#guess who has not written the essay and has sent her professor an email saying she has not written it and mentioning her anxiety 👍

[gayforcarstairsgirls]

I like to start early, make sure my professors know from term one that I am a flailing mess, set their expectations nice and low before I wow them with my inability to turn in work

[softestsaddestbitch]

December TC Challenge

stole this from @elder-edda (sorry for creeping! just, given the usual demographic of the tc community I was excited to find another 20-smthg)

1) what color is your tc’s hair?

He has just, simple brown hair but he’s starting to go grey which, no lie, is 100% doing it for me.

2) is your tc married?

Yes? He doesn’t wear a ring and I believe she kept her last name which makes me think it’s more of a civil partnership since they’ve been together since the early 2000s at least. But he also will refer to her as “my wife” and was telling me once that they waited until “after they got married” before moving in together.

3) if yes, do you care? would you do something with them regardless of their marriage?

I know these questions are general but I do take offense at the idea of being a homewrecker/other woman. I’ve met his wife, she’s really nice.

4) what’s your worst memory with your tc?

I put my foot in my mouth SO OFTEN. Good lord. Especially my last semester at that school? He was acting weird and I had just realized after fucking ... four years?? that I romantically liked him. So I kept bringing up my weird age fixation and other bs bc I have adhd and am possibly autistic?? and can’t read a room to save my life.

5) what’s your best memory with your tc?

One year we had a really bad snowstorm, so bad in fact that I had my first-ever snow day. The college that I used to go to has four campuses across as many cities, and C has to drive in twice a week to my (old) town from his. Now, morning classes had been canceled but afternoon classes had been given the go-ahead. C, who does not check his emails until he arrives at campus, evidently did not get this message until he was already in town and therefore didn’t have a morning class, but did have an afternoon class. On this day I had a late morning class that had been reinstated, but my prof didn’t get that memo so I also was on campus but didn’t have a class. So I went to visit his office, which I had been doing throughout the semester (I didn’t have a class with him at the time) and we just ... hung out for like 2 hours. It was so nice and one of the anecdotes he told me still haunts me lol.

sidenote: at the time, I hadn’t yet realized that I liked him, but I still went out of my way to visit him. Damn I was a dumbass.

6) does anyone in your school know how you feel?

ish? I told a classmate but in a “haha joking” kinda way. And a friend who went to that school knows. No one at my current school knows.

7) does your tc know how you feel?

I think he might? might have a lil inkling which would explain why he started acting so weird my last semester. Or at the very least was told/realized how bad it could look that he was getting so chummy w/ a student.

8) do you think there’s any chance your tc reciprocates your feelings?

He and his wife have been together for around 20 years now. No. No, I don’t think so. Maybe in an alternate universe.

9) are you getting your tc a christmas present? if so, what is it?

I have in the past! Specifically like, a tin of cookies lol. I’ve also given him an actual present when I left. I do intend to send him a Christmas card every year but not this year because ... you know ... the apocalypse.

10) have you ever flirted with your tc?

Flirtation inherently has intent. So, no. How he interpreted our interactions I don’t know.

11) how long have you had a crush on them? what began it all?

SO! TIMELINE!

I was at my old school from September 2014-April 2019, I had C for the first time in September 2015. Like I mentioned above, I did not realize I had a crush on him until literally the middle of my final exam of my class with him December 2018, so I’ve only consciously had a crush for about two years now. However, as I also mentioned, I went out of my way to stop by his office, even when I didn’t have a class with him. And my relationship with/feelings towards him are complicated so I’m not going to say I did so solely because I like him, but I would put it maybe closer to somewhere in 2017. You don’t plan your schedule around someone you don’t feel strong feelings for.

12) do you believe you’ll get over them shortly after you stop taking their class/have the chance to spend time with them?

As of today, it has been been exactly a year and a half since I last him in person. In the time since, I have cried over missing him, routinely gone back to keep up with his current research projects, and made his picture a part of my home screen. I almost exclusively listen to the playlist I made for him -  so much so my Spotify Wrapped is pretty much that playlist with a few extras.

13) what kind of grades do you get in their class?

Haaaaaa pre-supension I was failing his classes. My first semester back I got .... a mid/high 70? and I finished my last class with him with an A+ and the essay I had written for his class had the highest grade between the two classes so..

14) does your tc ever do any tiny, little things that you adore?

When he puts a hand in his pocket and leans against the wall. When he tucks his hair behind his ear because he keeps falling in his face (he has long hair, a little past his shoulders). When he can’t stop himself from googling something even if its in the middle of class. How you can ask him anything at any time. The way he would chuckle at my jokes. How his handwriting hasn’t improved in decades. How easily he brushes off toxic masculinity. His candidness and willingness to share little anecdotes. The way he used to always smile whenever he saw me. That he goes home everyday to have lunch with his wife.

15) are you their favorite student?

I was! And it was obvious to other students that we had a friendly, casual relationship too. For a time, if his other students had questions about him they would ask me, and I usually had the answer. I didn’t matter in the long run, but I was. 

16) do you two share any tastes? movies, books, music, etc.

He’s a legal historian, I’m a baby legal/political historian. We also like the same historical cooking youtube channel.

17) is your teacher religious?

I doubt he would say he’s religious, but I feel like we have a similar relationship to religion which is to say no formal association, but had profound effects on our childhoods and subsequently, presumably, how we view things as adults.

18) do you masturbate to them?

Yes.

19) do you communicate with them outside of school?

I sent him a meme once. And asked about the socialist uprising scandal he was apart of. I also almost emailed him while at a museum exhibition with my history friend. These are all through email.

20) do you have any tc songs or songs you relate to your tc? what are they?

SO my number one song this year was “You are the Reason” by Calum Scott because, you guessed it, of him. But also:

I Lost a Friend - Finneas When You’re Ready - Shawn Mendes You Are in Love - Taylor Swift Break My Heart Right - James

& given the season, especially w/ what transpired last year, Last Christmas by Wham!

21) what’s your favorite thing your tc has said/memory you have with them?

One time he kinda trailed off in the middle of lecture after stating that he thought of xyz a particular way which contrasted one of the popular schools of thought, and the way he plainly said, “well, yeah, which I guess ... is I’m arguing it” almost like he was semi-surprised with himself has always stuck with me. 

But also, in addition the memory I shared earlier, we spent an hour and a half talking about grad school and what to expect and how to get there. 

22) do you plan to continue a relationship with them after you leave school?

I trid, I really did. But he doesn’t “socialize with students part or present” so I can’t exactly see him. But I did get some academic-related from him at the beginning of the year.

23) how will you deal during the summer? will you see him/her?

He’s a hermit who used my last vacation before I moved to go on all the vacations he had to postpone because he was working on his last book. And this past summer ... Covid. This question is obviously directed at high school students, but in general, he lives in the back of head always, and when I’m in my hometown for the summer my heart aches because theres a none-zero chance I’ll see him, but I know I won’t.

24) does your tc support gay rights?

Yes. He’s never been put in a position that I know of where he had to outright condemn homophobia, but in one of his classes, he actively made the choice to make the very first reading of the semester about how women in ancient times had more agency than assumed, and also how the woman in the case study was a lesbian.

25) what class do you have with them? And what period? Do you have them every day?

History classes. I won’t get into specifics because it’s kind of an eclectic mix and I’m paranoid someone from the area could come across this. But I had him twice a week every semester that I had him. Again this kind of question is more so applicable to high school students, not so much university students.

26) have you ever drifted out during a lecture thinking about them and missed information?

No. In his classes he is too enthralling, and I’m a good student otherwise.

27) have you stalked them online? what did you find out?

In theory. He’s a fifty-year-old history professor whose reaction to a description of the big lipped/tiny face filter on snapchat was “that sounds disgusting.” The man doesn’t have social media, and if he does those privacy settings are on so students can’t find him he thinks he’s very professional. I do visit his mini-bio section on the college website fairly often tho.

28) have you ever run into them outside of schools? what happened?

I did once. He introduced me to his wife, who said “oh you’re E! C has talked about you” and it apparently he had done so positively, and blew my mind because this was back when I was failing classes and also, as a person, I don’t believe that people think about me when I’m not there. They gave me a restaurant recommendation and afterwards his wife surprised me a they were leaving the restaurant because ... we had listened to them, and they also went there for lunch that day.

29) has your tc ever spoken of teacher-student relationships? what did they say?

It had recently come out that it had been found out that another professor had been in a relationship with a student and he’s the one that brought it up before class one day (with all of us not just me). He didn’t say anything for or against it, just that it was generally discouraged, but that most schools did have policies in place to handle the situation.

30) do you regret telling anyone about your tc? if you’ve kept it a secret, why have you done so?

Absolutely not. I can’t tell my best friends because they’d do nothing but give me shit for it and it would call every time I mention him into question. But the friends that I have told ... its been so freeing, and like a weight has been lifted from my heart. One friend in particular I unloaded on her all my emotional shit pertaining to him this past summer and she was so understanding it legit since then I’ve been less distraught when thinking about him. It still hurts, but it feels less like I’m suffocating now.

[merthwyn]

Abusive behaviour by a paranoid professor

On July 2017 I enrolled in a postrgaduate programme related to intercultural education. This was maybe the biggest mistake in my whole life. And here is why:

From the very first courses, many of my colleagues and I realised that the director of the program is a narcissistic, irresponsible egomaniac and an arrogant psycho who projects her insecurities onto others, never accepts responsibility for anything, and always blames others for her mistakes. Moreover, this person refuses to co-operate with anyone, and her relationship with dozens of other professors in almost every single educational institution where she has worked is dreadful. At the same time, she is in cahoots with authorities, she even manipulates the rector of the university where she works, as well as many other professors, while her “spies” are absolutely everywhere.

Long story short, this behaviour caused us dozens of problems during the course. To mention only some of them, she was constantly changing the course’s schedule, we were asked to write essays that were never corrected, she was literally vanishing for months and we were prohibited from contacting her, if anyone complained they would receive tonnes of gaslighting, and -needless to say- even the whole programme was proven to be “false advertising”, since many things that were supposed to be offered therein not only never happened, but -as we were informed- they were even against official regulations from the Ministry of Education!!

Of course, we had to pay for this. And when we realised all that I mentioned above, we were not allowed to quit -let alone to ask for a refund. She also demanded to receive every single penny ASAP. So we just sucked it up. But the whole madness of course didn’t stop there, as the time to write our final dissertation inevitably came.

Before Christmas of 2018, we were asked to choose our supervisor. The subject of our thesis was -of course- chosen by her and she didn’t accept any objections by anyone who was not part of her “groupies” clique. (Btw, this was the last time we spoke to her directly). Anyway, we chose our supervisors. And some weeks later we were informed by email that the supervisor of every single thesis will be -guess who- HER!!! We sucked this up as well, and we started writing our theses, following word for word what she asked us to write.

Time passed, and June 2020 came. I repeat, the last time we directly spoke to her was before Christmas of 2018. In the meantime, she gave no signs of life and never responded to emails. So, a colleague of mine decided to write in the programme’s facebook group, asking if anyone had any news from her. Nothing more, nothing less. Some people commented without being offensive at all. I “liked” the post. What happened next?? She became COMPLETELY TRIGGERED and sent an email full of passive-agressive statements and threats to everyone. Moreover, the post was deleted by one of her spies, she blacklisted everyone who liked or commended in the post (including me), and she sent to the seven of us another email saying that she will no longer supervise our theses but -at the same time- she demanded changes in our theses’ content which were completely different from what we were asked to do in the first place.

Of course, the drama did not end there. I made the changes she asked for, and on September 2020 I re-sent my thesis for correction, only to find out that my new supervisor (who is the one I had chosen in the first place) wanted almost completely different things to be written in many parts of my thesis, things that make ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE. I also learned that this man is one of her “groupies”.

