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hoesformatt · 2 months

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LOW

“whatever you want, don’t call me”

“I need you to get the fuck out of my space”

“I’m fuckin, I ain’t making love no more”

chris smut/angst (first angst y’all), FOR THE CHALLENGE @annamcdonalds67 + THANK YOU FOR 1800?!?! WTF THERE’S 1800 OF THE FREAKS

toxic ex!dom!chris • poc!reader friendly

contains: oral (female!receiving), missionary, kinda angsty, pet names, no use of y/n

word count: 1.4k

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Booty calls, all the fucking time, does he never think a bitch is tired? He broke up with me two weeks ago just to fuck some lame ass blonde bitch that he was texting while we were dating. In his defence ‘It’s not cheating if I broke up with you before I even fucked her’. What type of fuckboy shit is that?

It’s the 6th call from a 3rd No Caller ID and I’ve had about enough of it, I shut off my phone leaving my device to charge on my bedside table.

I raced down my stairs, pulling down my shorts because my thighs were rubbing. I turned on the tv to take my mind off but I heard a ping from my iPad.

Shaye⛽️

how you been holding up bae

Give me a fucking break. I just get out of a relationship and she’s too busy trying to scissor me?

My stud-plug texted me for the millionth time of the week, can people get out my phone and mind their own business? I guess that’s my fault for telling her about my situation with my now ex-boyfriend, we were getting high and I got off topic or whatever. I debated on blocking her knowing that I can’t, cause as much as I display my tits to a store owner they weren’t going to sell kush to someone ‘underage’.

I was in need to disconnect from everyone by turning off my iPad rolling my eyes while grabbing an energy drink from the fridge.

In time, I got back on my phone having nothing better to do as I had already developed a headache. I scrolled through instagram being unamused by everything until Jana sent me a photo of a random girl. ‘I found her’, I knew I could count on her. When I first saw the blonde bitch on my ex boyfriend’s camera roll I sent the photo to myself then sent it to Jana to do her investigation skills.

I searched her profile and saw a bunch of bikini photos, picture of flowers and photos of herself. What does she have that I don’t? Cause she most definitely does not have these curves. I brushed it off and called it his loss because at the end of the day, he’s the one blowing my phone up.

Unknown

I need to talk to you

Don’t block me

I’m coming over

Who the fuck does he think he’s talking to?

I checked that the text was sent 28 minutes ago and I heard a car pull up in the driveway. I ran to the door holding the doorknob when he was unlocking the door. “I swear to— OPEN THE DOOR!”

“You better fucking leave!”

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR” He pushed the door with force sending me almost flying. He shut the door locking it behind him as I rushed to the kitchen shaking my head “I can’t believe this shits happening right now” I cursed under my breath.

“Did you miss me” His lips curled into a smile looking down at my ass before I turned around and caught him. “It seems more like you miss me, blowing up my phone and showing up at my door?” Our eyes were locked and tense along with the air in the room.

“I’m not sucking your dick.” Chris scoffed, walking towards me “so you’re gonna ride me?” I pushed him away the folding my arms looking at him with a ‘are you fucking serious’ face.

Unbe-fucking-lieveable.

“Go get that flat corny ass blonde bitch to ride your small dick” He raised his eyebrows being taken aback from my remark “that’s a new low for you ma, you know that’s not true—and I don’t want her, I want you” I laughed. I laughed hard in his face making him scrunch his face.

“You realised she didn't have what I got?” I continued to laugh “that’s what happens when you don’t appreciate what you have”. Fuck face. Chris clenched his jaw drawing a deep breath in before gripping my wrist, taking me behind the kitchen counter.

“Bend over” He ordered I sternly looked at him with a stone face “tell me that you want me to leave”. Chris stopped his actions waiting on my response. The healing part of me wants him to leave but I honestly want him to put on me, and good so I stayed quiet. “Bend over. Now” I let Chris spin me around and arch my back across the counter.

Chris yanked off my shorts, spanking my ass leaving a stinging sensation, then kneading it to ease the pain. He leaned over to my ear “you’re so beautiful mama” I slightly smiled at his compliment as he snaked his hand into my panties, rubbing my clit and feeling my wetness “this is the last i’m fucking you” he chuckled with cockiness.

“Get up on the counter baby, I wanna eat you out” I immediately climbed onto the counter, lying on my back and the cold granite sending shivers down my spine. The brunette pulled my thong to the side while he was going on his knees, inserting his tongue between my folds making me gasp.

The warmth of Chris’ tongue on my cunt made my back arch and he sucked on my clit. My eyes flutters close from all the pleasure and Chris twisted his tongue in pussy, cleaning up all my juices in one lick “I can’t get enough of you, can’t believe I let this pussy go” he began to push a finger deep into my cunt “Fuckkkk—” My moans dragged out from between my lips as I felt my climax.

I gripped on his brunette locks waving my hip towards his face while he placed wet kisses on clit. I gasped loudly as Chris sloppily licked off all liquids while they came out “such a sweet pussy that cums just for me” he kissed my inner thighs, the spots darkening.

Chris pulled me off the counter, carrying my naked body to my room, laying me on the bed with my legs spread open. He slid his tip across my wet, sensitive slit, coating the head of cock with my wetness.

Pressing his tip to my hole, he groaned entering my tight pussy. “You’re so tightttt” I tensed up the more his inches entered my cunt. Did he get bigger? My eyes began to water as I felt his cock hit my tensed walls “relax mama” his hand was on my stomach feeling for dick that’s creating a little poke. I took a deep breath, exhale trying to stop tensing as he began to thrust into me.

Hands gripping on my hips, small moans escaped my lips, feeling his length abuse my walls with every thrust becoming harder than the last. Chris lowered himself for lips to kiss neck then in the crevice where his forehead was on my pillow making our bodies collide.

I opened my eyes with Chris’ hair laid on my cheek realizing this was the closest me and him have ever been and kind of scared of it but he started to kiss my jaw as if he could tell what I was thinking “c’mon baby”

My walls tightened around his cock making it harder for him to ram into me. Instead he hit in a different angle hitting my g-spot “please Christopher, right there” I placed my nails on his back, scratching it up while doing. My breathes were laboured with the rush of my orgasm was about to come and his thrusts got sloppy up until I came and he did also inside of me

“Fuck baby” post-nut clarity hit me while Chris leaned in to kiss me and I shoved him away by his chest “get out” I said quiet but loud enough for him to hear “what do you mean—” he looked at me lost and confused “I mean get the fuck out my bed Chris”. I got out the bed naked picking up his discarded clothing from the floor of my bedroom.

“We can work this out baby you know this” He put on his jeans buttoning them up before looking up at my bare body “GET THE FUCK OUT MY HOUSE CHRISTOPHER, YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDN’T BE HERE” Chris backed up as I pointed to my door collecting the rest of his shit before leaving.

Worst ex, but great sex

tags: @lunariaxzz @chrissturniolosbitch @leahsbussy @luv4kozume @mattslolita @muwapsturniolo @idkwhosnyla @strniohoeee @iiheartstef @nonamegirlxsturniolo @ka1nani @1800chokedathoe @fuzzycupcakebeliever @mattgirly @love4chris @mattslutt @nicksmainbitch @luhsexcbihh @hearts4chriss @thesturniolos @junnnilieee07

#Spotify #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #hoesformatt #riyahspeaks #fan fiction #fan fic #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo smut #smut

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bloatedandalone04 · 8 months

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Screaming Whispers

➪the one where anakin is a musician and you’re his muse.

Warnings: rockstar anakin, modern au, smut, fluff, swearing to the max, pda, unprotected sex, hair pulling, praise kink, small corruption kink, size sink, his bands name is 'screaming whispers' which translates to 'sw' for short...like sw for star wars??? and i didn’t even plan that, it just happened, jealousy (brief), possessive anakin, fingering, oral (f receiving), soft dom anakin, choking kink

Word Count: 6.3k

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

The lights were blinding and his ears were ringing, but Anakin wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

He couldn’t see much past the flashlights on the phones and the stage lights that flickered in time with the drums his bandmate, Vinny, was currently pounding on. Live shows were always so much better than being stuck in a recording studio all day, because at least out on stage Anakin could let out all his pent up frustration and no one would bat an eye.

Actually, the way he got so into his performance and really gave it his all had his fans absolutely losing their minds as they, too, fell under the control of the music and the lights and the lyrics.

Anakin had only been in his band, Screaming Whispers, for just over a year now, but that was apparently enough time to get his and his friends’ names out there. One low budget album later and everyone knew about them, and really, Anakin had you to thank.

You are his high school sweetheart, and have been his biggest supporter since the day he told you he wanted to do something with music and maybe try to make it his career.

After writing countless drafts of songs that were all about you and his relationship with you, Anakin asked a couple of his friends who played instruments to rent out a recording studio to record one of the drafts he had actually finished.

Anakin was the lead singer and guitarist, while his friend, Vinny, played the drums, and his other friend, Theo, played bass.

It came out sounding decent and Anakin ended up editing it himself before uploading it to his burner account on Youtube, choosing some random photo he had taken of your hand holding his as the thumbnail.

Within a few days, the video only had about thirty views, and he knew most of them were from you.

When he had first let you listen to the song with a nervous expression gracing his features, he was worried when you didn’t say anything during the whole two minutes and forty six seconds it played for.

It ended and you turned to him, an unreadable look on your face before you were throwing yourself at him. He had never seen you so needy and desperate for him (unless he counted the very first time you and he slept together), and you spent the rest of the night loving on him because he had written you a song.

Your boyfriend of over three years at that point had actually made a whole song about you. How could you not tear his clothes off right then and there?

A few more weeks had passed when Anakin randomly decided to see how the video was doing. He was bored and you were at class, and he had grown tired of walking around your shared apartment on campus by himself.

When he clicked on the video, he was sure he had accidentally clicked the wrong one when he saw that it had gone from thirty views to ninety eight thousand views. It had over forty thousand likes and just under a thousand comments, all of which were praising him and the guys for how good the song is.

You once again jumped his bones a few hours later when he showed you it, muttering something about how you knew people would like the song once it got more exposure.

A month later, it had nearly a million views and Anakin was left to assume that the song had gone viral on a different platform that resulted in people searching the song up on Youtube. He didn’t go on TikTok or Instagram as he had no desire to, but was informed by Theo that the song actually did become super popular on TikTok and that was how so many people had found the video on his Youtube.

Since it had gotten way more attention than he had ever expected it to, Anakin quickly changed the channel name from ‘Manakin 246’ to ‘Screaming Whispers’. It was the first thing he thought of and both Vinny and Theo agreed to call themselves that if they were to ever record another song together.

Well, just a few days after that, the trio was contacted by a record label and a week later, they were signed onto Dynamic Studios as an official band.

It all happened so fast. Anakin was encouraged to finish and edit his previous drafts, and that was how he found himself recording a whole album with most of the songs being about you. Vinny and Theo helped out a lot with the songs, but insisted Anakin be credited as the lead songwriter, since the whole thing was his idea.

The album was called ‘Taking Back October’, and it had been streamed over three million times over various music sites. That, of course, resulted in a tour being booked, and that was where he is now.

A full year after uploading that song and three months of being on tour, Anakin could safely say he was meant to do this.

But the best part of it all? He had you watching him from your spot backstage, the biggest smile on your lips whenever he looked over at you from his place on the center of the stage.

From where you stood, he looked to be having the time of his life. He looked so in his element, so confident and comfortable, and not to mention unbelievably attractive.

You found yourself biting your lip as you hid away from the crowd. Part of you wondered how he did it, how he was so at home in front of thousands of strangers, but you supposed some people were just meant for the spotlight, and Anakin is definitely one of those people.

You definitely were not, as just the mere thought of stepping out onto the stage would send you into a full blown panic attack. And Anakin knew that, so despite him wanting to show you off to the world and to his fans - he couldn’t believe he actually has fans - he knew better than to shove you into the limelight like that.

For now, you were comfortable backstage, two lanyards around your neck that told everyone you were a guest on the tour, and that you were allowed backstage.

As you watched your boyfriend play and sing his heart out to his song Homecoming Queen, one of the stage crew members came waltzing up to you, a kind yet flirtatious smile on his lips. “Hi,” he said over the loud live music.

“Hi,” you called back, never taking your eyes off Anakin.

The guy looked down at your tour and backstage passes, a smirk growing on his lips. “You a friend of the bands?”

That made you glance over at him, and you were immediately uncomfortable at the way he was looking at you. “Something like that,” you answer, and it was true - Vinny and Theo had also gone to high school with you, but they were closer to Anakin, obviously - but the crew member didn’t seem too convinced. “I’m dating the lead singer, this song is actually about me.” You try again and watch as his eyes grow wide before he’s looking on stage and at your boyfriend.

He meets Anakin’s blue orbs, and right away you could see a hint of possessiveness in them, similar to the look he’d give other guys when they looked at you for a little too long back in high school.

The crew guy just backs away and leaves you alone, making you grin over at your boyfriend. Anakin just smirks before he is back to singing the chorus, all while never falling out of tune with the rest of the band.

Even though you were buzzing with excitement for what’s in store for you once he’s off the stage and you’d have him all to yourself, you couldn’t deny how attractive he looks on stage.

