#guess i’m an antique y’all!

[bibliosauruswrecks]

Just found someone on Etsy selling “antique vintage lace from the 1990s” and I think I just died a little inside.

[shesquaredpodcast]

Ok, this isn’t technically femslash, but it kinda is since Lucy cannot play a character who isn’t at least bi (Goddess bless her). And since she’s been my hero since I was 13 and watching Xena live on air, I’m gonna tell this thing I just noticed.

I love this, you all.

So on the show Ash vs Evil Dead which picks up the story of the Evil Dead franchise from the 80s, Lucy Lawless’ Ruby apparently wrote the Necromonicon in the Evil Dead fame.

This is beyond great because Lucy, almost a decade ago, stated that she had watched the original Evil Dead and hated it:

Rotten Tomatoes: Did you see the Evil Dead movies in their time, before you married Rob?

Lawless: I didn’t see them in their time. I saw them when I was 17 and I stomped out after the first five minutes where the girl gets, shall we say, mutilated by the evil roots of the tree. I was so mortally offended that I got up and I stomped out saying, “These people are misogynists and sick and that movie’s awful.” Twelve years later, I was married to one of them. Trick of fate.

And she isn’t really wrong. The Evil Dead doesn’t shy away from the fact that their protagonist is a dick. He’s not a good guy. He is NOT a guy to aspire to be like. (They also don’t shy away from 100% calling him and showing him as a dick in the series.) The creators and stars of the original films would go on to make - you guessed it - Xena.

Ted Raimi (Joxer) Bruce Campbell (Autolycus) Rob Tapert (Lucy’s husband) and Sam Raimi (plus many others) were all the people behind it.

Fast forward a decade and a half when she’s now worked with them on a cult series of her own, married into the family, and now starring in the tv show to wrap the cult movies up.

In the first episode of the last season, we see the Necronomicon open on an episode of Antiques Roadshow (this whole series is wild, y’all) and see THIS:

See the reference?

Right there at the bottom of the page, nestled into the Necronomicon is Xena’s sword and chakram.

And THAT is how you pay tribute to a star, the journey, and come full circle.

- N Lance

[drmflm]

—summary: when he was with you, even in the cobwebs of a dusty antique shop, you would always find a reason to smile.

—pairing: hongjoong x gn!reader

—wordcount: 758

—genre: fluff

—au: antique shop

—rating: g

—warnings: none!

—note: i wanted to get this posted for joong’s bday, but i got so busy this week there wasn’t a good time to post it 😭 i hope y’all will accept this late bday present 🥺💗

—masterlist | directory

The jangly bell hanging above the rickety door startled you when you first walked in. The air smelled musty and old—the type of scent you associated with old age homes and the elderly, a nostalgic promise of ancient wonders. This was not your typical area of expertise—rather, you and your boyfriend preferred to spend the days in cozy cafés and shopping centres filled with bustling people and pop radio tunes.

Yet, antiques of all kinds were displayed in ever flat surface of the room. Dusty tapestries lined the walls, and orchestral tunes rang from a record player. Sat behind a glass case was a woman who looked twice as old as the painting behind her—a yellowed and wrinkly canvas of smile lines and snowy hair.

Hongjoong’s reaction was immediate. He sneezed upon entering, and at his blatant allergies, you giggled, handing him a tissue from a bejewelled antique tissue holder, continuing on into the disorderly space to find a new—or rather old—treasure.

The old lady at the counter didn’t greet you—perhaps it was because she could neither hear nor see your arrival—so you took it upon yourself to look around. You were directed by the many overhanging signs that said what section you were in. In some cases, where the piles of things were simply too high, you were able to take an educated guess based on whether there were fridges, clothing, or other miscellaneous objects around you.

Hongjoong eventually made his way to your side, where he picked up a dusty music box and consequently sneezed. You snorted at him before brushing it off and opening it, laughing even harder at the horrible screech of a tune it let out.

At that, you heard a shutter click, startling and turning towards Hongjoong, who had his phone out, painting at you. You didn’t mean to tense up, but you were startled and accidentally backed away.

In response, Hongjoong quickly put down his phone, immediately placing it on a dusty bookshelf, walking towards you with his arms extended, “oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I should have asked first, I’m truly sorry.”

You just blanked, “no, no, it’s okay. Why are you sorry? Pictures are meant to be memories, so if you have one of me smiling, then it means it’s a happy one. And if I can be a happy memory for you, well, then I am honoured.”

He pulled back, looking into your eyes intently, “I know, it’s just—I want you to know that I respect you and your privacy and that you always have the choice to say no.”

This was only another reason why your boyfriend was truly a marvellous human being. You could only grin wider, letting him bring you into a quick hug once more and letting go.

“I know, and that’s why I love you,” you replied, squeezing his hand gently. “But it’s okay to take pictures, I don’t mind at all. As long as you show me before you post them.”

“Of course,” he said with a grin and a wink, and you already knew he was going to post something silly later.

When he grabbed his phone off the shelf, dust coated his screen, making it so the entire way to the till, he was just a sneezing frenzy (and a terribly hilarious source of laughter).

So, he decided to go back outside to get some fresh air, and at this—while the old lady at the counter rung up your order—you looked at the music box in your hands.

And for the first time since you saw it, after brushing the dust off it once more, you noted how on the top of the box, a smiley face was engraved into the wood.

© 2022 svt117 . all rights reserved.

[courtingchaos]

Ok so, I hope you don't mind if I tweak this a little. A for the the ask game but the fic I wanna ask about is Teeth and well I think I can guess how you came up with the title for that one 😂 what i'd like to know though is how did you come up with the concept? do you already have other kinks in mind for future installments? and what appeals to you about exploring more "unusual" kinks? I'm probably asking too much I'm sorry 🙈 I just really liked that fic and found it super interesting

TEETH.

This came about because I don’t see enough of Eddie being a true blue freak. That’s a weirdo, mister and I need to see it more often. I and some other friends have spoken about teeth et large specifically JQ’s teeth and I also just really like teeth. I think they’re interesting and I like holding them. I like bones and weird shit from antique shops. So that’s how I got to that.

I have two ideas, one involving a bad dragon dildo and the other one is a knife play/blood kink thing. After that I haven’t thought past but I was thinking of asking y’all actually for some ideas down the road 😅.

I’m a huge proponent of exploring things, not just in what you might be interested in but also just so you know what’s out there? Like I’m not a watersports fan but I’ve read those fics before because sometimes they’re just well written 🤷‍♀️. I just like knowing things about other things.

But yeah I like weird shit. Lmao ❤️

[graysongraysoff]

tagged by @pyrrhlc !!!

top 3 ships: man idk uh. idk about all-time ships but i guess in terms of ships i am Actively Currently Unwell about dazai/chuuya from bungo stray dogs is probably the one that causes the most wailing and gnashing of teeth at the moment, followed closely by gojo/geto from jujutsu kaisen. then i guess probably wei wuxian/lan wangji from mo dao zu shi/the grandmaster of demonic cultivation!

first ever ship: this is so hard lol uh. i’m trying to think in terms of fandoms i’ve like actively engaged with, but the first would have been harry potter and i didn’t really ship anyone in that.... i wrote one (1) kingdom hearts fic back in the day that was a hayner/olette fic but i didn’t really engage with the fandom at all beyond that at the time. what the hell would have been next. sherlock??? was fucken johnlock my first ship??????

last song: rich girl kk cover....................

currently reading: i have been veeeeery slowly plodding through all the sherlock holmes stories via audiobook as i drift off to sleep. so far i’ve gotten through a study in scarlet, the sign of the four and the adventures of sherlock holmes, and now i’m on the memoirs of sherlock holmes. the narrator is really great and they’re wonderful books to fall asleep to, lol.

last movie: oh man i’ve been watching a lot of disney movies while i do chores and stuff just because i’ve seen most of them so many times i don’t really have to fully watch them to enjoy them, you know? the last one i watched was sleeping beauty, i’m pretty sure, which is just so pretty, god. beautiful movie.

currently consuming: a strawberry pop-tart! (toasted)

currently watching: i’m on s4 of jojo’s bizarre adventure, lmao. i was gonna take a break after i finished s3 to finally watch demon slayer s2, since jojo’s seasons are pretty self-contained, but then i decided i was gonna binge demon slayer s2 on my 8-hour train ride tomorrow and finish whatever i have left on my 8 hour train ride back on monday, and honestly i’ve been too tired after work/errands lately to start anything new, haha. so the soothing absurdity of jojo’s it is. (also let’s face it as far as anime goes it’s not one i feel like i have to be glued to the screen at all times for, which is also really nice for relaxing after work.)

currently craving: not a moment goes by when i am not craving the loving embrace of a good night’s sleep. i am also craving The Will to Write.

i would like to tag @antique-romantic @humblegoat @arealcrow @demonandthedogstar @chirpchirpmuahaha @humble-wayside-flower and YOU dear reader! but of course i know some of y’all are busy so only if you want to lol.

[xninetiestrendx]

I was tagged in a couple different get to know me doo-dads. Do y’all really want to know things about me? Oh well too late to change your mind

first tagged by @gardenerian and @heymrspatel 🧡

1. are you named after anyone? does a tv show doctor with different spelling count? my dad picked my middle name from an old schoolmate 😅

2. when was the last time you cried? last night

3. do you have kids? nope, my nephews are all i need

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? yes, we love a dry sarcasm in this house

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people? I get nervous trying to focus on one part of a person for too long idk

6. what’s your eye color? blue; but also sometimes kinda green? it depends on the day I guess

7. scary movie or happy ending? happy ending all the way. make me warm and fuzzy and weepy from joy

8. any special talents? no i am extraordinarily untalented

9. where were you born? the woodlands, tx. or to be less specific houston.

10. what are your hobbies? reading, diamond painting, video games, sleeping 😴

11. do you have any pets? my most beautiful doggie Cleo

12. what sports do you play/have you played? a little basketball in elementary school, a little tennis in middle school, and a little soccer in high school.

13. how tall are you? 5’3, I’m a small gal

14. favorite subject in school? art and history

15. dream job? pay me to silently wander through gardens and museums and antique stores. and old libraries.