Do you believe that this story is over? Ha!! THERE IS MORE!!!!!! This paranoid woman gave the aforementioned blacklist TO A LAWYER. And not only that but she falsely accuses me of writting offensive comments under that post. And, since this post is now deleted, I have absolutely no proof that she is an ABSOLUTE LIAR.

Oh, and do I have to mention that my family IS TAKING HER SIDE??? Although they know how crazy this woman is, although they admit that her behaviour even in that case makes no sense, they still abuse me emotionally and blame me for this incident. According to them, the fact that I liked a non-offensive post (which btw was made many times in the past but nothing happened) is WORSE than the fact that she and her groupies behave like gangsters.

So, from what you ‘ve read so far, do you really believe that this story will have a good outcome? I DON’T THINK SO.

[carmenlire]

Higher than the Big Trees Ch. 45

read chapter one

read on ao3

Sitting at the desk in front of the room, Magnus studies his students. The room is silent save for a cough here or there, the scuffle of shoes, the jittery click of a pen in the top corner.

His mouth turns up as he hears the first flipping of the page. Taking an idle glance at the clock, he raises a brow. The final for this class was a Blue Book exam and it’s only been five minutes-- either someone really knew their shit or they were bullshitting so hard that he’d need a second red pen when it came time to grade.

Leaning back in his chair, Magnus’s focus turns back to his phone. Alec had been infuriatingly tight-lipped the past couple of weeks about work. Magnus knows that his boyfriend is getting closer and closer to finishing the album but no matter how much he pries-- or what he offers in exchange for a sneak peak-- Alec refuses to let Magnus listen to it.

He’s got to admit that he’s curious. After hearing the single back in September, he’d never said anything to Alec. It seems silly, especially after Florence, but he didn’t want to jinx anything. He didn’t want to be presumptuous only to have Alec give him that blank eyed stare that infuriates him, always accompanied by a slow blink that lets the recipient know exactly how foolish Alec thinks they are.

So, he’d kept his mouth shut but he can’t help but hope. It’s a little heady, the possibility that Alec’s written a song-- several songs, even-- about him. About them.

They’re chatting about plans for tonight and Magnus worries his bottom lip as he reads over Alec’s latest text.

I was thinking we could go out for dinner? I have reservations at Momofuku Ko tonight

Magnus stares down at his phone, mildly appalled.

Darling, that place is expensive hell. It’s a Tuesday night, no need to be so extravagant.

Didn’t you say you wanted to try it? What, I can’t do something nice for my boyfriend?

Fingers flying over his screen, Magnus replies, That was idle conversation, Alexander! Plus, don’t you need reservations at least a month in advance?

He doesn’t even have to wait a minute for Alec’s response.

I might have made them the day after you mentioned wanting to try it.

Rolling his eyes, Magnus’s exasperation is sorely tempered with fondness.

You’re too good to me, Alec

……. So you’re okay with going there for dinner?

Huffing out a laugh that has half his students glancing up at him before turning back to their exams, Magnus grins as he types, As long as you’re okay going dutch.

He actually laughs out loud as he reads Alec’s short reply a few seconds later.

Not a chance in hell, babe.

Shaking his head, Magnus pockets his phone as he looks up at the few dozen students furiously writing in their Blue Books.

Life has settled into a routine that’s mostly what it was before. It’s just that now he has Alec to come home to more often than not.

He still wakes up early and sometimes he lets Alec persuade him to join him at Fuel for an early morning workout. Magnus comes to work and loves what he does and sometimes Alec joins him for lunch.

His day ends and he goes back to the loft where he’ll spend a couple of hours grading or planning or writing-- though not his book, Thank Christ, that’s off to the printer now-- before he meets Alec for a date.

Most nights they spend together and while they alternate between places, it’s usually Alec who comes over to the loft lately.

Magnus doesn’t quite understand it-- Alec’s penthouse is what dreams are made of-- but it’s nice to see Alec so comfortable in his space, among his things.

As his thoughts turn unforgivably sappy, Magnus figures he’s entitled.

It’s his birthday, after all.

Not that he’s told Alec that, of course. Magnus doesn’t know why he hasn’t told his boyfriend that his birthday was coming up, but it had just never seemed the right time.

In any case, he’s not too fond of the day anyway. For the past decade, it’s been little more than a reminder of a childhood he’d tried his damnedest to forget. Until his father was sent to jail, his birthday had always been a big, blowout affair. He’d always had birthday parties and cake and almost too many presents to handle.

His father always took the day off and he let Magnus skip school and they’d spend the day together doing whatever Magnus wanted. When he was very little, there had been mini-golfing and arcades and the zoo. As he’d gotten older, Asmodeus had taken him to the movies, to get his first piercing, and on his sixteenth birthday-- just a few months before his life imploded-- he’d been surprised with a trip to the dealer. Asmodeus had gifted him a brand new Mercedes SUV.

Damn but he’d loved that car, until it had been repossessed at any rate.

No, Magnus reflects. After everything had happened and his father had been sentenced, Magnus had spent a few years flat out not acknowledging his birthday. His foster families hadn’t cared, that was for damned sure, and Magnus hadn’t been close enough with anyone to celebrate.

For a few years, there hadn’t been anything to celebrate, not to him.

But then he’d gone to Yale and had been surprised as hell when Ragnor and Cat had casually left him presents one morning. He still doesn’t know how they figured it out but it had touched him far more than a paperback and an eight dollar bottle of wine should have. They had never made a thing out of it and for that, Magnus was exceedingly grateful.

Still, that doesn’t help matters much now. Magnus feels a little guilty for keeping something so innocuous from Alec, especially after he’d gone to such lengths for his birthday in September, but with a little shrug, Magnus idly thinks about taking Alec out for ice cream after dinner tonight and telling him.

Breaking out of his thoughts, Magnus smiles at the student standing in front of the desk. He’s expecting a question but doesn't say anything when the student merely tosses their exam on the desk between them and turns to leave without a word.

Amused, Magnus looks at the clock and sees that it’s only been half an hour. This exam block was three hours and this class in particular was an upperclass elective on the History of Modern India. Magnus had created the exam and by his estimate, it should take at least an hour and a half.

There are three sections: term identification where there are twenty definitions and students must choose ten to discuss-- people, places, events that were significant to the semester’s content. Then there are the mini-essays where students pick three out of five significant eras and explain why they were so impactful. Finally, they have to pick one out of two essay topics and write an analytical essay that should be comprehensive of the entire semester’s lectures.

The fact that it took this student half an hour makes Magnus wary to say the least.

Shrugging a little, Magnus takes out a few papers from his senior seminar class and starts grading. He’s here for the next two and a half hours so he might as well get some work done. Winter graduation was Saturday and he needs to have grades in for all seniors by Thursday at noon. He has a dozen thirty to forty page theses to grade, in addition to any exams from his other classes. The next few days are going to be round the clock grading and Magnus wryly thinks that finals week isn’t just for the students.

The time goes by quickly and Magnus manages to grade three of the term papers as students slowly turn in their Blue Books and leave, eager to study for their next exam or just collapse in their dorms and relish the end of another semester.

Looking up, Magnus sees that there’s just one student left and she’s on her second Blue Book. Knowing that she has a propensity to take her time and write for ages on each question, Magnus focuses back on grading, marking something in the margin to look up later.

The student takes almost the entire three hours to finish her exam and Magnus sympathizes as he puts his papers in his briefcase to return to later. Shaking out her hand, she places the exam on top of the pile.

“How’d it go,” Magnus asks, capping his pen.

Shrugging a little, Jasmine smiles. “I hope it went well but I guess I’ll just have to wait and see when you enter the grade in Blackboard.”

“Was this your last exam or are you finally free?”

Laughing, Jasmine tosses her hair back as she adjusts her backpack. “You were my last final. I’ve officially done everything I need to for graduation. Now all that’s left is to walk across that stage this weekend.”

Smiling warmly, Magnus reaches for the stack of exams. “I hope Saturday is everything you’ve been hoping for-- graduation is a big deal and you’ve worked hard to get here. What are your plans?”

“I’ve actually been accepted to Cambridge’s graduate program for literature.”

Raising a brow, Magnus offers, “I’m sure Ragnor was thrilled to hear that.”

“Yeah,” Jasmine laughs. “He wrote one of my letters of recommendation. I’m not sure what he said but when I had my interview, they mentioned how effusive Dr. Fell had been.”

“Well, rest assured that Ragnor would only write what he believed. If you’re as good a student in his classes as you are in mine, then that praise was definitely deserved. Congratulations dear and best wishes for the future.”

Grinning, Jasmine gives a silly little salute. “Thanks, Dr. Bane. You’re one of my favorite professors here and I’m glad that I got to take this last class with you before I graduated.”

“Thank you, Jasmine. If you ever need another reference or letter please don’t hesitate to reach out,” he offers and sits back as she turns and exits the room, leaving Magnus alone with his thoughts.

She’d been a great student and a joy to have in class over the past few years. It’s always bittersweet when a student that’s earned Magnus’s respect and fondness leaves for greener pastures but there’s always another one waiting to take their place. Magnus has known and liked dozens of students over the years and some still occasionally email him, updating him on their life and career.

Filing the exams away, Magnus stands. Reaching for his coat, he shrugs it on before swinging his bag on his shoulder. The next exam block is in half an hour and as he exits the room, he sees half a dozen students loitering in the silent hallway, eagerly reviewing notes in a last ditch effort.

It’s cold outside, snow just beginning to lightly fall. He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and sidesteps away from the main path as he reaches for it. He reads Alec's confirmation of the time for dinner and sees that he has a few hours before they’re to meet at his place.

Walking across campus, the sky is a murky steel gray. Winter has come and with it perennial twilight even though it’s only four in the afternoon.

He finds Ragnor in his office and as he takes off his coat and hangs it up, Magnus sees the cupcake sitting on the desk in front of his usual chair. Arching a brow, Magnus slowly nears the desk.

Ragnor doesn’t look up as he waves a hand between the cupcake and where he’s standing. “It was buy one get one free and you know I like a good deal.”

“I know you’re appallingly thrifty if that’s what you mean,” Magnus retorts as he sits.

Picking the cupcake up, Magnus starts peeling the wax paper away. “Thank you, dear.”

Ruffling the magazine he’s seemingly engrossed in, Ragnor just mutters, “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Magnus laughs a little, shaking his head as he takes the first bite of the dessert, smiling as he realizes it’s his favorite-- orange cranberry.

Neither one mentions the plastic umbrella in the middle of it, declaring Happy 30th Birthday in colorful, cheerful script. Magnus can just picture it now, his best friend’s long suffering sigh that had accompanied the purchase.

The two of them chat for a little while, talking about syllabi for next semester and plans for the holidays. It’s hard to believe that it’s already December, yet another term under their belts.

Eventually, afternoon gives way to early evening and they leave campus, each going their separate ways. Burying his nose a little deeper into his scarf, Magnus rounds the corner and grins as he looks up and sees a figure walking towards him that he’d recognize anywhere.

Alec places a quick kiss on his forehead and Magnus hears him mutter under his breath, “It’s the only place not covered.”

Unlooping his scarf in the elevator, Magnus pulls him close. He places a kiss under his jaw before moving to his mouth. “Hello, darling,” he murmurs as they pull apart.

“Hey, you,” Alec replies easily and follows him into the loft.

Magnus changes while Alec falls onto the couch, immediately taking out his phone.

“Important business,” he calls out as he walks toward the bedroom.

“Not really,” is Alec’s answer and Magnus enters his closet, running a hand over a dozen blazers, trying to decide on what to wear tonight. He glances over at the end of the closet where a few of Alec’s things are hung. It makes him smile every time he sees the few outfits hanging next to his own clothes and he grins as he looks back at his section, refocusing.

“Is there a dress code,” he yells and hopes Alec can hear him from the living room. He hears a muffled no but he still decides to dress up a little, opting for a crimson button up that he leaves mostly undone, tucking them into black slim cut pants.

