#grooming red flags

[machiavellli]

the bride (not really, she got played) and the ugly ass groom (just actually ugly)

[radioactivepeasant]

If the game won't give you character development, homemade is fine

Text: "I messed up, Tess. Did you see Jak's eyes? He looked like I'd...I'd stabbed him or something! I should've r- r- remembered- He was scared, Tess!"

Text: "I just...Why did I say all that? I mean, Errol...he always says I'm really mature for my age, but...that was so childish!"

Text: "...Keira...No, honey. You're sixteen. A kid. If a grown man is flirting and calling you "so mature", you need to run. I don't know exactly what he did to Jak, but it was bad. If you ever see Errol again, you or Jak, you come find me or Sig, okay?"

Text: "Jak's never gonna trust my judgment again, let alone forgive me! ...I just found Jak, and I think I lost him already."

Text: "Baby, c'mere."

Text: "Yeahhhh...You learned a hard lesson, Keira. Thank the Precursors he never had the chance to hurt you like he hurt Jak, but I know that doesn't take the hurt away. And it doesn't rewind our choices. Just...be careful. And give Jak time."

[valyrfia]

just reread the mortal instruments for the first time in like seven (?) years and like it's fine and all but the concept would've been so much more interesting in the hands of a queer author

[the-maladjustedjester]

No but actually what was Whit thinking when he let Richard get on the bus and leave? If a guy comes back to his hometown and claims he wants to “make things right” with everyone he’s wronged, that guy is for sure planning on killing himself lmaooo that’s like one of the big red flags you look for 😭 dude is making peace and tying up loose ends? better fucking call a hotline and not leave his god damn side, that man is not planning on living through the next week 💀

[pissfizz]

Never trust a bitch named Greyson

[deeproyale]

i went to a mini con today with my souma bear ita bag and some danganronpa cosplayers approached me and told me how cute it was and asked where i got it + added me on discord. And then i ran into a hamtaro nazuna cosplayer who told me those people were groomers with a massive callout post so i then went and blocked. and added her on my souma instagram. Oh enstarries you never fail to amaze me and give me whiplash

[mycptsdstory]

This is HOW to look for a Peadophile

[the-hype-dragon]

everyone knows harmful media is HARMFUL until we're talking about media aimed at women and girls lmao then it's "UM don't you know women can tell the DIFFERENCE between FICTION and REALITY" yeah grown women can but can girls in their formative years, with no life experience, be expected to know that a lot of this shit is the fantasy of GROWN WOMEN who do know better lmao I am skeptical. I don't think girls are stupid but it's not like they just Know everything as soon as they hit a certain age either. how do you think abusers get into their victims' confidence. perhaps it has to do with all these books and TV shows and movies showing bad behavior in a romantic light? this "I can fix him" attitude didn't just spring up out of nowhere. there are so many women who don't think this way that it simply can't be Default Female Behavior. this is learned shit

[gaykillermoth]

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[tiredmaster]

Not to be rude it but how does Gene groom the sks? You do kind of have a point w the bullying thing but they don’t really fall apart (the gang does dissolve but a group falling apart because it lost its leader is different from like, the actual people themselves falling apart) and I don’t think we ever see him manipulating them.

(It has been a very long time since I watched PDH and I didn’t watch all of it so I could absolutely be wrong)

A lot of the context for that post does come from later S2 iirc, and also I can't be arsed to dig up my post. But, I hope this clarifies it-

Grooming is generally defined as preparing someone for abuse

The SKs don't have a life outside of Gene. If they're meeting out of school, it's with Gene. If they're skipping school, it's with Gene. While it's not unusual for ND kids to only have a tight group of friends, it becomes a bit worrying when in late Season 2 it's shown they can't make any friends because they've bullied everyone.

^ A large part of grooming + abuse is isolating someone from anyone they could connect to. The only reason they bullied people was for Gene.

Gene doesn't care about them. As soon as they're no longer useful to him (Holding his social position in HS) he only talks to them when they call him for help and then brushes them off quickly.

Oh, other than when they give him... photos of Aphmau. :/

Which, yeah, his idea of initiating someone into the group via blackmail is not a good look for his relationship with Zenix and Sasha.

TBH I don't know if they really fall apart- they're not developed enough in PDH to decide that. But they almost immediately go from 'Most feared in high school' to 'beaten by Zane' which, to me, shows that they aren't exactly threatening.

Xenix and Sasha get along and have a sibling-like dynamic, but IIRC their relationship with Gene is just to agree with him and do as he says.

While I don't think their ages are confirmed, it generally seems to be agreed that Zenix and Sasha are Aphmau's age, while Gene is canonically 17-19 in S1.

Am I reading too much into his behaviour and being overdramatic about it? Probably, but I think it could've been so useful to further villainise Gene in an interesting way. But to effectively do that the authors would have to face Aarmau.

[queer-polyam-emperor-penguin]

Random unrelated note of the day:

The conversation that's had after someone tells a group of 23-25yr olds that a 25yr old is dating a 19yr old and is 'super sweet and being respectful and has earned the families trust over time' is never actually 'Oh it's fine' because we all go 'We need to keep an eye on that because they've picked long term manipulation and that gets so bad so fast.'

And the fact this has happened multiple times....

Darlings, if a 25 year old man is not dating someone 23 or older; it's because they're immature and abusive and you start to put red flags together better about 23.

Because I talk to 18-21yr olds and your age shows. And I'm considered immature for my age in a fair few ways that aren't normal.

I know men in your own age group are stupid and immature and don't have their lives together; they're not meant to yet and neither are you. You're all as a collective learning the basic adult life skills and will lowkey fuck it up at points and suck at things because your brain is still developing.

But those men dating teenagers and early twenties when they're 25-30 aren't mature with their life together. They're immature and manipulative and probably developmentally stunted and just looking for control. They know how to cover their red flags because they know how they got caught when they were dating people their own age and now they're dating someone who's young enough that they haven't been exposed to the red flags in the kinds of relationships you experience in your mid to late 20's.

And I'm aware I'm 23, but my friend group ranges into their 30's and 40's and we all discuss the different life stages and how relationships change because knowing what's coming is the best way to build for it.

But please please realise the 'healthy seeming' dynamics between age gaps are often hiding a lot of abuse, manipulation and control.

[error-core-animations]

NGL my groomer being a hazbin hotel fan was a huge red flag. I shoulda left him when I found out, nothing good comes of being a fan of a show with ten million white twinks.

[kingoffiends]

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[wocwithmentalillness]

Diddy was 37 when he started dating Cassie...She was 19.

🚩🚩🚩

[dreamfaerye]

[heysre]

Embracing self-awareness. 🌱

Reflecting on growth and mindfulness 🌟

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#SelfDiscovery #PersonalGrowth #redflags