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piratewithvigor · 4 years

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My first thought in regard to every band that gets played on my radio station

ACDC: Every dad’s favourite band

Adams, Bryan: Every mom’s favourite singer until Michael Buble came along

Aerosmith: haha they thought Vince Neil was a lady

Alice Cooper: he’s a Game Of Thrones fanboy and I have proof

Alice In Chains: my sister doesn’t like them because she decided AC were Alice Cooper’s initials ONLY

Allman Brothers Band: good music for dropping acid to

Allman, Gregg: That’s too many Gs for one name

Animals: House Of The Rising Sun, or who even cares

Argent: Sometimes Hold Your Head Up is really catchy

Asia: Tuesdays

Autograph: one of the members went on to be a pharmacist

Bachman-Turner Overdrive: There are just so many pop culture jokes about Taking Care Of Business that whatever I say won’t be as funny

Bad Company: with their song; Bad Company, off their album; Bad Company

Benatar, Pat: Always getting her confused with Patti Smith

Black Crowes: I like them for Lickin, but it doesn’t seem to exist outside of one shoddy video on youtube and my old CD

Blackfoot: this band name feels kind of racy

Black Sabbath: Dio was not better or worse than Ozzy; just different

Blondie: I like Call Me, but Blondie confuses me stylistically

Blue Oyster Cult: MORE COWBELL

Bon Jovi: Hello, childhood trauma, I missed you

Boston: ONE GUY. ONE GUY DID IT ALL AND NO ONE KNOWS

Bowie, David: Don’t let your children watch The Man Who Fell To Earth, or David Bowie’s will end up being the third penis they see in life

Browne, Jackson: Another musician ruined by Supernatural

Buffalo Springfield: Jack Nicholson was at the riot they sing about

Burdon, Eric: no ideas, brain empty

Bush: ditto

Candlebox: ditto once more. Who are these people?

Cars: This band feels so gay and so straight at the same time, I can only assume they’re the poster children of bisexual panic

Cheap Trick: I played Dream Police on Guitar Hero so fucking much because it was the only song anyone who played with me could keep up with

Chicago: Chicago 30 exists, but they do not have 30 albums. Fucking riddle me that

Clapton, Eric: 6 discs in one Greatest Hits is too many. That’s called “re releasing your discography”

Cochrane, Tom: For some reason, everyone thinks Rascal Flats did it better

Cocker, Joe: Belushi did it right

Collective Soul: who?

Collins, Phil: If his biggest hits were done by MCR, they would be emo anthems, but because he’s 5′6″ and from the 80s, they’re not

Cream: *Vietnam flashbacks on the hippie side*

CCR: *Vietnam flashbacks on the war side*

CSNY: David Crosby; meh

Deep Purple: THEY’RE SO MUCH MORE THAN SMOKE ON THE WATER

Def Leppard: the only music for when you’re a heartbroken bitch but also a sexy one

Derek And The Dominos: Clapton and ‘Layla’ broke up

Derringer, Rick: Tom Petty if he was from the midwest

Dio: You thought it was an anime reference, but it was me, Dio

Dire Straits: You can tell how bigoted a radio station is based on how much of Money For Nothing they censor

Doobie Brothers: I have yet to smoke weed, but I listen to the Doobies, and I think that’s pretty close

Dylan, Bob: I take back everything I said about him in my youth

Eagles: Hotel California isn’t their best song, but the memes that come from it are second to none

Edgar Winter Group: @the--blackdahlia

Electric Light Orchestra: Actually an orchestra and sound a fuckton like George Harrison

ELO: I really hesitate to ask what happens with the 7 virgins and a mule

Essex, David: no prominent memories of him

Fabulous Thunderbirds: cannot spell

Faces: Who on earth thought that was a good album name?

Faith No More: I got nothing

Fixx: One Thing Leads To Another is a damn bop

Fleetwood Mac: I ain’t straight, but I’m simply not enough of a witch to enjoy them to full potential

Fogerty, John: He got sued cause he sounded like himself

Foghat: Slow Ride slowly becoming less coherent feels like a drug trip

Foo Fighters: He was just excited to buy a grill

Ford, Lita: deserved better

Foreigner: dramatically overplayed

Frampton, Peter: a masterful user of the talk box

Free: dramatically underplayed

Gabriel, Peter: leaving Genesis changed him a lot

Genesis: if someone likes Genesis, clarify the era, because yes, it does matter

Georgia Satellites: sing like you have a cactus in your ass

Golden Earring: Twilight Zone slaps, but it doesn’t slap as hard as this station thinks it does

Grand Funk Railroad: Funk

Grateful Dead: I like their aesthetic more than their music

Great White: there are so many fucking shark jokes

Greenbaum, Norman: makes me think of Subway for some reason

Green Day: the first of the emo revolution

Greg Kihn Band: RocKihnRoll is literally the most clever album name I’ve ever seen

Guns N Roses: They have more than three good songs, but radio stations never recognize that

Hagar, Sammy: I’m still trying to figure out where he lived to take 16 hours to get to LA driving 55 and how fucking fast was he driving beforehand?

Harrison, George: He went from religious to rock, and if he had continued rocking, he would have gotten too cool

Head East: I respect people who use breakfast foods as album names

Heart: Magic Man and Barracuda are played at least once every goddamn day. They’re not even the best songs!

Hendrix, Jimi: I have both a cousin and a sibling named after Hendrix references

Henley, Don: Dirty Laundry gives me too much inspiration

Hollies: Somehow sound like they’re both from the 60s and the 80s at the same time

Idol, Billy: he’s doing well for himself

INXS: Terminator vibes

Iris, Donnie: knockoff Roy Orbison

James Gang: too many funks

Jane’s Addiction: if TMNT had a grunge band representative

Jefferson Airplane: *assorted cheers*

Jefferson Starship: *assorted boos*

Jethro Tull: The only band to make you feel not cool enough to play the flute

Jett, Joan: icon

J. Geils Band: I requested them on the radio once and it got played

Joel, Billy: he really did just air everybody’s business like that

John Cafferty And The Beaver Brown Band: literally wtf is that name

John, Elton: yarn Elton sits in my basement, unstaring. Please someone take him from me

Joplin, Janis: Queen

Journey: Stop overplaying Don’t Stop Believing. It takes away from the rest of the repetoire

Judas Priest: literally started the gay leather aesthetic

Kansas: another fucking band Supernatural stole

Kenny Wayne Shepherd: the man confuses me to the point where he isn’t in the right place alphabetically

Kiss: Mick Mars and I will simply have to disagree on the subject

Kravitz, Lenny: runaway vibes

Led Zeppelin: Fucking fight me if you don’t think they’re the most talented band (maybe not the most talented individually, but collectively, no one comes close)

Lennon, John: My least favourite Beatle for reasons

Live: I got nothin

Living Colour: slap a decent amount

Loverboy: do you not get TURNT the fuck up to the big Loverboy hits? Who hurt you??

Lynyrd Skynyrd: Sweet Home Alabama is a Neil Young diss track

Marshall Tucker Band: no opinion

Manfred Mann’s Earth Band: VERY STRONG OPINIONS THAT THEY AREN’T GOOD

McCartney, Paul/Wings: Power couple

Meatloaf: I have nothing but respect for a man who willingly named himself Meatloaf

Mellencamp, John: voted cutest lesbian of 1987

Metallica: I liked their appearance on Jimmy Fallon

Midnight Oil: I get them confused for Talking Heads a lot

Modern English: who?

Molly Hatchet: Hollies vibes, but also Georgia Satellites vibes

Money, Eddie: DAN AVIDAN, IF YOU SEE THIS, COVER TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT

Motley Crue: Stan Mick Mars and John Corabi. They’re the only ones who deserve it

Mott The Hoople: no one loves them except for David Bowie

Mountain: props for naming an album ‘Climbing’

Nazareth: I want to make a John Mulaney joke here, but I can never come up with one

Nicks, Stevie: witch queen

Night Ranger: I get them confused with Urge Overkill

Nirvana: Kurt Cobain was the ally grunge needed

Nova, Aldo: he’s Canadian, at least

Nugent, Ted: *serves a ghost as jerky*

Offspring: nothing here

Osbourne, Ozzy: this bitch crazy

Outfield: Your Love is kind of a sketchy song, but it slaps hard

Palmer, Robert: low quality Eddie Money

Pearl Jam: *grunts in Eddie Vedder*

Petty, Tom: I have so many feelings about Tom Petty and they are all good

Pink Floyd: which one is Pink?

Plant, Robert: solo career is a crapshoot, but his voice is unparalleled

Poison: I want them to write a song called ‘Alice Cooper’

Pretenders: I want to say good things, but I have nothing to say

Queen: A doctor of astrophysics, a screaming girl, a disco queen and a diva walk into a bar. It’s Queen; they’re there to play a gig

Queensryche: neutral opinion

Quiet Riot: they got big because of a song they hated. I love that

Rafferty, Gerry: the second-sexiest sax opening in all of music

Rainbow: Ritchie Blackmore created something very magnificent

Ram Jam: one good song and they didn’t even write it

Ratt: I’m sure they have more than Round And Round, but I don’t know it

RHCP: funky, but if you have paid money to hear them, you’re going to The Bad Place (I don’t make the rules)

Red Rider: basically Golden Earring

Reed, Lou: Walk On The Wild Side would be such a cool song if it wasn’t so dull

REM: American Tragically Hip

REO Speedwagon: Props for having a dad joke as an album title

Rolling Stones: Never in my life could I imagine the drummer being named anything but Charlie

Rush: How to make being uncool the coolest fucking shit

Santana: The world needs more Santana

Scandal: There’s something really funny about The Warrior being my brother’s “song” with his girlfriend

Scorpions: Was Wind Of Change written by the CIA? Only the spotify podcast I got an ad for once could say

Seger, Bob: A different variety of Eric Clapton (frankly a better variety, but that’s just me)

Simple Minds: we ALL forgot about you

Skid Row: Sebastian Bach is prettier than all of us

Soundgarden: music that makes you feel like you dunked your head underwater

Springsteen, Bruce: my arch-nemesis. Maybe someday, he’ll find out about it

Squeeze: according to my friends, the stupidest band name ever, but they’re theatre kids, so you know

Squier, Billy: If he can make it through 1984 alive, you can make it through whatever bad day you’re having

Stealers Wheel: Yet another band who I always mistake for George Harrison

Steely Dan: my house’s nickname for the Robber in Settlers Of Catan

Steppenwolf: Either makes me think of Jay & Silent Bob, Jack Nicholson, or that time I had to cut 6lbs of onions

Steve Miller Band: when you’re in the right mood, they slap hard

Stewart, Rod: my soundtrack to summer 2015

Stills, Stephen: Love The One You’re With Is Catchy, but the lyrics are questionable

Stone Temple Pilots: the only band to write a song about goo you smear on yourself

Stray Cats: an obscene amount of merch is available for them

Styx: Supernatural would have ruined them for me too if I hadn’t been into them previously.

Supertramp: I hunted for Breakfast In America for two years and it was worth every hunt

Sweet: I will never understand my two-month obsession with Ballroom Blitz when I was 15, but it was legit all I listened to

Talking Heads: you may find yourself in a pizza hut. And you may find yourself in a taco bell. And you may find yourself at the combination pizza hut and taco bell. And you may ask yourself; ‘how did I get here?’