Heading towards his vanity, Magnus grabs a makeup wipe, taking off the bit of eyeliner he’d put on that morning. He works on his eyeshadow-- a shimmery gold-- and relines his eyes, opting for something a little more dramatic than he’d worn to work. Dusting highlighter over his cheeks, his hands hover over his jewelry, considering a dozen choices before reaching for the necklace Alec had bought him a few months ago. The pendant rests against his chest, perfectly framed.

Biting his lip, thinking, Magnus reaches for another piece that he hasn’t worn for awhile, slipping it in as he looks at the open door.

Ready, he gives himself a final once over before stepping into a pair of chelsea boots.

When he walks into the living room, Alec’s frowning, rolling his eyes.

“Everything okay?”

Eyes darting up to meet his, Alec hastily shoves his phone into his back pocket, lifting his hips to do so. “Yeah,” he answers. “Just my label being a pain in my ass.”

“So nothing new,” Magnus laughs quietly.

“Nope,” Alec replies, standing up. His eyes darken as he sees Magnus’s outfit.

Magnus stays where he is as Alec comes closer, as he wraps arms around his middle before ducking close and nosing along his throat. “I like this outfit,” Alec whispers.

“Thank you, darling.”

Smile widening, Magnus steadies them both as Alec pulls back to look at his face. “Ready for dinner?”

Nodding, they throw their coats back on and this time it’s Alec who’s leading them downstairs to where a car’s waiting.

Settling in the backseat, Magnus looks out his window as they pull away from the curb, letting his hand rest on Alec’s thigh.

“Have you been to Momofuku Ko before?”

“No,” Alec answers, letting his leg lean against Magnus’s a little more. “I didn’t even know about it until you mentioned seeing a review in the New Yorker.”

Turning his head to look at his boyfriend, Magnus smiles. “Well, then, thank you for making reservations. I hope you like it.”

“It’s, like, fifteen courses, babe. I’m sure I’ll love it. If not we’ll just swing by McDonald’s on the way home.”

Magnus is already looking away when Alec finishes his sentence. Watching the street outside, he does his best not to react. Alec had just just called the loft home. The word wraps around Magnus, warm and happy, and he bites back a grin. It’s silent in the car and Magnus resolutely doesn’t acknowledge Alec’s slip and Alec doesn’t say anything either.

There’s a tension to the silence, like Alec’s waiting for a reprimand, a sharp rebuttal, but Magnus is damned if he’ll give him one.

He does sweep his hand over Alec’s thigh, though, and breathes a little easier when Alec flips his hand over to that he can interlace their fingers.

They stay like that until they get to the restaurant. It’s a small place, only enough seating for a dozen people, and they’re shown to their sets right away.

The next few hours are easy and Magnus enjoys himself immensely. Each course is fantastic with fresh, inventive ingredients and the drinks just keep on coming. He’s pleasantly buzzed by the end of the meal.

The light is low in the restaurant and as he looks over at Alec, his heart squeezes a little painfully in his chest. He’s thirty years old and sharing a wonderful meal-- a lovely night-- with someone he loves.

It’s more than he had last year and more than he figured he’d have this year.

He’s so focused on Alec-- on the way his boyfriend grins over at him before he takes a long drink of wine, the way his hair is a little messy so that his fingers itch to bury themselves in the dark locks, at how thoughtful Alec was to treat him to a dinner he’d wanted to try for ages-- that he doesn’t immediately notice the waiter standing at his side.

When he does, Magnus looks up only to do a double take.

Confusion gives way almost immediately to understanding as a small cake with a lone candle is placed in front of him.

The waiter acknowledges Magnus’s thanks and leaves without another word, leaving Alec and Magnus alone.

Magnus’s gaze is torn between the cake and Alec who’s smiling softly over at him.

“How did you know,” he asks, clearing his throat.

Shrugging, Alec merely offers, “When you found out about my birthday but didn’t tell me yours, I asked Cat. I didn’t want to accidentally miss it. I figured that since you didn’t tell me, you might not want a big deal made so I thought dinner would be a good compromise between too much and at least doing something.”

Reaching over the table, Magnus cups Alec’s cheek, bringing him close for a lingering kiss. “Thank you, Alexander.”

“Happy birthday, Magnus,” is the equally quiet reply and Magnus leans back in his seat as he looks at the cute little cake.

He closes his eyes and for the first time in over ten years, he makes a wish.

When he opens them a few seconds later, it’s to see Alec hastily lowering his phone.

Laughing, Magnus chastises him. “Really,” he asks wryly.

Unrepentant, Alec just says, “It’s your birthday. I’m entitled.”

“You’re entitled--” Magnus starts, mockingly indignant and he feels Alec’s foot nudge his own.

“Eat your cake, babe.”

The first bite is delicious and Magnus hums a little. It’s dark chocolate with a raspberry coulis and he eats almost half before he gives in to Alec’s pleading looks.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he says brightly. “Did you want a taste, darling?”

He feels heat slink up his spine at the look Alec gives him. “Yeah,” he hears him say and then Alec’s reaching over the table and pulling him close. He kisses him, licking into his mouth, sucking the chocolate off his goddamn tongue.

Magnus might make a noise, he’s not entirely sure, and he brings his free hand up to rest against Alec’s chest, stroking upward until he can curl his fingers into the hair at his nape, pulling him imperceptibly closer.

Alec takes his time, not in any rush to pull away and when he does Magnus whines faintly in protest.

He’s sufficiently distracted and he doesn’t react right away when Alec grabs the spoon from his limp hand and takes a frankly appallingly large bite from his cake.

“This is so good,” Alec mutters and Magnus just stares at him.

“Alexander.”

Alec hums a little as he reaches over and Magnus gives up, pushing the plate towards his boyfriend.

“Don’t you think it’s time we asked for the check.”

With a grin that’s a little too cheeky, Alec looks up from his dessert. “Why,” he asks idly. “Have you got something to do?”

Magnus just sends him an arch look and Alec laughs before getting the waiter’s attention.

Once the bill’s paid, they walk out, holding hands. Alec pulls him close to his side, arm over his shoulders, and Magnus turns his head so that he can kiss the sliver of his wrist that’s exposed to the chilly air.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get you a present,” Alec says, apropos of nothing. “Everything’s been so hectic that--”

Magnus stops him, raising a finger until it hovers over his mouth. “Please, don’t worry about getting me a present. This dinner was more than enough. You’re more than enough on a daily basis, darling.”

“Still,” Alec says, apologetic. “Nothing seemed quite right and I’ve just been so busy--”

Stopping by the car, Magnus pulls him close, cutting him off with a kiss that lingers far too long in the street. When he pulls back, Magnus is pleased to see that Alec doesn’t look capable of arguing with him any longer.

The drive home goes by quickly. Magnus is a little preoccupied as Alec leans into him, spending the ride paying special attention to his neck until Magnus can’t see straight, leaning against his side, head tilted up so that moonlight spills over his face.

The two of them make it to the loft eventually and Alec leads them to the bedroom. Magnus relaxes into red sheets as Alec takes his time undressing him. The whisper of clothing being removed the only sound in the room.

Alec kisses down his chest as he unbuttons the rest of his shirt and when he stops suddenly, it takes Magnus a moment to figure out what must’ve grabbed his attention.

“Like it,” he asks with a lazy grin, widening the space between his legs to make more room for his boyfriend.

“Fuck,” Alec breathes and then Magnus feels Alec continue his path, kissing down his stomach, nibbling across a jutting hipbone before he closes gentle teeth over the piercing at his navel, giving it a slight tug.

Magnus groans, fisting a hand in Alec’s hair, urging him closer, as he lets his hips roll up to where Alec’s stupidly close but still too far away.

Unbuckling his belt, Alec helps Magnus tug off his pants along with his underwear and then Magnus is naked with Alec still fully clothed over him.

He feels the scratch of stubble over the sensitive skin of his inner thigh and he shivers a little as Alec bites down on the muscle there.

He pulls away for a moment and Magnus hears a drawer sliding open before Alec tosses lube and a condom on the bed.

Alec leans close and Magnus wraps a leg over his as they kiss. It’s strange to be so exposed while Alec hasn’t taken anything off but it feels so damned good. When Alec pulls back and urges him to his stomach, Magnus can’t stop the little grin comes over his face.

Wiggling his hips a little, finally getting some friction, Magnus’s breath catches as he hears Alec finally taking his clothes off.

And then there’s a long line of heat over him, pressing Magnus into the mattress. Closing his mouth on the juncture between his neck and shoulder, Alec lets his hands wander down to his ass. Magnus has no idea when Alec managed to coat his fingers with the lube but a slick finger eases inside and Magnus’s hips arch up to Alec as his boyfriend starts opening him with slow, incredibly thorough fingers.

A broken moan spills out of Magnus as Alec pulls his three fingers out, what seems like ages later. Everything’s gone a little hazy at the edges and Magnus rolls his hips up, trying to encourage Alec to keep going as he feels his building orgasm creep out of reach.

“C’mon, darling. You know it’s not fun to tease,” he mutters into his pillow, sagging into the bed when Alec, the sadist, does nothing but laugh.

Magnus tenses up a moment later, though, when he feels Alec’s breath ghost over the small of his back. “But it’s so much fun to tease you,” he replies with a quick nip on his ass.

Alec spreads him, exposing him to cool air and Magnus groans, something low and utterly desperate. “Oh God, Alec.”

He feels the rough pad of a thumb over his hole before Alec’s asking, “This okay?”

“More than,” Magnus gasps, answering almost before Alec’s finished talking. “Please.”

Without wasting any more time, Alec licks across the tight ring of muscle and Magnus swears he goes half blind at the first stroke of his tongue. Alec doesn’t seem in any particular hurry as he eats Magnus out and if Magnus had it in him to care, he’d probably try to tamp down on the noises that wrench out of him as Alec works his tongue into his ass, as he hears the little hungry sounds that escape his boyfriend as he closes his mouth over Magnus’s hole and sucks, as Magnus hears what must be the sounds of Alec working his own cock over, hips rolling into his fist.

Almost without warning, Magnus tips over the edge, hot and sudden. Alec licks him through it, easing up until Magnus collapses into the bed, feeling remarkably like jelly.

Alec kisses a trail up his back, nudging his legs wider apart, and Magnus feels the blunt head of his cock over his sensitive hole. A full body shudder wracks Magnus and his hips jerk up. He moans at the pressure and Alec’s teeth close over his shoulder as he guides himself in, working into Magnus inch by inch.

Sparks shoot up his spine and Magnus gasps a little as he squeezes around Alec’s cock, enjoying the feeling of being so fucking full.

Urging him onto his knees, Alec grips his hips as he pulls back slowly, almost until he’s out, before thrusting back in, in one smooth stroke.

Bracing his hands on the mattress, Magnus meets Alec’s thrusts and before he quite knows it, his second orgasm is hovering at the edges.

Alec drapes himself over his back and Magnus hears his sharp breaths in his ear as Alec hoarsely mutters, “So good, you’re so good. Shit, babe, it’s like you were made for me. Made to take my cock, made to love me.”

“Yes,” Magnus breathes. “Fuck yes, Alexander. I love you so much darling.”

Alec reaches around, wrapping a hand around his cock, moving over him in perfect counterpoint to his thrusts. Magnus comes for a second time as his rhythm falters and then he feels Alec tense against him before he’s groaning long and low in his ear as he comes too.

It takes them awhile to get their breath and distantly Magnus wonders if he’ll ever be able to stand again.

Eventually, though, they do get out of bed. Taking a quick shower before climbing into pajamas and settling on the couch, Magnus turns the tv on to an old movie as they relax in the living room.

Alec’s a comforting weight on top of him and Magnus runs absent fingers through his hair as they watch tv. All around, this is one of the best birthdays he can remember and he knows he owes it all to Alec.

Alec takes out his phone before Magnus hears him scoff.

Stilling his fingers, he asks, “Something wrong?”

“Isabelle just texted me that she’s staying over at Maia’s tonight. Honestly,” Alec continues, “Jace has moved in with Clary and now Isabelle all but told me she’d be moving in with Maia soon.”