The show had been going on for just over an hour, and they would be wrapping up soon. Anakin’s skin was coated in a light layer of sweat, and the leather jacket he had been wearing when he had first walked out on stage had long since been discarded. His muscles flexed under the flashing lights as he effortlessly played his electric guitar and sang his heart out.

You were sure his throat was raw, but he didn’t stop, and the fans were loving it. You also couldn’t take your eyes off the way the muscles in his neck strained as he reached the higher notes of the song, and you had to press your thighs together to feel some sort of relief for the pressure that had been steadily building up.

After another ten minutes or so, the band wrapped up the performance and left the stage, leaving the fans still screaming in the stands. After Anakina picked up his jacket he tossed near the drum kit, he handed his guitar to the same stage crew member who had been talking to you, before he wrapped his free arm around your waist.

Your hands were barely touching either side of his face before he was kissing you deeply, the hand that held his jacket moving to grip your waist. Anakin pulled you closer to him, his adrenaline making his body ache for yours in hopes to find some sort of relief for the energy that surged through him.

“You were amazing out there,” you praised against his mouth, wanting nothing more than to poke your tongue out and run it up the side of his damp neck. “Like always.”

“Thank you, pretty girl,” he murmured, brushing his lips against yours before dipping his head down to kiss your neck. His hands bunched up the thin fabric of your loose sundress, the flowery print making his want for you skyrocket. “You look hot.”

You laugh, glancing down at the simple dress that seemed to turn him on as if it was the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. “You look hot,” you say back and brush his slightly wet hair away from his forehead. You had to crane your neck a bit to be able to gaze up into his blue eyes, due to the sheer size difference between the two of you. The physical evidence of just how different you two are, even down to your height, had you pressing your thighs together again.

He wore dark clothes, most of which are adorned with chains, and his left arm was showing off a steadily growing sleeve of tattoos of random things - a lightsaber, a couple quotes, more than a few vulgar images, and most importantly, an outline of a heart with the initial of your first name inside it on his bicep. His wardrobe consisted of jeans, muscle tees, leather and jean jackets, and vintage - though sometimes graphic - shirts. He wore black boots or converse to tie off every outfit, completed with a couple of wristbands, rings and his signature necklace chain with your initials on the small charm.

You wore light colors, dresses and skirts that allowed you to show off the soft skin of your legs. Your body was bare of tattoos, with the exception of an ‘A’ on the side of your left wrist. Gold and silver jewelry were always on your wrist or around your neck, and you often wore flats or sneakers that went well with the rest of your look.

It was a big difference between the two of you, one that had been there since you were both seventeen, and it was what drew you into one another to begin with.

He looked intimidating, scary, even, but you found out that he had the sweetest heart, and he had given it to you.

“I am hot,” he grinned down at you, and the double meaning had you shaking your head as he stepped away from you and placed his jacket over your shoulders. He looked you up and down, biting down harshly on his bottom lip as his hands found their home on your waist again. The black leather contrasted against your light dress in such a sinful way, Anakin almost let out a groan at the sight. “Fuck, I can’t wait to take you back to the hotel after this.”

The band was playing two shows in D.C., so their manager went out of her way to book them a hotel for the night. It saved them from sleeping on the tour bus, which was surprisingly difficult to do, and Anakin could usually fall asleep anywhere.

He once fell asleep sitting down with his back pressed up against a washing machine in the laundry room at your apartment while he was waiting for the load to dry. He probably would’ve been sleeping for at least another half hour, had another resident not woken him up because he was sleeping against the only available washing machine.

But, for some reason, Anakin found that sleeping on a tour bus was next to impossible, even though he was given the only double bed because he had you with him.

So, in an attempt to get himself tired, he would spend a good hour with you in bed once he and the band got back on the bus after a show.

He could only imagine how happy Theo and Vinny are at the fact that they won’t have to listen to the two of you going at it for at least one of the two hundred and fifty nights they spent on tour.

“Yeah? You excited to spend a night with me in an actual room instead of a bus?” You teased, wrapping your arms around his shoulders when his wrapped around your waist and pulled your body right up against his.

“I’m so fucking excited,” he answered, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips as the stage crew walked around the two of you to begin packing up the equipment. He leaned down so his lips were brushing against your ear as he whispered, “We can be as loud as we want. I can’t wait to make you scream.”

You refrain from moaning in a public place, ignoring how dumb that sounded when you thought about how loud you got on a tour bus that had only a single, thin door that separated yours and Anakin’s room from the other guys.

This man made you crazy in all the best possible ways. “Well,” you say back, tugging him impossibly closer by the hem of his white tee shirt. “What are you waiting for? An encore?”

Anakin groaned quietly, cursing under his breath when he felt your hand slide up the heated skin of his torso. “Fuck no,” he muttered, taking your hand in his and guiding you towards the exit door that would lead the two of you out to the parking lot. “I think if everyone in that audience could see just how good you look right now, they wouldn’t blame me for not going back out there and taking you to bed.”

You smirked a bit as he pulled you onto the bus with him and towards your room to indulge in a makeout session before he would give you the real thing once you got to the hotel.

A short ten minute drive later, and Anakin was painfully aware of just how hard he’s gotten since your quick encounter backstage, followed by your intense making out that took place on the bus.

Once his manager had given him the key to his room, Anakin pulled you along with him as he made his way to the elevator, pushing the button for the twelfth floor when he was in it.

He leaned back against the wall as the numbers above the doors increased with every passing second. His lips were on yours in messy and noisy kisses, his hands sliding down to lift the bottom of your dress up as if you weren’t still in a public place, and were probably being recorded because every elevator seemed to have cameras nowadays.

Once it stopped at the twelfth floor, Anakin easily picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, his hand placed firmly on your back to prevent your dress from slipping up and exposing you to anyone who might enter the hall while he carried you to the room.

He inserted the keycard for room 1209 with his free hand, before tossing it onto the table in the entryway. Anakin’s hands grip your waist after he sets you down and he turns your body away from him, his fingers sliding up your back and pushing your hair to the side. He unclasps the gold necklace he had bought you a few nights ago from a cute store you and he stumbled upon while you were out sightseeing.

Anakin gently sets the chain down onto the table as well and places a few kisses to the back of your neck before he guides you forward and towards the king sized bed. “Look at that, baby,” he murmurs in your ear, wrapping his arms around you from behind. Since you had discarded his jacket back on the bus, his lips had free rein over the skin of your shoulders and neck as he sucked a few light marks onto it. “It’s bigger than our bed we have at home.”

Home. It seemed like so long ago, when in reality, Screaming Whispers had only been on tour for three months now. Anakin planned on using the money he would get from the tour and the shows to officially move in with you, in your own house, not a student apartment that was on the campus of his old college.

You were still a student there, but had opted to get all your assignments done before the tour so you could save yourself from having to give up the school year.

Humming, you lean back against his body. “We still need to get our bags from the bus,”

Anakin sucked on the skin of your jaw as his hands pulled at the thin fabric of your dress. “I’ll get our stuff later,” he promised, sliding his hands up the front of your body, making chills take over you as he gripped your chest. “You look so fucking pretty, baby.”

You hum again, closing your eyes when you feel one of his hands inch lower and lower until it disappears underneath your dress. “Just for you, Ani,” you whispered as he softly rubbed your clit through the thin lace of your panties.

He kissed your shoulder in appreciation as his hand slipped past the lace, his ring-clad middle finger dipping into your heat. “Fuck, you’re so wet,” he nearly moaned, his free arm wrapping around your middle when he felt your body slump back against his. “So wet for me.”

“Ani,” you gasped quietly, moaning when he began to pump his finger in and out of you. The lace restricted him from going super hard, but he much rather preferred to work you up to that, anyway. “Fuck, it’s all for you. You looked so hot tonight.”

“You look hot, too, pretty girl,” he mumbled and removed his hand from your panties as he spun your body around so your chest was pressed to his. “I saw the way that crew guy was looking at you.”

You moaned quietly when his knee separated your legs, his thigh rubbing against your core through his jeans. “I said I was with you,” you weakly say, gripping his biceps tightly when his hands found your waist and began sliding your body up and down his thigh. “Said I’m yours.”

“You are mine,” he rasped, pressing a searing kiss to your lips before he gently shoved you away. The backs of your knees hit the end of the bed and you fall back onto it, your dress slipping up past your thighs and revealing the pastel pink lace that covered your core. “You’ve been mine since we were seventeen.”

You bite down harshly on your lip when he pulls the lace down your legs and drops it to the floor. “Oh, fuck,” you mumbled when he ran his tongue up your folds, eagerly collecting your wetness.

Anakin glanced up at you, his eyes narrowing at the way you were refraining from being too loud. “No, Y/n,” he says sternly, bringing a hand up to slide his index and middle fingers into you. “We have this whole room to ourselves. I want you to be as loud as you can fucking get.”

Almost instantly a loud moan escapes you when he sucks on your clit, your back arching slightly when he began to fuck his fingers into you. Those skilled fingers, the same ones that had so effortlessly played the guitar in front of thousands of people just a half hour before. “Fuck, Ani. Fuck,” you whined.

Anakin smirked against you, curling his fingers once they are knuckle deep within you. The calloused tips brush against your walls and make you squeeze your eyes shut, finding it hard to believe that a year before all this, the skin of his fingers was smooth and gentle as he only played guitar in his free time before he made a career out of it.

Over a year of playing it non-stop had hardened his fingers and was a blessing in disguise, as they had never felt better when they were buried deep within you.

“God, it feels so good,” you whimpered as he traced the letters of his name with his tongue onto your clit. “So fucking good, Ani.”

He hummed, sending vibrations up your core and making your mind go into a frenzy. “Louder, baby,” he softly demanded, moving back up your body and hovering over you while his hand picks up the pace a bit. “I want this whole floor to complain about us tomorrow.”

You were so turned on, you couldn’t even bring yourself to be embarrassed about the sounds your core was making as his fingers plunged into it repeatedly. Not that Anakin ever let you feel embarrassed about it, seeing as he prided himself on how wet he makes you every time he goes out on stage.

“I know you want it, too,” he continues as he stared down at your fucked out expression. “Admit it.”

“I want it,” you managed to say as his thumb began rubbing circles on your clit in time with his fingers. The coolness from his ring contrasted against your searing heat, making the knot in your abdomen steadily form.

Anakin smirked down at you, leaning in to run his tongue along the skin under your ear. “Want what?”

“God,” you groaned as he pumped his fingers in and out of you at a brutal pace. “I want everyone on this floor to know who makes me feel so good, Anakin. I want them all to complain about how loud we are.”

Anakin was satisfied with your answer, “That’s my girl,” and he leaned down to begin sucking various marks onto the skin of your neck, the sounds you were emitting going straight to his dick that throbbed against his jeans. He didn’t think he could ever get tired of hearing all the sweet sounds you made just for him, and had been making for him since you were in high school.

“Anakin,” you moaned, lifting your hips in time with the movement of his hand. “Please, please, don’t stop.” Your lips brushed against his as you begged him to keep fucking you with his skilled fingers.

He hummed, kissing you deeply. “You gonna come for me?” He asked, already knowing the answer as he felt the way you clenched around his fingers every time your walls sucked him back in.

“Yes,” you nearly whispered, a crease forming in your brow as the coil in your stomach was a mere few seconds away from snapping. “Please.”

“Come for me, pretty girl,” he requested, his voice deep and sultry next to your ear. “I want it all over my hand.”

You were unable to deny him his wish as you came hard, your thighs shaking slightly and your mouth opening to let out a long and loud moan. Your head dipped back into the middle of the bed, your fingers twisting tightly in the soft comforter as he slowed down the thrusts of his hand until you were whimpering quietly.

“Just like that, baby,” he praised, kissing you once before removing his fingers from inside you. He brings his hand up to his mouth and sucks the digits clean as he moves back down your body. Anakin licked a single strip up your slick core before standing up, smirking at the way your whole body shook at the action.

You weakly propped yourself up on your elbows, watching him pull his belt from his jean loops. He drops it to the floor, the sound of the buckle hitting the hardwood making your head swim with thoughts of what’s in store for you next.

“Take that pretty dress off, baby,” he said under his breath, reaching behind him to pull off the white tee and leaving it to join the growing pile of clothes on the floor. You quickly lifted yourself up so you were kneeling on the bed, your hands fumbling to tug off your dress. Anakin gives you a soft smirk at how obedient you always are for him as you tossed the dress off the side of the bed, kicking his jeans down his legs and leaving him in his tight boxer briefs.

You gave him a look that nearly had him falling to the floor as he moved forward and kneeled on the bed in front of you, making you crane your neck to be able to stare up at him. Your hands reach up and tug on the hair on the back of his neck, pulling his head down so his mouth could meet yours.

Moaning quietly against his lips, you arch your back when you feel his hands slide up to unclasp your matching pink bra. He pulled it from your body, leaving you completely bare to his lust filled eyes. He let out a low growl as his hands slid back down to your hips. “Lay back, pretty girl,”

You oblige quickly, laying further up on the bed and resting against the soft pillows. “Please, Anakin,” you whined as he rubbed his still covered dick against your heat. “Fuck me.”

Anakin groaned as he shoved his boxers down, gripping your thighs and tugging them up until they were draped over his. “I’ll fuck you, baby,” he promised, running his tip over your wetness and coating himself in it. “I’ll fuck you so good, make sure everyone knows who made you come.”

