#had a dream about Daniel last night and now Im in my feels for him again🙄

[theweasleytwinsownmyjuicyass]

Love of my life | D.R.

Daniel Ricciardo x younger!reader

Summary: What happens when you confess your profound love to the person whose heart you broke? How fragile is the hope of reconciliation?

Warnings: comforting angst??? (idk even im in my feels)

Word count: ~1.2K

^^

“Hiding from me?” the velvety voice behind you felt more familiar than you’d like it to.

“Should I?” you turned your eyes away from the dark ocean before you and met his eyes. Gosh he looked handsome and you could feel your body react to him, still the same as it was, gentle shock waves weaving through your fingertips.

“God I hope not…” he sat down beside you on the straw beach furniture. You were trying to keep your gaze on the horizon of the ocean where water seemed to bleed into the dark night sky and become one.

You could hear him take a deep breath, it was shaky and an uncomfortable feeling settled in your gut as if foreseeing that his following words would remind you of something you had been trying to keep buried for the last 5 months.

“I didn’t think I’d see you here tonight…” he spoke out softly, his eyes on your silhouette, encaged by the silver glory of the full moon you looked untouchable. And he knew that you were untouchable to him, no matter how much his palms seemed to have thoughts of their own and wished to just reach out to you, and relish in the touch of your silky skin just like he’d done months ago.

“Why not? You know I didn’t attend all those parties just because of you,” you held your stare stoic, letting yourself get lost in the starry night sky, counting the stars only so you’d hold yourself back from latching on the man sitting beside you.

Nothing could have you forget the day you’d met him. Ironically it was a party that you had only attended because you were dying to catch a glimpse of the charming man that he was. Luckily, at least that’s what you thought at that very moment, you had caught his eye and soon enough you were carrying his heart in your hands and he was carrying yours. Although now after everything, you believe you might have been wrong about the later…

“Y/n… I just want to say-”

“Please don’t say it, don’t apologize again,” you turned to him almost instantly which left him speechless, your eyes sparkling in the moonlight reminiscent of the various jewels he used to clasp around your neck and the supple kisses he’d leave there throughout the day, but the jewels that adorned your eyes now weren’t a consequence of a blissful time together, “I will not hear it again… I do not need to be reminded of that… time”, you lowered your head trying to catch your breath and the lonely tears from falling.

“Baby,” he kept his hands secured in tight fists, too easy to lose control now that he could see tears escaping out of your eyes and cascading down your cheeks. He still remembers the salty streaks from the last time he’d been this close to you. How could he ever forget when the pain he’s been carrying in his chest for so long never denied itself. You had given his heart back to him, but you sure took a piece of it for yourself before that, though how could he blame you when he had done the same… to have the smallest part of you and suffer rather than have no memory of you was and would always be Daniel’s first and only choice.

“Daniel,” your eyes traveled back to his warm eyes, the same one’s that had made you all the promises of a perfect tomorrow. One that never came. One that you still let yourself dream about whenever the air smelled like the cologne you’d gifted him, the one he was still wearing now…

Looking at him you wished you could hate him, you wished to be physically repulsed by the man in front of you, maybe that would help you walk away now and continue living as you once had. Striving for the brightest most delightful future, without looking back at the old dark days, but he has possessed your mind, you can no longer make a step without seeing him there, what if’s about the past clouding your future. How could he sit there and give you those eyes… those gorgeous sad eyes. You bit back your lip. You could no longer kiss his sad eyes and see them light back up after.

“Y/n… you were the love of my life,” he accepts the torture that is to come his way, he knows he deserves it for the crime he just committed. Tears were fully running down your cheeks now, large droplets falling into the sand beneath your feet and disappearing right away, like they were never there…

“Why are you doing this to me, Daniel?” you instinctively covered your face with your palms as sobs made your shoulders tremble, hiding the tears from him even if he’s seen them already. You hated nothing more than for him to see you cry.

“I just… I felt that you had to know, because I never told you how much I actually loved you. I treated you so wrong for a very long time and I am to blame for that… I was the shitty older guy who took advantage of someone who didn’t know what she was doing…”

“That was the problem, Daniel. You always viewed me as a child…I am young, but I am not a kid and I can make decisions for myself. You might regret me, but I know the choices I made and I have no remorse over them,” your heart ached. How unfortunate is it to meet the love of your life and understand that they never truly saw you as their equal.

“The only thing I regret is not doing more to get to know you and… leaving you behind… I was in the wrong, so please do not cry darling…” his voice sounded so different, he was breaking from the inside out seeing you this way. He leaned closer to you, his warm palms encompassing your wrists to reveal your face to him.

Two pairs of teary eyes stared into one another.

The both of you took in a shaky breath in, which finally broke the suffocating tension and helped your lips ease into a simple smile. Daniel wiped at your cheeks, his touch ghostly light, removing the salty puddles, before gracing your forehead with an effortless kiss.

“I’m sorry too, Daniel,” you leaned back just so you could once again let yourself go and drown in his warm eyes, completely forgetting your morals and bringing back the buried feelings you couldn’t not tell him, “You were also the love of my life…”

Now it was Daniel’s turn to let the tears flow. And he did. He wished he had you, all of you, he wished to cry on your shoulder whenever a race went wrong, he wished to have your attentive hands run through his curls and soothe him when the air seemed to get too heavy. Most importantly he wished he had said it sooner, the short ‘L’ word, because if he had, you’d be home, tangled in bed together with big tranquil smiles on your faces.

Instead you two were crying on a beach together, reminiscing on what would have been if it could have been. But it was enough for Daniel, even if he was crying, at the very least he was crying with you… the love of his life…

^^

A.N. loving older men is not a hobby, it's a lifestyle<3

[the-faceless-bride]

Wasted on a dream...

Imagine: In your final moments you confess how you've wasted your life on a dream, and you figure you might as well tell someone how you feel, even if it isn't the one who is about to take your life... Or... Was.

Includes: Asa (the collector), Jesse (Chromeskull), Jason (the zombie), Daniel(Candyman), Thomas (leatherface)

Asa The Collector

You weren't meant to be in his collection, it was meant to be one of your roommates to start. He was watching for a while and thought they would be a pretty addition to his collecting, a pretty new butterfly... Well until he saw how much prettier you were...

That night he had your roommate in the box and you and the other tied to chairs, he planned to be a bit more creative tonight feeling inspired by his recent catch, and while the other roommate kicked, screamed, bit, and cussed a storm at him trying to get away... You sat there in silence.

At first, he thought you just knew you weren't getting out and had already given up, but there was much more than that... You were thinking about how much time you waisted...

Staying home every night, waiting for that prince charming you dreamed so much about, taking all those cold showers, and wasting all that time... Throwing your life away on a dream that never came true...

When he finally had more on to you, you were already lost in thought. You smiled, your lower lip quivering slightly before letting out a huff of a chuckle. "Wanna know something funny?" Asa paused, this was new. People didn't talk to him... Well, at least not as you had just done now. How interesting. "I always thought I was gonna have a fairytale life, with a prince and a perfect home, and be taken care of all my life... All that dreaming... Waiting... Wishing... And it was all for nothing... Im gonna die, and I never even got to see that prince... Not even once..." A tear slowly descends on your cheek.

You weren't paying attention to anything the man in the mask was doing but you heard a scream and then a gurgle before a bloodied hand reached out and roughly picked you up, and before you could fully process what was happening you were dropped in a closed small space before the top was closed over you.

Asa knew he was no prince charming, but if being taken care of and having a home was all you wanted? He could do that for you butterfly.

Jesse Chromeskull

Jesse had found you; Jesse had just finished playing with his latest piggy and was making his way to his car to go home. But stopped when he heard a soft sniffle, Jesse paused in his moments and turned on his heel. And that's when he spotted you.

Sitting on the curb of the street; tears falling down your glistening cheeks, lip slightly wabbling, shoulders jolting with each sniffle and harsh breath, eyes downcast looking at your feet. Aww, poor little piggy... Looking slightly to the left of you he saw an empty beer bottle, just how many of those have you had?

He slowly made his way over to you, briefly looking around to make sure there would be no witnesses and he slowly turned on his camera.

You heard some shuffling before it stopped right next to you, you sniffled one last time before turning and looking up at who was next to you. Jesse found you looking up at him with your puppy dog eyes endearing.

'What's wrong?' A custom text-to-speech voice asked you, and you let out a small huff. " it's a long story... But to sum it up, I was at a party with my boyfriend and uhh... Turns out he needed more than me... Caught him with my best friend... So much for prince charming..." Ouch, Jesse thought. You mumble that last part to yourself, but Jesse heard you. Jesse tilted his head to you, 'need a ride home?' The text-to-speech offered, and while he was a stranger and if you were sober would have said hell no, you were heartbroken and very much drunk...

You sat in the passenger seat of Jesse's sleek leather seated car, looking out the window as Jesse drove. You were still sniffling but weren't breaking down. Jesse was expecting you to stay quiet for the whole drive, but you surprised him. "Have you ever been in love?" Jesse teased for a moment his hands tightening on the steering wheel, "I always wanted to be... I always dreamed of being deeply in love with someone, someone who loved me and wanted to care for me, someone to have a family with, someone who would do anything for me if I asked... You think that's real?" Jesse slowly eased back up, and he thought for a moment... Yes, he was in love once... Well, at least he thinks he was in love... He did marry her, he was going to have a family with her, he was going to have a family with her, and if she asked him for the mood he would do anything he could to give it to her... Yeah, he is pretty sure that was love... Only she wasn't as in love with him as he was with her...

You softly laughed before looking over at him, "im starting to lose hope... That person doesn't exist, do they." You were no longer asking a question...you had started to realize that, that fairytale was nothing but a lie. No, Jesse thought, they exist... I was that person.

Jesse pulled a U and started driving to his house, this whole time he was gonna bring you to the playroom. You would've made a pretty piggy; hell you hadn't even given him your address, he just started driving and you just accepted it, just assuming somehow he knew where you lived. But Jesse had a new plan as he drove home, slowly turning off and removing his camera.

Jason V. The zombie

You met because of a date gone terribly wrong you went on a date with a 'nice guy' who you thought was finally the prince you were waiting for. when he said you were going to Camp Crystal lake you heard of the place and figured it was technically a resting place and it would be quite rude to just go rummaging around there without something? So you picked some flowers from your garden and went on your date.

It was not how you thought it was going to go, and it all went downhill as soon as you placed the small assortment of flowers at the docks and the first thing your date did was scoff you felt awful for what happened to this poor boy and your date only rolled his eyes at the story not feeling sorry at all. But the large man hiding and watching found it to be very thoughtful of you...

And it was the final straw when you went to sit down and your date started kissing you, but not in a sweet way... Lustfully, and didn't take too kindly when you pulled away with a frown, for a few reasons... The first being that this was still technically a resting place as someone did die here and was still here, or their body at least. And if they thought that you were going to drop your pants in the forest of said resting ground and degrade this poor boys place of rest they were horribly mistaken, and second you thought this would be the place to finally make it official and they would ask you to be their partner, here with the fireflies, wilderness, and the big ol' beautiful sunset... Guess not.

When they started berating you for being "a prude" and making those pretty eyes of yours tear up, they got an axe thrown into the back of their head... You gasped, a moment of shock as some small blood bullets landed on your face you let out a screech. Standing to run but managing to run right into a bear trap. You fall with a cry and look up at the large looming man above you. You whimper a please before laying your head on the soft dirt ground with a small cry.

Jason knelt down getting on his knees beside you, snapping open the trap as quickly and painlessly as he could. Before lifting you and letting your head rest on his strong chest.

It shattered his undead heart hearing you softly babble about how "this isn't how the night was meant to go", " this is where your fairytale was finally meant to start...", and "wasted so much time of something that was never going to be..."

You poor little thing... Don't worry, Mamma likes you, and so does he! He can give you a fairytale, just like the ones in the story books his mom would read him at night before bed. He could be your prince...

Just as long it meant you would be his princex and would give him his fairytale in return...

Daniel R. the candyman

You were forced to do this, the boy you liked and had been daydreaming about had invited you to his house and you were over the moon. You were convinced that this is where you were finally going to be noticed and loved... You were wrong, not a minute or two after showing up you were laughed at by him and his friends, called names, tossed in a dark bathroom, and told that until you said the words to summon the candyman you wouldn't be let out.

You were already crying by the time you got past the first word, it wasn't a secret that this stuff scared you and made you want to hide away under your covers like a little kid. And all you could hear was their laughter at your quivering voice.

Daniel slowly woke up and watched for you to say the last few words, he grew intrigued no one who called him was already crying. It was clear you didn't want this, so why were you? It wasn't until the fourth call that he could hear around him, your soft sobs and the laughter of the group behind the door... And while Daniel didn't know you locking you in here wasn't a very nice thing for them to do to you...

By the final call, you had covered your eyes with both hands and whimpered to be let out... But there was only silence. You went to open the door but were quickly grabbed and pulled away from the door. And he was there, looking down at you. "Now why would you do something so foolish as to call to me, when you clearly do not want me?" And you spilled. You figured he would kill you and you might as well confess everything in your heart now.

All your daydreaming, wishing, your dreams of "being the one someone looks at like your the most beautiful thing they had ever seen, to be loved and have someone be hopelessly devoted to you and you in return, to be the one that lights someone's world with a single smile..." And it touched Daniels bee-infected heart...

Daniel looked into your eyes, a slow tilt to his head before slowly caressing his hook along your jaw, "If that is what you want..."- moving softly up your cheek before moving back to lift your chin... -" then you shall have it..."

And just like that, when you blinked he was gone... When you wanted out you gasped in horror, the group was gutted and strewn about the room...

