#grateful for everyone ive ever talked to here. i feel

[dracwife]

hi did you know i love you <3 you are one of the wisest and strongest people i've ever known and you mean so much to me. i know things are hard right now but you will get through it and come out even stronger. remember that you're never alone. lean on me okay? i'm here. and never feel bad about any of your ships, because your f/os love you completely, so hold tight to them and let them help you heal as well

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!! i don't know how you put up with me all the time but i love u and it means the world to me that i can always have u to talk to. im giving you hugs and kisses and smooches and smorches an

[rorschachisgay]

i wish there was some nuance between "everyone has to love the word queer" and "if you don't like it you are a terf automatically". because the reality is i don't identify with the word queer and i never have. as a kid i was aware of it as a slur and as a teenager i started to understand it in an academic concept first (as in Queer Theory) but i didn't identify with it because in my mind it was like, a clinical, academic word. and then later as i got older it became an increasingly prevalent point of conflict around me.

im not arguing that terfs dont dislike queer as a group term, though speaking from a british perspective the majority of them here are very focused on removing the T from LGBT over arguing about queer as a term at all, so it doesnt really feel like a particularly important form of conflict over what is a very targeted erasure of trans identity Specifically.

and thats kind of partially why i struggle to identify with the term Queer. it is not specific. it does not describe or capture my identity. lately i have found much more identity in words like fag, faggot, transexual, which do relate directly to my specific identities and have a very long history in the community. and additionally, won't get fuckin sold back to me by coke.

like that's really all Queer feels like to me now, something that has now been packaged up as an easily marketable buzzword to be printed on t-shirts at Primark or used meaninglessly by Disney to pretend they care. it does not refer to the aspects of my identity that matter to me, it's not something that i ever claimed for myself, and now i am continually getting told that if i don't identify with it im bigoted against myself and my siblings.

"queer was reclaimed by everyone, it was reclaimed in the 80s". i actually don't feel like someone else gets to decide this for me? im not going to lie and pretend it was never used as part of the campaign for equality for decades and decades, it obviously has a crucial place in history, but now in popular culture it has become like. ubiquitous.

like ive said before i think words like fag and dyke can be used in a way that reflects our communal family and is a sign of camaraderie and that's also true of queer, but with those words it's extremely understandable when someone isn't comfortable with them and when someone doesn't want to identify with queer it's treated as a sign they're in the wrong.

idk this is so far from being a crucial issue it's barely worth talking about but i just really struggle with being told that i am in the wrong because i have my own complicated feelings about a word with a complicated history. in the grand scheme of things it's NOT that important but it does grate on my nerves to be told that theres zero room for any kind of debate or alternate opinion in this. like i just wish we didn't have to be so black and white as if the issue has no grey area or room for personal expression at all.

[sokkadora]

vanishing grace — mizu x fem!spider!reader

summary: breaking into to fowler’s castle wasn’t as easy as you’d originally thought, neither was the idea of being able to come out unscathed.

a/n: girl help! i cannot stop drawing my spidersona with mizu!!! also i think this is the longest fic ive ever written for a oneshot 💀 also this is not proofread so if there are mistakes forgive me 😭

wc: 3.9k

warning(s): guns, gunshot wound, being stabbed, slight angst if you squint, FOWLERS HEADASS, mizu being sad

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸

︿︿︿︿︿︿ ✎ᝰ . . . .

You followed silently behind Mizu as she carefully counted the paces to the far entrance to Fowler’s Castle, making sure to place your feet in the dents in the snow where her feet had stepped.

The silence surrounding you two since everything that happened at Madame Kaji’s was tense. You were upset with her. Of course you were. She let Akemi get taken back into captivity and Ringo had left because of her actions.

You could understand where she was coming from, in a way. You can’t save everyone. It’s a hard truth you’d learned in your years as Spider-Woman, but you can’t help but feel like you could’ve done something.

Right before your face could make contact with Mizu’s back, your steps abruptly stopped thanks to your sixth sense. She used her naginata to brush the snow off the covered grate in the ground.

Mizu silently handed you your mask after slicing it open, and you took it from her hand softly. Could she tell you were upset with her? And if she could, did she even care? You shook it off, tugging on your mask.

She dropped down into the tunnel, water splashing beneath her feet softly upon impact. She glanced around quickly before turning back to you, holding up her arms to help you down.

You let her, trying to get ahold of yourself as her hands gripped your waist and gently set you down before she closed the grate with her weapon. 

The tunnel darkened significantly and Mizu made a sudden move to keep your hand in hers as you made your way further in. She eventually found a dry enough piece of wood, wrapping a cloth around the top, lighting the cloth on fire to make a torch.

There was loud squeaking coming from your feet, and the two of you looked down to find around 5 rats staring up at you. Mizu killed one, and the rest scattered.

The two of you continued until you came across dozens of skeletons, children’s skeletons, and that was the only other pause you took in the tunnels.

“Oh my god,” You whispered, placing a hand over your mouth at the sight of a woman’s skeleton with her arms wrapped around the child’s far smaller one. You gripped Mizu’s hand tighter as she seethed, dragging you down through the tunnels.

She stopped just before the two of you could run into a door, and let go of your hand. She tried opening it with no luck. Then she leaned her weapon against the doorframe to take off her pack. She handed you the torch, and you glanced around the tunnel nervously.

“What’s the plan, Mizu?” You asked, your hands beginning to shake. Was it fear? Adrenaline? You didn’t know. But every fiber of your body was screaming at you like this was a bad idea, and you couldn’t help but agree.

“Don’t really have one,” She shrugged, picking up her lock picking equipment and kneeling in front of the lock. Your heart pounded at her dry and casual admission that she didn’t have a plan to get through this death house, but you took a deep breath to compose yourself. It was already tense enough. “You’re kind of my secret weapon if everything goes to shit.”

“We should’ve talked about this on the way here,” You grumbled as the lock finally clicked. You took it as good news for a moment before the tunnels behind you began rumbling. 

They burst full with water, and you pushed the torch back into her hands. You rushed to the door handle, and began to yank on it with all your strength. It was heavy. You could easily throw a shipping container, and this was hard and rusted for you to open.

It squeezed open a crack, but it was too late. Mizu and you were quickly knocked out as the rushing water slammed you both against the door harshly, and everything went black.

You recovered a bit quicker than Mizu did, but quickly swam back over to the door to continue your work while praying that you wouldn’t drown. It already felt as if your mask was waterboarding you, even though you chose that fabric that wouldn’t do that when you made it (if you got back home to your time, you were contacting the seller). You broke the lock after a brief moment of suffocation, pulling the door open and pushing Mizu through before following after her.

There was finally a place for you both to surface, right under a grate in what you guessed was a supply room. The both of you hacked water out your lungs, catching your breath.

You pushed the grate off, pulling yourself up with aching limbs before holding out your hand and pulling Mizu up with ease. The two of you panted for another minute before she turned to you, her usually cold, narrow eyes more round and almost puppy like.

“You okay?” She asked softly as you tugged off your mask and rung it out.

“Besides being practically waterboarded in this mask?” You coughed up some more water, and she patted your back. “Just peachy.”

She didn’t respond, opting to take off her roll and check what supplies she’d lost in the process of the water slammed into her. She’d lost a lot, still panting before she wiped the water off her face with the back of her hand. She rolled her pack back up and helped you to your feet.

Making your way up the floors of the castle proved to be more physically taxing than you’d originally expected. Although, Mizu could firmly admit now that she was jealous of your acrobatic skills after you flipped and dodged through the corridor after getting stabbed through the ankle at the last second.

Finally, the dust from that flower had worn off for you and you heard grunting coming from a cell farther back in the dungeon. You quickly made your way over with Mizu behind you, gasping at the sight of Taigen. He was beaten to a pulp, a heavily swollen eye, and skin pale. The most frail you’ve ever seen him.

You stayed on your feet to keep watch as Mizu kneeled down to check on him.

“Taigen.” She sighed in relief, a small smile on her face. 

He grunts, bringing his hand up to brush against the wrapping on her neck. “That's...” He groans, “That's my scarf.” 

“Are you real?”She asks quietly, and he raises a brow to the best of his ability. 

“I think so.” 

You kneel on the other side of Taigen, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Can you walk?” Taigen grunts as you help him sit up. 

“Might be slow.”He grumbles, allowing you to sling his arm around your shoulders and haul him up. He was far lighter than the last time you’d seen him after leaving him in the forest, and the hero part of you couldn’t help but worry.

“Better than you being dead,” You huffed, shaking your head at Mizu when she tried to help. She had to focus. You could handle taking care of Taigen. 

You help him hobble out of the cell, turning left to follow Mizu further down the corridor to the next door and flight of stairs. 

The large man that had sought Mizu out for Heiji Shindo was looming in before the door at the other end of the hall at the top of the stairs, and you could only sit with Taigen and watch as she fought the man. You webbed up Taigen’s wounds as some form of pressure as Mizu launched herself back after stabbed the explosive into the man’s neck.

She landed a few feet away from you before the explosive activated, killing the man and knocking all of you out.

When you came to, you were acutely aware of the fact you were slowly sliding off the remaining rubble hanging over the edge of where a wall once was. 

Coughing, you propped yourself up on your elbow as Mizu began to stir awake and took in your new surroundings. A sharp pain on the left side of your torso hit you, and you hissed in pain before looking down to see a large scrape that managed to tear some of your suit.

You attention quickly turned to your right when a groan rang out, you turned your head to see Taigen slowly falling off the ledge. 

Before you could lunge for him yourself, she grabbed his wrist and slid off with him, not having the strength to keep them both on the ground.

“Mizu!” You shouted, more than ready to dive off the side to catch both of them. When you peered over the ledge, you almost let out a sob from the relief at the sight of Mizu dangling from her sword that was stabbed into the side of the building, holding Taigen in her other hand before pulling him onto her back.

You rolled off the ledge, crawling down the wall to them as Mizu gained her footing and gripped onto the crevices in the stone and yanked her sword out.

“Give me your hand,” She seemed reluctant, not wanting to put more physical stress onto you. Your eyes seemed rounded, almost puppy like as you asked again. “Please, Mizu. I can carry the both of you.”

She reluctantly placed her tired hand into your own, surprised by your strength as you easily lifted both of them onto your back the same way Mizu had done to Taigen. You gingerly took her sword, biting the dull end to hold it in your mouth, almost snarling as you scaled up the side of the castle.

Mizu watched in admiration, and almost adoringly at how tenacious and adamant you were. You were easily scaling the building with two bodies dangling from your shoulders, and you were doing all of it just to help her. No one had ever been there for her the way you have (besides sword father), in just a few months as well.

You had found a small, wider ledge to pull yourself onto. You placed your elbow on the ledge and pulled yourself up, panting softly as you gazed in through the window. A small army of guards was grouped behind a door, waiting for the three of you, you guessed. Your spider sense rang in your ears and you grunted, turning your head back to Mizu.

“Hold on,” You grunted, shooting a hand out to spray a web to the top of the window. You yanked yourself up the web, internally thinking about how easily you did this back home. But you made it over the window just as a guard looked back, seeming to have heard you, but not seeing anything.

After finally reaching the room that Fowler resided in, the both of you watched from below a window as one of the lords stood in front of it. Mizu gingerly removed her sword from her mouth, raising her arm to throw it.

“After he starts to drop, throw Taigen in.” She rasped in your ear, and you nodded, not being able to stop the goosebumps that quickly covered your body from the warm breath on your neck.

It all happened quicker than you could really comprehend; Mizu stabbing the lord, throwing Taigen into the room, and launching her from your shoulders into the room. You followed after quickly, the sight of your spider-suit earning strange glares from the lords.

“Abijah Fowler!” Mizu shouted, holding her sword out and ready. “Where is he?” She wandered over to the table with you right behind her, gazing down at a sheet of paper with what seemed to be a war plan and a map of Edo.

Mizu quickly turned as one of the lords struck his sword at her, backing up into you to make sure you weren’t hit. When she struck back, the dull edge of her blade resting against the fat of his neck before lifting her leg up and kicking him back. He landed on the wooden floor with a harsh thud, making you wince.

The click of a gun cocking and the trigger being pulled registered in your head before she could notice it.

You launched yourself over the table at the much larger body; Fowler. Shooting a web on either side of him, you yanked yourself at him as he fired. You let out a shout as your foot made solid contact with his cheek, knocking him back as Mizu’s blade broke, the bullet tearing through her shoulder.

You scrambled onto your feet to sprint back to Mizu as Fowler lifted his head, rubbing his jaw with an unnerving smile.

“Now, what are you?”

Mizu whimpered as she held the shoulder where the bullet entered before looking at her broken blade mournfully. You quickly moved her hands, checking the other side of her shoulder to see if the bullet went through; you really didn’t want to dig one out of her. Thankfully it did, and you quickly webbed up the injury as Abijah stood, grabbed a brush to shove down the barrel of his gun.

“You see?” He states to Heiji, using his gun to push the man’s sword down as they watched you and Mizu. “No one murders so well as the British. It’s our number one export.”

Mizu growled at the man before lunging at him with her broken blade, but he quickly raises his gun and wacks her back, throwing her into the wall. Your breath hitched before you raised your eyes to face him, a rage bubbling in your stomach that hadn’t ever been before. It was new, and foreign, and dark.

But Mizu said you shouldn’t run from the dark.

“Look at you..” Abijah mocked, “No ones ever made it up half this far before.”

You let out a cry as you sprinted forward. He tried to pull the same move on you but you ducked under, kicking him square in the chest and sending him a few feet back. He kept his footing as he rose again, looking square into your eyes. Your nose scrunched under the mask.

“And you,” He squinted, watching as your shoulders rose and fell heavily with your pants. “I’ve never seen one like you…what are you?” He noticed the spider emblem on your suit and smiled in amusement. “Little spider?”

You remained silent before charging again as Mizu regained herself, and you were too caught up in your anger and attacking the man to notice his large hand coming up to grip your neck.