“Fuck, yes,” you gasped just as he thrusted himself into you without warning, making you reach out to grip his forearms. Still on his knees, Anakin began fucking into you at a brutal pace, pouring all his leftover energy from the show into the way his hips hit yours. “God, yes.”

Anakin gripped your waist tightly, his eyes drifting from the way your breasts bounced with each thrust to your face as it twisted up in pleasure. “Say my name,” he demanded, burying himself to the brim and pausing there.

Your body tensed up, your stomach muscles flexing as he kept your hips pressed to his. “Anakin,”

“Louder,” he ordered, repeating the action.

“Anakin!” You shouted, and it was followed by a string of moans as he resumed rocking his body against your own. “God, Anakin, you’re so deep. So deep in me.”

He grunted at your filthy words, the faint sound of the headboard hitting the wall making the whole scene look like it was straight out of a porno. “Fuck, you’re taking me so well,” he praised, reaching one hand up to pinch at your sensitive nipples. He felt you clench around him as he worked on hardening your peaks, his pace faltering just slightly at the tightness of your walls. “Always take me so well.”

“I love you, Anakin,” you whimpered, arching your back and pushing your chest up against his hand.

He groaned at your sweet words, placing his hands flat against the comforter on either side of your head from where he knelt above you. “I love you so much,” he said back, speeding up his pace. “I’ve loved you for four years now, baby.”

“Nearly five,” you reminded him with a cry of pleasure. “We’ve been together for almost five years, Ani.”

“I know, princess,” he murmurs, leaning further down to press his lips to yours in a gentle kiss, a big contrast to the way his lower body was currently destroying yours. “How could I ever forget about the day you became mine?”

“Best day of my life,” you mumbled when he leaned back again, digging his knees into the bed as he all but railed into you. “Fuck, you feel so good, Anakin.”

“You’re so tight,” he responded, making your stomach twist with a need to please him forever. You were vaguely aware of the loud smacking of the headboard now, and the way the picture that hung above the bed was tapping with each thrust of his hips. It only fueled your desire for him as your hands gripped the comforter once again.

Your previous orgasm rendered you a bit more sensitive than normal, so you weren’t all that surprised to feel that knot begin to tighten once more. “Fuck, you’re going to make me come again,”

“Yeah? You’re going to come all over me again?” He mocked slightly, only making your head swim with dizziness at how dirty the whole event is. “I want it. Come all over me, pretty girl, nice and messy.”

Your eyes rolled back just a bit when he reached one hand up to press his fingers against the base of your neck. A strangled moan escaped you as you clenched helplessly around him.

You didn’t think you would ever get used to how he was in bed, versus how he was out of it. He was sweet, kind and caring with you outside the bedroom, but inside it he was rough, loud and determined to get you off in any way he possibly could. The difference was almost too much to handle.

A few more deep thrusts later and your core was flooding around him, noisily sucking him in deeper and alerting him of your second orgasm. “That’s it, baby,” he praised, watching as his dick became even more coated in your wetness. It spurred him to speed up the pace so he could reach his own release. “Good fucking girl.”

“Anakin,” you struggled to say as your body shook with overstimulation. “Ani, come, baby, please.”

It wasn’t the first time he had you begging him to come in you, but it still had his head going fuzzy for a second or two, as well as made him twitch inside you. “You want it?” He asked through a clenched jaw, his neck muscles straining as he tried to hold off for a little bit longer.

“Yes,” you answered, powerless against his sharp thrusts as you took each one. “I want it so bad.”

“Fuck, princess,” he muttered, his pace slowing down as his own release flooded through him. With a couple slow thrusts into your greedy core, he fucked his seed deep within you.

He falls onto the bed next to you a few seconds later, his chest heaving and a light layer of sweat adorning his skin, mirroring the way he looked on stage an hour or so prior to this.

Anakin was a lot more drained now than he was before, and he knew that if he were to stay in bed for much longer he would probably pass out with you wrapped in his arms.

He lifted himself up and pressed a soft kiss to your mouth, murmuring an “I’ll be right back,” against it before he dressed himself in his shirt and jeans, grabbing the keycard on his way out to retrieve both yours and his bags from the bus.

The next day, after spending most of the morning wrapped up in the sheets together, you and Anakin finally decided to get up.

Kind of.

He was currently propped against the headboard, eating a piece of toast with you on his lap. His acoustic guitar he brought with him was placed in your lap as you softly ran your fingers against the strings, leaning back against his bare chest. You were nowhere near as talented as he is with the instrument, and you knew it would sound awful if you were to try and play it without his guidance.

“Mm,” he hummed when you plucked one of the strings at his request, tossing the crust of the toast onto the plate that was next to him on the bed. He would usually be more careful so there wouldn’t be any crumbs in the sheets, but he was checking out of the hotel before tonight’s show, so he decided to leave it to the cleaning staff as he knew they would be washing the sheets anyway. “That’s the B string, baby, not the D string.”

“And I’m supposed to know that…how?” You asked as he wrapped his arms around your middle.

“Well, I’ve only been playing guitar for the entire length of our relationship,” he teased as he placed his right hand over yours. He guided your thumb to one of the middle strings and gently brushed it against it. Of course, it sounded a lot better because he was the one who controlled how much pressure and the pace of your thumb against the string. “That’s the D string.”

You refrained from rolling your eyes at the cockiness in his voice as you strummed along the string again, this time sounding a bit better than before.

“There you go,” he praised, pressing a kiss to the side of your head as a reward. “That was good.”

You turn your head to give him a small glare. “You’ve never been a good liar,” you mutter. “Especially when it comes to lying to me, it’s why you could never get away with cheating.”

Anakin scoffed, “I would never,”

You shake your head with a dumb grin on your lips as he guides your fingers to strum the tune he had been going over in his head for the past few days. You let him take full control over the way he moved your fingers, noting the soft humming of an unfamiliar song leaving the back of his throat. “New song, Ani?”

He shrugged from his spot behind you, leaning down to press a kiss to your bare shoulder, your tank top doing very little to cover your skin from him. “Maybe,” he answers as he begins to kiss up your neck, not even needing to look down at the strings to be able to play them perfectly.

It made you a bit lightheaded, how hot and talented he truly is. “What’s it going to be about?” You ask, eyes glued to the way he effortlessly helped you play the guitar while also holding a conversation with you. His talent always surprised you, despite knowing early on how skilled he is with the instrument.

“You, obviously,” he replied and you rolled your eyes. “What else would I write a song about?”

“You’re too much,” you say and he laughs quietly, agreeing with you as he goes back to mumbling potential lyrics in your ear.

A few hours go by and it’s nearing the time for Anakin and the band to head onto stage. He smoothes out his graphic tee and smirks at the way you cowered behind the large speaker, eyeing him with your lip caught between your teeth.

“God, Ani, you look good,”

“Me?” He asked and reached his hand out to you, pulling you into his arms once you took it. He played with the end of your pink and white skirt, eye fucking you a mere few minutes before he had to go perform in front of thousands of people. “I bet Vin and Theo are so jealous that it was me who got to take you to bed last night, in an actual room.”

You loosely wrap your arms around his shoulders, gazing up at him. “I bet all your fans are jealous that it’s going to be me who gets you all to herself after the show,”

Anakin hummed lowly, pressing a kiss to the skin under your ear. “I’d be jealous, too, if the hottest girl took me home,” he rasped. “Or in our case, took me back to that stupid bus.”

You laughed, leaning up to press a kiss to his cheek. Since you had applied a cute pink lip to go with your skirt, a stain was left on his skin when you pulled away. “Oh, sorry,” you say and lift your hand up, but pause when his fingers wrap around your wrist.

“Don’t you dare try to wipe that off,” he ordered with a smirk. “I think it completes my look.”

And it really did. A black snapback was placed backwards on his head, a vintage shirt covered his chest and exposed his sleeve of tattoos, dark jeans with a few chains connected to the belt loops hugged his legs, and black boots gave him the daunting appearance of someone who was born to be on stage.

The pink lipstick mark only added to the whole thing.

“Okay,” you swallow harshly, stepping away once Vinny handed him his guitar. “Have a good show.”

“I love you,” he called out as he placed the strap over his shoulder. “I’ll see you soon.”

When he made his grand entrance, the crowd seemed even louder than normal, and you could only hope at least some of them were able to see your mark on his cheek as you hid behind the speaker and watched your boyfriend get lost in his element.

Series based off this fic

#anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker #anakin star wars #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin smut #anakin x reader #anakin fanfiction #star wars #anakin skywalker headcanons #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker imagines #hayden christensen #hayden christensen gif #hayden christensen icons #hayden christensen edit #hayden christensen imagine #screaming whispers #screaming whispers au

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joels-shitty-puns · 8 months

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The Key To Your Heart - Track 3

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Gif creds to @bestintheparsec

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 2.5K

Series List: Here!

Miss last chapter? Here!

Sorry this took so long. Work :( But I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think. :) Thanks for reading!

-Pedro's POV-

The warmth of the midday sun beamed through the window as Pedro glanced nervously at his watch. 12:55PM. Finally, he grabbed his laptop and lay down on his couch with a soft *flump*. He quickly typed in "The Jazz and AllyKat show" into the search engine and opened up the website for your interview, just in time for it to begin broadcasting live. He knew you wouldn't be visible, but he would be lying if he said he hadn't been waiting anxiously since they announced it two days ago.

He was interested in hearing more about you. Hearing your voice speaking instead of just singing. Hearing the passion and levels of expression you may portray. Do you have an accent? A high or low voice? A lisp or a stutter? A rasp? You were such a mystery to him and the world, yet your shared conversation over Instagram the other day was so heartfelt. He appreciated your candor and vulnerability, especially in show business.

He couldn't figure out why… but ever since he heard your song, he couldn't stop thinking about you. There was something about you that seemed to draw him in. He was impressed with your lyrics and swooned at your voice. That voice! But with everyone contemplating who you were and who you liked, Pedro didn't want to be another one of those people, making you feel pressured. But he was certainly curious.

The video began and he listened intently, not wanting to miss a single word. When your voice chirped a hello to the interviewers and listeners, his heart skipped a beat. He swore it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard. He was drawn to you and wanted to learn anything he could, so he listened, trying to keep his breathing as silent as possible to not miss it. Why am I feeling like this? We've only had one conversation. Why am I so drawn to her, especially when she's already in love with someone?… he interrogated himself.

The interview discussed your favorite color, animals, and books, which Pedro vowed to read as soon as he could get to a bookstore. You listed off your favorite films and shows. However, although you had a great taste in cinema, he couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment that none of his roles were on your list. Clearly it's not you she loves, so you can put that out of your head now. He should feel relief, but instead he feels hollow at that realization.

When asked who your best friend is, you gush about your guy bff. You talk about how much you love him. How cute and sweet he is. Pedro can't help but feel a bit jealous of this guy who you love so much. But he listens on, his heart perking up and bubbling over when he hears you finally explain that your best friend is your dog.

Not only does she have a dog, but he's her best friend. And the way she talks about him is so…adorable, he thinks, gushing over your shared love of the fuzzy animals. He wonders what your dog's name and breed is, but you refuse to answer that question from the interviewers, for fear that someone may recognize his name and breed, tying him to you. The interviewers make a joke on your paranoia, which you ignore and Pedro scoffs at, their lack of understanding poking a protective instinct inside of him.

The conversation suddenly rolls into celebrity crushes and his chest tightens. But before they can ask you, he hears the air horn signaling the amount of viewers. Although he's disappointed to miss the potential answer you may have given, he also feels that strange protective feeling over you again, making him feel annoyed at the interviewers, knowing your desire for privacy. His thoughts only shift into a possessive manner for a millisecond before Ally proposes the possibility of your crush potentially listening to the show. His heart and emotions are on a bumpy roller coaster and he's practically jittery at the anticipation. He's leaning in to hear your answer when the door to his house barges open and a frustrated Oscar Isaac walks in, complaining in Spanish.

Startled, Pedro slams his laptop closed and flings it towards the coffee table, nearly spilling his drink. He yells questioningly, wondering why his best friend is barging into his home unannounced. Oscar is fully in the living room now, hands on his hips and ready to rant again. But before he has a chance to continue his argument with Pedro, he squints. His eyes look to the laptop, then to Pedro, now standing and looking frazzled after jolting up from the seat. He looks at Pedro's face again, eyebrow raised questioningly, and points to the laptop. "Were you watching porn?"

Pedro is dumbfounded, and if he wasn't on such high alert, he would've thought to lie and say he was watching porn. Instead he blurts "NO, I was not watching porn." It sounded like a lie. Oscar looks again from the laptop to Pedro, noticing his flushed cheeks and giving him a once over from head to toe, looking for any tells, other than the blush and the panic. "Yeah right, you slut. Let's see then."

Oscar reaches for the laptop, and Pedro grasps for it too, just a second behind. Too slow. Pedro argues "I wasn't. Not that it should matter, seeing as I'm in my own HOME… alone. Or should I say previously alone." Pedro throws his hands up in frustration. Oscar just laughs. "Okay let's see what you're so interested in then, that you don't even hear me knocking on your door or trying to contact you." He cracks open the computer.

