees.

...

As the wind flew in Elizabeth’s face, making her eyes water, a great whoop of exhilaration escaped her.  There was nothing but her and the horse, and the knowledge that her blackguard of a lover galloped behind her.  This was what it should feel like to live, even in tragically brief snippets; to feel the blood in your veins, the air in your chest, and the sun on your face, wild and free.

They then jump a tree trunk which I’d love to say I’d do, and I might, but most of my falls have been from jumping so I’d probably wimp out and go the long way around... ;)

3) Annnd another one from my Walsibeth fic “Mea Culpa”, just because it’s fresh in my mind. When I was driving to work last winter, there was one Sunday morning which had a jaw-droppingly beautiful sunrise. I tried to take a photo of it but could not do it justice. I did find a photo of Lincoln Cathedral on instagram from the same morning though which captured the sky perfectly. It literally looked like the sky was on fire, or something, and I immediately worked this memory into my story! I felt that a sky like that would make the perfect backdrop for a single, forlorn, broken bastard riding his horse in a clear, freezing morning:

There was a strange light in the sky as the sun began to make its ascent.  It turned a deep crimson then lifted to shades of rich amber and gold; this combined with the few grey clouds passing overhead gave it the illusion of a huge fire, as if a great furnace now filled the heavens.  Some might have called it beautiful, others would see a grim omen.

4) I had a look in my dreaded old fic archive, so full of cringe, and I found this from the end of my Doctor Who fic “Choices”, which I reckon I wrote between 2005-2006, possibly finishing it later than that. This scene right at the end (told from the perspective of Rose and the ninth Doctor’s daughter, Hope) is literally my old senior school - the class length, the finish time, the uniform was what I wore, and my history teacher was Mrs. Gaskin, and my mum would be waiting in her car to pick me and my sisters up:

By a quarter-to-three in the afternoon, she was in another History lesson with Mrs. Gaskin, and was spending another forty-five minutes hearing about the Black Death, the plague doctors, and the red crosses that were painted on people’s doors. It was fascinating, but Hope’s concentration wasn’t there. She kept looking out of the window at the school yard, noticing the little details that other days she would take for granted - like the way the trees swayed in the wind, the way a crisp-packet rolled across the concrete, and the pure azure-blue colour of the cloudless sky. Something was afoot but she had no idea what it was, or why she was feeling this way.

The bell rang finally at the end of the lesson, as the clock read three-thirty, and the class disappeared swiftly out of the door. It was home time! The voices of myriads of children echoed and shrilled down the corridors, and desperate feet, eager to get home, pounded down the stairs, making for the exits. White shirts were un-tucked from trouser and skirt hems, blue-and-red ties were loosened from about shirt collars, and black blazers were thrown off and carried over shoulders as the mass of pupils took flight.

Hope, however, took things slowly, almost as if she might never see them again, picking up on every smile, every individual laugh, and every joke pulled on every unsuspecting victim. She waved goodbye to friends, hitched her backpack over her shoulder, and made her way out of the school gates toward the spot where her mum or Uncle Jack would usually be waiting to pick her up. As she turned the corner onto Petunia Grove, though, she stopped and sighed. The car - either her mum’s or Jack’s - was not there.

Hope pursed her lips and shrugged, taking another good look around just to make sure that she hadn’t missed it, but there wasn’t a familiar car in sight. She thus let her bag slip off her shoulder, and she perched her backside on the street sign, swinging one of her feet back and forth as she waited for the arrival of her escort.

In the meantime, she couldn’t help but let her mind wander again, as it had been doing often throughout the day, and looked around the street. There was a blue tit on the hedge over the road, stood near a couple of sparrows and a robin. The front door of house number five was a brilliant shade of red, something which she had never really noticed before, and there was some graffiti on the road sign on the opposite side of the street. It read ‘Bad’ something or other, but she couldn’t read the other word since it was blocked off by the blue box.

Hope blinked and slowly rose to her feet. It couldn’t be…

5) And for number five, this is a short extract from the an unpublished Star Wars fic I wrote around 2010, where I tried for what must have been the third time to re-write the Star Wars nonsense I wrote as a teenager, all starring my very Mary Sue OC, Nadia, who became Vader’s apprentice and was mentored by Veers. I have here again worked my experiences of passing out into the story - a psychologist would have a field day with me. Nadia’s thoughts about showing weakness were also real fears of mine - I never liked to be weak, to be ill, to be a burden, and my character was the mouthpiece for my own self-disgust. It’s written in the first person with Nadia narrating in this scene where she accompanies General (Maximilian) Veers to the Kaminoan’s cloning facility to review further batches of troops and is taken ill by the experience of seeing the thousands of farmed foetuses:

Max nodded whilst I remained breathless and shaky in his shadow. I could not get those tiny, wriggling foetuses out of many head - they floated upon my consciousness, their inhuman eyes glaring into my face and their tiny hands reaching out toward me. I tried to rid myself of these infantile phantoms, but I could not, and I suddenly felt quite ill.

“We shall need many more in our next delivery,” Max told the creature, who began to babble on about the problems of this request, but was halted mid-sentence when Maximilian wheeled about and grabbed me, saying my name over and over. He disappeared amidst the snowstorm of white dots that littered my vision, however, and I collapsed upon the floor.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in a bright, white room. The walls dazzled me for a moment and it took my eyes and my mind time to adjust and to recognise reality. I looked slowly at the plain walls, finding myself alone upon a bed with my hands by my sides and a drip feeding liquid into my arm. This seemed quite surreal - I knew I was not ill enough to warrant this - but I resolved to stay put until someone came to me. I felt extremely tired and I thought that I may as well take advantage of the rest.

I fell back to sleep again and, when I next woke, I saw Max sat in a chair beside me. I glanced about the room - we were alone. I looked at him uncertainly, my visage undoubtedly betraying the signs of my mortification, for he first said: “Do not worry, Nadia, I am not angry with you. It cannot always be helped.”

...

I wanted to defy him, to be strong, but no, I just showed him weakness and insecurity. What indignity was this?

Thanks for the tag, that was fun! I can’t think of 5 writers to tag but off the top of my head: @feuillesmortes, @robins-treasure and @captainofthegreenpeas? Have a go if you fancy.

[jizemderler]

What could never be {Kim Namjoon}

A/N: You’re the boys stylist and one major requirement for this job was being married to minimize the rumors about the boys. Now you were married when you got the job...

Part 2

“Jungkook don’t!” you warned him and reached out your arms as if you could catch him if he fell into the pool. “You don’t have any back up clothes.” you added and glared at him with your heart heating against your chest.

“Noona’s glaring at me.” he said to the camera man while backing up from the pool and you took a deep breath while shaking your head. You’re palms started sweating while you watched him so you rubbed them dry on your jeans. The ring on your ringfinger caught your attention and you turned it in between your fingers until someone called for your name.

You were flattening out Namjoons jacket while he watched you work. “Is this okay?” you asked while stepping back to look at him. “Move for me please.” you asked him and he lift his arms and turned his torso from left to right. “Your abs show a bit is that okay with you or should I change the length?” you asked him professionally and he thought about it for a second. “What song is it for?” you asked while looking at the list taped to the wall. “Oh, right. I would need to make a dress out of it if you don’t want your abs to show in that choreo.” you chuckled and he joined with his laugh.

“That’s it then?” he asked and you nodded. “If you’re comfy?” “Yeah.” he answered and you nodded again to dismiss him. “Call Taehyung in for me. He’s gonna complain about the weight of the jacket again but I can’t change that.” you said half jokingly and Namjoon chuckled while taking his shirt off.

“How’s your family doing?” he asked casually and your body tensed up. They knew that you were living alone with your husband. Well, your ex-husband. “Fine.” you answered quickly and didn’t look at him keeping your hands busy with the clothes. “Greet hyung from me.” he said and that made you look up because he would never greet your husband. “Sure.” you said after a fee seconds and he looked away. “I’ll get Tae.” he said after changing and left the room without saying anything else.

You finished work around 10pm and decided to grab a coffee before driving home. As soon as you sat down in your car you took off the golden ring and threw it into the box next to the drivers seat. You started the car and were about to drive off when suddenly someone knocked on the window. “What the..?” you said and saw Yoongi looking through the window mimicking you to roll down the window. “We’re going out to eat. Do you wanna tag along?” he asked and you thought about it for a second. You would feel alone at home so you agreed.

You were all sitting around a table enjoying some delicious korean barbeque when you noticed Namjoon looking at you. You catched his gaze and raised your eyebrows to ask him nonverbally what he wanted. He nodded towards your hand and just then you realized that you forgot your ring in the car. Your eyes widened and you pulled that hand under the table chuckling nervously. “My hands were swallen and I took it off.” you explained and he nodded.

***

It was about two weeks later and you had one on one sessions with the boys for the last fitting of their new outfits when it happened. You were standing in the hallway waiting for Namjoon to arrive. Jimin just had left and the studio was empty. You were writing something on your phone when you heared footsteps coming closer. “Hey!” you greeted him with a hug and he wrapped his arms around your waist. He was a giant of a man and you were kind of lost in his arms. “Hi.” he answered into your ear and a chill went down your spine.

“You ready to put the final versions of your outfits on?” you asked him enthusiastically as you stepped back and clapped your hands together. He nodded and you walked together into the fitting room. It was always fun working with Namjoon but today he seemed like he had something on his mind. He couldn’t hold still and it felt like he tried to escape your touch.

“Namjoon you need to hold still if you don’t want me to ram a needle into your chest.” you said while fixing the collar of his button up. You were finished with sewing the part and saw that you left the scissors on the table so you did what came first to your mind. You leaned in, your nose slightly brushing his neck and ripped of the excess garn with your teeth. “Got it.” you said holding the bit of garn up and smiled at him. You couldn’t really decipher the look in his eyes when you looked up so you were thrown off when he stepped closer and reached his hand out to pleace it on the crook of your neck to pull you in for a kiss. It was just a brief moment, just until you realized what was happening, his warm and soft lips against your. Before you could allow yourself to kiss him back you pushed at his chest and pulled away. “What..?” you whispered and covered your mouth with you hand. His eyes went down to your hand and stuck at your ringfinger. His own eyes went wide in shock and he reached his hand out but you stepped back.