He dangled you off the ground, watching with a smile as you became more panic. It quickly stilled your movements, your hands beginning to shake as you clawed at his hand. His hand squeezed your throat tighter and you wheezed in his grip.

He wriggled a thumb under your mask and ripped it off, scoffing in amusement.

“Strong little thing, aren’t ya?” He commented, running his thumb over your jawline.

You spit in his face, mustering up the harshest glare you could must as his expression turned to anger.

“Fuck you,”

“Oh, darling,” He laughed, and before you could really process, his gun raised to your stomach and he shot you in the side.

Mizu watched in terror as you screamed. It was nightmarish. The most gut wrenching scream she’d ever heard, and she was sure it was just tattooed onto the inner most parts of her brain. She had been told of your past injuries when she helped you bind your chest, her hand gently running all your scars, but she never imagined that she’d be responsible for another one. Even if it wasn’t by her hands.

He tossed you over near Taigen like you were a rag doll, making your vision spotty as Mizu shouted again, but it barely registered in your head as a fight broke out and he began pummeling Mizu. Taigen had jumped in what you heard, and Fowler was beating him to a pulp above you.

Before you knew it, the three of you were soaring — no… falling, out of the window you’d arrived in, into the freezing water dozens of stories below.

——————

You felt warm.

Were you home?

No… the bedding beneath you was too stiff.

Groaning, you attempted to come to a sitting position before the familiar touch of a stub came to rest on your chest.

“Stay down,”

You opened your eyes softly, letting a smile rest on your lips at the sight of Ringo hovering above you with a wet rag. When he turned back to place the rag on your stomach, he noticed your smile, and returned it with a brighter one.

“I’m glad you’re alright,” You smiled up at him, wincing at the sharp pain as the ragged soaked the water through your wound. “Did you get the bullet out?”

“Mizu did,” He replied, his smile dropping at the topic of your mutual friend. Well, once mutual friend. “It was hard for her though. Almost made me feel bad.”

You raised an eyebrow before sighing, “Let’s not talk about that right now, ‘kay?” You raised a hand and pinched the bridge of your nose. Their beef was not yours, and while you did want them to talk it out and at least make up, you weren’t going to stick your nose where it didn’t belong. He nodded hesitantly, helping you sit up and tie on a haori over your chest bindings. “Where are we?” You asked, looking around the room.

“Master Eiji’s.”

“This is the place?” You glanced around more attentively now, after finding out you were in the house of the man that had taken Mizu under his wing. You had a weird urge to hug him, but you knew that was probably inappropriate. “Huh..”

“I made you medicine,” He interrupted your thoughts and handed you a warm bowl and rose to his feet. “I’ll be just outside. Call if you need me.”

You nodded, not bothering to watch him leave before digging in. You were starving. You probably ate it faster than you were supposed to, but it tasted good and helped you feel good. You crawled over to where the other dirty dishes were stacked, placing your bowl on top. You figured you’d ask Ringo to help wash them once you found Mizu.

It was nearing the middle of the day when you stepped outside, squinting at the sudden bright light before you began wandering into the forest. If she wasn’t at Eiji’s, she was probably doing something out there. You were surprised to see her stacking rocks atop each other from the edge of the clearing, but didn’t hesitate to keep approaching.

“What are you making?”

Mizu jumped at the sound of your voice, clearly too in the zone to notice that your footsteps were loud enough for her to hear for once. At the sight of you, she dropped the rock she gripped tightly in her hands in favor of running over to you and engulfing you in a hug.

You were stunned. Sure, skinship had become a common occurrence in your relationship with Mizu, but it’d never gotten to hugging. 'Figures. Only I’d have a situationship where we’ve kissed each other before hugging,’ You thought to yourself as you gripped onto the back of Mizu’s haori while she silently cried into your hair, holding the back of your head and shoulders like you could slip away at any second.

“Don’t ever do that again,” She scolded while pulling away, placing her hands on either side of your face. She squished your face, causing you to chuckle softly before looking up at her.

Her eyes were soft, round… she’d never looked at you this softly. At least, not while you were looking according to Taigen and Ringo. She almost looked like a kicked puppy from the amount of guilt in her eyes.

“I never should have brought you with,” She whispered, letting one hand fall to your shoulder while the other rested over the gunshot wound on your stomach with a featherlight touch. She was almost scared that she’d break you if she was any more rough. “Then you would’ve been safe with Ringo and…” She sighed shakily, dropping to her knees and resting her forehead against your navel.

Your breath hitched as her hands slid down your sides to grip the tops of your hips with shaky hands.

“and you wouldn’t have almost died because of me. You wouldn’t have another scar because of me.” She almost whimpered it out, hands gripping your hips tighter as she looked up at you. “I can’t lose you.”

Her stunning eyes held the words she couldn’t muster up the courage to say herself, and your cheeks heated up immensely before you kneeled with her, your hands coming to rest on her arms. As you gently caressed the taut muscles, you swallowed the lump in your throat as your hands came to rest on either side of her face.

“You won’t,” You whisper surely, thumbs coming up to catch her tears before they could trail down her cheeks. “I won’t let that happen, and neither will you. We’re too stubborn to die.” You smile, watching her mouth as she does the same. “And I’m too stubborn to let you push me away when I know you feel the same now.”

Mizu huffs out a soft laugh, “Was I that obvious?”

“Eh,” You shrugged, doing a so-so hand motion. “I heard it all the time from Ringo and the bozo, but never really believed it until now. Your eyes are very expressive.”

Mizu chuckles, but it’s cut off when you pull her lips down to yours. Her eyes widen before she lets herself melt into you and your sweet lips, a smile tugging on her lips as her hands grip your haori and pull her closer. You gasped at the sudden gentle yank, and she took her opportunity to slip her tongue into your mouth.

Reluctantly, after a few more moments you pulled away with a grin, running a thumb over her now swollen lower lip. Your attention turned behind you to what seemed to be a firepit. 

“What are you making?”

Mizu turns her head to see where you’re looking before standing, helping you up to your feet again. Her hand doesn’t leave yours as she begins explaining, and you’re glad. You don’t want to let go of her.

She explains that she’s going to attempt to melt and reforge her sword, since sword father had no steel for her. You listen attentively, barely willing to let her go as she goes over to pick up the rock she dropped and place it in the right spot on the growing wall. She seems optimistic, in a sense as you cross your arms over your chest and watch her work.

“It’ll work,” She grumbles, mostly to herself, as if she’s trying to convince herself – to will it into existence, but there’s still doubt there. You catch it, frowning before taking a stone off the cart to help her. When you place it down, she looks up at you with a surprised expression.

“It’ll work,” You smile, “And I’ll be here to help with whatever you need.”

[crushedsweets]

i was listening to twin size mattress by the front bottoms and was like. hmm this is the most toby song ever

SO i was wondering do u have any songs that remind you of specific creeps? could be from lyrics or just general vibes yk yk

- 🌙 anon (im new here hi)

HII welcome. ok ok. so i listen to music in a very boring way and never analyze lyrics/artists/albums/etc. but for you i will try to change.

also these lryics with toby oh wow.. wow. ok. wowwww. wow. ok. wow. STUFF UNDER THE CUT BUT KNOW IM DEEPLY WARPING THE ACTUAL MEANING BEHIND A LOT OF THESE SONGS LOL. i religiously listen to love songs so its hard

toby and honey by coastal club. (my fave song rn..)

whether its from his perspective or not.. it doesnt even have to be romantic either. just his friendships with everyone around him, both from people like tim and brian seeing this SEVERELY TROUBLED kid. . . 'wide eyed..dying to get outside' feels very :((( yk. he was a kid trapped in a fucking horrifying situation all his life. or him looking at his friendship with nina. "youve got a way with me... alive and so full of life, i'm mesmerized by your love" etc. maybe jack or clockwork with the "i started laughing at the words you spoke, i kinda like you and your stupid jokes"... AGAIN I KNOW ITS A LOVE SONG but i see it applying in so many different forms of love. and i love love. also a ton of like, car and driving references which is um. lyra reference sorry

nina x clockwork and "a big brown dog named bagel" by nep

ok this doesnt apply so much to my au(nobody is canon in mine but yk)... buttttttt... yeah. ugh. this is so nina @ nat. sorry guys ive been changed. one ask always diverts my attention at the speed of light. "I like the way she bites, the way she talks, the way she looks when I smile" is just SO FUCKING NINA ADORING NAT. nina just wants to be in the most fairytale coming of age movie ya novel lovestory and she says that her biggest dream in life is to get married. she wants to take care of her lover and give and give and give so fucking much and "I'll buy you a big old house on a big old hill And I'll grow old with my baby, 'til she's dead" is so very her. of course i chose clockwork cuz 'she's tall in the knees' and 'some green in her eyes' plus im a lesbian and havent fawned over sapphic relationships in months since i began my creepypasta return. LOL

eyeless jack and "downhill" by lincoln

there r few words to describe the amount of guilt, horror, and devastation that jack feels after what he's done, all he's lost, and what he has to do to survive. he has a year of his life that he was literally possessed by a demon and went around fucking tearing humans apart and eating their remains. even as he's """recovering""" and settling into a cabin, his friendships with the creeps, trying to just feel okay. he's on his last leg, he can tell that people know he's a shell of what he was but they'll never know how warm, kind, inviting he used to be. "i went downhill at such a steep inline" ... yea he did his life changed immeasurably in a single night and it's never coming back. the lyrics "'Cause I was born into the world on a silken cloud / And I got bored of the world before I hit the ground" ... while he had a ton of pressure. he loved his life, loved his family, was the type to constantly express how grateful he was for everything that got him where he was. and then he hit rock fucking bottom because he wanted to chase a little excitement with the pretty girl inviting him to join a 'club.' poor guy

liu and "i'm not angry anymore" by paramore

i dont think i need to explain this because um..... lols... liu just wants to fucking move on. he just wants to escape everything. he wants his family back, including the little brother he'd play catch with in the front yard for so many years. but he has his moments where it all comes barreling back, and he makes real fucking brash decisions - he lost his marriage because he spiraled trying to find jeff and moved to fucking alabama. so you know.

jane and "everest" by beabadoobee

again, i dont think i need to explain this. maybe this could be mary(jane's wife) singing to jane, cuz she was one of janes main supports after her parents death. jane can only act strong for so long but she is so so so fucking sad and mourning and she was always so soft and gentle and sweet and she lost everything in a single night. she spent a short period of time filled with rage, as she would be, but her story eventually evolves into her just wanting to help others with their cases, be happy with her wife, take care of sally, grow old, make her parents proud. she's climbed mountains and is probably in the best place of all the creeps. holds her. i dont touch her character too often because i just want her to settle happily lolz..

ok thats all i got guys :3.. thank youuuuu thank youuu. sorry if my music taste is bad guys. LOL.

[fluentmoviequoter]

The Freak and The Princess (V)

Summary: Eddie lets you walk by during his rant in the cafeteria, stumped by your quietness and manners toward the town freak. He then decides to be the perfect gentlemen. [Part 5/5] 2.1k+ Words

Warnings: the beginning of this part overlaps with the end of Part IV, a fight, Jason Carver, tons and tons of fluff. I think that's it!

A/N: Here is the finale! I am absolutely shocked by the amount of love this series has gotten and am incredibly grateful to everyone who has read it and left encouraging notes! I edited and proofread this, but please let me know if I missed anything or if there's something you like! My requests are open and I am happily waiting for my first one; characters I write for are linked here! I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading!! :)

Part I. Part II. Part III. Part IV. Part V.

The Freak and the Princess

Part Five: Our Year

“You need to tell him,” Robin said as she closed the door.

“Tell him what?” I asked quietly.

“That you love him. He deserves to know and both of you deserve to be happy.”

“How does that relate to his happiness?”

“Because he feels the same way!”

“No, he doesn’t.”

“He obviously does. You’re both hiding your feelings, but you could tell each other and have an even better relationship than you have now!”

 Robin stopped talking, opened the door, and answered the phone.

“It’s for you,” she said, handing me the phone.

“Hello?” I asked.

“I can’t figure it out; you and the Hellfire freaks. What are they? Your protection squad? The entire population of people you aren’t scared to talk to? You talk a big game at school, defending the little freaks who can’t defend themselves. But what happens when you’re alone? When you get so scared you can’t talk, or tell me your real name? Because it will happen again. And when it does, I won’t run this time. So, show me how mean you can be. But watch your back, Arwen.”

I listened to the static after the call dropped, fighting tears. As I hung up the phone, I took a shaky breath and met Eddie’s eyes.

“That was Jason Carver.”

“What did he want?” Eddie and Steve asked together, moving toward me and Robin.

I shook my head, once again failing to speak. Robin rubbed my back lightly as Eddie silently begged me to tell him what happened.

“He just said to watch my back,” I explained quietly, looking down at my feet. “That I wouldn’t be so brave when I’m alone.”

Steve’s jaw tightened, and he opened his mouth to speak but stopped when Eddie backhanded his arm.

“I’m not scared of him, but I know he means it.”

“We’re not going to let anything happen to you,” Steve said sternly.

“You’re not alone, princess. Ever,” Eddie added.

“Besides, from what I hear, you could take him. Again.” Robin smiled as she nudged my shoulder with hers.

I felt a smile growing, grateful for the friends surrounding me. Robin hugged me, then I felt Steve and Eddie’s arms around me.

“You wanna go home, princess?” Eddie asked, pulling back slightly to look at me. 

I nodded, taking his hand and walking out after thanking Steve and Robin. As I walked through the door, Robin gave me a look, reminding me of our conversation.

In the van, I relapsed into silence for the entire ride. Even when I invited Eddie in, I did it with a hand gesture and a tip of my head. We sat on the couch, Eddie gently resting a hand on my knee and waiting for me to look at him.

“Do you want to stay in Hawkins?” I asked suddenly, not thinking before it came out.

“I want to be wherever you are,” Eddie answered, his thumb sweeping across my leg.

