#psa; my library
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you know, i can handle a little bit of fun "Nandor is dumb" talk, but i have a net-zero tolerance for any implication that Nandor is not educated.
Nandor would have been incredibly educated in his lifetime.
even (or especially) as a soldier in the Islamic World. being a soldier was more like getting sent to boarding school that's also a military camp. they weren't just concerned with creating loyal fodder for war. they were building the next government officials, generals, accountants, advisors, etc. it was important that young men knew how to read, write, speak multiple languages, learn philosophy...sometimes even studying art and music was mandatory.
if he was nobility (and its most likely he was), take all that shit and multiply it exponentially. Nandor would have been reading Plato at the same age most people are still potty training. he would have been specifically groomed in such a way to not be just a brilliant strategist and warrior, but also diplomate and ambassador of literally the center of scientific and cultural excellence of the age.
so like yeah, he can be a big dummy sometimes, sure. but that bitch is probably more educated than any of us will ever be.
#wwdits#nandor the relentless#Nandor#what we do in the shadows#i think its obvious by how much Nandor loves to read that he grew up educated#it's one of my favorite character traits of his#anyways#this was just your local psa abt the depth of Nandor's character and intelligence#and how the medieval islamic world was like - so much more advanced than it's western counterpart it's hilarious how ppl mischaracterize it#(by hilarious i mean it makes me want to break something)#this was in my drafts lolol what did i read that made me vent this? idk#also 'islamic world' is just a term some historians use to describe a specific geographical location and historical age#kind of how 'western world' is used today#it doesn't mean it's specific to one religion or nation but the broader time and location#meaning that Al Qolindar or Persia or Ilkhanate or w/e you want to call where Nandor came from#the same expectations of education and it's vibrant social/cultural world remain an accurate image of the middle east in the medieval age#if you come from the west like me#think The Forum + The Library of Alexandria + Paris/Florence + and idk anything else u think of when u think of 'Western Excellence'#and then imagine of all of that in one place at one time and then u might get close to what the world Nandor was living in as a human
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god i love kind strangers. chill randos. 30-minute-fair-weather-friends. lights of my life tbh.
#my posts#jeff from the magic the gathering tournament thanks for the good game 👍#this is a psa to my fellow young people by the way#like protect yourself but ALSO#smile at the person next to you in line#talk to thenperson with a cool jacket at the library#if you’re in a social setting with unknown people (arts n crafts class or game nights or whatever) TALK TO PEOPLE#MAKE FRIENDS#DON’T BE AFRAID OF YOUR PEERS AND DON’T BE AFTAID OF OLDER PEOPLE AND DON’T BE TOO PROUD TO CHAT WITH PEOPLE YOUNGER THAN YOU#MAKE FRIENDS DEAR GOD MAKE FRIENDS EVEN IF ONLY FOR AN HOUR
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do you want to expand your cooking knowledge while supporting your local library? Well you are in luck! Because there is a possibility that your library has access to cookbooks. For beginners I recommend you get cookbooks that serves more as household cookbooks (contains knowledge on how to cook eggs, what different cooking methods are called, types of units). if you are unsure if your library has one. You can just ask them both via email and in person!l
#Not squid related#cooking#library#PSA#I HAD A GREAT HOUSEHOLD COOKBOok#BUT MY BROTHER TOOK IT#:(#I WANT IT BACK#Jk he can have it
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gonna try to do some writing this weekend since i'm not sure when i'll have the time/energy combo again once the semester starts lmao.
#i'm working 20hrs/wk at the office for social justice & diversity#and 13hrs/wk at the library#AND taking three classes#so i am going to be busier than i've ever been in my life i think??#wild that i don't feel more anxiety about this i'm just like#cautiously optimistic/excited#ooc. ( a suspicious lack of dragons )#psa. ( stop lying stop manipulating just be nicer! )#tbd.
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Just learned my library card gets me access to the great courses plus ohoohoohoohoohoo <the little gnome inside me that loves history lectures
#all the fun of a history class#with none of the essays!#my posts#psa check out what online services your library offers#you may find delights like this
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Making myself do the thing I said I’d do (button up the chapter I’ve been working on) before I reward myself with what I really want to be doing (reading chapter 3 of Wriggle Up On Dry Land)
#PSA: if you’re not reading Wriggle Up On Dry Land yet then we’ll you should be#it’s already lowkey devastating and heart wrenching#gaaaah#ok focus time#[redacted title] post season three fic#is whooping my ass this week#but!!#I found some cookbooks at my library#and while they are not specifically Nigerian their are Nigerian recipes#so I am Happy#writing update#(unrelated to anything Ted Lasso the new One Piece trailer dropped and i am hyyyyyyyped)#(serotonin off the charts right now- let’s see if that makes the writing any easier)
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10/30/2023

#THANK U THANK YA @jollyrolls FOR SENDING THIS POST + PSA MY WAY!!!#the library i work at has a 3D computer + i cannot stress how cool it is to see parts for home appliances or the occasional dragon#in our pick-up box!!! LOVE when something can be used practically + for funsies!!#hope Brian Alldridge + all the people who worked on tweaking the design + the people who made and kept it open source have a good day :-)
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PSA TO ALL READERS while wandering around a mall today I was ensnared by a powerful force that bade me enter a place called Barnes & Noble. in a daze I wandered the displays and was compelled to even pick up several books that this force attempted to foist upon me at great personal cost to myself. it was only through great strength of will that I was able to fight off this befouling force by withdrawing my cellular device from my pocket and logging into my library account to place requests for the same books at no cost that i was able to escape without grievous harm. truly it's crazy out there, stay safe and remember that libraries are always there to provide aid as you fight against such forces of darkness
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online libraries are so cool. i have the entire literary world at my fingertips, and all it costs is my email address? so fucking cool!
#this has been your psa to sign up to your ‘local’ online library#i am no longer using the internet for evil#only using it for good#ish#my meows
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"Go See The Day the Earth Blew Up" Masterpost
this isn't really anything new for anyone following me, but i wanted to make a comprehensive post covering my adamence on seeing this movie--i have a lot of different versions of a lot of different posts being spread around, and wanted to uncross the wires a bit. entering Tumblr PSA mode for a bit like it's 2013 all over again--bear with me!
before getting into the nitty gritty, though, this is a TIME SENSITIVE POST. most theaters were beginning to pull the film out as early as end of day TODAY--not even a full WEEK'S worth of a run. but, thanks to word of mouth, the film has mostly been extended to the end of the weekend. with continued word of mouth and support, the film has a chance to run even longer.
What the Heck is The Day the Earth Blew Up
The Day the Earth Blew Up is an all traditionally hand-drawn, 2D animated film starring Looney Tunes' own Porky Pig, Daffy Duck and Petunia Pig. initially announced in September of 2021, it's the very first all traditionally animated film in the franchise's entire 95 year run.
Why Haven't I Heard About The Day the Earth Blew Up
originally intended to be a direct to streaming release, this film's existence has been wrung through the wringer. for the benefit of tax cuts, Warner Bros. wrote the film off and just barely avoided axing it entirely--even during its production. the film was put up for sale and only just last summer finally was able to procure an independent distributor, Ketchup Entertainment. unfortunately, Ketchup Entertainment is a much smaller name than Warner Bros. is, and because WB isn't releasing it, it's Ketchup who is marketing and spreading the film--obviously, something incredibly difficult to do with a very small budget.
