#greentext reading

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

>Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago.

>Get startled by phone ringing.

>It’s one of my players.

DIRK: Dude, it’s midnight. You good?

JADE: yeah!! yeah sorry if i woke you :( could i ask for a favor?

>OhGodSheKilledSomeone.gif

DIRK: Uh, sure? Shoot.

JADE: my daughter cant sleep, could you tell a quick story over speaker phone? she loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed but  left my laptop at the office so i cant play them!!

>NaniTheFuck.mp3

DIRK: She listens to us to fall asleep?

JADE: yeah!! but she really likes your plot and npc acting bits. she calls you “dumb dumb mister”. guess “dungeon master” is a bit hard for a preschooler hehe

DIRK: Wow… Well, if it will help her sleep, then sure.

JADE: YESSS thank you! ok give me a sec to head back to her room... ...ok youre on speaker!

DIRK: Hey Ruby, it’s Uncle Dirk.

RUBY: [HAPPY GASP] DUMB DUMB MISTER

>I'veNeverBeenHappierToBeCalledADumbDumb.jpg

DIRK: You ready for a story about [DM IMPROV SKILLS ENGAGE] the time your mommy and her friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?

RUBY: [INCOMPREHENSIBLE HAPPY SQUEALING NOISES]

>I then proceed to spend nearly 20 minutes spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep.

>Friend thanks me for the help and says she’ll see me on game night.

>Lie down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked her.

>I am the dumb dumb mister.

[peoplegettingreallymadatghosts]

As promised here you go

it’s mostly just descriptions of various cryptid encounters with little else to go off, kind of a monster manual. Nice enough for an afternoon read

some of the opinion stuff makes me raise an eyebrow but eh we all know how this song and dance goes

related sites and other books on there might head into true Dangerous Bullshit territory but I haven’t looked too deep so, y’know, just watch for that

[recovering-redditor]

Coworker said it smelled like wet dog in the office

I asked him, “ What’s wet dog?”

He just looked confused

My humor is wasted on these people

[spookcataloger]

Night shift security guard, fuck this job (2017)

[something-in-your-walls]

>be me >your boyfriend drags you into the Homestuck fandom >that night you black out >you wake up the next morning with no memory of the night before, but also have random ass trollsonas of you and your younger brother drawn and ready how did this happen???

[tainbocuailnge]

love me a stable timeloop love it when the seemingly unreachable standard set by past heroes turns out to be your own future achievements love it when the evil that destroyed your home was your own future catastrophic breakdown love when the attempt to change the past only solidifies it and everything happens exactly as it should because someone's gotta do it for better and for worse and causality has contrived for you to be there at the right time and place to do it

[rainbowire]

high as hell just trying and failing to sleep. start tearing up because i am looking at a list of various fruits and imaginibg how all of them taste and theyre good

[trickstarbrave]

>be me >go to target with my wife >wife wants to look at books >picks up a book bc the title sounds interesting >look at the cover >”thats a reylo book i can sense it” >wife denies it >i google >its a reylo book

[sevicia]

also I almost fell really deep into a rabbit hole tonight cause like. 🆗 here's the sequence of events:

A few weeks ago: Want to play fatal frame -> find undubbed version -> find PS2 emulator -> check if my cute little laptop meets the minimum requirements -> it does Thank God

Today: Actually download everything I need to -> start up the install wizard for the emulator -> it needs a BIOS key -> go on r/Roms -> find what I need -> still snoop around various sites as I love digital archiving -> go back to the site I DLd the game from -> "Hmm I wonder what other games they have" -> visual novel that looks old as fuck on homepage -> click -> says "This may as well be the very first game to be called a "Visual Novel"." -> intrigued, look it up on VNDB -> it's an eroge, don't really care -> hit "Random VN" just cuz -> first two VNs are nothing special

Still today, but after hitting the "Random" button a 3rd time: VN doesn't even have a cover img, written playtime, or desc -> only a title, release date and other non-plot related info -> look it up -> nothing comes up, only a novelization for an anime -> go to the official site -> it's a link to the Wayback Machine version of it -> snoop around -> publisher has a bunch more stuff on the site -> click on "works" -> some comics, lots of VNs and stories -> none of the DLs work (obvi) -> some pages were not even archived -> start getting that Itch I feel sometimes to find out as much as I can about a thing -> have to go to the bathroom -> close laptop -> decide I can't do this RN because I'll get too into it and just not sleep at all -> spend hours on my phone anyways

I'm gonna try 2 sleep now for it is 4.20 AM 🫂

[sanguivores]

anon takes datura

[aliferous-ly]

> getting macarons from costco!!

> theyre heart shaped for Valentine's day :D

> but they only have two flavors (compared to the usual six)

> vanilla and raspberry is one of the flavors 🤤

> but they don't look remotely well made :/

> walked out without macarons from costco 😔

[rustystars]

funny how those posts making fun of how stupid everyone on board is act like there's only four people . like yeah they're fucking stupid they willingly got in a proven unsafe death trap but you're also fucking weird for saying that you hope people are suffering. that's fucked up behavior! you're being cruel!

[chicago-geniza]

Reading about some interwar Polish lesbians cited in this article. Wondered if they were the discreet kind or the obvious kind

"Od 1915 była dyrektorem zarządzającym Towarzystwa Akcyjnego „Urania”."

Oh they were the "taunting you with how obvious it is if you know how to read and have a passing familiarity with the first stirrings of sexology" kind

UPD: Remember the butch cyclists I posted awhile ago...she co-founded that club. Thank you Wanda for your service

[superdoggie5000]

gets introduced into the enclosure, swiftly my presence destroys the delicate natural balance of the ecosystem

[facecam]

I get it but i don't think someone reposting a greentext necessarily was browsing 4chan to get it or was doing so with the intent to indoctrinate someone into far right ideology

[sheheisk]