And more I was tagged by @creepkinginc @sleepyfacetoughguy @mmmichyyy and @energievie 💕

relationship status: single/aspiring cat lady

favorite color: purple but I’m also having a strong love for dark green lately

three favorite foods: pizza, pasta, potatoes

top 3 tv shows: Brooklyn Nine Nine, Boy Meets World, One Tree Hill

top 3 characters: jake peralta, brooke davis, nick miller

what I’m currently reading: finally got A Marvellous Light, months after I missed it in book club

song stuck in my head: snoop dogg’s affirmation song

last movie watched: I think Moana a few weeks ago with my nephews

last thing I googled: ‘is there much math in project management’ trying to think of what courses to do next but me and math have never been friends

last song I listed to: simply the best by billianne

dream trip: Spain

time: 2:35 pm

anything I really want right now: this really big and beautiful garden diamond painting kit online

I’m late I’m late I’m late so no tags but I’m sending you all the love in the world and wishing you a beautiful rest of your week 🫶💛✨

[tm95-snarl]

Y’all, how do I use a Pokeball? I’ve never actually used one to catch a Pokémon before. My family has a rule where we don’t use Pokeballs. Prince Shade wasn’t ever caught. Purrsneakity was caught by another grunt who gave him to me. And I never used Purrsy’s ball except when I left him with Burgh.

I’m sitting here, waiting for Burgh to show up at the little cafe he said we’re meeting at. Staring at all the stuff I brought with me. The homemade taffy, mead, the scarf set I bought, some fancy battling items like a Life Orb and Leftovers - they’re all tucked away in a box that looks kind of like a Combee. I brought a box of TMs for Purrsy. I also bought a set of three fresh Pokeballs, the packaging is unopened. They are honestly intimidating!! They are the antique type made from apricorns and tumblestones, without technology. I nearly had a panic attack in the specialty Pokeball Store, there was so much variety. I ended up asking the clerk what type they thought my old fashioned family would like best, and they helped me pick them out. I am hoping my family would like the old style better! The set of three had a discount!

I know how to use TMs. I know how to use potions. Battling items. X-Items. But I don’t know how to actually catch Pokémon. I guess I can ask Burgh that later?

The herbal tea here in the cafe is very good. A mixture of energy powder, pecha berry flowers, and hibiscus! It’s just the mix of calming and bracing that I need for this meeting. I need to steal the recipe for their jam galettes.

[yanqings]

thoughts on...antiquity in fiction/ historical fiction

Ok i got a little carried away so its under the read more akdjdsjsh anyways these thoughts are based on historical fiction and apply to real places/settings

It’s terribly underutilized in the genre! most of them are either WW1/2 or set in 18-20th century Europe. like besties doesn’t this get repetitive aren’t y’all tired…. That being said, I do understand why it may seem daunting to writers. Not only is research extensive but we also have less information the further we go back in time. A lot of the knowledge is about people from the upper classes (in most civilizations, not all) and anything else is interpretation based on archaeological evidence and/oral history.

I find that it’s also kinda hard to be able to write the characters within those stories. Not because “well technically this person wasnt allowed to do that” since it’s fiction, but in dialogue! A lot of dialogue in the very few books with an ancient setting that I’ve read just sounds so off and modern or alternatively, the author overdoes it and it sounds pretentious. That immediately takes me out of the story. And regarding accuracy, I’m not gonna be a snob and expect the author to write everything true to life, especially since again, there’s a lot of room for interpretation thanks to the gaps of knowledge we have. But I do expect effort please for the love of God.

the other thoughts i have is that a lot of these types of books have very modern ideas projected onto those characters in ways that dont work or are just boring . I’ve seen a toooon of “feminist retellings” that are so bland. They’re just empty feminist book #294743827 that doesnt have a message past “men bad to women. but women can be badasses”. How much more interesting would it be to take the gender roles of that specific setting and create something new? Take the nuances that also existed back then and explore them? I guess it’s just too much to ask for -_-

[septiembrre]

It just seems really flat? And cliche? Rio feels like he’s falling way back into the Latin criminal stereotype with a resurging hint of Latin Lover~ and i don’t love that. I just feel like it’s weird that he’s narratively punished when he isn’t an active love interest for Beth

You’ve put my exact jumbled thoughts into words. They also barely acknowledge the fact he’s Latinx. Except those 2 words of spanish he spoke in S3. That’s why I love your fics so much. You’re always showing a more layered version of him 💕

Thank you!!! Looking at the character roles is really helpful to me even if it’s hella fatiguing. I was hopeful that by now there would be a better standard of representation for Latinx characters on-screen across film and tv. 

A digression on the character stereotypes: 

Charles Ramírez Berg published Latino Images in Film: Stereotypes, Subversion and Resistance in 1990 — it’s a foundational text of Latinx-American film theory/critique. In it, he explores his theory that there are six stereotypical roles that any Latinx characters in classic Hollywood and in the 70s and 80s can fit into. 

1. The “Bandito”/The Criminal (the criminalized, dangerous, lawless Latino — in Good Girls this is Rio and Mick)

2. The Harlot (the sexualized, ~spicy Latina, think Salma Hayek in any role she’s ever been in)

3 & 4. The Male Buffoon and the Female Clown (Latinx folks characterized as dumb and comedic relief, think Gael Garcia Bernal in his American roles or like anything with George Lopez. For ladies, I feel like it’s usually a Latina who is gorgeous and dumb)

5. The Latin Lover (this specifically refers to the sexualization of Latinx men and the fetishization of the sexual experience they can provide for white women — Rio in Good Girls) 

6. The Dark Lady (mysterious, traumatized and/or sad women that are visual foils to white female characters — I would argue Rhea could fall into this stereotype). 

I’m not a huge film theory nerd but I do appreciate Ramirez-Berg’s framework. It’s somehow both absurdly salient and also antiquated (it’s literally older than me). More recent Latinx film critique has argued that it’s missing the stereotypes more relevant in film post-90s/post-NAFTA/post-waves of 80s-era immigration: 

7. The Immigrant

8. The Servant/The Maid

Rio very easily falls into the stereotype of the Latinx Criminal. As his storyline progressed through the end of Season 1 onwards to Season 2, his character began to occupy a hybrid-role of Criminal/Latin Lover, too.  I would say as of 4x03, he’s at about 95% Criminal,  5% Lover. Hahahah, I guess I don’t need to break it down into percentages but I would say he still occupies a hybrid-stereotype. 

I think the word “stereotype” is universally understood as bad. But, just a reminder that stereotypes are redundant, problematic, harmful for lots of different reasons across race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and other identities -- it lands differently depending on what we’re talking about. However, a common consequence of a stereotype is that it perpetuates power dynamics for the sake of saving time or as a placeholder for on-screen characterization. For Latinx representation a common harm is lack of on-screen commitment to a character’s background — it means that Latinx end up reading as racially ambiguous and lack cultural specificity. 

Despite falling into stereotypes, Rio’s characterization on Good Girls is still net positive for me. Yes, it’s an old fucking line, but I do love that Rio is a crime boss. I also ~mostly? enjoy his toxic relationship with Beth (idk this is more contentious, but I am obviously a huge a shipper!). I think this is because despite the limitations of what is written in the scripts, Manny Montana does an incredible job of bringing nuance to the character. There are pieces of Rio that just read as so subversive to me -- like that he’s wicked smart and that he’s a good dad (sometimes). 

But, at this point in time, having just watched 4x03, I am feeling the fatigue of this ongoing problem of shitty Latinx characterization. Good Girls should do better. I’m holding out hope because there’s the promise that ~soon~ we’re going to meet a whole bunch of Latinx folks on the show??? We’re going to see his family? In this fourth glorious season, we are finally going to build out his character? We will actually learn more about his motivations? WILD.  

I just-- y’all— I am holding out judgment until we see it. I feel like 90% of what I like about Rio has been willed into existence through Manny Montana’s personal headcanons and acting choices. I would love for this show to do more to earn my trust. 

[piristephes]

A personal rant about Helios and Apollon

 Ok, we are all tired of the whole discussion about who’s the Sun-God because of the conflations they had on late antiquity. I don’t intend to contribute to that debate because 1) I think it leads nowhere in the end 2) I’m a reconstructionist, which means I’ll prefer historical accuracy first, focusing on the practices of the Attica region of Ancient Greece. 3) So y’all know I’ll treat Helios as the God of the Sun, Sight, Oaths and Apollon as the God of Light, Healing, Plagues, Prophecy and a million other things beforehand.

That being said, I think it’s completely possible to honour both and perceive them differently. Apollon came to me in my initial moments, when I was still only agnostic after a whole life of religous turmoil (Thank you, christianity). I prayed to Him with an amulet I got when I went to Rome, looking at the sun through my window with many things in my head.

 Then, I got answered. 

A dream-filled week followed after the first time I genuinely prayed to Apollon. Light, Gods and serpents entwined  inmy head everytime I went to bed in such a welcoming way...I’ll never forget.

I had found my place - I prayed and I got an answer, that was so wild to me. Gods that welcomed me with open arms, bright smiles and that wanted me to seek my own virtue, in my own path towards Arète (The daimon/goddess of excellence). 

In my first year, I wasn’t a polytheist. I guess I was some sort of neopagan devotee with witchy vibes that didn’t quite know what I was doing, I only knew that a God and I were building a relationship and it was wild. It took me a while to feel myself inclined to solidify my practice and worship properly, to find a schedule and to make it all make sense. That’s when I found Hellenic Polytheism, and Apollon (through divination and other signs) guided me to where I am, to the other Gods that were to be important in my life - Hekate, Ares, Hermes, Aphrodite, Artemis, Selene...Helios.

 So, the Lord of Light helped me on my path towards many thigns I deem important: A solid spirituality, a set of values to guide my life, philosophy and...many things.

  And as I delved deeper on polytheism, I found myself inclined to Helios too - the conflation made things a little harder to me, but it all changed when I was praying to Phoebus for some enlightment and Helios showed up not only through the Sun card, but also through my alphabetic oracle, where I got an ήτα, which bears the phrase:

“Bright Helios [Sun] {Hêlios}, who watches everything, watches you.”

And I was like: Oh, so that’s whom I’ve been feeling around me everyday too.

I made a small offering to Helios and took some more cards, looked for signs and yeah, I decided to begin honour him too - As a polytheist, as a witch (because he has SO MANY witch children in mythology, wow), as a person. Eventually I stablished that I would honour both, Apollon and Helios, as part of my lunar-month observances after the full moon, and it has been so good. 

 I devoted myself to Apollon, trying to incorporate some of His lessons in my life within many areas - my profession (I’m a psychologist), my daily basis (through some of the Delphic Maxims) and as a manteis (a diviner, someone who uses divination). Helios specially comes up in my mind whenever I consider the natural world, His role in it as a Giver of Life, also His All-Seeing nature as a God who knows a lot and has a lot to teach, as the Father of Witches and many other things. The Gods, each of Them, are complex beings with complex roles in the universe and deserve a lot of love!

 The Gods are many and they have plenty lessons to tell us. Sometimes, we approach first and sometimes, They approach us. Either way is valid!