Why the Heck Should I See The Day the Earth Blew Up
hand-drawn, traditionally animated films are all but extinct in theaters, and by setting the film up for what could essentially be described as sabotage, a meager box office performance is the perfect excuse for the suits to claim that there's no more demand for traditionally animated movies anymore.
it's the first all-animated Looney Tunes film in the entire franchise's history.
you don't have to have any knowledge or attachment to the characters to enjoy the film--there are absolutely no prerequisites required (but there are plenty of loving nods to fellow fans of the film.) i dragged my best friend to see this with me who doesn't have the same LT brain parasite that i do and she absolutely loved it.
WB just axed the entire LT library of shorts off of HBO Max, as well as gutted all of the cartoons freely available on their YouTube channel--there seems to be a clear embarrassment for the franchise on their behalf, and seeing the film proves that notion dead wrong.
supporting the film spreads the message that there is a demand for the love and craft that goes into these films. you will genuinely be experiencing history in the making--when's the last time you've seen a brand new, all traditionally animated film in the theaters from the States?
crew members themselves are urging you to spread your support and mention how it empowers them to keep making more
the money goes to Ketchup, not Zaslav--you don't have to worry about boycotting the film. the absolute opposite is necessary.
supporting this film could potentially spawn similar films with similar opportunities. Eric Bauza himself has mentioned that suport and turnout for this film could see a potential revival in Coyote vs. ACME, another film victim to WB's tax writeoffs all in the name of the dollar
EDIT: Ketchup Entertainment is in talks with WB to distribute Coyote vs ACME!!! because of the word of mouth and positivist surrounding The Day the Earth Blew Up!! keep it coming!!

it's likely that the film will be completely overshadowed by the Snow White remake, with theaters initially beginning to pull screens to make way for early previews. what could be more poetic than supporting an all traditionally hand-drawn film over a cash-grab remake of the very first feature length traditionally hand-drawn film?
How Else Can I Support The Day the Earth Blew Up
GO SEE IT! go see it again! go see it with your siblings, your friends, your family! tell your coworkers! reblog this post! spread the news! keep the conversation going!
pre-orders for the Blu-ray, releasing May 27th, are already scheduled
there's a limited edition run of 1,000 copies for the film's soundtrack on vinyl!
said soundtrack is also available on YouTube, which you should likewise listen to! get those view counts up!
Why the Heck Should I Listen to You
i'm asking myself the same thing! but, i do want to put this out there: i get it. i usually do not like being a walking advertisement. i know this is full on shill-mode and you're surely asking "you're being paid, aren't you" (i wish!). i also share the Ferocious Contrarian Gene where seeing posts like these is an instant way for me to NOT want to see the film. i genuinely understand how pushy and obnoxious this can come off. especially since, clearly, i'm a little biased to the franchise and these characters. i also balk at the guilt trippy idea of "YOU'RE A MONSTER IF YOU DON'T SUPPORT THIS FILM YOU KILLED ANIMATION". i HATE that rhetoric with a passion, and that only is going to alienate people from wanting to see this further. please know that's not the intent of my messaging here at all.
but even beyond my personal biases, i really think this is a film worth supporting. movies like this are a once-in-a-lifetime event anymore, and that could only be exacerbated by how this film's fate is handled. i've been overjoyed with the amount of messages i've received from people who said they caught the film on a whim and enjoyed it--especially from those without a clear LT bias like myself. it's proven that this film is enjoyable for anyone.
also, just, spite. the reason you haven't heard about it is by design. this film has been set up to fail. and while the success shouldn't be the sole responsibility or burden of the consumers, but instead the higher-ups, you are making a difference by supporting and spreading word of mouth of this film. crew members themselves are saying so. the distributor themselves are saying so.
i'm not expecting a miracle for this film, as much as i'd love one. i will genuinely be surprised if it makes a profit (which it should at a measly $15 million, pennies compared to most features that look much worse than this). but that's all the more reason to TRY rather than give up and say there's nothing we can do. you all have been making such a wonderful difference. that energy needs to continue, not dwindle. every single person is able to make a difference.
there are a lot worse ways you could be spending your time than spending an hour and a half at the theaters enjoying some gorgeous traditionally hand-drawn animation on the big-screen, feeling good that you're helping to spread a message and supporting the hard, loving craft of the people who worked on it. imagine if all "good turn"s in the world could be as fun and easy as seeing an animated comedy!
#the day the earth blew up#signal boost#looney tunes#daffy duck#porky pig#petunia pig#animation#warner bros#award winning
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𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞, 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐝 | satoru gojō

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: Is it possible to wish to be in the embrace of someone who makes you want to throw them off a cliff? You seem to think so, and the same goes for Gojo. But alas, good things always come to an end, even when not meant to be...
𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: Gojo x fem/afab! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - modern + college AU - frenemies to lovers + mutual pining - Gojo and reader are at least age 20 - implied fwb relationship - catching/awakening feelings - oral (m! receiving) - ball massaging + sucking - sex in a shared room; college dorms (alone) - cowgirl position on a chair - breast fondling + sucking + nipple play - protected sex (psa: wrap it up, or get tf up) - pet names (baby, cutie, pretty, princess) - heavy depiction of a blowjob - cameos: Haibara and Ijichi - fluff + angst; misunderstandings - humor bc i'm [not] funny.
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 7.6k
𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: second part, let's goooo!! i loved ur support and comments from the first story, so hope y'all are excited for this part :DDD and ty so so so MUCH for 5.5k like??? i kiss you on cheek, every single on of you, hehehe~
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“If you’re not gonna help, then leave my dorm!”
“Ehhhh, hell no! It’s cold as fuck outside; you want me to freeze to death?”
“They’re…still going at it.”
“Yeah…give it a minute, and we’ll just go to the library without them?”
It’s coming down to the last week of January; university students are finally settling in with their new schedules and getting used to the groove of the spring semester. Or some run around trying to keep up with the new semesters and the change of weather already getting on people’s nerves, wanting nothing more than spring to come quickly.
Three weeks in, and you already have stuff to do, one of them being an argumentative presentation assigned by Professor Yaga in your Contemporary Issues class. You and three other people are tasked to find sources for a topic issue you find interesting and then present a discussion-based presentation on two sides of the topic (two people in favor and two people against).
Unfortunately, the groups were to be randomly assigned. Luckily, two friends you knew in the class, Haibara and Ijichi, were picked to work alongside you! However, the bad part was that another person you knew was assigned to work with you, and he happens to be the guy getting on your last nerves right now, sitting on your couch while clicking through the television channels with the remote.
Your roommates weren’t home today. The club fair was occurring at the quad, so Mei Mei and Utahime had to go out and represent their clubs for the afternoon. Shoko is having an intense study session with Geto for an exam on the first of February, so they’re at the library now.
That leaves you alone at your dorm, using this as a perfect opportunity to invite your group over to work on the project.
“You can freeze your nuts off and become the next Jack Frost for all I care; if you’re not going to do your part of the work, get out!”
Well, minus you yelling at your partner, who clicks his teeth before turning to you. His round sunglasses shone from the light reflected from the living room windows.
