#half an hour of thanos being beat up by half the universe

[the-faultofdaedalus]

a4 aka Harley keener lives, starts building a rocketship from scratch to go personally kick thanos in the dick, a couple others ask what he’s doing and join, soon most of north america is in on this, Shuri gets in on it, they pick up the bots and the other half of earth, and also. the other halves of alien species that were killed along the way, and about 4 billion human civilians, one HELL of a lot more aliens, 5 AI’s, captain America, about 3 people with homemade suits of ironman-esque armor, various inhumans, and a fucking GOD are all rattling through space in the junkiest spaceships ever built to punch thanos Directly In The Face

they stop at titan to pick tony and nebula up and then the biggest roadtrip in HISTORY can commence

[five-rivers]

@lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks came up with this op!Danny/Marvel AU!

BTW I need help naming this newest proof that I can't keep anything to a short little one-shot.

.

Loki was not, and never had been, a good man. For that matter, whether or not he’d ever been a good boy was debatable. His mother would argue that he had, but she would very likely be the only one. Well, except for Thor, perhaps, but that was because he was an idiot who could drown in three inches of nostalgia. Like he didn’t remember every time Loki had humiliated him. Maybe he didn’t, for all that he kept falling for the same trick over and over again.

It made Loki’s late nights studying the arts of illusion, misdirection, and lying seem redundant. Almost. Not everyone was as dense as his big brother.

No. Loki had never been a good man. He had, however, been a free man.

Free to run or hide. Free to explore the nooks and crannies of Asgard, to uncover her secrets in ways few cared to do. Free to walk hidden paths between the Nine Realms and even farther flung territories, where his people did not and had never ruled, to play games, make deals, have adventures, take risks. To be. To exist as his own creature.

He had been free. He had.

But on one of those little secret excursions, he had discovered something that had made even his flippant, slippery heart clench with fear. A ravening plague, spreading across the stars. The death of half of everything on the horizon.

Loki was not a good man. What cause did he have to care for all the sundry others in the universe? There were too many. It was too much to ask.

But Asgard—His home, even though the had long ago realized the blood in his veins originated on very different soil. That was different.

Asgard, he could help. Asgard could survive.

But it had to be strong. It had to have strong allies. None of this barely-held peace, this enemy eternally at their gates. It needed strong leadership. Not his brother’s simplistic view and longing for the glory of war.

Loki was not a good man. But he was one who could get things done.

Before he knew it, he had burned all his bridges behind him. In one case, a literal bridge that was literally broken.

And he fell.

And he fell.

And he fell right into the hands of the one he had feared enough to do this. Broken enough for poison to drip into the cracks. No one knew where he was, no one could know where he was, except, perhaps, Heimdal, and Loki sincerely doubted Heimdal cared. No one was coming for him. No one was looking for him. No rescue was forthcoming.

He was alone.

Asgardians were considered gods for a reason. Their bodies and minds were much more resilient than the average mortal’s. But Thanos’s people had been titans, and there was a reason for that, too.

Thanos enjoyed breaking him.

And Loki turned his lies on himself. A skilled master of games always had one gifted opponent, even alone. Hadn’t he wanted to rule? To command? To see a world, any world, prostrate at his feet? To be given the recognition and praise of which he was so worth?

To pull something, anything, out of the fire?

(If he had spent less time learning how to spin lies and more on how to see the truth, he might not have believed it. A better, wiser, man would have. But Loki was not a good man. And he was very skilled in his craft.)

So, his new master put a weapon in his hands, and he went off to conquer a world.

.

Danny was used to rude awakenings. He was used to those rude awakenings being full body chills and ghosts, not someone knocking on his door.

Blearily, he pulled himself out from under the blankets. Quasi-military government facility or not, the beds were comfortable. Maybe Mom or Dad had gotten themselves locked out of their room? Or Jazz—No, not Jazz, she hadn’t come with them. She was at college, not being flown places by Mom and Dad’s suspiciously generous new consulting job.

At least it wasn’t the GIW.

He stood on tiptoe (curse his perpetually short body) to peer out the peephole. His parents’ buff, one-eyed, and incredibly imposing new boss stood in front of the door, hands on his hips, slightly sweeping back his long dark coat. If Danny listened carefully, he could hear two other people near the door, and… was that an alarm? Yes. Faint, but present, was a warning klaxon.

Okay. Danny would bet his right arm that something had gone horribly wrong with whatever his parents were consulting on. Didn’t explain why the boss was in front of his door.

Unless they’d gotten the rooms mixed up, somehow?

Ugh. Danny wasn’t paid enough to deal with this.

He opened the door. “What-?”

“Phantom,” intoned eyepatch guy with great solemnity.

Danny immediately tried to close the door. The guy stuck his foot in the jamb, and, sure, Danny could have crushed it, but that would be a jerk move. He didn’t think this guy was going for a pirate look, after all.

“We need your help.”

.

“I’m not sure what you think I can help you with,” yelled Danny over the beating of the helicopter blades. He’d remained stubbornly in human form. “My parents are the scientists. This sounds like a science thing. Not a punching-people thing.”

“We spoke to them earlier,” said Fury, “and we have plenty of scientists working on the theories they brought up. You’re the one with practical experience.”

“Practical experience in what?”

“Interdimensional portals,” said the woman, who had yet to introduce herself.

As if this whole thing wasn’t already giving him a bad feeling. “My parents built an interdimensional portal. Again, you should be talking to them. They’re the ones you’re paying.”

“We could pay you, too,” said Fury, “but we assumed you would want to avoid letting your parents know about this, as you’re still a minor and they have control of your bank accounts.”

Danny stared flatly. “This is blackmail.”

“We aren’t threatening you,” pointed out the woman.

“Emotional blackmail,” said Danny, glaring, daring her to challenge him on whether or not he actually knew what blackmail was.

In the meantime, the helicopter landed. Danny unbuckled and hopped out, trailing slightly awkwardly behind Fury and the woman. He didn’t want to stand out, but he suspected that, being the only kid here and being in the general vicinity of Fury, who radiated authority, that was a lost cause.

“This is Agent Coulson. Coulson, this is Phantom.”

Danny’s mouth went dry(er) at how casual the introduction was. His eyes went nervously to all the other people running around the field. With all the noise, it was unlikely anyone had heard, but still…

“Can you not? Secret identity and all? Unless you’ve told everyone herealready, which, rude.”

Fury sighed. “How bad is it?” he asked Coulson.

“We’re not sure,” said Coulson. “That’s the problem. Big fan of your work, by the way,” he added as an aside to Danny. He glanced at the woman. “Agent Hill.”

“Background?” asked Fury as he led the way into the building.

“The first energy surge was four hours ago. Dr. Selvig’s equipment picked it up – He’s the head scientist on this project.”

“Dr. Selvig isn’t authorized to test,” said Fury. “We wanted to run his plans by the Fentons.”

“He wasn’t testing. He wasn’t even in the room. He called it ‘spontaneous advancement.’”

“It turned itself on?”

“What are the energy levels?” asked Fury before Hill’s question could be answered.

“Climbing,” said Coulson.

“Mr. Fenton,” said Fury, “any comments?”

“Look, I don’t even know what this thing that you built looks like or what it’s a door to.” Danny frowned as a thought occurred to him. “You’re not expecting me to fight whatever comes out of it, are you? Because, unless you’ve got a ghost portal down there, I can’t make guarantees.”

“It’s called the Tesseract,” said Coulson. “It’s supposed to be a connection to the other side of space. A source of unlimited energy. At least,” there was a note of humor in his voice despite the evacuation taking place around them, “that’s what the scientists say.”

“A door to space?” asked Danny, firmly shoving down his excitement at the prospect. “Like, a Stargate?” It was no good, he could practically feel himself sparkling. He took a firm grip of his core and reminded himself he might need to fight before the end of the day.

“Well, no,” said Coulson. “It’s this little… cube… thing.” He made a shape with his hands.

“Oh,” said Danny, mind still whirring. “You know, if it’s really a tesseract, it isn’t a cube in just three dimensions, so bigger things could come out of it than you’d think.” He’d seen some weird portals in the Ghost Zone.

“Well, right now, we’re just getting energy.” They entered a large room with an extremely sci-fi setup. It looked like they were planning to shoot some kind of laser across the room onto a platform surrounded by strange-looking panels. There were men with guns scattered around in what was probably a well thought out formation Danny couldn’t see. There was also a dude with a bow sitting up in the rafters. He frowned down at Danny as he noticed Danny noticing him.

“Dr. Selvig!”

“Director!”

“What do we know?”

Danny allowed himself to be distracted by the centerpiece of the room, a piece of machinery built around what was indeed a little cube thing. He tilted his head and approached, trying to get a better view of it around the people in lab coats and protective gear currently swarming it. He caught mention of radiation a grimaced.

It was unlikely to kill him, but, really, everyone here should probably be wearing more PPE. You never knew what was going to come out of an interdimensional portal, after all. Except trouble. Trouble was a pretty safe bet.

It was pretty. Blue. Reminded him a little of a blue raspberry ice pop. Part of him wanted to lick it. Which was stupid. He didn’t want to wind up half what-ever-lived-on-the-other-side on top of his regular ghost nonsense.

“Mr. Fenton?”

Danny jumped and turned, refocusing on the adults, who had multiplied while he’d been daydreaming. The guy with the bow had joined them.

“Mr. Fenton? Like the Doctors Fenton I spoke to earlier?” asked Selvig.

“Yeah, it’s—”

This, of course, was when everything decided to explode. Sort of.

The blue cube shot out a beam of energy that had more than a little in common with the Fenton Bazooka’s portal setting. The beam terminated on the platform, a portal rapidly forming.

Danny slid into a fighting stance, and barely even noticed as blue energy washed over the room, throwing many less-prepared people back.

Something shaped like a man stepped through the portal.

Danny did not break his stance. Still. “An alien,” he whispered, eyes wide. If they were friendly, maybe they’d answer his questions about space. If they weren’t friendly, maybe they’d answer his questions about space after Danny beat them up.

(Danny did not go ghost. Did not even think about going ghost. There were too many people here, and the space was too open.)

Fury attempted to negotiate. Danny approved. Not everything that came through an interdimensional portal was necessarily evil.

Except this guy apparently was. Go figure. He could also deflect bullets and was very good with throwing knives, which led to Danny having to pull several of the gun guys out of their own line of fire as well as the alien’s line of knife. Who would have thought an alien’s weapon of choice would be throwing knives? The energy-blasting spear was much more in line with his expectations.

The bow guy proved to be more competent than the gun guys. This didn’t really surprise Danny. Bow guy sort of had to be competent. Otherwise, no way would they let him go around with a bow. Like, seriously. A bow.

Even so, bow guy was fighting an alien and—

“You have heart,” said the alien, raising the spear.

Danny pushed bow guy out of the way, and his mind fuzzed out.

(The human part of it, anyway.)

.

Loki didn’t know what a child was doing here, and he didn’t particularly care. The boy would do for a hostage, at least. He had a mission he had to fulfil, or else…

Or else.

“Please don’t,” he said turning with a shadow of his usual lazy affect, vaguely insulted that the human thought he could be sneaker that him, “I still need that.”

The human went on and on, apparently burdened with the delusion that he was on the same level as Loki.

Loki was burdened with other things. A glorious purpose. Glad tidings. Freedom. What could be better than freedom?

“A world free from what?” asked the human.

“From freedom,” said Loki, and wasn’t that what he believed, now? Wasn’t that what he’d been shown? “Freedom is life’s great lie.” He would know. He was an excellent liar. “Once you accept that, in your heart—” He batted away an arrow and tsked. “Shield me, boy,” he demanded. Had Thanos misrepresented the scepter’s powers? Or was the boy merely—

A dome of green surrounded him and the boy, thrumming with magic the likes of which he had only seen once, in a tome thrice forbidden.

“Oh,” said Loki, almost purring. “You are interesting. What are you?”

“Half human, half ghost,” replied the boy, tersely.

Loki had never heard of such a creature. No matter. He’d be sure to make good use of him.

“Grab the scientist,” he said, nodding at the balding man who had been with his brother when he’d fought the Destroyer in the desert.

Loki wanted the archer. He seemed interesting. Useful.

.

Fenton was under thrall. Phantom knew what that felt like. A hundred feet under red water, trying not to drown, whispers everywhere. Pulling. Pushing. Prodding.

This was different, but the principle was the same.

Neither half of him could truly ‘fight’ the other. Fenton and Phantom were a single entity. Not two in lockstep. Even so.

Fenton grabbed onto Dr. Selvig, as ordered. Phantom made sure that was all they did.

“What are you doing, boy?” snapped Loki. “Follow me! Bring the scientist.”

And so, they followed.

.

Loki breathed. Acquiring Barton had been the right choice. The boy was powerful, but, perhaps because of his unique biology, did not have Barton’s presence of mind, and couldn’t have led him to such wonderful allies.

Allies.

These weren’t truly his allies. Nor were they subjects. They were…

Loki forced himself to breathe. He just had to follow the mission. Follow the mission, let Thanos’s army through. He’d been promised this world. He would have this world.

And then he could be… His mind stuttered over the next word, and he shook his head, trying to drive out the painful buzz of Thanos’s herald and mouthpiece trying to contact him.

He looked up at the drones bustling around, all according to his will. Except the boy, who stared at him, somehow managing to be both utterly blank and challenging at the same time.

He was alone, here.

He was alone.

But what did it matter? Bad men always wound up alone, and Loki… Loki could never be a good man.

[thefanbasewhore]

Can you do a soulmate Stucky x reader? I feel like you would write that so well, especially how you portrayed bucky in "are you mad at me" was so soft. The soulmate version would be so cute

Summary || Bucky and Steve meet their soulmate, which they had no idea existed.

Warning/content || fluff, a small explicit scene, fighting. Soulmate AU.

Paring || Bucky Barnes x reader x Steve rogers

I got a little carried away, but enjoy ❤️ not edited or beta read but I'm sleepy 😴

Bucky and Steve have had each other from the moment they have met. Imaging their surprise, being two little boys from Brooklyn seeing colors, something the two agreed to hide, pending the time period.

It was different now, a different time. They were accepted and while both of them loved each other, so very much, especially through the mind control, fighting each other, then for each other. They always knew something was missing.

A color, maybe even two, three. A part of them missing but they both collectively came to the conclusion that it was just that. Some missing colors, it happens sometimes.

It happens when they least expect it.

After Thanos, after Tony finally deciding to leave that kind of life behind, buying a small two bedroom house on the outskirts of the city. A home to grow old in, be together for the first time since before the war started but only one thing prevented that.

The house was a disaster, gutted to the foundations, no running water, green moss outside covered the whole house, the lawn completely out of control. For Bucky it was a hard no, it was a dump but the moment Steve fluttered those ridiculously long lashes, how could he say no?

So here they are, sweating on this 90 degree day, putting up new dry wall with no air-conditioning.

"What color should it be?" Steve asks, glancing to his dark haired lover, taking notice of his now shirtless appearance. Bucky let out a sigh, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

"Maybe we should get all of the walls up first."

Steve clicks his tongue, "I like the color green, like a nice pastel mint green."

"Whatever you want, honey." Bucky wasn't too picky, besides whatever made Steve happy, made him happy.

"Hello?" A sweet, feminine voice came from the kitchen. The doors left open because of the heat, there was nothing much in here anyways.

Steve pulls away from his task, pulling his shirt over his head to wipe his forehead with it. "Come in, we are in the kitchen."

Bucky wasn't too alarmed, Steve had told him previously that he hired a someone to make up the yard, nothing too fancy but the both of them were completely clueless when it came to plants, or gardens period.

"Quite a project you have going on here, Mr. Rogers." No doubt taking in the half gutted house along the way. While they have never met, they spoke on the phone briefly about his wants.

"You have no idea, Hun."

The woman looks around the kitchen first, noticing the freshly painted cabinet, the smell a dead giveaway, half eaten burgers thrown to the side on a small, make shift table with barely enough room to fit.

At first glance towards the man she notices the sharp jawline, defined but soft feature of the blonde as she greets him with a smile which soon drops in confusion as small dots of color appear. Stormy blue eyes with a full beard, Steve's mouth dropping agape as he notices the splirts of color - the missing colors for 106 years finally appear.

Bucky notices the tension in the room, shifting his attention from the wall to Steve, noticing how intensely he's staring, Bucky follows the line of vision and meets sweet eyes.

She's hit with another line of color, different from Steve's but now there's no more gray hue, bright yellows and blues. The outside is suddenly so bright and Bucky mouth drops.

This cannot be happening.

They sit there and stare for what seems like hours.

"I - ugh.." she starts, "What is happening?"

***

Sometimes life just throws curve balls, like finding out that your soulmate or in this cause soulmates are two, one hundred year old super soldiers who have already been in love with each other for over a decade.

The pull is already strong, nature intended for these souls to be together until death due part and honestly Bucky could feel it. With Steve he was used to the urge of wanting to have him close, kiss him every free minute he has but with the woman in front of him, it's new.

He doesn't even know her name, watches the way she nervously flickers from Steve's gaze to his own. She's beautiful.

Strong but delicate features, the curve of her nose is cute, cupid lips are so full... kissable. He can't stop staring, even with Steve and her in the mist of conversation. The make shift table cleared of all prior mess, Buck and Steve have to share a chair, which is quite comical, seeing two giant supersoldier try to share a small, old, dinning room seat.

Bucky's metal fingers twitch, metal plate click and whirl to life as he tights to urge to map her face out with his fingers. His heart is beating so fast, filled with so much... Love? Joy?

No matter how much Steve and Bucky try to hide it.. deep down they always knew, something was missing and in this case, someone.

"You're beautiful." The words catch both her and Steve off guard, Bucky blushes red something terrible but the sweet smile defuses the fire.

Well until she says something back, "You are too."

His whole face is hot and Steve reaches over to affectionately rub the back of his shoulder. Of course Steve was calm, he always is.

He handles things with lots of thought and understanding, while Buck is more hot headed, acts on the moment.

***

"It doesn't feel right." Bucky comments, watching from the window to insure she safely gets into the car. Steve sighs, by the time they're done talking darkness has filled the house. Steve affectionately squeezes the brunette's bicep, pressing a kiss to his hair.

"I know Bucky. This is a lot for her, for us. She needs to take time and reflect on this. She'll come to us when she's ready."

Bucky knows nothing then her name, and love for plants but chews at his bottom lip nervously. She's too far, the bond pulls at his heart strings. Now bonded forever. "What if she never comes back?"

"She will."

***

A few days pass, the kitchen is finally done, new appliances, new china and kitchen fully stocked. Steve is making something for Dinner - it smells amazing while Bucky starts painting the walls of the lifeless living room.

It's bare, not even something to sit on but no doubt with the stamina of two super soldiers it will be done by next week.

The knock on the front door is unexpected, but Bucky replies quickly. "I got it, Stevie!"

He expects some older, much wrinkly neighbor to be complaining about the noise of the nail gone or something this late at night. His mouth drops, a little shocked at the sight of her.

A very formal sitting dress, long and black, dips into a sweetheart neckline, the valley of her breasts easily visible. Hair is thrown into a neat updo, sexy and sleek.

Bucky clears his throat. "Hi." He squeaks out, feeling like a total idiot as he watches her nervously shift her weight from one heel to the other.

"Hi, I was in the area. A wedding for one my clients, thought I'd come say hello." Bucky wants to shake his head in disbelief that something so beautiful, just like Steve is made for him.

The universe sculpted and made two beautiful, breath taking human beings to be his and it's overwhelming. She's so pretty it's alarming.

It was a good excuse, the truth but not the real reason she stopped by. How could she tell them that they have been on her mind none stop? It physically hurts to be away for so long.

"Who is it, Buck?" Steve mumbles, interrupting the thick tension between the two.

"Come in, doll." Bucky's helps her with the jacket that lays over his shoulders, mentioning his head towards the direction of the kitchen, where his other lover is.

Steve is stunned none the less, he at least expected a few more days. Also, feeling much like Bucky, amazed by the radiating beauty.

He decides to play it cool, dimples forming with a breath taking smile. "Do you like spaghetti?"

Hours pass, time moves so fast with conversation, and adding wine to the mix surely didn't help.

The trio once again in the kitchen, but this time each have a chair, a new, more comfortable dinning set.

"You got this done fast. It's beautiful." She comments, "Colors are beautiful, I guess I have you two to thank for that."

Bucky shifts in his seat, the glass of wine is useless but still finds himself sipping from it. Her eyes are red, watery with a slight buzz.

"Do you feel it?" The question has both Bucky and Steve look at each other, watching her teary eyes as she presses a hand to sooth the ache in her chest. "It hurts, it hurts to be away. All week."

"It's normal." Steve answers just above a whisper, his next words make Bucky's bottom lip quiver. "I felt it every day for the last 5 years, Bucky was gone."

Bucky had never thought about it - there hasn't been enough time to. It's only been a month later since the return and it never occurred to him what Steve has gone through.

"Steve.." He starts, tears kiss his waterline as his fingers run through the blonde's hair. "I'm sorry sweetheart, I didn't know, I -."

"Couldn't prevent it Buck. It happened but you're here now and.." Steve turns his attention towards the girl, tears slip past her eyelids. It's for Steve, for Bucky.. all the pain and suffering they've been through. "Hey, don't cry, it's alright beautiful."

It's feels right, despite barely knowing the man, nothing feel more right then being pulled into his chest as a large metal hand comforts her in a different way, rubbing the loose strands of hair as he murmurs. "We've got you now, you're our other half."

***

Months have past from that day. The house is finally done, everything they could have imagined with the additional of an extra tooth brush in the cup that sits on the bathroom sink, a pile of fuzzy blankets at the bottom of the bed and a five year old chocolate lab. Steve didn't mind much, he's always loved dogs, Bucky on the other hand...

"Alright, alright, Maverick." Bucky huffs, grocery bags in hand as the dog excitedly nuzzles his legs, following him throughout the house like it wasn't only an hour ago he's seen him. Once putting the bags down, hears the whine, big brown eyes staring up at him. Bucky sighs, dropping to a knee before petting the pup's head. "Alright you mutt, don't tell anyone about this."

"Too late, pal." Bucky jumps, hearing the amusement in Steve's voice, followed by the giggle of the woman that peers out from behind him. Wrapping her arms around Steve before testing her head against his shoulder.

"Caught you red handed, you love Mav." Bucky grumbles at her words, feeling two smaller hands wrap around his waist as a head falls into his chest. He presses a soft kiss into her hair before taking in the blonde that barely fits through the doorway he leans against.

Bucky's free hand reaches out, mentioning him closer but as she's soon finds herself in the middle of a super soldier sandwich. "Hi, baby." Bucky presses a kiss to the blonde's lips.

"Hi, pal."

***

"It's only one mission. That's it, we will be in and out." Steve promises, not liking the way his girls face twist into a worried expression.

Heavy eyes, lower lip sticking out to pout. "What if something happens? If you get hurt? Or if they find you, Bucky?"

"I told you, Hydra is gone, honey." Bucky's large hands sooth over her tight shoulders, pressing soft kisses to the back of her upper traps.

"No. You still have nightmares at least three times a week. This can't be good for you. And you." She turns her attention back towards Steve, "Barely sleep four hours a night. You carry the fault on your shoulders, you don't need anymore. I don't want you two to go."

"We don't have a choice. They were my family once, I owe this to them." Steve didn't miss the way her lips moves to form a snarl, not sparing another glance as she makes a b-line for the stairs.

Bucky sighs, leaning against the wall. "She's going to be mad at us." Rubbing his chest with hopes to ease the burn.

The bond pulls at their hearts, a slow, painful punishment for their actions.

They return two weeks later, tired, just wanting to see their girl. The moment they walk into the house they look at each other with will wild eyes, heart pumping as they fear the worse. The dog, the annoying wiggling tail that would bark is one where to be found, something is wrong.

It's alarming. "Where is that freaking mutt?"

Steve calls her name, but there is no answer. Bucky and him are searching the house, ascending the stairs, opening the bedroom door with a deep sigh of relief.

The stupid dog takes up half of the bed, but is cuddled into his owner. Arm draped around the ball of fur, amount as long as her.

The dog lifts his head, a little tail waggle as Steve stretches his ears, lowering to his knees and laying his top half over the bed to press loud, audible kisses to his ears. "Good boy, protecting our girl while we are gone."

When morning comes she notices the dog is still pressed against her, licking small stripes against her cheeks. "Have to go out, buddy?"

She barely makes it five steps before tripping over two rather large bodies, sleeping on a makeshift bed on the floor. Bucky groans and Steve's eyes flicker open.

"Why are you on the floor?"

"Wanted you to sleep pretty girl. Mav was taking up all the room and you looked like an angel." Bucky hums in agreement despite his eyes being closed.

"Mmm, well it's all free now." It's short, simple but the sarcastic tone has Bucky's eyes flickering to meet his boyfriend's. They both sigh, staring up at the ceiling, knowing it's going to be a long day.

And it is. She's does whatever she can to get away from them, only answers with short replies to the point Bucky can't take it anymore.

"Sweetheart," Bucky tries again but she doesn't acknowledge him, eyes stayed glued to the book. He gets fed up, metal plates click as artificial appendages run over the binding and pull it from her grasp.

"Give it back, James."

He cringes at the name, a displeased frown wears his face. "No, you have to talk to us."

"No."

"You're bring a brat." Bucky starts, watching her expression change from annoyed to anger, wrinkles of frustration pinch between her eyebrows.

"Buck - don't say that to her." Steve comments, it's his fault, he's the one who said yes without confiding in her first.

"She is, it's over with now. She has no right to be this mad."

"No right?" Her chest fills with emotion as a humourless chuckle causes both men to stiffen. "No right? Huh Buck? I sat here for two full weeks, no communication, nothing while the two of you are out there fighting God knows what after you swore, promised you would always be with me. Don't promise me forever if you're just going to throw yourself in danger! You're going to die and leave me, or worse! Both of you will."

No one says a word, only watch as her chest rises and falls with deep, heavy pants despite the tears that rolls past her eyes lashes.

"Honey, I'm sorry -."

"I don't want to hear it James, and you." She turns towards Steve, fire in her soul. "I thought you would understand, more then him, considering it has happened to you."

She leaves the room without another word, Buck turns towards Steve, watching the way he fights the tears that gather. The pain of loosing Bucky is still so fresh, "She's right Buck, we fucked up."

"I know, I know." He mumbles into Steve's shoulder, pulling him close.

***

"You're so good to me, sweet girl." Bucky moans as she shifts her hips against him, the blunt end of his cock hitting the spot inside her that makes her squeal for more.

Large hands squeeze her hips as Steve leans over to find his boyfriend's lips, kissing him through the gasps and whines of their girl's name as she circles her hips around Bucky.

Steve's hands pull at his hair, lips trailing from his lips, down his cheeks before nipping at his jaw.

"How does he feel honey?"

"So good, Stevie." For a second he's in a trance, watching the way her face contours with pleasure and the pain of her third orgasm well on its way.