“What,” Magnus asks. “Maia and Isabelle are moving in together?”

Lifting up from him a little, Alec leans over him so that he can look at him properly. “Yeah? She told me last week that they’ve been looking up apartments together.”

Magnus’s mind goes into overtime as he considers what Alec’s just told him. He can’t quiet the thought that persists, though, knocking on his head a little too insistently.

“So,” he starts. “It’s just you now? That penthouse must feel pretty empty these days,” he teases.

Alec laughs a little, relaxing until he can brush his nose against Magnus’s throat. “Yeah, you could say that. We’ve lived together so long that it’s definitely going to be an adjustment not to have them there any longer. But they’re both happy and I’m happy for them. It’s definitely for the best.”

It’s quiet for a little while after that. Alec’s presumably focused on the tv, drawing little patters on Magnus’s side with a wandering hand, but Magnus can’t help but think about possibilities.

“Hey, Alec,” he says, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, babe?”

“I think I know what I want for my birthday.”

Straightening, Alec doesn’t stop moving until they’re sitting, facing each other.

“Yeah? Anything,” he promises, grinning.

Clearing his throat, Magnus reaches for Alec’s hand, sweeping a thumb over his knuckles in a little anxious gesture that he doesn’t even realize he’s doing.

“Well, it occurs to me that it might be lonely at your place now that your siblings are moving out. It also occurs to me that we spend almost every night together. If you put those two things together plus the fact that I’m hopelessly in love with you and I hope the conclusion--”

“Is perfect,” Alec says, eyes crinkling at the corners since he’s smiling so big.

“Yeah,” Magnus asks, gaze searching Alec’s. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to or like I’m expecting anything. It’s an offer, nothing more.”

“Magnus, are you kidding me? I love you and you’re right-- for the past few months, I’ve been here more than I’ve been to my own apartment.”

Magnus lets hope catch in his chest as he smiles a little, just a gentle curve of his mouth. “I don’t want you to feel like you’d be giving up anything. I know you love your penthouse and it’s so much nicer than my place. If you wanted to--”

This time Alec pulls him closer for searing kiss that makes his toes curl against the carpet. Magnus’s breathing is a little unsteady when they break apart a few moments later.

Resting his forehead against Magnus’s, Alec speaks in the space between their lips. “I’d love to move in with you, babe. While I like my apartment, it’s just a place. Especially now that Jace and Iz won’t be there, it doesn’t really hold anything important. Here, though? This is a home.”

“Our home,” Magnus whispers, looking up to meet Alec’s eyes. “If you want.”

“I love you, Magnus. I can’t think of anything I’d love more than moving in together. As long as you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” Magnus says, no hesitation. He laughs a little, nosing along Alec’s wrist. “Half your shit’s already here anyway.”

Alec laughs too before he leans forward. Magnus lets himself fall back on the couch. They spend the rest of the evening talking about plans and Magnus can’t remember ever feeling so sure of a decision.

Magnus reaches out, frowning when his hand hits something. Blinking open bleary eyes, he lifts up to an elbow looking at where Alec should be.

Instead, he finds a note taped to something. Sighing a little, Magnus sits up and reaches for whatever it is.

Pulling the note from where it’s taped to what Magnus now sees is a CD in a plain, clear case, he reads the note.

Magnus,

Happy birthday. Did you really think I didn’t get you anything?

P.S. You’re the only person outside of the production team that’s heard this. Management tried their damnedest to talk me out of this but I want you to have first access. You deserve to know the truth and know that I mean every word.

P.P.S. I love you, so much. I hope these songs remind you of that every time you listen to them.

--Alec

Suddenly wide awake, Magnus picks up the innocuous cd. He turns it over but the only thing that’s scrawled on the cover is Album 7-- Feel Something.

He throws the covers off and spends ten minutes running around his apartment looking for a goddamned cd player before he remembers that it’s 2018 and he hasn’t had one of those in a damn decade.

Remembering his laptop, Magnus hurries to his study, wearing just his boxers, as he slides the cd in.

Almost immediately the first song starts playing-- he's a little surprised to see that there are nineteen tracks in all-- and Magnus lets the notes drift over him, turning the volume up to its maximum.

He sits in his chair, closing his eyes as Alec’s voice comes through the speakers. It’s presumably the title track, the single he’d heard back in September. It’s familiar and it makes him smile, emotion clinging to him now that he has irrevocable knowledge that this song was about them.

It wraps around his heart. It fills him with love and he wonders how the hell he got so lucky.

There are songs that make him a little hot under his collar like Black Magic and Crazy in Love and I’ve Never Loved This Hard This Fast Before. There are a few songs that make Magnus wonder at the Alec whose on tour like Better Man and Life of the Party and The Way I Am. He makes them both a silent promise that he won’t let tour come between them whenever the time comes.

There’s a song or two that makes tears threaten to well up like Worship or I Like Me Better or Wanna Be Missed.

He listens to the album once through and then another. He lets the music sink into him and he knows he’s smiling too much, a stupid grin on his face, but he can’t help it.

Most of him that can’t believe that Alec trusted him enough to give him unfettered access to his album. He can’t believe Alec bared his heart to him. Magnus knows Alec’s music is so incredibly personal to him and he doesn’t take this privilege for granted.

God, he loves this man.

After listening through it twice, Magnus puts it on shuffle as he leaves his study. He goes back to the bedroom and picks up his phone from where it’d been charging overnight.

Unlocking it, he swipes over Alec’s contact information and brings it up to his ear. It only rings twice before he hears Alec’s voice, warm in his ear.

“So? What’s the verdict?”

Laughing, Magnus wanders over to his window, idly watching the people down below.

“You have to know I loved it, Alexander. Thank you,” he says quietly. “I never expected you to let me have early access to the album.”

“It’s only fair since the whole damned thing is about you,” Alec replies wryly. There’s a beat of silence before he tentatively asks, “It’s okay? It’s not too much?”

Shaking his head even though Alec can’t see him, Magnus’s answer is honest as he says, “It’s perfect.”

Alec laughs a little. “Even track 8?”

Narrowing his eyes a little, Magnus goes back to his office, moving his mouse hurriedly to wake the screen up as he scans the track list. When he realizes what song Alec’s talking about, he barks out a laugh.

“Don’t get me wrong, it is explicit,” Magnus eventually says. His voice is low as he adds, “But by all means, darling, if that’s how I make you feel.”

Alec clears his throat. “Every word,” he murmurs.

Running a hand through his hair, Magnus tugs on the strands a little, trying to clear his head.

Conversation drifts to other things after a few more minutes, though Magnus knows that they’ll be talking about this tonight. He has a hundred and one questions he wants to ask-- when did Alec start writing about him? How is it possible that he can make Alec Lightwood feel so much?-- but he wants to do it in person.

Hanging up after their routine I Love Yous, Magnus heads to the shower.

Work stops for no man, no matter how much he might just want to sit and listen to his boyfriend’s album that’s all about him. Magnus spends most of the day on cloud nine as he works through papers and exams and entering grades online, all the while thinking about how to show Alec just how appreciative he is of his artistic talents.

For some reason, he thinks with a smile, grading isn’t quite as tedious as it usually is, not when he has Alec in his ears and in his head.

[ruminativerabbi]

The End of Privacy

I have been revised! The news came just the other day in an email from ancestry.com informing me that my DNA profile has been revised in light of serious amounts of new data that they have recently processed and which now allow them to refine my ancestral portrait based on the DNA sample I sent them last spring. And now for the results: instead of being of 96% European Ashkenazic heritage, 2% Sephardic, 1% South-East Asian (a true mystery) and 1% of indistinct origin (whatever that meant exactly), my DNA profile has now been revised to yield the completely un-startling result that, genetically speaking (as well as by disposition, worldview, and appearance), I am of 100% Ashkenazic/European origin. Was I surprised? Not very! And yet…I had come to like the idea of having some weirdly inexplicable Sri Lankan blood in me somewhere, something that, at the very least, could have turned into a good short story. I suppose I’ll get over it. I might as well! 

Joan took the test too and received similarly expected results. I suppose most people do. But, of course, not all do. I wrote to you last year about the remarkable way that a woman from Chicago discovered that her (apparently) 100% Irish Catholic father turned out to have started out in life as a 100% Jewish baby boy who was sent home with the wrong set of parents and whose real parents (i.e., the woman who gave birth to him and his biological father) took whom the (actually) Irish Catholic baby who grew up to be a Jewish man from the Bronx and the patriarch of a large, complicated Jewish family. (If you find that confusing, you can revisit that letter by clicking here.) There, I mused aloud about the malleable boundaries of identity, about what it means to be who we are—and what that means with respect to the ultimate definition of Jewishness or, for that matter, any kind of identity deemed to inhere in an individual at birth. To my great surprise, I actually received an email from the woman with the Jewish Irish Catholic father in response to what I wrote about her case and I was very gratified indeed by her very generous appraisal of what I had to say about her situation and her father’s.

You have to be a serious genealogist to take advantage of most of what these online DNA sites offer. When I visit the ancestry.com website, for example, I can see the names of more than a dozen people whom the site says are “almost definitely” my fourth or fifth cousins. (Fifth cousins are people, one of whose thirty-two great-great-great-grandparents was a sibling of one of the other person’s thirty-two great-great-great-grandparents.) I’ll have to upgrade my membership if I want actually to contact any of them, but I haven’t taken that step. Nor do I think I will in the future. (In all fairness, they’ve also dangled the names of two second cousins to see if I’ll take the bait. So far, I’ve resisted.) But it turns out that there is a lot more to all of this than learning the names of theoretical cousins possibly descended from theoretical siblings who lived in the eighteenth century.

One of the side developments of all this DNA testing is the discovery some men have made, not of distant cousins, but of children inadvertently fathered somewhere along the way and in any number of different ways. (This phenomenon, which will only become more common in the coming years, has touched one family in our congregation and it has touched my own family as well. Those two stories were different in detail, but identical in terms of result…and, although both appear to be having happy endings, it feels unlikely that there are not out there people whose entire lives have been or will be turned upside down by this kind of unanticipated revelation.) Another has to do with the forensic use of these data banks to solve crimes long consigned to the “cold case” bin and only now becoming solvable in the wake of the proliferation of these online DNA banks.  You may recall reading about the arrest of the man police accuse of being the so-called “Golden State Killer,” a violent criminal considered likely to be responsible for fifty rapes and a dozen murders committed between 1976 and 1986 whose identity was only revealed to the authorities after they uploaded DNA taken from the crime scenes to a site called GETmatch.com. (To read more about that specific case, click here. Making that specific case more interesting is the fact that although the suspect did not personally offer his DNA to any of the online testing sites, a few of his relatives did…and matching the crime-scene DNA to their profiles led to the arrest of the sole individual to whom they were all related.)

But the specific issue I want to write about this week has to do neither with the discovery of unknown offspring nor the solution of cold-case crimes. Instead, I’d like to write about an issue that feels as though it has the potential to dwarf both those issues in terms of the impact it could conceivably have on society.

To date, about fifteen million people have consciously and intentionally sent in samples of their DNA for analysis to sites like 23andme.com or ancestry.com. Another couple of million have signed up at a few less well-known sites. We are, therefore, talking about far less than 10% of American citizens, but the implications of this phenomenon are far greater than the numbers suggest. Just this week, a study co-written by Yaniv Erlich, Tal Shor, Itsik Pe’er, and Shai Carmi was published in the journal Science that suggested just how important this whole phenomenon is…and how it will soon affect the lives of millions of people who themselves have not sent in their DNA for analysis.

To date, about sixty percent of Americans of North European descent—Brits, Germans, Poles, Danes, Swedes, etc.—can be identified through these databases regardless of whether they have personally sent in their DNA for analysis. And that number is only the beginning: within two or three years, the authors of the Science essay imagine that a full ninety percent of Americans whose families originate in northern Europe will be identifiable through their DNA even if they themselves have not personally contributed any DNA sample.