Satoru Gojo was your number one nemesis within these campus grounds; this was a known fact to everyone, especially the other group members who nervously examined you two bicker. Being in the same space as him is enough to make you wish you could pull your hair out or put him in the nastiest headlock you could do. Worse, being assigned to the same group as him for your project almost made you want to rip your ears off.
But you had to suck it up; at least you were the first group to start a presentation. Better now than worry about it later, right?
“Pssh, fine, I’ll get up and—Oh! Wait, you guys have Digimon on Hulu? Ahhh, sick!”
Nevertheless, you can’t say that when your supposed partner acts like a child glued to your TV screen instead of doing the work he promised to do. You grit your teeth with a twitching brow, “Why you…”
Across from the common area was the kitchen, where Haibara and Ijichi sat at the dining table. The two sophomores could do nothing but feel the tension between you and Gojo grow with every passing second, suffocating the younger duo. Haibara eyes Ijichi from across the table and whispers, “Wanna make a run for it now?”
The black-haired second-year didn’t reply, only a hurried nod before the two grabbed their coats and stuffed their laptops back into their backpacks. The sound of their zippers alerts your ears, turning to them to question, “Huh? Where are you two going?”
Haibara takes it upon himself to deliver a half-lie as he zips up his jacket. “On second thought, Ijichi and I are thinking of taking the shuttle to the library to work instead.”
Huh? The library? Were they leaving because of the belligerence between you and Gojo? God, you hoped not. “Wait, you guys don’t have to do that. I already made you guys walk all this way here; it’d be rough to have you leave for somewhere else…”
Ijichi comes with the assist after putting the sling of his messenger bag around his shoulder. “It’s okay, Y/n. We found material from the library we could use as sources, so we’re heading up there to take some notes while they’re there.”
“Yup!” Haibara exclaims in agreement, and the two walk past you to put on their shoes by the front door. “Maybe you guys can find sources of your own while we’re gone, and then we can converse and share what we found when we come back. Sounds good?”
“I suppose so…” you couldn’t shake the feeling that they were leaving to avoid being in the same room as you and Gojo. The guilt is hard to endure since you didn’t mean to make the younger boys uncomfortable. “See you guys, then.”
“Cya!” And with that, the door closes on their way out, leaving you and Gojo alone in your apartment.
Well, this is just great; you’ve driven your group members and friends away and are now stuck with the nuisance of a partner who still keeps his attention on the television. It takes everything in your power not to pop a vein. But with one calm breath, you steady yourself and stand tall.
You walk in front of the TV, blocking it from Gojo’s view. The white-haired boy throws his hands up in exasperation, but you couldn’t care less. “What’s the big idea?” He questions you as if he has a right to at this moment.
You cross your arms across your chest with narrow eyes. “Haibara and Ijichi just left.”
“Uhh, yeah, I heard the door,” he maneuvers his body to try and see the children’s show blocked by your figure. “Doesn’t have to do with me—“
“It does have to do with you.” You interrupt him, taking two steps and bending to stare him down. Your face is a foot away from his. “You’re supposed to be here to work with Haibara on the ’no’ part of the argument while me and Ijichi do our part. You’ve only been here for thirty minutes, and the only thing you’ve done successfully is take off your shoes at the door and read your manga books on the couch.
Gojo chuckles – oh, how you hated his laugh – as he puts his hands behind his head, spreading his long legs from their crossed form. “You heard them, no? They’re going to research on their own and then come back. Besides, you know I’m not one to start stuff right away. I’m a procrastinator, remember?”
“You’re annoying; that’s what you are.” You straighten up with a heavy sigh. God, I wish Utahime and Shoko were here. They’d help me out with this white garbage…
“Ahhh, lighten up, Y/n. It’s not like the presentation is on Monday; we got until Friday to come up with everything.”
“Yeah, I’m aware of that, smartass. And you’re right: I do know you. And I know you tend to do things at the last fucking minute. But not this time!” You watch him try to put his feet up on the coffee table, and you quickly intervene by kicking them off.
“Tch. Look, you knew what you were getting into being partnered with me. And relax; those two said they’ll be back to discuss the material later. They already left – nothing I can do about it.”
Your hands rest at your hips, tapping your foot with visible frustration. “Oh? And I wonder why they left in the first place, Gojo. Mind telling me how?”
He quirks up a brow with a smug grin — a telling sign that you’d get ticked off with whatever he’s about to say. “I don’t know, Y/n. Why not ask the nagging control freak talking to me right now, huh? Maybe their short height and angry temper are affecting the mood of those around them to be miserable like them.”
You almost did it — your hands nearly gave into your intrusive thoughts and were about to lunge at the snow-haired guy’s neck to wring around like a rag doll. But you played it off with a clap, rubbing the palms together to distract your temporary violent thoughts.
You sucked your teeth and turned on your heel. “Forget it. I’m gonna go take a nap.”
He scoffs, “Good, maybe your tiny brain needs it to calm down.”
“Choke and die, Gojo!” You say down the hall, already at the door of your shared bedroom. Before slamming the door shut, Gojo’s patronizing laughter can be heard to your dismay. With gritted teeth, you march to your bed to throw yourself on the mattress.
“Ughhh. That Satoru Gojo,” you curse his name under your breath as if he’d hear you through the walls. “So unserious…”
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
To be quite honest with himself, Gojo doesn’t necessarily hate you.
The white-haired boy lies on his side on Utahime’s bed, watching you nap. He did knock on the door – believe him, he did. He even gave you the good old ten-second rule, waiting for your response. But then you didn’t, which gave him the initiative to waltz in and see you in your slumber.
You slept so peacefully; your face at peace, and your faint snores were the only things his ears picked up on. It was as if your little nagging show from earlier was hard to comprehend when seeing your tranquil state in front of him. It used to be rare to see you like this. Keywords: used to be.
For the past two to three weeks, your relationship with Gojo has become more…intimate. Ever since he took your first kiss and drew your virgin curtains, the two of you have gotten a little closer than before — both platonically and physically. Something that Gojo never thought he’d experience with you, his tiny, cute frenemy.
Gojo has known you since freshman year; you were two in the same enrichment group to prepare you to transition into college life. Personally, he wasn’t much for the program; he found it a waste of time, a mandatory prerequisite that he felt he didn’t need. He’s all about experience, wanting nothing more than to get on with his day, go to classes, hang with friends, and repeat.
“Hello, my name is Y/n. It’s nice to meet you all!”
And then came you, the person sitting across from him at the round table your group would always meet at. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t enamored by you the second he saw you. Gojo rarely finds someone who could easily pull his eyes to them — not saying the girls who’d usually crowd and admire him weren’t pretty. There was something about you that kept him wanting to know more – to engage more – about you.
One thing he knew from you was that you carried your character with pride. Your achievements, your personality, your kindness, and your mannerisms — all of which were displayed elegantly and were a breath of fresh air to look at. You stood out to him more than all the other kids in the group, his eyes always finding a way to steer from the professor’s advice to your alluring, listening face.
Another thing Gojo liked about you was that you weren’t afraid to stand your ground, especially when discussing with your peers or him. Sure, you were always respectful and would respect other people’s arguments. But, God, the way you said things so constructed and nuanced, it had the tall other glued to you whenever you spoke.