"You're watching…an interview?" Oscar looks at Pedro, confused at why he would be so wigged out over a talk show. "I told you," Pedro replies, pointedly. Oscar glances back at the computer again, his brow suddenly relaxing and his lips turning into a mischievous smirk. "Ohh. I see… This is that girl you defended in your interview, huh? Someone got a little crush?"

Pedro rolled his eyes and scoffed, trying to push away the warmth grazing his cheeks. "No. I don't have a crush. I was just looking for something to do and saw it pop up on my page…" Pedro rambled on, "plus it's just curious how much she's keeping a secret, you know? Everyone is wondering about these things." Oscar listened, amused, and Pedro continued. Please stop talking, Pedro thought to himself. "Plus I don't even know her. A crush? That's ridiculous."

"She doesn't know that guy in her song either and she managed a crush… and you defended it," Oscar said matter-of-factly. Pedro rolled his eyes, and Oscar continued. "Are you hoping her crush is on you?"

Pedro sputtered out a quick answer. "Please. She sounds young... it's probably on someone like Harry Styles. Why would she have interest in an old man like me?" Oscar patted Pedro's shoulder. "You're too hard on yourself." Pedro ignored him and continued, "plus you know how I feel about relationships."

"Yeah yeah…" Oscar continued in a mocking tone, hand pretending to be a sock puppet while he recited, "I don't have the time to properly grow a relationship, I don't want to get hurt, I'm focusing on my career…" Pedro ignored his mocking tone and simply agreed with the recitation. "Yes… now… Why did you feel the need to barge in here unexpectedly?"

"It wouldn't have been unexpected had you checked your messages. I texted you four times and even messaged your Instagram when I didn't get a reply," Oscar defended.

"You know I'm not a texter," Pedro disputes.

"Yeah, no shit, abuelito. How many messages are unread on your phone? 600?" Oscar banters.

Pedro hastily defended himself. "No! I call them back! And abuelito!? Really?" He tuts. "You're not far behind me, pendejo. Plus you know I never check my Instagram messages either. I hardly even log on. You should've called me instead."

"I did. Twice. Anyway, I wanted to see if you were still available to watch the kids later. Buuuut, after not hearing back, I just decided to check on you. Glad to see you're alive, and clearly just distracted." Oscar wiggles his eyebrows.

Pedro crosses his arms, ignoring Oscar's last remark. "Yes, of course I'll watch the kids. Go enjoy yourselves!"

"Thanks P. You're the best… and I know I'm picking on you, but I just want you to be happy. I think if you like this girl you should try and talk to her. Dust off the cobwebs of your Instagram and actually message her or something."

I already have… Pedro thinks, running his thumb across his bottom lip. "Thanks, man."

Oscar left with a friendly pat on Pedro's shoulder. "See you later tonight then with the kids!"

Upon closing the door, Pedro sped over to his laptop again, hopeful that your interview hadn't ended yet. Fortunately for him, it was still recording. He hoped he hadn't missed anything.

The interviewer named Ally spoke. "Nice try. You know who we're trying to find out about. Has he, the man of your dreams and star of your lyrics, contacted you at all? Will we see a romance blooming?"

Pedro's heart pounded so loud he feared he would miss your answer. If she says yes… his mind entertains, not knowing the answer to the rest of that thought.

You spoke, hesitantly, and he felt the protective urge creep over him again. He wanted to know the answer but he hated hearing you uncomfortable . "I uh… I have received a lot of messages, some of them from celebrities."

He swallowed hard, his breath catching in his throat.

The interviewers replied excitedly. "Yeeeeaaaah?????"

There's a long pause. The silence is deafening, apart from the booming timpani of Pedro's heartbeat.

You answered, so softly he almost missed it. "Yes. We've talked."

He stopped breathing.

"Did you tell him it was him? Did you admit you love him?"

"Absolutely not. It was just a nice conversation," you laughed.

We had a nice conversation…

"Will you tell us who he is? At least a description? An initial?" Jazzy asked, desperate for answers.

Ally chimed in "anything! We're starving here."

You giggled before answering. The most beautiful laugh he's ever heard. "I won't do that much, but I will say… he has brown curly hair... Gorgeous brown eyes… And he seems really funny and nice."

I have curly brown hair and brown eyes.. maybe it could be me, his heart offered the idea. I try my best to be funny and nice too.

It could also be Tom Holland. Or Dylan O'Brien. Or some other young actor, his self-doubt chimes in. But he also knew based on your eye color descriptor, that it wasn't Harry Styles, shutting down his earlier guess.

Ally lets out a huff. "That's a pretty broad answer but I guess it narrows out a few people.."

"Well we have another surprise. A way to narrow it down a little more…" Jazz proposes.

"Oh? What's that?" You replied. Pedro could hear the nervousness in your tone.

Jazz continued "I asked our tech to work his magic, and he managed to pull a list of our viewers during the highest number of people tuning in…"

Pedro's heart picked up speed.

"Then, since he's so good at working a computer, he was able to filter it further, running the names through the web and pulling out any celebrities. We have a list here and all you have to do is read through and say if he's on the list of viewers. The only ones who would know are the three of us. Of course if he's watching, he will also know if he's in the running or not."

You stuttered out, "o-okay.."

There was a long pause on your end while you read, and Jazz and Ally filled in the space with chatter.

Pedro sat, waiting nervously for your answer.

"Uhm… no. None of these names.." you finally answered.

His heart sank. It wasn't him. You didn't love him.

"That's disappointing," Ally answered. "I had really hoped he was listening. I'm sorry. I thought when we filtered through the viewers with our celebrity listener filter, we'd have some luck."

"It's okay.. he's probably busy or something.." you answered, though your disappointment was hard to hide. "Maybe he will listen later when he has time."

Pedro was logged in on his account. His name would've been on that list, and you just confirmed, without calling him out personally, that he wasn't the one you loved.

The interview soon ended and he closed his laptop with a sigh, flopping back onto his couch. He had hoped to message you and tell you he watched the video. But now he didn't see the point in it. You already knew he watched it, and you probably didn't care. He closed his eyes and eventually decided to try and ignore his feelings. You don't even know her. Don't be stupid. It's just a crush.. a stupid, hopeless crush..

Looking out the window, Pedro noticed the sun setting outside and glanced at the clock on his stove. Realizing Oscar would be back soon with the kids, he decided he needed to snap out of it. Put on a happy face before babysitting duty. He began straightening up the house and getting things ready before finally turning on a cartoon movie just in time for them to arrive.

Oscar greeted him, and sat the kids in front of the movie. He knew his friend well enough to see through his smile and know he was upset about something. But he also could tell Pedro needed some space to sort things out in his mind first before he was ready to talk. So he left the kids with a profuse thank you, and headed out the door, leaving Pedro alone with his thoughts and two small bundles of energy.

Unbeknownst to Pedro, you looked through the list of celebrity viewers, scanning for his name. But thanks to his friend's intrusion, at the time that they filtered the list, he was disconnected from the live video. He wasn't on the list you saw.

Kept busy with the kids, it wasn't until they were back home with their parents that Pedro was forced to think about his feelings. Maybe he would still message you either way. You probably needed more friends and allies in this business, and he did enjoy talking to you, even if he wasn't the one you loved. If you didn't want to form a friendship with him back, that was fine too. But he would try. Still, his disappointment was settling in his heart. He didn't realize how much he was starting to care about you until you said he wasn't on that list.

So with the shared belief that neither of you cared about one another, you both went to bed, you both felt heavy in your hearts, and you both couldn't help but feel light tears spilling onto your cheeks as sleep eventually took over.

Equally unknown to you, he was watching, and he planned to watch it again when the video was posted, just to hear you talk a little bit longer. Just to learn more about you. Learn the tiny personality quirks he could pick out from your voice. Things that make you who you are, until maybe he could meet you in person.

That's all for this chapter!! Thank you again for reading and let me know what you think.

Looking for the next chapter? Here!

Taglist: (Let me know if you want in!)

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x afab!reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x musician!reader #pedro pascal x plus sized! reader #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal rpf #a! wrote a fic #rpf #key to your heart

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melehound · 10 months

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141 + König getting nipple piercings for your birthday! GN READER!

Kyle “gaz” garrick

He was stressing about what to get you for your birthday like he knew he was goin got take you out for dinner but he just felt like it wasn’t enough you needed the perfect birthday gift

So he was thinking about what to get you and a nipple piercing post appeared on his twitter and suddenly he had an idea

He did actual research and thought about what type to get and how to take care of them etc

He chose horseshoe barbells he honestly thinks they are so cool but his friends clown on him and honestly it hurts his feelings a bit but honestly as long as you like them he doesn’t care

John “soap” mactavish

He wasn’t sure what to get you for your birthday so he asked gaz and he jokingly said “I don’t know mate, get your nips pierced or something”

He knew gaz was kidding but… it wasn’t a bad idea

So he he did some through research (one or two google searches) he thought it wouldn’t hurt too bad so he god hammered just in case (it hurt pretty bad)

He picked out a cute pair of barbells and he actually likes them maybe a little bit more than you he gets clowned on in the showers but he doesn’t care

John price

His algorithm on any social media he has been showing him nipple piercings for months before your birthday

He had given it lots of thought before getting them doing the appropriate research and finally getting them

He was actually pretty embarrassed before getting them and while getting them he was actually so surprised how badly it hurt he knew if would hurt but damn he got some gold barbells

Once they are done he shows them to you and your reaction made all his anxiety melt away he does not care what other people think he got them for you 🫶

Simon “ghost” Riley

He was scrolling through birthday gifts for your girlfriend ideas on google and he just saw it at the bottom of the list

He figures he has been with you in the relationship long enough to know your the one so he gets them for you and he already has tattoos so how bad could it be 🤷‍♀️

His anxiety was so high he could hardly feel it due to the adrenaline but after he left he started to feel it he got a fat

pair of silver barbells he really likes them and sometimes they catch on his shirt and give him a little jump scare

König

He desperately looking for things to get you for you birthday and low and behold his instagram algorithm shows him different kinds of nipple piercings

He’s always wanted some piercings but these ones were for you he had mass amounts of anxiety going in to the appointment the adrenaline helped the pain while he was getting them he got a thick pair of steel barbells

After he walked out of the appointment he was so relieved

But they are SO sensitive even though he got a type of piercing known for not catching they still rub against his shirts so he has to wrap his chest sometimes 😭

((✿: my new pfp is so cool 😈 it’s so on brand and cute)))

#cod x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x you #könig x reader #john price x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #141 headcanons #cod headcanons #john soap mctavish x reader

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perplexingluciddreams · 1 year

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Using the internet and technology with high needs autism

I have been trying to put this into words for a while, but due to the exact thing I am making the post about, it has been very difficult.

First of all, a short (ish - I am not the best at concise) background of me and technology: Used to play games on dad's phone, and later watch YouTube videos on family tablet (with parent restrictions). However, ability to navigate devices was very limited, and if something went wrong I just panic and give to an adult.

We used computers a bit in school for work and educational games. Every time we went to the "computer area" I would cry because I knew I wouldn't be able to find the webpage on my own, or sign in to something, or type in a word document. At these times in school, usually another pupil would just sigh loudly and then come and do the computer thing for me over my shoulder.

I had an MP3 player that I got for I think my 8 or 9th birthday. The only thing I knew how to do, was play music and google search. But I still didn't really understand what a "link" was, or how to find important information. We were supposed to learn online research skills in school, but nobody ever explained the most simple stuff to me, so I lack the basic knowledge.

I got my first phone at age 10. This was when I also first get Instagram, my first social media (parents set up for me). I was in a group chat for my school year, but the only time I put a message there is when mum asked me to ask a question, about a non-uniform day for example. Nobody interacted with me in there, and apart from the messages I don't know how to navigate the app. I posted a few pictures a few times, but only when someone else recommended, and I didn't interact online.

I have poor language comprehension, slow processing and take longer to learn new skills. My computer skills and especially typing skills are majorly behind my peers. I have slowly learned some skills allowing me to be even on Tumblr in the first place, but I still need a lot of support and it makes me very anxious. Part of my difficultly on social media, is the social interacting part. Mostly due to low interest.

But my biggest challenge is poor comprehension. I get very anxious and upset when I come onto Tumblr and all the posts I try to read don't make sense to me. Especially when the post is about a topic I care about - if I read it and I can't know what people mean, then I will just be very upset for the rest of the day.

Second biggest challenge, not being able to express opinions on important topics. Often, I can't even understand something. Then, I can't form an opinion because it's too complex. Or, I have an opinion, but I don't understand if someone agree or disagree with me from what they write.

I work so hard to gain skills and learn enough to even be here, and then all I can find about people like me is other people arguing about our existence. Want to express my frustration at this. To even write this post I had support from mum, and it takes all my mental energy.

It is true that I have low interest in socialising - direct impact of autism. So social media maybe not best place in the world for me, by default. But I still want to understand and be included. Not be treated like place to just ask "am I counting as high support needs". I don't understand even my own needs enough to answer this for myself - I definitely can't answer for anyone else.

A lot of my challenges, come direct from autism. That's just a fact. Wish it was easier, very often. But also wish it was easier online - I can't be part of outside community, only online.

I post here to express thoughts and feelings, that is also just what this post is doing. I did less big big edit on my words this time, wanted words to be closest to how I think it (don't think in words so not possible to show abstract thoughts direct, but closest to first translation).