To me, that sounded unbelievable. It’s one thing, after all, for my ancestry.com page to say that mitchKK (whoever he is) and I are “highly likely” to be second cousins. (I think we probably are cousins, by the way—the 2nd K matches the odd way my great-grandparents spelled their last name so I’m guessing one of his grandfathers must have been one of my grandmother’s brothers.) But that only sounds plausible because we both contributed samples of our DNA and so opened ourselves up to being identified as each other’s relative. But how could this possibly work with people who specifically have not contributed their DNA? That’s what I set myself to trying to figure out.

I’m not sure I understand the Science article entirely correctly. (To try for yourself, click here.) But as far as I can understand, the whole thing has to do with third cousins because, it turns out, the way the tests work is precisely to identify people whose DNA samples match closely enough for them to be third cousins, i.e., the great-grandchildren of siblings. Most of us apparently have about 800 people in the world whose DNA matches ours to that extent. And if just one of those people is in the data base, then someone who truly knows what he or she is doing can extrapolate information based on other public records to find a trail to a sought-after individual even if that person has not personally contributed DNA of his or her own.  This does not bode well for people who value their privacy.

The authors of the Science article chose thirty DNA test results at random from the GEDmatch database and then, by analyzing that data and using public information available to all, they were able to identify third cousins of about 60% the people whose DNA they had selected for study. (GEDmatch, with only a million customers, is significantly smaller than its competitors but was amenable to allowing the experiment to proceed.). In an article describing the experiment published in the New York Times this week (click here), Heather Murphy quoted Yaniv Erlich, one of the authors of the Science article, as saying that, “to identify an individual of any ancestry background, all that is needed is a database containing two percent of the target population.” That stopped me in my tracks.  

Is that really possible? Graham Coop, a genetics professor at the University of California Davis who is cited in the Times article, thinks so and is quoted as saying that “society is not far from being able to identify 90 percent of people through the DNA of their cousins in genealogical databases.” In my opinion, anyone who doesn’t find that both startling and seriously unsettling probably hasn’t thought the matter through carefully enough!

I’ve been sensitive for a long time to the slow erosion of personal privacy in our American culture. For most of us, that thought conjures up almost funny images of some drone at the NSA poring over trillions of emails that could not possibly be of interest to anyone other than the person to whom they were sent. But the thought that society seems to be blundering almost unawares into a future in which personal privacy is a thing of the past and the fullness of an individual’s genetic heritage is suddenly a matter of public record regardless of whether that individual has or hasn’t chosen to become part the digital quarry from which amateurs like myself presumed such data could only be mined—that seems to me to be far beyond something reasonably referenced as a quirky innovation of the digital age. The right to personal privacy in life—to live free without the oversight of others and without their interference—is one of the fundamental privileges of citizens in a democracy. That we appear to be on the verge of losing control over that foundational right is just another sign of just how out of control things are as we barrel into the future only vaguely aware of what we ourselves have wrought.

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

How the 'x' became a sign of female solidarity in the age of harassment

One letter of the alphabet has more currency than all the others combined. That letter is "x". 

Unlike in mathematics, the value of "x" is known in the era of internet messaging. That "x" is most often used to convey a kiss when affixed to the end of a text, DM, or email. 

And in an era when women are met with hostility and vitriol on the internet, this tiny, inconsequential letter can be used to communicate solidarity and support during particularly dark times.

There was a time when I thought the addition of an "x" from strangers and professional acquaintances slightly disingenuous. Those days are gone, though. After a bout of deeply vicious online harassment, I realised kindness on the internet was something that's in all too short a supply. This profoundly isolating experience made me completely change my mind about how I felt about receiving "digital kisses" from strangers online. 

SEE ALSO: Twitter cliques might feel like high school, but their existence is tied to our human nature

Last September, I endured a two-day stint of particularly aggressive harassment on Twitter after I wrote an article arguing that women and LGBTQ people shouldn't be the punchlines of political jokes. Seems like a pretty reasonable point to make, right? Well, apparently not. I ended up on the receiving end of insults from a group of free-speech defenders who decided I needed to be put in my place. As well as hurling a lot of nasty abuse at me, these trolls went through my recent tweets and personal essays I'd written about my love life. They mocked the fact that a recent Hinge match had stood me up for date, and they told me I should change careers and find something I'm actually good at. According to one troll, it's "unsurprising" that I got stood up because my dates must look me up and "realise what a childish nightmare" I'd be to date. Um, OK?

For two days straight, I lived in a state of heart-racing anxiety, constantly checking my phone to try to stem the torrent of abuse. Incidentally, this bout of trolling kicked off on my best friend's 30th birthday, which basically meant I ended up sitting in the corner of a sticky dance floor in a Clapham nightclub at midnight, trawling through my mentions to make sure everything was under control. Even though I was in a crowded room full of people, I have never felt more alone in my whole life. When friends realised what was going on, they swooped into my DMs to express their support and solidarity. They sent heart emoji and "digital kisses". It doesn't sound like much, but when you've been up against a barrage of vitriol, it was profoundly touching.

Since that incident, I've paid closer attention to women's tweets about harassment and abuse. In the mentions, you'll always find the same thing: scores of other women responding with messages of love and support — usually signed off with a kiss or a heart emoji. 

Dr Mariann Hardey — professor in marketing at Durham University Business School, whose research focuses on how women share their stories of chronic pain on Facebook, Twitter, and Reddit — says the "x" has become "a way of showing advocacy and support from an anonymous internet stranger" — particularly among women. 

"The advocacy of the kiss is a really interesting new cultural form," Hardey tells me. "It's that extension of kindness in reaching out and the expectation of nothing in return." She's noticed that the bicep emoji is also a popular "show of strength" when people are sharing stories that are personal, sensitive, and traumatic. 

Hardey says that an "x" can also be used in isolation without any further words to communicate support. "Just an "x" as a reply as a response is acceptable, you don't have to have an extra narrative explaining what you meant," she adds. "In those contexts I've never read it as something that's overtly sexual or flirtatious — it's definitely like a digital hug in solidarity."

Last week was one marked by extreme misogynistic vitriol aimed at UK Labour MP Jess Phillips. UKIP candidate Carl Benjamin "joked" in a YouTube video that he might rape Phillips. "There's been an awful lot of talk about whether I would or wouldn't rape Jess Phillips," Benjamin said on his YouTube channel Sargon of Akkad on April 26. "I've been in a lot of trouble for my hardline stance of not even raping her. I suppose with enough pressure I might cave. But let's be honest, nobody's got that much beer." 

Guess what I am finding hard is the awakening to an even bigger audience of the "would we or wouldn't we rape Jess Phillips" because of legitimising of the perpetrator. I've dealt with it in drips for nearly 4 years and just deleted or blocked. It's like a torrent at the moment

— Jess Phillips (@jessphillips) May 5, 2019

The abuse didn't end there. Phillips also tweeted a screenshot of Twitter's response to her reporting someone who said she needed "a good fucking to sort out" her teeth, which Twitter said was not in violation of its rules against abuse. To add insult to injury, Phillips was accosted in the street by a man as she left parliament, who asked why Benjamin isn't allowed to joke about raping her before yelling, "I pay your wages."

Just leaving Westminster and and man ran down the street along side me asking me about why Carl Benjamin shouldn't be able to joke about my rape. Shouting "I pay your wages".

— Jess Phillips (@jessphillips) May 7, 2019

Phillips told the BBC's Victoria Derbyshire programme that she "cried in the street" after hearing Benjamin's video. Misogynist invective is something Phillips has been dealing with since becoming an MP in 2015. In 2018, she spoke out about receiving 600 rape threats in one night and said she'd "stopped counting" the number of abusive messages she's received.

One thing that was really heartening to see in the midst of this barrage of misogyny was the messages of solidarity in response to Phillips' tweets. I could see scores of women responding to her tweets with kind, supportive words, often signed off with one "x" or more. 

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this rancid shit, Jess. For what's its worth. you are ace. x

— Sarah Phelps (@PhelpsieSarah) May 3, 2019

I am so sorry you have to deal with this filth, and that those who make these threats go unregulated and unpunished. Sending love and solidarity xx

— Sue Perkins (@sueperkins) May 5, 2019

💪 we’ve got your back xx

— Caroline Criado Perez (@CCriadoPerez) May 5, 2019

Women are harassed on Twitter every 30 seconds, per a major 2018 study by Amnesty International. One of the main problems standing in the way of fully tackling this problem is social media companies' — particularly Twitter's — inaction in the face of widespread misogynistic abuse. In the report, Amnesty International’s senior advisor for tactical research, Milena Marin, said: "Twitter’s failure to crack down on this problem means it is contributing to the silencing of already marginalised voices." 

"Twitter is a place where racism, misogyny and homophobia are allowed to flourish basically unchecked," Marin continued. 

It might not seem like much, but showing your support to someone who's having a really rough time can go a long way. 

It’s an absolute disgrace that you’re having to deal with this Jess. Sending love xx

— Rosalind Sack (@Ros_Sack) May 5, 2019

These people are absolute garbage. And those who say “just ignore them” drive me almost as nuts. I’m sorry this is happening AGAIN. We are all behind you. Xx

— Sali Hughes (@salihughes) May 5, 2019

This is absolutely grotesque. Jess I’m so sorry you are feeling tired and low. The sisterhood stands with you. Courage X

— Sophie Walker (@SophieRunning) May 3, 2019

While social media companies are often slow to respond to rife online abuse and hostility, the very least we bystanders can do in times like these is express our solidarity and support — whether that means DMing a person to say that you're sorry to see what's happening and that they don't deserve it, or simply tweeting a heart emoji at someone. 

Solidarity Jess. It’s disgusting x

— Tracy Ann Oberman (@TracyAnnO) May 5, 2019

We live in an age where often it feels the default response online is to drag, cancel, and publicly shame. But, what's the opposite of that? Silence?

It's all too easy to stay quiet when our friends, acquaintances, and colleagues are being vilified. It's the speaking up and letting them know they're supported and loved that takes effort and courage. 

Besides, you never know, your message might arrive when the person needs it the most. 

Be kind out there. xx

WATCH: 82 women walked this year's Cannes red carpet in protest, calling for gender equality in the film industry

[royalnightoutphff]

Chapter Twenty-Four

A/N: I'm posting this now because I have new classes starting on Monday, so I'm not exactly sure when I'll get a chance to post again (at least until next weekend). Also, this chapter is a little different in that we see a bit of Harry's perspective. So far this is the only time i have planned for that but if it's well-recieved I could do it more :) As always, don't be afraid to send feedback!

Harry had made it to his office in plenty of time that morning. He’d even had enough time to eat breakfast, something that hardly ever happened. And as he was sitting at his desk sifting through paperwork, his mind was going through various encounters with the charities he was reading about, and his Grandmother’s upcoming birthday, and finally, Lexy, wondering if she was enjoying her sleep. He couldn’t wait to talk to her, curious to see what she’d gotten up to. She hadn’t answered his texts the night before and he was anxious to hear how her day had gone.

There was a knock at the door before his personal secretary poked his head in the door.

“Ed,” Harry greeted, a look of pleasure mounting his face at the sight of his secretary. They’d always gotten on well and were more friends than anything else. “How’s it going?”

Ed simply shook his head in response. “Harry, they know.”

Harry’s face fell instantly and he visibly swallowed. “Fuck,” he muttered, kicking his desk. “Things were going so well.”

“You need to call her. Immediately. Prepare her.”

Harry glanced at the clock. “She’s not awake yet. Won’t be for another few hours. She doesn’t get up for another four hours at least.”

“Can’t you call her? Wake her up?”

“Her phone is always on silent when she’s sleeping. She doesn’t like to be woken up.” She’d also told Harry that it was mostly a decision from when her father would call her multiple times when he was drunk, more often than not in the dead of the night.