You were with a group of friends, the group had all stopped to grab some things at a convince store when you and Thomas locked eyes for the first time. He was helping his momma put heavy boxes up on some high shelves when you saw him, the sun caught in his dark curly hair, his eyes sparking a burning desire. He was beautiful and strong, and from how he was with the sweet old lady at the counter he was respectful and thoughtful, which was much more than any of the other guys your age.

But nothing can ever go your way, as you were immediately teased for your interest in the giant. One going as far as to make a joke about "beauty and the beast" taking a jab at your love for fairytales and your dreams of living one making the rest of the group all laugh at you. You knew they were only playing... That didn't make you feel any less silly or mocked...

But you head your head high, "look im sorry im not willing to settle for some jerk who is only interested in sex and thinks he is such a nice guy for giving the fantasy lover a chance, I want someone who really wants me not just for looks or body." I take a gab at the one who made the joke as she and her boyfriend had been fighting about how their relationship was all sex, but she hit a nerve and she knew how important it was to you... No matter how silly or childish it was...

While you were talking it caught the giant's attention... As well as his mother. And boy was she gitty about the whole situation, God had finally answered her prayers... Her sweet Tommy and a sweet person like you... Someone who will love Tommy with all theirr heart no matter what he does, or what he looks like...

Later that night when your group's can broke down and ended up at the Hewitt household, while your friends were taken down into the basement you ended up in a drug-induced sleep in Tommy's bed... His own sleeping beauty...

[gvfgal]

How to Fall in Love in Ten Days

*18+ series. Minors DNI

A/n: Day 8 of 10 🥲 Im so attached to this story so it’s gonna be a hard one to let go of once I’m finished but I’m so glad to be able to share it with you guys! It’s not too late to be added to the taglist, and as always leave your questions, comments, and concerns wherever you see fit! Enjoy 🤍

Content Warnings: plenty of fluff for ya, explicit sexual content, oral (f!rec), unprotected sex, breeding.

Word Count: 6.2k

Day Eight: The Garden

You awoke the next morning in an unfamiliar setting, not the usual scenery that greeted your mornings. However, the moment you felt the Duke’s limbs entwined with yours, the events of the previous night came rushing back. As you turned over, you found Daniel already watching you with a tired smile, his fingers lazily tracing patterns along your leg as he waited for you to awaken.

“Good morning,” you murmured, smiling back at him as you took in his morning features, highlighted by the early morning sun streaming through the curtains.

“Good morning,” he responded as he nuzzled in closer to press lazy kisses into your neck, speaking in between them, “I was waiting for you to wake up. I missed you while you were dreaming.”

His affections started off sweet, but began to shift as his kisses turned into nipping, signaling he was ready to light the flame from last night once more. You moaned quietly as he sucked a warm wet mark to life on the skin just below your ear. “What are you doing your Grace?” you asked with a smirk playing at your parted lips, “was last night not enough to satiate you?” You knew very well that it in fact was not enough, it wasn’t enough for you either.

Daniel lifted his head to look at you, “I have spent far too long denying myself of your touch,” he squeezed your thigh to emphasize his point, “and now that I have it, I am going to fully enjoy it.”

He dipped below the covers with a mischievous glint in his eyes, causing you to giggle. But the laugh was stolen from your lungs and replaced with another moan as Daniel’s mouth swept across your skin again, this time on the sensitive spot of your inner thigh.

You rolled over to your back and spread your legs apart as his mouth ascended upwards, closer and closer to your heat that was eager to be tended to again.

“Look at that,” the Duke’s muffled voice called out to you from below the covers, “opening yourself up to me, are you angel?” He placed a feather light kiss on your folds that caused you to jolt, pleasure and anticipation still playing on your face, “I couldn’t get you to do this for me last night. Does that mean my pretty flower beginning to bloom?”

“Perhaps,” you blushed under his harmless teasing, pulling your lip between your teeth at the way his breath fanned over your center, “why don’t you see for yourself?”

Accepting the invitation, Daniel’s hands curled into your waist as his tongue began to seek you out. A long drag of it, from river valley to peak had you grabbing onto his hair for dear life, a pathetic sigh escaping your parted lips. You were still sensitive, your body adjusting to all the new sensations it had experienced in the last several hours, but it only served to make the feeling of his mouth on you all the better.

He repeated the action, receiving the same response from you, and just as he was about to go back for more, a knock sounded at his chamber doors.

You could discern Daniel’s displeasure at the interruption even before he extricated himself from beneath the covers, his hair now in even greater disarray than before. He didn’t bother dressing himself, and you bit back a grin while staring at his backside as he sauntered his way over to the door.

As he cracked the door open and peered out to greet the visitor, you instinctively pulled the comforter closer to your chin, suddenly feeling a flush of embarrassment. The thought that whoever Daniel was speaking to might discern what had transpired just moments before made you acutely self-conscious.

After a few moments of muted discourse, Daniel nodded and murmured his final instruction, “send for a robe from Roslyn.”

He closed the door softly behind him and returned to the bed, a wistful smile gracing his lips as his hand sought the smooth curve of your calf.

“We have much to attend to today,” he said, his voice calm and soothing. “As much as I would relish remaining here with you throughout the day, with the ball of the season to host tomorrow,” he added with a playful wink, “we must rouse ourselves.”

You returned his smile, though reluctantly, feeling the pang of separation after such a cherished night. Yet, the new, palpable shift in the air between you made the prospect of parting easier, for it promised a sweet reunion.

Unable to resist, the Duke leaned in to kiss you deeply before drawing back to tenderly brush his fingers through your hair. “I have instructed the servants to return in ten minutes,” he continued, “and I have asked Sebastian to have Roslyn fetch you a robe so you may prepare for the day.”

You leaned into his touch, savoring the moment, and said, “I shall miss you.”

Daniel’s grin widened. “I will be counting the moments until I see you again.”

Sebastian hurried through the house with an animated air, nearly colliding with a servant bearing decorations for the ball. After a swift apology, he pressed on with renewed urgency, seeking out Roslyn. Upon locating her in the servants’ quarters, he approached with an air of excitement.

“My heavens, Bash!” Roslyn exclaimed, startled. “You nearly gave me a fright.”

“Pay that no mind,” he waved off, “I believe Her Grace spent the night with the Duke.”

Roslyn’s interest was immediately piqued. She set aside her needle and thread, giving Sebastian her full attention.

“When we went to rouse the Duke for the day,” Sebastian continued, “he bade us leave for ten minutes and asked me to fetch you for a robe. I can only surmise he had not intended it for himself.”

Roslyn’s lips curled into a knowing smirk. “Last night, I observed a light still burning in the library. Upon investigating, I discovered quite an intriguing scene. Let us just say, there will be extra laundry on my list today.”

Their eyes met in mutual understanding, and soon they were both laughing like schoolgirls. As a few other servants looked on, they quickly composed themselves.

“Enough idle chatter, Bash,” Roslyn chided, though her own grin betrayed her. “We must maintain our decorum. But this is splendid news.”

“Indeed, splendid,” Sebastian agreed, “and it seems we may have cause to celebrate come tomorrow.”

As Roslyn moved to the laundry room, Sebastian followed, watching her retrieve a freshly steamed silk robe and drape it over her arm. “That is,” she added with a snicker, “if we can manage to disentangle them long enough to complete our duties. I shall fetch the Duchess before it’s too late.”

You stood at the center of the bustling ballroom, where servants and decorators hurried past in a flurry of activity, each one striving to ensure every detail was flawless for the upcoming ball. Roslyn was at your side, engaged in deep discussion with the florist—a conversation in which you, too, should have been participating. Yet your thoughts were adrift, lost in the intoxicating memories of your husband, utterly detached from the preparations unfolding around you.

Your mind wandered to the feel of his touch, the enthralling sensation of being enveloped by his presence, and the myriad emotions he had stirred within you. Without realizing it, your fingers traced the fading red mark he had left just below your ear, absently caressing the tender spot as you daydreamed.

"Your Grace?" Roslyn’s voice pulled you back to the present, causing you to start slightly as you turned to face her and the young florist, who now looked at you expectantly.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Are you agreeable to making those replacements?" Roslyn repeated, her tone gentle yet pointed. The question, however, did little to clarify what had been discussed. Striving to conceal your disorientation, you glanced between the two women, offering a vague nod.

"Yes... Yes, that should be satisfactory... I suppose."

Roslyn and the florist exchanged a knowing glance, the faintest hint of amusement shared at your expense. The florist then offered a polite curtsy before excusing herself, moving to another corner of the ballroom to direct her team. As she departed, Roslyn waited until the woman was out of earshot before turning to you, her voice lowered in concern.

"Madam, are you quite well?"

You glanced around the room, feigning composure before offering a faint nod. "Yes, I am quite well. My apologies, I fear my thoughts have strayed elsewhere," you replied, a nervous chuckle escaping your lips.

Roslyn chose her words with care. "It is only natural, I suppose, after... well..." She trailed off, giving you a look that revealed she was fully aware of the recent events within Sterling House, particularly those of the previous night. Realizing Roslyn was privy to your thoughts, you let out an exasperated sigh and collapsed into the nearest chair, burying your face in your folded arms.

"Your Grace," Roslyn joined you at the table, her voice tinged with concern. "What troubles you? I had thought your spirits would be lifted now that you and the Duke have finally breached the barrier that kept you both at a distance. Yet, you seem just as troubled as before. Have I missed something?"

You peered up at her, debating whether to reveal the turmoil in your heart. The genuine concern in her eyes compelled you to confide.

"Do not mistake my melancholy for discontent, Roslyn. I am indeed happy—more than happy—with the progress the Duke and I have made," you admitted, a wistful smile gracing your lips at the mere mention of his name. "This is what I have long desired."

"But?" Roslyn interjected, sensing there was more left unsaid.

You hesitated briefly before turning fully to face her, lowering your voice in earnest. "But I did not anticipate feeling so deeply for him so soon. I imagined I would first grow fond of him, and in time, love would follow. Yet it seems I have bypassed that entirely and plunged headlong into being utterly captivated. Roslyn, I believe I already love him."

"Surely that is a blessing, is it not?" Her voice rose in surprise, unable to comprehend your distress.

"It is," you replied, your frustration mounting. You quickly composed yourself, not wanting to direct your agitation at the one person who had always been in your corner. "But what if I am allowing myself to hope for too much?"

Roslyn shook her head, puzzled. "I beg your pardon, Your Grace, but I do not follow."

"What if all of this—his attentions, his confessions—was merely a means to an end? What if, once I fully surrender to him, he reverts to his former self and casts me aside once more? It would be far more devastating now that my feelings for him have deepened. I do not think I could bear such heartache, and I fear I am unknowingly setting myself up for it." You felt a wave of foolishness wash over you, ashamed for doubting him after all he had revealed to you. Yet, your mind remained guarded, unwilling to let go of its cautious hold.

"Oh, my dear," Roslyn reached out and clasped your hand in her own, her touch warm and reassuring. "You must trust that such cruelty is not in the Duke’s nature. Yes, he can be stubborn, but I cannot believe him capable of such callousness."

You looked at her, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment as you realized she was right, though she showed no judgment for your concerns.

"I shall say what I have said to you many times before," she continued with a knowing smile. "I have known the Duke for many years, and when he speaks, he speaks with truth. Whatever he has confessed to you, it came from the depths of his heart."

You nodded, recalling the sincerity with which he had laid himself bare before you. "You are right. I do know that."

Roslyn smiled warmly, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. "Do not allow your own mind to sabotage the beauty that is blossoming between you. As trite as it may sound, follow your heart, Your Grace. I assure you, it is worth the risk."

Your eyes wandered around the room, taking in the grandeur of the preparations for the ball, a celebration of you and your husband. It was lavish, yet fitting for the depth of feeling that had grown between you and the Duke. It was indeed something to be celebrated, despite the obstacles you both had faced. In such a short time, you had found a place of comfort with one another, and there was still a lifetime ahead.

You smiled at Roslyn, a smile that conveyed both assurance and gratitude. "You are right. Thank you. Now, could you enlighten me as to which 'replacements' we are making for this ball?"

Roslyn chuckled at the sheepish look on your face before rising from her chair. "Allow me to fetch the florist, and we shall review the details once more.”

Daniel stood rigid upon the tailor’s platform, the meticulous adjustments to his attire for the ball seeming to drag on interminably. His gaze, fixed upon his reflection in the mirror, took in the elegance of his clothing, yet his thoughts were far from the fine fabric draping his form. His mind, instead, was wholly occupied by you.

He stole a glance at the clock. Four hours—it had been four long hours since he last felt your touch, basked in your presence, and the absence gnawed at him. Sebastian, ever dutiful, made attempts at conversation, but Daniel’s responses dwindled from polite interest to monosyllables, until he fell into a brooding silence.

The room grew hushed, the only sound the rustling of fabric and the measured, steady breath of the tailor. Daniel’s impatience mounted with each passing minute, every stitch a delay in his return to you.

“Pardon me, Your Grace,” the tailor ventured cautiously, adjusting his spectacles with a delicate hand, “but might I inquire as to your preference for the cravat—shall it be the paler shade of blue, or perhaps the more opulent hue?”

Daniel’s response came with such immediacy that it was apparent his mind was elsewhere. “Yes.”

The tailor hesitated, his brows knitting in perplexity as he cast a questioning glance towards Sebastian, who stood nearby. Sebastian, noting the Duke’s distraction, offered a discreet gesture, silently advising the tailor to let the matter rest. Understanding the unspoken command, the tailor nodded, returning to his work. “Very well, Your Grace. I shall prepare both options, and you may decide upon the morrow.”

But the Duke, lost in the labyrinth of his thoughts, offered no acknowledgment, his gaze fixed intently upon the mirror, where memories of the previous night played out in vivid detail.