He’s not going to lie; he’ll admit that he’d try to tick you off and get you to get a little angry with him when it came to arguing. He couldn’t help it. He just liked the thought of you layering out of your poised appearance to the point you’d glare at him whenever you saw him in the halls. And it had him giddy knowing he’s the one that made you angry because you looked cute.
And that was the other thing he really liked about you. The more you two interacted, argued, hung out with his friends, or attended classes together, the more Gojo’s fascination for you turned into that of a school-boy crush. He wouldn’t admit to anyone of this (minus Geto and Shoko if his life depended on it) because it certainly wasn’t something to be known. He was okay with what you two had right now, being the friend who loves to push your buttons to see you nag at him.
That was until you two started sleeping together. Because holy fuck, the past weeks you two have been sneaking time to have each other’s bodies close made Gojo’s mind go crazy. So fucking crazy like the feeling of you on him is borderline addicting. Your whiny cries calling out to him when he scrapes your sweet spots, your nails scrape on his chest, your half-lidded eyes when you look at him, or how you whisper his name only for him to hear.
This was the kind of relationship you two brewed, a secret thing only between you two. And Gojo was satisfied keeping it like this because it was what you wanted. No need to flaunt it around; it was no one’s business. Besides, he likes having you to himself, seeing a side of you that only he could imagine and experience.
The sensations of your body under his touch, the various tunes of your voice, and the beauty exhibited in your gaze. It was all addicting. You were addicting.
“Who told you to lie on my roommate’s bed? You know she’ll kill you if she ever saw you.”
It was so addicting that he didn’t even notice you awake until you spoke to him, the erotic memories of you clouding his brain dissipating at the indication of your voice. He smirks, “Oh, I’ll be fine; not like she can hurt me with her tiny self.”
You’re too groggy to roll your eyes, sighing as you turn to your side to face him from across the room. “How long was I out for?”
“Almost an hour,” he replies, switching to sit criss-cross on Utahime’s bed. “I got bored watching TV and knocked.”
“How long have you been in here?”
“Maybe twenty minutes?”
“Just watching me sleep?”
“Yeah.”
You let out a scoff, shaking your head. “Weirdo.”
He snickers at you for recognizing his silliness. “Whaaat? There’s not much to do aside from looking at you. I got bored of the TV.”
“What about your manga?”
“Got bored of that, too.”
“Anyone on your socials that you’d wanna talk to? Girls? Friends? Your teammates?”
“Mmm, nah, none I’d wanna talk to right now.”
Your brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“Hmm?”
“What do you mean ‘right now’? You make it seem like I’m keeping you from interacting with your outside life. If you’re bored, talk with whoever you want. Maybe bother Geto…No, nevermind, he’d probably be annoyed since he’s studying.”
Gojo examines you, silently removing himself from your roommate’s bed and treading towards yours. He takes off his sunglasses and places them on top of your dresser before sitting on his knees on the floor. He rests his hands and chin on the edge of your bed, his sky-blue eyes locked in with yours. God, you were so beautiful to look at.
“I meant that I don’t want to talk to anybody.” Now that he’s closer to you, his voice dials to a whisper. “Not when I got you here to myself.”
He notices your brows drawing upward at the sentence. “To yourself?”
“Mhmm,” he hums, bringing a forefinger to trace your brow. A sensual touch not to startle you. “Just you and me.”
You give him a look as if you think he’s trying to pull something. “Don’t tell me you were making me mad at you earlier just so Haibara and Ijichi could leave, and I’d be stuck with you.”
His smile broadens with every word, his dimples out to see. “No, although I hate that I didn’t think of that myself.” His hand goes to your cheek for his thumb to stroke gently. “Would it have been a bad thing if I did?”
You don’t reply, only placing your hand on his. Your eyes are still on his blue orbs, and – you don’t know this because Gojo has the perfect view of you – the light from the window made them shine charmingly as it highlighted your face.
“No…I don’t think so,” you murmur, gaze gradually venturing down to his lips. “I like being around you…Satoru.”
He heard his name leave your lips, an invitation to what he wants to do, his eyes fixated on your lips before closing them and drawing in closer. “Me too…”
The kiss was soft and gentle like he always starts with, waiting for you to give him the okay to kiss you again. And when you meekly lick his bottom lip, he gives in to your request and claims your lips again.
Your moans were so sweet to his ears — his favorite thing to hear — especially when he becomes a little devilish and sucks on your tongue to make you whimper a little louder, turning him on even more. It serves as the perfect distraction for him to snake a hand into your shirt, his hand already making itself home and cupping your breast in your bra.
You break the kiss with a gasp, and massages to your mound make your breath shaky. “Mmmah…you sneaky pervert,” you name-call him sweetly.
“Can’t blame me; I just know that you like to have your tits played with.” Gojo sneers, tweaking your nipple to hear you gasp again. “Hey, remember you said you’d suck me off next time?”
“Huh?” The question threw you off before you could fall deeper into a euphoric haze.
“Don’t ‘huh’ me, you promised!” He whines to you like a hurt puppy. “After I ate you out for twenty minutes straight last time, can I just have your mouth on my dick once?”
“I never told you to eat me out for twenty minutes!”
“You crying and telling me not to stop said otherwise!” He stands his argument, even if you warn him with a glare. “Just suck it, please. I haven’t felt your mouth in a while.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. You didn’t expect to deal with his childish tendencies, but it is Gojo we’re talking about. You sigh, “…Fine, Satoru.” And then the white-headed boy beamed at the confirmation, immediately standing up and heading to your desk. It was an abrupt change of pace for a second until he brought your desk chair out.
With glee, Gojo flings his jeans and boxers with ease, his half-hard cock out for you to see. He sits on your chair with spread legs, “I’m ready~.”
You roll your eyes, yet the smile on your face sneaks without you knowing while leaving your bed and crouching between his legs. “You’re such a big baby sometimes…”
Your hand finds its way to the body of his dick, gliding it up and down to feel the veins under your palm and fingertips. Gojo hums to your cold fingers, hitching his breath when you tease him with a blow of air.
Your free hand comes to his balls, massaging his testicles in a way that has his leg jerk. He tries to fight it, but the squirm on his legs says otherwise. “Hahhh, fuck…quit it…”
“Hmm? What, you don’t like it when I tease you?” You peer up at him with a smug grin before using your tongue to lick on the glans slowly, and he covers his mouth before a gasp comes out after lapping on his frenulum. “But when you do it to me, it’s not a problem, huh?”
“Mmmph, shiit, Y/n—Ohhh…!” Another jolt of the hips after you lick and kiss one of his balls, teasing the skin with a kiss and tiny chews that would have him choke on his breath. “Jesus, fuck! Y/n, baby, you’re driving me crazy….Aishhh!!
“Oh, really?” God, you were such a fucking tease. But he fucking loved that so much. “What should I do?” You ask him before sucking on his balls again, and a hand comes to your shoulder to grip.
“Mmmm…Blow me off, princess,” shivers crawl up his spine as you place kisses from the base of his cock towards the tip. “Please, I wanna feel you…”
You giggle at his reply, finally taking in his cockhead to your pretty lips and sighing through your nose as you hollow your cheeks to take in more of him.
Gojo sighs at your licks and sucks on his girth, his erection becoming accommodated to your oral cavity wonderfully. You unhurriedly prompt yourself to take in more of him until your lips reach his pubes, your throat now full of him, and the warmness of your gummy walls makes him squirm more.