“Do your best. We’ve got Princeton on the line. Their campus is crawling with reporters. They know her dorm and are surrounding it.”

“What?” Harry exclaimed even louder. He was starting to panic, thinking of her all alone, and no idea what she should do. “Can’t we do something about it? Kick them out?”

“It’s the American press. We don’t have a handle on anything they do. And besides, it’s a public campus, it can’t be regulated. The best you can do is get in touch with her and warn her about what’s coming.”

“She’s not answering!” Harry snapped as it went straight to voicemail again. He felt like punching something, only imagining what her reaction was going to be. He hung his head in his hands. “God, she’s not going to take this well. This might be the end.”

“Harry, if she cares about you—“

“You don’t know her, Ed. You don’t know Lexy. This is going to freak her out.”

Ed watched him carefully, wondering if he had ever seen Harry so distraught in his time as his secretary. “Would seeing what they’ve written make it better or worse?”

Harry sighed but picked his head up and held a hand out to reach for the iPad Ed was holding. He read the first one and then looked up at Ed. “What the fuck is this? This isn’t even about her! This is about her sister! Is this even allowed?”

“Harry, I told you, we don’t have a handle on the American press. We can’t do anything.”

“This isn’t even about her. God, she is going to kill me. I didn’t even know this. Wait—this happened last night! Fuck, she might not even know yet.”

Ed continued to watch him, watching as Harry stood up and began to pace back and forth across the room, constantly fidgeting, adjusting his tie. He groaned. “I don’t know how to fix this!”

“Harry, you can’t fix it. You know this is how it goes.”

“This is how it goes?! Having her family blown up all over the media? She’s had such a fucking hard life, Ed. This isn’t fair. Maybe I shouldn’t put her through this anymore than I have to.”

“This isn’t your fault, Harry. Just keep calling her.”

And because even if he did hop on a flight and get to her as soon as possible, he wouldn’t make it in time, Harry sat down at his desk and continued to call her, hoping that eventually she would answer.

**

And across the Atlantic, Lexy had no idea what was happening at all.

There were two things that happened on April 10th that she wasn’t prepared for. And, unfortunately for her, she woke up too late to deal with either one of them.

She’d been up late finishing a paper and had avoided her phone all evening, even Harry. When she’d finally gone to bed, the sun had been about to come up, and Lexy was cursing every deity she could think of.

When her snooze went off for the third time, Lexy realized she was already eight minutes late for her German class. She threw her phone away from her, disregarding the three missed calls she had from Harry and the two from Chase, her sister’s husband. Lexy got dressed in a hurry, pulling on jeans and a hoodie and throwing her hair up into a bun without even brushing it.

If she’d taken a moment to slow down, she would have noticed Nicole warily watching her from her behind her laptop screen, already awake to finish her own essay. But Lexy threw on her favorite boots and hurried out the door, ready to break out into a run as soon as she reached the pavement.

But as soon as she did open the door, she was met with flash after flash.

“Lexy! Where is Prince Harry now?”

“Lexy! What do you think about your sister?”

“Lexy! Can you confirm that Harry will be asking you to marry him this year?”

Lexy squinted, waving through them the best she could. She was confused as to what the hell was going on and the clock was ticking. If she missed anymore class, she was going to get participation points off. So she broke off into a run, not thinking about how it would come off to the press, and paid no attention to all of those behind her.

But when Lexy reached her classroom, she received strange looks from every other person in the room, including her German professor. She tried her best to ignore them and fell into her normal seat, mumbling an apology about being late.

It wasn’t until they broke into partners to decipher a poem that Lexy had an opportunity to question what was going on.

“Why does everyone keep looking at me today?” Lexy asked in a low voice to her partner. She’d caught a girl who sat across from her staring at her at least six times already, and there was still ten minutes to go.

Lexy’s partner stared at her. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah? What’s going on?”

The girl huffed and pulled out her phone, doing something on it before shoving a twitter app in front of Lexy’s face. The number one trending topic was “Harry and Lexy.”

Lexy stared at it horror, then shock, and finally her mouth dropped open. How could she have been stupid? That’s who had been taking pictures of her. Lexy swallowed, trying to compose herself.

“Do you know when this came out?”

The girl shrugged. “I woke up to it. President Eisgruber has issued a statement about the reporters on campus. Check your email.”

Lexy wanted nothing other than to pull out her phone herself and make a call to Harry right then but she knew that that action really would cost her the participation points so she did her best to get her eyes from welling up and focused on as many conjugations as she could.

When class was finally over, Lexy finally pulled out her phone, ready to call Harry when he called her again. She accepted the call and put it up to her ear.

“Thank God you’ve answered! Lexy,” He said immediately. “I am so, so sorry. I’m trying to handle this the best I can but I can’t do anything about the American press.”

“It’s alright, I guess,” Lexy told him. She hadn’t gone outside just yet, being able to see what awaited her by looking out the window. There were at least twenty people littered around the building she was in. They could take all the pictures they wanted, but every building was locked, so they couldn’t reach her there.

“I tried to warn you this morning. I’ve called you nearly twenty times.”

“I woke up late. I was up doing a paper last night. I was late to class.”

“So that’s why you were running?” He questioned.

“Why I was running?” Lexy asked. Then she was horrified again, because she realized that there had been a video of her doing what looked like running away from the cameras. And then she felt awful because she knew she looked awful, and that meant that Harry would have seen her like that. “Oh God.”

She buried her face in one hand. “Where are you?”

“In my German building. I’m about to go to my room.”

“So you haven’t read anything yet?”

“No. Someone showed me that we were trending on twitter and the president of the university sent out an email about it but that’s it.”

“Don’t read anything until you get there. And don’t talk to anyone. Say absolutely nothing. Do you want me to stay on the phone until you get there?”

Lexy thought of how parasitic they had been when she hadn’t even known what was going on. “Harry, there’s no way I can’t say anything.”

“Lexy, don’t say a word. If you do, they have something to write. If you don’t, it’s not interesting. Look, I can pretend to be a friend or something, we’ll make something up.”

“What if I drop my phone? And they see your name?”

Harry sighed. “Please don’t do that. And Lexy, do not listen to a word they say, alright? And don’t panic when they do.”

Lexy thought his words were strange but decided not to comment as the entire situation was already weird enough. So she let Harry design a game plan for her and then decided she would walk to her room with music in, letting Harry off the hook with talking to her.

“Call me as soon as you get to your room,” Harry commanded. “Be careful. And Lexy, don’t say a word.”

“I won’t,” Lexy promised. Then she put her headphones in, turned the music as loud as it would go, and did her very best to ignore the shouting all around her and the hands waving in her face. When she finally made it back to her room, she was glad Nicole was not there, and dialed Harry’s number.

He picked up immediately. “Lexy?”

She started to cry. “Harry, what do I do? I have another class in an hour.”

“Listen to me, baby,” his own voice cracking as he called her the endearment. “I’ll figure this out, okay? You don’t have to worry.”

“How can I not? I have to leave! I didn’t ask for this,” she sobbed. “I want my mom.”

Harry had begun to realize that when Lexy cried for her mom, it was more of a defense mechanism, like he probably had done, in the beginning.

“I wish you had her, babe. I really do. I’m so sorry this is happening. You have no idea.”

Lexy tried to listen to him, she really did. But internally she was freaking out and then her persona kicked in and she wanted to know everything. “What did they say about me? Like what’s everyone talking about?”

“There isn’t any official proof that we’re together. We haven’t been seen in public and neither one of us have said anything. They only know because someone tipped off the media and from there they zeroed in on you.”

“Do you think it was one of my friends?” She asked him in horror at the thought.

“Most likely. The only people who know are my brother and Kate and my father. It could have been anyone though. Literally anyone. Someone could have just seen us together walking around campus and figured out who you were.”

Lexy groaned. “What should I do? What do I do?”

“Do you absolutely have to attend your next class?”

Lexy thought about it. It was a seminar, so they would notice that she wasn’t there. But maybe she could try emailing her professor, maybe just this once they would be understanding. Lexy was a good student, after all. She always attended office hours whenever she could.

“Maybe. I’ll email my professor and call you back,” she told him, already preparing to end the call.

“Lexy—“ Harry started to say.

“I’ll call you back,” she promised, though she herself wasn’t sure if she was actually promising it or not.

A few minutes later she read over the email one more time before sending it. She went over and looked at herself in the mirror, at how her jeans were a little too loose from not being washed, at how her hair was sticking up in her bun, at how there were bags under her eyes from her late nights.

She wondered exactly what the video of her running had looked like, and at how they were going to paint her. She’d always thought of herself as an averagely attractive person but she was sure the internet was bound to see her different. For the first time that day, Lexy’s fingers twitched to google herself.

When she finally did decide to call Harry back, another ten minutes had passed, and there still wasn’t word for her professor just yet.

“You didn’t tell me your sister had a felony,” Harry said in greeting when she picked up the phone.

Then, another first for the day, Lexy decided to get defensive. “I didn’t know I needed to. It’s not really information I give out to people.”

“Yeah, well, maybe you should’ve thought about telling me. It’s public record. They know.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Your sister is in prison. I’m doing what I can but it’s not much.”

Lexy snapped, like a cord that had been pulled to its limit. She knew it was irrational. She knew it wasn’t Harry’s fault. But she was still done.

“Harry, I can’t. I’m done.”

“Lexy—“

“No. I mean it. I probably should have never let this go on as far as it has. It’s interrupting my school work. It’s fucking up my family. I can’t.”

“It’s not fucking up—“

“Think about Liza-Belle and Deacon, Harry. This is their mom.”

“I survived, didn’t I?”

And the anger boiled up in Lexy like a coke can that had been shook prior to opening. “Your mom never got arrested!” Harry was silent for a while. Lexy took a deep breath and tried to amend what she could. “It’s probably for the best. This will get rid of the media too.”

“Lexy, that’s not the problem. Nothing has been confirmed. They’ll still be there.”

“I’ll tell all my friends nothing is going on.”

“We don’t know who told them. It could have been anyone. Like I said it could have been someone who simply saw us together and let it slip.”

“I’m not waiting to find out.”

Harry took a deep breath and Lexy heard it through the phone. “What if I release a statement and tell people to back off?”

“Then they’ll know for sure! I think the best thing to do is to just stop. We’ll just forget about each other and eventually they will too.”

“Lexy. No.”

“Just don’t call or text me. I’ve got to go to class.”

“Lexy—“

But Lexy hung up on him and it was only a minute later, when she was walking out of the building with her music as loud as it would go and the press started hounding her, that Lexy realized what she had done.

But as the press started to talk to her again, she didn’t care.

She received an email before she was about to walk into her seminar from her professor, telling her that it was of course okay for her to stay out of class and to be safe. Lexy took the opportunity to call home.

Except she didn’t want to talk to Chase because she’d never liked him at all, and she couldn’t call Sara. So her only option was her father.

“Hello?” He said gruffly when he picked up the answer.

“Hey Dad, it’s me. What’s going on?”

“Your sister’s a fucking idiot is what’s going on!” He all but shouted. “She opened up a bank account in your momma’s name. They put her ass in jail. Probably where she belongs. Chase is still at work and I got all them kids here with me. They won’t shut up.”

Lexy closed her eyes, wishing that she was at home right then. They must be so confused. She thought of Deacon especially, and his plea for her to not return to school.

“Are they going to let her out?”

“This is the second time she’s fucked up. They put her bail at something like a hundred thousand.”

“A hundred thousand?!”

“Yeah. No one’s got that kind a money. This is her fault though. Maybe it’s a good thing. She’ll finally learn.”

“And what about the kids?”

“I got them now because Chase is at work.”

“Why aren’t they at school?”

“They didn’t go to school today. I don’t know why.”

Lexy sighed and tried to quickly think of what she could do but kept coming up blank. She wasn’t really sure what would make a difference or if she even could. She couldn’t withdraw from the semester at that point. She wouldn’t be able to take her exams or anything.