As the tailor completed his task, Sebastian stepped forward to assist the Duke into his day attire. He noted the urgency in Daniel’s movements, the subtle signs of agitation that belied the man’s outward composure.

“Your Grace,” Sebastian began cautiously, fastening the final button on the Duke’s shirt, “is everything quite alright?”

Daniel slipped his arms into his coat with a swiftness that suggested impatience. “I am well, Sebastian. In fact, I am better than I have been in quite some time.” The words were true, yet they held a note of unease that did not escape Sebastian’s notice.

“I would think so,” Sebastian remarked, a hint of teasing in his voice, “after the state in which I found you this morning.” The two exchanged a knowing look, and though Daniel attempted to suppress it, a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. Without further ado, he turned and strode from the room, Sebastian hurrying to keep pace.

“But if that is indeed the case,” Sebastian continued as they walked down the corridor towards the Duke’s office, “why do you appear so unsettled?”

Daniel swept into his office, crossing the room in a few brisk strides to reach his desk. He began pulling out documents with purpose, dipping his quill into the inkwell with a practiced hand. Yet as he attempted to focus on his work, Sebastian lingered before the desk, waiting expectantly.

With a resigned sigh, Daniel set the quill down, recognizing that his steward would not be dismissed so easily. “Must we discuss this now, Sebastian?”

Sebastian shrugged, his expression one of patient insistence. The Duke relented, running a hand through his hair in frustration before finally giving in.

“Very well,” Daniel conceded, a reluctant smile softening his features, “things between the Duchess and I have surpassed even my most guarded hopes. I find myself caring for her in ways I never thought possible, and to my astonishment, it seems she reciprocates these feelings. It is everything I desired, though I never dared to believe it could truly come to pass.”

Sebastian nodded in understanding, yet his discerning gaze remained steadfast, sensing there was more to be said. “But?”

Daniel sighed, the weight of his thoughts evident in his expression. “But if I proceed with this... if I commit to her fully, if I truly embrace her as my wife, it will alter the very fabric of my existence. My priorities will inevitably shift, and she will undoubtedly become my highest concern. Together, we shall govern the duchy as one, a responsibility that, I must admit, brings with it a certain... trepidation.”

“I understand,” Sebastian prompted gently, allowing space for further reflection.

Daniel hesitated before continuing, a soft laugh escaping him as he confessed, “Sebastian, I believe I have fallen in love with her.” The words, though spoken aloud only to you before, now felt more tangible, more irrevocable as he shared them with another.

“I am certain she would make an exemplary wife. In truth, she already is. And I wish to be the husband she deserves, to rise to the occasion and be the man she can depend upon.”

“But?” Sebastian urged him on, sensing the Duke’s lingering doubts.

“But,” Daniel echoed, his voice tinged with vulnerability, “what if I fail her? What if I cannot meet her expectations? I have faltered before, and the thought of disappointing her, of letting her down once again, is something I cannot bear.”

The room fell silent as Daniel wrestled with the fears that had long been buried, now brought to the surface by his deepening affection. Sebastian, ever the loyal confidant, watched with a steady gaze, his presence a reminder that the Duke need not face these doubts alone.

Sebastian considered his words carefully before speaking, his tone soft yet steady. “Perhaps, Your Grace, I can offer you a story that may help ease your concerns.”

Daniel’s curiosity piqued as Sebastian began. “When I was but a boy, my father planted a small eastern redbud tree on our property. It was a frail little thing, but my father tended to it with great care. He watered it, pruned it, and shielded it from the elements. For years, he nurtured that tree, and I watched as it slowly grew and eventually blossomed into the most beautiful sight. My father was overjoyed, finally seeing the fruits of his labor.”

Daniel listened intently, sensing the deeper meaning behind the tale.

“But after that,” Sebastian continued, “he began to care for it less and less. The tree had become all he had hoped it would be, and in his contentment, he stopped tending to it as he once had. Gradually, the tree withered and, eventually, it died.”

Sebastian paused, allowing the weight of the story to settle. “The lesson, Your Grace, is that love, like that tree, requires constant nurturing. It is not enough to tend to it only until it flourishes. If you wish for it to continue growing strong, you must care for it each day, even after it has blossomed.”

Daniel’s gaze softened, his eyes reflecting the weight of Sebastian’s words. The wisdom shared by his trusted companion resonated deeply, stirring within him a quiet resolve.

“If you do that,” Sebastian continued with a reassuring smile, “everything else will fall into place. Now is not the time to shy away from the challenge, but rather to work even harder to ensure that your marriage flourishes. What you share with the Duchess is something rare and beautiful. Do not let it slip through your fingers.”

Daniel nodded, absorbing the truth in Sebastian’s counsel. It was a truth he had known in his heart but had been too fearful to fully embrace.

“And I’ve no doubt,” Sebastian added, his voice carrying a note of encouragement, “that if you nurture this bond, both you and the Duchess will find a happiness far greater than you ever dared to imagine.”

“Yes, I suppose you’re right, Sebastian,” Daniel finally replied, his tone laced with newfound determination. A moment of contemplation passed before an idea flickered in his mind, reigniting the light in his eyes. “I need your assistance with something,” he declared, his voice steady and sure, a hint of excitement underlying his words.

“At your service, Your Grace,” Sebastian replied with unwavering loyalty, his voice steeped in earnest devotion. “Whatever you require, I stand ready to assist—for your sake, and for hers.”

By the time the sun dipped low on the horizon, casting a golden glow over Sterling House, you and the Duke were finally reunited. He appeared at the threshold of your chamber, his presence drawing you into a brief but fervent embrace. In the quiet of the hallway, you couldn’t resist stealing a heated kiss, your lips meeting with a passion that defied the hour’s propriety. Yet before desire could carry you both too far, Daniel, ever the master of surprises, gently drew you away, a playful glint in his eye.

“I have something in store for you,” he whispered, his tone laced with intrigue.

You, ever the eager recipient of his surprises, followed him with a smile that matched his own. When he moved to cover your eyes with his hands, guiding you the rest of the way, you obliged without hesitation, your heart fluttering with excitement.

The cool evening air caressed your skin, and the gentle symphony of crickets serenaded your journey.

“Where are you taking me, Your Grace?” you asked, laughter bubbling in your voice. “We shall be tardy for dinner.”

He chuckled, his voice rich with amusement. “We cannot be late, my wife,” he said as he came to a stop, removing his hands from your face, “if we are exactly on time.”

As your eyes fluttered open, you found yourself standing in the heart of the garden, transformed by twilight’s embrace. Before you lay a secluded picnic, set beneath the boughs of an ancient oak, its leaves whispering secrets to the evening breeze. The ground was adorned with a rich tapestry, its intricate patterns woven in shades of deep burgundy and gold, atop which rested an array of delicacies.

There were platters of fine cheeses, their rich aromas mingling with the scent of freshly baked bread. Fruits of the season—plump grapes, ripe figs, and sweet strawberries—were arranged in a painterly fashion. A roast pheasant, its skin crisp and golden, lay beside a dish of roasted vegetables, their colors vivid even in the fading light.

Lanterns hung from the branches above, casting a soft glow over the scene, while the distant murmur of the fountain added to the garden’s enchantment. The entire tableau was a testament to Daniel’s thoughtfulness, a world crafted for just the two of you.

"I thought perhaps we might enjoy our dinner together, away from the bustle and noise," Daniel suggested, his voice warm with anticipation. "Just the two of us, beneath the stars."

You squeezed his hand in gratitude. "That sounds utterly divine."

With a gentle touch, Daniel guided you to the waiting picnic, assisting you to your seat before taking his place across from you. He began to prepare a plate for you, his every movement deliberate and attentive.

As you surveyed the surroundings, a deep sense of tranquility settled over you. Where once there had been turmoil, now there was only peace and contentment. The serenity of the moment felt almost dreamlike, as if you had ascended to a place beyond the earthly realm, and Daniel was there beside you, sharing in the rapture.

He poured wine into delicate crystal glasses, lifting his in a silent toast. "Here’s to what we have become thus far," he began, leaving a space for you to complete the sentiment.

"And to everything we will become in the days ahead," you added softly, your voice carrying the weight of your shared journey.

A knowing smile curved Daniel's lips. "To my wife."

"And to my husband," you echoed, your heart full.

The meal unfolded in a gentle rhythm, the conversation flowing easily between you. Your hands, drawn by a magnetic pull, found excuses to touch, to linger in each other's grasp.

Daniel’s eyes shone with a light that rivaled the stars above as he spoke, more freely than you had ever heard him before. He was animated, sharing his visions for the future, the changes he hoped to bring to Sterling House, the plans he had for your life together. You listened intently, offering your thoughts and ideas, which he welcomed with genuine interest. It was clear that he valued your input, and this mutual exchange only deepened the bond between you. The knowledge that you were both equally committed to this union filled you with a quiet joy.

As the night wore on, the conversation naturally turned to more intimate topics—family traditions, childhood memories, and dreams of what your life might be beyond the roles of Duke and Duchess.

"You will adore our summer house on the Isle of Wight," Daniel said, his voice tinged with nostalgia. "It overlooks the North Sea, with pastures that stretch as far as the eye can see. I spent countless summers there as a child, running wild through the fields."

A smile touched your lips at the thought. "So, that is where our child will run about in the summers to come?" you mused, indulging in the pleasant image.

Daniel took a sip of his wine, a mischievous gleam in his eye. "Children," he corrected with a wink. "And yes, indeed."

“Children,” you echoed, your voice laced with a hidden delight as you masked your amusement behind the rim of your glass. “As in more than one?”

“Oh, most assuredly,” he teased, beginning to clear the now-empty plates. “As many as the heavens see fit to bless us with.”

“Well then, Your Grace,” you began, your tone slow and suggestive as you crawled toward him with feline grace, “we mustn’t squander a single moment.” The words slipped from your lips in a seductive whisper, and as soon as you were within reach, Daniel’s arms encircled you, pulling you close.

He wasted no time, his lips claiming yours with a fervor that spoke of long-held anticipation, as if he had been waiting all through dinner for this very moment.

“I suppose you’re right,” he murmured against your lips as he finally broke the kiss, his breath mingling with yours. “To waste time would indeed be folly,” he paused, pressing a tender kiss to the nape of your neck, “and so we must make haste.”

Just as the moment began to intensify, with Daniel’s hands starting to tug at the delicate sleeves of your gown, a sudden rustling in the nearby bushes brought you both to a startled halt. You froze, breath held, as the rustling continued, your hearts pounding in unison as you waited to see what might emerge.

At last, a small brown rabbit hopped from the underbrush, its soft form bathed in the dim glow of the evening. It paused a few feet away, its whiskers twitching as it regarded you both with innocent curiosity.

“Nature’s own voyeur,” Daniel whispered with amusement, his hold on you firm and warm. You stifled a laugh, your hand quickly covering your mouth to muffle the sound.

The bunny, undeterred, resumed its mysterious journey, disappearing into the shadows of the night with a few graceful hops.

“It seems we’ve been found out,” you murmured, still smiling. “Perhaps it is a sign that we were up to no good here in the garden.”

Daniel chuckled, his eyes twinkling as he gently released you. “Ah, but it is our garden, is it not? We may do as we please within its bounds.”

“I shall remember that,” you said, smoothing the fabric of your dress as you began to collect yourself. “But we have a long day ahead, and if we are to be well-rested, it might be wise to retire.”

Daniel looked at you with a longing that was difficult to set aside, yet he knew you were right. “I agree.”

With that, he helped you to your feet, escorting you back inside as the evening’s magic began to gently fade. The servants quietly emerged to tidy up the remains of your picnic as you bid one another goodnight, the promise of tomorrow hanging sweetly in the air between you.

That night, though you and the Duke retired to your separate chambers, the distance between you felt unnaturally vast. The solitude that once brought you peace now felt alien, a stark contrast to the warmth of his embrace that you had come to cherish after just one night spent in his arms. Rest eluded you, and the notion of lying there in longing became intolerable.

Quietly, you slipped from your bed, the soft rustle of your nightgown the only sound in the stillness of the night. You made your way through the labyrinthine halls, the candlelight casting long, flickering shadows that seemed to stretch endlessly. At last, you reached the door to his room, and without hesitation, you turned the handle, the door opening without a sound, revealing the darkness within.

As your eyes adjusted to the dim light, you discerned the silhouette of the Duke lying in his grand bed, one knee casually propped up, his hands resting beneath his head as he gazed at the ceiling in silent contemplation. The moment he sensed your presence, he turned his head, his voice breaking the stillness as he softly called your name.

“It is I,” you whispered in reply, your voice gentle as you closed the door behind you, sealing the two of you in the quiet intimacy of the night.

He rose from his bed, his gaze fixed upon you as you glided toward him, the delicate fabric of your nightgown trailing gracefully in your wake. "I wondered if you might come to me tonight," he murmured, his voice a low whisper, as though speaking any louder might disturb the tranquil night. As you paused beside him, he reached out, his hands encircling your waist, his fingers idly toying with the soft fabric of your gown. "I was beginning to think I might have to fetch you myself."

You looked down at him, your eyes speaking volumes, conveying all the unspoken thoughts and desires that swirled within you. With a gentle press of your finger against his chest, you urged the Duke to recline once more, his eyes never leaving yours as he complied, surrendering to the moment.

“You know I couldn’t be away from you too long,” you voiced as you climbed atop of him, throwing your leg over his frame to straddle him. Daniel’s strong hands found your waist once more, inhaling your scent deeply as you leaned down to kiss him.

When you rested on him, you felt his member already rock solid beneath you, as if it had been for some time, and a coy smile interrupted the kiss just as his tongue dipped into your mouth.

