#haha good to know im literally doing more for my community out of my tiny apartment

[inkskinned]

100,000 dollars is not a lot of money.

it is also a lot more money than i will ever have. my student loans make up half of that - they're coming back, i'm told, like we all bounced back recently. the other day while paying for gas to go to work, i overdrew my account without knowing it.

i sat in the car and looked at the charge and tried to do the math. where the fuck is the money even going? i don't live extravagantly. i live in a hole in the ground, in an apartment the size of a sneeze; covered in ants. yes, i wanted to live close to a population center. maybe that's my fault. i've downloaded the apps and i've spoken to the experts and i've cut back on excess. i can't help the pharmacy bills or the medical debt.

i have a good, well-paying job. when i googled it to see if i was getting a fair salary, i found out i'd be making "upper middle class" money. which doesn't make sense - is "upper middle class" now just "able to afford a one-bedroom without a roommate". when i was younger, upper-middle meant a nice big house and a backyard and vacations and not flinching about eating at a resturant.

i was talking to my friend who is a realtor. he said 100,000 dollars is extremely cheap for housing. he's not wrong. 100,000 dollars would change my life. 100,000 dollars also won't really buy you anything. it could get you out of debt, potentially, if you were lucky and had a certain amount of scholarships to tack onto your degree. you could pay off the car and then have enough left over for "spending" money. how fucking amazing. one vacation, maybe two if you're thrifty. and then - like magic - the money would evaporate into nothing. people would sigh and tell you see, you should have put it into savings! like "upper middle class" people can't afford to value "actually living" over squirrelling wealth. you should spend your life only in scarcity. like that is what made the rich people all their real "actually a lot of money".

100,000 dollars would literally set me free. it also would just set me back to "earning normally" instead of paying down debt into infinity. god, do you know how many of us just want that? that our first thought is we could stop scrambling and just be free of debt if we won the lottery? that we don't even necessarily need to stop working - we just wouldn't have to worry about failing or falling?

and. at the same time. 100,000 dollars is next to fucking nothing.

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian Chapter 12 Reactions: Mando goes on a self care sidequest with friends and now the Razor Crest can fly again

- before we talk about ANYTHING else I have to mention once again: 

shut UP they have a statue for IG-11 in the town square!!!!! right outside the school like he’s guarding it!!! I am  c r y i n g

- that opening scene was Everything; I have had exactly this type of conversation with my dad so many times when I was a kid and he was fixing up our about-to-fall-apart house (though he’s an electrician so he wouldn’t have let me within fifteen kilometers of anything electrical that was still powered lol. it’s okay tho let’s just assume that star wars tech has extra fail safes for these things that we don’t, the baby is clearly fine)  

callout post for Din Djarin: does not own furniture, literally sits on a crate in the middle of the cargo hold to eat dinner, has presumably been living like this for decades, help him 

them sipping soup perfectly in sync 😭😭😭 (for some reason I find it so funny that din lifts up and then lowers the helmet for every mouthful fsaldkfhjsadfh it’s such a... I almost want to say dainty? way of doing it and my heart is full of so much affection)   

I wonder if they’ve been eating together like this for a while or if it’s din doing just a tiny bit of testing his boundaries now that he knows there are different schools of thought on the helmet thing to see how he feels about it? the baby is extremely curious, but that could also be because he’s seen people take the  helmet off completely now and made the connection that presumably his dad has a face above the chin under there too lol 

-

grandpa greef... things I didn’t know I needed but am delighted to get

the way the mando music goes soft and relaxed and almost playful when din spots greef and cara? fcking kills me ludwig göranson going for my throat once again

 - 

“hmmm why isn’t this working... the puppy eyes usually work on dad eventually this is unprecedented & concerning” 

a baby committing baby crimes through the force and getting away with it mostly scot-free... delightful, wonderful in every way    

‘batuu!’ ;_________; baby has a word for food?

- 

din’s Dad Instincts kicking in... I’m emotional over how casually protective he is with things like this, and that he showed signs of it even before meeting the baby (he’s also the last one to stay behind on the platform to make sure the rest of them make it out safely before they start running.... your honor im love this man more than anything he is Dad)

that soft steady protective-but-not-possessive masculinity baBEY 

- I am entranced by the difference between din’s fighting style in the last episode -- when he was continually on the back foot and out of sync with the people he fought with -- and in this episode, where he’s back in one man army mode. (he does take on sort of a protective role when he fights with friends -- he’s not quite fighting with them all the time he’s more like a shepherding dog circling them and making sure they’re okay lol) turns out he fights much better with -- for! -- people he actually trusts and knows and likes and who aren’t manipulating him huh :)   

- the mythrol dude says in the first episode that he’s a ‘fledgling’, and it makes everything about him so much funnier when you assume he’s his species equivalent of a teenager/twentysomething fsdfsdjkfhsd (he oh so 100% sold din out at the beginning there tho :( the most charitable interpretation is that he didn’t quite know the scope of it -- he did seem just as surprised as the rest of them that gideon isn’t dead, so maybe he thought that weird alien mechanic dude wanted to know about the crest for more mundanely nefarious reasons?)

they are kind of shitty towards him tho I feel a bit bad for him haha 

- at least din knows moff gideon is still alive now and can take appropriate precautions as far as possible? on the other hand he doesn’t know about the tracker and I am so scared help  

- man I wish gina carano wasn’t such a godawful person so I could appreciate cara dune’s overarms and interesting character development in peace but as it stands... yeah 

- @ all the people whining about when we get to ahsoka... meet me in the ring for dishonorable combat I am smol and sort of skinny these days but I have decades of pent up rage and no compunctions about fighting dirty on my side lol 

listen... I love ahsoka as much as the next person, but we already have two shows’ worth of content for her. just let me have my thirty minutes a week of slice of life dad and baby nonsense without it being overshadowed by Plot and more established characters okay (and also if the rumours are right about who is going to play her... double  y e a h  that’s going to be fun to navigate emotionally :/)    

- I actually really liked that they went back to nevarro to answer some old questions (where did those empire dudes even come from?? what’s going on with pershing and why am I so weirdly happy to see him again when clearly he is bad news??? what do they need the baby for exactly? how are cara and greef but mostly greef now sadly doing?) and update that whole storyline a bit, while opening even more questions. also stop midichlorian-counting yodito’s blood you fucking creeps

the (likely) midichlorian mention didn’t bother me that much because this show already thrives on the tension between the mythic and mystical and the weirdly mundane and realistic, it’s the one star wars thing I trust to handle the Force the same way without losing the magic of it

- seeing the armorer’s forge like that was honestly upsetting to me haha, I know the forge isn’t what makes her what she is but still 

-

greef karga is a huge bitch and I like him so much

I do like greef’s character growth, though -- it feels a bit like some older and more idealistic (well comparatively) part of him has finally gotten out from under the empire’s boot and restored itself, it’s sweet. he’s doing administrative things that have the whole town blooming! there are plants and living things thriving there now! he wants to establish a safe trading hub!

- f for this poor harried new republic officer, captain carson teva, who along with trapper wolf is apparently responsible for policing the entire outer rim haha

I like the complicated tension between him and the other characters here -- both sides have very good reasons to hold the points of view they do and it’s easy to see why it’s so hard for them to work together but at least this guy is trying to be fair about it     

- the way they all immediately agreed when din went straight into ‘get. baby. NOW everything else is secondary’ dad mode and let him go off on his own even tho he would probably have been real useful to have around T______T friendshipppp 

baby FINALLY strapped in securely I gave a little shout of triumph haha

the way he was like ‘free cookies! (everything’s free if you steal it #baby yoda life hacks) helping dad with stuff! high speed dog fights! BEST! DAY! EVER!’ through the whole scene right up until he was finally sick but it’s okay because dad is here and will fix it even while he’s driving... don’t even look at me I can’t 

- din being in a much more stable and happy place after going to friends for help (and the way it’s reflected in his ship! my theory still stands strong haha)....... mngh im not crying give this man some community he so clearly needs it 

[kahenn]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!

NAME:  Bunny

PRONOUNS: she/her

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: discord (most easily reached there), you can IM me but I’m slower because I don’t use the tumblr app. 

NAME OF MUSE(s): Miki Fuyuno 

RP EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?): Ugh, don’t make me think about it. (15 years probably, but that really is meaningless. 9 years on tumblr tho) 

PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: tumblr, deviantart, and way, way, way, back in the day, quizilla and gaia online lol. 

BEST EXPERIENCE: I have literally made some lifelong friends and connections through this weird little hobby and honestly I think that’s pretty cool?

RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS: Unnavigable themes and too much aesthetic that your posts/blog is inaccessible. I’m not talking nice edits or a bit of small text. I’m talkin formatting that’s all over the place, links that are impossible to find, weird contrast or tiny tiny text that makes things hard to read. It doesn’t even look good and when I have a terrible time navigating your page, it really puts me off from wanting to write in the first place.  Purple prose is bad. 

A deal breaker is ignoring my OC’s lore. There’s no point in RPing with me if you’re not going to take into account her story. I try to make her meld pretty seamlessly in to the world, without overtly shoehorning her into any canon character’s story lines, so as to not directly step onto canon’s toes. The most you have to acknowledge is her existence, some characters will know her by association or as an acquaintance at most at a base level. Some don’t need to know her at all. Basically, if you’re going to RP with me, you ought to take all of her shit seriously otherwise why are you here?   

MUSE PREFERENCES

FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: Definitely fluff or smut. Angst has its merits for sure, but I really dislike angst just for the sake of angst. You know, putting our characters through turmoil for no other point than to just make things terrible for them. I like a bit of angst if it’s plot driven and has some sort of resolution, but mainly, rp is an escape and a hobby that I do to unwind and enjoy myself. So I prefer to write things on the happier side! On the topic of smut, I like that to have some plot. I don’t write smut just for the sake of smut. It has to make sense for our character’s prior interactions. It has to be going that way, you know? There has to be some build up and development before it gets to that point. 

PLOTS OR MEMES: I have the memory and foresight of a goldfish so even though there are things i think of that make me go “oh my god i really want to write that!!!” I will forget about it until I am randomly reminded of it again. That could be days or months in between lol. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good plotted thread and I love screaming about scenarios of our muses with my partners, but honestly, I really like when a good meme segues into a thread. Just feels natural. Please reply to my asks, lol. 

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: I’m somewhere in between. I like at least a few paragraphs for serious/involved threads. Dash comm, quick back and forths, or silly stuff I really don’t expect more than a few sentences. I can get long and wordy if the thread and mood is right (I am looking disrespectfully at Rowan). 

BEST TIME TO WRITE: Time is meaningless, I type shit out when the whim strikes me. I honestly have no pattern of when I write best. Generally I write best when I am not tired and not in pain (I am often these things, haha). Sometimes that’s late morning, afternoon, or late night. Spin the wheel, see where it lands! Can’t sayI get any words out early morning though. 