#autism #autistic #nonverbal #nonspeaking #high support needs #nonverbal autistic #nonverbal autism #language comprehension #language disability #language disorder #technology #accessibility #from the chaos of my mind

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tarotwithlove · 2 years

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pick a card: november predictions

GROUP ONE: the sacred tower in the mountains, by melchior lechter / GROUP TWO: uranus and the dance of the stars, by karl friedrich schinkel / GROUP THREE: in search of destiny, by viktor kryzhanovsky / GROUP FOUR: birth of an idea, by norwood hodge macgilvary

reminder that this is a general reading and messages found here may not apply to everyone. take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and don't force anything if it does not fit

BOOK A READING WITH ME · INSTAGRAM · TWITTER · TIPS ♡ tips and feedback are very highly appreciated

DECKS USED ♡ the original rider waite tarot, the fool's wisdom oracle, the spellcasting oracle

GROUP ONE: THE SACRED TOWER IN THE MOUNTAINS, BY MELCHIOR LECHTER

cards pulled: five of pentacles (reversed), the high priestess (reversed), four of swords (reversed), the magician (reversed); the deceit fool: trust your intuition, the care fool: take good care of yourself, the petty fool: you are perfect just the way you are, willpower, confidence, peace, family, love

channelled songs: eighteen (end of my world) by key (“hurting others to not be hurt / i'm sick of myself so i block my ears again” · “a race is always win or lose / i would never see the end of my / end of my world with you”) · wokeuplikethis* by playboy carti, lil uzi vert · a trophy fathers trophy son by sleeping with sirens (“why are you walking away? / was it something i did? / did i make a mistake cause / i'm trying to deal with the pain / i don't understand this, is this how it ends?)

hey there group one ♡ november finds you at the end of a cycle that has been difficult and, at times, painful. one that came about at the hands of others.

a relationship has ended for you that you have been fighting for, for a long time. for some of you this is with a romantic partner, for the rest of you this is with a father or father figure. this person has lied to you, cheated on you or cheated you out of money and time. they have taken advantage of you, your trust, and your kindness, for a long time.

you feel inadequate, even more so now for the fact that you could not save them. but know that it was not your job to save them anyway. with november you will find that you have been granted with the opportunity to rest and realign with your truth after how much of your energy has been drained by this leech. secrets that have been kept from you will be revealed, and you will find that these are things you have intuitively known for a long time. this may push you into experimenting with your spirituality or with divination in order to ground you and help you find yourself and heal.

do not push yourself too far this month, however, as it is first and foremost a month of looking after yourself after a long period of neglect for the sake of others. yes, you will feel pain over having to let go of this relationship; over the love that you feel and the hurt that this person has caused; and in time you will need to fully address it. but now, as it is so raw, is not the time.

november will see you coming to terms with how love and family has always presented itself to you in your life and will find you redefining those constructs for yourself. it will find you finding peace within yourself.

move forward with strength this month and know that you are divinely held through your highest highs and your lowest lows. journalling will be helpful to you this month as you try to figure things out.

GROUP TWO: URANUS AND THE DANCE OF THE STARS, BY KARL FRIEDRICH SCHINKE

cards pulled: the queen of swords (reversed), the tower (reversed), nine of cups (reversed), four of wands; the soul fool: do what feels right, the wish fool: believe in your own heartfelt wishes, the tear fool: your tears heal your soul, the joy fool: enjoy yourself, the hand fool: keep it simple, good luck, forgiveness, strength, reconciliation

channelled songs: call you tonight by whitney houston (“the stars must be aligned tonight / i believe this has to happen baby / lightening had to strike to tonight / 'cause the two of us are finally meeting” · “feel like i know you from another life / it makes me wish i wasn't so pressed for time”) · i'm your baby tonight by whitney houston (“from the moment i saw you, i went outta my mind / oh, i never believed in love at first sight / “but you got a magic boy, that i just can't explain”) · shattered dreams by earl sweatshirt (“please, nobody pinch me out this dream”) · play god by kennie (“i don't hear the screams, only echoes / searching in the tombs and it's only you / hearing whispers of what, what you could've been / but is this even you or your play pretend”)

hey there group two ♡ november sees you isolating yourself as you try to cope with a relationship ending.

you may find yourself thinking that holing yourself up in your room or home will be better for you than spending time around other people, however it is community that you need in this time and not wallowing alone in your memory. this month will force you to remember this, with no actual growth occuring in this time and with you feeling as if you are stuck in the midst of a never-ending tower moment.

you cannot heal from this by spending all your time focused on your misery. you can’t say you want to get over this person or event only to spend six hours a day going through old messages and checking their social media. you want to get better but you’re not allowing yourself to because you feel that maybe by holding onto and waiting for them they will simply come back into your life and you can be together again. and, so, any pain and any healing would be for nothing. because why accept that it’s over when it isn’t, right? ...

your healing is blocked this month and only when you allow yourself the strength to be weak and vulnerable, will you come to see how much love is actually out there for you. don’t be too hard on yourself in this time, and forgive yourself for not being able to move on as neatly as is expected of you.

in this month, you will come to reconcile with someone from the past. i see a childhood or high school friend.

this person will approach you with romantic intent and you may at first be resistant to it because of how soon ago your last relationship ended. of course, at the end of the day you need to trust yourself, but i see this connection being incredibly fortuitous to you. even if only for the moment. there is no need to overcomplicate this connection but know that it will bring you new life and good luck. it will, essentials, revitalize your belief in love.

GROUP THREE: IN SEARCH OF DESTINY, BY VIKTOR KRYZHANOVSKY

cards pulled: page of swords, the chariot, ace of pentacles, knight of cups; the peace fool: peace is only a breath away, the meaning fool: mean what you say, and say what and do what holds meaning to you, the law fool: know the law, passion, trust, life purpose, animals

channelled songs: bambi by baekhyun · kanzen kankaku dreamer by one ok rock (““when i'm caught in fire / when i rise up higher / do you see me out there? / i can’t get enough! can’t get enough!”) · all for love by wayv (“longing to start over but i know it’s not fine / the waxing and waning of the moon doesn’t wait anymore / we cannot go back to the way we used to be” · “it's all for love” · “what i should do is let go of my past dependence on you / the unfolding of time pushes me towards the next future / the pain will be relieved when i let go of all the waiting”)

hey there group three ♡ november finds you pursuing your life purpose, finally. you have held yourself back from choosing this particular route, wondering if it is really for you or really worth it because of how much it will change your life as you come to be familiar with it. but this month will provide you with the proof and confirmation that you needed in order to follow the path that you want, and that you have wanted.

this decision will immediately bring prosperity into your life and will lay the foundation for wealth—even generational wealth. because you are doing it for love! for love of yourself and to honour what your spirit needs.

i really feel as if this month is an end to the worst of your sorrows and worries, group three. as long as you go through this month being honest and intentional in your actions you will see everything in your life continuing this upwards projection. even when at times it may seem difficult, trust in yourself and the work you are putting in in order to achieve your goals, and trust in the divine as they guide you.

your animal companion may be extra important to you this month. others of you will find a new animal either entering your life (think a stray cat randomly appearing in your home or intending to adopt on animal but at the last moment feeling drawn to adopt a different one, etc) or the same animal appearing often around you in places where they shouldn’t necessarily be appearing (think a summer bird in autumn, a tattoo of an animal that people don't usually get tattooed, etc). make note of them, look up their symbology, and incorporate those messages into your life as you continue on this journey.

GROUP FOUR: BIRTH OF AN IDEA, BY NORWOOD HODGE MACGILVARY

cards pulled: strength, six of swords, the hanged man (reversed), temperance; the trickster: get real, the thank fool: be grateful, the pain fool: face your pain, blessings, career, talent, wellbeing

channelled songs: end transmission by fire from the gods (“i suggest you walk this lonely road / to find redemption and become a hero” / “begin drifting, defy the laws of gravity / stare at the sun, challenging all reality”) · dreamer by nct 127 (“it’s the night where everything that you ask for comes true / magic where everything in your dream happens / ding-ding, the elevator is going up”) · big god by florence + the machine

hey there group four ♡ november sees you on the cusp of a new beginning, if you are willing to push through the last few major obstacles that stand between you and success.

this month you will be forced to face the things that you are holding onto and that are, in turn, holding you back from achieving the goals you have laid out for yourself to achieve. are you so committed to pride that you refuse to start from the bottom? are you so scared of failure that you refuse to even start?

you cannot live the life that you want to live if you refuse to change your mindset and approach. and while it will be difficult to hold yourself accountable, it will be worth it.

you will find your month filled with blessings in career as your talents are recognised. remember to look after your health this month though, as you may find yourself pushing your mind and body too hard in order to meet certain career-related goals or to finish certain tasks. for those of you who are establishing online businesses this month and are afraid of being lost in the sea of other online businesses if you are not posting every day, know that it is okay to take your time and rest between uploads—quality will always be better than quantity. your persistent effort will create longevity where posting every day and chasing trends will not.

it will be easy for you to get caught up in the business, so remember to take moments to rest. be purposeful in how you look after your mind and body this month and remember to show gratitude to the divine for how you have gotten, or, if you are not spiritual, to yourself for how hard you have worked to get where you are.

#**#tarot #pick a card #pick a picture #pick a pile #reading tarot #november predictions #predictions #pac #tarot community #tarot reading #divination #tarotblr #witchblr #spirituality #spiritualism #art

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aloneandforsakenbyfateandbyman · 2 years

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The death of Internet forums is so tragic bc really what it did was bring in a new era of surveillance + narcissism.

What I mean by that is for us older Millennials/ Gen X, we grew up in an era where you could impersonally post on the internet yet connect to people in a deeper way.

There were forums on every subject and hobby: history, culture, cars, true crime, sewing, dance, art, film, travel, fashion, gore, cities, food, mental illness, moms, gardening, emos, you name it.

Everything anyone could be interested in had a specific forum dedicated to it with nerds who knew their shit. And these dorks would message other dorks about aspie subjects without having to reveal their face and name.

As the internet grew, it also fell prey to capitalism and now we’re in a sort of cyber oligarchy where a few sites reign supreme. The official word is that forums died bc of “low search visibility,” as if by accident yet that’s not true.

Forums died bc corporations mercilessly slaughtered them for low-quality cesspools such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok etc. These apps are very heavily based on narcissism and government surveillance. You have to login and signup to everything now, and are being constantly tracked.

Instead of having a personality, we are repeatedly inundated with 10 sec videos of teenagers dancing to Abba or dogs rolling over. We don’t bond over shared knowledge, we bond over poorly made memes and videos of pink haired Americans eating food.

The internet wasn’t a high IQ hub of interaction to begin with, but it was still at a much higher level in the early 2000s. They completely rekked everyone’s attention span.

Every forum has been replaced with bland Reddit which always appears on every search engine, and it’s total cuck central. Everything on there is heavily censored, everyone posts such low quality and boring content and it’s like they’ve all been chemically castrated and are bottoms.

I miss when I could hide behind a screen and just LARP as a 40 year old man with erectile dysfunction who collected erotica and read BDSM novels. I hate that They completely destroyed weird forum culture just to lobotomize a new generation of Zoomers who don’t even know what torrents are

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blondeboyfriend · 1 year

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𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐊 𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐋 (𝟏𝟖+)

𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐍𝐈

[ PAIRING ] Femboy!Eren Yeager x f!reader [ AUTHOR'S NOTE ] Happy birthday to my favorite little shit. I was greatly inspired by this fan art of Eren. (yes this is a repost) [ SYNOPSIS ] It's your boyfriend's birthday and you decide to spoil him with an impromptu trip to a luxury department store. [ WORD COUNT ] 2.6k [ CONTENT ] Eren's dominant but not a dom, y/n doesn't come and she's cool with it, this is a world where Eren's beefy body can fit into designer dresses [idk sizes are more inclusive]), exhibitionism, you fuck around in a dressing room, ass eating (m receiving), oral sex (m receiving), jerking off, facefucking, drool, cum, you're like so in love with him lmao, Eren calls you babe, clothes sharing is mentioned, not beta'd.

You stood in front of the department store, eyes wandering the sinewy, otherworldly mannequins. They were draped in the finest of fashions, every cloth and bauble en vogue. It was clothing that exuded pure, unadulterated affluence. Each nightmarish figure purred, “My morals have decayed to the point of no return. Yours are on their way. Buy this fucking skirt.”

“Look at that one,” Eren said, eyes full of stars.

He was pointing at a navy blue taffeta dress with ruffles and a tent-like shape.

“I saw it on Diet Prada’s Instagram. I have to have it. Or, fuck, at least try it on.”

It was your boyfriend’s birthday. You had taken him out to a fancy dinner, the best omakase in the city. It cost you an arm and a leg, but luckily you anticipated dropping some money. Eren so rarely asked for anything, and if he did it was usually little things like a back rub or braiding his luscious chocolate-colored locks.

“Blue does always look so good on you,” you beamed.

He turned to you, his face a boyish yet unsure smile.

“Yeah?”

“No, I’m lying. You’d look like shit in it,” you snickered. “C’mon. If you end up liking it, I’ll buy it for you.”

“Babe, no. It’s probably like a million dollars. You’re not my sugar mama.”

“I just paid off my credit card. I think I can buy my beautiful boytoy a little dress.”

“Boytoy?” he questioned, eyes narrowed.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you said, grabbing his wrist. “Let’s go.”

