#gunfr0st

[alstroemerian-dragon]

Hi I saw your tags on that hajihiko art and that bit about your fic sounds really interesting if you don’t mind I kinda wanna hear more if not then I’ll happily wait for the fic!

youve activated my trap card aka asking me to explain my thoughts !!!! this might get long

my fic is basically a long form. uh. character study? relationship study? thats pretty much just hajime and fuyuhiko having Very Intimate And Personal Conversations (Five Times!) over the first. year? post wake up. and in one of them they have a lengthy discussion about the whole concept of any of them having kids

because hiko is like. hiko is the kind of person who is Very Practical And Realistic (though some may say Pessimistic). and he is of the opinion that things can only be calm and good for so long before shit hits the fan again right? so, in that case, having children with them is only going to make things worse. first, putting kids into an actively dangerous situation is pretty high up in his List Of Terrible Fucking Things Someone Can Do (which is fair, because it is, but also because. Yknow. Personal Experience). second, children being with them is, from a purely practical standpoint, going to be a Huge amount of baggage if they ever need to Leave Right Now Very Quickly. kids are also an ENORMOUS weakness if the enemy ever discovers their existence. so in his mind, theyre a huge disadvantage and just generally a Terrible Fucking Idea.

weirdly enough, though, in the conversation, this is not his argument. because in the circumstances, theyre both kind of in a very vulnerable and open place for this conversation, and so he comes at it from an emotional standpoint. and fuyuhikos emotions around them having kids are complicated.

theres the guilt, right? theyre all classified as war criminals, basically, and are guilty of some of the most heinous acts known to man. they may be being left alone, and they may be repentant and in recovery NOW, but the effects of their actions are gonna be felt for a long time, probably decades. do they even deserve the joy of childcare? of having their own children and raising them and seeing them grow? additionally, they have no idea how long theyre gonna be stuck on those islands. maybe even forever. keeping their kids trapped there when they did nothing wrong aside from. well. Being The Kids Of The Remnants. is almost cruel, right? but if they dont want that, they basically have to give their kids up at some point, maybe even to the future foundation to be integrated into the new world. but when do you do that? when theyre babies, so they never know who their real parents are and never have to reckon with the impact they had on the world? or when theyre young adults, with the full knowledge of what their parents did and who they are, and that the world, which will definitely be utterly fucked for a long time even after the tragedy is officially classified as ‘over’ (whatever that means), will despise them just by virtue of who gave birth to them?

either way, theyre gonna lose their kids at some point. and thats going to hurt. not just the kids themselves, being thrust into a world like that, but the remnants too. those are their children.

fuyuhiko also just… has a lot of guilt and fear around having kids because of his upbringing. you cant tell me he isnt so afraid of turning into his parents, of endangering his own kids, of being too angry and too volatile and too broken to care for them properly. so in his mind, the only real fix to the situation is to just never have them in the first place.

but hajime… hajimes situation is a lot different. first off, in my funny little brain space hajime is very very much a trans man, and though his relationship with identity and gender specifically is very messy due to The Horrors, he clings to his identity as a man in the same way he clings to the name hajime hinata, as an anchor to stability and purpose. if he is hajime hinata, then he is also a man, because hajime hinata was one. this is of course a huge simplification and i could make a whole other post about hajimes fucked up gender shit but its NOT THIS ONE so were moving on. anyway, his relationship with having his own kids therefore is very complicated, as many trans men will tell you, and this is… complicated by another thing i wont go into because its very sad and not really the point and also kind of a spoiler. anyway.

but aside from just himself, hajime is also extremely practical. the difference between his practicality and fuyuhikos is that while fuyuhiko’s practicality is rooted in a childhood of danger and violence and ruthlessness, hajimes is rooted in analytics, because thats just the way his brain works now. numbers and percentages and chance. on top of that, though, what balances out that practicality is that in hajimes brain, one of the most important things about Being Human is Having Human Connections. its how he fights the boredom, fights off the constantly encroaching emptiness in the back of his head. people are complicated and messy and a lot more unpredictable than his izuru conditioning would have had him believe, and he revels in that, in understanding that people have habits and recognizable traits while also doing the weirdest shit possible when you least expect it. having human connections helps him feel human, helps him feel his emotions the most strongly, and he clings to that.

so he understands, on a very base level, why some of them would want children. he understands that a lot of them probably will when they wake up. he understands that they will all adore those kids when theyre born, that the fifteen of them will be a village, will do everything in their power to make sure those kids are happy and safe and understand the dangers of the world while not being subjected to the worst of it until theyre ready.

but hajime also understands philosophy and psychology on a very high level. because you know. the horrors. so he also can reckon with the fact that its not an easy question to answer. should they have kids? would it be ethical to have kids? they dont have an answer thats going to satisfy everyone. some of them are going to stubbornly insist none of them should. some of them are going to be desperate for them. some of them arent going to care. hes skilled in medical knowledge (again, the horrors), and if there are accidents they can be dealt with, but some people arent going to want that. he and/or mikan could probably handle childbirth, as long as theyre not actively in danger, but again, theres the question of whether they even should.

thats. the basis of their conversation. they dont end up with an answer, and i dont think i honestly have one either. could they potentially have children at some point in their lives? probably, yeah. but the logistics of that, of when they would, when the kids would leave, how they would be raised, is a lot more complicated than just ‘cute domestic childcare.’