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): Miki is my brain child so probably. I’m not a giant tsundere, nor am I 5′0″ tall and blonde but...I am also fond of plants/nature/gardening and the like. Certainly not to the extent Miki takes it. I kind of like domestic hobbies (baking/cooking, knitting, drawing) while Miki is less inclined to those. We like pink (but I take that one to the extreme). 

I stole this, now you should steal it also. Stealing is ok. 

[tillmays]

Is just her. II

Riley was on her element, she liked to play, and she knew he liked it too.

so tell me mr.groom, why are you the way you are?

James-  well is not that easy to tell.

Riley- you know, is so easy to talk to stranger.

james- is it?

Riley- fine let's make it a little loosely. she she reclines on the sofa, spreading her long legs making the dress fall between them, putting an arm behind the backrest, the lights in the room were off there were only two lamps on, and she was illuminated by the light that came through the large window. - i will ask you something and you will answer exactly how you're feeling i will go first, bored or.. she made a pause and she did a little flicker and raised her eyebrow, make a grimace with her lip and said very slowly - eager?

James- he shrugged his eyes and just saw her. his eyes speak with a desire for her, you know that when a man sees you that way it means that there is only one thought in his mind only the idea of not being able to touch you kills him inside, he said in a very deep and penetrating voice -eager.

Riley- what's wrong Mr.groom you wanna dick me down? *in this hot way he smiled and laughed softly*

James- haha you're very funny, i like that, but you know that i can't.. if i had met you 3 hours ago when i wasn't married, you wouldn't be sitting on that sofa

I'm not going to lie, that made her feel excited, and she was intrigued to see what could happen but as I said she likes to play. Riley- you know, some of your friends call you the christian grey.. and you forgot to ask, it your turn. *she said sarcastic making a little joke referring of what Bozer said earlier obviously he didn't know but it didn't matter*  

James- what.. ahaha i didn't know you knew my friends... and no i didn't forget, was thinking for the right question to ask.. with company or lonely.

Riley- lonely. sad or tired? he stared, didn't said nothing for a minute looking at her straight in the eyes, james felt those words really heavy he knew somehow that she felt the same way.

james was with his hand holding his jaw and his fingers over his lips said -you know is both. he sighted- you know i feel i can trust you but at the same time i know you don't care but at the same time you do so.. i this point i don't really care what happens to that man.*he started to tell her about his dad, his work, everything he even told her the name of the person who was going to buy the uranium and what was the business of this person* Riley mumbled very quietly and said- Mac listen. Mac answered. Mac-  yeah i heard it all of it, bozer we are ready. Bozer was in the bathroom with the laptop of Riley working on helping mac. desi was waiting for Mr.Oliver to make a move.

James- well it's your turn to tell me something now. what about you, why are you the way you are?

Riley could breath now, cause the team knew what to do now, after hearing what james just confessed about these mens she just needed to keep him distracted so he wouldn't suspect about her. 

Riley- oh come on dude, accept the mystery.

James- no no is your turn. what are you broken?

Riley wanted to tease him a little more, she lay down on the sofa and slid a little accommodating her body in a tempting way, she was looking at the ceiling and at the night sky thru the window.

James- girl.. you are deadly.. *She smiled*

Riley- i’m the whole package baby: chaotic, neurotic, erotic

Riley- i was very young and all alone. *riley looked at him and told him some thing about her not the undercover girl, she didn't lie she felt like she didn't have to, that night the two of them opened to a complete stranger and they created their own safe space. he walked to her way, he sat next to her, Riley got up and put her head on his legs, He played with her hair, they kept that energy for 5 minutes. they stayed in silence because sometimes it feels better not to talk. at all. 

Riley finally said something, started thinking out loud. - “I wonder what’s wrong with me. Sometimes I just keep wanting to go deeper and deeper into the world of self-destruction. As if I want to see myself fail completely and disappear.” 

they looked at eachother, James couldn't take it anymore, he asked.-can i kiss you? Riley just nodded. he grabbed her face and kissed her very slowly. that was a very hot kiss. the only thought of Riley was “maybe i teased him a little too much” Riley said to him- we have to be careful, we can't fall in love. Riley was hearing everything that was going on with the team they got the uranium got the buyer but Oliver was still trying to escape. james heard gunshots. and told Riley to stay there. he went outside and saw everybody running in every direction, he saw his dad with a gun and all of his bodyguards with him, he confronted him told him everything, the way he was feeling, and it was time for him to give himself up. 

Mac and Riley

Riley got out the room after james left, she took a a shortcut to get there before him and without him seeing her, she saw Mac and when runnin to him and grabbed her laptop. Riley and Mac when running to the along the side of the castle on a path that led to the large flower-filled garden.

Mac- Riley go to the back and get inside and grab the package,

Riley- okay, i already sent the whole information to matty.

Mac- uh that was fast. *they were standing under the frame of that entrance to the garden. - hey be careful when you get inside, and don’t lose the package, or matty will kill us.. *mac was making the smoke bomb with the thinks he found there* well gotta go.*he went running*

Riley- mac.. * he turned around and went back to her* yeah it’s something wrong? *Mac looked concerned and his eyes started to shine a little from the party lights that were outside, Riley just got lost in them and hold onto the words she was thinking of saying to him, put decided it was better not to.

Riley- nothing, just be safe.. *she gave him a little sad smile*

Mac- yeah don’t worry.. we got this.

Mac and Desi were there, Mac dropped a bomb of smoke to make the bodyguards move Desi and Mac beat them down and there was just Oliver and his son James.. it was the end in their relationship. 

james- you know i'm going to leave Chloe, since it was just for your business and that doesn't matter anymore. you can take him now. *Desi put the handcuffs on him* james went running back to the bedroom but riley wasn't there anymore he looked outside and there she was sitting on the steps of the backyard. 

James- hey.. 

Riley looked back and kept smoking her cigarette, she took the bottle of whisky and to glasses. James sat at her side, she served the two shots of whiskey

James- So what’s next?

Riley-  You heal. You grow. And you help others.

James- you know the whole night you have been a  tormenting vision. 

Riley sipped her drink. -you didn't disappoint me either.

James- hahaaha and there is she. i love how you are flirting with a tiny halo on. 

back with the guys.

Mac- hey boz, it's time to go you’re ready? where's Riley?

Bozer- she's talking with james, the groom, i think someone ended winning today hu?

Mac just looked J- E -A -L-O-U-S  but obviously he kept telling himself that he didn't understand that feeling, he looked at them thru the door that was open.      - yeah i guess... *mac putted back his communicator to see if he could hear them, Riley had not taken off hers. mac was listening.

Riley saw that the boys were ready to go. 

Bozer yelled, -Riley! we are ready when you're ready!

James- so that's your name.. Riley..

Riley- don't wear it out. 

James- well i see you have to go. i'm gonna miss our conversations, your a wonderful woman. 

Riley- me too. i hope you find the happiness you've been pretending to have.

they said cheers to that and was the last drink.

James- i hope we can meet again.

Riley- meet me in my dreams tonight and stay there for a while.

they gave a last kiss. you know what kind of kiss those that are late at night slow hot and spicy and teasing, mac saw them he just turned around when to wait for her at the car. 

  the jet talks, on their way home.

Desi- Riley i gotta said i'm surprised, you literally stole the groom! 

Bozer laughed, - hahaha girl she got you there.

Riley- oh come on, i know yall were listening, and it was more than obvious that he was going to divorce that girl, he texted me and told me that they already are going to be filing the divorce papers. they were married like 4 hours at a fake wedding. They never really got married was all done by his father he wanted to use them to make more money..

Bozer- wait you have his number?

Riley- and? what about it? 

Mac was just listening. he didn't understand why he was feeling that way. Mac changed the subject and said,- well i'm glad we could stop oliver and the whole clan of the guy who was going to buy it, thanks to Riley for making james speak to us about it. 

Riley- what can i say i have my ways. 

Bozer- im gonna miss this, i gotta say its gonna be weird when your gone. 

Riley- dont think about it now, relax, that this is loong flight way home.

Rileys head.

Riley was still thinking of that moment between mac and her. she didn’t know what to do with her thoughts, they were loud way to loud to be about him, not Mac, hes a friend just a good friend from work… i mean we were pretending, if we hadn’t done that we could have been caught, but we could have thought of something different but maybe it was just the moment, did i like it? or is just my fucking mind making tricks on me..? but it was dreamy.. Did i love a dream? maybe i’m just tired. *she put her headphones and reclined to be more comfortable, when i message popped up it was james, she smiled* ahh finally something i can distracted myself on. *Mac saw her smile like that and here was that weird feeling again, he was wondering what or who could make her smile like that.

     ....................................................................

if you catched the quote of  “Daul Kim, from I Like to Fork Myself “  

Photo  of the sky by KizanokZ .

oh and for the ones that were wondering and asking me for the hairstyle that i wrote for Riley it was this one. 

[lonelyshrimp]

What happened with your roomies if you don’t mind me asking...?

 Yknow what I’m in a mood and they don’t know my tumblr (haha they think I’m a cisstraight girl lol) so let’s get into some shit. Imma put everything under a read more bc imma rant a bit and this is gonna get long.

TW: food, unsanitary (general things not being kept clean, typically bathroom and kitchen related), drug use, fighting, slurs

tl;dr if you dont feel like reading this beast:

They steal what food i dare leave out in the kitchen rather tan keep in my room

They slam doors excessively, fight, yell horrible things to each other, have friends over yelling at like 2 am (last night for example)

Leave the doors unlocked and open?? We cant even lock the front door anymore??? (Dw the doors to our rooms all have locks. If I’m in my room or out of the house, my door is locked)

Constantly throw around the r slur. Like. All the time. Including one person having called me it. Y i k e s

One person keeps smoking in the house even though i’ve asked numerous times (and even have a note on my door) asking people to please smoke outside, it gives me headaches. You are physically hurting me stop.

Don’t Clean Anything. The kitchen is a wreck. The toilets are constantly clogging, I Am In Hell.

For context: the house is a one story house divided into a main floor and finished basement. It’s a rooming house and the basement is largely seperate from upstairs. (They have a kitchen door that they keep closed and locked.) The stairs to the basement are split into two smaller flights, with a landing in between the floors. That’s where the side door is. The public spaces upstairs are the kitchen (connects to stairs), the hallway, and the two bathrooms (big main one, tiny water closet by the front door). The rest of the upstairs is split into five rooms. For comprehension sake, we’ll call my roommates: The Couple (M&F), A, T, and J.