Temple Of The Dog: I keep confusing them for Nazareth

Ten Years After: somehow still relevant

Tesla: not the car or the dude

The Beatles: Evokes a lot of opinions from people. Mine is that I love them

The Clash: I showed my sister the ‘Lock The Taskbar’ vine ONCE and it still kills her

The Doors: evokes teenage terror from deep within my soul

The Guess Who: Canada’s answer to confusing question-themed band names

The Kinks: kinky

The Police: wrote the theme of 2020 and everyone somehow forgot it was about a teacher resisting becoming a pedophile

The Ramones: playing all of their songs in a row wouldn’t take more than 2 hours

The Romantics: you don’t think you know them, but if you’ve seen Shrek 2, you have

The Who: If someone can explain Tommy to me, I’d be glad to hear it

The Zombies: I think they happened because of the 60s

Thin Lizzy: Could the boys maybe leave town?

Thorogood, George: blues, but make it modern

Toto: the most memed song behind All Star

Townshend, Pete: just makes me think of the end of Mr. Deeds

T-Rex: Mark Bolan is an icon

Triumph: The no-name brand of Rush

Tubes: like the yogurt

Twisted Sister: they did a christmas album and my mom does NOT hate it

U2: U2 Movers; we move in mysterious ways

Van Halen: RIP Eddie

Van Morrison: honestly, who’s named Van?

Vaughn, Stevie Ray: Steamy Ray Vaughn

Walsh, Joe: The Smoker You Drink The Player You Get

War: Foghat, but even groovier

Whitesnake: the most successful band to be named after a penis

Wright, Gary: the 90s thanks him for writing the song every movie used for the “guy sees cute girl and it’s love at first sight” scene

Yes: To Be Continued

Young, Neil: The best part of CSNY

Zevon, Warren: the album cover of Excitable Boy makes me deeply uncomfortable for reasons I don’t understand

ZZ Top: has been the same three guys since 1969. Lineup unchanged.

3 Doors Down: They feel a little modern to be on a classic rock station, but whatever

38 Special: Why 38?

#I made this instead of doing homework #Classic Rock #Meme

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ckret2 · 3 years

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GVK spoilers below, about conspiracy theories

I’m gonna get around to posting all my GVK reactions but this one got long so I’m putting it in its own post.

The Monsterverse series, in both KOTM and GVK, has some pretty interesting things to say about conspiracy theories and ecofascism; but, unfortunately, it doesn’t REALIZE that it’s saying any of them, so it keeps dropping the ball and missing opportunities to explore them.

Starting with KOTM, “there’s too many humans so we’ve just gotta let some die and that’ll fix pollution 🤷” is like false ecofascist claim #1 but at no point in the movie was it challenged as unfactual, it was just presented as a sad truth that people have to do morally ambiguous things about. Except that it’s just literally mathematically not true!

Emma could be such a GREAT, believable character—especially in this world with, like, frigging QAnon nonsense getting such widespread traction—showing a compelling, realistic tragedy of how this normal, intelligent, well-educated white mom who otherwise is likely left-leaning (pro-environmentalism, pro-nature conservation, got a doctorate and generally more academia correlates with more liberal ideals) got sucked into a far right ecofascist doomsday militia that combines hokey pseudo-environmentalist propaganda with “in balance with nature” semi-religious mysticism, because she was exploited at a time when she was emotionally vulnerable (when her kid had just died) and was lacking healthy emotional support (when her husband turned to alcohol and then ran off).

... Except the movie never says that her “overpopulation” beliefs are WRONG. It says that they’re RIGHT, and she was just forced to choose between two losing scenarios—deliberately kill most of humanity to hopefully save a few, or watch humanity kill itself.

Nobody bothers to mention that the size of the population isn’t the problem, it’s the disproportionate pollution coming out of first world countries. Nobody bothers to mention that when Emma talks about “overpopulation” and shows a screenshot of an overcrowded neighborhood, it ain’t affluent downtown skyscraper condos in Europe or America that she’s highlighting, but large masses of poor people whose neighborhoods look “dirty” to the white woman’s eyes, despite the fact that they’re contributing the least to humanity’s carbon footprint.

Emma’s beliefs are empirically wrong, and if KOTM had ever demonstrated that, it would’ve been brilliant. Instead, it tries to say “she was right, she just went too far,” and in doing so loses an opportunity to make Emma a deeply believable, timely, realistic, well-meaning but wrong villain.

And now we’ve got GVK, which has swerved away from the ecofascism but doubled down on the conspiracy theories. Here, Emma’s daughter, who was raised for five years with what amounts to a survivalist doomsday cult’s beliefs, when faced with the grief of her mother’s death and the struggle of trying to reconnect to her estranged father, turns—again—to conspiracies to make sense of the world around her. Because that’s what Madison’s been raised with, and even though she got disillusioned with the particular “we know something special that the normal people can’t handle” beliefs that she was raised with, that kind of thinking is still what she knows. She’s still doing what her mother raised her to do! She’s still pulling the “hypercompetent highly-trained lone wolf ‘survivor’ saves the world” shtick that Jonah’s gang taught her to do—but it’s never brought up that it was screwed up to raise a child like that and it’s screwed up for her to still be interacting with the world like that.

At least THIS conspiracy theorist isn’t literally advocating for global genocide. Bernie’s focus largely seems to be on “this corporation is trying to screw people over and screw up the environment—” (because in Monsterverse, as in Toho monster movies as a whole, kaiju/titans and the environment are symbolically conflated, so if a corporation is messing with Godzilla then they’re messing with nature as well) “—so I’m gonna find out what they’re up to and be a whistleblower.” Which is great! Solid start! We’ve got a guy taking aim at big business and who says “when the weather Godzilla acts erratic, it’s not random chance, it’s because a big business is doing something it shouldn’t,” so it looks like we’ve got a leftist conspiracy theorist, that’s different, could be interesting to explore.

Except then he starts talking about governments serving a “global elite” and facilities built by “lizard people” and then we’ve swung right back around to the far right by casually dropping in a couple of antisemitic conspiracy theories.

Add that in with the whole “hollow earth” thing and damn, we’re namedropping a lot of antisemitic conspiracy theories, aren’t we? Granted, most conspiracy theories ARE antisemitic—but like, they could have dug around for some that aren’t. Have him talk some more about Roswell. Have him bring up things that we’ve actually got documentation happened and theorize that MKUltra research was used in Apex’s development of their pilot’s psychic mind link to Mechagodzilla. Have him bring up tailor-made-for-the-Monsterverse conspiracy theories that don’t exist here, “Monster Zero is actually the secret weapon of a nearby ‘Planet X’ that’s gonna invade,” whatever. Instead, nah, we went with the antisemitic ones.

Now, do I think the writers behind KOTM and GVK intended antisemitism? Do I think they’re closet alt-right trying to dogwhistle the fascists in the audience? No, I think they think they’re making fun of—or playing around with—what they see as harmless, unbelievable, way-out-there conspiracy theories. I think they know just enough about “hollow earth” and “global elites” and “lizard people” to make references to them, but not in a way that promotes the common antisemitic understanding of those theories as true. (Monsterverse’s hollow earth, a weird underground jungle where King Kong lives, sure doesn’t resemble the usual conspiracy theory.) To me, the way they were used suggests the writers didn’t deeply understand (or at least, didn’t deeply think about) what the theories really mean—nor what they imply about the beliefs of the characters who espouse them. Which is the crux of my issue with how the movies deal with conspiracy theories and ecofascists and so forth (beyond the fact that, hey, I just don’t like seeing likable characters casually referencing antisemitic beliefs): the writers didn’t think about the implications.

Because these things do imply a lot! For example, if, say, Josh, total newb to conspiracy theories, had asked about lizard people, I would have grimaced to hear it but I would have believed that he’s a teen boy that picked up the term at school and doesn’t know anything about what’s behind it. But on the other hand, I can’t believe a guy so deep in the conspiracy theory world that he bathes in bleach doesn’t know exactly what those conspiracies mean—or, even if he does somehow staunchly refuse to believe that “lizard people” is a code for “Jewish people,” that whatever circle of conspiracy theorists he runs with doesn’t use it as a code. Bernie didn’t pick up those beliefs in a void. I really doubt that’s what the writers wanted to imply about the goofy likable underdog with a podcast.

And sure, the “global elite” and “lizard people” references are presented like a “haha look how far out his beliefs are” joke—the same as the fluoride reference, which is basically Hollywood code for “bogus nonsense only complete lunatics believe” thanks to Dr. Strangelove—but at the same time, they’re never really disproven. Nothing he believes is challenged. Nor are any of Madison’s beliefs that she’s picked up from him. Everything they both believe is either a “wow that’s wild” throwaway joke, or else they’re presented as totally right, e.g. about Apex being up to dubious crap that’s irritating Godzilla.

Just like Emma, who was presented as in the wrong not because she was incorrect but because she WAS correct but took the wrong actions. And just like Rick in KOTM, who kept bring up the hollow earth theory like a running joke but then the joke was that he was right.

And that’s at the root of the issues with both movies’ portrayals of conspiracy theories. Aside from the jokes that are never explored (and therefore, never disproven), the movies say that, every time it matters, the conspiracy theorists on the fringe are correct, the heroes that need to be believed. Even though all (excluding Rick) are characters who have suffered deep loss, who have been hurt, who you can imagine as passionate but grieving people who turned to dangerously wrong extremism in their search for meaning... the movies don’t portray them as people who have been led astray by their pain, but enlightened by their pain. Which is what they themselves think they are, sure, but that doesn’t line up with reality.

The movies never forces them to grapple with how far they’ve gone astray from reality—and I think they should. I’d like to see them processing the revelation that their beliefs are wrong. Whether it’s as big as somebody trying to convince Emma that killing half the population doesn’t fix the pollution caused by corporations rich enough to weather a global hurricane, or as small as Bernie looking at Apex’s financial records and realizing the company’s money is going to the CEO’s vacation home rather than a reptile government and deciding to rethink those beliefs after they’ve checked out Hong Kong.

“Conspiracy theorist is right about everything” is already a common enough trope that Monsterverse isn’t breaking any new ground with it. And in a franchise like Godzilla, whose movies are rife with messages both allegorical and literal about environmentalism, corporate exploitation, the futility of military action, international politics, war crimes... letting the conspiracy theorists be wrong and showing that they’re wrong and what that wrongness can lead to would mesh far better with the themes of Godzilla.

Think about Jonah and Emma unleashing Ghidorah (who emerged from a destroyed ice cap and immediately caused devastating hurricanes—a perfect metaphor for climate change), and what that could say about how ecofascists who purportedly joined the movement because they support environmentalism are actually far more in bed with the destructive industries really at the root of environmental damage... if the movie acknowledged them as ecofascists.

Think about how Jonah collected Ghidorah’s head at the end of KOTM and by the time of GVK it was in Apex’s hands, and how this exchange demonstrates that “I want to unleash titans to destroy humanity to save the environment” Jonah the ecoterrorist and “I want to beat the titans to protect humanity” Simmons the billionaire CEO actually have far more similar ideals beneath the surface of their opposed goals—ideals that have less to do with the environment or with humanity and more to do with securing personal power and control... if the movie had explained how this exchange took place.

Think about how Madison’s mother died trying to mitigate just a little of the damage she did under the thrall of a doomsday cult’s skewed beliefs, how even though Madison broke free she found herself embroiled in similarly skewed beliefs just three years later, and how powerful it would have been if she recognized that she herself had walked right back into the kind of fringe beliefs her mother had led her into as a child, and if she had then resolved to learn how this kept happening to her and break this pattern... if the movie had ever let her realize that she was making the same mistakes, or even acknowledged them as mistakes.

There’s so much potential there, so many things you can see happening right beneath the surface... but the movies never touch on them. And so it looks like, in Monsterverse, all fringe beliefs are either right or harmless. And we never get the “disillusioned conspiracy theorist” story that could be so brilliant and that, right now, would be so relevant.