“I want to be with you, but I don’t think I want to leave Hawkins. At least not yet.”

“You don’t have to. You have people here that love you. Besides, we still have two weeks of high school left. And this is my year.”

He nudged me at the end of his sentence, smiling at me. We decided to watch a movie and leave the life-altering decisions for another day. Eddie stayed at my house all weekend, and we studied for exams, ensuring we would walk the stage and graduate together.

The second to last week of school was repetitive: wake up, get ready, ride to school with Eddie, go to class, eat lunch with the Hellfire Club (and give them the stress-baked treats from the night before), go home with Eddie, study, bake, and sleep. Our last weekend of high school, however, was movies and ice cream, a delicious attempt to avoid over-studying and burning out. Wednesday was the last day of exams, but because Eddie finished before me, so I told him I would meet him at Family Video when I finished. As I finally exited the school, Jason Carver was leaned against the only car in the parking lot. 

“Arwen,” he greeted sarcastically as he stood up. “Long time, no see.”

I took a deep breath and curled my hands into fists at my sides.

“What, you want to fight? Without the freak here to help? That seems stupid. Considering I didn’t come alone.”

He looked over my shoulder, and I turned to see one of his basketball teammates standing behind me.

“There are two options here. You take a beating or-“

“Good to see you’re still an idiot, Carver,” someone yelled as a car door slammed to my left.

“Harrington? What are you doing here?” Jason responded.

I looked to my left and saw Steve and Eddie walking toward me.

“What I should have done a long time ago,” Eddie interjected.

“It doesn’t have to be like this, Harrington. This is between me and the quiet one here.”

“Not anymore. Two of you, two of us,” Eddie pointed out.

Jason laughed as he looked between Steve and Eddie.

“You want to fight us, and what? Defend her honor?”

“No. She can do that alone. What we are going to do is put you in your place,” Steve countered.

Jason looked at his friend, who nodded. 

“Fine. Let’s get started,” Jason cracked his knuckles as he stepped toward Steve.

Steve took the first swing, knocking Jason back a few steps as his nose began bleeding. Eddie joined immediately after, dodging a punch and using the momentum to kick Jason’s teammate to the ground.

Jason landed a solid hit to Steve’s solar plexus, knocking the breath out of him as he stumbled backward, scraping his hands across the asphalt as he caught himself. Eddie attempted to keep the other guy down; after a few kicks to the kidneys, he panted for Eddie to stop and stumbled away. While Eddie was ensuring he stayed back, Jason moved toward Steve, who was still on the ground. I rushed over and stood in front of Steve.

“This is between you and me, Jason. Unless beating up your idol is just a weird fantasy for you or something,” I said, checking on Steve over my shoulder.

“You’re right. This is between us. Let’s see; the last time we saw each other, you held your arm to my throat. Maybe I should return the favor,” Jason threatened.

“Try.”

He smirked before pulling his shoulder back. Before he could shoot his arm out, I twisted quickly to my left and watched my fist connect to Jason’s jaw. He fell backward as his hand raised to hold his jaw. Eddie appeared beside him and hit him in the same spot, knocking him to the ground. Steve stood on shaky legs and walked past me to land one final hit.

“Stay away from her. And get out of Hawkins as soon as you graduate,” Steve said lowly before gesturing for us to return to his car.

Eddie stopped me as I turned toward the car. He pulled a bandana from his back pocket and wrapped it around my knuckles.

“That was quite the left hook,” he hummed as he tied it off and opened the car door for me.

“Thank you,” I said as Steve started the car.

“Not a problem.” Steve smiled at me in the rear view mirror as he wiped his bloody knuckles on his jeans.

“Seriously. You didn’t have to do that. I appreciate you – both of you – more than you know.”

Eddie and Steve shared a look I didn’t understand before reminding me that they would always be there for me. I wondered what Robin would say when she found out Eddie got into a fight for me.

When we finally walked into Family Video, Robin pulled me aside and asked, “Did you tell him yet?”

“No. There’s been a lot going on.”

“I know, Steve told me. But you have to tell him before Sunday.”

“Why?”

“Because then you’re officially out of high school and things start changing.”

“Fine.”

The following morning, Eddie came to my house and begged me to call the headmaster for his grades, claiming he couldn’t do it himself.

“Hello, I am calling on behalf of Eddie Munson,” I explained when the call was answered.

“Oh, yes. He passed all of his exams, all Bs in fact, so he will be graduating on Saturday!”

 “Thank you,” I said quietly, then hung up.

I turned to him, frowning.

“What?” he asked, brows furrowed.

“The Hellfire Club has to get a new DM, theirs is graduating.”

Eddie jumped off the couch, wrapping his arms around my waist and spinning me around. He kissed my cheek, then began talking a mile a minute about how he couldn’t have done it without me. After, I called Robin and asked if she wanted to go shopping with me for a graduation outfit, to which she immediately agreed, volunteering Steve to go with Eddie to make sure he looked decent.

“That is the one,” Robin exclaimed as I walked out of the dressing room for the fifth time.

“Really?” I asked, turning in the mirror.

“Absolutely. It might kill Eddie, but worth it.”

I laughed before changing out of it and buying it.

The morning of graduation, we met Steve and Eddie in the parking lot, saying bye and agreeing on where to meet after the ceremony. 

Eddie and I sat together through the ceremony, walking the stage and hearing Steve, Robin, Dustin, and Lucas screaming so loud we couldn’t even hear our names. We got back to our seats and sat down, holding hands. When we were released to find our friends and family, I tugged Eddie toward the woods behind the bleachers, sitting on a picnic table and holding Eddie’s hands.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” I said quietly.

“Ok,” Eddie said slowly, “everything alright, princess?”

“I think so.” I sat there, looking at his rings.

“You gonna tell me or I need to guess again?” he smiled.

“I don’t know how.”

“Can you show me?” He asked, tilting my head up to meet my eyes. 

I nodded, standing up and moving my hands to his chest, sliding them up and cupping his face. I moved to my tiptoes, pressing my lips to his and closing my eyes. He kissed me back immediately, with no hesitation in his movements. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. 

I pulled back first, smiling as I whispered, “I love you, Eds.”

He beamed at me, leaning his forehead against mine and whispering, “I love you too, princess.”

We walked hand in hand to our meeting spot, separating to hug our friends.

“I can’t believe you finally did it, Eddie! You graduated!” Dustin exclaimed.

“Couldn’t have done it without my princess,” Eddie said, a hand on my hip as he pulled me into his side and kissed my temple.

“When did it happen?!” Steve and Robin demanded loudly.

“What is this?” Lucas asked as Dustin shrugged.

“About five minutes ago,” Eddie shrugged.

“Took long enough,” Steve said, smiling as he slapped Eddie’s back.

“Who started it?” Robin asked.

“Take a guess,” I said.

“Eddie?” everyone asked.

“Nope.” He smiled. “She pulled me into the woods and kissed me.”

I hid my face in his gown, just below his shoulder. His arm wrapped around me, chuckling before answering Dustin’s questions about the graduation ceremony.

“So, party at my place. Just us, celebrating you two. Deal?” Steve asked me when I pulled away from Eddie. I nodded, and Steve smiled, pulling me into a hug and whispering, “I’m so happy for you.”

Eddie drove me to Steve’s house, his hand holding mine the whole time. We were alone by the pool while everyone else argued about what kind of pizza to order.

“So, are you staying in Hawkins?” Eddie asked.

“Only if you’ll stay with me,” I answered.

“I’ll go anywhere with you.”

“Even without knowing my name?”

“All I need to know is that you are my princess, and I will love you forever.”

“I love you, Prince Eddie. Thank you for everything. Thank you for listening.”

Eddie smiled as he pulled me close. “Thanks for talking. I’ll listen until I die.”

“Gross. I’m regretting our decision to intervene,” Steve said to Robin as they walked out the back door.

“I don’t know, they’re kinda cute,” Robin pointed out with a playful shrug.

“Wow. Inspirational. You should talk at our wedding,” Eddie called sarcastically.

“Wedding?” I asked, smiling.

“Oh, yeah. I’m actually becoming a prince someday, princess,” Eddie promised with a kiss.

Taglist (and extra special thanks to): @loonalockley @paleidiot @kimmi-kat

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

WeLL here we are...i want to write s/t quick to remember the year by. cus 2023 was probly one of my most significant years of life, even tho from the surface it may appear not much changed for me, 2023 laid the foundation,,,

firstly, january 2023 i began learning to make music, which is crazy like!!!! it has absolutely given me a new reason to be lieve in myself like i nvr had b4. its like unlocking a new area of my heart, and inutuion.. its so FUN, so so fun ohhh the fun i have, provides me w a brighter outlook for the future as i will always have this melodic part of me activated,going forward. ive learned so much in just a year. idk i just love it it makes me feel wise and complete i feel like an alchemist. i cld rly say a lot on the sense of security music has made me feel in my heart :'0 but i have some other things to get to;

summer 2023 i started doing yoga which has also changed things for me dramatically i think ive released a lot of built up stagnant energy from my body & aura. since i started i feel immensely more balanced n able to work thru my emotions as they come up. ngl when ppl used to recommend me to try yoga i thout it was hippie shit but its real lol.. im finding sm contentment in day to day life than i ever thought possible, easier time being present, yet another thing i will continue for the rest of my future that 2023 has given me.

these r good things but it must b said that this year has been Soooo rough for me in certain ways, mostly due to interpersonal relationships.. some ppl had to b let go from my life this year in ways i rly wasnt expecting & for a lot of the year things were just, foggy. however as things draw to a close im feeling immensely grateful like.. every1 im close to rn are all peaceful souls & we uplift each other, i see now why the ones causing drama naturally had to fall away. even if it was painful process im feeling so supported rn, & reciprocated TwwwT <3333

idk it just felt like as i was progressing w musical understanding, yoga stuff , as well as the past few months trying to use tea and herbs to get my organs in order, i feel that.. my energetic field is rly repairing itself & so a lot of old attachments just cant keep up anymore.

i have to say, well, erm, i am really in love w slimbo and its different than anything ive ever felt in my life. we've been in love for a long long time & i dont talk about it often as i am protective of this love. but god, its just, the purest bond ive ever known and our love for each other is deeper all the time. we r both life path 27/9 & the first time we met it literally felt like.. reuniting, it felt like a celebration..i had never noticed such warmth from someone. i cld never be in such a secure place rn if it wasnt for slimbo & every day im so grateful like dude i owe you my LIFE. idk how to explain it, we are just One. slimbo is my angel i cant wait to spend 2024 & forever with <3

if u read this far....ur a true PMDhead, thanks for being oomfies w me out here on the big wide web, i hope you bloom this year, & this can be a shift in the right direction for all of us <3 i believe palestine will be free. happy new year everyone, GANBATTE VIVA 2024 <333 -PMD9LL

[twiceland]

oh my gosh okay first of all happyyyy wednesday (it is wednesday in my timezone hehe) to everyone !!! today i hit 1k followers after having this blog since october 2022, and i feel ever so grateful for all of you, mutuals or not, for supporting me throughout this wild ride <//3 i'm currently in exam season (i'm crying inside) so i haven't been very active this year but i am still so happy and excited and ahhhh!!!!!! this means so much to me and honestly i can't even believe that we're here in this moment but wahshjdfhgjshd thank you all soooooo much <3 to celebrate, i decided to write mini email looking notes for some of my mutuals! please don’t be offended if i didn’t write an email for you; if you would like an email and we are mutuals please send me an ask and i will 100% write you one!!!!

to: miru ( @rosiesared ) subject: my fav yunjin stan

MIRUUUUU <3 i still cannot believe we’ve been friends for almost two years. you are genuinely one of the kindest people i know and one of the most genuine ones i know. you’re always there when i just wanna talk and ramble and we ramble together and i adore you for that 🥹 i remember us meeting and me being intimidated as fuck by you but u are the sweetest and have the most amazing personality 💖💖💖💖 i’m so proud of you always I LOVE U TO BITSSSSS

to: isai ( @solojihyo : @yosang ) subject: jihyo’s wife ( real !!! )

MY CLUMSY BLOB <3 hi my love!!! you are someone i love and hold so dearly to my heart <3 you’re someone i can talk to at my happiest and my worst, and you help me become a better version of myself. you’re so sweet and lovely and such a genuinely wonderful person and i appreciate you being in my life these past couple of years. i adore you!! love you sooooooo much my fav horanghae lover (btw i walked into a pole again yesterday. i didnt hurt myself dw) (also thank u for convincing me to download the cracked ps from the link you sent in the server) (i lov u)

to: michaela ( @mandu : @thefeelz ) subject: jennie’s loml

when you followed me i was so sure i was in a fever dream. i’m pretty sure i blinked at my screen like 200 times. ANYWAYS you are literally ,,,,, i think the only way to say this is so fucking cool . although we don’t talk a lot, seeing u on the dash is always a sure way to make me smile <3 i love youuuuu

to: zay ( @jeonwonwoo : @kimsdahyun ) subject: jeonghan’s bff

HI MY MOST BELOVED ZAY !!! over the last couple of months we’ve gotten sm closer and i just love hearing ab u talk about our fav sebongs and ps stuff && everything you’re passionate about. you’re genuinely one of the most fun and funny people i know and i adore you so much <3 love u love u love u jeonghans wife 💖💖💖💖 MY MOST AESTHETIC PRETTIEST QUEEN !!!!!

to: dana ( @lesseraive ) subject: chaewon = loml = the only girl ever

dana!!!! i still cannot believe its only been … a little more than a year? since we became mutuals 😭 you’re the best. i love shittalking w you, talking about our girls (jangchae) and how izone deserved and deserves better (we miss u izone) (u are forever) (never izgone) . you’re like an older sister to me and i feel like i can talk to you about anything. thank you for being here and being my friend, i love youuuu <3 jeonghyeon p01

to: elv ( @seokmins ) subject: seokmin’s pizza girl !