Mmkay lets start with the least egregious and move our way up, shall we? Theft! Of anything and everything! No one can have anything out in the public areas if they actually care about it. It. Will. Get. Stolen. Now, I have a mini fridge and the second biggest room here, so I’m lucky in that 99% of my groceries, as well as all my other belongings, fit in my room. There’s just a wee problem: I don’t have a freezer. Not to fear, past naïve me thought, I’ll just clean out and use the locked freezer since I still have the keys for that fridge! (We have two fridges and food theft was a problem beforehand and so me and my friend who lived here cleaned out the second fridge to use as our own and kept it locked.) I decided to do this after I had bought myself some ice cream, wrote my name on the top, and put it in the main freezer. I go to have some ice cream later that week, I open the tub for the first time (as in I removed the seal holding the lid onto the tub) to find that someone eaten half the tub of ice cream while making it seem like it hadn’t been opened. I know it happened at home bc the spoon marks were clear as day and I have to walk 20 minutes back from the grocery store. That woulda melted by then (Also I would’ve noticed at the store that. The tub was hella lopsided??? And way too light???) So yea of course I’m ticked now, I spent 6 bucks on that bro like just ask or get ur own??? So I put it the other freezer, and for a while it’s fine. Next month I decide to treat myself to some frozen waffles and some chicken strips and come home to find that the hinges holding the locks onto the doors of the fridge were torn out of the fridge/freezer doors. Like. The screws were pried outta this metal door rendering the locks completely useless (to the point i wouldn’t even be able to put the hinges back on.) And the cherry on top?? My ice cream was gone!!! Hope u enjoyed it, asshole. So whatever. Fine. I put my food away and. a week later?? Im like “Man i could go for some waffles rn”. I bought 2 8 packs. One chocolate chip, one cinnamon (y’all i literally buy the cheapest ones Zehrs sells. 2,19$ a box y’all. not even eggos). Surprise surprise!! The entire box of choccy chip ones GONE. Mind u, i wrote my name on all of these boxes, as well as a very large “DO NOT EAT”. so i begrudgingly had a couple (note that, 2) cinnamon waffles and move on. A couple days later I go to have some more and. The waffles are completely gone. Out of a total of 16 waffles, ya boy got a solid 2. (It’s worth noting that there was a single waffle left, but at 0,27$ a waffle, I didn’t mind leaving the box on the table with a note basically reading “these are cheap af, buy ur own bitch”.) (I didn’t swear that much tho)

I’d add the bike to the list but i can’t confirm nor deny that one of my roommates stole my tires and seat off my bike (although M does work on bikes all the time so man idk.)

Next up: wow people here are l o u d. I’m talking slamming doors all the time, slamming things around, yelling, playing music wildly loud. It’s awful. Like. You can just. Close the door quietly? Stop slamming things around please? It’s awful because loud sudden noises make me panic and lemme tell ya, wakin up at eight am bc your a-hole roommate decided to slam the door eight times bc the front door is broken because someone took the border around the jamb off instead of fixing it so we can actually?? lock that door?? because it doesnt quite fit in the jamb and so the only wat to lock it was the chain lock and. someone took that too so thats fun :)))))). The side door isn’t that much better. We have a code lock and. No One Ever Locks It. Like. I’ll come outta room and?? It’s just open????? Close the door???????????

The worst, however, is the fucking fighting. The Couple love to argue all the time. and yell at each other and slam the doors or smashing shit and they yell pretty awful things to each other. Like. I’ve heard M call his gf some awful shit. It’s worse when they have people over too. The other day there were like. 14 cops in here bc of them at like 2 am. Cue me, 2 am, trying to watch a livestream and seeing like??? Six cop cars pull up????? Wh a t????? Not fun not good for my brain.

God and. What is with everyone and the r slur??? Like what?? there are so many words you can choose stop using that word. Like okay the other night someone?? took the dc adapter for the wireless modem and one of the dudes downstairs as well as the couple were looking to see if they had a compatible dc adapter and so i just decided to wait?? and i just spaced out a bit okay whatever i was lookin at the wall like i do and fuckin. the couple had a couple friends over and one of em was chillin between the kitchen and the hall and M yells out from his room “Hey don’t you feel weird with this creepy ass bitch standing next to you? Like what is she, m*ntally r*tarded?” like wow okay dude i’m literally not doing anything. Luckily his friends reaction was basically “?? She lives here?? She can stand there if she wants??” (wow referring to myself as she feels weird and wrong).

A big problem I have is I feel like theres a community in this house that I just don’t fit into? Part of it is I’m like. the only person here who doesn’t do drugs of any kind?? Like I have nothing against ppl who use drugs like whatever bro, but it feels super othering to me when i can’t relate to anyone here because of it. That and. Getting T in particular but really just anyone but A to respect me asking that if you’re going to smoke anything to do it outside because weed and to a lesser extent cigarette smoke trigger my sensory disorder and causes me pain and causes sensory overload and I still find myself asking people to smoke outside.Like I’ve never been unreasonable and said “no drugs in the house” or some bs. I’m just asking u to respect my disability thanks.And like?? I’ll get into this in a second but there were needles in the toilet?? Bro throw them out properly.

And now: Hell.

Can no one clean up after themselves?? Do your dishes. If theres food left on your plate, throw it out first, don’t dump it in the sink. Seriously the kitchen sink is fucked. The kitchen is gross. The microwave ugh ugh ugh no thanks. No one can clean everything. This is why all my cookware and dishes are in my room. That way I can make sure I 1) Still Own It and 2) Its clean and usable. I clean them as I go and just use my own shit.

Nothing compares to the bathrooms, though. It seems like every other day one of the toilets are clogged. Last week there were spoons in the sink?? Like at least 10 spoons. In the bathroom sink. The floor is dirty because no one owns a mop and?? there was one in the kitchen?? I haven’t seen it in like a month. And the worst of all. Okay, it’s really bad when every one up here is between like. 16 and 19 I think? And I had to put up a sign in the bathroom asking people to flush when you’re done??? And I still have to flush before I can use the washroom???? And it feels like every week or so. The toilet’s clogged. Oh! I forgot to mention that the water closet doesn’t even have a doorknob anymore. Someone took it. But wait, it gets worse. Seriously if extremely unsanitary things bother u, stop reading now.

Twice in the past month I’ve had to contact the landlord because the toilets were beyond clogged. The first time was bad but oh lord nothing compares to the second time (aka last week). The first time was your pretty standard toilet clogs and backs up and its very gross. I contacted the landlord and it was fixed the next day and it was fine. For. Two Days. Im serious. See. People here have a real issue it seems of “The person before me didn’t flush so neither will I”, leading to a toilet bowl full of like. a half a roll of toilet paper and waste. F u n. What that led to was the toilet clogging, people not doing anything about it, and continuing to use it. Eventually the toilet bowl was full, so trow a shopping bag over the lid to mark the toilet as “Out of order” and move on to the other one.Both toilets were completely unusable. I emailed the landlord and i don’t know if either they or one of the people living here contacted them, but the old landlord and old property manager were here the other day to clean them out and fix them?? and yea among all the standard waste you’d expect in a toilet, there were needles? Like buddy theres a trash can right there? I know u had the needle caps bc they were in there too. just... disgusting...

bro this is just what i can think of off the top of my head i know theres more but oh no this is so long now. just. this is a lot more detail than u wanted but i wanted to get this out of my brain??

[primeadv]

SITS DOWN

PULLS OUT 10 GIANT ALBUMS :))) 

(this came out way longer than I intended im so fuckgkdsdf sory)