Bobbing your head at a moderate pace, you suck him off to that of a pleasurable cadence. You still use your hands to stroke him, Gojo melting to your touch even more. He throws his head back when you attack his tip again with the onslaught of licks and laps, the hand on his balls roughly kneading them jerks him to moan aloud.
Fuck, it feels so fucking good having you suck him off like this. How your tongue moved up and down on him was so dangerous, prompting him to place a hand on your head for support. As if that would help, you don’t show him mercy when you suck him harder and faster. The noises coming from your mouth sounded so erotic and pornographic, the heat on his face brewing out more.
“—Khhmm, fuck, man, I can’t…Ahhh! Y/n, I’m gonna cum if you keep licking it like that. Stop, st—Ahhaaa!!”
But like he said before – you’re a tease (if not worse than him). You remove Gojo’s dick from your mouth and throat at once, the groan he exerts fueling the fire in your body. You stand to withdraw your shirt, bra, and panties to the ground, knowing Gojo’s watching every move. “Don’t get mad at me; I know how much you wanna cum inside.”
You pull out the condom from the pocket of your skirt, placing the rubber on his cock after removing it from the wrapper. He couldn’t help but laugh, “Seems like you’re more of a pervert than me if you had that ready while those two were here earlier.”
“Shut up,” you playfully kiss him with a sneaky bite to his bottom lip. Then, you mount and align your cunt on his dick, the glans kissing your wet labia. “Hmmm, fuck…”
“Relax, cutie,” he kisses you on the cheek while his hands fondle your breasts.
You slowly descend your slit onto him, the tip of his cock pushing into the entrance of your vagina. A couple of exhales and inhales keep you steady when inserting him into you, not letting the pain distract you from the task at hand. And the both of you moan in unison when it makes it in, your hips leisurely coming down on him until your ass rests on his thighs.
You grind on him with the roll of your hips, evoking choked intakes of air from him as a hand goes to your ass with vigor. His face to your chest while the other hand plays with one mound. His lips found a nipple to pop into his mouth to suck on.
With a slow pace, you rock your hips onto him. Your legs bent for your feet to be on his knees, the chair solid enough to withstand you bouncing on Gojo’s dick with repetition.
“Hoohhh, ohhhh, mmmm,” your hums are expressed in tunes. The curve of his cock is so fucking good, scraping your insides with precision. You couldn’t help but increase the speed just a little bit.
Gojo keeps sucking on your nipple; the grazes of his teeth and pushing the bud up to the roof of his mouth only fuels more quivers to travel down your bouncing figure. Both of his hands now under your skirt to feel the flesh of your ass under his hungry grasp. He kneads your asscheeks with every thrust to your chasm, and your shrieks get louder by the second.
“—Mmmph! Shit, shit, you feel so good, pretty,” he finally lets go of your hardened nipple, burying his face to your chest. “So fucking good for me…fuhuuuucck!
You could feel your cunt contract around him; every graze to your sensitive spots prompted your walls to grip around him. He hisses, looking up to see your expression as you ride him out. Fuck, you looked so good on top of him like this. He’ll add this position to the list of things to do again with you.
You peer down to see that Gojo is staring at you, and you quickly bring a hand to cover his eyes. “—Ahhahhn, d-don’t look at me like that! Yer soo embarrassing…!”
He only chuckles at your shy demeanor, especially during this. But he humors you, not fighting your makeshift blind for him to see you wholly. He’s seen it all already — felt it all, too. And he could never get enough.
“Ooooh, Satoruuu—Nnaaahh!” He loves how you say his name, your hand traveling to his hair to grab in tuffs. “Oh, fuck, ‘toruuu, I’m gonna cummm…!”
“—Hnngh! Yeah, baby?” Oh, he knows. The way you’re grinding to and fro on his pelvis tells him so. “Go ahead, princess. Clench on me and ride it out.”
And with that, your hips go to an erratic pace that has the both of you holding for dear life. The squeeze of your inner walls clenching on him almost makes him choke on his spit, the nails of his fingertips forming crescents on your skin. And you scream at it, slamming your ass onto him as you both climb up to orgasm.
Within seconds, it hits the both of you like a train. This had to be Gojo’s favorite part of the entire thing, experiencing having your folds clamp and flutter around him as you cry for him. It took everything in his power not to come with you because he wants to have you on him a little longer. You just felt too good to let go — too addicted to your body to be done with one round.
When the contractions subside while your slurred howls get quieter, Gojo gives you a few minutes to let your body be free from the aftershocks. He knows your body is extra sensitive now, rubbing circles on your back and placing chaste kisses on your clavicle. You hum under his lips, letting the wave of your crescendo exude out from you quietly.
However, since you wanted to be such a tease, why not be a tease back? At least, that’s what Gojo thought before he threw your cunt another snap of the hips, his cock jabbing into your delicate walls that haven’t recovered yet. A sharp cry comes from your puffy lips, the hand covering Gojo’s eyes finally freeing him to see you.
He grins with hooded azure eyes, “Sorry, cutie, but I didn’t get to finish. Wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t get to have fun of my own, right?”
You chew on your lip with trenched brows before bringing your face to his. “Don’t you get carried away like last time, Satoru.”
“No promises, princess~” he sings to your ear before humming into your lips.
As mentioned before, Gojo doesn’t hate you — he just hates that he can’t fully express liking you.
But having you on top of him like this, in his embrace, is a nice change of pace he’ll happily get used to.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
“Okay, everyone, class dismissed! Thank you for your time, and see you all on Friday.”
Professor Naga closes up the last class for today, and the students all get up from the seats of their elevated rows to pack up and leave. The clock is ten minutes before seven o’clock, the winter darkness already claiming the sky with a sheet of night. Students are either famished and heading to the dining hall for food, going straight to their dorms or homes, or staying behind for last-minute conversations.
Gojo was one of the latter, deciding to stay behind to chat with the group for a bit. After packing his backpack and putting on his coat, he slings from the table to jump to the row below him, where you were talking with Haibara and Ijichi.
You watch his stunt, ready to lecture, “Jesus, Gojo, what’s all that for? You could’ve just walked around.”
“Ehhhh, why would I do that? That’s so lame.” He comes and bends close to you enough to slang his arm around your shoulders.
But you click your teeth and try to maneuver away from his tall figure. “You’re lame,” you mutter under your breath.
However, Gojo’s ears perked with furrowed brows. “What did you say?”
“You heard me, you lame white furby!” You repeat yourself with a huff and the snow-haired student gawks at your brazenness.
The two of you argue again; students passing by silently exit the class, others stand and watch, and Professor Yaga can only sigh at yet another altercation between you two.
However, it quickly dissipates when Haibara laughs from his seat. “You two, there’s never a dull moment.”
You and Gojo blink at the dark brunette before removing Gojo’s hand from your shoulders. “Hmph, it’s not like it’s my fault; he’s the one who starts it.”
“Oh, what could I possibly do to make Y/n so upset with me this time?” He pushes up his sunglasses, snickering at the scowl you send him.
Ichiji, being the passive second-year he is, meekly changes the topic from the row below you three. “On some brighter news, at least we did well on the presentation.”