 I wanted to share a bit of my jorney with you guys after the offering I made to Them - myrrh incense, red wine, honeyed bread and laurel leaves - because the Theoi have been so kind to me on these trying times we live in...I can only wish They are in your favour as well.

 May they guide us towards our own virtues!

 Eirene! (Peace!)

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Season Zero: The Yo-yo Crimes of Jounouchi Pt 2

OK, last we left off, we were in a different Youtube video. This one I grabbed off of 2 different videos (you’ll see their watermark in the corner change) and it makes me appreciate the quality that our other episodes have been, honestly. A little bit of compression going on in these, just to give you even more of that nostalgic feel of watching a bootleg anime from the 90′s your brother got from his weird high school friend’s Napster account.

Because this is done with subtitles on, it takes more caps to cover it. Part of why I rewrite the dialogue in these recaps is to help abridge stuff, and so consider yourself warned...there’s a lot of caps in this one. For most of you, that’s probably not much of a problem. But I’m just letting you know because...I sure wasn’t expecting it to be over 40 caps for half an episode, and I’ll probably just type less to make up for that. (Tumblr keeps Erasing All My Words anyway, so this is for the best, but that’s a tech issue I already went into in another post.)

(read more under the cut)

So, to start off, Yugioh and co. walk up to a bar like a really weird version of a bar joke and are like “do you know where we can find the yo-yo gang?” And, much like a video game npc, the bartender was like “I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about, and I heard every part of their intimate conversation. Let me give you all the details, children.”

Hey, PS, there’s an entire Wikipedia entry about the bar joke. And that is wild. Apparently the first bar joke was from Ancient Sumeria, and Wikipedia was like “Here is the Sumerian joke, but we Do Not Get it. Please don’t try to get it.”

The joke being: "A dog walked into a tavern and said, 'I can't see a thing. I'll open this one'."

Damn. I can’t believe the Sumerians were onto meme humor before we ever invented memes. They were in the Galaxy brain over there in the land before time, holy crap. Depositing their memes knowing that 7,000 years later mankind would look at the world’s first joke and be like “I don’t get it!” while all the millennials and zoomers with our MB of nonsense memes on our phones are like “No. I get it.” Good on you Sumerians, that is freakin the best joke ever made. 7000 years to get to the punch line of confusing the hell out of all us. Bless.

They promptly tell Miho that everything was resolved and that she should go to bed and she was like “Cool!” and exited stage left. Bye, I guess. Anzu also went home, but she didn’t have to be tricked into doing it, she just went the hell to bed.

(PS, I just realized that if I want to write less...I should probably not look up Wikipedia articles about the world’s first ever bar joke. But y’all, habits die so freakin hard, and I just feel like it’s very pertinent to this Yugioh recap, although I know it’s really not.)

Yuugi and Honda decide to visit the warehouse and harass Jounouchi. In the context of the show, they’re going out of their way to pull their best friend out of society’s systemic downward pull of a life of crime and most likely turning into exactly like his Father. But, the way that it’s storyboarded makes it look a lot like these kids just show up out of the corner and this gang was like “Damn it, again? OMG small children, please leave us alone!”

Honda hands over the symbolism sash, to which Jounouchi symbolically says “Nyeh.”

And Honda didn’t take it very well.

After tending to his kidneys for a little while, Honda decided to go back at it again at the Krispy Cream and do some sort of insane parkour over this completely ordinary fence.

Ah, the very first instance of real duel law where you duel over a relationship. In later seasons duel law is invoked for things like Mai’s marriage and the right to date Tea (and then just kind of forgetting you ever won the right to date Tea twice). But to think the very first time was Honda dueling for the right of Jounouchi to be part of nerd gang because Jounouchi had fallen to the dark side yo-yo gang across the street run by some 40 year old man with blue hair.

How many times is Honda gonna fight with a broom? Like are they just magnetized to his location? where are they even coming from?

Freakin janitor powers over here, put him in a Final Fantasy style RPG. I want to see what his limit break would be.

Not like it matters, because Hirotani very quickly explains why these yo-yo’s are at all a threat.

Which honestly shouldn’t be...so lethal? Seems like the weight is all you need, not really the spikes. But it’s at least stronger than Honda’s janitor stuff.

Unfortunate for Honda that he just destroyed an antique.

So with lightning reflexes, Yuugi does what he does most:

The death yo-yo ricochets back and does this little itty bitty scrape to this guy’s face and he’s real bothered by it. Although it’s like...well dude, you’re a 50 year old high schooler, I don’t think people will notice the scrape compared to everything else falling apart in your life.

And so then the Yugioh Season Zero team was like “oh shoot is it time to torture Yuugi???” and they got hella excited.

Like I thought it was just Yuugi’s class that were a bunch of disturbing criminal disasters, but I guess it’s the whole city. Like...was Yuugi’s class the good school?

I mean, it can’t be, there’s no way...

but like...is there a good school in this universe? How does anyone survive till graduation? If you so much as disgrace a yo-yo, you will get the torture treatment that I sure did expect in Yakuza games, but not so much in Yugioh, tbh.

Just a reminder: This is the third time we’ve beat up Yuugi this episode. Within the first meeting of Yuugi and Hirotani, he beat the tar out of Yuugi within eye shot of Jounouchi. So like...Jounouchi was reallllllllllllllllly lax on that deal, right? Like...he took his toot sweet time to realize “yeah this just ain’t ever gonna happen.”

And then the yo-yo wars begin.

Just like Solid Snake crawling through the radiation chamber.

Hirotani throws his Fyper-yoyo, Jounouchi intercepts with his Eireboy, and Hirotani’s completely terrible yo-yo just flies off the string again because Hirotani should have just sticked to using his fists. No wonder they wanted to recruit Jounouchi so badly, their yo-yo game is so off.

We never get a door to darkness in this episode, dipping our enemies into mind horrors. Instead, we get home-alone style traps. But, this makes sense. Not only do the show makers have to make Yuugi avoid solving problems with magic in front of Jounouchi, they also have to make it Jounouchi’s choice to leave Hirotani behind. If Yuugi did it for him in like...some sort of duel law situation...then that sort of leaves out Jounouchi’s choice in the equation.

Not like this ever really comes up in later seasons, since who even follows through with duel law and marries Mai? But like, it does feel like Season Zero calls out the later Seasons a bit in this regard. Honda got beat up because he tried to win Jounouchi back by force (or game, I guess.) That was just another form of coercion on the heels of Hirotani’s. What Jounouchi actually needed was to make his own decision to leave.

...most other anime I’d be like “I’m sure that’s just a translation error” but not this one.

So Yuugi runs to the roof where Jounouchi will never see this.

My audible sigh reading this line about fight club roof.

These stupid gang members went into Yuugi’s native territory, not just a fight club roof, but on a warehouse? They were dead before they arrived.

This was like maybe 3 frames of animation in just rapid succession, it was pretty silly and good.

Reminder that like 4 minutes ago, Yuugi was about to get like executed on a meat hook.

Speaking of getting executed on a meathook:

Hope you like the idea of glass in your eyes, because this anime’s got it.

They chase Yuugi around, in a sequence that was done mostly to conserve frames, so you rarely saw the ground until this shot:

Lots of falling down this episode, but unlike Tea, who fell from a warehouse ceiling once and just kind of rubbed her ass after and was like “ah damn it.” these guys won’t come out of it virtually unscathed.

Also, Honda is here now:

Jumping off of his symbolic sash trapeze, he decides to do in Hirotani for good.

Hey so like...walk the dog is a fairly gentle walk that a yo-yo does slowly on the ground right?

Just pointing out how sensitive Hirotani’s fingies are.

And he...didn’t appear to be dead, so I don’t have to add to the bodycount...but it’s gonna be a real long road for recovery.

And now, with the gang back together Jounouchi is back at school knee deep in make up assignments he’ll probably completely ignore since we know that in a years time, these fools are going to be trapped on Pegasus’ island, and at that point school will be just that place you talk about when you try to remember why you’re friends with Bakura.

---hey aren’t those chairs attached to the desks?

Because...holy crap, Anzu.

Honestly this is what you see before you die, but I guess Jounouchi died off screen after the episode ended, so I don’t have to add him to the deathcount (again). RIP.

Alright! That took like...8 tries to get Tumblr to save this one, but it managed! (well...I guess “managed” isn’t the word you’d use for a typing program that takes 8 tries to save)

Next time, we’ll be back to S5, for an arc I’ve heard is kind of boring. We’ll see. If it truly is, I can condense episodes into fewer posts. Or maybe it’s a secret gem? I guess we shall see.

And if you just got here this is a link to read all the Season Zero recaps from the start:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yuugi-muto/chrono

(there’s also a link to read all the Yugioh posts we wrote from the start in chrono order but straight up, this file won’t freakin save, and I just can’t even will myself to look up that link again. It’s on the home page of this blog on the right.)

[babeyvenus]

The Wolf Among Us

Bigby x OC

Summary: Sonya Blaze, A.K.A. Hell Rider, is a half fable, half mundy girl who comes to Fabletown to learn more about her side of the folktales. She works alongside Sheriff Bigby Wolf's as his newest partner and together they strive to find out who's behind the unexpected murders in Fabletown.

TW: Mentions of death, gore/blood, alcohol, smoking, drugs, sex implications, suicide, guns and ofc language.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Chapter 14: Jersey Devil

They walked down the hall to the sound of shouting. “And you didn’t want to tell me what you were into, either!!”, they hear Beast yell.

“With good reason. Look what happened.”, Beauty argues.

“So that’s back on me now? I thought we agreed that was settled.”, said Beast.

Sonya looked over at Bigby, “What’s going on with them?” Bigby sighs. “When I went to the Open Arms, I found Beauty at the front desk and when we were about to open Crane’s room, Beast showed up. Wasn’t listening to a word. We fought and that was that.”

“Jesus… he’s completely different from what I imagined him to be.”, she says.

“You said it was settled. That doesn’t mean I have to agree to it.”, Beauty said, as they walked up to the door. “And when were you going to tell me? Or were you going to keep that a secret too?”, Beast asked.

“You know what it was. You know what was going on, Beast. I had to get a job, and you wouldn’t have it. Don’t make it into something it wasn’t.”, Beauty harshly whispered. The two outside awkwardly glanced at before Bigby knocked on the door.

The door swings open a bit to reveal an irritated Beast. “Oh. What do you want?”, Beast asked, his mood even more sour. “You called, right?”, Bigby asked. “Or, uh….was it Beauty?”