How I feel about this character: EVERYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS I’M IN LOVE WIHT RATCHET. I love him in all iterations of Transformers because he’s always the tired, pragmatic one of the group. In contrast, he’s also almost tiredly optimistic in some ways. He won’t get out of bed, but if someone gets shot in the head he’ll spend however long and beyond to resuscitate them. There’s 2 halves to this--the me who identifies with the beating exhaustion he exudes, and the me who’s in awe that he’ll still fight his way through life.  I won’t... get into each continuity...because that’s too much, so I’ll stick with probably the most unpopular version of him and that’s IDW (my impression, anyway). IDW Ratchet gets a lot of flack for being way too sour and like, maybe not selfish, but uncaring. He cares! A lot! He’s always thinking about everyone in really surprisingly thoughtful ways. Like when he’s 90% sure he’ll die due to Overlord and his last words are to promote First Aid to CMO (he’s ready!! god that’s sweet), and to give his hands to Whirl (though maybe a bit blindsided, he’s paid attention to some roots of Whirl’s trauma). Or yeah he’s hella mean to Drift in the beginning, but when Drift is dying in his arms he’s scREAMING at him “you’re gonna make it! You’re gonna be fine because I’m gonna make sure you’re gonna be fine”. He can be an asshole, but he knows the time and place. Death isn’t something to play with--he’s seen probably countless friends die, and he doesn’t want that to happen again. Even now, even after the war.  So I feel very confused when ppl act like he’s this mean, cold person. He’s exTREMELY emotional. He’s probably way too invested in everyone’s lives, honestly? He interrupts a round table story for Rung just to reminisce on the veery last time he, OP, and Roller were together in the same room (not even hanging out or anything, just being together one last time. who remembers that after 5+ millions years??). He started an illegal clinic in the bad part of town because he wanted to put his skills to better use! Like! LOL.  ALSO, a point that i think is unfair is that ppl think his atheism is just really mean. IT is! But I think it shows just how much of an emotional and extremely, deeply hurt person he is. It gets aggravating when he’s condescending of religion, because there’s no simple logic to it. He reacts the way he does because he’s a hurt person who’s gone through years of trauma and this is his way of coping. Is it healthy or right? Nah, but it’s humanizing. It’s why when he becomes closer to Drift he occupies this weird between space where he snarks but also tries to indulge more in perspectives outside of his own in his own dumb old tsundere way. He’s a person who believes in justice, ultimately, and religion to him doesn’t fall under justice.  ALSO, can I say that his inability to say good byes is so.. like relatable? I have rly bad social anxiety, and so I’ve definitely ghosted people who’ve been nothing but really supportive for me. It’s not because I wanted to burn them, but it freaks you out needing to, not even say goodbye, but communicate with ppl. And for Ratchet--how many times was he FORCED to say good bye to friends + patients who were dying beyond his help? Maybe, if he could help it, he doesn’t want to say goodbye. And it’s tragic the times he’s just left, these were people who ended up either dying for falling astray into insanity, i.e., beyond his help. But he learns. He chases after Drift, who he actually said, in a way, good bye to (helping him off the floor after being attacked, also I should point out that a very tiny handful of people were comfortable interacting w/ Drift at all, and how much Ratchet just doesn’t give a shit abt how other ppl think abt him. he’ll help drift off the floor bc t’s the right thing to do). He says goodbye in his old dumb way--First Aid calls him out on it. ALSO his trust in First Aid is super cute. ALSO he’s like.. genuinely nice to Ten (he helped him get a date with Minimus!!!). And he’s not afraid to call out on other ppl’s bullshit (telling rodi straight you dont deserve to be captain which, at the time, was really true). He’s also SUPER smart. Also there’s that post on tumblr that pointed out that Ratchet immediately goes to deescalate conflict. He’s willing to put aside pride and anything if it means ultimately coming to a resolution where EVERYONE involved is safe. The only time he doesn’t is FUCKING OVERLORD who he rightfully, immediately, tries to briefly incapacitate to lockdown his medibay (protect patients/information). Ok I gotta stop I can go on forever just going page to page. Also, despite my love, I can totally point out his flaws. He’s grating when it’s unnecessary, he’s abhorrently bad at communicating, he’s privileged, he’s narrow-minded at times, etc. ec. But again what I love about him is that despite all that, he’ll throw his own self out the window for others’s well-being bc he genuinely, genuinellyyy cares about other people. If only he could care for himself //cries All the people I ship romantically with this character OH god... everyone. He’s my bicycle.  ok look, ya’ll know I’m an intense dratchet shipper and I could literally write a god damn essay. ... here’s another essay???!! So, I’ma be real, I wasn’t a super dratchet shipper before. I wasn’t anti (i have no notps), but I was just “yeah they’re cute i guess haha”. But 99.99% the reason why I ship anything is all for super cute adorable fanart. and I kept drawing them because 1) ratchet’s my fav, 2) drift is super popular so I figured I should learn to draw him. And they became the only 2 mechs I could draw. I used to be way more into Scavengers + megarod. I used to only like 1 dratchet fanfic and that’s bc it was less romantic and more plot centric (still a fav tho). Then I kept seeing cute fanart, I would read posts by other dratchet shippers too about what makes them so nice? And I was yeah.. oh yeah. And it doesn’t help that in Lost Light, drift is CONSTANTLY by Ratchet’s side. He’s constantly checking up on him and holding him and touching him, like as if Ratchet is the thing that he needs to make sure, at all costs, is safe.  In Drift’s life, Ratchet is the one who appears to him when he needs support the most but is in the most denial of it. When Drift is at the brink of death, overdosed and about to be broken apart and Orion brings him to Ratchet’s clinic. Ratchet patches him up pro-bono and tells him that he sees something special in him.  like??? can you imagine how that feels? To have no one believe in you--you don’t even believe in yourself, and yet here’s this person who tells you “you’re gonna be great”. And it totally doesn’t hit Drift in anyway, at least in a way that’s tangible to him, until much later in life. Or maybe it does (hey, how do you weave character narratives when it’s been written by like 3 different ppl shrugs). And that statement means 2 different things to them. To Drift, it’s a reminder that he’s worth something, even if it’s a sliver of nearly nothing to hold onto. To Ratchet, it’s a reminder that the greatness he saw led to the deaths of thousands of people.  HEY can you imagine this person you saved, patched up, tried to encourage, ended up being a mass serial killer in the future? (have you ever read Monster by Naoki Urusawa). Ended up killing people you loved?  So it’s no wonder that a good part of Ratchet is absolutely mad at Drift. And I think if that was all, they probably would’ve ended up being amicable. But Drift also ended up being super religious and seeing the hand and primus in everything and oh my god is this person really waxing poetry on the value of life when he, himself, shot several bullets at me at one point?  I also believe they are uncomfortably similar as they are different. The reason why they constantly butt heads is they’re two people trying to escape a past they don’t want and found complete opposite ways to cope with their losses. Drift found religion, Ratchet is gratingly pragmatic, and they see each other and go “how could this guy choose to be this way?”. I’ve heard ppl like to cite the annual as the reason why they could never work out. BUT, can I point out, that they act around each other in a way they don’t with anyone else? Drift gets SO MAD. Ratchet gets extremely talkative and incredibly personal (pulled out an electro slug from someone’s spark, holy shit that fucking traumatized you didn’t it??). They challenge each other emotionally, and it’s so fucking difficult bc they’re both extremely depressed and suffer from PTSD and would probably rather just go on their dumb space adventure and look at stars--take 2 emotionally constipated idiots and you get them. And hell no, don’t tell me Drift is in-tune with his feelings bc he’s 10000% not. He uses religion to cope with a past and life that he doesn’t want to think about. He tries to re-contextualize himself because he hates who he is. OUCHHH. And Ratchet MAKES him confront the parts of himself he hates--bc Ratchet has seen his worst traits and isn’t afraid to make him think about it.  So why do they work out eventually? They realize how important they are to each other. Delphi, Drift saves Ratchet’s life while he’s barely holding onto his own because he probably feels like he owes Ratchet his own life. And that’s a huge turning point in their relationship--Ratchet sees that... Drift tries really really fucking hard. My friend Zig pointed out that post-Delphi, Drift is eating energon w/ chopsticks (what a fucking nerd), and you can see in a later panel that Ratchet (who chose to sit next to Drift) is using those chopsticks too. IT’s such a small thing, but they’re becoming closer by sharing and learning from each other. And then Drift takes the fall and leaves. And Ratchet realizes just how important Drift’s presence is in his life. I mentioned it already lol but the scene where Ratchet helps Drift up off the floor and it’s superimposed with the love message Rewind left for CD. They care about each other so much!! And Ratchet chases after him!! HOLY SHIT. If that isn’t romance, what is?? lol I kid, but it’s obvious just how important Drift’s presence meant to him. IT’s really because they became so so so close in a way that can’t be described as just friends. They deeply understand each other in really uncomfortable ways and bring out the absolute worst and absolute best in each other. And this point is where Ratchet again appears when Drift doesn’t realize he needs someone in his life. Drift thinks he can be a loner and just float aimlessly and voicelessly--hell no! He needs friends, he needs community. He NEEDs belonging, because he wants to belong somewhere. And Ratchet helps bridge him back to friends and found family.  And Ratchet slowly changes the more he’s with Drift. He reads religious text and tries to brag about it bc he’s a dumb tsundere lol but he’s trying to understand Drift’s interests more even if it takes a decade and more to get there. And Drift values him for being his rock. That’s why he’s constantly making sure Ratchet is safe and unharmed, because he owes at least that much to him. And yeah they eventually fall in love because they value each other in a way they haven’t anyone else. IM EMO I CAN GO ONE, this all probably didn’t make a whole lot of sense but yeah. I’m just so soft to the fact that they’re horribly hurt people who don’t know how to redirect their pain, but by being together they come out healthier and more confident. IT’S RLY ROMANTIC IDKKK My non-romantic OTP for this character As much as I also love OpRatch, they are also great best friend platonic ship. They know each other best, they’ve been through SO MUCH together. It’s honestly a shame they barely interact in IDW bc the small tidbits we have, they obviously deeply respect each other’s opinions and deeply value the relationship they’ve had over the past millions of years.  I’m also all for non-romanceOTP for dratchet because I can totally imagine they go to each other to talk about things they feel uncomfortable sharing with others (they’ve seen the absolute worst of each other afterall).  My unpopular opinion about this character I don’t... think I ahve one. Some ppl view my love for his as grating lol.  One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. Medic spin off.

[hiraethstill]

THIS WEEK ON DAIYA NO ACE (7/30)

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!

LIVEBLOG:

mochi... you care so much and i love you

and miyuki does too

BOI AND BOTH OF THEM CARING ABOUT EIJUN AND GETTING HIS MESSAGE

man... im not okay

im n ot okay

god kurami WHY YOU GOTTA ATTACC ME FIRST THING

their cheeky bastard while secretly caring dynamic im

breathes heavily

and making each other feel better through joking

still not okay

furuya apologized? okay okay

lmao furusawa sniping at each other

eijun... maybe part of the reason you are how you are is because you put so much on your shoulders

"the part about you sucking is true" oh dear

asakuki faces always priceless haha

BLESS WATANABE HISASHI

"nabe-san" im SOFT

and ive been told -san is more respectful than senpai sOOO

AWAAH MANAGERSSS

WAIT

OMG

IM

NO

SCREM

AAAAAAAA

NABE-CHAN???????? 

N A B E  F U C K I N G  CH A N ???/??/???

MOCHINABE R I G HT SSSSSSSS

okay but i'm proud of angery child anna and her huge rice ball

they really doin kuki dirty with this animation

HSKDJGH TAKU LMAOO

ah yes masashi i feel this on a spiritual level

wHY IS ASADA SO HECKIN CUTE

whoever's on the mound is ace huh

yess jersey numbers gone

hansom boyos

oh they HAD to put takatsu there...

i live when kurami is in a screen together, which is like always

NABE NO HONORIFIC

HOW MANY BOYFRIENDS DOES NABE HAVE LMAO

"CAN I COME TO YOUR ROOM LATER" lmaooo

I LOVE NORI SO MUCH

ooh pretty eijun shot

NABEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

MIYUKI DAS GAY

NABE COMPLIMENTING SAWAMURA

more pretty eijun

im sobbing, eijun always thinking he doesnt meet expectations and everyone else knowing he outshines them 

COMMUNICATE TO HIM PEOPLE

lmaooo zono

also kurami das gay

MI Y U K I

DAS G A   Y

AAAAA TETSU-SANNNN COME BACK AND NOT JUST IN NARRATION

hiranocchi... are you suddenly kise ryouta, mei?

THAT "WHAT??!!" IM MCFUCKING DYING

lmao miyuki's teacher voice came out

INAJITSU BATTERS DOIN JOBSSS

ITSUKI WTF THAT WAS TOO CUTE YOU'RE BANCELLED

nori pitching for practice!!

yes eijun get in that work

SHKDGJSDG EIJUN'S FACE IN MIYUKIS ROOM

AND WHEN DID ALL THESE PEOPLE GET HERE

oh koushuu

omg teacher miyuki strikes again

tbh i want a fic where miyuki is a teacher...

the pitchers are so :0 and :| idk how else to explain it but they're so focused its so cute

koushuu buddy wyd get in there

I LOVE THE FIRSTIES BEING SO IN AWE OF EIJUN

W

WA

WAI

WAIT

C

CH

CHR

CHRI

CHRIS

CHRIS-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

I MISSED YOU CHRIS-SAN

HE LOOKS EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL WTFFFF

and miyuki is there on the side too hehehe

god i forgot how lovely and deep and gentle/quiet? chris's voice is

SCREEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMM

EIJUN STILL THINKS ABOUT CHRIS-SAN'S WORDS

EIJUN STILL LETS THEM GOVERN HOW HE PLAYS BASEBALL

IM NOT OKAY

CALL THE AMBULANCE I AM  N    O     T OKA Y YYY

C HRISAWA

AND TETSU-SAN OMGGGGGGGGGG

WHYYYYYYYY

TANBA-SAAAAAAAAAN

WAIT tanba's words sound awfully like what kataoka said earlier

who was drawing from who?