You dragged him into the department store and walked right up to the lone sales associate. You described the dress like an absolute philistine. The associate was kind enough and able to make sense of your stilted description. Eren stood behind you, resting his head on top of yours. The associate looked him up and down, and went to grab the dress in his size.

“Are you interested in anything else? I can prep a dressing room for you,” she said, walking away.

“That’d be great,” Eren answered. He turned his attention towards you. “Let’s look around. Maybe I’ll find something even better.”

The both of you set off and searched the store high and low for dresses that fit Eren’s style. His was rather eclectic and hard to pin down, but he had a clear vision in his head of what it was. And whatever it was, it worked. He consistently served looks. Along with the navy taffeta dress, he found a ruffled, floral print mini dress and a white silk dress. You couldn’t wait to see them on him.

The associate led you to the dressing room. Eren handed her the dresses that had been draped over his arm and she hung them up carefully.

“Is it okay if I go in there with him?”

The associate gave you a quizzical look but ultimately said it was fine.

Once inside Eren immediately stripped down to a black, lacy bikini cut panty. You gazed at his chiseled body, your eyes lingering on his abdominals. They were begging to be licked.

“Hand me the Kika Vargas one.”

“The what?”

He giggled. “The navy one. The one that’ll make me look like a cupcake.”

You handed him the dress. He unbuttoned the front and slipped his arms in the sleeves.

“Help me button it.”

You were more than happy to assist him. You ran your hands down the front of the dress, relishing in the sleek softness of the quilted cotton. Your thumb brushed up against his nipple, leaving it erect in your wake. Eren’s cheeks turned a little pink. You smiled and began buttoning. Once you were finished you stepped back and admired him.

“Is it too much? Do I look like a babydoll?”

He looked down at the dress and adjusted the frills on the bib.

You tapped your index finger against your lips, deep in thought.

“Give me a twirl.”

He laughed and did a little spin. The dress fluttered about stunningly, giving you a peek of his ass.

“Nice,” you said before biting your bottom lip.

“This would be cute for brunch, right? Grocery shopping? Visiting your family?”

You guffawed. Your family had no idea Eren was so in touch with his feminine side. He wore tamer looks around them. His go to look being fitted slacks with a haphazardly tucked in hibiscus print button down paired with some patent leather loafers.

“Yeah, that’d go over well.”

“You’re right. I should wear something more revealing. Like this.”

He held out the next dress: a flouncy short number covered in purple and pink flowers with green leaves and blue accents. The fabric seemed to shimmer under the harsh lights of the dressing room. Much like the previous dress it was ruffled though it was more fitted with a smocked waist.

You helped Eren out of the navy one and into the new dress. He lifted his arms and you pulled it over his head and down his body. It showed off his physique, accenting every muscle.

“Hm. I can see your underwear through it.”

“Shit. They are black, aren’t they? Well fuck it,” he sighed, yanking his underwear down and handing them to you.

You folded them up and tucked them into your bag.

“Alright. How we lookin’ now?” he asked.

“Like your dick is poking out.”

Eren glanced down at the hem of the dress and was greeted by the tip of his semi-hard cock.

“You know you love it,” he said with a devilish tone.

You rolled your eyes and then let them linger on his broad shoulders. The soft cotton material looked impeccable around them. The pastels looked perfect up against his tanned, olive complexion. Eren adjusted his top knot, the movement pulling you from your trance.

“Next,” he said plainly.

You lifted the dress off of his body and tried not to stare too hard at his nude form. It took so much out of you to not grab his cock and give it a little tug. You turned to grab the final dress: a white one, somewhat in between the two previous dresses in terms of coverage. It was short like the others, but a bit more subdued. You untied the back of the dress and handed it to him.

“I already feel like this is the one.”

You sighed, staring at the price tag. “Of course you do. It’s the most expensive one.”

“I’ll cover half,” he said, putting it on.

“Fuck no! It’s your birthday present. You can’t pay for half of it.”

“You already spent who knows how much on sushi. Though if you want to dole out…” He paused and examined the tag himself before swallowing hard. “$1,340.”

Your jaw dropped. You had never spent that much on any item of clothing.

“Eren… We can’t afford that.”

He turned around and asked you to tie the back of the dress, seemingly ignoring your concern.

“Let’s just see how it looks on me and then we can put it back. It’s kinda exciting to have something so pricey on.”

“Exciting? I feel like I’m going to be sick. This is absurd.”

You were pained to see Eren’s statuesque back looked absolutely gorgeous in the dress. He looked angelic. The ruffles were ethereal. The way they fluttered about was beyond eye catching. They demanded attention. You could only imagine how lovely the front of him looked.

As you tied the dress, you let your hands graze his spine. He shivered and gave a concerned look over his shoulder.

“Your hands are cold.”

“My bad,” you said, fixing the bow you crafted. “Alright. You already know what I’m going to ask.”

He gave a smug grin and did a twirl, lifting the hem of the dress a little so you’d get an even better look at his erect cock and cute ass. You nearly drooled at the sight of his cock prodding the silk fabric as it settled.

“My eyes are up here,” he joked.

“I know. Your dick is more interesting though.”

He looked down and blushed.

“You gonna do somethin’ about it?” he asked coyly.

“I’d like to, but what if someone hears us?”

“There’s basically no one here, babe. Don’t worry about it.”

He grabbed your wrist and held it to his clothed cock.

“You know you want it,” he purred.

Eren was right. You did want him, you wanted him so fucking bad. He looked like an angel that was cast out of heaven for being too depraved. His cock throbbed in your hand, heat radiating from the shaft. It was begging to be in your mouth.

“Do you want me on my knees?” You asked.

He thought for a moment before smirking. “Yeah, but not for the reason you’re thinking.”

You got on your knees and asked, “What are you going to make me do?”

He turned his back and arched it, before flipping the dress revealing his taut cheeks. He spread them apart, revealing his puckered hole.

“Eat it,” he demanded. “It’s my birthday, remember?”

“I know it’s your birthday,” you seethed, pushing his hands out of the way.

You gripped his ass, digging your fingers into the tender flesh. A low groan freed itself from his lips. It was enough to get you throbbing. You licked your lips and spread his cheeks before encircling his hole with the tip of your tongue.

“Don’t worry. I’m clean. I douched before we left.”

“Oh so you were planning on me doing this?” you asked, giving his right cheek a small kiss.

“Mhm. Not in a Saks Fifth Avenue though. That’s an added bonus.”

“I’m sure it is,” you said before burying your face in his ass.

You lapped at his hole, relishing in slight grunts he let out.

“Fu—fuck,” he moaned. “Jerk me off. Now.”

You felt around for Eren’s hard cock, gripping it once you found it under the silken fabric. You rubbed the tip of it with your thumb, playing with the precum it wept.

“Babe, that feels so good,” he choked out as you squeezed his balls.

You hummed and continued to prod his hole with your tongue. His moans grew louder by the second sending you into a pit of anxiety.

“Eren, hush.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do. Not on my birthday.”

He had a point. It was his birthday and if he desired so badly to get kicked out of a luxury department store, you had no choice but to go along with his dastardly plan. You began to slurp, hungry for his hole. You were messy; your drool dripped down his ass and gathered at his balls.

“Kiss it.”

You did as you were told, sloppily kissing and tonguing his hole. A pitchy whine fell from his lips as you squeezed his cocktip. He began to rut against your hand, forcing it through your fist. He leaned forward, using the mirror for balance.

“Fuck,” he whined, hanging his head. “Feels s—so good.”

The amount of pride you felt was insurmountable. No language of this earth could articulate the heights of your elation. It was transcendent to hear his moans and heed his commands. You loved making him feel good, making him feel loved. In the end that’s what truly mattered.

“W—wanna come in yo—your mouth,” he stammered.

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, immediately thankful you had a bottle of hand sanitizer tucked away in your bag. Eren quickly turned around and lifted the dress, grabbing the back of your head and pulling you close. He didn’t hesitate to shove his cock in your mouth, panting and moaning the entire time. You knew the sales associate was hearing everything. Leaving the dressing room was going to be shameful. You should’ve just died in the confined space, never confronting the kind woman who decided to humor a couple of weirdos like yourselves.

“Why aren’t you fingering me?” he gasped while thrusting.

You pulled his cock out of your mouth and licked index and middle finger, a pathetic attempt at lubrication. Eren didn’t seem to mind and shoved his cock back in your warm, soft mouth.

“What’s the hold up?” he said, clenching his jaw.

You slid your fingers into Eren’s ass, prodding the tight walls before finding his prostate.

“Fuck!” he yelped.

He grabbed ahold of your head and pounded his cock into your mouth, panting like a dog. You continued to finger his prostate. It didn’t take long for cum to start trickling out of his slit.

“D—don’t st—top.”

He grunted as a steady stream of milky, white cum flooded your mouth. You happily swallowed every last drop as he bucked his hips a couple more times. He dropped his hands and you let go of his cock. You looked up at him. He appeared as if he was in a daze, finding some sort of comfort in the high ceiling.

“Happy fucking birthday, pretty boy.”

Your comment seems to bring him back down to your level. He patted your head and smiled.

“This might be the best one yet.”

“Yeah?”

He nodded. “One problem though. There is a large splotch of cum on this dress so we’re gonna have to buy it.”

You felt like you were going to vomit and shit and faint all at once.

“Eren… I… Eren! We can’t afford this!”

“I said I’d pay for half, remember?”

“But!”

“Quiet.”

“Oh now you want to be quiet. Now it’s quiet time. Great. Why couldn’t that have been, oh, I don’t know, when you were moaning like whore.”

He smirked. He always looked so handsome when he set forth a smug expression. It irked you to no end.

“How about this. I’ll pay for the dress. I have my dad’s credit card and he won’t say shit about it because I’m the golden child, which is fucked up but I don’t think it’s wrong to use it to my advantage.”

He was right. Grisha wouldn’t even notice. He made great money as a neurosurgeon.

“Okay. Not a bad idea.”

“Untie this,” he said, turning around. “But I do have a request. The navy blue dress. The one that makes me look like a creepy doll. I want that one.”

“And how much was that?” you asked, rubbing hand sanitizer all over your hands.

“I don’t know. Less than half the price of the one I came all over.”

You untied the dress and said, “Alright so still outrageous, but fuck it. It’s your birthday.”

“I think the navy one might even fit you,” he said, grinning. “You have to try it on.”

You told Eren you’d try it on at home. He looked rather dejected as he got dressed. But ultimately accepted your choice. As you left the dressing room the sales associate was standing by the register which thankfully wasn’t incredibly close to the dressing rooms.

“I see you chose two!” she exclaimed with a plastered grin.

“Yup,” you said, handing her the navy dress.

She quickly rang you up and you only felt slightly disgusted at yourself for dropping that kind of money on a dress. Though Eren had a point. You could have joint custody of that taffeta dolly dress. Plus he adored it and making him happy was the goal when it came to his birthdays.

“And the oth—”

Eren blushed and held the dress close to his chest. He tore the tag off and wordlessly handed it to her. Her practiced cheery grin morphed into a more nervous, mildly disturbed one. You hoped none of the stains were visible. Once Eren paid you both scurried out of the store, certain you’d never return to such a place.

#eren yeager x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren yeager smut #eren jaeger smut #snk x reader #aot x reader #aot smut #snk smut #attack on titan smut #shingeki no kyojin smut #.fics #.aot #.eren #x reader #reader insert

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prettyrealm · 11 months

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Umm melody said you’ve been scouted by modeling agencies we need the deets

Omg yes I was at a concert when it happened the first time 😭😭 waiting in line sweating my ass off, and it was funny because I honestly thought I was being tricked or kidnapped at first, but then she was like “Do you know who Bella Hadid is?” and I was like “Yes :0” and she asked for my height and for permission to snap a pic of me and told me to text her when I was done having fun. I still have the pic I sent my friends of the card so they could search and see if it was legit cuz I didn’t know shit about modeling let alone how big IMG was 💀

also got scouted by another agency a few months back 😭 when I told him I had already been scouted by IMG he was like “well you definitely have the look for it” I was gagged ngl lol

I got pretty close to following through when all they told me to do was stop threading my brows and send some bare face selfies, but when they sent the samples they wanted me to replicate for digitals I was meant to sent was bikini pics and I’m just not comfortable with that, otherwise I would probably be modeling right now 🤦🏽‍♀️ I ghosted because I’m goofy

I actually have a friend that models currently and he always tells me to try for agencies in NYC because he thinks my look is closer to what they like + considering the location they’re not as big on wanting bikini pics, but when I see him at castings all the girls there are still basically in bra and underwear so I’m just like nvm 🤦🏽‍♀️ and seeing how chaotic him & his model friends lives are in general I just know I’m not built for it (mentally at least lol), the highs are super high but the lows can be hard to get out of, not to mention super physically demanding and A LOT of money out of pocket to upkeep your look + maintaining a nice instagram or tiktok presence which is super important in the industry now. Super cool experience though, confidence boost aside, it was cool to get a first hand look at how that industry is even if it was for a short time.

#personal

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denmark-street · 7 months

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How Osama bin Laden’s ‘Letter to America’ reached millions online

By Wednesday night, the letter had become a point of discussion among left-wing creators on the video app, with some saying its critiques of American foreign policy had opened their eyes to a history they’d never learned.