Steve lays next to Buck, hand wrapping around his own heaviness between his legs as he stokes it, switching between her face of pleasure to Bucky's, who bites his lip to suppress a moan.

It's short lived as hips stutter against her own, coating her walls with his warm cum.

Steve barely gives her time to recover, positioning her on his hands and knees before hovering over her ear and nibbling on it. "My turn, honey."

***

Her hands nervously shake, the kitchen table is all set up, dinner is ready but at the moment she doesn't have an appetite.

Between this morning sickness, the overall change her body is under going, food makes her sick. The opening of the front door makes her sit up straight, sucking in a deep breath.

Two voices conversationing in the hall, "I thought I said for you to lock the door when we leave." Buck is clearly annoyed, it's been a long day but Steve rubs his shoulders, mumbling something incoherent.

Upon entering the kitchen, they both grow worried. Face drained of color, red blotchy eyes with shaky hands.

"Hey, hey." Steve drops to his knees in front of her seat in an instant, hands curling around her wrist as worried steel blue eyes follow his stance, reaching over to stroke her cheek. "What is it? What happened?"

"I'm pregnant." She pauses, "I'm scared, I'm scared. What if someone comes for you? How are we supposed to raise a baby? What if it has the serum, will it ever be safe?"

The questions fill Bucky with dread, how much though put into every sentence, every word is like a new hit of pain to his body but he stays strong. For his girl, he leans forward, wiping the tears away from discolored cheeks. "Everything is going to be fine babydoll, you're going to be fine, our baby is going to be fine."

[ashleyetc]

i said i wasnt gonna rant about how fucking bad Eternals was but ive decided that i can bitch about this particularly bad mcu movie as a treat. this is long, but the movie is the better part of three hours so

okay so first of all, it starts off like, dumb. it starts off with a fucking opening crawl like its star wars with an explanation of how the eternals exist to fight for intelligent life blah blah blah but as someone over the age of 8 its immediately really apparent that this is gonna be bullshit and theyll have been unknowingly evil the whole time. like its set up so weakly and impotently that like at best it reads as an early draft.

in our first scene of the eternals fighting the deviants (this movie's cgi monsters, which i will say are at least more visually engaging than a lot of comparable ones. whoever animated them really wished they got to work on Annihilation and it shows in a good way) i immediately clocked that 'hey chiseled jaw white dude who can fly and shoot eye lasers looks pretty fucking sinister huh. oh god please dont' (spoilers, they very much do).

then it really starts with us seeing protag in the modern day. nothing about this section is interesting. i think we're supposed to find her and kit harrington cute as a couple, and i dont object to them, but hes never significant in this and spoilers for one of the aftercredits scenes literally only features so prominently because hes setup to be in Blade. there are much larger issues with this shitshow but thats a peak mcu problem right there

so then we get to the first fight scene in the modern day and i am immediately confused because for some completely unfathomable reason the black point is set absurdly wrong so fight scenes, at night, poorly lit, with a mostly black cgi monster, are completely illegible. this will continue to be the case throughout every scene not in daylight and it will never get better or make any more sense.

now predictably, we soon find out that oh no, the eternals have been working in service of the baddies the whole time, who want to cultivate intelligent life to hatch their kids. said bad guys, the celestials, are also like, gods effectively, in that they create and maintain the universe. we have no info on this outside of what one of them tells our protag tho so like weird dynamic. but anyways. for some reason half the eternals are like 'well yeah alright lets let it happen' and keep going back and forth on that which if this movie were written by someone who even pretended to give a shit could be an interesting concept.

moving on we continue to get the band back together and run into druig. now in a flashback we see that he led to them scattering across the planet when he went 'hey maybe we should stop genocide sometimes' and this started a big fight. so naturally, youre thinking ah yes this must be a more likeable member of the team. and thats a reasonable assumption! an understandable thing to think, really. except his powers are literally mass mind control of humans and while in earlier flashbacks he just uses these to like, stop fights and get ppl to chill out, when we see him in the modern day hes like, possessing an entire village in south america for his own little paradise? which is an absolutely deranged choice to make for a character we i think are at least not supposed to despise. like holy shit guys, you sure did that and have decided hes not the villain for it.

at some point we flash back to their original leader ajak deciding to actually stop the celestial from being born and killing earth, not because she thinks genocide in general is wrong- she is the one whose known the whole time this is what theyre doing- but because well it was earth ppl who beat thanos so i guess they should get a pass. like she is explicitly 'well these ones are good tho. no regrets on the other planets we've done this to that only i remember tho.' at this point she is killed by icarus, the chiseled jaw flying wite dude with superstrength and eye lasers. yup! its a But What If Superman Bad story now! we even have a scene where a child explicitly calls him fucking superman!!the hack writing here knows no fucking bounds.

did i mention sprite? the one who despite the fact theyre immortal (robots, we find out sometime in all this) is a 13 ish year old girl visually? when icarus decides to betray everyone and try to make sure they cant stop the celestial birth she joins him because she apperntly has always been in unrequited love with him. now this goes nowhere and serves no purpose other than to make me deeply fucking uncomfortable, but at least sprite is a user of illusion magic who literally stabs our protag in the back during the final fight. its discount loki!

oh also hephastus's whole deal is hes like, an artificer and has pushed human tech along and theres a fucking scene that blows my goddamn mind. where we see ajak comforting him as he weeps in the fresh destruction of hiroshima. where hes like 'oh god i did this humanity is awful and not worth saving blah blah blah' and its like. okay. this character, i cannot stress enough, is black. presumably, if he was instrumental in the atom bomb, was living in america. as a black guy. in the 1940s. and hes only just now starting to doubt humanity is all great and good? tell me the writers room wasnt as diverse as the cast without telling me the writers room wasnt as diverse as the cast. like in a good movie exploring these immortals who have lived alongside humanity for all of history debating whether humanity deserves to live, youd think the black one might have an interesting perspective or something to say about race. this aint that movie tho.

the climactic fight scene ends with such an impotent fart of a climax that i genuinely feel like i missed something. throughout the whole thing theres mentions of how sersi and icarus were in love for thousands of years, icarus only leaving her when he found out the truth of their mission and couldnt bear to be around her and not tell her. and in their final fight, he looks into her eyes, we see a flashback to an earlier scene of them getting married in like 200 ad or w/e, and he silently decides to fly into the sun killing himself (presumably).

this movie is 2 hours and 45 minutes.

i expect bad mcu movies. i expect dull, i expect propagandic, i expect humorless quips and half baked characters. i dont expect something so unpleasant and offensive to anyone who wants to actually think about anything happening on screen that it feels designed to be frustrating. the worst mcu movie previously in my opinion was thor 2, but its biggest sin was being painfully dull. this is worse. its painfully engrossing. i often enjoy watching movies i think are bad or whose ideas i disagree with, but this refused to even have ideas, really- it constantly threatened to but they never really showed up, at least not without being immediately contradicted. genuinely this is worse than Suicide Squad (2016). i would rather rewatch the snyder cut.

one of the worst things about it is how clearly it was calculated in some boardroom, that if we had a diverse cast we didnt need a good movie. like sure, we have plently of racial diversity, we have a mute character (genuinely unclear based on a particular scene whether shes deaf or not but she speaks via sign), we have a gay man raising a kid with his husband, etc. guess we dont need anything else. guess thats definitely the only thing that matters. and i know some incredibly stupid people will agree with that. you google it and get articles about how its doing so much good for representation and like. im reminded of when tumblr was like 'you gotta watch black lightning there are black lesbians' and nobody bothered to mention that the show fucking sucked (to be fair i think it was a cw show so thats on me for not assuming but).

anyways harry styles has a cameo in one of the post credits scenes. its charmless. 1/10 movie, both in general and for the mcu.

[coco96]

LDAF - The Avengers

Hiding Magic (Avengers X Teen!Reader) Warnings: Mention of crime (stealing) Request: ... reader who is a very powerful magician ... who also robs because their family is poor ... One day all the Avengers comes to their school to give a speech. However, the reader gets there late and sees the Avengers thinking they’re about to get arrested. They then go to the Bathroom to use magic and escape. Right when R using magic Peter, Tony, Strange walks in. After talking the R ends up an Avenger.

Serenity (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Sick child, illness Request: ... reader being a part of the avengers, but the others gets suspicious when she starts refusing missions on particular dates and she always sneaks of, but it turns out she visits a children’s hospital or something because she wants to give them hope? ...

Crushing The Grape (Avengers X Male!Reader) Warnings: Spoilers to Infinity War. Death. Reader basically tortured Thanos. Think Magneto with blood. Request: Could you do avengers x male reader where male reader kills that giant purple grape(thanos) on Titan

The Happiest Avenger (Avengers X Reader) TRIGGER WARNING: Depression and self harm mention Request: ... R is very happy to a point where they’re the happiest person on the avengers but the R is secretly messed up, they never shows it. The R has a secret they self-harm. So one day Steve finds the scars while they’re talking in the kitchen then thinks the worst. So he sets up a meeting with the crew and the next day R walks in and the crew have to act normal but then comfronts the R but the end is very fluff

Young Weapon (Avengers X Teen!Male!Reader) Warnings: Mention of violence, mention of fire, death of parents, mention of torture Request: ... reader where he’s discovered as a brainwashed assassin (like bucky) where he was taken when he was like 5 and is now 15 and he suffered worse than bucky did and they try to help him oh wow that was long

Not Happening (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mentions of torture, brain washing, ptsd/nightmares and killing. Request: ... reader is a superpowered teenager that the avengers took care of after finding her in a hydra base. She’s still trying to fit in but the government is trying to take her away due to her past crimes when she was still controlled by hydra ...

Scratches (Avengers X Male!Reader) Warnings: Sexual mentions Request: … Where male reader was training and took his shirt of and the avengers see he has scratches(from late night activities) on his back and tease him about it and he comes up with a sassy response. The whole late night activities don’t have to be detailed

No More Fighting Pt 1 (Avengers X Reader)     |     Part 2 Warnings: Death of character Request: ... before the battle cap and iron have a fight but the reader plays peacemaker and makes everything alright. At the battle the reader sacrifice themself to help the avengers get away before getting captured ... but the avengers think they k.i.a. And at the funeral cap and iron make peace for the sake of the reader

Ranger (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Fighting Request: .... a steampunk style and meets the avengers after they see her beating up bad guys or something ...

Testing Patience (Avengers X Fem!Reader)     |     Part 2 Warnings: Mild swearing Request: … a very calm reader who life with the avengers in the tower and one day she is mad at something and all the avengers are there and think she is very cute when she is angry and hug her and joke on her, and she gets more angy because they think she is cute …

Anomaly (Avengers X Teen!Male!Reader) Request: ... reader who is a powerful being and all they know about their life is that they’re human with powerful powers. Avengers are trying to capture them, they’re trying to capture him to question him. because he robbed a bank and seen what the reader could do. The powers he has are called Imagination Manifestation its like imagining something and comes true. And at the end he some how gets a job at avengers

Blind Meeting (Avengers X Blind!Reader) Request: ... reader is really nervous to meet the avengers because shes blind but peter assures her that itll be fine and the avengers end up loving her

Loyalty (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Torture, memory loss Request: ... reader gets compromised, tries to take down the avengers ... They refuse to fight her ...

Revenge Is Bloody (Avengers X Vampire Reader)     |     Part 2 Warnings: Blood and gore Request: ... hydra operatives keep showing up dead drained of their blood? The team are called to investigate. Bucky is fine with it but everyone seems kind of nervous cause they don’t know what their dealing with. They find out it’s a girl in her teens that hydra experimented on turning her into a vampire and she was able to over power and hunt them down. They track her and she willingly goes with them to join the team.

Much Needed Sleep (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: passing out, swearing. Request: ... reader has insomnia and barely sleeps. She lies to the rest of them (the avengers) so they don’t worry. She has about 4 hours sleep a night, sometimes less. When she’s doing a mission, she collapses from exhaustion ...

Mistake (Avengers X Reader) Warnings: Injury, death Request: ... one day the reader messes up badly on a mission and the avengers talk about how the reader let down So the reader quits and the avengers go looking for the reader and finds them and talks about how they’re sorry ...

Real Magic (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warning: Falling from heights, presumed deaths, dangerous stunts. Request: Peter and The avengers go to a circus they decide to go see a magic show, and tony is totally not buying it. It turns out the reader is the star, and her magic is real. Maybe they try to get her on the team. …

“Did you have to seduce the entire team!?” (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Request: … reader is young and beautiful and starts living in the tower with the avengers and she flirts with all of them just for fun, and all of them think that she is in love with them and at the end they start fighting ... and ask reader which one would she choose finally and she chooses ruce ...

I Don’t Know What I’d Do Without You (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Self conscious reader, teasing Request: Can you do a female reader, where she feels as if she isn’t worthy enough to be in the avengers, she feels as if she’s the odd one out. Nat overhears her talking to her friend on the phone about thinking about leaving and she gets the others to convince her she is worthy?

Auntie June Came Early (Male Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warning: Period time~ Request: … reader is in her days and Nat and Wanda are away, and the male avengers got nuts because they think she might be in a lot of pain and overprotect her and dont let her do anything, not even move, and she complain about the pain just once and they all freak out and she thinks is hilarious! ...

Helping (Avengers X Teen!Reader) Warnings: Bulimia, throwing up, bullying, self conscious reader. Request: ... reader is Tony’s daughter (although all of them are protective of her) and she has bulimia and she gets caught purging by one of the team members.

Hello, I’m Pansexual (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mention of homophobia, anxiety. Request: ... reader’s part of the avengers and has powers, but is pan and struggling w how to come out to the team bc she’s scared they’ll kick her off?

Surprise! (Avengers X Reader) Warnings: Sad emotions Request: … reader thinks everyone forgot their birthday but they were just planning a surprise party for them? …

If You Get Killed, Walk It Off. (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Grieving, supposed death, explosion, blood, death Request: … reader is in a mission with the avengers and then there is an explossion and the reader was in that building and everybody thinks that she died, and start to cry and remember how they love her, and finally she was ok, and goes with them and ask what happen? …

Help (Avengers X Reader) SERIOUS TRIGGER WARNING: SELF- HARM MENTIONS Request: ... a super angsty self-harm one with avengers.

Where Do Babies Come From? (Avengers X Child!Reader) Warnings: Mild swearing, sex ed talk Request: … reader is the little protect one sister of the avengers (like 12 years old) and she goes around the tower asking the avengers how babies are made. (she doesnt have a mom, so she doesnt know anything) and Tony freaks out because doesnt want her to grow up! …

Phantom (Avengers X Fem!Reader)     |     Part 2 Request: ... reader’s super badass the team rarely sees her shes like a ninja and according to clint who ever sees her outside missions will have a lucky day (lmao) and like when the teams having movie night shes just like standing behind them in the shadows ...

No Spoilers (Avengers X Reader)     |     Part 2     |     Part 3 Warnings: Spoilers of AOU SET BEFORE AOU Request: ... reader from our universe gets dropped into the avengers.

One Last Goodbye (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Death, mourning. Request: … reader died during a mission. Fury give Tony a USB key and told him to watch the video with the rest of the avengers. on the video the reader is talking about how much she loved them and tells each avenger little facts that she loved about them and she thanks them for being her family. …

Birthday Girl (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Request: ... it’s the female readers birthday. She works with the Avengers but aside from that she doesn’t have any friends. She is having a bad birthday, the avengers don’t know. They find out it’s her birthday and surprise her, making it better. …

Welcome to the Family (Avengers X Elf!Reader) Warnings: Mentions of neglect Request: ... reader is half human, half light elf but you were taken from Alfheim and abandoned on earth when the dark elves attacked. (From Thor) The avengers find you and take you in. Thor offers to bring you home but you’ve gotten attached to the human world and decides to stay. You’ve especially gotten attached to Tony cause he treated you like a daughter since you were very young and petite. Smaller then normal elves

Not Your Fault (Avengers X Fem!Teen!Reader) Warnings: Mention of extreme injury, disability, guilt. Request: ... reader is Tony’s teen daughter and she is really good friends with everyone in Team Cap but then during the airport fight she gets hurt and is unable to walk again ... and then when she sees Team Cap again they feel really guilty specially because one of them caused the injury and Natasha feels angry at herself because she was supposed to be her mother figure and look out for her ...

Fitting In (Avengers X Adopted!Reader) Request: ... Tony, being known for his impulsive choices adopts a 14 yr old girl. She’s got the innocent girl next door look but she’s a complete devil. Nat loves her, Clint is afraid of her and Loki, Bucky and Sam are her partners in crime for evil pranks. All is well until she pulls a prank on Bruce and he hulks out. But even Hulk falls under her innocent spell and can’t seem to do anything to her.

Hair Pulling (Avengers X Reader) Warnings: Hair pulling, pulling hair out Request: ... One of the Avengers finds out that the reader has trichotillomania and try’s to help them to stop?

Headaches (Avengers X Reader) Warnings: Spoilers of AoU, Illness, swearing, mention of getting high and drunk Request: The reader is sick all of the time and the avengers are concerned about them, so they have to try and convince the avengers that they’re okay in the long run ...

Killer Cupcakes (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Serious illness, near death Request: ... reader is like really sick/hurt and tries to hide it from the other avengers, but they find out and freak bc she almost died ...

The Ultimate Sacrifice (Avengers X Male!Reader) Warnings: Death of character, description of death, mourning Request: ... they’re trapped in a capsized (upside down) cruise ship and the reader ... sacrifices himself to save the group, based on the song My Immortal by Evanescence ...

Animals (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Swearing Request: ... reader is sort of spiritually connected with animals or has some sort of connection with animals where they just adore her ... and the avengers ... keep finding random animals around the tower and Tony keeps telling her off for it; secretly everyone finds it amusing and the reader knows this.

I Need My Family (Avengers X Reader) Warnings: Mention of harrassment, assault and swearing Request: ... reader is part time university student - part time Avenger ... and reader somehow gets into some trouble that involves the police, and they try to keep it secret from the others, but Steve finds out and tells Wanda, then they tell the others ...

Other Me (Bucky X Fem!Reader)     |     *PREQUEL* [Part 2]     |     Part 3 *Sequel Warnings: Needles, stabbing, blood, death Request: … reader joined the avengers before Bucky. He sees her as sweet, shy and innocent but during missions she’s a complete psycho? After missions its like nothing happened. So he asks Steve about it and he says she’s like that cause before missions they take her off her meds that keep her in check. If she doesn’t have them she’s kinda over the top angry.

Hidden Art (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Request: ... reader is a shy recruit at the Avengers and she doesn’t really talk to anyone and didn’t let anyone in her room, and one day someone walked to her room and found out that she was very good at art ...

Joining The Team Pt 1 (Avengers X Reader)     |     Part 2     |     Part 3     |     Part 4     |     Part 5 ~Finale Warnings: Blood, Violence, torture Request: ... Avengers x reader fic, really angsty ...

Compromised (Neal Caffrey X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Nat kills someone, violence Request: ... Neal Caffrey (reader’s boyfriend) finds out she’s an Avenger, and the Avengers find out she has a boyfriend? Mozzie is protective of Neal and Nat and Bucky are protective of reader and try to scare Neal into backing off?

I’ll Kill Him (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: Mentions of Domestic abuse. Request: Reader is the Avenger’s assistant and like a little sister to them, and one day she doesn’t come into work and Bucky goes to her house to make sure she’s OK and finds out she’s in an abusive relationship and helps her.

Where’s Nat? (Avengers X Teen!Reader) Warnings: Blood. Looooots of blood. Request: teen reader has period and goes to avengers for help but Nat isn’t home – Tony is her uncle!

Not alone (Avengers X Reader) SERIOUS WARNING: SELF HARM MENTIONS. Other warnings: Getting shot. Request: Avengers see Reader’s self harm scars and confront her

Overprotective much? (Avengers X Fem!Reader) Warnings: One swear word, threatening, flirting, drinking and attempted murder by an overprotective brother. Request: ... reader is Tony´s sister and she is really beautiful (thats why Tony won´t introduce her) and the avengers are surprised and start bothering Tony and he gots really jealous and protective ...

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Falling Ch. 8

Master List: @afewmarvelousthoughtsadmin

Pairing: Bucky X Reader [and a few more to come]

Summary: For a moment you had something good, something wonderful. But moments pass. Now, left with nothing but the ashes of a life and a love you fought so hard for, you find yourself in a free fall. Who will you be once you hit the bottom? [Sequel to Only For A Moment but can be read independently.]

Warnings: Loss, grief, drug/alcohol abuse, violence

A/N: I don’t have words for this one but like... yeah...

TAGS ARE OPEN

Months passed. Your rage did not. 

And you didn’t want it to. 

Anger was simple, singular. It didn’t tear at you like your grief. 

So you fed it. Letting it blot out the pain of one year without his touch, or his smile, or his laugh. 

Pain was useless. Anger was a tool. 

Rocket often found jobs for you all that mostly harmed the powerful and, when possible, helped those who needed it. You weren’t sure if this Robin Hood-ing was intentional but you didn’t question it, knowing the person on the receiving end deserved what they got, justified your brutality.

That brutality got results. And, subsequently, was gaining you a fast reputation. 

It started before your brief stay back on earth. Rocket’s crew apparently had a fair amount of recognition, and it wasn’t missed that most were gone, replaced with some human--even though most had doubts due to your abilities--and Thanos’ sadistic daughter. Now you were challenging Nebula’s title for ‘most vicious woman in the galaxy.’ 

You didn’t mind and neither did your shipmates. This was the kind of rep that served up bigger paydays. And the side steps and cautious glances felt good, it felt like protection for you and those you loved. 

As good as it felt, it wasn’t enough. None of it was. 

The truth of it was that all the fighting and fucking and drugs and drink in the universe wouldn’t be enough to sate the hunger in you. You could swallow it all whole and it wouldn’t fill the void. 

But you’d promised Bucky that you’d keep going. So that’s what you were doing. 

At the present moment, the only place you should be going was to a medic. 

The Kelozyn woman grinned at you, her leonine features gleaming with sweat. Her tongue ran across her sharp front teeth and you wondered if her species preferred living prey. 

“Getting tired, Terran?!” She goads, circling you. 

Getting. Tired was a state of being. You spit blood onto the ground, your breath billowing in the cold Contraxian air. 

As you assess her, you do a little math. If you lost this one, or forfeited like you probably should, you’d be out most of your cut from the last job plus some. Tack on the medic fees and, well, thankfully you didn’t have to pay rent on the Benatar. 

She charges you and all thoughts of forfeit flee your mind as adrenaline and anger take their place. 

For a moment, there is only this. Nothing exists outside the sound of your breath, your heart beating in your ears, the blood and sweat on your tongue. There is no room for thoughts that don’t pertain to your next move, to reading your opponents body language. Just this. 

Her mistake was assuming you were beaten down by four other rounds, ready to give up. Her mistake was assuming you were weak. 

A missed swing opens her up to a dislocated shoulder. The pain distracts her enough for you to land a kick to her knee. As soon as she rights herself, her attempt to attack gives you the leverage you need to toss her over your head. 

She lands flat on her back, wheezing and disoriented. 

You place a boot on her neck, her one useful arm scrabbling at your ankle. 

“Yield,” you huff. 

She does and the crowd roars. 

This is why you did this. Not the crowd, or the money. No matter if it was a job or in the ring or in a back alley, you did it for the victory. The reminder that you could win, that you had the strength and ability to protect what little you had left. 

It wasn’t enough. But it was something. 

Someone presses a bottle in your hand and you drink, not bothering to check what it was. The cheap liquor tastes like bad bourbon but it does ease the throb in your bruised ribs just a bit. 

The announcer bellows at the crowd, already trying to find another challenger and elicit more bets from those eager to burn through their credits on a little blood shed. 

But you’re done. As you make your way to cash out someone steps into the ring. 

She ties her blonde hair up into a ponytail as she announces, “I’ll have a go.” 

Carol saunters up to you in a white tank and tactical pants, almost identical to your own though notable missing smears of dirt and blood, and plucks the bottle from your hand, taking a deep drink. 

The announcer practically vibrates with glee, “Do we think she knows what she’s in for folks!?” 

“This hardly seems fair, Danvers,” you take your bottle back. 

She grins, “When I win I’ll buy you a drink.” 

“You’ll buy me at least two,” you finish the bottle, tossing it back into the crowd. 

It took all of five minutes for her to have you pinned. 

The disappointed crowd groaned. 

“Well, well, looks like Lady Death’s own gatherer met her match tonight!” The announcer bellows. You’d been called many things but that was a new one.  

Carol extends a hand and pulls you up, “Meet at the bar?”

“Sure,” you grumble. Slinging your pack over your shoulder you can already feel just how much you’re going to regret this in a few hours. 

“On the house,” the bartender sets a mug full of something frothy in front of you. You nod in thanks, finishing half in two deep gulps.

Carol gives your back a firm pat as she sidles up beside you. You grimace, the bruise left from the hard kick you’d taken between your shoulder blades in the first fight already screaming.  

“Sorry,” she says, taking the seat next to you. “Thought I was buying?”

“On the house,” you say, taking another drink. “Considering the money I made them tonight it’s the least they can do.” Not that it made up for the loss. 

Carol plunks down a stack of credits next to you, the little silvery cards glinting in the dim light. You cast her a sideways glance, finishing your drink. 

“It was a little unfair,” she says with a smile. 

“Mhm,” you pick them up counting. “Still took a cut though,” you say with mock seriousness. 

“Hey, I did win,” she nudges your shoulder. 

“You know,” you tuck the credits into your pocket, “we could probably run a pretty good hustle.” 

“Not my style,” she flags the bartender who plops two more mugs before you both. 

“Do all captains hate fun?” 

She smirks as she takes a drink, “Has nothing to do with that. I just don’t need to hustle when I know I’ll win.” 

“Cocky,” you start on your second drink. 

“Is it cocky if I’m right?”

“Fair,” you laugh a little, holding your throbbing side.

She downs the rest of her drink and looks around, “Can we go somewhere slightly less…”

“Covered in sweat and blood?”

“Yeah.”

You shrug, “This is Contraxia. I feel like it’s either sweat and blood or sweat and-”

“I got a room, if we’d rather-” 

“Cute, you think that’s better.”

“Just like any hotel, I’d prefer not to think about it.” You can’t help but laugh again, ignoring the pain. 

“Something away from the teeming masses sounds good.”

“And the drinks are better,” Carol says. 

“I’ll hold you to that.”

Outside, the frigid air stung your skin but it felt refreshing, a bit cleaner than the cold air of the bar. You shrug on your black coat, shoving your freezing hands into your pockets. Carol still wore only her tank, the bag with her uniform slung loosely over her shoulder. 

“Do you ever get cold?” You ask as your breath plumes. 

“Not really,” her skin pulses with a warm glow.  

Carol opens the door to one of the nicer hotels and you step inside. The entry was warm, and didn’t carry any questionable smells. Even the elevator you step into seemed relatively clean. 