“I think you should go.” you said while looking at the floor. “Noona- I...I’m sorry, I-...”

“Namjoon you need to leave.” you interrupted him and he let out a big sigh and started chewing his bottom lip. Seeing how cold you were he growled something, grabbed his jacket and left. As soon as you were alone you had to sit down and calm your nerves. “What just happened?” you said to yourself and traved your lips with the tip of your fingers. The feeling of his heavenly lips still lingering right there.

***

You didn’t talk to Namjoon for weeks after the accident. Whenever he tried to talk to you you brushed it off and kept working professionally. He was getting more fruatrated with every passing day and he snapped at last. When everybody else was out eating he pulled you into the very fitting room where it happened and locked the door.

“What’s this about?” you said and tried to walk past him but he blocked the exit. “We need to talk.” he said and you shook your head. “No we don’t”

“Yes we do. Listen.” he said and grabbed you by your shoulders. You wriggled yourself free and crossed your arms infront of your chest. “Look I’m not going to act like I don’t have any feelings for you because I do. But I shouldn’t have done that. I stepped over the line. You’re married and I don’t play that game. I’m really sorry. You were not wearing your ring constantly and he’s not picking you up from work and we haven’t seen him for almost a year now, so I got confused. I’m sorry these aren’t excuses. I shouldn’t have done anything.” he kept apologizing and the need to tell him grew inside of you with every passing minute. “I hope you won’t hate me. I will hold back and something like that won’t ever happen again. I hope you didn’t tell your husband. I don’t think he would appreciate you working somewhere where the guy has a crush on you. Let’s just atay friends and I’ll get over it. Just give me some time and don’t turn your back on me. That shit hurts even more. I don’t wanna loose you all together. I promise I won’t...”

“I got divorced.” you blurted out finally and his mouth fell open. “Wha-...”

“It’s been a little over a year. We got divorced but I’m still wearing the stupid ring of that bastard because I can’t loose this job. Not this too.” you said and looked away. “Please you can’t tell anyone. I’ll do anything you want I just need you to not tell anyone. Not even the b-..” You couldn’t finish your sentence because the next thing he did was cup your face with his large hands and kiss you. You were not able to kiss him back in the first seconds out of shok and tried to push him away but he was holding you in place until you gave in and kissed him beck. Your hands were resting on his chest and his wandered down to your hips. You parted when both of you were out of breath and he leaned his forehead against yours while smiling from ear to ear. You didn’t open your eyes and furrowed your brows coming back to reality. “We can’t do this.” you whispered and his smile faltered. “Why?” he said anxiously and you pushed him away gently. “Because I’ll get fired.” you said and he couldn’t answer to that. “I’ll talk to the managers...”

“No Namjoon. You don’t get it. I will get fired if we start something. It’s in the contract.” you said and stepped back. “I made a name for myself and work myself to the top here. If I loose my job because of a relationship with you, I will never find a nother job anywhere. No management will trust me anymore.”

“But we can try to...”

“Joon this is my dream. I worked so hard to get here. You’ll understand me better than anyone. I can’t loose this. I’m sorry.” you said and shook your head. This was really heartbreaking and you hated it. This could’ve been such a pure relationship, but it ended before it could start. He didn’t try to say anything but reached his hand out to take yours into his. He brushed his thumb gently over the back of your hand and amiled sadly.

“At least I won’t feel bad dreaming about you.” he said and your heart broke into a million pieces for a man who was never yours and could never be.

A/N: Part 2 anyone??? vdjdsn

[one-winged-whump]

Keeping Track

heyyy i never post writing, but I wanted to write a section where I retconned a character getting an injury and I really liked it, so I thought it would post it here!!

also yes this is in first person, and no i will not apologize for it <3

Warnings: pet whump, collars, fear, branding, manhandling, dehumanization, creepy whumper, torture

Word count: 2187

I cracked open my eyes and sat up as I heard the doors to the office click open. To my utter lack of surprise, Sisko was strolling into the room, much too chipper for the time of day. My face formed a snarl and the smaller feathers on my wings puffed in disgust as he passed me, and I had to resist the urge to reach out and knock his legs out from under him. The fine chain leash around my neck jangled as I turned my head to follow him with my gaze.

Unfortunately, he reached his desk unscathed and sat down with his mug of coffee to begin booting his computer up. As it did, he swiveled his chair around to face me, watching me with intense, appraising eyes. I scowled at him, hoping that looks would kill for once. But he didn’t chide me contemptuously like usual, just studied me like I was a particularly fascinating bug on a window sill.

When his login screen popped up, Sisko finally set his coffee down and turned to his computer, the faintest smile on his lips.

I huffed indignantly. We’d only been here a week and I was ready to tear this man limb from limb every moment of the day. Hopefully I’d get a chance soon. Then I could get the key to this stupid collar with its weird tech and go find the boys. Then we could all get out of here together and go home. It was a wildly outlandish plan, but I was willing to take any chance I could for an escape. I’d had enough of being treated like an animal, thank you very much.

The clacking from Sisko’s computer slowly brought me out of my own thoughts and I inwardly groaned. Why the hell was his keyboard so damn loud? Who even likes loud, clicky keyboards like that?

“You know, bird,” Sisko said suddenly, making me start. “You and your companions aren’t the only animals I own.” I wanted to scowl at him again, but that made me pause. Other animals?

“I have the more exotic ones like you tucked away in a room together. They’re quite impressive, honestly.” He chuckled, still not looking away from his screen. He continued casually, like he was talking to a friend instead of me, a bird girl chained to the ground.

“Everyone who sees them insists so. But you all are just that much more special.” He pulled away from his computer, rolling his chair backwards and turning to face me pointedly. “You’re the only ones of your kind.”

I glowered. Was he trying to say something that would upset me? If he was, this wasn’t it. I knew we were the only people like this, and it honestly didn’t bother me. It was everyone else who seemed to have some kind of problem with us.

“Yes, truly rare,” Sisko mumbled, seemingly to himself. Then his eyes fell on me again. He crossed his ankle over his knee and propped his head up with one elbow on his desk. “I feel like I need to make sure everyone knows that I own you now.” His smile, which had started out as a smug little smirk, was quickly turning into the excited grin of a child in a toy store. A shiver ran over my skin, but I kept my angry facade.

Sisko paused for a lingering moment before speaking again. “While I own rare and lovely animals, I also own cattle. Did you know that, bird?” I blinked in surprise. It made sense, I guessed, but somehow, it was impossible to imagine Sisko in his sharp, sleek suits overseeing fields of huge, smelly cows.

“Mostly for meat. I like to know where my food comes from, start to finish,” he clarified, and I rolled my eyes, folding my arms over my chest. Maybe if I pretended to be uninterested enough, he would just go back to ignoring me.

“And ‘start to finish’ means keeping constant track of all of this cattle,” he continued, prattling on and on. “Knowing the cows from the steer from the heifers from the springers. Knowing which ones have had their vaccines, which ones are sick.” He leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs the other way. “It’s all very important to know.” I sighed loudly and dramatically, slumping myself against the bookcase behind me. If this bothered him, he didn’t show it. Just kept that same unsettling grin.

“There are several ways to keep and identify cows from one another. An ear tag, of course, given at birth.” Sisko flicked his earlobe with a finger. “The easiest method, in my opinion, but they can fall off. So we must also have a backup method of keeping track of them.” I yawned exaggeratedly, hoping to annoy him into shutting the hell up. Why in the world was he telling me about his cattle, of all things?

“One of the alternate options is a tattoo on the inside of the ear,” Sisko explained, biting his bottom lip to try to contain his excited smile. “But it’s so hard to get them to stand still long enough to make it clear enough to read. Which leaves us with the other option.” He sat up, weaving his fingers together excitedly, eyes glittering. It made me extremely uneasy. I could feel some of my smaller feathers begin to puff up anxiously.

“Freeze branding is more popular these days, but I honestly prefer a good, old fashioned hot-fire brand, myself,” he said. “It might not be quite as good as freeze branding, but I would say it’s much more effective for...behavioral problems.” Sisko could no longer contain his feral grin, and I felt my heart seize in my chest suddenly. Shit. Fuck.

“I think they should just about be ready,” he said with mirth and I paled, head spinning. There was no way even he was batshit enough to do this to me. It had to just be some kind of horrible scare tactic, like stories parents tell their children to frighten them into obeying.

But sure enough, not fifteen seconds later, there was a knock at the door. My mouth went dry as Sisko called in a sing-songy voice “Enter!”

Three men entered the room wearing thick cloth gloves. I recognized them as some of the goons that had kidnapped us all in the first place. In their gloved hands, they carried a bucket with wash cloths hanging over the side, a blow torch, and a metal rod. The rod was a few inches longer than my arm, with a curved metal handle on one end, and a pattern I couldn’t make out in the other. My blood froze in my veins.

“So lovely to see you gentlemen again,” Sisko cooed to the men. “You may start whenever you’re ready.” I hoped, nay, expected at least one of them to grow a conscience and say “Hey, what we’re about to do is wrong!” But consciences seemed in short supply around here.

I scrambled to try to get away, but my collar and leash kept me securely fastened and unable to get more than a couple feet away. The men approached slowly, then one jumped on top of me, shoving me onto my back with enough force to snap my head against the marble flooring.

As I tried to blink the stars from my vision, hands gripped me from all sides and rotated me so now I was laying on my stomach.

“Oh, excellent choice,” Sisko purred from his desk. “I think that’s the perfect place for it.” I tried to at least get on my hands and knees, get just a touch of leverage to shake the bastards off, but there was a heavy weight on my legs, and my hands were bound together under my body. When the hell had that happened?

I heard the soft zrrip of a zip tie fastening and realized that my feet were also bound now. In a panic, I flapped my wings, hoping that if they couldn’t help me to my feet, they could at least disorientate the men.