elvvvvv <3 tbh we’ve talked to about this before but i think the most funny part of our friendship is me not remembering how we met HSKFBSJSK i know that we were both mutuals in laws through isai but honestly it feels like we’ve been mutuals for like ….. ever. you are so sweet and lively it feels like we are just two sunshines together in a field of sunflowers whenever we talk 😭 you make me smile whenever you come up on the dash and you deserve all of the love in the entire world <3 sending my squishiest hugs your way! 💗

to: mini ( @venompinks ) subject: #1 blackpink lover

MINI MINI MINI !!!! hi beloved <3 tbh ive always seen u as like an older sibling to me. you have rhsi comforting vibe that just emulates love & support and i adore that. i love seeing ur creations && support towards ur favs (esp the pinks hehe) and ur so so so lovely!!!! sending u all the squishiest hugs in the whole wide WORLD !!!!!

to: theo ( @lovebitxx ) subject: chaer’s #1 <3

THEO THEO THEO THEO !!!!! i remember you following me during your lixblr era and feeling so :OOO bc that was pre gg blog and i was like wowowow bc all of your creations are so pretty 😭😭😭 im so happy we’ve gotten closer and u always make me smile and just seeing u on my dash and talking to u makes me so happyyyyy!! you’re so passionate about your favs and its always so nice to see you get excited about them ): i love youuuu so much 💗

to: daisy ( @svmit ) subject: juhyeon’s bf ( REAL ! )

MY DAISYYYYY i love you!!!! getting to know you have been soso fun and im so glad to know you 🥹🥹🥹 you’re genuinely so sweet and adorable and i want to squeeze u into the tightest hug 🫂 my fav lightsum && ptg stan 4ever!!!!! 💞💞💞

to: shreya ( @fawad-khan : @kiimtaehyung ) subject: tae’s wife & hyunjin’s gf 🎀🎀🎀

my most beloved shreya!!!!! hi akka i love u to the moon and back and beyond 💞💞💞💞 its kinda crazy to think a year ago we barely knew each other and now we’ve both celebrated our birthdays and waaaaaa it feels insane. i feel like. you’re genuinely someone i see as my older sister and i want to hug you so bad and. YEAAAA the momo to my sana i love youu <3 also thanks for teaching me that andrew garfield is a real person 😁 mwah

to: theo ( @toplines ) subject: best jeongyeon stan!!!!

HI MY LOVELIEST THEO!!!!! I ADORE U HEHE thank u for being one of the silliest most funny most genuine people in my life u are quite literally the kuromi to my melody, the jeongyeon to my sana and i lov u lots!!!!! u are the best ever and u deserve all the love and moreeee 💞💞💞💞 hehe ALSO U ARE THEEEE GFX ICON OF ALL TIME

to: lau ( @saerom : @127s ) subject: saerom’s biggest fan (real)

HI LAUUUUU hehe i know we havent been close for that long (i think we met in userps i dont even remember if im being honest) but you’ve always been someone i look up to. you have this ability to like. stay calm and handle difficult situations with ease and are so funny and fun to talk to!!!! ilu a lot and u are genuinely the sweetest ever <3333 also u are THEEEE URL QUEEN !!!!! never forget !!!!! hugs !!!! 💞💞💞💞💞

to: hales ( @3rachaas ) subject: changbins wife confirmed!!!

HALES HALES HALES HI !!! u are the funniest person ever actually genuinely seriously 100%ly (how many more adverbs can shri use,, more at ten) u are my east coast bestie and i love playimg games with u even if u win every single time 😓😓😓 ILY SOOO MUCH i wish i could hug u sososoososososo bad <////3 mwah!!!! also u are my fav 3racha stan 4ever (edit i hate tumblr ANYWAYS i miss our uno game nights can we have one again) (also hales edit era we miss u) (ilyilyilyilyily)

to: lee ( @komca ) subject: komcanation ‼️ mark’s wife

hi mother 😁😁 u are my favorite mark stan 😁😁 i lov u 😁😁 no in actuality i love u sm lee u are one of the most understanding kindest most funniest most amazing person ever u just. deserve all the love in the world!!!!! i love ur markisms and ur love for rnb and just how passionate u are about ur hobbies and interests!!!! adore u to the moon and back I LOVE U SMMMM HEHE MY ILICHIL LOVER IN CRIMEEEE 💜💜💜

to: naina ( @tutontawan ) subject: sakura’s wife 💞

sunshine wifey! HI MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER the hello kitty to my melo, kkura to my eunchae, gaeul to my wonyo, i adore u sooooo much u are quite literally my twin in every aspect and i love uuuuuu!!!!!! u are just the most sunshiney person to ever sunshine and never fail to make me smile and happyyyy I LOVE UUUUU MY FAV i cant wait to meet u one day <3

to: ace ( @ajusnice ) subject: my maknaez in crime <3

ACE ACE ACE ACE ACE ACE HELLO HI my fav gose watching partner hehe <3 no but actually its kinda bizarre how we havent been friends for a year but it feels so much. longer idk 😓😓 thank u for being sososoaoao supportive u always make me laugh and whether its u berating me over using light mode or screaming over junshua its never a boring day when we talk 🥹 im glad to have u as my friend and ILYSM!!!!!! 💞💞💞💞💞

i hope all of you had the happiest new years and hope that 2024 is our best years yet!!! love all of you sooooo much and thank you once again ♡♡♡♡♡

[grandwretch]

ok let me talk about the steddie sentinel au I wanna write bc like. its all I can fucking think about yk

alright so. I want it to be closer to show canon bc the shows origins have really been like. lost in the fanfic trope of it all which is cool and all but i think that making it show canon could be so delicious.

and like its set a decade before the show right so it would be like. blair's research into sentinels and guides would have never been published, so it's a great way to have something weird and terrifying happen to steve and NO ONE ELSE IN PUBLISHED HISTORY has been through it before so its really up to the Party to figure it out.

so I'm thinking that Steve comes "online" while in the Upside Down. because that's the most stress he's ever been in AND I think its what his instincts would see most as a survival/tribal situation like. he has three people he has to protect and he's literally in a blighted hell dimension and also if he doesn't take care of everyone, Max will die and, oh yeah, he has no proof that Jonathan, El, Will, and Mike aren't already dead.

He chalks the random oversensitivity to stress and wounds. Its not until he's in his hospital room that he realizes he can hear Eddie's heartbeat from across the hall. He yanks the IV out of his arm and goes to find Dustin.

After that, I think there's like a huge squabble about Steve's "powers" and whether or not they're real and what they mean. Steve doesn't think of them as powers, he doesn't think they compare to El at all and they're functionally useless. "I can't SMELL a demogorgon to death, Dustin." Robin freaks out and wonders if Steve is a vessel like Will now, but they all dismiss it because Will got weaker, not faster and stronger. Eddie practically climbs inside Steve's mouth looking for fangs.

El quietly asks if Steve is from a lab, too. Steve says his dad is pretty awful, but he's not an evil mad scientist sponsored by the government or whatever.

So they undergo a series of stress tests, trying to find the outer limits of what Steve can do. Hopper gets surprisingly into the whole thing, sending Steve through drills and training that he picked up in the military. Steve's Sentinel powers come to him much more smoothly than Jim, simply because he has a much more structured regimen, and less near death experiences while he gets used to his new senses.

Steve fucking hates it. He hates feeling like a science experiment, and he hates running stupid obstacle courses and letting El throw things at him to test his reaction time. He hates how his entire stupid life has become about this... thing that's happened to him, thats not even that useful, because its not like he's stronger. He's just a better fighter for a human, which isn't going to do much against Vecna.

Even worse, he had to quit his job, because turning all his senses up to 11 has made retail impossible. The blend of perfumes and body odor gives him headaches, he can't stand being able to hear every fucking conversation in the store, and the fluorescent lights hurt his eyes.

Throughout it all, the Munson's trailer is kind of a refuge. After Eddie finally accepted that Steve wasn't some kind of sexy vampire here to seduce their souls away, he dismissed whatever was happening to Steve as boring. So Steve feels like a fucking human again with Eddie, and-- Okay, Eddie is loud and grating and always smells like weed, but those things were already annoying before Steve was like this. He's used to tuning it out, so its almost comforting to be surrounded by them.

Besides, everything the Munsons own is well worn and soft, not like the textures of his own home, more pleasing to the eye than the skin. And if Steve asks very nicely, Eddie will play his acoustic; sweet, soft melodies that don't hurt Steve's ears like the radio does.

(Unbeknownst to Steve, Eddie learns all his favorite songs in a flurry of tapes. He replaces all the soap and detergent in the house with the fancy kind meant for people with allergies. He spends so much money Steve-proofing his place, but he never complains once. He never wants Steve to leave again.)

But the Munson trailer can't stop the worst of it, which is Steve's unbearable need to protect. He already had a superhero complex, but now its even worse. If he goes too long without doing something active, there's an itch under his skin that he can't shake. So he has to venture out again, back to Hoppers' canon for more stupid tests, or patrolling around the town until even his improved stamina falters.

Thats how he zones, the first time. He's roaming through the streets when he hears Dustin and Lucas up in Dustin's room, laughing at some movie. He focuses on the sound of their laughter for a little too long, and suddenly thats all he can hear. Thats all he can feel at all, actually, just their voices. It consumes him.

They find him like that when Lucas goes to leave, hours later. Standing in the Henderson's yard, bat in hand, unmoving. They call everyone, but Eddie gets there first, driving like the devil is after him. He freaks out, understandably, but Dustin calms him with the facts that Steve's eyes haven't rolled, and he's been gone for who knows how long without floating, so its probably not Vecna.

Eddie doesn't feel better.

They try every song on every tape Steve owns. He flinches at a few louder ones, but nothing works. Eventually, Hopper and Jonathan manage to get Steve into a car, his body unresponsive in their hands.

Robin wants to take him to the hospital, but Nancy tells her, softly, that it might alert the wrong people to Steve's condition. What wouldn't the American military do for a body with improved reflexes and speed, who can see and avoid a speeding bullet, and hear the heartbeats of his enemies? They take him to the trailer, because Eddie insists that he and Wayne will be able to take care of Steve. They know what he likes, what triggers him, better than people who do it on purpose.

The worry makes Eddie maybe a little meaner than he means to be.

When they get him home, Eddie wraps Steve up in all his favorite blankets, ones that smell like them both and Wayne's favorite cigarettes. He kisses Steve's forehead and sits next to him on the bed, playing his acoustic and singing all Steve's favorite songs. He knows they didn't work before, but he doesn't know what else to do, and if he just has to watch Steve lay there, he'll cry.

Its the first time, and he's been stuck so long it takes him forever to find his way out, but eventually Steve surfaces. His eyes blink into focus and he swallows around a dry throat.

Steve looks at Eddie, the man who Guided him out of the deep, dark well of his own mind.

"What'd I miss?"

[chemistryread]

she is both hellfire and holy water

- part VI

jake seresin

callsign: scorcher

part V

part IV

disclaimers/tags: female!reader!aviator. loverboy jake is vengeful. slowburn and angst.

word count: 5.2k

a/n: sorry again for the late update! i've been in a low mood and it reflects a bit on this chapter and the next, which i'm planning on posting very soon in a .5 type of chapter to make up for how long it took me to post again. anyway, as always please lmk your thoughts :)

tagging: @thedroneranger @shanimallina87 @peakascum @cherrycola27 @iwantmyredvelvetcupcake @untoldshortsofthefandoms @thecraziestcrayon @lovingperfectionsblog @cornishkat @is-this-a-febreze-commercial @murdermornings @loveforaugust @scoopsr0bin @secretsicanthideanymore @sarcasm-n-insomnia

In the morning, Maverick wakes everyone up even earlier than they had hoped was necessary, for a surprise flight session.

"Where's Lieutenant Seresin?"

"Late, sir. He didn't come back to base last night."

Your eyes fall to the ground at Coyote's sentence.

You had a feeling, when he wasn't in the room being annoyingly good at waking up early. Another mark on the long list of things he excels at. But Rooster had distracted you long enough not to delve into it.

Turns out the idiot slept in his car. Roof down, parked under the bright morning light. His sunburn likening him to a lobster, he looked positively ridiculous.

"He'll pay for that when he gets here. Scorcher." Pete looks sorrowful. Penny must have told him about the kiss. You probably look like you're going to vomit. "You're my backseater today."

This is the best and fastest cure for your moral hangover. Up in the air, with Maverick.

It's more than honorable to sit behind Captain Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell, it's fullfilling. Every time you do, it feels like your life has purpose again.

After your WSO didn't survive an ejection, a lot of things went through your mind. One of which was never piloting another jet. Maverick took the spot in the back of your plane numerous times after the accident just so you could feel comfortable, believe in your own skills again.

It warranted a lot of patience from both of you, but he was right, it is what you're born to do. Actually, you don't know what else you're good at. So you'll forever be grateful for him taking time with a random student still in her academy days to make sure you at least tried to reach your potential.

Being his backseater is no chore, he's the most obvious natural talent you've ever met, which grants you the extraordinary experience of being able to watch your friend Pete do what he loves most without barely having to turn your neck.

The session goes smoothly, except for Phoenix and Bob underperforming. Off the comms, you tell Mav not to worry about it, you'll talk to Trace.

To your displeasure, you're not quite done yet.

"Good morning, everybody. Your entertainment is here, you can all wake up."

"Is that- Oh God."

"Not God, Payback. Just me. You should look up, though, I'm right above you. Wave back."

Your body slumps back on the seat, a helpless reaction to hearing his voice when you were hoping to avoid him for a few more hours, at least.

"Hangman, do not engage!"

That's weird. Your hands squeeze the straps, sitting up to look at the Captain, absorbing the exasperated language of his body.

"Excuse me, sir? I've got a lock!"

In trying to escape his jet, Payback found himself exactly where Jake wanted him.