She catches your questioning gaze, “Owner owes me a favor.” 

Just like on earth, being a hero didn’t exactly pay the bills. But almost everywhere you went, Carol--or rather Captain Marvel--knew someone and that someone likely owed her their life. May not be as reliable as having cash on hand but it wasn’t a bad way to get around. 

The wall of windows that greeted you when the elevator spit you out into her penthouse suite looked out over the glowing neon mess of Contraxia and the icy mountains beyond. From here the city looked like a bizarre, debaucherous, snowglobe. 

“As promised,” Carol holds out a glass of shimmering blue liquid. You drop your bag by your feet and accept it.

Whatever it was danced over your tongue, fizzing without being carbonated. The taste was floral, but not sweet, and had a tang to it that reminded you of something you couldn’t name. Best of all, it was strong. Warmth spread through your limbs as the constant humm of your power fell completely silent. 

You both finish your drinks in silence, soaking in both the view and the peace. 

Finally you ask, “Did you catch what the announcer called me?” 

“The Lady Death thing?” She grabs your glass for a refill as you carefully lower your throbbing body onto the couch. 

“Yeah.” 

She takes a seat across from you, “You’ve been running out here for almost a year and you haven’t heard of Lady Death yet?” 

You had. Death on most planets was personified as a woman with many cultures worshiping her or at the very least honoring her in some way. 

“Of course,.” you take a drink. “The whole gatherer thing though…” 

“Ah,” she rests her feet on the small circular table in front of her. “It’s like, someone or something that sends people to death but isn’t exactly death itself.” A chill crawls down your spine, chasing away the warmth of the drink.

“So, like a reaper,” the word, the title Hydra blessed you with, tastes bitter on your tongue. 

“Yeah,” Carol nods. “Pretty close.”

You finish your drink in one gulp and rise, “Thanks for the drinks.” Holding out your hand, your bag flies from across the room to you. 

“What? You’re leaving?” She stands, placing herself between you and the door. “I mean it’s not a pleasant comparison but you’ve been on a bit of a tear. Don’t let it ruin your night.”

“It’s not.” 

She crosses her arms over her chest, looking you up and down. “At least take a long bath, you’re still bloody and your body-”

“I’m fine.”

“Y/N,” Carol grabs your arm as you walk past her. 

Anger flares in your chest as you look from her hold on you to her concerned gaze. Whatever that anger translated to in your own expression was enough to make her release you, stepping back. 

“Maybe, you should take some shore leave. Go home for a bit. Give folks out here time to cool off and they’ll stop thinking of you as-”

Your eyes narrow, “Why do you care?” Her head tilts to the side in a wordless question. “Why do you care what they call me?” 

“Why don’t you?” 

“Because, they aren’t wrong.” It felt like the truest thing you’d said in a long time. 

Out here among planets you’d never imagined existing you’d allowed the beast that had always been inside you to come out to play. It bared it’s bloody fangs and the people saw you for what you were, understood it’s true name.

Reaper. 

Hydra had simply tried to bring out something that was already there. But they’d done it for their own gain. This time you’d take the title, in all it’s bloody glory, and it would be your own. 

You walk past Carol, reaching for the door. 

“Y/N.”

You pause. It’s long enough for Carol to block your exit. 

“Come on,” she slips a finger under the strap of your bag, teasing it off your shoulder, “don’t leave.”  She closes the small distance between you, close enough now that you could feel the ever-present warmth of her. “At least take a shower.”

When you don’t respond, she leans in, lips almost brushing the shell of your ear, “Stay.” 

In a flash your hand wraps around her throat, pushing her into the door with a hard thud. Light flares briefly in her deep brown eyes as a wicked little grin plays on her lips. 

You press your body flush to hers, forcing her thighs apart with your own. 

The pink tip of her tongue darts over her bottom lip, teasing you, daring you. Taking the bait is too easy. 

To call this kiss hungry wouldn’t be right. Hunger implied a level of desire you struggled to tap into these days for most things. No, this kiss was a vicious, gluttonous, thing. Something to have because it was presented. 

Your tongue rolls over hers, your teeth grab her bottom lip and tug. 

Carol returns your fervor, grinding against your knee. 

There was no pretense here. Both of you knew there was someone else you'd rather touch, a different kiss that would truly satisfy. But you wouldn’t starve yourselves for the sake of your longing. 

Holding her in place by her throat you pull away, “Rain check.” You lean in and flick your tongue over her open lips. 

“Please tell me you’re joking,” she pants as you release her. 

“Nope,” your bag floats up to your hand. 

She doesn’t fight you as you push her aside and step out, leaving her slack jawed and frustrated. 

You’d make it up to her. For now though, all you wanted, the only thing you hungered for, was to be alone. 

-

A few weeks later you come to consciousness in the dank lower levels of an abandoned building, your ears ring, vision blurring in and out of focus. Sticky blood coated the side of your head, it felt cool as rivulets ran down your cheek.

This job was supposed to be stupid easy. Too good to be true, easy. Now it was pretty clear that the old cliche applied even on some far flung piece of shit planet. 

After blinking away the fog, you make out the blaster leveled at Rocket. Fear and relief flood his features as he realizes that you were not, in fact, dead. 

The telltale humm of the weapon is the first sound that breaks through the pounding in your head. 

No. You would not lose one more friend. 

Without you having to fully form the thought, your power latches onto the woman before Rocket--not abnormal since your fight against Thanos, since you tried to save Bucky. It sinks into her unfamiliar anatomy, seeking something to break. You don’t care if you kill her or only manage to incapacitate her, all that matters is that you stop her. 

A jolt runs through your body, electric, intoxicating… 

Hungry. 

You’d lived with the hunger the stones left in you for over a year now. Had gotten used to it. Most days you even forgot about it. Now that hunger howled to be slaked. 

The woman shudders, blaster slipping from her hand. Rather, it slips from the place where her hand had been. 

Understanding comes too late. You feel the fabric of her unravelling, those points of light and energy snuffing out bit by bit. 

Just like Bucky. 

And you cannot stop it.  

No, that wasn’t right. 

This was not like Bucky--not some force beyond your control tearing someone away from you--this was somehow yours, and you didn’t want to stop it. Something in you wanted this, yearned for it in the far recesses of your being. 

Darkness deeper than any shadow seeps from widening cracks in her body like smoke, billowing from the space where her hand once was. Merciless black tendrils curl around her, consuming her until there is nothing left but a ringing in your ears and a brief moment of utter calm.  

The sound of Rocket’s ragged breathing fills the room, echoing around you. In the pause between his breaths you almost swear something whispered. 

Again and again you think you hear it, don’t quite catch it. Something in the silence, in the dark. 

Oblivion. 

Rocket’s breath. 

Oblivion. 

Panic--mad, wild, terrible panic--threatens to blot out whatever sense or sanity remained in your mind as you sit paralyzed, unable to ignore the sound. You’d thought the word in a dream, heard it back on earth when your power ate away at a bottle of liquor, that same dark nothingness hovering around the broken glass. 

Your conversation with Carol returns. How you’d thought people simply saw the monster in you. How you thought it was a monster you understood, one you could name and tame and use for your own gain. 

Idiot, you chastise yourself. 

“Are the two of you taking a nap?!” Nebula bellows on your comms. The anger in her tone pulls you back from the edge you felt your mind toeing. 

You meet Rocket’s wide eyes for a breath before he nods, a kind of calm you envied descending over him. 

“Got held up,” he responds. “Where are you?”

As soon as you’re back on the ship you head straight for your room without a word to the others.

Out of habit you reach for the bottle by your bed and pause before bringing the mouth to your lips. 

There was no need. No tremor in your hand. No pain in your body or your mind. Your power, the aching want the stones left in you, the physical impact of the fight… All of it was silent. 

This was distinctly different from the times you’d brushed against that vast nothing, that oblivion. Those times had left you a little sated, the constant storm in you soothed, even if only for a few moments. 

This was not that. 

Because there was something else missing. 

Your grief. 

A chill crawls up your spine, spreading gooseflesh over your body. The utter wrongness of everything turning your stomach. You set the bottle down with a shaky hand.  

No matter how good it felt to not ache for him, you didn’t want it to end. The ache mattered, meant there was something worth losing. 

“Bucky,”  you whisper his name like a prayer. “James.” The taste of his name on your tongue brings back a tickle of the familiar ghost of your mourning. 

“Bucky, I’m scared.” Saying it felt like letting out a breath held for too long. 

It was as though that confession was some secret code. Bit by bit you feel it all come back, the pain and sorrow, your fear and longing, the unyielding hunger and storm rooted in your power. 

From under your pillow you pull out the shirt you keep tucked there, one of Bucky’s. It still retained the barest trace of his smell. 

Pressing it to your nose you curl into the fetal position on the bed. 

You were upholding your end of the deal, you were still going on as he’d requested. You just weren’t sure where the road you were on was leading… 

Or what it would cost.

TAGS

@bluegirlusa1 @l0kisbitch @tazzi-baby  @woodyandbuzz20-01 @mooniightbucky @saundrasays @breezy1415  @alyssaj23  @mywinterwolf @wonderlandmind4 @anamcg317 @buckaroo-barnes @jazztherebel​ @peachthatdrinkslemonade @regulusirius @auskitty @babyimp1967 @katecolleen @handplucked @darkdragonphoenix @issanitydead @thestorydetective @buckysstar    @greyeyedsmile14  @watchoutforfrostbite  @for-the-love-of-the-fandom   @siriuslycloudy2   @jdoenson  @gamorazenn  @wildmoonflower  @cutie1365  @demonlover87  @winterboobearsworld  @this-kitten-is-smitten  @amorluzymelodia @nutellakirb @nighttwingg @coffeebeforewater @shesalatesh @maniacproffesor

[ad1thi]

2020 fic recs!! [Part 1]

this idea was stolen from @iam93percentstardust cuz i just,,,thought that this year was absolute shit and it would be nice to make a fic rec list of fics from this year that helped me through it. this will be over a range of fandoms and ships, but all fics were written this year. 

fics are ordered by the month they were published. ive tried to keep to five fics per month, but this is not obviously all the fics ive read that month - i just didn’t want to make this insanely long. 

im releasing the first half of this on the 1st of December, and the second half on the 1st of January 2021 - because otherwise it would just get so long (and also so i will actually have fics for December)

happy reading!! hopefully you find fics on this you haven’t read yet

***

January

The cat is mighty dignified (until the dog comes by): @five-wow

Steve and Danny find them on the pillow in the corner of the dining area, where Eddie is on his side, ass half on the floor because the pillow is more cat-sized than lab-sized, and Pickles is nestled between Eddie’s front legs, essentially being spooned and looking very I-got-the-cream about it. Pickles’ head is tucked into the crook of Eddie’s neck and Eddie’s head slots perfectly on top of Mr. Pickles’, like a furry jigsaw puzzle.

“They’re cuddling,” Steve points out, unnecessarily.

Or: There is a love story unfolding under the McGarrett roof.

Captain ‘Socialist Rage Muffin’ America: @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah

It takes three months of dating Steve Rogers for Tony to understand why Aunt Peggy once shot at him in sheer frustration.

Alternately titled, Honey, I committed treason again.

The Best Laid Plans (Of Mice and Men): @arboreal-elm-ash-oak

His Dark Materials AU

It was Annalise who noticed their small visitor first.

“Tony,” the spider daemon said softly, skittering up the collar of his dress shirt, two of her eight legs resting delicately against his cheek, “Don’t startle them, but I believe we have a guest. Look, by the coffee table.”

Fourteen Million to One: @tunastorks

Six months after Thanos, six months after Tony’s death, six months after Steve returns to his own timeline, Tony Stark turns up on their doorstep.

Brewed Awakening: @iam93percentstardust

Two years after he comes out of the ice, Steve is drifting through life. On his teammate's recommendation, he decides to go back to school where he meets the grandson of an old friend. He finds happiness with Tony but Steve won't be in Boston forever and someone is out to hurt the Starks. Will Steve and Tony be able to reach their happily ever after?

February

the young, the reckless and the foolish: @bruciewayne

In most universes, they don't know each other, not in the slightest, or they hate each other, in a way that's perfectly logical for anyone who were to find themselves in a similar situation.

In this one, they've known each other since they were four years old and naively idealistic.

This is them over the years, against the odds.

a giant sign: @areiton

“Think you can get him to open the weapons division up again?” his CO asks, his voice hungry and Rhodey laughs because this--

“No. Tony hung up his weapons.”

“That’s not what the suit says,” his CO objects, and Rhodey shrugs.

Tony has always had rules, rules he expects the entire world to live by.

And then there was Rhodey, slipping under them.

my heart is driftwood, floating down your coast: @nethandrake

Tonight, there’s a stranger in his backseat. That’s not unusual.

He’s also sad. That’s not unusual either.

What is unusual is that the stranger is silent.

(One night, a stranger enters Steve's taxi. Nothing is the same again.)

Just A Cold: @/delighted 

There’s a new text waiting for him. It’s from Steve of course, and it’s vaguely threatening as most messages from Steve are these days. Still Danny ignores it, and now he’s really playing with fire. Maybe it’ll burn the cold out of him.

Or, Danny’s sick, and Steve can’t stay away. The usual comfort fluff. With a little cameo from a gently meddling Grace.

An Unexpected Guide: @/Rachel500

Danny Williams has hidden his Guide status to keep being a detective, but his time of hiding is up when he unexpectedly finds his Sentinel, Steve McGarrett in the midst of a tragedy.

March

Why don’t we (Collide the spaces that divide us): @five-wow

When they finally catch sight of each other again through the milling crowds, they’re both a little worse for wear. Danny’s left side is covered in glitter and every time he brushes a hand over his hair, more blue and purple confetti rains down. Steve is- Well, Steve is randomly shirtless, which is all things considered not excessively remarkable, but he’s also covered in smudges of colorful paint and has a very nicely printed bloodred lipstick kiss mark on his cheek.

“What did you do?” Danny asks, because it looks like Steve had a lot more fun than he did.

Or: Steve and Danny accidentally end up in the middle of something entirely new.

A Little Unsteady: @finduilasclln 

Written for the Tumblr prompt meme : "Hey! I was gonna eat that!"

Tony lashes out at Bucky for eating his dessert. Only, it really isn't about the dessert.

a national treasure: @starklysteve

Steve isn't looking for an apple and Tony decides his passion is to inspire young souls. -x- OR: the AU where Tony is a Youtuber and Steve is Captain America and somehow they still save the world together.

April

cycle through: @ambivalentmarvel

Twenty-five years ago, Tony Stark disappeared from his family home a month after the tragic deaths of his parents, Howard and Maria Stark, leaving a billion-dollar tech conglomerate without an heir and the world wondering what happened.

Twenty-three years ago, HYDRA gained another super soldier.

Ten years ago, Peter Parker’s parents died in what is ruled as a home invasion gone wrong but he knows was murder, plain and simple, because he spoke to the killer.

And in the present, Project Insight fails, and the Iron Soldier pays the price.

FOREVER-LOVE YOU-I: @/Eudoxia

Tony Stark is twenty-one when he loses his voice. It shouldn't matter, but in a world where the first words your Soulmate says to you are marked on your skin, it can be pretty damn annoying.

Especially for Tony's soulmate.

--

Companion piece to my fic Thumb, Index, and Pinky Extended. This is Steve's POV, with a few extra scenes, as a treat.

(Edit: Sorry if you guys get multiple notifications for this. I just realized (about two hours after posting it) that I fucked up the grammar in the title and I HAD to fix it. YOLO, I guess.)

come build a home out of me: @maguna-stxrk

Steve clears his throat.

“What if I went with you?” he asks nonchalantly, like his heart isn’t threatening to beat out of his ribcage.

Tony blinks a few times, looking at Steve, his mouth ajar. “As a— As my date?”

“Yeah.” Steve nods, feeling a little breathless.

“You don’t mind?” Tony furrows his eyebrows.

“I don’t. In fact, you can just tell them I’m your boyfriend. I’m sure they’ll back off, wouldn’t they?”

What.

“I— Huh?” Tony stares at him, brown eyes blown wide open.

What. What. What.

“Huh? Uh, I mean— You know, that way people will see that you have definitely moved on. Monica will see that you have moved on. Right?” Steve smiles, hoping that it masks his inner panic, because what?

Steve Rogers, what have you done?

i don’t have a choice (but i’d still choose you): @nethandrake

There’s a name inked onto his chest, a name written in an all-too familiar scrawl. And it’s— It’s—

Steve doesn’t realize his body is quaking until he’s tracing the tattoo with a shaky finger.

Because of course that is the name etched into the skin. Like a brand, a reminder for everything he has done. An appropriate retribution.

Anthony Edward Stark.

(When Thanos snaps half of the universe away, he unknowingly leaves the other half with soulmarks.)

ua haʻalele ʻoe iaʻu (a ua hoʻomālamalama ʻoe iaʻu): @just-fandomthings

"The truth is, I was shot in the chest and nearly died, and not even three days after I was released from the hospital, you up and left-- and of those two, I'm not sure which one hurt me worse!"

(Coda to 10x22 because come on, we all need a better ending than the one given to us.)

Title loosely translates to: "You left me in the dark (you lit me up)" -- inspired by the brilliant song "Say You Won't Let Go" by James Arthur

May

A Piece Of The Past: @hddnone

It had been so many years since Bucky had gone undercover in the Stark family's mob, he thought he'd gotten away clean.

Then Tony Stark slid into the seat across from him at his breakfast diner, and Bucky's boss has a new case for him.

the privilege of loving you: @starklysteve

“Why won’t you let me touch you?”

It’s a desperate plea, half-shouted and half-whispered, Steve’s voice cracking at the end. Tony stops in his tracks, halfway to the stairs. He doesn’t dare to turn back, and he really doesn’t want to fight, or to leave, to spend the last month of his life away from his husband and their son. But Steve can’t know, can he?

-x-

Or: Tony has palladium poisoning, but he doesn't tell Steve and Peter

your pillow feels so soft now (but still you must advance): @firebrands

When Bruce is 13, he decides to go to boarding school. It's an opportunity for him to learn about other people, and how to interact with them.

Bruce has the misfortune of meeting Tony Stark upon his arrival in Roxbury. Bruce is moving into his room, and Tony opens the door of his room to watch. He looks a bit younger than Bruce, hair wild and eyes bright. Bruce has never seen a boy like him before—handsome and confident.

Bruce doesn’t like it.

IMPORTANT: This fic has them meeting at 14, then progresses slowly until they’re 17. Includes underage drinking and kissing.

This is set before Bruce becomes Batman and Tony becomes Iron Man and I have no explanation as to how or why they just DO Canonically, Bruce is 17 when he finishes school and goes around the world to train, so we're sticking with that

The Real MVP: @sword-and-stars (part of a series)

[“I have saved this Tuesday!” Sokka announces, rattling the bag upon reentry.

Zuko doesn’t even look up from his phone as he deadpans, “It’s Thursday.”

Okay, so Sokka is still having trouble getting his days right without checking. At least he’s gone back to sleeping at night! Going to bed at night is way easier when you have a cute, cuddly boyfriend who starts falling asleep around eleven o’clock. It also helps that he and Zuko are on solid gold butt-touching terms.

It’s been a while since Sokka has been on butt-touching terms with someone and it’s amazing.]

Or,

Sokka knows a guy, gets laid, and introduces Zuko to the merits of an afternoon delight.

When is a bed not a bed? (When you’re not in it): @riotwritesthings

There’s a tiny safe house, with one tiny window and one tiny couch.

And one tiny little bed.

June

Nice Fingers: @anthonyed

A single compliment given by Tony stirs Bucky restless until he caves in and asks him out on a date.

With Steve’s help of course (whether he likes it or not).

The Darkest Touch: @starkrogerrs

This is the story of how Steve finds that it has been ordained that he is to marry a monster he cannot resist aka the God of Love himself, Tony.

It's Cupid x Psyche retold, but with thrice the amount of porn.

The Night Shift:  @weethreequarter

Welcome to the Emergency Department of San Antonio General where Dr. Tony Stark joins the team fresh from his most recent tour in Afghanistan and - much to the consternation of the other staff - strikes up an instant rapport with Nurse Steve Rogers. Meanwhile, new resident Bruce Banner refuses to give up on his patient, and Dr. Sharon Carter learns something from her own patients. Throw in a pissed off hospital administrator, Clint using the coffee pot as a mug again, and a major car crash and you have, well, just another night shift.

Wind Beneath My Wings: @iam93percentstardust

Sam first meets Tony Stark in 2005 when he joins the EXO-7 Falcon program.

In jest: @/apathyinreverie

“No, babe,” Danny shakes his head with a grin. “If the apocalypse were to go down while I’m elsewhere for some godforsaken reason, then you stay put and I’m coming to wherever you are.” His grin widens. “And I expect you to have cleared any aliens or zombies or whatever else might be messing with us off the island and to have set up a nice, comfortable military dictatorship for us to rule over by the time I get back.”

It’s a joke.

Of course it’s a joke.

Until it isn’t.

(A the-day-after-tomorrow-style apocalypse AU, where the world decides to end right when Danny is visiting one of the other islands with Grace. Because, of course, it does.)

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Non-Sequential [Ch. 27]

Pairing: Pre-Serum Steve Rogers/Steve Rogers x Reader

One night, Steve Rogers met a beautiful dame named Y/N. He hadn’t intended on letting her get away. But fate had other ideas. Y/N appeared and disappeared in his life so hauntingly that Steve started to wonder if she was an angel meant to watch over him.

Word Count: 3,200

Chapter 26

Y/N shot up in bed when her Kimoyo beads lit up and alerted her of an incoming call.

It was the middle of the night and she had been fast asleep.

When she tapped one of the beads, a hologram of Steve popped up.

“Steve?” She asked as she sat up and rubbed her eyes awake.

“I’m sorry to wake you,” he said softly.

“It’s fine. Is everything OK?” She asked.

Steve sighed. “Vision and Wanda were attacked in Edinburgh.”

Y/N was fully awake now. “Attacked?”

“By…By aliens,” Steve added.

She froze. It sounded like a joke. But the look on Steve’s face was nothing but serious.

“Is everyone OK?”

Steve glanced down. “Vision’s hurt. It’s not good. Wanda’s a little beat up, but fine. Nat and Sam are OK.”

“And what about you?” She challenged.

“I’m fine,” he answered too quickly.

Y/N waited for him to continue.

“We’re on the quinjet now.” Then he hesitated. “Headed to the compound.” He sighed again. “Y/N…there was an attack in New York City. Tony’s missing. He was last seen boarding the spaceship that landed. And that’s the last anyone’s heard of him.”

Y/N suddenly realized why Steve was calling her. Something bad was about to happen. And neither of them believed they were going to see each other before it all went down.

“What if they arrest you?” Y/N thought aloud.

But Steve was already shaking his head at the question. “They know they need us. We’re about to be under attack. They’ve already lost Tony. Earth needs as much help as it can get.”

“What do they want?” She asked numbly.

“Vision. They want the mind stone.” Steve’s jaw clenched. “We’re taking him to the compound to see if we can remove it and still keep him alive.”

Y/N knew none of this was good. Tony was missing, Vision’s life was at stake, and aliens, they knew nothing about, were about to reign hell on the entire planet if they didn’t get what they wanted.

It was all above Y/N. She may have had an enhancement, but she was never a superhero. She didn’t come from a military background or the intelligence community. She only knew about the secrets of the universe from her relationship with Steve.

“Steve,” she whispered, “are you coming back?”

It was the question Steve was scared to answer.

“I-I don’t know, Y/N.”

She was about to open her mouth, say her goodbyes and tell him how much she loved him. Everything that needed to be said before they went into the unknown.

But Steve cut her off before she could do it. “I’ll call you soon,” he urged in his captain voice.

Except Y/N stayed quiet and looked unsure.

“Y/N,” his tone was stern. “Look at me.”

She did.

“I will call you soon. OK?”

She nodded.

Then the call ended and Y/N’s bedroom was filled with darkness once again.

————

Bucky woke up to the sound of someone pounding on his door.

“Bucky! Bucky, wake up!”

He shot out of bed as he immediately recognized Y/N’s voice.

The two of them hadn’t spoken since he went to her room and confessed everything.

But none of that mattered when he could clearly hear the panic in her voice.

He opened the door to Y/N’s wide eyes and heavy breathing. He looked past her shoulder to see that both of her guards were watching her with slight concern, proving that they didn’t know any more than he did of what was going on. They had just blindly followed her here and asked no questions. 

“What’s going on?” He asked her.

“I need you to teach me how to shoot a gun,” Y/N said as she struggled to catch her breath.

His eyes furrowed. “What?”

“I’m never going to be as good as I need to be at hand-to-hand combat. So…I need you to show me how to shoot a gun.”

“Y/N, it’s the middle of night. What the hell is going on?”

“Something’s coming. I don’t–I don’t know.” Then her bottom lip started trembling. “I just…I’m sick of being useless. I’m not going to stay here and hide when everyone else is fighting.”

Then she was crying. She was quickly becoming hysterical.

Without even thinking, Bucky pulled her shaking body towards him with his one arm.

“Shhh, kid. It’s OK. It’s OK.” He rubbed her back. “Can you take a deep breath? Can you do that for me?”

It took a bit of coaxing, but Y/N was finally able to do what he asked.

Bucky ignored the guards as he tried to calm her down.

He pulled away to look at her. “Now, tell me what’s going on? What’s gotten you so upset?” He pushed some hair off her face that got stuck to her skin thanks to the tears.

“It’s Thanos.” She finally whispered.

“Who the fuck is Thanos?”

After that, Bucky explained to Y/N’s guards that they were dismissed and he’d look after Y/N. 

30 minutes later, he had Y/N sitting in his kitchen with a blanket draped over her shoulders and a cup of tea in her grasp.

She looked so young and scared. The first time Bucky had met Y/N, long before he knew about her ability, she was as older than he’d ever known her. But now, she seemed so young and innocent.

Bucky was reminded that while Steve and Bucky had lived multiple lives that weaved in and out of time, Y/N was just in her first. She had dealt with and seen far more than any young woman her age should have. But with her ability, she never had a choice.  

Maybe that was why Bucky felt this draw to her, this sense of duty to protect her. But it was rather silly, wasn’t it? That’s what Steve already did. She didn’t need Bucky too.

Y/N had managed to explain to Bucky the call she’d just received from Steve.

It all made a bit more sense to him now.

“A war’s coming, Bucky,” Y/N muttered as her eyes held no focus, just staring off into the distance.

He didn’t say anything.

“And I can’t do anything to help,” she frowned. “I’m fucking useless.”

Bucky immediately leaned forward. “Hey,” his voice was stern, “That is not true.”

“They say I’m ‘enhanced,’ but my ability is useless. I can’t help anyone with it. I can’t even help myself. I wish I was like Wanda. Or even Natasha…she’s more normal than me and she can make a difference.”

“You think they only way to make a difference is to fight?” Bucky challenged.