#gvk #godzilla vs kong #gvk spoilers #godzilla vs kong spoilers #godzilla #kotm #meta

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bittywitches · 4 years

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A random Dialogue I came up with in my head while trying to fall asleep the night before. // G.D

Been having trouble writing lately and ended up just daydreaming (night dreaming?) abt Grayson one night, so I thought I’d try and just get it out and write something. Enjoy :)

You’re sitting in your bedroom, laying on your back with your laptop sitting on your stomach. You’re cuddled up with your jumbo-oversized teddy bear, your head resting on it’s furry stomach and your elbows lazily resting against it’s fat squishy legs. A google doc is opened on your screen, and you’re trying to half-assedly write a response for your final project on why Duke Orsino actually was gay in Twelfth Night, along with many of the other supporting characters, despite what most old white bardolators may tell you.

You feel a vibration near your leg, and you tilt your head to the side to see someone calling your phone. You pick it up, and your eyes widen when you see that it's a facetime call from Grayson Dolan. This was, of course, a shock, considering you and Grayson weren’t even that close friends, you only occasionally texted each other anymore, barely ever called, and literally NEVER facetimed. You guys had barely spoken to each other since quarantine had started, so it was definitely a surprise.

Your eyes flicker to your laptop screen, seeing that it’s around 9pm. Not too late that it’s sketchy or anything, but still pretty late for it to be strange.

You place your laptop down beside you and situp, leaning back against your headboard, quickly tying your hair up into a quick messy bun to make yourself look somewhat presentable. You slide the green phone icon across your screen.

Grayson’s face appears on your phone. He’s wearing a cute oversized fuzzy hoodie. His short hair is a bit frizzy, and it still takes you by surprise because you’re so used to seeing his long flowy locks.

“Heyy,” Grayson says, smiling at you. From behind his screen, Grayson sets himself down onto the living room couch, laying back on the arm.

“Hey.” You respond.

“What’re you up to?”

“Uhh, not much. Just working on final assignments and whatnot.”

“Oh, yea, school’s almost over for you, right?”

“Yep, just a few more weeks.”

“Bet you’re excited to finally get time off.”

You chuckle. “Yeah, tired of being stressed all the time.”

“Makes sense.”

An awkward silence fills both your rooms.

“Soo…” Grayson lays his head on the side of his couch.

“What’s up? Why’d you call?” You ask him.

“Oh, no reason. Just bored and felt like talking to someone.”

“Ethan not home?”

“Nah, he went out skateboarding with some friends.”

“This late?”

“It’s not that late. Just went to the park nearby.”

“Sounds fun. You know, I’ve always wanted to learn how to skateboard.”

“Yea?”

“Mhm. Maybe E can teach me sometime.”

“Hey, I know how to skateboard too. And I’d definitely be a much better teacher.”

You laugh. “Alright, next time we meet up you can teach me how to skateboard.”

“It’s a date.”

You both give a lighthearted chuckle, but then things turn quiet again.

“Erm, hold on.” You place your phone down on your bed.

“Where’re you goin’?”

“Gonna put my phone on a pillow so I don’t have to keep holding it,” You say, grabbing your nearest one and doing your best to balance your phone on top of it.

“Is that a giant teddy bear?” From the angle of your phone, Grayson can see your big stuffed animal sitting behind you.

“Haha, yea.” You lean back down on it briefly to give him a better idea of the size. “He’s my cuddle buddy.”

“That’s cute.”

“Our relationship has gotten a lot stronger since quarantine started.” You peck the bear on the nose. Grayson laughs.

“I’m happy for you guys.” You giggle, sitting back up.

“Why thank you.” You turn your attention back to your laptop quickly, and Grayson follows your line of vision.

“So what subject is this final for?”

“English.” You sigh. “Which sucks, because I’m shit at it.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

“Oh but it is. I always do incredibly bad, I’m literally the worst.”

“Well you’re definitely not the worst, because I exist.”

“Well yeah but it’s not your fault that you can’t read.”

“Hey, I can read!”

“Sorry, It’s not your fault that you’re ass at reading. It is however my fault that I can’t write for shit.”

He laughs. “Fine, sure.”

You giggle. “Sorry. Just a bit stressed.”

“No big deal.”

Silence again. Usually now would be the time you’d make some excuse and cut the call. But for some reason unknown to you, you didn’t want to do that. You want to fill it.

“Oh, I watched your guys’ last video.” You raise an eyebrow at him. “Tell me you guys weren’t just trying to look like douchebags with your literal 100 grand.”

“Aughhh,” He groans, rubbing his face with the hand not holding his phone. “I swear we really weren’t.”

“Uhuh.”

“I realize that it may not look like that,”

“Oh really?”

“Considering we actually had wads of cash,”

“Mhmmm.”

“But we weren't, I swear. We just thought it’d be funny for a stupid little video.”

“Okay then.”

“Hey!”

“Not judging.”

“Since when do you watch our videos anyways?”

You gave him a side-look. “What do you mean? You think I don’t?”

He shrugs. “Dunno. Just assumed…”

“You’re my friend. ‘Course I do.”

He smiles.

“Plus they are pretty fun. Like to have them on in the background when I work sometimes..”

“No way, really?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“I mean, all the ones since quarantine we’ve had to be pretty creative with. Since we’re stuck at home and all.”

“You guys don’t give yourselves enough credit. I love what you come up with. It’s cool to just listen to you both ramble about stuff.”

“...Are you saying you also listen to the podcast?”

Your eyes shoot back to him. He was actually joking, but seeing your guilty expression lead to the smug sort of look on his face.

“You guys have very satisfying voices, okay?”

“Uhuh.”

“Shut the fuck up!” You laugh, and he does as well.

“Either way, thanks. It means a lot that you do. I never really know if people we’re friends with like our stuff, so it’s good to know that at least someone does.”

You smile, and he returns it.

You suddenly hear a ding coming from his side.

“Oh shit almost forgot about my toast-” You see Grayson’s phone wobble as he gets up to head for the kitchen.

“Avocado?”

“You know it.” “Dang, I don’t think I’ve had avocado toast since…” You pause. “Huh. I guess since I accidentally ran into you at that one restaurant and we happened to get food together.”

“What-” He rights the phone so it’s facing him again. “That was ages ago!”

“Yea, I know.”

“That’s unacceptable.”

“You may think so.”

“Alright, so after I teach you how to skateboard, I’m gonna have to take you out for food.”

You laugh. “Is that a set in stone thing?”

“Oh definitely.”

He sets his food down on a table, and you watch as he tries to balance his phone up against something. He sits down, then takes a bit before looking back up at you.

“So when’s this due?”

“Uhh, tomorrow night.”

“You almost done?”

“Er..” You look at your half written page. “...sort of.”

“So no,” he chuckles, and you do too.

“I’ll finish it, don’t worry.”

“Didn’t say I was.”

“Well that’s ru-”

“Because I know you’ll finish it,” He interrupts you, and you roll your eyes. “You always do.”

You sigh, setting your elbow down on your knee and resting your face on your hand. You watch him silently for a bit, and he takes a few more bites before realizing your eyes on him.

“What?” He says, food still in his mouth.

“Nothin’,”

“Yea?”

“Yea, just… kinda just miss you.” You finally blurt out.

He stops chewing suddenly, and looks at his phone with a very intent look. He expects you to say more, but you don’t, looking back at your laptop screen.

He swallows, then sets his toast down. “Kinda just miss you too.”

You smile, trying to hide it by squishing the palm of your hand into your face, not taking your eyes off of the illuminated laptop.

“Why don’t we hang out anymore?”

“Because we’re legally not allowed to.” You finally look back at your phone, grabbing it from it’s pillow stand and then flopping down onto your bear’s belly.

He rolls his eyes. “No, smartass. Before that.”

You shrug. “Dunno. We never really did to begin with.”

“Sure we did, there was the restaurant, and…” He trails off, looking far away at some corner of the room.

“I mean we hung out with other friends. And we talked sometimes.” You shrug again. “Not really much else though.”

He runs a hand through his short hair. “Why not?”

You laugh. “Bro, I don’t know! You never asked!”

“Well I fuckin wanted to!” He rubs his face with both his hands as he chuckles.

“Really?” Your laughter dies down now, a softer tone taking on your voice.

“Duh, of course.” He tilts his head as his soft eyes look at you. “You’re really fucking cool, and I really wanted to get to know you better, but it felt weird to just randomly come out of no where and be like ‘hey, wanna hang out?’ like that shit usually comes naturally, yknow?”

“Well, we don’t really hang out in the same circles, so I don’t know how it would.”

“Yeah, but I thought maybe…” He sighs. “I don’t know. I didn’t even know if you wanted to be friends or anything, so..”

“Well that’s frustrating.” You slump your shoulders down, relaxing more into your bed. “I really wanted to be friends. Just didn’t wanna seem fucking… annoying or anything.”

“Oh my god why are we like this.”

“I don’t fucking know!!” You both burst out laughing, and you momentarily drop your phone to rub the tears out of your eyes.

“Okay, it’s settled then.” You hear his voice and pick your phone up off your stomach to face it towards your face again, now sitting up.

“What is?”

“After quarantine and everything is over I’m definitely taking you out for food and skateboarding.”

You grin. “Okay. Sounds amazing.”

“Great.” There’s quiet again, but it’s not awkward anymore, both of your gleeful grins speak volumes over it.

“Okay.”

You giggle. “Okay, I should go. Should probably actually try and get this thing done.”

“Right. I’ll… call you tomorrow?”

You bite your tongue. “Yeah.”

“Okay, bye.”

“Bye.”

You cut the call, and let your arms fall down to your sides as you fall back on your bed and grin up at the ceiling. You squeeze your eyes shut, just breathing in and out to calm yourself down from the little rush. Though the buzz of your phone once again catches your attention.

You get up and look at it, seeing it’s a text from Grayson.

Grayson D.: Just realized you probably don’t have a skateboard…

You bit your lip, and flopped down onto your belly now, your legs up in the air as you text him back.

Y/N: You’d be right 😅

Your eyes eagerly watch the three dots bouncing on the screen.

Grayson D.: Would you wanna borrow one of mine?

Y/N: I’m totally good with getting my own, but idk where

Grayson D.: Well there’s this shop near my house…

Assignment long forgotten, you and Grayson end up talking well into the night.

#grayson dolan #grayson dolan fanfic #grayson dolan blurb #grayson dolan concept #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan x reader #dolan twins blurb #dolan twins fanfic #dolan twins concept #dolan twins imagine #ethan dolan #grayson dolan fanfiction #dolan twins

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himbeaux-on-ice · 4 years

Note

Who are your top five NHL teams and why?

Ooooo this is fun! Thanks anon!

Short list:

Habs ❤️🤍💙

Pens 🐧

Canucks 🌈🌊

Caps 🦅

Leafs 🟦🍁🟦 (no really! I know I don’t talk about them much but its true!)

Over-wordy explanations/backstory for my relationship to each of these teams below the cut for those interested!