“Was my husband thinking of me?” You teased him as you began gathering your gown up out of the way. Daniel assisted you in removing your undergarments that were preventing him for feeling the place he was desperate to feel.

"Do not be absurd," he replied, a hint of playful reproach in his voice. "You are ever present in my thoughts." Now free, you lifted to your knees as the Duke held his erection in place, waiting for you to let him in. With one hand on his chest and the other holding your gown, you slowly slid down onto him, welcoming the stretch that once brought pain with it, but now only seemed to bring nothing but ecstasy.

The Duke hissed as you lowered yourself onto him fully, his fingers gripping you tighter as he watched your face shift with the pleasure the feeling introduced. When he reached the hilt, both of your mouths fell agape, yet no sound escaped, and neither of you dared to stir.

When you finally did move, following the movements he coached you through the night before, your head fell back as a breathy moan escaped your still parted lips.

“No darling,” Daniel gently corrected. One hand reluctantly left your waist, tenderly lifting your chin to meet his gaze. “Eyes on me,” he murmured, his voice laced with a fervent intensity that sparkled in his eyes.

Your movements begin to pick up as you beheld him just as he wanted you to, and Daniel relaxed back onto his pillow once more, admiring the way you rolled yourself on to him. It was as though you were blossoming into a true virtuoso before his very eyes, and he felt a wicked sense of pride in witnessing how completely you were surrendering to him. His heavy breathing and your moaning were the only sounds heard in the room, encapsulating you in the perfect intimate moment. This night held an even deeper sanctity than the one prior, solidifying your bond in a way that left no doubt—after this, there would be no turning back, no retreating from the affection that had taken root between you, even if either of you had the desire to do so.

It wasn’t long before Daniel felt his end creeping in, his grip on your body tightened once more, and his hips began moving in time with yours, assisting you in reaching a climax of your own.

“I’m going to…” his words tumbled out of his mouth as if he were a drunkard, and you could see him fighting his release in the way he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. “Darling, I’m about to-“

“About to what, your Grace?” you purred as you continued grinding against him, “about to make good on the promise of all those children you mentioned earlier?”

Daniel’s eyes went dark for a moment, and you admonished yourself for enjoying it so much. But before you could think twice, the Duke began thrusting upward into you, causing a choked cry to ring out into the room. It didn’t take much before both of you crescendoed, a spew of various sounds of appreciation sounding like an angels chorus floating above you. Daniel used your waist for traction, pulling you down onto him one more final time as the last of his release filled you up.

You went to collapse onto his slightly sweaty chest, but the Duke had other things in mind. Rolling both of you over to your sides without pulling out, he began stroking into you from behind, wrapping you up in his hold and pulling you flush against his body.

“Daniel,” you whined, and he quieted you with a kiss to your temple. Your hand searched out for any part of his body it could get its hand on, settling on the round of his bicep.

“Do you want to stop?” He questioned, though his tone lent you to believe that he knew that stopping was the last thing on your mind.

“No,” you shook your head adamantly, Daniel chuckling at your eagerness, “I do not want to stop. I never want to stop.” A choked cry escaped you as you met his thrusts, “I want to do this with you forever.”

Forever was indeed a vast expanse of time, yet with Daniel, it began to feel scarcely sufficient. The love blossoming between you was intoxicatingly sweet, almost addictive in its allure, and you found yourself yearning never to be without it again.

Daniel placed a ghost of a kiss on your shoulder blade before his strokes became more intentional, “then forever it is, my wife.”

Taglist: @jakekiszkashangnail08 @josh-iamyour-mama @freyjalw @gvfsstardust @peaceloveunitygvf @positivegvfthings @traffic-was-a-b1tch @heheheheheheheurmum @musicislove3389

[landslided]

do you have any fic recs / favorite fics you’re willing to share with the class 🫶🏻

hi anon!! yes, of course!! i have a ton of fics i adore that i would love to share with you! actually, im a serial bookmarker on ao3 so if you want to check those out, definitely go take a look over there but for the sake of this ask and because i want to shout out works that i adore, here is a non-exhaustive list of gen and lawrusso fanfics i live for!

The Recidivists by @vimesbootstheory is a lawrusso fanfic set a few years before the show’s actual timeline and following daniel’s journey as he goes to prison for a twenty-month sentence. his cellmate happens to be a certain johnny lawrence. it is my absolute FAVORITE fic right now, i am so happy every time i get an update. the writing is phenomenal and daniel is sooo realistic in this, i love him so so much.

Fight Like a Man by @miyagi-hokarate is a gen fic exploring dutch’s character and the reading of him as a trans man. it’s beautifully written, it’s a really interesting take on the character and it’s a must read for me.

A Means, A Way, A Plan by an_sceal is a gen fic exploring johnny’s mental health after season three and before that, during his childhood, his teenage years and young adulthood. it’s absolutely heartbreaking and it made me cry three times reading it. you should however READ THE TAGS!! i like fics that sometimes talk about difficult or dark themes and i don’t want anyone to end up reading something that upsets them so read the tags before you read any of the fics i recommend!

ordinary things by @toothpuulp is a lawrusso fanfic that is a the piano teacher AU. yes, the piano teacher by michael haneke. if you’ve seen the piano teacher or if you’re familiar with haneke’s work you probably know what this fic is but if you aren’t i will just say that it’s a fic that explores daniel’s desires, his repression and his trauma. it’s a fic that i’ve become totally obsessed with in the past month and that i’ve reread five times. it’s violent and sensual and just so brilliant i cannot even express how insanely good it is. once again do definitely read the tags and also read the author’s note but goood, i love this fic. it will also make you feel things for daniel larusso that i can only compare to like, shrimp colors.

lost my head in san francisco by GoldStarGirl is a lawrusso fanfic where johnny and daniel both bring their students (aisha and miguel vs robby and sam) to a competition in san francisco but their plans end up getting a little messed up by an earthquake and daniel and johnny have to team up and actually act like adults. it’s funny, it’s sweet, the kids are great in this. just mwaaah.

Race to the Bottom by kbaxter is a lawrusso story about infidelity, babyyyyy!! these men are NOT working through their issues and they are making it everybody’s problem!! they’re emotionally STUNTED and they have to fuck it out! a great fic by a great author whose other fics i also adore!

last night i had a dream by shortcrust is a lawrusso slice of life fanfic that i love dearly. it’s super sweet, super funny and it makes my heart do funny things every time i read it.

gravestone flowers by menocchio is a lawrusso fanfic that is actually the sequel to another GREAT fanfic called bootstrapping. gravestone flowers is my favorite of menocchio’s objectively amazing lawrusso fanfics because they are DIVORCED AS FUCK!!! it’s basically a retelling of season one if johnny and daniel had dated for a long time before and then had the world’s messiest break up. i love this fic to death. you can read it as a standalone but i definitely recommend bootstrapping as well.

Boxed series by ezlebe is a lawrusso fanfic where johnny used to do porn modelling when he was young and the kids find out… through daniel’s hidden stash of magazines. it’s funny! it’s hot! johnny is a wet dream! daniel has conflicting feelings! wonderful fic!

if anyone wants to recommend me their favorite fics, you’re definitely welcome to and don’t think that im not open to other things than lawrusso just because i have a one track mind, feel free to send me all of your recs! also!! if you’re a fanfic writer come recommend me your stuff!!!!

thank you for this ask and happy reading!

[bobs-secret-blog]

Loved by the hashiras- part 2

The first meet-up

Ok so part 2 is finaly here, it took me a while to come up with something, and i cant realy fit all the ideas in here so there will be a part 3 and 4 . Also read part one if you havent already, this was all a request by the lovely @danielle-marie ! Ok lets get to it.

This is it. You have made it to the headquarters where you will now meet your new colleagues. The infamous Hashiras.

You have always dreamed of meeting them and working alongside them, slaying and fighting demons with them. Looking down to your right you saw Kiriya looking right at you. Waiting for your approval and response. And with one last look into his eyes, you nodded your head for him to open the door.

A bright light shining into your eyes. It was a beautiful place. Filled with the greenest trees and clearest lake that had looked like a little swamp for frogs and little birds. And there they were. 

The 9 Hashiras and their master sitting before them. Oh, now you were nervous. They were looking at you! Oh lord, this is so embarrassing.  

‘Welcome back.’ said a purple haired Hashira. She had a butterfly clip in her hair and the haori she wore resembled a butterfly. 

‘ Now let's not get too excited. Welcome to the headquarters (Y/n). We are delighted to meet you.’ said a man who you had guessed was Ubayashiki. 

You had instantly bowed down onto your knees before him ‘Thank you so much for this opportunity master! I will always try to do my best as a Hashira’ your voice was uneven from the nervousness. 

‘ Its quite alright (Y/n), you were chosen by me after all. I thought about all of this for a while, you know? You are going to be the star Hashira. I have a house located for you just outside the headquarters, all your belongings are in there along with some food and furniture. It should be comfortable.’ 

‘ Oh that’s really lovely of you to do master!’ he chuckled at that before standing up. 

‘ Now if you would like to meet your new colleagues I will give you plenty of time to.’ 

‘Thank you master!’ and with that Kiriya and Kanata escorted him away, leaving you with pure anxiety. 

‘ Well that was one flashy entrance must I say! Quite exquisite!’ slowly turning around you to see who said those words you saw a big, tall man with white hair staring down at you. His big muscles and biceps leaned you to believe you were very tiny. Even though your form was alright.  

‘ I completely agree with you Tengen, she is very beautiful! I can see her helping me out in a mission or maybe even on something else’ said a man with red and yellow hair. Oh wow this made you blush. 

‘Don’t flirt with her dipshits, you're making her feel embarrassed. Introduce yourself first! Besides don’t you have 3 wives already Tengen? ‘the man who said that had scars on his chest and short gray hair.  

‘ A fourth one wouldn’t be much of a trouble; I would spoil her day and night! My name is Tengen Uzui, your future soon-to-be flashy husband!’ he stopped and kissed the back of your hand. Yep now you were feeling very dizzy. 

‘ I'm (Y/n) (L/n) nice too meet you I guess. But im not looking for a lover right now! But thanks for the offer tough I wish we can all just be very good friends!’ 

Everyone's smile twitched a bit at your sentence, poor you just wanted to be friendly, what did you do!? 

‘Well you must be tired aren't you (Y/n) ? I bet all that walking did a number on you!’ said a pretty lady with pink and green hair. ‘ I'm Mitsuri, the love pillar, it's quite nice to meet you. If you'd like I can lead you to your house!’  

‘ Oh that would be very lovely, thank you!’ 

‘ Um may I come with you please, id like to meet our new colleague’ this time it was a heterochromatic- eyed boy with masks on his face and the cutest snake you had ever seen.

You always loved serpents and reptiles like snakes, frogs, worms and lizards, especially lizards. You had begged your parents since you were young for a lizard pet, and finally, they bought one for your birthday.

A small blue tounge skink, you had him for 7 years now. You had sometimes taken him onto missions, hiding him in your haori. You had named him after your late brother Chikako. 

‘ Oh of course you can come, what's your name?’ 

‘ Im Iguro the serpent pillar, nice to meet you (Y/n). And this little guy is Kaburamaru.’ 

‘He's realy cute!’ you went on to pet the snake, it had licked your hand and leaned more into you. 

‘He likes you a lot.’ Iguro said with a slight blush. 

‘ Let's get going before the dark falls, wouldn’t want any troubles on the way.’ 

Right after Mitsuri had said that you began walking to your new home. It was maybe 10 minutes of walking into the woods, the house being very pretty, surrounded by wisteria trees and pretty bushes.

Making it into your house you saw it had a beautiful décor inside, and on the table was the tree where Chikako was sleeping.  

‘Oh my baby, thank God you're okay.’ 

‘You also like serpents?!’ Iguro asked with a big blush. 

‘I love them very much; they all remind me of family and friends.’ 

After some time Mitsuri and Iguro had to go back, but in the last minute, Mitsuri gave something to you. 

‘Have some Sakura mochi (Y/n), they are my favorite!’ Mitsuri said with hearts in her eyes.  

‘Thank you so much Mitsuri, I will be sure to enjoy them!’ and with that you had separated, closing the door with a sleepy sigh, walking to your bed. Not even bothering to shower as you go into your dreams.

[gridelincarver]

hey I trust u what are ur top 5 Iorveth songs 👀 im in a creative bind I need inspo (im also @essskel but u know that lmao)

oh my god HI

i know this isn't what u asked but like first off real quick lemme slide this link over... i have a iorveth playlist on spotify (it's meant to be listened on shuffle i know the order i added them is wack)

but uhh ok if i had to pick 5 (also in no particular order)

"Arsonist's Lullabye" - Hozier

"Wretches and Kings" - Linkin Park (i know its linkin park but if you look at the LYRICS)

"Thank You For the Venom" - My Chemical Romance (but i cant not also mention DESTROYA and our lady of sorrows)

"Daniel in the Den" - Bastille

"Satellite" - Rise Against

it PAINS ME to only pick five emblematic ones but i tried lskdghldksjf

(also bonus under the cut some pertinent lyrics. i could do this w the whole playlist and also write paragraphs & more but i am restraining myself)

This is a life that you can't deny us now

(Rise Against) self explanatory, i think, very scoia'tael

When I was a man I thought it ended When I knew love's perfect ache But my peace has always depended On all the ashes in my wake

All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep 'em on a leash

(Hozier) I think Iorveth struggles a lot with feeling like he's incapable of sitting down and being happy (and this lyric plays into how i think his relationship w Cedric went/ended), and the chorus is just very reminiscent of how alone he's always been even among his supposed peers, and also just the strength and power of his character

To save face, how low can you go? Talk a lotta game, but yet you don't know Static on the wind, makes us all say whoa The people up top push the people down low Get down, and obey every word Steady, get in line if you haven't yet heard Wanna take what I got, don't be absurd Don't fight the power, nobody gets hurt

Hear us now, clear and tall Wretches and kings, we come for you

(Linkin Park) I think this is a bit of pointed anger at Francesca Findabair (shakes fist) for acquiescing and betraying her own kind as if that will help any elves besides the few who actually got to dol blathanna, also the "wretches and kings" is reminiscent of "king or beggar, one dh'oine less" (also listen to the speech at the beginning and end of the song. it fucks)

I wouldn't front the scene if you paid me

Black is the kiss, the touch of the serpent sun It ain't the mark or the scar that makes you one

You're running after something That you'll never kill If this is what you want Then fire at will

You want to follow something Give me a better cause to lead Just give me what I need Give me a reason to believe

(My Chemical Romance) this goes w MY interpretation of him as someone who wasn't actually gradually made ready for being the face of a movement and instead having it sprung on him by his circumstance (of being the last surviving vrihedd officer), and his own conflicted feelings of nothing getting better while also refusing to give up or do anything else (also it literally says "serpent sun," nilfgaard anyone?)