"seep deeper" i MIGHT ACTUALLY CRY

"and become a part of me" I AM T HIS FUCKING CLOSE

BREATHES

OKAY

OKAY

beautiful

also itsuki batting great!!

I WAS LITERALLY JUST THINKING "WHEN WILL I SEE MY OTHER INAJITSU BOIS"

ay inajitsu win!

aw man amahisa didnt pitch? :c

best pitcher in japan? somewhere in the bg hongou is laughing his ass off

im sorry that was rude

but hongou really is the best

lmao koushuu "i like the look in your eyes" is gay

HMM.... koushuu wanting to be as candid about his desires

love that in a character

omg blunt as always"your behavior yesterday was quite good" this paired with the thing about desire and liking the look in your eyes screams kousawa rights lmaoo

koushuu bls - don't tell your senpai off damn lmao

harder to read might be harder sure, but eijun doesnt really work that way, no?

"you do rate me" "lets drop everything between us" WHY DOES THIS KEEP GETTING GAYER

KOUSHUU'S IMAGINATION STRIKES AGAIN

THIS GROWL AHAHAHA

"i havent earned the right" okay while this is sweet youre gonna have to catch for him more bc miyuki aint around for much longer so better start earlier

wow pretty

LMAO "WE HAD A REALLY GOOD THING GOING"

koushuu the emo

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

THEY

THEMST

THEMSTDVE

WHERE ARE THE ADOPTION PAPERS I SIGNED LONG AGO

THEYRE SO TINY IM

OH MY GOD

IM LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND

BLUSHY KOUSHUU AND CHEEKY TAKU BUT L I TTLER

THE LITTLE GIGGLE IM DEVASTATED

LITTLE TAKU'S VOICE

hmmst koushuu's mom looks white tbh

half like chris and carlos????

koushuu unbearably cute and i just noticed taku has different glasses, no? wonder what happened to the old ones

wow look at koushuu's grim determined face

and taku's expression... he'd follow koushuu to the ends of the earth im telling you...

damn son that's some face you got thereso dramatic tho pls dont die

taku's little "wuh?" sound when koushuu said he was going to seidou is the Cutest Thing Ever

"kind of??" LMAO

boi... what about nori... and kaneda... and kawashima........ SEIDOU IS INTERESTING PITCHER LAND

SOBBINGGGG OF COURSE YOU CAN ENJOY IT DONT LET THE PAST HAUNT YOU

I LOVE YOUUUU

also highkey all those miyuki shots from koushuu's perspective das gay

SOBSSS YOUR STRENGTH WILL TAKE YOU FAR I SWEAR

preview

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ALL THESE KUKI SHOTS

IS IT INTRASQUAD NEXT

IM SO READY IM SO HYPED

SHOW ME ASADA'S CURVEBALL AND KUKI'S PITCHING

AAAAAAA IM SO HYPEDDD

SUMMARY:

kurami Feels

furusawa yelling about who lost bigger

nabe has 238203 bfs

jersey #'s gone

Miyuki's Teacher Voice

EIJUN STILL THINKS ABOUT CHRIS-SAN

ALUMNI CAMEOS

inajitsu win!

KOUTAKU BUT SMOLER

koushuu the Emo Gay

kukis next week!

SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!

[bottomakoto]

your favorite fics ? :D (sfw or nsfw, whatever)

haha its been so long since i properly read harumako fic ^^ so hopefully these will hold up~ (also go ahead and assume that basically all of these are nsfw lol)

there are a lot of fics, so i put it under a cut~

♥Multichapter♥

♥ Dead Reckoning - by furiosity

In which Tachibana Makoto could do with a little less introspection and a little more faith. 

(this one is from makoto’s perspective and its complete, and even though there’s switching, makoto does bottom

♥ His Camera - by LensMind

Haru never expected to use his savings to become a member of a gay porn site, but after recognizing the chest of his best friend and housemate masturbating on an amateur porn site, he didn’t really feel like he had a choice. And then things started to get out of hand…((AKA. The AU where Makoto is a cam actor that no one asked for))

(this fic will always be one of my personal favorites and i honestly just go back and reread it every few months or so! its so funny and cute! i just love it so much, and i keep hoping the author will continue it lol ♥ ♥ ♥))

♥ Interspecies Bonding - by teicakes

It all starts when Rin suggests Makoto spends more time in the ocean to get over his fear, but soon enough he’s in (quite literally) over his head. Story of two species trying to understand one another, and the ties that form along the way

(another one of my all time favs!! it starts off with smut, with a tiny little bit of angst and communication and fluff and more smut!!♥ i just really love makoto with mermaid haru~ rin is also really funny in this and i love his and makoto’s friendship! this fic is honestly so good and reread it all the time~)

♥ Shake the Heavens - by Ad_Astra

Sometimes, even gods need to make sacrifices. Sometimes, miracles can be created by imperfect beings. Always, there is a choice.A HaruMako + Rin mythos, where Haruka is the god of the ocean, Rin is the god of death, and Makoto is the mortal living an anomalous existence between their realms.

(i haven’t read this one in ages, so i don’t remember it very well.. but its complete and i remember this one wrenching my heart and i definitely cried a few times, so it was probably really good!! i need to reread it again^^…))

♥ Baby, Oh, Something’s Gotta Give - by thoughtless_dreamer

Makoto is whatever his family needs him to be. A son, an older brother-a perfect role model. It’s a 24/7 job and he fulfills it happily. If means putting his own wants and needs on hold, what of it? They come first. He can wait. He just hadn’t counted on Haru stepping in to say enough was enough.

(this will always be one of my favorite fics♥ just makoto setting all of his own needs aside to take care of everyone else in his life to the point of his own detriment,, and haru taking care of makoto for a change… its so good♥ ♥ ♥ everything by this author is amazing~)

♥ I Thee Wed - by sauntering_down

kink meme prompt: So, when they were younger, Mako and Haru “got married.” Fast forward to high school. Maybe Makoto is being flirted with/asked out and Haru pretty much states Makoto is already happily married.

(okay so this one is a one-shot, but its pretty long and its one of my favorites so im putting it here,, its basically just makoto and haru getting married over and over again and its literally the cutest thing ever,, no matter how many times i reread this, it always manages to make me cry just from the sweetness;; so cute and fluffy and just so good and i how i like to imagine their relationship growing up together♥ ♥ ♥)

♥ Heat Confession - by MiladyAlluca

Haru’s crush takes a turn during a fruitless study session when he sees Makoto wearing a new leather wrist band that unsettles him down to his gut…because he likes it. Now exploring their sexuality and kinks to test their boundaries and learn their options, they figure out just the right rhythm they both want and need.

(haha i haven’t read this one in a really long time, but i remember really liking it and im p sure its pure smut lmao♥)

♥One-Shots♥

♥ The Ordinary Life - by Ad_Astra

At the end of their first year of living together, Haruka thinks that cohabitation isn’t exactly what he thought it would be.It’s better.

(when s2 first came out, i really didn’t agree with the ending and im still not super jazzed about pro haru.. so this au just feels so nice to read!! its also just really good and its that nice domestic harumako that i crave♥)

♥ Big Love - by thoughtless_dreamer

It’s not that Makoto doesn’t feel absolutely loved. No, Haru has always made sure that Makoto feels completely adored, from his hair to his toes. It’s just a thought, a feeling, something niggling at the back of his mind whenever they change for practice or shop for new swimsuits at the mall.So he’s self-conscious about his body. Who ever has to know?

(ahhh this is one of my favorite fics!! so good♥ it was written by a sweet friend of my mine for one of my prompts and its honestly so good!!, more of haru taking care of makoto♥ ♥ ♥))

since this is starting to get pretty long, i think i’ll change up the formatting a bit for the rest of the one-shots^^

♥ Normalcy be Damned - ThePursuit: nsfw that super nice bed sharing~

♥ Mawwaige - thoughtless_dreamer: sfw makoto and haru “get married” playing with the twins (super cute fluff)

♥ Finger Slip > Touch and Go - thoughtless_dreamer: nsfw two-parter with haru sexting makoto and then following up on those sexts~

♥ You Know You Make Me Wanna- > Shout! - thoughtless_dreamer: nsfw two-parter with haru and makoto having sex in the classroom during lunch, and the sequel being haru tying makoto up~♥

♥ Drawing the Comparison - thoughtless_dreamer: nsfw the must-have bathtub sex fic~ (its so good!♥)

♥ Promises, Promises - thoughtless_dreamer: nsfw poor jealous makoto and haru reassuring him~

♥ Stress Relief - Tecc: nsfw haru giving makoto massages~

♥ We Are One and the Same - PileOnThePink: nsfw short but sweet pwp of haru giving makoto multiple orgasms~ ((im p sure the whole collection is also really good~)

♥ 3:16am - Thesis: nsfw haru has a nightmare and slips into bed with makoto (this fic is honestly just so good and so sweet,, ahh, i love it so much♥)

♥ Concentration - A_Lesbian_With_Pink_Hair: nsfw another fic of haru taking care of makoto and expressing to him that he’s good enough (bc this is apparently my weakness lol)

♥ Pizza Delivery! - Arashe: sfw a short, cute fic about pizza delivery boy makoto bringing pizzas to an attractive stranger (haru)

> ♥ My Fic Tag ♥

and here’s also a few fic recs i had bookmarked lol:

♥ smut fic rec

♥ top!haru fics

♥ fluff fic rec

♥ makoharu fanfic masterlist

i’m sure there are a ton of my favs that im forgetting, but i hope you’ll be able to find something you’ll love!~♥ (and of course, my inbox is always open to bottom makoto fic recommendations~))

[this-brownie]

3.31.20

it feels therapeutic to write things out and be able to put my thoughts into words that I can visualize. I, sadly, had to stop writing in my old blog because Tumblr locked me out of it because I no longer had access to that Email…fucking yahoo and 2007 emails…anyway. I want to do a continuation from that blog so I will be making quite some posts about my past, starting from around April 2016.

https://somebrownie.tumblr.com

lets begin with a little background. so dad died on April 16 2017, but he had been sick for years before that. it first started off with slurred speech almost like he was drunk or something, which was when I was in tenth grade, and then progressed to him not being able to speak at all, resorting to writing on paper to communicate with us, not being able to eat solid foods anymore, having to get a tube attached onto his throat, bringing in medical equipment that was situated on his bed while he slept, and eventually having to move to a nursing home completely where he spent his final two years. I am not going to discuss what a domineering and prideful man he was, what a workaholic he was, how he tried to show us his love and affection through money and materialism, or how his death impacted me. those can be discussed at a later time. 

one positive result that came from this situation is that I had a little more freedom in pursuing the life I wanted. my mom always looked to him for guidance on every decision— I knew I wouldn't be able to marry the person who I loved because he would never allow it. Levi is a jew after all and as a muslim im supposed to hate him, of course. after he died, my mom became severely lost— she had never been completely independent. however, she still had her reservations when I told her who I wanted to marry. I had to be extremely forward, logical, and manipulative about it because old habits and a lifetime of molded mentality don't wash away that easily. a few factors helped me achieve my goal: I was in the process of graduating and had no means to get a job in my field because I didnt have the legal papers to reside in this country. by getting married, I would obtain a green card which would allow me to make money and make use of my degree. also, there was less pressure to uphold an image for our distant family and relatives— people had naturally started distancing themselves the sicker my dad became. less wealth flowed into our house meaning less parties to throw, less opportunities to give gifts to others, and less reasons to cook fancy food. this all contributed to people checking up less on my mom— all these people who she hold so dearly, couldn't give less of a fuck when they had nothing to benefit them. I asked her, are these the people youre trying to impress? is this the reason you want to hold me back? because it won't look good to THEM even tho they don't help us  at all? even while we are struggling? the last sneaky tactic I pulled was telling her that there are several friends who are willing to marry me, but at a cost. only one person who is willing to do it without a charge (good old Levi haha). and to my utter shock, she slowly agreed. I wasn't sure if she completely understood so I confirmed…”you know that means I have to live with him right…in case the lawyers check?” she said she understood and was okay with it. sweet success. that was June 2018.. in a couple months we will have been married for two years now.