"That's not the point. You're not a little late, training is nearly over! You get no flying time today, that's an ord-"

"Maverick, I'm here now! If I don't get these hours in-"

"That's it, no air time for two days." The comms are quiet, and you push the small mic away, putting a hand on your pilot's shoulder. Mav. "I repeat, Lieutenant Seresin, you're out."

"Captain, sir. It's eleven-hundred, there's at least-"

"I'm aware, Scorcher." You wince at his lack of composure, retreating when he addresses everyone again. "Everybody else, push harder. I'm not seeing enough out of you today."

The next fifty minutes are grueling, Maverick incessantly chasing every pilot out of their comfort zone. You're happy to sit behind him, speaking only when he asks you to.

No one complains, but you know they're simply holding back in front of their instructor. Sweaty and tense when they return to the ground.

You walk in front of Pete, catching Nat's 'thanks, Bagman' as she goes past the blonde. Jake is obediently waiting for Maverick's scolding, helmet in front of his body, head held high.

He only falters when you send him a sympathetic smile.

Even if he hides it well, you're aware that your old friend is someone Seresin has learned to admire, consequently looking for his approval.

When Rooster was picked for the uranium mission, you were equally proud and apprehensive for your friend. But your smile had dropped once your eyes landed on Hangman. It was a split-second slip up, his shoulders deflating before immediately raising again with a deep inhale, and you caught it.

You were watching him when you should've been looking at your actual friends, who had just been assigned to a major mission. Fascinated by his failure to hide the disappointment in his eyes, regardless of the rest of his body posing as unphased. Wondering how often he has to piece himself together with that same quickness.

Walking with a stupid grin on your face, the memory of the conversation you had hits you like a truck.

"Hey."

Basket of laundry supported by your hips, greeting soft on your lips before they return to the more common and less friendly thin line.

He stood in front of the washing machine in use, absentmindedly eating Oreos, correcting his posture when you come in and it pulls a discreet chuckle from you. Squinting at his furrowed brows and tense facial expressions.

Quietly dropping your clothes into the empty machine, the only sound in the room is that of the cycle starting.

"You know, Phoenix and Bob's chemistry is a huge strike of luck, silly not to take advantage of it. I think any of us could've done a good job as Mav's wingman, but it feels like Rooster's time."

Placating words, hoping they'll smother your anxieties over not being picked as much as his.

"With all due respect, Scorcher, I don't need a pep talk."

You snort.

"Oh, I'm aware, neither do I. Pep talks tend to be super gross and condescending. But I don't think sulking is very helpful, is it?" He raises an eyebrow and motions with the packet to you. You take one, shrugging. "All I'm saying is…it's not our mission. There'll be others."

"Cute way to think, a little too positive though. I can't wait for the next mission every time. And if it never comes?"

"Impossible." You turn and jump up to sit on top of the washing machine. "We're both way too good."

"We?"

Licking the chocolate off your teeth, you take a deep breath, humming as if you're considering it.

"I can admit you're top three."

"Three? Sweetheart, please-"

A groan escapes your lips, exaggeratedly loud and he jumps, but there's a surprised smile on his lips.

"Immediately, I'm taking it back." His brows furrow, still amused, and you nod your head. "Yeah, I was just trying to make you feel better anyway, you're definitely struggling to catch up to Roo and Trace. And I haven't even mentioned myself yet."

He's playing with the stack of cookies in his hand, eventually shoving another one in his mouth, and you take the opportunity to watch him. Slow and close.

"I do like your flying."

"You like it?"

"I respect it."

"Oh, wow. Consider me honored."

Somehow, you found yourselves looking directly into each other's eyes. Yours widen just a little, impatient.

"It's fast but quiet. Sneaks up on you, leaves an impact behind. Impressive. So why didn't Mitchell pick you?"

There it is. The reason he even started to compliment you.

"Maverick doesn't play favorites. If he picked Bradley, it's because he belives his abilities are the ones he needs."

He scoffs. "That's naive of you. C'mon, you've aced all the tests up to now, shouldn't this mission be yours?"

"Thank you, Seresin, for your unmitigated support. I know, apparently as much as you do, that I could've done this mission. But it's not me. There's still a job to do down here, to make sure all of them make it back, that's what I'm thinking about. And that's what you should be thinking about as well." Back on the ground, you turn to him from the doorway. "Let it go. Whining makes you look amateur."

Nose twisting up, remembering how mean you've been to him before. Not undeserved.

"Scorcher," Pete calling for you snaps you back into reality. He's a few steps behind, Jake in between you. "Nice job today."

Your eyes squint at the sun, shy under the praise and in front of Hangman.

"Didn't really do anything, but it was my pleasure."

"Yeah, you did." Blinking at him, he only nods. "I'm down for a repeat, anytime."

"Me too, sir."

Smiling, you refrain from asking Mav to go easy on the aviator watching your interaction, instead averting your eyes to the ground and walking away.

When you woke up this morning, things were much clearer in your mind. Jake's not the problem, you are. There's no reason to be upset with him.

Truth is, as much as it made you cry, you can also acknowledge it was a mess of your own creation. You told him it was a mistake. Sure, you didn't expect him to go straight into another woman's arms, but it would happen eventually. You're just…speedrunning the process.

Until you actually say something, he can do whatever he wants.

But would you dare? And what would be the plan? Explain that, yes, you very much like him but simultaneously you do not want to do anything about it because you're scared he won't tolerate you for long?

Your sober thoughts also led to the conclusion that you're way past the point of worrying whether or not he reciprocates your feelings. That kiss was heavy with meaning, and you got along fine. It's not too much of a leap to assume he could see an angle where he has some fun. Your worries now lie in the unraveling of yourself.

What follows is a brutal shedding of layers you have comfortably hidden under for as long as you can remember, taking your balled fists out of your pocket in the cold and opening them to ask. With no guarantee that you will be invited to a warm home.

He'll be able to see all of the vices that make you squirm and scratch at your skin because of how much you wish you could rid yourself of them. Then he's gonna ask, why don't you change? And you'll resent him for suggesting the obvious, and yourself for not already being better.

Jake is the rare kind that might sincerely make you want to do the work. Adapt. But are you worth sticking through it for? Change is difficult, and you're resistant.

The way it is - alone - works for you. It's not sad and it's not painful. If you did change, it would be for him. And when he saw what a hard time you have taking care of yourself, putting effort, how comfortable it is for you to stick to what you already know, well…He'll want to leave. And you'll see it coming, and you'll lay the ground for it, making sure he does just that.

A guttural experience. Maybe you could spare both of you from it.

It's late afternoon when you finally catch Natasha alone, fixing herself some yogurt in the kitchen.

"That was some dogshit flying you did today."

Near black eyes bore into you with the harsh intensity to shut anyone else down, but you only scoot closer against the counter, reminding her you don't scare easy.

"What do you want?"

"We can talk about your embarrassing performance or the reason why you're off."

"Rooster."

You can't help but cackle when the name slips out of her gritted teeth like a vexed old lady. She's ready to stomp on your foot like a child.

"Sorry, it's just, you said it like Josh from Drake and Josh, when he used to say Megan, have you ever- Ok. Nevermind. Please talk to me."

"Scorcher, I really don't feel like-"

"I already know you two hooked up last night. You just have to tell me what happened after."

Natasha drops everything and pulls you away from the door.

"How do you know that?"

"A secret for a secret?" She nods, and you look around the room, extending your neck to make sure no one is in the hallway either. "Hangman and I saw the two of you but I didn't want to interrupt, so I just shoved him in the bathroom."

A weird sound, something in between laughter and disgust, rumbles from her throat.

"Rooster was right? You were together in there!"

"And you were sucking face in Penny's hallway with her boyfriend's favorite child, so cut down the judgement, Ice Queen."

She ignores you.

"How did you get to that? What were you doing before? Jesus, did something happen between you two?"

"I asked first."

Groaning, Phoenix reaches back for her yogurt, sticking a spoonful inside of her mouth before conceding.

"Okay, so after you saw us, we sneaked out to his car. We were, uhm, in the middle of it, when his phone kept buzzing. I asked who it was and he lied. Said it was Mickey asking where he was."

"Who was it?"

"Some girl. She ended up calling him. We just stared at each other, and eventually, I pushed him off. I don't know why. Cut to us screaming at each other for ten minutes while I waited for my Uber."

"He shouldn't have lied." No shit, she says. "But you two are idiots. I mean, he didn't pick up the phone or call her back. Came straight back to base. No, he only dates those girls because he's too scared to ask you out, and even more afraid of being alone. And you're too scared to ask him if he really likes them more than you, since he always seems to pick them - even though clearly he doesn't. And it's all stupid, because if you did ask that he would tell you that no, he doesn't and you could be together. Boom, happy ending."

Her arms cross in front of her body, eyebrows raising at your audacity.

"Fine, smart-ass. You sound like you've got it all figured out. Why don't you tell me what happened with you? What's your secret?"

"Hangman kissed me."

"What the f-" You shush her and she punches the table, channeling her shock into it and almost knocking spoons and cups to the floor. This would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic. "You didn't…"

"No, of course not. It was just a kiss."

"And?"

Your eyes fall on the counter, zoning out as you force yourself not to crumble at the memory.

"It was…really good. Then, Rooster knocked on the door and I found my perfect excuse to run."

"Right. But he made the move?"

"You know I wouldn't."

If it were necessary, you'd keep these feelings for Seresin forever quiet. If he doesn't know, he can't reject you. Trace knows this, which is why she only nods.

"Wait, where was he this morning? Oh, Scorch."

You still haven't blinked, and it stings. So focused on it, your voice becomes quieter.

"Yeah, the guys had a bet and- It's not important."

"They're assholes." You consider defending at least Rooster, for the sake of whatever they have, but there's no energy in you for it. Nat's hands find yours. "How are you holding up?"

A shrug.

"Just kinda wish it never happened. Don't have to finish something that never started, you know? But, uhm, ultimately I don't see it going any other way."

It always ends, you don't get what you want. Because how dare you ask for anything, how dare you want?

"Scorcher, he kissed you."

"Tasha, Hangman kisses a lot of people. We had been drinking, in a place that feels cozier than The Hard Deck. Who knows, maybe he saw Penny and Mav being so close and he felt lonely. It doesn't mean anything."

"Look, I trust him less than you do, obviously. But Jake is not one to act without thinking. He's methodical, even when he's being a dick. I don't see him as the type of guy to start something and not finish it."

That's a great point. But he is not the problem.

"It can only end in disaster."

"For the record, I think you can do better." If only she knew Seresin thinks the same about her and Rooster. "But you don't know that. Maybe it'll be fine. Or it'll be a disaster and I'll be personally very pleased to see you break his heart."

You scoff.

"Think it'd be the other way around."

"Then I'll have a perfect excuse to kick his ass." You stare at each other without anything to say, and she rolls her eyes, reluctantly supportive. "Jesus, Scorcher, you like him. That ship has sailed, it's pretty obvious. Why not give it a shot?"

"Tasha, I'm a mess. I'm so scared to ruin things that I end up making sure it'll end badly. And it's okay when it's a stranger that I can avoid for the rest of my life, but he is more complicated than a stranger. I don't- I don't want him to know that I'm a catastrophe, and I don't want to bring him down with me. I think we both can do better than that."

She puts down the yogurt and crosses her arms, and you feel uncomfortable with the air of seriousness this conversation has taken.

"I wanna kick you in the crotch right now, I swear. He's a big boy, he can handle it." You start to protest but she cuts you off. "No, Scorch, you'll forgive me for saying this later but you're acting like a coward under the guise of righteousness. Fine, you're a mess. You think Seresin isn't? We're all a little fucked up in here, you just haven't noticed because you're busy putting yourself down. My point is, you seem to respect Seresin but you have no plans of telling him how you feel and letting him decide for himself what he wants to do? It doesn't add up."

You'd be shutting this down if she wasn't so accurately on point. You're overlooking Jake's ability to have a say in the matter, mostly because you know he would have choice words for you and you're too scared to find out which direction they'll take.

Sighing, you look back at her with a defeated expression, leaning your elbows on the counter and your head on your hands.

"I can't just gamble with this, Nat, I don't know how to recover when I'm hurt. I've never- I've never done any healing in my life, I just keep going. But I'm afraid these feelings are too much, and I'll never be the same after. I don't know how many times I can still pick myself up."

Her voice is as serene as the ocean in the earliest hours of the morning.

"Here, you don't tell me much but I know relationships aren't your strongest suit. You never know if you're going to be okay after them. But what a waste to have felt something and not have done anything about it, don't you think? We're human, Scorcher, we are not immune to hurt but we heal. It's what we do. You'll be fine."

Oh, she's good. You smile weakly.

"Why can't we follow our own advice, though?"

"That's also something people do. Be stupidly stubborn."

When the laughing dies down, she speaks again.

"One more thing."

"Hm?"

She leans in with a hand on your shoulder, whispering in your ear.

"You're not alone."

When she punches you in the side, a little too hard, your eyes raise to find Jake entering the kitchen.

"Phoenix."

He nods as she bumps him, saying only "Irresponsible asshole."

Confused eyes look back at you and you can't help but snort, hiding your face even further into your palms.

"Can't catch a break today."

You almost feel sorry for him. What a softened mush he has made of your heart.

"How bad was the talking?"

"Believe it or not, Maverick is not great at expressing himself. Something you two have in common, I believe?"

Feeling the twist of your lips, you squint at him. "Hey, what did I do?"

"Darlin', you're extremely confusing."

"About something specific or just in general?"

"In general."

"Mhm, or your brain has no more space for comprehension skills after you filled it up with thoughts of yourself only?"

"All I heard was skill." He flashes a smile to you, running a hand across your back as he steps behind you to get to the fridge. You watch his arms as he picks up a water bottle. "Anyway, won't be doing any flying tomorrow."

"I hope it was worth it."

It wasn't meant to be said out loud. You can see thin lines in his forehead making a curve into the brigde of his nose, and he looks almost embarrassed.

Recovering, you throw him a faint but well-meaning smile.