“When it’s come to fighting a war, yes.”

He glared at her then. “And what about all the paramedics, the nurses, the doctors?” He sat up straighter. “Or the helpers?”

She squinted at him. “The helpers?”

“There’s always civilians – people just like you – who are helping. Look at any crisis and there’s people saving complete strangers.”

He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his face.

“People like Steve and the Avengers… they fight so people like you can be safe, so people like you don’t have to fight.”

“You’re saying you’re not one of those people?” She asked, not ignoring that Bucky didn’t include himself in any of that.

“I’m a wanted man,” Bucky pointed out.

“So is Steve,” Y/N immediately countered. “So are half of the Avengers.”

“That’s different and you know it, kid.” Bucky sighed. “And they wouldn’t be wanted if it wasn’t for me…”

Y/N’s Kimoyo beads glowed blue suddenly, signaling that she was getting an incoming call. There is no one else it could be besides Steve.

She instantly tapped at them just how Shuri had taught her.

Seconds later, Steve’s hologram lit up Bucky’s tiny hut.

“Steve! Are you OK?” Y/N instantly blurted out.

“I’m fine. Everyone’s the same,” he quickly told her.

She let out a sigh of relief and allowed herself to relax a little bit.

“I’ll be home in a few hours,” Steve added.

“You’re all…coming to Wakanda?” Y/N asked carefully.

“Shuri is the only person that can help Vision. There’s no other option.”

She nodded in understanding.

“Y/N, I’ve already talked to T’Challa. I’m sending you back to the States as soon as I get back.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Steve? I’m not going anywhere.”

Steve expected this reaction. “Y/N, think about what I just said. We’re bringing Vision back. That means we’re bringing the war right to Wakanda. We’re about to make the country the most dangerous place on the planet.”

“I don’t care. I’m not leaving. Not without you.” Something about her word choice made Steve suddenly go quiet.

“We’ll talk about it when I get there,” he told her quietly.

Y/N realized how tired he looked.

“I just wanted to call and check in,” Steve told her.

She didn’t argue with him further, but the look on her face proved that she wasn’t going to give up without a fight.

“I love you,” he told her.

Y/N’s eyes flickered to Bucky. But then quickly went back to the hologram.

“I love you, too.” Steve’s hologram collapsed.

————-

For the first time in awhile, Bucky didn’t keep his distance from Y/N. In fact, he was now doing the complete opposite as he stood on the landing pad of the palace.

Y/N had been fidgeting since they got there, waiting for the team to arrive.

Bucky could tell by the way she held her body and the shadows under her eyes that she didn’t sleep a wink last night.

He’d offered for her to stay and sleep at his place last night, after he finally calmed her down and talked things out with her.

But Y/N immediately declined.

Bucky guessed things were forever changed now that he had admitted his true feelings for her. It’s not like he didn’t expect repercussions for his confession, but it all happened so quickly. He wasn’t ready yet.

“Please don’t let him send me away.”

Bucky blinked.

Y/N had said it so quietly and quickly. It didn’t sound like her. Probably because it came from a place of pure desperation.

He quickly turned to look at her to make sure he wasn’t imagining things.

“Y/N, I don’t think – he’s not gonna listen to me,” Bucky told her gently.

When it came to Y/N and her safety, Bucky didn’t think Steve would listen to anyone. That’s what caused the couples grievances in the first place. Steve would always do what he thought was best for Y/N. It didn’t matter what Bucky, his best friend, had to say.

“He listens to you. Especially when it comes to me,” Y/N told him.

Bucky didn’t know how to respond to that. But it didn’t matter because the quinjet was now lowering to the platform.

Y/N and Bucky stood back, letting T’Challa formally greet the new guests of Wakanda.

It gave Y/N an opportunity to take everyone in. She hadn’t seen Bruce in forever. He looked the same. But he’d clearly been shaken up. Vision couldn’t even stand up straight and had his arm around Wanda, who was helping him off the jet.

As the team headed their way, Bucky stepped forward, but Y/N remained where she stood.

She watched as Bucky started talking to Steve.

Steve’s eyes flickered over Bucky’s shoulder at Y/N. It was the dead giveaway that they were talking about her.

In return, Y/N looked at the ground, not enjoying the feeling of being discussed without actually being a part of the conversation.

But her attention was quickly taken away when Sam and Nat came over to give her giant hugs. They hadn’t seen her since everything went down with the Accords. When Steve returned to Wakanda to be with her, he never brought the team with him.

“It’s good to see you,” Sam told her with a soft smile as he hugged her.

“Have you been training?” Nat asked as she looked her up and down, taking note of the new muscles that had grown on Y/N’s form.

Y/N shrugged. “A little bit.”

“If you’ll all follow me this way,” T’Challa interrupted, guiding the new guests to Shuri’s lab.

Y/N turned and watched them go.

“I’ll be there in a second,” Steve said from behind her.

When she turned to face him, he was standing right behind her. But Bucky was nowhere to be found.

“Hi,” Y/N spoke quietly.

He gave her a sad smile. “Hi.”

Before he could say anything more, Y/N threw herself into his arms. He instantly wrapped himself around her, like it would be enough to protect her from anything in the world. But they both knew that was impossible.

“I shouldn’t have talked about sending you away the way I did,” Steve quickly told her, whispering it into her hair. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

She pulled back to look at him, but stayed in his arms. “You can’t push me away every time there’s danger around, Steve.”

“I know. I know that now.”

“I’m staying here,” Y/N declared, just to make her point.

He nodded.

Whatever Bucky had said to Steve, Y/N had to thank him for it.

“Go on,” Y/N lightly shoved him away. “T’Challa and the team are waiting for you.”

Steve sighed. “I’ll come find you later.”

Y/N nodded.

————

An hour later, they landed.

The reactions could’ve been worse and more panicked.

Y/N didn’t know what to do as she watched guards and Dora Milaje calling out orders and rushing around the palace. She heard them say something about evacuating the city.

Her eyes raced from face to face, trying to find someone she knew to ask what was going on or what she could do to help.

Her panic started increasing as she failed to find anyone.

“Y/N! Y/N!” His voice called through the chaos.

Relief instantly washed over her as she turned around to find Steve walking toward her with such purpose that everyone stayed out of his way.

“Steve, what’s going on?” She asked. Y/N had seen the ships landing, had felt the vibration as one of them crashed into the protective forcefield.

“They’re here,” he explained.

Then she looked down to see that there was a contraption on each of his forearms.

Y/N’s eyes widened, quickly processing what was happening. “What are you doing?” She shot at him, her tone filled with accusation.

“We’re holding them off. Shuri needs time.”

“Steve, no–“

“Y/N, listen to me,” he cut her off and grabbed her shoulders. Next thing she knew, he was ushering her towards the platform again. “Once we leave, you’re going with the Queen Mother. You’ll be safe with her.”

Hovercrafts were on the platform now and warriors were rushing around them.

Y/N was still trying to process what was happening. She couldn’t focus on anything.

“Steve…” she breathed his name.

Y/N was going into shock.

“Hey, look at me,” he gently pulled her face away from all the chaos that surrounded them. And just like that, he was all she saw. “You’re going to be OK.”

Tears started spilling down her cheeks and she was shaking her head. “I’m not worried about me, Steve.”

He pulled her into him. It was a dangerous thing to do: he didn’t know if he’d be able to let go now.

“I love you, Y/N. Whatever happens, you know that, right?”

He felt her nod against him.

She pulled back, eyes still shedding tears. “I’ve always known that.”

Steve gave her a sad smile.

Then she pulled him into a kiss. It didn’t matter that they were surrounded by people. Nobody was paying them any attention.

It was a goodbye kiss. Steve could feel it. It was desperate. It was messy. But there was also an edge to Y/N. He felt emotions shifting off her that he didn’t quite understand.

There was no time to question it.

“Steve, I love you,” she gasped for air. “I love you so much.”

“I know,” he breathed, still holding her face close to his.

Then someone was calling his name.

“Y/N, I have to go now.” She nodded, but still didn’t drop her hold on him. “You have to let me go,” he whispered to her.

Y/N took in a deep breath and finally took a step back.

“I’ll be OK,” Steve told her as she started slowly walking backwards. He didn’t want to look away from her yet. He couldn’t.

But then he was finally immersed in the crowd of people preparing for battle. She’d lost him.

But then another thought occurred to her.

“Bucky!” She gasped.

Now her eyes were racing around her, trying to find him.

By some miracle, Y/N spotted him as he was about to board a hovercraft.

She jumped into a run, trying her best to avoid running into anyone. She slammed into a few shoulders, but she didn’t that stop her. 

“Bucky!” She called and he instantly turned at both his name and her voice.

Y/N was trying to catch her breath when she stopped in front of him. “Were you really going to leave without saying goodbye?” She accused.

Bucky at least looked a little guilty. “I’ve never been good at goodbyes, kid.”

“Can you promise me something?” She asked him slowly.

“Anything.”

“When this is all over, can we go back to how things used to be between us? I don’t want to hurt you. But I can’t – I don’t want you to keep pushing me away.”

He thought about it for a moment, but nodded his head. “I promise.”

Y/N wrapped him in a hug, burying her face in his neck.

“Don’t worry, kid. I’ll look after that punk,” Bucky breathed into her hair.

“I want you to look after yourself,” she countered.

“Barnes, we’re heading out,” Nat said from atop the hovercraft.

Y/N stepped back from him before she could do anything she regretted.

Bucky gave her a look that she couldn’t quite read.

Y/N wondered…if things were different, if Bucky wasn’t so worried about hurting the people around him, what would he say to her in this moment?

The wind rushed around Y/N as she watched the hovercrafts take off.

Besides the guards who were waiting to escort her to the secure location with the Queen Mother... Y/N was all alone.

The tears slid silently down her face now. She didn’t make a sound, just watched them all getting smaller and smaller as they got closer to the enemy.

Y/N already knew she wasn’t going to see them again.

-----------

Chapter 28

I did it! (don’t worry, this aint the last chapter. i’m not that lucky 😒)

[lokigodofaces]

list of variants/timelines i want to believe exist (and probably canonically do now)

this got long so i'm putting in a cut

a world where all of the events that happened in the Framework are real

bonus if the Framework world has their own version of the Framework that is like the real world in aos

Steve fell off the train, not Bucky. bc of the crap Zola did to Bucky, he survives in ice and well, and everything happens the same but Steve and Bucky's roles are reversed

Coulson doesn't bother to keep it a secret that he's alive, and the mcu is mainly just aos but with all the main characters as well (in other words, there's mainly good writing)

also in that world Steve and Bucky love Lola

Steve doesn't go back in time to live with Peggy

to all the people claiming aos isn't canon: Sylvie just made everything canon y'all. aos absolutely happened, and while i will argue that it happened in the main timeline, if you don't want to believe that it still happened in a timeline

Bucky didn't remember Steve soon enough, not until he killed Steve

Steve killed the Winter Soldier and didn't know who it was until he removed the mask

Hydra didn't hunt down Jiaying and by extent Daisy, so Daisy was raised by Jiaying and Cal who are not crazy bc they didn't have the same experiences they did in the main timeline

Thor never takes the others to Jotunheim, so Loki never learns he is Jotun

Fitz didn't survive almost drowning

Ward wasn't recruited by Garrett, but by literally any non-Hydra agent so he is a good guy

Coulson and May listened to the agent telling them to not send May in at Bahrain, heaven knows what happens there

the government gives the Avengers more than a week to go through the Accords, so they all get to the enhanced-people-have-to-wear-trackers, giant-underwater-prison, enhanced-operatives-can't-investigate-politicians, no-trial-for-enhanced, no-investigation-for-enhanced, etc sections so they all decide to not sign and just don't care what the government says

this is random, but i feel like Bucky as Ghost Rider would be a cool aesthetic.

the Avengers meet Robbie bc he keeps assassinating their targets bc they're targets of Ghost Rider's

Daisy dies instead of Lincoln

Daisy kills Lash before he can save her

Loki never "dies," so he is sent back to Asgardian prison after tdw

Radcliffe never reads the Darkhold, he just gave it to AIDA, so most of s4 doesn't happen

Dreykov comes after Natasha between Avengers and CACW, leading to the Avengers beating his *ss (like Yelena said, the god from space doesn't need an ibuprofen after a fight)

everything's the same but no Joss Whedon going on and on about Natasha not being able to have kids

whatever ship scenario you have is canon now

Loki gets all panicky after the Hulk beats him to a pulp, having now realized what he's done. Thor believes him, and this leads to Thanos being killed in 2012-13

Deadpool sits in the back of everything, shouting comments like "Yay! Superhero landing! But don't do that, it's bad for your knees!"

Peter Parker's parents never die

the Cavalry is an Avenger

Yondu brings Peter Quill to Ego, causing the universe's destruction

Gamora and Nebula get along their entire lives

Gamora and Nebula switch roles (Gamora becomes the cyborg, Nebula the guardian and Thanos's favorite daughter)

Heimdall actually bothers to look for Loki, seeing if they can find his body for a funeral, to find that he is being tortured by Thanos. Odin refuses to send anyone to save him, making Thor realize just how awful he is. Thor, Sif, and Warriors 3 go with the help of Heimdall to save Loki

Odin and Frigga are actually good parents, creating the most iconic trio ever

tw suicide for the next bullet point

Bucky commits suicide between TWS and CACW (Sebastian said in an interview once that Bucky was suicidal)

Loki keeps coming back as DB Cooper for fun or bc he keeps losing bets

the Eternals did interfere

the shrapnel kills Tony

this one thing i made about Mr Rogers adopting Loki

Robbie is part of the Avengers in 2012, but when he sees Loki he immediately says that Loki isn't the issue and goes off to fight Thanos single handedly (and wins)

for whatever reason Coulson and May do legally adopt all the Bus Kids

Hunter and Bobbi both go to break Fitz out of prison, and they stick around for the rest of the season

Fitz and Jemma never meet (saddest of sad days)

Loki for some reason is in FFH and he sees Mysterio's illusions and just laughs bc he's such an amateur

everything's the same, everyone's just obsessed with classical music and it's constantly playing so i get happy watching it

Asgardians are like the elves in LOTR (books, not the movies), so they're constantly singing and dancing and all

Loki is shown playing a Norse flute-like instrument (we know they exist, we've found them, they're different than your typical flute and we don't really know how they sound but i want Loki to be a flautist and no i'm not not projecting (note the double negative) and yes i headcanon Loki to be a flautist i don't care what anyone says)

everyone gets therapy

someone (Monica or Jimmy) hits Hayward on the head, knocking him out (the same way Gandalf knocked out Denethor in ROTK when Denethor told everyone to flee) and the rest of SWORD works with them because clearly Hayward has issues

Stephen commits to not texting and driving

somehow Luis becomes He Who Remains just for one timeline so the entire story is told like how he tells his flashbacks

Coulson doesn't help Fury and Carol escape

T'Challa does not survive and M'Baku becomes Black Panther

the suit in Iron Man 3 is not garbage the entire movie

Tony doesn't find a way to save himself in time

Ross dies in Incredible Hulk

Loki has a pet flerken he just always carries around

by the same logic, Bucky has a kitten he meets between TWS and CACW that he always carries around. said kitten attacks people when they attack Bucky

Bucky becomes Captain America instead of Sam

when Thor goes back to 2013 Asgard, he drags Loki with him back to 2023

Clint tests the time travel by going to Sokovia and drags Pietro back with him

Steve comes back an old man, but they use Bruce's attempt at time travel to turn him back into the 30 something Steve he was

literally anything happens other than Thanos killing Loki bc Loki only used knives when he isn't even tall enough to reach Thanos's neck

Sam and Bucky straight up kill Walker

Daisy never goes through terrigenesis

Loki somehow ends up a tutor for Daisy

Bucky joins the aos team after they find him on the run from Hydra

Bucky plays baritone saxophone bc bari saxes are awesome and it adds nothing to the plot but he spends at least half an hour in each movie playing bari sax

everything's the same but John Williams is the composer

S.H.I.E.L.D. uses GH-325 to revive a bunch of composers (Mozart, Dvorak, Beethoven, Bach, Bizet, Holst, y'know, all my guys) because they for whatever reason have their bodies because of some wack mission. and now they have a bunch of classical composers alive who insist on writing more music. and what are you going to do, tell Bach to stop composing?

by that same logic, someone working at the Guest House decides to steal Freddie Mercury's body so that they can revive him bc he just loves Queen that much

Thor realizes how awful Odin is and makes it his goal to get revenge for what Odin did to his little brother

Thor meets a bunch of Loki variants (most notably gator Loki) and just decides to stop questioning anything ever

Mobius teaches Loki how to ride a jet ski

Loki arrives at S.H.I.E.L.D. and informs everyone he wants to go to school and learn about politics and run for president and S.H.I.E.L.D. is like "okay whatever just don't tell anyone you're a literal god" but have no way to stop Loki from telling anyone

y'know the "shot heard 'round the world" thing from the Battle of Lexington (first battle in American revolution, if you don't know what it is, we have no clue who made the first shot & both sides were telling their troops to not fire. once that shot was fired the battle broke out)? yeah well that was Loki i'm pretty sure

Loki comes to Earth and becomes an Avenger and all but only ever introduces himself as DB Cooper. Thor doesn't ever come to Earth, so everyone just thinks DB Cooper found the secret to not age and just showed up to save people. he disappears for stretches of time & everyone stops being confused bc he was in hiding for decades of course no one's gonna find him (he is actually on Asgard)

[jaceyneedsabetterusername]

Superhero

Pairing: College!Peter x College!Reader

Summary: (Pretty much Infinity War but Peter is in college instead of high school) Peter comes back after the Snap to find that you not only survived, but gave birth to a daughter while he was gone.

Warnings: Mentions of drinking while pregnant, SPOILERS FOR INFINITY WAR/ ENDGAME

Word Count: 2819

__________________________________________

Five years. Five years ago, you finally felt like your life was coming together. You’d just turned 23 and gotten out of those awkward transitional years from high school to college. You’d gotten a fairly decent job while getting your degree. You’d met the love of your life, Peter Parker, in a Critical Thinking Through Argumentation and Debate course your freshman year of university. 

But then everything changed. 

“Y/N? Y/N, are you okay?” Peter’s frantic voice still rang fresh in your memory as if it were happening now. 

You stared at the New York skyline in terror, a large circular ship floating midair, “Yes- yes, I’m alright! Are you?” You asked, heart pounding. 

“Thank God,” He murmured. 

“Aliens?” You asked, already being familiar with his exploits as an Avenger. Knowing that it all existed was much different than feeling the imminent danger of it happening to you right now. 

You could almost hear him nod on the other end in confirmation, “Aliens.” 

“Dammit, Peter. Don’t do anything stupid!” You yelled through the phone, running your hands through your hair as explosions started ringing. It was silent on the other end of the line, “Peter? Peter?! I swear to God- Where are you?” You had to get to him. You had to make sure he was okay. 

“OH MY GOD IT’S MOVING! I think I’m going to space.” Peter sounded more excited than he should have for being blasted into space. 

“Peter Parker! Why are you going into space?” Even from where you stood, far outside of Manhattan out in Queens, you could see the ship slowly ascend back into the sky, “Are you on the ship?” Your voice suddenly lowered to barely above a whisper. 

There was a small pause, “I love you Y/N.” And then the line cut out. 

That was the last time you saw him. The last time you’d heard his voice, really heard his voice outside of videos or voicemails. That was five years ago when half of the known universe disappeared in what had come to be known as the Blip. You’d ended up hearing the true story about Thanos and the snap from Natasha when she learned that you’d remained. But nobody knew what had happened and nobody knew how to bring anyone back. 

That was also three months before you’d found out you were pregnant. You’d found out almost into your second trimester, which made you feel stupid for not putting the signs together sooner. But, in all honesty, you’d figured the missed periods and depression were from stress and depression throwing your body into a spiral. You’d lost almost everyone you loved. The world was thrown into disarray. 

But finally by month three, you’d bought a test just to rule out the slim possibility that you could have been pregnant (and by that point it would have been a miracle if you hadn’t miscarried from the amount of stress, lack of eating, and more than a healthy amount of alcohol some nights). Low and behold, though, it appeared that miracles did happen because six months later you gave birth to your beautiful, healthy daughter, Adelyn Astrid Parker. 

Most of your friends and family had been lost in the snap. You were on your own with the exception of when Natasha or Steve stopped by to make sure you were okay but they were both a million years away, agonizing over how to bring everyone back. You, on the other hand, were struggling just to survive and learn how to be a single mother, all while still dealing with your grief. 

But that was five years ago. 

Now, things had settled back into whatever normal could now be called. Schools had reopened, people started working again, there were weddings and birthdays and bar mitzvahs. You’d stayed in yours and Peter’s old apartment on the edge of Queens and had gotten an entry level job in your field that paid surprisingly well for what it was. Adelyn was almost five now, smaller than most kids her age, but still beautiful and smart. Everything about her reminded you of her father. 

You smeared the peanut butter and jelly onto slices of bread before pressing them together, “Addie! Lunch is ready!” You called to your daughter who played with Legos in her room. She came running into the living room and knelt down on the ground, immediately smearing all the jelly all over her little, now sticky hands. 

“Thank you.” She thanked with a mouth full of half chewed food, making a big show of showing you her mashed food. 

“You’re so gross.” You laughed at her, booping her nose gently. 

Just as you did so, the front door to your apartment swung open with a crash and you screamed, immediately lunging over to shield your daughter. 

“Y/N?” A scared, shaky voice asked. A voice that you hadn’t heard in five years. 

Slowly, you opened your eyes to see him standing there in your living room. Peter stood there, still in his Spiderman suit, wearing everything but the mask. His hair was disheveled and his face was cut up. He looked as if he hadn’t slept in days and like he’d been crying for hours. 

“Peter? What the- how the-” Your brain couldn’t form coherent thoughts. How was he here? Where had he been? You’d thought he died. On shaky, weak legs, you made your way to your feet and stumbled into his strong arms. 

He felt just like he did when he left. Strong, firm, like he’d never let you fall. Peter dipped his head down low into the crook of your neck and cradled your head against his chest. Hot tears began pouring down your face and you could tell by the wetness seeping through your shirt that he was sobbing too. 

“I missed you so much. I missed you so so much.” His fingers scrunched into your hair, pulling you impossibly closer to him. 

“Mommy…?” A small voice asked from behind you. 

You looked over your shoulder to see your Addie sitting there, still looking terrified at this strange man who’d just burst into your apartment. 

Peter’s arms slowly dropped around you, “Mommy?” He asked, eyes wide, unsure of whether this meant you’d moved on very fast or if she was his. But one look at the young girl and the answer was clear. 

You rushed over to your daughter and picked her up, trying to show her everything was okay. Peter’s eyes darted between the two girls before him and watched as you nodded awkwardly before gesturing towards him, “Daddy.” You admitted, chewing your lip nervously. 

He almost visibly choked. “Daddy? She’s… she’s mine?” 

You nodded, “She’s yours. This is Adelyn Astrid Parker.” 

Peter looked like he was just hit by a train. He’d already looked like hell when he came bursting in but now he looked like something snapped within him. 

“Let me get you some water.” 

**

Addie was sitting in front of the TV, watching one of her favorite shows, while you and Peter sat in the little kitchen nook, drinks in between each of your hands. “So five years?” He asked, still trying to adjust to this new reality. 

You nodded, staring down at your fingers on your cup, “Five years.” You confirmed. 

“Did you know before-” He questioned, scared to know the truth but desperate to know. 

You shook your head, cutting him off, “No. I found out three months after,” You snorted slightly, “I know, it’s really late.” In the old days, he probably would have teased you about it but nothing was funny about any of this now. You almost wished it was, though. Anything to break this dark cloud that seemed to loom over the room. 

“Can-can you tell me about it?” He asked shyly. Was that a weird request? To know about your pregnancy? It just killed him that he missed it. He missed it all. You did everything alone, without him, and he could only imagine how scary it was. 

You sipped your water, “Well, um, honestly, she’s kind of my miracle baby. I didn’t pick up on the signs at first. I thought my body was out of whack ‘cause of stress and I just kind of took a test to rule out the possibility but low and behold,” You indicated to your daughter who was blissfully unaware of everything, engulfed in her show. You sniffled slightly, “I really thought I fucked up, Peter. I was drinking a lot before I found out because I’d lost almost everyone and was scared. I stopped right when I saw the positive test but I really thought I hurt her. I don’t know how or why but she was born on August 4th four years ago, perfectly healthy.” 

Peter could sense the hurt in your voice and reached across the table to hold your hand, “You didn’t know. You can’t beat yourself up for that. And like you said, she’s healthy. That’s what matters.” He sighed and buried his face in his hands, “I am so sorry that I left you alone. I am so sorry that you had to go through all of this by yourself.” 

You reached across and gently touched his arm, “You don’t get to hate yourself for that. You were doing your duty and saving the world. You couldn’t control that you were in the half that disappeared. What matters is that you’re here now.” 

“Yeah…” He said sadly, looking down at the table. 

You squeezed his hand, “What happened?” You asked gently. Something was wrong with him. He looked horribly beat up physically but he also looked like he was in anguish emotionally, and more than just finding out about his daughter. 

His lips began to quiver slightly, “There was a battle. I don’t know exactly what happened but I was on a planet with... “ A darkness suddenly washed over him, “With Mr. Stark and this guy who calls himself Starlord and a few other people. We almost stopped him. We almost stopped Thanos but then... we lost. Half of us disintegrated and I was in this weird place that I can’t even describe. But there were a lot of people there. Then one day the wizard guy showed up and these portals opened and there was another war. And… and… Stark is dead.” Peter poured his heart out to you, tears beginning to overflow. 

You couldn’t even fathom what he’d gone through or what he’d seen. How do you comfort someone like that? Unsure of what else to do, you slid over to sit next to him and just let him collapse into you, crying. 

“Peter, I am so sorry.” You held him close, just like you did Addie when she was hurt or sad, and just sent as much love through your touch as you possibly could. “He loved you so much.” 

He nodded into your shoulder, “I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t save him.” He just kept murmuring over and over again. 

“Shh, I know you and I know that you did everything you possibly could. He knows that too.” You ran your fingers through his hair, feeling the dried sweat and blood caked into it and only imagining how it had gotten there and wondering whose blood it was. 

“Y’know, I know this may sound sort of lame but Addie, her middle name is Astrid. It’s sort of a stretch but I know how much you love Tony and even though you weren’t there I figured that maybe I could pretend you were when I named her. So I thought that Stark was like ‘Star’ but I didn’t like that so I went with Astrid. So, like I said, it’s really kind of a stretch, but I sort of named her after Stark cause I thought it was something you might like if you were there.” 

Peter sat up from your shoulder and smiled a little. In fact, he almost chuckled, “That is kind of a stretch but I like it. I love it.” He wiped his tears away and sniffled. He brushed his fingers through his hair and sat up, his eyes red and puffy again, “Can I meet her?” He asked, voice cracking. 