“That’s right!” Haibara happily agrees with the statement, leaning against the chair with his hands behind his head. “Professor Yaga seemed really pleased with our arguments; I don’t think he intervened even once. Plus, he said many good things about how we handled the topic. Nice one, team!”
The raven-haired one hums at the other’s exclamation. “I think most of it goes to how Y/n and Gojo bounced off each other’s arguments. How you two pulled up examples from the articles yet remained dignified with your viewpoints was cool to witness. I even saw some students be engaged with the conversation, many amazed with how Y/n refuted Gojo’s arguments elegantly and respectfully.”
But most of all, what the two sophomores wanted to mention was that there was no yelling. To them, the professor, and all the students of this class, you and Gojo presented your presentation without a single tone of malice, no pointless teasing, no name-calling, nothing! It was a civil conversation between two opposing sides. To everyone’s surprise — and thankful stars — today was a success.
You chuckle nervously at the praise. “Oh, come on, you two, don’t let me and Gojo take all the credit. You guys did your part. Especially you, Ichiji; you were an exceptional help for my side and finding sources I could build off from.”
Gojo, on the other hand, rolls his eyes. “Psssh, don’t butter them up like that; without us, they would’ve failed this presentation big time. No offense.” He was forced to say that when you called him by his last name and hit him with your elbow.
None taken, the two younger friends say to themselves unbeknownst to each other.
The tall one continues, “Besides, you were the one who did most of the work. I slacked off until the last minute when you whipped me into shape.” Gojo brings his hand on top of your head for a pat. The action surprised you enough to flinch a bit. “Nice work like always, Y/n.”
Were the stars aligned differently, or did Gojo just compliment you? It certainly took you aback, especially the two others who silently kept their observation to themselves.
You could only look at his complacent look for a few seconds before you realized the warmth of your cheeks became stronger. Averting your eyes, you remove his hand from your head. “Thanks, Gojo…” you express gratitude. “You weren’t so bad yourself.”
A cheeky smile, his dimples prominent to blind you. “Awww, would you two look at that? They’re complimenting me, too~” Another bump to the chest has him cackling like a child, and you shake your head with rolled eyes.
The two younger students observe the scene before Haibara forcibly stretches and yawns to catch the two’s attention. “Man, I’m so hungry; I skipped lunch to prepare for this presentation. Me and Ijichi are gonna meet up with Nanami at the dining hall. You guys wanna come?”
You instantly beam at the proposal; who are you to refuse a dinner with your friends? “Sure! I’d love to…Oh! Wait, let me use the restroom and fill my water bottle.”
You rummage through your backpack for your water bottle before exiting the classroom. The boys watch you descend from row after row, and Gojo says, “Don’t take too long; I’ll convince them to leave without you.”
“Hmph, go ahead and try! They invited me; I don’t know who told you to invite yourself.” You stick your tongue out at him before opening and closing the door behind you.
Gojo watches you with a smile still plastered on his face for a few seconds before Ijichi makes a tiny cough to catch his attention, the sunglasses-wearing junior turning to look back down to the other two. He notes the albeit cheesy-smiling faces they harbor, and he lifts a brow. “The hell are you two smiling for?”
The raven-haired sophomore squeaks at the sudden firm tone, “N–Nothing!”
“Pfft, oh come on, Kiyo; let’s not act like we didn’t see what we just saw.”
Gojo catches the nuance of Haibara’s comment. “Saw what?”
“You’re over here talking about our faces, but you’re the one who’s smiling at Y/n as they leave the door?” The brunette sophomore sends a wink to his junior, whose face doesn’t change at the comment.
“And your point is?”
“Well, it seems — to me, at least — there might be something going on with you and Y/n?”
Gojo was prepared for that, opening his mouth to interject quickly. However, the dark-haired other beat him to the punch. “Now that you mention it, Gojo and Y/n have been kind of…stable? There's still the usual arguments, but those haven't happened as much since last week…”
“Right!?” Haibara points at Ijichi with exclamation, making the other second-year flinch. “For some reason, things seem to be a little quieter with the two of them now, not to mention them hanging out way more often. Everyone’s been talking about it; even Geto and Shoko asked if Gojo had done anything that made Y/n passive?”
“I asked Nanami about it on Monday; he thinks maybe Y/n finally knocked some sense into Gojo’s childish brain to have him be so civil to engage without yelling their head off.”
“Pffthaha, I wouldn’t go that far. Y/n did just kick him in the shin yesterday for scaring them from behind.”
“Ahh, yes, well, that was deserved.”
“You two realize I’m still standing right the fuck here, right?” No, they hadn’t because the two discerned the twitch of Gojo’s brow after conversing about the tall, white-haired boy.
“But it’s true!”
Another voice enters the set, making Gojo raise his head, and the other two turn to their left. It was some girl and her friend. Gojo knew of her; she sat next to him during class. Again, he knew of her, meaning she had no significance to his knowledge.
And yet, she speaks to the three boys. “You and Y/n have gotten a lot more close these past weeks compared to previous semesters—“
“Real close, too!” Their friend adds on from behind. “It’s as if you two are like a couple.”
“So…Are you two….a thing?”
Gojo could tell from a mile away what this was. Obviously, the first girl has a thing for him — he can see the anxiousness from the twiddle of her thumbs and avoidant eye contact. Although he wasn’t interested, he couldn’t even answer the question the way he wanted. What the hell could he say: that you two are in a secret relationship? He knows you’d have his grave ready before he could finish that confession.
And he can’t say the two of you are in any relationship either; it’s not what you would’ve told them. To everyone else, you and Gojo are friends who would preferably be caught dead rather than lying in bed together. So, might as well keep that facade up.
“Not that it’s any of your business,” he starts with the push of his sunglasses. “Y/n is a pretty good friend, and I’d like to keep it at that.”
Haibara and Ijichi turn from Gojo to look at each other and shrug. Before turning back, something caught their eye that caused the two sophomores’ skin to turn white.
Ijichi tries to prevent Gojo from speaking further. “G-Gojo—“
However, the tall one doesn’t listen. “I mean, sure, they got a nice personality and are independent…Kinda pretty, too, not gonna lie. But they’re not really my type. I mean, have you seen them? Just a little person who likes to find trivial stuff to yell at me over. Angry at the world around them, I’d say.“
“Go. Jo.” Haibara says the junior’s name through gritted teeth, bringing his hand up by his neck and drawing an imaginary horizontal line back and forth — a gesture for Gojo to not say anymore. But unfortunately, the sign wasn’t seen, and the words kept pouring out.
“And to be honest, can you imagine? Me and Y/n, a couple? Jesus Christ, that would be fucking exhausting to deal with, especially with someone so boring and too uncute like them. I’ve seen prettier, been with better. I feel sorry for the poor bastard who does end up with them—“
“SATORU GOJO!”
Now — that sudden burst of yell from a loud, masculine voice — that was what got Gojo’s attention. It’s what got the attention of everyone else in the room. The snow-haired student jerks to look at the professor standing at the front, the older man with a deep frown. “What?
The professor doesn’t answer him. Instead, he points to the left of him with his chin with a huff. With common sense, Gojo turns behind him to see where the older man points. And at that moment, he felt his very being drop to the soles of his feet. Haibara and Ijichi took a slow breath in unison at the immediate tension.