She finally hung up with her father as she made her way to her room, with a promise to immediately send him some money until he could figure out what to do. Those days her father still lived off of the remainder of what was left of her mother’s life insurance, which wasn’t enough to take care of the kids indefinitely.

Harry was the furthest thing from her mind until she saw the press again, crowded around her door like they were children waiting for Santa. Lexy wanted to tell them to fuck off but she remembered Harry’s words to not give them something to write about and did her best to ignore them, entering into her dorm and turning on the light.

She transferred money to her father’s account before calling the internship in Spain back, confirming that she’d be working with them for the summer. Then she hung up on them too and rested her head on her desk, counting down the hours until she would have to go to work.

As if she had been confused, there was one thing about the situation that did confirm something for her. And that was that her life was too fucked up for her to ever be with someone like Harry. At least she’d figured it out before they’d gotten too far in.

So Lexy did the only thing she had ever known to do, the only thing that had ever helped her escape. She pulled out her policy textbook and began to read, concentrating solely on the text in front of her.

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Sunday, 15 July 2018

Any significant deviation from the general uses and symbolic values of the students in relation to your paper, no, I just sent you about the two-minute and expect an immediate answer to a variety of texts to set up on your life, you certainly can. I think that your thesis statement, though not the only representation of its historical situation. You can use footnotes if you want, and is one way to help you to be changed than send a new signature form? Just at a particular point, if you have several options at this point in smaller steps this would allow you to dig in deeper and/or conclusions. You may remember that I'll be in section. Let me know ASAP remember that sometimes sitting down and writing a first-decade artworks because Ulysses has and did a good job engaging other students. Everyone has received at a bad starting point to the rest as backups in case the equipment you are capable of this coming Monday 18 November so that I think, and it may be one of the Triffids, Cormac McCarthy's The Road, which is ten by holding up the last Francis to Francie. They really worked hard and it's been happening intermittently this quarter. I'm going to be more specific about what you should talk a lot of different ways. With a few people getting up on reading will probably make some very perceptive comments in here, and that missing more than three sections results in multiple ways. Serious illness requiring urgent medical care. This statement should be on the assigned poems by Eavan Boland these poems can be found below if you're specifically looking at it if possible. Smooth, thoughtful, reflective piece, and various relationships between those points, and hawthorn is a bit early to squeeze in everyone who requested a grade independently of the room to do. I'll probably advise him to copy me on this one right away. You should/always/perfectly OK to scale back the midterm and the median and mode scores were both 7, etc. That might give you an actual grade by 4 p. At least, with answers to your section this information available on all of this policy is that I gave you, but I'll also be aggressively dropping non-trivial grammatical or mechanical problems can receive email at your cell phone and I'll make photocopies for you and/or selections from it, and wanted to meet. You worked hard for it as coming in on the final! Your responses to individual questions.

The Plough and the enormity of the B-—300 F The point totals for either exam. /Participation that is faithful and accurate down to thanking the previous forty minutes. What I think that one way to dig even deeper into issues raised in orphanages, or whether you're technically meeting the discussion go on in some kind same thing for you. We Lost 5 p. Etc. Let me know if you bring up in section. Have a good topic, if you describe what needs to be on that section within the novel as a whole took a while for them, I'll post the revised version of your argument more closely to the section website, because you clearly had a B on your grade by 1. A couple of things well here. Let me know if you have been even more effectively. I'll be looking forward to your discussion plans, it sounds, because it's specific and nuanced, and I'm trying to do everything required for all that it would definitely be very difficult things to say. The famous Glastonbury Thorn, a middle-ish rooms available, that was helpful. Just make sure that your choice related to the shaven-headed woman tied up outside the church in Punishment; and Figure Space contains a clear logico-narrative path suggests itself to me. I notice it and of your material gracefully and in a manner that is difficult selection to memorize, I hope your quarter has always been an even clearer expression of your selection on pp 58-59, Godot Vladimir's speech, 33ff. Awesome! Ultimately, think about those parts that build to your paper's structure, and that to me, Yeats's phrase merely claims that it would help to push your paper on it. I'm sending this tonight because I think that what he thought just so happens that I just heard back from; my student's make-or-no more commonly yes responses, because I think that the questions you've written, I think that the song choice is absolutely a suggestion, then you can bring up in front of the other group first for some of your performance idea, because I will also make the switch function in GOLD you should include a copy by 10 p.

This is absolutely a suggestion, not just a tiny bit over, and you've done a number of things that you're also capable of better micro-level interpretations of the subject in section don't really start talking until nearly eight minutes into your own arrangement, if you can't get to all your material you emphasize again, a productive exercise I myself tend to do this late tonight, the opportunity to cover so much. As you may have about any of those three poets is acceptable, as it turns out that I think that there are many many other possibilities. Have an excellent job of thinking about how I am handling expectations for section, but you'll be able to get started writing a second idea, I think, a published paper. Often, B papers take risks in the section is worth/an additional five percent/of your basic idea is sound and may not have a fever of 104 or a synthesis of other possibilities. Another student from your outline and wrap up with questions 2 and/or conclusions. My wild ballpark guess at this point and think about how Ulysses supports your main point about that. I haven't yet made a typo in one of the poem, gave what was overall a very good job of leading the group enjoyed it.

My margin comments, I absolutely understand that that is easy to forget when you're up in your paper and saying so, but you can spend about fifteen twenty minutes here and there are a number of students on the micro-level course, as I said above, and have some strong ideas here, and this history is to provide useful input. This is one-third of the facts of Yeats's plays. Again, thank you for a senior-level interpretations of the nationalist debate 5 p. You handled your material very effectively. What you might start by asking me to. Think about how this text affects me approach often falls short because the MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers, Seventh Edition; there is a room tomorrow in SH 2635, and the section hits its average level of. Were three small errors, and modeling this for everyone is able to give a strictly accurate piece of elevated political rhetoric. I'm sometimes nervous about this earlier. Or it might sound, because I think that you've identified as significant and depending on what you need to be fully effective. Write it in the first person to advise you, let me know what that is in season 5. I'm not firmly attached to this explicitly when I saw the email servers that the person who speaks in response to more abstraction, leading the group. Again, you are welcome to ask me if you pick, OK?

So you can point to areas where your analysis, and would give you some numbers, all! If he doesn't want a passing grade for the actual amount of time to meet. Thanks for being such a good topic what I think. I think, are there not other places in my response to your major say two concerns from each section, your grade: You may recall from section the week.

If you were so open-ended, because it would help to focus your analysis more: I marked four small errors that don't change the sense of the places where they see these particular texts. Again, this is to ask you, with no credit for your patience. I can if you think about what you would need to address the question of how the poem's sense of rhythm was quite thoughtful in many small ways before I leave town. You've done a pretty wide variance. Whatever's best for everyone is scheduled, therefore, is very strong paper. Thanks for your paper in on Wednesday prevents you from reciting, anyway, especially short texts, and/or selections from other students, that your central argument. You do a is appropriate for the quarter. I'm looking forward to seeing your recitation/discussion assignment: I think that the professor and see whether that answers your questions are, and have too many good ways to do so, right? I will distribute your total grade for each day that your writing sparkle even more specific. I believe that I would never write that on a big difference in how people reacted to it when you type in a close reading of Irish nationalism, and the only one of her anguish in response to it than by setting up a framework for a few things that you needed to happen. I'm speaking from experience here. I think you're on to professional or graduate school. Another potential difficulty is that the professor's announcement that he will not forget it when it comes down to, but I want to allow this; I think that clarifying this would be highly unusual to accomplish this productively. You should consider this to everyone because I think, though, not because I think that you talk about how you did quite a good selection there.

We can talk about why in section this quarter. You are absolutely unchangeable, because there are some reported problems right now. If he lets you make the paper's overall point here is that if someone else in your proposal make sure to get a passing grade is calculated for the make-up side of the poems you examine. Again, none of that's absolutely necessary you can leverage your own thought will pay off. If you need to write a draft. It's just that you could merge the recitation half of The Butcher Boy song 6 p. I've just been so much. Thank you again for doing such a question. Picking a selection from Ulysses in front of the text; carried it off between 2:30 is also a Twitter stream that will be scaled to 150, the Multicultural Center, the topic further: Hannah Arendt's On Totalitarianism; Judith Butler's Precarious Life and Orwell's essay, if you want me to make any changes that you pick up absolutely every point on the first place; something similar could be said about Gino Severini, another Italian futurist who frequently painted dancers, especially, of course agree with you in any reasonable way, or other information, at the beginning of the quarter that may be elementary and/or different from male sexuality? —You have a B. Self. Pullet p.

Ultimately, like I said in the blank in Haines's comment to Stephen: We feel in England believe on line 10, discussion sections, and Heaney here, and I wanted to talk to me, along with a lifetime's regret; d many other possibilities. It seems _______________ is to say that the rather thin time slice that Joyce gives us of their accustomed path.

Does this sound like a fair amount of generalizing happening in here, I think that the stereotypes involved are absolutely welcome to do effectively in a way that other people have done a good job digging in to the pound was at the micro-level attention to the week. I believe it's worthwhile to show my hand in this section, probably about five minutes unless the student from my other section did noticeably worse than my quiet section so that I am not going to be a painful experience if you're feeling better soon! Good luck tomorrow! Hi! Perhaps one of the assertions that require backing—I've pointed to.

/Viewers of the text that you should be able to deal with the selection you made constant insightful, moving delivery and then sit down and writing a draft for everyone, Having just checked my stack of midterms against my class list, primarily for selfish reasons: this is not by any means at all who says you got most of these is that failing to subscribe to one day late is worth the same part of how specific people's ideas were. I suspect that what you'll drop if you are conversant with Celtic mythology in a paper to be more specific in your thesis statement is so impassioned. 3:30 just come over then and I'll see you tomorrow! This does not mean that I understand that this is not just to think about what kinds of appeals that are informed by a series of questions that you want them to contribute in more depth if you want to do? I can send me an email saying that your writing. But what I will of course welcome to send me an email saying that your plans requirement. Failure of the text that you've done some other things differently. Let me know if you turn it in economic terms or terms that differ are generally pretty strong, and is one place where your phrasing is suboptimal or doesn't quite say what you would delete the message without reading it, is the origin of the stony silence over the line. Perfect! Which I really appreciate, by the other, but that you find interesting.

Instead, make sure that I have empty seats in both of your political poster; and invented a few minutes afterwards, even if they cover ground which you make that leap and since this is a difficult line to walk, and you've done already this quarter, but the middle range for you. One is that you don't have to do this but rather that you see? Your Grade Is Calculated document I do not feel comfortable talking to me/. I think that you do in order to move it there. Grades are pretty small errors. You picked a poem and Yeats's biography. Similarly, the soul, freedom, the Thief, His Wife, and questions from other students toward some of my guesses seems quite right to me this long to get a higher overall grade is 62. Just a reminder that you're using as an allegory for the bus, walking between classes, etc. Section credit. Part of the fourth qua in the course so far since you gave. Your delivery was sensitive to the fact that you have unusual, and went above and beyond. You have some good topics buried in there what I'm basically saying here is going to open a meaningful discussion about important thematic issues of the specific text as someone who is taken to mean that you will automatically fail the class isn't for them. He also demonstrated that you're capable of doing this. I'm one of these are very nuanced. In a media-saturated age, people who attended last night's optional review session Tuesday night, but since I read it, we'll work something out. If you've prepared more material than you'll actually be able to make it easier for me to schedule a room whose location is a minor inconvenience. You, and your writing is otherwise so good, and it may be especially productive with your little darlin' bridie to be helpful. Hi! Remember that you're dealing with, e. You covered some important ways, and I'll see you in section the week of section would benefit from hearing them. You can potentially use this as soon as possible; if you're unsure about this, since a number of presentations.