You nodded and smiled, “Of course,” You looked back towards the living room, “Addie, baby? Can you come here please?” 

Without a word, she stood up and walked over to you, looking back at the TV while she walked until she tripped over a toy. You and Peter couldn’t help but giggle at your adorably clumsy child. It wasn’t a hard fall though (and you know kids, they’re practically made out of rubber) so she bounced back up with a laugh and made her way over to you. You stood up and walked around to kneel next to Peter, putting on hand on his thigh and one hand on her shoulder. 

“Peter, this is Adelyn Astrid Parker. Addie, this is your daddy.” You introduced officially. 

Addie looked up at him with furrowed brows, “Daddy?” She’d never had a ‘daddy’ before. As far as she had always been concerned, it was her and Mommy against the world. 

“Yep, this is your daddy.” You smiled, rubbing small circles on Peter’s thigh with your thumb. 

“The superhero?” She asked, trying to put the pieces together. Peter was taken aback. The superhero? 

You nodded, excited that your little family was finally complete, “Yep.” 

Peter waved awkwardly, “Hi, Addie.” This was undeniably his daughter. She had the same curly brown hair and they had the same eyes. She looked almost like the girl equivalent of him. 

“Mommy said you were gone being a superhero and saving the world. Where were you?” Addie was trying to put the pieces together in her head. You’d made sure that she’d known that she had a dad. You’d even shown her photos of him. But you’d told her that he was a superhero who was off helping people. The last thing you wanted was for her to grow up thinking that Peter had just abandoned her. 

Peter looked taken back by the question, almost unsure of how to answer, so you stepped in, “He was off far away making sure that me and you and everyone else in the universe was safe from bad guys.” 

Peter watched in amazement as you spoke so animatedly to your young daughter, poking her every now and then for emphasis, especially when you talked about bad guys.

“What happened to your face?” She pointed at the cuts and bruises bluntly. 

His eyes widened and he moved to cover some of the abrasions, “Oh, just superhero stuff. The bad guys were tough this time.” He chuckled a little, trying to keep it as light hearted as possible and not remember details about the war. It was too much right now. 

“Stay here!” Addie put up a tiny hand before running off. Peter’s eyes widened in surprise at the sudden demand from the five year old but stayed there anyways. You chuckled as she ran off and then returned with a little toy doctor kit, one of the Doc McStuffins toys. 

Addie opened the plastic ‘doctor bag’ and took out a box of real band aids, “I help my toys feel better all the time. Here, this will help.” She took out a band aid and removed the protective seals with ease before climbing onto his lap without warning and stuck a dinosaur band aid on one of the small cuts on his cheek. He flinched at the less than graceful contact but kept a smile nonetheless. 

“Thank you. I feel much better.” Peter squeezed her against his body, feeling right away that this was right. This was where he was supposed to be. It almost felt like he’d known her all his life. 

You watched them interact and were almost amazed at how natural it seemed. Peter almost seemed more nervous than Addie was but you assumed that it was because she at least recognized him from the pictures now that the puzzle had been put together for her. You’d zoned out, not hearing them talk anymore but watching the way they smiled and how much more comfortable they seemed with each other after each second. 

Suddenly, Addie threw her arms around Peter again, like she would never let him go, “My daddy is a superhero. That’s so cool.” She stated with a smile, her eyes closed. 

You pushed yourself back up to join the duo, wrapping your arms around both of them, “That’s right. He’s a hero. He gives his all to keep everyone safe.” 

Peter shifted and adjusted his arms so that his arms wrapped around both you and Addie and he pulled all of you in as close as possible, never wanting to let go of his first true family moment. “I’m never going to disappear again. I’ll always be your hero.” 

[theliterateape]

I Like to Watch | Zack Snyder’s Justice League

by Don Hall

Mythology is fun.

As a kid I loved reading Edith Hamilton’s book on the Greek gods and the myths. Hercules, Perseus, Apollo, and Hera—this fell completely in line with my love for superhero comics. The strangely petty human traits of envy, greed, and lust combined with the power to level cities make for some great storytelling.

Zeus was basically Harvey Weinstein in the retroactive revision we’re mired in today. If Harvey could’ve changed into a golden animal and boned unsuspecting ladies looking for careers in Hollywood I’m pretty certain he would. The gods and demi-gods of the Greeks dealt with daddy issues, mommy issues, bad relationships, and fighting. Lots of fighting. Sometimes for the good of humanity but more often for the glory of winning.

Zach Snyder is in the business of tackling myths and reframing them with a style all his own. His career has become its own myth.

From Dawn of the Dead (not so much a reboot of Romero's zombie mythology but a philosophical reimagining of the genre that arguably jumpstarted The Hollywood fascination with it), 300 (a borderline homoerotic take on the myth of the Greek underdog), and Watchmen (a ridiculously ambitious attempt to put one of the most iconic takedowns on the potential fascism of the superhero legend machine ever written) to his nearly single-handed hack at answering the Marvel juggernaut with Man of Steel and Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice, Snyder is in the artistic business of subverting and re-envisioning the mythologies we embrace without even seeing them as such.

Snyder's style is operatic. It is on a grand scale even in the most mundane moments. The guy loves slow motion like Scorcese loves mobsters and Italian food. When you're tackling big themes with larger than life stories, the epic nature of his vision makes sense and has alienated a good number of audience members. With such excess, there are bound to be missteps but I'd argue that his massive take on these characters he molds from common understanding and popular nomenclature elevates them to god-like stature.

Fans of Moore's Watchmen have much to complain about Snyder's adaptation. The titular graphic novel is almost impossible to put in any other form than the one Moore intended and yet, Snyder jumped in feet-first and created a living, breathing representation of most, if not all, of the source material's intent. Whether you dig on it or not, it's hard to avoid acknowledging that the first five minutes of Watchmen is a mini-masterpiece of style, storytelling, and epic tragedy wrapped up in a music video.

Despite a host of critical backlash for his one fully original take, Sucker Punch is an amazing thing to see. More a commentary on video game enthusiasm with its lust for hot animated chicks and over-the-top violence that a celebration of cleavage and guns, the film is crazily entertaining. For those who hated the ending, he told you in the title what his plan was all along.

The first movie I saw in the theaters that tried to take a superhero mythology and treat it seriously (for the most part) was Richard Donner's Superman: The Movie. Never as big a fan of the DC characters as I have been of Marvel, it was still extraordinary to see a character I had only really known in pages to be so fully realized. Then came Burton's Batman movies. The superhero film was still an anomaly but steam was gaining. Things changed with Bryan Singer's X-Men in 2000, then Raimi's Spiderman, and those of us who grew up with our pulpy versions of Athena, Hermes, and Hades were rewarded with Nolan's Batman Begins. A far cry from the tongue-in-cheek camp of the 1966 TV Batman, Christian Bale's Bruce Wayne was a serious character and his tale over three films is a tragic commentary filled with the kind of death and betrayal and triumph befitting the grand narrative he deserved.

I loved Singer's Superman Returns in 2006 because it was such a love letter to the 1978 film (down to the opening credits) but by then, the MCU was taking over the world.

Snyder's first of what turns out to be an epic storyline involving perhaps seven or eight movies was Man of Steel. It was fun and, while I had my issues with the broodiness of Kal El, the odd take on Jonathan Kent, and a redheaded Lois Lane, I had no issue with Superman snapping Zod's neck. Darker and more tragic than any other version of the Kryptonian, it was still super entertaining.

Then came Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. By 2016, Marvel had codified their formula of serious characters wrestling with serious issues of power and responsibility peppered with lots of good humor and bright colors. Snyder's desaturated pallete and angst-filled demi-gods was not the obvious road to financial competition.

I'll confess, I hated it. BvS felt half-rendered. Lex Luthor was kind of superficial and played as a kind of Joker. The whole Bruce Wayne wants to kill Superman thing felt undeveloped and the "Martha" moment was just stupid.

When Joss Whedon's version of Snyder's Justice League came out in 2017, I was primed for it to be a turd and I wasn't surprised. So much of it didn't work on any level. I dismissed it as DC trying and failing miserably and was comforted by the coming of Thanos.

Following Thanos and the time heist was COVID. Suddenly, we were internationally sidelined and the movie theater industry caved in. Streaming services started popping up like knock-off smartphones and Hollywood was reeling, doing anything and everything to find a way back. Since Whedon's disastrous helming of Snyder's third act, fans online had been demanding to #ReleasetheSnyderCut but no one was ever really taking them seriously until all movie production was shut down for a year.

The stage was set to remedy a mistake (or at least make some bucks on a do-over of a huge box office failure). Snyder had left the production in part because of the suicide of his daughter and in part due to the constant artistic fights over executives looking for the quippy fun of the MCU but he still had all the original footage. Add to that the broiling accusations that Joss Whedon was "abusive" during the reshoots, the path seemed destined. For an additional $70 million and complete control, Snyder delivered a four hour mega-movie streamed on HBOMax.

Of course, I was going to watch the thing as soon as I could.

The Whedon version opens with an homage to the now dead Superman (including the much maligned digitally erased mustache on Henry Cavill). The SynderCut opens with the death of Superman and the agony of his death scream as it travels across the planet. It's a simple change but exemplifies the very different visions of how this thing is gonna play out.

Snyder doesn't want us to be OK with the power of these beings unleashed. He wants us to feel the damage and pain of death. He wants the results of violence to be as real as he can. When Marvel's Steve Rogers kicks a thug across the room and the thug hits a wall, he crumples and it is effectively over. When Batman does the same thing, we see the broken bones (often in slow motion) and the blood smear on the wall as the thug slides to the ground.

The longer SnyderCut is bloated in some places (like the extended Celtic choir singing Aquaman off to sea or the extended narrations by Wonder Woman which sound slightly like someone trying to explain the plot to Siri). On the other hand, the scene with Barry Allen saving Iris West is both endearing and extraordinary, giving insight to the power of the Flash as well as some essential character-building in contrast to Whedon's comic foil version.

One thing I noticed in this variant is that Zach wants the audience to experience the sequence of every moment as the characters do. An example comes when Diana Prince goes to the crypt to see the very plot she belabors over later. The sequence is simple. She gets a torch and goes down. Most directors which jump cut to the torch. Snyder gives us five beats as she grabs the timber, wraps cloth around the end, soaks it with kerosene, pulls out a box of matches, and lights the torch. Then she goes down the dark passageway.

The gigantic, lush diversity of Snyder’s vision of the DC superhero universe—from the long shots of the sea life in the world of Atlantis to the ancient structures and equipment of Themyscira— is almost painterly. Snyder isn't taking our time; he's taking his time. We are rewarded our patience with a far better backstory for the villain, a beautifully rendered historic battle thwarting Darkseid's initial invasion (including a fucking Green Lantern), and answers to a score of questions set up in both previous films.

Whedon's Bruce Wayne was more Ben Affleck; Snyder's is full-on Frank Miller Batman, the smartest, most brutal fucker in the room. Cyborg, instead of Whedon's sidelined non-character, is now a Frankenstein's monster, grappling with the trade-off between acceptance and enormous power. Wonder Woman is now more in line with the Patty Jenkins version and instead of being told about the loss of Superman, we are forced to live with the anguish of both his mother and Lois Lane in quiet moments of incredible grief.

To be fair to Whedon (something few are willing to do as he is now being castigated not for racism or sexism but for being mean to people) having him come in to throw in some levity and Marvel-esque color to Snyder's Wagnerian pomposity is like hiring Huey Lewis to lighten up Pink Floyd's The Wall or getting Douglas Adams to rewrite Cormac McCarthy's The Road.

I loved Snyder's self-indulgent, mythologic DC universe.

So much so that I then re-watched Man of Steel and then watched the director's version of BvS (which Snyder added approximately 32 minutes). The second film is far better at three hours and Eisenberg's Lex Luthor now makes sense. Then I watched Zach Snyder's Justice League a second time.

After nineteen hours of Snyder's re-imagining of these DC heroes and villains, I saw details that, upon first viewing, are ignored or dismissed, but after seeing them in order and complete, are suddenly consistent and relevant. Like Nolan or Fincher, Snyder defies anyone to eliminate even one piece of his narrative no matter how long. With all the pieces, this is an epic story and the pieces left at the extended epilogue play into a grander narrative we will never see.

Or maybe we will. Who knows these days?

[dnvrsmedia]

I Won’t Leave Your Side

Natasha x stark! reader

warnings : angst, lil bit of fluff too!! this takes place during iw

summary: The reader misses her dad (Tony) and her girlfriend Natasha consoles her.

Today could possibly be marked at the worst day of your entire life. Thanos and his army took everything greedily for no good reason. Mothers missing their children, workers missing their bosses, regular people missing their loved ones and friends missing their friends. Thanos took away all that he could and you were left broken.

The dusting hit you harder than anyone in the compound, or at least it felt so. All of the life you ever known just gone in a matter of seconds. You lost the one person who made you feel at home. The worst thing about it is that you don’t even know if he’s okay. Your father, Tony Stark has been your rock since the day he took you under his wing. Tony may have not been your biological dad, but he sure as hell did treat you like his very own.

You were in a horrible place -mentally and physically-when Tony saved you, and you will be forever greatful. Pepper gave Tony a wonderful idea of going around to the orphanages in the area and have a contest to see who gets to spend the day with him. You were running the contest -since you worked there- but you weren’t getting paid much. Your boss made a fool of you every day,since you’re so stubborn, you stood your ground until your saving grace -Tony- showed up and saw your potential.

Tony has done so many things for you including being the reason you met your beautiful girlfriend of 2 years, Natasha Romanoff. A couple of weeks into you living at the compound , Tony brought up that it wasn’t safe for you to continue living there without knowing combat. It took some persuasion from him, but finally the next morning he had you up and awake. You normally never talked to others in the compound besides Tony and Pepper. Since you everyone had separate floors with equipped everything, you never found it necessary to go to other floors.

As soon as you reached the training room your jaw dropped to the floor. You have never seen such a beautiful woman right front of you. She was wearing black skin tight athletic leggings with a black bra and sneakers. she was sporting a messy pony on the top of her head. When I walked in she was in the middle of beating Steve’s ass, but as soon as we laid eyes on eachother, Steve pinned her down to the floor.

“I think you’re losing your touch, Romanoff!” Steve smirked.

“yeah, yeah, shut it Captain Underpants.” Nat scoffed.

Tony had Nat train you; not only for shits and giggles, but because she is so highly trained in everything...but mostly for shits and giggles.

“H-hi i’m y/n!” you blushed while looking at your hands. You could feel her eyes looking back, scanning my face and body.

“Hi, i’m Natasha, Natasha Romanoff, but friends call me Nat.” she smirks. I look back up at her;face still blazing red.

Feeling a little daring, you quip back “Where do I stand, Miss. Romanoff?”

“We’ll just have to wait and see then?” She bites her lip.

Little did you know that was the beginning of a beautiful relationship between you and Natasha. Everyday you would come down to the compound at 10am sharp and train with Nat for two hours, then go out to lunch with her. The teasing from Tony only got worse and worse each day.

“Awh, look at the two love birds.” Tony commented as he entered the living room.

The pair of you were cuddling on the couch watching some brain mushing reality TV show. Tony’s remark made your heart pound and hide your blushed face into the crook of natasha’s neck. You and Natasha didn’t talk about your undeniable feelings for eachother yet, but deep down you both knew that you were meant for eachother.

“Are you done yet, Tony? We would love to hear the TV.” Nat quirked and rose an eyebrow in your dad’s direction.

“Dad have I ever told you how much I love you and how much you mean to me?”You stood up next to your father and led him out of the room. You turn back around to see Natasha smiling at the action you just made.

“Come here, moya lyubov.” Nat hums as she opens her arms to welcome you to cuddle once more. She takes her hand and caresses your cheek while swooping a fly away strand of hair, and expelling it to behind your ear. You and Nat look at eachother in the eyes for what feels like an eternity until she finally makes a move. The kiss felt like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. Her lips felt like sunshine after a rainstorm. She is everything you need and more. After you two separate, you could see the panic in Nat’s eyes. To clam her down, you swoop back in for another kiss, reassuring her that she didn’t make a mistake.

From that day forward you and Nat could not be separated. You both decided to wait a few before telling the compound since the whole being in a relationship thing was fairly new to the both of you. Nevertheless, when you guys decided it was the right time to tell everyone, they were all supportive and quite frankly not surprised at all. Not even a tiny bit. Actually when you both announced it, your dad screamed and ran up to hug you. He seemed to be more excited for the both of you than you and Nat were.

Now here you are, months later, sitting in a place that you used to call home. You don’t know if you could even call it that anymore. Without your dad, your closest friends, and loved ones, you feel lost. All you could do is sit and wait to see if your dad is alive. That hope that you have is slowly burning out.

You’re currently sitting in Tony’s favorite chair while you look out the window. You can’t help but to think about everything that’s happening. You find it hard to just shut off your brain these days. You feel strong yet delicate hands wrangler around your waist. You could tell it’s Natasha from perfume she’s wearing that you gifted her for her birthday last year.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours,hmm?” Nat questions as you look up at her face. You can tell that she hasn’t been sleeping. The dark circles underneath her eyes could tell millions of stories of the sleepless nights she spent trying to find your dad and the others.

“You haven’t been sleeping.” you frown.

“And you didn’t answer my question.” Nat let’s go of you and walks to the front of the chair, kneeling down in front of you. You try to look down, but she takes her hand and makes you look at her in the eyes. As soon as you see her, you start to cry.

“It’s okay, baby, let it all out. I’m here for you I promise I won’t leave your side.” She coos.

“I’m just so tired, Nat. It should’ve been me who got dusted , not peter, not bucky, not wanda. It should’ve been me! My dad would’ve known what to do, but that’s not how the universe works is it, huh? My dad is god knows where and I have no fucking clue if he’s alive right now. I’m just so exhausted Nat I just wanna-” You were cut off by Natasha as she took your face into her hands and gave you a passionate kiss.

“Don’t you dare say those things, moya lyubov. I know not knowing where Tony is hurts and I know not knowing how to solve this hurts, but don’t you dare think for a second that you should’ve ended up like half the universe did. You know for a fact that Tony would be in this exact position as we are right now if roles were reversed. You are just as smart as your father and you’re not alone. We may not have much, but we have eachother. We will find away to fix all of this I promise you, okay?”

You nod and bend down to give natasha a hug and tell her to sit next to you. The both of you spend the rest of the day cuddling and reminiscing on the fun you had with your father before the events of Thanos.

“Thank you, Nat. I don’t think you understand how much I love you. I’m sorry for shutting you out. We’ll get through this together.” You interlock hands and kiss her palm.

“I love you too angel.”

[xxx-cat-xxx]

A little broken

Over a year after defeating Thanos and almost losing Tony, Peter is still haunted by the final battle. In an attempt to outrun the memories, he starts college far from New York.

It takes a visit from his mentor and an ill-timed flu bug that brings them both to their knees until Peter realises that he doesn’t have to take on the whole world alone.

Some Irondad hurt/comfort for everyone who’s quarantining at home (and those of you who have to work. Stay safe!) This is my @marveltrumpshate​ fic for Heyriel. Great thanks to @whumphoarder​ for doing so much more than beta reading. I hope you enjoy.

______________________________

The first time they meet, Peter isn’t sure what to make of Tony Stark. 

The man shows up unannounced to Peter’s apartment, chewing on May’s date loaf and walking around Peter’s room as if he owns the place—talking as if he owns the whole world. Peter is both awed and appalled, May’s occasional comments about greedy billionaires ringing in his ears. But then Peter starts talking about his motivation for doing what he does, and for a moment something in the older man’s face seems to break. That’s when Peter knows that there’s more to him than what makes the tabloids. 

Germany is both a thrilling adventure and an unparalleled disaster. Peter watches the group of heroes he’s looked up to since childhood break apart before his very eyes. The fight is grueling, taking more out of Peter than he knew was possible. He is lying there on the ground, trying to catch his breath, when Tony bends over him. And for a moment, there it is again: the broken facade on his face—below it, pure panic. The way Tony looks at him with thinly masked worry reminds him of Ben’s expression whenever Peter was little and having an asthma attack, and it does something to his insides that he can’t really explain. 

Then, a few months later, Peter inevitably screws up and slices a ferry in half. The two of them are standing high above the city when Tony takes his suit away, and Peter feels tears pricking at his eyes. He cries later in his room, alone, because it’s so much more than just the suit; he feels that by disappointing Tony he’s lost his chance at something so much bigger. 

It’s a miracle he manages to fix this one.

After Siberia, Tony is darker and quieter and indisputably older—like he’s finally grown up. Peter is sad for him, but it’s not all bad either. This new Tony starts taking more of an interest in Peter’s training—starts acting like a real mentor to him. There are afternoons spent together in the lab, dinners at the tower with Tony and Mr. Rhodes, and even the occasional low-stakes mission. Slowly, Tony’s world starts to feel like a place where Peter might one day belong.

But then, the universe gets ripped in two and somewhere on a red and war-torn planet, Peter clings to Tony in desperation, feeling first his body, then his thoughts slip away from him. 

When he wakes again, there’s another battle to fight, but this time there’s no thrill to it. It’s his personal horror film come true.

He can hear the moment when Tony’s heart stops. Peter cries openly this time.  

*

In the end, Tony makes it through. He loses an arm and much of his physical strength, but he’s stubborn as hell and fights his way through recovery. But somehow the day of the battle never fades from Peter’s brain like memories should. 

When he finishes school, May proposes NYU, Tony naturally wants MIT, but Peter chooses Culver University. It might be good for him to get out of New York, is what he says. It might be good for him not to be in a place that has Tony’s legacy lurking around every corner, is what he thinks. And maybe moving away will make things easier when he returns. 

Three months into Peter’s first semester at Culver, Tony accepts a guest speaking gig at the university and decides to stay at a nearby hotel to spend the weekend with Peter.

And that’s when it all goes to hell. 

*

“Hello? Earth to Peter.” Tony waves a hand in his face. “Who are you daydreaming about?”

“Huh?” Peter looks up at Tony, then down at his half-finished iced tea. “Nothing,” he evades. “Nobody, I mean. Sorry, I’m just—just tired. And I have a lot of work left this weekend.”

“Mh-hmm.” Tony looks as if he isn’t quite believing it. “You want more spring rolls?” 

“Nah, I’m good. I’ll wait for the main dish.” 

Peter hasn’t eaten much today, but he’s not quite hungry either. He’s nursing a headache and the tiredness is not just an excuse. As happy as Peter is to see his mentor, Tony’s timing in showing up the week before midterms really could’ve been better. Peter feels like he might fall asleep right here at the restaurant table, but he already knows that he’s going to have to stay up until late to finish his readings. 

“You’re doing it again,” Tony points out. “You’re being awfully quiet, kid. What’s going on?” 

“Nothing, seriously.” Peter manages to hold eye contact for a few seconds and then takes another sip of his iced tea. “So, you said we could fix the suit while you’re here?”

Tony takes the bait (or maybe just lets it drop intentionally) and the talk quickly turns technical. 

After a few minutes, they’re interrupted by the waitress—a student Peter thinks he recognises from his Python lab—who stares at Tony for a moment, her gaze lingering on the scars decorating his right cheek and ear before dropping down to his bionic arm. Then she catches herself and asks for their order.

When their food arrives, Peter observes Tony take out a box of different coloured pills and swallow a couple of them dry. 

“I know, not sexy,” Tony remarks, noticing his look, “but sort of necessary if I want to keep this baby ticking.” He taps his hand over his chest with a wan smile. 

Peter grins half-heartedly in return, even while he can feel his insides clench. The comment reminds him of the time Tony’s heart actually did stop, of the battlefield with the dust of Thanos’ army still hanging in the air, of the utter helplessness he felt when Tony snapped, of― 

“Uhm, excuse me?” It’s the waitress again, her voice shy, cheeks blushing. She extends a piece of paper toward Tony. “Could I, uhm, could you, maybe give me an autograph for my sister? She’s a big fan. I mean, we all are, of course, but she’s got her room decorated with posters of you and all that…”

Tony looks her up and down with a raised eyebrow and a smirk playing around his lips. “What’s your sister’s name?” he asks finally, making a show of producing an integrated pen from his bionic arm. The waitress is visibly impressed, and Peter resists the temptation to roll his eyes―it’s far from the first time he’s seen this trick. If Tony was famous before, it’s nothing compared to the status he earned since dusting Thanos and saving the universe. 

Tony gives the waitress an easy smile along with the paper he passes back, and then turns back to Peter with a smirk. “Fangirls,” he whispers. “Gotta love ‘em. Did I tell you about the kid who offered me all of his allowance for a hoofprint from Gerald?”

*

Because Tony is Tony, it takes a long time before he has caught Peter up on anecdotes of Morgan, Happy, and Gerald’s newest misadventures, and by the time Peter gets back home, it is already late evening. His studio apartment is small and rather old, with walls that have turned grey over time and windows that don’t fully close anymore, but it’s got its own kitchen and bathroom, which is much better than a dorm room―especially since Peter wouldn’t know how to explain the odd hours he keeps or the regular blood stains in the shower to any of his fellow students. 

Peter’s head has been throbbing painfully for the better part of an hour, and the lights from the screen when he pulls out his laptop don’t make it any better. All his body seems to want is sleep, but if he’s going to spend the next two days upgrading his suit with Tony’s help, he really needs to get these chemistry readings finished. 

He tries for several hours, but the words don’t seem to want to stick in his mind and it takes longer than expected until he feels that he has understood the chapter. Peter drops into bed around 3:30 in the morning, too tired to even change out of his jeans, and falls asleep immediately.

*

Peter is woken up by someone knocking on his apartment door to the beat of “We Will Rock You”, and it’s all he can do to stifle a groan. He drags himself out of bed and over to the door.

“Finally,” Tony sighs when Peter lets him in, shoving a reusable thermal to-go cup in the kid’s face and causing him to flinch backwards. “I thought I’d have to actually start singing.” Then he gives Peter a once-over and his face falls. “What happened to you?”

“I think I’m sick,” Peter replies, realising it is true the same moment the words leave his mouth. His head is hurting even more than the night before and his throat feels raw and painful, but the worst is the utter weakness in his body and the chills running down his back that tell him he has a fever. 

“What kind of sick?” Tony asks suspiciously. To Peter’s surprise, instead of turning on his heel and leaving the surely germ-infested apartment, Tony steps over the threshold and raises a hand to cup to Peter’s forehead.

“Dunno.” Peter shrugs. “Just feel like garbage. Flu was going around the school last week―it’s probably that.”

“Aw, kid,” Tony sighs, something like compassion in his voice. “Yeah, you feel really warm.” 

“Sorry about the suit,” Peter says, moving back to sit down on his bed heavily. “I guess you can just go back to New York early then.” 

“What? You think I’m coldhearted enough to leave my former intern alone on his deathbed somewhere in the Virginian wilderness?” 

“Culver’s not that bad,” Peter defends. “And I’m not alone either.”