And you thought the lions were bad Well they tried to kill my brothers And for every king that died Oh they would crown another But it's harder than you think Telling dreams from one another

Oh to see What it means to be free Of the shadows and the dreams That you claim to see

And felled in the night By the ones you think you love They will come for you

(Bastille) the beginning one is I think more self explanatory, and "telling dreams from one another" i think can be applied to all the people who have "allied with" and "helped" the scoia'tael only to really be working for their own gain (like nilfgaard, or even arguably saskia)

the "felled in the night / by the ones you think you love" to ME is more about Francesca Findabair (muffled yelling) and her decision to forsake the Scoia'tael completely from Dol Blathanna

Because we won't back down, we won't run and hide Yeah, 'cause these are the things that we can't deny I'm passing over you like a satellite, so catch me if I fall That's why we stick to your game plans and party lines But at night we're conspiring by candlelight We are the orphans of the American Dream, so Shine a light on me

This is a life that you can't deny us now

(Rise Against)

as u can see i have many thoughts about him all the time and this isn't even all of it for this set of songs but anyway :3

[smigglesisback]

1/3.

Im angry. So angry at men. Maybe because I’ve been having dreams lately of my past abusers in detail. I hate them, I hate me at that time, I hate the situation I walked into many times as a 13-24 year old girl, I hate the sound of their voices, I hate the way they walk, the way they force their bodies and ideas on me. It’s fucking disgusting. I didn’t have a single pleasurable or consensual act of sex until I was in a long term relationship at 21. And even he got me fucked up on xanax and stoned out of my mind and video taped himself having sex with me while I was blacked out. I only saw the video a year later a realized what happened, realized what someone you have a child with, love, protect, and care for could do to you in your most vulnerable state. It’s a feeling you can’t describe, watching someone you trust violate you, watching my limp body being pushed around some blankets I wrap my 2 year old son in at night. I puked when I saw it.

That’s just towards the end of my abusive relationships. There are many more men that I dream about and cry about and hope to set on fire one day. Here’s what it’s like to really be a girl/woman of indigenous and Hispanic decent in a white mans world.

I realized being a woman was different from being a man when I was 5 years old, it’s my earliest memory. My much older brother was painting the porch outside in the summer and had his shirt off and I was hot too so I took my shirt off. My father immediately told me it was a bad thing to do that around any boy or man and to never do it again. I remember feeling like I was bad, like I was different, and more venerable. I was interested in boys and girls in my pre teens and everything was pretty innocent for me until I lost my virginity to a boy named “Robert”. He was the tallest boy in middle school and played football and everyone loved him. He tried hard for a while and I eventually agreed to meet him at his friend coles house. I brought 2 friends with me because I was afraid to sneak out in the middle of the night alone for the first time ever. We got to his house and he took my virginity on his friends moms bedroom floor. I don’t remember much after that or even how I made it home, I just remember it didn’t feel good and it didn’t make me feel any different or better. The next week he stopped talking to me and on my desk in my 7th grade science class was carved “Brenna has big tits and a hairy vagina” I felt fucking worthless, shamed, and violated all in one stroke of a pen. He told all his friends what my body looked like and how easy it was to fuck me. What a first huh? I moved away from that tiny Colorado town to a big Colorado town. I went to a military high school, I was a freshman and terrified. I was targeted by many older boys in that school. I was drugged and raped by 2 seniors my first 6 months in that school. They were nerds in my circle of friends and I never thought they would rape me or make me play a drinking game with them. I had never drank before and they had me take 3 shots back to back of jack daniels. I remember the room spinning, the green couch, the grey window well with no light peeking through, I remember the cold bathroom floor, I remember my colored hair extensions being ripped out of my head and scattered on the dirty rug, I remember being sore, being scared. I remember “joe” and his friend from a different high school fighting over who gets to be in my pussy, the only clear image I have is him pushing the other one aside and saying”move the fuck over, it’s my turn” joe took me home on the back pegs of his bike and I climbed in my window. It was Sunday morning now and I only know that because my mother came to get me for church and I told her I couldn’t go because I was sick and she watched me run to the bathroom and puke everywhere until I passed out. That was my first time being raped, I was 14 years old. But that wasn’t the last time I’d be raped that year. In the school I was in you could continue to take classes there until you are 21 years old. I’m going to call him “John.” He was in my circle of misfit friends, I was a weird goth girl and he was a much older man who could buy me cigarettes and had a car. I went to a house party with my girlfriends and “John” was there, he waited until the party died down and told me to come drink with him, but I didn’t drink anymore because of my last experience with alcohol so he got me stoned instead. We were sitting on the couch alone in the living room and he put his arm around my shoulder, then moved it to where his hand was around my neck, he then pulled his penis out and pushed my head towards it. I didn’t want to upset him, he was drunk and I was high so I did what he wanted and then walked out of the house and walked the mile and a half at 4am by myself back home until I crawled in bed and cried until I fell asleep. This was possibly the worst year off my life every day freshman year I walked past my abusers in the hall, EVERY. DAY. The only respite I had was that they didn’t tell anyone what happened because they knew it was wrong. Joe and John never spoke to me again. After that I was a mess, I was sneaking out all the time, running away from home, trying to escape the reality of my life. My home life was difficult at best.

[holdingontoheadache]

Hello, my darling friend! I’m sorry for my recent absence, the holidays and all that you know?

I’m not sure if you’re still on your vacation but if so, I hope you’re enjoying it! If you’re no longer on vacation, how was it? What were the highlights of your time away? I didn’t get any snow where I am! It did get down to the teens though which was cool but it’s already back up to like 60F so it was nice while it lasted and of course it’s always nice when you make it out of the unusually cold weather without any burst pipes or major power outages so I’ll take it as a win! Also, I’ve acquired Hail Mary and I’m so excited to read it! However, I’ve got to finish reading the fellowship of the ring and I’ve got 372 pages left so I dont think I’ll get to Hail Mary until sometime in January!

I am taking about j&j yes!!! I have to admit, I got a little weepy seeing the pictures of them. Jenna was/is my favorite YouTuber and has been for like four or five years and I adore Julien with all my heart and keep up with him when I can with his streams. They are my one and only “celebrity” couple and I’m just so happy for them. They both looked so happy and seeing him talk about his wedding and how he’s a wife guy now was just so very sweet. And no, I dont think I’ve ever had mango! I’ll have to give them a try when I can!

I’ve not seen Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man! I keep meaning to and I always forget! Which is so funny because I just rewatched Tobey’s Spider-Man movies! Absolute classics. I’m really surprised you’ve not heard of glass onion! I guess it just shows the bubble I’m in online but it’s the second movie technically to Knives Out if you’ve seen it! If you haven’t, I highly recommend watching Knives Out and Glass Onion! They’re mystery movies that have the same detective in them, Benoit Blanc, and in their world he’s like the best detective in the world and he’s played by Daniel Craig! They are some of my favorite movies for sure. Also the cast for both movies are amazing!

I’ll definitely send a pic of my tree and all the other stuff we talked about me sending pics of in January when im no longer on anon!! Oh, that reminds me! I’d still love to see pics of your bags when you get the chance if you’re back home! I know this is a shorter message so I hope you don’t mind! I’ll be doing a speed round then sending this off to you! I hope you enjoy the last few days of 2022!!!

Speed round: is there an era that you like more than others when it comes to aesthetics? I feel I love the 70’s aesthetic/fashion/music etc as well as the 80’s!! Which I suppose I get from my parents who grew up/were born around then!

I know this is very basic but I can’t remember if I asked you your favorite color(s) so I’m asking now!!! For me I’d say my favorite colors are brown, green and blue!

Are there any weird food combos you enjoy? When I was younger my cousin had me eat Mac and cheese with ketchup… and I did enjoy it. However I don’t really eat it anymore unless I have one of those little Mac and cheese cups and even then it’s kinda rare that I still eat that. I do like spicy stuff with something sweet like I’ll eat hot chips with strawberry yogurt sometimes if I’ve got both.

Do you tend to dream when you sleep? I used to not really dream but I think the past couple years I’ve dreamed quite a lot more than before! I know just last night I had like three separate dreams because I tend to wake up in the night tossing and turning before going back to bed and sometimes a new dream will start!

Do you have an inner monologue? I’ve seen some people say they don’t have a voice in their head for thoughts and etc! I do have my voice in my head when I read or think etc. also are you able to picture things in your head easily? Like when people say “picture an apple and make it rotate” is that something you can do? I kinda can I think? It’s always hard to explain because I picture things when I read I’m pretty sure and afterwards when I think about things I’ve read I can picture the scenes but I can struggle to when it comes to creating faces and making an apple rotate in my mind. It’s a weird thing to ask but I’m pretty curious because everyone has different answers!

What do you do to calm down/relax? I tend to take a hot shower if I’m in a mood/want to relax. Or I try to do things I know will give me a pick up. Sometimes spending time with people helps or even just time with a pet in my room watching tv.

Are you more of an indoor person or outdoor person? I like to think I’m a good mix! I really do enjoy being outside when it isn’t too hot and I’m not being devoured by mosquitoes! But that can be a struggle to find the right time to head out for some fresh air! When the weather allows me to I do enjoy being out in my backyard to read or out in my garage with the door open to just hang out somewhere that isn’t technically inside. I do spend quite a bit of time inside though and need to work on being out in nature more.

I hope you’re well and enjoying this last week! Sending love and good times! ❤️

-🎉❄️

Hiii, hun! Happy Friday!! Hope your week has treated you well thus far!!

Sadly, I’m back home in the cold. I really enjoyed my time in PR this year for the holidays. I’d do it all over again next year if I’m able to! Highlights? I’d say the concert I was able to attend as well as spending Christmas Day at the beach and just enjoying the sun!! It was really nice to see other people outside of their homes and just enjoying the holiday like any other day!!

That’s good to hear that it never got that cold in your area!! Up north, a lot of pipes froze in my area, but luckily not ours. 60°F sounds like luxury when the highest it’s gotten this week was about 35-40°F!! You’ve obtained Project Hail Mary? Woop woop!! January book club!! I have to get back into reading it so I don’t fall behind lol. I tend to be a relatively slow reader, but if I’m really into a novel, I can get through it relatively quickly so let’s see!! (One of my resolutions for 2023 is to get through the stack of books on my desk that have been staring at me for almost 4 months 😅).

You haven’t seen the Spider-Man movies with Andrew Garfield? Okay, now you have to lol!! I think they’re pretty good and the way Andrew portrays this universes Peter Parker is kinda neat. To be frank, I haven’t heard of a lot of things lol. It wasn’t until very recently, I saw multiple posts on my feed about Glass Onion and how good it was that I now have to make time to watch it!!

My multitude of miscellaneous bags? *rubs hands together* alright here we go!!

As you can see, I have a preferred character lol. I’ve cut back on buying them only because there are still many of them I haven’t worn/used. Which, I’m okay with. Just waiting for the right day to wear them!!

Speed Round Answers!!

Preferred Era? To be honest, I don’t really think about eras too much because I don’t have much knowledge of them. I’d probably say the 90s only because of my limited knowledge of the time.

Fav. Color? It ranges between yellow (sunflower yellow) and purple; pink had also snuck its way in there!! Recently though, I’ve really liked the color orange (tangerine orange or that range between orange and peach in color)!! Idk man, I think all colors are cool in some way!! I think it’s just the artist in me 😅.

Weird food combos? Okay, so awhile ago, I’ve tried to explain this to my friends, but they think I’m weird for it. When I was younger, my mom would make what’s called “farina,” which is essentially hot cereal/oatmeal almost, but not quite. Anyways, I would have that with unsalted crackers and butter because it kinda balances out how sweet the dish would be when combined with unsalted crackers and the saltiness of the butter!! Idk how else to explain it lol. It just works. So I’d say that. Hot chips and strawberry yogurt? Now that’s a weird food combo!! But if it works, it works.

Do I dream? Oh, definitely!! The other night, I had such a weird dream about this dude that I didn’t recognize who had a crush on me and tried everything to convince me to go out with him. All while my family is also hackling me to give this guy a chance because he’s such a nice person and, apparently, I had dated him before in the dream and he wanted to prove that he had changed from the last time we apparently dated. It was a roller coaster of events and from what I can remember, he was kinda good looking so I was a bit convinced lol. This was the first time I’ve remembered a dream pretty well in a long time.