“Why would I call you?”, Beast sneered. Sonya rolled her eyes. ‘He’s definitely different from Disney’s version…’ Bigby frowned. “Listen, I’ve had a shitty night…”

“You think you’re the only one?”, Beast asked. “And we really don’t wanna deal with the runaround. Snow said you called and wanted to talk to us.”, Bigby adds. “Well, I didn’t call. Must have been Beauty. She’s been….surprising me a lot lately.”, Beast says, looking down.

“Can we just-”

“So have you, Bigby. Yet, with all the sneaking around and secrets, somehow, I’m still the bad guy in this. I’ve had to hear about it all night long from her.”, Beast said. He glared at Sonya as well. “You too. You had no reason to lie to me.”

Sonya gave him an unimpressed look. “I dunno if you've noticed but we’re not marriage counselors.”

Beast wanted to retaliate but Beauty cut him off. “Who is it?”

“Can you just let us in.”, Sonya sighed. “Let’s not get into busting down doors today, okay?”, Bigby asks, with arched eyebrows, Beast growls a sigh and slams the door shut.

Bigby and Sonya looked at each other before the door was yanked open again. “It’s your pals. Bigby and Sonya.”, Beast mocked.

Beauty gave them an apologetic smile. “Hi guys. Please excuse us for just a minute?” She walks over to Beast. “Can I talk to you in private?”

“Yes. Let’s.”, Beast said, leading them into a room and shutting the door. Sonya shakes her head. “Hm. I guess I really do have the smallest apartment in the Woodlands.”, Bigby mutters. “At least yours isn’t cramped. I still think its unfair.”, she muttered.

There was a large couch and two chairs set around a table in the middle of the room. Behind the couch was a fireplace with vases on top of it.

There was a shelf with books and fancy objects on it. There was also a large portrait painting of Beauty and Beast back in the Homelands.

“They actually look happy…”, Sonya mutters and looks up at the ceiling and sees a beautiful chandelier. “Wonder what the electric bill is for that thing?”, Bigby mutters. He walks over a white urn with blue roses designs around it, tapping it with his knuckles. Sonya’s eyes widened. “Stop it. It looks antique.”

They turn to Beast and Beauty as they walk out of the room. “Sorry, it’s been a long night.”, Beauty apologizes.

“Yeah, you know what they say. Centuries of marriage come with centuries of baggage.”, Beast said, making Sonya cross her arms. “I gotta say, your place…it looks, uh…expensive.”, Bigby says as he looks around. “What do you mean by that?” Beast asked, offended.

“Beast!”, Beauty says in a warning tone. “No, really, I wanna know. What are you trying to say, huh?”, Beast asked.

“Aren’t you guys having money problems? Cause it doesn't look like you’re suffering.”, Sonya said, getting in front of Beast. “Is this something about that loan you took out? From the Crooked Man?”, Bigby asked Beauty.

“I didn’t know what else to do, so–”

“We should deal with this on our own. Bigby and Sonya are just going to complicate things.”, Beast says to Beauty. “I called them here, and I want to see if they can help us out. Why are you being like this?”, Beauty asked, tired.

“I’m just trying to do what’s best for us.”, Beast says.

“If she wanted to help you guys earn more money, what’s the harm? Y’all are obviously in some type of trouble, so what is it? Either it’s the money, or it’s something else.”, Sonya asked.

The married couple glanced at each other before looking back at them. “I gotta know one thing, first. What if we did have something to say about the Crooked Man? What if we talk, and neither of you get him and all this comes back on us? We’d be risking a lot. We’ve seen what happens when you cross the Crooked Man.”, Beast said.

Sonya frowned. “Y’all are in danger. You two need to tell us what we need to know so we can help.”, she said, tiredly.

“But if you’d rather deal with this on your own…”, Bigby started. “No, please...”, Beauty pleads. “Then tell us what the fuck is going on! You’re in so much debt? Look around you. This isn’t the way people short on cash live.”, Bigby yelled, pointing at the room.

“Look, we’re used to a certain kind of….lifestyle, okay? We couldn’t just give that up.” Beast replied. “We never meant for it to get like this. It’s just that…we had nowhere else to turn. And we got in over our heads.” said Beauty.

“Sometimes you have to think for your needs rather than your wants. Y’all would rather choose riches and starve if it meant y’all could live the way you used to.”, Sonya says, shaking her head.

"There’s not a lot of work out there. Who would we be if we just lived like…”, Beast started to say but their phone suddenly rang.

Sonya and Bigby turn to look at it while Beauty and Beast hold each other in fear. The phone rings until it goes to voicemail.

“Hi there! You’ve reached Beauty…

and Beast

and we’re out doing something fabulous.”

“Uh, let me just, uh….”, Beast walks towards the phone but Sonya gives him a fixed look. “We’re not done here.”, Bigby said.

“A day at the beach?

skiing the slopes?

We can’t come to the phone right now, so leave a message at the beep and we will get to you as…..humanly possible!”

The recording finishes and a deep gravelly voice comes through the speaker, angry and aggressive. “That fucking message... I’m gonna come down there and bash your heads in with that machine if I have to call again and hear that fucking message one more time! I’ve been doing this long enough to know that if you had the cash, you’d have paid by now. So consider yourselves outta warnings. The Crooked Man’s gonna get his. One way or—”

“Fuck this….”, Bigby said as he goes to pick up the phone but the phone already hung up. “Shit.”, he mutters and he sets the phone back down. Sonya turned to the couple. “All we care about is how can we find the Crooked Man? Who do we talk to? Where do we go?”

Beauty and Beast look at each other for a moment as they hold each other. “The Lucky Pawn. That’s where I borrowed the money. The Crooked Man’s behind that place.”, Beauty whimpered. “I’d overheard people talking to Jersey about loans before. So….when I needed money….that’s where I went. I didn’t know what to do.”

“Wait, who do you deal with?”, Bigby asked. “Jersey. You know, the Jersey Devil?”, Beauty said. “Jersey Devil…?”, Sonya asks. “Oh, yeah…", Bigby said. "That slimy prick…..didn’t realize he was back on this side of the river.”

“And those Tweedles were always going in and out, probably dropping off a loan payment they squeezed out of some poor Fable. But never the Crooked Man. Mainly it’s just regular Fables. I can see now that it was a mistake, but….I’m not the only one who goes there, y'know. I saw the Woodsman’s axe there just the other day. It was in a display case.”, Beauty said, making Bigby and Sonya glance at each other in shock.

“I guess he’s hit hard times, too. There’s a lot of that going around. I can’t imagine he has a lot of marketable skills.”, Beast said.

“Sometimes….Fables just don’t have anywhere else to go.” Beauty said. “Fucking Bloody Mary must go through there. She had Woody’s axe last night. Tried to chop my damn head off with it!” Bigby growled.

“Maybe if you two go there you can….sort some things out.”, Beauty said. “I guess we’ll go check out the Lucky Pawn.”, Sonya sighed.

“If we can’t track down the Crooked Man there, maybe we can make enough noise that the Crooked Man will come find us.”, Bigby suggested. “Hold on, Bigby, don’t go there. Sounds like you two are just going to get Beauty in trouble.” Beast says.

He sat down on the couch. “You know that butcher shop? The Cut Above? It’s the place on Tubman Street. Same block as the Baker and the candlestick maker. Well, I’ve been delivering packages from there for a while. The thing is….it’s for the Crooked Man. And….I don’t think it’s meat in the packages. You gotta understand, I needed work.”

“You have to believe us.”, Beauty begged. “Did you ever deliver to the Crooked Man? Can you give us an address?”, Sonya asked.

"No. I delivered to places all over town. But never to the man himself. It never seems to be heading to the same place. But it always comes out of the butcher shop.“, Beast replied.

"How did you get involved with this?”, Bigby asked.

“Johann, the butcher, called. He had a problem with the refrigeration unit one night. But when I finished, it was your pal, Mary, who showed up to pay me. She said I was reliable, she liked that, and….it’s the only thing I’ve been able to pick up. And it’s still not enough. I don’t want Beauty to have to work. Especially not where she was.”. Beast says, looking down.

“It’s Mary you deal with? Bloody Mary is there?”, Sonya asked. “No, Johann is the one who hands over the packages. You know, day to day. But I’ve seen her around there. She, uh…gets under my skin, you know? I…I try to avoid her…but I don’t need to tell you two what she’s like.” Beast said.

“You’re damn right you don’t. I don’t need a run down on her reputation. If Mary works outta there, Sonya and I need to look into it…”, Bigby said.

Beauty walks over to Beast and places her hand over his. “I just wanted to provide for Beauty. Give her the kind of life she deserves.”, Beast said. “We shouldn’t have to live like this. Scraping to get by.” said Beauty.

“None of us should.”, Beast says, getting up. “We were royalty once. We were accustomed to a certain lifestyle. All we want is to make this place feel a little bit like home. You two wouldn’t understand, Bigby.”

“I don’t need to understand. It’s not my fucking job to understand. My job is to keep Fabletown safe.”, Bigby addressed.

“There’s also other Fables out there who are worse off than you two. Have you ever thought about that? I’m pretty sure lots of fables would love to have almost everything you have in here.”, Sonya said to them.

Beast sighs. “So….where are you going? If this all goes sideways, I’d like to know where it’s coming from.”

Sonya and Bigby glance at each other. “I’m down for whatever.”, she says. Bigby nods. “We’ll go to the Lucky Pawn. There’s too much going on there to ignore. We’ll have a word or two with Jersey.”, Bigby said.

“You know, guys, once you two show your face there, word is going to get out. There may be nothing left to see if you go to the butcher shop after.”, Beast said.

“We’ll keep that in mind.”, Sonya said as Bigby walks to the door and opens it. Sonya exits and he follows her.

“Wait….I don’t know what you two are planning to do when you find the Crooked Man, but is there any way you two could….help us out?”, Beast asked, following to ask. They pause.

“What do you mean?”, Sonya asks. “Well, maybe you two can make this all just….go away.”, Beast suggested. “We would really appreciate it.”, Beauty adds.

“You’re asking us to kill him, aren’t you? Is that what you think we do?”, Bigby asked them, getting angry. “No! Of course not.”, Beauty shakes her head.

“I don’t know how you’d get that idea. We just….we know that the Crooked Man is dangerous. To all of Fabletown.”, Beast said.

“I just wanna know something. Even if it came to that…. which at this point, it would be self defense after everything he’s put us through, what would y’all say? How would you feel? Would you be afraid? Relieved?”, Sonya asked, making them look at her. “Because if we do, end him… I don’t wanna hear that y’all are afraid that y’all would be next.”, she says, making them look down.

“If you’re not doing anything remotely similar to the Crooked man, you have nothing to worry about. We’re gonna do our job.”, she says and turns away. “Lucky for you, that might just solve your problems anyway.”, she said, walking away.