BUT THATS. yeah. its really funny that this ended up so long because that conversation is maybe a whole 18% of the total length of that chapter and thats. being lax on what constitutes as ‘part of that conversation’ fjshfjsjfjjsjs. the thing about me is that i can not shut the fuck up to save my life, so they discuss like. SIX different topics in that conversation. it makes me very afraid that people wont be able to follow it or will get tired of all the dialogue but. Thats Just Something I Will Have To Deal With.

someday ill post this fucking fanfiction. im trying to get at least. four? of the chapters done before i start posting because i have a long history of starting to post chapters/segments of a fic only for my fixation to crumble and then i never finish it. im hoping building up engagement w this blog will help so people will talk to me and keep my writing lmao. im glad youre interested though!!!!!! ive put a lot of love into all the writing ive done for dr so far

[vivianvivvia]

@twilightpentagram MWAHS THANK YOU FOR THE TAG TWYLAAA I’m so dead here but my love for Noovy will always prevail. Sunday is a new one though. He’s so 😖🩷

mutuals + a character you ship them w/

⋆ @basil-pot x aventurine

⋆ @florapot x raven (or harry)

⋆ @hana-ame x baizhu

⋆ @gunfr0st x cater diamond

⋆ @fgooooooo x limbo

[cryptidowl]

How bout satan in a kitty pile

His dream afternoon tbh

[lollitree]

Holy shit you just violently ripped the memory of this show out of my skull XD

>:3c

[iifevils]

Why haven’t I found your blog sooner? I’m in love with your art

cries....thnak you :sob: :weep: :dying:

[bkdkink]

Bruh why did it take me this long to realize your name is bkdk-ink?! I've been reading it as bkdk-kink this whole time!!

you aren’t wrong 

 is both 

think of it like a superman/clark kent situation except one of those egos is used only after dark 

[tiptapricot]

Hey I've been reading your stuff and I'm really enjoying it! I see that you mentioned that you have an ao3 account but I'm having trouble finding what it's called here, would you mind saying what it is?

Oh yeah I haven’t linked that here yet huh? It’s Tiptapricot as well. I don’t have a lot posted and I hop fandoms frequently, but feel free to check me out! I’m big into DC right now so expect more from that.

Here’s my ao3 account!

Also, thanks so much I’m glad you like my stuff :0

[leviathans-watching]

I thought 3 was nice

ty!! i’ll mark it down!!

[colacatinthehat]

Hello! Thank you so much for reading and I don’t mind at all. I’m expecting to get the next ZD out between the 29th or April and the 7th of March but it might take me a little longer than that if something comes up! <3 

HELLO YES WE CAN HOW GOOD IS THE GAME DESIGN IN THAT SECTION LIKE THE LOCK-UP ALONE AND ALL THE WAYS YOU CAN BREAK IN AND OUT IS WONDERFUL AS JUST ONE SECTION NOT TO MENTION HOW COOL AND ATMOSPHERIC IT IS. HANDS DOWN ITS GOT A REALLY SATISFYING DIFFICULTY LEVEL EVEN IN HARD MODE AND OOOOOOOH MY GOSH THE SECTION OF SOUNDTRACK THEY DID FOR HYRULE CASTLE IS ACTUALLY STUNNING THANK YOU FOR MESSAGING

I’m guessing this is about he Miraculous Ladybug animation? In which case; yes and thank you!???! <3

sOB Thank you so much for reading and for taking the time to send me a nice message about it?? Posting content can sometimes feel like yelling into a void so people letting me know they read it really makes my day thank you so much!! I’ll try to get the next part out for you as soon as I can!!