Behind him stood you, a lone figure holding their water bottle within three arm’s length away from the group. But that was sufficient enough for you to have heard everything said.
Breathing suddenly felt impossible for Gojo; his entire body was stiff under your gaze. His shades could hide his eyes, but he wasn’t sure it could shield the instant shame that slapped him across the face from you.
And that was another thing: the look you harbored was indecipherable — the true definition of disengagement. There were no widened eyes, quivering lips, or shaky hands. You stood plainly and looked as though you were detached from the entire situation. And that was what scared him the most.
This was strike one.
He dared not move when you began walking up, and your eyes then shifted to ignore his presence. “Hey, Yu,” the brunette straightened his posture at the use of the first name. “I think I’ll have to decline on that dinner offer. I’m a little tired and have a paper I need to work on…Maybe next time?”
“Uhh, yeah, sure, no problem.” He answers with a sweat.
Wait a second. Gojo tries to call for you, “Y/n—“
“Ijichi,” but you immediately shut him down and directed your attention to the other sophomore friend as you put on your coat and stuffed your water bottle back into your bag. “Be sure to submit the presentation template and sources to the course site before the end of the day, please.”
“U–Uhh, already done, Y/n.” He squeaks while reassuring.
Wait, please. The tall one tries again, “Wait, Y/n—“
“Good.” You sling your backpack on, refusing to look at the person trying to talk to you. “Well, I’ll be seeing you, then.” And with that, you turn on your heel and head down the row to leave.
No, wait, stop— “Y/n, wait!” This was strike two.
Gojo doesn’t hesitate to call out to you. At that moment, he follows you to the class steps where you were a row down left from the door. He grabs your hand without thinking, the size of your palm captured by his slender fingers. He knew it was a risky move, but he had to — he had to get you to talk with him right now, if not ever. Because the latter is something he isn’t ready for, something he didn’t think would be a possibility.
And yet, he will learn this lesson of being prepared for the impossible when you rapidly turn to him. Strike three.
SLAP!
Have you ever seen someone get smacked in the face so hard that their sunglasses come off? The remaining two girls who witnessed it know for sure now. Haibara and Ijichi won’t admit to it as they immediately turn to the other side of the room when they saw your hand move. But please believe they winced at the sound of the impact. The same goes for Professor Yaga, who was too stunned to speak, yet it was a valid outcome.
Gojo didn’t move a single limb, allowing the stinging feeling on his cheek to course through his facial muscles. His eyes were glued to the carpeted ground; he knew that’s where they were supposed to be. And you snatched your hand away from his grasp, leaving his fingers to suffer in forced loneliness.
“You…you think it’s all fun and games to say stuff like that when I turn my back for a few minutes, huh?” He can see your hand palpitate from his peripheral; the anger depicted alone was enough to interpret. And the tremble in your voice? It felt like an arrow to his being. “…Look at me.”
He’d be a fool to have you repeat yourself; he has lost that right to toy with you now. With a slow inhale, Gojo rotates his head at you, azure eyes tracking up your figure to your face. And when it lands at that destination, his heart is shot down.
Tears stream down vexed, watery eyes. Your brows furrowed, and your bottom lip chewed in a terrible attempt to stop it from quivering. The rise and fall of your shoulders as you moderate your breathing, trying so hard not to let your temper dwell into a deeper phase of ugly. It was bad enough you’re crying in public, in front of your peers, your teacher — and it was because of him.
“From this day forward,” you fight your sniffles to say your statement as clearly as possible. “Don’t you ever talk to me, Satoru Gojo. Enjoy your life without something as boring as me.”
And with that, you dismiss yourself from him and the class altogether, the room silent even after the slam of the door closed. No one says anything, too shocked from the event to utter a letter.
The silence aids the ringing in Gojo’s ears, his breathing still having trouble maintaining a balanced front. The cheek you slapped burned with pain; he’s sure the skin is as red as a cherry.
Oh, fuck.
He brings a hand to his face, his body fighting the trembling. The ringing in his ears worsens, along with the pounding in his head that beats like a drum. His eyes stuck to the ground below him, choosing to focus on something inanimate and not living.
Fuck, fuck, fuck—
All he could think of in this time and place was you. Memories flashing right before him, of you and only you. He can hear the way you say his name, both in vexation and in sweet tunes. Your smiles, your frowns, your huffs, your whispers. When your eyebrows scrunch whenever you express worry for him, how you’re never afraid to stand up against him when making a point, the smile that’s been blinding him for many days and nights — the smile he wouldn’t mind seeing for eternity.
All those memories were one stab to his heart after another. And every time a recollection ended, a flash of your crying face would return to haunt him. Tears that weren’t meant to be there but were, and warm feelings you expressed with him were gone the moment he saw your eyes void of feelings for him. At least, that’s what he saw.
He hurt you. That was the only revelation that haunted him where he stood, making his voice falter from confidence. It was a revelation he never meant to bring about. And now that it exists and he sees the damage, nothing would be better for him now than the ground beneath him swallowing him whole.
“What…the fuck…”

© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 ❤︎ reblogs + comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ☆ dividers by @/cafekitsune & @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more.
#𝑯𝒐𝒔𝒉𝒊 ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ 𝑾𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔: 𝑭𝒊𝒄𝒔#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#gojo x reader#gojo smut#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo smut#satoru gojo x you#gojou satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen fic#jjk fics#anime smut
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thinking about collide ellie and reader on snl…
NO BECAUSE I 100% thought of writing Ellie and reader on SNL but there was already SO much happening in the fic that I was like okay Val. breathe. you do NOT need to write an entire season of sketch comedy in the middle of your lesbian slow burn.
BUT IN MY HEART (and in the AU) THEY WENT. They 100% went.
SO, FOR MY NATION: ROCKSTAR!ELLIE X POPSTAR!READER ON SNL.
The episode aired like two weeks after the Grammys, and the SNL writers were frothing at the mouth to recreate the chaos. So obviously, you and Ellie did a full sketch reenacting the Grammy moment—THE “nah. you look too fucking hot right now.” THE “i love you.” The pause that followed. Beat for beat. There was dramatic slow motion. Ellie fake-mic-dropped. You dramatically collapsed to the floor like you’d been shot. The audience BLACKED OUT.
BUT WAIT. There was also that cursed SNL music sketch where you're both singers from different planets. You were a glittery Y2K alien who only sang in autotuned adlibs. Ellie was a country cowboy who doesn’t believe in music unless it’s played on a busted banjo. It made ZERO sense and somehow ended with an animatronic horse doing the dougie. At one point, Ellie LASSOED you and made a kinky joke that wasn't in the script at all. Twitter hasn’t recovered.
Weekend Update?? A disaster. You showed up, said four words, and went “ok i’m too hot for this” and just left. Ellie stayed behind and gave a fake PSA about “dating your popstar girlfriend responsibly” and how you should “not accidentally make out on live TV unless it’s for the bit.” It got 70 million views.
AND THEN. THEN. The cheerleader skit. You and Ellie were rival high school cheer captains. Seeing Ellie’s masc ass in a cheer uniform nearly ended humanity. She was PISSED about it but after shooting she begged the costume department to let her keep it. The skit escalated immediately—normal flips turned into Ellie back handspringing off the desk, you pulled a megaphone from thin air and screamed “L FOR LESBIAN.” A marching band materialized out of nowhere playing She. And then, inexplicably, it ended with the two of you slow-dancing in cheer uniforms under falling confetti while Pedro Pascal (as the school principal) screamed “THIS IS A SCHOOL ASSEMBLY.”