“Thank you, guys.” Beauty calls out after them. “I’m sure you guys will do the right thing.”, Beast adds. Bigby and Sonya ride the elevator down to the lobby.

The Lucky Pawn

Sonya and Bigby looked at the rickety old building before walking in. “It’s dirty.”, they hear.

“No it’s not.”

They look over to see Toad arguing with Jack as he tries to trade in a familiar brown coat. “It looks like you slept in it. In a pile of garbage.”, Jack argues as he looks at the cloak.

“Jack, why are you– I’ve seen you take a torn purse for a tenner!”, Toad shouted. “Yeah, but I also got her phone number. I don’t want your phone number.”, Jack said, shaking his head and he looked over to see them walking towards him.

“Here we go...”, he sighed. “What?”, Toad asked and turns around to see Sonya and Bigby. “This is a surprise.”, Toad said.

“We’re just here for information. It’s about the murders.”, Bigby rolls his eyes. “This’ll take two minutes and I’ll be out your way.”, Toad said.

“I’m not taking the coat.”, Jack repeats. “But it’s magic.”, Toad said. "So?“, Jack asked, shrugging. "And it’d be covering a check I already wrote.”, Toad says.

“Okay, well….that sounds like a you problem to me.” said Jack. “Yeah, it is! And so I came here to sell it off!”, Toad shouts. Sonya sighed and noticed the coat, her eyes widened. “Isn't that Faith's coat?”

“It was Faith’s coat.”, Toad says. “Look, you left it in my place, what’d you expect me to do?”

“Yes, I think the oft-cited statute of finders keepers clearly states that it’s his now, Miss Sonya.” Jack said, smirking. Sonya clenches her jaw and gives Bigby a look. He only sighed through his nose.

“So what’s it gonna be?”, Toad asked Jack again. “I don’t know what to tell ya. See if Cindy needs a coat, I don’t know.”, Jack said and Toad let out a frustrated sigh.

He turns to the other two. “This is to pay for those bloody glamours, you know. You and your blinkered rules. If the witches didn’t charge so fuckin’ much…I wouldn’t have to be in here, dealing with this nonsense."

Sonya frowned and crossed her arms, “What happened to the money I gave you?” Toad looked down. “Please don’t tell me you spent it on some new car accessory.”, Bigby says, frowning.

"What are you even complainin’ to them, for?”, Jack asked. “I guess I don’t know.”, Toad said, shrugging. “I don’t know what you’re gettin’ so steamed about….it shouldn’t be that big of a shock that I’m not going to take an ass-hair coat.”, Jack shook his head.

“No, I guess it shouldn’t be….since this whole bleedin’ operation’s just a set-up for one of his shady fuckin’ loans.”, Toad shouts in anger, making Jack’s eyes widen, as he glances at Bigby and Sonya. “Ix-nay on the oan-lays. Okay, og-fray?”, Jack whispered to him. “I mean, what kind of a game are you runnin’ here?”, Toad asked.

“Toad–”

“You turn down peoples’ stuff so you can peddle his shit?”, Toad asked. “We know who you’re talking about.”, Bigby said, crossing his arms. “Um, Og-Fray?”, he asked, pointing at Toad.

“The Crooked Man. Right? This is his place. Those are his loans.”, Sonya said, also crossing her arms. Toad smiles mischievously and grabs the coat. “Well, I’ll leave you to your business….I’m sure you’ll have a lot to talk about.”

“Good luck with that glamour, Toad.”, Jack sneers as Toad starts to walk away. “Fuck off.”, Toad shouts at him. “Leave the coat.”, Bigby ordered firmly.

“How the hell do you expect me to get a glamour, then?”, Toad asked, throwing the coat down on the floor. “It’s not like I’ve got a lot of options, you know. It’s just tough, is all.“

“Just do what I fuckin’ say, alright?”, Bigby said, getting irritated. “Leave the coat. Find another way.”

“Fine! I’m leaving…but I’m taking the coat with me!”, Toad said, angrily. Sonya sighed, pulling the wad of cash from her pocket. Bigby looked at her. “Where the hell did you get that?”

She gave him a guilty smile and handed it to Toad. “However much it costs, its worth it, Toad. Just go get your glamour, if not for you then do it for T.J. Please.”, she said, exasperated. Toad sighs and snatches the wad before leaving. Jack smiles and waves. “Have a good day.”

“He really grows in ya.”, Jack said, smiling. Bigby and Sonya face him, making him frightened. "Look, I work here sometimes for the extra cash. It’s something stable. You know, between more….entrepreneurial bouts. And…before either of you ask, I’ve never seen the Crooked Man in here. Neither hide nor hair, and all that. In fact, as far as I can tell, he’s never even actually stepped foot in here.“, Jack explained.

"But Bloody Mary works for him. And the last time we saw her, she had the Woodsman’s axe.”, Bigby said, leaning on the counter, glaring at Jack. “So?”, Jack asked, nervously. “So, the last time anybody else saw that axe….it was here.”, Sonya said.

“We’d never take something like that.”, Jack said. “Bullshit.”, Sonya says, surprising Jack. “Is this really why you two came down here?”, Jack asked, nervously. “We’ll be asking the questions here, Jack.”, Bigby said, shutting him up. “Okay. Fine. Fire away.”, Jack said.

“Where’s your boss? Why isn’t he here?”, Bigby asked. “I don’t know?”, Jack says. “You know something, so where is he?”, Sonya asked.

“I dunno, I don’t keep tabs on him. He’s probably out getting shit faced and eating cows right now. Listen, I gotta start closing up shop, so, uh–”, Jack said as he walked out from behind the counter.

“Close? It’s the middle of the day.”, Bigby pointed out. "What can I say, Jersey likes to run at odd hours. And, really, he’d be the one to talk to, so….can’t you two just swing by later. It really wouldn’t be good for me if he sees your faces when he walks in. So, uh…“, Jack said .

"What else can you tell us about Jersey Devil?” Bigby asked. “Just that he’s a fuckin’ psycho and I like to stay out of his way. I typically work when he’s not here. But I can call you when he comes back, alright?”, Jack says.

"Jack, shut up.”, Sonya said. “If the Jersey Devil isn’t here to answer our questions….it also means he isn’t here to get in our way. So, we’re gonna take a look around…as long as we’ve got the elbow room.”

“Alright. Don’t let me get in your way.”, Jack said, locking up. “We won’t.”, Bigby said, walking over to a different side of the room.

Bigby walked up to a small statue of the Headless Horseman that was on the far left of the room. “The Headless Horseman? Isn’t this Crane’s?”, Bigby asked. “Maybe? I don’t know.”, Jack shrugged.

Bigby rolled his eyes, walked next to the table and saw a familiar dagger. “This is Prince Lawrence’s dagger. Who sold this?”, he says, catching Sonya's attention.

“I don’t know.”, Jack repeated, shrugging. “Who would have done that? One of the Tweedles….”, Sonya mumbled. “Whoever did it, must’ve needed the money bad. Which shouldn’t come as a total shock. You guys don’t know how hard most of us have it….do you?", Jack asks.

"Yeah? If you had our job, you wouldn’t get out of bed.”, Bigby growled. “It was a rhetorical question….but sure, fine.”, Jack rolled his eyes.

"At least you aren't dead.", Sonya says as she looks through all of the significant objects in the display cases. Nothing out of the ordinary. Bigby walks over to a display that caught his eyes. Cleaving Axe.

Previous owner: The Woodsman

Ensorcelled by Druids

His chest rumbled with a growl as he turned to Jack. “I thought you said you’d never take something like this.", Bigby growls. Sonya looks up to see Bigby storm over to Jack angrily.

“Um….um, what?” Jack stammered, nervously. “Jack?”, Bigby asked. “Uh, yeah?”, Jack replied, nervously again.

“When was Mary here?” Bigby asked him, raising an eyebrow. “When was who here?” Jack said. Sonya rolled her eyes. "Please don't play dumb."

“Bloody Mary. Because the axe was here….but it’s gone. And she had it. So she was here.”, Bigby said.

“I don’t know anything about that.”, Jack said, stepping back. “I don’t. Really.”

Bigby pulls up the little hatch table, and stalks over to Jack like a predator. “I mean, I don’t work every day, so….and even when I do work, I just try and keep my head down.”, Jack rambles.

Sonya crosses her arms. "You'd be no better than Georgie. Looking away because you got your cut and don't care about innocent people getting hurt. It's bullshit."

Bigby growled loudly, making Jack flinch. "Okay, okay! It was Mary, she took it, okay. That’s all I know!”, Jack exclaimed.

“That’s all you know? You don’t know she almost fucking killed me with it last night!?”, Bigby snarled. “No, no, I had no goddamned idea! She sometimes comes in to pick up shit. Sometimes it’s for her….”, Jack said.

“You know where she lives? Where she took it?”, Sonya asked. “I don’t know where that crazy chick lives, and I don’t wanna know.”, Jack said, shaking his head.

“Well, for your sake, you better think of something to tell us.”, Bigby growled. “That’s all I can tell you. I’m being straight here! I’m just part-time. I mean, it’s Jersey who’s the one who’s into this stuff! He’s one of the Crooked Man’s boys, okay? And it’d be great if he was here to tell you all this, but he’s not, so just–”, Jack was cut off by two extra voices from outside.

"Shit....“, Sonya mutters. "Jersey, don’t give me that shit. What the fuck is the point of havin’ a system if you’re just gonna–”

“It’s not my fuckin’ system.”

“But you’re the guy who makes sure that–”

“I’m the guy that keeps shit in order and that’s it, Woody.”

Bigby ducks down and Sonya ducks behind another display case, watching as Woody and another man walk in the building and see the gate was pulled down. “Who closed the fucking gate? Jack?”, Jersey called, irritated.

He pulls up the gate, revealing himself clearly. He was a balding, gingered man with a thick mustache. He turns to face Woody. “If you love your axe so fuckin’ much, why’d you pawn it in the first fuckin’ place, huh?”

“I didn’t pawn it, asshole. It was stolen from my apartment. And Gren said that he saw it here. Now tell me where it is right fuckin’ now.”, Woody demanded.

Sonya and Bigby, reveal themselves, walking over to the two arguing men.

“Whatcha guys arguing about?", Sonya asked with a smile. Jersey jumps looking behind him and rolls his eyes. “God. And these fuckin’ guys, too?”

“Bigby? Sonya? What are you–”, Woody started to ask but Jersey cuts him off as he looks at Jack. “Is his axe even here?”, he asked. “Nope. It isn’t.”, Jack shook his head.

“Just like I said, it’s not here. Happy?”, Jersey asks and walks over to Sonya and Bigby. “So tell me what you two are here for, or get the fuck out."