But the letter didn’t rank among TikTok’s top trends. Videos with the #lettertoamerica hashtag had been seen about 2 million times — a relatively low count on a wildly popular app with 150 million accounts in the United States alone.

Then that evening, the journalist Yashar Ali shared a compilation he’d made of the TikTok videos in a post on X, formerly Twitter. That post has been viewed more than 38 million times. By Thursday afternoon, when TikTok announced it had banned the hashtag and dozens of similar variations, TikTok videos tagged #lettertoamerica had gained more than 15 million views.

The letter’s spread sparked a deluge of commentary, with some worrying that TikTok’s users were being radicalized by a terrorist manifesto, and TikTok’s critics arguing it was evidence that the app, owned by the Chinese tech giant ByteDance, had been secretly boosting propaganda to a captive audience of American youth.

But the letter’s spread also reflected the bedeviling realities of modern social media, where young people — many of whom were born after 9/11 — share and receive information on fast-paced smartphone apps designed to make videos go viral, regardless of their content.

It also showed how efforts to suppress such information can backfire. Many of the videos on TikTok were posted after the British newspaper the Guardian, which had hosted a copy of bin Laden’s letter, removed it. Some TikTokers said the removal was proof of the letter’s wisdom and importance, leading them to further amplify it as a result.

“Don’t turn the long-public ravings of a terrorist into forbidden knowledge, something people feel excited to go rediscover,” Renee DiResta, a research manager at the Stanford internet Observatory who has advised Congress on online disinformation, wrote Thursday in a post on Threads. “Let people read the murderer’s demands — this is the man some TikTok fools chose to glorify. Add more context.”

TikTok spokesman Alex Haurek said Thursday that the company was “proactively and aggressively” removing videos promoting the letter for violating the company’s rules on “supporting any form of terrorism” and said it was “investigating” how the videos got onto its platform.

Haurek said that the #lettertoamerica hashtag had been attached to 274 videos that had garnered 1.8 million views on Tuesday and Wednesday, before “the tweets and media coverage drove people to the hashtag.” Other hashtags, for comparison, dwarfed discussion of the letter on the platform: During a recent 24-hour period, #travel videos had 137 million views, #skincare videos had 252 million views and #anime videos had 611 million views, Haurek said.

Ali said he made the compilation video Wednesday after seeing “thousands” of the videos and intentionally left out the “most incendiary examples” because he didn’t want the compilation to be removed from Instagram, where he also posted it.

He agreed the hashtag had never trended on TikTok but disputed the idea that the number of videos posted there had been “small,” saying, “Sure, in the context of a global platform. But not small enough to be minuscule or not important.”

Most of the videos have since been removed by TikTok, making it difficult to get a full tally. But a search for the letter Thursday morning by a Washington Post reporter revealed around 700 TikTok videos, only a few of which got more than 1 million views.

Such high view counts are common on TikTok, where videos are served up in rapid fashion and the average U.S. user watches for more than an hour a day. One viral video last month, in which a young woman discussed the pain of a 9-to-5 job, has more than 3 million views and 280,000 likes.

The videos featured many people saying they’d known little about bin Laden and were questioning what they’d been taught about American involvement around the world. Some said they were “trying to go back to life as normal” after reading it; in one video, a user scrolled through the full letter and said, “We’ve been lied to our entire lives.”

But while many pointed to bin Laden’s comments on the Palestinian issue, few highlighted the letter’s more extreme criticism of Western “immorality and debauchery,” including “acts of fornication, homosexuality, intoxicants, gambling and trading with interest.”

Many commenters also criticized giving the letter attention or worked to remind people that bin Laden had preached an antisemitic, sexist ideology that led to thousands of deaths. On the “_monix2” video, one commenter said, “You guys Bin Laden wrote this. Do y’all know what he did. What is wrong with y’all [oh my God. I guess] we’re supporting terrorism these days.” (Attempts to reach the @_monix2 account were unsuccessful.)

Charlie Winter, a specialist in Islamist militant affairs and director of research at the intelligence platform ExTrac, said in an interview Thursday that he was “frankly really quite surprised at the response” to the letter, which he described as “a kind of core doctrinal text” for both al-Qaeda and the Islamic State terrorist group.

In addition to long-standing grievances, the letter contains “blatant language that is clearly calling for acts of genocide … [and] for killing noncombatants in any nation that is democratic and is fighting against a Muslim-majority state,” he said.

“It’s not the letter that is going viral. It’s a selective reading of parts of the letter that’s going viral,” he said. “And I don’t know whether it’s because people aren’t actually reading it or, when they’re reading it, they’re reading the bits that they want to see.”

The letter’s spread online was celebrated Thursday by users on al-Qaeda forums, according to SITE Intelligence Group, which tracks online extremism. One user Thursday wrote that Islamist militants should capitalize on the opportunity, saying, “I hope you all are seeing ongoing storm on Social Media. … We should post more and more content.”

Some of the TikTok creators who shared the letter posted follow-up videos saying they did not support terrorism or violence. One of the first TikTok creators to share it, and who spoke to The Post on the condition that her name not be included in the story, said she had encouraged people to read it for “educational purposes.”

She said she did not “condone nor justify” bin Laden’s actions and was “distancing [herself] from this entire situation.” “It’s a sad world if we cannot even read a public document, simply to educate ourselves, without being smeared online,” she said.

TikTok has faced criticism and calls for a nationwide ban due to the popularity of pro-Palestinian videos on the app compared with pro-Israel content, even though Facebook and Instagram show a similar gap. In a video call organized by TikTok on Wednesday, first reported by the New York Times, some Hollywood actors and TikTok creators pushed company executives to do more to crack down on antisemitic content.

But the idea that the “Letter to America” discussion solely began on TikTok is challenged by Google data, which show that search interest in the “bin Laden letter” began gathering last week, days before it became a topic of TikTok conversation.

And TikTok is far from the only place where the letter has been discussed. Though Instagram blocked searches for some hashtags, some videos related to the letter — including those critical of it — remained publicly viewable Thursday on the Meta-owned app.

On Thursday afternoon, searches for “letter to America” on Instagram were still being given a “Popular” tag. One post, a series of screenshots of the letter, had more than 10,000 likes as of Thursday afternoon.

On Thursday, the letter and bin Laden’s name were also “trending topics” on X, the social network owned by Elon Musk. One tweet there from Wednesday — in which the writer said reading the letter was like feeling a “glass wall shatter,” and asks, “Is this what ex cult members feel like when they become self aware” — remained online Thursday, with nearly 3 million views.

The letter — a nearly 4,000-word translation of the al-Qaeda leader’s comments — had been originally posted in Arabic on a Saudi Arabian website used to disseminate al-Qaeda messages. The Guardian originally published an English translation in 2002 alongside a news article that offered more detail on how it had begun circulating among “British Islamic extremists.”

Though the Guardian removed the letter on Wednesday, its replacement, a page called “Removed: document,” had by Thursday become one of the most-viewed stories on the newspaper’s website. Some TikTokers voiced anger at the newspaper for, in the words of one, “actively censoring” information.

A spokesperson for the Guardian said in a statement that the letter had been removed after it was “widely shared on social media without the full context.”

The editors of the Guardian faced a “no-win scenario” once interest in bin Laden’s letter began to grow, Marco Bastos, a senior lecturer in media and communication at City, University of London, said in a phone interview.

“If they don’t take down the content, the content will be leveraged and it will be discussed, potentially shared and is going to go viral — if not out of context, then certainly outside of the scope of the original piece,” Bastos said. “If they take it down, they’re going to be accused, as they are right now, of censorship.”

At the time of publication, the editors “expected that this letter would be read critically, you know, adversarially … that you would process this within the view — or the bias, if you prefer — of the Western side of the events,” Bastos added. “And now it’s being consumed, distributed and shared to push an agenda that’s precisely the opposite of the one that it was originally intended for.”

Winter, the Islamist militant affairs specialist, said he found it “kind of ironic” that the letter was being shared uncritically around the web.

“People who consider themselves to be critical consumers of mainstream media are consuming this very uncritically and not thinking about the context around it,” he said. “Not thinking about everything that happened just over a year before it was published as well, in any meaningful way.”

Bisset reported from London.

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beardedmrbean · 5 months

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FIRST ON FOX – Missouri police say a group of six people, including two young children, who follow a popular online spirituality influencer, disappeared from the St. Louis area on Aug. 13, 2023.

The Berkeley Police Department is searching for Mikayla Thompson, 25, of St. Louis; Naaman Williams, 30, of Washington, D.C.; Gerrielle German, 27, of Lake Horn, Mississippi; 2-year-old Ashton Williams of Lake Horn; Ma’Kayla Wickerson, 36, of St. Louis; and 3-year-old Malaiyah Wickerson of St. Louis. They disappeared from a rental home near Lambert St. Louis Airport, police said in a press release.

"The investigation revealed these individuals had become a part of a spiritual cult and they follow the teachings of a man named Rashad Jamal (White). Rashad Jamal has tens of thousands of followers across multiple social media platforms. It should be noted he was recently convicted of various crimes in the State of Georgia and is serving a lengthy prison sentence," Berkeley police said in the release.

The group was last seen on Aug. 13, 2023, at a Quality Inn Hotel at 55 Dunn Road in Florissant, Missouri.

The four missing adults have one thing in common, police told Fox News Digital. They all openly follow Rashad Jamal White, a self-proclaimed "prophet" and rapper who created The University of Cosmic Intelligence — an online religious group with thousands of followers across the United States. Fox News Digital has reached out to The University of Cosmic Intelligence.

A Barrow County judge sentenced Jamal to 18 years in prison in August 2023 after a jury found him guilty of child molestation and cruelty to children, according to court documents. On Aug. 25 of last year, Jamal filed a motion for a new trial, citing "the State's failure to prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt."

He has nearly 190,000 followers on TikTok, more than 10,000 followers on X and 90,000 followers on Instagram, where he shares videos expressing his beliefs that people are "avatars," birds are government-operated drones used to spy on civilians, Arizona is a gateway to Africa and the Mississippi River is actually the Nile River, among other claims.

"The only law I had broken was speaking out against oppression," Jamal said in a YouTube video posted last week. "…The only thing I am guilty of is freeing the minds of my people and speaking out against this system, and I'll never back down from that."

Jamal's group is "geared toward enlightening and illuminating the minds of the carbonated beings, a.k.a. your so called [sic] Black and Latino people of Earth," the university's website states. He preaches about "high-vibration" individuals who want to connect with the Earth and their ancient pasts versus "low-vibration" individuals who make the world a more toxic place.

"I am a god, and all of my people, the Black and Latino people, are gods. And we were made in the image of our creator," Jamal said in a May 2022 video. "Therefore, I am an extension of Her/Them, and I am the creator and destroyer of my reality, so I take full responsibility for all events that I have experienced through this lifetime, for this is what we call shadow work in the spiritual realm."

The University of Cosmic Intelligence website also lists crystals, crystal necklaces, bracelets and other items for sale at odd prices, such as $333.33, $222 or $119.99. The university offers enrollment packages for lectures, blog posts, videos and merchandise for $333.33. Jamal is also asking for $9 donations to support his family via YouTube.

Fox News Digital reported in 2022 that several of Jamal's followers — including Damien Winslow Washam, Krystal Diane Pinkins and Yasmine Hider — had been accused of two separate murders in Alabama. Washam was found not guilty of killing his mother with a sword by reason of insanity.

Pinkins and Hider were sentenced last week for killing Adam Sinjee, a 22-year-old Florida college student who was hiking with his girlfriend in the Talladega National Forest in Alabama when Pinkins and Hider staged a car breakdown and robbed them.

Pinkins and Hider had been living "off the grid" in the Talladega National Forest near the crime scene and allegedly had connections to Jamal's work through social media, as Motherboard reported in 2022.

After publication, several of Jamal's followers reached out to Fox News Digital insisting upon his innocence, not only in relation to the murder cases, but in Jamal's molestation case filed in Jackson County, as well.

Now, Berkeley police are shining new light on Jamal and The University of Cosmic Intelligence as it relates to the disappearances of the six aforementioned people, who originate from different states but met and lived together in St. Louis for a brief period before they vanished.

Neighbors reported seeing the group of six, including their children, meditating naked in the yard outside their rental home, police told Fox News Digital.

"The level of disconnect these cult members have demonstrated with friends and family members is unfathomable," Berkeley police said in their release. "We have learned that similar cult members travel at great lengths to live off the grid and stay with fellow cult members and that their economic status does not appear to be a factor."

Police noted that "major media outlets have reported on" Jamal and encouraged the public to "do an internet search on his name."

The four missing adults went by aliases that pay tribute to certain gods and goddesses — a common theme among many of Jamal's followers.

Thompson called herself Antu Anum Ahmat, Williams called himself Anubis Aramean and Wickerson called herself Intuahma Aquama Auntil, according to police.

Other behaviors that Jamal's followers exhibit, according to police, include being very active on social media in support of Jamal and The University of Cosmic Intelligence, a "total disconnection" from family and friends, quitting jobs, living off of credit cards, going off the grid and disconnecting from phones, embracing sovereign citizenship, polygamy and more.

Authorities are asking anyone with information about the whereabouts of these missing individuals to contact the Berkeley Police Department in Missouri or their local law enforcement office.