Montreal Canadiens. My dearly beloved Nana, who half-raised me, is a lifelong diehard Habs fan who grew up listening to their games on the radio and then later as an adult watching them duel with the Leafs on Saturday nights on a black-and-white tv (also a BIG Carey Price stan). Needless to say she rubbed off on me immensely, and I remember saying to myself at some point “well, if that’s Nana’s team, that’s gonna be my team too” and it stuck for life. I also had a friend in middle school who was a RELIGIOUS Habs fan who also worshipped at the altar of Jesus Price in those early 2010’s, so I heard a LOT about all of that every lunch break as he argued with friends who were Pens and Bruins fans lol. We went on the Bell Centre tour during the annual 9th grade French class trip to Quebec, and while I was mostly focused on getting to the gift shop to buy Nana a souvenir, I swear my friend’s eyes were the size of quarters the whole time lmao. (Would LOVE to go back now that I care a lot). Basically the Habs are the closest thing to a local NHL team our region has bc we get their broadcasts (though people choose their own team allegiances for various random personal reasons), and I grew up absorbing through osmosis both the legends of yore and the latest updates on whatever Carey and PK and the lads were up to. (Also I’ve been quietly in love with Price myself since at least the 2014 Olympics lol. My first best fav ❤️) Bottom line the Habs are My Team, the “I’m gonna be here even when it sucks, even when players move on, this is attached to me in a way I can’t quite explain” team that every hockey fan has in their heart. GO HABS GO!

Pittsburgh Penguins. If you were an elementary school kid in Nova Scotia when Sidney Crosby was first released and up through the 2010’s, you had two options: love him, or hate him, but you better accept you’re gonna be hearing about him a LOT. I settled on “vague fondness” and followed Sid from a newspaper-scanning distance and vaguely rooted for him because when he brought the Cup home it felt like we all won. And like I said, lots of passionate Pens fans in my grade school classes to hear from (he’s also the only non-Habs player my Nana likes lol). Then I got into hockey properly last year and learned about Geno beyond just knowing his name, and my chronic affection for large loveable Russians got combined with my longstanding vague “I hope the Penguins win” feelings and my “time to get the full story on the Sidney Crosby’s Penguins narrative I only ever watched from a distance” research, in a manner not unlike the creation of the PowerPuff Girls ([chemical X] etc etc lol) to create a potent adoration for this team that rocketed them to second place in my heart. Also the fandom is just so damn fun and makes such great content, and that definitely feeds my level of engagement with the Pens!! Sometimes, when I want an emotional pick-me-up I watch one of their last 3 championship films just to remember what joy and optimism is — I would love to be present as a real-time fan for another adventure like that. With how much I know about them and how much I care, they’re my #2 for sure. I love those flightless fucks!!

Vancouver Canucks. So I started watching live NHL hockey games last summer around I think game 2 of the Habs’ first round series against the Flyers (I saw Price’s “Miracle Save” on twitter while following along bc I was intrigued by the fact that they made it through the play-ins, and was like “OKAY NOW I GOTTA SEE THIS SHIT LIVE”). That was really fun! Riiiight up until the Habs got eliminated. :/ And I was like “well, shit. I’m enjoying this hockey thing too much to stop now. who else is still around I can root for?” And the Canucks were the last Canadian team still in it, and there was buzz about their miraculous first-round win but also uncertainty I believe Markstrom had *just* got injured. So I started watching, ended up witnessing the Bubble Demko Miracle unfold live, had my heart charmed off me by “whatever the hell those two lil blonde bitches have going on” and a delightful underdog story, and here I am. Hitched to the Canuck wagon whether I enjoy it or not. Here for whatever happens! (Doesn’t hurt that I love me some Elton John too 😉)

Washington Capitals. I’m a person who is more likely to be really engaged with a team that has super interesting personalities, characters, and narratives around it — and my GOD are the Capitals good for that. I absolutely definitely started down this road with that mic’d up video from the 2018 final of Ovi telling Nicke “after me, I give it to you baby!” re: the Cup. Like I can pinpoint that there was a day I saw that for the first time in a gifset, squinted at the screen, said “you’re fucking with me...”, went to youtube, watched it be for reals, and was like “well. now I need to know more about ALL this.” After watching games and learning more about the team, I really enjoy the Caps’ “big dumb found family of stone-cold total weirdos” energy, their fun collective chemistry, their Cup story, etc. And oh BOY the fandom is fun during game lb’s! I love all the in-jokes and player nicknames, our delight with the quirks of our colourful wonderful broadcast crew (shoutout Wine Uncles & Co), the way we cheer for record-breaking milestones like they’re a first NHL goal! Being a fan of the Caps AND the Pens can be a bit awkward sometimes, and the team certainly has its blemishes, but my heart is big enough for two Metro teams for sure, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Toronto Maple Leafs. So like, as you can imagine from my previously described upbringing in Hab Land, “haha Leafs suck” is a punchline I have long been familiar with and trained to recite. I got a solid 3 days of laughter and entertainment out of the whole Zamboni Driver Saga last February, oh boy did I ever. But the thing is.... I have the Leafs to thank for the fact that I watch hockey now. See, the entire reason I started paying proper attention to the playoff bubble last summer was because one day, I happened to see the phrase “WHAT IS HAPPENING” trending at 16k tweets on twitter, and clicked on it like “huh?”. Turns out the Leafs were in the middle of their miraculous 3-minute comeback against Columbus and the country was losing its mind. And when they won, I was like “huh... the Zamboni Team is doing THIS??? I may have to start paying attention to this playoffs thing, because if they go All The Way I think that might be the only thing funnier than the Zamboni Incident”. Aaaaand when they immediately lost the next game and were eliminated I was like “lol, sounds about right” and was then immediately distracted by news of the Habs winning the play-in round. So then I spent several months watching playoffs and forgetting about the Leafs. And then one day in early October, looking on YouTube for more hockey to watch after the playoffs ended, I stumbled across something called a Hat Pick, and boy I actually enjoyed this shouty man’s sense of humour and takes on the game... and then when I ran out of Hat Picks and Dangits I watched some Trade Trees, which pulled back the curtain on the business side of the game... and then I discovered LFR’s, which were good background noise for doing tasks... and then I was recommended the episode of the Steve Dangle Podcast about Mitch Marner and The List... and next thing I knew I was listening to more of this podcast, because I found Steve and the guys to be insightful and funny and there was no hockey to watch, and I was trepidatious about accidentally stumbling into the more toxic corners of hockey fandom if I branched out for other content... and, well. If you spend enough hours listening to people passionately analyze every facet of a team, shout and cheer over a team, make fun of that team, nearly cry over that team... it’s really REALLY hard to not start to care about it. Leafs analysis was basically how I learned most of what I’ve learned about hockey this past year! And kudos to Steve and Adam and Jesse, their passionate investment in the Leafs and great content has got ME invested in the Leafs mainly because I want to see things go well for them. I want Charlie Brown to kick the football! I love a triumph over adversity story! Also, I think if the Leafs did Do The Thing it would basically be the combination of “Cubs win the World Series” and “Raptors are the champs” and I wanna watch the city of Toronto go fully apeshit from a safe distance. I don’t adore many their individual players as much as I do some other teams higher on this list, and I still laugh far too much when things go super comically impossibly badly for them, but I am actually pulling for the Leafs!! I want to see it all pay off for them. I want them to go all the way. Gimme that “LEAFS WIN!!!” (Unless it’s against someone above them on this list lol)

#if u get the joke in the Canucks emojis bless u #long post #asks #anon #actually I would root Leafs in a TOR vs WSH playoff series but it would break my heart to do so lol #Washington has a Cup already ya know?

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wandschrankheld · 7 years

Text

Lousy Weather, Clear Skies

Characters: APH Russia, APH America, APH Canada; Minor: APH Australia, APH Seychelles Relationships: Rus/US Wordcount: 3.2k Summary: During the preparations for a family get-together in a remote Alaskan cottage, Alfred and Ivan get surprised by a blizzard and lose contact with the outside world for a week.

My gift for @bella-voce1812 for the @rusame-secret-santa-2017! It’s fairly obvious which of your prompts I chose, but I hope I managed to create something you’ll like! I’m pretty satisfied with it myself - so here’s my gift to you, six pages of established relationship fluff.

There was a last „- and don’t eat all the ham-!“ before the line fizzled out and Alfred was left with silence.

„Dead“, he sighed and dropped his phone on the couch with a soft thud. „Telephone poles must’ve given out under the snow. Not that the reception here is anything to write home about in the first place...“, he muttered under his breath, frowning. „Mattie says they ain’t comin‘ through, not tonight, anyway. Set up camp in, uh, Eagle Village – y’know, the tiny lil‘ town we drove through on the way here?“

Ivan gave a low hum from the other side of the couch and flipped the page of his magazine.

„Everyone else wasn’t gonna be here before the day after tomorrow anyway, so“, another sigh, deeper this time, as he sank back into the leather cushions and the supposedly real fur throws, „looks like we’re stuck here. Alone.“

Ivan hummed again, neverminding Al’s dejected tone.

„Dude. Seroiusly?“

Ivan looked up, eyebrows raised in question.

„How can you be so calm?“

He chuckled, and placed his lecture on his lap. „It’s just snow, Alfred.“

Alfred did not appreciate that comment. His fingers found the hem of the throw he was leaning against and started combing through its strands, twiddling them between his index finger and thumb. „It’s a fuckton of snow, is what it is.“ He turned his head to the side and backwards to look out of one of the large, square windows lining the sides of his cottage, and groaned. „And it ain’t stopping! Are you seeing this shit? These flakes are as big as my head!“

Ivan, amused, tilted his head to the side to watch the snowflakes dance in a wild flurry. It was getting hard to see the landscape as their dance grew more and more rapid with each passing second. „Ah, but your head is very tiny, you see.“

“Haha”, Alfred pulled on the fur and played with the threads that would come loose before letting them go over the edge of the couch and watching them fall to the floor slowly. “Very funny, big guy. I’m serious. There could be a blizzard comin’, and you’re sitting around reading Teen Vogue!”

“I’m not reading Teen Vogue-“, Ivan protested, a smile still lingering on the corners of his mouth, and was cut off promptly by Alfred jumping off the couch. He started marching towards the opposite end of the room, where the kitchen was, then changed his mind and turned on his heels to dart off to the right. He went straight for his jacket, and before Ivan had the opportunity to ask him what he was doing, Alfred had thrown him his coat and scarf.

“C’mon, buddy. We gotta blizzard-proof the house while we still can.”

Ivan reluctantly arose from his comfortable spot on the sofa, and together they layered up before venturing outside. It took them the better part of two hours to carry firewood, gas canisters, LED lamps and the emergency generator upstairs, most of the time which was spend looking for things Alfred was sure he’d stocked the house with only for him to remember he had given them all away years ago, or to find them broken and untended to. After they were forced to leave the gutters rudimentarily cleaned due to the heavy snow obscuring their sight and the harsh winds biting at their skin, they double checked the locks of each window and door, and finally the insulation on the pipes.

By the end of it even Ivan was ready to admit that, just maybe, the ongoing snowfall would pose more than just an inconvenience.

They cooked up a feast to reward themselves for their hard work – “As long as the electricity’s still workin’, right?” – and ate it listening to the old radio that looked like a brick and had its weight too Alfred still had from the cold war era. They bickered over whether to listen to festive, kitschy Christmas music or ancient, soothing classical tunes, and had a heated game of rock-paper-scissors decide who could choose the channel for each course.

After their plates were clean and the radio started playing white noise rather than music, they strolled back to the living room sofa. They curled up on the sofa, Ivan with a book as thick as his hand was broad, Alfred with this quarter’s copy of the “Reviews of modern Physics”, and soon were entangled in a snug embrace. Ivan was lying on his back, his feet reaching over the armrest on the opposite end, his arms slung tight around his boyfriend – who, in turn, had his legs entwined with Ivan’s and his head resting on his chest, and was turned to the side. His hair was ticking Ivan’s nose, and Ivan’s elbow jabbed into Alfred’s sides every now and then, but it was warm and cozy, so neither minded all too much.