"Uh….they wanted to know where–”

“Actually, you know what, I don’t care what they wanted.”, Jersey said, interrupting Jack, smirking.

Sonya rolls her eyes. "Such a salesman." Bigby walked up. “You work with the Crooked Man.”, he said firmly. “And until we give you permission…you’re not gonna do anything but answer our questions.”

Jersey glanced at Bigby's arm. “How’s your arm, Sheriff? Bloody Mary leaves a bit of a sting, don’t she?”

He turned to Jack. “Jack, did you know that as of this very morning, Bigby's joined the Crooked Man’s obedience school for wayward fucking creatures? He’s already passed his first class. You see….the Sheriff and the Deputy had, who they stupidly thought was the murderer….been chasing him for fuckin’ days, right? But the Crooked Man snapped his bony fingers….and these two handed him over just…like…that.”

“I’m, uh, just gonna, uh…let you three…you know….”, Jack said, backing away and leaving.

“The Crooked Man appreciated that.”, Jersey said, making them glare at him. “Tell us everything you know right now about the murders, and the Crooked Man.”, Bigby ordered.

“Are you kidding me! It was here. It was right fuckin’ here! What’d you do with it!?”, Woody shouted as he got in Jersey’s face. “How the fuck do I know?”, Jersey asked.

“Listen, you bald little dipshit, you’re gonna–”, Woody started to threaten, grasping Jersey by his shirt but Jersey punches Woody in the stomach. Woody groans and growled at him. “You piece of shit.” Wood throws a punch, making Jersey retaliate.

Bigby moved Sonya out of the way and got in between them, shoving them away from each other. “Back it up, Jersey. You’re dealing with us, now.”, Bigby said, facing Jersey as he gets in front of Woody.

“I didn’t expect to see you upright. Still looking for whoever killed them hookers or are you done chasing your tail?”, Jersey asked.

“Where’s my axe! Who’d you give it to!”, Woody yelled. “You follow me here all the way from Battery fucking Park…just so I can prove to you that your axe isn’t here…and you think I’m gonna take another inch of abuse-”, Jersey started fussing.

“Hey! Back off and settle down!” Bigby ordered. “Oh what the fuck are you gonna do? You talk big, but I don’t think you got the stones to back it up.”, Jersey said to Bigby as he punched Bigby in the side where he was injured.

“Bigby!”, Sonya exclaimed, watching him double over in pain. “Still a little sore, are we?” Jersey asked Bigby. “Why should Mary get all the fun? You ain’t so tough.”

Sonya silently walks behind him as he continues to put Bigby down. “Ya know what? I’m just gonna handle you myself….and I won’t need no silver bullets.”

Sonya grabbed him and slammed him against the glass display cases. He yells in pain as she grabs his head and slams it against the case.

“Motherfucker!”, he grumbles as she slams his head against it again and the glass breaks and his face hits the crystal ball.

She grimaced as she pulled his head back, seeing pieces of the crystal ball impaled in his face. “What the hell are you doing?”, Woody yells, pulling her off of Jersey. “This is my fucking fight!”

“Get your hands off of her!”, Bigby yelled, snatching Sonya away. “Dog, you got a lotta nerve–”, Woody shouted but a strange noise made them look over to see a tall, skeletal creature. It almost looked like a skinwalker. Sonya's eyes widened. "That's Jersey…?", she whispered.

He roars at them, making their eyes widen. Woody charges at him but Jersey simply smacks him to the side and starts to charge at Bigby and Sonya but Woody holds on to Jersey’s arm and pulls him down.

Jersey gets on top of Woody and starts to claw at him repeatedly. Bigby runs up to them and punt kicks Jersey over the glass counter and knocks him towards the back and hits a closet.

Bigby changed to his first form, cracking his neck as he stood in a defensive stance. “Aww, protecting your girlie friend….too bad you couldn’t protect those whores.”, Jersey said, tauntingly as he climbed up on the counter. “Go on, try to stop me!”

He jumps off the table and charges towards them but Bigby raises his clawed hand and shoves his claw into Jersey, slamming him down on the floor.

“Fucking stay down!”, Bigby snarled. Woody gets up and looks at the open, broken closet and sees his axe. “There she is!”, he said, satisfied.

Sonya and Bigby kicked Jersey to the floor and ran over to him, as he landed near the front door. They grabbed the gates and slammed it down on the back of his neck.

Jersey screams as they pull it up then start to slam it back down but Jersey grabs it and shoves it up. He starts to claw at them but they jump away from his attacks.

Bigby punches Jersey in the face repeatedly before Jersey lowers his head and tries to shove his horns into Bigby. Bigby dodges Jersey's horns and grabs one, tugging it out of Jersey’s head then shoves it into his stomach. Jersey screams in pain then shoves Bigby against the display case.

Bigby groans in pain as Jersey jumps in front of him then shoves one of his clawed hands into Bigby’s injured arm. Bigby yells in pain. “Fucker!"

Jersey shoves his claw deeper into Bigby’s arm and Sonya jumps on Jersey’s back, lighting her hands on fire and burning his neck. Jersey screams out in pain, pulling his claw out of Bigby.

Sonya increased her heat, nearly gagging at the burnt smell before she's pulled off of Jersey's back and slammed onto the floor. Sonya's eyes widened as her breath was knocked out of her.

"Hey asshole. I found her.”, Woody announces before slamming his axe down into Jersey’s head. Jersey lets out a shriek of pain and he slaps Woody to the side and tries to pull the axe out.

Bigby looks next to him and picks up an anvil, raises it above his head then slammed it down on Jersey, knocking him down on the floor.

Bigby pushes the anvil to the side, reverting back to his human form and helps Sonya stand. She looks at his arm. “You okay?”, she asked. “More or less. You?”, he said, shrugging. "More or less.", she smiled, catching her breath.

Woody walks over to Jersey, yanking his axe out of Jersey’s head. He hovers the axe over Jersey’s neck and he looks up at Bigby and nods. Bigby squats down next to Jersey. “So…..wanna try again?”

“You can’t find the Crooked Man. No one can. There’s no address, no place….he lives in the bends and forks of tree roots….behind the sun….in the….shadows.”, Jersey says. “You know more so tell us.”, Sonya ordered.

“The door to his house….it bounces around. Never in one spot. You’ll never find it. Even Crane had to use the Magic Mirror….that fuckin’ guy. Mirror, Mirror…fuckin’ shit…”, Jersey grumbles. “Okay, that’s Crane’s way….how do you contact him?”, Bigby asked him.

“I don’t. He uses couriers for everything. Ravens, goblins, the fuckin’ Tweedles…whatever. I go in when I’m taken there. You don’t know anything….about anything, do you? What do you have? Nothin’. That useless bitch, Snow White, and a broken fuckin’ mirror….no fuckin’ friends. And no clue about who is really runnin’ this town.”, Jersey said.

Sonya grabs his arm, sizzling his wrist and watching him struggle in pain. "You're going round and round with our question. You and everyone we've met up 'til now have said the exact same thing. We're asking questions for a reason. So answer them." She lets go. “Now, where did you hear that the mirror got broken?”

“Oh. That. Gossip flies fast. We’re like a sewing circle. It doesn’t matter what you fuckin’ do, you’re not gonna get him. You two wanna knock on his fuckin’ door and see what happens? Fine. Crane had the Mirror. Bloody Mary had Crane. So take your fucking wrecking crew act to the butcher shop.”, Jersey says.

“The Cut Above.”, Bigby mutters, remembering Beast's words. “And if we can find the mirror piece there, we can find the Crooked Man.”

“That’s her spot. That’s where all the magic happens….”, Jersey says as Woody backs away and takes his axe away from his neck. Jersey begins to crawl back. “Now leave me so I can find me some aspirin.”, he says, only to fall face down on the floor.

“Will Mary be there?”, Bigby asked Jersey. “You want me to draw you a picture? I don’t fucking know….you got what you want, now get the fuck outta here….”, Jersey ordered.

Sonya sighed, glancing at Bigby as he glanced at her before starting to leave. Jersey speaks up again. “Hey…Sheriff….Deputy."

Both of them stop, hearing Jersey out. "Those girls are still dead….and there’s nothin’ you two can do to bring them back. And I don’t know what they did, but I do know this… if they’re dead, it’s cause the Crooked Man wanted them dead. That’s all it takes. So you can roar, smash the place up. Shit, you can wail on me all you want, but what good is it gonna do ya? Cause he ain’t in your town. You’re in his.”

Bigby growls lowly, turns around and kicks Jersey in the face, making him yell in pain. “Just shut the fuck up, will ya?”, Bigby said, turning back around, and leading Sonya and Woody out of the shop.

Bigby pulls out a cigarette, making Sonya turn away. “Got a smoke?”, Woody asked him. Bigby lights his cigarette and hands it to Woody, before lighting another one up for himself. “Thanks.”, Woody said, taking a drag. “Shitty brand.”

Bigby side eyed him. “You’re welcome.” Sonya waved her hand to dispel the smoke.

“I’m not gonna lie, I was having trouble deciding which one of you to hit with this thing.” Woody said to Bigby. Sonya gaped at Woody, making Bigby shake his head. Bigby drops the cigarette and squishes it under his shoe.

Sonya waved a cab down and waited as it came up. She climbs in first, waiting on Bigby. Bigby starts to follow suit but Woody calls him. “Jersey was wrong, you know.”

“About what?”, Bigby asked.

“About those girls. There is somethin’ you two can do about it. You can get the fucker who did it. Ain’t that the plan?”, Woody asked.

“You're damn right it is.”, Bigby says, smiling. “Alright. Well….go do it, then.”, Woody says before he starts walking away. Bigby stands outside the cab, looking at the retreating man. “Hey Woody.”

Woody stops, keeping his back faced toward the other man. “Yeah?”

“I’ll see you around, alright?”, Bigby said. Woody turns his head to look at Bigby over his shoulder. “Yeah, I’ll see ya.”, he says and finally walks away. Bigby looks down for a moment then he climbs in the cab, sighing softly.

Sonya smiled at him. "You guys have such great teamwork. You'd think you'd wanna stop fighting each other."

"That's practically all I wanna do. But sometimes he makes it hard to get along with him.", Bigby mutters. She nodded. "He is pretty difficult to deal with… ", she mumbles, sleepily.

He noticed and sat up a bit. "You can sleep, y'know. It'll be a bit of a while before we get there." She yawned and nodded. "I think I will..."

She let her eyes close and seconds later, she's out. He smiles, leaning his head back against his seat. He jumps a bit to feel a little weight leaning on him and sees Sonya leaning against him, sound asleep.