[alstroemerian-dragon]

Bruh tumblr didn't even tell me you responded, I 1000% agree with you on fuyus view of kids cus like he’s from a world where kids were (literally) property of corse he’s gonna have complicated relationship with kids also the idea of whether they even deserve them is so sad cus the topic is hella grey. Also everything with Hajime oh boy that’s a bag of worms on its own he’d hella spiral if he had one

Don’t feel bad that the convo doesn’t have a lot of what you wrote! If anything it’s gonna sound more realistic cus unless with a therapist everything everyone says in a serious convo is dipped in like 3-5 layers of context that will never be brought up unless asked especially depending on how emotionally open they are

Also don’t apologize for having things to do, real life comes first :)

oh dw tumblr is sooooo functional (sarcasm)

the thing about fuyuhiko is i think hed be really really good with kids. despite everything, he loved natsumi so much, and you can tell that in a better world he would have been such a good big brother. i try to convey that in anything i write pertaining to his relationship with natsumi (which. the way theyre Actually related is something ive taken significant time thinking about lmao its Not simple), that he loved her and tried to do what he thought was best for her and protect her from the worst of their parents’ bullshit. i dont doubt that some of the times his parents hurt him during fights he was protecting her.

the problem is that he doesnt believe hed be good with kids because. fuyuhiko to me is the kind of person who because of circumstance and trauma believes that he is fundamentally a Bad and Broken Person but that hes Okay With That, that at least he can use the time he has left to protect the people who he sees as Good (ie most of the rest of his class, people who he sees as innocent, etc). this is something i think he believed even as a kid, and therefore something junko used wholeheartedly to manipulate him. its complicated.

but like… hes not. hes not a bad person, hes not broken, hes traumatized and has really bad anger issues, yes but. hes genuinely a really good person. he has a really strong moral compass, and overall believes in minimizing harm as much as possible, at least when it comes to people who dont deserve it. given enough time (and therapy) i think he would make a really really good parent.

and hajime… oof. personally i think hajime could ALSO be a really good parent (because its me) but again. lots of time. lots of therapy. his relationship with his parents is a whole other post in itself, but at the end of the day, hes definitely got multiple talents related to being nurturing in him. maybe not ‘ultimate father’ ‘ultimate mother’ or whatever because they would have been talents from teenagers, but something. and again, hajime is really really intent on human connection and letting himself and others feel emotions in a healthy way. thats a really good quality in a parent!!!

a lot of moral and ethical stuff regarding the remnants is SUPER gray just by virtue of who they are and it makes me go bonkers crazy wild makes me scream wail etc. love me a moral quandary. love me a fuckin. trolley problem-ass situation

[deaf-bakugou]

Bakugou and Tinnitus

@gunfr0st so this is kind of how I vaguely imagine it would go down.

The very first time Katsuki hears the ringing in his ears, he is a small child. He has just manifested his quirk, the very first explosion which simulaneously terrifies and thrills him. He is young, the explosion is loud, there is an odd ringing sound. He assumes that it is just part of his quirk. They just go hand in hand. This hypothesis of his, (I'm not making assumptions mom! They are educated guess's!) Is proven the more he uses his quirk. Every single time the odd ringing noise is there. He doesn't realize it at first but over the years it slowly gets louder, and lasts longer. The first time he hears it not accompanied by his quirk he is ten years old and sitting at his desk doing homework. His head snaps up and he glances around looking for the source. He knows it can't be his quirk, he hasn't used it. Searching for the source doesn't help. It fades after a bit though and he doesn't concern himself with it again. Not long after, he is in class, he is listening to Deku babble on and on about their most recent lesson. He falls silent for a moment, and the ringing starts. Katsuki hadn't really been paying attention to the other focused on his work, he jerks his head up looking around for the source. It is really loud. Deku is talking again but the words do not make sense. The ringing seems to get louder. In anger he shoves Deku down screaming at the other child to speak louder or shut up. Later at home he will know that was the wrong thing to do. The ringing will continue periodically over the next year. He learns to live with it. He isn't happy about it, but it is just there. He asks his friends sometimes if they can hear it but when they look at him like he is crazy, he never brings it up again. He has to be perfect. He has to. He doesn't mention it again. He trains with his quirk constantly. He knows what his goals are in life. He knows what he wants and how to get it. So he works hard. But it's difficult. The ringing is often now, and he is fighting with his mother more. He learns to cope. Right before he turns 11 he breaks down, it is loud, it is near constant he doesn't understand! His mother is yelling at him about something but he can't understand it. He screams, screams at her to make the ringing stop. She stops. She doesn't know what he is talking about. He is not done being angry. This lands him at the doctors office again. They ask so many questions. He doesn't want to be here. It's dumb. But he wants the ringing to stop.

They call it Tinnitus. They say they need to run more tests. He doesn't want them. Nothing is wrong with him. Eventually though they have an answer. Not one that Katsuki likes. One that he will avoid and pretend isn't happening to him. They do some therapies that are supposed to make it easier to deal with. They tell him they can't make it go away. He is furious. But he learns to live with it. It still bothers him, in class, at home, it can happen at anytime. He does his best but now that he knows why it happens, it doesn't make him as angry. He isn't crazy. He starts using Ear protection when practicing but knows this isn't a great solution. At least in his mind it isn't. By the time that he is in Highschool, he is wearing hearing aids. Now when his Tinnitus starts acting up he can pull his phone out and load up the smart relief Tinnitus app, it bluetooths to his hearing aids and it helps. Sometimes there are bad days but he handles it better now. He has to. He will never allow this to limit him or prevent him from being the very best.