Your eyes follow the movement of his Adam's apple as he drinks. You hate his tanned skin, the great way a standard Navy shirt falls over his broad shoulders, his gorgeous neck hugged by the dog tags and a golden chain.

Breaking out of the dangerous slippery slope of desiring Hangman, you tap the counter and start to walk away.

"Wait, where are you going?"

If you didn't know any better, you would say he sounds needy.

"Cyclone's not here today. Maybe I can change Maverick's mind about your hours before the big guy is informed."

Halfway to the door when his voice stops you.

"Geez, that kiss must have been out of this world if you're goin' to bargain to our superiors for me."

With your head thrown back, your laugh bounces off the walls. Turning, you expect him to be standing there in all his glory, smug and smirking. And he is, but he changes his footing once your eyes meet his, an instance of insecurity before his chin is high in the air again.

"It was." Non-chalant, twisting your nose in reluctant concession. "But I think I did most of the work."

Weird when you don't hear the expected chuckle, meeting his green orbs again. An awkward second before you smile and move to the door again.

"Scorch-" Music to your ears. "Are we good?"

He looks unsure, and you tilt your head dramatically.

"Of course."

With a hand around the doorframe, you give him one last smile.

You find Pete in the library, looking over photos of his own Top Gun class.

"Hey, Captain. Mind if I-"

He shuts the book quickly, foot pushing a chair by his side away from the table and asking you to sit.

"Hangman, I assume?"

Still in a mood. You sigh, making a point to scrape the chair against the floor as you sit, inching closer to him.

"I'm not gonna try too hard to defend him, but he was late, Mav. Happened to all of us at some point, and no one had a punishment this bad. What was that about?"

It's not usual for him to let personal things interfere in his judgement.

"I wasn't actually going to scrap his air time tomorrow. I already reported his lateness to Warlock, nothing else. But I saw your face in the reflection of the cockpit when he showed up this morning. He needed a little public ear pulling, that's all."

You smile at him.

"Penny told you?"

"Yes. And I know I shouldn't get involved, it's your life, but sweetheart…You're only gonna get hurt this way."

"Seeing it through could be so much worse."

"Could be. Or-"

"Maverick, what happens when it all burns down in flames?"

His hands are wringing together on top of the table, licking his lips, in deep thought.

"Remember what you told me, years ago? We were flying together, and I asked you what it felt like. You said it was a ceaseless twisting in your stomach. I had to show you that it wasn't fear of another accident. No, it was restraint. You were holding back from being a pilot because you thought you didn't deserve to be one anymore. Deep down, you knew it wasn't true, and that feeling was your body saying you were wrong. Take the plunge. You know you want to. You know it's right. Sweetheart, no matter how persistently you've been made to believe otherwise due to circumstance or bad luck, you do deserve good things. Your instinct is one of the best the Dagger Squad has to offer. If it's dependable enough to make you a decorated Lieutenant, why shouldn't you listen to it now?"

Pete's words coddle your heart in a way you haven't felt in many years. To be seen and thoroughly understood by someone you admire, and are lucky enough to call a friend, is something you never thought would happen to you. Too damn sheltered to let others appreciate anything about you.

Biting your lip to distract you from the tears pooling in your eyes, you ask him quietly, "Can I give you a hug?"

He laughs, looking around the empty library before opening his arms.

His hold is strong, and he smells like rain on hot asphalt and worn leather, comforting.

The twisting deep inside that Maverick had magically guessed you were feeling returns, and you lean back.

"I already told him the kiss was a mistake."

"Take it back, tell him the truth. Life's too short."

Both of you glance at the decaying photo album on top of the table.

"If I do, you'll go easy on him tomorrow?"

"No promises."

On your way back to your dorm, you spot Javy in the rec room, reading a book.

"Hey, Coyote, is Jake in his room?"

"Pretty sure, yes."

"Right, thank you."

Your heart is racing, worried it might come out of your mouth and drop to the floor this far away from the medical bay.

Knocking on the door, you hope it's the right one, and that no one else comes out of their rooms for a few minutes.

Jake opens it fully dressed in fancy clothes, hair done a little differently. Less gel, more hangy. Funny. It suits him too well.

"Scorch?"

And you're back.

"Hey, sorry to bother, ran into Javy and he said you were here."

He leans on the frame, sweet perfume no cheaper than- More than you could know.

"It's our room, so."

"'Course." You know you're staring, but your mouth is too dry for you to speak yet. The pressure from clear green eyes might just force you. "Uh, right, I talked to Mav. You're flying tomorrow, like usual. Well, maybe not like usual, he might ride you a little harder but it won't last. You know it never does."

"Thanks, you didn't have to."

"I didn't do anything. All he reported was your late arrival, he was never going to jeopardize your flying time." He hums, letting his gaze finally turn away, watching his hand shake the doorknob absentmindedly. It's a huge relief, more oxygen flowing to your brain now. "Might need to avoid being late again, though."

He tsks, pearly white teeth shining in the dimly lit hallway.

"That'll be hard. This girl is a partier, she keeps me up late."

The twist in your stomach turns the opposite direction, sinking.

"Oh. From last night? You're going out again?"

Idiot. That's why he looks and smells this good. It's for her.

"No such thing as too much fun, right?"

"I wouldn't know."

You snort at your own melancholy. He's about to enjoy a night out and you sound like the biggest downer in the Navy. Smooth.

"Maybe she has a friend. We could go on a double date and show you a good time."

A smile, teasing and borderline mean. Well, to you. In his mind, it's probably the nicest thing he could do.

Tell him not to go. That's all you have to do. Take it back, tell him the truth.

"Jake-"

His Apple Watch pings, eyes adjusting to the sudden brightness. Must be her.

"Hm?"

He moves around the room to grab his wallet and a jacket. It feels like you have no air in your lungs.

"C-Can we talk about the kiss?"

Your eyes are screwed shut, the defeaning silence almost too much to handle.

"Now?"

Risking a look, you find him frozen in the center of the room, head turned but hands still holding the closet door halfway open. It's been a while since you felt this stupid around a man.

Your mouth opens and you stutter. "You're right. Terrible timing."

"The worst." It's barely humorous, both of you chuckling awkwardly but when your eyes meet it's uncomfortable. "You said we were good."

"No, we are-" Fingertips come up to pinch the bridge of your nose, and you shake your head. "We are. I just thought we should- You know what? We don't have to do this now, go on your date first."

You want to scream.

"Are you sure?"

No. I want to ask you to stay but those words have never not bitten me back, so I can't do it, I'm sorry.

Lip trapped in between your teeth, you nod. "Yeah. She's probably already waiting for you, right? See, there you go. It's not that big of a deal, really."

He thinks for a second, before another ping comes from the watch and he seems to wake up, quickly moving around the room again.

With a light teasing tone, but still awkward, he makes the offer again. "I can still ask her if she has a friend."

Nausea strikes and you roll your eyes, the only defense you have left.

"Hard pass."

"Your loss."

"Different perspectives. Do yourself a favor and don't be late tomorrow, alright?" You're turning back the way you came, before popping your head inside the room again. "And take the Apple Watch off, you look stupid."

You leave an annoyed Hangman alone with fast and determined steps. God, you wish you didn't take self-preservation so seriously.

If they're seeing each other again, the next day, he must've liked something about her. So, what, you're just gonna hand him over? Steps halting, you consider turning back until you realize you're already in the rec room.

Javy still reading his book, Tasha and Bob eating grapes on the couch, all eyes on your distressed self.

Throwing yourself in between the duo, you delight in the seedless, sweet fruit. Probably too much, because the man to your left is staring.

"I'm sorry, Floyd, are you jealous of the grapes? Did I breach your monogamous relationship with them? No? So quit looking."

Phoenix stifles a giggle, very poorly, and leans closer.

"Wanna talk ab-"

"Nope."

"Alright."

One minute later, Jake runs through the room, grabbing a Redbull from the fridge.

"How's the hair?"

"She saw it worse than that in the morning - speaking from experience - so it's fine."

Trace lifts her head from your shoulder, glancing up at Hangman and Coyote, then you.

"See you when I see you!"

"Don't be late!"

Javy yells but he's already out the door.

The warm hands around your bicep curl tighter, and you lean your head on top of hers.

Maybe some things need to change. If you can't take it back to the way it was, and you can't deal with the silly little suffering from watching Jake run off to a date, you might have to do something about it.

[bangtaninborderland]

Risk It All (29) - Point Of No Return

Genre: chishiya x f!Reader | angst | eventual smut

Warning: mentions of shooting and death

A/N: theres around 15-20 chapters left (ive wrote 11 of them)

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You all reentered the house as the blimp disappeared further into the city, the light atmosphere gone and replaced with something a little more solemn.

“We should get ready.” An sighs, rubbing Kuina's arms.

You could tell it was hard for the both of them, of course it was. It was no longer the worry of surviving in a game but ensuring those that you love survived too. You had experienced that before with Chishiya, albeit you hadn’t been in many games together but the ones you had are by far the ones you found to be the hardest.

Facing death was terrifying but facing death for yourself and those you love?

It was crippling, a torturous experience that no one should ever go through.

“I’ll go and shower, get all this off.” She gestures to her face, leaving the room quietly without looking at you.

An waits until the water starts to talk to you. “She feels bad for leaving you here alone.”

“I’ll be fine.” You reassure her, that wasn’t important right now. Yes, you would worry but realistically they were the ones about to be in a dire situation. “How are you feeling about joining another game?”

She shakes her head, focusing her attention on cleaning up the makeup. “I don’t think about it, I just do what I have to do and hope to make it out of the other side. I think logically so I know allowing myself to grow overly emotional is going to prevent me being able to be who I need to be to walk out of that game unscathed.”

You marvelled at her strength. “And what about Kuina? Do you think she will be okay?”

“I think that I’ll make sure she is okay.” An doesn’t sound mean but you can tell she’s serious. “I’m very grateful for the sanctuary you have given us here.”

“You’re always welcome here, I hope you come back after the game ends.” You smile sadly. “It will be too quiet without you both.”

“We will be back.” Even if you don’t believe it you can tell from her tone that she does and that’s a hope you won’t take away from her.

“I know you will. I think you should go and check on her.” You can tell from the way An looks back at the bathroom door that she wants to.

“Are you sure?” She worries. “You’ll be okay to clean this up?”

You make a noise of affirmation. “I will, I’ll pack a bag for you with everything you’ll need.”

“You’re a godsend.” She squeezes your shoulder before slipping past you, quickly disappearing into the room Kuina was preparing in.

You busied yourself with cleanup duty, wanting everything to be perfect for whenever they came back and had the chance to give each other makeovers once again. Your sister's necklace weighed around your neck as a heavy reminder of what it was like to lose family but in a way it was comforting, you were sure that she would be protecting you from wherever her soul may be.

You couldn’t help but wonder what she would think about the strange bonds you’d formed with those you’d fought for life besides, knowing her she would applaud you for being able to find the best in even the worst of times. You felt warm inside at the thought she would be proud of you.

At least you hoped she would be.

Despite the lack of clocks you’d gotten good at guesstimating the time, even if the days did pass by differently here you were sure night was drawing in.

You silently packed an old rucksack you’d found, filling it with medical supplies and food, some extra clothing and a flick knife that Chishiya had stashed away in a draw. You’d given them all you could whilst ensuring there would be enough for everyone once they returned.

“Hey,” Kuina mumbled from the doorway. “Sorry for rushing off earlier.”

“It’s fine.” You waved her off. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah, An Is just getting dressed and then we are going to leave. We aren’t sure how many people are still playing games, a lot of people built their visas up so we are hoping there aren’t too many players and that we can actually enter.” You felt guilty being one of the ones with enough days that allowed you to stay away from the games, though it wasn’t any easier watching the people you loved join them day after day. “Don't feel bad.”

“How did you guess?” You smirk playfully.

“Because I know you.” She tuts before pointing to the bag. “What’s that?”

“Everything you will need.” You open the bag to show her its contents. “There’s some first aid, some food although not much, I put a few jackets inside and this.” You carefully tug the flick knife from where you had stashed it in the strap of the bag. “Figured it could come in handy.”

She skips over, pulling you into a hug. “I am so fucking lucky I met you.”

“I just want you to be safe.” You relax into her hold.

“I will be.” She squeezes you tighter. “Thank you.”

“Kuina?” You pull back looking at her as you dare to ask in a moment of vulnerability. “You’ll come back right?”

“I will.” She comforts you. “You aren’t going to lose another sister.”

You choke on a cry as you pull her back to you. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Room for another?” An doesn’t wait for an answer before wrapping herself around you both.

You stay like that for a few minutes before you all slowly pull away, emotions calming down as An picks up the back and slips it over her shoulder.

“You have to go.”

Kuina sighs sadly. “Yeah.”

“Okay. I’ll walk you to the door.”

It’s a moment that tugs on your heart as you watch them lace their shoes, bodies and minds preparing to face a world that you have all had a slight reprieve from even just for a few days.

An opens the door, checking around the immediate area before stepping out. “Let’s go.”

Kuina gives you one last wordless hug before lacing her fingers in Ans, letting herself be pulled away by the woman in the direction the blimp had passed by.

You didn’t close the door until they were out of sight.

You slumped on the floor against the wall, the house a sad kind of silent without any of its other occupants. It wasn’t loneliness but you longed to rewind time and cherish the moments of laughter a little longer, feeling stupid for taking such things for granted.

A book sitting on the table caught your eye and you picked it up yet no matter how long you flicked through the pages and tried to focus on the words the story slipped through your hands as your focus remained with those no longer beside you.

“I fucking hate this world.” You groaned, dropping your head against your arm, the world slipping into darkness after a while.

“Chishiya no!” You screamed as he raised the gun, pointing it directly at you. “You don’t have to do this!”

“If you don’t do it I will.” A woman walked behind him, her arm rubbing across his shoulders. “You know I’ll make it hurt.”

“I’m sorry.” He mouthed. “I’m so sorry.”