Inner monologue? Oh, definitely!! I always think about it as an initial gut reaction to situations! I want to say I can picture things in my head very well, but I find it hard to put what I think in my head as a 3D concept in front of me at times!! It’s almost like I want to make something how I initially picture it, but once it doesn’t look how I imagined it, it discourages me a little to want to keep going, if that makes any sense. I’ve mentioned it before, but going into this new year, I want to try and get back into art again without having that initial monologue keep me from doing so. It’s been soooo long.

To calm down/ relax? Hmmmm… depends on how I’m feeling. Most of the time, my go-to is listening to music/having a particular song on repeat. The monotony of it helps me fall asleep. Other times, I watch YouTube and have it in the background until I fall asleep. A hot shower truly does help to reset the body to help it relax!!

Indoor/outdoor person? When I was younger, I loved being outside!! Find any excuse to do so!! Nowadays, I’d rather be inside cause I feel like I’ve gotten lazy over the years. I want to try and be outside more and try to take in my surroundings as much as possible. There are many things I wanna do, but never seem to make the time for it .-.

Hope you’re doing good as well, love!! Send all the love and positive vibes your way!! Until the next one ✨

[alwysblue]

i am feral, unhinged and depressed AS SUCH its time to bless tumblr w my hc’s (evil laugh)

okay so.

daniel is 8 years older than max. he was 26 when he REALLY met an 18 year old max who was fresh faced, young and aggressive.

i’ve always felt like daniel has always been very conscious about this age gap between them. like. he alw becomes visibly wistful or upset when someone brings it up. its like.. he doesn’t like being remind of it. especially when it came to max.

we also see this w lando and their interviews w mclaren— but its different with max. its always different with max.

and of course, max is canonically fine with big age gaps (see: interview where he says as long as they’re not as old as his mom). but daniel..

NOW IN MY HEAD,,,,,,,,,

daniel, being 26 and somewhat more self-aware and wiser, KNEW all along that this kid had a crush on him. i mean.. teenaged max was a different kind of unhinged and feral lol.

and of course daniel harboured feelings for max as well and its taking daniel every inch of his self restraint to stop himself from acting on his feelings.... he wouldn’t.... he couldn’t take advantage of max like that.

to him, max was young and he didn’t know what he wanted yet and he’s not even sure if he’s gay. BUT THIS ALSO MAX and max would jump into anything and everything all at once if he knew daniel felt the same way.

and with that being said..

for all his communication issues and all,,,, max makes the first move on daniel. he kisses him in some rooftop at night and it tastes like the beer from their plastic cups and its all he’s ever dreamed of and more.

and holy fucking shit. daniel was. okay wow he was drunk, he’s just had a shit race and his younger teammate is slowly replacing him in rbr.

said younger teammate just kissed him.

he said fuck it and kissed him back.

AND SO as every maxiel fic goes, they start this friends w benefits relationship. and its all fun and games.

then its 2018 and max is 20 and daniel is 28

max looks at him, and daniel knows that look

before max even realizes it, daniel already knows that max is in love w him.

daniel knows he loves max too.

and everyone is talking about how much daniel has changed max as a racer and as a person generally

but you see, for the last 3 years, max has grown WITH daniel and daniel knows that max needs to grow WITHOUT him

how could max do that when they literally live in each other’s pockets on track and off track?

so its 2018 and daniel is leaving red bull

and its december and theyre in that same rooftop where max kissed him for the first time.

AND U KNOW THAT ICONIC FLEABAG SCENE WITH FLEABAG AND HOT PRIEST.. yeah

max says he loves daniel.

daniel says that it’ll pass.

they both know it won’t, and yet here they are.

part 2 is here!!!

WHAHAHA (evil laugh)

i always think about how max OUTGREW daniel and they both know that this was what was best for max.

age gap is also a really good angst plot point that i dont think many authors really explore into.

anyways i wish i could phrase this brainrot better BUT IM WATCHING QUALI RN WHAH

brainrot w me!!! my asks are open 💥

[bsaka7]

for the ask game!! (as always feel free to do/change whatever u like w this prompt haha)

pairing: pierre/charles

au: time travel

lyrics: i'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy / oh, oh no, oh no! - are you satisfied by MARINA

im a family jewels lover first and an f1 blogger second. thank u for this and sorry it took me a hot second!! i went into a writing trance for 2 days and then emerged and have proceeded to do nothing but play minecraft...anyway this isn't a COMPLETE match to the lyrics but i DID listen to the song the whole time so hopefully this ticks some sort of box! under the cut!

Charles falls asleep sometime after seven AM the day after he wins the World Driver's Championship. When he wakes up, he's not in his bed. He's on some uncomfortable couch, and when he looks up, everything around him is Red Bull themed. He wonders if this is a prank. How much did he drink last night?

He remembers lifting the trophy high over his head and hugging Mattia and being congratulated by Lewis and Daniel and Carlos (perhaps fallaciously) and Pierre and so on and so forth. He remembers doing shots with his brothers and after that it gets a little bit blurry but he's fairly certain he didn't do something stupid enough like fly to Milton Keynes, sneak in, and fall asleep. And if he did do that, he would definitely have brought both his trophy and the team's trophy with him. Just to rub it in.

He swings his feet over the couch and sits up. He hears voices coming from the next room over, some French and accented English.

Someone is asking: Who are you?

A familiar voice responds: I'm Pierre Gasly.

Charles recognizes his voice as soon as he says his name. He remembers talking to Pierre about this, on one of their last true vacations before Pierre got called up to Toro Rosso and Charles went on to win Formula Two. Pierre sounds young. Charles knows this conversation happened at the beginning. When belief wasn't yet resignation.

The first voice, a woman asks: What are your goals?

Charles has heard the answer a million times. He has said the words himself: To be a Formula One driver and to be a Formula One world champion.

To believe you are going to win means you have to believe you are the best. Charles has worked hard to mold himself into a champion. Pierre has had worse luck. A team that didn't support him, a demotion and a stagnation.

Charles knew the last question the woman would ask: What are you going to do to achieve these goals?

Pierre's answer is the same as Charles' but with a certain determination, borne of a different kind of steel: Anything it takes.

Charles sits and waits and eventually Pierre stumbles into the room with him.

"Charles?" he asks, confused.

"Pierre," Charles says, frankly, equally as confused.

"Did you hear everything that went on in there?"

"Not really," Charles says, truthfully. He had nodded back off. "Just that you're going to win a WDC." He smiles. He wonders why Pierre doesn't notice he's different. It breaks his heart to see Pierre like this, young and freckled. A child, still.

Pierre looks down at his feet. "I don't know that I can actually do it," he confesses, quietly. "But I want to, so badly. What happens if I don't?"

Charles hugs him and then listens, the day after his first World Championship, to Pierre's dreams.

--

Charles wakes up again, sometime in the future. This time, he's outside and it's raining and the park bench has left his jeans dirty. He sits up, out of instinct. This is really the freakiest dream Charles has ever had.

The rain is cold, dripping down the back of his neck. He stands up to go see if he can find a place to shelter. It seems like it's barely dawn. Apparently time runs funny in these dreams. There's a figure hurrying down the street, tucked under a black umbrella. He's wearing blue and red. Charles wonders why his dreams have decided to torment him with the motifs of Red Bull.

The man gets closer. "Pierre!" Charles calls out, before he can stop himself.

"Charles?" Pierre says, stopping in front of him. Charles pauses. Something is wrong. Pierre's eyes are rimmed with red and he's slightly unsteady on his feet. He's wearing the garb of Toro Rosso. He's too young. He's the same amount of miserable.

Pierre doesn't seem to realize anything is different. He rushes into Charles' arms, wrapping him up in a hug. The umbrella bumps against Charles' head and sends more water down his back.

"I thought this would be it," Pierre says. "This was the dream, and here I am."

"You're drunk," Charles says, softly. Pierre is really drunk. He can smell the reek of

"All I want to do is win," Pierre says, his voice hiccuping.

"I know," Charles says, his hands tight on Pierre's back, rubbing small circles.

"When will I win?" Pierre asks, stepping back slightly and fisting his hands in Charles shirt. Charles holds on to his arms, as if they're a lifeline for them both. "I'm never going to win. I've sacrificed my whole life, look at me."

"You will," Charles says, confident with the time of ages. It hurts him to see his best friend hurting. He's watched Pierre win.

Pierre shakes his head. "You don't understand."

Charles thinks of his trophy, held aloft. He holds Pierre to his chest. He thinks of his assertion that he would do anything it takes to win. He'd ruin himself. They both would. For one of them it counts.

"I know."

--

Charles opens his eyes, the third time, and he's dizzy. He's in someone's arms. For a moment, he thinks he's still on the street with Pierre, demoted and drunk, but it's not raining and he's inside, music pumping around them.

He steps back. The hug had already gone on too long. He looks up and it's Pierre. He's older this time, rather than younger. Time hasn't treated him kindly but he still looks like Charles' best friend. The love of his life, maybe, glittering under the club lighting.

"Sorry," Pierre says. He's drunk again. "You're the first one I've told. I can't -- after the year without the drive. Even with the wins this season. I can't do it anymore. I can't keep pretending I'm happy in the midfield." He clutches at Charles, swaying slightly. Charles puts his hands on his hips as if they're dancing instead of talking. Breaking down.

"Okay," Charles says, because he doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know this Pierre, yet.

Pierre shakes his head. "Sorry," he says, "I shouldn't be so maudlin on the day you tied it up in the points. I can't help it." He grins, weakly. "I always want more."

Charles' puts his hand on Pierre's.

"Me too, Pierre," he says. "Me too."

--

Charles wakes up with his trophy to his chest and shakes his head.

The only thing he wants is to win again. He looks over, Pierre snoring on the other side of the bed after passing out at the end of the night. To win, and Pierre too, maybe.

No one every does get everything they want. And it's only the rest of their lives.

[wishful-soda]

HI IM HERE A BIT LATE BC I HAD A CRAZY NIGHT LAST NIGHT BUT I READ IT AND I MUST SHARE MY LOVE OF THE CHAP:

God it absolutely was worth the wait there was so much to take in 😭

Daniel thinks about her enough to have nightmares about her being with other men. but suuuuure he hates her obviously

When he calmed down and put his head in her lap i cried that’s like. my dream and so precious 😭😭😭

Also. i think you’re perfectly walking the line between they’re getting closer and more real but they’re still under the facade of enemies so that’s why i was so happy when he made a joke and licked her tear! I know we will get super real eventually in this story but you’re just perfectly balancing the line of soft emotional relax chats and them being their teasing enemy selves. How do you manage it so well???

And yeah the mirror scene just…. yeah it broke me. I love the detail of him finally grabbing and intertwining her hand at the end but that ALSO mirroring them having intertwined fingers as they’re falling asleep…. like she said “don’t trust things said during sex” but they had them hands intertwined DURING and AFTER sooooooo

Lastly anyone who feels the need to say smth to someone when they’re asleep is in love with them it’s the rule…. god he’s gonna struggle so much with charles but i CANT WAIT TO SEE IT

anyways LOVED THIS SO MUCH i can’t wait for the next chap!!!!!

OMG HI MY LOVE. ITS OKAY, YOU’RE HERE THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS.

I’m so glad you think it was worth the wait 😭 I worry about that so much when I’ve been away or taken longer than I want to between posting.

Putting his head in her lap was just so like adorable to me but also not too intimate y’know? Like it was something small and simple to just give you all the feels. 😩

Okay you’re a literal angel, saying that I’m perfectly walking the line and managing it so well just made my night 😭 I seriously could cry when people notice the things that I put a lot of thought into. I honestly think it can’t just be enemies to lovers. I think enemies to friends to lovers is the only way. They have to get friendly first before they can look at it beyond sex. At least that’s just my thoughts!!

I also love that you caught that!!! You’re exactly right, it’s like she doesn’t give much thought to those gestures during sex but he’s giving her a little inkling of that outside of sex now and it’s going to for sure start messing with her 👀

Omg you’re so right, that is the rule. And you’re right bby, he is going to struggle SO much with Charles 😬 again with this vibe

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR ASK LOVE!! I always look forward to your thoughts and they always make me smile and give me the warm fuzzies so thank you 🙏🥰 and I know I’ve said it a million times, but ILYSM!

[rjhpandapaws]

Something Familiar

Chapter 2: Lessons in Good Faith Tw: PTSD and mentions of torture and death

Living with Daniel was a lesson in many things. A lesson in patience, trust, and it was a constant trial in checking is biases. Daniel was one of the few good humans, and Silas’s fear still ran unchecked. He knew it would take time to work through all of his baggage, and that Daniel was willing to wait. The thing was that Silas wanted to trust him, but couldn’t because there was still too much in the way. Daniel had even given him space after they sealed the contract. Silas bore the mark of it on the inside of his left wrist. A small circle of red, yellow, and blue lining. Daniel had the same on his left wrist as well. It marked them as equals, but it still felt like imprisonment to Silas. He was grateful for the week alone though. It gave him time to get used to his human shape again. He spent a lot of his time on the upstairs balcony watching the world go by with out him. Being outside like this was something he hadn’t been able to do for years. He would have preferred to change shape and wander, maybe even fly; but he was still on the mend and under strict orders not to shift unless it was an emergency. Daniel wasn’t here to stop him. He could have run away, and yet he stayed. Like a good Familiar.

When Daniel came back Silas’s private moments gained a witness, and his nightmares gained an exit. Daniel was always gentle when he woke Silas. He made sure he was genuinely awake and then let him come back to the real world on his own. He would offer to listen and Silas would always turn him down. There were nights that were worse. Nights when he didn’t dream, but remembered. The sleep he got was always more restful on those nights, but waking up always hurt worse. He woke up buried under the weight of all the things he should have done; could have done if he was a better person. On these mornings the only thing he wanted was space to think. So he would quietly make himself coffee and head up to the balcony. Daniel always came up eventually, and he usually brought breakfast with him. He would set the tray down on the small glass table and take a moment to observe Silas. He never said was he was looking for, but Silas assumed he found it because he would go back inside after a while. As a healer it wasn’t in Daniel’s nature to leave things alone, but he seemed to understand that Silas needed time to himself every once in a while. It was something Silas was grateful for. Someday he would let Daniel in, he deserved to know what he had gotten stuck with.