Meeting Present Mic helps in a way that he doesn't know that it could. To meet a Hero who wears his hearing aids, who doesn't hide his hearing loss even if he doesn't shout it from the rooftops. Present Mic will never be his favorite person in general. But there will always be that odd bond. As he makes friends, proper friends, he can trust them, normally just Kirishima though. Sometimes if the ringing is bad and he can't make it stop, its grating on his nerves terrible, he can tell Kirishima, kirishima will just grin and start chatting to the other. Talking to distract him. To keep his mind off of it and hopefully lessen the effects of it. Katsuki knows it will never go away. But he also knows that he will live. He can manage. One step at a time.

[himbo-beel]

gunfr0st replied to your post “i am ace. i am so very ace. it’s unquestionable. but beel’s chest just...”

Yo I'm ace too, but that chest got me feel things

it just looks so comfy!!!!!!

[m-ziliak]

A FNaF doodle suggested by @gunfr0st . WHY DO YOU GUYS ONLY REBLOG THE JUNK I SPENT TEN MINUTES ON. THIS ISN'T EVEN GOOD.

[mo49ko]

I love your art and you seem like such a fun person, congratulations!

WAHH thank you!! 🥺🥺💖 u are so nice... i am only fun if the fun u are looking for is Adeuce Bot 24/7--

[deaf-bakugou]

Hey I know what you think of hoh/deaf bakugo, but I was wondering what do you think of bakugou with tinnitus?

Thank you so much for this ask! This is actually a really good time to discuss Tinnitus! Bakugou has Tinnitus. That is the facts. Because *pause for effect* tinnitus is hearing loss! Louder for my Deafies in the back. TINNITUS GOES HAND IN HAND WITH HEARING LOSS. not shouting by the way. Emphasizing. But wait! You might ask, I have tinnitus, how can this be? I have the answer for you!

You have hearing damage. Even the most minor hearing damage causes tinnitus. Now as I type my ears ring with a ferocity

Now now, this is no time to freak out about your hearing if you do have tinnitus. It is very common and often the damage is so minimal that hearing aids won't do you much good in comparison to the trouble they will cause. To understand more about this, let's learn about the ear! @gunfr0st I am sure you know most of this since you asked it but please bear with me. Other readers probably don't and it is important to know!

Tinnitus affects between 15-20 percent of the population! It is not a diagnosable disease more like a problem caused by something else going on! Most commonly the problem is as follows!

This is your ear! Interesting right? On the right is an area labeled the Cochlea! That is what we will focus on today.

So there are several causes for hearing damage but Tinitus normally starts inside of the cochlea. The cochlea is full of lots of Tiny Tiny Tiny hairs called stereocilia hairs!

Image A is a normal and non damaged inside of a cochlea image B is someone who has hearing loss which originates inside of the cochlea!

So to simplify this, these hairs are one of the things that allow us to hear. They move with different sound waves to pass them along. Or something like that. The problem happens when the hairs get stuck in the down position. You see the hairs still think that sound is happening when it is not. This causes the ringing sound.

But wait! I experience this every now and then! Do I have hearing damage? Probably not. You are only experiencing Tinnitus not living with Tinnitus. The ringing often follows loud noises, rock concerts, planes, drills, other very high decibl things. If you only experience it once or twice a year it is likely your ears are just confused because the loud noise ended before your hair had a chance to righten them selves. Like a sound shockwave. If you have it once a week or more, often enough it bothers you, please go get it checked out. It could be minor? But in very rare cases it can be serious.

How do I handle Tinnitus? Well normally Tinnitus is mostly noticable when you are in a silent room. So turn on some soft music or a fan. Something to jostle the hairs and hopefully straighten them back out. If it is serious and constant? Go see an Audiologist. There are other therapies to try and help.

What caused my Tinnitus! Okay, I am going to be brutally honest here. Most Tinnitus in people under the age of 30 has an origin in listening to your music too loud through headphones. Though anything that is above a certain decibl level can cause the damage.

It is important to know that just because you have Tinnitus doesn't mean that you need hearing aids even if it is caused my minor hearing loss. However, almost everyone with hearing aids suffers from Tinnitus as well. Now there are more factors like type of Deafness and tons of other things that come into play, but this is the general rule.

If you are suffering from Tinnitus severely, please get help. Unfortunatly, people have been known to commit suicide because they could not stand the constant loud ringing. So please take care of yourselves.

So I ended up talking more about what Tinnitus was than Bakugou with Tinnitus, but I promise I will post about that as well! But this is getting long so I will post it separately and tag you in it @gunfr0st