With Ivan’s hand softly petting his hair, and his cute cheeks and soft lips just within kissing distance, Alfred nearly forgot about the storm raging outside. He stopped fumbling with the edge of every new page, stopped pulling and folding until thin tears rendered the top of the page almost unreadable; he stopped fidgeting, and started to relax. Maybe this whole storm thing wasn’t even so bad. Maybe, having some alone time – even if it was forced on them – would do them some good.

Alfred pressed a soft kiss to Ivan’s lips, delighting at the surprised noise he produced.

Yeah, maybe this wasn’t gonna go bad at all.

That was day one.

On day two, the snow did not stop falling. It laid on the earth as a blanket so thick they couldn’t pry the front door open, and Alfred emptied a pot of coffee in less than two hours. Ivan, concerned, held his hand and cracked a joke about being used to it snowing harder than this in July. Alfred, feeling the caffeine, insisted on opening a window so he could run outside to grab more firewood. Ivan had to block the window with his body, and no amount of whining, pleading and prophesizing of their cold, frozen deaths would move him. He finally persuaded Alfred to channel his energies into something less likely to give him frostbite, and they danced to the trickle of music the radio played, danced whatever they could still remember the steps to – Charleston, Lindy Hopp, Polka, Sudarushka.

They ended in a waltz, Alfred’s hand on Ivan’s hip, Ivan’s hand on Alfred’s shoulder, and their joined hands clasped tightly, swaying to the beat. The radio had fizzled out, producing nothing more than static, so they hummed their own melody – one two three, one to three - and Ivan would chide Alfred ever so gently for growing too impatient and messing up the rhythm.

They danced until Alfred crashed from the caffeine, and Ivan let him sleep in his lap while he bravely ventured on through his book.

On day three, Alfred drew a mistletoe on a sheet of paper, and held it over every doorway Ivan attempted to pass through. It was cute at first, but got annoying fast, so Ivan retaliated by simply lifting Alfred up, turning around 180 degrees, and putting him down where he stood before walking through the door. Alfred found it hilarious, and demanded he kiss him anyway. Ivan obliged every time.

In the afternoon the snow stopped, and they cleaned as much of it off the roof as they could and scraped snow and ice from the gutter and the windows. Back inside, Ivan produced an old deck of cards from his luggage, and they spent the rest of the day playing Durak and Canasta, with brief instances in-between games of Alfred trying to teach Ivan Minnesota Whist, and Ivan doing the same with Bura. They kept going back to the familiar games, and ended up playing poker for pennies and kopecks until deep in the night. When the electricity finally gave out, they lit some candles and turned on the LED lamps they had brought up from the basement, and played until Ivan fell asleep with his cards still in his hands.

On day four, Alfred was bored. He had exhausted the batteries of both his phone and tablet listening to audiobooks and podcasts he had downloaded for the trip, and Alfred himself had insisted just hours before that they only use the emergency generator for essentials when Ivan had wanted to plug in his kindle. Books were boring, dancing was boring, cards were boring and Ivan – Ivan was boring too, for wanting to stay in bed and cuddle.

Alfred cleaned out the storage closet and wiped down every surface in the house. He dusted his shelves, and rearranged every book and DVD by color, and every item by the degree to which it made him smile. He re-arranged the furniture in living room and guest room each four separate times and still wasn’t happy with it, but before he could do it a fifth time, Ivan emerged from the bedroom and announced his body was demanding sustenance. They threw canned goods in a pot until it smelled good, and Alfred threw in diced ham – “To refine the taste” – and corn – “Just cause I like it”. Ivan burnt his tongue scarfing down the stew, and Alfred gladly kissed it better.

In the afternoon, Alfred remembered that he had an attic, and set out to explore. He brought down an old, dusty carton that reeked faintly of mold filled with VHS tapes spanning the genre gap from “7 years in Tibet” to “The Rescuers Down Under”. “This is a necessity”, he declared, and Ivan agreed as long as he could pick the movie. They lounged on and in front of the couch watching “Meet Joe Black”, and dozed off to “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”.

On day five, it was Ivan’s turn to mope. The snow had started up again, and was falling in a thick sheet. Ivan did not care for it. He didn’t want to get up at all, and hid under his blanket until Alfred made him poke his head out and listen to him tell a funny story about what happened last time Arthur tried to order knitting wool online. He clung to Alfred’s sides and whined until he pet his hair, and soaked up his warmth like a leech. They stayed in bed until well in the afternoon, living off protein bars and candy from their pockets, and the care package Yekaterina had made Ivan bring, just in case. It’s fun, and it’s soothing and it’s reassuring, having each other completely for themselves after all the time they had spent apart.

They migrate to the TV some time in the afternoon for another VHS session, and heat up the leftovers from yesterday. They build a house of cards on the floor, a romcom chattering away in the background, and talked about what they should have brought with.

“I wish I had my chess set here… you still know how to play, yes?”

“Duh. It wouldn’t have ended well for you – be careful – I wish I’d brought another book…”

“I have a book you could –“

“An interesting book, Ivy. Oh, and my toothbrush.”

“ – What?!”

“Just kidding. Or am I?” Ivan punched him in the arm, and knocked over their house of cards. “Aw.”

On day six, things did not start out well. The snow stopped falling, but ice made it hard to see out of the windows, and the wind was going strong, still. Ivan wanted to stay in bed, and Alfred was itching to play full contact football or do literally anything else that would get his blood pumping and his muscles aching – and Ivan was extremely not in the mood. So, Alfred put on sturdy gloves, goggles and two jackets, and started shoveling snow off the winding path to the cottage possessed by an impatient spirit. Ivan slept an uneasy sleep, tossing and turning in the polka dotted bedsheets.

When he crept down the stairs, there were bags under his eyes, and he looked as if he hadn’t slept all week. Alfred was exhausted as well, but jittery and hungry and with an insatiable need to tell Ivan all about the snow he had just spent many futile hours shoveling here and there.

It started with off-hand comments, throwaway lines that on any other day would be less than irritating, and soon they turned to specifically targeted jabs, exploiting their long relationship to the fullest to hit where it truly hurt. Neither of them started screaming – Alfred had a loud voice by nature, and found it enough to drive home his points; Ivan grew more and more quiet, his eyes like needles and his mouth a blade. They broke apart when one of Ivan’s comments had Alfred stagger back, dumbfounded, and he grabbed his wooly hat and goggles to storm outside once more.

He slept on the couch that night, arms crossed and thoughts racing.

On the seventh day, the skies finally cleared. The snow stopped falling, the wind ceased blowing, and the radio spat out more than static again. They listened to the weather forecast in silence, and they plugged in their phones so that the others could reach them. Alfred was the first to apologize, not looking at Ivan once during the speech he’d rehearsed in his mind all morning. Ivan took his hand, pulled him closer and kissed his forehead. “ I am sorry, too.”

They held each other for a while, needing but not wanting to talk about what had happened the day before. It wasn’t the right time for it. Finally, they broke apart, and Ivan suggested they go outside and build a snowman. It turned into a competition, each of them piling more and more snow onto their creations until neither of them was recognizable as a snowman anymore. Alfred insisted his was a sasquatch, while Ivan thought it was quite obvious that he had build a snow Snegurochka – the other insisted all he could see was a blob, and so they started over, and over, and over again.

It was dark by the time the cold drove them back inside. They set up a kettle of tea and pooled the last of their candy and sweets, and settled down on the couch once more.

“You’re cold”, Ivan said and pressed a soft kiss to Alfred’s icy nose. It tickled, and Alfred hat do laugh.

“So are you”, he said and returned the gesture. Ivan denied it firmly, but his nose was just as red as Alfred’s. Alfred snuck a hand up Ivan’s sweater and placed his icy fingers on his warm skin, and laughed at his boyfriend trying to hide the shiver going up his spine.

“Y’know, Ivy?”

“Hm?”

“You’re real cute.”

Alfred flashed him a wide smile, and watched in delight as Ivan’s cheeks grew a faint pink.

“Am not.”

“Mhm. Yeah.”

“Stupid”, Ivan pulled him close to his chest, not giving him enough time to protest being smothered. “You know flattery will get you nowhere, yes?”

“It got me in your arms, though, babe – “

Ivan squeezed him tightly until Alfred giggled out a “No, Stop-!”, and tried squirming out of his embrace, a big smile on his face. He only let go of him for a few seconds to let him catch his breath before going on the offense again and tackling him, so he was lying with his back on the couch.

“You are cute!”, he said, and placed a flurry of butterfly kisses to Alfred’s neck, who was still trying to wiggle free, laughing, his hands grabbing at Ivan’s shoulders.

“You’re being unfair – let go –“, he giggled as Ivan nibbled at his skin, and softly pulled at his hair to guide his head up. Ivan kissed the underside of his jaw before obliging, and looked down on him with eyes so warm they could melt glaciers. Alfred was breathless.

“I love you. More than you could ever hope to know.”

Their next kiss was soft and gentle, at first, Alfred’s hands in Ivan’s hair and Ivan’s weight resting comfortably on his legs, his stomach, and his arms were wrapped around him. It grew deeper soon, lips parting to make way for breath, and tongues and teeth and finally they were holding onto each other for dear life, their hearts beating against their chests in unison and icy cold hands sliding up scratchy, soft sweaters on both sides.

“Ivy-“, Alfred gasped, trailing his thumb down his cheeks.

The door flew open.

“Are you two alright - ?!”

Ivan and Alfred scrambled apart. Ivan knocked an empty cup off the table, and Alfred lost his balance and toppled over the arm rest and onto the floor. There was a loud thud, footsteps and snickering, and Alfred heard Matthew sigh.

“Seriously?” he shook the snow off his boots before stepping forward, and set a large bag of groceries down on the floor. Behind him, Nicholas and Victoire were both wearing the same shit-eating grin, as well as lovingly hand crafted beanies. “We thought you died.”

“For real, we even had a bet going –“

“The two of you did, don’t drag me into that.”

“Oh yeah? You owe me a five, Mr. “Died of starvation” Williams.” Victoire mocked, and cleared the snow off her thick hoodie. Nicholas gasped and slipped out of what looked suspiciously like a pair of moon boots.

“They even got snickers, see?”, he pointed at the sweets piled on the table, “I told you my ice bear theory was more realistic. “

Matthew grumbled and sighed, and headed straight to the kitchen. “Whatever”. He ruffled Alfred’s hair as he walked past him, and Alfred thought he saw something like relief wash over his brother’s face. That nerd. As if anything here could kill him – well, apart from Ivan, maybe.

Ivan shot him a puzzled, but amused look, and extended a hand to help Alfred off the floor. He’s up on his legs soon enough, and pressed a last kiss to Ivan’s cheek before walking past him, following Matthew into the kitchen. Ivan, cheeks still red, righted the collar of his turtle neck and nodded “Yes” when Nicholas asked him if he reckoned it was OK with Alfred if he took one of his candy bars.

“Al, where’s the ham?”, they could hear Matthew say from the kitchen, and Victoire and Nicholas started snickering again.

“We ate it.”

“….You ate it.”

“Yup.”

“All of it?!”

“We were gonna die, Mattie! I was gonna die of starvation if I hadn’t eaten that ham – your own brother! – Ack, no, that’s unfair-!” The telling noise of skin smacking against skin, and Alfred came rushing out of the kitchen with a big laugh on his face, holding his recently viciously poked at sides.

“My ham-!”, Matthew came out after him, hands at the ready.

Ivan watched, laughing to himself until Alfred decided to use his body as a meat shield and hid behind him. They chased each other around the living room until Matthew tripped and Alfred caught him, nearly losing balance himself. Matthew gave him a good hard knock on his head with his own, and pulled him in a huffy hug.