He stares at her for a moment then relaxes as she snuggles into him a bit. He felt light. She didn't wake up and pull away as if he were something disgusting. She was the opposite of anyone that even remotely showed him any kindness.

She always seemed so comfortable with him. Never tiptoeing around him or doing things for him out of fear or pity.

She never made him feel like a ticking time bomb and even defended him countless of times. It made his heart swell in a strange way he's never felt before but it made him comfortable enough to accept it.

[crimsonwolfie]

Best Mistake Part 2 — Hamish Duke x Reader

Requested by @shania122600 and many more!

Prompt: The Reader (a Succubus) returns for her love, Hamish Duke, for one steamy night ;)

I haven’t proofread this as it’s 2am and i knew y’all wanted this, i kept you waiting long enough (really sorry!!) but i hope this makes up for it 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

Warnings: smut and fluff :)

Word count: 3.639

Masterlist

Best Mistake Part 1

Tossing and turning, Hamish Duke kicks his legs out from under the duvet cover. Sweat beads drip from his forehead as his grey T-shirt sticks to his hot, sweaty body. Murmuring and groaning, he fidgets from side to side, clearly in and out of sleep.

The window is opened slightly, letting the white netted curtains to dance delicately in the breeze of the wind. Hamish stirs as the breeze hits his scorching hot skin, invigorating him. His lashes flutter as his eyes open gently, squinting as the moonlight shines a beam so bright onto his face. The covers are a heap and the air is thick, muggy with heat...evocation. Hamish sits up with one hand holding his head, rubbing his eyes, whilst leaning on the other hand that holds his weight.

The room is cold against his skin as shivers run up and down his spine like a marathon. He sighs, looking around the almost empty room that surrounds him. The room has an antique tone to it; walls painted an off-white with a singular wall painted a brewing crimson colour, with an unusual tile bordering of moons, stars and other symbols of some sort lining the top of the walls. A window, rectangle and fairly big, is seen beside Hamish. With nothing but the bed, a small wardrobe, a thin nightstand and an armchair in the corner (which is covered in clothes), the room seems fairly new...cosy. It’s minimal, but just right.

Although it’s summer, there’s still a bitter coldness in the air. Not just in temperature, but in ambience. An indescribable coldness that’s descended from somewhere unknown, somewhere utterly dark and unwelcoming.

Hamish wipes his forehead of sweat, pushing his ever-growing hair out of his eyes as it sweeps back effortlessly. His crystal eyes gleam in the moonlight as his skin reflects like milk off a silver tray. His palms are sweaty mom’s spaghetti haha as he grips on the bedsheet, arching his back as he stretches.

He stays still for a second, in a sort of sleepy daze, eyes fixated on the foot of his bed. Head tilting, he quickly snaps out the trance and reaches his arm to his bedside table, picking up his phone. The screen lights up full beam, causing Hamish to squint his eyes in instant regret as he scrambles to lower the brightness.

3:29am

“Great” Hamish mumbles with a croaky voice, laced with exhaustion. He sighs loudly, flopping back onto the bed, his head compressed in the pillows. This is the second week of restless nights he’d had - and they’re getting worse each night. At first, it was only a couple of broken sleeps...you know...nothing too dramatic. Then, it developed into vivid dreams which startle him and disturb him. Now...he hasn’t slept in a week, in order to avoid... them. His body wants to, so badly...but his mind isn’t having it. And it shows. Deep, dark bags surround the sockets of his eyes as his body grows weaker and feeble. His skin loses it’s glow and his mind is scattered. Everyone who sees him notices how much he’s let himself go, and they worry about him. Hell...he’s worried about himself.

Hamish throws his hands on his face, rubbing at his eyes hard, in an attempt to exhaust himself out. He kicks the covers off himself completely, revealing his loose knee-length shorts and bare feet. His mind wanders occasionally wanders to dark places from time to time, however lately it’s been happening a lot more. And every time, it’s the same place. A dark, painful place that he wishes to forget only for the reason that it brings him sadness, a nostalgia that he cannot get back. And what is that memory that his mind wanders to? Well, Y/N of course.

The truth is...every time he’d fall alseep, he’d dream of her. Vivid, realistic dreams of touching her, kissing her, being with her. Any other person would die for dreams like these with the person they loved, but Hamish...he didn’t. For him, it was a constant reminder that he’d lost another love that fulfilled his soul. It reminded him that he would never see her again, and he couldn’t handle that heartbreak.

He would reminisce about when he met Y/N, the Succubus, for the first time. Her beauty, elegance, poise, that mischievous glint in her eye which Hamish couldn’t tell if he was turned on by it...or threatened by it. He was infatuated by her, as if she held his soul in the cage of her heart.

It’s been 3 months since he’d last seen her. 3 months which felt like 3 years. Before he met her, he felt a hole in his soul. Ever since Cassie’s end, he’d never experienced something so true to ‘love at first sight’, he’d never believed he’d be truly happy again, or that he’d ever fall in love again...that was...until he met her. It was short, too short, but it gave him that electrifying feeling of wholesomeness again. Of happiness, love, euphoria. In those moments they had together, it was like he’d been hit by a century’s worth of feelings that he had lost. Both him and Tundra felt it...and she did too.

A single tear trickles down his pale, cold cheek at the memory of her. Lips quivering slightly, he bites down on his lower lip, scrunching his eyes shut tightly. He sits up gently, walking over to the open window for some air.

There’s something about nighttime that is so soothingly calm to him, almost as if he’s free. The silence that echoes around the clearing, the darkness dimly lit by the stars in the sky, the bitter sweet breeze smacking your rosy hot cheeks with an immense feeling of coolness.

Hamish rushes towards the window in desperation as if he cannot breathe, before inhaling deeply, releasing a hot breath into the night air. His head is stuck outside the window as his forearms lean against the windowsill. That familiar scent of fresh grass and slightly damp air surround him, leaving him feeling relaxed and at ease, until he feels the panic and sorrow leave slowly.

Part of him wishes his memories of her would disappear, so he can feel normal again...feel human. Although, part of him wishes they’d stay. Because she made him feel human. She made him feel alive, in ways he never thought possible.

He stares up to the moon, smiling softly.

“Hey, Y/N,” he begins with a voice barely above a whisper, “i miss you. And i know you probably can’t hear me, or see me for that matter...but you’ve messed with my head.” He grins, cheekiness glowing across his face. “I wish you were here, you know that. Well..i- i hope you’d know that...a..anyway”

He brings his hands to his face, cupping it whilst leaning on his elbows. “I think...i love you. And that scares me...really. Because the last woman i loved left me, and i....you know what nevermind. Anyway i uh...i guess i’m just saying hi, and that i miss you...” he looks down, a sad smile across his lips, but sadness painted across his expression. “Yeah...i really miss you.” he sighs “but please...Can you just let me slee-“

“-Only if i’m next to you”

Hamish’s eyes widen at the voice from behind him, as his body whips round and jaw drops at the sight in front of him. His eyes light up, his heartbeat quickens and races rapidly. His body shakes...is he hallucinating? Is this what happens when someone hasn’t slept for a week?

From out of the shadows, Y/N appears. Her beauty as astonishing as ever and her pace is slow, gentle. The gentle breeze pushes her hair from her shoulders as it flows through effortlessly. Hamish is frozen, he wants to touch you to make sure you’re real...but he can’t move.

You smile sweetly, lips berry red and cheeks lightly blushed pink. You take in the view in front of you as you slowly take a step closer to him, your sweet scent knocking him back to reality.

“Y/N...i...how are you here?” His voice cracks mid sentence, his arm barely lifted from the side of his chest. You laugh softly at his astonishment, thinking of how cute he was and how deeply you missed his face.

“Hey, cutie” you sigh, “i missed you, too.”

“I...” he begins, only to stop and rush his hands towards you, gripping you tightly as he lifts you up in the air for a hug, your legs wrapped around his torso and hands around his neck. You smile into his neck as his familiar scent of coconuts and musk fill your senses. He squeezes your body against his, almost as if he’s scared to let go again. Not again. Not ever again.

“How are you here?” His eyes are glossy with emotion and his voice is wobbly. His hands cup your face, as his thumbs rub against the sides of your cheeks softly. Your big Y/E/C orbs locked with his own, softness and comfort hidden deep within each other’s eyes.

“I made my way back to you, like i told you i would” you smile, bringing your hands to his own, which cup your face still, intertwining your fingers into his.

“But i...i thought you had to be summoned?”

“No, well...yeah,” you whisper “but i sort of made a deal with these dumb ass kids...they give me my freedom in exchange for A+ in all their classes-“ you roll your eyes playfully

“That’s not that bad!” Hamish interupts, his face blushing at your touch and his smile bright.

“-for the rest of their time at Belgrave.” you finish, nodding your head down at Hamish, who understands what you’re about to say next.

“Oh...i see...so you...exp..?” He hints, squinting as he looks for confirmation in your expressions

“...i gave them 3 weeks before they’ll be expelled” you smirk, head up whilst looking directly at Hamish’s eyes.

Hamish smirks back, knowing your mischievous side when it comes to making deals...you are a demon at the end of the day!

“They should have known better” he quietly murmurs with a smirk planted across his face. “Well, i’m glad they gave you your freedom. Very, very glad.”

With that, Hamish strokes your face as he brings his fingers to your shoulders, then to your arm. Electrifying shocks run through your body as butterflies roam freely in your stomach at his touch alone. Blood rushes to your cheeks, heating them up with a perfectly pretty pink shade. From the window behind Hamish, a breeze gusts through the room, sending your hair flying back effortlessly. You lean your forehead on Hamish’s, as he leans down slightly to reach you. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull him down and place your lips on his. Passion, lust, desperation and pleasure coat the kiss as the world comes to a stop. Euphoria explodes in your mind as his soft, luscious lips compliment your own perfectly. Ham gets deeper into the kiss, slipping his tongue in between your mouth whilst gripping your waist and pushing it harder into his own body, completely breaking any distance between you both. His hands roam your curves and every part of your body, pushing your head deeper into the kiss. Lightly, you bite onto his lip which causes him to smirk into the kiss, moaning ever so quietly.

“You know that turns me on,” Hamish whispers in a husky tone, a light growl evident in the back of his throat.

“That’s my intention...” you hum on his lips.

Your hands leave his neck and lead to his hair, gently pulling every time the butterflies invade your stomach. Even as a succubus, you’ve never felt this turned on by anyone. And THAT is saying something...

“We have-“ he stutters out of breath in between your kisses, “-have to be quiet-“ your hands roam down to the rim of his shirt, causing Hamish to get a little too excited, “-others are here.” He takes a deep gasp of breath whilst looking up to the ceiling, then looking you up and down.