He woke suddenly from a dead sleep and sighed. He could still see Connor clearly in his mind, the fear in his eyes as they were separated almost felt accusing now. He should have stayed. He should have done a lot of things, but he was a coward and ran away instead. Silas got up with a practiced silence and started on his coffee. The house was still dark, but he had the kitchen layout memorized. By the time his coffee was ready he could use the early rays of dawn to make it up to the balcony. Today was going to be long and painful. He leaned against the front railing of the balcony to watch the sunrise and let his thoughts run loose with him. If he got it out of his system now, then maybe he could be something close to composed by the time Daniel came up to check on him. So for now, he would let himself remember. They were good things at first. His childhood, play fighting with his brothers. Learning the importance of the ancient magic they carried with them. The rush of freedom that came from knowing a thought was all it took to become any creature he wanted. The sacred bind that came with choosing a patron mage. There was a complexity that came with choosing to be a Familiar. It was a bond based on sharing strength and it lasted a lifetime. Different from a contract.

He remembered the day everything changed. The day the world as he understood it would come to an end. It was a normal day, he and his brothers woke up and did their chores, but never made it back to the house. Traps had been set in the night and each of them fell victim to one. He remembered waking up in the dark and in pain, surrounded by everyone from his village. All of them had been taken. They were given a week to recover and adjust to their new life before the Conditioning started. Each of them was branded with a unique number. Something that could be used to find them in the event that one of them escaped. The ones that the Conditioning worked on disappeared. Bought by mages that believed them to be Creature Familiars. Those who didn’t take to the Conditioning were tortured until they broke. It went on like this until their anger finally outweighed their fear. Their revolt; if it could really even be called that; was a failure in Silas’s opinion. So many of them had died. Freedom for the few of them that had made it out was paid for in the blood of those who hadn’t. Silas had taken his new freedom and run to the nearest mage. Signed it away in exchange for survival. Even if Daniel saw them as equals; Silas had still done the exact thing they had fought so hard to be freed from. He would have almost rather having died. Almost.

He could feel Daniel’s eyes on him and had the feeling he wasn’t going to be able to get out of this one without talking. He knew Daniel wouldn’t ask outright, but would linger until Silas said something. It Gave the illusion that he had other options; but if he wanted to be alone he would have to say something. “There were three of us, you know, that made it out.” He began and did what he could to keep the emotion out of his voice, “Me and then two of my brothers. I lost them in our mad dash to get out, and now I don’t know if they’re even alive.” He tried to blink away his tears, but they only rolled down his cheeks instead, “After everything we’d been through; I couldn’t be bothered to stay. I ran away like a fucking coward and sold myself out in a desperate bid to survive. Some fucking brother I am.” Daniel was quiet for a long while. This was the most Silas had ever ‘willingly’ said to him. “In a few weeks you’ll be healed enough to handle mildly strenuous activity.” He said eventually, “We could go looking for them if you would like.” Cold heavy dread settled in the pit of Silas’s stomach, “Why?” He snapped, “So you can add them to your collection? So you can have the complete set of the last shapeshifters known to man?”

“No.” Daniel replied sharply, “So you can have some damn closure and a place to stay once the contract is up. I actually want you to be safe, believe it or not.” Silas flinched. He knew Daniel wasn’t the same as the other humans he had dealt with, but he was still afraid. He set down his mug of long forgotten coffee and breathed out a defeated sigh. It was too early in the morning for a fight. On top of that, Daniel hadn’t done anything to deserve this. The contract was a means of protecting him. He understood that. “I’m sorry. You’ve been nothing but kind to me, and yet I still fear completely offering you my trust.” He said after the silence had long since grown uncomfortable, “You may very well be the only human with my best interests at heart and I keep pushing you away.” He took a deep breath and tuned to face Daniel, “I’ll think about it, but that is asking a lot of faith from me; and for now, I think I would rather be alone.” Daniel looked away from him and his shoulders slumped, “I understand.” His voice was almost level, but hurt lingered just beneath the surface, “I’ll be in the house if you need me.” Silas watched him leave and wondered if he should have been gentler. It wasn’t Daniel’s fault he’d gone through all that, but he had nothing else to do with all his anger. Burying it clearly hadn’t helped. 

He picked through the food Daniel had brought up for him and tried to gather himself a little more. Daniel didn’t deserve to bear the brunt of his anger. He wasn’t responsible for what was done to him. He was the only person that was trying to help. The least Silas could do was give him the results he wanted. Even if they were fake. Time to see if he could even manage to be a convincing liar. The sooner he seemed well, the sooner he could get out of here. He didn’t know where he would go, yet, but he was sure he would find his place eventually. On top of that Daniel wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. He could go back to whatever it was he had been doing before Silas had come crashing into his life. It was late in the day when Silas had gathered enough of himself back together to handle being around another person. He didn’t say anything to Daniel when he came back; because he looked busy, and because he simply didn’t feel like it. He got to work on the dishes so he would have less to do later in the evening. “I’m sorry Silas.” Daniel broke the silence after a while, “For this morning. It was insensitive and out of line.”

The laugh that hitched and bubbled it’s way out of his chest was bitter and humorless. It surprised him, this was the first time he had laughed in years. “Was it?” He asked coolly, “Are you rescinding your offer to help me find my only remaining relatives then?” “Well, no.” Daniel scrambled, “I just; I wanted you to know that I meant no offense by it.” He explained and Silas relaxed some, “I feel like I’ve messed something up, and I want to know how I can fix it. I hate seeing you so upset.” “It’s a matter of learning to trust you.” He said and looked down at his hands, “My whole life up until now has been spent in fear of humans. I just have to keep in mind that you haven’t posed a danger to me yet. Sorry for being so... defensive, I guess would be the word.” “You’re alright.” He replied kindly, “These things take time. Even at that, you have a lot of trauma to work through and-” “Daniel stop.” Silas interrupted, “I need someone to listen to me, not psychoanalyze me. Believe me, I am well aware of all my trauma and the power imbalance of our dynamic. I really don’t need the reminder.” “Right.” He agreed with a sharp nod, “It can be difficult to turn my doctor off sometimes.”

“I understand.” Silas replied as he leaned against the counter to face Daniel, “It’s the only way people will acknowledge you, so it has become your primary mode of existing.” He watched with mild amusement as Daniel’s jaw dropped, “You’re more than that to me, you know. You’re the closest thing to a friend I’ve had actually.” “First of all, ow.” He said with a laugh and put his hand over his heart, “Secondly, what happened to not psychoanalyzing each other? I’m glad you think of me as a friend though.” Silas smiled, and it felt strange after not having done so for so long, “I figured that you’ve done it to me enough times that I deserved a turn.” “Fair enough.” Daniel replied as he began to put his things away. “How many weeks?” Silas asked once his curiosity got the better of him, “Until we can leave?” He was quiet for a long while before he replied, “Six, if you mind your limitations; eight to twelve if you keep ignoring them like this.” His smile fell away, “That was a lot more than I was hoping for.” Daniel just shrugged, “You’ve been stubborn. Agitating your old injuries and coming back from your little excursions with new ones. You need to rest.”

“Fine.” He said as he made his way to the bookshelf to go through the travelers’ guides, “I’ll be a better patient from here on out.” He settled on his bed with the books he had grabbed, “Six weeks should be enough time to find a place to start.” “Of course it will.” Daniel replied with a gentle smile Silas felt like he hadn’t been meant to see. It was finally time to venture out into the world. He just hoped they found Connor and Richard before anyone else did. If he lost his brothers he wouldn’t have anyone left. There was no way he could survive that.

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[oookaline]

Miss You - Lyric Analysis

by me because im bored.

yet again because whats more fun than going over lyrics for the 2736843th time? Absolutely nothing! and if you thought of something, you're lying to youself

So, miss you was a song released in the 8th of December 2017.

Some backstory before.

ObViOusLy, the whole babygate thing, add a lil cherry on top with the Elk split up (23rd march 2015 - 2 weeks prior) and them getting back toguether in 2017 (17 Feb). All of this aswell as Danielle and Brenda in the middle of it.

K with all the smol context under us we can already look around and see that just by the title 'Miss You' people had speculated it was for Eleanor, and since Louis said :

I wrote this song about a time in my life when I was going out partying every night. In hindsight throughout that time I was pretty numb and just going through the motions. Deep down it was always in the back of my mind that what I really missed was the girl that I loved

which obviously links the song to two occurences:

Babygate: 'was going out partying every night' (since we know for a fact he literally went partying every week)

The split up from Elk

but the thing is right- lmao Danielle just danielled away. No mention whatsoever.

This, all of this, and JUsT that quote that Louis gave us already destroyed like- half the narrative of 'Really good friends w an oops baby' and (obviously) just tarnishes yet again the 'engagement' route they were going to take. BUT IT ALSO leaves Danielle behind as if she didn't even exist!!

Which by the way things look, she might not've anygays.

The music video was made in LA

which again (If I could I would literally kiss louis brain) links it to Babygate.

Now the lyrics

verse 1:

"Is it my imagination?

Is it something that I’m taking?

All the smiles that I’m faking

“Everything is great

Everything is fucking great”"

Obviously we can literally hear the sarcasm on the last two lines. 'All the fake smiles' reffering to all the pap pics he did while the lead up to the Holy Conception. Aswell that him reffering to the scene as 'imagination' or 'something that he's taking' could emphasize that its so bad, so unreal that he thinks its a joke and that he's either too drunk or thinking it.

Going out every weekend

Staring at the stars on the ceiling

Hollywood friends, gotta see them

Such a good time

I believe it this time

Again, him reffering to him being papped every week on a club with the first line, the 'stars on the' ceiling reffering to the lights in night clubs, 'Holywood Friends' reffering to Annas, and specially reffering to Snoop Dog and his launch party, which was when this picture happened:

pre chorus:

Tuesday night

Glazed over eyes

Just one more pint or five

Does it even matter anyway?

One of the fucking smartest lines in my opinion, him reffering to tuesday. Which is him reffering to the day the first article of him being out partying came out:

The next are him reffering to what always happened; drinking and feeling shit. 'does it even matter anyways' is his subcontious trying to tell him to give in and just do what they wanted him to do, saying that it doesn't even matter because either way the end will be shit (and bla bla bla, but again, its his subcontious. not him.)

chorus:

We’re dancing on tables

And I’m off my face

With all of my people

And it couldn’t get better they say

the first two lines are ofc reffering to the feeling of being drunk, 'dancing on tables' and 'of your face' are ohrases people use to refer to drunken states. The 'people' Louis is reffering to is his escorts; people paayed to carry out what is supposed to happen that night (bodyguards, pr managers, paps, in cases the girls aswell he appears papped with), and the line 'couldn't get better they say' has both the connotation of this being the LA dream, of always partying, knocking chicks up, drinking to your hearts desire- aswell as having the connotation of 'his people' telling him it will not get better, so don't try to oppose it. (which links back to the previous verse 'does it even matter anyway')

We’re singing 'til last call

And it’s all out of tune

Should be laughing, but there’s something wrong

And it hits me when the lights go on

Shit, maybe I miss you

'singing til last call' refers to how late he spent in the clubs and 'out of tune' suggest again the drunk state. 'Should be laughing but there's something wrong' is again, elluding to that LA dream partying state that should've been what he was feeling, since that's what the media said. The 'lights go on' is reffering to the paps, when they take pictures (and obviously the miss you is talking about eleanor because he'd much rather stunt with her than be here lmao ) And yes, the miss you is reffering to Harry.

There doesn't have to be a reason and obviously it could also be a stunt line in the song- but let me explain what I think: We can see Louis' state by the end of the paps shoots, how he slowly just becomes VERY tired towards the last few ones. And keep in mind he was also touring with 1D WHILE HE PARTIED. Which meant it was Show-Party-Show-Party with things thrown between it aswell. Giving close to little time to spend w Harry.

(Pretty sure that's not at all what happened, its just what I think- it was such a fucking busy thing, I'd not be surprised if they both were stressed and not having enough 1-1 time)

Verse 2:

Just like that and I’m sober

I’m asking myself, “Is it over?”

Maybe I was lying when I told you

“Everything is great

Everything is fucking great”

First line reffering to how in the morning, next day of partying, he was again sober- for the shows- and him asking 'is it over' refers to how he just wanted it to be over with, all the patying and paps.

The two last lines could signify him talking to someone about his life- I'd say that the 'you' here does not mean Harry- but someone else- them asking "How's your life going" and then him going "Great Great, yeah- fookin great ykwim"

something along the lines of that you get me.

And all of these thoughts and the feelings

Chase you down if you don’t need them

I’ve been checking my phone all evening

Such a good time

I believe it this time

the first and second lines here are again, Louis talking about his subcontious; that 'this will turn on us' reffering to him and Harry. About a (probable) fear that this will make a strain in their relationship and stuff.

(a/n: kind of like how a lot of shippers unlarried while babygate was happening because 'louis couldn't cheat' or how a lot of shippers say they broke up during that time because 'Harry couldn't take the stress' and stuff)

Im not saying they broke up not that he cheated. What I'm saying is that there was a fear that this would make them break up- he says 'chase you down' which has the animalification of the wolves chasing down the pray to kill them etc.