“So that means you have someone here to take care of you?” Tony raises a sceptical eyebrow.

Peter hesitates. “I… May’s a nurse,” he evades. “I can call her.” 

Truth is, there actually isn’t anybody. He hasn’t really made friends yet―at least certainly not the kind he would consider asking to take care of him while he’s down with the flu. He calls May twice a week, skypes with Ned—and occasionally still with MJ—on the weekends, and he’s friendly enough with his classmates when they’re working together in classes. But his downtime is mostly spent studying on his own and patrolling the city at night.

“Yeah, no, that’s not happening.” Tony looks him over appraisingly, then seems to make a decision and presses the cup of hot chocolate into Peter’s hand. “Guess I’ll stick around for a bit. Here, drink that.” 

“I don’t really feel like it.” Peter is definitely queasy, bordering on nauseous, and the thought of drinking something as rich as hot chocolate almost makes his stomach turn. He shifts on the bed so that he can lean against the headboard, feeling too tired to hold his body up without support.

“Well, you need to have something. Super metabolism and all that.” Tony strides over to the small, definitely not tidy kitchenette and starts opening cupboards, most of which are empty. He comes up with a few packets of shrimp-flavoured instant noodles and a box of Coco Puffs. “Really, kid?”

“I was gonna get groceries today,” Peter says defensively. 

“Yeah, I’m gonna do that now,” Tony states. “What do you say to buttered noodles? That’s all Morgan ever wants when she’s sick.” 

“Yeah, that’s...that’s fine,” Peter says, dumbfounded at the idea of Tony Stark going to the supermarket and making pasta for him. 

“Good. Glad that you agree, since that’s about as far as my cooking skills go.” He zips up his jacket and grabs Peter’s keys from the table. “Don’t do anything stupid till I’m back.” With that, he’s out of the door. 

Peter doesn’t feel like he’d be able to do anything stupid even if he wanted to. He can’t remember the last time he felt this bad, and with his Spider-Manning lifestyle, that really says something. He’s thirsty, but his throat hurts in a way that doesn’t make him want to swallow anything. There’s an ugly taste in his mouth and he really wants to brush his teeth, but the bathroom could just as well be a hundred miles away. 

If May were here, she would have set him up on the sofa with Star Trek: TOS playing on the TV while changing his sheets and airing out the room, he thinks. And suddenly the homesickness hits him like a train. He misses May. He misses New York and his friends and even the busy schedule that high school provided him with, but mostly he misses coming home to an apartment that’s not empty, having someone to eat breakfast with in the mornings and share his day with in the evenings over burnt teriyaki chicken. Just the thought of May’s disastrous cooking skills almost brings tears to his eyes. 

He stays like this for an indefinite amount of time, feeling miserable and blinking back tears, until Tony eventually returns. He sets down the shopping bag on the table and closes his eyes for a moment, rubbing the bridge between them with his fingers, the telltale sign that he has a headache. 

“You okay?” Peter asks hoarsely.

“Yeah. You live in a village, kid. Took forever to find a parking spot and then everyone and their mother wanted an autograph. Basically fought my way out of there. Might have to give my lawyer a heads up, actually.” 

Peter can’t even bring himself to force a laugh. A part of him wants to tell Tony to just go home already; the other part of him really, really doesn’t want to be alone right now. He sniffs hard and swallows to keep his nose from dripping.

“Hey,” Tony’s expression sobers as he sits down next to him on the mattress. “Did I miss something?”

“I just―” Peter rubs a sleeve over his watery eyes, feeling embarrassed. He thinks for an excuse and suddenly remembers the very real problems of college. “Ah, crap.” 

“Huh?” Tony asks.

“I have two tests next week,” Peter admits miserably. “I haven’t done anything for them yet―I was going to study this weekend in the evenings―”

“That’s fine, kid, we can deal with that. We saved the universe, remember? Schoolwork is nothing compared to Thanos, trust me.”

“I know,” Peter sniffs. Then, before he can stop himself, he blurts out, “I‘m just missing home.” 

“Ah,” Tony says. He lays his bionic hand on Peter’s shoulder and rubs it. “Yeah, that makes more sense.”

“I’m sorry,” Peter goes on, “I didn’t mean, I’m just―” 

“You’re just sick and tired and emotional,” Tony assesses, but there’s no judgement in his voice. “Come on.” He gestures for Peter to lie down and pulls the blanket up to his neck. “Go to sleep, kid.” His tone is almost soft. “I’ll be here.”

Peter falls into a feverish, exhausted sleep. He’s dimly aware of an icy cold gripping him and chills wracking his body, and then of Tony putting an extra blanket on him. At some point Tony offers food, but Peter’s too tired to even fully open his eyes. He mumbles something that he hopes Tony understands and turns over to the other side. 

The next time he fully surfaces, it’s from Tony gently shaking him awake. “Hey Pete, I know you’re tired, but you really need to eat something.” 

“Don’ wanna,” he mutters, pulling the covers up to his chin.

“Peter. Come on, kid.” 

He blinks himself awake. The apartment is dark now; it must be evening already. The faint smell of food lingers in the air. “D’ I sleep all day?” he asks, confused. 

“Almost. You can still catch Saturday Night Live.” 

“Hmm.” Peter sits up slowly. He feels woozy and weak and his head is still hurting, which is ridiculous considering how long he slept for. 

“Just let me check your temperature.” Tony takes off his smartwatch and presses it against Peter’s neck, just under his chin. The cold metal sends shivers down his spine. 

“102.6,” Tony reports. “Yeah, that’s not great. A pity that fever reducers don’t work on you.” Tony’s voice sounds rough. Peter squints up at him just as the man turns his head into his shoulder to cough. He looks tired—really tired—and, as far as Peter can make out in the dim light of the bedside lamp, his face is kind of flushed. 

“Are you okay?” Peter croaks. 

“Uhm...” For a moment it looks like Tony wants to lie, but then he falters. “Not really. Guess I caught the same bug you did.”

“Shit,” Peter says. This sucks big time. 

“I already texted May—she’ll probably be up here tomorrow. As soon as you’d had something to eat and drink, I’ll go back to the hotel and get out of your hair. You don’t need an old sick man around.”

“What? No!” Peter blurts before he can stop himself. He feels his breath speeding up, horrified at both the idea of Tony leaving him here alone, and of Tony being on his own in some hotel room feeling as miserable as Peter does now. “Please don’t go.”

Tony looks taken aback. “Pete, I don’t think I’m going to be much help soon.” 

“No, it’s not that, it’s just…” Peter feels himself blushing. “It’s nice not to be alone,” he admits in a small voice. 

Tony gives him a long look. “Okay, fine,” he agrees eventually. “But that means you have to listen to me. And the first rule is: eat your dinner, kid.”

They eat quietly. Tony is visibly making an effort not to let on just how bad he’s feeling, but Peter has learned to read the signs during his mentor’s long period of recovery from the snap. Tony is rubbing his shoulder whenever he thinks that Peter isn’t looking, which means that his prosthesis is hurting him. His shoulders are slumped, showing how tired he is, he’s nursing a headache, and then there is the fairly obvious sign of him hardly having eaten anything except for two spoons of pasta and his medication.

After dinner, Tony calls Pepper while Peter calls May. She gives him a run-down of the usual flu advice―“Stay hydrated, try and rest, and for god’s sake, don’t pile every blanket you own on yourself like that time you had strep, Peter—keep the curtains on the windows”—and promises to drive up tomorrow if she can get her shift covered. Then she asks to talk to Tony. Meanwhile, Peter uses the bathroom, brushes his teeth and changes into pyjamas. Observing himself in the mirror, he realises just how run-down he looks. He splashes some water on his face, which does nothing except make him shiver. 

“She asked whether you built that Lego ship she got you for your birthday,” Tony announces when Peter returns. 

“Oh.” Peter hasn’t, of course. He’s neither had the time nor the motivation to do so without Ned.

Tony makes a show of looking around the room. “This place is less personal than an airbnb. I told her there’s not even a poster on your wall.”

“So what?” Peter sighs. He feels the need to defend himself, but he’s too sick to come up with anything.  

Tony doesn’t press it, luckily. He borrows a pair of sweatpants, which end up being a bit short around his ankles and make it look like he’s outgrown them. It almost makes Peter smile. They pull out the sofa-sleeper that May insisted on him getting, but which he’s had no opportunity to use until now. When everything is set up, Peter is almost dizzy from being on his feet for so long. He’s both sweating and shivering and very glad to lie back down under the covers.

Tony turns on the TV, but neither of them is really paying attention. Peter is half asleep a few minutes into the news and Tony seems visibly uncomfortable, shifting around every few minutes on the couch. 

“Do you want to switch to the bed?” Peter asks him, secretly hoping for the answer to be no―he really doesn’t want to get up again. Tony shakes his head, lips pressed tightly together. Then he gets to his feet faster than Peter would have thought possible for someone in his condition and bolts to the bathroom. 

Peter hears nothing for a while. Then there’s a few weak coughs, followed by a retch and the sound of splashing. Peter cringes, his own stomach twisting in sympathy. The small size of the apartment and his enhanced hearing make it impossible to tune out the sounds as Tony continues to be sick into the toilet for the next ten minutes. When the retching tapers off, Peter shakily gets to his feet and fills a glass of water from the kitchenette. 

He knocks on the bathroom door, then leans heavily against the frame. “I got you some water,” he calls, hearing Tony’s ragged breathing inside. “Can I come in?”

“Just go to sleep, kid,” Tony croaks. 

“Yeah, sure,” Peter mumbles under his breath. After a few moments, he hears the sound of the flush and then the door opens. Tony is covered in sweat and looking about as bad as Peter feels, plus there’s a greenish tinge to his face. The smell of vomit wafts out and hits Peter’s nostrils, turning his own stomach. 

“Thanks, Pete,” Tony croaks says hoarsely and takes the water from his hand. His metal fingers feel cold against Peter’s burning skin when they brush the back of his hand. “Sorry you had to hear that.”

“‘S okay,” Peter mumbles. He suddenly has a hard time focusing on Tony. His head feels so heavy that he has to rest it against the doorframe as well. 

“Jeez, kid,” Tony comments. Then his face drains even more of colour and he presses his knuckles against his lips, swallowing thickly. “Go lie down, okay? I’ll be out in a bit.” With that, he turns and disappears back into the bathroom. 

For once, Peter listens to him, unsure whether he will be able to keep standing much longer anyway. After a moment of consideration, he curls up on the couch, leaving the softer bed for the older man. He drifts there for a while, trying to tune out the sounds of sickness coming from the bathroom. 

Eventually, he is dimly aware of someone entering the room and switching off the lights. There’s cold metal touching his neck as someone takes his temperature and tsks, then softly brushes back his hair and lays a cold washcloth on his forehead. It feels amazing against Peter’s burning skin.

“Thanks, May,” he mumbles.

*

Waking up feels like resurfacing after diving into a deep pool of water. Peter’s eyelids are sticky with sleep and his brain feels like it’s been through a potato masher. He’s disoriented, so it takes a bit until he realises that it was Tony’s voice that woke him. “Pete,” he hears him calling again weakly. Something about it shakes him out of his half-awake state. 

“Tony?” he asks, sitting up. There’s a rustling sound and a thump from the bathroom, confirming his worry. A quick glance at his phone on the bedside table tells him that it’s just after 4am. Definitely not the time to take a shower.

Peter’s head swims when he gets up from the couch. He takes a few unsteady steps towards the bathroom and then stops to lean against the wall until his vision clears and he can open the door.

Tony is on the ground next to the toilet, wrenched in between the bowl and the shower, looking about ten times worse than earlier. His face is almost grey except for the scars on his right cheek, which are flushed in an angry red. His dark eyes are glassy and deeply exhausted. Sweat sticks to his hair and t-shirt, the prosthesis off and one sleeve dangling empty. The smell of vomit hangs thickly in the air, much stronger than before.

Tony slowly lifts his head when Peter steps in. “Hey,” he croaks, attempting a smile and giving up somewhere halfway. “Sorry for waking you. ‘S just that I could use some help.”

“With what exactly?” 

“Getting up?” Tony asks sheepishly. “I tried and almost took down your shower curtain.”

Peter blinks. “Well, shit.”

“You said it, kid.” 

Peter extends a hand and Tony grabs it gratefully, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet. Peter closes the toilet lid and Tony sits down on it with a heavy sigh. He shudders convulsively, then closes his eyes and swallows rapidly a few times, as if trying to stop himself from being sick again. 

“How long have you been in here?” Peter asks while checking Tony’s temperature on his smart watch. He finds it to be at a worrying 103.6.

“Uhm,” Tony makes a vague gesture with his hand. “Midnight, maybe? Kinda lost track of time.” Peter frowns. “Sorry for waking you up, kid,” Tony says again, taking his expression the wrong way. “That’s kind of why I didn’t want to stay.”

“You should have called me earlier.” Peter fills a glass of water from the tap. “And yeah, really reassuring to think of you spending the night on the bathroom floor of your hotel because you can’t get up on your own.”

Tony mumbles something that sounds a lot like, “Not like I haven’t done that before.” When Peter hands him the glass, the man’s hands are trembling so much that half of the water spills out onto his shirt. 

“Shit,” Tony mutters. “All my spares are at the hotel.” 

“I can give you one of mine,” Peter offers. 

“Yeah, that... that would be great,” Tony says earnestly. Peter wonders whether he’s maybe a bit delirious. “This shit didn’t use to happen before the snap, you know.”

“Don’t worry,” Peter says, surprised at the admission. He fetches a clean sweatshirt from the dresser and hands it to the older man. His mentor’s whole body is shaking violently with chills. While Tony changes, Peter notices that the scar pattern around his shoulder stump is an angry red. It looks painful, but Tony doesn’t seem to care too much. 

Something twists within Peter. It reminds him too much of the time just after the snap when he saw Tony in the hospital, weak with fever from the infected limb.

“Ready for bed?” Peter asks, shaking the thoughts from his head.

“Yeah,” Tony says, although he doesn’t look too sure. Peter pulls him upright and almost staggers under the man’s weight and his own weakness. Tony doesn’t comment, and when Peter turns towards him, he sees that he is biting his lips, eyes largely unfocused. 

“This really hit you hard, huh?” Peter asks when they have made it to the bed, sitting down next to Tony. His mentor is bending forward, head in his hands, panting and shaking like he just finished a mission in the suit. That’s not the only thing, though. With his advanced hearing, Peter can pick up Tony’s heartbeat, which is slightly arrhythmic. 

“Tony?” he asks suspiciously. “What’s wrong with your heart?”

“Yeah, about that…” The other man raises his head, but avoids Peter’s gaze.

“What?” Peter can feel his own heart rate speeding up in worry.

“I, uh...remember my heart medication?” Tony says casually. “I threw up the last dose. It’s not dangerous, don’t worry,” he adds when Peter stares at him, alarmed, “Or, well, at least not yet. Just sort of increases the nausea and dizziness.”

“Can’t you take another dose?” he asks. 

“I don’t think I can keep anything down right now,” Tony admits. “But I’ll try in the morning.”

“Hmm.” This doesn’t really do anything to make Peter feel better. 

“Don’ worry, kid” Tony adds with a tired slur to his words, which only achieves the opposite. With a lot of effort, he pulls his legs up to the bed and then lies down under the blankets. “Let’s both sleep for a bit and things will look brighter in the morning.”

Peter gets himself a glass of water and then curls back up on the couch. He hears Tony’s breaths turn heavy and even out before long, but although he feels exhausted, he has a hard time going back to sleep. The sofa feels like rocks under his achy body, and he keeps turning around, unable to find a comfortable position. His head doesn’t fare any better. With his brain cloudy from fever, it’s even harder than usual to stave off the memories from the battlefield. 

His eyes finally fall shut and back he goes, right into the middle of dust and blood and death looming around every corner. He knows that there should be screams and shouts everywhere, but it’s silent, dead silent, except for the underlying thump-thump-thump of Tony’s heartbeat, becoming ever quieter. 

Peter rounds a heap of rubble and almost stumbles over Tony, who is lying on the ground, half his body eaten away by the radiation. The beating gets weaker even as Peter falls onto his knees and tears stream down his cheeks. He’s been here a hundred times, unable to save the man who saved him, and he knows exactly how this is going to end. 

A beat, almost indiscernible. A breath leaves Tony’s lips for the last time. 

Silence. 

*

He wakes to the feeling that everything in the world that possibly could be wrong, is wrong. His whole body is hot and he feels nauseous, almost as if he will throw up. Sick, he remembers. He’s sick. Tony’s― 

Peter forces himself to take a deep breath that comes out more like a choked sob. He sits up dizzily, and is surprised by the light streaming through the windows. His eyes immediately wander to Tony’s still form on the bed, covered by blankets. Peter can make out his slightly ragged breathing, but he’s way past the point where he would feel calmed by this. 

Unsteadily, he makes his way over to the bed and sits down on the floor next to it, shivering uncontrollably from the coldness of the tile, but not wanting to wake Tony up. He tries to calm himself, but his heart won’t stop racing. Everything feels kind of surreal and he can’t shake the image of Tony’s body on the ground, so still and lifeless. There are tears burning in his eyes. He shoves his knuckles in his mouth to keep himself from sobbing loudly. 

“Kid?” Tony’s groggy voice asks. “What ‘appened?”

“S-Sorry,” Peter manages. “G-Go back to sleep.”

“Hey.” Tony rubs his eyes and tries to push himself up, only partially succeeding. Looking at Peter, his face takes on an alarmed expression. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Peter whispers, feeling infinitely stupid. “J-Just had a nightmare.” He bites his lip, but with the admission, a dam seems to break. He can feel his eyes overflowing. 

“Hey, kid, hey,” Tony says softly. “It’s alright.”

Peter just shakes his head, tears dripping down his cheeks onto the floor. Tony extends a trembling hand to wipe them away. “Do these nightmares happen often?” he asks.

“Sometimes,” Peter evades. He wonders why he doesn’t just tell the truth. That there’s rarely a night when he doesn’t go back to the battle against Thanos, or the dust on Titan, or even the Vulture in flames―an enemy that seems ridiculous now compared to the ones they’ve fought since, but sometimes still makes it into Peter’s dreams. 

“It’s gotten worse again, hasn’t it?” Tony asks. “Since you moved here.” His hand drops down to Peter’s shoulder and squeezes it lightly. 

“‘S okay,” he lies. “I’m fine. Jus’... just the fever.”

“Mmh-hmm, sure. Come here.” Tony nods his head towards himself, weakly lifting an arm, and Peter lets himself get pulled into the hug. “Woah, kid. You’re on fire.” 

“Hmm,” Peter mumbles. “You too.” 

It’s true; Tony’s body feels even hotter than his. The sweatshirt Peter had given him is already damp with sweat. And, most concerningly, his heart is still beating out of rhythm. It reminds Peter way too much of his dream for him to ignore it. 

“You need to have some water,” Tony says, ignorant to Peter’s thoughts. “And eat something. It’s been a while.”

Peter’s queasiness increases at the thought. “Stomach’s not feeling great,” he admits. “How are you doing?” he asks then, into the older man’s chest. “And don’t lie.” 

He feels Tony grimacing. “Like a clock someone forgot to wind up.” His remaining arm lets go of Peter as he brings it to his chest to massage the area around his heart. “But hey, don’t worry. I’m gonna try my pills and some water and then I’ll be back on my bullshit before you know it.” 

But he isn’t. Half an hour later, Peter has to support Tony to the toilet to once again throw up the medication and the few sips of water he’s just managed to get down. He stops trying to reassure Peter after the second bout of painful dry heaves wrack his body and doesn’t even resist when Peter wipes down his grey face with a wet cloth. On their way back, halfway across the bedroom, they almost lose balance when Tony’s legs suddenly give out. Peter just manages to stabilise him before they can faceplant all the way. 

“That’s it. You need to go to the ER,” Peter decides after all-but carrying Tony back to the bed and sitting him down. Peter’s own body feels heavy with exhaustion. Tony weakly shakes his head and opens his mouth to object. “Please, Tony.”

There must have been something in his voice that gave away his desperation because Tony shuts up mid-inhale. He gives Peter a deep look and then nods shakily. ”But only if you eat something first.”

“Okay.” He checks Tony’s temperature, which has climbed even higher, to 103.8. Peter’s own is hardly any better at 103.2, but at least he can still stand―kind of, he realises when he has to sit down to be able to concentrate on his phone screen long enough to call a cab. 

The walk to the kitchen feels like it’s a mile long. Peter surveys the meagre food choices and decides that cold pasta with salt looks like the best option. After the first few bites, his queasiness abides a bit and he manages to finish his small plate, suddenly realising how hungry he was. He drinks two glasses of water with it and finally feels a little less lightheaded. Then he goes to the bathroom and, on a whim, swallows a small handful of painkillers from the bottle of Advil Tony has sitting beside his pill box. They will hardly do anything for him, but hopefully they’ll keep him upright until they reach the hospital.

When Peter comes back, he expects Tony to be lying where he left him and is already wondering how he’s going to maneuver him down the stairs from the second floor with the man's balance shot and his own legs feeling like noodles. But Tony is sitting up and in the process of putting on his shoes. His determination, however, falters a bit when it comes to actually standing up. 

“Just go slow,” Peter directs, supporting Tony to the door and taking on most of the man’s weight. “One step at a time.”

They make it down the first staircase before Tony holds up a hand. “Just need a minute,” he exhales, sitting down with a sigh and leaning against the wall, his eyelids fluttering shut. His breathing is ragged. Peter looks at him worriedly, the unsteady thump of the man’s heartbeat loud in his ears. Tony, as if feeling the gaze, opens one eye to squint at him. “Not dead yet, kid. Come on, let’s get downstairs.” 

Maybe it’s the fact that the painkillers are wearing off faster than expected or that Peter’s anxiety is finally getting the better of him, but the cab ride is kind of a blur. He just remembers Tony sitting with his head tipped back and his eyes closed, looking deathly exhausted, and at some point grabbing the older man’s hand and holding on. 

Peter only lets go of it when he has to fill in the forms once they reach the hospital. The ER nurse takes one look at Tony’s scarred face and missing arm and then directs them to a private room. Peter’s hand is shaking so hard that Tony’s name on the form looks like a child’s scrawl. Behind him, his mentor is already being connected to a heart monitor, while another nurse is bringing an IV stand.

He hands the form to the elderly nurse and then has to steady himself against the wall when he stumbles a bit. 

Her brow furrows. “Are you alright?” she asks. 

“Y-Yes,” Peter answers quickly. 

“Bullshit. He’s got the flu too,” Tony mutters from the bed behind them. 

“I’m fine,” Peter insists, feeling his heart rate spike. They’ve done a great deal to keep his secret identity, well, secret while he’s at Culver, and he’s not about to let his powers be discovered just because of a flu bug. “Really, I’m okay. Not a big deal.”

“Honey, you can’t be here as a visitor if you’re sick,” the nurse says, her tone kind, but firm. “You’ll risk infecting the other patients.”

Peter looks up, taking a moment to understand the implications. “What? No, please don’t make me go!” 

The nurse eyes him critically, then sighs and relents. “If you’re going to stay, you’ll have to be inside this room at all times. I can’t have you walking around spreading germs.”

“That’s okay,” Peter agrees immediately. It’s not like he was planning to walk the halls anyway; his legs feel like they might go on strike any moment. When the nurse turns around to start working on Tony, Peter wobbles over to an uncomfortable chair in the corner and collapses into it.

He feels like the next time he takes an actual breath is once Tony is hooked up to painkillers, antiemetics, and something for his heart, the fluids dripping steadily into his arm through an IV and the heart monitor finally—finally—reverts back to a steady rhythm of beeps. Tony isn’t conscious anymore to notice; after spending the better part of the last 24 hours on Peter’s bathroom floor, his exhaustion has finally gotten the upper hand. He drifts off as soon as the meds start kicking in. 

Once the nurses leave, Peter drags his chair over next to the bed. Tony looks—there is no other way to describe it—frail. Like he might fall apart any minute if Peter stops watching. His fever is still much too high at 103.3 and he is sleeping fitfully, as if the dreams are haunting him as well. Peter can still see images from the nightmare in his mind. Not clear, but looming, like he might find himself on the battlefield any time he turns around. 

He doesn’t want to fall asleep, but he’s dead tired. Now with the adrenaline fading, it feels like his body weighs a thousand pounds. He suddenly doesn’t even feel able to keep his head up, and instead lets himself slump forward, crossing his arms and resting his head on top. His cold hands are a sharp contrast to his burning face. 

His mind feels oddly detached from his body, like he’s floating, and he has no idea how much time has passed when suddenly the nurse shakes him awake from where he’s slidden down onto the edge of Tony’s mattress. “Can you just move for a second, hon?” she asks gently. “I need to hook up some more fluids."

"Oh yeah, sure, of course..." Peter nods groggily and goes to stand up a little too quickly. The moment he is on his feet, he can practically feel the blood rushing away from his head, and a wave of darkness rolls over him. Peter grabs for something to hold on to but comes up empty. He feels himself sway into the nurse, who grabs his shoulders and just about manages to keep him from face planting on the hospital floor.

“You’re really warm, dear,” she observes after helping him sit back down on the chair. "You really can't be here if you're not a patient. Let me call someone to get you a bed."

“But I—” Peter feels panic swelling in his chest. He doesn’t want to leave Tony alone, especially when he can’t be sure that the man’s heart won’t stop again, but he can’t let anyone find out about Spider-Man either―

"Peter, it's fine,” he hears a thin voice. Tony, just woken up, is shifting wearily under the blanket, turning his head towards them. “They'll sign NDAs and no one will know. Just do what she says and get in the bed, alright?"

So Peter does. The nurse calls her colleague, who sets up a bed next to Tony’s and takes Peter’s vitals. After Peter groggily explains that fever reducers won’t do anything to bring down his 103.5 degree temperature, the nurse hooks him up to fluids to counteract the dehydration.

The world goes blurry again and he is half asleep when he sees Tony slip something into the elderly nurse’s hand on her way out the door.  

When she’s gone, Peter gives Tony a confused look. “You bribed her to let me stay in the room?” 

“What are you talking about?” Tony scoffs lightly. “I just asked nicely and told her you took part in saving the world―that was more than enough.” He shrugs a bit. “And I might’ve signed an autograph for her son.” 

Peter would have rolled his eyes if his head wasn’t hurting so much. “Still a bribe,” he mumbles.

“Go to sleep, kid,” Tony says warmly.

He closes his eyes but then opens them again to see Tony watching him. “You’ll be okay, right?” Peter asks. 

“Of course,” Tony replies. “I’m always okay.”

*

When Peter wakes up again in the early evening, it’s to May lightly stroking his curls out of his face. A tension he didn’t even know he was holding seems to fall off his shoulders.

“Hey, baby,” she says softly when he hugs her. “Rough weekend, huh?” 