“Naw Mattie, y’know you shouldn’t have left me alone with that ham. Sorry”, Alfred laughed and patted his shoulders. Ivan watched his boyfriend closely, a smile settling on his face.

“I know”. He points to one of the plastic bags bursting at the seams. “That’s why I brought two more.”

#hetalia #rusame #aph russia #aph america #rusame secret santa 2017 #food ment #i love..... establishd relationship fluff #this was a great opportunity to explore some 'downtime' headcanons #i hope the format i chose helped the exploration of their relationship like i intended to #id love to hear yalls thoughts #my writing

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head-and-heart · 7 years

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My Calgary Expo Experience

Okay guys so I’m still kind of dying. Today (probably yesterday by the time this goes up) was kind of amazing and I can’t believe that I met Bob Morley BUT I’M GOING TO ATTEMPT TO SHARE THE AWESOMENESS WITH YOU ALL.

Apparently recap posts about cons are a thing and I still can’t believe that I actually have reason to write one!!

I only decided to go on the Sunday because I could fit in the photo op, autograph signing, and panel all in one day so I felt that it was a good option, so I don’t know much about anything that happened on any of the other days.

It was sooo incredible. Bob is just ... wow.

He just has the most adorable personality. And we all probably know this because you don’t need to meet him to be able to tell but he really does. As my friend who was with me likes to say, he’s all “soft and squish” hahahaha.

I was so so so nervous when we first walked into the autograph line (which was not very long at all because we came on the last day, and we also came early) and we were, like, two feet away from him because the line looped around. It was so weird. I still can’t believe that I was that close to him, let alone actually TALKED to him, and TOUCHED him.

Also I’m about 99% sure that I saw Robyn from the Afictionados podcast in the line ahead of me because she has a very distinctive voice and I heard her mention Unity Days but I was too shy to talk to her and I wasn’t 100% it was her until later but anyway SHOUTOUT TO ROBYN IF YOU’RE READING THIS WHICH YOU PROBABLY AREN’T BUT IN THE UNLIKELY EVENT YOU ARE JUST KNOW THAT I REALLY LIKE YOUR PODCAST AND I'M REALLY AWKWARD SO I DIDN’T TELL YOU IN PERSON

anyway ..

Bob is just amazing because he was out in front of his table instead of behind it like basically all the other guests. It was really neat, he’s very interactive with the fans and likes to be very personal with everyone. He shook everyone’s hand that came to get an autograph and introduced himself (AS IF I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE) and asked how we were doing and he was just so polite and cute and ugghh. I’ve never been to a con before but my friend was telling me how usually the autograph signing is very quick and they get you in and out of there very fast but Bob was so sweet and generous and took his time with everyone, actually attempting to have a real conversation with the fans.

The people before us were taking a video of him which is prohibited apparently and the security guy there was getting mad at them but Bob was like “oh, I don’t mind ...” and he looked kind of uncomfortable (about the security guy, not the fans).

He shaved his beard the night before and my friend was hEARTBROKEN because she LOVED it, haha. I think he looks nice either way, but I kind of prefer him cleanshaven so I was happy. HE PLAYS WITH HIS HAIR SO MUCH. And I swear that boy has an entire closet dedicated just to his various hats, its like every time I saw him he was wearing a different one.

My friend was a little starstruck so I ended up doing a lot of the conversation, but honestly I barely processed most of what he was saying. I mentioned that Zach talked about filming a movie with him at a recent con and asked him if he could share a little bit about it. He laughed and said that he was surprised Zach had said anything because they were supposed to be secretive about it so he didn’t really say anything more than what I already knew. He talked about how he was going to be filming in Malaysia pretty soon (which I already knew cause i’m extra lol) and how he hadn’t spent a whole lot of time prepping for the role so he needed to do some of that beforehand. It was fine that he couldn’t say much about it though because I was mostly just trying to keep the conversation going so I didn’t spontaneously combust and/or faint in his arms ... you know, the usual.

My friend was dressed up as Season 2 Octavia (with the warpaint) and I had a really crappy cosplay of Season 1 Clarke going on hahahaha. Basically I couldn’t find a jacket (and i have no idea how to make one) so I just had like the shirt and the watch and the hair and stuff so it wasn’t anything special. Most people probably thought I wasn’t dressed up at all. When I walked up to Bob he went “WOW that’s a big watch” cause my wrists are really tiny I guess haha. I don’t really know if he knew if I was Clarke or not.

He started both of our autographs with “Dearest [name]” instead of just “Dear” or writing only our names, which I thought was adorable. It’s such a Bob thing to do - or at least something I would expect from him. He also put two x’s at the end.

I didn’t end up getting anything special signed because I couldn’t think of anything super creative, so I just chose one of their prints instead. They were nice though.

When he saw my friend’s print that she’d chosen he went “wow I was so tan” and I kind of laughed because he’s still really tan and his skin is so nice haha, but meanwhile I’m white as hell and can’t tan for the life of me

Then we both took photos with him. I always see people talking about Bob smelling really nice and I was like “okay” because I don’t tend to talk about how people smell BUT HE ACTUALLY DOES OKAY. lol I know that seems weird, I don’t know how to describe the smell but its a thing, guys, all right?

Afterwards we looked around a bit at the convention and waited to head to Bob’s panel at 12:00. I ran into a few friends who I haven’t seen in awhile which was kind of nice. It was super packed. There were a lot more people who showed up to see Bob than I was expecting, but it was nice to see so many people coming together. :) The panel was 45 minutes but it went by soooooooo fast. The moderator kept asking Bob to expand on his questions basically, which ended up eating up a lot of time so I didn’t get to ask the question about Jasper and Bellamy that I wanted to, which was kind of disappointing.

I was being so extra though, waving my hand in the hair and everything, trying to get her attention. I made eye contact with Bob because he saw me but then the woman picked someone else and it was really sad lol. I raised my hand EVERY SINGLE TIME. But I was ignored.

*sigh*

NEXT TIME.

They were really strict about there being no videos so I couldn’t really get any, which is unfortunate, and I wasn’t close enough to get very good quality photos so I won’t post any of them here. If you have any questions about some things people are spreading about the panel or want confirmation about some stuff Bob said, just hit me up and I’ll hopefully clear some things for you because I know that the truth often gets skewed a little at conventions. Its like the fandom is playing a little game of telephone, except online.

Bob is soooo cute and endearing and funny, so I really enjoyed the panel. I know a lot of people have been posting about stuff that Bob but I’ll point out the stuff I remember anyway

Someone asked Bob was his favourite episode/scene was and Bob said that his favourite episode is yet to air, and that it really delves into Bellamy’s “psyche”, which he liked, so I’m super excited to see that. I do wonder if he’s referring to 4x10, actually, since the promo seems pretty Bellamy heavy and it’s written by Aaron who tends to write Bellamy pretty well, I think. We’ll see!

There’s a video of the Bellarke question going around which, to be perfectly honest, isn’t much different from anything else that he’s said. He apparently ~ doesn’t know ~ if they’ll go the romantic path but he believes that they have a very “special relationship” that is deeper than any romance. It’s not in the video that I’ve seen going around but he also said that Bellamy and Clarke have a certain understanding and honesty which he believes is definitely a good place to start to build a relationship on, if they were planning on going that route.

He said something that I really haven’t seen talked about at all, but both I and my friend thought was a little odd when we heard it. I think the question was asking what scenes with Bellamy were most difficult or something like that but he said "the romantic side I find very hard to play”, which I thought was kind of interesting because Bellamy hasn’t really had any romantic partners besides Gina very very briefly. Idk if that’s who he was referring to? *side eyes emoji* Take it with a grain of salt in any case.

Bob joked about how Bellamy gets beat up so often because he’s “been told that [Bob] sells hits really well” lol. He also said that he maybe takes punches a little too well because when Octavia was beating him up in 3x10 he got too into it and accidentally fell through the wall of the set and broke it.

The moderator pointed out that it’s remarkable how well some characters have recovered from being impaled and he made a cheeky little comment about how “it’s science guys!” because we all know just how accurate the science on this show is hahaha

Someone asked Bob how he and Bellamy are similar and he responded by saying that he was loyal to his family and that the similarities “start and finish there”. He talked about how Bellamy is so much more aggressive than he is and how he wouldn’t go around killing people. The moderator then asked him if he thought he would ever be capable of doing something like that and Bob went “NOOOOOOOO! I don’t have that in me, its ACTING!”. He sounded so offended, it was really funny, especially since Bob is so cute and pure so it just sounded bizarre when she asked that.

Apparently during the scene where Pike sentences Kane to death Mike Beach and Henry Ian Cusick had a solid 15 minute argument about whose side Bellamy should be on and Bob just decided to leave the room after awhile. Bob was just like “okay I’m just going to walk out and you two can decide which one of you is my dad”.

Bob enjoys doing fight scenes “because its always kind of exciting to feel like you’re tough, even though you’re not” (he laughed after he said that) and he also enjoyed doing the Bellamy speeches because he thought that they felt cool and kind of empowering to feel like you have the power to actually influence someone else, since there aren’t many opportunities for that in real life.

Since he likes fight scenes, he joked about how he always would ask “can’t I at least try and put up a fight” and he also said that Bellamy tends to take more beatings than he gives now because Bellamy feels like he deserves to be beaten up for what he’s done.

In the scene where he found out that Octavia “died” apparently Bob went full out and was banging his head against the bars and actually got a cut all along his forehead because he was so into it.

He was asked if it ever hurt his vocal cords to talk so low in Bellamy’s voice and he joked that it’s painful when he has to scream all the time at such a low octave. He also talked about why Bellamy’s voice was so low, because he was really hungover when they shot the Pilot and when he saw the video he went back and was really surprised and he just kind of had to roll with it from there on out. I’ve heard that story before but it was cool to hear Bob talk about it in person.

I know we all love to talk about the drastic difference in pitch between Bellamy and Bob’s voice but I’m telling you that its something else to hear it in person instead of just in a video. The change is SO dramatic.

One time when Bellamy had to do a big speech in Season 1, Bob had a really bad cold and he couldn’t speak properly so he was kind of screeching and messing up and he said it was really “embarassing” and so frustrating that he actually started to cry. The whole crowd went “aWWWWWwwwWWWWW” when he said that and he was like “yeah, yeah, I know, I know” all bashful and it was really cute.

He talked about how he would rather be judged for his “content” versus his physique and he said “maybe its not even me to feel that way” which made me sad, and then he said that he now recognizes that being judged for his appearance comes with the job sometimes.

Bob says that he likes polarizing the audience but that some people on social media can’t seem to separate him from Bellamy and he joked about all these people who meet him and are just like “I hate your character but, you know, you’re okay” and I was honestly like WHO DO I HAVE TO FIGHT COME AT ME

If he could bring back anyone he said he would bring back Pike and someone yelled “WHYYYY????” and Bob talked about how he caused lots of chaos and whatnot which was interesting, to which the mod was like “they already have enough chaos” and then Bob responded with “what’s wrong with a little chaos?” and I died. nOT like that’s one of the most iconic lines of Season 1 or anything ..

He also said he thought bringing Finn back would be interesting because “his moral compass is very different from Clarke and Bellamy’s”

When he was a kid he wanted to be a stuntman and he would bite into ceramic plates because he thought that’s what they did, lol. Bob just went, “SO stupid” after he described it haha

I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT. He joked a ton about his hair and how the apocalypse is great for the characters’ hair. He talked about how the hair team is great and how Bellamy has “great hair game” in Season 4, but that all seems to change after Bob finishes filming and he doesn’t really do anything with it. He's very self-deprecating

Bob says that when he struggles in getting into Bellamy’s headspace a lot of the time he just starts thinking about lunch because that’s what Mike Beach told him to do, hahahahaha. He also talked about how there’s “a lot of stupid stuff” going around in Bellamy’s head a lot of the time.