Levi and I have been seeing each other since 2011. so our marriage was….a long time coming to say the least. luckily I had the chance to meet almost all of his immediate family members before we fully committed. the first people I met were his aunt candy and uncle chuck way back in 2013 for thanksgiving, and then again for Levis graduation ceremony in 2014. I've gone over for thanksgiving and passover dinners throughout the years as well. I met Levis parents for the first time in 2015 (I think) in boston and I was deathly nervous. his dad used to teach Jewish studies at both Harvard and yale—he's retired but still gets invited to conferences to gives speeches around the world. his mom opened a free after school program to teach poor children who don't have access to educational resources. so ofc I was so nervous I could hardly breathe. I wore a cute, not too revealing, dress and minimal makeup. thankfully, they steered the conversation and actually didnt interrogate me too much. we mostly just told stories which was nice. I remember one conversation where I talked about my degree in linguistics, my affinity for learning and understanding how languages work, and seamlessly adding an anecdote from a tv show that Levi and I watched from just the night before. the person on tv, I think he may have been European, wasn't able to pronounce the word “skewer” which I found very interesting because there are many sounds our tongues can't produce because we are not used to moving them in that certain way. something about the brain and tongue not being able to make the connection between the ways a foreign word is spelled and the different areas it has intonations. like, native Spanish speakers would have a difficult time saying an English word that starts with ‘sp’ like “special” or ‘sk’ in “school” because in their language the letter s isn't followed by another consonant; the sound of the letter ‘e’ always precedes the ‘s’ (like if you were to literally sound out the letter ‘s’)-- so a speaker would pronounce it as “especial”. anyway! I told his parents this tidbit that I found intriguing and added that Levi isn't able to pronounce the sound ‘gh’ but his dad was able to make all those sounds perfectly! which impressed me and put a smile on my face. his mom, who is French, was practicing the different sounds herself (not properly) and his dad just makes eye contact with me, rolls his eyes in a goofy way aimed at his wife, which cracked me up because here is this sweet woman trying her best and her silly husband secretly, but lovingly, making fun of her. it touched me because it felt so tender and genuine, when I had never really seen something like that exchanged in between my own parents.

I met his younger sister and middle brother, but only after we got married. his sister alissa is a such a sweet, quiet, docile woman who really looks up to and adores Levi. she used to stay near us while she studied law at nyu. his brother David is animated, quirky yet can be very serious, and is very kind as well. I probably didnt leave a good first impression because the three of us had been walking to a restaurant and this HUGE man and his huge ass fucking dog purposely bumped into me, in order to get by me. I don't think Ive ever gotten that angry at a stranger. I was actually in pain at how hard he smacked into me. I started cursing and Levi was shocked that I was being so loud/violent especially in front of his family member. I just said “did you see his fucking size? did he really need half the block just ti get past me?” in my head im thinking, its because im a small woman that he knows he can get away with it. and then Levi finally realized the gravity of the situation and said “should I go talk to him?” but the man had already walked away at this point. I calmed down at that point thinking, yes im gonna let my tiny husband fight this massive douche bag. I apologized to david and we just continued on.

I never got a chance to meet levi’s eldest brother, wife and youngest kids until I visited Israel (different post!) but I did meet hilly, their oldest daughter when she visited nyc with Levis parents. she's sweet, a bit of a rebel, maybe even hotheaded and insecure like the way I was when I was a teen. I enjoyed spending time with her and gifted her a bunch of lipsticks/glosses and a mascara from Sephora when we all had to say goodbye. I think she felt comfortable that I was younger because she opened up to me about her boyfriend, and told me to keep it a secret. I knew she liked me too because once Levi and I finally got married, she told him that she knew we were going to get married as soon as she met me.

even though I had a lot of luxuries as a child, I never truly experienced unconditional love without trauma or negativity. others may have it worse, but I had what I had. I've dealt with it and come away from it as a better person thanks to Levi. I feel happy to call them my family now, and that they accept me without hesitation despite me being muslim, or much younger. I still feel shy to talk to them on the WhatsApp group chat but im working on it! 

[sabergowitz]

GHD

Groundhog Day Broadway reaction post!!!! I’ve been waiting to see it for like a year and a half, and boy howdy do I like this show. I saw one preview, opening night, and once front row! General thoughts, plus a section at the bottom for opening night specifically (aka me stressing unnecessarily about his injury)

Disclaimer one: I wrote about spoilers, stuff I like, stuff I don’t like, staging, the whole nine. largely show-chronological. may not make sense to you unless you’ve seen the show

Disclaimer two: I wrote this on a bus in the middle of the night so it is not the most coherent. 

tl;dr all the people who say “i’m too busy literally spinning on bill murray’s dick to even consider seeing this show” can suck my fucking toe

ACT I

one of the screens in the beginning shows phil talking about the weather on mars? wot is tha abah

that beginning-of-frozen/come from away swag in ‘there will be sun’, that mountain sound. one of the reviewers pointed this out too

I saw one of the reviewers say that not one song was memorable to them after the show??? I don’t know what they were smoking, because I’ve had ‘day one’/””””small town usa”””” stuck in my head since I first saw it

the punxsutawney jingle is so disneyland-ready it’s scary

barrett never enunciates "flood" story. the first time I heard it I was like "blood story? wat"

Also re: barrett -- she fits the character so well and I LOVE her singing voice!!! I think her acting is mostly In Service Of andy, which, duh -- but I’d like her to (and I have confidence she will) make it her own/a little more individual/idiosyncratic. Just the three performances I’ve seen I think she’s growing into it/getting more comfy :3

the "with a kiss- twist!" gets a little laugh, but following it up with "/fuck/" just tickles me every time hehe

love how the point they freeze at in ‘there will be sun’ is right before the sunrise/"oh if i could i'd will these clouds away" stuff - which all happens once phil is freed, and he watches the sunrise with rita :')

I LOVE ned’s chopped and screwed jingle on the third go around. it's like five seconds but it's so good at setting the mood. I am Frankly Appalled that the jingle isn’t on the cast recording, you don’t get the full impact of ‘night will come’ then

did not see ned’s pedo stache on my first two viewings, it grrrrosses me out and is not even ghd-movie-canonical, why this

the drunk driving joke always gets a big laugh which makes me a bit uncomfy

‘nobody cares’ is so FUCKING good. I esp like "shoot some cans, crack some cans, shoot the breeze". I wish they’d perform it at the tonys but alas….

… okay an Aside for tonys performance thoughts: I’d love them to perform ‘nobody cares’ but it would kind of waste andy and I feel like they’d want him prominent. Plus the big car is run on the turntables, which they wouldn’t have on that stage, but maybe they could just block it differently. ‘hope’ would obviously be fucking incredible but I think it’s too Dark and staging-complicated for the tonys. I have a feeling we’re gonna get ‘if I had my time again’ which is fffffine but a little generic for my taste. Obviously the solution is ‘seeing you’, pls. okay moving on (ETA: they are apparently doing a medley that includes one of the Days. I am Nervous about this choice)

still don’t know how they do the bag blowing across the stage so well in ‘philanderer’! I don’t see a string or anything and it blows so realistically

also, important note: when he goes behind the door with nancy and is making ~sex noises~, he is actually in real time also thrusting/writhing up on her, I saw it with my eyes lordy lou

"me, in all my finery! and you, in your - practical attire!" makes me laugh EVERY time I just love how andy delivers it

the shining armor masturbation joke never lands and I think barrett have given up on trying to telegraph it super clearly haha

"same! that is my favorite drink!" handonchest.jpeg

rita's constant response to phil’s sleaziness is "grow up" -- which, I understand that is what they're trying to push thematically for phil? but like grown ass men aren't doing gross ass shit every day???

“for me modesty is second only to humility" is the laugh line for me but "my humility is legend" always gets it

in ‘one day’ when rita sings “metrosexual”, phil points to himself like “me? why you gotta call me out wtf”

in the snowball fight scene, once when rita’s turned away, phil turns to the kids and mouths “FUCK OFF” with hand gestures, I screamed

love how phil’s “fictional man” hits at the same time as rita’s “actual man”, and they’re both right, and they’re both wrong

ACT II

okay ‘playing nancy’. I see what they were going for with this song, but I think we can all agree that “it’s better to be leered at than not desired at all” is A Bad Take, Greg. whatever, none of the reviewers like this song either, it gives people time to get back to their seats ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ not only is the content strange, but it’s kind of boring musically/melodically too. also I think it’s fucky that they have nancy be a sympathetic character for “taking what men give her”, but shit on rita’s ‘one day’ farm girl for doing the same thing? idk, I haven’t really unpacked all my thoughts about it but it’s not keeping me up at night. they tried, they largely got there, whatevs

the shooting scene before ‘hope’ was so shocking to me when I first saw it, but ‘hope’ itself was just thrilling and exciting. music fixes everything I guess

I love ‘everything about you’, it really struck me in the sternum the first time I saw the show. I’m a BIG sucker for very simplistic imagery communicating larger ideas of love or death or whatever (see also: underwater from caroline or change, origin of love from hedwig and the angry inch)

also “you thought jesus was going to appear from the dark” in your bedroom is totally ripped from the headlines of tim minchin’s life (right? I remember a very similar anecdote from an interview of his) ETA: YES

‘if i had my time again’ is fun and fine!! for me there’s not enough blocking/telegraphing of phil ~truly falling for~ rita. you get some of it in the tilt-a-whirls but it’s pretty hard to follow visually. this song is like a slightly less effective ‘when you’re home’? “feels like you’re showing me around your hometown”, yanno.