Bridge:

Now I’m asking my friends how to say “I’m sorry”

They say “Lad, give it time, there’s no need to worry”

And we can’t even be on the phone now

And I can’t even be with you alone now

the first line links to what I said about Louis' subconcious; this would be that constant need to say 'I am sorry' for something that isn't his fault or something that he can't control, and then the second line goes on to say that he doesn't have to worry because, again, its not his fault and Harry undertands that.

Now the 'We can't even be on the phone now, I can't even be with you alone now' refers to their public appearance, on how other than that Paris interview there are no other interviews with just them two, on how we didn't get a Larry hour on 1Dday... It refers to them literally being unable to say anything to each other because of management.

Oh, how shit changes

We were in love, now we’re strangers

I WANT TO ALIENATE THESE TWO LINES BECAUSE OF HOW FUCKING LOUT IT IS.

this one links ti the last two of the previous, again on their public image (His and Harry's) about how they were once in love (fetus) but now they're strangers (the mortal enemies narrative)

When I feel it coming up, I just throw it all away

Get another two shots 'cause it doesn’t matter anyway

And to top off these last two lines of the bridge is him linking all of this back to the start of the song: 'is it my imagination, is it something that I'm taking' with 'when I feel it coming up, I just throw it all away'; when the thoughts that this is all fake and once he wakes up or stop imagining its all going to be better (aswell as with the connotation of over partying and vomiting) but at the same time him making himself stop those thoughts because he knows this is reality. And then round back again with the repetition of 'doesn't matter anyways' with it feeling like a dead end to him.

[really-sleep-deprived-nerd]

40.5-Non-threatening employee

Warnings: Definetely-not-completely-human-Cecil and not sure if it should count as a warning but I started listening to WTNV recently and I am on episode 43 so Im not catched up to current events

Summary:

The city council reminds everyone that demons are, in fact, not real, Carlos gets an interviewed by StrexCorp and Cecil would never under any circumstances go on a bloody rampage to exterminate every single employee of StrexCorp if they so much as touched a single perfect and soft hair of Carlos's head, no sir.

This episode was co-written with my sleep deprivation. Weather: The villain I appear to be (Annapantsu's cover) Written by Roma

In the face of our meaningless existence, being certain that death will sooner or later will come for us, what can a human do except to dream and to hope and to create?

Welcome to Night Vale

Listeners, you would not believe what a little birdie just told me, and by little birdie I obviously refer to intern Dave who turned into a talking sparrow after last friday's events that we are not allowed to talk about or remember.

He told me that our wonderful and generous owners, Strexcorp, decided that they will be interviewing dear beautiful Carlos today, to see if he would be a nice addition to their company or if he should...stop existing...

Oh, but not to worry, dear listeners, I know Strexcorp will realize soon enough that while perfectly imperfect Carlos cannot be bought, that is to say, wouldn't be a good fit for their company, obliterating him into nothingness would be a very, very stupid idea.

And as we all know Strexcorp, in their all-encompassing glory, does not have nor follows through very, very stupid ideas, and as I am saying this, I am looking straight at Daniel from management's eyes, who seems to be looking the tiniest bit nervous and afraid for reasons I cannot fathom but nevertheless I have a vague feeling are justified.

Just a hunch,  though. Nothing else.

Ah, Daniel seems to now be shaking as he desperately calls for Lauren to come to him. She has now arrived,  looking angry at being called away from whatever important task she was doing. Wordlessly he points at me and she looks into the booth. I smile at her and, if my teeth seem sharper than normal, I am certain it just a trick of the light, nevertheless she pales slightly but reassures Daniel that everything is fine and under control. Daniel clings to her arm and refuses  to let her leave.

Anyway, listeners, leaving this whole confusing interaction aside, the City Council wanted to remind you that: Demons arent real, especially demons that were created after some members of the City Council may or may not have realized inhumane experiments on one of old woman Josie's angels, who, they would like to emphasize, are NOT real either. Diana, the all-powerful shapeshifting demon that appeared yesterday disoriented in the parking lot behind the city council, is not, in fact, a demon, she is merely a foreigner shapeshifter that they encourage us to welcome into our town not because of an incomprehensible amount of guilt after what they did to her, but because she seems like a nice gal who, they think, will be a lovely addition to our town.

I, for one, will be happy to receive Diana with open arms, even if I will not be as enthusiastic as our local immortal sorceress,  Selena, who, upon seeing Diana, started waxing poetic about how her black skin made out of the void contained and reflected unknowable galaxies and was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, and about how her three eyes shined brighter than the moon and seemed to contain the universe’s most wonderful secrets and that she wouldn’t mind getting lost in them for the rest on eternity.

Ah, young love, isn't it wonderful?

In other news-Oh? What an... interesting development, listeners. Carlos has just texted me saying he loves me and that if he can't come to our date tonight that I should try to forget he ever existed with the minimal amount of mourning possible, as he doesn’t want to make me feel bad.

Mmh.

Going back to what I was saying before for a second, I say while looking at Lauren and Daniel who seem to now both be trembling in fear for no reason at all, Diana has been found to say, after Selena's never ending compliments and soft hands that hold her like she was something precious, that she might had Selena for only a day and a half, but if anything irreversibly bad happened to her, she would burn the whole of Night Vale to the ground in a search for bloody revenge, wanting to exterminate every single being responsible for harming her beloved. 

And that is a sentiment all of us that are lucky enough to be with someone can relate to, isn't it? While it is true that I had my beloved Carlos for far longer than a day and a half, that is still a sentiment that I can relate to very strongly.

Very strongly, indeed.

And now, The Weather.

Welcome back, dear listeners, Carlos just texted me telling me to disregard his last message and informed me that everything is fine now, the StrexCorp executives that were interviewing him received a call and suddenly decided that, even if he wasn't useful to them, he apparently wasn't worth the trouble of a vaporizing weapon and left him alone and unharmed.

In unrelated news, briefly before Carlos texted me, Lauren came by looking sickly pale and dropped a paper on my desk before getting out of the recording booth quickly, probably worried she would be interrupting the broadcast, how sweet and thoughtful of her!

The paper -in case any of you is curious- is a warning telling me that I am by contract not allowed to physically intimidate or otherwise put the fear of God on any of my superiors, which is a silly warning, really, I would never do that! 

Gosh, could you imagine me trying to intimidate someone? Me, with my glasses and a purple vest that has a pattern of kitty paws all over it? That's hilarious!

And on this lighthearted note, I must leave you, dear listeners, so I can go home and watch that nifty documentary Carlos and I have been meaning to watch for weeks now.

Good night, Night vale.

Good night.

[ofinkdried]

INTRO: MUN // TASK #001

hey all!! i’m slowly working on bios and pages and such but I wanted to introduce myself first -- so here’s what’s technically was the first task?? im using it as the template for my intro so HERE WE GO!!

PERSONAL INTRO

name  /  alias : victoria / tor gender  /  pronouns : cisfemale / she/her where  ya  from  ? : texas!! the  current  time :  4:29 pm height :  5′4 job  or  major :  unemployed at the moment, but I have a degree in health science/health administration & a national certification in phlebotomy pet  (  s  ) :  one doxie/beagle mix named Roxie favorite  thing  (  s  )  about  yourself :  my ability to remember song lyrics better than my own name any  special  talents  ? :  uhhhh I can play 4 ( 5? ) instruments why  you  joined  hqclouds :  FUNNY STORY care was talking to me about some Tea ( we’re in another rp together ) and she made a comment about running an rp and im a bit of a sleuth and found hqclouds and decided to join  meaning  behind  url :  it’s ‘ of clementines ’ because one of my favorite halsey songs is clementine and i’ve been on a halsey kick as of late  last  thing  you  googled :  ‘ fools troye sivan ’ because I wanted to send my friend the music video birthday  /  zodiac :  october 29th / scorpio in  your  opinion  ,  does  your  sign  suit  you  ? : some days myers  -  briggs :  I took it forever ago and don’t remember... ^^’ moral  alignment :  chaotic good hogwarts  house : ravenclaw!! three  fictional  character  (  s  )  you  see  yourself  in  +  why :  oh gosh.... katherine from newsies ( dedicated, doesn’t take a man’s shit), emma from the prom (nervous gay who plays guitar), and flynn rider from tangled (jokester, very in love with our girlfriends) i  started  roleplaying : 2012 I think? types  of  rps  i  enjoy :  definitely literate ones favorite  fcs  to  use :  I try to not reuse fcs a lot?? like I have some I prefer for certain characters, but I don’t have a strong draw to certain faces... fandom  (  s  )  you’d  like  to  write  in : musicals ( namely newsies ), fairy tail, the raven cycle fandom  (  s  )  you  aren’t  in  but  are  curious  about :  uhhhh I dont really know... share  a  funny  roleplay  horror  story :  oh gosh I dealt with one girl who like... constantly gaslit me as a player and my characters, would make me feel bad for not responding immediately, made everything about her characters, and then got mad when I called her out on it? and now she goes to a christian school and says that rp is ‘ the devil’s work ’ and I just... yeah. fondest  roleplay  memory :  I feel like the moment my now girlfriend and I realized we always do ships bc just had awesome chemistry and then started dating like, 4 months later. favorite  canon  muse  (  s  )  to  play : connor murphy ( deh ), gansey ( trc ), spot conlon ( newsies ), jimmy ( bandstand ), lucy heartfillia ( fairy tail ) favorite  original  muse  (  s  )  to  play : theo massard ( a boxer, jack barakat fc; had an AMAZING ship for him )  canon  ships  you  can’t  help  but  love :  CATRADORA. none of my other ships are technically canon : / trope  (  s  )  you  tend  to  be  guilty  of : tragic backstories, tough on the outside soft on the inside i  prefer  .  .  . angst  ,  smut  ,  or  fluff :  I wanna say fluff but I know care and megan will call me out bc I love angst more than anything long  or  short  replies :  mid-length pre  plotting  or  chemistry : chemistry leading to pre plotting! sentence  starters  or  headcanon  memes : both? I love discussing headcanons single  muse  or  multimuse  blogs :  multi!! gif  icons  ,  medium  gifs  ,  or  static  icons : typically gif icons, but lately ive been loving medium gifs grab  the  book  nearest  to  you  and  pull  a  quote  from  it : ok so I have no books atm bc im moving, but the first book on my phone is the dream thieves, and the line I see first is “ The Gray Man considered what it must’ve been like to live like that, always waiting for your door to be kicked in. ” what’s  a  quote  or  song  lyric  that  speaks  to  your  soul  ? : oh gosh, so many... “ I'm a walking travesty/But I'm smiling at everything ” ( therapy, all time low ), “ I imagine the tears in your eyes/The very first night I'll sleep without you ” ( roman holiday, halsey ), “ Am I the product of a problem that I couldn't change?/Got his eyes, got her hair/So do I get their mistakes? ” ( secondhand smoke, kelsea ballerini ) top  current  celebrity  crushes :  halsey, froy guiterrez, harry styles ( always ) last  movie  you  watched :  I think it was uhhhhhh miss americana on netflix? did  you  like  it  ? :  YES I loved it favorite  movie  (  s  )    of  all  time : 10 things I hate about you, newsies ( ’92 ) favorite  tv  show  (  s  )  of  all  time : she-ra, queer eye, fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood, gossip girl favorite  tv  show  that  hasn’t  ended : zoey’s extraordinary playlist favorite  series  of  books  /  novels  /  comics : the raven cycle, all for the game, the last song sports  team  (  s  )  you  rep : dallas cowboys, houston astros ( yeah I know about the scandal and I hate it, but they’re my team ), FAU owls ( my alma mater ) favorite  video  game  (  s  ) : breath of the wild, KH series favorite  youtube  channels : unus annus, daniel howell ( rip he hasn’t posted in a year ), the try guys, NPR Music, CrankGameplays ( ethans just a dork I dont even like gamer videos that much ) hobbies :  guitar, singing, being in zoom musicals ( im playing whatsername from american idiot for one in July and auditioned for a few others! ), reading what  are  the  three  non  essential  things  you’d  bring  to  a  deserted  island  ? : my guitar, my laptop, wifi put  your  music  on  shuffle.  what  six  songs  pop  up  ? : HOLD ME TIGHT OR DONT, fall out boy; I’m Still Here, John Rzeznik; Towers, Little Mix; Way Down Hadestown, hadestown obc; Stitches, state champs (cover); Look Back, betty who personal  aesthetic : nerdy punk?  dream  vacation  ? : disneyland paris or disneyland Singapore with my gf dream  job  ? :  music teacher dream  car  ? :  one that works at this point if  i  could  live  anywhere  ,  it’d  be : austin, texas ( im about an hour away rn ) favorite  musical : OH GOSH..... the prom, bandstand, newsies, hadestown favorite  food  (  s  ) :  blueberry pancakes, red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese icing coffee  order :  at starbucks? venti iced chai tea latte. at dunkin? large iced vanilla coffee. at home? french vanilla coffee and caramel macchiato creamer and 2 scoops of sugar.  unwatched  stuff  in  your  netflix  /  hulu  /  etc :  netflix: sex education, the umbrella academy, end of the f***ing world, the people vs. oj simpson. hulu: portrait of a lady on fire, my friend dahmer, rocketman what’s  a  subject  you  know  too  much  about  +  never  get  tired  of  talking  about  ? : I dunno? I have a ton of useless facts on a wide range of subjects. like did you know that in 100 letters, halsey says ‘ You wrote 100 letters just for me/And I find them in my closet in the pockets of my jeans/Now I'm constantly reminded of the time I was 19/Every single one's forgotten in a laundromat machine ’ and that’s actually autobiographical -- her bf at the time wrote a note and put it in a pocket of every pair of pants she owned, and she was still finding them months after the relationship ended, so she took all her pants to a laundromat and washed them so she wouldn’t have to see the letters anymore!!