He said that he likes to do rock climbing, but a lot of the time he just ends up playing video games instead.

He finds Octavia and Bellamy’s storyline together this season “heartbreaking”.

He says his scenes with Eliza are “always really great” because they’re very “emotional” and he gets to cry lol

Apparently Bob is like one of two people who actually knows how to drive the rover because its stick shift and its “impossible”.

One girl that was picked said “sorry” and Bob was like “what are you apologizing for?” and the moderator was like “it’s the Canadian way” or something along those lines but the girl was just like “cause I’m so awkward” and the whole time i was thinking girl SAME i feel you

Bob says playing Bellamy has changed his real voice. He thinks his voice has “dropped down because of it” even when he’s not playing Bellamy.

Bob said that one of his friends tried to get him to compete in a smashbrothers competition and he went but he said it was really intense so he was like “no, no, no, I’m going to stay home and be the king of my own house”

Bob doesn’t like sitting behind the table when signing autographs because he “feels weird” about it and enjoys interacting with fans because he feels that social media is really “devoid of connection” and he’s “just a normal person” like the rest of us, which was sweet. <3

Bob says that “I’m very loving but I’m very pragmatic” when referring to Bellamy (not himself)

Bob loves Bellamy soo much and he is super protective of him (like us!). He says that when people don’t like Bellamy sometimes he’s just like “oh well let’s talk about this, maybe I can talk you around” but it doesn’t usually work haha

He said that he went to a play in Australia because William Mcinnes, who he really loves, was in it but he didn’t know what it was about and it turned out be about IVF treatment lol and he was like “yeah that was kinda weird [...] maybe I should have read the plot first ...”

After the panel we looked around at all the merchandise but there was barely anything for The 100, which wasn’t all that surprising. I honestly didn’t expect to find anything, but we stumbled completely by accident onto this jewelry stand and we saw one necklace for The 100 and started freaking out because we couldn’t find any The 100 merch ANYWHERE and the lady heard us and told us that she sold stuff at Unity Days so she’d designed an entire jewelry line for The 100 and showed us her collection.

It was so awesome. She makes all these neat little themed charm bracelets for all shows, so there was one for Lost, and OUAT and Supernatural and all that, which was nice but she had a whole COLLECTION for The 100, with themed bracelets for almost all the individual characters. I remember seeing something similar online, maybe even the same ones, and had told my friend earlier that I thought they were cool.

I DEFINITELY wasn’t expecting to actually find them.

My friend bought the Bellamy one and I bought the Raven one, because I personally thought that the Raven one was more true to the character than the other one (but they were both really cute!). I’m not one for fandom merch so it was kind of exciting for me to buy something.

Here’s a pic of my Raven bracelet:

And here’s my friends Bellamy bracelet:

Later we went to go get our photo ops with Bob, which we did individually. It was very fast-paced so we didn’t get to spend much time with him or anything but I was actually surprisingly relaxed and calm the second time I saw him? Idk he’s just so humble and down-to-earth and he really makes you feel comfortable around him, so I wasn’t nearly as nervous as I was earlier.

When he saw my friend and I he was just like “hello again” and I thought it was cute that he remembered us, after meeting hundreds of individual people!

I just took a regular photo with him, no special poses or anything, because I felt weird asking for anything different. But to be honest I wish that I asked him for a hug, because I saw a girl go before us who did and her photo ended up looking REALLY good and now I’m super jealous, dammit.

NEXT TIME.

(I feel like I’m making a lot of promises to myself in this post, hmmmmmm)

Anyways, after we got the photo he turned to me and said “thank you!” and I was just thinking WHY ARE YOU THANKING ME??? YOU JUST MADE MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE, THANK YOU!

So that was my experience seeing Bob. I’m so far from over it and just looking at the pictures makes me feel all light and happy. He’s such a great person and you can tell that he’s not just putting an act or a show for the benefit of his fans, he’s truly genuine!

Now I know what people mean when they talk about how after they meet some of the cast, they just want to do it again the next day. I’ve got the con fever, I want to go to another one so bad (but of course I’m infinitely grateful that I got to see him in person at all, because it was such an incredible experience)! Bob is so sweet and adorable and KIND (like I’ve reiterated half a million times) and deserves everything amazing in the world, I don’t know make the rules, k?

And there’s just something so ... amazing about cons. No one there is judging you, everyone there is a shameless nerd as well, haha, and its such a safe space for fans to go and meet celebrities, guests, and each other. Whenever my friend and I saw anyone wearing The 100 merch or cosplaying as someone from The 100, we always got so excited. Because there are ACTUAL REAL PHYSICAL people in front of us who are just as obsessed as we are, and you don’t get that connection through TV. Everyone is so friendly and accepting, complimenting each other’s costumes and whatnot. The community is just amazing.

Here’s hoping that I get to experience this again, and that any of you who haven’t yet get to as well! Everyone deserves to go to a con and have as much fun as I did. :)

Not sure if I’m going to post my photos with him because I’m really weird about posting photos of myself on the internet. I guess I’m just paranoid that someone I know will stumble across it, or my fandom days will come back to haunt me in twenty years or so and someone will pull up my photograph and my account with my dramatic ass screaming about Bellarke and Bellamy Blake and all that and judge me for the rest of my life. We’ll see. Maybe BFSN??

I’ll consider it. ;)

#the 100 #bob morley #bellamy blake #bellarke #calgary expo #posts by moi #the cast we definitely deserve #bob morley: if puppies could speak

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getwhelmed · 7 years

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hnhnhnhn i guess i have Thoughts(tm) about the new TAZ comic designs

disclaimer: i GET IT. like i 100% get where everyones coming from with the design choices and i read their thing about it on the tumblr, i know they are all aware that its an imperfect solution, you cant please everyone, and im not MAD at anybody

but (readmore)

i think in some ways they may be... overthinking it in terms of how theyre trying to give more representation in the main three without offending anyone. which! i can appreciate that theyre trying so hard to be Good about it but heres the thing. having characters of color that have Negative Traits is not INHERENTLY a bad thing. even if said trait happens to match with some negative stereotypes. the way that this ends up being racist is if, for example, you have ONE black character among a cast of white characters and said black character is the only one with negative traits associated with black people.

what i mean is that theres nuance here, and that the characters they made are also nuanced. so what needs t o happen (in anything, not just taz) is that the WHOLE CAST should be diverse, and that characters of color should have depth and not be two dimensional, and that they should also not be the sole representation of their race in the cast.

like for instance they were worried about merle, who they changed to being darker skinned because of his background as a “beach dwarf,” because part of his backstory is that he is a deadbeat dad. but the thing about that is, that aspect of his history isnt revealed until way further into the story by which point merle has spent several arcs Dadding the rest of the team and developing as a character in lots of other ways. when that part of his story is revealed, it MAKES SENSE in the context of his character that he is trying to make up for past mistakes, and he is shown bonding with his kids and not being totally sucky. so like, theres no chance of him being introduced simply as “brown dude who is a shitty deadbeat dad”

of course i was disappointed that magnus was the one that stayed white, and thats not because of any moral reason its just because hes my fav and i wanted him to be Brown Like Me. but with him they were concerned about having their tank stereotype character being dark skinned because they didnt want the more aggressive, less intellectual character to be offensive. which makes sense conceptually and i get the thought process but like. im pretty sure, and to be fair its been a minute since i listened to gerblins arc, but im p sure that magnus was the closest thing to a moral compass they had in the early days. he was Lawful Good right? and had an established backstory as a carpenter with a Tragic Past. i mean the running joke was that he kept trying to go into his deep and complex backstory but they just wouldnt let him! and yes Magnus Rushes In was a running joke but as far as i remember he was never portrayed as unintelligent or overly aggressive. point being that, once again, he wasnt completely two dimensional and a nonwhite character like magnus within a cast of other nonwhite characters would absolutely not raise any flags for me.

taako i absolutely get their struggles with him, because there really was no winning. i mean they could go with a Generically Brown design for him but honestly people picking up the comic somewhere and not having any context for his creation would see a brown dude named taco and theres just no way around that. im not a huge fan of non human skin toned taakos and im also not a fan of the idea that taako should be canonically latino because thats just riddled with issues. on the surface blue taako does seem like a cop out but like i said theres no winning here and i get it. i would be happier if he was a poc but at the same time itd be a poc named taco and people who are not familiar with the podcast would only see that. i mean if i picked up a comic and, knowing nothing else about it, saw a brown dude named taco stealing everything not nailed down id absolutely put the book right back down and walk away. but i do wish they had changed up his design more and made him look overall more nonhuman instead of just recoloring a white guy and leaving it at that.

anyway moral of the story is that i wish that they would think of the cast as a whole when considering how they choose to represent the characters. in a strange change of pace from most white people i feel like they were being a bit TOO careful and safe haha. a black character with an awkward relationship with his kids isnt inherently offensive if he exists within a cast that includes a variety of other black characters with different personalities and backstories and levels of deadbeat dadness. but if you have just ONE black character whos only context is a white guy and a blue guy whom is just a recolored white guy tbh, and thats the only black dude and only poc and the only one who is a deadbeat dad then well.... then you run into issues. the solution to these representation issues is not to chicken out and make NO ONE nonwhite.

tl;dr make the whole cast diverse pls. show some of the depth they get later on in the podcast that they didnt have yet in gerblins arc (bcs they had no clue the show would go on that long and the characters Werent That Deep in the start). and also i wish magnus was brown but thats just personal bias the end

(ps Make Angus McDonald Black)

#i dont have a text post tag #i aint bout to tag this taz tho bcs i dont wanna get into soem type a discourse

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moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown · 8 years

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So, for some reason, I had an idea about a daveed x reader, where the reader was white and people, like podcast hosts or radio hosts etc...don't much care for the 'barrier braking' broadway star to have wanted to date a non person of color, now, I say fuck it date who ever ya want, but I just, I don't know I'm a very pale half Mexican half Scottish, Irish, polish mutt, so let's just say when I say I'm Mexican the looks I get are from 'whhhhaaat?' To 'haha okay sure' then the jokes from my family 'so ya run jump,or swim here' any who, I had an idea I'll write it, and if you guys wanna read it, just reply or reblog this, I just the idea is here, I just wanna see....I mean this is things my friends who have dated outside there own race have faced, I just idk maybe this is my way of how I see what happens with couples of differ the races, and if you guys have any comments or things that could help my brain thoughts shoot them my way my main account is @killerwithashotgun send a message or if I have messages on this account go a head....just remember you all can date who ya want, fuck what people say, you are beautiful and I want to kiss your faces and give you all the warm back pats,

#daveed diggs #daveed x reader #daveed diggs x reader #Hamilton

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birdlord · 8 years

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What I Watched in 2016

Here are the movies and TV series I watched in 2016, some with commentary and some without. The number after the movies is the date of release, my faves are bolded, and rewatches are marked with as asterisk. Last year’s list!

01 Do I Sound Gay (14)

02 We are The Best! (13)

03 Hateful Eight (15)

04 Welcome to Me (14)

05 For Your Eyes Only (81) - I listened to a lot of back episodes of the James Bonding podcast early this year, which of course led to watching a bunch of Bond movies. Not all, and not in order, certainly.