It is decided that neither of them has to spend the night at the hospital―Tony has to fight to be discharged, but they eventually let him go after making him promise to rest, take his medicine, and tell May if his heart acts up again. In turn, Tony collects each of the staff members’ contact details to have his lawyers send NDAs later. 

The drive back to the flat is quiet. Tony attempts small talk for the first five minutes, but is still too out of it from the combined force of illness and drugs, and quickly gives up again. Peter is just relieved that May is there. 

Once they’re home, May makes both of them eat some toast and then ushers them off to bed. Peter feels like he hasn’t slept since he moved to Virginia, and maybe that’s true in a way. But now with Tony and May both there, he finally feels like it’s safe to let himself go. 

*

He wakes up to May opening the windows to let in the chilly morning air.

“C’n I have some water?” he mumbles. 

May hands him the glass. “Your fever has come down a bit overnight. Feeling any better?” she asks. 

“Hmm.” He’s still weary and headachey, but the chills are gone and the world seems much less frightening now. “How’s Tony?” he asks.

“Still asleep. We talked a little last night—he didn’t get much rest, I’m afraid. But you should wake him up and tell him it’s time for food and medicine.”

Peter sits up and is rewarded with a lack of dizziness. He goes to the toilet and washes his face before trudging over to the bed and sitting down carefully on the mattress next to his mentor’s sleeping form. Tony’s eyes are moving rapidly behind his closed eyelids as if he’s in the middle of a dream. His hair is a greasy mess, the scars as red and angry as before and his cheeks still flushed with fever, but the rest of his face isn’t as pale as it was the previous day, and, when he listens carefully, Peter can make out his regular heartbeat.

“Tony?” Peter whispers, gently touching his flesh shoulder. 

Tony grunts and rolls himself over. “Pep?” he asks in a muffled voice. 

“Not exactly.” Tony blinks awake and squints up at Peter. “How are you feeling?”

“Ugh…I want my hospital drugs back,” Tony half-jokes. “But not on the verge of cardiac failure anymore, so that’s a plus.”

“Hmm.” Peter reaches for his hand to check the smart watch. “Your temperature’s down.” Tony’s is at 101.5, whereas Peter’s is at 100.7. Tony gives first the numbers and then Peter a critical once-over before closing his eyes again. 

“Don’t go back to sleep,” Peter warns. “May said you need to take your medicine and eat something.”

Tony groans audibly. “Nurses never let you have any fun...” 

*

The first time they met, Peter wasn’t sure what to make of Tony Stark. 

Times have changed, Peter thinks, as he surveys the scene in his apartment. 

After a painfully slow shuffle to the bathroom and back, Tony decides that he doesn’t feel up to walking around just yet, so they all eat breakfast in bed, assembled on various pillows and blankets, while Star Trek plays on the TV in the background. With his appetite returning and worries temporarily lifted, Peter devours two pieces of toast with chocolate spread and a glass of orange juice while Tony sticks to saltines, tea, and the pills he swallows under May’s watchful eye. 

When they’re done, May announces that she’s heading out for groceries. “No crime-fighting until I’m back,” she orders with a smile. “And I want each of you to finish the water bottles on the table.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” Tony salutes sarcastically. The moment May shuts the door, he sets down his half-finished cup of tea and slumps visibly into his pillows. 

“You alright?” Peter asks immediately. 

“Jeez, kid, you’re worse than Morgan,” Tony comments, not without affection. “I know last night was scary for you, but honestly, this is not even in my top 20 for life-threatening events I’ve experienced in the last few decades.”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?” Peter retorts. “Because it really doesn’t.”

He must have come across less playful than intended, because Tony’s expression sobers. He regards Peter with the deep look that always gives him the feeling of being x-rayed. 

“I know,” Tony says. “But that’s kind of the point. I’ve been through so much shit in my life that I know pretty much exactly how you feel.” 

He drags himself a bit more upright and lays a warm hand on Peter’s forearm. “I know how it is when your thoughts circle back to the same moment over and over again and the nightmares won’t let you rest. I know how easy it is to isolate yourself because the memories are eating you up and you feel like nobody can help you.”

He pauses for a moment and rubs a hand over his forehead. Peter remembers the darkness on Tony’s face the first time they met and wonders whether that’s what Tony sees on his now. 

“What I’m trying to say is,” Tony continues, “you don’t have to pretend to be fine if you’re not. At least not in front of me or May.” 

The irony of it almost makes Peter smile, despite the lump forming in his throat. Tony just spent the last 36 hours trying to downplay the pain he was in. “You are one to talk,” he remarks.

Tony chuckles quietly. “Still learning, kid.” He picks up his tea cup and takes another sip before continuing in a softer voice. “Just trust me, it‘s okay to be a little broken, even when you’re not sick. And you don’t have to hide it. I know what loneliness looks like. I’ve been through all of it and it took me years to understand that the only thing that can help is to let other people in―the right kind of people.”

The thoughts are running a marathon in Peter’s head and he’s dimly aware that he’s trembling. He swallows hard before speaking. “It’s just… sometimes I don’t even want to remember. It’s just so hard to start talking. About”―he takes a deep breath―“the battle. And the dreams. And everything else.”

“Yeah, it is. I never said it would be easy.” Tony seems to hesitate for a moment, but then he pulls Peter toward him one-handedly so that they can lie side by side. He covers both of them with his blanket. Peter turns his head into Tony’s shoulder and closes his eyes, taking deep breaths. “And we don’t have to start today. But I’ll be there whenever you’re ready.”

________________

If you liked this, you might also enjoy my other post-Endgame fic (in which Tony is obviously still alive): What We Lose in the Fire We Gain in the Flood

All my fics

Taglist: @toomuchtoread33  @yepokokfine

[mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea]

First Lines

Rules: list the first line of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). see if there are any patterns, choose your favorite opening line, and then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

Tagged by @mcfiddlestan  Thanks for the tag!

20. Don’t you draw the queen of diamonds (She’ll beat you if she’s able)

Scott Summers/Logan; Words:3914

"I can't believe you're making me do this, Emma."

Scott held the cellphone to his ear with one bare shoulder and stared at himself in the mirror.  He tried to adjust what he was wearing.  What little he was wearing, and he wrinkled his nose at his reflection.

19. The spheres are in commotion

Bruce Banner/Jane Foster, post-Endgame.  Words: 2526

Tony's words echoed in Bruce's head, so much so that he nearly fucked up the experiment he was running with two very volatile chemicals that would've destroyed the freshly rebuilt Avengers base.

18. They Bid Me Take My Place Among Them

Loki + Tony Stark, post-Endgame AU, pre-Valhalla ship. Words: 2293

Tony screamed as the pain of a million suns flayed his right arm and side of his face.

17. She told me to come, but I was already there

Emma Frost/Tony Stark.  Words: 1488

"With this ring, I thee wed.  I, Emma Grace Frost, take you, Anthony Edward Stark to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death parts us."  

16. Take me with all of my beautiful scars

Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes. Post-Civil War (MCU), pre-cryo Bucky. Wakanda. Words: 817 

He slept most of the way from Siberia to Wakanda, but T'Challa nudged him awake for the view of sunrise over paradise.

15. The indefinite unshapen dawn with vacant gloaming

Loki/Tony Stark. Post-Endgame AU.  Words: 1370

All around the battlefield, the wounded were tended to.

14. Yet what can I give him, give my heart

Scott Summers/Logan.  Words: 3470

He came up to his lonely cabin in the middle of nowhere to get away from the after-holiday fuss.

13. And white the fading forests grow

Emma Frost/Loki/Tony Stark, Kate Pryde/Danni (tattoo artist from the comic, I named her because the comic didn’t), Bobby Drake/Christian Frost.  Words: 2643

If anyone had told Kate Pryde years ago that she'd wind up spending a whole holiday season at a quaint little (little being relative) cabin in the New England wilderness instead of the Xavier School or any other large gathering of mutants, she'd have laughed them right out of her face.

12. Now is the Winter of Our Discontent Made Glorious

Loki/Tony Stark.  No powers, college AU.  Words: 12510 (technically posting two lines of this one because the first is short dialogue.)

"Wanna listen to something else?"

Tony glanced over at his passenger.  He couldn't tell if Loki was bored or depressed or just lost in thought, but the screen on his tablet hadn't changed from the same page he'd been 'reading' for the last hour.

11. I know you’ll be a star In somebody else’s sky

Scott Summers/Logan, Emma Frost/Scott Summers.  Words: 482

Scott let out a soft moan when Logan's mouth crushed onto his.

10. Seemed like he knew me, he looked right through me

Loki + Tony Stark. Post-Infinity War AU. Words: 1296

It took months before Tony was well enough to leave the Avengers facility he'd built for a team he'd stopped 'consulting' for after Steve went rogue and disappeared.

9. All the losing and the knowing

Loki + Thor. Thor: Ragnarok canon divergent. Words: 542

The third time Thor's fist connected with his face, Loki heard the crunch of his nose.

8. Ghost of a Chance

Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers/Peggy Carter, Bucky Barnes + Peggy Carter.  Words: 1341

Scratchy tunes faded in and out from the radio in the training facility.

7. Behind Blue Eyes

Loki/Emma Frost; Loki/Tony Stark, Emma Frost/Scott Summers. Canon divergent comic’verse, involves shapechanging and mind-bending.  Words: 19142

Emma hissed as the cup burned her bottom lip, and she set it down with a scowl.

6. Supernaut

Loki + Tony Stark.  Post-Infinity War, pre-Endgame AU. Words: 2553

Whatever pieces of Loki were left in the wreckage of The Statesman were intact enough that healing from death...again...took only as long as Thanos' snap that ended half of all life across the known universe.

5. We Were Never Boy Scouts

Loki/Steve Rogers. Canon divergent, post-Civil War. Words: 5319

*

A frost giant and a once-frozen centenarian walk into a bar...

*

That's where the joke ends.  That bar isn't really a bar.  It's the middle of nowhere in the North Siberian Lowland, and there isn't a structure or building or person in sight.

4. Far away you were made in a sea just like me Part 1 of Hemispheres

Loki/Tony Stark. Canon divergent, alternate reality.  Words: 6730

It was the gray light that gently tugged him from sleep.

3. A spirit with a vision (Is a dream with a mission) Part 2 of Hemispheres

Loki/Tony Stark. Canon divergent, actual reality. Slow burn.  Words: 41901 (WIP)

"Tony, this is madness."

Tony finished his third cup of coffee and poured another for himself.

2. A Warrior’s Wound

Kurt Wagner/James Howlett (Logan).  Words: 596

In the near-two centuries since he’d been alive, Logan had been stabbed, sliced, gutted, burned, shot, survived grenades, canons, arrows, magic, inter-dimensional weaponry, Dracula’s bite, Sabertooth’s claws, Hulk’s smash, Black Widow’s knives, Cyclops’ eye-blast, Jean’s mind-punches, Hank eating his leg, Remy’s flying sparky cards, Rogue’s touch, Emma’s diamond slaps, Reed’s rubbery choke-holds, S.H.I.E.L.D removing his head, Mystique’s...everything, and sometimes, his own clumsiness.  

1. Hey Jealousy

Loki/Tony Stark, but...not exactly.  Loki’s jealous that Bruce has gotten into Tony’s pants.  Thor: Ragnarok, canon...tweaked.  Words: 1011

“Surpriiiiiise.”

Okay, seriously MY first line for this is: 

Before they split up to take care of their escape plans, Bruce tugs at the crotch of the pants again.

I’m not sure what patterns I have here other than maybe starting a fic with dialogue or starting with something short and punchy.  

Tagging: @scottxlogan @izhunny @kleenexwoman @iamanartichoke @mistressofmuses @stephrc79 @elvenferretots @oceanplait @gold-from-straw @gaslightgallows 

[spacesuitsforemergency]

The Rise Of Iron Maiden

Chapter 5: The Return of Iron Maiden

Word Count: 2.9k

Originally Requested by: @amateurwriterbigdreamer

Previous Chapter: Failure to Launch

Next Chapter: Whatever it Takes

A/N: hope y’all don’t mind it from Tye’s POV, it just adds to the story and develops his character. Y/N gets her character arc going too towards the end.

5 YEARS LATER

•

Tye sighed in boredom as he wandered around the halls of the Avengers Compound, his home for 8 years now. He was 21 now, legally an adult. He could’ve gotten his own place 3 years ago, but he felt he would truly be alone if he did that. You lived with your parents and younger sister in the countryside, your dad wanting to isolate you from the hero life. This meant Tye hadn’t seen you for almost two years now, his only friend left was taken from him. He knew Tony didn’t mean any harm, he just wanted his daughter safe, but it still confused him.

Tye was always confused these days. He lived with Natasha Romanoff at the Compound, the only one left that was willing to stay with him. Clint had disappeared off the face of the planet, despite not being taken in the Snap. Tye was lost without his own best friend, Jaime Reyes. Jaime and him stuck together no matter what, and Tye never knew what to do without him. He was confused, on why the world seemed to take everything away from him. His mother, his father, his grandpa, his best friends, his team, his mentors...

“...Will you find out where he's going next?” Natasha asks holographic Rhodey. Tye realized he walked into the meeting room, where Natasha was having her weekly check in with the other teams.

“Nat...” Rhodey trailed off.

“Please.” She took a shaky breath.

“...okay...” Rhodey nodded, saw Tye, then cut off his side of the connection.

Nat started to cry miserably, and Tye didn’t know whether to make his presence known or just leave. He decided on the latter, turning to walk out silently.

“Tye?”

Tye winced, feeling like he was intruding. He turned slowly, a pang of sadness stinging through him when he saw the sorrow in Natasha’s eyes.

“Nat, Uh...Sorry, I didn’t mean to just barge in-“

“It’s okay.” She chuckled, wiping her eyes. “You want some dinner?”

“Uh...no, I’m good.” Tye shook his head, seeing the half eaten PB&J on her desk. “See you’re eating healthy.”

“Oh, what’s the point of keeping up a proper diet anyways?” She laughed, despite the few tears rolling down her face.

“Good point.” He cracked a grin, which she rarely saw the young man do. “So...anything bad happening anywhere?”

“No. Everything seems under control.” Nat shook her head. “Why? You worried about something?”

“It’s nothing, mom.” Tye shook his head. When he didn’t get any response, he looked up from staring at the floor, seeing Natasha staring in surprise at him. “What?”

“You called me mom.” She said, the shock evident in her voice.

“I did? Oh...uh...sorry, I didn’t mean to it just kinda-“ he started to awkwardly walk away.

“No no no!” She stood up, clearing her throat and a smile spreading across her face. “It Uh...you think of me as a mom?”

“I mean...yeah.” Tye mumbled, embarrassed. He wasn’t used to letting his emotions or thoughts be exposed like this. “You practically raised me ever since I got...stuck here. I’ve always looked up to you.”

“That...really?” She smiled wider, tears running down her face again.

“Oh don’t cry! This is sappy enough as it is!” Tye grumbled as Natasha laughed at his reaction. She rounded the desk and pulled him into a hug, Tye stiffening at first. He eventually grew comfortable enough to hug her back, feeling safe in her arms. It reminded him of his mother’s hugs, but somehow Natasha’s were more...genuine. Loving. It was nice. Something Tye wasn’t used to.

“I’ll tell you a secret, kid.” She ruffled his hair as she pulled back. “I’ve always wanted a son, and I am so happy you’re the one.”

“Okay, that’s enough love and affection for one night, Nat.” Tye shuddered, making her laugh again.

“Don’t you mean mom?” She teased.

The mother and son (sort of) whipped around when a hologram popped up, seeing footage of what looked to be a security camera.

“Oh! Hi. Hi! Is anyone home? This is Scott Lang. We met a few years ago, at the airport? In Germany? I got really big, and I had my mask on. You wouldn't recognize me.” Scott Lang, AKA Ant Man waved at the camera.

“Is this an old message?” Tye asked.

“It’s the front gate.” Nat stared in disbelief.

“Ant Man? Ant Man, I know you know that. I need to talk to you guys.” Scott shouted.

Nat typed a few things into a control panel, and the door opened. Scott looked between the camera and the door for a moment before finally letting himself in. Scott found his way to where they were standing, in complete shock. Scott Lang was supposed to be dust right now, along with half the universe.

“Scott? Are you okay?” Tye asked the man, now nervously pacing.

“Yeah. Fine. So you do know me? Or are you just going with the name I gave you?” Scott asked.

“No uh, my friends broke into your house a few years ago. Before the Snap, remember a guy in a spider suit and another in a beetle suit?”

“Right! The Bug Squad!” Scott smiled excitedly. “That was so cool.”

“Scott, focus.”

“Right. Have you guys studied Quantum Physics?”

“Only to make conversation.” Nat said, though neither guy could tell if she was joking.

“Sorry, no.” Tye pursed his lips.

“Alright. So... five years ago, right before Thanos, I was in a place called the Quantum Realm. The Quantum Realm is like its own microscopic universe. To get in there, you have to be incredibly small. Hope, she's my...She was my...She was supposed to pull me out. And then Thanos happened, and I got stuck in there.” Scott explained.

“I’m sorry, that must’ve been a long five years.” Nat said.

“Yeah, but that's just it. It wasn't. For me, it was five hours.” Scott shook his head rapidly. Tye looked at his mom, bewildered.

“See, the rules of the Quantum Realm aren't like they are up here. Everything is unpredictable. Is that anybody's sandwich? I'm starving.” Scott asked, already shoving half of it into his mouth.

“Scott, what are you talking about?” Tye asked, crossing his arms.

“What I'm saying is, time works differently in the Quantum Realm. The only problem is right now, we don't have a way to navigate it. But what if we did? I can't stop thinking about it. What if, we could somehow control the chaos, and we could navigate it? What if there was a way to enter the Quantum Realm at a certain point in time but then exit at another point in time? Like... Like before Thanos.” Scott slowly explained, motioning wildly with his hands.

“Wait, are you talking about a time machine? Like from Back to the Future?” Tye raised his eyebrows.

“No. No, of course not. No, not a time machine. It's more like a... Yeah, a time machine. I know it's crazy. But I can't stop thinking about it. There's gotta be some way...There's gotta be...some w... it's crazy.” Scott rambled.

“Scott, I get e-mails from a raccoon, so nothing sounds crazy anymore.” Natasha scoffed.

“So who do we need to talk to about this?” Scott asked them. Nat and Tye exchanged glances again, both knowing the answer.

•

You tapped your fingers impatiently on your windowsill, looking out the window of your bedroom.

You had received a text from Tye Longshadow for the first time in months, and they were coming to your house. You were sworn to secrecy, so that your dad couldn’t prepare for the attack. You were anxious, wanting to see them so bad.

Your dad had isolated you from anything that had to do with being Iron Maiden. That included a lot of people in your life. You were mad at your dad, for taking you away from what little you had left. You missed Tye, you missed Natasha and Steve, and Rhodey and Dr. Banner. Thor and Clint, even though they weren’t really around anymore. Even Nebula and the rude raccoon. You were forbidden from putting on the Iron Maiden suit, and you didn’t know why you listened to him. You were an adult, you could make your own decisions. Plus, you’d never listened to him before. Maybe you listened this time because the guilt of not listening before the Snap dragged you down. But it also dragged you down as a person. You weren’t as happy or sarcastic anymore, you’d lost the classic Stark Charm™️.

You looked at the photos on your window sill, smiling sadly as you reminisced about what felt like your past life. One photo was you and your team after your first official Avengers permitted mission, all beat up and tired, sitting at a pizza booth. The other was of you and Peter in middle school, holding the first prize ribbon of the science fair. The last was of you and Eduardo, the love of your life. Peter had snuck a picture of you two sitting across from each other at a diner, smiling and looking into each other’s eyes. Your fingers were intertwined in the picture, and all you wanted to do was feel his hand in yours again. To hear his voice in person, not just from old videos. To smell the scent of his fancy cologne. To look into his beautiful, big brown eyes. To feel his lips on yours...

You look up when you see a black Audi pull into your driveway, and you bolt downstairs. Your mother was thankfully working in her office, so you didn’t get scolded for running in the house. You ran down the gravel pathway, passed your dad and little sister, running to your last friend standing. He let you hug him, and to your surprise he hugged you back.

“Good to see you.” You say as you pull away from Tye.

“Yeah, you too.” He nodded.

“You still wear a headband, I see.” You grin teasingly.

“You still haven’t gotten taller, I see.” He retorted.

•

“Now, we know what it sounds like...” Scott trailed off after the heroes explained their (currently) hypothetical plan to you and Tony.

“Tony, Y/N, after everything you've seen, is anything really impossible?” Steve asked. He knew you had taken up your time studying everything, following your father’s footsteps.

“Quantum fluctuation messes with the Planck Scale, which then triggers the Deutsch Proposition.” You mumble, lost in thought.

“Can we agree on that?” Tony asked his fellow Avengers. They all look at each other, clueless. “In Layman's terms, it means you're not coming home.”

“I did.” Scott shrugged as Tony handed them drinks.

“No, you accidentally survived. It's a billion to one cosmic fluke. And now you wanna pull off a...What do you call it?”

“A time heist?” Scott suggested, a goofy grin on his face.

“Yeah, a time heist. Of course, why didn't we think of this before? Oh, because it's laughable? Because it's a pipedream?” Your dad scoffed.

“The Stones are in the past. We can go back and get them.” Tye explained.

“We can snap our own fingers. We can bring everyone back.” Natasha added.

“Or screw it up worse than he already has, right?” Tony raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t believe we would.” Steve said confidentially.

“Gotta say, sometimes I miss that giddy optimism. However, high hopes won't help if there's no logical, tangible way for me to safely execute said time heist. I believe the most likely outcome would be our collective demise.” Tony ranted.

“Not if we strictly follow the rules of time travel. That means no talking to our past selves, no betting on sporting events-“ Tye listed.

“I'm gonna stop you right there, Tye. Are you seriously telling me that your plan to save the universe is based on Back To The Future?” Tony asked his ex-mentee. “God, I’m gone for a couple years and you start saying stupid shit like this?”

“...no.” Him and Scott mumbled in unison.

“Good. You had me worried there. 'Cause that'd be horse shit. That's not how quantum physics works.”

“Tony...We have to take a stand.” Natasha tried to persuade him.

“We did stand. And yet, here we are.”

“I know you got a lot on the line. You got a wife, daughters. But I lost someone very important to me. A lot of people did.” Scott said desperately. “And now, now we have a chance to bring her back. To bring everyone back. And you're telling me that won't even...”

“That's right, Scott, I won't even. I have kids.”

As if on cue, Morgan runs out onto the porch, your dad picking her up.

“Mommy told me to come and save you.” She said shyly, weary of the new faces.

“Good job. I'm saved.” Tony kisses her on the head as he picked her up, before turning back to the heroes. “I wish you'd come here to ask me something else. Anything else. Honestly, I...I missed you guys, it was...Oh, and table's set for seven.”

“Tony, I get it. And I'm happy for you, I really am. But this is a second chance.” Steve tried to reason with him.

“I got my second chance right here, Cap. I can't roll the dice again. If you don't talk shop, you can stay for lunch.” Tony said, and it stung when he didn’t point to you too. You watch him leave, ignoring his orders to come inside.

“I’m in.” You tell them.

“Won’t your dad...?” Natasha trailed off.

“He’s not in control of me.” You shook your head. “If there’s even the slightest chance this will work, I’m in.”

“It’ll definitely work if we have a Stark with us.” Scott grinned.

“Glad to have you back, Iron Maiden.” Steve pat your shoulder.

You smile, not hearing yourself be referred to by that name in such a long time. It made your heart fill with pride, and fueled your determination.

“Y/N Stark.” Tony said from the doorway.

“Don’t leave without me.” You tell them, glaring at your father as you push past him.

“Y/N, where are you going?” Your dad demanded.

“With them.” You spat as he follows you upstairs. “I’m going to try. Unlike you, I have hope.”

“It’s not that I don’t have hope. I just can’t risk any of this.” Tony insisted.

“Any of what? What kind of life is this, dad? Sure it’s great for you, but did you ever stop to look at it from my perspective?” You ask as you grab a bag from under your bed, tossing your photos from the windowsill into it.

“All I’ve ever done is protect you.” Your dad says through his teeth. “Why are you doing this? To get back at me?”

“No dad! I’m doing this because I want everyone back! This is my chance to save everyone! It’s my fault Thanos did this in the first place! If I was stronger, Eduardo would still be here! Peter! Jaime! Bucky! Wanda! The Guardians! Doctor Strange! Sam! Don’t you care about any of them?”

“Of course I care about them! But I care about my family more!”

“They’re my family!” You yell at him, the frustration that you’ve been bottling up for years finally pouring out.

“So that’s it?” Your dad scoffs and shakes his head in disappointment. “What if you screw this up? Huh? What if you make things worse. You’re willing to risk your mother’s life? Your little sisters, for your boyfriend?”

“You know what? Yes.” You snap, zipping your bag up and tossing it over your shoulder. “Not just for him. For everyone. For my life. I want my life back, and apparently that’s something you can’t give me.”

You storm out of your room and down the stairs, seeing Morgan sitting at the table, eating lunch. She grins when she sees you, looking at your bag.

“Where are you going?” She asked as you walked over and kneeled next to her seat.

“I’m gonna go see some old friends for a little bit. Think you can hold down the fort around here?” You ask her.

“Yeah.” She smiled.

“Are you sure? It’s gonna be tough without me.” You tease her. “You’re gonna have to make sure daddy does the laundry right, you know how he always mixes up the soaps. And you have to make sure to save daddy from mommy’s scolding. Think you can take it, soldier?”

“I can take it.” She nodded happily.

“Alright.” You hug her. “Love you, kiddo. See ya later.”

“Bye.” She waved at you until you shut the door, and walked down to the car with the others.

“Iron Maiden and Apache Chief, back again.” Tye fist bumped you.

“Iron Maidens back in the game!” You cheer happily.

“He’s scared.” Natasha said to Steve and Scott.

“He’s not wrong.” Steve shrugged.

“Yeah, but I mean, what are we gonna do? We need him. I mean, we managed one Stark, but we need both. No offense, Ms. Tony Starks Daughter. What, are we gonna stop?” Scott rambled nervously.

“No, I wanna do it right. We're gonna need a really big brain.” Steve shook his head.

“Bigger than his?”

[kingreywrites]

Unravelling

Words count: 5978

Eugene Appreciation Week Day Four: AU

AU: The Snap from Avengers: Infinity War (but not a crossover, so no Thanos!)

Summary:  At first, Eugene thought that they had won. One second, he was laying on the ground, weak and drained, and the next, he was getting up suddenly, seeing the other Coronans do the same. He tried to find Rapunzel, because surely, she was responsible for the victory, but his eyes landed instead on Zhan Tiri, towering above them all and cackling.

Warnings: Temporary character death

Read on ao3

@fishskiin

At first, Eugene thought that they had won. One second, he was laying on the ground, weak and drained, and the next, he was getting up suddenly, seeing the other Coronans do the same. He tried to find Rapunzel, because surely, she was responsible for the victory, but his eyes landed instead on Zhan Tiri, towering above them all and cackling.