“Then we’ll be quiet.” A devilish smirk appears on your face, as you lock eyes with Hamish, then look down to his lips...faces barely apart.

Hamish bites his lip, attacking your face once again. Only this time, he pushes you to the wall, pressing your back into it as his body presses into your front. You moan in euphoria with your arms up above your head, hands and fingers intertwined with Hamish’s as he breaks the kiss, leaving a trail of hot and wet kisses on your neck. As he brings his hands down, he knocks one of your horns gently...to which startles him,

“Shit, I’m so sorry” he apologises, concern on his face as his brows and eyes crinkle in fears of him hurting you. Sweetly, you laugh whilst shaking your head and drawing over his features with the tip of your finger,

“Hey, it’s okay,” you reply sympathetically, tone soft and delicate, “you could never hurt me.”

Hamish takes a moment to soak in your beauty in front of him; the way your dark, bold wings form the most magnificent silhouette, how your clothes hug your perfect figure and curves irresistibly, the way your wide Y/E/C doe eyes captivate his soul in the way that he forgets how to breathe, your smile...so bright, contagious and exquisite. With skin as soft as the clouds above and lips as dreamy as sunsets in the heavens, you couldn’t have been more perfect to him.

“You’re so beautiful,” Hamish mouths into your skin, causing shivers to run through your body, “i never want to let you out of my sight again”

“Then don’t let me go”

“You can count on it, darling.” He brings his head back up to face you, mischief and adoration in his orbs. He stands there sandwiching you between the wall for a long few seconds, staring deep into your own eyes.

“Hey, carry on kissing me!” You huff, desperation lacing your voice.

“I can do one better” he pipes up confidently, as he begins to untie your blood red, laced top...slipping his fingers smoothly under the straps, letting them fall off your soft, delicate shoulders. As a sudden urge impulses you, you rip his top completely in half, revealing his toned chest. A low growl escapes his throat as he throws his lips back onto yours, fingers working tirelessly at the straps on your top, whilst yours work at his sweat-shorts. You throw your head to the side whilst soaking in the allure and pleasure before you. Before you know it, Hamish removes your top, leaving you in your bra and tight leggings. He picks you up, letting you wrap your legs around his torso as he carries you to the end of his bed...his lips never leaving yours.

Hamish lets you down gently, being careful to not hurt your wings, as he continues to undress you...you vice versa.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He whispers for consent, being the true gentleman he is.

“Of course. I want everything with you” you chirp “do you want it?”

“Why wouldn’t i?! You’re everything to me,” his smile speaks a thousand more words, but right now...you want nothing more than for no words. Just action. Smiling back, you wrap your hands around his neck, before snapping out of the moment,

“okay now carry on. Please.” You beg, pulling him forward from his neck. He crashes his body on yours after removing his sweat shorts impatiently. Skin to skin contact sends waves of pure electric through both your veins as hormones and pleasure flying through the roof. Your skin burns under his as he buries his head in between your shoulder, whilst slowly but firmly thrusting in. His hands search the bed for yours, intertwining as soon as he finds them. With your legs wrapped around his torso, you push yourself closer to his body, deepening the feeling inside you as simultaneous moans can be beard from the both of you, complete euphoria filling your senses.

A single beam of moonlight illuminates the room directly on Hamish’s face, allowing you to admire everything about him; the way his dimples show when he’s either concentrating or happy, how his cheeks are chiseled and his jawline is sharper than thousands of knives put together. His perfect skin complexion soft to the fingertips and his ocean eyes full of hope and life...and how his irises have a black lining around them, which follows the legend of how if one has a black line around their eyes...then they have a soul. Sure you’ve had your fair share of experience, of lust and hopeless devotion...but It’s little things like this that make you realise that love can be real...and that Hamish has truly captured your heart. Succubus’ are notorious for their seduction and willingness to draw emotion to their pray, without having to actually experience any their-self. However...every succubus has their one love, their power source for love, their anchor. Hamish is yours, and it took you until this long to realise.

Squirming under his weight, you bring your mind back to the present. His breath is rigid and his skin is sticky with sweat. Swiftly, you bring your hands to his hair and roughly tug at it, causing Ham to push himself deeper into you. You moan in satisfaction as you crash your mouth onto his with sloppy, wet kisses. Hamish returns your kisses with equal passion, occasionally biting your lip and tugging it with a small amount of force, leaving you to scratch at his back with your nails. As soon as you do so, Hamish’s claws make a quick appearance, gliding over your skin before he shakes it off and yearns control again. Due to your abilities of super strength, you manage to slip from under Hamish’s weight and flip your positions, so he’s now under your weight as you cradle his body with yours on top. It takes him a hot minute to notice, but when he does...he just get even more turned on.

You start to move your hips lightly forwards and backwards, leaving Hamish to squirm under you before moving in synchronisation to your movements. Easing into it, you both move in a delicate and ever so tender fashion, more intimate than sexual.

Hamish’s large hands position themselves on your hips, his thumbs drawing little circles around your skin as his grip tightens, meaning only one thing.

As you begin to feel the hot sweat on your body, you start to slow down, legs shaking upon reaching your climax, Hamish too. You take a deep breath and flop in his chest, your forehead on top of his. With your eyes closed, you think to yourself ‘i have never felt more alive than when i’m with him’ whilst Hamish tenderly kisses both your eyelids in pure devotion. You look up to him, forehead still resting on his, and smile. You lean forward and leave a final kiss on his perky lips before climbing off and lying on the bed, wrapping the sheets around your naked body.

The silence in the room is interrupted with the sound of rapid heartbeats and heavy breathing. Hamish turns to face you with his hands stretched out to rub your skin and one arm holding his head up.

“That was...amazing,” he kisses your nose “you’re amazing”

“I love you” you suddenly blurt out, almost as if it felt natural to say. After realising what you said, your eyes widen and cheeks blush immensely...instantly thinking you’d moved too fast

“I...i mean i uh...i” you stutter trying to save yourself, until realising that you can’t save yourself from something like that. ‘Nice one, Y/N’ you curse to yourself

“Hey, it’s okay” Hamish reassures you, his forefinger drawing small circles on your skin as his other hand runs through your hair

“I love you too, Y/N”

Your heart stops beating all of a sudden. Did he just say he loves you? You’ve never heard that before. You’ve never had someone love you - YOU before. In your eyes, you weren’t worthy of love. That you weren’t worthy of...him.

“I love you and i want to spend every night falling asleep by your side and every morning waking up to your face as the first thing i see when i open my eyes. I don’t care about realm rules or anything like that...all i care about is you.” His face is inches away from you at this point.

You’re left speechless at his declaration, but your eyes say everything you can’t say. Tears begin to drop from your eyes as your lips curl into a heartwarming smile. You pull Hamish into your face, kissing him passionately and intensely.

“No one’s ever made me feel the way you make me feel” you hush, your voice wobbly with emotion. “Thank you for being everything i wanted” Hamish grabs your hand in his, bringing your body into his for a warm snuggle. He brings the covers over you both as you nestle your face into the crook of his neck, your cheek flushed against his skin.

“So urm...was it just like how you dreamt?” You mutter curiously

“Yeah it was act...” his smile drops suddenly in confusion “...how did you know i had dreams of you...of this?”

You laugh playfully as you bring your hands to your face, covering your blushing cheeks from the man beside you “i maaayy have caused you to have those dreams...” you trail off, leaving Hamish to figure it out for himself

“You did dream-walking on me!” He gasps, eyes widening in surprise

“Hey!” You shush him with a finger to his lips “i couldn’t let you forget me could i?!”

I don’t know if i’ll write any more smut as it just felt ✨dirty✨ writing this idk, i have much respect to those who are able to write it 😂 let me know what you thought of this!

[lemony-snickers]

so, i didn’t receive this as an ask, but was tagged by @depressedhatakekakashi​ @saudade-mayari​ @whatshernameis​ and @mrs-hatake​!  lol, guess it’s obvious i’m pretty dorky.  here are my five:

i am a hoarder collector.  if it interests me, i have multiples.  antique cameras, pez dispensers, old glass bottles, funky vintage shoes from the 80s.  all of that and then some (my house is very... ahem, ecclectic.)

i cannot get enough of nature documentaries.  when i was a kid, my classmates used to make fun of me because while they were watching cartoons, i was devouring national geographic specials and discovery channel series.

i definitely own naruto uzumaki’s orange jacket.  when my nephew texted me that he was starting to watch naruto (and sent a selfie with a konoha headband on), i immediately drew some whiskers on my face with an eyeliner pencil and donned my jacket so i could send him an equally nerdy selfie in return.

i learned to speak some elvish (quenya, not sindarin) in high school and used to take my biology notes in tengwar.

my sister and i used to choreograph elaborate dances to all our favorite songs.  we still remember the moves and will occasionally bust them out when we are together.

i am not gonna tag anyone only because i am very, very late to the game.  but if any of y’all wanna revel in your nerdier side, please feel free to take this and run with it.

[tm95-snarl]

So, today was a very big day! We started at 5am because Burgh wanted to paint me and Purssneakity with the sunrise as a backdrop.

Burgh got me registered for a Trainer ID card. It shows my name and face and Pokémon and everything. It even has a second card, a Team Card, that shows the information and moves of my Pokémon team.

Burgh released Purrsneakity and I caught him myself. He’s now officially mine, and not traded from the guy I got him from or from Burgh! Purrsneakity is too long a name for the ID system so I put his legal name in as Purrsy, which is actually his nickname. So I guess technically Purrsneakity is a nickname legally now lol.

I learned how to throw a Pokeball. How to let Purrsy out. Turn on and off the safety mechanism, turn off the safety mechanism. Didn’t know that they had settings for that! Really useful for crowded areas or anywhere it would be unsafe for him to be out. I turned on the mode that lets him go in and out the Pokeball whenever he wants. I also turned on the transparency feature for all of the Pokeballs, so I can tell which ones are empty. Even the antique-style low-tech ones I bought had all these features! Inventors are amazing.

Purrsneakity learned some legal moves. He chose Toxic, Dig, Iron Tail, and Pay Day. He also put aside copies of the Toxic, Yawn, Pay Day, and Play Rough TMs, so I guess he wants flexibility.

Burgh and I had a practice battle. It was very fun! Purrsy enjoyed himself a lot.

I ended up fiddling with one of the leftover Pokeballs and I somehow caught myself. Burgh got me out of it. And then checked my Team Card. Apparently I’m a Zoroark. Burgh said I “dropped the illusion” in the Pokeball. I am genuinely in shock. And am going to have a long conversation with my mother after I have a panic attack for a few hours.

So, good night y’all. Even though it’s 12 noon in Castelia City. I need a nap before I have my freak out.