“and I would be a lot more zen” immediately followed by “and I would punch a lot of men” same girl

also phil holds the hot dog for SO LONG in this song, I didn’t realize. like for more than half of the song he’s holding this hot dog rita handed to him near the beginning ahahaha

andy karl gets the tony award for best coat-ography, whipping that shit around his shoulders twenty times a show

ned ryerson’s ballad about death is one of my favorite songs, which is a sentence tim minchin made me type with my own two goddamn hands. and john sanders sings it sooooo well I love it. (I like him singing it live better than some of the vocal choices he made on the cast recording)

if I think too hard about what phil is actually doing?? or trying to accomplish?? during that moment it fucks me up so hard. sisyphian 4 real

also the staging at the end of the number, phil (who is dark) following in step behind ned (who is lit) fuck meeee

‘philanthropy’ is the most joyous I have ever been in a theater fight me

also vishal did the whole number and then came back on and was supes sweaty in a tuxedo plus coat, poor thing

and then when all the sound is sucked out of the room and seeing you kicks in I’m d o n e :’’’’’’’’))))))))))

when the final scene comes around and it was clear he had been freed, a lady behind me scoffed and said too loud, “he’s broken out of it now. watch.” and I was like DEBORAH WE’RE ALL AWARE OF THE MOVIE your insight is not necessary pipe down pls

matthew warchus has a talent for ending shows with lovely simple artistic vignettes (ms honey and matilda cartwheeling towards a tiny house, phil and rita with their arms around each other bathed in sunrise) :’)

OPENING NIGHT

maybe it was just me because i had too much coffee beforehand? but I think during the first half I/the audience, plus andy himself, were a little tense/stiff/high strung? not quite ~in the groove~. it is a very anxiety-inducing first half to be fair. (plus it was literally opening night, so.) some of the audience was v aware he was injured: at one point putting on his shoes he almost slipped off the bed platform and a bunch of people gasped/winced. I swear I saw him at one point (when he was stage left, not in the spotlight yet) wave off “no im fine” to someone in the wings. I took deep breaths during intermission to zen out tho, and once he nailed ‘hope’ I was like pshaw we good

he was not quiiiite limping but almost. was stiff. at "with what a dixie cup" I saw him like ~hobbling off the stage :( and he was pulling his punches somewhat with the physical comedy, but I only knew that because I saw him do it at full strength at the preview. I don't think it was obvious to first timers. he didn't go Full Loony Slapstick Panic Attack, it was more like real ass nervous and Stressed, which just made ME stressed because I didn't know if he was struggling injury wise or not

he really gave his all in the slick dancing of ‘philandering’ tho. and everyone was cheering him on, it was great

“one lonely people? c’mon...” *extends his leg with knee brace up onto a diner stool, gestures to it, massages his thigh, literally two distinct applause breaks* “aren't you even curious?”

he kept bending down as the snowball fight scene warrants and I was like BUDDY PLS

in ‘hope’ “there will be mornings you’ll be utterly defeated by your laces” got LAUGHS, I was upset. but people gave crazy cheers each time he woke up again. he just crushed it like fuckin YEAH

when the bell chimes started in for philanthropy my heart rate skyrocketed. instead of doing a silly gangly full on sprint like he did uninjured, he did like, tiny running? in the style of a powerwalker? it was still very comedic and good

‘seeing you’: he broke down/cracked a bit on “I know nothing” and paused, looked upstage, looked at barrett, looked out at the audience, and continued. READER I CRIED

[aparoxysm]

3,5,7,8,9,12,15,18,19,20

✿  Does anyone in real life know about your RPing hobby and what, if anything, have they said about it?

My parents know, because for as long as I’ve been on the internet, they’ve known that I like to write and write with friends overseas. My dad still calls it fanfiction somtimes to other people, like he’s proud of me or something, and that’s enough to make me want to never talk to him again out of embarrassment, ha, but I deal with it. Because I truly do love writing more than anything. Other than that, my boyfriend knows, but he doesn’t care about it / ask questions and I don’t really like to tell him about it either. I’m not as embarrassed about RP as I used to be, but I still feel like it’s just something for me that other people wouldn’t really understand the mechanics of. The only times my boyfriend and I do acknowledge it is when I start talking about an RP friend he hasn’t heard about before like a real life friend, so he’s like who dat and im like oh, new rp friend from > insert country

That being said, he actually did surprise me the other week and I have been holding onto it for fear life. We were complaining about a friend who literally just sleeps and watches Netflix all day when she’s not working, and he’s like “I don’t get how you can do that” and im like “Well I have friends online who claim to do that a lot. Me, personally, I’d get too bored.” and hes like “I just don’t get how people can do nothing all the time? Like at least with you and your online stuff, that’s still doing something. I just feel like that’s actually a hobby.” and I kind of didn’t hear whatever else it is he said because he actually ??? referred to my RP addiction as something valid and worthy??? and all this time i’ve assumed he didn’t get it and thought it was dumb??? IDK, it made me feel good.

✿  Have you considered writing professionally or do you have plans to?

Always. But I never will, I don’t think.

✿  How do you handle the toxicity sometimes found in the roleplaying community, particularly in fandoms?How has roleplaying, specifically, impacted your life?

I use tumblr savior to blacklist a lot, because it really gets too much for me to be exposed to it a lot, and it makes me feel shitty and not want to rp with certain people because of how they behave, or makes me feel guilty for how I behave… I usually drift away from things that give me major negative vibes, otherwise I become in great, exponential danger of saying something i’ll regret. I’ve hated Tumblr RP a lot in this last year. It’s nowhere near as relaxed as it used to be, and I know there’s a lot of political debate on the topic of equality but I am not comfortable in a space where I have to edit everything I do and say or just not do or say it at all. When it gets like that level, a good dose of the unfollow button and keeping my mouth shut is what I find the most helpful.

✿  How has writing improved your life and do you see yourself sticking with it?

When I graduated high school, I went to college for art and animation, and it basically ruined my creative life. Before RP, I used to be an avid drawer, I sketched every day, I improved my skills and motivation so much, everyone knew me as the girl who drew in class instead of did her work, the girl who was going to grow up and be a famous artist, and when I went to college, it killed that for me. My ego took a big blow because the tech side of the course absolutely annihilated me, i couldn’t do it. so after that (and that was 2 years ago now) i haven’t really drawn since. but the silver lining was that I took on RP more dedicatedly after that, and found that I truly adored writing. Try as I might, I’ve never really comitted to a personal writing project, and it’s only in the recent times that I’ve taken the pressure off for me to do it, but. RP makes me happy, it makes me feel like I’m doing something good when I reply to people or make new friendships, it makes me feel like I’m wanted and needed, that my characters and plots are valid and that other people would care if I’m here or not. It was a big boost for my self confidence, and it’s also made me so much more privy to the creative world, which i needed after that. so yeah, i see myself sticking with writing.

✿  Is there a quote from a piece of literature that holds great value to you? What is it and why is it important to you?

She stood in front of her closet mirror in her T-shirt and twisted this way and that. What’s wrong with me? She wondered. There was nothing the matter that she could see. She was tall and leggy, like her mother, with full breasts, small waist, and slim hips that curved enough to show she was female. Her skin was gently golden; it was always golden, sun or not, and her tawny hair was thick and long and wild. So why was it that groups of girls stopped talking when she approached them at school and answered her openings with tense words that killed the conversations she tried to start? Was she too good-looking? Was that possible? Was that the threat they saw? 

Legitimately, this was the first and pretty much only female protagonist I had ever read about who fully and whole-heartedly loved herself where it mattered. Sure, she still had her shortcomings and moments of weakness, but god damn, Vivian was so proud of herself and what she stood for, and that was so refreshing to see during that period of young adult fiction. It’s why she became my first favourite character from a book. And has pretty much inspired me to write feirce, aggressive, self-assured female characters ever since. I was just so inspired by her way of thinking as a young girl, it appealed to me so much and so that moment in the book plus a whole lot of others, really stuck with me.

✿  What do you typically look for in a roleplay partner?

Cliche, but chemistry. And not always in the writing kind but a lot in the OOC kind. I like people who I can talk to super easily, who write in the same tumblr language I do, who reference memes and are not afraid to hit me up with IMs and head canons, etc. I just love it because it makes me feel comfortable with a person, and like I’m not being a bother. The better I get to know a player, the better I get to know their character away from IC interactions. Likewise, I adore it when players get to know me so well that they read the patterns in my characters easily, and I don’t feel like I have to explain them all the time? It’s like they just know, and they know what path I want to put them on. I also look for honesty, people who are down to tell me what they’re feeling about a situation or whether something bothers them, or is able to voice if I’m doing something wrong. Most importantly though, I look for decisive people. Not overly decisive but it’s just so important for me to have someone who is like “yes that sounds good, i can start a thing for you if you want” or “i dont think that really fits, how about this plot idea instead?” I really cannot stand sending IMs to people about plots and characters and them just agreeing off the bat the whole time, but never really deciding on anything either, and so it makes me feel like i’m just paddling in a circle until i make all the decisions for us. To me, that’s not what RP is about. It involves teamwork, and effort, and to me, that’s not putting in effort. It gets me really frustrated.

✿  What made you want to join the roleplaying community?

I kept seeing bios in celebrity tags, and so when i sussed out what group rp was on tumblr, i was like holy shit there is a name for the thing i have been doing with friends over email for so many years???? and you can use PICTURES? i gotta get on this.

so somehow, i found a group rp that allowed mythical creatures, i wanted to be a peter pan mermaid, and the rest is history~~

✿  What one piece of literature has been most inspirational/life changing for you? Why?

(( Blood & Chocolate, by Anette Curtis Klause — because of the main character, as per mentioned. She’s inspired me to write full-on, aggressive, assertive, don’t-tell-me-what-i-can-and-cant-do female characters without apology. ))

The Truth About Forever  by Sarah Dessen — it’s hard to explain exactly why, and it doesnt even just involve ONE of her books either, but they’ve kind of shaped my whole general character story directions?? her books always follow a pattern and i really admire that pattern, even if it is repetitive, and i am secretly a hopeless romantic so i really like how her love stories evolve. it’s always slow burning, the boy is usually a direct surprising love interest, and the girl always gains new friends and family out of it, and the stories always involve a nice little reoccurring theme. In the Truth About Forever, it’s a game that she and a boy plays throughout the entire book, which eventually leads to a shift from friendship to something more. THAT PLOT HAS APPEALED TO ME EVERY SINCE. the example of a teeny, tiny, otherwise-completely-average moment greatly impacting the rest of a characters life with someone else… i am weAK for this concept ok. her females are always usally feircely independent too and that gets me ♥

✿  Who are your top three favorite fictional characters and why?