But a shock of pain ran up my right wing as one of them smacked it down and slammed his boot down on it. I definitely would have cried out if I could have. Instead, I let out a gasping grunt.

My left wing was still free, but I stopped moving it when I slammed it harshly into the bookshelf in an attempt to hit one of the men. As soon as I paused, the man I’d tried to cuff with it stepped on top of my wing, putting his entire weight on it.

I was panting hard, trying so hard not to start crying and also trying to keep myself from absolutely losing it. With the two men on my wings, everything from the waist up was effectively pinned to the ground. When I moved my legs, the last man laid a threatening foot on it, so I stopped. I couldn’t deal with him breaking one or both of my legs. Not right now.

So I just had to lay immobile while the men above me flicked on the blow torch and began heating the long metal rod. The iron brand.

The wait was horrible. The only sound in the room was the loud wrooooosshhhh of the flame and my own breath coming in shallow gasps. Flat on my stomach, I couldn’t see what the men were doing. I could see the floor, part of the bookshelf, and a sliver of blue sky outside the window. I couldn’t even see Sisko, though I was sure his face still held that disgusting manic grin.

After what felt like hours, the blow torch snapped off, and I froze. Oh, no. The man on my left wing shifted, and I felt the bottom of my shirt being pulled up to my wings, exposing my lower back. Oh, god! My entire body was rigid, tense with dreadful anticipation. Please, god, someone help me! Please, I-

The most searing pain I’d ever felt shot through me. I screamed a mostly soundless guttural scream that hurt on the way out, but not nearly at the level of my lower back. I tried to squirm away for even the most minuscule relief of the more than white hot pain, but I felt boots on my neck, my shoulders, anything that could still move.

Tears were freely flowing down my face as my hands clawed at my stomach underneath me, as if I could reach through it and grab the pain away.

A foul smell reached my nose and I realized that was me. Sour and charred and sickening. That was my skin I could hear sizzling and blistering. I let out another hoarse, gasping wail from my gut and slammed my head into the marble floor, trying to stop the pain somehow.

I was breathing so hard that it felt like my entire body was jerking with spasms, which made the burning hot pain worse, which continued to make my breath come out in labored pants. On and on and on in a worsening circle. My head swam and my vision dimmed at the edges. Was I blacking out? I hoped I would, because that would be the only reprieve I could get from the unbearable, agonizing pain.

Finally, after what felt like hours, the pressure lifted from the small of my back, but the rush of cold air stung nearly as bad and I inhaled sharply as a new flood of tears spilled from my eyes. The wound pulsed with every beat of my unnaturally fast heart rate, and it made me sick to my stomach, like I might throw up. I was sweating and shivering all over, hiccuping with barely-controlled wheezing gasps for breath. Even the tips of my flight feathers were trembling.

I felt a touch near the wound and I would have jerked away if I’d had the energy, but I couldn’t. The thought of that metal touching me again was almost too much, but luckily the touch was much softer than white hot metal. It took several moments of flinching pain for me to realize that one of the men was smearing a salve on the brand wound. Probably something to keep the infection away, hopefully some kind of numbing agent. Either way, every time the cloth met my back, it was a painful jolt to my nervous system.

I closed my eyes and put my forehead against the cold marble, shuddering softly and shaking with sobs, but not wholly because of the pain. I was branded now. Like fucking chattel. A permanent mark, a reminder.

Someone grabbed a fist full of my hair, yanking my head up to face them. I pried my eyes open to see Sisko’s smug, unbothered face grinning back at me.

“Don’t worry. It looks lovely,” he told me. Then, his smile broadened as he said, “And now everyone knows you’re mine, bird.”

[random-mha-thoughts]

Chocolate (Bakugou x Reader)

Pairing: Bakugou x Reader

Genre: Fluff?? Crack?? Failed comedy??

Summary: Bakugou and you are having a little spat over something he did.  How will he try to fix it and what did he even do wrong?

Word count: 1,649

Tags:  @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog @bunnythepipsqueak

a/n: This is kind of crackheadery.  Cringe but fun crackheadery that was fun to write.  I’m not expecting a good reception to this, but it was something I just had to write and I wanted to try something different.

Reader is just a bit bratty and aggressive, but I attribute that to the quirk I assigned to them.  Lord Explosion boy + fiery s/o is very explosive I’d say, just see how two storms weather each other out.

"Hey (L/n), are you okay?" Mina slowly inches to the other side of her seat.

"Just fine, why do you ask?" I respond calmly, approaching my desk and sitting down.

She looks me up and down.  "Well, for one thing, everyone on our floor heard you kick Bakugou out of your room last night.  And for another thing," she points at my left hand, "You're doing that."

She's referring to me clenching and relaxing my hand gripper.  "Just need a little morning warm up," I shrug.  "And a stress ball isn't doing it for me this morning."  Usually I do this to warm up my Strength quirk in the morning.  By default, I can generate enough strength needed to pick something up, but when it comes to using my quirk to attack on my own, I need to warm up, which is why I always carry around grips or stress balls and I'm always exercising when I'm sitting.

The girl next to me shrinks back a little.  "Whatever you say."

Kirishima and Bakugou walk in.  At the sight of the blond haired boy, I quicken the tempo of my grips and clench my teeth together.  He takes his seat near the front of the room and Kiri rounds over to us.  "What's up guys?" he chirps, baring his shark-teeth in a grin before spotting my hand.  "I guess you guys really are having a fight."

I scoff.  "There's no fight, I don't know what you're talking about."

Kirishima and Mina exchange glances.  "Okay," he brushes it off, not wanting to press the issue.  "Are you excited for the exam results to come out?"

I lean back in my seat.  "Pretty sure I did well, I'm not too worried.  As long as I got an upper-middle score."

"I might've actually bombed," Mina whines, throwing her body on the desk with her arms spread out.  "Even after Yaomomo's help."

"You did fine, I'm sure of it!" Kirishima gives her an assuring thumbs up.  "And even if you didn't do that well, you just have to try harder next time!"

"Easy for you guys to say."

I shrug, "Just pray you're not dead last like Denki was the first term."

Both of them laugh at my quip.  I can feel Bakugou's glare boring into the back of my head, but I don't bother turning around.  I'm not in any mood to deal with him right now.

Aizawa finally slinks into the classroom wrapped in his yellow sleeping bag to start lessons for the day and I catch the other boy's eye by accident.  When I do, he smirks at me before turning around properly in his seat.

Did that bastard just-  I'm about to stand up and give him a piece of my mind when Kirishima restrains me, needing to partially use his quirk.  "Easy, easy, you can take care of him later," he whispers so Aizawa won't notice.

I growl low in my throat before relaxing and letting Kiri go back to his seat.

"You should really try controlling your anger, (Y/n), you're no better than him if you keep that up," she reprimands me, but I still see her shaking in fear.

I want to chuckle.  Sometimes, I question who our friends might be more scared of, me or him.

.

At lunch, we're all sitting at our table.  I made a point to sit in the middle surrounded by everyone else to keep all the spaces around me locked from Bakugou.

Before the spiky-haired boy sat down at our table, Denki (stupidly) asks, "So what are you and Bakugou even fighting about?  You looked like you were really gonna thrash him yesterday-"

Sero quickly tapes his mouth shut and continues eating like nothing happened.

"Guys it's fine, really.  I'm totally over it, it's not a big deal," I wave them off.

They all stare at each other then back at me blankly.    "(Y/n), I don't know how to say this, but it looks like you're about to snap that thing in half," Kirishima gathers the courage to respond.

He's referring to the resistance ring I'm squeezing to work out my chest muscles, taking a break every set to take a bite of food.  "Just practicing for the practical exam," I dismiss it nonchalantly.

They all look at each other worriedly.

I sigh, putting the band down to eat properly.  "If you're all that curious, he's betrayed my trust in the absolute worst way."

Mina leans forward in her seat.  "Did he cheat on you?!"

"Did he hit you?" Kirishima quips.

"Did he expose one of your biggest secrets?!" Denki cries melodramatically, and Sero smacks the poor boy.

"No, someone's just blowing something out of proportion," Bakugou perks up from the end of the table, casually eating his lunch with a smug look I want to wipe off with my fist.

My eye visibly twitches.  "Y'all hear something?"

Sero grabs his food and slowly starts retreating from the table.  "I think you guys should settle things.  I'm just gonna be over there while you do it."  With that he scurries away to the farthest table.  The rest of the group follows, leaving me alone with this devil.

Some friends I have, I want to growl.  The truth is they all probably love seeing the world burn, just at a safe distance.

I choose to ignore the idiot who's slowly slinking his way over to me.  As soon as he's directly across from me, he rests an arm on the table and perches his head on it, a smirk playing on his lips.

After a few moments of silence, I snap, "What makes you think you can be anywhere near me right now?"

"You haven't moved away yet, have you?" he responds a little too casually for the situation he's in.  It makes my skin crawl and my blood boil.

"No, because I'm waiting for you to say something stupid so I can bash your head in," I shoot back, my hand clenching around my chopsticks.

"Tell me more, babe, I love it when you talk to sweetly to me," he coos.

I can't take it anymore.  I stand up and bang my hands on the table, smashing it into pieces because of my unleashed quirk.  I don't care if everyone's watching, I bore my eyes into his, crimson staring back at me matching the rage in my veins.  "I trusted you with that information, and you went behind my back!"

"Come on, babe, you're overreacting-"

I grab his shirt collar.  "I. Trusted. You.  And you at that entire bag of Skittles!"

The boy knocks his head back and guffaws.  "It's not that big of a deal."

I throw him back into his chair and he falls on the floor.  "You know I was saving that huge bag for after exams!"

He rubs the back of his neck to ease some of the pain.  "You honestly have such weird stress-relieving rituals."

"You don't even like Skittles!" I continue on my rampage.  "You like Red Hots or that stupid Vero Mango crap!"

"Don't insult my candy preferences!" he roars back, tiny explosions forming in his hands as he jumps to his feet.

"I was gonna sit and relax with that industrial sized pack!  I even skipped dinner so I can eat it!"  I get up in his face.  "But no, I had to go to bed hungry because you had to be an ass!"