#nunyas news #this all seems perfectly sane

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upalldown · 11 months

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PJ Harvey - I Inside the Old Year Dying

Tenth album and first in seven years from the alt.rock singer-songwriter produced by Flood and John Parish

10/13

“I was quite lost,” says Polly Harvey of the period that produced her new, 10th (and first for seven years) LP I Inside the Old Year Dying. “I really wasn’t sure what I wanted to do: if I wanted to carry on writing albums and playing, or if it was time for a change in my life- ‘OK, I’ve done this for a long time. Do I want to carry on for the remainder of my life doing the same thing?’”

It probably doesn’t come as a huge surprise to hear that Harvey, burnt out by a gruelling year-long world tour in support of 2016’s The Hope Six Demolition Project, found herself in a rut. There hadn’t been a single whisper of new studio recording since then – she had worked diligently on music for the stage and for film and TV soundtracks and, of course, had been working on the beautiful, strange Orlam, her poetry collection that published last spring.

Sprinkled in the middle of this period was a delicious reissue campaign of her entire back catalogue with accompanying demos albums – manna for the PJ Harvey fan. But you got the sense that there was something of a shift happening in real time for Harvey; the album-tour-album cycle had been resolutely broken and she was pursuing her artistic urges in oblique and sometimes obscure new directions.

It wasn’t the first time Harvey expressed doubts on her future in the music business – she told Q magazine in 2001 that she almost gave up music to retrain as a nurse in the low period between 1995’s To Bring You My Love and 1998’s Is This Desire? – but the move towards writing, particularly on such an all-encompassing work as Orlam, had an air of finality about it and the lengthening gap seemed to support a sense that Harvey might just be done in terms of recording new albums.

So seeing studio photos by Steve Gullick uploaded to her Instagram account in February 2022 was, certainly, an exciting and surprising change of pace. As it turns out, Harvey was in the thick of recording her new album at London’s Battery Studios with long-time collaborators John Parish and Flood. She describes how the songs “fell out of [her]” within three weeks, and indeed the music has both an immediacy and a haziness that suggests a conception that is far from studied and rehearsed.

What is a PJ Harvey album in 2023 going to sound like? Harvey has made a career on sharp turns, unexpected diversions, the persistent search for new ways of singing, writing, recording. Hope Six, for all its lively garage-rock swagger and vivid sketches, felt somewhat distant and cold and, following on from its counterpart Let England Shake, seemed to occupy a similar kind of space thematically and in terms of performance – Harvey’s voice high and reedy, the outside narrator observing the scene without opinion or emotion. The last time Harvey felt such an innate need for something new was on 2007’s White Chalk, where she ditched the guitar for the piano and traded the raw energy of her previous records for an album of strange, austere, gothic ballads of autumnal beauty. She sang in a new, plaintive voice – her “church voice” – and wrote songs that were somehow both thrillingly different and offbeat but made sense within the Harvey oeuvre.

I Inside the Old Year Dying, perhaps not coincidentally then, most closely resembles White Chalk in terms of its mood and style – perhaps incongruously released in July, it is certainly an autumnal listen; Harvey sings most of it in a higher register and there is an elegant, restrained intimacy that recalls some of White Chalk. But it does not share the same piano-centric DNA and, indeed, some of it also recalls the ramshackle folksiness of some of the deeper cuts on 2004’s Uh Huh Her. In fundamental terms, it trades Let England Shake and Hope Six’s looking-outwards philosophy to focus firmly on the interior. “I instinctively needed a change of scale,” Harvey has said. “There was a real yearning in me to change it back to something really small – so it comes down to one person, one wood, a village.”

The “one person, one wood, a village” refers to Ira-Abel Rawles, the central figure in Harvey’s poem Orlam, which forms the basis for the lyrics of I Inside the Old Year Dying. Ira is a young girl growing up in the fictional Dorset village of Underwhelem, surrounded by a peculiar crop of villagers and family. Orlam is a story of awakening, the tension between the natural world and physical reality, and the inevitability of the passing of the seasons, all of which are loosely evoked throughout the album.

The Harvey of 2023 is no longer an artistic compartmentaliser, which is why it might take some getting used to in understanding that the album occupies the same artistic terrain as the book. The filmmaker Steve McQueen told Harvey during the Hope Six era: “Polly, you have to stop thinking about music like it’s all albums of songs. You’ve got to think about what you love. You love words, you love images and you love music. And you’ve got to think, What can I do with those three things?”

It’s not necessary to know Orlam to be able to enjoy I Inside the Old Year Dying, but such is the esoteric nature of the work that, as song lyrics, they are far more oblique than we’re used to from Harvey. As a lyricist, and indeed as a musician, Harvey has always been pretty direct. The deceptive simplicity in her work, both lyrically and musically, has always been her superpower. I Inside the Old Year Dying marks a significant change in this regard – written in Dorset dialect and sung again with her natural accent (yes, recalling that “church voice” of White Chalk), the text is an allegory of childhood, adolescence, the natural world – it’s an evocation of the English countryside and rural magic realism.

There are thematic threads that weave in and out – the shadowy symbol of Wyman-Elvis, who is both a Christ-like mythical figure and a ghostly spectre (“are you Elvis? Are you God?” she sings on the fragile and folky “Lwonesome Tonight”), the dreaded feeling of starting school, and the haunting refrains of “Love Me Tender” that shift in and out of several songs. It’s not something that the listener is particularly able to pin down, and that appears to be the point – I Inside the Old Year Dying seems not to be an album that you are supposed to “understand,” but instead one that you feel. A lot of the songs are about memories and delving back into the past, and the music and production – which is not rough in the sense of Uh Huh Her but not polished like a Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea – perfectly captures the distance, both physical and mental, of memory and the passing of time.

The Dorset dialect lends the album its unique poetic sensibility and also contributes to its slippery feeling of unknowability; “Quaterevil takes a wife / chilver meets her Maker / as the grindstone turns the knife / o’er Eleven Acres,” scans “The Nether-Edge.” It’s beautiful and strange and not your usual PJ Harvey lyric. But, just as readily, she emerges with imagery as familiar as “Pepsi fizz / peanut and banana sandwiches.”

Some songs have a formative, Beefhearty vibe, from the rough-hewn guitar roll of “Seem an I” (translated as “Seems to Me”) to the ramshackle chaos of the delivery of “Autumn Term”, but anyone familiar with Harvey’s soundtrack work post-Hope Six – particularly All About Eve – will recognise the restrained elegance in some of the chord structures of songs like “Prayer at the Gate” and “Lwonesome Tonight”. I Inside the Old Year Dying is an album that seems to hinge on these kind of fault-lines – between the corporeal and the imagined, the poetic and the prosaic, the bridge between childhood and adulthood. Of “life and death all innertwined,” as she keens on “Prayer on the Gate”.

Musically, the deft fusion of the delicate and the hearty reflects Harvey’s thematic explorations; the production is full of strange quirks, whether found sounds or unusual effects that are sometimes inserted and not repeated. The effect is that the music feels both hazy and alive, evoking the Orlam world in its strange splendour.

Another key to the sound is the use of male vocals not just for contrast but for poetic resonance, and the way Harvey employs the voices of Parish and actors Ben Whishaw and Colin Morgan is haunting and rather beautiful. The interpolation of Whishaw singing a segment of “Love Me Tender” in the foggy magnificence that is “August” is nothing short of stunning, while Parish’s crazed singing with Harvey on “Autumn Term” has a bizarre, nightmarish vibe that captures that first-day-of-school dread – “I ascend three steps to hell / the school bus heaves up the hill.” Morgan, meanwhile, provides the folk-horror chant that “A Child’s Question, July,” is built around – all Wicker Man ritual, with its “twoad”-licking and rural dance around the phallic Ooser-Rod.

For an album that evokes childhood and adolescence so strongly, I Inside the Old Year Dying makes use of some of Harvey’s most girlish singing – the beginning of “Seem an I”, for instance, is sung as if she were a girl singing to herself at the bus stop. It then morphs into its Beefheart roll, and it also puts me in mind loosely of “Heaven”, one of Harvey’s earliest recordings, that later emerged as a b-side in the White Chalk era. There is that same innocence of sound, the simple and joyful guitar pattern (although slowed and rougher), and the murky merging of the past and the present. In some ways, it makes sense on such a record that Harvey might subconsciously revisit something from the past.

The Beefheart influence found in so much of Harvey’s work can also be detected, for me, on “Autumn Term”, which seems to heave and creak like the bus in the lyrics; it’s sung in a deranged yet contained A Woman A Man Walked By style. “The Nether-edge”, meanwhile, begins with a disembodied vocal effect; it has a strange, strident beat that recalls Pink Floyd’s menacing “One of These Days”, before becoming something altogether jauntier.

“I Inside the Old Year Dying” is a classic Harvey acoustic guitar D-minor stomp with beautiful, reverb-drenched piano piercing the fog; “All Souls” is a melancholy dirge, one that starts so purely and softly, with one of Harvey’s gentlest and loveliest vocals, before the arrangement builds into a heavy hymn. “A Child’s Question, August” is both a deceptive and appropriate trailer for the record – it’s probably one of the least interesting songs on the record, but successfully suggests its broad themes and style. Following on from “All Souls”, though, is a sequencing gamble that threatens to swamp the mid-section of the album in sloth.

The gorgeous “I Inside the Old I Dying”, though, is one of the album’s gems with its shuffling percussion, Parish’s gossamer guitar part, and Harvey’s graceful melody; the uncertain vocal delivery was a purposeful choice – “I was standing in the vocal room with the headphones on, and Flood said ‘No, no–you sound like PJ Harvey.’” Harvey ended up recording the vocal with her eyes closed, unaware of where the microphone was, which lends it its blurred, out-of-focus quality. “Flood would just experiment all the time like that, to find the thing he wanted,” says Harvey.

The same can be said of the magnificent opener “Prayer at the Gate”, which is sung, as a lot of the album is, in Harvey’s upper register – but there is a warmth and strength in the delivery that is so much more appealing than on Let England Shake or Hope Six. It’s a beautiful, emotional invocation that recalls some of her work on the All About Eve soundtrack and, at its climax, Harvey sings in an unabashed, radiant high vibrato that is somewhat new for her and possesses a real yearning and sad desperation. It’s a beauty.

At the opposite end of the record, “A Noiseless Noise”, seemingly from nowhere, brings out a heavy, propulsive rhythm not heard on a Harvey record in a while and she also unleashes a vocal that is pure Stories grit, power, and sheen. As much as one respects Harvey’s resolve in not wanting to repeat herself, it’s a joy to hear something a bit more unbridled again that, to her credit, hangs together well with the rest of the material.

Although comparisons with earlier records might provide loose reference points, ultimately comparison is futile in trying to pin down the sound of an album that simply will not be pinned down – I Inside the Old Year Dying succeeds where all Harvey records do, in breaking new ground for her. Its plaintive beauty and major/minor contrasts recall some of her more intimate work and it exists within the same world as Harvey’s more apparently personal, “English” work, but there is a newness in the decision to include more found sounds and effects – birdsong, bells, schoolchildren, strange nocturnal noises – that make it sound alive, immediate, and particularly with Orlam as a base text, it’s definitely its own universe.

Somehow, though, it feels transitional. It doesn’t present as a bold step forward, nor Harvey’s most daring volte-face. This isn’t to say it is not an important artistic moment for Harvey – in many ways, it might be one of her most personally important records. Breaking new ground doesn’t need to mean something entirely leftfield. It feels like a gentle but decisive turn towards a new direction, the sound of Harvey making sense of where she is at artistically. It’s the sound of an artist who had obviously been uncertain where to go and how to go about it but has pulled the threads together into something meaningful for her creative future – Harvey speaks about being “broken-hearted” at fearing she had fallen out of love with music after 2017, and how she slowly found a way in again by playing her favourite songs by other artists on the piano or guitar – Nina Simone, The Stranglers, The Mamas and the Papas.

I Inside the Old Year Dying is probably most important because it represents Harvey’s vision clearing – the confusion about which direction to take, having become more comfortable with writing music as accompaniment to existing work and focusing on poetry, has crystallised into the realisation that there needn’t be a choice. At one point, Harvey thought I Inside the Old Year Dying might end up as a stage piece; instead, it’s its own world on record, the aural cousin of Orlam. Harvey describes it as a “resting space, a solace, a comfort.” That can be said for both its content and its result.

I Inside the Old Year Dying is a record that takes time to find its way in. There is more to uncover than might first appear – which is also one of the general themes of Orlam and the associated song lyrics. You’re never quite sure exactly where you are – Harvey’s voice is often mixed very much front and centre but is deliberately contrasted with the reverb in the instrumentation and the comparatively dry recording of the percussion to create an eccentric, ambiguous hinterland that moves in and out of focus.

“I’m somewhere I’ve not been before,” says Harvey. “What’s above, what’s below, what’s old, what’s new, what’s night, what’s day? It’s all the same really – and you can enter it and get lost. And that’s what I wanted to do with the record, with the songs, with the sound, with everything.” On this basis, Harvey has succeeded in her aims.

There is enough here that suggests both a looking back and a looking forwards – again, that bridge between new and old, the past and the future, the real and the fantastical. As ever, where she goes next is anyone’s guess.

youtube

#pj harvey #i inside the old year dying #music #Youtube

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