You closed your eyes, preparing yourself for death.

The sound of the bullet pierced your ears, you waited for the pain to come but it never did.

You open your eyes, searching for blood only to find something that looks awfully like your sister hovering over Chishiyas's dead body.

But that wasn’t your sister, it wasn’t human, it was more like a rotting corpse that had dug itself out from the grave. Its voice was distorted as it pulled itself closer to you. “I told you I’d protect you.”

“No, stay away!” You called holding your hands up but you were powerless against the creature.

Its hands burned against your skin, you thrashed around as it pushed you down, its hand pushing through your chest.

You couldn’t breathe as it fisted your heart.

“Wake up.”

You scrambled away as fast as you could, panting for air as you registered your surroundings. It was dark but a light had been turned on.

You weren’t alone any more.

“I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m sorry.”

He was back.

“Is this real?” You asked, your chest heaving.”

Chishiya smiled. “It is.”

You stumbled into his arms, knocking him onto the floor as he held you. “I’m…I…

“What did you dream about?” He asked, his hands soft as they ran through your hair, unlike the demon that had nearly ripped your heart out.

“You- I- I don’t know.” You tried to calm yourself down enough to explain. “A demon or a creature I- I don’t know but the thing, whatever it was, it looked like my sister but it wasn’t they killed you and then they- they went to rip my heart out.”

He pushed you back enough to touch your chest just as he brought your hand to rest upon his own. “Your heart is here, I can feel it beating. I am here, you can feel my heart beating.”

“I missed you.” You cried in relief. “How was your game?”

His voice was soft, and patient. “It was okay. We can talk about it later, you should calm down first.”

You rested against his chest, the rhythmic beating of his heart relaxing you enough to get your panic under control.

Chishiya was here, alive. You are alive.

Kuina and An would be okay, they are alive.

“Are you feeling better?” He hums.

You nod. “Sorry, I’m such a mess.”

“It’s okay.” He looks around before frowning. Where are the terrible two?”

“They had to go and join a game.” You explain. “Can we go and lay in bed?”

“Come.” He stands, his hand wrapping around yours.

He pulls back the covers and helps you in before doing the same on the other side. You’re thankful as he pulls you against his chest, closing the distance between you both. “My game was okay.”

“What was it?”

“We had to answer these questions, if we got it wrong too many times then we would be given a fatal acidic shower. I watched people melt to death.”

“That sounds horrific.” You grimace, the thought alone was enough to have your breakfast threatening to come back up.

“Eh.” He shrugs. “Wasn’t that bad?”

“You seem different.” You notice, his entire personality seemed…nicer?

He nods. “I just realised a few things.”

“And they are?”

“You should rest, we can talk about it later.”

You didn’t want to rest, if anything now you were inside the bedroom you felt as though you were suffocating.

You sat up. “Can we sit outside for a while?”

“You couldn’t have said this before asking to come to bed?” He moans. “God you’re annoying.”

A smile tugged at your lips as he got out of bed, waiting for you to follow hums “Now that sounds a lot more…you?”

“Shut up.” He grumbles.

You wrap a jacket around yourself before lacing up your trainers. “Let’s walk a little?”

“Stay close to the house.” He picks up his regular backpack; no doubt filled with the very items you had given to An and Kuina to take before he puts his shoes on, securing a jacket over the top of his bag. “And stay close to me.”

“Aye aye.” You roll your eyes. “You didn’t get hurt in your game?”

“No. An wrapped my stab wound before I left and it’s been fine since. I didn’t have to run and I was the only winner.” He says nonchalantly.

“I’m proud of you.” It felt wrong to congratulate someone on winning a game where they died.

“Don’t be.” He shook his head.

“And why is that?”

He opens his mouth to say something before closing it again and shrugging. “Nothing.”

Surely with so many games starting and ending the cards were nearly collected in their entirety. “Who was the game against? Was it just people like us?”

He shook his head, guiding you to step over a rock. “You aren’t going to believe this.”

“What?” You frowned.

He gives you a shit-eating grin. “Kuzuryu is a citizen or whatever that means. I think it’s people who run it, like Mira.”

You hadn’t had many interactions with the man but he seemed as though he had his head too far up his own ass for your liking. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“I kind of did.” He doesn’t seem surprised, you can imagine that was his original reaction the moment he saw the man there. “He played a good game.”

The air turned cold as you walked further away, you couldn’t stop yourself from shivering. “Can we head back?”

“Yeah, it’s late.” He agrees, turning you both around.

“How many games do you think are-“

“Sh!.” He wraps a hand over your mouth, dragging you behind a wall. “Someone is here.”

You stand upright, keeping your breathing as quiet as possible. Your heart rattled against your chest.

A resounding boom shook the ground, You watched as a thick black smoke covered the already darkened sky.

You couldn’t help but lean forward, watching the only home you had here burn to the ground. The safety you’d found had been torn away.

A black figure stood, gun aimed at the tank that fueled the electricity.

The king of spades.

Chishiya grabbed your hand and pulled, and you both ran for your lives.

No matter how desperate your lungs were for you to stop, you kept going.

You kept running.

[ad0rechuu]

★ MILKY WAY. ━━ (000) ASK THEM ANYTHING part 2

💌 ZERO SAYS. wow it’s over! it feels bittersweet and emotional! i can’t believe it to be honest, it doesn’t feel real yet but i am very grateful for everything and also for the questions! i deleted the asks bcs i’ll answer it here but i got nearly teary eyed reading trough them again! i wanna be sappy and continue talking but ill keep it to myself for now because i think i should say everything in the afterword <3 i love you and i hope you’ll enjoy the last (special) chapter of mw! you can find part 1 here

❪ # i ❫ : What inspired your solo "Milky Way"? ━━ to yn

from @meginthebuilding27

YN : i was watching a drama when i wrote the music but the lyrics wouldn’t come to me, that was until i started writing with hwa, san and mingi, afterwards it was easy and i just wrote how they made me feel

❪ # ii ❫ : Did you ever think about the fact that she would find your fan accounts / So my question is would you all have ever told Yn about your fan accounts if sera never put two and two together? ━━ to psh, csn & smg

from @meginthebuilding27 & anon

SEONGHWA : I feel ashamed saying this but I don’t think I expected our relationship to ever progress to the point where telling her could be considered a possibility to be honest

SAN : I considered telling her when she found out about my crush but then I just couldn’t

MINGI : No it never even crossed my mind

❪ # iii ❫ : What did you feel when you finally released your first single? And how do you expect it to be perceived as from fans, what feelings should we get? ━━ to yn

from @jaehunnyy

YN : It was insane, I released it as a distraction for myself but instead it made me miss them more. As for the fans, it was a lot better perceived than I expected but I think everyone should make up their own meaning about it, it’s more fun that way. (However I wrote it with the intention of capturing the feeling of falling in love)

❪ # iv ❫ : What team are you guys on? Team Hwa, San, or Mingi? If possible please justify your answers ? ━━ to ateez (except psh, cs & smg)

from @seonghwaddict

HONGJOONG : Team Hwa! I hate to pick favorites but I was going to try to set Seonghwa up with Yn before I knew that she was his idol just because I think they would fit together like puzzle pieces

YUNHO : Team Mingi! Because he’d commit a war crime if I would say anything else

YEOSANG : Team Yuna! I like chaos and she can do so much better than these losers

WOOYOUNG : Team San! I trust Yn with san, San can’t be handled by just anyone you know, it takes a special kind of person

JONGHO : Team leave-Jongho-out-of-this.

❪ # v ❫ : I just wanna know their love languages! ━━ to yn, psh, csn & smg

from @tocupid

YN : I think my love language is words of affirmation! I like them all!

SEONGHWA : Definitely quality time, I think the ultimate type of love is the type where you can just be around your person doing whatever comfortably

SAN : Physical Touch!

MINGI : Korean!- Oh that type of language… hmm maybe gift giving, I’d love to spoil her

❪ # vi ❫ : What qualities of Yn made Seonghwa, San, and Mingi fall in love? (You don't have to go into major detail but I want to know about this from your perspective as the author) ━━ to psh, csn & smg (but answered by zero)

from @alixnsuperstxr

FOR SEONGHWA : I think Yns kindness and caring side made Seonghwa go from being a fan to being in love with Yn, the way she treats the people around her makes him want to take care of her in return. He tried really hard to separate the Yn he got to know as an idol and the Yn he got to know as a friend but he found that they were identical which made him want her even more

FOR SAN : For San it was Yns passion and love, this one is quite straightforward! San adored Yn the moment he saw her but what pushed him over the edge and made him fall in love was that she has so much love for everyone around her and craft

MINGI : Yns sense of identity and vulnerability, Mingi would always worry about the hate Yn received and get worked up about it (he still kinda does) but after seeing how she handles everything he was so impressed, the administration turned into love. She allows herself to feel hurt without changing herself because of what others think and he thinks she’s the coolest for it

❪ # vii ❫ : I know that in the group chat, each member has a different endgame and an idea of who Yn should pick, but why is that?? What makes them think they are suitable for Yn?? ━━ to ksg, fts, psj & syn

from @alixnsuperstxr

SEULGI : I chose Seonghwa because I know him the best out of the three, I’m not saying the others are not great but he’s just so sweet, I trust him to take care of my little sister well

FATOU : To be honest at first I chose Mingi just because he’s hot but then I noticed that she never has not a smile on her face when talking about him, which is sickeningly adorable

SWAN : *sigh* I’m guessing I can’t choose Park Taegyu huh? Just kidding! I choose whoever makes the Yn happiest

YUNA : Obviously I’m team YNNA first and foremost but I like how open san is about his feelings, something about him makes me think that Yn would always be his top priority

❪ # viii ❫ : How long has Sera had feelings for Yn?? ━━ to srw

from @alixnsuperstxr

SERA : I guess it started a while before I left, I’m not sure but I remember that it was very intense feeling that I haven’t felt since then

❪ # ix ❫ : if you could go back in time do you think you would change your mind about leaving (during trainee years)? If no, you would still leave, would you keep contact with yn this time? ━━ to srw

from @kodzumo

SERA : There is no point in crying over spilled milk but I do think the idol career was never meant for me, so yes I would leave but I’d keep contact with Yn and love her without being a coward… maybe in our next lives

❪ # x ❫ : What were you guy’s favorite songs off ‘Le Astre’? ━━ to psh, csn & smg

from @ kodzumo

SEONGHWA : I love the intro Body Language but I don’t think that counts so I choose Blue Flame

SAN : Loveade, no question!

MINGI : Other than the title track, I’d choose Deep!

❪ # xi ❫ : Has Lee Hyori answered any of your mail yet? ━━ to jwy

from @ kodzumo

WOOYOUNG : Sadly, no. However I’m now friends with Yn and Seulgi and Seulgi knows Boa who probably knows Lee Hyori so I’m staying hopeful!

seulgi’s note : Am I planning to give Wooyoung Boa’s number-?! Why in the world does he need her number?

❪ # xii ❫ : How is it seeing how far Yn has grown as a person from when you guys were younger? ━━ to khj

from @ kodzumo

HONGJOONG : It makes me super proud of her, I didn’t know she’d become an idol but I always knew she’d do great things- Don’t tell her I said that though

❪ # xiii ❫ : When are you free for a date (I’m literally spiderman pls)? ━━ to jyh

from @ kodzumo

YUNHO : I’m can plan something every day other than Monday’s, Thursday’s and Friday’s (because I work on those days), I love you so much Spiderman!

❪ # xiv ❫ : Have you shown yn your star wars lego collection yet (i also collect them hehe)? ━━ to psh

from @ kodzumo

SEONGHWA : We should be friends then! But I told her about it and she thought it was very cool, hopefully the next time I can show her them

❪ # xv ❫ : Not a question but I love you guys <3 ━━ to kys & cjh

from @ kodzumo

YEOSANG : You love m-me?

JONGHO : …Okay

author’s note : despite their answers both participants are blushing profusely

❪ # xvi ❫ : Also not a question but you guys are so cool I love you guys so much as well ━━ to star

from @ kodzumo

STAR : Thank you so much! We love you too of course!

yuna’s note : You love us more than them right??

swan’s note : Please feel free to ignore Yuna’s note

❪ # xvii ❫ : I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you and I hope you have the best day, mwah <3 ━━ to yn

from @ kodzumo

seulgi’s note : Yn is currently crying about how much she appreciates this message but I’m here to say that she is having a great day and she’s proud of you too

fatou’s note : She’s going on a date soon!

❪ # xviii ❫ : Now that we know that sera likes Yn, how do you feel? Also how does it feel to be part of this whole thing where MinSanHwa like Yn, Yn liked you, you like sera, and sera likes Yn????? ━━ to ptg

from anon

TAEGYU : Sera likes Yn? Her liking someone other than me hurts less than I expected… to be honest I kinda started to lose feelings after Sera started getting distant around the time Yn confessed. Anyway I’m not surprised she likes Yn, after all my dongsaeng is great! And the whole Yns crushes situation stressed me out a little, so the only thing I really have to say is that I’m glad it worked out but I wish that Yn and me were both less oblivious haha! I also don’t think they like me very much

❪ # xix ❫ : Did you guys have any hope that Yn was going to forgive you the moment your accounts were revealed to her? ━━ to psh, csn & smg

from @ jaehunnyy

SEONGHWA : I didn’t think about hoping in the slightest, when she said that she needed time I thought it was just a nice way of saying “I don’t want to see ever again’

SAN : I definitely hoped that she did, because she’s a really sweet person and I couldn’t imagine that she wouldn’t but I didn’t think she’d ever consider a relationship like this again

MINGI : I don’t know if I would be able to forgive me but I always wanted keep hope so I was torn the entire time

❪ # xx ❫ : When did you guys know that Yn was the one for you? ━━ to psh, csn & smg

from @ jaehunnyy

SEONGHWA : I started feeling something when she was so genuine to everyone in one of our first conversations (ch 013)

SAN : Oh my god it was when I met her in real life for the first time, I think I liked her before but this was different! (ch 025)

MINGI : I’m not sure, at first I just liked spending time with her and talking to her but then all of a sudden I couldn’t imagine a world without her anymore (ch ???)