Bakugou rolls his eyes.  "Babe-"

"Don't 'babe' me!  I want an apology and a replacement bag!" I cross my arms over my chest and turn around.

I hear him sigh behind me and some rustling.  "Babe, turn around.  I have something for you."

Wanting to be stubborn, but still curious, I follow his orders before my eyes widen into saucers.  He's holding an industrial sized bag of assorted Hershey's chocolate bites, and I unknowingly gape.

"I know for certain that you would rather have these than some stupid Skittles," Bakugou smirks.

I clear my throat and snatch the bag out of his hand, cradling it like a baby in my arms.  Now I'm ashamed for making a huge scene over nothing, the heat pooling in my cheeks and ears.  "Y-You're forgiven.  Maybe," I mutter, scurrying out of the room to escape everyone's glares.

I hear Bakugou's bellowing laughter behind me, "You better share those before I come steal them myself!"

"Not happening!" I yell behind my shoulder.  I have to admit, it was very sweet of him to get me something he knows I love more than Skittles.  I excitedly open the bag and start unwrapping one from its package.

His footsteps echo in the hall behind me as he catches up and grabs my shoulder to turn me around.  Without breaking eye contact with me, he takes the unwrapped piece from my hands.  "I think I deserve the first bite for being such a good boyfriend.  Putting up with your antics and letting you push me around," he teases with another crooked smile.

I frown at him, but I know I owe him that much.  "Fine, I'm sorr-"

His arm pulls me by the waist, the chocolate piece sticking out of his mouth and his eyebrows raised.  "I'll be nice and share it with you."

A blush spreads across my cheeks and I slowly inch to bite it from his mouth, trying to avoid looking into his smug eyes.  When I bite it off, he holds the back of my head and presses a sweet kiss to my lips before letting me go.  "That should be the sweetest bite you'll ever take," he whispers.

"S-Shut up," I mutter, squirming out of his grasp.  "And you can have more, if you want."

He chuckles and presses another kiss to my forehead.  "As long as you feed them to me the same way I did for you."

[tickly-trashcan]

Plane Ride {DaiHaru}

A/N: Wow, i was suddenly inspired to write for this lovely show! july 16 cannot come sooner for me, so I had to indulge myself just a bit with this in the mean time, hope you all enjoy~

Word Count: 1.6k (more under the cut)

How did he even get himself into this? That was all Haru Katou could think of as he sat in the seat of the private jet belonging to one of his newest headaches: Daisuke Kanbe.

Just a bit earlier, he had agreed to go to Hong Kong to attend a symposium discussing international crime, but what he didn’t know was that he would be accompanied by an annoying, rich bastard along the way!

Daisuke sat next to him across the aisle, cigar in one hand and a magazine in the other, taking in long, deep breaths of smoke before exhaling them in a cloud that eventually wafted over towards Haru. He groaned in annoyance and leaned his chin on his hand as he stared out the window of the plane, the city growing smaller as they climbed higher in altitude and nearer to the big, fluffy clouds that decorated the horizon.

One of the flight attendees walked over to Daisuke with a silver tray holding a glass of champagne, two glasses, and an ashtray. He motioned for her to set it on his seat table, and she placed everything on the table before popping the champagne and pouring it into the glasses. He tapped his cigar ashes off into the tray and picked up the champagne glass. He looked over towards Haru and held the glass out towards him.

“Thirsty?”

Haru scoffed. “I’m good, I don’t need any of your 30,000 yen champagne, thank you very much.”

“It’s actually 80,000 yen champagne, Armand de Brignac Blanc de Noirs, although I can see how someone such as yourself wouldn’t know the difference between this and a bottle of Andre Brut,” Daisuke said with a smirk.

Why that little…! Haru’s eye twitched in anger as Daisuke took a sip of his champagne, setting it back on the tray and picking up his cigar again. He took a long puff and, without taking his eyes off the magazine, turned his head towards Haru and exhaled, purposefully dousing him with the smoke.

Haru coughed and waved the smoke out of his face roughly. “And what was that for?!”

“You don’t smile that often, do you?” Daisuke asked though it was said more like a statement.

Haru grumbled, annoyed that his question had been ignored and faced the window. “I’m pretty sure you took away my ability to smile…”

“Would you like me to help you get it back?”

Haru whipped his head around, a confused look on his face as he saw Daisuke had set down his magazine and was looking at him quite seriously.

Haru huffed out a short, sarcastic laugh and folded his arms across his chest. “What are you gonna do, pay me a million yen to give you a grin?” There was a pause for a moment before Daisuke replied, “Do you want me to?”

Haru massaged his temple with his thumb and sighed. This grown man didn’t understand that everything can’t just be bought, and it frustrated Haru immensely.

“Katou-san.” Haru turned to face Daisuke again after hearing his voice only to see him looming over him, his hand on the head of Haru’s seat. He jumped a bit at their sudden close proximity and leaned further back as Daisuke leaned down further, a devious smile on his lips. 

“Wh-What are you doing?” Haru stammered, flustered.

Daisuke waved to one of the flight attendants that was in the cabin, who nodded and shut the sliding door, leaving the two detectives alone in the spacious cabin. 

“I’m going to make you smile, that’s what I’m doing,” Daisuke said flatly, reaching one hand slowly towards Haru, who pushed it away. 

“Don’t touch me, you weirdo!” he shouted, trying to scoot away from Daisuke, but was trapped by the seat in front of him.

Haru reached over the seat in front and tried to pull himself over, but not before Daisuke grabbed him by the hips and pulled him back down on the seat, making Haru yelp.

Daisuke straddled Haru, who now lay across the whole row of seats, squirming and pushing at Daisuke’s chest helplessly.

“Let me go, dumbass! Who do you think you- Ah!” he squeaked when he felt a pinch at his side, and a horrible realization set in as he looked back up at Daisuke, who’s face still had that stupid smug smirk on it.

“No. No no no. Don’t you dare. Don’t you fucking dahahare!” Haru yelped when Daisuke’s fingers began to squeeze his sides, making him clamp his arms down.

Daisuke explored Haru’s torso, switching to lightly scribbling across his tummy. Haru giggled loudly, trying to curl his body away from the ticklish sensations.

“Shihihihihihiiiiiit stop! This is unproffessionahahaHAL!” Haru let out a loud squeal when Daisuke grabbed his hips. He began to rub his thumbs gently into the bone and Haru started laughing in earnest now, his cheeks heating up slightly as one of his worst spots was attacked. His attempts to push Daisuke off of him lessened and he instead grabbed his wrists to try and pull them away from his body.

“Tsk, tsk, Katou-san, see how easy that was to make you smile?” Daisuke teased, shooting his hands quickly up under Haru’s arms, which was met with a loud, girlish scream and peals of intense laughter.

“GAH- I’m smiling! SeeHEEHEEHEE!? StohohoHOP!!” Haru coughed, pushing desperately at Daisuke with one hand, the other trying to pull away desperately.

“Your hands are annoying, stop.” “You stohohohop!”

Daisuke lifted one hand towards his shirt collar and grabbed the knot of his tie, pulling it off quickly. He grabbed Haru’s hand that was pushing him away and tied his wrist with the tie and looped it around the seat’s armrest. As he leaned forward to tie it around the seats armrest, his chest came very close to Haru’s face, making him flush. He smelled strongly of cigars as his chest pressed lightly against him, grabbing Haru’s other wrist and tying it up as a blush quickly crept up Haru’s ears.

“You rich piece of shit stop! Don’t you fucking dare, stop it!” He yelled, snapping out of his short daze, pulling his arms as much as he could, but Daisuke had the upper hand and soon Haru was completely at Daisuke’s mercy.

Haru kicked his legs around aimlessly as Daisuke slowly lowered his hands towards Haru’s ribcage as he giggled in anticipation. “I-I can repohort you to HR you know!” Haru exclaimed desperately, but Daisuke’s smug smirk stayed in place as he gently shook his head. “I don’t think that will work, Inspector Katou.”

Haru was about to yell out another threat, but Daisuke’s hands finally descended and began their torture on the upper part of Haru’s ribs. He let out a shriek and arched his back, bucking his body around as he desperately tried to get the rich bastard off of him. He laughed loudly and earnestly, trying to hide his face in his tied arms. 

Daisuke noticed this and flittered his fingers across Haru’s neck, making him yelp and quickly uncover his face. Haru closed his eyes and cackled as Daisuke moved down to his sides and squeezed there in an agonizingly ticklish way. 

“Jesus Christ stahahahahap! I’m- I’m gohohohohonna dieeee!” Haru begged, squirming wildly. 

Daisuke rolled his eyes. “You’re not going to die, Katou-san, I have HEUSC on your vitals and you’re fine.”

“St-Stahahap letting your stuhuhuhupid butler scahaHAHAHAN MEEEE!” Haru let out a loud yell when Daisuke drilled his fingers into his bony hips, teasing the sensitive flesh.

“Why not? I thought you were going to die, Katou-san?”

Daisuke grabbed Haru’s upper thigh and squeezed, making him squeal and let out a stream of bubbly giggles. His other hand fluttered towards Haru’s shirt, slowly, slowly untucking it. Haru’s eyes buldged open and he shook his head. 

“I’m gohohohoing to destroy yohohohouu!” he yelled, squirming away from Daisuke’s curious hands.

“I feel very threatened by that statement, especially since you’re blushing and laughing like a child.” 

And with that, Daisuke stuffed both hands under Haru’s shirt and began to scribble over his tummy, pinching at his sides as well.

If Haru wasn’t laughing before, he sure as hell was now. Daisuke’s fingers were slightly cold and dammit he probably got manicures once a week so his nails scratching against his skin was almost painful it tickled so much.

“You’re kihihiHIHILLING meheheheheeee! Aaaah~!” Haru let out a noise he himself had never heard when Daisuke tickled right along his inner hip near the rim of his slacks, and clearly Daisuke never had either, since he briefly ceased his torture. 

Haru opened his eyes now that the tickling had stopped and looked up to see… what?