OKAY BUT YOU’RE NOT EVEN READY FOR THE "LESBIAN QUIET LUXURY" SKIT. Like. You and Ellie played these absolutely feral rich girls who inherited old money from their great-great-grandmothers (who were, quote, “roommates”), and now live in a haunted countryside manor in Vermont where they “just do pottery, collect oil paintings of women with secrets, and make eye contact with ghosts.”
It was shot like a Vogue mini-doc. You wore a floor-length linen nightgown, held a glass of wine, and whispered “I only speak in lowercase now. Capital letters are performative.” Ellie was doing an interview in a library and said, completely straight-faced, “we don’t have a television, we just recite Sappho to each other while our oat milk steams.”
Then it CUT to you two at a farmers market arguing with an old man about whether figs have feminine energy. Ellie was like “you don’t get it. figs are bisexual.” And the old man just left. He walked off the set. That wasn’t scripted.
The sketch ended with both of you holding a single candle, standing barefoot in a field at dusk, and solemnly saying “quiet luxury is loving your partner so hard it echoes through generations.” And then you made out behind a hedge while a harpist played Phoebe Bridgers.
That sketch is on every sapphic aesthetic moodboard.
The cast was breaking so bad the cameras were shaking. Cecily Strong had to walk off set. It was the exact brand of unhinged chaotic lesbian television we DESERVE.
Anyway yeah. You were on SNL. Sorry for not writing it in the fic. I might still. Don’t tempt me.
#⭒࿐COLLIDE - series#lesbian#lesbian pride#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams#ellie williams imagine#ellie williams smut#lesbian shot#ellie x reader#ellie williams x you#sapphic smut#ellie the last of us#tlou part 2#ellie tlou#ellie x fem reader#ellie x you#ellie x y/n#ellie williams x reader#the last of us 2#lesbianism#sapphic#wlw post#wlw#wlw yearning#ellie williams headcanons#ellie williams fanfiction#ellie williams the last of us#ellie willams x reader#dina woodward
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Sorry I’m back one more thing: in chapter two of Twilight Bella doesn’t get a library card because the library in Forks has such a limited selection. This is WRONG. You should always get a library card because libraries can get books for you from other libraries in the state through the inter library loan system and getting a card helps their statistics which helps them get grant funding for more books and programs. This is arguably my biggest issue with the series as a whole. Okay I’m done.
WE AGREE, THANK YOU FOR THIS IMPORTANT PSA
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I mean, to be fair, the person he talked to did stress that the process involved signing in, having an escort, and only doing his research in the presence of that escort, and I would guess he was thinking about the long run, in which he was almost certainly planning to do some research that he wouldn't want strangers knowing about. And as a library student, I support him in this. Even if your library does seem like it's fighting the good fight, it's hard to know for sure that an individual librarian isn't going to turn over your reading history when the feds come a-calling. Make sure you know what data your library's collecting and don't let the government know what you're reading, kids!
Friendly reminder that the library caleb confessed his most excruciating secret for was completely public
#sorry i know this was a joke and this reply is also largely joking but i had to toss in the psa 😂#also for the record some libraries do not retain checkout data for the purpose of not having records to turn over lmao#cuz damn the patriot act sure did bring up some Problems with retaining user records lol#BUT you do wanna check that lol#Caleb is exhibiting very reasonable data privacy concerns when living under an authoritarian state!#and we should all take him as a model in this regard. because they are not only for shady and amoral wizards but also for everyone#also everyone read Arrested at the Library by Mariame Kaba#it's a recent zine thats available for free! check it out!#this has been the end of my psa xD#critical role#caleb widogast
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just a topical audio edit for your fine whatever part of the day it is when you've happened upon this.
Transcript:
Audio from FHJY Episode 16: Untapped Rage and NADDPod's Baggin' it with Balnor: Loud Libraries, Questionable Drug PSAs, and Staying Fit w/ Pendergreens. The difference in audio is shown with a cut. Murph: Oh, that's cocked. It almost was a nat 20, but you gotta honor the [strained] cock. --- Pendergreens (Murph): Yeah, you know, uh, sort of, when I smile, I do sort of an "o" face, cause, like, when are you more happy than when you're, uh, [starts to laugh] slangin' some rope. [Emily laughs] Jake: Oh my -
#naddpod#dimension 20#not another dnd podcast#bahumia#baggin it with balnor#brian murphy#pendergreens#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fantasy high junior year spoilers#fhjy
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PAIRING! – choi soobin x fem!reader
SYNOPSIS! - What ever happened to them? Suddenly every single photo, thought, and feeling was erased from their lives as if poof, it never existed and once it was gone it left us all wondering, and searching for something more…
or in which fans of the popular singer Y/N begin to wonder what ever happened to the boy she wrote all those loves songs about….
starting: july 11th, 2023 / ending: august 11th, 2023
that’s the thing official playlist -> HERE !!
PSA: now that this is over, i ask that you do not spam like it as you read the full story, if you do so I will have to block you.
warning(s): profanity, dark humor (die, kms, etc. jokes) angst, not unrequited love but relationships where people want different things, fanwars, more to be added (?)
genre: social media au, e2l, non!idol but famous singers + model/youtuber au, angst, fluff, more to be added!
cast: y/n will use the fc of beabadoobee, all of txt, p1h keeho + possible other p1h members, itzy’s yeji , and tbz sunwoo !!
taglist: @jmin-s @stealanity @iijwon @invuwrld @igotkpoops @telesvng @whippedforbeomgyu @l0ve-joy @envirae @neozon3nha @meiiiwa @kangtaehyunfan029 @chaerybae @ch2won @cinnikoi @wccycc @run2seob @stariszn @haew0nz @neoculturewhat @hyuk4ngel @ddeonubaby @oulspvs @sullystraw @liliyaaaaas-library @rainbowszi @fanfangying1304 @tocupid
taglist is CLOSED!

VENUS DELUXE TRACKLIST:
– album teaser track!
000: coming to you live / twerkin on the runway (intros)
001: LOWKEY
002: TEASERS & TOURS
003: SUGARPLUM ELEGY
004: YOU DATED MY GF? (read: soobin’s backstory)
005: SILLY LITTLE ME
006: KRILL YOURSELF
007: HIM & HIS STUPID FUCKING RAT (sorry odi)
008: THE CONCERT
009: SOOBY/N Q & A!
010: I <3 MY GIRLFRIEND! — end!
end of album – restart to track 001?

© all rights reserved to enluv, do not steal, repost or translate.
#🎞️: that’s the thing.#kflixnet#k labels#choi soobin#tomorrow x together#soobin smau#choi soobin angst#choi soobin fic#choi soobin fluff#choi soobin smau#choi soobin txt#txt soobin#soobin au#soobin angst#soobin fluff#soobin fanfic#soobin social media au#soobin x reader#soobin txt#soobin tomorrow x together#txt angst#txt au#txt choi line#txt choi soobin#txt drabbles#txt fanfic#txt headcanons#txt imagines#txt x reader#txt smau
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