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[bera-post-things]

Yandere Zhongli X Female or G/N Reader who accepts what ever he gives them because they where taught to be grateful

Artist credit: Unknown

How is this getting to 70 likes

A/N: Since his banner is here and I recently pulled him I think this is fitting

A/N: I wrote this thinking of female reader but I never included a pronoun such as He/She I mainly put the reader as They Or them as Gender netrual

Prompt: You where always taught to be grateful to others who ever gave you something in your life someone gave you a kimono you’ll thank them a peice of jewelry you’ll thank them even if it was a wooden cup you’ll thank them and smile at them with kindess this is what willl evntually catch the attention of Zhongli, the mysterious person who worked at the funerual parlor. Who you caught the attention of when a man gave you some thing so simple and worthless peice of rock and yet you thanked him and smiled at him this caught the interest of the former God of Geo he loved the way when you smiled at others grateful for their kindness it bring a certain warmth into his heart ever since Guizhong had left him as he thought to himself he saw you talking to once again another person from around the corner ah yes you might be wondering why he’s stalking you well he would put it as “protecting you” he’s been stalking you for weeks now without you knowing or noticing until one day you just see the color of orange and black dash around the corner to many times to calm it a coincidence…

@-@-@/@@/@/@/@/@/@@/@-@

You where walking around Liyue harbor until a older gentlemen walked up to you and offfered you a sale at his stand blushing as he stammered “here’s a ticket for a sale at my shop” and quickly gave you the ticket and ran off as you yelled out”thank you!” as you saw the man run off but you didn’t see there was Zhongli around the corner standing on the 2nd floor of the building off Liyue harbor looking down at you as you started walking towards his direction as he quickly walked off before you could spot him…

Recently you’ve been feeling off edge like you’ve been feeling like your getting stared at constantly through the day even when you where relaxing in your house it’s like there’s always a eye following you around it’s really been affecting your way of life recently you’ve been more skittish and warily from the feeling of constantly being watched has made you into quite the mess being under the constant gaze of the geo archons gaze.

Everyday hen you go out to get groceries you felt like your being watched but every time you look around everything was the same everyone was doing what they always did none of them were looking at you but you didn’t look up to see the intense stare of the tall older man as you hurriedly walked off back to your home but every time you walk into your home your still feeling like there was a burning smothering gaze being burned into your back even when you closed the blinds you can fell like you’ve being watched

Later on in the week…

It’s been a week since you’ve got this feeling it’s only been getting worse and you started suspecting many different people it’s been making you go crazy sometimes you think you’ve been seeing small flashes of Geo flashing around corners seeing this you’ve been suspecting Zhongli since the begginging of the week but you didn’t want to believe it he’s been giving you so much good things he’s been so nice to you but he’s the only candidate here so you went to the place where you knew where he would by the statue of the seven… as you walked up to gathering up the courage to confront him about the situation as you walked up to him he instantly turned around like he was expecting you to come…

“Ahh Y/N just who I was looking for” he said as he went into his pockets and pulled out an expensive looking pair of chopsticks as he offered them to you”what no I’m not here for your chopsticks Mr Zhongli I’m here to talk to you about you stalking me now don’t you pretend that you don’t know what I’m talking about Ive seen the proof the brief orange hues disappearing around the corners and the constant feeling that I’m getting stared at even in my own house? You said to him accusingly as he just looked at you sighing” oh it’s about this situation well hm… I guess I shouldn’t beat around the bush then well you see Y/N it was just to ”protect” you that’s all I meant it to be not to harm you in any kind of way” he said as you scothed”yeah right I highly doubt that just leave me alone or I’m calling the guards on you” you said before walking off as his eyesbeowsfurrowed so you wanted to be like that this would surely be much harder to protect you he thought “sorry but I cannot allow that to simply happen Dear” he said as he ported next you and knocked you out looking around there was no one around as he teleported to his room(where does this man even live?) And laid you down, as the man sighed” you always had to make things so hard”. He said as he watched your sleeping form on the bed… as he covered you with the silky smooth blankets and took one last look at you before shutting the blinds and leaving by the door to get back before walking out the door leaving the room in complete darkness…

A/N: I think this is pretty bad but if you read to her thank you

[shy4turcs]

Appreciation post!!!

im feeling sappy so im gonna talk about my favorite people on this app

@drysdalesv V is literally the sweetest person ever. she was the first person I really talked to on here and now she is one of my best friends and now she knows to much... she is literally hilarious, got my ass giggling at 3am 😭. we have so many simalities its crazy we even almost look alike🧍 we also share the same brain when it comes ro smut ideas its amazing they just flow out. ALL of you need to see her writing (especially her threesome fics!!) she is literally an amazing writer. she leaves me speechless sometimes, READ HER FICS!!

@wbkz3gras Lee is an amazing tiktok editor (wbkz3gras on tiktok!) her edits got me gigglin n blushin everytime. BRO they be finding content and picture of the boys like out of thin air i dont understand how but i am grateful for all the content 😭 They also just started making insta fic and there so good so yall need to see those NOW

@11zegras ky is literally so sweet were always sending eachother content or just random pics we find. she bold bold some of the stories ive heard doing what most counldnt lmfao

@uluvjay JAYYYYYYY let me just tell yall they make the most jaw dropping smut it had me screaming. they are incredibly talented i just wanna kiss their brain. GO READ THEIR FICS LIKE RN!

@nicojackl0v3r Kara is literally hilarious and actually stunning! the shit they post on snap has me laughing my ass off stg 😭 they also write and there fics are so good i highly recommend you check them out!! we also stay spreading the seamus casey agenda

@hvghes we just started talking a lot more recently but your so sweet and OMG YOUR DOG IS ADORABLE. my fav post by them are there hard or soft lunch insta fics i just love them. there also a fellow tyler duke girlie and just recently posted a tyler fic god bless SO YALL SUCH GO LOOK AT IT!!

@lvrzegras mads is also one of the first people i talked to on here there so sweet and i love talking about the boys on here with them. they write fics also and there amazing i love their fluff SO YOU ALL NEED TO GO READ THEM

@55stargirl we just recently became mutuals and there so sweet and there smut is godly ESPECIALLY THERE LUCA THIGH RIDING FIC AHHH that fic is literally amazing so i think yall should check them out

holy shit thats a lot... but i do love everyone i talk to on here you all are amazing and i appreciate you all so much. sorry if i left anyone out <333

[chiskz]

《 CHICHI ON MAMA 2022 》

》 I Interactions:

DAY 1

- she talked a lot in Japanese while being backstage with Kazuha and Sakura from LE SSERAFIM, with whom she also ate some snacks in their waiting room

- she exchanged a few words with Yeonjun when they passed each other on the way to the toilet, he promised to call later (and he did)

DAY 2

- Chichi was absent from the couch during the others' performances, she was only at the opening performance of 3RACHA and Tiger JK

- after the whole event, she met J-Hope for dinner - fortunately, none of them were caught by the press

》 II Red Carpet Look (DAY 1)

》 III Solo Performance (DAY 2)

☆ Chichi performed covers of ATEEZ songs.

Title of the performance: Let's Break The Wall - Answer x Guerilla x The Leaders (ATEEZ).

☆ Outfit.

☆ Performance.

Chichi gave a lot of energy to both ATINY and STAY, perfectly preparing the performance in accordance with the theme of this year's MAMA - Music Makes One. The audience's involvement in the energetic chanting could really give the impression that everyone gathered, if only for a moment, actually became one. In addition to the substantive part of the performance, Chichi also looked really fierce, and once again proved how great stamina she hides. She sang and rapped live performing the entire, uncut choreography for both songs.

The performance started with Chichi walking to the stage and addressing the audience. After the lights went out, she lined up among the dancers to perform Answer segment. This was followed by the second part of her speech, involving the audience, and then flowing seamlessly into a performance with Guerilla. Without slowing down for even a moment, she transitioned equally smoothly into The Leaders.

"Our dear ATEEZ can not be with us today, 'cause they're doing right now their really best during their world tour to make their ATINY so happy. But... MAMA without ATEEZ feels so empty right? So I've got a special permission from no one other than captain Hongjoong and the rest of the pirates to perform in their behalf.

Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Yunho, Yeosang, San, Mingi, Wooyoung and Jongho. I hope we can meet soon.

Are you guys ready? Cause I sure am."

ANSWER began

'geonbaehaja like a thunder

ne modeun geol chaewo neomchyeoheureul deusi

modu janeul meori wiro

sesang eodieseodeun boil su itge'

short dancebreak

break the wall...

break the wall...

"We're so good at breaking the walls. So let's break all the walls around us today. Cause Music... Makes One!"

let's break the walls, let's break the walls, let's break the walls, let's break the walls, let's break the walls, let's break the walls.

'Cause Music Makes One. Today. Tomorrow. Always.

Okay, let's go, let's break the walls, okay let's go, let's break the walls, okay, let's go let's break the walls, let's break, let's break...

We. Are. The Guerrillas.

Guerrilla + The Leaders

》 IV Award.

Chichi won MAMA's first ever new "Little Independent Award" awarded to idols for their incredibly large, independent contributions to their careers. Chichi is the first MAMA independently awarded idol who did not debut solo. The selection was guided by her being a choreographer (independently creating choreography for a group of nine) and independently preparing such a varied performance at the gala.

☆ Speech.

"I never thought I'd be standing here all alone." She laughed through her tears, all the while looking at Stray Kids who were standing in front of the couches instead of sitting down. She wiped her cheeks quickly and sighed. "This is a very valuable prize for which I am incredibly grateful. If it wasn't for STAY and my Stray Kids, I wouldn't be able to fulfill myself in what I love and I wouldn't have a chance to use the acquired knowledge so well. However, I know that this award is not entirely 'independet', because without the aforementioned huge support, I would not be here now. Even though I did these things myself, behind my back I just have a lot of amazing people who wish me well. STAY, Stray Kids, this is my award, from me to you. I'll be working even harder from now on. Thank you!"

[olkarrion]

just a little life update:

ive been working with a pain management doctor and a physical therapist for the last few months. since then, I've regained a bit of strength and my pain has become more manageable.

my leg doctor still wont approve me for surgery because the muscle is too atrophied and the nerves are still too damaged. i have some senory loss in my leg that we're still not sure if it's going to come back.

for anyone who is wondering, I had a full work up of my spine, neck, and brain. they found a few slightly bulging dics/areas that experienced degeneration but nothing that would cause me to lose my ability to walk. I am very lucky and so fucking thankful. for months and months my doctors were looking for MS or spinal stenosis, I am so grateful to know my spine is okay.

I have another appointment with my leg doctor in three months for a reevaluation. before then, he wants to give me a gel injection to help with the pain from missing cartilage under the knee.

I'm working with my doctors and insurance to get a custom wheelchair, again thank you to everyone who helped! The wheelchair is one thing, but the dozens of appointments and phone calls and MRI's leading up to that point was also so expensive, I could not have done it without your help.

I'm applying for disability this month. I'm still getting all my shit in order, and truthfully, if I am able to get a job in IT before then thats what I'll do. I need to be financially independent because I'm living with my abuser who does not believe im disabled and I can't keep living in this vulnerable situation.

My insurance requires me to be a full time student so I'm doing college online now, studying computer information systems.

Im still struggling. I dont have a support system other than my mom, best friend, and my long distance partner. Im still in pain everyday. But Im also still fucking here.

If you have any more questions about what ive talked about here, please shoot me an ask. i vented a lot on here when I had only 10% of my ability to walk and i was getting my brain scaned every other week, so i assume there's some confusion about whats been going on.

as of now, i and my doctors assume joint instability due to hEDS caused the severe degeneration of my knee, the damage to my nerves, and is why I'm experiencing the loss of so many of my abilities. leaning on my wrists to walk caused some serious problems there too. im doing much better noe that im not using a cane everyday.

I am working my ass off to recover, but Im not sure if ill ever even get to half of how strong I was before. Im still trying, though. even though it feels hopeless. its not.

[graceschasity]

i wanna get sentimental for a sec because ive been thinking lately about the upcoming 4th anniversary to this account, idk 4 years kinda punched me in the face last week cause 4 years ago i was deep in my tgwdlm fixation (had been for several months before specifically joining the tumblr fandom). take a short trip through the past 4 years with me. black friday hadnt even premiered on stage yet, i wanted to go, but knew i couldnt. it wasnt logical, surely there was no way i could ever go to LA to see a hatchetfield show, right?

i remember black friday premiering on the digital ticket, i remember finding other people to connect with hatchetfield over and making this account, i remember knowing about nerdy prudes must die, knowing it was likely to hit in 2020. i remember the pandemic hitting right around the time they probably would have announced the kickstarter for it. and i especially remember making a dumb little group chat cause i was bored one night, and not even to get into everything else that spawned into, i specifically remember talking about nerdy prudes. everything was shut down, we hadnt heard from starkid in months, nerdy prudes was a pipe dream at that time, it was a fantasy we talked about together, about making trips and meeting up and going to the show, it was all just a dream... until it wasnt.

nerdy prudes means more to me than i can even state. a show that was simply a fantasy, a coping mechanism to get me through the loneliness of the pandemic, is a reality. not only does the show exist, i saw it, in person, with the same people i dreamed i would, and theres even the chance that ill be a part of it in the audience for everyone to see. and now a few months later im going to be hit with the reality of this once again, the upcoming release is a reminder that this all really did happen. it all feels so unreal to me, i cant believe im actually here, this show, and everything leading up to it, are memories i will treasure forever. i am so grateful for everything that has happened to get me to this point. i love this show, i love this community, i love my friends. it would have been so easy for none of this to ever happen to me, im so happy it did. nerdy prudes must die is real and exists and will be public on october 13th. i truly hope this shows means as much to you as it does to me