Daisuke’s smirk had disappeared and his attempt at a poker face was clearly unsuccessful, as a blush began to show barely on his cheeks. He noticed Haru looking at him, and quickly resumed his torture unexpectedly, making Haru yell.

“Mehehehehercy plehehehehease! I-I cahahahan’t breathe!” Haru barely gasped out, his previous struggling slowing down as his stamina did as well.

Daisuke seemed to realize that, indeed, Haru was having respiratory problems, and ceased his attack, his hands staying in place as his palms warmed Haru’s sides. Haru breathed in the air deeply, some giggles still leaving his mouth as he wiped away some tears of mirth that had slipped out with his arm.

“Your smile… it’s nice, Katou-san.”

Haru paused where he was, his breath hitching as Daisuke withdrew his hands and he shivered as the warmth from him left. What Daisuke said soon registered and he blushed furiously, stammering.

“You don’t get to tell me that, asshole! You almost tickled me to death!” Haru went to push Daisuke off of him, forgetting for a moment that he was tied up. He huffed.

“Will you untie me now?”

Daisuke smirked and got off of Haru, walking back to his own seat, relighting his cigar and picking up his magazine.

“No.”

[shaydeoffical]

I Could Get Behind That: Saeko Tanaka x Fem Reader

Soulmate Au

: In a world where the name of your worst Enemy and Romantic soulmates appear on your wrist. You can't tell which is which for sure until all people cross paths. Then you can touch the soul mark on who you think is your romantic partner, and it will change to initials. 

Summary: (Y/n) has been hiding a secret from her best friend and childhood enemy, Sakeo Tanaka. While thinking about the past, she gathers up the courage to tell her the truth.

Author's Note: I will be starting some Haikyuu Oneshots and working on how I want to write each character. I will be posting My Hero stuff as well. I am just almost done with Bright as a Diamond and want to get my next series going. Thanks for reading!

Warnings: Thunderstorms, keepings a secret, Enemies to Friends to Lovers.

I Could Get Behind That

        "It's about to thunderstorm." I tapped the passenger side window chewing on my bottom lip. Saeko was buckling in, and fixing her gear before pulling onto the road.

"Huh, it's just a little rain, no need to worry. Besides, the reports said yesterday was the worst of it." Saeko shook my shoulder to loosen my body up.

   "You're not the one afraid of storms, Saeko." A smile tugged my lips up. There was more on my mind than the impending rain. This moment wasn't the right time to discuss it, though.

   "Well you don't have to worry when I'm around, I'll always protect you. In less, you still think I'm your mortal enemy." She feigned a serious tone, holding up her soul mark.  My name was scrolled in my handwriting, the bare spot on her other hand showed she had yet to meet her other' soulmate.'

   When we first met as kids, both of us were at each other's throats. We'd fight over who got to play with the blocks, who got better grades, and who got to sit on the outside seat of the bus on field trips. Everyone said we were enemies, and that it was better to meet them as a kid because if childish betrayals were the worst thing to happen, the rest of your life would be cake.

   Like so many child enemies, we grew close. We started to argue over who would walk the other home, who'd host the sleepover, who'd get to pay for snacks. Now that we were adults, it was easier to communicate our needs and divide up our favorite tasks. Saeko always picked me up from work, we'd go to her Taiko group then she'd drive me home. In hindsight, it seems I just gave in and let Saeko treat me most of the time…  

   While having her drive me around wasn't great for my life expectancy, she did make sure to at least try following the traffic rules when I was in the car. The first time she almost veered off the side of the road, I wouldn't get in a car with her behind the wheel for two months.  

        "Break check." Saeko shoved her hand out, stopping me from bouncing forward. The car slid to a halt. Gripping the handlebar and Saeko's thigh for deer life, we stopped short of the mass in the road.

   "Oh, it's a little duck." I swallowed my anger and let it fade into relief, seeing why she had to stop so fast. "Aww, it's little waddle is the cutest. Why'd you yell brake check?"

   "Aww, the duck is cute. But you're the cutest." Saeko nudged my shoulder, slowly driving by the duck so I could look a little longer. Of course, she was avoiding my question. Part of me knew it was a reflex for when she drove alone and would test the skills of driver's riding her ass.

   "No, you." I shot back, forgetting about the pit in my stomach. "I say she was just heading towards the trees to shelter for the storm."

        "Animals are smart like that." Saeko fiddled with the radio, not taking her eyes off the radio.

        "Too bad she didn't have a friend to shelter with." A pang of guilt washed over me, the weight of the bracelet on my hand heavier.  

   "Hey, your house is just ahead. Tell me if I'm wrong, but you want me to come in for a few drinks and a thunderstorm sleepover." Pulling into my driveway, I grabbed my purse nodding at her. "Come on and say it."

   "Don't make me beg, Saeko", I warned her, but I still hoovered with the door open so she couldn't drive off. The past two days she's stayed over due to the weather. And each time, I avoided telling her the truth, despite my promising myself I would.

   "I'll do it regardless, you just look so adorable when you beg. I could never leave my little duckling all on her own." The engine shut off, and she jumped out, tossing her coat into the back seat. "Since when have I left you in your time of need?" She slung her arm around my shoulders.

   "How about when I ripped my pants at the bar on main, so you went to get me a new pair, but you forgot which bar I was at." Entering my rental home, we kicked off our shoes and went straight to the bedroom. We'd formed a routine for nights like these.      

   "How many times can I apologies for that. You were the one that wouldn't stop taking shots." Saeko changed into a tank top and some cotton shorts. I pulled on my pajamas and started to work on fixing my hair. Dancing around each other, we gathered our things and tag-teamed with gathering the laundry.  

   "You were the one that challenged me to a competition. Which I only lost because your brother kept making those silly faces." It was nearly dark outside, her club meeting lasted longer today than normal, as they had a festival coming up soon. We wouldn't have long before it was time for bed.

   "So, being a lightweight had nothing to do with it?" Saeko tapped my forehead before pushing the tag of my shirt back inside my collar. "Hm," she grabbed my wrist, going to move the bangle over my soul mark. "Since when did you start covering your mark?"

   "Stop changing the subject, you know I would have won." I got back on topic, breaking free from her hold. The warmth of her hands still lingering. "Let's just make some dinner, and get ready for bed before the storm starts."

   The pit had returned to my tummy after dinner was over. We both showered and were sitting on my bed, watching a show about building motorcycles. It wasn't my favorite kind of program, but we had spent the night before watching anime, so I could be more flexible today. Besides, listening to her complain about the mechanic's technique was so cute. Her being this close was something I wanted more of in my life.

        We had retreated to the bedroom when the show was over. We brushed our teeth and got a glass of water for the night. Saeko had the extra step of showering before bed. She always worked up a sweat at her meetings.

        Waiting in bed for her to be done, I stretched out on top of the sheets, knowing if I got in a position to sleep, I'd pass out and hog the entire bed. Plus, it was more comfortable to sleep when she was beside me. Saeko wasn't particularly tall or strong from her appearance, but she packed a punch. When we were in high school, she made sure no one got away with so much as looking at me cross.  She was my rock.

   There was a crack in the sky. My heart jumping to my throat, I sat up looking towards the bathroom door.   Saeko skidded out of the bathroom than grabbed the duvet from the foot of the bed.  Wrapping it around herself, then jumping beside me. Cuddling up, she cocooned us in the blanket, tucking it under my back. "There we go, it's okay." She promised me, smushing my face into her chest. The hot air under the cover was more suffocating that my heavenly position. She was always so soft...

   "Thanks." I trembled against her coming to my sense; the shivers were slowly easing up. When the next round of thunder came, I was already in my safe spot and didn't have a heart attack.

   "Anything for you." She hummed, tracing shapes on my back. Her breath was lingering on my neck. "Let's think about other things, okay? This storm is supposed to pass by super fast."

   "Sounds good to me." I nodded, closing my eyes.

   "Do you remember the first time we did this?" Saeko rocked us gently, back and forth. The creek of the bedsprings overtaking the distant thunder.

   "It was on our school trip to Tokyo. We were still at the arguing stage, and we got so caught up in our fight over who could sprit the longest." A water droplet from her hair plopped onto my face.

   "Than the skies opened, and I looked behind me to see you were on the ground. I'd never seen you look so venerable." Her hand clenched my shoulder, kissing my shoulder.

   "I never thought I'd see the day, but you took me in your arms and got us under the trees for coverage. I thought for sure you'd carry me like a sack of potatoes, but you were strong even back that." I hummed, remembering how I felt. "I was so mad at myself for being in that position to start with. But I think that's the first time I saw you as more than my fated enemy."

   "Can I be honest?" Saeko scooted back to better see my face.

   "Always." I swallowed the lump in my throat.

   "I liked you the moment we meet. Of course, I've always been a little rebellious and headstrong, but I never really thought about you like that. Like an enemy." The rain and thunder stopped. "Being aggressive was just how I showed my love towards Ryu, so I just thought that' how it was supposed to be. When I saw you break down, that was when I realized I had been approaching you the wrong way."

   "That didn't change our arguments", I noted, scooting closer to her. "But you added in more soft moments, like this."

   "(Y/N)?" Saeko swallowed hard. "What happened at work Thursday, and why are you still shaking. The storms over baby doll."

   Blood running cold, I chewed on my bottom lip. "Please, don't be mad at me." Tears sprung from my eyes, I clenched fists full of her shirt.

   "Never." She kissed my forehead.

   "Remember the new boy I told you about the one that I trained last summer?" I asked, spitting up broken words. It was embarrassing, the whole situation was a slap in the face.

   "I'll take care of him, just tell me what happened." She rubbed my back, trying to soothe me.

   "He threw me under the bus, I was let go." Chewing my bottom lip, I squeezed my eyes tight.  

   "That bastard! I can't believe this, after all the work you did to teach him from the ground up. He doesn't even have a degree." I could hear her heart rate quickening, her holding me to her chest again.

   "While you dropped me off at the office this week, I've been job hunting across town."  pushing away again, I wiped my eyes.