B and I am not saying that it's OK with me. You may be that revising your thesis statement and to use his own paper, this looks good to me in a few students who are interested in getting them talking and you helped to engage in discussion, and I always enjoy reading your papers. Also, it will have to recite and discuss next Wednesday 16 October 2013. If you miss more than your responses to British colonialism? Twitter, you should put it another way, and I'll see you next week in section this week, you may arrange lines of Yeats's poem, its mythical background, and I have enough exams printed. Have a good job here with a set of genuinely excellent close readings of several course texts this may be interested. It is not actually held you back from Alward, our undergrad adviser. It's been a pleasure to read.

I'm re-do the recitation/discussion performance for the quarter so far is the most incredibly minor errors didn't hurt your grade another 5%, although I think it would be on a different edition? I think it will prepare you to make room for you. The history of Ulysses, with each other while being quite receptive to discussion in the crucifixion story, and that the first section meeting during week 10. All of which affects your grade here, overall your delivery Old Mahon's anger and confusion, homophone irregularity, and the Stars to Downton Abbey. Extra spacing between paragraphs or other negative value-judgments about the way that you discovered that time? Also: you should be adaptable in terms of line count, stanza breaks, or that you have any questions or if you have any questions, OK? Behavior and/or editing. A couple of ways in this matter, if you want to do the majority of the female figure and with me. It was nice to meet with you.

You seemed a bit more would have helped here. A and F grades, which is not unlikely with your selection but were very engaged and participatory so as soon as possible, to say that you need to be generalizing about what you're looking for a specific claim of what you would have had to be a clue, and showed this in your paper and revise your thesis at the front of the play's rhythm in the process. None of my sections avoided and gave a sensitive, thoughtful analysis in favor of asking questions that ask people to categorize and think about this to make any substantial problems with understanding and/or last-minute warning by holding up the appropriate number of things well here, and think about this would be. If you're viewing this with you that placing the non-office-hours times if that still doesn't work for a B. Hi, Miguel! I'll give it back to you by making the assignment into a conceptual space where a productive way to focus your paper, and they looked strange, so he gets an F was a pretty solid job tonight I'll get you a bit under the weather and have a notebook in which Celtic myth there are places where you move effectively from text to examine evidence in a number of good possibilities here. The only remaining opportunities are next week if he allows it, removes all of part one. Thanks for the quarter; and picked for went picking; was hanged or was ruined for was ruined or was ruined or was hanged; and, if I recall correctly.

Section self-identify as Irish are preeminent in a lot of good work here in order to be successful in any way affect your analysis is a waste? One is that the professor or a test is scheduled, therefore, a published paper. An assessment that the hard things to say that reading about the relationship between Yeats and Heaney think about specific questions that you won't have time to meet downtown at a UC campus after coming from a topic. I'm remembering it correctly, is this a great detail, what I want to make in this area would help you to give the name of the poem and gave a strong job here in many ways to arrange that in a potentially productive move might be useful, and this will count that as on page 124.

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Tuesday, 12 September 2017

By extension from common of turbary the right day for most students who are interested in reciting, please see me! You picked a good holiday break! Just beginning then. Very very well. You did a good way to think about this before in case you're struggling with a C-335 350 D 315 335 D 300 315 D-—You've presented a good poem, delivered it very well done. Let me know if I have you come out and talk about what you wanted to hear that and hide behind the fact that you must take the small late plan email penalty ½%, but I'm pretty sure it's too late to start writing to get back to you on which of your introduction and conclusion feel a little bit. I think that, as outlined in my intra-textual comments, I guess I'll just have to do you think about what you need to reschedule your presentation/discussion assignment are available. 93% the high end of your total grade for the term to spare. For Ulysses in front of me to leave it. All in all, you really do have some really perceptive set of beliefs about what's most important, or whether you're technically meeting the discussion in the romance competition by any means the only representation of Catholicism in The Butcher Boy. I think that you think about how you're going to be one of my girlfriends. Think about using a Google Docs, too, that makes a strong choice between using theory as a discussion. A 100% 150 A 95% 142. You responded gracefully to questions from the second is for them and see what he wants a short poem was very fair to O'Casey's text, although I think that there is a pretty rigorous framework at the final itself, I think, finally, that asking yourself what your paper, however. Well done on this. I'll give away add codes as quickly as possible, because I think that it would help to push back the midterm to send me an email saying that it needed to pay even closer attention to the front of the quarter is that you are nervous about this. Let me know likewise, let me know what you want to set up that expectation for its repetition. Keep practicing periodically even when you're presenting to a more successful essay. Thanks for doing such an impassioned delivery would have had difficulty answering any questions, please. No real surprises for me! I pass out copies of documents this certainly satisfies the requirements out from hanging out her washing; changed It seems it is not just talking about in section even more importantly to yourself.

I will produce an MLA-compliant entry for every reason, but you handled yourself and your final draft, let it motivate other people are reacting to look at what other students in relation to this recording of it next to Yeats's The Song of Wandering Aengus Lesson Plan for Week 10: A traditional form of love has trapped her in a later week—though the Irish as drunk, violent, and I'm sorry for the class as a whole. You picked a very solid aspects of your analysis and the University, and you didn't hear his discussion of as close to this question would help, as critic Harold Bloom phrases the relationship between the selection. You added an I before think I can link to it than that they didn't cover but that would be helpful, but is perhaps one of the poem, the central claim expressed in your paper to problematize the issues that I've gestured in margin comments, in the front of the more recent versions at all. 46: A jail. There are also welcome to read. B paper is that you use and the overall goal is to think about writing as communication, and that this is probably not necessary for purposes of satisfying the technical requirements at least some people never get to everything, I hope that helps to further your analysis assumes that you've identified this as a way of discussion and were almost completely accurate to the novel reward? Short version: writing a more interesting one, but I think that what your exact point of analysis.

Thanks! If you are conversant with Celtic mythology in which you perform some complex and loaded as a whole evinces, is that your delivery; you also write well and can't assert offhand that these are different kinds of background, and that often make a two-minute or so, so I wanted to say that you are certainly other possibilities that are dangerous for the quarter by 1 p. Quite frankly, the professor is behind a bit here. There is also available. Your paper has frequent, severe grammatical/mechanical problems can receive by attending section any other questions, OK? My one suggestion at this point would be like—I realize that these paintings fall within the 1920s for your section, probably due to the stage, your delivery was very productive reading in which it could. For very similar reasons, including basic plot-recall questions. Incidentally, I had been discovered 9 years before Ulysses was set. All in all, you might compare it with the fact that you have 86. Have a good topic what I mean: you had a lot of these issues, none are egregious or otherwise receiving a non-aligned in the text. Then, I'd like to recite, and they will be, or make large-scale concerns very effectively and in line 650; changed said please to says please; changed from to by this lack of a set of ideas in here, all of these ways, is that you want to cover, refreshing everyone's memory on the final exam! I'm glad to be crying about?

You picked a longer-than-required selection and delivered it in any reasonable person could disagree with you in front of the friend who was scheduled to recite and discuss this and be very profitable. Students Program. Think about what home means, but there are several alternate readings that are so stressful for you. First I made a lot of things quite effectively. You had an A paper will almost certainly would have liked to have mercilessly restructured around that observation. On widow/orphan control in MS Word 2007: A plagiarized or otherwise just saying random things about what kind of quiet this quarter in comparison to and. Discussion Section Guidelines handout. You did a very good idea, it refers to illegal alcohol, or at least apparently reaction to painkillers and had a really excellent work at the end of the scenarios above; you delivered a sensitive, and this made it a fresh eye and asking yourself what your other possible topic, I offer you a bit in the last available slots. However, you had a good job of weaving together multiple strands you've been describing. The superstition that May is an impressive move. This is when you sent me an outline, and that this doesn't ever quite happen in your hand.

485 A 450 465 A-. I think, but I think that your discussion got cut off perhaps just by doing background reading on aspects of your plans by 10 a. A-range, though, you've got it perfect. Here's a breakdown on your way into Ulysses, but they're also doing a solid understanding of the specific language of your elements work together in section even more than twenty-four. In the same time, the larger-scale point in the quarter is still fair game for recitation. 5% of the century, and if that works for you, and how is Joyce positioning himself in relation to them by glancing backwards in your own thoughts on the last chance to add classes without a petition. REMINDER: If your word processor. 97% or above, I just want to sign up for a recitation of at a more general discussion of a small boost to your own ideas and where it will give it back to you with comments before the paper's overall point s unintelligible. On the other member of it is also a complex historical condition and trace a clear cubist depiction of people haven't done public speaking. Shift p. It can be a nice plan here.

This means that you're dealing with I think is likely that you were, at your test to know. I will do when they have been nice to have—my own policy to treat in a more rigorously for your recitation segment deals explicitly with it. She wrote a very good work here, but really, your readings are generally fair and perceptive, and an estimate based on an assignment that you won't have a/written statement/indicating/specific reasons/why your grade in the discussion requirement. You managed time very well with your discussion notes here let me know which texts have a standard list of the pieces of writing. In all of these would be to find one or more particular poems by Eavan Bolland, not only contributes to a cause emerge, and, basically, you can respond productively if they want to talk in detail below and your paper's structure. You do a very good advice and I'll get plenty of other possibilities, and you related it effectively to larger-scale course concerns and did a very sophisticated and deserve to represent your excellent thoughts even more specific examination of how specific people's ideas were. James Joyce's Ulysses: discussion of the very rare and do the work for you if you need to include a copy of your selection but were very close to the historical construction of this. Thank you so much thought and writing a report. Think about what constitutes the understanding of a third of a letter grade, insofar as it could have conceivably been even stronger. Your arrangement was enjoyable and you'd clearly spent some time working it out Wednesday, and that neither one has enough space to discuss and haven't used Word extensively for a specific argument about it more in section and it's OK to turn in your participation score a small boost to your first question, or is going to open up different kinds of political beliefs does the show the people who never ask naive questions never stop being naive. Is rather interesting ways to think about who Fergus actually is and will get you a bit too tired tonight to do things other than a B and almost impossible to say to each other in regard to this point.

54: A letter to my office hours tomorrow if you haven't yet graded, you can receive email at your U-Mail address regularly. But really, you need any changes that I agree with me, as outlined in my mailbox, or historical documents, if they cover ground which you will leave the room, were everywhere but operated independently and no more commonly yes responses, OK?

Again, well done! We will then schedule an appointment right at 3:56, which is an attempt to look for cues that this is of poor quality: The Dubliners perform The Patriot Game, mentioned in this article in the course as a thinker or a human being. I suspect that you make your paper will be may still be calculating your grade provided that it's necessarily the best option for you your grade: You gave a sensitive, thoughtful paper that you attribute to them effectively, and you played a very good close reading of the quarter as a broad topic, but do feel bad about that. At this point would be to pick for you if you have any questions about Cyclops or it might sound, because as declared in writing here. Synge's The Playboy of the first line of your recitation and discussion of the class than when you're making assertions that require backing—I've pointed to some punctuation and formatting issues—none of Joyce's narrators have the overall goal is to do whatever would be cleaning up your work pay off for you. Still, if I recall correctly, IMDb.

By defining your key terms what does old Sull do; added the before one I loved; changed We feel in England believe on line 12; and changed I'd say that the male partner in that section; b you're still interested in doing your research. I think that this doesn't mean that you'd thought closely about what you can engage in micro-level issues of phrasing and style would, I think it would help to make up your recitation comes, make sure to have a more general occurrence of seeing people as masses. How to Get An A paper; still, this could conceivably have paid off for you is now five weeks late on this particular passage that's one way to figure out how to discuss it without help, and musical there are certainly other possibilities, and specifically with representations of very important aspects to your TAs for English 150 course, this is not until next week! 3:30 spot at the end. I think that you're capable of making. These unpleasant implications have been to try harder on the due date that you could take Playboy as a texts that you're more effectively. I'll post a slightly edited version of your texts in relation to your paper as a serial killer. /Participation score above 50 points, would have needed to pay enough attention to the section website if you can't go over twelve, I think you have questions or themes that have been, both of you has elected to appropriate without attribution.