06 She’s the One (96)

07 * Diamonds are Forever (71)

08 It’s Complicated (09) - I think it was an article about the kitchen design in this movie that led me to watch it?

09 The Natural (84)

10 * Anna Karenina (12) - Never having read the book I can’t REALLY speak to this movie but haha I kinda love its commitment to artifice.

11 About Time (13)

12 What We Do in the Shadows (14) - I did enjoy this, but wasn’t as taken by it as I thought I might be. Found the werewolves the funniest by far, so I wish they’d turned up more often.

13 The Abominable Bride (15) - counting this as a movie, it was the Sherlock xmas special and I recall exactly zero about it, so…..must have been amazing, right?

14 Wake in Fright (71) - Never Go To Australia

15 Hail Caesar (16) - I think I’d have to see it again to determine if the whole thing actually holds together, but at the time, it felt of a piece with the Coen’s cheerier output.

16 In the Heart of the Sea (15)

17 The Night of the Comet (84)

18 Laggies (14)

19 * Bowling for Columbine (02)

20 A Gentleman’s Agreement (47) - confessional, experiential journalism, but done by Cary Grant in the 40s. Ahead of his time/gender?

21 Barefoot in the Park (67)

22 Suddenly Last Summer (59)

23 Tangerine (15)

24 * His Girl Friday (40)

25 That Touch of Mink (62)

26 * Charlie’s Angels (00)

27 9-5 (80) - Holy shit, somehow I thought this movie was just a rah-rah, girl power story about a bunch of secretaries getting together and overthrowing their boss and yeah, that’s SORT OF it but it gets way way weirder in the final third.

28 * Who Framed Roger Rabbit (88)

29 * The Addams Family (91)

30 * Addams Family Values (93)

31 Frida (02)

32 Bridge of Spies (15) - A E I O U and sometimes SPIES :O

33 Swimming With Sharks (94)

34 Sleeping With the Enemy (91)

35 Fatal Attraction (87) - Watched this movie and the previous one as part of an 80s/90s thriller weekend. These two are an interesting contrast to one another, being as the first is about an abusive husband and the second focuses on the most notable example of the “crazy ex-girlfriend”.

36 1 Cloverfield Lane (16)

37 The Man Who Never Was (56)

38 * To Die For (95) - This was a super fave of Teen Emily, who definitely identified with the Lydia character. Watching this time was a huge reminder than Illeana Douglas is a goddamn national treasure.

39 Trouble In Paradise (32)

40 Eraser (96)

41 * Flashdance (83)

42 * Notting Hill (99)

43 Gone to Earth (50) - Not the best Powell and Pressburger out there, but one takes what one can get, right?

44 Holiday Camp (47)

45 Never Sleep Again (10) - This is a four-hour doc about the entire Nightmare on Elm St series, and is the reason I watched Freddy’s Revenge a couple of movies down the list. It’s not a series that I have a particular attachment to, so I learned a ton.

46 Clouds of Sils Maria (15)

47 Mommie Dearest (81) - I’m not sure that I have enough appreciation for high camp to really get into this. There were some moments, but overall it’s a fine example of the kind of thing that is Not For Me.

48 Nightmare on Elm St: Freddy’s Revenge (85)

49 Inside Man (06)

50 Trainwreck (15)

51 White God (14)

52 * Sleepwalk With Me (12)

53 Amy (15)

54 * Meatballs (79)

55 Everybody Wants Some!! (16) - I found this a huge disappointment, and I’ve been a bit mystified by its positive reviews and inclusion on critics’ end of year lists. While D&C definitely has a “main character”, and we do follow him and his friends, other people and subsets of the high school are given serious time and consideration. Ultimately, I don’t think following this one dude tripping through a bunch of different college subsets was as illuminating. Plus, weak jokes.

56 * Dazed & Confused (93) - had to cleanse the mind-palate by watching the original!

57 Summertime (55)

58 The Money Pit (86)

59 Zombeavers (14)

60 Mistress America (15) - I am finding Greta Gerwig more and more charming, the more I see of her. Greta, let’s be friends!

61 While We’re Young (14)

62 The Invitation (16) - quite effective, very upper-middle-class bohemian LA horror film. I’ve heard some complaints about the final scene, but I thought it was an effective & clever way to show an expanding scope without an extra expense or sets.

63 End of Days (99)

64 Escape From New York (81)

65 Escape from L.A. (96) - Watched these two together, on the same night. They definitely should NOT be watched that way, given how identical the plots are. Unbelievably terrible ’96-era CGI in the second one, hard to believe that Jurassic Park was three years previous?? Gotta get that Spielberg money, am I right?

66 High Rise (16) - my only real disappointment in this movie was not being around to see the decline of the civilization - we jump straight from things being fine (if weird) and everything gone to heck. My favourite part is the decline, give me decline!

67 The Great Outdoors (88)

68 * Catch Me If You Can (02)

69 Little Darlings (80) - just your classic losing-virginity-at-camp story, but…wait for it….with GIRLS.

70 * Good Will Hunting (97)

71 Popstar (16) - diminishing returns, but some funny bits (mostly in the songs, not surprisingly).

72 Tarzan (16) - watched this with friends and relatives, at a drive-in theatre a couple of days after my wedding! It’s NOT a good movie, but it was a fun time.

73 Love & Friendship (16) - got completely obsessed with Tom Bennett based on his 100% rate of scene-stealing in this film. Sevigny feels utterly out of place - am I capable of seeing her in a period piece set before, say, 1975 without feeling weird about it?

74 The Night Before (15)

75 Ghostbusters (16) - So I know I was supposed to be charmed by Kate McKinnon, but her schtick just doesn’t work on me, for whatever reason. I was also really frustrated by the final fight scene of this movie - it had obviously been hacked up in editing, and wtf is up with punching ghosts instead of containing them? I’m glad this movie happened, and certainly a great deal of the criticism it came in for was deeply unfair, but it was distinctly disappointing to find that this movie just wasn’t that great.

76 Brooklyn (15)

77 Poltergeist (82)

78 * Before Sunrise (95)

79 Love & Basketball (00) - Effusive praise for this movie somehow came to my attention from all over the place this year, so I finally had to watch it.

80 The Man Who Knew Too Much (56)

81 * Road House (89)

82 Carol (15) - watching this FINALLY allowed me to fully participate in Today’s Meme Culture

83 * Out of Sight (98)

84 Happy Texas (99)

85 Red Rock West (93)

86 Weiner Dog (15)

87 The Trouble With Harry (55)

88 * When Harry Met Sally (89)

89 Jungle Fever (91)

90 Ocean’s 11 (01)

91 Star Trek Beyond (16)

92 Two For the Road (67)

93 * Seven Year Itch (55)

94 Maggie’s Plan (15) - like I said earlier about Greta Gerwig? I liked this one even more than Mistress.

95 The Dish (00)

96 Splash (84)

97 Desk Set (57) - watching this and the next were inspired by stumbling across a blog about depictions of librarians on film. I particularly hit on this one because I’ve always wanted to see a Hepburne/Tracy film, and never had (to my memory, anyhow).

98 Party Girl (95) - one of those movies I’d always noticed on the shelves at the video store, and never actually watched it.

99 * Young Frankenstein (74) - saw this in the theatre, Gene Wilder notwithstanding I…..don’t think it’s good. It’s only extremely intermittently funny, you guys! Plus, the Putting’ on the Ritz bit makes me uncomfortable (especially in audio-only form, which I heard TOO many times after Wilder died).

100 The House of the Devil (09)

101* The Witches of Eastwick (87)

102 The Borning (81)

103 * Shaun of the Dead (04)

104 Dolores Claiborne (95)

105 The Conjuring 2 (13)

106 In a Valley of Violence (16) - definitely watched this because I happened across an article about the movie’s dog star.

107 The Witch (16) - very effective in getting across the supernatural, natural, and social dangers of early puritan America, and Black Philip has entered my idiolect for any creepy animal/person/twitter feed.

108 * Wayne’s World (92)

109 What if (13) - riffs on When Harry Met Sally’s fundamental question of women and men being friends, and basically comes to the same conclusion. yawn.

110 The Martian (15) - I read the book as part of a book club last year, and finally got around to watching the film. Since I found the worst of the writing in the book to be those passages dealing with description, the movie was a lot less annoying to experience.

111 Sleepless in Seattle (93)

112 * Thelma & Louise (91)

113 Casino (95)

114 Other People (16) - wept several times. GOSH I love Jesse Plemons, he’s so hugely sympathetic. Would watch in virtually anything.

115 The Life & Death of Colonel Blimp (43)

116 Primary Colors (98)

117 Edge of Seventeen (16)

118 *Die Hard (88) - loaded up the laptop with this and the next four xmas-set movies, for watching on planes and in airports, while we were on the road at christmastime.

119 *Batman Returns (92)

120 *Scrooged (88)

121 * The Apartment (60)

Theatre - 5

Drive-in - 1

All the rest at home or at friends’ homes!

TV SERIES

*The Office US S2-3

War & Peace (2016) - you bet your BOOTS I started the book after watching this. Did I finish it? Not even close.

Love (2016)

Better Call Saul S2 - this is a show I enjoy while I’m watching it, but I don’t particularly find it memorable. Why? Who knows. It’s still something I look forward to, but not a show that sticks with me.

Great British Bake off *S1, *S2, S7 + Xmas Specials - a eulogy for Bake-Off as it was. Pour one (pint of double cream, that is) out for what once was.

Broad City S5

Travel Man S1, S2 - I find Richard Ayoade so desperately charming, but ever time I’ve watched one of the movies he’s directed, I’ve ended up disappointed. This show is a bit hit or miss, depending on the guests he brings along, and the episodes definitely have a sameness to them, but if you find this guy even a sliver as entertaining as I do, it’ll pull you along anyhow.

The Night Manager - so looking forward to Hugh Laurie’s upcoming career phase as Bond Villain.

Cooked

Newsradio S1-S3 - I’d seen an episode or two of this over the years but never sat down to fully appreciate it. It’s making me miss Phil Hartman all over again, a fresh devastation, plus haha did u know Tone Loc plays a security guard on this show? It’s all true.

Lady Dynamite

OJ Made In America - I’ll count this as a series, since I didn’t watch it in the theatre. Still haven’t seen the other big OJ series of 2016, but I loved loved LOVED this. What impressed me the most is that, in spite of its 7 hour+ running time there were still aspects of this story that could have been expanded upon.

Silicon Valley S3

* Veep S1, S2

Catastrophe S2

Pulling - went back in time to get more Sharon Horgan in my life, since Catastrophe seasons are terribly short and far-between. I’d been aware of this show for a long time, and somehow wasn’t expecting it to be as near-devastating as it ended up being. What, did I forget what a British show was like?

Another Period S2

Difficult People S1, S2 - Another late discovery, but a great one. A fine example of just giving some funny people a show, and letting them just do their thing on it every week.

Fleabag - yes, I’m in for this, obviously. And if I wasn’t, the show designed itself to put me off, from the first moments. A wise move!

One Mississippi

Very British Problems S1, S2

Atlanta - I’ve got a bad feeling that this show’s deserved success will lead to surreal elements being deployed, but much less deftly than they were here.

Please Like Me S1-S4 - Tore through this entire series greedily, am now suffering until they make another season. Balances some very harrowing elements with comedy and an ensemble cast of loveable/terrible humans.

Divorce - Sharon Horgan’s writing minus her acting is a hollow empty shell, but hey, I’ll take what I can get, when I can get it.

The Fall S3 - I’d decided last year after S2 that I was done with this show, and yet, here we are, I was drawn back in.

The Crown

Insecure

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