   "I could have helped you looked. The shop's been busy, but I still have time for you." She pushed off the cocoon of a blanket and sat up. "I'm so sorry, why couldn't you tell me sooner? Why have you been so secretive? I've been waiting for you to tell me, but (Y/N), Im worried."

   "Remember when you said that you and I were romantic soulmates in high school? And I denied it because same-sex partners are so rare." I looked at my fingernails, trying to say it the right way.  

   "I remember." She swallowed, scooting back. Pushing aside the blanket, I took both of her hands in mine.

   "Saeko, his name appeared on my wrist", I whispered, paling. "You were right. I'm sorry for wasting so much time. The more I've thought about it, the more I realized…how, much I love you. How you were my romantic partner the entire time." I hung my head low, looking at the floor.

   "I have a confession too." She licked the tip of her thumb, rubbing the spot beside my name on her wrist. Holding her hand in the light, showing me her soul mark, I could see a boy's name.

   "That's the boy who-" My mouth fell open.

   "got you/me expelled in high school." We said together.

   "You've known since then?" I tried to wrap my head around it.

   "I didn't want to force you into picking me. After you brought up the same-sex thing, I was afraid that you were right. But now that you know who yours is, let's do it. We can know for sure.." Saeko tugged me forward, holding out her wrist. "This is also why I waited."

   "I love you so much." I kissed her palm, knowing everything would be okay. We touched our marks together, matching our breaths. I could feel the slight twinge as the symbols shifted around. Feeling brave, I leaned forward and was eagerly met with her lips.

   "I love you more." Saeko pulled our hands apart. "My last name it is." She smirked, seeing that my wrist had changed to her initials and her mine—both of our initials ending with 'T' now.

   "I can get behind being a Tanaka." I nodded, realizing that I had been given the gift of growing up alongside my soulmate. "I'm so lucky."

   "How about you try getting underneath a Tanaka first? I'll show you how lucky you are." She laughed, peppering my neck with kisses.

   "Don't be a perv." I pawed at her arms, the storm long gone from my mind.

   "Okay, okay, but just for tonight. I've been waiting for a million years. And I'd wait for a million more to see you smile like this." She tapped her finger against my nose and turned out the light. "Alright, let's get some rest. Tomorrow we can talk about possibly moving and finding you a job. Once you have steady work, I'll take a day off and make sure your soul enemy is taught a lesson."    

   "Saeko", I warned her, leaning on my elbows before she tugged me down to be the little spoon.

   "Fine, but I want to at least screw with his car when no ones watching." She sulked, rolling my hair around her fingers.

   "That's a decent compromise. Now let's get some sleep." I pushed myself deep into her hold and closed my eyes. The weight of my secret was gone, and now I was able to reap the rewards of my friendship turned into love.

[jojolu]

Six Months in Boston

Pairing: Chris Evans/OC Erin Rose

Summary: Up and coming YA author Erin Rose, was sent to a small suburb 30 minutes Northwest of Boston to finish the last two books of her series, she is about to get very close to her very handsome new neighbor.

a/n: here goes nothing!

chapter 1: Enjoy Nature

"Oh my God! Just poop already Letty!" You shout at your Chihuahua Dachshund mix breed dog. She finally does and you pick it up and tie the bag.

You are walking on a new path the realtor showed you on a map. Your phone rings and it's your   sister Tilly FaceTime'ing you.

"Hey girl......where the fuck are you? Are you exercising?"

"Ugh gross! Never. Just exploring, Mike the realtor was saying there are 30 beautiful walking paths all around! Enjoy nature....that fucking tool."

"Where exactly are you? In case I need to come and find your body in the woods."

"In a small suburb, its technically the country! I'm thirty minutes northwest of Boston. My editor sent me to Boston. MASSACHUSETTS!! LIKE WHO AUTHORIZED THIS. For a year Till! I'm a hard core West coast kid! Born and raised near the ghetto."

"Pasadena, is nowhere near the ghetto. Its your fault, your way to good of a writer. Your first book shouldn't have been so good. Like bitch, you already have studios fighting for the movie rights."

You wrote, The Wish Masters, your senior year in Grad school on a whim. Your professor wanted you all to write 1 chapter of a book and you wrote 15, when you turned it, she called you into her office the following Monday. 6 years later on your 35th birthday it was released.

It bit of Harry Potter mixed in with Tinkerbell. All the Fairy families are separated by the type of groups and your story starts when the age of fairies start to die off. Deenah and her friends Mave and Trax are off on a journey to fix and restore the age of Fairies. 

"Yeah, yeah. Oh no there a dog loose." You see a brown and white dog with a red collar and leash dragging behind him.

"Let me see!" Tilly says.

You flip the camera and stick your phone in your sportsbra.

 You call him over and read his tag.

"Hey Dodger, gosh are a pretty dog. Letty, this is Dodger, Dodger, this wild animal is Letty girl."

You pick up his leash and continue walking the way Dodger came from.

"You fucking weirdo. That dog looks familiar. What's his name?"

"Familiar? Are you an Instagram dog, D man?" You say leaning closer to Dodger.

"Holy fucking shit! That's Chris Evans dog. I bet my fucking life on it."

"Seriously? Please God, don't let this be his dog. I'm not ready!"

You hear a man's voice calling out Dodger's name.

"Oh no......"

The person you see, isn't Chris Evans but his younger brother, Scott.

"That's Scott his brother!" Tilly says.

"I know.....Shhhh."

"Dodger! Hey man, you scared us." Scott says walking up to you.

"He just walked up to us." You say handing him the leash.

"Thank you! Chris would have KILLED me! I got him." He says as he yells back to the sound of a person walking up behind you.

You look past him and see Chris Evans. 

Your mind goes blank.

"Hi I'm Tilly!" You sister says from your boobs.

"Hi, mystery voice coming from this nice lady's boobs. " Scott says.

"OH my God! It's my sister." You take your phone out of your sportsbra and turn it so he can see her.

She waves like a crazy person.

"Hi, Tilly. I'm Scott."

"Hi! This is my sister Erin Rose."

"I totally forgot to introduce myself."

"She's a writer she wrote The Wish Masters, Jimmy Fallon just had her on last week. She just sent the second and half of the third one to her editor, She there to write two more books, she'll be there a year and she lives at 347 Mills Rd and that's her dog Letty, we found her on a trip to Joshua Tree, four years ago."

"Stop talking or I'm going to hang up and block you." You say to the phone.

"Sorry....."

"Well, this is my brother Chris Evans, he is an actor, you know him from Not Another Teen Movie and Cellular. He's has lived here for about three years and he lives at 345 Mills Rd and that's his dog Dodger, who he got a shelter about three years ago."

You look at Chris who is shaking his head.

You mouth, "I'm so sorry."

He mouth,"No, I'm sorry."

You both smile at each other. You look away to where Dodger and Letty are laying down, Letty is laying on Dodger's legs licking him.

"Well, it looks like you two are neighbors." Scott says to you both.

"Right! That's awesome, she's very single." Tilly says as she hangs up.

"Oooh she's not getting invited to any of the movie premieres. I'm going go home. Come on Letty." You say pulling her leash. 

She doesn't budge.

"To bad you only weigh eleven pounds." You say picking her up.

You turn to your left and then to your right.

Fuck!  

Erin why are you so dumb! 

You have no clue which direction your house is.

"Left." Chris says.

"Thank you." You say turning back left and walking away holding a dog that doesn't want to leave.

"She left her water bottle." Scott says.

"I'll take it to her later." Chris says picking it up.

"She's gorgeous......did you see her ass......damn." Scott says.

Chris just looks at him as he starts to walk away, Dodger turns and tries to follow the direction you left in.

"I did, and that's all I'm going to say."

"You going to save that image for your spank bank?"

"Spank bank? Seriously?"

"Sorry, I watched 10 Things I Hate About You last night. Great film. I know how long it's been, so don't act like you haven't already ready pictured her under you or on her knees."

"For fucks sake, Scott!? I just met her, technically we haven't really even met." Chris says walking away.

Scott laughs as he walks behind Chris.

"Fuck you, Scott! Now that's all I'm thinking about!" He yells as he starts to run.

You make it back in 10 minutes.

You were talking out loud the whole time.

"Really! Is this really fucking happening! Chris fucking Evans! Is this because I read that Chris Evans fanfic? Listen! I'm sorry! Well I'm not really! That's story was cute and he sounds great in bed. Speaking of bed! Am I supposed to act like I didn't see his dick?  What a beautiful penis.....oh my God. We share a driveway....his house is what like sixty fucking feet from my house.......great now all I can think of his is dick! Did I save that on my phone?"

You were walking so fast and distracted you just realized you left your water bottle. You set it down when you picked up Dodger's leash.

"Dammit, I love that water bottle, let's go inside." You say to the dog that is sniffing all around Chris's side of the driveway.

You walk inside and Letty goes and gets in her kennel and gets under her blanket.

You take off your shoes and head to take a shower. Tilly calls right after you walk out of the shower.

"Can I help you?"

"Hi, I just spent the last 20 minutes Google'ing him. He's very much single. He loves to take Dodger out on walks, he's covered in tattoos, he enjoys working with his hands, he loves his family, is an ass man and he has a huge penis."

"I don't care. I'm not going to do anything with information. I'm here for one reason, to write these books. This is not a story someone is writing. I'm not going to fall in love with him, he isn't going to take me on long walks where we can't keep our hands off each other, our dogs aren't going to be best friends and constantly have to see each other, you and Scott aren't going to be best friend and have matching toasts at our beautiful Farmhouse wedding." You suddenly get choked up.

"Ohhhh Erin...I'm sorry. I just got excited." She says suddenly with emotion in her voice.

"Serves you right! Who said those acting classes wouldn't help me write better." 

"You bitch! Just so you know he has a wide tongue, too." She hangs up.

Ugh, you just used the massage setting on your handheld shower head. Living next to him was going to kill you.

You get dressed, in a tank top dress that has a built-in bra and head out your pool. You hear laughing coming from your neighbor's house and fight the urge to look over.