"Don't you see, Rapunzel?" It said, its voice chilling Eugene to his very core even as he scrambled to his feet. "Now that I have the sundrop and the moonstone, I hold the universe in my palm. I can hurt, I can heal, the world is listening to my every whims!"

A shape appeared behind the demon's head but it grabbed her - it was Cassandra, who had tried and failed to knock Zhan Tiri out and was now hanging upside down in its tentacle, as Eugene had done earlier. He got a glimpse of Rapunzel as she screamed Cassandra's name, and ran toward the stairs, trying desperately to get to her, taking notice of her long but brown hair.

"You know what else I can do?" Zhan Tiri continued gleefully. "I could wipe life off the face of Earth with only a snap of my fingers… But where would be the fun in that, if no one is there to suffer from it?" It laughed just as Eugene was close enough to see the horror mirrored on both Rapunzel's and Cassandra's eyes.

Zhan Tiri raised its arm, letting Cassandra down harshly, an awful smile cutting through its face.

"Let's only do half of it," Zhan Tiri grinned and snapped its fingers, releasing a wave of energy that brought everyone to their knees.

Eugene coughed and, when he opened his eyes, Zhan Tiri wasn't here anymore. He got up again and ran to Rapunzel, who seemed to be frozen in place.

"Sunshine? Are you alright?" he asked frantically, his hands going to her shoulders.

"Eugene," was all she could choke out, her eyes going to the crowd under the balcony.

Despite his worry, Eugene also turned his eyes toward them when he heard worried exclamations - just in time to see Quirin trying desperately to reach Varian as the kid disappeared into dust.

Eugene choked out Varian's name, his heart beating in his head loudly as Zhan Tiri's word echoed in the wind. Let's only do half of it.

Right before their eyes, friends and family were disappearing, but they were both frozen to the spot. Rapunzel was trembling under his hands but Eugene felt too much like he was floating, unable to wrap his head around this horror, to be capable of comfort.

"Eugene," Rapunzel whispered again, something so wrong and fragile in her voice that his eyes automatically went to her. "I- I don't feel so good."

She collapsed against him and, as he lowered her to the ground, Eugene felt like he was being strangled.

"No, no, no, no Sunshine," he pleaded, taking in her pale skin with burning eyes, "don't do that to me, please, Rapunzel-"

"Eugene, I'm sorry," she choked, her hand going to cup his face like he had done to her a long time ago - and, if he thought he was reassuring her at the time, he now knew that it was the opposite. Her hand was cold and weak on his cheek and he hated it, hated the contact, hated the meaning she was putting into this because she couldn't leave, not like that, she couldn't-

Her hand disappeared from his cheek and he watched numbly the dust, realising that he hated it even more. His tears were falling down on her now, inhibited, but he wasn't like her - he didn't have any last minute miracle, any lingering super power, he was just Eugene. Plain old Eugene, who couldn't save her.

"Rapunzel," he begged as she smiled, something sad and resigned in her eyes that he hated.

"You're my dream, Eugene Fitzherbert," she said, present tense, but it still sounded like a goodbye.

"You're mine," he sobbed back, but there was only dust under his tears now.

------

The kingdom was in shambles. Zhan Tiri was on the run, armed with infinite powers and the capacity to hide where time and space didn't exist, making any search pretty difficult.

King Frederick was gone. Princess Rapunzel was gone. Queen Arianna now reigned alone, Eugene acting as Captain of the Guard, right hand man, next in line and a shit ton of other jobs that he focused on as long as he could ignore his emotions on the current situation.

Ah, and he was now King of the Dark Kingdom. (He hadn't even known his father a year, but like everything else, he took that thought and shoved it far away in his mind, right in a little box where he couldn't see it. The box was overflowing.)

"We need the manpower to track down Zhan Tiri," he argued, frustrated as Arianna stayed carefully blank in front of him, seated alone on the throne.

"We need the manpower to rebuild Corona," she answered firmly.

"We can rebuild when we've brought everyone back! Which is why finding Zhan Tiri comes first!"

The problem, when you were constantly faced with global magical threat, was that it was difficult to accept something as final. Turning into dust? Please, they nearly turned into birds and were fine; Eugene just had to find Zhan Tiri, kick its calamari ass and everything will be fine, as it always was! And for that, he needed all the help he could get, if only Arianna would listen to him. Her face was hard and sunken with grief.

"Eugene, our kingdom needs to be protected and our citizens need to have their homes rebuilt. I will not send the few men we have left on a wild goose chase-"

"So that's it?! You've lost faith already?!"

"Captain," Arianna growled, something he never heard her do, "do not question my faith."

Eugene gulped, and closed his eyes. A flash of Rapunzel crumbling into dust before him made him open them again quickly, and he tightened his fists so hard that, without his gloves, his nails would have pierced through his skin. The silence between them was heavy, until Arianna sighed, looking smaller and older on the throne.

"You can have a small team working on it, but the priority is reconstruction, alright?" she proposed and the weary hope in her eyes was enough to make him crumble a little inside.

"Yeah," he breathed, shoulders slumping, "thank you, Arianna."

She smiled, a tiny, fake, entirely unconvincing smile, and he gave her the same in return, both of them not okay but with too much responsibility to truly let it through.

------

"Come on in," Eugene called absently as he poured through old documents concerning anything to do with the moonstone, the sundrop, Zhan Tiri or anything, really, that could matter right now. The moon was high in the sky, and he had been doing this well into the night, but he had too much to do the day and too many nightmares to escape anyway.

The door to this office opened and closed, and he heard an anxious intake of breath but, instead of saying anything, this person waited. Eugene sighed and raised his head, his eyes widening when he met Cassandra's (which were back to normal and, in a way, that was destabilizing).

"I've been told you wanted to see me," she finally said, squaring her shoulders.

"Yeah, tomorrow morning, not at whatever hour this is," he answered without too much heat, closing the useless book he held.

"You're not sleeping."

"Are you?"

She didn't answer. He didn't break the eye contact.

"Why did you want to see me?" she asked, lowering her gaze to watch her feet. She wasn't as confident as he remembered her but, clearly, the situation could excuse some of the differences.

"I'm making a team to chase Zhan Tiri down, and you'll be part of it," he announced, his Captain tone accepting no contradiction. Cassandra stiffened at the order, clearly uncomfortable, and Eugene felt guilty because he knew Rapunzel would be angry at him. After the whole moonstone debacle, his Sunshine would insist on making Cass the most comfortable possible, encouraging her to be herself and follow her dreams or something. And, honestly, when Rapunzel had faith in someone, Eugene never managed to stay angry for long - he had missed Cassandra and, while he couldn't excuse everything, he could move past it if Rapunzel did.

Rapunzel was not here, however. He was, this situation was and he needed Cassandra as the soldier he knew she could be.

"I- I'm not sure… Me?" she mumbled, her right hand going to cradle the other.

"Don't," Eugene warned, sensing immediately where her mind was going. He walked to her, too close for both of their comfort, his face hard as he poked her shoulder. "This guilt you're feeling? Shove it. Or better yet, turn it into anger or whatever fuels you to be stronger. You," he poked again, satisfied to see a dangerous look flash through her eyes, "you are one of Corona's strongest asset right now so, if you want forgiveness, work for it and help me bring everyone back."

She pushed his hand away and nodded, immediately raising herself to her full height to glare at him. He'd have smiled, if he didn't feel like there was a hole in his soul. In some part of his mind, he realised that burying their feelings until they exploded must be unhealthy but, for all their griefs, Cassandra and him were scarily similar when dealing with serious situations. They'd break later.

"Alright, Captain," she nodded, the word foreign on her tongue when it concerned Eugene. She swallowed against the lump in her throat to no avail. "Let's bring everyone back."

She went to sit and opened one of the books in the pile. Eugene wished Rapunzel could see it, could see how Cassandra was willing to listen to him even as it went against every of her instincts, because she wanted to save her - and he realized that Rapunzel would see it once he brought her back. He sat down too, and took another book.

------

It was weird going out into town to see that, as much as everyone wished it didn't, time was still passing. Some families were luckier than other - it was true both of those who lost no one, and those that lost everyone in one go - but all of the Coronans were just that, Coronans. They raised up when life brought them down and, right now, there were collective efforts to rebuild effectively.

Eugene was still surprised to see the genuine concern they held for him, now that Rapunzel was gone and that this whole fiasco happened at the start of his career as Captain of the Guard. They didn't resent him, apparently, when they had every reasons to, and Eugene was incredibly grateful for it.

It had been two weeks since the Snap. They were now used to see him travel into town to help them, Eugene being careful of what he agreed with Arianna - and she was right, he could see. Corona couldn't wait for a still unknown miracle, the subjects needed help now. And, after all, he didn't want to sleep much anyway, so it was a win-win.

Today, he wasn't stopping to help, however; he had a clear destination in mind.

He got down from Maximus, petting him gently because he had been the greatest horse and friend a man could ask for - and Eugene could see how sad he had been, having too lost his closest friends. Pascal was gone, too.

He went to knock and the door opened immediately.

"Hello, Quirin," Eugene smiled feebly, seeing in the shadows under his eyes a mirror of his own grief and exhaustion. "Sorry for not coming earlier."

"Ah, don't worry Captain," Quirin sighed. "We went through a lot of- of Varian's notes, and we found a lot of interesting material to find Zhan Tiri," he announced as Eugene went inside, barely stumbling over his son's name anymore, but not able to hide the deep-seated grief he held.

As awful as the comparison was, father and son had a very different way to deal with loss. Quirin was a quiet and efficient kind of devastated, though his red-rimmed eyes betrayed the way he spent his nights. Varian had been angry and loud, ready to destroy everything if it meant getting his dad back. Though, Eugene saw in Quirin's determination that they were lucky he didn't think Corona was responsible for the situation; something told him that he would stop at nothing to get his son back either.

They walked toward the lab, and Eugene felt a bittersweet kind of ache at seeing Angry pouring so silently over some papers. Catalina was gone, but she wasn't. At the very beginning, when Eugene realised that she was alone, that even Lance was gone - and that was its own can of worm he didn't want to open because Lance had been the only constant in his life since he was a kid and now, he wasn't here anymore - he had proposed that she sleep at the Castle. He wasn't sure it was a good solution, because the castle was huge, empty, and half-destroyed, but Angry needed help and he cared about her too much to let her go somewhere he didn't trust.

Thankfully, Quirin had come forward, tears still in his eyes, and asked if she would prefer to come to his own home.

"You already visited a lot of time," he explained, talking directly with her instead of Eugene which he knew the girl would appreciate, "and you're my son's friend, you're always welcome in our home."

So that was how this arrangement came to be. Angry raised her head at the noise and looked carefully at Eugene - he had been by but he hadn't stopped here in four days, so he understood some of the worry she displayed, especially now that everyone she cared about left her. Unwillingly, but to an orphan with abandonment issues, it was the same devastating feeling anyway - Eugene knew something about it.

"Hey, Angry," he smiled, going to put his hand lightly on her shoulder and she let him. "Quirin tells me you've found useful things?"

She looked up to him, looking so mature now, as if it wasn't two weeks but two years that had gone - and it certainly felt like it. But her little hand brushed against Eugene's for a second, before she launched herself in a explanation, and perhaps they weren't okay, but at least Eugen knew they'll manage. For now.

------

Faced with the doors to Rapunzel's room, Eugene felt sick. It was one thing to convince himself that he could fix this; another to be in front of the reality of her absence. He could practically hear her laugh inside, talking to Pascal about one thing or the other; could practically see her painting inside, with paint she didn't notice on her nose, so beautiful and bright that she made him light up inside each time. His hands hovered above the handles, trembling, and Eugene nearly turned back.

But he was here because he knew he would find her here.

Slowly, he pushed the door open, Rapunzel's bedroom more somber and grey than he had ever seen it. On her bed, her back to him and hunched on herself, was Queen Arianna.

Eugene swallowed harshly at the sight, unsure if confronting her here was the best idea. Her shoulders were shaking and, in her hands, he could see clearly Rapunzel's journal - for a moment, he wanted to cry too, but he didn't allow himself this privilege. He had to fix this, and Arianna was avoiding him, so here he was.

"Hello Eugene," she said quietly, her voice breaking.

"Hello Arianna," he breathed, guilt churning inside his stomach.

"I won't be able to avoid this conversation forever, will I?" Arianna laughed, but it was an empty sound. Still not looking at him, she put Rapunzel's journal carefully on the bed, and brushed her tears. When she met his eyes, the determination in her green one was so much like Rapunzel that Eugene felt like he was choking. He was still standing stiffly, but he had left the Captain uniform for this conversation.

"I- Cassandra found the device we needed in Demanitus' lair and, thanks to Xavier and Varian's notes, we managed to make it work," he reported carefully, before taking a big breath. "We can find Zhan Tiri."

The announcement didn't bring joy, because joy was something they both lacked these days. Arianna was still looking at him, every bit of the Queen she was, but with something of Rapunzel he couldn't face. Eugene closed his eyes tightly, before coming out with it.

"James - the ex-Captain of the Guard - agreed to take charge once again considering the situation. Cassandra will be going with me, and that's all, so Corona will still have all the manpower it needs but-"

"You're leaving," Arianna finished gently, her hand going to fiddle with her necklace. "Well, chasing after this monster, in any case."

"Yes," Eugene croaked, "I am."

She got up and suddenly, Eugene found himself wishing that she would scream at him. Scream that he was abandoning her, abandoning the kingdom he had swore to protect when he became Captain, scream that he should have saved Rapunzel when he had the occasion, not nearly one month later - scream at him all the things he already thought about himself, all the reproaches he wanted someone to throw at him. He wished for someone to blame him at least half as much as he blamed himself, because, then, he wouldn't feel so empty all the time.

It was unfair to expect that from Arianna. Grief was an old friend to her, and anger had never been her refuge.

She walked toward him, the purple sky illuminating her features and Eugene had to force himself not to take a step back when faced with the tangible emotion she exuded.

"I've lost a lot, Eugene. The world lost a lot. The kingdom, my kingdom is suffering, and I need to be strong for everyone, but I was wrong to think that I could stop you in your endeavour."

She raised her hand when he seemed about to protest, and got closer to him. He was taller than her, but didn't feel like it right now, not when she seemed to hold the universe on her shoulders.

"I've lost my husband. I've lost my daughter, for the second time." Her voice broke and tears gathered in her eyes while Eugene stood helplessly, unsure of the point she was trying to make even as he wished fervently he could do anything to ease her pain. She had done so much for him, and now he was helpless to comfort her. Arianna composed herself, her hand going to cup his cheek gently. "Don't make me lose you too."

Eugene exhaled all the air in his lungs with a "oh", his eyes warm and tingling as he realised that, in the middle of the worst loss of her life, Arianna was worried about him, wanted to protect him - was, to him, the only mother he ever knew. He was trembling, or she was trembling, he wasn't sure, because he abandoned all pretenses and swiped her in a crushing hug that she returned desperately.

For the first time since the Snap, Eugene cried.

------

As much as he wanted to just up and go, it took nearly a week for Eugene to be able to leave. Mostly because he helped the reinstated Captain of the Guard with the strategy the kingdom should adopt given the current situations, and also because they still needed more information before being able to. As surprising as it may sound, the Captain and him worked really well together, and Cassandra's help had too been invaluable.

"Fitzherbert," the Captain had called after him, a few minutes before their departure.

"Yes?"

"This," he gestured to the uniform Eugene had worn not too long ago, "is not permanent. I'm not un-retiring, we clear?"

Eugene could only nod, his throat dry, because he hadn't even thought they would want him back, considering the absolute disasters that happened during his short time. He was grateful, more than they could imagine because he had liked being Captain - he had liked the trust they were giving him and he had liked to be useful. He was glad it wasn't over yet.

As he told Arianna, only Cassandra and him went or, more precisely, both of them plus Max and Fidella. Eugene had worried about taking Maximus with him, considering this horse was the best guard in all Corona, but the same Maximus had decided for them that he would go with, and Eugene had never won a single argument with him.

They took the balloon for the long distances and that was the start of their search for Zhan Tiri.

The Demanitus’ device they managed to activate thanks to Varian's work was a radar that allowed them to get an idea on where Zhan Tiri was hiding thanks to the sheer energy the demon emitted, now that it possessed the powers of both the sundrop and the moonstone - but they soon realised that Zhan Tiri was playing with them. It lured them from places to places, appearing long enough for them to know that it worked, before disappearing - or worse.

"You’ve got to stop doing this," Cassandra muttered, tightening the bandage around his arm painfully. Eugene grunted, but didn’t bother answering, the pain a good distraction from the glare she was throwing him.

He yelped when she hit shin hard with her boot, before scowling at her as he took his arm from her hands. It was bandaged enough, anyway, and he didn’t have to justify his actions when she was the one he protected with this move.

"Eugene," she had said when he mumbled that he would go get something to eat, "you can't save them if you're dead."

He didn't answer, again, but that didn't stop her words from hitting their mark. He knew he had to do better.

Time passed quickly, and too slowly at the same time, until Eugene realised that it had been three months since the Snap and that he was still expecting Rapunzel to appear from time to time. Or Lance, or Catalina, or his Dad, or each and every person that he lost at the same time - his mind couldn't wrap itself over it so he just… didn't. Denial was his middle name, these days.

He had, quite ironically, started a journal, where he detailed precisely moments of their travels so he could tell everything to Rapunzel when he saw her. He knew she would appreciate it. Sometimes, it wasn't so much descriptions as it was letters, to them, the ones he lost - most often to Rapunzel. Sometimes, he only wrote "I'm sorry", because saying anything else would break him and he couldn't be weak - he couldn't let them down again.

Cassandra and him talked, a lot more than he expected. At first, he had asked of her that she recount to him every moment she spent with Zhan Tiri, a desperate attempt to find some kind of clue about what it could want. From there, she was the one who went into more personal territory, telling him about her choices and her regrets. He couldn't find it in himself to extend the same trust, because he couldn't conjure the force to talk about their lost friends except as if they had all went on an unexpected trip.

But he did try, with Cassandra. He told her about the things he had trouble forgiving her. Then, he told her about things he had trouble forgiving himself for. Little things, but that was better than nothing.

On Rapunzel's birthday, he said nothing. Not a word, not a joke, he barely made any noise at all. Thankfully, Cassandra left him relatively alone - something that Rapunzel would have never allowed, but that he wouldn't allow from anyone but her. On her birthday, he wrote about the proposal he had been imagining since his own real birthday - since he found out Rapunzel had a ring for him. He wrote about taking her on a boat, and putting the ring in a cupcake for Pascal to reveal. He wrote about how he imagined she would shut him down, if she still wasn't ready, and he wrote about how he imagined she would accept, if she was. He wrote about how much he loved her, but not how much he missed her, because there were already tears running down his cheeks and he didn't think he could stay silent if he did.

He remembered telling her that they should stop doing their birthday tradition of being put in mortal danger, but now he wished for these moments back because, at least, in the end he knew she was alright.

He shut the journal down.

Thankfully, Rapunzel's birthday only lasted a day. Lance's birthday too. Edmund's too. Catalina's, Frederick's, Varian's… He hated birthdays again, now.

It had been a year, since they went after Zhan Tiri. They had come back to Corona once or twice, the balloon a good mode of transportation and owl a great message carrier, but despite all of their efforts, each time they found Zhan Tiri - nearly once every three days - the demon easily knocked them down and disappeared again. It was playing with them, and Eugene still couldn't see what was the point of it all.

No one in Corona dared to tell Eugene that maybe it was hopeless, but he could see in their eyes that it was what most thought - one of the reason they didn't come back more often. Cassandra understood. They argued, but, in the end, they were made of the same stuff, and they had the same goal.

Eugene still missed Rapunzel so much it felt like a missing limb, but he was clinging to this pain, clinging to his grief as if it was new, because he refused to mourn. Mourning was giving up, and he couldn't. He couldn't understand how Arianna and Frederick lived eighteen years through this, eighteen tears thinking that Rapunzel might be dead but never giving up hope. Each day made him quite aware that he wouldn't last eighteen years - not when only one broke him this much. Soon, there wouldn't be any pieces of him that could be picked up.

Finally, they found the solution in their beginning: the eclipse. Exactly one year after the Snap, some kind of poetic irony Eugene didn't want to think about.

Whatever Zhan Tiri did to get away each time, whatever great power it possessed - the day of the eclipse, Zhan Tiri was weakened. Once that Eugene and Cassandra understood that they needed the sundrop and the moonstone in its arms to touch, it was scarily quick to defeat this demon that took so much from them.

One year. One year of pain and grief, for it to be over in less than an hour. Eugene would have laughed, if his heart wasn't beating so loudly inside his ears as he watched the glowing stone floating in front of them, a beautiful mix of the moon and the sun's powers.

It wasn't over yet.

Maximus neighed worriedly but Eugene ignored him as he got to his feet, ready to take this stone and turn everything back as it should be. It was a hand, however, that stopped him.

"Eugene, this- This could kill you," Cassandra said, a question she couldn't ask between these words. 

"We didn't come this far just to turn back now," he answered plainly, no doubts lingering in his mind. "And if I can't bring them back…"

He didn't finish the thought, but Cassandra heard it loud and clear. This was their last chance, their last hope; if this didn't work, then… They had one year of grief to catch up on. She didn't think she could survive it, and she definitely knew he wouldn't. She had seen him unravelling, more than anyone. He had a journal full of stories dedicated to ghosts he couldn't let go of.

"Then, let's do it together," she announced firmly, her own decision taken. Maybe, at least, they wouldn't die - maybe she could save Eugene, even if she couldn't save anyone else. She hoped it wouldn't come to that, but she was tired of losing people because of her mistakes.

He looked about to protest, but nodded in the end. They approached the stone, pushing against the ring of energy encircling it, her hand gripping his sleeve. Eugene wondered what Rapunzel would think, now that both of her favourite people in the world got along - she would be overjoyed, he knew, and he couldn't help but smile at the idea that he would see her soon...

One way or another.

They grabbed the stone, together. They looked at each other but couldn't really see, blinded by the energy coursing through their veins. Eugene was the first one to talk - he sang the healing incantation, and Cassandra followed suit.

Flower, gleam and glow

Let your power shine

Make the clock reverse

Bring back what once was mine

The words were heavy and clumsy on his tongue, nothing of the grace he remembered Rapunzel having. He thought back to this night, at the campfire, when she healed his hand - thought back to this day, this smile, this woman who changed his life forever.

Heal what has been hurt

Change the Fates' design

Save what has been lost

Bring back what once was mine

He was begging at this point. Who, he didn't know, but for the first time since he hugged Arianna, he let himself feel the possibility of a world without his dad, without Lance or Varian or all his other friends - without Rapunzel, and he begged, because the pain in his heart was too great to consider even living in this reality.

What once was mine, they both finished, and the power exploded out of their hands, toward the sky, sending them both flying.

Maximus shook Eugene awake, one more second away from outright licking him - which would have disgusted them both. Eugene gasped, sat back up quickly, his eyes darting to Cassandra - seeing that, thankfully, she was also getting back up. Then, he looked around him.

There were flowers that hadn't been there before. A bird was looking around, apparently a bit dazed, before he took off - but Eugene was sure that all the birds had fled when the showdown with Zhan Tiri began. There was life, when there had only been half of it before.

Eugene flop back down, and laughed so hard he cried.

------

Getting back to Corona was the most stressful journey Eugene had ever been on. He almost started to write in his journal, until he realised that it was his way to talk to Rapunzel when she was not here - but she was now. He would see her soon, it was merely a two days journey in the balloon; he didn't need to write anymore. So he fidgeted, instead, his mind running with the best and the worst scenarios for their return. He also thought about those he had left in Corona - about Arianna, being back with her family; Quirin, finally reunited with his son; Angry, being hugged by both Catalina and Lance after a year apart. Had it been a year for them? He didn't think so, but he'd only know for sure once he was back. He wondered what Rapunzel must think, now that she surely had been briefed on the situation. Was she worried? Nobody knew where they were, exactly, or how they won against Zhan Tiri so, for all she knew, they could be hurt. All the more reason to get back as soon as possible.

Cassandra, for her part, was nervous but also worried. Half of Corona still thought of her as the crazy moonstone lady that put them in the clutch of Zhan Tiri, and she didn't want to know how they would react to her. Eugene threw her a knowing glance, but didn't think he could reassure as well as Rapunzel would surely do once they were back.

Because they would soon be back, and he would soon see her. Was he giddy or queasy? He wasn't sure.

They saw Corona well before the were above it, and Eugene popped his fingers so much Cassandra nearly worried he would break them. Then she was two busy biting her lips to make any kind of comment.

Neither of them were ready for the applause.

As the balloon got closer to the castle, they heard cheers and claps. Eugene peered over the edge of the balloon and saw that a lot of Coronans - a lot more than when he left - were gathering on the streets and cheering them on, some going as far as calling their names. Eugene smiled, and said nothing as he saw Cassandra get more emotional beside him, this acceptance more than she expected - even if it was deserved. Maximus headbutted him and Eugene petted him, a little absently because the were only moments away from landing.

Moments away from seeing them again.

In the yard, they were met by the wide-eyed stares of the guards and Eugene felt something lift in his heart when he saw that Conli, who had been turned into dust, was back. He was even more surprised when they called him Captain, before crowding him and Cassandra. The Captain - James - went to hug his daughter, but Eugene, as touched as he felt, really wanted to run to the throne room, because he felt that was where he'd find her.

He extracted himself and ran toward the stairs leading to the front door, not even having the awareness to excuse himself. They'd understand.

Eugene arrived in front of the door and, as he lifted his hand toward it, the doors were thrown open.

His eyes met Rapunzel's green ones. She hadn't changed a bit, except for her hair that was now short again and- and-

Eugene threw himself at her, bringing them both to their knees as he hugged her as tight as he could. She wasn't light, she wasn't dust, she was a sure weight against him that he knew like the back of his hand. She breathed his name, and he laughed weakly, tears making their way silently to her dress as he buried his head in the crook of her neck.

Rapunzel's right hand was tracing circles on his back as an attempt to sooth him. Eugene briefly opened his eyes and saw, from the corner of his vision, Cassandra standing awkwardly to the side, a shy but genuine smile on her lips. Eugene shifted, raised his hand to her - and she took it, nonplussed.

He pulled her into the hug. Rapunzel beamed, he could feel it on the skin of his neck, and he closed his eyes again.

Which was why he didn't see Lance get closer to them until he was hugging all three of them, his arms massive and familiar and safe. It was like a dam broke open and, suddenly, Catalina, Angry, Varian all jumped on them. Then, there was Edmund's arm settling on Eugene shoulder, and the flowery perfume Arianna always wore appearing to his left, with Frederick's rumbling laugh to accompany it. More people came, and maybe Eugene couldn't breathe, maybe there was still something in his heart that would never be completely fixed, but they would heal because they were home.

They were all home.