Vivian Gandillon (Blood & Chocolate) — i swear i could go on repeat forever haha, but i’ve basically already mentioned why.

Jace Herondale (Shadowhunter Series) — back when the first like, two books had only been published, i super fell hard for this series and it was straight up because of the commentary done by Jace and his ability to senselessly bicker with everybody in his path. his comments to me, were always absolutely hysterical. i was so in love with his wry and witty comments, especially the way he kept at ease and casual through super distressing situations, and i really wish id kept reading the rest of the series as it was published, but i seriously fell behind. then the movie came out. then the netflix series. now i’ve grown too far out of it and having to see the cast on my dash every second of every day makes me want to burn the books.

Shane Collins (Morganville Vampire Series) — this is an oooold old series that i used to read religiously, and it was more in the style of anita blake and buffy vampires~ rather than twilight and true blood -esque content. it got really weird and complicated though so i gave up on it, but for a time, i adored it. and i loved shane because he was hilariously human, he hated everybody except his housemates (though sometimes that could be questioned) and nobody held a grudge better than him. he had a knack for getting in trouble, usually on his own accord, was feircely protective and spent most of his time just being a genuine nuisance and temper tantrum thrower. i saw a lot of me in him, and idk. i just like people with tempers, i think it makes them super fun to read. 

[queen-schadenfreude]

tons of replies under this cut ;w;

@rockitsuu replied to your post “I need like, a friendly way to learn heroes I’m not good with in...”

I want to learn roadhog but im on ps4 and I die

hhhgggnnnhgg playing on console sounds like. kinda of a drag but tbh I haven’t owned a console in years so I’ve forgotten what it feels like to hold a controller orz

@theworldofkirby​ replied to your post “I need like, a friendly way to learn heroes I’m not good with in...”

 You don't know me, but if you want, we could play overwatch together :D     

hmu!! my bnet id is WeakLink#11913

@greyyourwarden​ replied to your post “I need like, a friendly way to learn heroes I’m not good with in...”

This is why I've never been able to play the game with actual people because my anxiety over it is so bad                

Honestly it took me ages to get over my anxiety to start playing QP from bots, so I know how it goes :(

@geraltar​ replied to your post “I need like, a friendly way to learn heroes I’m not good with in...”

yeah, i just kinda.... stopped playing because people are so bad. although i've gotten into the habit of mercilessly blocking anyone who is an asshole so i don't have to play with them ever again thank G O D                

oh man I didn’t even know that’s how the block feature worked!! I honestly thought it just blocked a player from contacting you. Cool, I might actually use it going forward, ty ♥

@midori16 replied to your post “maybe your just bad at videogames, maybe you shouldn't play at all”

I play Smite, I am only really decent using one god, and occasionally I feel like I HAVE to learn to play more of them, but when I try I'm miserable. So I stick to what I like, screw the haters. It's literally a video GAME.                

Yeah, everyone should just play how they wanna play, whether it’s sticking to what you’re comfy with or branching out. Otherwise it’s just not fun, then what’s the point??

@beowulfings replied to your post “I need like, a friendly way to learn heroes I’m not good with in...”

idk if you're on pc or not, but i'd be happy to learn other heroes with you if you are! i know we don't know each other but i've also run into this kinda trouble and feel yr frustration real hard :c                

Aww yeah! :D my bnet id is WeakLink#11913

@auronei​ replied to your post “I need like, a friendly way to learn heroes I’m not good with in...”

i feel you. my friends and i play the game to have fun! I'd be happy to play with you if you ever want to!                

That’s how it should be tbh... play to have fun. If you wanna win so bad, there’s competitive. but yea add me!! i’m WeakLink#11913 on bnet

@peacekandi​ replied to your post “maybe your just bad at videogames, maybe you shouldn't play at all”

Have you considered playing No Limits in Arcade? There's generally no team pressure there, it's a mode where lots of people goof off. Lately it's the "300% Symmetras" mode, but you can pick anyone you like and no one will complain.                

I have considered it, although it’s a bit tough to.. effectively learn when goofing off / stacking is the norm, haha. NOT that that kind of thing isn’t fun. I’ve played a 6v6 Lúcio match that probably went on for thirty minutes and was a blast lmao

@actualanders​ replied to your post “I need like, a friendly way to learn heroes I’m not good with in...”

Git gud is such a gross concept honestly, I play a lot of different heros fairly well and a lot of it was learned through YouTube videos, A.I, and playing mystery heros?? I find mystery heros and brawls refreshing because there's no pressure picking and you'd be surprised at what you can do when given the chance. The practice range sucks, so learning a new hero is hard, blizzard have said they are working on better tutorials and the like so there is hope.                

I actually really like the mystery heroes brawl, although after a while I find it a tiny bit frustrating to not have the same hero twice (never gettin that ult charge haha) But also, I don’t really feel like it’s on Blizzard to provide better tutorials (tho that’d be nice), it’s really the community that needs to be more empathetic towards each other. That’s where most of the issues seem to stem from, anyway orz

@sgurrdearg​ replied to your post “I need like, a friendly way to learn heroes I’m not good with in...”

I'm not sure how well my internet can handle being on another server but yes I am game. I'm probably not even that good at the heroes I main so just playing with ppl that are nice and non-judgy would really help me when I'm trying to do better                

Yea, having supportive friends/teams is so important to individual players’ enjoyment of the game, especially since it is a team game and not just 1v1 pvp sort of setup. I could always try switchin servers, tho! My bnet is WeakLink#11913

@spacepsychologist replied to your post “I need like, a friendly way to learn heroes I’m not good with in...”

I can't fucking believe someone saw this wholesome, positive post and their response was to anon you "maybe you shouldn't play video games if you suck".                

DUDE THIS IS THE ATTITUDE IM TALKIN ABOUT... fucken, HARDCORE gAMERZ thinking that they somehow have the right to dictate who gets to play games based on skill level. Like... listen, this is a game for anyone who wants to play, not just seasoned gaming vets who make careers out of esports/pros/etc. jfc

anyone wanting to add me I’m on PC NA (altho I can try switching to other servers) WeakLink#11913 - altho I am going to bed for the night so I won’t be playing at least until after work tomorrow orz

[khaliasama]

What server are u on? Also I just got ffxiv for my ps4 and I haven't started yet but I was wondering if u had any tips for a newbie :>

i play on Balmung! aka the hardest server to get on because it’s the unofficial RP server ; w; (like literally the only way to guarantee a spot is to either pay for a transfer or wait for the servers to blip or crash momentarily and then make a character. it’s really annoying!)

(i’m putting this under a read more because it got a little lengthy)

okay, let’s see tips ummmm let’s see:

don’t stress out too hard about picking a permanent class/job. you can switch at any time so long as you have it unlocked and have at least one weapon appropriate for that class/job. experiment around if you find yourself getting a bit bored! the neat thing about ffxiv is if you have one class/job at a higher level than the others, you’ll get bonus exp leveling others until they’re caught up with your highest level!

that said, keep on top of your class/job quests! you get a lot of skills and even some equipment as you go and the quests specifically are there to teach you how to use these new skills

at level 30, you can pick a job. all jobs (except the heavensward ones i believe) have pre-requisites where you need to be level 15 in another class. this site details what you need leveled in order to achieve the job that you want in the end

once you have your job ALWAYS keep your soul stone equipped or else you’re not the proper job. it may seem like a silly thing, like duh! of course you wouldn’t forget your soul stone. you would be surprised

playing your job ‘properly’ doesn’t stop at just having it leveled and having all the gear! be sure to have all the necessary cross class skills for the job you want to play! it’s super important! you don’t need to worry about this right away but later down the line if you want to know details hit me up again and i can tell you what you need for the job you’re playing!

don’t rush just to get to end game. like trust me here! i know it might be tempting to bully through everything to get caught up but there’s no rush! take your time! enjoy the story and the environments and THE MUSIC!

you’re actually starting the game at a really good time. when the new expansion drops, a lot of things are going to be changing so it’ll probably be easier for you to adjust to the new changes!

don’t worry too much about gathering and crafting right out of the gate. they will always be there and they can be very overwhelming to begin leveling so just concentrate on your battle class.

oh! and do the novice hall training! it teaches you the basics of the game and you also get a very nice set of gear that stays with you for a bit and has good stats! so you don’t have to scramble for armor early on!

once you get your chocobo companion, that thing is your best friend. it can tank, heal, or do extra dps for you! and it levels up and gets skills! it’s awesome! (i’d probably go heal or dps first though depending on what you play)

also don’t stress too badly about leveling up in general. doing the whole main story questline should get you to max level with little extra work needed. when i leveled up, i only had to do a tiny bit extra

that being said though, doing some FATEs isn’t a bad idea! you get extra money and grand company seals that are a form of currency and kind of useful now

OH YEAH and do your hunting log! keep on top of that! it’s easy peasy exp and money

and finally, just do your best to have fun! if you get a little anxious about going into dungeons alone, don’t sweat it! just take deep breaths and do your very best. there are some bad apples in the community but generally you run into nice people. ask questions if you’re unsure about something and if someone’s a jerk to you then just push through and forget about them! i’d recommend Balmung as a server to come to because it’s not too terrible but like i said, it’s nearly impossible to get on unless you pay to transfer or just get super lucky. i think the other servers in my data center are alright for the most part, just not nearly as populated. i think i’d might say stay away from Gilgamesh though. that’s the raid server and i never hear good things about Gilgamesh haha. 

okay i think that’s mostly it. hopefully i didn’t overwhelm you, but there’s a bit to remember at first. i hope you have tons of rad fun! ffxiv is probably my favorite mmo right now even though im on hiatus. i just love it a lot despite any complaints.

now for some resources!

FFXIV Wiki (main wiki)

Gamer Escapes FFXIV Wiki (i pretty much only used this one for looking up monster locations for hunt logs and looking up crafting recipes)

Eorzea Collection (previews for all glamour sets currently in the game. handy for when you get into glamouring at level 50 and also for if you wanna see what kind of gear your future job(s) are gonna get)

MTQcapture (youtube channel that specializes in making guides for all dungeons, trials, and raids in the game. they are super concise guides and very easy to process)

but yeah i think that mostly wraps it up. feel free to pop more messages into my inbox if you have more questions and i’ll try to help! i should be returning to the game sometime next year. a month or two before 4.0 drops hopefully!

have fun and welcome to the wonderful world of Eorzea! o/