"Erin!" You hear Chris yell.

"Please, have a shirt on...." You say before turning around.

"Hey, Chris."

Fuck him. 

No, seriously.

Fuck this sexy ass bastard.

He of course, is in just black swim trunks walking closer to his the fence. There are all the tattoos Tilly said he had, she didn't mention the chest hair.....you just want you rub your hands all over his body.

This is the closet your houses are to each other.

"Did you get that?" Chris asks looking at you.

"Shit, sorry thinking about my...book." You stumbled out.

"I have your water bottle and I was thinking that I could say thank you for grabbing Dodger, by ordering us some lunch?"

"It was no hassle, he just walked right up to me. Sure, yes that would be great."

"You want to come over now? You can come swim with me....if you want. Can you....." He stops himself.

"Were you about to ask me, a black woman, if I can swim?" You say giving him tons of attitude.

He goes beet red.

"Uh no...I was just...you have your hair straight....so I....."

You start to laugh at him.

"I thought Mackie would have told you what not to ask a black woman, it's a weave, I'm taking out next week and getting braids. Yes, I can swim, I was actually a lifeguard all throughout high-school and college. I'll change and grab Letty."

You see the relief in his face.

Did you just fluster Chris Evans.....

You are thankful for your sister, she made you buy all new swimsuits with your cash advance money. You put on your Victoria's Secret ruffle bottom bikini, you got it in three colors, white, pink and green. 

You put on the white one. Put your black sheer cover up.

You put your hair up in a messy bun and grabbed Letty.

"Listen, woman! You better act right! Do not pee on his floor!" You say to the dog who is very confused why she is getting a lecture. 

You put her down and grab the gift basket you just got from Sam Adam's and the freezer box it came in. He isn't in the back yard any more so you walk to his front door and ring the door bell.

"Brace yourself Erin...." You mumble out.

You can hear Dodger barking and Chris telling him to calm down.

He opens the door and smiles at you.

"Welcome, here let me take that. Come in."

Thankfully he put a shirt on.

You follow him to his kitchen while looking in all of his rooms.

"Our houses are the exact same. Even down to the floors. Literally the exact same. You need to see it."

"I'd like that."

You both pause for a second.

Letty and Dodger playing is what broke the tension.

"Its Letty, right? From The Fast and The Furious." 

"It is. Strangely, not many people get that."

"And Dodger, from Oliver and Company?"

"Yes, exactly. Most people think the baseball team."

"Why you have the Sox over here."

"Exactly. You want to head outside?"

"Lead the way." 

He grabs the gift basket and walks towards his backyard.

"Did you buy this?"

"Nope, I mentioned them in an interview and I got this, just yesterday."

"Not going lie that probably my favorite thing about this whole crazy life."

"Same, dude! I swear, someone asked what pen I used and I said Paper-Mate and I had a special delivery the next day. I'm really looking forward to when these studios choose my book."

"Which studios?" He asks opening your gift basket.

"You're just gonna open MY gift basket?"

"I thought this was for me?" He says laughing.

"Why would I give you MY gift basket? I don't know you like that!" You say laughing too.

"Go ahead you already opened it. Paramount, Warner Brothers, Universal and Disney! I'm really excited about that one. They are thinking of my books as movies will start a new segment of Disney aimed at teenagers!" You practically shout.

"That's amazing and my heart is with Disney."

"Holy shit, I haven't told anyone that and wasn't supposed to........I figure you can keep a secret, Cap."

"You going to make me sign an NDA?" He says waaaaay to flirty. 

He opens one of the beers and takes a long drink.

 He licks his bottom lip.

"I could get one drafted up, if I need to. Can I have I one of MY beers, please?"

"Fine, but I get this hat." He says pulling a blue Sam Adam's hat out.

He hands you a beer and your hands touch. He doesn't let go, he grabs his bottle opener and opens for you.

"Thanks. Stop taking my stuff Christopher!"

"You don't want this hat or.....this beer coozie or.........these beer pretzels." He says taking all the things he mentioned.

"Give me those fucking pretzels."You say reaching for them.

"Come on, you don't want these." He opens the bag and takes a handful.

"Ohh you are not nice." You say standing up you take off your swim cover and walk up to him. Your breast are touching his chest and every time you inhale he looks down at your chest.

"Can I help you?" He says looking down at you.

"Chris, can I please, pretty please have those pretzels, I need something hard..and..salty in my mouth."You say with your hands on his chest.

He hands them to you without another word.

"Thanks, dude." You say grabbing them and sitting back down on his pool chaise.

"That was so mean! I'm still keeping this hat and coozie." He says looking over at you.

"Sure, but I'm keeping the corn hole set."

"You sure? I can take it off your hands."

You hear Letty barking at the backdoor.

Chris goes and let's them both put, they are chasing each other in circles, they finally sit he keeps messing with her and she keeps biting him then running away.

"Looks, like they found their best friend." Chris says.

"Yep. She's such an alpha. I'm surprised she letting him be so aggressive with her."

"Well, he definitely likes the challenge of a strong woman."

"She definitely likes the attention."

"He really likes to give it."

You weren't sure at what point you both stopped talking about the dogs but you needed to get in the pool to cool off.

"So we doing this or nah?"

"Huh?" The confusion on his face was priceless.

"Swimming? Or did you just asked me to get in a bikini for nothing."

He pulls off his shirt, finished his beer and walks to the pool, turns to face you, winks and does a perfect back flip.

"Oh you fancy." You get up and walk up to about 3 feet to his pool turn towards him do a cart wheel, that goes into a round off, which has you end right at the edge of his pool, then you do a backflip into the water.

"I give that a fucking ten." He says swimming up to you.

"Thank you. I'll give yours a 9.5 you lost a half point for trying to flirt with the judge."

"I should be given a whole extra point for that."

You splash him and swim away.

"Oooh now you started it." He dives down and pulls you under the water.

You poke him in the ribs and he let's go.

"Ouch!"

You swim up close to him.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to...."

He pulls you under again.

You pull him down too and start to have a contest to see who can stay under water longer. It's been 30 seconds and he is struggling. He groans and swims up.

He watches you as you flip into a handstand underwater and walk away from him, you come up 20 seconds later.

"Damn...."

"Sorry, lifeguard!"

"I normally have much better breath control." He says swimming closer to you.

"Oh really? You practice that?" You say smirking.

"Haven't needed to, come here." 

You get closer and he reaches right under your eye takes the eyelash that had fallen.

"Make a wish." He says holding it up to your mouth.

You close your eyes and blow.

You open your eyes slowly and he is staring at you.

You throw caution to the wind and put your arms around his neck and he immediately put his arms around your waist and pulls you towards him. He walks to the shallow end of his pool and puts you against the side of it.

"I'm fighting every urge to kiss you." He says.

"Same. You have no idea how much I want to."

"Then why aren't we kissing?" He says nuzzling and nipping your jaw.

"Because we both know it not going to just be kissing."

"Kiss me and find out." He says kissing your cheek and right under your ear.

"Why don't you kiss me?" You say running your nails down his back.

"I am kissing you." He moves down to your neck.

You turn your head so he'll kiss that spot under your jaw. He does and you practically moan out his name.

"Fuck, you sound so good moaning out my name."

"Kiss me." You moan out as he kisses that spot again. 

"Where?" He runs his tongue against that spot and gently bites you.

You finally turn your head and kiss him. He somehow pulled you even closer.

You put your hands in his hair as he slides his tongue inside your mouth. You pull away a bit and just look at him.

"What? We can stop."

"Nothing, I'm just taking you in. You're really good looking. I did not think this was going to happen." You say giggling.

"You're sweet. You're so gorgeous. You didn't? That bikini doesn’t agree." He says putting his hand on your ass.

You just laugh.

"Apparently, the internet is true, 'Chris Evans, an ass man'."

"With an ass like this, most definitely." He says putting his other hand on your ass.

"You are a whole mess. But to answer your question, I had maybe hoped that I could make out with my super hot neighbor, maybe just once."

"I knew it. Well that same internet calls you 'The writer who is taking YA by storm' I also saw your photoshoot in Vanity Fair, that's why I hoped you were going to wear a bikini, but this....."He runs his thumb along the edge of your bikini bottoms. "This is better than I could imagined."

He kisses you again and you wrap your legs around his waist and you can finally feel his amazing dick against your pussy.

"Damn, I can feel how warm your pussy is, I can't wait to taste you." He says in your ear.

"You look like this and can talk dirty."

"That's nothing......."

You bring his mouth back to yours and bite his bottom lip.

He reaches up and unties your bikini top, then kisses his way down to your nipple and slowly sucks it into his mouth, between his hot mouth and the chill of the water your close to an orgasm.

"Oh my goodness. You are the absolute worst."

He moves to your left breast, while his hand slowly making its way to your pussy.

The backdoor opens....

"Chris, I called you like 8 fucking times...............well hello Erin." Scott says.

"Oh my God, Scott!" You yell.

Chris just holds you close to give you some sort of cover.

"I obviously don't have my phone on me."

"I can see your hands are very full." He says looking straight into the water.

Chris tries to re-tie your top.

"Walk her to me." Scott says squatting down.

He ties the your top for you and get off of Chris.

"Well, this is not embarrassing at all!" You say swimming away.

"I'm fine." Scott says taking off his sandals and shirt and getting in the pool.

"That was the beginning and not the ending of that, right?"

"Ask him." You say laughing.

"You good over?" Scott asks him, when you both realize that he hadn't moved.

"Yep." He quickly turn and swims straight for you. 

You scream and try to swim away. 

He grabs you around the waist and puts you over his shoulder, then stand up so your ass is in his face and he turns and bites your left ass cheek. Then takes you back under the water. You bite him on his back and he let's you go.

You swim away and hide behind Scott.

"Nope, don't bring that shit over here." 

"You heard him. Go away Chris."

"Come here, Erin." 

He says as he lunges towards you.

You were quicker and got out of the pool.

He watches you walk away.

"Erin, can I have fries with that shake?" 

"You better behave."

"This is me behaving."

"You want a beer, Scott?" 

"Always." You open it and had it to him.

"Do I get one?" 

"Are you going to behave?"

"Probably, not."

You open his and walk it over to him.

You finally get yours.

"Watch this."

You put your beer bottle on the edge of the pool, stand to the left of it.

You do a cart wheel right over the bottle but stay on your hands and pick it up with your teeth and suck it in a little, then do a front to back slit then push off your hands and gracefully flip into the water. You come up with the beer bottle still in your mouth.

"Holy shit. That's awesome." Scott says.

Chris is just leaning against the side of the pool staring at you.

You swim up to him

"You didn't like it?"  You ask feeling a bit insecure.

He grabs your hand and walks you out of the pool and straight towards his back door.

"We'll be right back. Go ahead order whatever for lunch." He says to Scott as you follow him inside.

[abyssal-hoonter]

[The highest place]

-----

The Assassins enjoyed to observe the city from above because that was high and gave them a better view. A better view that people needed to understand. So did Evie. Perhaps. This was the first time she had herself here not because of her duty, but because she wanted to go far away from the train which she and her brother called "home" especially when they were still in this center city of the world, London. A flash in her thought drove her to regret going to this place just to fill another page of her life notebook writing about what had been happening...

People believed no smoke without fire. Maybe it was true this time. Evie wanted to hide, to run away, to make a distance with the one she had never believed. She knew who it was, the woman with red hair, a bit taller, older and maybe wiser than her and that was exactly the one Evie once thought that individual had been ended by a fucking cane - sword. Miss Thorne, evidently.

Evie buried herself into hundred lines of thinking which was dancing crazily in her head. At the same time she thought it must be stopped no matter what. Crushing her skull, washing her brain, anything could help, but nothing helped... She wondered how Henry was. Would he be the same like the old day when they first met on a roof of a building? Or was he busy enough pursuing something that the Brotherhood had been always against?

Jacob did tell her what she didn't want to understand nor hear. The way he shared the story and his expression, including his eyes when he had looked at his older sister, all rang a bell that he was telling the truth.

"Acting hastily and brutally does NOT mean I never use my brain, dearest sister." She remembered what he had told her when they were arguing in the train, with Miss Thorne leaning on the wagon wall and sighed heavily. Evie rushed outside once they had done talking and hadn't realized tears had already been covered her cheeks. Even now gazing at the air from the tallest point of London, the Big Ben, she could feel her tears being dried as she began to recall what had happened one week ago.

---

"You fucking bastard! Son of a bitch!" Jacob cursed loudly as he rushed toward Henry, grabbing his shirt with one hand and the other one delivered a heavy punch to the man's face. "How could you do this to us? How could you do this to my sister?!!!" He screamed as he was mad and continued to punch Greenie until Miss Thorne came and intervened.

"Frye! Stop! Stop!" She said and yanked Jacob out from the Indian. Jacob, still gritting his teeth, tried to catch Henry with his arms stretched forward and his fingers formed like a vampire preparing to kill their prey. Henry, stood with his face full of bruises and blood caused by the younger Frye.

"First you cheated on her. Now you're with that fucking Mr. Starrick!" Jacob roared.

"Your sister is just a tool without thinking. Just like you, Jacob. She acts like she's so mature but deep down from inside now I'm starting to realize you all assassins are just... animals." Henry scoffed a simple but cruel irony. Jacob was surprised by what he was seeing in this man. Just not so long ago he was still a gentleman, saying noble words and talking greatly politely. That was contradicted to what the hell he was right now. All Jacob could see was a mere person who wore a Templar band on his sleeve and speaking like a brute with his voice full of hatred and disdain toward the people he once stood side by side.

"That was your fucking fault first! You cheated on Evie, my sister. You betrayed her! She lost her memory because of you!!" Jacob angrily said.

"She did something worse than me, Frye. She became one with the woman standing there, beside you." Henry laughed and gestured to Lucy, who was still trying to calm herself despite those critical words she had heard. "What's that? Love? Allow me to fix it, Mr. Frye. It is sickness! Purely an act of pathetic whores--" he continued, and didn't have a chance to finish the sentence when suddenly Lucy broke out "from her cage" and dashed to his place, giving him tons of punches and rakes. She grabbed his collar and hit him to the ground. The man struggled to get out but he was totally lost. In a moment he realized how powerful Miss Thorne could be, a woman could be, especially when they went mad and the devil side of them took control.

"Whores are ones toying people's heart!!" Lucy's eyes opened wide and the man could see dark fire in them.

This time, it was Jacob who tried to prevent the redhead from killing Henry. He wrapped her waist from behind and stepped backward but Lucy kicked her legs repeatedly before deciding to stop.

Right at that moment, Evie came in and witnessed what was in front of her eyes. She saw Henry in bad state and his brother backing Thorne.

"What's happening?" She raised her voice, and to Jacob and Lucy's surprised, Henry started to groan.

"Evie... Evie..." Greenie pleaded.

Jacob watched and saw Henry secretly conceal his Templar band. He stomped forward, intending to check the man but Evie pushed him away. "Don't touch him!" She said. Jacob frowned with frustration.

"You did this to him, Jacob? How dare you!" Evie shouted to Jacob's face. She didn't realize Henry was grinning caddishly behind Evie's back.

"I did." A voice came from Lucy, "I hate public dicks!"

Evie's blood boiled in anger. She stared at the woman as if she was trying to kill Thorne again with her blue eyes now full of violence.

Henry pretended to stand up as Evie hold his arms. "Evie... I gotta go. Sorry." He said and unleashed his rope launcher to disappear on the rooftop.

Evie gave both her brother and the redhead a side-glance before running away, heading to nowhere in particular. Lucy couldn't leave her alone as she chased from behind when Jacob rolled his eyes and followed.

---

Such a memory.

But the one she got yesterday was better to be cursed than what she had just thought of. She didn't want to believe but she had to get use to the fact from now on: Henry Green was a Templar, siding with the Grand Master of British Rite and he was going to search for the Shroud, either. And guess what? The special person she used to plan an assassination plan was helping her and Jacob, somehow, without getting tired of both her suspicion and her brother's doing. The female Frye felt like Lucy was slowly replacing Mr. Green in their life, not including the truth that Evie was the one who used to spend days and nights in the former Templar's arms, falling asleep together after reading books, discussing topics with one another, walking alongside the streets of London talking about poems, buying foods and drinks for beggars and children by their own little coins, and even --

She released a heavy breath and closed her eyes. It was not so long until she heard a sound from behind and turned. That was Miss Thorne, who finally caught her there after a long way of pursuing the girl since Evie had been drawing a distance between them.

Lucy realized that Evie must have cried. They looked at each other for a moment and none of them said anything.

It was Evie who decided to break the silence, "How could you go up here?"

Lucy crossed her arms and leaned on the surface next to her, "You're not the only one who can climb."

Evie dragged a half smile and looked away, "I'm not in the mood, Miss Thorne. Leave me."

Her voice where the pain and disappointment was hidden. She had worked in the shadow because she believed it would serve the light but never she had thought one day definitely she had met the man she once loved cowered beside Starrick, or called her brother a foolish cow, or called Lucy a whore burned in the pussy because Lucy loved her honestly.

"I know... I'm not here to talk lesson." Lucy paced to her side and looked at the direction Evie was gazing, "I'm here to get you home." She softly said and looked at Evie, who was not making an eye-contact, "It's been a day since you've gone. To what I know about your personality you haven't eaten yet..."

The young girl frowned and glared at Thorne, "No need for such thing. I can take care of myself."

She finished her sentence and about to perform a leap of faith. Miss Thorne, already predicted that, grabbed Evie's arm firmly and slammed her against the wall behind, looking at her with those dark brown eyes both begging and warning. The young assassin was cornered and trapped, yet she couldn't free herself by pushing the older woman backward since it could make Lucy suffer from a deadly falling. They stood looking at each other's eyes until Evie felt Lucy's fingers was swipping her tears and rubbing her cheeks. They started to kiss and the feeling of craving to be one again to wake up.

It was a little cold near the top of Big Ben as they can see once the Frye was naked and they threw themselves into caressing each other. Gliding her fingertips slowly across Evie's body was one of the parts Lucy enjoyed as she could see the girl beneath gasping and trempling. Evie pulled the woman closer to start another long and deep kiss while enjoying the pleasure Miss Thorne was excitedly giving her. The girl couldn't hold herself from making a loud moan when Lucy dipped her long and naughty tongue into her core. Licking, whirling, sucking and even toying her with it.

"Oh Go..d... Lucy-- How could you--" her word failed as she couldn't continue to say anything but just laid there, enjoying what was coming and of course it was close.

She shook in the climax. The last things she saw before closing her eyes for a short rest were Miss Thorne who gave her a kiss on the forehead and began to put her cloths in place.

.

A few minutes later, Evie opened her eyes and saw her head cushioned on the older woman's thigh. Lucy smiled at her. A soft and beautiful smile Evie wished she would never stop seeing it for the rest of her life. She sat up next to the redhead, weaving their hands together.

"It's late. We should come back to the train." Lucy whispered, "Jacob must be waiting long enough."

Evie leaned on Thorne's shoulder, "I will never forget this place."

"Me too."

---

*At night*

Jacob prepared for his duty with the Rooks. He checked everything carefully and put the top hat on his head. He looked at himself in the mirror and smile with confidence. Seathing his kurki in its place, he knew there was only one thing more to do before getting to his job - saying "Goodnight" to his sister. Although he could be a naive boy or an arrogant, the man always cared for everyone particularly who stayed with him in the battles and never left them behind. So was this time, he cared for his sister. After what had happened he was certain that Evie deserved better.

He walked to his sister's wagon but looked back at his to check everything one more time, "Evie, I'm out for work, you should stay with--" as his eyes went back to his sister's wagon entrance, he noticed a small board hanged from the other side of the door.

Do not disturb

"--Miss Thorne." He now finished and rolled his eyes, "Arh! Perfect."

He walked outside the hideout and swivelled his neck, "Hope they will finish before I come back."